#i really dont mean to offend or start an argument i just want to see others defintion for proship? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wickedpact · 4 years

Note

Idea for a JoexNicky fic!! (anon here)- piggybacking off the other anon's nicky's mom idea, what if for an anniversary present, Joe sketches a portrait of Nicky's mother? (obviously she'd look like a beautiful warm goddess of kindness) Like maybe he has a dream of one of Nicky's most vivid memories ;-; I would literally die

so uh. this bloomed wildly out of my control

this ficlet is 5k words long so dont open that read more unless youre willing to commit to it

warnings: brief discussions of violence, extremely brief mention of sex, me not knowing how the FUCK one becomes a priest in Ye Olde 1000′s, and probably a criminal lack of historical accuracy as well as a criminal lack of the accented o in ‘nicolo’

yeehaw.

It starts with one of Andromache’s sparring sessions, and of course by ‘sparring’ session Nicolo means a session in which Andromache was in a piss poor mood for no obvious reason, and decided to take it out on the rest of them.

These sessions tend to start with Andromache coming hurtling into their camp with a dark expression on her face, and end with Yusuf and Nicolo sprawled on the ground, bruised and exhausted, while Andromache and Quynh beat the ever-loving hell out of each other nearby. (Yusuf has been convinced for a long time that it's some sort of mating ritual; Nicolo... doubts it.)

This time around, they are at some point after Nicolo has given up, and some point before Yusuf has joined him; Nicolo lies on the sand, starfished, while Quynh and Yusuf attempt to tag team Andromache with an abundance of vigor and middling results. Nicolo cranes his neck to watch the spectacle, catching a glimpse of Andromache flipping Quynh straight over her shoulder before twisting around and kicking Yusuf dangerously close to the groin. Yusuf stumbles, and Andromache grabs him by the shoulder, shoving his considerable weight off of his feet and towards Nicolo’s resting spot.

Yusuf, stumbling, manages to not trip over Nicolo by inches, and falls face-first onto the ground beside him with a groan. Meanwhile, Quynh has recovered and charges at Andy again, beginning their age-old dance yet again.

Yusuf grumbles at Nicolo’s side and peels himself off the ground, leveraging onto a knee. Nicolo drops his head back down to look at him, smiling when he swipes a hand across his beard to dislodge the sand accumulating there. Having been roasting under the midday sun and the excursion of the fight for hours now, Yusuf is layered in sweat and breathing heavily but evenly, chest and shoulders heaving slowly with each breath. Nicolo’s mouth goes crooked watching him.

“She doesn’t attack still targets,” he advises, amused, lying still atop the sand.

“Like a lioness!” Yusuf agrees with a zest Nicolo lost about thirteen minutes ago. He pulls himself onto both knees and balances on them, wavering in a way that makes Nicolo want to give him a steadying hand. “Hm.” Yusuf braces a hand on his thigh, face scrunching up in consideration. “No. I don’t think so.”

And then he plops, face first, back to the sand. Nicolo gives him an encouraging pat on the back with his knuckles.

“Are you two giving up?” Andromache calls over. Nicolo cranes his head up again to see that Quynh is on the ground yet again, slowly stumbling to her feet, and Andromache stands with her back to her, facing them. Her hands are on her hips.

“Yes. Thank you for checking in!” Nicolo confirms, lifting a hand to give her a thumbs up. Andromache responds to the sass with a raised eyebrow before whirling around and punching Quynh in the stomach before the younger immortal could sneak up on her.

Quynh goes down for the-- who knows how many times now, and Nicolo drops his head. He squints up at the wavering blue lines of the sky until Andromache’s white robes cross his vision, casting a shadow over his and Yusuf’s resting forms.

“Get up,” Andromache insists, nudging Nicolo with her boot. “I’m not done with you two yet.”

“You can’t make us,” Yusuf grumbles into the sand.

“You bet I can’t?” Andromache threatens, more a tease than a promise. When neither of them reply, she rolls her eyes and says, with a less than gentle kick to Yusuf’s side, “You babies are so soft.”

Yusuf hisses, rolling away from Andromache’s boot, into Nicolo’s side. “Son of a whore, Andromache, knock it off,” he grouches, dropping his shoulder atop Nicolo’s. Nicolo grunts with the weight of it. “Or daughter of a whore, that is,” he corrects himself, then adds thoughtfully, “No offense to your mother, if she were a woman of the night. What did your mother do, Andromache?”

Andromache laughs at Yusuf’s meandering insult-- a posturing bluster of a laugh that makes Nicolo blink, wondering if Yusuf’s actually offended her somehow. If so this would be the first time; Nicolo has always known Andromache to be thicker skinned than a mule.

But then she says, “I don’t remember my mother. Who knows,” and turns and heads back over to Quynh, who’s only just recovered from before. They resume sparring, Nicolo watching them with mild confusion.

Nicolo turns to look at Yusuf, wondering if he’d caught onto Andromache’s discomfort, but when Nicolo catches his eye, he just shrugs his shoulder against the sand and says, “Well, that’s a line that’ll end an argument every time, eh?”

Later on, Nicolo is still considering it, sprawled in front of the fire --that Quynh had constructed a couple hours prior-- with Yusuf, Nicolo slouched against his chest and bracketed by his bent knees. Andromache and Quynh are arguing over the linen tent a little ways off, and Nicolo watches Andromache carefully, the lines on her face and the muscles in her arms, the working parts of her that have existed on this earth for thousands of years. The things her hands have done; the things her eyes have seen.

The things her heart has forgotten.

“You are thinking very loudly over there,” Yusuf says from somewhere over Nicolo’s head. Nicolo shifts his eyes from Andromache and Qyunh, to the fire, to his and Yusuf’s legs stretched out before it. He tilts his head back, the top of his head against Yusuf’s sternum, but all he can see from that angle is Yusuf’s beard, so he drops his head back down with a little amused huff.

“Andromache is very old,” Nicolo says slowly.

“Ah, yes,” Yusuf agrees, amiable. “Also: water is very wet, and the desert is very hot.”

“S’cold at night,” Nicolo grumbles, just to be contrary, and is rewarded by Yusuf slipping his arms under Nicolo’s, bundling him closer to his chest and notching his chin over his head.

“What’s wrong, Nico?”

Nicolo requires no further prompting, not from Yusuf at least. The words come tumbling out of his mouth, one at a time. “She doesn’t remember her mother.”

There’s little more that needs to be said there. The immortal life is one that comes with many downsides, and the nature of it is that sometimes one discovers these downsides centuries later than expected. This isn’t the first time an unexpected side-effect of their unending lives has been thrust upon him and Yusuf, and likely won’t be the last.

Nicolo had never really thought he might one day forget his mother.

Yusuf hums thoughtfully in response, a non-answer that does little to soothe Nicolo. “That she doesn’t,” he adds after a moment. “What was your mother like?”

“I don’t--” Nicolo starts, and then, with an odd curiosity, realizes he’s having difficulty continuing. “I... didn’t know her very long. I was given to the church… very young. I don’t remember much of what she was like, other than that she was my mother.”

“Do you remember what she looked like?”

“Well…”

Nicolo remembers little of his life before the clergy. Two brothers. A sister. His father’s stern brow, and the calluses on his mother’s hand as she took his little fingers in hers, leading him down the dirt paths back in Genova. Her smile, silhouetted by the heady red glow of the afternoon sun.

“Brown hair,” Nicolo eventually answers. “Dark eyebrows. High cheekbones, too, and… and kind eyes.”

“What I’m hearing is you took after her very strongly.”

Nicolo smiles. “I do remember being told something of the sort before.”

“Her eyes?” Joe rests one of his palms flat against Nicolo’s stomach.

“Green, I’m pretty sure.”

“So you took after her very strongly, then,” Joe concludes.

Nicolo looks down, fiddling with the fingers of Joe’s free hand. “She used to take me to the shore. We’d gather seashells together.”

That he remembers well, plucking seashells and bits of coral out from dried seafoam after the tide had gone out near the end of the day, one arm bundling conch and clam shells against his chest, the other prying washed-up shells from the still wet sand. The sun would be low, but not low enough that they would feel the need to rush, and it would cast their shadows in long, blue lines across the beach. Time was an endless thing there, where the sun glowed red and bright, and there was always another conch shell wedged in the damp earth to dig up.

“She sounds lovely,” Yusuf hums. Nicolo pauses, tracing Yusuf’s index finger with his own. Yusuf almost never talks about his family. They have known each other for nearly three hundred years now, and yet Nicolo could store all the things he knows of Yusuf's family in a basket. Over the years he’s been able to piece together that both of Yusuf’s parents were dead before the Crusades began. And that they both died when Yusuf was fairly young. Beyond that… he knows little.

“Yusuf…” Nicolo starts, uncertain and fidgeting. “What about your mother?”

“My mother?” Yusuf repeats, as if Nicolo has somehow strung together two incomprehensible words.

“Yes.” When a pause stretches between them, Nicolo sighs and laces his fingers between Yusuf’s. “You don’t need to tell me.”

“No, no,” Yusuf insists before Nicolo can change the topic. He returns Nicolo’s grip on his hands, smoothing his thumb over the knuckle of Nicolo’s pointer finger. “I want to. My mother…” He sighs. “She was very anxious. Always fretting. She was a weaver; she liked making rugs.”

Yusuf’s thumb stills over Nicolo’s knuckle. Nicolo tilts his head. “Your prayer mat. Did she--?

“Yeah, she made it.” Yusuf pauses again. “Weaving calmed her down when she was nervous. My father and I, we would travel often-- business, you know. Trade deals and things. Mother always worried when we were gone.”

They both pause when Quynh yells something particularly loud at Andromache, breaking the moment for a split second. Andromache hollers something back, and the two women break out into abrupt laughter.

“Are you worried you’ll forget her?” Nicolo asks when they've settled again. “Your mother?”

“No,” Yusuf replies, though he trails off halfway through the word. “In part, I suppose… but there are many things I’d like to forget, I think.”

Nicolo peels himself out of Yusuf’s arms in response to that, twisting around to look at his companion. Yusuf’s brows are pressed together, the tilt of his mouth sad. Nicolo places a hand to his chest, fingers against Yusuf’s collar. “Yusuf?”

Yusuf sucks the inside of his cheek, looking far away before directing a sad smile at Nicolo. “She came with us, once. On a trip. Of course the one time Father allowed her to come was the time that it went wrong.” At Nicolo’s questioning look, Yusuf elaborates, “Bandits.”

“Yusuf...”

“I hadn’t really known how to fight, then, so it didn’t… really matter, either way-- but I got knocked out in the fight, and by the time I woke up again, it was all over.” With a slow breath, Yusuf looks down at their interwoven fingers. “I would like to forget some things. Not her, but…”

It takes Yusuf a long moment to continue. He looks up, towards the stars, lips pursed with thought, before eventually ducking his head again. Nicolo waits quietly.

“It is hard to remember them,” Yusuf says eventually, to their hands, “without remembering them in death. I had to bury them both.”

With a soft noise, Nicolo reaches forward and pulls Yusuf into a hug, arms wrapping about his shoulders; Yusuf responds in chorus and reaches for Nicolo back, his embrace tight enough to grind bone.

Nicolo rubs a hand up and down Yusuf’s back, his face tucked into Nicolo’s shoulder. Perturbed, Nicolo can’t imagine it- the comforting memory of his own mother, crossed and tainted by violence so cruelly. To lose her was enough. To lose the comfort of remembering her as well would be harrowing.

Yusuf pulls away first after some time, eyes red but dry, mouth turned down. Nicolo reaches up and thumbs at the crease between his brows, which quirks Yusuf’s lips ever so slightly.

“How old were you?” Nicolo asks.

Yusuf reaches up and takes Nicolo’s hand from his face, wrapping his fingers around his. “Twenty one.”

“A child.”

“Hardly, Nico,” Yusuf snorts softly. Nicolo disagrees, but he’s not going to start an argument over it. Not now.

With a sigh, Yusuf leans back against the rock formation behind them, wrapping an arm around Nicolo and tugging him sideways against his chest. Nicolo rests his head against Yusuf's shoulder.

“It’s not that I wish to forget her. Or my father. But I… would rather fondly remember the idea of them, the fragments, then remember them perfectly in death. That might make me selfish.”

“It does not,” Nicolo replies sternly. “It makes perfect sense to feel that way, Yusuf.” And then, “I’m sorry.” Yusuf only hums in response. It is, admittedly, a frail sentiment, so Nicolo adds, “I love you. In case you’ve forgotten.”

This earns him a huff against the top of his head. “I love you too,” Yusuf responds, and they fall into an easy silence.

After a few minutes, and with a great sigh, Yusuf tilts his head so that his cheek presses against Nicolo’s hair. “Nicolo…” he mumbles, hesitant, “I don’t mean to ruin the moment, but... I think we’re sleeping under the stars tonight.”

Nicolo lifts his head and twists around to find the half-assembled and frankly pathetic looking tent swaying off in the distance alone, with both Andromache and Quynh nowhere in sight.

“The consolidated wisdom of millenia,” Nicolo grumbles, dropping his head back against Yusuf. “And they still can’t assemble a tent.”

Yusuf laughs; Nicolo is by far more warmed by that than any comfort the damned tent could have offered.

Quynh has the little joke of hers whenever they go drinking. She’ll tell Yusuf, giggling into her tankard, “I miss when you didn’t drink!”

This is a joke because Yusuf gave up his abstinence of alcohol only a few months after he and Nicolo had met Quynh and Andromache, nearly two hundred years ago now, and when he’d announced his decision to do so to the two warrior women, they’d both admitted they didn’t even realize that he didn’t drink in the first place.

Nearly two hundred years later, Quynh continues to make this joke. Nicolo has yet to find it funny, but Yusuf laughs every time.

“It’s our anniversary, Quynh, you must be nice to us!” Yusuf insists in response to said joke. He is, as Andromache might say, drunk off his ass, swaying happily in his seat at the musty bar they’ve settled in for the night to celebrate. Despite how loudly he’s speaking, Nicolo can barely hear him over the clatter and bustle and chatter of the other, varyingly drunk, patrons at the bar.

“Three hundred years is nothing, Yusuf. You’re still babies,” Andromache replies, equally smashed yet bearing it more stoically, pitched against Quynh’s shoulder. One of her hands is still curled loosely around her tankard, unwilling to give it up just yet, probably.

Nicolo leans back against his rickety chair. “Do you two remember when you only knew each other for three hundred years?”

In response to this, Andromache pulls back from Quynh’s shoulder, propping herself up on the edge of a table with her free hand. She tilts her head, staring silently at Quynh with a quirked mouth, and Quynh stares back, eyebrows raised high. Nicolo’s gaze flicks between the two warrior women, eyeing them both, studying the emotion in their eyes and their mouths and their brows.

For nearly an entire minute they say nothing. They have no need to. The charged gaze between them could write entire epics; legions of words pass between them and neither woman even opens her mouth.

Nicolo finds himself slightly jealous. He wonders if he and Yusuf will ever hit a point such as this, where they could communicate without words, know each other so well that even a twitch of the brow or a press of lips could mean so much-- that words become irrelevant. Become small and useless compared to the years of their bond.

“It was a time,” Quynh answers at last, smiling a far away smile.

“That’s different,” Yusuf interrupts, slurring slightly and grinning widely. “because, this isn’t about how long you two have known each other, but how long I’ve known Nicolo,” here, he gestures broadly at Nicolo, sitting at his side, “and when you two will have known Nicolo for three hundred years, and-- and want to celebrate, I will not laugh at your paltry few years spent with him, in comparison to my many centuries! And you may-- may thank me for my generosity and kindness-- then.”

Quynh snorts. “That was very poetic of you, Yusuf.”

“Thank you.” Yusuf places a calloused hand atop Nicolo’s head. “I love him very much,” he states, very sincerely, if a little slurred.

Andromache, as always, seems to feel a compulsion to try and ruin the moment. Their Andromache, old and wise as she is, is a great many things: an elegant warrior, a stern protector, and a graceful leader-- however, a kind drunk she is not. “You know, you’ll get tired of each other eventually,” she points out, gesturing between the two of them. Yusuf rolls his eyes, his hand slipping from Nicolo’s head. “Quynh and I usually separate every couple hundred years for a time. It’s normal.”

“Bah,” Yusuf grumbles. ��Andromache, you do not have a romantic bone in your body.”

“I do!” Andromache insists. Quynh sends her a sharp look that she doesn’t see because she’s too busy waving her hand widely. “I have been with, and wooed, and have been wooed by-- by more men and women than you’ve ever even set eyes on.”

Yusuf copies Andromache’s grand gesture, cheery and mocking. “That, what you’ve just described, is the opposite of romance, boss.”

“Whatever,” Andromache concedes with middling grace. “I’m happy for you two, either way.”

“Thank you,” Nicolo says, so that Yusuf won't say anything else. “Another round?”

“She doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” Yusuf says to Nicolo an hour or so later, as Nicolo is trying to haul the damned drunk up the stairs without sending them both sprawling down to their temporary deaths.

Funnily enough, around the time Yusuf began drinking, Nicolo stopped-- not out of any particular thoughts on alcohol itself, but because someone had to remain sober in order to drag Yusuf’s drunken ass back to their room at the end of the night, and the responsibility fell to Nicolo for all of the obvious reasons, and also because he was happy to do it.

“Who?” Nicolo asks, steadying a hand on Yusuf’s shoulder when he sways at the top dangerously.

“Andromache,” Yusuf replies. Nicolo’s not sure what exactly Yusuf thinks she was wrong about-- they’d discussed many topics at the bar downstairs-- but he might succeed in having this conversation more so if Andromache and Quynh weren’t standing no less than five feet away, hovering just inside their room’s open door down the hall, stripping down to their tunics and trousers.

Probably standing by in case Nicolo and Yusuf took an unfortunate tumble down the stairs. Nicolo is warmed by their concern, but Yusuf is too busy being drunkenly confused by Andromache’s presence after she calls over an “about what?” to think of such things.

“Where did you come from?” Yusuf asks Andromache, only going half willingly when Nicolo rolls his eyes and drags him down the hall.

“Thank you, good night,” Nicolo tells the two women as they pass their door and head down the hall to theirs, floorboards creaking under their boots.

“Have a nice anniversary, infants!” Andromach calls after they manage to stumble to their door, sticking her head out of theirs.

Nicolo fiddles with the key the barkeep gave him, trying desperately to ignore Yusuf when he yells back, “Us infants will try not to fuck so loud you can hear it all the way down there!” probably scarring some of the tenants.

“I bet you can’t!” Andromache responds, gleeful, and ducks back inside to slam the door shut.

“Is that a fucking challenge?” Yusuf asks the empty hallway, going easily when Nicolo drags him inside.

It’s a humble room, but the presence of four walls and a floor makes it good enough for Nicolo, and the bed is only an added bonus. He leaves Yusuf to his own devices as he lights the lantern set in the corner, double checking that their bags --that they’d tossed in the room earlier-- haven’t been stolen. He nudges the bags with a toe as he unlatches his longsword from his belt, propping the sheath up carefully by the little table with the lantern.

Yusuf is being oddly quiet; Nicolo turns to find the love of his life lying starfished on the little bed, peering up at the wood ceiling as if the secrets of the universe are engraved on it.

“I am so tired, Nicolo,” Yusuf mumbles, mournful. “Why did you make me go up all those stairs?”

“I am infamously known to be cruel and unfair,” Nicolo replies dryly, crossing over and sitting next to Yusuf. He unbuckles the straps around Yusuf’s shoulders that keep his scimitar attached to his back while Yusuf lies still. When the task is done, he looks up to find Yusuf staring at him, brows drawn together. “Lean up,” Nicolo orders softly, and Yusuf complies without complaint, shifting his shoulders off the bed just enough that Nicolo can pull his sheath off.

He stands to go retrieve his own sword, so that both can be placed at their bedside, within reach, shucking off his boots as he goes.

“Can you grab my bag for me?” Yusuf asks from the bed while Nicolo is doing so, so Nicolo does, balancing the two sheathed swords under one arm and holding Yusuf’s rucksack in the other.

He drops the bag at Yusuf's side and sits beside it, setting both swords at his feet, on the left side of the bed. Usually Yusuf’s scimitar goes on the other side, but Nicolo does not trust him with access to a sharp object in this state.

Yusuf sits up to shuffle through his bag. “I got you something,” he tells Nicolo when he straightens. Nicolo frowns at him.

“You got me something?” he repeats.

“Yeah.” Yusuf pulls out his sketchbook, though he doesn't grab his bag of charcoals.

But I didn’t get you anything, is something Nicolo almost wants to say, but honestly, three hundred years into a relationship, you stop keeping track of how many gifts have been exchanged and when. Especially when their finances are so intertwined. Nicolo and Yusuf simply buy each other things whenever the urge arises, and they’re both such men that these gifts are usually just practical items: new boots, a thicker cloak, and so on.

But now Yusuf passes Nicolo his sketchbook, turning back to the bag to buckle it closed again.

“A sketchbook,” Nicolo muses with a smile, rubbing a thumb over the bound leather cover. “You shouldn't have.”

“Oh, stop,” Yusuf grumbles, snatching the book back once his bag is closed. He shoves it off the bed with a mildly worrying clank and sits in its vacated spot, next to Nicolo. “Your jokes will make you look a fool when you are crying tears of gratitude on me.”

Nicolo smiles. Yusuf’s thigh, pressed against Nicolo’s, is warm, and his shoulder knocks against Nicolo’s with such familiarity Nicolo wonders if he could identify Yusuf from that alone; without sight, without hearing. He thinks he could, given the opportunity.

Yusuf flips through his sketchbook quickly, scanning past images of landscapes and crowded marketplaces and Nicolo’s own smiling face until he stops at a certain page, angling the book away so that Nicolo cannot see. He peers sideways at him, suspicious or maybe anticipatory.

“Do you expect me to start the tears of gratitude now, or…?” Nicolo asks, grinning at Yusuf’s unamused stare before Yusuf shoves the book into Nicolo’s open hands.

Nicolo doesn’t understand what he’s looking at, at first. Not that he doesn’t recognize the image; he does, he just doesn’t... understand.

“How…?” Nicolo asks, trailing off in wonder. He lifts a hand to touch the image, then snatches his hand away, afraid he’ll smear it.

It’s his mother.

He doesn’t understand how Yusuf could do this; drawing his mother is one thing, but the accuracy of the drawing to Nicolo’s memory is astounding. The line of her cheekbones and the crinkles of her crows feet, the shape of her eyes set by happiness. The drift of hair over her shoulder is a little longer than his mother had it, and a little straighter, but other than that it is an almost perfect recreation. Down to the curl of her mouth, the small flash of teeth. Nicolo can practically hear her in the image, her eyebrows raised and surprised joy flashing in her eyes, as she says, “That’s a big one, Nicolo, good job!”

“How did you do this?” Nicolo asks, voice small.

“Do you remember when you told me what she looked like?” Yusuf asks. “When we were talking about Andromache’s mother?”

“Yes, I remember,” Nicolo replies, frustrated. “I told you she had brown hair and green eyes. Yusuf, how did you--” He peels his eyes off of the drawing that sends him straight to his childhood. “You even got her smile right.”

Yusuf presses his lips together in a fond little smirk. “I will tell you, but you must agree not to share my secret.”

“Yusuf.”

Yusuf scoots that much closer, tucking a hand under Nicolo’s jaw, thumb smoothing over his cheek. “I know how she smiles because I know how you smile. Because she’s your mother. And she lives in you, even if she’s been dead three hundred years. Even if you forget her to some small degree, she will stay with you. Here--” Yusuf touches the corner of Nicolo’s mouth. “And here--” His pointer swipes over Nicolo’s cheekbone. “And here.” He presses a thumb under Nicolo’s eye, and it comes away wet. He makes a small noise. “I was kidding about the tears of gratitude, Nico.”

The sketchbook almost falls off of Nicolo’s thighs in his urgency to pull Yusuf into a hug.

Yusuf returns the embrace with a huffing little laugh, arms wrapping around Nicolo’s waist and hauling him in close, the sketchbook folding closed between the press of their bodies, the beat of their hearts against each other.

“Thank you, Yusuf,” Nicolo murmurs into the crook of Yusuf’s neck, endlessly sincere. His fingers hook into Yusuf’s tunic, over his back, already pulled tight by the muscles there.

“Happy anniversary,” Yusuf responds cheerily. “To three hundred years, eh?”

“And three hundred more,” Nicolo reminds him.

“Fuck, Nicolo.” Yusuf leans back, hands lingering at his waist. He catches Nicolo’s eyes, his brows pulled together. “To three thousand more; Andromache doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

Nicolo frowns, recalling Yusuf saying something of the sort in the hall. “What did she say?”

“What did she say?” Yusuf repeats thoughtfully. “I don’t remember-- some nonsense about us getting tired of each other.”

“Oh.” Nicolo does remember that. “I don’t think she meant it like that, Yusuf. And after all, she is rather the authority on how the relationships of immortals work.”

“The authority!” Yusuf repeats, mocking. “When Andromache kills a man with her bare hands and comes out the other side of the experience loving him, I will give her credence to the idea that she’s an authority over our relationship.”

“I didn’t say she was an authority over us. Just that she may understand better.”

“What, do you think she’s right?” Yusuf’s brow furrows, voice lowering. “That we shall grow tired of each other?”

“No,” Nicolo immediately insists, his desire to assure Yusuf strong and instinctual. He lets his hand slide to his shoulder, gripping there. “At least,” he admits on second thought, “I’ve never once felt anything to give me the impression that I will. But it may happen, Yusuf.”

To be completely honest, Nicolo can’t imagine such a thing. He’s woken up every morning for the past three hundred years of his life at Yusuf’s side, and he can’t even begin to understand what kind of drastic shift in his heart would inspire him to grow tired or restless of doing so. Of Yusuf’s hands, of his voice, of his glittering eyes and his loud, joyful laugh-- and the way he furrows his brow when he’s thoughtful, like he’s doing at Nicolo right now.

“Because Andromache says so? I think not,” Yusuf argues. “Andromache is wise, but she’s known us barely more than a hundred years. Her experience does not allow her to see to your heart, or to mine. I will love you forever, Nicolo.”

“Forever is a long time, Yusuf,” Nicolo responds, smiling.

“Well, I will,” Yusuf insists. “When we are twice as old as Andromache is today, and the memories of our childhoods, and our warring, and even our three hundred year anniversary will be nothing but dust, I will remember loving you with certainty-- and that will be because I’ll have done it every day of my life.”

Yusuf shrugs and presses closer, bowing his forehead to Nicolo’s. “And if we forget every bad time and every good time with it,” he murmurs, looking down, “I will not care; it will all wash away in the sands of time eventually, but I have no intent to be separated from you. I won't let memory or time or violence take you from me. I don’t care what Andromache says. The only thing that will end us is your word, Nicolo.”

Amused, Nicolo lets out a throaty little huh. “You will be waiting a long time for that, Yusuf. Maybe even forever.”

Yusuf grins at that, eyes flicking up, and Nicolo has that split second thought he always has --you’re hiding dimples under all that beard-- before Yusuf tilts his head up and kisses him, leaning forward with all the drunken weight of his body.

Nicolo catches Yusuf’s jaw in his hand, shoulders bunching up as he shifts so that Yusuf doesn't topple them both; tilts his head and grips Yusuf’s shoulder and kisses him back.

It is not, admittedly, their best kiss. But Nicolo’s found over the years that a kiss with Yusuf is a kiss with Yusuf, which is to say no matter how much their teeth clack or their mouths miss their mark, it is still Yusuf, so none of them are actually bad.

And Nicolo is distracted. Yusuf is one to spew pretty words whenever the mood takes him, but his aptitude for the spoken word even in the worst --or most drunken-- of times always catches Nicolo off guard; even three hundred years into their relationship.

Every day of my life, Yusuf had said, and Nicolo finds himself giddy and weightless at the idea. Every day of our lives, Nicolo thinks to himself, unable to fight off a smile as Yusuf pulls him in closer, a hand at his neck. Every day.

It is a fair while later --after Nicolo has pried Yusuf’s boots off, after the lantern light was blown out, and after they are both under the admittedly threadbare blanket-- that Nicolo lies propped up on his elbows on his side of the bed, admiring the drawing of his mother by moonlight. Yusuf lies on his back beside Nicolo, either asleep or drifting, arm thrown over his eyes and mouth pulled into a frown.

“Are you going to sleep tonight?” Yusuf asks groggily after some time, revealing himself to be awake. “Or must I compete with my own drawing for your attention?”

“You made a mistake giving me this,” Nicolo replies, closing the sketchbook and leaning over to set it carefully on the floor. “I will do nothing but admire it for eternity.”

With a huff, he settles under the blanket, facing Yusuf, crossing his arms to his chest. Yusuf responds with only a smile, and after the silence stretches for a moment, Nicolo adds, “I wish I could give you such peace in regards to your own mother.”

Yusuf drops the arm from his face, squinting sideways at Nicolo. “Pfft. You have already brought me more peace than any other living being on this earth. Give making me the happiest man alive a rest for a few minutes, Nicolo; you’ll give yourself a complex.” He rolls onto his side. “But also roll over. What are you doing lying all the way over there, anyways?”

“Giving myself a complex, apparently,” Nicolo grumbles, doing as he’s told and shuffling onto his side. Yusuf throws an arm over him from behind, snuggling forward and pulling Nicolo back in unison until they are pressed against each other, shoulders to thighs.

“I am being truthful,” Yusuf murmurs after a moment, low and intimate and close, tired words slurring into each other. He yawns before butting his forehead gently against the back of Nicolo’s neck. “My mother-- I have many good memories of her, and some bad. I would like to forget some and cherish others, but in the end I will likely lose all or most of ‘em, as Andromache has. That’s just the truth of it all.” He yawns again, shifting his grip on Nicolo. “I could draw her if I wish, but I don’t know if even a thousand drawings will ease her memory. And losing memories is a simple trade-off of the life we live, even if we didn’t choose it. I may not keep my memories, but as long as I can keep you, I am at peace with it all.”

Nicolo considers that, tucking his own hands into his sides. As much as their immortality was not a choice-- it was nothing either Nicolo or Yusuf asked for or even really wanted, three hundred years ago, but it was gifted to them anyway. They didn’t ask for each other either, and yet Yusuf was given to Nicolo and vice versa in the same breath that their immortality was thrust upon them.

But of course, unlike the immortality, and unlike all the other positives and negative consequences that came with it, they did choose each other. They chose to put down their weapons. They chose to stay at each other’s side. They’ve chosen that every single day of the last three hundred years. Hopefully they will do so for the next three hundred -- thousand-- years.

He will lose his memories eventually, one day, one way or another. It is like Yusuf said: it is a simple trade-off of the life they live.

But if it had been a choice-- well. Even the innocent comfort of his mother’s memory, of those late afternoons picking seashells-- those memories are not nothing to him, but if it ever came between keeping them and keeping Yusuf… the choice is obvious.

But there is no choice. The memories will fade one day whether he wants them to or not, whether Yusuf draws a thousand portraits of his mother or not.

Yusuf will not fade. Yusuf will be here. Yusuf has been here, for three hundred years.

Every day of our lives, Nicolo thinks, and smiles.

“You know,” he says quietly into the dark room. “You are a very wise man, Yusuf.”

“Don’t tell Quynh and Andromache,” Yusuf mumbles into Nicolo’s nape. “It will ruin my image.”

Nicolo snorts, smiles, and, eventually, falls asleep in Yusuf’s arms.

#Anonymous #joe x nicky

120 notes · View notes

afishcalledfatin · 4 years

Text

kítrinos - Qian Kun

kitrinos( κίτρινος) - yellow

pairings: professor!Kun x fem student reader

summary: meeting Cyan was either a horrible mistake or a blessing in disguise. In a world where soulmates exist, you were starting to believe that yours didn't exist. Not until, you picked yellow from Cyan's book of colours which transported you to another reality where your soulmate's feelings are shown on you when you share the same emotion. Sharing a rare mark made things easier but theres a catch, both of you won't know until the very last moment. What will happen then?

genre: studentxteacher, fluff, angst

warnings: mentions of death, losing eyesight, arguments, swearing

A/N: Hello lovelies! this is for the colours collab made by @neo-cult-ure i’d like to thank everyone for supporting us and i’d also like to thank the other writers for being so lovely and amazing and just being a great bunch of people. also want to thank @fairielightsss for proof reading this. to be honest, this isnt greatly written. there will be many mistakes so bare with me. so i hope i dont offend anyone and i apologise for any mistakes.

P.S: I recommend listening to this which will give you a good feel on the story. i also recommend watching Howl’s Moving Castle to understand some of the references, but if you haven’t then its okay!

As the sky fades into the night sky, your eyelids begin to droop and the attention towards the song had started to slowly make your head spin. The need to finish practising this piece kept you awake in fear of getting into big trouble with your lecturers. You slap your face in an attempt to make yourself stay awake before preparing to play the piano.

"Are you going to continue torturing yourself or should we head back?" Your best friend, Renjun said while walking into the music studio. You chuckled, "I'm almost done. Wanna wait for me?" You asked. He nodded as he sat on the edge of a table making himself comfortable.

You’ve been practising a song from one of your favourite movies, Howl's Moving Castle but something didn't feel right. Renjun took note that you were taking longer than usual.

"How come you're struggling so much with this song?" Renjun asked. "I'm not saying this in a mean way but I've seen you play,” he said cautiously, not wanting to hurt you with his words. “This song should be easy compared to what you’re used to." He said with a tilt of his head, confusion hinted on his features.

You shrugged while deep in thought, "I know,” you took a deep breath, collecting your thoughts. “I can't explain it but it feels like this piece is missing something." you finally explained.

He nodded at your words. He didn’t say anything more but you knew he wanted to ask more. You began playing the first few notes before Renjun gasped making you falter in your playing, "What if you were Sophie in your past life?” he said with wide eyes, “Better yet, what if you were the Witch of the Waste?" You stared at him with wide eyes holding confusion. "Really, Renjun?" You narrowed your eyes, not liking the way he was messing around.

"Just kidding." he laughed with eyes holding mischief. You broke down your façade and laughed. Shaking your head, you ended the song frustratedly.

"That's it, I'm continuing tomorrow." You sighed and got up, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

"Jaemin asked if you wanted to a sleepover?" You nodded excitedly and Renjun cheered as both of you walked out.

Throughout the walk back, you tried to wrap your brain mind around the question, "Why did that song feel different?" you mumbled to yourself. Beside you, Renjun was questioning your unusually quiet behaviour.

When you were offered to play for the school's annual dinner, you were completely overwhelmed and honoured. They gave you a selection of songs but this song attracted you the most.

Why?

The walk was eerie and quiet, you could feel the cold and sharp air pricking at your skin. Renjun stood close to you when you suddenly heard footsteps behind you.

You turned around and you were greeted by an old lady. You real ed it was a lady named Cyan from when you both met earlier today. She was a funny looking lady who showed you her book of colours. She told you to pick one and you chose yellow. She also mentioned something about a soulmate but you weren't really paying attention.

"Cyan?" You called. The footsteps quickened.

"What are you-"

"I'm sorry, sweetie. Everything will make sense soon." She said hurriedly, cutting you off.

"What do you mean?" She smiled and pulled out a pouch from her pocket, blowing a yellow powder onto you. You waved your hands around to try and stop her while Renjun was beside screaming at the old lady but to no avail, the powder dusted your figure. Next thing you knew, everything went black.

You drummed your fingers across the table, waiting for Jaemin and Renjun to arrive.

You were the only one in the studio and the silence was driving you mad. With a loud sigh and you reached in and grabbed a chocolate bar from your backpack, unwrapping it. Just as you were going to eat it, the door opened.

Low and behold it was your favourite lecturer, Professor Qian or more casually known as Kun. It depends on when you're talking to him. Walking to his table and he places his stuff down before realising you were in the studio.

"I'm hurt Y/N." He starts. You grinned, leaning forward, "Why is that, Kun?"

"Professor Qian in class, missy." He points.

You rolled your eyes and snorted. "Okay, why are you hurt, Professor Qian?" You repeated.

"Well, I come in and the first thing I see is your feet on the table and you’re eating a chocolate bar. And you didn't even bother asking if I wanted some." He wipes a fake tear.

You laughed and jogged to his table, "Aha, but the thing is, sir," you showed the extra bar you brought for him, "I already brought an extra for you." You passed it to him. He chuckled, "Well, won't you look at that. I knew I chose the right favourite student."

You snorted, "The only reason I'm your favourite student is that I'm the only one playing the piano in this class." You stated. “And secondly if I’m not mistaken Professor Qian,” you continued, eyes holding mischief, “Didn’t you say Jisung was your favourite student last week? And Sara about two days ago?” you hummed, a hand on your chin with a pondering look on your face.

He laughed and shook his head, "I'm guilty. I love all of you equally." He raised both his hands defensively. "Ah, I wanna ask you a question." He walked over to the other side of the table, sitting on the edge of it while facing you.

"How would you feel about playing with me?" He suddenly said. You raised a brow.

"Wow, Sir, I didn't know you were that adventurous." You wiggled your brows. Kun furrowed his brows, "What are you- OH MY GOD Y/N NO, NOT LIKE THAT." he said embarrassedly, hiding his face in his hands. You burst out into laughter, clutching your stomach as you saw your teacher getting flustered.

"Geez, Y/N, go clean that brain of yours." He rubbed his temples. You punched his shoulder lightly, sitting next to him on the table.

"Well, you should've worded it better. It's not every day you hear your professor asking to play with him. Anyways, what did you mean by that?" You asked him.

"I meant doing a duet performance with me during the annual dinner." He explained.

"Ahh, I see. What song are we talking about though?" You turned to him.

He rolled up his sleeves and crossed his arms, "I was thinking Merry Go Round Of Life? Y'know the one from Howl's Moving Castle." He sat on the edge of the table.

"I'd love to do it but you could easily do that song alone. Why do you need me?" You asked, genuinely confused. You've seen how Kun plays and it's absolutely amazing. It doesn't make sense why he would need you.

He scratched the back of his neck, "Well, it is a dinner with both the lecturers and students. I thought it would be cool to have us both play. Plus, imagine the power of both of us playing." He bumped your shoulder with his.

"Are you complimenting my skills?" You asked shock painted on your face. He looked quite taken aback, "Y/N, I'm pretty sure I've made it clear that I'm very impressed with your skills since day one."

Ah, first class, you remembered when Kun walked in and he did an evaluation test on all of you.

As both of you walked to class, you were greeted by a squeal. "Renjun! Y/N!" You smiled and ran to Jaemin, giving him a hug.

"How were holidays, babe?" Hewereapped an arm around both of your shoulders.

"It was nice to go back home, my parents kept pestering us on our soulmates though," Renjun informed.

"Have you found yours yet?" You asked Jaemin. He smiled softly, looking at you shyly as he nodded slowly.

You squealed and began jumping with him. "Congratulations, honey!" You hugged him tightly.

"What's she like?" Renjun asked.

"She's so… perfect." he sighed dreamily. You and Renjun began poking fun at him and teasing him.

“What did it feel like?” you asked curiously.

“Not gonna lie, it hurt like a bitch when the mark burnt off but after that everything was amazing,” he explained as you sat in between the two of them.

"What was your colour?" You asked.

"It was grey," he said proudly. Renjun snorted, "What were both of you confused about?" he said shaking his head.

"Well, I was confused about what to order and she was confused about a math question. We suddenly felt the mark stinging and I immediately looked around and there she was, all cute and blushing." He said dreamily.

The door opened and a chill pricked at your skin. You turned around to see an unknown man walking in. You went to sit down with your friends. "I think he's the new lecturer," Jaemin whispered to you.

"Good morning, everyone. You may call me Professor Qian, I'll be teaching you from now on. So let's start shall we?" He said.

You heard the chatter of the girls behind you, "oh, Woah, he's really handsome" You grinned, he really was.

He wore a blue button-down shirt with a pair of brown slacks. His brown locks gelled back nicely. Kun The professor looked around the studio and his nerves calmed down, everyone seemed quite friendly. This was his first time teaching and he worried he would make a bad impression.

"According to Madam Rowena, your previous lecturer, she informed me to do an evaluation test first so that I'll know what level you're all at but I'm pretty sure you're all very advanced, let's start with that." He took out a list from his bag, and he began to read out the names of your classmates.

Everyone had to play a song on their respective instrument. You took note of your classmates looking nervous, trying their best not to mess up.

"Alright, thank you, Ms Seo. Now, Ms Y/L/N?" He looked around.

You raised your hand and walked towards the piano.

"Are you the only pianist?" He suddenly asked you.

"Yes, I am." You said nervously. He nodded, signalling for you to proceed. He continued reading the list, pushing his glasses to sit comfortably on the bridge of his nose. You breathed in, immediately pressing the right keys to Victor’s solo in the Corpse Bride.

His eyes perked up as he watched closely. He watched as you focused on the song and your fingers moved with grace. He could feel the passion wafting off of you as you played. The beautiful tune resonating around the room.

Your classmates watched in awe, they've always enjoyed watching you play. You were the best in the class after all. To everyone, this was a sweet melody that you knew, but it meant so much more than that.

It was a painful memory.

As you hit the last note, your breathing turned rapid. Everything was quiet before everyone began clapping and cheering.

"Thank you, Ms Y/L/N. You may return to your seat." He smiled softly. You nod and return to your seat.

"You surprised him, Y/N," Jaemin whispered as both of you watched Renjun play his flute.

"What do you mean?" You asked quietly.

"Throughout the entire evaluation, he hasn't looked up. Except for when you began playing." he nudged you with his elbow.

"Sure, Jaem. Sure." You rolled your eyes.

"So, do you wanna do it?" He asked. You thought about it again. Your mind weighing the pros and cons before coming to a conclusion, "Sure, plus I get to annoy you even more now." You teased as you walked over to your seat.

"Oh god please protect me from this child." He said out loud.

You were going to counter when Jaemin and Renjun came in, sandwiches in their hands.

"Professor Qian~" Jaemin bowed. "Good morning!" He said cutely.

"Morning, Jaemin, Renjun." He smiled back. Jaemin and Renjun walked up to your usual seats, plopping beside you.

"What were both of you doing alone, huh?" Renjun asked.

"Talking?" You replied.

Jaemin snorted, "Yeah, and I have three legs." He added. You scowled and pinched his arm causing him to yelp. Soon, the class began to fill up and Kun started teaching.

As class ended, you walked up to Kun and sat on the edge of his table. "So, what day are we practising?" You asked. Kun turned around at the sound of your voice, he loosened his tie and slid his hands into his pockets.

"It's up to you, kiddo. The dinner is on the 25th." He said nonchalantly. Your eyes widened and your mouth hung open. "Wait, 25th?" You stuttered. He nodded. "That's not too far away!" You squeaked.

Kun shrugged, "I've seen you master a new song in three days. This is easy for you." He claimed.

"But Kun, this is a performance in front of many people. Not just the class. Plus, I'm going to be playing with you, how are you so sure I'll be able to keep up with you?" You whined.

Kun walked closer to you and patted your head, "You'll be fine and you'll do so amazing. Like usual." He reassured you. Your cheeks warmed, "thanks, Kun." You picked at some dust off your sweater.

"I'll tell you what, we'll practise twice a week. The duration is up to you. We can do it for 20 minutes or 2 hours. I'm okay with anything." You pouted, "Kun, that's not fair on you. I'm pretty sure you're busy as well."

"Y/N, I'm a single male with a cat and several assignments to check. Do I look like I have plans soon?" He joked. You laughed lightly, "How are the guys and Louis, by the way?" You asked.

"They're great. Xuxi recently adopted a puppy named Bella so the house is a bit noisier than usual." He said. You giggled, "Must be fun."

“You should visit someday. The boys really miss you,” he said.

“Sure. how about this Friday?” you asked. He nodded, “Should be fine. Bring Jaemin and Renjun too if you’d like.”

“I’ll inform them then.” you smiled.

You threw your bag over your shoulder, “So, Wednesday?”

He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest, “Yeah. Want me to bring snacks for you?”

You placed a hand over your heart, “You know me so well. Yes please.” you nodded cutely.

He shook his head, “I’ll see you then, yeah?” he waved. You skipped out of the class, nearly smacking face-first into the door.

"Oops…" you nervously turned and ran out.

Kun chuckled, shaking his head. "Clumsy girl." He muttered.

"Nana! Injunnie!" You ran, wrapping your arms around their necks.

"Wanna follow me to Professor Qian's house this Friday? They’ve recently gotten a puppy." You said. They immediately nodded their heads at your suggestion, "sounds great! We'll bring food as well." Jaemin added.

The three of you hung out for lunch, chatting about any new events that seem to catch your ears. "Oh, what were you and Professor Qian talking about?" Renjun sipped on his hot chocolate.

You grinned, "he asked me to perform with him during the dinner." You beamed.

The two boys clapped excitedly, "That's so cool, Y/N!" They both gave you a side hug.

After talking a bit, Jaemin sighed. "I can't believe we're graduating soon." He said sadly.

"I know right? A few more exams and,” you paused, “we're out." It dawned on you that you wouldn't be able to see them all time like usual. You began tearing up at the thought, "Guys,” you said softly, grabbing both the males’ attention, “Promise me we won't drift apart." You sniffled.

Renjun and Jaemin pouted, "Oh baby." Renjun got out of his seat to hug you. Jaemin too soon after.

"We promise. Also, we'll still meet up as much as we can. I don't care if it's once a week or month, I just need to see you guys." Jaemin tugged at his sweater sleeves. Before you could finish your lunch, the three of you were a sobbing mess. You loved the two of them so much, they were your best friends.

You got off your motorbike and sighed before turning the doorknob. You opened the door only to be graced with the familiar sound of to Italian Opera music and the smell of brownies. You tried to sneak upstairs, avoiding getting called.

"Y/N, is that you?" The soft voice asked. You turned slowly, "Yeah, it's me." You stood in the middle of the stairs.

You saw your stepmother walk out the kitchen, cocoa powder on her apron and some flour on her cheek.

"How was your day, dear?" She asked. You shrugged, "It was okay, I guess."

Silence. This was your routine every day for two years. She'd ask how your day was and you'd stand awkwardly.

"I'm gonna head upstairs. I'm tired." You said stuttering between your words, not looking at her.

"Oh, uh yes. Well, there's some brownies on the oven if you'd want me to bring some up?" You shook your head, "It's okay. I'll get them myself." you said politely. Before she could reply you walked into your room, closing the door behind you.

Your mom passed away when you turned 7, so all that was left was you and your dad. For a very long time. Even then, you remember him not really being around for most of your childhood. You were brought up by your grandmother. Though whenever your dad left for business trips, he would never fail to always bring back a gift for you.

However, you didn’t expect him to bring back a woman on your 20th birthday. Anyways, Not wanting to stay for long, so you called Jaemin and asked if it was okay to sleep over and he agreed.

You walked down the stairs, peeking into the kitchen and grabbing a brownie. You saw her sitting in the living room and you’d thought it would be best to just inform her. She noticed your presence and immediately straightened up.

“Uh, I’m gonna sleep over at Jaemin’s.” you awkwardly scuff your feet against the hardwood floor.

She nodded, “Alright then, stay safe.” she smiled. “Your father will be coming back tomorrow afternoon, by the way.”

You nodded, “Ah, okay. Thanks for informing me.” you scratch the back of your neck.

“No problem, Y/N.” she replied.

You head out, starting your motorbike and riding it away from your house. It’s not like you hated her, it’s just hard to accept someone. It doesn’t help that Dad is barely home so things get even more awkward when it’s just the two of you.

Your mom wasn’t there to help you out when you got your first period or for you to talk to when you had your first crush on a boy. The only person who you could talk to about these things was your grandmother who had sadly passed away a year ago. Sometimes, you wish you called her more often to check up on her.

A tear trickled down your cheek, you sighed. “I miss you so much,” you whispered.

Upon arriving at your best friends house, you parked your motorbike and knocked on the door.

“Coming!” you heard Renjun running to the door. “Hello again~” Renjun leaned on the door.

“Hey boo.” you poked his stomach and walked in. “So, what are we going to do tonight?” You asked.

“I would’ve wanted to say drinks but we’re broke so pizza and movies sound good?” Jaemin pointed to the mountain of pillows and boxes of pizza. “It’s perfect.” you beamed.

You changed into the pyjamas you brought and settled into the pillow fort.

“What are we watching?” you asked. Renjun shrugged, “Nana wanted to watch a rom-com.”

Jaemin came crashing down into the pile of pillows. “We’re watching Sensei Kunshu.” he said excitedly, n,t hesitating to press play.

“What’s it about?” you pulled the blanket over your body as you took a slice of pizza.

“It’s about a girl who falls in love with her teacher.” Jaemin chomped onto a breadstick.

Thirty minutes in and you can’t help but hide behind the blankets, you loved the movie so far but you had to admit, you got second-hand embarrassment watching the movie.

“AYUHA, PLEASE,” Renjun screamed at the main character along with some incoherent noises. Frustration dripping from his words.

“I need to pee,” you said as you ran towards the toilet.

As you were walking out, you suddenly felt a buzz, it was Kun. you opened the message to see a document he sent.

“These are the notes for the song! You can try playing it first :)”

You smiled and quickly typed back a response,

Thanks, Kun! I’ll see you soon.”

“What are you smiling about?” Renjun asked he sipped on his drink. “Kun sent me the sheet music for the song we’re going to perform.”

“Ahh, what a fitting movie~,” Jaemin said in a sing-song voice as he wiggled his brows. Your brows knitted, “What?”

Renjun smirked, “You and Professor Qian?” you gasped and plopped in between them.

“No! he’s like an older brother, friend kinda thing.” you tried to explain.

“I like how that was your reason and not simply because he’s our teacher.” Jaemin giggled.

You pinch his arm lightly, “Shut up.” you pout.

“It’s true though, Y/N. everyone in the class agrees.”

“EXCUSE ME, WHAT?” you shrieked.

“Let's put it like this, you guys act as if you’ve been engaged for two years and you live in a studio apartment along with your two cats and you travel around the world to perform at concerts,” Renjun stated.

Jaemin began clapping, “Bravo, my boy, bravo.” he pointed “That’s basically how everyone sees you guys.” he drank his cola. “Also, you can’t deny the fact that he has a soft spot for you. He’s already a genuinely nice guy but when it comes to you, it’s on another level. This performance is basically feeding us and our classmates with good content.”

You sat there and thought about it. Yes, you were much closer to Kun then others but you didn’t know your classmates shipped the two of you.

“Whatever, it’s not gonna happen anyways,” you said whilst shaking your head, silencing the both of them. “Plus, we both have our own soulmates.” you pointed out as you reached out and grabbed a slice of pizza.

Renjun was going to argue until he heard your ringtone.

It was your stepmom.

Your brows furrowed, “Hello?” you started.

“Hey, Y/N, I know you’re at your friends’ house but you might need to come back soon. By tomorrow morning.”

Your brows knitted, Renjun and Jaemin sat next to you, wondering and waiting on you to tell them what’s going on.

“What? Why?” you asked, a tad bit irritated.

“Your father is arriving home sooner than expected.” you groaned internally, “How soon?” you asked.

“I think around 8 in the morning?” you rubbed your face,

“I’ll come back now.” you hung up and slammed your body back onto the pillows.

“Looks like I have to head out, fellas.” you got up and helped them clean up.

“We’re really sorry, Y/N,” they said in unison. You waved them off as you stuffed the last breadstick into your mouth, “It’s okay, guys. Plus, my dad probably wanted to ‘surprise’ us.” you muffled.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, woman.” Jaemin bumped you with his hip.

“Sorry.” you giggle.

After cleaning up, you said goodbye and headed back home.

You carefully got upstairs, she was probably asleep so you didn’t want to wake her up.

You opened the door and plopped onto your bed, turning off the lights and falling fast asleep.

You heard laughter and chatter downstairs as you woke up. You stretched your tired limbs and went down. Your dad was hugging your stepmom and they were just chatting about something.

“Y/N!” he called. You walked down the stairs and greeted him. “Hi, dad.”

He smiled and immediately went for his bag. “Here you go, I got you this.”

Like usual, he’ll hand you the gift before asking anything.

In his hand was a black box with a white ribbon on it. You opened it and smiled, “Thank you.”

“No problem, kiddo. Now, what’s for breakfast?” he turned to your stepmom and held his stomach. They both walked to the kitchen, your father’s hand wrapped around her waist.

In the box was a beautiful, sapphire necklace. You closed the box and walked to the kitchen where your dad was already eating.

She prepared a plate for you, placing it next to your dad.

You sat down and began eating at the hearty breakfast she prepared.

"So, how's school?" He starts. You swallow and face him, "everything's going well, my exams are in a few weeks and then I'll be performing at the annual dinner."

“Wow, really? That’s very exciting!” Lilian praised.

"That's great honey." He says, unimpressed as he checks his phone.

"Do you have a boyfriend yet?" He suddenly asked. You choked on your toast, drinking a bit of water to ease your throat.

"Uh, no." you shook your head, “I’ve been really busy so… yeah.”

“When you do, make sure you bring him for dinner.” he points at you with his fork.

It sucked how you couldn’t talk to your dad like old times. It’s not that you didn’t want to but it seemed like he only cared about work and making sure your grades are absolute perfection.

“How about that Jaemin boy? Or Renjun? They’re from very good families.” he asked. Your stepmom walked behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders, “Sweetie, they’re her friends. Also, you should always wait for your soulmate when the time comes.”

You’re lost for words and you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable.

“Uh, I have to get ready for class.” you shuffled out of your seat.

When you entered your room, you leaned against the door and let out a long sigh.

It's like I don't know you anymore...

Kun sat at the counter, stirring his coffee.

I hope the song works this time, he thought.

Kun furiously pressed at the keys, getting agitated by the silly mistakes he seemed to have made. He was going to reach the end but he accidentally pressed a different note, causing him to groan.

"What's up with you?" Sicheng walked towards his roommate. "You've been at it for 3 hours now." He leaned against Kun's piano in his room.

"Sorry, must've been really noisy huh?" He asked Sicheng apologetically. Sicheng waved him off, "Pft, it's okay. They're much noisier downstairs."

They laughed a little before Sicheng sat next to him. "What seems to be the problem?" He asked Kun.

Kun sighs, "I know this might sound weird but for some reason, this song doesn't feel… complete to me? I don't know how to explain it but it feels like I'm just pressing notes rather than actually feeling the song. I can’t seem to play it at all."

Sicheng's brows knitted, "Have you tried playing with someone?" Sicheng asked.

Kun nodded, "I played it with Johnny, Taeil, Doyoung and all those tries failed as well. I don't know who else to ask." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Okay, c'mon let's try." Kun excitedly nodded at Sicheng's suggestion. Maybe he just needed someone he was a lot closer to.

The song started out smoothly, like usual but then suddenly, both of them played the wrong key.

"Huh…" Sicheng placed his hands on his hips.

"Exactly. It's always there." Kun got up and sat on his bed.

"Maybe… change the song?" Sicheng suggested. Kun shook his head defiantly, "No, there's something about this song and I can't put my finger on it. It's stressing me out. I could easily play that… I just don't know why I can't right now." He ran his fingers through his brown locks.

Sicheng leaned against the piano, "How about playing with your students?" He asked.

"Y/N is the only one who plays the piano right?" He pointed out. "Why don't you try with her?" He smiled.

"Actually… that's not a bad idea." He stood up and paced around the room.

"I'm going to ask her. If the song still fails, I'll change the song."

"Kun? KUN!" he heard the loudest clap ringing in his ears. He turned and saw Yukhei who was pressing Bella to his chest, staring at him worriedly.

"Oh, hey Xuxi. What's up?" He asked, still quite dazed.

"Uh, you're gonna be late for your class, again." He pointed to the clock on the wall.

Kun's eyes widened, he ran out the kitchen, suitcase and keys in hand.

"SHIT, SHIT, SHIT." he repeated as he started his car.

"Kun, your coffee!" Yukhei stood by the doorway with the mug in hand.

Kun waved him off, "You can have it, man." He yelled before speeding off.

Kun ran, making sure he wasn't too late. He kept checking his watch over and over until he bumped into another body.

"Oomph!" The voice squeaked. He turned around and saw Y/N on the floor, rubbing her back.

"Oh thank god it's just you." He breathed.

You scoff, "Are you late, again?" You got up, feeling a bit sore from landing on your butt. "Also, what's that supposed to mean?" You poked at his chest.

"Yes, and it means I won't be awkwardly apologising to some random student I've never met before." He brushed the dust off his pants. "So, I'm sorry and I'll buy you snacks. See you later, byeee!" He said as he ran off to his class.

You shook your head, smiling a little.

"Silly professor."

Your music history class had ended and you stretched your stiff limbs.

"I love music history but Miss Leanne makes it so… miserable." Renjun rubbed his sleepy eyes.

You snicker, "same. I'm pretty sure I nearly dozed off twice." You yawn.

"Y/N, are you coming over later?" Jaemin asked. You shook your head, "I don't think so, bubs. I have practice with Professor Qian and my dad is home so he probably wants to 'spend time' together." You rolled your eyes.

Jaemin pats your back, "He's still at it, huh?"

You nod angrily, "he always complains how I never want to spend time with them but when we do, he's always on his phone leaving me and my stepmom to talk." You rant.

"But you don't talk to your stepmom?" Renjun pointed out.

"Exactly! Do you know how awkward it was? Also, this morning he asked me if I had a boyfriend and told me to date either one of you."

Their eyes widened, "Sweetie, I love you but I'm taken." Jaemin pointed at where his mark once was.

"Yeah, I love you too but you're like a sister to me." Renjun shrugged. "I can't imagine dating you." He admitted.

"THANK YOU! Now, tell my dad that." You groaned.

You checked your wristwatch and it was almost time for practice. You pat both of their shoulders, "I've got practice in a few minutes. Wanna call later?" You asked.

They nodded, "Is it okay if Minseo joins? She's visiting us." Jaemin asked.

You nodded, "of course! Also, tell her I'm really sorry for not being able to meet her properly, I swear after graduation both of us are gonna go on dates without you." You winked.

Jaemin looked incredibly offended, "It's bad enough that both of you gossip about everything. Now, this. I feel so betrayed, my best friend and girlfriend." He grasped his chest, leaning onto Renjun.

"There, there, bud. You have me." Renjun patted his shoulder.

You laughed, walking towards the opposite direction, "I'll talk to you guys later!" You waved and jogged towards the studio.

Walking into the studio, you saw Kun with his eyes shut and earphones in, on his chair with his feet propped on the table.

You giggle softly, walking up towards him and tapping him lightly.

"Professor Qian?" surprisingly, your light tap caused him to wake up in shock.

"Fuck!" He yelled right before falling off his chair. You panicked and quickly helped him up.

"Jeez Y/N, you gave me a heart attack." He uttered.

"Sorry about that." You grinned mischievously. You noticed his face and sluggish movements. "Are you okay? You don't look so well." You commented.

He smiled, "I'm fine. I just haven't had any coffee today so I'm a bit sleepier than usual." Your mouth formed an 'o' until you remembered you had a thermos of coffee.

You pulled out the metal thermos and poured some into the cup. You handed it to him, "Here! I usually give this to Jaemin and Renjun to drink but it won't hurt if you had some." You smiled.

He chuckled, "Thank you, Y/N." He took the small cup and sipped on the warm liquid.

"Ah, just what I needed." A few more sips and he looked a bit more energetic.

"Are you ready for practice?" He asked you. You nod excitedly, "Sir, yes sir!" You salute.

Both of you shared a laugh before heading to the grand piano.

You took out the sheet music you printed earlier and arranged it on the music rack.

"Have you played the song yet?" He asked. You shook your head, "Nope, sorry." You apologised. He bumped his shoulder with yours, "It's okay."

Truthfully, Kun was nervous. He really wanted to play this piece. Why? He had no clue. It just felt right.

He silently prayed it would finally work.

You looked over the notes a few times, processing each bar and note.

"Ready?" He asked. You nod, your eyes not tearing away from the sheet music.

He began playing first and eventually you followed along.

So far so good. He thought

The song began to form a sweet and beautiful melody that resonated around the room. Both hands working together in harmony.

It was reaching the part where Kun would always fail but both of you went through it swiftly, not a mistake in sight. Kun's eyes widened as he couldn't hide his wide smile.

Y/N was too focused on the song to realise her partner's reaction. As the song came to an end, both bodies began breathing heavily, as if they were dancing together.

Kun turned to you with a full-blown smile. "I don't think we'll need that much practice. That was incredible!" He cheered.

You laughed at your professor's cute reaction. "Surprisingly, yes. We did quite well for a first try." You agreed.

Kun couldn't believe it. All this time, he was struggling to play this song alone or with someone else when really all he needed was you.

"This calls for a celebration!" He clapped. He ran out of the studio, stopping by the door "Wait here!" He said excitedly.

You giggled as you watched him run off somewhere. You sat in the studio, looking around and realising that soon, you won't be coming here anymore.

You won't be having music evaluations all the time, or you won't get to play together as a class anymore.

And most importantly, you won't get to see Kun anymore.

Your heart suddenly clenched at the sudden thought, you placed a hand on your chest and rubbed it to ease the tight feeling.

Although Kun was your professor, he has always been more to you.

An older brother? A friend? A guardian angel?

He would always listen to whatever you had to talk about, he basically knew everything about you except for your family situation.

"Snacks for my prized student!" He ran in, bags of different kinds of snacks in hand.

You let out a loud laugh, watching as he ran in.

He sat down on the floor and opened the bags and placed it towards you. "Here you go!"

Both of you began chowing down on the junks and you noticed how it was a bit too quiet for your liking.

"Wanna play 20 questions?" You suggested. He nodded, "sounds good." He popped a chip into his mouth. "You go first." He said.

"Okay… your favourite time of the year?" You asked. He thought about it and snapped his fingers, "I really enjoy the springtime. Everything is in bloom and the weather is just right." He explained.

"Alright, how are you always arriving to class so much earlier than everyone else?" He asked.

You took a piece of popcorn, "Uhm… I just like to get out of my house as fast as possible." You uttered. Kun's playful expression soon changed to a more serious and worried one.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked. You threw a piece of popcorn to him. "That's two questions, sir. My turn first." You joked. He rolled his eyes playfully as he threw a piece of popcorn in the air and catching it with his mouth.

"Your thoughts on soulmates and the process of finding them." You asked.

Kun straightened up. This topic has always been a bit touchy for him and it wasn't because he doesn't believe in it but it's because he can't find his soulmate mark. He's checked every inch of his body and it was nowhere to be seen.

"I think… soulmates are a fascinating concept. Just the thought that there's someone out there for you who will make you feel whole and loved till the end of your days is just so beautiful."

"As for the process, I wish it was easier. I wish it was something more noticeable, y' know?"

You stared at Kun. You've never seen this side of him and you're glad you did. Kun played around with his shoelaces, a simple and cute action.

"Okay, my turn. Same question, why do you like leaving your house early?" He asked.

You sighed, "I promised myself not to drag you into this but since you asked," you breathed out. "My relationship with my dad and step-mom is kind of… awkward." you started.

"You see, it's not like they're mean to me or anything, it's just that I wasn't really close to my dad, to begin with, and he married a lady two years ago and well, it's especially worse whenever he leaves for trips." You explained.

"And whenever I do see my dad, it's always about work. It's really difficult for me to hold a proper conversation with them." you drank a bit of Sprite.

"So, in short, you don't hate them, you're just not close to them…?" He asked. You nodded, "Basically."

"Ah, I see." He continued. "What's your stepmom like?" He asked.

You shrugged, "She's nice and all but I've never experienced a proper mother and daughter relationship so maybe that's why it's a bit hard for me to accept her. The only motherly figure I had was my grandma."

He nodded, "That's understandable but you should give her a chance. Maybe get to know her a bit. She could be a great person." He suggested.

You shrugged, "One day, I'll try." You said. He nodded, “Slowly but surely, Y/N.”

Many questions later and soon both of you were sprawled on the floor, full of junk food.

"I feel so… bloated." You said. He burped, "Yeah." He agreed.

You turned over to face him, "If someone were to pass by, they'd think we're friends and not teacher and student." You joked.

His brows furrowed as he turned to face you, his face slightly closer to yours.

"Aren't we friends though?" He turned to you. You stared into those beautiful, brown eyes and smiled softly.

All this time, you never knew Kun saw you as a friend. You always just thought he saw you as a friendly student but now that he said that, you couldn't help but feel your heart swell.

"Yeah, I guess we are."

You reached home, your body still feeling a little giddy from earlier. You didn't know what it was but the way he stared at you made you feel a certain way.

Before opening the door, you sighed. You began patting your face.

"Y/N, he probably has a soulmate and you have yours. We can't ruin the process just because of some stupid crush you have. C'mon girly, push those feelings aside for now. He's just being friendly." You told yourself.

Walking into the house, you heard the same Italian opera but this time you heard laughter. You walked towards the laughter and saw your father and stepmom slow dancing.

You wanted to leave them to it but you couldn't help but watch. Something about the way your father was softly caressing her hair as she rested her head on his chest made your chest warm a little.

"Oh Y/N!" Your stepmom noticed your presence.

"Uh hi." You waved. Her cheeks were turning a soft shade of pink while your dad couldn't help but laugh.

"No, no, keep going. Don't let me be the reason for you guys to stop. I'll be upstairs." You teased lightly as you walked up. You turned on your computer and waited for Jaemin and Renjun.

"Hey bubs, how was practice?" Renjun asked.

You sigh, a longing looks evident on her face, “It was good."

Kun reached home excitedly, wanting to tell Sicheng about Y/N.

"Dong Sicheng!" He called. Sicheng who was working in the kitchen peeked through the walkway, "Oh hey Kun." He walked towards Kun, keeping his glasses in his pocket.

Kun gave Sicheng a big hug, "it worked, Y/N helped me finish the song." He said. Sicheng smiled and patted Kun's back.

Kun began telling Sicheng about everything that happened and Sicheng noticed how there were crows feet forming at the side of Kun's eyes and how he was smiling so much.

And Kun wasn't just talking about the earlier events but he was talking about how amazing you are, as a person.

Sicheng grinned and thought to himself, for the first time ever, Kun actually likes someone.

"So, he got your snacks after class? That's so nice!" Jaemin pouted.

"I'll buy you snacks, love." Minseo kissed his cheek.

Renjun made a face, "I've never felt more single." He sighed.

You let out a laugh, "It's okay, me too." you reassured Renjun. Jaemin smacked Renjun on the back, “Dude, don’t worry she’s out there somewhere! You just gotta keep hoping and never stop believing” Jaemin gave him a side hug, “Also, here!” he gave a fat kiss on Renjun’s cheek.

“OH MY GOD JAEMIN, WHY?” Renjun screeched. Jaemin grinned, proud of himself, “You needed some love and I gave it.” he said.

Minseo looked at you and you turned to her, shaking your head. “Do you now know what I have to deal with every day?” you pointed. Minseo giggled and nodded, “They are quite a handful.” she agreed.

“You too, Y/N. Don’t give up, be patient, and hope for the best.” Renjun finally pushed Jaemin’s face away and smiled. The corner of your lip raised slightly.

“AND BY THE BEST, HE MEANS PROFESSOR QIAN!” Jaemin pushed Renjun out of the frame.

You groaned and gave yourself a facepalm, “Really, Nana?” you shook your head.

Just as you were going to continue, you heard a faint knock on your door.

“Come in.” you press mute on your mic. Your stepmom walked in with a plate of cookies.

“Hi, dear. I made these earlier. I thought maybe you’d like to try some.” she handed the plate to you. You smiled softly, “Thank you, Lilian.” you thanked her. Her eyes widened and she tried to hide her wide smile.

“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything, okay? Your father had gone to play golf with a few friends.” you chuckled, “What’s new?” you joked and she laughed along.

The door closed and you turned to the screen, Renjun and Jaemin watching you with their eyes widened and mouths hanging.

“Did… did you just have a proper conversation with her?” Renjun asked, clearly shocked. You shrugged, “She came all the way up here to give me cookies, plus, I was just thanking her.” you bit into one and it was absolutely delicious.

Slowly but surely.

“Kun, this part is a bit confusing. Can we try again?” you asked. Kun nodded and the both of you were playing again and again but something was missing.

It wasn’t the same as the first day and both of you knew it. “What are we doing wrong?” you whispered.

“You noticed too, huh?” he asked, sweat trickling down his forehead. You nodded with scrunched brows. “I don’t get it, we were playing just fine the other day.”

You breathed out and looked over the music sheets. “This is the fifth time we tried. What could it be?”

Kun stood behind Y/N and stared at the piano, he was trying to figure out the solution to this.

A sudden knock scared the both of you, “Mr Qian?”, Mr Micheals, the music therapy teacher peeked into the room.

“Oh, Agus, how can I help you?” he turned. Professor Micheals didn’t seem to realise that you were there.

“I actually need you for a few minutes.” he gave Kun a knowing look. Kun’s eyes widened and he nodded, “I’ll be out in a sec,” he told Professor Micheals.

He turned to you and he gave an apologetic look, “Y/N, I’m really sorry-”

“Wait what, no, no you don’t have to apologise. I’ll figure out what’s wrong with the song.” she smiled cutely.

He poked her cheek and grinned, running out of the studio.

She placed a hand on her cheek, at where he touched. The sudden action causing her to smile shyly, internally squealing.

She began to play the song but this time, it was much worse. On the first day, the song felt light and smooth. It was as if you were in the movie and experiencing all the magic. It was as if you were in the flower field with… him.

But today it was empty and it didn’t give you the same feeling. Why did Kun choose this song?

You decided to play a different song, for the time being. The piano solo played by Victor in Corpse Bride, your favourite.

Kun and Agus were going to walk in when he heard Y/N play a different song. She calmly pressed at the keys, the notes probably engraved in her mind.

Kun recognised the song, it was the song that caught his attention on the first day of class. The morning was cold and he was rather sleepy and would rather like to sleep in but alas, he was in the studio, having an evaluation test that was requested by their previous lecturer.

When he first called out Y/N, he didn’t think too much of her. Yes, she was very pretty and the beige overalls she wore on that day were very cute but that was all.

It was no wonder, everyone seemed so excited to watch her play. She was… breathtakingly stunning.

And throughout that entire class, he looked up to see the young student show her talents. He looked around and noticed how engrossed her peers were as she played the song.

He was expecting to hear a classic but till this day, she has never once failed to surprise her.

Kun watched as she played the same song, just like the first time, her expression was sad and you could tell the song meant something to her. But what?

“She really is a talented student. No wonder you chose her to play along with you.” Agus praised as he too watched by the doorway.

“Yeah, she’s incredible.”

There was a small but growing feeling in his heart that maybe, just maybe, Y/N was always meant to play this song with him all along. He didn’t need anyone else. It has always been her.

But his heart sank at the harsh reality that someone better is out there waiting for her.

“So… why did Professor Micheals call you?” you asked. “Did you get into trouble?” you asked seriously.

He shook his head, “Mr Micheals was just informing me of something.” he waved the topic off.

The walk to the parking lot was quiet, you were going to his house with Jaemin and Renjun a bit later.

He walked you to your motorbike and you turned to him, "Thanks for walking me." You thanked him. He nodded, "it's the least I could do since I made you stay back." He said.

You were going to get on but you turned to him. "We'll figure it out. I know we will." You looked at him with determination.

"That's what I like to hear. I'll see you soon, Y/N." He spun on his heel and walked to his car.

You smiled to yourself and wore your jacket and helmet. You made an order this morning at Kun's favourite noodle place across town. He told you he loved going there but he never had time to go. You thought it would be a nice surprise.

You weren't planning on staying home for long, just needed a quick shower and a change of clothes.

"I'm home." You shut the door. Lilian walked in, wiping her hands with a towel.

"Welcome home, dear." She said before massaging her head softly.

You walked towards her, "Are you alright?" You hesitantly asked. She nodded, "Of course, dear." She smiled.

"Are you sure? I have some medicine in my room if you'd like?" You offered. She shook her head, "I'm fine, Y/N. Just a little dizzy."

You nodded, "Where's dad?" You asked. She sighed, "He had to attend a meeting in town."

She looked down at the bags of food in your hands.

She pointed at them, "I'm guessing you're going to Jaemin and Renjun's?" She grinned.

You shook your head, "It's a different friend. He and his housemates recently got a dog and he asked if we'd like to visit." You explained.

She nodded and smiled, "I see. Well, tell the boys I said hi and be safe, okay?" She smiled one last time before turning around to the living room.

You smiled, slowly but surely.

You walked to the kitchen counter and took out the two tupperwares of noodles you got for them. You got your dad's favourite beef noodle soup and potato and beef noodles.

You took a post-it and wrote,

"bought you guys some food! I hope you like them, I might be home a bit late. :))"

You ran to your room and took a quick shower and changed into a black turtleneck and tucked it into a pair of high waisted, beige pants.

You wore the necklace your dad bought for you and let your hair down.

You looked at yourself, pretty proud of the look. Your eyes glanced to your medicine box. You smiled and took out the medicine that has helped you for coughing and headaches. You took your bag and skipped down the stairs. You walked back to the kitchen and placing the medicine on the note.

You grabbed the food and placed it in between your legs as you started your motorbike.

You heard the chatter and laughter outside their house and pressed the doorbell.

The door opened and you were greeted by Yangyang.

"Yangyang!" You squealed as you attacked him in a hug.

"Hey, Y/N! Come on in, Jaemin and Renjun just arrived." You walked in and saw that everyone was preparing the food.

"Everyone, Y/N is here!" Yangyang announced.

Yukhei came running for you, picking you up and twirling you around. You laughed loudly, "Ah, it's good to see you again!" Yukhei gave one last squeeze.

"I haven't seen you guys in so long." You smiled at the noisy but welcoming atmosphere.

Xiaojun came in, Bella in his arms while Louis was playing around Hendery's feet.

You squealed, "Oh my god, she's so small!" Xiaojun handed her to you.

You gave the puppy kisses, earning an adorable whine. You awe and tickled her little round belly.

"Okay, who is ready for some- Woah." Kun walked out of the kitchen, looking at you.

He looked at you and his heart did a few turns.

And the fact that you were being extremely adorable with Bella made it even better.

You turned to Kun and waved at him. He wore a navy collared shirt, loosely tucked into a pair of black pants.

You couldn't help but giggle at the pink mittens he was wearing. You placed Bella down and walked up to him.

"Look what I got for you!" You lifted the bag. He gasped, "But their shop is halfway across town!" His eyes widened.

You nodded, "It's a quick trip if you go by motorbike. Plus, take it as a thank you." You handed it to him.

He raised a brow, "what for?" He asked.

"Well, firstly the snacks and well, for being an amazing teacher and friend." You smiled, giving him a hug.

Before Kun could react, you walked to Renjun and Jaemin who were talking to Xiaojun and Yukhei.

His face warmed and he ran to the kitchen where Sicheng was preparing the plates and cups.

"What's up with you?" Sicheng asked. Kun jumped and shook his head, "Nothing, just a bit warm out there."

Sicheng peeked outside and smirked when he saw Y/N.

"Ah, I see. Well, I'll make sure to decrease the temperature then." He said cheekily as he walked out.

Soon all of you were sitting around the living room and chowing down on all the good food.

"Whoever made this, can I marry you?" You muttered without thinking.

Kun's eyes widened. Sicheng began cackling to the point he was coughing.

"Kun made this! It's his speciality." Ten pointed at the beef and vegetable dish on the table. Your mouth fell and you turned to your two best friends who were holding in their laughter.

"Oh, uhm… it's really good!" You smiled awkwardly.

"Thank you, Y/N." Kun looked down, hiding the now obvious red blush on his face.

It was nice seeing everyone talking, eating and overall enjoying each other's company.

You were currently having a nice cup of coffee with Sicheng talking about random topics.

"How's practice going?" He asked. "It's been okay, I guess."

Sicheng placed his mug down, "oh, you don't sound so pleased." He stated.

You shook your head, "no, no. Everything is good but in our recent practice sessions, the music just doesn't feel right." You explained.

"Y'know when you do something and it's perfect but for some reason, you can't do it ever again? That's what's been going on." Sicheng nodded as you spoke.

"I can tell Kun is getting stressed out by it. He tends to blame himself for it but it's not his fault at all. I don't think I'm the right person for this." You continued.

Sicheng turned and saw Kun playing a board game with Jaemin and Hendery.

He sighed and turned to you, "I don't know if he ever wanted to tell you this but… he's been stressed out over this song even before you played it together."

You tilt your head to the side, "What do you mean?"

"Kun hasn't been able to play this song by himself or with anyone else. It's like a block, he can't pass it no matter what."

"He had played it with a few other people, including myself but it never worked."

"So, when I suggested playing it with you, he wasn't so hopeful at first. It's not because he doesn't believe in you but it's because he genuinely thought he could never play this song. When he came home telling me that you were the right person, he was beyond happy."

"Y/N, you are the right person." He placed a hand on your shoulder.

You parked your motorbike out at the garage and walked in. After the little talk you had with Sicheng, it made you think. Why am I so special? How come it only worked with me?

You walked into the house and stopped dead in your tracks. You spotted Lilian unconscious in the living room.

"Oh my god, Lilian!" You ran to her, dropping your bag on the floor. You began slapping her face lightly, trying to wake her up.

She was still breathing but it was very slow. You quickly called an ambulance. They gave you instructions to try and wake her up but nothing seemed to have worked.

Soon, you heard the sirens outside your house and the paramedics ran in.

"How long has she been unconscious?" They asked. You shook your head, "I-I don't know. I just got back." You stuttered.

They took her out and you follow behind on your motorbike.

She was brought into the ER and you were told to wait outside. You quickly called your dad, freaking out.

"Hello? What's the matter?" Your dad asked, slightly annoyed.

"D-dad… please come to the hospital. Something happened to Lilian."

He was silent before he hung up. You waited and waited and waited. No one has come out to tell you what happened.

Your dad rushed in, looking everywhere.

"Dad!" You ran to him.

For the first time in years, your dad gave you a proper hug.

"Where is she? What happened?" He asked.

"The doctors are still checking up on her." You said.

"Miss Y/N?" You heard someone call you. You turned and pulled your dad with you.

"Yes, that's me." You declared.

"Well, the good news is she's awake. She experienced a sudden drop in her blood pressure. Do you know if she's had that problem before?" The doctor asked.

You shook your head, so did your dad. "Well, it would be best if she stays in the hospital for a while. We would just like to observe her since she's never had this problem before." He informed him.

"Ah, thank you, doctor." You bowed a little.

Your dad turned to you as soon as the doctor left.

"Why didn't you call me sooner?" He asked, pain in his voice.

"I came home and she was already on the floor." You said. Before you explained further, your dad turned you to face him.

"What? You weren't at home?" He asked, his face hardening.

"Well, yeah. I got home and I even bought you guys food. I told her that I was leaving and she told me to stay safe." You explained.

"Was she already different before?" He asked.

"She did complain about a headache but she told me not to worry about it." You added.

Your dad's brows furrowed, "You're telling me you left her alone even when you already noticed she wasn't feeling well?" He raised his voice.

"Y-yes. She said I could go." You tried to reason.

"That doesn't matter, Y/N! That was very irresponsible of you. What would've happened if it was worse, huh? Gosh, you only think of yourself." He yelled.

"I get it, you don't like her but seriously, this bad?!"

Some people were already looking at you. "Dad, please not here. People are staring." You whispered.

"Do I look like I care? How could you do that, Y/N?" He grabbed you by the arm.

Your eyes turned glassy, blurred by the tears. You were angry but also sad at the fact that he somehow twisted it to be your fault.

"You wanna lecture me about being selfish? What about you? You went out to play golf with your friends! You're barely home, to begin with, and when you are you don’t care about us, About me!" You yelled back.

"Don't you ever think about how I feel, huh? You came home on my birthday, suddenly announcing you were getting married again and you didn't even ask if I was okay with that!"

"I don't even feel like I'm at home anymore. I wish grandma was still alive so I could've lived with her instead of being stuck the both of you." You pulled your arm away. "At least, she actually loved me. You could've at least pretended like you actually cared and not just use me to brag to your friends."

"Y/N…" he sounded hurt, maybe a bit regretful but you didn't care.

"No, don't. Just leave me alone. That's what you're good at, right?" You hissed as you ran out of the ER.

You got onto your motorbike, starting it with tears streaming down your face.

"I can't go home." You muttered.

You stopped by a building and called Jaemin.

The number you're trying to reach is currently busy. Please try again.

You pressed Renjun’s number this time and it was the same.

Whose place could you stay at for now?

Then suddenly, the very person you knew you needed the most popped up on your mind.

You pressed his number, silently praying he'd pick up.

"Miss me already?" He answered in a playful manner. You let out a sigh of relief.

"Kun?" Your voice broke a bit.

Kun shifted from his seat. "Y/N… what's wrong?" He asked, noticing the sound of sniffling.

"I… can I come over?" She asked.

"Of course, where are you? I'll come to get you." He stood up.

"N-no, it's okay. I'll be there in a few minutes. I need to get some stuff anyway."

She hung up and Kun immediately ran to the guest room. Hendery and Xiaojun who were up were curious about the noise and checked on Kun.

"Everything okay here?" Hendery asked.

"Y/N's staying over." Was all Kun said as he replaced the bed sheets and pillowcases.

"Wait what? Is that allowed?" Xiaojun asked.

Kun stopped whatever he was doing and thought about it.

"No… it isn't but she sounded like she needs help and I hope you guys are okay with that."

"Oh dude, of course, we are. I'm just worried that it would affect both of you, y' know since she's your student." Xiaojun explained himself.

Kun had forgotten that Y/N was his student. They were both so comfortable with each other, they just sought like close friends.

"Thanks, Xiaojun." He smiled. "And we just have to pray nobody finds out."

Xiaojun and Hendery helped Kun tidy the room up when Sicheng suddenly walked in.

"What's going on?" He asked, clearly confused.

"Y/N is coming." Hendery simply answered as he pulled the bed sheet to straighten it.

Sicheng turned to Kun. "This late?" He crossed his hands over his chest.

"Yeah, seemed pretty serious." He replied.

Sicheng smirked again, "I see, I see. No funny business, now Kun." Sicheng turned around as he walked out.

Wait for what? He paused.

"How did you - oh fuck." He plopped on the bed. Was he that obvious?

Xiaojun cocked his head and turned to Kun, who was really questioning everything.

"No…" Xiaojun covered his mouth. "NO FUCKING WAY!" he said.

"Can you quiet down?" Kun smacked his shoulder.

"THIS MAKES ME WORRY EVEN MORE." he pointed at Kun.

Hendery who was still confused finally caught on. "OH MY GOD, YOU LIKE HER DON'T YOU?" Hendery screamed. "Why didn't you tell us?" He asked as he giggled.

"Because I knew you'd react that way." He sighed as he rubbed his face.

"Whatever, we'll talk about this another time. She'll be here anytime now and-" they froze as the doorbell went off.

Kun pushed Hendery out of the way and ran down the stairs.

He quickly opened the door and his heart dropped.

Y/N's was clearly red and puffy from crying, she had some makeup smudged and she looked like she could barely talk.

Kun pulled her into the house, giving her a tight hug.

This was the second hug they shared in one day. The first one was quick and barely meant anything but this one, was warmth and worry.

"C'mon." He tried to pull away but Y/N pulled him back and wrapped her hands around his waist.

"Wait… a bit longer please." She whispered. Kun sighed and hugged her even tighter.

He placed his chin on the top of her head while she rested her cheek on his warm chest.

She finally pulled away and looked up. "Thank you." Was all she said.

He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, "Anything for you." He smiled.

Both of them walked up to the guest room and Kun let her settle in.

Kun walked into his bedroom, sitting on his bed before finally lying down.

So many thoughts were going through his head but he had to wait for her to open up when she was comfortable enough.

You heard the soft chatter and bustle downstairs and you thought it was best to get up and freshen up a bit.

You looked into the mirror and hissed at your appearance. Your eyes had gotten red and puffy from all that crying. You didn’t even bother washing your face before passing out.

Kun had prepared quite a big breakfast since it was the weekend. Yukhei walked in, still in a robe as he yawned.

“There’s so much food!” he said excitedly. Sicheng drank his tea, “We had a late-night guest and Kun wants her to feel very welcomed.” Sicheng opened the newspapers and crossed his legs.

Kun came behind Sicheng and smacked the back of his head, “Quit it, yeah?” he said with clenched teeth.

“Can’t help it, Kun. It's the first time you’ve ever liked a girl. The best part is that all of us know her.” Hendery defended Sicheng as he grabbed a piece of toast.

“Woah, Woah, Kun likes someone? And we’ve met her? And she’s here?” Yukhei questioned. Hendery nodded and Sicheng smirked.

Kun groaned, “Seriously guys? Stop it, it’s never gonna happen.” he waved his spatula in the air.

“Who is it?” Yukhei whined.

“How are you so sure it will never happen?” Sicheng countered.

“Because she doesn’t feel the same? And it’s wrong in many ways like firstly, I’m her lecturer and two, she probably has a soulmate.”

“Who is it??” Yukhei kept asking, jumping around in his seat.

“How is it wrong if it’s true love?” Hendery replied.

“Because it would be true love if it went both ways. She doesn’t like me like that, now drop. It.” Kun said seriously.

“FOR FUCK SAKE WHO IS THIS GIRL?” Yukhei finally stood up and yelled.

“What’s going on?” they heard a small voice. Yukhei turned around and froze.

He slowly turned to Kun, shock evident in his face. He began stuttering and pointing at Y/N.

Before he could say anything Xiaojun swiftly covered his mouth and pulled him to the kitchen. Kun smiled awkwardly, “Uhm, I’ll go get the rest of the food.” He scratched the back of his neck before running into the kitchen.

Upon Kun’s arrival, Yukhei began to freak out.

“KUN, WHAT THE FUCK?” Lucas nearly screamed before the two other shushed him.

“I know but it’s complicated, okay?” Kun replied back.

“No, I meant WHAT THE FUCK WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SOONER?” he repeatedly smacked Kun on the back.

“How come they got to know before I did?” he asked, slightly offended.

“Wh..what?? You’re mad because of that?” his shoulders drooped. Yukhei nodded, “Yeah man. I always had a feeling that there was something going on between the two of you. Like, have you seen the way both of you interact?”

Kun sighed as he leaned against the counter, “I thought you were disappointed in me.” Kun confessed.

“Why would I be disappointed? I mean, I’m lowkey worried if you get fired but you’re both grown adults, you’re only four years older than her. Plus, what if she was your soulmate?” Yukhei questions.

Kun looked taken aback. If Y/n was his soulmate, he was pretty sure they would’ve realised by now.

“Don’t give me hope,” Kun muttered.

“No, seriously think about it. What if Y/N do like you too but you can’t see it? Stop putting yourself down like that.” Yukhei walked up to Kun and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Thanks, Yukhei but I highly doubt it. Now, c’mon before they get curious.” he walked out.

Y/N bit into the slice of buttered toast and hummed at the warm and melted butter.

“You okay, kiddo?” Sicheng rested his arms on the table.

You shrugged, “I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to go back home for a bit.”

“Hey, it’s okay. Just stay here until you feel ready to go back.”

“Thank you, Sicheng.” you smiled warmly.

Kun finally walked out and this was the most casual you’ve ever seen him. He wore a white sweater paired with black sweats.

“Morning.” he greeted. You smiled, “Morning, Kun.” he took the seat next to yours.

“So, what do you guys usually do on the weekends?” you asked.

Hendery shrugged, “we usually hang out and do our own thing. Sometimes, we go out together.” you nodded, chewing slowly on your toast.

“We weren’t planning on doing much this weekend though. So it might get a bit boring.” Yukhei mentioned.

“It’s alright. I’ll probably play with Bella and Louis if I’m bored.” you smiled.

“You can call Jaemin and Renjun if you like,” Sicheng added.

“Oh no, they’ve gone to Jaemin’s hometown for the weekend. Jaemin wanted to introduce his soulmate to his parents,” you said. “Renjun followed for support.”

The men all awed, “That’s really nice. Tell him we wish him good luck.” Hendery exclaimed.

You began talking with everyone comfortably, smiling and laughing once in a while.

Kun smiled at how perfectly you fit into this situation. Having breakfast with him and his best friends, chatting about, quite sleepily.

And it made him wonder, would life be this great if Y/N stayed in it?

Y/N turned to Kun who was adding his inputs once in a while, chuckling along to whatever joke Yukhei had made. Smiling and shaking his head once in a while with his messy hair and black slippers.

Her mind began to drift into thinking of how nice her life would be if Kun was in it. Not just until graduation but for much, much longer.

You liked him and you were too scared to admit it because you were scared of rejection and being pushed away once someone better comes along in his life.

It was your second week there and you were adamant on paying rent but the boys didn’t allow it. Instead, you pay in the form of doing chores. The boys had stopped you several times but they gave up after realising there was nothing stopping you. You and Kun also continued with practice but you still faced the same problem.

You were currently studying at the dining table when Kun walked downstairs.

“Hey, what are you studying?” he sat next to you.

“Music history and therapy.” you sighed as you looked at him. At this point, both of you were comfortable to the point of cuddling on the sofa while watching movies or him letting you borrow his hoodies.

And to be honest, you don’t want things to change.

“Do you need help?” he asked. You shook your head, “I’m good. Also, Kun can we continue practising later?” you asked.

He hummed, “If you mean tonight, then sure.” he stood up.

You looked at him in confusion, “I actually wanted to practice after studying.” you suggested.

“Ah, no can do, Y/N. we’re all going out.” he grinned.

“Oh, where are we going?” you asked. You got up. He wiggled his eyebrows, “You’ll see~ Just wear something casual.” he walked back up.

“So, nobody is telling me where we’re going?” you asked. Kun shook his head, “Nope! It’s a surprise.” he grinned as he drove.

Yukhei and Ten sat behind, laughing among themselves.

“Do you realise something?” you asked. He hummed, “What?”

“Study week is a week from now,” you said.

He turned to you and nodded, “What about it?”

“It means, I’m gonna be graduating soon,” you added.

“Aren’t you happy about that though?” he smiled. You shrugged and faced the window.

“I don’t know really. I mean, besides studying, I had a great time.” Kun snorted at your previous comment.

“I have two amazing best friends, my classmates weren’t problematic and I have a pretty cool teacher who cares about me alot.”

Kun grinned smugly, “Ah, who is this ‘pretty cool teacher, eh Y/N?” he turned to you.

You thought about it, “Madam Lim, without a doubt.” you joked.

Kun’s face dropped and he began to pout, “Ah, I see. Well, I guess your rant the other day doesn’t mean much to you anymore, huh?” he replied.

You gasped, “Oh no, I’m still mad about her calling me out like that.” you smirked. He rolled his eyes causing both of you to laugh.

“I’m gonna miss you,” you said. Kun’s face soften,

“You can always visit, y’ know? I’m pretty sure you’re an honorary roommate now.”

“Mhm, that’s true,” Yukhei said.

“Definitely.” Ten added.

“Thanks, guys.” you turned behind.

“It’s not gonna be the same y’ know?” you sighed. “I see you almost every day. Even when I don’t have class, I’ll always bump into you.”

He sighed and smiled, “I know, Y/N. I’m gonna miss you and your large appetite.” he took one hand off the steering wheel to pat your head. You giggled, “I like head pats.”

He raised a brow, “You do? Well, I should pat your head more often.” he smiled.

You giggled and shook your head.

You thought about your life after uni. You’ll have to find a job, hopefully, move somewhere.

But the worst of all, you won’t get to see Kun as much as you’d like to. Your heart hurt at the thought. He’s been there for you ever since he came to teach and you couldn't imagine life without him in it.

“We’re here!” Ten points. To your right, you saw bright and colourful lights and your eyes widened. You grabbed his arm, “Are we… at the lantern festival?”

He nodded proudly, “I remembered you told me your grandmother used to bring you but he stopped. I thought it would be nice to bring you.” he chuckled.

“KUN!” you whined cutely, “That’s so sweet. I can’t believe you remembered.” he couldn’t see it but you were blushing like crazy.

Kun rolled up his black sweater sleeves, turned and placed a hand behind your headrest to park.

With the beautiful lights reflecting onto his face, he looked like he jumped out of a romantic drama.

You felt incredibly small when he did that and the only thing going through your head was,

Oh my god, that’s so hot

Ten and Yukhei cheered as they ran out of the car. Kun turned back and unbuckled his seatbelt.

He turned to you and waved his hand in front of your face, “Y/N? We’re here.” he said.

“Huh?” you snapped out of your trance, “Oh, we’re here.” you looked around.

He chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, we are.” Kun opened his door and walked over to yours. He opened the door and held his hand out. You grabbed it and got out.

The other boys waited for both of you.

Sicheng and Yukhei nudged each other, giggling. Kun narrowed his eyes, signalling for them to stop.

“Hey, what’s so funny?” you asked innocently. Sicheng shook his head, “Nothing, Yukhei just pointed at something funny.” Sicheng answered calmly.

Yangyang and Ten were jumping out of excitement, they were already running around and looked around in awe, amazed at the colourful lights.

You walked side by side with Kun, reminiscing the times you walked around with your grandmother.

“I remembered having so much fun and grandma had to chase me around because I would run off without her realising,” you mentioned.

“Ah, your poor grandmother’s kneecaps.” he hissed. You lightly bumped into him, “She was a strong old lady. She’d wack, my dad if she had to.” you chuckled.

“Do you remember the song I played on the first day of class?” you asked.

He nodded, “Yeah, it was from The Corpse Bride right?” he asked

“Yeah, well that was my favourite movie when I was a kid. My grandma taught me that song.” you reminisced.

“Could you believe that was the first-ever song I learnt? She was tough but loving. I basically started playing with songs from movies.”

“But nowadays, I can’t watch that movie without crying. I miss her alot,” you said.

“She would be very proud of you, Y/N.”

“I hope she is.”

You admired the beautiful lights and lanterns. Families and couples were enjoying themselves. Kids were all running around, even Yangyang and Ten.

Kun kept looking at her, “Y/N, do you plan on going back home?” he asked, a bit more serious than usual.

You eyed him, “Planning on kicking me out, sir?” you asked.

“No, I like having you around but… why did you leave, exactly?”

Y/N hasn’t opened up about what had happened and he thought it was best to finally ask.

“Hmm, how about I tell you later when we’re practising?” you sighed, “I’d like to enjoy this.”

“Of course, whenever is fine.” Kun smiled and they continued walking around.

The boys were all pushing and playing around, you and Kun just watched from behind.

“This is really nice.” you breathed in.

“Yeah, it is.”

“Kun, they’re lighting lanterns!” Yangyang called.

“Shall we?” he pointed. You nodded enthusiastically, grabbing his hand and running to the area.

“C’mon, write a wish!” Hendery pointed at the lanterns.

You and Kun paid for your lanterns and began writing.

Everyone began hanging your lanterns on the wall, alongside the hundreds of other lanterns.

“What did you wish for?” he asked. You shook your head, "It won't come true if I tell you, dummy." You teased.

You looked around and sighed, "Sure is beautiful, isn't it?" You smiled softly.

"Yeah, it is."

As your eyes were on the colourful lanterns, his were on you, the entire time.

"Okay, we'll do one round and we'll continue another time, okay?" You offered.

"Sounds good. I'm pretty sleepy, not gonna lie." He yawned.

Both of you sat closely, breathing in and beginning in sync.

Still no changes. You shrugged, "It's okay. We still have more time." You smiled.

He sighed, quite disappointingly.

You nudged him, "I think it's time to tell you about what happened with my parents."

"Well, before the potluck, my stepmom mentioned her having a headache but she told me I could, y' know to go for the potluck anyways. Well, she fainted due to low blood pressure and my dad decided it would be better if he blamed it on me."

Kun's eyebrows furrowed, clearly irritated.

"All I want is to be loved. Yes, I have Jaemin and Renjun but I don't know what familial love is and it sucks because I want to know what it feels like to have a loving family but I don't know what family is…" a tear fell from your face.

Kun immediately pulled you in for a hug, stroking your hair gently.

"Hey... hey. I'm here, I'm here." He whispered.

"My dad was never there for me and my mom passed away before anything happened in my life. I just… I feel so lonely." You said. "Maybe I was destined to be alone forever."

Kun pulled you so you were facing him. He stroked your cheek with his thumb, "Listen to me, you're not alone. You have amazing friends who are willing to do anything for you. And I hope… someone special will come into your life and show you what love and family truly is." He ended.

"Kun, I don't even think I have a soulmate." You coughed.

"What? No, Y/N everyone does. You just need to be patient." He kissed the top of your head lightly.

You sobbed even harder, "I don't even have a soulmate mark, Kun." You admitted.

Kun's heart dropped, he thought he was the only one who couldn't find his mark.

He breathed in and faced you again, "Y/N, did you know that yellow is the rarest colour for soulmates to achieve?" He asked.

You looked up, "What?"

He nodded and hugged you tighter than before. He placed his chin on your head and rubbed your back.

"It is stated that soulmates who get the colour yellow are said to be so perfect, it's impossible to ever separate them because they have achieved true happiness, together with each other. With normal people, you could easily bump into your soulmate on the street and have no idea who they are but with this special group are blessed to have already known their soulmate." He rocked you back and forth.

He looked down and saw that her eyes had shut, sleeping soundly.

He chuckled, "And I wish, you'll meet your soulmate with the colour yellow."

Your exams were going to be for a week, and you were a nervous wreck.

You called Jaemin and Renjun, initially to study but you guys ended up talking.

“Wait, so your soulmate is Jaemin’s childhood neighbour?” you giggled.

“Yeah! We both got red.”

“Red? What were you arguing about?” you asked.

“You won’t believe it, they were fighting over peaches.” jaemin sighed.

“In my defence, she took the ripest one just as I was going to pick it.”

“Only you, Renjun. Only you.” you chuckled.

Jaemin went quiet for a while, his brows furrowing as he looked at you.

"Y/N, where are you?" Jaemin asked. "We've been calling since a few weeks ago and I know for a fact that’s, not your room."

You suck in a breath, "I never mentioned it huh?" You asked nervously.

"Mentioned what, exactly?" Renjun asked. "Bubs, where are you?" He asked, a bit more worried.

"Well, I'm obviously not home because I, uh had a fight with my dad and I'm actually at… kunzhouseh." You mumble at the end.

"What?" Jaemin asked.

"I'm… at kunshouse." You mumbled again.

"Speak louder, woman!" Renjun yelled.

"I’M STAYING AT KUN'S HOUSE!" you finally said.

"WHAT?!" they both said in unison.

"Well, you guys weren't home and well, he was the only person I could think of." You said softly.

"How long have you been staying there?" Jaemin asked.

"...I think we're about to reach a month." You replied.

The two of them looked at you and began screaming.

"AND WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL US THIS?"

"YOU'VE BEEN FULFILLING OUR SHIP AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL US?"

"Guys, calm down!" You panicked.

"HUSH, TELL US EVERYTHING. RIGHT NOW."

You were going to explain your situation when you heard a knock.

"Come in!" You said.

Kun peeked through the door, "Hey, it's dinner time." He said, walking towards your bed.

"Oh my god, is that Professor Qian?" Jaemin asked.

Kun popped up into the screen and waved, "Hey guys." He greeted them.

The two of them were trying their best not to scream and waved back.

"I'll see you downstairs, yeah?" He tapped your shoulder.

"Will do." You replied meekly.

At the sound of the door shutting the two of them began fanboying ridiculously, "I can't believe it, it's actually happening." Renjun panted.

"Whatever, I'll talk to you guys later." You pressed the hang-up button and went down for dinner.

You were washing the plates when you felt someone poke your side. "Shouldn't you be studying?" Kun asked. "Let me do the dishes." He said.

"No, no. You already prepared dinner. It's the least I could do." You said.

"We'll do it together, okay?" He bumped your hip to the side.

"I'll soap, you rinse?" He suggested. You hum and continued washing it quietly.

You suddenly chuckled at a thought.

"What is it?" He asked.

You shook your head, giggling "It's nothing."

“C’mon, tell me.” he bumped his hip with yours.

“I was just thinking of when we started getting close,” you told him.

“Miss Y/L/N, I’m pretty sure that’s the last thing any of your lecturers would like to see.” he stared at the girl who was lying down on the floor of the studio. Y/N jumped at the sudden voice.

“Sorry, sir. I was just listening to a song I wanted to play.” you sat up and pulled your earphones off.

“What song is it?” Kun asked, walking to his desk and putting on his glasses.

“Just some song from a movie.” you packed your satchel and looped it around your body.

He rolled his eyes, “Miss Y/L/N, I would’ve expected a classic from you. It’s a better practice than some… meaningless soundtrack.” he pushed his glasses to sit on the bridge of his nose comfortably.

“Really?” you smirked, slightly taken aback.

“Of course. You’re smart enough to know that you should master the classics first.”

You walked to his table and cocked your head to the side, “I think you’re wrong.” you stated confidently.

“Pardon?” he furrowed his brows and took off his glasses.

“Music is so broad and different, it’s not fair that we only pay attention to one type of genre.”

You replied.

“I’m merely teaching you what my teachers thought me.” he leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Okay, sir. New lesson, what’s the meaning behind this song?” you jogged to the piano and began playing Fur Elise.

Kun was surprised to hear you play it so professionally.

“So?” you asked.

“Well, it means you don’t need that much practice anymore,” he remarked.

You gave him a look and he raised his hands in defence.

“The song was thought to be written for Therese, a woman that Beethoven wanted to marry in 1810, however, his handwriting was misspelt undergoing transcription, allowing the piece to be known as Fur Elise rather the Fur Therese,” he said cooly.

“Okay, so that’s what you learned right?” you asked.

“Where are you going with this, Miss Y/L/N?” he rubbed his face.

“Now, what’s a movie you watched recently?” you asked.

He thought about it, “How to train your dragon, the second one to be exact.”

You scrunched your eyebrows, “Wow, I didn’t think you liked watching cartoons.” you said.

“My housemates wanted to watch it,” he answered.

“Ah, well perfect actually.”

You began playing For the Dancing and Dreaming, the song Stoik and Valka sang together.

You played the song with two hands, making it sound sweeter than ever.

“That’s the song Stoik sang to Valka. Their wedding song,” he said.

You nodded, “Yes, and what did you remember about this song?” you asked.

“That he promised to love her for eternity.” he finally said. “I really have no idea what you’re doing.”

“Professor, don’t you realise something? Fur Elise was about a man who wrote a song about a girl, who was his student. She declined his proposal and didn’t end up marrying her.”

“But For the Dancing and Dreaming was about a couple who promised their loyalty and love even after they part. Stoic never stopped loving Valka till the end. Both songs had deep meanings behind them and they both had a similar theme. Love. ”

“So, yes maybe classics is what you were thought but why keep it there? What’s so wrong about starting fresh and learning something different? To say that soundtracks are meaningless is quite wrong, the songs usually reflect the stories of the characters.” you smiled at the end.

Kun was speechless, all his life he never delved into playing songs besides the ones he was thought or songs from ages ago. He looked at the student across from him, how did she manage to open his eyes so quickly.

“For a second-year student, you’re very wise,” he admitted.

You shrugged, “I just never understood why we had to keep it the same for so long. Change isn’t always bad, y’ know.”

The following week, Kun was handing out different sheet music to the students.

Everyone’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, he had given a piece from Beauty and The Beast.

“How about we change things up a bit, huh?” he smiled at everyone, his eyes especially focusing on you.

“I’m guessing the talk we had stuck with you, huh?” you walked to his desk after class. He arranged some papers, “Yeah, it did. I guess I wanted my lecturers to do the same but they were to old school to change anything. I’m glad you opened my eyes, Miss Y/L/N.” he bowed his head slightly.

“No problem, Mr Qian. and also, you can call me Y/N. I don’t particularly like my last name.” you admitted.

He nodded and raised his hand, “Well, thanks for the talk, Y/N.” your name rolling off his tongue smoothly.

You grinned, “No problem Mr Qian Kun.” his eyes widened,

“How do you know my first name?” the corner of his mouth raised.

“I heard the Dean call you that. Nice name by the way.” you complimented.

“Can I call you Kun?” you asked. He looked quite surprised at your question.

“I… I guess?” he stuttered.

“Great, well nice talking to you Kun!” you turned around.

“Only outside of class!” he commented. You nodded and waved at him from the back.

“You still never listen to me, huh?” he stated.

“What do you mean?” you laughed. He elbowed you gently, “I meant by you always sit with your feet on the table and you call me Kun in class anyways.” he said.

You chuckled, “Yes, I’m guilty.” you confessed. Both of you shared a moment of laughter.

“It’s only with you, though.” you smiled as you rinsed the cup he passed to you.

He soaped the last spoon and handed to you, “What do you mean by that?” he asked, with a raised brow and a curious smile.

“I only sit around like that when it’s only your class and I only call you by your first name.” you took the spoon from him.

“Really? Wow, I should’ve been stricter with you.” he teased. You shook your head and rolled your eyes playfully, “No, I didn’t mean that you weren’t serious enough. I meant…”

“I like you, Kun.”

Kun’s playful manner vanished and he was now facing you, “What?”

“Not as a friend or a teacher. I like you, like alot for a while now.”

Kun’s heart was beating faster than he could ever imagine. She likes him too?

“And I know you might reject me but-” before you could continue, Kun gave you a quick peck on the lip.

You were so shocked about what happened, you instantly froze. Kun pulled back and scratched the back of his neck, “Me too, Y/N. Me too.” he admitted.

You giggled and smiled, you quickly wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him again, a bit longer this time.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” you whispered. Kun smiled and wrapped an arm around your waist while the other hand, held the back of your neck

It felt so natural to be in his arms, to be this close and it felt so perfect.

The next morning, you woke up and got out of bed. As you walked out of the room, you bumped into him.

He looked down and smiled, "Morning, lovely.” he greeted as he pushed a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Mm, good morning.” you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting on his chest.

“How did you sleep?” he asked, placing his hands on your shoulders.

“Like a baby.” you scrunch your nose. He chuckled when you heard a cough behind you.

“Well, I guess we can say that it’s finally official. We’ll see you downstairs.” Yukhei said, pulling along a speechless Yangyang and Ten.

You blushed as Kun wrapped his arms around your head, hiding you from his roommates.

You walked to class excitedly. Today, Kun decided to leave early so that he can drive both of you to uni without anyone catching you.

He yawned loudly, and you giggled. “I’m proud of you for coming early,” you said. He nodded sleepily, “I wanted to take a drive with you.” he smiled.

“And I appreciate the gesture.” you gave him a kiss on the cheek.

You reached the studio and ran to the piano, “Hey, how about a short practice?” you asked.

He agreed and you pulled him to the piano.

You began playing and sadly, still no luck.

You nudged him, “Just ignore it, we’ll be fine.” you leaned your head on his shoulder. He smiled and gently patted your head.

Kun continued yawning and you chuckled, “I’m going to grab a coffee. Do you want one?” you asked. He nodded, “that would be lovely, thank you.”

“Be right back!” you kissed him on the lip and ran out.

You were thinking of how great things were and you prayed they never change.

When you walked back to class, you heard someone else in the class.

You stood outside, not wanting to interrupt.

“Kun, he wants you in Slovenia by the end of the month. I can’t negotiate anymore.” it was Professor Micheals. "If we postpone it, you'll lose this."

“Agus, please. Just by graduation. I promised my students I’ll see them graduate.” he begged.

“Kun, You agreed to resign this job so you could have your own concerts. This is the one time you’re ever getting an offer like this and you’re pushing it away?” he raised his voice.

"I'm not sure I even want to do this anymore." He admitted.

"You can't be fucking serious…" Professor Micheals groaned.

"I found someone and I'm not ready to leave her. I won't do that to her."

"Well, you better figure out if you'd rather pick love or your dreams. Time is running out, Kun. You must hurry."

your heart dropped, and your mind was filled with different thoughts.

He’s leaving?

The class went by and Kun mentioned a few things for the exams before class ended.

Everyone thanked him before leaving class.

"Y/N!" He called.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked, noticing how quiet you went after coming back.

"Uh, yeah. I just don't feel too great." You said.

"Oh no, do you want me to send you home? It'll only take a few minutes." He grabbed your hands.

"No, no. I'll take a cab or something. Your students are much more important." You let go and turned.

"Oh, well if you need anything please tell me." He reminded.

That's strange, She was fine this morning, what happened? He thought.

Kun couldn't wait to get home and snuggle with Y/N.

He was overjoyed when he realised she shared the same feelings as him.

But for now, he'll take it slow and give her all the love she deserved.

He unlocked the door and walked to the kitchen. To his surprise, Y/N was on her phone while eating something.

He hugged her from behind which spooked her a bit.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He kissed the top of her head.

"It's not a problem." You smiled. Kun stayed in the same position when he noticed what Y/N was looking at.

Apartments in the area

"Why are you looking for apartments?" He asked.

"Well, I'm going to have to move out one day. Might as well get ready soon." You replied. Kun let go of you and sat next to you.

"But you can stay here. Especially since we're… yknow?" He pointed out.

You turned to him, your face slightly guilty.

"Kun… I heard what you were talking about with Mr Micheals." You admitted, avoiding eye contact.

It all dawned on him, that's why she was so quiet.

"Ah…" he furrowed his brows. "How much did you hear?" He asked.

You got up and walked to the sink, "That you'll have to move to Slovenia by the end of the month." You said.

He stood behind you, "Princess, please understand, I'm trying my best to push the date." He reasoned.

"Kun, I do understand. Which is why I'm telling you to go." You said.

Kun stared at you, "What? Y/N, no I'm not gonna leave you. I won't be able to come back for a long time." He said.

"Kun, that's not fair on you! Maybe I'll be happy but what about you? What if things don't work out and you totally missed your chance at being an international musician?" You said.

"Kun, I'm not saying we have to end whatever this is just cause you're moving but if it does happen, at least I know you fulfilled your dreams." You reasoned.

"What's the use of doing it if you're not there with me? What dream if you're not in it?" He said, his voice broke.

"Kun, are you hearing yourself? Don't risk things for me!" you raised your voice.

"But I want to! I want to love you and show your love in so many ways. Don't talk about ending it please." He begged.

"Kun, we both know we can't avoid that. like you said to me, you'll have someone out there, far better than me." Tears fell, covering your cheeks.

"Why do you make it sound like you don't want to be with me?" He asked tears on the verge of falling.

"I do! I really do and it breaks my heart knowing that you've worked so hard for this but you're giving it up for me!"

"Then don't tell me to go, not yet."

"Kun…" you whined. He got up, his back facing you.

"No… we're going to talk about this later. We're both frustrated and I don't want to argue." Kun finally said as he walked out of the kitchen.

You fell to the floor, hugging your knees. You didn't know what to do to get through him.

I don't want to be the reason you won't get to fulfil your dreams.

You finished the paper and handed it to Mr Micheals who smiled at you.

You walked out of the class and sighed. That was your last paper of the week. You smiled, relief washing over you.

You also haven't spoken to Kun for a week. He kept pushing the idea of having a soulmate, why won't he accept that he is out there as well?

You walked out of campus when suddenly you heard your name. You turned and sucked in a breath.

It was Lilian. "Y/N, hey." She walked towards you.

"Oh, Lilian. Hi, uh what are you doing here?" You asked.

Well, aint this awkward?

"I wanted to talk to you. Y'know, since you've been gone for almost two months." She stated.

You scatch the back of your neck, "Yeah… I'm really sorry about that."

"No, no. I wanted to ask you why it happened. I don't want to just hear your father's side of the story, that won’t be fair." She said.

She held your hand, "Shall we?" She asked.

You nodded and followed her.

You were awkwardly drinking your tea when she came back to the gable with two slices of cake.

"Here you go. Now, how are you?" She asked.

All this time, Lilian has always paid a lot of attention to you because she actually cared. She didn't completely ignore you after marrying your dad. She made an effort to get to know you.

"I'm…" you were going to lie but your face betrayed you.

"I don't think I'm fine." You admitted. Her face instantly changed to a worried one.

"Oh my dear, what happened?"

You breathed in and told her everything that has happened. She listened to everything closely, not interrupting you at all.

She held your hand and squeezed it gently.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry you had to go through that." She apologised. "You didn't deserve that and your father was being very unfair." She said.

The shock was evident on your face, "Wait… you're not going to side with him?" You asked.

She shook her head, "Your father may be my soulmate but that doesn't mean I have to side with him for everything." She sipped on her coffee.

Your eyes widened and you choked on your tea. "Wh-what? You're dad's soulmate?"

She placed the cup down, "Honey, I thought you knew? That's why we got married so quickly." She passed a tissue to you.

You shook your head, "I'm not close enough with him to tell me anything." You played with the sleeves of your sweater.

You sat down quietly, it made so much more sense now. All this time, you thought she married him for his money.

But you also realised that your mom wasn't his soulmate.

"So, my mom…?" Lilian knew where you were heading and she shook your head.

"I should've let your father tell you this but since I'm not sure when you’re going to see him again."

"As much as your father adored your mother, she wasn't his soulmate. Your mother's father helped your father with his business and in return, he asked for him to marry his daughter."

You breathed out, head spinning a bit. All this time, you thought your mother and father were so deeply in love but in actual fact, they weren't.

And your mother died too early in her life to meet her actual soulmate.

"What's it like? To have a soulmate?" You asked her.

She thought about it and smiled, "Well, you feel… complete. You'll realise that you'll bring the best out of each other and only want to support them and their dreams." At the sound of that, your face fell.

Kun wasn't your soulmate and you didn't understand why he was so against leaving you for his dreams. He has a soulmate waiting for him somewhere and he was ready to risk everything… for you.

No, you couldn't let this happen. You had to leave the house, you had to leave him.

You reached home quickly after meeting Lilian. So far, everyone wasn't back from work yet and you thought that it was the best time to pack up.

Thankfully, you didn't bring alot of things with you so packing was a breeze.

Once everything was in your backpack, you looked over at the empty room that you stayed in. It was a simple room but you found so much joy and love staying in this house.

You suddenly heard a bit of noise downstairs. You froze, scared that it was Kun. You walked out to see Sicheng walking up the stairs.

He hadn't realised your presence so when he saw you he jumped a bit.

"Oh, it's just you." He smiled. But his face fell as soon as he noticed the empty and clean room.

"Y/N, what are you doing?" He asked wearily. You sighed and gave him a hug.

"Don't tell Kun." You whispered. He knew what was happening.

"Why?" He asked. You sighed, "I don't want to do this either. I love staying here with all of you but if me leaving is what it takes for him to go to Slovenia then I'll do it."

"Y/N, i don't think you realise how incredibly selfish this sounds."

You scoff, "How? I want him to do what he wants and suddenly I'm the selfish one?" You raised your voice.

"No Y/N, you're being selfish by leaving without even settling the topic with him." He replied. "Do you think he's going to be fine after all this happens? You're the first girl he's ever loved and how do you think he's going to feel when he realises you’re not home and that you left without even saying anything."

You paused before continuing, "Kun… loves me?" You asked.

"Of course he does! Have you not realised how much he cared for you? Y/N he was willing to give up everything after the two of you got together. Did you think you could hide it? All of us could see the love between the two of you."

You massaged your temples, "Sicheng, you do realise if you stop me from leaving, Kun won't ever be able to leave for Slovenia." You said.

"No, there are other ways you could do this. You don't have to leave him."

"You were going to leave?" A sudden voice scared the both of you.

There he was, eyebags forming under his eyes.

"You were going to leave… without saying goodbye?" He walked closer to you.

"Kun…"

"No, I want to know why you thought that would've been a good idea?" He asked, his voice bouncing off the walls.

"You said you wouldn't leave me so the only way for you to go was if-"

"If you left me?" He asked, his voice showing hurt.

You nodded, too embarrassed to look at him.

"For fuck sake." He sighed, before pulling your hand into your room and shutting the door behind him.

"I swear, they'll be the death of me." Sicheng sighed as he walked into his room.

"We are going to sit in here until we figure out a solution." He said.

"Kun this isn't just because I want you to go. You have a soulmate out there and what if she was in Slovenia, huh?" You asked.

"Y/N, I don't have a soulmate!" He yelled. "Do I look like I have a mark?.\" He yelled.

"W-what?" You stuttered. "You don't have a mark too?"

He sat beside you and held your hands, "Y/N, you make me so happy and I can't imagine life without you."

"But Kun, I can't be happy knowing that you didn't go to Slovenia because of me."

"Then I'll go. We'll do long distance, I'll do everything to make sure we're happy. Just, don't end it please." He hugged you, his head on your shoulder.

You hugged him back, "i won't. Kun, thank you." You said.

"Anything for you. I'm not gonna leave you, ever."

It was the night before Kun's departure and everyone wasn’t feeling too great.

The once lively and happy house had quiet down and had gone grey.

"Guys, this is too depressing for a farewell party." He joked.

"We can't help it. You leaving for a few years wasn't part of the contract of being friends." Yangyang replied.

Everyone snickered at the young man.

He stood up and raised his glass, "I'd like to propose a toast." He said.

"Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone for their support and love all this time. You guys mean the world to me and I wouldn't be able to go without your support."

"Secondly, I'd like to thank Y/N for coming into my life and causing chaos in it." He teased.

You narrowed your eyes and shook your head.

"In all seriousness, I thought I'd never meet someone so talented, caring and well, different. I'm glad you're here." He held your hand and kissed the back of it.

The guys all made kissy noises, Renjun and Jaemin were a sobbing mess.

At that moment, everything felt right. Everything in life was perfect.

He laid down beside you, both of just looking at each other.

“Who knew this would happen,” you whispered.

“I guess fate was kind to us and led us to each other.” he kissed your nose.

You snuggled closer, your face pressed against his chest.

“I don’t want things to change,” you said.

“And it won’t. I promise.”

“Passport?” you asked.

“Yeap.”

“Coat?”

“In my carry on.”

“Phone?”

“Yes, Y/N. now stop worrying.” he chuckled as he kissed the top of your head.

‘I’ll call you whenever I’m free.” he said.

“Don’t worry, make sure you settle in properly then you call me,” you said.

Kun turned to his friends and gave them all big hugs. “I’m gonna miss you guys.”

“We’ll miss you too,” Sicheng said.

“Kun, can you get me chocolates when you go to Belgium?” Ten asked. Everyone laughed, shaking their heads.

He gave you one last hug before walking away.

You turned around when you heard running behind you and when you turned around, Kun pulled you by the waist and gave you a kiss.

The boys all turned away to give you two a little privacy.

He kissed you on your forehead, “I’m gonna miss you, Y/N.” he said.

“I’m gonna miss you too,” you said.

He had walked over to check-in, waving at you all before leaving.

You had your arm looped around Xiaojun and Yangyang when you saw a familiar face.

If you didn't look properly, you wouldn't have been able to recognize him.

“Y/N?”

“Hi, dad.”

The cafe was quiet and small, you sat across from your father awkwardly.

“So, you're going for another trip?” you asked.

He nodded, “Yeah, I’ll be in Japan for some business.” he stated.

“What about you? What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I was sending off a friend,” you replied.

“Is Lilian at home?” you asked. He shook his head, “She’s staying at her sister’s house for a while.”

“Ah, I see.” you nod.

“Y/N?” he called.

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry… for everything.” he bowed his head.

“What?” you wouldn't believe what you were hearing. Your father has never apologised for anything before. Seeing him so vulnerable and sad was so foreign, you didn’t know how to react.

“I wasn't there for you when you needed a dad. I never realised how selfish i was. I thought marrying Lilian was a good idea because you would finally have a mother and you would be happy. I never thought it would create an even bigger gap between us. I’m really sorry i never thought of how you felt.”

“I used to not understand why you always wanted to go to grandmas but then I realised it was because of me. I never became a good father,” he said.

You remained silent, you had no idea what to say or do. You walked over to his side and gave him a short hug.

“Thank you. Thank you for that,” you whispered. He hugged you back, a bit tighter.

“I’ll do my best to be a better father.”

After meeting dad, you got a text from Kun.

Just boarded! I’ll text you when I arrive :)

You smiled and quickly typed,

Have a safe flight! Make sure to get some rest, I’ll talk to you soon.

You took a cab to Renjun and Jaemin’s house. They wanted to celebrate finishing exams and they even brought along their soulmates for you to meet.

The door opened and you were greeted by Minseo.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” she said excitedly, “it’s so nice to finally meet you, in person!” she laughed.

You giggled and waved, “Is everyone here?” you asked, she nodded, “Yeah, we were waiting for you.”

At the sound of your voice, Jaemin came running out of the kitchen.

“Hey, bubs!” he gave you a hug. “Did you just come back from the airport?” he asked.

You nodded, “yeah, Kun’s plane just took off.” you informed.

“Who would’ve known the both of you would get together? Oh yeah, us!” Renjun rested his arm on Jaemin’s shoulder.

“Ha-ha, very funny,” you replied sarcastically.

“But I’m happy and it seems like alot of things are good in life right now,” you answered.

It’s been a few weeks since Kun left and he hasn’t had enough time to call you. With the time difference especially, you couldn’t find the right time to talk to him.

Even his messages were getting shorter and shorter. You sat at the piano in his room and played the song you were going to play with him.

You weren't sure if he was going to even attend graduation and you took the initiative to learn the song as a solo piece.

Sicheng walked in and saw you practising, “Hey, kiddo.” he sat beside you.

“Hi, Sicheng.” you smiled weakly.

“Still no calls?” he asked. You shook your head, “He’s probably really busy. That’s why i’m learning how to play this song alone.” you pointed.

He nods, “That’s good. Well, we’re going to start dinner soon. So, come down when you’re done.”

“Okay, see you later.” you waved.

It was two nights before graduation and it was pretty obvious he wasn’t coming back. He hasn’t even answered any of your messages.

You were slowly losing hope as you laid in your bed, thinking of him.

“Y/N! Can you come down for a sec?” Yukhei called. You begrudgingly went down. You heard chatter before a bunch of shushing.

“What is it?” you rubbed your eyes.

The boys all grinned excitedly, “Well, y’ know how you told us you were going to just wear something you already owned for the dinner?” Xiaojun asked.

“Yes?” you eyed them. “Well, guess whose boyfriend just sent us this?” Hendery pulled a big white box from behind him.

“Wh-what? Kun sent this?” you pointed at the box. All of them nodded excitedly, “Straight from Paris!” Ten remarked.

You smiled happily, knowing that he still does think about you.

You took the box and opened the box slowly.

You let out a loud gasp, you pulled the gorgeous blue dress by its straps.

It was a beautiful flowy gown with a plunging neckline.

Attached to the dress was a note,

You can’t play Merry Go Round of Life without dressing like Sophie, my dear. It's a bit more modern but I hope you love it, Y/N. I'll return soon, I promise.

You sighed dreamily, smiling like an idiot.

“Well, go on and try it!” Ten pushed you to the stairs.

You ran up excitedly and quickly wore the dress. You gasped and awed at its beauty.

The glitter in the dress shined so beautifully and it fits you perfectly. You're surprised Kun knew your size so well. You looked at yourself and squealed.

“Y/N, come down here!” Sicheng called.

You walked out of your room and posed dramatically at the top of the stairs.

“OHHH, LOOK AT HER!” They all praised and hyped you up. You did another pose and screamed.

“It’s beautiful!” you jumped. The boys all gave you a group hug, squealing and jumping together.

“Just dye your hair grey and we’ll be done!” Yangyang said as he showed the box of silver hair dye he bought.

Everyone paused and turned to you, “Wait what?” you asked.“When did he even buy that?” Xiaojun whispered to Yukhei. Yukhei shrugged and walked up to Yangyang, he pushed the box of dye slowly.

“Why don’t we bring her to the salon? Seriously, I don’t trust us to do that,” he said.

“I mean, I think it’s a good idea. It would be nice to change things up a bit.” you sat in between Xiaojun and Sicheng.

“Actually, my friend Darcie used to work at a salon. I could ask her to come over?” Ten suggested.

“That’s actually not a bad idea. Yeah, we’ll go buy the other stuff that she needs and we’ll just do it here,” you said.

“Sounds good! I’ll go call her.” Ten got up and went to make the phone call.

You sighed, “I can’t believe I’m graduating in two days.” you said. “I wish he was here though,” you admitted.

Sicheng wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “There, there. We’ll be there to cheer you on.” he smiled. “Jaemin bought the tickets for us the other day.”

“Thank you, guys.”

“Good news! Darcie’s coming and she has all the equipment at her house. She’ll be coming in an hour.” he declared openly

The guys all waited in the living room, waiting for you and Darcie to finish.

They all instantly got up when they heard the toilet door open.

“Let me introduce to you, the new Y/N!” Darcie announced.

You walked out of the toilet shyly, smiling nervously.

Darcie had done an amazing job, instead of dying your whole head silver, she added silver highlights instead.

The boys gasped, covering their mouths.

“YOU LOOK STUNNING!” Yukhei lifted you up and twirled you around.

“Darcie, you really outdid yourself.” Ten fist-bumped Darcie.

“Let’s take a picture!” Xiaojun took out his Polaroid camera. He set up the camera on the table and all of you posed.

You looked at the picture and smiled fondly, everything was going great in life.

On the day of graduation, you sat at your vanity, curling your hair. Jaemin and Renjun walked in along with Minseo and with Ae Cha, Renjun’s soulmate.

“Hey, Y/N we’re he- OH MY GOD!” Jaemin screamed. “Your hair!” Renjun pushed Jaemin out of the way and gasped.

“Yeah, I wanted to change it a bit.” you chuckled nervously. Minseo came running and she squealed, “YOU LOOK GORGEOUS!” She praised.

“Thank you! You look amazing, Minseo.” you hugged her.

Behind Renjun, you saw another figure. You walked towards her, “You must be Ae Cha! I’m Y/N.” you extended your hand and smile warmly.

She shyly shook your hand, “Hi, nice to meet you.”

All of you spoke for a while when suddenly you heard a knock on the door.

“Y/N, we should be heading out,” Sicheng said. Sicheng wore a navy suit with silver detailing.

“Don’t you look handsome!” you praised. He blushed, “I tried.” he said bashfully.

You sat in the car with Sicheng, Yukhei and Ten who wore their best suits. Ten wore a grey suit while yukhei wore a maroon suit with a floral shirt underneath.

“Are your parents coming?” Yukhei asked. You shook your head, “Dad’s trip got extended and Lilian had to take care of her mom. They did call me earlier though, it was nice.” you told them.

When you reached the ballroom of the university, you were amazed at how they managed to decorate it that well. Everyone definitely wore their best dresses and suits.

You found the table you were all sitting in, you sat down in between Xiaojun and Hendery.

You were just about to have a conversation with Xiaojun when your classmate tapped your shoulder.

“Y/N, you're the first performance after the speech. They need you backstage,” she informed you.

Your face fell, everyone at the table began cheering you on. You kind of received stares but you followed your classmate nervously.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the dinner will soon begin. Please take your seats.” the emcee announced.

The dean of the university was giving his speech and you were looking over your notes.

“Without further delay, I’d like to invite our talented pianist, Miss Y/N.”

You walked onto the stage, where the grand piano stood.

“Miss Y/N will be playing Merry Go Round of Life,” they announced.

“Alongside, rising musician and ex lecturer, Professor Qian!” at the sound of that, your eyes widen and you turn to the other side of the stage.

There he was, you never knew he could be any more handsome. He wore a white shirt and tucked it into a pair of black dress pants. Just like Howl.

He stood beside you, grabbing your hand and pulling you for a bow.

“Kun…” you said, not paying attention to the audience.

“Your hair, it’s just like starlight,” he whispered. “It’s beautiful.” he quoted Howl from the movie.

You couldn't believe he was here, both of you sat down on the bench and breathed in.

“Ready, love?” he asked.

“Now that you're here, I am.” you winked.

You breathed in and began playing.

And just like that, it was as if nobody else was in the room. Both pianists worked together in harmony and the entire ballroom was in awe of the beautiful chemistry between them.

You eyed him and smiled, which he too smiled widely. You continued and for the first time in weeks, you got it.

You played it like the first time. Everything was there, the sweet, the smooth tune and the gentle way it radiated around the room.

Once the music stopped, the room was quiet before the roaring applause began.

Both of you stood up and bowed, holding one another's hands. Your friends were whistling and cheering loudly.

You giggled and faced Kun but your heart stopped.

He was happy that he made it in time to play with her but when he turned he wasn't expecting to see,

Yellow. True happiness.

Both of you stood frozen, his eyes were yellow and so were yours.

Your soulmate mark… was your eyes. That’s why you couldn’t find it.

You ran backstage, pulling Kun with you.

“I love you,” you said before slamming your lips onto his. Kun pushed you gently against the wall, kissing you much more eagerly.

Thankfully, everyone was on the other side of the backstage so you took your time. He pulled you close, hugging your waist while you wrapped your arms around his neck.

You kissed him so close that your whole body curved into his.

You pulled away, both of you panting at the kiss. Your eyes were close for a few moments before you opened them, you placed a hand on his cheek.

“I knew you were meant for me.” he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “And i love you too.” he gave you one more peck.

You rested your foreheads against each other, still in each other's arms, happy as ever.

You walked out, hand in hand. Some gave you strange looks but you didn’t care. He was your soulmate and that’s all that matters.

Your classmates were all staring at you, whispering among each other. You caught them whispering so you decided to give Kun a kiss on the cheek.

Everyone’s stopped what they were doing before screaming and squealing. You giggle and pulled him to the table.

“Ah, making it public I see?” Hendery asked.

Both of you looked at each other and smiled.

“Wait… oh my god.” Sicheng realised the look on your faces. Everyone reacted similarly.

“Everyone, this is Kun. My soulmate.” and with that, there were tears of joy, praises and plenty of hugs.

You took a walk at uni one last time, you told everyone you wanted some time to reminisce about your last time there.

You walked into the studio and smiled at the familiar setting. The piano at one corner and the many desks scattered everywhere.

You sat at the piano and thought of all the long practices you had with Kun, those moments that made you closer and closer.

You decided to play one last song, For The Dancing and Dreaming. The song that made you friends in the first place.

You chuckled when you heard the door open.

“I knew you'd be here.” the honey-like voice said. You felt him hug you from the back, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Just enjoying my last time here,” you said, holding onto his hand.

“I know. I’m gonna miss this place too. So many great memories here.” he sighed.

You turned and faced him, kissing him once more. “Shall we go back?” you asked sweetly.

He nodded, “Yes please, I’m still very jet lagged.” both of you laughed.

When you got up from the bench, you stumbled slightly, a sudden pain shot up from your spine.

You suddenly saw you and Renjun in the studio. Why does that look familiar?

You held onto his hand while you pressed a hand against your head.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, he held your face in his hands.

“Y-yeah. I’m just feeling a bit dizzy. Let’s go home, yeah?” you smiled.

He nodded and both of you walked out hand in hand.

The drive was quiet, Y/N had fallen fast asleep and Kun was smiling the entire way.

You stretched, opening your eyes.

"Hey, feeling better?" He asked.

You nod, "A bit better."

You could only hear the sound of the air conditioner and the music.

"Kun?" You called.

"Yes, love?" He answered.

"Are you going to go back?" You asked.

He sighed, "I was actually gonna avoid this topic but no, I don't want to. Especially after finding out that you're my soulmate. I never wanna leave you." He held your hand and kissed the back of it.

"B-but…"

"No buts Y/N. I'm staying. I'll continue being a lecturer." He said.

"Kun, be honest, did you enjoy yourself when you were touring?" You asked.

"Well yeah but I enjoy teaching as well so your point is invalid." He replied.

"Kun, I can follow you. I'll travel with you if that means you'll continue." You pleaded.

"I can't believe we're arguing about this again." His hand tightened on the steering wheel.

"We don't have to! Kun, I don't mind following you. We'll still be together!" You said, voice a bit louder than before.

"Yeah and leave your friends? I can't do that to you." He was getting irritated, you could see his knuckles turning white.

"So what? You did it too!" You pointed out.

"That's different." He muttered.

"How? In what way is it different?" You almost yelled.

"It's because I can handle being alone!" He finally yelled back.

"Goddamnit Y/N, I can't go through what happened the other day. If you follow me, you'll only have me. If you stay at home you have the boys, your friends and family."

"Kun, I can always make new friends!"

"Enough! I don't want to he-"

Suddenly, a loud honk was heard and Kun swerved to the side. The last thing you heard was him calling your name and screaming. A weird buzz began tickling your body and suddenly, everything went black.

"Y/N?" You heard a muffled voice. You opened your eyes but it was still black.

"Kun? Kun! Why can't I see?!" You yelled.

"Woah, Woah bubs. You're okay." You heard Jaemin's voice.

"Nana, Where's Kun? Is he okay?" You tried to get off the bed but you fell.

"Y/N!" Renjun yelled, picking you up.

"I can't see, Nana, Injunnie what's going on? Where's Kun?!"

"Baby, who are you talking about?"

It's been a year since you lost your eyesight. You sat in your bed and cried. You lost your soulmate as quick as he came.

"Is she okay?" Lilian asked her husband. He shook her head, "She's been crying every night. I don't know what to do. The doctors still don't know how she lost her eyesight. Renjun said she just fainted." He drank his coffee.

"Sweetie, what about we bring her for a concert? A pianist is coming to town. I think she would enjoy it very much." Lilian suggested.

"That would be nice. Let's go ask her." Both of your parents knocked on your door.

"Sweetie, can we talk?" Your father shook your body slowly.

You wiped your nose, "sure." They helped you sit up.

"Y/N, how would you like to go to a concert? A famous pianist is in town and I think you'll enjoy it very much." Lilian suggested.

You sighed, "What's the use. It's not like I can properly enjoy it." You complained. They both gave you a hug, Lilian rubbing your back gently.

"Baby, you haven't gone out in ages. Jaemin and Renjun miss you alot." Lilian said.

"Please? I think you'll love it." Your dad asked once more.

You groaned, "Sure. Why not?" You agreed.

Renjun and Jaemin immediately gave you a hug. You missed seeing their faces so much and just seeing things.

Every minute you're awake, all you can see was Kun's beautiful brown eyes.

"C'mon, it's starting." Your father ushered you in.

The moment the song played, your heart broke.

The pianist was playing Merry Go Round of Life.

"Mom, can you please bring me to the toilet?" You pat her hand.

"Of course sweetie." She said.

Once you entered the toilet, you began crying your heart out. You miss his touch, his kisses, his kindness and his stubborn habit of not following what he wants. You cried realising that your last time with him was wasted on a useless fight.

You cried and sobbed when you felt a hand touch your face.

You gasped, "Lilian?"

"No, dear. It's me." That voice… Cyan!

"Cyan? Is that you?"

"Yes, Y/N. I’m sorry everything turned out so badly."

"Cyan, please I need to see him." You begged.

"I know, love. Which is why I'm telling you this."

"Once you go to that world, all memory of you will disappear in this one and all the lost memories of you will return to those in the other world."

"The choice is yours."

You stood up and breathed out.

"Anything for him."

She chuckled, "Good. Now, be good when you reach that world." She snapped her fingers and suddenly you fell to the ground, the cold tiles coming in contact with your skin.

When you woke up, the white light blurred your vision but you could see again. You looked at yourself in the mirror and you slowly touched your face.

You began tearing up when you heard the applause from outside.

You ran out of the toilet and searched around. You began running around when you bumped into a hard chest.

"Woah, you okay?" Jaemin asked. He looked at you closely, "Y/N, are you okay?" You knew that both Jaemins was the same but you couldn't help but hug him. Once you saw Renjun as well, you ran and gave him a hug.

"What happened?" He asked. Jaemin came towards you and shrugged.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the man of the night." You heard someone announce.

When you turned around you saw him.

The love of your life. But he looked so different, instead of his once lively features, he looked tired and emotionless.

"QIAN KUN!" you yelled.

No… that can't be her

"KUN!"

"Y/N?" He looked around when his eyes landed on you.

He stood frozen, not believing that you were there. You ran to him and immediately looped your arms around him.

"Where have you been, my love?" He hugged you back, sobbing as he asked.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Both of you sank to the floor not letting go of one another. You cried together, forehead pressed against each other.

You pressed your lips to him, holding his head in your hands. Tears streaming both of your faces, both not ever wanting to let go, ever.

You woke up, stretching your body. You turned and saw Kun sleeping soundly. His bare chest rose and fell, his breathing steady.

You turned to the balcony of your hotel room. You tied your robe and walked out, inhaling the cold air of Vienna.

You watched the figures walking around and you smiled.

A pair of strong hands wrapped around your waist. "Baby, come back to bed." He kissed the nape of your neck.

"Good morning, Kun." You greeted sweetly.

"Good morning, baby." He rested his chin on your shoulder, shutting his eyes.

"You'll have to get up soon, Kun. We have a performance at 3." He groaned.

"Don't remind me." He sighed.

You chuckled and turned around, wrapping your hands around him.

"Y'know I love you right?" You asked.

He kissed your forehead, "Of course. I love you too."

"And I promise to never leave you, ever." You said. "I'll be here with you until we're old and wrinkly."

He chuckled and kissed your lips, "I like that." He said.

You smiled and rested your head on his chest.

"I love you."

"And I love you."

As they stood there in each other’s arms, they had not realised that both their wishes from the festival had come true.

Hers was to not be alone and to be loved.

And he was to find his soulmate and love her forever.

293 notes · View notes

7wanderingpaws · 4 years

Text

Simply, yours (8) (M)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: family AU, hapkido teacher AU, PhD AU

Word count: 3.8K

Warnings: cursing, mature content, angst

A/N: This one was so easy and fun to write frankly! Thank you so much for letting me know your opinions for the last chap, it motivates me like 1000x more! If you could tell me what you thought about this one as well, it would be nice! Thank you 🎉 And sorry I edited this one, but Im sure there will be typos and sentences that made sense in my head while I edited but they actually dont, apologies!

Tags: @milky-baek @itsbaekhyunsbutt @luvhtears @ shesdreaminginoverdose (if you want to be tagged/untagged let me know! Im always open^^)

MASTERLIST

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8

Once again, you entered your apartment in silence, except the few times Baekhyun let out a tired, exasperated sigh. Your phone was blowing up with messages from your boss; honestly, you didn't understand why was he even trying to contact you after everything that happened. By now you knew you wouldn't be able to save your work spot. Not after what Baekhyun did. And here you were, worrying about not telling your darn boss about your pregnancy.

In the safety of your apartment full of love, you were able to feel. The hotness of emotions was coming back to your bloodstream, the numbness from throwing up and the adrenaline of the fight -it was all palpable in fading touches.

This time, it was you who let out a tired sigh, but you felt the burn behind your eyes yet again as you made your way to the bedroom to collect some clean clothes before making a beeline for the bathroom, ignoring Baekhyun's angry expression as you passed by him.

Before you could close the door, he murmured your name in a warning.

“What.”

“You know we need to talk, right?” he snapped, turning to you. He spotted your bloodshot eyes, full of unshed tears and he assumed you weren't seeing him properly. He was right.

You saw him blurry like a modern art painting. Pretty, yet so… unreadable, almost worrying at how you couldn't see to the depths of it. “I know.”

At your terse answer, he clenched his jaw and you blinked, letting the tears roll down your cheeks just to see the tick in his jaw, the set of his chin almost scary. “Go,” he sighed, pushing his hands into the pockets of his dress trousers. “We will talk once you're out of there.”

Without waiting for your response, he turned abruptly but to your surprise, he reached for the front door, swinging it open. You closed your eyes just in time for it to slam shut. And he was gone.

Quietly, you took a long shower, thinking he wouldn't be back until… well, until he deemed good to be back. Which could be whenever.

Honestly speaking, you never had such a big, troubling fight before. Never. Yes, you did fight, but he never left you. Not at that hour, anyway. And you were also never pregnant. So this was one of a kind problem you found yourself in, and as you tried not to sob through your entire shower, your mind instead stormed through options you had with what happened.

Except, you had none.

You were out of job.

Your boyfriend, a hapkido master, used violence on your boss.

Your boyfriend could be reported.

You lied to your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend… was mad at you. Livid.

Was this the end of your relationship?

No.

He wouldn't let go of you that easily, and the realisation of that made you sob right then and there. The relationship you two shared was stronger than any of your doubts that were scaring you; it was stronger than any bad word, any bad action, because you two were more than that and your connection was stronger than that. As much as it hurt you that he left without telling you, you knew him well enough to know he would be coming back to you. You knew he would forgive you and he wouldn't break up with you. Not when you were carrying his children. Baekhyun was much, much more than an angry emotion and a protective action.

And you were pregnant with him.

Three kids. Three.

“Fuck,” you sighed as you closed your eyes under the hot water, wanting it to drown out all of your intruding thoughts.

If there was an issue you two genuinely had to worry about, it was how you would feed them and yourselves. Would you even survive bearing three children till the end? Would you survive giving birth? You were way past the first trimester which meant you were over the dangerous period, but you knew better than that. Bearing one child was a constant risk. Three? Definitely playing with fire.

Not wanting to create a huge water bill, you reluctantly turned off the shower even though your body screamed for more. Tired and aching, you dried yourself up, not bothering to put on a lotion; smells had been playing with your stomach too much and you literally despised and hated the constant throwing up game.

It was just ten minutes after your shower; you were lying in the bed, tucked in and ready to call it a day, when Baekhyun came back. His timing was perfect and it meant he didn't wander off in the dark streets to let his frustrations out. He probably went for a short walk.

Some shuffling later, he appeared in the doorway, the small lamp next to the mattress you were lying on gently illuminating your tired self. You didn't dare to look at your boyfriend, but you knew you had to do it. He was expecting you to. He was not in the place to beg for forgiveness now. If it was anyone, it was you.

Sighing, you pressed your lips together as you sat up slowly, looking him dead in the eyes; those dark eyes that had still some leftover heavy showers in them.

“Baekhyun,” you started and he kept your gaze daringly, leaning against the doorframe. When he didn't speak, you pursed your lips. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have told you.”

Silence.

“I will need more than that.” Was his cold answer.

“Don't you want to sit down?”

He was quiet for a moment, but then he crossed his arms. You knew better than to test him. When it came to irrational stuff you did, he was using the “I'm older” type of power against you, and you couldn't argue with that. “What did he make you sign?”

Once again, it was quiet. He was burning you with his scorching gaze, and you felt your cheeks heat up in complete embarrassment and self-loathing. But you needed to be honest. “I-I'm not sure if it was in the contract,” you started, trying not to stutter, “but he made me… Ehm, I was not supposed to fall pregnant. In exchange of him promoting me at work.”

As expected, Baekhyun let nothing to be read from his face. “Did you sign the contract and not read what it said?”

Please, make this stop. “Yes. But I really didn't think that-t-that-”

He spoke your name, cold and harsh, obviously upset. “You didn't think what?! Just how irresponsible it is not to read the conditions of a piece of fucking paper that can be used against you, huh?!”

Slowly, you tried to breathe. This was necessary. He had to let it out.

“You could have signed him owning you for all I know! Fucking hell,” he sighed, now running his hand through his hair wildly, turning away from you for a moment before sharply turning back, startling you. “And you just wanted to do it because what- you wanted more money? Is it all about money for you?! Since when did you become so fucking materialistic that you would stand in your own damn dreams!!!”

Tears, tears, tears, and he was completely right. Opening your mouth, he snapped.

“No, don't speak! I don't want to hear it right now! Fuck,” he murmured, and paced in front of you, his jaw set strong. “You weren't even pregnant when it all happened, why would you want to get to more money so badly?!”

“I wanted to provide for us as well!” you shouted back now, but your voice was so shaky you felt like you sounded pathetic. He had to know, though. “We are coming from a low-class background, Baekhyun! Why is it so bad for me to want to do more when I am perfectly able to do so?”

“Because you would have ruined your own dreams while chasing something so artificial!” he shouted back, stepping closer to where you were sitting, but you didn't budge from the sudden movement. “Money was, and money will be! But us creating a family together won't be a forever opportunity! And you were willing to just hang it up for, what, 300.000 won more? Don't be ridiculous! Plus! He is a fucking arsehole! If he isn't touching you up, he is treating you like complete shit; you deserve better than any of this! And if I could have, I would have beaten him up long ago.”

You averted his gaze. His words were driven by his love for you, you knew that much. So as much as you wanted to be offended and hurt, he was hundred percent right. Everything he just threw into your face was correct and you couldn't defend yourself, because he would come at you right away.

“Is this really everything our relationship means to you?” he asked, a bit more quietly, but his tired tone was scarring your heart. You dared to look back at him, to see him staring on the ground, one hand on his hip.

“No,” you said and you cried again, “it isn't and you know it, too.”

“Do you think I am incapable of taking care of us? Of the kids?” he looked at you, huge puppy eyes on full display as he slowly let his guard down. “Because all of this just proves you don't trust me as the breadwinner of this household.”

You bit your lip, trying to suppress your arguments, but ended up going against it. “Baekhyun, we aren't in a situation where I need to stay home, clean and do nothing while you get to earn money as if it was some easy thing to do. I am, and I will continue to work,” you replied resolutely despised tears rolling down your cheeks, “and it isn't you as a breadwinner, but us.”

The society surely was patriarchal, so if you dared to talk to your father in this manner, he would have slapped you. There was no such thing as a woman who got to go against her husband or brother.

Baekhyun, however, wasn't your father or your brother. He wasn't even your husband, and when you saw his troubled look, he finally let himself sink down on the mattress. He was your kind, loving boyfriend. “I already said this,” he started, “but I am not, and I won't keep you inside the house, locked up, while waiting for me to return to you after work. I won't tell you what to do, you know I never did,” he said in a more friendly manner, but it still beared authority. “I respect you as a woman,” he said, speaking your name softly, “and you are my everything.” His hand reached out to caress your cheek that was still wet from your tears. “I need to see you only smiling, happily, but I cannot accept you lying to me like this again. I thought we had been together long enough for us to earn each other's trust, and you going like that behind my back and signing bullshit was nothing but stupid and irresponsible. Especially because your pregnancy was jeopardized like that. You can't be under stress like that, sweetie.”

Hearing him calling you a pet name, you knew the war was over and he finally was on the positive side. His authoritative voice still kept you on edge, so you didn't throw yourself at him just yet.

“If he kicked you out, which I'm pretty much convinced he did, I wouldn't be against you not working until you give birth.”

“Baekhy-”

“Shh, let me speak, honey,” he said quietly and shuffled himself closer, sitting right opposite you cross-legged as he took your hands in his. “Listen. I know you know it, but having three babies under your heart is a dangerous situation,” he whispered loudly, bringing your intertwined hands to his lips. “It's dangerous especially for you. You are very tired after work, and you come home late and don't get enough rest. Sukyeong even told me you don't always keep up with your meals, and I don't like it one bit.” The way his lips moved against the skin of your hand was soothing you. “Accept that he threw you out, before I file a lawsuit against him for harassing you and making you sign nonsense contracts, and stay home. Find a part-time job instead, but you need to rest, darling.”

“Baekhyun,” you finally spoke and he hummed, as he let your hands fall to his lap. His eyes were now so gentle and full of worry. “I am so sorry. For everything. I shouldn't have done any of that, but please know I did it with good intentions.”

Baekhyun went silent for a bit, analysing your face, your tired features and pale skin, which only reminded him you had been throwing up today and dealing with the situation in the restaurant. Suddenly, he felt so guilty for making you go through all of it in just one evening, (although you were responsible for it, too). Let alone he just shouted at you for good ten minutes. He couldn't even imagine what other things you must have been feeling the past weeks, given how your body was changing day by day. “It's alright, babe, it's alright. I understand. C'mere,” he whispered, opening his arms and you threw yourself at him, making him almost fall back on his back. You snuggled your face into his neck, and he let out a satisfied breath, caressing your back gently. “I'm sorry for shouting at you. But I'm not sorry for punching that idiot. He deserved it.”

You were looking at the skin on his neck and how it disappeared under his shirt that had the first two buttons undone. “Thank you for standing up for me, honey.”

“My baby,” he murmured lovingly into your hair before he gave it a kiss. “My only baby.”

You woke up to slow, gentle caresses on your small belly as your shirt was ridden up just a tiny bit, Baekhyun not wanting to wake you just yet. He was behind you, wanting to spoon you as soon as he washed up and fell in bed next to you last night. It didn't take long for both of you to fall asleep, as surprising as that was. The events tired you out, and he wanted you to sleep as much as you could.

He kissed your clothed shoulder before he nosed your neck and buried his face in your hair, while his caresses didn't stop. Letting his eyes close for a moment, he brought his front just a little closer to you, his leg wrapping around yours that were politely connected. His hand absentmindedly wandered further up before going dangerously low, sending shots of pleasure down your core without even paying attention. You knew he would soon realize his effect on you, because you definitely felt like squirming in his hold.

His hand lazily dragged upwards almost touching the underside of your breast when you couldn't keep it in anymore, breathing in sharply just for his hand to stop right under the-

“Oh, I finally have you awake,” he murmured, his husky voice sending another set of chills down your spine.

You couldn't help but smile, happy you woke up to this. The fluid down there was saying something else, though.

“Slept well?” he murmured into your ear, as he continued dragging his hand up. You groaned softly when he groped your breast as he pushed himself even more into you, and you felt it. He was so ready for you.

“Mhm,” you hummed in agreement, enjoying the massage as he proceeded to nibble on your ear from behind, your eyes closed in pleasure. “You?”

“I realised we didn't keep our promise, babygirl.”

Your breath hitched in your throat when your realised what he was implying.

“So, is my beautiful lady still horny enough to go the remaining two rounds?” His voice was so deep, you felt yourself scrunching your eyes shut, the adrenaline quickly making its way into your bloodstream. “We will take it,” he murmured and this time his hand was going down, down, down, the panties the only barrier from his wandering hand as he lifted the hem of them teasingly, testing just how ready you were for him, “very slowly, my dear.”

His fingers played with you just for few seconds before he pushed his middle finger inside, your mouth opening in a silent moan as you leaned back into him.

“It's so early, but you are already like this,” he continued while your head was swimming, his ministrations nothing short of slow, yet so pleasurable, “all for me.”

Your insides were squeezing painfully, and he wasn't moving faster, nor did he have the intentions. “Baekhyun,” you said, trying not to pant too loudly, “I just want you.”

“Hmm? Speak louder, I'm still sleepy.”

“You're such a tease,” you whispered in disbelief before surprising him by reaching behind you to touch him exactly where he needed you. He hissed, his eyes looking at your profile to see the smirk you had on your face.

“I wanted it to be slow, romantic and all of that,” he mumbled before pushing your hand away while he sat up, causing you to fall on your back. As soon as his hand was out of your panties, you felt a pang of frustration before he covered your body with his, his face close to yours as you tried to calm down from him fingering you so sensually.

“I want none of that,” you replied as you grabbed his face for a heated kiss, “I want you inside me, just about now.”

“Needy, naughty…” he muttered with a flirty smirk as he teased you at your opening, causing both of you to groan. “Are you ready, sweetie?” And he still made sure you were okay with him.

“I'm always ready for you,” you whispered, spreading your legs even more for him, as he pushed himself in, your eyes instantly closing in wonderful pleasure only he was able to give you.

He stayed inside, buried and panting into your hot mouth as he rested his forehead on yours. “Sweetheart, open your eyes for me, hm? I love you, you know that?”

“I know that. And I love you, do you know that?” you reciprocated, smiling up at him only to be rewarded with his smiley eyes as he pushed back before diving right in few more times, where he hit your sweet spot. Moaning loudly, he dragged his face to suck on your neck before he took one of your hands, intertwining them with his as he pushed it up above your head.

“I know that. You are my angel,” he said, finishing it with a guttural groan as he felt you pulsing around him, knowing you were about to cross the edge and he was not far behind you. “Come for me. We have another round,” he breathed before kissing you passionately, messily, moanily.

You mentioned you wanted none of slow. And in the second round, he gave you just that. Baekhyun became ruthless, just before whispering: “Are you riding?” And he was fast to change positions. He helped you straddle him although you definitely had the energy to move and climb by yourself, given your crazy hormonal drive.

“That was just a warm-up session.” He warned, not waiting for you. Your screams, his groans, the heat, it was all so fucking amazing you were left in a complete bliss. You were fast to catch up to him, moving your hips while he was watching from beneath you, eyes dark, glazed over and completely smitten by you.

“You're the best,” you breathed out as you dragged your hands to you breasts, but Baekhyun wanted none of that. He swiftly sat up, his chest almost pressed to yours while you continuously rode him, up and down, your hands being pushed aside just to be switched with his as he added his sinful lips to the swell of your breasts.

“You're a goddess, mummy,” he muttered, leaving a wet trail on your chest while his hands squeezed and massaged your mounds.

“Baekhyun!” you scolded, and despite the sweat and the delightful pull in your belly approaching yet again, you blushed; the blush definitely caused by his choice of words.

He looked into your eyes, his ones proud and lustful. “It's true,” he muttered, groaning as you sank down exceptionally hard, almost falling onto his sturdy chest. His hands were now squeezing your sides, helping you out, unable to keep the needy touches to himself when you looked so gorgeous like that. He squeezed your arching body to his sweaty chest.

A quick glance at your swollen belly that he made sure you noticed, his hand came to touch against it and you were gone. He caressed you there gently while swallowing your moans as you grabbed his face, kissing him, your hair falling, creating an intimate curtain just around where your mouths were connected. You still had an unearthly energy to help your boyfriend out to his orgasm, not wanting to be in the ecstasy alone, and as much as Baekhyun needed the release, his hands slid across your sides, holding your hips to stop their movement.

“Enough, baby girl,” he whispered into your mouth, leaning back ever so slightly to see your flushed cheeks, sweaty forehead. “I don't want you to hurt yourself.” He was still panting and you swore to god he looked so handsome with his hair glued to his forehead, puffy cheeks. You might have gotten horny again.

“Come with me,” you insisted, attempting to to move again but he bit his lip, a cheeky glint in his eyes, and he held your back tenderly, moving you to lie on your back, while slipping out of you. Hissing, he stood up quickly.

“I'll be right back.”

Trying to calm your breath, you closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling in your aching body. A knowing smile played on your lips; Baekhyun would rather get a cold shower then another orgasm from you, just because he was worried about you. If that wasn't some darn good self-control, you didn't know what it could be.

Just as he promised, he was back soon, a towel in his hands to help you clean up. Once done, he lied back down next to you and you immediately curled up by his chest. “That was amazing.”

“Hmm, you are amazing,” he said. After a little pause, he asked: “You feeling alright?”

“Perfect. But I could go again, you know? You don't have to be so careful with me.”

He snorted as he played with the ends of your hair. “Jeez, you already have my baby! Actually three of them! Slow down, woman.”

You both laughed heartily, and he loved the sound.

“But I want to have youuu, my love,” you whined.

“You have me. You always have me. I'm yours. I'm just simply yours.”

A/N: just to clarify, this isnt the end, we still have quite some things to get through actually - more drama ㅠㅠ! Just didnt want to leave you on a cliffhanger. Hope you liked this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Any feedback is very much appreciated 🥺 🥺

#baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun smut #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun fic #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun imagine #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic #exo smut #exo fluff #exo au #baekhyun au #kpop fanfiction #kpop smut #kpop au #my writings

214 notes · View notes

babysizedfics · 3 years

Note

Poor roman :( but that being said I am heka interested in 5

remus humiliates roman in front of jamal (but jamal is a sweetheart)

vote from this concept voting post!

TWs: swearing, emotional humiliation, arguing, remus is generally pretty mean in this - not "unsympathetic" but his behaviour is not ok, brief alcohol mention but it isnt a main feature

first some background info on remus and ro:

roman and remus' friend groups actually run parallel to each other by pure councidence in that theyre the same age and are both in the local queer scene

usually they only run into each other on nights out and avoid each other like the plague... until one of romans friends and one of remus' friends become a very serious couple and the friendship groups merge

remus tends to hang it over romans head whenever they argue or remus just feels like teasing him that he could so so easily spill romans secret littlespace to all his friends

and while roman claims to not care he also really doesnt want that to happen, especially the specific things remus threatens to reveal (namely him calling his cgs mommy and daddy, and his fear of the dark - which remus knows are romans biggest embarrassments)

and remus never USUALLY actually follows through on his threats, he loves to freak roman out but he doesnt mean to be intentionslly cruel.

but one night theyve had an argument recently and remus is out to hurt roman and finally follows through on his threat to reveal romans secrets. in front of jamal

((the actual incident below the cut))

all the friends are walking back from a night out, and remus hangs back from the group to talk to jamal. roman is just glaring at remus and not saying anything and holding jamals hand tightly. remus hasnt embarrassed him too bad so far, just asking jamal questions and referring to roman as his "baby brother" which is so annoying, but the thing is roman can tell hes building up to something

then suddenly remus smirks when he sees a completely pitch black side street thats theyre about to pass by, and he calls out to everyone "hey guys, there's a 24/7 mcdonalds through here and its a shortcut to the bus stop" and everyones like WOO mcdonalds and redirects to go down the side street

and romans heart pounds watching the friends all filter down the street without a second thought, theres no streetlights down there, theres light on the other side quite far away, but before that its SO DARK. and he freezes in place and jamal is tugged back by it and looks back at him. "babe, come on"

romans starting to feel shaky and he literally cant move his feet. his eyes flick between the street and remus' sadistic cocky smirk.

"whats wrong baby bro? you stuck or something?" remus leers with that stupid stupid smirk

and roman HATES him so so much

"ro, what's the matter?" jamal asks

"i- um," roman stutters, trying to keep his voice from shaking too much at the sight of his friends just having DISAPPEARED into the darkness - how are they okay with that?? "i- im not hungry"

"okay well i am, and remus said it was a shortcut anyway so-"

"i-i -- no i can't"

seraphina, romans best friend, looks back and notices whats happening and quickly jogs over (knowing roman is scared of the dark) "hey roma, it's okay we dont have to go down there" she soothes

jamal is supportive but he doesnt get it. he thinks roman is scared of criminals or smth. "i promise theres no one bad down there, hun. and i'll be right next to you the whole time, i'll protect you" and he smiles and tugs romans hand to pull him towards the side street

romans eyes quickly tear up and he panics and rambles "nononono dont please please i cant i cant" in a broken voice and plants his feet firmly on the ground, paralysed with fear

remus starts cackling "ohhhhh thats right~" as if he just remembered. "my baby brother's terrified of the dark, isn't he?"

"f*ck off, re" sera barks, standing between the twins, protective of roman

"wait, are you?" jamal asks sounding surprised. roman doesnt let himself look at him, too busy watching remus warily and knowing thats not all he has planned to embarrass roman

remus goes on, shouting out to jamal over sera's head "he's petrified!" he confirms sounding delighted. "yknow that massive blackout last summer? he cried like a baby. literally sobbing for his daddy patton to make it go away"

theres a brief silence because no, sera and jamal didnt expect remus to refer to patton as romans daddy - they both know roman calls him dad but this is a surprise.

and that one second of silence drags on for ages for roman, all he can hear is his heart pounding in his ears and remus' obnoxious laughter

he is shaking, frozen in shock rather than fear now. for all of remus' teasing threats at home, he didnt expect remus to actually do it. hes devastated and humiliated that remus told to his best friend and especially his BOYFRIEND of all ppl

and honestly he's not even thinking about the pitch black side street right now because the streetlights on the main road are blurred by tears welling in his eyes anyway

"why dont you just leave him alone!" sera hisses furiously after her mild shock

then jamal bounces back rlly stern to remus "yeah i already know about that! roman told me and it was HIS choice to tell me"

roman stares at him in disbelief but jamal is too busy staring daggers at remus to notice

remus looks suddenly offended and frowns. hes clearly hurt that the others dont think its funny "jeez youre both such bores. im just having some fun"

"youre demented if you think thats fun" seraphina growls and shoves remus away towards the sidestreet. remus rolls his eyes and runs ahead to join the others who are all oblivious to that coversation, howling with drunken laughter in the pitch black and jumping out and scaring each other

"f*cking prick" jamal calls after remus, seething

sera quickly throws a concerned look to roman "you okay?"

roman just swallows thickly and looks between seraphina and where he saw remus join the others in the pitch black. his stomach churns at the idea of remus telling more people. "i-is he gonna--"

"im on it" sera nods and starts turning around "i wont let him tell anyone else, roma, promise" then she runs ahead to keep an eye on remus and to give him and jamal some privacy

after a moment jamal turns back to roman looking so worried and holds his hands and asks very gently "babe, can you tell me how youre feeling?"

and roman is teary but he whispers "i - you stuck up for me"

jamal looks suddenly sad and cups romans cheek "of course i did"

"but you said i told you about it. i- i didnt tell you that i-" roman gulps after his voice wobbles "i didnt tell you about it"

and jamal smiles sadly and goes "i know babe... im sorry, i just didnt wanna give him any more power. it seemed like he's held that over you for a while"

suddenly the tears in romans eyes overspill and he doesnt really know why but he can't stop them

jama gasps a little "oh roman, its ok" and just pulls him into a tight hug

roman clings and sniffles, glad that he can hide his tears from his boyfriend even if it is in his neck.

and jamal just strokes his back and whispers "its ok baby, its ok" **

they talk about it quietly as they take the longer, well-lit route instead. roman admits he would never have told jamal abt his fear on his own - and the reason he's been avoiding staying overnight at jamals apartment is bc the one time he did he got so scared of the dark that he couldnt sleep and was just anxious all night but wouldnt wake jamal to tell him

after jamal finds out hes like baby why didnt u tell me its okay and comforts him about it not being embarrassing or childish. then:

"so you do actually want to stay at mine, its just because its so dark that you didnt?"

roman nods shyly "yeah... im sorry i know its a dumb fear i just-"

"its not dumb ro. i meant to say if it works for you, we could leave the hall light on and the door open. its not like i live with anyone who can walk in."

roman blinks "wait you - really? it wont make it hard for you to sleep?"

jamal smiles softly "no hun, honestly i could sleep anywhere. i fell asleep in the middle of the day in the staffroom just last month"

roman laughs, so so so relieved

"so... maybe next time you come over for dinner you could stay the night, yeah?" jamal says with a smile and a blush. he wraps his arm around romans waist and pulls him in, hip to hip

roman bites his lip and blushes. after a moment he suggests shyly "im free tonight..."

and jamal smiles so big, stops walking and puts his arm up to romans chest to stop him too then angles romans jaw down to kiss him

in the near future jamal promises to buy a plain nightlight and always leaves it on for roman when he stays overnight from then on

**side note: roman could never stand anyone calling him baby before because he felt infantilised at school becaus of his undiagnosed adhd. so he sees it as a derogatory name more than anything. but when jamal says it roman feels so warm and respected because he knows jamal would never mean it in that way. so jamal has "baby" rights basically

#swearing tw #little angst #long post #chaotic cousin remus #little/big concepts #asks #tumblebee the smol bean

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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years

Text

Dont Leave Camp

Im not entierly happy with the ending but i hope you enjoys it i have a few different imagines im tweaking atm which will hopefully be up within the next couple of days xx

Masterlist

Warnings: spanking, swearing, mentions of periods

A certain witcher punishes you for disobeying him

Dont Leave Camp

You huffed as you sat at the fire with Ciri and Jaskier. Yennefer had gone to the village on the other side of the small wood for something. To be honest you were to busy pouting to listen and Geralt had made his way in the opposite direction to take care of a small contract. You werent staying in the village as there had been an outbreak of a pneumonia it had killed four people then apparently the bodies attracted ghouls who were killing more people who was attracting more ghouls. Vicious cycle when you think about it. Which was what Geralt had been hired to get rid of. So the three of you were confined to the camp. You pulled your new black fur trimmed cloak tighter pushing away the hair that fell into your eyes, you cringed it was soo greasy to the point your scalp hurt. Shifting you grimanced as the other reason you were desperate for a bath made itself known. Thats right your pill had worn off and you had your fucking period which probably wasnt helping your mood. You didnt see any reason why you couldnt quickly have a bath in the village then return but no. Yennefer had put her foot down when you had asked. You tried to argue that your immune system was going to be better than theirs and that you knew the appropriate steps to take but Geralt had stepped in agreeing with her then left ordering you to stay at camp and that you could all bathe in the stream tomorrow. They didnt understand that your used to a much better hygiene routine then the people here. You sighed again seething not even aloud to bathe and Geralt definatly knew why you needed one. Having enough you got up going to your tent grabbing your wash cloth, soap and fresh undergarments leaving your cloak on the bed roll catching both Ciri and Jaskiers attentionas you made your way back out.

"What are you doing?" He asked tentatively

"Im going to find a stream and bathe." You said tersely befor making your way out across camp. Ciri got up befor grasing your arm pulling you back

"But Geralt said its not safe, you should wait untill tomorrow" you sighed and patted her hand.

"Im not waiting i really really really need a bath, im only having a quick rinse ill be about 10 mineuts ,if that? besides im going in the opposite direction to geralt and the ghouls" she didnt look convinced turning to Jaskier for back up

"Why do you even need one that bad you smell fine to me?" He offered a weak argument.

"Why? Ill tell you why iv spent all day sitting in blood stained knickers" you growled out at him ,he went a funny shade of green.

"Right then. 10 mineuts .be back before Geralt." You nodded and patted Ciri's head as you walked past

"No wait y/n i really think you should wait you dont want to make him angry" she tried to convince you to stay

"Ciri i'll be fine ok its not that far" you called over your shoulder as you made your way towards a small stream. You frowned as you went deeper into the wooded area and still couldn't hear the tell tale sound of the stream the camp had quickly dissapeared. It must have been nearly 10 mineuts before you heard it the trickling of water quickening your steps before you heard somthing else. You froze scanning the area with a shiver of fear before stepping backwards. As you heard things moving around in the woods the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end. You held your breath as you heard the mix of inhuman growls and bushes and twigs snapping under the weight of what ever it was. Your heart was trying to beat out of your chest. You decided it was time to go back to camp stepping back slowly retracing your steps slowly and quietly. You squeeked out when you saw a hideous creature crawling around the bushes a few feet infront of you quickly spotting another three wandering aimlessly with it. You ducked holding your hand across your mouth trying to quiet your panicking breaths tears flowed freely down your face. You found yourself shaking from quiet sobs as your fear took hold trying to scamper backwards faster. What ever it was began sniffing the air making their way towards you then they found you snapped their gazes locking onto you. You dropped your things hefting your skirt and ran as fast as you could with them on your tail. You screamed as loud as you possibly could trying to get anyones attention looking either side of you as one ran along side you and dived at you, quickly changing direction your thighs burned you jumped over small rocks and logs. You heard them behind you screaming bloody murder as one pounced onto you just clipping your dress you lost your footing crashing to the forest floor skidding down a small slope your vision was blurred with tears as you used the slope to roll up onto your feet staggering and continued running through an opening in the woods you cried out as your foot was snagged again by the one behinde you. Tumbling to the ground you felt its weight on you. Befor you heard an order being barked at you from infront of you.

"HEAD DOWN!!" You obeyed tucking your forhead into the dirt as seconds later you felt a rush of wind across your head the grusome sound of flesh and bone being struck with a blade followed by a gush of warmth on your back. The weight was removed You made to get up only having a foot pressing you back down.

"Stay there!" You could have cried as you saw geralt standing over you staring down the other three things he stepped one foot over you putting you between them feet. They eyed him wearily before all pounceing on him. With ease he twisted around them cutting each one down quickly. He stood back then knelt down collecting you into his arms looking down at you checking to see if you were ok you swore you felt his body tremor but only once.

"Are you hurt?" You shook your head not trusting your voice as you began sobbing into his chest clawing at him he sighed heavily wrapping himself around you tighter. He let you cry yourself out before pulling back scowling at you.The tenderness he had shown was replaced with disapproval and anger.

"What the fuck did i tell you?" He growled at you he shook you by the shoulders you shook your head at him whimpering he grabbed your chin forcing you to look him in the eye

" what .did. i. tell. you?" He grit his teeth as his anger broke throuhg his voice you sniffed placing your hands on his wrist

"G-geralt im sorry" he shook your face lighty his eyes were ablaze and burned into you scalding you with his anger.

"Y-you said not t-to leave camp." You answerd between sniffles

"Thats right i said not to leave camp." He forced you to look at the mix of blood flesh and body parts strewn across the floor.

"Because those ghouls are stalking this whole area , if i hadnt found you they would have ripped you limb from limb, kept you alive as they feasted on you." He explaind as you began sobbing again trying to look away he tightened his grip slightly still carefull not to hurt your jaw.

"No look because thats how i could have found you." Geralt grunted he was unimpressed and realeased your face after a few moments you felt his anger rolling off of him in waves grabbing you by the scruff of your dress and hoisted you to your feet. He growled at you effectively stopping all protest

"where the fuck did you think you were going anyway?"

"I wanted a bath" you said in a small voice. He scowled at you deep as you avoided his gaze.

"So you ignored my orders and warnings about the ghouls and put your life at risk for a bath?"

"....i didnt know that they were this way.... im sorry?" He threw you over his shoulder walking across the clearing.You began wriggling trying to throw of his hold that felt like an iron bar across the back of your waist.

"Geralt im sorry"

"Oh your not sorry ! not yet" he grunted out as he tensed his arm around you.

"WhhaAh" you hissed through your teeth as he stuck your upturned bottom with more force than you'd ever experienced from him before.you put your hands on your throbbing bottom rubbing, tears gatherd in your eyes at the harsh stinging he'd caused.

"I suggest you be quiet" he sat on a stump and lower you to your feet infront of him keeping a firm grip on your wrist. Pulling at his hand looking panicked.

"Geralt, i want to go back to camp." He shook his head at you befor using one hand to unstrap his swords placing them beside him on the floor.

"You dont want me to do this in camp." His words made you stop struggleing. Your eyes grew wide as you realized what he meant when he tugged you across his thigh you bucked at him.

"NO! Nonononono please im sorry! Geralt please you cant! i didnt mean to" He held you firm dragging you skirt high leaving it to pile at the small of your back ignoring your pleas.

"I will put up with a lot but i wont have you putting yourself in dangerous situations like this if i hadn't heard you you'd be dead" He started scolding you as his held you still and struck your rear followed by a second and third each felt like a palm sized brand he quickly laid slaps across the seat of you smalls. You wailed at the instant burning sting, there wasn't a slow build up or easing you in to it. He was only holding back enough of his strength so he wouldnt cause any damage apart from a sore bottom peppered it with heavy spanks. You threw your hands back coving yourself.

"Move your hands" You wriggled against his leg shaking your head he sighed smaking each palm then pulled them up tangling them in your heavy skirt holding them still and laid four much heavier spanks to your bottom. Crying as each one fell onto your swollen bottom you pushed against the floor with your tippy toes trying to make distance between you and his offending palm.

"Geralt pl-please. im o-on my monthly" you called out around hiccups and sobs teribly afraid of bleeding on him.

"Why do you think im leaving these up? you can guarantee you'd be bare if it was any other time." He grunted at you pulling lightly on the material. Unbelievabley even this harsh spanking was setting your body on fire you felt conflicted as your arousal built inside you, it was as if your body was no longer your own, his dominant display managed to control your basic desires even when he was punishing you so thoughrly.

"Ow! Geralt st-sto-op im sorry" he scoffed as he continued his blistering assault on your cheeks before moving to your thighs. You shreiked as he left your sensitive skin deep red and throbbing. Kicking your feet out like a chastised child. He took it in his stride and tucked them under his calf pinning them down.

"Will you stop this bratty behaviour? next time you nearly get yourself killed i will spank you in camp bare do you hear me?" You cried louder flushing when your pussy clenched at the thought of being punished infront of the others.

"Yes yes stop!" You shouted out at him as he left harder swats against your already bruised bottom rocking you forward.

"No more tantrums and when your told to do something you will do it. No more arguing with yennefer either" you nodded weakly and stopped struggling succumbing to him discipline laying limp over him sobbing uncontrollably a mix of yelps sniffing and shaking breaths babbling that you'd be good and wont argue, promising anything if he stopped he huffed continuing untill your skin was a deep red from your knees to the top of your bottom pulling you skirt back down he rubbed your back.

"What you did today was stupid you could have easily died had i not heard you you would have,we wouldn't have even found your body y/n. There would have been nothing of you left." He said but there was somthing in his voice it almost sounded like fear. You sniffed as he rested a heavy hand on your stinging swollen bottom.

"And i mean it you ever do anything like this again and i wont care where we are or whos there youll get a bare assed spanking then and there."

You shrunk knowing full well he meant every word he slowly sat you up on his legs faceing you.

"This is the last time you leave camp alone,from now on you always have some one with you no matter what. When you get back you will aplogize for worrying them." You tucked your head under his chin nodding still sniffing back sobs as your ass and legs burned. He sighed leaning to collect his swords heaving them back into place before standing with you cradled in his arms.

"I can walk" you said meekly he tightend his hold inhaling your scent

"I know i want to hold you...i thought id lost you" Your heart broke alittle at the crack in his voice he must have been worried when he heard you screaming. It took nearly 20 minuets to get back you camp you used the time to collect yourself wiping your swollen eyes and tear stained eyes. Once you got to camp Geralt placed you by the fire you yelped as your bottom made contact with the ground. Ciri gave you a sympathetic smile knowing exactly how you felt. Yennefer rushed beside you pulling you to her in a desperate hug then leant you back holding you at arms legnth.

"What were you thinking? I dont believe you could be so stupid-" her rant was interupted by geralt

"Yenn iv dealt with it" you blushed at his implication as the others heard to she nodded giving you the once over noting your destressed apperance.

"Good." Was all she said then handed you some thick rags

"I got these for you, there for your well... you know.." you smiled a small smile

"Thank you." You took them tucking them in your pack. Geralt cleared his throat looking at you pointedly

"Im sorry i was a brat and for worriying you..all of you i didnt mean to i hope you can forgive me for being such a bitch." Yennefer chuckled and kissed your head

"Thats ok we all have bad days but its all forgiven" you nodded as fresh tears gatherd in your eyes latching onto her and she returned the hug before she pulled back kissing your cheek then sat behind you letting you lean against her you hissed as your bottom slid along the floor. Jaskier took note and blinked at you

"Did he hurt you? Your really quiet" You blushed and dropped your head embarassed Yennefer chuckled and Geralt sighed already knowing where this was headed. Ciri piped up understanding the situation.

"Jaskier leave it" he frowned watching as you kept shifting uncomfortably then gapped laughing.

"He spanked you" you cringed as the word seemed to make your ass throb even more he laughed.

"Shut up! You little shit" you leant over thumping him he let out a manly squeel and tried avoiding you then laughed again

"Ah ah behave yourself or geralt will spank you again for being naughty" you growled and launched yourself at him and you both began wrestling on the floor

"You sound jealous" you quipped as you landed on him pinning him.He yelped and crawled away from you you growled at him as yennefer pulled you to sit beside her , whimpering lightly as you sat on the hard floor you glared at him as he sat down smug snickering at you.

"Jaskier carry on and you'll join her" he stuttered at the witcher before scoffing

"Youd have to catch me first" Geralt smirked and tilted his head.

"That a challenge?" Jaskier bit back any remarks he had making you Ciri and Yennefer chuckle at the meek looking bard.

#geralt of rivia imagine #geralt imagine #geralt x yennefer x you #geralt x yennefer x reader #geralt x modern reader #geralt x y/n #witcher fanfiction #witcher fic #witcher imagine

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strawberryspeachy · 3 years

Text

Lurking around fb and saw the “common friends” on a friends page and seeing the two together reminded me of a conversation i had with one of them

So the dude liked the girl. I met the girl when she first moved to my area in art class and she started talking to me immediately (basically saying ‘hey! Youre the only other not white person ive seen all day’ leaving me like ?????? Weird way to start a convo)

Anyhow fast foward a few years and meeting her when she first arrived came up in convo with the dude. And he was like no i met her first! and just cause i didnt think he knew that I literally met her on her first say in the school i was like - pretty sure i knew her before you

And this dude liked to play argue with people- so he started to do that. And drew me in - until the “argument” devolved into some weird ‘who knows her better’

And i was like

Wait wait.... this is fucking weird. I... dont actually... care that much?

I think that memory popped up because i comment on youtube videos time to time and i commented on one a couple months ago about para? Relationships and how thats why people are so invested in influences lives

And i just really take issue when people use words like “everyone” and “all” because not true. Were not all the same

And i dont develop that feeling with strangers - despite my best efforts as a teen to be normal and fangirl - i always lost interest after a couple weeks because i just didnt care

That doesnt mean i dont get excited over SOME celeberties or dont stop to check out new work. Of course.

But honestly the list of people i would wake up early and go wait in line somwhere to see them is very small.

And beyond that theres only another handful where if i happened to see them on the street, i would ask for a picture or something. And that handful are people whose work i genuinely like, not because i think theyre my friends

I didnt write all that. But i am genuinely confused by the interest in “attractive” peoples lives.

And someone commented that i am lying and if i ever saw an influencer id beg for a picture with them

Honestly offended by the idea cause going badk to that convo about my high school friend. I really really really hate talking about random other people in a way thay emulates them. I dont paticipate in it. I get grossed out when people try to drag me into those kinds of conversations. I hate when im with someone and they get really fucking hype over an expensive car or a crowd or a camera crew.

I dont wanna be part of the crowd thats obsessing over some rando with a pretty face or money.

I dont wanna get drug into a crowd obsessing over someones work that i dont care about

One of my college friends told me about a news article she saw about my favorite singers dating life.... and i didn’t know how to reply because they definitely told me expecting me to get excited in some way over it... but i just dont care. Like cook. Hes a talented attractive single dude in his late 40s - makes sense hell wanna settle down with someone sometime and its not gonna be me lol

Also. I do get disturbed when i know too much information about random people i dont actually know

Like celebrities- ones i dont like i rlly try my best to not learn anything about. I dont care

Ones i like - information they wanna put out into the world - sure ill listen from time to time. But i dont rlly care one way or another

“Influencers” aka conventionally attractive people with a camera and no other talent - i wish ppl didnt care so these assholes couldnt just coast by in life on their genetics - suffer like the rest of us.

So i hate them and no. I would not want pictures with them. I dont wanna meet them. I dont get the appeal. I try to pretend they dont exist.

Edit: side note. I stopped getting nauseous and all about talking in front of people after i realized that i dont care about other peoples presentations. I dont care when i see someone do something embarrassing (ill still laugh and enjoy it but.... who cares?) so why do i worry what other people will think of me? The answer is - they wont think of me.

And I seriously have never turned back. I rlly thought i was right until college when i realized - oh actually ppl are overly invested in other peoples lives - luckily for me it didnt revert me back. I just think thats weird

Also key in this is random other people - not ppl im romantically interested in (people i have met and talked to and had back and forth exchanges with) not super close friends or family and not people that affect our every day lives like corporate assholes and government employees.

I very much care about their day to day lives and thoughts and personal lives. Cause theyre important - to me or society or both.

Same with a group of people becoming a monolith which affects public opinion.

Like, There a difference between being annoyed by what the kardashians stand for and do to american society - while also refusing to watch their show or give a fuck about what they do in their day to day lives.

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wreckofawriter · 5 years

Text

I Don't Love

Pairing: Sirius Black x reader

Word count: 7,392 (Woah)

Warnings: Alochal, smoking, talk of sex.

Request: Hiii! Could I request a Sirius x reader imagine where the reader is like the girl version of Sirius. She wears her own leather jacket, and she’s basically a heartbreaker. Like Sirius, she doesn’t really believe in love, she believes in lust and attraction. Until She meets Sirius and starts falling for him and she’s super confused bc she’s never felt love before and Sirius starts falling for her and he’s confused cus of the same reason and it’s just super cute and fluffy 🥺

A/n: A few things: Number one. I am so incredibly sorry that this took me like 2 weeks to write. I had some pretty shitty crap go down and it just sorta fucked with me and I couldnt write. Number two. This is a little less fluffy than I wanted it to be but it still has a fluff ending. And Number three. To all the people who have sent me requests. I am going to start writing regularly again now so, I will probally have one out at the end of the week and another out around sunday or monday. Thank you so much for you patience.

You had officially decided that there were two types of boys in this world. One would scream and yell at you when they realized you were only in it for one night, while the other would beg for a chance that you were never willing to give.

Conor had opted for the latter.

“Y/n, please” He begged, his eyes were wide and pleading, he was desperate. Desperate for you to stay, he just wanted a chance.

You sighed taking a large swig of your coffee, it was too early for this shit. “Conor how many times am I going to have to tell you, it was a one time thing.” your voice was monotone, as if you were bored, which was quite honestly the case. Have the same conversation over and over again tended to do that to a person.

“Please y/n, I swear you wont regret it. Just one date.” The Huffelpuff begged, he gasped your hand in attempts to gain your attention. He did not succeed.

You let out a stiffened groan, the conversation had become increasingly frustrating, the fact that most of the school was listening in on the exchange of words definitely didn't help. “Conor,” you spoke slowly, praying that he could get the information you were about to give him though his thick skull. “Friday night was fun.” you watched his features brighten, his sky blue eyes filling with momentary hope. “But that's all it was, Friday night and fun, so please leave me alone, you're giving me a headache.”

You heard the gasps and felt the glares, Conor was popular, he was also nice, and from what you heard extremely sweet. So as he slunk away from you head hung, tail between his legs, you could feel a good dozen people glaring daggers into your back.

“Note to self: dont fuck popular people.” You mumbled quietly knowing you would never follow through with the rule.

You looked back down at your eggs rolling your eyes when you heard an all too familiar voice shriek in rage.

You along with everyone else in the hall turned to a furious Marlen Mckinnion who was practically dragging a smirking Sirius Black from his seat.

“You son of a bitch!” She shrieked, tears of fury and sadness leaking from her cheeks.

“Well my mother is a bitch.” He shrugged a cheeky grin pulling his lips apart.

She shrieked again, making you grimace.

You tunned out of her pathetic argument and opted your attention to the book resting at the bottom of your bag. You were about a chapter in before you got sidetracked by Marleens redicoulsly high pitched blubbers.

“How could you!” she sobbed behind you. God she was so loud. “You knew how I felt and you still fucked another girl!”

You weren't sure why but this sentence made you snort. You attempted to muffle the giggles slowly evolving to laughter, but they poured passed your lips like an overflowing sink. Those close to you gave you angered looks, but you didn't care, you received enough of those already. It didn't take long for Marleen, to halt her reckless cries and turned to you with a fiery rage.

She left Black standing where he was, her attention now focused purely on you.

“What do you think is so funny y/l/n?” She hissed tears still sliding down her flushed cheeks, her mascara trying her face into an angry blackened mess.

You snorted once again “I'm sorry.” You wheezed out unable to contain your laughter, “I don't mean to offend you or anything,” You lied not even bothering to trap your giggles anymore. “It's just…” You burst into another fit.

The hall had gone quite, they wanted to see what was going to happen almost as much as you did. “You're telling me you actually believe that he cares what you felt?”

He face flashed with surprise, you heard a few fellow Slytherins and even a couple Ravenclaws let out short bursts of laughter.

“How dare you!” She screamed, her voice shaky, hands bawled at her side.

“Look, it's nothing personal.” You shrugged calmly, "It's just ridiculous for you to overreact every time he sleeps with someone else. What did you expect?" You could feel hundreds of pairs of eyes on you, they were thirsting for chaos, something about the way Marleens face twisted at you words made it seem like there was a strong chance of their thirst being quenched.

"Maybe I expected him to actually give a shit about somebody for once in his miserable life!" She yelled turning around to see the dark haired boy biting his lips to keep in a laugh. "For him to actually love me the way I loved him."

You scoffed rolling your eyes, "You don't actually believe you were in love do you?"

"Of course I do." She hissed back tears still leaking from her blackened eyes, she had now taken a few steps toward you

"Love is bullshit. And if you belive you were actually in love with Black after sucking his dick once, than you just as stupid as you look." You smiled sickly sweet at the girl as she began towards you, her wand suddenly clenched in her right fist.

"You worthless WHORE!" Her voice rang clear through the hall.

You didn't move, you didn't even flinch because the second she raised her wand it was flying from her hand landing in Avery's, who then muttered a spell that froze her feet into the ground.

You sent him a cheeky smile and a wink before gathering your things and standing from your bench. You stood in front of the girl, just out of her reach. She was shrieking and crying and over all just a mess.

"Salazar, your pathetic." You murmured in disgust.

She yelled something at you couldn't understand, not that you cared to, you were pretty sure it involved the words slut and whore multiple times.

"Well I best be off" you smiled, "As said in Shakespeare's Coriolanus, Act 2 Scene one, 'More of your conversation would infect my brain.'" And with that you turned on your heel and left the room, green robes billowing neatly behind you.

A few days past, and as much as you tried to hide it, your world collapsed. Of course this had nothing to do with Marleen or any of her prideful, idiotic friends, this didn't have anything to do with school at all.

It had to deal with your home. You had officially decided that being pure blood sucked. Your whole life had been planned out for you and you didn't want to do even one thing on the pre planned timeline of your life.

The first thing directly after graduation was marriage.

You had been attempting to put this one off the longest, you were definitely not the type to settle down and start a family. In fact the idea made you gag. You didn't even like the commitment of a date, let alone of a marriage certificate.

So when you mother sent you a letter containing a list of names. Your heart sunk to the floor.

The top of the letter read, "My dearest daughter, as you know you are set to be married soon after graduation. Many young men have asked for your hand, me and your father picked the best of the best for you to choose from. I hope all is going well." And then a list of 11 names, some you had never heard of and some, you sat next to during your meals or studied with after class.

The thought of marrying any of them made you feel empty inside. You didn't love any of them and you weren't sure you would ever be able to love any of them.

But you said it yourself, love is bullshit.

This fact didn't stop you from being pushed into a dark hole by your mother's words. She wanted an answer by Christmas break, and hell, you hadn't been able to make a stable decision since you received the letter.

It started with a party after Slytherin beat Hufflepuff in quidditch. That also happened to be the day you were sent a reminder of your impending doom. So alcohol solved all of your problems for a couple hours and you woke up in the bed of a Ravenclaw you didn't recognize.

The next day you had an exam you failed which resulted in a mental breakdown that left you dehydrated with a migraine.

You had downed seven Advils and passed out on your bed by eight.

The next day your headache had progressed, you had taken an absurd amount of medication to ease the pain that day, you ended up in the locker rooms with a Gryffindor beater.

And now here you were already a quarter bottle deep of firewhisky staring at the list of names scrawled neatly on the tear stained parchment gripped tightly in your hand.

You glared down at the grounds so far below you, wondering what it would be like if you just jumped. You wondered who, if anyone, would actually care. You wondered if Marleen and her bitchy friends would laugh, you wondered if, some would say you deserved it. They probably would.

This brought a bubbly giggle to your lips, before the bottle you were holding drowned them.

You glanced back down at the list. So far you had crossed out two names you would never marry even with a wand held to your neck.

One was Lestrange, the other Malfoy. The thought of their hands touching you, lips on yours, made you gag.

You glanced back down at the list circling your current top choice, you would have to do some research on the names you didn't recognize, they must go to a different school.

You brought the cool glass of the bottle back to your lips, sighing slightly at the burning taste it brought with it.

You let a few more tears slide down your cheeks, one dripping lazily off your chin, you watched it disappear into the dark grounds below. For just a second it shimmered in the moonlight appearing to be a drop of pure silver, before it disappeared into the night.

You let out a heart broken sob before letting the stars see the bottom of your bottle.

Just then you heard a short cough.

You turned to see Sirius Black, he was adorned in a pair of black ripped jeans a queen t-shirt matched with his signature black leather jacket.

You glanced down at your own appearance, black skinny jeans, tares in each knee, white t-shirt that read "Fuck Off" in black letters and of course your signature black leather jacket.

He so seemed to be eyeing your appearance. Yiu suspicions were confirmed when he spoke, "I see you've copied my style y/l/n."

"You wish," you laughed, "I'm pretty sure your the one copying my style."

He rolled his eyes before walking to your side and staring down at the shimmering of midnight dew on frosted grass.

"What is Sirius Black doing alone up in the astronomy tower at night?" You asked curiously, offering him your bottle which he took, downing a quick swig, grimacing slightly.

"I could ask you the same." He huffed glancing at you, taking in the wetness of your cheeks and red tinge in your eyes.

"Well I asked first." You pointed out before glancing at him as he brought the bottle back to his lips.

Sirius shrugged passing the liquor back to you. "I guess I just needed some alone time."

"Guess I ruined that, didn't I." You smirked lazily.

"Nah," Sirius sighed waving your comment away with his hand, "I didn't have a fire whiskey anyway." His smile was dopey, his hair drooping in front of his stormy grey eyes.

You let out a giggle, taking another swig from the bottle.

"So why are you up here." He asked teasingly.

You grimaced taking another sip.

Sirius waited for a response for a minute but as he watched you avoid his gaze he realised you weren't going to answer. He sighed sadly, "Come on, you gotta be drowning something with that shit." He motioned to the bottle your lips were closed around.

You chuckled lazily, "Myself I guess."

He let out a snort, something you've never seen him do, you simply assumed it was the alcohol getting to him.

Sirius glanced at your paper and before you could whip the list away he gasped.

"Why is my brother on your list!?" He asked in alarm.

You said nothing feeling tears reach your eyes, the last thing you wanted was someone you barely knew knowing what was slowly tearing you apart.

"And why is his name circled!?"

You cringed tears pricking your eyes, Sirius glanced at you, flushing a bit at your glassy eyes, you weren't one to show emotions, seeing you smile alone was a rare opportunity, that was if you only counted sincere grins, not deadly smirks. But crying, he couldn't recall seeing you crying or hearing of you crying from anyone, he figured that you had about the emotional range of a teaspoon.

But here you were tears sliding solemnly down your cheeks, moonlight causing the drops to shimmer like rare gems.

"Is this some sick kill list or something?"

No response, just tears, leaking silently from your deep y/e/c eyes.

"Because if you mess with him I swear-"

A choked laugh escaped you crimson lips, your tongue swiping some lipstick from them. "I'm not going to hurt you brother." You then handed him the note and turned, your back facing the window you were gazing from and sliding to the floor.

Above you Sirius eyes widened as he read the note left by your mother before processing the list below.

He glanced down at you, your mascara was leaking slightly from the corner of your eyes, your hair was a bit tangled, your hand wrapped around the neck of your bottle as you brought it to your lips, leaving a bit of deep red lipstick on its rim. He recognized the look on your face. It was completely vacant, despite the tears, no emotion lived in your features.

Your eyes blank and staring, mouth a straight line, not turning up or down. Your whole face was simply empty. Sirius remembered seeing that face in his mirror after he received a letter from home. And he knew that you felt how you looked. Empty.

He sighed, sliding to the floor beside you. Your long black nails came to your face furiously wiping at the tears on your cheek, refusing to meet his eye.

"I know this doesn't matter to you but 11 guys wanting to marry you is pretty good." Sirius shrugged attempting to lighten your mood

You emitted what was either a sob or a laugh, he couldn't tell, "There were more, my mom cut out the ones that she didn't think were 'acceptable'" you made air quotes with your hands.

"Damn." The Gryffindor huffed, "What does the circle around Regs name mean?" He asked he didn't want to push you but he had to know. Because for some reason, he didn't want it to mean what he thought it did.

You fidgeted with the end of your jacket, leaning your head back against the rock wall behind you. "He's my top choice." You mumbled, blushing a bit, another thing that Sirius had never seen you do, even when your sex life became everyone's life.

Sirius cringed, feeling dread soak into his bones and fill him to the brim, the idea of the y/h/c in front of him marrying his younger brother made him sick. "W-why?" He stumbled lightly over his words as they seemed to get caught in his throat.

You finally met his eyes, they seemed to swirl with different shades of grey like a hurricane with a black eye.

"I don't know." You voice was rough, sounded like it was a tap away from breaking, "Hes nice, polite, attractive. He's not a complete perv."

Sirius now wore a sly smirk, the corners of his lips curving up neatly, "You think Regulus is attractive?"

You rolled your eyes, "Yes, of course I do, jawline like that don't grow on trees."

Sirius let out a barking laugh, you could feel his shoulder shake beside you.

You exhaled loudly rolling your eyes again before handing the bottle to Sirius. He glanced at the almost empty bottle than back at you eyebrows raised in a silent question.

You shrugged, "High tolerance."

"You know that isn't good right?"

"No Black," you drawled sarcastically, "I'm as stupid as you are."

He smacked his hand to his chest and mimicked a shocked expression you felt your eyes roll instinctively in their sockets.

He dropped the act and chuckled finishing off the bottle with a final swig. "So if you think my brothers hot, where does that leave me?"

"God Black, don't you think your head is big enough already?" You inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Humor me." He smiled pulling out a pack of smokes.

You took a cigarette, holding it out for him to light, "Fine, yes you are extremely attractive."

He flashed a set of pearly straight teeth, the warm orange light from his lighter reflecting from them as he lit the smoke you held out to him.

"How bout me?" You asked after taking a huff and watching as the smoke from your exhale trailed away.

Sirisu hummed in confusion.

"You know, humor me, how attractive am I?" You asked nonchalantly.

Sirius suddenly felt color rise to his cheeks, he hoped you would blame it on the alcohol. The truth was no girls really asked him what he thought. Well that's a lie, they ask if he thought they were pretty all the time. Asked if he thought they were good enough. But never like this. They all cared, they would burst into tears if he answered wrong. They would hate him for an answer and love him for another.

But not you. You didn't care in the slightest. He could have said he would have rather fucked a lizard than you and you would have shrugged and continued with the conversation. And something about that made Sirius flush.

"Well? Don't tell me I'm that bad." You giggled, although your tolerance was high, the alcohol was definitely getting to you.

Sirius quickly gained back his charms, "My dear y/n, trust me you are gorgeous."

"Thank you." You smiled suggestively adding a wink that made Sirius stomach fill with wings.

There was a long pause, the sound of crickets and small frogs chirping faint in your ears. Smoke drifted from the room as a crisp chill filled the air.

Finally Sirius spoke, "So your really gonna marry my brother?"

You cringed at the word marry scratching at your wrist nervously, "I guess so. What other choice do I have?"

"You could leave." Sirius muttered putting out his cigarette on the wall behind him.

"No I can't." You all but whispered.

"Yes you can y/n, no offense but your parents are assholes, you don't need them."

"No Sirius!" You yelled voice loud and echoing off the open room, "I can't." Your voice had dropped once again, your words almost inaudible."I can't." You repeated face once again empty of emotion. He watched in horror as you put your smoke out on your own skin. He could hear it sizzle in protest for just a moment before the small orange glow disappeared.

"Why?" He asked annoyed, "What are you scared?"

"Yes!" You shouted. Sirius' eyes widened in surprise and for a brief moment fear as you turned toward him in anger. "You wanna know why I can't leave? Because last time I tried to leave I almost died!"

Sirius eyes filled with guilt. His annoyed look turning to one of pity.

"You think I haven't tried to leave? I have! The second my mom mentioned marriage I packed my bags! But when my mother and father caught me trying to sneak out they used two of three of the unforgivable curses on me to get me to stay!"

Sirius winced, feeling the pain from far away memories returning to him.

"So I can't leave. They'll kill me. I know they will."

Sirius said nothing. He simply sat staring straight ahead. You expected him to say some inspirational bullshit or just tell you to go for it, but he didn't. He just handed you another cigarette and lit it for you.

Your face had been sucked of all signs emotion except for one tear rolling slowly down you right cheek. It had cooled from the midnight air and now felt like a drop of ice slowly melting down your warm cheeks.

You could feel the alcohol slowly affecting you as if it was finally catching up with you. You could feel the rational parts of yourself drift away and just then it was occurring to you that you had been irrational since the long haired boy walked in. You turned towards him, head fuzzy, stomach buzzing, and he turned to you.

Your eyes locked grey staring into y/e/c as y/e/c stared into grey. You blinked twice, attempting to make a decision. All you could think about was how empty you felt. How much you wanted to feel something. Sirius could do that. He could make you feel something. Something.

Your lips connected with his sloppily, your nose bumping his, as you dropped your smoke, hands connecting with his hair as he fought for dominance in your mouth. You didn't taste anything but fire whiskey and cigarettes, nothing different than what you tasted of. His tongue explored your mouth as Sirius pulled you onto his lap. You felt his hands roam your body enjoying they pressure they held on your hips as his lips passed down your neck. Seconds before your memory fade to black, you remembered thinking how much different Sirius' hands felt on your skin than anyone else.

You woke to a familiar sight. Well by familiar you mean unfamiliar, but unfamiliar had become familiar to you. You could feel a warm arm wrapped around your bare waist, your head pounding behind your eyes as a bare chest pressed to your back.

You could also hear whispers. They were hushed and quick, you could only make out a few words.

"How did he-" a pause of mumbles

"That's so-" more incoherent words, "I mean what about the…" the murmurs sunk to low for your ears to pick up.

You opened your eyes slowly opened, you turned to see three boys who you recognized immediately staring at you. They all flushed realizing you were awake but before they could speak you brought your finger to your mouth.

"Be quiet." You hissed dangerously, wincing at the sudden stab behind your head.

They all nodded slowly, wide eyes trading for confused ones. You slowly slipped from the bed, doing everything in your power to not wake the boy sleeping next to you.

You let out a sigh of relief hearing Sirius snore quietly, something you found yourself thinking was adorable. You turned to see the three boys staring at you in awe, shot them a smirk as you gathered your clothes sliding on your panties and bra. You could feel their eyes follow you around the room, honestly you didn't mind in the slightest.

You turned after grabbing your jeans they were all bright red, James smirking as the other two refused to meet your eye. You felt your lips twitch into a wolfish grin.

"Enjoy it while you can boys, this will be the last time you see it."

James let out a hearty laugh as Peter looked away Remus blushing amazingly red.

"Except you." You pointed at the werewolf "You might see this again." You winked as he sputtered for words.

You slid on your t-shirt snatching your jacket from the ground. "Hopefully I'll see some of you again very soon." you winked, eyes locked with Remus as he grew impossibly warmer.

You then walked promptly from the dorm room, earning a few glances, but you didn't care, you walked swiftly to your own common room, muttering the password and entering. A few first years looked up before whispering to each other. You rolled your eyes heading to your dorm. You were greeted by a pissed off pair of deep brown eyes adorned in yellow robes.

"You said you would study with me this morning!" Harper scrolled you.

"I can still study!" You fought back, calling on to your bed.

"Please." Your friend scoffed, "Your hung over and what ever boy you got back from fucking is going to wake up and look for you."

You laughed, "Please."

"They always look for you because your too pussy to tell them you only wanted to get laid."

"Trust me this guy is not going to look for me." You assured her as you stood rummaging through your things for something to dull the pain in your head.

"They always look." Harper said with a roll of her eyes.

"This guy won't." You promised tossing back some advils you found.

"Is he dead?" She asked sarcastically.

"No."

"Then he'll look for you." She stated matter of factly.

"Look its Sirius Black he's not going to look for anyone." You sighed, and for some reason this realization brought you nothing but pain. The idea of him not caring hurt. But you weren't sure why. It's not like you cared.

"You slept with Black?" Harper gasped.

"Yes" you rolled your eyes, "Half the school has done it, it's not that big of an accomplishment."

Harper let out a magnificent laugh, "That's true. Now come on, if you can study, let's study."

It was in your firm belief that Sirius would not look for you, talk to you or even mention you, but boy did you wish he would. As you walked down to the library you found your self craning your neck to catch a glimpse of his glossy black hair or his dashing grin. But you saw no such thing, he didn't care. You reminded yourself, and neither do you.

You had run into the younger Black brother though. He had greeted you and Harper politely despite the Hufflepuffs half-blood status. He had even carried the books you had been struggling with for you. He walked you to the library sharing a small conversation before heading to breakfast.

"Are you gonna choose him?" Harper asked, "He gives off like a mysterious, proper sorta vibe."

You darkened slightly at the memory of choosing your betrothed, making Harper regret her decision on topics of decisions, mumbling an apology.

You waved her off, "I don't know." Your awnser was honest, you had no fucking clue.

"Well, I think Black is a pretty good choice, he's nice, he's polite, not to mention really hot." She shrugged attempting to lighten the mood.

"Yeah he is." You hummed thinking of a different Black.

Harper didn't miss the distance your eyes held. Something was up with you. Not just the shit with your family but something else.

But before she could ask a booming voice called out your name.

Both girls turned to meet eyes with four boys. Two hanging back slightly as the other two headed straight towards your table.

"They always look." Harper mumbled beside you, but you couldn't hear her over the rushing in your ears. Your heart began to speed as the pair of grey eyes you had looked for this morning shined brightly at you.

"Yes, Black?" You asked casually as if you didn't feel like suddenly throwing up.

"Left quite early this morning." He sneered playfully plopping into the chair next to you.

"Well your snoring woke me." You lied turning back to your work attempting to ignore the pressure his stare held on you.

"Also gave the boys quite a show." He shrugged, "Didn't know you were into Remus."

You ignored Harpers confused glance and Remus' flushing face behind you.

"Please." You scoffed, "We all know I'm flirty by nature."

Sirius felt his heart squeezed, he really didn't mean anything to you. Who cares you didn't mean anything to him. "I guess we do." He huffed feeling suddenly overwhelmly sad. He glanced up at you, your y/h/c hair framing your soft face, y/e/c eyes glinting your pretty pink lips pulled to a lopsided grin. God how he wanted to feel them against his skin again.

"Is there a reason for your visit?" You asked impatiently, not liking the queasy feeling that his presence gave you.

"Oh, umm y-yes." Siriua stumbled on his words. "I have your jacket." He shoved the leather jacket he was holding at you. "I think you have mine."

You flushed, "Oh, sorry, it's in my room. I can go get it I'd you-"

"Its fine." Sirius assured you, placing his hand on your shoulder. The touch felt electric, like a spark that will set off a bomb. Sirius eyes roamed you landing on the dark marks he left on the open skin on your neck. You bathed in crimson when you noticed where his eyes lingered.

"Sirius!" James voice brought him back to reality. The boy removed his hand from your shoulder and snapped his eyes back to your own.

"I'm, I'm sorry." He stuttered scratching the back of his neck.

"It's fine." You smiled weakly.

"So um I'll, I'll just go." He tumbled banging his knee as he stood, he swore as James let out a barking laugh.

"Wait what about your jacket?" Harper called after him.

"Just bring it to me whenever." He spoke hurriedly, he needed to get out of there.

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding when he exited the room.

Harper looked at your eyebrows raised.

"What?" You asked attempting to turn your attention back to your essay.

"You're blushing." She pointed out, "You never blush."

"I am not blushing." You huffed angrily even though you could feel your face glow.

"Yeah sure." Harper drawled eyeing you skeptically.

"I'm not!" You exclaimed.

"Totally." She said narrowing her eyes.

"Stop saying it like that!" You shouted.

"Like what."

You let out a frustrated whimper grabbing your things and heading for the doors. "I was not blushing!" You added quickly before retreating to your common room, cheeks still burning.

The next week was weird, it was like someone had flipped a switch to make you like everyone else.

Suddenly you became awkward and clumsy, you blushed and stuttered when you were nervous. It was all so strange and awkward and it was all because of him.

Sirius Blafk had done something to you. You didn't know what it was and you did not care for it in the slightest. Every Time you saw him you hated the way you looked. You suddenly began to wonder if your makeup was too dark or if your hair was too messy. When you passed him in the hall, you felt your throat close and your stomach do flips.

In charms you couldn't focus anymore. He was alway right across from you laughing with his friends and playing pranks on Snape. You were now constantly biting your long nails, something you had never done before, you had begun to find your mind wandering subjects you didn't want it to. It was if you had lost all control of your thoughts. And you had.

Sirius found himself in a similar situation. Suddenly your image planted itself into his brain and your voice rang in your ears. He saw you everywhere. The more he tried to get you away from him, the closer you became. He had become moody, everything would make him feel something, every little thing made him fight with an emotion, he wasn't accustomed to so much ... feeling. It was like someone had turned into a fourteen year old girl. It was terrible. To make things worse you were always with someone else, something that made him feel unexplainable fury. Every Time he saw you giggle with Avery or smile at Diggory his heart would clench, pausing slightly before he continued on, his mood soured. To make things worse Regulus never seemed to leave your side. He was carrying your books to class, sitting with you at meals, studying with you in the library. Why did Regulus get to do all that? Why did his little brother get to bathe in the light of your smile so often? That wasn't fair.

The rest of the marauders had noticed the long haired boys sudden mood changes. They had first though he had just had a bad day, but when a day stretched to a week, they had grown concerned. Remus was of course the first to identify the cause, with James lost in emerald eyes, and Peter busy being about as observant as a brick wall, it was pretty much his obligation to do so. He noticed the way Sirius's eyes lingered on you, how he soaked in your form as you passed in the corridor. He saw how Sirius would glare at boys you spoke to, specifically his little brother who seemed to be near you at all times. It didn't take the young werewolf long to put two and two together. Upon his new discovery, he began to pay more and more attention to you.

He noticed how you avoided Sirius at all costs, he saw the way you blushed when Sirius laughed around you. He also caught you staring across the charms room at the long haired boy when he wasn't paying attention. Everything you did confused him. Because while Sirius seemed head over heels, you either hated him or loved him. It was hard to tell.

But it wasn't for Harper. She knew you were in love with the older Black brother the second he walked into that library. You didn't even have to do anything. You simply looked at him and she could tell. It was like some alarm going off in her head, telling her what was up. When Harpet first realized this, she attempted to tell herself that she was wrong, it was silly, you didn't 'love'. But then she watched as you blushed and watched and avoided, and she knew you were deep in it. Harper was terrified to bring it up with you. She knew that in a way you already knew, but if she brought it up, made you truly realize, things could get ugly.

But she couldn't wait any longer. You had to see what was in front of you or you would only get hurt.

So now the burnet Hufflepuff, paced nervously in your dorm waiting for you to come in. She had a plan in her head, but it still didn't change the fact that she was a nervous wreck.

Most people would constantly tease their friend if they believed them to be in love, but with you love wasn't an option, you had obligations, not feelings. In fact, you didn't even believe in love. You treated it like some superstition. It wasn't real to you. Not like she could blame you, you were going to be forced to marry some guy you definitely didn't want to at age 17, your parents the same way, and their parents and their parents and their parents. It was a never ending cycle of loveless life.

Harpers frantic thoughts were interrupted by a loud thump. The girl turned to see you ditching your bag on the floor and huffing to your bed. You fell on to your mattress blankets ripping slightly like someone had tossed a pebble into a smooth lake.

"You okay?" Harper asked cautiously.

You sat up meeting the pair of green eye scanning you in concern. "Marleen is such a bitch." You stated beginning to pick at your nails.

"Can't disagree with that." Harper chuckled, "What she do now?"

"She said I was Sirius 'sloppy seconds' which makes literatly 0 sense. And now she's pinning after him again." You seethed angrily.

"You're in love with him aren't you?"

Harper's plan just crashed through the window.

"What?!" You exclaimed."In love? With who? Black!? Never!"

"Y/n/n, it's not a bad thing to be in love." Harper spoke calmly attempting to soothe your fury.

"I'm not in love! Love is bullshit!" You had how risen from the bed, your hand clenched into fists beside you.

"Y/n I see the way you look at him I'm not blind! You love him! You get all flustered and weird around him, and I know you know what's going on, you just are too scared to admit it."

"I'm not scared of shit. I know who I am and what I feel and I'm going to tell you this one time. I. Don't. Love."

"Everyone loves y/n!" Harper heaved, her eyes desperate for you to understand. How could you not see what was in front of you. But she knew you were blinded by fear. Fear of what most craved.

"What the hell would you know about love?!" Your voice echoed off the stone walls of the small room, reminding Harper of a jail cell.

"Clearly more than you!" She huffed back anger sewn delicately into each word she spoke.

"You will never know more than me you worthless HALFBLOOD!" You spat the last word of your damaging sentence as if it were a bitter taste you were attempting to ride your tongue of.

Harpera eyes flashed with fear. Not fear of some asshole who you had to kick the shot out of, not of Malfoy, not of one of one of the boys who had suddenly become aggressive in there chase after you. But fear oif you. She was afraid of you.

The fear left her eyes and was replaced by fury and disgust in a second. Harper walk straight to you practically shaking with rage and she slapped you across your face. You gasped head turning from the impact of her hand. When you turned back she was already practically out of the door. You felt tears slip from your eyes and you shrunk to the floor clutching your cheek.

It wasn't the pain that hurt. Well it was but it wasn't the pain from the slap. It was the pain that the look in Harpers eyes sent through you. It was the pain from the momentarily fear that ripped through her. It was the pain of you realizing you had just lost your only true friend.

Your body shook with sobs, the force of your tears making breaths hard to gather. Suddenly the door to your dormitory burst open.

"Holy shit y/n/n."

You could hardly hear the voice over the echo of your own sobs. But soon a pair of arms wrapped slowly around you lifting you slowly from the floor. You buried your face into the cloak of the boy who now held you in his arms. You took a sharp breath of alcohol and smoke, with an undertone of chocolate.

(Well fuck I hit the word limit. Click THIS for Ending.)

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