#i remember seeing this in a dream one time andy i genuinely thought it was real

[pink-octopede64]

big brain moment: what if worlds of wonder (company who made teddy ruxpin) made a talking mr toad? i can definitely see him telling stories and of course the others will accompany him like grubby with teddy

[quietmyfearswith]

thorned flowers ; andy barber x fem!reader

status — completed oneshot

word count —8,528  words

summary — in which andy barber mourns the loss of his family, until he finds another reason to be hopeful for the future.

warnings —SMUT, DARK THEMES, stalking, drugging (like putting some fertility things in their food and drink, oral (female receiving), unprotected penetrative sex, andy being sad, SOFT!DARK!ANDY, dubious pregnancy/breeding

pairing — soft!dark!andy barber x fem!florist!reader

a/n — DNI IF YOU ARE UNDER 18!,, this is my entry for @imanuglywombat​‘s “is that even a sex position” challenge. and the certain position was the special breakfast(you can find it liked in the smut part)... anyway here is the second oneshot for my folklore series! next is either a oneshot for the same series or a preference... feedback is appreciated!

tagging — @la-cey​ @pedropcl​ @iloveshawnieboi​

masterlist | series masterlist | join my taglist (please follow the rules)

As Andy drove closer and closer to the graveyard, he felt the sweat from his hands drop onto the steering wheel — making it even more difficult for him to grip onto the leather. The last time he visited Jacob was when they buried him a few months ago; the pain was too much for him to bear, making it difficult for him to go and visit his deceased son — the son he loved, cared for, and protected. The son whom he once had precious memories with was now gone.

It wasn’t that he had fully grieved his loss, but he was getting there. But he didn’t just lose his son in that fateful accident that happened nine months ago, he had lost — or more accurately, divorced — Laurie when she confessed that she still had doubts about Jacob’s innocence and crashed the car for she couldn’t believe the monster her son had become. Every ounce of self-control was used by Andy the moment he got the chance to speak with his ex-wife in the middle of her hearing; every curse word he knew was thrown at her for her brutal actions that led to his untimely death.

Now as he faces the aftermath of every single thing that has transpired over the past months, he couldn’t help but feel empty. Happiness was something he longed for; he once had it all, but a series of events reversed that situation quickly. He would do anything to once again look forward to going home, knowing that he had a loving wife and joyful child; instead of coming home to his house filled with silence and agony for it serves as a reminder of what he once had.

Well, maybe not what he had — it wasn’t perfect and the ideal picture he always dreamt way back then. A fresh start, he thought silently, a new start with someone who can fulfill my dreams.

Parking in parallel, Andy looked to see if there were oncoming cars before going down to enter the flower shop. The soft bell that hung above let out a small chime as he opened the door, his blue eyes scanning the different floral arrangements that were littered across the store. Roses, lilis, orchids, sunflowers — all of them looked and smelt lovely. It made him smile how pleasing to the eyes every bouquet was, making it difficult for him  to choose what to get.

“Hi! How can I help you?” A voice spoke up which made Andy turn his attention to the girl wearing overalls who just came from the back room. Once he quickly took in her appearance, though her face sweat a bit and her overalls had patches of greens thanks to the plants, he thought she looked adorable and cleared his throat, “I was hoping to buy some flowers.”

Smiling widely, she wiped her forehead with a towel draped on her shoulder as she said, “I’m happy to help,” She stood by the shelves as she pointed through some flowers, “These have just been arranged today. Oh! And these lilacs and peonies just came in today, too.” Andy couldn’t help but chuckle softly upon seeing how cute her excited state was. “If you don’t mind me asking, what’s the occasion or for whom these flowers are? Just so I could suggest a few things to you,” She turned to him after listing some of the fresh flowers she had.

“It’s for my son, I’m visiting his grave today.” Y/N wanted to smack herself; her shop was located less than ten miles away from the nearest graveyard. His gloomy, silent aura should have been a clue on how he was mourning, she thought. “I’m so sorry to hear that, sir. How an arrangement of lilies and roses?”

Following her as she walked towards the opposite side of the store where a shelf containing an arrangement of lilies and roses were displayed. With a nod, Andy confirmed, “I’ll take that please.” Grabbing the vase, she excused herself to move onto the counter. Placing it on the wooden surface, she went to get a watering can to place some more water for the flowers. Wanting to talk with her more, he decided to initiate a conversation, “Slow day?”

Peering her eyes up as she returned the can, she nodded her head a bit, “We’ve had customers, but there’s no rush, you know?” Mindlessly, he bobbed his head up and down as she continued, “Some are for their wives, some for their mistresses — but don’t tell!” She placed her index finger on her lips to make her point and the lawyer couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore and shook his head at her goofiness.

“And you’re the first to buy then go to the cemetery, usually they don’t come this time of the day,” She gasped upon realizing what she said; as she punched in his total she didn’t have time to analyze what she said, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry about that, sir!”

Eyes widening at her apology, Andy wondered why she was saying sorry for, “What for?” Looking down as she played with the denim material of her outfit she muttered shyly, “Well you know, I didn’t mean to bring you up. Or the whole cemetery thing.”

Catching her drift, he nodded and genuinely smiled as he reassured her that he took no offense, “It’s alright, you didn't mean harm with it, yeah?” She nodded as she changed their topic before she could embarrass herself any further, “Your total comes to $26.25; how would you like to pay?”

“Credit,” He curtly replied as he took out his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans; as he was inserting the PIN, he found himself wondering why she suddenly meant all business. Staring at her focused expression which included her lips slightly pursued gave him a faint clue that perhaps she didn't want to embarrass herself any further.

“Here’s your receipt,” She slid the paper across the counter; as she placed her hands on the glass jar to move it closer towards the customer, Andy placed his on top of hers as he too made a move to grab the vase. Surprised with the warmth and spark she felt when their skins grazed against each other, the florist shyly smiled as she moved her hands away from the vase, “Thank you for visiting us, sir.”

“Andy,” He introduced himself as he carried the vase with one arm as the other extended to her direction, offering to shake hands, “And your name is?” She shook her hand as she gave him her name — the lawyer repeating it as he liked how it rolled off his tongue. Disentangling their hands, Y/N fiddled with her hands nervously as the attractive man waved at her one final time as he left the store, not before promising, “Gonna see you real soon, petal.”

Placing the floral arrangement on the front passenger side, Andy couldn’t help but feel giddy with himself as he jogged to the driver’s seat. “Y/N,” He repeated to himself as he began the drive to the cemetery. In their short, yet sweet interaction, he couldn’t help but feel lighter upon meeting her. Could this mean something? He wondered as to why he was feeling this way with her.

Once he found a decent parking spot, he went out of his car with the flowers and walked to where Jake rested. “Hey buddy, how you doing?” Placing the flowers by the stone where his name was engraved, he sat by the grass as Andy looked up in the sky. “I’ve been doing good, I think. Work keeps me busy and I’ve been doing some outdoor exercise as an excuse to get out of the house.”

Picking at the grass as he recalls what has happened the last nine months, “And I think your middle school named something after you. Though I wasn’t paying too close attention to know what it actually was — sorry about that, buddy. But your friend Sarah, she asked for some of your things and clothes. Think she has, or had, a crush on you,” Exhaling deeply as he paused, the lawyer couldn’t help but mourn about the endless possibilities and chances his son would have had if it wasn’t for her.

“Anyway, Laurie has been sending some letters. I don’t if I should read them — part of me wants too, I still want to know if she’s doing well. But there’s this part of me that wants nothing to do with her, because of what she’s done to you, us, and because of what she failed to do,” Hooking his chin on the palm of his hand as he could feel the slight sharpness of his elbow against his thigh, he contemplated a bit, “What do you think I should do, Jake?”

Grass slanted towards the east as sharp gusts of winds prickled Andy’s skin which made him smirk slightly as he looked at the name of his son, “I take that as I need to be the bigger person and reach out to your mother?” When the grass was left unmoving, it was seen as a confirmation that his son did want him to reconnect with her. Nodding to himself, he guaranteed he would do so, “Okay then, Jake. I’ll do so.”

A softer wind brushed and swayed the flowers he bought, making it look even more graceful than it already was — which reminded Andy of the woman he met earlier. “And I met someone earlier, on the way here, actually.” His lips formed into a smile as he thought of how charming and sweet she was as he was being accommodated ; he wondered something out loud, “Do you think I should do uh, what term did you use? Shot your shoot? No, it’s shoot your shot, right?” He scratched the back of his neck as he racked his brain remembering how he’d be teased for finding it difficult to familiarize himself with this decade’s lingo, “Anyway, she just seems so kind and welcoming; and there’s something about her that makes me feel like I could have a second chance at happiness.”

Should his headspace not have been in a remorseful one, he would have found it frightening how it seemed the wind only moved the arrangement of lilies and roses in an almost ludicrous fashion. Whether it was a sign his child had sent him or something his mind was making up, he interpreted it as a sign he should go for it. “Guess I will shoot my shot, Jake.”

Kneeling by the slab of marble, his thumb was rubbing against his son’s full name as Andy sadly smiled, “I love you, buddy. See you soon.” Standing up, he walked away and to his car feeling lighter. Being able to go to his son was progress for the lawyer as he was slowly coming to terms with the events that happened. Reaching out to Laurie was also another way of him acknowledging the past and coming to terms with — and it would probably give him the closure he needed as he ventured on to the future.

The future, he thought, seemed to be brighter right now. And the sole reason why he thought that way was because of someone he had just met. Normally he would be rolling his eyes at the thought of love at first sight; but now things are different since he’s a changed man. Hastily exiting his parked car, he entered through the back door where he discarded his shoes and socks by the doorway. Flipping his laptop open, he opened his browser and searched for the name of the flower shop he visited.

This was far from the usual search engines — like Google or Ecosia — for this allowed him to know every single thing there is to know about what he searched. Usually, he would use this solely for work; and this was the first time he ever used it for his own selfish reason. Not only the reviews, location, and services offered by the flower shop appeared on the screen after a few minutes. The business and clearance permits were shown; but so did the owner's name appear. “Y/F/N,” He read out loud as he highlighted her name and searched again.

Social media accounts, educational background, cell phone number, and her address shown up in an instant. A smile settled on his lips as he took in everything there was to learn about her. Part of him was glad that she didn’t post too much of herself online for he couldn’t see how pretty she was — but he considered it a good thing for it wouldn't attract anymore competition or creeps. Flowers filled her feed and by reading through each and every one of her posts, relief washed over him upon knowing that these were flowers she arranged and were not gifts to her by a beau.

Peeking at her phone records, he noticed how there had been only a few register of incoming and outgoing calls — the fact that her most called number was of a restaurant that delivers had been slightly concerning for him — and digging into her text history, there was no hints that she was in a relationship. As he searched for her address online, it was brought to his attention how she lived not too far from where he was residing, in just twenty minutes he could be over with her. As he closed his laptop it was clear to Andy how perfect Y/N was for him — and that she would be the perfect woman for him to build a family with.

Going to the living room, he grabbed for the letters sent by Laurie. There were a total of four, and until now he hasn’t opened a single one. After reading them he was relieved to find out that she was doing well and that she wasn’t being mistreated by anyone over there. She also has repeatedly apologized for what she has done. Fear and uncertainty were just some of the two overwhelming emotions that affected her decision-making. Sentiments of how she misses their son and long for how they once were.

Grabbing a pen and paper, Andy then wrote his own letter in response;

Laurie,

I apologize for taking too long to reach out to you — it took me a while to come to terms with everything that happened. What you did came as a shock to me. I never knew about how still had your apprehensions about Jacob. I wish you would have talked to me about it, or even to him.  Perhaps by doing so things would have been resolved better.

I won’t lie to you so I will just tell you that I believe it was harsh of you to end Jacob’s life like that. He had so much waiting for him — so much potential and fire within him, and to see it all disappear breaks my heart. After his trial ended, I thought of it as a chance for all of us to have a clean slate — granted it didn’t feel like it — and have the chance to redeem ourselves and build another life for all of us. But I didn’t imagine for it to be this way — us divorced while you’re in jail and our son buried six feet under.

Nevertheless, I won’t dwell on what has been. I will focus on the future. Speaking of, I would like to apologize as well for shoving the divorce papers in you. It might seem like a “heat of the moment” decision; but I think we both saw it coming. Having our marriage and relationship built on a lie, it all would have led to this moment — one way or another. It was neglectful of me to lay it on you when you already had your plate full, but I guess there was just really no perfect timing for it either, no?

The frequency of my letters to you might vary, but rest assured I will write to you as much as I can. I hope that you will find peace and safety despite your current situation. I wouldn’t fully say that I have forgiven you for what you did, but I am on the path of reaching that point.

Take care always, Andy

As he folded up the piece of paper and slid it on an envelope, Andy felt lighter. Somehow there this part of him knew how shitty the content was. But that was what he felt. What he wanted to tell Laurie. Sealing the envelope, he then pasted a stamp on it then stood up to place the letter on his coat jacket; that way he won’t forget to drop it off.

Returning to his work desk, he then looked over the information he had collected. Another thing that the letter made him feel was that he has already made closure with his past; and now he can venture on and look forward to the future. And he sees one with Y/N.

*

Having worked at a flower shop for almost five years, Y/N almost memorized the frequent visitors of the cemetery. She always engaged in polite conversations with them. Another thing is that she noticed a pattern as well. If one visits every week, it was a sign that they have yet to come to terms with the loss of their loved one. Once their visits became less frequent, say with two weeks in between, she took it as a sign that, slowly but surely, they were getting over their grief and sadness. And when the gaps between their visits stretched over a month or so, it showed that they had reached the final stage of grief — acceptance.

That’s why as much as she enjoyed her small talk with the customers — which ranged from their daily activity to workplace gossip — she felt fulfilled for them once their visit became less and less frequent than their initial ones. Besides, there were always new friends that she could make along the way. It just so happens that Andy happens to be one of her potential friends. Having never seen him before and their brief conversation, led her to believe that the death of his son was fairly recent.

“Hey, Y/N,” His warm, deep voice rang through her shop. Fortunately, she was in the front checking the sales so far when he entered. It was exactly seven days after he dropped by her shop on his way to the cemetery — and then her hunch was somewhat confirmed. “Hi, Andy. how are you?”

He carried with him a tray with a couple of drinks — one was his preference for coffee while the other was her favorite kind of drink to start off her day. Placing it on the counter he smiled at her, “Busy day?”  Placing down the clipboard she was holding she rested both her hands on the counter, “It was, yeah. Wedding bouquets, centerpieces for events, any occasion you can possibly think of suddenly needed flowers. Not that I’m complaining! But I'm just thankful I’m gonna be having a break in a few.”

Laughing at her dilemma he then casually brought up, “Well I was in the coffee shop earlier and they gave me a spare drink,” Pushing the cup of her favorite drink to her, he offered it to her, “Do you want it?” Not wanting to seem ungrateful, she brought the cup to her nose, she smelt it and was surprised to find out it smelt like her favored drink. Taking a sip a bit, she smiled after she placed it down, “Thank you so much for it, Andy!”

Hiding a smirk, he simply nodded at her as he took a sip out of his own drink too, “I have two orders of flowers for today. White carnations on a small vase, and yellow orchids on one of those small boxes,” He pointed behind her, where mounted on the wall were some packaging ideas for the flowers. Nodding her head, she pushed the hot beverage aside as she got to work.

A slow, melodious song played in the background; and the lawyer just found it even more adorable with how she hummed along to it. While working on his purchases, she shifted her gaze to look at him. However, she quickly turned away due to the intensity of his stare — no one had ever looked at her with so much interest. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” She cleared her throat, as she tried to diffuse the tension. With every move she made while cutting the orchids to fit the wooden box, she could feel his eyes trailing her in an instant, “It certainly is.” Her eyes were focused on trimming up the stems of the carnation, so she missed the way he was looking at her and not on the flowers.

Placing the trimmed up carnations on the vase, she then grabbed for the watering can to fill them up a bit with water. “Here you go, Andy,” She shyly declared as she was done with the yellow orchids and white carnations. Heading over to the  cash register to punch in the items, he spoke, “Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?”

Shaking her head no, “That’ll be $45.17,” She turned the card machine towards him, “No plans tonight. Just gonna be staying in. How about you?” After entering the card details he was asked for, he slid his card on his back pocket as he joked, “Well I’m gonna try and stay in with you then.”

Hearing her giggle made him wonder if she realized how serious he was. He truly wanted to be a part of her life; and she didn’t even know the effect she had on him. Handing him the receipt, Y/N watched closely how Andy only grabbed for the white carnations, “Andy? Are you forgetting these?”

As she held the yellow orchids, he shook his head and smiled warmly, “They’re for you. I’ve read somewhere that they represent friendship.” Taken aback with what he said, she nodded her head and confirmed, “They do, yeah.” A hand then reached over as it caressed her cheek before settling it under her chin, lifting her head a bit to stare at his passionate eyes, “And I hope that this is a start of a beautiful one.”

His thumb tapped her jaw softly before letting go and walking out of the store; it was only then that Y/N managed to let out a breath she didn’t realize was being bottled up inside her. Holding the box with one hand as the other patted the flower’s petal, she spoke to herself, “I really hope that it is the start of one.”

“I’m going out with Y/N tonight, Jake,” Andy told his son as he sat on the grass after placing the wonderful arrangement she made near his name. “Well, it’s not really a date. She wrote down on her schedule app that she’ll go to the grocery store today during her break. So I’ll just casually bump into her there.” It was incredible that with today’s technology he was able to even see what was in her phone. Using it to his advantage, he tried to pattern most of his schedule with hers; and so far this was the first one that lined up.

As his legs crossed, his hands were rubbing against his shin while recalling what the past week looked like for him, “I also finally wrote back to Laurie. The letter I wrote might have been shitty but it’s still been a struggle for me to put into words what I feel.”

Like the last time, a cool breeze of wind prickled his skin even as he wore a gray henley, “You’re right. It was harsh. But I’m hoping that as time goes on, I’ll be more of a friend to her.” He once again found himself staring at the flowers and smiled, “I’m gonna be honest and tell you that I was planning to divorce her either way. It just wasn’t working out anymore, bud.”

Memories of their fights that happened in the garage so Jacob wouldn’t have to see them yelling at each other flashed through his mind. “And somehow I can’t help but think that maybe Y/N would have been the perfect stepmother for you. She’s really nice and sweet. Based on what she listens to, I feel like you two would have gotten along well.” Once again his heart aches at the thought of how his son had his future right in front of him, and yet it was all snatched away from him.

Kneeling down, his fingertips brushed against Jacob’s name, “Anyway, gonna let you know how’d the date go next week. I love you, buddy.” Walking to his car, he felt giddy at the thought of going to the grocery store. He never imagined doing something so mundane would make him feel this way.

Noticing that the Oreos had a two for one deal, she didn’t hesitate to grab two packs. Pushing the grocery cart down, she was proud of herself for not getting every snack she craved for. Stay on budget, she reminded herself mentally, you’re saving for that new laptop, remember? And that explained why she’d always buy what was on sale; brand loyalty be damned!

Checking her list, she now had toiletries, vegetables, a small selection of fruits, meat and fish, as well as her snacks and drinks. She even managed to buy rice that was on sale. As her eyes scanned for pasta, she let out a small huff how the last one was at the very top, pushed at the back. Standing on her tippy toes, she tried to reach for it — but as her nails scratched the container, it only pushed the item further away.

Feeling a warm body press against hers as they reached for the box, she turned around and was shocked to see it was Andy, “Here you go.” Grabbing the item from him, she smiled at him after placing it on her cart. “Thanks, Andy. would have ended up climbing my cart just to reach it.”

That’s dangerous! Can’t have you risking your body when it’s soon to be carrying our child, He scolded her in his mind. But what he really told her was, “Well we can’t have that happening; some are gonna think that you’re a die hard pasta lover.” They both laughed at what he said as they both walked. She noticed how he only had a basket with him that was filled with a few personal hygiene products and a reusable bag.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you shop here before,” She’s shopped at this market in different times and days, and not once has she seen his face before. Already having prepared an answer, he smiled, “Well this is further from my home. But it was on the way back, since I did just come from the cemetery.”

Shaking her head as she cursed herself, she turned to him to express regret, “I’m sorry for that. It seems like I always unknowingly bring that up.” Bopping her nose with his finger he reassured her, “Like you said, unknowingly. You didn’t know that it would somehow lead to that — so don’t sweat yourself about it.”

Bashfully, she just kept her head down as she lined up for the cashier. Andy didn’t follow her directly as he opted for the self-service check out. Still, after he was done paying he waited for her at the end of the lane. When he noticed that she struggled to carry her items, she took two of her bags — leaving her to carry only one.

“Andy! Let me get it, there’s no need for you to do that,” She tried grabbing for her bags as they walked out of the market. Bringing the bags to his side so she wouldn’t reach it, he stuck his tongue out, playfully, “No way! Plus these are too heavy for you. So allow me to be a good citizen and carry it for you okay?”

Deciding that it wasn’t worth her time and energy to fight him, she just nodded and began to silently lead him to her car — but what she didn’t realize was that not only did the lawyer know what kind of car she had, but also where she had parked it. “You know it feels like I’m taking advantage of you.”

What she said had him interested as they both neared her vehicle, “And why is that?” Opening the trunk of her car, she placed the bag she carried before reaching over to him and grabbing the ones he brought, “Well you buy flowers from me — and this morning you even gave me one — and then you carry my things like you’re my servant.”

Oh if you only knew, love, he thought to himself. But he smirked at her as he closed the trunk before placing his own bag then resting his elbow on the car, “Well how about a repayment then?”

“Done! Your next order, or orders, of flowers are on me.” Her quick response had Andy laughing, “I didn’t mean for it that way, petal.” The nickname he used had her stuttering for a bit as her brain felt like it was being transformed into a melted mess. “What’d you mean then?”

“How about we text? You know, we exchange numbers and just get to know each other a little better,” For some reason Andy felt nervous as he proposed the idea. Insecurity lingered on his head as he tried to gently weasel his way in. But it brought him comfort when she smiled and nodded, “I’d love that, Andy!” While she grabbed for her phone that was in the pocket of her leggings.

He already had her number registered in his phone, it was only for formality’s sake that he put in his number on her cellular device so as not to raise any suspicion. “I look forward to chatting with you,” She giggled at the term he used, causing him to raise an eyebrow at her. “I just found it silly how you said chatting. It’s silly, really.”

Placing a hand on his chest as he pretended to be offended, he defended himself, “I may not use today’s terms but I sure am a great person to have a conversation with.” Chuckling, she just bopped his nose before heading to the driver’s seat, “Only one way to find out, yeah?”

Nodding, he winked at her before grabbing his bag and heading on over to his car, “Only one way. See you soon, Y/N. Take care on your drive.” As she entered her car, she unlocked her phone and sent out a text to Andy:

take care as well, Andy! thank you once again for helping me out :D ‘til next time!

Placing her phone on the seat beside her, she turned on the engine and was preparing to leave when she heard her phone chime. Surprised with how quickly responded, she then decided to read the message now:

Can’t imagine this will be the last time I’ll be helping you out. (I’m kidding of course! Unless…)

Shaking her head at his goofiness, she began her journey back to the shop where she decided it would be best to not reply to him right away. They’ve only interacted twice but she couldn’t help but find him attractive. He had this charm in him and the way he carried himself was amazing. It also helped that he was pleasing to the eye and quick-witted. Perhaps this could be more than just a friendship; but Andy had already had an entire plan hatched out in order for that to happen.

*

Andy was having a bad week. He wanted to have gone to visit Y/N on Wednesday since those were the days of when he had previously visited her. Granted, they have been texting throughout the previous week, it still doesn’t compare to seeing her actual face and getting the chance to touch her skin. But having been swamped with work since he was assigned to a massive, imperative case; and now that it was almost being resolved, he thought to unwind and relax. And what better way to do so than spending time with his best girl?

The moment he stepped foot in her floral shop, his sweet, positive attitude he had quickly turned out to be a sour one. “Andy, hi!” Her excited voice made him put on a fake smile, stopping his earlier activity which was piercing daggers through the back of the man’s head she was earlier talking to. Cautiously, he stepped forward to stand behind the till as the man stood off to the side as he held out his hand, “Hey, man. I’m Scott Lang!”

“Scott here just delivered the flowers,” She pointed to the crates of flowers that she has yet to unpack. “Oh? And he’s still here because?” Despite being serious, the two took it as a joke and just laughed it off. Scott even hit his palm against Andy’s muscular bicep as he threw his head back laughing, “Well I was just catching up with Y/N, it’s been awhile since I got assigned to her little shop. And i’ve got a few more deliveries to make, so I’m gonna go ahead.” The relief that the lawyer had when Scott waved goodbye was short lived for he heard him call out to Y/N, “I’ll see you on game night, okay?”

It even pained him when she nodded her head while she placed her elbow on the crate on the counter, “So, Andy, what can I get for you?”

“White chrysanthemums on that white box, please,” Patting down his pants, he shook his head and scowled, “Shoot, I forgot my wallet in the car. Hold on, I’ll be right back.” He didn’t even wait for her reply as he was quickly heading out the door. Looking to his right, he noticed Scott’s delivery trunk and how he was reading something off a tablet as he stood with his back leaned against the door to the driver’s seat.

Scott was taken aback with the sudden force on his shoulders, prompting him to look up from the tablet and on the face of the man he just met, “Andy? What?” The bearded man had his hands pressing onto his shoulders, shoving the delivery man even more into the car’s material, “Stay away from, Y/N.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Leave it to Scott to find the current situation he was in hilarious as he chuckled out his response. Andy, however, didn’t find humor in the situation; the intense gaze his eyes trapped Scott in partnered with the firm grip he had on his shoulders made it clear how serious he was. “You heard me,” He spoke after gulping down the tension he was bottling up, “Stay away from Y/N; she’s mine.”

Breaking into a heartfelt smile, Scott cooed, “Did she tell you about her crush on you? Are you finally together? She has been gushing to me and Hope about how nice and handsome you were being.” At his statement, the lawyer released his solid grip on the man; confused at what he said he questioned, “She said that? Who’s Hope?”

Chuckling at his confused state, Scott playfully hit his arm, “Hope’s my wife! She and Y/N are close friends you know? And my daughter, Cassie, absolutely adores Y/N. We try to have her over as often for game night. We’ve only seen her once in the past few weeks, and she talked our ears off about how great you are!”

Andy could feel himself getting all shy and warm with how his girl was crushing on her; Scott shook his own head as recollection of how dreamy his florist friend was at the thought of this man. And to think he was being the same right now! The expression he had on his face also gave him a clue that two weren;t officially an item yet. With a final nod, he hopped into his van, “Next time I see the two of you, you better be a couple already! ‘M sick of this pining and puppy dog looks of love!”

Laughing out, Andy shook his head as he waved off to Scott who was already driving away. To think that I saw him as a threat, he scolded himself as he began walking back to her shop, when all this time he was a big help.

“Hey! You found your wallet?” She inquired upon seeing his smiling face walking right back in her shop; she thought that he looked even more handsome in that state — there was something about him sporting a boyish look despite looking dignified made her undergarments wet. Nodding, he moved to the counter and admired the arrangement she had made, “Wow! These look wonderful, Y/N. How much do I owe you?”

“Just $19.35. So, you finally got a break from your big case huh?” Tapping his credit card on her machine, he nodded as he let out an exaggerated sigh to which she giggled at, “Finally! I think my back’s starting to ache from all those long hours of sitting down!”

Pushing the floral arrangement to him, she decided to tease him, “You sure it’s not your old age catching up to you?” With wide eyes, he feigned offense as he gasped out loud, “I’ll have you know I am extremely handsome and even look young for someone my age!”

“Don’t I know it,” She mumbled lowly, but still wasn’t soft enough for the lawyer to miss. So he asked her with a smirk etched on his face, “What was that, petal?”

Like a deer caught off guard by headlights, she shook her head, “Nothing! I didn’t say no thing.”

“Well that’s a double negative; so it definitely means you said something,” Both his hands grabbed for one of her hands from across the counter as he held it delicately, “What kind of tree can you fit in your hand?”

Unsure where this was going, she asked, “What? What kind?” Bringing her hand up, he placed a gentle kiss on her palm before answering, “A palm tree, of course!”

Snatching her hand from his grip as he said his joke, she laughed as she teasingly chastised him, “You and your dad jokes, Andy! I swear to God!” Loving how flustered she was, he decided to tease her even more, “Does that mean you’ll call me daddy?”

By now she was a stuttering mess, “Ha, very original, Andy.” Bopping her nose, he bid her adieu as he carried out the arrangement out of her store — walking away with a wide smile on his face. Now feeling more relaxed than ever.

Giddily, he placed the flowers by the top right end of Jacob’s grave as he sat down and told his son, “You’ll never believe what I found out today, Jake!”

*

Are you busy tonight?

Andy bit his lip in anticipation as he stared at his phone, waiting for a reply. Considering how it was just 3 in the afternoon, he gave her the benefit of the doubt that she was busy with the flower shop — maybe counting her inventory or checking her sales. His blue eyes lit up when she replied:

well depends on who’s asking :P but after work i have no plans…

Perfect, Andy thought. He had enough of waiting and he’d like to think that his plan was working out well. They’ve been texting each other consistently for the past two weeks and whatever she hasn’t told him yet, he already knew thanks to his research. She also began to open up to him and so has he. The more he got to know her, the more he was assured that she was the right person for him to begin a new chapter of his life with.

Would you want to come over for dinner then?

Y/N’s breath hitched as she read his text; she was in the middle of watering her flowers when that invite dropped onto her like a ton of bricks. Over the past few days that they’ve gone talking, she felt herself getting more and more attached to the older man. In her mind she had doubts about if this was just a simple dinner or a proposal for a date — so she voiced out her uncertainty:

i will if you answer my question… is this a date? or just like a simple dinner??

Andy had to laugh at her question — she must have been confused and understandably so. So he decided to smooth things out:

If you’re fine with it, it’s a date. But if you’re not, it can be just a friendly dinner.. No pressure on anything, petal.

Squealing as she twirled around, Y/N had to compose herself before sending out a text:

well looks like we’ll be having a date later, andy… can’t wait to see you!

Thankful that time cooperated as it went by quickly, Andy looked over the table one more time — he lit up candles to make the scene even more romantic, brought out napkins to make it seem even fancy, and added some of the flowers he had bought from here the previous day.

Hearing the knock on his door, he put up a bright smile as he opened the door and greeted her, “Hello, petal.” He stood at the side and let her in. surprising the two of them, Y/N surged towards him and hugged him; but it was a welcome surprise as he too wrapped his arms around her.  “Missed me too much, hm?”

She could only hit his arm lightly as she shook her head. Sliding her coat off her body, he hung it on his coat hanger and guided her to the dining room. “Smells great in here. Is that,” She trailed off and looked intently where Andy removed the cover of the pot to reveal her favorite meal.

“My favorite!” She gasped out loud excitedly, “Are you a mind reader, Mr. Barber?” She squinted her eyes suspiciously at him. “Well that is exactly what I am, petal! How did you find out?” Though she took it as a joke, Andy knew better that it wasn’t her mind that she read; instead it was her entire online profile that he monitored.

With that, they began dinner that was filled with laughs and chatter. It seems that despite their difference in age, they always found something to talk about. “Wait, so you really hid your cousin’s clothes in the freezer?”

Nodding her head, she drank the last bit of the wine before answering, “She had it coming her way! She told me I had no chance of marrying Harry Potter!’ There was a baseless jealousy forming in the pit of Andy’s stomach, but he reminded himself that it was just her silly, childhood crush.

“Let me help you with that,” She offered once she noticed that Andy was clearing up their plates. Waving her off, he shook his head as he told her, “You’re my guest — more accurately, my date,” At the reminder of that, she looked down on the floor and Andy smirked, “Why don’t you go wipe off the table instead?”

Nodding, she proceeded to do so as a pleasant silence hung over them; Andy loaded the dishwasher as Y/N wiped off the table. Heading to the trash bin, she threw the trash and the paper towels she used —leaving her to stand beside Andy.

“Look at you, like a real housewife,” His comment had her taken aback. She didn’t know why, but part of her was delighted in the idea. “My, Andy, this is just our first date and you’re already thinking of marriage? What’s next? You wanna knock me up with your kid?”

Oh petal, you have no idea, do you? Andy smirked mentally, but his hands circled around her waist as he laid a gentle kiss at her nose, “And if that is my long term plan?” Pursing her lips, she could only tilt her head down; though it might be too soon for what he had said out loud, there was a tiny part of her that wanted that.

Lifting her head up with a hand, he smirked down at her, “I’m guessing you do want that, do you, petal?” She gave a slight nod which only fuelled Andy’s lust as he kissed her feral, leading her to walk backwards onto the dining table. She gasped as she was being lifted up to sit on the mahogany; granting the lawyer access to let his tongue enter her mouth. He groaned upon relishing the sweet taste that was her while his nimble fingers brutally tore the fabric of her shirt, “No bra? Why petal, were you hoping the date would end this way?”

She shook her head but quickly stopped as she let out a moan when she felt his lips and teeth nip at the skin of her breasts. Her hands clawed at his hair as he sucked on the nipple. “God these will fill up with milk,” He groaned out, but it was too indistinct for her hazy brain to fathom.

His lips trailed down to her stomach as he groaned against the flesh of her stomach, “Such a glorious stomach.” Upon feeling the coarse hairs of his beard, she giggled against him which allowed her to miss his husky moan of, “Gonna swell up with my seed.”

“Andy, please,” She moaned when his lips pressed kisses along the hemline of her pants. “Since you asked so politely,” He hastily shoved off her pants and panties in one go as he placed her thighs to rest on his shoulders, lifting her slightly off the table, while she planted her elbows firmly on the table. “Fuck!” The cuss she let out was dragged out caused by Andy furiously licking from her clit to the opening of her pussy. Her thighs trapped his face firmly, the rough texture of his beard contradicted his silky tongue lapping at the inside of her tight cunt.

“Can eat you all damn day, petal,” He caught the juices she was leaking with every flick of his tongue as his left hand rubbed on her hardened nub; while the other hand lowered his sweatpants until he was able to stroke his erect cock. Feeling her walls close in on his tongue, he smirked as he drove his tongue deeper inside her and rubbed her until she mewled out loud, “Fuck, Andy! I’m cumming!”

His beard was splattered all over his lower face, coating his beard. With a few more final licks, he let her legs fall from his shoulders and hang limply by the edge of the table. Standing up from the dining chair, Andy quickly removed his gray shirt as her hands weakly, but successfully, slid his sweatpants off legs. Her hands jerked his length while looking into him with desire, “Gonna fuck me real good, Andy?”

Loving the way she sultrily said it, he kissed her lips roughly as he pushed her by the hips, closer to the edge of the table. His right hand guided his cock to slide right in her, their tangled tongues moaned out loud upon being intimately connected. She tried to rut her hips against him, wanting to feel more of him. “Oh petal, let me do it for you.”

Both his hands settled on her thighs, using them as leverage to match his harsh thrusts as he slid in and out of her tight canal. Her walls gripped onto him tighter every time he slid back in, making him groan against the skin of her neck. The sting of her nails as they raked down on his back only added to his pleasure as it motivated him to plow her harder and faster, until she felt his tip hit her sweet, sensitive spot.

“‘M so close, Andy,” She whined, accentuating her point by digging her nails into his shoulders. Maybe it was the way she was piercing to his skin, or the way was falling apart under him beautifully, or the fact that he felt confident that after this she was going to be carrying their child, but it drove him feral which was evident when the table moved and shook in time with his relentless thrusts.

“Open that fucking cervix for me, petal,” He moaned out as his hand rubbed her swollen clit, “Let me shoot my seed in you.” Perhaps in the proper mindset, she would have viewed it as a red flag — bringing up marriage and having kids at the first date would have freaked her out. But in the heat of the moment, she found herself submissive and compliant with all his desires.

Her hands pushed his back closer to her, making her rub her stiff nipples against his chest as she begged, “Please, Andy. Cum in me.” And just as she moaned out the last word, she could feel her body tense as she clenched on his cock and cum at the thought.

Smirking, he continued his harsh assault on her pussy as pinched her clit to milk out more of her orgasm. Gasping out, she tried to restabilize her breathing — which was a challenge given that Andy was grunting wildly as his thrusts slowed down while the force remained. Feeling his cum fill her up surprised her, but she didn’t protest it.

Carrying her over to his bedroom, Y/N could feel herself getting tired from their activities. She willed herself not to close her eyes, but sleep seemed so enticing. The way Andy rubbed her back and lay her down on the bed gently didn’t help either. The lawyer smiled upon seeing the peaceful expression on her face; he kissed her forehead before reaching over to the nightstand and fish out the plug he bought and cleaned for her.

The plug was snug inside her as he slid his cock out. Laying down beside her, he cuddled her as he stared at her features, “I just know you’re gonna be pregnant, petal,” Her breathing was even and her closed eyes gave him the impression she was now falling asleep, “I checked your period tracker app, you should be ovulating now. Plus, I have been slipping some vitamins in your food and drink to help make you even more fertile.”

Wiggling around, his breath hitched when she nuzzled her face even more to his chest, “Goodnight, Andy,” Plus a kiss to his chest made his heart swell up even more. Smiling despite the joyous tears leaking in his eyes, he kissed her forehead once more before bidding her goodnight as they both slept.

“Here’s to new beginnings, petal.”

[egcdeath]

wrong place, wrong time

summary: a drunken mishap leads you to reconcile with someone from your past. (based off this prompt)

pairing: andy barber x reader 

word count: 2.1k

author’s note: this fic has been sitting in my drafts, half finished, for like months. i hope you enjoy!

warnings: extremely brief mention of cheating

“I just think things would be better if we… you know, saw other people,” Oliver explained through the phone. 

You sighed dejectedly into the microphone, before deciding to hang up, and aggressively tossing your phone onto the leather seat next to you. You’d already had a shit day at work, and you really didn’t think that you could handle all of this today. Especially considering that you were almost certain that there was the hint of a feminine giggle in the background of that call.

You’d been expecting this for a while, your relationship with Oliver had been falling apart- slowly but surely- for a few months now, and he was ‘working late’ way too many nights for you not to be the slightest bit suspicious. But it still hurt, you were now single, and you’d essentially wasted a precious year of your life with a douchebag who ended up leaving you anyway.

You pressed your foot on the gas, and began your drive back home, before telling yourself fuck it, and deciding to turn onto a side road so you could head to your local pub. 

-----

Several drinks later, you were extremely drunk. From that point on, everything was a bit of a blur.

You stumbled out of the bar (against your own will? You vaguely remember someone telling you that you needed to leave), sat in the back of an Uber (how much did you tell them? Probably too much), arrived at your home (but why weren’t your keys working?).

Things were a bit less blurry here. You can remember yourself repeatedly stabbing your keys into the door, and when that didn’t seem to work, deciding to hoist yourself over your fence, and get in through the back.

During this whole ordeal, you tripped over a seat on the patio, losing a shoe in doing so, and nearly fell into a pool, since when did my house have a pool? You ignored that thought, then opened the back door, getting in with no resistance. 

You hobbled inside, closed the door behind you, then stumbled up the stairs, before finally finding your (?) bedroom. You flopped down in bed before realizing that you really needed to pee, and as you went to go find your bathroom, everything seemed to go black. 

----

You woke up extremely disoriented in a vaguely familiar bathtub. It faintly smelled of pine, and possibly a hint of vanilla. The tub had a modern and sleek look, yet appeared to be as sterile as a hospital room. This was absolutely not your home. But it possibly belonged to someone you knew. The tiles lining the wall did seem to ring a bell somewhere deep in the foggy abyss of your hungover brain. 

As you sat up, you groaned due to the consistent pulsing in your head. This had to be one of the worst hangovers you’d had in a while, and you were lucky that you didn’t lean over and empty the contents of your stomach right that instant.

“Stupid fucking Y/N,” you whispered to yourself. “You’re lucky all of your organs are still intact.” After stating this, you glanced down at your torso just to make sure. But a larger question still remained, where were you? Did you hook up with someone? Did you just randomly break into someone’s home? That’s a little ridiculous. Who would do something like that?

Apparently, drunk you would. In the process of exiting the tub, you concluded that you absolutely were in someone elses' gargantuan of a home, and that that person was undoubtedly down the hall, taking a phone call. Also, you were definitely missing a shoe.

You glared at yourself in the mirror, smeared makeup on your face, hair that looked so frizzy that you may as well have been struck by lightning, and of course the overwhelming scent of dry liquor that seemed to be seeping out of your skin. You turned on the sink and splashed your face, trying to completely wake up, and to partially figure out if this was real life, or just a horrible dream. 

“Fuck!” you exclaimed out loud to yourself. How would you even get out of this situation alive? Perhaps you could find a window to jump out of. No, too dangerous. Hide in the bathroom until the man leaves? Well, everyone has to go to the bathroom at some point. Leave without being spotted? Mhm, very likely. Go talk to the homeowner? It doesn’t seem like you have any other option right now. You internally screamed at yourself for being so reckless, especially having gone through all of this drama for a guy who didn’t deserve one ounce of your attention.

You slipped off your remaining shoe, then slowly made your way out of the bathroom, peeking behind the doorway to see if the coast was clear, and trying to plan your explanation in the process. As you peered around, searching for the quickest and easiest exit, you realized just how familiar the home was. But what really did it for you was a painting on the wall. 

This was Andy Barber’s home. The same man you hooked up with a few times before ghosting. You sighed exasperatedly at your own poor decision making for what felt like the millionth time that morning.

You had to get the hell out of here. Fast. Lost shoe be damned.

You somewhat remembered the floor plan, so managing to get out unnoticed began to seem just a tad bit more possible. You began to jog it down the hall, trying not to be too heavy footed as you went, in the event that Andy was standing in the eyeline of one of the open doors. Unfortunately for you, in the midst of your beeline down the hall, you were spotted. 

“What the..? You know what Lynn, I’ll call you back in a bit.”

“I can explain! Don’t like… kill me or something. I promise you that this is just a big misunderstanding,” you were speaking without really processing anything that you were saying. You turned to face the man, and couldn’t help but to smirk a bit at the sight of him. You forgot just how attractive he was, with a full beard, fluffy hair, and soft blue eyes that seemed to be boring straight into your soul from across the room. Not to mention his sculpted body, which you swore you could make out beneath his sweatpants, and worn white shirt. Really, Y/N? First you ghost a man, break into his home a year later, and now you’re objectifying him? 

You moved towards the door and began to speak again, your words flowing out at a million miles per minute, “Uhm, so long story short, I basically got really drunk last night, and I thought your house was mine, so I kinda broke in. But I’ll be seeing myself out now,” You gave a curt smile, and looked towards the stairs. “Before I go, any chance that you’ve seen my left shoe somewhere around here?”

It was clear that Andy was very confused, but as you read his face, you could see that he was far more intrigued than angry. “Hey, not so fast.” He approached you quickly, his eyebrows lifting in surprise, and his mouth gaping open slightly. “No fuckin’ way. Y/N?”

You scratched the back of your head awkwardly and nodded, “yeah.” 

“You’re not getting off the hook that easily. Lucky for you, I was about to make breakfast, aaaand I’m not totally opposed to being joined,” he gave you a genuine smile, and a playful little shrug. 

“That’s fine with me but- this sounds kinda strange- can I use your shower first?”

“Go right ahead. Mi casa su casa, right? I mean, kinda sounds like that’s what you were thinking last night,” Andy peered at you inquisitively at this, “I’m just kidding. Feel free to use anything you need.”

You couldn’t even blame Andy for his passive aggression, but that didn’t stop you from sulking the whole way back into the bathroom.

----

“I forgot how good your water pressure is,” you announced while coming down the stairs, clad in a college hoodie that you’d found in the depths of Andy’s closet, and shorts that were just a tad too large for you.

“Thanks, I guess?” Andy flipped a pancake, then turned to get a good look at you. 

“You’re welcome. It smells so good down here,” you slipped into a barstool at his granite island, and observed him while he cooked, “so... you still live here alone?” You asked while you were passed a mug of coffee.

“Well, yeah. I mean that’s kind of what happens after your wife and son die.”

“Uhm.. sorry. For bringing that up again,” you glanced down awkwardly at your dark drink. 

“It’s okay, they’ve been gone for a while,” he sat down at his seat, setting down a plate of food for you and himself. “What’ve you been up to? Apart from breaking and entering, of course.”

“Ha ha, very funny,” you began, cutting into a syrup-soaked pancake. “You’re no saint either. I can’t think of anyone in their right mind who would gladly break bread with someone who drunkenly broke into their home.”

“That’s fair,” Andy stated, almost dismissively. “But it's not like we’re total strangers. We have history.”

You scoffed at this, “like hell we do,” you muttered. “Anyway, things with me have been pretty boring. Same job. I had a boyfriend, but he just dumped me like, 12 hour ago. I’m pretty sure that he’s been cheating on me for like, the past four months.”

“That sucks,” Andy commented, shoveling a piece of pancake into his mouth. 

“Yeah, it does. How about you?”

“You know, same old. Still an ADA, still getting messages from random people about that trial, and of course, still perpetually lonely.”

“By no means do I mean to impede, but maybe you’d be a little less lonely if you let people in,” you suggested, looking up from your food to Andy, whose face gave away the offense he was feeling, “I said maybe.”

“What do you mean?” He questioned, brows furrowing.

“Come on, Andrew. You know exactly what I mean. Like with us, I thought everything was going perfectly well, until I was half asleep and you were telling me that you weren’t ready to commit. Literally moments after you were balls-deep in me.”

“Don’t call me that, Y/N,” Andy squinted at you in agitation. “Is that why you stopped picking up my calls?”

“What do you think?”

He sighed softly, “If it’s any consolation, I’ve been trying to do better. I talk to a… counselor… every now and then. Everything’s just been different ever since they passed, you know? It’s hard to form connections after your most intimate ones disappear in the blink of an eye.”

You frowned a bit at the man, and set down your fork. “I get it. I’m sorry.”

“Do you, though? Get it?”

“Not really. I was just trying to be supportive,” you turned a bit in your seat to get a better view of Andy. “I just wonder if we had this conversation a year ago if you and I would be in a better position now. I really liked you a lot.”

Andy was silent for a moment, and observed you pensively. “Let’s try again, then. It seems like you and I both are ready for something new.”

“Oh Andy,” you rubbed the back of your neck anxiously. “I just got out of a relationship less than a day ago.”

“Then we can take this, whatever it might end up being, slow. It would be nice to have a friend around who doesn’t just want to talk about work, and tell me that they’re sorry for my loss.”

You nodded, “I’ll probably need a shoulder to cry on at some point sooner than later.”

“So... friends?”

“Friends,” you agreed with a smile and a lift of your shoulders. 

Part of you hoped that maybe, just maybe, this could be the start of something great.

[itmighthavebeenintentional]

We've Got Tonight - Ch 6

Summary: “It’s not your job to do this, Andy. You make people happy. I was in the diner all of ten minutes, and you knew exactly how to get me to smile. You do normal, real things like garden and sing karaoke. Saving the world is my job, Sam’s job. Sometimes it’s even Cas’s job, but it’s not yours.”

Inspired by Bob Seger’s “We’ve Got Tonight”

Warnings: Major Character Death, More Major Character Deaths (sort of?), higher than show level violence, blood, light smutting, language, demons, apocalypse, inferred suicide, cult activity.

18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT PROCEED

Author’s Note: Image and major edits by the incomparable @there-must-be-a-lock . Heavy editing and cheering by @thoughtslikeaminefield . Thank you both so much.

The next chapter is the last part. I'm truly sorry.

In case you missed it: Chapter 5 ItMightHaveBeenintentional’s Masterlist

We’ve Got Tonight

Chapter 6

“Cas, you’ve got to listen to me.”

“I’m sorry, miss, I think you have me confused with someone else. My name is Agent Michael Jagger.” Castiel’s bewilderment is so endearing and familiar that Andy nearly loses her composure.

She grabs his hand, pulling him uncomfortably close, and she can see suspicion dawning amidst the confusion. She tows him to the back area of the restaurant, technically for staff only, but she doesn’t figure petty rules like that matter just now.

“Listen, Miss, you’ve shown interest in my partner and scheduled time to socialize with him later. While I do understand that you are traditionally attractive, I really-“

“I need you to listen, and then I need you to look. Do you understand?”

“Not even a little.”

“That’s okay, hun, neither do I.”

And then she tells him everything. He can only stare at her silently afterwards, his mouth working as if he’s lost the ability to speak.

“Read me, Castiel. You can see if I’m telling the truth. Hell, go deeper and see what I’m telling you. Please, it won’t hurt anything if I’m lying, and if I’m telling the truth, you and I can save them. Please, please, I’m literally begging you. Just look.”

Castiel gingerly slides his fingers into her hair until the heels of his hands are resting on her cheekbones and his thumbs rest on her temples. His eyes slide shut, his face going just a little slack, and then he’s there with her in the memories, memories that faded with the sunrise but seared themselves permanently on her brain the second she saw the three of them again. She knows the moment he sees his own death because his body convulses ever so slightly, but he holds on until the scene plays out and she takes her last breath in the dream.

His eyes snap open and unerringly find hers.

“How is this possible? Who are you?”

If she didn’t have those weeks of memories, she might be afraid of him right now.

“Cas, you know who I am. You saw me. I have no more idea why this is all happening than you, but we’ve got this second chance, and we have to take it.”

He eyes her cautiously, but his mistrust is beginning to fade. “I’ve been fooled before. You could be hiding something, I suppose, but...I don’t think you are.”

Relief floods over her, though a bitter tinge underlies the sweetness.

“You believe me?”

He nods reluctantly, his dry lips thinning unhappily. “I saw your plan. Are you certain this is what you want to do? Do you think it will work?”

“Well, Cas, you can see I don’t have the best track record with plans. Can you think of anything better that leaves the world intact and you, Sam, and Dean all standing?”

Even though she knows what his answer will be, her stomach still drops a little when he shakes his head.

“Yeah, me neither. It was worth a shot.”

He searches her face without suspicion this time, only a deep, genuine sorrow. “I wish I could have had those weeks with you, Andrea. In the vision, you were a good person to spend time with.”

“Call me Andy, Cas. I swear, I never could get you to call me Andy.”

“But your name tag-”

She cuts him off with a kiss to the cheek. She holds back everything else she wants to say to her friend-that-never-was. It wouldn’t make any sense to him now, on this side of their non-existent time together, and it wouldn't make either of them feel any better. She hands him a piece of torn paper from her order pad, this one larger than the one she gave Dean.

“Check the memories you read off me to be sure, but I remember the ritual starts at midnight tomorrow night. They took me from the Brass Monkey not long before then. You can investigate if you need to, but I would bet that they’ll be at the first address I gave you a few hours before then, say eight or nine o’clock, getting everything set up before they come to snatch me. You know what you and the guys will need to take them out; without my blood and the ritual, they’re still dangerous, but they’re only human. Tell Sam and Dean whatever you need to get them there, but...I don’t think you should tell them what you saw. I think everything would get too muddled, and we’d end up right back at the same crossroads with Crowley.”

“Are you sure it’s wise to still meet up with Dean tonight? What if-”

“Everything has happened the same way so far, Cas, down to Sam nagging Dean about vegetables. And I’ve got to give myself something,” she says, her laugh a little more desperate and hysterical than she intended. “I can’t just...Look, just give me this one night, okay? I think I deserve that. I think Dean deserves that.”

He glances from her to the scrap of paper in his hand. She notices that his lips move a little when he’s reading, and she thinks that little quirk suits him just fine.

“Why is there a second address?”

Thanking whatever higher power gave her this second chance and the ability to keep the fallen angel out of even a few of her thoughts, she turns away from Castiel, moving towards the sink to start on some dishes that someone has let pile up. She’s under enough strain right now that she can’t disguise her expression anymore, and she honestly doesn’t think she can handle the sadness in his eyes for one more second.

“I’m going to keep myself out of the way this time; I have no intention of starting another apocalypse. I’ll stay in tomorrow night and triple lock every entrance to my apartment until you tell Dean to call me and give me the all clear. That’s where you’ll find me when the job’s done. And, Cas?”

He pauses in the doorway, looking back at her with a tortured expression she never sees.

“Remember, we can’t leave any loose ends this time. That’s how you get more apocalypses.” ...

She’s ready and waiting for Dean when he walks in the bar. She can tell he’s taken a little effort with his appearance: his hair is freshly styled, he’s wearing a button-up that isn’t a flannel, and - wonder of wonders- he actually shaved. Having spent an extra minute or thirty on her own primping, she is pleased when his eyes go a little wide as they rake over her seated form.

“I already know I look good, but damned if you didn’t just make me feel edible,” she quips.

She is rewarded with the warmth of his smile as he takes the stool next to her. She’s pleased (but not surprised) when he brushes a kiss on her cheek in greeting. She sips her drink as he orders one of his own, and then they turn on their stools to survey the crowd. He leans a little closer to say something, and she hears him inhale when he gets near.

“You smell amazing. What is that?”

She grins behind her glass. Dean Winchester is not one to comment on a woman’s scent, at least, not in such an innocent, non-sexual way. And yet, both times around, he does just that.

“Lavender and clover blossoms from some boxes on my balcony. I clip some fresh bits sometimes and rub them on instead of perfume. Smells cleaner, less suffocating.”

“I like it.”

They talk about little nothings and nonsense for the next few minutes, favorite bands and movies and foods and anything she can think of just to listen to him talk, to experience him a little more. She doesn’t remember being able to make him laugh this much before, and she thinks maybe she’s doing just a little better time around.

“So, what’re you gonna wow me with?” he asks, gesturing towards the stage with his half-full glass.

“I was thinking ‘Making Love out of Nothing at All,’ but you could probably talk me into ‘Lonely Is the Night’ or even ‘All out of Love’ if you get me tipsy enough.”

He laughs, a bright, weightless sound that cracks her heart in half. She can’t help leaning in and kissing him then, and he leans right back, blissfully unaware of the burden she’s struggling more and more to hide. She pulls away, and he opens his mouth to say something, but she pecks him on the lips again just long enough to stop him speaking.

“You don’t. But you could.”

There’s that smile.

They sit in companionable silence for several songs, sipping their drinks and listening to the other singers. She’s just about to go put her first song request in when he looks over at her, freezing her utterly with one side-long glance.

“How long?”

She can’t have heard him right.

“I’m...I’m sorry?”

“How long have we got? Do you turn into a pumpkin at midnight, or can I keep you out later?”

Oh. Oh, God, Dean, why?

“You know what? I think I might actually go for some Bob Seger. Come help me pick one out.” ...

Chapter 7 (end)

[pcttrailsidereader]

Death by Lightning on the PCT/JMT

By Carmen George

Excerpted from the Fresno Bee

First came an immense flash of bright white light, then a sound like a cannon exploding feet away.

Four backpackers’ thoughts quickly turned to the youngest member of their group, Nicholas Torchia, who was just behind them on their high Sierra backpack trip through the John Muir Wilderness of eastern Fresno County.

“He’s been hit,” said a man who dashed by the hikers, running toward nearby Muir Trail Ranch on July 30 to get help.

Nick Torchia

Torchia was just up the trail, lying beside a tree struck by lightning along the Sallie Keyes Cutoff, between the John Muir and Florence Lake trails. The electricity also traveled through the 37-year-old Fresno man.

A pastor and his friend, who ran for help, reached Torchia first, within 20 seconds of the lightning strike around 1:25 p.m. Torchia told them he was badly injured. The pastor, Andy Cornett, took his hand and assured him they were getting help.

“He thanked me and asked me to straighten out his legs,” Cornett later told his family. “That was the last he spoke.”

Cornett asked if Torchia could feel his fingers, feet and toes. He nodded. Cornett checked his body for external injuries, helped him lie flat, covered him with a blanket, and started attending to a head wound.

Around this time, Torchia stopped breathing and lost his pulse. The four people Torchia was backpacking with — three of his uncles and one of their friends — were now also by his side.

For hours after, however, his uncles and other hikers held out hope that Torchia could be revived. A group of around 10 people, including a pastor, a nurse, doctor, firefighter and emergency medical technician, took turns administering CPR for more than three hours. Some of those hikers came up from Muir Trail Ranch, located east of Florence Lake and about three quarters of a mile from where Torchia was hit.

Other hikers worked to keep Torchia’s body warm and dry, and an ultramarathon runner darted up and down trails retrieving supplies from Muir Trail Ranch.

“Their cooperation, compassion and patient work over those hours was a testimony to me of some of the best of what human beings can do and be for each other,” said Cornett, associate pastor of families at Signal Mountain Presbyterian Church in Tennessee.

The group hoped a search and rescue team might eventually deliver an automated external defibrillator that could jump-start Torchia’s heart, but ongoing storms and their remote location in roadless wilderness delayed an emergency response.

Jeff Holbrook, one of Torchia’s uncles who started the CPR, finally asked one medical professional what chance there was of an AED device being effective if delivered within a couple more hours. He quickly received an answer: “Zero.”

The group decided to stop the CPR. Torchia’s death was recorded at 4:41 p.m. July 30.

Nick (Center) with his three uncles and a friend

The group prayed over his body, and then carried him down to Muir Trail Ranch. A California Highway Patrol helicopter landed nearby that evening during a break in the storm and retrieved Torchia’s body.

‘No one made a mistake’ hiking back from John Muir Trail in Sierra

Torchia; his uncles Jeff, Tom and Bill Holbrook; and friend Terry McCurdy were returning from a backpack trip to Sallie Keyes Lake on the JMT/PCT in the John Muir Wilderness when Torchia was hit.

It was sunny when the group started their descent from the lake that morning. They had planned to camp at Muir Trail Ranch that night and then catch a boat ride across Florence Lake the next day to return home. The group started their trip together earlier that week.

Torchia and his uncles had been working to complete the entire 211-mile John Muir Trail over the past 10 or so years via annual backpack trips together.

Torchia’s uncles said he was struck when he was just seconds behind them on the trail, after the group stopped briefly to put on rain ponchos.

“He was the last to put on a rain jacket and go catch up with Bill, but he didn’t,” his mother Kathy Torchia said.

His family and Cornett aren’t sure how close Torchia was to the tree when it was hit, or how long he was near it. Jeff Holbrook thinks his nephew might have been adjusting some of his gear or eating a snack when he was struck.

Tom Holbrook described the incident as a freak accident from a sudden storm.

“No one made a mistake. ... We dealt with extreme conditions before,” he said.

The lightning bolt that took their nephew’s life was the only one Jeff and Tom said they saw that day in that area, estimated to be around 8,000 feet in elevation. Cornett said other lightning strikes seemed much further away.

“It was terrifying,” Cornett said of the lightning that narrowly missed him. “It was brilliant white, and the sound was felt as much as heard.”

The lightning blew items out of Torchia’s pockets, ripped off some of his clothes, and tore bark off the tree that was struck. Jeff said its force moved his own body forward a couple inches.

The Fresno County Coroner’s Office announced a few days later that Torchia died by electrocution caused by lightning. No one else was injured by the lightning strike.

There’s only been 14 other fatalities and 72 injuries from lightning in California since 1950, according to data through this spring from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s National Centers for Environmental Information. The National Weather Service reported that only about 10% of people struck by lightning die from the voltage.

Torchia is remembered as exceedingly kind, with a genuine concern and sensitivity to the feelings of others that sometimes caused him pain. One of his two brothers, Ben Torchia of Clovis, said he sees his brother’s passing as God deciding to free his “good soul” from that pain.

“He just had this struggle internally – some things that are probably pretty simple for you or me were not simple for him,” his brother said. “He had a struggle that people in America owned houses while people in third-world countries didn’t. He had a tough time accepting the status quo. He could never get over things like that.”

Torchia crossing Muir Pass (on a 2019 trip)

Cornett said the experience of caring for Torchia in his final moments made him feel “profoundly humbled at how vulnerable life is.”

“Obviously you realize that when you’re in the mountains and outdoors,” Cornett said, “but it’s true of our given life at any given moment, and it causes you to reflect.”

Torchia was one of six children and had an 11-year-old daughter, Makayla, who lives in South Africa with her mother.

He graduated from Ridgeview High School in Bakersfield and joined the Navy when he was 18 years old, serving for almost six years. He also previously worked as a driver for Community Food Bank and senior citizens in Clovis.

Torchia most recently was a student at Clovis Community College. He hoped to become a psychologist and counselor, his mom said.

Douglas Houston, interim chancellor of State Center Community College District, recalled Torchia as an “outstanding student” in a recent email to staff, encouraging condolences for his family.

His mother said he loved hiking, backpacking, swimming, rock climbing and cycling, and had many other talents.

“I call him the Renaissance man,” Kathy Torchia said. “He could do anything.”

Torchia was the youngest on last week’s backpack trip. The other four in his group are in their 60s.

“He was like our safety chain,” Jeff Holbrook said. “We were all getting older and he was still viable and young and he looked after us, and we always felt safe with him by our side.”

Torchia made a separate trip up to Sallie Keyes Lake the week before the trip with his uncles to haul a tent and other gear up the mountain so they wouldn’t have to carry as much. Among the gear was a cushion and hammock he insisted they use.

Family said the compassionate Torchia also had a way of infusing fun into even the simplest of tasks.

“What a great spirit this young man had,” Tom Holbrook said of his nephew. “We loved him.”

Friend Pete Debruynkops, who went on previous John Muir Trail backpack trips with Torchia, said Torchia loved being in the wilderness, and that his friend’s adventurous spirit earned him the hiking nickname of “Stray Dog” because he was always straying off the trail to check things out.

Jeff Holbrook said he recently experienced some joy thinking of Torchia.

Jeff Holbrook’s phone started playing music when he and others were trying to revive Torchia on the trail. It took him a while to realize the sound was coming from his pocket because he said his phone rarely plays music, even when he tries.

He pulled it out and hit pause. The song was “Neon Pegasus” by Parry Gripp, about a mythical, divine, winged horse soaring over troubles. It made him think of his nephew and a herd of horses that ran by them on the trail earlier in their trip.

Some of the lyrics: “Unbreak your heart, Neon Pegasus, and go climbing through the stars, out there with your dreams, your sparkly dreams. ... Never again to be lonely, never again to be without a home. ... Soaring over it all, high up in the clouds.”

Jeff Holbrook accidentally dropped his phone in water later at Muir Trail Ranch. When it turned on the next day, the song was still paused on Neon Pegasus.

He played it later and sobbed. He said it was a beautiful release of “just joy.” He felt like his nephew was telling him, “I’m in a beautiful place and I’ve got wings and I’m flying, and I’m happy as can be.”

[yelenasdog]

wondrous mess (40s!bucky x fem reader)

𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚋𝚘𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎

𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: angst with some tooth rotting fluff halfway 

𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: war is so cruel, it’s only fair that the both of them have to expirience it’s wrath together.

𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 11k+ (my longest fic!!)

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: the beginning shows implications of alcoholic tendencies and behavior as well as derogatory terms from the 40s to describe those who are suffering from alcoholism, war, character death, denial of death, being a widow, cheating, crying, implications of sex, that’s abt it. if i missed any, feel free to shoot me an ask or message :) 

𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: (listen to these in order for best reading experience)

☆time flies- mac miller

☆at last- etta james

☆crying time- dean martin

☆paper rings- taylor swift

☆fine line- harry styles

☆dream a little dream of me- ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong 

☆twilight time- the platters

☆you don’t have to say you love me- jerry vale

☆moon river- andy williams

☆as the world caves in- matt maltese

☆we’ll meet again- vera lynn

☆everlong (acoustic version)- foo fighters

𝚊/𝚗: i hope u enjoy this!! i’ve worked so hard on this and done so much research, it truly took the most time and effort i’ve ever used in a fic. there’s more disclaimers at the end :)

·。·☆·。·。

December 28th, 1941

The alleyway was dark, unnerving, and cold. A man’s loud and gruff voice projected through the nearly empty alley, bouncing off of the newly propaganda strewn walls. His arm was left hanging defenseless in the air.

“Don’t go, please, we’ll talk it out.” His 5 o’clock shadow seemed more prominent, his clothes wrinkled and smelling of alcohol while his breath was that of smoke.

He had changed since they had gotten together, but he wasn’t the only one.

She turned on her heels from where she stood just outside the backstreet, tears pricking the corner of her eyes, threatening to spill. 

She had aged in the time she had been with Jake, the lines on her face deepening, the bags under her eyes darkening with blue and purple hues. Her painted lips had become cemented in a scowl, her formerly bright smile rarely seeing the light of day. But the distraught girl had no intentions of letting her new Bésame mascara go to waste on some jerk, much like the past few years of her life had. She strutted towards the blonde, regaining her lost composure.

She jabbed a manicured finger onto his chest, causing the man to recede slowly, the girl he had angered not far behind.

“You listen here, you crumb. I will not sit around all slack happy so you can go around and kiss some other dame behind my back.” She removed her hand, crossing it tightly against her chest with her other arm.

“Well, I was buzzed, that bird wasn’t even any importanc-“

“You’re unbelievable!” She gasped, rolling her eyes. She turned away once again. Jake followed in suit.

“Leave me alone, Jake.” She kept her eyes straight ahead on the unfamiliar Brooklyn sidewalk. She had originally come to the area to surprise her now ex- boyfriend after his work in the factory, but was in for a shock when she saw him making out with some girl (not for the first time) just outside the diner on the way.

So even if she didn’t have a clue where she was going, she sure as hell was going to act like she did. Seeing that her stride wasn’t faltering, he made an outcry of her name followed by a bellowed  “No!”

Jake grabbed her shoulder, and she shrugged it off, continuing to walk down the cobblestone street. There were cars buzzing past, and people talking around her on the street.

Couples. Happy couples who she quite honestly envied.

“You’re not allowed to touch me like that anymore.” Jake scoffed at her seemingly venomous words, wrapping a strong hand around her dainty wrist.

“Now don’t go into a decline, it’s not that big of a deal.” Her eyes narrowed at the sandy blond.

“Oh, please. You kissed her, and all the others, because you wanted to and because you could. No regard for anyone’s feelings but your own, just like always. And I’m sick of it, I really am!” She threw her hands up, and they fell back to her side with an audible plop against the gabardine fabric.

Jake looked around nervously at all the people whose attention he had drawn, his eyes darting to and fro.

“Don’t make a scene,” he called her by her nickname in a vain attempt to draw out her sympathy. “Please, we can work it out like we always do.”

“Don’t you dare call me that. You have no place to do so. And I think I’ve made my point fairly evidently. Jake Nelson, you are nothing but a swigger and a cheat, and I want nothing to do with it any longer. Goodbye.” She felt a rush of adrenaline as she picked her head up, the setting sun in what to her seemed a poetic manor.

She didn’t know where she was, how she would get home, where she would sleep. But he was gone. That parasite that had been feeding off of her and her emotions, taking advantage of her again and again, was finally gone. And it felt great. She took a breath of the heavily polluted air, noting how it somehow seemed clearer.

She could breathe again, and the feeling was intoxicating. In her newfound bliss, she continued walking for she didn’t know (nor care to find out) how long.

The sky that had since changed from it’s scarlets and oranges to an indigo sheet (becoming nearly impossible to see the stars with all the heavy smoke wafting in the air from the ever so busy factories) provided a hint at exactly how long it had been since she began her adventure. 

She would stare at the buildings as she walked past, analyzing those who walked in and out of them, considering the way they walked, how some appeared dreary, others animated, and making up backstories for them each in her mind. Some of her stories were sadder than others, and some had the most glorious of tales. She liked to think that she was correct about her human hypotheses, even if she was the furthest thing from it.

She swung her head to the left side of the street she was walking on, and not far ahead, she noticed a rickety looking old bar. After her day's events, she felt she deserved a celebratory drink, so she pushed the heavy door open, stepping into the dimly lit area.

The airy sound of piano filled the air, a joyful demeanor to the place. Couples (which she still envied, even if momentarily the said envy had gone vacant) were dancing about happily. Not a care in the world. Not in the moment, at least.

But when she made it past the entrance, that moment stopped. It was like every head turned, all conversations paused, the clinking of the piano keys was no longer to be heard. She gave a small nervous smile to the occupants of the room as she walked to the bar itself, standing just a tad bit taller at the attention. 

And as soon as the moment had stopped, it seemed to have started back up again when she ended up at her destination. Because as she had learned, time truly never stopped for anyone. 

The piano’s melody resumed, everyone was back on their feet in no time. She took a look around, soaking up the atmosphere in complete awe, feeling free as a bird of some sort.

Soon enough, she was slowly sipping away at her concoction while facing the splintering door, her head occupied with thoughts concerning what came next, how she would handle the effects of this adrenaline high she was now stepping off. Her thinking was interrupted, though, by a deep voice and a tap on the shoulder, making her jump in her seat.

“‘Scuse me?”

She turned on her stool to face whoever it was that wanted her attention. Both figures eyes widened at the sight of the other, shock spreading across their faces.

“Well if it isn’t James Barnes!” She spoke, genuine excitement filling her soul. He called out her old nickname, contended with his discovery.

“It’s been awhile! And please, doll, it’s Bucky.” He reminded her with a charming smile. A warm blush rose up from her neck to her cheeks, and butterflies suddenly hatched in her stomach, fluttering about like nobody's business. She nodded, taking another sip from her drink to avoid meeting his eyes (which were much prettier than she ever had remembered from school). 

The clean shaven boy- or man as of late, pulled out a chair next to her, sitting down. The two engaged in friendly conversation, their laughs mixing in the warm, thick air with the sounds of the music. Her heart was beating out of her chest, leaving her feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush all over again.

After some time of very pleasant conversation, a less effervescent matter had risen.

“So,” James began, taking a swig from his glass. “Still with that souse, what was his name,” he said, snapping his fingers. “Jake! That’s his name, Jake!” 

The girl shook her head and rolled her eyes with a laugh.

He was enchanted already.

She began to tell a toned down version of the occurrences with Jake, Bucky remaining captivated by her presence the entire time. James would speak up every few statements, always resulting in her losing her place, not that she minded.

Towards the end of the so called story, there was an interruption towards the front of the bar. 

The moment stopped once more, but in a quite different manner than how it did when she had first entered.

He hollered out her name, followed by an equally as loud “Where are you?” He turned to a man to his left. “Where is she?” He slurred. The scruffy man only shrugged, scooting away from the drunken one that had walked into the brick building.

“Jake, what are you doing here?” She questioned, slowly walking towards the man, trying not to upset him further. 

“Why’d you leave me, huh?! Why’d you cause a scene and go?” He was hysterical. Tears ran down his red face and his hands feverishly grabbed at his scraggly locks for some sense of comfort. 

“Jake, you’re not in your right mind. Leave me alone and go home, you’re leaving your mother worrying, I’m sure of it.”

Her voice began to shake, ripples of emotion that had been repressed for the past years bubbling up to the surface, taunting her, threatening her, to erupt.

And God, his mother, his poor mother.

The frail old woman was half the reason she had even stayed with Jake in the first place,

Her heart was weak, and her son’s behavior never left her any room to breath. So the girl would dedicate much of her time to cooking meals for the widowed Ms. Nelson, bringing them over and sitting with her for hours on end, speaking with her of Jake’s childhood, memories of her late husband spending time with the boy along with it.

Her favorite stories throughout them all, though, were the ones of Jake’s childhood pup, a golden retriever called Benjamin.

Ms. Nelson loved to tell the story of how odd it was that the young boy chose the human name, rather than something frivolous and fun, like Buddy, or Peanut.

So a teary eyed version of the girl would think back to that story whenever Jake would behave in this manner, she would think of Benjamin and a youthful Jake, frolicking in the Oklahoma fields where Jake had grown up.

An extremely happy child, an even sweeter boy.

But no longer could she do so. Not now, after Jake had gone and betrayed her for some random girl.

Some random girl who would never sit with his mother for hours, listening to her weep about her broken son who she pretended to not notice was silently suffering. Some random girl who wouldn’t comfort him when he had a rough day at work, trying to be an active distraction so that he wouldn’t turn to his vice.

Because she had loved Jake Nelson, even if she wanted to pretend she didn’t.

And it hurt her to walk away, but she had to, for his own good.

Which led her to push the image of a golden fluff ball and the face of a smiling small boy out of her mind completely, weighing herself down to the present, meeting Jake’s sad emerald eyes. She walked forward, taking him by the shoulders. Her voice was hushed as she spoke.

“Jake. You’ve become someone I don’t know, someone that’s hard to love. But I did it anyway for a long, long time. Maybe some other time, perhaps even in another life, we can be together. But that all depends on you.

You’ve hurt me, and I can’t pretend you haven’t any longer, Jake. So go home. Please.”

Her eyes hunted through his, sifting for some sign of reassurance that he understood the gravity of the situation.

“But I love you-” He whispered, acting a stuttering mess. Everyone at the bar had gone back to whatever they were doing before he came into the room, not wanting to involve themselves in whatever mess it was obvious the two of them were in.

She took hold of the brown fabric of his coat, gently turning him towards the door. She walked behind him, her hand not leaving his back for some subconscious fear he would do something he would regret once he was of sober mentality.

She discarded it as nonsense;

But nevertheless, her death grip on him never faltered, even for a moment.

As soon as she made it outside, she waved over a cab, the bright yellow vehicle being the only completely visible object in the cool night.

It pulled over with a loud screech, leaving rubber tracks on the damp asphalt. She wrinkled her nose, before digging around her embroidered bag in a flurry, pulling together $5.27 exactly. She knew it would be enough to cover the long ride from the factory to his home, as the high cost of the ride was one of his many worries he did his best to forget in any way he could possibly fathom.

So she told the cabbie his address, helping Jake into the back of the car. He held her hand and looked up to her with pleading eyes. She squeezed it once before putting his back on his lap.

“Goodnight, Jake.” She smiled softly, briefly touching his cheek before shutting the door. She saw him look out the dirty window, before leaning back into the leather headrest and letting his tired eyes flutter to a close, finding momentary bliss, despite all going on around him.

She took a deep breath, wrapping her cardigan tighter around her shoulders, watching him until the taxi was just barely visible, to where calling it a yellow blob would be generous. But she followed it with her eyes not a moment later, for she had some explicable fear from a tall-tale her mother had told her long ago, about how you would never see someone again if you watched them off completely.

Whether that be by death or some curious mishap along the journey towards it, she never quite felt the urge to find out. And one could take that as a bitter yet nectarous testament to her feelings towards Jake, but even if she wanted to, she wasn’t even sure if she could herself.

She revolved in zombie like fashion, too caught up in her own world once more, to notice a certain brown haired (soon to be, not that he knew it) sergeant.

A stormy look of displeasure had casted itself across his stark features, but his cerulean eyes remained cordial, almost like a safe haven of calm waters to find refuge in.

And almost like in every cliche love story that ever was, she bumped into Bucky, gasping before transitioning into an expression of her regret, a waterfall of apologies gushing from her lips.

He called her by her nickname once more, catching her attention and making her heart skip a beat.

“Seriously, it’s alright, no harm done.”

She zipped her mouth shut, so to say, and just gave a curt nod before starting to go inside. And ever the gentleman, Bucky let her get halfway to the door before calling out her name. She turned once more, salty droplets beginning to roll down her face. 

“Yes?”

He looked down to his feet and then to the bustling city street beside him. After much contemplation in the span of what felt like hours (but was only a few moments), he met her eye.

“I know it’s not my place, and if you don’t wanna talk ‘bout it, we don’t have to, but what happened in there-”

He paused, taking a deep breath in a futile effort to put his nerves at bay, keep the storm from shore to the best of his abilities. He puffed his cheeks, offering his arm before retreating it again, similarly to the way Jake had however many hours ago.

“You don’t deserve that.” He shook his head, left to right, his ungelled hair shiny under the yellow street lights, making him look like an angel.

“I know.”

He shuffled closer to her, stuffing his hands in his pockets. The wind howled around them in an agonizing manner, how lone wolves under a full moon would do the same.

They watched as their frosty breaths floated like smoke in the air, their faces illuminated by the storefront displays lining the streets from Christmas that was only a few days prior, leaving no time to take down the brightly colored decor. You could practically hear the animated Santa Claus’ “Ho ho ho!” from where he sat in the front of a toy store, beckoning those who walked past to come on inside and take a look, maybe spend a few dollars.

But to Y/n, it felt as if the cheery old man was simply mocking her as she was in her current state.

“Really, I mean that, I do.”

Now to reiterate, Bucky was a gentleman, that much was clear. So although he outright wanted to tell her that it seemed as if she didn’t realize her own worth and that, Hell, Steve could treat her better than that punk. But alas, he kept it to himself, only doing his best to comfort her, upsetting her further, never an intention in his mind.

She nodded, giving a tight lipped smile. “Thanks, really.”

She shivered, admiring the red and green lights around her, her glazed over eyes reflecting the image of them beautifully, almost like a work of stained glass art in her iris.

“You wanna head back inside? You look kinda chilly.”

“Oh, no, thank you. I’m just going to stay out here for awhile.”

“I’ll leave you to it.”

All that was heard then, was the clicking of his shoes against the cobblestone, with the occasional car whizzing past. But then, she asked him to stay.

Her voice was soft, so much so, in fact, that she possessed what Bucky would say was mistakable for the voice of a mouse, which he would know after spending as many years around Steve that he had. He almost had missed it, but by some miracle, maybe a lucky star, he didn’t

So he turned around, not saying anything to disturb her seemingly exteriorly serene state, only walking up behind her, pulling off his jacket and placing it on top of her shoulders. He smoothed it out briefly, his touch feather light. For he wasn’t sure if he was breaching a certain level of intimacy, breaking any boundaries, with a woman who was practically a stranger.

“Is this alright?”

She nodded again.

“This is fine.” She closed her eyes, feeling much warmer now, but she was slightly torn on if the newfound comfort was accredited to the jacket resting upon her shoulders, or the company standing patiently beside her.

She was starting to think it might just be a little bit of both.

-

June 14th, 1943

The two's relationship (if you could call it that) was painstakingly slow, not that Bucky ever minded.

Word of the war and when, not who, would get drafted had spread, and any waking second for the past years, she was terrified the man she was developing ever strong feelings for would be ripped away with only a moments notice.

But regardless of that, she had a hard time trusting him, that much was true. It wasn’t his fault, not in the slightest. She wished more than anything to forget her past with Jake, but it was no use. So it took her much time to be able to trust James. But he was patient, and he always stayed.

So when he did get called away, it was a rude awakening.

She had only recently met Steve, before Bucky (who she still called James) was sent overseas. Her maternal instinct she didn’t even know she had immediately kicked into overdrive at first sight of the sickly boy, making her promise Buck that she would watch over him, much to Steve’s dismay. Although, there was no doubt in any of their minds she would in the first place, it was a given.

(Steve secretly loved the way she fussed over him, but he would never admit to that.)

The three of them had a lovely time at the Stark Expo the night before Bucky left, leaving a happy new memory for Y/n to drift to whenever she missed the scent of sandalwood, sweat, and his cologne, that was all uniquely him.

She would picture entangling her arms with Steve and Bucky’s own as she skipped happily, pulling the boys along behind her; not too rough of course, for Steve’s sake

She had been full of an electric happiness that night, stealing kisses with James when Steve wasn’t looking, a pink tint falling upon his plump cheeks. She stole his hat right off his head of hair that she loved to run her fingers through so much and put it on, crooked so much so it nearly fell right off. She wore it the whole rest of the night, Bucky wanting to never see her take it off, if it were possible.

Later that night when he took her home, she stood by the doorway, the porch light doing a sad job of lighting up the area, casting a faint amber glow across James’ features.  

The hairs left astray from where she had Bucky’s hunter green cap previously were lit up, forming a halo. 

She was a wondrous mess, and James simply adored her in that moment.

(He also adored her in any other instance since the minute he had laid his eyes on her, but the point still stands.)

You could smell the grass if you had tried, freshly cut and still damp from the late night shower they had run through while making their way home, turning through twisty alleyways, feet pattering against walkways.

Their hands had been slipping apart the entire time, perhaps an attempt by Freyr for a cruel joke in the last hours the lovers would spend together before James was to leave.

Maybe he was up in the sky at Mount Olympus, laughing down at the two mortals as the girl kept her hand gripped securely around the man’s stronger limb, refusing under any circumstances to let go. Maybe his laugh turned to a fond smile from above, finding pleasure in how his jest resulted in such an act of youthful care, not minding in the slightest that it had been counterproductive in the best ways.

“Thank you, James. I had an amazing night.”

He grinned ear to ear, awkwardly shuffling closer to her silhouette.

“Same here, doll.”

And just like that, she had crumbled like a coffee cake, another warm and itchy wave silking up her neck. Past the neckline of the uncomfortable dress she wore because she knew Bucky loved it (even though he would no longer love it and would insist she never wear it again if his ears heard any words of upset at the garment fall past her lips).

It traveled right past her best pearls with the rhinestone right in the center that she had made sure to wear because James had once told her that they made her eyes sparkle, that sly son of a gun.

The twinkle truly had been there solely because of him on that day and most others, but she would allow him to believe what he wanted to believe until the end of time, if it kept that boyish smile cemented on his pretty face.

But as it eventually always would, his smile began to falter, shifting into a slight pout, then into a full on frown as soon as her eyes had become visibly misty.

Bucky reached a hand forward snatching the cap from her head. She huffed, and he rolled his eyes as he placed it back on his head. 

“I’ll be needing this tomorrow, sorry, sweetheart.”

They both laughed for a moment, the memories of the night still fresh in their young minds.

“I’m going to miss you, James.”

Her chin suddenly quivered, her nose ran, and her thoughts were racing at the speed of light.

She couldn’t lose him. No, not yet, she wasn’t ready, she wouldn’t ever be ready. She hadn't even begun to express to him how much she loved him, let alone that she couldn’t bear to live a day without him (as the information was quite new to her as well). So how in God’s name was she supposed to ship him off to war, just like that, practically a sitting duck for those bastard nazis to poke and prod at all they want?

“I’ll miss you more, darlin’. More than you know.”

They both made an attempt at watery smiles that ended up looking more like two painful grimaces, which was more of a reflection of their current moods than the aforementioned. His eyes pleaded with her to say something, anything. One of her quick witted facts, maybe a scolding perhaps, for having such a negative attitude in the current predicament.

Not able to stare at his collapsing facade any longer, she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around his neck. She quickly reciprocated, placing a strong hand on her waist.

There was a longing look in her eyes as the gears of her brain turned, carefully formulating what she wanted to say.

“Marry me.”

Well, formulating is a strong word.

He laughed at the notion, the sound ringing out and echoing off the small porch. But the whimsical tune soon halted when he realized he was the only one making it.

“Doll, are you serious?”

“Never been more serious about anything in my life, James.” She moved her hands to take his, holding them up to her chest and shaking them as she spoke with a supplicate glance. He said her nickname in a careful manner, trying to articulate a response, muttering something about not having a ring, how their families (Becca included) would be furious they missed the wedding. But she was having none of it.

“Well I’m sure given the circumstances, they’d understand, and if they don’t then oh well. And quite frankly, as for the ring, I could care less, James, make a ring out of paper and slap it on my finger, it's all the same to me. We can go to the court tomorrow morning before I see you off-”

She moved her head down to where Bucky was gazing, tilting it back up with her pointer finger.

“Let me marry you, dammit.”

They laughed for a second, both of them this time, although her’s was much more convincing.

“But why now?”

She paused again, the only sound to be heard was the soft chirping of the crickets hidden in the grass.

“Because I know you're far too much of a gentleman to leave me widowed, James Barnes.”

He pressed soft kisses on her knuckles, meeting her eyes.

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

“Oh, only every day.”

He rolled his eyes and smiled, pulling her in by the waist. He connected their lips, and felt her smile into the kiss. He also happened to feel a hand creeping up to where his hat rested on the crown of his head, but the feeling wasn’t prolonged.

She snatched it off his shiny locks with a devilish grin, a sparkle in her eye shining like the North star Bucky soon would be gazing upon at night to direct him through the dark nights.

“You should keep that on for forever, you know. Looks better on you, anyway.”

She raised a messy eyebrow, the corner of her bright red mouth turning into a smirk.

“Oh really, is that so?”

Bucky hummed and nodded, kissing her nose and watching in delight as it crinkled up and a high pitched giggle escaped from her lips. Then it was quiet for some time, the only thing able to be heard was the droplets of rainwater sliding off the roof and plopping on the floor as her and James stood in contemplation.

“I’ll marry you, doll.”

She smiled at him warmly, leaning into his larger frame completely, the scratchy green fabric of his uniform flush against her cheek.

“I know.”

He barked a loud laugh, and she felt it through the fabric covering his chest, savouring the feeling.

“You know? Well how did you know?”

She only sighed, moving to open her rickety front door, which the whole neighborhood probably knew judging by the squeak that echoed from it.

“Because, just as I said before. You’re a gentleman. You’d never turn down a proposal in public, especially not from me.”

Bucky’s face contorted, and the gears of his head turned as he made an honest effort at understanding how they were in public.

“But, we’re not?”

She shook her head, stepping into her home and then turning to face him straight on.

“Technically, we were on the patio, which is in the yard, which is in the neighborhood, which is in public. Now, if I were to propose to you right now with you-”

She tugged his arm, forcing him into the building. 

“-also in my home, you would have every right to say no.”

She looked up, scanning his features. Admiring his cheekbones, his lips, and his sharp jaw. But most prevalently, she found herself absolutely enchanted by his eyes, as she always was.

“But I won’t.”

“But you won’t.”

She smiled, the look on her face resembling that of a fox smirking at her prey. She waltzed to the door, closing it softly.

“So,” she began, taking hold of Bucky’s hands.

“Tomorrow morning it is, then?”

“I think it is.”

“Whatever shall we do in the meantime?” She questioned, both of them having ideas that were entirely the same.

“I think I might have an inkling of an idea.”

She huffed, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“You and your ideas, James. Always ‘thinking’ of something new.”

He only hummed in agreement, nuzzling his forehead against hers, before moving down to her ear.

“I’d like to believe I act on those ideas. Would you agree?”

You can most likely guess her answer.

-

The next morning was a mixture of great sorrow and great joy all at once. Sure, they had to get up at the crack of dawn on what would be Bucky’s last chance to sleep in for a very long time, and sure, the minister had given them very strange looks, but it had been done.

And to the newly wed Mr and Mrs. Barnes, it was worth it completely.

But nearly as soon as the exciting event had ended, she was standing on the slimy pebbles of Brooklyn's Pier 57, doing her best to not lose her footing on the wet stones. She had given James one final goodbye kiss, before watching him board the Dominion Monarch to be shipped off to England.

The large vessel departed, and for once, she allowed a few tears to slip down her blushed cheeks, her smeared mascara coming with it, just as she knew it would. The bitter droplets were warm, a juxtaposition to the feeling in the pit of her stomach formed by the voice nagging at her that Bucky would never see her again. That her wedding day would be the last time she would ever see her husband. It was a possible reality she never wanted to have to face.

And after so long, she decided she was tired of waiting. So she made a call.

“Hello? Is this Agent Margaret Carter?”

-

December 25th, 1943

Bucky Barnes was not opposed to the idea of Y/n joining the army. He was appalled.

So when on the crisp morning of December 25th, it was quite a surprise when he opened what he had presumed to be a letter wishing him a Merry Christmas from his wife, and rather receiving some interesting news.

He had been laying his backside against a tree, the scratchy bark feeling rather uncomfortable. He smiled, smiled at the news of his wife going to war, not that he knew, when Steve handed him the parchment, taking another sip of some watered down joe from an aluminum cup, before excitedly ripping into it like a little boy.

“I wanted to save it for today,” Steve had told him, his chest puffed out in pride for keeping the secret for so long.

Bucky initially had found it humorous and exciting, why wouldn’t he have? But his mood soon changed after reading just a few lines in.

“James, my love,

I hope this message finds you and the rest of the boys in good health, tell them I wish them all a happy Christmas, as well. There really isn’t a simple way to put this, and I hope it doesn’t put a damper on your holiday spirit, but I’ve been tired of sitting around, so I’ve spoken to Steve’s friend, Agent Carter. I now have enlisted in the SSR as Agent Barnes.”

The paper clenched in his fist, his eyes screwing shut. He didn’t even bother reading the rest before standing up and walking over to Steve, a fiery look set in his eyes. Steve soon caught on to his anger, standing up and parting his lips as he neared.

“Steve, did you know?”

Steve, a horrible liar, shrugged, furrowing his brows. “About what? Buck, what's wrong?”

“Don’t lie to me, Rogers! Did you know about her enlisting?”

At that, it went silent in the forest aside from the rustling of the branches, and the chirps of early rising blackbirds. 

The rest of the Commandos turned, eyes wide, shoulders hunched. Steve gestured for them to calm down and return to normal with a dramatic sweep of his arms, with most of them complying, but not without a few snarky comments from Dum Dum and Gabe protesting the treatment.

“Listen, I tried to stop her-”

“Well apparently, you did a horrible job. God, Agent Barnes. That’s what she'll be known as now. We'll have the whole bunch! Sarge and Agent, wow, we are gonna be one decorated family, ain’t that right, Steve?”

Bucky was ranting and rambling now, spewing angry nonsense at Steve as if that would change a thing. Steve felt a pang of guilt, hanging his head and biting his knuckle.

“Buck, is it a problem that she’ll be an Agent?”

Bucky paused, his nostrils flaring and his eyes slanting.

“Of course it’s a problem, Steve! If they put her in the field, God knows what’ll happen! What if I have to see that name on a plaque some day, huh? In a museum, in some memorial for fallen agents.” His arm put emphasis on every word he shouted, and his voice had grown raspy, tears slipped from the corners of his eyes.

Steve sat his exasperated friend down, putting a comforting arm on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him. It distressed Steve to see Bucky this upset, after all he had done for him over the years. So if he could try to make him feel even the slightest bit relieved, he would in any way he had to.

“Bucky?”

He looked up, his eyes red and nose puffy.

“Think about how you're feeling right now. The fear, the hurt, the anxiety, all of it.”

“Steve, I don’t get how this is going to help me-”

“Just trust me.”

Bucky nodded, slumping over again.

“That’s how she feels. That’s how she felt when the war was announced, how she felt when you submitted your draft, how she felt when you were called away, Hell, how she feels every second of every hour that you’re not with her.”

“Still not helping.”

“Shut up, jerk.” They laughed, Steve elbowing him in his shoulder. The sound echoed through the lush green of the space, the tension noticeably thinner.

“The point is, the pain that this all has caused for everyone is inevitable, inescapable. So learn from it, and savour it. In the long run, we’ll be okay, Buck. I promise you that.”

James bit his bottom lip, puncturing the chapped skin, the blood pounding in his head making it hard to process what Steve had said. But what he did manage to gather, was that they would be okay.

-

February 11th, 1944

“Peggy, I’m nervous.”

“What? Are you kidding? You must be kidding, you’re ridiculous.”

Peggy gave the girl a dirty look from where she stood behind her in front of the only full length mirror at the base, looking as she straightened out her skirt and touched up her “victory” colored lip.

“I’m not kidding, Peg. What if he’s mad?”

The other agent only laughed, briefly touching her on the shoulder before walking around her to where a map of the Hydra bases they had been tracking were laid out. Peggy fiddled with one of the flags for a moment, speaking to a soldier nearby. She impatiently tapped her crimson nails on the board, the sound driving her friend insane. Peggy then began to speak, not even looking up from where she stood, bent over as she examined something else.

“Darling, the only thing Barnes will be mad about by now, is not seeing you for so long. If he was angry before, he’s long forgotten about it, I assure you that.”

She nodded (even though nobody except a nosy recruit had witnessed it).

“You know what, I think you’re right. Thanks, Peg.”

Margaret half smiled, “mmhm” ing, but keeping her head down. She did, however, lift it up when she heard the other woman’s heels clicking in the opposite direction.

“Excuse me?” Peggy remarked, brows raised and her arms crossed.

Agent Barnes turned, her painted lips beckoning Peggy to go on in a most humorous manner.

“We aren’t done here! Get over here and help me mark this up, I’m nearly finished.”

She rolled her eyes, to which Peggy only rushed her more.

By the time they were done (spoiler, she was not almost finished) several hours had passed, and the camp was now lit only by the lanterns and the moon in the obsidian sky.

The stars were visibly bright that night, twinkling like small diamonds without the restriction of smoke from busy factories and the blockage of the ever so fascinating skyscrapers.

Mr and Mrs. Barnes both were watching the stars that night, smiling at the thought of the other doing the same.

Yes, even Bucky, smiling at the thought of his wife despite his neck developing a crick from having laid on the knapsack in the back of the truck for so long. A lovestruck glance was still plastered on his face as he stared up, the road bumpy underneath the wheels of the vehicle. His body would jolt as a cause from this every once in a while, but he paid it no mind, the soft smile staying put.

Steve watched Bucky’s facial expressions, a grin coming across his own features.

“You thinkin’ about her?”

Steve looked up to the sky.

“Always am.”

-

“I know you want to wait up for him, but I promise as soon as I get word of if he’s here, I’ll wake you. You need rest.”

The agent only smiled, her eyes staying trained on the stars above. “I’ll come to bed soon, Peg. I swear.”

But Margaret knew her friend all too well, so she simply bid her goodnight and shook her head.

She whispered, though her friend was too far away to hear her, laying on her backside and tucking her arms behind her head on the damp grass.

“Goodnight, Peggy.”

She had fallen asleep on the green that night, the stars wooing her into a slumber with thoughts of her beloved. She was only awoken when she felt the ground rumble beneath her, and heard the loud whirring of a hummer engine. She sat up, pressing her hands in the wet soil. She squinted and was barely able to make out two tall men jumping out from the back of the car. 

She was initially unsure of who it was, but a shield being reflected on by the pale moonlight, and a hearty laugh soon confirmed her suspicions. She gasped and only to herself muttered Bucky’s name, picking herself up off the ground, running as fast as her feet could take her. 

“James! James!”

He turned his head from where he was talking to Colonel Phillips, immediately recognizing the voice as his wife’s. By the time he had noticed, she was already to him, so all he could do was welcome her with open arms. Literally.

She jumped into his arms, planting kisses all over his face. He laughed and laughed, Steve, and the Colonel, too, cracking a smile at the two’s reunion. She pulled away momentarily, looking over his dirty face. She ran her fingertips over the scratches and gashes, still having a hard time believing that after all this time, even under all the grime and blood and sweat, it was truly him. 

“Sarge, it’s been awhile.” She giggled out, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Same to you, Mrs. Barnes. Too long.” He commented, leaning forward and burying himself in her neck, allowing her to cradle him. He inhaled her perfume, taking the scent to memory for when he would inevitably have to go away once again, leaving her behind.

(So he thought.)

“That would be Agent Barnes to you.”

Bucky saluted, nodding and throwing a wink in her direction, before leaning in and planting a firm kiss to her lips that now only had remnants of red left around the edges from when she had applied it earlier on in the day. Their voices were now reduced to raspy whispers, both of them completely out of breath.

“Well either way, I’ve missed you greatly, Agent Barnes.”

“I’m glad we feel the same way.”

The two of them also felt extremely tired, leaving them to fall asleep that night packed side by side on a small cot in the corner of Steve’s tent. The brown sheets were horribly scratchy, and they had to mainly rely on each others bodies for heat. But despite this, all felt well, as if this new normal was finally worth it. 

-

In the morning, Steve had wanted to let the pair sleep in as long as humanly possible. The sun rising was one thing the great Captain America couldn't prevent, though. So as yellow light began to stream through the barely there material of their temporary home, the Barnes’ were given a somewhat pleasant awakening. 

Birds sang, bugs hummed, and the loud voices of Steve and Bucky’s soldiers could be heard, along with Steve occasionally hushing them if they came too close to their tent, still trying to preserve their well deserved rest. 

The thought made her smile, eyes slowly coming to an open. Bucky’s hand grew tighter on her waist, running circles on the silky fabric by her hip. Hers delicately made its way to brush messy brown locks from James’ closed eyes, the feeling comparable to a feather tickling the bridge of his nose. 

He scrunched it, blinking a few times, before commiting the view of waking up to the face of his wife for the first time to his memory, locked away to where Hydra would hopefully never take it. 

“Good morning, Agent Barnes.”

She shook her head, snuggling further into his chest and stretching her arms. “Mmmhm, not right now.” He placed a confused hand on her back, tracing a line up and down.“I thought it was only Agent Barnes?”

“Not in bed, James.”She looked up, smiling ear to ear. “Right now, I’m your wife, and only your wife.”

It was quiet in the tent, then. But always the one to break the silence, Bucky began to speak, his morning voice so incredibly low that it sent a shiver down her spine. 

“I mean, being my wife is a job in itself.”

They laughed, she shook her head and whacked his chest.

“Right you are.”

She stood up out of bed, shifting her hair to one shoulder with her hand. The glass on the face of her small watch reflected onto the walls, painting a rainbow stripe of light above Bucky’s head. She moved about, her babydoll pink colored slip moving along with her, almost as a toga would flow behind a goddess in the wind. James watched in amazement from his position propped up on his elbows, complete and total awe evident in his heart eyes for his wife. 

God, how he loved to say that, and hear it roll off of his tongue. Just to think it, even.

His wife.

He truly was a lucky man. And as she felt holes being stared into her back, she turned and giggled at Bucky’s antics.

“Now, I know your mother taught a gentleman such as yourself that ogling at women is rude, hmm?” She questioned, throwing the discarded slip at Bucky’s peeping eyes, then pulling on her uniform and beginning to fix her hair and makeup. Fingers moved quickly and expertly as she went about, her red nails almost appearing to move so quickly they were blurring.

He scoffed, forcing his nimble fingers through his knotted hair that could have been comparable to the nest that the very birds that played a hand in awakening them had resided in.

“Even if that woman is my very beautiful wife who I haven’t seen since I went away for war?”

He looked up, eyes bluer than Bing Cosby’s. (Sure, she had only seen them in the magazines, but hey, they seemed quite nice.) She finished putting on her lipstick, walking over and placing a hand under his chin. He looked up in a dreamy haze, basically begging for her lips to be placed on his.

She rolled her eyes and placed a long and sweet kiss upon his plump lips, restoring some of the color that sleep had stolen from them. She giggled at the lipstick left on his ivory skin, wetting her thumb and smudging it in a poor attempt to remove it. He cocked his head like some sort of puppy, slimming his eyes in an amused confusion.

“I guess that’s an exception.”

She leaned forward, leaving a short peck on his forehead, before ruffling his hair and making her way out of the tent. She briefly stopped hanging onto the post that acted as a door of sorts.

“Also, brush your teeth and hair, James. You stink.”

They smiled goofily at each other and she bit her lip, bidding him goodbye. And with that, she was off.

It was later in the day, now, and Bucky, Steve, and the rest of the commandos were in with the Colonel, discussing an upcoming mission. Peggy and Agent Barnes were decoding some of the Hydra messages the commandos had gathered on their previous mission in their general vicinity at the same time.

The paper was yellowed and stiff under her fingers, her eyes could barely stay focused on the multiple symbols in front of her, practically jumping off the page, vibrating at a high frequency.

She briefly closed her eyes and took a breath, trying to free her mind of the distraction that was her husband and honorary little (not so much now physically, but still) brother planning what sounded like an incredibly dangerous mission.

It was like a buzzing in her ear, the mention of capturing one of Hydra’s most valued scientists, and risking their lives in the process. And of course, he often did do just that, risking his life.

But call it wife's intuition, (Is that a thing? She isn’t sure) but she had a horrible feeling about it in the pit of her stomach. Something was telling her she should hug him a little tighter, kiss him a little harder, that kind of thing. And perhaps it could be discarded as the paranoia that had spread through many spouses as the war had started up, in fact, she wished it was.

Too lost in her own thoughts, it took Bucky’s hand on her shoulder to wake her from her trance. He began to quietly and cautiously speak her name in his position.

She turned, jumping ever so slightly. 

“Doll, you alright? Colonel was calling your name, you seemed real out of it.” He placed a hand on her forehead, then to her cheek, checking for any signs of a possible fever.

She didn’t reply to his concerns, only setting her hand utop his, leaning into him and closing her eyes. She opened them only moments later to see James squinting, his glance serious. He was quiet as he spoke, hesitating slightly. He muttered her name, trying to meet her eyes. He looked to see what was wrong, analyzing her, so badly wanting to fix whatever hurt there was lingering in her heart.

They stayed in that position for a while, the rest of the office seemingly standing still. She was the first to remove her hand, Bucky’s following suite.

“There’s a mission, in the Alps. Colonel wants you to come with the commandos and I, Peggy’s to stay here and work coms. He said something ‘bout needing someone who can sneak into places they shouldn’t be.” He chuckled, the sound bringing slight reassurance to her worrying mind.

“I’ll brief you tonight.”

She nodded, looking to her feet and whispering a quiet “okay”. They exchanged I love you’s, and then all that was heard was the faint clicking of James’ boots as he left her standing.

-

March 2nd, 1945

It was downright freezing in the Swiss forest.

And It would have been unbearable, if it weren’t for the fact she had Bucky to keep her warm, the man acting as a living furnace despite the frigid temperatures. The trek to do recom on the train they were intercepting was treacherous, feet ached, fingers were frosted, and the group spent much of their time (minus Steve, he had done enough of that when he was a sickly 90 pound asmatic) complaining to Mrs. Barnes, much to her dismay.

Usually, she would tell them off with a shake of her head or a slap to the arm, discarding their whines are nonsense.

In return for putting up with said nonsense, the commandos took her under their wing, so to say.

They never treated her differently than the rest of the group (or else she would have probably made her displeasure known, which both James and Steven warned them heavily against). Sharing the scotch, poking fun. In fact, if it weren’t for the nature of their escapade, she would have gone as far to say that she was having fun.

The only exception to this treatment was if she had to change, oftentimes borrowing a henley of Bucky’s or a pair of his trousers, the extra fabric heating her up quite nicely. Bucky would stand in front of whatever tree trunk she was hiding behind, watching to make sure no wandering eyes made any shameful attempts to catch a glimpse.

But overall, they worked well together, and were beginning to grow into a family, not that any of them would admit it.

“Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“What’re the chances this goes horribly wrong?”

He looked to his right to meet her eyes, wrapping an arm around his wife. They both turned back to the landscape of mountains, which were ironically quite beautiful. They were greeted with howling wind biting their noses and cheeks, causing her to let out a yelp, turning her head and tucking into Bucky’s arm briefly. He smiled and stroked the top of her messily tied back hair, allowing her to momentarily find comfort within his hold for what they didn't know would be the last time.

“With me? Nah, We’ll be alright. Zero to none.”

She rolled her eyes and smiled at his cocky behavior as she always would, his smirk settling her nerves.

“Yeah.” She exhaled. “We’ll be alright.”

-

March 4th, 1945

The brick remains of the pub were dimly lit by the lone street lamp standing bravely on the cobblestone, illuminating the puffy faces of the two sitting inside. Steve, stone cold sober, and Agent Barnes, drunk and with tears streaming down her flushed skin. The dust had barely settled; it could still be felt, burning her nostrils.

She heard heels, a telltale sign that Peggy had arrived, sorting through the rubble.

She had approached calmly, observing the situation. Steve muttered something about not being able to get drunk, earning some heartfelt speech from the other agent and a proclamation of a newfound fire for justice in Steve. But Peggy’s sorrowful glance soon became unreadable, then transitioning into one of anger and sympathy, however that was possible.

She tried calling the surviving Barnes’ name, voice stern. She snatched the bottle from her friends hand, noticing she had downed the whole thing.

She began some winded spiel, none of it processing, only a faint buzz in one ear out the other.

“I know you’re hurting, but James would have wanted you to pick yourself up, an-”

“He lied. You know that? The bastard lied.”

She wiped a singular tear from her left eye, staring blankly at the ring that still managed to shine even then, in what was close to total darkness in every sense.

“He said that we would be alright. That him and I would be okay. And then he went and you know what he did, Peg? He died.”

Steve looked up, and stood, walking to where she was across from him. 

He gently tugged her up and wordlessly pulled her into a hug.

She was stiff as a board at first but slowly melted into it, realizing that it felt nice to be cared for by him like she did all those years ago, the favor being returned when she most needed it.

“We’ll fix this, I promise.”

She closed her eyes tighter, digging her nails into his shoulders.

“I know.”

-

May 26th, 1945

“Steve, I’m not leaving you!”

“Go, grab the parachute and go, I’ll send your coordinates to Peggy! Both of us don’t have to die.”

“Steve, it’s alright.”

He met her eyes, water pooling in both of their orbs.

“I’ll be with him.” She forced a smile, taking hold of one of Steve’s gloved hands.

“It’s not too late for you to go, Stevie. I’ll put her in the water. If you wait any longer you won’t make it.”

The time was passing, they could hear the uncomfortable sloshing of the Arctic water below them, coming closer and closer. Jagged ice taunted them, glistening faintly in the light.

“Please, don’t do this to Peg.”

Steve had made his decision, as had she.

“See you on the other side, Barnes.”

The sound was difficult to decipher at the command center, static intercepting the voices of the pair as they bargained with death. But it was clear enough in order for everyone to realize what was happening.

Heads were bowed, tears fell, and even the Colonel allowed a salty drop to roll down his weathered cheek.

Steve and Peggy conversed, while Barnes sat next to Steve, closing her eyes. She was content. She was finally going home.

“I’d hate to step on your-”

Then, the line went dead.

“See ya, Rogers.”

-

2011

“This guy is still alive!”

“And the girl?”

The other man only shook his head.

-

2013

Skye dragged her finger along the etchings on the gray stone, mentally reading the names of fallen soldiers and agents.

“S.H.I.E.L.D.'s history can be traced on walls like this.”

Then she came upon something peculiar. Her finger lingered momentarily, the name on the plaque bringing back memories of when she was a young girl in school, learning about James Buchanan Barnes, one of two Howling Commandos to have died in the line of duty. The other, she couldn’t quite seem to remember.

“Huh. Bucky Barnes.” She looked a moment longer, reading the script underneath James’ name. 

“There was another Barnes?”

She turned to Agent Ward who was standing behind her, arms crossed and chin down.

“Yeah. They were married. Some say she put that plane in the water on purpose. That she could have left, but wanted to see him again after he died.

Puts it in perspective- What we do.”

-

2014

The lights in the exhibit were bright, too bright. Faces were plastered everywhere, familiar faces. The soldier felt lost without his handler, no direction whatsoever as he aimlessly wandered.

Aimlessly wandering, what a foreign concept. Not running from an enemy, or sneaking around, a shadow. Free to do whatever he pleases.

He saw his own reflection on a glass panel, information of who he supposedly was written next to it, about when he was born, when he had died. Videos playing on repeat of him and Steve nearby caught his attention, leading him to slowly make his way towards the shiny screen. He saw himself laugh, smiling with whoever this Steve guy was.

Then the screen switched to him and a girl.

In a slight contrast, the girl was the one laughing this time, her smile igniting something within the soldier, overwhelming him with a flurry of emotion and realization.

He panicked, turning to his left, only to see her again, standing next to him in a large mural. She was everywhere and nowhere all at once.

A voice began to speak, clouding his senses even more.

It spoke about Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers, how they were “inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield.”

It continued, and his confusion grew even further. It mentioned a girl who had what he learned to be his last name.

Not a mother, or a sister, but a wife.

“They became the only Howling Commandos to give their lives in service of their country."

Her name rang in his head, over and over again. He was married, he had a wife.

Had.

He walked up to where her clothes were displayed under her portrait, reaching a tentative hand out and feeling the fabric, rough from time. He could remember doing that before, but the fabric was silkier, then. It was different as a whole. It was pink satin, and the wearer was his wife, he now could see.

He was in a tent, laying on a scratchy cot, the girl laying with him, in his arms.

“Right now, I’m your wife, and only your wife.” Her smile and laugh were heavenly, her voice like honey. Her touch was smooth and left a tingle in its wake, bringing peace to his bustling mind.

Then he was suddenly back in the museum, hand still planted firmly on the hem of the shirt.

“Excuse me? Sir? You can’t be touching that.”

The soldier turned, facing the scrawny worker. His glasses were too large, hair too short, and pants 2 sizes too big. He gulped, doing a double take from the mural of James Barnes (who last time he checked a history book, had his remains somewhere buried under piles of ice and snow in the mountains of the Alps) and the man in front of him, who matched the recently trending image his coworker showed him of the Winter Soldier, the assassin who had over two dozen kills under his belt.

And if this were a mission, the soldier would have killed the man, executed him without second thought.

But now, he had free will. He had a choice.

So he chose to mutter a low “sorry” under his breath, pulling his baseball cap further over his brow and exiting the facility as quickly as possible.

The worker quit that night.

-

2016

A feed began to play on the tiny screen that Tony, Steve, and Bucky were crowded around, no video, just black with a thin line, moving in accordance with the audio. The sound was choppy, like it had been modified.

Zemo’s beady eyes slanted, a cold smile growing on his bearded face.

“I’ll be with him.”

“What the hell is this?” James yelled the question aimed towards both Zemo and himself.

But Steve knew exactly what it was, knew that voice, knew the feeling of the cold water enveloping him as he did his best to keep her warm in her final moments, a final favor for both Bucky and his wife.

“It’s not too late for you to go, Stevie. I’ll put her in the water. If you wait any longer you won’t make it.”

It was quiet, the line stopped moving. 

“See you on the other side, Barnes.”

“See ya, Rogers.”

The audio cut out.

“It’s her.” Bucky’s metal fist audibly clenched, his eyes darkening.

“You let her die, Steve.”

“Buck-”

“You killed her! I had a wife, and you let her die!”

Steve backed up, instinctively raising the shield from Bucky once more.

“That was her choice, Bucky.”

He was calm. Too calm.

“I don’t give a damn what her choice was, you should’ve pushed her out of that damn plane if you had to.”

“She wouldn’t have survived that fall, Buck, even with a parachute, she probably would have drowned, or gotten hypothermia or-”

“You don’t know that!”

Bucky rushed forward, anger infiltrating every fibre of his being. He threw a punch with his metal arm, a loud clang ringing out as it collided with the vibranium shield.

-

2024

“We’ll meet again

Don’t know where, don’t know when

But I know we’ll meet again some sunny day”

The room was pitch black aside from the blinking light on the record player, letting Bucky know that power was still running through the wires of the machine, keeping the same song spinning, over, and over, and over again.

The same one that’s been playing for the past 2 months. Over, and over, and over again.

The door creaked, sending a stream of light cascading across Bucky’s ridden features from his place where he was sat staring blankly at her tags laying in his flesh hand. He had started wearing them when she insisted, just in case anything were to happen to her, she wanted him to have a physical reminder of her. He had refused to give her his own, not wanting to admit anything might go wrong to where she would need them.

What a joke.

Zola had recovered them from around his neck, later to be stored away and then found by Steve in 2015 during a Hydra base invasion. He had immediately recognized the name pressed onto the material, and assumed someone who was an undercover agent snagged them during the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D., never thinking anything more of it.

“This isn’t healthy, man.” Sam spoke softly from the door, his hand never leaving the doorknob.

“When we got snapped away, I didn’t mind it.”

Sam opened the door even more, sliding in the slim crack, closing it behind him.

Bucky’s glance never faltered.

“I thought that maybe, I’d finally see her again. And, I know it was selfish-” He laughed dryly, meeting Sam’s warm eyes.

“But she wasn’t there. When I died, she wasn’t there.”

Sam’s arms were crossed, now, and he was unsure of how to proceed with the fragile shell of a man in front of him.

“Then everyone came back 5 years later, she still wasn’t there.” He chuckled once more, feeling over her name on the plates, tossing the chain over his head. It was quiet, the record stopped.

“And this sounds crazy, but I got to thinking, that she must still be alive-”

“You know she’s gone, Bucky.”

James stood up, walking over to Sam, a terrifying blaze set in his eyes. He was frantic, hands moving about the air, neck straining.

“She’s not, Hydra has her! I’m certain, just like they had me. What else would explain her not being there?”

“You’re in denial,”

“No, I’m not! She’s waiting for me! She’s waiting for me to come find her, Sam!” He yelled, every word louder than the last.

And Sam Wilson had enough. 

“Alright, that’s it.” He grabbed James by the wrist, taking his chances.

“What are you doing?”

“Putting some sense into you.”

More yelling and fighting ensued, all the way to the car, Bucky only ceasing his behavior upon realizing where they were heading. He was silent, then.

Getting out of the vehicle, they stepped onto freshly wet soil, green patches fading to a burnt orange, the rain a poor attempt at revival. They could hear their own footsteps all the way to their final destination, turmoil settling in.

“Why’d you take me here, Sam?”

It had started raining, the cold droplets making his hair stick to his forehead, and his tears invisible.

Mere inches before him sat two headstones, both fairly worn. The first, reading “Cap. Steven Grant Rogers, a true American hero. Loving brother, friend, and son.”

The second? Her.

Most of the words all blended together, it was clear Steve’s was the only one that had any regular visitors, willing to clean off any dirt or grime, or occasionally bring flowers (always red roses for Cap, as for his wife, he hoped that when it did happen, it was her favorites, lilies. He doubted it was, though). 

The only words that managed to stick out, at least to him, were “Barnes” and “loving wife”. He inhaled, capturing the scent of fresh rain and roses, grounding him. He felt an arm wrap around his shoulders, giving a light squeeze.

“I’m sorry I had to do that, but she’s gone, you know?”

He nodded, squatting down in an awkward position.

“Can I have a minute?”

Sam nodded, turning to go.

“‘Course, I’ll be in the car.”

Bucky waited until he could no longer see the outline of the shorter man, before taking the tags off from where they rested around his neck, positioning them utop the marble slab. He gathered a few weeds, messily shoving them into the vase, dirt and stray blades of grass falling all over the place. He tried to brush it off, only creating a sludge-like watery mixture.

He leaned forward, taking hold of the hard stone.

“I’m coming for you, sweetheart. I promise, I’ll find you.”

“Bucky?” Sam yelled from the car, confused at the extended amount of time his friend was taking.

James turned, yelling over his shoulder, “Coming!”

-

Once Bucky got back to the car, Sam reached over and patted his back, starting the engine.

“You think you’re gonna be okay?”

James only smiled, looking out behind him to where they all said was her final resting place, excitement for the future running through his veins.

“Yeah.” He said, sitting further back into the seat, closing his eyes. 

“I’ll be alright.”

·。·☆·。·。

hi!

disclaimer: (skip if u dont care) so i’ve had personal expiriences w alcoholism, and my pov has changed so much on the disease and as well as how to handle it w more empathy, and i just hope that is conveyed. my hope w my work is never to upset or offend anyone, and i hope u enjoyed. if u have a prob w anything, shoot me a message or ask to chat :)

go drink water, eat protein (if u can!) and take an electronics break. i love u, 

xx hj

[youssefguedira]

day 12

like before, already used up my memory loss card, so, internal monologuing it is,

[prompt: “who are you?”]

“Who are you?” the new one had asked.

“Andromache the Scythian,” she’d answered, before knocking her out. “But you can call me Andy.”

The funny thing is, she thinks now, driving in silence, is that that’s not even her name. She wandered alone for so long, nameless, that she’d forgotten what her name had been, all those millennia ago. Lykon had been the one to name her Andromache, when she’d told him she didn’t have a name, and she’d kept it ever since. Especially after he died, carrying a part of him with her always.

She’s been asked that question so many times over the years. Sometimes in fear, sometimes rage, sometimes genuine confusion. Always the same question. Who are you?

She’d even asked herself that question, especially in those lonely early years. Who are you? You, who walks this world alone, no family or home or true identity to fall back on. You, who doesn’t remember her own birth name. Who are you?

Quynh had asked her when Andy found her in the desert, her voice hoarse from dehydration. She’d looked up at Andy as if she couldn’t believe she was real and not a hallucination. “Who are you?”

Andy drew her knife and sliced open her palm, letting her blood drip onto the sand, holding it out so Quynh could see it heal. “I am like you,” she said, and that was all she needed to.

Lykon had asked, too. They’d found him in battle, taking on three people at once, and joined him without a thought. They fought together as they’d been doing it for years, watching each other’s backs on instinct alone. 

And then Lykon looked at them, and smiled. “I have dreamed of you,” he said. “Who are you?”

“Warriors,” Andromache answered, and Lykon laughed. 

“I meant, what are your names?”

Quynh introduced herself, but Andromache stayed silent until Lykon turned to her.

“And you?”

“I don’t know,” she told him. It was the truth. It still is.

“Then we’ll have to change that,” Lykon said.

He named her Andromache, and she liked the sound of the name. And in time, she made it her own.

Then Lykon died, but still she kept the name. It was hers, as much as anything ever could be.

Nicoló was the next to ask, many centuries later. They’d found him first, Yusuf close behind, and watched how he reached for his sword and moved just slightly to stand in front of Yusuf. “Who are you?” he asked defensively.

Yusuf touched his arm, and Andromache watched as Nicoló relaxed. 

“You are like us, no?” Yusuf asked.

Quynh nodded, and Yusuf smiled. Nicoló watched them both, slightly warily. The look reminded her of how Quynh had looked at her at first, like he couldn’t be sure she was real.

She offered her hand to Nicoló. “My name is Andromache.”

Nicoló looked at her hand, then her, and after some nudging from Yusuf, shook it. “Nicoló.”

And now the new one. 

Who are you?

Memories, memories, memories. Sometimes it feels like that is all she is.

She is every story she’s ever told Yusuf, every song she’s ever taught Nico, every game she’s ever taught Booker. Every fighting technique she’s ever taught the three of them.

Every promise she’s ever made Quynh, every joke she’d ever told Lykon. 

She is every life she’s ever tried to save. She tries to do some good, like Nicky says, and that is who she is.

But is it enough? The world gets worse and worse, and things change faster and faster. Too much for her to keep up with. She has seen civilisations rise and fall in what felt like the blink of an eye, but this new, constant onslaught of information is overwhelming, and she is tired. She has lived so long.

Who are you?

That’s the question, isn’t it, she thinks as she drives.

Who is she?

[scimitar-and-longsword]

Two requests if it's okay 1) a gif of the neck grab of pride Andy gives Nile after she jumps out the window. 2)Fic about Nile's first birthday as an immortal Thanks so much!!

Sorry this took so long lol. I really liked the prompt and I just wanted to get it right! We all know my brotp is Booker & Joe... Nicky & Nile are a close second....

—————–

26

There was a sliver of dull sunlight shining right across Nile’s forehead as she came to consciousness on the morning of her twenty-sixth birthday. Or at least it should have been her twenty-sixth birthday. She wasn’t quite sure on the details.

Did she even still count her birthday the same now? Was she twenty-six? Or perhaps only one? No- No. That sounded ridiculous. So maybe just the first anniversary of her twenty-fifth birthday?

Nile opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. It was a rather unremarkable ceiling, painted a faded a pale green. It was discolored brown from water damage in a few spots. 

She had been to this safe house once before. Two months ago after a particularly rough mission the five of them had limped in, blood soaked and exhausted. Luckily this time they had only been exhausted.

This was the first time she had been to a safe house twice. It was strange how much it felt like home after only having been there once for a week. But after seven months of new place after new place she felt a welcome familiarity with this crumbling cottage, small though it was.

She had known what bed was to be hers. No dragging of an old mattress from another room. No reshuffling of sleeping arrangements to accommodate for her. No Andy or Booker taking a couch or armchair. No Joe and Nicky sleeping on the floor because they both couldn’t fit on the couch.

Booker made a low pained noise in his sleep. And Nile’s thoughts were brought back to the present. 

Booker was in a bed perpendicular to hers, their head’s only a couple feet apart.

She glanced up at him, he appeared to still be asleep, his arm slung over his eyes.

Nile craned her neck to see Andy still asleep in the bed next to the door. Her immortality was gone but she still insisted on sleeping closest to the door. The first line of defense.

Joe and Nicky were directly across from her, huddled facing her in a bed that seemed too small for the two of them.

How old were each of them again? 953, and 950. Booker was 247...or was it 248?, And she couldn’t even guess at Andy’s age.

Would that happen to her? Her years becoming so numerous that she couldn’t remember the year she was born?

The sun had moved enough to shine irritatingly in her eyes, Nile brought her hand up to shield them. But after a minute or so, when her arm grew tired, she flipped onto her stomach. Her frustration got the better of her and she sighed loudly. 

Too loudly, apparently, as Nicky started awake and sat bolt upright in the bed across from hers. Joe too started, and sleepily said something to Nicky in Italian that Nile couldn’t quite make out. Nicky glanced around the room and made eye contact with Nile.

“Sorry.” Nile whispered.

Nicky gave her a sleepy smile and turned over to face Joe, responding to him in Italian as well, but this time she heard her name and the word for sleep.

Andy and Booker hadn’t even moved. Both of their breathing was as even as Joe’s was slowly becoming once more.

Nicky was obviously awake still, propped up on his elbow facing Joe. His other hand stroked Joe’s hip soothingly.

A minute or so passed where Nile turned the problem of her birthday over in her mind, before she gave up trying to fall back asleep. She got out of bed with a frustrated sigh, and exited the bedroom.

The rest of the cottage consisted of a bathroom and a small main room full of mismatched furniture and with what one might consider a kitchenette. 

Nile plugged in and turned on a hotplate and filled a kettle with water. She opened the pantry and was surprised to find a half used package of instant coffee. It took her a moment to realize that it was hers, left here from the previous stay in October.

She couldn’t help but smile to herself. Silly as it sounded, it was nice to find something she knew she had left behind for herself.

She glanced around the room, the little touches of each member of her new family were evident. Various swords hung on the wall above the small dining table. She was sure they were all sharp and battle ready. There was a single bookshelf that was full to bursting, with piles of books on the ground all around it.

Despite the cottage’s pathetic excuse for a kitchen there were nice pots and pans and a stand alone pantry pushed against the wall next to the small counter that currently held the slowly heating up hot plate. That would have been Ncky’s doing, Nile thought with a smile.

The water finally came to a boil and Nile made herself a cup of coffee. She looked out the window at the Welsh countryside and took a long slow sip of her coffee.

She started when she heard the door to the bedroom quietly click open behind her.

She wheeled around to see Nicky stepping into the main room, and closing the door behind him once more with another soft click.

“Good morning.” Nicky said quietly. He crossed the small room and took out a mug to poor himself some of the hot water.

“Sorry I woke you.” Nile said.

She opened the pantry and fished out a tin of tea. But when Nile turned to offer it to Nicky, he was already stirring in some of the instant coffee mix.

“It’s fine,” He said with a smile. And when he saw Nile’s look of surprise, “Sorry, do you mind if I have some of your coffee?”

“You never drink coffee.” Nile said, not really answering his question.

“I think you’ll find words like ‘never’ rather useless when talking to a 900 year old man.”

“I just mean- I’ve never seen you drink coffee. You have a cup of tea. Every morning. For seven months”

“We go through phases,” Nicky said, taking a small sip of his coffee, “Joe was particularly fond of coffee for most of the 1600’s.” 

“An entire century is a particularly long phase.”

Nicky chuckled. 

A comfortable silence fell over them for a while after that. Nicky sat at the small dining table and opened a book he had left there the night before. Nile stared out the window watching the morning fog burn off as the sun rose higher.

She thought about how much had happened in the two months since the previous time they had been to this safe house. None of them had died, thank god. But Nile had been shot twice in the leg, and Joe had taken the butt of a gun to the back of the head, knocking him out just two days ago.

Booker had had his throat cut so deep that Nile thought he was about to fade out as she held the wound together. Luckily he had pulled through, his healing repairing the damage as if nothing had happened. 

Try as she might to distract herself though, her thoughts returned to her birthday. Surely it wasn’t something that should bring her this much anguish. She was not the type of person to care about getting older, let alone now when nothing would change.

But she had seen the way immortality weighed heavily on Andy and Booker. She had even glimpsed it’s sting in Joe and Nicky’s eyes, though they were better at hiding it. At least from her.

“Did you dream of Quynh?” Nicky asked after nearly a half hour had passed.

“What?” Nile said, genuinely confused, “Oh- no. I had just been thinking and forgot I was in a room full of jumpy, trigger happy warriors. I sighed too loudly.”

“Was that what woke me?” Nicky smiled, “Perhaps I am a bit jumpy.”

Nicky returned his eyes to his book, but it really didn’t look like he was reading. In fact Nile was pretty sure she hadn’t heard him turn a single page in his book this whole time.

“It’s my birthday.” Nile said before she could overthink it.

“I know.” Nicky said simply, taking another sip of coffee, and lifting his eyes to meet hers.

“You-” Nile shook her head, a confused smile spreading over her face, “You know?”

“December 10th, 1994.” Nicky said as if that was an explanation.

Nile took a seat at the table with him.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Nile asked, and then hastily added, “I mean- I just feel kind silly for trying to hide it now.”

“I wasn’t sure that you wanted to celebrate.” Nicky said.

“It does feel strange.” Nile said.

“It always does.” Nicky said, he took a deep breath before continuing, “I’m afraid that won’t change.”

“Do you celebrate?” Nile asked, “I’ve been with you all for the better part of a year and I don’t think any of you have mentioned birthdays. Do you even remember yours?”

“October 22nd,” Nicky said, “On the Gregorian calendar at least.”

“So you remember, you just don’t celebrate.”

“Sometimes we do. Big numbers, milestones.” Nicky said, “Booker’s 249th birthday was two days ago. Next year we’ll probably do something. But generally no, we don’t celebrate as a group.”

“As a group.” Nile turned the word choice over in her head, “So that’s Nicky and Joe speak for you guys celebrate each other's birthdays without Booker and Andy.” -or me.

Nicky laughed, nodded, and took another drink of coffee.

“Wait- October 22nd? The last time we were here was on your birthday.”

“That’s true. This is one of my favorite safe houses, I imagine Andy picked it for that reason.”

“I missed your birthday. And I could have done something- gotten you a present or made you a cake.”

“I don’t need anything from you Nile.” Nicky said.

“I know you don’t need anything. But if you want to celebrate with someone I could have made an effort-”

“Do you want to celebrate today Nile?” Nicky cut her off.

Nile blinked at him for a moment. Did she?

“I’m not sure. With Andy and Booker the way that they are- it feels selfish.”

“Forget about them. Do you want to celebrate?”

“I think so?” Nile took a deep breath and tried to order her thoughts, “This will be one of the last birthday’s that my age reflects how I look. One of the last times my birthday will have meaning beyond just being a piece of trivia to remind me of how long I’ve been frozen in time. So yes, I think I do.”

“Good.” Nicky said with a small smile. He got up from the table.

Nicky disappeared into the bedroom and for a moment Nile dreaded him popping back out with everyone to surprise her. But no, that wasn’t Nicky's style. 

Instead, he returned a minute later carrying a small rectangular package.

“Happy birthday Nile.” Nicky said simply as he placed it in front of her, and took his seat once more.

“Nicky-” Nile started, but her words seemed to evaporate in her throat.

“Open it.” Nicky said, his smile was the biggest she’d seen it in months.

She took the lid off the box and found the unmistakable shape of a white jewelry box.

“When my sword, my first sword, the one I brought with me to the holy land from Genova, began to deteriorate beyond repair it was Joe who suggested I melt the steel down to keep. A memory from my previous life.”

Nile took it out and opened it slowly, in it was a delicate silver charm bracelet. On it was a single, rough looking charm.

“Joe wears a piece of it on a chain around his neck.” Nicky continued.

Nile knew exactly the charm he was talking about. A simple rectangle of metal that hung low from Joe’s neck.

“Booker has a vein of the steel in a ring that he hardly wears, Andy has an earring, though I haven't seen her wear it in decades,”  Nicky paused, “Quynh had a piece too, on an anklet. Though I suppose it’s rusted away to nothing by now.” 

Nile stared down at the bracelet, unsure what to do next. Nicky took a deep breath, She could hear the slight quiver in his breathing that he tried to suppress.

“I have more though, I’ll replace Quynh’s when we find her.” Nick said. He extended his hands out toward the box, “May I?”

Nile nodded and pushed the box toward him. He removed the bracelet and held it up for her, fastening around her wrist when she offered it.

“Don’t feel obligated to wear it every day, or even often. Joe tries not to wear his on missions if he can help it.”

Nile took a closer look at the charm, it was a square, rough and unpolished, much like Joe’s. She had never gotten a close look at Joe’s pendant so she didn’t know what if anything was etched into the metal. But as Nile turned the square of rough steel over in her hand she noticed a tiny but intricate cross indented into one of the corners.

“I don’t-” Nile started, she laughed and then a small sob escaped her throat, “Thank you.”

“You are very welcome.” Nicky said, his smile was back to the small one she was used to.

“Well now I have to get you something.” Nile laughed out another sob, followed by another, and then she was full on crying.

Nicky moved around the table to stand in front of Nile and pulled her into an awkward hug while she still sat. Her head fell into his chest and she threw her arms around his waist.

“Hey. Hey- shhhhh.” Nicky said. He placed a hand on the back of her head, the other arm wrapped around her shoulders and held her tight to him as she let the sobs rock her body for a minute.

“I’ll have other birthday’s Nile, as will you. Don’t pay it any mind. I don’t need anything. Though I imagine that’s not why you’re actually upset.”

Nile nodded against Nicky’s chest, vaguely aware that a wet spot was forming where her tears had soaked into Nicky’s shirt. He held her there for what seemed like hours, but in reality was probably less than a quarter of an hour. Until her sobs had subsided into the occasional uneven breath. 

“You haven’t missed Joe’s birthday yet.” Nicky finally said.

Nile laughed, pulled back from the hug, and wiped tears away from her cheeks.

Nicky took a step back, and placed his hands on his hips. He looked very fatherly in that moment, which made Nile’s heart ache, but it also warmed it ever so slightly.

“What about Andy?”

“I don’t know hers,” Nicky said, “But I don’t think she ever knew her birthday. She’s older than the idea of a calendar, or at least in the way we experience years and months.” 

Nicky stood in front of her for a minute longer before grabbing both of their mugs and taking them to the bathroom, where the only sink in the cottage was located.

Nile took another closer look at the charm. She suspected that the cross that was pressed into the metal had more significant meaning than just their shared faith in a higher power. She would have to ask him about it later when she was feeling less emotional.

Nicky returned but he didn’t hover, instead choosing to grab his book and move to an armchair by the front door.

When Joe got up at last he gave her a wink and pointed at the bracelet.

“It looks good.” he said, and then went to kiss Nicky good morning. 

Andy and Booker followed shortly thereafter, and the day passed mostly like any other.

That night she lay in the same bed she had started her day in, her heart much lighter. While it hadn’t been like any other birthday she had celebrated, it had been nice.

She got the distinct feeling that they were all aware it was her birthday. Even though no one else directly acknowledged it. 

Booker had gone for a run with her and sparred with her before lunch. Which wasn’t necessarily abnormal, but she did get more than one hit on him that she was pretty sure he let her land.

Andy was a tougher one to crack, but given that she had chosen this house for Nicky’s birthday and now hers, Nile felt like it wasn’t a coincidence. 

Nicky, with a little help from Joe, made a surprisingly good deep dish pizza using the fireplace for dinner.  Another thoughtful gesture that was not lost on her.

Nile looked up at the now familiar ceiling. And turned the charm around her wrist in her fingers.

She felt different. This wasn’t the first time she’d had to grapple with the consequence of her newly acquired immortality in the seven months she’d had it. But it was the first time she’d felt generally ok with it.

Up until now Nile had felt mostly like she had only lost things since she died for the first time. She had lost the world as she knew it, her life as she knew it. She had lost her family, and a home to call her own.

But for the first time she felt aware of how much she was gaining. The feeling of safety that only came with home. She genuinely felt excited to make her mark on countless safe houses all over the world. 

Family. Each of the other members of the Guard had already felt like a new family to her, but something about the simple understanding of today had made her feel loved in a way she had never experienced before. Each of their reactions to her birthday seemed to fit them all perfectly.

Things were different now, but she liked the small place she was carving out in their family.

Twenty-six years on this earth. She looked forward to what Twenty-seven would have in store for her.

((Available on AO3 as well, link on my tumblr 💜))

[letsperaltiago]

ok time to break my silence caused by the fact that i spent all day making this lol too many feels 

so.. palm springs thoughts !! and there are manyyyy so buckle up and feeel free to hit me up with either matching or contradicting thoughts or whateveer!! i would LOVE to nerd out about this movie with someone:’)

here comes thoughts and pictures!! 

we basically start off with a mr. samberg sex-scene okAYYYYY the mood is set. we love the view

nyles aka. mr. samberg is the most gorgeous man alive and it was a true pleasure to admire him for 90 minutes straight 

CURLS!!????! THEY ARE UNREAL. i shall dedicate an entire post to them

Cristin Milioti is perfect for her role. her acting? *chef’s kiss* I love that she’s not the stereotypical female rom-com lead.

Her chemistry with Andy? Gosh.. Can’t believe Nyles x Sarah is my new main movie-ship!! They play off of each other SO. WELL. Their characters are equally stone cold and bitter, but then again not really, and they both portray it so well!!

“You don’t ned a leg up.” *moans* “Hold my leg up!” i SCREAMED

“Don’t you kiss me.” “Don’t you tell me what to do.” hoW DARE THEY!

Ok ur basically on love already stop it

The fact that they were just gonna fuck on a blanket on top OF ROCKS?!

but then again in this movie’s already insane universe it’s prob pretty normal:)

The overall dark, existential humor?? This is what I live and breathe for on a daily basis. Basiaclly both main characters are a BIG MOOD

Nyles not giving a shit vs. Sarah severely freaking out in the beginning is an iconic dynamic

“I am the antichrist” and then the rock falling? For a hot sec I literally thought the movie was gonna take a turn with Nyles being some magical/scientific creature that’d created the timeloop or something idkkk ahhha

Nyles in the suit... ridiculous(ly hot)

The torture methods Roy uses on Nyles and the fact that he’s not mentally scarred?? How?? 

On that note I love that Nyles and Sarah keep their memories even if the day starts over. Would’ve been a completely different concept if they had to “meet each other for the first time” every day and it wouldn’t’ve allowed their relationship arc to evolve as it did 

Darla is the fucking shit 

Nyles in the baseball cap, amirite?

THE BARTENDER TALKING ABOUT HITTING A GUY WITH THE CAR SHE’S CURRENTLY GIVING NYLES A HANDJOB IN IS COMEDIC GOLD 

“You fucked Jerry Schlieffen?” “Well he fucked me.” Yes SIR. Andy Samberg’s characters are all bottoms and we’re here for it

Sarah’s tongue click and “nice try” when Nyles asks her about her sex life?? 

IDK WHY BUT SO GOD

Randy is hella annoying. That’s it. That’s the tweet.

THIS ENTIRE SCENE:

the fact that they both start waking up smiling because now at least they have each other 🥺😭🤯

uhm i love a good ship that’s like... best friends to lovers and the montage of them basically becoming besties killed me 

this outfit Y E S: 

sarah falling off the car and nyles laughing it off is relationship goals

the crashing plane I LOL’ED

okay so... big moment... the DANCING AND MATCHING OUTFITS? THEY ARE MY DREAM TEAM. Also how excited they are running away from the bar 🥺

IM POSITIVE THIS IS THE MOMENT NYLES KNOWS! LIKE HE DOESN’T ADMIT IT TO HIMSELF COMPLETELY BUT HE KNOWS 

the bomb in the cake and french pirate-skit? so fucking random but i lovee it because it’s so them

*DRUM ROLL* PERHAPS MY FAVORITE MOMENT IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE: 

STORYLINE WISE AND VISUALLY A++++

the deep talks by the fire were SO well written. they were actually deep and genuine, allowing the characters to grow and opening up to us as viewers but also remained fun and witty

sarah trying to get nyles to admit he cares for her and him joking it off??? the flirtinggg

really wish we’d gotten to know more about what nyles meant with “it drifts away: just like they all do.” because it really seemed to trigger something within him. Like WHO “They”???

the dinosaurs lmao no comment but at least they got a cute cuddly moment

from the very first millisecond inside the tent you can CLEARLY tell Sarah is just dying to do something about them!!!

 the disbelief on nyles’ face when sarah says “lets just get it over with” because she’d clearly stated he didn’t want to and even though he obviously did he’s respected it and not done anything further about it oh babey

we love some good making out:’))) 

NYLES HALTING TO TAKE IN THE MOMENT EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO SCREAM INTO THE VOID 

i will die for a post-sexy timez cuddle and how sarah is trying to staying awake to be besides him is just *explosion* 

this has to be *the moment* she realises 

and they’re both sooooo fucking happy when they wake up after damn love me like that pls

THE GROOM BOOO FUCK OFF CAN’T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO REMEMBER HIS NAME CHEATING SCUM 

THIS FACE:

Baby is trying so hard and is so cute and nervous about it. SARAH LISTEN TO HIM HE LOVES YOU.

HE FELT GOOD WAKING UP BECAUSE OF YOUUUU, GIRL. DO NOT CALL IT “FUN”, SARAH 

“Going to bed maybe just got a little better” 😭😭😭😭

The entire cop scene is just pure insanity, very Lonely Island and I’m here for it even though I just want Sarah to rEALLY LISTEN TO WHAT NYLES IS TRYING TO SAY 

“Pain is real” oh babey that means SO MANY THINGS 🥺💔

“I followed you into that cave because I liked you!” like jake would say: don’t love how we got here but we’re going where i want

“pretentious sad boy” me

not shocked that they’ve hooked up before because c h e m i s t r y but don’t like how it got out :)))

why is nyles’ one sleeve shirt rolled up? im triggered

drinking pure vodka? oh babey its gonna be okay 

WE LOVE A SMART BOI WHO RECOGNIZES HIS GIRL’S PERFUME 

Sarah’s parents singing:)) i would cry too, nyles

"I love her.” “I see... That’s interesting” lmao savage

I actually really love Roy’s character. It turns out to be very humble actually and he has some insightful and lowkey poetic that lines i love. Besides that he’s hilarious. 

SO the whole time i was wondering how they’d get out of the whole “same day forever”-thing, if they were to. and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that they had such a logical way out of it: science. Not anything cheesy like “a true love’s kiss” or “you learned your lesson”. Pure logic and Sarah’s hard work to get there. Huge fan of this. 

I will never get over how good Nyles looks waking up and Sarah is xtra pretty in that scene:’) 

Nyles just wants to stay in a loop forever because it means for sure that he gets to stay with Sarah forever and I’m lowkey into it but also like lowkey LISTEN TO HER AND GO WITH HER PLAN, NYLES

“I wanna stay with you” *sniffles*

“I love you. How about that?” PRETTY FUCKING GOOD 

I love Nyles’ character development. He started off so nonchalant and cold, closed off and by this point he’s the softest, smiliest in love fool I’ve ever seen and Andy does it so good. SAMBERG HEART EYES!!

“Nothing is real in here” YES SARAH UR LOVE IS

I’m taking Sarah’s asking Nyles to believe in her and leave with her as her first “I love you” because it’s very clear that she wants to leave with him rather than without. 

just- this entire scene i ugh <3 <3 <3 <3

BREAKING. UP. WITH. MISTY ! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

glass of wine filled to the brim? sarah’s my type of gal

the speech was really beautiful and sweet without being too cheesy and kudos to cristin for really delivering it like a pro! especially her “abe, don’t fuck this up” like yes girl kill him, chop him to pieces with your eyes!!! also camila is such really pretty bride

nyles looks like a cockatoo here :

nyles taking the shot and smashing the glass into the ground got me 🤭😵😏🥵

“I’m your son” I SCREAM

GIVE THE MAN A WHITE HORSE DAMNIT

Gotta admit Sarah looks like a bomb (lol nu pun intended) ass super hero in her bridesmaid dress and C4-gettup 

The sentence ending up being total grammatical gibberish but Nyles trying so. damn. hard is the sweetest thing ever and should and will go down in rom-com history. It’s super romantic but also well-balanced by humor and I just.. so good. This is the kind of characters and relationships I love and wanna write myself 

“you’re my favorite person that i’ve ever met” 🥺🥺🥺

“i’d rather die with you than live in this world without you” WHY AM I SO SINGLE SOMEONE LOVEE ME LIKE THIS 

okay so idk but “what if we get sick of each other?” “we’re already sick of each other. it’s the best.” is so so so soft, the way nyles says it like it doesn’t matter and is honestly another key moment for me: they’ve experienced basically everything imaginable during their time in the box/loop. they’ve liked, disliked, loved, hated each other and still: he loves her. the fact that nyles knows no matter what happens it won’t stop that because it’s them?? ouch my heart. 

this chaotic mess of a pairing?MESSY BOMB BRIDESMAID AND CURLY-HAIR HAWAII SHIRT-BOI!! MY OTp

Them dissing Nyles’ mom on their way into potential death? that’s love, baby 

the fUCKING KISSSSSSS MANNNNNNNNNN!!!! SO ICONIC AND THE EXPLOSION IN THE BACKGROUND AND JUST WE DESERVE THIS THEY DESERVE THIS EVERYONE DESERVES THISSSS!!! 

NEVER OVEER THIS EVER FOREVER NEVER

Ok so I was SURE that when it faded to black that it was done and I grew super ficking frustrated because it would leave us with this “the ending is up to whatever you chose”-kinda thing kinda a la Celeste and Jesse where it just feels unresolved and I WASN’T OKAY WITH THAT. So I’m so happy we got to know that it worked and the bebes will live happuilly ever after with Nyles’ shaggy dog:’) 

Their hands on each other’s knee >>>>>

all in all 100000/10 

[nickydestati]

duolingo tog prompts #2

thank you to @lesbianjaskiers (i can’t tag you for some reason :’( ) for sending this lovely prompt! i hope you like some andromaquynh to ease the soul 💚

prompt: my wife? i adore her! (ma femme? j’adore!)

***

sometimes andy still thinks it’s all a dream. sometimes she wakes up and her hand reaches frantically for the other side of the bed to feel if she’s still there. sometimes she opens all the doors and all the closets, even the cabinets in safehouse-kitchens that are way too small to fit a human, just to make sure nothing is locked. sometimes she barely dares to whisper her name, afraid the disturbance of the air might whisk her away again.

quynh.

but she is there. she is there right now, dancing and laughing with the others on the too crowded dance floor in a small, dubious club that plays the absolute worst music this age has to offer. at least nicky seems to genuinely like it.

andy watches them from the bar. her aching feet and the wound in her shoulder from their latest mission she’s still recovering from forced her to leave the dance floor after four hours of nonstop dancing. quynh offered to come with her to the bar, but andy assured her she was fine with a smile and a soft kiss. the last thing she wanted was to spoil quynh’s fun. 

now quynh and joe are dancing some awfully hard step sequence dating from the time before everything went wrong, reminding each other of the precise movements. joe is sloppy and clearly improvising most of it, but quynh is surprisingly elegant and smooth, as if she has danced it every day of her long life. nile watches closely, nodding and smiling as nicky explains to her the history of the dance and the way joe is absolutely butchering the technique. booker claps along to the music and shouts his approval at the moves.

people around them start to notice, and soon, a small circle of spectators has gathered around them, cheering them on as their playful game turns into a serious dance battle.

andy cheers right along with the crowd. her chest tightens as she sees how quynh throws her head back and laughs like she has no care in the world. like she has never had any care at all. 

how has andy ever lived without her?

they have known each other for thousands of years. she doesn’t remember the time before, apart from an aching loneliness of which the shadow sometimes still hollows her bones. for the rest, it was always them. them against the world. them against time. them against death. 

until it wasn’t anymore. 

andy doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to forgive herself for giving up on quynh. probably not now her life suddenly has a countdown like normal people. she can live with that, though, with not forgiving herself. she can die with that. 

she pushes the thoughts away. there are times to think of such things, but now is not one of them. instead, she lets her mind return to the nearer, happier past where she’s returned to quynh’s side. 

even she finds it hard to fathom the sheer longivity of their love. compared to theirs, even joe and nicky’s love seems like a budding flower at the first warmth of spring.

after such a long time, the need to validate that love has long since faded. it’s part of nature, part of the laws of physics, it just is and always has been and will always be. so they never felt the need to make a statement by marrying wherever it became legal like joe and nicky did. still, when quynh asked her, in a quiet moment when the weight of andy’s mortality pressed down on them like a mountain, andy said yes. yes a thousand times.

till death do us part. 

and beyond, andy always finishes silently. for if everything they have suffered through couldn’t part them, then nothing will. least of all death. she is certain of that.

on the dance floor, the dance battle has advanced to a show off of every possible dance style joe and quynh know, most of them long forgotten or chased away to the far corners of the world. after a while, joe plucks nicky from the crowd for a jive. it’s a clever move: joe is a great dancer, but the two of them together is quite the sight to behold. then nile suddenly steals the spotlight and makes the crowd go wild when she drops in a secret talent for hip hop no one of the guard knew she had. 

but still, but still, but still. when quynh, passionate and light and free quynh reclaims the dance floor, she’s the one stealing everyone’s breath away.

and andy’s most of all. 

‘you really love your girlfriend, don’t you?’ a girl next to her asks with a warm smile as she notices andy quickly wiping away a tear. 

‘my wife?’ the corners of her lips curl in a soft smile as she watches her family applaud and hug and bow before quynh as they congratulate her on her victory. her thumb strokes the golden ring on her finger. ‘i adore her.’

[toonytoodles]

Some of my story ideas, there's a lot here, but if you read let me know which ones you like/dislike, what ones you would or wouldn't read, feel free to leave comments or suggestions, and just give me your opinions 😊 So without further ado, some story ideas I had (some are still being workshopped, if you have ideas for those just let me know ❤)

-

Don't shed light on it!/ The scales aren't in my favor;

Avery is shedding and is embarrassed, making an attempt to hide it, especially from her friends... She's the only reptile amongst her friends and is worried that she'll be seen as weird and gross if they see her skin falling off.

-

A "little," cold?/ Emma and the giant cold;

Emma catches a small cold, and after falling asleep at school (and partially on the building), she's sent home, so Avery brings her her homework, and ends up volunteering to hang out with her and help her out with stuff until she feels better, which is a lot harder than Avery initially thought, because Emma's house is difficult for her to navigate without Emma... But she really wants to help so tries to get around without her, hiding the difficulty she's having

-

Big fear/ A crushed dream;

Emma has a nightmare in which she hurts her small friends accidentally, and can't stop thinking about it the next morning. She begins avoiding them in fear that she'll do something terrible, she stops talking to them at school, and eventually stops showing up to school at all. Avery goes to her house to confront her on it, which only makes things worse...

-

Cat fight/ Sibling rivalry;

Andy and Andie are fighting, more than usual, and decide that just because they're siblings doesnt mean they have to be friends, and end up spending some time apart.

-

Mixed Results/ Goin' through the potions;

When stocking the shelves in the shop, Avery accidently knocks over several potions, ensuing chaos when the effects of each vial takes place at the same time.

-

Slumber party / Girls night;

Ave & friends girls night! Followed by a camp out slumber party

*needs a little something

-

Love Bug/ A push in the right direction?;

Emma and Avery's friends work together to put the two through various scenarios in an attempt to make them finally become a couple, believing they need a push to make it happen. When all else fails, Andy foolishly uses a love bug to get the two to confess their love, as messed up as that is, it gets even worse once he loses the bug.

-

Big problem/Little problem;

Emma gets frustrated at being so big, and wants to be shrunken down, just for a little while. She asks Avery for a potion, but Avery refuses to give her one, causing a fight between the two, it escalates to the point where Emma steals a potion from Avery, that she doesn't know how to use, causing a little problem...

-

No title/ Lost title;

The gang faces off against a herd of memory trolls in the woods, but they don't remember that. They wake up in the middle of the woods with most of their memories gone, they struggle to get along and struggle to find their way back home, it's a strange journey back to Tradeskeep

-

How to raise a Draconic / Eggstraordinary origins;

A look into how Avery's egg came to be with her parents, and how they managed to raise her

-

Smitten kitten / Head over heels;

Andie and Sofia have a crush on the same guy and have a small fight over him, Sofia usually never speaks up about things like this, and it makes Andie mad that this is when she tries to take a stand, she's not giving up on getting this guy. Sofia gets scared and backs off, so the fight kinda ends up being one sided. Andie ends up being mean to Sofia over it, and doesn't realize how mean she's being until she does something stupid and petty she regrets

-

Avery meets Emma/ Emma meets a bean;

Kid Avery attempts to make friends with a nervous giant, but the young giant, Amelia, has never been around someone smaller than her before and doesn't know what to do

-

Oh Deer/ Magical mishap;

Clementine has been studying magic, and attempts to do a few advanced spells, all of which go horribly awry

-

The centaur of attention / Marely passing through;

A young centaur adventurer is passing through Tradeskeep, and during her stay she encounters a group of girls around her age, though she's a bit hesitant at first, she ends up quickly befriending them. She stays around for a couple days before she moves on, but she keeps the stop and her new friends in mind, visiting every now and again.

-

Dreaming/ Awaken;

Something happens to the small town of Tradeskeep, causing its people to fall asleep, all of them. People in the market, the tavern, their homes, the school- they're all asleep. Adventurers heroes and travellers passing through attempt to investigate the small town, soon becoming drowsy, they must investigate from the outside. While others search for a cause and a cure, the people of Tradeskeep dream of altered realities and terrible nightmares.

-

The big date/ The insecure dragon;

Avery and Emma have a date at a giant restaurant, and shortly after they arrive, something happens that causes Avery to ask Emma to take her home. Emma attempts to talk to her, but it only makes things worse... A few days later they're able to talk it out, and try it again, with it going much better the second time.

-

Evil Avery/ Dragonic Dopple ganger;

Avery means to take a Duplicate potion to allow her to be in more than one place at the same time, but gets mixed up and instead uses a Doppio potion. This causes her to be split into two versions of herself, a neutral good version, and a chaotic evil version. One Avery keeps running off to help people, while the other keeps running off to hurt people.  Unable to tell them apart, people are confused as Avery comes over and causes a problem, then runs back in and fixes it. The two need to be together to be able to reverse the potions affects, but getting the two together and keeping them around long enough to undo it is much easier said than done.

-

Snow way to the dragonlands/ Snow way home;

During the holiday season, Avery is eager to go to the dragonlands and participate in the Fire Festival, but due to heavy snowfall surrounding Tradeskeep, travel is nearly impossible. This makes Avery incredibly upset. That night as she packs a bag, steals several potions from the shop, and leaves to go to the dragonlands. Her parents go to check on her, and when seeing that she was gone began to panic and call around, trying to figure out where she could've possibly gone. Upon receiving the phone calls, people began to go out and look for her. It begins to snow again, meanwhile Avery isn't doing as well as she thought she would, she's cold, tired and hungry, and soon she's lost. Everywhere she looks is just blankets of snow, and new snow fall quickly covers her tracks. There's no way home now, and it's getting colder.

-

Avery, Andy, & Drew;

Avery Andy & Andie have basically known each other since birth, this story basically explains how they grew up together, and how they've changed over the course of time. Andy goes from awkwardly trying to be extroverted and cool to being comfortable with being a quiet nerdy introvert, Drew becomes her true self, Andie, and Avery, well, Avery never really changes. The three of them have been through a lot together, and this slice of life side story just tells some of those tails~

-

Water you?/ Wets be friends!;

Young Andie, Andy, Avery & Emma meet a young Pond, they're immediately intrigued by her, and well, as little kids, it's sorta easy to become best friends quickly

-

A new friend/ Hi deery;

Clementine's new to Tradeskeep, but makes friends with a group of other kids

-

Pink with Envy/ Not berry subtle;

Audrey starts flirting with Emma, and, uh, Emma doesn't seem to be arguing it... Avery tries to brush it off, Audrey sorta just has a flirtatious personality and Emma's really nice... But literally everyone who sees them talking thinks they're hitting on each other, making Avery's anxiety worse about it. She's really worried about Emma seeing how much better Audrey is, and she starts to become genuinely concerned that Emma is losing interest in her... She tries to keep her jealousy and insecurity in check, but Emma can tell somethings up. When they talk about it, something happens that shows Emma how Avery really feels, and Emma tells her that she feels the same way, so though Avery is still mildly annoyed by Audrey, she's not really worried about Emma breaking up with her or leaving her for some one else anymore. After what happened, she realizes how silly she's been.

-

Blank space/ Making my mark;

Ty wants to get his mark, and Avery tries to help him, but to no avail. They spend the whole day trying different things to try to get his mark to appear, trying out different hobbies and activities, there was bound to be something that he likes, and Avery intends to help him find that passion, but she gets a bit over involved and starts trying to push him, to help of course.

-

The egg/ Whatever it takes;

Avery finds an abandoned egg, and, sorta projecting onto it, is determined to reunite it with its parents no matter what it takes, cause no one should ever be abandoned like that. Her friends are understanding to her need to take care of it, they're quickly able to put together why she has to do this, and help her out with finding the parents, which proves to be sorta difficult... But eventually they find the parents, and everything's alright again.

-

Kalvins wish/ You remind me of the babe;

Kalvin is upset by how fast Avery's growing up... If only she could be a little kid, just for a little longer... But he never expected it to actually happen. Avery begins to age backwards, slowly losing her memory as she regresses. It's a race against time as her parents rush to figure out how this happened and how to fix it. They try to keep it quiet at first, but end up having to call in reinforcements to get this fixed as quickly as possible.

-

A head in life/ Do you need a dullahand?;

Frustrated, Sofia shares some of her struggles as a dullahan, which Avery mistakes as an ask for help. She attempts to find ways to help Sofia out, but Sofia just sees it as Avery treating her really weird. Sofia gets mad at Avery, and the draconic thinks that she's not helping enough, so this goes on for a while until Sofia gets really mad, and Avery realizes that she was just venting, and didn't actually need anything. In the end they just sorta laugh about the misunderstanding and become closer because of it. At least now Sofia knows she can a ask Avery for help when and if she needs it.

-

Swap meet/ The perfect present;

Clementine finds a magical artifact at a swap meet, but they won't take her money, they want a different item, so Clementine runs around swapping items to try to get the item she wants. Meanwhile, Andy and Andie go around the swap trying to find the perfect birthday present for the other.

-

Andy's birthday / Andie's birthday;

The kittwins are celebrating their 17th birthday! They celebrate with a get together outside the tavern, with their parents and their closest friends. They spend the afternoon getting presents from their loved ones and eating cake and ice cream.

*needs a problem/conflict of some kind

-

Sapphire & Kalvin / The pirate and the mercenaries;

Mercenaries Micheal and Kalvin are in search of treasure they were hired to find. However, they weren't alone, as pirates came to find the same thing. The treasure was in a booby trapped dungeon with a multitude of traps and dangerous wildlife, but the mercenaries were ready for anything, unfortunately, one of the pirates weren't. A member of the crew, a fairy, got captured in a carnivorous plant with no chance of an escape. While Michael went after the treasure, Kalvin saved the fairy. This fairy was named Sapphire, and after Kalvin saved her life, she decided to join them and became their partner in hired crime. Later on though, Sapphire and Kalvin became actual partners, and they'd go on to retire and open a potion shop in the small town of Tradeskeep. Michael would meet them again later on after he retired.

-

Dulladad/ A whole new life a-head of me;

A retired mercenary, Michael, meets a young dullahan girl on his way to his new home, and instantly falls in love, wanting nothing more than for her to be loved and protected. After learning she's an orphan, he feels that Fate has planned this and he takes her in. The two journey to Tradeskeep together, and the man adjusts to his new life in a small town as a black smith and a father, and neither was as easy as he thought it'd be. And although Sofia is happy and excited, she's also sorta scared. She's overwhelmed by the amount of changes happening so quickly, and struggles to adjust. Things are made easier though when Michael meets up with some old friends, and Sofia makes some new ones.

-

Ponds problem/ Element-emotion-al;

Ponds parents are having another kid... Yay?... Pond has... Mixed emotions on it... She's not mad at her parents, or against another kid, she just... She'd never considered her parents having more kids, she's been the only child her whole life... Everything's gonna change... Luckily Emma's a big sister, and she gives her some advice.

-

Rainy day/ Video chat;

Since its pouring in Tradeskeep, schools been cancelled and shops have been closed, so the girls decide to video chat all day to prevent boredom. We get to see more slice of life stuff as they're stuck at home for the day, seeing some of Emma's younger siblings filter in and out and wanting to talk, over hearing parents, chatting while doing chores or studying, stuff like that.

-

Ponds pal/ Invisibuddy;

Pond becomes quick friends with an invisible named Travis after being paired up with him for a school project. The two begin spending a lot of time together and become close, basically becoming best friends within a month.

*needs a problem/conflict of some kind

-

Wave hello/ Baby Brook;

Ponds new sibling is here! A water elemental named Brook. Ponds still a little nervous to become a big sister, but instantly falls in love with her.

*needs more, idk what tho

-

[bitchin-beskar]

Little Sister

Fandom: The Old Guard

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: This is my first fic EVER posted on Tumblr that isn’t about or involves Pedro Pascal in some way! While I am by no means abandoning him (trust me I have sooooo many ideas still for like... all of his characters) my other hyperfixation at the moment is The Old Guard, which means my brain wants to write fanfic for them as well!! This was posted first on AO3, but I’ll also be posting it (and any other works) here as well! I hope you guys like this, even though it’s different from what I usually post!

Tags: @perropascal

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in any of my works!

She wakes with a scream on her lips.

It’s not the first time Nile has dreamt of Quynh, of drowning, of iron cages deep beneath the waves. It’s not the first time, and if Booker is anything to go by, it’s far from the last. The others told her that the dreams stop when they meet, but how is she supposed to meet someone who’s been trapped at the bottom of the ocean for half an eternity? 

She’s crying, tears running down her cheeks, but all she can think about is how Quynh can’t even cry, she lives and dies and lives again too quickly for tears to ever form in her eyes. Her hand is at her throat, and all Nile can do is remember how it felt, choking on her own blood the first time she died. It still gives her nightmares, even now that she’s died and been reborn numerous times since then, she can’t even imagine choking like that for centuries upon centuries. 

Her whole body is shaking, vibrating with a need to get out, but she can’t, because the need isn’t her own, and the one who needs to get out is trapped and Nile can’t help her, oh god what is she supposed to do–

The door opens, but it only barely registers, like the sound of a bird outside or a car on the road, and she dismisses it as unimportant, not when her entire world is falling apart and she’s breathing but Quynh’s not–

Nile is actually, genuinely, startled when the mattress in front of her and next to her dips, and she’s suddenly surrounded by two people that are radiating concern and worry so much that she can practically see it. Her vision is blurry from her tears, but she can tell that it’s Joe in front of her, which means that Nicky is the one next to her, rubbing soothing circles between her shoulder blades. It’s only when Joe gently grabs one of her hands and places it against his slow and steady heartbeat that she realizes how fast her pants of breath are coming.

“That’s it, Nile, breathe with Joe.” Nicky’s voice is in her ear, low and calm, just like Joe’s heartbeat, and her thoughts aren’t racing quite as fast as they were before. “Just like that sorellina, breathe.” 

Joe is looking at her so earnestly, with such softness in his gaze that Nile wants to cry even more. Nicky’s forehead is pressed against her temple, and she reaches out blindly for him with the hand not already occupied by Joe.

Nicky grips her hand tightly, intertwining their fingers, grounding her. Joe scoots forward until he’s the only thing that’s in her field of vision, his other hand wiping away the tears from her cheeks. They must sit like that for hours, although what are hours to immortals? Nile has so many hours left she doubts she could count them all, so she lets herself be selfish for just a little while, just a blip in her suddenly expanded lifetime.

Nicky finally speaks, although his voice is no less calming or soothing than it was when he first sat down with her. 

“Do you want to tell us about it?” 

Nile loves him for asking, but at this point, she’s not sure that telling the story again, reliving the repeated drownings again would do any good. She shakes her head, but now she’s thinking about it again, and she’s starting to panic again, and–

Nicky’s shushing her with soft, quiet noises, and Joe’s humming a melody she’s never heard, but it's beautiful and calm, and it helps ground her in the here and the now. Nicky’s pulling her back, encouraging her to lay down on the bed, tucking her underneath his arm so that her head’s resting on his chest, and she can feel his heartbeat, steady, pulsing, alive. Joe settles in next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pressing her back against his chest, like she’s seen him do with Nicky so many times before. 

She felt guilty, the first couple of times they did this, feeling like she was breaking some kind of sacred bond between the two, but Joe had put a stop to those thoughts quickly.

“Habibti,” he’d muttered, pressing a kiss against her temple. “I have slept beside Nicky for hundreds of lifetimes, and I will do so for hundreds more. If we can bring you enough comfort to allow you to sleep through the night, it is no hardship at all. You are family now, and that means Nicky and I will protect you while you sleep for the next hundred years or more, if you wish it.”

She’d hugged both men so hard that night, she was afraid she might have cracked some ribs, but if she had, neither one showed it. Every night, she would valiantly try to sleep on her own, and every night, she woke from nightmares. Joe and Nicky were always there in seconds, rushing in and taking her into their arms, soothing her with words in Italian and Arabic that she didn’t understand, but made her feel safe nonetheless. 

They’d become her protectors, in ways she hadn’t even known she’d need. When Andy had first told her of her immortality, Nile had foolishly thought that would mean that she’d never have to feel afraid again. And then the mess with Booker and Copley and Merrick had happened, and the nightmares of Quynh had happened, and Nile realized she had a hell of a lot of worse things to be afraid of now. But every night she slept sandwiched between Joe and Nicky was a night a little bit more of that fear chipped away. 

“Quiet your mind, habibti,” Joe murmurs, face buried in her shoulder, protecting her neck. “I can hear you thinking.” 

One of Nicky’s hands is buried in Joe’s hair, but the other is running soothingly up and down Nile’s arm, and she smiles sleepily. “I didn’t know mind reading was one of your superpowers, Joe.”

Nicky chuckled quietly, his hand settling on her forearm, holding her to his chest. “It’s called intuition, and he’s right. You’re tired, sorellina, try to quiet your mind. You need your sleep.”

Nile just mumbles, basking in the warmth and comfort that they’re providing her with. She’s on the verge of falling asleep, but there’s one question that just won’t let her rest. “Joe? Nicky?”

She can feel the sighs of both men, and the fond exasperation that filters through when Nicky answers. “What is it, Nile?”

“What does habibti mean? And sorellina? You haven’t taught me those words yet,” she mumbles, eyes closed. 

She can feel Joe’s grin, and she knows Nicky is grinning too. “Habibti means my love, in Arabic,” Nicky starts, and Joe finishes his sentence. “And sorellina means little sister, in Italian.” 

Nile sighs, her whole body relaxing now that her one burning question has been answered. “I guess you guys really do like me, huh?” She mutters, teetering on the precipice of unconsciousness. 

“Of course we do, Nile,” Nicky says, squeezing her arm at the same time Joe squeezes her waist. “We love you, little sister. Don’t you ever forget it.”

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

The Girl in The Blue Dress

Chapter 21: Planning the End

@megatraven and @aallotarenunelma and @catlovingwitch

I finally got this chapter done!! Even tho it took almost 3 months!! I like it and I hope y'all like it as well! And feedback is appreciated!

And while I did like this chapter, the next chapter will definitely be my favorite. It will have lore reveals, emotions, and some nice Olympus time. More information on the other Gods and it probably will mainly focus on Olympus. SOO!!! I'm excited for that one!! There's proofreading, but if something is wrong or sounds weird or text looks wrong or repeats itself, then my bad :(.

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“Because she’s my sister,” Oizys whispered out, her voice slightly shaky.

That sentence made him pause and he shook his head in disbelief.

“That's not possible.”

“It’s the truth,” she fired back at him. She crossed her arms and leaned against the door behind her.

“It can’t be. She’s a human. You’re a goddess. If she was your sister she’d have to be a goddess or some kind of demigod.” He felt anger at Oizys because the implication that she could be a goddess was going to give him false hope. He was used to teasing and tricks, but this was too far. He wouldn’t fall for it.

“What if she isn’t human? Hm? Did you ever think of that?! Ever think of the mere possibility at all?” She narrowed her eyes and that anger was rising again.

He shook his head slightly and let out a deep breath. “She’s dying because she has a curse," he explained. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked down at the ground. He didn't know if he should believe her, but his mind began to wander.

Is she saying the truth?

He ran his hand through his hair and began to think, but Oizys wouldn’t let him do anything. She walked towards him in quick steps and stopped in front of him.

“She is my sister. My other half. I’m the goddess of despair, so you should know what she is,” she whispered in an angry tone. “Why do you think she keeps coming back, huh? Don’t give me the ‘fate’ bullshit. She is cursed. She is cursed by being a goddess and always forced to come back.”

“No. Lumie cursed her in her first lifetime. She follows her everywhere! Including me,” he said as he looked up at her. Surprisingly, he saw a sad look on her face.

She nodded at him. “Yes, she did. But that curse was not to keep coming back. She knows what Rose is and she uses it to her advantage. She makes her come back over and over again and curses her to terrible fates.” She let out a shaky breath and continued. “And I’ve been searching for her, trying to protect her just like you have. But I can’t do it up close. My aura is just everywhere!” She stepped back and gestured to the area of the room, holding her arms out.

She dropped them and took a moment to put her words together. “People feel my presence and I can’t turn it off. I can’t stop these feelings from happening to her, I can’t help her from up close. I have to help her from afar, and that is a curse on its own.” She gets up in his face and points at him. “But you have been able to, and still haven’t figured out the obvious. Can’t you feel it? Or see it in any way?”

He then remembered about the woman he sees in his dreams and in the real world. “What did she look like when she was a goddess?” His voice was quiet as if asking a deep secret.

Oizys backed up and shrugged her shoulders as she thought. “I think she wore this like blue and white dress? And her hair wasn’t brown, it was actually black.” She ran her hand through her hair and sighed. “But what does her look have to do with anything?”

He opened his mouth to tell her, but he felt like he couldn't. He couldn't get the words out for some reason. Something was holding him back, and he didn't want to fight it. "It's nothing."

Oizys narrowed her eyes and he knew she didn't believe him, but she didn't care anymore. She already shared enough. "Fine. Just go to her." Her voice was full of venom and he didn't want to push her anymore. He opened the door to leave, but stopped when he collided with Rose.

"Oh! I'm sorry," she said as she backed up with a small smile on her face.

He laughed and closed the door behind him. "It's okay." He was about to ask her something, but he stopped when he saw her gaze looking at the door. She had a confused look and she looked like she was trying to remember something. "Are you okay?"

She looked back at his eyes and nodded. "Yeah, sorry. I'm just a little tired." She smiled and held out her hand. "Will you walk with me?"

He nodded and they held hands as they walked through the crowd of people. Apollo looked at many things in the palace as she led him through it, and looked even more in awe when he realized she was leading him to the garden. It was beautiful and Apollo couldn't stop looking at everything. Yes, he was from Olympus and there were more beautiful things there, but the fact that this was on Earth made it better for him.

"Wow. I didn't know you'd be in shock like this," she said with a laugh.

He looked at her and saw her smiling at him. Her eyes were so bright and seemed to glow in the shine of the night. Everything about her was beautiful, and he forgot everything that happened earlier. He just focused on her and the garden.

"I've just never really seen anything this beautiful." He kept looking at her, making sure she knew what he meant. And by the blush on her cheeks, she definitely did.

She let out a fond sigh and laid her cheek against his shoulder as they walked. They walked in peace and kept admiring the garden, but they stopped in front of a statue when they heard someone clear their throat behind them. They turned around and saw a woman who was clearly a queen. She had a golden crown on, a yellow dress on complete with multiple jewel accessories, and he felt Rose stiffen beside him.

"Queen Anastasia. What brings you here?" Her voice was clear and formal.

Queen Anastasia smiled at her and walked closer to them. "Sweetie, you don't need to use formalities with me." She laughed and held her arms out for Rose.

Rose smiled and gave her a tight hug that lasted for a few moments. They both pulled away and Anastasia looked at Apollo as Rose moved to be back by his side.

"Who is this?" She looked at him with suspicion and it would be terrifying if he was a normal commoner.

Rose looked up at him and squeezed his hand. "This is Andy. He's...". She struggled for a moment as she looked at him. She looked back over at Anastasia with a smile. "He's my very good friend."

Anastasia gave Rose a look that meant that she didn't believe her. But she smiled at him anyways. "Well, it's nice to meet you. Any friend of Rose is a friend of mine." She looked back at Rose and now her smile disappeared and she looked serious. "I wish I was here for nice reasons, but I am not. I need to speak with you privately."

Rose looked concerned and she nodded without hesitation. But then she remembered that Apollo was with her, and she looked at him with a sorry look. "I'm sorry, but I have to go with her alone. I'll be back soon, I promise!" She squeezed his hand and followed Anastasia to who knows where.

He felt a little confused as to why she needed to talk to her, but he knew it was probably mercenary business or perhaps it was personal reasons. He just decided to go back the palace and mingle with the people.

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Anastasia led Rose to a private room in the palace. It was the room where important decisions were made. May it be plans for war, plans for a party, or daily talk with the council. They always happened here. And now Rose felt worried for being here.

She led her to the table in the middle of the room. They stood beside each other and Rose got to see a map of the area. There were circles surrounding Anastasia's palace and a circle around a border between her and someone else's kingdom. She didn't know the little details, but she did hear about conflict spreading in different kingdoms.

"I need your help once again, old friend." She placed her hand on Rose's shoulder and looked at her with genuine need.

Rose sighed and placed her hand on Anastasia's and gave it a slight squeeze. She kept staring at the map and asked what she always did. "What are you fighting for?"

"This kingdom," she pointed at the kingdom behind the little border, "has been attacking me and my people for some time. It never was too serious. But now they are sending death threats, assassinating some of my council members, and are trying to kill my husband. This is going too far."

"Do you know why they are attacking you?"

"They are attacking because of the last war. You were there, and you know why we fought. And I need to ask of your help once more."

Rose thought about it for a second, but she knew what she needed to do. It was what she promised to do. She looked over at Anastasia and gave a sad smile. "I have to talk with my crew before I make a decision."

Anastasia looked slightly irritated at not being given a clear answer, but she knew Rose and that this is what she always done. She always went to her crew before she did anything. She wasn't alone and working solo, she had a crew and did everything together. So, she nodded at that response and let Rose go back to Apollo.

When she did return, she told him that they needed to go back to the ship immediately. He noticed her worried and uncertain look and felt worried himself. When they did get back to the ship, she made everyone come together on the deck and people looked concerned.

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"Alright. I've got some news and it's not really good," Rose said with a laugh.

Many members of the crew looked at each other with unease.

"Queen Anastasia came to the party as well and found me. She asked me for another favor. The kingdom is going through some troubles. A kingdom that is on the separate side of a border is attacking hers, and she asked for my aid. I'm considering helping her, but I need your opinions first." She looked at all of them with a serious look.

"Are you sure this is good? You still have your back wound that isn't completely healed," Melody said with motherly worry.

Rose looked to her side. "I know. But she doesn't seem to be actively going to the war. There is just planning so far. But if the time comes, I want to go and help her."

"Do you want some of us to go?" A crew member asked.

She looked back out at the crew and shrugged slightly. "It's up to you if you want to go, but I will not judge you for being afraid or not wanting to go. You have your own lives and only signed up for being a crew, not soldiers."

Some people looked relieved while others looked serious.

"I say you go if it is necessary. I'll go with you," a man said.

Many more voices followed saying that she should go if necessary, and the only person who didn't speak was Melody. She was beside Rose and she looked worried.

Rose looked at her and was waiting for her input. Melody was afraid, and everyone could tell, but her daughter had her own life. She shouldn't be afraid to live it because of her mother, so she nodded and squeezed her hand.

"I say you go if you need to." Melody smiled at her daughter and Apollo knew she was proud. She was worried, but proud and supportive.

Rose nodded and smiled. "Yes, I believe I have to go."

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Next thing Apollo knew, he was training with Rose more than normal. She was training him while he was training her. It was practice every day and he noticed something different about Rose.

She seemed distracted. When she was free, she would look at her book, but never really read it. And she loved that book. She only kept focusing on doing work, spending some time with the kids, and practicing. She was running herself ragged and he felt worry for her. He needed to talk to her.

With a loose plan, he decided to offer her another stroll. He walked up to her bedroom door and knocked. After a few moments, she opened the door wearing her blue toga. Usually she looked happy, but now she looked a little exhausted.

"Rose. I wanted to know if you'd like to go on another walk."

She nodded immediately. "I definitely need to talk with you," she said with a tired tone.

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They were now back on that shore where they first talked. The night was cool, the waves were calm, and everything felt good, even if it wasn't. They were both silent as they stood next to each other, but they knew they needed to actually speak.

"Andy, I have to tell you something."

He looked over at her and she was facing him with a worried look. "I'm open for anything, Rose," he said honestly. He smiled at her and she smiled back after a few moments. It was shaky but it was there.

"I think I like you," she said quickly. She was looking down at the ground and picking at her nails. Her voice was quiet with embarrassment.

He stared at her for a moment and was in shock. He never would've guessed she liked him back. She never truly showed it, or was he not paying attention? "You do?" He asked with a tiny bit of happiness.

She slowly looked up at him and nodded. He expected a smile on her face, but a frown was there. "But I don't know if that's good."

"What do you mean?"

She turned back towards the ocean and walked closer to it. She stopped when her feet were at the edge of the shore, the water always coming close to touching her. She stared at the horizon and he knew something was going on in her mind. Something she struggled with.

"I've never really liked someone before...I never let myself like someone. I thought it was useless and I thought it would only distract me," she said softly. She was embarrassed and scared. She never admitted this to anyone except her mother, so no one else knew what was going on in her head. They never understood why she only had one special night with a person and choose to never see them again.

She didn't want to get too close.

He walked to be beside her and looked out into the horizon as well. "What are you afraid of?" He directly asked. He knew she was hiding something and that she was afraid to tell him. Afraid to tell anyone.

She went silent for a moment and struggled for words. She was good with snark and arguing with people if need be, but talking about her personal feelings? It was too difficult and hard to deal with, but she needed to do it now. She needed to face her fear.

"I'm afraid of being left behind," she whispered out.

Apollo felt his heart drop at that. She was the one following others, leading them to a good fate, helping anyone who reached out, and helping the ones that she had to reach out to first. She helped everyone, and now he wonders if it was because she was scared of no one being with her.

"I want to help people, everyone knows that. It's because I do like helping people, and whenever I got that feeling that was deeper than just liking someone as a friend, I would cut them off. I was scared that eventually they would leave me because I'm doing a dangerous job, and if they didn't leave me, then I didn't want them to ever get hurt because of me. And I didn't want to lose friends because of my job that I love. I'm afraid of others leaving me, so I do everything for them," she said shakily. Her voice was tight and she was holding back words and feelings.

He reached out and grabbed her hand lightly. She looked down at their hands and went stiff for a moment, but eventually squeezed his hand gently. She looked back up at him and smiled. "But I guess that's a little stupid, huh? I tell people to hold each other close, yet I push people away."

"No, Rose. That's not stupid at all. It's okay to be afraid of something," he said in a gentle voice.

She kept looking at him and her thoughts were tangled together. Happiness went through her because she felt that it was okay to be afraid, but fear also went through her again. She was still scared of seeming weak because she was afraid of such a small thing.

She looked back down at the ground. "But...how is that okay? I'm a captain. I'm supposed to protect my crew at any cost and I work for the people. I don't listen to anyone. I listen to myself, and when I do that I feel fear."

He turned his body to face her and he made her face him. She had a pout on her face and looked truly scared. He moved his hand to cup her cheek and she leaned into it.

"My words will never be enough, but trust me when I say that it's normal to feel like that. Everyone feels like that at some point. Even I feel like that. I'm always scared of people leaving me, I'm scared of hurting people who I don't want to, and I'm afraid of myself."

"Yourself?"

He nodded and didn't explain. He didn't know how. He was a God and he couldn't tell her. He had all of this power at his fingertips and he kept it at bay, all for her and the people. But he scared himself because he worried one day it would slip out. One day his strength would be out of his control and he'd hurt someone.

"I'm scared all the time, Rose. But...when I see you, I feel okay," he said softly. Now it was his turn to be shy. He was glad it was night so she wouldn't be able to see his blush. He always was honest with her, but it always made him shy in each lifetime of hers, and each time he met her.

Her eyes widened slightly and a blush appeared on her cheeks as well. She'd been with a few people, but none of them made her feel like this. This feeling she didn't know how to describe. She'd read so much about love, adored it, but didn't even know she felt it.

She moved closer to him and pulled him into a hug. She rested her cheek against his chest and heard his heartbeat. It was calm and she wished hers was the same. He wrapped his arms around her and laid his cheek on the top of her head.

"I'm scared for the war. I still have wounds and I don't want to die. Not yet," she said. She was muffled but he heard her clearly. It made his heart drop once again, and he tightened his arms around her.

"I'll do my best to protect you, Rose. I'll follow you every step of the way, every day, and do what you demand."

"But you don't have to. You are your own man. What I want is for you to live as you want to and not follow my demand. Do what you think is right, Andy." Her voice was tight once again but it also was demanding. She meant business and it made him laugh on the inside.

"I know. I don't have to, but I believe what you do. I've followed you this long. I don't plan on quitting now, okay?" He looked down at her and hesitated for a moment before kissing the top of her head.

She was silent as she continued to think and listen to his heart. It was constant, calm, and it made her slowly calm down. It reminded her that she was still alive, he was still alive, they were still here, and everything wasn't over yet.

They still had time. And maybe with this time, she'll realize that she doesn't have to cut him off.

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That time, however, wasn't spent fooling around. It was filled with everyone planning for the worst possibilities and the best ones. They had to be prepared just in case she did die. Everyone didn't want to think about it, but they had to. And one person who really didn't want to think about it, was dear Ellie.

She was afraid of the idea and she didn't want to lose her mother. Apollo didn't know her background, but if she was on a ship filled with mercenaries, then something must've gone wrong. She finally found a family and a mother, and doesn't want to lose it.

Rose spent as much time with her as possible. Her attention was split between multiple people. Apollo, her mother, Ellie, the people, and her crew. She managed to spend time with everyone, but it took a lot out of her and he felt sympathy for her. She had all of this on her plate and barely let anyone know. The only time she let anyone know was when she went to sleep with her mother or joined Apollo back at the shore.

He felt worry, but he knew she could handle this. She had her crew and she had him always backing her up. She practiced every day with him and always made sure the people who were joining the war were ready. The only time he got to see the other side of Rose was when she spent time with him on the shore. She looked tired, but happy to be with him and he felt that happiness too. She let her walls down and he was happy to see the real her.

But every night when he went to bed, his heart would hurt. He finally got to see her, but...she was going into another war. She was already in a war before he met her, and all those scars proved that war wasn't kind. It never is, and he knows what else isn't kind.

Her curse.

It never showed mercy, it always hurt her no matter what, and no one could stop it. And now he knew the ending once again. He knew what was going to happen, but he still kept hope. He still believed he could change it. No matter how many times he had to watch her die, he believed he'd find her again and he'd do his best to protect her and end this. He wasn't going to stop now.

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Before they knew it, it was only a week before the war started. Rose's anxiety was rising and she felt scared. She agreed because she cared for Anastasia and wanted to help her and her people, but now her anxiety was getting the best of her. She didn't want to die, and she didn't want her friends to die, but she knew this had to happen. She knew Anastasia hated war just as much as she did, so she wouldn't propose the idea of war without reason.

But it still bugged her at night. The ship's rock would now make her feel sick and she felt like she couldn't breathe at some points during the night. She dealt with them alone and no one would get the chance to know.

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"Do you really think this is a good idea?" Apollo asked Rose.

She was getting dressed in the room they shared and he stood outside. The door was slightly cracked open so they could hear each other, and Apollo couldn't help but share his worries. They had just gotten out of another meeting with Anastasia and her council. They were still finishing the final touches of the battle and everything that still needed to happen.

She sighed as she pulled the nightgown over her head. "I'm not sure, Andy. But we don't have a choice. It's too dangerous to walk out this late at night. She held us longer than anticipated."

"She sure did," he whispered under his breath.

"You can come in!"

He entered the room and saw her sitting on her side of the bed, taking off jewelry. He smiled and laid on his side.

"You really love jewelry?" He asked with a smirk.

She huffed a laugh and shook her head slightly. "No, not exactly. I mean, if it's shiny, I like it. I'll wear it a few times and here and there, but I do not love it."

"So you're conflicted about it?"

She paused for a moment and nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."

They both laughed at each other and they ignored the seriousness of the situation for a moment. It felt nice to both of them to just think things were okay. To imagine that they were spending a night with a friend and going to face a bright day.

Once she was done, she laid on her side, facing away from him. She wanted to face him, but she still felt anxious and confused. She read books about love, but experiencing it? It was different and difficult. She wanted to face him just in case it was the last time she saw him, but she couldn't.

"Andy," she started. "Do you think this is the right decision?"

Apollo was facing away from her, but could still hear the hesitation in her voice. This question caused him to remember her past lifetime, and how she asked him the same question at one point. He took his time in thinking for an answer, not wanting to let her down or worry her more.

"I do. Violence is terrible, I know that, but I think we both really know that sometimes it has to happen." He waited for her to reply and she eventually sighed.

"Yeah. I guess we do know." Her voice this time was quiet and he could tell she was lost in her own thoughts now, and he decided to let her be.

However, someone wouldn't let them sleep in peace. Apollo didn't know how it happened or what truly happened, but the next time he opened his eyes, he saw Rose standing against the wall beside the door, hand reaching into the dresser there and grabbing her dagger, and waiting. He wanted to get up and ask what was wrong, but he knew someone was coming, and if he gave her position up, then she'd be in trouble. More trouble than he would.

He kept his eyes barely open and waited with her. Within a few seconds, a figure was walking slowly into the room. Somehow, the person didn't notice Rose right there and was shocked when she shut the door quietly and letting the sound of it closing scare them.

The person turned around with fear and took out a dagger of their own, but Rose was ready for that. She pulled a smaller knife out of the drawer and threw it at the person. The person groaned in pain as the knife landed right in their thigh. Rose took the opportunity to rush over to them and grabbed both of their hands and held them in the air. She took her other hand and placed it around their throat. She looked truly menacing.

"Just what do you think you're doing?"

The person didn't hesitate on answering. "I was on orders to kill you," they chokingly said.

She tightened her hand around their throat. "And by who exactly?"

"Queen Anastasia's rival."

Rose cussed under her breath before throwing the person to the ground and knocking them out. She looked over at Apollo and gave a worried look before running over to wake him up.

She shook him gently. "Andy, we have to go check on the others."

He opened his eyes immediately, surprising her, and getting up in a rush. "Where are we going first?"

"Anastasia and her husband. They'd be their first target."

He nodded and grabbed the dagger the person dropped and went with Rose. They walked down the hallways, being as quiet as they possibly could, and made it to Anastasia's room. Rose threw open the door to find Anastasia and her husband fighting off attackers. There were three, one with Anastasia, and two with her husband.

"With him!" Rose told Apollo as she pointed at the king.

Apollo nodded and followed her demand as she went to Anastasia's side. She took the attacker by surprise and stabbed them on their arm. It shocked them enough to where she could snatch the sword out of their hand. She threw it on the ground and out of reach. Anastasia knocked the person out as soon as she could and they both looked over at the king and Apollo to see them doing the same as them.

Once they were sure they were unconscious, Anastasia ran over to her husband and held his cheeks in her hands. "Are you alright?" Her voice that was usually stable and strong, was now weak with fear. Fear because of love. The king reassured her and she gave him a tight hug.

Apollo walked over to Rose and placed his hands on her shoulders and looked her up and down. He didn't see any wounds, but she was good at hiding them. "Are you alright?" He said with the same amount of worry that Anastasia had. Maybe even more.

She gave him a tired smile and nodded. "Yes, I'm alright. The attackers didn't have a chance against us, huh?" She placed her hands on his and squeezed them gently.

He nodded and kept looking at her until Anastasia cleared her throat. Apollo moved to be beside Rose and they both saw Anastasia holding her husbands hand tightly. She had a look of anger on her face.

"I hate to do this, but we have to have this war tomorrow."

Rose gasped. "Tomorrow?" She said in disbelief. "We can't do this so soon!"

"We have to. They were under orders, were they not? That man is trying to get rid of us before the war even begins! We have to strike back," she said with authority.

Rose opened her mouth, ready to retort, but the king held up his hand motioning for her to be quiet. She closed her mouth and nodded as she looked down at the ground. Apollo looked over at her and saw her hands in fists. He moved his hand to hold hers, and after a few moments, she held his hand back. It was tight and comforting to both of them.

Now, she felt like everything was going wrong. Everything was going to end, and Apollo felt that too. He knew her end was coming, and he had to get ready to face it again.

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SOOO!!! I kinda sped this one up. I mean, it took awhile to come out, but recently I worked on it and tried to speed it up in a way. I have the next chapter basically almost done!! I wrote ahead because I was so excited and I think it will be a great chapter!! I hope you three enjoyed this and I'd love to hear your thoughts♥♥!! Once again, there's some proofreading, but sorry if something is off.

[distinctivelibrarians]

@mcghosts for your prompt for a continuation of my Old Guard Leverage fic! Thank you!

Stain the Morning Sun

(read on ao3)

It takes...weeks. Months. To translate most of the journal. When the days are bright, and the nights long, Hardison finds it fun. It’s a new challenge - and one he can hold, can turn over in his hands and pick apart. So, it’s already a step up on the whole not dying thing he’s got going on.

He finds experts. Pores through decades old dictionaries and forgotten dissertations. He can’t quite wrap his head around the actual language, but he can pick out words, here and there, phrases, as more time passes.

He’s had to have Parker steal the journal back five times from overenthusiastic professors before he starts just giving out copies. It gets him less data, and more people calling him a liar and a fake, but it also means less damage to the journal itself.

Parker...Parker’s interested in the journal, sure. Flits around him while he’s working on it. Asks questions occasionally when he makes some excited chirp or annoyed grumble - often enough, he doesn’t even realize he’s made a sound at all until she’s popping up at his side asking what he’s found.

But it’s not the same. Not for her.

She’s...not better at this, than him. But she hides it better.

She takes bigger risks in her jobs. Comes back more full of energy than Hardison thought one person could hold.

She doesn’t ask what he doesn’t offer, and she just.

Lives.

And if both of them are pretending the journal ends one page earlier. Well.

Like he said, she hides it better.

Hardison wouldn’t even call it pretending. As far as he’s concerned, that page does not exist. If he wasn’t sure they’d wreck the binding tearing the damn thing out, he’d toss that singular page into the fire.

Just thinking about it puts the taste of copper and lead in his mouth.

And, frankly, there’s only so much orange soda a man can drink to wash the taste out.

(No, no, Alec! Look at me! Look at me! You’re going to be fine - you’re going to be- you’re going to be okay! Somebody call 91- Nope. No. Nu-uh. He had enough nights waking up screaming, ash on his tongue and no sound coming out, a pain in his chest flaring bright and hot and the memory of bright light searing into his brain, even as all he can hear is his Nana screaming. He had enough nights. Enough mornings. Enough days. Without the added memory, thank you very much.)

What really pisses him off though - what really sets his teeth on edge?

He’s not even fucking mad.

But he should be.

He should be so fucked off about being left alone. He should want to tear the journal apart, piece by piece, just for that last page, just for that weak attempt at an apology.

He should.

But he isn’t.

And, because emotions are a goddamn mess on the best of days in the best of people, that’s what pisses him off.

Because, as much as he can, he gets it.

Oh, sure, he didn’t at first. At first, when he’d found the journal full of chicken scratch over a hundred years old written in a language far older than even that, with one page in the back picked out in carefully precise english, he’d read through it with so much excitement, he’d given himself whiplash when he’d actually read the page.

I’m sorry I can’t be there.

The rest of the page talked of others - a small group, together for a century. Another, closer to home, that this stranger collided with and ran away from.

Nowhere in there did it say why they were separate. What made them - either this stranger and his friend, or hell, him and Parker - different, if they were all in this together.

So, yeah, when Hardison first read it, he’d been pissed.

And he’d been scared.

And then he’d started translating.

They weren’t perfect translations - not by a long shot. Not quite google translate levels of bad but… close. Very close.

But they spoke of everything. And absolutely nothing.

Daily observations. A passing memory. Stories shared between two kindred spirits.

He can’t get the depth, but he can scratch the surface. And what he’s seeing is a pair of lonely people, passing by each other in a dwindling orbit, but never quite colliding. One managed to find a family in that loneliness, as far as he could tell. It took halfway through the damn journal for him to get names for the faces in his dreams - but that moment he connected them? Connected Nicky and Joe and Booker and Andy with the flits of memories he only barely got to see…

Parker’s eyes, her smile, when he shared that finding with her would stay with him for the rest of his days, he was sure.

The last page had been signed with an ‘E’. Simple as anything, and all the more annoying for it. Hardison doesn’t get the name ‘Eliot,’ or ‘Sophie,’ until he’s almost done with the journal.

And by that point...he’s not mad anymore.

He doesn’t have the years, yet (and that is still terrifying to think of, so no thank you), to understand the loneliness that prompted the secrecy and the avoidance. Not by a long shot.

But he has a hollow in his chest, some nights, remembering those years before Nana. Those months before Parker.

There’s a… comfort, in knowing yourself. In knowing who you can count on and limiting it to yourself.

Parker gets it, probably better than he does, in her own way.

So. Yeah. Hardison gets it.

The page’s words sink like fire in his bones - pain flaring from his sternum uncomfortably hot and bright, and he knows he should be mad.

It takes months to admit he never was.

---

“You think we’d fit in with them?” He asks, softly, into the dark. The apartment he’s got right now is large. Spacious. And empty. The windows overlooking the city stretch from floor to ceiling, and, at this height, the cars are just twinkling lights, zipping by and creating fluorescent memories across the asphalt. If he squints his eyes just right, they bleed into the stars above.

“...Maybe.” Parker says, from somewhere above him. It’s soft enough that Hardison knows she’s still thinking on it. Stays quiet to give her time. “Maybe not. Does it matter?”

And the question’s genuine, sinking into the quiet between them with a weight that makes Hardison’s shoulders sag. “No, I guess it doesn’t.” They had their family. And, who knows, maybe a new one would come along and fit right in that empty space that even Hardison could see, thousands of miles away.

But it wasn’t them. They were where they were for a reason, and it wasn’t with Andy and them.

And, as he watches the lights twisting and dancing so far below, he could admit, to himself and Parker, that that was okay.

---

“We could try to find them?”

“Who?” And Hardison doesn’t even need to look over to know Parker’s glaring at him. Groaning, he pushes himself away from his computer, meeting her glare head on. “Okay, why?”

“Why not?”

“Because he doesn’t want to be found. And, apparently, neither does Sophie.” After all, it’s been months, and the journal was still their only point of actual contact.

They still had the dreams, of course. Flashes of a tired face and a worn out body, brief glimpses of bright eyes and sharp smiles. But nothing...nothing to hold onto. Nothing to give shape to the names they had.

And, most days, that fact still hurt. But, after the initial fervor had died down, after him and Parker had settled into...into whatever it was they were doing, he could admit that the sting was muted now.

She doesn’t even bother replying out loud.

“All we have are names they likely made up about a century ago.”

A quirk of her eyebrow.

“First names, at that by the way. Not even a fake last name. I can track an alias. I can not track a first name pulled out of nowhere.”

Rolled eyes.

“...Alright, alright, I already looked. Nada. Zip. Zilch.” Hardison admits, throwing up his hands and turning back to the computer.

He wanted to find them as much as Parker did. To at least get...he didn’t even know. Not closure, that’s for damn sure.

But something.

Something he could touch, and turn over, and work with.

But they were impossible.

“You checked into Dubeniwhatever’s offer?” He asks, in some vague hope it’ll throw her off the trail for a little while. The snort he hears tells him he failed miserably, but, thankfully, she seems to take pity on him.

“Looks easy enough. He said he’s bringing in two others - a roper and a hitter, but that’s normal.” Normal, easy, clean.

Hardison could work with that. “Friday, right?”

When he doesn’t get a reply, he glances over. An open window is all that greets him back, and all he can do is smile.

[bngtanah]

I’m (not) With The Band. | o6

summary: Adrienne is an indie producer who is hired to help co-produce BTS’ next album alongside their resident producer; Suga. Despite the initial opposition on both ends, the pair spend time together, share a few stories, dreams and aspirations and begin to hit it off really well. Wrapped up in the whirlwind of late nights and heated disagreements and reconciliations, Min Yoongi and Adrienne Rolle find themselves growing closer and closer. One night they decide to cross the barrier between personal and professional and do their best make a relationship work against all odds.

pairing: idol!Yoongi  x OC

word count: 4.8k genre: drama, romance, smut(eventually)

chapters: prologue| o1| o2| o3| o4| o5| o6| o7| o8| o9| 10| 11|

warning: fluff, workplace relationship, slow burn, sexual attraction, ambw, developing relationship, hand holding, mentions of alcohol, karaoke, jealousy.

a/n: so i’m still not sure if anyone’s actually reading these multichapter fics. I may stop uploading them if there’s no interest but I’m not sure at the moment. hmmmm, anyway here’s the latest!

Yoongi never knew what to do with himself on his days off.

Any amount of free time he ever had was always spent in a studio, practice room or curled up in his bed trying to allow his body to catch up on hours of missed sleep. So in a sense his days off were never really 'his', there was always an interview to be given, a meeting to go to or some song or dance move to tweak that required his attention. Today, however, was different. He and the rest of his band members genuinely had the entire day off to do whatever they wanted within reason and Yoongi was drawing a blank on just how he was going to spend the 10 hours he had to indulge himself. Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook all suggested the seven of them do something together while the older boys seemed content with doing nothing but lounging around their dorm with the option of having dinner together later that day. Yoongi was unusually on the fence about his decision; had this been any other day he would have jumped at the chance to stay in bed all day but if he made the choice to stay at home he wouldn't get the chance to do the one thing he knew he wanted to do today which was see Andy.

He hadn't seen her in person in almost a week since she accompanied them to the commercial shoot and he almost lost control of his senses. They spoke over the phone or through text messages to exchange ideas and demos of new tracks but Yoongi didn't trust himself to be alone with her in his current state. He could still vividly remember the sensation of her touching him, her soft palms pressing against his biceps and gently moving over his skin. The memory took hold of him at the most inopportune times and made him lose focus on whatever he was doing at that moment. More than once he found himself being stirred awake in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat and a hand he didn't remember moving in his sleep wrapped around his shaft. Needless to say, he had it bad for Adrienne and his desire for her was only getting worse by the day.

"What do you think Yoongi?"

Jin asked and Yoongi's eyes went wide. He hadn't been listening to any of their conversation, even though he was sitting in the circle with everyone else. Once again the thought of Andy had taken over his thinking process. The way everyone was looking at him he assumed that he was meant to be the tie breaker in some sort of resolution that probably decided what they were going to do for the day.

"I really wasn't listening" Yoongi finally answered and scratched the back of his neck, "What's the question?"

"Ah, hyung if you're spacing out already maybe you should just go back to bed," Namjoon said with a small chuckle, although he was probably just trying to garner support for his choice of staying home.

"They want to go to Lotte World, for god knows what reason," Jin started.

"They've added new attractions!" Taehyung and Jimin interjected simultaneously.

"Whatever, the rest of us just want to stay here, what are you going to do?"

Yoongi ran his fingers through his fringe and pretended to be deep in thought, he personally had no desire to be surrounded by a bunch of strangers and children today but going to an amusement park seemed like something Andy would love if he knew her as well as he thought he did. He was certain that she hadn't been any farther than a few blocks away from the BigHit building and her apartment since she moved here and that was almost six months ago.

"If you guys are going to the amusement park, why don't you take Andy along with you? She mentioned something about wanting to explore the other day didn't she?" He replied flippantly, just gauge a reaction without making it obvious that he wanted her to come.

"She did say something like that," Jimin nodded "Would she want to go to an amusement park though? I thought she meant something like exploring the city."

"I think she would like it, she seems like the type to enjoy places like that doesn't she?" Namjoon responded hastily before Yoongi had the chance to answer and everyone else nodded in agreement, "Y'know...if you're going to invite her shouldn't we all go?" Namjoon didn't have a convincing reason for why they all should go just because Andy might be coming along but after his suggestion, Hoseok begrudgingly agreed to tag along and Jin complained about not wanting to be left alone in the dorm to clean.

That left only Yoongi, who shrugged and turned his head away from the group to conceal the small hint of a smile that attempted to fight its way onto his lips. Taehyung and Jimin cheered, loudly, and shared a hi-five once it was decided that everyone would be going just like they originally wanted and Yoongi was already standing to his feet and backing away from the group to call Andy before Namjoon had the chance to steal that opportunity from him as well.

"Yeoboseyo?"

This time, Yoongi allowed himself to smile and duck his head down just slightly at the sound of Adrienne's voice which he always found amusing. Her Korean skills were slowly getting better, and she had a marked improvement compared when he first met her,  but due to her accent, the way she pronounced certain words always sounded like she was singing a song. It was cute.

"Andy? Are you busy today?"

"Hello to you too Yoongi-ssi, I'm doing well thanks for asking," She replied dryly, " Uh, no I don't think so...I'm at the studio right now so that's all I planned on doing today.," Andy paused, "Why?"

"Well the kids want to go an amusement park and I'm being dragged along, so I wondered if you might want to come as well...? It would give us a chance to talk about some of the songs, right?" He quickly tacked on at the end to avoid seeming eager.

"An amusement park? That sounds so fun but someone might have to come get me, I got lost trying to find my apartment last night" Adrienne laughed and Yoongi grinned silently.

"I can do that," He offered while moving from the common room of their dorm into his bedroom to get dressed, "And you should be more careful going home in the night, why didn't you call someone?" He meant to sound concerned but his words only came off as chastising which made Adrienne groan softly.

"I found it eventually, leader-nim" She teased and snickered when Yoongi imitated her groan, "I'm a big girl I can take care of myself."

"Well, you should have no problem finding the amusement park by yourself then? I can leave you to it?"

"Hey...don't joke about that I'm really looking forward to going now."

"Don't start whining, I'm coming for you."

Adrienne squealed and hung up, allowing Yoongi to slip his phone into the pocket of his jacket and step back out into the common room. The boys were currently arguing about whether they should eat at the park before the rides or after instead of making preparations to leave, Yoongi informed them that he was leaving to guide Andy to park and glided out the front door before they had the chance to question him.

It only took him about ten minutes to reach the BigHit building but once he was  a few blocks away he could clearly see Adrienne standing on the sidewalk, impatiently bouncing back and forth on the balls of her feet.

"Andy!" Yoongi called out once he was closer, and then immediately remembered that he was out in public and in front of the office building where he worked and at any moment some crazy fan could descend upon him and ruin his day. He adjusted the snapback on his head and kept his head down until he was standing next to Adrienne.

"Are you alone? I thought everyone was coming?" Andy commented as she peered around Yoongi's shoulder and noted the lack of people behind him.

"They are, but it's easier to travel if we aren't all together" Yoongi reassured, "I told them to meet us at the park."

Adrienne nodded and quietly followed after Yoongi as he lead them away from the BigHit building and towards the nearest subway station. The amusement park was about an hour away from where they were by train so they needed to spend less time they spent loitering around if they wanted to make it to the park before it got too crowded.

"So did you lose a bet and have to come pick me?" Adrienne probed offhandedly as they rounded a corner.

"What? No, I offered to come didn't I?"

"Yeah....I just thought that maybe someone put you up to it."

Yoongi scoffed under his breath and glanced to the side, he assumed that she was joking around like usual but the neutral expression on her face seemed to suggest otherwise.

"Why would you think that?" He finally asked.

"No reason...." She lied, "Okay that's not true I sort of thought that you didn't like me? Like we get along fine as coworkers but I feel so close to the other boys and whenever I try to get closer to you it feels like you pull away from me a little bit? I'm probably just being silly."

Yoongi was flabbergasted but didn't allow the shock to show on his features. Her assumption was so far off from what he actually felt towards her it almost made him laugh.

"You are being silly" He retorted with a huff, "Why wouldn't I like you? Do you want me to start showing you aegyo every five minutes like Jimin?"

Adrienne shrugged, "It wouldn't hurt."

She laughed out loud when Yoongi turned to glare in her direction but stopped abruptly when his hand latched onto hers and he pulled her close to his side.

"Stay close to me" Yoongi instructed while they descended the set of stairs that lead to the subway tracks, "When it's crowded like this it's easy to get lost so try not to trail behind."

Adrienne nodded and reaffirmed that she understood what he said by squeezing his palm between her fingers twice, once again testing Yoongi ability to restrain his base desires. He knew he was playing a dangerous game by grabbing her hand in the first place but he genuinely didn't want her to get separated from him while they waited for their train.

Curious eyes followed the pair as they waded through the crowds to get to their platform. Yoongi's first thought was that someone might have recognised him which made him feel self-conscious, then he remembered that he was holding hands with Adrienne. The self-consciousness he had been feeling suddenly turned into annoyance at the thought of so many people staring at them for no real reason.

"Yoongi?"

"Hm?" He grunted, unaware of the scowl currently forming on his lips

"Are you alright? Because you're kind of squeezing my hand real tight."

"Oh.." Yoongi relaxed his grip on Andy's hand but didn't let it go "Sorry."

When their train finally pulled to a stop in front of them Yoongi lead Adrienne forward and gestured for her to stand in front of him since the car was crowded. When she did he put his hand over hers once she held on to the metal bar to steady herself and caged her in with his body. Doing his best to ignore the crackling of sparks that buzzed throughout him when she leaned back. Yoongi was a protective person by nature, he looked out for the people he cared about in small, simple ways. Yet, with Adrienne everything he did seemed so over the top to him. The fact that she thought he didn't like her still shocked him when he thought he was being so transparent.

The train made quite a few stops before Adrienne and Yoongi reached their own, allowing them to take a seat once the crowd thinned out. They made good use of the hour-long commute by sharing a pair of headphones and critiquing a new song that Yoongi had spent the past few days preparing. There was a rumour spreading that one of the songs they submitted last week had no chance of being approved so their workload didn't seem to be getting lighter any time soon.

Before they realised it, their stop came up and they exited the train car with the earbuds still connecting them. The park was only a short walk from the subway station and after a small altercation about Adrienne wanting to pay for her own ticket, they finally entered the amusement park. It was just as busy and crowded with children and families as Yoongi thought it would be.

Adrienne, on the other hand, seemed immensely amused by everything she set her eyes on. All the bright flashing lights and intoxicating loud music would probably be enticing to see for the first time for someone who enjoyed that kind of thing but Yoongi was already looking forward to leaving. The euphoric look on Adrienne's face was the only thing keeping him from complaining.

"So, everyone else isn't here yet," Yoongi said as they weaved in and out of the groups of people pooled near the popular rides. "What do you want to first?"

"I don't know! I have no idea what's here, you pick something."

Adrienne was practically bouncing with excitement and Yoongi wished he could share her enthusiasm. He had only been here once before so he wasn't familiar with the attractions either but one did catch his eye as he glanced around.

"Let's try this one," He gestured to his left and took Adrienne's hand once again. The crowds weren't nearly as thick in the direction they were heading but, Yoongi still felt it necessary to hold her hand. Adrienne didn't mind the action one bit.

"We can use this to see what's worth riding," Yoongi commented as the came to a stop in front of large balloon shaped ride with a basket attached. If Yoongi had been more perceptive in that moment he might have noticed how unusually silent Adrienne had become. She was almost frozen in place while Yoongi handed over the tickets then pulled her forward without even noticing the resistance. Yoongi assumed she was too excited to speak up.

His assumption changed when the balloon began to rise and he heard an almost silent and shrill scream come from beside him. When he looked over Adrienne's eyes were shut closed so tight there were beads of tears pooling in the corners. Her fingernails nearly pressing deep enough into her thighs to break the skin.

"Andy? Are you okay?" He asked softly but she shook her head vehemently, refusing to open her eyes.

"I should have mentioned this before" Andy stuttered in a hoarse whisper "I am t-terrified of heights."

"Shit," Yoongi sighed and looked around, it was too late for them to get off since they were already connected to the ceiling and he doubted the conductor would hear him over the music playing. When he look down at Adrienne again he could see that she was visibly shaking and Yoongi quickly did the only helpful thing he could think to do which was reach over and pull her against his chest.

"You don't have to-" Adrienne protested initially, "If I stay still it's not so bad, I can deal with it."

Yoongi only shook his head and shushed her as he held her body even tighter to him. "I'm sure you can but I'm here, you don't have to suffer alone." His voice was gentle and took on a tone that he hadn't used with Adrienne before, he was generally kind or unintentionally judgmental when they spoke. But the cadence of his voice at that moment was comforting and soothing. He even took it upon himself to stroke the back of her head a few times, the way she seemed to nuzzle into his touch made him stop before he got carried away.

Adrienne exhaled a shaky breath and relaxed in his embrace after a few minutes, leaning her full weight against him. She was still tense and trembling for the duration of the ride. Yoongi could feel her body jolt with fear whenever track made a turn or started to creak as he rested his chin gingerly on the top of her head. He made sure to talk the entire time; his voice soft and low as he pointed out random and incorrect facts about the park and other tourist attractions, hoping that the sound of his voice would distract her enough to put her mind at ease.

He wasn't sure if it was working but by the time they were nearing the end of the track, Adrienne had stopped trembling and Yoongi swore he heard her giggle at one of his terrible jokes. The machine jerked slightly when they began their descent and this time, Adrienne wrapped her arms around Yoongi's waist. Holding on to him tightly before the basket finally touched the ground and she practically jumped out of the contraption.

Yoongi trailed behind and frowned deeply when he watched her grab a nearby fence with both hands to catch her breath. He hated seeing her like this, especially knowing that he was partly to blame for it.

"Are you alright?" He asked from a few feet behind her, not wanting to crowd her space.

"I'm fine now, nothing to worry about" Adrienne answered, turning to face Yoongi with a brave smile. She definitely seemed to have calmed down but somehow Yoongi could tell that she was still shaken.

"I should have asked you before pulling you on that thing,"  Yoongi apologised and cleared some of the space between them by stepping forward and placing a hand on her shoulder.

Adrienne responded by nodding and staking a step forward. Her hand resting over his, curling her fingers around the back of his palm. "It's alright, really. You didn't know and it wasn't as bad as it normally is, thanks for holding me and sorry about the makeup on your shirt."

"Don't worry about it," Yoongi said, his voice still sweet as honey as he moved his hand up to cup her jaw between his palm. His thumb gingerly grazing over the swell of her cheek with care. "I'm just glad you're okay."

Adrienne nodded again and they shared a moment of tacit silence before the unmistakable sound of Taehyung and Jimin both yelling out 'noona'  made them separate and drop their hands.

"We've been looking for you everywhere!" Taehyung exclaimed once they were closer.

"Don't lie, we just got here," Jimin reminded him.

Adrienne giggled at their small squabble as the rest of the group soon joined them and they began moving forward to find one of the new attractions. Yoongi fell behind the group when Adrienne somehow ended up in the centre and Hoseok ended up walking with him since he wanted to be there even less than Yoongi did.

"Hyung.....is that makeup on your shirt?"

"Yeah," Yoongi replied nonchalantly.

"....What happened before we got here?"

"Not today, Hobi."

"Yah! You're cheating, there's no way you could have scored a perfect score on that song!"

"I'm a professional singer, what did you expect?"

Jungkook's smug expression made Adrienne scowl but she didn't have a good excuse to debunk him or enough evidence to prove that he actually was cheating. So she kept her mouth shut and leaned back into her couch as Jungkook ticked one of his eyebrows upwards and handed the microphone to Jimin.

All seven of them were piled into Adrienne's one bedroom apartment and crowded around her small dining table. Originally this was supposed to be a small gathering for Adrienne to get to know them better musically. If she was going to be writing songs for them to sing she wanted to make sure that they, at least, enjoyed what they would be singing. Somehow that reasonable meeting turned into a potluck dinner when she offered to make them a dish from her home country and Jin offered to make a Korean dish she'd never tried before. One thing lead to another and the karaoke machine Adrienne bought on a whim a few weeks ago was dug out of her storage closet and a competition began between the rappers and singers. With Adrienne joining the rappers to make it even.

The initial goal of the evening was long forgotten after they all shared the first two bottles of soju and once Adrienne whipped up a batch of her specialty cocktail to go along with her dish any hopes of actually making music was thrown out the window. She didn't mind, however, she wanted to learn more about their musical preferences and there was no better way to do that than watching everyone sing karaoke. Despite the fact that they were slightly inebriated and gave up singing seriously a long time ago.

"Ah, oppa, I didn't expect you to like this kind of song" Adrienne chuckled at Jin's next song choice, which was the Korean version of a Spice Girls song.

"Wait, you call him oppa but not me? We're both older than you!" Yoongi berated from beside Adrienne.

The slight slur in his words made Adrienne wonder if he was drunk already but he always sounded like that. His eyes were glossy and the apples of his cheeks were a faint red hue but he was still in control of himself.

"Jin-oppa treats me well, you haven't earned that title yet Yoongi-ssi." Adrienne playful replied, making Yoongi scoff and roll his eyes.

"I'm nice to you," Yoongi gasped and leaned closer "I even made a special Korean food for you to try."

"You don't cook," she teased, watching as Yoongi grabbed one of the unopened containers from the end of the table.

"I can cook! Here try this," Yoongi exclaimed and picked up one of the red-orange oblong shaped foods out of the container and held it towards Adrienne. She attempted to take it from between his chopsticks but Yoongi pulled away and shook his head.

"Not with your hands, your mouth."

"I can feed myself, y'know."

Yoongi exhaled and gave Adrienne a pointed look.

"What did you say you wouldn't do today?"

Adrienne pressed her lips together and glanced towards the floor like a child "....Complain."

"And, what are you doing right now?"

"Complaining....." Adrienne answered with a heavy and dramatic sigh.

Yoongi grinned widely, he was enjoying the fact that he was annoying her, even pulling his hand back a few times when Adrienne leaned forward to take a bite. It wasn't until Andy tapped him on the knee that he stopped playing around and scooted closer to her.

"Okay seriously, this time. I won't pull it back." He said as he brought the chopsticks close to Adrienne's mouth, "Open," Yoongi instructed as he gently held her chin between his thumb and index finger to keep her head in place. Almost as if out of habit Adrienne closed her eyes and opened her mouth, allowing Yoongi to slide the rice cake between her parted lips.

"Good girl," he growled in a deep and almost primal whisper, making Andy's eyes pop open. She'd never heard his voice go that deep and the way he looked at her once she finally looked in his eyes made a jolt of arousal run straight through her body.

"Should we leave you two alone?" Hoseok asked, as quietly as he could over Adrienne's shoulder with an innocent grin.

"Shut up," Andy and Yoongi replied, so in sync that it made them both laugh gently.

Over by the television, however, Namjoon wasn't so amused. He had been watching them for most of the night, flirting and stealing glances at one another when they thought no one was paying attention. The way Yoongi always managed to make sure Adrienne sat next to him and how Adrienne always found some excuse to touch Yoongi while they spoke. Namjoon wondered how he hadn't noticed it before but any doubts he had about whether something was going on between them had been disproved that night. He hated that he couldn't feel anything but jealousy when his friend looked happy. 

They were both his friend but Namjoon still couldn't muster up the effort to pretend like he wasn't hurting inside. To save himself from heartache as Adrienne began cackling at a joke that could not have been that funny, Namjoon got up and silently slipped out the door. He hoped that a walk in the fresh air would clear his melancholy thoughts, he hadn't been drinking as much as everyone else did since he had to be responsible. Like always. Even on their days off his role as leader never left him.

"Hyung! Where are you going?" Jimin, who had followed Namjoon out almost immediately after he left, called from behind him.

"Uh, just for a walk. It's getting a little loud in there."

"Ah I see, do mind if I join you?"

Namjoon did mind but he shook his head anyway and started walking forward with Jimin next to him. They walked in silence for a while, the sounds of the city being their only ambiance until Jimin looked over at Namjoon and sighed.

"You know there's nothing you can do right?"

Namjoon paused and tilted his head to the side "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Andy-noona and Yoongi-hyung," Jimin replied in a matter of fact tone, "That's why you came outside isn't it? You like her."

Namjoon thought about lying but there was no point in lying to Jimin, he was always so good at reading people. "I don't want to feel like this but I just can't stop myself."

"That makes sense" Jimin nodded, "But I don't think they're dating, I could be wrong but we would be able to tell if they were actually dating."

Jimin was hoping to be reassuring but Namjoon didn't reply.

"I can't tell you that what you feel will quickly pass but eventually, it won't hurt anymore. Try channeling all that energy into just being her friend. There isn't anything you can do about what she feels." Jimin capped his words with a gentle hand on Namjoon's shoulders.

"Thank you, Jimin" Namjoon answered, accompanying his gratitude with a playful ruffle of Jimin's orange tresses.

They circled the block one more time before heading back to Adrienne's apartment where everyone save for Hoseok, Yoongi and Adrienne were passed out.

"I think it might be bedtime," Adrienne said to the pair once they were back inside.

It only took a few minutes to wake everyone up and herd them out the front door, even with Jin offering to stay and help clean and Taehyung offering to spend the night so he wouldn't have to get up. Before long they were all walking down the alleyway that lead away from Andy's apartment and headed home, except Yoongi who was still lingering around the front door.

"Did you forget something?" Adrienne asked when she noticed her front door was still open.

"No, I... wanted to ask you something."He looked uncomfortable, like he already regretted what he was bout to say.

"Okay."

"Why won't you call me oppa?"

Adrienne guffawed, thinking he was joking but she stopped once she noticed that he was seriously expecting an answer.

"I....dont know? At first, I didn't because I liked annoying you but now I guess I'm just used to saying Yoongi-ssi," Adrienne explained as she folded her arms and leaned against the door frame, "If it bothers you I'll try being more respectful-"

"It's okay, I just wondered if there was a different reason." Yoongi waved her off.

"Are you sure? I don't want to offend you."

"You're not...I like the way you say my name." Yoongi smiled and patted the top of Adrienne's head before running down the alleyway to catch up with the rest of the group who were not waiting for him.

Adrienne beamed, unsure why having him pet her like a puppy made her heart flutter so much as she closed the door behind her. She assumed she was overflowing with happiness with the thought that he might be feeling the same pull that she was. That contentment filled her with joy until she turned and laid eyes on the platters and plates of leftover food that all required her attention.

"Nope, I'm going bed."

[purplesurveys]

1001

survey by voicedance16

Name A...

Name yourself:  I said this like, seven surveys ago. To make things different, I share my name with a bird and Rihanna’s first name. 

Name (one of) your best friend(s): Angela. Sister for life.

Name 3 things in your fridge/freezer: We have a loaf of white bread, a near-empty bottle of Japanese mayonnaise, and a tub of liver.

Name a color you're wearing currently: Pink and orange. I ended up going to the virtual Halloween party at work - went as Dora - and it was a blast. I’m SO glad impersonating our characters didn’t turn out to be mandatory; I just sat there and was happy to be there, lmao. 

Name the last thing you ate: A ham sandwich.

Name the last store you went to: Does the vet count? They sell pet food over there, so it’s kind of like a store I guess. I went last weekend because Cooper needed a heartworm test and a couple of shots.

Name the song you're listening to: Nada.

Name the artist of that song: See above.

Name your favorite animal: Dogs! Elephants are a close second.

Name what pets you have, if any: I have two dogs, an aspin and a beagle.

Name the town/state you live in: I won’t give away the city, but I will say Metro Manila is a literal stone’s throw away. I live right at the border.

Name something commonly ordered at Starbucks: Like...in general? I’m not aware of the most common food/drink ordered by other people but if I had to pick a guess, I know frappes are popular among my age group and the age group before us and that java chip is a popular flavor. But if you’re just referring to my usual, I like getting an iced caramel macchiato.

Name the last person you talked to in person: My dad. They gave us a box of Halloween donuts AND cake pops at work today :’) so I just asked my dad if he wanted a donut.

Name the last person you talked to on the phone: Mom. But my last call in general was a Zoom call with the entire company just a few minutes ago for the Halloween party.

Name the current day of the week: Today issss Wednesday.

Name the current month: October.

Name the current time: 6:55 PM.

Name the last movie you watched: I’m Thinking of Ending Things, blech. Need a happier movie to mention.

Name the last book you read: I’ve mentioned it too many times on a lot of recent surveys.

Name a place you've been on vacation: Bali.

Name a place you'd like to go on vacation: I desperately need to go back to Sagada, or at least Tagaytay. I think visitors are already allowed to go to the latter so I’m really eyeing a solo, soul-searching trip soon. As for places I’ve never been to before but would make for interesting vacations, I’d go with Chicago and Marrakesh.

Name 3 things you can see from where you're sitting: I can see an empty mug that used to contain coffee, a box of cake pops, and a purple pen.

Name your favorite musical: Miss Saigon.

Name an animal (any): The first animal that came to mind was dragonfly.

Name a fruit: Avocado, the only bitch in the house that I ever respected.

Name a vegetable: Broccoli, my favorite.

Name a common breakfast food: Where I live, beef tapa.

Name a color: Dandelion.

Name a type of flower: ...Dandelion!

Name a type of tree: Pine. Not that we have any here lol, but it’s the first kind I thought of.

Name a city: Uhh, idk. Let’s go with Seattle.

Name a state: I first thought of Wisconsin because I have a lot of family living there.

Name a country: Let’s go outside of the States and go with Sweden.

Name a continent: Asia.

Name a planet: Mars.

Name a girl's name: Clara. Such a pretty-sounding name.

Name the last person to comment you on Facebook: I haven’t had Facebook in weeks and I genuinely can’t remember from whom I received my last comment before I deactivated.

Name a clothing store/brand: Mango.

Name the last book you got at the library: It’s called History of the Filipino People, written by one of my great-uncles.

Name a restaurant: Max’s, even though their food sucks.

Name a grocery store: SM.

Name an iPhone app: Like, an Apple-exclusive app? I think Keynote is one of them.

Name an actor: Eddie Redmayne! One of my favorites.

Name an actress: Kate Winslet, my biggest crush through and through.

Name a music group: Destiny’s Child.

Name your favorite/lucky number: I don’t have a lucky number, but 4 is my favorite. I don’t have a solid reason for it to be my favorite; it just is.

Name something you've accomplished:  Graduating college from my dream school in my (then-)dream degree/course.

Name something you'd like to accomplish: Travel, and travel a lot.

Name someone who makes you laugh: Andi made me smile and chuckle a bit today, so let’s name them.

Name something exciting coming up soon: Nothing too specific, really. But I’m supposed to be receiving my internship cut any day now and it’s gonna be my first salary ever, so that’s pretty exciting :)

Name a song that makes you emotional: 26 by Paramore.

Name one of your pet peeves: People who call without texting or notifying beforehand. Holy fucking shit. A hiring manager did this exact thing to me yesterday and I rejected her call because she did not text first. I honestly have no regrets, and I wouldn’t have been bitter if she stopped pursuing me then. 

Name someone you know who is an amazing singer: Hannah, without a doubt.

Name someone who is the same religion as you: JM.

Name a holiday you celebrate: Christmas. I can hardly believe another one is coming up soon.

Name the last 4 digits of your phone number: Uh, no thanks.

Name one of your cousins: Sam.

Name a book you loved when you were younger: I used to really love the Septimus Heap series by Angie Sage and I reread the first book, Magyk, more times than I could ever count.

Name a song you loved when you were younger: Big Girls Don’t Cry - Fergie.

Name your favorite movie: Two for the Road.

Name a popular book series: The Hunger Games, even though I never actually read it.

Name a musical instrument: A song played on a solo saxophone...

Name a language: German.

Name what other tabs you have open: On this window, just Bzoink. I just closed a YouTube tab.

Name 3 things on the walls of the room you're in: Audrey Hepburn wall decors, a painting that I’m trying to cover up with post-its to turn it into something positive, and uhhh my aircon is mounted to the wall if that counts lol

Name your house number: I’m not sharing that.

Name your high school: It’s an all-girls Catholic school in my city. I’ve shared the name before but I don’t feel like doing so tonight.

Name your college, if applicable: My college was in mass communication, but I went to university in UP.

Name your middle school: See high school.

name your elementary school Again, see high school.

Name the college you wish you went to/hope to go to: UP.

Name your favorite teacher: My music teacher throughout high school. I don’t like her subject, but I love her.

Name the color of your backpack: I haven’t had to use a backpack in a while but my main one is pink.

Name a dessert: Creme brulee. I don’t memorize which letters have those accent marks and I don’t feel like looking that up right now.

Name a famous landmark: Because I can clearly read the next question, the Statue of Liberty.

Name a place you might go in NYC: I’d go straight to my uncle’s so that he can show me the good spots. He has a lot of cool friends who run their own bars/restaurants in the city so if anyone knows how to have a good time in NYC without having to go to all the big tourist places, it’s him. GOD I can’t wait to go to New York.

Name an inventor: Hedy Lamarr.

Name an article of clothing: Scarves.

Name an ice cream flavor: Mint chocolate chip, yum.

Name a religion: Buddhism.

Name an emotion: Resentment. 

Name a room in your house: My bedroom, because that’s where I’m staying in at the moment.

Name a website: Wikipedia.

Name a car: This is pretty vague. A kind of car? Hatchback. Are you looking for a make? Toyota. Or maybe a specific model? Honda Civic. I gotchu.

Name something you need to do today: SLEEP. I should not be awake at 11 PM.

Name someone you admire: Andi.

Name someone you miss: At the moment, nobody.

Name a part of the body: Elbow.

Name the last youtube video you watched: I bawled my eyes out to a video playing the audio to Ben&Ben’s Kathang Isip because that song makes so much goddamn sense and is relatable now. Can’t I just go back to a simpler time when that song was just fun to listen to and wasn’t actually relevant to my life? I hate music sometimes.

Name a quote you love: I don’t have one.