#i reread my in progress fics all the time because i like them so much and STILL take zero action

[im-still-watching-anime]

reading my drafts like damn this is so good i should really finish it and post it as i am actively closing the window

[mazzystar24]

I totally get I just finished my exam week (I had to do a math test at 8am Sat😭). Wish you luck tho!

Also do you have any good buddies fics? Destiel too?

Math test at 8am is BRUTAL

Thank you I will definitely need it😭😭

Unfortunately I only have buddie fics to offer😔:

(Warning I do like a fair amount of angst)

Right where you left me - by hyacinthusbloom ( @thebloomingheather on here) - when I say I might be as big a fan of this fic as I am of the show I MEAN IT, you do not even understand how much I love this fic or how obsessed I am with it, I have reread it so many times despite it still being in progress that I think I may genuinely qualify it as addictive, me and @estheticpotaeto legit wait for updates like a dog at the author’s door istg, like everything about this fic is flawless and written with so much love and emotion and the way the writer captures the effects of trauma is just amazing because it’s so rare to find this level of diving into ptsd and the more uncomfortable aspects of it that are more taboo or less understandable to people, like I can yap for an hour about this fic but I’ll just say READ IT

Any fic by daisies_and_briars ( @cal-daisies-and-briars on here) but one of my favourites of his is Both blade and branch and muscle memory and four can keep a secret and appetency and the two she’s writing right now (change the prophecy and steal my sunshine) -wow at that point I should’ve left it as any fic because that’s a lot of favourites😭😭

Any fic by @loserdiaz plus with them you get enough lighthearted fics to even out the angst

Ooo I’m not sure what their username on here is but lizzybizzyzz is also another writer who I just love their fics

Fractals by hobbitprincess - one of those fics that make you squeak at how much love these fictional characters have for each other

Beneath my mother tongue by archerincombat - the angst the writing the way they hit every single emotional beat? Amazing

Anything by this_is_moony_lovegood

Leave the light on (I’ll be coming home) by HMSLusitania - the presumed dead Eddie fic of your dreams, a constant reread for me it’s just 👌

Anchored by adorkable_buddie - sorry Chris you gotta be injured sometimes just for us to get our buddie dreams hope you understand and we appreciate your sacrifice 😔🫶

empty, broken, lonely, hoping by daniweb - when I tell you I love the presumed dead trope you best believe I’m telling the truth because the ANGST?? Yes please, LISTEN it’s the closest you can get to the emotional beats of killing off a character without ever killing them off because you love them and happy endings too much so TIM MINEAR TAKE NOTES I KNOW YOU SAID YOU LOVE THEM TOO MUCH TO KILL THEM, anyways back to to the point this fic again is just flawless execution by the writer like absolutely love it

every time we stop talking (the universe starts screaming) by withmeornotatall - emotional destruction and I absolutely love it, divorce era 2.0 and it HITS

Home is where it hurts- by rileyblue2001 - can you tell I hate the Buckley parents because I HATE the Buckley parents

The one with the return of the sex addiction by buddiefication (pumpkincreamcoldbrew) - I’ve reccomended so much angst so have a funny little light hearted buddie fic with the father bobby vibes we all love❤️❤️

Okay back to the angst tho 😭😭- out of ashes by Ashavahishta - AHHHHHHH THIS FIC JUST AHHHHH STOP THE WAY I WOULD DIE FOR A FOLLOW UP FIC TO THIS AHHHH I LOVE IT SM AND ITS LEGIT A ONE SHOT I CRIED SO HARD

Falling Slowly; Sing Your Melody (I’ll Sing It Loud) by Princessfbi ( @princessfbi on here who I also love sm of their fics so highly suggest just going on their page and looking through all the fics) - absolutely love it, legit gave me brain rot and got me obsessed for a GOOD while

I'm comin' back, don't let me go by wikiangela ( @wikiangela on here also love love their fics again so check them out but this one is probably my favourite of theirs)

Okay this is looking more and more like a uni reading list so I’m gonna shut up now but I hope you enjoy these fics and that a few of them emotionally damage you like they did me because I love to spread the joy (see: pain and suffering) 🫶🫶

[insomnya777]

Hello! First I want to say I adore your boat boys super power AU so much, it’s currently rotating at light speed in my brain like a broken microwave. I think I’ve read at least six times all the way through with what you have, it’s fantastic!

I was also wondering if you had any other recs or personal favorites for boat boys fics, or just fics in general, I’m always looking for recommendations and wonderful authors usually also have great tastes in other fics as well! Thank you for what you do for the boat boy and smalletho community, you’re keeping us well fed lol

Oh my god I have many many recommendations!!!! I've actually been waiting for someone to ask me this LOL

Completed:

Settled is one of my favourites of all-time. If you read it you'll see the long ass comment I left on it lol. Description: A five plus one type of fic where Etho struggles to voice his feeling about double-life, and Joel is there to make it harder.

BIR Universe is a classic, a staple, even. One of the most iconic series of all time. Description: A very messy college universe with a bunch of hermitcraft/life series members.

Somehow, I always end up back in Marianas Trench is another personal favourite. I reread it way too often. The writing is incredible in this one + has a side of ranchers and impdubs. Description: AU where our three favourite soulbound couples go on a triple date! Except it's not a date, all of them broke up sometime before or during their last year of college and none of them are over each other.

Holy Father, judge my sins is so, so good. Anything by giddyfenix always is, I think I've read, like, all of their works. Description: Joel and Etho as the seven deadly sins. After all, what were they if not corrupted?

I Don't Smoke (Except for When I'm Missing You) made my heart break a million times over. I actually cannot read this fic without breaking down. It is a clockers-centered fic, exploring the Etho-Scar relationship, but I had to include it because it's just one of my favourite fics of all time. Description: A look into Etho's perspective on the life he and Scar share. They're not so different, you know? They both like to run away.

Works In Progress:

to all the ships at sea is another personal favourite, because the writing is just so, so good. There are currently six chapters out! Description: Etho has a job as part of the crew manning a lighthouse on a small island. With Cleo and Bdubs gone for a few weeks, Etho settles in to keep the Light running single-handedly. He wasn't expecting his life to be turned upside-down when a visitor turns up on the island, completely out of the blue...and he definitely wasn't expecting to develop feelings for the mysterious young man.

Good Luck, Babe is also very, very good. There are seven chapters out right now! Description: Etho couldn't get himself to turn Joel down. Even when Joel has made it clear time and time again that he had no problem doing the same to him. The lengths he was willing to go for a guy who would barely even let them be seen together in public...

hi, etho is super cute, too. I read it a while ago, and it's still one of my favourites, so do what you will with that. Description: About a month after going missing and having no memories to show for it, Etho gets a weird letter from a strange, anonymous sender who might have the answers to his questions.

And that's about it!! If anyone has more recommendations feel free to comment or leave in the tags because I'm always looking for more fics LOL <3

[raccoonfallsharder]

a scene from entanglement by @hibatasblog

let me love your OCs masterlist | doodle queue rocket art | my OCs | main masterlist

coloring page below. you know, if you like to color or whatever ♡

petra quill & rocket raccoon in some top-secret, hidden, unfrequented corner of the eclector. you just know they've found this place and made it their own.

entanglement is one of my favorite comfort fics of all time and you should read it if you haven’t already. it’s perfection. i just wanted to draw petra & rocket in a moment of peace on the eclector, tucked away in a hidden corner. rocket’s studying for his exams, and of course he’s already made a second set of headphones spliced into petra’s. petra’s wearing the t-shirt and red flannel she’d had on when she was scooped, though they’re a little small on her now.

this was honestly so much fun to draw. so relaxing & peaceful to color that i practically felt like i was inside the picture. this is my first full-background in digital medium and i gotta say, i’m so happy with the way it turned out. i think i nailed the glow, even on the pipes and vents, which made it hard to pick a favorite (with or without extra stardust??).

@hibatasblog thank you for creating such a beautiful, lovely story, and sharing it with our fandom. i hope i did your babies justice, and i hope this drawing gives you the same feeling i get when i read (and reread… and reread) entanglement.

a few close-ups of the ship lights (below) because i love them so much. they’re so shiny. also some in-progress screenshots and linework ♡ feel free to color if you want ♡♡ (just tag me please // let me know!)

[cellythefloshie]

;; Mama Bear Dedicated to myself. Because this has been my passion project.

Summary: With her son Parker set to skate in his first NHL game with the Boston Bruins, Katherine Stacy travels to Boston. When her plans are derailed by her ex-husband, Katherine is forced to spend a night on the town alone where she meets Jeremy who is more than willing to show her a good time. Kinks & Tropes: Age Gap (22 v. 40). Divorcee. Alcohol Consumption. One Night Stand. Oral Sex - Fem Receiving. Mirror Reflection. Protected Sex. - If I missed something, yell at me. ABOUT THE OC’s: Katherine: AKA Katie. Face Claim: Bryce Dallas Howard. 40's. Mother of Parker Waylon-Stacy. Parker: Face Claim: N/A. Boston Bruin's Rookie. Dorthey: AKA Dottie. Face Claim: Kate Hudson. Best friend of Katherine. Word Count: 12k+

A/N: Would you believe me if I said that this fic was 4 months in the making? @hagelpoint-3821 and @hockeyboysimagines -- I do not know how you have put up with me teasing this fic for so long. This fic is one that ignited a fire of excitement in me, and to be able to share that excitement with the two of you is something I will always appreciate. You both know that this fic could have easily become a full length novel - and I did have to cut back on this things to assure I could get this out before the new year. I won't have to but you guys with persistent updates about the progress anymore! Thank you so much for your ongoing support and encouragement. With that said, this fic is not going to appeal to everyone. It is unlike anything I have written before, and is unlike anything I have seen in this community before. So please consider liking and relogging if you enjoy, and if doesn't end up being your cup of tea - thank you for giving it a shot. And please note that I did not do a full edit of this fic. I will be editing any mistakes I see upon rereads. I hope you all enjoy reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it.

As a woman traveling alone, there was one thing Katherine Stacy made sure to do: she created a detailed itinerary. Everything from her flights to hotel check-in times and the sights she was planning to see in the great city of Boston were listed in detail on two neatly organized pages. And she made sure to print 3 copies. One for herself, that she carried in her black Kate Spade purse. One for her ex-husband, Ronnie, who was meant to join her on her trip. And the last, for her best friend, Dottie, who remained back home in Toronto - but was the one person she knew she could count on if something did not go according to plan. 

Which was why, as Katie called her from her dimly lit hotel room in the middle of the day - when she was supposed to be touring the Museum of Fine Arts - Dottie answered with such urgency you would have thought her home was on fire. Her mass of blonde curls was the first thing you could see when she answered the video call. They fell into her face that was too close to the screen, her words rushed so close together they slurred into one. “What’sgoingon?Whyisitsodark?Thisisnottheartmuseum.”

Katie propped her phone up against her suitcase, the camera obstructed by the bag’s handle as she rushed to get one of the lights, a string of apologies leaving her lips. When she returned to the end of her bed, she fixed the camera just right before her hands dipped into her bag and she continued to unpack her belongings and store them away in the hotel room’s dresser. It was only then, with her hands busy and a heavy breath rocking her shoulders, that Katie told Dottie why she was calling. 

“He brought her.”

That was all Dottie needed to hear for her eyes to be sent wide in disbelief, “He. Did. Not.” Dottie was always nothing short of eccentric and supportive, but that support only had grown stronger since Katie’s divorce. And since Ronnie started dating again. 

Not even a year into their separation before their divorce was finalized, he had started dating Monica. A beautiful, blonde, twenty-something, esthetician from Etoboike who had weaseled her way into the Waylon family before Katie could even realize what was happening. Which included joining Ronnie on their trip to Boston. Which was supposed to be just the two of them. One where they were coming together as parents to celebrate the success of their son, Parker Waylon-Stacy, who was set to play his first game in the NHL the next evening.  

Worst of all, he hadn’t told her she was coming. Monica had been a nasty surprise when she met him at The Westland for lunch. Katie knew the young woman could see the shock all over her face when she spotted her, and while her attendance was an unpleasant surprise, she had tried to be civil. Yet, Katie could only tolerate so much. 

So she canceled their dinner reservations at the Citizen Public House & Oyster Bar and did not make her planned trip to the art museum. Instead, she had taken a taxi back to the Courtyard by Marriott where she was staying for her short visit in Boston. What she was going to do now, she didn’t know, but Katie knew she needed to call Dottie.

“I knew you should have just come with me Dot-”

Dottie cut in, her words strained by her frustration. “I would have ripped his testicles off with my bare hands-”

“Dot!”

“What?” Dottie was taken back, her brows furrowed. 

“He’s allowed to be dating, we aren’t married.” She and Ronnie hadn’t been together since their son had turned sixteen. That was almost two years ago now, and Katie didn’t miss a single minute of being married to him. She never would. 

“But this trip was supposed to be a family trip,” Dottie reminded, her hand coming up to run over her face with a sigh, “for Parker.”

“Well,” Katie chewed at the inside of her cheek, her hand coming up to push her long red hair back out of her face, “he’s marrying her.”

All Katie could hear was a long, low growl of a no, the video call going dark as Dottie either dropped the phone face down onto a surface or accidentally turned her camera off at the shock of the news. When the sight of her returned, her hand was over her mouth, and her eyes were wide. 

“You should have seen her ring,” Katie told her, her hands wringing the fabric of one of her blouses in her hands like a wet rag, “it was, wow.”

The band was gold, and the diamond was big. Bigger than what she had on her engagement ring and wedding band combined. It was so big it was almost gaudy and hard to miss. It was eye-catching with every single one of Monica’s movements, and all Katie could think of at the sight of it was: Does Parker know? 

It was a question that haunted her as she put down her blouse, pulled her pajamas from the bottom of her bag, and began to undress with little care that Dottie was still on the other end of the call. They had been friends since middle school. There was little Dottie hadn’t seen or didn’t know. 

“Whoa, whoa,” Dottie spoke, the shock fading at the sight of Katie stripping out of her jeans, “what are you doing?”

Katie stepped out of her jeans, leaving them in a heap on the floor as she held her satin bottoms in her hand, “Turning in?”

“NO, you aren’t going to let that selfish prick ruin this trip for you,” Dottie spoke in a firm tone, her finger pointing right into the lens of her camera. 

“What am I supposed to do, Dottie?” Katie sighed, throwing up her hands in defeat and accidentally throwing her pajamas across the room, “I’m just going to order room service and watch some paper view-”

“No, no. You’re going to go out and enjoy yourself.”

A sigh rocked through Katie’s entire body, her hand falling into her hands as she fought back a frustrated sob. She’s a divorced mother in a city she doesn’t know. Her son was off with his teammates doing god knows what on a team-building outing. Her ex-husband was off celebrating his engagement. And she was alone. 

Hot tears pricked at green eyes in the shadow of her hands, but Katie didn’t let them fall. Deep, heavy breaths from years of hiding her frustrations with her husband kept them at bay, but Dottie noticed. She always noticed. 

Which was why her voice had softened when she spoke again, “Show me what’s in your suitcase?”

“My suitcase?” Katie croaked out, her hands coming down to rest against the pale freckles skin of her thighs. 

“Yes, your suitcase.”

Stepping forward, Katie took her phone in her hold and flipped her camera around for Dottie to see. The suitcase was mostly empty now, save for the jacket she had packed at the bottom. The rest of her clothes she had tucked away in the dresser drawers. She had packed just enough clothes to last the three-day trip. Her main outfit was a pair of jeans, boots, and a t-shirt she planned to wear under a jersey to the hockey game the following night. Everything else was meant to be worn during sightseeing, or on the flight home. And every bit of it was practical. 

“No, no, love. Why do you do this to yourself?” Dottie sighed, her shoulder slouching forward. Dottie, herself, was a bit of a fashionista. She always wore the latest trends and was always seen in the brightest colors. Because, well, Dottie liked to be seen. “Where is the sext shit we bought last time we went out?”

“Back home?” Katie spoke in more of a question, her brow raising as if where it was wasn’t already obvious. “I wasn’t coming out here intending to seduce my ex-husband, Dot.”

“You’re in Boston, Katie! A city full of eligible bachelors you can forget about the moment you fly home.”

“Dot-”

“When was the last time you got laid, Katie?”

Her stomach sunk, her mouth going dry at the question. Dottie already knew the answer to that question, but she was trying to use it to motivate her now, even if Katie hated it when she did that. 

“You would have heard about it if it happened.”

“You’ve been divorced for over a year, Katie - separated for two. It’s time to ditch the vibrator.”

Katie let out a long, frustrated huff, fighting the urge to toss her phone onto the pillow. She knew exactly where this was going. “I’m not using that stupid dating app-” 

Tinder. Bumble. Plenty of Fish. Hinge. If it was a dating app, she was on it, and failing miserably at it. Dottie’s daughter, Megan, had set her up with the accounts. Helped her pick every flattering picture and even wrote her biography to cater to the current dating scene. And it had only led her to two types of people, men just like her husband who were divorced and looking for their next way to mother them, or were young men - too young for her to comfortably consider - with mommy issues. And both had gifted her far too many unsolicited pictures of their cocks. 

Just the thought of opening the app made her want to gag. 

“Then don’t,” Dottie spoke, her tone assuring and not forceful. “Just do this one thing for yourself. Go buy a nice dress and a pair of underwear that haven’t seen postpartum. Something sexy. Something to make you feel confident, and go out to dinner. Take yourself out. Hell, even if it’s just the hotel bar. Get a drink and try to have a little fun. For me.”

Dottie dipped her chin down and pouted her lips. Growing up, it was always how Dottie had gotten her way, and sometimes it still worked. Just like it had then. 

“Fine.”

“Good, now, I gotta go,” she spoke, and her screen was suddenly a rush of color as she was on the move, “The twins have a game tonight.”

Dottie was a mother of three. Megan, 18, the same as Parker, was off at university, but the twins were only 12. And had a very extensive hockey schedule to maintain, which kept Dottie’s schedule busy and her hands full. 

“Alright, alright, I won’t keep you,” Katie waved her hand at the phone casually, “Tell Brandon and Brayden Auntie Katie is cheering for them-”

“Don’t think this gets you off the hook,” Dottie added quickly, “I want a selfie of you looking sexy at the bar. Love you. Kisses!” 

Shopping alone was something Katie loathed. Nothing ever fit her proportions right, especially after the rollercoaster that was going from a size 2 to pregnant to struggling with her weight postpartum, to a grueling weight loss journey that brought her to a weight that she could be both healthy and happy with. But Katie wasn’t skin and bones. She was soft and curvy with an ass that was maybe a little bigger than she would like, and breasts that didn’t match the fashion industries’ standards of what her body was supposed to look like. It was that fact that left her rotating out of each boutique's change room, trying on one dress and then the next before she found one dress that fit her body just enough for her to confidently make the purchase. 

It was a little black dress that stopped just below the knee. It was sleeveless, and the deep vee neckline showed off her cleavage with a little help from some strategically placed fashion tape. The dress hugged her curves without restricting her stride and left her feeling sexy as she stood in front of the bathroom mirror and took her time to do her hair and makeup for her night on the town. 

Aka. Her night at the hotel bar. 

It was only a short walk from the elevator to the bar's entrance. The dark bar filled with the warm amber glow of the lights that hung above each table, and along the high traffic points of the bar. Normally, she wouldn’t consider going to a place like this. Katie liked to be able to see what she was eating and drinking. But tonight she was desperate. Desperate and alone with no thought in her mind that the latter would change. Besides, she just needed to be there long enough to take a few pictures and leave without an empty stomach. With those two facts in mind, Katie walked into the bar with the confidence only a mother could have and seated herself down the bar.

It’s the most lit area of the establishment, her seat was right beside one of the beautiful bronze light fixtures. It set her face aglow, her bright red lipstick and dark mascara framed eyes illuminated so fully she feared she might look like a clown, but she tried not to focus on the insecurities of dining out alone. Instead, Katie pulled out her phone and texted a quick picture of herself to Dottie. She looked a little more anxious than sexy, but it proved she was out. Then, she took a picture of the light fixture before placing her phone screen down on the bar top and welcomed a menu as it was placed in front of her.

The barkeep was nice, and if she was younger she might have mistaken his kindness for flirtation. But Katie knew better. It was his job to be friendly. Good service meant better tips, and she would be lying if she said she didn’t need the confidence boost. It, at the very least, left her smiling as she looked over her menu and ordered a drink to start: a Negroni Sbagliato. 

It would be the first of two during her meal. The first left her more comfortable being out in Boston alone. The second gave her the confidence to lift her phone from the bartop. Her fingers hovered over the darkened screen before she awakened its brightness with the single click of the home button. Her eyes had to squint at the harshness of its light, her eyes having adjusted to the bar’s moody atmosphere before she could be greeted with the series of notifications from Dottie. 

She was at her son’s hockey game, but she had taken the time to respond to the photo with a series of flame emojis. Quick, but effective support that had Katie’s finger leaning towards the Tinder app that she had tucked on her last page of applications. 

The screen came to life with an even harsher light, leaving Katie to flinch in her seat as she tried to hide her screen beneath her arm. At her age, there was nothing more embarrassing, in her mind, than being on a dating app. She looked down at the first profile carefully as she brought her phone down to her lap, her thumb swiping left on the first eligible bachelor who didn’t look all that eligible when she was sure the woman in the picture was his wife, and not his sister or a friend. Then the second, third, and fourth men in her radius were all at the bottom of her age range and looked all too young. 

In her position, Katie knew she shouldn’t be so picky. She was in Boston for only a few days. Alone for one night. If anyone wanted to meet her for a drink, or at the very least provided a pleasant series of text messages before ghosting her when she found out she was a mother, she would be able to label the night as a success. 

With each passing profile, Katie fell further into defeat and accepted that she would be enjoying her night alone. And she accepted that as she sipped at what was her second drink, only for it to gently choke at her throat at a soft, unfamiliar voice spoken at her side. 

“I’d swipe right on you.”  

The words sent a blossom of heat through Katie from her heart to her cheeks and the tips of her toes. Unsolicited, they should have flooded her with dread. But they were flirtatious and left her giddy before she could even offer the man more than a glance. It had been a long time since someone hit on her at a bar, and it left her sitting taller in her seat. Confident. 

That was until she looked right, and to the man who had greeted her with his flirtatious words. Her stomach was left unsettled. He wasn’t ugly. Far from it with his tall, lean stature, chestnut brown hair, and eyes a warm brown hue that could so easily tempt her into comfort if she let them. But he was young. Younger than anything in her age range on any of the dating apps on her phone. He looked older than her son, but she may have mistaken them for the same age if it wasn’t for the beginnings of a beard along the angles of his jawline. 

As quickly as her stomach fluttered with butterflies, she was flooded with disappointment. She wouldn’t even entertain a man as young as he was. But Katie was too polite. 

“That’s very flattering,” there was a hint of a smile in her voice as she looked down at the bartop to hide the blush that still threatened to creep up on her cheeks. “But I’m pretty sure I’m old enough to be your mother.”

The statement seemed to amuse him, his smile growing as he stepped up to sit on the barstool next to her. He, whoever he was, was getting too comfortable. It left Katie shifting in her seat, suddenly all too aware of how her heels hooked on her stool and how her thighs pressed together uncomfortably as her ass was cradled by her seat. 

“I don’t believe it,” he wore a boyish grin as he turned his body just enough to give her all of his attention, “You here, looking like that…”

Katie could feel his eyes drag up and down the length of his body, admiring her figure and how it looked in her little black dress. 

“Being anyone’s mother would be a shock to me,” he finished his train of thought, his words still on the verge of flirtation. 

Katie wanted to accept it. To feel flattered by his interest however great or mild it may be. But there was an anxiety that bubbled deep in her stomach. One that left her paranoid that this could be a joke. Shifting in her seat, Katie did a glance around the bar. Looking from table to table she looked for anyone that the man beside her could be associated with. But the bar was quiet. There was a table with what looked like a bridal party that would be pregaming before hitting the town. Then, there was a table of old-timers who may have been regulars or retirees visiting the city. Neither were crowds he would be a part of. That was unless he was homosexual. But, if he were, he wouldn’t be seated beside her at the bar, hitting on her. 

“You’re too kind,” she spoke slowly, trying to be polite. 

“What can I say, my mama raised me right,” he smiled a boyish grin, “which is why I’d like to buy you a drink.”

Katie’s heart fluttered in her chest at the offer, her head cocking to the side as she spoke; “You don’t have to.”

“I insist.”

Katie had to give him one thing, he was confident. She could see it in how his dark eyes didn’t tear away from her, and how his shoulders remained strong instead of slouching with each of her flattered but deflective responses. He could have taken her brief remarks as being disinterested - which in a way she was disinterested if only because of his apparent age - yet, he persisted.  

Reaching up with his hand, the mystery Bostonian flagged down the bartender and met him with a smile. He ordered himself a drink, before nodding towards Katie and requesting another for her as well. Then, he offered him his credit card. Katie’s eyes lingered on the piece of plastic as it was passed from one man to the other. It was just a typical credit card. Nothing fancy that would indicate that he was a man with exceptionally deep pockets, and her stomach filled with dread as she realized that she had probably let some poor college student pay for her drink. 

It left her mouth tasting sour as her third drink of the evening was placed in front of her. So sour, that she almost rejected it. But it was already paid for, so she accepted it and decided that if he ordered a second for himself, she would pay for it. 

“Thanks,” she spoke across the short distance between them, her body turning to be a little more open to a conversation. 

Talking to him was the least that she could do. 

“What brings you to Boston…” he started, his words trailing off. He wasn’t done with his question, yet, he was asking her for something already. 

Blankly, Katie stared at him, unsure of what exactly he was fishing for until it hit her. He wanted to know her name. She could feel her face go red with the realization, and redder when she hesitated when she almost said her full name, Katherine. 

Katherine felt old. Stale. Everything she was trying to avoid being, so she gave him her nickname instead, “Katie.”

“What brings you to Boston, Katie?”

“Visiting family,” she kept her answer brief without the messy details. And without the mention of having a son that she was sure was only a few years younger than him. “What about you…”

“Jeremy,” he was quicker to answer, his hand reaching out halfway. She smiled at the gesture, reaching out and meeting his hand with hers in a simple handshake before she withdrew to wrap her fist around her glass. 

“What brings you to Boston, Jeremy?”

“Nothing too exciting, just work.”

Just work. Such a simple answer. Straightforward. No details. And she could have asked for more, but he met her level of secrecy - of mystery - all the while making his intentions known. He didn’t need to disclose his life to her, or her to him, because he couldn’t care less if he was just looking for a woman to take back to his room. But before she could confirm her theory to be true, he pressed her for more. 

“If you’re here to visit with family, why are you alone?”

Katie wasn’t sure what she heard in Jeremy’s voice when he asked that question. If it was merely curiosity or pity, she hadn’t known him long enough to know. But it left her smile wavering as she answered him, “Busy schedules,” she shrugged her shoulders to give off a feeling of carelessness even though it was still bothering her, “I’ll see them all in the morning.”

“How early?”

 If she had been taking a sip of her drink, Katie would have choked again. “You aren’t very discreet.” 

“I can’t afford to be. A beautiful woman like yourself, you could fly off tomorrow and I’d never see you again. At least I can know I took my shot.”

Katie cocked her hair to the side, her bright auburn hair cascading down between her shoulders as her eyes looked at Jeremy in disbelief. He was the very definition of a golden retriever. Happy, waiting with the greatest anticipation that if he was a dog, his tail would be wagging. And he was waiting for her to throw her a bone. 

Biting her lip, Katie placed her drink down on the bartop and her gaze followed after. She shouldn’t have been considering it. Yet there she was, her hands came to rest around her phone and gripped it tight as one thought was clear in her mind. She needed to call Dottie. 

“Can you excuse me for just a moment?” she asked slowly. 

Jeremy answered with a curt nod, his smile unwavering as he watched her with his wide brown eyes. 

With his permission, Katie couldn’t get out of her chair fast enough. She slid from the stool, and her heels slipping on the hardwood. It left her unsteady for a moment, her hand reaching out to catch herself on the bar, but before she could reach the polished wood a pair of large, warm hands had wrapped around her waist.  

The heat of his touch blossomed through Katie’s belly, sending her breath to hitch in the depths of her throat. She wanted nothing more but to hide her surely reddened face in her hands with embarrassment. She wanted to curse herself for her clumsiness, but she was frozen in his hold as he breathed out a whisper she could barely hear but could feel against her cheek; “Don’t worry. I got you.”

His touch. 

His words. 

It was almost enough to make her shudder. But with one shallow, forced breath Katie found her composure  and gave his arm a careful squeeze and a thank you that he might not have been able to hear. Then, she was drying back, her steps quick as she moved for the privacy of the woman’s washroom. It was there she was able to pull out her phone and call Dottie. But Jeremy’s touch was not forgotten, it’s warmth remained deep in her belly, lingering. 

“Where’s the fire?” There was an alertness in Dottie’s voice, nothing but the peaks of her face visible on the screen as she lay in the dark. Katie could only see more of her tired features as Dottie squinted and brought the phone closer to her face. “Wait,” her tone was one of disbelief, “are you still out?”

“Yeah,” Katie’s voice was uneven as she reached a hand up to tuck her hair behind her ear, “and I think I have a problem.”

“If it’s your card, I told you so. I knew you should have called the bank before you went-”

Shaking her head, Katie cut her off, “No, no, there’s a guy?”

Dottie perked up, any sign of sleepiness void from her face in an instant. “A guy? What are you calling me for? Take him to bed!”

Her excitement was contagious, not even the complaints from Dottie’s tired husband who lay beside her in bed could spoil the mood. Katie wanted to be able to revert back to her younger self. To squeal with excitement over a man. A man who thought she was sexy - who wanted to sleep with her with no strings attached. But it wasn’t that simple. 

“It’s just that,” Katie chewed her lip, a heavy sigh rocking her shoulders, “he’s young.”

“How young is young?” Dottie asked slowly, and cautiously as they waded into dangerous territories together. 

“I don’t know,” she sighed, “they didn’t card him. Maybe, twenty-five. No more than thirty.”

“Shit,” Dottie cursed, the single word drawn out and earning another grunt of disapproval from her husband, “he cute?”

“Very.”

“Well, I mean… Thirty isn’t too bad.”

“That’s IF he’s thirty, Dot,” she emphasized, her eyes wide as she dropped her voice lower at the sound of someone entering the washroom. 

“What’s the worst-case scenario?” Dottie asked. 

Katie thought for a moment, her teeth chewing her lip as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. As a woman, there were many horrible scenarios a woman could end up in when dating. Ending up dead was the worst of the worst, but she didn’t take it to that extreme. “Worst case? He’s a twenty-one-year-old fuckboy like the ones we warned Megan about before she went off to college. And I end up with the clap.”

Dottie’s laugh was lost on the flush of the toilet in the stall next to Katie, and the rush of the sink as the stranger in the bathroom washed their hands. It was a mess of noise, but Katie could still make out Dottie’s next question, “Best case?”

Katie hesitated as she threw her head back to rest against the stall. She was embarrassed by the answer. 

Dottie answered for her, “Best case you get laid for the first time in what is it? Two years?”

Hearing it outloud sent her stomach sinking? Had it really been that long? 

Katie cursed under her breath, her head hanging low. When had she let her life get so pathetic? For years, her life had one priority, raising her son. And she had done a good job, he was successful, about to play in his first NHL game after starting his season with the Bruins’ AHL affiliate.  But she never really moved on from her divorce, and from being a mom. Her ex-husband was engaged, and ready to start a new family. But she hadn’t even fucked someone anyone since her divorce. Even then, she and her husband hadn’t even shared a bed before their divorce. She couldn’t even recall the last time they slept together, even if she wanted to. 

From her throat erupted a long, unsatisfied groan. Her mind quickly fell on a decision that she may come to regret. 

“Dot,” she sighed, “is it fucked up if I take him back to my room?”

Silence hung between the two of them for a moment. Dottie processed the decision, and Katie waited anxiously for her friend to tell her if she was making the wrong decision.

“Teach the kid a thing or two,” Dottie spoke, the playful nature of her words lifting a weight of insecurity from her shoulders. 

“Dottie, thank you,” she spoke quickly, one hand going to the lock on the door while the other ended the call. 

With the decision made, with a little help from her friend, all Katie could do now was hope that Jeremy had waited for her at the bar. If he hadn’t she couldn’t blame him for leaving. Maybe she was older than she looked from a distance. Or he had just come to the bar to kill time before a night out in Boston, and she was merely the entertainment. She couldn’t let herself get too hung up on him if he were gone, but thankfully, she didn’t have too. Jeremy remained at the bar. Standing instead of propped up on his stool, his hand slipping something into his back pocket on her approach. 

And Katie, she didn’t waste any time being coy. “I don’t have reservations until 11.”

The smile that was beginning to feel like a welcome constant on Jeremy’s features grew at her words. Katie wasn’t sure if it was the question he was expecting, but it was clear that it was the one that he was hoping for and it flooded her stomach with butterflies. 

She was going to do it. 

She was going to take this attractive young man back to her room. 

“Let me just pay my tab,” Katie told him, her hands already on her purse to dig out her credit card. She merely pressed her jump against the thin, cold plastic card when the bartender threw his towel over his shoulder and raised his hand to reject her payment. He didn’t want it. Katie’s brow furrowed, then it hit her. It had already been paid for. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” she was quick to quip. Katie knew she should have been thanking him, but she couldn’t help but feel a little insulted. She was a grown woman. Successful in her own right. She was more than capable of paying for her own meal. 

“It’s nothing, really,” Jeremy shrugged it off, his arm sliding behind her to rest on her back so effortlessly it was as if they had come to the bar together. 

“Let me pay you back,” Katie insisted, earning the gentle pressure of his hand against the small of her back as he began to lead her out to the lobby. She almost scoffed. As if he knew where her room was - because she wasn’t going back to his. If this was going to happen, it needed to happen on her terms. That also meant, shoving her hand into her wallet and shoving a fist full of American money in his direction. 

Jeremy continued to refuse, his one hand reaching out to guide her hand back towards her open wallet. “And why would I do that?”

“Because I’m more than capable of paying for my own dinner-” She voiced, ready to fight him on it further, but his answer stopped her in place. 

“Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”

Katie stood in the middle of the hotel lobby, her head slightly cocked to the side as she slid out of Jeremy’s reach. He only took a few strides before looking back at her with such warmth in her eyes she thought she might melt. Jeremy was sweet. Too sweet. Acting in every way he had wanted her husband to when they were married, and he was just a young man. It was a cruel thing in a way. For the universe to taunt her with him, but she would let herself enjoy him, if only for the night. 

“Come on, I’m up on the fourth floor,” as she spoke, Katie’s words softened. She wouldn’t be fighting him about her bill again. If he wanted to be a gentleman, she was going to let him. 

They boarded the elevator together, Katie drawing her key card and moving to the right, and Jeremy boarding and leaning against the far left wall. Scanning her card, the elevator doors shut, the two of them alone together for the first time as the elevator began its slow ascent.

The movement made it feel as if her heart was sinking to the depths of her stomach, her anxiety building, as she leaned back against the right side of the elevator directly across from Jeremy. He was smiling still, watching her, admiring her. And she couldn’t help but smile too. It was contagious. 

Her smile had him smiling wider. 

Then, he pushed off the wall of the elevator and closed the short distance between them. He moved so quickly her anxieties didn’t have enough time to worsen, nor did they ease. Her heart raced in the depth of her chest as his hands found her waist, drawing her in from the cold support of the elevator wall and into the strength of his body. He was lean, maybe even a little too lean for her liking, but she could feel how strong he was as her body was pulled flush with his. Katie could feel it first in his grasp, as Jeremy’s fingertips pressed into the curves of her waist. Then again, as her hands braced against his chest, her own careful touch sliding up - feeling his pectorals flex in the process - and around before linking behind his neck. Her tough welcomed Jeremy in, and with him came his kiss. 

Katie had to press up onto her toes to meet it, even in her heels. Teetering on the toes of her heels as Jeremy leaned in and pressed a slow kiss to her lips. She had expected it to be a desperate kiss. One that was sloppy, and would leave her face wet and her eyes rolling, but she was wrong. Jeremy kissed her slowly, both hands on her hips for one moment, the next one had risen to stroke over the soft skin of her cheek. His thumb dragged over the smooth flesh, and down to catch on her chin, drawing her mouth open. Katie had to choke back a moan at the feeling of his tongue slipping in between parted lips. The warm stroke of his tongue infiltrated her mouth, the depth of the kiss leaving her legs weak as the elevator door chimed. 

They had reached her floor. 

red

She licked her lips as she drew back, her hands falling to her clutch to fumble with its contents for her room key. If she was fumbling with her purse, she wouldn’t have to look up and risk anyone else seeing the red lipstick that quickly became a mess on her face. She could feel how it was smudged off her lips, and she was sure that if she looked to Jeremy who now followed behind her like a shadow, that it would be smeared over his lips as well. 

But she didn’t look up. Not until she got to the door of her room and she took a deep breath. Once she crossed the threshold, there would be no going back. The thought left her on the verge of vomiting as she heard the lock click, and her hand reached for the door handle. She was nervous, more than that. Anxious. She was anxious. But there was an excitement that left her shivering as she led Jeremy into her hotel room. 

If he was going to kiss her like that, she couldn’t wait to see what else he intended to do with her. But first-

“Do you want another drink?” Katie asked him quickly as she came to stand in front of the small console table in the entryway. She placed her clutch there, and her key and had intended to peel away from it to move to the small bar in her room, but she found herself trapped between it and Jeremy’s body as the door shut behind her. 

Hands splaying out over the table, Katie braced herself there as Jeremy’s hands returned to her body. One snake around her waist, easing her to lean back into him while the other carefully pushed her loose auburn curls away from the pale skin from her neck. Her eyes went wide, fixated on the horrible piece of art that hung on the wall as his hot breath encroached on her neck. It washed over her in heated waves. The hot moisture was almost enough to make her sweat, but instead Jeremy left her melting. His kiss was slow against her neck. Peppering at first before his lips were dragging down her skin, leaving hot trails down to her collarbone and back up again. 

Her heart fluttered. Then it pounded. So loudly, all Katie could hear was her heartbeat in her ears. It left her eyes fluttering shut, her mind focused on nothing but the kiss of his lips and the touch of his hands on her body. He caressed her curves, gripped at her flesh and kissed every bit of exposed skin on her neck, throat and shoulders. And it all left her melting, her mind fuzzy, and any bit of inhibition was ready to leave her and let him do as he pleased with her body. That was until she left his hand encroached on the hem of her dress. The warm touch of his hand on the sensitive skin of her thigh sent her head into a panic. 

This was the beginning of foreplay. 

Katie should have expected it, she should have been looking forward to it. But it left her nerves raw. In all the years she had been married to Ronnie, foreplay had been forgotten. Sex was an obligation and it was quick. A mere tool used to please her husband while she was left to finish herself off in the shower or beside him after he had fallen asleep in bed. Back then, it didn’t matter if she was dressed in lingerie or pajamas. If she had a fresh shave, or hadn’t shaved for weeks. Ronnie didn’t care - or atleast, he always said he didn’t. But now, as a stranger’s hands were so eager to explore every inch of her body, it left her self conscious. 

“I’ve got whiskey at the bar,” Katie breathed out quickly, her knees weak as she stepped away from him and quickly moved for the bar. 

She was met by Jeremy’s low chuckle,“I’m not that bad looking, am I?”

“No - no, it’s not that - I’m sorry,” Katie apologized, her hand grasping at one of the little bottles of rum from the bar, “I haven’t done anything like this in a long time. I’m just a little nervous.” 

“How long’s it been?” His words were casual, his confidence unwavering even as she found her so close to plummeting. 

“Since when?” She asked slowly, seeking clarification if only to bide herself more time. Katie didn’t want to have to tell him the truth, but she wasn’t a liar. 

“Since you’ve had casual sex?”

“You really don’t want to know,” she countered. 

Omission was not the same as lying. 

Looking up from the bar top, and the bottle of whiskey in her hand that she had yet to uncork her eyes rose to look at Jeremy who had found his way to the end of her bed. He had seated himself down, his shoes kicked off his feet, and he leaned back on his elbows, lounging casually in the bed that had yet to be slept in. 

While he laid back, so casually, that he could have let his head lul back and let himself stare at the ceiling. But even as he relaxed there, waiting for her nerves to be put at ease by a little liquid courage, his soft brown eyes were fixated on her. Her grip tightened around the neck of the bottle, a quivering breath coursing through her body as she held his stare. It was soft, alluring in a way that left her ready to answer anything he may ask of her and it left her curing under her breath. It was a dangerous thing, just how easy to trust he was. 

Pouring her drink, straight whiskey into her glass, she sipped the room temperature alcohol back and let it burn. Then, under the blaze of it consuming her, Katie answered, “Twenty years.”

“Bullshit.”

Katie’s lips pressed together in a small smile, the shock on his ace coaxing an innocent shrug from her shoulders. 

“You don’t look a day over thirty.”

“Now that is bullshit,” she pointed at him, her lips spreading into a wider grin now. 

“You look incredible. That dress, your body. What can I say? You caught my attention. But I bet that dress looks even better on the floor.”

Katie swallowed back the lump that quickly formed in her throat as his words. She was very self conscious about her body. It changed drastically over the years. Once she was skinny, flat and narrow in no way the healthiest version of herself. But it was also the one that had carried her child, and left her with curves she didn’t want and scars only her ex-husband had seen. And now she was going to share it with Jeremy, a man who she was sure still had so much to learn about a woman’s body. It was a terrifying thought. One that hung in the back of her mind as she abandoned her drink on the bar and stepped out of her heels. 

Barefoot, she took careful strides towards the bed, her demeanor caught somewhere between confident and terrified, but it caught his attention all the same. Katie knew she had caught his eye when his smile tested the limits of how far it could spread over his cheeks as Jeremy sat up from where he leaned. He moved slowly to the edge of the bed, his legs spreading just enough for Katie to stand between them. 

With a careful, final step, Katie stood between his legs and looked down at him. Her heart pounded deep in her chest, so hard and so rapidly she thought her ribs were about to rattle. And in her chest, she could feel her very last inhale struggling to creep its way back up her throat in the calm of an exhale. It burned in her lungs, the nerves of undressing in front of him smothering her. That was, until she felt the warms of Jeremy’s hands find her body, and in an instant she calmed. 

She exhaled slowly through slightly parted lips as her eyes fell shut. In the darkness it brought, Katie fixated on the warmth of Jeremy’s touch. It dragged over her curves, tracing each rise and fall with his fingers and palms before each of his hands settled on her broad hips. There, he gripped her gently and guided her steps in a small circle so she stood with her back to him. 

Katie raised up her arms slowly, her hands dragging up her own neck and tangled into her auburn strands as she drew them away from the zipper of her dress. Her breath hitched again, but only for a moment,  in the back of her throat as she felt his fingers pinch at the zipper and drag it down. He inched it down slowly, and Katie could feel the black fabric begin to fall away from her skin. And as the warm fabric fell away, the cold air of the room kissed her skin. It sent a shiver coursing up her spine, her entire body shuttering as the fabric hit the ground, leaving her in nothing but a pair of black lace pair of panties. 

They were brand new. The tag was in the trash bin in the bathroom. And Katie would be forever thankful that she had bought them when she bought the dress instead of wearing something she had packed. If she had been wearing anything else, she may have recoiled from his touch, but instead, as she turned in place to face him, Katie radiated confidence. 

He could see almost all of her, from her stretch marks to the freckles on her skin. Yet, Jeremy’s touch didn’t recoil, his hands continued to explore the expanse of her body and his dark eyes didn’t look away. Instead, they traced her every curve on the way back up to her face that was left blank from the nerves that came from waiting for his reaction. Katie was sure that Jeremy hadn’t seen a body like hers before. So old, so flawed, so-

Her thoughts were broken by Jeremy’s slow, soft spoken words. “Yeah, looks much better on the floor,” Jeremy punctuated his words with the slow swipe of his tongue over his lip as his warm gaze dragged up and down the length of her body. His complement dissolved any feeling of nervousness, of insecurity, that had consumed Katie. Her joints had been weak, and her heart racing, but he brought her calm. 

In that calm, Katie found her confidence. Her teeth bit down on her lower lip, her mind racing as she tried to determine what exactly her first move would be – and then she took it. 

One step, and then another, Katie brought her legs up to kneel on the bed, the mattress shifting beneath her weight as she straddled Jeremy’s lap. The denim on his dark jeans was rough against the inside of her thighs as his hands helped guide her down into his lap. Jeremy’s arms constricted around her, drawing her nearly naked body flush to his. Katie could feel his hot breath against her cheek, her inhale drawing in the sweet scent of alcohol before she stole a kiss from his lips. 

Katie wasted no time with sweetness or caution. Instead she kissed him with such an insatiable hunger, she knew tasting him on her tongue wouldn’t be enough. But it was a start. Each deep kiss and stroke of her tongue against his left his stubble to drag over the sensitive skin of her jaw and cheeks. It was rough, scratching against her skin and contrasting the tender movements of his hands as his warm touch moved up over the curves of her body. Jeremy’s touch settled on the broad curve of her hips, his fingers digging into the soft and supple flesh. And it was the only encouragement she needed to coax the subtle roll of her hips over the roughness of her jeans. 

Quickly, Katie became intoxicated by his kiss, by his touch and the very feeling of him between her legs. It began with the friction of his fly against the crotch of her panties, the subtle friction sparking the beginnings of her arousal. And then she felt him. His cock stiffened in the confines of his jeans, growing and becoming a thick outline that pressed up into the thick denim that divided them. Katie dragged her core up and down his clothed length, a shudder taking her body as a soft moan was coaxed from her lips. And it left Jeremy smiling as he pulled back just enough to tug off his t-shirt. 

Her eyes looked him up and down in a quick glance. Jeremy was fit. With his chest muscles flexing, the outline of his abs clear and his biceps building as he tossed his t-shirt aside, Katie almost tucked her tail and ran. He wasn’t an Adonis of a man, but he was intimidating in every way. Especially, while she was no idyllic beauty herself. 

“That’s just,” she exhaled a long, desperate breath, “not even fair.”

Jeremy’s grin grew wider, his hands gripping her hips a little tighter, as he picked her up and flipped her to lay back against the comfort of the bed. The action left her breathless, her hands scrambling against the bed to ease herself upright until she felt Jeremy’s hand flat against her stomach to keep her in place as she lay just beneath the comfort of the hotel room pillows. She lay there panting for a moment, her hair a mess against the bed and her eyes fixated on the ceiling as she felt the bed shift, and Jeremy settle between her legs. 

“Just take a second, relax,” Jeremy’s hot words washed over the inside of her thighs, and her core clenched. 

The room around her seemed to spin as she lay there, her lips parted in disbelief as she felt his fingers hook on the black lace of her panties and dragged them down the length of her legs. She could feel the warm, wet puddle of her arousal as it dragged down against her inner thigh, and her stomach knotted as she felt the warmth of his breath encroach on her needy core. She couldn’t remember the last time a man had been between her legs - if one had been at all, because she knew her husband never had been. But Jeremy didn’t hesitate. 

He lay on the bed on his stomach between her legs, his one hand sliding down from her hip, over the red curls of hair that trailed down over her pelvis and down to the slick folds between her thighs. He stroked her slowly, with two fingers barely brushing her slit before parting her with his fingers and tracing the sweet arousal at her core. Jeremy teashed her there, her heart racing as she tried so desperately to be calm. Her heart pounded, and her teeth care down on her lower lip in a firm bite, the pain a little distraction from the insecurities that threatened to consume her. She in no way felt prepared for this of all things. It was supposed to be a quick fuck, but then she felt him. The warmth of his tongue stroked over the entrance of her cunt and she moaned. 

It ripped up her throat before she could stop it, the heat and wetness of his long tongue a stark contrast to the colder temperature of the hotel room. And the sound only seemed to fuel him. He delved into her as if he was dehydrated and she was all he had to drink. His tongue parted her folds, and delved into her core leaving her cunt dripping with his saliva. His hands wound around her waist, one moving over the thick red curls of her hair as he blindingly fumbled for her clit as his face was buried between her thighs. 

Reaching down, her hand took hold of his carefully. Her fingers slid along his, gripping them carefully as she guided him to just the right spot. But once she guided him there, Katie’s touch didn’t leave him. Her hand remained resting over his. It kept his pressure even, and his motion just right as he rubbed her in slow circles. The action wound her up, the pleasure building like a wind up toy. Each stroke of his tongue, and every rotation of his fingers left her burning pleasure to coil in her stomach and soon she was seeing stars. She was so close to the brink of her pleasure, that her toes were curling against the sheets and her thighs threatened to close in on his ears. But that was where he left her, on the verge of her climax, as he trailed sloppy kisses down the inside of her thighs before he could push up and pull as his belt. 

Pushing up onto her elbows, she watched as she pulled his belt free, and worked his jeans and his boxer briefs down his legs together. It was hard not to stare, to admire the muscles of his body as she fished through his pocket or his wallet, and then the condom that was tucked in its folds. 

The wrapper became discarded on the bed beside her, and he worked the latex onto his cock, ready to take his place between her legs again, but she didn’t let him. Katie felt too guilty, selfish even, for having his face buried between her legs, and it had her pushing up from her place with a sudden surge of confidence. Her hands found the strength of Jeremy’s chest, a playful shove knocking him back to lay against the bed so she could climb into his lap once more. She took in a steady breath, her nose wrinkling for a moment as it crossed her mind that she may be too old for what she had in mind, but it didn’t stop her. 

With a single hand, Katie reached down between their bodies and took hold of his cock in her hand. She stoke it slowly, once and then again before she brought it to the entrance of her core. The mere pressure of the tip of her cock threatened to send her legs trembling before she could take him. If it were anyone else, Katie might have given up and let him take her plainly on her back knowing full well it would get the job done for her. But Katie persevered. She eased herself down onto him slowly, her eager core accommodating him so effortlessly it left her moaning. And once she felt his warmth against her ass, and had consumed him into the depths of her core, Katie began to ride him. 

Her hands braced herself against the slender strength of her chest as her hips rolled. She moved in a slow and steady rhythm, the friction sending pleasure boiling through her entire body. Katie became lost in the feeling of hip hips rising to meet her body in a gentle pound. It was all she could fixate on, even as her legs began to tremble and the muscles in her legs began to burn. She could hear each subtle impact, the meeting of skin, and it became a symphony of sounds that mixed with her desperate breath and the soft sounds that she coaxed from Jeremy’s lips. He reeled on the bed beneath her, his warm eyes admiring her body as his hands gripped her hips and fingers sunk into the flesh of her ass. He encouraged her every move, guiding her up and down his cock, but she couldn’t hide how her legs trembled. 

Jeremy grinned wide, his head leaning back against the pillow as he let out a trembling breath of words, “Look so pretty taking my cock, you wanna see?”

Katie found herself at a loss for words as she slid down the length of his cock and froze with him deep inside her. Her breaths quaked under each uneven breath, and her mind was left fuzzy by the mere feeling of being so full of him. And all she could do was nod. 

Carefully, Jeremy eased her from his cock, and guided her to rest on all fours on the bed. In front of her at the end of the bed was the dresser, her empty bag still resting on top of it, but it wasn’t enough to block the view of the mirror that hung on the wall above it. She could see her reflection there, her auburn hair left mused and her face was almost just as red as it was flushed and smeared with her red lipstick. She could see her body too. Her skin was fair and freckled and so exposed. Her breast hung in two small swells, and from behind her shoulders she could see the swell of her hips and Jeremy positioning himself behind her. His eyes were fixated on her ass, as were his hands that kneaded at the soft flesh. 

Katie could see his lips move in a silent curse that was lost on her as he pulled he positioned her just right. And when he had her just where he wanted her, the careful glide of the tip of his cock found her entrance again, and her thrust deep inside. The first thrust left her mewling, and the second left her fingers to grip at the bedding below. She met every single one of Jeremy’s thrusts, the mass of her ass quaking from each impact. But she didn’t watch herself, Katie’s eyes did not leave Jeremy. She watched as his face softened, and his muscles flexed. His eyes even closed from the time as he became lost in the feeling – but when they opened his stare met his gaze in the mirror. 

Jeremy tutted her gently, a single hand leaving the soft flesh of her hip to travel up the length of her back. As he moved, she could feel more and more of his body against her. Then, his hand found her throat. He held it carefully, without pressure, and guided her up to kneel. There she could feel his entire body against hers, all the while his cock was buried deep in her core. His thumb rested along her chin, and his forefinger stretched out along her jaw, and Jeremey held her gaze there, on her own feeble expression as he fucked her until her throat was raw, and her core clenched desperately around her cock. It was under the pressure of her core’s embrace that she felt his breathing quicken,the rush of air hot against the back of her neck as he reached the very peak of his climax. 

His hands fell away from her lip ribbon, and Katie fell back onto her hands and knees. Her entire body trembled as she lowered herself down to the mattress. The soft twitches involuntary as she was left panting and void of Jeremy as he eased his cock from her. She was seeing stars, her head or the room spinning as the rush of being fucked began to fade. Katie was left exhausted, ready for sleep, but satisfied - feeling euphoria for the first time in years. But before she could sleep, she needed to take care of Jeremy. 

“You’re welcome to shower before you go,” she offered as she lay sprawled out on the mattress. It was the least she could do. 

“I’m going to take you up on that,” Jeremy carded a hand through his sweaty curls as he nodded towards what he thought was the bathroom door. 

Katie nodded in confirmation, and watched as he disappeared through the bathroom door. She did not move until she could hear the water tattooing against the shower floor. But she didn’t go far. She reached out to the dresser, and she pulled open the dresser drawer. She had left her pajamas on the very top, the same ones she was going to wear before Dottie had convinced her to go out, and she dressed slowly. Her body ached in the best way as she stepped into them. Then, she joined Jeremy in the bathroom. 

The room was full of steam, the mirror fogged over as she moved to stand in front of it. A single hand cut through the fog, revealing her tired reflection, but best of all she could see the silhouette of Jeremy in the shower behind her. She stood there, brushing her teeth, her eyes admiring his body as it was obscured by the steamy glass. 

Leaning forward, Katie spat a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink. 

“I’m going to turn in, you can let yourself out when you’re done. Use all the hot water if you want, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t steal my wallet while I slept.”

Jeremy’s laughter filled the air as effortlessly as the plumes of steam from his shower. It drew Katie's eyes to his blurred silhouette, a small smile curling up on her own lips. She could get used to that sound, and the warm fuzzy feeling that came with it. The joy and amusement it embodied was one she needed to embrace herself–

“You’ve got nothing to worry about. Goodnight, Katie.”

–And for a moment she frowned as she moved for the doorway, her eyes fixated on the ground, as she realized it was a laugh she wouldn't hear again.

Sweaty palms threatened the integrity of a single slip of paper as Katie held it firm in a single fist. It was a pale yellow posted note, one that she had found stuck to her bathroom mirror when she had woken up in the morning. It was left there to be found by tired eyes, the message:  For if you ever find yourself alone in Boston. Paired with Jeremy’s phone number,  it had made her smile as she tucked it into her purse before she had gone out for brunch with her son, Parker, her ex-husband and his new fiance. But it had also left her panicked when it had fallen out of her purse when she pulled out her wallet as she insisted on paying at least half of the bill. It rested on the table face door for a moment, Katie had frozen completely and Parker was quick to try and retrieve it for her, but she had acted quickly. She had grabbed it before he could, and then she had conceded. Parker paid for their meal, and the paper had remained secured in her hand as they left and parted ways. 

Even as she walked alone in a park she couldn’t remember the name of, the slip of paper remained secure in her hand. In the other she held her cell phone against her ear as it rang. She needed to call Dottie. She needed to know everything. 

“He left me his number.”

“That’s my girl. Rocked that boy’s world.” Dottie encouraged her with a holler. 

Katie looked down to her feet, her face flushed with color. She couldn’t remember the last time she had done anything like she had with Jeremy, and if it had been anyone else Katie would have bit her tongue. But she could trust Dottie more than anyone. They were best friends, practically sisters, Katie could tell her anything. 

“I think he had to be older than I thought. He was actually really good in bed,” Katie smiled a little too wide as she spoke. It had been too long since she had a real girl talk. “Like really good. And his body, Dot, I couldn't have pulled a guy like that when I was twenty.” 

“What did he say he did for work?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t ask-”

“Maybe he’s a porn star,” Dottie joked but Katie didn’t laugh.

She could only shrug. “I mean, it would explain a lot.” 

“You used a condom, right?”

“Yes mom, of course I did,” Katie rolled her eyes. 

“Good girl, are you going to text him?”

The question hung in the air for a moment. Katie looked away out over the park as if Katie could see her on what was merely a voice call. The prospect of reaching out to Jeremy was a pleasant thought in her mind. He was attractive, kind, and so good in bed. He treated her the way that she wanted to be treated. She should want to call him, but he was young. Too young to be anything more than a one night stand. 

She could never see Jeremy again. 

“Fuck, no,” she assured Dottie, “number went into the trash,” her words were rushed as she lied, and rushed further to assure Dottie wouldn’t question her on it. “I gotta go, I’ll call you after the game tonight. Kisses!”

TD Garden was unlike any arena Katie had ever been in. The fans were loud, so loud she swore her bones rattled in her body with every intense cheer. And the atmosphere left her sitting on the edge of the seat since before the game could even start. Or maybe that was just the nerves as she sat beside her ex-husband as they watched their son Parker Waylon-Stacy erupt from the tunnel to take his rookie lap. 

Her hands came together over her heart, her eyes fixated on him, and then the jumbotron above as the camera followed his path along the side. The threat of tears burned at her eyes, her lips parted in a breath that fought back of heartfelt sob that erupted when his name was plastered across the screen with his stats from the AHL. Parker Stacy.

Stacy. 

Her last name on her back, not her husband’s last name or the hyphenation of the two. It left ehr on the verge of tears throughout the night, and they did spill as it came down to the third period when she shot up from her seat as her son assisted on what would be the game winning goal. Katie cried into her hands, her husband’s arm patting her back as the crowd erupted around them. There was no greater pride than celebrating her son’s success in that moment with her husband, and the strangers around her that even offered her some napkins as her mascara began to run. 

“That’s my son,” she sobbed with pride, and the crowd of college kids around her celebrated with her. Some jumped, others spilled their beer, Katie even received a hug, but they all cheered, “Stacy's Mom!”

Katie remained in her seat after the game, reveling in the silence as the seats around her and her family cleared. And she only moved from her palace when she received a text message from Parker. He wanted them to come down to the locker room. It sent her through what felt like a maze of the arena, but with the help of a member of the security team, she found her boy. 

Katie ran to him, her arms enveloping her only son in her arms and pressing a kiss into his sweat drench hair. There the tears began to fall in hot streams down her cheeks, “I am so proud of you,” she told him as she drew back, her hand cradling his cheeks. Parker’s face was red, surely embarrassed by his mother’s affections, but he didn’t stop her. He had always been a mama’s boy, and that wouldn’t change even if his teammates gave him a hard time about that later. 

Parker wore a boyish grin, his hand raising to push through his wet hair. He was already showered and dressed, even if some of the other players around him were still half-dressed in their equipment. Parker was ready to leave, but first he wanted to make the introductions he felt he may never be able to make again. “Mom this is Patrice Bergeron-”

Katie turned in place, a smile blossoming over her face as she reached out to shake the Captain’s hand. She had every intention of being polite. She wanted to introduce herself, to make the small talk as she was prompted to. But her words were lost as hoots and hollers of the nickname Bulldog filled the room. The players were welcoming their rookie goaltender back into the room after completing his post game interview. Confidence embodied his every stride, and it drew Katie’s curious eye. 

The player was still dressed in his equipment, his back to her as he stood in front of his stall. SWAYMAN was sprawled across the back of his shoulders, framed by his shoulders. A single large hand reached back, peeling it from his body before it was tossed into a pile with the others. Katie’s eyes moved back to the Captain, a small awkward smile on her lips as she listened to him talk about the pleasure of mentoring her son. But his words were lost on her ears as they perked up at the sound of all too familiar laughter. 

Katie’s blood ran cold, her eyes searching for the sources of the laughter. Her heart pounded in her chest, her stomach jumping up into her throat as she was left on the verge of vomiting. There, standing in his stall, laughing along with his teammates was Swayman, who no longer stood with his back to her. He was completely shirtless now, and his face was all too clear to see. She knew those warm brown eyes, and that soft confident smile. The sight of them was one that would be etched into her memories for the rest of her days. 

Swayman was Jeremy. 

She stood there, petrified, her eyes unmoving from his as he leaned back and flexed his chest muscles. It was there, with his back leaned against his stall, his warm gaze rose and his face softened with recognition. If he was panicked he didn’t show it. And while she froze, Jeremy acted. He stood up slowly, Katie had to fight not to let her eyes wander, and he approached with a casual stride. 

“I didn’t realize we had guests,” Jeremy smiled as he came up to stand beside his Captain, but Katie could barely hear him over the pounding of her heart in her ears. 

The room around her seemed to move in slow motion, her head suddenly feeling light as Patrice introduced her as Stacy’s Mom. It was then she thought she might actually vomit, the bile burning at the back of her throat as Jeremy looked to her with slightly parted lips and a slight glimmer in his eyes. Her palms began to sweat, so much so that she had to wipe her hands along the seam of her jeans before she could reach out to shake Jeremy’s hand as he offered it to her. 

“Stacy’s Mom?” Jeremy spoke with such disbelief that Katie almost believed her, “You don’t look a day over thirty.”

White she had heard that same flattery before it made her heart race all the same. But this time, she couldn’t show it. 

“You’re too kind,” Katie forced a smile, struggling to remain composed as the feeling of her hand encased by his left her heart racing just as his touch had the night before. It was enough to bring her to her knees. 

Jeremy made her weak, and he would for the rest of her days. She would crave him, in every sense of the word. Katie wanted to hear his sweet laughter. She wanted to feel his hands on her body, and enjoy every piece of his that he could offer her. It was a hunger that would rage and burn in the depths of her, but it was one that she could never fulfill. Not now, not that she knew who he was. 

Standing there, the chaos of the room became an echo in her ears as her hand fell away from Jeremy’s hold. She watched as he met her ex-husband, his smile consistently pleasant and was the only thing keeping her from spiraling right there in the locker room. 

Katie would be seeing Jeremy Swayman again. At games, during breaks. Often. So often it would pain her. And she could only pray that she would have the strength to refuse him, or that Parker would find himself on a new team before her will could break. 

Katherine Stacey could not fuck Jeremy Swayman. 

She wouldn’t. 

Not again. 

Surely, she wouldn’t be able to get away with it. Not without complications. 

Could she? 

Taglist: @mp0625 @starshine-hockey-girl

[shesmore-shoebill]

since you mentioned an angel in neon blue as one of your faves…..your top 5 amangela fics perhaps? some honorary mentions too if there’s too many? 👀

Sorry for the delay on this, life got busy and then more busy instead of less busy and I wanted to give this ask its deserved amount of consideration.

anyway. Five is HARD. I will do my best. Order is not indicative of anything bc I've agonized long enough as it is. I've tagged folks + linked directly to their posts where I could find their associated tumblr post, and links to AO3 where I couldn't.

Also I cheated and made a separate list for NSFW ones. Partly because I know some people don't want to read NSFW. and to cheat a little on the 5 restriction.

As always, RPF with F as in fiction. From what I recall, none of these are attempting to speculate or make any actual statements about real people, they're all just works of fiction I like.

if anyone wants me to remove a link to their fic or a tag for any reason, let me know.

close my eyes (and fantasize) by @baflegacy

listen. I am a fucking sucker for well intentioned and realistic miscommunication that stems from care and then goes wrong. I love a thing where someone cares about someone and thats why they're worried and the worry also means they are a little mad and a little hurt bc fuck, i want to help you, why arent you talking to me about this, did i do something, crossed with the other person doing everything in their power to do the exact thing driving them up the wall, because they genuinely care so much about the other person that its skewing their judgement. People who care and people who fuck up. I'll eat it up every time, and this one is written in a way that feels so real. 👌👌👌👌

the devil is in the details by skiespeaches

this is a newer fic and its still in progress atm and so theres a chance it gets bumped into NSFW territory 😅 but im really enjoying it!!! The dynamic between Amanda and Angela takes the competitive edge we can see in videos and makes it into something phenomenal. Its got such strong tension and pacing, and its also got. REALLY GOOD COMMUNICATION. People react realistically and have reasonable fears and doubts but everyone also talks about them and trusts each other and its just so satisfying to read as a result. And it STILL does the tension and the 👀👀👀👀👀 so well. Guess its kind of funny to put this and the prior recc right next to each other but I genuinely love both of these. Communication and humans are weird.

not strong enough by @moviemandy

i love a disaster angela fic as much as anyone but because I feel like that trope is established among smosh rpf, I love having that get subverted even more. More Amanda getting comforted!!! yeah!!!!!And the way the dynamic and emotions are written in this one is especially satisfying to me, they all feel very real, and sweet. :') Also, Im always a sucker for the trope where someone tries to deflect from their issues by taking care of someone else and then gets CALLED OUT FOR IT. also, double bonus, this fic can be read completely platonically. :]

a field of yellow flowers by @unknownteapot

gah this one has so many layers and elements to it, its such a damn delight to reread. the bittersweetness of it all really 👌👌👌👌. Grudging respect and admiration in an awful space, magnetism of people who both deeply want to love each other and really don't (but they do). The world feels very realized and that's so important bc the fic clearly sets up the interplay as like. The two of them and also the world they are in as a distinct three players in the story. This fic has so many emotions!!! gut punch of an end! you feel for both of them so deeply by the end.

i've been having revelations by @poppyfamily

slight cheating bc this is courtmangela but it should still count imo!!! It contains another classic trope of people who care about each other deeply and it being percieved by other people before they clock it themselves. Its something I like specifically as a writing trope and only executed in specific ways- caring deeply and being affectionate does not HAVE to mean you want to sleep with or are in love with someone, and IRL assumptions about that can be. Infuriating. But love how this fic does it. :) Also its funny and it feels very genuine and the voices all sound. right. I love fics with lots of cuts where so much is said in tiny details and tiny moments, it makes the world feel very fleshed out. Also, Courtmangela as a band is just a blessed concept.

NSFW fics:

lets make this bed get squeaky by baflegacy

This rewrote my goddamn brain chemistry actually. Like yes, this one is hot, but the parts that really hooked into my brain are not exclusively the spicy bits. Pining RPF Amanda is SO important to my brain, and that dynamic of an Amanda silently losing her mind and Angela also silently losing her mind but slightly more at peace about it, combined with their very genuine friendship keeping things fine and then. and THEN. well.

personal leisure by unknownteapot

hey this fic is hot as hell. Its extremely well written. But also besides the nsfw parts the banter and the sort of instant connection all feel very real and unforced and i love that the end of the fic feels so open ended but also so light and hopeful and sweet. choosing to believe they meet for coffee the next day and it all goes swimmingly.

like she wants to try me on by baflegacy

this fic is about amanda in the submissive and breedable outfit and angela. It accomplishes eveeything you could want from that. Its Very nsfw. its VERY good. Writing smut is difficult on multiple levels- keeping it logistically and emotionally sound while keeping it spicy. It does all three really well. also the aftercare moment is really sweet. :]

bonus: its the subject of this ask so i didnt include it but shout out to an angel in neon blue- the tension is INCREDIBLE and the way the ending recontextualizes everything and leaves you unsure who was really in control the whole time is like. really impressive. The characterization is SO strong and feels so true to the Sarah Christ we know and creates an equally strong Creekside Killer characterization to juxtapose it. 👌

[nomsfaultau]

thank you so much for writing mandatory family reunion. i just reread it for the eighth time. i think im going to dedicate my life to life to reading your other sbi fics until you update again. also; do you have any tips for committing to fics and not leaving them half-finished?

ahhhh that’s so sweet glad you enjoyed! As for writing fics, having it be your special interest really helps. But for more general advice on finishing:

-Don’t stick to just one story. Which seems counter intuitive! But inevitably you’re going to hit a snag in one story. So instead of stopping writing at all, switch projects. Writing involves a whole bunch of thinking, and stuff needs time to percolate in the back of your head. But having a small project to work on in the mean time keeps you engaged in the writing process, gives you practice, makes you feel like you’re making progress, and allows time to work out the other story. I personally have 1-2 main projects, Fault and MFR, and then rotate a couple back burner stories that I work on whenever I get inspiration and fully expect to have very slow progress and possibly never finish. Short stories, one shots, hell even just writing little one off scenes that don’t go anywhere. It’s a way to keep writing fun and thus you’re more likely to continue working on the stuff you’re trying to complete. Don’t feel bad if there’s breaks between working on your main project. Writing involves a lot of thinking and it takes time to do that.

-Devoting time to do that thinking also significantly helps. When you’re falling asleep can be a good time to rotate stories in your head. Could also be if you’re walking from place to place, or brushing your teeth, or other little gaps in the day. Even if you’re not physically writing, it’s still part of the process and can make it easier when you actually sit down to write because you know what scene you’re most excited to work on. Also, talking over your story idea with a friend is a great way to stay motivated if you can get over the mortifying ordeal of being known. You can bounce ideas off them, and other people’s investment in a project can be a great motivator to finish. Like legit a single ao3 comment once stopped me from my plan to abandon a fic. Reminding yourself why you (and other people) like the story makes it easier to want to continue.

-Keeping a rough outline of what you envision for the story can give you a road map to how close to done you are and where to go next. Just like you can hop between projects, I find jumping around the plot time line to write what scene I’m most interested in atm keeps me going instead of writing everything in order. Though, all writers have different degrees of plot planning, so that depends on your style.

-Art! I’m an artist, and while writing definitely fuels what I draw, I find doodling cool scenes I want to write really inspires me to keep going. This sorta falls under the same category of continuing to think about the story and motivating you to finish. -I found keeping a writing journal has improved how I view my writing. Basically, I’ll jot down a bullet point list of scenes worked on that week/month. Writing is a very slow process, so seeing a timeline of actual progression on a story makes it feel like I’m actually getting more out of my head and onto paper. I also jot down what ideas for scenes I came up with since that’s also part of writing, and might include a chill no stakes writing goal for that period, like work on X or Y project, or a particular scene. Sometimes my goal is just ‘write at least one sentence’. I give it lots of leeway, and accept that the muse may just be somewhere else that week. And if the goal isn’t met, no sweat! Life can get busy at times and it’s more important that you aren’t beating yourself up if it’s been awhile since you last touched a project. Forcing yourself to write a scene that isn’t ready won’t result in a good scene or an happy writer. Switch projects, give yourself time to think about it, take care of yourself, etc.

And, legitimately, don’t be afraid to abandon a piece. Maybe you’ll come back to it, maybe you won’t. It can feel disheartening to feel like you can’t seem to finish a project, but unfinished pieces also do a lot for you: they hone your craft, allow you a creative outlet, give you scenes that could potentially be reworked for later pieces, and most importantly were hopefully fun to write! Story crafting is a hobby that should bring you joy, not frustration and shame.

Like, I have stories that will never see the light of day and are just so I can have fun and poke it with a stick occasionally. I’m 100% confident in saying that every author will have tenfold the number of unfinished wips compared to complete works. That’s just part of the creative process: exploring different worlds to find the one you want to write.

Perhaps a fic might never get finished, but in the wise words of Technoblade: “if you enjoy it, it’s not time wasted, no?”

(Now, I think he was talking about murdering people, but the point still stands.)

[dreemurr-skelememer]

late ask BUT director's cut for a home for two?

fuck, anon. you don't know what can of worms you just opened.

i was going to keep this concise to one point but upon rereading it for the first time in a while i just....have too much to say about a home for two.

it's my all time favorite fic ive ever written, if it's not obvious.

firstly, i want to bring up these snippets (STARTING OFF STRONG....SORRY)

these were the moments where error finally started opening up to paperjam. and they mean a lot to me.

his personality is finally starting to shine through; his stubbornness and hotheaded-ness. it's the moments where it was clear that this kid wasn't as closed off as paperjam thought and had a personality masked by trauma and anxiety.

after so much struggle, seeing his personality finally peak through sends pj (and hopefully the reader) into fondness.

i love the little details. I KNOW I WROTE IT. but i love the little details.

these snippets were the moments where error started expressing his safety and trust towards pj

he's really made a lot of progress over the course of the few days in the fic, and seeing him finally feel the safety and love he deserves makes me so....AGH. AAGRGRGHG.

the entire fic is so tense and mildly stressful that finally writing down error's new found stability makes me so mushy and gushy!! god

i didn't emphasize it a lot but paperjam really didn't talk to error like most people would towards a four-year-old.

and that's not a bad thing! in fact, the opposite!

this is partly because paperjam is unprepared and does not know how to talk to children, but talking to kids like real, actual people and not dumbing everything down for them is actually really beneficial to their learning and growth process! (iirc, that is)

this scene and the dialogue earlier in it also really showed paperjam's frustrations. he's not perfect in any way, and he almost took it out then and there on error through a stern talking.

neither of it was their fault, of course. just a lot of misplaced love and stress from everything.

i like making my characters feel like people. and pj is such.....a person. i love him dearly.

i could gush about toriel forever in any instance about the way she acts like such a mom, not just this fic. but mostly this fic.

i love toriel. if i could grab every toriel scene in the fic, i would. but one example is enough, and this one shows the best of her.

her fondness, her motherly attitude, her jokes, and her pride towards pj. god i love toriel in this fic i LOVE TORIEL DREEMURR!!!!!!!!!!

i just think this is important. :p

"holy shit they said the thing"

i think title drops are funny lol

ANYWAY YEAH. i had a lot to say about it LOL. i love a home for two and i reread my fics a lot, and this one is the one i reread the most. im so so so proud of it.

[lovely-lotus]

Do you read much fanfic these days? So you have any current favorites (any fandom)?

I'm sorry for this very belated response!! I've been holding off because I wanted to make a whole rec list, and still plan to do so, but I thought I might as well just respond with a couple of fics I've been reading to make some progress. Getting started is better than nothing after all <3. As a heads up, this list contains many incomplete fics. I know a lot of people don't read incomplete fics but I often find the character dynamics, prose writing, and/or worldbuilding worthwhile and fascinating, even if the story isn't done yet. So, here are just a few stories I've been reading and why I recommend them. Note: This list is 18+. Please check out and mind the tags and ratings for every story.

aurora polaris by AGlassRoseNeverFades: Why I recommend it: This story is just gorgeous. Beautiful prose writing and a premise that'll just sink its hooks in you. I've reread this like 4 or 5 times at this point. I'm so obsessed with the bond Tom and Harry share in this story. If you want a lot of non-verbal (and verbal) intimacy, this story will be your cup of tea. In general, I love romance stories with lots of love. My favorite romances always make it abundantly clear how much two people love being together, so this story was just everything I ever wanted.

paved with the best intentions by ailora Why I recommend it: Cutest baby Tom ever!! I absolutely adore him so much. His and Harry's relationship makes me so soft. I think the author does an amazing job on the dialogue and on portraying baby Tom's perspective and how he feels about Harry. If you want a really cute story with a helping of angst and lots of tension, this is the one for you!

anemone by A_Single_Cactus Why I recommend it: I usually like Ginny. Tbh, she's not my favorite (the girl/boy-next-door type / best friend's sibling usually isn't for me), but I understand why she and Harry ended up together in the end (which is ofc all leading back to TMR again). However, I've recently been loving the trope of TMR coming up with some elaborate plan to steal Harry and this story kickstarted that completely. I really enjoyed the pacing of this story and it has such good reread value. I think the author is very good at conveying emotions.

hologhost by vash (hanamichi) Why I recommend it: Some of the most gorgeous prose writing I've ever had the pleasure of reading. Floaty and gossamer as a dream. This story reminds me of an impressionist painting with a faint undercurrent of panic through it all. I cannot wait to see where it goes.

Anything by mosiva. At this point, I will read any Tomarry that mosiva writes. Absolutely gripping, thrilling dynamics between them in all of their works.

the world is yours and mine by othernight Why I recommend: I'm slightly foggy on this story, but I have a really positive impression of it in my mind. I think I loved the worldbuilding and the burgeoning Tomarry dynamic. I also remember really liking Harry's characterization.

Thank you so much for your ask and I hope you find something new to read!! Sorry again for how late this response is.

[rwrbficrecs]

June Faves

It’s that time of the month again!! Here’s a few fics I read in June ✨ It’s a bit of a short list for June because I got sucked into a new ship *cough tarlos cough* – but we’re only halfway through this month and I already know July’s post is probably going to be pretty long! Hope you enjoy these as much as I did ❤️

Fall Into You by lucy_in_the_sky I’m a sucker for fics where Henry’s a nurse – combine that with hurt/comfort and I’m there. Alex is a tad clumsy and of course it’s Henry that’s having to deal with patching him up. Also a big fan of Nora’s characterization in this fic! I truly loved this fic so much – definitely one I’ll be coming back to a lot in the future. 

i'd lie by greenandmoss Wow this fic was amazing – I can’t describe how much I loved it. I really felt for Henry in this fic – at times I wanted to shake him so bad, but also I understood where he was coming from. This fic was so beautifully written and was one of those fics that had me thinking about it long after I'd finished 😌

pride is not the word i’m looking for by @livinginrhythm This fic made me realize we’re severely lacking in Leo content. I loved reading something from Leo’s POV and getting more of insight into his character! This is a lovely must read

group therapy by @stutteringpeach This one is hilarious – but it also made me want to sink deep into the ground from second-hand embarrassment. That didn’t stop me from rereading it at least 5 times though 😅

Tell Me All Your Secrets by @everwitch-magiks I have to admit I was apprehensive about reading a fic where Henry dates Liam 😂 but I love everything Evie writes so I knew I was going to love this story regardless of my initial feelings on Henry/Liam. Knowing that it’s Henry/Alex end game was reassuring though, and the progression to that point was very satisfying! (The pining!!) I loved how New York Prite was featured in this fic and seeing Henry & Alex attend was so lovely. 

The Spirit of Giving by @cha-melodius They're neighbours in this fic (which I'm always down for 😂) and I loved how Alex's competitive side really comes out in this! Also fair warning this fic will make you crave some good Mexican food 🥲

and then i was a careless fool (and i fell in love with you) by newmoonrising A canon divergence fic where Henry is still a Prince and Alex is still the First son but make it a Soulmate AU (with a touch of bed sharing)! As someone who loves soulmate fics I don't know how I hadn't discovered this gem sooner ❤️

you took the time to memorize me (my fears, my hopes, my dreams) by @coffeecatsme Alex is a tour guide and I love how their relationship develops even though there’s so much physical distance between them. I didn’t know it was possible but this fic made me hate Mary even more 😩

That's What You Get For Waking Up in Vegas by bleedingballroomfloor Exes to Lovers !! Getting back together!! (at this point I’m just shouting the tags but really this fic was great and you need to read it – also it’s set in Las Vegas c’mon as if that’s not reason enough)

let me take you in by @livinginrhythm This was such a funny story and I love when Henry gets himself into situations that are completely avoidable, but they lead him to Alex so can he really complain? Another story I loved so much I reread it many many times!

Are You Screwing With Me? by @rmd-writes Didn’t know I needed a Grindr meet-cute AU until I read this and it was perfect. While you’re at it, there’s two other stories in this series for two other fandoms !!

(all of me changed like) midnight rain by @coffeecatsme This fic really makes you feel for Alex – it deals with his parents divorce and just wow 🥺

The Sky is Open by @cha-melodius I am often in awe at some of the AU’s authors come up with to dump Henry & Alex in and this was one of them. Unexpected and a very delightful read!

midnight train going anywhere by greenandmoss Loved this fic – Henry & Alex meet on a midnight train and I don’t know what else to say about this fic without spoiling it, so just go read it!  

✨WIP✨

Every Star That's Ever Fallen Knows the Way to Where We're Going by @dracowillhearaboutthis I love Henry & Alex as childhood friends, so following this WIP was a no brainer. Having Arthur alive is also a lovely bonus ❤️

Little Matters by @pridepages I’m loving reading along as this fic gets updated! Henry is the guardian of his niece and it’s such a beautiful story so far 🥺

[nonsequitur22]

Fanfic Authors to reread

Here's a list of my favorite fanfic authors that write such masterpieces I'm left in awe. I have reread many, many of their stories because the writing is so good.

Astolat - I've read all of her Witcher and Transformer works at least seven times each, lol. The Game of Thrones stories are mind-bogglingly creative, and the Harry Potter works are the best I've ever read in the entire fandom ever. I love how quickly each story progresses and how immersive each world is, and I find that her stories are the ones my mind most often turns to and thinks about while I'm daydreaming.

spqr - phenomenal, breathtaking, single-chapter oneshots that slice into a fandom with such precision that you don't even have to know what the fandom is but you'll love it and feel like you've been a part of it for years. Masterful, exquisite, heartfelt stories that are like a solid jab to the solar plexus when you step into them.

betts - oh my gosh does this author know how messy emotions and relationships and life can be. She flays apart characters, sees what makes them who they are--all the flaws, mistakes, grief, bad parts of them--and shows exactly what it means to be human. I've never felt seen like this before. betts has a gift and each story is an absolute treasure.

glimmerglanger - this makes me want to cry. I've bookmarked every single one of their stories. Read many of them over and over and over. Screamed in elation when a new update came through. but - they're gone. Nuked. Obliterated. My heart goes to the author. This is a reminder to treat these writers better, to not nag or insult or complain about the writing they do for free. I sobbed when I found out their entire archive had been deleted. Those stories were breathtaking. Staggeringly creative. All Codywan fics set in such masterful worlds: the Mermaid AU, Magic AU, Yellowstone, Baseball, Time Travel, Captured by Vader and tortured, heck, even the Animal Crossing crack!fic was a blast to read. The rarepairs were so much fun, Just Right with Obi-Wan/Alpha 17 was a personal favorite. I hope glimmerglanger is doing ok and knows that they have so much support from dedicated fans.

objectlesson - alright this is my guilty pleasure. Here's who to go to if you want interesting, hot, probably out of your comfort zone but gosh darnit if it doesn't awaken something in you, smut. Never thought I'd read Doc/Lightning McQueen fanfic but here we are. This author knows exactly what's she's doing and I'm all for it.

goldcranes - Masterclass of intense focus on little details. On exactly which lens setting you use to set the scene, what to focus on, how to best portray what's happening to wrench on your reader's heartstrings and make them feel. Phenomenal writing.

esama - my first fandom crush :). Whispers in Corners is my #1 favorite fanfic of all time. She's who I turned to when I first started reading fanfic a decade ago and I still lovingly go back and read what I consider her greatest hits.

[idoodlestuffsometimes]

Brother's Keeper AU:

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How did Caleb live so long? How can he still be here after 400 years?

A: Belos wanted him to stick around and so he made it happen. As for specifics: *shrugs* your guess is as good as mine! This is something I've preferred to leave up to the readers. I will simply confirm that he isn't hiding any goop powers or OP palisman-given magical abilities. He is, for all intents and purposes, a regular human who is somehow really, really old.

Q: If Caleb is still alive, where did Hunter come from?

A: The full story here hasn't been told yet, but you may notice Caleb is missing quite a few bones...

Q: Caleb's ears are pointed! Did Belos cut them??

A: Correct

Q: Does Caleb know about the Collector/the basilisks/Belos' plans?

A: Probably! He's been Belos' sounding board for 400 years. Access to things that could "further corrupt him" or provide him a tool for escape, however, are off limits, so there are many things, like the Collector, that he's heard about but never seen for himself.

Q: Where's Flapjack/Amity/Darius/etc?

A: This is basically a canon divergence. If you haven't seen a particular character, it's safe to assume for now that they're up to whatever they were doing in canon.

Q: I don't get it. Why is Caleb insane?

A: I suggest you reread the first few story posts, my friend! You have fallen for Belos' lies.

Q: Do you have a posting schedule? When will the next part come out?

A: There is no posting schedule. I draw (mostly but not always) traditionally in my free time, for the fun of telling a cool story, and some posts are longer than others. That means the timing of the next post depends on how long it is, how much time I have, and whether or not I'm at home with access to my scanner. Sometimes this means I post quickly. Sometimes it means you'll see me next month. Sorry about that.

Just know that if I know there's going to be an extended wait, especially one where I'm not actively working on the next drawing, I will make an announcement about it. If you haven't seen an update in a while but I also haven't said anything, it's almost definitely because I'm actively chipping away at a part of the story that's taking me longer.

Q: Why do some of the story posts have a letter after the number? Are these less important than the regular story posts? Can I skip them?

A: No, I Do Not Recommend skipping them! They are just as important as the others. They have a letter on the end because they were added later and I use letters as a way to avoid renumbering everything. If you see story posts labeled something like "3, 3A, 4", they are meant to be read the same as you would if they were "3, 4, 5".

Q: Can I make art/fic/cosplay of this au?

A: Knock yourself out! If you post it somewhere, please include credit, but otherwise I don't mind, and actually love seeing what you do with it! If it's NSFW though, please keep it in appropriate spaces with proper warnings.

Q: Wait there's fic/fanart?? Can I see?

A: If you look through the tag on my blog "BK fridge gallery" you can browse any content shared with me that I've reblogged. :) People are free not to share it with me too though, and there are some I don't reblog, especially if its gorey or suggestive, so you might be able to find a bit more elsewhere under the Brother's Keeper AU name if you look for it.

You may also notice I have a featured tag called "BK Soundtrack." That's for songs that people have suggested to go with the AU. You are welcome to browse or suggest songs of your own ;)

Q: :( I sent an ask but you didn't answer. Did you get it?

A: Probably, yes. Sometimes it takes me a few days to get to it. However, if it was theorizing about future plot points, I may actually be holding onto it with plans to answer at a more appropriate time. I like to keep many of my plans for the story close to the chest, so don't be surprised if your theory ask disappears only to show up many months later when the story has progressed to a point where I can give you a more in depth answer.

[findmeabowlofundertale]

OKAY SO! After two likes and one comment of affirmation (from @benanazauce) — Here is that au I haven’t been able to shut up about!! The one with human Gaster and normal Asteri. I’m calling it the Double Dingsaster AU (you’ll see why). THIS IS WHY I HAVEN’T MADE ANY PROGRESS ON CHAPTER 10 UGGHHH

It’s very long. Like. So freaking long. Wish I could focus this well on writing my actual fic. Also I have not reread through since editing it. I just hit post. Oh and uh— warning for descriptions of eye/face injuries, I guess? Briefly?

So the premise is this: There’s a universe where Gaster and Asteri are humans living in (approximately) the modern day. They’re a bit younger than the canon versions of themselves, more like early/mid twenties and late twenties/early thirties, instead of like, ~32 and ~40. They are friends. Maybe even work in the same building (for some reason?). They’re sort of at that “we’re friends but maybe there’s something else too…?” stage but neither of them have acted on it. It’s all very tentative.

Human!Gaster, still being an engineer (among other things), ends up making this machine that, solely for plot convenience, connects with alternate universes. Long story short, for plot reasons, something happens and both human!Gaster and human!Asteri get transported to something approximate to the ⁂ universe. Idk how, or why, but they get separated. And both fall into the underground. I think they might have been separated before they even landed in the ⁂ universe, tbh. Idk.

Anyway, h!Asteri falls into the underground first. She is confused and distraught and doesn’t understand anything going on, and she thinks that her Gaster is either dead, still in the other universe, or somewhere in this universe but who knows where, and now she’s fallen into a cave and god she’s going to DIE because no one will ever find her here, least of all him, if he’s even here (and alive) at all!

Well. Obviously Toriel finds her. The whole thing. Asteri is INCREDIBLY alarmed at seeing a 7 foot goat dragon monster, and she’s not quick to trust. But c’mon. It’s Toriel. You can’t not like her. So she spends a little while there, gets the low-down. She really doesn’t want to go any farther into the cave, tbh. She wants to wait for rescue. But once she learns about the barrier and stuff, and that there IS no way out from where she fell in, well… yeah. So, she wants to find a way out. I feel like she’d explain to Toriel that this isn’t even the right universe, but I’m not sure how much Toriel would believe. Asteri wouldn’t blame her for not believing it. But she needs to get out. She has to find her way back home. If not to her own universe, then to some kind of human civilization. …Not that Toriel hasn’t been lovely! Honestly, though, Asteri is no scientist, she says. Her friend, who built the machine that brought her here, is probably dead or lost… (She starts crying. It’s not the first time she’s talked about h!Gaster, or grappled with the fact that she might never see him again, that he might be dead. But she doesn’t like to think about it if she can help it.)

Toriel hesitates, but tells her that she once knew a brilliant scientist. He might still be alive… but he lives at the other end of the underground. If he’s alive still, he might be able to help her. But it’s dangerous, there’s Asgore, etc etc. Asteri isn’t thrilled, but if the other monsters are like the ones here (Froggits, Whimsuns, etc) then… maybe it won’t be so bad. She asks about the scientist. What’s his name? What does he look like?

You can imagine how floored she is when Toriel tells her his name is Dr. Gaster.

But it gets her hopes up. There’s a Gaster in this universe. He could send her home. All she has to do is find him. Now she’s excited! But also curious. He isn’t human, right? If he’s underground? What does he look like? (She wonders if he’ll look strange, like a Loox, or if he’ll resemble her Gaster at all.) Toriel tells her: He is a skeleton.

Asteri is… a bit put-off, but still determined! (Heh, no, not like that.) She MUST find him. Maybe she even tells Toriel that in her universe, she and Gaster were friends. Not sure. Also not sure if Toriel would be extra hesitant to let her go given that Asteri is missing a hand, and the fingers on the hand she does have don’t always respond when she wants them to. Idk. But Asteri is very capable. And a grown woman, so… yeah. Also I I imagine she gets at least a scarf or something since she’s in a tank top.

So! Asteri leaves the Ruins and begins her trek through the underground to find this universe’s Gaster.

And she does! I don’t know if she even has to go all the way to Hotland. She might meet him when he’s visiting Grillby’s, or at the dump in Waterfall. I don’t know. But they do meet. (In this universe, Gaster has not met his Asteri, so there’s no confusion there.) She’s very thrown off because 1) Skeleton, 2) TALL, 3) how does his face move like that, and 4) he acts just like her Gaster. And god, it hurts. It’s like he’s there but he’s not. After the initial surprise on both of their parts, she explains her situation. He signs, (of course, she thinks, he’s just like her Gaster) and it’s similar enough to the sign language she’s familiar with that she can mostly understand. At first he’s hesitant to believe her, but the more she talks about it, he realizes that she’s absolutely telling the truth (rather than just being mistaken/confused/concussed.) So he agrees to help her. I don’t think she necessarily tells him that the “scientist friend” who sent her here was her version of him.

She stays with him (it’s safer that way), and he does what he can, but it sounds like her friend was far ahead technologically. He can only do so much without blueprints or any idea of the math that was used. Even if he built the machine, he explains, there are after all infinite universes, he could easily send her to the wrong one. She asks what the chances are that her friend is okay. Gaster tries to be gentle about it, but admits that without knowing more, he can’t really say for certain. Her friend could be stuck between universes, even. He doesn’t know. But he’s probably back in their universe! Working on a solution! He’s probably fine!!

Asteri is all but inconsolable. Her Gaster is probably dead, and even if he’s not, she knows deep down that she will never see him again. There’s no way home. She’s stuck here. And it’s not so bad, not really, but it’s not home, and all she has is a disconcertingly tall skeleton who is exactly like her friend but has none of the memories. But, after a grieving period, she starts to work on accepting it. And really, how can she not like this Gaster? He’s him. It comes so naturally that it would be more difficult to fight it than anything. He’s a little confused, I think, that she seems to know him so well, that she doesn’t misunderstand the things he expects her to— like she’s already accounted for his idiosyncrasies. But he just shakes it off and enjoys getting to know her. He has to come home regularly now, with someone else there— it would be rude to just leave her on her own when she has no one else to talk to, after all. He starts to actually listen to his followers assistants and take days off. He eats better— with little else to do, Asteri spends a lot of time cooking. And although he does do his best to find a way for her to go home, in the weeks that become months of living together, he starts to wish she didn’t have to go.

And actually, neither does she.

I’m sure that, over the months, Asteri has slowly been introduced to other monsters (Carlope, whatever local grocer, Grillby, probably even Alphys (who is beside herself with glee, ofc)). She gets accustomed to monster culture and the way things are here. And Asteri is… happy. She still misses home (god she misses the Mediterranean sun) and she still mourns human!Gaster, but for being stuck in an alternate universe, she’s doing pretty well. She has friends, and food, and several entirely new branches of linguistics to study, and a… a partner. They never really talked about it beyond “I will miss you when you go,” and “I’ll… really miss you, too. Maybe I don’t have to?” and the incredibly tender headbump that followed. But they kind of cuddle sometimes, and he looks at her Like That, and she’s crawled into his bed to talk him through nightmares, and sometimes they hold hands, and she isn’t sure but sometimes those headbumps really feel like they’re equivalent to kisses. So one day she kisses his cheekbone for real, to see what happens.

What happens is Gaster gets all glittery-eyed and stuff and they finally talk about their freaking feelings. Which are mutual.

And they’re happy.

MEANWHILE—

Human!Gaster is not dead. Nor is he stuck in some other universe, nor back home. No, he’s there too. But like I said in the beginning— they got separated. Probably some time-space shenanigans, where he doesn’t get spit out into this universe at the same point in time that Asteri did. He falls into the underground a few months later.

Toriel finds him, and he is actually a lot less alarmed by her than one would expect. He asks about Asteri, and, recognizing that this must be the friend Asteri mentioned, Toriel fills him in: Asteri left to look for a way home a few months ago, after Toriel told her about the royal scientist, Dr. Gaster. Human!Gaster is, obviously, flabbergasted that he has a counterpart here (fascinating implications, he thinks), but manages to keep it together pretty well. He convinces Toriel to let him out of the Ruins to track down human!Asteri. All things considered, he’s in the Ruins only a couple days maximum as opposed to human!Asteri’s having been there several days minimum. He figures that his Asteri probably went straight to this universe’s Gaster. If it’s been months, then he has to hurry.

Well. Things do NOT go as smoothly for him. Honestly, he gets the shortest end of the stick here. It goes SO badly.

Wouldn’t you know who’s in Snowdin studying Dog language, but this universe’s Asteri.

I would like to remind you that normal (monster) Asteri has some serious trauma about humans, and that she and this universe’s Gaster have never met. (Or, maybe they have, but only briefly. Idk.) From here, “Gaster” is gonna refer to human!Gaster, and “Asteri” is refer to regular, monster Asteri. Their counterparts aren’t in this (yet).

So. Human!Gaster runs into her somewhere in Snowdin forest. It goes extremely badly. He unknowingly and unintentionally initiates an encounter. She panics. He also panics. Asteri assumes he means to kill her, and goes all out with the bullet patterns. Gaster has never done this before and keeps getting whacked. He keeps trying to explain that he just wants directions and he’s doesn’t know what’s happening or how to stop it. Asteri is having none of it. She’s so locked into her fear response that reason just isn’t going to work. Gaster’s really taking a beating here, but he’s surprisingly sturdy. It’s only when one of her sharper bullets hits him square in the face and does some serious damage that he realizes he can flee. It hit him directly above his right eye and zipped all the way up into his hairline, and he’s bleeding. Eye/head injuries are… kind of a trigger for him, so when it hit, he started to really panic. The blood is what really scares him. He doesn’t know if it took out his whole eye or if it’s just that there’s so much blood streaming down his face that if feels like his eye got hit, but he can’t open it and he goes weak in the knees, almost collapses, but manages to flee the encounter upon realizing that this monster is not going to stop, and he runs into the forest as fast as he can with one hand clasped over the wound.

Asteri is pissed. She’s terrified, yes, but she also knows that a human his size could leave real carnage in his wake, and she’s not about to let a human take someone else’s parents from them— or worse yet, someone’s child. So she takes off after him. Now, she doesn’t do well in the cold, but she can also change her form at will (and she did, actually, as soon as the encounter started: she got all spiky). So she catches up to him. He’s ducked behind a tree and is curled in on himself trying to stop hyperventilating and get his head/eye to stop bleeding. (He’s unsuccessful on both counts.) When she catches up to him, it’s kind of an, “AHA! FOUND YOU!” Gaster reflexively curls up when she pulls her tail back (to hit him, presumably), and, thinking he’s going to die, cries out, “I’m sorry Asteri!”

Needless to say, she freezes. How the hell does he know her name, she demands. He’s confused. She’s angry. But fine, he wants to talk? Now she knows he can. She demands his hands. He tries to sign that he needs them, he’s bleeding, but she interrupts that she doesn’t care, give her his hands or else. He complies, and his head is still bleeding. She wraps his wrists together with her tail, and is careful not to touch any blood. She thinks it’s like, poison or something— some kind of human defense mechanism. She barks at him to stop oozing, or she’ll kill him right there, and frickin, poor Gaster, he’s so beat up, he doesn’t even know how to begin to explain that he can’t help it. It doesn’t go well. She drags him closer to town, but doesn’t turn him into the guard yet. She wants to know how he knows her name and what the hell he thinks he’s doing in the underground. He ends up on the ground, still restrained with her tail, still bleeding (and crying), while she demands answers.

The short of it is that Gaster manages to give some explanation that makes Asteri reconsider turning him in. He needs to talk to their royal scientist, huh? Well Dr. Gaster is a busy monster, what makes him think that he’s worth the time of someone that important? Human!Gaster tells her that his friend fell first, and she will be looking for the… royal scientist… as well. He needs to find her, needs to make sure she’s okay, so they can get back home somehow!

Asteri spits that his friend probably got captured by the royal guard already. She hasn’t heard anything about another human on the loose. King Asgore has probably already killed her.

Gaster goes completely unresponsive. Is his Asteri dead?? Is he too late? He never meant for her to get roped into this, it’s all his fault!

Not sure what all happens from here specifically, but these things happen:

Gaster realizes at some point here that this is this universe’s Asteri. He tells her that his friend is also named Asteri. She chalks it up to a very strange coincidence.

Gaster does not get medical treatment for his head/eye injury until Asteri is satisfied with his answers/explanations. That’s a pretty significant chunk of time given that he’s panicking, traumatized, bleeding profusely from a gash on his head, restrained on the ground in the snow with no coat, can’t sign, and struggles to speak aloud.

Asteri ends up deciding that she will allow him to look for his friend… but not without supervision. Can’t have two humans running around. The guard will just arrest him, so she takes it upon herself. She is still very afraid of him, but she wears her fear as anger and hostility.

Asteri continues to be unfamiliar with and highly suspicious of human anatomy, so she just kinda wraps his head up once she gets some supplies in town, and heals him the absolute bare minimum so he doesn’t die on her after he starts explaining hypothermia.

She makes it explicitly clear that if he ever tries ANYTHING, she will kill him. She realizes he seems genuinely afraid of her and uses that to her advantage.

They stay at the inn. Asteri procures some rope and informs Gaster that he will be sleeping restrained and on the floor. He’s too beat down to protest.

Asteri agrees to help him search Snowdin forest for his friend the following day. They don’t find anything. Gaster is still pretty weak and very rattled, and very much in pain. He wants to ask around, but Asteri adamantly refuses. The last thing they need is a panic going through the underground that a human is loose. She probably did tell the guards that there’s a human suspected to be running around, but it might have already been captured. But she doesn’t tell them about Gaster. Maybe. Idk exactly.

It doesn’t really matter. The important part is that once Gaster realizes this is Asteri, (and he’s recovered a little), he’s a lot less afraid of her and a lot more friendly. This really freaks Asteri out. She thinks it’s some ploy. If he’s not afraid of her, then she doesn’t have any leverage. So she keeps trying to crank up the intimidation, but Gaster just keeps responding with patience. It’s like the world’s most unproductive contest. They also end up staying at her place while searching Waterfall. He gets tied up a lot (at night), and Asteri is very short with him, very mean. And she’s extremely jumpy. She treats him like he’ll kill her if she turns her back on him. He can’t do anything unless she’s watching like a hawk.

He pushes about meeting the royal scientist, but Asteri 1) has no idea how to really get ahold of him, and 2) isn’t sure she WANTS a human meeting someone that important. Meanwhile, he’s been trying to tell her about how he’s from an alternate universe and just wants to go home, and all of what happened. Asteri doesn’t believe him, but mockingly asks how he even knows his friend is here at all. Maybe she got tossed in some other world, or died in space. After all, like she said, there’s been no reports of another human. And that’s a pretty big deal, actually, so… his friend is either dead, or really good at hiding and going to be dead soon. Gaster doesn’t like that she has a point, it troubles him that his Asteri might not even be here, but… he’s almost sure that she is. She has to be. Asteri (still mockingly) suggests his friend already met the royal scientist and went home without him.

Now, Gaster knows his Asteri, and it absolutely helps him navigate this version of her. He knows that she gets angry when she’s afraid, and that’s all this is. It has to be trauma. It hurts, but she’s acting like this because she’s scared. That’s all. It isn’t personal. But as time goes on, and they aren’t making any progress in finding his Asteri, he starts to get discouraged. This Asteri has… slightly relaxed around him. She doesn’t keep his hands tied when they go out, for one. By now that gash on his face has healed and scarred— it wasn’t too bad, but it didn’t get treated properly. He probably needed stitches, tbh. Days become weeks, and then a month, then two. (They do search Hotland at one point, which is an entire trip since it’s not worth walking back and forth to her house every night. It’s miserable, hot, and Gaster still gets tied to something at night. They don’t find anything.)

After spending more or less every single day together, Asteri has gone from “constant high alert” to “if you startle me I’ll tackle you, but you can walk around the house I guess.” (NOT her room though.) And she has absolutely tackled him, fangs bared, for accidentally sneaking up on her because he was walking too quietly. He’s not allowed in the kitchen (because knives) unless she’s there and he asks, and he’s absolutely not allowed to touch her, ever— but she can touch him. That’s less of something they agreed on and more of a stipulation for not being mauled. Gaster is, naturally, quite miserable like this, but he understands. She’s just afraid, he reminds himself.

So, this is where there’s kind of a split in my brain about how I want this to go. I’ve played out two versions of this, and they’re both just different flavors of angst. One is more based in the characters’ mental states and trauma, and one is more based in drama. Both are good, honestly, I just can’t decide which one I want. And this is how I keep getting AUs of AUs. Right now I’m editing this draft, and there’s a ton of stuff below this, which is from the original take: the trauma-based angst. It’s heavier because it touches on more elements of how someone who has been hurt can hurt others. It’s not simple, it’s not black and white, and I did/do worry that it might come across as romanticization of unhealthy relationships, which it is not intended to be. I mean granted it’s also not written to be groundbreaking or anything, it’s just. Something I made up in my head. That’s tricky because I know the intentions and nuances, even when I don’t/can’t quite convey them in writing. This is mostly me writing for myself, and using fiction as a means to work through some similar stuff that I deal with, but still, I worry how it might come across without like. Full access to my brain.

So uh! I’m gonna write out the other version of events I came up with after this first, then maybe include the original version.

Alright so. Human!Gaster’s with ⁂!Asteri. She takes a long time to warm up to him at all, and it’s very slow, but there’s really no pretending, after a point (like three or so months), that he’s literally any kind of threat. But Asteri doesn’t accept this consciously. No, no, he’s a human, he’s dangerous, etc etc. So she keeps up the antics. I want you to think of that character who’s like, an antagonist/bad guy, but if they actually killed the hero they’d be devastated. Or the villain who has to team up with the protagonist(s) and keeps acting like they hate them but definitely doesn’t. And it’s just kind of understood but never talked about. The kind of character who’s like, “well obviously I can’t kill you right now, we have a truce. I may be evil but I have standards.” Or “yes well. This plan wasn’t even one of my better ones. If I captured them now I can’t show off my REALLY good scheme next week that shows how evil I REALLY am. So. In the spirit of evil, I’ll have to pass.” Or, the one who threatens everyone constantly and doesn’t want to partake in your stupid celebration because we’re MORTAL ENEMIES and they HATE YOU WITH A PASSION THAT WILL NEVER DIE AS LONG AS THE SUN BU— Oh you brought them a plate of cake? Oh… well. Maybe they can have some. Because you were FOOLISH enough to approach them. …Oh that’s pretty good. BUT THIS DOESN’T MEAN THEY LIKE YOU!

Even if you toned that type of character down to just brooding and irritable rather than dramatic, that’s kind of what Asteri ends up having going on. She still threatens to kill him, but she does it without getting up from the couch, that type of thing. She tries very hard not to let him grow on her. She refuses to laugh at his stupid jokes (but sometimes she accidentally lets a smile slip), she still locks him in his a spare room at night, she still insists he’s too dangerous to let leave the house alone. Don’t be mistaken— she is still somewhat afraid of him, simply by virtue of what he could do. But he’s always pleasant, and he never tries anything (goodness knows he’s had countless opportunities to “escape”; he’s very much there willingly), and he always gives her that same knowing, sad smile. It used to infuriate her, now it just makes her feel something she doesn’t understand. They never talk about it, but she makes coffee in the morning more often even though she rarely drinks it (she likes the smell is all), and she’s sewed his clothes (it looks more suspicious of he’s going around in torn up clothes, that’s all), and she finally let him shave his face (the beard was just too much for her, it’s not because he wanted to shave). Still, she keeps up with “you’re a threat” and “I’m sure you’re just waiting to kill because that’s what humans do” and the like.

She doesn’t take him out searching for his friend as often as she knows he would like (too conspicuous), but come on. His friend is almost certainly dead by now. Or not here at all. If there had been a human, surely the whole underground would know by now, right? Getting a third human SOUL would be a big deal.

It’s that thought that makes her stomach twist. She has a human. But! It’s not like he’s getting loose! It doesn’t matter when he dies, as long as it happens eventually! It’s not like four other humans are suddenly going to fall down here and die before he does— there’s no rush! Right? Right. And she’s keeping an eye on him. It’s fine.

(She can’t let herself think about any of it too hard or too long because she quickly runs out of ways to justify any of this.)

But, she still takes him out “searching,” though never in New Home. (“Do you WANT to be arrested?”) It’s not difficult to see the hope beginning to fade from his eyes. (Every so often, she CHECKs him, and although it had previously never faltered, one day he has just one or two less HP.) He doesn’t act much different, but sometimes, just for a moment, he almost looks hurt when the same old insults roll off her tongue out of habit. She tries not to think about it.

Then, one day (it’s been about, idk, three and half months?), they’re out walking in Waterfall. They run into what I assume to be a Royal Guard. RG recognizes Gaster as a human, it’s very chaotic. I don’t remember exactly how I had this play out in my head but they fling bullets toward him and start an encounter before Asteri can do much of anything besides protest verbally. Now, Gaster hasn’t been in an encounter since he first met normal!Asteri (and that went b a d l y), so he’s kind of freaking out. It’s made worse when the guard gets frustrated that Asteri is trying to convince them to stop, and sends bullets faster, and one slams into Gaster’s face. It collides just above his mouth, the force of it tilts his head back, and it flies all the way up his cheek and across his eye, cutting his bottom eyelid. Haven’t decided if this just happens, or if it’s because Asteri tried to get involved and he pushed her out of the way of the bullets (because he has no idea how normal encounters are for monsters, or how much HP she has, he just doesn’t want her to hey hurt). Well, needless to say, having his face torn open, he drops immediately. Now, I mentioned before that face and eye injuries are a trigger for him, so if he was freaking out before, he’s straight up panicking now. He’s on the ground, clutching his face, eye filled with blood, unresponsive.

Asteri gets mad.

Oh, she loses it.

If she wasn’t there already, she slides in front of him, wings flared, tail ready to whip out in front of her, teeth bared, looking very spiky. You know how people will draw the skeletons putting up a fence of bone bullets like a shield? She does something like that, but they’re exclamation points. They manifest when she yells at the guard. She has to be careful about how she uses her turns, though, because she can’t tell how badly Gaster is hurt yet, just that he’s crumpled and not good. The fence is her turn (>Defend). She and the guard yell back and forth, while she dodges their bullets, about him being a human. Asteri doesn’t have a very good defense, but does insist that he’s not going to hurt anyone, and that she’s the one keeping an eye on him. She uses her next turn to try to talk to Gaster. He’s conscious, but hyperventilating and obviously in a lot of pain. He doesn’t really respond to anything Asteri asks, which just worries her more. She tries to talk to the guard through their turn, but the guard is angry and won’t concede any point. They send orange bullets at Asteri, which are easy enough; she just moves back and forth through them. But she’s defending Gaster, and orange bullets don’t dissipate unless they do damage, so although they move through her, they keep going. The guard is smug about it. Asteri realizes just in the nick of time and manages to whip her tail between the bullets and Gaster. She tanks the damage (it’s just magical, it hurts but it’s fine), and glares at the guard. That’s it. She wanted this to end quickly, and it’s already her third turn. That’s enough.

She casts purple magic (rings) and traps the guard, has a moment of glowering intimidation, and manages to end the encounter. The guard freaks out that they’re still trapped even though the encounter ended. Asteri carefully scoops up Gaster and goes to leave, with the guard shouting after her. (“You’re just going to leave me like this!?” “It’ll wear off.”) Once they’re around a corner she turns into something that can move much faster and zips home. Gaster had explained quite a lot about humans by then (such as the fact that blood isn’t poison, but it does belong inside the body, and losing too much can kill them; or that open wounds can get infected because of… something or other), but there’s still a lot she doesn’t know. She slams the door open, runs into the kitchen, yanks the table closer, shoves everything off of it, sets him down but keeps him propped up with a wing, boils water with fire magic, pours it over a dish rag (then runs it under colder water— she does remember that humans are susceptible to heat), and tries to wipe blood away so she can see what she’s dealing with. Gaster is still panicked and his eyes are screwed shut and he won’t let her move his hand away so she can help. She tries to talk him through it but he’s not exactly reasonable right now and so she ends up having to straddle him so she can hold his hands down. Which does not help his panic. But she manages to wipe enough blood away to see the gash: it’s pretty thin lower down, surprisingly; the worst of it is his eyelid. But his mouth is full of blood and his eye is full of blood and he’s panicked and sobbing and the blood just keeps coming, god, why won’t it stop? She tries to get him to summon his SOUL so she can heal him, but he doesn’t understand, and she’s freaking out, so she’s like, “I’m just gonna pour green magic into the wound okay?”

She starts to, and he calms down a little bit as his eyelid heals, but as the healing works its way down he suddenly cries out in pain and starts struggling again, trying to get his arm free. He manages to say, “Wait, stop!” so Asteri does, and figures it’s probably okay to let him go… When she does, he reaches up into his mouth, whimpers, and then yanks a tooth out. She’s like “AAAAA????” and there’s a quick, not exactly comprehensible exchange about putting it back, but Gaster still isn’t entirely with it, so Asteri finishes healing him best she can.

One thing I haven’t gotten to include in the actual fic yet is how shapeshifters can mimic some forms perfectly but others only superficially, and a lot of it has to do with touching. It’s unconscious, usually, but they get something like a biological and magical “scan” of a being. If it’s a large being, it might require conscious effort, and multiple “scans” of different areas, especially if they’re very complex. So in this case, Asteri doesn’t understand why Gaster was suddenly in pain until she took a second to focus on how his head works (since she was touching him), and realized that she was trying to heal a loose tooth back into place when it was already separated from his skull. (Yes she doesn’t have a “HUMANS HAVE BONES!?!?” moment internally, but she doesn’t really have time to think about it.)

Once his face is healed, he’s calmed down somewhat. She gets some of the cooled water, turns his head, apologizes, and pours it over his eyes. He flails, but it successfully flushes the rest of the blood out of his eye. Now, for most of this, Asteri has been half or all the way on the table with Gaster, either leaning over him, keeping him propped up on her lap, or bent around him in some weird position that allowed her to help. Right now, she’s got him cradled in her wings while she finishes wiping blood off his face. He’s more or less calmed down by now. She hasn’t really stopped talking to him this entire time. She’s mumbling something or other while she gives him another look over and wipes his face off. He opens his eyes, a bit, to watch her. When she realizes he’s looking at her (he looks exhausted), and he’s smiling a little, and he’s got some… some look in his eyes, she gets flustered.

“What? What the hell are you smiling about‽”

And he moves his hands up to sign.

“You care.”

She almost drops him on the table, but he’s still hurt. So she sputters and scoffs and wipes at him a little harder than strictly necessary,

“I do not! You’re a human, and I’m a monster, and there will never—”

As she was working her way down his face with the washcloth, she had reached his jaw. And, never breaking eye contact, Gaster cranes his head back, baring his throat. The gesture completely halts whatever Asteri was about to say. She just stares down at him for a moment. At his throat, in this vulnerable state, where she is in complete and total control, where her tail is gripping a washcloth and could wrap around his neck before he would have time to shout. And she’s frozen. She meets his eyes, and immediately looks away because how can he look at her like that, and her jaw clacks shut. Whatever she was going to say died in her throat. She tentatively returns to wiping the blood away. It’s all down his neck, from crying while his mouth was full of blood, and his shirt is spattered with it too. Not to mention soaked with water.

When she looks back up at him, his eyes are closed. He’s starting to fall asleep. She shakes him (gently), worried that he’s dying or something. He wakes up enough to loosely sign that no he’s not dying, or… falling down, whatever that means? Humans take a lot of energy to heal, and she just made him heal really fast, so he’s just tired.

Oh. Well. If he’s going to sleep, then… he shouldn’t be in a wet shirt. Give it to her and she’ll wash the blood off. Gaster raises an eyebrow but unbuttons it— well, he tries, but he can barely stay awake, so Asteri ends up doing it and then peeling it off him. He mumbles something about blood stains and cold water and vinegar. Asteri just throws his shirt in the sink and leaves it for tomorrow. She’s so unfamiliar with how he… works, so she wants to keep an eye on him. Plus he needs a new shirt. So she carries him to her room and sets him on the bed, then roots around for a shirt he can put on. (He could have walked, he mumbles; she throws back that he’d fall over if he tried to stand.) He smiles at her when she pulls a shirt over his head, careful not to let it press on the bad side of his face, and it makes her want to run away.

She just wants to keep an eye on him! He’s in no condition to be left unattended!

He doesn’t argue, but he does thank her.

She spends the evening sitting there staring at him and occasionally trying to heal the scar that’s left. It’s not nearly as bad as the other one, but it’s still there. It’s hard to look at the one on his right side, because she did that to him. After today, all she can see is him lying there bleeding in the snow, hands tied, bawling, begging her. Or him falling to his knees when that bullet hit him, hand flying to his face, and that expression of immediate terror. His attempts to clarify that he was just looking for help. His apologies, even though all he had done was run into her. He was scared.

And she saw it again today. Terror. He… He doesn’t want to hurt anyone, who is she kidding?

The rest of the night is similarly reflective, and the guilt builds up in her like a poison gas.

(At some point the next day she asks him about his tooth. It hasn’t turned to dust yet, so they can probably put it back now that he’s awake. Right? This leads to a whole discussion of “what do you mean “turned to dust?” and Asteri’s subsequent horror after his explanation that human body parts don’t disintegrate when they’re severed/dead. They just. Keep existing. But they’re dead now. She is horrified by his dead tooth just sitting there on her table.

Also, in the morning, after he wakes up and realizes he’s in her room (and they briefly acknowledge that), he ends up seeing a picture of her and her parents on the wall (which is something I have written into ch 10 but it’s not finished yet AUGH) and she solemnly explains what happened to them and why she feels so strongly about humans.)

AND THEN AFTER ALL THAT—

Things don’t change much.

Asteri knows she cares but she doesn’t want to because she’s not supposed to. She knows Gaster’s harmless but if she accepts that then she has to confront her entire opinion of humans. She knows she was wrong to be so mean to him but if she acknowledges that then their dynamic will change and it would be so much easier to just pretend nothing is different, to just let everything be unspoken.

But now that she’s had to think about it, she can’t go back to willful ignorance. There’s no avoiding it, it’s already there. But hell if she isn’t going to try to keep avoiding it anyway. Even though things feel nicer between them, even though sometimes she smiles back at him a little, even though it feels like they could almost be… friends— No. No. She can’t. (And especially not with this poison that’s eating her up.)

He’s somehow more subdued, though. And yet more frayed at the edges. The facts that he hasn’t heard or seen anything of human!Asteri, and there’s seemingly no way to find this universe’s version of him because in this universe, Asteri doesn’t know him, really begin to weigh on him. He’s never finding his Asteri. He’s never getting home. He’s going to be stuck with a someone who’s so like her, who he keeps almost connecting with, but who keeps shutting him down because she’s afraid. The next day after he got hurt, he wanted to go looking for his friend again. Asteri told him no, it would be too dangerous after getting on that guard’s bad side. Waterfall will be swarming now that he’s been reported. Still, within the week, he’s convinced her to take him looking through some caves they haven’t been through yet. And on the way there, wouldn’t you know who they run into: Themselves.

Human!Gaster and normal!Asteri meet normal!Gaster and human!Asteri.

(I was going to have it be ⁂!Gaster and ⁂!Asteri, but the thing is that they aren’t quite the same as they are in the fic (i.e. Asteri knows how to use purple magic on purpose). So they’re just “normal” because they’re still monsters.)

Human!Gaster spots her first and calls out to her. (Normal!Asteri is like ???). In turn, human!Asteri, upon turning and seeing him, lets go of normal!Gaster’s hand and calls out too. They run toward each other, teary-eyed, and hug. There’s a lot of talking over each other. “You’re alive!” and “How are you here?” and “I thought I’d never see you again!” It’s very… tender. Very familiar. Both monster versions are stunned and can’t do much best watch. Normal!Asteri has this pit in her gut, like her heart dropped into her stomach, and she doesn’t know why. Normal!Gaster has a similar feeling, but he knows exactly why: human!Asteri never told him that the friend she had been looking for was him.

It’s extremely chaotic. Normal!Asteri is overwhelmed by the facts that there are two humans, human!Gaster’s friend is alive, his name is actually Gaster (she thought he made that up but she couldn’t think of anything better to call him so she played along) And. The goddamn royal scientist, who she’s pretty sure fought in the war, is walking around with this one human. And they were holding hands?? There’s a lot for everyone to take in. So normal!Gaster (who has put his own internal relationship crisis on hold), says that he and human!Asteri were going to go “camping” (under the “stars”) so maybe they should all sit down at their campsite and work this out.

They do so. Normal!Gaster confirms for normal!Asteri that yes, these really are versions of them from an alternate universe where they’re human. (Normal!Asteri feels like she got hit by a truck but doesn’t have the opportunity to come anywhere near processing that. Human!Asteri is PSYCHED about this and really wants to meet this version of herself, but there’s too much going on to do that right now.) The humans compare how long they’ve been here: Gaster’s four months to Asteri’s “at least nine, maybe closer to a year?” Then start with her side since she’s been here longer. She explains how she found this Gaster pretty quickly, and she’s been staying with him. She also tells, somewhat uneasily, how, upon going over some of the events, this Gaster explained that it was unlikely that her friend (human!Gaster) would have ended up in the same place, or even the same universe. If he was transported at all. Normal!Gaster adds onto this that he also realized there was likely no way to send her back home. Human!Gaster agrees that these are reasonable conclusions. Human!Asteri then, very awkwardly, explains to him that she mourned him; she thought she would never see him again, or that he had died, and she knew she would never get home. And so… since… she’s been here… It’s just, she realized that she was happy here! It— It just came so naturally…!

She’s awkwardly gesturing to normal!Gaster while she talks. Human!Gaster doesn’t get it at first, but then it dawns on him. Oh. “You’re together.”

She nods. Normal!Gaster, who is sitting beside her, adds, “Although you never told me that the friend you wanted to find was me.”

This is super awkward for everyone present, and the two humans have to explain that they were never together. They… well, they might have gotten there, eventually, if they hadn’t gotten separated, but they never actually…

And human!Asteri is frantically trying to smooth it over with normal!Gaster, but he’s not about to have that crisis in full until later. There are things that need to be addressed. (But good lord, the tension and awkwardness between him and human!Asteri could be cut with a knife.) So tells her they can work it out later on, after the other issues have been addressed. (This is the equivalent of “we need to talk later” and she is so anxious she feels like she’s going to throw up.)

Human!Gaster is very supportive, but you can bet he’s dying inside. He can’t quite keep the pain out of his eyes but he’s trying so hard. Asteri is happy. That’s all that matters. Yes, it hurts, but he was never entitled to her affection. Alright, yes, it hurts worse that it’s literally an alternate version of him, but he completely understands why it happened. Outwardly, he’s still smiling as pleasantly as possible (and it looks fine, unless you know him well, like human!Asteri, who is now cringing even harder because she’s managed to upset both Gasters.)

Normal!Asteri is just sitting there taking it all in. She’s at a loss for a number of reasons. How could the Royal Scientist of all people shelter a human!? How is this okay!? Also, alternate universes!?!? What?? She’s… she’s had the human version of the Royal Scientist in her house for almost four months!? And that’s the human version of her!? All of it is real. Every time human!Gaster talked about an alternate universe where they were friends. She thought he was making that up, or that it was some bizarre human joke. But no, she’s actually had the human version of the freaking royal scientist in her house and oh god she beat him up when they first met.

Human!Asteri does indeed ask human!Gaster what the hell happened to his face. Normal!Asteri’s stomach does a triple axle. He just says that he had some trouble, he is very clumsy you know, and laughs it off. Normal!Asteri feels even worse because he’s protecting her and she absolutely doesn’t deserve it, and the worst part is that he’s smiling so genuinely at human!Asteri (who clearly doesn’t believe him but isn’t going to push it right now.)

They all do take some time to talk to their counterparts. Human!Asteri is excited to meet normal!Asteri. It is not mutual, but they work it out. It’s pretty immediately obvious to normal!Asteri once they start talking that her human counterpart really is just like her (if a little less jaded). Once backstory and specifics of character and preferences come up, it’s basically irrefutable. And honestly, normal!Asteri knows, deep down, that there’s no threat. She relaxes somewhat, but she can’t stifle the guilt when she hears this other version of herself talk about human!Gaster so fondly, knowing ‘I hurt him.’

Meanwhile, normal!Gaster kind of understands why human!Gaster is upset (and trying not to be). Human!Gaster understands why normal!Gaster is upset. They talk about it. Human!Gaster tells his counterpart that he and human!Asteri were just friends. It… felt like it might have grown into something else, it felt right at that threshold, but… obviously nothing came of it. He sort of steels himself and takes a deep breath and pats normal!Gaster and tells him that his Asteri is nothing if not loyal. “If she loves you, then it’s not because she loves me,” he tells him. That does help. Normal!Gaster asks if human!Gaster and normal!Asteri have hit it off, then. Human!Gaster wiggles his hand in the air. Sort of? He explains that she’s just afraid, and hurt. He worried at one point that she might really hate him, but he knows now that she doesn’t. She’s just… unsure. But he knows his Asteri, and how she gets mean when she’s scared or hurt, and that’s all it is. She still cares. He knows it. She’ll work through it. Normal!Gaster is understandably concerned about how that sounds, but human!Gaster chuckles and assures him that he’s in no danger, physically or emotionally. It’s not like that.

They all end up staying together (they get another tent) for the night, and then the next day, to clear everything leftover up. Human!Asteri and normal!Gaster have a long talk in private about why she never told him who her “scientist friend” was. He’s upset, and asks if he was just a stand-in for who she thought she lost?. She assures him that no, that is absolutely not the case. The reason she never brought it up was because it hurt to think about human!Gaster, at first, and it was hard to mourn him when someone so similar was right there— it was easier to just fall back into friendship with someone who she already sort of knew, and learn it all over, learn the differences, and… fall in love with them. Alright, yes, at first, she saw only the similarities, but she didn’t see him as a replacement. From the beginning, she saw her friend. Just in a different form. But she didn’t fall for her friend, out there in the other tent. She fell for him, here, in front of her. And she has no intention of leaving.

He appreciates this, and understands the complexities of the situation being a factor. But she’s very reassuring that she loves him.

So they’re all cute and stuff.

Meanwhile in the other tent, human!Gaster has tucked himself all the way into a sleeping bag, facing the tent wall, in an attempt to have some degree of privacy while he has a small breakdown. His Asteri is alive. She’s safe. She’s happy.

Without him.

Yes, but that never mattered, did it? He just wanted her to be okay. This is more than he could have hoped. He should be happy for her. And he is!! But it still hurts. Stars, it hurts so much more than he ever thought. What is left for him? The last several months he’s been focused on finding her, and gaining the trust of this universe’s Asteri, but he never considered what he would do when he found his Asteri. It’s true that it’s unlikely they will ever be able to go home. She wouldn’t want to anyway; she’s happy here. And he doesn’t want to live a life without her in it. He’d stay too, of course he will, even just to see her sometimes.

But that’s not viable either. The guards know him now. If this alternate version of himself has kept Asteri safe this long (and was willing to bring her to Waterfall despite the guards??) then she’ll be okay. But there isn’t much hope for him. This universe’s Asteri that he has been staying with might have grown to tolerate him, but now that she doesn’t have to worry about another human running around, what’s stopping her from turning him in? He wasn’t able to truly befriend her.

He’s broken-hearted and he’s got no hope for the future. He’s not doing so hot.

Meanwhile, also sitting in the same tent, is normal!Asteri, who is just. awkwardly existing there and trying to pretend she can’t hear him sniffle every so often. He probably needs some privacy, but where the heck is she going to sleep then?? In the tent with those two lovebirds?? Absolutely not. Gross. It’s weird enough that they’re just an alternate version of them. (Which has all kinds of implications she isn’t ready to address.) No, she’ll tough it out in here, thanks.

But she does feel bad. She saw the way human!Gaster looked at human!Asteri. She could see the light in his eyes die when human!Asteri told him she was with normal!Gaster. God, that must suck. He’s harmless, he’s heartbroken, he’s trapped here, and the only person he knows has already made a life for herself. She doesn’t really want to comfort him, but the guilt of everything has been eating away at her since earlier this week when they met that guard, and there’s just no escaping it anymore, and god it’s the least she could do.

So she reaches over with her tail and kind of. awkwardly pats where she thinks his shoulder probably is in the sleeping bag. He startles a little, but then rolls over and, head still tucked down inside, sticks his arms up through the head hole and offers her his wrists. It takes her a second, but then she’s like, “What? No! I’m not— I’m not tying your wrists! I’m trying to be nice to you!”

This is met with some confusion, and he pulls his arms back inside, then shuffles around until he can poke his head out, and he has the most pathetic, kicked-puppy-looking brown eyes. She would laugh if she didn’t feel so bad for him. Especially because he looks genuinely confused, and that really throws her off. Before, he’s always looked so confident that she would be kind to him; he always acted like he knew all along she would choose to do something nice. Not in a smug way, he just always acted like he was so assured of her character that he never doubted. But right now, he looks genuinely confused and unsure. And that hurts in a way Asteri doesn’t expect. She didn’t think that she cared about what he thought of her, or whether he trusted her. (Except she knew that wasn’t true from when he bared his throat to her, she just didn’t let herself think about it.)

And so her heart melts when he looks up at her, and she’s suddenly at a loss again. She was going to try to be gruff but encouraging, but he looks so… small.

She drapes her tail over him and turns to face him better. She tells him that hey, it’s… it’s not the end of the world to get your heart broken. That other Asteri definitely still cares about him. He’ll find so—

She has to cut herself off because no, he won’t find someone else. This is the underground, and he’s a human. It hits her, then. That kind of is the end of the world, for him. He’s got no one.

He gets his arms out of the sleeping bag and signs despondently, “There is no one else. And besides that, it is only a matter of time before I am arrested. He has kept her safe, so I am…” There’s a pause, and he blinks away the way his eyes sting. “…A loose end.”

Well. Normal!Asteri is having none of that. They end up having a discussion about the outlook of things, and she tries to cheer him up a little. (The matter of normal!Gaster’s position making it easier for him to protect human!Asteri comes up at one point.) Eventually the conversation forces normal!Asteri to both acknowledge and admit aloud that she has no intention of handing human!Gaster over. He’s… He’s harmless. There’s no reason to let him be killed.

This surprises him, but he is relieved. He admits that he didn’t thinks she cared that much. Or, rather, that she wouldn’t allow herself to. This brings a more serious tone to the conversation. Asteri works up to apologizing. For everything. But especially for how she treated him in the beginning. Gaster keeps trying to explain it away— She is traumatized, he startled her, she was acting out of fear, etc. They go back and forth. Finally she slaps her wings down on the blankets and huffs, “This isn’t about me! You’re the victim!”

He argues, “You were a victim too.”

She goes through a face journey as the guilt and remorse all swirl and come to a head and brings tears burning at her eye sockets. “But that doesn’t give me the right… to hurt someone who was begging for mercy!”

And it’s quiet. He looks down at his hand, then touches the scar over his right eye. “No,” he murmurs. “It doesn’t.”

The silence is heavy.

“I’m sorry… that I hurt you,” she says finally, and it comes trembling from her SOUL. “I was afraid. But that doesn’t make it okay. Right from the get-go, you tried to explain yourself, and I remember you were so…scared. You were hurt, and I didn’t help you. It was like some messed up power trip. And— And I’ve been fighting it for weeks now, months maybe, the obvious truth that you didn’t deserve any of this, that I was so, so wrong. But it felt too painful to accept, except now, I’ve been forced to accept it, and it’s even worse! I could have spared you more pain if I had just been willing to endure some myself. I wish I could undo it so bad, but I can’t. I didn’t want to have to change, I wanted to just let it stay unspoken, so we could just exist like that and I could pretend I didn’t like you so I never had to address why it made me so uncomfortable! But now it’s worse and now we’re both sad! If I had just confronted it, and said I was wrong, maybe I could’ve… We coulda…”

She can’t bring herself to say “maybe we could have been friends.” Instead she swallows to compose herself and then says, “I’ll keep you from the guards. I’m… I’m so sorry. I know none of this fixes anything, but anything I’ve done to you… you can do to me. It’s only fair.”

He doesn’t say anything until she looks up. She can’t read his expression. “Anything?”

She gulps, but nods.

His expression softens a little. “Can I make a request instead?”

She isn’t sure what to expect, but nods again. “Sure.”

The intensity in him looks like he’s trying to hold back a flood with his eyes. His hesitation feels like it might shatter the earth. Finally he relieves her, and when he signs she doesn’t even know how to describe the broken hope in his expression. It’s like staring into a hole and seeing a few shards of stained glass at the bottom. “Can we start over?” His eyes water. “Could you see me as someone you might become friends with, one day?”

It’s everything she realized she wants, and everything she doesn’t deserve, so the question feels like being knocked over by a wave. Like she hadn’t already cried enough while apologizing to him, this brings her to tears all over again. “I don’t deserve that,” she whispers.

“As the one being apologized to, I think that I get to decide that.”

It’s… a joke. Almost. It’s lighthearted. How can he be lighthearted at a time like this?? How can he smile at her when he still looks so sad underneath it? She doesn’t know what to make of it. But she does know that if she’s going to keep him safe from the guards, it would be nice if… if they could, despite everything, be friends. She laughs, just a quiet, disbelieving sound through tears, and nods. “I’d like that a lot better than this,” she admits.

He smiles, and this time it looks real, but then he gets serious again. Hesitant, maybe. “Are you still adverse to being touched?”

“No.” She sniffles and shakes her head. “You can do whatever you want. I don’t—”

His hug knocks the wind out of her. Not because it’s especially forceful— in fact it’s quite gentle— but because it’s unexpected, and desperate.

“G-Good, becaaause I reallyyy n-need oooone of th-these.”

It takes a couple seconds, but she hugs him back. It’s funny, how small he feels. It’s funny how he’s still so much more powerful than her simply by virtue of being human.

It’s funny how much she doesn’t care anymore.

(They talk later about how she can’t replace the person he actually cares about. He tells her that he doesn’t want her to. He just wants to be friends. That’s enough for her.)

The next morning is full of more clarifications. Normal!Asteri, relieved from the cathartic conversation (and sob session) with human!Gaster last night, is more at ease. She watches how human!Asteri and normal!Gaster interact, and it’s so strange, because she can absolutely see that they are the same people as herself and human!Gaster, but they’re so… in love?? Even when they aren’t really doing anything. They aren’t blatant about it, but it’s just so clear in everything they do. It’s like it rolls off of them and seeps into the air. She hasn’t had much chance to speak with normal!Gaster (partly because she was intimidated by the whole “royal scientist” thing), but watching him now, she realizes no, he’s just goofy, it’s fine. But it does make her wonder about human!Gaster. What would he look like, this happy? What would he be like if he had the resources that this Gaster does? It’s strange.

At one point she ends up talking with human!Asteri while they make coffee over the fire. It starts pretty friendly, but human!Asteri almost beats the crap out of normal!Asteri when she finds out that she’s responsible for the scar over human!Gaster’s right eye. Both Gasters have to intervene (possibly with blue magic). Fortunately human!Asteri didn’t actually land a punch, because she was angry enough to have done real damage. Human!Gaster clarifies that they worked it out, she already apologized, and he’s fine, it’s fine, it was when they first met. Human!Asteri is mad that he lied to her about it yesterday, but… she understands. Once it all gets cleared up, she apologizes to normal!Asteri, who, despite having been mortally terrified for a minute there, can’t really hold it against her. She would do the exact same thing for her friends.

So the morning is going great.

The Asteris (Asteries?) actually end up chitchatting again like nothing happened. Meanwhile the Gasters talk science and agree that it’s unlikely that there’s any way back to the other universe. Human!Gaster thanks normal!Gaster for keeping human!Asteri safe, and quietly (so as not to worry the Asteris) expresses his concern about his own safety and shares his experience with the guard. Normal!Gaster tells him that part of why he and human!Asteri came to Waterfall was because of a rumor about a human being spotted. He also tells him that he’s had an idea, but wasn’t sure whether to implement it. However, circumstances as they are, he thinks it would be best. He explains it to human!Gaster, and they agree to share with the Asteris.

Normal!Gaster is quite close to the king. Asgore does not really want to kill anyone. So normal!Gaster will go to him and explain: these two humans have fallen down; they are happy here, and respect monsters; he loves one of them, and the other, her friend, has vital scientific knowledge. They have no desire to leave the underground. When they die, their SOULs will be here to go toward the breaking of the barrier. Killing them now would do no more good. So he asks, both as the Royal Scientist, and as a friend: please let them just live here. Either let the people know, or turn a blind eye, but please, don’t make them fear for their lives. There is ample evidence that they are good people.

He also tells them that, depending on how it goes, he will explain the whole “alternate universe version of myself” thing to Asgore, who will believe him even though he won’t understand.

In explaining this to the others, normal!Gaster also finally explains the situation of the underground, and the strength of human SOULs, to the humans properly. Human!Gaster very much wants to contribute to the underground. He would love to have a job again. They don’t even have to pay him!

So. That’s probably what will happen.

They all stick around for a while longer. Normal!Asteri watches human!Gaster and human!Asteri chatting from across the campsite, and sees how his anxiety dissolves the longer they talk. (Since when has she been able to read him like this…?) They seem to have addressed the lingering issues. Now, it looks like any potential awkwardness about their relationship has evaporated, and they’ve slipped right back into what their friendship used to be. She’s glad. She also takes the opportunity to talk to normal!Gaster; after all, it seems reasonable to assume they could be friends too. (She is, of course, correct, and yet despite everything is still blown away by how well they get along.)

By the end, everyone exchanges contact info, and they agree to meet up again in a few days to talk about how to proceed after normal!Gaster talks to the king. Human!Gaster and human!Asteri gives each other a big hug, and she tells him she’s so glad he’s alive, and safe. And that it’s going to be okay. She won’t let anyone hurt him. He smiles. He knows, he says. It seems she takes care of him in every universe. She kisses him on the cheek, and glances at normal!Asteri. Yeah. It. seems like she does.

Human!Asteri does give normal!Asteri one last “friendly” threat about being good to human!Gaster. Normal!Asteri gives her word.

From there, things only get better. As expected, Asgore calls off the guards. Human!Gaster gets a “job” working with normal!Gaster. The Asteris collaborate on linguistic studies. Normal!Asteri eventually introduces human!Asteri to Sembie and Kelinn.

Normal!Asteri and human!Gaster are friends. It takes effort, but she genuinely wants to make up for everything. And he’s a forgiving person (plus, he already knew her, to some extent.) There’s a lot of trauma to unpack, and they both have things to work through, but it steadily gets better. And yeah, as you would expect, they eventually end up together. It’s cute.

I’m ignoring lifespans and other angsty things. Maybe being immersed in ambient magic and eating magic food extends human lifespans some. Maybe humans live longer in the universe human!Gaster and human!Asteri are from. Don’t think about it too hard. They all just get up to shenanigans together forever. But this is the gist of the AU and how it goes down in my head. Sorry it’s so freaking lONG. There’s lots more that happens tbh. But this was the foundation. The possibilities for shenanigans are endless now. There is a lot more to human!Asteri x normal!Gaster btw, but I haven’t had the brainworms for their side of this like I have for normal!Asteri x human!Gaster.

Also I know I said earlier that there were two versions but honestly I kind of mixed them together and I think I like this better. I don’t touch as much on the psychology of “hurt people hurt people” or normal!Asteri’s choices in the beginning of her interactions with human!Gaster, but believe me I’ve explored them. Similarly, human!Gaster’s resulting trauma from encounters and bullets and facial injury. I’ve also explored that but this is so long already and all I really meant to do was give the gist of this AU but instead I wrote a wHOLE FREAKING THING. I had to keep pulling myself out of “real writing mode”. Ughhh. Maybe now that this is out of my brain I can work on THE ACTUAL FIC. (I have so much of ch 10 written I just can’t get it all together.)

Also uhhh please remember that this is mostly me exploring regret and redemption and reparations and how somebody might fix stuff with a person that they’ve hurt. Except extremely fictional because alternate universes and the person hurt has a deep understanding of the one who hurt them and all that. Obviously none of that was okay, that’s the point: trying to do better after realizing you’ve been awful. And addressing that rather than let the surface vibes of a relationship ease your conscience so you can keep ignoring your guilt. Tbh I did not do Asteri’s apology and that whole conversation justice to how it went in my head but it… was very comprehensive, and there was more to it, on both sides of the conversation.

ANYWAY UHH yeah so things. Only get better. Because this is made up and I get to give it a happy resolution regardless of whether it’s realistic. Maybe I’m overly worried about it, but I just. Don’t want to give the wrong impression here. In this AU, Normal!Asteri is a good person, who made bad choices, that were fueled by trauma and fear, and that doesn’t make them okay, she’s absolutely still responsible for her choices, and it absolutely would have been within human!Gaster’s right to not want to be friends. But he did. Because he knew her better than she knew him (alternate universe friendship), plus he’s very forgiving to begin with. His decision isn’t meant to come across as a moral precedent, that’s just his character. Look just please give this the best faith interpretation ok im working through some stuff and it’s coming out in my story ideas.

Normal!Asteri and human!Gaster end up being so freaking cute okay. She is. So good to him. So soft. Very “wait is this okay? Wait is THIS okay?” I will probably touch more on their relationship later in a different post bUT THE POINT OF THIS IS THAT NOW THERE’S CONTEXT FOR MY RANDOM DOODLES

[sepetajmikolikomehoces]

🕯️

🥤

🛼

writers truth & dare

🕯on a scale from 1 to 10 how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

I'd say... a solid 7? I usually edit a bit as I go, simply because I might come up with something that impacts a situation that happened earlier and I need to go back and change that while I remember it. I also edit once I'm done to try and catch any left behind half-finished sentences. It's good, it meeds to be done, but sometimes I feel like I need to know when to stop before I veer off and edit things into oblivion.

🛼 describe your latest wip with five emojis

🧑🏻‍🤝‍🧑🏼❤️🌃❓️❗️

Make of that what you will...

🥤recommend and author or fanfic that you love

You can't just ask me to rec one. You can't. I refuse. Putting this under a cut because I might get wordy.

Space AU series by kuurama (AO3)

Run, don't walk, SPRINT LIKE USAIN BOLT TO THIS SERIES. Had me from the first sentence of the first part until the very last sentence of the second part, at which point I had cried more times than I care to admit. Gorgeous prose, continuously makes you sit back and have an existential crisis. 10/10 would be destroyed again.

Besane Su Naše Noći by @mitochondriencocktail and @mewnyan

Honestly, anything by these two geniuses, but this one especially. Can't walk past Dumle without having to clutch my chest to make sure my heart won't escape me. So soft, and with the kind of hope that makes you feel tender at the edges.

lovefool by @punanenmarli

The amount of screaming I have done over this. It is hilarious, it is angsty, it is deliciously filthy and Jere's thirst tweeting is a delight. You will want to punch Bojan, though. A little.

mun ainoa oikea satama by @frikatilhi

I don't have words for how much this fic fucked me up when I read it the first time. And the second. And third. I felt like my heart was being pulverized throughout, trying to yell at Bojan, at Jere, at the mere thought that there could be a world where they are not what they are to each other.

Black Treacle by slightlysexualfiction (AO3)

A goddamn MASTERPIECE. Fucking glorious progression that builds and builds and you become so invested in both Jan and Nace and the something that is brewing between them. Whenever I get the update notification I immediately have to go sit down because I know that one way or the other, it will take me out.

The Marks on Our Skin by @electron-road-suspect

I love ERS's Kinktober verse with all my heart and whatever shreds remain of my soul, but soulmate AUs will always own me, and this one is so gorgeous and clever in its concept and execution, and though I thoroughly swoon at the two main constellations, it was the bonus chapter that truly took me out.

Do you think we'll be in love forever? by ate_my_brain (AO3)

An absolutely devastating what if scenario that feels so real I constantly ask myself if we're not looking at a very, very possible future. Heartbreaking, jawdropping, consistently mindblowing prose.

ljubili se (in se igrali) series by xianvar (AO3 + tumblr but tumblr refused to make it a tag)

I have gone back and reread this [redacted] amount of times. Like. I am in constant AWE at the emotional heft in this, it keeps hitting me every damn time, and I think xia may be one of my favourite Jance authors in the fandom.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hi, India!!

I’m writing my first fic for a fest and I was so excited about it. But I reread what I wrote so far and it’s just soooo bad 😭 I can’t think of anyone reading it, specially because english is not my first language and I fear my writing is not natural or fluid enough.

Do you have any advice on how can I take my mind out of this though and just write for pleasure as I used to? 🥲

Hey, love 💕

I’m sorry this took me awhile to answer. (I’m also not the most eloquent right now, I’m sorry.) Honestly, it’s a little funny that you chose to ask me this question, because I’m notorious for being very, very in my head about my writing and being consistent about quality.

To be fair to that, and to you, I’m going to try and give you a handful of answers, from different perspectives. They can be taken together or separately or not at all, whatever suits.

First, most importantly, and most pragmatically:

1. Get a beta you trust.

I know the face of this fandom has changed, I know content creation has dwindled and that less and less people are able to support writers this way, but honestly, for me, this is more important than almost anything about the writing process, and especially so if you’re writing in your second, third, fourth language. There are just too many nuances to language and verbiage, and it helps so much for someone to say “I know what you meant here, but it doesn’t read like that.”

(I don’t believe in ever letting my work go unbeta-ed, no matter how confident I feel in the raw work or the language, because of course I know what I meant to say — I’m the writer. I need some to firmly (but kindly) check that the audience understands it as well.)

Betas also help in terms of managing self-criticism, because being hard on yourself is just not always something you can change, especially if you care about the story and skill-building. A good beta will help by either saying “it’s not bad, you’ve just read it too often, put it down” or “why do you think it’s bad exactly” and help you improve it.

Second, on the concept of writing for pleasure:

2. Just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s not fun.

People often mistake “fun” for “easy”; I don’t think it’s the same. I think when you enjoy something and are passionate about it, it’s going to cost you and force you to push yourself. There’s no such thing as “low-stakes passion”, that’s just incongruous. (Marathon runners don’t keep running races that are easy for them. They progress because they like it — process, challenges, rewards, everything.)

Similarly, you clearly write because you love it. But if you’re getting to the point where you’re cognizant enough to be self-critical, that means you’re improving. It means there are things you want to convey that your skill doesn’t allow you to yet.

Hold on to that, because that’s motivation. It means that you love something enough that you’re consumed with doing it justice. That tension is not a bad thing; that’s where a hobby turns into a passion and the solution is not about regressing back to something low-stakes — it’s about finding out how to bridge the gap between your skill and your ambition.

And third, focused on the output:

3. Focus on how much you want your story to exist.

Most of the time, writing is a long game. It’s about consistency and effort and focus and discipline, and all of those things are tiring as fuck.

It’s so much easier to bang out a drabble and get the validation, and move onto the next “fun” idea. And that’s totally fine, except for when you want this particular story to exist this particular way.

I’ve found that’s the only thing that pushes me to stay motivated and devoted to writing — the thought that I just want this story to exist and I don’t want to live in a world where it doesn’t.

My boss always says this thing: “let the content lead”, and I think that’s true of writing. If you’re focused on weaving this idea into something tangible, if that’s mainly what drives you, the relationship stays between you and the story (not the story and it’s external reception) and that can alleviate the pressure a lot, because you shift into writing to fulfill an internal goal, and as long as that story exists, you’ve achieved that.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I think all of your concerns are valid. You have a very practical issue: the language barrier, that needs a very practical solution: a beta. But you’re also hitting a moment of growth in terms of your writing, and I don’t want you to look at that hurdle and assume it means you need to turn around. Things can be hard and also fun, and I wouldn’t want the fandom to miss out on this version of this story that can only be written by you just because you’ve outgrown your current skill set.

Lastly, and I think this is really important: remember that this is never going to be your last fic. So if it’s not perfect — if it’s not exactly the way you want it to be at the end — write another one that’s better, and another, and another. There’s room in this fandom for every version of you as a writer, and your chances to improve and represent yourself better are infinite. Write what you can write now, and then write something better later. 🩷

[gaybroons]

Talk Hockey To Me

( @ghostgeno's tag game)

The thing that got you hooked on hockey

Started reading “hey now, you're an all star (get your game on, go play)” by @buckyismybicycle while it was ongoing because even though I was 1) completely uninterested in hockey and 2) also uninterested in Stucky as a ship, this specific author’s works have always been phenomenal and with each new chapter email I started getting more and more intrigued until I eventually gave in and started reading it (literally so worth it everyone should read it). In the end notes of each chapter, HR (the author) would add some fun facts and extra context for the hockey related stuff (considering it’s a whole hockey AU) that made me go “huh that sounds fun” more than once but I was still not super into the hockey thing.

Until. 

I reached the chapter with a beautifully written match and I was like???? Is hockey like this irl?????????? This sounds so good?????????? Cue YouTube hacking into my brain and suggesting me hockey compilations which included the infamous Lick. I saw this random man just being a menace to everyone and decided he is now the love of my life.  (i usually omit the stucky fic part bc ppl have opinions about marvel that i do not want to hear lol. so if i told you abt this before without the full context i'm sorry!!)

Your first ever fandom friend

@hard4softthings !!!! Love is stored in the ao3 comment section uwu 

The jersey you would most like to own

I can’t pick one so I’m just gonna list in descending order: Marchand home jersey (with a C !!!!!!!!😤) ,  Pasternak (also home. Sorry it’s just nicer than the away version) , Quinn Hughes (the pride one because I’m obsessed with the design it’s so pretty) 

YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

The rat king himself 🖤💛🖤💛🖤 can u tell I have a favorite 

A pairing that deserves more fic

Sid/Ovi ‼️ tuukks/pasta and Brady/Quinn too, there’s just so much potential for them. 

Your favourite on-ice moment

Picking is difficult so you’re just gonna get a bunch <3.

Bertuzzi stealing cousin’s stick and trying to break it

Marchy kidnapping The Child

pigeon

dancing with the stars

tuukks Exhibiting homicidal tendencies (rightfully so)

flower wanting to feel included

whole team under arrest

Brady Tkachuk: why is there a fucking animal loose on the ice he’s going to give me rabies

marchy waving to a booing crowd

marchy blowing kisses to a booing crowd

flower asserting his dominance tripping TWO first round picks

Quinn Hughes seeing a fight break out and says ✨no✨

Marner spinning like a ballerina

+ link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out

ART: 

this ADORABLE mcdrai art by @saviorified

MattMcDrai art by @adelphenium , obsessed with the blushing and the HAIR plz it’s so cute.  

Awfully pretty sid and geno art by @ceanspam

Captaincy transfer by @adelphenium I’m so weak for rat marchy, and ALSO bergy’s eyes <33333 i’m so <33333

the kiss of life by @stillfertile

FICS: 

The “All Caps” series by @makeit-takeit rewired my brain I’ve reread it countless times i think i can recite it by heart. 

“hard to be soft, tough to be tender” The Hanahaki fic by @hardforsoftthings I love love love the emotional progression AND denial in both of these fics (also, horny. Thank u) 

speaking of which, in less emotionally charged and more horny fics, the “spit cup” and “scratch that itch” non-traditional omegaverse doulogy by @ whitchbhitch (i do not know their tumblr)

+ link something you made & are proud of & want people to see

I’m honestly really proud of my flowertalbo fic, “Inevitably you will burn (as all living things do)” it’s really short (646 words) but I think I did a good job on it :>

Also, I find myself coming back to this one McDrai crack fic, “Oh Puck No!” idk what possessed me to write it but I had fun with it and i still find it silly and enjoyable lol

no pressure tags: @lindholmline @darkangel0410 @gilliebee @owchar1ie and anyone else who wanna do this!!!