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ks-caster · 3 years

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Beth Liveblogs Black Widow

Bought that premium access on Disney+ so I can have the privilege of pausing for snacks and using subtitles as needed - so let’s go!

Beth’s Spoiler-Free Review: Overall I thoroughly enjoyed the movie - the plot was compelling, the characters were likable, and the stunts were really excellent. I felt like hair and makeup dropped the ball on realism multiple times which I was sad about, because how she looks seems to be pretty important to Nat so I expected it to be done well in her movie.

I did not like the way they framed the tail end (denouement - obviously because this movie is mid-series we know how it ends to an extent) - I felt like the connect-up to Infinity War was lackluster, especially compared to how enjoyable and dynamic the rest of the film was.

Spoilery live-reactions are under the cut. Click at own risk! Feel free to rebagel with your own impressions, thoughts, jokes and rebuttals!

The movie begins with a young Nat with blue dyed hair and visible roots, showing her natural red. Do you know how hard it is to get natural red out of hair, enough to make it blue and not green? And I’m supposed to believe that a middle-school age girl in 1995 Ohio had access to these chemicals? I’ll give her the white hair in IW/Endgame because she’s an adult with a lot of experience as a spy altering her appearance. But as a child? In the 90s? While her family is apparently in hiding? Sus.

The scene with Alexei laying on the on the wing while Nat learns to fly? AMAZING stunts. Amazing. AND someone in an action movie is finally smart enough to shoot the tires.

Nice skills on young Nat, getting the gun. Since we know from Endgame that Nat’s father is named Ivan, we know that Alexei isn’t really her dad. She also refers to presumably the red room as going “back.” Was she lent out to these agents to legitimize their family?

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Nice knife moves, Yelena - I love the hand switch.

Ooooh so she was being mind controlled and the red stuff freed her? Interesting.

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Nat is in Norway - visit Thor! He’d love to have you. (I’m mixing up my timeline, aren’t I?)

Supplies Dude whose name I didn’t catch refers to the Avengers breakup as a divorce - I kinda love it. It’s accurate!

BUDAPEST omg are we finally going to get the story?? Are we??

Box dye? I’m supposed to believe she got all that red out of her hair with flippin’ Loreal? Really? And that toner isn’t even the color she ultimately went - it’s too yellow. Sus.

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Oop, looks like Nat got caught up in Yelena’s desertion.

Do not give Nat your metal frisbee, robocop - she’s been around Steve long enough that she knows how to use it.

I laughed out loud when she did the string him up thing with the cables - literal spider move, I love it!

Mystery box is empty - classic bait and switch.

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BUDAPEST - WE ARE IN BUDAPEST - IT’S HAPPENING PEOPLE

Nat closing the door behind her is a small thing but I appreciate it - no sneaking up behind her.

When Yelena throws Nat in the kitchen and her feet hit the door and she spins before she hits the ground? That was a helluva stunt.

Oooooh honey. No body left to check is ALWAYS movie code for they lived.

Dreykov’s daughter? Another hint from Avengers 2012? C’mon, movie.

Riding the chimney down? Another incredible stunt.

Dreykov can scan his soldiers’ bodies and terminate them if they’re too damaged to keep fighting? Big yikes. With Nat where she is character development wise, the stakes are now much higher because if she injures an opponent they may be killed remotely.

“Do you want me to chase him down and un-steal it?”

The car door under the bike was an excellent stunt - as was the car going into the subway. Though I’ve never seen a subway entrance big enough to admit a car.

Who hasn’t wanted to slide down the middle to avoid the crowded escalators lol.

Yelena making fun of Nat’s sexy poses I am LIVING omg.

Running water for wounds. RUNNING WATER. NOT ALCOHOL. The vodka goes on the INSIDE for the pain - the running water cleans the OUTSIDE. If there’s a convenience store then there’s a bathroom, with running water. Cleansing with something like alcohol is a LAST RESORT and you do not look like you’re at that point resource-wise. I thought these ladies were supposed to be highly trained in all of the things?

“Could be fun though.” “I saw where he put the keys” “Top drawer green cabinet.” I love their chaos.

Yelena’s vest and its pockets and the resulting conversation are positively majestic.

“You are sensitive.” “You’re a very annoying person.”

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Do! Not! Move! Around! Like! That! While! Getting! A! Tattoo!!!! That poor artist was trying his best and Alexei just...

Ooooh was Red Guardian like Captain Russia? Interesting.

“Just don’t make a scene.” “You made a scene didn’t you.”

David Harbor running up that wall and then wiping out after the guard shocks him... I really loved that stunt, especially since they don’t show him being all super cut - he’s a big guy! He’s allowed to have fat over his muscles and still be a strong dude! I love it.

“Such a poser.” Girl, you need to meet Loki - he does a lot of hair flips too lol.

The sibling energy between the girls during the rescue!!!

“Whooooooa... this would be a cool way to die.” Yelena, I’m not necessarily disagreeing with you but get your head in the game girl.

Poor Alexei - he never gets to do the dramatic escape from *inside* of the aircraft.

Hang on, no ovaries? So all of these women are now in immediate, surgically-induced menopause? The uterus part makes sense if the intent was to prevent them from getting pregnant if they have sex during a mission, but, what, they gotta be on estrogen supplements for the rest of their lives? That’s just really poor planning. Like it was hilarious the way Yelena went into the biology of it to make Alexei uncomfortable, but that really doesn’t make sense to do to your superhero kids. It’s just bad science.

Love that Yelena keeps her vest even after she changes into her matching white flight suit. That vest better make it to the end of the movie.

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“Honey, we’re home.” I 100% expected her to shoot him on sight tbh. it would have been funny.

Alexei squeezing into the uniform is such a post-pandemic feel. Also all of the fancy braids at that table; I see where Natasha got her propensity for them.

Animal cruelty warning, ugh. Poor piggy Alexei.

Oooh the photo album and Natasha remembered staging the pictures; they’re emotional for her but in a different way.

I wonder if robocop’s shield is actually Alexei’s.

The singing between Alexei and Yelena was a really beautiful moment because it was neither auto-tuned-good nor hilariously bad - it felt really real, especially the way Yelena’s so choked up she can barely make sounds come out.

Uh-oh, mama has one of those monitor your vitals and kill your ass suits. The suits I understand - the eyeliner though... when and why did she do her makeup?? That’s not really the thing that comes to mind for me when I’m getting ready to do something athletic, like say kidnapping my supersoldier fake family.

“This is a much less cool way to die.” Also WTF why would they do that. Wouldn’t it be easier to get the information out of her while her brain is still attached to, y’know, her mouth??

CLEVER CLEVER CLEVER they switched outfits and faces ooooooh like mother like daughter.

The door opening as Alexei is leaning against it dramatically bahahahaha

I love the plan. I’m thoroughly weirded out that Melina has a red wig just lying around that perfectly immitates Natasha though.

“Yelena, it’s mama. You have a two-inch blade in your belt.”

Oh. My. God.

Antonia.

A pheromone lock preventing them from hurting them if they’re close enough to smell him - I like it. It’s clever and new.

Bahahaha poser! You posed I saw you! Still love the vest.

Natasha is really good at manipulating people’s emotions to get what she wants - I mean, scary good. So if she’s provoking Dreykov into beating her up, there’s a reason.

“Using the only resource the world has too much of - girls.” Kill him.

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When I say I whooped out loud... SEVERING THE NERVE. Thank you for your cooperation. YAAAAAAS QUEEN.

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“Slight change of plans - we are going into a controlled crash.” The way she said that was just so mom-like omg!

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The grenade as a delivery system was super smart - but yikes what if she’d mistimed it and blew Natasha up? Also, after the beating she took and how hard she had to wack her own face into the desk to sever her olfactory nerve and the amout of blood we saw her leave behind from doing that, her face should be a LOT more messed up, come on makeup department.

“Get as far away from here as possible.” And then keep going because General I-Collect-Supersoldiers-Like-Stamps Ross is about to turn up at your location looking for trouble and he’d snap you ladies up like there’s a fire sale and you’re going out of stock.

This crash doesn’t look all that controlled, Melina. I’m starting to suspect that most of the widows won’t live long enough to make their own decisions...

All of the aerial stunts were amaaaaaazing - the way Nat slowed herself by sliding down the panels so Antonia could catch up with her and she could deploy her parachute...

The vest survived the movie!!!

Fuuuuuck Ross is showing up and he sucks and I hate him and I’m super worried that he’s gonna take the vest from Nat if he takes her into custody. Please don’t let her lose the vest.

Okay, there is now zero reason for Nat to stay behind. They have an aircraft. She had plenty of time to just board it and leave?

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Okay okay okay Ross did not get her and did not take the vest. But am I supposed to believe she bleached her hair, toned it blonde, and then re-bleached and re-toned it to silver? Who does that? That would be terrible for her hair. Her scalp would be burned all to hell from the amount of chemicals needed to not only get all that red out but THEN get the blonde toner out. Y’know what color silver toner is? Blue/purple. Y’know what happens when you mix that with yellow? Green. And not a nice green either (I speak from experience). No. Her hair at the end of the movie? Cancelled.

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SHE GOT THE DOG!!!

Oh, ouch. Big ouch. I hurt like a lot now. This is so not an okay way to end the -

...

Countess I-Forgot-Your-Name-Already?

Oh no. Oh no. That’s worse. That’s a lot worse. We are now setting up the Hawkeye series and I while I’m horrified that this was how they ended the film, I gotta say that’s going to make for some wonderful angst in that series on both Clint and Yelena’s parts and I am here for it!

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I really, really enjoyed this movie, I thought the story was compelling, the stunts were really excellent, and I liked the character dynamics and the twist

I did not like the ending - it just sort of fell off quickly and didn’t feel satisfying after an otherwise really fun movie. I also take issue with the hair and makeup as shown among the characters, as seen in my several rants to that effect.

I would have liked to have seen a few more childhood/training flashbacks, and absolutely would have loved a cameo from Jeremy Renner (not just his voice) and to see him and Nat meeting and him giving her the whole dad speech that he does so well - bonus points if she could have then quoted him to Yelena or Antonia, showing the way that multiple people had a formative effect on her (an answer to the “The Avengers aren’t really your family either” comment).

#BlackWidowSpoilers #Black Widow Spoilers #Beth Liveblogs Black Widow

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dotthings · 5 years

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Heavily cluttered, as many Bucklemming eps are, but worth the trip. There was a lot of goodness in 15.08 and there were two moments where I shrieked out loud.

My two out loud-shriek moments, let’s get that out of the way:

Queen Rowena. Caaaaalled it.

Dean and Cas are going back??? To???? Purgatory???? Together?????? And Bobo???? Is???? Writing the episode???????????? *SHRIEKING AND FLAILING*

Okay more orderly and sedate now. Eileen is so damn fierce. She’s a very physical fighter, she’s smart but seems to use a blunt fighting skill. She can punch HARD. I love watching that so so much. I would enjoy female characters on SPN like this regardless, but the fact that this is a hero character with a disability and it’s never a big deal is deeply refreshing and SPN did something really really right bringing her back, amen.

Protective Sam shows up and Eileen is happy to see him but literally pushes him aside so she can make the kill. She doesn’t need his protection, but she also values him as a hunting partner as the ep shows. Also they’re trying to build a relationship here. Eileen seems used to hunting solo and Sam wants to offer backup, and he got worried.

So the plan is to lock up Chuck like Chuck locked up Amara. The sweet irony of this delights me. He tried to shut away the divine feminine rather than actually stepping up to deal with his sister as, well, a person (well, a divine deity, but still, a being with feelings and thoughts and complexities). Chuck, the arrogant and narcissistic toxic masculinity God, maybe to be locked up now instead as his hubris and his lack of empathy and his petulance is exposed. What if Amara was the more competent deity all along?

There is no way Dean doesn’t know what an Achilles’ heel is. The random WTF of this is so much it’s not even angering it’s just so bizarre. LOL what even. Look I am really enjoying S15 but I hope the butterfly net tightens on stopping this kind of thing because honestly. I’ll just pretend that scene isn’t there. Luckily I enjoyed the episode overall a lot.

Team Free Will in research mode together in the bunker just really makes me happy. Cas is where he belongs.

Donatello!Chuck threatening Jody, Donna, Eileen, “pretty much everyone on your speed dial” as a deterrent to Sam and Dean is bearing out again my impressions of how Chuck views these characters. I’m still not 100% sure what he thinks of Cas who is right in the room but Chuck doesn’t seem to acknowledge him, except as some sort of right arm to Sam and Dean, as I’ve said in other posts, I think Chuck regards him as a nuisance now, and a deterrent to his miserable endings, and a pawn. Just like Donna, Jody, and Eileen, to him, they’re just pawns. They’re all people Sam and Dean care about, and Chuck will use them to keep his two favorites in line.

See what I did there?

Yeah. Chuck doesn’t care about the characters as people. Everyone except Sam and Dean are expendable and tools to be used so he can control Sam and Dean and that’s it. He’ll destroy them with a snap of his fingers and won’t care. Look at that. Familiar attitude, isn’t it. How interesting.

“If you want to stay here, stay here.” Dean’s gone back to not!listening to Cas I see. While Cas is Dean-avoidant and trying not to look at him throughout the episode. But both of them are thawing just a little.

Like when Cas heals Dean’s cut palm and the way it’s staged looks like he’s going to take Dean’s hand to do it which I don’t think is an accident. That moment was meant to be soft. Dean didn’t ask. Cas offered. And Dean didn’t jerk his hand away or say no. Then there’s the fact that Cas is going to go with Sam and Dean into Hell despite all his misgivings about Michael and this entire plan.

Team Free Will, getting all researchy together, and then getting all BAMFY together with their angel blades going into Hell.

We didn’t get any kind of nod back to Dean and Cas’s last visit together to Hell and that’s the second time they have been back to Hell (well the last time was some sort of Hell ante-room, the cage was brought up iirc) and SPN failed to nod to it, WHY AM I CONTINUALLY DENIED THIS.

“Hello, boys.” There it is. My actual shriek of delight. I hope it didn’t alarm the neighbors.

“I took it.” Yes you did, my red-headed goddess queen of the underworld. You sure did. GET IT ROWENA. Rowena won the game of thrones. Boom.

She’s a little flirty with Sam, still has a soft spot for him I think.

And then starts playing marriage counselor for Dean and Cas. “What am I picking up with you two? A wee tiff?....So fix it.” Someone called this, I’m fairly certain, that if Rowena saw Dean and Cas again during their divorce she’d size that situation up and down and comment on it. FIX IT. So say we all.

“Family sucks.” Jake Abel did such a fantastic job in this. tbh I didn’t give much thought to Adam all these years, it seemed like SPN was never going back there. I liked Jake’s performances in S5, but it just seemed like a story that was over. But Jake Abel, man. He comes back after all this time and owns the dual roles and made me care. With a performance that was alternately fearsome and vulnerable.

“That’s adorable.” Dean is SO happy about Sam and Eileen, he looked so soft, and still a bit not okay because his chosen other half is barely looking at him, but mostly Dean’s rooting for Sam to have some happiness. “If it was to work, she gets it, she gets us, she gets the life.” It’s a retreated on Sam’s speech back during “Baby” about someone...something...who understands the life. And Sam has found that with Eileen.

Meanwhile Cas is right there, with Dean, with this great big chasm still open between them but...he’s there. And all the arrows point towards him for Dean.

Dean and Cas are being magnets again. Not like in S14 where every time there is a crisis they stand very close together and are drawn together, now they’re like magnets that are trying not to feel the pull but they cannot escape each other’s pull nor do they really want to, but they can’t quite figure out how to cross the distance.

There’s more than one scene where Dean or Cas is out of focus and the other in focus, as if to emphasize how they’re both there but not in phase with each other. Not yet.

I so enjoyed the Cas and Michael stuff. Cas’s prayer to Michael, Michael’s mad on for Cas. “Oh, I didn’t come to beg.” And there’s the ruthless strategic angel.

There’s also something really...fitting about Sam and Dean and Cas all being the ones standing outside the ring of holy fire together to trap an archangel who they effectively hope to bring in from the cold, to their side, in a post S6 era of the show.

“To paraphrase a friend you had an entire oak tree shoved up your ass.” I see Cas is still quoting Dean, having Dean as a compass point or a North star. Even if he can barely look at Dean right now.

Cas telling Michael his unimportance to God and keeping the upper hand is just...so satisfying. Cas has grown so much. I keep thinking about S5 Cas and how despite how powerful Cas was back then, radiating power in ways he doesn’t quite do the same way now, Cas always seemed so...smol next to the archangels. Punching above his weight class. But now he faces down Michael and tells Michael rawly how it is with their dad Chuck. And when Michael tries to choke him, he fights past it and goes into Michael’s mind to show him everything, to help him see the truth. Cas has grown so much, this felt a lot like a little brother constantly picked on leaves home, grows, and comes back to find big, big brother isn’t quite as big and intimidating as he remembers.

Which in fact he isn’t, because Michael is capable of insight and change and feelings too. He’s not his father. Despite being the favorite. Despite clinging still to his hero-worship. But Cas worked past that with Chuck long ago.

When Eileen’s friend needs help on a hunt, and Eileen goes to Sam, Sam goes with her, no doubts. Tells Dean he’s going, as Dean recounts to Cas, and Dean seems cool with it.

Sam and Eileen seem to be growing closer and closer, and while there is something tentative about Sam, he definitely is drawn to her and cares. That tentativeness is from past hurt and loss and maybe he’s scared to enter into this kind of relationship. But they’ve got their own magnetic pull together, they fit.

Dean and Cas facing each other in that bunker kitchen, the lighting darker and colder than usual. They’re facing each other, and each shift in and out of camera focus, not looking at each other much. Cas can’t look at Dean at all in this scene, while Dean keeps sneaking glances at Cas. In other scenes, Cas does sneak looks at Dean. They are ridiculous and my heart hurts. The blocking here is them facing each other only not--they are a few feet off, so looking past each other.

Cas sitting at that table, hands folded, staring straight ahead and working very hard obviously to Not Look at Dean.

Dean’s reaction on Cas reporting the words Michael said, “I want you dead, get out.” The things Dean has said to Cas are coming back to haunt him, coming from the words of their once mortal enemy, that’s gotta sting.

Both Dean and Cas have some work to do here, but Dean definitely is already very aware his own words went too far, and has been for a while.

“God lied to me. I loved him.” Oh wow that hurt, I didn’t expect these feelings.

A thing about Adam and Michael, both feeling so abandoned by their families, and losing everyone. They offered support to each other. They worked out a time-share in Adam’s body. We’ve seen genuine vessel and angel bonds form before (in Lily Sunder). There’s also a S7 episode by Ben Edlund about the bond between a human and the demon who possessed him. Not sure how healthy Adam and Michael are, but they seem weirdly functional, and don’t despise each other and I kind of have some feelings about Adam and Michael bonding the way they did in The Cage. Perhaps Michael shielded Adam from the worst of it. It’s how Adam is coherent after being down there for so long. Maybe Adam made Michael less lonely. Did I ASK for feelings about Adam and Michael, no I did nOT and yet here we are.

Then there’s Adam. It was interesting that scene where Sam acknowledges maybe they gave up too easily. Because Sam and Dean refuse to accept it when it’s each other they lose, and have gone way over the line to get the other one back. Here Sam is admitting that it shouldn’t be just for them. That Adam was worth saving. Even though they don’t know him well, he still didn’t deserve what happened (as Dean acknowledges at the end of the ep). And Sam and Dean never mentioning him again or giving him another thought apparently, all these seasons...well, that kind of made me assume that was that. Just because someone is blood, doesn’t make you family and they barely knew Adam.

But if it’s someone who could potentially earn that? Someone basically good? And they just...forgot about him and left him to his torment in Hell? So this did need addressing. There’s not much time to develop a relationship with Adam and TFW this late in the game but there was a start here.

Dean likewise offers his apology to Adam at the end. “You’re a good man. You didn’t deserve that.”

Right when I was thinking, so many of them don’t get what they deserve, they just keep getting Hell heaped on their heads, Adam says “Since when do we get what we deserve.”

There’s a subtle thing there where Adam looks at Cas, Cas very pointedly still tries to be not looking at Dean, and after Adam leaves Dean turns to Cas looking so...sorrowful for a moment. I keep saying, Dean and Cas deserve each other, and right now they can’t figure how to have each other.

But Michael left them a strange gift. The Leviathan flower, to seal away Chuck, but the gift has a double meaning (unintentionally on Michael’s part). It’s not just the tool to shut away the villain, Michael opens a door to Purgatory and boom just like that, opens up a whole doorway on Dean and Cas’s story because of the emotional significance of Purgatory for them. What they had there. What happened there. The way that place broke loose some of their feelings. I’m not sure what’s going to happen now, if they both go, as the promo glimpses seem to suggest, does one return and the other gets trapped? Is Dean’s prayer to Cas going to be inside Purgatory, is Cas also still in Purgatory and they get separated? Is being thrown together back into that environment going to help them heal? Or will they be torn apart again but that provides another route to reconciliation?

#spn #supernatural #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #Castiel #team free will #rowena macleod #Adam Milligan #Eileen Leahy #Saileen #Destiel #meta #Michael

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anunvalidcritic · 5 years

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TITANS: sn2 ~ ep11

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

The last episode was a little slow for me but let’s see about this one.

E.L._.O.

Y’all remember that little monologue BEAST BOY gave RAVEN when he saw all that ooey gooey shit come out of her while sleeping?.... Well here it is again but just double the drama.

“Don’t lie to me, Rachel! You can’t even control yourself. I saw you yesterday in the training room you couldn't bring it back in. *chuckles* black clouds of razor blades.”

Cadmus out here working on my boy’s brain!

Damn DICK looks bad!

Ayyye IMAGINARY BATS is back!!

Well ig JERICHO manifested himself into DEATHSTROKE before he died.

RAVEN’s at DICK’s funeral this is clearly some sort of dream..

EWW WTF!!!!! ALL THAT BLOOD JUST CAME OUT OF HIS MOUTH!

Clearly, no one is in the tower if the fucking windows are fucked up and the house looks like shit, DONNA!

WOW, I really thought KORI was about to fo home.

“You look rough. Get your life together lady.”

Ofc DAWN feels the need to listen to you don’t own me.

She better roll up to that diner

ROFL she’s getting a fucking tarot reading

“I must’ve wished for this a thousand times, but I never thought it would happen.” - DANI

Dang ig her daddy really wasn’t shit

This physiatrist is really reading KORI and she knows it.

Thank god she tired that fucking song off.

Where is KORI gettin’ all this fucking money from!

“We have the best donuts north of Area 51.” - COMMERCIAL MAN

Wow like donuts will really get her attention.

DICK + BRUCEY = HEART TO HEART

“Oh cry me a fucking river the kid's father killed him! Not you!“ - BRUCE

Wow JASON and ROSE really out here gettin’ freaky deaky

“Fuck Wayne Maynor ROSE that was never the real me anyway.” - JASON

Wow she really went down there for the fucking donuts lol

ICONIC DIALOGUE

STARFIRE - “Here’s the thing I’m having a few really shity day and if you could just try that would be great.”

COOK - “And people in Hell want ice water lady. We don’t make dounts!”

STARFIRE - “listen my sister killed my parents and marooned me on this ridicuolous planet SO IF YOU GOR FLOUR EGGS AND SUGAR BACK THERE IMMA NEED YOU TO GO BACK THERE AND FIGUER THAT OUT OK!?!?!”

COOK - “Donuts coming right up.”

BAD BITCHIES UNITE

BRUCE WAYNE!!!!!

ig the females of the titans gotta fix this shit smdh

This man that plays BRUCE is one smooth motherfucker

She made those fucking donuts though!

“You gotta be fucking kidding me!” - DONNA

The real OG TITANS going to go save DICK

JASON lived in a fuckin’ school... “watching the theatre kids live there best lives.”

JASON + ROSE = A Couple That Should Not Be Together

Did this asshole just the legendary BARBRA STREISAND?!?!

Corny ass couple

Back to DICK GRAYSON in prison

“You both loved JERICHO, you both got him killed. A common bond of self-loathing. As long as you both alive you can always blame the other guy.” - BRUCE

BRUCE WAYNE with the slow clap

Insert BRUCE and DICK fighting scene

“You’re not ROBIN anymore. You’re stronger faster like a bird of prey.” - BRUCE

DICK = ME watchin’ all of this unfold.

You can’t just delete a message from a phone like that and think he won’t see it smh but ig that’s how this show works.

I knew she was a trader.

DADDY BIG MAD NOW

HOW TF DID THEY GET THOSE WINDOWS FIXED oh nvm its fake

They really gave my boy RYAN POTTER a fucked-up wig

BEAST BOY...

_____

Tumblr is being really weird with this whole gif thing. At first, it said that I wasn’t able to post my own gifs and memes then it said I couldn’t. So I just stuck with using Tumblr gifs. Now it’s not really letting me use certain gifs here without deleting them before posting it. But now all of a sudden I can post the Tumblr gifs now.... *Monique Voice - Make it make sense*

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sarahdrewthat · 6 years

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omg what were the boys like when you met them? and we will need a pt 2 when you meet them again plsss

OH MAH GOD HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS BITCH TF IM SORRY THIS IS LIKE A MONTH LATE BUT IM SEEING THE BOYS NEXT SUNDAY AND THIS TIME, ITS PLANNED BITCH

Okay so here’s what happened:

I was walking out of the station when it started snowing like crazy. My hair was curled and shit and I usually love snow, but the snow straightened my hair out by the time I walked down the block to the line. Girls heard clicking of heels and they started to scream wildly, but when they saw it was me, wearing shades, snowflakes in my curly chocolate locks, furry jacket and small backpack, and not the guys, they collectively went, “Oh.” (like, bitch, im still cool dont fucking OH me)

I don’t know how I didn’t start flipping out when I saw Clara standing at the front of the line (I was walking towards her to the back of the line of fans) and we gave each other a small smile and a mutual eye wink. Still not over my tía being the queen she is.

It wasn’t that far behind the line, I was behind about 35 people when I got to the back. Made some conversation with four beautiful girls: a mother with her daughter, and two friends. We stood there in the snow and cold for about 3-4 hours, I had to pee desperately, met @cieloxcnco (!!!!) and began to share stories, hype, and love for CNCO.

Bella ( @cieloxcnco) tapped me and motioned me to come closer to her, almost in a hush-hush manner. She whispered to me, “Girl, two of my friends are up in the front of the line and they sent me this thing that they took from inside where Sony gives you a chance to meet the guys.”

I stared at her and said, “I don’t believe it.” I really didn’t, out of the 100 girls there, what chances would we have of winning to meet the guys? Plus, my curled hair was already straightened out so I didn’t even look as good as I originally intended.

However, I was curious. “How do we get in?”

Bella explained, “Basically, we take a picture of two people on Snapchat, use Sony’s Snapchat filter, and tag them in our story.” I heavily doubted it but I gave it a shot anyways. “Alright, let’s do it, yo.”

We took like 4 pictures because Bella looked fly as fuck, and I looked cross-eyed (I thought the boys would see them, but turns out their management only does). The management and security guards (one of them was hella ratchet, but was such a chill dude, we called him Sinnabon) came around and gave us hot chocolate.

After they carded us, checked our bags, and slapped us with wrist bands, we walked inside the pop-up area, warming ourselves up and attempting to get to the front of the small stage. I peed first because a bitch was about to pop a cow, and as I got out, Bella ran up to me, gripping my arm with a deathly clutch and dragged me to the side.

“What’s wro--” I didn’t even finish my sentence when she flashed her phone in my face, showing a text from Sony on Snapchat, telling us something along the lines of “Congratulations Bella! You and your friend won a chance to meet the guys of CNCO! Screenshot this message and meet us at the front of the area at 7:15 pm.”

My jaw dropped as Bella pulled back her phone from my face, revealing her large widening smile. “Are you serious?” I choked out. She squealed and fanned her face, “I am in complete denial myself, but we gotta bounce.”

We made our way to the front, as we met five other girls sitting in the seats up front. There were three pairs of two, and one other girl who was a journalist for Sony, who was alone. We were all collectively freaking out and complimenting one another on how we each looked like we could be a possible girlfriend for the guys (i love this part of the fandom uwu)

The management came up to each one of us and asked to see our screenshotted message, and explained to us that there would be no autographs or selfies. Just hand one phone to Clara and she will take a photo of you and the boys. We were also told that we had to sign a waiver that allowed us to be on TV, since they were recording this event.

We all walked down the steps, past the stage and into the hallway to the back, where Clara came out herself and repeated the same instructions that the woman from Sony told us earlier. They each gave us a small contract to sign and then took our picture holding the contract.

Here’s the main stuff (sorry I had to explain how I got in otherwise you’d think I paid for this, when it was completely unplanned):

Bella and I were the last pair of the three, with the Sony girl behind us, to meet the guys. However, the security guards were rushing girls in and out (I assume time there was very short) so when they motioned me to go in to the room to meet the guys, I was waiting for Bella to finish signing her waiver, so I stood there like an idiot in the doorway and this is what Mama Saffie saw:

I’m not lying. I caught a glimpse of Joel and Chris’s faces only. They looked like wax figures, meaning I did not comprehend how gorgeous they actually were in real life. Their skin was glowing and warm (I SHIT YOU NOT) and their lips were fat and soft, CHICAASSSS.

The room was set up like this: when you walk in, you see the guys seated like an L shaped bench, the entrance to the room being at the top of the ‘L’. I was supposed to see (logically and in order) Richard, Zabdiel, Erick, (and then the base of the ‘L’), Joel and Chris.

I assume the reason why I just did not see the other boys was because the back of a security guard was escorting the girls in front of us out of the room, thereby blocking the three boys, so all I saw walking into the room was Joel and Chris.

I was holding my jacket in my hands (mind you, it’s HUGE) and honestly, I should have tossed my shit to the side and crawled my ass over to hug them. I was so starstruck by their beauty that I just walked over to them, not extending my arms or anything (but shit I was holding a jacket fml). Joel didn’t do the same, and he had his hands in his pockets, shades on (BOY WTF LET ME SEE THE EYES THAT SEDUCED ME IN THE FIRST PLACE) and smiling softly.

I saw his eyebrows go up slightly when I wobbled over to him and gave a nervous, “Hiiii,” and he snaked an arm around my shoulders while bobbing his head up and down to eye my feet.

“Oh, wow, you’re actually pretty tall, okay.” Joel said to (Name). NAH IM PLAYING YALL HE REALLY SAID THAT OKAY THIS IS NOT A DRILL)

i giggled slightly and gave a small, “Really?” because what the fuck am I supposed to say to that? “I know”??

Clara took Bella’s phone (she can tell you all about HER interaction with them which is so much more interesting than mine) and began to say, “Okay, three, two--” and before she said ‘one’, Joel tugged me closer to his chest/armpit, making my heart rate fly and my face a slight pink and giving me a giant whiff of his strong, musky cologne. I almost died in his arms, y’all, he wears a shit ton of cologne, like are you tRYING to get me pregnant?

When she flashed the picture, Joel slid his hand across my shoulder blades, unwinding his clutch from our hug and said, “Thanks for coming, thanks for being here,” or something like that.

READY FOR THIS SHIT: I said, “Haha, no thank you guys, you smell REALLY good, by the way.” (I know, someone call Homeland Security on me rn)

He gave his signature smile, he kinda broke his cool facade as he chuckled and Chris also giggled a little, so I touched his forearm and said, “Thank you so much for this opportuinity!” He goes, “Ay, gracías, amor, thank you.”

After that, I had a bunch of hoes jumping on me like, “DID YOU TELL JOEL THAT I LOVED HIM” “WHAT DID YOU SAY” “DID HE PROPOSE TO YOU” “CAN YOU SIGN MY SHIRT OMG YOURE SO COOL” I was like, Damn okay this new.

Needless to say, I winked at Zabdiel, Chris, and Erick throughout the whole time they performed and they did wink back (I know because I was head and shoulders above everyone else) and Zabdiel kept staring my way as he strung notes on his guitar.

So, that’s my story of unintentionally meeting CNCO. Next Sunday, I will do a pose with the guys that no other fan has done and I hope I go viral because of it lol. Not sure how much time I have before fucking managemnet starts pulling me off of the guys.

What do you guys think? Comment in my ask box or leave it in my notes. Besos!

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helihi · 6 years

Text

The Good, The Bad and The Dirty: RWBY Vol 6 Ch 11

It’s review time, kiddos.

Overall Rating: 6/10

A.N.: R.I.P. Bumblebee. You served your community.

The Good:

The episode kicks off with the expected fight between Gen:lock’s #AD meka vs. RW__, JN_R, Oscar, Grandma Katara + Qrow. The first fight scene had a lot good one liners and exchanges between some characters.

Nora yelling “You get back here with MY MAN.” is honestly one of the best lines of the volume. As always, she the gal.

The return of the Lancer is very much appreciated. The last time we saw it, we got bees, this appearance continues with that tradition.

Ladies, gentlemen and everyone in between. We all know why you tuned in today to watch the new episode:

BEES.

Good fight scenes.

I’m never tired of watching Blake fight. She turned into Spiderman to lead Adam into Yang? It’s kind of hard to tell, since Yang goes up the hill to Yeet Bumblebee out of existence, but if that’s the case: It shows a lot about her character growth that she actually did this instead of trying to get him away from her. She knows she can’t win this fight alone.

This fight belongs to Blake as much as it belongs to Yang.

Of course, in a 1v1 sword fight, Adam gets the upper hand, and uses his usual abuse tactics on Blake: gaslighting and manipulation. He tears off his Bird Box bandana to reveal a SDC scar on his left eye (Thanks to the FNDM who figured this out while I was too hyped).

He was marked... like a bull. And gives us a small insight of his past without going for the cheap character backstory villains get where you can’t help but feel sympathy for them. THANK FUCKING GOD.

I am happy they got rid of Blake’s coat for this fight (even tho the girl’s gonna freeze to death unless she hugs Yang into oblivion), We get a clear view of her scar, and Adam attempts to hurt her again, but bam.

The moment we have been waiting for for 1 whole week takes place. Thanks CRWBY for not disappointing us.

Yang has given up her pride, her arm and her motorcycle for Blake. The fact that Bumblebee crashes into Adam is a gay metaphor guys. Happy 20BiTeen.

Yang enters triumphantly and this is where I start praising the animation. Though the camera movements during the Adam vs. Blake scenes weren’t that great, the flow of the character’s movements looked nice, and the addition of 2D animation to the 3D environment as always makes everything pop up.

Adam is restless attacking Blake, although she puts up a fight at first, she can’t hold it for long. After getting rid of Gambol Shroud’s blade, he attacks her without giving her a chance to fight back: this is how he intimidates her in the battlefield; He makes her feel small.

Another metaphor: Adam break’s half of Blake’s weapon. Now both of the bees have lost a part of their weapon (which everyone compares to their soul based on canon lore).

The fight between Yang and Adam is almost evenly matched. You can see Yang enjoying it and giving her all.

The posture of Adam begins where it left off: He is constantly attacking Yang, dominating the whole sequence. He doesn't want to give her a break to keep the intimidation factor on. The problem is: Yang has learned from the last time.

Yang manages to stand her ground, her offensive game is on. She clearly listened to Tai during her training sessions. Once she finds an opening, Adam begins losing his edge. His attacks are more erratic, less calculated, more like Yang’s during vol 3 (Which Tai pointed at during Vol 4).

Gotta love that mashing the punch button from Super Smash and Adam absorbing everything before doing a crap shadow clone jutsu.

Yang’s comment about Adam’s semblance is glorious. This is further confirmation that Yang and Adam are complete opposites of one another:

Yang must be hurt to attack. She’s usually protecting others when doing so. Her Semblance makes her the perfect tank.

Adam absorbs the attacks thrown his way, and his Semblance is meant to hurt others.

Yang quickly changes her strategy. Her ability to adapt to new information while fighting is character growth. She doesn’t shoot at him, except when he manages to block her. I love this girl.

When Adam delivers his Moonslice, Yang blocks it with her prosthetic, just like I expected. A whiny boy’s Semblance ain’t going though Atlas high tech, boi.

Now, Yang’s statement is very important: Leave us alone. She’s giving Adam the chance to leave. I think this proves that the only way to stop him as a villain is through death. Bless.

It is then that Blake stands up and delivers her character development lines: She understands why Yang rejected her during the Apathy mini story. This is not about one protecting the other, is about the both of them caring for each other and fighting side by side.

Imma cry.

Then the screen goes black and I got pissed.

My brother exited the room when he watched it and said “DIS-A-FUCKING-POINTING”.

The Bad:

The robo Meka design looks old, but having the power source be so easily accesible by the enemy is so cheap. If the robot was created to fight Grimm, I can take that. You ain’t gonna see any Goliath take one down. However, I think sea Grimms might be a little too fast to get caught by it. That robot ain’t got shit on Lancers too.

The combination fight scenes between the small teams didn’t look that great as a whole. It almost made me think of the awful V5 mega fight. Some times I was thinking: Why isn’t María doing anything? Or Gremlin wouldn’t be distracted by Jaune and his pals, she is a trained military official for crying out loud.

Guys, it’s not so hard to pronounce Calavera: Ca-La-Ve-Ra, not Calvera.

I feel like after watching LoK, I can see a thousand ways to bring down a Meka. I enjoyed the one liners, but when I watched the episode the second time, I was kind of bored.

Ruby jumping over the missiles doesn’t look well, I think they should have worked a little more on the flow of movements there.

The Dirty:

How dare the CRWBY not give us the whole BMBLB Vs Adam Fight on one go, wtf.

Overall Rating: 6/10

A.N.: R.I.P. Bumblebee. You served your community.

#rwby #rwby6 #Me #The good the bad and the dirty

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dewprisms · 6 years

Text

kh3 spoilers idk tumblr keeps not saving them and idk what i was doing last :/ but this will be the last one unless there’s DLC or something

this terranort scene....everyone sure is taking their time to attack him

kairi where is your keyblade seriously??? maybe you should have it out???? why are they making her a fucking damsel in distress again

so Donald and Lea get hurt because Kairi’s too dumb to not have her keyblade out with monsters around what the FUCK was the point of her training if they’re making her NOT DO A DAMN THING EXCEPT BE A D-I-D

god is THIS why I saw posts about people being upset over kairi’s treatment? Because they don’t even have to do ANYTHING? or is it about to be worse?

....and Aqua just....doesn’t even try, she just drops her blade and lets go

this entire scene is suppose to be sad but I’m just getting pissed off at how FUCKING STUPID they all are

“where am i” looks like heaven, ur dead kid

chirithyyyyyyy

....Chirithy def has Kairi’s? voice, def the voice of another character but higher pitched

oh shit Sora’s ACTUALLY dead

is....that xion?

Namine!

...is this Chirithy....Ven’s Chirithy?

Lea never did change into his new clothes

THEYRE HOLDING HANDS

oh, NOW I actually unlocked KG as an actual world

what....did time rewind? it’s the same scene...

LW!!!! Terra’s back!!

WHAT?! EPHEMER?!

oh my god, THIS is where all the KHUX names come in? We help Sora fight the Darkness Tornado

aww, I didn’t see my name :( that didn’t seem like 300 tho

oh, so it IS KH1 Riku

there he is, my love!!! aand he’s gone

oh no, Mickey’s starting to lose hope

oh dang, Mickey knows Time magic? not Stop, but Time

YEN SID!!!!!! HE ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING

man this is why he’s the most powerful magician in the series

oh shit there are 2 girls.....is it really xion?

mannnn Xehanort’s voice is sooooo bad and the accent just gets worse and worse like the dude isn’t even trying to hide it

where’s Terra? He’s not back yet

oh Luxord’s not dead

oh god, I have to fight ALL FOUR of them with Mickey

nvm, just me vs 3

nvm that was easy, just ignore larx and marly

oh, Luxord’s helping....and he dies again

where’s mar and larx tho. i didn’t kill them

oh, larx only helped to stay with marluxia....cause of their past in khux...

marly lost his memory too?

now i gotta kill my bf again....

yup, he never got one....xehanort lied to him....

they’re so mean to him :((((((((((( I mean he deserved it yeah but

nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE KILLED HIMSELF WHYYYY

im legit upset

oh no, it is repliku, not past riku....

the real repliku....is giving ups his chance of life for namine......

wow......kairi got hit twice and fucking passed out....she’s worse than donald.....she didnt do any damage and got knocked out way too fast...

xion :(

also-ran??? wtf is that

ROXAS!!!

SSIC trio is back!

fuckING KAIRI GOT KIDNAPPED A G A I N ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

who the FUCK is “her” they keep talking about

so Saix was more bitter over over not just him but this mysterious girl they were searching for

nooooooo he died in Lea’s arms (also? apologize to Xion for how you treated her you fuck)

...so Xion’s hair is brown now....?

SSIC TRIO HUG!!!!!

Also....why was Xion with them in the first place??? They NEVER said why

naturally, aqua vs terranort and ven vs van

JHBSJKKSD I killed Terranort and ALL he said was “ow??” like he hit his arm on a door

I don’t think they understand that Vanitas didn’t have a choice, he “chose” darkness because he IS darkness, that’s literally what he is, he never had a choice to be what he wanted, he can’t be with light because Ventus is his light

jfc Terranort shook them around so much they passed out

Holy shit IS THE THEORY TRUE??? The guardian is Terra’s Heartless!!!

so Guardian = Heart, Terranort = Body, LW = Soul, dude was literally split into the 3 states

WAYFINDER HUGS!!!!

fucking....they took Kairi to force them to fight the last fights....instead of LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE!!!! if Kairi is so fucking weak as they’re writing her to be, it would’ve been more beneficial to kidnap one of the stronger people (like Mickey!!) instead but no they gotta kidnap the girly girl who’s been a DID in every. single. main. game. so far. :))))))))

lmao killed YMX with the Magic Carasoule

ngl I was kinda expecting YMX to betray himself...

Xehanort just sit here and watches these little cut scenes after every individual defeat....

......oh....ansem sod was gonna betray them....but gave up hope he could change anything....

aww Mickey used Curaga on us right before he knew he was gonna get taken again also I forgot to equip Curaga for myself oops I still have Cura on my slots, why does it not automatically equip them now....nobody wants to ever use the weaker versions, lower magic cost or not

what, Xemnas actually regrets being bad to the org? why, it makes no sense from how he was written before

WHAT HE KILLED KAIRI

“Why her?!” because she’s a fucking girl in this franchise

im so goddamn pissed off, no WONDER everyone is so mad about the ending

....Xehanort’s VA is......so bad............he has no damn emotion..............like, people talk about Aqua and Terra’s VA”s being emotionless? Nah, this dude really sucks

so Riku and Mickey got Stop’d but Donald and Goofy didn’t (or Sora of course

oooooo Ven and Roxas noticed each other....that’s gonna be a convo.....

“Kairi will be alright.” Yeah after everything’s done and over with to keep her out of the action

............so he gets taken out because he’s too distracted to see the 11 people aiming for him? are you fucking kidding me

so Xehanort...is a portal...to Cable Town??

mannn so the guys in those gucci outfits aren’t even the new org, they’re all just old man xehanort himself

wait wait no, they have all the weapons of the org? so are they them or does he just have all their powers??? nvm they’re all him

god even his power-up scream was underwhelming........

yup, a goat, the sin of Lust iirc

.....that fight...was extremely underwhelming....is that it?

“there is one sky, one destiny” dude that’s kairi’s line fuck off

EVEN DON AND GOOF ARE GETTING HITS IN like damn man

he just. straight up took the light from Sora and forced him into Anti-Form? ok

well, at least he actually sounds like he’s dying in pain

ERAQUS! at least he has his voice, that’s def mark hamil still

“that doesn’t mean that i can’t be there for you” you’re the one that fucking killed him you lying motherfucker

...so eraqus apologized to aqua and ven, but not to terra who he also attacked? ok

and so the boyfriends ascend to the afterlife together

where the FUCK is Kairi

so the game

fucking ends

with Kairi fucking dead

THATS THE FUCKING SEQUEL HOOK?!

this whole ending is suppose to be sweet with all the reunions but I’m just royally pissed off

oh, it is Ven’s Chirithy....but he didn’t have his memory come back...

oh! Lea’s new outf- XION GETS ONE TOO AAAAAAAAAA AND ISA!!!!!!!!!!!

Namine!!

they just. found Kairi offscreen.........................................................................

whelp, SoKari def canon SoRiKai is way better tho, as is somewhat RepliNami and Terrqua and MarLarx

wait.....what happened to Sora? Is Kairi actually not back then??

omg, Drake Bell was young Eraqus??? what, it said the Foretellers in the credits....when was that?? I don’t recall ever seeing them.....

............what happened to the card Luxord gave Sora that he said could help turn the tide of the battle? It never came up as far as I can tell..

...uh.....did they forget that Frozen takes place in the summer.....why is the area still covered in snow? it stopped once Elsa controlled her powers.....

yup, there’s Luxu(?) and the KHUX hook, though I don’t see Ava among them

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

XIGBAR IS LUXU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’LL SEE HIM IN MORE GAMES AAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE THEORY WAS- wrong, cause everyone was saying he’s the Master of Masters

oh, I completely forgot about Maleficent and Pete lmao

oh, so Sora really was gone- oh what the fuck are they in the real world now????? no, what the fuck, the FF knockoff in Toy Box was real?? or is it a DLC hook?

#kh3 spoilers /#kingdom hearts 3 spoilers /#khIII spoilers /#kingdom hearts III spoilers /#kh spoilers /#kingdom hearts spoilers /#playing: kingdom hearts

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negasonicimagines · 7 years

Text

Thanks, Wade.

Finally, someone other than Dawna has given me an idea to run with! Thanks so much to @ceylon-morphe286 !! You’re an absolute sweetheart and I had so much fun working with you to create this piece!! (Also, I know Deadpool doesn’t hurt kids, but for comedic purposes let’s just say he does. And, clearly, he’s a good enough marksman to miss on purpose, so he could be fucking with you.)

The battle was quite graphic, you honestly don’t know how you got in the middle of it. One second, you were strolling around the city, listening to Danger Days, the next you were in danger. A boulder flies at your head, and you’re shoved out of the way.

“Hey, dumbass, are you trying to get yourself killed?!”

“You saved me,” you say, gaping at the angel in front of you.

“Kind of my job, shit-for-brains.”

“Thank you, for saving my life and all,” is all you have to say.

“We’ve been over this. It’s what I do. Weirdo. Scram!”

“Agh! What did I do?!” You question the red-suited superhero-looking guy who’s currently shooting at you.

“You bought the last chocolate chip cookie!” he yells back, chasing you through the streets.

Until you’re clipped by a bus.

“Oh my god, she fuckin’ dead,” Wade references a Vine.

“Deadpool!” Your rescuer from the other day groans, recognizing you. “I just saved her life, could you try not ending it?”

“B..but my cookie…”

“Who gives a fuck?” She asks him, before turning her attention to you. “Where are you hurt?”

“I, uh… I might have a bruise on my shin?”

She looks at you critically, and when she helps you up, her hand touching yours, even for a second, makes you blush.

“You’re really lucky you’re not, y’know, dead. That bus was speeding and ran a red light,” She explains, and you barely manage to hear her, too focused on her face. “What’s with that dopey expression of yours? You don’t have a concussion, do you? I don’t want to deal with that.”

“Um… N-no concussion, I don’t think…”

“Good. Well, uh, see you around, I guess. Since you keep getting in danger and all.”

You were helping your cousin’s girl scout troop sell cookies by supervising them as they went door to door when the apartment you were in lit up in flames. All that was there was a Janitor’s cart, and the fire was getting closer and closer. It was blocking your way to the door, but you were close to the window.

“Toss the cleaners out the window so they don’t blow up,” you tell the girls, not even sure where that came from. Fire department is taking too long. “Hey, you guys learned how to braid, right?”

The girls, all terrified, nod. You offer them giant rolls of toilet paper. “Let’s get closer to the window, and we can braid it tight, long, and fast, okay? And then we’ll braid those braids together, to make a rope.”

You and the four girls you’re with work as hard as you can. The fire department gets there once you’re done, and the girls climb down the rope and safely land on the trampoline. They can only get down one at a time, and you’re sure you weigh as much as at the very least one and a half of them.

You accept your fate, glad you could at least help the little girls get to safety when she comes in.

“It’s about time I introduced myself, considering I’ve saved your stupid ass so many times. Negasonic Teenage Warhead.”

“Is that your real name?”

“Fuck no! What kind of shitty ass parents do you think I have? Come on, I’m fireproof, I’ll help you get to safety, whatever your probably dumb and totally not a cool code-name name is.”

“Y/N,” you tell her.

Damn it, why’s she gotta have a name as pretty as her face? Ellie thinks, taking your hand and leading you out of the flames, tossing flaming wreckage out of the way and allowing you to escape.

“Are you trying to kill yourself?” She asks.

“No, I was looking at the sunset. And then I fell.”

She snickers cruelly at this as her mentor reaches down and plucks you from where you dangle off the edge of your roof.

“Young one, there are many resources if you are feeling sad. This is not a solution.”

“I’m not trying to kill myself, I promise!” You inform them. “...I’m just clumsy, that’s all,” you add shyly.

You’re at the farmer’s market about to pluck an apple from a pyramid of fruits.

“Stop right there, Klutzy McGee, you’re not even touching that!” Deadpool stops you.

“Please don’t shoot me! There are plenty of other apples.”

“What? I’m not gonna shoot you, I’m gonna take you to your girlfriend!” He informs.

“I- I don’t have a girlfriend,” you tell DP, maybe he’s got you confused for someone else.

“Not yet!” He chirps, dragging you along by your wrist to a rather large home, well, a mansion. He knocks hard on the door and none other than Negasonic Teenage Warhead answers.

“I got your girlfriend!” He says cheerfully, and you blush deeply, but shake your head.

“She’s...Not my girlfriend.”

“Don’t be like that, Nega-hedgehog YA Novel Atomic Thing! You two would make a great couple!”

She looks at him skeptically, and then you, with a concerned expression. You realize you probably look like a tomato on steroids.

“You’re not going to spontaneously combust, are you? That gig’s kinda taken,” she informs you. ‘Do you want me to call the police?’ she mouths, and you shake your head.

“Ah, Deadpool and Y/N! Come in, have lunch!” Colossus says cheerfully.

You all eat BLTs, though Wade insists on having a knife with his to “feast upon it as the ancient lettuce-hunters would have.”

“So, Y/N, what would you like to do with your future?”

“I don’t know. I like helping people, maybe I’ll do something like be a nurse or a teacher.”

“Ooh, I like that!” Deadpool comments, gesturing with his steak knife and making you a little uneasy. You just know something bad is gonna happen with that knife.

“Ellie, pay attention,” Colossus requests, placing a hand on her shoulder. She shrugs it off, turning up the volume on her headphones to the point where you can hear it.

“You like MCR too?” You ask her.

“Uh, yeah… How can you hear this?”

“You have it cranked up really high,” you inform her.

“I can not hear it,” Piotr informs, and DP agrees. The two look curious.

“Oh, it’s nothing special. Just good hearing.”

“Well, damn. I was hoping you’d have an excuse to spend more time to spend with that grouchy teen over the-” He gestures towards Negasonic with the knife, and accidentally throws it at her face. You manage to catch it rather close to her face, gripping the blade. Blood drips down your wrist from your hand, and she looks at it with wide eyes, as does the rest of the group. “I stand corrected.”

“That is not normal, young one,” Colossus informs.

“Really? I’m sure she had no clue that it wasn’t completely fucking normal to catch knives thrown at people’s faces by a mercenary!” Deadpool snarks.

“Well done,” Ellie remarks, not to you, but to Wade’s sass skills.

“Have you always had such fast reflexes, Y/N?” Piotr asks.

“Uh, I mean, I guess. I would say I’ve been more, more lucky than anything.”

“But you’re always in trouble!” DP disagrees.

“And I’m not dead,” you point out.

“Ah…” Colossus sighs pensively.

Wade gets out one of his many knives from his belt and tosses it at Ellie. You catch this one as well, with your other hand.

“What the hell, Wilson?! Trying to kill me, now?”

“Not at all. Trying to get Y/N to save you. Ooh, watch this!” He aims so it’ll barely brush her shoulder, not that anyone else knows that when he shoots the pistol.

You catch the bullet between your wounded hands like a fly, feeling the burn.

“She’s totally a superhero, Iron Dick! Wait, that’s better for a different superhero in the Marvel universe, forget I said that one.”

“I’m not a superhero, I can barely take care of myself, let alone save people.”

“You saved Ellie three times from one of the best hit men in the world.”

“Well, I only saved her because-”

“Because you want to fuck her!” Wade cuts you off, and you look scandalized, a blush creeping onto your cheeks. Piotr and Ellie look at him like he’s insane, which he is, but- “What?! I see the goo-goo eyes Y/N gives her when she rescues her. I see the way Ellie looks at Y/N’s ass! Someone had to say something!”

You wish the ground underneath you would just vanish, you’re so embarrassed by his words that you don’t even notice his comment about Ellie checking you out.

“Y/N, would you like to join us? You are a gifted young girl and...”

“In case you missed the sign, this is kind of a place for gifted young people,” Wade finishes.

“I- I don’t really think I can help you, I’m sorry,” you deny his request.

“You can. I saw what you did for those girl scouts, and you said you wanted to help people earlier, right?” So, she was listening.

At Ellie’s insistence, you decide: “Oh.. Okay.”

“Yes! Another moody teen to annoy! Finally! I can’t get a rise out of any of the others!”

“Let us take you to the infirmary,” Piotr says.

“I’ll do it,” Ellie offers, walking you down the halls of the surprisingly quiet school. Deadpool follows closely behind, wanting to hear every detail of his OTP’s conversation.

The nurse, a mutant with the power to heal others, quickly fixes your wounds.

“Thanks for doing that, earlier. Saving me, I mean.” “W-well, I mean, I had to make it up to you s-somehow. All- All those times y-you saved me, I mean…” You tell her, more shy now that it’s pretty much just the two of you. You stand, walking over to the sink to wash the gunpowder off your hands. You lean against the counter, but you slip on a stray glob of hand-sanitizer that happened to be on the floor, grabbing onto a cot for purchase and trying to get up only causing you to slip more and more until you give up and let your face smush into the hardwood floor.

Ellie giggles at this, and you swear she sounds like an angel when she laughs.

You get up, rubbing your nose.

“Y’know, if you want to be one of the big shots like Colossus or whatever, you’re gonna have to be a lot less clumsy than that.”

Wade crashes into the infirmary. “Y’all having sex yet? I brought popcorn and dental dams!”

You and Ellie both look at him, like ‘WTF DUDE I’M TRYING BUT YOU KEEP COCK-BLOCKING!’

“Uh… I’m gonna go make some chimichangas. Lucky by Britney Spears, you better confess to Moody Teen Number Three before she puts those earbuds back in!” He dashes away.

“Why does he feel the need to play Fairy God-merc?” You ask her pitifully.

“Confess what to me…?” she asks you.

“Um- Uh- I- I killed the Easter Bunny!” You sigh, isntead deciding to tell the truth: “No, uh… I like you. LIke, uh, like-like you. I think you’re really pretty and mysterious and funny, and, I’m not really any of those things, so it’s cool if you don’t feel that way about me, but-”

She laughs at you, like it’s so funny that someone as horrid as you would like her. “You..Like me?”

“Yeah, it’s dumb, I know, sorry for wasting your ti-” Ellie grabs your arm as soon as you turn around, and kisses you.

Oh, you think. Thanks, Wade.

#marvel #Ellie Phimister #ellie phimister imagine #ellie phimister x reader #negasonic teenage warhead #negasonic teenage warhead x reader #negasonic teenage warhead imagine #negasonicteenageimagines #x-men imagine #x-men fanfiction #marvel fanfiction

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galrakythel · 6 years

Text

voltron s7 liveblogging

episode 1:

so?????? keith wasn’t raised by shiro? of course

keith is so adorable

did he say the emo kid’s doing it???!?!?

dalterion belt? so the older paladins were in the same area of space?

krolia knows keith loves shiro alsjdalksdja

coran is so ridiculous i love him

oh my god honey i shrunk the kids

and then altean linguistics omg

ooooooo so keith and shiro didn’t know each other OOOO so he didn’t raise him i see

holy shit keith and shiro are wonderful omg

but he made that jump to save shiro

but what’s kieth’s dad’s name???

omggggg shiro’s chronically ill this show is something else

yooooooooo adam you in the wrong man

keith never left you shiro, he loves you

romelle is so cute

episode 2:

yo matt is still in space where are you man

okay i’m gonna say it, but i’m wary of romelle

krolia is so annoyed right now i love her

yo is krolia gonna see kolivan???

cosmic wolf is the sweetest space dog ever

so someone got a hold of Lotor’s tech.... so haggar/honerva???

hmmmm pirates?? that stole galra tech and equipment

lance and keith’s teamwork is amazing

yooooo mama krolia protecting her boys

how did romelle take that guy out

you’ve got to be kidding me

these girls can’t work with anyone

episode 3:

coran is still in the black lion

yo this crew looks to be all made of galra hybrids yo

zethrid is so gay, ezor is so gay, and they are gay together

acxa whoa babeeeeeeeeeeee you look so good

acxa got cute ass horns

she’s always been sweet on the one with the flippity hair lmfao wowwwwww ezor

holy hell is this show going with acxa/keith now omfg i love it

acxa is so hot i’m dying

three years ago??!??!!?!?!?!

got damn

episode 4:

yoooo this season is all over the fucking place omg

omg it’s saw

keith is fucking adorable

this episode is cray

zarkon is so cute

what the hell is going on omfg “the dumb one”

omg antok ANTOK YOU BUTT

LOTOR TOO CUTE

wt flying f

haggar snack pack omfg

aslkdjaslkcjoiasjlkdasjd

why does keith always have to do his model pose lmao

episode 5:

yooooo krolia taking care of her kids i love her

kolivan please let it be kolivan

let krolia be reunited with her people

askdjsalkdjasdkajdlasj where are the fucking BLADES?!?!?!?!

are you fucking saying that all these people are fucking ddead

kolivan is dead? are you fuck waittttttt

holy shittttttttttt no way holy fucking hell what the hell just happened

keith you gotta save your entire family again

yo thse druids are fucking scary

so haggar has exiled people what???

allura baby you are the best

let kolivan live please

krolia my sweet peach

episode 6:

what in the hell

these guys cant catch a fucking break yo

lemme say that no sleep keith looks hot as fuck so yeah

they hallucinating

hunk saving the day again

so this thing has been hunting them for ever, angler fish style

these kids need a vacation jfc

episode 7:

i can just feel from “part 1″ that this is gonna be intense

where the hell is matt????

damn sendak done fucked up

let’s see what the hell happens with this garrison

colleen gonna kill these ppl

garrison being shady as usual

sam preach baby preach

but you literally just let the blue lion go, iverson

LMFAO these graduates lmfao

yo though, they all just went through all this resistance and then the galra just dropkicked them???!?!!

colleen is the real mvp

omg the family videos

admiral got her ass handed to her yo

episode 8:

is sendak behind it

yupppp

yoooo he’s got nothing else to do with his time, like just retire my man. get married to some dude, have som children and shut up

iverson yooooooooooooooooooo

is that adam doing what he does best, telling ppl what to do

wowwwwwwww listen to holt

world war 3

veronica??????? is that lance’s sister????

I KNEW ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

episode 9:

everybody be fitting into those things

keith is so pissed right now

omg this is so hearbreaking tbh

their whole planet is just like every other one that theyve liberated before

omg these ppl and they families

keith is such a good boy

this giffin kid is sooooo fucking annoying. he antagonizes everyone

keith and hunk omgggggggggg

these characters have all come such a long way

a royal galran?!?!?!?!!? lmao okay sendak

episode 10:

yo shiro’s knew fucking arm is boss

damn i love the way lance interacts with his sister

sendak has earth locked down holy shit

veronica lmfao

why the hell is he doing this, never mind keith answered

........

where the hell has romelle been these past few meetings and such

and didn’t kolivan say that the altean colony was empty?????

is the romelle theory correct?!??!?!?!?!

allura and lance yessssssssss

yo something weird is going on and i’m not really sure what is happening

they were ready for you bcause there is someone on the inside

ROMELLE

THE FUCKING ADMIRAL WTF

i dont understand your whole planet is going to be killed and you’re okay with that

wow what a fucking traitor

episode 11:

these kids gonna go through another fucking trial

lmfao the admiral thought

she thought yo, she thought

but seriously where the hell is romelle?

yo coran i love you, the castleship is going to power the atlas woot woot

shiro is all grown up, captain shirogane, i love you

shiro, fire when ready, yeah fire into my gay ass

but seriously, where the FUCK is ROMELLE?

remotely. they are remotely controlling them. i love it.

welp snitches get stitches

episode 12:

another part one

i think sendak is just jelly he didint get a chance ot pilot the red lion for zarkon lmao

lmfao yes they will

sendak has already stated he doesnt give a shit about people

but like after this is all said and done theres still going to be a power vacuum within the galra society. this isn’t gonna be over

shiro is so bae when he’s dishing out orders omg

this boy better not die i cant lose him

stop making shiro suffer jfc

shiro better be okay, let shiro retire please

yo showdown since season one

keith saving his husband. AGAIN.

episode 13:

haggar or comet???

oh nooooooo its fucking lotor

or zarkon?

or? who?????!?!?

okay so my guesses: haggar, lotor, or zarkon.... or...

ROMELLE! lmao

part of me really feels like it may be haggar because she had spent her time in some kind of quintessence field but idk

it felt like the komar

it’s haggar omg

it’s fucking haggar who else uses magic like that

wow they cant catch a break

OMFG

omg shay came to visit

kolivan and krolia yooooooooo

acxa yooooooo

haggar took those alteans yo

now let these people rest

#voltron liveblogging #voltron spoilers #*mine #s7

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avengersohyeah · 7 years

Text

Trace

Part 3

Masterlist

Trace Masterlist

A/N : Just ughhh..!!!!! pert 3 everyone, took so long cuz i’m just that lazy

Dean’s POV

I took (Y/N) to his motel to get his things, and of course of all places he has to stay in the same damned motel I left that blonde I fucked last night. ‘Shit ! hope she’s already gone…’ I thought to myself while we walked inside the motel. We stopped at the front door of his room, I watched as he unlock it. And boy, I wonder how could seeing someone unlocking a door be so interesting. The way (Y/N)’s hands twisting the key, I wonder how it felt when that hand playing with my dick. Rubbing it, twisting it like he’s twisting those key, stroke me with those soft looking hands. Grip me hard and going fast, then slow, fast again, and bring my dick to his mouth. “Shit!....” I cursed in a breathless whisper.

“Dean, are you okay ?” (Y/N) asked me, made me realised that I was just almost moan his name after the curse.

“Umm.. yeah it’s fine..i’m fine..” I’m stuttering and sure that my face is flushed right now.

“Are you sure ? because you’re kinda looks flushed, are you sick ?” He reached his hand to my forehead, out of instinct I guess. And boy, his hand are softer that I could ever imagine. “You’re kind of hot Dean…”

“Oh you don’t look to bad yourself little boy.” I countered with a smirk, testing my luck.

“Thanks… but that’s not what I mean, your forehead is warm I think you have a fever.” He chuckled a little, the sound warming my heart. He don’t know that it’s him that doing this to me, making me nervous, flustered and hot just being near him.

“Maybe, you could make it better little boy…” And I swear I said that just in my head, but seeing (Y/N)’s eyes grow wide and smile of amusement on his ridiculously beautiful face, I knew I said it out loud.

“Are you hitting on me right now ? or are you just messing with me ?” he smiled again.

“Of course I’m messing with you…” I laugh, hoping that he wouldn’t realised that I indeed tried to hit on him.

“You are one strange men Dean, dorky for sure… I like it, it means you’re not much of a jerk as what people told me.”

“Wait a minute, a jerk? What kind of things that people told you about me ?”

“Well let’s just say they’re not fond of you, so the things they said was pretty awful..” He smiled at me, and opened the door.

Didn’t took long for him to pack, I only saw him shoving his folded clothes from the drawer into one of his bag. The other bag seemed like it’s never been touched since he arrived here, I was about to ask when he asked me if I’m ready to go back to the Bunker. And my luck decided to leave me when we steped out of the room, she called me with that fake name I gave to her.

“James ! Where were you ? I was looking for you this whole afternoon….and who is this ? why did you steped out of that room together ?” She pointed at (Y/N) who just stood there looking amussed. I reacted fastly, grabbing his shoulder and bring his body flushed to my side.

“See, umm..Brenda, I.. this is my boyfriend..” At my statement (Y/N) whipped his head to look at me. “We were fighting last night.. and I was just so mad and looking for a distraction, and then I met you.. so..”

“First of ll, my name is Britany, and second you..you fucked me with the same dick you used to fuck him ?” She’s fumming right now, and I could tell that (Y/N) is getting annoyed with her creacky screamy voice. When I’m about to reply her, he cut me.

“As a matter of fact honey, yes he did, you’re just a quick fuck for him, and that dick? Indeed the same dick that he used to fuck me. Thanks by the way for giving him a reason to come back to me after your fuck. He said he realised that nothing beats the feel of my asshole around his dick. So move, we have to go home to fuck eachother.” He said those whole thing a lot lower and hushkier, than the way he used to talk, and it sounds hot. I watched in utter amazement that not only he played along, but he also willing to talk about things that he didn’t knew I wanted to do to him. Fuck him good, sounds so hot when it came out of his mouth. He dragged me out from the motel and we hopped in to Baby.

I didn’t start the engine right away, instead I turned to look athim, with amusement smirk plastered.

“What ?!..” he said chuckling.

“I bet that how your asshole would beat the feel of her pussy is right little boy…” And I swear he just blushed. But only a few seconds and he’s back with his playful expresion.

“Ohh, you have no idea Sir…” He wiggle his eyebrows, which makes me explodes in a laughter. He laugh with me for a moment “Seriously James ? And more you have to act as if you’re gay to get out from one night stand? Further more with me?..”

“Sorry..That’s the first thing that came out on my mind. Besides, I didn’t asked you to play along but you did. In fact you’re the one that doing all the talk for me….”

“Oh..my god..Dean winchester, I can’t belive you… not even a thank you for getting rid of her ?” He figned anoyance but failed miserably.

“Well thank you (Y/N) for getting rid of my ‘quick fuck’..” I said to him with and make airy quote gesture, referring to what he called that girl.

“You’re welcome, but next time don’t use me as an excuse please… and by the way, you knew didn’t you ?…”

“Knew about what ?..” I asked confused.

“C’mon don’t play dumb with me..! How did you know that I’m gay ?” He asked me agai, I’m in such an awe that he could read me like that. I was silent for a moment.

“Well, I kinda get the feeling after you asked if I’m hitting on you or messing with you….Also after those sex comments you said to her ?” I looked up at him hopping he wouldn’t be mad with my answer.

He scofed “Seriously ? after the sex coments ?” He made anoyed face, but somehow I can see the faintest amusement behind it.

And I decided to just give him apologetic shrug, then he chuckeled. He’s like a whole different person I met this morning, and the way his eyes shine when he smiles is priceless. Oh man, I’m in a deep shit did I ? Before I get lost further in my own head, I start the engine and drove to the Bunker.

Normal POV

Once they arrived, Sam was already waiting in the livingroom. He then took (Y/N) to the room he prepared earlier. He left (Y/N) to settle in his room downstair to the kitchen where he knows Dean would most likely be.

“Dean ….”

“What ?” he looked up from his plates of burgers they brought on the way home.

“You looked so happy, what’s that all about ?” There’s a teasing tone in that sentence.

“I get to have pies now, so that’s about it…”

“Come on! You know that I wouldn’t buy that right ?” And that’s how Dean told everything to him while they eat their burger. How (Y/N) just made him feeling things he never thought he could after every fucked up shit happened, and further more he feel it towards (Y/N)! a men, one that as much of a men he see as him and Sam, one that he just litteraly met that day. They were still intact with their conversation, and Dean is eating his pie when (Y/N) steped into the kitchen, and both of them jumped from their seats out of surprise.

“Jeezz..(Y/N) don’t sneak up like that! I nearly died because of heart attack years ago, how if that happens now ?” Dean said while still holding his hand to his chest.

“Who’s sneaking? You both are too caught up in your girls talk that is….” There he back with his free mouth again. Sam chuckled and (Y/N) raised an eyebrow “Something funny girafe ?”

“What ? girafe ?” Sam asked, anoyed, but amussed at the same time.

“Cuz you’re tall, get it ?” (Y/N) said as he round the table to grab his burger. “By the way, I need to show you things.”

“Things ? what things ?” Dean asked

(Y/N) lift his bag and spilled everything on it to the table. He lifted the first thing and then explain what that is. “In this hard drive, there are all informations about The Men of Letters, supernatural creatures and how to defeat them, sigils, and things that I could find in my grandpa’s secret room. I burned them after I digitalized everything, I checked the papers, there are no watermarks, or hiden letters that would apear if you put it next to a heat, so … yeah… I think that was the right thing to do. I don’t want anyone or anything find these informations after I left.”

Sam picked the hard drive and give (Y/N) questioning look. “You said you digitalized everything you could find, and how many things did you find actually?”

“ninety eight files, each files contained about twenty something pages of text, and some pictures… not to mentions, the table, diagram, mapping, and else…”

“And what about that ?” Dean pointed to several books that sprawled in front of (Y/N)

“I searched for the kind of language used in this books but find nothing, so I figured it’s best to bring it here. Probably there’s something that could help us in this book, but I’m not sure since I can’t read it.”

When Dean is about to take the book, Sam took it first. Dean gave him an annoyed sigh, he take some kind of blade instead. “And what about these ?”

“I honestly don’t know, I couldn’t find anything about it from the files, it’s not an angel blade but somehow it was sealed. “

“Sealed ?” Sam asked.

“Yeah look..” (Y/N) pull the blade from the seath and show them the signs covering the shaft of the blade “It’s some kind of sigils maybe, I’m not sure, but the letters are somewhat similar to one of these books has.”

And again, Dean picked up something “I gotta say, you’re fully loaded little boy” then he aimed the shotgun to (Y/N) with that teasing smirk of his.

“What can I say ?..” (Y/N) shruged innocently “These things that killed my family are still out there. And for some reason they let me live, and to find hunters like you, at least I gotta pretend like one, so the armos also work as my cover.”

“I gotta say (Y/N) I’m impressed, you’re a lot smarter and prepared than this piemania over here..” he jutted his chin towards Dean that earn him a ‘wtf’ look from the older “But these armos, looks kinda not ordinary for me..”

(Y/N) looked at Sam then Dean, “Thanks for the compliment, I’m aware of that..” Dean gave him ‘wtf’ look to “These armos were self made, silvers, melted with holy fire and the pieces were washed with holy water before it put together” This earned him an impressed yet curious look from the brothers. “What ? I’m not a rookie in supernatural business, and I’m not kidding when I said me and grandpa protected the children we raised.”

“Well, it’s getting late. How about you spill everything else you knew in the morning ?” Sam sugested to (Y/N) which he gladly accept, putting the things back to his bag.

“Thank’s Dean, Sam for agreeing to help me, and you also opened your door to me..i’m ..i’m .. thank you..” Then he turned to go back to his room. The brothers wathed him leave, and when (Y/N) is upstair Dean looked at Sam.

“I’m in a deep shit Sam, I keep on staring at his butt these whole time…”

“Well, that’s something new, you usualy just stares at something’s butt that also have boobs….” With that Sam leave Dean to get a sleep himself.

Dean sit a little bit longer, thingking over what he should do about (Y/N). Should he make a move? He know (Y/N) is gay anyway, but how if these things he felt towards the boy is just temporary attraction or just admiration, even worse if it’s just a pity that the boy is somewhat had gone through things like him and Sam. Whatever it is he need to find out soon, because they don’t know until when they had peaceful day before another big world threatening situation would come.

Taggs : @thegreatficmaster @supernaturalimagine @supernaturaldaily @waywardwinterfics @buckyywiththegoodhair @angryschnauzer @mrgrant9559-blog @kaylzjordan @rawritsmeh @supernaturalfanfiction-com @after-avenging-hours @winchesterenthusiast @themerlintrashcanwayward-warrior-universe @themorningtrashcan @izzywinchester

#supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #supernatural imagine #supernatural trash #dean winchester x reader #dean x male!reader #dean winchester #sam winchester #sam x reader #Sam x male!reader #dean winchester x you #dean x male reader #dean fanfiction #dean winchester fic #dean fanfic #supernatural series #Trace the series #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x male reader

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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years

Note

gotta b honest I’m confused. azazel was a YED, so was Lilith, so is Asmodeus,,,, am I missing someone? Is there meant to be a fourth?

Lilith had white eyes! :D

She and Alastair represent an uncategorised but clearly super important upper echelon of the Hell order - she was the “first” demon Lucifer made by hand, and he also made the Princes of Hell by hand but the implication is that she outranks them. Alastair basically ran the torture part of Hell and had white eyes like Lilith’s pretty much to impress on us how dangerous he was on first impression, so clearly also was made by Lucifer, and was probably about as old as the entire nonsense like Lilith. But they never explained him, he just kinda was there and was awful :P He was obviously less powerful than Lilith but it’s debatable if anything other than Sam or other things like the Colt, angel blades and other things they didn’t have ready access to at the time but make things easier now, could kill him. The demon knife didn’t do very much to him but I think it did more than when Cain was stabbed, where it did nothing. (About as much damage as it did to Abaddon, I guess. She and Alastair had pretty identical intro fight scenes)

Cain, who never showed his eyes, was a demon who probs had black eyes if he would ever have shown them since he and demon!Dean were made in the exact same way, and he was indirectly made a demon by Lucifer via the Mark. Cain then went on to make, 3rd hand to Lucifer by now, the Knights of Hell - which included Abaddon who was also the only other one than Cain or Dean we ever saw, since Cain said he killed them all and so unless we have a massive flashback to whatever the heck happened circa the mid 1800s in Hell because wtf seriously there was a Thing and no one has ever talked about what it was but I am SO CURIOUS since season freakin 2 - we’re never going to see another Knight of Hell on the show.

All the normal demons have black eyes like them. Cross roads demons all have red eyes and it seems to just be a style thing so apparently you can do that and upgrade to red smoke if you’re into that sort of thing… I feel like the crossroads department has a lot more magic and resources to limited ends (e.g. can only grant wishes and harvest souls in return, but that’s not exactly a weak power in its own context… But crossroads demons seem pretty weak in other contexts especially combat ones, and Crowley was always hoarding weapons since long before we knew him, which makes me think he always wanted extra firepower in case of emergency)

But, anyway. Princes of Hell. Azazel was a unique yellow-eyed demon for 12 seasons of the show, although in 3x04 Casey pointed out they didn’t call him “yellow eyes” and he had an actual name, which left room to suggest that there could be OTHER yellow-eyed demons out there and Azazel was just the named one we’d met, since they needed a distinction and he wasn’t “the” yellow eyed demon to them. In 12x12 we met Ramiel who was a shock YED for Mary and Sam to get to grips with their old mytharc, and he described that there were 4 princes of hell: Azazel, himself, Dagon and Asmodeus. The show does things in 4s quite a lot so it makes sense, aside from being very helpful for the plot here. We saw him and Dagon last season, and they’re both dead now, so Asmodeus is a loose end from this collection of demons, that they basically put in their pocket in 12x12 to use in season 13 :P

… I should probably tl;dr this mess. Sorry, I’m still a tired mess and not good at answering things :D

The YED are officially known as, since 12x12, the “Princes of Hell” and are Azazel, Ramiel, Dagon and Asmodeus, in order of introduction.

Biblically, i think they’re all hardcore old demons of incredible power and fame and may or may not also be fallen angels - I have a feeling some of them are interchangable in the source material that the show has also pulled angels like Gadreel from. I swear somewhere or other he and Azazel are mentioned as being the same thing in the Bible but then the show just took them in different ways for its own mythology. Considering a ton of people like the “Azazel is a fallen angel” theory it’s kinda neat. But I may also be totally wrong about this part because I know very little about the bible and don’t retain info about it very well. Except perhaps about my wrong impressions based on half-reading passages on wikipedia :D Also I’m rambling again after I meant to end this. Sorry!

#Asks #I hate tagging things as just like 'hell' or 'demons' because those are random tags that who knows who we share them with on tumblr #I really wish I could come up with an interesting tag for it because I have a lot of rambling thoughts about hell on the show #and have reblogged some nice metas about it as well #all of which I'm hesitant to tag with boring old tags about hell #pfft #hey I will be able to rest for the rest of this week #maybe I will make sense and be able to answer things sensibly soon :D #13x02 #12x12

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preservationandruin · 7 years

Text

Words of Radiance Part Five Part Two

HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH, END OF BOOK 2.

Adolin loses a friend, Cloud Yells at Old Man, Shallan finds a circle, Renarin kills a rock, Shallan teleports shit, Kaladin fights in the sky, Szeth is upset he’s alive, “What are you going to do, stab me?” is said by man stabbed, Old Man Yells at Cloud, and Hoid meets a friend of ours.

Anyway, Adolin has just been given the order to attack the Parshendi. Sureblood hates the song, and also the fact that there are red light on the Parshendi’s arms. He’s right to worry (I say that about Adolin a lot)--that’s lightning. Also Adolin asks if the bridge four people want to come, as Kaladin doesn’t want them to fight against Parshendi...

Drehy: They’re not Parshendi anymore Adolin: nice

Aaaand LIGHTNING.

They electrocuted Sureblood. Adolin immediately isn’t a trained warrior--he’s a youth on a battlefield, unsure of what to do, having just lost one of his greatest friends.

Fortunately, Stormform lightning behaves like real lightning and is a bitch and a half to aim. Also, turns out Shardplate absorbs it--makes sense, it was designed to fight Voidbringers. You’d have to be able to resist lightning. All it does is vibrate, and the helm darkens in response to the lightning to stop it from being blinding. Also, these Parshendi release the red lightning-shaped spren when they die.

Over to Shallan, desperately mapping. She notes that the wind is weird, almost like the wind before a highstorm. Or an everstorm. Hurry up!!

Also, Renarin is there to protect the scholars. He’s just...lurking in the back. Also, the other scholars think Patterns is a Voidbringer, and Pattern is HURT, he is OFFENDED, he has dedicated his LIFE to the RADIANTS and THIS is the thanks he gets????

Also, Renarin is fascinated by Pattern--probably because he’s like oh hey, another spren bonded to a person. Pattern has learned how to diss people. And Shallan gets the information that one of the plateaus--

It breaks the pattern.

That’s where you look for the Oathgate.

Also apparently Renarin can look awkward in shardplate.

Also, Navani’s got her new devices up and running, and is ready to start them going to back Roion.

And then Dalinar hears the voice he calls the Almighty, in his ears. I’m sorry you hvae to die this way.

Over to Kaladin. The Diagram bit says that all of the evil spren they are tracking “have some relevance to precognition” which doubly makes me suspect who they’re from. All we know about Cultivation is that she’s good at precognition...

And Kaladin is trying to get to Elhokar. There are no guards at the doors--that’s a problem. And one nice thing is that he doesn’t feel suddenly certain--he’s still confused, uncertain, but he’s trying.

That’s what we can do, I guess. You don’t always get the world telling you what you did was right. Sometimes all you can do is just what lets you sleep at night. And Kaladin notices that the guards--they’re not bridge four, but they’re in bridge four uniforms. That’s just wrong. Get your grubby hands off of those uniforms, you didn’t earn those.

Kaladin, while injured with a bum leg, manages to knock out two men. This is why you don’t fuck with Kaladin Stormblessed. He’ll be half-dead and still fucking kick your ass, you fake-ass Bridge Four wannabes.

And we get the moment of worry where Elhokar is on the couch unmoving. Surprise he’s fucking wasted, Kaladin.

Back to Adolin. Navani is countering the darkness with huge fabrials that project white light--sure, Radiant technology is specially to counter voidbringers, but good old engineering and ingenuity is useful too! The Parshendi are trying to bring Adolin down with ropes now, but it doesn’t work. Adolin also realizes they’re just stalling him--they want to keep him away from the singers, not actually fight him. If they wanted to fight him, they’d send Eshonai.

Also, Adolin decides to climb to the singer’s plateau on his own--and he doesn’t feel the Thrill.

Oh, that’s interesting. Is this a psychological tool? Do Alethi not feel the thrill when they fight Voidbringers, as a way to disconcert and unnerve them? Or is it something else?

We don’t know. Also, Adolin remembers Shallan talking about the inner plateaus and how they’re symmetrical, so he can do his attack.

Back to Dalinar, yelling at the voice he thinks is the Almighty.

“I am sorry. You have striven hard. But I can do nothing. [...] I am the one left behind. I am the sliver of Him that remains. I saw His corpse, saw Him die when Odium murdered Him. And I...I fled. To continue as I always have. The piece of God left in this world, the winds that men must feel.”

And that’s what you’re still doing, Stormfather. God, even the Stormfather is broken. Run. Hide. I’m sorry I can’t help you, Eshonai, I’m sorry I can’t help you, Dalinar--but also, urging the honorspren not to go. Be like him. Run. Hide. Stay as you are.

Pattern mentioned that spren are static and unchanging without the help of humans. But the Stormfather--he’s not trying to connect. He’s just trying to Hide.

I think bonding Dalinar will be good for him.

And Dalinar goes for Navani to help him. “Navani! I need a miracle!”

Well, she’s going to deliver. First, rain attractors to free up their archers despite the rain. It draws away Parshendi, and Roion has good archers. And then he goes into battle.

Anyway back to wasted Elhokar. Kaladin is just like. What in all hell and fuck are you doing.

So we have one fucking wasted guy and one guy with a bad leg and they’re trying to move quickly. God, all this needs is Yakety Sax playing over it. Aaaand Elhokar gets knifed. He thinks he’s dead, and Kaladin is just like FUCKING GOD PUT PRESSURE ON THAT, YOU’LL LIVE.

Also, Kaladin ripped his sutures out defending Elhokar, and Elhokar’s like, we’re both dead. And Kaladin has a realization.

“Fleet kept running,” Kaladin growled, getting back under Elhokar’s arm. “What?” “He couldn’t win, but he kept running. And when the storm caught him, it didn’t matter that he’d died, because he’d run for all he had. We all die in the end, you see. So I guess what truly matters is just how well you’ve run. And Elhokar, you’ve kept running since your father was killed, even if you screw up all the storming time.”

There it is. This is why I’m fond of Elhokar. Because yeah he’s a fuckup and not a great person but...he tries.

Aaaaand then Moash shows up, with Graves.

Over to Shallan, of course. Renarin doesn’t have his glasses on, and Shallan realizes that the regularity of the circle of this plateau is because the whole thing is the Oathgate. Renarin is starting to have flashbacks about his visions, which Shallan discards ( ‘Great. He was creepy and whiny.”)

I gotta say, I love Shallan but...her interactions with Renarin here rub me the wrong way. Maybe it’s becasue Renarin’s eventual breakdown here is far too similar to my own panic attacks, and Shallan’s dismissiveness and attitude remind me too much of people who are dismissive of my own panic. I get why she does it but...still.

Also Rock calling Shallan ‘cousin’ because of the hair (and the fact that they do share ancestry) is great. Shallan asks Renarin to kill the rock.

Over to Adolin, as he cuts through a hollow mound to attack the Parshendi singers from behind. They don’t come out of the song easily, which makes Adolin’s job very easy here. Again, he feels no Thrill, and is horrified by this even as he realizes that it’s necessary.

Why isn’t Adolin feeling the Thrill? The previous reason for not having the Thrill has always been Radianthood, but I’m not discarding the previous psychological warfare option. He finally is just too nauseated and drops his blade--and then Eshonai happens.

He can do this, though--this is an honest fight, and he pulls his sword out of mist again and thanks, mentally, either it or Eshonai as he starts to fight.

Over to Dalinar again, as he got taken out of the battle by a spear. He’s getting old, he thinks. Also:

“Storms,” The surgeon said. “Highprince, you’re all scars under here. How many times have you been wounded in the shoulder?” “Can’t remember.” “How can you still use your arm?” “Training and practice.” “That’s not how it works...I mean....storms...”

Someone might have been using stormlight more than he thought, especially if he’s been getting the visions for a while. Either that or Dalinar is just completely inhumanly good at what he does. Also, Roion is fucking panicking.

Also, back to Cloud Yells At Old Man, as the Stormfather apologizes again and fucks off to nowhere, just saying he’ll send a Highstorm at them. Dalinar calls him out for abandoning them, and we get this:

“I AM CALLED. I MUST GO. A DAUGHTER DISOBEYS. YOU WILL SEE NO FURTHER VISIONS, CHILD OF HONOR. THIS IS THE END.”

Dalinar: oh fuck me: SYLPHRENA!!!

Anyway, back to Kaladin. Moash is like wtf are you doing and Kal’s like, unlike some people, I have a conscience. Moash asks if Kal would attack a member of Bridge Four, and Kaladin is like, you aren’t one anymore--and neither am I, but I’m trying to change that.

“But Moash, we’re not going to be this kind of men. Murders in dark corridors, killing a drunk man because we find him distasteful, telling ourselves it’s for the good of the kingdom. If I kill a man, I’m going to do it in the sunlight, and I’m going to do it only because there is no other way.”

THERE’S the Captain Kaladin we know and love.

Back to Shallan! Renarin noticably sighs in complete relief when he can dismiss his blade--maybe because THE SCREAMING. Renarin remains the most lowkey badass person in the books. Pattern starts pointing out that the Highstorm and the Everstorm will collide right on top of them.

Again, Renarin winces at summoning his Blade, and the metal resists it (wonder if it’s aluminum?). Renarin’s Blade doesn’t open the key, though.

Because it’s dead, but Shallan doesn’t know it yet.

Anyway, Adolin v Eshonai in the middle of a storm, which is badass as FUCK. And Adolin notices that Eshonai is experiencing the Thrill. That’s alarming. Also, he sees the building Everstorm and is like. Fuck.

Adolin has lost one gauntlet, unfortunately. He reads Eshonai well, though--the Thrill is making her reckless. Her recklessness makes her ignore her surroundings.

He makes her pitch into the chasm. Fuckin’ checkmate. Don’t duel Adolin Kholin, even in Stormform, even in full Plate and Blade, even in the middle of two brewing hurricanes, in your home turf. You will lose.

Also he nearly falls in himself and the two bridgemen with him are like, fuck no, get back here dude and the pair of them singlehandedly hold him out of the chasm while he’s in full Plate. Others help get him up, but damn. Do not underestimate Bridge Four.

He turned to the bridgemen, Skar and Drehy. “I guess,” Adolin said, “I don’t need to wonder if you two can keep up with me or not.” “This was nothing,” Skar said. “Yeah,” Drehy added. “Lifting fat lighteyes is easy. You should try a bridge sometime.”

I like how Adolin has gone from resenting the bridgemen guards to, now, appreciating them and realizing that yeah, they’re here because they’re damn good at their jobs.

And then he just happens to grab Szeth’s arm as he’s going through the camp and whOOPS.

Back to Kaladin. Moash doesn’t bring out his blade--he just punches Kaladin with the plate Kaladin gave him, causing ribs to splinter and him to cough blood. Those are some fucking shitty internal injuries, Kaladin.

And, as Moash and Graves plan how to kill Elhokar and make it look like Szeth, Kaladin hears Syl on the wind. And he remembers the Ideal--I will protect those who cannot protect themselves--and pushes himself to his knees in front of Elhokar.

And somehow he manages to stand up. Holy fuck Kal. Moash is mildly horrified, and is about to actually kill him, but hesitates.

Hesitates enough for Kaladin to listen to Syl, and say the Words. I will protect even those I hate, so long as it is right.

And Syl flies in, turns into mist--silver mist--it grows--and then there she is, a glowing blue Shardblade. Every single Stormlight lamp in the hall blinks out. And then Kaladin explodes in light. All the shutters slam open and let the wind in, as frost coalesces behind him into the shape of wings.

Don’t fuck with Kaladin Stormblessed.

Graves starts yelling about the Diagram, which, fuck that--and Graves says one thing too much, about separating Kaladin from Dalinar.

Whoops.

Back to Dalinar. Aladar has won his plateau--god bless. And then Adolin crashes through the tend, missing armor, with a nosebleed, and then Dalinar sees it--Szeth.

Renarin is having his Breakdown, writing out all zeroes--the last moment of the countdown.

Dalinar is preparing to die. He tells Adolin to remain uncorrupt, and then looks up at Szeth. He notices that Szeth is mad.

Thank you for extending my agony by not dying easily. God, Szeth has been shattered.

Back to Adolin, who is not doing well. And Adolin sees Dalinar fighting--and Dalinar fights beautifully.

Dalinar did not fight for his life. His life hadn’t been his own for years. He fought for Gavilar. He fought as he wished he had all those years ago, for the chance he had missed. In that moment between storms--when the rain stilled and the winds drew in their breaths to blow--he danced with the slayer of kings, and somehow held his own.

God, I hope Gavilar actually is the kind of person who deserves that dedication. Dalinar doesn’t win--he couldn’t, really. He realizes, in this moment, that even if he was awake, even if he was sober--he couldn’t have beaten Szeth. He never could have saved Gavilar. And--that brings him peace. He sets down the guilt of six years.

And as Szeth stalks toward Dalinar, Roion--the coward--tackles him. God, these men were loyal to Dalinar, at the end. Roion gets fucking catapulted up into the air, screaming. Adolin tries to fight, but...no, he can’t. Szeth has nothing to lose and is an exceptional fighter with literal magical powers.

Roion falls from the sky, and Adolin finds himself fighting alongside Bridge Four, who fear neither god nor man.

And then Szeth catapults Dalinar into the sky. To his credit, Dalinar doesn’t scream. Adolin chases after Szeth, crying, but Szeth disarms him so quickly that Adolin’s wrist breaks. He’s stuck kneeling as Szeth moves to kill him, still seeming mad.

And then he sees something glowing in the air, drifting like a leaf. But it’s a person. It’s Dalinar, streaming Stormlight. And Szeth loses his shit--because if Taravangian was telling the truth, and Kaladin had a Honorblade with Regrowth--

--there’s no way he could have the Gravitation to stop Dalinar’s ascent.

Sorry, Taravangian, you fucked up.

And then, like a falling star, a blazing fireball of light and motion shot down in front of Dalinar. It crashed into the ground, sending out a ring of Stormlight like white smoke. At the center, a figure in blue crouched with one hand on the stones, the other clutching a glowing Shardblade.

His eyes afire with a light that somehow made the assassin’s seem dull by comparison, he wore the uniform of a bridgeman, and bore the glyphs of slavery on his forehead.

HEY FAKE WINDRUNNER, TIME TO SEE WHAT A REAL WINDRUNNER CAN DO.

And of course, Bridge Four has plenty of Stormlight on them, and Teft has a special command for “give Kaladin stormlight.” God bless Bridge Four.

Renarin is still breaking down, and Shallan is still unsympathetic, looking at the Oathgate--and realizing that what they have there is a fabrial. Back to Dalinar, watching Kaladin streak up into the air chasing Szeth.

Adolin, of course, takes a moment to say I told you so. It wouldn’t be a book climax without Adolin saying I told you so! It’s a tradition at this point. And Sebarial is still a gift to all Roshar:

Sebarial raised a cup of wine toward Dalinar. “Hope you don’t mind,” Sebarial said. “We liberated your stores. They were blowing past at the time, headed for certain doom.” Dalinar stared at them. Palona even had a novel out and was reading.

And on top of this they organized Roion’s army and got them moving again. I fucking love Sebarial and Palona.

Kaladin shoots up, following Szeth. Syl is back--Syl is alive--and Kaladin is ecstatic. Syl also explains the highstorm:

“My father,” Syl said, voice growing solemn. “He brought the storm, rushing it’s pace. He’s...broken, Kaladin. He doesn’t think any of this should be happening. He wants to end it all, wash everyone away, try and hide from the future.”

Yeah, I really think partnering with Dalinar will work well for the Stormfather. Looks like both of them are broken. God, Honor’s death shattered everything. Cultivation and the Stormfather are both just completely apathetic afterward.

And Sylphrena turns into a spear, giving the final proof that Kaladin can’t have stolen an Honorblade.

Back to Shallan, quickly infusing all of the lanterns to make the room-fabrial work. Adolin shows up and is like jesus fuck is EVERYONE a Radiant now.

The fight between Szeth and Kaladin is just cinematically amazing. Two flying people with huge weapons fighting above two crashing hurricanes. Both people are glowing. And Shallan has a revelation.

“There is something wrong with your Blade, and with all Blades. All but mine. Pattern!”

And Szeth tries to get to Dalinar--but oops. The army vanished.

And meanwhile, the rest of the armies are in Urithiru, because the ENTIRE PLATEAU was the portal. The radiants didn’t half-ass things.

Back in the Windfight, Szeth and Kaladin are fighting, and the windspren show up to help light Kaladin’s way. Szeth realizes that Kaladin is a Radiant. He was never Truthless--and Kaladin points out that he never had to kill. And Kaladin gets the Honorblade.

And Kaladin genuinely smiles.

Anyway, the Shattered Plains have been re-shattered, and Kaladin can’t find Szeth’s body. And Bridge Four shows up! They’re here for their boss.

AND KALADIN LEARNS RLAIN IS BACK! Teft also notes that it looked like some of Bridge Four were glowing themselves--squires. Kaladin is giving people some powers. Also Kaladin learns that his eyes are pale blue and is like FUCK.

Back to Shallan, trying to understand Urithiru. Pattern explains that Shallan has to speak Truths to progress. Elhokar is put “somewhere safe.” and Kaladin fucking grins about it--and then. The absolutely stellar scene of Elhokar getting bossed around by LOPEN’S MOM.

I fucking love this. It’s also what Elhokar needs. A good wholesome ego-crushing session. Lopen knows her rant so well that he can mouth along to it. And Lopen starts growing an arm.

Over to Moash, sulking and realizing he was totally played. Yeah...yeah.

Over to Shallan, exploring Urithiru... and getting a note from the Ghostbloods with her actual name in it. Whoops. Also, we get that Helaran sought out the Skybreakers. Now that’s an interesting note. What the fuck were you doing, Helaran?

Also, Shallan refuses to let things get awkward with Adolin now that she’s a Radiant. Pattern also picked a room for Shallan--and it’s one with a similar layout to her father’s study. Pattern points out that they need her. They need her with her truths. And subconsciously, she lightweaves the room into that room.

“Why did she try to kill me, Pattern?” Shallan whispered.

Shallan confronting exactly how fucking broken her childhood was hurts. She manifested powers as a child...and her mother and her mother’s lover tried to murder her. Her mother’s lover holding her father down as Shallan’s mother came for her with the knife, and Shallan killed both of them.

Shallan killed them, her father took the blame, and that destroyed him, and then their entire family.

“I hate you,” She whispered, staring into her mother’s dead eyes. “I know,” Pattern buzzed softly. “Eventually, you will kill me, and you will have your revenge.” “I don’t want revenge. I want my family.”

I’d like to note that, in my mind, this doesn’t excuse what Shallan’s father did. Yes, he went through something traumatic--being held down while his child daughter is nearly murdered, then seeing her murder his wife and her lover, and then taking the blame for it. That is awful and not something that he should have dealt with.

He beat his second wife to death. He repeatedly abused people in front of Shallan to keep her terrified and under control. He ordered his son assassinated. He would have let Jushu be dragged off by debt collectors. He traumatized his children time and again--look at Balat. He dressed Shallan up like a doll. He would have beaten both Balat and Eylita to death had Shallan not poisoned him.

That’s unforgivable, just as what Shallan’s mother did was unforgivable. Shallan, at least, only acted to save her own life or her brother’s.

Anyway, we’re over to Amaram. He’s writing to Restares and going ON and ON about ~bringing back the Heralds~ and ~return the dominance of the church~ BITCH GOD IS DEAD. THE HERALDS ARE LITERALLY RUNNING AROUND AND MOST OF THEM GIVE NO SHITS. THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN SAVE YOU ARE OTHER HUMANS LIKE YOU, BUT WITH MORE HONOR.

Also, Amaram felt like he was being watched at one point, which is probably relevant. God, I hope someone saw him. I hope someone fucking stabs him in the back.

“Dalinar thought him a murderer.” ASSHOLE YOU ARE ONE.

The thing that kills me. The thing that kills me is that Amaram does have regrets. But what are they? That he’s not friends with Dalinar anymore and that he didn’t kill Kaladin when he had the chance.

Kaladin. One of the Radiants. One of the few chances they have left against the Voidbringers. And Amaram wishes he killed him, just so that Amaram himself hadn’t lost power.

I fucking loathe this man. He’s the scum of the earth, Wit was right. Amaram can’t even fucking believe that Taln is actually darkeyed.

Iyatil tries to assassinate Amaram, but fails. Dammit, you almost had him.

Szeth wakes up and is immediately furious that he isn’t dead. Nale is there, having brought him back to life--and deemed him worthy of being a Skybreaker.

Which is pretty damn hypocritical of the dude who thinks making new Radiants will bring the Desolation, but WHATEVER. Anyway, Szeth gets Nightblood! Hello, Would you like to destroy some evil today?

VERY interesting Diagram piece. “The parshendi/one of them/yes/they are the missing piece/push for the alethi to destroy them outright/before this one obtains their power/it will form a bridge”

I really hope this is about Radiant Eshonai.

Dalinar is having a weird flashback to his childhood, including the fact that he had a bunch of wooden swords carved like shardblades. Aaaand he wakes up.

Over to Adolin. He’s trying to figure out what he is anymore, in this weird world with Radiants and shit. He goes down a hallway...and happens to run into Sadeas.

Also, Adolin sees a painting of mythological creatures, one of which sounds like a lion.

Adolin realizes that Sadeas is going to pretend this is all a show--all some game Dalinar is playing. As though everything is all still a game to him. And Sadeas makes a real mistake, telling all this to Adolin.

Because Adolin has literally waited two 1000-page books to murder him.

“My father,” Adolin said with a grunt, sweat from his nose dripping down onto the blade of the knife, “thinks I’m a better man than he is.” He strained, and felt Sadeas’ grip weaked. “Unfortunately for you, he’s wrong.”

Honestly, what did Sadeas expect, telling Adolin this shit? An “oooOOOO wow you’re playing this game so well???” This isn’t a game anymore--and Sadeas just couldn’t fucking see that. Adolin dumps his Blade out a window and leaves, hiding that he was there.

And Dalinar ascends, to the very top of the city. Also, apparently Urithiru has fabrial elevators. Fuck yeah. And then Dalinar just yells at the sky some. Of course, Taravangian “listened” to Dalinar. Fuck that guy.

So Dalinar fucking bonds the Stormfather. Also, Dalinar might now be able to interpret thunder. And he knows the second oath, without having been told. Stormfather is like FUCKING FINE, BONDSMITH, YOU’RE DOOMED BUT FUCK THIS.

And Renarin outs himself as a Truthwatcher. Renarin is terrified, and Dalinar is very proud of him.

And then Hoid runs into Jasnah. God, I want part of Oathbringer to be Hoid and Jasnah Shitty Road Trip Across Apocalyptic Roshar. Also, we get that Tanavast bought Hoid drinks once.

And that’s book two! Edgedancer will be...later. Definitely not at 2am. Hope you all enjoyed this!

#stormlight archive liveblog #cultivation is that you #dalinar voice: unite them #FUCK YEAH BRIDGE FOUR #the most important words a man can say #adolin told you so #i loathe meridas amaram #why is nale like this #radiant! eshonai!

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choupetit · 7 years

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GOT Recap: The Spoils of War

Airdate: 8/6/2017 ; Season 7, episode 4

So, I don’t mean to be dramatic or anything, but…OMG, THIS WEEK’S GAME OF THRONES WAS FREAKIN’ AMAZING!!! This episode was a beautiful gift from the TV gods with more reunions, more Jon and Dany, more Littlefinger side eye, and dragons galore! I’ve managed to gather up my jaw from the floor to bring you the recap of “The Spoils of War”, so let’s not waste another moment!

But Jaime, I Want A Castle NOW!

Ah, the spoils of war, indeed! The Lannister army has packed up all the goodies and gold they’ve won after their surprise attack on House Tyrell and they’re on their way home from Highgarden. Jaime Lannister grabs a hefty bag of gold from the money wagon and hands it to Bronn, then sends the driver on his merry way to King’s Landing. Mopey Bronn has a bad case of First World problems as he bitches and moans about how he wants a proper reward, like…oh, I don’t know, a castle…maybe even the one they just stormed. Jaime is all, “Seriously, dude? Quit yer whining, you just got a load of cash. Daenerys Targaryen would probably evict you in a week. And besides, castle upkeep is pricey. Once you’ve paid the whole Downton Abbey staff and fed the moat monster, there’s barely enough money left to fill your Olympic-sized pool with champagne every day. You’ll get your pick of castles once we’ve won the war.” Bronn musters up the strength to silence his inner Veruca Salt as Randyll Tarly and Dickon (whom Jaime keeps calling Rickon) appear, and Jaime sends the three men off to shake down the local farmers for their harvest.

Meanwhile at the Red Keep in King’s Landing, Queen Cersei tells the Iron Bank representative that she’s able to repay the full debt she owes. The money is on its way as they speak. The rep is duly impressed and informs Cersei that the bank will be happy to make a new loan for her next venture: Restoring her rule in Westeros. Cersei shares that she’s growing her army and has reached out to the Golden Company in Essos - your basic mercenary placement agency. As soon as the gold arrives, the rep assures Cersei that she’ll have the Iron Bank’s full lending support to pay for her hired guns.

I Know What You Did Last (Long) Summer

At Winterfell, Petyr Baelish aka Littlefinger has a one-on-one meeting in Bran’s chambers to give him a gift: The dagger that was used in the assasination attempt against young Bran shortly after his tower-falling accident. The blade is made of Valyrian steel, btw. Littlefinger muses that it could be argued that this dagger launched the War of the Five Kings. He claims that it is his mission to protect the Stark children - anything Bran needs, Littlefinger is his guy. Gee, coming from a slimeball who arranged the worst marriage ever between Sansa and Vile Ramsay, I’d have to say that’s a hard pass. When Bran asks Littlefinger if he knows to whom the dagger belonged, Baelish says no. Littlefinger goes on to ponder that it’s so weird, doncha think, how the dagger led to all the craziness that happened to the Starks, and made Bran who he is today. He remarks that Bran must have seen unfathomable things beyond the Wall (cue laughter) and sympathizes that it must be odd to return to Winterfell among so much chaos. To which Bran flatly replies “Chaos is a ladder.” A hint of alarm flashes across Littlefinger’s face, and luckily for him, Meera Reed appears at the door and he has the perfect excuse to leave.

Quick side note: If you, like me, were totally confused by Bran’s line, then rejoice for the interwebs! Apparently it’s a callback to a conversation Littlefinger had with Varys back in season 3, when the former said “Chaos is not a pit. Chaos is a ladder.“

Bran just out-creeped the resident creeper! Looks like Lord Baelish is going to have to recalibrate all those battles he is always fighting in his head to predict every scenario that could happen in real life!

As for Meera, she’s come to bid farewell. She tells Bran that she’d like to stay, but she needs to return to her family what with the snow zombie apocalypse coming, and Bran is about as safe as it gets now that he’s home. Bran goes, “K, cool. Gracias. Bye, Felicia.” Dumbfounded, Meera is all, “Really?! That’s all you’ve gotta say? Wtf, dude. Lots of people died or almost died helping you.” And Bran’s all, “Yeah, so…I’ve got a lot of data uploaded to my brain and it’s kinda hard to keep track of emotions and personality and stuff. But hey, girl, I vaguely remember what it’s like to have feelings and the old me is stoked that you were there for me, but the new me just can’t do this whole attachment thing right now.” Meera’s face crumbles and she says what we all have been thinking, "You died in that cave.” She fails to add “You may want to tone it down on the voyeuristic creepazoid thing, which is freaking everybody out."

Just outside of Winterfell, Arya has arrived and is trying to convince some a-hole bouncers at the gate that this is her home. They don’t believe her and tell her to eff off, but she talks them into letting her into the courtyard while she waits for them to get Sansa. The guards squabble amongst themselves and when they turn, she’s gone.

When the guards give Sansa the news of her little sister’s return, she knows exactly where to look for Arya. In the underground mausoleum, Arya stands at her father’s grave when Sansa arrives. It’s a sweet reunion as Arya’s first words are "Do I have to call you Lady Stark now?” And Sansa replies, stone-faced, “Yes.” She breaks into a smile, and the sisters hug warmly. Each hints to the other that they’ve been though hell since they last saw each other. Arya is eager to know if Sansa really killed King Joffrey, and when Sansa says no, Arya tells her he was at the top of her kill list. Sansa thinks she’s joking and Arya lets her. Sansa informs her baby sister that Bran is home, too, and the look on her face screams “Gurl, things are pretty cray around here."

The sisters meet up with their brother at the Godswood Tree, which is Bran’s version of “Central Perk”…without the friends, java, or general joie-de-vivre. Arya throws her arms around Bran, who looks like he’s absentmindedly trying to recall typical human interactions, and gives her an awkward emotionless hug. He tells her he saw her at the crossroads to King’s Landing and Winterfell, and seems a bit surprised that she is here. Wait a second, did he only briefly flip to the Arya channel and not bother to see what came next? I thought this guy was all-seeing/knowing! Harrumph! He shows both sisters the dagger he received from Littlefinger. Arya immediately notes it’s made of Valyrian steel while Sansa warns that Littlefinger never does anything for anybody without wanting something in return. Bran don’t care. He gives the dagger to Arya, saying she’ll get more use from it than a cripple. I can’t help feeling he knows that Arya is going to have a run-in with some Whitewalkers and will find that dagger mighty handy.

Then I Saw His Cave, Now I’m A Believer

At Dragonstone, Queen Daenerys and Missandei are walking down to the beach to meet up with Jon Snow, who has found a cave full of Dragonglass, which he’s ready to mine. Jon calls Dany over. "Yo gurl…I wanna show you something inside this dark cavern…” and everybody immediately goes “Oooooh, Ygritte be spinning in her grave!” But this is Jon we’re talking about, and he legit wants to show her a bunch of cave drawings that he believes were made by the Children of the Forest. I'mma start to call them Toddlers of the Forest because they draw on walls, make rash decisions, and leave ginormous messes for others to clean up.

Dany is amazed by the artwork in the cave and marvels that it could have been made before men even existed. But Jon’s all “Nuh uh, look over here.” And we see crude drawings of men and then…Whitewalkers. Jon’s all, “See, queenie? Living proof! They worked together to defeat their common enemy. Case closed! You believe me now?” I cannot properly express just how badly I wanted the camera to pan down to his hand holding a piece of chalk, or show a close-up of the tiny initials J.S. etched underneath the Whitewalker stick figures.

Dany tells Jon she will fight for him on one condition: Bend the damn knee! But Jon is all “Yeah, but no, ‘cuz my people won’t accept a Southern ruler, so that’s not gonna fly.” To which Dany goes, “They will if their king tells them to. It would be a shame for them all to die, just because you couldn’t get over yourself.”

They emerge from the cave to bad news from Tyrion Lannister and Varys: Casterly Rock is won, but…oopsies, Dany’s fleet was destroyed and Highgarden is toast, too. Oh, and Cersei has made sure that all food has been removed from The Reach, so Dany's army of Unsullied will starve on their way back on foot. Daenerys is furious. She’s lost all her allies and it seems the conversation she had with Lady Olenna about ignoring advice from clever men is really speaking to her. She wants to hop a dragon and go nuclear on King’s Landing. Tyrion strongly advises against it, but Dany points out that he’s been pretty sucky in the advice department. She even suggests that perhaps Tyrion is purposely giving bad counsel to protect his family. Burn. She turns to her Northern visitor and asks “What Would Jon Do?” and the reply is “Well, if I was trying to win the love and loyalty of all of Westeros and set myself apart from all previous and current rulers, I sure as hell wouldn’t lay fiery waste to an entire city, killing thousands of civilians.” You can practically hear Tyrion’s inner monologue screaming “Yes!!!! Thank you, Voice of Reason!"

Back at Winterfell, Brienne and Podrick are sparring in the courtyard, when Arya comes along and tells Brienne she wants to train with the woman who beat The Hound in battle. We get a sweet sequence of Arya showing off her badass fighting skills while Sansa and Littlefinger look on from the mezzanine and Sansa seems to be wondering "Wtf is going ON with all my siblings?!” Arya has an exhilarated smile on her face as she fights and eventually bests Brienne. When Brienne asks who taught her to fight like that, Arya grins and says “No one”. She looks up and sees Littlefinger and her smile fades fast. Is he on her kill list, I wonder.

Hundreds of miles away, Jon and Ser Davos are walking the walls of Dragonstone and Davos asks what Jon thinks of Dany, hinting that she is a hottie. Jon’s all “Dammit, man, I don’t have time to date right now, I’m trying to save my people and all of humanity.” They encounter Missandei on their walk and she tells them what an inspiration Dany is to all the people who follow her. They notice a Good Greyjoy ship and head to the shore where Theon arrives by boat. Jon tells Theon he would kill him if it weren’t for the fact that Theon helped Sansa escape from Ramsay Bolton. Theon tells them he needs Dany’s help to rescue his sister from Uncle Euron, but Jon replies “Dany ain’t here, yo." Hmmm, where could she be?

Don’t Mess With The Dragon Mama

On an open field, still a distance from Kings Landing, a large group of the Lannister army is taking a rest while Jaime and Bronn look on. Commander Randyll Tarly rides up and informs Jaime Lannister that the gold has been safely transported to Cersei. He says the soldiers need to catch up with the front end of the regiment at the Blackwater rush and asks for permission to flog any stragglers as motivation to get moving. You get the sense that he considers flogging others a perk of the job. Ugh, Randyll is such a miserable guy.

Jaime and Bronn ask Rickon - I mean Dickon! - what he thought of his very first battle at Highgarden and he confesses it was hard to fight men he grew up with…and surprisingly stinky. Bronn smugly points out it’s the smell of men pooping their pants when they die. Lovely imagery there, dude. Suddenly Bronn realizes things have gotten too quiet. Jaime is on high alert and shouts to the soldiers to get into formation, because something’s a comin’.

The tension is palpable. In the distance we see a horde of Dothraki closing in. Hurrah for Team Dany! Although, it’s kind of a conflicting feeling of triumph, because I hate Queen Cersei, but I’m also rather fond of Jaime and Bronn. Maybe they’ll be aight…hopefully. I know the term "epic battle” is brought out often, especially where Game of Thrones is involved (deservedly so), but believe me when I say what follows truly is an epic, heart-racing battle scene. Words can’t do it justice, but here are some of the need-to-know highlights:

The Dothraki ride in like the unhinged, badass warriors they are, and as they get closer and closer to the Lannister army you just know a dragon is gonna appear soon. And appear it does! Drogon swoops over the horde, taking the lead, and we get a close-up of Dany on his back as she says “Dracarys!” and her Dragon spews out a stream of fire onto the shocked Lannister army. Total chaos ensues as burning men flail and run and we get lots of breathtakingly awesome shots of Drogon just shooting out flames like a laser beam, making a barbecue of any poor soul who happens to be in the line of fire. Meanwhile the Dothraki are handling things on the ground.

Amidst the madness, Jaime instructs Bronn to get to the wagon with Cersei’s secret weapon: Qyburn’s jumbo dragon-slaying crossbow. In true Bronn fashion we get the retort “Why me?” -“Cause it takes two working hands, ya jerk, DO IT!!!"

A Dothraki warrior singles out Bronn as he makes his way through the burning hellscape, and there’s a sad moment for all animal lovers when Bronn’s horse loses a leg. Bronn eventually gets the upper hand when he reaches the giant crossbow and fires it at his Dothraki assailant - skewering him. I mean…they ARE at a barbecue, after all.

As Dany continues to soar over the disoriented mass of soldiers and Drogon sets things ablaze, Bronn takes aim at the creature. He misses the first time, but the second shot hits Drogon in the chest. It’s not an immediately fatal shot, but the dragon falls from the sky. Somehow the beast manages to regain enough control to land with Dany still safely perched on his back. Jaime is about a football field’s distance from where Dany and Drogon have landed, and Dany is trying to remove the massive spear from Drogon’s chest.

Tyrion and Varys look on from a great distance and Tyrion mutters "You effing idiot!” when he sees Jaime charging toward Dany on horseback. Just as Jamie is mere feet away, Daenerys turns around and Drogon turns his head to blow a giant stream of fire at Jaime. But before the inferno can engulf him, somebody rides up and knocks Jaime from his horse and both men fall into a conveniently-placed body of water. Jaime sinks deeper and deeper into the water and…the credits roll.

Holy Mother of Dragons! What an intense final 20 minutes that was! The music and camerawork were simply perfect and I loved the sequence of Bronn making his way to the dragon-killing weapon - it was shot beautifully and conveyed the disorienting horror of the battle. I was covering my face for the whole battle scene, cringing and shouting expletives at the screen, praying that no Dragons would die.

Man oh man! Still kind of recovering from the excitement. I’m hoping desperately that Drogon’s wounds aren’t fatal. Dany can’t lose her favorite dragon-child! Perhaps it’s time to invest in some dragon-sized chainmail.

Pretty sure Jaime will survive - at least till the next episode - and my guess is that Dickon saved him, and will be getting more screen time. Even though this was a set-back for Cersei, I’m sure she’ll return with a vengeance once her hired hands from Essos come to town.

It’s great to have all the legit Stark kids back home and I’m loving the buddy pair-up of Arya and Brienne. Although poor Sansa is all “Damnit, I’m stuck with Littlefinger while everybody else gets to have all the fun.” What will Baelish do next? I feel like he probably wants to peace out of Winterfell, considering there is a highly trained assassin in the hizzy and a know-it-all who likely has seen every scheme and backstabbing thing Littlefinger has ever done. I think it’s high time for Bran to start giving people some useful info instead of just being all “I’ve been working on this cool time traveling Peeping Tom hobby lately” with everybody he meets; giving Arya the dagger is a good start.

Next week it looks like we’re getting some Whitewalker action, or, at the very least, an update on the Wildlings at East Watch. Will Jon finally “bend the knee” in order to get a dragon on loan from Dany to help out his pals in the north? He’s just gotta suck it up and do it, right? But will Dany even be able to spare any of her Unsullied what with Cersei’s sneaky outmaneuvering at Casterly Rock? So much can happen! With only three episodes left, every minute is precious and I’m pretty optimistic the final episodes are going to deliver mucho good times! Hang tight until next week, my dears!

#GOTrecaps #gameofthrones #Game of Thrones #the spoils of war #daenerys #dragons #battle #season 7 #recap #recaps #lannister #targeryen #stark

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melodicminho · 7 years

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Stay at Home Date With Minhyuk (One Shot)

Request: Hi~ Can I request a stay at home date oneshot with Minhyuk from Monsta X? Thank you^^

Thank you for requesting! I am sorry if this didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to be, but I had a lot of fun writing this! I couldn’t write a lot of things for this because then this work would’ve ended up being revolved around memes or it would be much more comical than it ended up being omg but seriously I enjoyed writing this ;DDD

Words: 1159

Genre: Fluff (? probs not it was wild)

You strutted into the living room after shouting from the kitchen that you wanted to have a stay at home date, a water bottle in hand. Seeing you pout with your hip cocked to the side, he carefully put the guitar on the couch and saluted you with a small giggle before going to the bedroom to get his phone so he could call a pizza place.

It was a sunny day, but it was raining outside, so you opened the blinds just slightly to let in a little sunlight into the living room. The beams of light made the hardwood floor shine - way too much. It hurt your eyes so you squinted while you went to close the blinds again, instead just turning on a lamp.

It was around 12:00 in the afternoon and Minhyuk was on the phone, sitting on the arm of the couch, ordering two boxes of pizzas with 2 two litre bottles and a cookie ‘pizza’.

While he was speaking on the phone, you took his guitar from the couch and sit down beside him, reaching towards the coffee table to grab the pick that sat by the remote. You scooted closer to Minhyuk, resting the neck of the guitar on his lap while you leaned against his side where he pat your head, finishing the phone call with a soft smile.

“They’ll be here in half an hour at most, jagiya.” he ruffles your hair which causes you to wrinkle your nose in mock annoyance. His soft laugh goes through your ears though and you can’t help but give him a small smile. You let him pinch your cheek before he moves around so that he’s sitting on the couch with you, scooting closer and closer to you until you’re basically squished against him and the armrest.

Giggling at his silliness, you start to play a few chords.

G, D, Em, C …

You hummed along to the song you were playing, swaying your head side to side with your eyelids fluttering shut. Minhyuk rest his head on your shoulder, happily listening to you play I’m Yours by Jason Mraz. It was a well known song, so he was happy that he knew what song you were playing on the acoustic guitar. He asked you to play a few more songs when you finished, but you refused.

He pouted his lips at you when you said no and whined, squishing you as he complained. Being mindful with the guitar, you put it on the coffee table with the pick, but even then Minhyuk didn’t let go of you. He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck and huffed childishly, curling his arms around your waist to shake you a little. You laughed at this though because he was being silly.

You reached a hand up to drag your fingers through his hair and pet the space between his shoulder blades, cooing playfully, “Okay, pup,” you say teasingly, “I’ll play a few more songs until the pizza arrives.”

After two more songs, you began to regret saying you would continue to play music until the delivery came. Minhyuk would shout the words to whatever song you played, standing on the couch as he swayed side to side with his hands held above his head. Your fingers were beginning to hurt, but for the sake of your cute boyfriend, you kept on strumming the guitar. While you were in the middle of playing another song, the doorbell rang and Minhyuk stood up to open the door.

He turned towards you after greeting the delivery guy and held his hand out, which you responded with tossing his wallet in his direction. After he caught it with an overly dramatic AH he blew you a kiss with a crinkly eyed smile on his face.

Minhyuk thanked the delivery man and bowed, taking the plastic bag with the drinks with the boxes of pizza and the cookie pizza balancing expertly on his other arm. You put the guitar down beside the couch and threw your arms in the air with a loud cheer coming out from your mouth. Minhyuk goes along with it with a giggle before whooping out loud himself.

You two grabbed your own box of pizza and just started devouring it like ?? You two can actually win a food contest with how fast and how much you can eat. While pouring some cola into your plastic cup (how’d that get there what), Minhyuk started to comment on the pizza saying, “It’s so good, bless.” and “Omg, this pizza has me shook to the core.” (you couldn’t agree more).

You gave Minhyuk your last piece of pizza and ate a warm piece of cookie before going to the kitchen to wash your hands. When you came back to the living room, Minhyuk was working on finishing his last two slices of pizza. You pick up his guitar and start to strum the acoustic chords to White Sugar (백설탕). Minhyuk lets out a JAGIYA, I LOVE THIS SONG and you laugh while he tries to swallow his food before you get to the beginning of the song where he sings his lines.

Honestly, you can’t say White Sugar/Sweetheart isn’t a bop because ?? You’re seeing Minhyuk head bang to the sound of your fingers strumming the guitar and - please. Where did his chill go.

You sing along, but let Minhyuk get carried away with Changkyun and Jooheon’s rap because really, their parts make you hype.

You both shout ‘baekseoltang’ and finish the song, still feeling jittery with good vibes.

This is where you and Minhyuk scurry to your karaoke box, turning the television on with your loud giggles filling the room as you both squeal at each other, Minhyuk excitedly squishing you to his chest as you put in a number with the microphone.

“Wi arae, wi wi arae. Wi arae, wi wi arae.” Minhyuk chants into the microphone as you do the choreography for Up & Down. Spurring you on with his laugh and a weak “Keep it going!”, you continued to dance. The neighbours must hate you two by now if they didn’t already because Minhyuk was chanting the lyrics to the song all the while trying to dance with you around the room. Once you got to the middle of the chorus, you had to end it because Minhyuk almost kicked the lamp and you swear you saw a few windows shake from his shouting.

He realized the music stopped and looked at you with a lost expression in his eyes while shouting JAGIYA??! which caused you to break into a fit of giggles and bring him to your chest, running your fingers through his hair as he laughed into the crook of your neck, holding you even closer with his arms low around your waist. “We should have much more dates like this, you know? I love having fun with you.”

At 12:03AM last night I had to go sleep and I wasn’t finished yet so what I wrote at the bottom was a reminder 4 me the next day if I forgo t what I was planning on writing

(((( l8er the pizza arrives when he almost falls asleep 2 u playing white sugar and then after pizza u guys sing KARAOOKOKEE AND YOU GUYS SING UP & DOWN BY EXID AND ITS FUCKING LIT DUDE ITS LIT AND U GOTTA STOP THE KARAOKE PARTY B4 IT GETS TOO WILD BECAUSE WTF MINHYUK ALMOST KNOCKED A LAMP OVER AND NEARL Y BROKE THE WINDOWS WITH HIS LOUD SCREECHING [ it is 12:03 am pls help ] ) pps its the next day and im currently listening to white sugar you cant tell me this song isnt lit im so omg

#monsta x reactions #monsta x imagines #monsta x scenarios #lee minhyuk #monsta x minhyuk #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop imagines #minhyuk scenarios

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