#i saw that gay little elf and was like ''oh god. me the fuck too.''

[yardsards]

you may say that i am "suffering from severe clinical depression" but i prefer to call it "being in my mithrun era"

[hp-hcs]

yanxidarlings here~ literally screamed when i saw you followed me because your writings were the direct inspiration for my latest post 💖 but im curious to see your take on yandere! poly! mattheo and theodore with m! reader or just more poly headcanons because i am never. going. to. get. enough. of. them

OH MY FUCKING GOD UR KIDDING I WAS THE ANON WHO REQUESTED UR LATEST POST

IM FEELING STARSTRUCK RN 🙇‍♂️👑

requests open, please dear god

Yk, reader is (lovingly) so fucking oblivious

Like, his friends will be like “hey you’re getting pretty close with like, the two most obsessive and violent guys at this school aha”

And reader will be like “lol they’re so silly goofy aren’t they 😌”

Inspired purely by your “you know people think we're gay and dating, right?” “aren't we?” I present:

“you know people think we’re gay and dating, right?” “aren’t we?” — yandere! mattheo riddle x oblivious! male! reader x yandere! theodore nott

completely unedited cause i gotta sprint to my lecture broski

TWs: possessive/obsessive behavior, brief mentions of violence, one instance of slut-shaming (?)

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Honestly, you thought nothing of it when you were informed that due to “space issues” you were being moved to room with The Theos™. You just shrugged and followed the very anxious house-elf who had informed you of the switch to your new room.

Your trunk and belongings were there already, waiting to be set up and organized. Mattheo and Theo were hovering in the doorway looking a bit too pleased with the situation for comfort.

You just quietly said “hi” and moved past them, dumping your school bag on your new bed and flopping down next to it.

Theo and Mattheo practically trip over themselves rushing to “befriend” you. (Their words, not mine)

You all share a dorm, so it wasn’t long before they realized the other was obsessed with you.

Then, it’s all out war.

I’m talking mysterious falls down the moving stairs, getting locked out of the dorm all night, randomly being chased by bludgers—even when they aren’t playing.

Random fistfights between them whenever they see each other in the halls.

That all goes out the window, though, when reader is asked out.

Reader comes back to his dorm after a long day and finds The Theos sitting side-by-side on the edge of the his bed.

“When were you going to tell us that you became the class whore?” Mattheo drawled, his lips thinning in disapproval and disgust.

“W-what?” You ask, completely taken aback.

“We heard that little Y/N L/N’s got himself a date to the Yule Ball,” Theodore adds. “Who is it? That Parkinson girl? The Diggory boy?”

“Wh- no. I said no anyways.”

The boys scrutinize you, exuding an air of judgement.

Finally, Theodore pipes up. “Good boy.”

😳

“Aww, what’s this? Look, Riddle. Y/N’s blushing,” Theodore teases.

They make a quick mental note of that 📝

Anyways, they eventually find out who asked you out. They call a ceasefire on their own personal war, and team up to beat the shit out of the poor guy/girl.

After that, babycakes, if they didn’t already know before, everyone at Hogwarts now knows that you are TAKEN. (Even though you don’t.)

They tolerate each other, but just barely. They can really only stand each other when you three all curl up in one of your beds or on the common room couch.

Then, they’re the clingiest mfs you’ve ever met.

They have absolutely no sense of a personal space bubble. One of them is always touching you in some way, whether it be holding your hand, resting a hand on your hip or shoulder, putting their hand on your lower back…

Theodore charmed your chair in History of Magic to be impossible to move, so you can’t scoot away from him.

If you’re relaxing on the couch in the common room, Mattheo will move to sit right next to you (like r i g h t next to you) and put your legs in his lap. He tried once before to get you to just sit in his lap, but you told him no (like an idiot) and avoided him for the rest of the day. That is, until you woke up to him in your bed next to you.

Homeboy was not happy about that.

He is manipulative as fuck and will gaslight you to no end. He uses his shitty childhood and bad father to get you to pity him.

(It works.)

It’s obviously disconcerting for you when your boyos go from ‘actively out for each other’s blood’ to ‘eh, you’re fine, i guess’

You guys were watching a movie in your dorm one night, all piled onto your bed, and they accidentally fell asleep there. They woke to you already gone for breakfast and them with their arms around each other.

“If you ever bring this up again, I’ll kill you.”

“Oh, believe me, they’d never find your body.”

They become way more open about their attraction to you, everything from kissing your cheek, to making you wear their clothes (esp their jerseys with their last name on them), to asking you your ring size.

I completely agree with your headcanon of Mattheo neck kisses 😩🤌

Eventually though, because you are an oblivious gay disaster, you’re just chilling on the couch and you’re like “Hey guys, you know everyone thinks we’re gay right? And like, all dating each other?”

“What, like we aren’t?”

y/n: 😳🤨☺️🏳️‍🌈👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

[iwrestlenow]

Running Through My Veins (Chapter One)

TITLE: Running Through My Veins

FANDOM: Sanders Sides

Pairings: Princexiety, Logicality, Dukeceit

Warnings: mentions of torture and surgical procedures, but nothing more graphic than the presence of a scalpel--but will get more graphic down the line.

SUMMARY: The Mindscape is a shoddy freighter eking its way through the galaxy, captained by a Ronisian named Patton Sanders and crewed by the Angelus, Logan Berry, as well as Patton's adopted son, a young Kaelian named Roman. They keep to themselves, taking mostly honest jobs to get by as well as the occasional passenger.

One passenger, a Decirite researcher named Janus, booked passage with cargo--and when said cargo is inadvertently opened, the ragtag crew must contend with the addition of a primitive, violent species rarely seen outside captivity.

Former research specimen, Virgil Storm: an honest to goodness, real life Human.

Notes: I don't know what this is yet. I don't know what it will be. It wanted to be written.

Like it? Say so, I may do more. For now, I just wanted a gay disaster, to hurt Virgil, and some Logicality tenderness. That is all.

AO3 link here.

“Roman? What's the holdup, kiddo?”

He almost didn't hear Patton coming up behind him—almost. Kaelian hearing was too keen to miss it, but Roman was also a warrior...or wanted to be. He prided himself on his awareness of personal space.

Patton's warm, bulky fingers, however, were a welcome visitor within his personal sphere, gently curling around the nape of Roman's neck in a gesture of Kaelian comfort and Ronisian concern.

A concern that was very much warranted, because Roman was both awed and horrified by the thing he had found in the cargo bay of their ship.

Their newest passenger, a shady looking Decirite named Janus, was the one who owned the large cargo container Roman had opened. He knew it was wrong, he wasn't allowed down here for a reason, but he'd heard something and couldn't contain his curiosity...

He heard the sharp intake of air when Patton spotted what was in the cargo container.

“I'm sorry, Patton, I...I know I shouldn't have opened it, but--”

“Never mind, kiddo. Just...get Logan. Now.”

********** Fear and pain and fear and pain andfearandpainandfearandpain oh god oh god not again please someone help help help help--

Virgil's eyes snapped open, hands lashing out against shadows he couldn't name, faces he couldn't bring to mind.

Slim, powerful fingers circled his wrists, immobilizing him. Rough, guttural words he didn't understand filled his ears. The scream in Virgil's throat was choking him, couldn't escape, he couldn't breathe...

“Qu'a rho.”

Virgil froze, recognizing the word but only barely. He'd heard it enough times before to have gleaned an understanding. It belonged to the race of elves—at least they looked like elves.

The Kael. The warriors. That word...

It was supposed to mean 'safe.'

Virgil stilled, though he couldn't control his trembling. He finally drew back just a little, just to see who had hold of him...

...oh God, he was entirely too gay for this shit.

The young man looked to be his age, give or take. He was lean, but powerfully built, with dark hair that hung nearly to his shoulders and those delicately pointed ears Virgil had seen before. His skin wasn't quite red, but close enough to make him look like a badly sunburned Irish dude. Nearly normal, basically.

Well, Earth normal. He wasn't on Earth anymore.

“Qu'a rho.” the beautiful elf boy said again, dark eyes earnest as they seemed to search his face with an expression Virgil could only call hopeful.

There was something about the Kael...God, why couldn't he remember? His brain felt like it was filled with syrup, his thoughts slow and sluggish and sticking to things like broad shoulders and glossy, touchable hair that brushed them as he leaned in closer to Virgil--

Gay. Gay, too gay, too fucking gay for this shit.

“Ka-ah row.” Virgil echoed, wincing as he butchered the pronunciation of the word. From the Kaelian, it sounded rough and powerful—from him it sounded like he was coughing. Or barking...one of the two.

The Kaelian smiled, and Virgil thought vaguely that he might pass out from how fucking pretty it was before the Kaelian began talking to him a mile a minute in his native tongue. Virgil would have been happy to listen, uncomprehending, forever...

...but then one of them suddenly appeared just over the Kaelian's shoulder, and Virgil knew he was going to die.

********** “Very smart, Dr. Berry—approach a torture victim with whom you can't communicate with a scalpel when your own people were the ones that tortured him.”

Logan spun around to face the Decirite passenger, who, as far as Logan was concerned, ought to be locked in his quarters. Patton was captain, however, and as such the man walked free.

“He does not, in all likelihood, even understand that this is for him.” Logan pointed out. “He is, after all, human.”

The Decirite—Janus, if Logan recalled correctly (and he did, he possessed total recall like every normal Angelus did) was incapable of rolling both of his eyes, but the humanoid graft on one half of his head provided a lovely honey brown eye with which to emote, opposite the gleaming black one that had no lid nor visible iris.

“Of course, I forgot: deathworlders are too primitive to comprehend much in the way of anything.” Janus shot back. Nudging his way past Logan, Janus approached the human, speaking in a strange variation of Common Logan was unfamiliar with.

Seeing Janus seemed to melt the human—it was the best description Logan had as the creature sagged, then all but fell into Janus's six arms when he perched on the edge of the bed and opened them to accept the seemingly frightened creature in a gentle embrace.

“Logan?”

Glancing to the side at Patton as he came up beside him, Logan let out a huff and watched the odd scene of Janus and the human conversing while young Roman sat on the opposite side of the human, watching him with a blatantly enraptured expression.

“Do you believe him, Patton?” Logan asked uncertainly. “Janus—do you feel his story holds any validity?”

Patton laughed, the musical sound filling him with light as it always did.

“It's like I told you, Lo-lo.” Patton giggled, gesturing to the pair. “Honesty doesn't require as many words as lies doe—they're not saying anything right now, but what do you hear?”

Logan opened his mouth to remind Patton that one could not hear in silence...but as was becoming common in the two solar cycles he'd been aboard the Mindscape, a beat up old freighter with barely enough crew to run her, Logan's mind caught up with his mouth.

He saw the way the human clung to the Decirite. He saw the way the Decirite ran fingers through the human's hair while another hand rubbed his back and still another found one of the human's to cling tight, their fingers meshed firmly together.

Closing his mouth, Logan sighed.

“I see...trust.” he finally relented. “The human clearly finds comfort in the presence of a fellow deathworlder.”

“Good job, Lo.”

Logan glanced over at Patton, whose thick and craggy features only just managed to emote as he smiled, eyes lost in the rocky landscape of his face.

Reaching out, Logan gently touched one of the protrusions on Patton's cheek. Though it looked solid as the stone it emulated, it yielded under his spindly fingertip, and flecked away from the skin below when Logan gently slipped under a place where it separated from the rest of his face.

“You have a shed coming.” Logan reminded him quietly. “Will you require assistance?”

Patton didn't answer right away. If Logan didn't know better, he would have said that Patton was leaning into the touch of his hand.

“I'll let you know, kiddo.” he reassured Logan softly, reaching up to pat Logan's hand. Briefly, it felt like sparks danced over Logan's pale skin with the simple brush of Patton's boulder-like fingers.

“Am Virgil, son of Dirt.”

Logan's attention turned sharply towards the trio again. The human was looking right at him, trembling, eyes wide and overly shiny.

He was also speaking Kaelian—badly, but still speaking it.

“There were several among the guards at the facility who were Orin—honor-dead Kael.” Janus explained in Common, then again in the strange variant of the language that Logan's translator could not yet parse—seemingly for the human's benefit. “He picked up some, that's how we began conversing. I was led to believe he was a lab rat, bred and born in that facility, but when I realized he'd been a victim of body snatchers, what he'd endured...”

Janus trailed off, turning back to the young human—to Virgil—and abruptly pulled him close again.

Little more explanation was required. Janus had clearly escaped the Angelus science facility in which he was working as a researcher, with Virgil in tow—stashed in a stasis crate with a faulty seal that had drawn Roman's attention.

Moving closer, Logan made sure Virgil was watching as he laid his scalpel aside.

“Can you explain the translator to him, Janus?” he finally asked.

Janus nodded, speaking softly to Virgil. After a moment, Virgil glanced at Roman questioningly. Roman, visibly distraught, reached carefully for Virgil's hand and spoke to him.

“On the honor of my house and my blood, new friend: you shall come to no harm by our hands. Logan is a good man. He will keep you safe.”

Virgil just stared at him, uncomprehending, but seemed to find something in Roman's face that soothed him. Nodding, he glanced at Janus again, and repeated the action.

“I'll sedate him.” Janus replied for their benefit. “I did it for transport, he trusts me.”

“Very well.” Logan sighed.

Gently tipping Virgil's head to meet his gaze, Janus stared into his eyes. Logan averted his own eyes just slightly, making sure that the unique musculature of the Decirite iris didn't catch him unawares.

Within a few moments, Virgil was slumping back into Janus's arms, unconscious. Refocusing, Logan moved towards the infirmary bed.

It was time to get to work.

********** Virgil woke up a second time, just as panicked as the last.

Because when he woke up this time, he was just as slow and sluggish, his thoughts slow and thick—and he hurt.

Lashing out with one arm that was quickly caught by an unseen assailant, the throbbing that pierced his head had him falling back with a moan, despondent because he was gonna die this time they were coming and Janus lied he lied Virgil was going to die alone and afraid...

“...you hear me? Virgil, please...please, come back...”

Blinking, Virgil realized a face was hovering over his—pale red, not quite light enough to be pink, with those delicate features and dark eyes...

The Kaelian. From before...the stupidly pretty Kaelian...

Gay Disaster, thy name is Virgil Storm.

The Kaelian grinned, revealing too-straight teeth, edges like razors. Too often, the smiles with those teeth showing meant he was about to suffer some new atrocity for reasons he couldn't fathom and no one was willing to explain to him.

“...pain? Is it pain? We implanted a translator node, but connecting to the right portion of the brain is tricky, as human physiology is still a bit new to us...”

The Kaelian was talking again—wait. The Kaelian was talking. In Kaelian—but Virgil could understand him as effortlessly as if he were speaking English.

“Yeah, hurts. Like hell.” Virgil managed softly. He got a blank stare for his trouble.

“I'm sorry, par ma'a—can you nod or point? Our translators are still parsing your native tongue, I can't understand you.”

Shutting his eyes, Virgil touched his head.

“Expected. Just a moment, stay still...”

Unable to help himself, Virgil cracked his eyes open to watch the Kaelian bustle across the...infirmary?...to pick up a very small device made of black metal, about the size of a square Lego brick, only flat. He reached out, and in spite of himself, Virgil flinched.

The Kaelian looked stricken, and his expression...Virgil suddenly wished he spoke fluent Kaelian to tell him it was okay.

“Lhoj.” was all he could muster—the Kaelian word for 'sorry,' and probably not the right one.

Still, the other boy smiled again, more softly this time.

“No apologies are needed, Son of Dirt.” he soothed, reaching out again more slowly to affix the device to Virgil's temple. It was cool, and pulled uncomfortably for a second as it adhered—but then the Kaelian did something, and he couldn't feel it any longer.

The pain was already dulling, too. Wow. Now he could focus on the important thing...

“My name's not Son of Dirt.” he grumbled. “It's Earth, son of Earth. It's, uh...”

He fumbled, trying the Kaelian greeting again with the English word for Earth.

“Am Virgil, Son Of Earth.”

The Kaelian blinked, then spread his arms in a pretty theatrical display of joy.

“Oh, rapture! Virgil, Son of Earth—a pleasure to know you, properly this time. I am Roman, Son Of...ah...”

The Kaelian, Roman, trailed off with a frown as he returned to Virgil's bedside.

“I, uhm...I don't have a House anymore.” he admitted quietly. The way he hung his head, the way his ruddy skin went paler...

Virgil didn't know a lot about Kaelian culture, but he understood the mercenaries that worked in the facility where he'd been kept were outcasts without a House, something like a family. That was something Virgil definitely understood, given his own situation before he was taken.

Reaching out for Roman's hand, Virgil shifted so he was gripping Roman's forearm, and he was gripping Virgil's—the way the mercenary guards always greeted each other.

“Good journey, Roman, Son Of Kael.” Virgil declared, exhausting what little Kaelian he knew.

Roman just gazed at him, expression full of wonder. It made the warrior boy look oddly fragile, and it made Virgil's chest feel light and...fuzzy, like his insides had been stuffed with a warm fleece blanket.

“No one has addressed me that way since I was small.” he confessed. “I am orin, but...but perhaps you're right. If we have no House to honor, we can honor our...oh, that's your planet, isn't it? Not your house! That's the word for it, Earth!”

Grinning, Virgil nodded. Roman laughed at that.

“You are a fierce and noble creature, Virgil, Son of Earth—may the Prophet bless your house for generations to come!” he boomed with another grand gesture, fists pumping into the air that made Virgil laugh.

“God, you are so extra.” he huffed with a shake of his head. “If you weren't so hot, it'd be annoying.”

Roman pointed at him accusingly, but he was still smiling. “I do not understand your words, but from where I stand, Human, your tone is one of doubt! You must trust me: you could flee captivity to no finer vessel than the Mindscape, and be no safer under any captain than that of my heart-father, Patton Sanders. We are wayward brothers, you and I...on my honor, we shall avenge your mistreatment and bring honor to your house!”

Virgil watched Roman start swanning around the infirmary and relaxed back into his bed, finding himself strangely comforted. He hoped the guy didn't mean literal brothers, because...well.

Gay disaster. Pretty alien.

Virgil was just plain fucked all around—and if he was lucky, that might even be literal.

[trensu]

Episode 10: The One with ANOTHER Moonlit Rooftop Moment

Still surrounded by dead bodies, guys. There is, unfortunately, an abundance of plot this time

But let’s slog through it BC OUR BOYS ARE WORTH IT

So right now we meet Xue Yang, Xiao Xingchen, and Song Lan

Love ya guys, but we’re not here for you today

(even tho xxc is the most beautiful elf prince of a boy i’ve ever seen; no wonder xy gets all obsessed with him and song lan falls in love)

(yes, song lan and xxc are in love, no i will not be taking comments)

Moving on!

Plot plot, xy and xxc have a sword fight, plot plot

Oooh, wait there is an itty bitty piece of WangXiantics here

Wwx uses his Magic Rope of Binding/Bonding to reel XY in like a fish and proceeds to yank him about while he tries to have a sword fight with xxc

(NO ONE’S ALLOWED TO HAVE ROMANTIC SWORD FIGHTS IN THE MOONLIGHT EXCEPT ME AND LWJ -- wwx, probably)

So he does this, and then throws a little grin at lwj and teases “lan zhan, are you still bored?”

Ahhh, wwx, you might as well have shouted: LAN ZHAN, DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID? WASN’T THAT CLEVER? ISN’T MY INVENTION USEFUL?? AREN’T YOU IMPRESSED???

It’s okay, we all got the message anyway

Except maybe lwj bc he is still a Disaster Gay™ even if he now knows he is In Love and Soulmate’d for Life

I’d like to pause a moment to let you all know that wwx has a HILARIOUS 'disgust' reaction to xy.

Xy is all captured and xxc is all CONFESS and xy is all yeah okay i killed all those guys and it was fun

Wwx’s face gets all twisted up like when you smell something rotten

AND THEN DOES A FULL-BODY TWITCH AWAY FROM XY LIKE HE’S TRYING NOT TO PHYSICALLY PUKE 

IT’S SO FREAKING FUNNY

I mean i shouldn’t laugh bc that’s probably a reasonable reaction to a unhinged killer saying that murder is just a fun hobby of his, BUT GOD, I HAD TO REWIND AND SEE THAT REACTION PLAY OUT TWICE, I WAS CRACKING UP

Anyway

Xy is all tied up and captured and everybody talks plot stuff (after introducing themselves and doing the whole “wow, you’re awesome,” and “no, no, you’re awesome” thing)

Xy laughs because he’s a murderous lunatic and wwx is like “what’s so funny asshole”

Wwx is def posturing here

I think he’s threatened bc they have similar sense of fashion

Like, hell no, this murderous bastard is not gonna steal MY look

HE’S GIVING BLACK ROBES A BAD RAP, I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!!

Lwj: Give us the Plot Device

Xy: idk what you’re talking about bro. I just came out here to have a good time and attack people right now

Wwx: lan zhan, don’t bother talking to him!!

Yeah, wwx is DEFINITELY feeling threatened lol

Like, omg why is lwj listening to this guy? Why did he get closer to him and start talking to him? LWJ HE’S NOT AS PRETTY AS ME!! I LOOK BETTER IN BLACK ROBES, LWJ, STOP LOOKING AT HIM

Wwx: i’ll search him, here hold my sword

Lwj: *pointedly does not reach for wwx’s sword*

None of this is a euphemism guys, get your minds out of the gutter

Wwx: right right, i can search him AND hold my sword at the same time, nbd nbd

Wwx: *proceeds to molest xy*

and in that moment, all of us suddenly wished to be a murderous lunatic

Xy: woah there, mr. handsy, people will talk!!

Wwx: bro, i am the KING of gay chicken, don’t try me

MEANWHILE, lwj is watching all this go down very intently

WHATCHA LOOKING AT LWJ

WHAT’S THE MATTER

R U JEALOUS RN??

‘Nooo, that’s supposed to ME under wwx’s sexy wandering hands’ --lwj, probably

we feel your pain, bro

So that’s the first wangxian moment of the episode

Lwj being jealous again

Altho to be fair, i mean, anybody would be miffed watching their soulmate feel up someone Not Them, right?

Right.

Plot plot plotty NHS and Meng Yao appear conveniently plotty plot plot

Xxc and SL get invited to Qinghe to witness Justice Get Served to XY

Xxc: yeah no, we’re not doing that. Clan politics not really our scene

Xxc: we prefer to be alone together and travel the world, right, boyfriend, i mean Song Lan?

SL: *is handsome and stoic*

Then wwx has a Same Hat moment

Wwx: OH, US TOO, ME AND LAN ZHAN DO THAT TOO

Lwj: you should give us your contact details 

Lwj: in case we need you.

Lwj: for stuff.

LOOK AT LWJ BEING ALL SOCIABLE

I’M SO PROUD OF YOU BB

(he really did ask them how to reach them tho)

Lwj rightfully saw xxc & SL and thought, now there’s a gay couple i can bond with

Then the group splits up with XXC and SL go their own way

I mention this because we get a shot of LWJ staring longingly at the pair of them as they walk off

You know why?

You all know why

IT’S BC HE’S DAYDREAMING OF HIM AND WWX DOING WHAT THEY DO

JUST TRAVELING TOGETHER AND PUTTING GOOD INTO THE WORLD

*SOBSOB*

And then WWX breaks the daydream with a simple “let’s go?” and lwj just turns around and follows him with barely a pause

BC HE LOVES WWX AND WILL GO ANYWHERE HE WANTS!!!! 

We arrive at the Unclean Realm for Plot Reasons

Plot plot, NMJ makes a Badass Entrance, jc & wwx fanboy over him, plot

More plot stuff

More non-wangxian stuff

So much non-wangxian stuff

Why, show, why

Foreshadowing Plot Stuff

AND WE’RE AT THE 30 MINUTE MARK OF THE EPISODE WHEN WE FINALLY GET A SUBSTANTIAL WANGXIAN SCENE

OH GOD, IT TOOK SO LONG

I ALMOST DIDN’T MAKE IT GUYS

BUT HERE I AM!!!

Okay, okay *deep breath* we’re good now

WWX IS ON A ROOF!!

RIGHT NEXT TO LWJ’S ROOM!!!

Bc he’s drunk and can’t find his way back to his own rooms so he thought sleeping on the roof was a good option?? JOIN A HELP GROUP, WWX

LWJ was peacefully meditating in his room and when there arose such a clatter that he had to grab bichen and was ready to cut a bitch

But just kidding! bc he hears wwx’s voice and immediately relaxes

Wwx: these roof tiles are much rougher than the ones in gusu, so rocky, so uncomfy

He says this as if it was done to purposely inconvenience him specifically

Again, he’s drunk here guys

But he’s a poetic drunk!!

Wwx: the world is a room, i’ll take the sky as my quilt and the ground as my bed

A very pretty way of saying I CAN’T FIND MY ROOM, GUESS I’LL SLEEP OUTSIDE

Wwx then shows us that he can’t drink properly from a jar of wine and just pours it into his mouth and sloshes half of it down his neck and on his clothes

Ooooh, but that’s a nice shot of his jawline

And oooh, his neck’s all glistening now

I APPROVE

I APPROVE VERY MUCH

And then ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND as lwj exits his rooms and walks outside to see wwx lounging on the rooftop like a particularly handsome raccoon or smth

Wwx: lan zhan, i’ll sleep on your roof tonight *passes out drunk but in a ridiculously cute way*

FOR REAL, HE JUST SPRAWLS OUT ON THE ROOF AND THEN ~GENTLY~ LEANS HIS HEAD ON HIS HIS HAND AND DRIFTS OFF ANGELICALLY

STOP BEING SO CUTE WWX

LWJ: wei ying, i have to go

He says SOFTLY and with LOVE and then PROCEEDS TO ABANDON HIS SOULMATE TO GO OFF AND DO STUPID PLOT THINGS

But guys, it was still beautiful

He says that and EVERYTHING goes all slo-mo as he walks away

I mean, the shot of him walking away is done so that we can see wwx perched on the rooftop above him and lwj does that stately strut he has

And then the camera gives us a shot of wwx’s face as the WIND GENTLY RUSTLES HIS HAIR

STILL IN SLO MO

WITH ~THEIR SONG~

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ugh gross, this beautiful scene is followed up by that wen chao 

Plot plot

Suddenly a wen vs. nie battle is happening

For Plot Reasons, blegh

Omg so many Dramatic Twirls everywhere

Okay, okay, unfortunately we gotta listen to Wen Chao for a moment to get a breadcrumb’s worth of wangxian here

Wc: hey, wwx, since you’re ~sooo~ interested in GusuLan stuff, let me tell you something

Wc: *proceeds to brag about his big brother destroying the cloud recesses*

(even the bad guys know wwx and lwj are obsessed with each other, YOU’RE NOT SUBTLE BOYS)

Wc: if lwj manages to make it home, he’s gonna find it in ruins!!

(seriously FUCK THIS GUY)

Wwx: *the most ferocious glare we’ve seen him do so far*

Looks like somebody just won first place in wwx’s shit list

Then more plot stuff happens, we see nmj and meng yao break up, blah blah blah

And that’s the end of ep10!!!

This was...so hard, guys. So difficult. A trial, even. I had to wait for an ENTIRE HALF-HOUR TO GET A SIGNIFICANT PIECE OF WANGXIAN PIE. 

I mean, yeah, i got to see xxc’s beautiful face, but GOD, AT WHAT COST??

Also, are you guys starting to notice a Thing about rooftops?

Because it’s there.

We’re def gonna have more Rooftop Moments

Stay tuned!

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[nyarisu]

Rammstein: Paris liveblogging

This live is so fancy! My god, the intro is so dramatic, and the guys haven’t even appeared XD there are even alarm sounds!

Their entrance is *chef’s fingers kiss* and Ollie being the high fantasy dark elf we all asspire to be XD Say what you will about the spasmic editing, this was very nicely filmed!

I love the array of microphones on Till’s coat.

Asdghjl the flags being set into place and then Ollie with the flame! It’s all so badass! Also Schneider is hot XD

Sonne

Oooh they’re starting with this one! Also one of the few times he’s counting.

The instrumental at the beginning is always giving me shivers, it’s so powerfull

And I love the static editing

I can say whatever I want about this song being over mentioned by everyone... but the true is it’s amazing!

Don’t punch yourself, dumb baby.

THE FIRE!!!

Lol @ Richard being a sea urchin XD

The ending was fantastic<3 very dramatic!

Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen

Aasdfghjkl THAT SHOT OF SCHNEIDER!!!

The doom guy sounds are killing me I love them and the fireworks collars are amazing. I love this song so much!

Schneider throwing the drummstick in the air ♡

„AAAAAAA AAAAA” silly editing of Till every time AAAA BUT FUNNY NONETHELESS

„RAMMSTEIN!”

I love the gloves!

This song always gets me so pumeped up! And the editing makes it even more dramatic and full o energy!

The fire works at the end!

Keine Lust

Unfortunately, I sometimes vibe with this song T_T

It has such a powerful beginning it must be wonderful to hear it live.

Wanna see me fangirl again about Schneider spinning the stick midair and then catching it again?

Flake loks weird and I wouldn’t trust him.

Richard’s „nein, Ich habe keine Lust”

Dear lord Till has wonderfull eyes.

Wtf was with that tongue, Jonas??

Very nice Schnooter shots!

Oh, Ollie is hoodless now. A bit better, I think.

Paul being badass with his guitar.

Till bby who hurt you like this?

(fortunately for me ich habe some Lust hence me doing this liveblog)

Sehnsucht

Let’s geT NOSTALGIC BITCHES

I love that chanting so much!

Did he just made a cross sign??

Till is doing some hammering and Flake is just vibing XD

The chanting! The fire! The atmpshere!! I love everything about this song live

If he doesn’t hit his forhead.... oh, he actually didn’t...

Asche zu Asche

Nice trio in the front~

I swear to god Richard is always sexy on the mic during this song and he’s probably doing it on purpose! And the way he gestures!!

Lol I was wondering when Till will start acting like a slut XD

The keyboards are amazing before the last chorus.

Yesssh microhpones on fire!1

Feuer frei

Ugh that tongue edit again... leave Till’s tongue alone, Jonas!

Auch, that hurt.

BANG BANG

Flake, chase that nonsense right away XD

Leave his eye alone too!

That Schneider smirk when Till came with the mask. I love the masks!

IMAGINE BEING THERE and seeing this asdfghjkl the ultimate Rammstein experience.

Mutter

Some green lightng oh no that’s Mutter better be prepared to have my heart broken. The saddest song to ever sad you have no idea what it does to me.

Richard playing there, he’s really feeling the song.

The guitar solo is amazing!

Till was suffering there and I was shamelessly admiring Schneider behind him XD

God his eyes

The spark shower, if that doesn’t beak your heart even further... (but very nice arms >w>)

*sighs* that was fantastic~

Mein Teil

Wow I can’t belive he even added sound effects to the title melting away gross :))))

I’m getting goosebumps because of the insrtumental, it’s that awesome!

I love the moves schenider has in the background. And everytime he strikes the air with his fist.

Flake popping out of the couldron kils me everytime XD

Too much blood editing.

„da aAS IS MEIN TEIL!”

Schneider is being once again sexy in the back.

Till has funny dance moves but i love his serious face

And Flake being like no thank you I’m not buying anythingXD

Let’s START THE FLAKE COOKING

„you over there, give me your fire throwing thingy” jaaaaaaaa

There is no concert without Fklake’s spastic dance moves XD

Du riechst so gut

The bow!!

„der Wahnsinn” dear lord Richard you’re killing me.

The first time I saw Paul and Till doing that I almost had a heart attack I really thought they were gonna smash their heads together XD I see them doing it for shits and giggles.

I love the synchronised head baniging (more like bodybanging)

Yes, guitars on fire! Congrats on throwing that now jump after it :)))))

I just want to kiss Till’s mouth.

Links 2 3 4

Schneider stop being sexy!

I love the guys’ entrance for this song.

Till being all business. Onwards, my mighty stallion XD

The last chorus was very nice and full of energy (thanks editing).

Du hast

Ugh to those lightnings but otherwise is fantastic.

Do you think they ever get sick of playing it? I never expected this to be Richard’s fav song to play live....

That RZK ass XD

The fire!

Oh the keyboard must be divine live~

It must be really impressing to have a full hall singing just for you.

And then my favourite part! All that thing wiht shooting fire that comes back and then the whole stage exploding! Definitely my favourite R+ effect. Really nice image

Haifish

This gave me goosebumps again

„Sechs Herzen, die brennen” *choking* thanks for the feels-

Flake is really brave for doing that boat thingy. I could never.

Lol those dance moves, unexpected butf unny as usual.

Till clapping for Flake XDDD silly

I like the pose he aodopted while waiting for the song to move on.

Buck dich intro

This gets it’s own section because I love the instrumental so much!! Or remix, whatever you wanna cal it. It’s fantastic<3

And Richard enjoying every eye on him :D Nice ass anyway.

Weird over editing I don’t understand but whatever, we’re ignoring that.

Woo woo machine XD

Asdhjkl the BRIDGE IS COMING DOWN

THEY ARE COMING SDFGHJKLSCJHNV EJUSCD

Hello Frau Schneider and her puppies #till lehman is a sub

One of my favourite Till looks.

Of course he must be humping something or someone XD

Schneider x Rchard banter is the best. And then bodilly dragging Till onto the stage<3 I HAVE LOTS OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING OK??

Look at him being a good puppy RHI WHERE IS YOUR FIC??

Buck dich

Honestly now what is better that a shirtless Till with a colar?

The most syncopated instrumental ever. They are fucking crazy (I love them).

I was reminded of this fic XDD

Wow imagine being there and seeing Buck dich for the first time that is wild

„why are you wet?” „eh, I was too close to the stage” (part 1)

„NOCH EINMAL!!!”

The whole ending with Till and Schneider was hilarious XDDD

Man gegen man

Let’s go with that gay song! XD

Dumb editing but I’m focusing on Flake dancing beside Till.

He has an amazing back<3

I love how he goes crazy during the solo.

Wow Jonas went full with the editing for a few seconds didn’t he?

Also Till did something very sexy with that watter bottle.

Ohne dich

Time to have no feels again

I want that collar too.

Paulchard vibing together’

The hall looks amazin with all those little light on!

Dear lord Schneider looks fantastic.

Paul being cute again XD

Asdfghjkl Till crossing that bridge gave me a nose bleed tbh

Mein Herz brennt

My favorurite instrumental ever! And the one who convinced me to listen to this band.

A little sad they put on shirts again but hey, at least RZK took his off XD

The glowing heart is a loved effect but I preffer the current one to this, the timing is better now.

Amerika

Live is the only way I’m not skipping this song. The last time I listened to it is probably the last time I watched this very live XD

Are they actually whistling?

Why do they all look so good?

Flake, what are you doing? :)))

Ich will

Richard’s arms lookin fine and Till is being a slutt with the microphone again XD

Was that chick shirtles? XDD

Nice firework at the end.

Engel

So... is this whistling real or?

Those wings... in Till’s defence, I thing the floating wings are much more spectacular and much easier for his back too.

Pew!

Why!! Why do you edit those things?? They are gonna give me nightmares!

But whatever the wings on fire are cool.

Really Jonas this is not an anime stop enlarging eyes.

Pussy

Another badass entrance, considering the song XD

„Er könnte etwas größer sein” will always kill me :)))

Oh, your eyes are so pretty~

Poor mic stand.

The dick canon! To be in the first few rows... XDD „why are you wet?” „eh, I was too close to the stage” (part 2)

I love how wide Till’s back is<3

„let’s do it QUICK” peak slutiness from Herr Lindemann :)))))

I love how they all gathered around Schneider.

It impresses me so much everytime they kneel for their audience<3

Looking very nice there, Ollie!

I thought Schneider was gonna do a backflip with how he streched XDDD oh, hello Richard~

Fruhling in Paris

Till has very nice legs.

Not saying anything about him floating off like a damn fairy :)))))

I love evey time one of the others is singling along (this time: Schneider)

And Flake just ran off XD

Conclusions:

Tbh when I’m lacking motivation I really should watch this live it gives so much energy!

The Amerika / Engel whistling question still stands.

2 hours of nothing but Rammstein. I approve

[exo-x-o-l-o-v-e]

Strawberries & Cigarettes Pt. 1

Chanyeol x male!reader

Genre: Fluff, a bit of angst

I was always captivated by his smile. From the first moment I saw him his smile had this way of making me forget everything else and just get lost in the moment.

I fell in love with his smile in our second year of middle school. I saw him during lunch one day as I was walking to where my friend, Namjoon, and I usually sat.

His friend accidentally bumped into me, the guy apologized and I was telling him it was okay when he ran up yelling happily and swung his arm over smaller boy’s shoulders. My heart stopped the second I looked at him. His smile was wide and goofy but he radiated such pure happiness that it dazed me. My mind got hazy and the next thing I knew the boy in front of me grumbled an apology about him, who he referred to as “Chanyeol”, and walked off with said boy trailing after him like a hyperactive puppy.

Much to my shitty luck, Namjoon witnessed the entire thing. “Who was that?” Namjoon asked with an obviously fake casual tone. I shrugged as I replied, “No clue, the guy just bumped into me.”.

“I meant the one you were gawking at.” he said with a shit eating grin.

“Fuck off, I wasn’t staring.” I responded and started to eat.

“You were definitely staring, lover boy. Come on, what’s his name?” he pressed on as he continued to eat too.

“You’re such a dick. His friend called him ‘Chanyeol’ or something, I don't know.” I answered, hoping that Namjoon wouldn’t see my cheeks getting hot.

He tried to start teasing me again but he accidentally knocked his drink off the table.

“Really!” He sighed in exasperation.

He had a weird knack for destroying anything and everything he came in contact with, so a couple people snickered at Namjoon's usual clumsiness, as I went to go get the cleaning supplies with a sigh of relief.

From that day forward I always looked for that kid with the bright smile. I even swallowed my pride and asked a couple classmates about him. I learned his name was Park Chanyeol, he was in class 2-C, he liked singing and playing guitar, he was trying to start a band, and he was either described as really cool and friendly or loud and obnoxious. Namjoon gave me endless shit once he found out I asked our classmates about Chanyeol and noticed I would go out of my way just to be able to look at him from afar.

The more I watched him from afar the more I began to notice everything else about his appearance. He had these really cute elf-like ears that poked out (despite his attempt at hiding them under his long hair), he was a little taller than some of our classmates, still had his babyfat, and had really nice dark eyes that sparkled with life.

I didn’t know why I wanted to see him all the time or why his smile made my heart race or what I was feeling, but all I knew was I wanted him to keep smiling.

Eventually Namjoon started trying to talk me into going up to him and introducing myself, which obviously I didn’t do. What was I supposed to say? We had only kinda met once when his friend bumped into me a month or two ago. It was far too late to introduce myself to him now.

“I don’t want to study, Joon!” I groaned as he pulled me along by my hand towards the library.

“Your mom isn't going to let us hang out after school if you continue to suck at math!” Namjoon scolded me.

“We can't all be in the top 1% like you, dork.” I said back with a smile just to see him get more annoyed. But someone interrupted him before he could respond.

“Faggots!” we heard some guy yell.

Namjoon must have felt me stiffen with anger, he held my hand softer, and we continued walking.

“Why don’t you leave, perverts!” another guy, probably the first boy’s friend, shouted.

We continued ignoring them. We were use to it at this point, it still made us angry, but we were okay at ignoring it. People said stuff like that all the time. People acted like this towards us because I’m gay. I came out last year, and because Joon was still friends with me afterwards he was made fun of too.

“Yah! Didn’t you hear us, fags?” the first guy yelled at us again, his voice getting closer.

My free hand balled into a tight fist, I was getting angrier by the second, but Namjoon kept walking away from the guys following us. He was the more even tempered of us two, he stayed calm and cool when people did this, while I tended to get angry or cry.

“Do you want to die, homo?” his friend grabbed my shoulder hard and jerked me back.

I yanked my hand out of Namjoon’s grasp as I threw my fist at that boy’s face. My punch hit him with so much unexpected force that he fell to the ground. There was a flash of shock on both of their faces, Namjoon instantly was by my side, his arm in front of me protectively. The boy still standing stalked towards me, his arm pulled back as he prepared to throw a punch. Namjoon jumped in front of me, taking the hit intended for me before pushing him down. The one I had punched got to his feet and everything became a blur of punches and trying to protect each other. Somehow the guy I decked got me on the ground, he kept hitting my face over and over, until he was thrown off of me. I looked to my left expecting to see my best friend but instead there stood Park Chanyeol yelling at the guy to get lost. He knelt down next to me with that stunning smile aimed at me and his hand outstretched towards me. My heart skipped a beat then dropped. Where was Namjoon? Was he hurt?

“Joon!” I yelled past him panicked as he helped me up.

I may have been dying for the chance to talk to Chanyeol, but my best friend and his well being was always my top priority.

“He’s alright, Kyungsoo is helping him right now.” Chanyeol said in a soft, comforting tone.

“Is he hurt!? Oh my god this is all my fault.” I said still shaken with worry.

“(Y/N)! Are you okay? Oh my god I’m so sorry I couldn’t get to you but that guy-” Namjoon rambled as he ran to me.

“Joon, forget about that! Look at you! I’m so so sorry! It’s all my fault! I’m so sorry, Joon!” I gently prodded the bruise already starting to form near the side of his eye, guilt resting in my stomach.

“It’s not your fault, it’s those guys fault. And don’t worry about me. What about you! Your cheek is bleeding.” He said gently wiping my cheek with his jacket sleeve.

“It’s sweet you two aren’t ashamed of your relationship.” Kyungsoo said, both of us freezing in shock at his words.

“You’re a cute couple.” Chanyeol added happily.

“We're not together! We're just friends, like brothers!” Namjoon explained flustered, our hands quickly retracting from each other's faces.

“Oh I’m sorry, we just assumed.” Kyungsoo apologized politely.

“But aren’t you two gay? Everyone says you’re gay.” Chanyeol blurted out, his head cocked to the side in confusion. Kyungsoo tried to subtly elbow him in the side, but he yelped in pain.

“Uh I’m not, technically. Everyone thinks we’re together but we’re not.” Namjoon responded, scratching behind his ear.

“I’m gay, but yeah, we’re not dating.” I said with an awkward chuckle. Chanyeol perked up a little.

“Really? Alright, cool.” He smiled at us.

There was an awkward pause, but Namjoon came in to save the day as always.

“Hey, we gotta go clean up these cuts and stuff, but thanks for your help. It meant alot.” Namjoon told them, his cool charismatic grin making an appearance as well.

“We just don’t like how people treat gays badly, so it was nothing.” Kyungsoo responded, I could tell he wasn’t use to socializing like this but was trying really hard to show his sincerity.

We nodded with smiles, getting our bags off the ground, and beginning to walk to my house. Namjoon once again taking my hand in his.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Namjoon asked me.

“Yeah I am, I’m more worried about you though-” I was saying when we were interrupted yet again.

“Hey, hang out with us from now on!” we heard Chanyeol happily scream behind us.

“We’re like 5 meters away. Why is he yelling so loud?” Namjoon asked rhetorically in slight annoyance.

“No idea, but I do admire his enthusiasm.” I responded with a small smile.

“He’s like an anime character. Loud, kinda dumb, and he has a shy dork who has a crush on him but is too scared to do shit but stalk him. He’s basically Naruto, but with yoda ears.” Joon said matter-of-factly, pulling the tips of his ears so they stuck out more. I knew he was trying to bait me but I couldn’t stop myself.

“Yah! He’s not stupid! He was just confused! And I don’t stalk him! I just like his smile. And his ears are like elf ears not like Yoda’s you dick!” I shot back, my cheeks starting to get warmer.

We continued our back and forth banter until we got back to my house. I got an ice pack ready, while Namjoon got the first aid kit in the bathroom. I went to Namjoon, we talked and laughed about whatever came up, and I gently pressed the ice pack to the now dark purple bruise on his left eye. The rubbing alcohol stung the cut on my cheek, and soon Namjoon was putting the bandage over the wound.

“We’re sitting with them tomorrow.” he said out of nowhere. I could tell by his set expression it would be useless arguing with him.

The next day was no different than any other day for us. That is until lunch when Joon dragged me towards Kyungsoo and Chanyeol.

“You bitch.” I whisper yelled at him.

“If you’re not gonna take the lead then I’m doing it for you. And they did help us out yesterday.” he whispered back.

“Hey, we saved you seats.” Kyungsoo greeted us happily.

“You guys came! I was worried you wouldn’t sit with us!” Chanyeol laughed, his wide smile making my heart flutter.

“Thanks Kyungsoo, and you shouldn’t worry. Especially after yesterday.” Namjoon responded to both boys, setting his tray down.

“Yeah, man. Why wouldn’t we hang out with you guys.” I added, beginning to eat.

Soon we became close friends with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo. At first we just ate together at lunch then we gradually started to hang out after school and eventually we hung out every day.

At first it kinda baffled me that Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were best friends at first. Kyungsoo was quiet, more thoughtful, and definitely more introverted than Chanyeol who was known to be loud and energetic. But the more we got to know them the more we saw how similar and compatible they were.

Kyungsoo loved anime, enjoyed cooking, and he was an amazing singer. Chanyeol loved anime too, he danced, and loved playing guitar and piano. Both of them didn’t like school, but Kyungsoo made them study and get at least decent grades. In their free time they learned songs together. Kyungsoo would sing while Chanyeol played piano or guitar. Kyungsoo wanted to become a singer, and Chanyeol wanted to become an artist as well. I learned he didn't know what he wanted to do specifically, all he knew was that wanted to work in the music industry alongside Kyungsoo.

Becoming friends with them was the best and the worst thing at the time. I got two new amazing friends that I enjoyed being around. I got to know more about Chanyeol, and spend a lot of time with him, but that also meant my complicated feelings for him increased and I had to try harder and harder to hide them.

We were at my house studying one day. We had an exam soon so we decided to study together in preparation for it. Two hours in Chanyeol began complaining, draping himself over Kyungsoo, who ignored him. This was a common occurrence. Chanyeol was very affectionate with Kyungsoo and enjoyed picking on him. He almost always was making some sort of contact with Kyungsoo, whether it was having his arm draped over the other’s shoulder or leaning on him or occasionally holding his hand in private.

Namjoon shot me a sympathetic look. I just tried focusing on my notes and textbook, but that stabbing pain in my heart stayed. I knew Chanyeol was straight but that didn’t stop me from feeling sad and jealous when he was affectionate with Kyungsoo. I tried to ignore the heartache, but it never went away. Every Time I saw him touch Kyungsoo I wondered what it would be like if he wrapped his arm around me or how his hand would feel in mine. I knew I liked boys, but this was the first time I wanted to hold someone’s hand and go on a date with them.

“Yah! (Y/N)! You’re getting bored with studying too, right? We should definitely take a break.” he said energetically, his toothy grin making me weak.

“We should.” I instantly gave into him, as usual.

“You’re just trying to get out of studying, stupid.” Kyungsoo said irritated with Chanyeol, flicking the edge of his ear.

“Soo, don’t be that way.” he cooed in response, rubbing the now red tip of his ear.

My stomach turned seeing how gently he always talked to and treated the smaller boy no matter how rough or mean he was to him.

“It’s not that late, maybe we can go get some snacks.” Namjoon suggested, turning their attention away from each other to him.

I gave him a look to silently thank him. We began packing our supplies away, and getting ready to leave. Namjoon patted me on the back, from the look in his eyes I knew he was gonna try to talk to me about this later. Then we all headed out of my room.

“You haven’t played Pokemon Gold or Silver?!” I shouted incredulously, wiping the crumbs away from the sides of my lips.

“I just haven’t! Is it that bad I haven’t!” Chanyeol shot back, opening another red bean paste bun.

“Yeah! It's the best! You're gonna play it. It's my duty as your friend to make sure you play this masterpiece.” I said firmly, taking another bite of my bun.

“Masterpiece? The character you play is like 10 pixels.” Joon teased me.

He lightly hit my bun into my face as I went to take a bite. The three boys began to laugh, I pushed Namjoon lightly, trying to clean off as much as I could.

“You shouldn't do that, Namjoon.” Kyungsoo gently scolded Namjoon, I was about to say thank you and send Joon a smug look when he continued with a heart shaped smile, “You shouldn't waste food like that.”

“Kyungsoo… I trusted you… How could you betray me like this!” I cried in mock sadness.

“Trusting me was your fault! Anyways I gotta head home now.” He said through laughter.

Chanyeol began to groan and beg him to stay out with us longer. Namjoon and I were laughing at how childish he looked, practically on his knees begging Kyungsoo who was fuming.

“I gotta go too. My dad wants me home early tonight.” Namjoon said suddenly.

“Oh, alright. Let's go then.” I responded, beginning to put my last red bean paste bun in my bag for later.

“No! It's fine! You and Chanyeol can stay out longer!” He said with a smile, but his eyes were screaming at me.

“Yeah! Chanyeol! Why don't we hang out longer?” I asked nervously, finally understanding what Namjoon was trying to do.

My hands were getting kinda moist, I felt scared but also hopeful and excited. Just the thought of spending time alone with Chanyeol made my heart go crazy.

“Definitely! At least I have one friend that cherishes me!” Chanyeol cheered as he threw his arm around my shoulders.

My heart started beating faster than it ever did before, my face felt so hot like it was on fire, and my hands began to get incredibly clammy.

I couldn't even utter a single word when we separated from Namjoon and Kyungsoo. It felt as if my brain short circuited, all I could focus on was how nice it felt to have his arm around me. He was warm and comforting, and, oh god, when he turned smiling at me. I had never felt this type of happiness before. Sure I felt really happy when I was with Namjoon, or when my parents told me that they still supported and loved me when I came out. But it was something about his smile, his arm around me, and just his presence that felt so exhilarating.

It felt like I was in a drama or a shoujo manga. We went to an arcade, played games til we ran out of coins, then we went to a park and talked about anything and everything. The whole time his smile and attention were directed at only me. It made me feel special like the protagonists in romance mangas.

We were sitting shoulder to shoulder on a park bench.

“What’s it like?” Chanyeol said vaguely. Much to my confusion.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“To be gay?” he elaborated.

“It’s no different than being straight except some people are cruel because of it.” I answered him, fidgeting with the sides of my pant legs.

“How do you know?” he questioned naively.

“I don't really know. I just kinda noticed I didn't see girls the way other guys did. That I didn't have those feelings towards girls.” I explained as best as I could.

“Do you have feelings for Namjoon?” he asked turning towards me instantaneously.

For once there was no smile on his face, his expression somber and stern.

“No, I don't. I've never had feelings for Namjoon like that.” I answered honestly, looking him directly in the eyes.

“Do you have feelings for someone else then?” he questioned me further.

“I… Well.. I… I do have feelings for a guy.” my voice wavered as I responded.

“Who?” He snapped at me.

It wasn't like him to act this way. Chanyeol was usually goofy and hyper, not serious and assertive.

Panic suddenly seized my heart. I stumbled over my own incomprehensible words. I tried avoiding his gaze, gripping my pant leg so hard my knuckles turned white. I felt a smoldering knot form in my throat, I didn't want to tell him. It hurt so much just thinking about how disgusted he'll be if I told him how I felt. The thought of him looking at me the way others did at school and saying the awful things they said terrified me to the core.

“Tell me!” Chanyeol demanded, the volume of his voice making me flinch.

That's when tears began to pour down my face.

“It's you! I like you!” I yelled back through my tears.

Suddenly he grabbed the sides of my face and his lips were on mine. As quickly as it happened it ended, and I was pulled into an embrace.

“I think… I… I like… like you a lot.” He stuttered out, burying his face in the crook of my neck.

“I'm gay too.” He confessed softly, then I felt tears wet my neck and shoulder.

I wrapped my arms around him, rubbing his back, and comforted him as he continued to cry. I murmured words of reassurance as I stroked his hair trying to soothe him.

“From the moment I saw your smile I thought you were the most amazing person ever. You took my breath away. I can't really explain it, but your smile makes my heart go wild. Then when I got to know you my feelings for you got stronger. I want to go on dates with you and hold your hand and take care of you. Chanyeol, I like you so much. Everything about you is amazing.” I mumbled, pressing kisses to his head in between words.

On that cold night, underneath the moon, I held him until he calmed down and I wiped away his tears. No words were spoken as we got up and began to walk to home together. He merely slipped his hand into mine. His tight grip said all the words that were left unspoken that night.

Neither of us uttered a word until we got to the front door of my house.

I turned to face him trying to figure out what I should say when he kissed me again. My heart fluttered feeling his lips press so gently against my own.

“I'll see you tomorrow.” He said with a blush, walking away. Leaving me with an equally red blush and a warm feeling in my soul.

A/N: Part 2 is coming soon! This fic was inspired by and named after Troye Sivan’s song on the Love, Simon soundtrack. I highly recommend it!

[theartificialdane]

Galactica, part 241

In this Violet’s world is changed, Courtney spends time with her new friends, Laila get’s hot under the collar and Alaska has to sacrifice for the team.

Thank you to @toriibelledarling @samrull and @veronicasanders - My darling cowriters <3

“Yes.. I, yes.. Thank you.. I’ll talk to you later too.. Bye.”

Violet put her phone in her bag after talking to Sutan who was spending the night with his sister. Violet turned around and walked back inside the gallery. Her shoes were hurting, the drink in her hand almost empty, the people around her mostly strangers. Someone bumped into Violet, and she silently cursed herself for not pleading more for Sutan to come along with her, but she wasn’t someone who begged. Sutan needed time with his sister, and how was she to ask twice if he had something better to do. Sutan had done so much for her lately, and she didn’t want to be the ungrateful brat, she was sure Sutan sometimes saw her as.

Violet took the last sip of her drink, getting lost in the mysterious landscapes of Hercules Segers as she walked around, when she felt a hand on her shoulder, almost making her jump. Violet turned around, and came face to face with Chad Michaels, the woman smiling brightly.

“Darling!” Chad exclaimed happily, enveloping Violet in a cloud of Dior perfume and air kisses which Violet quickly returned.

“Ms. Michaels, hello,” Violet said. “It’s so nice to see you.”

“I am just thrilled that you’re here, Violet! Especially this week! What a wonderful job you did for that Marie Claire spread.”

“Thank you.” Violet smiled, beyond happy that Chad had somehow seen her work and also realised that it was her. She hadn’t expected the other woman, or really anyone, to, and hearing the praise warmed her heart.

“I’ve been meaning to call you and it kept slipping my mind and here you are, it’s like fate!” Chad grabbed a drink for her and one for Violet from one of the waiters that walked by, still chatting away. “I recognized it instantly!”

“Really?” Violet looked at Chad, not quite believing what she was hearing, the fact that she was there alone not all that depressing anymore. Violet couldn’t imagine what would have happened if Betty or even Pearl had been there with her, Chad demanding her complete attention.

“Darling. Of COURSE we can recognize your work. I do hope that this wasn’t a one-time deal.” Chad put an arm around Violet, dragging her off to the side and somehow easily finding a couch where the two could sit down, Chad effortlessly demanding the space. “I’ve been telling that boss of yours for months that she needs to give you your own line, and it seems like she’s finally listening to me with the Marie Claire spread!”

Violet choked on her drink, almost coughing before she caught herself, her hand in front of her mouth as she swallowed the liquid.

“What?”

“The Marie Claire spread you silly goose.”

Violet felt like the breath had been knocked from her lungs. Was Chad the one that had recommended her for the Marie Claire spread? Was Chad the one that had a finger in the game, and not Sutan?

“You…you have?”

“Of course! And why not? You have such a remarkable gift, my dear!”

Chad was still chatting. Violet could see Chad’s lips moving, but she couldn’t really hear the other woman, her ears ringing. Had she been fussy with Sutan for no reason? Acting out and silently punishing him for something he had never done? Violet needed to go, she needed to go, and to apologize and tell Sutan what a colossal bitch she had been, her head spinning.

“Speaking of which, I’d love to commission a few more gowns from you, and I would be honored if you’d design something absolutely over the top for me for the Met Ball this year. What do you think?”

“I have to go.”

***

“What if we just-”

“No.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.” Detox sat down on the bed, Grace crying in his arms. The little girl had woken up for the 6th time that night, coughing and crying, her ears hurting.

“No I don’t, but I know you.” Juju took Grace from Detox, Detox silently cursing the new babysitter they had hired, that had forgotten to put Grace’s hat on before she took the small kids outside to play in the december snow.

“Sssh, ssh.” Juju gently rocked Grace back and forth, undoing her top so Grace could latch onto a nipple, the little girl finally calming down, her small hands curled into fists.

“Kids are fucking monsters.”

“And yet you have four.” Juju smiled, and Detox sat down next to her.

“And yet I have four.”

***

“Sutan. Sutan. Wake up.” Sutan felt someone shake him, but he didn’t want to wake up, his head heavy, his mouth tasting of every single drink he had shared with Raja.

{Raj, leave me alone}

Oh god. He was way too old to mix shots and wine, but stomach churning as he tried to sit up. Why was Raja being such a bitch?

“Sutan, come on, please, I have to talk to you.”

Sutan recognised the voice. It wasn’t Raja, and it wasn’t Raven, but someone else entirely.

“.. Violet?” Sutan sat up, his girlfriend sitting on the floor of his livingroom. Sutan knew it wasn’t the time, but he couldn’t help but congratulate himself that he had somehow made it home the day before. “Did you use your key?” Sutan looked down at himself, thankful that he was at least still wearing pants and his undershirt, the rest of his suit properly crumbled up somewhere.

“We have to talk.” Violet was sitting on the edge of the coffee table, her hair and outfit looking perfect. Why was it that Violet hadn’t spent the night with him? Had she gone somewhere? Fuck his head felt so heavy.

“I’m pretty- Vi, I’m pretty drunk, can this wa-”

“No.” Violet looked at him, her expression one of pure determination. “We have to talk, right now, or I’ll never say anything.”

“What?” Was Violet okay? Had something happened to hear? Sutan reached out, grabbing Violet’s knee, his girl allowing him. “Did someone hurt you?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? Violet, did someone hurt you? Do I need to call someone?” Sutan tightened his grab, the idea of someone hurting Violet unbearable to him.

“I’m sorry. I did a really bad thing and I- I thought you had forced someone to give me the Marie Claire photoshoot.”

“… What?”

The words came out in a rush, “It’s stupid, I know, I know, but I was so sure. Why else would it have been given to me?”  Sutan barely able to hear what Violet was actually saying, everything a mess like it had been at the hospital. “I can’t- I’m not, I didn’t deserve it, and I still got it,” Violet breathed in, almost gasping for air before she continued to speak, like she’d die if she didn’t get it out right away, “It’s been killing me since I secretly assumed it had been your doing, that you, oh I don’t know, made a deal with Bianca or Fame and that you didn’t trust me, and then with thanksgiving.”

Was Violet saying that she assumed Sutan had something to do with her work? That he had somehow talked his friends into giving her a photoshoot? Sutan knew he should properly feel hurt, and if he was being honest he did, but it was part of Violet to worry, and she deserved not to talk to him while he was drunk.

“Hey, hey.” Sutan moved his hand, gently taking Violet’s arm, the girl stopping her stream of words, her entire attention on him.

“I’d never do that.”

The room feel silent, Violet looking at him like he was her entire world, and Sutan took the aking the time to choose his words.

“You don’t need my help Violet.” Sutan could see that Violet was about to open her mouth, but he stopped her, quickly continuing. “If you think you do, you’re wrong. I don’t know where this is coming from, but what you achieve is yours, and I would never try to take that from you. I can guide you and give you advice if you want me to, but your career is yours, not mine. It’s yours.”

Violet threw her arms around him, holding him close, her face pressed into his neck. “I’m sorry.” Sutan wrapped an arm around Violet’s waist, giving her a tight squeesh.

“Vi..”

“Yes?”

“Can I have some water please?”

“Of course.”

***

“Augh!” Courtney shrieked as Sonja opened a bottle of champagne, spraying everyone. Vanity ducked behind her to protect her wig from getting drenched and Bethenny began to tease him.

“Really? She’s your protector? She could fit in my pocket. She’s the size of a Keebler elf.”

“Well,” Vanity reasoned. “I had to make a quick decision and Luann isn’t here.”

Ramona burst out laughing. “Where is she, anyway? She sent me a very cryptic text about why she couldn’t make it.”

“Yeah, probably because she feels guilty that she’s dating your ex,” said Carole.

“Tom isn’t my ex! We just went on a couple of dates!” Ramona insisted.

“Well, whatever, she still should have told you when she started dating him. Just like she should have told Sonja, or HE should have told Sonja. The whole thing is very shady.” Bethenny shook her head, pouring another drink. “I do not approve. Breaking the girl code.”

“Girl code! Girl code!” Ramona mocked Luann’s latest catchphrase, laughing.

Sonja leaned on her shoulder giggling.

“So the three of you all dated the same guy?” Courtney asked.

“Is he like, amazing in bed?” Vanity asked.

“He’s fine in bed,” Sonja said. “I wouldn’t say ‘amazing.’”

“He’s desperate to bag a Housewife, apparently,” Bethenny explained. “You’re lucky you’re gay.”

“Yeah, I say a prayer of thanks for that every day,” Courtney said, laughing.

“So what’s this show gonna be like?” asked Ramona. “Do you have hot backup dancers?” She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

“Yeah, they’re super hot,” said Courtney.

“Ramona, you’re talking to a lesbian, you may need to clarify if she means hot boys or hot girls.”

“I knew what she meant,” Courtney said, laughing. “And I’ve got both, Bethenny.” Courtney winked at the brunette.

“Well, good. That gives us more choices.”

Ramona’s eyes bugged out in shock, causing both Carole and Bethenny to dissolve in giggles.

“I’m kidding, you idiot,” Bethenny yelled.

“Well, ya never know with you,” said Ramona.

“Indeed,” Carole said coyly.

“I think we should plan a girls’ trip,” said Ramona.

“I’m so confused as to what the fuck this is,” Bethenny said.

“This is just an overnight. I mean like a real, solid, like 4 or 5 days.”

“I’m busy,” Carole said.

“I haven’t said any dates!” Ramona laughed.

“I know.” Carole poured herself another drink.

“I have a question,” Courtney said. “When you say ‘Girls’ Trip,’ is that code for ‘no significant others’ or does it just mean girls?”

“What’s the difference?”

“I just, I don’t know, 5 days seems like a long time. B’s been feeling kind of neglected lately.” Courtney didn’t add her next thought, which was ‘Leaving her alone when she’s feeling hard up seems like asking for trouble.’

“Remember how much shit you gave Aviva for wanting to bring her husband to St Bart’s?” Sonja laughed.

“Well yeah, because Aviva was crazy. And her husband was a jerk. Bianca might actually be fun,” Ramona said.

“You don’t have to say yes, I was just wondering.”

“I think it’s kind of sweet,” said Carole. “And kind of sad that the 22 year old has the most functional relationship here.”

“It’s not sweet,” Vanity piped up. “They are fucking nymphomaniacs who are gonna be scissoring all over your vacation home.”

Courtney slapped Vanity on the side of the head. “Shut up, Ben!” she exclaimed, laughing.

“Well, it’s true. And I’m not even touching ‘functional relationship,’” she added, holding out her champagne glass. “I need another drink, quickly.”

“Ya dog-ass mole,” Courtney grumbled, crossing her arms.

***

RE: Christmas

Dear Ms. Michaels,

I’m so sorry for leaving you as abruptly as I did last night. I want to assure you that working with you for the christmas season would be a tremendous honor to design a look for you. I’ve made a few sketches based on your tastes and preferences. I have attached the sketches, and I hope that we can use them as jumping off points for discussions.

Thank you for your encouragement.

Best wishes,

Violet

*

RE: RE: Christmas

VIOLET THESE ARE DIVINE!! #2 IS MY FAVORITE!!

You MUST let me take you out to lunch this week so that we can talk more!!

Xoxo,

Chad

*

RE: RE: RE: Christimas

Ms. Michaels,

It would be my absolute pleasure to go to lunch with you! Thank you again for your support, I’m very greatful.

Best wishes,

Violet

***

“Hey babe.”

Laila looked up from her computer, her hands filled with swatched from the tour she had done of her most used lipsticks. She looked up to see Pearl, her girlfriend standing in the doorway, a smile on her lips. Pearl had gone out earlier that night, Laila not even catching that Pearl was going out, until she was already gone, her and Max apparently hitting some concert in Harlem.

“Did you have a good time?”

“Mmmh.” Pearl nodded, her eyes filled with a lustful glint, like she wanted to eat Laila up, and Laila suddenly felt self conscious of her sweatpants and her braided purple hair. “I had whiskey.”

“Did you?”

“Mmh..” Pearl was wearing sinful leather pants, her long legs clad in the black fabric, her hips and stomach peaking out from the shirt that was tied into a crop top.

“… Is that my top?” Laila recognised the Metallica logo, the shirt one she had owned for years and one she usually wore to bed, but on Pearl, paired with a black jacket, it looked like something that had cost a thousand dollars.

“Is it?” Pearl smiled. “I’m so sorry babe, I’ll make it up to you right away.” Pearl took her jacket off, and Laila felt her mouth run dry as Pearl dropped the jacket on the floor, pushing the door shut behind before. “Are you mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at you.”

“Are you sure?” Pearl pulled at the shirt, undoing the knot she had tied with ease, her red nails tugging the fabric open before she grabbed it and slowly pulled it up, up, up and over her head, her long blonde hair falling down her back, Laila recognising Pearl’s underwear as La Perla, something she wouldn’t have been able to do at gunpoint a year ago.

“Because I think you should punish me.”

Laila smiled, Pearl’s desire for her thick in the air, the power going to her head as she held up her hand and gestured for Pearl to get closer, which she happily did.

“How can I say no to that?”

***

“Oh my god, I’m so fucking tired…” Jinkx moaned, tossing her clothes and shoes to the floor and climbing into bed. “What are we watching?”

Adore kissed her forehead and began to play with her red hair, cuddling back against Alaska’s warm body. “Forensic Files.”

“That shit gives me nightmares.”

“Awww, we’ll protect you, baby…”

Alaska giggled and pressed a soft kiss to the back of Adore’s neck. She wasn’t into the gruesome murder show either, so she chose to distract herself by letting her fingers trail up and down Adore’s tender skin, hands snaking between her thighs, lips finding her pulse point, sucking on her, rubbing her, until she was sighing and arching, breath coming fast and–

“AUGH!” Adore suddenly shrieked, pushing Alaska away.

“What?” Alaska sat up.

Adore whipped her head around, glaring at her, “That’s IT!” She leapt out of the bed and into the adjoining bathroom.

“What happened?” Jinkx murmured sleepily from her pillow.

“I told you, if that happened ONE MORE TIME!” Adore said, marching back into the bedroom, brandishing a pair of nail clippers like a weapon.

“Nooooooo!” Alaska whined.

“Oh yes! Those nails are GONE, bitch!” She threw back her head and laughed maniacally.

“But I liiike my naaaaaaaails,” she countered, as Adore straddled her and attempted to grab one of her hands.

“Well tough shit! No more nails!”

“Jiiiiiinkx!” Alaska whined, looking for support.

“Yeah, Jinkx, please help me out?” Adore looked over at the sleepy redhead.

Jinkx looked up. “I’ll give you a thousand dollars for every nail you cut.”

Alaska held out her hand for Adore. “Okay, deal.”

“Wait, that’s ten grand! Do I get anything for cutting them?” Adore asked.

“You can order a pizza. Alaska will pay for it.” Jinkx yawned and rolled over.

“Okay, deal.” Adore giggled and began to cut away, then paused to kiss Alaska on the cheek. “I’m sorry about your nails, boo.”

“Sorry about scratching you.”

“It’s okay. You can kiss it better.” Adore winked at her.

“You got it.”

***

Courtney twirled around with Vanity, high on expensive liquor and the adrenaline of performing. She’d just finished signing autographs for a gaggle of teenage girls, and now she was hitting the club with the ladies.

The DJ was young and sexy and giving her bedroom eyes, and he was blasting Lucien’s dance remix of Ecstasy. Subtle, but cute. She blew him a kiss and continued to spin around with her brother, wondering if it was totally narcissistic to enjoy dancing to her own music this much and deciding that she didn’t care.

“Do you miss Bianca?” Carole called to her over the music, slinging an arm over her shoulders.

Courtney felt a surge of guilt bloom in her chest. The truth was, she hadn’t really thought about Bianca since she’d stepped onto the stage. She’d been having way too much fun. The reality of her newfound independence was both unsettling and freeing. Things with B had been so tense lately, especially since the whole Thanksgiving disaster. Maybe they should be doing more things apart. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be. Couples weren’t supposed to be codependent, right? This was them evolving into something healthier, something more adult, right? Right?

Courtney looked at Carole, smiling sweetly. “So much,” she said wistfully. “But I know she’s having a good time in New York, and this way it’ll be that much better when we see each other again.”

Carole nodded and exclaimed, “Exactly!”

Courtney tilted her eyes upwards and breathed a sigh of relief as the music echoed off the walls. When I don’t even know my name, when my reckless can’t be tamed…and when the DJ sets us free, we will be in ecstasy…

[ksluts]

Be A Good Girl (Min Yoongi x Reader Smut)

(Not edited.)

Bangtan, all of my girl group and me were sat in a circle on the floor of the living room in BTS’ dorm.

My girl group was Bangtan’s female counterpart. We were to be as similar as them as possible. I was a rapper, and specificly, Yoongi’s counterpart.

I had always adored him and looked up to him as an artist but ever since I had gotten to know him personally I had developed feelings for him. I could go on and on about everything I loved about him.

We all sat in the circle. Yoongi was directly across from me. The was a bag we had used for everyone to put a possession of theirs in. I had put in (whatever you would put in. Don’t be fucking stupid and say something like a triceratops people of Tumblr.)

Once everyone had something in the bag, Namjoon started.

He pulled out a red heart bracelet. “Jin?”

The brown haired male stood up quickly. “Let us deepen our bromance.” He said as he walked towards the closet. Namjoon followed.

Once they closed the door and someone started the time, everyone started talking.

“What do you think they’re doing in there?” One of my members asked me.

“I don’t know but I hope its something really gay.” I said.

I secretly shipped them.

After the seven minutes were up, they walked out of the closet, hand in hand. Namjoon’s hair was a little messy and Jin had hickies on his neck so it looked like they had a nice time.

Next was me. I reached my hand in a pulled out a Kumamon plush. “Oh I got Yoongo Boy.”

I saw my members look up at me with smirks on their faces. They all knew I had a crush on him. It was no big secret that I would die for to protect. Im surprised he hasn’t found out.

We walked to the closet together and behind us we heard whispering.

I shut the door behind us. As soon as I turned back around to face him I was pushed against a wall.

“Listen, we only have seven minutes and Im gonna make the most of it.” He whispered in his deep voice. I shivered. He pressed his lips against mine. He kissed me hard and I responded with equal passion.

My hands went to his hair where I gently tugged. His hands went down to my ass where he gripped in tight in his hands before he started kneading it.

I moaned accidently and I felt him smirk. “Im gonna make you do that a lot more, but ten times louder.”

His lips trailed down to my collarbones. He left bruises and teeth marks.

He pulled me down onto the floor with him. I sat on his lap; his hands were still on my ass.

I grinded against him and I could start to feel him get excited. His hands went under my shirt and he started to trace my sides with his fingers.

I ground harder against him. He grunted and lifted me up off his lap slightly so he could spank me. I whined out.

Suddenly, the door flew open and standing there was all of our members.

“The time is up.” Someone said.

“And something else is also up.” Said Jungkook.

I didn’t understand what he meant before I looked down and realized that Yoongi now had a visible tent in his pants. “Shit…” I heard him mumble.

I sat there, stuck on his lap and red in the face. I didn’t know what to say.

Yoongi stood up suddenly with me in his arms. “Yeah, we aren’t playing anymore. We have to go first ish something.” He said to them before he ran to his room and locked the door behind us.

He threw me onto the bed. “God (y/n) you have no idea go long Ive wanted to do this to you.”

He pulled my shirt over my head and pulled my pants off me, revealing my bra and panties.

“Lace, really? Did you expect this to happen?”

He undid the clasp to my bra and immeadiently started messaging my breasts. I moaned out.

His fingers slowly made their way down into my panties and pushed them aside. “Already soaking wet and Ive barley done anything.”

He pushed two of his fingers in suddenly causing me to yelp loudly. Surprise quickly turned to pleasure though when he started to thrust them in and out of me.

His mouth latched onto mine again but it wasn’t the passionate kissing from before. It was a flurry of open mouthed wet kisses that made me even more breathless. “Please Yoongi.” I begged. I wanted this more than anything.

He smirked and pulled back. He took his fingers out of me and I whimpered.

“Now if you do everything I say, maybe you’ll get your way.” He said with a smirk. He laid down on the bed. “Undress me.”

I jumped at him eagerly. I pulled his shirt over his headcas fast as I could. I undid his belt and pulled his pants down.

Finally my fingers wrapped around the waist band of his boxers. I pulled them down.

I looked up at the sight that was his dick. “Blow me.” He said simply.

I wasted no time in wrapping my hand around the base before I took the tip into my mouth. I swirled my tongue around it before taking more into my mouth.

Before long I was starting to swallow around him. I was trying my absolute best not to gag.

One of his hands were in my hair while the other was playing with my breast which caused me to moan against his member.

Yoongi wasn’t much of a moaner. Mostly just pants and grunts. On the occasion a moan would slip past his lips.

I bobbed my head up and down but he gripped my hair and held my head in place and started to thrust up into my mouth instead. “Don’t think you’re in control.” He said in between groans of satisfaction.

He suddenly pulled him self out of my mouth. “I can’t wait any longer.” He said.

He took my panties and ripped them off me. I let out a whine elf protest. “Be quiet. I’ll buy you more when you’re mine.”

He laid back down on the bed on his back and motioned for me to come over to him. “Be a good little girl and ride me.”

I nodded. I sat myself down on his thighs at forst. I looked down at what was supposed to fit in me.

I lifted my hips up over his dick and lowered myself down. I moaned loudly as I sunk down onto him.

“Fuck…” He whispered, putting his hands on my hips.

I began to swivel my hips around before I started bouncing up and down.

His fingers dug into my sides and I knew there would be bruises but I didn’t care.

I bounced as fast as I could and tried to land as hard as I could.

I could feel his cock deep inside of me, rubbing against my walls.

“You take me so well baby girl. I can’t believe I didn’t fuck you sooner.”

I leaned down and pressed my forehead against his. The pleasure was all too much.

He started to thrust up into me hard. I moaned loudly.

He continued to thrust up into me and I tried to keep pace with him by still bouncing.

I started feeling avseries of stings on my ass and realized he was spanking me. “Oh Yoongi, Im so close.” I said aloud.

My mouth was right next to his ear so he could hear everyone of the pretty little noises that came out of it.

He grabbed my ass and started basicly throwing me down onto him. I screamed his name as I came all over his dick.

He rode out my orgasm and I sat back up. On him.

He pushed me off onto the floor. He sat up and started jerking off in front of my face. I opened my mouth.

Soon his thick ropes of cum made it mostly into my mouth. Some of it was on other parts of my face. “Swallow.” He commanded.

I did as I was told like a good girl. He took his finger and cleaned up the cum that was on my face and put that in my mouth too. I sucked everything off of it. “Good girl.” He said with a smirk.

He laid down and motioned for me to join him. He pulled the cover s up over us. “Wasn’t that fun?” He asked with his adorable gummy smile.

“Mmhmm.” I responded and I buried my face into his chest and we both fell asleep.

******BONUS ENDING******

(While NamJin was in the closet.)

“Alright lets make this look like something went on.” Namjoon said, ruffling his hair to look messy.

Jin took a little suction cup out of his pocket and started using on his neck, making it look like hickies. “ARMYs are lucky we love them so much. There’s no doubt Jungkook will post about this on Instagram.”

“I kinda wished ARMYs had better things to do than sit around and read Korean gay shit like this.” (@Admin Mawni) (okay who am I kidding me too…)

~Admin Jageun

[carcinoaquarium]

alright kk, don't say i didn't warn you lmao: Dearest Karkat, I am the anon whom you blessed with that dragon age tangent and i was bettered for it bc that tangent was great. When I played da:i I knew jack-all about the characters and literally only chose to be an elven female bc she had the most romantic options and I was going in thinking 'hell yeah imma romance the first available qunari of the series, you kidding me?' (1/7)

And then i chatted w solas and the literal first 'flirt' option w him is to tell him you aren't going to harass him for being an apostate and that was so /sad/ to think about, like he's so...lonely? Not to mention his greatest fear is dying alone?? Also he was hella intelligent and had interesting conversations and was suave as fuck, and I ended up being like "iron bull who?" and got my hEART RIPPED FROM MY CHEST, OW because solas has gotta be one of my fave villains in media to date. (2/7)

Also loghain, whom I didn't really appreciate until after I'd beheaded him. Whoops. Actually, I'd love to keep talking to you about dragon age?? i haven't been able to chat w a new(ish) fan in ages and these games have such depth. (also, dorian was absolutely my inquisitor's moirail, too, tbh. Although that's technically a romantic relationship, and Dorian is gay...? They're def BFFLs, tho, once Dorian was less racist against elves. Everyone in dai was kinda racist against elves.) (3/7)

Actually, elf Inquisitors kind of got a really fucking short stick in da:i. Not only did all of thedas hate them for being an elf, but there wasn't a single elf in that party that didn't challenge and beat on their religion (which is worse if they weren't already questioning it, as my inquisitor was), and even the people you can date don't seem to comfort you once your entire understanding of the world comes crashing down around your eyes. (4/7) (shit, i might hit the ask limit)

To a lesser extent this happens to the dwarves, too! Like, idk if you played the Descent dlc, but spoiler-free the dwarven religion is kind of picked apart and in the Tresspasser sequel we find out the ancient elves did a lot of shitty subjugating of the dwarven race, and not to mention the qunari are implied to be a race made through scientific genetic SPLICING of human and/or elven genes with fucking /dragons/, and it's like?? Man, give these fantasy races a break. (5/7)

Humans were the only ones who weren't really fucked with, they just kinda showed up from the north and invaded thedas while all that other political stuff was going on. But playing as a human's always seemed so boring to me, lmao. Did you play DA:O and DA2, too? (6/7) I feel like 200% nerd power right now,but the amount of effort and heart bioware put into these games is fascinating and i can't help but love dissecting it. Feel free to respond in private if u don't wanna clog ur blog w DA. (7/7)

--

YES. LET’S DO THIS. PROBABLY GOING TO BE A LONG REPLY SO I’LL READ MORE THIS SHIT.

ALTHOUGH I ONLY PERSONALLY PLAYED THROUGH ONE ROMANCE I OF COURSE HAD TO WATCH ALL OF THE COMPILATIONS ON YOUTUBE BECAUSE THAT’S JUST THE KIND OF GLUTTON I AM. SO YEAH. I AM FAMILIAR WITH SOLAS’ ROMANCE ARC. AND MAN I HAVE TO SAY YOU HAD TO BE MASOCHISTIC AS HELL TO RIDE THAT ONE OUT AND ENDURE THE MOST HEARTBREAKING OUTCOME OF THEM ALL. BLACKWALL WAS BAD ENOUGH, BUT AT LEAST, YOU KNOW, IT GETS BETTER IF YOU CHOOSE IT TO. 

DON’T GET ME WRONG, IT PLAYED OUT BEAUTIFULLY. BUT SADFPSDHFHSDF I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ABLE SEE THAT THROUGH. 

AND I SERIOUSLY DID NOT SEE SOLAS’ TURN COMING. IT WAS AMAZING. HE WAS SO CONVINCING THE ENTIRE TIME. JUST THE BOOKISH APOSTATE ELF WHO LIKED TO PAINT MURALS AND FANBOY OVER THE FADE IN IAMBIC PENTAMETER. FUCKING. IAMBIC. PENTAMETER. THAT WAS PRETTY AMAZING. ERIDAN APPRECIATED THAT. ALTHOUGH IT WAS HARD NOT TO THINK OF SOLLUX WHEN WE SAID HIS NAME. ESPECIALLY ERIDAN. 

fuckin sol

BUT HOLY SHIT. I NEVER SAW IT COMING. AND YET WHEN YOU PLAYTHROUGH A SECOND TIME YOU SEE ALL THE LITTLE HINTS. MY SECOND PLAYTHROUGH WAS FULL OF ME SCREAMING AT THE SCREEN 

“OOOOOH, SUUUUUUURE. TELL ME YOUR VAGUE ASS REASON FOR BEING HERE AGAIN, YOU LYING PIECE OF SHIT.”

“I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, DREAD WOLF. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE.”

“YOU KNOW WHAT? THE FADE IS BORING. SPIRITS ARE BORING.”

“MAYBE I SHOULD SKIP THESE ELVEN PUZZLES THIS TIME, EGGSPONGE. OR MAYBE PISS IN THIS WELL. OR FIGHT THE IMMORTAL ELF DUDE. HMMMM??"

“I’M RUBBING MY BULGE AAAAALLL OVER THIS FEN’HAREL STATUE. YEAH. THAT’S RIGHT. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT??”

“WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO GIVE YOU A *HAND* WITH THAT QUEST??? OH I BET YOU WOULD.”

SERIOUSLY THOUGH I THOUGHT THE WAY SOLAS’ CHARACTER ARC UNROLLED WAS MASTERFUL. THE WAY HE PULLS THE INQUISITOR ASIDE NEAR THE END OF THE MAIN GAME TO TELL THEM THAT THEY EXCEEDED HIS EXPECTATIONS AND THAT HE TRULY VALUES THEM AS A FRIEND... I DON’T THINK I’LL EVER REALLY KNOW IF HE MEANT IT BUT I LIKE TO THINK HE DID. AND THAT IT GENUINELY SURPRISED HIM THAT THE PERSON HE WAS OUT TO MANIPULATE NEARLY CHANGED HIS WORLD VIEW IN THE END. THAT’S HOW YOU WRITE A THREE DIMENSIONAL ANTAGONIST.

FFFF. THE RACE SHENANIGANS. DRAGON AGE AND SKYRIM REALLY LIKE TO PLAY UP THE DISCRIMINATION AND OUTRIGHT PERSECUTION OF ELVES, WHICH STANDS IN SHARP CONTRAST TO THE TOLKIENIAN LORE IT ALL STEMS FROM WHERE ELVES ARE (MOSTLY) POWERFUL AND RESPECTED AMONG HUMANS. I LIKE IT THOUGH. IT’S AN INTERESTING SPIN. THE DWARF HATE TOO. I FUCKING LOVED THE WAY THE ORLEASIAN COURT NOT-SO-COVERTLY THREW SHADE AT YOU IN THE WINTER PALACE FOR BEING A DIRTY LOWBLOOD INFERIOR RACE. IT MADE PUTTING THEM ALL IN THEIR PLACE A WHOLE LOT SWEETER. AGAIN. WISH FULFILLMENT.

I HAVE TO AGREE THOUGH THAT THE GAME SOMETIMES KIND OF DID A SHITTY JOB OF ACKNOWLEDGING THE ELF AND DWARF INQUISITORS’ PERSONAL STRUGGLES WITH THEIR RACE, AND I GUESS THAT COMES DOWN TO THE SHIPLOAD OF DIALOGUE CUSTOMIZATION THE DEVS ALREADY HAD ON THEIR PLATE. I REMEMBER BEING ESPECIALLY PISSED OFF TALKING TO DAGNA WHERE SHE FUCKING SEEMED TO FORGET NELLIE WAS *ALSO* A DWARF HALF THE FUCKING TIME. 

AND THEN OTHER TIMES THE GAME WAS RANDOMLY REALLY GOOD IN THAT REGARD. IT WAS HIT AND MISS. ERIDAN DID AN ELF PLAYTHROUGH THAT I SAT IN ON AND I REMEMBER HOW COOL IT WAS BEING ABLE TO INTERACT WITH THE DALISH CLAN IN THAT INSIDER KIND OF WAY. BUT IT’S TRUE THAT PRETTY MUCH NONE OF THE ROMANTIC INTERESTS GIVE YOUR RACE MORE THAN *ONE* PASSING MENTION. CULLEN’S ROMANCE WITH A MAGE PLAYS WAY MORE HEAVILY INTO THINGS THAN SAY THE FACT THAT MALE LAVELLAN CAN DATE A GODDAMN *TEVINTER* ALTUS AND THE SLAVE THING IS BROUGHT UP A GRAND TOTAL OF ONCE.   

AND AS A SIDENOTE THE FACT THAT IF YOU CHOOSE THE NECROMANCER MAGE SPECIALIZATION, DORIAN-THE-GOD-DAMN-NECROMANCER HAS FUCK ALL TO SAY ABOUT IT. EVEN IF YOU ROMANCE HIM. WHICH AMPORA DID. AND HE WAS PISSED. 

SPEAKING OF AMPORA, HE ACTUALLY DID ROLL A HUMAN AT FIRST, BUT FIVE MINUTES IN HE WAS SO BORED WITH HIS CHARACTER HE ALMOST GAVE UP THE GAME FOR GOOD. SO YEAH. I FEEL YOU THERE. 

BUT YEAH. THE SUGAR COATING ON THE CONFECTIONERY ITEM IS DEFINITELY THE FACT THAT THE GAME HINGES ON BASICALLY SOLAS DESTROYING DALISH LEGITIMACY. AND AS A DALISH INQUISITOR IT’S LIKE. OH. OK. SURE. MY LIFE WAS A LIE. NO BIG DEAL. NOW WHO’S READY FOR A VACATION IN TEVINTER BECAUSE BOY HOWDY ME AND MY QUNARI FRIEND ARE DOWN FOR SOME FIRST CLASS NORTHERN HOSPITALITY.

AS MUCH AS I CAN COMPLAIN ABOUT A LOT OF IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I NEVER PLAYED THE PREVIOUS GAMES BUT I ABSORBED THE DRAGON AGE WIKI AND I THINK I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT WENT DOWN. I HAVE DA:O AND I DO PLAN ON PLAYING IT SOME TIME.

THE SADDEST PART IS THAT IT SEEMS PRETTY CERTAIN THAT THE SERIES IS PERMA-DEAD. AND I ACTUALLY WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO WHERE THEY SEEMED TO BE TAKING IT. IT’S A FUCKING SHAME.

[thefairymademedoit]

How Remus Lupin and Sirius Black figured out their sexuality

So, Remus was the first to (-realise) fall for Sirius 

It was on fifth year, when James pranked Sirius stealing his robes while he was in the shower 

Resulting on Sirius running after James through the entire dorm in only a towel

Sirius was completely unashamed of his body. And for a reason.

Remus knew Sirius was handsome, everyone knew, that was like common knowledge

But he was also hot. In a very sexual way. 

And suddenly the reason of why his friendship with Sirius felt a bit different from James and Peter made so much sense. 

Of course Remus didn't say anything, I mean, Sirius flirts with every girl in the castle. He's very much straight.

So Remus doesn't say anything to anyone and just tries to focus on figuring out his sexuality

He eventually figures out that the reason of why it took him so long to realise that, was because he was bisexual, so he always felt attracted to girls, and boys just never crossed his mind. He didn't have such a fragile masculinity to panic just because he agrees that a boy is cute

Until Sirius that is.

Shit, that boy is just. So. Hot. 

And now Remus is aware of his sexuality and even embraced it

Witch makes things that much more difficult

Sirius has always been touch starved, ‘cause his family is shit

So he is very touchy and needy with his friends, the people he can trust

And even more with Remus because they're all about "protect moony at all cost" 

So in the very last day of the school year, Remus has been on edge a lot, cause Sirius has been extra needy as he always is at the end of the year

So he explodes and tells Lily everything

(It's kinda weird at first because he's not that close to her, but it's not fair to ask james to keep that secret from Sirius [he wouldn't make it even if he tried] and Peter was always so eager to be praised and useful for those two that Remus kinda felt he would tell them right away.)

So Lily it was. 

And thank Merlin he did, cause besides of feeling much better, Lily actually helped a lot.

She was very mature about the whole thing and seemed to really understand what having to hide attraction to someone felt like (which Remus didn't dare to ask- she seemed very frustrated about it) 

So they grew very close during the summer. Because they both lived in muggle neighborhoods (and Lily didn't have a wizard friend to play anymore) they saw each other a lot 

That made James slightly uneasy when they were back at Hogwarts 

And Remus had to reassure him about it and ended up telling James half-truths about why they were close now. Because he just wouldn't relax

"What if you two fall in love? You can't control these things moony, it just happens! and you're just so much more mature than I am! Lily will obviously like you more! And then I will be in the middle of your happiness and completely heart broken! What will we do then moony??" 

"Oh my god prongs, shut the fuck up I'm in love with someone else" 

Witch although did help James with his insecurities, now he was extremely curious.

And James Potter always gets what he wants, even if it is a fraction of it

And that's how everyone found out Remus is bi

Well, not exactly everyone, just the inner circle 

It wasn't as bad as Remus thought it would be though. I mean, they already accepted him as a werewolf 

And maybe now Sirius would stop the hugging and caressing at least while he was shirtless

He was wrong. Nothing changed. 

If anything it was worst

"He keeps asking me if he looks hot in his outfits Lily!!!! Of course you look hot! You would look hot dressed as a goddamn motherfucking house elf for fuck’s sake!! " 

So Remus suffered a lot those days, with unexpected erections and Sirius flirting with everyone

Including Remus (which somehow became worse after he came out) 

And Lily thought that was weird because if Sirius truly didn't care… nothing would change right? 

So she decided to test a theory 

It was on a Friday night right in the middle of sixth year, the group was playing truth or dare and she just dared Sirius to kiss everyone that was playing

She didn't want to drive too much attention on Remus in case he couldn't keep his shit together 

Of course people was allowed to say no, but it was Sirius so it would'nt be weird and everybody kinda wanted to know what pretty boy was capable of

So everyone said yes

Even Frank and Alice, who were already dating by then

Remus was sitting by his right and James by his left 

So he started with James 

(It was a weird kiss, even if it was a peck on the mouth it still felt kinda brotherly) 

He was somewhat respectful with the couple even tho it was still funny and carefree

He made a whole big deal with Peter (“ATTENTION EVERYONE, PETE WILL BE CONTEMPLATED WITH A WONDERFUL FIRST KISS BY ME”)

There was no big deal with Marlene and Dorcas since they had already kissed on previous years (“dark days those were" Marlene commented)

(Lily only realised that she was also a part of the group when it was too late but, Oh well, karma I guess) he made a lot of jokes and drama but it was quick and sorta respectful even tho James didn't say anything and didn't seem too fussed about it either [she kinda admired both of them for it, but don't tell anyone]

So finally, it was Remus turn 

He tried his best to look calm and collected but Lily saw the whole inner battle happening while everyone was distracted with the other kisses 

Remus didn't refuse and Lily worried that it was only because he couldn't find a good excuse, until she saw the eagerness in his eyes. 

Weirdly (or not so much) Sirius didn't joke around much, neither made a big deal out of it 

He just asked "Moony, will you give me the honor of allowing me to kiss you on this beautiful night?" 

Remus just silently nodded and raised his chin forward (just because he was sitting and Sirius kneeling, cause of course Remus is taller) 

Lily (as she was right beside them) saw Sirius just look at Remus' face for a second before leaning 

And it was different. Different from the others. 

It wasn't because it was the longest, since he took a long time making a big deal with Peter, even tho it was longer than the rest

It was hands on jaws, and necks, and fingers through soft hair and carressing cheeks

It was just… a bit deeper, and a bit more caring, and a bit more delicate

Just that little bit.

And there was no joke afterwards (he was giving joke-scores. Peter got a 1) 

But not for Remus

Sirius just stood there for exact 2 seconds looking at Remus with a weird (wondering) face before sitting on his spot 

Remus was blushing furiously and seemed to want to run out, but that would give too much away, so the game just kept going

Until two short rounds later when Lily took pity on him and asked if he would help her get snacks

He was up even before she was  

Lily was a bit worried if he was mad at her or something so she approached him carefully

"What? Mad? No, of course not. It didn't rose any suspicion because he kissed everyone and I had time to prepare myself"

"So how was it?"

He didn't answer anything, just made a bunch of dramatic expressions and slowly exhaled a charged "Fuuuuck" 

She gave him a little laugh and they both made their way to the kitchens while Remus gushed of how fucked he was 

"What about Sirius? Your kiss was sorta different than everyone else's, right?"

"Yeah…"

For the next few days, Sirius was a bit weird 

He was more energetic [Which is saying a lot] almost antsy, but much more distracted as well

He also spent a lot of time talking to James in private, more than usual

Lily and Remus caught Sirius staring at Remus with a wondering face a few times 

And he didn't hook up with any girls

So, a month or so after the dare, Sirius came out as gay. To the whole Gryffindor

"ATTENTION EVERYONE, IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: turns out the reason why I hook up with all these girls is because I was looking for one that would make me feel something and the reason of why none of them actually did is because I am very much gay. (gasps) Yeah yeah, I was a bit reluctant on telling everyone at first but then I realized that this will make my parents really pissed So if anyone got a problem with my sexuality, you can come and talk to me directly"

James was right behind him with a very intimidating face at that. 

Sirius didn't stop being touchy and needy with Remus after that 

If anything he was even more 

And Remus grew somewhat more confident around Sirius 

He complained to Lily a lot less even tho not much had changed 

Sirius still kinda flirted with everyone, but it was part of his personality at this point 

When no one was listening Remus casually and nonchalantly flirted back with him and admired the very rare and adorable sight of Sirius Black blushing 

Remus was also in a constant good mood

So one day Lily just turns to him and says: 

"You know Sirius is into you" 

"Yes" 

"But you're not gonna say anything nor make a move" 

"No"

…

"I suffered for one and a half years, he can take it a bit longer"

But if Sirius had been on Remus place he wouldn't have lasted a week because he was very bad at hiding his feelings

So Remus provoked him more and more 

To the point of Remus’ feelings also being very obvious to everyone except for Sirius

That became a running joke through the entire group because of course James can keep a "secret"  from Sirius if it's for a prank 

Besides flirting back, Remus would start casually actively flirting with Sirius as well

And he would promptly reciprocate Sirius touches with more intimacy 

And he would always get closer to him to speak and use a lower voice 

Even unnecessarily 

There was this one morning that Remus got right next to Sirius ear and with the voice still hoarse from sleep, said "can you pass the milk?" and Sirius startled and flushed so much that he got up, passed Remus the milk, and left the great Hall without saying a single word 

James spilled juice out of his nose from laughing so hard 

Remus laughed too but also worried if Sirius would ever make a move 

It was one day when Remus decided to walk around the dorm room wearing only a towel that something finally happened 

James seemed to have predicted that it would be the last straw cause he got up from his bed and dragged Peter out 

Remus wasn't planning on parading a lot (not like Sirius did on fifth year) but Sirius face was just too much 

It went from shock, to drooling, to frustration very quickly 

So he just asked: 

"Rem, what are you doing?"

"Why, looking for my PJ Sirius, what looks like I'm doing?"

"..." 

Remus found this very soft shorts that his mother got him last summer, put it on, sat on his bed and got a book. 

He was not planning on putting that on, but he finally felt that something would happen, so he decided to Improvise

"Are you going to sleep on just that?" 

"Yeah, my mom got it for me, you don't like it?" 

"Oh I really like it, but aren't you gonna be cold?"  

"June is just a month away, call it the wolf, but I'm hot" 

"Yeah you are"

"Sorry, what was that Sirius?" 

"I said yes, you are very hot" 

Remus wasn't quite expecting that, so he just stared back at Sirius 

Who got up from his bed and slowly walked towards Remus

"I see. So, you have been playing with me Lupin" 

"Really, why do you think that?" Remus replied with a mischievious smirk 

"All this time and you knew, you little shit. The whole torture" 

Remus snorted

"Well you're not very subtle, padfoot" 

"Well glad to know that I don't have to try to hide it anymore" 

Sirius replied as he climbed remus's bed (and Remus himself) 

"No, I don't think you have" Remus said softly

And they kissed. A lot. For a long time. But things got very heated and Remus was wearing only those shorts so they broke apart for self controlling reasons 

Remus put his real PJs on, cause it actually wasn't that hot, much for Sirius unhappiness.

"Why didn't you say something? Since when have you known?" Sirius asked

Remus chuckled "I’ve known that I liked you since last year, and suffered a lot trying to hide it, so I thought you could feel it a bit too. I noticed your tells since the dare, thank Lily bytheway"

"Lily?" 

"I told her first than everyone else, to vent, and she said she noticed that you had a vibe, so she made that dare for us to kiss without raising suspicion. It worked" 

"Damn it, Evans." 

After some more kissing, Sirius said:

"I know how to compensate her"

"Yeah? How?" 

"Do you also think she likes James more than she did before?" 

Remus snorted

"Oh yeah, completely in love actually, I don't know if she just doesn't say something out of pride or if she's not sure James still likes her since he hasn't made a move in awhile" 

Sirius smirks and leaves the bedroom, a few minutes later he comes back looking very pleased with himself

"So, pride or insecurity?" 

"Both" Sirius replied and kissed Remus again. 

After a few kisses James barged in the dorm looking very disheveled 

"LILY ASKED ME OUT!! LILY EVANS!! ASKED ME!! OUT!! SHIT!!! WHAT?!?" 

Remus just smiles and says "Congratulations mate" with Sirius still on his lap 

And Sirius replies "well, what did you say?" Sarcastically

But James went very still and very pale at those words, and ran off again

After a few shocked seconds Remus just whispers: "that fucking idiot actually forgot to reply" 

And they all laughed for hours (actually years because "James Potter was so happy Lily asked him out that he forgot to reply" was just a story too good not to tell everyone)

[flowwriter]

The Oracle of ∇φ

The party headed down a long winding path, already exhausted from the days conquests, and still heavy with the knowledge that they must carry on. The path to the old Soothsayer was so well obscured that one could be obscured for missing it completely, and yet once the dense, lush fern was trodden down a small, yet clearly well-worn path emerged in front of them.

The party had been walking for well over an hour when Farnus, the token human of the group, slouched his aching shoulders and bemoaned “This guy better be fucking legit or I swear to God..’ before tailing off entirely.

The halfling cleric accompanying them, named Zensys, was quick to pull Farnus even closer to the brink of hopelessness ‘Or what Farnus? You’ll miss all your axe swings like you did back in Drittensmith? Don’t think we’ve forgotten.’

Farnus, for the second time in as many minutes, silently enjoyed a vision of himself after he had finished this job. Alone, no-one to bother him, no crazy old voodoo prophets to deal with, no halfling brat to make him question his alignment, pure and utter serenity. This bubble was, unsurprisingly, burst, by Koralath, the Goliath, who after careful consideration selected about one of 10 phrases that he knew in Common to express dissatisfaction. A hearty “This. Sucks. No. Point” bellowed forth from his mighty lungs, each word punctuated by a loud stomp. Before either party member could complain of their subsequent splitting headache, the stillness of the summer air was cut with a loud shriek:

“FUCK!”

The party immediately lost their calm composure and assumed a battle stance. Koralath even managed to process that this wasn’t a time for loud oafishness, progress that Farnus quietly appreciated, as the last time stealthiness was required, Koralath had cost the party quite a lot of HP by loudly asking nobody in particular where the nearest tavern was.

Even more surprisingly, a young tired-looking elf immerged, from seemingly (even to Zensys’ trained eyes) nowhere at all. He was dark-skinned, long-eared and fairly lanky, carrying himself as if he was unfamiliar with his build. His tired, yet sharp and analytical eyes, panned across the general area that the party occupied through his long unkempt hair, which covered an unreasonable portion of his face.

Apparently oblivious to his almost certain demise at one of the most respected parties in all of the North, he suddenly acknowledged the heroes with a start, only to stare at them indignantly, before somehow confidently complaining:

“You’re about 14 seconds late! You –“ He pointed an accusatory finger at Zensys “had the audacity to chat up that barmaid for a few extra seconds this morning didn’t you? She is gay, incidentally, although she doesn’t realise that for three more hours, so it was all wasted anyway.”

This outburst had a markedly different effect on each of the heroes. Koralath’s brain simply chose to reject the information entirely, instead delighting itself with a fantasy of the small elf’s imminent slaughter. Farnus’ brain, if it could have, would have rolled its eyes and done a little finger gun motion towards its head. However, it soon settled back into its familiar groove of assessing the new enemies’ weak spots.

Zensys brain, understand every word perfectly, and was almost convinced its body to run back and confess its undying love to the aforementioned barmaid. It reasoned that it was better than wasting her time galivanting with her companions, one of which was almost bound to double-cross her, as this was the way things generally worked.

Without any regard for the internal journeys each party member was taking, the curious elf continued. “Look, I appreciate the mental taxation that took on you, but if we take more than about a minute and a half here I can’t reasonably apply the Central Limit Theorem anymore and if that happens I think I’m gonna scream’

This was the final straw for both Farnus and Koralath, who simueltaneously drew their weapons, falling back on their most basic warrior instincts. The young elf began to leisurely flip through a small, tattered notebook retrieved from a concealed pocket. Koralath’s brain, having first began what can only be described as a blue screen, swang wildly at the elf’s head.

Unfazed, the elf stayed stationary. Koralath’s swing, almost in spite, careened a wild path through the air before cratering a mere two inches from the elfs side. Apparently, untroubled, the elf continued:

“NO, sorry, you were twe- ELEVEN seconds late. You don’t add a constant when integrating I through that first order differentiation product rule trick do you? Im ever so sorry. Would you like to come in? NO” He hastily scribbled through several lines of illegible symbols on the notebook. “TEN and a half MAX. And also it…” Another scribbling “doesn’t matter whether you want to or not, you WILL follow me in about three or four seconds regardless”.

The party, all now suffering terrible headaches, did indeed follow suit. Single file, they mopily trundled through the dense underbrush towards a hut which, although commonsense told them it was purposely built, seemed almost accidentally put together.

The confusing elf had left the door open behind him, and the party followed suit.

What they saw before them almost turned their stomachs. Hundreds of pages of scrawled writing coated each wall. A large, dark, once proud desk lay sunken into the ground. Piles of textbooks surrounded its border, and the party’s only clue to the huts inhabitants was a sliver of brown hair peaking over the top of them all.

Indeed, the elvish oracle was sat in a ornate, yet tattered armchair in almost the direct centre of the room. Although none of the party would here, he muttered ‘Told you’ under his breath before rising.

“MATHEMATICS!” He exclaimed. None of the party had an idea what he meant. Koralath added ‘kill goblin named ‘mathematics’??” to his mental to-do list.

The elf, wide eyed and clearly finished waiting for any intellectual input from the bewildered adventurers, continued.

“You see, all these oracles and soothsayers trying to predict the future with runes and smoke and ritualistic sacrifices –“ Farnus’ perked up, ritualistic sacrifices was his weekend hobby, “all rot! Its nothing more than taking an integral over all space and then all – sorry DOUBLE integral – and then all time. Because you know d-t and d-S is just a function of...yeah… And then, that’s an axiom! Well, its, I mean not really but I’m the only one doing – yeah, doing this. So its an axiom, anyway yeah this horrible function comes out, but its like, that’s why I can’t, and No-one can predict exactly. In fact, we, well I only found analytical solutions like a few weeks ago, but, even then its not elementary and-‘.

Beyond this point, no living being, apart from the elf himself, registered the specifics of his diatribe, and as such the rest was lost to history.  Zensys was the first to awake from the spell of the elves’ rhythmically pulsing speech, and found her emotions turn to anger.

“Look, you incel little bitch, can you help us out or not-“

The elf, taking Zensys’ words very slightly to late to feign that he was at all paying attention to anyone but himself, again perked up.

“Oh yes, of course, just let me uh…’ and so he took away to the grand battered arm chair, made a wide sweep with his arm to remove what almost seemed like important documents from his table, and began frantically scratching a weather quill across a piece of hard flaky parchment.

If the adventurers had hoped that this moment would hold them in great and suspenseful intimidation, they would have been disappointed. Not for the lack of expertise by the elf, but by his constant muttering and exclaiming, as well as his seemingly incessant need for someone to tell him how smart he was, as evidenced by his constant glancing to the three heroes for even the slightest validation.

About 10 scrawled, illegible pages of random symbols (3 of which had been crumpled up and thrown to the floor in anger), the soothsayer began to grunt ever so more excitedly, until at a sudden burst he sprang forth from his well defined groove in his ancient seat.

“OK, so whom now the rolling dunes may cover, he shall be your saviour and ours forevermore, well for an arbitrarily long period of time, I just took the limit from an arbitrary direction. And those who were quelled under something which calls itself the ‘Lost Great One’” He took just a moment to assess the relative not-greatness of his visitors. “Yeah, good luck with that one guys, will rise at least a whole multiple of twice more before the end of days. Oh but OH! You will succeed, yeah the second derivative is positive, so you will reach a global maximum here.” He seemed, unsurprisingly to at least Farnus, amazed at his own derivation. He added an extra layer of insufferability by adding “Gotta say guys, it usually doesn’t work out this well, and I do this all the time.”

Farnus, having counted to 10 at least 3 times since the start of the second painful diatribe spoken by the elf who was looking easier and easier to kill by the second, quickly interjected “yes, yes, wonderful thankyou so much, oh brainy one. We’ll be on our way now”

The elf, seemingly impervious to registering the feelings of others, mentioned to the backs of the party members “Oh don’t forget to drop by again soon!”

But as soon as the rickety door closed behind the large frame of Koralath, he realised that a simple derivation would prove that they wouldn’t. Which was a shame, he soon realised, as not even a second after his heel had turned to begin a well deserved afternoon nap in the comfortable armchair, he realised that “Oh shit, the second derivative is positive which means it’s a global minimum, so well they’re doomed to, oh” – all of which was muttered out loud too. It was, he consoled himself with, going to be an interesting adventure.

[spacemomalex]

So... Sera being unpopular is sexist, but you admitted you don't like her either... so are you calling yourself a sexist then?

Alrighty I hope you’re sitting down because boy howdy do I have a rant for you!

Why I dislike Sera as a person, not a character

As a writer (like many on here) I have an interesting relationship when it comes to my feelings for a story, it’s characters, and my own morality. That means, I am perfectly capable of being incredibly approving of, fascinated by, or even adore a character who’s morality is very different from my own.

This is very true for Sera. As a character, Sera is a complex thought provoking creature. 

As an elf, one would expect her to have an understanding of why racism against elves is such a terrible thing, but she doesn’t. Instead of caring about elves and the struggles they face, she ignores and dismisses them as simply being “too elfy”. Which is a throw back to the people in our world today who are the ones effected by racism, but deny that it exists for “points” with their oppressors/to avoid being oppressed/don’t want to admit how oppression affects them.

She of course brings to our attention racial stereotypes, (her conversation about how most elves can’t actually shoot a bow), but again doesn’t seem to realize that those stereotypes can be harmful to other elves. (Say, an elf who can’t shoot worth a damn is brought along and given a bow and told to fight. Despite their protests that they can’t shoot one, they are dismissed and as a result people get hurt and killed and the elf is blamed for not helping. Even though they made it clear that they could not shoot, the fact that the stereotype was so reinforced in everyone else’s mind, they ignored that fact and it would be their fault people were hurt. Not the fault of the elf who couldn’t shoot in the first place and tried to prevent this from happening.) 

This applies to when talking about the Dalish. Sera constantly refuses to understand them or their ways, or why city elves try to follow the old customs. Writing them off as simply ‘old’ and therefore not worth her time to learn or apply to her own life. She simply refuses to see how human oppression of elves truly affects elves and firmly believes that the only problem is the nobility and pride.

Even when supplied with firm proof that the elves have every reason to be “elfy”- as shown with the scroll about Red Crossing and the temple of mythal- she is steadfast in her denial of elven culture.

This makes her fascinating. It makes her a commentary that we should look into and ponder over our own actions and thought processes regarding race and oppression. I love her as a character because we get to see this young girl, hurt by a parental figure be allowed to grow into a young woman who still feels the affects of that. We get to see this young woman who is not shamed for her past and allowed to make mistakes because of it.

As a person though? Sera is a willfully ignorant prideful little shit who doesn’t want to admit that things are more complex than what she wants to believe. Why? Because she doesn’t want to admit she was ever wrong. I can understand why she feels this way, having been raised by an abusive human, but I was also raised by abusive racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic assholes and I will always fight for the rights of the oppressed groups these things hurt. Because I know better about how my privileges and the parts of me people are trying to oppress. Sera never learns how to be a better person and understand her own race better.

This mindset is one in the world today that we are all watching destroy our freedoms. I dislike Sera as a person because she is the exact kind of close-minded person that allows racism and other oppression to roam free, and at times even contribute to it, that I try to fight against. 

Why Sera is Horrible LGBTA+ Representation

As I said on the confessions, Sera should not be considered good representation of a lesbian relationship. Why? Because she’s childish and manipulative and close minded.

That really should be enough, but let me go into explicit detail.

On the childishness of Sera, let’s talk about her prank pulling. I will say this, her prank pulling and hatred of the extreme magical bullshit going on was refreshing. It was so nice to see a character who was just an every day person getting caught up in things far beyond the natural world. Even more nice to see a gut busting girl who didn’t care what others thought of her and was solely herself and enjoyed bringing stuffy folk down to a more human level. The problem with this however? It plays into her utter denial of the elven gods and culture and to things outside of the “norm”- such as Cole. It plays into her prank pulling actually being cruel at times because of her lack of awareness for the suffering of others.

When she spoke to Cole, she referred to him as a ‘thing’. She never considered the possibility that someone so different from herself deserves recognition as a person- and that’s a shitty fucking thing to do. Cole may not have started out human, but he tried so hard to be kind and to help others, she, as somebody who was not normal herself and had faced dehumanizing treatment, should have known better. After Cole had proven time and time again that he did not deserve the awful treatment, she never changed from that hateful dismissing stance about him. (not that I saw anyway) 

(Note; I also realize that Vivienne and Blackwall were not the nicest to Cole either, but I could write a ten page book on why Vivienne is a boss anyway because, at least, she avoided Cole and had some fucking class. Blackwall I just despise in general and I will always hate that creep)

When she pulled her pranks, she never considered the potential harm they could do. For example, making Cullen’s desk wobble? Amusing, definitely, had Cullen been a normal man. But Cullen is a recovering drug addict and a survivor of some rather extreme trauma, it’s obvious he suffers from severe PTSD. I’m positive that any “controlling” behavior he had towards his own personal desk space did stem from a need to control his surroundings after the terrible events he suffered. Her making the desk wobble could potentially cause a minor break for Cullen if it was a bad day for him. But she doesn’t take that into consideration, she only blows off Cullen as “too uptight” without seeming to understand. Like, there’s plenty of pranks you can pull on somebody that won’t have a negative effect on them. And what about the water bucket on Josie? Granted meeting with nobles is boring and annoying, but the Inquisition NEEDED their support. The Inquisition needed important allies so that they wouldn’t be attacked or turned against. She could have turned away potential allies just because she wanted to humiliate Josie. And Josie didn’t even deserve that! Josie (and Cullen!) worked so hard to keep the Inquisition from going under so that they could save the world. I didn’t see Sera consider these consequences and that bothers me to no end. Pranks are fun, but there is a time and place for the, and a way to do them. Sera didn’t do any of that. (She also put lizards in Solas bedroll- what if one bit him and it was poisonous? Would she have cared?)

And! She doesn’t take her relationship with the Inquisitor seriously at all at first! She writes off the Inquisitor’s interest and says she only wants fun. Somebody who’s only looking for a fling and basically says they do not want to have a relationship with you is not somebody who is ready for a relationship. Especially since later she basically tells the Inquisitor that they do have a relationship and that the Inquisitor can either choose to keep Sera by saying her entire culture is a lie, or lose Sera. What a terrible thing to ask somebody to do. 

If someone who was barely a christian demanded that I give up my gods just because they didn’t believe in them, I would tell them to take a fucking hike off a cliff. A god you don’t even really believe is not more important than the gods I have devoted myself to. What you want and you believe should not matter more than what I want and believe. If you cannot respect my beliefs, then I have no respect for you and you clearly do not love me enough if you cannot respect my love for them. And, if you ask me to give up my gods for you, then what else will you ask of me? What else will I have to lose to satisfy you? This is the logic I apply to any and all relationships.

Again, while this makes for an interesting story and dynamic between the inquisitor and Sera- what does love mean between the two of them. In my rather hefty experience in the dating world, it sets up a platform for abuse and manipulation.

So let’s review; Sera doesn’t consider the consequences of her actions in relation to the thoughts, feelings, and needs of those she says she loves. Is that somebody we really want representing lesbians? As a (genderfluid/demi) girl who wants a relationship with a woman, Sera is not someone I want people to look at and think ‘oh, so that’s what women who like women are like’.

Especially when compared to literally ANY of the other women available for a lesbian romance. Or are they simple not up for considering because they’re bi in many cases? Are bi women who love women somehow less important to you? Think on that before you consider Sera as a good representation of a gay relationship please and thank you.

Character Critique VS Sexism

And now onto the main point you are so backwardly trying to be clever about.

When it comes right down to it, you can dislike a female character without it being sexist. For example, I dislike Sera, as a person, because, again, I find her childish, arrogant, and borderline abusive.

The reason such characters like Sera are generally unpopular does have a lot to do with sexism I will not deny that. And it has to do with having so few genuinely interesting female characters, that many will take whatever they can get. But not enough of them will. Many are still stuck in how wonderful and amazing the male characters are, that many females characters fall to the wayside. Sera is no exception. Because she is not an attractive male that they can ship with another attractive male, Sera is simply not going to have as many supporters as say, Dorian (whom I have an entire rant on why he’s good gay representation, but also cliched). That means they are going to be more critical of her flaws and failings, without taking into account why she is such a good character because sexism in the offline reality is so critical of women in the first place.

Sweeping statements of Sera being annoying “like all women” or writing her off as only childish without understanding her own problems with accepting herself because of her foster mother’s abuse, is sexist. I am capable of feeling sorry for Sera and wanting the best for her, while also understanding that she is not the only representation of all lesbians. Not everyone is capable of doing that yet. People, especially men, brain washed women, and younger folk, simply do not have the tools at their disposal (nor want them) to understand that Sera is simply one kind of woman and should be thought about more deeply.

And that doesn’t take into account how Sera is not a dynamic character. She just barely changes throughout the story line. She (along with others, and I have some major words to share with Bioware about the lack of character growth in their stories) remains the same childish, mildly manipulative, arrogant, brain washed racist and does learn any lessons from her time with the Inquisition. Her character, and her story line, I chalk up to male writers just, being honestly not very good writing female characters in general. She could have been an amazing character, a really amazing person, but all in all I feel she just falls flat on the things that truly matter to me as a person.

I could go on, but I would be repeating myself on this particular section.

So, TLDR; Your reach is not clever. If you had bothered to actually read my post you would have seen that I brought up legitimate points of criticism of Sera’s character- such as her deep set racism born of self loathing and brain washing, her manipulative and childish behavior and her lack of change through the story line. I’m not impressed by your salty attempt to make me look bad because you don’t like what I had to say about Sera.