It has come to my attention that SOME OF YOU who read my last Byler post remain UNCONVINCED. So I'm gonna tack onto it this:
I'm older than fucking God and air, and I've been out and proud since 2007. Yes, I know what homophobia is, and yes, I know what queerbaiting is. I know about Supernatural and Teen Wolf and Sherlock and blahdyblahdyblah. No new ground is being covered here. I thought I made that clear in the original post, but, clearly, I did not.
I am aware of queerbaiting and homophobia, and I'm still wholeheartedly certain in Byler being canon anyway.
Okay, so there are three types of relationship I want to discuss when it comes to queerbaiting. They're all, like, "queer relationships that could have happened, but didn't".
First off, queer-coding. This isn't really a thing so much anymore, but it still crops up every once in a while. I'd argue it probably happens most with male-male relationships in family shows these days. First example that comes to mind is Mr. Smiley and Mr. Frowny from Steven Universe. You can't make a relationship canon because some shitty overhead bastard overhead said no, so you get as close as you can without compromising the show. Can't make someone gay? Well, now their comedy routine is a blatant allegory for a romantic relationship. Boom-shaka-laka. This is something I don't see being a problem with regards to Stranger Things, but I want it to be there as contrast, a demonstration of one of many things queerbaiting is not. However, one could argue that, thus far, Will Byers is, canonically, queer-coded. It's pretty fucking heavily implied in the show, and the creators have confirmed it, and you're gonna be able to see it if you're not FUCKING BLIND, but word of god is not technically canon which means that interviews don't technically make something canon, blahdyblahdyblahdyblah, technicalities, Robin has been explicitly stated in the text to be queer while Will has, thus far, not, outside of good ol' Show-Don't-Tell. Of course, anyone with two brain cells to rub together can tell that that's going to change by the end of Season 5, but, hey, for what it's worth, I'm throwing this out there.
Alrighty, Thingamajingama Number Two: "Oops, I accidentally made the greatest love story known to man." AKA, a genuine, honest-to-goodness mistake. Unfortunately, we do live in a heteronormative society. Sometimes people who don't think about being gay much write a friendship that's incredibly compelling and don't even consider the possibility that it could have been read as romantic. Something something Top Gun something. This is, again, not queerbaiting. This is Steddie, this is Ronance, this is Elmax, this is your favorite flavor of non-canon ship this week, this is not Byler. The creators know DAMN well what they're doing. They've talked about it. We know this. Nothing new here.
Which brings us to the topic of discussion here. Actual queerbaiting. This usually starts out as an "accidental greatest love story", and then reacts to fan response. And when I say "reacts", I mean like a goddamn chemical reaction. Like bleach and ammonia, bitch. It's noxious and it's gonna kick your fucking ass without mercy. This is when a creator is like, "Hey, let's get our queer audience invested, but we're not actually going to give them what they want because our straight audience isn't here for that/we personally think it's gross/we don't give enough of a shit to want to research a goddamn thing to write a real gay character," blah blah blah whatever excuse they want to come up with this time.
And when you think "queerbaiting", I want you to think "bullying". Because that's what it is. It's lucrative bullying, like beating us up and taking our lunch money, but it's bullying all the same. And it's a real goddamn thing, even if people misuse the word a lot, often when they mean one of the two above, sometimes when they mean "bury your gays", which is another homophobic thing entirely that I'm not going to get into here. Queerbaiting is the thing we're focused on, and it's real, and it's bullying. And here's the reason I want you to think of it as bullying:
They
Think
It's
Funny.
They are actively making fun of us.
That's why Dean had the "Cas, get out of my ass," line in Supernatural. It's why the "Do you like boys?" line happened in Teen Wolf. It's why "Lie with me, Watson," happened in the RDJ Sherlock Holmes movies. Because "It's just a joke, mate." "It was just a prank, bro." "You didn't really think it would happen, did you?" "You should see your face."
So here's probably the biggest reason I don't think it's specifically queerbaiting in this specific instance of Will Byers and Mike Wheeler.
Stranger Things has never, not once, made a gay joke. Ever.
Every single time queerness comes up, it's dead serious.
Lonnie calls Will a fag, and the show is not at all reluctant to show what a goddamn horrible person he is. And when Hopper latches onto that, it's not as "Hahah, is he gay, though?" It's because he's trying to determine a potential motive for Will's disappearance, and even if someone had interpreted it as a joke, Joyce immediately has a line that functions as snapping her fingers in front of the audience's face and yelling "FOCUS" when she says "He's MISSING." Basically outright saying "This isn't funny!"
Troy calls him a fairy, along with targeting Lucas and Dustin for their skin color and disability respectively, and Mike gets damn near murderous. Troy is portrayed as a goddamn monster and the show portrays it as justice when El makes him piss his pants and later breaks his arm.
Steve calls Jonathan "queer" as a slur and gets the shit beat out of him for it.
Billy's father is revealed to be homophobic and abusive in the same breath.
Mike says "It's not my fault you don't like girls!" and we're shown how devastated Will is and Mike immediately follows him to beg for forgiveness.
There is a joke in Robin's coming-out scene, but it's not at Robin's expense. It's at Steve's. Specifically for being heteronormative.
Jonathan has multiple scenes where he's trying so hard to tell Will that he's always going to love him as he is, whether he's gay or not, without pressuring him to come out before he's ready.
Even when there's a little bit of ribbing at Robin's expense, it's always because she's an awkward nerd who's nervous around pretty girls, just the same as Lucas and Dustin are teased when they both first develop crushes on Max, and even then, even then, it always comes as a package deal where they make fun of Steve's girl problems at the same time.
Stranger Things is an emphatically pro-gay show. It may not be the core point of the show the way it is in, say, Our Flag Means Death, but there is nothing less than respect for its queer characters. Its queer characters are always taken completely seriously. No one is making fun of us. They never have. That's why I have serious doubts that this is queerbaiting. It would come completely out of left field for the bullying to start in Stranger Things' final season.
So it's not at all likely to be queerbaiting because queerness is taken completely seriously. The creators have talked about Will's queerness, at least, so it's not an accident. And queer-coding would be silly to expect from this show when it's already on its final season. Like, what is Netflix gonna do? Cancel it? Not to mention all the explicit queerness that's in there already. And no one's gonna "What about the children?" a show that's had sex scenes in it since the first season.
There's no fakeout here. It's gonna happen. Breathe.
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EDIT: New suggestions still welcome, but skim the current replies first to make sure you're not saying what twenty others have already said. Let's just say NO MORE JAPANESE NAMES to be safe (most of the repeats are Japanese); I'm still interested in other culture's tasty snack names
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Guys, it's an emergency guys
I have lost my notes on names for Zuko's feral mantis-shrimp badger that he pulls from the trash behind his Uncle's teashop and makes into a (hissing, snarling, Nephew Please Put That Down--) pet guys
Please reply to this post with very cute food-themed names, particularly food that is small, sweet, and generally served as a tea cake. NOT tea names, Zuko hates tea. Tea snack names.
Her working name has been Madeleine but I'd prefer something more Asian, because I don't want a subplot explaining how Iroh acquires madeleines in the AtlA world. This should be something served at his shop, or available readily in town, so Zuko can impulse-name his new Snarly McBadIdea Pet. Also I cannot for the life of me spell Madeleine without a google search, so there's that.
If I end up using your name, you'll get credited in the upcoming story.
Also wanted: names for Toph's delicate seeing-eye shrimp-badger, who is a well breed and hard-working lady and therefore deserves a ludacris beefy Earth-Rumble-type name
So that when the Gaang shows up and meets Feral Trash Badger and Little Lady Badger
And hears their names
They absolutely guess wrong on which is which
And Sokka gets an Offended Badger to the face
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shoes in FMA rated on how comfortable they'd be to fight in
Edward Elric
considering Ed's uhhh very distinct taste in aesthetics, these could be a lot worse. they look relatively comfortable and don't seem like they'd be difficult to move around in. they are platforms though, which I imagine makes things more difficult. I'll be generous and give these a 7/10
Most of the Amestrian military
pretty much everyone in uniform wears the same shoes, so I'm lumping them all together. these are Roy's, if that matters. they look fine. I imagine that because it is part of a military uniform, it's designed to be moved around in and worn for hours on end, so ideally they're relatively comfortable. it doesn't look like there's much traction, but they're usually fighting on flat surfaces so whatever. 8/10
Fu and Lan Fan
these shoes fucking rule. the picture I've included is Lan Fan's, but they wear p much the same shoes. I fucking love these things. they have spikes. Edward Elric fucking wishes. considering this seems to be part of the bodyguard uniform, I'd imagine they're as easy to run around in as the military shoes, if not better since they're expected to be doing martial arts in them. but most importantly, they have spikes. 10/10, no notes.
Ling and Mei
on the topic of doing martial arts, both Ling and Mei wear these.... I'm not sure what they are. flats? slippers? it's unclear. (EDIT: they are apparently Kung Fu shoes!) they seem relatively easy to move around in I guess since they're not very cumbersome and both Ling and Mei rely on being very nimble. they look like they have absolutely no support in the soles though, which is gonna get painful after a certain point. also depending on what fabric they're made of, they could definitely start chafing. I've worn flats. I know that hell. 7/10 for the potential blisters, but at least they're designed specifically for martial arts
Greedling and Bradley
it's hard to get a good shot in this scene because neither of them stop moving, but I swear to god, they're fighting in dress shoes. I cannot stand them. this CANNOT be comfortable. I know Greed prioritizes aesthetics over function so this was probably a compromise between his and Ling's tastes but ohhh my god. he was probably wasting so much of the philosopher's stone just passively healing the million blisters on his feet from running around in these things. there's a chance Bradley is wearing the military uniform shoes but I think he was in more formal dress when he got blown the fuck up, so I don't think so. no wonder he complains about being sore, quit running around in dress shoes you fucking moron. 4/10.
Greed
THESE FUCKING THIIIIIIIINGS. WHY ARE THEY POINTY AT THE END. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SOMEONE HIT HIS FOOT WITH A MALLET AND FLATTENED THEM. he's so dumb. I love him. looking at these things tells me he would probably wear goth cowboy boots if he could, and tbh that would probably look better. 3/10 for Greed's overall silly as hell fashion sense
Lust
okay. the heels make sense considering her whole vibe. however. these are part of her fucking BODY. when she gets incinerated, they grow back. can she even take them off???? I'm scared to ask. I guess if theyre part of her body, she doesn't have to worry about adjusting to balancing in them like you would normally with heels, but oh my god. she can never wear normal shoes. I would also be murderous if I had to wear heels all the time. 4/10.
Father and Izumi
guys. these are sandals. it has been four hundred years and Father is still wearing the same outfit he was wearing in the damn desert. find a new outfit man. Izumi is apparently wearing bathroom slippers (hence the WC) so idk why she's even wearing those out of the house. Father gets 0/10 and Izumi gets 1/10 because she still manages to kick everyone's asses while wearing these, so respect
Envy
PUT YOUR FUCKING TOES AWAY. -10000000/10
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April Fool Interaction
"..."
"… Sir, who are you?" Minhyeok tensely stared at the tall hunk with white hair standing in his room. The guy had two small horns that contrasted clearly with his short white hair, streaked with red, indicating that he was a devil. He wasn't wearing a shirt, exposing his upper half proudly adorned with minor scars and cuts, while his stomach was covered in a bandage. Clad in black attire and white boots with red patterns and belts reminded Minhyeok of the motorcycle gang fashion from Japan in the mid-1900s.
"His eyes are unnerving," they were eye-catching for sure, with black sclera and red irises featuring a cross in the middle of his black pupil, along with unrealistically long red lashes. Unless the other man was a really dedicated cosplayer.
A low chuckle from the devil got his attention back to the possibly dangerous matter at hand. Minhyeok's eyes quickly scanned his room for his baseball bat in case he needed to run or jump out of the nearest window. However, the good-looking home invader's youthful voice gave him a double take.
"Minhyeok! How can you not recognize your best friend Ppyong?!" the devil asked in an arrogant tone, yet still with a childish feel to his speech that was mortifyingly similar to a small red devil he used to talk to.
"… What?"
He wasn't sure if he was sober for this. He was quite sure he hadn't drunk any soju or alcoholic beverage last night when he was out with his friends at university.
"What's with the shocked face? Shouldn't you know it's me from a mile away?!" The handsome devil turned fully to him, his face marked with a boyish pout and a frown, his muscular arms crossed in front of his strong chest.
"… Nope" He wasn't willing to acknowledge this. The imagery between the small perverted red devil from before and this impressive-looking guy was too jarring to even think about.
He was about to close the door to his apartment and maybe take a walk somewhere else before his right arm was seized and dragged inside, with the door closed behind him. His back slammed into the door with a thud, the rugged bandaged arm slamming above his head. The looming presence made him look up to the devil who was currently kabedon-ing him.
"Hey, why are you running away?" Ppyong asked in a lower voice, his red brows now frowning seriously as he looked down upon Minhyeok. Normally, he would be more flustered by this kind of act from more assertive people who had tried to flirt with him before, but the flooding memories of the devil small enough to sit on his shoulder and the restroom incident from last time where the very same red lump kept harassing him for his semen, made this experience more perplexing than ever.
When he didn't answer, Ppyong only lowered his head, closing the distance between them. Minhyeok could scent the lemon caramel from his breath just by the gap alone. Minhyeok turned his head away with a blush, his heart beating uncomfortably loud in his chest.
"Miinnhhyyeeokk~" the devil said his name with a draw. Minhyeok shrunk a bit further, contemplating whether or not it was worth it to kick this fine man away from him.
"Hey! Minhyeok, why are you ignoring this great Ppyong? Did I do something wrong?" When Minhyeok tried to slither away, the white-haired devil only stopped his track with another muscular hand to his left side and a strong knee effectively blocking his other escape path, closing the space between them even further.
"This is bad…" He could feel the heat covering his entire face down to his neck, his palms pathetically sweaty and his grip on his backpack hardened.
He wasn't even hearing the barrage of questions the devil was throwing at him. "Do devils not have the concept of boundaries down there?!" He really wanted to smack away the toned chest and collarbones on his eye level and go outside to cool down from... whatever was happening right now.
That was until he heard a wet sniffle from Ppyong. When he looked up at the devil, tears had already pooled out from his pretty sharp eyes, and snot from his nose. His toned hands were now grabbing Minhyeok's shoulder.
"Minhyeok, you are not dying, are you?! I heard somewhere that humans become more quiet and avoidant when they near death!" The handsome guy opposite him was now yelling, his body trembling with tears and sadness.
"… Excuse me?"
"So you are dying?! NO! You can't die! If you do, who will give Miss Raon human energy?! And who will give me Fererere from now on?! You can't die now!" The devil was now hugging him tightly, and Minhyeok could feel the wetness of tears and disgusting snot on his shoulder and face. For some reason, it reminded him of Raon.
Thinking back to her calmed him down despite the sheer ridiculousness of the situation right now. He should calm Ppyong down first, then get the food, laundry, and his… fluid ready, and maybe chat for a bit before sending the guy back to Hell.
"Ppyong, calm down-"
"That's it! Humans have hospitals, right? Let's get you there before you suddenly drop dead!" Before Minhyeok could register what was happening, he was easily picked up in a princess carry.
"Huh? Wait, Ppyong!-"
With a swift and determined stride and Minhyeok secure in his arms, Ppyong leaped over the apartment railing, his powerful legs propelling him from rooftop to rooftop, his steps unexpectedly light.
As Minhyeok clung to Ppyong's shoulder for dear life, the rush of wind whipped past them, tousling his hair and sending a thrill coursing through his veins. It was as if they were slicing through the night air with effortless grace, defying gravity itself. The sensation was exhilarating, yet tinged with a hint of fear as they soared from one rooftop to the next.
The wind howled in his ears, bearing the faint tang of ozone and the muted roar of distant traffic. Buildings dissolved into a kaleidoscopic blur as they soared through the nocturnal sky. With each leap, Minhyeok's heart pounded in his chest, his breath catching in his throat as he struggled to keep pace with Ppyong's determined strides.
Amidst the chaos of their rooftop escapade, Ppyong's expression was one of grim determination, his features set in a steely resolve as he focused on their journey. There was no laughter or the loud voice of pride now, only the sound of footsteps echoing against the concrete as Ppyong raced against time to reach their destination. The weight of Ppyong's urgency hung heavy in the air, a stark reminder of the 'seriousness' of the situation, which, unfortunately, was a misunderstanding.
Minhyeok's mind raced, a mixture of terror and awe, as he witnessed Ppyong's extraordinary strength and agility. He desperately tried to talk some sense into Ppyong, pleading with him to reconsider their reckless journey. But Ppyong's determination was stubborn as a mule, his focus solely on reaching the hospital in time to save Minhyeok's life from whatever unknown illness he thought the human in his arms had in his mind.
Not having it anymore, Minhyeok shouted, "You stupid idiot! Do you even know where the hospital is?!" The dumb white hair devil even had the gall to look at him in annoyance when he shouted back.
"Of course, this great devil knows! Don't worry, Minhyeok, your best friend will have your life saved no matter what!" That would have sounded genuinely comforting if it was in a different context, but it was another story when Minhyeok was perfectly healthy and the devil was going nowhere near any of the hospitals in the city. He even passed several of them during his wild parkour maneuvering through the urban night.
The irony made Minhyeok question whether to laugh or cry at this point. So he shouted the money-winning question to the himbo carrying him, "Then where is it?!"
"It-…! Where… where are we now?" Now the devil stopped on the roof of a market somewhere in Gangnam-gu and looked around with a worried face. It was a feat beyond human capabilities, really, to be able to run and jump from roof to roof without breaking a sweat, several kilometers away from Minhyeok's apartment, and yet here they were, lost.
Minhyeok massaged his head heavily to ease his headache. Moments like these made him wonder if this was one of the things Raon had to deal with in Hell. If so, then he had to give it to her. He only met one devil, and in less than a day, he already felt drained.
His tired groaning must have affected the devil since he felt a flinch when he looked up. Ppyong's face was marred with guilt and tears, which were about to flow out of his pretty eyes again. It felt like he was looking at a sad puppy rather than a powerful devil. He guessed Ppyong was no different no matter the form he took on.
With habit's ease, he let his hand gently pat the soft white hair to calm the cute guy down. It unexpectedly worked, since Ppyong seemed to melt into his touch with each passing second.
"I'm not dying. I'm just shocked at how different you look, that's all. I'm sorry for not being upfront" Ppyong seemed like he was about to protest, but Minhyeok pressed on.
"Thank you for worrying about my health, but please make sure to ask first before you jump to a conclusion like this" The sad puppy look came back again, and Ppyong mumbled an apology in his youthful voice.
"Sorry, I was too excited and wanted to show you this form, but I was scared that you were hurt somewhere… Things have been rough lately in Gehenna… Will you forgive me?"
Minhyeok could only chuckle at the pleading sad eyes of the devil above him. He could see why Raon took a liking to devils like him. If they were honest like this, then no wonder.
"Can you get us down from here? I need to buy some groceries to make meals for you and Raon anyway. Once we are done, take me back to my apartment and wait for me to get the necessary things ready before you go"
Ppyong smiled brightly at him with an innocent gleam in his eyes, surprising Minhyeok when the devil hugged him tightly in his arms.
"Minhyeok! You're really a great guy, you know that?", he could feel the bulging muscle of the man from their close contact and it only embarrassed Minhyeok further.
"Yes, yes, okay. Now get us down and let me go afterward, okay? Also, button up your coat before we go in," he gave half-hearted slaps to Ppyong's chest, pulled himself away, and averted his eyes from the grinning devil.
"OK! Oh! And can you buy me some snacks too?"
"Sure, and tell me how Raon is doing while we're shopping."
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