#i seriously need to get my eyes checked ive let one too many tag go out there mistyped

[piningprecussionist]

Another day, another selection of Kim panels

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 19*

Chapter 18

Chapter 20

Whoooooo, finally getting close. Can ya feel it? I'm stoked because I just watched "My Soul To Take" and dude Raul as 'The Ripper'......ohhhhhhhhh the fic ideas. SO MANY.

Ya'll should watch it. He's only in it for ten minutes, but seriously it's the best acting in his career, hands down. I'm just sayin.

Also I know I have two requests, and I have a one shot idea I have for storiesofsvu bingo. But I gotta finish this first, I know! I have my priorities. Don't worry.

And I have a few days before it's back into the fire, so hopefully we get this done!

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

@thatesqcrush

@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

------

"Can you believe the nerve of that woman?" Rafael scoffed while looking at the door after you two had made out like teenagers for a bit.

You typed: “Well if I were an outsider, I'd think we were a little odd too,”

“Yeah but that doesn't excuse her trying to butt into our relationship.” He grumbled while stroking your hair.

“You’d think through all the crap that we had to-- that you had to go through, that people would see that our love was real or that we belong together or--,” He stopped ranting when he noticed the starry look in your eyes, eating up all the romantic spiel he was spouting about you two.

“Speaking of what you went through…” He took your hand. “We're going to have to talk about it,”

You typed “No, we're not,”

“Baby yes, we eventually have to do something about it,” He stroked your face.

You typed typed typed:

“No, we don't. They did the rape kit and I'm fine. Plus it's three states away and I have no idea who those guys were and there's no point in trying to pursue it. Just let it go baby,” It was your turn to stroke his face gently.

“No, I'm not going to let it go!” he cried angrily. “Those bastards need to pay for what they did to you!”

Type type type.

“I appreciate the sentiment but to be honest with you Rafael I've been through worse,”

“What…?”

Type type type:

“You realize I’ve been the crazy fuck up of my family all my life, you really think that was the first bad thing to ever happen to me?”

“You’re not a--”

You put a hand over his mouth and typed away:

“Yes, I am. It’s fine, I’m used to it,”

“Baby…”

Suddenly, your side felt like it was being stabbed by a thousand knives. You doubled over in pain, screaming silently.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” Rafael jumped off the bed and hit a Nurse Call button before running out the door to find a doctor.

“Doctor! Nurse! Anybody!” As he screamed, a team of nurses and a doctor came running into the room. They hooked you up to several IV’s full of pain killers and medicines while the doctor checked your pupils. More nurses bandaged you up while Rafael stood in the doorway crying.

After a few minutes they got you calmed down, and rebandaged. The doctor left you sleeping as he signaled Rafael to follow him outside.

“What happened?” He asked worriedly.

“Well it seems the liver she received is starting to fail, Mr. Barba,” The doctor explained.

“God dammit….Dammit!” He pounded the wall angrily before facing his back to it and throwing his hands over his face. This couldn’t be happening, he had just gotten you back. He couldn’t lose you again.

“So what...what does that mean, exactly?” He asked the doctor, his voice trembling.

“I’m afraid it means,” The doctor cleared his throat uncomfortably. “We can keep her comfortable, but unless she gets another liver within the next few days, she’s going to die,”

“God…” Rafael started to cry. “Can I-- Can I give her more of mine?”

“Mr. Barba,” The doctor gave him a look. “I don’t know what you must think, but livers aren’t an organ you can just keep slicing off chunks of like a Thanksgiving turkey. You need it to live,”

“But it regrows itself, right?”

“Not in the few weeks you’ve lost it!” He rolled his eyes. “Does she...have any other relatives that might help?”

“I don’t….I don’t know, I’ll have to ask--” As if on cue--

“Where is she?” Sonny’s voice came out of nowhere. Both men turned to see him storming through the hall towards your room.

“Ah, Mr. Carisi I assume?” The doctor asked.

“Where is Y/N? Where is my cousin?” He demanded.

“Carisi--” Rafael started to speak.

“NO,” Sonny snapped away from him. “You, don’t get to talk anymore. You hear me?”

“Mr. Carisi as I was telling Mr. Barba here---”

“Why are you telling him anything?” Sonny barked. “He’s not her family, I am,”

“I’m more family to her than you have been lately!” Rafael bellowed.

“You son of a--” Sonny went to hit Rafael but the doctor stepped in between them.

“Gentlemen!” He yelled. “None of this fighting is going to help Y/N,”

“Why does she need help?” Sonny suddenly stopped fighting to look at the doctor seriously.

“Like I said, as I was telling Mr. Barba,” He straightened himself up. “Y/N is rejecting the liver Mr. Barba donated,”

“Shit…” Sonny put his hands over his head.

“Do you have any other family members willing to donate?”

“No, because the rest of his family are holier than thou pieces of shit--” Rafael began to insult the Carisi clan.

“I’ll fucking kill you, Barba!” Sonny went for him again.

“They’re killing Y/N, Carisi!” Rafael screamed. “Your fucking family is letting the woman I love die because they can’t get over their own fucking judgement and grudges!”

“Alright look I will--” Sonny ran his fingers through his hair as he pulled out his phone. “I will call my mother, all right? I will call her and explain the situation,”

“Oh yeah I’m sure--”

“My mother is not heartless, Barba. Contrary to what you or Y/N might think,”

“Actually Carisi Y/N hasn’t told me one bad thing about your mother,”

“Yeah well--” Carisi chuckled. “Y/N never has a bad word to say about anyone, she’s surprisingly Sunny that way,”

“Not even me?” Rafael blinked. “After what you told her?”

“Are you kidding Barba?” Sonny laughed. “She has thought nothing but you being the end all be all of the universe, which...y’know, I totally get,” He looked down softly.

“Right,” Rafael nodded, remembering how all of this started.

“Look I am sure that I will find SOMEONE in our family that will help, okay? I won’t give up until I find one,”

“Okay,” Rafael nodded again, glancing in the window to your room where you were now sedated. He looked to the doctor: “May I go in and sit with her now?”

“Sure,” He nodded. “She might be out for a while though, maybe the rest of the night,”

“That’s alright,” He softly smiled as he looked at you through the glass. “She’ll know I’m there,”

He walked in and got in your hospital bed with you very softly, doing his best not to move any wires or tubes hooked up to you. He traced your sleeping face with his fingers, just watching you breathe in and out. He had missed you so much, he didn’t realize how much until he had seen you again. He didn’t think he would survive if he had to miss you every day for the rest of his life.

He gently wrapped one arm around you while pulling out his phone to google “organ donations’. You may have been asleep, but subconsciously you knew you were in his arms. You snuggled up against him, happily sighing in your sleep. He kissed your forehead and laid his head against yours, eventually falling asleep next to you.

---------------

The Next Morning

You were awakened by the sounds of what sounded like very passionate arguing happening outside of your room. You were worried it was Rafael and Sonny, until you realized Rafael was still safely sleeping next to you. You couldn’t help but smile at his slumbering body, his mouth curled up into a sleepy smile while he dreamed. But if he was here, then who was Sonny arguing with? You quietly moved yourself out of Rafael’s grasp and tiptoed to the door, rolling your IV machine with you.

“Ma, I get that she’s been a handful, but you can’t just let her-- yeah, I know,” You could hear Sonny on the phone right outside your door.

“Well I asked Bella, and she said--” He said softly, then paused as his mother spoke through the phone. “She said she would come down here, if you won’t,”

Bella? Sonny’s sister? You two had never really been close, but Sonny had mentioned that she married an alcoholic a few years back. Maybe being in love with a fuck up helped her empathize with her own flesh and blood.

“Because she’s a good person, Ma! You haven’t seen her since she was a kid, you haven’t bothered to even try and believe in her. She’s come so far, and yeah she might have screwed up these past few weeks, but it shouldn’t be a death sentence!”

Your eyes welled up as you heard Sonny defend you to his own mother, he loved her more than anyone. Maybe he loved you as much, or close to it. You felt guilty for putting him through so much grief lately, but he had given you no choice. Right? Maybe now that you were actually dying, he might not make you choose between him and Rafael.

“Ma, look I love you and I know you couldn’t save Aunt Alessia, but you can save Y/N,” He said softly. “...Just, think about coming here, okay? She doesn’t have a lot of time,” You saw him notice you looking through the window as he finished his sentence.

“I gotta go, Ma,” He quickly muttered, giving her a soft kiss over the phone before hanging up.

“Hey Sunshine,” He propped the door fully open, pulling you into a tight hug. You winced in pain, and he quickly dropped his embrace. “Shit, I’m so sorry,”

You shook your head and wrapped your arms back around him, assuring him it was fine.

“No it’s not,” He disagreed as he walked you back into your room, pushing your IV machine with you. “I shouldn’t have--- I should have listened to you,”

You walked back over to where your phone was charging on the table next to your bed. You picked it up and typed furiously, then handed it to him with a small smile. He took it and read:

“No, this isn’t your fault Son,” You put a hand on his shoulder while he read. "I was stupid, and impulsive, and selfish,”

“Well, as long as you know that,” He chuckled, ruffling your hair like he did when you were a kid. “I really am sorry though, I shouldn’t have gone so...supervillain on you like that,”

“Supervillain?” You raised an eyebrow as you typed and showed him.

“Rafael’s words,” He chuckled. “But he’s right. I was being a huge dick, being sneaky and underhanded like that,”

Type type type:

“Yeah I’d say more of a Soap Opera Antagonist more than a Supervillain,” You teased.

“Hey at least I didn’t swap your faces or somethin’!” He laughed.

Type type type

“...I’m pretty sure that’s a movie, not a soap,” You queried an eyebrow.

“It happens. Trust me, Ma watches ‘em ALL,” He informed you with a laugh.

Type type type.

“Speaking of your Ma…” You shifted uncomfortably as he read.

“You heard me on the phone, huh?” Sonny asked in an awkward voice. You nodded sadly.

“I’m sorry Sunshine--” You stopped him by putting a hand over his and typed: “It’s not like I expected anything from her,”

“But you should,” He laced his fingers with yours. “Family should always be there, no matter what,”

“You are,” You bumped his shoulder with your head.

“...I wasn’t for the last few days,” He looked at the floor.

Type.

“That’s just because I took off on you Sonny,” You made him look at you. “None of this is on you,”

“I guess…” He shrugged.

“And…” You gestured your head towards a still sleeping Rafael. “It’s not on Rafael either,”

“....Maybe not…” He muttered.

“Sonny come on,” You gave him a look while typing. “There’s no way he would have anticipated me being a Fatal Attraction mental case, stalking him across the country,”

“That’s not--”

Type type type.

“Come on, even I can admit it was pretty stalkerish,” You half smiled. while Sonny read out loud: “I’m just lucky he digs crazy,”

“Yeah I do,” You heard Rafael’s gravelly voice. You and Sonny turned to see him with half open eyes and a sleepy smirk. You walked over and sat back on the bed, flicking his temple lightly and putting your hand over his mouth as if to say "Shut up!"

“Never,” He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you backwards so you were lying next to him as his little spoon then covered you in small kisses around the side of your face and ear.

You silently squealed while wriggling in his arms, then typed "Ewww morning breath," 🤢

“Hello, Kettle,” He rolled his eyes, causing you to slap your hands over your mouth. Jesus, when was the last time you brushed? You couldn’t remember, so that wasn’t a great sign.

“I’m gonna leave--” Sonny muttered uncomfortably.

You got up and pulled him back towards the bed, making 'sorry' gestures.

Type type type.

“We’ll stop being gross,”

“Well I will, you might need a shower for that,” Rafael teased with an evil smile.

You stared at him, horrified before hitting him repeatedly in an angry fashion. How RUDE!!

“Baby, I love you, I really do. But you have basically been a homeless person for the last four days,” He was not subtle, he didn’t have a subtle bone in his body. You loved that about him, but right now it made you want to murder him. You pushed him out of your bed and towards Sonny, then pushed both of them towards the door.

"What is happening right now?" Sonny asked in confusion.

Type type type.

“The two of you, OUT,”

“What did I do?!” Sonny argued.

Type type type.

“Nothing, but I’m going to take a shower and brush my teeth and get this bad...week, off of me,” You shook your body in disgust.

“Wha-- and how do you expect to do that, hooked up to all that shit?” Sonny gestured to your body.

You groaned, looking at all the wires and tubes stuck to your body.

Type type.

“I’m going to have to ask a fucking nurse to sponge bathe me like an old person, aren’t I?”

“I’ll do it,” Rafael volunteered with a cheeky grin.

Type type type. You handed it to him with an evil smile.

“Oh uh uh, you’ve lost nakee privileges until further notice with that ‘homeless person’ line, counselor,”

“What?!” Rafael put a hand to his chest. “Oh come on carino, you know I didn’t mean it--” He went to wrap his arms around you but you pushed him back with a wagging finger.

“...You guys are friggin’ weird,” Sonny muttered, trying to find a nurse to help you shower. “Hey Miss Laverne!”

You stopped him while typing and showed him. “I will stay dirty rather than have Nurse Ratchet come near me again,”

“Nice to see you’re feeling better, Miss Y/N,” Laverne smirked.

“Aw come on Sunshine, Laverne’s a sweetheart,” Sonny gave her a warm smile while you and Rafael looked at each other with perplexed stares.

“She was just following my orders, which I admit now might have been a little overbearing,” He admitted.

You gave him a "ya think?!" look.

“Look sugar I’ll just help you get in the shower, okay? And maybe...help you brush your hair,” She made an awkward face at your matted hair. You quickly ran your hands over it subconsciously.

You nodded in concession reluctantly, before you typed: “But you have to apologize to my boyfriend,”

“Your boyfriend?!” Sonny practically screeched, looking between you and Rafael in shock.

You gave him a sad look before typing and handing him the phone. He read aloud:

“If I’m gonna die in a few days, I should at least get to have a boyfriend for those few days,”

“That’s not funny,” Sonny said very seriously while Rafael walked up next to you and beside Sonny.

“No it is NOT,” Rafael added.

“Wow, you two finally agree on something,” You typed then attempted a silent giggle, trying to ease the tension. But they were not having it, they both kept their stone cold faces.

“Y/N….” Rafael warned.

“Sunshine…” Sonny emphasized.

You looked between the two of them, typing away. Then you handed the phone to Laverne, having her read it aloud:

“I think we all need to acknowledge that there’s a very real chance that no matter how much good faith Sonny has in our family, they won’t come through. And-- the sooner you accept that, the better. I have,”

“No, that is unacceptable,” Rafael protested.

“Yeah, no way Sunshine,” Sonny reiterated.

You shook your head with a shrug, letting them feel how they wanted to. Then you started gesturing to Laverne in the room to help you. You gave them both a kiss on their cheeks before backing into the room and shutting the door in their faces. They both immediately looked at each other.

“We can’t let her die,” Rafael said, very determined.

“We sure as hell can NOT,” Sonny agreed aggressively.

“I think that's the first time we’ve been on the same page in a very long time, Carisi,” Rafael gave him a small smile, holding out his hand to Sonny.

“...Glad to be back, Barba,” Sonny flashed him his signature smile. He had to admit he had missed being the dynamic duo they were.

“Let’s get to work,” Barba proclaimed.

[generallybarzy]

smile like sunshine vi

Thursday: ~ 9.2k words

previous chapters: i // ii // iii // iv // v

an: writing this was tough on me. I’ve obviously been through a lot of ups and downs while trying to write this, considering it took like 4 months to finish. Continuously losing inspiration and motivation and hitting writer’s block too many times was tough. The chapters keep getting longer and I feel like there are less and less notes everytime. It hurts to see my favorite fic do so poorly, so I've been hesitating to post this. But it’s finally here, and there are only 2 chapters left. Now, let’s see how few notes this gets. Thank you to my beautiful amazing editor/bestie @folkloreflyers I couldn't have done this without you bb 🥰💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

tagging some beautiful people: @sunflowertimothee @deleausvp @dunnwithlyfe @smit41 @softboybarzal @fallinallincurls @matbaerzal @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @hockeyhughes11 @folkloreflyers @nazdaddy @shawnsreputation

summary: after everything that happened last night, Mat and Y/N realize they probably need some time apart to regroup with their thoughts and emotions and prevent themselves from pushing the boundaries of their friendship so far that they’d never return to normal. It’s 2019, eleven years after you first befriended him, and things are definitely different this time around...

If there was ever a time when you wanted to slip away into the memory of what you once had with Mathew: an amazing friendship, not overshadowed or blurred by stupid hormones and growing feelings, it was now.

It was almost tragic to think about how you’d lost all that time and could never go back to the days when you were completely carefree and nothing could bring you down. Those hot, summer days with Mat when watermelon juice and sticky, sugary ice pops dripped down your hands, and your faces were burnt in the sun were long gone. You’d never be like that again. No matter how often you dreamt of it, thought of it, and buried yourself in memories of that summer to block out the worries of adult life, you couldn’t get it back.

The sun was going down on your second to last night at the beach, as you sat by Mat in the sand, giggling as the water lapped at your toes and digging up handfuls of the tiny coquina clams burrowing in the sand- not that you knew what they were called, but did it matter? Your parents sat further back onshore, talking around a fire and watching the younger children, and you and Mat, like always, were left to entertain yourselves. But you wouldn’t have it any other way. No, you loved spending time with him.

You didn’t realize that your time with Mat was coming to an end. You weren’t sure what day of the week it was, where you were, or when you were leaving, but that didn’t matter. Not then.

“Are you having fun with Mat?” Your mom had asked you earlier in the day.

“Yeah, he’s my best friend!”

“Well,” Your mom laughed. “Why don’t you go have some more fun with him. Cherish your time, we won't be here forever.”

You didn't quite understand the weight of her words, but cherish him, you did. The two of you were attached at the hip, to both your parent's amusement, and after only a week of friendship now, your parents could hardly separate you two. 

“Ugh, younger siblings are so annoying." You groaned in agreement to Mat's statement and fell back in the sand when you looked back and saw your baby siblings sucking up all your parents’ attention.

"Yeah, 'cause they're smaller and cuter than us." 

"No, that's not true!” Mat shook his head, dark hair flopping around in the breeze, hazel eyes wide. “You're still pretty cute." 

"Ewwww, Mat!" 

"So am I, my nonna told me!" You laughed at him. Only a week into knowing each other and he could already make you laugh better than any of your friends at school. "So that's not it."

"Well, they always have all the attention. I'm so bored and lonely sometimes." 

"Nuh-uh, you have me. I'm always here to hang out!" He wrapped his arms around your shoulders, his small, sand-covered arms, and neither of you noticed both of your parents watching from the campfire. As wise as they were, they knew that if you had been a few years older, this would’ve been too much for them to handle. And little did you and Mat know, at only ten and eleven years old, but you were about to be separated for eleven years. 

“Friends forever?”

“Forever! I’ll always be here!”

“Promise?” You stuck out your pinky, and Mat linked it happily with his own, smiling that gleaming smile. 

“Promise.”

You had fucked up something amazing.

You woke up early with a pounding headache right as the sun began to beam in through your window, hitting your face in the worst possible way. You’d never so hated the sound of the ocean, but right now, it was just… too much. Too loud. For the first time since you had arrived at the beach, you didn’t wake up smiling and excited to be here, but instead dizzy and confused, questioning what had happened last night, and filled with dread at the thought of having to face the day. And, when you realized what you’d done in your drunken stupor, regret immediately began gnawing away at your mind. 

You had fucked up bad.

You buried your face under your pillows to try and drown out the pounding noises in your ears as the image of yourself flooded to your brain, absolutely wasted and stumbling, pushing your body into his, pushing your mouth onto Mat’s and kissing him. It was drunken, messy, and definitely not the way you'd imagined many, many times, your first kiss with him to be. It wasn't magical and beautiful and gentle and sweet, but drunk and sloppy and one-sided. Unreciprocated. You couldn't stop thinking about his reaction. He hadn’t kissed you back, his hands didn’t cup your face gently and pull you flush against his warm body the way you imagined, but instead pushed you away and held you between his arms and looked at you. He hadn’t even smiled or laughed and brushed it off afterward. He must have been disgusted with your actions, he must have wanted to yell at you, ask “What are you doing?” but understood that you were drunk and settled for pushing you away. He'd confront you today, tell you that he couldn't look at you the same way after what happened, tell you that he no longer wanted to be friends. That when you’d get back to New York, you would never speak to each other again.

Fuck.

“(YN)!” The pounding on your door made you cringe and groan. Well, it might not have been pounding, but it certainly sounded like it, as your head throbbed in agitation. “Wake up honey!”

You groaned and rolled over in bed.

She cracked the door open as quietly as possible, showing a little bit of sympathy, which you were thankful for. “Hungover?” Your groan was enough of a response for her. “You’re not gonna get better lying in here, come out.” When you still didn’t answer, she continued. “I’ll be louder next time I have to come in to get you.” And then she left you to drag yourself out of your lethargic state.

Well, fuck, you thought as you cast a glance out the window where the sun was rising over the ocean, might as well get up and face the day, no point in hiding. You needed to get some fresh air, maybe some alone time on the beach before Mat gets up. You needed to talk to someone about what happened, you couldn’t keep this to yourself, but who would you tell? Not your mom, no one in your family actually. Sure, you were close, but you weren’t gonna tell them about your drunken mistake- how you kissed your best friend. Best friend. Your best friend- all the way back in New York City, who always helped get you out there, was the reason you ever reconnected with Mat in the first place, and would definitely be your maid of honor in the future- would definitely want to know about your kiss with Mat Barzal. 

“Amy…”

You reached over to the bedside table for your phone and the first thing you noticed, after pressing the power button, was an unread text from none other than Mat Barzal, sent at 1:38 am, probably when you got home last night:

Maty: Hope you don’t feel too bad when you wake up.

It was strange, it was unlike him to leave such a message. Yeah, he always checked in and texted you saying he hopes you’re feeling good, but there was no “sleep tight” or anything funny or cute and not even a smiley emoji like usual. Well, in his defense, you had just kissed him. Of course, he’d feel weird around you. 

You sent a quick text to Amy, who you hadn’t spoken to since the beginning of the trip now, and who must have been dying to know anything that happened between you and Mat. She would probably be happy you kissed him, bless her heart, she was in love with your friendship with Mat and the story of how you came to meet, but you needed someone to listen seriously to your problem and help you.

It’d be at least another hour until Mat gets up, you guessed, so, with much hesitation, you dragged yourself out of bed and to the bathroom where you steadied yourself on the sink as your head spun, washed your face, and caught a glance of yourself in the mirror, running a hand through your hair to smooth it down before opening your door to face the day. 

The first thing you noticed, even in your state, was the smell of coffee and breakfast from the kitchen. Usually, you loved that scent, but today it made you want to puke, and as you sat down at the island in the kitchen, you dropped your head into your arms and groaned.

“Rough night?” 

“Pretty bad.” 

The sound of a water bottle being set down in front of you was much louder than it should’ve been. “Drink, it’ll make you feel better.” You took a sip of water and laid down on your arms again, going back to suffering in silence and wracking your head over trying to figure out any possible way out of this sticky situation. “What else is wrong?” You looked up to where your mom was making knowing eyes in your direction. You were close to your mom, sure, you thought you had a pretty good relationship with her, but you were positive you didn’t want to tell her what you had done last night. At least, not now. You knew the news would eventually get to your dad, and you couldn’t imagine what would happen if he found out. 

Hopefully staying pretty ambiguous would save you. “I think Mat’s mad at me.” 

“I doubt it. The boy adores you.” You wanted to tell her no, that’s gross, you’re only friends, but something made you stop. Mat did adore you. He was always there for you, he was the greatest friend ever, and how do you repay him? By kissing him and screwing up both of your feelings? “What makes you think he’s mad?”

“I think I did something stupid last night. Said something dumb when I was drunk. And he sent me a text before bed last night that didn't sound like how he usually does.”

“Well, you won’t know until you talk to him. It won’t be any good to ignore him for the rest of the trip” Fuck, why did her advice have to be good words of wisdom? 

A door rattled open from down the hall and there was Mat, rubbing his face, his hair falling into his eyes, as he crossed the hallway into the bathroom. He cast a glance to the kitchen, locking eyes with you for half a second before he was gone.

You knew he’d be getting up now, so, grabbing your water bottle and phone, you made your way to the back door to avoid any alone time with him. “I’m gonna get some fresh air.” And you headed out the back door and down onto the beach.

Amy had texted you back by now, telling you to call her right away, and you took the moment to reflect, walking down to the water’s edge and just looking out. The early morning heat was cooling down, the sun had barely risen and already dark clouds were rolling in from the horizon, the rain was coming, maybe even a storm in the next hour or so. Sure, you may have made your friendship awkward, but for now, you’re still friends. At least until he comes out to confront you. So until then, you were gonna be proud. You had kissed him. His lips were just as soft and nice as you expected them to be, and his face pressed against yours was something you could get used to. Unfortunately, that scenario was unlikely. 

Your heart raced when you started connecting the video call, and you couldn’t help a smile from spreading over your face for the first time all morning. Yesterday, besides the mistake you’d made, was easily one of the best days of your life. Mat took you out to the pier because he remembered you loved it when you were younger, he remembered he promised to teach you to skate, he even remembered your favorite ice cream flavor. And, despite how much you regretted kissing him, you had kissed him. You had kissed Mat. God, Amy is gonna be fucking ecstatic for you.

“Haven’t heard from you in a while.” 

“Ames, I’m sorry for not calling sooner-”

“Are you kidding?” She laughed, always a welcome sound, and you knew she wasn’t upset. “You’re on vacation with Mat fucking Barzal. But now that I have you for a few minutes, girl, spill. All. The. Details. Now.” 

“Yeah,” You laughed at her words. All the details? “He took me out to the pier yesterday for my birthday. We roller-skated together and held hands.”

“Oh my god, seriously? That’s so fucking cute!” You winced at the way she shrieked in joy for you, your head still pounding as you tried to overcome the hangover. Amy immediately noticed your change and lowered her voice. “Girl, are you hungover?”

“You tell me. I’m twenty-one now, aren’t I?” Before she could start talking again, you continued, figuring it would be easier to just get all your words out there and over with. Rip off the bandaid. “Actually, I did something really bad last night. When I was drunk.”

“Oh shit. Spill!”

“I…” You couldn’t help the small smile on your face. As much as you hated the realistic part of this, you were still overjoyed it had happened. You shook your head and pushed on. “I kissed Mat.” 

It was almost comical how your friend’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened. It almost made you laugh, it had a little smile pulling at your face. Holy shit, it was still sinking in that you’d kissed Mat.  “Oh… my god. You kissed Mat. You kissed Mat Barzal. How was it?”

“Well, messy. I was drunk, he didn’t kiss back at all. But focus on the realistic part, Ames. I made it awkward.”

“Oooh…”

“How are we gonna be friends after this? He’s gonna hate me, he’s gonna wanna leave, he’s never gonna want to talk to me again. He must think I’m so dumb-”

“Babe, listen, he doesn’t think any of that. He’s head over heels for you. If not in love, then in platonic love at least.” 

“Now you’re sounding like my mom.”

“I hate to say it, but I actually agree with her then.” You sighed. As much as you wanted to listen to them, maybe the realistic side of your brain was just too powerful. “Mat has done stupid things around you when he was drunk. Remember the karaoke night? He was so fucking embarrassed in the morning.”

“Yeah, but he never kissed me.” He never kissed you, not once. Not even when you desperately wanted him to, when he was drunk or Christmas Eve, or New Years’, or his birthday, not even when you practically created chances to get close to him, not even when you kissed him.  No matter how much you wanted it, life isn’t a love song. “Look, things don’t just work out like in romance novels. Some things don’t get to last beyond one summer. Sometimes this shit just doesn’t happen. Sometimes it’s just a feeling.”

“It’s only a feeling ‘til you make it more.”

“Shut uuuup. He hasn’t spoken to me since then. He’s obviously upset.”

“Have you tried to talk with him?”

“I mean…” 

“So you haven’t. C’mon, you gotta at least ask him about it.”

“Okay, but if I ask him how he feels he might say he doesn’t want to be friends. If I avoid him completely, he can’t break off the friendship, right?” Before she could respond, you rambled on, maybe to her, maybe just to yourself. Sometimes it’s good to just talk yourself out of something. “We’ve become such good friends in the last year and I really don’t want to lose him because of something stupid that I did while drunk. I feel like I messed everything up.” 

“Babe, babe. You didn’t mess anything up.” Ames smiled at you over the phone as thunder rumbled in the distance. “This isn’t gonna drive him away, okay? He’s in too deep already. Trust me.”

“Alright, we’ll see.” 

And you would see. But now, you had to go to the porch, already feeling raindrops drip from the looming clouds above. The storm was rolling in. And it was coming fast.

------------

Even before Mat’s eyes opened that morning, his mind was racing.

He rolled onto his side in bed, eyeing the pillow he had been hugging against him all night. It was as if he was a child who needed a teddy bear to fall asleep, and he hated how vulnerable you made him feel. But rather, you were his teddy bear and after that night in the motel, he couldn’t sleep without some sort of faux version of you that would never compare. Not to your warmth, your softness, your heartbeat against his chest, the soft sighs of breath against his neck. You had messed him up bad. You had kissed him, and it’s unnecessary to think it needs explaining why he was so confused. “I had a dream about you last night. We were really goin’ at it. You were really good, like, really good.” What had you meant by it? Was it just a dumb mistake? Or is what they say true: “Drunk words are sober thoughts”? The moment your lips touched his last night, he was flooded with serotonin. It was… well, maybe not perfect, but more than he could ever hope for. More than he thought he would ever get. 

He wanted it so bad, he wanted it for months now, but he wanted it sober. He wanted you to know what you were doing. He wanted you to mean it. He didn’t want it like last night.

He pushed himself up, hearing the muffled conversation from the kitchen. He knew it was you and your mom, and, though he couldn’t hear any clear words, he couldn’t help but realize that the conversation had to be about him, and for a moment he was strangely self-conscious. It was an unfamiliar feeling for him, but he was embarrassed, even ashamed he had let anything happen last night. 

He shouldn’t have let you get so drunk.

The moment he opened the door and stepped into the hallway, the conversation came to an abrupt stop. He glanced up into the kitchen, where he immediately caught your gaze, noting how much of a wreck you were this morning. He couldn’t help the way he rushed into the bathroom before you could say anything. 

He heard you say something about “fresh air” and then the back door opened and closed, he finished up his morning routine and rushed back into his room. He’d barely even sat back down in bed when there was a pounding on his bedroom door that was a lot less than friendly. 

“Mathew!”       

Your dad was gonna fucking kill him.

It was safe to say he’d never been more afraid as he jumped to his feet and stepped over to the door, debating on pulling out his phone to send a final “Goodbye, I love you” texts to you, his friends, and family. But there didn’t seem to be any time for that, as the pounding on his door increased. Sucking up a deep breath, he opened it and was greeted by the face of your father with crossed arms and a scowl. He could only choke out a terrified “Yes, sir?”, sounding like a pathetic teen boy caught in a girl’s room.

“(Y/N)”s upset.” 

"I-"

"I don't know why that is, but something tells me you have something to do with it." Mat went silent, trying to figure out what he could say. You were upset? Were you upset with yourself, or with him? He had stopped your kiss, brought you home, got you water, and tucked you into your bed, what had he done wrong? “She thinks you’re angry at her.”

“Why would I be-?”

“Mathew.” The boy closed his mouth when your father put a hand on his shoulder, pushing him over towards the bed. “Sit.” Mat nodded quickly and sat on the edge of the bed, flattening his hands on his thighs awkwardly and waiting for the lecture to start. “Listen, I don’t know what’s happening between the two of you, but I can see how much you mean to her. I know I shouldn’t be too hard on you, but I just need to make sure you’re going to treat her right.” Mat couldn’t help the smile that lit up his face momentarily. He was in the middle of opening his mouth to say thank you when your father rambled on, eyes narrowed, examining the boy in front of him. “(Y/N) has been hurt a lot in the past, and I’ve tried to help. It’s not my place to mess with her love life anymore. She’s not a baby. But the least I can do is make this right. I still remember what you said on our first day here. You like my daughter?”  

He nodded enthusiastically. “I really do. A lot.”

“Good. So then you didn’t mean to hurt her?” 

Mat’s head shook frantically, wracking his brain for what he might’ve done. “Absolutely not. I don’t know why she is, I don’t think I did anything wrong.”

 “I’ve seen her hurt so many times, and I’m gonna trust that you’ll treat her right. Now, I don’t know what happened between the two of you, and I’m not going to ask. That’s between you two. But she thinks you’re angry, you’re obviously not, and you need to fix it.” 

“I know, I promise I will. I’ll make her so happy, I swear to God, I promise you.”

The older man continued to look at his daughter’s friend for a few long, tense seconds, but Mat’s eyes gave everything away with no hesitation. His feelings were genuine, he truly, truly cared. He wasn’t lying. Slowly, he nodded, and Mat’s face lifted in a cautious smile. Was this… approval? Was this your father’s blessing? Your father slapped his hand on Mat’s back. “There’s something else I want to show you. C’mon, Mat.”

-----------

You sat alone on the porch with your little pile of shells, watching the rain pour down beyond the porch, watching the waves continue through the storm, always pushing and pulling despite the circumstances. And as you threaded shell after shell onto your little braided bracelet, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander. 

It was the summer of 2015, you were sitting on the passenger side of his dad’s car, the wind in your hair and OMI's 'Cheerleader' playing on the radio. You had just turned 17 and were trying to live your best life on the coast with your new friends, forgetting about any of your responsibilities and just chilling for this trip. You might have been getting involved in the wrong crowd, but you couldn’t care less. You had your friends, you had your newfound teenage freedom, and, most importantly, you had him.

When you first met him, at the beginning of the summer, he was new to your group of friends. But he immediately seemed to take a liking to you. 

“You’re different.” He would whisper in your ear as you sat around the campfire with your friends before breaking away from the group to go make out by the cliffs. “There’s just something about you.” He would say as his hands glided over your swimsuit under the water, hidden from your other friends eyes. He knew just the right words to say to have you sinking into him, giving in, And you were stupid to follow him.

In the back of your head, this party was a stupid idea, but it was summer, you were young, he was hot, you had to live your life. What was the worst that could happen?

Kyle was behind the wheel of his dad’s car- maybe he had taken it without his permission, maybe not, who knows?- his beachy blonde waves blowing in the breeze and his blue eyes sparkling behind dark sunglasses. His hand was on your thigh, he was always touching you in some way, but what you didn’t know was that you weren’t his only girl for the summer. He wasn’t trying to hide it, all the signs were there, but you were too carefree to notice. 

The car came to a stop and you both jumped out, locking arms around each other before running over to the steamy, crowded party atmosphere.

Really, what was the worst that could happen?

You were sitting there lamenting over your past, nursing a cup of coffee and staring out into the thunder and rain, fidgeting with the object closed in your fist when the door opened down the porch. And when you looked up, of course, you were met by the man himself, wearing a lightweight gray hoodie, the hood pulled up over his dark waves of hair. “Hey Y/N.”

“Mat.” 

There was a moment of silence, perhaps for your damaged friendship or perhaps for the growing feelings that neither of you believed were reciprocated, as you both stayed in place, not knowing what to do or say to the right things to make it better. You let the silence, the tension settle uncomfortably between the two of you as the rain pounded as heavily as your hearts. Mat stayed in place where he was standing at the doorway, not wanting to come any closer. Whether it was because he was upset and grossed out or something else, you couldn’t tell, but you needed the silence to end. “Mat, I’m so sorry about last night. I didn’t mean- I was just, I was drunk and I couldn’t think straight-”

“Hey, hey. No big deal.”

“No, it was so uncalled for, I-”

“Hey, (Y/N), I’ve had people kiss me while drunk before.” He gave you a reassuring smile, but something was missing. Something genuine. That sparkle was missing from his eye and the sunshine was missing from his smile.. Something had definitely changed. Something definitely wouldn’t go back to normal. “Seriously. It’s nothing.” He swore. Cross his heart. Something was definitely wrong, but you weren’t going to bring it up. If he was alright with moving past this, so were you. “You don’t have to feel bad at all.”

“Promise?”

 “Promise. Friends?” He stuck out his pinky for you. 

You smiled at the gesture that threw you back to your childhood and accepted it happily, despite the twinge of guilt and fear in your chest. “Yeah, friends.” 

“Good. I’m glad.” Mat smiled, taking a seat next to you, pretending everything was normal. “I like being friends with you.” He was shouting at himself in his head, this is so fake, so forced. But he would rather force the comfort than not have you in his life at all. And then the silence was back.

The silence was painful, filled with unspoken words- words you could never say aloud- and both of you knew. You weren’t sure if the rain was picking up or it had just become so overwhelming between the two of you that you were hyper fixating on the patter patter patter of raindrops against the porch roof. Friends. Friends. If this is what it's like to be Mat's friend, you could only wonder what it would be like to have him as your own, to be his, to hug him and kiss him and protect him and have him do the same to you.

“I, uhhh.” You glanced over to see Mat’s eyes already dead set on you, and you wondered if he had been staring the whole time. You were almost shy as you opened your fist to him. “I finished it.”

“Woah.”

"Yeah, you like it?" 

“I love it.” Mat took the bracelet with delicate fingers, as if afraid he was going to break it, and slid it onto his wrist gently. A perfect fit. "It's amazing. You're really talented. Seriously. " His eyes were unbelievably soft as he gazed at the pretty shells you had worked so hard to braid together for him. All for him, from you. “I’ll never take it off.” 

"Oh, never?"

"I'm dead serious." 

Your heart throbbed in your chest. The idea of him wearing this bracelet you had worked so hard on, even when plagued by the thought that maybe he wouldn't want to be friends at all anymore, just had you so overwhelmed. The idea of him wearing something you made for him, something so personal, as if it was there to constantly remind him of this summer, of you. Like it was a cute inside joke no one else would ever understand, made your heart ache. It was as if you were claiming him, as if he was claiming you as one of his best friends, one of the few people that got a glimpse into his private life. You were special.

“I’m serious.” He repeated. “Honest. I love it.” 

“Thank you, Mat.”

His arm fell heavily but gently across your shoulders as he tucked you closer into his body, and something about the weight of it against you was comforting, a reminder that he was still there no matter what and he would always be there no matter what. Mat was resilient, and no matter how much you wanted to push him away, he was here. He was your friend. Forever, and through anything.

"Hey," Mat broke the silence. "I have something for you, too." 

"Yeah?" 

"Consider it a late birthday gift."

"Mat, you've already gotten me so much-" 

"Ah, ah. Your dad actually found these. I'm just presenting them." Before you had a chance to ask or even wonder what it could be, Mat was pulling some flimsy rectangles from his hoodie pocket. 

"Are these...?"

"From that summer." Mat finished with a smile, letting you take them from his hands. 

"No way." 

There in your hands were photographs your parents took of you and Mat, ten and eleven years old. The two of you were standing close, Mat’s arm around your shoulders and squeezing you into his hug, both of your faces lit up with wide smiles. You were so close that summer and you weren’t sure how your parents dealt with the two of you. That picture captured a moment of childish joy and innocence- grinning brightly in mid laughter as you built your final sandcastle of the summer together. LIttle did you know, back then, but the next morning, you’d be leaving, leaving your summer-long friendship behind.  

“Look at us.” Mat’s voice was tender, gentle as he leaned in closer and you fingered through the pictures. “I can’t believe we were so small.”

“I can’t believe you still smile the same, Maty.”

He laughed at the nickname that threw him back to that first summer. He quieted down for a few moments as you flipped through the rest of the pictures, his fingers drumming softly on your arm. “I still can’t believe we found each other.”

“I know.”

You could hear your heartbeat pounding against your ribcage as Mat leaned in closer to look at the pictures with you. Your breath hitched in your throat and you stopped suddenly as one picture caught your attention- the family picture taken that year, with both your family and the Barzals posing together as friends. But what really stuck out to you was the way Mat’s face was pressed up against your cheek, in the most innocent, childish kiss you’ve ever seen. 

“Wow, look at that.” Mat chuckled a bit through his words, his eyes soft behind you. He didn’t remember kissing you at eleven years old, but seeing that picture brought sparks to his veins and had memories flooding back to his mind. It was you. You hadn’t just been his first crush, but his first kiss as well. “We’ve come pretty far, eh?” Your silence was almost painful to him, and he couldn’t help the way his face fell. Wrong thing to say, wrong thing to say, oh god oh god oh god.

“Yeah, we have.” 

He smiled again as your voice filled his ears. 

“Do you remember that place, Mat?” His eyes followed your finger as you traced the rocky cliffs in the background of the photo. Oh, did he remember. The little hidden beach, surrounded on three sides by rocky cliffs and sandy dunes and the little ocean inlet shallow and warm and perfect for swimming in, was a beautiful place that immediately brought back memories. You had first found that place on a family walk, and Mat had dared you to jump off the cliffs into the water with him. Of course you didn’t end up jumping, as neither of your parents let you out of their sight. 

“It’s our little hideaway.” 

“Yeah.” You sat in silence for a moment, in awe that you had such a private little place with him, and noticed how the rain was slowing down. “When it stops raining, do you want to walk there tonight?” 

“Absolutely. As much as I love your family, I’ve been dying to spend some time with my girl again.” 

My girl. My girl. My girl. Too much? 

But the smile on your face reassured him. “I wanna spend more time with you too, Mat.” You threw your arm around his shoulders in an act you thought was sweet, but regretted it and drew back your arm as soon as he let out a sharp hiss. “What’s wrong?” 

“Ah, nothing.” 

“You’re sunburnt, aren’t you?” 

“No, no, it’s not bad.”

“Mat, I told you you’d get burnt!” He was quiet, red faced, and you weren’t sure if all the red was from the burn or embarrassment. “Let me see.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Mathew!” 

“I promise.” But you stood up, always just as stubborn as him, photographs in hand, and held your hand out to him. He looked up at you, amused. Oh what you did to him.

 “Come on. We’ll fix you up, dummy.” 

Mat laughed and shook his head before giving in, his palm sliding into yours and following you obediently back into the house. 

-------------

The rainclouds had finally cleared, though it was too late in the day to get any sunlight in, and instead the vast blanket of stars were already beginning to twinkle overhead when you and Mathew headed out after the family dinner. 

“Mat, look at all the stars tonight!”

“You still love them as much as always, yeah?”

“Of course!” 

Mat watched you, adoration evident in his eyes, as you gazed up at the sky in awe. He had to agree. There weren’t stars like this in the city, not even in his hometown. This little oceanfront town didn’t produce enough light to block out the beautiful heavens above. But, his eyes were still fixated on you, on the wonder in your eyes and the way you were so soft and amazing in everything you do. The moon could be falling, for all he cared, there could be a literal alien spaceship in front of them, but all he could see was you. “Beautiful.” 

“They look best after it storms, I think.” 

“Yeah?” Mat could do nothing but nod along, too lost in his own thoughts to find words to say. He hoped he didn’t seem too boring, but walking there, hand in hand with you and feet in the warm sand, his mind couldn’t help but wander. What if you loved me, (Y/N)?

“I think I wanna be a constellation when I die.”

“That’s-” Mat laughed a bit louder than he meant to at your sudden confession, and stumbled to pull himself back together. “That’s a little grim to talk about, isn’t it?” 

“I mean, I just think stars are so pretty, and I’d just love to be twinkling up there, looking down on people. Plus, I’m more of a night person anyway.” You smiled, and Mat’s heart fluttered in his chest. “What about you? If you were reincarnated as something? Maybe… ice? So you could live and die with hockey like you do right now?”

Mat didn’t even need to think for a second, he knew his answer immediately. Stars, stars, I’d lie in the stars with you, spend all eternity by your side. I’d drop hockey, all the wins and the trophies and the attention. I’d drop it all for you. “Yeah, that’d be pretty cool.” 

You walked, hand in hand, down the length of the beach, until you could no longer look back and see your house. Until houses no longer speckled the shore, and instead it was just you, Mat, the ocean and the stars, in your own little world. The shore rose beside you, and after walking around a little bend, you were suddenly hidden away in a little sandy inlet, rocky cliffs surrounding you on three sides, and the ocean, gentle and lapping on the other. 

“Here it is.”

“Looks the same as when we were young.” Your hand slipped out of his, just for a moment, to pull out your phone. “Smile, Mat.” His face lit up, not in one of the dazzling smiles you remember and loved so much, but a softer, gentler little smirk.

“Before and after pic, huh?”

“Yeah.”

For a few moments, his eyes gleamed in mischief, and you should’ve known what was coming.

“You know what? You still never jumped off the dock at the fishing spot with me. But I can think of something that would be even more fun.” You were about to ask what, but the smirk on his face as he glanced towards the cliffs and raised a hand to motion towards it should’ve told you that nothing innocent was coming. “Remember that dare?”

“Oh my god.” You laughed at the excited look on his face.

“Let’s jump off that rock.” 

“Are you the bad influence my parents always warned me about? Who asks if I’ll jump off a bridge with them?”

He laughed, loud and boisterous and bouncing around the sandy dunes and cliffs that hid you away from the rest of the world. “Maybe I am.” And then he stretched his arms above his head and tossed his shirt to the sand, the muscles of his now bare chest and shoulders shining in the pale moonlight, watching with a giddy smile as you looked him over with an incredulous laugh. He took a few strides back towards the rocks, giving you an enticing smirk and luring you out to him like a siren with his song. “So? You coming in or what?” You should’ve turned back right there; you should’ve recognized the signs and listened to your head rather than your heart, your hormones, and turned back to shore and ran, left him here alone instead of stepping over this boundary- scratch that, fucking barrelling through this boundary like it was a race to finish- but you didn’t. You stayed. Worse yet, you stepped towards him, foolishly, blinded by that goddamn stupid smile. 

No, no, you really shouldn’t. But you were so fucked for him, for that smile, for that cocky little “gotcha” laugh that he always did when you followed him so blindly, without any hesitation. You were so in love. Fuck it.

“Unfortunately, Maty, I’d follow you anywhere.”

There was a rocky path leading from the sand up the side of the cliff, a natural staircase, or so it had seemed when you were younger and more imaginative. Mat grabbed your hand to help you up, his palm big and heavy against your own, and you couldn’t help but wonder how you used to make it up here as children. 

At the top, your eyes met the most beautiful sight, and, for once, it wasn’t just the man standing next to you. The moon had risen over the ocean, casting its cool glow across miles and miles of water. The water was dark and blue and lapping gently at the pool below you, and the air was still warm, though the rocks beneath your feet were finally cooling off. You both watched in silence for a few moments, taking in all the beauty of the scene before you and forgetting all about his hand in yours. 

“It’s certainly a lot smaller than I remember.” It was true, the rock definitely wasn’t as high as you pictured it to be. It was a high cliff, sure, but standing atop it was much less intimidating than facing your feelings for Mat. 

“Yeah, well, you were a lot smaller eleven years ago too.”

He snickered, his hand squeezing yours, perhaps subconsciously, or maybe in realization, he’d still been holding it. But he still didn’t let go, and neither did you. His face was warm, not that you’d ever notice, not in the dark. “Well, you’re about the same size.”

“Mat! Not true!”

“Yeah, it is.” He pulled you against his side like he always did in a little half-hug and laughed that beautiful laugh of his. After a few more moments of smiling silence, Mat hummed in thought. “Ya know what? I know what would make this jump a lot more fun.”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“Skinny dipping.” 

Your heart almost stopped when the words passed his lips. You hesitated to respond, laughing a little bit. “No, you’re not serious.”

“Yeah, I mean, no one can see us out here. There are no houses nearby. Only us.” It was tempting, so, so tempting, and Mat could tell you were right on the edge of saying yes. You were. “Listen, I’ll stay far away from you the whole time and I won’t even look at you, I promise. But we’re leaving soon, we'll probably never get another chance at this exact spot, and we’re twenty-one, twenty-two, let’s do something reckless. Let’s be stupid together. Yeah?”

You bit your lip, and Mat would never admit to you how much you turned him on at that moment alone, but he stored that image away for later tonight. You were considering it, but both you and Mat already knew you had made up your mind long ago.  

“Sure.”

“Yeah?”

You laughed, the excitement of doing something so scandalous and dangerous and intimate with him finally settling in. Mat smiled back at you, you both laughed and looked at each other with complete reckless abandon. There was nothing else to lose after this. Easily every shred of friendship would be gone. You couldn’t be just friends anymore. “Let’s be reckless.”

“Let’s go, baby!” 

“You first, though.” You stepped away from him and motioned towards his shorts, your heart pounding and cheeks hot. The smile on his face should’ve warned you that he wasn’t playing around here, but for some reason, you were still shocked at what he did next.

“Alright, fine.” You could feel a slickness between your thighs as he hooked his fingers in the waistband of his shorts and smirked as he shimmied them down, making a great show of swaying his hips and biting his lip, trying and succeeding to be as sexy as possible. And though you jokingly laughed and pleaded for him to stop, the dull ache in your core only worsened when you caught just a glimpse of what lay beneath the fabric, at the end of that V shape in his hips. Your eyes shot up to the sky, your face red hot and shy when he lifted his swim trunks as proof and flung them towards your feet. 

“Ew, Mat!”

“Come on, your turn!” Your heart pounded and you couldn’t help the wave of self-consciousness. But Mat’s smile was addictive, and he made you so comfortable, comfortable enough to have you pulling Mat's hoodie over your head, letting it fall by your ankles and leaving you in your bikini.

“Turn around, Mat.” 

He raised his hands in surrender and smiled as he turned, and you couldn’t help but glance- for just one second- down at his toned thighs and ass. Wow…. “I know you’re staring, y/n/n.” 

“Wha- no!” 

“I don’t mind, babe. Look wherever you want. I'm all yours.” And his body shook with laughter as you undid the string of your top and slipped out of your bottoms and tossed the fabric towards his feet. You could see him do a double-take at the sight, as if he didn't believe you were serious about skinny dipping, but you couldn’t bring yourself to laugh, to busy marveling at his physique, the dark swoop of hair he kept running his hand through- a nervous habit you’d recognized as far back as 2008- the muscles of his back and shoulders, the dip at the small of his back, his toned ass, his thighs... He wasn’t even looking at you, but there was something about how you were so bare, so vulnerable, so close to him. Just the idea of his body and yours being so close and so primal, so exposed, and about to take this leap… something was stirring up a fire, a fire you'd put out later. Your fingers slipped down between your thighs momentarily, marveling at how hot Mat made you before they wiped hastily on your thigh and you stored those memories away for later that night. Your other hand curled into Mat’s again, and his fingers squeezed around yours at the contact, as if it was the most natural thing to do. The only thing against his body, besides your own skin, was the bracelet you had put all your love and energy into, all for him, and now you were standing on the edge, taking a final breath. About to jump. About to fall with him as hard as you’d already fallen for him.  

“You ready, Maty?”

“I think I should be asking you, pretty girl.” 

You hesitated, still a little nervous, trying to build up that excitement. “Countdown?” 

“Course. After three. Say it with me?”

“Okay." Your thumb smoothed over his hand, tightening your grip. "Three.”

“Two.” He squeezed back.

“One.” 

Mat gave a final, devilish smirk as he whispered “Jump.” and, with one of his iconic howls, your feet were off the ground. 

You felt so free, so vulnerable, so exposed, falling naked through the cool air, hands clammy and grasped against each other, shrieking in excitement and adventure. You had bared yourself to Mat, you had stripped yourself of any fears and leaped with him, as if each article of clothing that hit the ground was another shedded insecurity, another forgotten reason for hesitation. You’d pushed the boundaries until they couldn’t go any further, then said “fuck it” and tore the boundary away. There was a brief moment of fear as you hit the cold water, but the moment you resurfaced with a gasp to see Mat’s smiling face, his hair dark and saturated, dripping into his eyes, you couldn’t help but laugh. 

You'd done it.

"Wow!"

“Right?” 

Your combined laughter filled the little inlet with squeals of glee as you splashed around with Mat. It wasn’t too deep, but deep enough that your feet couldn’t touch the bottom, and you instinctively gravitated towards Mat. You moved closer toward him, maybe subconsciously, as if your body craved his more than your mind would ever be able to comprehend. As if you were pulled to him by some force you couldn't control, the same way you'd found each other after 10 years apart, how you'd found yourselves here again, so close, so opened up and bare before each other, even after you'd both thought you'd wrecked any chances. How you had found the sunshine in Mat's smile again, even after the rain. 

"Was it worth it?" 

"Absolutely!" 

The water was cold, goosebumps were popping up along your arms and legs, and across Mat’s as well. And as you drew closer to him and reached out for his wrist, dragging your hand from the bracelt he wore so proudly, up the length of his arm, his hands reached for yours as well, looking for a lifeline as his smooth voice reached your ears. 

“You cold?” 

You nodded and ran your hands across the tight muscles of his biceps, warm despite the chilly air, and flattening them against his chest before bringing them up, up, up behind his neck to tangle in his dark, wet hair. Your breath hitched in your throat when Mat's hands dipped under the water to your waist, leaving a bit of space between your bodies and honoring his promise from earlier to stay away, but asking permission with his eyes. His big hands squeezing your waist was making your mind spin, and you could barely stutter out a quiet: “You?”

“Nah. Feels fine for me.” He grinned, "But I can help you." He pulled you ever so slightly closer, slowly, slowly, until you were flush with each other, your bodies slick and wet and warm in the cool water, every crevice and curve fitting against each other like puzzle pieces. Mat’s blown eyes traced over your face, from your eyes, down to your lips, and leaned down, pressing his face against your shoulder and pulling you as close as possible, bringing a knee up to prop you against him. He opened his hot mouth along your skin, leaving wet kisses across your shoulder and up your neck. Your chest was pressed flush against his, your nipples poking out hard against his skin, your hands in his wet hair, his big hands engulfing your waist with his touch, his knee inserted between your thighs to keep you against him, floating, weightless, against him. “Let me help?”

And God, how you wanted him to help.

It seemed as if every part of you was touching. Your skin was hot and wet and the sound of the gentle lapping of water against your bodies and on the shore made everything feel like a dream. Even more euphoric, though, was the way Mat's eyes- dark and needy- found yours, in the way you'd always seen in your dreams. The way you'd only seen in your dreams. Until now.

And then, finally, your mouths.

Your mouths collided hot and needy, open and wet and the furthest thing from chaste, wanting to swallow each other up, to ease the aches you had tried to bury so deep in your bodies. You wanted to get so lost in him that you’d never come back, so lost in him that for the rest of time it’d only be you and Mat and the ocean. Weightless, naked, and hot. And he wanted to bury himself in you, hide away from the rest of the world for just this night. He’d been craving it all week. And what he’d been craving was more than sex, it was the affection, the intimacy, the closeness of being with you, entangled with you, so gentle but so needy, giving in completely and finally- finally- letting your hearts take control. His tongue was slippery and warm against yours, and it felt, for a moment, as if this was meant to be.

“I would treat you so much better than he did.” Mat’s mouth was hot and wild and messy against yours, breathing against you and moaning out his confession. “I would be so much better. I’d fucking cherish you.” 

“Mathew.”

“Fuck, I’d take such good care of you.” 

“Mat, I want you.”

 “Fuck,” He groaned against you, rocking his body against yours gently. Your hands burnt his skin wherever you touched, your nails dragging along smooth, wet skin and leaving angry red lines in their wake, dragging down his sides, over his hard abs, right to that one forbidden area. “I want you so bad, baby.”

There were no more words, only hot, aching silence as Mat held you against him. You were slick between your thighs, even under the water you could feel that familiar warmth, the tingling in your belly at the sound of his voice and the feeling of his face against yours, his nose pressed against your cheek as his lips ravaged yours, his tongue delving into the crevices of your mouth to taste you, to feel every part of you. His hands slid to your ass and pulled you as close as possible, molding your skin against his and gluing you to him with the passion. You could feel his desire, hard and swelling and needy between your bodies, and you wanted him. You wanted him more than anything. 

“Stop, stop, stop.” 

Mat, always concerned with you before anything else, pulled away, his eyes wide and worried, his hands dropping you back into the water, where you pushed yourself back as fast as you could, trying to catch your breath. “What?”

“We can’t.” 

He said nothing else, but nodded and stepped away from you, averting his eyes, his face hot and his head spinning. Fuck, he was still aching. But you took your chance to wade to shore and scramble up the rocks to collect your clothes and hide yourself again. You were shaking, trying to shake away the shame flooding through your body at what you just did. Fuck, fuck, fuck, why did you have to do that? Why did you do something that stupid? If last night didn’t ruin your friendship, tonight certainly did.

Mat was standing in the sand at the bottom of the cliff, turned away from you, trying to even out his breathing, and you brought his swim trunks down as a courtesy, the least you could do. “Thanks.” His voice was choked up, strained, and he cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck before pulling them back on.

The walk home was silent, but not silent in the way that it had been earlier, comfortable and warm. There was no hand-holding, no smiles, no funny small talk. Only pain and heartbreak. Both your minds were struggling to process the last hour. Why had you decided to leave the house tonight? Why did you let yourself take it that far? How could you ruin something so amazing? How many chances would you give each other before giving up and never spoke again?

You almost ran up the porch into the house and to your bedroom, as Mat followed silently behind. Your bedroom door was already locked, you were already hidden beneath the covers, tears in your eyes and hands between your thighs with the thought of Mat paguing your mind, when Mat made it to his, glanced across the hallway at your door, and finally hid himself away.

He wished he didn’t feel this way, he wanted nothing more than to love you as a friend, but the same as every other night, Mat fell asleep with you floating through his mind. Only this time, it was more than your image. It was the smell of you, your burning touch, your sweet taste as your tongue danced against his own, imprinted on his brain, daring him to even try to think of another woman ever again. He bit his tongue as he jerked his desire desperately into his hand, holding back his moans and his cries as he spared one last thought to you before spilling out and letting the tears stream down his hot cheeks. 

And he fell asleep, sticky and shameful and, like always, thinking of you. 

[evandearest]

The Garden of Eden | Part IV: Betrayal

Pairing: James March x reader (you) | ~Part: (4/4)~

Summary (Part Four): Warnings are to be remembered, although most stored away for future use only to be forgotten. Cycles repeat to teach lessons; to warn of future events. Threats may remain even if not for the blind eye to see. However, ignorance might be the biggest threat of all.

Warnings (in this part): murder, blood, death, poison, religious twists, dark themes

Word Count: 5,018 (haha this part ended up with the most words... to end it off I suppose!)

Notes: This is the last part of the Garden of Eden! I just want to say thank you to all who read - especially @etoile-writings , for supporting me. Please go check out her series Adam and Eve, as it is a literary masterpiece and she deserves so much recognition.

I have seriously had so much fun writing this - it really has been my pleasure. I also want to apologize to all those who may have been waiting for awhile for the final part! Disclaimer: I tried my best to edit the grammar and everything in this but this is the best I could do! I hope there’s not many mistakes I may have missed. Please ask any questions and give me all your comments about this finale - I’d love to hear any and all thoughts! I also hope everyone is safe, healthy, and happy :) Feel free to send in other requests, whether it be AHS or Supernatural.

Also a heads up - keep a look out for the final review and analysis if you are interested. It is still in progress but it should be out within a couple of days at best.

A few side notes - the Countess and James are still legally married here, as they are in the show, but in this situation it is only because they haven’t gotten the chance to divorce. This part may seem to have very long sentences, but I just wanted to let you guys know that it is a writing technique that I used to create mood, tone, and theme. That’s all, thanks!

Tag List: @etoile-writings @haileyybird @ietss

Something about the young couple in the bar had your mind reeling. Their hands remained interlocked on the table, both of them staring at one another with all the joy and adoration that only true love can bring. Their relationship was new and exciting. The honeymoon phase was always so perfect. You remembered how that had felt with James; so invigoratingly energizing. It was enough to make you feel as if you ruled the world; love blinding a vision of truth. It was, for many years, what you had considered paradise to be.

Paradise.

You realized now that it never had been perfect with you and James. There were so many things standing in the way, so many hidden threats. When you were younger, it had been your parents and their obsessive need to marry you off like an object to a rich man. Even as he had began his journey to success, James’ social status as new money hadn’t seemed good enough to them. When you had first gotten back with James only just around a month ago, you had thought that you’d conquered everything. You had been blind to the truth which was right in front of you once again. You should have expected some kind of change in James. It was inevitable, after all that time spent apart.

But now, however, right at this present moment... well, now, everything was out in the open. Now, you and James truly understood one another. Now there really was nothing in your way. You could see no obstacles ahead, no threat, so long as James was by your side. All you saw was James, and all that clouded your mind was your admiration and devotion to him. He was your everything; your soulmate, your leader, your God. He had dragged you from the fire and brought your paradise back to you; good, true, and everlasting this time around. Your precious Garden of Eden, controlled by none other but you and your God.

Your God; who had been the utmost of clever in his recent schemes. He’d been outraged when he did it, but it wasn’t to say that he wasn’t brilliant. He was of excellent prosecution; his statement out in the open and clear. A Sunday morning: police finding piles of dead bodies compiled with numerous copies of nothing other than the book of God himself. It was sadistic and morbid, but it was perfect. It was everything that James needed to say. He was on the verge of something momentously renowned.

Once James was finished, no one would ever forget his message: religion was the worst thing to happen to society. It controlled the will of man, when truly nothing in creation could stop anything. Everyone was put equal on the Earth to sin, to live in the most pleasurable way.

It was the entire reason Adam and Eve had been cast down. They were sinners, except the garden was a place controlled by God’s rules. They had wanted to control their own lives, so God banished them to Earth. James, however, had created his own paradise; his own Garden of Eden. He had climbed so far above all other men that he now controlled the garden. He had to prove to others the ridiculousness of holiness--for all were meant to sin. Religion was, essentially, suppression. To some, it may seem horrible, but to you, it was art. A simple expression of belief that most didn’t understand.

Voices floated into your ears, startling you out of your thoughts. Soft echoes through the lobby of your beloved’s name piqued your interest, your feet immediately carrying you to the railing without much thought. You left your drink on the bar’s counter--still full, but long forgotten. Your eyes landed on four men clad in black suits, shiny gold badges on their shoulders reflecting light from the chandeliers above. You scanned the area, noticing a certain maid standing close by, listening in, much like you were.

“We have suspicion based upon evidence that Mr. March was involved in the murder this past Sunday. We have already taken the time to get a warrant for his arrest,” one of the officers explained to the receptionist at the front desk. Time seemed to take a standstill, your heart seeming to stop completely as your brain registered the man’s words. No, this couldn’t be happening.

The cycle was repeating again. They were trying to tear you apart again.

You didn’t understand how this could’ve happened. He said he was careful, and you could never see James making a mistake with something this important. He was detail-oriented, his brain practically ran off of the certainty of perfectionism. He would never let a small mistake ruin everything for him.

The entire empire he’d built, and everything you’d rebuilt, was about to be destroyed all over again.

Your body seemed to catch up with your mind as you sprung into action. You twisted around, your feet pushing you forward only to come to a halt at the close proximity of the once unknown presence behind you. Your eyes widened, a sharp breath escaping your lips at the stop you made compared to your sudden momentum. You stared into the eyes of none other than The Countess, clad in only the most extravagant clothing and makeup.

“That’ll be a hard one to get out of,” she said, although her face was seemingly expressionless. You stared at her, your frenzied brain jumping to the first conclusion you could make.

“Did you...” you trailed off, your breathing suddenly heavy. James couldn’t have made the mistake, so that means that somebody else had to of given the police some kind of tip in order for them to seek James out. The woman standing before you was quite possibly the number one suspect. “Did you do this?” Your voice held tones of disbelief and anger.

Would Elizabeth really go to such extent when she hadn’t even expressed a major disliking? She hadn’t talked to you at all since that first time, in fact the only interactions you’d had with one another were passing glances. She’d seemed to have just steered clear of anything to do with you or James. You had no idea what she had thought, but you had supposed that she didn’t care about you and James, otherwise she would have spoke her concerns. Had you been wrong about her? Could a simple mistake end it all over again? Elizabeth scoffed, her face hardening.

“Oh God no...” she said wryly, a small sarcastic grin forming on her lips as she looked at you quizzically, “what would I get out of it now? As I am still his present wife, I don’t need James dead to use his money. And besides, now that he has you he no longer bothers me.” She was smug as she spoke to you. She grinned, all teeth and mischief, her eyes sparkling. “It’s a winning situation for the both of us if you ask me.” She paused, her grin falling slightly as her gaze wondered off to peer down into the lobby.

“I could bet I know who the rat is, though,” She said, turning back to you. “I’m wagering it’s his loyal minion. That poor woman has been in love with James since the beginning of time.” She paused, her eyes intense as they rested on your face. “And based on your expression you think so too.” She smiled at you and then turned, walking slowly away from you. “Good luck,” she called back to you without turning around, your eyes watching her back as she went.

You stood contemplating her words for a moment. Elizabeth was smart and straightforward, and from what you could tell if she had a problem she would speak her mind. And what she had said made sense. Miss Evers was in love with James, but her love was unrequited, and that’s why she constantly seemed at odds with you. She could never even have a chance to be with him, so long as you were around.

Your feet carried you quickly as you raced to the elevator. The police were still conversing with the receptionist, but you knew it was only a matter of time before they found out where James was. You recalled a conversation you’d had with him in the morning, concluding that he had to be caught up attending to his hobby.

The police would find him in his office, in the middle of his business, and it would all be over. He would be taken from you once again.

You didn’t even knock upon arriving; you opened the door and closed it quickly behind you. You turned to face James, in all his blood-covered, god-like glory. You took in the scene of James’ office quickly, your eyes tracing over every detail. A large bin sat in the center of the room, a rugged corpse contained within it. James had been busying himself with pouring a substance over the body, of which could only be acid, as it had sizzled upon impact with the dead man’s skin. At your arrival, James halted his methods in confusion.

Several items were scattered across the floor, one of which catching your interest. The glass of the vase; a damp spot surrounding the area where the unaltered mess remained. The roses remained too, the petals wilting from lack of nourishment. You paused, your mind trying to puzzle out their unmoved position. Miss Evers had to have been in here since last night, so why wouldn’t she move them? She might have been scheming, but she was extremely adamant on being neat when it came to James’ specific rooms. You couldn’t see her ignoring it, and yet here it was sitting puzzlingly. You were caught off guard for a reason not entirely known to you. Something about their appearance had you alarmed, a string of words suddenly ringing out in your head; perhaps a memory brought to the surface.

“If you betray the rose, the rose no longer profits you.”

The old woman was suddenly prevalent in your mind, her warning dawning upon you, your heartbeat stuttering at the looming echo of her words. James was waiting for you to explain yourself--the police were coming--Miss Evers had betrayed you--everything you and James had worked so hard for was crumbling down around you. Your heartbeat was fast, the pulse beating quickly, perhaps the reason for the pounding in your head.

You looked James in the eyes, studying his features. He was so handsome--even before you knew him, that day in the garden when you had first seen him--you had marveled at his beauty. And that was before he’d become such a man; his features sharp and masculine, beautifully sculpted by the gods. His dark brown eyes and hair, so dull yet so prominent--a symbol of his darkness. You could stare at him for eternity and never bore, your love for him everlasting.

And yet, here you were at the end with no escape, hell a threat once again hanging above your heads, looming just around the corner. Just a few more minutes and everything would be over. Just a few more minutes and you’d be lost again, stranded without your guide; your purpose--your God.

“James,” you gasped, stumbling slightly as you made your way to him. You’d just managed to get to him before you fell over slightly, your arms reaching out to grasp onto his tightly. He caught you, keeping you level as his face filled with concern. The pounding in your head was intense, beginning to drown out your thoughts and quicken your breath.

“Darling, tell me--what is it?” James demanded, his voice panic-stricken. He lifted your chin to look you in the eyes, his widened orbs meeting yours with intensity.

“I-it’s--the- the police,” you barely managed to get the words out, clinging onto James like he was your lifeline. Nothing seemed right; your thoughts suddenly taking too long to form into words, your breathing heavy, vision blurry, and it was becoming much harder to stand. What was happening? You stared into James eyes, shifting all your focus into him. “They’re here to arrest you.” One hand gripped his arm firmly as you brought the other to rest upon his cheekbone, leaning chest to chest as your body began to collapse into him. He held you steady, forever the one and only thing to truly support you. “They’re going to take you from me,” you sobbed, an onslaught of tears overcoming you. “Again,” you cried quietly, gasping for air.

The door opened, your heart skipping a beat at the intrusion, your mind going straight to the thought of the police. Your eyes landed on Miss Evers instead, confusion settling on you once again. She’d gotten what she wanted, hadn’t she? Why was she here now, to prove something? You wished you had the strength to question her, to say anything, but everything felt heavier and heavier as more time passed.

“Tell me,” James barked at her just as she’d closed and locked the door, “what in all creation is happening? Speak right this instant, and quickly.”

“The police are here,” Miss Evers explained, James grip on you tightening as you leaned onto him for support. He glanced down at you, worry glinting in his eyes as you just barely managed to look up at him.

“Darling,” he whispered, “what is happening? Are you ill?” A moment of silence passed as you tried to respond, your mouth opening but no words becoming audible. A moment of silence passed, the only action being James assessing you. Your words couldn’t seem to form, a burning spreading through your entire body. It was unlike anything you’d ever felt. You began to wonder yourself if you were somehow ill.

“It was supposed to be me!”

The maid across the room suddenly shrieked, desperation clouding her judgement as she flung her arms up in the air. “I was the one for you!” She sobbed, stumbling slightly as an expression of hurt formed upon her face. “I always loved you, and these women--they never did! They used you, and I always cared!” James eyes widened, shock coming across his features. He stared at the woman, contemplating her words.

“But you never saw,” the woman said sadly, her head hanging in shame before her face went emotionless. “And so I did the only thing I could.” She looked at him, dead in the eye, a type of malice suddenly overcoming her. “You’d be surprised how easy it was.” Her eyes settled upon your frame, your head moving slowly to get a glance at her. You stared, blinking rapidly as your vision faded in and out. You could barely comprehend what she was saying, but you felt as James’ breath quickened. It was taking all of your willpower to stay awake--you needed to, for James.

“What?” he stated, his voice deeper than you’d ever heard it, a rage within his eyes even you had never seen before as he stared at her. He was tense, as hard as a rock, glaring daggers at the woman who had seemingly betrayed him.

“I--,” Miss Evers hesitated, obviously intimidated by his fury, but decided to continue. “I’ve found that you have a secret stash of cyanide in the bar.” She faltered once again, her eyes shifting away from James and to the floor. “I wanted us to be together, and she-” she pointed at you, “-she was always in it for the money! They all are, all but me!” She burst into tears, falling onto her knees in hysterics. Your eyebrows furrowed as you racked your brain to gather all of the information. She poisoned you at the bar. You remembered brief flashbacks of the one tiny sip you’d taken of your previously forgotten drink.

James seemed to be shaking as he gently moved you to sit in a chair by the wall, turning away from you for only a moment. Your eyelids began to flutter as sleep beckoned you, visions of James’ movement around the room the only thing to hold your focus. A loud pop suddenly reverberated off of the walls as it rang out, causing you to sit up slightly from your slouched posture, your eyelids flying open to search for the source. James stood over the body of his betrayer, smoking gun resting within his palm.

You felt so weak, your thoughts jumbled, unable to focus on only one. Only now you knew it wasn’t just an overreaction. You’d only taken a mere sip of the drink from the bar, but you supposed now that it had been enough for the poison to go into effect. You wondered briefly how she’d gotten the cyanide into the drink in the first place, and exactly how much she had put in for it to have such a potent effect on your body.

Your eyes traveled to her corpse, and to the fresh blood splattered across the wall from the headshot. You blinked, barely registering what had just occurred before you. You were too dazed to process the incident, even if you understood what had occurred subconsciously. Relief was the only thing you felt; relief for one less thing to worry about standing between you and James.

Eyes shifting slightly to the left, you stared at the browning roses, the sweet old lady’s warning once again echoing, a distant memory brought to the surface of your mind. James crouched in front of you, suddenly the only thing in line of sight, his lips moving but you couldn’t hear his voice over your own in your head. The roses were dead. You left them on the floor. You betrayed them for--

You sprung up once again as a loud banging at the door shocked you back into your senses. James glanced briefly at the door before turning back to you quickly. He pulled you out of the chair, holding you up and close to his chest as he stroked your hair tenderly.

“James,” you just barely whispered as he shushed you.

“I know, darling,” He said reassuringly, pulling back to look into your eyes. “It’s all going to be okay, dear. It’ll all be over before you know it.” He smiled charmingly as you nodded weakly, holding tightly onto the cloth of his shirt to maintain stability. And you believed him in that moment, as he always seemed to find a way.

One way, or another.

You rested your head on his chest, closing your eyes as the pounding on the door increased. Or maybe it was the pounding in your head; at this point you couldn’t decipher what was real and what was just a figment of your imagination. Cold metal pressed against the skin of your temple, your brain too bleary to question it. Mere seconds passed as you contemplated moving, but suddenly it was as if everything had settled away. James’ warm body faded from your grasp.

-🤍-

Your eyelids fluttered open, eyeballs moving back and forth as you tried to become familiar with your surroundings. You recognized the familiar room immediately, for it was your bedroom when you had first moved into the Cortez. You felt strange. Zen, almost, but maybe that was just because the pounding was gone. You felt... disconnected. It was the most out of touch with yourself you’d ever felt.

You climbed to your feet from the floor, thoughts running rampant at what was unknown to you. Where was James, how did you get here, how long had you been here, and why did you feel so cold? Flashes of what seemed to be both years ago and only moments ago clouded your mind, filling you with dread. Scenarios of what could be frightened you and sent you into a state of panic, pushing you forward.

Out of the room you went, through the quiet and empty halls, searching, searching, searching--no fixed destination ahead except something, anything, that could lead you to your James.

It seemed that days had passed before you finally found the lobby of the hotel. Navigation through the building was proving to be much more difficult than you remembered. Why was it taking so long?

The lobby was sparsely populated, unlike the usually crowded area that you were used to. You glanced around, noticing only a few people in the bar, the receptionist, and someone asleep on the sofas. Your feet carried you to the hotel entrance, pushing the first door open, the sunlight peeking through the opaque glass surprising you. If it was the daytime, then why was the hotel so empty? On ordinary occasions people came and went like flies; the Cortez was a hotspot in the city of Los Angeles, after all. Your hands reached out to push open the door to the outside, the metal handle of the door cool against your skin, and then suddenly nothing. In front of you was the door no longer; profound confusion coursing through you as you stared at the walls of your bedroom once again. You had been there one second, and in the next it was as if you had been teleported back in time.

And so the cycle repeated for what seemed like years; many times set adrift through the halls, eventually to the lobby where the sunlight no longer shone through the windows and unusually few people inhabited. You were reaching forward for the handle of the first door for what seemed to be the hundredth time, only to freeze at the call of your name from a familiar voice.

“Y/N.”

Your name sounded of honey dripping off his tongue. It was like hearing that voice for the first time again. All your worries deflated and anxieties subsided--for you had found your God once again. You turned to face him, to see his face--the face you had longed to see for what felt like years but may have been minutes. You still didn’t entirely understand the detachment from your body you felt; it was as if you no longer had a life source, no blood running course or lungs cycling air. You felt out of place and trapped at the same time.

Just as your hopes had soared, they plummeted at the sight of the bare lobby. Emptiness sat instead where you had expected James to be, crushing all sense of direction. You wanted to cry, to scream, to tear the hotel to shreds with your bare hands. But just before you gave up all hope completely, your eyes caught on the tiniest of details.

Barely noticeable, unless payed close attention to; unless already a prominent object in one’s mind. Small, dainty, white petals lay scattered in high correlation, leading on to an unknown but obviously specific destination. You treaded lightly as you followed the path closely, afraid any disturbance would somehow make them disappear.

Unease settled through you, possibly just a usual feeling as of late, but considerably appropriate when meeting the isolate hallways once again. You began questioning your sanity; was this just yet another repeat in the cycle? You’d been lost for so long, was this just another loop? What was the energy here, and why did it not feel like you and James’ beloved Cortez, the place you called home? You felt like you were stuck in a punishment of some kind; a purgatory; a hell.

And at last, you arrived; the room in which this cycle had began, or ended. The office of James Patrick March: Room sixty-four. You paused, contemplating, before making a bold decision and gripping the handle, opening the door and entering the room. There you stood in what was once James’ office, now empty of most furniture, only few items remaining. And there it remained: the vase on the table in the center of the room, petals leading straight to their source.

Inside sat the very white roses themselves, southern California glory and all. They looked just like the ones in that very first garden: huge, bright and beaming, petals spread with all the beauty and radiance of nature and purity. And just behind them stood their God; the master of the garden who held the utmost control in his realm. Your God, who’d saved you from hell; who’d broke all cycles.

The feeling you felt at sight of James did not fail to excite you just the same as it had on that first day years ago. Something about his presence next to yours soothed you, for you knew that he was still there, that he hadn’t been taken from you, that no matter what had happened you were still okay so long as he stood next to you.

You rushed forward and into him, basking in his embrace. His arms wrapped around you, but the challenge once again presented itself: an unignorably apparent absence of warmth. It’d been just before you’d first woken up what seemed like years, or maybe just hours ago, that you’d been in his embrace just the same, his warmth seeping into you and igniting your soul as you had faded in and out of consciousness. But now, you couldn’t feel it. You felt his body wrapped around yours, but nothing inflaming, the detachment from your own warmth just the same. It was missing, a shell of a comfort that used to always be present; something you had gotten entirely used to, for to be absent of warmth was to be dead...

You gasped, pulling away from James to look him in the eyes, the reality setting in and the drunkenness fading away. Your mind was becoming clear, all clarity suddenly bestowed upon you.

“James, are we...” you froze in panic, for it felt as if you didn’t have lungs, the normal rise and fall of the simplicity of breathing gone... the feelings of life were all gone...

And it clicked.

“James,” you whispered, your eyes tracing over the details of the room. The blood stains on the floor and walls were the only evidence of foul play left. You felt strange, for people didn’t normally expect to see the place of their death after the fact. Realizations settled over you as you stared at the room, just as you had initially when entering to warn James of the police, the truth of the events that had happened finally dawning upon you. In your poison-induced state of mind, it’d been hard to realize. You had been dying, the poison slowly but surely shutting your body down. You’d barely processed it when James had held the gun to your head and pulled the trigger, ending your pain.

“Yes, darling?” James replied to you, bringing you back to your conversation. You stared at him longingly. Although you didn’t entirely understand why you were still here, or the concept of the afterlife, you were glad to have James next to you. A moment of silence passed as you tried to pinpoint what you wanted to ask him exactly.

“I have so many questions,” you said, deciding to just speak your mind. You furrowed your eyebrows, blinking rapidly as you tried to sort out your thoughts. “I-I’m so lost, James.”

“Of course you are, dearest,” James said reassuringly, his hand brushing the stray hairs away from your face. He stared at you sadly. “I’m terribly sorry for all that happened, you must feel perplexed beyond understanding my dear.” He paused, his eyes traveling over your features as you stared up at him, listening intently. “This was simply my only choice, darling. You were succumbing to the poison’s grip long before I finished your pain. Miss Evers...” He trailed off, his jaw clenching tightly. “Nevermind that. I came to a conclusion upon the authorities’ arrival, and that was that if I was damned to be put away I might as well flee with you, my queen... it was the only right option.” He smiled down at you softly.

You smiled right back at him, your love for him the only warmth left inside of you now that you no longer had your body to call home. You basked in the feeling of being close to him as he pulled you to his chest, his lips leaving a soft kiss against your scalp. Even if you didn’t feel warmth, simply the love you had for him was enough. He tenderly stroked your back, calming your nerves. It amazed you how he could ease your mind so easily, if only just a little. However, you couldn’t shake your thoughts away. Sure, you could just let it all go, but the truth of the matter was simple.

Your entire life had been a cycle. A cycle of undeniable foolishness; you’d been ignorant of the truth for all of your living years. Oh, how it angered you. You hated something truly for what seemed like the first time in your life. You hated yourself; you’d let yourself believe false truths just to live in an illusion that you thought was happiness. You were naïve. And ultimately, that was what had ended you.

You’d ignored all warnings and left the roses to wilt, betraying the one thing that had always been on your side. You’d ignored all threats and committed yourself to making paradise in the land of the evil; it was simply impossible. The Garden of Eden wasn’t a place for the living. It was a place of freedom, and so long as you’re living, you can never truly be free. For in life, one threat always remains: death. You could never truly be protected. You could never truly have paradise.

But with James, in the Cortez, in the paradise he’d created for you... even death didn’t stand a chance. It was a gateway to greatness; a place where nothing truly stood in your way, where no threats were great enough. You couldn’t be harmed, or imprisoned, or separated here; you were finally utterly invincible; real Gods. Hell and Earth were no longer a threat. It was your true paradise that James had promised you.

Your Garden of Eden.

---------

Series Masterlist: The Garden of Eden Series

Main Masterlist

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

Breakable Heaven (pt. IV) - p.l. dubois

part I part II part III

Oh my gosh, I seriously can’t believe this little series has come to an end. I’m so so happy with how it’s turned out, and want to thank anyone who’s stuck with Laurel and Pierre-Luc throughout this month. It’s one of my favorite things I’ve ever done, and it’s yours to enjoy now. Please please let me know what you think of this part, what you think about the series - getting anon comments is amazing, my inbox is always open, and I LOVE reading tags. Reblog if you like what I’m putting out, it helps me know that!

Warning: Smut (It’s light, but it’s there, so no one under 18 please!)

Part IV (7.8k)

September 23 (thurs)

Laurel was running through the Toronto airport, her carry-on bag bouncing on the tile behind her as she frantically searched for her gate. Thank God Air Canada domestic flew from the international terminal; her layover was only an hour and ten minutes and even more time had been shaved off by a departure delay in Montréal. She had forgotten that flights from Toronto cleared U.S. Customs in Canada, and if she hadn’t been able to skip the line and slap her American passport on a kiosk reader she would have almost certainly missed her connection. 

No matter how many times Laurel had tried to insist on an economy ticket when she and Pierre were booking flights for her visits, he refused to cave. “They don’t include a checked bag in economy, but they do if you fly business,” he had said, shrugging, with a small smile on his face. “Baggage fees alone would make it pretty much a wash.” Laurel doubted that, and she doubted that she’d need a checked bag for a four-day trip, but her husband had made it clear that he wasn’t budging. 

So needless to say, she was more than a little bit out of breath as she finally arrived at Gate F66, which was conveniently almost as far away from her arrival gate as humanly possible while still being in the same terminal. She handed her boarding pass and passport to the gate agent, smiling apologetically as she hurried down the jetbridge. It was barely past noon, but there was nothing in the world Laurel wanted more than to sleep. Maintaining a full-time schedule at the hospital while also trying to organize a trip to Columbus that lasted more than two days meant she had to switch shifts. Normally, that wouldn’t be an issue; that week, however, the only open slot was the 12-hour overnight shift on Wednesday. Which meant that she’d been awake for some twenty hours straight, but almost all of that had been on her feet at work, or walking from the parking lot to the check-in counter in Montréal, or running through the halls of Pearson Airport in Toronto. She took her seat, half-listened to the safety briefing, and passed out as soon as her head hit the headrest. 

Much to her chagrin, the flight itself was only just over an hour, and she was really only able to get in a generous nap before their descent into Ohio. Sitting in the second row, she exited the plane in record time, flicking her phone off of airplane mode and waiting for a text from Pierre-Luc. At least she didn’t have to go through TSA again. He wrote back in record time, letting her know he’d be in his car at the curb right outside the terminal. She waited at baggage claim, grabbing her forest green suitcase; the same one she had when she’d moved to Toronto for university, fresh-faced and 18 and so, so unaware of what the world had in store for her. If only she could see herself now. Laurel ran her thumb along the side handle for a moment, pulling at a loose thread, before hefting it onto the floor and turning towards the sliding exit doors. 

As promised, Pierre was waiting right outside the door, flashing her a bright smile and throwing the driver’s side door open as soon as he saw her. “Welcome to Columbus, babe!” he exclaimed, wrapping Laurel into a deep hug and kissing her on the cheek. 

She laughed as the trunk popped open, each of them grabbing a suitcase. “It’s a little bit funny, don’t you think? That I’ve lived in the Midwest for almost my whole life and the first time I go to Ohio it’s because I’m living in Canada?”

“Maybe just a little bit,” Pierre said, holding his thumb and pointer finger about an inch apart. “I’m really happy you were able to come, though, Laurel. I got used to having you around.” His face was softer now, looking over at Laurel with an expression that wasn’t quite placable but seemed like it was somehow communicating so much in a single glance. 

“Me too,” Laurel replied. The ride to Pierre’s Columbus apartment took just over ten minutes, and Laurel was in the door, petting the dogs, before the clock struck 3:00. 

Pierre approached her from behind, his hands on her shoulders as he leaned around to kiss her on the cheek. “You want to take a nap?” he asked. “We’ve got that thing with the team at 7, and I know you’re probably running on fumes right now.” 

Laurel nodded, giving him a weary smile, dropping her bag on the floor of the master bedroom with an all-too-satisfying thump. “Nap sounds good.” 

---

The nap was good, so good, and Laurel woke up at half past 6 feeling like she’d just had the best sleep of her life. She yawned, rubbing her eyes, and looked around the room to see Pierre with his back towards her, buttoning up his shirt. He turned around, catching her eye, and grinned. “You like the view?” he asked, gesturing to his half-naked torso. 

Laurel rolled her eyes, pulling the sheets up to poorly conceal her embarrassment at being caught. “And if I do?”

She heard a loud laugh, peeking her head out from under. “I’d say my wife has every right to appreciate it.” He walked around the bed while fastening the last few buttons, holding his hand out for Laurel to take. “I let you sleep as long as I could, but we’re going to have to get going in fifteen minutes or so. I was told that ‘we’ve waited this long to meet her, the least you could do is get your damn wife to the party in time,’” he said, adding air quotes for emphasis. 

Laurel nodded, tossing back the covers and walking over to her suitcase, intending to rifle through the stacks of clothes to find something for the night’s festivities. Instead, she was greeted by an empty bag. She wheeled around to look at Pierre, who was sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck as he stared at her suitcase. “I unpacked your stuff,” he said, nodding over towards the spare dresser. “It’s in there. I’m sorry if that seems weird and I won’t do it again if you feel like that was pushing your boundaries, but I know for me when I’m on roadies I like to unpack, even if it’s just one night. Makes it feel more like home.”

Laurel was too overcome with how sweet the gesture was, small as it may have been, to realize that that meant he had touched four days worth of bras and underwear. It shouldn’t have bothered him anyways, and if he hadn’t said anything about it, it clearly hadn’t. So instead, she pulled him into a warm hug, standing on her tiptoes to bury her face in the crook of his neck. “Thank you, P. One less thing I have to do.” 

“You do still have to actually get dressed, though,” he added, giving her sleepwear an appreciative once-over. “Unless you’re planning on wearing that.” 

She let out a giggle. “As much as I love wearing a massive Cloquet High Lumberjacks t-shirt and no pants, somehow I don’t think that’s the move,” she said, ambling over towards the dresser. She found the tops on the first try, pulling out a wine-colored wrap shirt and grabbing the same pair of light-wash jeans she had worn on the plane. Pierre moved to duck out of the room, presumably to give her privacy to change. Laurel made a split-second decision to call after him. “You don’t have to leave.” Pierre stopped in his tracks.

Laurel slipped the shirt on, tying it in the front, and fastened her jeans. Mascara on and booties zippered, and she was good to go. “So what is this thing, anyways?” she asked Pierre as they drove to Foligno’s house. 

Pierre tilted his head. “Little bit of this, little bit of that. Half the typical beginning-of-the-year preseason party, half the wedding reception we never had. They were very insistent on bringing gifts, so be prepared.”

“Will do,” she said, laughing. “And by they, you mean…”

“Some of the guys, but mostly the wives and girlfriends. Their parties are the stuff of legends, so you can imagine how excited everyone was when I told them we never had a proper reception.”

“But they don’t know why we didn’t have a proper party,” Laurel reminded him. 

“About that…” Pierre started, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. 

Laurel froze, her thumb hovering over her phone screen, halfway through composing a text to Kristen. “Pierre,” she swallowed, her voice deadly soft, “did you tell someone?”

---

It was the Saturday before, and the team had gone out to celebrate the end of the first week of training camp. Sunday was an off day, so Saturday night found all the over-21s — and anyone who could get a good enough fake — at a bar in the city. Pierre had just crossed the line into tipsy, and as his captain was about to find out, tipsy Pierre was an oversharer. It was common enough for families to be a topic of discussion on nights out or in the locker room; that wasn’t the issue. The issue was that, as the old adage goes, drunk words are sober thoughts. And, if he was being honest, Pierre was still harboring some guilt from having to hide the truth of his and Laurel’s marriage from everyone, Nick included. Pierre hated that he couldn’t tell Nick the truth. He was his captain and his friend, and he felt the least he owed to him was not to lie. 

“It’s just so weird being away from Laurel, away from Montréal, for this long,” Pierre sighed. 

“Sure,” Nick said sympathetically, “but you said you’d been friends for a few years, so you’ve had feelings for her for a while, no? It’s obviously not ideal, but you’ve been away from her for longer.” 

Pierre turned towards Nick, some of his beer — his fourth of the night — spilling out of the cup. “Can I tell you a secret?” 

Nick rolled his eyes, thinking he was going to be hearing some dumb high school confession, that he had asked out a senior girl when he was a freshman, or filled his QMJHL captain’s gloves with shaving cream or something. He didn’t expect what he heard next. 

“We got married so she could stay in the country, for her permanent residency. I never met her before June.” 

Nick sucked in a breath. “You’re not fucking with me, are you?” 

“Nope.” 

“You realize how much trouble you guys could get into if they figure out, right?” he asked. 

Pierre nodded, looking down at his clasped hands nervously. “We both do. But you’re not going to tell anyone, right?” 

“No, of course not,” Nick said. “I trust you, and I know you and Laurel were just doing what you thought was the best and most logical thing given the circumstances.” Pierre let out a somber nod. “But,” he continued, “I feel like this whole...situation just leaves open the opportunity for things to get really messy really quickly.” 

“Messy how?” Pierre asked. 

Nick shifted uncomfortably in his chair, looking at a spot just beyond Pierre’s head. He didn’t want to, not really, but it was his job as Pierre’s captain — more importantly as his friend  — to make him consider every angle. “Someone catching feelings, one of you falling for the other, or God forbid, someone else. There’s already so much at stake in a ‘normal’ marriage, but yours just has added complications.” Pierre felt a twinge in his heart. He didn’t want to admit it, he really didn’t want to admit it, but Nick was right. “Do you love her?” Nick asked softly. 

Pierre sunk back into his chair. “I don’t know. She means a lot to me, more than I ever thought she would, but I don’t know. Plus, I have no clue how she feels about me, and I wouldn’t want to say something like that only to have her pull away.” 

“Did you guys talk about that?” he asked. 

“About what?” Pierre responded. 

“About what would happen if one of you caught feelings. Because I’m assuming it was supposed to, is supposed to, be a strictly platonic thing.” 

Pierre shrugged. “Not really. We didn’t like make a pact or anything, if that’s what you’re asking. We really didn’t talk much about it at all,” he said, finishing his beer. “I mean, obviously we agreed that we wouldn’t be seeing anyone else, dating or hooking up or anything like that. It was just too risky. But no, we never really addressed how we’d deal with it if one of us ended up...falling for each other. I guess it was just supposed to be a ‘we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it’ type of thing.” 

“And have you come to it?” Nick asked. 

“I don’t know.”

---

Pierre finished the story, hazarding a glance over to Laurel, who was wringing her hands as she looked out the windshield. “I’m not mad at you,” she said finally. “If Nick said he wouldn’t tell, I trust you when you say he won’t. One of us was bound to let it slip eventually.” 

He turned his eyes back towards the road, still feeling a pang of regret. She was almost being too good to him. “We’ll be okay,” he said, saying it just as much to himself as he did to her. 

Laurel gave him a small smile as they pulled into the Foligno’s house, parking on the stone-paved driveway. “We will be.”

Janelle opened the door practically the second after they knocked, greeting Pierre and Laurel with warm hugs. “Laurel, it’s so wonderful to finally meet you,” she said, squeezing her hand. “We know how hard it is to find the time off and make the trip down, and everyone’s excited to see you.” She led them through the entryway to the living room, where Laurel was passed around to some twenty-odd players and their partners, where she introduced herself over and over again as “Pierre’s wife, yes the nurse from Minnesota who none of you knew existed.” 

Dinner was a barbeque outside, Nick, Pierre, and some of the others manning the three grills as Laurel helped set up the drinks table. He held her hand under the table as they ate, his thumb gently rubbing across her thigh every so often in reassurance. “You good?” he murmured in his ear as Laurel sipped a beer, half-listening to some story Korpi was telling about a near-miss incident with a water ski back in Finland during the summer. 

Laurel nodded, squeezing his fingers. “I’m good.”

Plates were cleared, dishes were washed, and everyone was herded into Nick and Janelle’s enormous family room, where a small mountain of wrapped boxes and bags sat in the far corner. “I don’t know if you know this,” Janelle said conspiratorially as Laurel sat down, “but NHLers make more than a little money.” 

She laughed. “So I’ve been told.”

“Which means that, clueless though they may be, you’re going to be getting some very nice presents.” 

And very nice presents they were. A wine club membership, a set of dutch ovens from Seth — “It was my mom’s suggestion”  — Jones, an espresso machine from Boone, a set of matching, personalized dog bowls for Phil, Georgia, and Piper. Laurel honestly wasn’t sure how it was all going to fit in the car, let alone how she was going to manage to stay under the baggage limit on her way back to Canada, but the thought and kindness that went into each gift was what really made it special. 

“From me and the other girls,” Janelle said, passing Laurel a bag. 

“Oh, this is too much,” Laurel said. “You already got the knives and the mixer, I don’t need anything else.”

Cam’s wife, Natalie, shrugged. “Would it help if we made it, didn’t buy it?”

Laurel’s brow furrowed in confusion, her fingers moving to undo the ribbon that tied the handles together, taking out the tissue paper. “Oh!” she gasped quietly as she pulled out a denim jacket, a Blue Jackets logo ironed onto the back, Dubois embroidered where a name bar would be. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“You’re still a part of the family,” Natalie said, smiling. “Even if you’re not here all the time. We want you to feel as included as anyone else.”  

Laurel folded up the jacket carefully, tucking it back in the bag as Josh walked up to Pierre, holding out a small box, clearly wrapped by himself. “Well now I just feel silly.”

Pierre shook his head, smiling at his friend. “Don’t, Josh. I’m sure we’ll love it.” He thumbed open the folds on the wrapping paper, setting it aside before pulling off the top of the box. He fell silent. 

Laurel peeked over, trying to catch a glimpse of the box’s contents. “What is it, P?”

Instead of answering, Pierre just held the box upside-down. Condoms of all colors and sizes rained down onto the hardwood floor as Pierre stared at Josh, clearly trying very hard not to laugh. The side of his mouth twitched. “Interesting choice of gift, you don’t think?” he asked.

Josh shrugged helplessly, his cheeks red. “It’s practical?”

 November 28 (sun)

 Laurel caught every Blue Jackets game she could on the TV, even the ones in early November when Pierre was out for a few games with a mild concussion. She was his wife, but she was also a nurse, and made sure to get daily updates on his condition, restraining herself from FaceTiming him to help limit his amount of daily screen time. But he had been back for a few weeks, making second star of the night with a goal and an assist, so naturally he was pulled away for a few postgame interviews. 

Laurel watched the screen, trying not to get distracted by the sweat drenching his Underarmour. Reporters, the good ones at least, were usually considerate with steering clear of asking personal questions, but sometimes an injury, or the birth of a child, or, as luck would have it, a wedding, begged an answer. “So, Pierre, I think a lot of us were surprised to see you announce on Instagram that you had gotten married this summer. Congratulations, by the way,” the journalist from the Dispatch said. 

“Thanks,” Pierre replied, smiling. 

“And I hope I speak for everyone here when saying that we entirely respect you and your wife’s decision to keep things quiet and announce it in a much more subdued fashion than usual. Players often speak a lot about how integral support from family and friends is, and just how important it is to have that kind of a support system in place.” Pierre could see where the question was going. “Obviously you’ve got the boys down here, but it doesn’t look like your wife Laurel is based in Columbus like you are. Is there a reason for that, and do you think that’s affected your game?” 

Pierre sucked in a breath; it was a fair question, and a reasonable assumption to make, but that didn’t mean he liked answering it any more. But it was almost suspicious how quickly he had an answer. “Uh, yeah, it’s been interesting for us to have to navigate. You’re right, Laurel’s back in Montréal, she spends most of her time at our place in the city. She’s a nurse in the intensive care unit of CHU Saint-Justine, so she does pediatrics there. She loves what she does, and she’s so good at it, and it just wouldn’t be right of me to ever ask or expect her to leave on my account. I know we’ve got a great hospital at Nationwide Children’s, but she loves where she is. We both do. So yeah, it’s rough being away sometimes, but luckily she’s able to move shifts around and make it down twice a month or so when we’re not on the road. But we keep in contact daily, obviously, and I’m able to lean on the guys, especially the other married ones, on how to deal with the stress of being away for so long. But it’s rough. I miss my wife,” Pierre finished. 

Laurel clicked the remote, turning the TV off, her hand scratching behind Piper’s ears, and tried not to replay his words in her mind as she crawled into bed and fell asleep. 

 December 18 (sat)

 Laurel stumbled through the door of Pierre’s Columbus apartment, laughing breathlessly as she tried to lock the deadbolt. “You need some help there, L?” Pierre asked, raising one eyebrow. 

“I’m good,” Laurel said, taking two more tries before it would actually lock. The eggnog from the Christmas party was starting to take its toll; Pierre had agreed to be the pair’s designated driver for the night, so she had had maybe a glass too many. The night had genuinely been so much fun, Laurel had initially been worried at how well she might fit in with the group in a more casual situation. As much as she loved being able to hang out with the team and the other WAGs when she was in Ohio — and she did — she couldn’t help but be nervous that she didn’t have the same level of camaraderie that could help turn a night from good to great. Laurel couldn’t have been happier to be wrong. She was embraced from the moment she walked in the door, a glass of wine pushed into her hand and her Secret Santa gift deposited on the entryway table. 

Laurel used to always roll her eyes at the idea that “time flies when you’re having fun,” but that couldn’t have been more true for the party. It seemed like only minutes had passed, but suddenly it was almost midnight, and the couples with kids had to head home to relieve the babysitters, and Laurel and Pierre were headed home. 

“Let’s get some water in you, no?” Pierre murmured, walking to the kitchen and opening the cupboard. 

“Thanks,” Laurel said softly as she took the glass from him, kicking off her shoes and tucking her feet under her on the couch. 

Pierre perched on the arm, absentmindedly playing with his watch. But while a tipsy Pierre was an oversharer, a tipsy Laurel was always emotional in one fashion or another. “How’d you like the party?”

“It was great,” Laurel said. “I’m not sure why Alexandre thought I’d be into a Blue Jackets scarf, but I guess it’s the thought that counts?” She pulled the offending object out of her bag, running her fingers through the fringe on the edge. “Seeing how amazing so many of those couples are, Janelle and Nick especially, it was awesome…” She trailed off. “But it was hard.”

His brow furrowed. Why would it be hard? “How so?”

“I always thought that, when I got married, it would be once and that was it.” She screwed her eyes shut. “And that’s not to mean I’m not grateful for what you’ve done, it’s so incredible and goes so far beyond just plain kindness. I just thought it would be a forever thing.”

Pierre’s heart dropped. Of course she’d feel like that. If marriage was something she wanted to take that seriously, how could she not feel like she was cheapening its meaning by treating it as nothing more than an arrangement of convenience? It wasn’t even like he felt any differently; hockey was obviously still his first priority most of the time, but he’d always seen himself as someone who wanted to settle down and have a family one day. He guessed that he just hadn’t let himself think about it. “Laurel,” he said quietly, reaching out to her. But she wasn’t done. 

“It’s just,” Laurel sighed, one hand tugging on her hair, tears threatening to escape her eyes, “knowing this is all temporary. Knowing that in a couple of y-years, when I g-get my citizenship and we get d-divorced, this is all going to end,” she said, hiccuping through her words. “I won’t be able to come to your Christmas parties and fly down for games and sit up in the WAG box with my friends and that jacket and a jersey with your name on it. I won’t be able to do any of that any more because it wasn’t real, it wasn’t ever real, and that fucking kills me inside, P.” Laurel sat on the corner of the couch, a spot as precarious as the words tumbling out of her mouth. 

“Why?” Pierre asked, even though if he was honest, he’d stake his career on the belief that he already knew the answer. “Why would it hurt so bad?” His voice was so quiet that if Laurel hadn’t been sitting two feet away, she wouldn’t have heard. 

“Because I’m fucking in love with you,” she whispered. “And that’s the single most terrifying sentence I’ve ever said in my life.” Even though Pierre somehow knew that’s what she was going to say all along, it didn’t stop her words from stealing the breath out of his lungs. Laurel looked up at him through her tears, her eyes beginning to redden. “Say something, please, P.”

Pierre knelt in front of her, his thumb resting gently on her cheek, wiping away her tears. “God, Laur, how could I not be in love with you?” She blinked rapidly at him, trying to process the words that were coming out of his mouth. “I wasn’t lying when I said you were one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. You’re so caring, not just for me, but for everyone in your life. You’d give a stranger the shirt off of your back. You’re probably the smartest person I know, way smarter than me.” A giggle escaped Laurel’s mouth. “The dedication you show to everything in your life is amazing. At your job, you treat every patient like they were your own sibling or your own child. You make the trip down to Columbus once a month, twice a month. That’s not easy, all the flight time and having to leave Piper and switching shifts around so we can see each other. You’re gorgeous, not just on the outside — though you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen — but the light in your eyes when you talk about a new book you read, or how happy you look when you let me taste a new recipe you’re trying, or how passionate you get when you see something wrong and know there’s something you need to do to change it. So what if we’re doing things a little backwards? First comes marriage, then comes love.” He leaned his forehead against hers. “I fell in love with you awhile ago. I think it just took me a second to realize it.”

 January 26 (wed)

 Laurel thought the distance and space between them would be easier now that she knew how he felt, now that they both knew how they felt. She couldn’t have been more wrong. So the All-Star break, and the Blue Jackets’ bye week, couldn’t have come at a better time. Pierre had made plans for the break a few months earlier, but after everything that happened over Christmas, it didn’t seem right to ditch Laurel for a boy’s trip with Alexandre and Seth. So Hilton Head was traded in for Saint Lucia, and his teammates were traded in for his wife. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Laurel was using three of her paid vacation days and Pierre was able to make the schedule work just right to get five nights in the Carribean. “A belated honeymoon, if you will,” he had said, cracking a grin over FaceTime as they booked the flights. The flight from Columbus was much less straightforward than hers from Montréal, but by a chance airline scheduling his first layover was in Toronto. Laurel met him at the gate, hauling her own green suitcase behind her as he flung his arms around her, kissing her with everything he had in him. They may have missed the not-so-subtle fans taking pictures that later circulated around Twitter that may or may not have led to some grade A chirping in the team’s group chat. But Pierre didn’t care. He cared that for a few days, he could forget about the stress of hockey and trying to make a playoff run and all the rumors floating around and just be with his wife. And, Pierre thought as they walked through the airport door into the Carribean sun, there really wasn’t anything else he wanted. 

They hailed a taxi, the twenty minute drive to their resort rushing by in a blur of palm trees and seas so blue Laurel thought she could fall into them just by looking. Pierre jogged into the main office to check them in, coming back with their key cards before the taxi continued on its way, dropping them off in front of their villa. Laurel spun slowly as they got out of the car, smiling up at the sky as Pierre pressed a few bills into the taxi driver’s hand with a nod of thanks. “You okay there?” he asked with a grin. 

“It’s so warm,” Laurel said in wonderment. Even in January, the weather in Saint Lucia hovered in the mid-70s, a far cry from the twenties and teens of a Montréal winter. Laurel was no stranger to the cold — Cloquet had seen temperatures pushing thirty below when Laurel was in high school — but the idea that she could be somewhere and wear shorts while it was snowing in her hometown was a concept so novel she hadn’t quite grasped it yet. 

He nodded, looking at Laurel with a gaze so soft she thought her heart would maybe burst. “We’re in the Caribbean, L. It’s warm all the time.” 

She rolled her eyes, bending over to get her suitcase, but not before Pierre snatched it up himself, holding the key card between two fingers. “Are you going to just stand there, or do you want to check out our honeymoon suite?” Laurel’s words dripped with suggestiveness, her sandal-clad feet dragging their way up the path to the villa with tantalizing languor. 

“Coming.” 

Even after the six months of their marriage, and even after everything that happened over the holidays, they hadn’t had sex. They’d gotten close a few times, both on her trip in December and in ones since, but never managed to go all the way. First Laurel needed a new birth control prescription — the last thing she would do would be have sex without being extra safe about it — and then she was too tired after a night out, and another time Pierre had scored a hat trick and they had partied way too hard to even think about sex. So needless to say, it had been a while for Laurel since she’d gotten release by any hands other than her own, and even longer for Pierre. And it certainly wasn’t because she didn’t want to. Laurel was well aware that her husband was hot as fuck, and she’d be lying if some of her lonelier nights weren’t filled with thoughts of exactly what she wanted him to do to her. But it felt different than any of her other relationships. Obviously, it felt different, she hadn’t been married to Oliver or Ryan or Carter. And that didn’t mean she wasn’t invested in those, but just that the stakes were so much higher and she had fallen so much harder for Pierre than she ever thought imaginable. She didn’t want to have sex with him until she was sure. Sure that it was going somewhere, sure that it would last, sure that he loved her in the same way that made her heart ache every time he dropped her off at Columbus International Airport. 

---

By the time they had unpacked, eaten, and gotten a few rum punches in their system, it was well past 7 and the sun had long since set. Laurel peeked out the door onto their balcony, nodding at the private plunge pool. “We’ve got quite the setup here.”

She walked over to the dresser, grabbing a swimsuit out and crossing over to the bathroom, her hand hovering over the knob. “Just something to think about.” Pierre put his swim trunks on in record time. Laurel padded out of the bathroom, the top straps of her bikini dangling, the swell of her breasts peeking above the cups. “Do me up?” she asked. 

Pierre’s fingers brushed the baby hairs at the base of her neck as he tied the straps of her white-hot bikini. “Sure you don’t want to go out to the beach?” 

Their villa came with a stretch of beachfront, and it seemed like such a shame to let it go to waste. Laurel shook her head, a smile playing on the edge of her lips. “We’ve got a couple of days to enjoy the beach. I’d like to stay somewhere a little more...secluded.” She bit her lip as she opened the door to the balcony, dipping her toes in the pool and sighing at the warmth of the water. Laurel looked back at Pierre, one eyebrow raised. “You coming?” Pierre couldn’t follow fast enough. 

They stayed in the water for a while, lazily kissing and staring at the stars and sipping drinks that had lost their potency hours ago, but neither of them really cared much. Sometime during the night, Laurel had made her way onto Pierre’s lap, where she reached over to the balcony, lofting herself out of the pool and wrapping a scarf around her body. “Getting a little cold,” she said, bending down and giving him a soft kisss. She walked into the room, drying herself off; he followed. Laurel threw the towel over a chair in the corner of the room, walking over towards Pierre, stopping when their noses were almost touching.

Laurel’s wrap fell from her shoulders, pooling on the wood floor. Pierre’s hand skated up her arm to rest on her cheek. He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. She stood on her tiptoes as her left hand tangled in his hair, her right pressed against the back of his neck. She whimpered into his mouth; it took everything in Pierre’s power to keep the blood from rushing south. The kiss got more frantic, tongue and teeth clashing against each other as he walked her back to the bed. The back of her knees bumped up against the edge. 

Pierre pulled away slightly, letting out a moan as he saw Laurel’s face. Her lips were puffy from kissing, her chest heaving with the force of her breath, and her wild hair had long since been taken out of its ponytail. In other words, Pierre was convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that Laurel, in that moment, was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. “You sure you want to do this?” Pierre murmured. He wanted to. God, he wanted to. But he’d never do anything without making sure that she was absolutely comfortable. Laurel nodded, biting her lip. “I need to hear you say it, babe,” Pierre said, taking a step forward, their noses almost touching. 

“I want you to ruin me.”

Pierre audibly groaned, capturing her lips in his before throwing her back on the bed, his hand moving to her back to undo the tie of her bikini top as his lips trailed down her neck. He threw the top off to one side, paying exactly zero attention to where it landed, as his hands slid up her waist to cup her breasts, his thumbs ghosting over her sensitive nipples. Laurel’s breath hitched in her throat. “You like that, baby?”

“Mhm,” Laurel whimpered, unable to form a complete sentence. 

He smirked, lowering his mouth to her chest, flicking his tongue over her right nipple as his hand pinched her left. The air was filled with breathless sighs from them both until Pierre’s hands left her breasts. Laurel whined in protest until she felt his fingers toying with her bikini bottoms, his head lifting just enough so that his eyes could meet hers. “This okay?”

It was all Laurel could do to choke out a single word. “Please.”

Pierre pulled them down her legs, kissing down, down to her hips, down to her inner thighs, down to everywhere except for where she needed him. “You need something, Laurel?” Pierre asked, his voice dripping with sex. 

Laurel groaned, not wanting to give in but also knowing that Pierre could stay where he was for hours if it meant teasing her. “Your mouth.” 

“As you wish.” And then his tongue was on her, and in her, and she couldn’t help but let out a moan. And Pierre was loving every second of it. He stayed down there for a while, long enough to finish her twice. 

Laurel pushed on his shoulder, trying to get him to turn on his back so she could return the favor. Pierre shook his head as he shucked his shorts off, pulling her head down to kiss her roughly. “I’m going to cum right here if I don’t get inside you in the next two minutes, babe.” He reached over to the nightstand, grabbing a condom. “Guess I’ll have to thank Josh for these when we get back home.”

She raised one eyebrow, clearly unamused. “If you do that, I can promise you I’ll never put your dick in my mouth. Not now, not ever.”

Pierre held his hands up in surrender, the foil packet shining between two fingers. “Alright, alright. I won’t.” He paused just before bringing the wrapper up to his teeth. “You want this?”

Laurel nodded frantically as he rolled the condom down his length. He looked so hard it was painful. “So bad.” He leaned down to kiss her, propped up on one arm as he pushed into her, hair falling into his face as he closed his eyes. He was too blissed out to be able to focus on anything other than how good she felt around him, how tight and warm and how well she fit, like Laurel Elizabeth Klerken was made for him and him alone. 

“More,” Laurel cried softly, and that was all it took for Pierre to grab one of her legs, throwing it around his hips as he increased his pace, head dropping to her neck as he nipped at her pulse points. It didn’t take long for Pierre to reach his high, Laurel right behind him. He pressed a sweet kiss to her forehead before getting up from the bed, going into the bathroom to tie off the condom and grab a washcloth. He cleaned up between her legs as Laurel lay there, trying to steady her breathing, absolutely spent from the night’s three orgasms. “Why didn’t we do that earlier?” Laurel murmured. 

Pierre laughed, throwing the cloth in the laundry basket and tilting down to press a kiss to the crown of her head. “I don’t know. But it was worth it.”

 February 20 (mon)

 Laurel had learned early on in her relationship with Pierre that she couldn’t put much stock into what was said on Twitter. Or Instagram, or any social media for that matter. So much was speculation: about draft picks, about trade rumors, about Pierre-Luc Dubois’ secret wife, that it just wasn’t useful or healthy for her so spend much time looking around. She still had her accounts, but Instagram was the only one she went on with any regularity nowadays. And she rarely checked her phone during the work day anyways; unless it was an unusually slow day  — which was never a good sign in the medical world — the only time she was even able to spare a glance was during her lunch break or when she’d run to the bathroom. So when her phone buzzed with a text from Pierre as she sat at the nurses’ station, her brow furrowed as she unlocked the screen. 

Are you free right now? I need to call you. 

Laurel bit her lip, nerves threatening to boil over. He knew her schedule, he knew she was at work. What could be so important that it couldn’t wait? Are you okay? Did something happen?

He typed a response as soon as her text showed as delivered.  I’m not hurt, it’s not bad, really, I just need to tell you something and I don’t want to have to do it over text. 

Laurel checked her watch. 11:18. It was early for a lunch break, but as long as she wasn’t needed, she could take her half hour any time between 11 and 1. She caught the eye of her charge nurse. “Claudette? I’m taking my lunch if that’s alright with you.” Claudette nodded, and Laurel quickly made her way to the locker room to grab her leftover pasta, texting Pierre on the way. Headed to the changing room now. Are you going to tell me what this is about?

Her phone rang a minute later, when she had just closed the door. She tapped the green button. “You’re going to have to tell me what’s going on here, P, because I’m kind of freaking out,” Laurel said, laughing nervously. “You don’t tell a girl what to expect, she starts assuming the worst.”

Pierre let out a heavy breath. She could imagine him running a hand through his hair on the other end. “I know, and I’m sorry if I worried you. I just needed to tell you before it breaks.”

“Before what breaks, Pierre?” Laurel’s anxiety was coming to a head. 

“I’m coming home.”

Laurel screwed her eyes shut, even more confused than she was before. “Yeah, Pierre, I know you’re playing here next week. Why would that be news?” 

“When’s the trade deadline, Laurel?”

“Last Monday in February, but I don’t see what that has…” She pulled the phone away from her ear, looking down at the screen, eyes locking on the date. “You got traded?” 

She could imagine him sitting down on the edge of his couch, one hand dangling off the side, Georgia trying to jump up and goad him into giving her a pet or two. “They’re breaking it right before the noon deadline, but you deserved to know before everyone else did. You needed to know.”

Laurel leaned up against her locker, hand over her mouth. “You’re coming to Montréal?” She had seen it mentioned offhand on a few Twitter accounts she followed the handful of times she had logged on in the past week, but nobody thought it would actually happen. Even the concept of trading him seemed so far-fetched with the type of season he was having in Columbus. He was sitting near 30 goals and 40 assists, with one of the best plus-minus scores on the team. It just didn’t make sense. 

“As of twenty minutes ago, I’m officially a Montréal Canadien,” Pierre answered. 

“Oh God,” Laurel said, sympathy lacing her voice. She couldn’t let herself be excited, wouldn’t let herself be excited, until she knew exactly how Pierre felt about it. He had just been uprooted from the team that drafted him, where he’d played for four seasons and made friends and where everyone saw him as the future of the franchise. 

Pierre let out a single laugh. “They let me know what the deal was, apparently Montréal really wanted me. First round pick next year, a second-year defenseman, some prospect from Laval.”

Laurel settled on the bench, tucking the phone under her chin. “Of course they really wanted you, P. You’re an incredible player, you’d be an asset to any team and you’re going to do great things in Montréal.” She paused. “But how are you feeling about the move? I know it’s not what you were expecting. Or what anyone was expecting, really.”

“It’s weird,” Pierre said after a moment. “Obviously yeah, I won’t lie, it’s a shock. But almost every player, even the really good ones, get traded at one point or another. Gretzky was traded to L.A.”

“Are you comparing yourself to Gretzky?” Laurel asked playfully. 

“No,” Pierre chuckled. “But just trying to remind myself that it was almost inevitable. I’m allowed to be sad about it — and I am, it’s going to fucking suck leaving the boys — but I’m not as torn up as I thought I’d be if this ever happened.” He felt more than a little bad about it, but his first thought when his agent called and broke the news wasn’t sadness, it wasn’t despair at having to leave the team he had been brought up in and the men he considered his brothers. It was relief. Relief that he could be closer to his family, relief that he’d be back with Laurel, relief that he was going home. “And hey,” he said, catching Laurel’s attention. “You know what?”

Laurel rolled her eyes. “What?”

“I don’t even have to marry someone to move.”

---

Pierre’s flight got in late Tuesday night, just after Laurel’s shift at the hospital had ended. He had said he wouldn’t mind taking an Uber home so she didn’t have to rush over and stress about traffic, but Laurel didn’t care. She wanted to be at the airport to pick up her husband, even if it meant she’d still be in her scrubs doing it. 

She saw him exiting the sliding doors of the international terminal before she even turned the corner, practically slamming her car into park as soon as she hit the curb. Pierre dropped his bags when her car door opened, paying no attention to the thump of the suitcases as they hit the ground or the wandering eyes of passersby. Airports hadn’t always been his favorite place. They meant leaving the people he loved, going away from what was warm and familiar and safe. They usually meant uncertainty. But that had changed, Pierre thought, as his wife jumped into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist as their lips met. Airports might just have become one of his favorite places. He pulled back from the kiss, their foreheads just barely touching. “Hi,” he said. 

Laurel smiled, the kind of smile that lit up rooms and made crying babies giggle and that Pierre was pretty sure was his favorite thing he’d ever seen in the world. “Welcome home.”

[keigos-dove]

Fallen Angel

✎ A/N: Being the crackhead I am I wrote this to celebrate 666 followers. This is the longest fic I’ve written yet and I’m honestly so proud it came out as wonderful as it did. I hope you enjoy it. 

✎ Paring: Keigo Takami (Hawks) x G/N!Reader

✎ ⚠️Warnings: Angst, mentions of blood, hospital experiences, swearing

✎ Word Count: 2,555

✎ Synopsis: A fight between Hawks, Dabi, and you turn for the worst. Hawks and you being hospitalized, you both discover your future will be different from then on. But maybe it’s a good different.

✎ |Tags:| @secondhand-trash​ @sparkncharge​ @redbeanteax​ @adoringwords​ @lady-bakuhoe​ @keigos-wings​

Heroes were given dangerous missions all the time. Most of them came out successful. There were also the few who failed those missions, and died, or got seriously injured. This mission given to Keigo and yourself was one of those missions.

You were both in for the final ride.

Gaining information about the LoV wasn’t the most ideal mission, but it’s not like the two of you could reject it. You both were forced to be heroes. You had no say.

Today you both had a meeting with Dabi, Shigaraki’s right-hand man. Dabi wanted to meet both of you one more time before you both meet the rest of the League, and Sigaraki himself.

You both were currently flying to the location sent by Dabi, your only instructions were to meet him there and a given time.

Silence was the only thing between Hawks and yourself at this moment. This meeting could go many different ways.

“Nervous, Little Dove?” asked Hawks, your business partner, and boyfriend.

“A little bit. I’m just hoping this goes smoothly.” you chuckle nervously.

“Hey, this is just a meeting. We’ll be fine. The important stuff doesn’t happen until Dabi says so.” he said.

“You sure?” you asked.

“Positive, Little Dove. Now,” he started. “That’s the location right there.”

Keigo started flying towards the coordinates. It was a building. An abandoned factory in a quiet part of the city. It was dark out, and the streets around were empty.

Finally, the two of you were safely on the ground. Keigo placed you down on the ground and let you stretch.

“This place gives me bad vibes. What do you think, Pretty Bird?” you ask

“It’s quiet, abandoned, concealed. Perfect for a villain to hide.” Hawks analyzed.

“Doesn’t answer my question, Bird Brain.” you chuckle quietly.

“Yes,” he giggles. “It does seem suspicious.”

Keigo walks over to the door of the factory and opens it, keeping it open long enough for you to walk inside as well.

“Ready for this?” he asks

“As I’ll ever be,” you answer. “When should Dabi be here again?”

“Any time now, Little Dove. Just gotta be-”

“Well, well, well. Look who the cat dragged in. A bird and a baby.” Dabi’s voice echoed throughout the factory.

You bit your tongue. You did not need to start a fight when you were this close.

“Well hello to you too, Dabi.” Hawks answered. “What’s the plan for today?”

“Talking,” Dabi replied vaguely.

“About?” you ask.

“Well, if you want me to be honest, I want to talk about you for a bit,” Dabi says, pointing at you. Dabi comes out of the shadows and starts circling you and Hawks. Just like a predator with its prey.

You looked over to Hawks confused. He quirked an eyebrow and shrugged.

“Me?” you ask. “Why me?”

“Why are you even here? I mean I know you’re with him,” Dabi says pointing to Hawks. “But what purpose do you serve? He’s done all the work here, you’re just a tag along.”

You think, trying to choose your words carefully. “I’m not a tag along. I want to be here just as much as he does.”

“Are they a tag along? A burden? Do they really help you?” Dabi asks Hawks, completely ignoring you now.

You roll your eyes. Is this all he wanted today? To question your loyalty?

No matter what you knew you had to stand your ground. There’s no way you’re leaving Keigo to deal with him, with Dabi, alone. You just couldn’t do it.

Your eyes stayed on Keigo. No matter what he was most important. You couldn’t let Dabi get a hold of him no matter what.

“They’ve put just as much work in as me.” Hawks answers honestly. “Why does any of this matter?” he asks, his usual smirk disappearing.

Oh shit. He was serious.

“I have a reason to believe that they’re a traitor. A liar.” Dabi says continuing his cycle around the two of you.

At this current moment, he was behind you. And you still kept your eyes on Keigo. You kept your mouth shut, deciding to let Keigo handle this for now. After all, he was much better with people than you were.

“They’re no traitor. They’ve helped with everything we’ve done so far. You saw the blood on their hands. The blood of a hero.” Hawks said.

“There’s acting, lying, deceiving. Ever heard of those?” Dabi asks. He was closer to you now. Like he was right behind you. You heard his voice ringing in your ears, felt the heat of his quirk radiate off his body.

And still, you looked at Keigo.

Keigo couldn’t even speak. Dabi was too fast for him. Too fast for Hawks, the fastest man alive.

Dabi, quick in reflex, grabbed your arm and twisted it behind your back, keeping you in place.

Snap.

A silent scream left your lips. Pain shot through your arm and up your spine.

“Dabi, let-”

“What Little Bird? I’m not shitting around with this. I don’t care how much you trust them, they’re lying.”

Your shoulder throbbed, tears made their way down your cheeks.

You were in pain and right now Keigo couldn’t help you. His first instinct is always to hold you in his arms and wrap you in his wings if you were ever injured during a fight.

You looked at Keigo, tears clouding your vision. He was scared, he knew Dabi had the upper hand at this moment. And for once, Keigo looked clueless as to what to do.

“Admit it,” Dabi breathed in your ear. “You’re a liar, a traitor.”

“You’re a stupid bastard if you think I’m the liar here.” you spat through gritted teeth.

“Dabi let them go,” Hawks said, his voice shaking. “They’ve done nothing wrong.”

Keigo shot you a glance.

Right now Dabi had his focus on Hawks. Dabi’s grip wasn’t as strong now. Seeing as you’re injured there’s no way you could fight, right?

Wrong.

Keigo shot you another glance.

Now.

You took your uninjured arm and swung backward, hitting Dabi square in the jaw, so hard you’re sure you heard a snap.

You fell to the ground, quickly you started to crawl to Keigo for safety.

But Dabi was one step quicker yet again.

Dabi fisted your hair in his hands and pulled you up off the ground.

“Hawks!” you shouted.

“I got ya, H/N,” Keigo shouted back, running for you.

“No,” Dabi says, his voice dark. “You don’t have them, Pretty Bird.”

Dabi then pulled you back down to the ground. Making sure your head collided with the ground.

Black filled your vision. Ringing filled your ears. Blood rushed to your head.

You heard a scream, but you knew it wasn’t your own.

Then it was silent.

Then you were out cold.

Walking up, pain and exhaustion hits your body like a truck. You look around the bright white-colored room.

You’re in a hospital room. So that means the fight ended. How long, obviously you didn’t know.

It was daytime. The long curtain blades covered the windows but light seeped through the cracks, casting shadows on the blue and white checkered tiled floor. There was an IV in your left arm, connected to a machine by the side of your bed. Other machines and tools sat beside your bed as well. The only thing you could hear was the beeping of the heart monitor.

A creaking sound filled the room, then a click. Stepping out from around the corner was what you assumed to be a nurse.

“Why hello, dear,” she said gently. “It’s good to see that you’re finally awake. How do you feel.”

“Lightheaded. I’m in a lot of pain too.”

“The lightheadedness is most likely the concussion you have. The pain, which I assume is in your arm and chest, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“You broke your right arm in three different places. You also broke a few ribs. That’s probably the pain and pressure that you feel.”

“Oh, how fun,” you say sarcastically.

The nurse stayed silent for a bit. Checking the machines and writing things down on the clipboard she had in hand.

“I’ll most likely end up upping your medicine dosage, I’ll ask the doctor to make sure,” the nurse said quietly to herself.

Your mind started to wander once the nurse started doing her own thing.

Dabi really did a number on you. You don’t remember any injuries to your head or your ribs, so Dabi must have gotten a hold of you again after you passed out. Your mind eventually drifts to Keigo.

Keigo.

What happened to Keigo after you passed out?

“Keigo!” you shouted, quickly sitting up, trying to look for him. You winced suddenly, it got harder to breathe and more pain shot throughout your chest.

The nurse pushed you back against the bed. “Don’t just up so quickly like that, you’ll end up hurting yourself more. Who are you even talking about?”

“Hawks,” you breathe heavily. “He was with me at the accident. Where is he? Is he okay? Please tell me he’s alive!”

“Calm down, sweetheart. Hawks is fine. He’s resting in the room right across the hall. A few injuries as well as some burns, but he’ll be okay.”

A weight was lifted off of your chest and shoulders, but pain and pressure still stayed. You were relieved to know that he was still alive, but you felt as though the nurse was hiding something.

“Is he awake?” you ask. “I want to see him.”

“He’s asleep, sweetheart. You rest for a bit. I’ll let you see him later, okay?”

“Promise?” you ask. You probably sounded like a child, but you didn’t really care. You were way too worried about Keigo to care.

“I promise. Now relax, maybe take a nap.” the nurse suggested. And with that, she left the room. Probably to talk to the doctor like she mentioned.

You don’t really know when, but eventually, you fell back asleep.

When you woke up again, the sun was still out. But the light shining on the checkered tiles was dimmer, so you assumed it was early or late afternoon. Luckily you didn’t feel any pain this time around, so hopefully, the meds finally decided to kick in. The only thing you did feel was a slight throbbing in your head.

The nurse from before was at your bedside checking the monitors again. Sitting behind her was a wheelchair.

“Welcome back, sweetheart. How do you feel?” she asks with a smile on her face.

“There’s no pain which is good, I guess. I only feel a throb in my head.”

“That’s good. It’s progress.”

“Can I see Hawks now? You promised,” you said in a whiny voice.

“Seeing as you’re feeling a bit better, I’ll allow it. I did promise after all.”

The nurse pulled the wheelchair closer to the bed. She helped you sit up, and threw the blankets off your body. A heavyweight pushed down on your chest. Your lungs started burning, it got harder to breathe.

“Deep, slow breaths. It will feel a bit better soon. Just got to get used to sitting up.”

You started taking deeper breaths. The burning started going away and the weight started pulling away. But it didn’t go away entirely. You swung your legs over the side of the bed and held onto the nurse’s shoulder with your good arm and pushed off the bed. The nurse spun you around and sat you down gently onto the seat. She took your IV bag off the rack and placed it on the hook on the back of the chair.

“How do you feel? Good?”

“Yeah, a little lightheaded but I’m okay.”

“That’s normal. You just have to get used to sitting up,” the nurse said. “Think you can wheel yourself over?”

“With one arm? I think so.”

“Your arm is actually all better. Recovery Girl came by while you were sleeping and healed it. She couldn’t fix your ribs though.”

“If my arm is okay I should be able to go about myself, thank you.”

“No problem, sweetheart. I’ll leave the doors open for you.”

She started to walk out of the room and opened both doors, just like she said. And set off to another room. To help another patient most likely.

You wheeled your way across the hall to Keigo’s room. Making your way in, you see the curtains closed, allowing little light to come in. Keigo was sitting up in bed slightly. He was asleep, or so you thought, his eyes were closed but you couldn’t really tell from the doorway. He had bandages wrapped around several parts of his body. Some were clean, others stained with blood. Many machines, tubes, and wires were connected to Keigo’s body. And as clear as day you saw it. You were right. The nurse did leave something out.

Keigo’s wings…

They were gone…

Not just the feathers, but the entire wing itself.

Both of them. They were gone completely.

Screams filled your mind. Blood curtailing scream. Screams of pure pain. You remember waking up before passing out again. You heard the screams, you wanted desperately to help Keigo, but your exhaustion took over you again and you passed out. You couldn’t help him.

You could have saved him. But you were too late.

“Keigo,” a choked sob escaped your lips.

Keigo’s eyes shot open at the sound of your voice. “Little Dove?” his raspy voice whispered.

You wheeled over next to his bed. Tears flowing quickly down your rosy cheeks. “Keigo, your wings. They’re gone!” you sobbed. 

He stayed silent. He couldn’t speak. Tears started falling down his cheeks as well.

“Keigo that bastard Dabi clipped your wings?” you sobbed, shouting. 

“He didn’t clip them, Little Dove,” he whispered.

“No-” another choked sob escaped you.

“He burned them and tore them clean off.” he cried softly.

“Pretty Bird.” you cried reaching for his hand. He took your hand and squeezed it tight.

“Little Dove, look at me,” he said softly.

“Yes, Keigo?”

“We’re free,” he said.

“What do you mean we’re free? You’re quirkless now!”

“Exactly. I’m quirkless.”

“That means…” you whispered, finally realizing what he’s hinting at.

“I’m not going to be a hero anymore. You can retire, and we’re both free, Little Dove.” he cried, happily this time. 

“We're free. You're free!” you cry happily. 

“Took this long to find it, but it's finally here,” he said as tears ran down his face.

“I'm going to miss hugs from your wings, Pretty Bird,” you say softly.

“You might not get hugs or free flights anymore. But I can tell we're going to be so much happier,” he said back, squeezing your hand again, and ran his thumb over your knuckles.

“What are we going to do now?” you ask.

“We have more free time than we know what to do with. We'll figure it out,” he said, his usual smile splitting his face.

“We'll be okay,” you said happily.

“Damn right we will.” 

And he was right. You both are okay. Free from hero expectations, society, everything. It's finally just the two of you. Just like Keigo wanted it to be. He may have lost his wings, but he still had himself and you. That's all he needed.

[theasgardianbuckylaufeyson]

Enemy or Friend? Finale Part

Summary: Even if the Avengers save you, could it be too late?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings:

AN: The villain in this story is completely made up. And also, I know a couple of people wanted to be tagged in this post, but my tags don’t seem to be working. Once I figure out what is going on with them I will create a taglist for anyone who wants to be tagged in my other works.

You could have sworn that you died when all those guards were beating you back in the torture room, but the annoying beeping sound that came from beside you made you think otherwise. If you were dead it wouldn’t be this annoying. At least you hoped it wouldn’t. 

You don’t know how long the beeping continued but after a while the sound of what seemed to be a door stopped you from counting the beeps. Though you couldn’t seem to open your eyes or move any part of your body you could hear perfectly fine. That means that your only way to figure out where you were and what is going on would be to listen to everything around you.

“Come on Buck, the doctors said she isn’t going to wake up anytime soon so there is no point in sitting here allowing yourself to wither away. At least go home, take a shower, and get some food into your system,” you hear the recognizable voice that is Steve Rogers say. 

Bucky?

“She is like this because she was protecting me. There is no way that I am leaving her alone here while she is like this when it is my fault,” you hear Bucky’s distressed tone shakily reply to Steve’s request. The tone of his voice pained you to hear and made you fight harder to open your eyes.  

“And if she sees you in this state when she wakes up how do you think she is going to feel?” Steve retorts causing a sigh to slip past his best friends lips. 

“Fine, but I’m not taking more time than I need to Steve. I’ll take a shower and eat a sandwich then I’m coming right back up here.”

“I wouldn’t expect any less from you Bucky,” Steve replies solemnly, “I’ll uh, give you a minute to say bye.”

Not even a minute later the door clicks shut and Bucky’s voice appears closer than it was before, “Steve’s making me leave again doll, but I’ll be back as soon as I can. I promise. Try not to wake up until I get back though, okay?” 

When he stops talking you feel something brush against your forehead. Bucky’s mouth. He kissed you, Bucky actually kissed you. As you pull yourself from the shock of Bucky kissing you, you realize that the kiss was the first thing you felt since you began to hear again. You had to pull yourself out of this, if not for yourself then for Bucky and you had to do it fast. 

With all the strength you could muster up you tried to pry your eyes open, only nothing happened. After three more attempts to open your eyes to no avail you groaned internally knowing that he was probably already gone by now. Instead of straining yourself by trying some more and not being able to actually open your eyes when Bucky returns, you try a different approach. 

After waiting some time to ensure that Bucky wouldn’t be in the shower you attempted to astral project yourself to him, but you couldn’t find his aura anywhere in the Avengers compound or Stark Tower. It seemed odd to you since he was supposed to be in one of those two places and you instantly began to worry. 

What if HYDRA got him while he was leaving the building? Him and Steve are strong, but they would be prepared to turn him back into their asset the moment they set eyes on him. The idea that Bucky could be in trouble sent you into a panic and your eyes shot open. The moment the hospital lights began to blind you sensitive eyes you were sitting up without a care in the world about the pain in your ribs. Instantly your hand was reaching down to rip the tube out when the door to your hospital room burst open to reveal a frantic Bucky. 

“Hey, hey Y/N you’re okay. Just lay back and relax, I’m going to go get the doctors okay?” he soothes you softly as he pulls your hand off of where the iv is implanted into your arm and nudges you to lay back. 

Once he sees that you are calm he rushes from the room only to return a few minutes later with multiple nurses and a doctor in tow. They all surround your bed in order to check your vitals before the doctor announces that he is going to remove your feeding tube since you are finally awake and should be able to eat on your own. You were attached to a lot more things than your iv, but you didn’t notice any of them because you were too worried about whether or not Bucky was safe. 

Eventually the doctors finished examining you and left to let you rest. You had just woken up from a coma and had no plans on sleeping anytime soon no matter how much the doctors urged you too. All you wanted was to see Bucky, you knew that he was okay but now it was about something else. He kissed you. Sure it was only a kiss on the forehead and you may be making this into something it’s not, but before you were held by HYDRA he hated you and you wanted to know what changed. 

He must have knew what you wanted because as soon as the nurses left the whole team rushed inside. Some of them apologized for not trusting you soon and others embraced you, joyous and thankful that you were alive. You had seen everyone except for the one person you were longing to see by the time the whole team filed out of your room that night and to say you were disappointed was an understatement. 

“Hey, Steve” you called out hoarsely as he began to leave behind everyone else.

“Yeah?” he asks stopping by the door to wait for your response. 

“Do you- Uh, do you know where Bucky went?” your voice sounds more hopeful than you want it to when you ask the question and you can see the look of understanding appearing in the captains eyes.

“I haven’t seen him since we got here, I’m sorry Y/N,” he explains softly before quickly adding in, “he’ll be by though, I know that’s for sure. He hasn’t left your side since we got you back, I doubt he’s going to start now.” 

With a nod of understanding you say goodbye to Steve before he leaves your room. As the door clicks shut behind him your mind begins to race once again. They came back for you after everything. Bucky never left your side while you were in a coma. Your whole team finally accepted you for who you were. So much had come to light since you woke up that you were beginning to think that you truly did die and this was some fucked up version of a dream.

All those thoughts flew out the window when a knock on your door dragged you back to earth. 

“Come in,” you call quietly before a coughing spell takes over thanks to the dryness in your throat. 

You hear the door open through your coughing then some rushed footsteps before a cup i being thrust into your face, “Drink this doll, it’ll help your throat.” 

Silently you drink from the cup but continually glancing up at the supersoldier before you. There are so many questions you want to ask the man before you but all you can do is drink from the cup of water that is being held to your lips until there is no more left to drink. 

“There, is that better?” he asks as he sets the now empty cup back onto the table beside your bed. 

“Yeah, thank you Bucky,” you reply quietly while you fiddle with the blanket draped over your body.

Neither of you speak again, a heavy silence falls over you both while waiting for the other to speak first. After a while it seems like the silence is going to last forever when Bucky finally speaks up, “I uh- I never got a chance to say thank you. After you saved me. I was too busy being a jerk to see that it was a trap and because of that you got stuck back in that horrible place.” 

“Hey, Bucky me being captured wasn’t nowhere near your fault. Even if you were listening to me from the start of the mission you wouldn’t have known that it was a trap. If anything this is my own fault. I should have known the moment we stepped foot in that room but it’s been so long I guess I forgot what my own room looked like,” you explain sadly, “If it took me any longer to see what was happening they would have got you too.”

“This is nowhere near your fault Y/N. You almost died trying to protect the secrets of shield and trying to protect me, nothing in this situation shows that you are in the wrong.”

“My parents did this, if I wasn’t born none of this would have happened,” you retort sadly as tears well in your eyes. 

“Don’t,” Bucky begins in a strained tone, “Don’t ever say that again Y/N because if you weren’t born than I don’t know what I would do. None of this is on you. You couldn’t choose what family you were born into or the choices that they made, but you can choose your own and you did. And if you didn’t make the choice to be good then I would have never saved you that day when Vada. Your parents would have never gave you the powers you have today, the powers you use to save people. The same ones you used to save me, Wanda, and Pietro numerous times even before we all knew each other personally.”

“I thought you hated me Bucky, why are you tell me all of this now?” 

“Because I could never hate you Y/N, in fact it’s quite the opposite. I love you. I have since I was turned into the winter soldier and saved you all those years ago, but I wouldn’t allow myself to show it because I was scared. I didn’t want my feelings for you to bring back the monster I was before so I repressed them the only way I could think of. With anger and hatred. For a while I even began to believe what I was telling myself too. Until we went back to that building and every single memory came back to me. How I felt the first time I returned from a mission and saw you. The day I found out your parents didn’t plan on bringing you back to the facility because of me and I tore through nearly half the guards they had on staff before they finally changed their minds. But the one memory that stood out over every other one was the day you never came back,” Bucky says seriously to you, only stopping once to take a brief breath, “I knew they were taking you to a new facility. I also knew what day you were suppose to return since you father didn’t want to lose any more man by hiding the information from me. They knew you were my weakness. I assumed when you didn’t return that it was a part of their plan, until I learned about SHIELD. I knew they took you but what I didn’t know was that you wanted to go. Even as the soldier I felt heartbroken at the loss of you. That’s why I was harsher than normal even after you came to me while you were still trapped. I regretted everything I said the moment the words left my mouth, but I didn’t know what to do. You were there because of me and yet you didn’t want anyone to come back for you.”

For a couple minutes after Bucky finished talking you sat in shock and silence going over everything that was just laid on you. You could see Bucky nervously playing with his hands while he waited for your response that came a few minutes later, “I never wanted to leave you back then Buck, and if I would’ve known soon that you were Steve’s best friend I would have told him so we could go back for you. But all I knew was that you were extremely quiet and my savior on more occasions than one. When you were found some time later I didn’t hesitate to fight beside Steve for your safety even if it meant risking myself, even if you seemed to hate my guts. I fell in love with you when you saved me at seventeen and that didn’t change over the years. It’s actually why I gave my freedom up for you again back at that base, I thought if I could prove myself to you then maybe you wouldn’t hate me.”

“You had nothing to prove doll, because even while I was brainwashed it was always you.”

[selfship-uncharted]

The Fugitive part IV - Just for a moment

part I - part II - part III - part IV - part V - part VI - 

part VII - part VIII - part IX - part X -  part XI - part XII  - part XIII - part XIV

A/N: Thank you so much again for your support and feedback! I hope you will enjoy this chapter too! A/N2: English is not my first language. Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Reader Warnings: a little of violence, come on, it’s the wild west Words: 2,143 Tags: @asiramhera , @missdictatorme, @zoilalove213

"I wonder, what are you writing every night in that notebook of yours?" "None of yar business, kid" "I noticed you sketch a lot." You continue ignoring his rudeness. "I would love to see them." He didn't answer. "I actually sketch a lot too. When I was back home, of course. It helped me to get away from my father." "Ya could use it to get away from yar husband. And now shut up." He added with a lack of sensitivity. You shut up, not because he ordered you but because he made you remember your fate when you will get home. "Do... Do you mind if I walk?" You asked him troubled. You didn't wait for his answer that you jumped down from the horse, although it was still walking. You fell on your hands but you didn't care. Actually now, you didn't care about anything. You were near Saint-Denis, you knew that maybe tomorrow you would be there, at your father's house with that fiancé of yours. And who knows how long before you married him. A shiver ran down your spine just thinking of the wedding night. That greasy man naked over you, touching you with those big dirty hands, kissing you with that disgusting mouth... And to say he would be your first man makes you sick. You held yourself strongly trying to erase those pictures of you and him. "Hey, what's the matter?" Arthur asked worriedly. "Could you for once call me by my name? It's always 'hey' 'you' 'kid' 'girl', I have a name you know?" You protested frustrated. Arthur was taken aback. It was the first time you talk to him like that. "Did I say anything wrong... hum... Y/N?" He paused before saying your name like it was difficult for him to say it or something. No, it wasn't him that bothered you or maybe yes, since he was the one to take you back. It was all, how helpless you were in front of your future, being unable to change it. "I'm sorry, Y/N... I didn't mean to offend you..." He tried to apologize, he made the horse go slowly by your side. "Come on, get on the horse, ki... Y/N." "It's not you, ok?" You turned at him dismissing him. "I- I just need to think..." Arthur stopped the horse giving you some distance, but he followed you close with his hand near the lasso in case he needed it. "Did ya end thinkin'?" Asked you Arthur after a while of walking behind you. "We should continue our way, or we will never reach Saint-Denis." "As a matter of fact the only one of the two of us who wants to go to Saint-Denis it's you." You stated. "So, if you want to continue your journey alone you are welcome." "Ha, ha, very funny." He answered with an attempt of being sarcastic. "Now, mount." He spurred the horse to make it walk in front of you and stopped there looking you fiercely. "Did you heard that?" You asked him stopping suddenly. Arthur shook his head but kept staring at you with suspicion. "I heard someone... Calling for help." You added. In the distance someone was yelling from pain, you followed the voice into the forest. While you ran into the forest you heard two shots that startled you. "Y/N, wait!" Arthur shouted concerned about the gunfire. Arthur followed you with the horse until you found a man with his leg trapped in a steel-jaw holding a gun. "Oh, thank goodness you are here! The wolves came from nowhere and I got trapped while escaping from them!" Said the man when he saw you. "Please, help me?" You got close to him and look at his wound, it was bad, really bad. "Step aside, kid." Ordered you, Arthur. "I mean- Y/N..." Added clearing his throat. You chuckled. "You know, it's not like you have to overuse my name now." He looked at you confused. "I'm going to fetch the horse." You announced him. "Just take care of his leg." Arthur looked at the hunter while he took the steel-jaw. "Women..." He sighed opening the trap. When he did the hunter cried in pain but also of relief. He was grateful to be released. You were trying to get the hunter's horse but every time you went near it stepped away. "Seriously, will you stay still, please??" You begged the animal. A shadow moved on your right while you were concentrated with the horse. "Y/N!" Shouted Arthur warning you but it was too late you didn't have time to react a wolf appeared from nowhere jumped at you making you fall on the ground. You tried to get it out of you but it was too strong. You felt the breath of the animal on your face. You fought him as you could. Trying to protect your face and neck with your arms. You screamed of pain when you felt its claws piercing your skin. Arthur drew his gun and shot killing it, making it fell dead on you. Other wolves appeared attacking Arthur and the hunter but Arthur shot at them fast enough before it could happen anything. You removed that dead weight of you covered in a mixture of its blood and yours. "Ya alright?" Asked you Arthur concerned checking your face. "Yes... I think..." You were trembling, that sudden attack frightened you, those animals were ferocious, you never saw one that close. "Shit..." You looked at your right arm full of blood, your hand was trembling being unable to realize how bad you were injured. "Did it bite you?" Asked Arthur worried taking your arm examining the wound. "I don't know..." your voice trembled. Arthur whistled to his horse to make it come, he took the canteen from it and poured the water on your arm cleaning the wound to see how bad it was. You closed your eyes in pain feeling the stinging. "It ain't no good, kid. You might need some stitches." He took his scarf from his neck and bandaged your arm. "I'll take you to a doctor." You nodded with a worried look. "You will survive." Arthur calmed you. He helped you to get on your feet and carried you on his horse. "Wait, here." He ordered. Arthur went to look for the hunter's horse. He slowly got near the horse shushing him, saying nice words to him until he gained its trust to take the reins. Arthur went near the hunter and helped him to get on his horse. "Is it bad?" he asked concerned about your injury. "I dunno know..." answered Arthur. "I'll take her to a doctor to check it on." "I'm so sorry, it was all my fault." he apologized. "It's okay man." Arthur patted the hunter horse. "Anyway, thank you so much for saving me. I hope it won't be nothing." The hunter turned to look at you and raise your hand to say goodbye. You smiled at him and nodded. The hunter spurred his horse and went away. Arthur came back to you, you were holding your arm in pain a cold sweat running down your forehead. "Ya good?" He asked you sitting behind you. "It hurts a little..." you whispered. "And it keeps bleeding..." The scarf that Arthur used it was soaked red from your blood. Arthur spurred his horse and went to look for the nearest town. On the way you were tilting side to side being unable to stand for yourself, your wound kept bleeding and you started to feel dizzy. "Hey! Stay with me, kid!" Arthur shook your shoulder to wake you up. "It's all right, we are nearly there..." Afraid that you might fall from the horse he brought you to him to lean on his chest and secure you with circling his arm on your waist. "It's okay..." you weakly whispered. "it's nothing..." "That's right, Y/N. Talk to me." he insisted. "Ya always 've many things to say, tell me about all of them, don't fall asleep." "I don't want to talk now... I'm sleepy... in any way... you don't even care...." "No, don't, don't fall asleep! Y/N!" You slowly opened your eyes not being able to recognize the wooden ceiling over you. You gradually sat down on a bed you weren't familiar at all. When you moved, your arm ached. It was properly bandaged this time and no trace of blood but your hand was numb when you close it the wound ached. The sleeve from your shirt was completely ripped, you guessed it was made to heal your wound easily. But where were you? The strong snore made you turned your face and see Arthur sitting on a chair beside your bed sleeping deeply with his hat covering his face. The door opened and an old man entered the room, he looked surprised o see you. "So, you are awake." He said. "I'm Dr. Thomas Dawson." You timidly nodded to him presenting yourself. He took a stool and sat in front of you. "Let me take a look on your wound." You gave him your arm and he removed the bandage revealing three scratches with stitches in your arm. The view shocked you. "It looks okay." said the doctor. "In a week you will be able to remove the stitches. I will give you an ointment to avoid having any scar. It would be a pity in a young lady those horrible scars." You bent your head being called a lady troubled you. You turned to Arthur who was still sleeping. "He has spent the night looking for you." Explained de doctor. "He was quite worried. The poor fellow. He brings you here in his arms, you were unconscious, you lost a lot of blood. Thankfully the wound wasn't infected." He got up. "You better take a rest too." And left you the both of you alone in the room. Arthur was still sleeping deeply if it was true he spent the night looking for you he might be exhausted, so you let him sleep a little more. Your eyes roamed to him to his bag where his notebook slightly stuck out from the bag. Very tempting. You could just take a look or two, if he didn't know it he wouldn't care. Not making any sound you got near him ready to grab it, but Arthur started moving waking up so you sat down on your bed pretending nothing happened. He lifted his hat from his eyes and stretched his muscles. He scrubbed his eyes and then looked at you. "Ya awake?" he asked. "How ya doin'?" "I'm fine," you answered gulping. Arthur looked at your arm, you showed it to him. "I know a fella who got ones too," he said referring to your scratches. "But it was in his face, made him uglier." He smirked. He rested in silence for a second but not having any reaction from you he got up. "Was that a joke?" you tilt your head to look at him with a naughty smile. Arthur didn't answer, he put his hat corretly aparently embarrased and dismissing you he added: "Let's go find you a shirt and let's go from this town." Once you get your new shirt you went to the stables where Arthur was waiting for you to continue your journey. Arthur motioned you to get on the horse. "Arthur..." you started. He looked at you not really interested. "Hum... thank you." you let out. Now he looked at your curious. "I... the doctor said you took care of me all night." "It ain't nothing, ki... Y/N." he said looking at his horse holding its saddle, somehow he looked embarrassed. You took his hand from the saddle to make him look at you. "I really mean it." you insisted. "Also, I... I didn't want to yell at you the other day... it wasn't fair. I was angry but it wasn't your fault." Arthur stared at you and bring the hand you were holding to your cheek. "It's okay, girl." He appeased you. "Your hands are rough." you smiled. "Sorry." He apologized but he doesn't sound like he really meant it. "Yar skin is too delicate." You chuckled. "I actually like them." You smiled at him. "Ya'r weird, girl." He complained "Maybe..." You come close to him and rested your head on his chest. "What ya doin'?" Arthur asked even more confused. "Just... For a moment... Please..." You begged him closing your eyes. Arthur sighed, somehow he felt you were not okay, that you were worried. He guessed it was because he was bringing you back home and you didn't want. But he couldn't do anything about it, it was his job to take you back, nothing more. He couldn’t get involved with you in any way.

[wildfangz]

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want. 

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’.  i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust. 

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me 

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway 

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway! 

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

21

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

[choicesfanatic86]

TTS:  Part 35 (Liam x MC)

DISCLAIMER:  All characters belong to Pixelberry Studios, except characters unique to my story.  Those belong to me. ;)

PAIRINGS:  Riley (MC) x OC, Riley (MC) x Liam, Liam x Riley (MC) x OC, Olivia x Drake, Bertrand x Savannah, Maxwell x OC

SUMMARY:  Riley sees Maxwell for the first time since learning about her pregnancy.

If you are new to the series and would like to catch up by reading previous parts, please check out my master fan fiction listing.  CATCH UP HERE

Permanent Tag List:  @umccall71 @drakelover78 @jamielea81 @bobasheebaby @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject @theroyalweisme @gardeningourmet @jlouise88 @hamulau @traeumerinwitzhelden @blackcatkita @mrs-simmy @kaitycole @alwaysthebestchoice

Tag List for TTS Only:  @herladyshipxx  @devineinterventions2 @captainkingliam @pbchoicesobsessed @cocomaxley @queencatherynerhys @mfackenthal @boneandfur @spetstoof @grapefrults @pessimystic-fangirl @dralenamax @mspaigemoore @jayjay879 @hhiggs @penguininapinktuxedo @topsyturvy-dream @decisso @pnhanga @ladynonsense @mrsdrakewalkerblog @crookedslimecreatorpasta @liamxsworld @flowerpowell @bruteforcebears

5/26/18 - Guys! I’m soooo sorry it’s been like 4 days since an update!  I got so sick a few days ago, and it really knocked me out.  I still had to go to work so I was juggling that as well, but I’m back and feeling tons better! Thank you for all your well wishes.  I had thought I would get to spend my sick days in bed catching up on all the awesome new fanfics in the fandom, but alas sleep won out. ;)  Anyway, we’re back with the gang in New York and we’re one step closer to Liam learning about the lima bean. :)  Hope you enjoy Part 35!

As always thank you for the awesome feedback.  If you want to be added to the tag, just let me know! :)  I updated the permanent tag list and individual story list.  If I missed someone, just let me know! ;)

PART 35 - Is it Catching?

Riley’s mouth gaped open a bit.  Forgetting herself, she went to run a nervous hand through her hair, but the sharp tug of the IV prevented her from doing so.  She winced from the pain, placing her arm straight on the bed.  She paused, inhaling deeply.  “Flew in?  As in he’s with him right now?”

She wasn’t ready for this.  She thought she would have at least a few more weeks before she had to make any major decisions about telling him about the pregnancy.  She wanted to at least get her head wrapped around it herself.  Liam couldn’t find out this way, not along with everyone else.  That wouldn’t be fair to him.  She didn’t even know what she was going to say to him.  She hadn’t quite figured things out with the baby just yet, and she had hoped to have a game plan before telling him about their lima bean.  “If he’s here . . . I can’t see him,” she said fearfully.  “Not like this.  Not here,” she emphasized.

Andy shook her head.  “I know, don’t worry.  He’s not here at the hospital, but yes, he is in New York.  They all are.  Drake . . . Bertrand.  It seems like everyone but Maxwell knew it would be better to wait until you got stabilized before coming to see you,” she shrugged.  

She sighed heavily.  “Andy,” she shook her head in dismay.  “Things are complicated enough as it is right now.  I thought I would have time to figure things out before everyone found out about the baby,” she said sadly.

“I didn’t expect for him to come.  I didn’t expect any of them to come,” she said apologetically.  “I didn’t want to complicate things for you, Ri.  You can still keep things quiet . . . it just might be a bit trickier now,” she said quietly.

“I know . . . I know,” she nodded, leaning her head back into the pillow.  She wanted to scream.  Of all the rotten timing, all of this had to be happening now.  

“Look, I better go meet him downstairs before he starts trying to peek into every hospital room trying to find you.  Are you sure you’re okay with him coming up here?” Andy paused at the room’s door.  “Because I really can tell him to go to the hotel,” she added.

Riley shook her head.  “It’s fine,” she waved her off.  It wasn’t as if she really had a choice.  She couldn’t turn him away after he came all this way just for her.

“I think I’ll head back to the apartment now.  Give you guys some privacy.  Want me to grab anything for you while I’m there?” Alicia asked.

“No, I think I’m okay for now.  Thanks, Alicia.  Sorry for all the chaos . . . I really do appreciate everything you’re doing,” Riley said gratefully.  “I haven’t forgotten about our talk.  With everything going on . . . it just kind got pushed to the back burner, but I promise, we’ll talk soon, okay?”

“Whatever it is can wait until you’re better.  I better head out . . . long day of consults tomorrow.  Take it easy, get lots of rest, and I’ll swing by tomorrow before the first consult of the day,” she said as she left the hospital room.

With Andy meeting Maxwell downstairs and Alicia gone, Riley’s thoughts began to consume her.  She was worried.  Scared.  Anxious.  All the emotions she shouldn’t be dealing with when she and the lima bean were already having so much trouble as is.  She had hoped to be in a better place health-wise before springing the news on everyone.  It looked like that idea had flown out the window.  Liam being in New York complicated things even further . . . although perhaps it was for the best.  She couldn’t imagine telling him something so life-altering over the phone or through a video chat.  And in her present physical state, hopping a flight to Cordonia didn’t seem to be a remote possibility.  Him being in New York could possibly be the best turn of events since she learned about the lima bean.

Riley’s thoughts were interrupted when she heard Andy and Maxwell bickering outside of her room.  They sounded like an old married couple.  She couldn’t help but smile.  As crazy as they drove her, she was fortunate to have two amazing people like Andy and Maxwell in her life.

“I told you not to come,” Andy scolded.  “She needs her rest, and you all coming out here is just going to stress her out.  And did you really have to bring him?”

“You called me, remember?  Screaming.  What was I supposed to do?  Sit by and wait for a call that something awful had happened?  And really, did you think that Liam would sit by knowing that she was back in the hospital?  He cares about her, too.”

“You could have given me a chance to figure out what was going on before hopping on a flight,” she said.  Riley could hear the frustration in her tone.

“My Little Blossom needed me,” he argued.

“I had it under control,” Andy argued back.

“Will you quiet down?  You’re the one telling me she needs to rest.  She could probably hear you all the way down the hall,” he whispered sharply.

“I think the whole hospital can hear you,” Riley called out.  “Why don’t you just get in here already?”

“Little Blossom,” he walked somberly into the room, his eyes never leaving Riley’s face.  

She could read his thoughts.  She looked awful.  Over the last few days, the gash on her forehead had healed enough that she was able to leave off the gauze bandaging that had been covering it.  The stitches hadn’t dissolved yet, and her earlier description of looking a bit like Frankenstein was even more accurate.  Her facial bruising darkened and as Dr. Diaz had warned her, she was left with a fairly nasty black eye.  All in all, she looked like someone had taken a bat to her face.  She could understand Maxwell’s alarm.  She even found it hard to look at herself in the mirror without gasping a bit.  She knew her injuries were all superficial and that things could be so much worse, but it didn’t stop her from feeling a bit self-conscious about how she had currently looked.

“Oh,” he murmured in surprise.  “I’m so sorry,” he began walking up to her bedside.  “You . . . you look,” his eyes couldn’t meet hers any longer.  He was unable to find the right words to describe her present state.  “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”

“It looks worse than it is,” she reassured him.

“There’s so many wires,” he murmured, his voice catching with a bit of emotion as his eyes wandered toward the many screens and tubes that surrounded her.

She looked around at the various monitors and IV lines that were hooked up to her.  She supposed he was right.  She had lines coming out from everywhere.  She didn’t even really know what was what.  All she knew was that all of this was making her feel ten times better than she had been feeling, and if it meant having all of these wires and lines stuck in her, she’d gladly put up with it.

“Maxwell, I’m okay,” she emphasized.  “They are just monitoring me, making sure that I’m okay and hydrated.  You didn’t have to fly all the way here,” she whispered.  “Andy really did have things under control.”

“Of course I needed to come here.  When Andy called me she was screaming.  She was a wreck.  In turn, I was a wreck.  She said she had just called the ambulance and didn’t know what to do.  I didn’t know what to do myself . . . being so far away.  I had been so scared, and I couldn’t just hang back when there was so much going on with you.  There was never a question about me coming to see you,” he said genuinely.  “Are you feeling better?”

“I am feeling a bit better,” she nodded.  “Much better than yesterday,” she admitted.  

“Did they figure out what’s wrong?” He asked seriously.

She had never seen Maxwell so solemn before.  He had dark circles under his eyes; he looked worn out.  She wondered if he had managed to sleep on the plane.  She barely knew what time it was here in New York, she suspected it had to be rather late in Cordonia.  He was probably running on fumes . . . just like Andy.  She suddenly felt so guilty.  Everyone was so worked up about her being in the hospital, that they weren’t taking care of themselves either.

“They have,” she nodded.  “I’m okay.  Everything will be okay, eventually,” she said vaguely.  She wasn’t sure if now was the time to let Maxwell in on the news about the lima bean.  He looked so distraught and worried; she didn’t want to add to it.  Although . . . he had already suspected what had possibly been going on with her.  Maybe knowing that he in fact was right would alleviate some of the concerns that were so clearly written on his face.  But she still worried about him telling Liam.  Could she really risk that happening before she was ready?

“Riley . . . you don’t look okay,” he said honestly.  “And . . . all these wires and machines they say you’re very much not okay.  Level with me here . . . you know you can tell me anything, right?  You’re my best friend,” he pleaded with her.

She paused, biting her lip.  She didn’t know what to say.  She was nervous.  She wasn’t ready to tell the whole wide world about the lima bean.    Her eyes drifted to Andy who had been standing quietly in the corner watching the exchange between the two friends.

“I heard you vomiting in the background when I was talking to Andy . . . the passing out . . . the dehydration . . . you always being too tired to do anything . . . everything Andy’s told me only adds up to one thing . . .” he trailed off.

“Maxwell . . .” Andy warned.

Riley shook her head.  “No, it’s okay,” she murmured quietly.  “I think you may have already figured it out,” she whispered, placing one of her hands lightly against her stomach.  She looked up to meet his gaze, giving him a half smile.  “So, I guess you’re going to be an uncle,” she whispered.  The anxiety and nerves increased.  The only other person she had actually told about the pregnancy was Alicia.  Andy didn’t count because she had figured it out on her own.  She wasn’t certain how he’d take the news.

He paused for a moment, blinking several times, before a huge grin spread across his face.  “I suspected,” he said honestly.  “A lot of those symptoms sounded similar to Savannah . . . But I wasn’t sure until I heard you vomiting in the background yesterday,” he explained.  His eyes drifted to her flat stomach.  “A baby,” he smiled brightly.  “You’re going to be such a wonderful mother, Little Blossom.”  He reached for one of her hands, squeezing it tightly.

“Aww, Maxwell,” she blushed.  “Thank you . . . I’m still getting used to the idea.  I haven’t really had a chance to think about much of anything except feeling so sick,” she admitted sadly.  “They think I have hyperemesis gravidarum . . . which I guess is a bunch of fancy words for vomiting until I feel like I’m going to die,” she said, a bit dramatically.

He looked at her with a baffled expression.  “Is it catching?”

She covered her mouth in laughter.  “Oh my gosh, Maxwell.” She shook her head.  “Some women get it during pregnancy.  You definitely have nothing to worry about,” she shook her head.  God, she had missed him.  His playfulness, his humor.  It was nice to truly laugh for a change.

His attention turned to Andy, a bit of sadness in his eyes.  “You knew?  This whole time?”

She shook her head.  “I found out the day I got in,” she admitted.  “I hated not being able to tell you, baby.”

“Don’t be mad at Andy, okay?  I asked her not to tell anyone.  I wanted to talk to Liam about things first, but I guess my little lima bean had other plans,” she sighed.  “Pregnancy is no joke.  Where’s this glow I keep hearing about?” she sighed.

Both Maxwell and Andy chuckled a little.  The tension in the room decreased quickly.  Maxwell’s energetic personality seemed to return a little, as he animatedly talked about how excited he was to be an uncle . . . again.  He looked at Andy and smiled.  “We’re going to be the best aunt and uncle ever, Tiger Lilly.  We’ll take him or her to all sorts of parks and I’ll teach him or her how to break dance!”  

Andy nodded in agreement, a small smile playing on her lips.  For the first time since finding out about the pregnancy, she seemed to be genuinely excited.  Riley supposed that keeping the news from Maxwell had weighed heavily on her mind.  She mistook her friend’s stress and anxiety over lying to Maxwell as disinterest in her pregnancy.

“Ri, you’re gonna be a mom,” Andy walked to the opposite side of Maxwell, squeezing herself next to her on the narrow hospital bed.  “And I’m going to miss most of it,” she suddenly realized.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Riley reassured her.  “We will still Skype and I’ll send you baby bump pictures,” she laughed.  “And maybe you can fly back down for a visit before he’s born?” She asked hopefully.

Andy shook her head.  “It won’t be the same,” she sighed.  “Not like if I were here with you,” she murmured sadly.

Maxwell tilted his head a little in confusion.  “The baby is Liam’s right?” he asked suddenly.  “I know what with everything going on with your ex-boyfriend . . . and what happened with Liam . . . but . . . you’re going to stay here . . .” he rambled on and on, his words not making much sense.  He started to blush when he realized that nothing he was saying was coherent.  

“Yes, it most definitely is Liam’s.  He’s been the only one in the last two years.  And it certainly isn’t the next immaculate conception,” she sighed, a bit annoyed with the implication he was making.

“I didn’t mean to offend you, Little Blossom.  It’s just . . . why aren’t you coming back to Cordonia then?  If the baby is Liam’s . . . you two can get married, and everything will go back to how things were before,” he reasoned.  His eyebrows were still furrowed in confusion.  “Right?” He looked at her for confirmation.  He had so desperately wanted his two friends back together.  He’d made that clear during her time back in Cordonia.  Maxwell was a hopeless romantic, and he wanted Riley to have her happily ever after.

“Maxwell . . .” she trailed off sadly.  “Things are a bit complicated right now . . . and I haven’t even had a chance to figure out how everything is going to work out.  I just want to take it one day at a time until me and the lima bean are out of the woods health-wise,” she said honestly.  “I know that Liam has a right to know what’s going on, and he will, but when I’m ready,” she said firmly.  “So that means everything we’ve talked about in this room doesn’t leave here, got it?”  She stared at him.  “I need your word on this.”

“Of course,” he nodded in agreement.  “Understood.  But . . . Riley, he flew in with me . . . don’t you think he’s going to want to see you at some point?  He loves you . . . a lot.”

Riley shook her head.  “The guy that I saw before I left wanted nothing to do with me.  He wanted me out of his life for good, Maxwell.  He flew her because of a guilty conscience.  I know things are going to change when he finds out about the baby . . . but people shouldn’t just be together for the sake of their child.  They need to love one another . . . respect one another . . .  trust one another.  I don’t think Liam feels that way towards me,” she said sadly.  “I still love him . . . I probably always will, but that doesn’t mean being in a relationship with him is the right decision for me or for the baby.”

Maxwell sighed.  Riley could tell that there was so much more that he wanted to say, but he was holding back.  She was almost certain that he didn’t want to upset her while she was stuck in the hospital.  She knew that this wouldn’t be the end of this conversation, but she was thankful that at least he had put a pause on things for right now.  Liam was still a touchy issue.  Add in the baby news, and things were going to get extremely complicated in a short amount of time.  She just couldn’t deal with it right now.

Sensing the change in tone, Andy hopped off the bed.  “You should get back to the hotel, mister.”  She pointed her finger at Maxwell’s chest.  “You can let the rest of the guys know that she’s okay, and that they should wait until she’s out of the hospital before visiting.  We don’t need the baby news getting out to the others just yet.”

He nodded in disappointment.  “I suppose you’re right,” he got off the bed, gazing softly at Riley.  “I’m so glad you’re okay, Little Blossom.  I’m so glad both of you are okay,” he corrected himself with a light smile.  “Are you getting discharged tomorrow?”

“That would be ideal . . . I have my first obstetrician appointment the next day, so it’d be nice to spend the night in my own bed,” she said hopefully.

“Well . . . if you get released tomorrow, we’ll all come over.  Help you get settled,” he reasoned.

“We’ll see,” she shrugged.  “One day at a time, remember?”

Maxwell nodded slowly before walking out of the hospital room, Andy followed behind him, pausing at the door.  “I better see him out before he gets lost,” she smiled wistfully.  “We don’t need a repeat of Paris,” she laughed.

“Thank you,” Riley smiled weakly.  “I know things have been a mess over the last few days, but hopefully they’re going to get better from here on out.  And I know I put you in a tough spot with him . . . but I hope I didn’t screw things up too badly for you . . .” she trailed off.

“I loved you first,” she smiled faintly.  “I’m not saying it was fun keeping this from him, but at least he knows now.  I’m going to head out, too, okay?  I’ll see you in the morning.  Hopefully we’ll get good news that you’ll be released.”

“Cross your fingers and toes,” she called after her, before sinking her head back into the pillow.  She hated being in the hospital.  She hated being poked and prodded and moved around here and there, but she’d deal, because she needed to make sure her little lima bean was well.

The next morning, Riley had felt a whole lot better.  The IV medication had given her the boost she needed.  She only hoped it would stay that way.  The last time she was in, the IV fluids had kept her going, only for the morning sickness to hit her like a freight train.  She still felt queasy, but not nearly as bad as she had felt at the apartment.  She was thankful that whatever medication they were giving her seemed to ward off the vomiting.  She was beginning to think the vomiting spells would never end.

“Knock, knock,” a tall, slender woman pulled back her curtain.  “Remember me?”

“Hi Dr. Roderick,” she smiled brightly. “Hopefully you’re here with good news for me?”

“I am indeed,” she nodded, scanning through the chart.  “So, yesterday when you came in they did another transvaginal ultrasound, and things looked good.  Baby was about the same size, but the heartbeat was strong.  So we don’t have any real concerns with the pregnancy as a whole.  What we’re worried about his the hyperemesis,” she looked up at Riley.  “It’s been known to last the whole pregnancy,” she explained.  “And from how severe your symptoms have been, that’s the direction things may be headed in,” she said honestly.

“Okay, so what does that mean?” Riley asked with a bit of concern.

“More nausea, vomiting, and low blood pressure,” she said sadly.  “But it looks like the IV Zofran is helping, so I don’t see anything wrong with prescribing you some of it in the pill form.  It should take some of the edge off of the hyperemesis and stabilize your symptoms when you get released.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” Riley said happily.  “That’s the best piece of news I’ve heard in the last week,” she said with a deep exhale.

“If that doesn’t work, we may need to continue the IV treatments . . . so that may mean coming back here.  Don’t wait so long to come in next time you can’t stop vomiting.  Dehydration can happen very quickly, and with baby on board, you don’t want to risk any further complications,” Dr. Roderick explained.

“Got it . . . feel crappy, come back to the ER,” She nodded.  Riley could just imagine all of the medical bills after all of this.  This pregnancy thing had certainly thrown her for a loop.  Every day was a new adventure with its own set of challenges.

“Good.  We’re going to be discharging you, and defer further medical management to Dr. Scoggin.  You’re still scheduled with her tomorrow correct?”

“Yes, I’ve been looking forward to it,” she nodded happily.  “Can’t wait to see the bean again,” she smiled lightly.

“Well, Ms. Lawson, let’s not meet back here under these circumstances again, okay?  Next time I see you, I hope it’s to hear that you delivered your healthy baby,” she smiled brightly.  “Give me an hour and you’ll be out of her,” she said pleased.

True to their words, Andy and Alicia had shown up that morning shortly after Dr. Roderick had left, and Riley was oh so eager to see them.  She happily told them she was getting discharged, and together they made plans to head back to the apartment.  Alicia volunteered to drop both of them off since she had a few consults to go to in the city.  That sounded great for Riley.  All she wanted was a nice shower and her own bed.  She was also pretty ecstatic that she didn’t have all the cords and wires hooked up to her anymore.  Those were starting to be a pain.  Andy wheeled Riley out of the hospital to the parking lot in a wheelchair, much to Riley’s dismay.  Her crutches had gotten left back at the apartment in all of the hustle and bustle of being transported by the ambulance, and with her busted leg, she couldn’t exactly walk without the extra support.

Once they got into the car, Riley let out a long sigh.

“I feel like such an invalid,” she shook her head.  “You guys shouldn’t have to do everything for me.”

“Hey,” Alicia said.  “It’s fine.  That’s what friends are for, Riley.  They have your back when you need a little extra help,” she said

“Alicia’s right.  That’s what we’re here for.  God only knows how many times you’ve come to our rescue.  Thing of this as us finally being able to return to the favor,” she assured her.

“I guess,” she sighed.  “I just hate feeling so helpless.  At least I’m going home.  I have a very important date with my shower, Netflix, and my nice, comfy bed,” she mused.

Andy grew quiet, suddenly looking away from her.

“What?” Riley narrowed her eyes at her best friend.  When Andy couldn’t look her in the eye or grew quiet, there was something wrong.  There was something she wasn’t telling her.

“So, you can totally say no,” Andy started to say from the backseat.  Alicia had taken to driving Riley’s car since she needed to use it to get to the various consult appointments throughout the city.

Riley looked at her, raising an eyebrow.  “What did you do?”

“Not so much me as it was Maxwell.  They guys miss you and are so worried.  When I let him know that you were getting discharged today, he wanted to come over tonight.  Spend some time with you.  With the rest of the guys of course,  just to hang out, maybe order some dinner,” Andy said nervously, watching Riley’s face.  “You hate the idea?” She asked.

Riley exhaled deeply.  “I don’t hate it . . . I’m just . . . not ready yet,” she admitted.

“All topics of baby will be off limit.  Maxwell’s a vault.  He hasn’t said anything to anyone,” she assured her.  “They just want to see you, Riley.  They’re our friends.”

“That include Liam?” she asked hesitantly.

Andy nodded.  “He’s very worried.”

“Huh,” she said thoughtfully.

“If you’re not ready to see everyone, I get it.  I can text Maxwell and let him know that tonight is not a great idea,” she said firmly.  “We can do this on your own terms.”

Alicia looked back at Andy in the rearview mirror as she pulled into their apartment building’s parking structure.  “Maybe you guys can do it another night when she’s feeling a bit better?  She has that big appointment tomorrow, so she should get some rest.”

Riley looked at her gratefully.  “You know, I just want to get through tomorrow, and then we can go from there,” she said.  “Sound good?”

“Definitely.  I’ll text Maxwell when we get upstairs.  It’ll be a girls’ night in.  We’ll join you for your Netflix date,” she joked.

As both girls helped Riley through the parking structure and into their building’s lobby, Riley couldn’t help but think how fortunate she was.  If Andy hadn’t have flown back and Alicia hadn’t have been willing to help her until her injuries healed, she didn’t know what she would do.  She had an aunt in Jersey, but she couldn’t exactly picture herself giving her a call asking to crash on her couch for a while.  Her other friends all had their own lives dealing with jobs and significant others.  She’d end up doing this on her own.  She wondered how she was going to do all of this alone with a baby.  Andy and Maxwell’s words echoed through her head.  Andy would eventually go back to Cordonia, and she was right, she’d miss a whole bulk of the pregnancy, maybe even the birth.  She had always imagined she’d have her best friend by her side.  Not to mention a husband.  That would have been a much more ideal situation.  She had always thought she’d have children after getting married.  She was certainly doing things rather backwards.  She shrugged the thoughts off.  So what if she was doing things a bit backwards.  So what if life isn’t turning out exactly the way she had planned. Her life wasn’t ruined.  It would just be a tad bit different than she had pictured it.  She could do this.  She’d have to for the lima bean’s sake.

“Oh no,” Andy sighed.  “I thought I told you I would call you when things got settled,” she scolded as they walked out of the elevator.

Alicia looked up first, seeing the tribe of men in front of her.  “Wow,” she murmured.  “I’m guessing they’re here for you,” she said softly.

Riley could feel her heart beat rapidly in her chest.  She wasn’t ready for this.  For them.  For him.  Of course they wouldn’t wait.  She should have known better than that.  Her friends were anything if not persistent.  Liam included.  Even though she had Alicia’s sturdy arms helping her hobble around, she still felt as if she were going to fall from the sheer surprise of them being here.  Her eyes scanned the group of men in front of her.  It didn’t take long for her eyes to find his.  It had been just about two months since she had seen him last, and her heart couldn’t help but skip a beat.  Why did he seem to have this power over her?  Damn him and his stupid good looks.  It didn’t matter how upset she was at him, she’d always swoon a little at the sight of him.  “Hey,” she murmured to the group, her mouth forming into a thin line.

“Hey,” Liam said, moving forward apart from the rest of the guys, their eyes locking on one another.  She had to tell him.  

And suddenly, Riley realized that she was about to change his life forever.

[warmau]

hi!!!!! can I please request for a minhyun college au? I am addicted to your writing (･´з`･) thank you in advance xxx

for nu’est ive decided it’d be cool to make them all medical students!! so consider it residency-college!au LOL~

specialty: minhyun is doing his residency in dermatology  

is known as the “pretty boy” of the unit and other residents are always joking that patients favor him because,,,,,,,,well one he has gorgeous skin,,,,,,,but everything else about him is literally just as gorgeous

is really sweet and tries his best to be polite,,,,,,even if taking another 10 hour shift is literally going to Kill Him,,,,,minhyun just smiles and is like : ) it’s fine : ) im fine

his superiors like him the most and their favoritism shows because guess who doesn’t get yelled out for taking a five minute snack break? it’s minhyun

but even though he comes off so mannered and mature,,,,,he has a lil nerdy side,,,,,like his phone background is always his cute niece and him but one day someone noticed that his lock screen was literally a screenshot from the transformers movie,,,,,,,like,,,,,,,,,

everyone keeps asking if he’s dating and minhyun is just like,,,,i,,,,,d,,dating?!?!?!?! and they’re like oh my god you have the face and you’re telling us you haven’t used it yet

and minhyun is like ?!?! i use it everyday to eat, to read - and everyone is like oh jesus no that’s nOT WHat we MEANT

but if anyone as much as dares to try to do ‘corrupt’ minhyun (as dongho affectionately refers to it) minhyun just turns pink and bites his lips and is like i!! don’t know anything about that,,,,,

boy is already in residency and sometimes if a patient get too close he has to excuse himself,,,,,,,soft boy

speaking of dongho and the rest of nu’est they all do residency in the same hospital so every now and then they’ll meet up to eat lunch outside

and everyone swoons because they’re the ~visual residents~ a group of goodlooking guys in white doctors coats,,,,,,what a dREAM

and then dongho gets crumbs all over his scrubs and minhyun is like come here i need to clean it - don’t you dare run from me- come bacK

is really good at his job though, so much so that people are like he doesn’t even need to do residency he knows sO MUCh

graduated at the top of his class in med school, still studies as diligently as before, literally takes notes on e v e r y t h i n g the doctors say

jr jokes that when minhyun opens his own dermatology clinic he should give all of them face lifts but minhyun is like,,,,,,,,im not doing that im doing immunodermatology wanna hear what i learned about leprosy-

jr: i gtg rn i was just trying to make a joke i am so sorry

anyway you also work in the hospital,,,,,but not as a resident or anything you’re actually in the tech department

and you know about minhyun because how can you not,,,,,but also,,,,,,,,he’s called the tech department like a minimum of twenty times a week because for some reason he’s super smart

but takes like ten years to type in a patients chart notes and he’s always getting a bit confused with the hospitals interface

and you,,,,,,,dont mind being the one called to help him i mean like have you /SEEN/ him  

just standing beside him is like basking in the sunlights glow and u dont mind. not one bit. tbh u r not gonna like lie when u see a call from the dermatology dept u basically fight people for the phone

buuuuut you also know that it’s a one sided kinda thing,,,because minhyun could have anyone,,,,,,,literally 

u can tell from the fact that his lab coats pockets are always full of candy, letters, and more that both patients and staff give him and yeah it makes ur heart sink a bit but like,,,,

whatever the short moment where you get to stand beside him at the desk and tell him (for the 15th time) how to reset the scheduling system works like,,,,,it’s enough

which is why when you get called down again, minhyun voice sounding apologetic over the phone u cheerily tell him it’s no problem - you’ll be right down to see what happened 

but since the elevator is taking too long u decide to go down the stairs where,,,,you hear voices echoing as you get closer to the floor ur supposed to meet minhyun on

and???? they sound familiar,,,,,one is obviously dongho’s,,,,,and the other???? minhyun?

and u stop your steps,,,listening to their echoing words 

“are you going to ask them? minhyun it’s been two weeks since you decided to say something and you’re still putting it off.”

“,,,,,what if they don’t like me-”

“NO OFFENSE BUT THATS NOT POSSIBLE”

you blink,,,,wondering if you’re hearing another voice,,,,,and it is,,,,this one belongs to another resident. ren

“minhyun, seriously you’re handsome. i dont say that a lot. but ur handsome. very handsome. look at me minhyun does it look like i would lie.”

and finally,,,,the calmest voice of the bunch belong to jr: “you should go for it. i think they like you too.”

and you’re not sure what else they say because the door opens and a couple of nurses rush by you, their footsteps making noise

and in your head you’re wondering,,,,,,who is it that minhyun likes,,,,,,,

but not wanting to get lost in your thoughts you rush down coming out into the dermatology dept and seeing minhyun leaning against the wall near the elevators. 

you pat his shoulder,,making him jump a bit and the both of you breaking into blushing apologizes but then he mumbles that he’s pretty sure something is going on with the vital monitor

and you go inside the room to check it out

and as you’re doing your work,,,,you don’t notice minhyun bite his lip,,,,shy eyes trying to avoid your figure in the center of the room

quietly fidgeting with his name tag pinned to his collar

and when you turn, smile on your face “done! it just got unhooked-”

“are you free,,,,,on sunday?”

minhyun’s sudden question catches you off guard and you’re like w-what?? and he’s like,,,,,,,, “i-,,,,i have a shift,,,,but i can- it ends at 8 so i could take u to dinner,,,,,maybe,,,,,-”

minhyun,,,,with all his pretty features and polite personality cannot seem to stutter out a date invitation 

but,,,,you also cant believe ur ears???? the person minhyun liked?????was you???

and you’re like “d-don’t you not have many free days? you should rest-”

“it’s ok! i want to,,,,,spend it with you.”

there’s something of a shy smile on his face,,,,but his eyes are nervous and you’re always feeling your palms sweat

because god u really want to say yes,,,,the happiness in your stomach is turning to butterflies,,,,,but you also know that minhyun should rest

so you go “ok,,,,,but how about we do something simple,,,,like watch a movie at my place?”

and minhyun almost turns cherry red at the mention of coming over and he refuses,,,,,saying it’d be un-gentlemen-y of him but ur just like pleassse it’s fine

safe to say you guys do have that date at your place but you purposly pick a boring movie so minhyun falls asleep fifteen minutes in and you let the tired med student sleep soundly on your shoulder as you do your own thing

and ofc when he wakes up minhyun is a mess of “im sorrys” and “im not a creep i promise” but u just laugh and tell him it’s ok,,,,,it was a perfect first date because u were able to see him rest

which honestly just makes minhyun’s heart flutter even more about you,,,,,on the way home he texts ren and is like “i think they’re an angel,,,,,,,”

dating med student!minhyun is slow at first because he’s surprisingly shy about pda or skinship,,,,,to the point where when he first holds ur hand he has to let go 5 minutes later and be like “its not that i dont want to,,,its just,,,,,my hand got sweat and i didnt want u to think thats gross-” and u had to grab his hand back and be like idc if its sweaty i want to hold it forever, minhyun once he gets more comfortable has a habit for always dusting off your uniform or tucking strands of your hair back because he thinks u look cute when ur all neat and whatnot, tbh dongho and jr tell minhyun it might be a lil weird but u like it,,,its minhyun’s personality so u accept it, since he works super long hours u dont really get to see each other often but minhyun really likes it when u text him what ur doing after work esp if u include pictures, at first he’d just be like oh! cool :D or looks yummy! but as you two get closer he’ll kinda be a little sappy saying things like even your silhouette is pretty or i wish i could be beside you right now, a constant struggle is showing people photos of you and minhyun together looking cute in the hospital lobby doing peace signs and ur like that’s my boyfriend! and people are like no no no thats a celebrity honey and ur like,,,no,,,,,no he’s my bf,,,,,,,basically people r just really shocked because minhyun’s visuals are no joke, whenever someone confesses to minhyun whether it’s a patient or a staff he gets all embarrassed but also secretly reaLLY likes saying he has a significant other that he is head over heels for, ren makes fun of him so much for it he imitates his voice and calls out ur name and is like head !!! oveR HEELs~~~!! and minhyun is like pLEASE and ren is just kiss kiss love love u two are sooooo corny, on an anniversary minhyun had work but he sent you a video of him playing on the piano and singing your favorite love song and it legitimately made you tear up, does this thing where when he gets really really tired he’ll never admit it but one kiss from you makes it feel like he can take on the WORLD, an exchange resident named aaron comes to visit and minhyun introduces you to him and is like he’s my bff and aaron is just like “so what base have you and minhyun reac-oK FINE I WONT ASK”, those rare times where residents get more than a day off minhyun always insists on doing the absolute most for you and sometimes you have to literally argue with him to let you do something because he works so hard you want to support him and make it easy, you cooked for him once and you can’t tell if him telling you he LOVED it was fake or real,,,,,,,you guys got matching sweaters from the nu’est boys as a gift and they’re bright pink and corny and minhyun refuses to wear them until you giggled and put it on and minhyun melts for anything you do so he was like ok FINE, surprised you once by pulling you into a storage closet at the hospital and letting a hand slip up your shirt and you were like minhyun?? ?against his neck and he,,,,,couldn’t keep it up you felt his cheeks go hot and he was a stuttering mess like ten minutes in but he was also like i just,,,i really wanted you i dont know what came over me ,,,,,WHAT A FREAKING CUTIE AMIRIGHT THO,,,,promises that once he is done with residency he’s going to get a good job and take you on vacation for never leaving his side through the hardest years of his life and you just kiss his nose and tell him not to worry about it,,,,,but seriously the only thing on minhyun’s mind sometimes (which he finds fascinating) is how much he really rEALLY wants to make you happy,,,,,,,,,,he wants a future,,,,with you 

find others here: ong seongwoo | kang daniel | lee daehwi

[roseamongroses]

Antithesis: Dear Diary: why?

[Specific-Summary]:  They should expect growing pains. For not everything to feel right or make sense. That doesn't mean it'll always hurt, nor does it mean they can't have fun along the way. It's senior year. Everything may be different. It won't be senior year for long. Everything will be okay.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing , Self Hate,implied pregnancy talk/inability to become pregnant, adults arguing where the “kid” can hear it, adults drinking, 

[Tags/mood:] highschool au,  fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana) Remus “The Duke” Sanders (minor/brief)

(Ao3) (Previously)

(8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)

(16) (17)

(Note: Please check the general warnings and character list before continuing since some changes have been made and I don’t want to throw you off later on) 

Roman slung the scarf across his shoulders, “You think I should pack this?” he said, striking a pose, “You think it’s gonna be too hot for summer or?”

“You do look good in red...” Dmitri glanced up from his laptop, still typing, “And it’s better than your fifteen--separately bought-- white jeans.”

Roman flung a trench coat at his face. “Glass-fuckin houses babe, half your closet is black and boring--plus I like the white, ” he protested, “And don’t you think the red will be a bit too much with my hair?” he untucked his curls from underneath the scarf, smoothing the sides.

Dmitri laughed, “You’re the definition of a bit too much, Ro,” he said, “But if it means anything the reds been fading for a while now,”

“Wait really?” Roman picked up a hand mirror, angling it with a frown, “Dammit,” he said, “Virgil might still have some bleach left over, but I don’t want to kill my curl pattern like he did…”

“Then don’t redye it,” Dmitri shrugged, “You’ll look good regardless.”

Roman fluffed his hair, pouting in the mirror, “How good?”

Dmitri rolled his eyes, “Fishing early I see,” he said, pausing his typing to take a better look, “The red hair nice, but the brown will soften your features since there ’ll be less contrast.”

“I’dunno if I want to ‘soften my features though...It’d look cute, but...maybe if I cut my hair?” Roman tugged the scarf off, “.…people would take me more seriously.”

“Now why would you…” Dmitri paused, setting his laptop aside nodding, “Come over here, let me take a closer look.”

Roman eyed him warily.

“C’mon now, I’ve been dating you for what? A little over a year, Have a little faith,” Dmitri defended, “I’m not a snake tricking you into sinning,”

Roman crossed his arms, eyeing him up and down, “You’ve done it before--remember?”

“Oh that was fun and you know it, now c’ mere,” He offered a hand.

“It was,” Roman sighed, relenting and taking his hand. Dmitri tugged him to his knees, Roman making panicked noises as they bumped foreheads and he used Dmitri’s shoulders to steady himself, “Close enough?”

Dmitri tilted his head, “A bit closer.”

“Closer?” Roman’s lips barely brushed his.

“There we go--would you look at that,” Dmitri murmured, “A handsome prince if I’ve ever seen one…” Roman’s expression softened and Dmitri continued, “Whoever you’re trying to impress would be stupid not to take you seriously, especially with your anal work ethic--mmph,” Dmitri’s hands flew to Roman’s waist only slightly caught off guard as Roman closed the distance. The sloppy kiss eventually dissolved into Roman peppering Dmitri’s face between giggles.

“Either you’re rewarding me or you’re trying to distract...” Dmitri’s joke died off, eyes fluttering as Roman’s attention dipped lower, trailing his jaw, “Oh that’s...that’s nice…Your brother out?”

“Mhm,” Roman hummed contemplatively, before pulling back a bit, “ Yeah he is, but...I dunno I’m not really in the mood for that…Sorry..”

“You don’t need to apologize every time you know?” Dmitri leaned into Roman’s chest, feeling Roman’s hands nestle into his hair.

“It’s just so...weird.” He could hear the frown in Roman’s voice, “Is it weird? I’m going to be gone for a while too…Am I being a bad boyfriend?”

“You’re not weird, it's normal.”

“But--” Roman’s voice was quiet, “--- it’s not like you’re not attractive-- but--I dunno-- sometimes actually doing stuff like that is just...ugh I can’t even describe it.”

“The other guys might be horny bastards 24/7, but it’s perfectly normal for you Roman.” Dmitri said, “If you want to kiss we can kiss if you want to cuddle and talk we can do that too.”

“Talk’n’cuddle,” Roman mumbled and Dmitri smiled.

“So how are you feeling about the trip?”

“Oh, I’m absolutely horrified--” Roman easily spun into a rant,” I have to be holed up in that infested dung heap with that odorous rat with only my beautiful tia’s cooking as solace?” He sniffed appalled.

“Huh,” Dmitri snickered, “I’ve never heard that nickname for Virgil.”

“I’m not...talking about Virgil.”

---

R: XXX.notalink/rated:m/dontclickfortheloveofgod/dJDoJi90

Rem: WHAT THE FUCK ROMAN Rem: WHY WOULD YOU SEND THAT

L: Why the hell didn’t you read the link first

Rem: WHO THE FUCK READS Rem: GOD NEVER AGAIN

L: I highly doubt it's that bad

L:....I stand corrected

Rem: you clicked the link too didn’t you

L: In the name of science of course

Rem: ROMAN WHY DID YOU SEND THAT

R: ;)

Rem: EXPLAIN YOURSELF

R: ;) XXXX.notalink/rated:m/oopsididitagain/dskfJjfd9dsf3gds

L: That one is more weird than disgusting

Rem: WHY DO YOU KEEP CLICKING ON THEM

L: Why is Roman still sending them?

V: as much as i like smearing my brothers good name that isn’t roman

V: [Roman conked out on the couch, in a sweatshirt and shorts, drool pooling. Jpeg]

Rem: cute photo, 10/10 L: Agreed.

V: god both of you fuckin s t op i t s t o p s t o p

R: XXXX.notalink/rated:m/you filthylinkreaders/d3gds789jk

Rem: just bc you have issues with compliments doesn't mean roman does

L:Here we go again I guess...

V; roman doesnt have any fuckin boundaries

Rem: yes, yes he does Rem: they may be thin but he Does have them

V:sorry but he’s way too nice about it

Rem: weve more then established that me calling him cute is okay and i require the sustenance of doting on him okay? Like i get it ive pushed a bit too hard before but like im trying ok???

V: k k I i hit the breaks a bit too soon this 1 time but it’s ducking thin ass ice and I’m not above sending y’all to an icy tomb if you get gross. Roman may be a bastard but he’s still baby

L:Translation: He understands your reasoning and agrees he overreacted, but this won’t stop him from questioning our intents and calling out certain actions. Roman may be okay with joking around with stuff like that and being the center of attenuation, but he’s still self conscious and sensitive.

V:why must you add feelings and adult reasoning to everything

L: How dare you accuse me of having feelings

R: XXXX.notalink/rated:m/unicornhornsanddragontails/3nskjJ03 R: XXXX.notalink/rated:m/specA-Z/54Kjjf9n R: XXXX.notalink/rated:m/asliceofme/fljkl29mfJ

R: XXXX.notalink/rated:m/laughsinspanish/5Kjd8

Rem:ye feelings are gross so moving on

Rem: anyway who the fuck is this

V: the bastard

R: you can call me duke [video of Roman, Virgil, and Remus as toddlers, Virgil playing with blocks and listening to some music while in the background Remus follows Roman around.mp3] [image of Roman, Virgil, and Remus currently. jpeg]

V: the bastards name is remus

R: THE. DUKE.

V: FUCK. YOU.

Rem: why the shits have i never met them and why the FUCK does he look more like roman then you do virgil

V: i think it's bc rem doesnt cover up his freckles

V: but yeah my mom and tia had a falling out

R: more like my dad was an asshole

Rem: oh shit same

R: shitty dad squad hmu ;)

Pat: oh hey!!! Me too!!!!

V: yeah it was Not Fun and mom and mama refused to let us go back until tia got a divorce

R: XXXX.notalink/rated:m/deodarant/298jksf

R:XXXX.notalink/rated:m/sPicydeodarant/23kjfJ

L: Are you done yet? They’re getting repetitive at this point.

---

Sun beating on his forehead, Dmitri’s chest was light and airy. His hair was tied up in a high ponytail as he worked on repotting some of his nursery plants. Usually, he’d be listening to music, but his aunt had left early that morning for some appointment so he relished the silence.

Brushing the dirt from his hands, he winced at the fresh cuts lining his knuckles.

“You’re still out here?”

Dmitri almost jumped at Dr. Montag’s voice, “Sorry for the mess” he said, gripping the nursery pot tighter, “I-I’ll clean it up right away…”

Dr. Montag crouched, waving him off, “There’s no need. I’m running a few errands for your aunt,” his hands barely brushing the leaves of one, “This is a Yucca right?”

“Uh,” Dmitri blinked, “Yeah it is,”

He laughed, “Don’t look so surprised-- I know things,” he stood back up, “Like how to use google. It’s rather impressive that y’all manage to keep up with so many of these.”

“Barely,” Dmitri relaxed, refocusing, “We used to have a lot more, but without my dad...it got overwhelming,” he shook his head, “It’s the only thing we really….It keeps us busy..”

“This is more than busy--you put a lot of work into these, anyone should be proud,” He murmured, studying Dmitri again, “I’ll be gone in a few, just need to grab her purse. You need anything from the store?”

“Uh...No,” Dmitri frowned, “I don’t.”

---

LilRed: COLLEGE BOARD CAN SUCK MY ASS LilRed: THIS BITCH GOT A FIVE

BlueRanger: Which class?

LilRed: APUSH

BlueRanger: Nice, good job

LilRed:

LilRed:

PurpleRain: L you fuckin broke him

PurpleRain:like I legit just heard a fuckin thud I think he fell

BlueRanger: I just told him good job?

LilRed: i die from validation i die w/o validation

BlueRanger: Please don’t die

PurpleRain: thats a lame ass way to die

LilRed: @purplebitch i feel so loved

PurpleRain: mama didnt raise us for us to die so b o r i n g l y

LilRed: SO HOW DO YOU SUGGEST I DIE

PurpleRain: idk im feelin,,,,rain,,,,,lots of it,,, maybe you’re watching the sea,,,,

PurpleRain: okay I got it

PurpleRain: you’re wearing a white sundress, the ends tattered but well loved. The coast empty with nly the lapping of waves your company. You’re thinking, a lot. Not of anything particular, but thinking nonetheless. The ocean always makes you think, always makes you remember--bringing about a bittersweet tinge of remorse to your heart, but no tears ever fall.

PurpleRain:You make it a habbit to watch the sunrise each day, relishing in the sobering feelings it invokes Maybe you're a masochist at heart

LilRed:maybe it’s maybelline

PurpleRain:I AM HAVING A MOMENT PRINCEY

PurpleRain: one day, you hear footsteps approach, and assume it's your lover returned from war. The news of it's end just coming days prior and making your ventures to the coast sparked with an unfamilar hopefulness.

PurpleRain: instead when you turn around, you do not feel your heart soar. Instead it sinks. An icy panic spreading through you, a curl of dread closing your throat, it's grip tight. You need to move; to get away from them. But you cant. You cant.

PurpleRain: one shot is all it took.

PurpleRain: one.

BlueRanger:....Concern.

PurpleRain: dnd just started again im prepping ok

LilRed:fuckin nerd

LilRed: huh…. i should get a sundress tho

PurpleRain: i have a few bookmarked ill show you later

BlueRanger: Is That Really What Y’all Are Taking Away From This

---

“And so the shop explodes-no not explodes it's in flames and they have the audacity--the au,” Roman coughs readjusting the webcam, “They have the audacity to play ‘Somebody to love’ as he’s fuckin mourning,” he gestured angrily, “Like Neil might as well come into my house and stomp on my heart.”

Dmitri nodded along, amused at the combination of camera lag and Roman’s erratic movements, “Before or after you watch the next episode?” he asked.

“It’s gonna have to be after cause I already finished the season. I never recovered from that scene though, ” Roman shrugged, tapping his jaw thoughtfully, “Probably should’ve started working on my commission sheet,”

“The same sheet you said you were going to start last month?”

“Yes the same one,” Roman blew out an exasperated huff, flopping into his hands, “I don’t know why it’s so hard --I feel scummy for pricing ‘too high’ and like shit for pricing ‘too lo--,” A notification rang, and he glanced over the screen, eyebrow raised, “Huh, Lo’s callin’ to video chat, you mind if I add’em?”

“Nah, go ahead,” Dmitri said, starting to fold the pile of towels.

“Alrighty,” He answered the call, “What’s up ner-” his face lit up, “Princess!”

Giggles erupted from the screen and Dmitri glanced up curious. On the screen instead of Logan was a small girl animatedly talking to Roman. She had two front teeth missing, glitter coloring her cheeks and rainbow beads rattling each time her braids moved.

“Woah, Woah-Woah,” Roman snorted, “Slow down hon, where’s your brother? Does he know you’re using his computer?”

“He’s in the shower,” she said, batting her eyes, “And know is a very strong word, but I can assure you he’s...aware?”

“Mmm, I won’t tell if you don’t,” he said, “So what’s the fairest of the land need?”

She beamed, “You at my birthday party.” she said, more of a command than anything.

Roman made of show of mulling it over, unable to keep a straight face, “I think I can make it.”

Her fist punched the air, “Ya--”

“Nieve,” Logan’s voice called out sternly.

Her eyes shot wide and she scrambled out of frame. Seconds later, Logan reappeared in the frame without his glasses, towel tucked to his chest. He didn’t look particularly mad.

He squinted blearily at the screen, “Roman? “ his gaze slid over, “Dmitri? Shit sorry did she bug you?”

“Not at all,” Roman reassured, “It’s been a while since I came over anyway,”

Logan grabbed their glasses, adjusting the frames, “Yeah...I guess it has...Since you’re here did you get that email from the school?”

“Yeah, it’s bullshit, “ Roman said, rolling his eyes, “If the state cared they would have found the funds somewhere else, it’s all shady as fuck. ”

Logan nodded, saying goodnight before disconnecting.

As soon as his icon disappeared, Roman said, “Huh, that...reminded me,”

Dmitri started on the next pile of laundry, “Of what?” he said, brow pinched, concerned.

“I’ dunno something Remy brought up…” Roman said, playing with his hands, “It’s stupid really but---”

He yelped falling to the floor, Remus victoriously sliding into the rolling chair. He spun wildly, the web camera a laggy blur, with only loud obnoxious kissing noises heard amongst the screaming.

Eventually, Remus slowed down, and it was jarring how much he and Roman looked alike. It was more unnerving seeing such a sleazy look with Roman’s face.

“Oh Dmitri,” Remus mocked, even adopting the heavy accent Roman usually placed on his name, “Embrace me with those big, long artist hands of yours, god I’m going to melt--"

“Shut up--shut up! You Rat-- give it back-give it back--” Roman whined, clambering over the chair, elbowing him, “Give it back, fuckin- MOM,” At one point Roman managed to wrestle the laptop from Remus, kicking him out of the chair and sending him off with a finger-- which Remus promptly returned.

Dmitri’s silently wheezed as Roman turned around visibly frazzled, “God I forgot what I was say-Are you laughing at me?” he said, “Stop it--stop laughing it’s not--”

“It-” Dmitri’s covered his mouth, shoulders shaking “It kinda is,” He said between snorts, only laughing harder at the offended noises Roman made.

As his snickers died down, Roman crossed his arms, “You done yet?” he sniffed.

“Yeah…” he gasped, “Yea...h... I am…” he blinked a bit, a slow smile spreading across his face, “So... what’s this about my hands?”

Roman’s eyes shot wide, incoherent babbling coming from his mouth as his ears turned a bright cherry. He slowly shrank out of frame to promptly die.

---

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

[hannahindie]

Ladies’ Night

Characters: Reader, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Sam Winchester (briefly), Dean Winchester (briefly) Word Count: 5,266 (I’d say I was sorry, but I’m not. Don’t live your life with regrets, ya’ll) Warnings: A lot of snark. I would wager this is probably the sassiest reader I’ve written, which is actually kind of impressive. Garth being ridiculous, Dean being whiny, mention of Sam pouts, a good bit of violence, the gross misuse of a fire extinguisher, the wearing of high heels when it’s absolutely unnecessary, and waffles. A/N: I wrote this fic for my dear, sweet water bear’s 500 follower challenge. Congratulations, @trexrambling, you majestic sea turtle. You deserve every one of those followers and more! The situation I was given was that I would be hunting a vetala with Garth, using a fire extinguisher. I hope that I did that combination justice. As usual, my beautiful panda that I like be so much, @pinknerdpanda, was kind enough to beta this for me, so thanks to her. If you see any mistakes, it’s totally me. My old eyes ain’t what they used to be. As usual, the tags are at the bottom! If you find yourself missing or would like to be added, please shoot me an ask or a message. Feedback is always welcome!

If you like what you see here and would like to take a gander at more, my Master List is here!

I stood over the partially frozen remains of the vetala I had just stabbed, breathing heavily and with hair that had escaped my ponytail in my face. I looked slowly from the vetala to Garth, who was standing on the other side of it, still holding the fire extinguisher and grinning at me sheepishly. “Seriously, dude? Seriously?”

He raised his eyebrows and shrugged, “I thought it was worth a shot. And hey look, it worked!”

I rolled my eyes, “Yea, perfect. Thanks for that.” I looked back down at the vetala, cold fog still rolling off her body, and sighed. Sam and Dean owed me. Big time.

Earlier that day...

“Sergeant Angel speaking, what can I help ya with? Mmhmm, yes, I did send my guys there. Murray and Akroyd? Yep…No, no relation to the actors to my knowledge. Yep, give ‘em everything you've got. Great, thanks. You too, bye.” I hung up the phone and went back to making my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. With Bobby gone, it had fallen to me and a couple of others to man the phones and help out when we could, and today it was my turn to lie my ass off. On occasion I wondered how many federal laws I was breaking on the almost daily, but then decided it was best to just forget about it.

I had spent most of my morning fielding calls from local police, coroners, you name it, they called me. I sat down in the living room with my sandwich and flipped on the television just in time for my favorite show. “Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!” Nothing like a little bit of trash television to help forget about the actual trash in my life. Just as I took a giant bite out of my sandwich, my cell rang. This meant that someone that actually knew me was calling, and that usually wasn’t a good sign either. I could probably count on one hand how many times people called me to just shoot the shit. I sighed and reluctantly swiped right to answer it, “This had better be good, I’m in the middle of Jerry Springer and a damn delicious sandwich.”

“Y/N! Hey, it’s Dean.” I groaned inwardly. Definitely not good. If the Winchesters were calling, it was sure to be a pain in my ass.

“Winchester, the answer is no.” I could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

“I didn’t even ask you anything yet!”

I took another bite of sandwich, “You didn’t have to. If you or Sam are calling, it only means a bad time,” I mumbled around the delicious peanut butter and organic jelly concoction currently assaulting my taste buds in the best way. Sam was smart, but the best thing he ever told me to try was organic jelly. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

“Why do you have to be such an ass all the time-” I heard a rustling then another voice came on the line.

“Y/N, it’s Sam.” I smiled. Truthfully, I kind of adored both of the Winchesters, but Sam...Sammy was my favorite. Although I have to admit, angry bantering with Dean got the blood flowing, that’s for sure.

“Hey, if it isn’t my favorite Winchester. What’s up, Sam?” I heard Dean grumbling in the background and I chuckled to myself, “Tell Dean jealousy doesn’t look good on him.” I heard more grumbling then the sound of the Impala door slamming shut.

Sam laughed, “I think he heard you. Anyway, it’s not us you’d actually be helping this time. Garth is kind of stuck and Dean and I are already on a case. Do you mind giving him a hand? He’s not too far from you.”

I took another bite of sandwich, “Why does Garth need my help? Doesn’t he have like a trunk full of sock puppets he can use to awkward the thing to death?” Garth was a good hunter, I’ll give him that, but the guy was kind of a loon.

Sam laughed again, “Nah, not this time. He’s pretty much got it solved but he can’t draw it out. He needs a female’s touch, apparently.”

“Color me intrigued. What’s he hunting?” I heard some tapping and I could picture Sam typing away at his laptop. There’s nothing more adorable than Sam Winchester in research mode.

“Vetala. Looks like she’s operating out of a bar about...twenty, thirty minutes from you? Not sure why he can’t get her, but he’s striking out hard.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle, “He can’t draw her out because that’s a gay bar, Sam. Garth is trying to put the moves on a lesbian vetala.” I paused to take a sip of my beer, “Put that on the list of things I never thought I’d say.” I finished my sandwich, then took my plate and tossed it in the sink. I leaned against the kitchen counter, “I can help him out. Tell him to give me a couple of hours so I can get the line taken care of and I’ll head that direction.”

“Thanks, Y/N. Let us know if you need anything.”

I grinned, “Aw, Sammy, it gets me all warm and tingly when you worry about me. We’ll be fine, it’s just a couple of vetala. What could possibly go wrong?”

“I guess you’re right. Talk to you later.” He hung up and I dialed the next person on the list for the line to get it covered in my absence. After promising it wouldn’t take too long, I grabbed my go-bag from the closet and headed for my pickup.

In case you were wondering what the answer to my rhetorical question was...everything. Everything ever could possibly go wrong.

“Y/N! You’re here! Sam said you were on the way, thanks for taking the time to come!” Garth threw his arms around me and I stood there stiffly as I awkwardly patted him on the back.

“Hey, Garth. How’s...how’s it going?”

He pulled back and put his hands on his hips, “Well, I’ll tell ya, it’s been better. I’ve dealt with vetala, but these two are just...they’re being a handful, and not very cooperative. Did Sam tell you I was having trouble getting them to come out?”

I snorted, then covered it up with a cough, “Yea, Garth, he sure did. I think I might have an idea. You’re gonna need to sit down, though.”

Garth flopped down into the cheap desk chair and looked at me expectantly, “So what’s the dealio?”

I couldn’t help but smile at the guy. To be honest, he was probably the only hunter I knew that could see what he had seen and still be as happy go lucky as he was. Although it could be annoying on occasion, it was a bright spot in the shit storm I usually had to deal with. Which meant that in this particular instance, I needed to dial back the sass a little bit. “Well, Garth, Sam told me you were trying to get these vetala at a nearby bar, right? Is it called the Pussycat Club?” He nodded enthusiastically, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing, “Did you...umm...did you happen to notice anything while you were in there?”

He shrugged, “A lot of beautiful women, but that’s about it. Why?”

I leaned against the table and crossed my arms, “It’s a gay bar, Garth. That’s why the vetalas aren’t going after you. Apparently they are playing for the other team….although I suppose it could be both teams and they just aren’t interested in you…” The look he gave me was a cross between surprise and hurt, and I sighed. So much for dialing back the sass. “I’m sure that’s not it though! I’ve never given lesbian vetalas much thought, but I mean why not? The supernatural can do what it wants too. Except kill people...because that part isn’t cool.” I was rambling and clearly backpedaling, but Garth smiled at me anyway.

“Lesbian vetalas. Huh. I would have never guessed that. How are we going to do this, Y/N?”

I motioned towards my bag, “Well, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m a woman. And as a woman, I have brought the necessary accessories to have a night out at this Pussycat Club. I just need you to be my backup, okay? I don’t know how long this is going to take, but hopefully we can wrap it up pretty quickly. I have to get back home in a reasonable amount of time. Sound good?”

Garth nodded, “Yep, sounds good to me. I assume, because of where we’re going, I can’t pretend to be your date?”

I rolled my eyes, “Kind of defeats the purpose, buddy. Now, I’m going to get ready. Take inventory, make sure our weapons are accounted for, and then we’ll head out.” I grabbed my bag and headed towards the bathroom. If I was going to get their attention, I was going to have to go all out. It was time to bust out the big guns.

“Garth, stop it,” I hissed.  I didn’t have to look over my shoulder to know that Garth was staring at my ass.

“I wasn’t doing anything! I just...how do you have that silver knife hidden that well? You really can’t see the outline at all-”

I whipped around and glared at him, “Your head would explode if I told you how I did it. Just know that it’s there, and that despite the fact I was planning on using it on a vetala, I will not hesitate to use it on you. Quit. Staring.” Garth took a step back and not so subtly crossed his hands in front of his crotch as if he were nervous. I smirked, proud at my ability to invoke fear with just my words, and checked my makeup in the sideview mirror of my truck one last time. I didn’t often dress up, but I had to admit I cleaned up pretty well. I adjusted the deep neckline of my dress and shook the girls, a little trick my grandmother taught me, and smiled at how great they looked. My grandma knew her shit, the saucy minx. “I’m ready. Now, I have to ask...how awkward did you make it in there? Can you go back inside or is it going to be weird?” Garth scrunched his nose and shrugged, which was enough of an answer. “.....Are you even allowed back in there?”

“It might have been mentioned that I...umm...was no longer welcome in their establishment.”

“Dammit, Garth! How are you supposed to be my backup if you aren’t even allowed to go inside-” My phone ringing interrupted me and I answered it angrily, “What do you want?”

Garth looked at me with wide eyes, “Where did you even have that phone?” he mouthed at me, and I promptly gave him the finger.

“Y/N, it’s Sam. How’s it going?”

“It would be going better if Garth knew how to act around women, gay, straight, or otherwise. Why?”

There was a beat of shocked silence before Sam answered, “Well, we hadn’t heard anything and I was just wondering-”

My patience with every male hunter I knew had come to an end, even precious Sammy. I took a deep breath, “Sam, it hasn’t even been five hours since you called me. I didn’t realize I needed to keep you up to date on my current location, but I have arrived safe and sound. I even found Garth, all on my own! And now, I’m wearing a dress that is incredibly inappropriate to wear in public, and have somehow managed to conceal at least three silver blades on my person so that I can go in there and finish a job that a man couldn’t do. Do you have anything else  you need to ask me, or can I go in there and do my job?”

Garth looked at me with wide eyes and Sam was silent. I almost felt bad for yelling at Sam, but I was already done for the evening, and my night hadn’t even started yet. “Nope, I think...I think we’re good. I guess you can...well, just let me...I’ll just talk to you later. Whenever you feel like it. Bye, Y/N.” Sam hung up and I slipped the phone back where I had hid it earlier, then looked back at Garth.

“Three blades?”

I rolled my eyes, “Shut up, Garth.” I smoothed out my dress and faced the building, “Okay, I’m going in. Keep an eye on your phone, hopefully we can get this taken care of tonight. Do you have any idea at all of who it might be?” Garth shook his head but remained silent, which was probably the smartest thing he could have done. “Great. Well, I’m pretty good at winging it. Just...turn the sound on your phone. I swear to God if I call you and you don’t answer…”

“I got it! Ringer, on!” He held the phone up with a smile. If we made it through this hunt without me murdering him, it would be a miracle.

I turned and briskly walked to the entrance without saying anything else to Garth, smiled at the doorman who was so distracted by my cleavage that he didn’t bother to ask for an ID, and headed straight to the bar. If I was going to do this, I was going to need all the alcohol. I waved down the bartender and asked for the best bourbon they had, then settled onto my stool and turned to watch the floor. Finding a vetala was not easy, even when you know what you’re looking for. It’s not like looking for a wraith where you can see their true self in a mirror, or a shifter where you can see their eyes flash on camera. You have to draw them out, get them to lose their cool for long enough to catch them off guard. If there was anything that Bobby Singer taught me about this life, it was to make damn sure of what you were killing before you killed it.

“What are you having?” I glanced to my right and saw a woman leaning against the bar. She was tall, with long black hair and eyes that were so dark they almost matched her hair. Her plain black tank top and dark leather pants were in stark contrast to her pale skin, and when she smiled, something seemed...off. I tilted my head as I gazed her. She was beautiful, and if I had a hunter’s sense that amounted to anything, she was also dangerous.

I smiled, “Bourbon.” She waved down the bartender, whispered something casually in her ear, then waved her away. When she came back, the bartender sat down an entire bottle of Pappy Van Winkle’s, sat two glasses on the bar, and walked away. I looked at the bottle wide eyed, and reached out to pick it up but then put my hand down. “Is that seriously...is that a bottle of 20 year Pappy Van Winkle?” I grimaced at how awkward I sounded, but they’d just sat down a $170 bottle of bourbon, and my brain couldn’t deal with it.

“It is.” She reached out and grabbed the bottle, twisted the cap, then poured a shot each and pushed one of the glasses towards me. “You know your bourbon.”

I carefully picked up the glass and swirled the contents gently, “I know some.” I took a sip and closed my eyes as it burned all the way down. Bobby would haunt me for the rest of my days if I didn’t savor this moment. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes to see the woman staring at me. “This bottle was definitely not on the shelf when I ordered earlier. How did you do that?”

The woman smiled, “I own the place. We don’t have a legit VIP section, but I like to treat the customers that intrigue me.”  

I laughed, “Intrigues you, huh? You haven’t even really talked to me yet, I could be the most unremarkable person you meet today.”

Her eyes shifted slowly from my face down to where my legs were crossed, then back up, “I highly doubt that.” I was right; vetala or not, this woman was dangerous.

I took another sip of bourbon, “Hmm. So you own this place, huh? Funny, I don’t remember seeing you in here before.”

“I just recently acquired it. The previous owner...well, they decided it would be best to sell the business. So,” she spread her hands out, “here we are. Speaking of not being seen before...I don’t recall seeing you either. I think I would remember you.”

I smiled my most charming smile, “I can blend in when I want. I don’t always want to be seen.” She moved closer to me and I realized that if I was ever going to find out if this was the vetala, I would have to make my move and quickly. I put my hand on her arm, “Is there somewhere we can go that’s a little more private? I’d like to get to know you better…” I raised an eyebrow and drew my bottom lip between my teeth. It had the desired effect; as soon as I did it, the woman’s eyes flashed blue. If I hadn’t been looking for it, I would have missed it. Bingo.

“Moira. My name is Moira.” She glanced at her watch, “I have a private office in the back, and the bar closes in about fifteen minutes. Why don’t we head back there, and then I’ll give you a ...private tour?”

I nodded, “That would be perfect.” We stood and began our walk to the back of the building. I jumped when I felt her hand slip from my lower back to my ass. She looked at me from the corner of her eye and smirked. She was good, and if I had been anyone else, I probably would have fallen for it. We came to a locked door and she opened it, motioning for me to go in first. I sat on the edge of the desk and leaned backwards as I looked around the room, “Seems like this is a pretty good gig. Pappy Van Winkle, nice office, maybe I should go into the bar business.”

Moira laughed, “Yea, well, not everyone is as successful at it. It’s hard work and I’m good at what I do.” She walked up to the desk and shoved herself between my knees.

I raised an eyebrow, “You could at least take a girl out to dinner first.”

Moira ran a thumb across my cheekbone and smiled, “I don’t have to take a girl out to dinner to get what I want. Like I said, I’m good at what I do.”

I leaned in closer and brushed my lips over the shell of her ear, “Unfortunately for you, so am I,” I whispered.

She looked at me sharply and then gasped as the cold silver of my dagger penetrated her heart. Her irises went back to blue before her eyelids slipped shut and I shoved her backwards. She hit the floor with a dull thud, and I retrieved my phone from its hiding place.

“Heyo, Y/N! What’s crackin’?”

“Your skull if you don’t cut it out, you weirdo. I got one of them, but I have no idea who the second one is. There’s always a second one. The bar closes in about ten minutes, so keep an eye out for anyone that looks sketchy when they leave. Once the bar looks empty, sneak inside. I might need you.”

“Okey dokey, artichokey! See you in a few!” I rolled my eyes and hung up. I walked over to the door and opened it slowly. The hallway was too long for me to get a good look at what the club’s floor looked like, so I shut the door and stood over Moira’s body. I needed to hide her until we could take care of the second vetala. I dragged her behind the desk and wiped my hands on my dress. There was a reason I wore a black dress tonight.

The sound of my phone ringing interrupted my thoughts, “Hello?”

“Hey, Y/N. It’s Dean.”

I sighed, “I am in the middle of taking care of this. What do you want?”

“Oh, nothing, just wanted to check in. Sam’s been pouting since you yelled at him, wanted to make sure you weren’t too stressed. You don’t usually yell at Sammy. Me, all the time. Sammy, not so much.”

“Yea, and I’m about to yell at you some more. Listen, I’ve already got one vetala, but I still have to find the other one and it’s going to be a miracle if I take care of it without flashing everything God gave me. I am tired, and annoyed, and you literally have the worst timing. I will call you when I’m finished, okay? Great.” I heard him start to protest, but I hung up before I had to listen to it. I looked at the clock; the club was closed and should have started to empty. I slipped out of the office and down the hallway back into the main room. Although the lights were still off, most of the room was empty except for the bartender who looked up at the sound of my footsteps.

“What are you still doing in here?”

I walked up to the bar and sat down, “Moira was going to show me around the place but she disappeared. You haven’t seen her, have you?”

The girl shook her head, “Nah, not since she took you to the back. I’m surprised she left you though, not really her style. She likes to show her favorite guests a good time.”

I shrugged, “Hmm...maybe she changed her mind about me. Maybe I really am unremarkable.” I pouted and looked up at the bartender through my eyelashes. She was staring at me and I tilted my head. “What do you think? Do you think I’m unremarkable?”

She walked around the end of the bar and leaned against the worn wood, “Well, I don’t know you very well, but judging by what you’re wearing...you’re too ballsy to be too unremarkable.”

I laughed, “Hmm...maybe you’re right. What’s your name?”

“Lacey, what’s yours?”

“Y/N.” I leaned forward and watched her eyes move from my face down to my chest.

“Yea...definitely not unremarkable.” She looked back up and smiled, “Do you want to get out of here? Moira will probably kill me, but finders keepers, am I right?”

I bit my lip, “You certainly have a way with words, Lacey.” I moved closer and pressed myself against her, “A confident woman gets me all kinds of riled up, and here you are just taking what you want, your boss be damned. It’s...it’s pretty hot.” I started to reach for her, but she pulled back suddenly and I nearly fell off my stool. “What’s wrong?”

“Is that...is that blood on your arm?”

I looked at her with wide eyes, “What do you mean, blood? Why would I have blood on my arm?” I glanced down to where her eyes rested and lo and behold...blood. I must have gotten it when I dragged Moira behind the desk. I sighed, “Dammit.”

“Moira didn’t leave, did she?” I looked up to see Lacey’s eyes were an ice blue and that she’d magically grown a new set of teeth.

“No, Lacey, she didn’t. I mean, not physically. Spiritually though, she’s in the great in between, Purgatory, the place where monsters go when they die.” I hopped down from the stool and slipped out one of the silver blades.

Lacey looked at me in surprise, “Where the hell did that come from?”

I grinned, “Your head would explode if I told you. Now, are you going to make this easy for me, or are you gonna-” Lacey lashed out before I could finish and knocked the blade from my hand as she pushed me backwards. Nobody really tells you the cons of wearing heels to a hunt. I guess it’s because they assume a hunter wouldn’t be dumb enough to do that, and normally I would agree with that sentiment. It just hadn't really occurred to me until my ass hit the ground, hard.

“-make this difficult.” I managed to groan out. Lacey came at me, and I pulled out another blade.

“Seriously, where the hell are you keeping those?”

I kicked my heels off and jumped up, “A girl doesn’t reveal her secrets.” We circled each other and I vaguely wondered where Garth was. I had to admit, I’d been lucky with Moira. I should have known the second one wouldn’t be as easy. And here I thought Moira was the one I should be worried about. I charged at Lacey, hoping to knock her off balance, but she was faster and managed to grab me and throw me into the bar. I hit the wood hard and slid down into the floor again. “Jesus, you aren’t fooling around, are you? You mad that I killed your girlfriend? Or are you mad because she liked me better than you? I feel like there’s a lot of pent up aggression here, Lacey. Maybe you just need to talk about it.” She dove at me and I managed to roll out of the way, slicing her across the arm with my knife.

She shrieked as she clutched at her burning flesh, “She didn’t like any of those girls more than me! It was how we fed, nothing more.”

I laughed, “Sure, sweetie, keep telling yourself that. Because I’m here to tell you, I think she wanted a piece of ass as much as she wanted a free meal.” I winked at her and she screamed as she charged me again. I moved, but not quite fast enough, and she managed to hip check me into a table. The blade I was holding flew out of my hand as the table flipped over and I went over the side of it. “Son of a bitch!” I rolled across the floor and onto my feet, my chest heaving, and glared at Lacey, “Listen, I wasn’t even supposed to be here. This was supposed to be easy, and you’re starting to piss me off. Just let it happen, dude. You know how this is going to end. I killed your partner, I’m gonna kill you. I’m getting too old for this shit, just stand still!”

Lacey rolled her eyes, “Yea, like I’m just going to let you kill me. I’m not suicidal, and news flash! Vetalas might hunt in pairs, but it’s not like we mate for life. I’ll just find someone else. I was getting bored with Moira anyway.” She grinned, “You don’t even have any more knives. There is no way you’ve got anymore hidden under that poor excuse of a dress.” She walked towards me slowly and I looked around for something to at least beat her with. I was in the mood for some ass kicking, and Garth leaving me hanging was not helping.

“You’d be surprised what I could hide in this dress. Too bad you’ll be too dead for me to teach you.” She ran at me again and I grabbed her by the hair. “Seriously? Not gonna let up are you?” She punched me in the ribs and I managed to land one across her cheekbone as I yanked her head back by the hair. As we grappled, I noticed movement behind Lacey. She realized I was distracted and kneed me in the stomach. I fell to the floor, the air knocked out of me, and she stood over me as if to gloat.

“I’m not gonna let up. I’m gonna be the one that walks out of here. Sorry, but it’s every woman for herself.” She grabbed me by my ponytail and hauled me up and out of the floor, “I’ll make it quick, alright? I like your tenacity. I’ll just snap your neck and it’ll be lights out, sound good?”

“Sure. Sounds like a plan...except I think maybe you took too long monologuing. You should probably make sure of your surroundings before you go off on a rambling tangent.”

“What?” I nodded over her shoulder and she turned to look. Just as she did, Garth pulled the trigger on the fire extinguisher he’d found and nailed her in the face with it. It gave me just enough time to pull out my last blade, plunge it into her heart, and twist. I let go of her and she dropped to the floor. I stood over the partially frozen remains of the vetala I had just stabbed, breathing heavily and with hair that had escaped my ponytail in my face.

I looked slowly from Lacey to Garth, who was standing on the other side of her, still holding the fire extinguisher and grinning at me sheepishly. “Seriously, dude? Seriously?”

He raised his eyebrows and shrugged, “I thought it was worth a shot. And hey look, it worked!”

I rolled my eyes, “Yea, perfect. Thanks for that.” I looked back down at Lacey, cold fog still rolling off her body, and sighed. Sam and Dean owed me. Big time.

I pulled out my phone, this time allowing Garth to see where I’d stashed it and hid a grin as his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. I scrolled through my contacts, found the one I wanted, and hit dial.

“Hello?”

“Dean, it’s done. Both vetalas are dead and accounted for, no thanks to Garth.”

“Hey, I used the fire extinguisher-”

“Shut up, Garth. Anyway, it’s done. You guys owe me big time.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Any time I have to leave my house and deal with a handsy vetala, it’s not great, okay? Not my ideal date. Speaking of which, you owe me.”

I could practically hear Dean grinning over the phone, “A date, huh? I could arrange that-”

“Not with you, jerk.”

“Aww man, with Sam?” He whined, “He’s not really your favorite, is he? Come on!”

“You can tell Sam he’s on the list, but at this particular moment, no. Get me a date with the red headed friend of yours, and we’re square.”

There was a beat of silence as if Dean was carefully weighing his next words, “Charlie? You want a date...with Charlie?”

“Yep. And tell Sam the next time I’m feeling frisky, he can come pick me up. We’ll….I don’t know, do research, jog, whatever it is that gets his motor running. But for now, the primary objective is that cute little LARPer. Get on that, and like I said...we’re square.”

“But what about-”

“Bye, Dean.” I hung up on him and looked at Garth, who was still looking at me like I’d grown a second head. “Despite your lack of assistance, and a pitiful excuse of helpfulness at that, I find that I wouldn’t mind having some late night waffles with ya, Garth. Fighting makes me hungry, you game?” He nodded slowly. “Good, now come on. You’re driving.” I picked up my shoes and walked out of the building.

Someone else could clean up the mess. There were waffles to be eaten.

Forever Tags: @trexrambling @pinknerdpanda  @wheresthekillswitch @emilywritesaboutdean @arryn-nyxx @emptywithout @escabell @charliebradbury1104 @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @deanssweetheart23 @canadianjelly @super-not-naturall @aubreyreadsstuff @dean-winchesters-baby @melissaj616 @fandomismyspiritanimal @keepcalmandcarryondean @assbutt-still-in-hell @owllover123 @rosie-winchester @amionthetumbler @duubaduu @hiimaprofessionalfangirl @goldenolaf25 @authoressskr @nanie5 @mrssamfuckingwinchester @zincomms @kathaswings @crazynerdandproud

[astral-writings]

Forgetful (part 3)

Word Count: 1,633 Reader Gender: Female I guess idk Warnings: Hospital, reader injuries Love Interest: Pietro Maximoff Note: This might bring a close to the Forgetful series, but idk ‘causeI haven’t written it yet. I’ll write more here once I’ve finished writing this part see you in a jiffy.

It seems I have done a 50/50, but I felt like this was a solid ending.

Tags: @ladywolfdemon @iamvvanda @hownottodie101 @aweways @kkrissy12

|| Part 1 || Part 2 ||

The soft, steady beeping of the heart monitor gave Pietro comfort, yet it sent him into panic all the same. While the heart monitor gave a reassurance that she was still alive for the moment, it didn’t promise that she’d be alive in the future. So, here he sat for the past two weeks, sitting by her bedside. The only time he’d leave is when he’d need to use the restroom. He’d only eat when forced; which meant Wanda all but shoving food down his throat whenever she came to visit.

The rest of the team came to visit when they could, and while they worried for her, they also worried for Pietro. There were many mixed emotions going around the team; some blamed him, others felt bad. Tony was a main party in those that blamed Pietro, and he made sure to let Pietro know whenever he was in the vicinity. Bucky was on the fence on how to feel about Pietro, Bucky was more concerned about her well being than anything else. Steve was similar, but still harbored feelings of blame on Pietro.

Nat was beyond pissed at the both of them, but her anger for the figure in the hospital bed was matched by her endless worry. Clint would bring her cards every day, and they got a little more ridiculous as the days passed. Bruce was still missing, but he had sent her favourite flowers and a simple note that said ‘Don’t die, friend’. Thor came back down to check on things a few days ago, and was very distressed when he was told. Needless to say, Pietro got an earful from him.

Even without the entire team letting him know exactly how they felt, he was still in daily panic. Even more so than usual, there’s been 3 near-deaths in time she’s been here. Pietro completely blames himself for everything, and the weight of guilt keeps him from moving from his chair. Guilt and love, that’s what keeps him here. Some time ago he came to the conclusion that her being in the hospital is some twisted way of making him pay for what he did. That’s why he never argues when Tony goes off on him.

Between him losing himself in his guilt-ridden thoughts, and him crying his eyes out, he talks to her. The topic will vary occasionally, but it mainly stays with him either apologizing, making promises, begging for her to come back, or vocalizing memories. Right now he had his head in her blanketed lap, his hand in hers. They had, at one point, her hooked up to a breathing machine when she had first got here. To say that she had sustained severe injuries would be an understatement.

The doctor himself even said that it was a miracle that she was even still alive right now. There was injury to her organs, hips, ribs, neck, arms, and one of her legs. There was also a large portion of skin damaged on her back, and it’d still be a bit longer before that healed.  Her neck was almost fully healed, as well as her arm. Today Tony was in the room along with Pietro, which had become a norm. Tony was with her almost as much as he was, the difference being that Tony wasn’t the one that put her in here.

“You did this, you know.” Tony said, beginning to start another argument.

“I am well aware.” Pietro clarified for the millionth time.

“Great, because I’m here to remind you. Think of me as you own personal alarm clock.” Tony said.

“Will do.” Pietro said with a sigh.

“Not like you have much of a choice here, anyway.” Tony said matter-of-factly.

“I realize this, Tony.” Pietro spoke, closing his eyes in frustration.

“You better, because she’s going to go off like a firecracker when she wakes up,” Tony continued, “Like the Fourth of July of doom.”

“Looking forward to it.” Pietro spoke, a little more passively this time.

“Will you two-ow-shut the-ow- fuck up-ow.” A familiar voice said, clearly irritated. 

“Y/n!” Tony and Pietro said at the same time.

“Wow, can we not talk so loud, I have the world’s biggest headache.” Y/n said as Tony went to notify a nurse.

God, I’m gone for two seconds, and they’re already at each others throats. They’re both secretly children, I’m almost positive. Wait, why the fuck am I in this room? This is not my bedroom. This is not the Tower. This is not anywhere that I’m familiar, it’s too fucking white and bright to be any room that I’d ever go in. I looked down, now noticing that I had on a hospital gown on instead of my normal clothes.

I looked up, glaring at the person closest to me (and the only person in the room), Pietro. He, surprisingly, looked like the worst thing in the world. He had clearly not been sleeping properly, to say the least. His eyes were red, like he had just been crying. He was also holding one of my hands. another thing that I just noticed. I would’ve snatched it away, but the sight of a needle in my arm caught my attention instead.

“Don’t even think about it,” Pietro said immediately, covering the IV with his hand, “It’s suppossed to help you.”

“Oh yeah, sure, just like you helped me?” I questioned harshly, still glaring.

“I’m sorry.” Pietro said and my glare softened a bit.

“Yeah, well, sorry doesn’t get me out of this fucking hospital.” I stated simply.

Tony came back into the room, the doctor following shortly after. The doctor greeted me politely, but I just grumbled in response. I fucking hate hospitals, I want to stab someone. I huffed as the doctor started explaining everything, and small flashbacks of the incident began to pass through my mind. The sound of the glass shattering underneath me. The feeling of the tires rolling over my stomach.

The headlights of the vehicles burning holes into my eyes. My skin tearing on the metal of the vehicles. The sound of sirens that was barely audible to my ears. The sight of pure darkness, consuming me with blinding pain. The gentle, yet distressed, touch of a hand on my cheek. ‘Please, please, stay with me,’ rang through my mind. At the time, I didn’t know who it was, but now that I can think a bit clearer, it was obviously Pietro.

The doctor took his leave, telling me he’d be back soon with test results. Tony then announced that he was going to head to the Tower and tell everyone that I was awake and alive. Silence ensued between Pietro and I, neither of us bothering to say a word. For different reasons, I’m sure. I didn’t know what to say. Part of me wanted to scream, just for everything that’s happened. Another part of me just wanted to be hugged at the realization of me almost dying.

“Listen, I know you probably don’t even want to see me right now, but I’m so sorry, Y/n.” Pietro said.

“Hey-” I began.

“It’s all my fault, I know. If I hadn’t asked you to come and meet me, and if I hadn’t done what I did, you wouldn’t be like this.” Pietro continued, referencing my hospital-ridden state.

“Well-” I began again.

“And I know that me asking for forgiveness is selfish, and probably too soon, but I’m just glad that you’re okay.” Pietro said, and I raised my brows, “I mean, I know you’re not healed yet, but you don’t know how happy it made me to see you awake. You could’ve ended up in a permanent coma, or worse, because of me.” He continued.

“Pietro-”I began.

“I know that this is karma getting back at me for what I did, but can you please forgive me?” Pietro asked again.

Well, if you’d let me talk, you big blue idiot.

“Sorry.” He apologized again.

Whoops, didn’t mean to say that one out loud.

I looked at him for a moment, seriously considering what he had said. He really did look awful, and remorse was very clear on his face. He looked like he’d simply die on the spot if I uttered the opposite. While I was still very angry at him, a small part of me wanted to forgive him. I don’t think we could go back to being a couple, at least not so soon. So, forgiveness at friend status is now up for debate.

I suppose I forgive him for putting me in here, it wasn’t directly his fault. It certainly wasn’t mine either, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay for me to just take it out on him. I sighed deeply, his grip on my hand tightening slightly. Maybe it’d be okay if we were just friends? Like, friends who met on the first day of school and are only talking to one another because they don’t know anybody else. It’s oddly specific, but there we go.

“Fine, but you’re never to speak to me again.” I stated simply.

“O-Oh, okay, that’s fine, I’m just really happy you forgave me.” He started, “I guess I’ll just go then, I’m sorry, I’ll get out of your hair-”

“Pietro, Pietro,” I began frantically, “I was just kidding.”

“Oh,” He sighed deeply, a little relieved.

“I forgive you, but I don’t think we can go back to what we were,” I began, “At least not so quickly, but we can be friends.”

“Thank you, thank you so much.” He said, and it appeared as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulder.

“You’re welcome,” I said, “Now get over here and give me a very platonic hug, reality hit me in the face like 10 minutes ago.”

[astion]

A Giant TOZ Fic Rec List

ive been wanting to make a fic rec list forever and now i finally can!!! i havent read every fic in the fandom obviously so this isnt an exhaustive list, but these are some of my personal favs, many of them well-known and some of them not!! most of these are sormik, but theres a few other ships mixed in

ive linked peoples blogs if i can find them, if not, ive just put a link to their ao3 profile

stranger in a strange land (by Authoress / @kiribakus) - rated t, sormik arranged marriages and fancy mikleos and wingman lailah and rose and really, really honestly good writing (as always), whats not to like?

Method Acting (by Metis_Ink) - rated t, sormik + dezerose I WOULD DIE FOR THIS FIC its one of my absolute favs theres so much pining and tension and a FAKE RELATIONSHIP and amazing writing i was grinning and squealing throughout the entire thing

taking back the crown (by hamnet / @happyprompto)  - rated m, sormik the biggest, best adventure a fic will ever take you on. its the captive prince au you never knew you needed, SUPER easy to get hooked on, features (understandably) asshole-ish mikleo and lovable zaveid. i love zaveid so much in this fic

the color of the wheat fields (by namio / @ghostofcrux) - rated g, sormik IVE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN: please let me live in this fic. it features some of the most gorgeously poetic writing you’ll read, a comforting small mountain village aesthetic, and slice-of-life adventures with sorey and mikleo. the only regret i have about this fic is that i didnt read it sooner!!

everything stays (by SportsAnimeRuinedMyLife) - rated t, sormik sorey comes back as a seraph but he’s lost most of his memory which means i cried bittersweet tears through this entire fic, its one of the purest sweetest most uplifting things i’ve ever read

toz drabbles (by centricexit / @saltin) - not rated, sormik if im being honest this is probably my favorite work in the zestiria tag on ao3. there are five drabbles and i love every single one, the first one especially, but i honestly have enough good things to say about all of them to fill pages and pages!!! theyre all achingly beautiful, its 100% worth your time to check them out

a light that never goes out (by lyriumveins / @tactician) - rated t, sormik BAND AU!!!! BAND AU!!!!!!! BAND AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and some of the best characterization ever. this fic was so entertaining and funny and perfect, the found family dynamic of the group was super strong and IM NOT JUST biased bc i live for mikleo playing classical piano, trust me its worth a read

for Sorey, when he wakes (by centricexit / @saltin) - not rated, sormik the epilogue fic you will cry real tears over bc the writing is so beautiful. i actually burst into tears over some lines like how do you even cOME UP WITH SOMETHING SO GORGEOUS

A voice through the darkness (by strikedawn) - rated g, sormik SUPER CUTE SUPER WELL-WRITTEN fic where sorey is a motivational speaker and mikleo is a writer and honestly theres never been a more perfect au??? i loved every part of this and clung to every word

Elixir Vitae (by Brightwinged / @brightwingedworks) - rated e, sormik i was SO elated when i saw sormik armitization smut and i honestly got even more than i was expecting, bc it wasnt just smut it was INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN SMUT, with some sentences that made me pause and set down my phone and consider how perfect they were

demon’s venom (by healing) - rated e, sormik UM HELLO if you read sormik smut then youve probably read this fic bc ITS DEFINITELY ONE OF THE BEST SORMIK SMUT FICS OUT THERE and who doesnt love some good ol’ fashioned elixir induced sex ;))))

dreaming (by healing) - rated g, sormik, platonic edna/mikleo IF YOU LIKE the relationship between edna and mikleo and would love to see it explored more then this is 100% the fic for you. i never thought their relationship could hurt so much but this fic HURT MAN, it was so thoughtful and sweet and beautiful :’’’)))

eternity in the horizon (by aetherae) - rated g, gen ooooOOHH MY GOD THIS FIC. if you like alisha even a little you NEED to read this fic, bc its the most thoughtful, spot-on characterization of her ive ever read and the care with which the author writes blows me away every time i read it!!!!! theres so much knowledge and so much to dive into and it made me remember why i love alisha so much ;;;

ambigram (by SinningShipper) - rated e, sormik HEY this is seriously some of the best smut ive ever read. the way the author dealt with corruption while still balancing sorey and mikleos personalities is just flat out amazing. it was a really really well executed concept and im really curious to know more about whats going to happen, like a smut fic has never left me wanting a plot-filled sequel but theres a first time for everything

take us to glory (by velvetcrowbars / @sogokita) - rated g, sormik yall i started crying the second i read the SUMMARY of this fic, literally before i even clicked into it!!! ive honestly never cried so consistently through a fic like i did for this one. it was SO gorgeous and i lingered over every word and also the tsoa reference really got me good ;;;;

be the overflow (by laskaris) - rated t, sormik pay attention to that major character death warning bc boyyy does that pack a punch. honestly reading this fic felt like having a hot butter knife stabbed through my chest and i loved every minute of it. the writing is rly beautiful too which makes reading it feel a very satisfying kind of painful 

Equivalent Exchange (by MatrixCube / @matrixcube) - rated t, zaveid/mikleo ok i just have to put in a very strong recommendation for this fic bc its ZAVEID/MIKLEO WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGH A FIC THIS GOOD WOULD EVER BE WRITTEN FOR THE SHIP!!!! the plot is so good and the relationship is so well developed and i would honestly be tripping over myself to praise this fic even if it didnt include my rarepair otp!! this fic is the best thing to happen to me all year please check it out

close your eyes and come back (by aspiringpencilcase) - rated g, sormik HELLO I LOVE LAILAH AND MIKLEOS RELATIONSHIP AND THIS FIC IS SO BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN, i was smiling and crying a bit all throughout it. its so sweet and gorgeous ;;;;

For All Her Goodness (by Woofemus / @floopers) - rated t, roseali THE ROSEALI FIC WEVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, its honestly so good and so beautifully characterized and the fact that we get to see so much of what goes on inside of roses head and what happens after she becomes a shepherd is delightful!! i feel like theres definitely not enough fics from roses pov so it was really refreshing and i LOVED how she was written!!!