#i should have turned off my lizard light oh well

[jazzzzzzhands]

this one goes out to thunderstorms mmmm big BIG rumbly bumbly ones!!! i love love LOVE thunderstorms and how they make me feel! big loud thunder!!! YESS so i decided to paint a lil painty! <33

um another picture cause im not very good at taking pictures!

[xoxoladyaz]

AU-gust, Day 5: Pet Sitting

“Nope, no way. Absolutely not.”

Six sets of puppy-dog eyes stared back at her. Lucas, the ham, even pretended to start whimpering.

“Stevie, please,” Dustin whined, “Eddie needs a safe place to stay.”

She stared at Dustin for a few seconds before glancing down at the shoebox in Dustin’s hands. Inside the shoebox surrounded by a few of Claudia’s oldest and fuzziest kitchen towels stood a bat, a small black bat with big black eyes that looked almost just as pathetic as the rest of the kids.

(Almost.)

“I’ve done this song and dance with you before, Henderson, and I told you when you got rid of the alien lizard - ”

“D’artagnan was a cryptid, Stevie!”

“ – alien lizard that I wasn’t going to help you keep playing monster vet. I still haven’t recovered from seeing Mews’ corpse!”

“Mews was my cat and I’m fine! Besides, Eddie’s just a normal bat!”

“Dustin, he has a full head of hair!”

Stevie and Dustin stared at each other before looking back down at the bat (Eddie). Who was running his little claws through his hair and preening. (Stevie could have sworn that he winked at her, but she wasn’t crazy; it was definitely just a trick of the light.)

Dustin’s face started to flush like he was going to argue with her but El (sweet, precious El) cut him off before he could really get going. “Stevie’s right. He is not normal,” El said, stepping forward to run her fingers against Eddie’s head. Eddie rubbed up against her fingers and chirped. 

“See, I knew it - ”

“But he is a friend,” El said and fuck, the full force of El-most-likely-a-changeling-Hopper’s big brown eyes was something Stevie would probably never learn to resist. “And he needs someone to care for him while he gets better.”

“Better? What do you mean, better?”

“Bad man,” El replied matter-of-factly and, well, shit. She didn’t need to say much more than that.

Stevie sighed and turned her attention back towards the “bat” in question. “How long?”

/////

Just a few weeks, maybe a month or two, Dustin had said. “I would have kept him myself but Mom was worried that he’d eat Tews – ”

(“Oh, and you don’t care if I get eaten?” Stevie had replied. Dustin had just rolled his eyes and ignored her.) 

So yeah, two months tops, just until Eddie was “healed” or what not. (He didn’t have any visible injuries that Stevie could see but then again, she was just a cosmetologist, what the fuck did she know about bat anatomy?) Until then, Stevie was going to have a tiny flying roommate who apparently “only likes to listen to metal music, so I’ve brought a few tapes and oh! He loves fantasy so you’ll have to read him this as a bedtime story,�� at which point Dustin handed her The Lord of the Rings, “and he gets lonely at night so don’t lock him out, he likes to cuddle, and he should be able to fit in your jacket pocket when you go to work during the day - ”

“No, nope, no way, none of that is happening,” Stevie argued and she really had been planning on sticking to that – no metal music, no bedtime stories, no cuddles, and definitely no work trips, no way, no how.

(She’d folded by hour two of Eddie’s stay at Casa de Harrington.)

/////

“You get this is weird, right?”

“Hmm?” Stevie was cutting apart some strawberries to blend with whatever “protein drink” Dustin kept dropping off at her house. “What’s weird?” She turned to look at Robin, who was watching Eddie shimmy up and down the dining room table to “Rock Me Like a Hurricane.”

“Stevie. This is not normal bat behavior.”

“So? It’s normal Eddie behavior,” Stevie shrugged. She tossed the berries into the blender and, once it was a fine red concoction, put it in a little cup with a little straw and walked over the table. Eddie slid his way across the polished wood and wiggled when he saw her, chittering happily before going to town on his fruit smoothie.

“Yeah, well, this isn’t also normal Stevie behavior!” Robin threw her hands up in the air. “You’re letting a wild animal sleep with you in your bed!”

(She’d tried to encourage Eddie to stay in the guest room that first night all those weeks ago but she’d barely laid in bed for all of two minutes before a dark shape flew through the dark and landed on her chest. She’d screamed and leapt out of the bed but Eddie had somehow managed to grip his claws into her shirt and no amount of arguing with him was able to get him to let go. 

“Fine,” she’d finally growled, “but if I roll over and squish you, it’s not my fault.” 

When she’d finally woken up the next morning, she was still lying on her back and Eddie was still nestled onto her chest. They’d been going to sleep every night that way ever since.)

“Hey,” Stevie replied defensively, “he’s not a wild animal, he’s totally tame.”

“Uh huh,” Robin replied queasily, watching as Eddie happily slurped up his smoothie. “Just because you play dress-up with him doesn’t mean he’s tame, Stevie.”

The tiny vest was from El and Will, something about how Eddie looked “wrong” without it (whatever that meant. Stevie had to admit it did look really cute on him.)

“He looks adorable, Robin!”

“He’s totally taken over your life,” Robin shot back dramatically. “He goes shopping with you, you take him to work – Stevie, he sits with you when you take bubble baths, for Pete’s sake!”

(Hey, Eddie was a gentleman, he always waited until she was covered by bubbles until coming in and sitting on the little nest of towels she’d made for him on the set of drawers by the bathtub and okay, maybe Robin had a point here.)

“And that’s not to mention that I’ve been trying to get you to read a book for literal years now and this bat shows up and suddenly you’re reading Tolkien to him every night?”

“It’s actually a good book, Robin,” Stevie said defensively.

“I know that, Stevie, I just can’t believe that you’re not seeing this! Like, there are so many red flags! He’s literally drinking blood right now!”

Stevie huffed and leaned over the table, like she was physically covering Eddie from Robin’s criticism. “It’s rude to judge somebody else’s eating habits, Robin. Or did you forget our conversation last month when you tried to go vegetarian?”

“That’s different and you know it!” Robin exclaimed. 

Eddie, because he was a little drama king, took the last sip of his smoothie while making eye contact with Robin before letting out an exaggeratedly content sigh. 

“See?!”

Stevie rolled her eyes and set her hand down. Eddie scurried onto her palm, letting out a series of happy chirps. She lifted him up and set him on her shoulder where he waddled to her cheek and pressed his little face against it, like he was giving her a little kiss. “You’re being overdramatic, Robin.”

“Fine, whatever, just don’t come crying to me when he makes you his eternal vampire bride or whatever,” Robin huffed before getting up and stalking out of the kitchen.

“He’s just a bat!” Stevie called after her. Robin responded by slamming the front door after he on the way out. 

Sighing, Stevie turned to look at Eddie, who was currently making a home for himself in her curls. “You are just a bat, right?”

Eddie turned and shot her a wink before wrapping his little body in one of her ringlets.

“Yeah, that’s probably fine.”

/////

One of the best parts of having Eddie around actually was nighttime. She hadn’t gotten so many nights of uninterrupted sleep in years. He was like some sort of nightmare repellent or something; in fact, the only dreams she’d had recently were of a shrouded figure with long dark hair and a sexy laugh and teasing cool hands and other things – 

And when she woke up a month and a half into Eddie’s residency in her home, she probably should have been more shocked at the fact that her bat had turned into a very pale, very sexy and very naked man with long dark hair and cool skin and – 

“God, Robin’s never going to let me live this down,” Stevie murmured as the man stirred above her. He opened his eyes and yep, yeah, those were her bat’s eyes. 

Eddie’s grin grew sharp as he pressed her further into her bed. “I’m sure I can find some way to make up for it,” he said as he drew close enough to kiss her. 

“How do you feel about a Halloween wedding?”

[navybrat817]

Is spitfire ready for the race?

Hmm. Mostly yes.

Friendly Competition

Pairing: Motocross!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: You make a new "friend" before the race starts.

Word Count: Over 1.1k

Warnings: Cattiness, Nat being awesome, talk of motocross!Bucky Barnes (he’s a warning, okay?)

Graphics talent and thanks: Banner by @sgt-seabass. Divider by @saradika. Header by yours truly.

A/N: Hothead and Spitfire have made an impression, haven't they? ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You didn't take a seat right away as Nat led you to the stands. She didn't seem to mind as she stood by you, even with the race getting ready to start. Maybe she sensed that you were a bit antsy and politely didn't rush you.

Your gaze settled on a photographer near the tracks and you hoped she snapped a photo of Bucky. It made no sense why you wanted that. It's not like you'd see the pictures. Plus you already saw how hot he looked in the earlier photos Nat showed you. 

With his stupidly gorgeous eyes and hair and those fucking lips that-

"Nervous?" Natasha cut into your thoughts. 

"I'm not," you said, the corner of your lip tugging a bit. "Maybe a little. I told you, I want Bucky to win."

"And I told you he will. I'm always right, you know. At least I act like I am."

"So humble," you joked, but her confidence helped you relax. 

"Extremely. Let's go sit."

"Natasha! Hi!"

"Shit," she said under her breath. A redhead, a shade or so lighter than your friend's hair, walked over and blocked your path before you could go into the stands. She carried herself with confidence, her shoulders back and not acknowledging anyone else around her. You did your best to make your own judgments on people, but your friend's reaction didn't paint her in a good light. 

I wonder why that is.

"It's so good to see you!"

"Dolores," Natasha said in a clipped tone.

"Did you do something different with your hair? I didn't think the bob cut was back, but you pull it off," Dolores commented with what appeared to be an insincere smile.

Oh. That could be part of the disdain.

You knew well enough that not everyone could be honest and straightforward, but you never understood passive aggressive compliments. Were they even compliments at that point? Why be sneaky?

Be a bitch and own it or be nice.

"No one has complained yet," Natasha curtly responded before you could speak up. 

Dolores either didn't catch the tone or ignored it as she turned her attention to you. "And you must be the new girl I just heard about. I'm looking forward to us being friends," she said, taking a step back so she could look you over. "I love your skirt. Interesting choice for the tracks."

"Thanks. Nat suggested it and, as you already know, she has great taste and style," you said, not at all ashamed or intimidated by her judging gaze.

Like you felt slightly protective of Bucky earlier, you felt the same for Nat.

"Isn't that nice?" Dolores asked, her lip twitching when you didn't cower under her stare. "So nice for her to take the new girl under her wing."

"New girl". That label again. 

"I actually have a name outside of 'new girl'," you said, stating it for her.

"Well, I'm Dolores. Most people call me Dot," her smile widened again. "And some of the boys were just talking about you over there. Heard you made quite an impression on Bucky."

"I'm shocked you've heard anything about me, especially so quickly. Guess good news travels fast."

Dolores bristled, but quickly regained her composure. "I know we aren't best friends yet, but us girls have to stick together. So I thought you should know that some of the boys are pegging you as a, well, pit lizard," she exaggeratedly whispered at the end, like it was a big secret. 

"That's bullshit," Natasha spoke, glancing at you. "They wouldn't."

"I'm just repeating what I heard. I'm trying to warn her," Dolores said with a hint of sympathy in her gaze. It would have worked if not for the mocking tone. "Do you know what that means?"

Oh, I do love the condescension. 

"Groupie for riders? Yeah, I'm familiar with the term," you shrugged slightly. "Did the boys also mention that Bucky kind of asked me on a date?"

The lighter redhead stood up straighter, her eyes narrowing as some of the "friendliness" began to chip away. 

"Something wrong, Dolores?" you asked. 

"He what?"

"He asked her out on a date," Natasha smirked.

"No, he didn't."

"He did," you nodded. "He also didn't give me the impression that he pegged me for a pit lizard. I can't imagine Nat would encourage me to date him if he did."

"I dated him," Dolores blurted out.

The plot thickens.

"It was one date," Natasha said to you under her breath.

"And you should be careful with him," your new "friend" warned as she strode forward. You refused to step backward. "Wouldn't want you to get hurt."

"Are you threatening her?" your actual friend asked, shifting her stance to put you slightly behind her. "Because that isn't a good idea."

It's nice to have a protective friend. 

"It's okay. I'm sure she's just being friendly," you said before Dolores had a chance to answer. You leaned in a little like you were going to whisper a secret. "I think I'll be just fine with Bucky, but thanks. You also have lipstick on your teeth. Thought you should know.

Dolores muttered something unpleasant under her breath when she moved around you and stormed away. 

"Good to see you, Dolores," Natasha said even though she was out of earshot at that point. "Lipstick? Really?"

"What? She did," you said truthfully. "I'd want someone to point it out to me."

"You okay?"

"Just fine," you said when she raised an eyebrow. "It's not a bullshit answer. It's a jealous ex."

Wait. Does one date make you an ex?

"She's right though. You really are making quite an impression on people here," she said, taking your arm so the two of you could finally sit down. "You have Bucky and Maddox making bets over you. Now Dolores is threatened by you."

And I'm not even racing. 

"You make me sound like one of those Mary Sue characters who gets everyone's attention for no reason whatsoever."

"You mean you aren't the most special kind of special person there is?" Nat teased, giving a friendly nod to another girl as you passed by. 

"No, I'm just the shiny new toy everyone wants to play with," you joked back. "I don't have anything to worry about with her, do I?"

"Like what? Competing for Bucky's affection? Trust me. That ship didn't sail. It sank."

You snorted a bit. "Funny."

"Really though. You have nothing to worry about. We have your back," she said, taking a seat. "Besides, a little friendly competition never hurt anyone."

"So, Bucky is a prize now?" you asked as you sat beside her.

"Neither one of you are prizes, but I still think you're both going to come out on top in the end."

With Bucky determined to win the race, you had a feeling Nat was right. 

You just had to make sure Dolores didn't stick a knife in your back when you weren't looking.

Should we worry? Nah. Love and thanks! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Dialed In Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[bagopucks]

J. Drysdale - Drago-nita

✄————————————

Jamie Drysdale x Fem!reader (really light implications of feelings)

Requested✨

Word Count: 3.6k

Warning(s): Not much. Mention of sickness, assumptions of a dead animal. General dumbassery from Trev and J.. maybe a little from the reader too.

Gif was too good not to use. Jamie looking as exasperatedly at the title as I imagine the reader does at Trevor when he says it…

—————————————

I had just settled in bed. Just gotten comfortable and warm under my blankets, when I got a call from Jamie.

I told him he could contact me at any point while Trevor was out of the house on a road trip. Jamie seemed to do fine on his own the first few days, handling his sprained wrist well on top of everything else. Apparently I was wrong.

“It’s not moving.”

I didn’t know what to think when I heard him speak over the line. He sounded so worried, but I didn’t understand what ‘it’ was.

“Jamie,” I sighed his name into the receiver. I just wanted to rest, but there was a nagging concern in the back of my head. “What’s not moving?”

“Drago.. I poked him.. he’s like.. he’s cold.” I heard him pause, then a ruffle follow over the phone. It took me a moment to remember who and what Drago was. “Oh my god..” the words were dragged out in a whisper of slow realization.

“I think I killed Trevor’s lizard.” Despite the fact that he was home alone, Jamie was still quiet. As if at any moment, Trevor might break the door down and smite him for causing the death of the poor little animal.

“J, have you been feeding it?” I slowly sat up, trying not to sound too frustrated as I rubbed at one of my eyes.

“Yes! And putting water in the cage whenever its sponge gets dry.” I can tell Jamie is worried, but I’m not sure how to even go about a situation like this. Or why I was called to handle it.

“You have to come over and look at him.. okay? Please.” I truly did not want to get out of bed.

“If Drago’s dead, he’s dead, Jame.. there’s nothing I can really do about it.” I felt bad turning him down, but that was the truth.

“I just need somebody else to look at him. I’m really sorry.. I just- I don’t want to throw him out in case he’s actually still alive.”

I felt bad for Trevor. He really thought the best idea was to leave his lizard with a guy who planned to just throw it out if it was dead? No send off? No calling to at least let Trevor see it one last time before throwing it in the back yard for the vultures?

I could understand Jamie’s thought process on it a little. Many people saw lizards and reptiles as pets, but I personally did not. I didn’t mind Drago, though he did creep me out a little. But the idea of crying over a dead lizard didn’t exactly strike me as compelling. Or something you’d see in a sad movie.

Still, if it mattered to Trevor, I’d hate to just throw it out.

“Can you wait five minutes?” I gave in eventually, unsure if the sound of Jamie’s voice or the worry about Trevor’s abnormal pet was what pushed me to give in.

“I can wait, yeah.. what do you think I should do? Do I take him out or.. turn up the heat lamp? He feels really cold. I can hold him in front of the heater…”

I listened to Jamie’s rambling, holding my breath in frustration until I could finally get a word in. “Jamie! Jamie.. don’t- don’t touch the lizard. Okay? Just.. go do something else and wait for me to get there.”

“Yeah.. yeah okay.” I bid the poor boy goodbye before hanging up the phone and getting dressed to make the short drive to Jamie and Trevor’s. How hard was it to keep a lizard alive?

Once I got to their home, I landed a few gentle knocks on the door. Jamie opened it like he’d been standing there waiting, and he looked like a mother who had been handling a crying baby all night. I pray for him, the day he gets his own home.

“He’s this way.” Jamie grabbed my hand, dragging me inside and shutting the door before pulling me through the house and up the steps, eventually into Trevor’s room. It was pitch black except for the heat lamp on in the corner on Trevor’s desk.

I searched for the light switch before flipping the room light on.

“Wait! Trevor said he likes the dark.” Jamie reached to turn the light back out, but I pulled my hand from his own to shove the reaching hand away.

“He doesn’t have a preference if he’s dead.” I argued, watching the way Jamie’s face fell with worry. I panicked. “Well- well he might not be.” I rested a hand on his back before Jamie led me over to the tank. We both leaned forward, hands on our knees, peering into the side of the tank at the unmoving creature, laid out on a tiny log.

“So?” Jamie asked, our eyes both searching for a single inch of movement.

“Looks pretty dead to me.”

Jamie drew out another one of those long, ‘oh my god’s’ of disbelief, standing upright as his hands flew to hold the back of his head.

“Trevor‘s gonna kill me!” I quickly turned to look at Jamie, my brow furrowing in concern. The lizard, I didn’t have much feeling for. But Jamie? Poor Jamie. And Trevor would be upset. Devastated.

“No he won’t! Well just..” god I hated to pull something so stupid. “We’ll go buy a new one.” I could tell Jamie didn’t like the idea much either.

“Tomorrow.. okay? We’ll take a few photos of him, go to the pet store, and find the one that looks closest to him. Trevor will never know.” At least I hoped.

“But that feels wrong,” Jamie reasoned. At this point, I worried more about their friendship, and Trevor’s feelings, than the lizard.

“It’s a lizard, Jame. You can’t pet or cuddle a lizard.. or hold it or walk it. It sits in a tank and you stare at it.”

“No. No Trevor always let it sit on his shoulders, or curl up in his sweatshirt hoods. He would play video games with it- and he let Drago pick movies on movie nights sometimes!” Which was always Godzilla. But Jamie never minded. They both loved Godzilla.

“He let that thing out of the tank?” I was horrified at the concept, but Jamie nodded to solidify his previous statements. Something about Trevor cuddling a lizard seemed so gross and yet so normal for him.

“Well then.. okay so..” I placed my hands on my hips, watching as Jamie dropped to sit on the foot of Trevor’s bed. “Okay.. we’ll get the new one, and just.. condition him to do all the things Drago did with Trevor.”

What was I even talking about? We were going to train a lizard?

Jamie still didn’t look all too convinced, but he gave in nonetheless.

“I’ll call you in the morning, J.” I turned to leave the room, but Jamie quickly stood up and slipped around me to block the doorway.

“Wait.. don’t go.” I could tell he was still anxious.

“I want to sleep in a bed, Jamie. And in clothes that aren’t jeans.”

“You can sleep in my bed. I’ll take Trevor’s.. and I’ll grab you something. I just.. it sucks being alone..” the sound in his voice I didn’t recognize. Sadness? I thought Jamie had been fine with a little independence, but perhaps I should have reached out a bit more.

“Fine. But I want one of your fluffy sweaters.” Jamie��s face lit up, nodding and quickly disappearing down the hall. I followed close behind, stepping into the doorway of his room and waiting patiently as he pulled out a pair of gym shorts and one of his sweaters. I’d look like Adam Sandler, but as long as it was comfortable, I’d sleep in anything. Jamie turned to hand me the clothing, smiling at me all the while, but the admiration on my face slowly shifted into realization.

I didn’t want Jamie sleeping in the same room as the lizard he killed. He’d keep himself up.

“Jame. Why don’t you sleep in your bed? It’s big enough for the both of us.” He seemed to hesitate, searching my face for discomfort before nodding. He was already dressed for bed, in his own shorts and an old Ducks shirt, but he stepped out of his room to give me the space I needed to change, shutting the door behind himself.

Jamie and I had fallen asleep together before. We were a touchy pair. But never had we really slept together in a bed. I slipped my clothes off and folded them up, placing everything on the top of Jamie’s dresser. I considered leaving my bra on before deciding against it, slipping that off as well and tossing it on top of my clothing before I slipped into Jamie’s huge sweater and the shorts he gave me. I pulled at the strings and tied them as tightly as I could around my waist.

I definitely looked like I was about to go beat my old rivals on the basketball court. Or become a wedding singer. Or hey, maybe even get my high school diploma and play college football. I giggled at the sight of myself, rolling my eyes. The sweater smelled amazing, but then again.. Jamie always smelled amazing.

“Alright, you can come in.” Jamie was quick to open the door and slip inside, pushing it shut behind himself. A gesture I would have found concerning if this wasn’t someone I was so close to. I assumed it was only a habit he had, shutting his door before going to bed at night.

Jamie’s eyes looked over my body, and it seemed he found my appearance as amusing as I did.

“You look funny.” I rolled my eyes at him before making my way over to his bed.

“Another comment on my clothes and I’ll suffocate you with your own duvet, Drysdale.” I muttered, hearing him laugh. Jamie found his way around to the other side of the bed. I paid no mind to the fact that I was technically on his side, where his nightstand was with his chargers and such. He didn’t seem to mind anyway.

“I usually listen to music when I sleep.. do you mind?” His voice made me shake my head as I laid down.

“Go for it.” I rolled onto my side and watched as he pulled his phone out and pressed play on some playlist, setting his phone down on the empty nightstand on his new side for the night.

Jamie pulled the covers back and laid down in the empty space, placing his hands one on top of the other on his pillow before resting his head on them. He looked like a little girl ready to share secrets with her bestie. And that excited smile on his face only solidified the look. It was like we didn’t have a dead lizard in the other room at all. The smile didn’t remain though. The silence let both of our minds wander, and I watched concern overtake Jamie’s features again. His gaze dropped to the sheets, a frown tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Do you think Trevor’s gonna be mad?” His voice broke our comfortable silence as he moved a hand from beneath his head to rub the fabric of the shirt I wore between his fingers.

“Go to bed, Jamie.” I spoke softly, encouraging him to relax, batting his hand away and turning onto my back. I heard him sigh, but I didn’t look at him any more. Truth is, if Trevor found out, I didn’t know how he’d feel.

We both fell asleep at some point, I’m not sure when, but I knew he was out before I was, because the sound of his snoring was certainly a surprise to me. I’d never heard him snore, and I never expected it to be so amusing either.

——————

When I woke up, I felt the weight of a hand holding the fabric of the sweater on my back. At some point in the night, I had rolled onto my side, and it seemed Jamie had gotten ahold of me. I was careful shaking his hand off before I turned to look at him, on his own back, one arm draped over his stomach while the other laid on the bed beside me.

I rubbed at my eyes and slowly sat up, yawning and stretching. The lizard was an awful reminder of what we had in store for us today. I almost didn’t want to wake Jamie up to have to burden him with his own mistakes, but I wasn’t going to let him lay around while I replaced Drago.

“Jamie…” I whispered in a sing-song tone, grabbing his hand and lifting his knuckles to my lips. I pressed a gentle kiss to the back of his hand, smiling at the way his head turned and his dark hair fell over his eyes.

“Jame,” I dropped his hand to the bed and poked at his side a few times before finding a spot that tickled. He giggled, his eyelids squeezing before they fluttered open. A happy morning Jamie was a good morning Jamie. It brought a smile to my lips while I gave him time to wake up both physically and mentally.

“We have to get into PetSmart.”

That didn’t seem to make Jamie happy, but I wanted to get the stress out of the way early so we wouldn’t dwell on it all day.

The two of us did our own thing getting ready, and I allowed Jamie time in the bathroom to fix his hair while I went to take photos of the lizard- in the same spot as before. By the time I was done, Jamie was standing in the doorway of Trevor’s room, in a crewneck and a pair of jeans, holding his car keys with pursed lips.

——————

“Okay.. it has to have these dark scales down the sides of its head.. right here,” I tried to show Jamie the phone despite the fact that he was driving. He spared it a halfhearted glance before looking back at the road.

“They all look.. sorta similar.. right?” Jamie’s question made me stop to think.

“Yeah… I guess they probably do.”

What made me worry though, was that Trevor probably knew every single scale on that thing from the way Jamie described his relationship with the lizard.

Once we found a place to park at the PetSmart, Jamie and I were quick to get ourselves inside, both uncertain of where to go, but the woman at the cash register helped with a kind smile.

“What are we looking for today?” She stepped out from her small area after she finished checking someone out.

“A bearded dragon?”

My question seemed to catch her off guard.

“Wasn’t expecting that. Usually young couples come in here wanting to adopt one of our cats.”

Jamie’s face went red before mine did, but neither of us knew what to say.

“Come on. They’re this way.” She turned to walk down the isles, and we followed suit. She stopped by the reptiles, taking her time examining the small tag outside each tank, until she found the bearded dragons. “Here they are.”

Jamie and I spent a good half an hour examining all the little creatures before we found one we decided was the best fitting option. Then we paid and took it home. One task out of the way.

Jamie didn’t want to hold it at first, or even touch it, but I insisted it was his job because he was always around when Trevor played with it. I swear I saw him go pale the first time he grabbed it.

Everything seemed to be going decently until Jamie got a call from Trevor, his fellow Duck explaining that he’d gotten some kind of sinus infection and the physician wouldn’t let him play. That he’d just gotten off of his flight home, and he couldn’t wait to sleep in his own bed.

Jamie and I began to panic at that point. Because it meant Trevor would be home within the next few minutes.

“Just put it in the cage!” Jamie shoved the lizard into my hands, and I gagged at the feeling.

“Jamie!” I scolded, but he was already rushing down the hall, and I had to helplessly follow with the scaly creature.

“What do we do with the old one?” When I entered Trevor’s room, my eyes landed on the dead lizard. I wondered if it was normal for a lizard not to decompose or even stink after two days of being.. well.. dead.

“Can we throw it in the back yard?” I hated suggesting doing something so terrible to an animal Trevor loved, even if I didn’t like the creature.

“What if he sees it? Or steps on it?” Both of us grimaced at the thought.

Then the front door opened.

“Holy shit.” I panicked.. the lizard in my hand began to crawl up my arm. “Jamie!” I practically shouted. He quickly reached out to grab it.

“Jimmy.. bud?” Trevor called as he walked down the hall, concerned at the sound of my yelling.

Jamie acted on impulse, cracking the top of the tank open and dropping the lizard in before he shut it.

We left the dead one.

Trevor quickly stepped into his bedroom, eyeing the sight of both of us standing around, acting as if nothing had happened.

I watched his brow raise. I took a step closer to my preferred Duck, and he rested a hand on my shoulder.

“You guys doing something in here?” His tone took on a natural suspicious sound, along with the congested one.

I looked up at Jamie, and Jamie looked down at me. “No?” I tried. “We were just-“

“I came to feed Drago.. she just wanted to see him.” Jamie blurted out, a nervous smile forming on his lips. Did he always look that awkward when he was lying? I never would have suggested buying a new lizard if I knew he was shit at telling a tale.

“Did you guys do something to him?” Trevor quickly dropped his bag, walking over to the tank. His voice sounded miserable, scratchy and nasally. “Dude.. those antibiotics must be crazy.. I’m seeing double.”

Trevor popped the top off the tank, reaching in to gently touch the dead lizard before he attempted to poke the other. He came to the quick realization that they were both real. “Did my lizard have a baby? What the hell?” He seemed absolutely confused, but Jamie and I weren’t planning on saying anything if Trevor really believed Drago had a kid.

“Yo, I thought Drago was a boy..” Trevor reached for his dead lizard, picking it up and resting it in the palm of his hand. I was horrified when I saw its eyes open.

“Uh no way!” I stepped back into Jamie. “That thing was-“ the taller immediately clasped a hand over my mouth, only pulling it down when he knew I’d be silent.

“Just started hibernating, I know.. the lady I spoke to said they can sleep for days and weeks at a time at the beginning.” Trevor smiled, resting Drago on his shoulder. “Guess he.. or.. she must have been exhausted after laying an egg.” He paused, “don’t reptiles lay multiple though?”

“I didn’t know what to do with them.. I didn’t figure you wanted a bunch of baby lizards so.. so I took them out.” Trevor only shrugged and nodded at Jamie’s words. He probably wouldn’t have wanted a bunch of tiny lizards.

“I missed one I guess.. thought I’d surprise you.”

Did he really not understand the mating process? Did Trevor just assume his lizard had a tiny Jesus lizard? Did I even want to ask and risk us getting caught?

“Guess Drago’s a Dragonita.. huh?”

Pure disappointment flashed across my face. Who made him pull out of basic science in high school? Which teacher failed him? Which teacher did he fail?

Now I understood why nobody on the Ducks thought Trevor was ready for a dog.

“I’m going home.” I shook my head, holding my hands up in mock surrender. I was losing brain cells being a part of this conversation.

“You don’t wanna hold DJ?” Trevor asked as I had gotten to his bedroom door. I just had to turn and ask what he meant.

“DJ?”

“Drago Junior.” Trevor beamed with pride, like a new dad. I wanted so badly to tell him that his bearded dragon was not a woman, and that she did not have eggs, and that the new lizard was store bought. But when I looked back at Jamie, I simply sighed at the relief on his face. I couldn’t out him. I couldn’t tell Trevor we planned on just replacing the little guy.

“I don’t like lizards.” It was supposed to be an excuse not to hold it. And it was the truth, but it contradicted with what Jamie told Trevor when he first got home.

“What do you mean? You were in here ‘cause you wanted to see them!” Trevor smiled and sniffed. I don’t know how anyone can have so much energy when they have a sinus infection. Trevor always defied all odds.

Jamie’s pleading eyes made me give in and hold my hands out.

“Hell yeah. DJ’s gonna love you.”

DJ did love me. But I did not love DJ. My entire morning was spent trying to fix this whole mess, only to come to the realization that a Google search would have fixed it. I went the rest of the evening curled up on the couch against Jamie, with a stupid lizard hanging off my chest, watching Godzilla. I made a silent promise to myself that I would never again help Jamie with lizard troubles.

✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾ ✾

[mamayan]

So, I was looking the tag "Across the Spiderverse" on the tumblr when I see a request for "Miguel’s reaction would be if you asked him if he’s ever masturbated before?". It got me wondering, how would Tomura, Dabi (and whoever else you want to write) react to this kind of question? - Anon 🌲[English isn't my first language, sorry if I wrote it wrong]

That is a very good question Anon 🌲!

Tag List: @sharpcheddarcheese (for Spinner♥️)

Tomura, Dabi, and Spinner’s reaction to being asked if they’ve ever masturbated before!

Warning: Low risk, slight nsfw

Tomura Shigaraki: “Do you masturbate?”

Best to ask this question in private, if you ask in front of a crowd or the League, he could become volatile.

Whether he has Father covering his face or not, he’ll turn red from the roots of his hair down to his toes.

Of course he’s masturbated, excessively even, nightly, and daily, and sometimes in the middle of gaming if he can do it single handedly.

He’s a pervert, but to ask him so directly to say that he is?

He will ask you right back to your face, “Do you?” because he wants to throw you off your game too.

If you become just as fluttered or more as him, he’ll feel better and possibly make fun of you to take the spot light off himself.

If you confidently claim that card, he’ll scoff and claim false bravado as well and own it too.

If you vehemently deny it, he could possibly react violently. Depends on who you are to him.

As his lover? He’ll lose it. You’ll be dragged into his lap and forced into his version of “teaching” you how to touch yourself. Expect to be teased and edged endlessly. He’s downright filthy about it.

Dabi: “Do you masturbate?”

Dabi’s answer depends less more on how you ask him.

Are you genuinely curious? He’ll look at you like you’re an idiot. “Of course I do.” He owns it shamelessly and without hesitation.

Are you’re trying to flirt? He may lie and pretend he’s never done it before, and even ask you to “show me how’s it done?” A great way to get in his pants. 10/10

Are you being condescending and acting like you’re above him? He’s not a patient man and will absolutely drag you to his level very quickly. If you’re not someone he’s into, he’s violent. If you are someone he’s into, well, he doesn’t have a framed certificate of Professional Brat Tamer on his wall for nothing. Prepare to be humbled.

Are you asking out of jealousy or anger? Hoho, it can go one of two ways.

a). He’s into it and will one hundred percent show you why you should appreciate the respite he gives by getting himself off instead of using you. He’ll stop masturbating for a whole month just to prove a point.

b). If he takes it disrespectfully, please refer back to his Brat Tamer certification.

Are you asking with a pout/sadness? He’ll show you so quickly how much better you are than his hand right then and there. Also, refer back to point a).

And finally, the worst scenario, are you asking in disgust? Oh, please, give him a reason. He will take it. He is more than happy to show you what happens to those with a holier than thou attitude. You wanna sniff your nose up in disgust? He’ll give you something to feel disgusted about. Every inch of his disgusting self, he’s more than happy to provide. You’ll be humbled faster and more violently than if you were just acting like a brat. This is a step too far over his mental line of cute bratty and disrespectful little shit. Dabi has a thing for making whiny messes out of those who want to stick their nose up at him. He’s happy to comply and wreck you.

Spinner: “Do you masturbate”

Be nice, he’s just a sweet lizard with a penchant for violent destruction and sharp objects.

Embarrassed no matter how you ask it, once again, be nice.

He 100% does masturbate, albeit far less frequently than most think! He’s busy thinking about his ideals and goals with the League, so give him a break.

He’s going to ask and stutter why you want to know?!

If you outright say you’re attracted to him and are flirting, he’ll make an escape attempt. Check the sewers later.

If you tell him you’re just curious and he can tell you really are, he’ll mumble and curse at you for being nosy and weird. He’s still stuttering and fumbling around. His actions will answer for him.

If you tell him it’s cuz you’re trying to not feel weird about it yourself, like out right admitting to being shamed for it, he’ll become angry on your behalf! “Who told you that it’s not normal?!” Once again, outs himself immediately. Depending on how distressed you are, he may say “Yeah, doesn’t everyone?” Awkwardly of course.

Bonus points if you get him to awkwardly deny it, and then tell him you wanna show him how to do it. He won’t even know how to breathe, let alone deny you if you’re bold enough. Have fun♥️

[ivy-is-fine]

Kratt Drones

Part twooooo~

“Oh,” said the guy in green. “It is?”

Tessa made motions with her hands, flapping them about. Then, she checked the air quality and found that this was indeed, a pocket of hospitable environment on the planet of death. “Oh, you’re right.” She shook herself out. They should wait, V would surely come down any second after blasting all of the sentinels into bits. That was just a show. She couldn’t really be dead.

Meanwhile N over here was a mad wreck, he was visibly panicking, and Uzi appeared worse than usual.

N was pacing back and forth, eyes looking at the ceiling as the faint sound of sentinels roaring drifted down the elevator shaft. “We have to go back up and help her! If maybe we work together we can— but if we— but Uzi—” he started to ramble, tail lashing side to side.

Tessa turned her gaze to N. “Do that and you’ll get flashbanged and all sad and dead.”

“Is there something up there?” The guy in blue asked, the sound of the sentinels dying off.

“Yes, the sentinels. Robot dinosaur basilisk things,” Tessa said. “Where did you guys even come from?”

They shrugged. “We walked through this big fleshy door and it brought us here. I suppose we probably should have thought it through a bit more,” Green Man said. N and Uzi exchanged glances. Her arm was regenerating extremely slowly, millimeters at a time. “Oh, and I’m Chris and this is my brother Martin.”

They slid towards each other and made finger-guns. “And we’re the Kratt brothers!” they said in unison.

“Well I’m Tessa, that’s N and Uzi,” she said off-handedly. She glanced over at the elevator before looking away quickly.

Uzi stood up. She still seemed dazed, and N shifted to stand next to her. They were all in the labs now. Whatever the absolute solver had wanted, it was probably in here. This was where the answers were. Focus turned over to her. One of her eyes was shut and was glitching. N winced. “Are we gonna keep standing around like buffoons or what?” she snapped, voice breaking a bit. She didn’t want to think V was dead. In fact, she was probably going to appear in the elevator now, laughing at their faces, how stupid they were for thinking that she couldn’t shoot down a couple of cranky lizard-bots, and they would all laugh and cry and find out why the SOLVER OF THE ABSOLUTE FABRIC THERE WERE MORE HUMANS HERE? DIDN’T THEY ALL HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS?

There was a silence for a few minutes as they all looked at each other. The silence from above wasn’t reassuring either.

Tessa shook herself out like a dingo and twirled a pistol around on her finger, as if nothing at all had happened. “Well, let’s keep going then, ey? No point in crying over spilled milk!” She began a very determined walk down the dark corridor.

N, Uzi, Chris, and Martin looked at each other before trailing along behind Tessa.

“She’ll be back,” Uzi tried to whisper to herself. “She’ll just be in the shadows as a giant freaky centipede and we’ll have to kill her again and then a new clone will be shot back and we’ll be back to normal.”

N gave her a nervous look as they descended into the darkness. There were no lights other than the screens of the robots and N’s nanite tail.

One of the Kratt brothers lit a flashlight. Uzi felt too sick to use her tail. Her arm felt like it should have still been there. It was a terrible jolt everytime that she looked down and found it missing.

The hand that N had been holding. It was gone, and so was V. And there was a solid chance that the sentinels could be down here too.

Uzi tripped over something, and when N switched his hand to a flashlight it was a piece of an eldritch Disassembly Drone. A long claw curled in eternal agony.

Uzi looked up and saw that the halls were covered in gaping holes, broken walls, stained oil, and scattered drone parts. Many, many parts.

And it was warm down here. The two humans seemed cold. HOW COULD THEY BE COLD IN THIS SWELTERING CLIMATE?

They passed by a draft, and Chris coughed into his elbow violently. Martin didn’t appear as affected.

Tessa checked the air quality again. “You guys are gonna want filters and a suit, it’s ‘bouta get real nasty down in the pits,” she said. “One of these rooms ought to have filters.”Uzi thought it was stupid. That’s one good thing about being AI, she thought.

<;- Part One Part Three ->

[lydiahosek]

An Ounce of Prevention

[My story for this year's @inklings-challenge! Thank you for a third great year!]

“What are these made of?” Pendula handles one of my mangled Keds with fascination.

“Uh…canvas. It’s a type of cloth.” I have no idea what their frame of reference might be for anything from our world, what Dylan may or may not have already told them. “And the soles are rubber…I think.”

“How do these last you any more than a day?”

"Well...the terrain's not as rough."

I hear a thump and then Picea squeaking in surprise. I turn and see the toddler staring at one of Dylan’s shoes, the red bulbs in its sole blinking. Dylan laughs. He picks the other one up and taps it against the floor for her to see. She is dazzled by the light show.

Dylan has always been an imaginative kid. An overturned watering can becomes a supervillain helmet. Elaborate dramas are concocted not just for his action figures but for his toy trucks, his silverware, his socks. His room is practically papered with his drawings of heroes, monsters, adventures. So when he told me that he had found another world in the back of the laundry room and invited me to see, I don’t think I could be blamed for agreeing to a visit without packing a change of clothes.

I should count my blessings. After all, how many children would keep this all to themselves, or among their friends, rather than bring Mom in and risk her spoiling the fun? This is hard to do, though, with my feet still stinging from the teeth of fifty or so things with too many legs to be fish and too good at swimming to be lizards. I had barely registered the marbled sky suddenly above us and the water suddenly up to our ankles before a crowd of them was barreling down on us from every direction. Swallowing a scream, I scooped up Dylan and made a break for the nearest structure. Pendula saw us coming, let us in, and introduced herself to me. I learned that Dylan met her and her granddaughter the last time he was here, but the hungry little creatures outside are new.

As I took in the space into which we’d been welcomed, I was reminded of an old picture book I used to have, The Elves and the Shoemaker – though in this case our host is both. The spacious room is lined with shelves of materials and tools and jars of who-knew-what, with a long table in the center piled with foot-shaped objects at different stages of creation. Pendula herself looks like she was once tall but now walks stooped. Her skin hangs in folds around her face but her complexion is rosy and elastic. Her movements are quick and sharp, as when she caught a small wooden bowl when Picea first bounded into the room and knocked it off a table. Her voice is raspy but not weak, as when she asked Dylan to take the little girl to the other side of the room (as close to a division between the living area and working area as there is) so she could focus on bandaging my feet.

Now she brings me a roll of something thick and shiny, gold with streaks of red like veins. She begins to unroll it and wrap it around my calf. “This is a strong hide coated in worpwax,” she says. “It will be pliable again once heated, so I’ll have you and your boy fitted and shod before nightfall.”

“Oh…well, thank you, but, um…” I have no idea what this material is worth or how much Pendula might charge under normal circumstances for whatever she has in mind to make for us. Even if I did, I am certain she doesn’t take American Express.

Apparently the guilt of those unaccustomed to unconditional hospitality is multi-universal, because she understands and shakes her head at my concern. “This is overdue. I meant to at least take Dylan’s measurements last time, but he left so suddenly. Granted, it was still the dry season then, but nobody should be out in this country unprotected.”

“Dry season?”

“Yes. For about a month the waters draw back to only the deepest parts of the valley, but you can count on them – and their inhabitants” (she very lightly taps my foot) “– nearly up to the door the rest of the year.”

I’d noticed outside that the door, the whole house, was about a foot off of the ground on a stone foundation. I’d noticed once we were inside the effort it took her to close the door, how heavy it was, how very, very little space there was for anything to get through once it was closed. I glance out the window and see other houses not far away. A breeze has picked up and miniature waves lap against their sides.

Again, Pendula seems to know what I’m thinking (perhaps telepathy is another feature common to this world, or maybe I’m just more obvious than I thought) and laughs. “Just a matter of preference. I could move up to the hills and have my house near blown down by the winds. Or I could move beyond the mountains and stuff it with featherweed to keep out the poison arrow flies. Or...”

I sigh. To think Dylan just stumbled into this place one day. What if it hadn’t happened to have been during the dry season? What other seasons await…here or back home, for that matter? Just this morning Alec and I were discussing whether we should let him take his bike to the library by himself. That should seem like nothing compared to this, but somehow now I'm only more uneasy at the thought.

Pendula holds the hide against my feet and legs at various angles and marks it with a tiny blade. “My Parsonsy, she was the same. She would have stayed in this house barefoot all her life. But if she doesn’t leave, she doesn’t sell her candles.” She nods her head backwards. I look and see another window, in which sits a pale pink candle, carved with an intricate design and embedded with colored stones. “She doesn’t learn to make honey bread from the market stand next to hers.” The corners of her mouth turn up nearly to her eyes. “She doesn’t meet an honest, loving ironcaster and bring me back a Picea.”

We both turn to the children. Dylan’s shoes are now on his hands and he crawls on the floor, growling. Picea alternately runs to and away from him, giggling.

“Who knows? Maybe someday she’ll go to visit him.” She smiles, then stands up and takes the hide to the table and picks up a large curved knife. “Wherever she goes, though, one thing is sure: she will have proper shoes.”

I keep watching my son. He’s always been an imaginative kid, and the more reality he is forced to face the more I worry. Now he has two whole worlds of it to deal with.

He did tell me about this one, though. He knows enough to know not to deal with it alone. And when the day comes that he’ll have to…well, before it comes I’ll have to make (keep making?) him some proper shoes, too.

[dalishthunder]

Destiny Waits for No One

Chapter 4 - Fool's Gold

Pairing: Eventual Nebarra/LDB (Gender Neutral Reader) Other Characters: Kaidan, Xelzaz, Lucifer, Khash, Inigo, and Lucien Rating: Mature Words: 1875 Additional notes: Very slow burn, frenemies to lovers, Nebarra is an ass, Xelzaz continues to be the coolest Read on AO3

The wing beats were growing distant, and with a quick glance to the skies, you sprinted forward, coming to a sliding halt by the survivor's side. Already, you could feel the heat radiating from their armor.

"Fan out! Get Khash to that barrow we saw not too far back!" You called out over your shoulder.

"On it, Dargonborn!" Behind you, you could hear Khash's protests as Lucifer coaxed her to follow him.

"Inigo, I heard it in that direction, scout it out. No heroics, get back here alive."

"Aye, aye."

As he disappeared into the mists, you reached down to the poor sap, gently helping them sit up. "Are you alright?"

"I'm bleeding out like a gutted nebarra. Of course I'm not alright." He hissed, breath shaky, coming in ragged gasps.

"Hold still, I can heal you." You'd been practicing your healing hands since the last dragon attack. Xelzaz had been more than willing to teach you.

"No!" He coughed, the sound wet, almost bubbling in his throat. "I've seen the kind of scars the legion came away with.Healing potions."

You nodded, fishing around in your pack and pulling out one of the condensed formulas you'd been experimenting with. "Here. Drink this then."

He lifted his helmet only a fraction, and you saw only a very bloody chin as he gulped it down.

You listened intently for the sounds of anyone else, but all of the other bodies were charred beyond recognition. "I'm sorry about your friends."

"Not my friends." His breaths began to steady after a moment, the potion beginning to work its magic.

"O... kay then." You could vaguely see a set of gold eyes staring warily at you from the eye slits of his helm. "Well, who did we save today?"

"... Nebarra. Just... just call me Nebarra." Something about the way he said it almost sounded... defeated.

"That's um... an interesting name." You said, not quite liking how it had rolled off his tongue.

"It isn't a name, it's an insult." He rasped, and he stretched his back, joints popping and crackling like the fire that had consumed the carriage. "It means unwelcome and foreigner in Altmer."

You frowned, "Why would you want me to call you something like that?"

"Because I don't want to tell you my name, and I feel like a bloody nebarra in Skyrim." Strength was beginning to come back to his voice, and his cadence coupled with the condescending way you spoke was... grating.

But you figured he did just survive something traumatic so you let it slide, and you stood, offering your hand to help him to his feet. "Alright then. Where were you headed? Do we need to get you anywhere?"

Nebarra got up on his own. "Not anymore. I was a caravan guard. Ernurd wanted to avoid the roads, so we stuck to the forest. Figured it was contraband or something... must not have been that important if he left most of it out here though. Not that any of that bleeding matters with a giant lizard that can light up a whole valley flying about."

Inigo crept around the cart, "It appears to have headed for the mountains. We should be safe for now."

"Oh, great, a cat.Let me guess, you have contraband as well?" The altmer sounded bored.

You stepped between him and Inigo, "No contraband here. Just a group of intrepid adventurers."

"... Lovely. Well, I unfortunately don't have much that wasn't completely incinerated, and Ernurd certainly isn't going to pay me anymore, so instead of coin, I suppose you can have my sword at your side."

"We don't just let anyone travel with us," You lied.

... Well it wasn't a full lie. You had turned Lydia away when you'd been appointed Thane of Whiterun, and left her back at Dragonsreach.

"What skills do you bring to the table?"

He cracked his neck, rolling his shoulders. "I think you'll find I'm very, very good at killing things."

"And yet, the Dragonborn was the one to save you." Kaidan eyed up your new potential companion with a great disdain, slowly stepping closer until he was only a few feet away. "And you don't even seem particularly grateful."

"What about offering my services free of charge doesn't seem grateful?" Nebarra crossed his arms, straightening up.

You placed a hand on your companion's shoulder, "I'm a thane now. It's my job to save people, Kai. And there's a dragon out there. We have strength in numbers, so let's just get him to safety and discuss compensation after."

"Heel boy." You could hear the sneer in Nebarra's voice. "It seems at least your leader has some sense."

"I'll show you some sense-"

"Enough." Your eyes looked your newest... potential recruit over as you motioned for everyone to head back to the cave to pick up Khash and Lucifer. "Xelzaz, where's the closest settlement?"

"Falkreath. It shouldn't be too far from here."

"Good. Lead the way... mind the skies, everyone." You walked in silence, scanning your surroundings for danger, falling into step beside Nebarra. "I think we got off on the wrong foot, friend-"

"Oh hohoho... we're not friends. I owe you a life debt, no need to take it further than that."

You narrowed your eyes at him.

He truly was grating.

"If we're going to be travelling together, I don't see how it would hurt to at least try."

He turned to look at you, face frustratingly hidden by his helm. "You're new to the whole adventuring thing, aren't you?"

"What makes you think that?" Your smile didn't waver.

"Look, uh.... What did you say your name was?"

"I did-"

He cut you off with a shake of the head, raising a hand to stop you, "Doesn't really matter given you'll probably be dead in a few days. Don't become an adventurer to find yourself; You'll sooner find your grave."

Deep breaths.

Deep breaths.

"You can't talk to the Dragonborn like that!" Lucifer cut in.

"The what?"

"A legendary hero of Skyrim that can shout and eats dragon souls."

Nebarra just laughed... a grating, wretched noise, "Of course I can, I'm the long lost prince of Alinor."

That cause Lucifer pause, and you placed a hand on his shoulder. "Doesn't a prince usually wear a crown?"

He... didn't take to subtlety or sarcasm very well.

"Hence the Long Lost," Drawled the elf.

"That still doesn't give you the right to talk to The Dragonborn like that."

"Yeah!" Khash butt in. "Do not be rude to our friend!"

"Oh, good. Another one."

You exchanged a glance with Xelzaz. "Hey, guys," You interjected, "How about a song for the road to lift the spirits?"

"That is an excellent idea, my friend!" Your Khajiit companion gave you a wolfish smile.

"I'm beginning to think you didn't actually save my life.... You just ruined my death." Nebarra muttered, walking faster to get away from the noise as Inigo began to sing his rendition of Ragnar the Red.

You joined in once or twice, but you didn't quite know the words.

Xelzaz being pleasant, and lovely, as ever introduced himself with some sort of Altmeri greeting only to be rudely dismissed.

"I'm afraid I'm at my limit of for my knowledge of High Elven words."

"Yes, I do imagine the complexities of elf-tongue would prove a difficult task for a slek such as yoursel-"

It took you two bounds to cross the distance.

Torque in the hips. Fist extended. "FUS!"

Your punch sent the elf flying, the intentions of Force behind it strengthening the blow.

Ignoring the blossoming pain in your hand from where bare skin and bone had met with the metal of his armor. "You do NOT speak to him like that. Ever again. Am I understood, fahliil?"

The word had rolled off your tongue as though they were something you understood.

And for some reason... you did.

Fahliil.

Elf.

The singing stopped. All eyes on you once more.

Khash let out a little whoop. "Tusk yeah! Get his ass! Can I punch him next?"

"What in Oblivion was That?" Nebarra hissed, his armor had cushioned him from the full force of the blow.

"That wasn't really necessary," Xelzaz said. "I'm more than capable of dealing with people like him."

But your blood boiled, "You shouldn't have to." You slowly made your way to where Nebarra was sitting up. "You owe me a life debt, and I am willing to overlook how unpleasant you are to me. But Xelzaz is my friend, and I'll not have you speak to any of my friends like that. I will not tolerate slurs in this party. Got it?"

You exhaled, extending out a hand to help him up. He immediately batted it away, getting to his feet himself. "We're going to get along just swimmingly aren't we?"

"Clearly."

He hung back towards the rear as you all walked in silence. The mood thoroughly ruined.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm, friend." Xelzaz chuckled after a moment, finally locating the road to Falkreath. He must have noticed your hand because he took it in his own and began inspecting it. "But people like Nebarra aren't worth getting upset over."

"Do you think we should let him travel with us?"

The bruise that had begun to bloom receded as he cast healing hands on you. "That's up to you. I won't complain one way or another."

Gods, he was so cool.

You wished you could keep your cool like that.

"We'll see how he fairs next time we encounter some bandits or something...." You mumbled.

"I say we ditch him the first town we get to." Kaidan muttered, glowering at your newest recruit.

"No... he owes me a life debt, and I'll see he repays it." You narrowed your eyes at Nebarra as well.

"What happened to him proving himself?" Xelzaz asked.

"I've made up my mind. He's coming with us. Just let me know if he mistreats you."

The gates of Falkreath loomed before you.

"I think that's a bad idea, friend. He'd betray you for a single septim, I can smell it on him." Kaidan huffed.

You just winked at him. "And that's where you come in. If he betrays me, I know you'll be able to keep me safe."

You almost missed the way his ears flushed as he gave you a sheepish chuckle, "Aye.... Our bond is forged in battle, I've got back."

"Good." Patting his arm, you ran a few paces ahead to jump up and slap the sign of the inn. "It's settled then. We'll rest the rest of the day, recover, get a few ales, and set out for Riverwood in the morning."

"Won't say no to that plan." Kai grinned. "Hopefully they'll have a good bard.... No offense, Inigo."

"I wasn't offended until you said that." Inigo gave him a dry look.

You all got food, eating with a reedy man named Lucien who offered you a great sum of gold to travel with you. And so your party grew by two in one day.

Kaidan and Khash danced to the bard's tunes, and the mood stayed fairly light... except for one surly elf sipping wine through a straw in the corner.

[moonlite-drabbles]

Misc Tales of Dottore’s Creation Sucrose’s Childhood - Fic Preview

“Hello little thing.” Columbina smiled down at her. Her voice was very soft, perpetually a whisper. “You heard my song?”

Sucrose nodded silently, a little shy at interrupting the lady.

“Did you like it? It’s new. A funeral song I haven’t gotten the chance to sing.”

“It was very pretty.”

A smile stretched over her face, pleased with something Sucrose had done. “The Doctor’s charge Hm? So sad, the way you're dressed. He truly knows nothing of beauty. Come on.”

Columbina hopped off her nonexistent perch, feet touching the ground in the way an Angel’s never should. She immediately scooped Sucrose up into her arms, carrying her out of the ballroom.

~

“Hm.” He turned away, wandering to one of the waiting chairs. “I’ll stick around until he’s back.”

Rude.

Sucrose tried to ignore his eyes on her. She was working on a difficult set of bones. The actual bones she’d already pieced together, but she couldn’t identify it properly. A lizard with a set of teeth that didn’t quite fit in with the examples in her book. The pictures gave it a set of uniform, small sharp teeth. This one had large incisors and flatter molars. But none of the other species were closer.

She felt her frustration grow. Scaramouche was watching her flip through the book, a flustered blush growing on her cheeks. None of them were right! And Dottore was gone so she couldn’t ask him.

“It’s not in your book.” Scaramouche eventually said. She looked at him in confusion. “It’s a subspecies native to one of Inazuma's islands. It eats crabs.”

“Oh.” She said simply, tilting her head at the offending skeleton. Maybe he was good for something. “Thank you.”

“Hmph. It was obvious.”

“There, um, is a couple other bones that don’t match up. Could you look at them?” She asked tentatively.

Scaramouche considered it for a second. “…Well I have little else to do until the doctor returns. Show me.”

~

Perhaps she had misunderstood how a library worked.

Sucrose squeaked as Miss Lisa snatched her by the collar of her dress, and suddenly her feet were dangling a few feet above the floor.

Her ears pinned back in fear as she clutched the books to her chest. Unsure of what she did, she stared up guiltily at the young librarian.

“Oh aren’t you a darling.” Miss Lisa cooed, looking over the girl she captured. After a moment, she lowered Sucrose back down onto her feet. “Is this your first time in a library?”

Sucrose wobbled a bit, but regained her footing and looked up at the terrifying woman who’d captured her. She was tall, with light brown hair in a loose braid, and a purple sundress.

“…Yes?” She whispered, an obvious accent still clinging to her speech from Liyue and Snezhnaya.

“Hm, I figured after seeing your adorably cute panic.” She tapped a finger on Sucrose on the nose and gently pulled the books from the girl’s arms. “Unfortunately for you, cutie, you have to check out the books before you leave with them. Come here, I’ll get you set up with a library card.”

“Ok, sorry…”

“Tongue tied? Come on, I don’t bite. You though, you’ve got some canines on you, hm?”

~

Up Now (along with a few other scenes) on AO3!

[karineverse]

you may not have drawn them all but you did so well! They all turned out so nicely.

omg the way there's art - in the form of butterflies all around Ink with the red lighting cast upon him. It's like he's in his own little world doodling away! Very well done! Expresses his creativity like he's creating life with his silly tongue sticking out because he's so concentrated

and then the messing with Error?? So funny. Error's silly eyebrows caught my eyes because the little squiggles are so squiggly. Makes him almost seem like he doesn't mind Ink pestering him so much!

Ink staring into the mirror is still slightly funny because of the face he's making in the mirror. I think you meant for it to come off as sad? Since pure white space coupled seeing himself bare would likely remind him of not so fun times

Dream holding the little candle like he's about to go somewhere in the middle of the night. He looks so tired. The lighting you did is well done and pleasing to look at. Even though I am worried for the state of Dream's sanity

If I add the Dream getting the unwanted visitor to the candle lighting practice you did, it creates almost a story. Like, he hears the knock and instead of turning the light on right away. Maybe his old mannerisms kick in and he lights the candle and walks downstairs to go see who's knocking? And that's why he's so tired. Man, someone please let him get some good sleep. He looks so done with everything

and then and then and then, my favorite you did HAS to be Dream holding the lizard. He looks so happy to be holding the little creature and the colors? MWUAH. THANK YOU FOR THIS MASTERPIECE!!! Happy Dream is best Dream

Thank you for coming to my ted talk (aka gushing about how much I love your art)

OH MY GOD thank you so much 🥺🥺🥺 I can see you actually looked at it and aaaaa thank you 🥹

Ahem here we go

I wanted to try a different thing with every drawing! Though I tried the same thing on two of them they look completely different!! And yeah Ink was doodling plants and bugs so I figured out I should add it as a background instead of showing his work.

Ehehe I'm glad you like Error's eyebrows 🥺 maybe he's not that bothered by having a bit of someone else instead of himself.

Look it looks like that cuz I suck with perspective okay??? 😭 I fucked up the mirror thing and it just looks very... Weird at very least... But yeah!! He is the only colorful thing on the picture, the whole room is while and empty and the only thing there is a mirror that only reveals that he's just like the room (see how that sounded really cool while the drawing looks like shit?) I also forgot a scar I wanted him to have and other details but I'm not gonna even stress about it.

Ok so, I like to talk about this a bit... Ahem. I draw Dream like that (tired, a bit sad, nervous, and all that) both because their face is literally just like that and because they are actually tired from all that he's been gone through, specially since he had to deal with ALL THAT after being a stone for 500 years (plus he was a child before). He doesn't sleep properly (he could go days without sleeping but it does help), and the anxiety won't let him just be in peace for a damn second, but still his face is also just built like that. And thank you for giving me a reason to draw a candle again, I kinda like drawing those :].

Lizards are the most precious creatures ever, I know.

Thank you for giving me such fun drawing prompts AND talking about them in details AND letting me ramble about them too!!!!! You're the best anon goodnight 🥺🥺🥺🥺

[heir-of-the-chair]

What’s wrong with stranger things and umbrella academy? /gen

Okay. I knew I was gonna get this and here it is.

Stranger Things:

One of the motifs in stranger things is number tattoos on the wrists of the characters imprisoned and tortured by the bad guys. And now actual real life fans of stranger things are getting tattoos similar to these and the show’s accounts on social media have even been supporting and promoting this. Because number tattoos on wrists/arms definitely have no deep historical context that this show is copying and fans making light of. /s

Also in case that wasn’t bad enough for stranger things, s4 was shot at a nazi prison in Lithuania. Let me repeat: Stranger Things season 4 was shot at a Nazi. Prison. They used it as a film site. And if that somehow wasn’t bad enough, oh yeah by the way they’re turning it into a Stranger Things themed AirBnB where you get to your the prison and eat waffles like the characters in the show! (Yes actually.) And yeah obviously they really haven’t done anything to at least pretend that they were sorry for any of this and I know for a fact that many fans do know this but continue to watch the show anyway.

Some sources on this:

The Umbrella Academy:

This one is a lot simpler to explain but it’s very easy to miss if you don’t know the context. The antagonists of tua are a secret organization of Yiddish speaking lizard people controlling the worlds events from behind the scenes. Now if you don’t know about the antisemetic origins of like. Most conspiracy theories, then the only bad thing here seems to be the antagonists speaking Yiddish. But there’s context to this that a lot of people don’t know despite Jews having spoken about it A Lot.

Here’s the part that gets harder to explain but the short of it is there is a very famous forged document from 1903 called “The Protocols of the Elders of Zion” basically ‘detailing’ how we Jews secretly control the banks and the government and the media and history and basically the whole world because we’re evil. Starting to sound familiar?

This is also where the whole lizard people conspiracy comes from. The “lizard people” are just stand-ins for Jews, and that is while not as explicitly antisemetic as “the evil Jews are controlling the world” that is where the conspiracy theory comes from.

Last but not least, the Yiddish part. They could have had the handler speak literally any language on earth and they chose it to be Yiddish. That was an active choice made by the writers, this is a piece of media on an extremely popular platform with a very high budget. They could have had her just, you know, not speak Yiddish, but they did. A minority language associated with this same group of people that MANY PEOPLE STILL DO believe runs the world in a similar manner.

Sources for this part:

https://www.jewishexponent.com/2020/08/06/critics-say-scene-in-netflix-series-the-umbrella-academy-promotes-anti-semitic-stereotype/

(Forgive that this article deadnames Eliot Page because it was written before he came out as trans, that should not be the takeaway you get from it.)

I will say next time you have a question like this, remember that you are on tumblr, there is a search bar, you can look up “[insert piece of media here] problematic” and find stuff. I wrote this because I know people don’t generally look stuff up because it’s easier to just ask but generally the people who are pointing it out are the ones affected and these kinds of explanations are labor we do because we know no one false will. I don’t mean to sound mean about this but I stand by it.

Am I telling you to stop watching these shows? Well in my personal opinion yes, but I don’t control you, do with this information what you will. And last thing, to anyone reading this who’s thinking “but they have good queer representation!” Representation for one group should not come at the cost of harm to another.

[rocksandrobots]

Phantoms of the Past - Chapter 45: Mission Possible: Part 4

 "Impressive." Shego clapped as Hardlight floated back down to join her and Dr. Drakken. "So now what?"

 "Now we find Kim Possible and crush her." Drakken growled as he squeezed his fist tight.

 "Uh-huh... and your plan is..." Hardlight asked.

 "I'm glad you asked." Drakken grinned as he waltzed back to the computer banks that controlled the device that the supers were now trapped in. "My neurospace-cabulator uploads the brain waves of its respective host into a matrix, bending them completely to my will."

 Shego raised a skeptical eyebrow. "So you mind controlled a bunch of old geezers?"

 "Old geezers with superpowers, remember?" Drakken corrected as he punched more commands into the computer

 Shego and Hardlight could only shrug at each other while his back was turned.

 "Let's see Kim Possible stand up to this." He chuckled to himself as he pulled down a lever on the controls.

                                                 --------------------

  Hiro and Baymax flew down to meet up with the rest of Big Hero Six and their newfound allies.

 "We checked all around the upper levels, no way in there."

 "And we couldn't find anything on the ground level either." Honey Lemon sighed.

 Kim pulled out the green communicator and spoke into it, "Wade?"

 "Yeah... I got nothin'." Wade's voice sounded out. "The entire building is surrounded by a solid wall of hard light. That kind of tech is still supposed to be years away from being developed. Whoever this Hardlight guy is, he's no slouch in the brainiac department."

 "So we got two evil geniuses on our hands?" Ron whined. "Oh man."

 "Well good thing we got our own team of geniuses." Kim smiled.

 "So how do we get rid of a wall of light?" Gogo thought out loud.

 "Maybe I can super heat it with my fire breath?" Fred suggested.

 Honey Lemon shook her head. "It's too big Freddie, and he's no doubt keeping it cool from the inside."

 "Yeah and we don't want to risk any of the surrounding buildings." Hiro agreed.

 "I could probably get us in using my portal magnets, but they're going to spot us as soon as we enter." Varian mussed.

 "And we've no way of knowing where they're all hiding in such a big building." Wasabi confirmed. "Meaning they can get the drop on us anyways."

 "Looks like you'll have to break out your Chameleon suit Fred." Hiro said.

 "Ummm... do you mean the rubber suit that looks like a giant lizard?" Wade asked over the communicator.

 "Uh yeah?" Fred hesitantly agreed.

 "The little guy kind of short circuited it."

 "MOLE!!!"

 "Soooorrrrrry!" Mole's voice sounded from off screen. "I accidentally spilled soda on it while looking for my su- My Suit! I have a super suit! I knew it! I knew it! And it's just my size!"

 Mole ran on screen carrying a small red lizard suit. "Oh I knew you guys were going to make me a part of the team! You already had a suit made for me and everything! Oh and it's perfect! Just how I would have designed it, with cup holders and springs and everything! What does it do? Huh? What are my powers? Do I get to breathe ICE!?"

 The members of Big Hero Six exchanged awkward glances with each other.

 Varian raised an eyebrow "You built Mole a suit?"

 "It's a long story." Hiro sighed.

 "I told you we should have used an amnesia-tino." Honey Lemon whispered to Wasabi who nodded in agreement.

 ``What are you guys whispering about?" Mole grunted as he tried on his suit.

 "Oh nothing." Honey Lemon hastily called out.

 "So now what?" Gogo asked.

 "I guess someone needs to use Tadashi's suit... but I don't know who it'd fit...."

 No sooner did he finish talking then did Varian finish opening a portal. There stood Tadashi; a look of shock and irritation on his face.

 "Oh, come on!"

 Varian smiled. "I expanded the mini-portals for long distance travel. I figured it would come in handy."

 "What happened to, 'you deserve a vacation.'?" Tadashi complained

 "Sorry big bro, but we kind of need your help." Hiro shrugged.

 "What about me? I can help... toooowoooah!" There came the sound of a crash over the communicator.

 "You stay put." Gogo ordered.

 "And put that suit up before you break it too!" Fred yelled over her shoulder.

 "Tadashi,-dōshita no?" Baba's voice rang out from the next room.

 "Uh.. Terebi keshi teru dake. I'm going to step out from some... uh.. milk Baba. I'll be right back. Mata chikaiuchini o ai shimashou." Tadashi yelled goodbye as he stepped back through the portal. "So... which loonatic in spandex are we facing today?"

                                                --------------------

 Hardlight scanned the wall of code that came up on the computer display, trying to commit to memory what he could. He didn't know if Drakken's brainwashing machine would work or not, but if it did, then Ian wanted to be in on it.

 "Studying hard?" Shego whispered over his shoulder and Hardlight stiffened at being caught spying.

 "O-of course." He turned around and gave her a winsome smile, not that she could see it through the dark visor of his helmet. "I want to learn from the best and this is some impressive coding."

 Shego raised an eyebrow. "If you're such a smart guy, then why do you need Dr. D's invention? You got your own tech. What are you up to?"

 "I don't need it." Ian laughed. "But as you say, I'm a smart guy. I don't let opportunities pass me by." He hopped onto his hover disk and flew out of her reach. "I've been honest about what I want. I want to defeat Big Hero Six once and for all. I think the good doctor can help with that, in exchange for me helping him bring down this Kim person."

 "You expect me to believe that?" Shego scoffed as her hands lit up with green fire, however she was momentarily tripped up when Ian flew directly towards her. He leaned in and shoved his face into hers. They would have been nose to nose if not for the helmet, which reflected back her own image.

 "I don't expect you to believe anything, after all you seem pretty 'smart' yourself. So if we're playing the honesty game here, then what's your angle?"

 "Angle?"

 "Sure. I mean do you really follow that loser around just out of loyalty?"

 Shego crossed her arms and shrugged. "He's the best paying mad scientist in the business." Then she smiled wickedly. "Plus, I get to enjoy all the perks."

 She jumped and took a swipe at him. Ian barely had time to fly out of the way.

 He hovered higher up into the air and gloated down at her. "Touchy. You mean you never thought about going solo before?.... Like, ever?"

 "Too much work." Shego yelled back before jumping onto several pipes to reach her opponent.

 Hardlight quickly brought up a light shield to block her attack, he then punched a command into his gauntlet and purple pterodactyls with sharp breaks flew at the supervillainess.

 She dispatched them with ease, but it gave him time to move out of her reach.

 "I don't get then," Ian shook his head as he floated up towards the ceiling, "If you've no skin in the game, why play?"

 Shego snorted with laughter, "Why? 'Cause it's fun. I mean what else am I going to do with flaming green hands, join the circus?"

 "Ahhh.. so you're like me. You're in it for the challenge." Hardlight circled around her mischievously. "Come on, you know you're better than him... why waste your time being second fiddle?"

 Shego dropped her defensive stance for just a moment, only a moment, but Ian noticed the look of confusion on her face anyways. She really didn't have an answer to that question. Then suddenly she kicked his hover disk out from underneath him and he hit the concrete floor with a groan.

 The cocky smile returned to Shego's face as she leered over him. "Good thing you were wearing armor, huh?"

 "Yeah, uh, good thing." Ian grunted as he slowly sat up.

 She bent down till she was face to face with him. "You said you like a challenge. Well how's this game? You step out of line and I kick your rear end again, huh?"

 Hardlight was going to retort back when the door opened and Drakken re-entered the main computer room.

 "Ah, Shego, training the new recruit, are we?" He beamed at them.

 "You could say that..." She smiled and gave Hardlight a knowing look.

 "Excellent!" Drakken marched over to the computer screen as Hardlight and Shego glared at each other challengingly. Ian hated being toyed with. That was his job! But he couldn't risk revealing himself now and they both knew it.

 "So what's the next step of this master plan?" he asked as he stood back up.

 "I've finished the final upgrades for my brilliant invention." Drakken replied as he finished uploading some files. "Now all that's left is to lure Kim Possible here."

                                                --------------------

 The gathered superheros watched as a garage door slid open in the back of the warehouse. Suddenly Tadashi appeared, as if out of thin air, holding the door aloft and wearing his super suit.

 "I disabled the alarms, repeated an empty feedback loop for the security cams, and fed energy away from this door to the front  of the building. With any luck they won't know we're here till we're on top of them."

 "We're are they located?" Hiro asked.

 "They're in the central control room, what would normally be the main hanger, but this Hardlight dude has some sort of maze built leading up to it."

 "That shouldn't be a problem." Varian said as he pulled out his portal magnets again.

 "No, but the fact that they have three other people kidnapped might be."

 "Kidnapped?" Kim echoed

 Tadashi nodded. "Yeah, three old people wearing funny suits."

 "Funny suits?" Gogo asked, horrified as realization hit her.

 Fred figured it out as soon as she did, and let out a very audible gasp. "They've captured the world's greatest superheroes. The living legends themselves! Oh this is bad."

 "Just to clarify, we're talking about those three geezers from the convention, right?" Wasabi asked.

 Tadashi shrugged. "Whoever they are; they have them suspended in these glass cages and they're hooked up to some sort of machinery. It looked like they were unconscious and the machine was reading their bio-signals."

 "Drakken." Kim and Ron said simultaneously.

 "Then do you know what he's doing to them?" Honey Lemon nervously asked.

 Ron shook his head. "No idea, but that sounds like his MMO."

 "Drakken prefers to steal what he can rather than build his own stuff," Kim explained, "but usually he kidnaps scientists and other inventors, not superheroes."

 Hiro stood in thought for a moment. "Alright... Tadashi, you'll be in charge of freeing the superheroes while the rest of us fight off Hardlight and Drakken."

 "Don't forget Shego." Ron said, "She's the one you really have to watch out for."

 "Hmm, hmm." Ruffus chirped in agreement on his shoulder.

 "We can take her." Gogo said as she gave Kim a friendly nudge.

 Kim nodded in agreement and gave her two thumbs up. "Yeah, we got this."

 "Alright, Honey Lemon and Varian, you'll handle Drakken's plant monsters, Wasabi you'll cover them, and the rest of us will take on Hardlight."

 "Well then what are we waiting for?" Wasabi grinned as he walked into the darkened hallway. "Let's Go save the daaaahhh!"

 Wasabi let out a scream as he accidentally stepped into the waiting jaws of a light monster, this one shaped like a treasure chest with teeth. He furiously backpedaled away before his limbs could get caught between such teeth.

 He stabbed the snarling creature and it dissipated, only for more hard-light monsters to appear. These looked like flying bats.

 "Automated defense systems." Hiro exclaimed. "We need to get out here quickly before we're discovered."

 Varian was already ahead of him and a portal appeared beside them. They all ran through, and into another hallway.

 "Wh-where are we now?" Honey Lemon asked, breathing hard, as the portal closed behind them.

 Varian shrugged. "Somewhere in the building still, but I've no idea where this main control room is."

 Everyone turned to Tadashi, expectedly.

 "Don't look at me. I've no idea where we're at either. All I know is we're somewhere in the middle of the maze."

 Hiro sighed. "If we have to work our way through the maze, we'll be noticed for sure."

 "And that'll give more time for Drakken to do whatever it is he's going to do. I don't know what he has planned, but you can be sure it's something bad." Kim said.

 "I have an idea." Ron suddenly said and walked over to place a hand on Varian's shoulder. Ruddiger peered around on his other shoulder and Rufus stuck his tongue out at the raccoon, who returned the gesture.

 "Varian and I will cause a distraction and lure some of the villains away while you sneak into the main computer room."

 Varian only looked confused by the suggestion. "Why me?"

 "Because 'distraction duty' is typical sidekick stuff."

 Varian scrunched his face up in revulsion. "I'm not a sidekick!"

 "Really? Cause you're not a part of the main group, you need saving a lot, and you have a lovable furry mascot on your shoulder."

 Varian worked his mouth in protest, but only unintelligible gutters of offense would come out.

 His friends didn't pass up the opportunity to take dig at his expense.

 "You are the one who always claims he's not a superhero." Gogo said.

 "And you do have a furry mascot." Hiro slyly smiled.

 "Not to mention, you've been either kidnapped or attacked by random goons and supervillains at least six times in the past eight months." Fred counted on his fingers.

 "You're also incredibly annoying," Tadashi gloated. "perfect as a distraction."  

 "B-but who will work the portal?" Varain whined, unable to combat their points.

 "I will." Tadashi said, snatching magnets out of his hand. "I have a better idea of where the main hanger is anyways."

 And with no further argument he opened another portal to a different part of the maze. As everyone else went through, Ron led a still confused Varian away in the opposite direction.

                                                --------------------

 An alarm rang out inside the central control room.

 "Looks like we got some pests running around." Shego stated as she viewed a security camera. The fuzzy face of a raccoon was sniffing at the lens, then the familiar buck-toothed image of a certain naked mole rat joined him. The creature stuck out its tongue and waggled its paws as if to taunt whoever was watching.

 "What the..?" Hardlight asked as he and Drakken peered at the screen from behind her.

 Then the camera zoomed out to reveal the pets owners holding them. They too waved at the camera with smug smiles.

 "Ron Stoppable!?" Drakken fumed. "Then that means... no wait. This is what we want. The sidekicks must be causing a distraction so that Kim and her new friends can get the drop on us."

 "Sooooo we're just going to wait for them?" Shego asked.

 "Certainly, my dear Shego. when Kim arrives we spring the trap and -"

 "And then get your butt kicked!" A voice called out.

 All three villains turned to see several superheroes fly through a portal into the room.

 "Or you can just surrender now and save yourself the trouble?" Kim commented.

 Drakken seethed at her for a brief second before slipping into a smile. "Oh I don't think so."

 He took a step backwards towards the computer console and flicked a switch. The machine holding the elderly supers lit up and started to hum.

 Kim and Big Hero Six share a couple of worried and confused looks, and then suddenly a bright flash flared in front of them and there stood three human shaped figures made of blue hard-light.

 They looked like younger versions of the legendary trio of supers, complete with their retro costumes.

 Fred couldn't help but squee with joy when he saw him. "Eeeeep! Hehehe! I can't believe we get to fight brainwashed versions of the most prolific superheroes of our time!"

 "Fred!"

  Everyone shouted at him and he hastily stopped clapping and jumping in place.

 "Oh, yeah, right... heroing time."

 He coughed and took up a fighting pose.

 It did little good. The light version of Lima punched the ground hard and a small earthquake ruptured under their feet.

                                                --------------------

 Ian watched the superheroes fighting each other with interest, as he stood with Drakken and Shego on the slightly raised dais that held the computer banks.

 "You used my hard-light technology to construct vessels for your brain washed supers."

 Drakken smiled wide. "I knew you'd appreciate it. It was a last minute addition to my brilliant plan. Instead of risking the hosts, their hard-light clones take the brunt of the attack while still emulating the original counterpart's powers."

 They watched as the green suited superhero tried to slice through one of the light clones ineffectively.

 "Not to mention they're practically indestructible." He grinned wickedly.

 "You know, Dr. D, I had my doubts, but I'll admit this is one of your better plans." Shego said as she leaned over the banister to admire Kim and two of the other heroes get chased around by the flying light clone.

 Ian was a little more guarded with his praise. "How did you solve the projector issue?"

 "Oh a simple self-sustaining feedback loop. With a little tinkering, and our soon to be newest recruits," he said this as the Fearless Ferret clone tried to shove the pink armored girl into one of the brainwashing tubes. She was rescued by the girl with yellow skates at the last minute. "We can build an entire functioning army of super powered, invulnerable light clones, and release them on the whole world. First San Fansokyo, tomorrow Washington!"

 "D.C.?" Shego asked.

 "No, Seattle. I hear the sunsets are lovely upon the bay this time of year."

 "You'll never, ugh... get away with this Drakken!" Kim managed to yell back at him as she dodged a punch from the light clone of Miracle Maiden.  

 "I already have, and you'll be joining my army's ranks whether you like it or not Kim Possible!"

 As Drakken yelled back at his arch foe, Hardlight checked his gear and found a spy chip planted on his gauntlet. He held it up and Drakken caught sight of it.

 The other supervillain momentarily stiffened but then straightened himself to his full height and smiled calmly. "Ah, my patented micro-decoder. Impressed?"

 Ian studied the microchip carefully before pocketing for later.

 "Indeed." He said lightly. "In fact, I might just be even more impressed with you now than when I first asked to be your student. I bow to your skill." And for once, Ian genuinely meant it.

 He gave a little bow and Drakken returned it gladly, with a thank you, and that's when the light's cut out.

 The light clones faded away and the three super villains were left standing in the dark facing seven angry heroes.

 "Wha- What happened?" Draken gasped.

 "The sidekicks!" Shego yelled as she lit up her hands and jumped into the fray. "They must have cut the power."

 Drakken collected his wits and sent his vines out to fight off the other supers. "Hardlight! Go take care of our pests!"

 "On it!" and Ian flew away from the battle on his hover-disk.

                                                --------------------

 Tadashi hissed under his breath as the power went out.

 The villains hadn't noticed him in his cloaking suit, and while his friends fought, he had been trying to hijack the controls of Drakken's brainwashing machine.

 Cutting the power was actually the last thing he wanted to do. He had no idea what life support systems the trio of elderly people were on, whether or not they were getting filtered air into those glass tubes, and he didn't know what would happen to their minds if the connection was suddenly severed while still hooked up to the machine.

 He furiously worked to reconnect, whatever it was he had disconnected.

 The lights flickered back on, the machine powered up, and Tadashi breathed a sigh of relief. He then made his way to the main control.

 The Doctor and his minions were busy fighting off the rest of Big Hero Six, even as the hard-light clones came back online to rejoin the fray.

 This finally provided Tadashi with a chance to access the actual computer.

 "Alright, let's figure out this code." he muttered under his breath as he pulled up the readouts.

                                                --------------------

 "There... that should turn off the rest of the maze." Varian said as he pulled out the last of the wires from the breaker box.

 The purple light running down the hallway of the warehouse flickered off.

 "Haha! Booyah! Let's see their fancy tech work without any power!" Ron cheered.

 "Oh, I don't know." A familiar voice called out. "I imagine it'll work very much like this!"

 Hardlight came barreling down the hall towards them. He punched a command in his gauntlet and a fiery pink phoenix manifested itself before him and gave chase after the two heroes and their annoying pets.

 As they ran away, Varian looked over his shoulder to see Hardlight fixing the wires from the breaker box. They had only stalled for time, and Varian could only hope that it was enough time for his friends.

 Then he curiously noticed the villain attaching what looked like a disc to one of the data wires....

 "Woah!" Varian jumped as the light phoenix shot fire at them!

                                                --------------------

 "Wow! You got some pretty nice fighting moves." Fred complimented as he jumped out of the way of Shego's firey hands. "Did you study Kung-fu or Judo---woah!"

 He ducked quickly, as she ignored his question and took another swipe at him.

 "You know, y-you'd probably make a good super hero if you wanted to?"

 "Now why would I want that, when this is so much more fun?"

 She made another dash towards him, only for Kim to knock her down with a flying kick while she was distracted.

 "You're right Shego. This is more fun." She taunted back.

 However both heroes then got tangled up in Dr. Drakken's vines.

 "Here ya go!" Honey Lemon yelled as she threw a chimball at them. A yellow cloud of dust covered them as the sphere busted overhead. Then the vines withered away to nothing.

 Yet, while Honey Lemon took aim at another cluster of vines, trapping Gogo, one of the light clones grabbed her from behind.

 She screamed as the clone of Captain Fancy lifted her off the ground.

 Fortunately she was rescued by Baymax and Hiro. Who tackled the light monster head on, where she then fell to the ground, using her chim-boots to soften her landing with a spongy green gloop.

 And so it went on, around and around, the supers and villains jockeying for the upper hand, never quite being able to stay on top. They were all pretty evenly matched.

 Tadashi tried to ignore the battle and resisted the urge to join in, even as one of the clones punched the ground and sent his friend sprawling on the floor. He shook his head in frustration. He could have probably taken that Drakken dude out with ease in his super suit, but it wouldn't solve the problem of the brainwashed supers attacking them. He had to prioritize freeing them first.

 He picked up a screwdriver and undid the back cover of the main computer. He was almost done....

 He didn't notice Shego recovering from her attack.

 She looked up to see a screwdriver floating in the air...

 "What the...."

                                                --------------------

 "I. Hate. Being. The. Sidekick!" Varian huffed between breaths as he and Ron continued to run away from Hardlight's growing menagerie of light monsters.

 He shooed away some more light bats, and then ducked as the phoenix breathed more fire.

 "Hahahaha! Who's the genius now, Varian?" Hardlight laughed behind them on his hover disc as he punched more codes into his gauntlet.

 "What did you do to make this guy so mad?" Ron called back. He was slightly faster than Varian and ran a few feet ahead of him.

 Suddenly a gigantic purple spider appeared in front of them, blocking their escape. The two boys skidded to a stop.

 "Like the improvements I made to my tech?" Hardlight gloated. "No more need for stationary projectors. My light creations go where I go."

 Varian made a fist as he gripped something tightly in his hand.

 "Yeah, but you're still using Rubidium as your conduit!" Varian flashed the villain a wicked smile of his own. "And what does Rubidium do when it comes in contact with water?"

 Hardlight seemed startled by that question. Ron however was only confused.

 "What does Rubidium do when it comes in contact with water?"

 "This!" Varian shouted and threw the chimball in his hand at the closest light monster before Hardlight could react.

 Suddenly there was a loud bang as the creature started to smoke and shoot sparks! Which only caught the rest of monsters on fire as the flames spread.

 Varian didn't stand around to watch the show. Still holding onto Ruddiger with one arm, he grabbed a frightened Ron with his other hand, and dragged him and Ruffus out of the way and down the hall.

 "What was that !?" Ron yelled at him.

 " That  was a bath bomb! While volatile, however, the chemical reaction won't last long. We need to get out of here, now!"

 And sure enough, there was Hardlight chasing after them again, but this time without his army of artificial monsters.

 Ron, Varian, and the animals, ducked into the first doorway that they could, and found themselves in the middle of a battlefield.

 "KP!" Ron yelled as he saw his girlfriend being tied up by what looked like a blue, translucent copy of the Fearless Ferret. A much younger and more fit looking Fearless Ferret at that.

 He ran to her rescue while Varian took off in the opposite direction to help his brother who was locked into a stranglehold with another of the super copycats. This one looked like a young, buff woman dressed in armor, only also made of blue light.

                                                --------------------

 Tadashi barely noticed Ron and Varian enter the room. Nor did he pay attention to the villain on the hover disc that was chasing them.

 He was close to a breakthrough, even as Wasabi and Gogo battled a ferocious light lion, Honey Lemon, with Baymax's help, fought a man-eating flower, and Varian wrestled with the light clone that had super strength.

 He didn't even see the woman called Shego sneak up behind him with a wrench.

                                                --------------------

 "Thanks Ron." Kim sighed as her boyfriend knocked away the Fearless Ferret copy with a karate chop.

 It did little good, as the light clone only got right back up, unharmed, but it gave time for Ruffus to free her from her bonds.

 The raccoon, Ruddiger, hissed at a creeping vine that made its way towards them.

 She and Ron stood back to back in a defensive position as they waited for the next attack. Each giving the other cover and support as they always had. For years, they had fought together and they moved in practiced sync.

 Her life may be complicated, stressful,  hectic, and just straight up weird sometimes, but Ron… wonderful, dependable, hopeful, Ron, was always there, and it gave her strength.

 She smiled to herself despite the dangers present, but that smile faded away quickly when a resounding      clang    filled the warehouse.

 Nearly everyone stopped to look where the sound had come from, even Drakken.

 Tadashi fizzled into view, his super suit short-circuiting as he fell to the ground. Shego stood poised over him, a wench and her hand and a triumphant smile on her face.

 "Well look what I found!" She proclaimed, as Tadashi sat back up and shook his head. His helmet had protected him, but you could see from the cracked visor that his suit would no longer be of use.

 "Tadashi!" Hiro called out from close by and hopped into Baymax's back.

 Drakken caught the two superheroes mid air with his vines.

 "And where do you think you're going?" He sneered. "You got a date with my neruospace-cabulator, remember."

 "Not if we have anything to say about it!" Gogo yelled, and flung one of her discus at him. He ducked out of the way quickly, but the disc lodged itself into the computer bank. The light clones flickered and became just a little more see through.

 "You little fool!" Drakken spat. "You think that will free your friends? Destroy my machine and you'll fry their brains. We'll both lose then."

 Kim bit her lip to keep herself from hurling an insult at him. It wasn't an empty threat, Drakken was serious.

 Ron decided to challenge back though. "So what, we just keep fighting here till the place comes down around us?"

 "No, you'll keep fighting till my light clones wear you down. They never tire, you however won't last much longer. But I'll concede this is taking a little longer than planned, so let's speed up the time table, shall we?"

 He turned a dial on the computer bank and the light clones started to multiply!

 The supers started to tighten their defensive circle as more and more brainwashed superheroes surrounded them. It was an army, and Drakken wanted them to be its newest volunteers.

[bleachanimefan1]

Dragon Ball Legends Part 28

Piccolo Turned Evil?,

Piccolo and Ocarin arrived at the Kame house to find the Spice boys surrounding Krillin and Gohan, along with their friends who were affected by the mist. Bulma, Yamcha, Roshi, Puar, Oolong and Chichi, all had an evil gleam in their eyes and malicious smirks as they slowly began to inch closer and closer towards Gohan and Krillin. There was another woman with them, with long light blue hair, wearing a tight bathing suit cowering behind Krillin.  Piccolo fired an energy blast in front of the group, stopping them in their tracks. They looked up to see him on the roof. "Piccolo!" Gohan shouted, smiling. Ocarin landed down beside Krillin and Gohan.

"Yes! Piccolo! Ocarin!" Krillin shouted as well. The four henchmen jumped onto the roof as well.

"This will be fun!" One of the spice boys chuckled darkly.

"Fun? You slither out of the darkness, waiting to capitalize on people's weaknesses. And you call that fun?" Piccolo asked, glaring at them.

"Garlic Jr.'s can destroy you anytime, Piccolo! He has Kami held captive; you fool!" Mustard chuckled, evilly.

"Oh, great." Piccolo scowled.

"Admit it, you always had a fascination with the dark side, Piccolo. Why don't you join us and serve Garlic Jr while you still can? He's about to take over the planet." Spice told him. Piccolo scoffed.

"Yeah, right. Don't make me laugh. Come on, how can someone stupid enough to get caught in his own trap take over a planet." 

"Watch your mouth!" Vinegar shouted.

"You're going to wish you've never said that lizard boy!" Salt growled at Piccolo as well.

"Gohan, we're going to have to move in fast!" Krillin told him. Gohan nodded. Krillin's girlfriend, Maron, clinging to him.

"Are you nuts!? You can't leave me here by myself! You're supposed to protect me from danger, Krillin!" She cried out. Ocarin stared at the two before looking at Krillin.

"Who's she?"

"Ocarin, this is Maron. She's my girlfriend. Maron this is Ocarin. She's one of my friends!" Krillin said, introducing them. Ocarin blinked for a moment.

"She's your girlfriend? I'm so sorry." Ocarin told him.

"Oh, it's nothing. Don't worry about it!" Maron smiled at her. 

"I wasn't talking to you!" Ocarin snapped at her. This woman is already getting on her nerves.

"You're lucky that lord Garlic have orders us to take the both of you in alive! I'd finish you off, right now!" Vinegar shouted.

"How did your boss escape the dead zone?" Piccolo questioned them.

"Settle down, Vinegar, he's just trying to get you riled up. I'll answer your question, Piccolo, if you really want to know. The power of the Makyo Star." Spice explained to Piccolo. Piccolo frowned.

"What?" Spice smirked and continued.

"Now I have your attention. Not long ago the Makyo Star's close proximity to Earth provided an incredible source of power to all creatures of the night. This rare alignment of the planets and stars occurs only once every 12,000 years. At no other time is man more susceptible to evil than this. It is a time when the powers of darkness are at their zenith and the unseen lower forces dominate the Earth. Garlic Jr. used the dark energy to shatter his prison." He laughed. "You don't get it, do you? Garlic Jr. is the new guardian of the Earth. He's taken over Kami's Lookout and is sitting quite comfortably on the throne. Kami and Popo are just mantle pieces now, looking on hopelessly from their little glass jars!" Piccolo glared at him, along with Gohan, Krillin and Ocarin. "The pitiful part about it all, is that with the Black Water Mist, we've hardly had to lift a finger. Just look how eager your friends are to help us. We're gods to these plebeians."

"We're like celebrities to all of these people!" Mustard shouted.

"You should join us! You would love it! They worship us and soon they're going to be like that for good!" Salt said.

"What do you mean?" Piccolo asked.

"Once 24 hours passes by the change becomes permanent! Not even the sacred water can change them back!" Spice smirked. 

"You came here looking to fight us, but the battle's already been won. There's no one left to fight for. Nobody want's your help. Can't you understand that? Just look at your friends. Do they really look like they need to be rescued? Who do you think you're fooling? You haven't really changed. So, drop the goody two shoes act and join us or oppose us and suffer like you've never been suffered before, your choice." Piccolo fired an energy blast at one of the spice boys and they quickly deflected it.

"Why you little!-"

"So that's your choice?" Spice asked.

"I've had enough of this jerk!" Gohan shouted.

"We'll see." Piccolo flew up into the air and Yamcha chased after him and started to clash against Piccolo.

"Yamcha, stop it!" Gohan shouted. "Stop fighting!" He quickly flew in front of Piccolo and Yamcha, trying to stop them.

"Piccolo, please! Don't!" Gohan shouted. Piccolo pushed him away.

"Move it!" He quickly fired an energy blast, hitting Yamcha, and he fell landing on the sandy beach.

"Tell me what to do!" Gohan shouted at him.

"Alright, you take off and bring Ocarin with you, now! Got it!?" Piccolo told him. "The whole planet has been infected just like Yamcha and your mom! You need to get the sacred water!" Gohan stared at him unsure, not wanting to leave him alone with the others.

"But what about you-"

"He knows what he's doing, Gohan!" Krillin shouted and flew off, heading to the Lookout.

"Leave! Get the water but be careful. Garlic Jr. is going to be up there guarding it!" Piccolo shouted as he fought against the spice boys as well as the others.

"We'll be back!" Gohan told him.

"You better meet us up there!" Ocarin shouted. Gohan and her flew off, while Piccolo continued to fight with the others to buy them some time to get away. 

"The Yamcha I know would tear you apart." Piccolo smirked. Yamcha lunged at him and Piccolo threw Yamcha over his shoulder. Yamcha flopped on the ground, unconscious. Bulma, Chichi, Roshi, Puar and Oolong began to slowly approach Piccolo. "I'm sorry but you leave me no choice. I'm going to have to exterminate you all. I hate to do this. It's not your fault." Before Piccolo could fire, hands shot up from the ground underneath Piccolo and grabbed his ankles, holding him in place. "What!?" Chichi, Bulma, and Roshi all jumped on him and bit down on Piccolo's neck. Piccolo screamed out in pain.

"Piccolo!" Gohan screamed.

"Oh no!" Ocarin cried out, seeing what happened as well. Gohan was about to fly back to help him, but Piccolo stopped him.

"Gohan, no!" Piccolo shouted. "Do as I say NOW!"

"I won't leave you, Piccolo!" Gohan cried.

"Gohan! Now!" Ocarin flew over to Gohan, grabbing his hand.

"We need to go!" She said, urgently. Gohan stared at Piccolo one last time before turning to Ocarin and nodded.

"Right!" The two quickly flew off and Piccolo was quickly overwhelmed as the infected group pinned him down. The Spice boys smirked as they saw him fall to the ground, unconscious.

Gohan, Krillin and Ocarin quickly flew as they headed to the Lookout.

"Krillin!" Krillin's girlfriend shouted as she flew next to the three, riding on Icarus, Gohan's pet dragon. "Wait up! I'm coming with you!"

"Oh no you're not! Maron, this is serious! You'd be in real danger!" Krillin told her.

"So what? I don't care. I'm still coming!" She argued.

"She's really starting to get on my nerves. Let's just ditch her at Korin and Yajirobe tower. She'll be safer there." Ocarin whispered to Krillin. Krillin nodded. The group finally arrived at the small tower below the Lookout. Gohan, Krillin and Ocarin looked inside to find it surprisingly empty as well as quiet.

"What do you think?" Gohan asked.

"If Korin got a whiff of that mist this is the last place that I wouldn't be." Ocarin said.

"Let's move in slow. Ready?" Krillin said. The three of them slowly stepped inside, quietly. Maron followed behind them, shivering.

"It's so cold and freezing! Can you guys get me-" Krillin quickly slammed his hand on her mouth telling his girlfriend to be quiet. Ocarin leaned over to him, whispering into Krillin's ear.

"Do you want me to knock her out? I'd be glad to. Just say the word."

"No!" Krillin hissed at her.

"There's nobody around! Why are we sneaking around!?" Maron asked. Suddenly, a short chubby man with long black hair, wearing a sleeveless red yukata that reached his knees, a sword was attached to his obi on his left side, black wrist and ankle bands and sandals, walked up the stairs and saw everyone inside the tower. 

"Hey, guys. What's shaking?" Yajirobe said as he waved at them. Then a white cat with a staff came up as well and stood next to Yajirobe.

"What's going on?" Ocarin ran over to them happy to see that they weren't infected by the mist.

"Korin! Yajirobe! You both haven't been infected!"

"It's nice to see you two!" Gohan smiled in relief as well.

"It's nice to see you too but you woken me up from my nap." Korin replied.

"Aw! What a cute little cat!" Maron shouted as she was petting Korin's chin, who was purring and rubbing against her hand. He realized what he was doing and shook his head and pushed Maron away from him.

"That's enough! Who is this girl!?" He demanded.

"Maron..." Krillin smiled sheepishly.

"This is a holy place! Not a beach hang out!" Korin shouted at him.

"Maron is Krillin's new girlfriend." Gohan smiled.

"I don't believe it." Korin replied. Krillin smiled.

"Yes, sir." Korin shook his head.

"No, what I mean is, I don't believe it. Is she really your girlfriend?" Ocarin interrupted him.

"Listen, we don't have time for this! I'll just give you the short summary. Kami and Mr. Popo been captured. Garlic's Jr's back and he's released the Black Water Mist! We need to get to the sacred water before it's too late!" She cried out.

"Yowza! That's a lot! That's not going to be easy. Garlic Jr's not stupid. He'll be watching like a hawk. It's vital that you get there. Time is at the absolute essence of this endeavor-Hey, you're leaving already!?" He shouted at Ocarin, Krillin, and Gohan who were flying away heading up to the Lookout.

"Time is at the essence, Korin!" Gohan shouted.

"Look after Maron, will ya!?" Krillin shouted. 

"Krillin! Get back here!" Maron screamed at him.

"This isn't fair! You guys can't do this to me!" Korin shouted at them as well. But they had already left.

Krillin, Gohan and Ocarin finally reached the top of the Lookout and peered over the edge.

"Look at how trashed this place is. Mr. Popo would have a heart attack if he saw this." Krillin said.

"I think he would have a stroke." Ocarin replied. They quietly walked further, still seeing no one around.

"It's creepy, isn't it?" Gohan asked.

"It's too quiet." Ocarin said, worried as well. Krillin nodded as well as Gohan.

"Yeah."

Then the three heard an evil cackle and Garlic Jr. stepped out from the building, standing in front of them.

"So, you don't like the new decor, eh? Well, what do you prefer, you little do good punks!" Garlic Jr. smirked as them. "You want the sacred water? Well, come and get it."

"Let's get him!" Gohan shouted.

"I've been waiting for you to say that!" Ocarin smiled and the three charged at Garlic Jr. But something lashed out from inside the building and flew at Ocarin and Gohan, knocking them back. Ocarin's eyes widened to see that it was Piccolo. He smirked and started to laugh darkly as he stared back at the three. He had an evil glare in his eyes like the infected.

"Piccolo, what are you doing?" She murmured, confused.

"Piccolo?" Gohan questioned as well. Krillin flew in the air, seeing Piccolo's strange behavior as well.

"Gohan! Ocarin! He's not normal. He's been infected by the mist!" Krillin warned them.

"Piccolo!" Ocarin shouted at him. Piccolo was about to charge at her but one of the spice boys held him back. Piccolo growled and struggled as he tried to break free.

"What took you three so long?" Garlic Jr. smirked, looking at Gohan, Ocarin and Krillin.

"We've been waiting for you! And so has he!" Vinegar smirked as well.

"What did you do to him!?" Gohan demanded.

"Your little friends took a bite out of him. If anyone who's been infected with the Black Water Mist bites someone, they turn into one of them!" Vinegar laughed.

"What do you think of Piccolo, now? He's all set to join Garlic Jr. He's one of us, kid, just like your mother is." Spice said. Gohan glared at him, clenching his fists.

"So, the Son of Goku has arrived. Gohan, isn't it? Listen here, my friend. I hope you don't mind; I have a question for you. I want to know where your father is." Garlic Jr. asked Gohan. 

"My father?" 

"Precisely. I must plan in order to carry out my revenge. Once that is accomplished then both you and he will pay double for your failed attempt to defeat me!"

"No!" Gohan shouted.

"Even though now I rule the Earth, that isn't good enough until I exact my revenge upon you two! Where is your father hiding?" Garlic Jr. asked again.

"My father would never hide from the likes of you and besides where he is, he doesn't even know your evil kind exist!" Gohan shouted.

"Where he is? What do you mean by that?" Garlic Jr. frowned.

"I'll never tell!" Gohan spatted out at him.

"Have it your way. Once Goku realizes that your here, it's only a matter of time before he shows up."

"I'm going to finish you off once and for all!" Ocarin shouted. She quickly rushed at Garlic Jr. Garlic Jr. smirked and pulled Kami out from under his robes.

"Ah ah ah, I wouldn't do that. Not unless you want to hurt Kami as well." Garlic Jr. smirked. Ocarin gritted her teeth and stopped instantly in her tracks. One of the spice boys quickly appeared in front of her and smacked Ocarin back to Gohan and Krillin. Salt and Mustard started to clash against Gohan and Krillin, bashing them around like a rag doll.

"Gohan! Krillin!" Ocarin shouted at them in worry.

"Can we play with them now!?" Vinegar shouted excitedly.

"Just a second." Garlic Jr. said to him and Spice. "You both may make sport of them until Goku shows up. However, the coup de gras is all mine so be careful not to go too far with them." Ocarin quickly went over to Krillin helping him with his opponent. She quickly blasted him with an energy blast followed by several more blasts and knocked him off the Lookout. Then she saw Gohan was struggling with his opponent and quickly turned to Krillin. "Rest up for a minute! I'm going to help Gohan!" Krillin made a tired smile, nodding, and Ocarin quickly went over to help Gohan. Garlic Jr. glared at her as he clenched Kami's bottle underneath his robes, gritting his teeth. He nodded to one of his henchmen that was holding Piccolo. They smirked and released him and Piccolo quickly charged at Ocarin and Gohan.

"Isn't this wonderful, Kami? I've always believed that revenge would be so sweet." Garlic Jr. smirked, glancing down at Kami who glared back. Ocarin was quickly punched in the face and was knocked away from Gohan.

"Piccolo?" Gohan stared up at him in shock. Garlic Jr. smirked.

"Yes, my pet! Destroy him! Then the entire universe will be under my command!" Ocarin quickly flew over to Gohan, just before Piccolo smacked him away. She caught Gohan in her arms and Piccolo was now coming for her. Ocarin quickly tossed Gohan and deflected one of his fists. Piccolo smirked and kneed her in the chest. Ocarin doubled over in pain, coughing. Piccolo pinned Ocarin as he wrapped his arms around her and she struggled to break free. He started to hold on tighter.

"Ocarin, listen me! I'm sorry for getting a little rough with you. But I need to be convincing to get closer to Garlic Jr. Play along." Ocarin's eyes widened in shock when she heard Piccolo's voice in her mind.

"What are you-!" Ocarin screamed as Piccolo bit down hard, burying his fangs deep into her neck.

"Oh no!" Krillin cried out. Garlic Jr. let out an evil laugh and he pulled Kami out to show him what was happening. "Kami, I have a surprise for you. I wouldn't want you to miss the moment Ocarin becomes part of my family." Kami's eyes widened in horror seeing his counterpart bite Ocarin. Ocarin limply fell to the ground and Piccolo started to fight against Gohan and Krillin. 

"Piccolo, stop!" Gohan pleaded. Piccolo ignored him and started to beat him around as well as Krillin. Then he knocked Krillin away from Gohan, separating the two. Krillin got up only to see Ocarin staring down at him with a twisted smirk on her face. Gohan saw her grab Krillin and bit into his neck as well.

"Krillin, no!" He cried out. Piccolo slammed Gohan down and he crashed through the ground, landing inside of the Lookout into Garlic Jr. throne room. Gohan groaned as he weakly sat up and saw Piccolo, Krillin and Ocarin smirking down at him evilly and they slowly started to inch closer.

"Krillin, Ocarin, stop." Gohan said weakly. Piccolo picked Gohan up by his gi and raised his hand getting ready to use his claws to finish him off. But Garlic Jr. grabbed his hand, stopping Piccolo.

"Wait, I think I will finish him off after all." Garlic Jr. said, smirking down at Gohan.

"Oh, the pleasure's all yours." Piccolo smirked. Garlic Jr.'s eyes widen in confusion and Piccolo quickly reached in the tiny alien's robes and pulled out the bottles imprisoning Kami and Mr. Popo. He pushed Garlic Jr. away and tossed the bottles over to Ocarin. "Ocarin, catch!"

Ocarin quickly jumped up and caught Kami and Mr. Popo and popped open the bottles. Smoke emerged from the bottles and Ocarin tossed them into the air, freeing the guardian and genie. 

"You'll pay for that!" Garlic Jr. growled, furiously.

"I don't think that's going to happen, Garlic breath." Piccolo said. He squeezed the bite marks on his neck getting some of the black water mist out and the holes slowly began to regenerate healing on its own until they disappeared.

"That was one heck of a plan, Piccolo. But Gohan here is pretty messed up." Krillin told Piccolo, holding Gohan in his arms, who was unconscious.

"He's fine, don't worry. Gohan can stand a lot worse than this." Piccolo told him.

"This isn't over yet! Mark my words!" Garlic Jr. shouted, angrily, glaring at the group.

"Looks like it's pretty over to me." Ocarin smirked.

[waterlight]

Sun signs as poems

Aries

Life is a hospital where every patient is obsessed by the desire of changing beds. One would like to suffer opposite the stove, another is sure he would get well beside the window. It always seems to me that I should be happy anywhere but where I am, and this question of moving is one that I am eternally discussing with my soul. "Tell my, my soul, poor chilly soul, how would you like to live in Lisbon? It must be warm there, and you would be as blissful as a lizard in the sun. It is a city by the sea; they say that it is built of marble, and that its inhabitants have such a horror of the vegetable kingdom that they tear up all the trees. You see it is a country after my own heart; a country entirely made of mineral and light, and with liquid to reflect them." My soul does not reply. "Since you are so fond of being motionless and watching the pageantry of movement, would you like to live in the beatific land of Holland? Perhaps you could enjoy yourself in that country which you have so long admired in paintings on museum walls. What do you say to Rotterdam, you who love forests of masts, and ships that are moored on the doorsteps of houses?" My soul remains silent. "Perhaps you would like Batavia better? There, moreover, we should find the wit of Europe wedded to the beauty of the tropics." Not a word. Can my soul be dead? "Have you sunk into so deep a stupor that you are happy only in your unhappiness? If that is the case, let us fly to countries that are the counterfeits of Death. I know just the place for us, poor soul. We will pack up our trunks for Torneo. We will go still farther, to the farthest end of the Baltic Sea; still farther from life if possible; we will settle at the Pole. There the sun only obliquely grazes the earth, and the slow alternations of daylight and night abolish variety and increase that other half of nothingness, monotony. There we can take deep baths of darkness, while sometimes for our entertainment, the Aurora Borealis will shoot up its rose-red sheafs like the reflections of the fireworks of hell!" At last my soul explodes! "Anywhere! Just so it is out of the world!"

- Anywhere out of the world, Charles Baudelaire (Aries Sun in the 8th house)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Taurus

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer’s lease hath all too short a date: Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimm’d; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm’d; But thy eternal summer shall not fade Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest; Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou growest: So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

- Sonnet 18, William Shakespeare (Taurus Sun in the 11th house)

─���─ ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Gemini

In the green morning I wanted to be a heart. a heart. And in the ripe evening I wanted to be a nightingale. A nightingale. (Soul,turn oranged colored. Soul, turn the color of love.) In the vivid morning I wanted to be myself. A heart. And at the evenings end I wanted to be my voice A nightingale. Soul, turn orange colored. Soul, turn the color of love.

- Ditty of First Desire, Federico García Lorca (Gemini Sun in the 3rd house)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Cancer

Don't go far off, not even for a day, because -- because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep. Don't leave me, even for an hour, because then the little drops of anguish will all run together, the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift into me, choking my lost heart. Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach; may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance. Don't leave me for a second, my dearest, because in that moment you'll have gone so far I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking, Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

- Don't go far off, Pablo Neruda (Cancer Sun in the 5th house)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Leo

Her voice is like clear water That drips upon a stone In forests far and silent Where Quiet plays alone. Her thoughts are like the lotus Abloom by sacred streams Beneath the temple arches Where Quiet sits and dreams. Her kisses are the roses That glow while dusk is deep In Persian garden closes Where Quiet falls asleep.

-A fantasy, Sara Teasdale (Leo Sun)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Virgo

A violet in the meadow grew, Bowed to earth, and hid from view: It was a dear sweet violet. Along came a young shepherdess Free of heart, and light of step, Came by, came by, Singing, through the flowers. Oh! Thought the violet, were I, If only for a little while, Nature’s sweetest flower yet, Till my Beloved picked me, pressed Me fainting, dying to her breast! So I might lie, There, for but an hour! Alas! Alas! The girl went past: Unseen the violet in the grass, Was crushed, poor violet. It drooped and died, and yet it cried: ‘And though I die, yet still I die By her, by her, By her feet passing by.’

- The Violet, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (Virgo Sun in the 9th house)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Libra

In the winter, we shall travel in a little pink railway carriage With blue cushions. We shall be comfortable. A nest of mad kisses lies in wait In each soft corner. You will close your eyes, so as not to see, through the glass, The evening shadows pulling faces. Those snarling monsters, a population Of black devils and black wolves. Then you'll feel your cheek scratched... A little kiss, like a crazy spider, Will run round your neck... And you'll say to me : "Find it !" bending your head - And we'll take a long time to find that creature - Which travels a lot...

- A dream for Winter, Arthur Rimbaud (Libra Sun in the 1st house)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Scorpio

O Candle! Why does the moth love you? Why is this restless soul devoted to you? Your charm keeps it restless like mercury Did you teach it the etiquette of Love? It circumambulates the site of your manifestation Is it inspired with the fire of your lightning? Do the woes of death give it the peace of life? Does your flame possess the quality of eternal life? If you do not brighten this sorrowful world This burning heart's tree of Longing may not green up Falling before you is the prayer of this little heart The taste for impassioned Love knows this little heart It has some zeal of the Primeval Beauty's Lover You are a small ñër , it is a small Kalam The moth and the taste for the Sight of the Light! This small insect and the Longing for the Light!

-The candle and the moth, Muhammad Iqbal (Scorpio Sun in the 2nd house)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Sagittarius

Come to me in the silence of the night; Come in the speaking silence of a dream; Come with soft rounded cheeks and eyes as bright As sunlight on a stream; Come back in tears, O memory, hope, love of finished years. O dream how sweet, too sweet, too bitter sweet, Whose wakening should have been in Paradise, Where souls brimfull of love abide and meet; Where thirsting longing eyes Watch the slow door That opening, letting in, lets out no more. Yet come to me in dreams, that I may live My very life again though cold in death: Come back to me in dreams, that I may give Pulse for pulse, breath for breath: Speak low, lean low As long ago, my love, how long ago.

-Echo, Christina Rossetti (Sagittarius Sun in the 2nd house)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Capricorn

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself But if your love and must needs have desires, Let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook That sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart And give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer For the beloved in your heart And a song of praise upon your lips.

-Let these be your desires, Kahlil Gibran (Capricorn Sun in the 2nd house)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Aquarius

The time will come when, with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other's welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life.

-Love After Love, Derek Walcott (Aquarius Sun)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Pisces

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

- Sonnet XLIII: How Do I Love Thee?, Elizabeth Barrett Browning (Pisces Sun in the 6th house)

[damienthepious]

OOPS i almost forgot to make a tumblr post for the weekly fic OOPS

makes them kind

[ao3]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Rilla, Sir Damien, Lord Arum

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Established Relationship, Overworking, Conversations, taking care of each other, Day Off, accidental self-care, very gentle argument, Kindness

Summary: The three of them need a break.

Notes: I did the emotional equivalent of dipping my brain in acid today so i desperately needed something soft. Which means, you all get something soft! Have something soft. (as if that isn't my brand ANYWAY.) I do not intend to edit this thoroughly, but that's fine because eighty percent of it was written last year while i was on vacation. Title from the song Sun, by Sleeping At Last.

~

"Alright. That is quite enough."

Arum reaches on one side to press Amaryllis' book closed, and on the other to pluck the quill from Sir Damien's hand in one symmetrical, inarguable motion.

Of course, contrary creatures that Arum's humans are, they argue anyway.

"I beg your pardon," Damien yelps, and at the same moment Amaryllis gives a wordless indignant gasp, tearing her book back away from Arum's hands.

"We," Arum says, "are taking a break."

"Don't mess with my materials when I'm in the middle of research, Arum! I was- fuck, I was putting something together, I was this close to cracking-"

"To cracking? Perhaps," Arum says dryly. "I have been attempting to claw back the both of your attentions for approximately forty minutes now, and have received nothing for my efforts beyond uncomprehending mumblings and dispassionate dismissals."

"We haven't been ignoring you, my lily, we would never."

"I told you I was converting to your damned Saints' religion and you said, and I quote, Hm, yes, well, of course that sounds lovely." He turns towards Rilla, then, matching her scowl with a more mellow frown.

"I absolutely was ignoring you," she says sourly, and Arum exhales a sigh to cover a laugh.

"I know," he says. "Because you failed entirely to respond when I told you that you were right and I was wrong. It does not matter what about, I know that faced with such a statement you should have started gloating."

Amaryllis' scowl deepens, fury in her eyes sparking bright for a long moment as she holds her gaze against Arum's much calmer one, and then she breaks. It starts as a twitch of the nose, a curl of her lip, and then she fully snorts and dissolves into laughter, shaking her head.

Damien's expression softens in response, that gentle loving light catching in his tawny eyes as he watches Amaryllis laugh. Arum feels quite the same, in honesty, but he manages to keep his expression nonplussed until the doctor controls her breathing again. She gives a sigh, reluctant, and then tosses her book a little further down the table with a thwump, rolling her eyes as she turns her body more fully towards Arum.

"Okay," she says, indulgent enough to make his frill twitch as she leans to draw her fingertips along the scales on the back of his hand, "have we not been paying our greedy monster enough attention, then?"

"Don't-" Arum snaps his teeth together to circumvent a retort, and instead pivots. "The both of you have been single-minded and irritable and distant and unhappy for days, now. I understand your devotion to your relative crafts, but you are being foolish to treat yourselves so irresponsibly, to disregard your physical and emotional limits out of pure stubbornness despite the fact that-" he pauses, and then he closes his eyes. "I'm- worried. About- about the both of you," he breathes, as quickly as he can manage the words.

There is a pause into which Arum growls absently, and then Damien takes another of Arum's hands in his own and his eyes flutter back open despite himself. The poet's face is soft, now, and he lifts Arum's hand to his lips, humming a kiss against Arum's scaled knuckles.

"Oh, dear heart-"

"You hypocrite," Amaryllis says, her tone unmistakably fond, and she leans even closer to press a light kiss to Arum's cheek.

Arum huffs in response, pretending not to notice as his frill flares with pleased surprise at their combined attentions.

"It is- it is true that I do not possess much experience from which to draw comparison," he mutters, "when it comes to- to not overworking oneself. But- but I know, at least, when you are unhappy, and- and I decided that I would prefer to do something about it."

"And..." Amaryllis catches Damien's eye for a moment, then looks back towards Arum again. "What exactly... are you planning to do about it?"

"I told you." Arum huffs again, his frill twitching at his neck in exasperation. "We are taking a break. All of us. Some- some intentional laziness, some fresh air, some food, no obligations."

"You- wanna play hooky with us?" Amaryllis asks with an eyebrow raised.

Amaryllis must be fully aware that Arum has no idea what that means, but Arum refuses to stoop to acknowledge that fact.

"I want you to relax," he clarifies instead, "and I want to- to help. There is a spot in the swamp- high enough ground to be dry, shaded from the worst of the sun, quiet and-"

"Shh," Amaryllis says, pressing a finger suddenly to the tip of Arum's snout, startling him to quiet. "This is exciting, don't tell me anything else, I want to be surprised!"

Arum blinks, and then he murmurs against Amaryllis' finger, "You'll come, then? I don't need to- you'll come?"

"Of course we'll come, my lily," Damien says, his expression aching and strangely shy, and he clutches one of Arum's hands in his own, cradled against his chest. "You've been more than convincing, so far as I am concerned. I am terribly sorry that we have worried you so, and... well... it would be rather wonderful, to relax for an afternoon, together with my loves."

Arum sags, his shoulders sinking with relief that this will not need become a fight for the simple sake of getting the humans to rest, and Amaryllis shifts her hand to caress his cheek.

"G-good," he says, more uncertain now that his arguments (so carefully cultivated) are no longer needed. "Excellent. Good."

Her fingers draw down his jaw in a distracting arc, the warmth of her form pressing against his side as she laughs under her breath at his lack of eloquence. She shifts away, then, enough to roll to her feet and then reach to pull him up after her, with Damien taking a hand on his other side as well.

"I'll just grab-"

"No books," Arum interrupts with a growl. "No research!"

Amaryllis cackles as she waves him off. "My sketchbook, just for fun! Just fun. I'm on board with the plan, Arum, you don't have to worry."

"For once," the monster mutters, and then he turns towards Damien instead as the doctor darts to fetch her charcoals.

"I'm... glad," Damien says in a muted voice, smiling in a gentle sort of way. Arum blinks, waiting for the rest, but Damien only twists his hands together in front of himself for a long moment before Arum's curious expression presses him to continue. "I know... I know that each of us... not a one of us is particularly adept at recognizing our own limits, or avoiding overwork, or acknowledging that we deserve rest or care or..."

"Honeysuckle," Arum says, reaching to touch Damien's cheek as the poet summons another rueful smile.

"I'm simply glad that we... that we might become better able to care for ourselves, in our determination to provide such kindness and care for each other."

It sounds like the seed of a poem, in Damien's voice: the idea of intentional care with collateral kindness as a consequence. Arum cannot help his own smile, and instead of answering he leans closer, nuzzling a kiss to Damien's jaw.

Amaryllis collides with them a moment later, slipping between their bodies and taking a hand from each of them with a wide grin and a satchel swinging at her hip. "Okay! I'm ready," she crows, her enthusiasm infectious enough that Damien grins in tandem. "Shall we?"

Lord Arum loves them, and loves them, and loves them. Enough to be gentler with his own self, for their sakes, if it helps them be gentler to themselves, as well.

He nods, unable to contain his own smile. "Keep. The overlook I pointed out this morning, if you would."

The Keep assents, delight in its voice as the portal pours sunlight through.

The rest of it- the whole of the world can wait. The three of them will be far too busy, this afternoon, doing precisely nothing at all, and doing it together.

[ebotts-ambassador]

What can monsters bring into society? Do they have ressources to trade? Skilled labourers? Genius minds? Advanced technology? Awesome magic?

There's no image as you hear Frisk speak. Just a black screen. "Well, of course Monsters have things to offer- they're people with their own unique culture and perspective on the world. that honestly should be enouhg; that as people, with a soul and thoughts and feelings gives them intrinsic value. But, part of monster culture is kindness and generosity, in my experience so... there are a few things to offer, and a scientific marvel to display it today."

another voice joins in, deeper and more dramatic. "Is that my cue, Frisk?"

"Yes, how about you introduce yourself?"

And with that, your screen comes to life as lights turn on, showcasing a catwalk with a curtain behind it. Frisk is stood infront of the catwalk, smiling to the camera. On the catwalk out rolls a rectangular robot on a singular wheel, who poses to teh camera. "Hello Darlings, the moment' you've unknowingly been awaiting has arrived! I am the fabulous Robot with a Soul, Mettaton, and soon to be the monster of your dreams. I'm the Star of the underground, and soon, I'll be the star of your hearts too!" Frisk is smiling with a bit of amusement. this Robot is definitely the one speaking, however, the screen making a bright red star. "To answer your question, You'll be getting Me in your society, which is honestly a perk in and of itself."

"Mettaton..." Frisk calls out, a call of caution and humor.

"Oh yes, i suppose for the haters I may just not be enough, so let me introduce you to the wonderful mind who constructed me! not to mention, You're not even seeing my best just yet; I'll save that for my debut performance. just know this Box isn't all there is to see of me! The one who makes that statement possible is none of than Dr. Alphys!" entering stage left Is a stoutly yellow lizard wearing glasses.

She gives a small wave before standing to the side of the catwalk,s lightly infront of it. her claws weave together, she's fidgeting, but smiling.

"So there ticks off two boxes, a genius mind and advanced technology! and if that's not enough, we even have something else to show you beautiful people today!" Mettaton snaps some fingers, and in come two mini Mettatons carrying a covered tray, as Frisk hops up onto the catwalk and sits off the edge, pink highheel boots kicking lightly.

"Again, Monsters are caring and giving types, for the most part, and with that, we want to share culture. and what's more integral to cultures than food?" Frisk cut in, beaming at the camera. We have some examples of some more unique items here!"

With that cue, the mini MTTs open up the tray, showing the food off to the camera. Mettaton takes over, heart display as he adds warmth to his tone. "Now, i was talked out of showcasing the staple item of my resort, the steak of my face, but a key item of my facilities is on display here. firstly, we have the cinnabun, from snowdin, the crab apple of Gerson's store front, a Spider Donut from Muffet and the Spider clan's regular bakesale,"

"I've heard rumor Muffet wants to start a proper bakery once everyone is settled in! it won't be the place for anyone with arachnaphobia, but the aesthetic is gothic cute, and her sweets are much more affordable now that it's not an important fundraiser!" Frisk interjects there, somewhat stealing the show as they gesture to the platter.

Mettaton takes it in stride, hands clapping together as they resume, interruption not a problem. "For something with a bite to it, there's the glamburger, courtesy of MTT (tm) Resort kitchens. a juicy delectable burger, made with the pink sparkly touch of the MTT Brand!" he pauses there, that seeming to be an end of a rehearsed line.

Frisk picks the talk back up, voice enthusiastic. "And then, a slice of Cinnamon ButterScotch Pie, Queen Toriels' personal recipe. it's the best sweet i know of; even some chocoholics in my life call it the best! it's rich, sweet, and cinnamon y, and the best part about all these items? they're low calorie! Healthy too; all the great taste with no substitutions, and no worries."

Finally, Alphys speaks up, this clearly being something mildly rehearsed, though her voice wavers in a way Mettaton and Frisk's doesn't. "N-Now, I understand that, apparently this sort of speech sounds scammy, or-or-or unbelievable. Frisk uh, told us about...diet culture? And things like that about Humans and food and uh, how it differs for you than it does us! See, uh, Humans being made of... 90% physical matter eat physical items. Monster Food is more like... edible magical energy, for most of it. See, for us, it's just... food, though particularly powerful or skilled chefs can make it into something more, such as the Queen. Or uh, right. Aside from it working as sustenance for humans, Frisk has mentioned that is has a healing affect for injuries when eaten too? so we definitely plan on making sure monster candies are available for all first aid kits, for some quick small heals for scrapes and burns and such. but yeah, for most monsters, it's just food, though talented ones like the Queen's Cooking can uh, even heal monsters and... Geeze, I'm... not explaining this well, am I?" her shy smile falters as her face turns orange and pink, Alphys adjusting her glasses anxiously.

"It's alright- you've got this!" Frisk encourages.

"R-Right! alright, so essentially, monster food has to be able to fuel the magical energy that composes a monster's being, thus it's mostly healing magic in composition! now healing magic for monsters has to be really potent to have any affect other then energy, or in food's case, sustenance. For humans though, it's seemingly very effective! Not for like, illnesses, but physical or magical harm, such as the aforementioned scrapes or burns and such. wounds." with a bit of encouragement, Alphys is beginning to really get into it! still some stammering, but there's a bit more strength and confidence in her voice. "without there being much physicality to our food, there's literally little to none of the substances needed for there to be calories."

"That being said," Frisk cuts in with a practiced ease, and Alphys gives a silent sigh of relief, "currently, it wouldn't be recommended to eat only monster food. Sure, we have evidence that it alone can be survived on, but there's been no study for if there are any ill effects from a monster food only diet, as the cases had currently were without alternative option. All the same, one meal a day, and/or all snacks and desserts can absolutely safely be monsterfood!"