#i sort of...forgot hehe

[sekiromi]

A Devil You Do, ch. 4

pairing(s): Raphael x Tav/Reader, Astarion x Tav/Reader themes: reincarnation, soul bond, past lives, lost memories, pining, slow burn cw/tw: canon-typical violence, gore word count: 4.2k previous chapters: [1] [2] [3] [read this fic in all its glory on ao3!]

Chapter Four: The Last Light

You, ever the light against which the darkness breaks.

Darkness.

That is all that lingered in these lands. An eternal twilight, a chilling void, all forms stripped of life and sentenced to roam the shadows.

It drained you, permeated your armour, your clothes, your very skin, and seemed to wrap itself around your heart in twisting tendrils, gripping tightly.

Within the claws of the curse, there was no light to guide you. Neither Lathander nor Selûne could hope to penetrate this oppressive gloom, the only gleam keeping the shadows at bay being that of the torch that Halsin held up high in front, and that of your own unwavering resolve.

And nothing, where I now arrive, is shining.

“Stay close, and do not wander from the light.” He warned, casting a glance over his shoulder to the rest of your travelling companions. From beside him, you spared a moment to gaze at them too, noting their worried countenances, lacklustre cheeks and enervated steps. Even Astarion, who by all means should have felt more at home in this deep dusk than any of you, seemed unsettled, and that worried you more than anything else thus far.

Halsin had warned you that the Shadow-Cursed Lands would be like this; devoid of all tenderness and life, dreary and dilapidated, completely depressing and bearing down on you in increasing weight with every step, like wading through mud. Even the stars could not shine here, bequeath their hope and promise of divine assurance unto you, leaving you feeling more lost than ever.

One thing you had not fully anticipated was the cold.

It ate into the marrow of your soul, infected it with a numbness reminiscent of a slow death, and stole your voice away. Your breath condensed in trembling clouds in front of you as you pushed onwards, desperately searching for the strength to press forth and vanquish the shadows lurking around every corner. They kept coming, unrelenting, deterred only by the meek glow of your torches and divine spells, yet you did not falter.

Still, it was a relief when the Harpers led you to the sanctuary that was the Last Light Inn. A glowing sphere of promise broke the wave of darkness that fell against it, protecting the souls within, providing a welcome opportunity to rest and recuperate.

As you lingered within the Moonmaiden’s protection, refamiliarizing yourself with faces first encountered back at the Emerald Grove, your strength slowly started to return to you, arriving like droplets from a leaking tap in meagre, steady beats.

Nobody here was happy, you noted, but at least they were alive. Mostly.

Rolan’s recounting of events dealt you a significant blow, however, hearing how the tieflings you had fought so desperately to protect were struck on the road suddenly, caught off-guard and largely defenceless. How some fell in valiant but condemned combat, how others were taken, whisked away to Moonrise Towers to suffer Gods know what fate, including his own brother and sister. How the rest came to be here at the inn, with nowhere else in the world to go. Desperate and desolate, seeking refuge once again, indebted entirely to strangers. It saddened you beyond measure, wearied your spirit, and had you cursing at your apparent inability to do anything right.

In your journey so far, despite your most heroic of efforts you had left behind little but death and devastation, it seemed.

And so, feeling thoroughly hollow and all but powerless, looking less than your best self, you came across the damned devil again.

“Your move, Mol.” He graced you with a brief glance, attention otherwise entirely enraptured by the game of lanceboard set up between himself and the young tiefling. You gritted your teeth, muscles tensing in irritation at this unlikely coupling. Mol was a free spirit, this much you knew, but you did not think she was so brazen as to commune with the infernal. You felt an instinctive urge to keep her out of Raphael’s claws, though you sensed there was only so much you could hope to say to dissuade her from whatever path she had started paving for herself.

“You trapped me. I didn’t even wanna take this one.” Mol sulked, eyes raking over the board, desperately searching for an escape route.

“Calimshan rules, dear. The first piece touched, is the first piece moved.” Gods his voice was like melted silver.

“That’s garbage! No matter where the knight goes, I’m gonna lose it!” You suppressed an amused smile at her rising frustrations.

“Then make the sacrifice useful.” Raphael’s voice was suddenly stern, lecturing. “Guard your Mystra, or come for my Cyric.” He leant back in his seat relaxedly, allowing Mol the space to further peruse the pieces with her uncovered eye. She examined them at length, discerning nothing, before noticing you all of a sudden.

“Look who made it!” She exclaimed with a smile. “For once I saved your butt out there, didn’t I? We’re square now, chief.” She was referring to your rather unsavoury introduction to Jaheira, a drama you could have easily done without after having just laboriously saved some of her Harpers from the clutches of the Shadow-Cursed.

“Sure thing, Mol.” You responded with your own smile, slipping a side-eye Raphael’s way, unnerved to notice his eyes were already fixed steadily on you.

“Say, do you play lanceboard by any chance? It’s my first time playing.” You did not fail to notice the way her visible eye gleamed in dishonesty. She knew the game, very well in fact, and wanted nothing else other than to win – no matter the means. Considering her opponent, you did not do her the disservice of revealing her blatant lie, and instead casted your eye over the board.

With careful attention, you examined her position, noted down her possible moves, tried to predict Raphael’s responses, narrowing your eyes when you found the blunder. You gave Raphael a suspicious look, unsure whether he had left the opening on purpose to entice the young tiefling, or whether his lanceboard abilities were simply not all that great. Considering the devil was probably about two centuries old at this point, and had undoubtedly played many games of lanceboard against much greater opponents, you guessed it was the former.

Still, you could not help yourself but to bequeath Mol the victory, just to show off a hint of your own knowledge, if nothing else.

“Put some pressure on him. Attack the pieces in front of his king.” You offered, and smiled when she claimed his pawn with her knight.

“My, the Theskan Double Counter-Gambit. Vicious! Exactly what I would have done.” He did not seem perturbed, adding weight to your theory, and disappointment in your chest. Mol quickly proceeded, the moves now revealing themselves before her.

“How’s that for Calimsham rules?”

“Brava! Lovely work. I see I was right to make you the offer I did.” If Raphael’s unfiltered flattery at every passing soul persisted, you thought you might have to consider getting surgery to fix your eyeballs in place, lest you lose them in the back of your head from all the rolling they were doing. “You will consider it, won’t you?” Full of charm, as usual, Mol said nothing. Merely hopped off her seat, and headed towards the others gathered near the bar. With the game now concluded, Raphael stood to face you.

“What a lovely specimen she is. A blushing apple, begging to be plucked.” You felt your face contort into an expression that resembled disgust. What an odd thing to say, you thought.

“Please let me smack this creep.” Karlach mumbled in your ear, echoing your sentiments, and you were half-tempted to let her.

“The Theskan move suggestion was inspired. I had no idea you played.” There was that predictable flattery again. You tried not to let it affect you, honestly, you really did, but you could not help the small, tiny ripple of pride that sprung forth.

“There’s plenty about me you have no idea about.” You responded with a small shrug and a half-smile.

“Don’t I, indeed…” You did not like the way he said that.

“Just stay away from Mol, Raphael.” You meant it to sound more like a warning, something akin to a threat, a statement that she was under your protection (whether she liked it or not). However, it came out as more of a plea, your voice faltering in its gravity.

“Don’t you worry your precious little tadpoled head about Mol – it goes without saying she still has the unconditional freedom to choose the only option she has left. Besides, she won, she has a taste for it now. She’ll be the one who comes to me.” Behind his words was a tease, an implicit understanding that this was your doing. You had given her the tools to taste victory, and thereby bestowed her with a now insatiable appetite for it. You tried not to let it seem like it bothered you, although you sensed it was already too late for that. “But enough about my lesser pursuits. Why bother with trifles when I’m in the illustrious presence of my very favourite client!” He took a low bow, and you had to wonder how many other ‘favourite clients’ he had used that line on before, tried to ignore how easily it was working on you. “Tell me, O apple of my eye, how have you been? You don’t have any gills to get green around yet, but you do look a little worse for wear in this light.” You frowned at that, only slightly offended. Sure, you felt more run down than ever, had not slept soundly for the last few days, and probably looked like you had been dragged through a hedge backwards, but he did not have to say it.

“You know, I’ve never been better.” You lied with a deadpan expression, suddenly void of all patience with him.

“Splendid! And yet…I have this picture in my head, of you tossing and turning in the middle of the night, thinking strange things, dreaming strange dreams. And there’s this little voice inside of you asking: ‘Is this my will, or is it the worm’s?’ But you have no answer, and no way of knowing. The good thing is, though, there’s only one little voice you really should listen to: mine.” Raphael’s usually devilish grin wavered for a moment upon perceiving the fiendish smile adorning your delightful lips, confused as to what could possibly have brought that on. He was trying to dig at you, get under your skin and be the thorn in your side, and he thought he had been succeeding, but it seemed something had slipped past and accidentally entertained you. Raphael’s countenance fell into one of suspicion and annoyance. “What’s so funny, mouse?” Your smile only grew wider as you stifled a laugh.

“Oh, you said a lot of words. But all I heard was that you have these daydreams of me ‘tossing and turning’ in the night.” You mimicked his flirtatious tone and theatrical gesticulations, smirk positively enraging, if not a little bit tempting. Raphael felt his own lips stretch into an amused grin, against his better judgement. He brought his hand to his chin, shaking his head slowly in feigned disapproval.

“Bad girl.”

In that moment, he would have liked it to just be the two of you, your companions be damned, just so you would reciprocate a bit more of this forbidden back and forth with him, enlighten him a little with your undoubtedly sharp tongue. Up until now, you had been far too concerned with what your friends thought of you and the decisions you made to really allow yourself to make an organic choice. He was curious to see what kind of person you were, when nobody else was watching. Perhaps he would pay you another visit soon, when he could finally catch you by yourself, but for now Karlach was looking between you both with no attempt to conceal her revulsion.

“Now, let’s talk about you.” He turned his attentions towards Astarion, lurking closely and almost possessively behind your left shoulder. “I sense there’s something you want to ask me.”

Astarion gave you a quick glance, double-checking he still had your approval. You gave a small, quick nod, despite your own reservations.

“I do. I have a…proposal for you.” He sounded uncertain, almost shy for a change, both emotions you would not associate with the rogue.

“A proposal? If you’re hoping to taste my blood, little vampling, think again. It burns hotter than Wyvern Whiskey.”

“This is serious business, devil.” Astarion’s tone took on a sharper, more familiar note. “My old – well, a long time ago, someone carved some runes into my back. I’d rather like to know what they say.” Behind the air of confidence was a vein of something else, something vulnerable, something ashamed. You turned to look at Astarion, but he did not meet your gaze. Raphael just hummed in response, clearly pretending to think it over.

“Don’t play games, Raphael. Help him out.” You instructed, any former joviality now gone as you turned your attention back to the devil, drawing out a folded piece of paper from your pocket which, when unfurled, revealed the circles of infernal engravings upon Astarion’s back that you had sketched a few nights ago.

“Oh, such impatience.” Raphael chastised, gently taking the sketch, turning it so that he could see it the right way, eyes tracing the letters with considerable curiosity. You knew he could read it straight away, translate the whole thing for Astarion right here and now, but he would not part with that information for free. He nodded along to himself, as if having a conversation within his own head. “It’s something very important to your master. But is it a love letter, a warning, or a deed of ownership? I could give you all the gory details. But of course, you’ll have to do something for me first. Let me think about it and get back to you.” There it is. Astarion scoffed, clearly irritated.

“You’ll ‘get back’ to me? This is important, devil!” He heaved a dejected sigh. “…When?”

“Don’t worry – I’m motivated to help you! Scars often tell such wonderful stories; I think yours might be truly exquisite. I’ll see you soon.” Although those last words were meant for Astarion, the devil looked at you while he spoke them, gaze holding yours for entirely too long. Then, in a swirl of embers and a cloud of smoke, he was gone.

—-

“You have failed me, child.”

A deep, harrowing voice rang in your mind. Your heart trembled at the gravity, the punishment of it.

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

Salty tears cascaded over rosy cheeks to pool at the corners of your lips. A stifling heat drew beads of sweat from your bare skin, you could feel them running down your back, biting into fresh cuts and scrapes. Even the ground beneath you was hot to the touch, umber dirt slowly burning the soles of your feet drawn up to your chest as you held your meek form marred in blood, bruises, and dust in a mournful embrace, a face burning with an unspeakable shame buried in your arms. Cocooned in downy, bronzed feathers scorched by hellfire, you sat and cried and waited for Death.

You could pray every day for the rest of your life, confess and bare all before the Gods to try to buy exoneration for your wicked thoughts and desires, but it would not change anything. Redemption was a path you were no longer permitted to walk, absolution a stolen dream. You had been judged as unworthy of your station, and thus sentenced to wander the grief-wracked city , that cavern of pain where endless miseries knell , for the remainder of your now finite life.

The heavenly light you had inherited began to fade as you choked back your sobs of unspoken pain, woeful cries swallowed up by the suffocating inferno of Nessus, the Ninth Hell, a pit of suffering reserved for the most wretched of sinners. Firewinds hurtled around, screeching through the flaming forest and threatening to tear the flesh from your bones, the feathers from your torn wings, but you did not care.

Let them claim you, strip you of your very being until nought but stardust remained.

“This is no place for a celestial, my dear.”

His voice, softer than you ever heard it before, ripped you from your despair. Funny how a devil could alleviate some of your most unholy suffering.

You did not look at him, could not bring yourself to exhibit your disgrace.

“A celestial I am no longer. Leave me here to die, Raphael.”

Hoarse and pained, your voice came forth as a mere scratch, heavy with the weight of the consequence of your irreverent crimes.

“Do not let the sun go down on your anger , sweet one.”

Anger. The only thing sharing the space with your sorrow.

“The sun does not shine down here.”

Hands gentler than you had ever known grazed the wing that shielded you, tenderly pushed it down to reveal the beggared being held within.

“No, but perhaps his emissary can.”

Sore, bloodshot eyes slowly lifted to meet vibrant amber moons suspended in a sea of black. A red, clawed hand was extended, an offering, a deal: abandon your grace and walk beside me as my equal, together we will conquer, together we will prevail, together we can do anything at all.

His eyes glistened with his promise and something desperate, a silent want he had grown too weary to bother to hide. It resonated with the ache in your own chest.

Silencing your tears and swallowing your pride, you took his hand.

You awoke that morning in a steady sweat, breaths shallow and mind feverish in a mild panic as the dream danced in vivid clarity before you in the darkness, taunting you with its meaning. It took a while for you to come to your senses, realise where you were, who you were. As you slept, you were sure you had been someone else.

While the portrait of the dream faded from your mind as the day stretched on, it gave way to an unpleasant hollow feeling that started to blossom somewhere between your heart and your stomach, right in the centre of your being. You could not shake the feeling that you had lost something important, that something dear to you had been ripped from your very core. When you allowed this feeling to surge forth, took the time to notice and sit with it, try to reason with it, you found unexplained tears would threaten to spring forth.

Traipsing around Reithwin after a thorough exploration of Moonrise Towers did nothing to ease that emptiness, if anything it only helped it to grow. Witnessing horrors you could never have imagined, surrounded by so many lost souls, it weighed on you more than you cared to admit. Finding Arabella’s parents in the House of Healing, laid out gently, almost lovingly, as if they were merely sleeping took you to the very edge of your sanity. Wandering through the graveyard, learning the names of all those that fell here, it was too much for your soul to bear.

You had never thought that death could have unmade so many.

Feeling wearier than ever by the time you approached the imposing stonework of the Thorm’s family mausoleum in the search for Ketheric’s invulnerability, you almost had no energy to entertain Raphael’s usually amusing banter.

“Our hero thought but of treasure ahead, Did not consider the peace of the dead…”

The devil gazed upon you with an all-too-happy grin, pushing himself upright and off of the stone he had been leaning against, waiting agonisingly for your delayed arrival. Seeing his face, even in his mortal guise, caused a sudden and inexplicable sense of longing to claw its way through your chest and up your throat. Memories of a dream, or, memories that felt like they were trapped in a dream raced across your mind. A sense of total and utter helplessness, fading into a vague notion of belonging. With your waning strength, you fought desperately to push it down, gulp back this awful and unwelcome sense of déjà vu. If Raphael felt it too, he gave no indication.

“Through the dark, she went creeping, And awoke what was sleeping. A new grave they dug, which she herself fed.”

He almost wished to tell you off for being late, keeping him waiting, but sensed it would be fruitless. You had arrived on your own schedule, exactly when you had intended to. Unfortunately for him, you did not play by his rules. Not yet.

“How long have you been stood here practicing that little speech?” You asked with some difficulty as you folded your arms, shamelessly looking him up and down. You might have imagined it, but for a fraction of a moment you could have sworn you saw a hint of a crack in his usually perfect composure, caught slightly off-guard at your words. It was gone as quick as it came though, leaving you wondering whether you had seen it at all.

“Why, until it was perfect.” You had no doubts about that. “I’ve grown quite fond of you, you know, in my way. I thought it only fair to warn you about the dangers ahead.”

And warn you he did, in his way. Eventually. After much convincing and refining. You had not the mental facilities to decode his vague allusions and hidden meanings, not today. If he wanted something from you, he had to put it in plain common, a task that seemed arduously difficult to him. Still, you were able to discern the gist of it: within the mausoleum lurked an orthon, an orthon that Raphael seemed to desperately want dispatched.

“Do not, under any circumstances, underestimate this opponent, mouse. At best you will have the blink of an eye to strike.” He insisted, leaning towards you with a harshness in his voice you had not heard from him yet. “Strike first, strike true. Defy the odds, for they are distinctly in its favour. That much I owe the bastard to concede.” His russet irises bore into yours with a sense of urgency, instruction, and something else mingled in with it all. Something he was trying to hide that seeped onto his face as his brows flinched together, something that, for some reason, he could not hide from you. Concern. “Do this, and I will consider that sufficient payment to decode those scars of yours, Astarion.” He turned his gaze to the vampire for a moment, who nodded in response, before looking back to you. He parted his lips as if to say something, then seemed to think better of it.

“Take care of yourself, won’t you?” Said like a command, tone tinged with warning but betraying a suggestion of authenticity. You did not answer, he always seemed to be the one to decide when the conversation was finished anyway, so you just watched silently as he disappeared.

There was not a single cell in your body that was prepared to fight an orthon today, you decided. Better a task left for tomorrow.

After trudging back to your camp and preparing for the evening you fully intended to collapse straight onto your bedroll, allowing Death’s cousin to take you in its grasp right on through until the morning. Alas, Astarion had other plans. Breaking your heart, namely.

With an air of agitation he explained his plan, how he had set out to seduce you and manipulate you into liking him, caring for him, so that you would offer him valuable protection. A tactic he had employed countless times over the last two centuries to charm the unfortunate and lure them back to his master. A ploy you had fallen for, hook, line and sinker. You felt a deep, unearthly humiliation wash over you, drowning you, even as he admitted to falling for you, too.

The sigh that came forth was probably one of the saddest things Astarion ever recalled hearing.

“You deserve something real. I want us to be something real.” He sounded sincere, but you had trouble noticing over the rush of your own mortification. How could you have not seen this? You had been so caught up in the thrill of a blossoming dalliance, the joy of being desired, you had not thought for a second to wonder whether it was real.

“So, the nights we spent together didn’t mean anything to you?” There was no hint of an accusation in your voice, no bite, no anger. Just pure unfiltered sadness which pained him more than your rage ever could.

“Of course they did, that’s the problem. Or, part of it. Being close to someone, any kind of intimacy, was something I performed to lure people back for him. Even though I know things between us are different, being with someone still feels…tainted. Still brings up those feelings of disgust and loathing. I don’t know how else to be with someone. No matter how much I’d like to.” You understood, and perhaps that was worse than not understanding, because you felt like it robbed you of your right to hurt. The betrayal stung deeply, agonisingly, but you tried your best to pacify it for the moment. You had always been an expert in diminishing the size of your own feelings for the sake of others, after all. Always one to make room for other people in your life by making yourself smaller.

“Maybe what you really need is a friend, not a lover.”

Astarion looked a little taken aback, a little…unsure, for a moment, before weighing up the meaning of your words.

“I…I would like that.”

You held his hand, promised all was forgiven, that there were no hard feelings. You hoped you were as good at pretending as he seemed to be.

Leaving him, you returned to your own tent and sunk into your bedroll, hoping sleep would come for you quickly so as not to leave you with your now depressing thoughts for too long.

For the first time in a long time, you tucked your head beneath the covers, and wept.

[chapter five]

[le-velo-pour-dru]

I get the results for my ADHD/autism evaluation next Wednesday, yippeeeeeee ^w^ 🩷

[wayliparker-co]

📝

hi anon!!

📝 spoiler from the outline!

😳 for the sillies.

the game!!

[bigolgay]

Guys I had an embarrassment.

I am naked on my upper body. Like tiddies out for the world to see. My curtains were wide open. I look up and out the window. Catch eyes with the man working on the farm behind my house. But it doesn’t end there. I avert my eyes slightly and spot a light on in the house diagonal to my window. Look closer. Another man looking at me.

It only lasted like 3 seconds but I have never closed my curtains so fast in all my life. I genuinely think I may have broken the curtain rail a little bit.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a little bit of an exhibitionist. I like being watched and looked at. But… I don’t like being watched and looked at when I don’t know I’m being watched and looked at. The whole point of it for me is to “preform” for them. CANT DO THAT IF I DONT KNOW IM BEING LOOKED AT NOW CAN I?

So basically… I really need to remember to close my curtains.

[arkhmlcst]

Did you put the porceline animal heads on the dolls or do they just look like that?

“ oh, i made it that way. each of them hand c-crafted and made to fit their bodies. i would never tear off the head of a dollie, not if i didn’t need to. ”

she picked one off from her shelf, a elephant with a clown-like outfit. “ this one’s sebastion. his body was made to carry his heavy head. could you imagine m-me frankensteining his body to another ? he would fall over and crack ! ”

she gently placed sebastion back down, dusting off his shiny head as needed. “ now, i w-won’t lie. i probably tried to customize a doll sometime, al-although i can’t quite remember. ” her eyes glanced around the shelf and landed on one in particular that had looked like an odd one out.

“ i… i can’t remember who gave me this one… ” she spoke as she gently took it off the shelf. it was a baby doll, with an actual baby mold for a head. “ but… i do know i’ve had to f-find it a surrogate body. this one already c-came beheaded. ”

the doll had looked very clean now compared to when it was found. it now had color in its skin, rosy blushing and painted wispy brown hair. it’s new glass eyes were a gentle green color and it had a hand-sewn frilly dress.

dewey held it in her arms, holding it gently and rocking it back and forth. she seemed to forget the question, and was now coddling the fake baby.

[simolemons]

Wanted a bit of a challenge after spending some time just playing a legacy with no direction, doing the same ol', same ol' stuff. After seeing @hiddenspriings (gorgeous) gameplay photos, I felt inspired to also try out @horusmenhosetix's Completionist Challenge, and so far, I'm having fun!

Meet Danielle Ellis, our founder for this lepacy challenge. Her traits are Ambitious, Athletic, Handy, Light Sleeper, and Lucky (all rolled randomly). Her vibrant, happy-go-lucky personality matches her colorful hair and rosy skin. Also because I'm a sucker for points heh.

Here are her goals in her lifetime:

Fox on the Run [Athlete] 👟 ⬛ Have the Athletic trait +0.5 point ⬛ Join Athletic Career +0.5 point ⬛ Attend a sporting event +0.5 point ⬛ Get married as adult +0.5 point ⬛ Donate to Charity +0.5 point ⬛ Sign 10 autographs +0.5 point ⬛ Go for a run once a week (from one lot to another) +1 point ⬛ Reach the top of the Athletic Career +1 point ⬛ Master Athletic Skill +1 point ⬛ Complete Athletic Skill Challenge 'Body Builder’ +1 point ⬛ Complete Athletic Skill Challenge 'Marathon Runner’ +1 point ⬛ Complete Athletic Skill Challenge 'Fitness Nut’ +2 point ⬛ Complete the LTW 'Become a Superstar Athlete’ +1 point

Thankfully, I haven't played the Athletic track so hopefully, this will be a new and fun experience!

[cutearose]

oh PLEASE answer 34 and 44 for the book ask bait questions!!

thank you dear friend!!!

34. do you read more than one book at a time? 

not usually!!! if I’m reading a nonfiction book I may read it alongside my fiction books, because I usually have to read nonfiction in small chunks and only when in the right headspace, but when it comes to fiction I usually only read one at a time - largely because I normally finish a book in one or two sittings! I really struggle to put down a book once I start reading, and I feel like if I switched between multiple books I would get so very confused. 

44. did you read more as a child or now? 

ooooh interesting question!! I feel like I must have read a lot more when I was younger, I was consistently borrowing 30-40 books from the library along with rereading the many books on my shelves at home. but I like to hope that over the past few years I’ve started to get back towards reading more again! but yeah I definitely dont think its quite as much, given how many more hobbies and demands on my time there are now. 

[rubberbandballqueen]

we finally got got the camp and playground rules posters i asked my boss to get printed, and someone redid all my beautiful and thoughtfully-made typography... :'c

[astrxealis]

40 mil is the highest points i've had for gw ever tbh so i am proud of myself so far <3 also !! almost rank 175 >;D

anyways hi just small update/rambles uhm. i've been more productive w school but also school ew !!! and 6.3 is so fucking soon holy shit i am not ready at all & i hope this week i can finally start omori and/or p4g <33

[noxtivagus]

i love ffxiv so much fr

[crescentmp3]

;

[daenysx]

hi love <3

first off i wanted to say that i find myself lurking in your blog way too much than I should (i mean i have a life and i cant spend all day reading your fics, OR CAN I?) and i love how you write and hejsusjsjsj you just make my day, so i hope you’re having a wonderful day gorgeous💗

second of all, can i please request either a poly marauders or a sirius (or James whichever you think fits the story better) x fem reader where her birthday passed and just no one seemed to really care except for the boys? Some of her friends forgot and some others gave a half hearted birthday wish and she just feels sort of unloved? and just lots of hurt/comfort/cuddles/fluff hehe thanks

if u cant tell, im projecting🤧 my birthday was on the 9th and lets just say it was not that important of a deal for most people :)

you are the sweetest angel, my love, happy late birthday!! i'm really sorry, you deserved the best birthday and i hope you can accept this little fic as your birthday gift!! ♡

it's my first time writing for poly!marauders, please share your thoughts with me!!

poly!marauders x fem!reader, fluff + a little hurt/comfort

your cheeks ache from giving smiles to your boys all day.

it wasn't an eventful birthday for you, but it was so so nice. you woke up to kisses from james, his whispers of sweet nothings as remus came back to your side from kitchen. sirius's hair was wet from the shower he took as he does every morning, you and james watched how remus took care of his curls from bed. you spent more than an hour just staying in bed, feeling more loved than ever with their words and kisses.

when remus finally convinced you to leave the bed, james offered to carry you in his arms all the way to kitchen. "anything for my birthday girl." he said, your lovely boy. sirius kissed your lips as he handed you a cup of coffee, pancakes and fruits were just like you enjoy. a perfect birthday breakfast, you laughed at every joke sirius made, accepted every forehead kiss from james. remus was giving you heart eyes, you blushed from the attention you got. he gave you an easy smile and you blew him a kiss.

the boys had plenty of offers for your birthday celebration but you decided to stay at home. you wanted a quiet day with them, just being lazy and careless. thinking about wishes and dreams about your new age. you liked how easy it was to do as you wanted with them, no explanations or excuses needed.

you could hear the whispers coming from kitchen when james got you comfy on his chest, cuddling on the couch. he kissed your hair, your arms tightened around his body. legs tangled, fingers curled up on his shirt.

you checked your phone, the screen was bright, showing there's a birthday message from lily. you smiled, replied her long text. there were other texts from a few of your friends. well, technically they were birthday messages but- none of them felt like they actually wished you the happiest birthday. why would people text like celebrating someone's birthday is a chore? you frowned, couldn't accept the fact that you were in fact, waiting for something better. didn't you deserve it?

james noticed how your smile fell, he could see the texts on the screen. "happy birthday, love u." that girl was supposed to be one of your closest friends. you really were expecting something more- heartfelt? you always tried to make sure people you like know how much they are liked by you, texted the sweetest messages to them, cared about their birthdays more than yours. it didn't feel fair. still, you didn't want to jump into conclusions and ruin your day. you let go of your phone to wrap your arms around james.

he held you gently, kissing you again. "anything wrong?" he whispered. you shook your head. it was nothing important. he nodded, giving you a little time to collect your thoughts.

"angel." he said, "there's something here you may want to see."

you looked up, saw your boyfriends holding a birthday cake for you. it was beautiful, covered in silver colored candles. remus held the cake for you to see better as you sat up, the candles were definitely sirius's choice. you forgot about the texts, seeing them smile at you like you were the most precious thing in the whole world was making your head dizzy with affection.

you blew the candles, making a wish. james's fingers were drawing circles on your arm. you kissed your boyfriends thank you, a slow but happy tear rolled on your cheek. "come on, sweetheart, there's nothing to cry about. you're still young." sirius said, winking. his lips were curved into a playful smile.

"let's eat the cake." you said. "god, it looks so good."

"you remember remus's friend who owns a bakery? we got the cake from his shop." james said.

"who, charles?" you asked, remembering details about charles for a second. "i always see the cakes he makes on instagram, he's really good."

"first slice for the birthday girl." remus said, giving you your cake. "happy birthday, sweetheart. we love you so much."

"i love you so much." you said before taking a bite. "it's delicious. thank you."

sirius ate his own slice in three seconds. "this is better than i expected. another slice, please moony."

you kissed his chocolate covered lips fondly. hours were spent on eating cake, gossipping about sirius's workplace, drinking tea, and changing into different cuddling positions. your phone was silent, no one called. there were no other texts. it's weird, you thought. even the people who celebrated their birthdays with you didn't bother to give you a small text.

the day is almost finished, you are full with cake and sweets. james insists on doubling up the princess treatment he gives you every day and helps you with your skincare. you are sitting on bed as his fingers apply your night cream on your achy cheeks, sirius and remus brush their teeth at the bathroom after you and james leave for bed. your hand reaches to your phone. nothing.

"i think," james starts. "it's time you should tell me what's been on your mind all day."

you shrug. what can you tell? expecting birthday wishes from people feels weird. maybe they forgot. maybe they didn't care enough. should you remind them it's your birthday? no, that's stupid. is it? you don't know.

"what's upsetting my baby on her birthday?" he says. "tell me."

"there's something upsetting our baby?" sirius steps in after remus. "what happened?"

you give them a smile that says you're okay. "nothing." you start. remus's eyes find yours, worry sparks in them. "it's just- the girls and my friends from work- some of them forgot about my birthday, and other messages were a bit weird."

"i'm sorry." remus says, holding your hand. "i'm really sorry about that, angel."

"it's okay." you say. "i mean, no one has to remember."

"um, yeah, they kinda have to at some point." sirius says. "you do your best to remember things about your friends and you have every right to expect the same from them."

"i know." you say. you know, but what can you do?

james leans in to kiss your cheek. "i know it's terrible. you don't deserve it. i think- it's not your fault, yeah? you didn't do anything wrong. you deserve the best."

he says the last part silently like he's sad and it breaks your heart. they tried to make your day perfect, they don't deserve to end it sad. you don't deserve to sleep upset on your birthday. you look into james's eyes. "i already have the best." you say. "have you seen our boyfriends?"

you are being sweet on him. "have you seen yourself?" you say, pulling his face to kiss him. he smiles into the kiss. "i'm okay, really." you say.

"of course you are." sirius says. "in what world the birthday girl goes to bed upset?"

remus brushes a kiss on sirius's curls. they are lovely, sitting up in bed to comfort you the best they can. you need a bit time, you think. it's a hard thing to carry, feeling like you are not loved by some people you care about. it's not fair to the boys though. you are so incredibly loved by them and you feel it in your every breath. you can think about the others later. for now, you only need to show your love to your boys. the three people who deserve it the most.

[c4teyezz]

skincare with my fav jjk men <3

༶•┈┈┈┈┈୨

contains: gn!reader, fluff

characters: nanami, toji, gojo, geto, higuruma, and sukuna

༶•┈┈┈┈┈୨

nanami

“is it really necessary to put that much moisturiser on my face?” his hands were on your hips as you sat on the flat surface of the sink

“of course! everyone needs moisturiser, even people with oily skin” you reassured him, massaging it onto his face

“you sure are taking your sweet time with this…” “almost done!” and finally you ended it by squishing his face

“darling…” he said in almost a muffled voice

“hehe sorry”

toji

“the hell does this do anyway?” he asks shaking the toner

“well it mostly helps with smoothing the texture on the skin and helps with uneven skin tone, and stop shaking it! you might drop it…”

he hands it back to you “my nose is itchy…”

“hey! dont take the mask off yet!”

gojo

“this is fun!”

“alright now put this on” you handed him the moisturiser

thing is its not in a squeeze bottle or in a pump bottle, its in like a container of some sorts and as you turn around, and turn back around, gojo almost has a giant blob of it in his hand

“GOJO WHAT THE HELL THATS EXPENSIVE YOU KNOW!!!!”

“huh-“

geto

“this is a toner it can help with the redness on your face”

“you know my skin is pretty clear right? i basically dont need these…” he said pretty proud of himself for being blessed with such skin

“just try..” “alright alright” he splashed some of his hand and onto his face

“hey this feels pretTY AH FUCK IT GOT IN MY MOUTH”

“geto!” you laughed

higuruma

hiromi sat on the couch leaning as you apply the face mask on him he shivered a bit “its cold…” “pfffft duh it feels better if its cold!” you replied

“where did you get this mask?”

“i stole it”

“what-“

“just kidding!” you laugh at his reaction

(get it? bc hes a lawyer and it’s against the law to shoplift, im so funny)

sukuna

“i dont need this shit.” he said in a stern voice

“i know but just give it a try! this serum is pretty good!” you tried to convince him

“fine. if it makes you shut up” he allows you to touch his face and spread the serum

“watch the fucking eyes!” omg you completely forgot he had a second pair of eyes

༶•┈┈┈┈┈୨

lol this was pretty fun to write

[mitsuyeaah]

hey, i was wondering how bonten (or ran, rindo, and sanzu) would act if they misunderstood a situation between you and your older brother and they got all jealous. (no inc*st or step-cest or anything like that). it’s a funny trope so i thought i’d ask lol

MISUNDERSTANDINGS

syn: bonten trio accidentally misunderstanding a situation between you and your older brother.

TR ft. RAN, RINDOU, SANZU

cw: swearing, jealous!bonten trio but other than that, just pure fluff, pet names (baby, babe, princess, darling)

a/n: sorry this took quite a while, anon! wrote this while i was at the gym hehe

₊✮⸜ ༘⋆ RAN HAITANI

— tries to understand the situation. ran tries to keep a cool front, keyword: tries. he knows he’s mature enough to not jump to conclusions but it’s driving him absolutely crazy so he resorts to confrontation.

“oh, hey babe! just getting this sorted out.” ran stared at the scene in front of him, he could feel his limbs tingling from he didn’t know what exactly—jealousy? anger? confusion? you sat on the living room floor, assembling the new coffee table you and ran had bought; it was all fine until his eyes landed on a man sitting across you, helping with the furniture. what the fuck? you had come up to him so casually with another man in his presence, kissing his cheek as you greeted him. were you not ashamed one bit? guilty? that another man was under the roof the two of you shared? stepped foot in a home designed for you and him only? ran stood there, pools of lilac boring holes onto the unknown man’s head.

you turned to ran, noticing the shift in his aura but his eyes were locked onto the man next to you. before you could call out his name, he opened his mouth, “and who might you be? didn’t know we had a.. guest, if i may.” his tone was flat and cold but a saccharine smile made its way to his lips as if to taunt the man. you furrowed your brows, “ran—” “no, princess. i want to hear from him. he’s got his own voice, yeah?” you blinked up at ran as he cut you off. was he being for real right now? why was he being rude?

your older brother let out an awkward chuckle and scratched at his nape, “i’m- i’m their older brother.. uh, nice to meet you, ran haitani, right?” your sibling hastily stood up, jutting out an arm at ran who looked like he had seen a ghost. every single feeling was drained from his body at the man’s introduction. well shit. “darling.. i’ve told you about my older brother so many times.. do you not remember?” ran wracked around his brain. shit. shit. you had told him but he somewhat forgot about it.

he stood there for a few seconds before quickly shaking your brother’s hand, “oh fuck, i’m so sorry! shit shit— i didn’t mean to be rude at all!” ran’s eyes widened before profusely bowing in front of your older brother. you bit back a smile, ran has never acted like this before—it was such a sight to see him all flustered and embarrassed. a man who’s nothing but self assured turned into a flustered mess in front of your brother. “you treat all strangers like this..?” your brother mused, clearly joking. ran’s mouth opened and closed as he turned crimson red. both you and your sibling laughed out loud at his awkward state.

₊✮⸜ ༘⋆ RINDOU HAITANI

— waits for you to admit it. rindou is not a man of many words, he doesn’t really like confrontations and would rather hear it from you without him having to ask you—even if it swarms his thoughts day and night.

“you know.. you can tell me anything..” rindou’s deep voice sliced through the peaceful silence of the night, the vibrations from his chest going straight to your ear as you lie your head atop it. there was this slight hesitancy in his tone that made you furrow your brows, “hm? what do you mean?” you angled your head to look up at his face—his amethyst eyes were cast with the warm glow of the bedside lamp but you could see the swirling storm behind it. rindou stared straight ahead, his hand had stopped rubbing your back. he bit his lip, feeling a lump in his throat as he mustered the courage to say something. to address the elephant in the room.

“i.. i know you’re seeing someone else.. i saw another man’s shoes at the doorstep when i came home.” upon seeing it earlier, rindou turned and left to clear his thoughts. he closed his eyes, his hand that hovered over your back balled into a fist. furrowing your brows, you put the pieces together in your head and before you knew it, a wide grin was plastered on your face. rindou’s eyes shot open as you burst out laughing, no sign of guilt on your face. he was confused. “wha—” “baby.. those shoes you saw earlier? they were my brother’s! he came by to meet you but you came home later than usual.” you buried your face in his chest, shaking with laughter.

rindou’s brows shot up, “but— how— you didn’t tell me..?” “i texted you, remember? though i don’t think you replied at all.” realisation sank in and rindou wanted the bed to swallow him whole. his phone had died and had no way of charging it, hence why he didn’t see your text earlier. he buried his face in his palms as he felt his face heat up in embarrassment. how could he be so silly? “fuck, how embarrassing.. i’m so sorry for assuming, baby. i—” “baby, it’s okay.” you tried to console him but ended up bursting with laughter at the situation, earning a deep sigh from rindou and his face shielded with his hands.

₊✮⸜ ༘⋆ HARUCHIYO SANZU

— immediately jumps to a conclusion. sanzu is a very clingy partner, he sees another man next to you? he sees red. doesn’t beat around the bush, and he gets straight to the point—this behaviour of his, he’s picked up from doing his job in bonten.

“who the hell is this?! are you cheating on me?” you almost dropped the plate you were holding at sanzu’s loud voice. there he stood at the entrance of the kitchen, sleeves of his button down shirt rolled up, hair tousled—a clear sign of a rough day from work. a vein was prominent at the side of his neck as he questioned you. sanzu narrowed his eyes at the man who stood next to you, not only was he in his kitchen, he also wore his apron. “sanzu! that-that’s not the way to greet my brother!” you took a few steps to stand in front of him as you saw rage brewing behind his azure eyes; it all quickly dissipated as his eyes darted between the two of you. oh. you two did have the same eyes.

sanzu bit his bottom lip, embarrassment quickly swallowing him. he remembered his outburst a few seconds ago and he wanted nothing but to crawl into a hole. “ah.. um.. my apologies. didn’t know you had an older brother.” he sheepishly smiled at you, scratching at his nape. “well now you do. he was so eager to meet you, you know.” you raised a brow at him before proceeding to set up for dinner—with the help of your older brother. sanzu awkwardly stood there, feeling out of place. he locked gazes with your brother before shuffling to his feet and warmly greeting the man; you playfully shook your head at sanzu as you heard him profusely apologising, his tone much calmer and quieter now.

throughout the night, sanzu kept close. he fully knew you were still a bit upset at how he acted towards your brother. he didn’t blame you, it was entirely his fault. he was clingy—a hand on your thigh, an arm slung around your waist, his shoulder touching yours. you’ve already forgiven him earlier but you wanted to see how far he’d keep up with this; it was cute to say the least. how he followed you like a puppy with it’s tail between it’s legs, clearly guilty of his actions.

© mitsuyeaah

[bunnypeew]

Hey sweetie, just read that you're taking requests, so I thought I might toss one your way.

How about an Female reader x Alastor x Lucifer, both demons sorta fighting for her, but she doesn't decide for either of them. Alastor was a friend of hers when she was alive, and Luci is a real charm xD so they agree to share 😏 if ya know what I mean hehe please NSFW if you can. Lots of shadow play since Alastor doesn't like sex too much.

Thank you 🥰

HELL YEAH I CAN IM A SUCKER FOR LUCI X READER X ALASTOR LETS GOOO

Sharing is caring - Lucifer x fem!reader x Alastor NSFW

warnings: NSFW, MDNI pls thank you, cunnilingus, shadow play, voyeurism, cumming inside

''you are just being a prick!,,

Lucifer shouted at Alastor while they were both waiting for Y/n to come out for them all to hang out. It had been a while since both of them kinda courted her and were always around her in some way, whether it was physically or just Alastor's shadows following her around making sure she was safe. She loved it, without any lies, one of the most powerful overlords in his time and the literal king of hell, like come on!

''And you are being an annoyance,,

Alastor scoffs at his nails, not interested in what Short Stack is saying. It wasn't until she came out of the door, that sleepiness on her face, her hair all messed up and her shirt hanging barely on her shoulders. She was a sight to be seen for both of them

''sorry guys I completely forgot about our outing today so I slept in,,

she says yawning and stretching he arms upwards, letting the fabric get lifted up by her boobs, exposing her panties and belly. At this, both men were petrified, both for different reasons. Alastor composed himself gripping his cane and giving her a warm smile

''why hello there darling! you seem to be a bit exposed there, care for me to help you out?,,

he says walking towards Y/n and putting a hand on the nook of her back, now looking at Lucifer with a challenging smile, this makes his blood boil making him get near her as well trying to pull her away from Alastor only for him to grab her waist stopping Lucifer from moving her at all. Y/n notices this and sighs

''you guys need to come to some sort of understanding because I'm not making that choice for you,,

she speaks, making them both turn their attention to her instead of their bickering. This makes them think for a little while, they did think of something but both of them didn't really like that outcome, but at this point, they really had no choice but to agree with one another. They look at each other, giving a nod then turn their attention fully to Y/n

''how about, we go back to your room darling, the three of us,,

Lucifer says putting a hand on her waist and getting closer to her face all at once, this time not to make Alastor jealous but to just grab her attention while Al works behind her. From the nod they had before they both agreed that they wanted her, maybe in different ways but they both wanted to make her feel good. Alastor shadow was put underneath her, moving away her panties, this made her gasp making her close her legs in an instant and turn around to look at the culprit. All Alastor had to show was a wide smirk and the bulge from his pants prominent, all three of them knew that he wasn't one for sex but to please his sweetheart he would do all he could without being touched, even if just standing and watching Lucifer take the lead, so that's what happened. They went to the bed in her bedroom, Luci smacking her onto it and getting on top of her, while Al sat down in a chair near them stroking his pants.

This took Y/n by surprise because they never did something for all three of them, it was mostly Lucifer with whom she had sex, Alastor usually didn't opt for this kinda of stuff but today was a first. Lucifer got in between her legs, the panties already moved off her cunt so this gave ease of access to his tongue to slip in, this made her gasp and grab the sheets on the bed. In the meantime, Alastor had pulled his cock out and started jerking it slowly with one hand while the other hand was controlling the shadows to which he made go to Y/n body to play with her, mostly her boobs. Whimpers could be heard from her, suffocated a little since she was getting shy by Alastor looking at her with a lustful look in his eyes, his permanent smile still there, just softer. One of his tentacles with into her mouth making her gasp and moan out loud

''I think both of us want to hear you dearest,,

Alastor speaks and chuckles when he can finally hear his sweetheart in all her glory, in the meantime, lucifer on sucking and licking on her cunt making her whimper and moan even more. He knew exactly what he was doing, eating her out was one of his specialities, after all, he loved to make her feel good. Soon after he stopped, letting his cock come out of his pants to then slam into her right away with one thrust, the tentacle out of her mouth and now around her neck giving her the possibility to speak

''Luci.. holy shit,,

she is able to mutter in between moans, with Lucifer picking up his pace, and Alastor does as well. They both went on until they reached their climax, Alastor finishing in his hand while Lucifer finished inside of Y/n, her legs quivering the same as her cum filled cunt.

They could say they were gonna share you like this more often from now on.

a/n: GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH IM SO GLAD I GOT TO WRITE THIS!!!! I hope it satisfied your request and thank you so much for the ask :3c @christineblood

[ssahotchnerr]

Bau! Reader and Aaron only moved in together recently and she’s not used to sharing her space so when she keeps finding his stuff in her cupboards and in her fridge Aaron is all like “dear… I literally live here…” like funny cute domesticity vibes <3

aftershave

hehe that's so cute cw; nothing but fluff <3

you had been mindlessly running through your morning routine, getting ready exactly as you did every morning. after brushing your teeth, you reached for your facial cleanser, which was always directly at the right of your favorite body lotion. before you popped it open however, and much to your surprise, you were met with a product that wasn't yours.

you must've made a sound or something of the sort, because you managed to grab aaron's attention.

"sorry, did you say something?"

"no... i just." you paused for a moment before meeting his eyes, eyebrows furrowing. "your aftershave is in my cupboard?"

aaron's face brightened, letting out a laugh as he joined you in the bathroom "i think you mean our cupboard, sweetheart. i do live here, y'know."

your confusion vanished instantly and you couldn't help but laugh at yourself, not embarrassed per say but feeling rather silly. "oops sorry, i forgot."

"forgot?" he teased, his eyebrows raising in amusement as he playfully poked your side. "forgot?"

you laughed as you swatted his hand away, rolling your eyes as his laughter filled the bathroom. "yes! i forgot!"

aaron hummed in response, his brown eyes sparkling as he took the aftershave from your hand, putting right back where you found it. "well, i'm afraid it's something you better get used to darling."

"gladly." you grabbed onto the fabric of his button down, pulling him closer to peck his lips before wrapping your arms tightly around his middle. with your chin resting on his chest, you looked up at him. "i like being roomies with you."

"you better. now that i get to wake up to you, and go to sleep besides you, i don't think i can go back to doing so alone." he tapped your hip affectionately, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. "and be careful. aftershave is the last thing you want to wash your face with."