#i start hyperventilating so i didn't realize this was the same thing

[sirnica]

So, these are panic attacks and not low blood sugar.

Good to know.

[billthedrake]

CAMP DADDY

"You got this, Carter," I heard from behind me. It was Dave, the guy at the camp I'd bonded with the most.

I wasn't sure I had it. Over the last week we'd done a lot of challenging stuff... long hikes, swimming races, rock climbing, you name it. But the spelunking was freaking me out a little, between the darkness and the tight spaces. I didn't realize I had claustrophobia, but I guess I did. I was hyperventilating.

"Come on, relax, bro," my buddy said. "One inch at a time. I'm right behind ya, man."

I pushed through. And once I cleared into a bigger part of the cave, I saw more headlamps ahead. I unclenched my held breath.

***

I'd been a real fuck up of a teenager. That's why I was here at this Outward Bound camp. Strike one was shoplifting and getting caught for it. Strike two was yelling at my dad and calling him a piece of shit, on his birthday no less. Strike three was the ketamine use. The next weekend Dad was shipping me off to this godforsaken place in the woods upstate. He wasn't going to pay for baseball, college, or my car if I didn't go. So I did.

The first couple of days I gave a bunch of lip to the counselors. I couldn't stand their fake-cheery demeanor or their 12-step BS. "Stay strong," we had to say at the end of each "huddle" meeting. Like it was fucking church.

But I was smart, smart enough how to play this. I knew I should just lay low, go along with it enough. It was just three weeks.

It helped that I bonded with Dave the first day. He was another baseball jock and cynical too. We made fun of the Sunday School teacher vibe of the lead counselor Mr. Connell. Only at Outward bound we were supposed to call the counselors by first name.

Dave had been there a week. "At least all the physical stuff is good exercise," he said. "I'm actually getting in really great shape for next season."

It was true. There was a gym, too, in the common room of the main cabin basement. Kind of a basic barbells and benches kind of gym but a lot of us jocks would work out together, until I got annoyed by them too. Other than Dave, they all bought into the 12 step crap.

I started talking to Pete, a punk guy with a shaved head and a permanent snarl on his face. He was cool. He wasn't just cynical, he'd talk back to the counselors. But one day he was just gone. No Pete.

***

Maybe unconsciously I was trying to get Pete's fate. Get out of this fucking place. I thought three weeks would go fast, but a week and a half had drained me. I mouthed off to Mr. Connell. Sorry, to "Mike." He smiled in that fakey way and tried to be zen about it. But I was getting to him. After dinner I sulked on my own. I'd started to realize Dave was in on it. Playing normal to get my confidence and win me over to the Program.

I was wallowing in self-pity sure, because I knew I was crushed out on Dave. I'd hidden the gay thing pretty well my last few years, but now I didn't have booze or pot or drugs to push my feelings down. Maybe that's why I was acting out, I don't know. My body was just a mess of hormones and my brain a bunch of conflicted thoughts.

***

I woke up in a room that was identical to the two-bed cabin I'd been sleeping in with another guy Zach. Only it wasn't the same room and there was no Zach. On the other full bed a man sat reading a book, kind of a big beefy-but trim older man, dressed in joggers and a zip-up athletic top that clung to his thick muscle. I thought it was a sex dream, but the second I realized it was real I jolted awake, sitting up straight in my small bed.

"Wait, who are you?" I blurted out. This man wasn't one of the counselors. He was older, with salt-and-pepper hair trimmed short. Probably in his early 50s.

Patiently the man set down his book. He didn't have that fakey-nice look but was on the sterner side of normal. "You can call me Daddy," he said. He had a smooth tenor voice.

This was weirder than a dream. "What the fuck?!" I yelled. "I'm not fucking calling you Daddy. Where's Zach? Where are the other guys?"

He shrugged. "You didn't like the other guys," Daddy explained. "We had to change plans."

I was freaking out now. More than in that dark cave. I jolted up and ran to the door. This cabin wasn't in a big compound but was attached to a single small room with a window overlooking the mountains. I looked back on the bed. The man was surprisingly calm, like he expected my reaction, or worse. That was one thing that made me try to check my emotion, to use my head. I knew how these fuckers worked.

"This is kidnapping," I said. I was realizing I must have been drugged to be moved entirely to this new place.

Daddy shook his head. "Fraid not. And we suggested to your father that we extend your stay here to two months. He agreed it's needed. We'll add more if takes all summer.

I broke down. Tears welled up in my eyes. I wasn't going to let this asshole see me cry, and yet I already was. Defeated, I sat on the bed facing away from him.

"It's OK," he said, with terse reassurance. "It's tough here. I'll make breakfast for when you're ready."

***

I gave him the silent treatment. Unlike the Outward Bound counselors he didn't try to make me talk. Maybe he was giving me the silent treatment too, maybe he realized a one-way conversation was useless.

I got dressed and while Daddy was showering up, I stepped out of the small cabin. There was a trail, and it had to lead somewhere. I took one look back into the cabin, then took off.

Fortunately the trail split a few times so if Daddy followed me he'd have a hard time catching up. I don't know why I hadn't thought of escaping before.

I got lost. Real fucking lost. The deeper into the woods I got, the less sense I had of where to go. The day went on. I got hungry. I kept walking. I expected to hear a highway or cars or people or some sign of civilization. Nothing.

I was freaking out. I stopped and sat on a tree trunk. Crying. There was no Dave urging me on. No "stay strong" mantra. No other guys. It was just me, fucking up again. My stomach rumbled, and I felt thirsty. It was getting dusk. I couldn't believe I'd have to sleep out here, but my big fear was wondering if I'd ever get back.

I heard rustling on the trail. Then saw a flashlight and the dark imposing figure of a 6'4" man coming my way. It was Daddy.

"Here," he said, offering me a sandwich and water. "Have this, then we'll head back."

I was too grateful and relieved to mouth off. But on our walk back I had a realization. "You knew I was here," I said.

"Yes," Daddy replied. They probably had a tracking chip in my clothes somehow.

"And you made me wait here alone."

"Yes," he admitted. "You had to learn the hard way, Carter." There was an undercurrent of empathy to his voice.

***

It took me a couple of days, but I opened up. And once I started talking, you couldn't shut me up, it felt like. I talked about my problems, and Daddy listened. It was like a therapy session and a buddy conversation, from breakfast till night.

Daddy was the first man I told I was gay. We were sitting on the Adirondack chairs outside, enjoying the view of the mountains and the sunset and I just went there. I confessed my problems dating girls and the times I got erection problems during sex.

"I told them I was drunk, but I wasn't," I said.

"I'd have done the same," Daddy said in his mellow voice.

That caught me off guard. I tried to read him, but he was still an enigma to me. A flash of me wondered if he was into men. The dude was jacked for his age, and I got a flash of excitement imagining him having sex.

Daddy was counselor, captor, friend, and father figure rolled into one. "What's your deal, man?" I asked. Not hostile like before, but probing. "Here I am spilling my guts out and I don't even know your name."

He smiled but just kept his even manner. "You don't need to know name, just Da..."

"I know," I interrupted. "You're 'Daddy.'"

Something about my exasperated tone made him smile. And maybe relent. "I did Outward Bound when I was your age. I acted out, got into trouble," he explained. "The Program set me straight."

"Was the program as unconventional when you did it?" I gestured around to the isolated cabin where I was more or less hostage.

That got a grin. "More so."

I was curious. "Did you have a Daddy?"

He nodded. "I did." He took a sip from the can of soda. "Later he taught me how to be a Daddy."

I still didn't get whatever psychoanalytic babble the Program was tapping into, but Daddy's words did make me think.

"You know what makes me, mad?" I asked.

"What?"

"This shit's probably working."

That got a chuckle. "You'll be glad when it's over Carter."

It was dark now and it felt darker out here in the middle of nowhere. "You ready for bed, kiddo?"

It was the first time Daddy used that nickname. But I replied I was.

We'd talked so much we were pretty quiet now as we went inside and got ready for bed. Normally Daddy slept in a T-shirt and shorts but that evening he peeled off his shirt. In the lamplight I could admire the powerful chest muscle and ripped abs. Best of all that DILF body was covered in a trimmed coat of salt-and-pepper fur. Before Daddy I didn't realize I was into older men. Now, I had to check my gaze.

"It's ok to look, buddy," the man said. His voice was as soft and encouraging as I'd ever heard it.

"What?" I replied in a checked grunt.

He tossed the shirt aside and turned to face me directly. He was a masculine god, even more alluring for his quiet nature. "It's OK to look," he repeated. "That's what Daddies are for."

The words were fucked up but they gave me a boner, instantly. I couldn't help it.

Daddy saw and was unfazed, peeling down his joggers to show off his soft genitals. That cock was meaty and matched the low-hanging full nuts in their shaved-smooth sac. It wasn't the first cock I'd seen of course, but it was the first live one I'd seen in a sort of sexual situation.

He walked over and pulled down the bed sheets. Daddy's backside was just as magnificent as his front. Strong back and a meaty round ass, the kind I didn't know 50-something men had. But Daddy had one.

My body was shaking, nervously, but the man was acting normal, getting into bed and pulling up the sheet to his abdomen. He gave one more look over.

"If you want to join me Carter, that's your move."

I didn't know if this was some Outward Bound trap or mindgame. A part of me didn't care, I was so horny. It's as if my brain couldn't stop my body from slipping out of my bed and crossing over. The one thing that gave me courage was seeing Daddy scoot his bed to the side to give me room to get in as he lifted the sheet a little. I could see a flash of his erection, even, thick and meaty like him.

"Stay strong, kiddo," he said softly and I nodded, getting into the bed to join him, my body shaking.

"There," he grinned as I finally settled into a lying position next to him. I could feel the heat of his body even if I was afraid to touch him still.

"You're first time with a man?" Daddy asked.

"Yes, Daddy." It was the first time I called him that. It made him smile, which made me glad.

His fingers touched my flank. I was still wearing my shorts but was shirtless and the skin contact felt incredible. This wasn't faking it with a girl.

"You're a very handsome young man, Carter," Daddy said in that soft tenor voice of his. "I'm honored to be your Daddy."

With that the mean leaned in and placed his lips against mine. It was my first kiss with a man, and nothing prepared me for it. A tingle went up my body and my prick surged even harder in my shorts. Particularly when Daddy's tongue pressed forward between my lips and into my mouth.

I was following his lead. Daddy was my coach at that moment. Coach in life and Coach in sex. I couldn't have dreamed of a better one. It was intense and sexual and passionate, but we also took our time.

As we got into it, I got the courage to feel him. His hairy, muscular, warm body. I reached down and touched his cock, hard and alive in my grip. My first dick, and one I'd never forget.

The way I moaned made Daddy pull back from the kiss.

"You like that, buddy?" he grinned.

"Yes, sir," I hissed.

"You like dick," he said with assured ease. "Don't let anyone make you think you're a lesser man because of it."

"No, Daddy," I replied, gripping his boner one last time before relinquishing it. I had to feel up the rest of him, too. More.

He slipped my shorts down, at least from one side till I decided to help him out. My dick was sap-wet and as rigid as I had ever remembered it being.

"You're not the only one," he said. "Not the only young man into dick. Your buddy Dave..." he started.

That jolted me in surprise. "For real?"

Daddy nodded. His hand now circled around my crotch before his fingers grazed my boner. "For real."

I don't know if it was jealousy or something else I was feeling. "You do stuff with him?" I asked.

The man shook his head. "No. He has a different Daddy," he explained, pausing before deciding his could share the information. "Connell."

Well, fuck me, I thought. The last thing I would expect.

Now Daddy's lips were on my neck, kissing me as his hand alternated between massaging my smoother body and stroking my cock. "You up for the full ride tonight, Carter?" he asked.

If he'd asked me that even an hour before, I would have chickened out. But the body contact and the sexual intimacy made me want it all.

"Yeah, Daddy, I do," I answered. "Stay strong, right?"

That got a laugh. He leaned up. I'd never seen him look so hot, so handsome. "Yeah, kiddo... that's right. Stay strong." He leaned in for another kiss, softer this time. It felt right. Righter than right.

Then he started working his way down, kissing my chest and abs, feeling me up some, telling me he was going to take his time.

I got my dick sucked for the first time. I got my balls licked. Then Daddy urged me to pull back my legs and proceeded to give me my first rim job.

I decided then and there that two months here wasn't going to be enough. I hoped my Dad would keep me here the whole damn summer.

"Oh fuck!" I hissed. It was stimulating and naughty and tickling at the same time. I loved getting eaten out. I didn't have anyone to compare it to, but Daddy was a pro. Eager, intense yet also working in some finesse to keep it intersting.

I slowly relaxed my hole. My whole body was relaxed, in fact, lying back into the bed, looking up at the ceiling as I kept my legs pulled back for Daddy.

The first finger entry caught me by surprise. I looked down to see Daddy's brown eyes fixed on me, as he worked his finger in and out.

"Stay strong, buddy," he urged softly.

"Fuck yeah, Daddy," I replied. Trying to be his good soldier. Daddy was gonna make me a man that night, and I wanted to be all man for him.

He finally pulled back and reached over. I didn't even notice the little jar there before, but Daddy unscrewed the lid and dug in. There was some liquidy grease that coated his fingers.

And now my asshole. Damn, it made his two fingers feel incredible going in. And out. And in again.

"Yeah, you're hungry, kiddo."

I grunted. Those fingers were feeling intense in a great way, but short circuiting my thought. I flashed to think of Dave, imagining Mike Connell doing this to him.

A third finger now breached my relaxed ring. It gave a few gentle prods then pulled out.

"You're ready."

The man scooted in place, his hard dick standing straight up from his hairy crotch that was still darker brown than his chest hair. I had felt but not gotten a real good look at his cock, but Daddy was real thick and maybe 6.5 inches in length. The guy was horned up, too, judging by how rigid his meat was. He slathered some of that grease on his boner and pushed it down to line himself up.

"The entry might be tough," he warned. "Or not."

"You better not say, 'Stay strong,'" I joked.

That got a laugh out of the man. "You're all man, Carter," he said.

And like that his cock was breaching my hole.

"Unnfg!" I let out, before I caught myself. The sting surprised me. It didn't hurt too bad, but the unfamiliarity of it freaked me out some.

Daddy's hands rand along my abs, gently, coaxing me silently to relax. I tried, until I was successful. More dick slid into me. The man was patient, but I could tell he was really turned on.

I was getting my cherry taken away, and I was thrilled, particularly when Daddy's cock bored deeper. Weirdly, the deeper the man went the better it felt. Daddy felt bigger than 6.5 inches. Maybe I'd underestimated his size, maybe it was just the psychological effect of having him buried inside me.

"Fuck yeah, kiddo," Daddy growled. "Take it."

I looked up at him. The man was a stud who knew what he was doing. "You done this before?" I asked. "Taken a guy's virginity?"

The question caught him off guard. It was almost like he didn't want to answer me. But he looked down with those soulful brown eyes and replied, "I have, Carter. Many times." He pulled his hips back and thrust in. THAT felt fricking amazing and I held onto his meaty arms. Then again. "But I care about each and every one," he added. His thrusts got faster, as Daddy intuited I was receptive. "I care about you, kiddo."

Daddy was taking me there. Physically and psychologically, he was showing me how amazing getting fucked could be. The man wasn't rough, but he pumped faster and harder. He was teaching me I loved it that way. I held on and looked up at him and felt my prick quiver.

"Fuck me, Daddy!" I hissed.

"Yeah, kiddo. Daddy's got ya." His body seemed in control but his breath was ragged and heavy. The man was turned on like hell.

That thick cock seemed a blur inside me now, its way in my tunnel greased up and the heavy hard rod punching some spot inside me.

I dind't realize I was so close to cumming until Daddy's greased fist wrapped around my bone. Not even needing to stroke it, just touching me made me fire off. I saw white, and my body felt hot and tense, then it all got released with a series of cum shots firing out of my young jock body.

I tried to keep my vision, to look up at Daddy in gratitude. To watch his own O face take over form the calm, collected surety of his experience. That got tossed out the window when Daddy came. He was as lost in pleasure as me. That made me happy.

We crashed together. Holding onto one another's hot sweaty bodies, them our lips meeting to kiss again.

"Oh buddy," he hissed finally. Like I was the one who'd done him a favor. Maybe I had.

We didn't talk after, we didn't need to. Instead, Daddy held me in a spoon position and we drifted off to sleep. At least for a few hours before we had sex again.

***

The next week, Daddy had me pack my backpack, and he led me back to main compound. I would have been sad our alone time was over, but I knew it wasn't going to be our last. Daddy didn't have to tell me. I just knew he'd be in my life from now on and me in his.

Punk dude Pete was back. His hair had grown out and was in a military buzz and his snarl was gone. Dave though was the one who welcomed me first with a bro hug. The other guys followed suit.

I wondered how many of them had a Daddy.

***

I was part of the Program now. Welcoming the newcomers. Bonding with the cynical ones. I'd been where they were and knew what they were going through. I'd been a fuck up, too.

Two months went by quickly. My Dad was there to pick me up. He had an apprehensive look on his face. Connell told me that Dad had been updated on my progress, but after what my father had been through maybe he was nervous I'd not been truly changed.

I had my mobile phone back, and I'd already looked at the last messages multiple times. "Stay strong, kiddo - Daddy." Then "You better stay in touch. Love ya, Carter."

I took one last look and tucked my phone into my pocket before running over to give my Dad a big hug.

"Damn, Sport."

Dad hadn't called me Sport in ages.

"Thank you, Dad," I said. There would be more to say later. But the look on his face was a huge reward. His fingers grazed behind my ear as he held my head steady and looked into my eyes. Like he was reunited with a son he'd lost for real.

"OK if we break up the journey home?" he asked, snapping out of his spell and grabbing my bag from me. "It's a long drive."

"Of course," I said.

We got settled into the front seat and Dad started the car. We made some small talk, and Dad caught me up on life back home. Though I didn't miss much, other than maybe Dad re-treating the wood on the back deck.

We were winding down the mountain and re-entering civilization. At least if these small, one-traffic-light towns counted as civilization.

Dad shifted from the small talk. "So... you survived OK, Son?"

I nodded. "More than survived, Dad. Thrived." I had bought into the whole Program now.

He seemed pleased. "I, um... heard from an old Army buddy of mine," he said. Something in his tone seemed laden with meaning. "He said he got to know you real well."

I blushed. I knew damn well my father was talking about Daddy.

"Yes, sir. We got real tight."

Dad had a good idea of what I meant. He gave a gentle nod and glanced over at me. "I'm glad to hear."

I was chubbing up in my jeans now thinking about Daddy. "OK if I go visit him sometime, Dad?" I asked.

Dad's voice got quiet. "That can probably be arranged."

I thought maybe I freaked my dad out. But we were quiet for a lot of that drive. It had been around 3PM when I'd checked out of the Compound, and it was getting dinner time.

I loved diner food and after two months of Outward Bound meals, I was ready for a real restaurant meal. I scarfed down my food, which amused Dad. "Looks like they haven't been feeding you, Sport," he said.

"They definitely don't believe in creature comforts," I said. I pulled out my phone. "This might have been the hardest thing to live without." I mostly was checking to see if Daddy sent me another message.

Dad laughed. Then he got serious. "So... no hard feelings, Carter?"

I sighed. "God, Dad. After what I did to you? What I put your through? I don't know how to make it up to you."

"You don't have to make anything up to me, Son. Just stay on the straight and narrow. At least till you find yourself."

I took that in. "I'm finding myself, Dad. For real."

"That's all a father can ask," he said.

Dad was normally not great at expressing emotion, and already he was itching to get the check and pay for the meal.

We drove a little bit more. Dad had me find an available hotel that wasn't too expensive. I don't think I realized until we checked in how long of a day it had been. Emotionally as much as anything.

I decided not to check my phone again. Daddy and I would find a groove to correspond and to meet again. I trusted him.

After I brushed my teeth, Dad was in one of the beds, watching TV on low volume. He wasn't build quite as strong as Daddy but his upper body was solid, and he had the same soft furry chest. As I stripped down to my briefs, Dad's eyes watched me furtively. Probing me with soft expectation.

I took the initiative this time. Just feeling Dad's eyes on my half-naked body was all the signal I needed. Pausing at my own bed, I turned back to him. "Ok if I join you instead?" I asked.

Dad was too scared to reply. But he nodded and slid over.

Only when I got into bed with him did I realize that Dad's bod was more solid than I initially thought. His clothes always hid the hard tone of his muscle and he had some love handles that stopped shy of a beer belly.

Our kiss was soft and taboo as fuck. Dad's hands clung to my body, like eagle talons. I pushed my tongue into my father's mouth and felt him plunge his back. Dad didn't kiss like Daddy did. It was hard and needy.

Just as impetuously he and I stripped down our underwear. Our dicks were a lot alike. Longer, regular thickness, with a gentle curve to the right, heaving leaking. Like twins. Dad looked down at mine, like I did at his.

"You're all grown up, Carter."

"Yeah, Dad." I reached down and touched his cock. My dad's cock. He wasn't Daddy, he wasn't my first man, but the forbidden aspect made it off the charts. "I gotta learn to be your son again, though."

Dad gulped. His eyes grew misty wet. "You never stopped, sport. Not even this last year."

We kissed. Dad was responding to my soft approach, like I'd responded to Daddy's. My hand ran along his strong chest and his softer middle as we made out. I felt every bit of guilt for how I'd treated Dad and it was coming out in the only way I knew. Like Dad, I wasn't good at expressing emotion.

But I was good at this.

I broke off the kiss with a playful smile. Dad seemed to be trying to read what I was thinking. I let him wonder a minute longer.

I scooted down, kind of kneeling on the bed, till I was face to face with the dick that made me. I touched it again, feeling its poker hot heat and its steel rigidity. I could smell his masculine scent.

"Sport..." he urged, as if telling me something.

His next words caught in his throat as I took his dick into my mouth. I paused a second. Daddy had instructed me in this, but my father's cock felt particularly dry until I summoned up some extra saliva. Then I went down on him, slowly, teasingly.

I was going to make things up to Dad in the way I knew how.

He placed his hand on my head, softly cradling it as I lovingly blew him to completion.

***

The next morning when Dad was in the shower I sent a text.

"Daddy, you didn't tell me you knew my father."

He was up and the reply was quick. "You had to find out for yourself." Then, "I hope you can be a junior counselor next summer."

I thought of what next year would mean. Being off at college, enjoying some independence. Making new friends.

But I knew that meant nothing. "You know I will," I wrote.

"Stay strong," Daddy replied.

"Stay strong," I wrote back, then set down my phone.

[miniwheat77]

Silence. (Ghost x Reader.)

!nsfw, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, trauma, panic attacks, blood, death, MDNI!

Short lil ghost fic, hope you enjoy. 💖 (not edited)

If there's anything that's more scary than a warzone.

Anything more terrifying than running through a battlefield, bullets flying past you, explosions around you.

A war is terrifying. But there is one thing even more chilling than that.

Silence.

It's all they hear on your end of the radio. Silence.

Just minutes ago you were responding, you were alive and well and talking to them. Now, nothing. It takes them all off guard. They're worried about you immediately, needing to get to your last coordinates. So they rush there.

They can see your trail. Blood and bodies lay in the wrath that was once you, ambushing and killing to get to the reason behind this mission in the first place. One that they hadn't clued you in on in the first place. Now, as they approach you, they realize they should've. They should’ve asked more questions because it might’ve saved you from what’s to come. You've stumbled upon a lab, standing where you are. You're grief stricken and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it now. Thousands of photos line the walls. Test subjects, something that you had once been involved in. You're sick the moment you see it. The photos, the blood. The wounds and the innocent people dying when there's nothing you could do.

"What the fuck is this?" The venom is clear in your tone as you spin to look at your Captain, who had failed to tell you what this mission was in the first place.

You turn back toward it. "I'm sorry Y/N. I had no idea. It was Laswell who set it up." He stresses at the way you look at the photos on the wall. You seethe, staying quiet. Turning back and making your way to the wall. You tug a photo off, tack falling to the ground. You see the innocent girl inside the photo and you recognize who she is. Having seen her killed the same day you had escaped, your empty promises to her. How you'd get her out and she'd get to see her family again and how you watched a bullet pierce through her skull. Her lifeless body falling, blood spattering onto you. It was then when Captain Price had arrived to help you.

It's what made you decide to join the task force after everything. After being kidnapped and tortured by a foreign enemy. How nobody seen or heard from you for months, how they knew not to send you on anymore missions involving this operation knowing that you were one of few surviving members. It would set you off and that's why you stayed away from it. John was going to let Laswell have it when he got you back to base.

It takes little to nothing to send you into a fit of rage. You start ripping everything off of the walls, throwing equipment, kicking, and destroying everything physically around you. You needed to.

They let you until you're hyperventilating.

It takes Ghost to pull you back, nobody else was brave enough to intervene and he holds you to his chest as you flail and pant, blinded by the memories of being held captive and being tortured. Watching all of those innocent people die around you, some of which were your own. You didn't take enough time to heal and that was apparent to Captain Price as he watches you freak out, having bottled everything up. Watching it explode as you fell into a full blown panic attack. He shakes his head, seething as he exits the building. Phoning Laswell the moment he could no longer hear your cries.

"John."

"So help me god Laswell. If you knew what this was and you let me bring her in here.." He hesitates.

"What do you mean?"

"This is a direct connection to the operation Y/N was in before this task force, Laswell. She's hysterical." He hisses. Laswell can tell through the phone that he's beyond pissed.

"I didn't John, I had intel from some other sources. I didn't know." She hesitates. "Well. Double check next time." He stops responding after that.

When John returns, Simon is still holding you, but he's turned you away from everything that you had just destroyed. Your eyes are bloodshot and you have tear stains on your cheeks. You stare ahead like there's nothing going on behind your eyes and it's unnerving.

Silence.

Nothing but silence and they hate silence. Ghost holds you tight. Like if he lets go you'll disappear into thin air and John silently thanks him for it. Ghost of all should know how you feel right now. Having lost everything himself. When he feels you're ready, he moves you from the room. Helping you up but keeping your head turned away from everything. You didn't need to see this anymore.

When you arrive back on base, you’re silent. Making a b-line right for your room and they don’t see you for the rest of the night. You sit in there for the most part. Your reaction today probably scared everyone and you wish you hadn’t reacted the way you did. But you couldn’t control yourself.

Something shocked you today.

Ghost. The way he held you. You knew he was one who was never into physical touch or affection but that’s all he’d done. He held you to his chest, whispering nothing but soothing things into your ear to calm you. And the fucked up part about it was how well it had worked.

For the next couple of weeks, the aura around Ghost is different. Your eye contact is prolonged in passing, and whatever you feel. You know that he can feel it too. When you pass by him, it’s like everything moves in slow motion and he holds your eye contact until the last possible second. His gaze is chilling.

It’s you who seeks him out first. Late at night, you come knocking and you don’t know why. You don’t remember your feet carrying you to his door this late at night but it’s almost like he’s waiting for you. Still fully dressed despite the hour. You raise your hand and hesitate before you knock very quietly. He says nothing as he opens it up and sees you. Eyes just piercing yours. He steps to the side, allowing you in. Not a word spoken between the both of you. You stand in the middle of his room, turned toward him as he closes the door. You can see his gloved fingertips twist the lock. Swallowing hard, your eyes trail back up to his eyes.

You’re the first one to break the silence.

“You feel it too… don’t you?” You’re already breathless and it comes out more pathetic than you think it does.

He says nothing. Which is the answer you think you want. Ghost is guarded, of course he wouldn’t admit to it. But he’d also deny you if it weren’t true.

He’s on you before you even have time to react. His mask is pulled off and his lips are on yours, pure Ghost. Nothing but a killing machine who you’d hardly talked to before all of this. He’s got you pressed against the wall. He helps you remove your sweatpants, tugging them down your legs.

A hiss leaves your lips as he raises you up. He holds you against the wall, pressing his knee up against it to reach for his belt and zipper. Tugging his jeans just past his cock to free it. You can feel his bare skin brush against yours. Not a single fabric blocking him from you now.

His shaft presses against your entrance and he has time to think about if he should do this or not.

He stares you in the eyes, they’re watery and puffy. Your lips are blushing and plump from kissing him.

“Please-“ you mewl. “Y/N.” He warns. Finally coming to, enough to realize what he’s doing. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to take advantage of you.” He hisses.

“Simon.” Your voice is low.

“Fuck me until it hurts-“ you hiccup. Looking up at him.

His breath hitches in his throat. He rests his cock right up against your entrance and watches your face for any discomfort for at least a minute.

When he sees nothing but pure lust in your gaze, he thrusts up into you. Penetrating you. He cuts your cry off with his hand but hears just a second of it. It rattles him to his core, the way you sound. Ghost doesn’t know what this is, what his sudden feelings for you are. And it’s so weird that you felt everything too. Something has changed, drastically. He holds your hips tight to the wall as he hammers his hips into yours, your own hands clamp over your mouth. He’s rough, but in the most pleasurable way. Even with his tight grip on your hips, fingertips sure to leave bruises. You still don’t hurt.

You move your hands from your mouth, biting your lip to silence yourself as you wrap your arms around his neck to kiss him again. It’s sloppy and messy, just like the sex you’re having but you couldn’t care less.

He moves you to his bed. It creaks a little bit but Ghost can’t find it in himself to care at this moment in time. Your thighs shake as he ravages you. He keeps a bruising pace, not letting up or relenting in any way. He needs you to feel every part of him. He needs to be overbearing, almost to the brink of too much but not crossing it.

You clutch the sheets hard, he tugs his shirt off finally. Taking a deep breath. His hair is damp from sweat, beads of it settle on his face. Drips slide down the strands of his hair. Falling to land on your chest, his hair was a little overgrown for his liking but he hadn’t gotten the chance to cut it just yet. The wetness is what brings you down to earth to raise his chin, making him look you in the eyes. That pressure is building and there’s no going back now. You hold his eye contact, hearing his breathing start to get more jagged and out of control. He was right there, and so were you.

You cum first, eyes screwing shut and he clamps a hand over your mouth, hips still moving into yours as he chases after his own high. When he cums, he can’t hold back the groan. Eyes rolling back as he fills you. Shaking as he experiences the most intense orgasm he’s ever had by far, barely being able to ride it out from being so sensitive. He flinches as you throb around him, it’s almost too much. “F-fuck” he hisses, collapsing on top of you. Resting his head on your chest. “Shit..” he mumbles.

“I’m sorry.” He breathes. His hair is wet and it’s cold all of a sudden.

“For what?” He raises his head to look at you. “I.. I shouldn’t have pushed you like this. And I shouldn’t have..” he hesitates. “I should’ve pulled out.”

“It’s okay. I’ll take care of it, don’t worry about it.” You take in a deep breath. “You didn’t push me. I came to you.” You breathe. “I’m glad you did. Stay.” He mumbles. Seeing the edge of your lips turn up in a smile. “Okay.”

You end up staying there until morning when you sneak off to your own room. Nobody knows what happened, and you want it to stay that way for now.

You’re not sure what this is. What these new feelings for him are. Of course they’re intimidating. But you don’t let them scare you. It’s the start of something new, and bonding with someone who understands your trauma and knows how to help you.

You can help each other.

[youunravelme]

to all the girls you've loved before part six

author's note: okay......so i can explain. i know it's been like four months, but i swear it wasn't on purpose and tbh i lost track of time. so here's it is after months of waiting. i promise i didn't forget about it, i just had other projects i was working on (like the 30k words i wrote for two separate fics) that really took up most of my inspiration. there is a time jump in this, but not a huge one. but enough excuses! here's to part six (which is 9.4k words, i figured y'all deserved it)!

pairing: single dad!mat barzal x reader

summary: being a nanny for rich people was probably the worst thing that ever happened to you, until you started working for mat.

warnings: children, rich people, fear of falling in love, moving into angst city baby

day forty-five

you woke up in an unfamiliar place. disoriented, you looked around, noting that it was still dark outside. there was a weight around your waist that was familiar in the sense that you'd felt that sensation before, but unfamiliar in that it smelled like someone new. your heart started racing at the feeling, until you recognized it for what it was: an arm.

your heart rate settled for a moment until you blinked and realized that while you were at home, you were in a different room and considering there was no crib, you could only make one leap in logic:

it was mat's room.

jason's words came back to haunt you almost immediately.

he'll get bored of you eventually. people always do.

your hands felt clammy as you slowly slid out of mat's hold. your knees were shaking. the air was too thick to breathe evenly, but you knew if you started hyperventilating in mat's room, he might wake up and freak out with you.

so you took some shaky breaths and then booked it back to your room.

you stared up at the ceiling for two hours until ella woke up. immediately, you got up, thankful for a distraction from the conflict brewing inside your chest.

when you opened your bedroom door, mat was standing across the hall in his own doorway. his hair was disheveled and his white tee shirt was askew, but it was clear he had the same thought as you.

the two of you stared at each other until one of ella's cries snapped you both back to reality.

"i'll get her," you said quickly before darting into ella's room and ignoring the feeling of his eyes on you. they burned into your back like someone was steaming the clothes hanging off your body.

in the crib, ella was kicking her legs and flapping her arms as much as her sleep sack would allow. and for a moment, you forgot the momentary discomfort at the sight of her gummy smile.

"good morning, sweet girl," you crooned. you reached into the crib and unzipped her sleep sack before picking her up and into your arms. she immediately snuggled into your chest, tucking her head under your chin.

you changed her diaper before heading out to the kitchen where mat was cooking eggs.

you wouldn't look him in the eye, just focused on getting ella into the high chair. mat walked past you, putting her plate of fruit on her high chair tray. it was the closest you'd been since that morning in his bed. and while it was technically innocent, it didn't feel innocent.

as much fun as he was, you'd forgotten that mat was still technically your boss, a friend too, but your boss nonetheless. and sleeping in his bed, regardless of how much you believed you needed it, was a mistake.

you couldn't lose this job, lose ella, lose sydney, but you didn't think you could handle losing mat. not entirely.

so you'd settle for losing the smaller moments of closeness. you'd stay professional with him if only for the sake of keeping your heart and income safe.

god, you hated thinking of him just as an income, but jason's words rang in your head like a small town church bell at noon. was he just waiting to sleep with you? was he just taking pity on you?

it was too early to get a headache.

you sat in a chair next to ella and checked your phone for any messages when a plate was placed in front of you with eggs made in the way you loved and a piece of toast.

"it was all i could manage without giving you food poisoning," mat said sheepishly.

you said a quiet thanks and turned your attention back to your phone, missing the way mat's face contorted into a frown.

"what do you have planned for today?" he asked, taking the seat across from you.

you shrugged, not feeling too keen on going out in public after what happened the night before. you weren't stupid, logically you knew new york was a large city and the odds of running into natalie or jason were slim, but you saw them last night and you weren't too eager to chance repeating the same thing.

"i think we'll just take it easy, stay home and hang out," you said. the words what about you were sitting on the tip of your tongue, but you kept your mouth shut.

mat hummed as he took a bite of his toast. "i'm gonna go work out with tito before practice, and then i think we have some interviews or media to do," he said.

you nodded but said nothing. when ella finished her breakfast, which looked like her tossing eggs onto the floor, you scooped the plate up and hurried back into the kitchen, excited to do something more than just sitting in a room with mat. you started washing the plate, not even thinking about the dishwasher three feet away.

"i can get that," he said, reaching around you and grabbing the plate straight out of your hands. he placed in in the dishwasher before grabbing the broom and sweeping up the eggs on the floor as he cooed at his daughter.

your heart lurched in your chest at the sight, at the view of him being so gentle and doting. you cleared your throat and dusted your clean hands on your pants to keep them from doing something stupid like pulling mat to you and asking him to hold you like he did last night.

"i hate to rush off," mat started as he placed the broom back in its corner and washed his hands. "but i told tito i'd actually be on time today." he got ella out of her high chair and kissed her chubby cheeks. "dada loves you ella bean," he said before approaching you.

you did your best to prepare for eye contact. but the bottom line was as soon as you met his eyes, you couldn't move, couldn't breathe.

he was the prettiest man you'd ever seen, with an even bigger heart.

you snapped out of it when ella reached for you, focusing on how her downy brown hair was growing longer, instead of how she was a complete carbon copy of her father.

for a second, you almost felt bad for her birth mother, nine months of being pregnant, all that labor, only for ella to look just like mat.

but then you remembered that same woman dropped her daughter off with him with just a note, and any lingering feelings of empathy and pity immediately vanished.

you took ella and scampered off to her room, ready to get out of mat's presence.

the two of you were playing with some of her toys when you heard mat call out a goodbye before the door shut behind him.

it wasn't until the lock clicked that you could finally breathe.

day fifty-five

"are you coming to the game tonight?" sydney asked over the phone.

you had your cellphone tucked between your shoulder and your ear as you prepped ella's lunch for the day. the baby in question was babbling to herself when she wasn't stuffing her face with the cheerios you gave her until you could give her lunch.

"uh..." you hesitated, trying to play it off like you were too focused on mashing up bananas.

"oh come on," sydney said. "i feel like i haven't seen you in forever."

"you saw me last week."

"that was seven days ago. you didn't even come to the game earlier this week. what was that about?"

the words were on the tip of your tongue, the truth dangled in front of you like low hanging fruit, but you couldn't get yourself to say it. not in his home, not when he would be getting home shortly, not in front of ella, even though she would never be able to repeat it.

sydney said your name. "are you there?"

you sighed through the receiver. "i'll be there."

"great! i'll pick you up!" she said before hanging up.

you and ella ate in silence until mat came through the front door. ella immediately squealed and threw her bananas in the air, some of which landed in her hair, other pieces ended up on the floor.

"ella bean!" mat smiled as he dropped his things on the ground.

he walked over and you shot up out of your seat to walk into the kitchen under the guise of grabbing paper towels to clean up her mess.

"how was she?" mat asked, taking over your job in supervising his daughter eating her lunch.

you shrugged even though he couldn't see you. "she's been fine. it's been a normal day."

"are you coming to the game tonight?" he asked. truthfully, he'd asked you earlier that morning, or maybe the word begged was a better word to use. you could tell he was disappointed that you hadn't gone to his game earlier that week, but he was never going to pressure you.

"yeah, we're riding with sydney."

"do you have anything to wear?" he asked.

your back was turned, so you didn't see the hopeful gleam in his eye. so when you shrugged and said "sydney said she would get me a shirt," you didn't see the way his shoulders sagged and how the corners of his mouth turned down.

when you turned back around, he was back to looking happy.

you started cleaning up the banana off the floor while mat handed ella her water cup.

"she takes a nap right after lunch, right?"

you looked up at him to find him already staring at you. his hazel eyes felt like they could see right through you, like they could tell you were pulling away and wanted to know why.

you nodded, rendered speechless by his gaze.

"i'll put her down, i've missed her." he booped her nose which made her immediately shriek and squeal. "i don't have to be at the arena for another two hours, so you're free to do whatever."

you expected as much, after his first long roadie, mat wanted to do everything concerning ella. considering he got back earlier that week before having a home game two days later, he hadn't been as present as he would like.

and the result was always a clingy mat.

"sounds good," you said.

maybe you'd text sydney to hang out at a coffee shop for the time being. or maybe you'd lock yourself in your room under the guise of napping while you stared at the ceiling and wondered how you got into this situation.

as ella finished up, the idea hit you immediately.

erin, the woman who you nannied for first.

when mat put ella down, you snuck out the front door and across the hall, praying she would be home. you knocked and waited, fully expecting to turn around and go back to mat's apartment.

you stood outside for all of five minutes before turning back around and heading back into mat's apartment.

"everything okay?" mat asked when you walked back inside the apartment. he was just coming from putting ella down if having one of the baby monitors in his hand was any indication.

"yeah, i'm fine," you said. "i'm just gonna go lay down for a little while."

"oh," he replied. "thought we could watch one of those reality shows you like. felt like i haven't seen you in awhile."

you gave him a small smile. "rain check? i'm really tired."

mat smiled back, though it wasn't as confident as it usually was. if you looked hard enough, you could see the edges of it shake, like he was doing his best to keep up appearances.

but you headed back to your room before you could do something stupid like apologize for the emotional distance and ask for forgiveness.

you got got into bed and stared at the ceiling, only taking your gaze off of it to turn your baby monitor on. you weren't sure how long you were in that borderline comatose state, just repeating jason's cutting words in your head, when ella woke up.

you got up when she cried, fully expecting mat to be gone by then, considering it had been an hour and a half. but you walked into ella's room to see him pulling her out of her crib in his game day suit.

and it should've been illegal to see him snuggle and kiss her cheeks. to witness him cooing back at her as he changed her diaper. you leaned against the door frame, unable to keep your heart from soaring at the sight. just to think, a month and a half ago, he was terrified, now he was changing a diaper like he'd done it his entire life.

he didn't notice you until he turned around and nearly jumped ten feet in the air at the sight of you standing there. "jesus fucking christ," he said. "you scared me."

you couldn't help yourself. "you don't say," you quipped with a grin tugging at the corners of your lips.

mat closed the distance between the two of you and passed off ella. "i hate to run, but--"

"you don't have to explain yourself to me," you said. "we'll see you later."

he nodded and booked it out of the room, but not before pressing a kiss to the side of ella's head.

you heard the door lock behind you a beat later.

you and ella spent the rest of the afternoon lounging around before it was time to start getting ready for the game. you had her dressed in her barzal jersey and a coat while you slapped on a pair of jeans and a tank top, waiting for sydney to bring you the shirt you'd end up wearing.

it was a quarter to six when sydney knocked on the door. she had her daughters with her. winnie immediately went to see ella, who was sitting in her playpen with one of her toys in her mouth.

"you look cute," sydney commented before tossing the shirt at you. without even thinking about it, you tugged the shirt over your head and threw on the jacket you had laid out on the couch.

"so do you," you replied while slinging the diaper bag over your shoulder. you quickly scooped ella up and looked at sydney. "you ready?"

she nodded as the two of you got three kids out to her suv. you had ella in one arm, her car seat in the other, with her diaper bag weighing heavily on your shoulder.

fifteen minutes had passed by the time you got all the girls in the car and strapped in yourselves. you thought everything was normal until sydney turned the music on a little louder and looked at you from the corner of her eye.

"what's going on with you and m-a-t," she spelled out his name probably as a precaution to prevent winnie from picking up any details.

you froze, but tried to play it off. "what do you mean?"

sydney rolled her eyes. "don't play dumb. you asked me for a shirt to wear tonight instead of raiding his closet like you usually do. you didn't go to the game earlier this week under some flimsy excuse."

you sighed, knowing you had been caught.

but sydney wasn't done.

"not to mention, m-a-t asked me what happened at the bar because you'd been distant ever since and hadn't talked to him about it." sydney sighed. "i'm not mad," she said. "i just want to know what's going on with you, i thought things were going well. you two seemed..."

you looked over at the blonde. "seemed like what?"

she shrugged. "just thought you two were a good fit is all."

you groaned. "syd--"

"but we don't have to talk about it, i just think you need to have a conversation with him sooner rather than later."

whatever you had to say was cut off by winnie screaming out the lyrics of baby shark.

the five of you arrived with an hour left until the puck drop. thankfully, the wags rented a suite which meant you didn't have to contend with a huge crowd and ella didn't have to feel confined to just one seat the entire night.

grace along with the other wags greeted you and ella with grace offering to take ella from you in exchange for a margarita, an offer you couldn't turn down.

when the boys came out for warmups, you went with sydney and her daughters and ella down to the ice. ella fought the headphones on her head, she kept reaching for them but you had to pull her little hands away so she wouldn't hurt her ears.

it took a few seconds for matt martin to spot the five of you before he was skating over and waving at his daughters and wife. he smiled at you and ella, tapping the glass once before continuing his warm ups. it was seconds later when your mat showed up with a big smile on his face. ella shrieked, and though the sound was lost in the ruckus of the arena, mat looked happier.

your eyes met and the noise died down, even if it was for a brief moment.

you okay? he mouthed.

you nodded and gave him your most convincing smile. it seemed to do the trick because he was beaming back at you as he skated away backwards, eyes locked on yours.

you turned away and caught sydney staring with a smirk. and while she didn't say anything, you could almost hear her train of thought.

when the game finally started, you were all back in the suite. ella was clinging to you, refusing even the idea of being held by someone else. you couldn't blame her, it was getting close to her bedtime and she was always clingy around that time.

you did your best to pay attention to the puck, to the other players on the ice, but your eyes kept finding 13 whether he was on the bench or the ice. he kept glancing around the ice, probably following the puck like you should be, and occasionally talking to his teammates.

you turned when someone nudged you. grace was standing there with a cup of ice water in her hands. "do you wanna sit?" she asked. "i know your arm is getting tired." you smiled and nodded thankfully, following her over to a pair of seats.

she let you sit in silence for just a moment before she started talking. "are you okay? you seem lost in thought tonight."

part of you wanted to be annoyed with the constant interrogation. no one had ever asked you this many times if you were alright. but that thought alone had your heart lurching.

no one had ever checked on you this many times like sydney, grace, and mat had. it was an unusual feeling, and one that made your heart beat faster in your chest while also making your stomach turn.

"i've just got a lot on my mind," you said, hoping the answer would suffice.

grace nodded, like she could recognize when it wasn't worth the effort to keep pestering. "if you ever need someone to talk to, i'm here. i know running into an ex is never fun."

you kept a straight face even though grace hit the nail on the head.

the game continued on with the islanders winning 6-2. but you had been so out of it, if anyone asked, you wouldn't be able to tell them who the isles played against.

you made your way down to the locker rooms with ella sleeping against your shoulder and the diaper bag slung over the other shoulder. you would've put her in the car seat, but after an earlier attempt ended in her crying and screaming for ten minutes before she fell back asleep, you decided to just hold her. grace had the car seat in one hand so you wouldn't have to carry it while holding winnie's hand with her other one so sydney could carry her diaper bag and her youngest.

the three of you waited with the other wags, making small talk amongst yourselves like you had all night.

anders came out first and kissed his wife before greeting everyone else. matt came out shortly after with casey. his attention was immediately drawn to winnie who ran into his legs with zero hesitation.

you waited for ten minutes before your mat came out with his game day suit on and wet hair. it felt as familiar as your mother's homemade cooking.

he smiled when he saw you, anything anthony was telling him didn't matter anymore.

"what'd ya think?" he asked.

"you played a good game."

his gaze drifted from your eyes to your lips then to the baby on your shoulder. his brows creased in confusion. "she didn't sleep in the car seat?"

"we tried, but she screamed and wouldn't settle unless i was holding her."

he nodded before adjusting the bag in his hand so he had a free one to scoop the car seat out of grace's grip. he nodded towards the diaper bag on your shoulder. "want me to carry that?"

"you saying i'm not strong enough to carry it by myself?" honestly, you were supposed to be keeping things professional between the two of you, but you just couldn't help but quip back at him. not when he made it so much fun.

mat rolled his eyes and took the bag off your shoulder and slung it over his own. "let's go home."

day sixty-eight

with christmas approaching, you were spending all of ella's nap times, packing your bags and wrapping presents. thankfully, you had the foresight to ship your family's christmas presents to your parents' house.

it was just a matter of wrapping mat and ella's presents.

you might've gone overboard with ella's presents, spending too much money on books and a stuffed animal you thought was cute. mat's present was different.

it was always gonna be different.

originally, you weren't even sure if you were going to get him a present considering you were trying to keep things professional. but sydney let it slip that his present to you was really thoughtful, so you immediately left the apartment as soon as mat got home.

in the end, the tie felt a little impersonal, but you added a note, heartfelt enough to not be insulting, but maintaining an air of professionalism. you kept the presents in your room, knowing mat wouldn't try to guess what you got him if it was out of sight.

mat had roped you into decorating for christmas, a tradition he hadn't honored since moving out to new york, but with it being ella's first christmas, he was going all out.

with ella's first christmas approaching, mat's family made plans to fly in two days before to attend the game. you made plans to leave the city so his family didn't have to get a hotel room and you could miss the christmas eve traffic.

your bags were packed by the door while mat got ella ready.

"who's driving you to the airport?" he asked at the dinner table the other night.

"no one," you said after you'd swallowed your food. "i'm taking an uber."

mat made a noise in the back of his throat. "no you're not. i'll drive you. what time do you have to be at the airport?"

"mat, it's not that serious."

"it is to me. so again, what time do you need to leave?"

mat came walking down the hallway with ella all bundled up against the cold weather that was raging just outside the window. snow flurries were falling down at a rapid rate, something that might've concerned you had mat, a canadian, not been the one to drive you.

he handed ella off to you before scooping your bags up in one hand and opening the front door with the other.

"you don't have to carry my bags, mat."

"well, you're carrying my child, so why would i make you carry bags on top of that?"

"you could've carried ella!"

"not when i was planning on carrying your bags! now let's go, you don't want to miss your flight, now do you?"

the three of you headed out to his car and loaded it up. mat placed your bags in the trunk while you strapped ella in before you both hopped in the front and headed towards the airport.

"you excited to see your family again?"

you nodded. "it'll be good to see everyone again."

"you don't have any relatives you'd rather avoid?"

you couldn't help it, a laugh burst out of your mouth without your permission. "actually not this time around but--"

an alert on your phone cut you off.

flight BA4739 has been cancelled due to a mechanical issue.

"you've gotta be shitting me," you said.

mat glanced at you before quickly turning his eyes back to the road. his attention, though, was still on you. "what happened?"

"my flight's cancelled."

mat eased into the right lane and began the drive to the apartment. "are there any flights you can catch?"

you were a step ahead of him, checking every possible flight out of jfk and shaking your head when you came up empty handed. "it doesn't look like it." you sighed and pressed your head against the head rest. "god, i'm sorry mat. i know your family is coming in tomorrow and this puts a dent in things."

he scoffed. "it's fine, just means they'll have to get a hotel, but i can take care of that easy."

your eyes shot open. "mat, don't put them in a hotel, i can find someone to stay with."

"i'm not kicking you out of our home. that's ridiculous."

you clenched your jaw to keep it from dropping at his statement. mat said it so plainly, it was almost like it wasn't a big deal.

"mat--"

"listen, you're not going to a hotel, that's final. when we get home, we'll check for the next flight out and i'll buy the tickets."

"you don't have to--"

"consider it my christmas present to you," he said like there weren't presents under the tree with your name carefully written on them.

you rolled your eyes, but there was a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

when the three of you got back to the apartment, you grabbed ella while mat took the bags. the second you three were settled, you were pulling out your laptop and double checking for flights. when you couldn't find anything, you sighed and resigned yourself to a white christmas in new york.

day sixty-nine

you and ella were dancing to christmas music in the living room when the barzals came in through the door.

"let me see my grandbaby!" nadia said, dropping her purse on the couch.

you handed ella over immediately, though you hung around for a second to see if she would cry. but ella just smiled and stuck a fist in her mouth.

liana came through next, hugging you briefly before turning her attention to her niece.

a man who you'd never met but knew to be mat's father walked in carrying bags of his own with mat following behind him. you fully expected to be bypassed in favor of ella, and you wouldn't even blame him. but he stopped in front of you and placed the bags on the ground at his feet. with a heavy hand he'd placed on your shoulder, mike barzal began to speak.

"thank you," he said. "thank you for taking care of my son and my grandchild. when we heard the news, my wife and i were trying to figure out what to do, but then mat called a few days later and sang your praises." he squeezed your shoulder gently. "i can't tell you how much it means to us knowing that you're here taking care of ella and helping mat."

you managed a smile, not really having the words to communicate how much having mat and ella has changed your life.

mike squeezed your shoulder one more time before walking over to where his wife and daughter stood.

mat approached you next, the bags he carried in were resting by the door.

"i can sleep on the couch, or go out and buy an air mattress and sleep in ella's room," you said. "just say the word."

mat rolled his eyes and elbowed you lightly. "quit it. this is your home too, i'm not kicking you out."

"i hope i didn't hear you offering to vacate your room," nadia turned around and faced you, quirking an eyebrow. "we're not going to make you leave."

"you wouldn't be making me do anything, i'm offering--"

"and we're denying the offer," she said matter of factly. "there's a nice hotel not too far from here."

"i don't want to split up your family for christmas!"

nadia approached and with the arm not holding ella, she reached out and squeezed your hand. "sweetheart, you've been taking care of my babies, you're family to me now."

you swallowed the lump in your throat.

"i'm sorry you don't get to spend christmas with your family," she started. "but i'm glad i get to watch you open the presents we got you in real time."

your jaw dropped. "mrs. barzal you didn't have to--"

she shook her head. "you deserve to be appreciated, sweetheart." then she directed her attention to ella. "isn't that right, baby?"

liana turned her attention to you. "are you going to the game tonight?"

you shook your head. "i'm going to grace's to help with last minute decorations for the team christmas party."

"are you taking ella?"

you shrugged. "i figured i'd leave that up to you. i can take her if you'd rather focus on the game and not a cranky baby.

nadia pressed kisses to ella's cheeks, enough that the little girl shrieked with laughter. "let's play it by ear, if she's cranky before the game, she can go with you, if that's alright."

you smiled and nodded.

as the day went on, ella stayed in pretty high spirits, even when mat left to head to the arena. she took a lengthy nap which gave nadia enough confidence to take her to the game. you ubered to grace's house, a secret that was meant to stay between you and liana, who saw you ordering the ride.

you arrived at grace's house five minutes before the puck dropped. in true hockey wife fashion, she had the game pulled up in the living room so you could watch while you worked. sydney's daughters were camped out in front of an ipad, watching bluey while their mom came in and out of the room with bags of groceries. grace's daughters, you were told, were already in bed.

"where's the baby?" winnie asked when she saw you.

you couldn't help yourself and laughed. "she's at the game."

"why aren't you with her?"

you smiled and squatted down to look her in the eye. "her grandparents are watching her, so i came over here to help."

winnie furrowed her brows, scrutinizing you. "but you're her mom, you're supposed to be with her. my mom is always with me."

"i'm not ella's mom, winnie. i'm her babysitter. like when your parents go out sometimes and they have a babysitter watch you? that's my job."

"then where's her mom?"

you opened and closed your mouth a few times before you realized the words just failed you. there was no way to say the truth other than plainly.

so you shrugged and said "i don't know."

sydney and grace rounded the corner and smiled when they saw you, greeting you with hugs.

"so it shouldn't take too long," grace started. "we're just adding a few decorations, sydney's gonna help me in the kitchen with prepping some of the food for christmas." her attention turned to you. "do you think you can handle the decorations around the house? it should just be the downstairs and the railings up to the second floor. nothing too extravagant."

you looked at the totes of decorations numbering in three total on the floor. "i can do that," you said.

grace smiled wide. "thank you, thank you, thank you!"

you smiled back and immediately got to work. it wouldn't take you long, the house was already pretty decorated, but grace had gone about and beyond and insisted on getting stockings for every player's family still in town, which was more than half the team. there was a table in the front entrance where you put the players' stockings and laid them out in neat rows.

on the stockings, there was the last name of the player with names below it being members of their family. marty's had sydney's, winnie's, and alice's name below his own. sorokin's just had his own name. but you hesitated when you pulled mat's out of the tote.

barzal was in big letters with ella's name underneath.

and then your own.

you blinked over and over, thinking maybe you were hallucinating.

"i hope i didn't overstep!" grace's voice startled you out of your stupor. "when mat told me you were staying in town for the holiday, i went ahead and added your name. do you know if his parents and sister are joining us?"

you shook your head. the plan was you'd be with the barzals christmas eve and christmas morning, but christmas night, when you went to the lee's house, nadia, mike, and liana would stay back. as far as you heard, anders had extended the invitation, but they declined it, not wanting to impose.

grace nodded. "okay, sounds good then!" she made a move to walk away but stopped when she saw the look on your face. you weren't quite sure what she was seeing from her perspective, but your mind was racing and your feet felt like lead. "are you okay? you seem in your head."

you shrugged. "just trying to figure things out."

"is everything okay with mat? you two seemed fine not too long ago."

and you were. but you hadn't told sydney or grace about how you slept in the same bed as mat the night you ran into your ex. and you weren't going to share that now. they'd both read into it, think things were different than they actually were.

"i just miss my family," you said.

it was clear she didn't believe you, but thankfully, grace let it go. she walked back to the kitchen while you continued to lay out the stockings.

you finished with the stockings shortly after, not sparing another glance to the one with your name on it.

it took another thirty minutes to finish the decorating before you joined grace and sydney in the kitchen. you took a seat at the bar and watched them prepare some of the dishes for christmas. it was mostly just chopping and putting things into pans and oven safe dishes.

you were halfway listening to the chatter happening between the wives when your phone buzzed.

liana told me you ubered to anders'?

mat.

you texted back, a small smile on your face. sydney was already here, i didn't have a ride otherwise.

could've asked me to drop you off.

two hours early? no thanks.

well, stay there until the game is over. i'm picking you up.

you rolled your eyes, but still couldn't keep yourself from smiling.

"what's mat saying now?" sydney asked.

"huh?" you asked, head snapping up to see two smirking blondes staring back at you.

"mat," grace said. "what did he say?"

"how did you--"

"you only smile like that with him," sydney explained. "certainly never smiled like that around your ex, the one time i saw him with you."

at the mention of jason, your stomach churned, but you kept up appearances.

you, grace, and sydney were chatting on the couches when the front door opened with matt, anders, and mat walking in. winnie, who was originally dozing off, popped up from laying on the couch to see her father standing there. she smiled and ran over to him.

anders walked in the living room and kissed his wife.

which just left you and mat, staring at each other across the room and not saying a word.

"how was the game?" sydney asked.

all three of the hockey players shrugged in unision. "fine," anders said before collapsing on the couch next to his wife. "how was your night?"

grace looked at you and sydney before smiling and turning to her husband. "i'd say it was productive and fun." you and sydney hummed in response.

matt came and sat next to his wife and a sleeping alice who was in sydney's arms. which just left an empty spot next to you and mat who was still standing in the doorway.

"barzy, you gonna come sit or stand there awkwardly?" anders chirped.

almost like he was snapped out of a daze, mat walked over and took the seat next to you, leaving about four inches between your hips and his. almost immediately, he threw his arm over the back of the couch behind your head.

you turned and looked at him for a moment, forgetting about the other people in the room. "ella with your parents?"

he nodded. "i offered to take her, but my mom insisted on putting her down."

"did you score at all tonight?"

he grinned and nodded yet again, but it was marty who cut him off.

"should've seen him! two goals, one assist."

your jaw dropped as you looked back at mat. "that's insane!" he immediately beamed at your reaction. your eye contact was broken up when his phone vibrated. mat's face twisted into a frown before he stood up and offered you a hand.

"hate to rush off, but my mom just said ella keeps crying and won't go to sleep, so we gotta go."

marty and sydney stood to their feet, each carrying a child. "we should also be heading out," matt said. anders and grace stood up a beat later, offering to walk all of you to the door.

matt and sydney exited first, with you and mat trailing behind them. mat's hand rested lightly on your lower back, something that had your knees trembling.

grace and anders hugged all of you goodbye and promised to see you in two days. they stood on the front porch and watched as all of you got into your respective cars.

mat didn't say anything until he was pulling out of the neighborhood. unlike the times before, the silence wasn't tense or awkward, it was just calm.

"did you have fun?" he asked.

"yeah, it was nice seeing them outside of hockey games and bar meet ups." you yawned.

"missed you at the game, it wasn't quite the same without you there."

"you scored twice and assisted on one goal, i'd say you did fine without me."

"could've gotten a hat trick if you were there."

you furrowed your brows, but there was a small smile playing at the edges of your lips. this felt normal, like nothing had changed, just you and mat. "how do you figure?"

he shrugged. "i always play better when you're there."

you almost did it. you almost asked him why. but you were scared of the answer, scared of what it would change.

scared that it wouldn't change a thing.

he's not gonna fall in love with you.

it was only a matter of minutes before you were back at your apartment. the two of you took the elevator to get to your floor.

you could hear ella's cries through the front door as mat hastened to unlock it. the second the door was open, every head turned towards the two of you. mat shut the door while you walked over to where liana was holding a crying ella.

ella immediately reached out for you, rubbing at her eyes when she finally settled on your hip. "sorry," you apologized to mat's family.

"what're you apologizing for, sweetheart?" nadia asked. she squeezed your arm before ushering her family to the front door. "we need to get to our hotel and get some rest. we'll see you three tomorrow."

"bye mom," mat kissed his mother's cheek and hugged liana and mike before walking them to the door and locking it behind them.

you stared at him, even as he turned around and made eye contact with you. you finally noticed a line on his forehead that you missed earlier.

you gestured to your own forehead. "you have a line right here..." you trailed off.

mat reached up a hand and felt for it before rolling his eyes. "it's from my helmet, dumbass."

you gasped and covered the one ear of ella's that wasn't pressed against your collarbone. "in front of the baby?"

"you said worse two days ago when you hit your hip on the kitchen counter."

you rolled your eyes, which seemed to be a recurring theme between the two of you that night. "i'm gonna try to take the queen to bed, wish me luck."

"i can put her down if you want," he said but you were already walking down the hallway and waving him off.

it took twenty minutes to settle ella down enough to go to sleep, and by the time you hit your mattress, you were out like a light.

day seventy-one

you woke up when the sunlight peeked through the blinds. your heart immediately shot to your throat when you realized you couldn't hear ella's sound machine through the baby monitor. the panic didn't settle when you turned over and realized it was off.

you jumped out of bed, barely remembering to throw on a sweatshirt over your tank top, and threw the door open.

you were immediately greeted with the sound of christmas music coming from the kitchen. it wasn't until you rounded the corner and saw mat making eggs with ella on his hip that you finally relaxed.

mat turned around at the sound of your heavy panicked breathing. his brows were furrowed and he moved the pan off the stove when he saw you were winded. "are you okay?"

"the monitor was off, i'm so sorry i thought i turned it on last night but i forgot--"

"i turned it off this morning," mat said. "figured you deserved a chance to sleep in."

ella smiled at seeing you and reached for you. mat didn't hesitate to walk her over, probably to make it easier to cook breakfast. you took ella and cherished the snuggles she gave you.

"when is your family coming over?"

mat tapped his phone, presumably to check the time or his texts. "fifteen minutes or so?"

you spared a glance outside. "will they be okay in the snow?"

"uh oh, mama bear's coming out," he teased. "we're literally from canada, my family will be fine."

you nodded, feeling heat crawl up your neck at the slight overreaction and concern.

the three of you sat at the table, eating the eggs and sausage mat made. normally, when you were with your family, you'd eat homemade cinnamon rolls, but maybe this year was about changing traditions and embracing them.

you picked up your phone and called your mom, waiting for her to answer. when she didn't pick up, you just shot her a quick "merry christmas" text and telling her to call you back when she gets the chance, that you couldn't wait to see her tomorrow.

by the time the three of you finished breakfast, his family was knocking at the door, greeting the three of you with an excited "merry christmas" when mat opened the door. while they got settled, you took ella out of the high chair and carried her into the living room.

you sat on the floor in front of the recliner and plopped ella in your lap while mike and nadia brought their wrapped presents in. mat and liana were the ones to pass them all out while their parents got situated on one end of the couch.

you were surprised to see some presents for you written in handwriting you knew did not belong to mat, part of you fully expecting nadia to have been bluffing two days ago.

when the presents were passed out, mat took the seat behind you in the recliner, even going as far as to let you lean against his shin for support.

"now, i don't know how you do it in your family, but in the barzal family, we going youngest to oldest, and we record everything," mike said, holding his phone up. "our sweet ella, though, is the first person to take away liana's long standing reign over opening presents first."

mat got out of the recliner, choosing to sit on the floor on your left, seemingly to help ella open her presents. you scooted back to use the recliner as back support now that mat was sitting next to you.

you heard a beep, presumably of mike's camera starting to record.

"let's open this one, ella bean," mat said to his daughter. he started ripping it at the edge, carefully placing the present in front of her and waiting to see if she did anything with it.

ella stared at it, but otherwise seemed uninterested

"look ella," you said, reaching around her and tugging the paper a little more.

she was uninterested until she heard the distinct sound of ripping. then she tried it for herself, laughing and clapping her hands when it made the noise she liked.

her first present was a puzzle made up of the letters of her name from liana. her next present was from nadia and mike, a box of playpen balls. you couldn't wait to open them, to get her settled in her playpen with them and watch her entertain herself.

mat helped her open the books everyone had bought her. he must've told his family she'd gotten into reading lately, because you weren't the only one contributing to her library.

mat's present to ella was a walker. she'd started crawling a few weeks ago, and mat was determined to get her to start walking before the end of the year.

your last present was the last one for her to open. it was just in a gift bag, and ella thoroughly enjoyed taking the tissue paper out once she got a hang of it. but nothing could've prepared you for the shriek that left her mouth when she saw the stuffed hippo.

you didn't think you'd ever seen her smile that big.

she reached for it with grabby hands, bringing it to her chest when she got it.

"guess we know her favorite gift," mat chuckled.

the rest of the morning was filled with the other presents being opened. you ended the morning with cute sweaters and a barzal jersey.

"so you can stop wearing mat's," liana had said. "figured you'd at least want something clean to wear to games."

mat had mumbled something under his breath, but when you asked him to repeat himself, he just pressed a kiss to the top of ella's head and kept his mouth shut.

when it was mat's turn to open gifts, you could feel yourself flush with embarrassment when he opened your gift. you didn't know the platonic way of saying "i got this because it would bring out your eyes," so you settled with "i thought you'd like it."

and he did, he swore it would be the tie he'd wear in the first game of the new year when you got back in town.

nadia made a wonderful christmas lunch. it was light because she knew you were going to the lee's in a matter of hours, but still better than anything mat could've cooked up.

it wasn't long before the three of you were saying your goodbyes with mike, nadia, and liana all promising to come see you soon, and to thank you for taking care of their newest addition.

just like any other time the three of you left the apartment, you carried ella while mat grabbed the diaper bag.

ella sat in her car seat, snuggling her hippo while mat drove.

"you must be pretty proud of yourself for that hippo gift," he said.

you smiled at him, reveling in the way he'd occasionally take his eyes off the road to look at you. "i am. i have an extra one in my closet just in case this one gets messed up."

his jaw dropped. "you're a fucking genius."

you weren't the last ones to get to anders' and grace's house, but you surely weren't the first. there was a line of cars parked on the street, none of which you recognized.

"are we taking the car seat inside?" you asked when mat put the car in park.

his hand paused over the door handle. "do you think we should?"

you shrugged. "we could always come back out and get it if we need it. but i'm willing to bet that she's gonna be passed around like a hot potato tonight."

mat rolled his eyes but sighed anyway. "as long as dobson doesn't hold her, it'll be fine." with that, he got out of the car and opened the back door to grab the bag.

"wait why?" you asked, getting out and unbuckling ella. "what's wrong with dobson?"

"he's like 23!"

you blinked. "am i missing something? why is that a problem?"

"he's too young to hold her, he'd do something dumb like drop her."

you rolled your eyes as you picked ella up, but said nothing.

the three of you were immediately accosted by christmas music and food smells when you walked through the front door of the lee house.

"you made it!" grace exclaimed, coming out of the living room to greet you. "grab your stocking and head to the couches, i think my husband is gonna do a toast and then we'll get started on dinner."

you nodded along and turned to look at mat who hadn't said anything. your heart dropped straight to your toes when you saw him pick up the stocking that made your mind go blank the other night. his fingers traced over his last name, then ella's name, then yours. he hesitated on yours though, fingers running over it like it was something delicate.

it felt weird to watch that moment, like you were intruding on something private, but before you could look away, he looked up at you. "did you see this?" he asked.

you nodded. "saw it the other night. are you mad?"

he quickly shook his head. "nope. just caught off guard." he glanced back down at the stocking before looking up at you and smiling. "let's get on with this, shall we?"

the night started with anders toasting to the team, but more importantly the wives and girlfriends and support behind each member who'd played a large role whether they realized it or not.

mat nudged you at that moment, which earned him an elbow in the side and a wink from anthony who stood next to him.

when they broke off for dinner, mat offered to take ella so you could get your plate first, but you declined, saying you could wait a few more minutes.

while he was gone, sydney approached. "so, how was this morning? get caught up under any mistletoe?" she nudged you. "get any sentimental gifts?"

when you thought about it, you didn't really. the gifts you got, while amazing, weren't tear jerking, which was surprising considering sydney had said mat's gift to you was thoughtful.

but what was thoughtful about a spa gift card and some bath bombs?

"nope, just the typical gifts, you know?"

sydney's face twisted a little before it righted itself when mat came back with a plate of food.

"got you what i thought you'd like," he said, handing the plate to you.

your brows furrowed. "i thought we agreed you'd eat first."

but he smirked. "no, you did."

"mathew. go eat!"

he shook his head. "not before you. now, let's trade, i'll take my child and you take the plate and go eat with sydney and the other wives if you want." mat handed the plate to sydney before taking ella and walking away before you could say anything.

you watched him walk away for a moment before turning to your friend, only to find her already looking at you. "what?"

she had a smirk for reasons you weren't sure you wanted to know about. "oh nothing."

the night continued on without much fanfare, with you and mat leaving around the same time as the martins again because of the children all three of you brought.

you'd made it back home before midnight. mat this time, wanted to put ella to bed, making sure to leave the hippo out of her crib.

you were in your room packing the last bit of your things so you could leave tomorrow and fly home. you were in the zone until you heard a throat being cleared. when you turned around, mat was leaning up against the doorway with a box in his hand.

"i know you're probably tired, but i have one last present for you."

"mat--"

"i didn't want to give it to you in front of my parents and liana, just seemed too personal." he offered no other explanation and just handed you the box.

you took it carefully, going to your bed and sitting down on the edge to open the present. when you pulled the lid off the box, you were staring at tissue paper until you pulled it away to reveal a photo album.

oh god.

it was the thoughtful present sydney had talked about.

you immediately pulled it out of the box and started flipping through it. the photos were some you'd never seen before, but they were all of you and ella. until you got further in, the photos went from just you and ella to you, mat, and ella.

you looked like a proper family.

sydney or grace must've had a hand in it, because half the photos you didn't remember being taken and they were all candids.

you could feel your eyes water, you noticed the pressure. but you kept wiping at your face to prevent them from falling onto the album itself.

you looked up at mat who looked the most unsure of himself since that first night he had ella. "i hope it wasn't over stepped, i just figured you would like to see how important you are to me, to us, me and ella." he gestured at the book. "some of the photos i took, others i got from grace and syd. i hope it's not weird or anything--"

but you were already up and crossing the room towards him.

a beat later you grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled his lips to yours.

he responded not even a split second later, his mouth moving against yours. mat's arms came around your waist while your hands made a home in his hair.

was kissing always supposed to be this charged? to feel this right?

you had no idea how long you stood there, kissing mat, before you both pulled away to breathe. your eyes opened slowly, only to meet his hazel irises almost immediately.

and then reality hit you.

jason's words haunting you at just the right time.

he's not gonna fall in love with you. you're a no good bitch who didn't know what she had when she had it.

you pulled away instantly and stumbled back into your room, dodging mat's hold when he tried to reach out for you.

"what's going on?" he asked. "what just happened?"

you shook your head and grabbed your bag, moving past him without making contact. "this was a mistake," you said. "i have to go."

god you felt sick to your stomach.

mat was calling your name, but you kept walking, out the front door, down the stairs, and onto the street where you hailed a taxi.

it wasn't until you got in that you exhaled.

what the fuck had you done?

taglist:

@nicoleloveshockey @thg02 @fallinallincurls @bbbbruins @random-readers-world @sydsxoxo @jhughesy @whenmypartysover @sunflowerhood @spencereidbasis @icanfsplel @avareadsthings @zegraswrites @matthewkniesys @heyitsmeimdead @kashee-h @bordelhoe @diary-of-jj @literatureluster @dani746 @barzyblogbabe @tomhollandsbabymama @wickedlovely121 @coldheartedmar @oh-my-ladymay @heartsforhischier @brrbrina @sebsfeverdream @cathamnsns-diary @coldheartedmar @wickedlovely121

[bonesxbows]

Colors of the Underdark (Astarion x Reader)

My Masterlist

A trip to the Underdark goes south and you're left with no light source. Your human eyes become useless and you start to panic. You're terrified of the dark and there's nothing but darkness around you down here. Astarion can tell and can actually see you start to panic. He tries his best to comfort you.

(WARNINGS) - Descriptions of the dark - Descriptions of fear - Anxious feelings - Descriptions of a panic attack

I'm still trying to get a sense of writing his character, this is my first attempt so pls be nice if it's bad. This was also written over the course of a couple of days so sorry if it's a bit choppy. The idea came from the fact that humans are like one of the few species that don't have dark vision. I'm also afraid of the dark so it's a tad self-indulgent lol. Hopefully, you still enjoy it, reblogs are much appreciated :)

-

A sudden gust of wind blew your burning torch to mere embers, encasing you and your party in pure and utter darkness. The only source of light anywhere around was the few glowing mushrooms miles away, but the only thing they did was remind you of the cavern system that surrounded you, threatening to suffocate you at a moment's notice.

“Fuck…fuck!” You screamed, your heart immediately beginning to sputter and race.

“Relax darling, it's just a little darkness, nothing to worry over.” His voice was relaxed, calm, collected, and in control. Every emotion opposite of what you were feeling.

“Relax?! Are you insane? We need to get out of here, now!” Your voice was laced with panic and you were beginning to hyperventilate.

“Are they okay?” You could hear Gale ask, although the answer he was looking for was very much apparent. Astarion was starting to worry, though he didn’t let the others see. He didn't answer Gale and instead barked an order.

“Set up camp, we’ll stay here for the time being.” He told him.

“But-”

“It's not up for debate and I didn't ask for your opinion nor your advice. Go.”

Gale scoffed but did as he was told and Shadowheart followed him without any comment. You were now on your knees scratching the head of your torch on the rocky ground, desperately trying to spark it alight again. As soon as Gale and Shadowheart were out of earshot Astarion kneeled next to you and his confident exterior fell away to sadness. The sight of you being so scared and desperate broke his heart. Of course, he could see every detail around him easily, even the crease of your brow as you concentrated on your futile task. He couldn’t imagine what your perspective as a human was like; was it pure pitch black? Could you still see the outlines of your surroundings? Did you even sense him near you? Trying to put himself in your shoes reminded him of his punishment of being locked inside that mausoleum so many years ago and he hated that feeling. Most of all he hated the idea of you experiencing that same amount of fear.

“Darling? Can you look at me?” He asked you in a soft voice. You didn't reply and he could now see tears start to flood your face. His frown deepened and so he reached forward and grabbed the torch out of your hands before you started to scrape the tips of your fingers raw. Your fingernails were already suffering from the constant friction. You practically jumped out of your skin from his unexpected interference. “I'm sorry my sweet but you're starting to hurt yourself. This torch is beyond dead anyway, beating it against the ground won't do you any good.” He tossed it aside and both of you could hear the wood bounce against the stone ground with a hollow clunk. You stared right at him, whether you realized you were doing so or not, and your face tore a new hole in his undead heart; you were seriously frightened, tears stained your face, and your eyes took no hesitation in replacing them with fresh ones. You were visibly shaking and you were constantly blinking, no doubt trying to find any sense of purchase of your surroundings.

“Astarion…”

“Yes?”

“I can't see you.”

“I know darling.”

“I'm afraid of the dark.”

You spoke in whispers, he almost didn't hear your confession. For once he was glad you couldn't see him, his first reaction was shock and it showed on his face. You were so fearless in battle, nothing scared you then, and you were always so confident in your actions, nothing like the person in front of him now. How could someone like you be so afraid of something so non-threatening? You continued to stare at him, tears still streaming down your face. He could hear your heartbeat start to speed up even faster.

“Astarion…? Are you…are you still there?” Your voice was scratchy from fear. His eyes widened as he realized what he had inadvertently done; his delay in response had given you the impression that he had gotten up and left you all alone. He quickly remedied his mistake by reaching out and grasping your hands in his, again making you jump out of your skin from the sudden unexpected contact. He silently cursed himself for scaring you again, he'd get better at this one day he promised himself, but immediately your heart began to calm down slightly from his cool touch.

“I'm here my sweet, I won't leave you.” You breathed a sigh of relief and you let go of one of his hands, fumbling it around to find his shoulder. He stayed still, letting you find him through touch and letting you get a sense of your surroundings by comparing your location to his. He wanted to laugh, your hand movements were adorable, like a puppy using its nose to find food, but he held his tongue. He didn't want to make this moment any more uncomfortable for you than it already was. It took you a minute but eventually, you grasped his shoulder.

“Can I…can I come closer?” You asked. He couldn't help but smile at your timid question. You were still shaking with fear but yet you still remembered to ask before touching him in any intimate way.

“Oh, my love…how could I say no to you? Come here, I’ll help you.” As you began to scoot closer to him he moved his hands to your upper arms to guide you, pulling you in the right direction towards him. You fumbled a bit but he helped you settle in his lap, nestled in between his legs with his arms wrapped around you. You were facing away from him, but you didn't mind this time, you couldn't see his face anyway regardless in the darkness. You could sense his arms around your waist and you could feel his cold hands on your stomach even through your armor. Your surroundings were still nothing but pitch black from your perspective, but the feeling of his body pressed up against yours helped start to calm your frazzled nerves. You couldn't see him, you couldn't see anything, but you knew you were safe with him. He was being your eyes and he would protect you when you couldn't protect yourself. You leaned back into him and he tightened his arms around you, giving you a reassuring squeeze.

“You're safe with me darling. The darkness can’t hurt you.” He whispered into your ear. The trust you had built with each other was enough for you to let yourself believe him. Your body had started to return to normal, your breathing was becoming even and your heart rate was turning into a steady rhythm.

“Where are the others?” you asked. You had no sense if they were even still around, you still couldn't see anything and you couldn't hear them either, but you assumed Astarion could.

“Don't worry your sweet little head about them, they're alright.” As soon as he finished his sentence a faint orange glow lit up the nearby area. You had stayed as still as possible so far but your head whipped in the direction of the new source of light as soon as it appeared. Your hair brushed against Astarion’s face aggressively when you turned, but he was too relieved to mind. He could feel the tension melt from your body. He watched as you forcefully blinked, adjusting your eyes from the pitch darkness to the now faint light. The rest of the party had finally sparked the campfire and they were now preoccupied with trying to roast something over it. You turned back to Astarion and caught the slightest hint of a smile on his face.

“Are you alright? Better now with the light?” he asked, moving one of his hands to push a strand of your hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear. You nodded, grateful he had stayed with you.

“Can I…um…” your words were failing you again but you glanced down at his lips and he understood. His smile grew a little wider.

“Of course my love.”

You were quick. He barely had time to react before the force of you sent you both tumbling backward. Your lips crashed into his and your hands grasped his shoulders, holding on to him like a lifeforce. Once he had balanced the two of you again he gently grabbed your face, deepening the kiss and teasingly nicking your bottom lip with his fangs. You retreated after he did so, but you were smiling. You placed your forehead against his and stared into those ruby eyes you loved. He returned the same look of admiration and love.

“Thank you,” you told him. He pecked your lips again.

“You don't always need me to protect you, but I most certainly will whenever I can. Nothing will harm you while I'm around. Not here in the Underdark, nor anywhere else. I love you too much to let anything happen to you.”

[hogwartslegacyreactions2]

HLC REACT TO FINDING OUT THEY'RE IN A VIDEO GAME

A/N: Inspired by The Amazing Digital Circus! Existential dread for everyone!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

WARNING: ANGST, existentialism, panic attacks, anxiety

MC and their favorite companion were battling goblins when it happened. A red barrel chain reaction had debris and enemies flying and the companion was caught in the collision crossfire. They hit a rock at just a weird enough angle that their body started ragdolling out of control. They spun and twisted out of sight and before they could process what was happening, they were falling.

Falling...

Falling...

The world above vanished. They landed hard on flat ground, the wind knocked out of them. Upon eventually standing, they found themselves in some sort of corridor. Gridded walls too high to see over opened to darkness above. There was no sight or sound of MC or goblins or trees or birds or....anything.

Tentatively, they called out. Their voice was swallowed by the opressive silence. They tried their wand. Nothing happened. So they walked the seemingly endless blank corridor until they came to an opening.

A massive room filled with statues. Some tall, some short, some human, some not. The companion gets closer, then freezes. These weren't statues. They were people and beasts and objects they recognized, all standing perfectly still in neat little rows like chess pieces.

SEBASTIAN SALLOW: He's staring into the blank eyes of his own sister. "Anne? What-...where am I? What is this place?" He frantically looks around, he sees teachers and students and shopkeepers and enemies and even his uncle. "Where are my parents?" He dashes through the rows of lifeless assets. "WHERE ARE THEY?" He screams, but no one answers.

He comes to the sudden realization that he's searching for faces he doesn't know. He doesn't know what they look like. He's mentioned his parents, he's missed his parents, he's mourned his parents, HOW COULD HE NOT KNOW WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE??

He falls to the ground in a heap. "They're real. I know they're real. I'm real. They're real. This is some curse. I'm dreaming." He starts hyperventilating. "SOMEONE WAKE ME UP!! PLEASE!!"

OMINIS GAUNT: The sudden silence of his surroundings scares him more than the chaos of battle ever has. "MC? Hello? Where are you?" He tries to guide himself along with his wand but it won't activate. He finds the smooth, glass-like wall and follows it.

He finds the opening and runs face first into what feels like a person. "Oh, thank Merlin. Can you help me? I don't know where I am. I'm blind, you see...hello?" He feels the person's arm. They're stiff and cold like the dead yet standing upright. "What?" He reaches out and finds another person, then another and another. All the same.

The silence in the darkness made his breath feel heavy. Wherever he was, felt wrong. Was he dead? Is this what dying felt like? Was this all there was beyond the world he knew? Was this the fate that awaited everyone or just him? Destined to suffer in spaces unknown with no guide and no familiar presence?

He sat down and curled his knees to his chest. His mind spun with questions as his surroundings felt less and less real. Was he even real?

ANNE SALLOW: She covered her mouth in shock. Slowly, she turned in place to take in all the things she thought she knew were real lifelessly staring back at her. She stared at herself the longest. Her life, her memories, her pain....none of it was real. Her suffering didn't matter. She was a pawn. A plot device.

She keeled over and vomited. She coughed and blinked the tears out of her eye to watch what came out of her started to pixelate and vanish. She stared wide eyed at the ground and started to shake. "I'm...real." her voice weak in the oversized room. "I'm. Real. I AM real." She threw her head up and screamed into the void above. "I'M REAL!" She glared defiantly upward into nothingness. She didn't know who she was shouting to, but she hoped they heard.

IMELDA REYES: Her dreams, her aspirations, her future... There was no life beyond Hogwarts. Everything in this room was all that existed. The world was just an amalgamation to be constructed and deconstructed at will. She wasn't special, she didn't matter, she was just another piece.

She had never bothered to think about it much before, but what mattered to her outside of brooms and racing? Did she have other genuine interests? Did she know who she was?

She laughs. A cold, humorless laugh echoes out of her. Nothing mattered. Nothing ever mattered. What was even the point of this confined existence? Who would want to be stuck in a singular place constantly at war? Who would be mad enough to think this is an existence worth creating? She laughs. Laughs until she cries. Laughs into the endless silence. Laughs and laughs and laughs and laughs and laughs....

NATSAI ONAI: She sees everyone except MC. Where were they? Why weren't they in the crowd? "MC!? MC!! CAN YOU HEAR ME??" With no response, she goes to her mother's asset. Even her own mother wasn't real.

Is this why she could never remember the faces of the bandits who killed her father? She always thought it was a memory blackout from trauma. No...it never happened. Matibililand didn't exist. Her home didn't exist.

She sat at her mother's feet and stared at the ground. Her mind couldn't handle the stress and she disassociated. She was as blank and still as the assets surrounding her.

GARRETH WEASLEY: "This isn't happening. This can't really be happening." He stared at his aunt. Her asset blankly stared back. His aunt wasn't real. The professors weren't real. The students weren't real. The dark wizards weren't real. Was Hogwarts even real? Was he??

"THIS ISN'T REAL! I WON'T FALL FOR YOUR TRICKS!" He shouts at no one. He had to believe that this was some sort of hallucination. He could feel. He could think. He was real. He had to be.

Tears welled up in his eyes and he cried out. "LET ME OUT! DO YOU HEAR ME!? LET ME OUT!! ...please..." He hiccuped and wiped his face. "Please .."

LEANDER PREWETT: He fearfully stayed away from the statued people as if they would come alive at any moment. He was too afraid to call out and hid around the corner. Without his wand, he didn't know what to do. He didn't know where he was or how he got there. He felt truly powerless and vulnerable. He'd never felt so small in his life.

His mind refused to accept that this was happening and refused to process the familiar faces. This had to be some sort of dark wizard trick. This couldn't really be happening. Ironically, he refused to play their game. He walked off into the darkness. The corridors had to lead somewhere eventually.

POPPY SWEETING: The missing person that stood out to her was her gran. The most important person in her life, and yet... Where was she? What did she look like? Oh gods, what did she look like?? She grasped the sides of her head as she thought as hard as she could to remember. Her gran's face and voice and home were a blur.

AMIT THAKKAR: He quietly walked through the rows, stopping in front of himself. He looked within himself. He had been so focused on "studies" that he never really thought about his past. Who was he? Where was he from? Who was his family? What were they like?

He had no past. Down here he had no present. Did he ever have a future? Were the stars he looked up to at night even real? He doesn't know how to react. Mental numbness washes over him. He stares emptily at himself for a, long time.

EVERETT CLOPTON: "What is Merlin's name?" He looked around, utterly confused. The reality of his situation didn't hit him immediately as his Ravenclaw logic took over to try and find a way out. He found some brooms, but none of them worked. They just flopped over like a pile of sticks. No wand he tried using worked. No matter how many times he tried poking or prodding any of the people, nobody moved.

He tried running. He charged down a dark corridor only to eventually end up back in the asset room. He tried another corridor, but it too looped around back to where he was. That is when he started to panic.

"There's no way out!" His breaths came quick and shallow. "There's no way out!! SOMEBODY! ANYBODY! HELP ME!" He felt light headed and stumbled to the ground in front of himself. He looked up from his hands and knees. "WHO ARE YOU!?"

She tried to remember farther back; her parents, her childhood! Nothing... No assets were ever created. They weren't real people. Just a page in her backstory. The trauma, the loneliness, the heartache..... None of it really mattered. She didn't matter.

She stood amongst the assets, crying silently. Wherever she was, she wouldn't be found. None would be looking for her. She didn't really exist.

~~~

YOU: Your companion disappeared. Things sometimes get a little glitchy with the companion mod. Looks like you'll have to restart from your last save. No big deal. After all, it's just a game.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Since Easter is coming soon, how about S/O plans a special Easter egg hunt for skeleton. The skeleton has to find a special egg that has a mystery item inside for them!

Main ten plz

Undertale Sans - That sounds like a lot of work but he's doing it for you. He's more enthusiastic about the chocolate eggs though. That's the longest time you've seen him in the yard since you moved in you think. You kinda feel like you're taking your skeleton for a walk :')

Undertale Papyrus - You regret your decision when Papyrus says that you know he likes puzzles and so you obviously didn't make things easy. That's when he takes a shovel and starts digging holes. In the entire yard. You're hyperventilating at this point. The egg is right there, on a very visible spot, but Papyrus said it's too easy and so that it's a trap and he refuses to take it. You're not sure how you're going to explain this to your landlord.

Underswap Sans - He's excited and starts to inspect every corner of the yard. What doesn't help are the chocolate eggs he's eating as he looks for the special egg, which sends him into a sugar rush. Blue has way too much energy now and he starts to have zoomies, randomly running to you, picking you up above his head, and running around with you like this as you hold for dear life. Honey signs a "I told you so" from behind the window.

Underswap Papyrus - He's like a child. He comes running to you, excited, at each egg he finds. He wants to show you. When he finds the special egg, you hear him scream in victory from the other side of the house. Best game ever!

Underfell Sans - What do you think he is? Five? He's too old for this. So what's the gift? He's mad you won't tell him. He's so bad at hunting eggs that he gets frustrated very quickly and keeps asking you to show him the egg already. You refuse. It's not an egg hunt if you don't hunt the eggs.

Underfell Papyrus - You kinda realized Edge never did this before as he runs outside a spear in hand to hunt for the egg. Since he can find it, he calls Undyne for backup. Your two idiots are going to trash the yard, hunting for an invisible enemy, as you're watching in disbelief with Alphys from the patio.

Horrortale Sans - He's not too good at this, but he's having fun. You try to help him a little when you see him search in the same spot for the third time. This little game is actually good for training his memory as well. He's in a good mood all day after this, proud he found all the eggs by himself. Good luck to get him to share now lol. That's his eggs. There's a high chance he's going to hide them somewhere in the house so no one touch them.

Horrortale Papyrus - You say nothing and simply watch as he discovers weird eggs have grown on the trees. Willow is so confused about this and keeps asking if you're seeing this. Who would put chocolate eggs in a tree? That's silly. After finding some in the chicken coop, he grows suspicious though. You didn't do that, did you? You play the innocent one, but you can't fool him for long. He's excited when he learns about Easter, and now he wants to organize an egg hunt for you too!

Swapfell Sans - He can tell the special chocolate egg is very expensive and he's a little embarrassed about it. You shouldn't ruin yourself for him. No, but really. He's not a big fan of chocolate lol. He still going to eat some to please you, but most of it disappears inside of Rus's non-existent stomach. You're pretty sure Rus didn't even notice the difference with his garbage bad-quality chocolate eggs. It's just chocolate.

Swapfell Papyrus - Well, cool, because he did the same inside the house. You two are competing to see who will find all the eggs first. Rus is surprisingly good at this. What he doesn't say though is that his smell is actually more developed than normal so it's not really difficult.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He doesn't understand why would humans hide chocolate in the yard when you can really put them all in a basket on the table. It seems way easier to eat them? He's not going to question it. You can see he's judging you so hard though, and congratulates you every time he finds an egg so you feel contented or something. Humans are so weird.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He's overexcited by this game. He wants Easter to be every day of the year! It rained chocolate in the garden, that's crazy! You hear him scream in excitement every time he finds one. He's so happy!

[phantom-playdough]

MK, Mei, Wukong, Red Son, & Macaque x GN!Reader: Stressed Doggo

Requested by: @nightraveler2

Request Concept: Reader is a human, but transforms into a dog. They cannot do it on command and end up panicking when they do transform. How would the characters above react? Let's find out.

Side note: I ended up adding a detail. I imagined that the reader ended up getting cursed by a non-specified artifact and that is how they transform into a dog, as well as it takes a lot of focus to transform back into a human.

Side note #2: You can pick the dog breed you take the form of, I left it ambiguous.

Wukong:

I feel like he likely be outside of his hut picking peaches when he suddenly hears a loud shriek from inside. His first thought was that a demon had somehow come onto his island and was hurting you. So, with him boiling at the thought, he zoomed into his house. But he paused in shock when he saw his S/O running around in an absolute FRENZY... in the form of a dog. But Wukong had to push his own shock aside to help his S/O try and calm down.

So, he would slowly approach them, picking them up and holding them in his arms. At first, Y/n struggled in his grip, but then they realized it was just Wukong and started to relax in his hold. But they were still scared of course and were beginning to hyperventilate. Wukong hushed and shushed, speaking soft, reassuring words in their now more sensitive but soft ears.

Eventually, Y/n's breathing slowed down and their anxiety calmed down. Wukong took that time to ask, "Y/n, how did you turn into a dog?"

"I don't really know. I was just putting some stuff aside for you to throw out like you asked and I touched some weird looking artifact. Next thing I knew, it started glowing and I transformed into a dog."

Wukong paused as the gears in his head turned, before snapping into place. "Ohhhh, I know which one you're talking about. Welp! Luckily, it's pretty easy to fix. You just have to put a little focus into imagining your normal form and before you know it, you'll transform back!"

"I don't know..."

"Just trust me! C'mon, I know you can do it, Y/n!"

Y/n sighed and took in a deep breath. They then cleared their mind and focused on their human form. Suddenly, a flash of white covered their vision and they slowly opened their eyes to see their hands instead of paws.

They exhaled a breath they didn't know they were holding and hugged Wukong, still sitting sideways in his lap. Wukong laughed a little and wrapped an arm around their waist, kissing the top of their head.

Macaque:

Macaque and Y/n were at the marketplace, intent on spending the day to have fun window-shopping together. But while they were walking around, an odd-looking artifact caught Y/n's eyes. So, they paused their steps to take a closer look at it.

By the time Macaque realized Y/n was no longer by his side and turned around, he saw too late that they had picked up the artifact to hold in one of their hands.

"Y/n! Don't touch that!"

But it was too late, like I said. And the artifact glowed a bright green and by the time Macaque blinked once, Y/n was a dog. They immediately came to the same horrific conclusion and began to panic.

Macaque ran over, picking Y/n up and summoned a portal back to the dojo. Once the pair were back at the dojo, Macaque sat down and held Y/n in his arms.

"It's okay, Y/n. It's okay. Just breathe for me. Just breathe." Macaque said in a soothing voice. He inhaled a deep breath, Y/n following his example and taking a deep breath in as best as they could. After a minute or two of this, Y/n managed to calm down. But they started whining, making Macaque chuckle just a tad bit.

"Shh, shh, shh. Just focus on my voice. Clear your mind, imagine your face. Imagine your human form. Focus on that image. Okay?"

Y/n did as instructed and with a flash of light, they had transformed back into their human form.

After breathing a sigh of relief, they looked at Macaque, a curious expression on their face. "How did you know what to do for me to transform back?"

Macaque looked off to the side sheepishly. "I... may or may not have...experience with those kind of artifacts..."

Y/n paused for a moment. But they busted out into a small fit of laughter. "You ought to tell me that story sometime, Mac."

Macaque rolled his eyes with a poorly hidden smirk. "I don't think so."

"...Thanks."

Red Son:

Red Son had just recently acquired an artifact for a scheme or something for his father. Y/n wasn't sure what the scheme was, but they had to admit the artifact was quite beautiful. But, because it looked so stunning, they just couldn't resist touching it with a finger.

Within no more than a moment, a bright flash of light blinded them and they suddenly were a dog.

"RED!!!!" Y/n screamed. Red Son immediately busted into the lab and immediately froze to see Y/n in the form of a dog.

"Y/n, you peasant!! Why did you touch that artifact!?!" Red Son yelled, but immediately calmed down when he saw Y/n run around in circles because they were in a point of complete panic.

He took a breath and approached his table, grabbing a small screwdriver-looking device. He then walked over to Y/n and pressed the button on the device, making Y/n freeze and start glowing bright yellow. They shut their eyes, bracing themselves for God knows what would happen next.

But when they opened their eyes, Y/n was relieved to see their hands again. Y/n smiled, looking at Red Son before kissing his cheek.

"You're staying out of my lab for a while, you peasant."

MK:

Monkey King had sent MK out to get an artifact for him. MK wasn't really told what Monkey King needed this thing for, but he assumed it was for some scheme or something. Who knew with him, though?

So, Y/n and MK went out on a mission to find the artifact. Luckily, they got it without much issue. (Aside from Y/n almost falling off a cliff.) But while the pair were on their way back to Pigsy's Noodles, Y/n was marveling the artifact when they saw a gemstone set in the middle of the base. Y/n couldn't take their eyes off of it as much as they tried to focus on the street ahead of them.

But, Y/n finally cracked and pressed a single finger against the gemstone, caressing it softly. Suddenly, a blinding light was left piercing through the otherwise dark night sky. MK shielded their eyes from the light, waiting for it to fade. When it finally did, MK opened his eyes to see Y/n much shorter...and hairier than normal.

"Hey, MK...? How come you're suddenly so much taller now?" MK couldn't fight the cringe on his face if they tried. But they didn't have aa chance to explain the fact that their significant other was now a DOG because Y/n caught a reflection of themself in a trashcan.

Right on cue, they shrieked and began running around in circles from blind panic. MK thought quickly and picked Y/n up, before summoning his staff to launch himself over to Pigsy's Noodles. MK all but busted into the establishment to see Tang and Pigsy sitting at one of the booths.

"MK, where did ya get a dog? We aren't--"

"Mr.Tang! Y/n got transformed into a dog by some weird artifact!" MK sped over to Tang and shoved a hyperventilating Y/n Dog Edition into his face.

Tang immediately pulled out a book (Where was he keeping a book?!) and flipped through the pages. Meanwhile, MK was rocking Y/n back and forth in their arms in an attempt to console them. Finally, Tang landed on one page and explained the artifact cursed those who touched the gemstone on it with becoming a random animal.

Tang then explained that the fix was relatively simple. MK would just have to calm Y/n down and help them visualize their human form. MK decided to try just that. Calming them down was relatively easy because there was an explanation as to what was happening. But helping them visualize themselves was a bit more tricky for some reason.

So, MK decided to try a different approach. So, he grabbed his art supplies and began drawing at a neck-breaking pace. They ignored the confused look on Y/n's furry face. Finally, MK turned the page around and showed Y/n a drawing of their human form. They stared at the drawing for a moment or two, before they finally transformed back with another blinding flash of light.

Y/n slowly opened their eyes to only be crushed by MK in a hug.

"Thank you, Xiaotian. I owe you one."

Mei:

Mei set her fork down, looking across the table at her loving S/O eating their food. Y/n caught Mei's eye and swallowed their bite. "What? Do I have something stuck on my face?"

Mei brought a hand to her chin, thinking for a moment. "Yeah, you do. You have SEXY written all over your face!!"

Y/n laughed, not expecting that answer. Mei was the type to stare and not be ashamed for doing so. Not that Y/n minded.

"I actually have something for ya, Y/n." Mei said, pulling a gift bag out of seemingly nowhere.

"Aww! And here I thought we weren't going to get each other gifts."

"You deserve to be splurged! Now open it up, already!" Mei had such a strong amount of cheer that it was almost impossible to not be cheerful when around her.

Y/n peeked into the bag, pulling out a super shiny artifact. "Wow, Mei...where did you get this?! It wasn't too expensive, right?"

"Pssh! NOTHING is too expensive for you. Buuuuut, I found it while I was on an adventure with MK." Mei then immediately pulled her phone out and fired up her livestream. She zoomed around the other side of the table and showed the artifact and Y/n.

"THIS is yet another good look at the beautiful light in front of me. The artifact is nice too!"

"Oh, my God Mei!" Y/n shrieked with a cackle.

But suddenly, the artifact started glowing brightly. Y/n shieled their eyes with an arm while Mei dropped her phone to cover her eyes.

Once the light faded away into nothing, Mei opened her eyes to see a dog.

"M-Mei, why are you so tall?" The dog asked. It was only then that Mei realized that Y/n had turned into a dog.

"HOW DID YOU TURN INTO A DOG!?!?"

"I'M A DOG!?"

Mei's phone dinging at a near constant rate brought them out of her moment of panic.

'Mei, tell them to visualize their human form. That artifact probably was cursed and that can fix it.'

Mei immediately took Y/n into her arms and began rocking them back and forth. They wiggled around at first, but Mei shushed them and whispered, "Just think of your human form. You should transform back if you can picture it."

Y/n did as they were told and before they knew it, another bright light covered the area.

Once the light faded once more, Y/n looked down at their body to luckily see no fur or fluffy dog tail.

Y/n breathed out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Mei."

"No problem, babe."

[erikahenningsen]

fetchen

Who said “I love you” first

This is a tough one because they said I love you to each other all the time well before they started dating and they never stopped. But one day Gretchen did specify that she is in love with Karen and Karen was like... yeah duh.

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background

They definitely both have each other as their phone backgrounds. Gretchen's background is a candid photo she took of Karen laughing that makes her smile every time she looks at it. Karen's background is a selfie they took on Halloween.

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror

Gretchen did it first and Karen was convinced that a ghost had come into the bathroom while she was in the shower.

Who buys the other cheesy gifts

They are in a never-ending cycle of buying each other cheesy/cliche/"just because" gifts. Karen has a massive collection of stuffed animals that Gretchen has given her and they each have a name. Gretchen absolutely loves getting flowers and anytime Karen sees one she'll pick it to give to Gretchen (she's gotten in trouble for stealing from people's gardens multiple times but she didn't realize she couldn't take them).

Who initiated the first kiss

Karen. It was really no big deal for her—just another expression of her love for Gretchen, same as hugging or cuddling or verbally saying that she loves her. She was confused when it took Gretchen by complete surprise.

Who kisses the other awake in the morning

They both do, it just depends who is awake first. Karen likes to pepper little kisses all over Gretchen's face like she does to her cats.

Who starts tickle fights

Karen, although she only did it once because Gretchen immediately started hyperventilating and it scared her.

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower

Karen does it first, and Gretchen was nervous about it because for some reason it feels even more intimate than having sex in their bed. Then Karen washes her hair and massages her scalp and Gretchen forgets to be nervous.

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch

Karen's schedule is more flexible to it's usually her, but they try and meet up for lunch at least once a week, even if it's just eating lunch they brought from home together outside,

Who was nervous and shy on the first date

Gretchen. She is nervous and shy about everything, to be fair. But she had never been on a date with anyone but Jason, and those were unpleasant for everyone involved, so she worried that she wouldn't know how to make sure Karen had a good time. But Karen has a good time everywhere, especially when she's with Gretchen.

Who kills/takes out the spiders

Gretchen is absolutely terrified of spiders but Karen will cup them in her bare hands to take outside.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk

They already loudly proclaim their love for each other when they're sober and it's even louder when they're drunk. Gretchen will just pet Karen's hair and tell her every single thing she loves about her.

Send a ship

[heartsoji]

being the inarizaki vb club's precious manager hcs

summary: you sign up to be the boys vb team manager bc like why not you'd prob get some good organization skills but you end up gaining some bffs, some bruises, and a whole crew of bodyguards

warnings: a liiiiiittle bit of swearing and mentions of harassment also its not proofread

you signed up to be the manager for the boy's vb team not knowing what it would be like

it was ur second year of high school and u had quit abt 7 clubs bc they just weren't that interesting

not like in a mean way like "ugh! this is too boring for my tastes smh" but just it didn't have any appeal so u smiled and resigned with no hard feelings yk

IT WASNT LIKE A SALTY QUIT U JUST COULDNT FIND ANYTHING THAT WAS FUN AND THAT U WERE PASSIONATE ABT I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH ITS NOT LIKE THAT GIRL'S HOST HOPPING THING FROM OURAN

tbh u just didn't rly know what other club to sign up for and the boys vb team needed a manager soo..

they honestly should have just put "babysitting some brats that are somehow the same age" instead of "managing the boy's volleyball team"

they are so protective of you lol

like this one time you let out a little scream bc some random teacher touched your no-no square in a very intentional way

the vb team was THERE in 2 seconds flat

kita stares at him intensely while holding back the twins by their shirt to keep them from quite literally MURDERING THAT MAN

aran calms down ginjima and akagi who literally just start hyperventilating

suna stares at him. hard.

the twins who are unable to attack him just scream

"WHAT. DID. YOU. DO. TO. OUR. MANAGER U FUCKING JACKASS" etc

the teacher got fired the next day funny coincidence huh ?

ANYWAYS

kita is actually helpful

he's canonically good at keeping ur fellow second years in check so lucky u !

hes also rly organized and tidy which is v helpful !

aran is such a sweetie

helps u out in any way that he can

also acts a pillow to some of kita's blunt blows

like "he means that he's sorry bc he realized that he seems kinda unappreciative of ur efforts sometimes" when kita says smth like "sorry for not saying nice words to you"

a translator for kita, basically

akagi shares ur puppy energy so the two of u get along rly well

ur both friendly ppl so its a v sweet and wholesome relationship

u sometimes have to stop gin from making bad decisions but ugs get along well

also ugs r both second years so ur classes r on the same floor so u see each other in school sometimes

as for the main 3 brats AKA some of your fellow second years who somehow become ur new bffs

atsumu is SUCH A FLIRT but like jokingly bc that's just how he is yk

always talking to you and annoying you like atsumu would u just like stfu pls and thanks

osamu is constantly slapping atsumu to provoke him (which is so stupid tbh but works every single time lmao)

is always eating like u turn around during class and he's just eating an onigiri behind his folder 😐

ugs like to gang up on atsumu its a great bonding activity

you and suna r sleep buddies bc u both r so sleep-deprived

well suna's just a sleepy person but u r sleep deprived so ugs will sleep side-by-side during free periods

suna always forgets his lunch so u've learned to pack extra for him

you let him sleep on ur lap and he lets u sleep in his

when the four of u take buses or trains to hang out u and suna always sit next to each other so that ugs can fall asleep on each other

if ur up for it he'll cuddle with u platonically

bc ppl r great body pillows and a good source of warmth

only if ur comfy with it tho ofc

the twins (mostly atsumu but a bit of osamu) will tease ugs abt being a couple but both of ugs just roll ur eyes and go back to sleep lmao

you ended up staying to be their manager for the rest of high school bc of how much fun it is

[honeysuckleharringtons]

Part Six: "Full City Roast" ~ S. Harrington

Summary: (Then) Valentine's Day has arrived, but unfortunately for Reader, it doesn't seem like much love is left in the air. — (Now) As the year comes to end, fireworks are going off everywhere, including in everyone's favorite little coffee shop.

Pairing: Nurse!Steve Harrington x Fem!Byers!Reader

Word Count: 2,770

Content Warning: the flashback chapter is pure angst tbh, partially takes place in a hospital, labor and delivery and medical talk, mentions of food, lmk if i missed anything!

Extra Notes: I am so so sorry this is a week late. More to come on that later but for now, I hope you guys enjoy!

Originally Written: 12/28/2023 through 01/03/24

honeysuckleharringtons' main masterlist can be found here!

'brew and me' series masterlist can be found here!

[ Then, February of 1988 ]

The first thing you noticed was that god-awful beeping sound. Then, the flickering of a light. Then, the horrible stinging pain in your lower belly. And finally, you realized… no cries could be heard.

"My baby," you started to panic, forcing your eyes open and pulling yourself up in the bed. "Where's my baby?!"

A hand jutted out to grab you, forcing you to stop squirming. You fought and attempted to wriggle away, until your eyes came in to focus and you realized whose hand had grabbed you. "Mom, where's my baby?! Is she okay?! Why isn't she crying?! Mom-" you hyperventilated, your fingers and toes numb with anxiety.

"Shhh, honey," she reassured you, her grip still strong. "She's okay. The nurses are giving her a checkup now. They're gonna bring her over in just a sec, okay?"

You fought for your breath to slow down, your squirming coming to a halt. Your eyes darted across the room, landing on the crib that was surrounded by two nurses in pink scrubs and who you assumed was the doctor, sporting her coat and holding a stethoscope to your baby. Your baby.

The words hadn't really felt real yet. Sure, you knew the day was coming soon, and you'd been urging Jason to be ready any day now, but it wasn't until you saw her and actually processed the words that it all started to feel real.

Jason. "Mom, where is Jay?" you started to panic again, chest rising and falling erratically. "Where is he? He said he'd be here but-"

"He's here," she reassured you. "He's out in the hall. He just got here not long ago. You're lucky he was in Lafayette for a game."

Just then, a cheery voice cut your conversation short, and the bundle in the lady's arms sent your heart racing all over again, this time in sheer excitement. "You ready to meet your baby, Mama?"

With an enthusiastic nod, you held out your arms, tears brimming in your eyes. You'd waited for this for eight long months, and finally, it was coming to an end.

The nurse placed the tiny bundle in your arms, quiet coos exiting the baby's tiny mouth. Everything about her was tiny and beautiful, from those signature Byers eyebrows to those same blue-green eyes her daddy had. Her head was prickled with soft brown hairs, her eyes hidden behind long lashes. "She's beautiful," you said, though the word didn't seem strong enough.

"She really is," Joyce smiled beside you, looking down at the baby in your arms. "Say, how'd you know she was a girl before anyone told you?"

You thought for a moment, honestly unsure of your answer. With a shrug of your shoulders, you answered, "I don't know. I guess I just had a feeling."

Joyce met you with a closed-lip smile. "Mother's instinct," she corrected. "I had that same feeling when you were born too."

A few minutes of silence passed, save for your baby's sweet coos. You watched as she took the world in, her light hazel eyes widening with every new discovery she made. You could've sworn she smiled every time she looked up at you, your heart swelling with true contentment.

Joyce was the one to break your silence, quietly asking if you wanted Jason to meet the baby yet. With a quick nod of your head, she was exiting her chair and the room, closing the door quietly behind your boyfriend as he stepped in.

Jason had clearly just finished a game not long before he arrived, but you still found him as handsome as ever. Blond hair tossed about, a sheen of sweat covering his forehead—though, knowing him, it could've just been nervous sweats. He was still in his uniform, his toned arms looking beautiful against his blue jersey.

"Hey," he said, quietly and nervously. He wiped his palms on his sweatpants, taking a few nervous steps forward.

"Hey," you whispered back. "How was your game?"

"You just had an emergency c-section and you're asking about me?" he chuckled, sitting down at the edge of the bed.

Your brows furrowed. It wasn't until he mentioned it that you realized you didn't really have any recollection of having the baby, much less a c-section. "What exactly happened? Did Mom explain anything?"

"Apparently you passed out while you were doing some laundry. She brought you to the ER and they said you had preeclampsia, so they rushed you in for a c-section."

Your previous state of panic started to rush through you again, your eyes widening in horror as you looked over at the nurses, who were cleaning up their station. "Nurse! Is my baby okay?! Why didn't anyone tell me about the preeclampsia?"

The nurse from before rushed over, a smile still on her face. "Ma'am, you're okay. Your baby is right as rain. She's a little on the smaller side, but that's to be expected since you were only thirty-seven and a half weeks. Her Apgar is perfect, she looks healthy and sounds healthy. It seems as though your preeclampsia had no effect on her."

"As for you, it would explain those headaches your mom told us about," the doctor explained. "We're gonna watch you for a few days, make sure your blood pressure stays good, watch that incision to make sure it doesn't get infected. After that, you and Baby will be all good to go home."

The second nurse spoke up as the three of them headed for the door. "We'll leave you and Dad to it, but just call if you or Baby need anything at all."

And with that, the three of you were left alone, your own perfect little bubble of a world that you'd be content with forever.

A lot had changed since Jason had first found out about the baby. For starters, he'd finally gained some common sense and had stopped pressuring you about giving the baby away. Secondly, he'd actually been making an effort to treat you better, and taking your long distance relationship seriously—phone calls nearly every night, coming home to see you any free weekend he could get, making sure you were eating right and treating yourself well for the baby's arrival. It was sweet, really, the way your child had brought the two of you closer together despite not being born yet.

"What are you gonna name her?" Jason asked, breaking you from your thoughts.

"Well, since today was Valentine's Day, I was thinking maybe we should name her something that means love," you explained. "But I'm also curious, what were you thinking, Jay?"

"Me?" he questioned. You could've sworn you heard a hint of guilt in the word.

You nodded, careful not to move too much, so as not to disturb the baby. "You did help, after all," you giggled. "I thought one of us could pick the first name and the other one could pick the middle name. Oh, that reminds me. Whose last name should she have?"

The blond squirmed in his seat uncomfortably, as if trying to find some way out of the current conversation. "I'm not…" his voice trailed, the words clearly caught in his throat.

You started to worry. This behavior was never something you'd see out of him before. "Jay, what's wrong?"

Those blue eyes you loved so much darted across the room, making contact with anything but you. "I'm not so sure this conversation is a good idea."

Your brows furrowed and your heart rate started to speed up. Numbness began to shoot down to your fingers and toes, the familiar stinging of tears pricking behind your eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I think you should name her, since you're the one who's gonna be with her."

The words hit you like a knife to the stomach. You knew what he was implying, but you couldn't bring yourself to fully believe it. Not yet. Not until he said it. "You'll be there too, right?" Tears had begun to fall now, your cheeks wet and burning. "You'll come see us every chance you get? Call us every night?"

Tears started to slip from Jason's eyes now, though you weren't quite sure if they were from sadness or guilt. "I can't. I have to go."

He stood from his chair, wiping his tears away with the pads of his thumbs. You called his name, but he barely faltered.

"Jason!" you yelled a second time, probably loud enough for the people in the hallway to hear. You spoke again, voice barely above a whisper this time. "Don't do this. If not for me, for her."

"She deserves better than me." Jason's voice cracked, the first you'd ever heard him break like that. "She deserves the life you can give her. Not one where I'm half in."

"So be all in!" The words were a demand, though sounded more like begging. "Be there for her. Be there for me!"

He shook his head, blond hair flopping about. The burning pain from your eyes shot down to your heart, your stomach, any and every part of you it could touch. "You know that I can't do that." The one word that described the way he looked was the same word that would describe exactly what he was: weak.

"Jason!" you called one last time, hoping to at least guilt trip him into staying, even if nothing else worked. "Don't you at least want to hold her? Say goodbye to her?"

He paused one last time by the door, his blue-green eyes as pained as you felt. "I have to go, Y/N."

And with that, Jason Carver was out the door. Out of your life. Out of your baby's life. Forever.

[ Now, December of 1991 ]

There were many things you enjoyed about working for a small business. Limited staff and solo closing shifts were not on that list. Add in that it was New Year's Eve… well, let's just say it was no longer the season of being holly and jolly.

Four wrong orders in the span of five hours, a spilled hot chocolate, and one burnt bagel later, you were ready to head home. Nothing sounded better to you than a hot shower, a shared glass of apple juice with Mandy while Jon and Will shot off fireworks in the backyard, and falling asleep promptly at 12:01 a.m.

The sounds of the door opening and the bell ringing did their best to distract you from the contentment your plans were bringing you. "Sorry, we're closed," you sighed, momentarily hating yourself for leaving the door unlocked after store hours were over.

"Not even for me?"

Your heart swelled with temporary joy as you looked up, a familiar handsome nurse walking over toward the counter. "Steve? What are you doing here?" Truth be told, even you knew your smile was wider than it should've been.

"Well, I was hoping to get some coffee," he said, awkwardly scratching at the back of his neck. His brown locks were covered with tiny white flakes, glasses slightly fogged from the cold air outside. "I didn't realize you closed early today."

You shrugged your shoulders. "They let us off early for the holidays." He nodded, his mouth quirking up on one side as he listened to you speak. Steve was like that, always delighted just to talk to you, no matter the conversation topic. "What about you, though? How's your holiday season been?"

"Good. Really good." For a second, you could have sworn you saw his smile falter, but he was quick to jump right back to your previous conversation. "Are you sure about that coffee?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows playfully.

"Tell you what. Since it's a holiday, I'll stay open just late enough to make you something, okay?"

He did a small fist pump in victory. "I knew you liked me," he chuckled, the sound going straight to your belly. "I'll take the usual and a chocolate chip cookie."

Your brows furrowed as you got to work on his order. "What's the cookie for?"

He scoffed, a fake pout replacing his previous smile. "I've been gone for less than a week and a half and you've already forgotten about our game."

In realization, your mouth fell slightly ajar. "Good guess. Everyone loves chocolate chip cookies."

"So… does that mean I win?" he asked, leaning back on his feet.

"Just because I said I love chocolate chip cookies doesn't mean they're my favorite thing on the menu. I love a lot of things, but they're not all my favorite," you answered. "Good try though. I was wondering when you'd start to think about things besides drinks."

"Well, since you love them so much, would you be interested in sharing one with me?"

Your brows furrowed at his request. "On any other day, I'd love to. But I have to clean up and get out of here in a half hour."

Steve leaned against the counter lightly, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. "What if I asked to share it somewhere else?"

"Whatcha mean?"

"Well, there's an annual fireworks display downtown. I thought maybe I'd come grab a coffee and we could go watch it together," he explained, that same nervous smile from earlier returning. "A-as friends, of course. And it only lasts until 9:30, so you still have time to get home and celebrate with your folks."

Those familiar monarchs floated around in your stomach, a feeling that used to be all too rare, but was now a common occurrence when Steve was around. Part of you craved to give in, to just say yes and spend even the smallest amount of time alone with him outside the cafe. But you thought better of it, remembering your promises to a certain three-year-old someone at home. One day, you promised yourself, you will get this. You deserve it.

"Unfortunately, my mom is expecting me home. We're having a small family get-together tonight and she really wants me there," you told him. "If it's any consolation though, you have no idea how much I want to say yes."

His face fell slightly, though his smile still mostly remained. "I understand. My mom throws Christmas parties every year and she'd have a cow if I missed one."

You wondered about his parents for a moment. What they looked like, what they were like. Did he get his handsome looks from his mom's side of the family? Or perhaps he's a carbon copy of his father? Which one of them inspired his choice to be in the medical field? For a second, you let your mind wander to the thought of getting along with them, and if your family would get along with his. You wondered what they'd think about Mandy. What Steve would think about Mandy.

The kettle hissing brought you out of your thoughts, your attention immediately going back to his order. "I really am sorry, Steve," you insisted once more, knowing you'd regret not taking this chance with him. "I wish I could go."

"Tell you what," he said, slapping a ten dollar bill down on the counter for his order. "Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Why don't you make it up to me then?"

Your eyes narrowed in on him. "I don't know if I can. I mean, it just depends."

A hand met his hip, his skin beautiful against its slate gray background. "Just depends on what?" Steve quipped back, taking his order from you.

"On you, on your guesses, on how you play the game." Then, that demon that had been sitting on your shoulder for the past month had the most absolutely devious plan. "Oh, that reminds me."

It felt as though you floated around the counter, because you certainly didn't carry yourself over to him. You placed his drink and cookie in each of his hands, exhaling a nervous breath.

Steve's barely-there stubble prickled against your lips as you kissed his cheek. The fireworks show wasn't starting for hours, but you were sure one was going off in your stomach as you kissed him. "Consider that a preview."

His cheeks lit up like a Christmas tree as he processed what just happened. "For what?"

"For next New Year's," you said, sucking your teeth between your lips for a moment. "If you can finish the game by then."

"I'll try my hardest." Steve scoffed playfully, then headed toward the door with a chuckle. "Happy New Year, Byers."

This time, you knew for sure that you couldn't hold back the smile tugging at your lips. "Happy New Year, Doc."

it's once again that time where i have to make a formal apology 😭

i really and truly wanted to have this up for you guys on time. i really did try my hardest. however, my boss had other plans and attempting to find a day off to edit and finish this for you guys during the holiday season while working in retail was not in the cards for me 💔 i'm trying my hardest to get a week where i can double post and get caught up for you guys but my schedule is insane currently. i really am sorry!

anywho, on a happier note, i hope you guys enjoyed! this might be my favorite chapter so far and i honestly think the series is only going to get better from here 🤭

-> taglist: @dungeons-are-too-cold @ducky-died-inside @awkotaco24 @liberhoe @princesseddie @corrodedseraphine @manuosorioh @esoltis280 @hazydespair @frostandflamesfanfic

[pomegrantemoths88]

Till We're Safe (AU The Maze Runner) (Gally X Reader)

Chapter 1: Entering The Glade

I woke up in a cold sweat, I didn't know where I was. It was a creaky rusty elevator moving very fast, I didn't know how I got there or even the events leading up to this, I remember boxes and crates of things around me. I barely had time to think before the elevator abruptly stopped, and 2 doors opened up. I remember the light blinding me at first, but my eyes adjusted to see figures all around me. I looked around in a panic to see dozens of boys staring at me, all whispering and saying, "It's a girl. Why did they send her up?" "What's going on?"

I looked around more, and it was true, I was the only girl. Suddenly a wave of terror and panic set in, I could barely breathe, and everyone was talking or yelling, I stumbled back into a corner and just then a tall burly blonde boy jumped down the elevator, offering his hand to help me up. And in a reassuring voice he said,

"Welcome to the Glade greenie."

He offered to pull me up which took a second for me to take but then I climbed out to a sea of boys surrounding me, the same boy who helped me started yelling at the rest.

"Back the hell up, you’re scaring her you dumbass shanks!"

3 other boys did the same to the others, all the less I was still panicking, I was backing up and trying to avoid all of them, a certain animalistic fear was taking over and I started to hyperventilate, I stood still for a moment when one of the darker skinned boys tried approaching me slowly,

"Hey, it's okay, we won't hurt you, just stay calm."

One boy from the crowd however decided to cut out all pleasantries and yank my arm towards them. Immediately with no thought, I sprinted and pushed through the crowd to run away, I didn't know where to go until straight ahead, a large dark opening. I felt as if I was running for my life until a group of 3 boys emerged from the imposing doorway. They quickly realized what I was doing, and I made a hard right turn. On my new route I saw a forest and figured I could lose the small crowd chasing me there, somewhere to hide for now.

As I ran towards the trees, I noticed one of the boys from the doorway very quickly gaining on me and as I got past the tree line when I was abruptly stopped in my tracks by the same boy who pulled me up, he backed me up into a tree, and with large, calloused hands he held still my wrists and shoulders. I started to try and fight but he spoke again, this time much more assertively,

"HEY calm down, no ones going to hurt you!"

As he spoke, I looked him in the eye this time, I didn't know how else to describe it but his eyes were a familiar shade of blue, they were beautiful stoic eyes. As I focused more on his face, he started to take deep breaths, encouraging me to do the same, I started to calm down and my wave of panic faded, replaced with a sense of familiarity and safety, I felt like I could trust him,

"I'm going to let you go, I promise no one here will hurt you."

I nodded and he slowly let me go and backed away with arms up, the other boy from the doorway who originally kept his distance, started to speak to the taller boy,

"Why the shuck did they send a girl up here?"

As he asked the question, the smaller crowd finally caught up.

"Shucking hell greenie, that was some run" said a blonde skinnier boy, and then one of the darker skinned boys spoke up still trying to catch his breath

"Alright greenie, now that we got that out of the way, let's give you the introduction,everybody get back to work.” To which the guys responded with groans and small complaints, all except the tall blonde boy who caught me. As he walked away he looked back a few times, I wouldn’t be able to tell if anyone else also stared back, I wasn’t paying attention to them.

“My name is Alby, now can you tell me anything about yourself? Any memory before the Box?”

As I stood still and thought it through, I realized I couldn’t remember anything. Earlier I had been so focused on getting away I didn’t think about how I got here. 

I couldn’t remember anything, nothing, as if nothing else was there, sure I remembered concepts and things, like surely I had parents and a life before this, but why couldn’t I make out a face? The only thing I could remember was waking up in a sweat in a dark creaky elevator. And then my name, when someone gives you their name, you respond with your own, why couldn’t I remember mine?  I was starting to panic again when Alby said

“Hey it's okay, your name will come in a day or two, it’s the one thing they let us keep. Now come on, you aren’t gonna run again right?”

~

Shortly after Albys introduction thats when I really took it all in, and when I realized where we were, we were surrounded by huge concrete walls that I could barely see in one go, green vines crawling all around it, with the area I was in a huge patch of grassland, forest and wooden structures, everything so imposing to me. I looked around once again to see a group of boys staring and murmuring amongst themselves, whatever just happened with me was definitely an anomaly. 

Alby let me know of the rules as we walked around, till we reached the watchtower. As we reached the top and looked around the entire Glade he spoke,

“I hope you're not afraid of heights, I’ll have you stay up here in the meanwhile, I gotta talk to some of our Keepers about the situation…”

“Is it really that weird that I’m here?”

“Yes and no, I just want to make sure you and the rest of the group are comfortable. If everyone respects the rules and does their share, then we’ll all get along just fine.”

“Well, I think me running earlier is about all the trouble and attention I wanna bring.”

“Ha, well you're already good in my book then greenie. Now just stay up here while I come back.”

As he went towards the homestead, and a couple others I noticed one of them was the taller boy. I wished I would’ve caught his name earlier but I thought back to when Alby asked if there was anything I remembered from before the Box. There wasn’t but when I got caught, and I was held by him, something seemed familiar. And I wondered if familiarity isn’t a memory itself.

~

Alby came back after what seemed like an hour, only he came back around with the skinner blonde boy.

“Greenie, this is my second Newt. He’s in charge when I’m not around.”

“And i’m glad he’s always around, that was some running you did earlier girl, you could really have the chops to be a runner.”

“Runner?”

“Trust me, you don’t wanna do it.”

“Newt, do me a favor and accompany her to dinner please, I have some things I gotta do.”

As I went for dinner I met Frypan. He was very sweet and one of the first to make me laugh since I got here. I talked to Newt and met some of the Gladers. A bell rang and Newt said that the workday was done. 

Chapter 2: Brawls and Bonfires

The rest of the short afternoon was full of introductions and walking around and I noticed the sun going down. While new Gladers were sent in and given a place to sleep in the regular huts, the Keepers and Alby decided I'd sleep in the Homestead for now, everything else seemed the same, that is until the Greenie from a month ago decided to follow me around.

"Hey I'm Joffrey, I got here a month ago, now I understand how scary all of this might seem but don't worry I can keep you safe around these animals."

With the several boys I'd already interacted with, he was by far the most annoying one yet. I didn’t care for his annoying tone of voice he spoke with, I knew that I was a unique addition to the Glade but I didn't want them to think I was any less capable. For some reason, I wanted to prove myself to them, I'm not sure how but I'd need to find a way.

-------

Night fell and a bonfire was lit, Newt approached me and gave me a bit more information about this place, as he was talking the weird gateway in the walls slowly closed up and was followed with a horrible blood-curdling screech that came over the walls, everyone stopped for a second and went back to the festivities. 

“What the hell was that?!”

"That's a Griever. That's what makes the Maze dangerous, no ones ever seen one and lived to tell the tale. That's why we have the rules of the Glade.”

"How long has everyone been here?"

"Every month, the Box sends up new supplies and a new Greenie, so that means someone had to be the first one here. That was Alby, he knows more about this place than any of us."

"Has anyone tried to escape?"

"That's why we have the Runners over there, they map out the Maze, the Keeper is Minho. But HEY, this is supposed to be a celebration, you're our guest of HONOR, the first girl of the Glade! Here take a swig of that, it's Gallys recipe."

It was a bitter drink that burned but the name caught my attention.

"Whose Gally?"

Newt got up and gestured for me to do the same, he smiled and pointed over to the crowd on the other side of the bonfire, he pointed towards the tall boy from earlier, one of the Keepers but for some reason, I never got his name. He was in a circle wrestling with anyone who dared to get in there with him, it seemed fun and heartwarming to me, the only part that seemed strange however were the fleeting glances he was taking towards me.

"He's our Keeper of the Builders, strong guys but not much going on upstairs... but him? He's always stressed and uptight, don't take it personally if he yells at you eventually."

I got a little disappointed for some reason but my intrigue still peaked. I didn't know how to describe it at the time but I was curious.

I listened to Newt talk and I walked with him as I was introduced to more of the Gladers, this time way less formal. I got the same reaction usually, all either excited or shy, but overall plucky and welcoming. I was starting to feel much safer and calmer, maybe even joyful. I picked up conversation with the runners and more specifically Minho,

"That was quite a run earlier, you almost outran me, if Alby didn't forbid me I would've nominated you for runner haha." 

"I'm not sure, after that scream I heard earlier maybe I'll leave running to you guys."

We giggled for a bit until an annoying face came up. Joffrey had entered the conversation as if he had already been there, 

"Hahaha, the first greenie joke. So, are there any guys here who peak your interest?"

I'm not sure if it's because he was still new here or if he was genuinely stupid, but I didn't care at all for his insinuations and neither did Minho.

"Dude, she just got here. You're messing it up so bad."

"I'm sorry but I'm not here to be anyone's interest." I got a bit more aggressive with my tone at this point. How dare he?

"Oh come on Greenie, you're pretty and maybe some of these guys are nicer looking to you? I'm asking what we're all thinking!"

Minho didn't have much to say after this, in a way he proved him right. I couldn't even blame him, I was after all the first girl and not a bad looking one at that, but I for sure knew that I would not be reduced to just that. I was put here like everyone else, I'd work like everyone else and just maybe, I'd belong like everyone else, in this weird constructed world of ours, I'd help us get out.

I looked over Joffrey once again to see Gallys fleeting glance, he had just thrown someone out and no one seemed to take his offer. So, in a quick movement I shoved Joffrey aside and walked to the circle. 

------------------------------------

"WOAH WAIT A MINUTE"

"no way..."

"GALLY DON'T DO IT"

"GO EASY ON HER MAN"

"HE'S GONNA KILL HER"

Shouts roared amongst us as I took my shoes off and faced Gally, who was very clearly in shock. At this point everyone was surrounding us, I took a quick look around to see Newt and Alby trying to stop me and Minho hyping me up, Winston in utter shock and concern. Gally then spoke up and the audience quieted down,

"Hell no I'm not doing this Greenie."

"From what I hear it's tradition, too scared to do it now?"

"I don't wanna hurt you."

"You should be concerned about me hurting you." Ooohs littered the crowd with other side comments. Gally smirked and let a sarcastic laugh out.

"Alright but don't start crying when you get thrown out."

I smiled and got in ready position, the only thing I had to do was not get thrown out, maybe I could tire him out in time,

He charged towards me and I quickly jerked away, he didn't expect me to move so quickly and he tripped at the edge, he got up quickly and embarrassed, I smirked and gestured for more. This time he was quicker to charge, he went for one of my legs this time but in what seemed like a familiar manner, I wrapped my hand around his neck and swung around, my feet hitting the sand. 

However he didn't get up immediately, he swung and used his legs to knock out my own, I fell hard on my back. Alright, I really got mad this time. I decided to stop messing around and charged at his stomach, all while grabbing the back of his knees and trying to flip him, which didn't work because he took both of us down with him, with me landing directly on top of him. 

He swiftly pushed me off and got up again, as did I. We were both tired at this point and I knew I had to come up with something, Gally charged at me again, only this time much much faster, I didn't have time to come up with anything except duck a bit but it ended with him crashing down on top of me this time at the edge of the circle.

We both got up and I tried to just go ahead and push him, he did the same. Both pushing against each other's shoulders and for just a few moments we locked eyes and stared.

One word came into my mind at that moment...

"y/n"

[hughiecampbelle]

Succession Preference: Baby Roy Having Panic Attacks

Requested: hello lovely i hope your doing well been binge reading all your baby roy fics, just wondering if your comfortable doing it how would the roy siblings deal with baby roy having panic attacks, if your comfortable with it, if not ignore this? hope you have a lovely day :) - anon

A/N: Oh my love I hope you're having a wonderful day! I've had panic attacks since I was ten, eleven maybe. I still remember my first one, it was terrifying. I can only speak from my experience, so I'm sorry if anything isn't universal. I hope you like it!!!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

Succession Masterlist

Connor knows exactly what to do. You've been having panic attacks for years, since you were a kid. He talks to you in a soothing voice, rubbing your back, reminding you that you're safe, that everyone and everything is okay. It's been happening a lot more since Logan's passing. Ever since you found out, it feels like you can't catch your breath. You get so worked up in the thought of losing everyone you love, your brothers and sister. You've tried putting it into words, explaining your fears, hoping it would put an end to the panic attacks. It doesn't, but at least Connor knows what's been bothering you. When he sees the warning signs, the shaking hands, the sporadic breathing, the panicked look in your eyes, he steps into action. When it's over, you thank him, but he just shakes his head. That's what he's here for. As a big brother, it's his job to protect you from every thing. When he can't do that, at least he can be there for you through it.

Kendall has had panic attacks before. Every time he crashes, every time he deals with Logan, etc. He's no stranger to them. But when his baby starts to hyperventilate, when you start to cry and shake and gasp for air, he's clueless. He talks to you really loud, like you can't understand him, and slowly like you're an idiot. Between gasps, you try to explain that you can tell what he's saying, it's just not helping. He rubs your back, getting on your level. Y/n, uh, it's-it's okay. Deep breaths. In and out, kid. It's okay. He should have known something like this would happen. Logan was always going on and on about how you were always being so "dramatic", that when he raised his voice even a little bit you start to spiral. Kendall feels awful that he didn't realize what was going on, that he just went along with what your father was saying. Eventually you start to calm down, wiping your tears, apologizing to him for your "outburst". Awkwardly, he assures you that it's okay, that you should really talk to someone about your panic attacks. Not to listen to Dad when he says hurtful things.

Shiv recognizes your panic attack before anyone else. She had them in college, before midterms and finals. She didn't know what they were only that it happened and it felt like she was dying every time. She never grew out of them, she just got better at hiding them. She rubs your back, knowing whatever she says isn't really going to help. Another phone call with your mother always left you feeling panicked. She felt the same way after a few hours with Caroline. You feel silly and stupid, getting all worked up, but you can't help it. The tears start falling before you can stop them. Your whole body feels numb. She assures you that you'll never be crazy like her, that all the hurtful things she says she doesn't really mean, that you'll get through this. Between the gasping and the panic, you laugh. God you hope you'll never be like her, never be that cruel and uncaring. Shiv always knows how to make you feel better, even if it's at your mothers expense.

Roman thinks you're dying. He genuinely thinks you're leaving for good. He claps in front of your face, trying to keep you awake. Gasping, you roll your eyes, trying to do your best to tell him that you're not dying, you're having a panic attack. He's not sure what that is or how to help. You're at a huge party and there are just too many people. It feels like all their eyes are on you. He offers to get you a drink and to call Shiv or Kendall. You're curled into a ball trying to control your breathing. Eventually you get yourself under control, but he wasn't very much help. You always get like this in crowds. You thought there would be a lot less people, you had no idea the kind of turnout. Afterwards you tell him this, but during you're drowning in your own thoughts. It's too much. Through the night he checks up on you, fearing it'll happen again. It doesn't, you're grateful.

[runningthroughthegarden]

sometimes friends fall out for the right reasons pt2 - rowan laslow

Summary: After a quick love confession both of your lives begin to crash down. Until you both realize being together will always fix everything. Well almost everything.

Word count: 971

It's been a couple days since your fight with Rowan. 

You've spent the last two days at school completely ignoring him. You couldn’t bear to see him. Your eyes were constantly puffy. Hair a mess. You barely even spoke. Everyone around you knew something was wrong but they had no idea what happened. 

What you didn't know was that Rowan was going through the same thing.

Rowan’s pov - 3 days ago

As I rush down the steps of the Nightshade library, I can hear my mother's voice ringing through my head. I have to get to the bottom of whatever the hell this Wednesday girl is going to do. I'm going to be the one to save this school.

I quickly rip out the page I've been desperately searching for.

I'm already forming my plan as I exit the library, carefully planning my next move.

I look up to sky, noticing the stars. Fuck.

I know I was supposed to me y/n but I was finally putting together the missing pieces of the puzzle. Right now, this is the most important thing. This school needs a hero and it's me.

-

I wake up to find Xavier already gone. Thank God. I can't stand to be around anyone right now and I need to figure out when I'm going to kill Wednesday. A couple hours go by, and I start to realize how difficult this is going to be. But who said being a hero was easy.

I feel like I'm going crazy. My powers are out of control, and I can't even control my emotions. All I can think about are my mother's words.

I hear a knock at the door and quickly hide the papers scattered across the floor.

I open the door to see y/n. She angrily pushes past me asking why I didn't meet up with her. No one can know what I'm doing so I use the same excuse.

I stand there silently as my best friend yells at me. I seriously can't take this shit right now. I have so many other things to worry about and this isn't one of them.

Something in me finally snaps and I start yelling back.

"Jesus Christ, I don't need this right now y/n!! You have no fucking idea what I've been going through. I'm SO sorry I missed our stupid little date, but I have actual shit I need to get done. And I don't need you following me around like a lost puppy. Just leave me the hell alone" I yell.

The next she says changes everything.

"And to think I was in love with you" she sighs scoffs.

I feel my whole body weaken at that simple sentence. I feel my eyes soften. I have waited for this moment for so long.

That's when my mother's words replay in my head. I can't.

I snap back. I back her into the wall just to feel close to her one last time.

"Forget about your stupid little crush and get out of my room. I don't need you"

She rushes out of my room. I throw myself against my bed. "It had to be done" I think.

Present day

I am going to kill Wednesday the night of the festival.

It's taken the past couple of days to figure out but I'm ready.

I've noticed how horrible y/n looks. A part of me feels terrible but I know it was the right thing to do. I had to cut off ties with her at some point. The love confession was sort of a setback. But I don't need this right now. She hates me, which is perfect. Now she won't get hurt. I can only protect her in that way.

y/n pov

The rest of the week was shit. It went the same as previous days, crying and ignoring Rowan. It's Friday night and I'm spending it in bed watching sad romcoms.

I was just about to fall asleep when I hear a frantic knocking at my door.

I open it to see an even more disheveled Rowan. Before I can say anything, he walks through the door, pacing around my room. He's hyperventilating with tears in his eyes.

"Rowan what the hell is wrong with you?!?" You questioned with concern.

"I'm going crazy" he says stopping in front of you.

"What do you mean Row?" you say confused.

"My mom. And the book. and the school. and Wednesday." He says pulling at his hair.

"Row please just calm down for a second" you say resting your two hands on his cheeks.

You stare into his eyes while his breathing slows down.

He looks like he's having a battle inside his head. Thinking of what to say or do next.

"I'm in love with you" he confesses.

You stand there in shock, still holding his face in your hands. "What?" you question.

He stays silent, moving his hands to cup your own.

"But-but at your dorm you told me to get out and. and you. you said all those-"

You were quickly cutoff by Rowan smashing his lips against yours. Every ounce of emotion was put into this one kiss. Years of secretly longing for each other. You both began to smile into the kiss.

"I've loved you for a long time" Rowan says, resting his forehead against yours.

"Me too" you whisper.

"I'm sorry I said all those things. I don't know what's been going on with me. But I know whenever when I'm with you, my troubles don't seem so significant. Will you go the festival with me tomorrow?" he questions.

"Of course" you respond with a soft smile.

And there you two were. Two teenagers in love. Hands cupping each other. Foreheads gently resting against each other.

You don't know what tomorrow has in store... but you can only hope for the best.

A/N spoiler!! tomorrow has absolutely NOT the best in store.

tag list! @akikoslippers @stxrg4zer @theesuckerforthe80s @starrypoti0ns @kota-log @pennyluvr @ilikefictionmen @ykyouluvme @yy4ngj @oprvah @ify0useethisn0youdidn0t @wrmmi @seenit

[steveisagay]

Billy's Big Decision

Metalsandwich/harringroveson

Summary: Billy shaves his hair and it marks one of the few decisions he's made for himself

Warings: swearing (duh), Billy also really loves makeup, negative self talk, his abuse, heavy mention of Billy's mom, the f slur

Billy doesn't truly remember anything. Well, he remembers Neil's abuse, he remembers the Mind Flayer, he remembers getting the whole thing explained to him, he remembers that Neil lost custody for child abuse, and he remembers Hopper legally adopting him. But he doesn't remember much from tonight. He remembers flashbacks of abuse, of how it felt to have his body hijacked. He remembers the tears burning down his face, down his cheeks and onto his hands and his mattress. He remembers walking into the bathroom, terrified and disgusted at what he saw. He saw a boy man that was beat, a faggot, worthless, good for nothing but another toy for horny mothers. He saw the mass of hair that was comparable to a lion's mane. The same hair that had attracted so many. The same hair that got him flirted with on the job. The same hair that was responsible for him ever leaving for that motel.

He knows he started sobbing, possibly even screaming, although probably not because he didn't wake anyone. He still had self-control, he knew this because he punched the counter, not the mirror. His blue eyes were surrounded by red, but that was it. That was all he really remembered.

He wasn't aware of anything leading up to that moment. The moment that froze him, the moment that reminded him he really was broken. He destroyed his best quality, he destroyed himself.

The buzzing in his hand only clicked once he realized how disheveled he looked. How bits and pieces were missing to make him look like he really was beat half-to-death. He shaved off almost all his hair. It itched as his skin where shame burned underneath. He couldn't tell who was in the mirror. Hair was stuck into his neck, into his shoulders, under his shirt and all over the floor. How bits and pieces were missing to make him look like he really was beat half-to-death. He shaved off almost all his hair. It itched as his skin where shame burned underneath. He couldn't tell who was in the mirror. Countless thoughts raced through his head. That no one would want him, that his boyfriends wouldn't want him, that he would be so ugly that not even Joyce would want him in her house anymore.

He called the only people he could. If he told Joyce and Hop without being prepared they'd hate him for sure. He didn't wanna wake up Jonathan cause he had things to do tomorrow. And he'd never want to worry the kids with his problems. He called his boyfriends.

Before Steve could even say anything he heard Billy's broken voice on the other line. "Stevie..?"

"Billy, Billy baby, what's wrong? Do you need me? Are you okay?" He quickly became panicked from the audible sobs on the other side. "Are you hurt?"

Steve swears he hears a 'no' and a 'please come over', but underneath that where sobs and hyperventilating breaths.

"It's gonna be okay B, I'll be over in five," he never wanted to hear his boyfriend sounding so hurt and scared. But there was wave of relief when he realized that this meant he was reaching out to him. "Do you want me to pick up Eddie?"

"Yeah," At least he was coherent now. Steve said a quick 'I love you' and almost tore the door off it's hinges and could barely get his key in the door. He sped over to Eddie's trailer, not bothering to knock when he got there.

He yelled out his name as he went straight to his room. "Why the hell are you here?"

"It's Billy, something's wrong." With that Eddie sat straight up, panic painting his face, quickly grabbing a pair of ripped jeans and his vest.

"Alright let's go." He said quickly, rushing through the trailer. "Steve what're you waiting for?! Our baby needs us and you're just standing there?!?"

"Yeah yeah, I just didn't expect you to be so fast."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Billy got himself off the bathroom floor after awhile. Grabbing the counter when he heard loud knocks. He opened the door, immediately being pulled into a hug by both of the other men. His tears started to soak Eddie's shirt right away. Mixxed with all sorts of emotions when Steve reached out to stroke he hair. He pulled back when he felt that most of it was buzzed.

"Who did this?" Steve asked, he seemed angry.

"I did," he paused letting the tears start to fall again, "I got upset and then..." He started shaking again as the two ushered him into the house, and to the bathroom. "I'm sorry, I-I ruined it, it's all my fault,"

"Baby, it is not your fault, if we wanna blame anyone, we can blame your shit dad." Eddie grabbed his face, "We can fix this."

"How?" Billy sounded desperate, "It's not like we can just put it back on..."

Eddie smiled looking into his eyes, grabbing the razor still covered in hair, "No, but we can still fix it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve had started sweeping the floor while Billy was in the shower. Meanwhile Eddie was preparing only the softest blankets, easy snacks, and grabbing a new set of clothes, including a hoodie from Steve.

Billy felt a sense of relief when he ran his hands over his new buzzcut. He was free. He was a person.

When he got out of the shower Steve had handed him a towell. After drying off he went into his room, Steve following close behind so he could give him cuddles as soon as possible.

Eddie patted the space next to him on the bed and slightly moved some of the blankets. "Hey Eds?" Billy said quietly, still shaken from before.

"Yeah baby, what's up?" Eddie replied as the blond sat down in his arms, leaving room for Steve on the other side.

"Can you do my eyeliner?" He was still shaking. When he was ten, his mother would do her makeup all the time. The first time Neil ever referred to him as a faggot was when he tried on his mother's makeup for the first time. He looked like a mess, but whenever his mother put on makeup she looked pretty. His mother always said he looked pretty, his dad hated that. When he turned 12 he stole borrowed his first eyeliner. It was one of the few choices he'd made specifically for himself. It felt freeing. One day he went out to meet up with Argyle, eyeliner on, and his dad found out. He beat him and yelled at him for what seemed like hours. He didn't know exactly how bad it was to be a faggot until he was sore for the next two weeks. Since then he's collected various types of makeup, it comforts him to be pretty.

"Of course I can," Eddie reached over to the small table next to his bed where the small black stick was out. He popped off the cap and adjusted himself so he could properly apply it. He didn't do his own eyeliner that often, every once in a blue moon. But he did get practice with Billy. He watched out for if his eyelids started to flicker. Steve wrapped his arms around Billy as he pressed kisses to his neck and made sure to give him all the admiration he had.

"You're so pretty Billy," a kiss, "I love you so much," another kiss, "I am so proud of you B," he rubbed his hands up his sides, "so proud for making your own decisions."

Billy spoke without looking at him, as to not throw off Eddie, "Really?"

He could practically hear his smile, "Of course baby, you made a decision for yourself, not me, or Eddie, or your dad," he pressed another kiss to his neck, "you did it for you, and I am so proud of you."

Eddie nodded along as he finished Billy's liner, "You know what you deserve?"

"Hm?"

"You deserve to wear that cherry lipgloss you love so much." He smirked as he got up to grab the pinkish lipgloss from the blond's dresser.

"No. I only use that on special occasions." Billy said firmly, he loved that gloss, but it was special. It made him feel pretty, beautiful.

"But it is a special occasion." He pressed a kiss to his lips, then down his jaw. Then he brought his face back up, "You made an important step in being your own person."

Before Billy could get another word out the wand was being dragged along his lips. Steve continued his words of affirmation behind him. He felt pretty, he felt like himself. With him and his boyfriends, who loved him. Where it was natural to love him.

After Eddie was satisfied with the amount of gloss on his boyfriend's lips he quickly pressed another kiss to his lips.

"I'm pretty sure this is my favorite gloss too."

Steve grabbed at Billy's jaw so he could face him as well, stealing a kiss too. "I'd have to agree. Also we have the prettiest boyfriend in the world."

"Yeah, I mean with his hair buzzed I'd go as far to say he's the hottest in the world." Eddie added.

"Oh yeah," Steve agreed, "hes schmoking hot."

And like that, the three soon fell asleep. Billy's face nuzzled in Eddie's shirt, hand intertwined with Steve's as his head was in the crook of his neck. He didn't mind tonight that he fell asleep with makeup on, nor did he care that it ended up all over his amazing boyfriends.

[lee1504]

Could you write some banner family fluff or angst? I've been eating it up recently and there isn't as much as compared to other families like the Clarks :)

Emma Banner noticed her daughter was getting quieter and quieter by day. She usually wasn't social, and mostly kept to herself, but she's been getting strangely quiet. It was almost if she was trying to seem nonexistent, as if she wasn't a part of the family anymore.

It started when Ashlyn was seven.

Emma's heart couldn't take it. It pained her to see Ashlyn sit alone, waiting for her and Mike to pick her up from school, when all the other little kids, her classmates, would run around and chat with each other. She knew Ashlyn was very introverted--even more so as a kid. She'd notice her daughter staring at her feet, which tapped against the ground, always moving, or staring to the side, her eyes blank.

More than once she'd tried getting Ashlyn to meet new people. She met their neighbors, who had a kid her age but eventually moved away, the Hernandez twins, who were in the same grade as her, but soon their father passed, making it difficult for them to be happy again.

One night, Emma opened the door to Ashlyn's room. She was still her baby, but she looked older now. A few years have passed, and now Ashlyn was fourteen. Next year, she would be attending high school.

And to be honest, Emma was scared.

"Hey, Trooper," Emma murmured. She sat down on the edge of her daughter's bed, next to Ashlyn. Mike stood at the doorway, watching, his hands tucked in his pockets as usual. Ashlyn, like always, was staring at her feet.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

"Hey, so..." How should she start this? It was summertime, and heat seeped through the windows, even though Ashlyn's fan was on. It made a low whirring sound. "Are you excited? For high school?"

Ashlyn said nothing. She never really did, unless she was asking what was for dinner and things like those.

Tap. Tap, tap.

"Baby?" Emma placed a hand on her daughter's knee.

Immediately Ashlyn flinched. Emma's eyes flashed to Mike's. "Baby, are you okay?"

Tap, tap, tap.

"Please don't touch me." Ashlyn's voice was low, barely there, a murmur.

"Trooper?" Mike spoke up, coming closer. He looked concerned. He held out a hand, placing it gently on his daughter's shoulder. "Baby, are you okay?"

Taptaptap.

"Please don't touch me!" Suddenly, Ashlyn sprang up. Her eyes were wide, and there were tears in her eyes. "I-I don't like to be touched. It doesn't feel normal. I--"

The tapping was gone.

Emma stood up too. Her brow was furrowed. "Baby, Ashlyn, please, are you okay?"

"Don't touch me!" The outburst was unexpected. Ashlyn's hands were curled into fists; she didn't know if her daughter realized it. Her breaths were quick, like she was hyperventilating. "Don't touch me! I don't like to be touched!"

Tears formed in her daughters eyes.

"Okay, Trooper, we won't touch you if you don't like it," Mike said gently. He moved forward slightly, but Ashlyn stepped back a foot. Her hands immediately clamped to her ears, covering it. She squeezed her eyes shut.

"It's too loud....Don't-Don't come near. Please--!" Without warning, Ashlyn turned and bolted, dashing towards the bathroom. Emma and Mike quickly followed her.

The door slammed shut. Emma heard the lock click.

"Please leave me alone!" her daughter called from the inside. "I don't want to be outside right now--!" Her breaths were still quick.

Emma hesitated. What was she supposed to say? "Alright," she replied. "We can wait. It's okay."

That night, when Ashlyn finally went to bed, Emma and Mike stayed up the whole night. They sat on the couch in the living room, staring at their shared computer the whole time. The screen illuminated their faces.

+++++

The results came in. Ashlyn was diagnosed. Her psychiatrist had recommended buying Ashlyn stronger, more soundproof headphones, since the ones she currently had wasn't strong enough.

One afternoon, the three of them, Emma, Mike, and Ashlyn, were sitting in the living room, watching a recap of Ashlyn's favorite concert. Her daughter's head rested against her shoulder, and her breathing was soft. Even. She was almost falling asleep. Mike sat on Emma's other side, his arm resting against the back of the couch.

"Mom? Dad?"

Emma turned down the volume slightly. Mike's eyes slowly drifted from Emma's to Ashlyn's.

"Yes, Trooper?" Mike replied.

"Am I...am I normal?" Ashlyn's voice quivered slightly.

Emma's eyes flashed to Mike's in a milisecond, then back to her daughter's. "Of course you are," she replied.

A few tears rolled down Ashlyn's face. Emma gently brushed them away.

"I don't feel normal. I feel like...I feel like I don't know what's wrong with me." Ashlyn swallowed, not looking her parents.

"There's nothing wrong with you," Mike said softly, smiling.

Ashlyn seemed to hesitate. "Are you...are you sure? That there's nothing wrong with me?"

Emma smiled. "Of course we're sure."

"But what if--what if I have another episode? Just like the Doctor said?" Her voice was still shaking. "Would you...would you guys still love me?"

"Of course we'd still love you, baby," Emma said, planting a small kiss on her daughter's forehead.

"But what if the episode lasts longer than a few minutes? What then?"

Mike smiled. "Don't worry, Trooper. If it lasts longer, we'll be patient. We'll always be patient for you."

"...Okay. I believe you"

Their daughter soon fell asleep, and summer passed by quickly.