#i still have all my fondest memories of the fandom

[decaying-distortion-2049]

Lana del ray, marina this the 1975 that but WHERE I ask are the edgy kids?!?! Ya know that weird 2014-2018 emo revival that we all just moved on from? I’m talking the emos that were around when TØP got a number one with stressed out, the emos cried over Mrs potato head, the emos that thought my Chem were coming back when the teaser for MCRX dropped on Halloween (LIKE AINT THAT THE MOST EMO SHIT YOU COULD THINK OF!) where are my edgy legends who remember the fall out boy fandom literally splitting in half over night when young and a menace dropped? Where are all the people (who I mostly found on this hell site) who collectively fell in love with Ryan Ross and made AFYCSO and pretty. Odd. A part of our personality. WHERE ARE ALL CRANK THAT FRANKS FORMER SUBSCRIBERS?!?!?!? My black veil brides girlbloggers who went to WAR with Juliet bloggers (if you know you know). The true edge lords who single handedly made suicide squad a cultural moment and deadpool their new favourite boi (HERE COME THAT BOI OH SHIT WHATSUP).

We were dealt a weird hand in the history of alternative culture, where the old ways were dying out slowly and the bands we loved were evolving into something more modern. We got some of the very best and very worse of music at the time. We all cried over Chester Bennington together. We strived for change while still respecting the best parts of 2000s emo and better treatment of POC and the LGBTQ+ community within our communities (we still aren’t 100% there but being on this site now makes me believe the alt kids now will do even better than we could). I can’t even get a fraction of all the things 2014-2018 edgy kids went though in this post there’s just so much, so if you’re out there still rotting away here on tumblr.com, and you happen to see this post, PLEASE tell me your fondest memories, your wildest bandom stories, your drama and tea and shade I want it all!! Sometimes I swear just me and my friends went though this weird emo phase and maybe it’s because I’m not on tik tok or instagram but it feels like this era of emo is just so overlooked in favour of classic 2000s MySpace emo (which is ironic because 2010s emos really wanted to be 2000s emos so bad but we just couldn’t bring ourselves to take….certain bands seriously or put raccoon tails in) it’s probably also because there wasn’t just emos, pale grunge and pop punks not dead and ethereal tumblr girls and Hollywood undead wannabes dominated at the time SO WHERE HAVE YOU ALL GONE?!?! YOU CANT HAVE ALL JUST GOTTEN OVER IT AND MOVED ON!

[ravenonice]

Well. The ice ado news suck. I knew it wasn't gonna happen for a few years now I guess...but at least there was this glimmer of hope. And I suppose in the grand scheme of things this is such a silly thing to be genuinely upset about...(over sharing ahead) but yoi was released in literally the hardest time of my life, literally a week after I lost my dad. And it brought me joy and probably helped me to not completely lose my mind. It has been my comfort show ever since.

I rarely get this attached to media. I couldn't tell you my favorite book or favorite movie because those things are so fleeting and I love something else very quickly...but even though my engagement with it differed throughout the years, it always remained a part of me and I always came back to it when I needed it.

I'm not even that into anime anymore as I was as a teenager but I do pay my crunchyroll subscription even if it's just so I can watch yoi whenever i need it...I should get the blue ray honestly it's weird that I never did xD

I think my fondest memory of the yoi fandom was when I went to Frankfurt book fair in 2017 and cosplayed Yuuri. I had ordered his Japan jacket but it took too long to arrive, I was devestated, I was outright panicing. But what could I do? I had to improvise. I got some blue boxers, a white shirt and the ugliest blue tie I could find at tk maxx and went as drunk banquet Yuuri! And I had a BLAST! I think that was by far my most successful cosplay ever and I wish I could share it with you but my sd card broke and I don't have the photos anymore :'( I had so many Viktor cosplayers come up to me, roleplay a little, tell me that they wanted to burn my tie xD It was fun! I even made katsudon piroschki to share with everyone! I also had a hard time leaving bc I got stopped for photos so many times! So if anyone who was at that fair all that time ago remembers me and still has photos, please send them my way <3

So I guess what that teaches me is that I can make the best out of a bad situation :') Well. We just gotta write even more fanfiction now I guess <3

[gcldenchild]

and a little moment of honesty. i’ve had this on my brain for a while but i think it’s good to just get this out of my head where i can, especially since i’ve been welcomed back so warmly with the antics that can happen on dash now.

personal yapping ahead. ye have been warned.

honestly, a large part of my coming back was not only to try and celebrate my muse returning in the ways i saw most comfortable but. also to re-expose myself to my writing peers that are older than me by a good margin.

the fma rpc has a good chunk of folks who have more life experience than me because they’ve been here in fandom spaces longer than i have. i’m not one to worry about age stuff, usually - hell, back in the undertale and mha rpcs when i was still a fairly young teenager i was writing with people older than me and creating some of the fondest memories i could’ve had from those times - but that … that admittedly changed in 2021. for reasons that have definitely - stuck.

it feels bad to admit, but for a good long while i’ve avoided trying to be friends with anyone at minimum six-seven years older than me, let alone more. logically, i knew that made no real sense - especially as an artist and as a writer, because these communities have everyone. but i’d - well what happened in 2021 significantly damaged me and my perspective of people older than me, entirely because i was given a hard black and white of being either a child or an adult, no inbetween, back when i was still just freshly 19 years old.

i was scared. i didn’t want what happened then to happen again. i left, so that i could avoid hurting anyone else - though nowadays i realize how much of a victim mindset that is, that’s besides the point - by being a source of discomfort. i didn’t want to be uncomfortable or make anyone else feel uncomfortable. i kind of vanished from here in an effort to steer my own recovery towards much stronger treatment methods - like therapy - and while it did work, i still … kind of have that lingering fear.

i didn’t want to be hurt then and don’t want to be hurt again. i might still kind of hide myself or hold myself back from things solely because that’s a really hard habit to break. but being welcomed like this and being able to enjoy writing silly things without that fear - it’s nice. i missed it. a lot.

i was scared of people at or nearing their 30’s just because of all of that, and i only had a handful of people i actually trusted who were that age - but it’s been three years now, so i’ve been able to mellow out. granted, with recent realizations i STILL might have some level of distance just out of trauma, but - im better. i’m doing better. i’m being better.

i’ve struggled to feel like a full fledged adult for a long time, but with those realizations in mind, i can finally accept that i’ll probably still be a young adult at heart for … an even longer one. i’m traumatized, and that’s okay. i’ve just switched the age my brain feels stuck at since then so now i have an easier time of dealing with it all.

i was seeking that kind of validation for a long time and now i just … i’m finally getting it, and i feel happy. i don’t feel like there’s anyone to fear. not anymore.

i might still hold some people at arms length now and again, but i promise i’m coming out of my shell more and more now. i won’t need to hide much longer. i just hope people will stay with me even when im done hiding.

this probably doesn’t make much sense. my yapping usually doesn’t make any sense - but it’s important to me, and if you’re reading, thank you for doing so.

thank you for making me feel welcomed again. i hope you’ll stay with me, even if i have my moments where i start to fear everything again (or worse.)

i have to be happy for at least that much.

[kurooscoffee]

What happened with you and cockles?

Hi anon!

Woah an old follower? 😻

Well tbh around 2015 or something I stopped following Supernatural and a bit ater that I only occasionally still checked in on what was going on with both Jensen and Misha. After the 15 x 18 finale, I was a bit more active again and followed at least some actors' news, as well as the whole "jivorce" thing, but mostly through people memeing and content accidentally making it on my Twitter timeline (I stopped using Tumblr, or just checked it really occasonally!).

I'd say that I now still check in on Jensen and Misha, at least when any big stuff happens, and I still consider myself a Cockles truther, at least in some sort of a poly way - it's interesting to see how the dynamics have changed throughout the years. It seems to me that in recent years J&D became much more vocal about their love for Misha - something that "warms the cockles of my heart" quite a lot.

I also have been updated more or less on the whole fiasco with D*niela and JIBcon, it sucks that it ended this way bc Rome was "their special thing" and it won't be the same anywhere else, but with the way that woman has been acting, it's probably for the best.

What else would you like to know dear anon?? :)) I got into a bunch of other fandoms in between as can be seen from my very occasional postings, but Cockles is definitely something I still kind of silently follow and have at least mostly fond memories of (the same can't be said about the show tho :p). But all in all, I made quite a few friends through that fandom, and I still keep in touch with a number of them, so that's th fondest memoriy I'll ever have in regards to SPN! :))

[captainqster]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

This is so cute, thank you for the ask!

My partner/family (namely my mother and sister). I can't rave about my partner enough, he's really just the most sincere, tender-hearted angel you'll ever meet. As for my mother and sister, we didn't have a good relationship until I was into my 20's. I can confidently say now that, god, I love them so much it hurts. They're still nuts though

The ffxiv fandom! This encompasses really all of you, it brings a lot of joy to my daily life just seeing your engagement, your OCs, your art and gpose and writing. This includes my rp partners of course, and I'll give a special shoutout to mine and Gore's Gilya stuff because it's unquestionably been a source of joy for me for quite a while now

Writing. I've been writing since I was a kid. Originals, fanfic, rp. As much as I wish I had the discipline to draw, I'm glad to have this creative outlet. I can't express how amazing it feels to play with words and sentence structure and finish with something I feel good about

My job, oddly enough. It's so much stress and grief but that's because it challenges me, and overcoming those challenges really fulfills me. The people I work with (most of them) are incredible. They're smart, supportive, encouraging, and it's where I met my partner and a handful of close, long-standing friends. It's not the kind of work I ever imagined myself doing or even being capable of. HOWEVER, I am still ready to retire lmfao get me the fuck out of here

Outside. I don't know what else to call it. Camping, kayaking, even just napping in my hammock (but not hiking, to hell with hiking). When I was younger I spent several summers with my friend at her grandparents' place up in the woods. We drove quads everywhere, washed the neighbor's horses, cleaned up the forest floor for fire prevention. I will tell you that hiking uphill with two 44-gallon trash cans full of branches and shit sucks, reaaaally sucks, but those times are some of my fondest memories

[dogstarblues]

20 Questions

got tagged by @artemis-devotee. seemed like fun! ty botan!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

i have 11 works and i can tell you four of those are poetry.

2. What’s your total AO3 words count?

17,831

3. What fandoms do you write for?

on ao3? used to write for the ch**tiverse, still write for Victoria Goddard's Nine Worlds. well, okay im on hiatus from participating in fan stuff bc i got too much going on and i have complicated feelings abt fandom. but. on ffnet? naruto, inuyasha, bleach, fairy tail, danny phantom. i think.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

we have time (love this one - much needed natural hair content in that fandom, much needed)

you can't even see how much you're mine (i'm really proud of this one)

before we have time

just for now

gazing at the sun

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i respond to everyone's comments if i can remember LOL

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

you can't even see how much you're mine. really exorcised my polyamory baggage with that one LMAO

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

mmmmm none of them end poorly but they end heavily, if that makes sense? but also they don't. like most of my fanfiction as an adult in my 30s is discussion of wants and needs in a relationship and hashing out things that need to be talked abt

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have on ffnet when i was a teen and giving every naruto character in my biopunk fanfic like 4 codenames SDKVDFLVMS

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

yuh. "just for now" is smut (old man yaoi). and there's another i think. i wanted to really confront my sex repulsion and explore my own boundaries around what i write.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

naur i never understood crossovers v well. i love an AU tho

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

probably not. on ffnet it was SO goth edgelord and now it's extremely poetic prose. (and when i say POETIC prose i mean it tend to be concise and abstract, not that its purple) who wants that LOL

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

naur

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

yes! my first fanfiction was with my childhood friend Sunshine and we posted a double-self-insert absolute MANIC fanfic set in the world of Inuyasha posted to ffnet. one of my fondest memories. i dictated, she wrote.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

i don't have one these days but i shant say what it used to be only that it made me insane from the time i was 14 to the age of 25.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i had an old man yaoi urban fantasy au wherein a character who used to be the chosen one had been imprisoned and was surviving the trauma of that as a music teacher and i read a ton of prison literature for it and watched documentaries and watched interviews and spent WEEKS researching trauma from incarceration and what it means to be incarcerated (part of this was because my birth father was about to be incarcerated and i was trying to write through my understanding of what he'd be going through) and researching what town councils do. and then a (now former) friend had torn apart the fic paragraph by paragraph during beta and wrote how boring parts were and no one wanted to hear abt me talking abt poetry in the fanfic and it was my FIRST fanfic since i was in my early twenties and i basically deleted the whole thing out of embarrassment and hurt. iykyk who it was. idk if i can ever go back to that. i just don't. i want to but. even strangers in workshops aren't that cruel LOL

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'm a pretty/poetic writer good at relationship shit i think. i'm good at grounding the reader in a sense of place and my writing is very tactile. it's embodied.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i am a pretty/poetic writer

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i know some spanish and a little french and even less russian (i'm like learning that one through osmosis) but it's not v applicable. hmmmm i wouldn't try unless i was fluent.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

inuyasha

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

either the naruto biopunk fanfiction on ffnet (i turned that one into a fanfic from a biopunk short story i had written in high school it's v close to my heart even if edgy) or "you can't even see how much you're mine" bc i put a lot into that or "we have time" because your partner doing your natural hair IS a love language.

if yall wanna hop in i'm tagging @toopunkrockforshul @cadencekismet @markeyverse

[ironh4nds]

in light of today's tragic news, i want to share some of my fondest memories as a fan of buck-tick and atsushi sakurai.

i started listening to buck-tick in 2020. i was isolated due to the pandemic and depressed because my prospects of being able to leave my hometown for college were bleak. their music felt cathartic and was a place where i could release my rage, but also find joy. as of today, they are my 3rd most streamed artist of all time.

i made a DIY buck-tick shirt in my room with puffy paint. i wore it until it no longer fit.

i searched online for any official merch i could find. the only thing i have is a copy of rock and read magazine with sakurai-san on the cover. it is still one of my most prized possessions.

since the buck-tick "online fandom" is relatively small, i felt comfortable considering myself a leader in that community. i created a google form to determine the best buck-tick song of all time. it took hours and admittedly was not formatted in a user-friendly way, but i still got many submissions and enjoyed sharing the results with fans.

for a college class, my sister was given an assignment where she had to explore a music genre she was unfamiliar with. she came to me for help. together, we woke up at 6am to watch one of buck-tick's livestreamed concerts on youtube. i had had a hard time getting her to understand my love of foreign music, but this experience helped her get why i loved this band. it is still a very fond memory for both of us.

i shared buck-tick's music with my friends. i pored over the "this is not greatest site" blog for hours, reading lyrics and anecdotes from og fans. i watched interviews, even if they didn't have captions. i recreated makeup worn by sakurai-san and imai-san on myself. i wanted everyone to know how much i loved this band.

i haven't been active in the fandom for a little while now, but i still have a special place in my heart for bt, and i always will.

i miss sakurai-san already.

it hurts to watch your heroes die.

i'm so happy he got to spend multiple decades doing what he loved. i hope he's still singing "...in heaven..."

[kalostie]

my collection of ghost/misc hcs and thoughts because the brainrot is consuming me. probably ooc but that's ok

he's lactose intolerant. like he'll eat multiple things with cheese and Yes he knows the consequences. does he care? yes. will he stop???? no

regardless he definitely has a thing for baking. he rarely gets the opportunity, but when he's on leave and resting at his little apartment he just has to bake a few cookies. there's a kind old lady a few doors down who greets him every time he comes back. probably bakes something sweet for her

zones out a lot. the 141 quickly learns to leave him be. he can easily clock back in but sometimes it's nice to just be in his own world

i feel like if soap or price needs his attention while he's zoned out, they have a few words that makes him perk up a little

Soap: [something something something] -aking *tea* a-

Ghost: [frog blinks] wh

he knows all the tea lore. if you give him time to open up he can probably give you a whole history lesson on tea. my little idea is that when he was little, his mom would make him some warm tea whenever she was able to. it's still one of his fondest memories

he isn't against coffee but it makes him sleepy sometimes

ghost doesn't have TOO many personal items but he loves his planners. it helps him keep track of everything around him and every year he looks forward to getting a new one (yes he puts a skull sticker on it. maybe even a soap one too)

this is a personal hc but he loves rats and cats. especially rats. they're just so tiny and he likes it when they do their tiny happy wiggles

he doesn't stop cleaning his precious knives until he can see his reflection in them. sharpens them frequently. he'll start cleaning them if he's trying to focus on something

being in 141 gave him a superpower aka "fuckin hell it's 2am why do i feel the need to yell at soap" and hearing pots and pans crashing downstairs

like he'll be thousands of miles from gaz and he gets a random tingly feeling. his eye twitches and he has to take a moment to exhale cause he just has this Gut Feeling gaz fell out of a helicopter again

i think the whole fandom can agree he snores so goddamn loud

i really want him to be allergic to something like honeydew or a veggie just so i can have my representation here LMAO

skeleton night slippers. that's all. maybe skeleton pjs too. soap probably bought them for him for shits n giggles but ghost uses them both frequently now

[sesshmom]

There's creators still in the fandom, still creating the things that they enjoy, regardless of HnY. Those that left could have used this show as their excuse to slip out the back door to explore other interests. Real life has taken back over, and there may be no energy left for fandom activity. From what I've seen, people don't linger for long with new media anymore. It's all about how quickly the source can be absorbed, a mad dash to blow through fic and art, and then they're on to the next popular interest.

I don't understand why a creator would need an excuse to leave a fandom? Unless they are offering commissions no one is telling them what to create.

I do agree that there is a 'TikTok' generation of people who consume media rapidly and then get excited for the next big thing. But that's not who really made up the bulk of the fandom.

Inuyasha is a 20 year old anime with an even longer running manga. I only got to see the fandom explosion here on Tumblr due to The Final Act, but despite the show going off air and the manga completing, there remained a modest dedicated fan base.

Then Hanyou no Yashahime/princess half demon came along and at the beginning there was so much excitement! However you know how that story ended, instead of a renaissance that people were hoping for, we got an apocalypse.

Despite it all I still hold onto some hopes that the fandom will heal and these dedicated fans return or new ones arrive. My post before was to put out a message that there are still people here determined to carry on as if the apocalypse never happened.

Because Inuyasha isn't just an anime. It's part of people's childhoods, it's in their fondest memories, it was an escape from reality, it was part of their favorite memes (AMV's as well) and it helped them find new friends - in my case it helped me find a girlfriend.

It would be really sad to see it die out.

[acacia-may]

LIMITED TIME REOPENING: Rose Garden Headcanons

Hi Everyone! After getting so many fun requests for some new fandoms as part of my mini-playlist game, I'm feeling bad that I didn't have my full fandom list up yet when I ran this event back in February. Also, I have recently gained some new followers (Hello and Welcome! 🥰) who may not have gotten to participate the first time, so...

I have decided to reopen the Rose Garden Headcanon requests for a very limited time: from now until Midnight on Tuesday, March 14 to allow full participation and requests for the expanded fandoms list!

All of the previous rules are the same, just with the fandom list now expanded to include all fandoms listed here and also the understanding that these may take a while as I am still recovering from some bouts of poor health. Thank you all for your patience! All requests will eventually get answered, and I have really enjoyed working on these headcanons when I am feeling up to it, so please don't hesitate to send in your requests.

Also, if you have previously requested for this event please feel free to request again (especially if you'd like some headcanons from a different fandom this time around) 😊

This is the running masterlist of all requests I've currently received for this event (including both posted and pending requests)

🌹Request Rules and Details Under The Cut! Thank you! 🌹

Please choose a character and build a bouquet from the flowers below by following these few rules:

Any characters (or OCs) from any and all fandoms included on this list are fair game for this event so please pick whatever you'd like!

You may select up to 5 headcanons per character, per request

You can mix and match from the various categories (i.e. Noelle Silva: Y3, Y4, P2, R3, and R5) or choose all from the same category (i.e. Leopold Vermillion: Pink Roses).

You may request more than one character and/or can submit more than one request.

Requests may be may anonymously if you wish.

🌹🌹 Thank you so much for your requests! 🌹🌹

YELLOW ROSES [Friendship Headcanons] 💛

Yellow roses symbolize friendship and joy so choose from the list below for some friendship themed headcanons

Y1. What do they consider the most important quality in a friend? What qualities do they bring to a friendship?

Y2. Do they make friends easily and have a lot of friends or are they more selective in their choice of friends and only have a few?

Y3. Have they ever had a best friend? Was there a specific moment when they knew this person was their best friend?

Y4. How do they most like to express love and affection for their friends? Is it the same or different as how they most like to receive affection in return?

Y5. What role do they take in their friend group (i.e. "The Mom-Friend," "The Troublemaker," "The Glue that Holds Everyone Together" ect.)? Is this different than the role they think that they take?

PINK ROSES [Family Headcanons] 💗

Pink roses symbolize admiration and gratitude so choose from the list below for family-themed headcanons (Note: Found Families can and will also be included in this category)

P1. When was a time they felt truly loved by someone in their family?

P2. What is one of their fondest family memories?

P3. How does their family express love to each other in general? (For instance, are they particularly doting, complimentary, or touchy-feely? Do they go all out for birthdays and other special occasions?)

P4. Do they particularly look up to or admire someone in their family? What do they admire about them? On the flip side, does anyone in their family particularly look up to or admire them?

P5. Do they want a family/children of their own one day? What kind of parent would they be, and how would they express love to their children if they had them?

RED ROSES [Romance Headcanons] ❤️

Probably the most iconic of all roses, red roses symbolize romantic love and affection so choose from the list below for romance-themed headcanons

R1. Are they a particularly romantic person? What do they consider to be the ideal romantic gesture?

R2. How would they tell you they loved you? (For instance, would they use words--planned out in a speech or accidentally blurted out? Or would they prefer to show you they loved you through their actions?)

R3. What do they look for in a romantic relationship? What would make them feel the most loved and supported by a significant other?

R4. How would they react to being in love? Would they want to keep it a secret--would they even be able to? Would they be awkward about it or take it all in stride?

R5. What is a love song that really suits them and why?

[haveumetbi]

Hello!

I've been using tumblr for a long time, but only recently I've felt confident enough in my english to actually try to join communities and make friends. 

A little introduction... That is actually kinda really long and I’m not gonna subject y’all to it unless you want to, so here’s the tldr:

I’m an acearo, bi, cis girl (🇺🇸 she/her — 🇧🇷 ela/a).

White latina from Brazil.

I’m disabled and neurodivergent

I love sitcoms, comedy is my fav genre of fiction

and cats

and The Sims

and Turma da Mônica

and hairstyling, braids, make up

and Jane Austen

and Taylor Swift

If you like any of it, follow me!! I’ll definetely follow back. If your curious, read bellow.

I’m a 23 year old college student who is majoring in History. I’m kind of a huge nerd, I love subjects like History (duh), Literature, Politics, Philosophy, Psychology, Religion, but also Comedy (i find fascinating to analyze it, even if that kinda defeats the purpose, sue me). I kinda only watch sitcoms, actually, maybe because of how obsessed I am with the genre (more on that later). 

Being Brazilian I may reblog/talk about Brazillian issues/stuff and most definetely will reblog things about Turma da Mônica (brazil’s most beloved comic book series that shaped the childhood’s of at least 3 generations now since the 60s/70s), my longest autistic special interest. Oh, yeah, I’m also neurodivergent, AuDHD and also have persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia gang rise up! or dont, ik its hard and tiresome) and fibromyalgia.

Another special interest I’m unhinged about is The Sims, I use Tumblr mostly bc of it, so I’ll definitely reblog stuff about it, maybe if everythings works out I will even create a side simblr, who knows. I love historic/fantasy gameplay, would be cool to share with people.

Idk if its a SI or just regular cat owner thing, but I’m definitely obsessed with these little guys. Speaking of cat lover, I love Taylor Swift. Like, I’m very casual about most music I consume, but she is the exception, I just... feel SO MUCH with her songs. Idk, idk... She also makes me feel things on a sapphic way, though I’m no g*ylor or hetl*r (rlly dont care about who she dates, just here for the art). But not in a wow I wanna bang this celebrity I have a crush on, cuz I dont wanna bang no one, cuz I’m acearo. Just, dont swing that way (or any way, really /hj cuz i'm actually gray-bi-romantic but its very rare, so i'm usually not swinging at all lmao).

I really like to read, but it has been tough to keep the habit with depression and disabled adult life knocking at my door and kicking my ass... currently I’m finishing reading all Jane Austen’s work (i love her sense of humor and analyses of human psychology) in portuguese, but I plan to eventually read the original stuff in english. I just really love stories and storytelling as an art form, maybe that’s why I love to write. I’m obsessed with fanfictions, actually, been writing since I was 11, never anything in english, but who knows, actually creating and participating in tumblr may be the first step. I mostly write about tv shows I’m obsessed about (though I did write some Turma da Mônica Jovem fanfiction...... thank god I deleted, it was terrible, tho in my defense I was still a preteen) and I mostly watch sitcoms so.... About that...

My favorite sitcom ever is probably How I Met Your Mother (it was literally what i needed when i was going through a really rough patch) and BoJack Horseman (yes, cartoon sitcoms totally count, shut up). I’d say my first sitcom love was The Simpsons, my biodad had a lot of dvds and tapes from the golden seasons and the fondest memories of my childhood were us watching together and laughing like two idiots. My first fandom was iCarly (i was a preteen okay), but I wasnt a big fan of the revival/reboot (yes I was team seddie, no it has nothing to do with it, I gave it a shot, but just didnt vibe with it). I also love The Office, That 70′s Show, Never Have I Ever, Community, Our Flag Means Death, The Sex Lifes of College Girls, One Day at a Time and The Good Place.

I’m pretty sure the only other shows that I got obsessed with that weren’t sitcoms were Once Upon a Time and Lucifer, two shows that were quite humorous with its wacky premises (fairytales in real life???? the devil taking a vacation in LA??? i mean, c’mon!!). I’m loving the Percy Jackson disney adaptation, it was my favorite YA book series and it always bummed me that the movie adaptation was so terrible, I'm glad we finally have a great adaptation and can't wait for more seasons to come!!!

I’m very talkative (you dont say?? 😮 /s) and a total extroverted that really loves to make friends, but my communication difficulties really do shine on long distance conversation... be phone calls, video calls, emails, text messages etc... So, although I’d love if you shoot me a message, bc I love to make friends, I also am not the best texter, so dont expect someone who always immediately answers you right back cuz they are online — please dont take it personal, it has nothing to do with who is messaging me and everything to do with my disability mkay? And yes, I am trying to work this shit out in therapy, but you know... growth aint linear. When shit hits the fan, the first thing that I lose is the ability to answer text messages 😭 idk i just stare at them, they stare at me, i combust and die, the end. 

Dont know how to end this text, so, I’ll just show a pic of my cat, cuz shes everything. Bye!! 

[setsumushou]

Ahhhh, well, so let's talk about Forest Pussy.

So it did start because I had mentioned wanting to draw a historical/fantasy thing for Roosmav (I come from a background of drawing very whimsical characters/settings - I would probably be in The Witcher fandom now if the Netflix show was any good), and it was actually Fopps who brought up the idea of Forest Pussy. And that was really exciting for me because I had always wanted to have more things in common with her, and honestly, that brief time we had planning that AU in its initial stages was one of my fondest memories.

I wish I could have access to that conversation now, but she actually came up with the "Forest Pussy" moniker because I had said something like "Forest omega!Mav with a Pussy," and she abbreviated it to "Forest Pussy" - that was honestly so big-brained! I'm glad I was able to tell her while I could, but she was just a fun-as-hell person to be around, even if our erections aren't exactly aligned...but honestly, my erection doesn't align exactly with anyone's. None of my friends - save one - share my slavering passion for my specific brand of bottom!Bradley, either.

But I get that her heart has never been in twink!Cruise (she likes twink!Bradley, lol), and I would never again want to force anyone into doing things that they aren't interested in. That definitely was a huge mistake of mine last year - me trying to push people into doing stuff that, if I want to have done, I should just do for myself. To be fair, at the time, I had felt like they were my friends, so it just felt like an encouraging my friends thing to me, but I understand now that I had probably come off as pretty annoying.

But the fact remains that I still have my fantasy of drawing for some sort of Roosmav historical/fantasy thing, and I get that I can no longer do that for Forest Pussy because neither of its authors want to talk to me anymore, and I respect that and don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable with unwanted interactions. I'm sad about it, of course, because both of them were super nice to me in the brief time we were able to talk, but I respect their feelings. And I'm grateful that they were able to write things that I would have never been able to write myself (omg, I cannot write twinks to save my life - not twink!Mav, not twink!Bradley - I have found that I am a masc4masc girlie, after all, much to @unrealwasteland's disappointment xD) - so I know Forest Pussy is in good hands, even without my involvement.

SO - I have to make up my own shit now. Somehow. The cringey part is definitely me and my utter lack of writing ability trying to write things that I can draw for myself, but it is what I have to do now if I want to make my own dreams come true. I'm James Cameron: and I have to write, draw, direct, and produce my own shit now.

As I have said before, this has all been incredibly character-building, and even if I can't achieve my own goals, I think I will learn a lot in the process of trying. :3

[fullunadulteratedarchive]

hey i’ve moved but not really but yes i have

i’m leaving this blog as an archive but going to be (hopefully sorta more) active on my new art blog which is basically... exactly... the same name...

i know pretty much everyone followed me here for RTAH art but heads up it’s not very likely i’ll be drawing much of that anymore, so if you like my art in general feel free to follow my new art blog >>

https://fullunadulteratedart.tumblr.com

and if not no worries, i had a lovely time with you all, hope you’re all doing well, see ya round!

[hoodoo12]

Thinking Of You

It's a good thing friends in the fandom 1) support my craziest, dumbest brainstorming ideas, and 2) hold me accountable.

Mature. Beetlejuice x reader.

Enjoy!

“Hey. There’s a package for you at the front desk.”

“A what? A package? What package?”

Your coworker shrugged.

Confused, you walked to the reception area. Brittany saw you coming and squealed in a voice that was completely unprofessional, “Look! You lucky duck! You got flowers! That’s so sweet! I never get flowers!”

Who in the hell would send you flowers?

“Open it!” Britt exclaimed, clapping her hands after she shoved the box at you.. Then, in a faux pout, she needled, “You never told us you have a boyfriend! You thought you could keep it from us, but then he sent you flowers--”

The thin box felt heavy enough to contain roses, and even through the cardboard their scent wafted through. Popping the tape fastening the box closed, you opened it.

It was roses, all right. Their woody stems seemed mostly okay, but the flowers themselves had lost some color in their wilted state. The petals were brown along their wrinkled edges, and a couple had flopped over like sad cartoon flowers. Some of leaves had mold on them. Their distinctive scent came from the beginning stages of their rot, not because they were fresh. 

Brittany’s face, wide-eyed with excitement, fell. “Oh no! It must have been too hot in the delivery van! That’s too bad, they looked like they would have been really pretty! You’ll have to tell your boyfriend. At least he sent a card!”

Before she could be bold enough to snatch it out of the box, you grabbed it. 

Despite it being in your hand, she followed it with her eyes. Years of working with professionals whose penmanship was less than legible gave her the superhuman power to read the writing on it. Even when this writing was worse than abysmal.

“Love you! BJ,” she read aloud, before looking back up at you. “BJ? His name is BJ?” “Uh. Yeah,” you mumbled, then made a lame excuse about having to get back to your desk because you left a client on hold. 

At least you’d been quick enough to close the box on the withered roses before she could see the ribbon still tied around them emblazoned with “In Fondest Memory.” You didn’t want the opportunity to find out if she was astute enough to realize they’d been filched from a gravesite.

⁂

“YOU GOT ANOTHER PACKAGE!” 

Grimacing, you jerked the phone away from your ear as Brittany’s voice rang through it. With a sigh, you muttered an acknowledgement that you’d be right there and set the receiver back into the handpiece.

More flowers. You’d thanked Beetlejuice for the unexpected surprise at work; he’d preened like a peacock and told you you’d deserved every single one of those roses he’d found, that you were the best, that he was glad your coworkers could finally see that you had a normal, regular partner, that those posies weren’t the only surprise he had for you, winkwink--

Later you found he’d kept one of the roses. He’d shoved it down the front of his pants, and presented it to you like it was dewey fresh, instead of smashed and falling apart. “Another for the lady,” he’d said. “There’s plenty more where they came from.”

Still touched he’d thought about you at all, you’d accepted it too. And the hardcore pounding that followed soon after because he’d been “thinking about you all day and had a raging boner.”

There was the Beetlejuice you knew so well. Afterward, you guessed you were glad he had put some actual effort into the gift hadn’t just charged for flowers and delivery on your credit card. 

But now here were more. This box felt even heavier. Oh god, was he raiding funeral homes now? You gave an internal sigh of relief that it wasn’t a casket spray draped over Brittany’s desk. That would be just like Beetlejuice: showy, over the top, trying so hard but being just plain weird. All the reasons you liked the ghost, but also all the reasons you did your best to keep him and your normal, outside-the-house life separate--

“Well?! Don’t leave me in suspense!” Brittany demanded.

With a sigh she could hear this time, you tilted the box to get a nail under the tape. Whatever was in there shifted, and alarmingly, the box started buzzing. 

“What is that? Oh! Is it, like, one of those card you can record a message on? Or a recording inside a teddy bear?!”

“More likely a bunch of bees,” you muttered. “Probably some dumb pun about me being his honey or something . . .”

Brittany gave you a puzzled look. You ignored her and were much more cautious about easing the box open.

Good thing too, because you were able to close it again quickly, without her getting a chance to peek and see what was inside. 

“Well?!” your co-worker squawked.

A blush that you hoped wasn’t super noticeable--or if it was, you hoped it looked like anger and not embarrassment--made your cheeks hot.

“It’s--private! Sorry Britt, I’m going to have to run this to, uh, my car! I’ll be back quick!”

You bodily dodged her and her questions to hurry through the reception area and out the front door. You willed yourself to just hold onto the shaking box until you made it to the safety of your car. Only then did you fully open the box and see all the vibrators Beetlejuice had loaded into the cardboard. And for padding he used . . . your panties?! And a pair of his ratty briefs. 

For the love of . . . 

Clicking the button on the vibrator that had accidentally turned on, it cycled through slow, medium, fast, and extra fast before shutting off. There was no separate note; he’d taken the time to write directly on the inside of the lid. 

“Baby, you shake up my world!” he’d sloppily written. Beetlejuice had obviously changed his mind after he wrote it: The word “pulsate” had a line drawn through it and “shake” was below the rest of the sentence. Seeing the effort taken for the revision made you smile. “I can’t wait to shake yours tonight! I licked every one of these to get them ready for you.”

Several hearts and smiley faces were drawn too. If he had the artistic talent to draw something dirty, you had no doubt he would have.

It was the thought that counted. Right? That didn’t mean you weren’t going to sit down and have a talk with him about appropriate ‘gifts’ and what was and was not to be sent to your place of work. Of course that would mean he may find other spots to hide surprises, but a black and white striped tentacle-shaped vibrator found in your bed, or hell, even the couch, would be much more welcome than out in public where, you know, you could potentially be fired.

You’d tell him all that. You’d make him understand. Help him learn more about a suitable time and place for gift giving.

First, though, you’d let him use some of these vibrators on you--and in the interest of being fair, you’d use some on him!--tonight. You know, to be polite and appreciative of him thinking of you.

fin!

[voltagesmutter]

Lucifer x MC - Simultaneous Orgasm.

Pairing: Lucifer x MC (F).

Fandom: Obey Me.

Prompt:  Masturbation || Simultaneous orgasm || Nipple play

Warning: First time, virgin sex, fluff, pining, angst, drunk mc and Lucifer, internal cum-shot, hand job, oral, fingering, vaginal sex, Lucifer being a pussy because of his pride.

Fourth entry of @alloveroliver​ kinktober. This is a long one boi’s and girls.

Thank you to my beloved @theinariakuma​ for putting up with my needy ass on changing my plot-line every two minutes💛

Dusk settled in quickly leaving a darkening tone of mid-night blue hues in the sky. The moon was as clear as ever, beaming down to cast light as a guideway across the hedged pathway. A tall male with eye’s of amber and a young girl blossoming into the early stages of womanhood walked side by side, shoulders occasionally brushing against each other whilst a light buzz of tipsiness was shared between them.

“You really were the belle of the ball this evening,” Smiling as he so rarely did. Lucifer the strong born avatar of pride keeping a watchful eye at the girl besides him.

“Oh why thank you kind sir,” She laughed, flattening the front of her dress with her hands as they walked, “But I owe all credit to Asmo for this one, saying something about-“.

“-The colour standing strong, making your eyes pop?” Finishing her sentence as his right arm bumped against her left shoulder. The height difference a few feet between them. 

“Exactly what he said! Oh god, was he telling everyone, is that why everyone was staring?” He could sense the bashfulness in her voice.

“They were staring because you look so captivating, and no he didn’t tell me,” His hand brushing against hers as they bumped against each other again, “I just noticed it really accentuated them, almost blinding to look at”. His neck turning slightly to watch the blush rise of her cheeks as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, a motion she always did when she felt shy. Praise from Lucifer was rare. 

“You're drunk, you're just teasing me!” She whispered. This time when their hands brushed Lucifer intertwined his fingers over hers, merging together as their palms connected with interlaced fingers.

“Unlike my brothers I am able to hold my liquor,” He laughed, although neither of them were close to sober. Referencing to the fact his several younger brothers were currently causing havoc with their drunken antics in the ball that was still occurring. Mammon whined at Beelzebub for eating all the good food, Asmo attempting to kiss everybody he saw, Satan and Leviathan having a dance off whilst Belphegor judged. All six of them enjoying the festivities of the summer ball, a ball to celebrate the final day of R.A.D and the ending of the exchange student program. Only, none of them except Lucifer knew that tomorrow the young girl would be sent back home. Both of them enjoying what would be their night together, her not knowing it would be her last night in Devildom. Both of them including the brothers made hasty advantage of the free demonus and champagne service. The pair now leaving both giggly and gleeful, a playful wave of drunkenness between them.

A cough followed his words as he asked her if she’d enjoyed her time. The silent question he didn’t ask of if she’d enjoyed her time with him.

“I’ve loved every second, you're all such wonderful people, well demons!” She beamed before reeling off her favourite memories. Her fondest of the day they all went to the beach, of spending the day relaxing with Lucifer whilst the others played three vs three polo in the sea. Admiring in awe how he tutted at their antics but could see he wanted to be involved, pride being too stubborn to be seen having boisterous fun. How he sipped on Devil-colada’s with a magazine in hand, flicking through pages. How he melted into the sand with relaxation, finally able to spend a day just being himself. What she didn’t tell him was it was that day she’d fallen in love with him. 

“My brothers adore you,” Lucifer gripped her hand a little squeeze. His chest pounding as the velvet tie around his neck felt tighter, “I adore you,”.

“I really like you too, Lucifer, thank you ever so much for this evening. I had the most wonderful time,” Her stomach in slight knots as Lamentation house started to appear before them. Her time with Lucifer was running short and she wanted nothing more than this night to continue forever. 

“It was an honour to have you on my arm, to call you my date even,” His words full of pride, meaning everything he said.

When news of the ball had been announced, all the brothers had lept on the chance to ask her to attend with them. But she only had one man in mind to take her, Lucifer. And to her surprise he did ask to go, ‘For the sake of the realm and Diavolo’s reputation’ he insisted but really he wanted her to himself. To keep her, to claim her, to make her his own. 

He wore a red shirt with a black waistcoat, tucked into black tight trousers with a cape, red on the inside whilst ebony black broadcasted on the outside. Decorated in honours and medals he’d established during his time serving. Embroidered details of gold peacock feathers paired with his outfit. Dashing to say the least.

She wore a ruby coloured dress, one that clung to the curves of her breasts whilst dipping slightly between the valley of them. Lucifer feeling the heat rise within him to see the low curve of her back, the outfit indicating she was braless underneath it. Enough to enhance her figure but able to leave some to the imagination. Whilst the skirt of it fell tightly to her body before grazing just on the top of her ankles with a knee high split up the left side. Far different from her usual R.A.D uniform, seizing the opportunity to dress up and flaunt the curvaceous figure she had been blessed with. 

“I’m surprised you could dance so well!” She giggled softly, smiling at the memories of not even hours ago. Lucifer's strong arms encircling her as he led her in a waltz across the room, stepping perfectly together in a balance against the music of the live band. One hand holding her own whilst the other held her waist in a respectable manner, until her head fell against his chest, embraced in his warmth as they fitted together perfectly like two pieces of a puzzle. 

“Why does that surprise you? I am a man of many talents,” Holding open the front door of the house, hand’s never parting as they entered the silent house. “What’s so funny?” Lucifer turned to feel her hand pull away gently, her stopping to stand in place in the living room, just beside the old-leather sofa where she simply giggled.

“Do you remember… this is where we met for the first time and you-”.

“-And I threatened to eat you,” A chuckle escaped from his throat at the memory, taking a step-forward to stand in front of her. “I remember it like yesterday, this small bundle of energy causing chaos with her bright doe eyes,”. The same eyes staring up at him now as he slowly brought a hand up to her face, mimicking the action she’d done with her hair earlier to push it behind her ear. For the first time in devildom history, Lucifer had not worn gloves out, wanting to savour the touch of skin as he held the girl whilst they danced. To feel the warmth of her properly against him.

“Do you still think that now?” Her words followed through parted breaths, an almost softer than normal tone. The bob of his adams apple was visible as he swallowed thickly, the way her eyes gleamed beneath her thick lashes as his hand slowly rested on the side of her cheek. His heart rate slowly increases to feel the softness of her skin against the flat of his palm.

“Now I see a beautiful woman, who’s the purest of joy and would do anything for others, a true credit to herself-” This time she cuts him off. Leaning up she presses a kiss to his lips, her tongue gently grazing over his through his shocked-parted lips. 

“Sorry I-”. Lucifer cupping her face with both hands and kissing her back, this time both of them working their lips over each others. Her fingers sought comfort in his raven hair, pulling him down deeper as his tongue twisted against hers in a feisty passion. 

“Mph!” She moaned into his mouth, eyes open wide as a pressure applied to her bottom lip. Lucifer taking between his teeth and tugging it; releasing it with a wet pop as they parted. 

“Luci…” Eyes swimming in a pool lust beneath hooded lids. A thick string of saliva breaking from their lips. Arousal thick in the air, an unspoken lust that had slowly bubbled between them during the last year until finally spilling over. 

“I don’t know how to explain how you make me feel but,” His hands moved down, one to cradle the back of her neck whilst the other held her waist. 

“I love you, Lucifer I love you,” Pulling him down once more to kiss him, more passion, more need than the ones before. Both of them clinging to each other, deepening their kiss until breathing apart for air.

“I love you too,” A confession, one Lucifer had felt for months but wouldn’t have admitted if both of them were entirely sober. But nevertheless in their drunken haze, he proclaimed how he felt. Either of them unable to deny the feelings that lingered heavily between them. 

This time their kiss knocked the air out of both of their lungs. The arm holding her waist pulling her closer until their body’s flushed together, noses gliding against each other as their mouths worked in perfect sync with each other. A spark within both of them lit, the feeling of everything falling perfectly into place. Neither of them able to hide the arousal clear in their actions or eyes. 

“Do you- do you want to come to my room?” Biting her lower lip, fingers losing their grip in his hair to mess with the collar of his shirt, slowly popping the top button. A gesture, a beckoning, a plea in her eyes. 

“Are you sure?” His voice wavering as he circled his thumb on her waist. 

“Yes I- I want you Lucifer,” Whilst he could see the nerves and hear them in her voice, the way her eyes kept calm, he knew that she meant it. “Please,”. Without words he gave her nod, both of his hands settling on her back where the zipper of her dress lay. 

“Not here,” She whispered, feeling the pressure of the zipper open, Lucifer slowly tugging down the metal. His eyes never moved from hers as the material over her breasts slowly fell down, exposing her bare chest to him. Herself slightly blushing due to the lack of bra, one not able to fit under the dress she had worn. The first man to ever see her like this. Reaching around behind her, she brought one of his hands to her front, cupping her left breast with his palm. And just as he went to break their gaze, to gently fondle her mound, she stepped back. Her hands cupping her own breasts as the dress rested on her waist, “My room”. 

His hands buried themselves in her hair, moving to her waist, touching her, kissing her from her to forehead to her nose, her lips and cheek. Her fingers hastily undoing his tie, throwing it to the floor of the corridor along with his cloak. 

“Lucifer!” She squealed with a giggle, his smirk against her neck as he attacked her with kisses down the column of it. Sucking fiercely against a spot that made her gasp, as he pushed her to the wall. His knee between her legs as she subtly grinded against it, the friction just enough to satisfy her growing need for now. Deft fingers undid the buttons of his waistcoat, peeling it off for his shirt to quickly follow. His hands never left her waist as he pushed off the remaining fabric of her dress. Bare chests pressed against each other, lucifer unable to hold back the groan to feel her pert nipples against him. A trail of clothes leading from the living room to her bedroom, his trousers and her dress the last thing outside her door. 

Their hands all over each once more as Lucifer cradled her close, kicking the door shut behind him. Sloppy kisses paired with moans as his hands cupped her breasts, gently squeezing them. Brushing him thumbs over her nipples, stroking them as she moaned into his mouth. Her own hands run up the smooth planes of his abdomen, taking in very tiny detail and defining muscle that lay hidden beneath his normal wear.

“You're so beautiful,” His lips moved to her jaw, creating a wet trail down her neck, a few bites here and there to leave a mark upon her skin. 

“Oh!” She gasped when his mouth took a nipple, puckering the small bud in a wet pop. Moving to the other as her fingers gripped his hair. His hands cupping the round of her ass to pull her against him, his arousal apparently clear as his erection dug into her thigh. Straining against the black briefs of his boxers, an undeniable mouth watering sight.  

-

“L-lucifer!” Her back arching at the first bold lick of his tongue against her wet heat. A trail of love bites creeping up the inner of her thigh. The soft cotton panties she wore flung to the floor.

“I want you to be my first,” She’d told him.

He knew she was pure, almost like the white of snow. But the feeling of her walls gripping over his digit as he pushed a finger into her tight core made his heart swell with pride. To be her first. To be the first to bring her to an orgasm, being the reason she trembled in pleasure. 

“Have you ever touched yourself?”.

“A.. a little, but not much, I get too sensitive and stop before I can finish,”. 

Like a blushing bride. His, blushing virgin human.

Pride beaming from the inside as two fingers thrusted in and out of her, the quickening flicker of his tongue over her clit to feel her walls tighten over him. The repeated whimpers of his name as she gripped his hair, guiding him as her hips bucked against his face. Another finger joined them, Lucifer in his best efforts to prepare her. Eyes rolling to the back of her head as she came with a loud moan. Completely undone for the man she loved. 

Her head dropped back against the array of pillows on her bed, Lucifer slowing his fingers as he lapped up her essence. Placing lingering kisses to her clit before pulling away. Groaning heavily at the sight before him; her hair sprayed out like a halo, a film of sweat upon her skin, chest rising and falling quickly as her breath slowly returned to normal, thighs still shaking slightly as her hands freed their grip from his hair. Breathtaking was all he could think of as he kneeled up between her parted thighs. 

Crawling back over her as the mattress creaked with their weight, heated kisses followed by bated breaths. Her palm running down the smooth of his back, squeezing the plump of his back side with a glee-full giggle. Lucifer smiling into the crook of her neck at her playful-ness. 

His ego swelled at the gasp that left her mouth to find what lay beneath his boxers. Far bigger in girth and length than a human cock, a swollen head leaking against her stomach, thick veins pulsing from base to tip. 

His cock the same size of his pride, monstrous. 

The softness of her fingers as she grazed over it, peaking in curiosity to rub against his leaking slit, collecting the pearling bead and bringing it to her lips. Her tongue lapping out to taste it, salty but completely addictive. Lucifer groaned at the sight of her pink flesh kitten licking her finger, fingers twitching as he grabbed the pillows beside her head. Self-control slipping away quicker and quicker with each passing second. Her petit hand barely wrapped around him, her eyes flicking between the face in front of her and her moving hand as she slowly stroked him, focusing on where he groaned most from her action. 

“A-am I not doing it right?” Her voice panicked when his head collapsed against her chest, restricting her movements as he gently pulled her hand off of him. 

“I-If you keep going, I’ll end up finishing too quickly,” His face red, his body purely weak for the little human that lay beneath him. Settling themselves into position, Lucifer resting between her thighs as she spread her legs, the soles of her feet flat against the mattress as her knee’s bent up. 

“Make me yours Lucifer,” Wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down to kiss her. One hand holding her waist as the other guided himself to press against her, taking his time to slow push into her. 

“I love you,” He whispered over and over agains, peppering kisses to her lips, cheek, jaw and neck, trying his hardest to distract her from the discomfort. Whenever she made a whimper or noise, he stopped, waiting for a nod from her before continuing. “You're doing so well,” He groaned out against her, a little over half of him inside her. But the way she was panting already beneath him, he was worried she wouldn’t be able to take much more.

“All of you, I want to feel all of you Lucifer,” Her breath hitched when she felt him slowly pull back. Whilst the stretch was unpleasant, the feeling of being one with him completely rid the pain. The last of him was a struggle, girthier at the base, slowly inching until he was fully sheathed inside her. 

They stilled with no rush, her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes screwed up trying to hold back the slight tears forming. Lucifer panting into her neck, the tightness of her walls pulsing harshly against the intrusion on him. Never had sex felt so intimate to him, an array of emotions taking over him. The beauty of her beneath him, a glow to her skin, the racing of her heart that could be heard echoing against her chest. Love radiating inside him, taking over his pride as he pulled back to admire her beneath him. 

“Are you okay?” Bringing a hand to cup her face, her eyes slowly opening as she nodded.

“You- you can move, it’s okay,” She reassured him, stroking his back softly.

The first few thrusts were as slow as when he pushed into her, until finally her walls stopped gripping him so tightly. The first moan came from her when he pulled back and thrusted a little harder into her, a motion that Lucifer continued to repeat. 

“Oh… Oh Lucifer,” Her fingers lightly running up his back as his pace picked up, rolling his hips into hers. “Deeper… Deeper, Lucifer please,”. Her hands moved to push his chest, rolling their position to push Lucifer on his back, her straddling him as they kept connected. 

“I- Are you sure about this,” Slightly speechless as she rolled her hips, his hands resting on her thighs. Red tinted his face from the alcohol and her slight dominance. Her movements fluid as a string of ‘Yes’s’ fell over and over. Both of them were thankful for her monthly horse riding lessons as she lifted herself before rolling her hips down over and over. 

“Oh god...Lucifer!” Her hands splayed on his chest for support, back arched with her head thrown back. His hands ghosting over her ass and waist, in awe of the way her body moved. Seductive and lustful yet still with that sweet persona that everyone in Devildom fell in love with. Her breathes grew rapid with each bounce over him, hers breasts thrusting with each movement. The wet sound of slapping skin ringing through the silent house, each movement bringing them closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy. Lucifer was already there, she was close.

Leaning up he caught a nipple in his mouth, catching it between his teeth as he tugged gently. A whimpering moan fell from her mouth, her walls tightening as she dug her nails into his chest. 

“Lucifer!” Repeating his name like a sinful mantra, his hands cupping her ass once more as he brought one to thumb her clit. The push she needed to be sent over the edge. Her release spurring on his own, spilling deep inside her as she pushed down until he was hilted inside her. Her name was on his lips as she repeated his, a cry that parted the heavens as pleasure took over. A warmth of fuzz spreading across her body, toes curling as she gasped, jaw-slacked giving into the sinful desire with him. 

-

Nuzzled up against him in the shirt he retrieved from the corridor, his boxers on her as his arm wrapped around her waist. Holding her for the first and last time. She slept peacefully, glowing with content. Lucifer watching the rising and falling of her rest. His pride swelling but also weeping at the same time, knowing what morning would bring. The heartache that would entail, her returning home with no choice. And whilst he brushed her hair softly, he could already feel the throb in his heart at the thought of pushing her away to ensure she left. Whilst she didn’t know her ending would be tomorrow at the household, Lucifer did. For if not a war could be caused amongst the humans and pride disallowed him to put his needs first. So for a little while longer he held his human close, kissing her shoulder softly and savouring ever touch. For in the morning, she belonged back to the human world and Lucifer had to prepare himself for the harsh reality that would happen. 

-

“Mmm...good morning,” She yawned, turning around in her bed but to find herself alone. The warmth that held her in the night long gone but the musky smell of oak and leather still lingered on the pillow next to her. Sitting up, a pleasant ache in her thighs, a mixture of essence dried upon the top of her thighs. That and his clothes she wore being the only evidence of their night together. 

“Luci-“ She started but a shout from outside her door, the sound of a plate smashing to the wall stopped her. With little care she climbed out of bed, running out of her room and calling for him.

“Lucifer?”... “Lucifer!”, “Luci…”.

“-fer…” Her words stopping as she ran into the living room, all seven of the brothers in there along with Simeon and Barbatos. Lucifer stood nearest to her, a plate smashed at his feet, Beelzebub being held back by Mammon and Asmo. The rest of the brothers standing around him, whilst Simeon and Barbatos stood in the middle.

“Lucifer… what’s going on?” Taking a step towards him, his eyes refusing to meet her gaze as he looked at the floor.

“It’s time princess, it’s time to go home,” Simeon pulling her gaze away. Confusion on her face.

“I- I don’t understand… I thought I had the choice to stay… I-“ She took another step towards Lucifer, reaching out but he pulled his arm away from her.

“It’s been decided by the council that your time is up, you need to pack and go,”... “You have an hour,” Lucifer still not meeting her eyes as Barbatos spoke.

“I- But no, Lucifer tell them there’s a mistake,” She pleaded, “Diavolo-“.

“Diavolo has no say over the council, now stop this and pack,” Lucifer finally speaking up, unable to witness the look of hurt on her face.

“Lucifer… I… but last night I,” Her voice dropped into a whisper as she grasped into his arm, tugging at the sleeve of his shirt. This time he wasn’t fast enough to pull away.

“Last night changes nothing,” Nothing but coldness in his eyes as he finally turned to look at her.

“You said.. you said you loved me,” The hurt visible in her eyes, her grip of her hand tightening on him.

“A drunk mistake, how could I, a demon, fall in love with a human,” Practically spitting the words out, his heart clenching to say them. 

“Did you mean it,”.

“I already-“.

“For fuck sake Lucifer did you mean it, or was it just a rouse to get me into bed,” Anger and hurt taking over her tone, the remainder of the room staying silent.

“It was something that never should have happened on both of our parts, you should be less concerned about spreading your legs and go pack-“.

“Lucifer!” All of his brothers yelled, Satan darting across the door to reach for him in a fury.

A slap echoed across the room, ricocheting off the walls. Lucifer hearing the sound before the harsh sting spread across his cheek. Her hand colliding with the jaw line she was kissing only hours ago. Lucifer turning to see her face, her biting her lip like she had done during the night, only this time not in pleasure but in pain. Trying to hold back the tears from his words. She didn’t make another word, fleeing as she sobbed. 

“The fuck Lucifer? The fuck!” Satan shoving Lucifer, no-one stopping him. 

“Back off Satan! She has to go and you know it,” Lucifer barked.

“You knew! You knew they was going to make her leave and you slept with her! How the fuck could you do that!” Belphegor stepping in, an anger from him that had never been seen before.

“Just shut up! You have no idea what this concerns,” Lucifer arguing back, Satan continuing to push him until he was pressed against the wall.

“You told her you love her! Your sick Lucifer, sick!” Levithan stepping from behind Beel.

“Did you do it just to sleep with her?” Asmo perked up, “Even I wouldn’t go that low,”.

“She’s our human just as much as yours Lucifer, how could you do that to her,” Mammon huffing, loosening his grip on Beel to let him free.

“Your a fucking prick,” Beel snarling as he and his brothers stalked towards Lucifer. Demonic anger pulsing from each and everyone of them. All six of them caging him on the spot as Simeon and Barbatos watched without a word. Everyone knew how deeply the brothers cared for the human girl, their anger evidently clear towards their older brother for his actions.

“If I tell the truth she won’t go!” Lucifer finally growled after taunting threats from the others, nipping away at him until he finally broke, “If I… tell her how I really feel, she won’t leave and that imposes a dangerous threat to Diavolo,”. Whilst Lucifer was not a man to speak his emotions, the conflicting struggle of what he faced was clear in his voice and features. “She has to go, it’s better for her to go with a broken heart, it’s easier this way,”.

“Did you even ask Diavolo if she could stay?” Belphegor turned to look at Barbatos who shook his head in silence.

“No, Diavolo would never allow it, his reputation is too important for a human too-” Lucifer’s words reigniting his brothers anger.

“Will you stop talking with your pride for once and just do something for yourself!” Satan hissed. The brothers left the room, all except Mammon who stood back for a while.

“I don’t think the others will forgive you for this Lucifer,” The second eldest watching as Lucifer brushed off the wrinkled marks of his jacket.

“Then they are fools, they all know the rules. She had a year and it’s up,”.

“You know you're a real smug git,” Mammon scoffing, “Telling you love her to sleep with her Lucifer. Do other people’s emotions mean so little to you that you’ll just use them to boost and satisfy your pride?”. Mammon didn’t give him a chance to answer, turning his back and leaving. Simeon and Barbatos following him, none of them able to even look at Lucifer.

“But I do love her…” Lucifer admitting his feelings out loud in a whisper to the silent room, three words he longed to say but couldn’t.

-

“And promise me you’ll look after yourself!” Her voice trembling as she tried to hold back the tears but the occasional one ran down her cheek.

“I promise cutie! Oh I’m going to miss you, who else is going to listen to my weekly date catch ups now?” Asmo pouted as she kissed his cheek. Moving to her right, she cupped Beel’s face.

“My baby Beel,” She started but neither of them could speak, Beel throwing his arms around her and pulling her to his chest. 

The brothers all inline as she said her goodbyes, a fist bump for Mammon, a high-five for Leviathan, a forehead kiss for Satan, Asmo a kiss on the cheek, Beel a hug and a squeeze of Belphegor’s hand. All that who was left was-

“I hope your time here has-“ Lucifer extended his hand out. Staring up into his eyes, her normal colour now dull and full of darkness. Nothing resembling the way she looked at him last night. She turned from him with her bag in hand, not giving him anything more as she followed the two who came to collect her out of the Lamentation household. Leaving behind her second family and the man who stole and broke her heart.

-

It was coming up to nearly four months since the girl had left and things were returning back to normal. Back to normal for Lucifer anyways. The brothers had quickly gotten over their period of grief for the girl, falling back into their mischievous ways faster than Beel could devour an all-you-can-eat buffet. Lucifer however, he needed time. Life just wasn’t as vibrant for him as it was when she was there, no more infectious laughter ringing through the house, no cups of tea placed in his office when he had stacks of work to do, no lingering presence as she sat in the corner of his office with a book whilst he did work just basking in the silent moment between them. 

At times he felt like he was going mad, his eyes playing tricks to see women who looked so similar from a far as her. His nose betrayed him to think he could still smell her fragrance and subtle warmth in the house when he returned home. His dreams plagued like nightmares to see their night together replaying over and over, only waking up in a sweat to find his bed empty with no means of ever being able to see her again.

His brothers had grown more distant than before, all of them still unforgiving of how he treated the girl. Life was more lonely for Lucifer than ever before, throwing himself into the pits of work. He’d given up his chance of happiness for the sake of the realm, he would be damned if he didn’t give it everything he had. 

-

The air was warm on the summer day, Lucifer pacing back and forth outside Diavolo’s office, an important stack of documents requiring the prince’s signature urgently. 

“I apologise for keeping you waiting, I have some matters that needed my attention,” Diavolo opened the door, allowing Lucifer in.

“No need to apologise my lord, I have the documentation the council has required, about the new human relationship ambassador,” Lucifer taking his place beside Diavolo, placing the documents on his desk.

“I see, and did you read these documents?” A twinkle just bright enough for Lucifer to notice in his eyes.

“No my lord, these are for you, I would never pry into your work,”.

“Tch, live a little Lucifer.” An eye roll for the Prince, “I hope you don’t mind waiting, the ambassador has finished their training last week and officially starting today, they will be coming by my office anytime and I feel good practise for you two to meet,”. 

“I apologise, my lord, but I have dedications to my brothers today, it appears Mammon and Asmo decided to ditch kitchen duty to go on a model photoshoot, leaving Beel in charge and as you can suspect there is nothing foodwise left,”. 

Diavolo let out a chuckle, “Their young Lucifer, let them enjoy themselves,”.

“But if it pleases, I can stay,”.

“No, no, go, go be with your brothers,” Diavolo waving his hand as if to shoo him off. Lucifer bowed before exiting.

-

“Diavolo,”. … “Diavolo.” Each time Lucifer yelled he banged his fist upon the oak door of Diavolo’s room. Normally he wouldn’t dare but after hearing the rumours a human had taken the role of ambassador, Lucifer had rushed straight over first thing in the morning to find out the meaning of this. 

A soft whimper followed by a ‘Fuck Diavolo’ came from the other side of the door, Lucifer taking a step back with a red huge of embarrassment on his face. During all his time serving he’d never known Diavolo to have a sexual partner. Embarrassed at the situation, Lucifer turned to leave but the latch unlocking on the door stopped him. Diavolo stepped out in nothing but a pair of sweatpants , his toned abdomen glistening with sweat and his apparent arousal clearly visible.

“I-I apologise my lord… I- I’ll come back later,” Lucifer mortified to have disrupted his ruler.

“It’s fine, just some early morning breakfast,” Diavolo, using the back of his hand to wipe the wetness slicked over his chin and jaw away. “What’s so urgent?”.

Lucifer cleared his throat, “I came about the rumours, is it true a human is the ambassador?”.

Diavolo nods, “Yes she’s a human“.

“A human? Diavolo? Really, I thought you knew better than this, bringing a human into the council” Lucifer's voice rising slightly, his eyes piercing against golden ones.

“Lucifer its not-“.

"Dia." 

The voice sounded vaguely familiar to Lucifer... Could it possibly be? It had been a few months, and sometimes things did change. He wanted nothing more than to barge in and see who it was. 

"Lucifer." Diavolo's voice was frustrated. The Prince only got so much time alone like this with his hidden companions. So, unless Lucifer would begin offering himself up for his needs, he needed to go. "Wait in the Westmost wing. The door at the end of the corridor." Liquid gold locked on the face of the slightly smaller demon.

"I... understand, My Lord." Lucifer had to agree. He'd sworn his loyalty to Diavolo all those centuries ago.

"And Lucifer?" When the Avatar of Pride turned around, "This? Stays between us." Diavolo glanced back towards the hidden woman, legs splayed open for him to come back to. 

"Yes, my lord."

Taking bolding steps, he followed his command. Waiting in the west wing of the castle. He pondered why he was there until he saw.

Her. His human.

Dress in a tight fitting skirt with a blue shirt tucked into it, heels echoing off the marble floor as she stepped out of her room. Stopping as her eyes full upon him.

“Lucifer…”. 

His heart repeatedly banged against his chest, unable to take in the fact that she was there, in the flesh.  Without a word he took three strong paces forward, cupping her face and pressing his lips to hers, kissing her with a passion. 

At first she hesitated before kissing him, her fingers burying his hair as she kissed him back. Tongues battling in dominance as she moans heavily against his mouth. But as her sense came back, she pulled away as quickly as the kiss had started.

“____, you're here, why are you here I- I don’t understand,” Lucifer conflicted to see her.

“I’m Diavolo’s human ambassador,” Her words sharp wiping her mouth with a tissue from her bag, giving as little words as she could.

“But you… Diavolo sent you home?”.

“No Diavolo offered to send me home, it turns out he needed a new member for his team and offered it me. You were the one to send me home,”.

“I was following his orders,” Lucifer going to step forwards her but the look in her eyes kept him in place. 

“If you’ll excuse me, our lord needs me, I have a meeting with him and I refuse to be late,” Looking down at her watch before trying to walk past Lucifer. The look in his eyes and the grip on her arm stopped her.

“He seems rather… tied up right now, I think he’d prefer not to be disturbed,”.

“Well then I have tasks to do,” Freeing herself from his grip.

“____,” He whispered so softly, like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth.

“And for the record, I was less concerned about spreading my legs, giving me the ability to get this job,” She spat, giving him the cold shoulder as she walked past him.

He watched as she walked away, refusing to let her go a second time he called out ‘I never meant that, any of it… but I did mean what I said to you,’.

She turned slowly in confusion.

“I said it to make you leave, that was all, but I- I meant what I said,” Cupping her face once more as he pulled it up close to him, “I did love you, I do love you, I never stopped loving you,”.

“I-it’s too late for this Lucifer…”.

“I love you,” Tears verging to form in his ruby eyes, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,”. The first time the avatar of pride apologised. “You had to go, and if I told you to stay… it would have broken both of us,”.

“So instead you let me suffer instead? You basically called me a whore in front of your brothers!” Her tone low, emphasis on ‘whore’. Her eyes still held hurt in them, the softness normally alluding slowly peering through. 

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry,” Lucifer catching her wrists and pulling her close. She put up no resistance, the visible pained sorrow on his face paired with his words was enough to show he meant what he said. 

“All I wanted was to wake up with you in my arms, tell you over and over that was the most wonderful night of my life. That I adore you, everything from your smile to your painted nails, to you little bunny slippers, to the way you-“ Lucifer pouring out his heart as she stopped him, kissing him like she had done that night. 

“Your brothers told me why you did it… I just- I wish you’d told me that instead of pushing me away Lucifer,” Her forehead resting against his chest as encircled his arms around her. 

“You’ve seen my brothers?” He asked, resting his chin upon her head.

“Mmm, they’ve been to visit a lot and I went to visit them during my free training, when you were working,” Inhaling his scent, letting herself get lost in the musky scent of fine leather. One of his hands slowly stroking her back, holding her like he had longed to do for so long.

“I was such a fool for letting you go without a fight… but this time I promise you, you are worth more than my pride, you are and always will be my everything,”. 

“Lucifer… We have to take this a day at a time... I do love you, Lucifer... But you really hurt me." Pulling back slightly, gazing up as Lucifer just nodded in silence.

-

“Oh god, there, oh, there!” Gasping as her eyes rolled into the back of her head. Lucifer leaning over to cover her mouth, her cry’s too loud and would definitely draw attention to the office they were currently residing in. His trousers halfway down his thighs, her skirt pushed up with her panties to the side, bent over a desk as Lucifer took her from behind. 

Barely an hour after their reunion, sexual tension lingering between them as they conversed about the past few months. Until finally neither of them could take it, her pulling Lucifer into the first empty office she could find. Lips finding each other without missing a rhythm, as if it was only last night they had last been together. 

One hand on her waist as he pulled back to meet his thrusts, angled deep with each thrust. Perfect hitting the spot inside her to make stars flutter across her vision. Their time apart caused them both to unravel fast, climaxing at the same time as he pounded into her with a passionate force.

They left the office with a glow on their skin. Shirts slightly disheveled, hair askew and her panties now being soaked in a heavy flow of their mixed release. Their panting breaths freeze as they came face to face with Diavolo, a smirk plastered on his face.

“Glad to see my two most vital advisers are getting along again,” His golden orbs playfully darting from her to Lucifer, “Both of you take the day off, I have no need for your help today,”.

“Thank you my lord,” Lucifer accepted his offer before she could say anything, for the first time not letting pride rule his life. Giving up his responsibilities for the day to be with his human.

The couple walked through Devildom towards the house of Lamentation like they had done the night of the ball, this time Lucifer boldly taking her hand in his as he smiled so lovingly towards her. 

“I love you,” His thumb subconsciously rubbed over hers.

“I love you too,” Bashfully smiling at his affection. 

The minute they got into the house of Lamentation he whisked her away to his room, holding her in the tightest embrace.

"I bind myself to you." His words were soft. "I promise to never harm, never betray, or leave you... This oath is only for you... I love you, and I promise you all of me in return for all of you." His voice was low as he pressed his lips to her neck. "If you'll allow me to love you until the end of our days... I will make up for past mistakes and love you... love you the way you deserve to be loved."

Kinktober masterlist here.

[bloodsbane]

on the subject of me reblogging old SU stuff,

i’d honestly say now is a good time to give the show a watch again. or maybe you’re someone who’s been a bit interested in steven universe, but passed on it bc you thought you wouldn’t enjoy it, or more likely because the fandom kinda turned you off to it

now that it’s been over for a while, it might be easier to enjoy it at your own pace without a lot of the noise that comes along with a cartoon being super popular at the time

and i do genuinely think it still holds up really well. and even though it’s obviously not perfect, there are still a ton of things about SU that are enjoyable and worth appreciating (the background art, the music, the gags, the characters/relationships, moments both lighthearted and heavy)

SU is very important to me, personally, because it’s the first show i ever got really into watching with my little sister. we’ve got a nice little age gap between us, so it’s always been hard for us to find something we both enjoy enough to share. but we watched SU all the way through together, and it remains the only show we’ve ever seen in totality together.

especially now, i think SU could be something nice to enjoy, on your own or maybe with friends. who knows, if you ended up leaving it behind, maybe another look now, a couple years later, will remind you of why you enjoyed it in the first place?

for any and all issues the show does have throughout its run, i think it’s still worthy of consideration and praise where it’s due. i don’t think it deserves this odd treatment of acting like it was ‘always, secretly, the worst thing ever’ or something? bc it’s not. it’s good! and it’s fine if it’s not to your taste, or you personally disliked some of the things that happened in the show - that’s just media. but especially if you’re someone who’s never even seen any of it, i cant help but feel like that’s just pretty shallow parroting of things you’ve heard others say, deciding something is cringe or whatever.

ill admit im hugely biased, for the above reasons. SU is obviously a show that’s very important to me, even now. watching it again with a friend who’s experiencing it for the first time is bringing back a lot of the very early, fondest memories i have. it’s been nice! i just think that, if you’d like to feel something similar, i’d encourage you to indulge. especially if you’re someone who’s managed to stay relatively un-spoiled on the show, i think you’d enjoy discovering what it’s actually like for yourself!

(and ftr, im watching it on hbo max, bc the CN online site/app or whatever is pretty garbage. the series is also on hulu, but only the first 4 seasons??? hulu what’s your problem. but yeah, if you wanna watch from an official source, those are my suggestions)