#i struggled with Estella a lot

[brodudemanbroski]

working hard or hardly working.

trying out a new art style, that’s it. hoping it works.

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[turnupswritessometimes]

Ricordami - Lies of P - P/Romeo - Ch1

A03 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56555755/chapters/143738143

Summary: P decides to repair the king of puppets. It sends him on a journey to discover what happened to Carlo and Romeo - and to discover whether puppets can love, after all.

Next

Chapter One

P didn’t tell anyone what he was working on. Not Eugenie, or Venigni, and certainly not his father. He didn't even tell Sophia. It was a secret. His only secret, he thought.

He quite liked having a secret. It made him feel like he did when he lied. Made him feel like he was something more than just a puppet; just a weapon.

Even if he did have to share his secret with Gemini.

Gemini, who didn't think it was a good idea. He told P that, every time they went to the theatre. They went late at night, when his father had already retired to bed; when less people would notice his departure. He was supposed to be scouting out the Barren Swamp. He was taking his time about it. He didn’t like that place; didn’t like the heaps of puppet bodies discarded without a care. Certainly didn’t like that there were battle towers armed with cannons.

So, he went to the Estella Opera House at night. The parts had all been there, where he'd left them. Damaged, but there. There had been some that he'd needed to replace, but that wasn't too difficult. There were plenty of puppet parts on the streets. Plenty of puppet parts in his father's room. They were intended for him, of course, in case he got damaged.

P was repairing the puppet from the theatre. The King of Puppets. Not the great costume that it had been wearing, but the boy inside. The boy who looked human, like he had. The boy who called himself Romeo, on the recording.

P was fixing that boy.

He wanted to meet that boy. He wanted to talk to him. Now that he was able to translate the language of puppets. He’d be able to understand him.

"With how it went last time, I think this is a risky idea," Gemini said, as P worked by the low light of the gas lamps, in the abandoned theatre. Hail pattered heavily on the roof. "I mean, you had a tricky enough time beating him last time."

"This time, I'm not going to fight him," P replied. He struggled with the intricacies of the nuts and bolts. His fingers didn't seem to be made for such delicate work. "I want to talk to him."

"I still don't think building a friend is the best option, pal."

P stopped to look at Gemini. He narrowed his eyes.

Gemini chirped, then fell silent.

P shook his head, and continued his work. It was strange, to be fixing something; to be creating, instead of destroying.

The King of Puppets needed new legs. He needed clothes; P had enough spares of each that he could loan out. There was damage to his face, and he found a replacement plate, but he didn't dare touch the eye. That seemed too risky for someone with clumsy fingers.

And it was all very risky.

It took a week, and lots of hard work. At least P did not have to sleep; that was a benefit of being a puppet. It was helpful for him to lay still, to reconfigure, but he didn’t require the same eight hours that a person did. He returned to the hotel by daybreak, and no one knew the difference.

Eventually, the puppet was finished. Eventually, P had sat him in a chair, and brought out his ergo, from his bag. The ergo he'd collected from their first fight. The ergo, he was sure, that kept hold of who the king of puppets was. Had been.

He slotted the ergo into the puppet’s chest. He topped it up with some that he'd collected, just for luck. Then he stepped back.

And waited.

Gemini chirped, and his light dimmed, as though he was afraid.

P's springs ticked. Was this what anxiety felt like?

The puppet’s eyes opened. His head swung, a little, as he woke up. As he came back to reality. He was on the floor in front of the stage. P retreated, a little way down the aisle – just in case.

Those eyes fixed on him. One brown-green hazel, and the other red. The King of Puppets glanced over the opera house, but stared at P. As though he was something mesmerizing; like he was watching a shooting star.

He could hear springs. Springs and hail. For a long time, they stared at each other.

"Carlo," he said. It wasn’t the puppet language. It was his own. It made his Ergo spark.

"I'm not Carlo," P replied.

The King of Puppets – Romeo, P remembered, his name was Romeo – shook his head. He frowned, as though he was still waking up. He lifted a heavy hand, and brushed his hair back. Looked at him again, but with less wonder now.

"You're the one who fought me."

"I am Geppetto's puppet," though even as he said it, he knew Geppetto's puppet would not be doing this. That name was what everyone else called him, and he was starting to resent that. And yet, he didn't know what else to say.

Romeo still stared at him. P would not look away. He stared back.

"Are you sure?" Romeo asked.

P didn't answer. He stood, slowly, clenching and unclenching his fingers.

Romeo moved too. He shifted, gripping the arms of the chair, testing his new legs on the floor. The shoes that P had stolen for him squeaked on the wood.

"You didn't talk to me, before," he said. "Before, you didn't listen. You just fought me."

"I didn't understand your language, before," P replied, also straightening up.  It felt like a battle; a fencing match, not to different from the last time they were here.

Romeo tilted his head to one side. His blonde hair fell in a soft wave. "You're a puppet?"

"Yes."

"You don't understand the puppet language?"

P paused. "I didn't. I do now."

Romeo tilted his head to the other side. "Now?"

"A translator was built—"

"By the creator?"

P said it too quickly. "No."  

He did look down, then. He didn't want to give away any secrets about Hotel Krat, or its inhabitants. He wanted to be careful. But he didn’t want to admit he didn't trust his father. Didn’t want to admit that he was being disobedient.

Romeo gave a soft chuckle. "Carlo did the same thing, when he felt guilty. I could always tell when he had a secret."

"I'm not Carlo," P repeated. But his mind had stuck on that chuckle. He’d never chuckled like that; nothing so soft and amused. He wanted to hear Romeo do it again.

Heavy footsteps sounded across the stage. He looked up through his hair, just enough to see that Romo was making his way across the stage. They were closer to the same size now; now that P had used those replacement parts. P had given him the old uniform he'd had. It made him look softer; realer.

"Well, not-Carlo," Romeo said. His voice was pointedly light. "Tell me why you think the creator – your creator – didn't let you understand the language the other puppets do?"

P didn't turn. He stared across the stage. The discarded puppets from the King of Puppet's play were sprawled at the back. The one that looked like his father stared blankly ahead.

"To stop me going into the frenzy too," he said. It was what Geppetto had told him, when he’d asked. He’d smiled softly, and told P he was different.

"A puppet created to destroy other puppets." Romeo stepped closer. P didn't turn. He closed his eyes.

"I'm not bound by the Grand Covenant."

"I don't think I am, either," Romeo replied. "Not now. Something's changed."

P still didn't look at him. "I translated your message."

"Better late than never, I suppose." Romeo stopped, close to him. Only a step away. "And you fixed me."

P nodded.

"Does Geppetto know?"

P shook his head. He ducked his chin again. He’d disobeyed his father, and he couldn’t even say why he’d done it. Why he’d felt such an urge to bring the King of Puppets back, and talk to him.

"You're really not bound by the Grand Covenant." Romeo's knuckles grazed his own. P should flinch away. He didn't. He only clenched his fist.

"And yet," Romeo continued. "You still do what he tells you, for the most part."

"He wants to save Krat." P turned, then. Romeo was still taller than him, even with those different legs.

"He wanted you to kill me." Romeo raised a hand, as though he was going to brush P's hair from his face. "Your best friend."

"I don't know who you are," P replied, but he didn't step away. "I don't remember you."

He didn’t. But he wanted to, and he wasn’t sure why.

"And isn't that interesting?" Romeo smiled, a little. He tilted his head again, and his blonde hair fell from his shoulder. It caught the light of the gas-lamps, and looked almost white. A white flame. "That he'd have his new version of Carlo destroy his old best friend?"

P shook his head, again. He was getting tired of saying he was not Carlo.

Romeo smiled, wider, and sat on the edge of the stage. It looked like a great effort to pull himself up, as though he was still getting used to his body.

"You know,” he said. Still casually. “Geppetto always hated me. I never met him that much – he barely ever came to the charity house – but he thought I was an awful influence on Carlo. He thought I was leading him into trouble. To be disobedient." Romeo looked down, with a sigh. He still smiled. "But that was mostly Carlo. He was always contrary. Particularly when it came to his father."

P found himself leaning on the edge of the stage too, just a step away. He twisted the wrist of his legion arm, listening to the click of the metal.

"There's a portrait of Carlo, at the hotel," P said. His voice sounded much too soft, in the cavernous theatre. "He's scowling."

"He always did, when Geppetto was around." Romeo chuckled, again, and P looked at him. At the soft smile that his mouth formed when he did that. It was mesmerizing. "I remember that portrait. He moaned every time he had to sit for it, and utterly refused to smile."

They sat, together, and P heard a distant clock tolling the hour. It was two in the morning.

"So…" Romeo paused. Completely; he didn’t move a muscle. "Why did you repair me, Geppetto's puppet?"

P thought he hated being called Geppetto's puppet even more than being called Carlo.

"I wanted…to talk to you." It sounded silly and strange, when P said it. "Not fight."

Romeo looked at him, his red eye bright. He could feel the pressure of his gaze on the side of his face, but he looked at the floor again. "And what did you want to talk to me about?"

P thought. He'd just known he'd wanted to talk to Romeo. Someone who was not his father - not any of the inhabitants of Hotel Krat. He'd wanted to speak to a puppet.

To someone like him.

P eventually asked, "How did you know who you are?"

"I – remembered." Romeo looked at his own hands, now. He pressed his fingers together, rubbing the tips over each other. "It came in parts. Sometimes it was just – snatches -– part of a song, or a conversation – but they built up. And as they started building, I started remembering, more and more. And then – I was sure. I felt it. In my heart."

He tilted back his head, laughing softly. He was beautiful, P thought, when he did that. The gas lamps glowed softly on his pale skin, making his eyelashes translucent. He looked like a painting; the prince in a fairytale painting.

"No, that's not right, is it?" Romeo murmured. "I felt it in my Ergo."

P nodded. He tilted his head forward, so his hair curtained his face.

"Did you want to remember?"

"Yes." Romeo slipped off the stage, and landed with a thud. "Don't you?"

No. P knew that. He might not know who he had been, but he did know that he was himself. He had his own memories. His own thoughts. He hadn't had any of these flashes of memories. None at all. Not whilst listening to records, or walking the streets of Krat.

And yet, they were all his memories. His own.

"You want to remember who you are, don't you?" And Romeo stepped around him. Stepped up to him, until they were only inches apart. P pushed off from the stage to stand. He was still shorter. He still had to look up at Romeo.

No, he didn't. But he also didn't want to see the expression on Romeo's face when he admitted that. He didn't want to hurt his feelings.

So, he didn't say anything at all. He watched Romeo's expression instead. It shifted, when he looked directly at P. It softened, his hazel eye warm, his mouth almost smiling. The way he must have looked at Carlo. Like he was something wonderful.

It was nice for someone to look at P that way.

So he didn't stop Romeo, when his fingers grazed P's cheek. Didn't stop him when he closed the gap between them, tilting his head. P recognised the action. At least, he had seen it in pictures; on the cover of one of the hotel's vinyl’s.

Romeo kissed him, his hand steadying P's chin. He felt the pressure of his thumb and forefinger. He stayed there, for a long moment.

P's eyes stayed open. Romeo's face was blurred. His lips were firm.

He pulled away, after that long moment, and his mismatched eyes searched P’s. For recognition.

P stared back.

Romeo's hands fell away.

"I'm sorry," P said.

"You really don't remember anything," Romeo said. His expression twisted. Grief, P recognised. He waved a hand through the air. "Then what did you repair me for? Why did you want to talk to me, if you didn't want to remember who you are?!"

P gripped the stage behind him. "Because you didn't want to kill me."

Romeo shook his head. He stepped away, brushing his hair from his face. P didn't move. His lips still felt warm from the kiss.

"I think you should go," Romeo said. "Run back to Hotel Krat and be with your father, before he finds out I've turned you disobedient too."

Romeo, who was telling him to leave, and not looking at him at all, now.

"Everyone wants to kill me, but you didn't," P said. "If I knew—"

"You would have killed me," Romeo replied. "It's what your father told you to do. What he made you to do."

"I am made for more than that." He said it confidently, but he didn't quite believe his own words. If he hadn't been made to fight, then he'd only been made to replace Carlo. That didn’t feel better.

Romeo looked at him. His expression was carefully blank, but there was a hint of something in his eyes. Disappointment, or hatred, or disgust. He turned away, closing his eyes.

"You're not him."

Did that mean Carlo would have admitted he was only made to fight?

P wasn't sure; he didn't understand; he knew that this fight was over. He should leave. He stepped towards the doors of the theatre, Gemini swinging at his side. It was different, when Romeo said he wasn't Carlo. He didn’t like it.

He still stopped at the door. He looked back, to where Romeo still stood, his face turned away, and his hand running over his jaw.

P asked, "What were you made for?"

*

P stared at the letter. It really was a letter, stuffed into the mail slot at the side of the hotel door. A crisp, white piece of paper, fluttering slightly in the wind.

The hotel had never received mail before.

He took the letter out, and unfurled it. There were only two sentences, written in elegant, looping handwriting: We need to talk. Will you come back to the opera house?

It was signed with an elaborate 'R.'

P's springs whirred in his chest. Perhaps there was some part of him that remembered being Carlo; if the thought of seeing Romeo again got him such a reaction.

"Hey, don't keep the secret all to yourself," Gemini chirped up, at his side.

P showed him the letter, standing away from the doors of the hotel.

Gemini huffed. "That's rich, considering he kicked you out last time."

"It must have been confusing," P said. To wake up a second time and see Carlo. To hear that P didn’t  want to remember.

"He was downright rude." Gemini waited. "Hey, you're not actually going to see him again, are you?"

P was. He was already heading across the courtyard, across the damp cobblestones (it was spitting; It always rained in Krat), because he was going to. He wanted to. Romeo wanted to see him again, he wanted to talk more.

He was one of the handful of people in the city who P could trust. Who would not try to kill him, or trick him. And of those people he trusted, he also didn’t trust his father.

P didn’t think he could trust his father. He hated it, but there was something about Geppetto that seemed different. There was a look in his eye, the way he said things, that made P feel uncertain. Why would Geppetto send him to fight Romeo without telling him?

So of course, he went back to the opera house. Of course, he pushed open the door to the theatre.

Romeo was pacing. Pacing, and bushing the hair back from his face, his brow furrowed. He stopped, when he heard the footsteps, and looked over. His red eye flashed, for a moment, like he was ready to fight.

"You came." He almost smiled.

"Yes."

"I wasn't sure if you would. After what I said—"

"It's fine." P took another step inside, watching Romeo carefully. He was not armed. He left his own weapons at the door. They would not be fighting.

Romeo rolled his shoulders, looking over him. "I thought about what you asked. About why I was made."

"I didn't mean to say that." It was a lie. P did. He'd wanted to dig at Romeo, the same way Romeo had dug at him.

"You're right, though." Romeo crossed towards him, his yellow hair catching the light. He looked like an angel, like he should be cast in stained glass. "Because I don't remember that part. I don't know how I ended up a puppet."

P stared. He didn't close the gap between them. He remembered last time; remembered Romeo kissing him. He looked at his mouth now, then back up to his mismatched eyes.

"I don't know that, either," he said, eventually.

"But you might be able to find out." Romeo kept walking. He only stopped when he was a few steps away.  "You said you wanted to be my friend. That would be how. I want to know why I'm no longer a human."

P continued searching his gaze. He supposed he didn't understand it; how it would feel to know you were a human, and wake up as a puppet. He'd only ever known being a puppet. Did he want to be human? He was certainly curious. Certainly curious about the changes that had been happening to him, recently.

"And what about Carlo?" he asked, carefully.

"I assume…" Romeo's eyes dropped to the floor, his hair falling forward. "That Carlo died. I assume Geppetto thought he would be able to fix it, by building a new one."

Romeo stepped forward. He was still taller than P.

"By building a son that would obey him, this time. A perfect puppet." His mouth twitched, in half-a-smile. "And this one disobeys him too."

"If I was meant to be perfect—" P measured each word on his tongue, before he said it. "Why don't I have two arms?"

He held up his legion arm, twitching its fingers. It was a weapon, and this one more dangerous than the others; this one was designed to spray fire. It was meant to destroy. Maybe Romeo was right: maybe he was only made to fight.

Romeo looked at the legion arm. He raised his own hand. His fingers grazed P's palm. He didn't flinch away.

"Have you ever asked Geppetto that?"

P shook his head; just slightly; just enough that his hair twitched with movement.

"Are you scared of him?"

"No." It seemed P could only lie when he spoke aloud.

Romeo took hold of his legion arm, pulling it towards him, he examined the hand.

"You used this hand to destroy me, the first time," he said. His fingers traced down the wrist. "Do you expect me to say Carlo had the petrification disease, and had to lose it?"

"Did he?"

"Maybe." Romeo shrugged, just slightly. "I don't remember the end. I know the petrification disease reached us, in the boarding house. It makes sense that was how…"

He lined their fingers up, very slowly, and kept them there, in the air. P watched. It was like they were about to dance. The idea made his springs whir.

"I do remember that Carlo broke his arm, once. He broke his right arm." Romeo watched their fingers too. He pressed back against P's hand. "That didn't stop him. He learnt to fight with his left. He learnt to do everything with his left. And it drove the old man insane, when he did."

P's fingers twitched. He thought about pulling away, but found he didn't want to. He couldn't feel Romeo, in that arm, but it was nice to have someone touch him. Someone who wasn't his father.

"Geppetto would not be that cruel."

"Maybe not." Romeo shrugged. "But he did ask you to kill me."

"I don't understand."

"I know you don't." And Romeo looked grave, then. He pulled his hand away, his fingers just brushing P's elbow. "Will you sit with me?"

There were two chairs, on the stage, as though they would be performing. It felt like that. The puppets, of him and his father, had been cleared away, but Romeo had kept the chairs. P sat down, on the edge of one, and looked out over the theatre. It was like an empty cavern. The curtains twitched from a draught.

Romeo rested his chin on the back of his hand, staring at nothing in particular. He was lost in thought, and it did make him look like a king, P thought. He looked like a young and troubled king.

"I meant," P said, softly. "I don't understand why my father would make you a puppet, if he only planned to destroy you, later."

Romeo's gaze flicked to him, and his mouth twitched. "I've never understood Geppetto's games."

"Why were you inside the King of Puppet shell?"

"To look more like a king?" Romeo replied. "To hide my identity from you? Because Carlo loved theatre puppets?"

"He did?" "He did." Romeo leant back in the chair. "It's ironic, isn’t it? But he did think they were wonderful. He'd get so excited to see a new one in action. He loved the Parade Master."

That was the first puppet P had fought. He remembered that fight, in the rain. He didn't say anything; he just watched Romeo. He didn’t want to remember, but he did want to know more. He wanted to understand his father.

"This are all things to ask your creator about."

"He does not tell me anything."

"What do you talk about, usually?"

"We don't."

Geppetto fixed him. He spoke about the things he needed to know. He told him he was a good boy.

Romeo's mismatched eyes met his. He half-laughed, ducking his chin, and his hair fell forward with the movement. Beautiful, P thought, again.

"Nothing's changed, then."

"I can try," he said, because he wanted to come by again; he wanted to see Romeo again.

"Try and remember," Romeo said. "The secret will be in Carlo's memories."

P didn’t have them. He didn't want them. If he started remembering Carlo, then what would become of him? Who would he be? So, he didn't reply. They sat, in silence, for a little longer. Until they heard the bells in the clocktower chime five, and P knew he had to be returning, or his absence would be noted. He made his way to the door.

Romeo followed. He opened it for P, like a gentleman, his eyes still scanning his face. He raised a hand, his fingertips just skimming P's hair.

“I’m sure he didn’t like this,” Romeo said.

“It happened when I saw your necklace,” P replied.

Romeo jolted. A little. He pulled his fingers away, slowly, seemingly deep in thought.

"When you find out more," he said, even more slowly. "I'll be here."

P's springs whirred. He didn't know what to say; what to reply. And once again, he didn't stop Romeo when he leant forward.

He pressed their lips together, just briefly.

Romeo still watched him, as though, this time, it would wake Carlo up.

[sevi007]

Lies of P shenanigans of the day (short today, because I struggle with back pain again)

What do you MEAN there is a status ailment which can instantly kill me when applied a certain amount?! Agshdbs I BARELY manage to stay alive on a good playhtrough and with lots of pulse cells, and now you're throwing disruption my way.

And since the game has the odd habit of informing me of newly encountered ailments only AFTER I got hit (and died) and got back to the safe point, I had no idea that I needed to avoid having the ailment bar fill completely.

The shriek I let out was worse than the what the puppets usually do

Alas, yes, as you can read between the lines, I have reached the Estella Opera House. On the way I accidentally completely run past a Mad Clown Mini Boss because I was looking for a good place to fight him, which, um. Was odd? I wasn't aware these guys are skippable XD But I'm almost glad, since the Opera House seems really on a whole new level of difficult and I don't particularly feel like dealing with this guy first

I wonder what my stats should be at at this time. I have, let's see. I think something like

Vitality 32

Vigor 14

Technique 13

Motivity 12

Advance 10

[alexsfictionaddiction]

Review: Great Expectations by A. L. Kennedy

Despite having a degree in English Literature and a special interest in the Victorian era, I haven't read much Dickens. I would like to try to change that but unfortunately, I haven't really got on well with much of the Dickens I have read (Hard Times and A Christmas Carol). I think I only really understood what was going on in A Christmas Carol because well, it's A Christmas Carol. So, an abridged children's version of Great Expectations was probably exactly what I needed in order to digest one of his best loved works.

Great Expectations follows a young orphan named Pip, who is raised by his tyrannical older sister and her kind blacksmith husband. One Christmas, he meets and helps an escaped convict. Soon after, Pip is invited to play at the strange, dusty house of Miss Havisham where her ward Estella teases him for looking so poor. Despite this, Pip falls in love with Estella and takes up an apprenticeship with his brother-in-law before learning that he has an anonymous benefactor, who wants Pip to grow up to be a gentleman. He assumes his luck is turning thanks to Miss Havisham but that soon becomes apparent that it isn't. Will Pip ever manage to gain Estella's affections and who is looking out for him?

This version has some gorgeous illustrations to help the story along and they are perfect for this young reader's edition. Although much of it is simple and all of it is colourless, my mind could paint in the colour easily myself and bring the settings to life more vividly.

The opening chapters are what I think could be considered quintessentially Dickens. It's a family Christmas dinner setting and everyone has whimsical names and manners. Although Pip is treated terribly by his sister, even at Christmas, the scene itself all felt quite familiar to me as a typical English Christmas family get-together. I love that Kennedy managed to still capture that ambiance throughout the abridgement process.

Although I didn't expect it to happen, I was willing Joe to leave his cruel wife. I would have loved this to be a story about a hard working man raising his young brother-in-law as his own son, having taken him away from the vicious treatment at the hands of Mrs Gargery. Pip adores Joe and I was really happy that at least, he had an adult friend who could protect him to some extent.

This one sentence that describes Pip's feelings about Miss Havisham's house on his first visit is truly haunting. From what I knew previously about Miss Havisham's character, this dark, cold, decaying house is exactly how I always pictured it and that stopped clock image fits it perfectly. For Miss Havisham, her wedding day was when time stopped and never restarted, so I found it really chilling to walk around her frozen house and indeed, her life.

As he gets older, Pip becomes a respectable, considerate young man and his sense of justice becomes apparent. He cares about people and respects women, which was perhaps not exactly the norm in Dickens' London. He's very easy to root for and I was excited to see him get his happy ending.

Occasionally, the story does speak directly to us, the reader. A lot of books for very young children do this and I like that this version of a classic does it. It allows readers to directly engage with the story and its themes. By asking the reader to think about their choices and what they mean for the future, we're being encouraged to reflect on our actions and think about whether we're happy with them. If we're not, this gives us a chance to change how we react in the future. I thought this was really clever and it keeps the core message of the book at the forefront of the reader's mind.

Great Expectations is a really thoughtful story with an important lesson for us all. I'm really glad I found this really accessible version of it, as I'm pretty sure I would struggle to get through the original. If, like me, you face barriers when you try to read certain classical authors, I recommend looking for some abridged or children's versions of them. Chances are, the story is something you enjoy but if things like language or writing style are preventing you from accessing the story, it doesn't have to be this way.

[sewers-headmates]

hiya! could we get a super chronically online Craig Tucker? we cant do the form (mobile) but basically very chronically online, transfem, horder of all types of IDs, sh holder and grooming trauma holder ?

estella back to indulge in my fixation more :3 apologies martyr for taking yours

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Info

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Name: Craig, Lisa, Michelle, Sarah, Amy, Melissa, Julie, Claire, Jamie, Lee, Kerry, Lynn, Leigh, Alex, Jordan

Middle Name: Amelia, Olivia, Mary, Hannah, Ana, Marina

Last Name: Tucker

Age: 16

Pronouns: she/her, they/them

Height: 5’10

Zodiac: aquarius

Species: human

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Labels

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Gender: transfem, fingender, xenogirl, genderqueer, magigxrl, galactigal

Sexual Orientation: demisexual

Romantic Orientation: panromantic

Mono, Ambi, Poly: ambi

cisIDs: black hair, green eyes, mixed, fem, BPD, asocial, chronically online, social anxiety, hypersexual, sh scars

transIDs: transOCD, transHikikomori, transSHAddict, transScars (more), transLegPain, transCrutchUser, transCaneUser, transWheelchairUser, transFae, transWings, transGender, transHarmless, transHarmed, permaGroomed, permaTeen, transNPD, transInternetFamous

Paraphiles: AAM, MAM, teratophilia, sadomasochist, consang, autobiastophilia, plushophilia, autoaptophilia, vigiliaphilia, oplophilia, dacryphilia

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System Info

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Roles: online protector/alter

Source: south park

Notable Source Memories/Details:

- didn’t really have much friends once she got older and staid in her room. though clyde, tolkien, jimmy, and tweek all did do their best to keep her safe and happy (and of corse did online stuff with her)

- dated tweek and he was a major help in her transition (though it did make tweek kinda panic to refigure out his sexuality)

- massive Valorant fan

- had many online boyfriends all WAY to old

Front Triggers: valorant, overwatch, almost any online game you can put a lot of time into, tweek

Sign Offs: -���🎮, -💙🕹️

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Personality

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Summery: Craig is a very asocial and reclusive girl. She hides out in her own space on the internet almost constantly. If a social media platform exists she’s there. She tends to isolate the real world for her online world. When it comes to real social interactions Craig struggles heavily, this has resulted in not having many real life relationships and her to depend on online attention.

Likes: internet, video games, her room, valorant, shooter games specifically

Dislikes: going outside, nature, being forced to leave her room

Hobbies: video games, blogs, roleplay, writing, art

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Fun Extras

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Typing Quirk: optional;

( = C, $ = S, 2 = Z, X = 0)

Playlist: not mine, 2h10m

Opinion Stances: pro anything

Kinlist:

Fluttershy - MLP

Loki - MCU

Nepeta - Homestuck

Amity - Owl House

Mercy - Overwatch

Faekin

Appearance:

Aesthetic:

i hope you enjoy this girlfailire! once again I bid my farewell until the next south park request!

-estella <3

[fair-night-starry-tears]

It was another tiring day, filled with pain and bruises. This was another day of battles, the maidens and princesses have fought against the evil heroes. And it was most tiring how they been ahead of them almost every time. But every day have been exhausting. However, Neige always look forward to returning to the hide out. Sitting on a chair, was a short dark blue hair with bright pale purple eyes in a dark hoodie as the boy scrolled through his phone

“Babe~!!” The boy cheered, dashing to the hoodie’d boy as he ran to the boy and gave him a hug. As the boy jumped but laughed as the boy, named Ife, held Neige close. “Sheesh. Does those exercise routines really hurt?” The boy jokingly laughed. The girls were…. Much indifferent when Neige brought the boy to meet the crew, Ife brought a lot of unsettlement, after all. They were keeping their roles a secret. But some reason, they don’t understand why they don’t feel alright.

Ife was just laughing and chatting with Neige, as they were talking when the girls check out their damages. While the girls were on their instruments, Isabelle noticed something. Weird with Ife. She saw a familiar sky blue hair hidden under his dark dull greenish blue. She walked towards Ife, getting close as she pulled on the darker hair. And boy….

Was. That a mistake. When the boy wig was snatched off, long pale sky blue hair with dark blue tints flew out, as he was surprised. Glaring at the girl, as Neige flinched to the sight. Jumping away from his lover. As Ife stayed silent, inhaling as he slowly threw his head back. And suddenly.

“Pfft- AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!” As Ife- no. Fayte. Removes the extra layer of fabric from his mouth to reveal the marks beside his mouth, revealing his bright red eyes, and his true nature. “Oh my goodness!! This is… hahahah!!! So absolutely wonderful!” He laughed. He couldn’t stop laughing, amusing himself of this horrid charade. Playing so nicely to be someone boyfriend and reveal his true nature. “It’s you….” Said Yuui/Amity. As the other girls prepare themselves. “That’s right~! Thanks for noticing. I like to thank, Neige~! For showing me your hide out! I say. Thanks… maiden of Kindness.” As Neige eyes widen, he never told anyone this. “H-how….?” As Fayte smirks. “I knew…. I always known!” He chuckled. “And to think, you fallen for me. At my disguise? Oh my how hilarious!” As Fayte walked to the doors. “I recommend you something girls…. It’s been an honor.” He said. “To find your weaknesses.” He added. As Fayte closed the doors. As Freya and Estella rushed to the doors, only the kick them open. And the boy was gone.

Neige, now disheartens and realizing the weight of the lies, his heart now full of pains and despair. To be played like that. It was not so fair. It was so cruel. All the girls gather to him, it was not his fault. He fell in love, only to be hurt so badly. They should’ve noticed he was a spy. A traitor in disguise. Now he knows their weaknesses. This day got even worse. Now they must be wary and careful. As now the secret is out for blood.

Somewhere.

As Fayte head was smashed to the ground, as the prince of Destruction aka Yuuto. Was furious that Fayte scheme of his charade came to an end. “How can you be so careless?!” He shouted. As Fayte struggles to bring himself up. “M-my liege! Bare with me! I come with gifts! Stories of the girls and Neige hide out. Their weaknesses! Their homes!” He shouted. As Yuuto smashed the boy head further. “…..very well. Don’t disappoint us. And don’t think of saying you actually fell for that boy either.” Yuuto said. As he leaves Fayte alone.

As Fayte remembers that despair look on Neige face, the look of broken love. The face of being betrayed. He could’ve help but smile to the sight. “I love that look on his face…. I can’t wait…. To see more of it!” He laughed to himself.

@adrianasunderworld @mangacupcake @writing-heiress @the-weirdos-mind @skboba-stars @nproduction626

(I FINALLY FUCKING WRITE)

[doggirling]

decided to make a pie chart of my kirby oc post distribution out of curiosity and its. ??? hm. rambling below

chart with the numbers of posts each listed to preface

ok now onto my thoughts.

for starters. i was 100000% convinced chavra would have more posts than ricky so that surprised me. ricky is by all accounts my main kirby oc and my #1 og but i've struggled posting him as much and chavra just inevitably became a character i found easier to draw/more comfortable to post about due to internalized #cringe (ricky's story has heavy oc x canon elements unlike chavra's lol). it's why i've joked in the past that people who come across me might think chavra's my main kirby oc instead of ricky, which she isn't, although i do love her a lot. so i am pleased that ricky does at least have a somewhat noticeable presence on my account lol

second. i am flabbergasteddddd at the lack of dahlia family posting on here like omfg. 13 ricky posts 1 florence post 0 ARDONA MALLORY AND COSMIN POSTS WHAT THE HELL LOL. i think this is a time-old case of how much i think about a character not actually translating to how much i draw/write/post about them because the dahlia family is like The family in starstruck. they have literal real estate in my brain and are probably one of the most fleshed-out family units in the entire story. i could excuse the nextgen dahlias (teddy/estella/sucos kid) having not many posts but the current dahlias situation is downright egregious i need to fix this. actually minnie is included too since she's functionally a part of the dahlia family by association and later marriage. why am i not posting The doggirl .

third. im not gonna go too hard on myself since some of these characters have been in a prolonged beta state some without finalized designs and some without even proper names. but i think it might be an issue if over half of the starstruck characters have not ever been posted on here lol. like 20 have been posted at least once while at least 28 have never appeared on here including a good amount of major characters. sure some are on toyhouse but toyhouse is more of a storing site so like. i really need to overcome the cringe man

to conclude. you guys should do this too lmao i think its a very fun thing to ponder on and gives a lot of insight. and for the love of god if you're gonna make an incredibly fleshed-out fan universe and turbo hyperfixate on it maybe don't hesitate to post anything about it

[gl4ssw1ngp1xy]

Welcome to my page!

Hello Shiftblr!

I am The Glass wing Pixy, I’m also known as Amaya in my walking dead DR, Ashlye in my GTA DR, Faeryn in my DC universe DR, Estella in my Marvel DR and Cyanide in my Addams family DR!

I have been on my shifting journey for about 3 years now I think. I discovered Shifting on TikTok (I know, probably the worst place to learn about the topic!) and found the whole idea weird to be honest. It interested me though and as a maladaptive daydreamer, I wondered if the two were connected, which they’re not. I’ve joined group chats, read books, followed youtubers and even shared a few TikToks inspired by my journey and the plots of my realities. I am in no way a professional, however I thought it would be fun to share my journey, Maybe we can learn, grow and become shifters together! I would like that very much.

I am a Capricorn sun, Sagittarius moon and Virgo rising. I have been spiritual since long before learning about shifting and also consider myself a Pagan. Shifting is just another piece to my Spiritual journey. Shifting has given me an alternative to very unhealthy habits and thoughts. I struggle a lot with my mental health and don’t have the best quality of life, Shifting gives me the freedom to get a way from all that, have a break from life itself, without making any drastic, permanent decisions.

I look forward to sharing many fun stories with you all, I’d like to share a little bit about myself from each of my scripts and I would absolutely love to meet other shifters and make friends within the community. I’m excited to see where this goes!

Happy shifting!

GWP X

[kaleeatinghoe]

FELLAS HOW ABOUT.. SOUTH PARK MUSIC HCS???!!💕💕

southpark kids musical headcanons woohoo

(just the ones I have thought about)

gregory plays clarinet + musical theater. he prefers musical theater but also just likes doing plays. as you may expect, he practices incessantly and as a result is the best in his band class, (which may have also had something to do with his prior musical experience at yardale.) whenever there is a solo to be gotten, the teacher makes it out to be a huge surprise whenever they select the soloist, but nobody is ever surprised and likely groan when gregory is selected.

wendy plays clarinet too, also playing it quite well, although not as excessively as gregory does. same with musical theater. she’s fairly good at singing in the sense of being in key nearly all the time, and having a strong voice, and competent on stage. she has a lot of interest in common with gregory in the music field, hence their friendship. (I’ve had an idea floating around in my brain of wendy auditioning for belle and grwgory gaston in beauty and the beast xDD) shes also one of the best in the band room and practices frequently.

christophe likely would never want to do any kind of musical anything on his own, although gregory would convince him to join band eventually. he would either join clarinet with gregory, or bassoon. he isn’t particularly good, but not completely lost. he’s maybe at the upper lower end of the”where he needs to be” in band class. I think that grwgory would slowly convince him to join musical theater with him,, but christophe being christophe he would never act on stage, so he would opt for backstage crew.

as for pip, he plays flute and sings in choir. he isn’t amazing at flute, but he’s overall pretty solid. I think he would just be absolutely overjoyed by being able to play that he doesn’t even care if he isn’t very good. he just genuinely likes to play flute, which is why he practices quite frequently. (although not very effectively.) same applies for choir, he just genuinely enjoys singing even though he isn’t THAT good at it. like he isnt bad at it, but his singing isn’t what you would call good either. little fella just having the time of his life in there:DD

i honestly think that estella probably wouldn’t do anything musical at all, but if she did it would be cello. she just seems like a cello kind of person idk. she can play it pretty up to speed. like not incredible but like to the point where she can get irritated whenever people are struggling real bad, which is very common in their orchestra class. she has like six packs on her eyeballs from rolling her eyes at this point. (i feel like all the strings would also be atrocious)

damien would go with alto sax (the one i play :D) or viola. he would also do piano but most schools don’t have piano :’) (atleast mine doesn’t.) his dad wanted him to have some form of extracurriculars but he is too antisocial for sports so his dad insisted on an instrument. whenever guests come over damien is hoping and praying that his dad doesn’t remember he can play an instrument :’) (“did you know that damien is learning an instrument at school? oh my gosh!! he’s gotten so good!!! damien, you should play something for them!!” “*whisper yelling after damien refuses* damien! show our guests your skills!”)

rebecca would do piano, (if it’s available) or violin. she already took violin lessons so she chose that one so she was less lost when she joined mid way through the year. (not that she couldn’t learn it in her own really fadt, bc she totally could, but she has social anxiety.) in the off chance that her parents make her try something new, she would play oboe. Idk her personality js seems like an oboe idk how to describe it :’) she would be really good at it and one of the better players in the room.

mark would also opt for piano if the school offers it, but if not he would go for the French horn because he thinks it’s cool. also he really likes the way it looks, and also he didn’t want to do one of the instruments he already knew because that’s boring. he would get up to speed pretty fast and end up one of the best in the french horn section, which pisses a lot of people off who couldn’t even get that good in the time before mark& rebecca came to the school.

so like these are just the characters who i rlly thought about whenever the hell i came up with the musical idea,, so I might make more. js lmk if you want any particular character/ hc or anything abt the characters in music

[leftforthestars]

hi randy!!!! for the end of year asks!!

Song of the year?

If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one

hi julian!!!

song of the year? probably randy by justice

if i could send a message? maybe to be more honest to myself and stop bottling things up (still something i kind of struggle with even now, lmao)

did i create any characters? yes…. a lot .

RANDY RAMBLING ABOUT OCS ALERT. you have been warned

so all of my ocs fit into groups, sorted by what “universe” they are in.

there’s:

the divinity’s cacophony universe (yes, my song “divinity’s cacophony” is for this) : agreza, alea, booker, echo, estella (main protagonist of this universe, basically), polyeidus (main antagonist but its also very complicated to explain how theyre the antagonist), and zima.

the paper trail universe (my miitopia au!!!!!!). this is the easiest one to explain, and most of my new ocs come from this one. characters include calchas, rue, thorn, araceli, seren, cecile, and lora.

the deltarune ocs. pretty self explanatory. coraso, diamonte, and mace are my ocs for chapter 1. urlo is my oc for chapter 2.

the… ok i dont have a name for this one. but ocs include aleron and mēdeia. thought maybe i should at least explain that i was planning to make a movie for this one universe… never went through with it, though, because animating is hard. i’ll explain the plot in some other post.

the tron ocs. nyx, paros, phantom, and zenith are my tron ocs!!

the mirrored universe: tyce and wren. wren is a guide, and tyce is literally just there.

the rest of these guys. bion, idris, imogen, jake, nova, renata, starshine, tetra, and velocity.

actually if anyone’s reading this and wants to ask me further stuff about one of my ocs then go ahead!!!!!!!

oh wait i went off track sorry. new ocs created this year: 18.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Mastering the art of trying our best and not taking things too personally

Glossy ivory shells have been showing up at the beach and that means it’s time for another crafting event. Joining us at the camp are Kati, Millie, and Alexi, so along with making a bunch of cool stuff, we also did some pottery and had a lot of ice cream.

For most of the day, we spent it at the beach collecting shells. Too bad it’s not warm enough to go swimming yet, that would’ve been a lot of fun. At least we can set up a bonfire in the evening and hang out for a bit before it gets too cold. Besides, we’ve been doing such a good job at finding shells that I think we got most of them within a couple hours. That means more time for us to chill and do other fun stuff.

Today was a bit different as we finished things early in order to go to Milkcloud for a charity stream event that Kati and Alexi were part of. It’s one of those casual gaming things where they mostly hang out while doing challenges involving fighting bosses. Various challenges include using a randomizer to pick their team, completing a fight under a certain amount of time - it’s funny to see what comes up.

The whole thing looked like a lot of fun but I would definitely fail considering that a) I don’t think I have beaten a boss under a minute -  but I have come close! - and b) some of these challenges are crazy hard so I’d be super screwed like if I had use use a character that’s not fully built or I suck at playing. Also there’s some exceptions to the timed challenges as some of the bosses aren’t actually that hard but they’re really annoying because they do things like hide so you spend half the time waiting for them to stop so you can finish them off.

Along with Kati and Alexi, other participants include Aymn, Cheyenne, Estella, Ying, Lyndi, and Atsushi. It was a lot of fun watching them play and hang out together. From what I’m hearing, the event went really well and everyone wants to get together to do it again. I’d totally be down for that!

The charity stream’s for raising awareness on mental health issues, so all proceeds will go to charity. So naturally a lot of the conversations went towards mental health, though they did go off on a tangent that’s sorta connected to the main topic, but also a bit about their personal lives. Other topics such as disability and trust issues came up since those are intertwined with mental health, especially with the stigmas that surround those topics. It was very interesting to listen to so of course I had to get as many of my thoughts down before I forget.

First of all, the participants here struggle with some sort of mental health issue and/or disability or chronic illness. Some people in their lives - family and such - are accepting while others are not so much. Kati has depression, anxiety, and lupus. Alexi is an amputee thanks to a drunk classmate, and on top of that she struggles with PTSD, anger issues, and depression. Cheyenne has anxiety, depression, ADHD, and a bunch of health issues. Estella calls herself a basketcase - she’s autistic with anxiety and BPD as well as a former drug addict. Lyndi and Ying have ADHD, both have the inattentive type and went undiagnosed for a long time. Aymn is autistic with OCD and chronic health issues. Atsushi has ADHD and PTSD, the former also wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood and he was told - in a nice way by the doctor - that he has one of the worst cases they ever saw.

And of course, each one went through various struggles of acceptance. Cheyenne considers herself lucky that she has a good support system, especially since her grandma works with kids who have developmental disabilities. Lyndi, Ying, and Atsushi weren’t diagnosed with ADHD until adulthood, so they spent most of their lives struggling without understanding why.

Lyndi was lucky that her family was supportive too, though she said Ludwig kinda blamed himself for not noticing the signs earlier as he too is neurodivergent. In her case, she said the diagnosis didn’t really change too much aside from making certain aspects of her life easier. Also, in retrospect, she realized that it explained her “unusual” ways of coping with traumatic events like her uncle’s death and estranged mother’s reappearance.

Atsushi said he was considered hyperactive throughout his childhood, which was part of the reason why most of the adults saw him as a problem child. Of course, there were other reasons why he was ostracized by the village he grew up in, but that certainly contributed to it. As a result he grew up aware that something was “wrong” with him, so in a way he kinda overcompensated, and while some good came out of it, he now questions whether it was necessary. Sure he was glad to be a hero, but why should that be the way to make the village acknowledge him as a person? Yeah, I see his point.

For him, his diagnosis was a game changer. Suddenly it all clicked for him and everything was less confusing and scary. Also, it turns out that his mom had undiagnosed ADHD too and she came to the same realization. To think you spent most of your life feeling inadequate or stupid and thinking that it’s just you. And then you find out that there’s a reason why it seems like you’re lagging behind and it’s not your fault and you’re not alone. You’ll still have your struggles but now you know that there’s a reason why and what you can do about it.

Ying says it was similar for her in terms of her diagnosis - relief at knowing that there’s an explanation for why her brain works differently. However in her case, her family wasn’t as accepting. She described her folks as old fashioned, which is also why they don’t approve of her being a musician. Her mom eventually came around and even stood to her defense against some relatives who began treating her differently.

Sometimes people are just like that, once they realize something’s “wrong” or “different” about you, you’re suddenly no longer a person in their eyes. I don’t understand it but that’s just the way some people are, I guess. And they wonder why so many of us have trust issues…

On the other end of the acceptance spectrum, Alexi, Aymn, and Estella have their problems - most which take way too long to unpack so they gave us (the audience) a tl:dr version. In short, not very happy, but at least they’re at a point where they won’t let others drag them down and stop them from living their lives.

Aymn is pretty much cut off from his family for various reasons, being autistic and chronically ill being one of them. He is not exaggerating or oversimplifying by saying that those are two of the many reasons why his parents resent him. There’s also the fact that they’re ultra conservative - dangerously so because they’re powerful politicians - as well as emotionally abusive. He said when his parents tried to get him into politics they didn’t expect him to end up on the opposite spectrum.

For pretty much all his life, Aymn was told by his parents that he was worthless and that no one will ever give him a chance. They pretty much put it in his head that the only way to truly be accepted is through cruelty. In other words, inflict pain on others so they will notice you and then bleed them dry because that’s the only way you can survive. Hard to believe that someone like him grew up with those kinds of people. It’s a good thing he’s a strong willed, compassionate, and stubborn person with an innate sense of justice.

By chance he met people like Sadiki, Safiyya, and Nahla, and they were the ones who prevented him from sharing his family’s toxic views on the world. Over the years he went from some nobody to Safiyya’s right hand man, something that made his parents resent him even more. Though Aymn never aimed for power, the fact that he ended up being the second most influential person in the Lunar Rainforest was the perfect fuck you to those who kept putting him down. Good for him!

Alexi had her issues regarding harassment from that classmate who caused the accident. At school she faced ableism and ostracism from her peers and family to an extent. On top of that, the classmate and his friends kept harassing her on and off for years before he died. It was rough and certain people in her life didn’t make it any easier.

She spent a good part of her life being angry - rightfully so - only to be brushed off and told to get over it. Funny enough, when she brings up the harassment, they somehow make it out to be her fault, as if the fact that she’s here serves as a constant reminder of what happened. Even now, there’s still some people who try to gaslight her into thinking she should take sole responsibility. Talk about victim blaming.

The more I hear about Alexi’s story, the worse it gets. She said if it wasn’t for her mom, she’d hate to think how she would’ve turned out. I don’t blame her for being angry - she was basically fucked over by some rich kid who got off scot free while she got turned into a scapegoat. She didn’t even want to get in that car with him but he forced her while the other kids didn’t step in. He somehow got off with minor injuries while Alexi almost died because help didn’t arrive until nearly an hour later. She was later told that had she been taken to the hospital earlier, they would’ve been able to save her leg.

In response to people telling her to get over it, she says hell fucking no. I agree with her. Even though she’s living her life, doing her own thing, there’s still a part of her that’s scarred forever. That’s not to say that she’s clinging to her past - she’s long come to terms with her disability and what happened - but the harassment and bullying and gaslighting she faced kept holding her back. She said that she was once the easygoing, docile, super eager people pleaser before the accident. To a degree she still is, but now with anger issues as she’s prone to lashing out - again, can’t blame her - and suddenly she’s disagreeable and violent. I swear, sometimes you just can’t win with some people.

Estella has also dealt with some shit that she will never get over thanks to certain people from her past. In short, she had an unhappy childhood being raised by unloving adoptive parents. As a teen she started shoplifting and abusing prescription meds and that eventually got her into a lot of trouble. She considers herself lucky that instead of throwing her into some juvie and locking her away, the guy who arrested her insisted that she undergo counseling and rehabilitation. While her family disowned her, that officer never gave up on her, and she’s forever grateful to him.

Obviously it wasn’t easy and she had a lot more bad days than good. Just when Estella was trying to build a new life for herself, she put too much trust into the wrong people, and that’s how word about her arrest record came out. It’s one of those things where she’s kinda glad it came out as it kinda forced her to confront these problems, but there could’ve been another way. As a result her ex family found her and harassed her from time to time. In their eyes, she was irredeemable and deserved to die in a ditch - not an exaggeration - and she’d be lying if she said that still didn’t strike a nerve with her.

I think the worst part is that no matter how we try to live our lives, there’s always someone who tried to bring us down. They criticize what we do, saying that we’re doing everything wrong, and they try to convince us that we’re not good enough. There’s no use winning with them because no matter what you do, they’ll try to find something to be mad about.

Maybe that’s why I keep a lot to myself. After all, they can’t hurt me if they don’t know what’s going on in my head.

I’m all for letting people live their lives as long as it’s not harmful and such. I’m not one to tell you how to run your life because you do things differently from me. I don’t understand why that’s so hard for some people to grasp.

Ying has said that even though she’s doing well as an artist, there’s still people around her who question her success. It’s fine if what she’s doing isn’t their thing but it is kinda insulting when they act surprised that people actually like her for who she is and what she does. I remember Mae’s response to Daisy Jane’s shop taking off - making a rude remark about mentally ill gays - something she later tried of write off as a joke . It was never funny to begin with.

I don’t know, I can’t imagine doubting someone so much that when they end up succeeding, I accuse them of cheating or insult those who support them. It’s like they don’t want you to succeed so when you do, they take it as a personal insult.

Kati had her detractors from acquaintances when she decided to sell her ceramics. They told her stuff like she’s not good enough or it’s not feasible or she won’t be able to manage it. She recalled that some of those people suddenly changed their minds when her shop started taking off, claiming that they always supported her from the start. Did they really?

On the plus side, Kati and the others agreed that those kinds of situations are helpful in figuring out who to trust. Some people only care about you when it’s convenient for them so they’re not worth sticking around with.

There’s also the issue of people knowing you IRL thinking they could dictate what you can say or do online, which is annoying. That’s also part of the reason why I hardly update on certain socials, especially ones where older relatives usually are. All the participants have a large online presence and most people outside of that are aware. They’re fine with that, but it does result in some problems, which I think are inevitable.

Atsushi and Ying have dealt with some IRL acquaintances who actively complain about what they put online. As in, they’re uncomfortable with heavy topics like mental health, as well as any kind of negativity. Alexi received complaints from her dad for even bringing up any sort of negativity or slight criticism when she talks about her family - a sentiment shared by Ying, Kati, and even Cheyenne to a degree.

I mean I get shit talking and bashing but from what I’ve seen from them, I don’t think what they’ve said is harmful or hurtful. I mean there’s definitely people who do that, but they’re not the kind. Even if they do slip up, I’m sure they’re quick to apologize.

Most of what can be perceived as negativity isn’t even that bad - like they were careful not to name names and keep it vague. Also they’re just talking about stuff and they’re allowed to vent and complain as long as it doesn’t drag things down too much. Apparently one of the things Alexi’s dad complained about was when she mentioned that her family wasn’t really supportive of some of her life choices - like I’m pretty sure that’s the case for pretty much everyone and she wasn’t being mean or anything. Again, if it was a direct attack that’s different, but that wasn’t what I got from her words as she was mostly speaking in general terms.

They’ve all definitely had their share of people reaching and taking something they said and seeing that as a personal attack. Again, it’s the whole watching and waiting for you to mess up so they can make themselves the victim.

Atsushi mentioned that someone from his old village once made an account just to criticize him during a stream - it was actually kinda pathetic. Cheyenne had an incident with Alon, who somehow thought it was a good idea to bring up her father. I was there when it happened - he basically blamed her for not trying hard enough when they were separated. Like what? First of all, she was 11, what could have she done? Wasn’t he like 5 or 6 at the time - why was that any of his business? Cheyenne wasn’t upset, more like baffled because why the fuck would you bring something like that up? In the middle of a chill gaming stream? All she said was that she was planning to spend the weekend with her father but something came up.

The lengths some people will go to bring others down… There’s some things you can get over, others you can’t, and probably never will. That’s not to say that things won’t get better, but even a fully healed scar leaves something behind. All the participants have been through shit and yet they survived.

I’m glad to hear that they’re all at a point in their lives where almost everything’s good. That’s not say that they don’t have their problems, but they’re better equipped to deal with them now compared to, let’s say, 10 years ago. It’s not always easy but it’s important not to let yourself take too many things to heart, especially if it brings you down.

All in all, it was an interesting conversation to listen to. The participants were a bit unsure at first when things started turning serious but we all wanted them to continue. I’m glad they did as I think it’s important to be open about mental health struggles. I think too many of us struggle alone with our problems, so it helps to know that we are in fact not alone and things will get better. We’re all trying our best here, and that’s what really matters in the end.

Read on AO3

[reach4estellacrossing]

Anyone else like this?

The struggle of wanting to either rearrange your whole island or restart (mostly rearrange)is so real!

I have so many ideas for Estella (my island) right now. I want cottagecore, I want witchy, I want one side to be kind of spooky and I want the otherside to just be cute small coastal town vibes. I want the island to have a weird back story. (Think Gravity Falls type stuff.) I don't know if I'll be able to do it all. I've built so much in to this island. I've hunted down villagers that I want (still hunting). I have some things set up already, but a lot to still do. I've been playing since 2020 so I'm not restarting. I like the island that I have, but sometimes I really think about starting over.

Edit: Should probably add that I have a cute set up right now, but I just want to change it to what I've originally been trying to do especially since the big update last year.

[mizp-m-archived]

When Estella woke up, she'd find a box on the drawer next to her bed. It was a small black box, with a letter attached to it. The writing itself looked eligible, but it was obvious she struggled with some of the bigger words.

Yo Stell!

I bothered Shishou to craft some earrings for ya and enchant them with stuff. I don't have a special occasion or something, but I do want to keep you a bit more sae when 'm not 'round, y'know?

With love, Verda.

Then when Estella opened the box, she'd find a pair of earrings in her color scheme looking back at her. Another note was attached to it. This time the handwriting was far more refined and to the point. It was clear Ruby had written this one.

Name: Azure Love

Enchantment Effects:

Left earring regenerates a charge every five seconds that gives you a full-body shield that can tank any one attack, regardless of its potency. It can hold 3 max charges.

Right earring enhances all your parameters to 150%, effectively making you 1.5 times stronger, faster, more durable, etc.

Set-effect when both are worn: They grant you better mana control and allow you to shape your magic into wepaonry with a mere thought.

Love confession Gifts // accepting

Heat rushes to her face and all she can do is keep the tears at bay. It was a sweet gift and had a lot of meaning to in...even if it felt like a bit much. Still the gift is apricated and even accepted and if she decided to get her ears pierced just because of this no one has any proof.

[astoriaroleplay]

MEET ESTELLA “STELLA” MARTYR

AGE: 32 years old

BIRTHDAY: Decemeber 21, 1989

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Cis Woman — she/her

OCCUPATION:  Teacher / Head Priestess

PLACE OF BIRTH:  Hearthstone Bay, Astoria

NEIGHBORHOOD:  Ashville

HAS LIVED IN ASTORIA FOR: 32 Years

CHARACTER INTERVIEW

What makes Astoria still appealing to you? Is it related to personal or work relationships?

Stella nodded and crossed her legs, followed by putting her hands on them. “Well… I’ve been here my whole life.” She offered a soft smile before continuing. “I’ve never known anywhere else, really… But If I had to pick.” She paused to think about her life and her childhood flashed before her eyes. Her mother and her on the swings, at the beach, cuddling on the couch. Stella sighed. “I guess I would say personal relationships. My mother and I built a life here after my father died.” She told them honestly. “Astoria will always be my home.”

What’s something about your personality that you’re proud of? And what would you like to change?

The witch thought for a moment. To be frank, there weren't a lot of things she liked about herself. She wasn’t extremely outgoing and she rarely put herself out there to meet new people. She swallowed and offered them a tight smile. “I’m a great problem solver… I like to assume I have a a good head on my shoulders and I listen well.” Stella nodded. “That’s what I’m proud of.” She told them honestly. She sighed and quickly nodded again. “As for changing… I would probably want to be more spontaneous, like my dad. He uh… He always surprised us with trips to the beach, the movies and he was the one who convinced my mom to let me start learning magic so young.” She said, followed by a deep breath. “Uh, yeah. That’s what I’d change. More spontaneity in my life.”

Please elaborate on any violent circumstances you may have been involved with in the past.

The brunette nodded and rolled her shoulders. She was glad the interview was almost over. This question was probably the most difficult one but Stella knew she had to answer it. “Well, my fathers death really impacted me.” She started. “As much as I’d like to say it didn’t… I turned into an angry person. My mom put me in therapy… I got into a few fights at school.” Stella sighed. “I skipped a bunch of classes and almost failed the whole semester.” She let out a nervous laugh. “After that, I really struggled to get back to where I was before his death.” Stella sighed. “Sometimes I think I’m still not over it.” She admitted. “My mom and my grandparents helped a lot but it was a dark time for me and my family.”

Your thoughts about supernatural beings.

Stella smiled. “I love supernatural beings. I’ve only ever been surrounded by them my whole life. I couldn’t really imagine my life without them… Myself and my family included.” She admitted with a small nod. “I don’t think I have much to say about it other than that unfortunately. Sometimes I wish I was a little stronger sometimes just so I could protect my loved ones a bit better.” She continued honestly. Stella took a small exhale and glanced down, making sure not to make eye contact. “Maybe then I could have saved my dad.”

FACECLAIM: Nathalie Emmanuel PLAYED BY: Emmy

[sewers-headmates]

Miscellaneous Mini Alter Intros

I realize we have some alters who enjoy helping out and sometimes do it under another admin’s name so i decided to make this which will have a short name and description for more alters. they will still use another admin’s name but will probably put a little (with help from name) at the end

Marvin - he/him, host, gay, engaged to whizzer in @thecutecoresys , i am very source connected but that doesn’t stop me from enjoying this life, i am a narcissist and struggle with social interactions outside of my fiancé and my son, i don’t do online activity much and am personally neutral on radqueer and don’t identity with any labels it helps our system so i don’t stop us, i handle more work host duties while richie handles the social aspect. sorry for the ramble, open to sourcemates interacting /p only

Ruth - she/her, lesbian, single, i help richie out a lot with requests, i’m his iw caretaker and best friend ^^ i don’t have to much on me but love talking to people! uhhh what else? i’m hypersexual and have a MASSIVE crush on an alter in our partner system wish me luck!

Pavi - he/him, gay, taken by my brother in @thecutecoresys <3, i love to mask as others so i’ve been doing that here haha, i’m a repo! fictive and am very much…problematic in every way i know how to be! i love to kiss my brother mwah mwah mwah that’s all bye bye

Maxine - she/her, questioning sexuality, taken by Grace in my lovely ps @thecutecoresys , ummm i’m a transfem Max Jägerman alter and self identifying bimbo /sx, i like helping out when i can find pretty faceclaims and make picrews! i’m very much a nsfw alter but i don’t bite i swear

Schlatt - he/him, bisexual, owned by Minx in @thecutecoresys and very clingy to her, i’m a cc!schlatt fictive from an old mcyt fanfiction, transHarmed4transHarmful conabuse, i’m the transHarmed part ^^, clingy and codependent, only talk to people with Minx there

Jon - he/him, queer, single but talking, hi ^^ i’m not really super pro rq or anything i’m just here to help our system, i don’t really have any transIDs or stuff, i enjoy musicals and starkid and will get along with anyone, see you all later!

Azriel - he/him, bisexual, cat demon, fictive of Leon from the book her soul to take, not super source connected, enjoy being on my own or with my wife

Jeremiah - he/him, unlabeled aroace-spec, fictive from the book Her Soul To Take and a roleplay based around it, consang & transCultist, i am single and pretty ok with that

Jon - he/him, questioning sexuality, factive of Jon Matteson, sysdad/caretaker, i’m pretty friendly to everyone and love to help out my headmates here, i’m kinda single but being harassed flirted by a specific married couple in @thecutecoresys <3

Jamie - he/him, omnisexual, game of thrones fictive, age slide but normally mentally a kid, happily taken by my sister in @thecutecoresys i love you Circe!!! i like to help but might not do it to much!

Estella - she/they/he, bisexual, h3ll p4rk fictive, not to found of my source but i do enjoy it specially my system’s remake of it, i love souecemates as long as you understand our system views it differently, happily taken by Gregory in @thecutecoresys my precious boy <3 i love radqueer and want to be around more to help!

Whizzer - he/him, gay, fictive from the OBC Falsettos, i’m a leather enthusiast and happily taken by Marvin in @thecutecoresys and am obsessed with him. I’m neutral on all of this stuff ngl but i love helping make alters! ^^

we will do more as more alters decide to help out! thanks for reading!

-marvin

[tragicbeauty1991]

Okay, I said I was going to make a longer post talking about why most of the complaints I see on here about the new Cruella film aren’t accurate, so here goes.... (WARNING: Contains some spoilers.)

Misconception #1: The Dalmatians are the villains. Cruella wants to kill them to avenge her mother’s death.

Truth: The Baroness is the villain of the film. While it’s true the dogs running after Cruella’s mom are what causes her to fall to her death, the dogs are just...being dogs and doing what their master (the Baroness) told them to do. Cruella very easily COULD have blamed them, but she doesn’t. As a child, she blames herself because she caused the disturbance that led to the situation. Later, once she learns that the Baroness deliberately called the dogs on her to run her off the cliff, she (rightly) blames the Baroness. At no point does she blame or hate the dogs themselves. In fact, this version of Cruella has a couple of dogs of her own...and in the end, when the Baroness gets what she deserves and goes off to jail, she adopts the dogs.

Honestly, I liked how the Dalmatians were portrayed. They’re not vicious (except when ordered to be)...but they also aren’t the laid back, sweet family-friendly dogs that we get in the animated version either. I don’t believe in “bad breeds,” but it IS true that some breeds are more relaxed and easygoing than others, and Dalmatians are NOT the kind of dog you want to get if you’re a beginner and don’t know what you’re doing. They are high energy dogs who were originally bred to run after the carts firemen used in the early days before cars, making sure to keep people and animals out of the way of the horses so they could go full speed ahead...so they can be nippy if they aren’t trained or socialized well. This film shows them ripping up a couch and being a bit of pest at times when they’re cooped up in Cruella’s hideout and getting restless/bored.

Misconception #2: The film is defending/making the audience sympathize with an animal abuser.

Truth: See above. This version of Cruella doesn’t actually ever harm a dog. She STEALS the Dalmatians in order to get back a necklace one of them swallowed...but she never harms them. The Dalmatians INSPIRE her spotted coat design. They themselves are NOT the coat.

Misconception #3: Pongo and Perdy are related, so the film is implying an inappropriate relationship between them.

Truth: At the very end of the film, we get a post-credits scene in which Cruella leaves a puppy as a gift for Rodger and another for Anita. While it’s true that they seem to be from the same litter (from one of the Baroness’ Dalmatians), Rodger and Anita aren’t even TOGETHER yet at the end of the film and because this story is first and foremost a RETELLING from Cruella’s perspective the events of the animated film don’t necessarily even happen. We get a lot of nods to the original film—for example, Horace makes a comment about how owners and their dogs often look alike and we see a lady and her Afghan hound walk past almost shot for shot like what we see in the beginning of the animated film when Pongo is looking out the window—BUT...the dog -napping and spotted coat have ALREADY happened by the end of the film. In this version, we don’t need Pongo and Perdy to have puppies for Cruella to steal. Why would she? She already has three Dalmatians of her own by the end of the film, and they’re clearly capable of making puppies on their own so...giving away puppies to Rodger and Anita and somehow hoping they’ll end up together and their dogs will have more puppies just so she could steal them back...MAKES NO SENSE.

Misconception #4: Cruella is Estella’s evil personality. The film negatively portrays people with mental struggles like multiple personalities as evil.

Truth: Cruella is Estella’s alter ego in much the same way that Batman is Bruce Wayne’s alter ego. She is fully aware of this other “personality.” Additionally, Cruella isn’t exactly evil in this film. Estella is the polite, submissive, well-behaved side of her while Cruella is the rebellious, mischievous, wild side that isn’t afraid to stand up for herself or get into trouble and push boundaries. Although she sometimes lets “Cruella” go too far, by the end of the film, although she claims Estella is “dead,” I think the truth is more that she figured out how to merge Cruella and Estella appropriately. She is unashamedly herself with her black and white hair and eccentric attitude...but she has also shown that at the end of the day, she values the people (and animals) who are like family to her.

The only LEGITIMATE complaints that I can see people making are that it does MAJORLY diverge from canon (but you should know that going in from the trailers), that the Baroness is a bit over the top for a live-action villain, and that Rodger and Anita should have had more screen time. Honestly, my biggest complaint is how unrealistic it is for the Dalmatians to still seem so young ten years after we first see them onscreen and that they’re having puppies (when apparently they’ve somehow never had them before??) at such an old age. (Which is a pretty minor complaint, honestly.)

Cruella is fun remake with some unexpected twists, lots of amazing costumes, and great music. Give it a shot!