Good afternoon honey, I was wondering if you could write dark! Joel x plus size reader where the reader is suffering with body image and that night you go out to a club and meet Joel but smut? love the blog🥰
Pairing:Joel Miller x plus size!reader
Warnings: body image problems, negative talk of reader's body and self, smut| dub-con, unprotected p in v sex, a bit of degrading, and dark! Joel
A/n: ok ok ok I've never written a plus-size reader so if this is bad just tell me, honestly, I'll delete it, it's fine (yes I'm really nervous about this, I'm scared it's disrespectful) thank you so much for the ask tho babe💗
The dress looked absolutely horrendous on you. It was too tight and too loose in all the wrong places.
Your curves looked like they were stretching the fabric so much it was gonna tear the moment you took a step, and the makeup on your face now just looked like a pathetic attempt at driving people's attention away from it.
This was a mistake, you sighed, looking at the loser staring back at you from the other side of the mirror.
I should have never agreed to this, It's so fucking stupid.
You mumbled to yourself as you unsuccessfully tried fixing the dress in any way that wouldn't make it look so incredibly ridiculous.
Maybe I can pretend I'm sick or something,
Maybe I got a really bad headache all the sudden,
Maybe I got fucking infected, I don't know, that would be believable. I can just start making some weird ass noises and I doubt she'd still want to go out with me.
"Hey, you ready?" Kora opened the door, causing all your plans to fall apart with one single action.
"yep" you forced a smile "all ready"
"Great, let's go!"
fuck my life man.
__ __ __
"Are you serious?" you asked, actually kind of mad
"I know, I know, I'm sorry"
"you've just met him" you pointed out, frustration and annoyance lacing your tone.
"I know" she repeated "but-" she sighed, glancing back at the man "he's so hot y/n, I mean-"
you rolled your eyes "Whatever, go have fun, I'm just gonna go home"
"no don't go home, you can have fun without me," she said "Maybe with someone else..." she raised her brows suggestively and you felt one breath away from punching her.
You shot her a look.
Yeah, like anyone would want to "have fun" with me
"what?" she asked, clueless
you stared at her, the same expression in your eyes.
"you know what"
"oh my god," she moaned "again with this thing? Y/n you're hot as fuck, anyone with half a brain cell can see that"
You remained silent.
You hated the pity party of having everyone constantly lie to you about how you looked.
Just tell me the truth. I look like shit.
It's fine, I know it, you know it, the whole world fucking knows it so stop talking to me like I'm a fucking baby and tell me the truth.
I can take it. Trust me, I've been telling it to myself since I was born.
"in fact..." A small smirk tugged at her lips as her eyes focused somewhere behind you " I think somebody definitely noticed" she grinned like an idiot as she stared at someone behind you.
"shut up" you stopped her "You know he's not," you said "He's probably looking at you"
"Oh no" she shook her head, that stupid smile still tugging at her lips "No he's definitely looking at you" She waved at him and you immediately grabbed her hand, forcing it down
"stop! what are you doing!?"
"I'm helping you out" she smirked "You'll thank me later," she said with a wink, turning to walk away but not before chuckling a taunting"Have fun"
Goddamnit
You could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks as you sneakily tried to catch a glimpse of whatever Kora was talking about.
She was probably bluffing, you thought as you slowly turned, but just then, you had to think again.
A man was looking at you, no, not looking, staring.
His eyes were pointed at you like a viewfinder in a gun.
He was sat at a table alone, an empty beer bottle clutched in one hand, and the other one relaxed on his leg.
He looked focused, like a tiger watching a gazelle.
His salt and pepper beard suggested he was older, and so did the lines across his forehead.
But most of all... his eyes were the tell.
His deep brown eyes staring back at yo-
shit
You turned away.
Fuck
I was staring at him,
You clutched your purse to leave, but a voice stopped you in your tracks.
"hi sweetheart"
He sounded exactly how you'd imagined.
You turned to him, your eyes glimmering with shame
"hi" you breathed "Sorry if I bothered you"
He chuckled "A pretty thing like you could never bother me"
he sat down "Besides," he said "I was staring at you first"
You forced a chuckle as an awkward silence fell between you.
"I saw your friend left," he said, sitting down on the stool next to you,
"yeah" You nodded "She does that a lot"
"that's too bad" he cooed "well maybe not entirely" he considered, something switching in his tone.
"What's your name sweetheart?"
"I-I'm y/n"
"y/n" he let your name roll out his mouth with ease "pretty name for a pretty lady" he commented, "I'm Joel"
"nice to meet you" you mumbled, stumbling over your own words.
Was he coming onto you?
"the pleasure's all mine darling"
He definitely was
But, like... why?
"I'm sorry-do you- do you know my friend?"
He grinned, his white teeth showing "no,"
"she didn't like, tell you to come here or anything?"
A small laugh fled his throat "no sweetheart"
"oh" you breathed "so you came here 'cause..." you trailed off,
" 'cause you caught my eye from the moment you entered, and when I saw your friend leave you here all alone, I couldn't not offer a bit of company"
You felt a shy smile spill from your lips
" 'got a pretty smile angel" he smirked
"t-thank you"
He chuckled again "Why are you so nervous sweetheart?" he asked, his hand traveling to your thigh and stopping all oxygen from getting to your lungs "Is it me? Am I so scary?" his voice got lower as he inched closer "I don't bite y'know?" he joked "not unless you want me to"
A small gasp fled your throat, making him chuckle.
"what is it, angel?"
"I-I'm sorry I'm just not- used to this"
"Now I don't believe that" he murmured "A sweet thing like you?"
"I just-"
"What?"
"nevermind"
"If you want we could go back to my place, and you can tell me all about it with a little more privacy" he suggested, "what do you say?"
Your cheeks were as red as the fire burning in his eyes.
"I-" you stuttered
"I can show you a good time angel"
"I'm sorry" you breathed, leaning away "I'm-I'm sorry I have to go to the bathroom" You stumbled over your own words, clutching your purse and rushing off the stool and through the groups of people in the club.
You didn't even realize you were bumping and hitting every person in your trajectory as all you were focused on was that damn door right in the corner.
Oh my god, what felt like the first actual breath you'd taken in ten full minutes, finally left your mouth as you entered the bathroom.
"oh my god," you mumbled to yourself, walking to the sink to look at your reflection in the mirror.
"what the fuck was that?" you sighed
Am I dreaming? Is that it?
If that's it this is not funny brain.
I'm so confused,
This is... I mean this is just-
What the fuck is this?
He's hot. Like hot hot and I'm... You looked at yourself, and I'm me.
You took a deep breath, looking around you.
The green stalls were empty, and the music was still blaring from the other side of the door.
You could still picture him, feel him. He was so close to you, and you could feel every molecule of your being dancing as his hand remained on your leg.
God, what the fuck
I don't even know how old he is.
And just then, the door opened.
You turned the faucet on to pretend to be washing your hands, but a voice startled you.
"there you are"
Your eyes snapped open
"T-This is the women's bathroom"
Joel smirked, "you thought you could get away from me that easily?" he asked, taking a step towards you.
"I-" you took a step back, but he followed.
"I was being nice there," he said "complimented you and shit"
Your back was to a stall and he was right before you.
"and what did you do?" he asked "you ran"
"I didn't mean to, I was j-"
"what, angel?" he mocked "You got shy?"
"well don't you worry" His hand went to your chin, tilting it up "I'll fix that right up" He took another step, imprisoning you "I'll help you out sweetheart, mh?"
Your mouth gaped open to say something, but before you could, his lips were on yours, and his hands on your back were forcing you flush against him.
His tongue moved into your mouth as he quite literally shoved you into the stall behind you, pressing you against the closed door.
"thought you could get away from me?" he growled, kissing your neck as his hands roamed on your body, one of them roughly grabbing your ass "Thought I was just gonna let you go?" he asked, now looking at you.
"oh no angel" he kissed your mouth "I have to have you" he murmured "And I will" He kissed you again, and this time, you found yourself reciprocating.
This was wrong and scary and weird, and still... countless butterflies filled your belly.
"there you go" he praised you "That's a good girl" He moved some hair out of your face " 'knew you wanted this too," he said "knew you'd be good, angel" He smirked before you felt his hands go to your waist.
"turn around for me"
With a little push from him, you did, finding your cheek flush against the door.
"god baby" his hands took in every inch of you, adoration clear in his tone "Wanted to fuck this body of yours since I first saw you" he explained, as he slowly rolled your dress up to your waist until only your panties were left to cover you.
"it's what you wanted too, isn't it," he asked, suddenly grabbing your arms to force them together behind your back "You wanted to be fucked like a little slut didn't you?" he continued as his hand pulled your panties down, the cold hitting your core "didn't you angel?" he urged, his grip tightening as he kissed your neck again.
"I-" You didn't know what to say. you were feeling too many things at once.
"Tell me you want this" he breathed, and you heard his zipper being undone.
"tell me you want this angel," he asked again, his hot breath on the skin of your neck "C'mon, I know you do"
" I do" you admitted, and you felt him smirk.
"that's right" He nodded, positioning himself at your entrance "and you're gonna get it" he promised, pushing himself into you hard.
"fuck" Your moan resembled more of a scream as you tightened your fists on your back
"What angel, can't take it?" he taunted, speeding up " 's too big for you little slut?"
"y-yes" you begged, making him chuckle "I can't take it"
"yes you can" he groaned "You're gonna take it all in this little tight pussy and you're not gonna complain about it, understand?"
"understand?" he asked again, his threatening voice spilling in your ear.
"y-yes I'm sorry"
"good girl" he praised, resuming his violent pace, as a cry fled your mouth and tears filled your eyes.
He smacked your ass and you gasped, but before you could let out a moan, his hand covered your mouth.
The door had opened, and two women had walked in.
"we gotta be quiet, angel" he whispered to your ear
"can you be quiet for me?"
"can you be a good little girl and keep that pretty mouth shut for me?
"mh-mh" you nodded, your breathing made difficult by his hand on your mouth
"atta girl," he said, still fucking you, but much slower, and to your dismay, much deeper.
He was hitting undiscovered spots inside of you, and the mix of the pain from his cock stretching you with the pleasure of each thrust was making it really hard not to moan.
"fuck" he groaned softly in your ear "You've got the tightest little pussy angel," he said "Squeezing me so good" he breathed " like it's made for me"
You whined
"Like you were made to be my little slut" he whispered "and have this little cunt abused by my cock"
Your eyes were wide shut, your orgasm approaching as he kept hitting you so fucking well.
"you coming angel?" he asked and you nodded "We're gonna come together" he purred "I'm gonna fill you up real good" his breathing was ragged "and then you're gonna get out there and dance with my come leaking down your thighs"
"you understand?"
You nodded
"no cleaning up," he said "I want everyone to know how much of a slut you are"
The women's voices resumed. Or maybe they never stopped. You had no idea of what was happening beside your impending orgasm.
"fuck" he groaned "Such a good fucking slut" he whispered, his head falling in the crook of your neck, as the door opened again and the women finally got out.
His hand left your mouth
"you coming angel?"
"y-yes"
"then let it all out baby"
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Unanswered questions about Dazai's backstory that are driving me fucking insane
(Yeah, so, completely against my will, Bungou Stray Dogs has been consuming every last neuron in my brain for the past several weeks, so I thought I'd share my unraveling)
(mentions of eye injuries and self-harm/attempted suicide below the cut, if you're sensitive to those kinds of things).
(1) In season 2, episode 3, when Ango turns out to be a spy in the Port Mafia, Dazai says, "Everything I never want to lose is always lost. Everything worth wanting is lost the moment I obtain it. And nothing I pursue is worth the cost of prolonging this life, this suffering." Like! What the fuck does this mean?!?!! What happened in Dazai's life that made him think this? The way he says it indicates that him "losing things he wants to keep" has happened often enough for it to become a pattern for him, so what was Dazai talking about when he said this?
(2) In season 3, episode 3, why did Dazai say "thank you" to the old Port Mafia boss when he killed Rimbaud's double of him?
In the sub, he says "let me thank you for once," and in the dub, he says "I'll never get another chance to say this, so thank you". Why did he say that?
(3) Why did Dazai keep his eye covered as a teenager? At first, I assumed it was because Dazai had some kind of injury that he was covering, considering how easily it bled every time Dazai sustained some kind of damage to his head or face, but never to the eye directly. In episode 1 of season 2, when a bullet grazes the side of his face, his eye starts to bleed
and the same thing happens again in episode 1 of season 3 when Chuuya kicks him into a wall.
BUT! When Oda's dying and he pulls Dazai's bandages off, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with his eye. And it can't be that Dazai was just wearing them as some kind of intimidation tactic; there had to have been something wrong with it, because we see it bleed twice (even though the eye itself never sustained any direct injury), but there is no visual indication that anything is wrong with his eye, either in the flashbacks or in the present (no scars, seemingly no vision issues, and no discoloration in the eye like you might expect to see as a result of permanent damage). So I am asking WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE BANDAGES FOR
(4) Where did Dazai come from before he was in the Port Mafia? We know that he was a witness to the old boss's murder when he was 14, but Dazai wasn't an official Mafia member until he was 15 when Mori tasked him to work the Arahabaki case. Was Dazai always connected to the Mafia in some way, or did he come from a normal family before Mori inducted him?
(5) FOLLOWING THAT: where are Dazai's parents? In the "Fifteen" novel, it's stated that Dazai wasn't a mere orphan that Mori just picked up, but we don't know if Dazai's parents are dead or alive or where they would be if they were alive.
(6) What are Dazai's bandages actually for? Given Dazai's track record of suicide attempts, it's a common theory that the bandages are to hide self harm scars (I subscribe to this theory myself, as it's the most plausible), but we don't actually know because we've never seen Dazai without his bandages before.
EDIT: (7) Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. In season 3, episode 2-
What is the motivation behind this scene? Why does Dazai keep shooting? Why does he think that the soldier deserved to suffer more? Dazai offers the guy a more merciful death, but Dazai also thinks that a merciful death is "more than he deserves". Why does Dazai think this? This can't just be about this one soldier, because Dazai hasn't had any kind of encounter with him before this. Dazai is clearly having some kind of small breakdown, but what triggered it and why?
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