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daydreamgoddess14 · 1 year

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Support System pt. 10 - The Finale!

CH1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5 | CH 6 | CH 7 | CH 8 | CH 9

MASTERLIST

It's the end doo doo doo doo! The final match of the season, the ending. I really hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I have writing it. I've had the best time and I'm really proud of this one! 💜

Chapter 10

You hadn’t considered that footballers or their coaches would get nervous. But the tension in the run up to the Man City game was palpable. The whole town seemed on edge, Roy included. He’d spent each one of your Lexie nights at your house, it felt a little odd that he was there observing your boring mum routine of washing, cooking and carrying the mental load of knowing where Lexie needed to be, when and everything else in between. He didn’t ask to stay, even though you’d wanted him to, he’d said goodnight each evening and gone back to his place. By the time Lexie was back to her dads, you’d worked out that he’d been there every evening not just because he’d wanted to be, but because he’d needed to be. The build up to the game had him restless and distractible and the time with you and Lexie managed to relax him far more than sitting in an empty house, or going over and over the match with Jamie, or Nate or whoever else was free for a pint. When you’d gone to him just a day before the match, the only solace he’d found from the plays, the tactics and the team, was in you. He took his time, undressing you slowly and kissing every inch of skin as it became exposed to him.

"Let me take care of you," you whispered. You felt his head shake as he kissed down your neck.

"I've never needed anyone like I need you." He muttered, swiping a calloused thumb over your hardening nipple, "you look so fucking beautiful like this." You rolled your hips against him,

"Please, Roy. I need you-" you all but begged. All night he'd taken the lead and given you everything, losing himself in the feel of your body against his. When they won the next day, you were euphoric. Lexie and Phoebe had been in bits when the camera had focused in on Roy and Nate discussing something over an iPad and they could see that Roy was wearing his Richmond colours friendship bracelet. The late journey back from Manchester and the subsequent celebrations meant that it was Tuesday morning before you saw him again. You’d joined the slip road to the school, queuing for the carpark with the windows down and blasting 90s dance music when his car had pulled alongside yours. You and Lexie had been so engrossed in singing/shouting Robin S ‘Show Me Love’ - complete with 'big box, little box' hand dancing - that you hadn’t even seen him until Phoebe had called through the open windows.

“Morning. Congratulations on the win!” You’d called out.

“Morning. Nice dancing.”

“Especially for you.” You winked. You’d ended up parked at different ends of the carpark so he and Phoebe had waited for you by the gate as you walked down to them. You’d pulled out your phone to take a call from a recruitment agency so he’d walked alongside you while you talked and the girls ran ahead. “And that’s in Richmond? Wow, ok that sounds really interesting. Absolutely yes, send my CV over if you think I’m in with a shot. Actually, just send it over anyway - I’d be mad not to at least try,” at the front of the queue at the gates, you handed Lexie her bag and gave her a kiss whilst still on the phone, “Ok, could you just hang on one second please?” You moved the phone away from your mouth and stepped up on tiptoes to give Roy a lingering kiss. The other playground parents looked on, wide eyed. “I have to go, I love you. See you later.” You whispered, taking up the phone again and going back to the car, your hand holding onto his until you couldn’t reach any further. Lexie was with her dad during the beginning of that week so that she could go with you to the final Richmond match at the weekend, so after work you’d gone straight to Roy’s. You hopped up to sit on the counter while he cooked.

“Ted’s staying.” He told you, hands on your thighs.

“Really? That’s great!”

“He got to work this morning and Rebecca was in his office. She only fucking told him she was in love with him, that she’d help his ex get a job here if she wanted to move, she’d help them find a school for Henry… pretty much told him she’d do fucking anything if he’d say.” You leaned forward, eager to hear more,

“And did he tell her?”

“Yeah, told her he was in love with her. We walked in to find them nearly going at it in the office.” You shrieked,

“Oh god that’s so cute! At least you all know before the weekend as well.”

“Settles the lads down a bit, bunch of fucking kids sometimes.” You slid forward to wrap your legs around his hips. “Any news on that job from this morning?” His hands move up your thighs and around your waist so he can kiss your neck,

“Not yet, the agency is putting me forward. It’s in Richmond though, which would be amazing. I should hear more tomorrow.”

“And how you feeling going into your last week?”

“Happy. Scared. Nervous.”

“We’ll figure it out, you know. I won’t let you fucking drown. Season finishes at the weekend, so this time next week I’ll have loads more free time for a few weeks. I can help with Lex while you do what you need to do.” He’s turned the pan off and pulled you off the counter, taking you over to the sofa, dinner forgotten for now.

~~~~~~~

You took a further call from the recruitment agency the following day. Their client was interested in meeting you but needed an informal off-site meeting. You arranged with the recruiter to meet with them towards the end of the week just outside of town. To say you were surprised to see Keeley Jones and Rebecca Welton being led to your table was an understatement. You shook hands and sat back down before your legs could give out. The mums might have been all good, the kids, but maybe you were about to be ousted by two of the most influential women in Roy’s life? You clearly looked terrified because Keeley, to her credit, took your hand and held it,

“Oh fuck, you look so scared! I’m so sorry we ambushed you, are you ok?” You think of the night before when Roy had cooked your favourite meal while you’d taken Lexie to swimming lessons and then onto her dads. When you’d sat in his lap and pushed your fingers into the knot in his shoulder to try and relieve some of the stress of the final week of the season. When he’d lost all patience and decided on a different way to unwind, which had mostly revolved around keeping his head between your thighs for as long as you let him. You think about your 4am wake up call that morning, and the 6am follow up, where he’d interlocked your fingers above your head and pressed you into the mattress as he whispered “I could do this forever”. Whatever had changed their mind in the time since the gala, you couldn’t let it derail your future.

“Look, if you’ve suddenly come to the realisation that I’m not good enough for Roy then that’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it. But I’m not going to be scared off. He loves me and I’ll take that for as long as I possibly can because I am so, so in love with him and I will spend forever making him happy in any way I can. I’m really sorry, I’m sure you’re both lovely women and I know he values your opinions, but if he’s ever going to change how he feels about me then he’ll do it himself and he’ll tell me himself. And congratulations by the way,” you turn to Rebecca, “I heard that Ted is staying and that he finally told you he loves you. I’m so happy for you.” Keeley smiled at you while Rebecca looked curiously.

“Are you sure about this?” She asked Keeley,

“I’ve been doing some digging. Trust me, Rebecca.”

“We’re not here to try and break you and Roy up.” Rebecca said finally,

“Oh. Well then I don’t understand?”

“I’d like to interview you for a job.”

“Sorry, what? Shit, have I just fucked it up completely?”

“Nahh!” Keeley said quickly.

“Well-” Rebecca interrupted.

“No, she hasn’t. We probably scared her half to death, Rebecca! Give the poor woman a minute to recover.” You finish your water and take a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, really I am. I got completely carried away and I shouldn't have gone off like that.”

“Thank you,” Rebecca said, smiling at last. “And thank you for letting me know just how much you care about Roy.” You nod, making peace. Keeley whipped out some paperwork from her bag.

“So! Like Rebecca said, this is I guess, a final stage interview without all the previous stages? We already know about you, we'd love to know more. Our previous Director of Comms was Leslie Higgins, he moved into the Football Ops role quite a while ago now and there’s never really been the need to replace him. He and Rebecca have sort of taken on the various tasks and it’s worked fine.” She pauses for Rebecca to step in and continue,

“Now though, we’re one game away from maybe winning the Premier League just one season after coming back from relegation. That’s practically unheard of. The huge, growing success of the club, the opportunities with the Champions League next season and our plans for the future mean that we need to strengthen the internal team. KBPR can only do so much - they have other clients and I can’t ask Keeley to devote all of her time to the club.”

“We think,” Keeley started, “that with us, and Leslie and you… we could be a real Fab Four. The core AFC Richmond decision makers - with the coaches input of course.” You are stunned, to say the least.

“When you say you’ve done some digging, what exactly do you mean by that?”

“Well, when you told me who you worked for and what you’d worked on, I realised that we’d met before. I’ve been asking around people who have worked with you or who have come across you in a professional capacity to learn more. When I liked what I saw, I took it to Rebecca.”

“With Ted confirmed as staying now, I have some big plans ahead for Roy. We have some very big plans ahead as a club.”

“And you don’t think it would be weird? Me working with you, for one,” you gesture to Keeley, “or with Roy?”

“I’ve been at the club probably at least two or three times a week since the day you blocked him in on the school car park. He came in ranting and raving about some idiot driver and every day, I’ve heard him fall more in love with you. If he found out there was a way to have you in the same building every day, I think he’d be beating Rebecca’s door down himself. And working in the same building doesn’t necessarily mean you spend every waking hour together. You still have crucial jobs to do. And as for me, I'd love to work with you.” Rebecca nodded in agreement.

“The job is nothing you don’t already know, the only difference is the industry.”

“Exactly, my football knowledge is… limited at best!”

“We’re a family, we wouldn’t let you drown.” Hearing Rebecca use the same phrase as Roy struck a chord with you.

“I take it you have a job spec, contract, everything I need to read through and make a decision?”

“An interview is as much about you deciding if we’re the right fit for you, as it is for us to decide. I think you’ll find that the club's current standing means we can afford to give you a generous package, and the locality means we can support a better work-life balance.”

“Take this, read it and see what you think.” You take the folder.

“As his friends, do you think I should tell Roy now, or decide based on him not knowing? I assume we’ve met here because he doesn’t know, and inviting me to Nelson Road would be a dead giveaway?”

“Perhaps tell him about the role first and then bring in where it came from. Let him help offer an opinion based on the job alone.” Rebecca suggested. “And I do so hope you’ll agree to join us, I think you could be a truly great asset to the club.”

~~~~~~~~

You’d kept the folder at your house, not daring to leave it in a bag or your car in danger of accidentally taking it to Roy’s. Being at yours also meant you could be ‘busy’ and have Lexie as a buffer and it also being your last week at your current workplace, this also gave you an excuse for being more distracted than usual. The last game of the season was doing the same for him so his being distracted also helped you. The intimacy of spending time alone at Roy’s exposed all of your vulnerabilities. You’d spent so many nights laying in the dark in his arms listening to him talk about his family and career, and have him ask about yours, it was impossible to hide anything from him. You’d mentioned the role to him, you’d had to since he knew about the original recruiter call, and he’d reacted to it exactly as you hoped he would - excited for you to have such a great opportunity, close to home, with a package befitting your knowledge and experience. You wanted to wait until after the West Ham game to tell him exactly who the role was for. Lexie was spending the night before the match at Phoebe’s for a sleepover. The night before the Man City game meant you knew exactly how he'd want to forget the West Ham match and this time, you'd planned accordingly. You'd finished your final day at work early and had blown the cash from your leaving card on the most beautiful lingerie set you'd ever seen. You'd come back via Nelson Road to borrow his keys, and gone back to his to cook. When he got back late that afternoon, you'd set up outside under the secluded canopy in his garden with soft lights, blankets and cushions. You handed him a beer and led him outside, brought food out - including dessert, and then when you'd eaten and cleared up, you stepped in front of him and slipped your summer dress down your body. He reached out and took your hand, you'd sat in his lap with your legs either side of his. He ran his finger over the cup of the bra,

"Holy fucking shit, you're perfect,"

"Distracting enough?"

"Yeah I'd say so." He said gruffly. “It’s a good fucking job I just need to stand on the side of the pitch now.” He laughed.

The match was intense, unexpected drama on the sidelines and Isaac’s incredible goal had everyone holding their breath for another goal or for news from the Liverpool game. When the win came, no one seemed to care what the final table result was. The fans flooded the pitch to be with their team. You, Sara and the girls had stayed back a little, you could see better as Coach Lasso danced with his team surrounding him. When you let the girls onto the pitch, they run straight to Roy and he ends up with Phoebe on his front and giving a piggyback to Lexie at the same time.

“Don’t come crying to me later when you can’t walk.” You tease, finding a route past Phoebe to give him a kiss.”

“You’re not gonna fucking take care of me?” He asks, faux outraged.

“Every. Single. Day.”

“Dad!” Lexie calls, she taps Roy’s shoulder and he lets her down. Andy is coming across the pitch from the away fans side.

“Alright love.” He scoops her up and hugs her. “Congratulations,” he says to Roy who nods without greeting. “Dunno what old Mannion was doing. Made us look like fools. Do you ehh, do you know if our gaffer is ok?”

“Yeah, that old twat is fine. Just a bruised ego and a picture of his balls on the front of every paper tomorrow.” Andy shrugs.

“I uhh, I wanted to apologise to you both. I was a real dickhead-” Roy snorts a laugh, “worse than that, then. I’m sorry. I’ve been watching since the game finished. You look happy.” He turns to you,

“I am.” You say shortly, unsure whether to trust the apology.

“Good. I mean it, you look happy together. And Lexie tells me so all the time. I’m… happy for you.” You thank him and he heads off with his mates to the pub. You’re left with the feeling that you might never be friendly, but you can at least be cordial. Relieved of carrying the kids, Roy pulls you into his arms.

“He’s jealous.”

“Of me?” he laughs,

“Of me, you muppet.” He leans down to kiss your cheek and whisper in your ear, “because you're the one. You're it. You're the only one I want for the rest of my life. And he knows he fucked it up.”

“Hmm, you're pretty irresistible yourself.” The kiss you leave him with leaves you both breathless,

“Think we can find somewhere-”

“No way, there are hundreds of people here. I need to tell you something later.” He looks curiously at you, but you both get caught up in another ‘Richmond til we Die’ chant when Jamie, Keeley and a raft of players come over to find Roy. A little further through the crowd, you see Ted sweep Rebecca into his arms and kiss her. Even an hour after the game had ended, the club was still heaving with people. The fans had gone on to celebrate elsewhere but the families and friends of the players and staff remained. Rebecca had instructed the bar to stay open, insisting that she’d cover the bill. Phoebe and Lexie were still running around on the now empty pitch with Leslie’s younger children and other player’s and staff kids. You’ve told Sara about the job and you can’t wait to tell Roy. He’s sitting with Nate, both of them animatedly discussing Jamie’s Oscar winning performance with Coach Beard.

“Have you got an answer for me yet?” Rebecca asks, sitting next to you in the dugout.

“Yes, I think I do. I’d like to run it by someone in particular first though.” You catch Roy’s eye, he looks surprised but happy to see you talking to Rebecca. She waves her hand to call him over.

“Coach Kent, congratulations.”

“You too.”

“I meant your excellent girlfriend, not the match.” He cocks an eyebrow at her,

“Thanks then. She’s fucking brilliant.”

“I know. Thought I might poach her from you?” The furrow in his brow deepens with his confusion. You stand up and kiss the frown away.

“The amazing job I’ve been offered? It would be here. Working for Rebecca.” You tell him, trying to keep your voice light but nervous for his response.

“Here? Every day?”

“Yeah,” you start to mistake his hesitation for annoyance, “but if you think that’s really fucking weird, then I can tell Rebecca to stuff it - no offense, Rebecca - and I can carry on looking and something else will turn up-”

“I don’t think it’s really fucking weird. I think you should say yes. You should definitely fucking do it.”

“Yeah?”

“Fuck yeah.”

“You’d better come over tomorrow then, sign your contract.” Rebecca says with a smile. “Welcome.” You and Sara party on the pitch with the team until the girls start to flag and it’s time to go. You insist Roy stay,

“I’ll see you tomorrow, go - have an amazing night, you’ve earned it. I’m so fucking proud of you.” You kiss him and he waves you off.

~~~~~~~

You’re reading in bed when the door knocks so quietly you think you might have imagined it. Lexie is practically comatose in her bed, the combination of exhilaration and fresh air has completely wiped her out. You creep down the stairs in one of Roy’s t-shirts and open the door. Jamie Tartt is on your doorstep with an arm slung around Roy.

“Tried to get him to come to a club with us, but he made us bring ‘im ‘ere instead.” You stifle a giggle, you can see that Roy’s nowhere near as drunk as Jamie but he’s still looking at you with total adoration.

“Thanks Jamie, I’ll take it from here. You have a good night,” you look around him to the taxi down the path. Isaac and Colin are both waving madly at you. “Be safe, boys.” You wave to them and blow a kiss before slipping your arm around Roy’s waist and guiding him inside.

“Night Coach,” Jamie grins.

“Night Tartt, fuckin’ love you man. Fuckin’ love all of you.”

“We know. And we wouldn’t have been on that fuckin’ pitch without you.” Jamie gave you both a little salute and ran off back to the taxi.

“Come on, coach. Time for bed.” You lead him upstairs and sit him on the bed so you can take off his t-shirt, then you drop to your knees and unlace his trainers. You pull his hands to get him to stand up, running your hands around the waistband of his dark jeans and pulling them down. Once they’re free of his hips, he sits back down. “Come here,” you whisper, climbing into bed and pulling him with you, his body between your legs and his head on your heart.

“Feels like I won the whole fucking thing.” He whispers against your skin as he falls asleep.

#ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fic #roy kent #roy kent fluff #roy kent fanfiction #roy kent fic #roy kent x reader #roy kent x you #roy kent smut

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elminx · 3 years

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Energy Update: Uranus stations retrograde, 8/17/21

This is going to be a very Uranian week so hold onto your butts, pack your patience, and expect the unexpected.

The setup: Uranus is heavily in play all week. Uranus stations retrograde at 14 degrees Taurus on Thursday as well as making a trine to our Mercury-Mars conjunction in Virgo all week. All of this will re-activate our Saturn in Aquarius - Uranus in Taurus square energy once again. (I know, I'm sick of it too).

As one of the outer planets, it can be hard to quantify how Uranus feels on a personal level. Unless the planet is heavily aspected in an individual's chart, Uranus is normally seen as a generational aspect - it takes ~7 years for Uranus to move through each sign and so it impacts all children born within 7 years in a group fashion. It is the planet of change, rebellion, and independence - where you find Uranus in your own chart will indicate where you feel the most need to rebel and be yourself - both by house placement and by sign.

To understand Uranus's strangeness, I illustrate with this point: Uranus is the only planet to be named from Greek mythology rather than Roman. In this we see the nature of the ice giant - the energy of Uranus, though unusual, cannot be held back in its differentness. The truest expressions and most strong forward momentum of humanity are shown to be led by their call - over and over again. Uranus is the great rule-breaker - the king of "Don't Tell Me What To Do". You see this most often in its natives: both people born with Uranus heavily aspected to their personal planets or Aquarians as the outer planet is one of their co-rulers. The great ruler breaker has been at odds (square or sitting 90° apart) with Saturn for all of 2021 - this is our Irresistible Force Paradox - Uranus is the Unstoppable Force and Saturn is our Immovable Object. Since the square last went exact, they have been pulling away from each other - Uranus has been moving forward and Saturn retrograde has been moving backward. This has done a bit to lighten our load - to create much-needed space between where we've been and what we need to change to get where we are going. This comes to an end on Thursday as Uranus joins Saturn in retrograde - now the two planets are moving backward in motion together. This is going to shift this tension point inward for a month until Saturn stations direct and moves quickly to reignite this square energy last in the year. The five degrees of space between Saturn and Uranus is the most that we are going to get for this very challenging aspect - maybe take a moment and savor the in-between over the course of this week. Herein you find one of the secrets to success in handling Uranian energy: let it be. We humans will never be able to harness the powers of the outer planets. They are part of the outer force of energy that happens to us, all we can do is live in it. Uranus dictates the changes that are beyond our control, all we can do is learn to control how we handle the change. In a way, this Saturn-Uranus square is teaching us what is within the scope of what we can change (Saturn in Aquarius) and what we cannot (Uranus in Taurus). This week is focused on the latter. This energy is going to make a lot of people feel uncomfortable. The more that you hold onto the illusion of control this week, the harder this energy will be on you. The big flex will be to let it go to let it flow. With both Mercury and Mars in the mix, this shit will get personal for a lot of people. If you're feeling really "in it" this week, know that you are right on time. You may need to change something about the way that you are communicating or working to get what you want - stay open-minded to sudden changes in work or your personal life. Yes - "Open Minded" - that is a very good way to describe the upper frequency of Uranian energy. This week is a great week to practice your "Yes and" mentality. Despite our Mercury-Mars conjunction in Virgo, this isn't a great week to make plans or at the very least, to expect to plan your plans and then follow through. Uranus in Taurus is indicative of natural disaster - keep an eye out for the earthquakes, tidal waves, or volcanic eruptions in your own life. If you've been wearing self-imposed blinders, the effects of Uranus this week may feel like they came out of nowhere. Look again. Anything that is coming up now has likely had the writing on the wall for quite some time - at least through the beginning of the year or longer. Notice the breakups and the breakdowns. What happens in your life is happening for you, not to you. It will be okay. My natal Uranus is closely opposed to my Sun and Mercury so I have to live the Uranian experience and "It will be okay" is one of my favorite mantras to remind myself. You may never come to be a person who enjoys change but resisting it only ever hurts you. I have an old oracle deck that I bought probably in '96 or '97. In a card called "River," the author wrote, "When you step

into the river of life, you have three choices: you can sink, you can swim, or you can float along." As a life-longer swimmer, this has always stuck with me - both the general sentiment but also that you need to know how to do each of these three things. None is the right decision or the wrong decision in any given situation - not for sure. Not always. But it does take a very discerning eye to know the difference. When you try to swim upstream, you quickly tire. If you simply let the current take you, you make no efforts to control the outcome. If you sink without purpose, you'll drown. How do you know which is the right action? The answer here also lies in Uranus for as well as being the great breaker, he is the great Awakener. Your intuition may be especially heightened this week, if so, acknowledge it. Stay very aware and with it. Checking out during this process will be very detrimental - this is a week to stay in your own life. Uranus is the crack in the cosmic egg, the skin that grows so tight that it breaks to begin the shedding process. This is a week to really dig into the differences between fear and intuition. Fear happens anytime we encounter something that is not part of our normal programming - it's our body's defense mechanism to keep us in stasis. It is, incidentally, controlled by the planet Saturn which is always concerned with what has always been. Uranus has the opposite ideal - our ice giant says that the status is NOT quo. Uranus is always leading off into the wilderness and the unknown. Uranus drives us all to stand up on our own two feet so that we can see. I am called to return to the Icelandic joke that I made some time back: When you are lost in the forest in Iceland, Just Stand Up. Here the Irresistible Paradox is formed: we are so fearful of the unknown that we are afraid to even LOOK at it. We lie down and then, we get lost. But the answer lies in the connection point between Mercury and Uranus - you need to open your eyes. Sure, there will be uncertainty in anything right now but you can alleviate some of your uncertainty through careful observation. Lastly, this is a week to be prepared. As I said before, Uranus in Taurus is contraindicated for natural disasters (I find it interesting that we are in the middle of this transit as we really get our first serious looks into what climate change is doing to our planet). We are also, here on the east coast, facing the threat of a tropical storm. It's a good week to check your emergency preparedness - to make sure you're still stocked in TP and canned goods or whatever you might need to get yourself through a rough patch (apply this metaphorically as needed.)

Do you like my work? Please consider supporting my writing by Buying Me A Ko-Fi.

#witchblr #words #mine #energy update #August 2021 #Saturn square Uranus #Taurus-Aquarius #Uranus #Uranus retrograde #Uranus station #Uranus in Taurus #Uranus trine Mercury #Uranus trine Mars #healing through astrology #astrology #transits

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rebeebit · 3 years

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So, your parents are getting old.

TL;DR

Stuff: start cleaning out stuff they don’t need now. You might read “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning” as a guide.

Where to live: research retirement and assisted living options in your parents’ area.

Medical considerations: HIPPA authorization, advanced directives, long term care insurance

Financial considerations: accounts, power of attorney and trusts

Dementia: what to remember when your parents forget.

So, your parents are getting old.

Most of us have parents. Many, if not most, of us will be supporting them somehow as they age. And I read somewhere that most people are not happy with how their parents have prepared for aging (I’d cite it, but I ran across that statistic a couple of months ago and ... you’ll have to take my word for it). I’ve been observing my parents as they age for a while, and in the past two years, my sister and I have become very active in the process of making sure they are safe and cared for. I decided to write a guide to help all of my friends who have parents so maybe you can avoid some of the mistakes my parents made. There are lots of resources out there, so this is by no means exhaustive, but I hope someone finds it useful!

STUFF

This is the easiest way to start, it doesn’t require uncomfortable conversations or lengthy phone calls, but could instead be an opportunity to reminisce and connect with your parents. If your parents have lived in their house for any length of time, they’ve probably amassed some STUFF. My folks lived in their house for 43 years, and they abhorred wastefulness. They also had loads of room for storage - you can imagine how much stuff they accumulated after 43 years! My mistake: I didn’t reclaim items I wanted over the years to the degree that I could have, and had to scramble to get the things I wanted when the time came to move my parents out of their house. So here are some ideas.

Your parents might feel strongly about passing on certain items - find out what these are if you don’t already know. Then you could suggest they give them to you for your birthday or another holiday. This way they get the satisfaction of knowing you have their special belongings while they’re still alive.

Did you leave your stuff at their house when you moved out, and you just never got around to getting it? That’s on YOU! Get it now, or get rid of it, if possible!

As you’re going through your stuff, you might “accidentally” run across items your parents don’t use anymore. Help them by donating these items or throwing them away.

The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margareta Magnusson is an excellent guide to this process, and a quick read. Read it, and if possible, suggest that your parents read it.

We were able to move our parents’ photo albums, but they had boxes and boxes of unsorted photos and even slides. Encourage them to go through these old memories now and put them in albums - or better yet, digitize them. They won’t have room for all those boxes when they downsize.

If you wind up having to get rid of everything at once, like we did, there will undoubtedly be heartbreak as valued heirlooms get sent to the thrift shop (or the dumpster) and even loss of some income because you won’t have time to drag it to consignment shops. The more you deal with now, the happier everyone will be with the outcome.

WHERE TO LIVE

Aging in place seems like the best option for many people, but it can be quite costly. There’s no deadline by which your parents should move out of their house, and perhaps they never will. This is where you might have a conversation about the future with your parents: what do they envision for themselves, what do they want? This is a great way to phrase it, as it sends the message that you want to know their desires for aging, so you can meet their wishes as best you can. Regardless of what they say, you can do a little homework into options in their geographic area. We didn’t make too many mistakes in this area, but my parents weren’t willing to move in advance of it being a necessity, and then when it WAS necessary in the summer of 2020 … well, who would move their parents into communal living during a pandemic?

Several friends told me how important it is to move earlier rather than later, as it makes it easier to add levels of care as your parents age. Keep this in mind! Find out what is available, and make sure options for living include assisted living, skilled nursing, AND memory care. The last two are not interchangeable: memory care is very specific for dementia patients. If you have time, take a tour of a few places to get an idea of what life might be like for your parents there.

The move to assisted living was very important for our mother. Our father was hospitalized 15 or more times in the past year, and two of those included multiweek stays in nursing rehab - in fact, he’s still there now, and it’s been over 11 weeks (as of 7.24.21). The time alone in the house was difficult for my mother, and she will benefit from routines, social interaction, and 3 meals a day that she doesn’t have to cook for herself ... among other benefits! Moving was so hard for them to contemplate because they didn’t want to leave their community - which is very understandable - but moving gets much more difficult as your parents age, and in my mom’s case, as her dementia has progressed.

MEDICAL CONSIDERATIONS

Helping your parents navigate the healthcare system is difficult. I won’t claim to be an expert in this at all, but will at least tell you what I’ve encountered.

RIGHT NOW: find out if your parents have long-term care insurance. If one or both of your parents has a lengthy stay in the hospital/nursing home, Medicare will eventually STOP covering them, even if they need skilled nursing or memory care. This will easily start costing $350/day, which is $100,000/year. Long-term care will kick in after 90 days in hospital/nursing/memory care, and will cover most, if not all, of the costs.

You will eventually need HIPAA authorization with your parents’ doctors. This allows the doctor to talk freely to you about your parents’ health. Without it, the doctor can listen to your concerns, but they cannot share information. My mother was reluctant to give this to us, but when she finally did, we were able to get her evaluated for dementia and take away her car keys.

If you live close enough to go to doctor appointments with your parents, find a way to do this. When my father returned from one of his earlier but more serious hospitalizations, I requested to join him at his follow-up appointment so I could hear what the doctor had to say and ask my own questions. My father is a reasonable guy and allowed this, and it was really helpful.

Advanced Directives are their medical wishes about resuscitation. It’s a morbid conversation, and you may not want to discuss the details with them, but you should make sure they have their wishes in place.

While you’re on morbid topics, make sure you know their wishes regarding funeral and memorial services and burial arrangements. Some people even want input into their own obituaries. We knew both my parents wanted to be cremated (and where they wanted us to scatter the ashes), but we were surprised to learn my dad did not want any services. Good thing we asked!

FINANCIAL CONSIDERATIONS

For your peace of mind, you will want to know what the state of your parents’ finances is, and you will likely need to manage these finances at some point. Here is what I learned about this realm of the aging process:

Set up autopay for as many bills as you can for them, if they haven’t done so already. As my father’s health situation became more overwhelming, bills got overlooked and they started having to pay late fees. This is an easy step that you can do now and avoid the hassle later.

Suggest your parents simplify things. Do they have multiple credit cards, or multiple bank accounts? Suggest that they consolidate. Again, life gets more complicated with aging, and it becomes harder to manage. Trying to keep track of multiple accounts will be a headache for them, and they could make costly mistakes.

Make sure your parents have designated beneficiaries for all accounts. Apparently the probate process after a person dies is lengthy and annoying, and not something you’ll want to have to deal with on top of your grief when your parents pass away. On active accounts, like checking or savings accounts, try to get your name put on the account. This will help you with managing their finances when the time comes. Banks will literally not talk to you if you are not the account owner or don’t have POA.

Power of Attorney. This document WILL have to be signed, and you will want to discuss with your parents when, not if, they want to do this. The sooner the better. Sign it and scan it, and save it on your phone. This way you can email it to whoever needs it immediately so you can manage all of your parents’ affairs. I needed POA to cancel their phone service, sell their house, sell their car ... you name it.

Finally, if their finances are looking good, read on. Talk to your parents about putting their assets in a trust, especially if you have kids. If you’ve read this far, your parents probably want your kids (and you) to have something of their estate after they’re gone, but they can’t leave anything behind if they haven’t protected their assets. Medical care is expensive, and Medicaid will not kick in until you have only about $1,500 to your name, so protecting assets is important for some people. I don’t know much about this process, but if it is a concern for your parents, encourage them to reach out to their lawyer and financial advisor to take care of this.

DEMENTIA

My mother’s dementia has been the most challenging part for my sister and me over the past several years, but if you think this is in your future, it doesn’t have to be. As a society we’ve gotten better at talking about mental health, and that should also extend to dementia. As with any other health problem, early detection and intervention will lead to better outcomes. In my mother’s case, we attempted to intervene in 2017 but were unsuccessful. My mother was finally diagnosed in January 2021, but at this point she had progressed to mild dementia, and has been unable to process or accept the diagnosis. This has caused her to have worse anxiety because she’s upset about forgetting things, and fewer coping skills because she doesn’t recognize what is wrong with her. While early intervention may not prolong the life of your parent by much, it will lead to better quality of life - which is why you have read this far in the first place, you want your parents to be safe and cared for!

A primary care doctor will do a preliminary screening for dementia, so it is important for this screening to be on your parents’ radar as soon as possible. At this point, it is not automatically done at a certain age; you have to ask for it (which is idiotic, but that’s our health care system, so…). The screening will be important because it will hopefully give you peace of mind that any memory problems are age-related, and not a cause for concern. If not, it will allow the doctor to refer your parent to a specialist and get the appropriate interventions. While there is no cure for Alzheimer’s, there are some drugs that show promise, but also processing and accepting the diagnosis are important for implementing coping skills.

If your parents are diagnosed with dementia, there are loads of resources out there to help. It’s really hard for children to cope with this disease in their parents, as it’s the beginning of the role-reversal where YOU become the parent. Some tips that have resonated with me are that, in dementia, the brain still processes emotions normally, even if memories are starting to erode. So when you inevitably get impatient, frustrated, or even angry with your parent, keep this in mind: they won’t remember why you got angry, they will just remember how you made them feel. Depression and dementia go hand-in-hand because dementia patients get told so often “don’t you remember?” “I already told you that!” and so on. I am by no means perfect in how I handle my mother, but this tip has helped me find patience and calm.

If you’re like me, and you’ve seen both of your grandmothers and your mother decline due to dementia, you have more than a little concern about what the future holds for you. I recommend reading Remember by Lisa Genova (author of Still Alice). The book eased my anxiety about memory lapses I’ve noticed in myself, as lately I regard any lapse as a harbinger of dementia. She also has tips for improving your memory and for preventing Alzheimer’s - which my mother and likely my grandmother had. The number one tip? Sleep.

REACH OUT!!

I was fortunate to have many good friends lend their ears to me while I’ve been in the process with my parents, and several who have been through this and offered their advice and support as well. It was invaluable to have this support system, so I offer that to you. Please reach out if you have questions, want advice, or just want to vent about what you’re going through. If you like, add comments about your own experience below.

#aging parents #aging #dementia #assisted living #long term care

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viktorfm · 4 years

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(MAXENCE DANET-FAUVEL, NONBINARY) - Have you seen VIKTOR SAMUELS? VIKTOR is in HIS/THEIR SENIOR year. The VISUAL ARTS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say HE/THEY are OBSERVANT, INGENIOUS, RETICENT and DEPENDENT. Rumors say they’re a member of KINCAID. I heard from the gossip blog that THEY'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THEIR THERAPIST. (JAMES. 21. EST. THEY/THEM.)

dont. look at me. i know. anyways if it wasnt obvs i abandoned cupid (n darrow) in order 2 bring the two ocs tht he ws inspired by n ws a combination of bt. theyre better as different ppl methinks.

DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS TW

aesthetic.

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts, graveyards and half-empty wine bottles, sitting there for hours and talking to nothing, about nothing, a god complex, gold rings adorning both hands, barbwire baseball bats, having never played baseball in your life, deep eyebags and broken mirrors, a permanent chip on one’s shoulder, yearning, longing, wishing.

basics.

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - january 2nd, 1996

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′1″

hometown: preaker, vermont

sexuality: pansexual uwu

stats

favorite song: disorder, joy division / it’s getting faster, moving faster / now it’s getting out of hand / on the tenth floor, down the back stairs / it’s a no man’s land / lights are flashing, cars are crashing / getting frequent now / i’ve got the spirit, lose the feeling / let it out somehow

background.

born to mama and papa (preacher) samuels in preaker, vermont - fifteen minutes after his twin sister, tatiana samuels. years later, rosa samuels joined the gang.

was an awkward, quiet kid growing up, he didn’t interact well with others and preferred being left alone to dig up worms and draw on the walls of their childhood home. the only exception was his twin, really.

as he got older he grew out of this, but instead became like … sort of an asshole? maybe to compensate for years of childhood awkwardness. he’s the sort of person who will bite the hand that feeds him & developed into a full time nuisance by middle school, unlike tatiana who was much more subtle about her conniving manners.

always has been a fan of ‘darker’ materials. grim & creepy morbid shit. probably the biggest tim burton fan, ever since he was a kid … not a good look for a preacher’s son, but he never really felt ‘in’ with the rest of his family to begin with. classic black sheep syndrome.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid that probably prompted one or two or five phone calls home to assure everything was fine.

just really had a knack for art at a young age, from drawing to painting to playing with clay. it’s always been his thing and probably is the only thing he’s good at.

being twins with tatiana was hard. they were near opposite besides both being quite mean-spirited. tatiana handled being in public better, left a better image behind - but viktor had talent, more than she did. they loved each other deeply - y’know, those unbreakable twin bonds as cliche as it sounds - but found each other as competition for their parents’ attention. a rivalry for affection.

in high school is when viktor really started to act out. it started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service & almost had an exorcism performed on him.

his only redeemable trait was like … just his sheer talent in the arts. was in a 3d art ap course and specialized in sculptures. he could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because he was the problem child, the one who deserved to be disciplined for all his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with whatever she wanted much easier. on the bright-side, for her, i guess.

not a very motivated person - wasn’t planning on going to college, much less going to yates but his parents literally wrote & sent his college application for him because they weren’t going to house a deadbeat but had too much heart to kick him out onto the streets. cool!

he’s actually pretty smart but he just doesn’t apply himself. has a minor in english because he didn’t care for an extra course-load, but he’s good at writing & analyzing literature. is going to use it to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s. not for the kids, but because he likes to leave a trail of terror in whatever he does.

has been experimenting with himself since high school but college is where he really had started to crack down on himself. was out as pansexual & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college just … not to his parents, who don’t really need to know.

if you asked him if he believed in twins having a psychic connection with each other - he’d tell you he wouldn’t know. it felt believable at times, but sometimes he had no idea what was going on inside of tatiana’as head. on the other hand - viktor had always felt oddly transparent to her, like she knew all of his moves before he did. the only person who could predict him accurately.

( tw death, grief, overdose / hospitalization beyond this point )

when tatiana disappeared, viktor knew something was up. it was a twist in his gut, pure instinct that something wasn’t right. and it wasn’t right - and when she was proclaimed missing, they couldn’t find her.

and when tatiana died - viktor knew. it felt wrong, something cut so severely in him he could pinpoint her death to the second. he didn’t know how, or why, but he knew it. knew it before anybody else had.

afterwards he went on a sort of bender. he’d begun to struggle with a mild drug addiction late senior year of high school / early college, but he was managing it up until this point.

his mental health had also sunk to an all-time low, when it’d never been great to begin with. (manic & depressive episodes. once fixated on a sculpting project for six months and then knocked it off the table and destroyed it as soon as he finished it for no apparent reason.)

tatiana’s body wasn’t found immediately, and when it was … viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing & being hospitalized. spent six months in & out of psychiatric care after that.

came back to yates to finish his senior year because … for the reasons above, he hadn’t been able to complete it. just wants to get his credits and get out of here.

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief - causes him to spiral and be unpredictable in regards of his mental health. he stopped taking his medication, so. :/ some days are alright, other days are pretty bad.

personality & facts.

the human embodiment of a gremlin that was fed after midnight. a goblin, if you will. one of those cats with a narrow head and really big ears … that’s them!

a big horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies & probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than they should because they just … love those black & white vertical-striped pants.

can appreciate the ~urban legends~ at yates and likes to feed into the fear that surrounds them. is probably the cause of a few ‘anomalies’ and ‘paranormal sightings’ because they’re just … a jerk.

fashion alternates between e-boy (they would be tiktok famous if they were 17 & didn’t think that a majorly minor based app was weird.), millennial beetlejuice, and goth in a crop top & sweatpants. big fan of crop tops and a big fan of sweatpants.

they can be really fucking mean? petty, aggressive, a major instigator. will literally spit in your face for little to no reason, you could just look at them the wrong way. the kind of person who will stick their gum into someone else’s hair. other than that? they’re like … sort of okay. they’re not always mean, just a dick about 90% of the time lmao

like okay yeah they’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except they feel like it and believes it. it’s fine, they’re fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact that they’re probably getting into a fight whenever, considers themself to be a lover and not a fighter but that’a primarily because they fuck a lot. uses it as a coping mechanism, like they’re this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ and it’s … a lot. might have a problem with hypsersexuality but they’re not fully aware of it.

the preacher’s whore son, basically :)

pansexual & nonbinary, switches between he & they pronouns often and without a pattern, but they have such a fragile grip on their identity that you could call them ‘dog-faced bitch’ and they’d turn around like. sup.

vastly impulsive … like i said, they destroy their own creations for the fun of it. spends all their money on useless shit, will cheat on someone because they feel like it & likes the thrill, screams into the night sky frequently like a cat in heat.

will also spend months creating useless shit for no reason too. spent six of them sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of them & then took a sledgehammer to it.

they’re very super dramatic. would play the organ at church when nobody was looking after them and service was about to start. would just churn out these super haunting, creepy melodies like they were phantom of the opera. would do the same exact thing at home on their keyboard with the pipe organ setting whenever they got grounded until their parents took it away hbdsjfngkh

will absolutely not talk about their ‘time away’ because it’s not anyone’s business, not even their own younger sister. still refuses to talk about tatiana’s death, or their mental health, or their addiction (fallen back into it but it hasn’t gotten severe … yet :/), or anything involving their own emotions.

will just change the topic abruptly, no warning. asks about the jonas brothers instead and they fucking hate the jonas brothers.

that being said they’re absolutely not over tatiana’s death & it’s to the point of obsession over it. like there’s some kind of secret that needs to be uncovered, even though there just. isn’t. tatiana was their rock and they were pretty much dependent on her. kept them grounded. could control them when nobody else could, got into their head easier than others. it’s sort of like rosa lost two siblings that day because viktor hasn’t been the same since.

emotionally unavailable while also crying twice a day. cries during their brawls but still wins. is stony-faced when they tell you they cheated on you with your much hotter best friend.

will tell you straight up what they want from you, no bullshit & no beating around the bush. just blunt. if they want to fuck, nothing else, then that’s it. if they feel deviation or developing feelings then they’ll ghost in less than a second. is awful like that but feels no shame.

but also emotional as shit and it’s confusing. will cry on a whim and then flip you off if you try to console them or ask them what’s up. will bite you.

they go to therapy but they just fuck around and wastes their therapists’ time … also is fucking their therapist, but that’s neither here nor there. so they’re not really getting the help they need.

likes to be intimidating but not … with their body or anything because they’re a twig but uses their love & knowledge of horror and creepy shit to their advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before (also is a big fan of sfx makeup & has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids around with a chainsaw without the chain on halloween every year.

generally never doing good, both mental health wise & morally. would probably steal candy from a baby for funsies.

i don’t know if there’s a good to them somewhere deep down, but they don’t see any issues with themself either. nothing really breaks through to them anymore because the only person who ever made them stop and think about their actions was tatiana, and well, y’know. :/

an introverted reclusive type who doesn’t like most people or going out, but does so anyway if it means a quick high & a cheap thrill.

pretty observant and likes to analyze people even though they’re often like … partially wrong. judgmental because they like to make people feel bad, not because they’re a righteous mighty person. because they’re not. so like, a hypocrite!

wanted connections.

religious trauma? oh worm ;; three cheers fr <3 guilt <3 anyways uh. just people tht viktor hs known thru the church in some way even tho hes a fkn. freak now. maybe even family friends.

the horror of our love :/ ;; hmm. any romance tht cld b toxic i think this cld fit. just rly a bad fit. viktor doesnt rly know hw to love so nothing rly lasts bt. maybe they try n try n nothing works bt they keep trying. cld also just be anything unrequited.

little fkn gremlins ;; theyre all evil n mean. bt theyre all friends. <3

you are nothing ;; uuh. enemy plots. spicy enemies. rly bad enemies. rivals. they r brutal towards each other bcos nothing viktor does is ever soft.

fuck u dont pity me ;; uh. people who try to get close to viktor n he just. bites at them. he’s like no. bc he assumes ppl who r kind in response 2 his vileness r. theres smth wrong w them. n it might hv to do with pity. n he hates pity.

ugh. locals x ;; ppl who also grew up around preaker, vermont. the samuels r <3 well known folks n the uh. hm. the murder is an ongoing case. so they cld know abt it <3

dont tell anybody x ;; this is for soft plots. i dont know much about soft plots but.

maybe i am part of the problem ;; the problem is chlamydiagate. this is a hook-ups connection. fwbs n one night stands. ppl viktor hs brutally ghosted. he doesnt acknowledge their existence outside of these events, perhaps.

dont u just wna go apeshit ;; this is where viktor becomes a bad influence.

bt uh. anything. pelase

#yatesintro #death tw #grief tw #murder tw #addiction tw #drug abuse tw #hospitalization tw #overdose tw #hypersexuality mention #religion mention #zooweemama

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viktcrr · 4 years

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「maxence danet-fauvel & nonbinary」⇾ samuels, viktor, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he/they are a capricorn and 24 years old. he/they are studying visual arts, living in noland and can be observant, ingenious, reticent & dependent. when i see him/them i am reminded of a sculptor’s hands clay-ridden, the insistent hum of tv static, and a crying preacher inside a dusty funeral home. ⇽「james & 21 & est & they/them.」

hllo !!! i’m james n here’s one of my big idiot muses <3 he’s not actually dumb he’s :/ a bit evil. bt thts okay hes still <3 beloved <3 LKDSFHLSADLKGFSHLKD anyways!

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

aesthetic.

basic info.

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′1″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: pansexual uwu

stats

inspired by: beetlejuice (beetlejuice), sid (toy story), jack sparrow (pirates of the caribbean), francis wilkerson (malcolm in the middle), azula (avatar: the last airbender), vicky (the fairly oddparents), stu macher / billy loomis (scream), marshall lee (adventure time), bojack horseman (bojack horseman), any it’s always sunny character :/

biography.

born to mama and papa (preacher) samuels in rochester, new york - fifteen minutes after his twin sister, tatiana samuels. years later, rosa samuels joined the gang.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid that probably prompted one or two or five phone calls home to assure everything was fine.

just really had a knack for art at a young age, from drawing to painting to playing with clay. it’s always been his Thing and probably is the only thing he’s good at.

his only redeemable trait was like … just his sheer talent in the arts. was in a 3D art AP course and specialized in sculptures. he could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

not a very motivated person - wasn’t planning on going to college, much less going to radcliffe but his parents literally wrote & sent his college application for him because they weren’t going to house a deadbeat but had too much heart to kick him out onto the streets. cool!

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

afterwards he went on a sort of bender. he’d begun to struggle with a mild drug addiction late senior year of high school / early college, but he was managing it up until this point.

tatiana’s body wasn’t found immediately, and when it was … viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing & being hospitalized. spent six months in & out of psychiatric care after that.

came back to radcliffe to finish his senior year because … for the reasons above, he hadn’t been able to complete it. just wants to get his credits and get out of here.

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief, especially since the one year anniversary of tatiana’s death was this month (january) - causes him to spiral and be unpredictable in regards of his mental health. he stopped taking his medication, so. :/ some days are alright, other days are pretty bad.

UPDATE: now that summer’s come n go ... viktor hs been thru <3 a lot <3 recently. switched therapists (his :/ last one got her license revoked) & started new medications, went to a treatment center briefly ‘cos .. he wasn’t doing too well :/ bt now he’s back baybey! trying to be better n trying to be sober but ... :/

personality.

the human embodiment of a gremlin that was fed after midnight. a goblin, if you will. one of those cats with a narrow head and really big ears … that’s them!

can appreciate the lore & cryptids at radcliffe and likes to feed into the fear that surrounds them. is probably the cause of a few ‘anomalies’ and ‘paranormal sightings’ because they’re just … a jerk.

like okay yeah they’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except they feel like it and believes it. it’s fine, they’re fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact that they’re probably getting into a fight whenever, considers themself to be a lover and not a fighter but that’a primarily because they fuck a lot. uses it as a coping mechanism, like they’re this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ and it’s … a Lot. might have a problem with hypsersexuality but they’re not fully aware of it.

the preacher’s whore son, basically :)

vastly impulsive … like i said, they destroy their own creations for the fun of it. spends all teir money on useless shit, will cheat on someone because they feel like it & likes the thrill, screams into the night sky frequently like a cat in heat.

will also spend months creating useless shit for no reason too. spent six of them sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of them & then took a sledgehammer to it.

will just change the topic abruptly, no warning. asks about the jonas brothers instead and they fucking hate the jonas brothers.

emotionally unavailable while also crying twice a day. cries during their brawls but still wins. is stony-faced when they tell you they cheated on you with your much hotter best friend.

but also emotional as shit and it’s confusing. will cry on a whim and then flip you off if you try to console them or ask them what’s up. will bite you.

likes to be intimidating but not … with their body or anything because they’re a TWIG but uses their love & knowledge of horror and creepy shit to their advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before (also is a big fan of sfx makeup & has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids around with a chainsaw without the chain on halloween every year.

generally never doing good, both mental health wise & morally. would probably steal candy from a baby for funsies.

an introverted reclusive type who doesn’t like most people or going out, but does so anyway if it means a quick high & a cheap thrill.

wanted connections.

a roommate… but it’s an absolute nightmare to live with him.

enemies… because viktor would have a lot of them…

familiar faces… people who knew tatiana or of her / were her friends. maybe even those who dated her, and who viktor would’ve tried to intimidate / scare at any given chance :/

pitiful glances… people who take pity on viktor and he hates it sooo much.

hooligan gremlin kids… just a friend group of grown ass adults who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers.

high school girlfriend… probably the one he lost his virginity to inside his family church :/

childhood acquaintances… people who knew him from his youth.

exes… good & bad terms, but mostly bad terms because viktor is an actual demon. probably cheated on them.

soft… i don’t know if he’s soft towards anyone and/or is capable of it but we can try. we can try.

unrequited… either viktor just doesn’t like them or he’s holding back because he’s :/ got issues with relationships & is self-sabotaging as one does

enemies with Tension… of the … spicy kind if you know what i mean. wink.

friends… old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. i don’t know how many he had but if your muse likes to cause a ruckus and fuck shit up then viktor’s your man.

hook-ups… current or old. friends with benefits, one night stands, anything and everything because he fucks around a lot.

ride or die… friendship but make it extreme.

bad influence… he’s just toxic to be around and brings out the worst in people :/

bad egg… he’s gotten into a few fights :/ maybe you witnessed it. maybe you were in it.

literally anything i wld love all sorts of plots.

#ruhqintro #death tw #grief tw #drug abuse tw #addiction tw #overdose tw #hospitalization tw #hypersexuality tw #religion mention

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malxlawson · 4 years

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— && guests may mistake me as ( halsey ), but really i am ( amalia 'mal' lawson + cis female + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 8/6/1995 ). i am applying for the ( maintenance manager ) position as part of the EHP and would like to live in suite ( 202 ). i should be hired because i am ( + passionate, charismatic, thorough ), but i can also be ( - prideful, dramatic, argumentative ) at times. personally, i like to ( creating street art, volunteer community work, organizing protests ) when off the clock, but that won’t interfere with work. thank you for your consideration!

aaaand here we come with our favorite revamped heathen! mal hasn’t had quite as much changed - just a nice lil face lift and we love that for her.

before we get super into it: we have a stats page and a pinterest for your viewing pleasure.

going a little heavy on the triggers just because i want to be sure to cover all my bases!! most everything is just a mention, but we gotta be safe kids! take care of yourselves and remember ilysm.

( pregnancy tw, miscarriage tw, police brutality mentions tw, substance abuse tw )

- amalia raelle lawson was born august 6th, 1995 to marshal and cherisse lawson in oakland, california.

- marshal owned a local bbq restaurant and cherisse was an er nurse. both grew up in rough neighborhoods with rough childhoods, but vowed to make their kids’ lives better than their own.

- three years after mal came into their lives, they had a son; jayden.

- from that day on, mal had a best friend and confidant that she’d go to the ends of the earth to keep by her side.

- their childhoods weren’t easy in the way most kids are - their mom worked long hours and their dad spent most of his days at the restaurant. when their parents were home though (if cherisse wasn’t sleeping off a shift change), they spent their time with their community - be it at the restaurant or at block parties - trying to better it in any way they could manage.

- police brutality mention tw despite their efforts, their community was still plagued by all the injustices every other predominantly black community faces. from a young age, mal learned that the justice system wasn’t built to serve her or the people she considered family.

- police brutality mention tw she was six the first time she heard about a family friend being a victim of excessive force; nine when she saw it. for years after that, she saw mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, and cousins coming to mourn their loved ones - either locked up or taken from them too soon.

- instead of becoming numb to these tragedies, a fire was lit in amalia to change the system - even if she had to dismantle it one piece at a time.

- in the mean time, mal found an outlet for her emotions in art - specifically painting. she started with watercolors and crayolas, but once her parents realized her abilities were beyond what they should have been for a kind her age, they put whatever extra they could manage into mal and her passion for art.

- she was fourteen when she was introduced to street art - graffiti, if you want to get technical. his name was trey and amalia was instantly enamored by him. trey ran with a rougher crowd than mal was used to, but he softened around her.

- pregnancy tw they were young, in love, and reckless. she was fifteen when mal found out she was pregnant. while she wasn’t thrilled about becoming another statistic, she was thrilled about the idea of having a child.

- not entirely pleased with the situation, but always willing to support their children, mal’s parents welcomed trey into the family with open arms and began planning what was sure to be a life full of love for the newest addition to the lawson family.

- miscarriage tw three months into the pregnancy, amalia started to experience cramping and spotting. worried it may be something serious, she had her mom take her to the hospital. it was there they confirmed that mal was experiencing a miscarriage.

- everything changed after that. amalia was no longer the girl who wanted to fight the world’s injustices - she was just a girl who wanted to fight the world. she was angry and bitter at everyone and everything.

- substance abuse tw her relationship with trey quickly began to deteriorate and she turned, for the first time, to the rougher crew he hung out with. booze and drugs quickly became a way for mal to cope with the pain she carried around. she started small - cigarettes and pot - before graduating to the harder stuff, like coke and prescription pills.

- substance abuse tw skipping school to get loaded became a regular occurrence and when the truancy officers showed up at the lawson’s front door, her parents sat mal down for an at home intervention. for as much as they yelled and cried and offered treatment, amalia wasn’t hearing any of it. it wasn’t until jayden snuck into her room late one night to ask if he was going to lose mal like one of his friends had lost his older brother that mal realized her actions weren’t only effecting her life.

- miscarriage tw just before her junior year - with the help of her parents - mal decided it was best for her to leave public school and finish the rest of her schooling online. the same time she started online schooling, amalia started painting again. something she hadn’t done since she found out she’d miscarried.

- being able to stay home meant mal had the space and time to heal in her own ways. when she wasn’t doing school work, amalia was painting to help clear her head. it took some time, but she was finally able to tell her parents what she was going through, both mentally and physically.

- miscarriage tw after she miscarried, mal started to suffer from chronic period and pelvic pain, as well as painful intercourse. she’d also been suffering from symptoms of depression, all of which help lead her down the destructive path she’d gone down.

- several doctor trips later, mal was diagnosed with endometriosis and depression and quickly began treatments for both. despite starting treatments for her endometriosis, doctors told mal the likelihood of her conceiving again was highly unlikely.

- mal hadn’t expected to hear at 16 that biological children may never be in her future and she was devastated, but she had her support system and their love and willingness to do whatever they could for her helped her cope in a much healthier way.

- by seventeen, amalia was feeling like her life was back on track, though drastically different than she’d imagined. she finished her diploma early and began working for her dad in the restaurant; serving, cooking, even helping fix things when they broke down. slowly but surely, mal mended her relationship with her parents and earned back their trust.

- one day, after some kids had vandalized the restaurant, marshal asked mal if she’d help cover the graffiti. jumping at the chance, amalia spent three days finishing her first big piece - which is still her favorite to this day - a portrait of her family and the community that kept the restaurant going. abstract and colorful, full of life and vibrancy, mal’s piece drew a lot of attention and several offers for her to commission other pieces.

- for the next three years, mal worked at the restaurant and took commissions when she could. life seemed normal again. she even reconnected with trey, mending the relationship that had been broken.

- the day trey proposed was the happiest day of mal’s life. she’d been beyond thrilled! after everything they’d been through, he still wanted to be with her. unfortunately, the bliss didn’t last. their engagement abruptly ended and mal decided it was best if she get away for a while, so as to not slip back into destructive patterns.

- a quick google search brought amalia to the malnati website and their employee housing program. applying was a no brainer and a month later she and jayden were packing their bags and moving to chicago.

- she started as a maid and, in the four years she’s been there, has moved up to the maintenance manager position.

hcs!

- when she’s not working, mal’s usually painting in her suite or sketching at one of the many parks in chicago during the day. at night, you’ll find her taking full advantage of chicago’s nightlife. night’s in for mal lawson are few and far between.

- drugs tw she skates a fine line when it comes to sobriety. she’s careful to drink or use just enough to be sure she’ll have a good time, but it’s a slippery slope. in the four years she’s been in chicago, mal’s slowly started doing more and more, telling herself she’s got a handle on it. truth be told, she’s teetering on the edge of a full blown problem again.

- super into video games, but partial to anything involving zombies. mal loves a zombie - don’t ask me why. she’s usually down to play among us, valorant, fortnight, and is always down for a little animal crossing when she needs something more chill.

- 90′s hip hop & r&b are mal’s shiiiiiit. she’s at her happiest when she’s got a little tupac on in the background.

- also don’t you dare try to tell her he’s not alive in cuba somewhere living his best life. she ain’t havin’ it.

- when she’s angsty/sad/angry her go to playlist is a lot of punk, rock, grunge. especially of the 90′s persuasion. she stays on brand. her favorites are the offspring, nirvana, the foo fighters, soundgarden, stone temple pilots, the smashing pumpkins, sonic youth, and pixies.

- she’s gluten intolerant and vegetarian.

- mal is a cult classic movie kind of gal. donnie darko, pulp fiction, rocky horror are all on her list of favorites. she’s never going to turn down a good horror/thriller marathon, either.

- she plays a little piano and a little guitar. she picked them up after she started online schooling. she finds both relaxing. she’s by no means going to make a career out of it, but it’s fun!

- hella resting bitch face, but she really is super friendly! she just doesn’t always look it.

- don’t test her, though. she’s got attitude for days and she isn’t afraid to let you know what she thinks or how she feels about you. we ain’t got no time for games, okay?! okay.

- amalia has also very much immersed herself in community work since moving to chicago, especially on the south side. if her parents taught her anything growing up, it’s that she should give back the her community as much as she’s able.

- a lot of her street art celebrates women of color and their beauty.

- not a fan of cops, still. soz pals.

- when it comes to work, she does her best to make the malnati a decent place to work. she’s all about positive reinforcement and making sure she takes care of her employees. she’s not gonna shy away from telling you ya fucked up, though. she’ll say it with love, though, while also calling you a giant pain in her ass. but with love. okay?! okay.

wanted connections!

- hook ups! : mal is a RAGING bisexual and is not at all afraid to make her appreciation for someone’s physical appearance known. just don’t expect to stay the night. once the deed is done you’ve got about thirty seconds to vacate mal’s suite.

- softies! : make. her. soft. give me someone who makes her break her no sleep over rule, pls and thank. she’s a stubborn, pain in the ass, and sassy af but someone who can make her melt? and act like a teenager in love again? all gooey and gross? yuh. pls.

- good influence! : someone she doesn’t have to drink and party with to have a good time! remind her that she misses things when she’s not sober - that the world is still beautiful and inspiring even when she’s not in a drug induced haze.

- chill baes! : drugs tw people mal just ~ v I b E s ~ with! probs smokin’ a decent amount of weed together.

- protest pals! : people who are also involved in the community and social justice movements. they happily bail each other out of jail (or, more likely, sit in the back of a squad car together) and attend protests together. bc the buddy system. overthrow the government safely ty.

- rivals! : mal’s got a big mouth and some seriously controversial opinions. she’s not afraid to call people out for being ‘wrong’ and calling them...creative names. she’s bound to have a giant list of people who aren’t her biggest fans.

- bad girl’s club : need i say more? give. me. the girl gang. constantly partying and constantly getting into some kind of mischief and leaving a trail of broken hearts as they go.

if you made it this far, you deserve SEVERAL high fives and literally all my love. ily all v much and uh, yuh. let’s plot pals. :)

#amalia | ooc #malnatiooc #malnatiintro #insert dj khalid *anotha one* gif here pls

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onisiondrama · 5 years

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PART 7 - video #13

(Click here for mirrors)

what’s up

(Sorry for the offensive language in this one. He’s pretty pissed.) - He wants to discuss the legal case. He filed an anti harassment protection order against two individuals. One of them has been harassing him for the last 8-10 years. This person deleted earlier videos, but Greg’s life is this guys’s obsession. It’s crazy how obsessed he is. Greg is no doubt on this guy’s mind 24/7. It’s creepy and weird. Lately he’s been documenting ever aspect of every interaction he has in Greg’s world. The dude just make $20,000 on attorney’s fees on a case Greg had dismissed. You guys payed some dude to show up to court and hear the case was dismissed. Numbskulls. If you’re a Youtuber and someone tells you to stop talking about them, why would you hire an attorney to go into court and speak for you? Dude couldn’t even speak for himself. He was just sat there smirking like a jackass while he’s losing his hair and gets fatter. Total idiot, punk ass bitch. Greg was overwhelmed be how much of a bitch he was. - Greg was standing there with his bulletproof vest and people wonder why he was wearing that. “Christina Grimmie anyone?” He knows she wasn’t shot in the bulletproof vest area, but life is a danger when you show up to a court room where a bunch of people thinks you prey on children. Where are the children by the way? Who even made this up? Because he was blackmailed into sleeping with an 18 year old, now he’s into kids? He doesn’t understand the leap in logic. - The other person the case was against was someone who used to specialize in going after people who go after children. He’s trying to make it look like Greg would want to go after a child like that. It’s pathetic and one of the dumbest thing he’s ever seen. When he dated Shiloh when she was 17 1/2. They spoke to the police and they cleared him of any inappropriate images on his computer and everything. He was 100% cleared with Shiloh. Another relationship where he’s still married to the person, so that worked out. Another relationship where someone was 19. Another who was 18 1/2. Someone we don’t know about was 26. Someone we don’t talk about was 24. The wife before was 24 when they separated. People obsess over these relationships and try to relate it to children. They don’t want to go after people who go after 12 year old, they go after people who date adults. - Says this is the funniest thing: “Well they’re still mentally a child,” There are 50 year olds who are mentally a child and there are 18 year olds that are mentally 90. That’s a fact. When he was 17 he had the maturity of a 40 year old male. He was a little dark and goth, but very capable. - At the court case Greg is sitting across from this pasty, greasier than him, looks like he never saw the sun in his life, beta male, pathetic, he’s definitely getting a double chin soon.[Greg is laughing] He’s smirking at the judge and Greg thought he was an idiot because he’s smirking in court like an ass hat. Judges likes to see people taking it seriously. - Greg went to court and asked for it to get dismissed because anti harassment protection orders are more open and close when the person isn’t a public figure. The problem is you have an ex who hates your guts and now he wants to stalk you, that’s illegal. Now he started a tumblr about you so now in court he just has to say he’s protected by the Constitution, freedom of the press and freedom of speech. Your lawyer can argue that they’re a stalker, but that’s stressful. Now you have to argue the constitution. He avoided going in there and arguing the constitution against people who are Youtubers, not journalists. Journalism used to mean you work for someone, now it means you have a blog. - [This section is sarcasm btw.] Chris is still a journalist even though he was released from his contract after someone killed themselves. He’s a journalist because he livestreams, which is what a 13 year old could do. Congratulations. - Being a youtuber isn’t a prideful thing. If you think you’re a big deal because you have a few million subscribers, you’re a joke, Youtube is a joke. Youtubers who take themselves seriously and think they have an impact on the world are jokes. They’re all pathetic because there are real hardworking people out there like soldiers, construction workers, and scholars. Youtubers are morons. - Real journalists go to Iraq or go in a storm and talk about the weather. A journalist isn’t a dude who works with a dude who is perused in court for sexual assault while dating a much younger women while going after people online who date younger women and act like they’re predators. That’s “retard paradox.” - A journalist from Newsweek approached him in the courthouse and it was one of the most bleh experiences he had in his life. “Pathetic” is too much of a dignified word for this person. He walked up to Greg and said, “yo Onision. I really want to hear your side of the story. I’m not anti-o. I really just care about the truth, you know?” Greg ignored him and kept looking at his phone. The guy said, “Ok I get it, I get it. You don’t trust me but you gotta know you can trust me.” Greg wanted him to fuck off. He doesn’t trust a single reporter on this earth because they are looking for headlines, just like Youtubers. Especially Newsweek. The articles they write about him are totally baseless. They don’t care. He sees no credentials. He sees someone who flunked out of high school or didn’t go to any journalism school working for Newsweek. This guy followed Greg into the bathroom even though he knew Greg didn’t want to talk to him. “Just say one word Greg.” His name is JAMES. [He lists his old names.] They’re too stupid to get his name right. “I’m Greg James bitch!” [I have no idea what he’s quoting but he’s been saying that for a while now.] - He gets in the court room and there are emo girls with dyed hair everywhere. Fucking morons. “When did this court room become a clown show?” He mimics them giggling and saying “that’s onision.” He says he should have just brought mace. [He pretends to spray mace onto the people in the court room and laughs.] These chicks are taking pictures and saying look at his snow boots. He says he doesn’t have dress shoes so he wore snow boots. Those are his ass kicking boots. One stomp and you’re done. He came prepared for war. - Hansen’s lawyer comes up and says he was never served so they want it dismissed even though he’s well aware he’s supposed to be here cuz he sent me. Legally, Greg guesses, you have to get served in order to show up, but Chris publicly acknowledged he was supposed to be there. He could fly across the country to have the cops called on him but he can’t fly across the country to show up in court. Pussy, moron, douche bag. Where is the money going? What is he spending it on? His debts? You guys don't realize you're getting played because you paid someone $20,000 for $2,500 in fees, which he says probably wasn’t even that much because the case was open and close. The attorney wasn’t even there for an hour. You have pussy boy who has an attorney speaking for him and Greg speaks for himself. He tells the judge he got legal advise and is taking a different legal avenue. He is literally doing it right now. - Some dumb ass hoes, dumb ass bitches follow him into the elevator. This girl was sitting next to her sugar daddy who had a beard and was a blimp. She’s holding up her camera and she was a midget and she asks him if he’s having a good day. He’s standing there thinking, “all these stupid ass whooohhmmms”. [seems like he was going to say whores but stopped himself] He’s silent because if he says anything it would wind up being te-he-he bullshit. He had sunglasses on so he didn’t have to look at the dumb bitch in the eyes. - 2nd floor happens, elevator opens. No one got out. Bitches are going to follow him all the way to the first floor. They’re there because they want to see the circus, they’re the clowns in the circus. He was surrounded by fucking idiots. They show up because they want him to do what? Like when Hansen showed up at his house he was surprised Greg’s obviously fake videos weren’t real because he’s a boomer. He asks if people could start saying “ok boomer” because this is an actual boomer. He does math and says not exactly, but pretty much. - Court was stupid. He didn’t have a good time. He treated himself to taco bell and treated people to dinner because he saved money by not hiring an attorney. He knows the other guys spent a shit load of money. It’s amazing they could have done it for free. They hired an attorney so they could continue to harass someone. How low life is that? If someone took him to court for harassment he would just stop talking about them. He could move on. - When you file an anti-harassment protection order you can’t talk about that person either so it’s like a mutual contract to F off. He says that last thing was just speculation. He doesn’t know what the actual rules are. - He thinks it’s creepy and says a lot about a person when they fight an anti-harassment protection order. Why is it so hard to leave people alone? They’re harassers, it fits the definition. Not everyone is sane or reasonable. Just gotta keep going at it. People will keep cashing in on Greg. Greg owns all the channels. They get the revenue, but Greg gets the face time because they always think about him. Their whole job is him. “Fuck you.” He doesn’t know how you could waste the most precious thing you were given, life, on someone you hate. - He tells the emo girls that showed up to court to get a fucking haircut and to dye their hair a normal color.

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agentsix606 · 4 years

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Because no one is talking about how shitty Alberta, Canada is right now, here we go.

Warning, coarse language and if you’re part of the oil industry, this may be a wake up call for you. Or you might fight me on this, we’ll see. I’m also not wishing the oil industry to be gone, it’s just that I have problems with it. This is not me attacking every single person in the oil industry, just the assholes complaining about how they only made 11 mil. and say that the health care system needs to pay for it.

Trudeau is so far up Ontario and Quebec’s ass, us Albertains are struggling. (I can’t speak for Saskatchewan, Manitoba or BC so if anyone wants to add anything about that go ahead) Our prime minister doesn’t give a shit, our provincial gouvernment wants to watch the health care and education system burn. I mean if COVID hadn’t happened, my parents who have over 30 years of seniority in mental health probably would have been laid off. My mother-in-law is terrified of losing her job in mental health while working in the jails for the NCR (not-criminally responisible) because literally everyone is.

Oil is going so far down, and there’s nothing that we can do because UCP fucking sucks. It’s always the ones that promise riches in oil that fuck it up.

Also, Jason Kenny is a homophobic piece of shit.

First up, the UCP projects 6,400 - 7,400 Union jobs lost by 2023. MEDICAL JOBS LOST. “ Ever wonder why there are so many casual and part-time RNs? It’s because overtime allows them to make full-time pay working part-time hours.” - Danielle Smith, Calgary Herald. First off, BULLSHIT. There aren’t enough openings for OT in the healthcare system to even TRY to bring in full-time pay. Also, you bid on a shift, you don’t just say “I’m part-time, I’ll take OT.” and get it. There’s a series of things that happen before you get OT, unless no one else bids for it (good luck for that btw.) Also, by diminishing pays and OT pays, you are punishing nurses who work full-time who sometimes need the extra OT. Not to mention, it’s Overtime, you get paid 1 1/2x your wage because it’s overtime. Not because they’re special. This could be compared to literally any other career and still be the same principle. Also, many part-time/casual nurses? Bitch, what kind of world are you living in?

Instead of attacking nurses for making over $100,000 a year, why don’t you complain about the oil industry people who make $12.57 million dollars a year? Million. That’s how much most RN’s would make in 127 years if they never paid for a single thing, even with OT. Healthcare workers in 2018 (generally) got paid an hourly wage of $31.33 to a $44.98 oil worker. Again, not attacking every single person in the oil industry, just the assholes complaining about how they only made 11 mil. and say that the health care system needs to pay for it.

I have loads against the oil industry, not just environmentally, but most of the people where I live (not every single person in the industry) are honestly whiny pieces of shit. My mother had to take a job (a job in mental health nursing) where she got paid LESS than a Toys-R-Us employee in the 90’s. SHE HAD A DEGREE IN NURSING AND WAS MAKING LESS THEN SOMEONE IN A TOYS-R-US. While oil field workers are able to afford three story houses in fucking the Hamptons and shit. And complain. It’s absolute bullshit.

I get that oil goes up and down and that it sucks when it does. But get another job then. Get an actual post-secondary education that you can use for a different career path because guys. OIL IS A FINITE RESOURCE. There are so many diversifying career paths that you could be doing. Hell take up some sort of trades career and you’d be better off. You’d probably have to get rid of your house in Arizona and huge house in the Hamptons and downsize. Maybe give up the annual trip to Hawaii and change it to every two years, But guess what we’ve had to do for the entirety of our lives? THE SAME THING.

You have to give somethings up in order for not just others to be able to actually live their lives, but it also helps you. No more travelling to a different province and not being able to see your family for weeks at a time. No more ups and downs with the finite resource. Less gas used, you’d probably start to open up your mind and start using it without bringing up 40 conspiracy theories about how the 5G towers are going to give people cancer and start doing something potentially life-changing (in a good way). I’m not saying abandon the oil industry, but stop relying on it. STOP RELYING ON THE OIL INDUSTRY. Thank you, and spread the word.

Resources: General Wages, Article, Job losses in 2023. I interviewed other nurses in Health Care as well. The rest is personal experience. Believe me, I have lots.

#fuck the UCP #Fuck Trudeau #canada #Canada news #alberta #AHS

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cindylouwho-2 · 4 years

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RECENT NEWS, RESOURCES & STUDIES, August 19, 2020

Welcome to my latest summary of recent ecommerce news, resources & studies including search, analytics, content marketing, social media & Etsy! This covers articles, podcasts, videos and infographics I came across since the late July report, although some may be older than that.

Please note I am taking the next week off, starting tomorrow (Aug. 19), so I might be a little slow in replying to any comments.

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES

USPS has become the focus of investigations due to reported mail slowdowns. Some small businesses who rely on USPS to deliver are suffering. “The longer the policy has been in effect, the worse the backlog gets.” As of today (August 18), the postmaster says they will rollback the changes until after the election in November. This is a rapidly-moving story in part due to the push for voting by mail, and should concern anyone who ships to US customers using regular mail (as opposed to couriers). Meanwhile, they plan to temporarily raise commercial rates during the holiday shopping season, but retail rates will not change.

Ecommerce sales are still up year over year. "Before Covid-19 hit the US in March, e-commerce made up roughly 12% of retail sales in the country. That figure grew as states issued shelter-in-place orders that shut stores and kept shoppers at home, creating tailwinds for a company like Amazon. But even as states have begun to reopen, e-commerce has remained elevated, according to Bank of America data."..."The Economist used Google search traffic for hints of how lifestyles are changing and found users are still searching terms related to cooking, crafts, and exercise above pre-pandemic rates. There has been a noticeable spike in interest around such products as gardening supplies, baking flour, and Crocs." The UK is still seeing a good increase despite the ease in reduction in lockdown restrictions. The growth is slowing a bit in the US, though.

Half of US small businesses fail in the first year (and other stats on small business).

It’s been second quarter report season, covering company performance from April to June 2020. Here are results for major companies involved in ecommerce in some way (comparisons are year-over-year):

Amazon US: sales up 40%

eBay: sales up 26%

Etsy: sales up $146% [click the link to read my summary]

Facebook: revenue up 11%

Google: revenue down 2%

PayPal: revenue up 22%

Pinterest: revenue up 4%; active users up 39%

Shopify: revenue up 97%

Walmart [2nd quarter ran May to July]: ecommerce sales up 97%, same-store sales up 9.3%

ETSY NEWS

Admin are now posting a monthly update thread, in case you fear you have missed anything. This is how they chose to announce that non-seller accounts can no longer post in the forum. Since those account owners can still read the forum, that doesn’t mean you can call out your customers now.

Sadly, there wasn’t much media coverage of Etsy’s nearly-annual billing screw up, but this one did get some attention.

Etsy continues to get good media coverage for masks, including masks for your dolls. They also apparently got a decent slice of Google ranking for various pandemic-related searches in May [scroll down to the “Protection and Prevention” section].

However, Etsy is getting some bad press (along with Amazon), for allowing QAnon merchandise, because “the FBI has warned of the movement's potential to incite domestic terrorism.” Etsy replied to a request for comment saying that “that product listings associated with certain movements are allowed as long as they don't violate the company's seller or prohibited items policies, which ban items that promote hate or that could incite violence. The company said it is continually reviewing items on the site and could remove items in the future if they're found to violate Etsy's policies.”

More search trends on Etsy, this time kids’ items. I love how they think tie-dye was a ‘90s thing and not a ‘60-70s thing LOL. “a 318% increase in searches for kids tie-dye items...71% increase in searches for dinosaur wall art or decor*, and a 37% increase in searches for school of fish items….we’ve seen kid-friendly crafts spike in popularity, with searches for DIY kits for kids up 336%.”

Also, the holiday trends guide is out. “With the holidays approaching, and most shopping happening online, more shoppers will be looking for your help to make the season feel special.” The report is lengthy, covering Halloween to New Year’s, and most listing categories, while pointing out the possible pandemic changes to the usual trends. There is also an accompanying podcast with transcript.

Speaking of the holiday season, here are Etsy’s tips for shops. Note that it is a bit late, as businesses need to have their holiday items posted no later than July if they want to be eligible for most fall media coverage. Almost every point refers to an Etsy tool or feature, some of them costing you money, so use this as a very broad guideline & be careful to read between the lines.

They are still rolling out Etsy Payments to more countries: Morocco & Israel are the most recent. Note that Etsy Payments is not yet compulsory in these new countries.

Etsy Ads once again has graphs. Do you find them useful? (I haven’t run ads at all this year, so I can’t check.)

Sendle is the latest shipping company to have a label integration with Etsy shops.

Etsy asked US sellers to lobby their reps for more support for small business and other initiatives in the pandemic aid package.

SEO: GOOGLE & OTHER SEARCH ENGINES

Google has stated that content on tabs is indexed and contributes to ranking as if it were on the page instead, but yet another test demonstrates that tabs may limit you.

Due to the pandemic, Google has delayed finalizing mobile-first indexing until March 2021. (They originally announced it would be finished this September.) That means you have more time to update your website’s mobile version, ideally with responsive design.

Site speed does matter to SEO, and Google is now asking some searchers how fast certain sites loaded for them.

User comments on your products, blog posts and website can help you improve your SEO. The article suggests ways of getting that feedback, and ways to use it. [I’ve even had buyers give me new keywords to describe my items, in their messages and reviews.]

Getting links back to your site is important to SEO, but don’t annoy people while doing it. [sort of humour & sort of a rant, but does give some useful background on why backlinks matter.] Internal links also matter.

There are some special tricks for food/recipe SEO, including structured data and even a WordPress plugin.

Another WordPress plugin: submit any new or updated pages to Bing to be automatically re/indexed.

Do your keyword research before setting up your website’s sections and sub-sections, as they should serve the buyer experience, not your perception of it. Same with choosing which pages link to each other.

SEOs are still trying to work out what happened with recent Google algorithm changes. Search Engine Journal claims that the May update was at least in part about demoting sites that had out-of-date or inaccurate information, so they suggest getting rid of the bad content on your site, or at least updating it. “Content pruning” has some advocates, but I wouldn’t worry about investing tons of time in this unless you have tons of time to spend. Just get rid of the blog posts that were wildly wrong, and the out-of-date filler. If you have a lot of sold out products, redirect those to relevant active pages.

Meanwhile, a “glitch” on August 10 led people to think there was a massive Google algorithm update happening, but it all got fixed in less than a day.

If you are behind on Google search news, here is a 7 minute video [with time stamped subtopics & resources links listed below], direct from Google.

(CONTENT) MARKETING & SOCIAL MEDIA (includes blogging & emails)

It’s tough to get started in social media if you don’t know the terminology, so here’s a list of the basic definitions you can consult if you get lost when reading.

Don’t know how to blog? There are formulas you can use; here are eight options, nicely laid out, with downloadable templates. Don’t forget to figure out what your audience wants to read. And make sure you avoid these common blogging mistakes.

If you have an email list but do not know how to take advantage of all the bells & whistles the companies (MailChimp, Constant Contact etc.) offer you, here are 4 ways to segment your lists. You can then send different offers or newsletters to different segments.

You can optimize your social posts for people with visual impairments; excellent tips here.

By the time you read this, the TikTok mess will likely have changed again, but here is an article on Trump’s order to prohibit US companies from doing business with TikTok owner ByteDance if the platform is not sold by September 15.

Instagram has released its TikTok challenger, Reels, in more countries.

Instagram is now offering a fundraising option, although it is a slow launch with some beta testing in the US, UK & Ireland to start.

Here are step-by-step instructions on setting up your “Shop on Instagram.”

Pinterest says that searches around self-care & wellness have spiked during the pandemic lockdowns. “Pinterest has recently seen the highest searches ever around mental wellness ideas including meditation (+44%), gratitude (+60%) and positivity (+42%) that jumped from February to May….Pinterest says that searches for ‘starting a new business’ are up 35% on average, as are searches for ‘future life goals’ (2x), ‘life bucket list’ (+65%), ‘family goals future’ (+30%) and ‘future house goals’ (+78%).” There were also some searches clearly about spending more time at home: “Productive morning routine (up 6x), Exercise routine at home (up 12x), Self care night routine (up 7x)”

LinkedIn has a new algorithm; here’s how to make it work for you. [Many of these tips also apply to social media in general.]

Spotify is now doing “video podcasts”. Apparently a lot of their podcasters already did a video version of the Spotify podcasts, but had to publish it elsewhere up until now.

Twitter now admits it is considering offering subscriptions to shore up its revenue numbers. “Shares of Twitter rose 4% in early trading Thursday following the earnings results....Twitter's growth plans are under close scrutiny as many advertisers pull back due to the pandemic. On Thursday, Twitter reported second-quarter ad revenues of $562 million, a 23% decrease compared to the same quarter a year ago. The company has also been hit by advertisers participating in an ad boycott of social media, linked to the nationwide racial justice protests.” Also, the recent hack is not helping them.

That said, it is still possible to market using Twitter, and here are some of the basics.

YouTube is no longer sending email updates when a channel you follow posts new content.

ONLINE ADVERTISING (SEARCH ENGINES, SOCIAL MEDIA, & OTHERS)

Ad spend has increased again as lockdowns end, in some cases beating last year by a decent margin.

The Buy on Google program is ending its commission fees. Participants will also be able to integrate their PayPal and/or Shopify payment options. As often is the case, they are starting with the US first, but plan on rolling it out to more countries in the future. There are more details here, and a review here (with some of the drawbacks).

Google Product Ads are now showing the item’s “material” on the listing card (before you click). If you are doing your own feed for your website, you may have the ability to add the attributes needed for the details to show up.

If you find Google Ads too expensive, consider buying search ads on Bing.

eBay is experimenting with showing ads mixed in with unpaid listings; placement would depend on the same algorithm.

Here’s a new guide to Facebook Ads [videos & text]

STATS, DATA, OTHER TRACKING

Bing has launched a new version of Webmaster Tools.

There are ways to reduce the amount of traffic that Google Analytics designates as “direct traffic”; here are 15 of them.

Currently in closed beta testing, the Google Search Console now has an “Insights” function, just like Google Analytics. I’ve found the GA one useful for telling me things I don’t always look at, so crossing my fingers that they release this to everyone soon.

ECOMMERCE NEWS, IDEAS, TRENDS

Shopify helped many businesses stay open during pandemic lockdowns, giving it the boost to start competing with the likes of Amazon in ecommerce. “Shopify merchants that had previously or entirely relied on brick-and-mortar sales would later report they were able revive nearly 95% of that revenue online.”

eBay started rolling out its Managed Payments system to more sellers worldwide on July 20th. Things seem to be going slowly, with some confusion.

But eBay is also having a 25th anniversary party for sellers on September 25th; don’t forget to register.

Walmart is still delaying its new subscription model to challenge Amazon Prime, Walmart+.

Amazon in the UK has launched a “Face mask store” part of the website. I haven’t seen this on other versions of Amazon. They’ve also increased some fees for some UK sellers, based on the new UK digital tax. And they are launching a site & presence in Sweden.

The Competition Bureau of Canada has launched an investigation of Amazon’s treatment of third-party sellers. “The bureau is asking any person or business that has conducted sales via Amazon.ca to contact them if they have any insights into the issues it is investigating.“

Amazon Prime Day has been postponed to later dates this year, starting with India on August 6-7. The remaining countries will apparently be announced soon.

If you use WooCommerce, here are a bunch of free plugins, with brief descriptions.

BUSINESS & CONSUMER STUDIES, STATS & REPORTS; SOCIOLOGY & PSYCHOLOGY, CUSTOMER SERVICE

Buyers do not all make purchase decisions the same way; Google uses its massive collection of data and some new studies to provide some examples. “Worldwide, search interest for “best” has far outpaced search interest for “cheap.”

It’s cheaper to keep repeat buyers than it is to find new ones; here are 16 ways to do that. One of my favourites is ““proactively providing information on how to avoid problems or get more out of your product” creates a 32% average lift to repurchase or recommend.”

It seems that researchers can never produce enough marketing guides on Gen Z and millennials.

MISCELLANEOUS (including humour)

I see a lot of new sellers, and some older sellers, confused about the idea of a business plan. HubSpot not only explains them, but also provides a downloadable template.

If you are thinking of changing careers, or just want to add skills to better run your current business, Google has many different courses, some of which they offer for free.

There are ways you can increase your productivity without (usually) working more hours. “A study published by John Pencavel of Standford University found that how much employees get done takes a sharp drop after 50 hours of work in a week, and even more drastically after 55 hours. The study found that employees working 70 hours per week actually produce nothing more in those extra 15 hours...taking a power nap in the middle of the day can help you process new information and even learn new skills.”

#SEO #seo tips #etsy #contentmarketing #ecommerce #smallbiz #ecommercetips #social media

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knybits · 5 years

Text

A Murder of One

Chapter:

Summary:

A literal train wreck. Miyuki confesses, and Akiko’s eyes are blessed again.

Previous Chapter | Origin | Next Chapter

Okay.

So pause scene.

Imagine this.

A buff old man (we’ll say he’s old because he has white hair) suddenly snatches up you and your friends for an unexplainable reason.

But your other friends that didn’t get snatched are being the absolute angels that they are and run down the old wack job to try and avenge you.

And then your fiance since birth (different story) walks into the scene, and he doesn’t know what the fuck is going on.

Okay.

Resume scene.

“He’s kidnapping us!!” Akiko yells out, her face red with either anger or embarrassment she can’t tell.

Tanjirou acts instantly, launching himself at Uzui with full intent on headbutting the hell out of him. But Uzui is too fast, and Akiko tries her best to kick the hems of her dress down to make sure she isn’t flashing anything. She kicks her feet wildly when she finds that the three of them are on the roof of the estate.

“UZUI TENGEN YOU BETTER COVER MY ASS RIGHT NOW!!”

“I am the ‘former shinobi’ Uzui Tengen-sama-”

“DON’T IGNORE ME! AND DON’T ADD -SAMA TO YOUR NAME YOU CREEP!!”

“Dear lord SHUT UP! Here, you brat, jeez!” Uzui brushes her skirt over, pauses, then gives Akiko’s butt a slap before laughing, claiming it to be rather flamboyant.

Akiko nearly goes mental at the harassment, and Tanjirou looks like he’s about to shoot himself up to the roof and give Uzui more than just a headbutt.

“You’re a pervert!” Kiyo yells from the ground.

“Who do you think you’re mouthing off here!! I have superiority! I’m a pillar you jackasses!”

“I don’t accept you as a pillar! Hmph!!”

“DON’T YOU ‘HMPPH’ MEEE!! DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T ACCEPT ME?! YOU LOWLY BRAT!! IS YOUR BRAIN COMPLETELY DEAD!? I NEED A GIRL MEMBER ON THE MISSION, SO I’M BRINGING THEM ALONG!! I DON’T NEED KOCHOU’S PERMISSION IF THEY AREN’T TSUGUKO!”

“Akiko-san can’t fight! She’s a member but she doesn’t have a uniform! She’s a doctor!”

“Don’t need her then.”

Akiko screams as she’s flung off the roof and she roughly lands in Tanjirou’s arms. Any other person would flush, but Akiko’s far too mad to even think about her cute situation.

She shoves herself out of Tanjirou’s arms, jumping up and down and yelling at Uzui to come down from the roof so that she can deck him in the face. Kanon stares in bewilderment, wondering why Akiko is so prone to abandoning ‘Do no harm.’

Even Tanjirou doesn’t know what to do, staring at his fiance with wide eyes as she unleashes another side of her that he’s never seen before. Sure, she’s had her small temper tantrums when they were kids, but this is much more justified.

“Shut up you nerd! I’m taking this one on my mission. She’s a hunter regardless.”

Akiko can see the look of panic and fear on Aoi’s face, so she takes a few deep breaths to calm herself and approach the situation differently. She has no time to yell at Uzui, and despite the fact that he’s an adult, he acts like a child.

“People have their own circumstances, Uzui. Let the girl go.”

Uzui blinks owlishly at her sudden change in behavior, her eyes slanted up at him with long lashes barely brushing her cheeks. Mouth a fine line and her hair disheveled, but it makes Akiko look all the more dangerous.

Tanjirou can smell the withheld fury from Akiko, and the fact that she’s harnessed enough control to reign her emotions back in frightens him. This anger is much more dangerous than her lashed out one, and everyone feels as if they’re seeing Akiko reach a new peak of anger.

“We’ll go in Aoi’s stead!” Tanjirou interjects, just as Zenitsu and Inosuke hop onto the gates.

They aren’t in any way injured, and she sees that Zenitsu killed three demons and Inosuke five. She can’t help but tilt her head in confusion at the new piece of information her mind is filled with, but Akiko can’t take that time to care as she watches Aoi rush into Kanao’s arms.

Akiko quietly asks Kanon to make some lunch for the girls to calm everyone’s nerves, and Kanon nods her head in understanding before hurrying off. She then sighs, walking over to her dropped umbrella before picking it up, when she sees Tanjirou out of the corner of her eyes.

“Are you okay Akiko? He dropped you rather harshly…”

Akiko looks at Uzui, who waits impatiently outside the gates, before rolling her eyes at him.

“I’ll live. It’s no big deal. I’m just afraid that the girls are mentally scarred or something along the lines… What? What’s wrong?” Tanjirou is staring at her, and Akiko can’t help but wonder why.

He wakes up from his spaced out state, blushing a bit and kicking some rocks on the ground as he looks away.

“Sorry it’s just.... You look really nice today!”

Akiko can’t help but flush, immediately opening her parasol in front of herself to hide her face. Kiyo, Sumi and Naho giggle nearby, and Akiko nearly turns around to glare at them but she’s far too busy hiding herself.

And as if some higher being grants Tanjirou with all the courage in the world, he pulls the umbrella down a bit to see her red face, smiling softly before saying, “It’d be a shame if I didn’t get to see my fiance’s face before I left.”

Now Akiko can hear Kiyo, Sumi and Naho squeal with delight as her eyes widen and she’s nearly brought to tears with embarrassment. Tanjirou starts to laugh, finding that her red face compliments her amber eyes nicely, and he cups Akiko’s face into his hands before placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

“I’ll be off!” He gives her one last smile, waving at Akiko and running out of the front gates.

Akiko’s holding her forehead, staring off into space as her brain slowly but surely processes everything that’s just happened. And once everything loads in, her heart ascends.

Akiko smiles.

---

“Himi Miyuki is on her way! Deep laceration on her lower left quadrant!”

Akiko’s eyes snap open, her back aching from accidentally passing out on the wooden engawa. She quickly tries to rub the sleep from her eyes, stumbling to her room to change out of the light green dress she still dons.

It’s only been a couple hours since Tanjirou’s departure, and she’s back to work. But what else is there to do?

So Akiko yanks on another poet’s shirt, ties her hakama around her waist, and allows for Kiyo to help her with her robe and gloves. Sumi and Naho rush to gather towels upon seeing how severe the wound is.

Shinobu stands by the entrance, waiting to welcome the house’s newest patient. Everyone is surprised to see Sanemi helping the injured girl up, and Shinobu decides to poke a little fun.

Embarrassed, Sanemi leaves Miyuki in the hands of a more than capable lady to help fix her up, and she orders the girls to help drag Miyuki’s pale body to the table.

Akiko’s eyes do a quick once over, and information she’s never picked up before flood her senses.

Miyuki has just killed four demons before one caught her by surprise. She’s lost about 1200mL of blood, and Akiko orders the girls to elevate her legs once she’s on the table. Miyuki’s blood pressure is 90/70, and her breathing is so shallow it’s worrisome. Her heart beat per minute is 60, and her skin looks ashy and waxen.

Akiko knows that Miyuki’s body temperature is naturally low, but that doesn’t mean she likes how Miyuki’s body is at a solid 90 degrees.

So the girls are instructed to place a blanket over her feet and arms too, and Akiko cuts away the cloth surrounding the large gash. Aoi ties a mask around Akiko’s face, unrolls the sleeve of scalpels lined up in the bamboo sheet, and Akiko gets to work.

Miyuki stays silent, dazed by the anesthesia, but still conscious.

Akiko works diligently as always, hands moving swiftly to stop the bleed and making sure there isn’t any debris left in the wound. It’s a simple procedure, though trickier thanks to Miyuki’s naturally cold body.

But once she’s done, Miyuki is able to form phrases and sentences, the anesthesia wearing off.

“I wonder if Sanemi has ever been in love?”

Not even a thank you…

Miyuki flinches slightly under the glare Akiko casts her way, the scalpel glinting menacingly under the bright light, but Akiko throws her a bone, asking what she means.

Their conversations dips into the topic of love in general, albeit Akiko is in no way an expert, but she entertains the idea with Miyuki. Shinobu, ever so quiet in the corner of the room, even steps in to offer her two piece on the subject.

Aoi cleans the blood on the floor while Shinobu checks the IV of blood and medicine she finished making in her corner, and Miyuki finally throws her hands up into the air.

“Well then fine! Maybe I do love Sanemi! Fuck whatever my step monster has to say!”

Shinobu laughs, “What a surprise!”

Akiko can see the lie.

At any rate, she sighs, glancing at the clock in the room to take note of the time. She blinks owlishly at it as the date comes to mind.

If she’s right, Genya should be coming in today.

Akiko peels her gloves off her hands, removing her mask as well while the girls untie the robe off her from behind before she says, “Well, congrats on the realization, but I gotta go have my monthly appointment with-”

Genya.

He’s standing by the doorway.

Sumi and Kiyo are right behind him, some newly washed rags in their hands before they step into the room again to keep cleaning the blood, and realization dawns on Akiko.

“Uh, gotta go!” Akiko shoves a startled Genya out of the room and down the hall, quickly bombarding him with questions to try and make him forget about Miyuki’s feelings for his older brother.

Genya is shoved into her office and she scrambles to find his documents. It’s an organized mess, and she knows that she should clean it up, but between 20 minute naps every hour or so and working for a whole 12 “shift” sometimes, it’s nearly impossible for her.

Akiko sits Genya down on a chair, eyes brisking over his figure as statistics fill her mind. It’s overwhelming for her, and she shuts her eyes for a few seconds to clear her head. It continues to race with the adrenaline, and she starts to count her breathing to reign it back in.

“What was that before? And are you- Are you okay?” Genya asks, blushing when she offers him a polite smile. Her usual business smile in the face of patients.

“It was nothing important. No need to worry about me, either. You have a gash on your left arm so I see you haven’t been eating too many demons. Two in the last month?” Akiko flutters her eyes to clear it again, her mouth spewing words faster than she can properly think.

Genya stares at her wide eyed, astonished.

“Y- Yeah… How do you know?”

She pays him no mind, scribbling the information down with creased brows. Genya isn’t all too used to this version of Akiko. Sure, she’s serious, but not with him. She makes no move to tease him, quickly jotting down information and asking Genya to confirm the information.

Every time, she hits the nail on the coffin. It’s like she’s unraveling his life in the past month, and Genya is almost frightened of her.

“Himejima hasn’t let up easily on you. Your biceps are 42 centimeters wide now… He still has you pushing that big rock, hm? Please tell him that misogi is not the proper way for you to rest your body,” Akiko sighs, rubbing at the bridge of her nose.

She’s done with her checkup within a few minutes, taking no time to prod at his body and instead glancing at his limbs then writing numbers down. She then quickly stands to a small cabinet on her desk, pulling out a small roll of bandages and some alcohol and cotton balls.

Akiko frowns at the little bit left in the jar, and the fact that she barely has any bandages left. It’s just enough to help patch Genya up with, but she’ll have to go out and buy some more in the local village after she’s done.

“At any rate, I’m just going to wrap up your wound and then send you on your way. Sorry I was late for the appointment this month,” she’s about to unbutton Genya’s uniform for him, but he quickly stops her with raised hand and a mad blush.

Akiko pauses, quickly apologizing for being so forward, and allows him to remove as much of his uniform as he is comfortable with so that she can clean his cut.

Genya looks everywhere but Akiko. She knows that he's an embarrassed mess around any female, so she’s quick to finish up her work and allows him to shrug his uniform back on.

“Do you want me to walk you to the entrance?” Akiko asks Genya, who shakes his head. She shrugs in compliance, apologizing for making him travel all the way to the Butterfly Estate for such a short checkup, and waves as he walk down the hall and out of the estate.

Once he turns the corner, Akiko makes her way to the kitchen to find Kanon. The pinkette is looking through the pantry with a troubled look on her face.

Akiko’s eyes are given a rest when she looks at Kanon, and it’s most likely because Kanon doesn’t kill demons for a living and lives a peaceful (or, as peaceful as it can get) life at the estate.

“Are we out of food?” Akiko asks, and Kanon jumps at the sudden presence of the ginko eyed girl.

Kanon nods her head and Akiko frowns, but the timing couldn’t be more perfect.

“Alright, let’s go shopping together.”

Of course, Shinobu feels against this idea considering the town is an hour walk away, and if they aren’t quick enough, it’ll be dark.

“Perhaps someone else should go with you?” She says, and Akiko sighs.

“I think we’ll be more than fine. If it make you feel any better, I’ll bring my tools. If Kanon trips over a rock, I’ll save her from bacteria.”

Akiko can see the irritation radiate of Shinobu, so she quickly hikes up her bag, shoves a good amount of money in, and meets Kanon at the front door.

Akiko doesn’t like the way Miruna circles above their heads.

things are gonna get so spicy after this,,, fuck guys im so excited

expect akiko to grow!! we love character development :,,) also yeah she has other emotions besides ‘bitch’ and ‘smart ass’ :))

big thank you to @kny-writings and her oc himi miyuki!!

#bittle's murder of one #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #tanjiro #kamado tanjirou #tanjirou #tanjirou kamado #kochou shinobu #himini miyuki #tamura akiko #sanemi #genya

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altviktcrr · 5 years

Text

『MAXENCE DANET-FAUVEL ❙ NONBINARY』 ⟿ looks like VIKTOR SAMUELS is here for HIS/THEIR SENIOR year as a VISUAL ARTS student. HE/THEY are 24 years old & known to be OBSERVANT, INGENIOUS, RETICENT & DEPENDENT. They’re living in NOLAND, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ JAMES. 20. EST. SHE/THEY.

hllo ,,, again ,,, this is my last child i SWEAR ,,, at least fr now ,,, hes also the most problematic one ,,, the most dramatic ,,, one of my absolute faves ,,, pleathe love him. as always if u wish to plot please like this so i can msg u !!!

TW DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS, MENTAL ILLNESS

aesthetic.

basic info.

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - jan 2nd

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′1″

hometown: rochester, new york

sexuality: pansexual uwu

stats

biography.

born to mama and papa (preacher) samuels in rochester, new york - fifteen minutes after his twin sister, tatiana samuels. years later, rosa samuels joined the gang.

as he got older he grew out of this, but instead became like ... sort of an asshole? maybe to compensate for years of childhood awkwardness. he’s the sort of person who will bite the hand that feeds him & developed into a full time nuisance by middle school, unlike tatiana who was much more subtle about her conniving manners.

always has been a fan of ‘darker’ materials. grim & creepy morbid shit. probably the biggest tim burton fan, ever since he was a kid ... not a good look for a preacher’s son, but he never really felt ‘in’ with the rest of his family to begin with. classic black sheep syndrome.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid that probably prompted one or two or five phone calls home to assure everything was fine.

just really had a knack for art at a young age, from drawing to painting to playing with clay. it’s always been his Thing and probably is the only thing he’s good at.

his only redeemable trait was like ... just his sheer talent in the arts. was in a 3D art AP course and specialized in sculptures. he could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

has been experimenting with himself since high school but college is where he really had started to crack down on himself. was out as pansexual & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college just ... not to his parents, who don’t really need to know.

( TW DEATH, GRIEF, OVERDOSE / HOSPITALIZATION BEYOND THIS POINT )

afterwards he went on a sort of bender. he’d begun to struggle with a mild drug addiction late senior year of high school / early college, but he was managing it up until this point.

tatiana’s body wasn’t found immediately, and when it was ... viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing & being hospitalized. spent six months in & out of psychiatric care after that.

came back to radcliffe to finish his senior year because ... for the reasons above, he hadn’t been able to complete it. just wants to get his credits and get out of here.

personality.

the human embodiment of a gremlin that was fed after midnight. a goblin, if you will. one of those cats with a narrow head and really big ears ... that’s them!

they can be really fucking mean? petty, aggressive, a major instigator. will literally spit in your face for little to no reason, you could just look at them the wrong way. the kind of person who will stick their gum into someone else’s hair. other than that? they’re like ... sort of okay. they’re not always mean, just a dick about 90% of the time lmao

like okay yeah they’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except they feel like it and believes it. it’s fine, they’re fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact that they’re probably getting into a fight whenever, considers themself to be a lover and not a fighter but that’a primarily because they fuck a lot. uses it as a coping mechanism, like they’re this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ and it’s ... a Lot. might have a problem with hypsersexuality but they’re not fully aware of it.

the preacher’s whore son, basically :)

vastly impulsive ... like i said, they destroy their own creations for the fun of it. spends all teir money on useless shit, will cheat on someone because they feel like it & likes the thrill, screams into the night sky frequently like a cat in heat.

will also spend months creating useless shit for no reason too. spent six of them sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of them & then took a sledgehammer to it.

will absolutely not talk about their ‘time away’ because it’s not anyone’s business, not even their own younger sister. still refuses to talk about tatiana’s death, or their mental health, or their addiction (fallen back into it but it hasn’t gotten severe ... yet :/), or anything involving their own emotions.

will just change the topic abruptly, no warning. asks about the jonas brothers instead and they fucking hate the jonas brothers.

emotionally unavailable while also crying twice a day. cries during their brawls but still wins. is stony-faced when they tell you they cheated on you with your much hotter best friend.

but also emotional as shit and it’s confusing. will cry on a whim and then flip you off if you try to console them or ask them what’s up. will bite you.

they go to therapy but they just fuck around and wastes their therapists’ time ... also is fucking their therapist, but that’s neither here nor there. so they’re not really getting the help they need.

likes to be intimidating but not ... with their body or anything because they’re a TWIG but uses their love & knowledge of horror and creepy shit to their advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before (also is a big fan of sfx makeup & has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids around with a chainsaw without the chain on halloween every year.

generally never doing good, both mental health wise & morally. would probably steal candy from a baby for funsies.

an introverted reclusive type who doesn’t like most people or going out, but does so anyway if it means a quick high & a cheap thrill.

pretty observant and likes to analyze people even though they’re often like ... partially wrong. judgmental because they like to make people feel bad, not because they’re a righteous mighty person. because they’re not. so like, a hypocrite!

wanted connections.

a roommate... but it’s an absolute nightmare to live with him.

enemies... because viktor would have a lot of them...

familiar faces... people who knew tatiana or of her / were her friends. maybe even those who dated her, and who viktor would’ve tried to intimidate / scare at any given chance :/

pitiful glances... people who take pity on viktor and he hates it sooo much.

hooligan gremlin kids... just a friend group of grown ass adults who do drugs and fuck shit up around town like they’re edgy teenagers.

high school girlfriend... probably the one he lost his virginity to inside his family church :/

childhood acquaintances... people who knew him from his youth.

exes... good & bad terms, but mostly bad terms because viktor is an actual demon. probably cheated on them.

soft... i don’t know if he’s soft towards anyone and/or is capable of it but we can try. we can try.

unrequited... either viktor just doesn’t like them or he’s holding back because he’s :/ got issues with relationships & is self-sabotaging as one does

enemies with Tension... of the ... spicy kind if you know what i mean. wink.

friends... old friends, new friends, bad friends, good friends, close friends, frenemies, etc. i don’t know how many he had but if your muse likes to cause a ruckus and fuck shit up then viktor’s your man.

hook-ups... current or old. friends with benefits, one night stands, anything and everything because he fucks around a lot.

ride or die... friendship but make it extreme.

bad influence... he’s just toxic to be around and brings out the worst in people :/

bad egg... he’s gotten into a few fights :/ maybe you witnessed it. maybe you were in it.

literally anything i wld love all sorts of plots.

#radintro #death tw #grief tw #overdose tw #addiction tw #hospitalization tw #mental illness tw #hypersexuality tw #religion mention tw

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milatherese · 4 years

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Update No. 5 (*cue Mambo No. 5*) – 90 Days, School, Discernment (just a lil bit)

Note #1: This update is long. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Note #2: If you don’t know Mambo No. 5, you need to listen to it (even though the lyrics may be morally wrong, it is quite catchy).

“How was the 90 day journey of a tiny bit of asceticism?” you ask. (nobody cares but I’m pretending you do haha)

That’s a question I still ask myself several days later. 90 days is a lot to process. Therefore, I have included my short answer to this question here: – It was a bit hard in the beginning but got easier as the days went by – I especially enjoyed the no social media / limited communication – I hated cold showers, actually gave it up by the end of the first month or so because it did more harm than good (imo)

The beginning was a little rough, but about as good as sacrifice gets. (you can read my thoughts on that here, here, and here) About a month in, I couldn’t cope, at least physically. I ended up just doing what I felt I was strong enough to do.

January was a little rough. Ever since school started, I had headaches every day (including non-school days). (If you’re wondering why I never shared this with you and why I hid my pain, it was because I didn’t want you to worry.)

At first the headaches were tolerable. I could get through a 12-hour day with minimal pain. They got increasingly worse. I began taking Tylenol according to the recommended dosage (1-2 tablets every 4-6 hours). I didn’t take Tylenol every other day (I try to avoid medicine, if possible) but I eventually “graduated” to taking the extra strength Tylenol, also according to the recommended dosage. Eventually, the headaches began to impact my studying. I had limited time to study (I had to time my studying during the lesser painful waves of my headaches). I was so worried for one class that I spent all my time studying for that one class during lecture of another difficult class (I figured I could bring up my grade in the second class later). Despite my high of level of unpreparedness, I was looking forward to taking the exams for both classes. I thought my headaches were the result of stressing over those two classes. Unfortunately, taking the exams for those classes didn’t end the headaches. In fact, they may have increased the pain.

My headaches soon became unbearable. I couldn’t hide the pain any longer. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t eat out of fear that I would only make the pain worse. I was in tears from the pain. Massaging my head and using an ice pack didn’t reduce the pain. I wanted to rip my head off to get rid of the pain once and for all.

At this time, I decided it was time to begin thinking about seeing the doctor about this. (Yes, I should have already gone to the doctor but my pain isn’t really a concern to me.) I decided that I would go to the doctor if the headaches persist for another week.

The pain was at its absolute worst one Saturday. I had to call in sick for work (we had an event – which I was really looking forward to, btw). I spent the day crying from the pain (at this point, my body wasn’t really responding to Tylenol). Finally, the physical pain began to affect my mental health. I was trying to figure out the root cause of the pain. I began questioning all my decisions – transferring high schools, transferring universities, not applying to a certain community, leaving relationships, etc. I was wondering if this was some sort of a punishment for making the “wrong” decision (which I later learned is no such thing, more on this another day). I felt so lost and alone. I was wondering if this was a taste of what Mother St. Teresa described as a “long dark night.” (I referenced this before in my last update but I just can’t get her long dark night out of my head.) I eventually cried myself to sleep and slept the rest of the day until 2am the next day.

When I woke, I noticed the pain had disappeared and, with it, the emotional rollercoaster I was going through earlier. I was able to get some rest from the physical and emotional pain and my mind was finally functioning as it normally would – quiet and able to think logically. It was clear that my pain was not for torment but for me to focus on something more important than the pain itself. I decided to pray the Rosary for it had been several weeks since I had been able to pray the Rosary without distractions (I would either fall asleep or be distracted by the headache or my studies). I prayed God would help me discern what He wanted me to tend to. I felt that I should prayerfully consider my career path now that I was away from outside influences.

I began reflecting on my semester thus far. There was one day that my mom visited campus and overheard some girls complimenting and encouraging each other. She told me, “I want you to be in whatever major they’re in. They seem happy. You don’t.” At the time, I was too stubborn to see that my happiness was just a mask I put on to “be strong.” I remembered writing pre-labs and post-labs but barely understanding the material, only understanding the grammar necessary to produce acceptable scholarly work. I recalled being so stressed that I was rude to the whole world (except for work) to the point that my mom exclaimed, “Who are you? You’re not human anymore!” She was right – I wasn’t myself. That woke me up. I thought, “What good is my major if it only brings out the worst in me?” In prayer, felt called to pursue another career instead of MD/DO. I still don’t know what career exactly, but I’m trusting that my time studying and preparing for MD/DO will help me in my calling.

That Sunday, I informed my parents and one trusted relative of my decision to change majors and they were overjoyed. (My uncle seemed to have already known in the beginning that I would leave the MD/DO path, but wanted me to come to that decision myself.)

So, I changed majors back to Allied Health, B.S.

I met with my academic advisor (not the one who screwed me over, for any of those who know the story) and we came up with a school plan. Estimated graduation date was Fall 2021.

I dealt with this change as best I could and things were on the up and up…until it wasn’t.

Early February, I learned that a close priest friend had passed away, just 3 days shy of his birthday. I had been looking forward to his birthday (not that I would be with celebrating with him, just happy he would be celebrating another year) so hearing the news was devastating. He was like an uncle to me. To quote what I said at a memorial, he was “a great friend, a big brother, a father figure, a very holy man, a man for others.” (There’s so much I can say on him but I’ll leave that for another post) The first day, I seemed okay. Minimal feelings of sadness. It hadn’t hit me yet. It hit me the very next day. And it hit hard and long. I was crying everywhere I went whenever I was away from family and friends. Some days were harder than others (my supervisor sent me home early to give me time to grieve). I was going through so many emotions. I was frustrated that I was taking so long to grieve (I later learned that grief has no time limit) and annoyed that I did not feel comfortable talking to my family or friends about it. I had faced loss before (when Bro. Morgan passed away), but never anything as devastating as this. I did not know how to cope with grief. I struggled to stay focused during class (actually broke down in tears at least during one class each day) and to finish my work (skipped out on a staff meeting due to waterworks). I cancelled a couple meetings and called in sick to group therapy twice. I distanced myself from the world and those who love[d] me. Unfortunately, all this affected my studies once again. Despite my lighter load, I could not concentrate. I did not think of sharing all this with my professors as I felt like they wouldn’t understand (or maybe I was just being stubborn again?)

It came time for RECongress and I held it together (somewhat…more on that on another post). It was that Friday that I was able to study without getting distracted by grief. I had an exam the following Monday. But one day of studying 3+ weeks of material was not enough to pass the exam. So there went that.

February went by with each day bleeding into the next. Each day was a blur until one blessed night.

My brother had arrived home late from school one day and as he was pulling into our driveway (why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways) a beautiful dog approached him. I won’t go into details but the dog is now ours and has been the biggest blessing this semester, especially in helping our family cope with grief. We believe (as do others) that Father Suarez sent her to us.

Come March and April, things were finally on the up and up again. I was studying every day and keeping up with work. But then quarantine hit and things went downhill yet again. I did become more active on this blog since March 16th but inside I was deteriorating. However, it wasn’t as detrimental as January and February. Let’s just say that I learned the house is not conducive to studying, I may need a new prescription for glasses, and we need to find better internet (or move to a place with better cell signal). I failed a final due to failed internet connection (thanks be to God I got another shot at it). I took my two other finals in the car in the parking lot in front of Starbucks.

Quarantine has been the best and the worst for me. I realized that spiritually, I was thirsty. Thirsty for God. I live-streamed Mass and adoration daily and at odd hours, even doing homework and studying “with God.” The more things I had to do, the more I felt the need to “hang” with God (which, in retrospect, may have been a bad decision because I ended up procrastinating and losing a lot of sleep). I learned to value receiving the sacraments in-person now. I’m more aware of when I sin or am near sin. It has also reignited the flame of faith. I’ve been doing a lot more spiritual reading, especially now that APU semester is over (still have one class at a JC).

Despite this, discernment got a bit murky. I began questioning my vocation and doing a lot more “reality checks” (and a lot more second-guessing). Frankly, I don’t think I would survive living in a community of all women since all my close friends are men. (Or is that an excuse I am making for myself?) I don’t think I would make a great mother either so perhaps I’m meant to be single? (Or am I just a harsh critic of myself and I would actually be a great mother?) I had not really spoken to my spiritual director in months (transportation and schedule issues, both on my part).

A priest I met at RECongress learned I was discerning religious life (if you didn’t know this, I hope this isn’t a surprise) and asked me to email him as soon as possible in case I need guidance. I didn’t email him until April 1st so that may have contributed to my overthinking. He replied a couple weeks later (and I replied a couple days after that and am still awaiting a response). I asked God for “another sign, for some clarity” and He gave me another. However, everything still looks murky to me. I feel both consolation and desolation at the same time. I might be facing another identity crisis like last semester. Aye.

Ok this is way longer than I had planned so I’m just gonna stop right here.

If you read this far, thank you for reading. If you relate to anything I shared, I hope you know that you’re not alone and that if you ever need anything (even if it’s just a listening ear), I’ll do my best to help. Just ask. (And if you need something but I haven’t replied in a long time, just reach out again. I forget to reply to messages quite often.)

#milamusings

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writingonjorvik · 5 years

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If I Could Ask the Devs 10 Questions: A WOJ Interview

I think if you’ve known me for a while, you probably know I would jump at the idea of getting to interview the SSO devs, particularly because they tend to have internalized or cherry picked interviews that only focus on what they want to tell us, and not on the questions the players tend to have about the game. So if I could have an interview with the devs, these are the 10 questions I would ask.

Sidenote: I have 10 core topic questions with some brief follow-up questions for clarity. If you counted, yes, there would be more than ten, but there are ten core areas.

What kind of updates can we expect for this year; in terms of new areas, horses, features, etc.?

When can we expect the return of bigger area expansions with full side quests prepared for them and secrets like in the Harvest Counties and Valley of the Hidden Dinosaur launches?

Speaking of updates, about 80% of SSO community wants to see the older Gen 1 & Gen 1.5 models updated across the board like with the update to Gen 1.5. Considering that this is a super majority, and these horses are paid for content, what does SSO intend to do to meet this request from its player base?

Again, since this content is already been paid for, would an “upgrade” feature for purchased old models require additional payment, making player pay to make already purchased content playable again?

If opposed to updating earlier gen models, why does SSO ignore something a super majority of their players want that seems it would also benefit the devs work load?

How does SSO plan to counter price bloat, like what’s happened on the upgraded pets?

Expected counterpoint: SSO has said that the walking pets are more expensive because of “all the hard work that went into them.” This is both a sunken cost and false equivalence fallacy. It’s the developers’ job to continue to make SSO better, and make better content for the game. That should not result in bloated prices for players, but rather more product that they can spend their money on. Saying that “all that hard work” just went into making expensive content diminishes the rest of the work made on the game and it trivializes the job the devs are supposed to be doing. It’s your job to make content for the game. We should not have to pay extra for something we already paid for, and certainly not at a bloat of 4-5x the initial cost for a few bonus animations.

On the note of purchased content, over 70% of SSO’s player base thinks that the game is overpriced, but 90%, regardless of their opinions on fairness, say they would buy more often if the prices were lowered. Is there any intention to lower the prices around SSO to make it more accessible?

Is there any intention is making supplementary content, like more unique items in the merch store that aren’t simply designs with your logo on them?

Would SSO be able to release the comic in English any time soon?

Are there any plans to rerelease the Starshine Legacy games on Steam or the teams merch store?

SSO prides itself for being a narrative oriented story. Are there any plans to establish an official writing team on SSO?

What about a canon wiki about the series?

One of the things the devs have stated about the genderlock on SSO is that it’s to create a space for women in gaming. Does SSO donate to any charities that support girls to play video games like Child’s Play, Code Liberation, or Games For Change, or charities that help women in general like National Women’s Law Center, Dress For Success Worldwide, Girls Not Brides, or Futures Without Violence?

What actions outside of having female leads and job equality is SSO pursuing to promote gender equality?

Can we expect the ability to get magic powers that we can use outside of cutscenes?

Would this involve the “power-up” system the devs have discussed before?

What kind of new customization can we expect in the future of the game?

Would this include the return of the housing function?

Will this provide more options for other gender presenting players besides femme?

Would SSO consider letting the player input their own pronouns into the game without changing the story in any other way?

Would SSO ever consider switching to an expansion based system over the weekly release schedule?

If not, why is the weekly release better for the game than having larger, less frequent updates?

If they would, what would this mean for daily content, in terms of daily quests and achievements, as well as the payment system for an expansion?

Would SSO ever bring back more fan generated content, like the T-Shirt contest?

With SSO branching out to more unique types of story telling, would SSO hold contests for writing companion short stories or producing audio stories like Texas Bluebells?

Will SSO release a public list of community guidelines, so both players and moderators know what is correct behavior, and so also ensure that moderators are upholding SSO’s rules and not personal ones?

What about an internal reporting system to simplify reporting?

Question I Think Would Be Asked Of Me

1. Why are you so critical of the game?

Ok. Here’s the essay.

I suppose it would be easy to say that it’s out of spite. And there’s probably some of that in there. Some innate bitterness over the fact that the PR team, for a period, actively deleted anything critical, regardless of content. The fact that they outright lied about empirical data the players were giving the devs (see the AQH release). Sure, there’s the fact that I’ve seen and had SSO’s dev team do a 180 on me from offering me a space on the mod team for trying to promote a better community to having their devs and outreach insult and demean me on the basis of my comments being “critical.”

And it does drive me a little nutty to see the devs so successfully have turned their player base on anyone who might critique the game. To see my hard work trying to get players to be decent people in the game turned on its head when I say one word crosswise about something that might make the game better. And I’ve be wrong to say I don’t get frustrated when I talk about changes SSO could apply with after being a gamer for way longer than most of the people debating me, with enough research done on my own to be the basis for a master’s thesis, only to be told by someone who SSO is their first video game telling me how the industry works. But that’s really not it.

So, here it is:

Star Stable is one of the only non-combat MMOs in the world.

Let me repeat that; Star Stable is one of the only non-combat MMOs in the world. And I imagine that invokes a sense of pride, like you’ve hit some kind of niche. But that’s not a truth because of some lucky chance.

Non-combat MMOs survive on small niche markets, before consistently dying off because of failure to expand beyond their initial targets. And it’s not for lack of trying. People love non-combat games; Animal Crossing, Harvest Moon, Stardew Valley, Nintendogs, Roller Coaster and Zoo Tycoon, the Myst series, so on. But when those games refuse to look passed their niche, to expand and improve, they have historically failed as MMOs because one niche cannot fund an MMO.

And where SSO has survived on the niche market of “horse girl fantasy,” it is most certainly not expanding. SSO talks about its overall player count being in the millions, but ignores that fact that for every unique player there are five duplicate accounts, which is a metric that continues to bloat. That out of 12 million players, only 3% of those players are regularly active, compared to most MMOs which will hit 15-25% of their player base regularly between expansions. And no matter how you swing those numbers, no matter how much more you bloat the prices, that is not a long term lifespan. You can’t survive on that niche.

I genuinely believe SSO could help influence the industry. And I don’t mean that in a “if you follow all my ideas, everything will end up perfectly.” I’m not always right, and I’m willing to admit that. But the fact that SSO has been so resistant to any criticism results in a mob mentality with its core player base and it ostracizes anyone who can’t put up with that attitude any longer. Not only does it put the developers into an echo chamber where they can’t improve, it continues to push away the people who care enough to sit down and explain why they’re frustrated. You tighten that niche. You limit your market. You run out of resources.

And I do think SSO has already made leaps ahead for parts of the industry. The number of people who say SSO was their first MMO, their first game, is amazing. It’s great to see a game helping young people get into gaming, particularly girls who, when I was their age, were bullied for even liking video games. So for SSO to make that platform is amazing. But they cannot abuse that by taking advantage of new gamers who don’t know any better about how games are made or sold. I feel, and I feel this of every company, not just SSO, that there is a moral obligation to do right by people, and not to take advantage of their ignorance. And with such a powerful platform to invite young people into this sphere, into making new games and telling new stories, it is imperative that SSO does right by people.

I’m hard on SSO because I care, immensely. You could say I have a fixation on the game, really. I am invested in the survival of this game. But you can’t survive without getting better. Not to mention, the criticism SSO gets is free! From thousands of people. When I edited my book, I paid over $2,000 for my two editors I worked with, and that’s not even getting into beta readers and reviewers. I would love to be able to get feedback for free like SSO does. Because it’s an opportunity to improve because we are never going to be perfect. And if SSO wants to survive the trends surrounding their genre, then they can leave no room for quarter to people like me. Not out of oppression of people’s voices, but by listening and making a better game.

Thanks for your time.

#woj analysis #star stable #starstable #star stable online #starstableonline

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supportyourmind · 6 years

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TOP TIPS FOR CARING FOR YOURSELF

Now I’m no expert, but I have found many things in my time online on how to care for yourself and help manage your mental health. Whether you have bipolar, anxiety, an eating disorder or even just a stressful job that you want to unwind from, I believe the following tips will be able to help you take a step back and focus your mind. Focusing your mind and concentrating on something other than your mental health is something that is simple yet affective and there are things that you can do every day. Not all of them will apply to everyone, but hopefully the following will be able to help!

GET PLENTY OF SLEEP 💤 Not as simple as it seems, those who suffer with insomnia or anxiety might find it hard to sleep, however sleep is really important for not only mental but physical health. Having plenty of sleep help regulate chemicals in your brain that are important to manage your moods and emotions.

However if you find it hard to sleep, tips that can help with this is exercising regularly. For example, I have trouble sleeping, however I make sure I have a routine of running at 9pm at night, so when I come home and shower, I’m ready to jump into bed. This also can give you a sleep schedule. If you keep a bedtime schedule this can also put your brain into auto, and you will know that at 10pm you need to be asleep.

Another tip I think that is very important during this 21st century, is putting your phones down! People can be up hours trolling Instagram at all the beach bods, or on Facebook watching all the Tasty videos. If you give yourself a bed schedule, make sure your phone is on silent or off and out of sight for you to naturally fall asleep. You’ll be surprised when you put the phone down how quickly you are able to fall asleep. You may also then decide to read a book in bed instead of Facebook.

Herbal remedies like camomile and peppermint teas (those without caffeine) also help sooth and relax the body.

GET PLENTY OF SUNLIGHT ☀️ Ever heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD?) This is when people in winter don’t see any sunlight because of either working in offices when the light is out, or the weather just simply doesn’t have enough sunlight, and this why in Winter you see a lot more people who are yearning for Summer so they can have some sun. Sunlight is a great source of vitamin D. Vitamin D is a really important vitamin for our bodies and our brains. It helps our brains to release chemicals which improve our mood, like endorphins and serotonin. Try to go out in the sun when you can, but make sure you keep your skin and eyes safe. 30 minutes to two hours a day of sunlight is ideal. If you live by the beach? Go walk across the front. Have a dog? Go take them on a nice walk. Live in the city? Walk into town at lunch and eat your lunch outdoors. Live near work? Walk to and from work. Even if there is no sunlight, the air in itself will help.

ACTIVITY & EXERCISE 🏃🏼‍♀️ As mentioned earlier, exercise can not only help you sleep but doing some activity and exercise are essential in maintaining good mental health. Being active not only gives you a sense of achievement, but it boosts the chemicals in your brain that help put you in a good mood. Exercising can help eliminate low mood, anxiety, stress and feeling tired and lazy. When I say exercise or activity, I don’t expect you all to pick up a football and run around a pitch for 90 minutes playing a game of football, or sign up for your the next half marathon in your area. Simply walking by the beach, walking to the shops and back or even not taking your car to work and walking the long way around. All of this counts as activity and exercise. However, have you ever dreamed of being in the netball team? Or practicing JuJitsu? Maybe this will give you a nudge to start trying something you may have always wanted to do. You don’t have to spent loads of money or go into a gym class full of people if you’re not a fan of crowds. Do what suits you, and push yourself.

DO SOMETHING YOU ENJOY 📚 What better way to make you smile than doing somehitng you enjoy. Whether you do it on your own or do it with other people, try to make time for doing the fun things you enjoy. If you like going for a walk, painting or a specific TV show, try to set aside time to enjoy yourself. If we don't spend any time doing things we enjoy, we can become irritable and unhappy. When they say there isn’t enough time in the day, they’re wrong. Make sure you set that time aside. If you enjoy something you can’t do in the house, google and see if there are any classes in your local area. For example, I really enjoy ballet. I’m never going to be a professional, but I had found a class for adults that do it for fun and also to keep fit. Don’t say you can’t do what makes you happy, as you’ll find a way.

DO THINGS FOR OTHERS 👏🏼 Helping others isn't just good for the people you're helping; it's good for you too. Helping someone can help with your self-esteem and make you feel good about your place in the world. Feeling as though you're part of a community is a really important part of your mental health. If you support others, they are also available to support you. Whether you help an old woman cross the street or you volunteer at your local charity, every little helps. (For them & you)

ASK FOR HELP ♥️ You are never alone. That is one thing you will always have to remember. There is always someone there for you to reach out to. Whether its an old school teacher, your brothers partner or an online forum, there is someone out there for everyone. One of the most important ways to keep yourself mentally healthy is to recognise when you're not feeling good, and to know when to ask for help. There's no shame in asking someone for support if you're feeling low or stressed. Everyone goes through patches where they don't feel as good as they should. If you think your mental health is getting on top of you, you’re allowed to feel like you can’t control it and ask someone to help you do that. Don’t ever be afraid or ashamed. You’re not on your own

#love #self #care #self care #support #tips #healthy #happy #mind #mental health #health #sleep #eat #sun #ask for help #sharing #helping #exercise #activity #mental #awareness #self love

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punkpoemprose · 6 years

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December 5th- Like Other Girls Do

Universe: Modern AU

Rating: M (Mature, but no sex yet)

Length: 2287 Words

An extension of the “Is This Seat Taken” Universe I wrote a while back (Oh my God it was 2015!). This had to be broken into two separate pieces because it was becoming excessively long! So here we are Pt 1/2, strongly worded smut to follow!

Anna had never imagined that she would have planned out her “first time”. As soon as she was signed up for college, she had assumed that it would just happen some crazy night with a nice guy she met at a party or something like that. It was how it always seemed to happen on television and in the smutty novels she’d hidden under her bed in high school.

She’d been close with a freshman year boyfriend who had hardly been a boyfriend in any way that counted. He’d been interested in her for her name, had taken her out once or twice and had never kissed her, but had tried once or twice to get her into his bed. When she’d smartened up and left him, she’d tried to go on the rebound but had found it much easier to sit in her apartment with a container of chocolate ice-cream and a marathon of 90’s cartoons.

It had barely been a blink and she was in her senior year and with all her exams and the advent of boxed wine, her tub, and a waterproof battery powered boyfriend being a viable option, she hadn’t really given cherry popping much thought. Yet, she was on the bus back home with a man at her side that she hadn’t sought out in the slightest and they were both boiling over with a sort of nervous excitement.

He’d just finished work, she’d just finished her last final, and now a month into dating and dancing around the will they or won’t they, he’d anxiously and a bit sweetly asked and planned out a night for them to get to know one another in the biblical sense. He’d wanted to take her out to dinner, but she’d insisted on the takeout she was holding. Sitting through a meal with the anticipation of what they were going to do would ruin her appetite, she’d warned him, and she’d wanted her favorite Chinese as a reward for finishing out her schoolwork anyway. He’d offered to pick her up from school, but she’d wanted to take the bus, it was after all where they’d met in the first place, and it kept them from being alone in awkward silence. The hustle and bustle of others around them on the commute was enough to keep her from focusing on her own nervousness. Or at least she’d thought that it would be.

They’d decided that they’d do it at her apartment and she’d cleaned meticulously despite him having spent the night there on several occasions in the past. She’d washed the sheets and folded hospital corners into her bed. She’d bought herself her first set of lingerie that was meant to be sexy and was wearing it beneath her sun dress, hoping that it was the right thing to do to surprise him. It was what the girls did in the other, more adult, romance novels that she was now hiding under her bed.

She’d bought wine and she’d bought condoms and she’d counted the steps between her bed and her bathroom. She’d bought a copy of Cosmo, she’d thrown out the copy of Cosmo, she’d been too embarrassed to check out the copy of the Kama Sutra from the library and she’d overthought every single way in which the event could go down. She’d done her research, started birth control, cried a lot from both the research and the birth control and now with tonight being the night, meticulously planned and thought out, she felt like she was going to be sick.

Another crowd loaded onto the bus and Anna looked down at her feet. She knew she had no business being as nervous as she was after four years of it being anything but a big deal, and yet she was anxious. She’d always been of the mentality that it would “happen when it happened” and now she was planning and counting down seconds and wondering when exactly she’d lost her nonchalance. Her leg was bouncing, and she was stricken by curiosity as to why her younger self hadn’t worried more about the act.

She felt his arm wrap around her shoulder gently. He was warm and solid at her side, pulling her tight to him as strangers took seats at their sides.

“Cold?” he asked, and she realized that she was shaking more than she’d thought. The May heat had been unseasonably sweltering, but with the sun having gone down, the thin fabric of her sundress, and the air conditioning of the bus she was feeling a bit chilly.

She nodded. It was the easier answer, and it was at least partially true. Of course, she was almost entirely certain that he knew there was more to it than that, but he was pulling her closer against him and taking off his denim jacket to rest it over her shoulders.

She didn’t know quite why she was tearing up, but she ducked her head back down and snuggled into his jacket, feeling overwhelmed. She could feel his hand running up and down her arm gently through the fabric and she closed her eyes and focused on it. The noise around her settled into a hum and she allowed herself to be comforted by the way he pressed his lips to her hair as they rode along.

Kristoff, for all his nervousness and gentlemanly nature, had never shied away from tasteful public displays of his affection for her. Anna appreciated it, particularly now that she needed it. Despite the source of her nervousness being attached to him, and what they’d be doing soon, she found that his warmth and affection was just as comforting as it always was. He always knew just how to help her, and even from their first meeting, he always had.

When the bus stopped, he picked up their takeout and lead her from the bus with his hand in hers. The air outside was less chill, but Anna felt comfortable still wearing his jacket. Now that they were just minutes away from being in her apartment, she found her nervousness fading to the background somewhat. For all her concerns, she was with Kristoff, and if she’d learned anything in the past months, it was that everything was okay when she was at his side.

“You know we don’t have to do anything,” he whispered as they entered her building’s elevator together.

It sent a pleasant chill down her spine to hear him address it. His voice was low and husky and while she knew that he meant what he was saying, she could also tell that he was looking forward getting her into bed. That alone was enough to get her feeling a bit warm.

The lobby had been quiet, and she hadn’t seen many lights on as they’d approached the building. It was too early for everyone to be in bed and so she determined that most of her neighbors were enjoying a nice evening out. She wouldn’t complain about the matter given that someone hearing them through the walls or floor had been one of the concerns she’d spent hours overthinking.

“I want to,” she said in response, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks, “It’s just that… you know I’ve never…”

He nodded, “And you know I haven’t either.”

She nodded. It was uncharted territory for them both. The furthest they’d gone before had been a bit of heavy petting that had made her feel like a teenager again and had left her wanting more. She couldn’t help but to wonder what exactly he had in mind for the evening given that she’d worried about everything else.

The elevator dinged when they reached her floor and he gestured to let her out first. Her apartment was the furthest from the elevator and she felt as if the hallway was endless as she walked toward her door. He was close behind her as they made their way, and she was careful to keep his jacket from falling off her shoulder as she dug into the pockets of her dress for her keys.

When the door was finally within reach, she fumbled a bit with the lock, but managed to open it and enter her home. It had been meticulously cleaned and it still smelled like lemon cleaner, which hit her when she opened the door. It was partially because of what he was coming over to do, and partially because she liked to clean to avoid studying. She’d managed to hack her sense of accomplishment by counting a clean house as something just as positive as a book chapter read. It had done little for her education, but quite a lot for her mental health.

She heard the door close behind them and she toed off her shoes slowly as he removed his and brought the food to the kitchen table. Her apartment was small, and as such there weren’t a lot of places, she could hide to recompose herself. He could clearly see her nervousness as she hung his jacket up, and she could feel his eyes on her.

His arms were around her again. He held her tight, but not restrictively, around her waist and she sighed when he leaned down to press his forehead into hers.

“I know I just said it, so I won’t again. I want you to be comfortable, okay? Nothing you don’t want.”

Anna closed her eyes and sighed. She hated her lack of confidence when she was usually the one taking the lead. It was just that she didn’t like the sense of not knowing what she was doing at all. Normally she had enough of a sense of the things that she was getting into with him that she felt at least somewhat comfortable, but now there was no amount of reading and research that made her feel ready for a practical application.

“Kris, can we just… sit on the couch and see where it goes? I’m sorry. I thought I’d be ready, but I’m not sure.”

He didn’t respond, but she felt herself being swept up into his arms and when they reached her couch, he set her down carefully before sitting at her side. He pressed a kiss to her cheek and she could feel his smile against her skin. He was close to her side, but she knew that he wasn’t going to get any closer until she did. He’d always been good about barriers, always apologizing if he thought for even a moment that he’d overstepped a boundary and always going out of his way in every context to make sure she felt comfortable.

The way he behaved when it came to her comfort was one of the many reasons why she’d wanted to become intimate with him in the first place and was certainly what had lead her to want to take things to a new level.

She swung her legs up onto his lap, a pretense which was more for her benefit than for his when it came to taking things slow as she’d just asked. She knew that she’d be in his lap entirely within moments but nudging her legs onto him first felt like a good place to start.

Kristoff’s hand went to her legs and, still leaned in, he shifted from her cheek to the edge of her jaw, kissing slowly down to her chin and then back up until his lips met hers fully. His hand was running up and down the tops of her legs slowly, always staying below her hemline, but teasing at the skin that was just at the line.

She kissed him back and leaned into it, feeling so much more comfortable in the charted waters of a couch make out session that she was emboldened by his affections. Her thighs spread apart, and she shifted herself, as expected, into his lap, her legs on either side of his. His hand moved north, but not dramatically so such that his hands were gripping her hips as she was moving her body closer to his.

The moments where she had to break their kiss to move felt like a travesty, and she was quick to recapture his lips each time. She liked to kiss him, especially when she was the one leading and deepening their contact. She enjoyed his allowing her to be in charge and when she bucked her hips forward against him, she swallowed the groan that left his lips.

All the articles she’d read and mental checklists she’d written escaped her when she felt his hands grip her hips more tightly than he had before and when she’d felt him pressing into her through her panties. Her skirt was already hiked up around her, fabric shoved to the spaces between them that she could stomach to have space between. She couldn’t think of how to move, so she pivoted her hips on instinct, kissing him as she did so until she could no longer differentiate between his panting and her moaning.

His hands were under her skirt and her lips were on his neck by the time she had the good sense to realize that her fears had been abolished and her confidence had been built back up to acceptable levels.

“Could we maybe take this to my bedroom now?” She asked, panting against his hot skin, lips tasting like sweat and feeling swollen.

“Oh God yes!” Was his response as he stood and carried her with her legs wrapped around his waist toward her bedroom door.

She could only smile into his neck in response, feeling for the first time in the day that she had nothing to worry about.

#kristanna advent 2018 #kristanna #modern au #smut to come #I wrote this one in halves #The second half will go up tomorrow #I am very behind #Someone remind me to go for lower word counts #Please

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