#i technically DID write most of it during the summer

[thebirdandhersong]

apparently the exhilaration of finishing one project means jump-starting another one

[frogchiro]

Nghh @justadeadreaper and I have been cooking and he inspired me to write this so you guys can thank him!

Goddess reader who is taking a nice warm milk bath in her temple, just lazy and unbothered on a warm summer evening. The day has been slow as of now, not many people came to the temple today and even the cats that roam the temple grounds along with the maidens that take care of it were mostly lazing around in the warm sun or playing in the natural ponds that spread all over the grounds.

Imagine that you're just relaxing in the warm bath, no worries and no ailments when suddenly it's all ruined by König, your most devoted follower, who burst in through the dainty doors and ruins the calm ambience with his clanking armor and rude roar of arrival :/

And he's...dirty. He's bloodied, smelly and looks like one of those barbarians straight from the forest you've heard your followers talk about. Well, technically he IS one but he's a warrior of the people, one of the protectors of the village and a decorated war veteran. König is considered old already, in his 40's, but he's still as much bloodthirsty and ready for a fight and full of vigor like a young buck.

But the thing that just burst down your door isn't a young buck; it's a proud stallion right from the battlefield who came out victorious and he's still full of testosterone from the fighting in your honor, now it came time for a reward, namely fucking and showing his lovely goddess his prowess and proclaim his undying love and devotion for you...But he was dirty :(

König was already dropping his bloodies armor and clothes all over the pristine marble floor, already talking excitedly about all the kills he got, how he tore off the head of the chief and he even brought it with him to show you and-

And you stop him right there right before he could make a dive into your warm and clean milky bath; where does he think he's going? And poor König looks all confused and upset because why is his little goddess whining at him? Why are you refusing to let him join you?? Did he displease you in any way? :(

But you keep whining at him that he's dirty, he's smelly and he has no business in warm, clean milk water; what he needs is a hard scrub with scented bath oils to get rid of the grime and stench of blood and dirt, only then will he be allowed anywhere near you.

Imagine how pathetic König would get; all whiny with his huge boyish eyes looking at you. But he's so pent up and happy to return to you! His cock has been straining even during the battle due to the adrenaline, but afterwards he got horny while thinking about you, your sweet breasts, your soft, curvy body and soft skin; he promises he hasn't jerked off even once! He kept it all in just for you! His balls are all full and hanging low with potent seed, please let him offer it to you </3

[katyswrites]

don't call me 'baby'

PART 10 | SERIES

Pairing: Steve Harrington/fem!reader

Warnings: Sugardaddy!Steve, SMUT (18+), angst, mentions of pregnancy/a pregnancy scare, mentions of food and alcohol, unprotected p in v, daddy kink, oral sex (f receiving), creampie, ddlg dynamics, swearing, alcohol use, smoking, age gap, no use of y/n

Wordcount: 10.4K

A sugar daddy modern AU, a whirlwind summer romance in Italy, and two people from completely different walks of life, somehow finding each other in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. But, what will happen when summer ends?

PART 10 | meet me in the afterglow

FOUR MONTHS LATER

Your walk to work was chilly enough to warrant a coat. That was perhaps the thing you missed least about home in the U.S. - even though the winters certainly got cold here, it was nowhere near the sub-zero temperatures you had grown up with during the coldest time of year. Maybe the only thing you missed was snow - in all of your time living here, you had only gotten a brief dusting once, and it had melted by the following day.

Still, a week out from Christmas, you now needed to wrap something warm around yourself as you walked down the street, heading closer to the city center as your shift was due to start. 

You were technically two minutes late to your shift, the coffee shop busy enough to have a line going out the door when you arrived. Yet, your manager Francesco said nothing - a small spark of joy in your day. 

You didn’t necessarily need to go back to work - Steve’s money had yet to run out. But, you felt good about earning your own money - and, the less you had to draw on his remaining funds, the less you had to think about him.

You hadn’t seen or spoken to Steve since the night of your argument. Well, that was only partially true - you had received one piece of communication from him. It came a few days later - you had been moping in your apartment, having barely left your room for days, when an envelope arrived. It had his familiar writing and wax seal, with another wad of cash and a letter made out to you:

I promise this is the last you’ll hear from me. I am a man of my word, so I promise to help provide for you until you’re finished with school. I’ll be transferring enough money to your account to cover all of your expenses, so no need to worry about your rent, food, anything of the sort… I really do want you to be able to focus on school, okay? So, please don’t protest, or try to send the money back. Please feel free to use the credit card if you need to. 

I’m sorry it ended this way. We both knew it was going to, but I apologize if I said anything out of line the other night. I truly do wish you the best. 

Take care,

Steve

Reading it had been a punch to the gut. The formality of it, the finality of it… you would’ve rather that you never heard from him again. You had stashed the letter in a box under your bed, and not looked at it since.

A few weeks after that, you had pregnancy scare. It was silly, really - but, your period was late, and if was the first conclusion your mind had jumped to. You had called Robin in a panic, begging her to come home - she did, with four different brands of pregnancy tests. Those 15 minutes of waiting for results were the most agonizing of your life - then, upon seeing them all negative, you fell to your knees and burst into tears.

“It’s okay,” Robin had cooed, rubbing soothing circles on your back. “You’re good it was a false alarm - you’re probably just late because of stress -”

“I know,” you sobbed. “I just -”

“What is it?”

You then had sat up, chest heaving as you sobbed.

“He’s really gone isn’t he?”

Robin held you in her arms that night as you cried yourself to sleep.

To your knowledge now, he had gone back to the U.S. - was he still in Chicago? Or, did he go back to New York? You realized it was better for you to not ask these questions, or to think of him at all. As the weeks had turned into months, you found yourself thinking of him a little less each day - but you still thought of him. You saw him in the passersby as you walked down the street, in every car window, in every businessman walking through the door to order a coffee. Sometimes, you’d hear a laugh, or get a brief whiff of cigarette smoke, and swear it was him. But it never was - it never would be again.

The days had dragged on, but luckily, you often found yourself too busy to dwell too much on thoughts of Steve. Between work and school, your plate was pretty full. With graduation in mere weeks, you had spent the entire term studying and working on your thesis. Steve’s remaining money, at least, allowed you to work far less hours than you had before - a small blessing, you supposed. 

The day was moving pretty quickly, the morning rush busy enough that two hours flew by without much notice. It was only during the afternoon lull that you found yourself able to look up from the espresso machine - only to lock eyes with a familiar face through the window.

Eddie smiled back at you, waving. You couldn’t help but grin, and beckoned him to come inside. He bounded through the glass doors, bursting into the coffee shop with the infectious, chaotic energy he always carries with him.

“Bella, how are you?” he asked, leaning over the counter with a big grin.

“I’m okay,” you said, shrugging.

He raised an eyebrow.

“Just okay?”

“Oh well - you know, a bit stressed with the end of term and all. But, that’ll all be over soon.”

“I’m almost done, too - just finishing up my exams, all of that nonsense.”

“Do you have someone for your thesis?”

You nodded. “Professor Hopper - he’s always had a soft spot for me,” you said, smiling fondly, thinking of the seemingly-gruff. 

“I have Clarke - I don’t actually know how much he knows about photography, he teaches chemistry for godsake, but apparently it’s a hobby or something, so he’ll sign off on whatever I do,” Eddie said, laughing.

“Oh! I forgot to tell you - I actually have my own studio space now.”

“What? Eddie, that’s amazing!”

He grinned. “Thanks - I mean, I’m still technically freelance, but I’m hoping once I’m fully graduated more work will start coming in. But for now, I don’t mind having some spare time to practice with the band.”

You did your best to stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

“Right - don’t forget me when you make it as a big rockstar, Eddie.”

He let out a hearty laugh at that, the infectious kind that had you joining in - you hadn’t laughed like that in quite some time.

“You know, you should come by later to check it out,” Eddie said. “I mean, if you want -”

You thought for a moment, then nodded.

“Sure, why not - I get off in about a half hour -”

“Perfect,” he cried, clapping his hands together. “I’ll just wait around then - and, uh, can I get an espresso? Since I’m already here and all.”

You rolled your eyes, fighting a smile.

“Yeah, sure thing Munson - I’ll take my sweet time with it, just for you.”

The end of your shift flew by, and soon enough you were pulling off your apron, linking your arm in Eddie’s as he led you out the door and through the city.

The studio, as it turned out, was only a few blocks away. The space was small, but nice - a big glass storefront allowed plenty of light in, even with the fading sun, indicative of the short days of winter. Some of Eddie’s work hung framed on the walls - city scenes, candids of people on the street, bands in action at his favorite club… and even a few of you, from the project you posed for a few years ago.

“Wow - this is amazing, Eddie!” you exclaimed, glancing around the studio with genuine pride for your friend. You knew this was always the goal for him, what he always wanted to do.

“Grazie mille,” he said, beaming. 

“Do you have anything lined up?”

He nodded.

“Some - nothing too interesting. A few weddings, graduation photoshoots, things like that. Oh, do you want to see the photo lab?”

You let him lead the way into the back room, passing through a dimly-lit room with machines and equipment that you were sure you had no idea how to use. Newly developed photos were hanging around on clothespins, or spread across the table in the middle.

“Back there is the darkroom,” Eddie said, gesturing to a small door on the other side of the room. “But yeah, this is where the magic happens.”

“You develop all your pictures this way?” you asked, examining a few laid across the table.

He shook his head. “Not exactly - only the stuff I shoot on film. A lot of what I do is digital, and I edit that on my computer but… I really do love shooting film. I only really do that for specific things. Oh, which reminds me!”

He turned his back to you, rummaging through a filing cabinet until he produced a large manila envelope, extending it to you. You furrowed your brow, confused. You turned it to examine it properly - the only thing written on it was your name and a date, in Eddie’s telltale scrawl.

“What -”

“It’s those pictures I owe you, from your birthday party - sorry, it took me a while to get around to developing them.”

Oh. 

“Oh,” you said quietly, gripping the envelope a bit tighter. “Uh, thanks - that was really nice of you, Eddie.”

You were still staring down at the parcel in your hands, your hands shaking a bit - you had completely forgotten that Eddie had been taking pictures all night. Most likely because you had been a bit distracted at the time. But now…

“I think they turned out pretty nice, if you ask me,” Eddie said. “But, you can be the judge of that yourself.”

You pressed your mouth into a tight line, nearly feigning a smile as you finally met his eyes again. He was looking back expectantly, and you realized he wanted you to look at them now. 

“Oh, yeah,” you mumbled. “I guess I’ll just -”

You opened it up, sliding out the stack of photos - they were slightly bigger than the ones you had seen from a digital camera, on a beautiful matte paper that you knew must have not been cheap. This, you realized, was Eddie’s belated birthday gift to you.

You thumbed through the pictures - the first few were just candids of your friends on the dancefloor, or deep in conversation around the bar. There were a few of you and Robin, arms thrown around each other and smiling ear-to-ear.

There were quite a few solo shots of you, raising a glass to the camera, mid-laugh, or dancing - somehow, he had made it look like you truly were the center of attention, as if to tell people this is who we were there for! 

You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, laughing quietly at a few of the shots, including one of Robin flipping off the camera as she kisses Vickie. Then, your smile dropped, because there he was.

Steve, looking as handsome as you remembered, but somehow also a stranger, or like a figment of your imagination. Somehow, a small part of your subconscious had convinced you over the last few months that perhaps he wasn’t real, a true figment of your imagination that had been too good to be true. But there he was, large as life, his arm wrapped around you as you smiled into the camera. You were smiling in his arms, a girl completely unrecognizable in some ways. In another photo, he’s pressing a kiss to your cheek as you laugh - you remembered that one being taken, that’s for sure. You gently trailed your fingers across the picture, as if you were hoping to reach in and pull that happy girl out, just to shake a bit of sense into her. You didn’t even realize you were crying until a fat wet teardrop his the page, rolling down and off the edge.

“Whoa - are you alright?” Eddie asked, his voice tinged with worry.

You jumped, having nearly forgotten that he was there at all. How long had you been staring at the pictures of Steve? For a few minutes, or hours? There was no way to know.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you said, the thickness in your voice betraying you. You pressed the heels of your hands under your eyes, willing the gentle tears to stop, sniffling.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie asked softly.

You laughed dryly, more hot tears welling up as you did.

“Nothing! I - they’re beautiful, Eddie. Really - thank you. You - you’ve really got a talent.”

Your voice wobbled a bit at the end, and you sniffled.

“I’m sorry, I - it’s nothing to do with you,” you assured him. “I just - I’ve been having a hard time lately.”

Eddie cocked his head, confused. Then, his eyes flitted down to the picture in your hands.

“Oh - I’m sorry, I - is this about him?” Eddie asked quietly, gesturing to the photos. You just nodded, avoiding his gaze again as you stuffed them back into the envelope.

“I didn’t know you two had broken up, I’m sorry -”

“We didn’t break up!” you snapped, harsher than intended. “Fuck, I - sorry, that came out wrong. We didn’t break up, because we were never exactly together. It’s just complicated.”

Eddie furrowed his brow. “Yeah, okay - well, I’m sorry to hear about your not-breakup. I guess I’m just a little surprised.”

“Why’s that?” you asked.

He shrugged. “I spent a long time looking at all of those when I was developing them - you know how they say pictures tell a thousand words?”

You nodded.

“Well - I take pictures of a lot of couples - weddings, engagement shoots, all of that… and I’ve never seen two people more in love than you two.”

You felt your chest tighten - maybe you were being a lovesick idiot at your party, but Steve?

You shook your head. “No - Eddie, it… it wasn’t like that. I can promise you that.”

Steve made that perfectly clear.

Eddie shrugged again. “I’m just telling you what I observed, that’s all.”

“Well maybe you should mind your business,” you grumbled.

Fuck. You shouldn’t have said that.

Eddie’s face fell a bit, and he slowly took a step back, hands shoved in his pockets.

“My apologies,” he whispered. He was hurt, that much was obvious. You mentally kicked yourself.

“No Eddie - I’m sorry, I didn’t -” 

You sighed, frustrated.

“Things have been, like, really weird the last few months and… it doesn’t matter.”

“I could tell,” he said, voice quiet. “You’ve been.. Distant.”

You nodded, the awkwardness filling the space between you two. You had fucked this up too, somehow.

“So,” you said, clearing your throat. “Uh, it’s getting late, and dark… I probably should head home.”

“Yeah, okay - good idea, I have some stuff to work on anyway.”

You both nodded, avoiding eye contact as you both headed out back into the studio.

It wasn’t until you were at the door that you turned to face Eddie again.

“The place really is beautiful… I’m proud of you,” you said sincerely. He offered a small smile in return.

“Thanks.”

“I also - the pictures are beautiful. Thank you for these, I - they’re great.”

“I’m sorry if they -”

“Don’t apologize,” you said firmly. “They’re great - you’ve really got a gift, you know.”

You could tell Eddie was fighting a real smile, a small win in your book.

“C’mon, you know my ego’s just fine on its own.”

You laughed, and without thinking, pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry I lost it a little earlier,” you whispered.

“It’s alright,” he said, pulling away. “Heartbreak is funny like that.”

You decided not to bother protesting his assessment this time, too tired to start a fight again just to feel something.

“Right, okay.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take out the photos with… him?” Eddie asked, gesturing down to the envelope.

“No, that’s alright - I’m a big girl, I can go through them. I’m definitely going to hang a few of these up though, so thanks again.”

“Take good care of yourself darling, alright? And come by any time - for any reason.”

It was an olive branch, an assurance that things were okay. You forced a smile, nodding.

“Thanks, Eddie - you’re a great friend, you know.”

You bid your farewells, and left the studio with a strange feeling settling within you. You pulled your coat a little tighter around you, stuffing the envelope underneath as you charged through the chilly evening air to the nearest bus stop.

You didn’t get home until nearly 6pm, the winter sky fully dark by then. By the time you walked a few blocks and up the stairs to your apartment, your face was stinging from the cold, the wind picking up more since that afternoon.

Robin was on the couch, a rerun of Friends playing on the TV.

“Hey! You’re back kind of late,” she remarked.

“Yeah - I ran into Eddie, funnily enough,” you replied, hoping you sounded nonchalant.

“Oh really? How is he? I miss him - we should really make a plan to hang out with him soon -”

“Yeah, for sure,” you said, kicking off your shoes and hanging your coat on the rack. “He’s good - I saw his new studio, it’s nice.”

“Oh, no way! That’s great - I need to go sometime -”

“Yeah, totally,” you said, absentminded. “Uh, I’ve got some stuff to do, but I’ll be out here later -”

“Maybe we can get takeout or something -”

“Yeah, perfect -” you tittered, closing your bedroom door behind you, eyes on the envelope in your hands.

You bit your lip, debating what to do. Part of you considered finding all of the pictures of Steve, and burning them. But, that felt a bit dramatic. You pulled out the stack again, sifting through until you found the shots of him. You couldn’t help but smile, looking at how happy the girl in the photos was - if only she knew how quickly things would fall apart that night. The photo of Steve kissing you cheek was your favorite - it was just full of pure, unbridled joy. The one after that was the one you stared at for quite some time, though. You were looking into the camera, grinning widely. Steve, however, wasn’t - no, he was looking at you. You stared at him for quite some time - and remembered Eddie’s words.

I’ve never seen two people more in love than you two.

You had thought it was crazy - but, in the picture, Steve was looking at you like you’d hung the stars. Like, if he didn’t have you, he’d be lost. He was looking at you with eyes full of love - you just hadn’t been looking.

You gasped, realizing what Eddie had seen that you couldn’t - maybe everything had meant more to Steve than he had let on. No, that was crazy - wasn’t it?

What happened next didn’t have much explanation - it was probably crazy. You found yourself Googling Steve’s company headquarters in Chicago - it couldn’t be this easy, could it? But it was.

A quick call through the directory brought you to his secretary, a bubbly woman who was more than happy to help. You pretended to be the secretary of a business partner you had remembered Steve mentioning, saying how you wanted to send a thank-you gift - it had been too easy to get his home address, really. And, a confirmation that he was back in Chicago.

The next morning, you sent out an envelope, sticking on international postage. You debated not putting your name on the return address, but ultimately decided to include it - he’d recognize the address anyway. When you dropped it at the post office, you walked away feeling a sense of relief - and, perhaps, just a bit unhinged. TIme would tell if anything came of it. But, at the very least, it felt like finally closing the chapter of your life that had been defined by Steve Harrington. And, that was a good thing… right?

********

The day before Christmas Eve, you received great news: confirmation that you had passed all of your exams, your thesis receiving glowing feedback from the professors in your department. Your degree, which studied Art History and Travel and Tourism Management, meant that you would actually be able to stay here - you hoped to work in tourism in some way right here in Rome, or perhaps work in one of the city’s many museums - being bilingual would help, and more importantly, it meant you never had to set foot back in the United States again, if you didn’t want.

Christmas brought its usual cheer and celebration, complete with mulled wine and a potluck dinner you and Robin held for some of the other foreign students you were friendly with, knowing they didn’t have families to go to for the holidays. Your graduation only brought extra festivities, including a speech prepared by Robin given as a toast at dinner, saying how proud she was of you (and, how jealous she was that you didn’t have to worry about schoolwork anymore). It was silly yet sincere enough to make you tear up and pull her into a big hug. Eddie and Jonathan even swung by for a bit, joining in on the celebration until the wee hours of the morning. Robin and Vickie were all over each otherYou ate and drank to your heart’s content before stumbling to bed, leaving cleanup in the kitchen for the morning.

The morning of Boxing Day, it turned out, was actually the afternoon, with you and Robin oversleeping. You, to your own relief, felt tired, but not too hungover - the same couldn’t be said for Robin and Vickie, who stumbled into the kitchen with grimaces on their faces and grumbles as a greeting.

You spent most of the day cleaning up from the last two days’ festivities, washing dishes and clearing away wrapping paper, wiping countertops and vacuuming just enough until your home felt semi-in order. 

You were still in your pajamas as it was getting dark again in the evening, a rarity these days. When Robin said she was heading out to dinner with Vickie and likely would be staying at her place that night, you bid her farewell, looking forward to some time alone to fully relax and unwind. 

It was several hours later, after scrounging together a dinner of Christmas leftovers and half-dozing on the couch while a movie played, that your doorbell rang. You sat up with a start, your heart jumping at the unexpected intrusion. You stumbled to the door, grumbling about who could possibly be here at this hour - maybe Robin decided to come back after all, and got locked out again? You were ready to playfully ridicule her when you opened the door. But when you saw who was standing on the other side, you froze.

Steve Harrington was there on your doorstep, barely illuminated in the dim light. His chest was heaving, his hair just a bit disheveled. His eyes widened when he saw you, and you imagined you did the same. Your heart plummeted to your stomach at the sight of him, so real and alive in front of you. Were you dreaming? Was this some sick prank?

Neither of you said anything for a moment, two mouths hanging open, searching for the words.

“It’s Christmas,” you blurted out, the first words you’ve said to him in over four months.

“It’s December 26th,” he replied, simply and casually.

“I - well, it’s still a holiday, kind of.”

“Yeah, I know - do you know how hard it is to catch a last-minute flight on Christmas?”

You just stood there in the doorway, unable to think of anything else to say - what the fuck?

“What are you doing here?” you asked, words biting. You were lashing out a bit, but you didn’t care - this moment right now reminded you of a similar one over the summer, when he came to your doorstep to explain how he wasn’t engaged. What was his excuse now?

“Why did you send me this?” he asked, holding up a familiar envelope - the photo.

Why did you? You weren’t certain of that answer yourself. So, you went with the first explanation that came to your head.

“It’s a good picture of you,” you said quietly.

He rolled his eyes.

“Do not - I don’t hear from you for months, then I get this in the mail - on Christmas Eve, mind you -”

“I’m sorry, were you supposed to hear from me?”

“I don’t know!” he cried. “Maybe?”

You scoffed. “You can’t be serious - you made it very clear that you never wanted to see me again.”

“I - what?”

“I wish you well? Take care? We ended things, Steve - what else was I meant to think?”

He sighed, his shoulders sagging.

“I don’t know. I guess part of me - it doesn’t matter. But, what am I supposed to make of this?” he asks, waving the envelope.

“I - Eddie gave me a bunch of pictures he took at my birthday party… I thought maybe you’d want that one.”

He took a tentative step closer towards you, gauging your reaction. You held your ground, not breaking eye contact.

“Is that the only reason?” he asked, voice low.

You felt your heartbeat quicken, your palms clammy - he really was just so handsome. Still, there was something so boyish about him, something that reminded you of why you fell for him in the first place. He had cut his hair a bit, his summer tan faded - and he looked tired. Then again, you probably did too - you suddenly became conscious of the fact that you were in your pajamas, still looking like you had just woken up - you wished you could disappear, never to be perceived again.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “The only reason.”

He was close enough now that you could see his Adam’s Apple bob as he gulped, his eyes glancing up and down your form as he took a deep breath.

“Tell me that, when you sent this, there wasn’t at least a small part of you that hoped I’d respond - that, when you sent this, you hoped I’d call, or show up here. If there wasn’t, I’ll walk away right now, and you’ll never have to see me again.”

There it was - everything laid out on the table. So much was still unsaid - but, it was obvious that he also had been hurting the last few months, that he didn’t want this to end, maybe even nearly as much as you did. 

“You really flew all the way here because I sent you a photo?” you whispered.

He nodded. “Of course I did.”

“You realize how crazy that is, right?”

He chuckled dryly.

“Well, they do say it makes you do crazy things.”

“...it?” you asked, voice wavering.

He nodded.

Oh.

“Come inside,” you murmured. “It’s pretty cold out there.”

As soon as the door was shut behind him, he began spiraling into a new explanation.

“I hope you know that I didn’t come here just to - you’re right, it is kind of crazy, but I didn’t know what else to do, after everything that happened -”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” you said, cutting him off. “I don’t want to talk at all.”

You both stood there for a moment, eyes locked on eachother. Then, as if reading each other’s minds, you both moved at once - you crashed your lips into his, fast and desperate. He sighed against your lips, pulling you close as his tongue slipped into your mouth. 

You felt like crying - you had missed him so much, more than you had realized - his voice, his warmth, his scent - it brought everything flooding back, the feelings you had buried in an attempt at self-preservation. But now, as you kissed him, you felt the tears well up, stinging your eyes as they rolled down your face, hot and fast.

“Whoa - baby, it’s okay - what’s wrong -”

Baby. 

“Nothing,” you cried, wiping the tears away. “I just - I really fucking missed you.”

You felt stupid to admit it, but then again, didn’t he come close to confessing that himself just a few moments ago?

“I know, I know, baby - you have no fuckin’ idea -”

Another kiss, passionate and apologetic.

“I didn’t mean any of what I said that night,” you gasped, pulling him closer. “I was just so scared -”

“I know, me too, baby - m’sorry -”

Baby. Babybabybaby.

He was holding your face between his hands now, backing you up until you were pressed against the wall, his lips finding yours again. He titled his head down to nuzzle at your throat, pressing his lips to the sensitive skin there. You tipped your head back, giving him full access to do as he pleased. He kissed and nipped at your neck, until you were moaning and crying out his name, pulling at his coat until it fell off of his shoulders. You twisted your hands in his button-down, his hands squeezing tighter on your waist in response.

“Fuck, Steve,” you breathed. “I’m sorry -”

“Stop with that,” he said, firmly taking your face in his hands again, catching your lips in another gentle kiss. “You’re right, I just realy don’t want to talk anymore -”

Then he was kissing you again, swallowing your noises as you whined his name, fingers gripping his hair.

“Bedroom, now,” you told him. “Please -”

“Yeah, okay.”

He couldn’t keep his hands off of you, both of you stumbling down the small hallway and into your bedroom, Steve slamming the door closed behind him with his foot.

“No Robin?” he asked, lips finding your neck again.

“No - ah! She’s at Vickie’s tonight -”

“Thank Christ,” he growled. “I don’t know how quiet I’m capable of being right now.”

He was apparently as desperate as you were, lips finding yours hungrily as he pulled your oversized t-shirt over your head, eyes practically rolling to the back of his head when he saw your breasts.

“No bra?” he asked.

“I was lounging around, until you showed up -”

“Thank god,” he practically snarled, his hands finding the small of your back to pull you close.

You reached between yourselves, unbuttoning his shirt, fingers slipping as they shook with anticipation. He reached down to help you, until he eventually shrugged the shirt off. You wrapped your arms around him, pressing your bare chest to his, nearly crying again from the contact.

“I really missed you,” he whispered, a man ruined. “I never thought I’d be able to have you like this again -”

“None of that,” you murmured, pressing a finger to his lips. “It’s alright.”

You just stared at him, running your hands down his chest as you took a deep breath.

“I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” he asked, face flickering with concern. “Oh god, are - are you seeing someone else? I didn’t even ask -”

“No! No, nothing like that,” you assured, biting your lip. “I just - do you remember the night of my birthday on our trip, on the rooftop?”

He nodded. “That was a really nice night.”

“I haven’t been totally honest with you,” you admitted, heart racing as you were ready to lay out the thing you had been terrified to admit aloud.

“About what?” he asked softly, cupping your cheek gently with his palm.

“Remember when I said something in Italian, and you asked what it meant? And I just said it meant I loved the gift, the star thing?”

He nodded. You took a deep, shuddering breath.

“That wasn’t exactly true. I - I said that I was in love with you,” you managed, voice quivering at the end. “That’s why I was so scared - I didn’t realize until I said it… I had broken our rule, our number one rule -”

“Hey, hey -” he cooed, shaking his head. “Did you mean it?”

You hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah - I still do.”

The few seconds that passed after that had your stomach doing somersaults - what if he still didn’t feel that way, and everything he had said in the doorway was bullshit? You thought you were going to be sick -

But his face softened, his eyes glistening - was he going to cry?

“Fuck the rules. I stopped following those a long time ago,” he said.

Your heart fluttered, your face heating.

“Are you saying -”

“How did you say it in Italian again?” he asked. “I’m sorry, I’ve been slacking on my lessons without you around.”

You laughed. “Oh, um, it’s sono innamorato di te. It translates directly as I’m in love with you, or I’m falling for you.”

He nodded. “Well then - sono innamorato di te.”

You felt like your chest was about to explode, and before you knew it, you were crying again. He was too, you realized, his cheeks glistening with tears as he choked a sob with laughter.

“We could’ve saved ourselves a lot of trouble if we both just said that in the first place,” he said, reaching to wipe away some of your tears.

“How long?” you asked.

“Since the night of the gala I brought you to. So… longer. I guess I win.”

You sobbed again, Steve swallowing the sound with another kiss. It’s wet and salty with tears, a mess of apologies and confessions.

“Steve - I -”

“I know, baby,” he whispered, kissing your salty cheeks. “It’s alright - I’m here now -”

The conversation truly stopped after that - you couldn’t keep your hands off of one another, shedding clothes until you were nude and devouring each other with desperation unlike anything you had ever felt before.

Steve was pressing his lips between your breasts when you asked, voice breathy and filled with need.

“Steve - I need you, please -”

“Mm - yeah, okay -”

Before he could move, you were reaching down to grasp his cock in your hand. He gasped, pupils blown as his head thumped back against the wall. The noise that came out of him was unholy, wrecked and ruined as you brushed your thumb along his leaking tip.

“Christ, baby -”

“Can I suck you off, please?” you asked, desperate to make him come undone. 

“Honey - you can’t - I just, I wanna fuck you so bad… I won’t last if I let you get your mouth on me, baby.”

You pouted, even as your heart raced with the thrill of knowing you’d have him inside you again.

“Next time,” he said, “I swear.”

A promise of a next time, of a thousand more times - you started kissing him again, lips bruising his - losing yourself in any drink or drug would never compared to losing yourself in Steve Harrington, you decided.

“Get on the bed,” he muttered, gently pushing you back. You did as he asked, falling back onto the mattress gently as he joined you, face hovering inches from yours.

His hair was a mess, pupils blown and lips glossy. He just shook his head, as if in disbelief.

“What?” you asked.

“You’re just so beautiful,” he breathed. 

You felt your face heat, and you buried your face in your hands.

“Shut up.”

“About you? Not likely.”

Before you could come up with a clever remark, he was kissing your neck again, his lips traveling down slowly between the valley of your breasts, taking his time - he was going to leave bruises, you already knew.

But he didn’t stop, traveling down, down, down - 

“What are you -”

“I never said I didn’t want to taste you first,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh. “I miss having my mouth on you so fuckin’ much -”

“Fuck,” you gasped. “You’re unreal -”

“Says you,” he retorted. Whatever you planned to say next died on your lips, anything resembling a coherent thought dissolving as his lips found your cunt.

“Oh my god,” you groaned, back arching as his tongue swirled around your clit.

“Just as fuckin’ sweet as I remembered,” he whispered, his breath against your pussy making your chest heave.

He licked a stripe along your slit, making your back arch off the bed, your eyes fluttering closed.

“Be loud for me, baby,” he murmured, lips finding your clit again. You did as he asked, moaning and crying out his name as he devoured your pussy, eliciting desperate sounds from you as your fingers wound themselves in his hair. He groaned as you pulled on his locks, encouraging you to continue doing so as he opted to slide a finger inside you.

“Fuck - Steve! Ohmygod, fuck -”

You felt him smile as he lapped and licked at your folds, adding a second finger and beginning to pump them in earnest, finding that spot inside of you too easily. 

You were crying out, bucking your hips against Steve’s lips, like putty in his hands. For about ten minutes you were completely his, mind numb with pleasure as he took you apart with his mouth. You let him, feeling the blunt fingernails of his free hand digging into your thigh, pulling you as close as possible.

“Steve - I’m gonna - I’m so close, y’feel too good -”

Encouraged, he picked up the pace a bit, sending you completely over the edge. When you came, you saw stars, grinding down on Steve’s mouth and fingers. You were screaming, and he helped you through it, nuzzling against your core as you pulsed around his fingers. Your hand left his hair and found his temple, gently coaxing him closer as you rode out your orgasm.

You were still breathing heavily as he kissed his way slowly back up your body, worshiping every inch of skin he could find. YOu didn’t let your eyes open again until he was face-to-face with you, chin glistening with your release as he wore a smug grin.

“Such a good girl for me,” he murmured. “Tasted so good… you came so hard for me -”

“Mm -” you hummed, pulling him down for a kiss. You tasted yourself on him, the sensation completely euphoric.

“Do you need some time?” he asked gently.

You ran a finger over your clit, still sensitive and puffy, and shook your head.

“No, I’m okay - I actually really need you to fuck me.”

“Thank god,” he said, exasperated. “I don’t think I can go another second without fucking you -”

“I know -”

“I would dream about you, you know - all the time. I’d wake up in the middle of the night with a hard-on, of a mess in my boxers like a fuckin’ teenager -”

“I know what you mean,” you admitted, recalling a few times you had thought of him as you touched yourself since he’d left. 

“Please tell me you’re still on the fuckin’ pill -”

“Yeah, I am - God, Steve -”

“I know, I know - ready baby?”

You nodded, locking your eyes with his as he positioned himself above you, pushing inside of you ever so slowly. You could tell he was holding back, doing everything he could to not enter you in one rough movement. You winced at the stretch, nearly forgetting just how big he was. He kissed apologies across your face, gasping as he felt your warm walls envelope him.

“Fuck -” he groaned, burying his face in your neck. “I can’t believe I went so long without this - you feel so fuckin’ perfect, baby - such a tight, perfect pussy -”

“You feel so good,” you breathed, digging your fingernails into his shoulderblades. “Steve - I’m so full, please fuck me -”

He did as you asked, rolling his hips against yours, eliciting a groan from both of you. He was still holding back you could tell - but you didn’t have time for that, not after months of missing him, of missing this -

“Let go, baby,” you whispered. “Please -”

“What did you just call me?” he asked.

“I - baby,” you repeated. You realized you never had before - was that wrong?

“Say it again,” he breathed.

“Baby,” you breathed, gasping as he thrust into you a little harder. 

“Baby, please - fuck me, let go,” you cried.

It became fast and hard quickly, the desperation you shared impossible to mask. The slapping of his hips against yours was positively dirty, Steve’s arms caging you underneath him as he pounded into you. Your hand snaked down between you, your own finger finding your clit.

“That’s it, baby,” he groaned, continuing his relentless pace. “Touch yourself for me, just like that - M’not gonan last long, I’m sorry, you just feel too good -”

“It’s okay,” you assured, pressing a kiss to his lips. “I want you to lose it.”

He groaned, the room filling with the sound of slapping skin and moans, your names on each other’s lips.

Nothing else mattered, not when Steve was making you feel like this, not when he had flown across an ocean on a whim, a desperate hope to just see you again, even if only for a moment. You suddenly became so overwhelmed with love for this man, this person who had turned your world upside down - it was indescribable, impossible to even express. So you just held him tight, burying your face into his shoulder.

“M’close - I need you to come with me, baby - can you do that? I know you can, you’re always so good for me -”

You nodded, unable to formulate words anymore.

“I fuckin’ love you,” he cried, hips stuttering, his thrusts growing sloppier. “So much, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you - I love you, baby -”

His words sent you over the edge, white-hot pleasure surging through your body as you screamed his name. The feeling of you clamping around him sending him into his own orgasm. He spilled inside of you, your name on his lips like a prayer. He practically collapsed on top of you, the feeling of his heartbeat against yours feeling like home, like it was always meant to be this way.

Your breaths were labored, sweet kisses peppered across skin. Neither of you spoke for quite some time. After he rolled off of you, he immediately wrapped his arms around you, pulling you as close as physically possible.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, slow and gentle. It was only when you pulled back, brushing some of his sweaty hair away from his face, that you broke the silence.

“I love you, too,” you murmured. You brushed your fingers along his face, and he caught your wrist, pressing kisses to your palm and knuckles, as if determined to worship you every chance he got.

“I want more than an arrangement,” he whispered. “I don’t want rules, or a deal, or -”

“Yeah, that was obvious,” you replied, chuckling. “And, me too.”

“And, you were right - you have school, and I never wanted you to think I just wanted you like a trophy or something - you have your own life, aspirations, and i know that - I just like spoiling you, but I never wanted you to give up who you are,” he said, face soft. “I need you to know that.”

“I do,” you murmured.

You really did. 

“Besides, I graduated.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What? When?”

“Officially? A few days ago.”

He smiled, soft and sincere - part of you was worried he might cry again.

“Congratulations - I’ll have to take you out to celebrate.”

“Mm - sounds good to me. How long - when are you here until?”

There was still life to reckon with, after all - living on two different continents, jobs, obligations - the kind of thing that could ruin this. But, he just shook his head.

“I bought an open-ended ticket. So, until whenever you want.”

“I - what? What about work?”

He shrugged. “Turns out, when you run the place, you can get away with that stuff.”

Your jaw dropped.

“What? Are you serious?”

He nodded. “Brenner’s out. I’m in - youngest CEO in the company’s history.” 

You laughed, pressing your palm to your forehead as you stared at the ceiling in disbelief.

“Steve - that’s amazing. But how -”

“Shhh - we’ll figure everything out later. But, let’s at least ring in the new year together, yeah?”

You nodded cautiously - he really was here, now, and wanted to make it work.

“Okay,” you said. “Sounds good.”

“Hey - you know what’s really pissing me off, though?”

“What?” you asked, wary as a pit of dread formed in your gut.

“I have to thank Eddie fucking Munson for fixing this.”

You laughed, a real, hearty laugh, and in that moment, you realized things were going to be okay.

******

That night, you slept better than you had in months, safe and warm in Steve’s arms. That was, until you woke to Robin’s scream the next morning, both of you shooting up in bed with a start.

“WHAT IS HE DOING IN YOUR BED?” she cried, shielding her eyes. “God - I wish I could bleach my eyes - motherfucker -”

Then, the door was slamming shut, Robin bemoaning her luck as she bolted down the hall to her own room.

You felt your face heat with embarrassment, sinking under the covers.

“Well - I guess I owe her an explanation -”

“Later,” Steve saidly, shaking his head incredulously. “For Christmas, I’m getting you a fucking industrial lock for that door!”

Then you were laughing, blissful and unable to control yourself, Steve joining you. He kissed the giggles away, pulling your body to his, and not much talking happened after that.

It didn’t matter what real life held after this - because Steve was here, and he was yours. Wherever you ended up, you realized, if you were with Steve, you would be home.

He was here to stay.

author's note: Hi y'all - thanks for your patience! This story isn't quite done - there will be an epilogue posted tomorrow. But, that's essentially the conclusion of don't call me 'baby' - I told you it would be a happy ending! Shoutout to @is-writing for some help with this. And of course as always, Em, without whom this fic wouldn't have happened. Comments, reblogs, and messages are always welcome - keep an eye out for the epilogue!

[daydreamwritting]

Hey, how are you? Did you drink water today? Go drink water! Alright not taking up too much time I hope! Can you do either Jasper Hale or Spencer Reid coming home to the reader having a nightmare and comforting them? Thank you for writing and posting!

This made me drink water so mission accomplished! This one took me a second but I’m really proud with how it turned out. Hope you enjoy!

“Pain.”

Those were the last words I heard before I felt like electricity was shooting through my entire body over and over again. Unfortunately, I don’t seem to have whatever Bella has to make her immune to some vampires gifts.

I looked over at Jasper, he was shouting something but I couldn’t hear anything as I tried to focus on anything but the pain. It felt so strong like something had ahold of me, as if it could pick me up off the ground like Darth Vader or something. Honestly, I’d take over this any day. Just as it felt like a string was wrapping around my heart and trying to squeeze till it bursts, I hit the hard tiled ground.

I wake with a gasp, my heart was racing so fast I’m not totally sure that I wasn’t having a heart attack. The room was dark, I couldn’t see anything. Was I dead? Is death just a dark empty space?

Before I could think about it any longer, light peeked into the room as the bedroom door opened. I felt a wave of calm overtake me as Jasper was at my side in an instant, pulling me close to him.

“Shhh. You’re alright, Darling.” He holds me as I slowly start to even out my breathing. “I’ll be right back okay?” Jasper said, looking at me concerned.

I don’t blame him, when the nightmares first started I refused to let him out of my sight for hours afterwards. I nodded my head and he was out of the room in a second. I turn on the bedside lamp and kicked the covers off of me. Jasper seemed to flash back into the room, only being gone for about 20 seconds or so. He had a glass of water and a wet wash cloth. I took the glass with a shaky hand and slowly sipped on it while Jasper wiped the sweat off my forehead and neck. The cold cloth felt good on my skin, like a fire being put out. He set the rag aside and walked across the room to open one of the windows, letting in the cool fresh air. I shivered slightly but welcomed the cold. Even during the summer, nights in Forks were overly chilly.

Jasper grabbed the now empty glass from my hand, putting it to the side as he joined me on the queen sized bed. “You know, I wouldn’t have gone through all the effort of putting a bed in here if I knew it was gonna cause you this much trouble.” He teased. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He always asks even though he knows the answer. “It’s the same as always, with the Volturi.” That day was nothing short of a disaster. It’s a miracle that we all walked out of that room.

“They should have never touched you.”

“Technically they didn’t.” I deadpanned. Jasper lightly pushed my face away from his.

“Don’t play smart with me missy. I should have taken out every single one of them the second they hurt you.” Jasper stared at me, with this look he gets every time he’s being serious.

“You would have lost.” I noted quietly, knowing he could hear me. There’s no way Edward, Alice, and Jasper could single handedly take down the most powerful vampires in the world and their guards.

Jasper chuckled and brought his cold hand up to caress my check, his thumb stroking my cheekbone. “Not when it comes to you.”

[bellewintersroe]

Another idea I would love to see you write (and it doesn't have to be NSFW if it makes you uncomfortable) is Malarkey, Babe, Chuck, Shifty, Winters (and anyone else you want to write) reactions to seeing all the various scars you received during the war for the first time. The scars can be wherever on the body you want to put them and the injuries that caused them can be different for each guy if you want; I will leave that to your creativity and discretion. I would just find it interesting to see how you think they'd react bc, while injuries during the war became probably a daily occurrence for the men that they've grown accustomed to, you're technically not a man and how could you have gotten hurt?

ugh I absolutely love this request it’s so creative, thank you sm!! I hope it’s what you were picturing, if not feel free to request another :) i’m comfortable writing NSFW but for this request I haven’t gone too crazy, but there is some mentions of potential smut? I can also understand how the topic of scars should be a TW- but no mentions of any self inflicted scars. Easy Boys reaction to seeing your scars:

Dick Winters:

I think he’d probably notice the small, circular scar on the back of your lower hip during seggsy time.

he wouldn’t point it out, seeing as that seemed rude and a bit off putting mid activity- especially seeing as it was one of the first times the two of you sleep together.

it’s afterwards that you’re cuddling when his hand travels down, “how did you get this?”

“oh, that scar?” You’d begin to laugh, leaving him a little confused. “Accidental cigarette burn from a guy I was treating in Normandy.”

Dick is a little confused, you seem so amused so he’s following along with a smile but it’s the most confusing thing ever.

what actually happened is pretty lighthearted, you were treating a wounded guy in the infirmary in Normandy, and well, his eyes were bandaged up and accidentally mistook you for the ash tray?

a pretty funny story, it burnt at the time, but you don’t mind the small scar, in fact it’s even amusing to you. Dick doesn’t notice it often, but when he remembers the story you told him he’d smile every single time he’d see it again.

Babe Heffron:

In Austria you’re wearing your summer uniform/ clothes, things are more relaxed, and so when your top falls down your collarbone the slightest bit, you don’t think anything of it.

“Wha- hey! How’d you get that?!” That was until a certain Babe Heffron chimed up, sounding overwhelmingly concerned, eyes focused on your upper chest.

“What?” At first you’d cover it up, unconsciously before even realising what he’d seen.

he’d hurry over, taking a peak to sigh with relief when he realised it was an older scar.

“Babe.” You’d grumble, pulling your top further up out of embarrassment.

“Oh, hey- no, don’t be upset, I was just worried thas all. It’s not everyday I see a lady with a scar, y’know.” His hand would smooth down your arm, worried he’d offended you, but he’s so sweet, how could you ever be upset at Babe?

“It’s from Bastogne, right?” Unlike the other men (apart from Gene) Babe would probably recognise where it was from.

“The bombing at the church, yeah.”

“I like it, looks cool.” He’d be so honest and genuine, at first I think you’d be a little shy, but Babe finds it so unique, and well- it makes you you.

the major downfall however is that you obviously got hurt, resulting in this scar. He can’t bare the idea of you hurt, it sends a chill through to his bone.

Chuck Grant:

Chuck is no stranger to scars especially after the war, so when he notices you’ve got a couple littered around your leg he doesn’t point them out due to knowing how sensitive that topic can be.

theyre white and faded now, only small, but I feel like Chuck would probably recognise they’re from Bastogne- like he’s seen the wounds the splintered trees cause, he figured it would be something like that.

in reality they were a present from Haguenau. An exploded building left your leg semi trapped, luckily not broke, but it hurt like a bitch and left you with the constant reminder of the pain.

You’d tell him one day after a shower, when you caught him looking at them. “I know they’re ugly.” You’d wince, conscious.

“Ugly? No, c’mere, babe.” He’d pull you into his lap, hand on your thigh as he kisses you so tenderly.

“Nothin’ about you could ever be ugly, doll.” Ugh he’d be sooo sweet and kind, reassuring you in the best way possible whilst accidentally seducing you.

Shifty Powers:

Too cute omg, he wouldn’t even really notice too much, I mean everybody has scars. You’d lay and night and he’d caress your skin, not caring if there was a scar or two littered around your shoulder.

“How’d ya’ get this?” He’d ask softly when the two of you were both falling asleep.

“Nothin’ exciting, I was playing around in the water when we were in Austria and caught my shoulder on the pier gettin’ out the water. I wish it was a better story.”

Shifty would find it so amusing because only you would wish you had a better story to tell about a scar. The rest on your body are from your childhood, Shifty would love hearing the stories that come along with each scar.

Eugene Roe:

Unlike some of the men I think Gene would’ve actually been there when you got injured.

you’re a woman, part of the medic team, a field nurse really which is attached to easy company, so you’re close to the men, especially Gene, throughout the war.

Gene would still remember vividly the day you got hit, how he failed to protect you, cover you. A sniper came out of nowhere, catching you in the shoulder. Gene can only imagine the bullet was meant for him and not you.

He’s the one that patched you up to the best of his abilities, it’s one thing treating a man, but to be treating a girl? Especially one he liked- well his hands were shaking and he was reassuring you non stop.

the scar left was only small, luckily there was no complications and you got lucky and could get back to work real quick.

Every time Eugene notices the scar it reminds him of what happened to you. At first he wouldn’t talk about it. Then, slowly you get it out of him and he’s so soft with you.

“I just don’t know what I woulda’ done.” He’d sigh, burrowing his face in your neck/ chest pressing kisses to your skin.

“Well you don’t have to think that, cos I’m still here with you now, Gene.”

Don Malarkey:

Don would actually notice the fresh scar on leg during Haguenau when you were rolling your socks up, he gets a peak at the flesh on your calf.

“Woah, that looks nasty, how’d you get that?” He comes and sits behind you, waiting for you to turn around.

“Fuckin’ tripped and fell, Malark. Out of everything that coulda happened to me I got this from falling over.”

Malark is more concerned about your wellbeing but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t break a smile.

“That’s just your luck.” He’d smile, rubbing your leg gently to check if it hurt. “You’re ok now though? So you don’t need carrying around everywhere?”

“I wouldn’t object to that…”

No but seriously, Don is a massive sweetheart, he probably would carry you around Austria just for the fun of it, he still blames it on your ‘cut leg’ that he needs to do that.

in reality he’s just flirting with you and knows it’s super easy for you to kiss him whilst he’s holding you like that.

Lewis Nixon:

“What’d you do?” He’d ask as soon as he saw it, running his hand back against your hair, revealing a kinda small scar placed near your hairline.

it’s early in the morning, the two of you are lounging in bed with a cup of tea or coffee, preparing to have a lazy day.

“Oh, it’s from running Currahee, I face-palmed the floor.”

“Ouch, what did Sobel say?”

“thank god he wasn’t there to see it. I got a matching one on my knee too, from the same fall.” You’d pull out your bare leg from the covers and he’d purposefully slide his hand up your thigh, then over the scar on your knee.

“Nice. Battle scars.” He smirked, teasing and pulling your leg over his to give him a cuddle.

[nights-at-crystarium]

Fragments - episodes 31-35 author notes

You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!

The chasm in their understanding of what makes Vivi tick.

The stakes in this scene seem low and the twins are just overdramatizing the danger for the sake of unwinding and being silly, right? Yesn't. One wrong move or word, and they join those leafmen scattered all over the place.

Finding the line between bad actor and caring sister.

Of course Alisaie wants to hang out with Vivi. She doesn't want to admit that to herself, let alone risk looking desperate in her brother's eyes. Tsundere moment. It's been a while since they've. Had a rest. Between rescuing Minfilia from Laxan Loft and making their way to Il Mheg. Alphinaud, at least in my hc, isn't as physically durable, but definitely as stubborn and proud as Alisaie, so he wouldn't simply agree to chill out for a moment. Alisaie makes him tunnel-vision her bad (?) acting and openly throwing the game for supposedly selfish reasons, while she gets what she wanted, AND forces Alphi to sit his ass down.

I’m sorry but I really need to point out that her ahoge did, in fact, launch into the stratosphere.

More under the cut~

....Can you blame her tho.

Vivi’s shirt’s a bit more plain than usual, he needed to wear something practical under his crystarium guard disguise in Laxan Loft.

The flashback in episodes 32-33 has no dialogue per se, only monologues, to emphasize how disconnected they are.

Technically both vivis are real, but Exarch’s memories are definitely heavily skewed. He’d only known Vivi during the CT quests, in this story it’s a month or two in summer, during which literally nothing bad happens, sans the finale. Alisaie, however, got lucky to experience Vivi during Stormblood, his absolute low.

Exarch and Alisaie sit on opposing sides of the bias, one wears pink glasses, delusional and bluepilled, the other one’s (heh) redpilled, perhaps a bit too much. Hence Alisaie feels the whiplash when her jerkass woobie friend suddenly acts mellow (back in the present), still she has the expertise to tell that he’s not affected by a fae spell or anything.

Full page because I’m so proud of the paneling here, simple as this trick is, these speech bubbles blocking Vivi from sight neatly illustrate that Alisaie just babbles away, paying no heed to his state.

With the power of flashbacks and stories told by one character to another, I’m able to revisit any moment in their past whenever I please. I didn’t commit to a linear story because there was no story! Well, just the outlines. Vivi as a character began in ShB because I really needed to fuck that old man, I started writing down the lil scenes loosely connected by the canon plot, and that’s how the whole concept of Fragments came to be.

It may not work for everyone, but my secret sauce’s that you don’t have to begin at the beginning. Make a guy, put him in a situation, then ask a lot of whys and hows to expand his story backward and forward.

Keeping the past events for later allows me to flesh things out at a leisurely pace. This Alisaie flashback is actually an iteration, originally I’d planned to have Vivi stand alone and just think the broody thoughts, and that was supposed to be the transition between ARR and ShB arcs. I grow more writing muscle as I go, and I’m infinitely happy that I avoided that angsty infodump.

Okay this’s becoming a big fat tangent, but I wanted to acknowledge another pitfall: overusing a character as a mere exposition tool. I wouldn’t do this for, say, Tataru or Y’shtola. Being THE flashback haver makes sense for Alisaie because a) they’re close with Vivi, b) her worldview and opinion on Vivi are changing in ShB, she’s a smart lil thing who would slow down and reflect when appropriate, c) she has a distinct arc in my comic, and knowing what’s going on inside that elf brain will give you the most entertainment out of her actions in the present moment.

I’m new to writing and very excited about the story that comes together as we speak, so I like to show around my kitchen. Please lemme know if you enjoy this. I don’t know if I’m parroting the boring 101s, or if this’s actually useful to someone.

“Meals made for me” YEA HE CAN’T COOK. Well, barely.

New sharp outfit, procured by our most magnanimous branch. The “tail” will help me draw the upcoming Titania fight, it adds fluidity to his movements.

*presses the upgrade button*

There's a lot happening in his head that's not being shown. I hope at least some readers wonder who or what he leaves behind in his mind's eye in this moment. What we know for sure is that he doesn’t take too long to make a decision.

Not sure if subtle, but I did try the breadcrumbing:

Unfortunately for everyone, including himself :’>

I love this one especially because, instead of telling that about himself, Vivi asks Ardbert, kinda gauging his wol experience against the other wol’s.

Episode 34 really shook people awake and reminded that we’re off the msq rails with this story. I loved the response it evoked in the tags, lots of thoughtful rambling about being a hero.

Fae temptation jokes and all, but Feo Ul really says what Vivi needs to say out loud to himself.

Normalize prioritizing self-care over world-saving.

Vivi genuinely cares about Feo Ul. That’s unusual. It might be my storytelling mistake that I didn’t show much of his typical indifference before this scene, unless you count the episodes where he does this

instead of hurrying the fuck up with the msq. Or, perhaps, it’s okay, since this gets plenty of attention later on. You won’t miss the fact that he isn’t eager to set himself on fire to keep others warm. Feo Ul just lucked their way into his heart, and, as a result, he approaches the Titania fight with unusual consideration.

/srs mode on ^

Remember how I just talked about developing this story in all directions at once? I planned Vivi to have this demeanor during the early days of writing Fragments. Like, most of the time. He’d be a broody bitch, get slowly thawed by Exarch’s kindness, and... That’d be it. In veeeeeery broad strokes, this’s still the case, but the current iteration has much more nuance.

Vivi and Titania’s likeness has no deep meaning, take it or leave it. Vivi cares about appearances, he was bound to notice this. Feo Ul can see souls, visuals are secondary to them. But Vivi, being himself, must doubt and question everything.

He moves fast and thinks a lot as the adrenaline speeds him up.

Notice how he lets Titania speak and remains quiet. This’s common in most fights: he doesn’t indulge with chats or banter those who he sees as mere targets to destroy. There’s like a point of no return, if an enemy poses no threat and can be talked out of dying, Vivi will speak, sadly he enters this fight knowing that Titania has to die no matter what.

Once he’s familiarized himself with the situation, and realized that Titania’s more than just a mindless husk, things change up a bit. But for now, he just runs in circles, analyzes the situation, and overthinks about their visual resemblance :’>

Sorry not sorry but unintentional reference x’DD

To be fair Vivi IS being a magical boy in this miniarc so this works lmao.

Wrapping up on this note, thanks for sticking with me and reading till the end~

[yanderecrazysie]

here me out yandere! erasermic with shy!reader who has tendency to have nightmares and doesnt sleep well-

[this has been on my mind like all week for some reason😭 but anyways have a great day/night and take as much time as you need/want its healthy for you!]

Just a little heads-up, I write multiple characters as working together and not as poly, so I hope that’s okay!!! You can technically think of it as poly if you want, since I’m not super specific on it lol.

And you have a great day/night as well!

Title: Circles

Pairings: Eraser Head/Aizawa Shouta x Reader; Present Mic x Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, drugging

Summary: Eraser Head and Present Mic’s new darling is adjusting well in every way except sleep. Is there a way they can finally give her the rest she needs?

“Sleeping peacefully

The girl I used to be

Until I fell so deep

A neverending tragedy.

You haunt me in my dreams

But it's all I want to see.”

-from “Circles” by KIRA

 You had been here nearly four months, and your sleeping had only grown worse.

It took forever for you to fall asleep and, whenever you did, your slumber was plagued with nightmares and heartbreaking memories that had you waking with a start and crying before you even opened your eyes.

 Your captors grew more and more stressed at the sight of you withering away from the lack of good sleep. The rings under your eyes were larger and darker than even Aizawa’s, and the sight alone had their stomachs twisting with worry.

“What do we do? Why won’t she go to sleep, Eraser?”

“It’s not just a matter of falling asleep, Mic, it’s a matter of staying asleep too.”

Your captors were kind throughout the months you’d been here, but they still terrified you. So many of your nightmares twisted their happy expressions into evil ones and used their soft voices to scream obscenities, until you awoke more afraid of them than on the day you’d been brought to the isolated cabin you resided in.

Not a single night went by without turning into a sleepless night or one packed full with night terrors. At this point, you were afraid to sleep. Afraid to see what your unconscious mind was ready to traumatize you with further the minute you successfully drifted away into dreamland.

Your captors were there for you as you fell asleep and whenever you awoke screaming and crying. You could see their faces lined with worry as they reassured you that you were safe. You welcomed the comfort, even if you knew you shouldn’t trust the people who kidnapped you.

One of them, the dark-haired one that the other called “Eraser”, seemed to understand your inability to sleep. Probably because he always looked so tired himself. He also spent the most time with you at night, pulling all-nighters sometimes to make sure you were okay. 

A strange part of you appreciated that.

“Summer break, finally! Now we can spend some time with our favorite listener!”

Your head perked up when you heard them both enter the house. You had learned that they both worked as teachers during the day, so they often had to be away from you… Was it really summer break already? Had you really been here long enough for school to let out?

Your blond captor, who the other called “Mic”, was much more energetic than his companion, and he quickly came running into the living room, searching for you. He beamed when he spotted you on the couch.

“(Y/n)! Let’s have a movie night!” He said, seeming very proud of himself for coming up with the idea.

“A movie night?” Eraser entered the living room after him, one eyebrow raised, “That doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

You agreed to it, even though you weren’t sure you had a choice in the first place. They were kind enough to let you pick your favorite movie, one neither of them had seen, and pop it into the DVD player.

With the lights off, your favorite movie playing, popcorn from Mic and soda filling your stomach, you weren’t too surprised that your eyes were beginning to droop. After days of barely getting any sleep at all, your body was finally at its limit and ready to give you what you truly needed.

You saw Mic give Eraser an excited look, which was returned with an indulgent smile (perhaps the happiest you’d ever seen Eraser). You couldn’t help but smile yourself a little, both in happiness and relief. You had a feeling there’d be no nightmares tonight.

You were sleeping peacefully between them on the couch long before your movie was over. The two were beyond glad that Mic had proposed a movie night, as it had done what they needed it to do and given their precious darling the gift of dreamless (and nightmare-less) sleep.

That, and the pills they slipped into your soda.

[oneforthemunny]

I loved the recommendations you did the other day for angst, and I was wondering if you could do a Springtime list? Of the stories set in the spring or that feel like spring? I am in love with your writing!

ooh i love this!!!

i actually don't know what i have specific specific dates? but i'll link the list that feels like spring :)

can't hurry love with older!dilf!eddie feels like spring. i think it might be loosely set in spring too??? i know i wrote it in spring, so maybe that's why.

also from older!dilf!eddie universe, you make loving fun feels very spring time. very lovey and sweet and established. idk for me, it just gives that time of year when i read it.

linger with rockstar!eddie reminds me of late spring but before summer. maybe treat me rough too??? more of that late spring vibe to it tho.

honeysuckle daydream with cowboy!eddie was both written in the spring and feels very springlike. everything, including the honeysuckle, blooming and every things warm but not hot and blooming and pretty.

technically, the jealousy blurb with cowboy!eddie would also be a spring time set blurb. it mentions the flower festival and jealousy.

with dom!eddie, i wrote most of these during the spring but switching it up feels the most spring like. maybe it's because the switch isn't dead but it bare, signaling it's getting close to bloom, but it feels spring to me.

some sunny day with janitor!eddie is actually set in late march/early april. very much so a sad, spring fic but spring.

doing a 180 with janitor!eddie, carry out feels like a spring kind of fic. when you're tired, hitting a lull with teaching and a little worn out with the pressure. upcoming state testing, summer's close but a million miles a way, but the kids are excited. stressed to say the least, and eddie wants to help.

shot through the heart with bouncer!eddie feels like spring break time to me. he gets the slot bc they haven't started summer festivities at the hideout, but it's busy bc the kids who didn't or couldn't go to spring break trips came home, ended up at the hideout.

certified lover boy with modern!eddie is a spring fic, or at least to me maybe bc that's when i wrote it haha. feels very light and silly and sunny like spring <3

honorable mention: hard learning with dom!steddie is a spring fic. spring break, to be exact, as mentioned in the fic lol.

[b3nnyrabb1t]

So there's this person on here @funnyshapedpuddles who did a "reblog with two or more fun facts about you and I'll give you a Sanders sides character" thing and I got Remus (understandably so) but I so. So. So badly want a thorough review from MORE fanders because suddenly I want a popular vote decision here.

SO

Fun facts about me are as follows (I'll start with the two I used for that person's post)

1. I spent around a year fixated on Jeffrey Dahmer in increments of 4ish months and 7-8ish months over the span of two years

2. I spent an entire total of over 24 hours tallying up how many new "Say No To This" bowigi videos I saw on tiktok when that was trending. I kept track by saving them all to a collection that has since been transformed into just bowigi stuff in general with most of the "say no to this" videos deleted (I kept the ones I liked most)

3. During that time period of my fixation on Jeffrey Dahmer I wrote not one, but two essays about him. Because I felt like it.

4 I named myself after a character from a Canadian show that aired on Disney in 2011-2012 called My Babysitter's A Vampire that also has a movie as the prequel (but I believe the movie did come out first so I think technically the show is a sequel/spin-off of the movie but wtv)

5 The last two summers (this one current and last year) I live(d) in a camper a few hundred feet from my house because I hate my grandfather and love being able to be independent while also having a stable fallback (like if it's too cold some night and I can just go into the house and sleep, or if I run out of my groceries in here)

6 I am a Scorpio.

7 The things I do most in the day are scroll Tumblr, scroll TikTok, and write porn with my best friend on Snapchat.

8 I dislike every pop tart except the cinnamon ones.

9 I own the Dan and Phil and Cats calendar and I cross off every day on it so I do not forget what day it is. It is the only calendar I have ever ACTUALLY used despite owning SEVERAL calendars that I picked out myself before. I have only ever actually used one. And it's Dan and Phil.

10 I spent somewhere between 45-55 dollars only on pink men's dress clothes then promptly actually cried when I put on an all-pink outfit and realized I did not have pink shoelaces, only purple. Even my socks had pink. My shoes did not.

11 pink is my favorite color as of literally the day I bought the dress clothes, which was 5 days ago as I write this (June 16th).

12 I saw a video on TikTok about a guy named Nik (judyhoppslovr69) being dead and promptly sobbed for two hours. It has been three days and he has revealed he is still alive. I cried seeing the video of him alive.

13 I dislike ever flavor of Gatorade except orange and lemon lime.

Thank you everyone for your cooperation.

Edit: please reblog for more traction and more votes. Thank youuu

[romancefranaticstay]

F⋆i⋆r⋆s⋆t⋆ ⋆s⋆i⋆g⋆h⋆t

This is comedy, drama, romantic serie

All members are included but its technically...

Hyunjin x reader

A new day, at a new school... In Korea. At the moment your life was upside down after the sudden decisions your parents made.

Your parents wanted to move to Korea, because it is a safe country, but they never thought about you. You knew how to speak the Korean language, okay, you know how to write it... but you had to leave everything you loved behind.

Your friends, your childhood...

It wasn't very easy to step in that airplane, it really wasn't. Your parents had to force you to go in that plane.

The worst thing first, you heard the Korean school system was pretty strict and there was a high percentage for bullying at those schools. You tried to mentally prepare yourself during the summer vacation, but there was only a week left.

Your uniform was at least decent....

To be honest, the schooluniform was pretty awesome. Because your old uniform was pretty... how an you say it... horrible... a crime towards fashion you might say.

You were actually the most scared of the students, because you were scared what they would think about you.. would they judge you because you weren't actually born in Korea? Would they judge you because you have (choose a country) roots?

Maybe they would be fascinated... yeah lets hope for the best you know!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

During the last week you tried to change yourself up a bit. And you also tried to think about other stuff in the mean time. It didn't really help the stress, but you could atleast try...

You had a lot of fun actually decorating your room. It was very cozy actually your new room, and you actually hope to get your 'k-drama' school life...(ofcourse that isn't going to happen... really not).

The last two days were actually pretty calm, your moods changed from time to time and you weren't really focusing on it. You were missing your friends back home, ofcourse you always could call them or chat with them, but its never going to be the same...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were laying in bed, staring towards your ceiling, and you were stressed out. Today was official your last day and tommorow was your first day. Actually you were stressed but also kind of exciting. A new school is always a bit exciting.

You went early to bed, you alreaddy packed your school supplies, you went to the hairsalon alreaddy, you did set a alarm for tommorow at 6 a.m. just to be sure,... you have done everything to be prepared for your big day...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*beep beep beep beep*

'Dammit.' you gasped, reaching out for your heart. You slammed on your clock to put it off. Ofcourse not slamming to hard, so it wouldn't break.

You weakly stood up and went towards the bathroom.

'I am a fricking mess.' you thought by yourself. You started to brush you teeth, to style your hair, to put some 'natural-girl' make-up on and ofcourse some earrings.

You went downstairs, greeting your parents and getting your lunchbox.

'I am going to head out.' you waved. 'Bye bye.'

You took your bike and started to drive off. Looking around, just fascinated about the surroundings. It felt off, to be here. You saw some other students on your way to your school. You also saw someone who immediatly caught your eye while passing by.

A boy with big plump lips, dark eyes, and black hair. His face was just, how could you describe it, lets just call it 'chefs-kiss'. His uniform was the same as yours. So that meant you went both to the same school. You hoped that you will see him at school frequently.

You walked inside and everyone stared at you. Nobody ever saw you at this school so it was pretty normal. You also weren't from Korea, maybe thats why.

You explored the school a bit, looking around, wandering behind people. There was a big library at the school, it was well organized and actually very quiet. I know you might say: your supossed to be silent in a library, but still. Not even a single word. You couldn't hear any whispers. It was a bit weird you thought.

The bell ringed and you first went to a secretary. Because how was you supossed to know were to go?

'Goodmorning miss, mine name is I/N Y/N. I am new at this school and i never got the information where classes are or where to go.'

'Oh sweetty, i will get you all the papers and someone to show you around. No worry's!'

'Thank you.' it was a very nice old lady behind the desk. She didn't seem very old but still.

You waited for maybe 2/3 minutes when she arrived with some papers.

'Here are your classes, the number of the classroom you can find next to your lectures. I will lead you towards your classroom, okay darling?'

you nodded. You followed her into a big hallway, with everywhere classes with learning students. They were very focused. You two walked a bit further until she stopped infront of a classroom. Classroom number 705.

She knocked two time's.

'Goodmorning, i've got a new student for you.'

'Ahh, welcome miss..' he looked towards a piece of paper 'I/N Y/N.'

'I will take care of her further.' the man said to the old lady.

'Could you introduce yourself to the classroom?'

'Mine name is I/N Y/N, like you all heard. I am sixteen, i just moved to Korea maybe two months ago.'

'You can take a seat at the back next to... Han Jisung.' he pointed towards a young student.

You seated yourself next to him. He was quite silent, even tho his face shined some kind of cozy, warm type of feeling out. He wasn't very talkactive at first, but when the teacher assigned you both to do some groupwork it was laughing, pointing and angry teacher.

It all started like this...

'Hey, mine name is Y/N, by the way.'

'Nice to meet you, mine name is Han.'

'Okay lets start with it! So what do we have to do?'

'Why are you looking at me? How am i supossed to know?'

'Look i am the new student here, i shouldn't be alreaddy in the end-zone.'

'I shouldn't either.'

'Lets just look what the others are doing will you?'

'Why are they mixing something together.'

'Because maybe this is science?'

'Oh yeah, thats right. How hard can it be?'

'Yeah actually, its just mixing some stuff together.'

'Okay lets just take this.' he had a cup of purple stuff in his hand.

'Why that?'

'Because the colors of the rest are like magnenta kind of color, so we will just mix purple and blue together.'

'Thats actually smart.'

(by the way, it wasn't right.)

'Okay so... uhmmm why is it boiling?' you asked.

'Uhmmm, this wasn't supossed to happen actually...'

'O my god, its rising.'

'Oh no no no no.'

'Lucky that we are in the back of the class.'

'O no noo noo, it doesn't stop rising.'

'Oh no no no no, what are we going to do?'

'I don't know, how am i supossed to know?!'

'Why don't you know anything?'

'Wait i have a idea, just pour it out in the sink next to use.'

'You sure?'

'Yeah, yeah just do it.'

you poured it out in the sink and... nothing happend. Strange...

'You smart-pants, nothing happend.'

'See, mister smart to your service.'

you both laughed.

'You know, because you are new, we are officially now friends.'

'Thats cool.'

'So i will introduce you to mine friendgroup if you don't might.'

'Why would i?'

'They are kinda hyper-active, you know?'

'Thats okay.'

'You sure?'

'Yeah yeah.'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You both were walking out of the class, talking and gossiping about your class-students. You two really had a connection. You both also were very loud so those students alreaddy knew you talked about them.

You saw a bench full of boys. They alreaddy turned their heads when they heard you both laughing and shouting loud. Han waved towards them from a distance. You saw a familiar face...

'Hey whatsupp guys, this is Y/N.'

'Hey.'

'Whatsupp.'

'Hello.'

'Hi-i.'

'Hey Y/N.'

'Hi.'

'Mhm.'

You felt someone staring at your body. Suddenly you locked eyes with that boy, that boy you saw on your bike.

'This are Seugmin, Bangchan, Changbin, Lee Know, Felix, Jeongin and Hyunjin.'

... His name was Hyunjin.

'Nice to meet you all.'

'So you are the new student?' Changbin asked.

'Yeah, i am.'

'So are you single?'

'I am a single pringle, indeed.'

'Your funny.' Felix smirked.

'I know.'

'Aahaaa, i know, you know, Lee Know!' Han shouted.

They all laughed but suddenly Lee Know stood up and he ran after Han.

'Oh no, here we go again.'

'What are they doing?'

'Yeah something with tissue's.'

You saw Han running away from Lee Know but Han tripped and fall into the grass. He pinned him down into the grass and putted tissue's in his mouth.

'Very interesting.'

'Its his habit.' Hyunjin said to you.

'Are they a couple?' you whispered towards him.

'They never admit it, but i think they are.'

you both giggled.

Lee Know helped Han to get up from the grass. Their hands interwining with eachother. They are very suspicious to be honest.

'Sorry for that.' Han came running towards you.

'It was funny.'

'Finally someone who finds it funny.' Lee Know commented.

Everyone started to talk about different thema's. Some were talking about their teachers and some about random stuff they saw online. You were just sitting there, next to Hyunjin. The bench was very comfortable. And the sky looked very bright today. You were observing other students when Hyunjin tapped on your shoulder.

'I forgot to ask, could i show you around maybe?'

'Oww, yeah sure, why not.' you smiled.

You both got up and started to walk around, you two, alone, without the others...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'These are the girlsbathroom they are very neat. Don't try to hide in here when you try to skip class. They get checked frequently.'

'Good to know.'

you two walked further.

'And here is a 'secret' room.'

'If its that secret, how come you know it?'

'All the students know about this room.'

'Really how come?'

Hyunjin cheeks turned bright red.

'Its... its just a place were.' he went silent 'were, couples like... you know.'

'No i don't know.' you smirked.

'Were couples can be alone.'

'Never heard of such place's in schools.'

'Really?'

'Yeah in mine school, you just had the bathrooms.'

'The bathrooms?! Ewww.'

'I know, its disgusting.'

'Are you familliar with that concept?'

'You mean.... umm even tho its normal for teenagers... i never really had interest in that stuff... you know?'

'Yeah yeah, i understand, but why?'

'I just want to save myself for that one person.'

'I understand, you have an idea who that one person might be?'

'I don't know, but i don't want to waste myself before i met him or maybe her, you never know.'

'Yeah, you never know.'

You both smiled weakly at eachother.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HIS POV

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I totally embarassed myself, why dammit why would i start a conversation about that kind of concept? What is wrong with me? You know just be calm, be calm, okay its just a girl.

Just a girl...

'So you like the school alreaddy?'

'Yeah its cool.'

'Cool.'

Do not ask it Hyunjin, don't you dare... don't do it, don't do it.

'So are you single?'

Dammit dammit dammit.

'What?'

'I mean, you like jingle? Like christmas jingle?'

Smooth dumbass.

'Yeah, i love christmas.'

'Me to! I love the winter.'

'Me to! Wow, you know what i love the most about Christmas?'

'What?'

'The decoration, its just so warm and cozy. Just make's me feel warm.'

'The films are also great don't you think?'

'Yeah ofcourse also the films and also the food.'

'You can't forget about the food, can't you.'

'Everything about Christmas is beautifull you know?'

'What is that noise?' she asked.

O dammit, i swear if Changbin followed use...

'I really don't know.'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

YOUR POV AGAIN

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You saw the boy named Changbin running towards you both.

'What are you two up to?'

'We litterly saw you 5 minutes ago.' Hyunjin said.

His arms were around yours and his shoulders. Hyunjin gave him a side-eye.

'Stop leaning on me-eeee.'

'StOp LeAnInG oN mE-eEeEe.'

'I don't find it funny.'

'You never searched for it.'

'Clever.'

'As always.'

The bell finally ringed. The bell almost gave you a heartattack but it was worth it.

'Yeah, i am going to mine class. Bye!'

'Do i need to bring you there?' Hyunjin asked.

'No worry's, i will find mine way.'

'Oh okay.'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HIS POV

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah i messed up. I am not sure, but problably. She thinks i am weird, i feel it. I feel the spirit.

'So you like her don't you?'

'What?'

'I see the way you looking at her.'

'Is that all your basing on?'

'Thats all i need to base on.'

'Okay small-bean.'

'STOPPPP calling me short.'

'Awww, StOpPpp cAlLiNg mE sHoRt.'

i started to pinch him.

'Awaaaa, stop pinching me.'

'AwAaAa sToP PiNcHiNg mE.'

'Not funny.'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I cannot stop thinking about her. Girls around me try to get mine attention by asking for stuff. Asking for help during art class. Trying to play with mine hair.

I don't understand, why i cannot get her out of mine head. I just met her. Her face is adorable and her little hands compared to mine. I want to hold them forever. I want to hold her face between mine thumbs. I want to feel her waist, i want... i want... i want her. With me, here.

'Hyunjinnniee, can you please help me with this painting.'

'You are so tall Hyunjinniee.'

'Please help me.'

It annoys me, i do not want all those girls, i just want her. Here with me. Is that to much to ask?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your POV

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Y/N?'

'Y/N?'

'Y/N?!'

'Huh what?'

'Whats the answer to question number four?'

'Shouldn't you try it yourself?'

'I tried like 20 times, but math just isn't mathing.'

'I came out 20.34'

'How did you- how?! I came out 18839.93.'

'How is that even possible?!'

'I don't know ask mine calculator?!'

'Just write off mine paper, here.'

You gave him your paper with all the answers alreaddy.

'Thank youuuuu.'

'Your welcomeeee.'

You couldn't stop thinking about Hyunjin, it was very strange. You just cannot imagine a life without him right now. Maybe thats a bit over dramatic. You only knew him shortly, so how is that even possible.

'Psst.'

You turned around and came eye to eye, to a very cute boy.

'Yes?'

'Could i borrow a pencil?'

'Sure, here.'

you gave him a pencil from your pencilcase.

'What is your name by the way.' you asked.

'Mine name is Min Yoongi and yours is...'

'Y/N, Y/N I/N.'

'Cool name.'

'Thanks, mine parents picked it for me.'

you both laughed.

You two started to have a deep conversation, about all sorts of things. He was very interesting. He never seem to be understood by the students around the campus. His story's made your heart sink and fall over again. He told about his passion about writing music, also about his friends, and funny enough, he could passiontly talk about sleeping.

After hours of talking you could tell he really liked sleeping. He liked sleeping so much, he could just stay in bed for hours. Even tho it isn't that healthy.

'You are a very interesting person Yoongi.'

'Thank you.' he blushed.

'We really should hang-out sometime's.' he proposed.

'That sounds wonderfull.'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AUTHORS POV

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hyunjin saw both of you smiling and talking together. His heart sank towards the ground. He never felt such a pain which wasn't physically. It was another sort of pain.

He went home with a broken-heart, even tho he didn't know you felt the same for him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part 2 coming soon

xoxo

Rachel

[myangelhaven]

This is my recommendations of BANGCHAN fics! It will be updated once in a while for new stories I have read. Hopefully the links work (lemme know if it doesn't)

Credits to the authors!! All informations written are taken from the authors' post and has not been modified. Reminder that some fics are NOT for minors, so please read the key and avoid 18+ contents.

HAPPY READING!!

KEY

[❀]: fluff [𖦹]: humour [𖤓]: angst [☄]: sad [☾]:smut [⟡]:smau [✮]: my favs

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖✮----------BANGCHAN-----------✮˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

SERIES

Behind the lense @jonespicy [❀][☾][⟡][onlyfansau] 21 parts

Life doesn't come easy by any means. Ups and downs around every corner. But you can relieve the wait of it bit by bit. Though some secrets are best kept as such, until they come crashing down.

All about you by @zoe8stay [❀][𖤓][⟡][soulmateau] 22 parts NEW

you've always wanted to meet your soulmate but after finding the person who you thought was the love of your life it didn't matter who your soulmate really was anymore...or did it?

Not a romcom by @il-i-sam [❀][𖤓][⟡][online bff2e][e2l] 24 parts NEW

Bang Chan is the leader of the local group skz. He has a lot of things on his plate but there's a thing that always seems to calm him down: his online friend. Chan doesn't know if y/n is her real name or not, he hasn't seen her face, and doesn't even know where she's from, but he doesn't care. Deep down, he loves her. And he's sure about it. But... what happens when y/n and Bang Chan find out that the person they have been texting for months... it's the person they hate the most in the whole campus?

Face the music by @0x1lovebot [❀][𖤓][⟡] 37 parts

y/n runs an anonymous twitter fan account for the famous rap trio that goes to her school, 3racha and one day she professes her love and appreciation for bang chan on said account. now chan is on a mission to find out who it is.

Technical Difficulties by @ahgastae [⟡][e2l] 44 parts

When Y/N finds a lost phone during her shift at a local cafe, she only intends to keep it safe until its owner comes back to claim it. Unfortunately, the phone’s owner doesn’t know about her good intentions. And when he starts texting his own phone, insulting both her and the cafe she’s come to hold so dear, she decides being a good samaritan is a lot less fun than teaching this prick a lesson.

Lover of mine by @sulfurcosmos [❀][𖤓][⟡][slowburn] 48 parts

she doesn’t hate him, she just... doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore. “it’s bad for my heart”, she claims. and she succeeds for a whole year until her clown of a friend felix, decides to take up music production as a summer extra credit unit knowing absolutely nothing about writing lyrics or composing. now who else to ask for help other than a creative writing major who specialises in poetry, and the best music production student on campus?

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄more to come!⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄

☆--------Chan's masterlist || skz masterlist---------☆

[rickie-the-storyteller]

Meet the Writer Tag!

(Thank you so much to @mysticstarlightduck for tagging me! Sorry I took so long lol)

This is me!

(I don't normally wear this many accessories/jewellery lol. But I wish I did! I love it sm)

Three Fun Facts About Me:

I have never been in a relationship before. Ever. The only experience I have in that department is through other people's stories, not really my own. And by that, I mean that I'm used to watching my friends/people around me getting in and out of relationships, and listening to songs about romance and love and heartbreak... but not really relating to them due to not having any of those experiences myself (but it's alright, tho. It'll happen when it happens! In the meantime, I always have my made-up ships from my writing lol).

My favourite book growing up was "Matilda" by Roald Dahl. I thought Matilda was such a cool girl growing up lol. And lowkey relatable in a lot of ways. No, I wasn't a child genius. But she kind of fits into the archetype that I always found comfort in due to being that kind of person myself. Smart/intellectually curious, bookworm, introverted/independent, genuinely kind and has a heart in spite of being seen as cold by others (another example of this is Huey from Boondocks. Been rewatching some episodes of that show recently and wow... forgot how crazy it was lol. It's good, tho).

Christmas is my favourite holiday! 🎅❄️🎄I do get why some people may dislike it, I guess (like, my younger sister isn't a fan, and she's explained why... I get it. The over-commercialisation of it takes a lot of the "specialness" out of it, you know? Distracts from the actual meaning behind it and all. Plus, it can suck if you're just feeling sad and lonely during a time of celebration for everyone else. Aside from that, technically Easter is more significant if you look at it from the lens of which Christian holiday is most important). But I love the joyfulness and festiveness. Makes me feel all jolly and cosy inside. Plus, I love singing Christmas carols. And presents. And Christmas movies. I just love Christmas lol.

Favorite season:

Autumn. Or fall, as some others prefer to call it. That's when my birthday is!!

(Second place is summer because that's holiday season. Plus, that's when my sister's birthday is.)

Continent where I live:

I live in the UK, so Europe.

How I spend my (free) time:

Writing (duh)

Writeblr stuff (tag games, making OC playlists, answering questions, communicating with followers and having discussions with them about writing, etc)

YouTube (mainly watching videos... but I do want to start making videos myself at some point. Stay tuned for that, I guess)

Studying/school assignments (I'm in university)

Listening to music

Singing

Watching movies/TV shows

Reading

Eating lol

Are you published?

No. It'd be cool to be, though. Pretty sure I've mentioned this at least once before, but I want to self-publish the Stephanie Smith saga once I'm done with it.

Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert. 100% introvert lol. I feel most comfortable within myself when I'm by myself. As a kid, I was so painfully shy that the thought of going up to someone and asking a simple question would terrify me lol. As I got older, though, I was super duper lonely, and I realised that I had no real friends because I was keeping myself all closed off in a tight shell, so I'd literally force myself to open up and become more social and make friends with other kids. I practised it, like how you do with any skill. Now it's not so bad. I'd say I can carry a conversation with someone fairly well, even if I don't know them so well.

Favorite meal:

Ooooh.... this is hard. I love most foods lol.

I think I'll go with something a little bit more traditional. I'm Kenyan, and one of my favourite meals that I've grown up eating is chapatti and stew (any kind of stew, or soup. But my mum would usually make this stew with kidney beans. That was a big hit growing up). Haven't had it in almost a year, tho.

Aside from that, I love pizza. And Nandos.

Tagging: @clairelsonao3, @exquisitecrow, @mister-writes, @winterandwords, @mjparkerwriting, @e-everlasting-g, @erieautumnskies, @annethewittywriter, @writingwithfolklore, @ashwithapen

[somewhereinthepines]

a/n: i’m cleaning up my writing files atm, and i found this lil thing. it was supposed to be a full-blown oneshot pwp, but idk if i will return to it like ever. to this set-up in particular, i mean. i might, but also not sure. so here as far as i’ve got with it. technically speaking, this can be considered an AU. ryan is around 23-24 in this fic. chris is 48. the rest of the counsellors are also older. and basically, ryan and chris both have tattoos in this fic, and pretty much look like their concept art versions. that’s the only time, when ryan is allowed to look cool. ever. 

and as to why jacob happens to be here…well, idk. he just is. 

either way, the pair is chris/ryan, there are hints of slight mature themes, but it never got past it lol. also i didn't re-read it, so if there are mistakes, so sorry.

————–

Emma was a freaking tease. Jacob knew it already. Knew it from the get-go, but he couldn’t help himself. He truly couldn’t. He was always getting frustrated with the way she taunted him. Giving him an inch, only for him to make it into a mile. 

Sure, it was part of the deal and they weren’t even dating, but deep down, he dared to hope for something more intimate, than a quickie and promise of maybe, maybe not doing it again. 

It was fun, of course. The things, that they did. Em had a fantastic body and she was more experienced, than most girls he was with before. Yet, it’s where she seemingly drew the line. She wouldn’t allow him to kiss her in public or even throw an arm around her shoulder. 

She resisted anything, that had something to do with them getting committed to one another, and despite how he should have been ‘respectful’ toward her wishes, it still managed to upset him. 

He naively thought, that they kinda had, you know, something special, maybe? A summer flick can grow past just a little crush, no one forbidden it to. 

But she was having none of that. 

She refused to give him any chance to actually show her, that he was pretty serious about making her his girlfriend. It seemed like she didn’t believe him. But Jacob was a stubborn guy, and he kept on telling himself, that he just needs to work harder to win her over. After all, Em was the girl of his dreams. Pretty, witty, and hot as hell. What is there not to want? He just had to try harder to make her see things his way!  

The only problem was, though, that he had no idea how to go about it. He only had one girlfriend before, and even then, she dumped him, because he wasn’t ‘sensitive enough’ for her or whatever. 

Jacob was pretty helpless, when it came to deciphering women's psychology. 

He could always ask Kaitlyn’s opinion on the matter, but she would make fun of him, abusing the boundaries of their friendship for her own amusement. And even if she would have been willing to actually help him, she wasn’t the most girly girl on the block. How would she know what Em might like? And Abi, well, yeah no. He doubts, that she will be of any help, either. She didn’t strike him as someone, who was on the same level as Emma. 

So with all those names crossed out, unfortunately, it left him only with one option. Not the best one. But who else was he going to ask for dating advice? Mister H? 

No, it was out of the question. He won’t ask some old dude, who clearly wasn’t doing anything sexual for years. Jacob needed a more ref-reshed opinion. Such as Nick or Dylan. They’d be able to help. 

For that, he smartly picked the time, when he had two of them in one place. During the breakfast, when everyone was way too sleepy to be smarasses and when, Emma was sitting out of ear-shot. 

It was perfect timing for sure. 

As soon as he was mentally ready, he blurted out, loud enough only for his buds to hear, “What should I do?” 

Dylan and Nick paused their heated discussion about some music band to throw weirded out looks at him. Ryan, on other hand, barely glanced at Jacob, pretty soon returning to poking at his food, like nothing had happened. He looked like he was still half-asleep. But Jacob couldn’t care less about that dude at the moment. 

“What?” Nick blinked, seemingly not following. 

“Yeah, what do you mean?” Dylan asked, leaning on the table, vaguely intrigued. “Did I miss something?” 

“It’s about –” Jacob couldn’t hold back an embarrassed, sheepish smile, that crawled on his lips. “Em.” 

“Oh…right, of course it is.” Dylan immediately looked bored, as if someone had flipped a switch inside his head. “It’s always about her with you, huh?” 

“Wh – no, it’s not!” 

“Yes, it is.” Dylan drawled out, eyes hooded and flat. “Oh Romeo, where is my Romeo?” 

“Did she dump you or something?” Nick chimed in, pushing a piece of broccoli inside his mouth. He was faintly smirking at angried look on Jacob’s face. “About the damn time. The summer is getting close to an end. It’s time to lose some extra weight.”

“Sick burn, man.” 

“I’m serious!” Jacob whispered-shouted, which only resulted in more recondited mockery. “I’ve – I’m asking you to help me!” 

“So she did dump you, then?”

Dylan snorted. Nick was openly smiling now. And Ryan just continued looking like he was pretty much out of it. 

“What? No. No!” Jacob shot back, glaring at them. “Don’t say that, man!”

“Why not? It’s not like she’s gonna date you outside of – umm – y’know, work and all.” Dylan supplied, getting an approving leer from Nick. “Summer affairs tend to be short-lived.” 

“Yeah, what he said.” Nick supported, mouthing another piece of his breakfast. “You win some, you lose some.” 

Jacob frowned, slowly getting frustrated with them. Those two fuckers were always ganging up on him, when it came to Em. But it wasn’t like he had much choice. He couldn’t figure it out on his own. He needed their help. Whether he wanted it or not. 

“I’m serious, dudesss.” Jacob said in a quieter, whiner voice. “I need some – uh, advice? Like pretty please?” 

“Like as in dating advice?” Dylan made a confused face. “From…us?” 

“How desperate are you?” Nick injected, also looking surprised. 

“I don’t know…very desperate?” Jacob offered, seeing a small shift in their behavior. “If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have been asking.” 

“So you want us to help you to make Em like you again?” Dylan asked, rubbing his jaw, like he wasn’t too sure about his own wording. “Like make her get swayed by you?” 

Jacob nodded his head. “Ah, yeah. Yeeeah. I mean. Kind of?” 

“For real?” 

“Yes. Fucking damn it.” he was getting pretty angry here. “How many times do I need to repeat it?” 

Nick sighed, putting his cheek in the hollow of his palm, eyes skipping to the other end of the hall, where Emma chatted with Abi. She was fully oblivious about what they were discussing just a few feet away. Dylan looked into that direction too, humming. To their credit, they both actually seemed somewhat thoughtful now. 

“Well?” 

“I dunno, dude. Didn’t you try to like — aw fuck, I don’t know.” Dylan turned back to him. “Nick, what you’ve got? You’ve gotta have something, right?” 

Nick responded with an indifferent shrug. “Not really. I mean, did you try to do something romantic for her? Like take her to some pretty place?” 

Jacob did nothing of the kind, but this got his attention. “A pretty place? In here?” 

“Where else?” Nick said, playfully raising both of his brows up. “The town doesn’t actually have anything cool in it. And in nature…” 

“You can fuck in nature.” Dylan injected, seemingly proud of his sudden resolution “Do it the forest people style.” 

“Get it going in the bushes?” Jacob honestly thought, that they must be joking. Em would never agree to this kind of stuff. “That’s not serious, guys.” 

“Why not? You can go skinny dipping.” 

“Or you can stage it like you will.” 

“Oh.” 

Now, this was an idea. 

Jacob nodded, considering it. “Okay, okaaay. Continue.” 

“You, her aaand –” 

Dylan and Nick exchanged looks, and smiled at one another, as if knowing something, that he didn’t. 

“And?” Jacob urged, leaning over the table. “And what?” 

“And a private, secluded place. This is what you need.” Nick finished, while Dylan nodded, getting a sip of his coffee. “This will get the ball rolling.” 

“Yeah, you can surprise her and then, get some or whatever.” 

Jacob glanced at Em’s direction. Maybe, this indeed was what he needed. They don’t even had to have sex, maybe just talk about things, where no one can budge in. In the end, he just wanted to make her give him a chance. A real one. And if they’d be alone and she’ll see that he was honestly trying…this should sway her judgment, right? 

But it brings him back to another issue. 

“And where such a place might be?” 

“Uhhhh…well. I don’t know.” Nick answered, unbothered by Jacob’s fallen expression. “Somewhere?” 

“Oh come on, dude!” Jacob whined. “Don’t do this to me!” 

Nick’s state remained neutral, and Jacob started getting real worried here, but then – 

“Maybe, you should ask Ryan.” Dylan offered, pointing his fork at Mister Gloom-Doom, who barely flinched at the notion. “He knows the area better, than any of us.” 

“Yeah, that’s a good idea, actually. Ask him.” Nick murmured, getting back to his food. “Mister H probably showed him around a lot.” 

This was a good point, but it was Ryan, they were talking about. And if there was something, that everybody around here knew, it was that he and Jacob weren’t really getting along well. 

“I don’t think, that he can be –” 

“He sits right here, just ask him, geez.” Nick urged, before starting chewing on his bacon. 

Jacob looked at Ryan, and the other guy looked back at him. “So, Ryan…do you know such a place? For me and Em, I mean.”

The other teen didn’t respond. He didn’t even blink. Expression so-ever blank, the dark eyes slightly lidded. Always unimpressed and uninterested by anything or anyone. Jacob already wanted to punch him in the face. It was almost like an itch under his skin. 

“You’ve been here a lot, so –” 

“I’m not going to help you, dude.” 

He didn’t even hesitate or stammer when he said it. The asshole didn’t so much as bait an eyelid even. And while, Jacob expected it, this did nothing to prevent his temper from rising. Ryan really did pissed him off sometimes.  

“Wow, who would have thought.” Jacob bit back, childishly offended. “I mean, daaaamn. You can’t really contribute to anything, unless it’s a – let’s see, a discussion about how to deepthroat Mister H’s dick. Now, this would have been your field of knowledge, I’d imagine.” 

Dylan made a weird noise, that could have been a poorly stifled giggle, while Nick openly sniggered into his fist, masking it into a low cough. They both did a piss poor job of hiding their amusement. But Ryan himself barely raised a brow at him. 

“Nice one, Jacob.” Ryan deadpanned, taking a bite of his omelet. “I’m never going to recover from it.” 

“I’ll bet, that Mister H is into some kinky shit.” Dylan suggested. “Like some real dirty stuff.” 

“You, mean like an old pervert kind of shit?” Nick joined in, all too happy to spread rumors about their boss. “Roleplay? Or wait, the better yet. Underground BDSM club?” 

“Can you picture it?” Dylan laughed under his breath. “Mister H in leather?” 

“With some kind of torture thing.” 

“Like a paddle.” 

“Or a whip.” 

They could only hold themselves back so much, before they started laughing. Nick nearly choked on the last piece of his bacon. 

“Hey guys, can we please focus on me?” Jacob asked over their laughter, but was ignored. 

“He’s not into weird shit.” Ryan put his own two cents in, for once, looking somewhat annoyed. He always got all bristly and pissy, when they shit-talked his precious camp leader. It was almost like he cared about what they said about Mister Hackett way more, than what they said about Ryan himself. 

So typical for that guy. 

“Oh come on, Ryan. We’re just joking.” 

“Yeah, man. Chill.” 

“He can’t chill, though.” 

Everyone at the table looked up at him. The dramatic pause worked as a charm. 

If you can’t fight them, join them. 

“It gives him flashbacks.” Jacob said with a toothy smile, enjoying how Ryan’s hold on the fork tightened up as if on reflex. “Does he put you over his knee, when you’re being a bad boy, Ryan?” 

“Har-har.” Ryan narrowed his eyes. “Very funny, Jacob.” 

“What, I am just asking, man.” Jacob replied back, a smile still present on his face. “I mean, do you call him daddy? Or pappi? You look like you’d be into that!” 

Ryan’s eyes narrowed. “Are you done yet?” 

Jacob pretended to think. “Yeeeah, no wait. Wait. One last thing. Daddy Hackett.” 

This managed to send both Nick and Dylan into an absolute frenzy, they were openly laughing now, creating all kinds of rackets around the table. The other counselors and kids were glancing their way. But Jacob’s own attention was focused on Mister-Bitch-Resting-Face. He wouldn’t miss it for the world. The rare chance to see, Ryan actually losing even an inch of his cool. 

“So which one is it? You can tell us, we won’t judge!” 

“You really hang up on it, aren’t you?” 

“I don’t know.” Jacob shrugged. “What’s your favorite pose, by the way? Doggy style?” 

This finally hit the nail. Ryan’s breath hitched. His posture went rigid. And while one might mistake it for a sign of repressed anger, Jacob noticed how jerked his throat, and how quickly he went from tense to huddled, and oddly pissy, but in a very passive-aggressive way. 

Jacob had irked him for real this time. And he wasn’t about to stop. Fuck no. Why should he? Mister H’s personal Golden Boy deserved to be knocked down a peg. 

“Nothing to say for yourself, Erzahler?” 

He was anticipating his response. He waited for some sort of comeback or maybe, even something being thrown into his face. But in a second, all the pent-up energy seemingly left Ryan’s body, and his expression went back to being placid and bored. 

“Fuck off.” Ryan muttered, looking away. Defeated. 

“Awww…” Jacob coed. “Poor Ryan had –” 

“Hey, what’s going on over there?” 

Ahhh, fuck. 

He cringed, and turned over his shoulder to reassure Mister H, who was now glaring at them like a hawk. Sometimes, Jacob forgot that he was there during the morning hours too. “Nothing! It’s nothing!” 

“Nothing?” the older man’s face told him, that he wasn’t buying into Jacob’s bullshit. “It doesn’t look like nothing to me. What’s so funny, anyways?” 

“Ahh, it’s – no, really! That’s ahhh – that’s nothing, really!” Jacob waved his hand, hoping that it would pacify the other, and make the crowd stop eyeing him. Even Em was staring at him, slightly raising her brow. “This is just –” 

“Yeah, it’s nothing, Mister H.” 

Jacob paused, side-glancing at Ryan, genuinely taken aback. Not expecting him to come to Jacob’s aid, out of all people. But then, he noticed how there was a hint of light smirk on Ryan’s lips, and he immediately knew that it wasn’t anything good. Ryan might have told his jokes with a straight face, making people wonder if it was a joke at all. But he could deliver the punchline, if he really wanted to. 

“He just can’t count past forty five.” 

Some people started to laugh. Nick and Dylan laughed at this as well, not caring who was the target of their shared finger-poking. They seemed to love taking piss at everyone, really. 

“That’s –” Jacob felt his face flush with embarrassment. “That’s not true!” 

“Yeah, he slowly gets over forty six, though.” Ryan added, looking straight at him. “It’s very challenging.” 

“Fuck you!” Jacob quietly hissed, kicking Ryan into the shin under the table. Something had flashed through the other teen’s face then, and he kicked him right back. Jacob barely managed to bite back a painted groan. Ryan’s boots had a pretty heavy sole. “Ow, why you…” 

“Hope, that you like it.” 

“What?” Jacob raised his eyes and met that unbanished expression directly, and damn, he wanted to fucking throttle that prick. 

“Hey! HEY!” Mister H called out, getting up from his own seat. “Don’t make me go there, Custos!”

“What!?” he blinked, taken aback by such plain side-picking. “What did I do? Ryan is –” 

“I told you to knock it off, pal.” the older man warned him, tone serious and expression even more hardened. “I’m not jokin’ with ya. Don’t start something, that ya can't finish.” 

“But I –” 

“Calm yourself down. Now.” Mister H told him, like one would a disobedient dog and it was pretty much over, after that. At this point, it was pretty useless to try and defend himself, so he just sank back into his seat, throwing Ryan a dirty look. The other kid just scoffed at him, drawing his legs closer to the bench, and going back to straight up ignoring him. 

Fucking asshole. 

Mister H never got angry at Ryan. As if he was automatically blameless, and never guilty of anything. It got under Jacob’s skin at times. Just how easy it was for Ryan to mislead people with his quiet and usually non-conflicting persona. It’s like they literally believed, that he was any better, than an average man of their age. When he wasn’t. 

At least, Jacob wasn’t buying into that shit. There was just something very off about Ryan. Something, that made it hard to like him, but very easy to want to mess with him. He could never understand why Kaitlyn kind of liked the creep, when he didn’t even looked her way. 

But eventually, it all was sort of forgotten and Jacob went back to focusing on more important tasks such as getting Em see a real dating material in him. It was more urgent, than focusing on Ryan and how he got it all so ever easy. Besides, this plan might just work. 

Jacob felt good about this one. Real good. 

It should work out just fiiine. 

=====

It didn’t work out fine. Half-way through, he had already started suspecting that something was off. Nick and Dylan told him, that they had told Em, that Jacob told them to ask her if she would like to accompany him tonight. And then, as a final piece of their strange story, they told him, that she said yes. 

Dumbly and blindly, he had trusted their word. He went to the spot, where he was supposed to meet Emma. But it was becoming less and less likely, that she’d come. They said, that Em wanted to meet him on the Island, in the evening, when most of the counselors and campers will be getting ready for the night. But Jacob was yet to find any sign of her. Was she running later or…? 

Annoyed, he looked around, finding nothing, but well, the old boathouse. Nothing out of the ordinary. And Em was nowhere to be seen. 

Part of him suspected, that it might be a ruse. It won’t be the first time, when Nick and Dylan would use his affection for Emma to make a fool out of him. And it most likely won’t be the last. They still had a few weeks of summer left. 

Jacob re-adjusted his cap, looking up at the darkening sky. 

“Ahh, damn it…” 

The time was really running out for him, wasn’t it? 

But – 

But maybe, she was simply being fashionably late. Girls love to do this kind of thing. 

Not knowing if this all was for real or not, if Emma was still coming or not, he decided to wait it out in the boathouse. He might as well, see if she would be heading here from the higher point of the Island, rather than sulking on the bridge. 

“Okay, Jacob. Gotta wait for her a bit longer, I guess.” he told himself, filling the silence with his own voice, just to not let the anxiety take over. Perhaps, he still can get it going for him. 

Or maybe, not. 

Maybe, not today. 

He wasn’t sure how long he waited. One hour for sure, maybe more, but he nearly jumped off the second floor, when he saw a boat coming closer to an Island. Finally, she was –

But it wasn’t Emily. 

It was Mister H and…what the hell? Was it Ryan? 

They seem to not notice him too busy talking with one another. Jacob had no idea what they were discussing, he could only hear their muted voices, and see Mister Hackett nearly scrambling to get on the sandy surface, like he wanted nothing more, than to put a distance between himself and the water. 

Meanwhile, Ryan was tying the boat to the bridge pole, eyes downcast and mouth still running about whatever. As soon as he was done, he joined Chris and they walked towards –

Oh fuck. They were walking here. 

Jacob leapt away from the wooden border, heart beating loudly inside his ears. What should he do? None of the counselors were allowed to come here, after the camping activities were done with. And it was getting closer and closer toward nighttime. He would get in trouble for this! 

He couldn’t let them see him! 

The voices were getting louder and he could hear their footsteps making the old wood creak. They were fucking going up here! Damn! Damn it! 

Frantically, Jacob swiped his head around, attempting to pick a place to hide. 

Come on! Come on! 

“T-there!” he muttered to himself, feeling like he still could avoid getting caught. 

Quickly, he rushed toward one of the tables, crawling underneath it, right to the point, where there were too many chairs for them to hopefully notice him. He could hide behind them for the time being. And it wasn’t like it was actually all that bright anymore either. 

The sun was about to set in an hour or two, so maybe –

“I can’t believe, that he said it.” 

This was unmistakably Mister H’s voice. 

“He did.” 

And this low drawl was clearly Ryan. But what the fuck Ryan was even going here, and with their boss? So late too? How come that rules didn’t apply to him as well? 

Jacob could barely process what this situation even was, but he didn’t have all that much time to dwell on it. His breath came short, when both men walked through the doorway. Mister Hackett was holding a pack of…beer? And Ryan was dragging after him, seemingly familiar with this ‘routine’, like they did it before. 

And what the hell was this all about? Did Chris allow Ryan to drink at work? 

While Jacob was still somewhat shocked with this development, Ryan settled on one of the tables, putting his boot on the nearest chair, rocking it. The older man placed the beer pack right next to his hip, pausing like he had noticed something out of order. 

“And then, it’s –”

“Wait a second, bud.” 

Jacob watched in horror how Mister H took a step back from the table, and slowly rounded the room with his stare. The look inside his irises was oddly intense, not the kind that he ever saw the man having. Then, weirdly enough, Mister H’s nose twitched, like he was sniffing air. 

“What’s the matter?” 

“Ah, no…” Chris narrowed his eyes, looking from one side to another. “No, it’s just — oh, here it is.” 

He slowly stalked closer to the place, where Jacob was hiding and for a second, he thought that he was found out. But Chris reached for something, that was on the table, instead of looking underneath it. 

“Ah-ha.” judging by the sound, the olderman shook the object in his hand, before throwing it to Ryan, who caught it with ease. A bottle opener.  “I knew, that it was around here somewhere.” 

“You always forget stuff.” Ryan told him in an even voice, opening one of the bottles and hissing, when some of the foam dripped past the glass, and all over his fingers. 

“Not always.” Mister H responded, returning to his previous spot. 

“You forgot the password to your own safe the other week.” 

“It’s because I’ve changed it.” Chris chuckled at his own statement, rubbing the back of his neck as if embarrassed. “And yeah, you’ve right, I pretty much forgot, that I’ve changed it afterwards.” 

“It’s all because of the beer.” Ryan tilted his head a bit to the side, allowing Chris to take the bottle away from him. 

“Oh yeah?” the older man took a large sip, while Ryan stared at him. “Think so, mm?” 

“Yeah. It’s like – uhh –” he bit down on his lip, thinking about the word. “The Devil’s brew.” 

“The Devil’s brew?” Chris licked his lips, giving Ryan a crinky, cheery look. “I heard it somewhere before.” 

Ryan shrugs. “My grandma calls it that. And she’s like a hundred years old.” 

“Are you calling me old again?” Chris quirked a brow up. “Think, that only the old people know what it is?” 

“Not what I’ve said.” 

Ryan suddenly reached his hand, wrapping his fingers around Chris’s and tilting the bottle toward himself, taking a large gulp, that resulted in him starting coughing. It must have hit the wrong place inside his throat. Chris sighed and lightly patted him on the back, not even scolding him for such sort of behavior. 

Jacob frowned. Still confused. 

So, was Ryan allowed to drink for real, then? 

“Sh-shit…” 

“Ah, Ryan.” Mister H mumbled. “Don’t hurry. Drink in small gulps, yeah?” 

“Yeah, y-yeah, I – I know, it’s just –” Ryan wiped his mouth, right afterwards grabbing Chris’s uniform and tugging him a bit closer. “I kind of…uhh. I kind of tired of waiting.” 

“Ohhh…I see.” Chris drew out, understanding something, that Jacob didn’t. “How cruel of me to deny you this, mm? Want to get it on now already, champ?” 

Slowly, Ryan nodded, still gripping the lapel of Chris’s shirt. Still staring him dead in the eyes. And if Jacob didn’t know any better, he’d thought, that they were about to make out with one another. But –

No. 

Now, that would have been fucking weird, if they did. Like as if every lewd joke, that he and the boys made about Ryan and Mister H had suddenly turned out to be true. 

“I’m better start, before ya'll get all impatient, then.” Chris said, voice getting lower, deeper. “You’re ready for it, right?” 

Another nod. 

“Y-yeah.” 

Chris’s hands brushed the back of Ryan’s neck. “Good.” 

Behind the bunch of chairs, crumpled in tiny space, Jacob took it all in. There was a lot of familiarity between them. And it’s not like no one had ever noticed it before. It was enough to just look at them interacting, really. But it felt so much more casual now, somehow. Like Ryan and Chris were hanging out like this all the time. 

It felt so weird to see it happening without them knowing, that he was there. But his brain had only truly zeroed out, went completely blank, when Mister H took a hold of Ryan’s chin, in a gesture so sure and confident, like it was done time after time, and pressed their mouths together. 

Jacob’s own mouth involuntarily hung open, as he stared and stared, as if it would disappear or he would wake up. But it did not. And he didn’t wake up with a gasp. Instead, it was Ryan, who gasped into the older man’s lips, slightly aching into Chris’s other hand, when it crawled up his leg, right under his undershirt. 

And holy moly, it got intense pretty fast from there. Jacob wasn’t expecting them to just go for it, like that. Not that he expected them to go for it at all. But the kiss turned from somewhat slow into a dirty one, and he couldn’t foresee Ryan even knowing how to kiss, but he clearly knew what he was doing. Moving his jaw and grabbing Chris’s arm, trembling fingers pressing into his tattoo, sliding against heated skin while the older man sucked all the air out of his lungs. 

It was as if he attempted to choke him with the kiss alone. 

And Ryan was clearly into it too. Into not able to breath, aside from panicked, fastered inhales and exhales through his nose. It wasn’t the first time, when they did it, clearly. So how many times…? No, wait. Why does he even think about that!? 

It was so odd and wrong, but also, he probably shouldn’t be all that shocked, considering that Ryan never hid his apparent boner for Mister H. And speaking of boners, Jesus…

It didn’t take Mister H long to just slam his hips between Ryan’s spread legs, and lightly rub against him, while they were making out. Ryan seemed pleased, eager even. 

And this was weird too. Jacob could never imagine Chris as someone, who was this straightforward and latently aggressive. Sure, the guy had a bit of a temper at times, but usually, Mister H was pretty tame and somewhat polite. For him to just eat face with one of his counsellors like that? 

What was going on?

“Mhh!” 

Ryan made another noise, twitching against Chris and sort of attempting to reach for his belt, but his hand was stopped half-way. Mister H just kept it there against his hip, not allowing it to go any further, sort of jamming it against his growing erection. And yeah, Jacob could see it from his place, thank you very much. 

“C-come on…” Ryan rasped, when they separated after what seemed like an hour. “I need t-to –” 

He took a deep breath, still unable to recover, while Chris only smiled at him. It wasn't an unkind smile either. It was pretty warm and found, but also knowing and vexed. 

“You’re really inpatient today, buster.” Chris noted. “Can’t hold it back?” 

“Y-yeah…” Ryan sucked in another shaky breath, and nodded, watching Chris through half-lidded eyes. “I just really want you to…uh…y’know to uh…” 

“To fuck ya silly?” Chris asked, and it was so bizzare hearing him saying something like that. For a moment Jacob honestly thought, that he was asleep and it wasn’t for real. But then it got worse, “Raw you up for good, eh?” 

Ryan’s face flushed, and he slightly turned his head away, but Chris wrenched it back, using a grip on his jaw. His other hand relaxed his hold around Ryan’s wrist, and snaked back under the younger man’s shirt. He was in less hurry now, as if merely wishing to prolong this torture for everyone inside the room. 

“Wanna get all handsy with me, Ryan?” 

“Chris –!” 

Ryan couldn’t quite double-over, pretty much stuck with Mister H keeping him in place by his body and hands, and table not letting him go anywhere else. For a moment, Jacob wondered how Ryan could stand this much body contact and heat, but at the same time still long for more. 

Jacob got dirty with at least four girls in his lifetime, and neither of them looked so willing and eager to push even further, to be even closer, than this. 

But Ryan did. His whole body shivered, either from whatever Chris did under his shirt or maybe, because he wasn’t allowed to go any further than this just yet. It must have driven a guy nuts. It would have driven Jacob nuts for sure. 

“I, I –” 

“Ryan.” it wasn’t even addressed to him, but Jacob felt his guts twisting with uncomfortable heat. “Ryan…” 

Jacob has no idea how Chris could sex up that prick’s name like this, but there was a lot of emotion behind it. Warm and lingering, earning like a need, that could find no release. 

“C-can I –” Ryan swallowed. “Can I…now?” 

“No.” Chris shook his head, watching Ryan’s expression crumble a bit. “You have to wait a bit longer.” 

It seemed like Ryan was about to disagree, but instead his face went back to being unreadable, as he peered back at Chris. His fingers curled around the bulge in the older man’s pants, forcing him to let out a sigh as if in praise. 

“Ryan –”

“Y-you started it first.” 

Chris snorted, caressing Ryan’s jaw, pressing one finger near the corner of his mouth. “Cheeky, are ya?” 

Ryan gave him a faint half-smile, hooking one of his legs around Mister H’s hip. “I’m twenty.” 

“I know, bud.” Chris muttered, mouth hoovering near Ryan’s, as if in a promise of a kiss. “I know.” 

Helpless to do much, but continue watching them, Jacob couldn’t prevent himself from getting a bit reflective. They really stared at one another a lot, while they were at it, he noticed. And it was pretty much the opposite of how it went down between Jacob and Emma. She would rather keep her eyes closed and then, just shrug off his advances, like it meant nothing. 

It’s just summer fun, she told him with that cute smile and light pitch of her brows, and – 

It was kind of humiliating, that the guy, who he kind of hated, certainly got a better game, than he did. Mister H took Ryan to the woods at times, where they were supposedly hiking together, but now, Jacob wondered if this, - this right here - was what they were really doing in the forest. 

Was Mister H raw doggying Ryan in the open? Right in the woods? Just a couple of miles away from the camp? 

He seemingly had no problem banging him here. So yeah, probably. 

It still barely made any sense inside his head, it was buzzing and buzzing to no end. Was he really seeing it? Them together? There must be something with his brain or…?

Ryan let out a keen. 

And this was the loudest and the most emotional noise, that he ever heard him making. 

Involuntary, Jacob backed away further into the wall, blinking rapidly. Chris’s hand was twisting Ryan’s nipple under his shirt, if he had to guess. Ryan was openly panting, as Chris pushed his big finger into his mouth, watching him grow even redder in the face. 

And yeah, okay maybe there was an appeal to it. Even Jacob had to admit, that the creepy asshole did look kind of nice like this. When he wasn’t all arrogant and gloomy, carrying that large stick up his ass. Instead, remaining pinned and manhandled. And quite, save from needy voices. 

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

After death | Lost Gods

He looks at the skyline ahead of him, its famous shapes that tourists gape at like they’re observing a gorilla in an enclosure. It’s all grey to him, not just because of the looming storm but because the grids of buildings and lights have become boring in a way that seems fatal—this city is a dead thing on earth, he doesn’t care what anyone says. It’s all post-mortem—the blinking traffic lights, shafts of sunlight interrupted by high-rises, yellow taxis honking, honking, honking, like they’re shouting a prayer. He feels sort of like that too, caught in kitschy after death.

A little Harrison art <3 !! And an excerpt from the opening of Lost Gods!

4 years ago today I finished writing his very first solo novel, Moth Work, & I’m kind of in awe of how far we’ve come in that short time… 4 novels & 2 novellas narrated by this man who’s a little embarrassing and a whole lot profound (but you didn’t hear that from me!). A few more thoughts under the cut, but here’s a little note I made myself in 2020, the only note I’ve ever made after finishing a book (possibly because finishing this one changed my life a little).

TW for mentions of: mental illness, trauma in the mental health system, internalized homophobia

Technically I finished Moth Work at 2:34AM because I lived on the west coast at the time lol.

I don’t usually celebrate or remember the anniversaries of finishing books. But I wanted to celebrate this one because a) it’s Leap Day & I haven’t been able to commemorate what I was doing during the last one for 4 years, & b) because finishing MW was such a significant accomplishment!

I started MW in January of 2019 because I was struggling emotionally. At the time, I was racing to figure out “what was wrong with me” before flying across the country for uni in the summer (SPOILER I WAS JUST AUTISTIC LMAO), which led to a lot of stressful and traumatizing appointments with doctors. I desperately needed a book to cheer me up but a different one from my WIP at the time, especially because in 2018, I’d both discovered my voice and become really afraid of messing it up!

I also was taking a religion class at the time that was emotionally difficult for me because I felt reallyyyy alone and especially isolated in my queerness that I’d been hiding for a couple years at that point (& that I literally would not talk about at all, not even to people I trusted). When it became very clear I needed an outlet to explore my feelings (of being “unhelpable,” internalized homophobia, a general sense of aloneness/isolation) the decision of what I was going to write became pretty clear.

I’d written 3 stories in Harrison’s POV that predated MW starting in late 2018 (they were also my first explorations in third person present tense, which fun fact, I only tried in his POV because I’ve always written my notes ideas in that POV/tense combo, even when I only wrote first person!). I hadn’t written in a different POV character’s head beside’s Reeve’s since 2016, so it felt natural that the second character I felt closest to (Harrison!!!) could be a narrator. Funnily at this time Lonan was my favourite so I’m actually surprised I did not choose him but can we imagine how different things would be if I had???

I started Moth Work in my notes app (ICONIC) on January 16th 2019 at 11:37pm! The first chapter came pretty quickly, is actually quite non-linear for a bit, and was overall a lot of fun to write. I’d planned for the project to maybe be a short story or at the most a novella (does this sound familiar), nothing very long and definitely not a novel. I believe the goal word count was 5k which is so funny bc that’s exactly how Changing States & Lost Gods started!!!

And then the project stagnated, it wasn’t something I’d planned to write seriously, and I didn’t pick it back up until August of that year when my therapist at the time suggested I try to complete a “reach goal” as I was reaching Crisis and I guess I was so done with everything going on in my life that I was like okay fine!!!! I will write Moth Work as a novel!!!!

This book literally flew with me across the country… I wrote a lot of it late at night in my dorm with all the lights off after a long day on campus. I wrote a lot of it in my intro to sociology lecture LMAO. I wrote a lot of it on my phone. It was the first project (no literally) where I intentionally explored queerness, especially my own feelings as a (sort of?) catholic at the time. I explored atheism a lot! Something I needed to process my own feelings about faith & God. I explored what it’s like to be this completely unhelpable person because you’ve decided there’s no possible way to help yourself anymore (hiiii Lonan). I also explored (a bit like a premonition), what it’s like to care deeply for someone you can’t help (but that you very badly want to help).

And I almost didn’t finish the book! The imposter syndrome and insecurity went crazyyy when writing Moth Work. I didn’t feel like I was writing the First Person Retrospective Flowery Literary Fiction I’d deemed as the only possible “good writing.” (Still LOVE but I really was struggling seeing a very minor style shift, which is funnily much closer to my writing now than when I was writing the “best” way.) I deleted so much from this book. I couldn’t look at it. I was so embarrassed by it!! I made ultimatums with it!! I edited it so much but still couldn’t stand it! It was literally the safest space I had and I could barely be there a lot of the time!!!

SOOOO this is why I’m very proud of me for finishing it lol & while I would typically have celebrated the anniversary idk, in 2021, bc it didn’t exist until this year it felt apt to sit with those feelings now. I’m really proud of 17-year-old Rachel who was undiagnosed autistic & convinced I was a lost cause, who was sooo afraid of being queer I could only think of that through Lonan (& sometimes still do thx king 🫡) who literallyyyyy wrote a masterpiece in my collection that contains some of my best work (even if I only realized that 4 years later) & that’s been the start of EVERYTHING!

This is so much more than a book or an anniversary!! Somehow I made it through all the things I didn’t think were possible and now have written 2 books & 3 (writing the fourth) novellas allllll in this world. AND 2 additional novels in his POV!! Also thank you baby Rachel for Jeremiah. Like hello!!!! This is the only place I felt safe to be myself when I couldn’t be with anyone else! And there’s something priceless about that…

And it’s all bc of Harrison!!! Whoever I saw in that man in 2019… girl thank you!! Can’t explain what it’s like to grow with that character (who is sooo much more than that to me). Never would I have predicted where I am now. And IMO, that’s all thanks to him so ily fictional man in my head, this is soooo his day LOL.

& if you were here since the first MW update & made it this far… I MUST KNOW!!!!

[flashnthunder]

Miscellaneous tag game

@grumpy-liebgott and @sharkboyandlavalieb tagged me <333 and i am of course a million years late

Favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

inside the us i would say maine, i love the ocean/forest combo it's got going on

Something you’re proud of yourself for?

coauthoring several medical research papers as an undergrad, which is like my one and only flex and it's a nerdy one

Favorite books?

new hampshire- robert frost, the art of being human- michael wesch, ajax- sophocles (yes, only one of these is technically a book ik)

Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

it might be cheesy to say music, but music and my friends <3

Favorite thing about your culture?

from the midwest US (so there's not that much), but i was raised very much in borderline appalachia and the older i've gotten the more i've come to appreciate that as part of how i was raised, so i would say quilting! i was taught to quilt by the women in my family and i still cherish the connection to them through that

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?

band of brothers in 8th grade, my history teacher would play it for us and i'm pretty sure he used it in place of actually teaching but he was a real one and also a drill sergeant so i don't think anyone argued with his methods

Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favorite?

have NOT read any BoB books, but i have read most of the ones that inspired the pacific + a shit ton of pacific memoirs in general

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?

lip and luz with the dud shell, bull watching out for the younger replacements, the officers in the eagle's nest, and just in general all of episode 8

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

band of brothers, top gun, the pacific (hypothetically), mota now it looks like, way back to my roots would be star trek and also whatever was going on with bandoms in hs that is a dark time

Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

oooh idk it changes, but last year i was on an ethan hawke kick- 'adopt a highway' and 'first reformed' are two he's good in (obligatory dead poets society mention ofc)

Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

"Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night." - sarah williams

Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

so bad at fun facts uhhh. uh. i am double-jointed in my hands.

If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader 🤭)?

i have NEVER had a beta reader and i am simply too scared to ask how it works because i'm not sure anyone should have to be subjected to my writing process but!! always willing to give a new thing a shot

Three things that make you smile?

my dog when she stretches in the sun, swimming in a creek in the summer, sitting in the car with my best friend while it rains

Any nicknames you like?

izzy! i have liked it well enough to all but legally make it my real name, other than that izzy-maye from people i'm close with, or iz/izzers when people are in a hurry

List some people you love to see around on tumblr!

@andromeddog art makes me go feral, @mutantmanifesto killer art that is living rent-free in my mind, @ewipandora MWAH you already know you make my day better on here, @onehelluvamarine has me kicking my feet giggling when they're in my notifs, @terresdebrume lovely writing <3

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

foolproof 3 step plan, ready for it? 1- find a good ditch 2- lay down in the ditch 3- just let it happen

idealistically i think i could go chill in the woods for a semi-significant period of time and be alright

Favorite movie?

logan's run (comfort movie, questionable 70s sci-fi), the hunt for red october (always feeling very big feelings on this), arrival, apocalypse now, fury, dead poets society, alexander (like the 4 hours version because im insufferable like that) the old star trek movies

Do you like horror movies?

i love horror movies WITH people you will not catch me watching them on my own, but 100% love love getting to sit on someone's couch and watch one

Tagging:

(no pressure and apologies for any double tagging) @ewipandora @blood-mocha-latte @deputy-buck @lamialamia @blurredcolour @saturnwisteria @staud + anyone i tagged in my answers and forgot to tag down here, or anyone who just wants to do it :)