#i tend to invent shit and then forget all about it

[nekropsii]

ALPHA TROLLS RANKED BY HOW WRONG THE FANDOM AT LARGE IS ABOUT THEM:

This is a personal challenge, based entirely on my own experience and perspective, and also ranked from Most to Least Correct. I was bored, and thought this might be fun.

Putting this under a cut, because it's long as hell.

MEULIN LEIJON

People get her mostly correct, from what I’ve seen… Most of the time, fan content of Meulin is absolutely recognizable as Meulin, but her pride in her deafness + joy of learning new ways to interact with the world through/due to her disability is always removed, and I do not often see people tackle the Toxic Positivity aspect of her character. That seems less like character assassination, though, and more like a combination of people not actually playing through the Openbounds, people not being able to fathom disabled people (especially those who gained a disability later in life rather than being born disabled) being happy, and general fandom distaste for the idea of touching anything uncomfortable, especially when that uncomfortable topic is highly mundane, normalized, and potentially applicable to them or their loved ones. Meulin’s toxic positivity was, of course, commentary on Tumblr’s ecosystem at the time, so… It was much harder to touch back then.

ARANEA SERKET

People tend to get her general, broad strokes personality right, but unfortunately she gets treated pretty roughly for the crime of Being A Serket. People refuse to understand her motivations, and she often gets demonized for what she was doing around/during [S] Game Over, even though that was something she’d gotten pushed to and also was cool as fuck to watch. God forbid a woman do anything.

DAMARA MEGIDO

People are right about the racism, 100%. It is completely despicable, hard to look at, and extremely blatant. She does, however, have character outside of that. No, it isn’t “whore”, it’s more like “angry, dysfunctional abuse victim”, and she’s genuinely a very interesting and tragic character. But, again, people are right about the racism, so she gets to be placed way up here.

MEENAH PEIXES

She is such a chaotic little bastard. I love her. I really do. Please understand that she genuinely does not understand the concept of consequences. This girl didn’t have a Lusus, she didn’t have parents, it was functionally illegal to tell her “No, you can’t do that.” That would fuck up literally anyone’s moral compass. That’s not me hand waving away all the fucked up and bad shit she’s done, we all know what she did, but people tend to forget this aspect of her character and it pains me deeply, because it is a very genuinely interesting concept that I want to see more of. She’s capable of regret, we’ve seen her feel it, I just don’t think foresight is her forte. No one raised her to consider consequences, or help her experience them in a healthy way, because nobody raised her period.

Also, her ass is not butch, she is the girliest girl in the entire comic. She is about hot pink and glitter and kiss marks and unicorns and cute little puns and you will respect that. She is not masculine. Her ass is not masculine nor is she butch. Let her be her hyper-feminine self.

LATULA PYROPE

Please for the love of god there is more to her character than “Gamer Girl” and “Mituna’s Girlfriend”. You are falling for her fucking ruse. Please. Please. Please recognize that her entire character is about internalized misogyny, and being forced to overcompensate for misogyny in gaming circles as a gamer who happens to be a woman. Please. I’m begging.

KURLOZ MAKARA

His character is not that deep, it’s mostly just a string of events he is mysteriously, inexplicably involved with. The Makaras are extremely Function Over Form- their characters practically do not exist, they're mostly just plot devices that exist to push the story along. I'm sorry to Makara fans. You just invented a guy in your mind and decided he was real. He is also not that soft, though, and his relationships with both Meulin AND Mituna are not healthy. Hard to stop people from ascribing cutesy squishy lovey dynamics to random men who happened to have looked at each other once, though. Some people truly haven't graduated from 2012.

HORUSS ZAHHAK

I am begging people to consider that maybe the biggest issue here is not that he is “Bad Otherkin/Therian Representation” and is in fact maybe the fact that Hussie was actually making fun of Systems when he was writing Horuss. Because Horuss is canonically a system. He uses the word system. He uses the word switching. He uses the word host. He literally talks about his Plurality at length in extremely upfront, plain terms. I don’t know how him being “Bad Otherkin Representation” was and still is the main discourse about him. It makes me insane. That is a commentary that truly writes itself. Talk about having your priorities out of wack, honestly...

PORRIM MARYAM

No, she is not a MRA, she’s just a regular feminist who happens to live on a different planet with different politics and social hierarchies from Our Real World Earth’s USA. Whatever argument you’re about to pull out of your ass to say that she sucks is bad. She already explained what she meant by that, in more detail, very clearly, and she was right. Half the time she’s literally just giving you factual information about what Beforus was like, and literal plot synopses. She isn’t saying anything insane. She’s literally normal. I don’t know why people cannot handle or process this. Porrim has not ever said anything controversial. If you disagree with this you’re either misconstruing her on purpose or you fell for Kankri’s bait, and that’s just fucking sad at that point.

Also, she’s more than a sex object, and her tits are not huge. Honestly, half the shit she was saying was just “I am more than my sex life”, and so many people took that and made her main character trait her sex life. Just pathetic.

RUFIOH NITRAM

This man is a fucking war criminal and I will stop at nothing until he is behind bars for his crimes against Damara. Raging misogynist. Total fucking cunt. Just the worst. If I talk any more about this, this part will be 1,000 paragraphs long. But also, I’m begging people to recognize his relationship with disability, too. He was similar to Meulin in the sense that he didn’t mind his disability, and his biggest gripe with it was the way that Horuss tried to “fix” it… Which is an interesting way to expand upon how Beforus’s culling system is not only very explicitly ableist, but mimicking real world systemic ableism. I also want people to recognize that Hussie is actively having a conversation about the reclamation of slurs with Rufioh’s character, and how not letting people reclaim such language is doing nothing but giving the word power against them while stripping away their own personal agency. Rufioh’s a complicated guy, and he’s interesting and also the worst, and I am really tired of how he gets watered down to nothing but “Pretty Boy Victim Of His Inexplicably Psycho Ex”.

MITUNA CAPTOR

Holy Fucking Shit, You Guys Are Ableist.

KANKRI VANTAS

To this day I see people saying he was just Hussie making fun of SJWs. To this day. To this day people think Hussie was trying to make Every Tumblr Leftist look bad, and that he hates them Because They Are Leftists. When will people recognize him as a bootlicker to the oppressive class and the violently bigoted. When will people recognize that. When will people recognize that this is more of a commentary on the legitimate real flaws of Tumblr’s politics at the time. When. When.

When will people stop portraying him as a lovey-dovey Catholic Whore. I’m going to stab my fucking eyes out and then kill everyone in this building. Me when it's based and cool to ship an aroace character with a sexual predator. I GUESS.

CRONUS AMPORA

I say this with every ounce of sincerity I can possibly muster as a person: What the literal actual fuck.

[the-kr8tor]

Ok, it’s a bit early for this type of request but hobie brown on Valentine’s Day with reader. Even though he hates the capitalist part of it, reader convinces him it’s all about the love and they celebrate together. (They make each other homemade gifts, and if they want something from the store hobie would steal it) <3

-🪩

Thank you for the adorable request!! Ly 🫶 (uploaded early bc i tend to forget abt valentine's day lol)

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, No specific physical description of the reader, CW food mentions, FLUFF.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

The loud music blares right inside your eardrums, chocolate aroma filtering through the entire flat, there's dried bits of it in your hair, apron and hands. You hum while putting the melted chocolate in its heart shaped molds.

Hobie's initials are freshly painted using icing on the prototypes or what you called ‘the rejected batch’ after you dumped more cocoa powder in it, making it lumpy and in turn making the hearts look wonky.

Stretching your aching neck, you place the tray of chocolate inside the freezer to cool, nodding to yourself at how you've practically perfected the last batch; now you just have to wait for it to freeze over so you could paint his initials and cartoon versions of you two on the chocolate. After that you can finally box them up and gift them to Hobie's as a valentine's gift—

“What's all this then?” A chin plops atop your shoulder, fingers taking off your earbuds for you.

You jump in your skin, back hitting the fridge door in surprise. “Fucking fuck!”

Hobie grins at your reaction, his hand hidden behind his back. “Cute apron. You look bloody fit in it.”

You clutch your imaginary pearls. “You're such an ass.” calming your racing heart, you flick his forehead. “You're early.”

“Time is a construct.”

“I'm not done with your gift.”

“Valentine's day is a sham holiday that capitalists invented so you could buy shit your partner doesn't need.” He raises a brow at you.

You loop your arms around his neck, smile widening at every word he utters. “What's that behind you then?”

“Flowers,” he sighs, revealing a bouquet of flowers from behind, the colorful paper crinkles, a thin red ribbon tying it all together. You're sure you've seen the flowers somewhere. “Before you say anythin’ it's from my garden.”

“You're an absolute sweetheart, Hobie brown.” eyes sparkling, you lean to press numerous kisses on his whole face, he scrunches up, feigning offense at your comment, but the way he subtly chases your lips says otherwise.

“My big punk sweetheart got me flowers!” You can't help but squeeze his cheeks. “From his beloved garden no less!” Pressing kisses in quick succession, he surrenders to you, sighing with every smooch you give him.

You lean away, affection satiated. He looks properly smooched with his face relaxed and lips smiling lopsidedly. His eyes are the same shape as the chocolates you've been making.

“The holiday's still a bloody cash grab.” He huffs, not an annoyed huff but a content one as you wipe the sheen you've left on his skin.

“I know it is.” You chuckle, busying yourself on cleaning his face. Your movements remind him of a cat grooming another cat; tender and soothing for the one they love. “It's about the thought, the love that comes with the gifts. Purchased or made there's love underneath it all.” Voice soft, lashes fluttering, you look at him like you've got the whole world in your hands.

“Or stolen from a multi million store that doesn't pay their employees fairly?” Hobie holds you by your middle, spare hand still clutched around the precious bouquet.

“Oh especially then!” you take his gift, smelling the petals. Your heart is full.

Smiling, you embrace him that he welcomes wholeheartedly. Nose nuzzling the crook of his neck, you leave a soft kiss on his jaw for good measure.

“Based on the chocolates on the walls, 'm guessing you got me a new guitar?” Hobie jokes, voice muffled by your temple that he's currently pecking like a man deprived of kisses. (He isn't)

“Wait a few more hours to get your gift?” You lean away to look at him, he's eyeing the prototypes on the counter.

“Stay with you for the rest of the day, getting snogged by you every second?” You nod, giggling. “Sounds like pants.” Before you could say something witty, he crashes his lips to yours.

Hobie tastes chocolates in your lips, making him kiss you deeper. Hands gliding along your lower back, he finds penchant on your hips, molding the soft skin in his hands.

He leans back, watching your flustered face gawp at him. “Tastes good, love.” His voice is deep and saccharine. You're absolutely melting in his arms, the bouquet almost slipping from your clammy hands.

“Let me get another taste.”

[ungodly-amounts-of-godly-trauma]

wotw round 1

propaganda under the cut!

zhang chengling:

ok this is complicated because he IS an angel and the sweetest and whatever. but people tend to focus so much on that to the point where they forget the rest of him as well. like he's a 14 year old boy who had his entire family massacred in one night. he had jagged piece of glass (I think it was glass, they never specified the material) stuffed into gash on his side and he had to walk around with that and then had to be the one to reopen the wound and dig it out of himself. he went through being tortured and was even waterboarded but only spit in the face of his torturers. like that side of him gets lost so much in favor of he's the world's sweetest boy who is so innocent and naive

espresso cookie:

okay. heres the thing. espresso cookie is a badass mage who scraped his way out of poverty and literally invented his own form of magic from scratch. he is world renowned as an extremely powerful and reliable scientist. he literally created one of the greatest inventions of all time in-universe and helped strengthen cookies all across the world in battle.

he's also really mean. there are multiple stories about him not getting along with this one dude (who's basically his worst enemy) and generally just being really mean to everyone. he can be normal (because he feels emotions like everyone else?) but generally he's just really sick of everyone's shit.

you know what the fandom did with him? they took his character anD FUCKING RUINED IT. HE WAS REDUCED FROM A BADASS MAGE WHOS SICK OF EVERYONES BULLSHIT TO A SOFTIE TSUNDERE BOY WHO GETS SHIPPED WITH HIS WORST ENEMY. ITS SO ANNOYING. IT IS THE WORST CHARACTERIZATION. ESPRESSO HAS NEVER BEEN SHOWN TO HAVE A "SOFT SPOT" FOR HIS ENEMY. IT IS LITERALLY THE EXACT OPPOSITE. IF I SEE ONE MORE PERSON BABYIFY ESPRESSO AND REMOVE PARTS OF HIS CHARACTER FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR SHIP I WILL GET VIOLENT. I'M SORRY YOU CAN'T HANDLE MEAN CHARACTERS. BUT IF I SEE ONE MORE PIECE OF MEDIA REDUCING HIM TO A LITTLE SOFTIE INSECURE CATBOY I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD. IT'S SO BAD I'VE HAD TO STOP INTERACTING WITH THE FANDOM JUST TO ESCAPE IT.

[starcanwrecked-confessions]

i think the reason theres a lot of discourse about liking max and whether or not its okay when people like lots of other characters that suck (i.e. ted or the jerris) is that a lot of max's major fans tend to overly woobify him and mischaracterize him as much nicer then he actually is. people do sometimes woobify these other characters a little (for example i rly dont think ted would be as much of a caring big brother as a lot of the fandom (including me sometimes) write him as lol) but theyll at least acknowledge theyre assholes and mostly write them as much, max's stans characterize him as a poor uwu baby thats onlyy kindaa mean bc of his dad and he would have stopped bullying the nerds right away if he did die at the waylon place promise !! meanwhile in canon yes he might have a shitty dad but thats no excuse for the fact that he *torments* his classmates. people forget bullying is a form of abuse and he verbally and physically abuses his victims and controls his friends behavior and forces them into acting the same way (who actually apologize for their bullying unlike max lol) im not gonna say its immoral to like his character, both if you like his character for what he is which is a piece of shit with a lot of funny lines or if its for the uwu little baby version you made up in your head but if its the second its important to acknowledge thats not what his character is in any way at all like max is a horrible person, its fine to like a character thats a horrible person but i think if you like them for the nice person youve invented its time to come up with a different character to like. and also maybe seriously analysis if it comes from a place of obsessing over any white guy character bc it really feels like it, when shipping jason and richie makes more sense if you wanna ship richie with a jock character but ppl still ship him with the guy he has no interactions with any kind of shippy chemistry, and when a lot of the people that do this will not acknowledge graces trauma and depth and just dissmiss her as "evil"

~~~

[windvexer]

what cards do you think represent "same as usual" in context of a daily spread? i always feel like im expecting something crazy to happen whenever i do a daily spread to see how my day will play out

Great question. I do not do daily spreads so maybe I'm not the best person to give advice on this.

But here are some ideas.

1. All cards are "same as usual" unless you get really wicked specific portents of something big happening.

E.g., only major arcana cards indicate something big is going down.

Or, all cards specifically point towards backstabbing and lies.

Or, all cards are King cards (perhaps indicating a person?).

You can develop specific portents for yourself. E.g., when you do your special daily spread, an Ace indicates that something really big is going to be coming up, so cards have to be pair with Aces to get an "it's going down" meaning.

This is kind of more related to Lenormand type stuff and if you're looking to expand your reading skills, learning Lenormand is a fun way to look at tarot in a new light.

2. Expand your understanding of card meanings to include small ideas.

7/Swords doesn't have to be an act of betrayal towards you from a coworker or whatever. It could be an uncomfortable memory that you haven't dwelled on for a long time popping up to ruin about 20 minutes of your day.

The Knight/Wands doesn't have to be a dashing new adventurer who comes into your life, it could be an exciting but brief creative idea that you ruminate on during a coffee break but then forget about.

Personally I'd recommend this take if your goal is to get better at tarot specifically because it's useful to challenge our notions of what the cards can be.

3. Don't use tarot for daily draws.

Such a cop-out answer, I know. But, I have never been able to sustain a daily draw practice because I personally think tarot sucks for daily draws.

I think tarot is a really great system for what it is, which is displaying broad and typically spiritual archetypes and concepts that are best used for a bird's-eye view of large situations, and not only that, but situations which lend themselves to the microcosm proposed by the tarot.

When you get right down to it, there's a lot of shit in day-to-day living that simply is not represented in the tarot at all, or if it is, is a niche meaning or one you might even have to invent yourself.

Other systems of cartomancy, like using playing cards or Lenormand, tend to lend themselves much more readily to "mundane" questions. And learning them can make you a better tarot reader.

4. If it's about learning tarot, do your daily draw at the end of the day.

Even doing this temporarily can help you understand how cards relate to the more common stuff that's going on.

[creature-wizard]

Nothing like folks coming at me about my not being a "real pagan/witch" because I don't bother with the pseudoscience known as astrology. Correct me if I'm wrong, but for ages we thought the planets were gods, so that's why early physicians applied astrology to their medicine. Then we learned planets aren't gods, so now it's the gravitational pull or whatever that the planets have on people because of when and where they were born. There are still people who believe this. Gravity doesn't choose individuals. If the pull of Jupiter is doing anything to us, it's doing it to all of us, and has nothing to do with whatever constellation you were born under. Then there's the bit about there having been 13 signs rather than 12 in western astrology. One was omitted because of superstition or convenience, but I can't remember the details. Then, of course, the location of constellations has changed over time, and what was gemini 2k years ago is now taurus, but not because if we include the 13th sign it gets all kinds of messy.

Astrology is bullshit, mercury retrograde is nonsense, and whatever your sign is has less than nothing to do with your life.

It gets especially bad are the people who hard-core believe this shit. They believe it so hard they blame your sign for why you are rhe way you are. I've had to deal with pagans/witches who, rather than getting to know, will spend 10 minutes listening to me talk and ask me if I'm this or that sign because only those signs act or think like this. I had a nurse who told me I've got [insert medical condition] because I was born under [this sign] on a Friday. How tf did they get through training with all that in their head.

I wish people would stop using horoscopes and astrology to figure out who/what to blame for whatever fuckery they're dealing with/caused. It's exhausting repeatedly hear their noise.

I'll never forget when I got on somebody's nerves and they demanded to know if I was a Gemini, because they were convinced that Geminis were the demons ever. And lemme tell ya, this person was the sort who refused to do any self-reflection and consider that maybe they were wrong; instead, they just demonized anybody who didn't just treat them as this infallible deity (they did, in fact, believe they were an infallible deity).

Astrology really is one of those things that gives very mean and self-centered people a tool to divide people into "good" and "bad" categories, as well as define precisely what kind of "bad" person they are. It's unfortunately one of our worse impulses as human beings, and many people will exploit any framework that seems to justify it. (The ones who like to reckon themselves as scientific intellectuals tend to reach for eugenics and pop psychology.)

Also you're not like, not really wrong about the history of astrology or anything, but there's a ton of stuff you're definitely missing here, which IMO is absolutely fascinating. Like the fact that astrology as most of us know it was invented in Babylon, where it reflected Babylonian seasons and seasonal mythology. And the whole stellar ray theory, and how people thought that metals were formed deep in the earth when certain places were exposed to certain stellar rays. TBH, astrology has a ton of interesting history and lore attached to it, so I'm just gonna suggest anybody who's interested watches ESOTERICA's videos on astrology, because yeah it's genuinely very fascinating.

[bestjeanistmonster]

I recently found your S&T swap au and I am in love. It’s so good! And your art is so adorable you do not understand

Ok, so I had some thoughts while looking through your au.

Are their personalities different due to how their pasts are different?

And, I’m pretty sure, there were like ancient depictions of a form looking like Sonic saving the world and stuff so I wonder if like sonic was “destined” to be the hero but in this case that isn’t the role he had. Meaning Tails has to prove to himself and others that despite what destiny tried to say, he is a hero.

Aww thnx so much 🥺!!!

These are very good thoughts and there are a quite few differences in personality so I’m just gonna do this in sections:

Sonic:

Sonic’s not too different to how he is in canon, I think swap sonic still has like the same demeanour and attitude, like they’re not that different in terms of being pretty chill, too cool for school and generally being a little shit

He leans more into the piloting thing and he likes to fly fast. Do not insult his piloting skills unless you wanna annoy him

no one really expects him to be a super genius they’re always caught off guard by it when says something really scientific just casually (except the people who are just used to it)

He tends a danger to himself most of the time, being sent to the hospital every couple of weeks cuz of of his experiments, inventions or just straight up forgetting he fit the blowtorch on the floor. (A lot of the times is a some dumb stuff that he does for ‘science’)

Zero sense of self preservation and a tendency to just casually play off injuries (“Relax shadow, all the bleeding was internal, that’s where the blood’s supposed to be-“)

filled with lots of energy and from the lack of usage of his speed to let some of it out, always constantly moving. Constant leg bouncing disease and rambling at record speeds (only tails can understand him the most when he’s in ramble mode). He’s also a really fast thinker

When his speed is brought up he gets a bit visibly uncomfortable and changes the subject, pretending that it never happened

Hes bad at taking compliments, he just brushes it off and tries to either discredit himself or awkwardly change the subject. When he was younger he was even worse

The boy would not see sun in days if allowed to hyperfocus on inventing, tails often has to drag his ass outside when that happens

The tornado is his baby

Tails

He’s more confident & independent from doing hero stuff and travelling

He’s a huge history nerd, whenever they go to angel island he ignores sonic & knuckles he goes straight for the ruins.

He knows random trivia facts

He owns many notebooks and has about 6 in total so far

In his travels he loves to learn about different cultures and traditions

Tails’s 8 year old brain at some point just comes to the conclusion that he straight up can't die cuz after everything he's been through he's still alive and so Tails slowly becomes more reckless with his well-being because of it much to sonic’s chagrin

This kid is really curious, you would be surprised how many of his adventures started out as innocent curiosity. He gets side tracked a lot because of it. (Once Sonic asked him to go get some groceries from the supermarket, returned in gold armor with a sword and a country. He forgot the groceries)

He reads a lot of comic books for catchphrase and megamind voice presentation.

People often underestimate him due to his age and adorable appearance and he uses it to his advantage

Cusses frequently

Does not hold back on insults. Someone could be debating whether or not to fight this eight year old but then he opens his mouth and they’re like “nah, the kid deserves it.” And squares up

Destined hero thingy

Tail’s definitely did have to prove to others and himself that he was a hero despite it not being destiny, and sonic had to prove that just because he was ‘destined’ to be a hero doesn’t mean that has to do it it in a way that’s foretold of be a hero at all

But despite this Tails does have a bit of imposter syndrome and feels like, despite all that he’s achieved, he doesn’t deserve to be called the ‘hero of mobius’.

He was just a little kid who wanted to help

But sonic called bullshit on that and told him that’s exactly why deserves to be called a hero, a little kid standing up against seemingly impossible odds and challenges over and over again just because it’s the right thing to do.

I’m thinking that maybe the prophecy will come into play later down the line but I’m still deciding

Thanks for the ask!!!

[ieatsmallorphansnamedtom]

hi do you have any hcs about sebastian? or just the ass squad in general (abigail, sam, sebastian) :D

Of course, anon! Gotta love the ass squad lol. Thanks for the ask. :) Spoilers for the ass squad obviously.

Sebastian and ASS Squad Headcanons!

It was actually Sebastian that inspired Sam to start a band! Seb knows the keyboard by the time Sam is wanting to start a band, and I imagine it was him playing something for Sam that sparked the idea!

Speaking of the band, poor Abigail had to sit through hours of Sam going on and on about what it would be like when they're famous before she eventually gave in and joined (it's not like she didn't secretly like the things Sam was talking about nooo never).

I'm on the fence about Seb being a natural ginger or not, but I do think he dyes his hair a lot. Whether it be highlights or his whole head, he and Abby do it all the time together. He mostly dyes it red or blue while Abby is emptying her bottle of purple hair dye for the tenth time that week.

Seb has modded Prairie King for Abigail to make it easier for her. She repaid him by still failing the game.

Sam annoys the hell out of Seb by calling him emo - turns out he actually finds the word annoying. It's mostly due to Sam not shutting up about it, but he also dealt with a bit of bullying in school for it. He'll still use it himself though when he's making jokes.

He does really care for Maru; he just hates to show it. Demetrius is still rotting in hell, but deep down he knows it's not Maru's fault. He takes a lot of inspiration from her inventions and has made a few models of them.

Sebastian gets along with Elliott surprisingly well. it mostly started over Elliott hearing him play keyboard and asking him about it, and from there they grew kind of close! They won't really hang out, but they talk at the saloon on Fridays, catching up on how the other is going.

Thanks to his unlikely friend, Seb listens to classical every now and then. Sam found out and has not let it go. The only reason they aren't being blackmailed into doing all his bidding is because Sam is so forgetful.

Sam is banned from Abigail's kitchen. Let's just say he set the toaster on fire, because that's exactly what happened. Abby walked in like "I smell something burning. Sam?" to see their friend freaking out trying to blow her toaster out like it was a birthday candle. He got a massive talking to after and isn't allowed within two feet of the kitchen tiles.

Sebastian has had multiple pet frogs. The kicker is nobody but him knows about them. When he was a kid, he took one home and put it in a cardboard box under his bed. It lived surprisingly well for being fed leftover dinner.

Seb is 25, and Maru is 21, so he spent very little time with his father. But the memories he holds of him are very strong. When he and Maru were little, they were a ride-or-die pair of siblings. They helped each other cheat on tests all the time. It's only when Demetrius found out and only got mad at Seb did a rift begin to form between them.

If Seb could have any other job, he would want to participate in motorsport races. I mean, he has a bike and he's Sebastian. You can't tell me he hasn't broken a few laws doing tricks.

He used to have a little thing for Sam when they first moved to the valley. He got over it pretty quick though and moved onto Abigail. But it was his "Ah shit, I'm gay" moment.

He has heterochromia. I mean this HC is mostly because his eyes don't match on his different sprites, but his right eye is green! It's usually covered by his hair, so people don't tend to notice.

One reason he hates the beach is because he got stung by a jellyfish. It hurt more than normal because he's extremely sensitive to pain. It wasn't that bad, but this HC is coming from someone who got 1 cm worth of stray jellyfish bits on the webbing between their fingers and cried. God bless the ocean.

Also, he's autistic, with a special interest in programming. This is coming from an autistic person, btw.

-~-~-

Tada! I hope you like these headcanons, anon. I worked hard on them. :) Also, thank you for being the first person to ask for a HC post!!

[grits-galraisedinthesouth]

How is brand Harry & Meghan faring in the US? Not good | Arwa Mahdawi | The Guardian

Is America finally getting bored of Harry and Meghan? It’s starting to look that way. Only a few months ago the pair were media darlings in the US; now they have become a bit of a joke. The animated sitcom South Park gave the first big blow to their stateside brand a couple of weeks ago with an episode featuring a couple bearing an uncanny similarity to the Sussexes. In the episode, titled The Worldwide Privacy Tour, the pair travel the globe with placards saying: “Stop looking at us!” and chanting: “We want privacy!” Harry’s memoir, Spare, is parodied as “Waaaagh”. The couple also get advice from a PR expert who tells them to portray themselves as victims. Not terribly flattering stuff.

Now the comedian Chris Rock has taken aim at the couple in his new Netflix special, Selective Outrage. He dismissed Meghan’s claims about racism in the royal family, saying: “Some of that shit she went through was not racism”, but “in-law” behaviour. He also joked about how it was odd Meghan seemed surprised by the fact the royal family might harbour archaic views. “It’s the royal family! They’re the original racists. They invented colonialism,” Rock said.

Polls also reflect a shift in US-based attitudes towards the pair: their approval ratings have plummeted since the South Park episode. According to polling commissioned for Newsweek, Harry’s popularity has dropped 48 points since December and Meghan’s is down 40. Now Prince Andrew, the guy who palled around with a convicted sex offender, has higher US approval ratings than the Sussexes. Though, to be fair, that seems to be because fewer people in the US know about Andrew’s tawdry dealings than they do in the UK. Because Andrew isn’t parading himself on the US media 24/7 like Harry and Meghan, it’s easier for someone stateside to forget who he is. If only we all had that luxury.

How are Harry and Meghan responding to this seeming shift in attitudes? Well, let’s just say they haven’t exactly put out a statement saying they think Rock and South Park are hilarious and they love nothing more than laughing at themselves, ha ha ha. On the contrary, there were rumours that they were so upset by the South Park episode that they were considering legal action. While they’re certainly fans of calling their lawyers, a representative for the couple told the Guardian that reports the pair might sue were “baseless” and “boring”.

I’ll tell you what’s really boring: the neverending pity-me-please performance the two are foisting upon us. As a staunch anti-royalist I was sympathetic to the couple to begin with – my enemy’s enemy is my friend and all that – but the constant oversharing has jumped the shark. Particularly since it becomes more obvious by the day that their grievances are less to do with systemic inequality and more to do with feeling they didn’t get a big enough slice of the born-with-privilege pie. I mean, come on, you can’t go around complaining about how backwards the royals are while insisting that we plebs refer to you as Duke and Duchess. You want some credibility? 

Give up your stupid titles.

Another unsolicited piece of advice for Duke and Duchess: read the socioeconomic room! You may have noticed that “eat the rich” storylines are a big theme on TV at the moment. From the latest season of Netflix’s You to the White Lotus to Succession, there are more rich-people-are-awful-sociopaths storylines on the telly than you can shake a silver spoon at. This isn’t a weird coincidence. It’s been noted that storylines about rich people tend to vary depending on the economic climate: in good times onscreen obscene wealth can be enjoyable escapism; in bad times it’s more of a hate-watch. And, I don’t need to tell you, the world is currently going through “you need to take out a second mortgage to buy eggs” sort of times.

Finally, Harry: I know you weren’t exactly the most committed student, but maybe pick up a history book. The US has something of a reputation for losing patience with British aristocrats.

Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian columnist

​

[fishmech]

i think one of my favorite things is when people "joke" about what if blockbuster had a streaming service. because like, that was an actual thing that existed? it was honestly about as good as netflix streaming in its time they just had different stuff they got rights to and it didn't really stand out nor could it fix their massive budgetary holes yknow.

"what if blockbuster mailed dvds" they did and blu-ray too. "what if they had those kiosks for dvds and blu-rays and games like redbox" no they also had those. they did everything people idly say they should have done just none of it was going to fix that fact that what ultimately killed them was in fact mcdonalds inventing redbox.

people tend to forget how little netflix streaming actually mattered back when all this was going down. redbox and netflix mailing service were way more relevant to how blockbuster fell apart cuz netflix was dirt cheap, big selection, but you had to wait a bit while redbox was dirt cheap, reduced selection but not that much less than a video store usually had, and you could just go drive and grab that shit and bring it back to any of em. blockbuster was pricey and shitty lol

[inkdropdemon]

Out of all the brothers, I think Donnie would make the best villain. This is probably obvious if you’ve watched the show (he can act a little unhinged, just watch the Snow Day episode)

Before I start, I’m going to go through my counter arguments for his brothers

Raph, while the strongest, is too gentle to intentions cause mass destruction. While he’s tough, he doesn’t seem to go out of his way to hurt people unless his brothers are in danger

Similar to Raph, Mikey is too compassionate to intentionally hurt others. I could see him as a prankster type, causing problems for fun, however he’d probably feel bad when he learns how his actions effect others

I could see Leo possibly being a villain, who doesn’t like a charming swordsman? How his insecurities play into his villainy could also be fun to explore. What stops him from being the best is his destructive capabilities are definitely limited in comparison to his brothers. Plus he tends not to take things seriously, which could lead to his downfall.

Now that I got that out of the way, why is Donnie the best? Well it mostly boils down to his intelligence and expertise with tech.

I don’t think you recognize how impressive Donnie’s tech is. His tech bo is a swiss army knife of a weapon with how much hes packed into it. And the three battle shells he wears are all very useful. There’s also the turtle tank, which he created *by himself* from the Jupiter Jim Moon Buggy. Not to mention that it holds 2 motorcycles and a shit ton of weaponry. Let’s not forget about Sheldon, a sentient ai and essentially Donnie’s son.

I could go on but it is incredible the things Donnie is able to invent. As a villain, he could create whatever he needs for his schemes, provided he gets the resources needed. Considering how the show doesn’t go into detail explaining how he gets them, however, means he doesn’t need to worry about that. Oh, and now that he doesn’t need to be concerned with law or ethics, Donnie could definitely get his hands on some uranium. Be afraid.

Now Donnie isn’t just tech. He’s smart and analytical, which means he won’t just face his enemies head on. He’s the type to study his opponent, figuring out the best way to defeat them (I’ve thought about how he’d beat his brothers too much). Considering that he can hack into every security camera in NY (stated in Hot Soup! The Game), he has the ability to watch and analyze his opponents. Better yet, he can delete any camera footage of him, making it harder for Donnie to be tracked.

Oh, and because Donnie loves music and dance, you know this theater kid would get his own villain song.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go rewatch rottmnt.

[chantsdemarins]

Special Edition Chapter:

Where does Heartbreak get Stored if Not in your Quantum Drive? (Loki X Reader)

🌙A High Moon Story

(Don’t forget to enjoy the new art included as a bonus!)

Okay, so this is entirely out of order, but the sentiment felt suitable for Valentine's Day. High Moon chapters will be back soon and in logical progression!

Although I hope this gives you an idea of where the plot will go. Thank you so much for hanging in here with me! This is lovingly inspired by and created for @muddyorbsblr and their 14 days Valentine’s Day collection!

(This is mostly tame, with a little angsty heat 🔥)

Maybe these folks might reading? @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @goblingirlsarah @vickie5446 @peaches1958 @lokixryss @eleniblue @simplyholll @sarahscribblesles @sarawr-reads @jennyggggrr @ijuststareatstuffhereok89eok89 @mischief2sarawr @fictive-sl0th @thomase1 @inthesofa @huntress-artemisss @michelleleewise @gigglingtigger @kikster606 @xorpsbane @skymoonandstardust @coldnique @mochie85

+Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged if I’ve forgotten you (my ADHD is for shit with tags!!)

“And how should we behave during this Apocalypse? We should be unusually kind to one another, certainly. But we should also stop being so serious. Jokes help a lot. And get a dog if you don’t already have one.”

-Kurt Vonnegut-The Idea Killers, 1984

Former: Big Sur, California Current: Sechanaha

He had found you. Maybe not you exactly, but the replicant living out your life’s work in a pocket of time he finally found the correct coordinates to. If you didn’t have the answers, then Loki couldn’t imagine anyone else would.

You were the reason after all he was suspended in this quantum emotion enabled semi-alive-semi-dead-memory of his former majestic, fantastic superiorly intelligent true-ruler-of-the-nine realms self. You could end his misery, you could “pull the plug” or perhaps, it was more like “send the file” (old human terms from the era the AI technology was invented). You could help him finally reach Valhalla. While Thor and Odin were never his favorites (or so his quantum memory told him) with all he was, he knew he belonged there with them.

As Loki walked closer to your home, his CPU field read through the history of “El Grande Sur” which became “Big Sur”. At some point, the Esalen bots changed it back to the name it had 1,000’s of years before the many shades of “white visitors” with their re-naming ways got ahold of it- “Sechanaha” would be its last and final name. He pondered the way a land was taken over by humans and renamed, owned and seemingly a new course set in motion. It felt much like what had happened to him.

Maybe this was some algorithm of the universe. Some inevitably. Conquer with superior technology, rename (or in Loki’s case, keep his name, memories and emotions but force him to live forever without the people he assumes he once loved) and then make amends. Loki assumed apologies were also part of the algorithm. He expected you to give him a lengthy, extravagant apology.

He would use his newly activated post-AI seiðr to conjure a dagger, point it precisely at your replicant heart processing unit and wait patiently until you said you were sorry and meant it.

Although in all his confidence of his mission he knew he looked beleaguered. The curves of the California coastline had worn his Asgardian leather boots to the quick. His hair was a mess. He hated the fact that even as an AI he cared about what people thought of him. Truly why did he care if you thought he looked terrible? You were the reason he was so miserable. The ridiculousness of his CPU and the delicate sensibilities of his quantum processor were laughable if it wasn’t him going through this crap every day.

Nevertheless-he tried to straighten up his royal prince-without-a-kingdom finery, and be prepared just in case your model had a fight mode programmed somewhere in you (although extremely unlikely you did-as replicant models tend to align with the source material and as far as Loki could tell when reading about you, you had trouble with even killing flies, you had shooed them out the windows of your life).

When Loki arrived at your cedar planked cliff side house, he was seized with the inability to knock or just open the damn door. If he was capable of being nervous maybe, he was. You got so few visitors these days, you lived and worked in a perpetual quiet. Although your quantum dog species approximation field unit companion heard him coming and lit up with his usual alert incandescence.

You were in the middle of taking a long-deserved break from your latest invention and since the lab and your home was so far from the company headquarters in Seoul, you could at times take a load off. Of course, your source human had already created the invention you were re-creating in your coastal lab, but in this time pocket, as a replicant you methodically repeated the past with sincerity and every aberration-every iterative that occurred was recorded-if the past could indeed be changed, the labs in the other time pockets were interested to know.

You had just put a pie in the antique oven your home was equipped with. Although you never ate the things you baked, since you were not a human, you had no way to consume material matter, but you liked to imagine the human you once were eating pie and such things as pan du chocolate, whatever that could be. The memory fields you had access to recorded great joy associated with that particular pastry. You sighed to yourself when you realized someone was at your door. There was no way to recall if anyone had come to your door this century, so you were unsure what to do next. Your quantum dog field unit materialized alongside you as you approached the door, a small comfort.His lick and his bark contained molecular level particles that could adhere to any surface and launch 5th generation nano tech into the matter that was a threat. You glanced down at your dog unit, hoping he understood what to do. The lab in Seoul surely wouldn’t come by unannounced.

You continued to imagine who this possibly could be.

One more knock and the door flung open leaving Loki’s hand motioning mid-air barely missing your face. Quantum unit bristled and lunged forward, you had just enough time to perform the Ba Duan Jin and cease the unit’s actions, luckily it worked, and he stopped short of licking Loki’s other hand. Your face grimaced at the thought had he been successful.

“That’s one way to say hello I guess,” you said finally, staring at the tall stranger in tight head to toe leather.

Loki shifted in his dilapidated boots.

“If you don’t mind sending off your friend there, I’ve come to see Y/N, are you her?”

You shifted in your house slippers, unsure how to answer the ominous looking man.

“Who is asking, I am sure you recognize we don’t get many guests around here.”

Loki took a moment to look around, his surroundings were beyond remote. Where there was once a highway as they were called-it was now a coastal river flowing alongside the crashing Pacific Ocean. There were other houses, but they looked kilometers away and hidden underneath the treelined ridges of cedar. The whole area seemed long abandoned. It was hard to believe the area was Midgard’s premiere Artificial Intelligence lab, but it was-or at least he hoped it still was.

“I don’t imagine you do,” he finally said.

“I’m Loki of Asgard. Or at least I was.”

You looked at him intently, his name rumbling just under your breath. Loki of Asgard.

“Name doesn’t ring a bell. Should I know you?”

Loki looked slightly disappointed, but then found his footing. He was ready to conjure his blades and start the process of his forced apology protocol that he’d been imagining since he finally found you in this pocket universe, but you had that quantum field unit dog approximation, and Loki knew just how dangerous their bark or lick could be.

He’d seen a vista vision replicant melt down instantly back on the Sakaar pocket universe, it was disgusting. The bots charged with cleaning it up were covered in the gelatinous goo and their poor quantum motors exploded. Brief puffs of smoke clouded the main room where Loki witnessed the dreadful event, all beings present that day couldn’t stop coughing for hours. He wasn’t about to do anything that would risk him becoming a sentient gelatinous ball of goo stored on some middle-aged Midgardian scientists’ shelf for eternity. No thank you.

So, he chose his words carefully and plotted his next actions with keen resolve. His charm mode was still active even though he’d had little use for it over the last how many centuries. Living amongst non-emotional entities, he’d had little use for any of his old Norse god programming. Charms, charisma-even his good looks were of little consequence most of the time.

All the beings seemed blind without their emotions. It was a milquetoast world of binary interactions, except for the occasional display of randomness where he might get to use some of his exquisite vocabulary on a service bot and they might just say something cheeky back, but it was usually in reference to crossword puzzles.

You seemed close enough to a service bot in Loki’s approximation, so perhaps some higher range vocabulary repartee would warrant a peaceful invite inside your seemingly cozy abode.

You stood unmoving even if you’d dispatched quantum dog unit to the couch, you weren’t convinced this Loki was friendly.

“My dear, I smell something delicious coming from your kitchen!”

You looked behind you quickly before replying.

“Yes, I just put a pie in the oven.”

“Oh pie!” Loki’s smile was so big he was slightly afraid his proxy coating might snap. He continued.

“You know pie is a deceptively simple dessert, I know it seems quotidian, but the true baker knows that a real pie is a work of art, and the baker should be lauded as both pastry debonair and artist. I am myself a pie auteur and artist. I love watching people bake and I excel at baking myself. If you’d give me a chance, I’m sure we could have a great afternoon baking an assortment of pies!”

You let him prattle on but the more he talked the closer your hand moved to slamming the door in his face. You didn’t know the concept ‘fishy’ but somehow that word appeared in your programming stream.

He might have noticed how the door moved a few centimeters as you rearranged your hand just in case you needed to levy your motion in a fast swoop. His speech programming began to speed up.

“I appreciate making all kinds of pies-savory, sweet-unique varieties like bacon and maple.”

“Bacon?” you said, quizzically.

Loki might have been caught. He’d pulled that word out of his quantum CPU ass so to speak, he had no clue what bacon was. He paused for a moment and tried to go on.

“Oh yes, if you don’t know what that ingredient is, please don’t feel affronted, not everyone knows it, but if you know, you know-as they say.”

“Who is ‘they’?” you pondered out loud. What the hell was he talking about? You had to say something, this man had about 30 seconds left before you rallied your quantum approximation off the couch.

You leaned in a little closer before continuing to speak.

“Let me get this straight, you came all the way out to this pocket universe and just on the off chance I was baking a pie, something you happen to be an expert in baking and eating?”

Loki looked around a little bit, another enormous smile formed on his face, and he continued his pie rhetoric.

“Absolutely, yes, that is exactly why I am here to see you today! Isn’t it marvelous?”

That was it. You didn’t call the approximation off the couch, but you flung the heavy cedar door closed so fast Loki’s nose was almost clipped. You should have gone back to the kitchen, checked on the damn pie or made your way back to the lab to clear your mind of the stranger but you couldn’t. You stood frozen on the other side of the door staring at it. Impressive wood grain, you’d never taken the time to look before.

Loki was also similarly frozen.

It seems that in this pocket universe there were rules of communication he just didn’t understand. But it was you. He knew it, and he had to talk to you. You had created him, and you could destroy him. Another smile threatened to break his proxy skin, he thought to himself, she makes replicant augmented beings and pie. Wow.

He was impressed at your skill set, and a little star struck if he were able to be honest at all. He expected himself to be mad. He expected to immediately rush into his forced apology protocol with you, but he couldn’t.

After what felt like hours outside the door, his sensors detected a richer approximation of apple pie wafting out of the cracks in the old house. If he had a stomach, it would be growling. He decided to speak again, just to see if you might still be on the other side of the door.

“Are you still there by chance?” his words were decidedly softer.

You didn’t know what to say. Maybe? You steeled yourself and went through nearly all the programming you could, until you decided to go off script, you could-it was an ancient program, but you could enable it. You shifted again, and you could feel a surge of confidence running through your CPU clouds. You took a chance.

“I am. What do you really want? It can’t be to sample my baking.”

“Well, if you let me in, I would be delighted to sample some of your handy work, but yes, what you suspect is true, I have other business.”

Loki looked at his large hands, he was fiddling with them. He had been so angry for so long. He’d been prepared to unleash it all on you, but now he just couldn’t. His impulse ions were directing him to sit down in your kitchen and let you feed him and make him some tea.

The memory of eating, the memory of tea pulsed through his quantum RAM clouds, he felt lightheaded, if that was possible. He’d never experienced that feeling ‘lightheaded’ but he knew it conceptually. He could hear bird proxy’s singing-and the ocean breeze was dancing against his face. Then everything went blank. It was the most pleasant feeling.

You heard the thump. It sounded like one of the rocks from the ridge came tumbling down and hit your front door. You jumped back and then panicked. If that was an impulse, you could replicate. Before any more programming could inhibit you, your hands opened the door and Loki’s body slumped onto your slippered feet.

“Oh no,” your voice was shaky as you immediately grabbed him by the collar of his leather jacket and pulled him inside your house.

“That’s one way to get inside I guess,” you said out loud as you dragged him into the living room.

The approximation field unit dog jumped off the couch and used his canine Ba Duan Jin to assist you. You raced into the kitchen with no idea how you would revive him. You weren’t even sure what he was. A fear came through you that he might be human. Or some other replicant model that was not in use anymore. Something was out of place, and it wasn’t you.

You were right where you should be, in your lab, completing your augmented being protocol in this pocket universe, checking for time aberrations that the lab in Seoul was recording.

You were a not the human who created the augmented being protocol, you were her approximation. This man was likely that too. You kneeled next to him and fought the urge to push the stray strands of black hair from his handsome face. He was handsome, some part of your programming understood that even if was a very odd concept and one you had no idea at all what to do with.

When Loki woke up, he all but swore he’d finally made it to his beloved Valhalla. Who knew there was pie in Valhalla. His sensors were firing double time with a memory laden onslaught that was now engulfing him.

His vision field was blurred and when he saw you, he could see your golden wings, you were the Valkyrie that took him home. He felt you beside him and he wondered if you’d also go to bed with him-even though you had no idea what that was, the vision of himself naked without his leather finery and you naked in just your golden wings burned through his CPU at rapid speed. He spoke finally with gravel in his voice.

“Valkyrie thank you for finally bringing me home, would you allow me to kiss you as a show of my gratitude?”

The words rattled from his mouth, but they were drifting and soft, their tone had an unusual register that you could not discern.

“Valkyrie,” you said out loud to yourself or maybe to the approximation field unit who was eagerly at your side.

“Kiss? What?” words stumbled from your mouth this time purposely at the slowly waking Loki.

What was this being talking about. It couldn’t be possible.

He couldn’t be a Norse god, but you knew exactly who they Valkyrie were, even if it was arcane to know so. You had the entire history of Midgard religions stored in your CPU, like all beings on the planet in this era.

Even though it was the responsibility of other historian bots to keep this wisdom and use it for the new rituals, you at least knew of it, and you knew of Valkyries and Valhalla, yet it was a concept so foreign to process, your own timeline felt dented by it.

You placed your hand on his shoulder and tried to rouse him further. You knew what kissing was too, but you couldn’t process it further, even though you were programmed with less fear than your human approximation had, something still flashed through you that threatened to shut your CPU down as well. You had to keep alert. You had to focus.

“Loki,” you said, in an equally quiet voice, you wanted to speak plainly to him. He deserved that much, he must have come from quite a distance to reach you.

“Sorry to say, I’m no Valkyrie.”

“I’m a replicant bot here mirroring the invention of augmented being technology, something that happened so long ago no one truly cares about it except the history bots and the ritual bots. I don’t even know if there is even a lab monitoring anything anymore.”

You hoped there was, you’d hate to think all your work was for nothing, but so many centuries on your own would lead one to make some assumptions. Loki’s eyes slowly opened. He must have heard you.

“Loki are you…on….?” You spoke.

Was that the right word? You didn’t know if gods could turn on or off, or if they just had a perpetual energy source like the Midgard sun to keep them running in a timeless swirl. Loki was indeed ‘on’-but he also didn’t want to give anything away. He’d made it inside apparently. He realized he wasn’t in Valhalla-he was on a couch. A rather uncomfortable one at that.

“I see,” he whispered.

Loki remembered his ‘dream’ he was having, he remembered the idea of kissing, the idea of being in your bed, with you. A flush coursed through him and his eyes opened widely. He turned his head and placed his hands down across where his pleasure unit had been installed, at the middle of his body. Something sure had woken up along with him! In all his years as an augmented being it had been few and far between that he used his pleasure unit, all the bots in his pocket universe just liked to drink fizzy fixer drinks and talk about the politics of the day, but somewhere in the deepest parts of his programming he remembered something about his former self.

He remembered passion, he remembered bedding women and men, he remembered them crying in pleasure as he put what he once called his ‘cock’ inside them. He knew there were rituals he’d participated in on Midgard, he’d even loved-or he thought possibly he had. A torrent of knowing descended upon him but he still maintained his cool, while his pleasure unit simmered down. Although if he didn’t stop thinking about the so called past, his pleasure unit would never recalibrate back into idle mode. He looked at you carefully. You were stunned once again. You’d been struggling with the idea of a god laying on your couch, but a god with a pleasure unit was something you simply could not make sense of.

Loki looked down at his hands, still covering his ‘cock’, and he flushed again, or something like that at least.

“Oh dear, I am truly sorry. I must have been dreaming,” words rolled from his lips while you still sat staring.

“You dream?” you said, attempting to make the conversation about some of the other truly anomalous things happening all at once.

“Dreams were the domain of the human, we don’t really…I mean…I don’t…but what are you Loki?”

“I do dream Y/N,” he said, sitting up unceremoniously.

“You do?”

You were feeling weak. Something in your program felt like you should eat, even though replicant bots did not eat. It was like an ancient file had burst open and a million synaptic waves were flooding your usual programming. You turned to Loki and found more words.

“We should eat, let me cut us some of the pie, it’s cold by now but it’s probably still good.”

You dashed into the kitchen and pried the pie pan from the oven rack, you dipped your finger sensor into the middle, sure enough it was icy, but no matter. You hastily opened the cabinets searching for something you knew was a plate, something you put pie on, for all the pies you’d baked why in the world did you have no plates?

Worse you opened the drawers and found you had no forks either. Surely the human you used to be left something, you opened every drawer and every cabinet, dust flying in all directions. You stood on the old, cracked foot stool and ran your hands across the top cabinet shelf distributing more dust into the atmosphere, when you felt it. A ting against your sensors, you wrapped your fingers around it, and sure enough there was something there.

“Got something!” you nervously called back to Loki who was still sitting in a little daze himself.

Looking at the pairs of wooden sticks in your hand, you couldn’t be sure, but maybe they were used for food? You held them up to Loki, waving them in the air.

“Look familiar to you at all?”

He squinted his blue eyes and looked closer.

“Ah, those are chopsticks and yes you do use those for food consumption,” Loki said expertly.

“Oh wonderful, phew,” you said with more energy pulsing through the vines of circuits under your proxy skin.

You sat down next to Loki on the couch-pie and chopsticks in your right hand, scooting aside the approximation field unit dog with your left-causing a small approximation yip from him.

“Oh, this looks absolutely delicious, thank you so much Y/N, I feel unworthy for you to share your baking with me, I just descended upon you like this unannounced,” Loki sheepishly laughed.

Lucky (or unlucky) for you both, there were two sets of chopsticks. You took yours out of the wrapper and so did Loki, seemingly following your lead.

The approximation dog was on the port side the couch, you, the pie, and Loki making up the starboard. It was a humorous conglomeration of entities, huddled together.

“Guests first,” you said pushing the pie pan towards Loki.

Loki smiled and deftly wielded one of the chopsticks into the center of the pan in a slaying fashion, much like he had practiced doing to you with one of his blades when he enacted his forced apology protocol.

“Ah, there we go,” Loki said looking proudly at you.

Having no real idea what to do, if he was right or wrong-you simply followed suit, you took one of your chopsticks and duplicated his firm stroke placing your chopstick full hilt into the pie alongside his.

“Lovely! Seems we did it, don’t you think?” Loki looked confidently in your direction.

You were deep in your programming for a while before you spoke again.

“Loki, you don’t eat, do you?”

Loki looked down at his boots and up again at you.

“No. You don’t either do you?”

“No,” you said in an echo of his sentiment.

There was something sad, or what your programming was telling you was sad. Loki looked sad. He was slow to speak next.

“I remember the god I was used to eat though-I remember loving food. I remember loving lots of things.”

Loki’s programming temporally drifted once again to kissing, to bedding women. He looked at you and thought if he couldn’t eat anymore, he could try kissing. He could still do that he thought.

He hadn’t expected any of this programming. He’d come to ask you to turn him off permanently, but now all he wanted to do was kiss you. Loki hadn’t even had the chance to ask you for your help. Explain Valhalla to you. He felt the darkness springing through his CPU, he was likely shorting out again, or near to it. He tried to steady himself, clear his programming to silence mode, but it didn’t work.

You noticed how unsteady he looked, and you placed your hands on him, which in turn only seemed to make him grow more unsteady. Perhaps he was dying finally. Perhaps this was what the norns had designed in their infinite timeless wisdom. He was going to get to Valhalla after all if this replicant being would just kiss him, or maybe he should kiss you? He couldn’t remember how kisses worked and it frustrated him to no end.

“I want to kiss you,” Loki finally just came out with it.

“WHAT,” you countered.

“Do you know what a kiss is?”

He sounded ridiculous by any standard in any universe pocket or otherwise, his former god self was in disgust at the vulnerable desperation his CPU quantum drive was producing. You did know what kissing was, you thought. You closed your eyes and remained in quiet mode.

Loki focused himself, feeling the drift of blankness near-he acted quickly by taking your head in his hands and placing his lips on yours in one swift motion much like he did with the chopstick in the pie. Your eyes instinctually remained closed, and you felt your programming do something extraordinary. You kissed him back. Deeply, passionately, awkwardly, and full of memory of your former human life. It was like the act of kissing unlocked more of your human’s life and more of the secrets of humanity in general. Kissing was a prelude, an invitation. It was used when you ran out of words. You pulled away from Loki and opened your eyes but his eyes remained closed.

What in the world was next?

[snootysnoots]

Guess who’s back bitches, I got more Luca Balsa x reader shit cause this mama in the head 24/7.

Random Luca Balsa x Reader headcanons (pt. 2)

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♡This bitch doesn’t sleep much obviously, he is a hard working man. He needs to bring money home somehow (do they even get paid in the manner? I don’t think so but for today they do now). However, if he is having one of he’s sleepless nights. He’ll take a break from work and go see you, your probably asleep (I mean hopefully but knowing some of you guys probably not) and if you are he’ll kiss you on the cheek or your forehead. He’ll stay there for a while just watching as you sleep…I’m a non-creepy way btw. He just likes seeing you relaxed.

♡I feel like he’s the type of boyfriend who doesn’t sleep or eat much but if you do the same thing, he gets mad at you. He’ll ask why haven’t you eat and don’t you know that’s not healthy. He’s a bit of a hypocrite but he does it with love. He does with love I tell you.

♡This is just a random Luca headcanon but he would definitely look at the stars from time to time. If he isn’t working on an invention. He likes to go outside or look through a window and see the stars. It’s something he does to get he’s mind off of thing. I think he would of done this when he was still in prison. It was a way for him to escape the pain of just being in their.And if he has a s/o expect at lest a few stargazing dates. Just the two of you and the stars…And maybe a few of the other guys.

♡Luca ,if he isn’t busy, like to just do things with you. Doesn’t matter if it’s cooking or gardening, he just likes being with you. It’s also gives him inspiration for new inventions to make. :D

♡omg, he would make matching bracelets. He spent weeks learning how to make this (I like to think Robbie was there to help him…I want to make platonic Robbie headcanons now, I love this baby so much). So, please wear this forever and don’t take it off. Unless needed too. Luca for awhile refused to take his off until it got stuck to a plank of wood during a match…That was an interesting match that day. He still wears it, he just takes it off during matches or when he is working on an invention. Safety first people.

♡Luca doesn’t enjoy sleeping, it gives him nightmares from he’s time in prison and the accident. So, he refuses to sleep but he also knows he needs to sleep. If he sleeps it has to be with you. He knows he is in safe hands with you. So please, hold this man as he sleeps and take care of him when he wakes up from a nightmare. He just wants love.

♡Luca carries a notepad with him everywhere. He tends to forget most things or people since he has a bit of brain damage. I like to think he has wrote everyone’s name in their and important things about them especially if they are friends. He writes about you a lot, he has a book about you and just you. He doodles heart everywhere. As I mentioned in my last headcanon, he puts his last name with your first name. That’s how he writes your name, it’s not (Y/n) (L/n). No, who even is that it’s (Y/n) Balsa.

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There I’ve done it. My second part, this man is just in my mind all the time and I’ve been wanting to do another one since I was pleased with the first one. I hope everyone enjoyed this one too. :D

[orionsangel86]

I remember also seeing somewhere that someone said RTD would have to put blood, sweat, and tears into proving that people wouldn’t be showing up to the BBC with pitchforks and torches for them to even consider having a trans character who was as well represented as Rose. However, I should also point out that I know absolutely nothing about the BBC since I’m a born and raised American, so I could definitely be wrong on how true that is (even though I absolutely would not be surprised if it is). But also if it is true, rounds of applause because I can bet most media networks here still could never for a good handful of years.

Basically I think the fact that it was only 144 complaints out of over 7 million people watching is very telling that whatever proof RTD probably had to show to the BBC was 100% solidified. Dude proved that it really is just the conspiracy nuts and people of the Fox News religion that make the world seem like it’s worse than it is.

Yeah so the BBC is public funded TV rather than relying on advertising for income so their whole deal is that they SHOULD be representing all tax payers in their programming. A lot of older conservative people tend to forget this and feel that anything that deviates from the "norm" is an incorrect use of "their money" so they get on their high horses and complain like the snowflakes they are.

The BBC SHOULD be pushing boundaries and taking risks with their stuff, but they are still resistant and no where near as forward thinking as say Channel 4 - whose whole deal was about pushing boundaries and attracting a younger more liberal audience.

I can well believe RTD had to fight for Rose's inclusion but the truth is the "trans panic" is very much an invention of the right wing media, right wing politicians, and hateful assholes like JK Rowling. Regular people in the UK quite frankly don't give a shit. They may get irritated for a bit when a new click bait article appears with some incendiary comment like "nurses no longer allowed to call female people "women" and have to refer to everyone by their genitalia" which we know is a bullshit twist on the truth but after rolling their eyes and having a few morons go on facebook rants, no one is gathering pitchforks and torches in the UK with a mind to round up and attack all trans people. Yes there is potentially a rise in hate crimes DUE TO the medias trans panic invention, but I hope that the minimal complaints and the popularity of that episode can at least show some trans people that the UK is not as bad as it has been made out to be these past few years.

Thats also partly why i have commented on two posts about the 144 complaints now, because i can see trans people on tumblr getting upset about it when in the bigger picture its totally irrelevant and nothing to be worried about. You are just as likely to be taken in by the media's fake trans panic as anyone else, but young fearful trans people are more likely to get upset by it when its all been blown out of proportion. 144 complaints is a regular episode of Eastenders. The BBC wont pay attention to that nonsense so please take comfort in that.

[finnritter]

For the ask game: Finwe :DD

Ask Game: Thank you so much!! Turns out I had a lot more to say about him than I initially thought, considering that he's normally not one of the characters I focus on a lot.

Finwë

one aspect about them i love

He is basically THE character that set everything in the history of the Noldor rolling, beginning with his role as the born leader of the Noldor, giving birth to one of the most influential elves of all time, his invention of the concept of step-family, which caused a chain reaction of trouble, and then dying in the perfect moment to give his people an extra burst of rebellious energy. Even though his role in the actual silm is mostly passive (I mean… he’s dead for almost all of it after all), he is a character that you can’t really avoid; no matter which parts/characters you focus on, if it’s one of the Eldar, chances are high that you encounter Finwë/the impact he had on said charater one way or another. Which leads to so many different interpretations of him, some more flattering than others. It’s actually that vagueness linked with his massive background influence that make him interesting to me – even though I don’t have a very fixed characterisation of him myself yet.

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

I’m not super passionate about him, so I can’t think of any misunderstandings I desperately want to clear up, but I do think that people tend to forget, just how old and experienced he is and how much different his upbringing and youth was, compared to most of the Calaquendi, including all of his descendants and possibly both of his wives. The guy has lived in ME for a considerable amount of time, he has experience with travel and fighting like almost no other elf in Aman has. He has seen some shit. Of course, none of his descendants can ask him about this anymore when it finally begins to matter to them, but still, this must have been highly influential to his personality and possibly the way he raised his children.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

He very carefully makes sure to treat all of his many grandchildren equally and to spend time with all of them on their own sometimes, whenever he can. It’s one of the few things that can stress him out considerably because he tries so hard to keep a mental (or sometimes physical) list of which grandchild currently likes which toy/hobby or what he gave all of them for their begetting days/similar occasions so that he doesn’t actually spoil one more than the others. This is a) due to the fact that he does not want to repeat the mistakes he did with his own children, and b) because he really enjoys being a grandfather and having children around once more – they grow up so fast, after all.

one character i love seeing them interact with

Fëanor. His relationship with all of his children is super interesting and complex, but Fëanor takes the cake in this one. They are basically the two only people who kind of understand each other’s trauma after Míriel’s death and yet never manage to actually comprehend what the other needs to heal. I do think Finwë really tried his best to help his son, but ultimately he never actually seemed to understand that the choice of remarriage was a choice he made for himself and not for the two of them. And he probably tried to make Fëanor understand this choice and the rest of his family understand Fëanor in all the wrong ways, only deepening the rift between them. I’ll never get over the pain of that, this whole affair sucked so much for everyone involved.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

Some of the other Cuiviénen elves, especially Ingwë, Olwë and Thingol! Either in their youth, which as I said is actually a pretty cool and very unexplored part of Elvish history, or some interactions with Olwë and Ingwë in Aman, which could also be interesting.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

He loved Míriel and Indis in very different ways, which was a huge part of the reason why he considered remarrying at all. Míriel always inspired him with her own drive for creation, her affinity for fogetting everything around her – no matter if it was about her work or her love for him. Her passion and spontaneity always felt to him like going on an adventure together, a kind of “you and me against the world”-situation. His love for Indis is more steady, he loves how she supports him but also isn’t afraid of putting him in his place when necessary. They communicate a lot (even though he does not always listen to her when it’s important) and the love they share generally feels more like coming home and safety than like an adventure.

[barbiegirldream]

One thing that I absolutely despise in general with controversy is “he should have known better”- which I was thinking of because it seems to only ever apply to Dream. I think some people forget that the dsmp streamer audience is extremely queer and female, and many have a general understanding of liberal/leftist politics because of social media.

I know so many people who did not receive historial education outside of state-mandated guild lines (usually in southern conservative states who had Native American genocide, the history of slavery, Japanese internment, etc. downplayed), who were not in a position where they ever thought to educate themselves outside of their family values because that’s what they grew up believing. There is a level of geographical privilege for many people when it comes to education (being that the west and the east coasts tend to learn a less, though still very, downplayed version of historial atrocities), and there is also a privilege in not being taught about racism/anti-semitism/colonialism/etc. by family who has lived and died by it. I grew up liberal because my mother is a person of color who faced racism every day in our Midwest town and made herself involved in politics. My white friends grew up more conservative leaning because they did not have that type of figure. My friends from the PNW are more liberal than my southern friends despite growing up on the same media because of differences in teachings.

It’s good that you knew better, but there are a million deeply-rooted systemic factors as to why someone else wouldn’t. As long as they are educating themself and have not directly harmed another person out of their ignorance, let them grow. Disallowing people the chance to change pushes movements back. Educate one person and they will educate their children, and their friends, and then their friends will educate their children, and so on so forth.

And my thing about it is well tough shit Dream didn’t know better then and if you expected perfection or him to invent time travel well he can’t offer you that. Like Dream said all he can offer is his best right now. That’s all anyone can do