Know It's For The Better
If this has already been done I apologize, the concept is probably not super original LOL
CW: Girlie is drunk!!
Fem! Reader
Contains: George’s younger sister! Reader, Matty taking care of drunk girlie, mutually secret pining, SICKLY amount of yearning, they’re so in love but so stupid :(, reader is turned down because she’s drunk, sad sad sad
WC: ~4,300
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You get too drunk and Matty comes to take care of you. The lines of a longtime friendship are blurred.
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“C’mon…” Matty mutters, keeping you supported with an arm under your shoulders as he leads you out of the bar.
“Matty? Matty, what are you doing here, you’re supposed to be… doing music…” you giggle, almost tripping over your own feet as you lean into him.
“Yeah, I should be doing music, but right now I’m looking out for you,” he says, shaking his head as you laugh at nothing in particular, “you really got yourself into a mess tonight, hm?”
“What do you mean?”
Your brows furrow as you look up at him, pouting like you still don’t fully understand why he’s here. Matty uses one hand to open his car door, the other firmly wrapped around you. He shoots you a look, his eyebrows almost raising high enough to meet his hairline. There are a few beats of silence like he’s allowing you a moment to realize how ridiculous the question is. Your blank stare tells him all he needs to know.
“I mean you’re plastered,” he sighs, helping you into the car seat, your lack of balance making it somewhat difficult.
“Ohh… yeah,” you nod in agreement that you are in fact plastered, shitfaced, sloshed, and whatever he’d like to call it.
You slump back against the seat as your eyes flutter shut, smiling to yourself as you relish in the warmth of being so totally wasted, the world spinning just slightly. Matty is silent as he rounds the car to get into the driver's seat, now reaching to strap in your seat belt. You crack your eyes open just enough to catch the clench of his jaw.
“Andrea told me on the phone that you begged her not to call your brother to come and get you. Which is why I’m here instead,” he explains, not seeming too impressed.
Right. Your brother, George. That was the last person you wanted to come and get you, already knowing the lecture that would come with it. You vaguely remember insisting that Andrea call Matty instead, knowing he’d take good care of you like he always has. He glances over at you to make sure you’re still upright as he starts his car, the engine rumbling to life with a purr.
The drive is quiet as you stare out of the windshield, watching the street lights streak across the night like they’re melting. His hand moves across the center console to turn on the radio, the station already being set to his favorite, indie classics. He never did like silence, Matty fills it any way he can.
“What were you drinking anyways, darling?” he asks, sounding more curious than patronizing.
You love that about Matty. He’s older than you and certainly protective of you, but he doesn’t always fault you for wanting to act your age, for doing something on the wilder side. Some might call it a bad influence, he prefers “learning from the best”.
“Umm,” you squint like you’re trying to remember what was in the shots, “tequila.”
“Tequila! Wow, you really went for it, didn’t you?” he chuckles before clicking his tongue, knowing damn well that you only drink tequila when you’re trying to crash and burn.
You frown, sensing a slightly frustrated lilt in his voice. Maybe you had actually gone too far this time. You shift your body to face him, your cheek smushed against the headrest. Your stomach lurches at the idea of him being upset with you, especially since you’d been tying yourself in knots since you were a teen to appeal to him, to be the kind of girl he would want. Suddenly, you’re 17 again and you’re staring at yourself in the mirror, picking apart every piece of yourself that you think he wouldn’t like. Over and over. Anything for him to notice you. Your face is illuminated ruby by the traffic lights, the car rolling to a stop. Matty drums his fingers against the steering wheel in time with the soft beat of the radio.
“Are you mad?” you mumble, your chin tilting down slightly as you struggle to keep your head up.
“Mad?” Matty echoes, his eyes snapping to you with a newfound softness, a vastness of gentle, honey brown, “No, no, I just- what got into you tonight?”
Relief washes over you like the gentlest wave, you know even if he was mad, he couldn’t stay that way, not when you’re draped over his passenger’s seat. You’re proudly self-proclaimed to be his weak spot, it’s always been that way. A dazed smile pulls at your lips at the confirmation, and he just playfully rolls his eyes, turning his attention back to the road.
“I dunno. Was just having fun,” you shrug, toying with the strap of your seatbelt.
Matty knows better, but he doesn’t push for more details. Not yet anyway. You can practically see his thoughts racing as he stares at the yellow lines of the street, his lips pressed into a thin line. But, he can pick your mind about why you got so drunk later, right now he’s trying to focus on the main task: getting you home and safely in bed. He’s already mentally mapping where you keep your Tylenol so he can leave some on your nightstand for you before he goes. Now comes the fun part as he parks his car in front of your apartment building, he gets to take you up the stairs. Joy.
It’s a slow process, Matty instructing you to hold on tight and “don’t fucking let go, you’ll crack your pretty head open”. You laugh like it’s the most well-crafted joke he’s ever told but still abide by his word. Your giggles ring through the stairwell, a bright sound like a melody to Matty’s ears. One step at a time, you make your way up the stairs, successfully keeping your head in one piece with his hold keeping you steady. When did he get so strong? You almost wish there were just a few more steps so his hands could stay on you, ringed fingers firmly pressed into your skin.
“Stay with me here, we’re gonna get you to bed, okay?” he reassures, looking over at you every couple of seconds.
“Nooo, wait, I don’t wanna go to bed. I’m not tired,” you complain, protesting with pursed, glossy lips.
“Not tired, huh? You were about seconds away from nodding off in the car,” he chuckles, giving your shoulder an affectionate squeeze.
He doesn’t bother with letting you aimlessly fish through your purse for your keys once you reach your front door, taking the bag from you to stick his hand in and retrieve them. Matty keeps you steadily at his side as he unlocks the door, slinging the strap of your purse over his shoulder. The door pushes open with a creak and he ushers you inside, the hand on your lower back sending a shiver skittering up your spine. He follows behind you, watching as you wobble your way to the couch instead of to your bedroom. He rakes a hand through his curls streaked with gray before pressing his fingers into his temples, knowing this night was going to be longer than expected. You drop down onto the cushions with your head tilted back, a lazy smile plastered on your face.
“Darling, bed is this way, you can’t sleep on the couch,” he says gently, placing your purse down on your coffee table.
You ignore him as he approaches you, instead frowning as you reach to soothe your fingers over the red marks marred into your heels from your shoes. Without missing a beat and without a word, Matty drops to his knees in front of you, batting your hands away from your feet. He carefully undoes the straps of your heels, nimble fingers grazing your skin. You can’t help but stare at the spectacle of Matty Healy being on his knees before you, his muss of curls shadowing his tired eyes as he works. He places both heels to the side after sliding them off, giving your knee a pat before he stands up to his full height. Immediately, you grasp the sleeve of his button-down shirt, like the thought of him being any further away is unbearable.
“Stay? Chat with me. I’d like to chat,” you suggest, your fingers curling into the crisp fabric.
“You’re unbelievable, really,” he mutters, shaking his head, “Fine. But we’re not falling asleep here, okay?”
You nod eagerly, you’d agree to any terms he set as long it meant he’d stay. Matty sits down next to you, allowing you to curl up against him with your head resting on his shoulder, your arms loosely around him. A tentative hand snakes up your back to your arm, holding you there as he stares forward, knowing his heart might burst if he looks down at you all cozied up to him. His thumb gently strokes up and down against your skin, like he’s confining himself from touching you any more than just that. Matty asks if he can get you anything, but you decline, not needing anything other than this moment. Who were you to ask for more? The gentle rhythm is lulling you into a bit of a daze, but you force your eyes to stay open to have the privilege of gazing upon him when he’s so close. So warm. So real. You find yourself studying his features, half-lidded eyes searching his face.
“I think I’m jealous of you,” you admit, your voice low.
Matty lets out a gasping sort of laugh, his eyes crinkling at the corners with mirth. What on earth were you on about?
“Jealous of me? Why?” he smiles, an amused glint in his eyes.
“You’re so beautiful.”
Matty’s expression changes, shifting into something you can’t quite read. His lips part with surprise, but his words catch in his throat. You move your head off of his shoulder to get a better view of him, reaching out slowly to cup his face as you shift your body. His hand on your arm keeps you steady, knowing you could easily topple over. You’ve never been so bold as to touch him this way in your whole life. Matty clears his throat, a crooked smile forming on his lips.
“Guys can’t be beautiful, sweetheart,” he says.
Oh, but they can. You’ve been quietly admiring his beauty for so long, how could he say such a thing? You’ve watched him change over time, seen him grow from a gangly, unsure, freckle-faced thing to a confident man who slicks back his unruly hair and wears button-down shirts instead of faded band tees. You thought every version of him was beautiful in his own way.
Silently, you take one of your hands and begin to trace the features of his face, delicately drawing your fingertips along the bridge of his nose, the slope of his forehead, and the slight rosy hue of his cheeks. Every bit of him is perfection to you. He opens his mouth like he’s about to question what you’re doing, his eyebrows drawing together, but he doesn’t make a sound. He just stares back at the focused look on your face, noticing your quiet wonderment, your gentle, sparkling adoration. It’s like you’re dissecting him, and it’s making him feel so exposed to you like you’ve stripped him of everything right to his very soul. He tells himself that you’re just drunk, you don’t mean any of it, but that doesn’t change the way his heart is intensely thrumming against his ribs faster and faster. No one had ever touched him that way before, so delicately, and he certainly hadn’t expected to like it so much. He feels like he could melt right into the cushions. He loves you. Loves you loves you loves you.
You let out a satisfied hum as you finish, sliding your hands off of his cheeks and down onto his chest instead, absentmindedly drawing little swirls with your nails against his shirt. His body shudders just slightly at the feeling, a tingly sensation erupting under your touch.
“You done feeling up my face and shit?” he teases, trying to play off how you’ve just flustered him to his bones.
You just beam at him, haziness written all over your expression as you let your head drop to his shoulder again. You chat a little longer about trivial things, Matty keeping the conversations simple so you can keep up. He asks you if your favorite color is still the same as it was when you were younger. When you mutter out a “yes”, suddenly, it’s like his whole world has been painted with it. You smile to yourself that he even remembered. His fingers gently trail up and down your arm, almost like his fingertips are ghosting over your skin. A few beats of silence pass before Matty goes for the heart of the issue, the question like a bucket of water over your head.
“Are you gonna tell me why you actually got so wasted?” he murmurs, glancing at you through the corner of his eye.
“... Was just feeling… sorta lonely, or something. Sorry for myself, and all that,” you sigh, not entirely sure why you’re telling him something that sounds so pathetic, but your words are tumbling out faster than you can process them.
Matty hums thoughtfully, feeling as you bury yourself further into his neck, like you’re trying to hide from him, from reality. He knows he’s dampening your fun a little, reminding you of why it all happened, but he just couldn’t leave it alone, not when he knew you were hurting. You distract yourself by drawing small, languid swirls on his chest, the beat of his heart keeping you grounded.
“What happened? I thought you were fiercely independent. A one-woman show,” he snickers, thinking back to the exasperation he was met with when he’d asked why you were still single (“I don’t need a boyfriend to be happy, Matty. I have aspirations, you know. I’m focused on more important things,” you’d preached.)
When you say nothing in response, the realization creeps up on him that teasing you isn’t the right approach at the moment. Clearly, even you weren’t above the lamentations of the heart. You didn’t need a jab at how your fierce independence was what led you to bed alone every night. He swallows thickly, as if literally swallowing his pride before he speaks again, his tone laced with what you could only label as tenderness from the normally brash man.
“What’s been on your mind?”
“I’m gonna fucking die alone,” you groan, covering your face with your hands, having totally forgotten that you were wearing makeup.
He stifles a laugh, both at how you’ve smudged your eyeliner and because of your intoxicated overreaction. Obviously, this wasn’t a joke to you, and he needed to get this right. He raises his hand slowly, brushing stray strands of hair away from your face. Your stomach swoops, you swear you’ve seen this in a dream before.
“You’re a lovely girl, sweetheart. Anyone who doesn’t see that is either stupid or blind. You’ll find what you’re looking for, and you won’t die alone, silly,” he says, punctuating the word “silly” with a poke to your side.
A lovely girl. He thought you were a lovely girl. One that wouldn’t die alone. That’s… comforting, you suppose, even if it’s in an odd way. Part of you wonders if you’ll die with your feelings for him held close to your chest. The other part isn’t sure if you could truly hide it that long, or if your devotion would spill from your clutches like water between your fingers. Would he drink it from your palms if it did?
“Do you ever get lonely, Matty?” you ask in return, your words slightly slurred.
Matty pauses. Seemingly, he didn’t expect this to be turned around on him. He makes an awkward “erm” sound as he evaluates the question. With countless adoring fans, many of them being gorgeous women, how could he ever feel alone? It wouldn’t make any sense. So why does the void never go away? Why does coming home after throwing himself into his work at the studio feel so totally melancholic? He’s supposed to be living his dream.
“I suppose sometimes I do. But that’s just being human, innit?” he shrugs, ignoring the pang in his chest.
Your fingers pause their patterns, stilling on his shirt. You allow your hand to press flat over his heart, feeling it thrum under your palm. What if this was it? You’re both lonely and after all, he just said he thinks you’re lovely. Urges rattle at the back of your mind, you’re replaying every single moment that he’s looked at you a little too long, every time that his touch created sparks from a lingering brush. It had to all have been real, you weren’t crazy. Your head is swimming, you’re moving before you can even fully process it, and it feels like the room is tilting with your body. With your hands on his shoulders, you wobble as you lift one leg over his lap to straddle him. Matty’s eyes go wide, he hastily reaches out and grasps your hips, trying to keep you steady. You feel like you’re burning up from the inside, you can only think about him, his cologne, his calloused fingertips, his mouth, his tattooed skin. Hot, liquid need is consuming you, eroding any bit of rationality left.
“We could help each other, y’know?” you suggest, your voice dripping with implication.
Matty glances down at your lips for a moment, but he tears his eyes away just as quickly as if he’d been burned. He looks stunned, his body totally rigid against the couch as his fingers dig into your hips, his blunt nails biting at your skin through your clothes. You look like a wet dream perched on his lap like that, but the very idea of this continuing when you were in this state made Matty’s stomach churn. He shakes his head, swallowing hard as he starts to speak, his voice strained as he tries to reason with you.
“Darling, listen to me-”
“No one would have to know. George wouldn’t know, it could be… it could be a secret,” you interrupt, biting your lip as you speak in a hushed voice.
The reminder of your brother’s existence just added to the urgency of getting you off of his lap. Hell, he’d probably wring Matty’s neck just for not immediately taking you to your room and promptly leaving. He didn’t want you to be a secret like you were some kind of dirty indulgence for him. No, you didn’t deserve that, and it frankly broke his heart that you would let him treat you that way.
“No. We can’t,” he asserts, his tone coming out much firmer.
Many people think “heartache” is just an expression, but they’ve never felt the actual squeeze in their chest. A sobering rush goes straight to your head as your heart clenches, shame flooding your body. You loosen your hold on his shoulders, letting your hands drop to your sides. You take a shuddering breath, stammering something that neither of you can decipher because of how scrambled your thoughts are. Part of you wants to beg, to tell him you’ll be the best he’d ever had if he let you. But you don't, you let everything come crashing down around you.
“You’re drunk, you’re not thinking straight. I absolutely will not take advantage of that,” Matty says softly, watching your face drop.
“But- but I… I just wanted to… wanted you…”
“I know.”
Matty gently slides you off of his lap, feeling like the biggest monster in the world. He knows he’s doing exactly what he should, but the look on your face has guilt gnawing at his insides. Silence settles over the two of you like a layer of snow, you wrap your arms around your body to shield yourself from its frigidity. He’s about to apologize, to tell you how much he’d love to quell your loneliness another time but you speak first, your voice shockingly even, like you hadn’t had a drop to drink.
“Can you just take me to my room?”
He’s quiet for a moment before nodding, sensing your almost palpable embarrassment and regret. Matty gets up off of the couch first, reaching his hands out to you to help you up. It feels bittersweet to take them as you stand, finding his touch both comforting and sickening. You want him near but also want him as far away as possible, it’s like the push and pull of the cruelest magnet.
He helps you sit down on your bed, your little black dress starkly standing out against your soft white sheets. You have a faraway look on your face, and Matty has no clue what to say or do to make any of this better. He knows he can’t pick up the pieces, but he slowly reaches out to rub away some of the mascara that’s smudged under your eyes. You’re trying your hardest to bite back tears, shaking your head as he asks you if you want to change or take off your makeup. You don’t know how to describe the feeling in your stomach as anything other than disgusting. You just want to sleep and forget.
“Oh, my dear…” he murmurs sympathetically, “I’ll let you get some rest, okay?”
You find yourself a little panicked at the idea of him leaving your side, automatically grasping his arms. You coax him closer, despite the shame biting at your ankles, nipping at your skin. Quietly, he understands. He eases himself into your bed next to you, letting you curl up at his side, your head on his chest. You feel it rise and fall under your cheek with each breath. Slowly, your body becomes less rigid as you let yourself melt into him. Exhaustion is seeping in, but this time the physical kind.
“I’m surprised you’re still here,” you whisper, letting out a humorless chuckle at your expense.
“And why wouldn’t I be here?”
“Because I’m a mess. And I threw myself at you.”
Matty smiles softly, letting out an amused exhale through his nose. You’re laying there wondering how he isn’t repulsed by you, and he’s gazing down at you thinking about how beautiful you look in this light.
“You’re just drunk and a bit lonely. Nothing to kick yourself over, sweetheart, we’ve all been there. You were only bein’ a little affectionate.”
“Affectionate? I was trying to jump your bones.”
He laughs at that, a loud, uproarious noise that’s completely unmelodic, and yet it’s your favorite sound. His chest rumbles with his barking laughter under your cheek and you find yourself smiling, just a little. You can’t help it, even when it almost hurts to breathe. As his chuckles subside, he begins stroking your hair, running his fingers through the unruly strands. Your eyelids are getting heavier, it’s as if time is moving in slow motion, dragging on to an unceremonious stop. You’d daydreamed about falling asleep in his arms, but not like this. On the brink of slipping into sleep, your heart begins to pour out in a delirious confession.
“I know you'll never see me the way I see you. But that's okay. I can quietly admire you. I just want you to be happy. Even if that's with somebody else," you mumble.
You don't know why you’re doing this. You can hardly think straight. You just love him. You’ve loved and wanted him for too long. Longer than anyone should have to bear.
“What are you talking about?” he whispers, his smile fading.
"You know what I mean," you continue, the stream of consciousness making you feel somewhat lighter, "you're gonna... you're gonna marry a model... and be happy... and I'll find something... and I'll be fine.”
What you’re saying doesn’t make much sense to him, but it pulls him apart regardless. He can’t help but feel sick to his stomach that you don’t see yourself in his future. Matty gives you a soft squeeze, staring at the top of your head as you barely cling to consciousness. He wants to tell you how he feels so badly, it’s killing him. Everything inside is screaming at him to confess, but he can’t, not when you might not even remember it. He decides this will have to suffice.
“Sweetheart, I promise you, I would not be happy in that scenario. Not without you.”
“What?” you mutter, sounding dazed.
Well, sure, you’ll be there. You’ll go visit him in his house that’s far bigger than necessary and force a smile when you greet his impossibly beautiful wife. But… the way he said it… no. You shouldn’t delude yourself any further.
“Look, you need some rest. We can talk about this later, yeah?” Matty sighs, burying his nose in your hair as he kisses the top of your head.
“Yeah. Okay.”
You feel sleep’s forgiving embrace wrap her arms around you. If you’re lucky, maybe you've drunk enough so you won’t remember any of this in the morning. Blissfully unaware, you wouldn’t have to carry this weight. Whatever happens to you, you know it’s for the better.
Before you truly drift off, you say one last thing. Barely audible, but just loud enough to drive a dagger through Matty’s heart.
“I’m sorry. I love you.”
It’s like the air has been crushed from his lungs. You’ve left him alone with his rampant thoughts, his regrets. God, how he wishes this could have gone differently. After some time, he hears your breathing slow into a quiet steady rhythm, signaling that you’re sound asleep. Then, and only then does he softly speak into the silence of the night.
“I love you too.”
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… sorry?
Thank you to my lovely birthday twin Mads (@toomuchracket ) for previewing the early draft of this!!! Dedicated to you, I hope it’s half as good as your angst <3 <3
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I keep thinking about how you said the gang will pretty much take Chazz in after he finds out and keep imagining a scene like this
https://youtu.be/zFr_uosNXpo?si=J8OdwjN-lGF478pH
Chazz: I just...wanna keep everyone safe.
Jaden: Same...and that includes you too.
Chazz: What?
Jaden: Yeah gotta make sure you're safe too Chazz, you're family now.
Chazz voice cracking: Oh...huh...*trying desperately not to cry.*
Ya pretty much. I think this little tournament they are all at will turn into its own arc.
Jaden tells Chazz. He and Jesse stay with Jaden’s family. But during the final duel of the tournament something happens.
It’s the final duel and of course it’s come down to Jaden and Yugi. (The tournament had different levels I’m not sure yet is the DM crew was participating or spectating. But a Duel against the King of Games is the prize for the winner of the tournament. A shot at the title)
But some magic happens that splits reality.
Jaden sees Yugi shatter and screams “Dad!” Which is how the rest of the Gx cast find out who Jaden is.
At the same time
Yugi sees Jaden shatter and thinks he lost his son.
Cue the Gx cast working on their side and the DM cast working on theirs trying to find and fight the Big bad to put the two sides back together.
This forces the Gx crew to pull their weight as Jaden is distraught at seeing his dad shatter, and then seeing his whole family is gone.
Jesse and Chazz are both trying to help him through the panic. Jesse goes to take charge, (hes a good leader and naturally steps into the role in the Dark World) but Chazz stops him “the slacker is on the verge of a break down. You focus on him, I’ll take care of the others.” Chazz rallies the others.
There is some shock and hurt feelings about “waaan Jaden didn’t tell us :(“ Chazz is the one that yells at them to get their act together. We’re in a crisis now, hurt feelings later.
Mind you Jim and Axel were surprised but are taking care of business. They didn’t know Jaden as long and honestly it’s more surprising they didn’t figure it out given everything that happened in the Dark World.
Some of the others are upset but get over it. Some need to talk to Jaden to clear the air. And some are just mad. But none of that can happen right now because Jaden is super out of it and they are in a crisis.
On the DM side
They are furious.
At first they thought Jaden was gone. And that nearly broke Yugi. But when they realized the other kids were gone as well and that the air reeked of Magic. Well it’s a villain that they can beat the breaks off of. And hopefully that will bring Jaden and the others back.
They are quite brutal in their efficacy. If anything has happened to Jaden or the other kids the villain isn’t walking away.
It’s to soon after the Dark World for them not to be in a hard panic right now.
I have a few ideas but this is in its infancy as an arc.
But at the end of the
Chazz and Jaden are together outside of the Manor. Everything is back to normal and Chazz is thinking about where he can go next. The league isn’t starting up for another month and he’s still out of cash. He can’t stay here now that the tournaments over.
Jaden walks over and sits down with him and tanks him for taking charge when Jaden was out of it. That he didn’t know what he would do if he lost anyone.
And Chazz finally gets it. The pressure they had put on Jaden for years the stress he’s been under. He gets it. He just spent however long it took for Jaden to get his feet back under him playing that role. It wasn’t fun being the leader everyone turns to.
“I just…wanted to keep everyone safe.” He feels worried having Jaden thank him. How many times had they just expected Jaden to do this and never thanked him?
Jaden nods because he understand that statement. But he also remembers Chazz doing something stupid and risking where they almost lost him. “Same…that includes you.”
Chazz is suprised. What is Jaden talking about right now.
But Jaden just rest a hand on his shoulder and smiles “ya got to make sure your safe to Chazz. Your family now.”
And Chazz’s brain must have misfired because what?
And Jadne just laughs. “I told my Dads about you back in our first year. About your brothers and all the crap they put on you. Oto-san wanted to ruin their business but I made him wait since I didn’t want anything to affect you. But we decided that if you wanted it, you would always have a place here. And after everything we’ve been through. Everything you just did for us. How can I not call you family.” He looks back over to just see Chazz in tears. He gives him a warm smile and wraps his arm around his shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go home. Dad’s waiting for us.”
And this is how Chazz became a permeant resident at Kaiba Manor.
Mind you the family had already decided that was Chazz’s room and that he was staying from the moment he walked into the house. They had known about the kid for years and Jaden basically acted like Chazz was his brother. They were just waiting to make the offer. Then everything went upside down, but hey we got here anyways.
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