#i think i just need to make myself understand that everything is okay and that I deserve softness. that i genuinely did my best

[ladykailitha]

Sweet Home Indiana Part 8

I have finished the story (at long last! sheesh I can't believe how long this took me to get it done) and it has 10 chapters. And it has the happiest of endings. I couldn't stop smiling the whole time I was writing it.

Things appear hopeless, but Eddie and Chrissy start to find allies in their plight.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

****

Eddie woke up the next morning to a pounding head, an aching heart and signed divorce papers.

Of the three things the divorce papers were the worst.

So he did the only thing he could do in that moment, call Chrissy.

“Eddie!” she greeted. “I kinda expected a call before today. You know, being your fianceé and all.”

“Shit, Chris!” he murmured. “Is there someone there?”

She hummed her response.

“It been so hectic around here,” Eddie admitted. “And there was the fact that Steve wouldn’t give me a divorce.”

She sighed and he suddenly realized who was with her. “Come out here, tell them that we decided to have the wedding out here in Hawkins because that’s where all my family is. See if you can’t get an extension to plan the wedding.”

“Hold on, cher,” she murmured and put her hand over the speaker. He could hear her clearly but anything he said would be muffled.

Eddie stared down at the papers in his hand with a shattered heart. He could grieve once Chrissy’s dragon was slain.

A minute or so later she came back on.

“Okay, they’ve given me to the end of the month,” she said with a sigh of relief. “Just say the word and I’ll be down there in a flash.”

Eddie waited another moment or two before he said, “Are you alone now?”

Chrissy muttered, “One moment.” He heard the ding of the elevator door open and the sounds of a busy reception hall, then the sounds of a busy street.

She called for a taxi and once the door was closed behind her, she said, “All right, babe, what’s the problem.”

He opened his mouth to tell her but he just broke down.

“I–I thought I was happy in Seattle, but I’ve never felt more alive since coming back here. Seeing old friends, cruising familiar streets. It feels like home. When I first left I didn’t think there was anything in that town that would make me happy.” He let out a shuddering breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “I–I knew that the kids would all leave and they have. But Wayne is still here. Steve and Robin, too. The town has gotten softer. Something I never thought possible. I saw three same sex couples just vibing.”

He choked back a sob. “I thought everything I ever wanted was in Seattle and this trip was just about closing the doors that I left hanging open. Bu–but, oh god!” He threw his head back and covered his eyes. His lips quivered as the pain in his heart spread out through his chest. “Steve is still the one. I know, I know. I talk a lot of shit about love and there not being one person out there who’s your soulmate. but God, Chrissy. He’s it. I felt more myself the last three days then have the last five years.”

He let out another choking sob. “I don’t know what to do. He is like that first ray of sunlight after weeks of storms.”

“Oh, Eddie...” she cried.

“He signed the papers,” Eddie murmured. “And now I wish he hadn’t. I want to just tear up the papers and set fire to them. But I can’t do that to you. I won’t.”

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. Tell me what I can do and I’ll do it.”

He just sobbed and sobbed, forcing through the words that would tell her what he needed.

“Let me make a couple of phone calls, okay?” Chrissy said before hanging up.

Eddie murmured his thanks and then let her go. His brain went on autopilot and found himself on the pavement in front of the post office.

He stared at the mailbox in front of him in abject horror.

He had put the divorce papers in the mail and didn’t sign them himself.

****

Chrissy sighed. It was hard on Eddie she knew. He had spent the last decade running from himself and now he was face to face with the best parts of his past, not understanding why it felt so good.

She opened the file on Eddie’s divorce, the annulments had gone through just fine. It was just that one marriage.

She found what she was looking for and dialed the number.

“Sweetie’s Treats,” the female voice said in a faux cheerful customer service voice. “This is Robin what I can I get for you today?”

Chrissy took a deep breath and let out slow. “Hey, I’m Chrissy Cunningham, Eddie’s fianceé. I sorry, but I really need to talk to Steve.”

“Yeah...” Robin said. “No can do.”

Chrissy rubbed her her temple in frustration. “Eddie called me this morning in a hell of state and I just want to talk to Steve. It’s not anything bad, I guess I want to meet the person who has Eddie’s heart.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Robin said, “you can’t talk to him right now because he is working with the large stand mixer.”

Chrissy immediately pictured a KitchenAid mixer and huffed out her frustration. “Can’t he step away from it for a moment?”

“Sorry, no can do,” Robin said tersely. “He’s pouring in the sugar and has to put it in at specific intervals.”

Her temper was fraying with every passing moment with this woman. “Can I call his cellphone and you can hold it up to his ear?”

There was a bark of laughter. “That would also be a no. That thing has eaten three cellphones already and I’m not about to feed the beast another thanks.”

Chrissy blinked for a moment. “Just how big is this mixer anyway?”

This time the laughter was less bitter and more genuine.

“The size of a fifty gallon drum.”

“Oh!”

Robin cackled. “Yeah, when you have to make two hundred cookies, you aren’t going to be using a little electric hand mixer.”

“What kind of cookies?” she asked before she realized what was coming out of her mouth.

“Snickerdoodles,” she said, her grin evident even through the phone.

Chrissy shook her head. She was on a mission, damn it. She wouldn’t let let herself be distracted by baked goods!

“Okay,” she said, shoring herself up for a battle. “How about I talk to you and tell him what I said?”

“Sure,” Robin said. “I wouldn’t mind getting to know the girl who was the cause of Eddie’s bi awakening.”

Chrissy licked her lips slowly. “So about that...”

There was silence on the line long enough that she pulled the phone away to make sure the call was still connected.

“Are you his beard?” came the quiet reply. “Is this a lavender wedding?”

A little bell went off above Chrissy head. Oh. Maybe this wasn’t as hopeless as she thought.

“Yes,” she said, biting the bullet. “But not in the way you think.”

She could almost picture the head tilt of the bird on the other end of the line when Robin said, “Oh? Do tell.”

“Give me a second,” Chrissy said. “My taxi just pulled up to my apartment and I need to pay the driver.”

“Sure.”

Chrissy paid the man and hurried up to the stairs to her apartment, she fitted her keys into the lock and tossed her purse and keys on the table next to the door.

“So here’s the sitch,” she said flopping on her sofa with a heavy sigh.

****

Eddie opened the little door on the front with wide eyes. The door prevented people from sticking his hand in and grabbing it. He grabbed his hair.

“Fuck, fuck!” he cried. This day kept getting worse and worse. He opened the door again, hoping he could see a way to disable it.

He probably could, given the right tool. But as he was looking a little too closely another person walked by and eyed him suspiciously.

“Shit!” He looked down at himself and let loose a string of more colorful curse words.

Eddie looked like he was about to knock off the mailbox and make off with several felonies worth of someone else’s mail.

He was going to start crying again. He gripped his hair tightly as he paced back and forth.

He felt a hand on his elbow and he wasn’t be ashamed to say that the shriek that came out of him was the most emasculating sound in existence.

“Eddie,” Jonathan said. “Shit! I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Once Eddie had landed back on his feet like the scaredy-cat he was, he whirled around to see the oldest Byers boy looking at him with such concern.

“Hey, Johnny,” he breathed. “I’m sorry. God, today is the worst.”

Jonathan huffed a laugh. “You know, you are the only one I’ve ever met who doesn’t call me Jonathan.”

Eddie blushed. “I call everyone nicknames. I can stop if you want.”

Jonathan shook his head. “It was an observation, not a criticism.”

“Someone’s been hanging out with Nancy Wheeler a little too much,” Eddie huffed, already feeling better in the quiet presence of this man.

Jonathan threw his head back and laughed. “I hope so, we’re getting married next year.”

Eddie snapped his fingers. “That’s right. You did tell me that. Shit, man it feels like a life time ago.”

“You still love Steve, don’t you?” he said gently.

Eddie opened his mouth to deny it, but snapped it shut. He waved his hand at the mailbox. “It doesn’t matter. He signed the divorce papers, but my dumbass forgot to sign them too. So I need to get them back, but I don’t how.”

Jonathan smiled and then held up one finger. He went into the post office and five minutes later came out with his mom who carried the biggest key chain he’d ever seen.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Joyce greeted softly. “Let’s get this back for you.”

Eddie told her what it looked like and who it was addressed to.

After a little bit of searching, she turned around with the manilla envelope and handed it back to him.

“Next time,” she said with a smile. “Just come in and ask and we’ll be happy to grab it for you.”

Eddie nodded, clutching it to his chest and thanking her profusely. He took Jonathan out to lunch for the rescue.

They took it and sat on a park bench away from everyone else.

“Thanks for the gallant rescue, man,” Eddie said around his bite of his sandwich. “I was going to have a full blown breakdown right there on Hawkins Main and it wouldn’t have been pretty.”

“It’s no problem,” Jonathan said. “I’m glad it worked out.” He nodded to the papers on the table between them. “You going to sign them?”

Eddie let out a long sigh. “I have to.”

“You keep saying that,” he huffed. “But I don’t think you do. Shit, Eddie. I saw you and him at the carnival and it was like time travel. Like I was transported back a decade when you were both happy and free. He had his face buried in those stuff animals you’d won for him and you looked at him like he’d hung the moon.”

Eddie shook his head. “Look, you can’t tell anyone about this. It’s technically a crime. But it’s the only choice we have. Chrissy was here on a school visa from Barbados and she usually gets a work visa for the summer. Only there was a mix up and she didn’t get her work visa and her school visa is for while she’s at school. Which considering it was only for three months, I figured as long as she didn’t say anything to anyone, she could skate on through.”

“I’m guessing that’s not what happened?” Jonathan pressed. He took a bite of sandwich and nudged Eddie to eat.

Eddie took another bite, but really didn’t taste it. He choked it down around the bile in his throat. He shook his head.

“She works at a law firm,” he said mournfully. “Their HR department found out pretty much immediately. They, of course, alerted Immigration and was told to find another way to get a visa or be sent back to Barbados.”

“Hence getting the married?” Jonathan suggested.

He nodded. “We can’t let anyone know, because then we could get into trouble for fraud or whatever. I do love her, but not like that. Not like Steve.”

Jonathan huffed a laugh. He was silent for a moment and then shook his head sadly. “He went up to Seattle, you know.”

Eddie’s head snapped up. “What? When?”

“Right after you settled up there and started tattooing,” Jonathan said, scratching his chin thoughtfully. “He was there for a week. I think he went up there to ask you to come home. But when he found you, he also found a large city and a friendly LGBTQ community and he just couldn’t bare to ask you to return to homophobic Hawkins.”

Eddie’s lip quivered. He hadn’t known. His head spun as his world tilted off its axis.

“When he came back, he couldn’t really tell Robin the truth,” Jonathan continued. “That he couldn’t get up the courage to even see you closer than through the windows of the shop. So he told her he couldn’t find you and then vowed to make something of himself. Something you could be proud of.”

Tears slipped down Eddie’s cheeks and he pressed his hand to his mouth to keep the whimper that tried to escape between his teeth.

“The bakery...” he murmured.

Jonathan nodded. “Him and Robin starting working there together like they always do, to help save up for her to go to college.”

Eddie smiled, a weak, wet, little thing, but it was there. Steve and Robin, two peas in a pod. They always worked together since the summer after Steve graduated and Robin was about to start her senior year. They had worked at an ice cream parlor in the mall. When it burned down just a couple of months later due to shoddy workmanship, they had forged a friendship in literal fire.

“They weren’t intending to make it a permanent thing,” Jonathan continued, breaking into his thoughts. “But Steve’s good. He took a shop that only barely keeping itself in the black and made it into the thriving thing you see today.”

Eddie nodded. He was proud of Steve. And Robin. And all the things they managed to succeed in doing.

Jonathan hugged him tightly. “I won’t say to stay here with Steve and leave your financée to her fate, because that would be cruel and for all your faults, man, you aren’t cruel. And neither am I.”

Eddie let out a shuddering breath. And then another.

“You’ll do the right thing,” Jonathan said. “You might not figure it out right away, but somehow you always manage to get to the right thing in the end.”

Eddie finished his sandwich and thanked him for everything. Just being there when he needed someone.

And as he drove away from the park he felt lighter than he had in years.

****

I realize that that's probably not how visas work, but I'm just gonna hand wave that away for the drama.

Tag List: SIX SLOTS OPEN

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2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @goodolefashionedloverboi

3- @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @mac-attack19

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6- @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95

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9- @blondie1006 @stripey82 @w1ll0wtr33 @mcenziehughes

[anonymous-dentist]

A brief Ordem AU Interlude:

-

Mr. Veríssimo’s is kind enough to pick Roier up from the police station, but he doesn’t look happy. He looks… about the same as he usually does, actually, but Roier can see the disappointment in his eyes.

“To be clear,” Roier says, trying to cheer him up, “those were some creepy books.”

Mr. Veríssimo’s hands tighten around the steering wheel one hand at a time. His eyebrows furrow, and he lets out a long, tired-sounding breath.

“How do hundreds of people just turn into books without notice?” he mumbles, barely audible over the radio. “This couldn’t have been the first incident…”

“I think it was, though,” Roier says. “It wasn’t on the Instagram.”

“Not everything is on the Finstagram.” (Roier stifles a wince. Old people…) “There is so much that we don’t understand about this world, let alone what lies beyond the veil. There could be so many more…”

Mr. Veríssimo trails off, unsure.

“Facebooks,” Roier supplies. He smiles. “Me and Cellbit came up with it in the cop car.”

Mr. Veríssimo doesn’t question who Cellbit is. He doesn’t need to; Roier and Cellbit were in the same cell when he arrived at the station, chilling and arguing about the existence of ghosts.

Mr. Veríssimo lets out a quiet huff of a laugh.

“The facebooks,” he continues. “There could be more, and we don’t know a thing about them. Where they came from, what they want, why they’re here…”

“Not everything’s got a reason, man.” Roier shrugs. “Sometimes things are just fucked-up books. It happens.”

“I suppose.”

It’s quiet. They continue driving until they reach the front of what Roier vaguely remembers to be the building that Mr. Veríssimo’s main office is in.

Mr. Veríssimo parks the car. But he doesn’t unlock the doors.

He looks at Roier seriously.

“You’re lucky to be alive,” he says. “Congratulations. Not everybody who has worked with the Ordem has been so lucky as you.”

Roier blinks. “…Thank you?”

“You got some good info for us today,” Mr. Veríssimo continues. “It’s for this reason that I’m going to expand your job duties. From now on, you’re to keep an eye out for any… spooky stuff going on. Get information, take photos, and warn the public. They won’t always believe you, but our Instagrand page is ‘viral’.” (He does air quotes with his fingers.) “So people will see it.”

Roier has a sick feeling in his stomach.

It only grows as Mr. Veríssimo finishes with, “And, if necessary, eliminate the threat.”

“What, by myself?” Roier awkwardly laughs, avoiding eye contact. “I’m just the social media guy.”

“Don’t worry, you won’t be alone. You’ll be assigned an agent.”

Oh, good. Those guys are all badass! They all follow the Instagram, and sometimes Roier will just go through their profiles and go ‘Wow…’

That makes him feel a bit better.

So he sighs and nods. “Okay. You’re the boss.”

He’ll have a competent person with him to handle all the problems. If anything, his life is just looking up!

[cheynovak]

A Night to Remember 

Part 10: The final scene  

Jensen Ackles x F/Reader Y/N          

Warnings: 18+, unprotected sex, jealousy, sexual tension, little fluff? ... 

Side note: English isn’t my first language  

--     

Will the world believe that Jensen and Y/N were acting, will the world believe the picture was a publicity stunt? But more importantly, will they?        

Or is their tension towards each other, their ‘harmless’ flirting going to burst into flames? How much longer will they be able to keep their professional distance?      

-- 

Y/N walked into her small, cozy rental apartment in Austin, the encounter with Danneel replaying in her mind. She dropped her grocery bags on the kitchen counter, feeling a mixture of confusion and worry.  

If Jensen and Danneel were divorced or at least separated, why hadn’t he reached out to her? Their connection had been intense, and she couldn’t understand why he had vanished without a word. 

She paced around her apartment, her thoughts racing. Part of her wanted to respect his space, but another part yearned to hear from him, to understand what was happening in his life.  

Finally, she decided she couldn’t stand the silence any longer. She picked up her phone and typed a message, her fingers trembling slightly. 

Y/N: Hey Jensen, I ran into Danneel today. She told me about the divorce. I hope you’re okay? 

She hit send and sank onto the couch, her heart pounding. She stared at her phone, waiting for a response, her mind filled with memories of their time in Greece and the deep conversations they had shared. Minutes felt like hours as she waited, anxiety gnawing at her. 

After what felt like an eternity, her phone buzzed. She grabbed it, her heart leaping into her throat. It was Jensen. 

J: Hey sweetheart. I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch. Things have been really complicated. Can we talk later tonight? I’ll call you. 

Relief washed over her, but it was tinged with apprehension. She quickly replied,  

Y/N: Of course.  

The rest of the day passed in a haze. Y/N tried to distract herself with chores and reading, but her mind kept drifting back to Jensen. When the evening finally came, she settled on the couch, her phone clutched in her hand. The minutes ticked by slowly until, finally, her phone rang. 

“Hello?” she answered, her voice a mix of hope and nervousness. 

“Hey, Y/N,” Jensen said, his voice sounding weary. “I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner. Everything has been a mess.” 

“It’s okay,” she said softly. “I just... I’ve been worried about you.” 

“I know,” he sighed. “I’ve been trying to keep it together for the kids, for Danneel, and I guess I thought cutting off communication with you would make things easier. But it didn’t.” 

Y/N felt a pang of sadness. “I understand. I just wish I had known what was going on.”  

“I’m sorry,” Jensen said again, his voice filled with regret. “Danneel and I decided to divorce because we couldn’t move past what happened. I thought if I distanced myself from you, it would help her heal. But I also realized that I was avoiding my own feelings.” 

“What do you feel now?” Y/N asked, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“I don’t know,” Jensen admitted. “I care about you, Y/N. I think about you a lot. But my life is so complicated right now. I’m trying to be the father my kids need, and I’m not sure where that leaves us.” 

Tears welled up in Y/N’s eyes. “I understand, Jensen. I don’t want to add to your burden. I just... I miss you.” 

“I miss you too,” he said softly. “But I need to figure out my life, to make sure I’m doing the right thing for my family. Can we stay in touch, just as friends for now?” Y/N felt a mixture of relief and sadness. “Yes, of course. I’ll always be here for you, Jensen. Take all the time you need.” 

“Thank you,” he said, his voice filled with gratitude. “I’ll keep you updated. And maybe, when things settle down, we can see where we stand.” 

“I’d like that,” Y/N replied, her heart aching with both hope and uncertainty. They talked for a while longer, catching up on each other’s lives, the conversation flowing easily despite the heavy emotions. 

After the phone call, Y/N felt heartbroken even though, deep down, she had expected this conversation. The weeks that followed were a blur of emotions. She and Jensen stayed in touch on a friendly basis, their conversations often lingering on the past but cautiously stepping toward the future. They kept their interactions light, discussing work, mutual friends, and the little things that made up their daily lives. 

Then one day, Y/N received an unexpected call from her agent. The producers of the boys wanted her to rejoin the cast for a few scenes. The opportunity was tempting; she missed the work, the set and the thrill of acting.  

But the thought of working so closely with Jensen again, especially considering the past few months, filled her with anxiety. She paced her apartment, debating whether to accept the offer.  

Finally, she decided to call Jensen, needing his perspective before making a decision. “Hey, Jensen,” she said when he picked up. “I got a call from my agent. They want me to come back for a few scenes. What do you think about it?” 

There was a brief silence on the other end before Jensen replied. “Wow, I didn’t know they were planning that. How do you feel about it?” 

“I don’t know,” Y/N admitted. “I miss the work, the team, but... I’m worried about us. About how it might affect everything, considering how things started with us.” 

Jensen sighs, the weight of the situation evident in his voice. “I get that. Honestly, I think it could be a good thing. We’ve been handling things well as friends, and maybe this is a chance to prove that we can work together professionally without letting our personal history interfere.” 

Y/N felt a flicker of hope but also a twinge of fear. “But what if it brings up old feelings? What if it makes things harder for both of us?” 

“We’ll have to be honest with each other,” Jensen said gently. “If either of us starts to feel uncomfortable or if it’s too much, we talk about it. I think we’ve learned a lot over the past few months. Maybe this is a test, but I believe we can handle it.” 

She took a deep breath, letting his words sink in. “Okay. I’ll do it. But let’s promise to keep the lines of communication open. No more avoiding the hard conversations.” 

“Deal,” Jensen agreed. “We’re in this together, even if it’s just as colleagues and friends.” 

The following weeks were a whirlwind of preparation. Y/N returned to the set with a mix of excitement and trepidation. The first day back was both familiar and strange, the sets and faces welcoming her like an old friend, but the memories of what had happened before lingered at the edges of her mind. 

When she saw Jensen for the first time on set, they shared a brief, heartfelt hug. There was an unspoken understanding between them, a mutual respect for the boundaries they had set. They slipped into their roles with ease, the chemistry that had once sparked something more now channelled into their performances. 

As they worked together, Y/N found herself falling into the rhythm of the job, her worries gradually easing. The scenes went smoothly, their professionalism shining through. Off set, they kept their interactions light and supportive, each respecting the other’s space and boundaries. 

One evening, after a particularly intense scene, they found themselves alone in the break room. Jensen handed Y/N a bottle of water, and they sat down, a comfortable silence between them. 

“You did great today,” Jensen said, breaking the silence. “It’s good to have you back, Y/N.” Karl said walking through the door. “Thanks,” Y/N replied, smiling. “It feels good to be back.”  

A few days into shooting, things were settling into a comfortable routine. Y/N and Jensen managed to work together without the awkwardness that had initially worried them.  

The scenes were going well, and their camaraderie on set was becoming more natural. One afternoon, during a break between scenes, Jensen was chatting with some crew members when he glanced over and saw Y/N laughing with Karl. 

She was entertained, her smile bright, and at one point, she placed her hand on Karl's arm in a friendly, leaning into him, a loving gesture. Jensen felt a twinge of jealousy twist in his chest, even though he knew he wasn’t supposed to feel that way. 

He tried to shake it off, reminding himself that he and Y/N were just friends now, and she had every right to form connections with others. But the feeling lingered, gnawing at him. He found it difficult to focus on the conversation around him, his eyes involuntarily drifting back to Y/N and Karl. 

Later, as they were preparing for another scene, Jensen couldn't help but bring it up. They were alone in the makeup trailer, and he decided to voice his thoughts, hoping to clear the air. 

"Hey," he started, trying to sound casual. "I saw you talking to Karl earlier. You two seem to get along well." Y/N looked up from her phone, a hint of surprise in her eyes.  

"Yeah, he's great. We've been catching up on old times. Why do you ask?" Jensen hesitated, then sighed, deciding honesty was the best approach. "I guess I felt a little... jealous. I know I have no right to be, but...” 

Y/N put her phone down, her expression softening. "Jensen, it’s ok. You don’t have to worry about Karl. We’re just friends.” Jensen returned her smile, feeling a bit lighter. 

As the days turned into weeks, Jensen and Y/N continued to navigate their complex relationship. Despite their best efforts to keep things professional, the tension between them was palpable. It was a mix of unresolved feelings and the undeniable chemistry that had always been there. 

One day, the script called for a scene where Soldier Boy, had to kiss Y/N’s character. The day of the shoot arrived. The set was buzzing with activity, and Jensen could feel his nerves building.  

He tried to focus on his lines, on his character, but his thoughts kept drifting back to Y/N and the kiss that was about to happen. Y/N was equally on edge, her mind racing with what the scene would mean for them. 

As they stood on their marks, the director gave them some last-minute instructions. “I want this kiss to be intense, filled with all the unresolved tension between your characters. Make it real.” 

Jensen nodded, glancing at Y/N who was taking a deep breath.  

The scene began, their characters exchanging heated words that gradually turned into a charged silence. When the moment came, Jensen took a step closer to Y/N, his heart pounding. He could see the same mix of anticipation and anxiety in her eyes. 

And then he kissed her. 

The world around them seemed to fade away. The kiss was electric, a spark igniting everything they had been holding back. It wasn’t just a kiss for the scene; it was a release of all the emotions they had been suppressing. They poured everything into that moment, the passion, the confusion, the longing. 

When the director finally called, “Cut!” they pulled away, breathless. The set stayed quiet, impressed by their ‘fake’ passion, but Jensen and Y/N barely noticed. They were lost in each other’s eyes, the intensity of what had just happened lingering between them. 

At the end of the day, she asked Jensen to talk to her in her trailer.  

She immediately asked the inevitable question. “Jensen,” Y/N began, her voice trembling slightly. “What was that?” He ran a hand through his hair, still trying to process his own emotions. “I don’t know. I mean, I do...” 

He looked at her “It’s everything we’ve been feeling but not saying.” She nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. “I’ve been trying to move on, to just be friends, but it’s so hard. Seeing you every day, remembering what we had...” 

Jensen took her hands in his, his heart aching. “I feel the same way. I thought keeping things professional would help, but it hasn’t. Maybe we need to be honest about what we’re feeling, about what we want.” 

Y/N looked into his eyes, searching for answers. “What do you want, Jensen?” He took a deep breath, he reached out, cupping her face in his hands. The warmth of his touch sent shivers down her spine. Her breath caught as he leaned in, his eyes closing, and then his lips met hers. 

The sensation was overwhelming. His lips were soft, yet firm, moving against hers with a tenderness that made her knees weak. There was a gentleness in his kiss, a careful exploration that spoke of unspoken feelings and deep-seated longing. His touch was both comforting and electrifying, sending waves of warmth through her body. 

As his lips moved against hers, Y/N felt a rush of emotions: relief, passion, and an intense connection that she had been yearning for. The world around them seemed to disappear, leaving only the two of them in that moment.  

The kiss deepened, Jensen’s hands sliding to the back of her neck, pulling her closer. She could feel his heart beating as wildly as hers, their breaths mingling, creating a symphony of intimacy. 

His lips tasted faintly of mint and something distinctly him, a flavour she realized she had missed more than she knew. The softness of his lips contrasted with the slight roughness of the stubble on his jaw, creating a delicious friction that sent sparks through her. 

Y/N melted into the kiss, her hands moving to rest on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her fingertips. It was a kiss that spoke of promises, of all the words they hadn’t said, of the possibilities that lay ahead. It was a kiss that felt like coming home. 

When they finally pulled apart, both breathless and slightly dazed, Jensen rested his forehead against hers, his eyes still closed, as if savouring the lingering sensation of their kiss. Y/N opened her eyes slowly, looking up at him, her lips tingling from the intensity of their connection. 

“That,” Jensen whispered, his voice husky with emotion, “is what I want. You. Us. Together.” Y/N didn't need to say anything more. She answered him by closing the small distance between them and kissing him again, pouring all her emotions into the gesture. 

She let her fingers thread through his hair, feeling the soft, slightly tousled strands slip through her fingers. The sensation was intoxicating, grounding her in the reality of the moment, yet making her feel as if she were floating. 

Jensen responded immediately, his arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer until there was no space left between them. His hands were strong yet gentle, one settling on the small of her back while the other moved up to rest between her shoulder blades. The warmth of his touch seeped through her clothes, making her skin tingle with anticipation and delight.  

The kiss deepened, becoming more urgent and fervent. She could feel the intensity of his desire, mirrored by her own. His lips moved with a rhythm that spoke of both passion and tenderness, making her heart race and her knees weaken. 

Y/N’s fingers tightened in his hair, eliciting a low, pleased sound from Jensen that vibrated against her lips. The way his hands explored her back, his fingers pressing gently yet firmly, sent shivers down her spine. She felt alive, every nerve ending attuned to his touch, every sense heightened by his presence.  

Jensen’s hands moved, one sliding down to her hip, gripping it possessively but tenderly, while the other traced patterns on her back, leaving trails of fire in their wake. She could feel the heat of his body against hers, the strength in his arms, the steady beat of his heart matching her own frantic pace. 

Jensen guided her gently but firmly until her back pressed against the cool surface of the wall. The contrast between the cold wall and the heat of his body was electrifying. He deepened the kiss, his lips moving with a newfound urgency, his hands never ceasing their exploration. 

Y/N's fingers continued their path through his hair to his neck, scratching her nails  slightly, eliciting a low, appreciative growl from him that reverberated through her body. The sensation was intoxicating, making her heart race even faster.  

She could feel the strength and desire in his hands as they roamed over her body, one sliding down to her thigh, lifting it slightly, and the other tracing the curve of her waist. 

She arched into him, her body responding instinctively to his, pressing closer, needing more. His lips left hers for a moment, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses along her jawline and down her neck, each touch sending waves of pleasure through her. 

"Jensen," she breathed, her voice a mix of a plea and a whisper, her hands moving to his shoulders, feeling the muscles tense and flex under her touch. 

He responded with a soft murmur against her skin, his hands gripping her waist tighter, pulling her even closer. His lips found hers again, and this time the kiss was deeper, more intense, as if they were both trying to make up for lost time. 

Y/N felt a surge of emotions: love, longing, passion, all blending into a heady mix that left her dizzy. She clung to him, her fingers digging into his shoulders, she had fought so hard to deny but could no longer ignore. 

When they pulled away for a short moment, both breathless and flushed, Jensen rested his forehead against hers, his eyes closed, his breath mingling with hers. "I don't want to hold back anymore, Y/N." he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. 

Jensen dared to let his hands wander further. His touch became bolder, more insistent, as his fingers slipped under the hem of her shirt, brushing against the soft skin of her back. The feel of her warmth under his fingertips sent a jolt of desire through him. 

Y/N shivered at the contact, her breath hitching. He kissed her again, his tongue teasing hers, drawing soft moans from her lips. She responded eagerly, her hands slipping under his shirt, feeling the hard muscles of his chest and stomach. The sensation of his skin against her palms was electrifying, making her want more. 

Jensen's hands moved to the front of her shirt, slowly sliding up, taking the fabric with them. He hesitated for a moment, searching her eyes for permission. When she nodded, he continued, lifting her shirt over her head and tossing it aside. The sight of her, in just her bra, made his breath catch. 

He leaned in, pressing kisses along her collarbone, moving down to the swell of her breasts. His hands roamed over her skin, the feel of her, the way she trembled under his touch, that was what he craved. Y/N's fingers threaded through his hair again, holding him close, her body arching into his. 

As his hands moved lower, tracing the curve of her waist, he pressed his hips against hers. She felt his bulge, hard and insistent, pressing against her core. The sensation sent a wave of heat through her, making her gasp. Her body responded instinctively, hips tilting to press against him, seeking more of the friction that drove her wild. 

"Jensen," she breathed, her voice filled with need and desire. 

He groaned softly, the sound vibrating against her skin as he kissed his way back up to her lips. "Y/N," he whispered against her mouth, his hands gripping her hips, pulling her closer. The feel of her, the way her body fit against his, was driving him to the edge. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down into another searing kiss. The world around them disappeared, leaving only the two of them, lost in the moment. The feel of his hands on her skin, his bulge pressing against her core, the taste of his kiss, it was everything she had been yearning for. 

Jensen's hands slid to the waistband of her pants, fingers teasing the fabric, testing her readiness. She nodded, her eyes dark with desire, giving him the silent permission he sought. Slowly, he began to unbutton her pants, his fingers brushing against the skin just above her underwear, sending shivers through her. 

His lips found hers, his mouth hot and demanding, as he pushed her pants down, letting them fall to the floor. The cool air only heightened her arousal. Jensen pulled her close, his hands roaming over her nearly naked form, his touch igniting fires wherever he touched. 

Y/N's hands moved to his jeans, fumbling with the button and zipper, eager to feel more of him. She pushed them down, her hands sliding over his hips, feeling the hard muscles beneath his skin. The sensation of his arousal pressed against her through the thin fabric of his boxers made her moan softly. 

They moved together, bodies pressing closer, seeking more contact, more connection. Jensen's hands roamed over her back, slipping under the band of her bra, unclasping it with practiced ease. He pulled the fabric away, baring her completely to his gaze. 

He paused for a moment, taking in the sight of her, his eyes filled with desire and admiration. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. Y/N felt a blush rise to her cheeks, her heart swelling at his words. She pulled him down into another kiss. 

Jensen's hands slid down to her hips, lifting her slightly as he pressed her against the wall, his body aligning with hers. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer, feeling the hard length of him pressing intimately against her. The sensation was overwhelming, sending waves of pleasure through her. 

They moved together, their bodies finding a rhythm, the friction and heat building between them. The world outside faded away, leaving only the two of them, lost in the intensity of their connection. It was more than just physical.  

Jensen felt the heat of their connection, the undeniable pull between them, and knew he wanted to savour every moment. He wanted her, desperately, but he also wanted to take his time, to tease her until she was begging for more. 

With a deliberate slowness, he broke the kiss, his eyes locking onto hers as he began to trail kisses down her neck, over her collarbone, and across her chest. He took his time, exploring every inch of her skin with his lips, his tongue, and his teeth, leaving her gasping and arching into his touch. 

"Jensen, please." she breathed, her voice a mix of desire and anticipation. He smiled against her skin, loving the way she responded to his touch. "Patience," he murmured, his voice low and husky. "I want to take my time with you." 

As he continued his journey down her body, his hands roamed over her curves, caressing her waist, her hips, her thighs. Each touch was gentle but firm, sending shivers through her. When he reached the waistband of her underwear, he paused, looking up at her with a question in his eyes. 

She nodded, her breath coming in short, shallow gasps, her eyes dark with need. "Please, Jensen," she whispered, her voice trembling. That was all the encouragement he needed.  

With a slow, deliberate motion, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of her panties and began to slide them down her legs, his eyes never leaving hers. The cool air against her heated skin made her shiver, and the look of desire in his eyes made her heart race. 

Once he had her completely bare before him, Jensen moved to his knees, his hands gently parting her thighs. He took a moment to admire her, his eyes filled with a mixture of awe and hunger. 

Then he leaned in, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of her inner thighs, kissing and nipping his way higher, closer to where she ached for him the most. The sensation of his mouth on her skin was exquisite, each touch sending waves of pleasure through her body. 

Y/N's hands found their way into his hair, her fingers tangling in the soft strands, pulling him closer. She could feel the heat of his breath against her core, the anticipation building to an almost unbearable level. 

Finally, Jensen's lips found her most intimate spot, and he began to tease her with his tongue, flicking and swirling, tasting her. The sensation was overwhelming, a mix of pleasure and longing that made her cry out. He took his time, exploring every sensitive spot, driving her wild with need. 

He alternated between gentle, teasing licks and more insistent, focused movements, his hands holding her thighs apart, keeping her open to his ministrations. Each touch, each flick of his tongue, sent jolts of pleasure through her, building the pressure inside her higher and higher. 

Y/N's breaths came in ragged gasps, her body trembling with the intensity of the sensations. "Jensen, please," she begged, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I need you." 

But Jensen was relentless, determined to bring her to the edge and beyond. He increased the pace, his tongue moving with a purpose now, drawing her closer and closer to the peak of pleasure. Her moans grew louder, her grip on his hair tightening as she felt herself hurtling toward the edge. 

When she finally came apart, it was with a cry of pure ecstasy, her body arching, her thighs trembling as waves of pleasure washed over her. Jensen held her through it, his tongue never stopping, drawing out every last bit of her orgasm until she was left breathless and shaking. 

Only then did he pull back, his eyes dark with desire as he looked up at her. He rose to his feet, his body pressing against hers, his arousal evident. He kissed her deeply, letting her taste herself on his lips, the intensity of the moment leaving them both breathless. 

"Now," he whispered against her lips, his voice filled with need. "I want you, Y/N. All of you." She nodded, her eyes filled with a mixture of love and desire. "I want you too, Jensen. Always." 

With that, he lifted her, wrapping her legs around his waist, and pressed her back against the wall. The feel of him, hard and ready against her core, sent another wave of heat through her. 

As he finally entered her, the sensation was everything they had both been yearning for. The connection, the intimacy, the pure, unadulterated pleasure—it was overwhelming. They moved together, their bodies finding a rhythm, each thrust, each movement bringing them closer to the edge. 

Their moans filled the air, a symphony of passion and need. Y/N's body responded instinctively to every touch, every movement, as Jensen guided them both toward a crescendo of pleasure. 

The feeling of Jensen inside her was exquisite, a perfect mix of fullness and friction that sent waves of ecstasy through her. Every thrust was deliberate, filled with a mix of tenderness and urgency. She felt the heat of his body against hers, the slick slide of their skin, the delicious pressure building with every movement. 

Jensen's touch both possessive and reverent. He held her thigh firmly around his hip, guiding their rhythm, his fingers digging into her hips, pulling her closer, deeper. The sensation of his strength, the way he controlled their movements, only heightened her arousal.  

His breath was hot against her skin, his lips brushing against her ear, her neck, whispering her name like a sacred mantra. She could feel the tension coiling tighter and tighter within her, a spring wound to its limit, ready to snap. 

Her core pulsed with every thrust, the friction sending sparks of pleasure shooting through her nerves, building into a firestorm of sensation. The pressure was almost unbearable, a sweet agony that demanded release. Each moan, each gasp, was a release of that pressure, the pleasure that consumed her. 

Y/N felt herself teetering on the edge, the pleasure building to an almost unbearable peak. With a final, deep thrust, Jensen sent her spiralling over the edge. Her body convulsed, waves of pleasure crashing through her, a symphony of sensation that left her breathless and trembling.  

Her cry of ecstasy filled the air, mingling with Jensen's own guttural groan as he found his release, their bodies shuddering together in the aftermath of their shared climax.  

They clung to each other, riding out the waves of pleasure, their breaths mingling, their hearts beating in sync. The intensity of the moment, the profound connection they shared, left them both reeling, basking in the afterglow of their passion. 

As the sensations slowly subsided, Jensen held her close, his hands gentle now, soothing, as if grounding them both back to reality. Y/N buried her face in his neck, inhaling his scent, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath her lips.  

“That was...” Y/N whispered trying to catch her breath “Yeah” he answered.  

Jensen couldn't tear his eyes away as Y/N moved around the room, slipping into a more comfortable outfit. Even in the simplest of clothes, she radiated beauty and grace, and he found himself captivated by her every movement. 

Unable to resist the pull any longer, he rose from the couch and crossed the room to her. As she finished adjusting her outfit, he reached out, gently taking her hand and pulling her towards him. She went willingly, a soft smile playing on her lips as he led her back to the couch. 

Once they were seated, Jensen couldn't help but pull her close, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. Y/N melted into his embrace, resting her head against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her ear. 

His touch was gentle as his fingers traced patterns on her shoulders, the simple gesture sending shivers of pleasure down her spine. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his warm, strong arms around her, the comforting weight of his body against her. 

Jensen's touch moved to her hair, his fingers threading through the soft strands, massaging her scalp in a way that made her sigh with contentment. It was a simple gesture, but it spoke volumes of the tenderness and affection he felt for her. 

They stayed like that for a while, wrapped in each other's arms, lost in the comfort of their embrace. There were no words needed, no explanations necessary. In that moment, all that mattered was the warmth of their connection, the shared intimacy.  

And the knowledge this was where they belonged.

Together.

--

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[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas

First off, please don't feel any pressure to answer this. I'm not heavily relying on this and would seriously prefer it if you put yourself and your mental health above mine

Second off, how are you?

Third off, I need advice :(

Little backstory so you understand, I'm a queer indian that shifted to London 12 months ago for my year 8-9, and when I first joined the school I was best friends with four people including the girl im talking about lets call her Saoirse cause she's Irish. 6-7 months later we've all drifted apart except Saoirse and her best friend. During class we talked occasionally and bantered as friends, until one day she insulted and laughed at me with a couple of friends about my Indian three letter name and when I called her out for it by mentioning her own name, she got into a strop and ignored me for 3 months, as well as trying to one up me with my supposed best friend who I ahwv a shaking relationship with. Admittedly, I did grovel a bit until she started talking to me randomly one morning. A month and we're good friends and then she gets caught doing something and when she gets a detention blames it on me. The next day the teacher asks me and I deny it, it becomes a whole thing for three weeks in which I promise myself to not let her into my life. But one day Saoirse just starts speaking to me again and since we're in the same friend group and it just felt so good I let her. For a week she dotes on me, pulling me to sit with her, and just something about the way she acts and speaks makes me wanna compliment her every time I speak to her. The second week, she unnecessarily touches me whenever she can, compliments me, and when a friend asked her if she was straight (a question she continuously replied yes to and she had a bf) she looked at me, smiled, and said her minds been changing lately. Throughout the week she flirts with me and calls me 'pookie', which whatever everyone does but before we had more of a love language: rude relationship. Finally on the last day, she pulls me aside and applies her lip balm on my lips slowly and constantly, leaning into close and then abruptly leaving. On Monday, peek a boo, shes a bitch. She continuously love bombs me, and whenever another girl who liked me looked at me she would put on an act and make me confront that girl because she called Saoirse a dick for everything. On Wednesday she just acts like she subtly hates me, but I can't speak to anyone cause all my friends are her friends. And also, shes so so so addicting so I can't use my remaining self respect and move away

What do I do?

(sorry for the long ask)

Hi hon! I'm good!

Well, it sounds like you already know what to do, it's just a matter of doing it:

You know Saoirse isn't treating you well. You know you deserve better. And you know she's the type of person hat keeps drawing you back in.

And trust me, I know those people. They're - like you said - addicting. But addiction never ends well, does it? So I think you know that the best idea is to take space from her.

I know it's a lot easier said than done, I know. But you deserve to be treated with respect. And it's okay to take space from people who aren't giving you what you deserve.

Think about it. Message me again with updates or if you need encouragement!

Naming you self respect anon <3

[aishangotome]

Alfons Sylvatica: [Mad Love] Chapter 24

Chapter 23

♡———♡

(Happiness that will one day turn to tragedy…)

(What’s the point of giving such a thing?)

The warmer the memories, the greater the disappointment at their loss.

It is precisely because there is such a thing as love that we despair when we lose it.

(Wouldn’t it be much more accurate to say that I loved her properly if I were killed here and now?)

Before we make more memories.

Before I devour her love any further.

Alfons: ...............

I put my black gloves back on and confront the man aiming a gun.

"Go ahead, hero of justice. Try shooting me."

I tried to spit those words out, but---,

**flashback**

Kate: No… Please don't die.

Kate: My love, my feelings, they're still…

Kate: Please don't let them become an illusion…

**flashback over**

Alfons: ----......

The words caught in my throat.

(... This is no good.)

My past self, who threw my life away in front of her, would laugh at me now.

I couldn't even bring myself to lie and say, "Go ahead and kill me."

(I'm different from those adults. Because I have love.)

The "love" I whisper is always a lie.

I am an illusion, who you may never see again, who you may never meet again.

Even so, "there may be a moment of salvation."

That kind of hope is necessary to crawl through this bleak reality.

... Shallow, pitiful, and yet, lovely, isn't it?

I whispered empty words of love and sought only a convenient relationship without love.

I was about to disappear without loving or being loved—-.

(—You ruined everything.)

Kate: Why do you reject me like this, when all I do is love you…?

(You appeared before me,)

(and foolishly, directly, tried to shower me with love.)

My body is heavy with the love I've consumed,

and I can no longer simply vanish like an illusion.

I still don't know if we can love each other properly.

Just then---,

Kate: Put the gun down—!

Her trembling voice fell into the darkness of the night.

Alfons: ....!

Over the man's shoulder, he could see Kate aiming a gun.

Kate: If you move, I'll shoot.

(... What are you doing?)

Before he could be surprised, he was exasperated.

(Are you going to become a murderer for me?)

(If I die, you'll forget who you pulled the trigger for.)

(Only guilt will remain in your hands.)

Even though you know you might be thrown into the abyss someday, how can you love so openly and straightforwardly?

Frankly, I don't understand.

(Come to think of it, you've always been like this.)

(So serious, so stubborn, so straightforward.)

--That's why I want you.

I want you to keep looking at me straight on.

(So much that it burns into my retina.)

(Even if I die and everyone in the world forgets me--I want you to remember me vividly.)

If proper love doesn't seek anything in return, then what's nesting in my heart must be something else entirely.

(But... love doesn't need anything in return, right?)

I don't believe in those useless sermons I've heard somewhere, but seeing her throw herself into love like this, I can't help but believe.

I still don't know if I can love her properly.

(Love doesn't seek anything in return... if that's true,)

(then it's okay if I devour that proper love and drive you crazy, right?)

-

(Back to Kate's POV)

Kate: I'll go buy something. Wait here for a bit.

Alfons muttered that he was a little hungry, and I wanted to eat something delicious with him,

so I ran alone through the night to a sweets shop that was open late.

(I hope Alfons likes it too.)

(Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever asked him about his taste preferences.)

The bag was filled with the sweet smell of crumbly fudge that melts in your mouth, cupcakes with cream, and the shop's popular sweets.

(I didn't buy it now because it's hard to eat, but the apple crumble cake at that shop is also exquisite.)

(I want Alfons to try it someday.)

I'll invite him to the café next time.

As I smiled at the thought, I saw a figure in the place where I had parted with Alfons.

Kate: Al---, .....?

(There's someone else there...?)

The paper bag I was carrying fell onto the cobblestones at my feet.

The sound seemed strangely distant.

--A gun was pointed at Alfons.

Kate: …… –– !!

The moment I understood, the scene that had seemed like slow motion flashed back.

His body slowly tilting.

The memory of his shoulder collapsing on the floor, stained with blood, came back to me, and fear rose from the pit of my stomach.

(Alfons …… !)

My fingers trembled with agitation, but I managed to move them and fumble for the leg holster under my skirt.

(Who was that—no.)

(More importantly, I have to save Alfons now ……!)

Man: Then I'll kill you--and we'll become justice!

Alfons: .................

I shivered, not because I felt murderous intent from the man's back—

but because the way Alfons was looking at him with a very calm expression told me that even this was commonplace.

This must be the price of their creed of "fighting evil with evil."

If I want to stay by his side, this is the reality I can't turn away from.

And for me, who doesn't want him to disappear yet—,

I have no choice but to block the murderous intent directed at him.

Kate: Put the gun down—!

Man: ––Eh !?

I pulled my gun from the holster and aimed it from behind.

Kate: If you move, I'll shoot.

Man: Tsk…!

The man froze, then slowly lowered the arm that was holding the gun.

(... Good, it looks like I won't have to shoot.)

I relaxed a little.

At that moment—the man suddenly turned around.

Kate: ---Huh!?

The muzzle of the gun was pointed straight at me.

(No...!)

I instinctively tried to squeeze the trigger without even aiming,

Immediately after---.

Man: Ugh …… gah …… !!

A red, wet blade protruded from the center of the man's chest.

Kate: Ah …… Alfons ……

Alfons: Oops, my bad. I accidentally created a grotesque object in such a conspicuous place.

When the saber was pulled out of his body, the man collapsed on the spot.

Alfons: I need to ask Victor to clean this up as soon as possible.

Kate: ……!

He quickly sheathed his blood-soaked saber, surely to keep me from seeing it.

Exasperation and affection washed over me at his thoroughness in trying to shield me from reality.

Kate: Alfons, are you... alright?

Alfons: Of course, as you can see.

He spread his arms wide, then suddenly gave me a reproachful look.

Alfons: That aside. You were about to shoot randomly, weren't you, Kate?

Alfons: What if the trajectory had been off or the bullet had gone through and hit me?

--CHOICES--

I felt like I wouldn't hit you

I practiced, so I thought it'd be okay

I didn't have time to think

----------------

Kate: …… I didn't have time to think that far ahead.

Alfons: Oh my, how scary.

Footsteps approached, and the gun was taken from my palm.

Alfons' hand gently enveloped my empty hand.

Alfons: …… Hey, Kate.

Alfons: Please use the gun only to protect yourself, not for me.

Alfons: I'd rather not be accidentally shot by you.

Alfons: …… Besides, I've learned that I can't die so easily anymore.

The whisper echoed sweetly in my ears as "truth" –

Kate: .....!

The fear and tension I had felt a moment ago suddenly overflowed in my chest, and I collapsed on the spot.

Alfons: Oops.

The hand that had been supporting me now wrapped around my waist.

Clinging to him with my weakened hand, I raised my head and met his gaze directly.

Kate: You absolutely promise...?

"It's not so easy to die"...... It's true, that's what Alfons said.

(But, when he rushed to my side just now......)

For a moment, it seemed as if Alfons had given up on living.

With his eyes wide open, if I wasn't there by his side, holding his hand,

He would easily sway between life and death again –

Kate: You absolutely, absolutely, must not die somewhere I don't know......

Gripping his chest tightly, his eyes fell to my hand – and he laughed.

Alfons: Well, as you've seen, I'm often in life-or-death situations, so "absolutely" is difficult, but I'll do my best.

He answered so nonchalantly and cheerfully that I got angry.

Kate: This is where you're supposed to say "absolutely," even if it's a lie......

Alfons: Hehe, you're right. How unlike me, to accidentally tell the truth.

Alfons: I even missed a perfect chance to die naturally and saved you.

Alfons: Can't you trust me for the time being?

"For the time being" is too uncertain a time frame to be satisfied with.

At the very least, I want compensation for the strain on my heart when I saw Alfons being held at gunpoint and my breath almost stopped.

Kate: ......Next year.

Kate: If you promise to go to the pie-throwing festival with me next year, I'll believe you......

Alfons: .....

Alfons: Heh...... Ahaha! You're really such a fool, aren't you?

Kate: You won't promise?

Alfons: Yes, yes, I will. Let's get messy together next year too.

But the trouble is, promising next year makes me want to be with you even more.

Kate: ......What about the year after next?

Alfons: Well, you see, we can promise that next year if we're still alive, right?

Kate: You're saying things that make me uneasy again......

Alfons: Hehe...... I can't help it, I want to see that pouting face.

Kate: ......

He poked my lips, and the corners of my mouth tingled.

Even if reality is a cruel darkness.

His gray eyes reflect me.

Just that makes me believe that the light of hope continues to shine.

Alfons: Well then...... I think I've come to somewhat understand this "proper love" you speak of.

Alfons: ......Shouldn't we end this wholesome date about now?

-

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Mad Love Chapter 24 Premium Story

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.

Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.

[running-in-the-dark]

god I'm literally just so stupid. I can't think the way you have to think to write a scientific paper. I can't. I try and I try and it just does not work. I can't do this.

[aftermathing]

.

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

i was raised to be very polite and whatever and i get it. i like to be nice to people. but the whole "good morning! how was your day" and small talk stuff is just. unnecessary. i would find talking to people much more pleasant if we could initiate conversations with cool facts or interesting topics. i want to discuss interesting things not exchange niceties that everyone lies about anyway. i mean, if someone says 'how's it going' you have to say 'good' or whatever but you can't say 'life sucks can we move on from this?' it's silly to me. what i really love is when i meet someone and they have absolutely no filter. like yessss tell me your whole life story right now i need to know. it is much more interesting than the weather (though the weather is a good subject sometimes but i may just think so bc where i live has a tendency for wild weather. when it's good it's boring but starting a conversation with 'yeah i got locked out of the buildings when they auto-locked during the windstorm and had to grab a bench bc the pressure was enough to knock me over and the locks on the doors were constantly turning on and off so i had to figure out how to open the doors when i could sneak inside so that i didn't abandon other people to the brutal winds' like. that's fine. i like that but normal weather talk is boring)

[phlyaros]

im gonna be real anon I don't care about label shit ship discourse I care about if real people are getting hurt and ONE reblog from someone being jokingly aggressive on the subject isn't enough to convince me that people are getting hurt when there's more evidence to the contrary. you've put me in a shitty situation here and I don't want to engage with it. please just ask people what they actually think next time before you go throwing your assumptions at other people.

[the-trans-dragon]

It’s fucking annoying that upper management won’t let me off light duty, but being forbidden to do my old duties and being scolded for doing any extra work sure has forced me to stop being a hardworking dedicated diligent employee.

Yesterday I made a cute little paper chain, using long strips I cut from a torn paper bag, and using some techniques I invented to hold it together without any additional materials (I’m sure my techniques are old and very simple compared to more advanced stuff, but I’m having so much fun trying to reinvent things purely by experimenting around). I threw it away in a specific place to guarantee it won’t be seen by The Manager Who Deadpan Threatens To Kill Me For Small Mistakes I Make Because I Wasn’t Ever Trained For This Job Position.

This morning I was getting ready for work and my chronic illness flared up, and I was in so much pain that I couldn’t stop my throat from trying to scream. Normally I just ignore it and go to work, even though it means risking my health and creating a small but serious possibility of ending up in emergency surgery, but today? I called in sick.

I should write my manager a thank you letter. “Thank you for saying you’d kill me if I ran out of quarters again. And for always assuring me that I’m doing everything wrong. It’s good to know I’ll never be adequate for you, because I’m finally learning to prioritize myself over everything else. I still get scolded for it, but at least I benefit from caring about myself, unlike when I care about my job and put all of my effort into doing as much work as possible.

And thank you for teaching me how to ignore the opinions of others. I never did figure out how to handle being treated worthless—I always stood up for myself, even when it meant risking my life. But I finally figured out how to say “Yes” and “Okay.” The trick is: I don’t have to mean it, just say it. It’s okay to lie to people. You taught me that if have to pick between arguing and lying, I should just lie. You always think I’m lying anyways, so I know you don’t believe it, but I guess it imitates respect enough to be satisfactory.

I realize this lesson is one that many people learn during childhood, so I hope you’ll forgive me for not knowing it in advance. Thank you for the miraculous opportunity to make up for my messy childhood.”

[thebleedingeffect]

.

[toastsnaffler]

ohhhhh my god girl i don't careeeee

[viosjaan]

i don't think you want anything to do with me anymore so i can just vent the texts i want to send to you here

[piplupod]

was using my dbt skills SOOOO well at the very end of dbt class today when one of the classmates and one of the group leaders/teachers (that I like and respect -_-) started talking about how good of a game the hogwarts game is 😭😭 just biting my tongue so hard as i got my coat on so fast to leave before I said anything and telling myself it isnt worth it

[kawluv]

What should you learn from your Sun's house? [1-12] Для ру.астро пабликов: указывайте мой тгк @cherrishyoutarot при использовании поста.

Sun in the 1st house: You have to learn how to work in a team. Individualism and independence are wonderful, but do not forget that you are a part of society and interaction with people is inevitable. You need to learn how to listen and hear those around you. Don't resist working in pairs or in a team, it's okay to ask someone for help.

Sun in the 2nd house: You need to learn not to get hung up on finances, to switch attention from the material aspect of life to the lively emotional aspect. Be generous, share resources (but in moderation). Look deep down, not at the surface.

Sun in the 3rd house: The lesson here is that you do not carry information through yourself lightly, but seriously comprehend it and accept it. You should learn to slow down, slow down your mental processes and be more in the moment. When you are in your head a lot and thoughts are constantly spinning thoughtlessly in your head, you need to learn how to stop it and be in the moment.

Sun in the 4th house: People in this position may have a strong attachment to the family, so strong that it can stop their own development. Maybe it's not just a tie to the family, but specifically to comfort and safety. You need to learn not to be afraid to leave your comfort zone, not to get attached to your family so much that you forget about your own growth. Trust the world, the comfort zone may be wider than it is now, the main thing is to go beyond it and get used to a wider range of new things.

Sun in the 5th house: You need to learn how to express your creativity to other people, inspire them and motivate them. Appreciate not only yourself, but also those around you, whether they are friends or like-minded people. Be generous with the people around you and don't judge people for their personalities.

Sun in the 6th house: It may be important for the Sun in the 6th house to let go of control, to understand that people, just like you, are not perfect and this is normal. You need to learn to relax, not to take responsibility for something that is not your problem. Be more patient with other people, do not condemn their flaws and inconsistency with your standards. It's okay to make mistakes.

Sun in the 7th house: As the owner of this placement too, I realized an important thing for myself. You and I need to learn not to lose ourselves in relationships with other people. Attachment is not bad, but you should not focus on your partner / friend and put them at the center of your life. Learn to be alone, do not be afraid of loneliness, but accept it. Enjoy the time spent alone with yourself when you can take care of yourself or just relax. Find your favorite business, hobby and put yourself and your interests at the center of your life.

Sun in the 8th house: You need to take life changes easier. Rethink the situations in your head less, instead accept and let them go. Don't get hung up on getting revenge on someone, just let them go. Letting go and accepting is the way to harmony within. With them comes ease in life. Forgive other people and yourself.

Sun in the 9th house: In this house, the lesson will be tied to being in the state of a "student", not a "teacher". You should accept that you may not know everything in the world and your opinion may also be wrong and that's okay. Learn to listen more, accept more, absorb more. Do not teach people, do not think that you know how it will be better for another person. This is not your responsibility. People have different opinions, worldviews, and your truth may not be the truth for others. Don't impose your point of view.

Sun in the 10th house: Your lesson is not to give yourself completely to work, but to devote time to family, friends, and your hobbies. Learn to relax, remember about regular quality rest. Remember that you don't have to meet someone's expectations and exhaust yourself in order to be valued and loved. Patience and perseverance, of course, surmount every difficulty, but have you tried a long and high-quality sleep? Sun in the 11th house: It is necessary for you to learn to be flexible in communicating with people, to be able to share your feelings, and not to close yourself off from them. Accept that it is possible that you will not always do what you want and will not always be as individual as you would like. We live in a society, we are all connected and similar to each other.

Sun in the 12th house: Dear 12-housers, I understand that it can be hard for you to be down to earth, but you need to do it. Do not drown in your mind, get out of your stagnation and ascetism. Take a look at the world, communicate more with people, trust people. Don't miss the chance to have more joyful moments and experiences! Look beyond the usual, look wider.