they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
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Happy World Frog Day! 🐸
I hate to make this a commercialised holiday, but you may be interested to know that I sell some frog-related merch on RedBubble, including the poster shown above, stickers, and other fun stuff like an awesome froggy shower curtain! I have one at home, and it’s excellent. Profits go towards supporting your local frog scientist.
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List of “so… this is how a situationship feels like, and it sucks” prompts
“See… The thing is, if we ever “break up”, I’d be devastated. Not because we were ever together, but because I’d be wondering about the what ifs and could haves and the potential we could have had. I think that’s what would hurt the most: wondering if we could have been the best thing out there, and not being able to see that come into fruition.”
“I mean, I’d rather be as we are than lose you entirely.”
“You’re confusing the shit out of me! Like, do you like me, or do you not? Do you want me or what the fuck? What are we?”
“You broke my heart, but we weren’t even fucking together in the first place, which makes this all the shittier. You played me, then moved on like you didn’t leave a mark turned scar on me.”
“So like… Are we just going to dance around our feelings and act like we don’t want something more? Or is it just me who feels this way?”
“I feel like if you truly wanted to be with me then it wouldn’t be so hard for me to have you around me for even just a minute, you know?”
“Maybe you should end things with them? Before you get hurt.“ “Well, I know I’m probably going to get my heart broken at the end of this but I also like to suffer. Actually, to be honest, I’m already hurt, but thanks for worrying about me!”
“I get this rush when I talk to you. It’s a high I chase, and I know it’s unhealthy, but I can’t stop.”
“So apparently I don’t know how to respect myself, because I’m wanting someone who doesn’t want me back as much, if at all.”
“Some stupid part of me believes one day this could become something more, so then I end up hurting myself because it’s apparently what I do best, because I know this isn’t going to become something more. I’m deluding myself.”
“I say I’m going to get over them when they stop responding for a while, but I damn well know I’d run back to them the moment they hit me up again.”
“I’ve long accepted the fact that we won’t ever move past this stage, but then you do shit like that and it gives me hope, and that fucking hurts.”
“You want the security a relationship gives you, and everything else it has to offer, but you don’t want a relationship. Well, at least with me. What the hell? You don’t get to string me along like this, you fucking asshole.”
“Well, I’m sick and tired of this shit. Either we become official or you lose me.”
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