#i think i'm funny and really that's all that matters

[mcflymemes]

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (2022) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the film, adjust as necessary

in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.

the universe is so much bigger than you realize.

maybe we would have been better off if we had never gotten married.

why are you dressed all stupid?

you're just very bad at explaining.

how did i die?

he who loves the most regrets the most.

why would anybody want to kill me?

it's the way you look at me.

how do you think i feel?

you can either come with me and live up to your ultimate potential, or lie here and live with the consequences.

do you still want to do your party?

you are not unlovable. there is always something to love.

you think i'm weak, don't you?

can we just stop fighting?

you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything.

i'm tired. i don't want to hurt anymore.

i still want to be here with you. i will always, always want to be here with you.

if nothing matters, then all the pain and guilt you feel for making nothing of your life goes away.

we're all small and stupid.

i wasn't looking for you so i could kill you.

so what? you're just gonna ignore everything else?

i will cherish these few specks of time.

i've been on this earth just as many days as you.

i know better than to ask to help you.

so we'll talk later... like this afternoon?

you look really pretty right now.

you took everything away from me.

we're all useless alone.

i don't know what i'd do without you.

i only made enough food for three people. i'll have to cook more.

i always learn something when i hang out with the elderly. old people are very wise.

everything i do, i try to make things simpler, easier.

maybe you can audition, too.

i don't know how to be any fucking clearer.

i didn't mean that. it was a joke.

the only thing i do know... is that we have to be kind.

i know you see yourself as a fighter.

that's not a very funny joke.

actors are very poor.

it's nice to feel needed.

i was thinking, maybe after this is all done, we can go on a trip.

if i have to think about one more thing today, my head will explode.

you may be in grave danger. there is no time to explain. hold this.

can't you see how wonderful it'll be? we can make our own way.

i'm here because we need your help.

sorry, very busy today. no time to help you.

i have spent years searching for the one who might be able to match this great evil with an even greater good and bring back balance.

i know it's a lot to take in right now.

i can see where this story's going, and it doesn't look good.

you're always trying to confuse us with these words.

i know you. with every passing moment, you fear that you might have missed your chance to make something of your life.

don't let anything distract you from it.

our time here is up. they are going to kill us.

i may be old, but i still know how to negotiate.

[phantomrose96]

My favorite part of Sham Sacrifice is that I'm interpreting Jack and Maddie as not even realizing the worst horror. "Oh, our son died and he didn't realize/is in denial", but not yet "Our son knows he is a ghost, and he's heard everything we've said about ghosts." (I actually formed this comment in my head before remembering they know about "Phantom" and would realize that's Danny, but like. "dissociative personality". there's ways for denial to make that work.)

Damn, Vlad really was 19 and horribly ill and the show wanted us to side against him/find him pathetic for having "pimples". Damn.

So Danny and Vlad are just dragging their corpses around in an intangible/invisible state whenever they're not using them. Overshadowing a person and there's also a whole ass other human body in there just shifted over a bit.

(Sham Sacrifice: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2)

Good good good good good!!!

Yeah the leap from "our son has died and we killed him" to "our son is the ghost we've been tormenting" is Right there but like, they're still grappling with the Stage 1 of this horror. The rest of the onion is waiting.

Also big yes about Vlad. I was talking with the friend @ghostfiish about this and canon SURE makes Vlad's lab accident out to be like "Oh man this guy got GHOST acne--scary teens amiright? Totally killed his social life because, acne? amiright?" and it's so blasé and unserious and dismissive of Vlad. Strips his dignity and makes it like it was almost funny. Then Masters of All Time comes around and makes it known to the audience hey ecto-acne is fatal.

We only really got Jack's dismissive version of events but... I'm not exaggerating canon at all when I say Jack's utter recklessness in turning the portal on while Vlad was in front of it, along with its botched construction, caused it to malfunction and blast Vlad in the face, infecting him a case of lethal ecto-acne and ruining him so badly Jack basically never saw him again. Jack killed his friend and doesn't even think it matters. Come on!!

This is not to dismiss -gestures at everything Vlad's ever done- but I'm not leaving this on the floor. I'm bringing it to the Hey can we talk about this? table.

Also spinning that last paragraph around in my head. Fascinating idea of there-but-not for the human body when halfas go ghost mode. Is it right there underlaying the ghost form, or not? None of this is natural, not even for a ghost.

[treason-and-plot]

At the other end of the table Helene gives a gentle laugh and spears a glistening piece of steak with her fork. Tom takes a long drink from his beer glass, as if toasting his own wit. Connor sets his fork down on his plate. Saffron tries to make eye contact with him but he is staring at the wooden salt and pepper shakers, his jaw clenched.

“That's not true at all,” Saffron says to Tom. "Why would you even say that?"

“Saff, it's okay," says Connor. “Dad just thinks he's being funny. Don't worry about it."

“All I'm trying to say is that Helene and I are exceedingly grateful to you for all you've done for Connor this term," says Tom. He bestows his shark-like smile upon her once again, but she doesn't smile back. “I meant academically, but I’m sure you’ve helped him in myriad other ways as well. We’ve noticed a lot of positive changes, haven’t we Helene?"

“Oh, definitely,” says Helene.

“What are you talking about? You wouldn't notice if I grew two heads,” says Connor.

“Watch the attitude, son,” says Tom. His tone is pleasant, and sends a small shiver down Saffron's spine.  

“I'm glad to hear that you think I'm a positive influence, because I was paranoid you'd think I was a bad influence after I made Connor skip school with me the other day," says Saffron. Tom looks at her blankly, his eyebrows raised.

“I didn’t hear anything about this,” says Tom. “Did you, Hel?”

“I think I may have received a voicemail or an email from the school, now that you mention it,” Helene says. “I probably just assumed it was a message asking me to donate to the second-hand uniform sale or something.”

“Wow," says Saffron. “My mother went off her head.”  

“Saffron’s mother is a police officer,” Helene tells Tom, as if this is the sole explanation for her reaction.

“Ah,” says Tom. “And what does your father do, Saffron?”

“Here we go,” mutters Connor.

“He operates a chain of childcare centres,” says Saffron.

“Really,” says Helene. “What's the name of his business?”

“Little Sprouts,” says Saffron. Both Helene and Tom make noises signifying their recognition and approval. 

“Oh, I’ve heard they’re doing very well!” Helene says. “Didn’t he just open several more centres?”

“Yeah, he’s got five now,” says Saffron.

“Does he use an accountancy firm?” says Tom. Connor mutters something under his breath.

“I think Mireille- his girlfriend- does all the accounting,” says Saffron.

“There’s a wise saying that I like to tell my clients, Saffron,” says Tom. “And that saying is: 'It’s not the money that matters, it’s how you use it that determines its true value'.”

He pauses for effect.

“Woah. Interesting,” Saffron deadpans while Connor stifles a loud yawn. Helene narrows her eyes at him.

“Now, I’m sure your Dad’s girlfriend is more than competent in the area of bookkeeping and handling the payroll and the rest of the basics, but how up to date is she with the latest tax laws?” says Tom. “Does she know how to forecast cash flow? Does she realise the importance of accurate record keeping? Does she have access to the most up-to-date accounting software, which will enable she and your father to maximise business efficiency and productivity?” 

"I have no idea," says Saffron sweetly. "But I'm guessing you do, right?"

[olderthannetfic]

OOC and canon characterisation is a bit funny, bc as people noted there is wiggle room and not everyone reads that character the same.

Everythings gonna be a bit OOC if you write a fic, because that's what writing alternating plot means. Even if it's just a tiny change, it could be OOC because "That's not what happened in canon, so it's all ooc." could be used if you want to be really narrow.

But I can also see that some extremer OOC'ness can be really off putting making it feel less like a fanfic and more like either an original story with some names written in, resulting in it coming across badly written and like the writer has never interacted with canon. Or, a recycled fanfic from another fandom with the names replaced, which I've seen happen and can be very obvious and noticeable.

Personally I don't really care as long as people tag it, but I'm also just someone who prefers tagging regardless so I can find things. I only feel bad for a few "Extreme OOC" fics I've encountered that seemed to be well written, but are completely uninteresting because of the level of OOC. A fandom friend used to rec me fics that would also fall into that camp. But if I wanted to read a fandom-fic, I wouldn't be interested in reading extreme OOC. If I was feeling a different fandom I'm not going to bother to look up, or find that fic, especially if I'm not interested in reading "those" characters right now, no matter how OOC they are or good the story is.

--

Lots of people are viewing canon through a funhouse mirror. It's foolish to think they're writing OOC on purpose.

[utilitycaster]

I love your thoughts on Astrid and I think a lot about whether her initial ambition to become powerful for the sake of power turned into the ambition for power so no one else has power over her. I truly do not think she begrudges Wulf his faith any more than she begrudges Caleb his new life though I would not be surprised if both are sources of some pain for her. (in a way the three of them remind me of trees. Caleb lost a part of himself but that allowed new sprouts to come forth. Wulf found faith that allowed the damage to be lessened by giving support to the damaged part of the tree. And Astrid is the one with neither who grows around the damage in the only direction she ever knew though it costs her much more in the long term than the other solutions)

Hi anon,

So I think I say this whenever I get similar asks - completely valid to have your own headcanons, but (and this is foreshadowing for the rest of this ask) I am not much of a people pleaser and I will openly disagree, as I'm about to, and this might be a conversation better had in DMs or replies or something because doing so via anon gets to be a lot of back and forth.

I really respect people who relate to Astrid as a survivor of abuse who finds some measure of peace and who simply acknowledges she, Eadwulf, and Caleb all found separate ways to move forward. I completely understand that can be very meaningful and would never take that interpretation from them.

With that said, I happen to personally prefer a view of Astrid who is capable of that bitterness. I like the possibility that she is not just ambitious (which, that on its own is often considered sufficient to lambast female characters; see the Suvi Kedberiket discourses surrounding Worlds Beyond Number) but also very angry, and at times bitter, and at times resentful.

I think a lot of fans struggle with the gray area between unambigously heroic women and unambiguously villainous ones, both because in that gray area is a complexity women in fiction are frequently denied, and also because it requires a look at specific emotions women aren't supposed to have. Women can be sad; they can be traumatized; and they've been granted such qualities as "determined" or "can use a sword" or "leaders" but I think people really still struggle with anger, and especially anger that is not specifically directed towards abusers (like Beau or Yasha or Vex) nor righteous (like Keyleth) but petty or even simply irrational.

I like Astrid as a woman who might hold a grudge she knows intellectually is unfair but who feels it anyway. I think about how she wanted to kill Trent in the moment, and that Fjord (someone whose story is very much about both forgiveness and the legitimacy of grudges and a desire for power) validates her for it even though it's true that Caleb's method of exposing Trent's crimes is probably more effective. I like her as someone who is incredibly intelligent and who probably has an idea of what the "good" thing to do is and still feels a lot of ugly feelings and possibly always will, even though she has found a much healthier way forward. I don't know quite how this interrogation will go, but it is interesting that she's in hiding in Zadash and has apparently not openly broken with the Assembly.

It's funny, because this is on some level what many people want for much of Bells Hells - they want them to be angry at the gods for neglecting them. It's just...they also want that anger to be righteous. And sometimes anger isn't. Anger is often petty and detrimental and yet still very real. What appeals to me about Astrid is that she is very much a complicated person who does straddle a line between ally and antagonist and is permitted a depth and messiness and moral ambiguity that many fans deliberately try to excise from women (and, for that matter, characters of color/in-world racialized characters and many queer characters). So I do like an Astrid who clearly cares for Caleb and for Eadwulf and does not treat them poorly, but does perhaps nurse some privately-held grudges.

[wu-sisyphus-gang]

can we get a piece written about jaunes newest medication (perscribed this time!) and weiss/rubys reactions when they find out it reduces libido funny or heartfelt either way theres potential there

Weiss: How's this latest batch of meds treating you?

Ruby: I know there's been... Um... Problems in the bedroom.

Jaune: Fuck. Thanks for the emasculation Rubes. I know you tried not to step on my feelings but treating me like I'm glass is like you slapped me all the harder.

Ruby: So...?

Jaune: I don't think this is the right dose for me. I feel like I constantly need to cry but can't.

Ruby: You can cry. No one will judge you.

Jaune: You don't get it. I would love to. I physically cannot.

Ruby: What do we do for you? You're hurting. It sucks. How can we help?

Jaune: There's nothing for you to do! It's Atlas all over again.

Ruby: Don't leave...

Jaune: I'm not leaving. But all there is for you to do is watch me suffer. I hate putting you in that position. You don't deserve that. It's not fair on you. On either of you.

Weiss: We want to be in that position.

Jaune: At least get frustrated with me for fucks sake. Two girls want to suck my dick and I still can't get it up? What the hell is the matter with me?

Weiss: No.

Ruby: Why do you want us to be mad at you?

Jaune: At least then I would know the ball is in my court. It would vindicate my bad thoughts a little.

Ruby: 'What's wrong with me?' 'Why can't I express my love?' That kind of thing?

Jaune: Yeah.

Weiss: We know it's the medication. You were getting and maintaining an erection just fine before we started this batch which I asked you to take. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine.

Ruby: Yeah. I know you love me. Weiss knows you love her. We just need to be patient.

Weiss: Blame me.

Jaune: I could never blame you. And I don't know if I can do this until I really try. I would do anything for you. It's easy to say. Would I really? Would I kill my friends if you asked? Would I abstain from substances even if I really like them if you asked? I'm having kids with you. Because you asked and that's hard. Maybe even the hardest thing you could ask me to do.

Weiss: It means so much to me you're willing to suffer for a whim of mine.

Jaune: I couldn't be around your babies while high. That's not a whim of yours. I wouldn't call it that. I'm too powerful to be around your babies and experiencing psychosis.

Ruby: I'm grateful too. I'm glad Weiss asked you to do this. I don't know if I would have or not. But I'm glad.

Jaune: You're both very welcome.

[beanghostprincess]

Sometimes I scroll through your blog just to Vibe and Turn Off The Brain bc Safe Space Energy, and every single time, I go "Yeah this is great, nice and chill, no thought, head happy-" and then I get SLAMMED with ideas for fics.

Like. Your opinions and takes and tastes are PEAK and so full of inspiration,,,,,,

I am currently in an AroAce Luffy Mood so accept my crew x Lu ideas

ZoLu as a partnership where they call one another Their Boyfriend, and they pass as a romantic relationship. Luffy doesn't really Get Romantic Feelings but he DOES love. He has squishes on his whole crew, but Zoro is His Zoro.

Zoro, for his part, is aromantic or some flavor thereof where his devotion to Luffy is maybe romantic love, maybe platonic love, who cares, he'd do anything for his captain.

Simultaneously, Luffy has a queer platonic relationship with most people on the crew, they are HIS and the only boundaries he'll respect at the ones they establish. Who cares about propriety? They're PIRATES!

After different arcs, Luffy gets Clingier to certain people - it's either New Friend Fawning or Not So Hidden Abandonment Issues Cropping Up. Sometimes it's just a need for comfort, either on his end or for one of his people.

Sanji spent a long time keeping everyone... kind of at arm's length. Ussop and he wind up falling into orbit, and life isgood, is beautiful, Sanji is so happy - but he also is so terrified.

He will follow his captain to the end of the world, and he loves his crew, his friends, with everything he has. There is no where on the planet he'd be safer than there, with them. But Luffy's eyes, so dark and searching and Seeing - they make him antsy. It's alright in passing, in energetic moments. It's unbearable during those rare moments of calm examination. Sanji makes it clear very early on that he's not into that.

It's only after WCI that Luffy grabs Sanji into a tight hug late one evening, them both sitting up, awake and alone in the small kitchen. It's then that calloused rubber hands cup a stubble dotted jaw, a forehead pressed to forehead, and brown-black-red eyes meet blue and Luffy just... waits.

And Sanji? Oh, he's tired. He's tired, he's sad, he's hurt but he's safe and-

He's Luffy's.

He is baptized under that gaze that night with hot cocoa in their tongues and warmth in their hearts and Sanji lets himself have this. It doesn't matter if he deserves it, it doesn't matter if it's alright, all that matters is that It Is, that he can claim it for himself.

Just. Idek where I was going with this honestly. Just AAAAAAAAAAA

You can't just say I'm a comfort blog for you and not expect me to start crying 😭😭💖💖💖 That's the nicest thing ever, please,,, Sobbing. I'm glad you like my posts <33 And I'm always in an aroace/aroaspec Luffy mood so PLEASE tell me your thoughts 💛💛

Aroace Zolu is so funny to me. They're a third secret thing. It's like they are not boyfriends but they are boyfriends but actually that's just how first mates/captains are with each other but they're special and unlike anybody else and-- You get me.

And I agree btw I think Luffy has QPR relationships everywhere in the crew (I mean. Mostly east blue crew but yeah) because his way of loving is more than just friendship but it's not romantic love either? And they don't need a word for that because they are pirates so it doesn't matter at all what labels they use as long as they're happy with it.

The last part btw????? Do you want me to CRY?????? Aghhh. I love Sanji opening up and accepting the love Luffy has to offer him. It's my favorite flavor of Lusan.

This was great,, Awesome incredible even,,, Made my day <33

[youllalwaysfindyourwaybackhome]

I'm late to the party with this but I've been thinking about I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) as an alternative coda to But Daddy I Love Him. In the final chorus of BDILH, we have a vision of the future where the singer and her 'wild boy' lover have come back to town and won everyone over - or at least everyone whose opinion matters to them. But I think ICFHNRIC shows the future that would actually happen, where the singer's infatuation with her lover is shattered by his increasingly poor behaviour and she comes to the realisation that she can't fix him.

Both songs include a public censure/concern over the relationship with Christian undertones - "Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best / clutchin' their pearls, sighing 'What a mess' and "Lord knows the words / We never heard" in BDILH and "They shake their heads sayin' 'God help her' / When I tell 'em he's my man' in ICFHNRIC (the song then goes further and rejects their belief system completely - their 'good lord doesn't need to lift a finger' because 'only [she] can' fix him, and it is her, not their god, who can 'show [him] heaven'.

In BDILH, the singer is encouraging and enabling her lover's behaviour; she is "tellin' him to floor it through the fences' and refusing to come 'to her senses', but in ICFHNRIC she's come to the realisation that his jokes 'were revolting and far too loud' and that his actions are destructive. There is no 'wild joy' here, and while she lingers for a while in this moment, temporarily confident that she 'can handle a dangerous man' and that underneath it all he has a 'halo of the highest grade', the moment crumbles very quickly; there is the despairing, echoing 'I told 'em he's my man', the begging 'no really I can', and the final 'Woah, maybe I can't' in the space of the final lines of the song. 'Scandal does funny things to pride', the singer acknowledges in BDILH, and I think ICFHNRIC ends on this sudden, shocked realisation that she was out of her depth the whole time, she never had the power over him that she had thought, and perhaps that 'They' (who maybe well also be the Sarahs and Hannahs of BDILH) were right the whole time.

[misc-obeyme]

Okay, this is very much specific to myself, but whatever 🫶 What would Barbatos think of an MC that is always dressed up. VERY dressed up. For instance; I'm going to school in a petticoat, two skirts, two shirts, and a full corset... that kind of dressed up.

Like, on one hand, I think he'd really enjoy it, but on the other, I feel like he'd be constantly worried. They're NEVER dressed for the weather, they're NEVER dressed for comfort, and what are they supposed to wear to formal events when they dress like this on the daily?

He'd probably grumble about it to a bit but ultimately still adore their style and offer to make them something for those formal events.

And on the other side of the spectrum, an MC who is never dressed up at all! I'm taking hoodies and sweatpants all the time.

I'm guessing he'd respect them for their choice of comfort over style but also want them to be just a tad more formal around Lord Diavolo.

Put em together and a typically fancy MC being casual only for Barbatos?

We got that phone call from Barbatos in either his most recent or second most recent card, where he's wearing casual clothing, and we get his reaction to MC's reaction. (I hope you know the call I'm talking about because I can not find it for the life of me)

He'd totally be touched to be one of the few MC is casual around!!

I'm almost embarrassed about my reaction that phone call. It's the one called "Out of Character Teatime" and it's from the UR+ Wind Spirits & Surprises, which is his anniversary UR card.

It's great no matter what dialogue option you choose, but there's one where he talks about how he's waiting for you just as himself and not as a butler. And THAT always makes me silly.

But he also ends that call by saying he'll receive you in whichever type of clothing you prefer. Which I found accurate but also funny. I mean, he's basically saying he'll dress formal or casual depending on your preference. And I'm over here like... what if my preference is that you wear whatever you want, huh???

But along those lines, he's all about MC doing whatever they're happiest doing. So I think he'd be happy no matter what style MC chose, as long as they're doing whatever makes them most comfortable.

I think he would absolutely appreciate an MC who dresses up a lot, though. He'd be happy to make them outfits any time and he probably loves to see them wearing something he made.

He would also make clothes for a casual MC. I kinda see him making all kinds of hoodies and such. He's versatile, you know?

And either way, I think he'd be worried about MC being dressed for the weather. Like he appreciates your dedication to style, but really it's going to be cold and you need to wear a jacket. Might also scold you about it if you do it too often or if you actually get sick because of it.

There's very much this secretive aspect of his character, but it's more than just him keeping epic plot-changing secrets. There's also him kinda hiding his true self, too. He plays the part of a butler, but that isn't what defines him. He's a butler, but more than that, he's a person. A being with feelings and needs and times when he isn't perfect. And I think if he was to encounter an MC who revealed that side of themselves to him, no matter how that manifests, he would feel loved and trusted. Just like he loves and trusts MC enough to let them see him in a casual state.

Here I go writing Barb essays again lol.

[slimepuppied]

romangerri as article titles i found online.

once again most of these would work for like 80% of the succ ships.

[blujayonthewing]

[coquelicoq]

what i love about the Famous Actor Natori Shuuichi of it all is that...it's not just that he's famous and therefore widely recognizable wherever he goes. like yes that is very funny because he was an exorcist before he became a famous actor, which means he CHOSE, on purpose, a day job that would make it harder to hide his double life/secret identity from the hordes of his adoring public, but it's more than that. it's not just that he's famous, it's that he's famous specifically for being an ACTOR, aka a person whose job it is to dissimulate, to make believe, to inhabit roles and emotions other than his own. like he decided he was going to become as visible as possible (which again was literally not necessary! he could have gone into any other career for his day job!!) but in such a way that everyone would see him but no one would see him - they would just see his various made-up personas, including the Famous Actor Natori Shuuichi persona. i can't decide if he's a genius or if he just made so many absurd decisions that they canceled each other out and circled back around to working out. he's either playing 9-dimensional chess or he's eating the pieces. too soon to say.

[sskk-manifesto]

Proof that bsd would be a lot better if they just let it pass the Bechdel test more often

[sieglinde-freud]

WHERE WERE THE AWAKENING SECOND GEN ON JULY 21ST 2023

[filmmakerdreamst]

TV Show!Lyra: We need to go to the land of the dead to save Roger TV Show!Will Parry: But I promised my dead shitty dad that I'd help your shitty dad tHIs isn't some FAirytale!!! Book!Lyra: We need to go to land of the dead to save Roger Book!Will Parry: Sure thing dear

[suburbanlegnd]

the way everyone has been annoying me lately