#i think ill die if i see one ngl

[marminko]

Ok but the things it would do to the collector community if we saw even an ounce of collector species lore, let alone seeing one

[transgaysex]

btw i did not get my testosterone dose raised bc my endocrinologist said that im already on the higher side of testosterone in my blood by cis men standards and she didnt want to overdose me

[6ebe]

Why complex trauma?

His dad having longterm illness to me feels more complex + that with ongoing stress of his career + other losses at a young age but it could also be seen as multiple acute traumas. Like it’s not my business to diagnose him but I personally identify my mums terminal illness as an aspect of complex trauma in my life but these aren’t like hard and fast definitions I mean I don’t think Charles would know the difference himself

[vaguely-concerned]

it probably says something either sad or deeply unfortunate about me as a person, but I'm darkly amused to see some people react to the reveal of the ultimate permeability of souls in tlt as a triumphant thing -- the "you can't take 'loved' away!!!" side of it all -- when my first reaction was such an immediate wave of 'oh, oh so this is why this series is horror, I truly understand now' distress haha. ngl the final confirmation of the self not being inviolable in the deepest way freaks me the fuck out far more than any moment of body horror in the series has managed. (these two elements are of course the two sides of one thematic coin; it's about the horror of our bodies and minds and selves not being inviolable things, and about the effect of violence on them on so many different levels. violence psychological and interpersonal, physical, subtextually sexual, emotional, medical, political, a whole unlovely smörgåsbord of indignity and violation a person can be exposed to, and on a broader scale the spectrum of violence colonialism wields). The world and other people being capable of leaving indelible marks on us for good or ill through their presence in our lives is of course a pretty self-evident demonstrable truth in the real world, but somehow having it be proven metaphysically just uh. Fucks me up! 

It also drives home to me just how perfectly Muir has captured the dilemma at the heart of human connection and intimacy: the fact that the thing that gives us life and meaning is also capable of harming us so deeply. the same thing that can be so beautiful — even in a bittersweet, violently transformative form like with the creation of Paul — when done mutually and consensually and compassionately, is the same process that means someone like John can touch someone else's soul and 'after he's put his fingers on something, you'll never find anyone else's fingerprints on it; too much noise'. I think the text itself — the whole series, because to me this is what it is ultimately about, this tension between individuation/self vs. love/connection/enmeshment — is far more ambivalent in its treatment of it than saying it’s inherently a good thing or inherently a bad thing. The only thing it says for sure is that it is always a thing, that thinking you’re ever getting away from it is the height of futility, and that through being alive (or even through being dead lol) it is something you have to engage with in some way no matter what. Contact with other people is deeply necessary — without it we sicken and die. it can be the most beautiful and meaningful thing in a human life, and the most unspeakably horrific. All of these people are searching for some way to be whole, whether in total self-contained sufficiency on their own or in melding with someone else as their ‘other half’, and stumbling around in the dark they reach for each other and score deep wounds into the thing they’re trying to touch even when they don’t mean to. Taken to horrific extremes with the form of lyctorhood John guided his disciples to when they were ‘children — playing in the reflections of stars in a pool of water, thinking it was space’, because while people hurt each other all the time with differing levels of intentionality behind it, what John did was deliberate. It weaponizes the misapprehension of what closeness must be and destroys everyone involved in the process… and all because it leaves John the one sun their ruined lives have left to orbit around, because that’s the closest thing his soul will allow to connection. He doesn’t understand that to truly touch something you have to truly let it touch you back, and then wonders why he’s never satisfied.   

‘The horrors of love’ has been memed to death, I know, but… yeah. That is what it is, isn’t it.

[fatuismooches]

greetings!!! this is the first time i've ever shared my idea to anyone, kind of worry but guess that i have to share it with you because your writings are so good and i love how you execute scenarios and ideas (literally awake all night scrolling through your brainrot 😭😭😭😭)

let me tell you that fragile!reader and dottore is what keeps me awake at night i love them so much, i literally read everything in the tags, the fluff and angst is SOO GOOD NGL.

so, angst/ no comfort (because i love tormenting myself (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)⁠—⁠☆), fragile!reader and terminal lucidity - somebody suddenly became lively and conscious before their deaths. i see that you have written about fragile!reader whose memories are slowly deteriorating or slowly losing their eyesight. imagine one day, everything just come back...normal, the sudden recollection of memories, vision returned miraculously, no pain, no suffering, as if they were back to the days at Akademiya. they became gleeful, happy, full of live, no longer the gloomy, sick-ridden individual.

Dottore, of course, was surprised at this phenomenal, run more tests and check-ups just to be sure that we are actually healthy because there is no way we actually turn healthy after being sick in centuries. the segments however, especially Zandy, didn't think much about the whole ordeal. you are fine!! you can finally walking and running freely without being on life-support. your turn in health manage to turned them into a bunch of joyful, blue-haired maniacs with giddy, happy smiles on their lips.

we are fine for a few weeks, which also make Dottore himself believe that maybe, maybe his efforts have paid off, maybe our health have been stable, and maybe from now on, he could spend the rest of eternity with his beloved.

then we die (this is so mean i'm so sorry 😭😭😭😭😭). how they perish is completely up you but i'd preferably that they die in their sleep, a peaceful death. Dottore and the segments are... well, shocked is an understatement, their whole world have...gone, they'd question themself: how can this happen? you were fine in the past few weeks? In which Dottore blame himself the most, he shouldn't have believed that we were fine, he should have run more test, he should have been more cautious about the whole situation but now he completely felt... helpless, for the first time in millions of years. the only person who went thick and thin, the person that can tolerate him in the Akademiya days and the person that he can tolerate now have passed away.

(the ending is kind if short because idk what else to say since my vocabulary and grammar is rather limited. i hope this would be sufficient 😭😭😭😭😭 also looking forward on how you react to this. for now i'll just cry myself to sleep with this scenario while waiting for your work ❤️🥰)

- 🪷

It would come out of nowhere, no one expected it, no one believed it in the beginning. After all, over four hundred years of debilitating illness makes it hard for anyone to believe something good finally happened. But it does, when you first wake up you can feel that something is different - you definitely do some test runs in your room, picking up objects that were once too heavy for you, simple actions that no longer left you tired, no more aches or pains, it was marvelous. So obviously with your newfound energy, you sprint out to find anyone, hell even a random agent would do, because you're finally free. (You can already hear the voices of the segments - no running in the lab because of the very obvious dangers.)

Naturally, Dottore is very skeptical of this, yes, he does not trust how his heart beats at the sight of your glowing self putting on a little performance for him to show how healthy you are now, he can't bring himself to. He's witnessed how low you could become from the worst stages of your sickness, so although he's more than happy to see you well, the possibility of you falling back into such a state is very high. However he cannot find anything, and you don't show any visible signs either. Even so, he still watches you very closely. It's a feeling that always nags, one that may always nag him perhaps, the thought of you becoming worse. But he's not going to damper your mood with his thoughts, you should enjoy this.

Dottore and the segments would still scold you for your recklessness but realize that you are no longer sick and frail and they no longer have to fuss over your health. It's a very strange sensation that's hard to break out of since they've been doing it for so long. But it's good! You're happy! You're strong! You're the [Name] that was buried away, come to rise to the surface once more. Let's just say Zandy very much enjoys the piggyback rides. The checkups still persist as a general measure, but they always go smoothly. It seems there's nothing to worry about.

You would want to assume your role of his assistant once again right away - it's something you've been longing for, to be able to be useful to your lover just like how you once were. To live those days of banter and sharing fascinating knowledge and listening to each other's ideas once more. And so you do, Dottore's more than happy to let you, oh how he's missed you by his side so often. He's excited, he's ready to put the past four hundred years behind and move on, his mind already racing with the countless possibilities that have opened up now. Unfortunately, they don't come to fruition.

Perhaps you felt something wasn't right but it was already far too late - on the day of your death you acted like everything was normal, carrying out your new duties, but also with a lot of added affection, visiting each segment and Dottore and kissing them with all your love. They don't think much of it, you're usually affectionate like that. If only they knew that would be the last time they were embraced by you. Little Zandy too - it would be the last time you ever hugged him and listened to you read him a story. He'd be absolutely inconsolable after your death.

With you gone, the spark in his life would be gone. It would be the same routine of his duties and experiments and research, with nothing to ease his tension. Sure, he no longer has to spend lots of time finding a cure or producing medicine, but this wasn't the way he wanted it to happen. It's the same as when you were sleeping, except this time he no longer has the anticipation of you eventually waking up. Or does he?

Resurrection is a forbidden art, but he is Il Dottore, the one who has no problem sinking his hands into what should not be done, and he is Zandik, the one who loves you. If this world wants you gone so badly, then so be it. He will simply reach for your hand and pull you back to him every time, because even if it is lifeless, he will make sure it's warm once again.

[kozmicmizuu]

omg the thing thag @scrimblyscrorblo said about giyuu potentially having a whole genetic disease got my brain going ngl

————————————————————————

giyuu probably already knew he was doomed from the start, especially since eves his sister started to show some symptoms of the disease that tore is his family members apart from the inside.

giyuu didn’t tell anyone cause he didn’t want pity, the only person who really knew was kanae but she’s out of the picture now so basically no one knows. the sickness is very stealthy and only visible if you really pay attention to giyuu’s body language. like if he’s silently coughing or paler than usual or just overall weaker than usual. he gets a LOT of flare ups and it’s genuinely so annoying to him.

has shinobu noticed? obviously, she’s a doctor after all. she’s tried to secretly look at giyuu’s vitals during physical exams and she sees nothing. UNLESS- she looks in kanaes super convenient office that she hasn’t touched in years. and what does she find?? super old demon slayer corps files on tomiokas. omg the demon slayer corps keeping a record on giyuu’s family for literal generations?! and she was APPALLED by the effects of the illness.

and what shinobu found the most interesting was that she wasn’t the first to think about poisoning herself to avenge a family member. yep the tomiokas pulled that card cause they found out about muzan probably killing a small part of their family and they were like “no, fuck you im going to kill you no matter how long it takes” and then here we are. with a sick giyuu who doesn’t even know that he’s a lil human bomb for the demon king. which yes, that does mean giyuu would have to die by being consumed or have his blood somehow be in muzans body.

the poison probably ain’t even wisteria at all, probably smth worse the smart tomioka made 500 years ago just to be petty and kill or at least weaken muzan.

giyuu’s carrying an anger that isn’t even his his WHOLE life. he has expectations from family he doesn’t even know. his short temper and bitter demeanor isn’t his at all, it’s his ancestors. the angry, hate filled ancestors that want muzan gone.

the symptoms are a lil funky so here they are: aching joints, fevers, vomiting, mild allergic reactions to wisteria and high ranked demons (the closer to muzan, the stronger the effects), sudden fatigue, lack of appetite and sleep, aggressive outbursts (ancient anger boiling over), sudden headaches, temporary loss of sight (his ancestors want a peak of what he’s seeing), loss of voice, lack of energy, slight memory loss, hallucinations(his family make themselves known to him), dizziness, anxiety, paranoia.

long story short giyuu is not having a good time

————————————————————————

guys did i cook with this

[an-au-blog]

We've all seen Sora take the kids and marry Zeff or leaving Zeff custody of Sanji but hear me out: Sora doesn't die and is the one to break Sanji out of the dungeon and escapes with him. They're in some no name town in the East Blue and Sanji sneaks on to Mihawk's little coffin boat to loot him and take it back to his mom and gets caught. Mihawk walks him back to Sora who apologizes profusely and Mihawk can see that shes ill and that they're clearly out of their depth and for whatever reason, his mind cannot fathom it honestly, he offers to take the Kuraigana with him. Sora and Sanji agree too, for whatever reason, maybe they're scared because they know who he is, or they're just that desperate. Either way they agree and leave with him.

They make a supply stop a couple islands away because Mihawk realizes they have nothing except a shared back pack of clothes and that's it. Sanji is trying not to hide behind his mom from Mihawk but he's a kid who's been through a lot and Mihawk reminds him of his brothers and Judge. Mihawk gets them a few outfits and picks up some more food because of how thin they both are. When they check into an inn and Sanji's asleep Sora finds Mihawk and thanks him and says she had to save her son.

Not even a month after they're all settled in his home Mihawk finds himself extremely endeared to this duo and hopes they never leave, it takes him another three to say it and Sora cries happily and Sanji nods. Sora has taken over most of the cleaning and Sanji cooks with Mihawk a lot and Sora has improved greatly. The dynamic isnt perfect by any means but it works for them. Sometimes Sanji's nightmares will wake Mihawk up before they wake him up so Mihawk will sit with him until they do or he calms down. Sora knows a lot about caring for weapons and instruments so she'll tune the piano or clean his antique swords.

Woops Mihawk is in love and suddenly has a wife and child he didn't think he would and Newgate is going to laugh at him. Doesn't even necessarily think of the implications or anything just tells them at dinner over their plates. They don't leave until Sanji decides to go work at Baratie when he's a teen and then joins the straw hat crew. Life goes on. Everyone thinks Sanji's an orphan still since he doesn't talk about his parents. His parents read the paper.

When Perona appears Sora confirms it's not her pink haired daughter but she'll take another. And then look! Zoro's here, Sanji's nakama and the kid Mihawk almost killed, how charming. Zoro's really confused because Mihawk in the castle is different from the master training him and he's a lot softer and kind towards Sora. Sora asks them both about their adventures in pirating and such.

Zoro asks point blank if she's Sanji's mom and she laughs and mentions how that's so Sanji to not talk about them and Mihawk mentions how smart that is because otherwise oops, they're either down a son or Mihawk's bounty is unfrozen. Sora jokes that need two more to make up for the other two she has and Mihawk tells her that they cannot keep collecting kids.

Zoro is absolutely gonna kick Sanji's ass.

That's a whole-ass fix right there, damn! I actually love any au where Sora doesn't die, I don't wanna see her go ngl hahaha ':)

And I genuinely think she can melt almost anyone's heart. But have you thought about the Sanji repressions??? He's already canonically bitchy but now he'll have all the sass from Mihawk as well????? I think that'd be absolutely hilarious!

Plus that would mean that Mihawk was going to the Baratie to check in on his son, that's so cute omg :') And that could also be an excuse for why he didn't kill Sanji's "new friend" during his fight with Zoro.

Also why do I feel like Mihawk would try his damned best to make Sanji call him father instead of dad and Sanji would do it just to spite him.

Sanji: thanks for uh... you know... not killing my new crewmates

Mihawk: I guess it couldn't be helped

Sanji: Whatever, bye dad

Mihawk absolutely not having the heart to correct him at this point:... yeah.

Also Sora adopting Perona during ts makes me so happy. She would brush and braid her hair thinking if she'll ever have the chance to do it with her biological daughter. So that only makes her want to savour every moment with Perona while she can. And I think Perona would love Sora as well, she loves cute and pretty things so they'd make a great dynamic just absolutely driving Mihawk up the wall by redecorating... or as he calls it "ruining the aesthetic" or his castle.

Also... for the haha's: Sanji knowing way yoo much about swords would confused the hell out of Zoro. Not to mention that once Zoro finds out about his connection to Mihawk, I feel like he'd want to fight him even more than he already does. Bonus if Sanji is actually a really skilled swordman.

[jorisjurgen]

Fellow "put that guy in situations" liker I see, hello 🤝 I figure you're the best person to get serious thoughts on this stuff because it's been driving me insane and I need someone to be Completely Normal with

How do we feel about Joris s4 portal sickness scene. And how it wasn't played up for laughs as much as Ankama does with literally everyone else. Do you think he was actually worse off than they showed on screen, or did he actually have some sort of immunity/quick acclimation to it, especially since it never comes up again despite him being put through an absolute gauntlet of portal-taking almost immediately after that?

What about how the trend in portraying him on-screen goes from "cool and collected and untouchable" in the earlier seasons to "gets the shit kicked out of him and is regularly looked down on" in the comic (yeeted into a nearby mountain/hit by lightning, for example), OVA, and s4? The "guy who 1-hit KOs a big bad" to "guy who gets literally carried around like a sack of potatoes for 50% of his screentime" pipeline was insane to witness.

Actually I would love to hear your thoughts on that too. Why WAS he being carried around so much in s4? One of the fastest guys around in that group, yet they barely let him jump through any portals himself. Do they just think he's weakened and reluctant because of the portal sickness. Is it literally just because he's small and it's more convenient this way. The people need to know

Sorry if this is a lot out of nowhere, I think we all have the same disease (insane about crepinjurgen things and overanalyzing everything)

I hope you don't mind but I also shared this ask with @dullard because we're both insane.

Me: I do think it was played for laughs, but in a subtle way - the same way other characters throwing up due to Yugo has been. Idk. I think that the reason for him slowly becoming a Funny Character is a either a ludonarrative one (he's besties with the gang = he can be joked about. Going through a portal and throwing up is like a rite of passage for Yugo's friends) or one of Ankama wanting to develop him in this direction (a cool calm badass of a character? Will be popular, maybe. A cool calm badass of a character who has a collection of plushies, lives with his dad for 600 years, has an entire spin-off series about being neglected by his mentally ill father as a child, and is 3ft tall and sensitive about it? Makes people fucking insane for years to come)

(also I guess ankama shares my hc of Joris being a glass cannon "if he gets hit one time he will die but if he hits You one time, you die instead." type character.)

As for the portal sickness, it's either that he a. gets used to it quickly, either naturally or because of his weird physiology, b. is SO passionate about hiding it that the sheer threat of embarrassment is enough to gather the willpower to not be sick (very in character ngl.)

My thoughts on Joris being carried around are the exact same as Dullard's so I'll pass the mic to him.

Dullard:

[guardian5tiger3]

Alright. That's it.

What's their karma?

Tarot + intuitive messages.

*I'm definitely doing more of these later so if none resonated dw .

Groups

1 2

3 4 5

Group one

Their karma is slow but steady and it's funny cause they've been scared of getting karma for a while. True assholes. Some of you it's possible you could have been pointing something out about this person and everyone was like oh but this and that and just somehow missing the point one way or another. If that's the case then also they just like seemed to get away with it somehow in the past. I'm really getting someone being like, "bruh." Like it's so obvious in a way. This person feels like a f*cking child I'm ngl. Like they're dumb ASF. They don't get it. I don't know if that just reminded me of the song but I just thought of a song called get it where you fit in by too short. Haha. You guys more or less depending on the person have some level of spiritual authority. I literally I kind of hope this is a metaphor but I got like a person being inside of a burning building. Also like to be asleep ina. Building that's falling apart. Like I'm honestly getting some eery vibes so holy shit that's only if this person is straight evil ok if that's real. For a lot of you I'm not gonna lie I'm picking up on like someone who does bad things when no one's looking to as a lot of you can probably imagine and I initially was brought me to say this was I picked up on animal abuse. Someone here this person pretends like their a good person and you must be intuitive because this person is coming out as someone who literally for an example like is involved in one of those dog fighting things like in Beverly hills Chihuahua like something like that. I'm not gonna lie this could be indicating cult involvement and I'm talking about child sex trafficking and the real system connected to the government ,underground tunnels, Hollywood, etc. So some of the people receiving karma are apart of this here ok so good job guys on fucking with them . At the least I'm picking up that your souls are trapping them and getting them caught up and or the rest of you you guys have authority to kind of say okay fuck them up now and they get fucked up. Seriously. I'm almost getting that things will make more sense in the future yes for some of you where these are the worse people they're just gonna straight up die, for some of them it's severe illness. Overall I see them getting caught which somehow is karma enough for them all. I'm seeing a lawsuit for a few people. I'm getting a lot of panic from a good amount of these people in the future. So for this pile it's definitely different depending on who and honestly I immediately picked up on that but base minimum punishment it seems for all of you guys is these people get caught and reprimanded I believe is the word I'm looking for. For those of you where it's possible the worse things apply I'm seeing this ties into a bigger picture in the world so for those of you thank you for your service to humanity because you fighting against evil tells me you're a spiritual warrior here for these reasons and you're doing your jobs well. ☮️

Group two

Right off the bat you guys have some intensely good energy and you are meant to thrive socially. For the persons being asked about it seems like they're cold and lonely and if anyone is in their lives that person or maybe people are also that way too. The best they can get out of life is money and honestly they don't even spend it in cool ways so like the actual possessing of currency. So what I'm getting from this is these people are losers. Uhmm but for a lot of you alot of their money is being taken away and then it sort of seems like they're gonna try to fake a good heart or something like that.. they're gonna try to blend in somehow. Seems like they're trying to climb a ladder and they really think they're gonna get rich. Or just be even better off than before ☠️ so this is turning into a grilling session. Cause wtf. This is spirits prediction and they know what their talking about but oh my fuck you guys like whoever has to deal with this person or people whatever , like their poor guides I don't even feel like their guides I feel like these are spirits or something trying their best to make shit around them happen hoping for any results less than negative. They're really trying to do what they gon and have done did to these mfs to try to open their minds and show them that's there's like parts of life that require you not to be dumb and low vibing ASF . Overall the karma is mainly to be outcasts and alone and overshadowed for some.

Group three

Ok for a lot of you first of all of these people are who they say they are and doing as well as they say then why do they feel the need to defend that so hard. Honestly a lot of these people seem like the type to have a huge ego where as they don't want to admit to themselves that they're the problem so their lives just suck and they're like damn why is life like this everyone is screwing stuff up and life is being suck ass but I am clearly great so how could this happen to me. Ok. I'm not gonna hide anything from you guys somebody is going to get an injury of some sort to their private parts I am so sorry. Either they did magic and it's going back on them or someone did this to them and it's going to effect them because they deserve it or both ☠️they also a lot of them manifest shit for themselves because of how they talk or what they say right and or think too. Dear God you guys I'm seeing a lot lot of private part issues so you guys know why you're here you probably know that these people deserve this I guess, I'm assuming, maybe. Some of you don't. Now you do. Someone's dad might disown them or something about their dad right and this person already has issues with their dad so they're probably gonna snap at that point that's for someone in particular ok. I'm definitely seeing for a good few of you this person getting herpes or some type of disease like that's gross as hell. I'll leave it at that. Ok peace.

Group four

You guys are sweet, some of you know this some of you don't but the people I'm reading on most of them are apart of chaotic groups getting karma for all being bad people. This person played with you somehow ok I'm getting like whoever picked this pile yall are all so sweet I'm glad to be in your energies especially after ⬆️⬆️⬆️ haha. I digress. They're never going to find love really and that's sad. You all will so don't worry. The best these people will get is being hopeful for their futures and being incorrect. So delusion almost. You guys are powerful and somehow you having crossed paths with this person has led them down a certain path. They're going to have to deal with their inner issues and everything on the inside and you guys this is this person's greatest fears . Within themselves. A lot of them are not gonna be ok. Don't feel bad cause this is positive anyway technically ok either they're there and you suffer internally even if you try to ignore it . Or you deal with it. But these people like there is a good reason they were ignoring this madness before. Not anymore. They're not gonna let their inner demons have them running around being idiots anymore. And if they do some of them will genuinely end up in jail down that road but I don't see that for most of you. It's kind of like they thought something was funny then all of a sudden cause their demons are brought up it's like oh.... It's so not funny anymore .(to them ok) you also might be taking some form of energy from them that is like somehow coming off like a token or like ,, I'm not really sure but it's reminding me of the stars somehow. Like, in the sky at night stars. Super strange. You guys are cool.

[general-cyno]

I recently saw someone on YT talking about Zoro's past and while I agree that his flashback feels rushed within the story (which I think can be explained by how early it happens) what always surprises me is how unsettling it is for people. It's a simple but sharp reality in a fantasy world, quite similar to what happens in Usopp's past and perhaps not so common for the rest of the OP world, who have pasts more rooted in the rules of that universe. Kuina died after falling down the stairs. "In OP's world there are people who survive worse things..." they say. "It's absurd. She was trained and very strong." Yeah, sure, but Kuina died like that. Suddenly. Anticlimatically. She was as full of dreams and ambitions, fears and insecurities as everyone else. But she died in an accident. She died too soon. Without a reason. With no one to blame. Simple, cruel and real.

Y'know, I've seen this around a lot. especially in posts (on r/ddit and twt in my case) where people argue about zoro having a "mid" backstory or complain about wanting oda to give him a proper one. and ngl I feel like this pairs up with OP fandom's bad habit of powerscaling everything - even loss, trauma and grief.

Sure, if you compare kuina's death to all the other ones throughout OP it might not seem as "tragic", but this is one of those instances in which context and individual experiences matter most. kuina was just a kid who, despite her strength and training, was led to believe by her own father that her gender would become the reason she'd never achieve her dreams. and when she finally finds someone who believes in her, who sees her as an equal and a goal to strive towards to, who's willing fight against and alongside her - she dies. as you mention: she dies without reason, with no one to blame. that is plenty tragic to me, regardless of all other sad or abhorrent things that happen in the story's universe.

This is just me speculating but I've also wondered if the fact that zoro's relatively well-adjusted despite the hardships and losses he's lived through is part of what makes people downplay both kuina's death and the role it plays in zoro's backstory/motivations. because the thing is - zoro may not carry or express his losses and grief as outwardly as other characters do, but look at how he reacts when the people he loves are in danger and the kind of sacrifices he's willing to make so that they'll be safe. how he's usually always keeping an eye on and watching out for all of them some way or the other. look at how he cries (which iirc he's done on page only three times) when he loses the duel against mihawk.

Zoro, similarly to other straw hats, had his parents die due to pirates or bc of an illness, grew up as an orphan, and the only friend he had died in a manner he couldn't do anything to foresee or prevent as well; the latter of which has impacted his life all the way to adulthood. kuina's memory is one that's at the forefront of what he does, just like his promise to luffy. draw the parallel between this, how fiercely protective he is and how much he hates the idea of dying in circumstances out of his control (I'd argue it even terrifies him a little, judging by his reaction to the reaper in wano) and it's easy to see how much his experiences, and especially kuina's death, have shaped him as a character. just bc he's not crying, having breakdowns or generally brooding about it every time he appears on screen doesn't make his life story less important, sad or tragic than anyone else's. plus, the stability he provides to luffy and the crew is crucial, so he needs less narrative reasons to leave them, not more. zoro not having, for example, a centric rescue arc doesn't make him less of a straw hat member either.

[omegothic]

opinion on ffxv after 75 hours of playing (and one hour of running in circles to level gladio's skill up) (still haven't played any of the dlcs but i'm gonna take a break or something for a few days because i severely neglected my university stuff and spent most of the last week obsessively playing this game)

i love this game. am i tired? hell yeah. would i want all these hours back? hell no.

the game is a mystery to me.

the sidequests are genshin impact open world quests level (which means that if i hear anyone talking, i'm pressing the skip button because i don't give a fuck). you listen to someone yapping about unimportant stuff and they make you collect the same shit over and over again. peak game design.

the main quests are good but the ending made me age 10 years in a week. there's NO NEED for these tragedies. boy you literally have the power of gods on your side and they tell you the only way to get rid of the big bad villain is to kill yourself? sounds like bullshit to me. also why even bother if there's only a few thousands people left in the world. you already lost, all this stuff had to be done 10 years ago to have any meaning. and there's no way the world didn't just implode or something when the sun stopped rising. the true ending is noctis getting spat out of the crystal and realising everyone is long gone because there's no sunlight.

the mentally ill hobo could have been more cooperative too geez. i'll be honest i like him much more than the six. and everyone's like "oh gods are helping you" no they hate me and want me to die for no reason. i'd rather join forces with ardyn and try to take them down. even if he did a lot of questionable stuff (cough- killed my bride -cough-cough- and her brother -cough- also kidnapped my friend and tortured him-)

the hunts are kinda fun when it's a big monster but when it's a bunch of goblins i'm like,,, why did you call me here? ngl i thought all hunts would be like the first one, it was truly cool. there was some kind of plot, some interactions with my friends, some stealth, the monster seemed really tough (meanwhile me, fighting the lvl 99 adamantoise 65 hours later: the ring of lucii go brrr-)

the dungeons are ass. i thought nothing could be as disorienting as daggerfall's randomly generated dungeons but they really managed to do a miracle with ffxv. although the dungeons in ffxv are not scary at all, that's the difference.

the open world is okay. there're some interesting places (when you first see the big mysterious creature in the lake you're like do i have to fight it?? can i get closer to it?? what is this??) and the nature is beautiful. altissia looks majestic but sadly there's not much to do. i appreciate the hard work tho.

using regalia was a delight. when you want to take a break and just look at the landscape you can just sit still with a controller in your hands and enjoy the ride. really therapeutic. don't drive at night when you're low level though... listen to ignis. ignis is always right.

the camp life is by far the best out of all games i've had an experience with. there's so many little details everywhere that you cannot help but adore your companions. it's the way every time you make camp you get a bunch of photos prompto took since the last break. it's the way your companions talk to you almost all the time and you truly feel like you are on a road trip with your friends. it's the way gladio calls you out on your bullshit and afterwards you want to bite his head off each time you talk to him. it's the way ignis cooks for the entire party and makes you help him sometimes. i just love the way friendship is portrayed here.

what was not as good is luna and noct's relationship. there was not enough of luna. yes she loves noct but why? yes noct loves luna but why? luna literally appeared in the plot for two minutes and then tragically died. i think it's really bad. also imagine not seeing your bride for 12 years, when you finally meet her again she immediately dies, then you spend 10 years trapped in a crystal, fucking die and then get to marry your bride. honey it's been 22 years since i last talked to you in person. i'm NOT marrying a random woman in the afterlife (no hate for luna, just this love story didn't seem convincing enough). hopefully i'm gonna see what they wrote in the dawn of the future soon (please pray so that my amazon package doesn't get lost 🙏)

the music is incredible. the woman who wrote the soundtrack is my goddess and i am a devout worshipper 🙏🙏🙏

so, why is the game a mystery to me? because no other game could make me endure 75 hours of boring side quests. i managed to play hogwarts legacy for 44 hours and i despised that game when i finished it. i despised it long before i finished it. but not ffxv. they could make me do all this boring stuff again and i would do it (not for free tho because i've got better things to do with my time 🤣)

i enjoyed ffxv a lot. it also made me depressed for a week because ending a game like that should be a crime. i think i'm gonna do a few last quests after that but there's not much left (and i'm not looking for more because if i think i am done then i am done). not sure how long episodes gladiolus, prompto and ignis are gonna take, but they're also in my plans (no ardyn tho, gotta go watch some playthrough). there's also anime and a film so plenty of content for me. and i am waiting for the arrival of my book 🫡

(noticed that there's nothing about the combat. well it's because i don't care. i don't like combat. i don't like it in any game. i prefer to flee)

[dallasurr]

i feel so hurt and upset about Simon he needed to heal too

i can't sleep at night sometimes

I know this is so random but i don't care i feel so hurt by the idea of everyone healing but him dead and bound to be forgetten. .. i want him feel good i want to get him out of there.

I've said this before but as much as I'd like to see the series to its planned end, I'm not that unhappy about not getting season 5. It would be really hard for me to see Amelia get a redemption or her exit when she went on the train as a fully mature adult in her 30s, and did wayyyy worse things than Simon did. Although she was mentally unstable at the time she got on the train, it doesn't seem like she had a history of mental illness before Alrick died.

What Simon did to Grace and Hazel was fucked up, I can wrap my head around his justification for killing Tuba and I'm not the person to debate about this bc I straight up didn't like Tuba. She went out of her way to kidnap and scare Grace and Simon, who would have probably found the exit to the car and went on their way the next day without her interference, and I'm of the opinion that she put both herself and Hazel in danger with her little prank. I know we wouldn't have a story without it, and it doesn't justify her death, but literally from their first interaction she showed Simon she can be hostile and dangerous. And while she warmed up to Grace (according to Grace lol I didn't see much friendly interaction between them at all, just Grace enjoying/admiring the way she interacted with Hazel), Simon always got attitude from her, I can't blame him for not warming up to her.

Simon might have been 18 at the time of his season but let's be honest, both he and Grace were very immature and justifiably so. They only had each other and their delusions for years and years before they became guardians themselves. The train has proven itself to be dangerous, and proved how high the stakes are when he died, but people act like he was a fucking monster for doing what he thought he needed to protect himself, grace and hazel from a perceived threat. He could have been a little more tactful with explaining what happened, or lied about it, but like tbh as a neurodivergent person myself who sees Simon as someone who is on the autism spectrum, I REALLY struggle with lying and deceiving people so I can understand why he just blurted out the truth without any thought.

I do think one of the most irredeemable things he did was dehumanize Grace and trap her in her memories, whether or not he knew it could kill her (I assume he didn't bc the Cat as usual didn't explain shit to him) the way he pushed her over and walks away makes me nauseous.

But I certainly don't think he deserved to die for that, and I think the series would have been a lot better if instead of kicking her off the train again (which at this point in the scene felt kind of slapstick i'm ngl), Simon finally broke out of his paranoid and delusional thought patterns and they were able to drag everyone back into the mall car for a heart to heart.

In my head in episodes 9 and 10 he's a lot like Catra in The Portal episodes, but instead of getting 2 more seasons after his fall from grace (lol) to recover and heal and fix his issues, he just got killed instead.

And it sucks because dude was clearly mentally ill and traumatized, and as someone who has mental illness and trauma that can make me act out sometimes too, who also struggles to read the room and understand what people want from me if they don't tell me directly, who ALSO had parents that didn't have my best interests as even a consideration to whatever they could gain from me, it kind of reinforces my anxiety which tells me that I deserve to suffer because of x y z stupid thing I did or said 5, 10, even 20 years ago.

(and before anyone says simon had all the chances to change and grow that grace did, please rewatch the season, he absolutely did not and all of the events that led to grace growing as a person happened when simon wasn't around, yes he was immature in a lot of moments but dude literally did not have a normal adolescence and to expect him to act like a fucking adult all the time after that is ridiculous)

[nattikay]

ok so um. There’s certainly plenty to be said about Way of Water, plenty of lil comments I want to make...but before I can post about any of that (separately), I just need to ramble about Neteyam a little bit. Bear with me. ;_;  (yes, this will be spoilery)

so the idea that Neteyam was going to die had already been pretty prominent in the fandom for several months. At first it seemed to me to be based on nothing but wild speculation for potential sad plot points. But the more and more promotional material came out, the more and more plausible the theory became, much to my dismay. By the time we reached release day, I had already (if reluctantly) resigned myself to thinking that yes, it was probably going to happen. 

And sure enough, it did.

Even going in knowing full well it was extremely likely to happen, even going in having 100% accepted that it was bound to happen and fully expecting it....gosh it still hurt to watch.

I will admit, I did not cry nearly as much as I expected to during this movie. I teared up a bit multiple times, definitely felt the physical heartache plenty, but nothing spilled over. I thought this was kinda weird, given that previously I’d shed tears even over certain shots from the trailer.

When Neteyam died and I absolutely felt my heart breaking in two yet tears still didn’t fall despite the emotional pain I was absolutely in, I realized why: I was just really dehydrated ^^;

see, worried about having to use the bathroom during the long runtime, I’d been very careful to drink as little as possible throughout the day. Well....it technically worked I guess. I certainly didn’t need to go to the bathroom. but it looks like it dried up most of my tears too (maybe not a wholly bad thing given that this was in public, I suppose).

....and yet despite that, DESPITE my dehydration........that ending???? that ending?????? let’s just say I STILL managed to leave the theater with a tearstained face

“bittersweet” is certainly A Word

just

m a n 😭

and I mean. from a writing perspective, I get it. I really do. The “before your birth, after your death” etc theme ran throughout the movie. Using an unrelated character to do it wouldn’t have as strong an emotional impact as using one of the core family. I get it. As a narrative choice, it makes sense.

but from an in-universe/character-pov perspective....gosh golly that hurt. that hurrrrrrrttttt and I don’t know if I’m ok. ngl i legit feel vaguely ill ;_;

My current job is fairly mindless work, so while I’m working my brain can wander. Naturally today my mind was on the fact that I’d been seeing the movie later so of course I thought a lot about it. Like I said earlier, I was already aware of the Neteyam-dies theory (well, no longer a theory I guess) and at that point had accepted it as inevitable, if depressing. I’d been trying to come to terms with it for a while already.

Those who have followed me long enough might know that there’s another movie I like called Wolf Children. It’s a beautiful movie, honestly, one that I appreciate very much, but have only watched a small handful of times because it makes me sob every single time. It’s about a woman who meets a...well, basically a werewolf (except that the transformations are voluntary), they fall in love and have two kids, but right after the birth of the second one the father dies in an accident, leaving the normal-human mother, to raise these two wolf kids on her own. And that’s most of the movie, following the family as the kids grow up until at the end of the movie all three characters go their separate ways. The ending always felt a little bittersweet to me because, even though both children are alive and well living their own lives, the mother is alone again, with only her memories. We saw the whole childhood, that special time as a family unit, and now that period of their lives is over.

That is, essentially, what I was expecting to be done with Neteyam. Watch his whole life, from birth to, well, in his case death. We see the whole thing and then it’s over, no more future with the rest of his family. Which hurts. And yes, that’s...more or less what happened.

While the two scenarios are not perfectly comparable, mentally framing Neteyam’s (then-impending, now-confirmed) death in terms of Wolf Children did actually help me cope with the then-theory. 

I have to remind myself that even though his story is over, and that it ended tragically, that what we saw...wasn’t everything. It was snippets. We saw only very few snippets. For long stretches in between those snippets. For roughly 15 years the Sully family lived more or less in peace. Neteyam had a happy childhood. He lived all that, even though we only saw it so very briefly. I have to remind myself of this, repeatedly.

because even knowing that, watching the tragedy...it’s...it’s hard...

i just...

i just...

and then that. that ending I--

I just--

my heart is broken, it is aching, i cannot ;_;

[beanghostprincess]

I am so delighted to see we can send platonic ship and that you are insane about it!! (same here i love it so so much, tahat all my life) so what about Nami&Robin or/and Nami&Zoro

there are so many people asking me my opinions i can't believe y'all actually care about what i have to say ilysm <33

nami/robin: i love them and i wish they had more scenes together in canon :(( i love that they share a room and their beds are literally next to each other. i'm sure that they cuddle when they sleep. no doubt about it. robin reads out loud while nami does her nightly routine with makeup and stuff and then they talk for a bit before falling asleep. i love that they're the only girls in the crew but their role isn't just that. they both keep the guys in place but robin has that silly, satiric dark side that scares nami sometimes, and nami has that impulsive, thief side that robin loves too. and kjsdcjksdnjkasd they make me ill. they have girl nights. they go shopping. they talk shit about people together. they eat sanji's food together. nami talks about how much she misses her girlfriend (vivi, i miss you too. come back) and robin comforts her but instantly nami complains about her "not getting it" because she has her husband on the damn ship!!!!! then nami goes and hugs robin back again. i think they're the smartest and brightest girls ever and they deserve all the love. neither of them has ever had real friends and now that they have the chance to live freely, they finally can hang out together. robin is older and tbh i think she sees nami as this cute, young, brilliant girl with so so much potential. and nami sees robin as, like, this older, mature woman that's also her bestie and that's awesome!!! a lot of people ship them romantically but i personally see them as besties or sisters ngl. i think robin is still getting used to having friends like a normal person and nami teaching her how to enjoy life is so,,, so beautiful,,, they also have their own shenanigans and i need them to have wayyy more scenes together c'mon!!!

nami/zoro: i am so not shutting up about them i apologize- i love them. i am obsessed with them. we need to talk more and more about them. "they're overrated" they should be. they deserve it. i fucking love everything about these two. so, so much... the thing that makes me like them it's probably the fact that they're part of the romance dawn trio, and i'm very nostalgic about those three. they're all important to luffy, of course, all of his nakama are. but... there's just something about zoro and nami being the first ones that makes me insane. they're the ones that had to deal with luffy together when they first met, and ever since, they've just been sooo chaotic. i'm happy opla gave them scenes together (uhhh not so much the fact that people see them romantically. it's obvious they wanted to make them romantic. please don't, netflix, i'm watching you) because they mean so much to me! they have this lesbian/gay solidarity and hostility (yes, at the same time) that i LOVE. i'm obsessed with zoro being all edgy-wannabe (he's just quiet lmfao his dramatic gay ass wanting to be a dark swordsman is so funny) and nami like "??? shut up you're just dumb". the fact that they argue and zoro complains about her manipulative behavior but still always helps her and saves her every time,,, that's so,,, i love them. i know we all say zoro is luffy's guard dog, but that's not true. zoro is luffy's cat and nami's guard dog. he stays behind nami protectively with a dark stare and nobody dares to approach her bc they know they'll die if they try to hurt his navigator. he'd never admit it out loud, tho, but he cares for her an insane amount. and she loves him too. thinking about them cuddling when it's too cold and zoro's just the perfect pillow!! zoro braiding nami's hair!!! nami helping him clean his swords!! they look after the other all the time,, and they are the ones that know luffy the best, of course they're going to be the first ones to talk things out together if something's wrong with him. also, my zolu shipper heart needs to say that nami would be the first one to find out about them. in every universe. i love them.

[robotnuts]

im so glad u watched 19 bc i truly have soooo many thoughts on like theres so much potential & really good scenes there but so many misses. the tex part is easily the best part of it though i still cant believe it actually happened. i kinda wish sarge's death was off screen like you see them watch him die but give him no final words sort of deal... i feel like it wouldve been a better plot device rather than the longer scene if sarge saying what he's feeling as he dies. sorry i keep thinking about that its my main thing i wouldve changed. well that and putting wash back in prison instead of a mental facility because i think a prison break with untreated mental illness couldve done more than ....... whatever the hell the wash scenes were. restoration is easily the best set up for fanwork ive seen in a while tho NGL the meta tucker concept is soooo fun i wish it got explored more. sorry im rambling in ur askbox now LOL

YESSS sorry for the late response. im glad rvb restoration dropped hwen it did so ic ould watch it irl with my girlfriend but it did happen to be during the most busy month of my year so obviously my blogging has been completely slacking. i really love this final line that apparently sarge was going to say. i think its more sweet and poetic than him spelling out how hes feeling about simmons and grif in particular

no yeah my biggest issue is just like. this felt like a vehicle for like, meta scenes saying goodbye to the reds and the blues, but the actual like "plot" of the season didnt really have any time to develop and had to just be quick weird scenes that were just kind of tonally dissonant and not really polished or treated with the same kind of care and deftness he was able to handle mixing the humor and plot elements of the recollections trilogy. both due to the runtime, him being out of the game for so long, and needing to do a full plot in one season instead of three. it really felt bare bones. which is fine it's just like, obviously you can see that its not the best, and i feel like if it was going to just be a vehicle for sappy goodbye to rvb as a property scenes i wish it had just gone all in and given us more interactions between the different characters. idk. im not really sure how id fix it aside from just having my own completely differnet version of their future in my head but ive already kind of written that post out for my post chorus vision lmao. dumpster baby forever...

META TUCKER IS REALLY FUN AND I COULDNT BE TOO MAD AT IT because it was literally a type of concept that epsilontucker riffed on after the open ended s13 (oh my god rip epsilontucker i think im gonna be sick). but his scenes again felt pretty jarring nad just put in there to keep the season moving and wahh why did they torture him for 10 fucking years ahhh scary AHHH. yeah, now that you said it it really does feel like. the bare bones of an incredible 250k word fanfic written by someone who has a different more serious tone than the original series like, put my guns in the ground style, moreso than an rvb season LMFAO but that's fine if anyones still in the fandom and cares to do that i'd love to see it. idk. im rambling. it was a good fun stream and i liked individual scenes but it was definitely all over the place for me

[cowboy-robooty]

Robooty Reviews: Royal Servant (3/10)

Read this way back in middle school... shared mangago lists with one of my friends and recognized this one and decided to reread. Lord. Who Likes This. The story is about Kyon and his master Lucaon and theres like some plot bullshit since in this world theres these guys who are royals and got these powers that they never fuckin use and live longer too and are strong n all that. and the only way to kill one tho is to give them this special poison that is completely undetectable and the only way to cure it is if the person who administered it fixes that shit. But yeah Lucaon hates servants and Kyon is a servant and Lucaon is a classic stoic scum gong and falls in love with Kyon but only starts being nice to him once Kyon literally spends 20 chapters on the brink of death lol bro got a fever and slit his wrists and fell into an ice pond and then got a fever again and pneumonia and Lucaon went "..... ok ill be nice to you now"

the art is good for this story dont get me wrong but its really really really stiff expression wise. maybe i'm just a little stupid and i need to see a huge cartoon tear drop to tell a character is sad but for realsies I do think that the art is pretty, but the expressions when bitches are fucking dying and shit could be a little more extreme. its okay to sacrifice their pretty boy looks for one pannel trust me..

The romance itself is just like whatevs. I will admit I am a fan of how kyon will just take anything like bro does not give a fuck okay cuz hes madly in love with Lucaon and doesnt care what he does to him. Im pretty sure in one chapter Kyon is just walking in the halls and Lucaon lunges at him and bites him until he bleeds and kyon passes the fuck out from the attack and its just like ok lol. LUCAON DOESNT GIVE A FUCK HES SO MEAN TO KYON UNTIL HES SUDDENLY NOT BECAUSE HE HAD HIS SCUM GONG REALIZATION WHEN KYON TRIES TO LEAVE HIM 15 MILLION TIMES AND ALMOST DIES IN EVERY INSTANCE OF TRYING TO LEAVE. the upside to kyon is that hes a simp and a pussy and he is a bit of a little bitch but he isnt a whiny bitch about it. like lucaon is his tormentor and he finds out that THERES A POSSIBILITY that he could be the cause of Lucaon's demise and immediately is like okay ill kill myself i need to get out of here and thats why he almost dies 10 million times trying to leave bc he only tries to leave bc lucaon's blonde ass brother is like dude. you might cause Lucaon to die since you're a secret spy with your memories wiped. AND ITS KINDA FUNNY BECAUSE HE STRAIGHT UP SEES KYON ALMOST DEAD IN BED AND GOES "GOD I WISH THIS BITCH WOULD JUST DIE ALREADY" LOL!!

When i was younger i was a fan of the pink haired guy (lucaons other brother) and his servant who is his boyfriend and treated as an equal and yeah younger me was right tbh kind wish the story focused on them instead. but ngl i hate the entire family drama thing bc like its the plot and all that but im like WHO GIVE A FUCK? this manhwa is just mid. mid as fuck. I'll admit when i was younger i re read the 20 chapters where kyon is on the brink of death like 50000 times over and over again because i loveeee suicide and i lovee when kyon tries to kill himself a million jillion times and Lucaon is like FUCKING STOP. theres like idk tiny hints of goodness. I can enjoy a good scum gong alright and I do like when Lucaon is like "brah... ive seen you cry more times than smile..... thats kinda fucked" MMMMMMM YES. FEEL BAD. FEEL REMORSE. but its just not worf it okay the manhwa sucks and its 100 chapters or some shit like that bruh moment. I also do like how at the end Kyon acknowledges that hes going to die before Lucaon and Lucaon needs to learn how to love other people than him because he doesn't want Lucaon to be stuck on him forever and ever. I think it was a nice bittersweet thing. In short. just not my thing. mid. equivalent to eating spoonfuls of peanut butter for dinner. Like you can... wont be very satisfying tho