#i think it make sense as a progression from 10 tbh

[cowlovely]

i have to say. now that i’m actually rewatching 11’s run from the start. i don’t remember him being this dark at the beginning?? it’s interesting!

[taegimood]

kitty or shark hybrid tyun thoughts pleasepleasepleaseplease

i already had kitty tyun in the works so you read my mind but omg SHARK TYUN ???!!!! i know we literally just talked abt this on discord but i never thought abt how it would actually work… i’ve never thought about marine hybrids before 🤔 would he need water ??? reverse sandy cheeks LMFAO but no the predatory aspect mmmmm we should talk abt this later

edit this is longer and kind of turned into more of actual writing (??) than the soobin one ugh sorry i’m so inconsistent i’m ekwkndndkfk almost don’t even wanna post it BUT ANYWAY ,,,,,

next on my agenda: cat hybrid!taehyun !!

cat hybrid!taehyun with perky dark brown ears that nearly blend in with his hair, and a sleek tail to match. he’d be reserved when you first bring him home, but not shy or nervous like soobin; taehyun would be cool, collected, on his guard but in a way that lets you know he still sees himself as one in control.

at first it would seem like he really couldn’t care less about your presence in the apartment; quickly getting comfortable enough to make it his own, but apparently you weren’t included in that sentiment, judging from the way he’d just side-eye you before carrying on with whatever he was doing as his only form of acknowledgement every time you attempt an interaction ��

it makes you nervous; was this the right decision? will we ever form a bond? little do you know… muehuehue

you knew that cat hybrids were notoriously hit or miss in terms of how affectionate or independent they’d turn out to be, but i mean come on — taehyun acts as though he doesn’t even need you at all !!

imagine the first time you try to pet his ears, him flattening them and immediately swatting your hand away to shrink back with a scowl; the way your stomach would drop as you quickly start to apologize 😭 but he’s already stalking away into the next room like a grumpy grouch >:(

it’s not that taehyun hates you or anything, it’s just that he doesn’t like his personal space invaded — or at least, that’s what he thinks at first, but more on that later 👀

him hearing you crying in your room one night cuz you’re just so frustrated and sad :(( wanting to build a happy comfortable life for him but he’s not even letting you try and you don’t know what you’re doing wrong 🥺 that’s the first time he’d feel a little twinge in his chest, an unfamiliar emotion that he can’t quite place as he finds himself wanting to… comfort you? hmm.. he decides that he doesn’t like this strange new feeling and continues on to his room instead.

but the next day you’d be shocked when you’re on the couch and he actually comes and…. sits.. in the same.. room.. as you ???? someone call oprah ✋🏼

he’d silently situate himself in the armchair away from the couch, opening up his book an educated mf and starting to read without a single word as you sit there gaping at him like 👁️👄👁️ not having any clue that this is his way of offering a small bridge for the gap you’re even a little suspicious tbh LOL but you get so excited regardless and even though you try to hide it, his sharp senses are quick to notice the change in your demeanor.

also you keep glancing over at him like every 10 seconds so that’s kind of a giveaway in itself

after that you’d begin to notice little things that he’d start to do that make you realize you need to let him be the one to decide when to come to you, when you’re allowed to touch him, etc — and honestly you’re just grateful to be making progress.

you’d be on the phone with a friend one day when they start asking about your new hybrid, taehyun’s ears perking up from the kitchen; (you glance over to see his head poking out and his boba eyes sparkling with interest before he catches you looking and instantly scowls, feigning indifference as he disappears again 😭😭 your heart clenching at the cuteness..)

him listening intently as you talk about him, surprised as you even defend him when your friend makes a comment about the cat hybrid stereotypes — “he’s not ‘hellish’ in the slightest. he’s been very good. he just likes his space, that’s all.”

but his favorite part of all would be when they ask you about his breed, what he looks like, etc; his chest swelling with pride as he hears you talk about how handsome he is, how strong and lithe he seems to be, and he finds a purr escaping from his throat at the praise as you boast about him.

after that, even more progress seems to be made; like him randomly coming up to you one day with an extra bit of his food in hand as he places it in front of you and says, “i brought this for you.” and walking away again before you can respond 💀

with how put-together he always seems, you’re finally starting to see how cat-like he truly is the more he opens up to you ❤️‍🩹

he starts speaking to you more often too, his voice a pleasant surprise to you; smooth and even-toned, inducing a bit of a blush from you whenever there’s a slight rasp or purr caught at the end of a phrase.

he perplexes you at first with how blunt or monotoned he can be, but you learn to read him better as time goes on, learn to understand his subtle undertones, and each flick of his ears or swish of his tail.

you’ve also learned that he can be won over with certain treats and presents… which ends up leading to the mess you’ve found yourself in now.

when you decided to buy a bunch of catnip, thinking it would be nice to bake him some desserts with it every now and then, you didn’t think you’d have to go out of your way to hide the stuff. since you brought him home taehyun has never acted out much aside from the occasional swipe of something off the edge of the counter when he’s bored; but he never scratches up your furniture or makes a mess of the apartment, so imagine your shock when you come home from a late shift one night to find your kitchen absolutely ransacked.

drawers and cabinets thrown open and their contents scattered everywhere, kitchen towels shredded to bits, and for a minute you’re terrified that someone broke in or something.. until you realize what you’re looking at.

catnip is strewn EVERYWHERE.

the tub of it fallen open on the floor has you gaping as your eyes follow the trail of it, from the cabinet taehyun must have smelled it from, to where it then spilled across the counter, before being knocked to the floor and.. rolled in??

with a start you suddenly realize that it’s too quiet.

taehyun is never one to come and greet you at the door, but this time, something feels.. different.

which is why you nearly jump out of your skin when you turn to go and look for him, ready to call out his name, only to find him standing in the entrance of the kitchen already watching you.

he’s so quiet that you didn’t even hear him approach and you’re convinced that in another life he would’ve made a great vampire or something.. taehyun salvatore has a nice ring to it iykyk

“holy shit, kitty, you scared me! why are you lurking like that? what the hell happened in.. here...”

your voice trailing off as you actually take in the sight of him and….

taehyun’s chest rising and falling at a quicker rate than usual, normally neat hair all tousled out of place, tail swishing sharply back and forth behind him, ears twitching — you meet his eyes and swallow hard. he’s never looked at you like this before.

his pupils are blown wide and taking in every inch of you, roaming over your body before locking onto your gaze, as if he’s looking straight into you, hyper-focused; silent and still and.…

predatory.

there’s a crackling tension in the air as something flickers in his eyes.

before you can process the speed that he moves forward with you’re being pushed against the kitchen counter with his body flush against yours, radiating heat as he rolls his hips, rubbing his face into your neck as a deep, growl-like purr reverberates in your ear.

you gasp, thighs pressing together instinctively, his tongue licking a rough stripe up to your jaw as he growls, “whose scent is this?”, and you barely even have time to remember the new coworker that he must be smelling let alone the time to answer him before he’s mouthing at your neck, muttering, “doesn’t matter.. i’ll just have to scent you myself.”

his tail curls around your waist and you inhale at the slight prickle of his sharp canines as he smirks against your throat;

“have to let him know that you’re mine.”

you don’t know how you got here, bent over the kitchen table as your previously aloof hybrid pounds you from behind, licking and biting at your shoulder and neck as he purrs roughly in your ear, your pussy clenching hard around his thick cock as he tugs your hair to bring your head up into a scorching kiss; whatever insane energy high that catnip gave him was all being released onto you right now, and you really can’t complain.. nor can you even remember whatever guilt you may have felt since at this point he’s fucked it right out of you.

he’d be telling you how your scent belongs to him, how no one else can have you like this; this sudden possessiveness coming out of seemingly no where, baffling you with the whiplash of taehyun’s deeper feelings coming out.

(feelings that he honestly didn’t even realize he had himself until that catnip got him good)

he’d so be the type to act completely nonchalant about it all the next day, to the point where you’d just about convince yourself that you went crazy and dreamed it all up until he’d do something to show you that no, you definitely did not.

standing at the sink washing dishes after lunch, lost in your swirling thoughts, when he’d come up behind you to place his own dish in the sink — chest ghosting against your back as he leans in just close enough for you to feel his smirk against one of the many love bites littered across your neck. quickly turning to face him but he’s already walking away, casually and without another glance in your direction;

later you’d be tidying up the apartment when he’d walk by you and his tail would curl sneakily around your waist, trailing over your ass as he passes by..

but it’s the last straw for you when you’re sitting on a conference call and taehyun slinks into the room, eyeing your computer, and you can already see the wheels turning in his head at the sound of your male coworkers going over their part of an example presentation.

your eyes widen marginally as his narrow — lip curling as he quickly deduces that one of them must be yesterday’s icky scent culprit — and you give him a stern warning look that he only ignores with a sly smile as he approaches where you’re sitting, your breath catching in your throat as he suddenly gets on his knees between your legs, just out of sight of the camera.

you’re about to mute your mic and ask him what the hell he’s doing when you hear your name being called from the screen, quickly averting your attention to answer your coworker’s question, when you feel the tip of taehyun’s claw begin to trace up your inner thigh.. ohhh boy you’re done for.

you’d be panicking as he’d tease his way under your skirt, flipping it up to reveal your panties that he’d so easily push aside, your voice coming out in a squeak when you try to continue talking as he nuzzles his face into your cunt.

trying to deter him by pushing his head away, but that only spurs him on more at the feeling of your fingers brushing past his mischievously twitching ears; your coworkers asking you if everything’s alright as the sudden warmth of taehyun’s tongue against your pussy sends a rush of electricity through you in the form of a choked-out moan that you can only disguise as a cough.

having to sit through the rest of your meeting as your naughty hybrid meticulously eats you out, his shameless rumbling purrs sending vibrations through your core while he laves at your juices, smug eyes glittering up at you the entire time as you try your absolute hardest not to squirm and moan.

it’s so filthy, so obscene, and he’s got you so so close to the point where you have no choice but to feign sickness and quickly hang up the call with reddened cheeks and labored breaths.

but taehyun pulls away immediately and you give a sharp whine before you can stop yourself.

you can see the satisfaction in his eyes as he poorly feigns indifference poorly on purpose ofc and states, “i’m bored,” with a move to stand up — but you’ve had enough of his teasing.

“nuh uh,” you breathe, your hand in his hair pulling him back in with a surprised little trill as your need to cum overpowers your conscience.

“finish what you started.”

and he’s more than happy to oblige as that same flicker from last night returns to his eyes, yanking you towards his waiting mouth as he ravishes your pussy with even more vigor than before.

“taehyun, y-you’ve been such a… bad.. k-kitty…”

and he eats it right up, the both of you knowing who really seems to be in control here despite your scolding words as you lose yourself on his tongue.

coming apart easily not once but twice before he finally sits back on his heels, licking the wetness from his lips and observing your spent form in satisfaction;

from then on it’s decided that taehyun does like his new owner after all, quick to jealousy but even quicker to remind you that you’re his; who’s the real owner here, to be honest? 🤔

and he even comes to realize that - you know what? - curling up with you for cuddles and head scratches really isn’t so bad after all. he could definitely get used to this ❤️‍🩹

my dom!taehyun agenda knows no bounds i couldn’t stop myself womp

also this feels to me like it had a much different vibe from the soobin one as in like a lot less detailed even tho it’s longer…? idk but later i wanna post more than just one thing for each member anyway so

[salisburyliam]

My WORST to BEST ranking for Heaven's Secret 2 LIs

Oh boy I finally did it!!!! never want to read this book ever again, lmao

NOTE 1: We all know that HS2 has its flaws —S1 feels like a fever dream— but personally one that really irks me is not being able to choose whether or NOT you want to marry your LI. I mention this because many LIs routes are (negatively) affected by this sudden marriage imo

NOTE 2: Winchesto you deserve so much better than Rebecca.

7. Dino - He's never been a character I've been particularly fond of, but at least in HS1 he had some narrative importance (the dynamic with Lucifer was a lot of fun too). His relevance in HS2 is, well, zero & I personally don't feel the chemistry between Vicky and him at all. That being said. Of all the LIs, the only one with whom the wedding makes absolute sense is with Dino - he's 100% husband material.

Being good should not be equivalent to being boring… but in Dino's case, it is. 4/10

6. War - His dynamic with Vicky is… okay-ish? I guess??? They are a hot couple (I personally love his design & his laugh is sexy af) but the connection is lacking & there is no emotional intimacy whatsoever. They keep saying they're in love but are theeey? You don't know each other. Also, if you decide not to k*ll him and don't romance him later in s2 he's literally just a background character. 

I don't think this man is ready to be a husband - he should get therapy first. 5/10

5. Hunger - If it were a matter of rating characters, Hunger would be in the top three. His first appearance is one of my favorite scenes in the book along with the board game moment, lmao. But if it comes to rating him as a LI… The relationship feels rushed, to say the least. Marrying a character who appears halfway through the second season makes no sense at all - their wedding scene is just weird.

You guys met like five episodes ago. How about we start by dating first? 6/10

his smile is unsettling lol 4. Malbonte - Replaying this book so many times has made me really appreciate Malbonte. A soldier who will do whatever it takes to win. I love how everyone assumes that he always, always, has a plan (he usually does). But as a LI? His main emotion is rage and pure indifference. As a husband for life, I don't understand how that could work: I can imagine Vicky asking him how his day was and Malbonte's only response being '….' 😐🙄 Go boy give us nothing!

Seriously though. I really love him as a character, but he needs to join War in that therapy thing. 7/10

3. Astaroth - The first interactions are awful & personally his sprite doesn't help either (he's literally a male M*ley Cyrus) but he has so much chemistry with Vicky, it surprised me. Their relationship feels organic as you progress, but just like the rest of the characters that appear in the second book, it all feels rushed. The wedding option should ONLY have been available for characters that appeared in the previous book - with new ones it just feels unearned.

Still, it had potential. 8/10

2. Mimi - The only female LI (how's that legal) and one of my favorites. tbh I think she's TOO good for Vicky??? lmao. A character who is impossible not to adore (even judgy Rebecca gives her approval), in-laws anyone would love to have, and a route that is equal parts endearing and passionate. I confess I kinda miss her sprite from the first book tho

The only reason she's not at the top of the list is the motherf*cker below. 9/10 

1. Lucifer - Simply put, they feel like soulmates - especially if you choose Angel's path (he was my LI in the first book so that also plays into it). I haaate his behavior in S1, but even with that rocky start the dynamic between Vicky and Lucifer is, and will always be, one of my favorites. They have everything: chemistry, banter, passion, vulnerability moments... I love the contrast of the Lucifer from HS1 with the Lucifer in the final episode. That's growth.

I sincerely hope the third book focuses on their married life and, hopefully, Lucifer being a girl dad 😍😍 10/10

CREDIT

[scrunckled-idiot]

(chat please it took me so long to figure this out)

So uhhg ughm uh-

I got the idea of A survival tf2 horror game based off this post by @the-sound-of-progress (bbg please you haven’t posed in 8 months ☹)

Like my brain is fucked so I like um i- ghuh just hear my idea out please chat-

So the premise of the game is to steal a randomised amount of randomised weapons (min 10 to 15) scattered around the battlefield in 25 or something minuets while giant medic stalks around. Like the game description would be something like:

“what was going to be just a quick and easy heist of stealing some valuable weapons from that freaky base near your town, turns into a deadly game of cat and mouse. as the bases medic has found an interesting way to defend the base at night. Stay out of sight and evade his clutches as you navigate the abandoned battlefield, collect all weapons, and escape back to your vehicle.”

Or something. Like I kept thinking of game mechanics, unique death animations, and achievements for it to. Damn fucking autism. Like firstly how medic would function based on the images.

Medics mechanics and how to counter them:

medic is giant, which means he’ll be slow, right? Makes sense so you could probably outrun him… as long as your sprint meter doesn’t run out. (refillable with MRE packs). In that case, try and take cover in the nearest building.

You’re still not safe yet if you hide in a building. Either medic will wait until you come out (random chance that he will or not), which you can tell he is or not by listening for his breathing or watching for his shadow. Or he’ll try to reach his hand inside and grab you, counter this by pressing against the wall next to the opening.

If you’re atop of a building, he will try to swipe at you or use his bone saw to slash over the roof. Just go further to the middle of the roof to avoid them or just duck.

If he does manage to grab you, time will slow down and you will have a 5 second window to mash the jump button to “wiggle free” or something.

you can bait him to go somewhere else by using walkie talkies. can only use this trick a minimum amount of times before he learns ts a trick.

tid-bits:

At the end of the game it will tell you the total cost of the weapons you stole was, how long it took you, how many MRE packs you ate, and other cool stuff perhaps.

He will hide behind corners of buildings and jump out at you. No counter to this, just a cool jumpscare while he laughs like a fucking madman.

Some Cool and unique death scenes when you’re caught. depending on range:

Long range: shooting a big-ass needle at you from his crossbow, throwing a boulder at you.

Close range: stomped to death, crushed to death, eaten, getting picked up and thunder-cunted into the stratosphere like a baseball, sliced by his bone saw, getting carried away in a comically sized jar.

Player will restart in the spawn rooms or back at the gate if they die.

You’ll know he’s near when the ground starts quaking.

ending cutscene will either have you successfully drive away after stealing the required amount of weapons, or have medic stomp your car while you try to escape if you don't steal the required amounts of weapons. or a secret ending where he follows you home and kills you since you've seen too much (canon ending). not sure what triggers the endings yet.

THERE IS A TIME LIMIT SO YOU CANT CAMP IT OUT PUSSY!!!

Achievements (shitty names tbh someone come up with something better ong):

An apple a day, keeps the doctor away- don’t die once during the whole run

monk diet- don’t eat a single MRE pack during the whole run.

Wiggly woo- escape medics grasp every time you’re caught.

by the skin of your teeth- escape with the good ending.

midnight snack- get the bad ending

you didn't see anything- get the secret ending

Uhhhh… some other ones I cant think of yet. sorry :(

I wanted to do voice lines as well but I couldn’t do it, felt cringe. He’d mostly just use voice lines from the game anyway. Typical laughter and taunts. And Probably some cool things that im not creative enough to think about. Maybe deaths will also have a zestier variant just to awaken something in someone. But ye, just something I came up with within the span of a day. Now wanting this to be real and not fiction :( maybe some kids doing game design in my collage will bring my idea to life? Idk man no promises.

Thank you for listening to me autistically ramble about my tf2 g/t horror game pitch. that is all.

Well, off to hang myself! Watch and lear-

*gak*

[aromanticannibal]

Ok, Feldup recs post!

Mostly my opinion (which is wildly positive) on his most recent album, Stared at from a Distance.

Warnings, this entire album talks about Feldup's SA from a woman twice his age. It's hard to listen to, it was hard to listen to for me, who suffered through no such experiences and isn't triggered, squicked or made uncomfortable by many things.

First, I'd advise that you listen to the entire album all at once (which breaks throughout if needed), in order and with lyrics (there are subtitles in the linked video). I promise it's worth it. Now for my favorite songs :

Stared at from a Distance (2nd track, 12:06), is obviously incredible and one of my faves. It's pretty long and is way more explicit on what it's talking about than Waters (4:55), the first track (which I really liked too, the music video for it is excellently made as well). I really love the way the instrumental and beat switches throughout to accompany the story, and the end of the song made me think I was going to cry (I just needed to sneeze but tbh it's still crying material). Really good, if you listen to only one song in the album I think it should be this one. (Side note, I'm also wondering if I didn't hear part of that song when I was at Feldup's concert - it was before the album was out, but you know. I don't think I heard all of it, but maybe I just forgot).

Naked and Afraid (3rd track, 3:11) is very good and picks up very well after the second track. It makes you understand that this album really is a story you're following, and you're going to get every detail of it. The following track, Dizzy (4:11) is transitioned to so well I thought it was the same song (it's also excellent), and Fear of Abandonment (4:07) right after is like. Painful. /pos

Shove it (6th track, 03:39) is honestly terrifying to listen to, and it works very well for its subject. I don't even have much to talk about for this one, it's just really good. The 7th track, Moment of Sobriety (5:30) managed to be even scarier, because of how real it gets then (if that makes sense. The whole album is painfully real, and it reminds you of this regularly).

Crying as a Weapon (8th track, 5:20) is where I had to take a break. I think it might be one of the most relatable songs for many people who were abused, not just sexually.

Death of an Illusion (9th track, 10:23) is the other very long track of this album and it is, unsurprisingly, incredible, and one of my absolute favorites. It's also one I could relate to a lot, and its progression is very satisfying. It Never Leaves (9:09) is similar to Death of an Illusion, its continuity, and its ending made me incredibly happy.

The last one, To Love Again (4:49), is the song I enjoyed the less, musically speaking, but one of my favorites nevertheless, and a perfect ending for the album in my opinion. It also has a shift in the... well, not the narration, but I guess the message, somewhat (trying not to spoil because it's so incredible to realize to me), which entirely convinced me this is actually my favorite album of all time construction-wise.

In conclusion, Oh My Fucking God this is so incredible.

Feldup is a great person who writes incredible texts and makes excellent music. The constructions of his songs and the way his story is told throughout eleven tracks is beautiful and heartbreaking and hopeful, and it genuinely is currently changing my brain chemistry /hj. It is so good. It's on Spotify and Bandcamp for sure, and I think it's on most other streaming services, and you still have the Youtube video I linked at the top. Please give it a try.

I'll quickly give my favorite songs from his other album, A Thousand Doors, Just One Key, but they're all really good too : Falling Apart (2nd track, 4:08) which is his most known song as far as I'm aware and is a fucking banger from the first notes, Mental Health (6th, 4:25), Attention (3rd, 3:54), and Stockholm (10th, 11:21), which holds one of my favorite lyrics ever (There is no cure/I am the disease).

Anyways, have a good day or night, stream Feldup's music.

[lover-of-mine]

Thank you for your answer it really cleared up the whole coordinator thing as someone that doesn't know how shows work it got very confusing and also thanks for indulging my asks :)

Also I've seen a couple of people saying the kitchen scene might be more in episode 5 where they will resolve their conflict there and like it make sense but dragging a buddie tension for two episodes doesn't seem really on brand with the show. Like unless it's the catastrophes episodes or the lawsuit (even then it was resolved very fast) they don't drag on tensions like this especially if we only have 10 episodes and buck and eddie aren't the only ones in the show. Also, I doubt Eddie would hold a grudge against buck cause of an accident happening on the basketball court even if some words are thrown out (it ain't worse than that groceries scene). What do you think?

But I'm biased cause I won't be able to watch episode 5 until Sunday, so my heart would be tortured for two days and not able to get my fill on tumblr to help me cope, lol

Honestly, I think the loft scene is the last scene of 7x04, since we know Buck and Eddie are working together on 7x05 and the scene kinda feels like an end of episode scene? It could be that they are awkward and then Eddie shows up at the end of 7x05 to clear the air, but I'm guessing it is from 7x04. I'm guessing the progression might be hangar, station, basketball, Buck spiraling with Maddie, loft, unless the basketball is toward the end there, then maybe it would be more stuff happening in the middle, you end the episode with Buck spiraling on that other scene in the loft that he has the different outfit, then you start 7x05 with those other stills of the gym, that Buck is in his civilian clothes, they "clear the air", Eddie notices Buck is being weird and shows up at the end of the episode to fix things. I think it would all depend on how bad was the basketball thing, considering that still where Chim seems to be mad at Buck and there's an abandoned shoe that looks like the one Eddie is wearing and the way Eddie has the bandage in his hand on the still from the gym, they could drag it out a little bit but less in a sense of Eddie is holding it against Buck and more in a Buck is hiding from Eddie sense. I would like to see it be dragged out a little bit tbh, you have Buck spiraling on 7x04 and you have Eddie "spiraling" on 7x05? Especially since Marisol seems to be on 7x05 and there could be problems going on there too, we could get some interesting movements on the story if they dragged it out a little bit more. Even more with the way Oliver and Ryan keep saying that the friendship will persevere, I feel like making the conflict last 10 minutes in episode could be underwhelming? I mean, we know Buck and Eddie are best friends, but they also suck at talking about shit that matters, and Eddie might not understand what's going on for a while, or Buck might start avoiding Eddie because he's scared Eddie is gonna tell him to go away and he doesn't want to get left. There's a lot to explore in a possible conflict triggered by obvious jealousy and Buck's abandonment issues, and I think it would be fun if they did explore it, because it could be a way to get Buck and Eddie on a path where they start talking, and they really need to start talking lol.

[zalia]

The Continuing Adventures of a D2 Player in D1

I am partway through the Taken King expansion now! I have comitted Regicide, explored the Dreadnaught, and even bribed Shaxx to make me a sword. And I have more thoughts about it!

The Bad

Killing Oryx was... kind of anticlimactic tbh? I know the real death is in the raid, but it genuinely felt like just one more mission. There's no real feeling of completion like there is in D2's DLCs, at least partly because D1 is very sparse on cut scenes and character interactions. It feels like you kill Oryx and no-one gives a damn because there's so few character moments to round it off. 'Oh, killed a Hive god? Must be Tuesday.'

The trend of not explaining anything continues. Several of TTK missions leading up to killing Oryx involve Eris shouting at us repeatedly that 'you must become ascendant to follow Oryx!'. No, she will not be explaining what it means to be Ascendant or why it is so important (I mean, I know because it's been nearly 10 years and I have read the lore, but if I hadn't it would be utterly baffling)

There are these patrols you can randomly get where you pick up a mysterious signal. They have several steps and require you to do random things to progress them - the patrol text is (deliberately) glitched and resolves as you get closer. For example, I had one where one of the steps was to do an emote, another step was to kill hobgoblins etc. I love this idea, do not get me wrong! I like the idea of picking up this random signal. But as far as I can tell, these patrols don't lead anywhere. At the end, Ghost says 'At least we know what the message says, even if we don't know who its from'. AND THEN NEVER TELLS YOU WHAT THE MESSAGE SAYS. I have to wonder if this was something that was meant to lead to content that got cut, or was a hook left that could be used for something in future. Possibly something to do with the Nine would have worked, given the random nature of the messages.

*sob* Getting good armour is such a pain. And confusing.

The jump down to the area with the first secret chest in VoG is *horrendous* especially since you can't mantle. There's no ledge to jump from opposie the entrance. (I have not run the whole D1 VoG, but you can break in by doing certain things without having to do the plates).

Who the hell decided that the destination material for Mars, a planet which is predominantly a red-brown colour, should be a RED-BROWN ROCK?!

The Good

One of the missions in the lead up to killing Oryx involves you having to stealth through Crota's End raid area to steal a piece of his soul. The enemies have a red ring around them you need to avoid or you'll be seen. It's actually pretty cool! very atmospheric too, and nice to have a mission which isn't about brute forcing your way through enemies. I think the stealth system would need some tweaking to make it genuinely fun for more than a one-off thing, but it was a nice change of pace!

The Dreadnaught is a really awesome patrol area. It feels huge, there are lots of nooks and crannies to explore, hidden bridges you need Ghost to see, tunnels to crawl through. Plenty of secrets. Gloriously creepy. I am not even close to finishing exploring (at least partly because I keep getting lost - my sense of direction is garbage in games)

There are different Vanguard Strike playlists available: Legacy, Taken King, and SIVA crisis. Vanguard strikes are different depending on where you are in the story!!! I did not know this going in. There's one strike I've done a few times on the Legacy playlist, where a Fallen Archon escapes from the Prison of Elders. I got it yesterday on the Taken King playlist. Starts out the same, then partway through you go into a cave system. Previously, those caves have involved fighting Vex. Went in last night and it's full of Taken! That was a shock. And progressing, the rest of the strike is full of blights and when you reach the Archon fight, the Archon has been taken! It was a really cool thing to experience, especially going in without knowing beforehand. Doing something I thought I was familiar with and having it change up on me was great. Similarly, the Omnigul strike (the one the Disgraced strike is based off). The dialogue has changed up to kind of move the timeline and have it set after Oryx's fall, and the first room, which has previously contained only Eliksni... now you get ambushed by Hive too! I really love the idea of Vanguard strikes evolving with the storyline - it makes them feel more connected to the world state. I know we've had updates for Lake of Shadows and Arms Dealer in a similar way, but god i would love more!

The vault is split into sections so you can see just your armour, just your weapons, just your other assorted junk, instead of one 600 space mess.

I am getting so much practice using Golden Gun. In D2 I have used Blade Barrage almost exclusively, but since starting D1, where Blade Barrage does not exist, I've started using Deadshot in D2 as well and I'm having fun with it! I even got into a crucible match in D2 and got several golden gun kills which was nice!

I'm more willing now to use supers in D2 instead of always saving them for the boss XD It is a space magic game and I should use the space magic more.

Other Thoughts

I cannot decide how I feel about the currencies+destination materials On the one hand, I am constantly running out of glimmer. It's much more scarce and hard to get and the amount you can carry is much much lower (25K I believe) and you need it for levelling up weapons and armour just to get the perks. Collecting destination materials is necessary and can be kind of a slog (also you need different Ghost Shells to get the trackers for different materials). I know getting the exotic swords later is gonna be painful because you need to get a material that has a low drop rate. Legendary Marks are random drops from doing activities too, and you need them to buy any legendary gear. You can hold 200 of them at a time, and some of the stuff costs 175 Marks. On the other hand, it makes acquiring weapons and armour something a bit more special and valuable. In D2 I can just go to Banshee and buy whatever I want, and make that glimmer back in approximately ten seconds on any destination. I currently have max engrams with all the seasonal vendors, and a whole lot with the ritual vendors and I decode them just to junk whatever comes up a lot of the time. Destination materials... exist. And have no real use. I feel like the ease of acquiring weapons in D2 means I don't appreciate them. And I don't branch out and try new weapons much. I junk the majority of the random drops I get without even bothering to look. In D1 I end up trying out pretty much any purple weapon that comes my way because I don't have that many to choose from. Needing to acquire destination materials means that I spend more time exploring and poking into places I wouldn't normally bother to in D2. Will that side room on the dreadnaught have Hadium flakes for me? IDK, better check it out because I need them! So my rate of play feels more leisurely - wandering a patrol zone without any real purpose feels more rewarding, even when I'm returning to places like the Cosmodrome. So yeah, conflicted about this. We'll see how I feel later on when I have played many more hours of D1

y'know, I would love it if they brought the Dreadnaught back as a destination, maybe for Episode Heresy (the Hive one) after Final Shape. But not the Dreadnaught as it is in D1 - the Dreadnaught after 10 years of being derelict, picked over by scavengers, fought over by different Hive factions, slowly rotting after the death of its master. I think there's a lot that could be done with it - new Hive cults forming in the depths? Taken monstrosities? Some of the descriptions of areas on the Dreadnaught also talk about how Oryx kept specimens from conquered/destroyed species there, and tortured and experimented on them. Ghost at one point comments that there are things even the Hive fear and have yet to be able to weaponise. So... what else is still trapped on the Dreadnaught?

Shaxx has a line when you bring him Oryx's sword Shaxx: That sword shard you carry... is that the dreaded Willbreaker, Sword of Oryx? I have not seen such a blade in many years, Guardians.' I know it doubtless means 'hey, I was on the moon during the Great Disaster. I saw some shit', but the way it's phrased is so specific that it's a great jumping off point for fic ideas XD

[spurgie-cousin]

I feel like this Generation of Bates/Duggars aren’t taking “Be fruitful and multiply” to the farthest extent.

I honestly think that maybe Erin, Jess, Tori and Joy Anna will be the only ones who have more than 10 kids.

I also think the Rods missed the memo.

Yea I think that has a lot to do with distancing themselves from the IBLP tbh. Outside of Catholics and super conservative pockets of Christianity like IBLP/quiverfull movement, having as many babies as humanly possible isn't tied to morality in the same way. Like at my church, there were definitely families who took it seriously but no one thought twice if you didn't, if that makes sense. And even those families were more comparable size-wise to the 2nd gen Duggars/Bates.

Fortunately, I think the more "progressive" Bates and Duggar kids out number the ones who aren't, and I think that represents a trend for gen z/millennial fundie Christians as a whole. Most seem to be moving toward the mainstream, and even if pants and having a normal number of kids is as far as they go, the likelihood of *their* kids moving even further towards the middle definitely increases because of that.

I do think we'll see a big decrease in the Keller and Paine and Rodrigues-sized families within the next generation, at least in this corner of fundamentalism.

[rigginsstreet]

first line analysis

tagged by @blood-mocha-latte

rules: post the first lines of up to 10 of your last fics/chapters posted on ao3 or your wips and try to draw some conclusions.

now you wanna try your life with sin

The bells over the entrance of Pop’s alert FP to the fact that there’s a new customer, but he doesn’t look up from his warm mug of black coffee - on the house, because Pop never lets him pay for anything, not when he comes in this late, especially not when he’s sporting a freshly blooming black eye or split lip or sometimes both. It’s neither tonight. Tonight he’s just… lonely. Not by any means, a new feeling for him, but sometimes it hits harder than others, especially now that he’s out on his own. Still beats living with his old man. He’s not complaining, it’s just, sometimes he needs to be around people. Even if it’s just Pop Tate. And whoever else is looking for company this side of the tracks so late at night.

2. on the back of a hurricane

61 days. That’s how long it’s been since Fred’s parents dropped him off in this place. What was only supposed to be a few weeks has turned into a few months, because the doctors don’t think he’s getting any better, haven’t seen any progress.

3. i carried you to the car and drove you home but you weren't making any sense.

It’s another party of the week, another reason to get shitfaced. Except this time Billy didn’t get the chance, because by the time he worked his way to his third beer, Steve had apparently decided to drown himself in the punch bowl, and, well, intervening needed to occur.

4. i know i must behave to contain all my emotion

Never again would Heather Teresa Holloway move across the country for a boy.

5. dreamed of all the different ways i had to make him glow

“My mom used to build blanket forts all the time,” Billy admits one night, out of the blue while he’s snuggled up against Steve’s side, cheek resting against his naked chest.

6. i want to tell you this story without having to confess anything.

It’s the third night this month Billy has shown up on his doorstep looking worse for wear. He’s lost track of how many times it’s been since they started being cordial to each other, before that made its way into something more serious, more all-consuming.

7. play time

Billy had this rule for himself: for every guy he hooked up with, he had to make a public spectacle of hooking up with a random girl. It helped ease any nerves he had about being found out. Make sure people see him acting like a heterosexual and no one will catch on that he’d rather be sucking dick. Balance out the universe a little bit.

8. parentdale tumblr drabbles

alice smith is about the last person gladys expects to see waltzing into the wyrm in the middle of the afternoon. not since she decided to abandon her club for the likes of her preppy ken doll boyfriend and all the other plastic neanderthals of the north side.

9. no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike

He wakes up on the forest floor, surrounded by trees and the chirping of early morning birds, naked as the day he was born. As he was last night, the last memory he has before everything just… went black.

10. come on baby let me see what you hiding underneath

The sun beats down hot over Hawkins. Another one of those brutal summer days that leaves you panting by the time it takes to walk down your driveway.

what ive learned from this (what i already knew tbh lmao) is that i like to just drop right into a story. no preamble lets just get right to the point lmao

tagging @harrygroves @thatgirlwithasquid @imsodishy

[theageoftheunderstatement]

Triple J: Arctic Monkeys' Alex Turner talks Lego, videogames, and new album The Car

Written by Al Newstead, 25/10/2022

It only takes one test drive of The Car – Arctic Monkeys’ first new album in four years – to hear that it picks up right where the subversive, slower sound of Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino left off.

Characterised by lush string orchestrations and spacious production, it's an album designed for luxuriating in rather than stomping along to.

Fans shouldn’t have anticipated otherwise. A full six months before The Car’s release, drummer Matt Helders managed expectations, saying:

"I mean, it’s never gonna be like ‘R U Mine?’ and all that stuff again, you know like, the heavy riffs and stuff."

And with one quote, a stake was driven through the hopeful heart of Arctic Monkeys fans wishing for a return to the hooky, leather-jacketed rock of AM (voted by triple j listeners as the best album of 2013). But then again, it was a pretty naïve position to assume they would.

Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino was - and even more so with the benefit of hindsight - a transitional record. It might have felt like whiplash transitioning from AM’s burly, horny riffs to a sci-fi obsessed lounge act but it was a pretty clear statement of artistic intent that Arctic Monkeys would no longer be repeating themselves.

“I don’t think it’s as easy to get back there as perhaps it seems like it is. That’s what I’ve found,” frontman Alex Turner tells triple j.

“Every time I’ve sort of thought about attempting to go in a direction that you’ve been before, it sort of feels – quite quickly – sounds like a spoof or something. I think we’ve always just been following the same instincts we were in the beginning. That hasn’t really changed.”

Quizzed about what he might retort to fans taken back by their shift in direction, unwilling to follow the band on their artistic journey, he replies candidly – with thoughtful pauses between: “I guess there aren’t really the riffs that there once were in any of this new stuff. But there’s a bunch of guitar on there… No is probably the answer. No, it won’t bring them back,” he chuckles. “I was skirting around it there.”

At its best, The Car drifts along on sultry, retro arrangements that accompany Alex Turner’s aching croon and newly refined falsetto, swooning on ‘Perfect Sense’ and peacocking in ‘I Ain’t Quite Where I Think I Am’.

For what it’s worth, the climax of ‘Body Paint’ and the bouncing ‘Hello You’ put a little more pulse and vitality into the band’s performances but overall, the album is moody, melancholy and treads the line between soft and sleepy a little too dangerously at times.

Critics of the Monkeys’ shift to a smokier, stranger sound on TBH&C won’t find much more to love about The Car. Those that embraced it, will.

As Turner points out, those older records are always there to be pressed play on. And they’re still a huge part of their world class live show – Arctic Monkeys will be back on our shores to prove it, headlining East Coast shows and a bunch of festivals.

It’s clear that the teenage scribe who came up with poetic ways of describing lust - in tunes like ‘505’, ‘Do I Wanna Know?’ and ‘Suck It And See’ – is long gone.

Turner’s songwriting is one of the most unique evolutions in the realms of Big Rock Bands that graduated from the 2000s indie sleaze era.

Once famed for the sharply drawn suburban settings and memorable characters that filled his songs, he’s progressed into a dapper-suited, Scott Walker/Serge Gainsbourg-obsessed lounge lizard singing surreal ‘70s-styled spy movie ballads.

Another pre-album quote that defined The Car’s introduction saw Turner promising that “on this record, sci-fi is off the table. We are back to Earth.”

What that really equates to is more cryptic lyrical ruminations that drift ambiguously between autobiography and fiction, and whose meanings only really make sense to the musician who penned them.

His biting lyrical wit still surfaces – the line ‘puncturing your bubble of reliability with your horrible new sound’ (from 'Scultptures of Anything Goes') is easy to interpret as a cheeky moment of self-awareness – but largely, he’s weaving velvety verses out of real mouthfuls.

‘For a master of deception and subterfuge, you’ve made yourself quite the bed to lie in. Do your time travelling through the tanning booth, so you don’t let the sun catch you crying’ goes ‘Body Paint’.

‘And if we guess who I’m pretending to be/ Do we win a prize? Having attempted twice, both incorrectly / Do we get a third try?’  goes ‘Mr. Schwartz.

There’s also a big throughline fixation with show business. There’s references to cinema, film crews and techniques, musical theatre, orchestras, composition, and 'performing in Spanish on Italian TV'.

In the opening of ‘Hello You’, Turner sings: ‘Lego Napoleon movie written in noble gas-filled glass tubes/Underlined in sparks/I’ll admit it’s elaborate for a wakin’ thought’

So… what’s going on there?

“Yeah, what is that all about!?’ Turner jokes.

“Well, I suppose it’s a lyric sort of about having ideas is what’s going on there,” he explains.

“I remember reading about [director Stanley] Kubrick was going to make a Napoleon movie, maybe they had a script for it already. I was daydreaming one day and was imagining the Lego Batman people getting hold of that script and surprising everybody.”

When the conversation turns to the ever-popular series of Lego videogames, Turner notes:

“You know what, man. I haven’t played a videogame for about… I’m going to say 12 years. I got really into the last one I was playing, then just had to take a step back.” The game? Metal Gear Solid, the iconic series from auteur (and Monkeys fan) Hideo Kojima, famed for their elaborate espionage plots and immersive cinematics as much as their stealth action.

It’s James Bond as imagined by an artsy, anxious mind preoccupied with nuclear conspiracy theories and flaunting genetic destiny, with a tendency to (scarily) predict future world events.

“Wow, I didn’t think we were going Metal Gear Solid in this interview,” he laughs. “I’m going to be sorry I said that now.”

He can’t remember specifically what pulled him away from the controller but “thought I’d better make some records or something.”

The young singer-guitarist who came to fame betting that you looked good on the dancefloor may have grown up, but the spectre of teenage Turner – the scrappy Sheffield lad who made it big on MySpace with his indie rock tales of naughtiness – still haunts the adult Turner.

“He’s been cropping up a few times today, 19-year-old Alex. I’ve been time travelling all day long doing some interviews today,” says the frontman.

And what advice might the world-wise 36-year-old, seven albums deep into his career, give his younger self? “Well, whatever I could think of, I’d imagine it would fall on deaf ears.”

The volume might’ve been turned down from Arctic Monkeys’ electric introduction nearly 20 years ago, but the spirit of challenging themselves remains.

Whatever people say Alex Turner is. That’s what he’s not.

[meg2md]

I'm obsessed with the concept of becoming as fit as I can because it's the only thing that keeps me tethered to my sense of self as a resident. And obviously given my obsession (read: hyper-fixation) with ACOTAR, and my absolute LOVE of Nesta/Emerie/Gwyn, I am going to plan out a 10,000 stair challenge based on how many stairs Nesta does at various points in ACOSF. It's all over TikTok. And then do the climbing Ramiel challenge (found this cute lil bit online) with my own modifications:

100 push-ups per day, 100 sit-ups per day, 1 plank 60s or more per day, for 30 days. Eventually hold 5-min plank. Does not have to be done all at once, I'm thinking like 10 sets of 10 push-ups per day and maybe 2 sets of 50 sit-ups. And then a plank whenever.

This month will try 25 push-ups and 50 sit-ups every other day, then progress to 50 every other day, then 50 every day, then 100 every other day, then 100 every day

Allowed to skip days I go to the gym for other stuff (2-4 days/wk)

I squat and deadlift enough at the gym already, and I need push exercises to balance out all the pull exercises I do for pull-up prep

Nesta stair challenge goals:

111 steps down and up (pgs 96-97)

1,000 steps down and up (pgs 211-212)

3,000 steps down and up (pg 308)

10,000 steps down only (pg 478)

10,000 steps down and up (pg 630)

I feel like I missed some, like I could have sworn she did 8,000 at one point. Anyway. At some point will also need to work on ~mindfulness~ and ~breathing~ a la "mind-stilling" hahahaha

And then obviously my long-standing goal of being able to do pull-ups by the end of R3. Right now I can do 4 chin-ups and 0 pull-ups, but I've been focusing on exercises to help my engage my lats. All things considered not a bad place to start.

By the time I graduate residency (2 loooong years from now), I want to be a BEAST. I refuse to let my physical fitness slip. The gym is the only place I feel confident, competent, and, well, pretty lol. Residency makes me feel unliked, unlovable, and incapable. And yes, a lot of this comes from my own mental-illness-ridden head, but the feelings persist regardless.

Yeah. Reasons I identify with Nesta so much. My fantasy books and the gym are the only things that keep me grounded, keep me from becoming someone I hate.

EDIT: found this, seems more reasonable than jumping from 3,000 to 10,000. Although tbh part of me wants to go BOTH down and up like Nestie

[thir13enghosts]

Do you think any of the women are feminist or support feminism? I know for a FACT Royce is drinking "Respect Women Juice" all day everyday

uhhh kind of? i mean i feel like the only one who actively considered/called herself a feminist would've been jean, coming from the vantage point of being from the late 2000s - early 2010s and having more access to feminist material (both from the past and the present) compared to everyone else

as for the others...

(also disclaimer: i'm going with My versions of the ghosts which tend to differ a bit from canon. just roll with it)

billy michaels: billy was like at most 10 years old when he died. he was probably still in his "ewww girls have cooties" phase. he had no concept of feminism.

jimmy gambino: ngl to you, not really lol. i mean he more or less supported women both then and now (at the very least he wasn't Actively misogynistic, which is the bare minimum), but at the same time i feel like he's the type to call a woman he Just met "sweetheart" or "honey" so yeah. he says stupid shit every now and then, but he'll also listen to you when you call it out and make the effort to not do that again (or at the very least not do it in front of you). might roll his eyes or even laugh at you at first, but he'll still make the effort. like the guy's not perfect by any means but. he's trying.

dana newman: that's a complicated one. on one hand, dana strikes me as someone who probably dealt with a Lot of internalized misogyny, and this goes for both my version & the canon version. probably lowkey prided herself on (whilst also hating herself for) her attempts at being a "good woman" which was basically: keep your head down, keep your legs crossed, keep your mouth shut, remember the man is always right, and maybe this time he'll be nicer to you. hasn't really worked for her so far, but third fourth fifth time's a charm! but on the other hand, i also think that dana was at least Aware of the feminist movements taking place during her time (the 1960s) and likely supported feminist goals, even if she never voiced it out loud. like she wanted to believe that things might get better for her and other women but didn't really hold out much hope for it Actually happening.

royce clayton: i feel like he was better than most boys his age when it came to Not Being Shit To Women (which...unfortunately isn't saying much considering this is the 1950s we're talking abt here), but i don't think he thought much abt feminism itself aside from whatever he might've heard on the news or from the papers. he's kinda like jimmy where he'll say something kinda Ehhh every now and then, but he'll also listen to you when you call it out and make the effort to not do that again. his mamá taught him to be respectful after all, and even after all this time, even after all the ways being a ghost has changed his personality, he doesn't wanna let her down.

susan legrow: kind of? like if you told her some feminist talking points without telling her they were feminist talking points, she'd probably agree with them, but she definitely wouldn't have called herself a feminist. remember, susan was around during the reagan administration; she probably only knew feminists as the stereotype of like bitter, man-hating, lonely Bitches with hairy pits (oh the HORROR!!! /s) and harsh voices and no sense of humor who at best were trying to ruin everyone's fun and at worst were actively trying to Exterminate All Men. it was very much like "tbh that does make a lot of sense...but if i started talking Like That, then no guy would wanna go out with me and i want guys to go out with me! that's definitely what i actually want for myself after all and not just me imitating what i've been taught all Normal Girls want!"

isabella smith: feminism wasn't a Thing during her time. however, i imagine she did have somewhat progressive views for her time (which was probably part of why she was so ostracized), and i do feel like if feminism as a term/social movement was Around back then, she definitely would be a feminist

amelia shelburne: i feel like amelia had Heard the word "feminism" and maybe even had an idea of what goals feminism was striving for (at the time), but idk how much she really knew abt it—mostly bc i still go back and forth on how much she knew abt life outside the circus she & her mother travelled with in general. and even then i feel like she was probably a passive supporter at most, like "that sounds great and i wish them luck but i've got Other Things to worry abt"

margaret shelburne: no but in a very resigned kind of way? as far as margaret was concerned, this feminism idea was for the """normal""" women in the big cities, not for a "circus freak" like herself.

george markley: i don't think george would've identified as a feminist, but that's not to say that he would've been a misogynist. i do think that he at the very least thought that women should be respected as the fellow human beings they are. however the feminism movement that was going on during the time that the markleys lived and died was first wave feminism, and first wave feminism was primarily focused on the rights of white women. intersectionality—such as considering the plight of women of color or working class women and how that would further impact their experience with misogyny—wasn't a priority at the time. and since both george and his wife (i've been thinking her name was ruth) were working class black ppl living in rural late 1800s virginia, they weren't ppl that a lot of popular first wave feminists would make space for.

lenore howlett: no bc part of being a feminist requires caring abt other women/other ppl in general and lenore just...doesn't.

horace mahoney: oh fuck no, absolutely not. horace doesn't see women as people—he sees women as machines with parts that he can disassemble and put back together as he pleases. literally.

[quelsentiment]

🌳 2023 writing year in review 🌳

Thanks @feeisamarshmallow for tagging me!!

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 10

2. Word count posted for the year:  172,831

3. Fandoms I wrote for: Video blogging RPF (Dream Team) and One Direction

4. Pairings:

dteam: every combination of dnn (both romantically and platonically) but with a preference for snf; dream & callahan

1d: zayn/louis

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Wild Card (641)

Bookmarks: Wild Card (345)

Comment threads: Wild Card (77)

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

It's probably a tie between Wild Card and In Bloom. The first one because I managed to go past my insecurities and write whatever the hell I wanted to write even if it meant that the characters weren't always likeable, and the second one because I think it contains some of my favourite writing, especially in the first chapter, and I think it's one of my most memorable and personal stories

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

Maybe my Zouis fic because it's a band AU and I would have wanted it to be longer and more intricate, but at that point I had lost most of my interest in the fandom so I just did what I could then called it a day :/ I don't really know if I'll ever write for 1d again, although Zayn will always be close to my heart and I suspect I might still get a Zouis brainrot at some point, so who knows

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I was so lucky to get a lot of lovely comments this year, and have people connect with my stories even though I'm new to the dteam fandom. Some of them were really meaningful and honestly made my day. On the lighter side of things, one of my favourite things that happened was someone bookmarking my fic In Bloom with the note 'trees', and also people losing their shit in the comments after I posted chapter 5 of Wild Card

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

... over the past few weeks. tbh I haven't even tried writing because I've been too busy dealing with chronic illness and anxiety + the holidays. Hoping that it gets better progressively and I'm able to get back to it.

Otherwise I wrote pretty consistently and productively throughout 2023, with a break in August when I spent time with family.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: 

In general, writing Wild Card was a kind of epiphany because it was my first time writing from Sapnap's POV and it made me realize how fun it was for me. I guess he's really impulsive and proud while also being loving and kind of shy, and I just love that combination.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

From In Bloom:

“But you loved him?”

George turns to look at him but Sapnap is still staring at the view, acting like he didn’t just ask that incredibly personal question. George guesses they’re past that anyway. There’s something about today that just doesn’t make sense, like their meeting is an anomaly that shouldn’t have even happened, and this is probably what makes it easier to share some things that George usually keeps close to his chest. That, plus the fact that Sapnap will disappear tomorrow along with the last remnants of winter.

“I did love him,” George says quietly as he sits down on the floor, soon followed by Sapnap. “I loved him the way someone loves their first boyfriend or girlfriend, you know? Thinking it’ll last forever and all that, even when all signs pointed to the fact that it wouldn’t. But he made me feel grown-up, like I had my life together or something, which is pretty dumb because we were only nineteen when we got together. It’s weird, though, because I feel much more like a kid now than I did back then.”

He lights up another cigarette and offers Sapnap the first puff, a cheap excuse to feel the cold tip of his fingers again.

“So from what I’m understanding, you’re regressing,” Sapnap says. The smoke surrounds him like a halo before the wind makes it fade into the city below.

“Yeah, exactly. God, I need a job or something. Like, an actual job. Maybe then I’ll feel like an adult.”

He extends his hand, wanting the cigarette back, but Sapnap holds onto it. Maybe he is addicted already.

“But what about trees, though?” Sapnap says, taking another puff. “You can’t give up on trees.”

“No, you’re right, I can’t,” George sighs dramatically. “That’s the tragedy.”

Sapnap finally gives him the cig back and they fall into silence for a while, just enjoying the distant rumbling of the streets below, and the quiet sound of their breathing.

For the first time since they locked eyes in Kensington Gardens, Sapnap suddenly removes his cap so he can run a hand through his hair. The hat is back on before George can even process it, and he curses himself for not having been able to take a mental photograph of how Sapnap looked without that shield of his.

He offers the cigarette again. This time, Sapnap’s fingers linger on his for half a second longer.

“I’ve been in love for a long time, and it’s never made me feel like I was an adult,” Sapnap says, breaking the silence. “More like the opposite, actually. Sometimes I feel like a little kid who won’t take no for an answer, who clings on to the idea that maybe if I ask in the right way just once, he’ll change his mind.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: 

I think one of my goals last year was to explore darker themes, and I think I kind of did that by having morally grey characters who sometimes act like assholes and act in questionable ways, particularly in Wild Card, Light The Fuse, Fade Away and an anon fic. Also I'm still on my way to getting more and more comfortable with writing (semi-)explicit scenes, and it's been fun to work on that again this year.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I don't really know. Things have been pretty hard lately so all I want is to be able to go back to writing and have fun with it.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): 

In terms of other writers, definitely Selvish (I'm too awkward to tag him lol). I think we kind of have similar writing styles which is very comforting for me, and I just love how much thought he puts into the characters and their actions, and writes about stuff that's quite unique in the fandom, without shying away from darker themes

Other sources of inspiration were nature, especially trees, music as always (a lot of Susanne Sundfør and Paramore), films (Before Sunrise, Past Lives, That Summer Feeling) and tv (BBC Merlin and Bridgerton), plus probably other stuff that I'm forgetting about

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Yes!! As I said In Bloom is very personal, and a lot of the thoughts George has regarding his degree and his uncertainty about where his life is going were directly inspired by what I felt (also the fact that he goes on exchange in America). On top of that, some of the chapters of this fic are named after some of my favourite trees I encountered in the Pacific Northwest, and the first sentence about walking home from the library came to me as I walked home from the library

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Something that I already knew but was definitely reinforced this year was that it's impossible and useless to try and predict how 'popular' your fic is going to be in terms of stats. Like Wild Card kind of blew up (in my standards lol) and I genuinely didn't expect it to because I thought that pairing was pretty unpopular. And then I thought a fic like Fade Away would get much more engagement because of the exes to lovers trope, but it didn't happen. So in the end, even though stats didn't influence me that much to begin with, now I'm just like 'whatever, I'll write what I'll write and see what happens'

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I have one snf wip that I'm hoping to get back to soon. Otherwise we'll see where the year takes me

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

If you see this and want to do it please do!

[valersia]

my thoughts on Hazbin Hotel (so far) as someone who has been waiting for 5 years :

episode 1 :

- i was a bit shocked at the microphone quality for vaggie especially (negative) and the voice change for angel dust hit me like a truck but i actually do like the new va !!!

- the camera angles and scene changes were a bit goofy but i think the trailers and advertising made them out to be worse than expected

- the angel dude being as evil as the demons was a bit confusing but learning he is meant to be Adam makes it make more sense tbh he’s like a spoiled youngest child

- the music was pretty good and it sets the scene very well for the rest of the episodes especially for new viewers

- 7/10 overall

episode 2 :

- the music again was awesome i love the range of voices and types of music, all the songs were very theatrical which i love (as a theatre kid lol)

- it was cool to see Vox and his rivalry with Alastor, seeing a bit of Alastors past was much needed but i do feel like Alastor should be more characterised and i hope they do that more in the coming episodes because rn he’s very 1D

- meeting the Vees was very entertaining and getting to know them more was cool, i like how we got to see Valentino’s character more because it made my hate for him more justified lol

- 8/10 overall

episode 3 :

- sir pentious redemption arc was much needed because he fr is just a silly little guy so i’m happy they did that

- i liked how we stemmed off from the main cast whilst also showing them doing the trust excersises. meeting the overlords and focusing on one of them was pretty cool to see the stance of the ones in power in hell. i like how we got the reveal and reminder of the dead angel.

- music slapped as usual, i love vaggie and the overlords song duet type beat because it went so hard

- and seeing more of vaggies dynamic with charlie was very interesting

- 8/10

episode 4 :

- MY FAV EPISODE. I’m so glad all the episodes got better and better as we go on

- seeing the build up to this angel dust episode was super cool, the fact husk and him have their little moment together through this song meant everything to me. they’re soulmates and i’ve thought that since 2019 !!!

- poison slaps aswell as revealing angels thoughts about his work

- seeing the darker side of hell was much needed, and seeing angel dust take down his walls was so nice to see and i’m glad we already got a angel focused episode.

- it progresses angels story as well as husks and shows charlie’s overprotective tendencies of her friends.

- 9/10 !!!

all in all, for the first 4 episodes this show is living up to what i hoped it’d be ! i’m hoping we get more alastor focused content and more angel and husk and valentino stuff because i feel like there’s a lot they can do with those characters. i won’t lie charlie is a bit annoying and as of now i feel like vaggies only character trait is being protective of charlie but i hope that changes with the next 4 episodes. anyways let me know your opinions on the show so far because i’d love to hear them :]

[sbrn10]

Post-weekend thoughts: 24/01/02 edition

1. I am back at work. This is the worst.

2. However, it's pretty slow today so at least it's not the worst. I am thus on tumblr on the company dime.

3. Bought myself a Legion Go as a self Christmas present: I can now play AAA PC games away from my desktop (for about 1.5 hours at a time if not near a power outlet, admittedly, but still!) which really means mostly on the bus to and from work, but given that this is roughly a 1.5 hour trip each way it works out fantastically. Also, since I have a trip to NY coming up next month I will take this instead of my laptop and it will be the best of all worlds! Yay capitalism.

General thoughts: It is pretty heavy - playing it in bed or on the go is a significantly less comfortable experience than something like the Switch. However, the screen is gorgeous and it plays the games I want to play on PC, so. Worth it.

The controllers are a little weirdly sized and shaped for my hands, but not terrible. Would say I prefer them over the Switch joycons but obviously normal Xbox controllers or DualSenses are superior if you have the choice.

The vertical mouse mode I do not think I would use for FPS games, tbh, but for general desktop use or less performance sensitive games that don't have good controller support it's actually pretty good.

So far enjoying it; ask me again in like 6 months.

4. Signed up for a month of gamepass (which I should have done AFTER I bought the Legion Go because it comes with a complimentary 3 month pass, but alas, planning was never my strong suit. The pass is claimable until some point in 2025 though so I can use it later.) and am going through a bunch of games I wanted to try but did not get around to:

5. Starfield: Finished with about 50-60ish hours.

The beginning is rough -- just the worst hook into one of these that I've seen in a while, mostly in the sense that the main plot surrounding the Artifacts is dogshit boring and the missions for the main plot are ALSO dogshit boring (the temples are fucking terrible and a waste of time).

The rest of the game also feels... mediocre in basically all respects. Like, not bad. Just mid. Nothing feels very new and everything that exists feels so... paint by the numbers. Like, here's a planet whose surface looks procedurally generated (I don't know whether it is or not, but it looks that way) -- it doesn't look bad, but it doesn't look all that good either. Here's some RPG skill progression, except there's no way to respec your character (it's fucking 2023, Bethesda, what the fuck?) and every suboptimal choice you made early on (because you didn't know what the fuck you were doing) makes you feel incredibly annoyed at the game. In particular, character is nonexistent -- all your companions feel incredibly boring, and I fucking married Sarah just to see what the romance was like. Like, coming off of BG3 this year (which, tbh, is also not the strongest cast of characters, compared to, e.g., the heights of golden age Bioware, but still very obviously has had a lot of love and care poured into the character writing) into Starfield is just... tragic. I think I spent the first like 5-10 hours mostly thinking "wow, I am so glad I did not pay for this game."

Sidenote: I did not touch the outpost or crafting stuff because guess what I didn't pick those skills in the skill tree :) But also remembering Fallout 4's base building part, none of that seemed particularly engaging. I built one outpost that was a couple buildings just to see what it was like and the building UI was so fiddly that I immediately quit that and never touched it again.

However, the UC Vanguard quest was actually really interesting (highly recommend beelining for this tbh) and once I got a little invested in that the rest of the major faction quests (Freestar Collective, Ryujin, and Crimson Fleet) were all interesting enough that I did not quit after 10 hours and did in fact finish the game.

tldr: 6.5/10, would not recommend unless you also have gamepass and are bored. That said, I did play like 50 hours of it, so. Make of that what you will.

6. Hi-Fi Rush:

I'm actually very bad at these type of combo brawlers (mostly because getting the muscle memory down for the combo variety just takes forever and I always default to using only a handful of moves, which makes me feel bad :( ) but enjoying the presentation and music a lot. It is the most anime, in the best sense.

Also, voice cast. Robbie keeps throwing me for a loop like, hey, I know that guy. Damn you, Critical Role, you have ruined games for me! (Shoutout: Aabria as a background NPC in Starfield - you were a highlight of the entire game, baby.)

Kind of bummed that I started this on gamepass honestly - I should've just paid for it on Steam so I could keep my stats and achievements and stuff. I mean, I COULD buy it on Xbox Windows but that app is garbage 🙃

Yet to finish - but 9/10 would definitely recommend.

7. (Not gamepass but from my winter steam sale haul -- yes, I spend too much money on games) Griftlands:

Klei does not miss. Very solid 10-ish hour game with really good character writing (hi, Bethesda, please take notes). I have beaten all three characters, with only two failed runs on normal difficulty so it's, you know, a decent challenge but nothing too difficult. Still going through and trying out other builds and choices. That said, I'm not usually a deckbuilder player so I couldn't tell you how it stacks up against other deckbuilders.

8.5/10, would definitely recommend on sale.

8. My general next to-play list:

On Gamepass so higher priority during my one month:

Pentiment

The Lamplighter's League

Against the Storm

Slay the Spire

Jusant

Cocoon

Like a Dragon Gaiden

Steam backlog (including things I bought like three years ago and still haven't played/finished...):

Life is Strange 2

Marvel's Midnight Suns

Tales of Berseria

Great Ace Attorney Chronicles

9. As you can tell, I did not do much of anything that was not gaming in the liminal period that is the last week of December. I had a brief thought that maybe I would write something about Laudna and Ashton and what the fuck is up with them during the 3 week BH break, but no, creative brain is out, mindless consumption brain is in! My god, there are so many games these days. I haven't even played Diablo 4, FF16, Alan Wake 2, Super Mario Bros Wonder or Spiderman 2 yet -- admittedly, I am unlikely to ever play Diablo 4 or Alan Wake 2 (I did not finish Alan Wake 1 -- at one point they turned off the lights and I put down my controller and said nope!) but I do theoretically want to get around to the others! Even FF16 which people have also said is mid, I still want to see its midness for myself! Yes, these are very first world problems.

10. Do I plan to do anything that is not gaming through any part of January? Debatable. Such is my life these days.

11. Anyway, happy new year to everyone. Hopefully 2024 is less miserable for the world in general.

P.S. Tumblr rich text editor's treatment of unordered lists and ordered lists is so fucking stupid.

[i-sveikata]

Hi there again!!

After finishing ep 10 of your fic I've finally opened Spotify playlist. And I'm stunned. They fit so well it's almost crazy. Which gets me wondering did you find the songs after writing or the songs gave you some ideas?

And if you would choose one song that could give a little spoiler for the next chapter? 🥺 It's ok if not.

Sorry for filling your inbox I just can't stop thinking about them 😩

Love

Hope your are good

Oh hello hello!!

Thank you so much what a fun question!

Tbh I have a pretty poor memory lol but I don’t think I had the playlist yet when I first started this story. I like to listen to music a lot so when I was daydreaming about the fic it just started progressing naturally to- oh this song would suit them! And this one, and this one and then suddenly I was making a playlist to keep them all in one place!

I do listen to it a lot now while writing so it definitely helps with inspo of the vibes of scenes and stuff. I don’t specifically remember getting ideas from songs in particular but I’m sure it’s subliminally influencing the fic for sure lol

I’m not sure if this would really be a spoiler for the next chap because it is firmly in draft land atm (I.e a smattering of existing scenes that I’m now putting together like papier-mâché before writing into the gaps) but the song I do have in mind for chap eleven is only with you by cyn.

I feel like they hit the vibe so much like:

‘I need you right at the door, instead of racing through my mind’

‘I did not know yet just how I would get, distance makes me fonder’

‘I don’t want anything to do with anyone but you, only with you’

Like damn it fits for me lol. That being said the chap title song might change as the draft changes (I’ll admit I’ve done that before)

Basically I’ve got a list of lyrics that I think really fit and as the chaps go along I kind of put them where I think they belong if that makes sense?

But yeah at the moment that song defs fits their intensity- especially the fact that things are REALLY escalating now.

Oh no don’t be sorry I love answering questions! Fill my inbox honestly I love it!

I am doing great thanks! Hope you are too! ☺️