#i think it’s a relief to finally see that represented

[sokkabackbender2021]

honestly i think it’s so gross how many adults i have seen on this app upset that heartstopper is a show rather mild in its sexual content. it’s a show that’s target audience is young queer people….about young queer people……played by young queer people. the show is not “anti-sex” at all, if you actually watched the show charlie and nick discuss that they WANT to do more, that they want to “go further” some day. charlie has a boat load of trauma (including trauma about having his physical boundaries ignored) however and nick is still processing his sexuality, so why are you pushing for them to be intimate?? i’ve known people who have dated for years and didn’t actually have sex until they were adults and mature enough to do so.

viewing this show as a adult woman i find it honestly disturbing that there is this fixation on the necessity of sexual content including children. because that is who these characters are. children.

the show does not bash sex (uhh the teachers very clearly banged??), it merely advises against forcing yourself to be sexual before you are ready. the queer community has always been demonized as a “hypersexual” group of people, but that is merely a label forced upon us. heartstopper is the one of the only queer pieces of media that defies this expectation, and tells queer kids everywhere that it’s ok to take your time, and that sex is not the end all be all.

[bettyfrommars]

Whole Lotta Love

Eddie x fem!Reader

18+MDNI, oral (f!receiving), fingering, unprotected piv, creampie, pet names like baby and sweetheart, both Eddie and reader are over 20.

I received a request for a fic where, no matter how hard he tries, Eddie can't make you cum, and I was happy to do it because it's a much more common situation than how it's represented in most media. I'm not sure this is exactly what they were looking for, but it was a very fun thing to write. This Eddie had me giggling.

a/n: I wasn't sure I would finish this wip after I wrote the first two lines, but then I was in the mood yesterday and smashed it out. It was a very quick write, definitely not my opus, but a true joy, all the same. I hope you like.

wc: 3.1k

Eddie flopped onto his back, huffing out a satisfied breath. “That was so good,” he hummed. 

The fingers of one hand drew a lazy circle on his bare chest as it rose and fell, while his other hand scrambled over to capture yours.  

Shifting his gaze, he caught you staring at the ceiling, unblinking.  “Was that…did you…?”

“Um,” you paused.  It wasn’t that you were afraid to be truthful with him, but the fact that orgasms weren’t flying out of you at the same rate made you feel inadequate, like maybe you were the problem. 

He propped up on his forearm, searching your face, brow creased with concern.  “Did I hurt you or…?”

“No, no,” you rolled over, pulling the sheet up over your hips.  “It felt great.”

At that, he gave an actual sigh of relief.

“But, I didn’t cum.  Or at least, I don’t think I did.”

“You’re not sure?” 

You chewed at your top lip.  “No, I am sure.  I didn’t.”

He traced a few hearts on your shoulder with the tip of his calloused finger.  “Have you ever? With me?”

Your silence spoke volumes, and Eddie’s mind raced to all of the times you’d been intimate in the past few weeks since you’d been together.  He blamed himself for being too eager and sloppy, and shit—he was so crazy about you, it made him dizzy.  He couldn’t believe you let him touch you, let alone cum inside.  

His head snapped up.  “But what about that time I went down on you in the closet at Robin’s party? I swear I felt you—”

“I was close that time,” you admitted, remembering how your legs shook and that heat began to build, in the same way it did when you pleasured yourself.  “But then Gareth was shouting, looking for you and it went away.”

“Fucking Gareth,” he mumbled. “You were close then, okay.  Can I try that again? Now?”

He was already moving down the bed, palming the crook of your knee to slide your leg open.

You put your hand on his head, glancing over at the digital alarm clock.  “Not now, silly, I have to get ready for work.”

You wrapped the sheet around you and got to your feet, leaving Eddie to stare into space, alone with his tortured thoughts.  “Come over tonight?” He yelled while you were in the bathroom. “Wayne leaves for work at 6, we’ll have the place to ourselves.”

“I’ll come over,” you said with your mouth around a toothbrush.  You spat into the sink and then, “But I might be too tired for…other stuff,” your words were met with nothing but silence from the next room.  “We can watch a movie or something?”

Eddie appeared sullen in the doorway next to you in his checkered blue and white boxers. “Do you not want to have sex with me anymore?”

“No, baby I do!” You assured him, eyebrows high on your forehead.  You cupped some water into your mouth and spat it out while he ran his knuckle down your arm. “I really really want to, I just don’t want us to force this.  It’s okay if I don’t have an orgasm every single time.”

“Yeah but it’s not okay with me,” he muttered. 

You turned and planted kisses down his throat, dotting smooches along his collarbone, and then the final peck was on his pouty mouth. You rubbed the tip of your nose against his, “I’ll see you tonight.  I love you.”

—------

You parked on the other side of Eddie's van at the trailer that night and assessed the windows curiously.  At a glance, it looked like the living room had caught fire from the amount of candles that were lit. The song Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin poured out into the soft yellow light of the porch, and you knocked.  

A few raps of your knuckles were met with a loud curse and something like a metal pot crashed to the floor in the kitchen.  No one came to the door, so you entered with caution, and your senses were greeted with the smell of something burning in the oven.

Eddie was by the sink and he spun around with a startled look, wiping his hands down his jeans. He wore a Slayer shirt with the sleeves ripped off, and his feet were bare, letting you see the black toe nail polish you’d delicately painted on a few days earlier.  

“What’s with all this?” You blinked a few times, marveling at how tidy it was.  But also, there were at least 15 mismatched candles ablaze on the side table, the top of the tv, and the counter. 

He wiped his mouth and went over to greet you.   “I just wanted to set the mood,” he grinned, grabbing onto your hips to pull you close. “I read somewhere that the atmosphere can help with, you know.”

“You read somewhere?”

“Just one of those magazines at the grocery checkout.”

“I missed you,” he smiled against your mouth as you said it.  His warm skin smelled spicy and sweet, like he’d recently showered and put on cologne. The yearning you felt for him was all-consuming.  A few hours apart weighed on you like an eternity.  You tilted your head to deepen the kiss, and already your loins were giving you the nod like, “yep, we need to have him inside of us.”  You absolutely craved him on a sexual level, so why was it so hard to find your climax?  It seemed to come easy for everyone else in the world: everybody at the party was cumming but you.  

Eddie was nervous.  He hadn’t felt that out of his mind since the day he confessed he had feelings for you, but if you didn’t feel the same that would be cool, because he didn’t want to fuck up the friendship: you were too precious to him.  Your presence in his life made him feel sane and loved and seen in a way he’d rarely experienced in his life, if ever.  A miracle happened that day, and you’d flown into his arms, asking him what took him so long.

But what kind of boyfriend would he be if he couldn’t please you? In every way?

You watched a sitcom while you ate dinner on TV trays, and when you came back from using the restroom, he had everything put away, dishes thrown in the sink, and he was sitting very propper at the end of the couch, watching you expectantly.  

“Are you, um,” he cleared his throat.  “How are you feeling?”

This was weird, he thought. He was making it weird.  He needed to loosen up and not be so hyper focused on his mission.  Maybe you were tired, maybe you needed to let your spaghetti and burnt french bread settle.  

You straddled his lap, brushing hair away so that you could kiss his forehead. 

“I think I’m ready to try again,” you whispered, and then you ducked down to nibble his earlobe.  “Unless you’d rather stay here and—”

Before you could finish the thought, he was up and the two of you were moving out of the room and down the hall, kissing and fumbling with clothes as you went.  

“I’ve been thinking about this all day,” he nipped your jaw and side of your neck, banging the bedroom door open with the side of his fist. “I hate being away from you.”

There were a few candles around the bed too; on his nightstand, and a red one dripped wax from the window sill down the wall.  

You stopped abruptly, staring at the bed.  “Are those…rose petals?” 

“Tulips, actually,” he rushed to the scene and swiped the soft pink curls away with his arm. “That was stupid, I just thought it would be—”

You caught his mouth with yours, tongues lashing at each other in such an erotic way that a small moan escaped him. 

He wondered if that night would be the night he came in his jeans.

He wasn’t going to let himself cum before you, that was the plan.  He’d jerked off shortly before you’d arrived, but that didn’t mean shit because he was absolutely ready again.  

Suck it up, Munson.

All was off but for your underwear and while Eddie licked greedily at one of your nipples, you reached down to undo his button fly.  “Release the beast,” you cooed.  

He caught your wrist.  “Not just yet, I can’t, I mean, I want this to be about you.”

“I need an even playing field if I’m going to be relaxed enough to…you know.”

He couldn’t get his pants off fast enough at the urging of your hand that was quick to breach the waistband of his boxers to stroke him. He was rock hard and the tip was already weeping, needy for you.  

“Is this all for me?” You ran your thumb in circles over the tip.

Eddie tensed and huffed out a breath that fanned the hair away from his face.  “Fuck, baby, every inch.”

If he wasn’t sharp, he’d cum right there on the spot.

You bounced when your body hit the bed, and Eddie dropped to his knees between your legs.  The visible wetness on your panties were taking a toll on his already fragile state.  He wasn’t patient enough to take them off of you, he just put his mouth right on the material, nuzzling at your pussy through the fabric in a way that pulled a few sharp gasps out of you.  

“I missed her so much,” he pulled back the final barrier with one finger, licking a few times on your swollen lips, and then cursed.  “You’re so wet already.”

“Well, that’s what you do to me,” you propped up on your elbows to look down at him, sucking in your bottom lip at the sensation of his breath on you.

He slid your underwear off the rest of the way, trying to recall what he’d read in that Playboy article he read a while back? Something about writing out the alphabet, and the woman you are with won’t make it to “x” without cumming.

“How does this feel?” His tongue rolled along your folds in a way that made you wonder what he was doing.  He lost track of the letters at around “M”, hips bucking into the side of the bed, cock pulsing so hard, he had to reach down and take some of the pressure off.  

“G-good,” you gasped.  “Just like that but then, up a bit higher.”

You weren’t exactly an expert when it came to your own pleasure, either, you only knew what felt good when you touched yourself.  If Eddie made you cum, it would be the first time you ever experienced that with another person.  You wondered if you should tell him that.  

He followed your instructions, swallowing while he consumed you, until he found the tiny pearl treasure at the top and your grip tightened on him.

“Hmm I think I found it. Hey there pretty baby,” he murmured into your cunt rolling his tongue around the spot. 

“Yesyesyes, right thereeeee Eddieeee.”

The pressure and the speed was perfect and your hand went to his head for encouragement, but then he slowed down and moved locations, licking up the arousal that dripped down  your slit.

“Baby? Could you go back to that thing you were doing a second ago?”

He compiled without a word, trying to find the same pacing again, but the moment was gone. 

“Eddie—” you spread your legs wider as an invitation. “I really need you inside of me now.”

Well, he wanted that more than anything.  But one pump and it would be all over for his dignity.  His eyes were rolling back, seeing cartoon stars just thinking about it.  

Truth? He wasn’t going to make it.  

You noticed his hesitation.  “We can keep trying…after.  But I need to feel you.  It’s lonely up here.”

“You’re so beautiful it hurts,” he crawled up onto the bed, kissing along your stomach, up between your breasts as he went, and then nuzzled at your neck.  “My dick can wait until—”

But he choked on his last words when you took hold of him and rubbed the tip of his length along your wetness.

“Sssshittt,” his whole body trembled. 

Sliding himself in, becoming one with you, made him emotional in a way he’d be embarrassed to share with anyone else. 

“I love you so much,” your voice came out as a cry when he sank halfway in, locking eyes with you.  The stretch made you squeeze around him, eliciting a whimper from so far back in his throat that he wondered if it came from somewhere else, some far off place. 

Once he started to move, he thought about that sweet little pearl and lifted up enough to put his thumb there and move it around.  Your head went back and  you exposed your throat to him.

Eddie grimaced at how close he was, fuck that—he had to slow down.  The way he was touching you, it was making you stiffen like you had when he was on his knees, and he was taking note of everything.

But then you started telling him how bad you needed him to cum, to fill you up, to make you his.  He tried to hold out but then his eyes locked onto yours when you told him you loved him again and he couldn’t stop the wave once it started, no matter how hard he clenched his jaw and his buttcheeks.

One long babble came out of him as his thrusts got sloppy.  “Oh fuck I love you so much I’m cumming so hard, I’m…I’m…holy shit I love you.”

He didn’t ask if you had come that time, because he knew better.

After he caught his breath, he pulled you with him, twisting onto his side, slipping two fingers where his cock had been.  “What if I push all of this cum back inside so it will stay there? Hmm?”

You moaned against his mouth, grabbing a fistful of his hair.  “That feels good, keep doing that.”

“You like that?” He asked, just to be certain.

You nodded, and then, your hand slotted down between your bodies and his arousal spiked when he realized you were touching yourself.  

He curled his fingers to feel that soft, spongy spot, asking how fast you wanted it.

You couldn’t speak, your concentration was intense, eyes screwed shut. 

Oh sure, he was getting hard again.  The feel of his warm spend in your tight hole was doing nothing for his resolve.  

You clenched around him, and then he was whispering, “let me try again,” as he kept his digits buried and made his way down between your thighs.

His mouth had no trouble finding the treasure that time; it practically peeked up at him, begging for a resolution.  He relaxed his shoulders, breathed in the musk of your arousal, and took you into his mouth with a vibrating groan.

“Right there!” You hadn’t meant to scream it, but it was an actual eureka moment.  “Oh fuck Eddie, don’t stop…keep doing…keep doing that.”

He hadn’t moved his fingers in a while, but when he tried to incorporate that into the mix, you stopped him.  “Keep them still,” you held his head, locking him in place—not that there was anywhere else he wanted to be.  “Don’t move your hand just…Ahh yes yes…”

Your jaw went slack in a silent scream, but then his pace quickened, and before you knew what was happening, the blinding white wave crashed through you, rolling through your limbs like satin electricity, making you whine an extended, “cummingcummingcumming,” while you clung to his hair so you wouldn’t fall off the earth. 

Eddie was astonished to learn that could feel it happening.  The juicy walls around his fingers spasmed, fluttering like tight ripples, and he drove his tongue in eager circles, wondering if he could make you cum twice in one go.  Was that even possible? His heart all but flew out of his chest, it was beating so fast, and he moaned long and hard.

But after a bit, you were trying to push his mouth away.  “Wait wait, now it’s sensitive,” but he was so determined, he didn’t pull off until you physically lifted his head.  

He stared up at you, licking his wet, swollen lips.  

You were breathless, letting the final bits of glitter swim through your veins.  “That was—”

He kissed your cunt one two three times.  “That was what?”

He was grinning now, feeling like he’d just won the lottery, or at least a new car. The sense of satisfaction was officially unmatched.

He made his way up the bed to hold you, but you surprised him by taking his fingers into your mouth to suck them clean, dragging teeth along his flesh.  

“I’ve never cum that way with anyone else before,” you said in a whisper, but when he finally registered the weight of the words, his eyes widened.

“My sweetheart,” he pulled you flush against him, giddy, holding your face to brush his lips over yours. “I’m really your first?”

You gave his shoulder a teasing love bite. “And my last.”

“Oh nowww you’re in trouble,” he rolled on top of you, interlacing his fingers with yours to brace your hands above your head, and then he went to work munching at the side of your throat, growling as he did so.  

You screamed and giggled, realizing he was hard again as it nudged at your hip. “I see you’re ready for battle again.”

“I was born ready, baby,” he straightened to see your face. “You want to try a new position? I was reading this—”

The front door to the trailer burst open.

“What the hell? Edward? You tryin’ to burn the place down?”

It was Wayne.

Shit shit shit shit it was Wayne!

Home hours early from work, for whatever reason.

The door to the bedroom was wide open and his heavy footfalls were rapidly approaching from the hall.

Eddie threw the sheet up over you, and a few tulip petals fluttered to your face.  “I’ll be right there!” He shouted, trying to jump into his jeans. He missed a leg hole and stumbled back onto the mattress, making you snort out a laugh. 

He got to the door just in time to greet his Uncle, blocking any view of the room, buttoning his pants as he stood there.  

You could hear Wayne’s voice change. “Is, ah, is your girlfriend here? Sorry, I didn’t see her car.”

“No that’s cool, we were just—” and then he maneuvered him out into the hall, shutting the door behind him.

You lifted up to listen to their murmuring voices, and then Wayne asked, “why is there wax all over the carpet? Blow these fuckers out before the curtains catch fire.”

You had to bury your face in the pillow to muffle your laughter.  

[sflow-er]

So many thoughts on the fabulous Barbie film, but especially on how anyone who thinks it’s “hateful towards men” clearly isn’t getting the message.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

[Credit for both gifs goes to their makers!!]

I mean... Ken’s arc is secondary to Barbie’s, and rightly so. This is her film, and her message deserves to be the main takeaway.

That being said, I just find it really sad that the people who could’ve definitely used the point of Ken’s arc just let it go right over their heads. Maybe it’s because they aren’t great at reading subtext, or because they just balk at anything presented as feminist, I don’t know.

Because to me, Ken’s arc is about as far from “hateful towards men” as you can get. It’s a multi-layered depiction of how restrictive, outdated views of masculinity can hold men back and make them susceptible to harmful ideologies that promise easy solutions for all their problems but only make those problems worse and hurt others around them.

The first layer is an allegory for real men don’t show their feelings. In the movie, this is represented by Ken’s need to look tough and cool all the time, and to keep his insecurities and sadness bottled up. Barbieland is a utopia where being happy is a social norm, and the main Barbie also starts to struggle with that. The difference is that she eventually tells her friends, and they all support her. Ken just puts pressure on himself not to look weak - in front of Barbie, or in front of the other Kens.

Which brings us to the second level: a competitive and inherently hostile view of the other Kens, aka. toxic male relationships. Some of them are friends, and all of them work together for a while to build the Patriarchy, but they don’t actually bond for real. Even their boys’ nights are mainly about getting back at the Barbies for all their girls’ nights (which really were about bonding). When push comes to shove, the Kens still see each other as competition, which is one of the reasons why the Barbies are able to play them against each other.

Another reason is the third layer: the idea that Ken only has value if Barbie loves and admires him. It starts out as unrequited love that makes you feel sorry for him...until he turns bitter. He basically starts on the path that could lead him down the incel/mra rabbit hole and into a mindset where Barbie owes him love and admiration and the relationship he wants in exchange for his devotion to her. He decides that everything would be better if Barbies were subservient to Kens, but of course that’s not true. None of the Barbies’ newfound admiration for their Kens is real, and his own Barbie still rejects him.

All this is of course underpinned by the final layer, which is Ken’s lack of self-respect and sense of purpose. He’s got a pointless job, he’s not particularly qualified for anything, and he just feels kind of lost in Barbieland - a society run by successful Barbies who are living up to their full potential. That’s why he gets so caught up in the idea of the Patriarchy, which is supposed to make him successful, get others to respect him, and give him a sense of purpose. (This can be generalised to all kinds of harmful ideologies in the real world, e.g. the alt-right movement.)

However, the success he achieves is superficial and not based on any real passion; he even admits that he wasn’t happy in his new position and already lost interest in the ideology. The (forced) respect of others does feel good for a while, but it only goes so far. At heart, the whole thing is still mostly about his feelings of inferiority and unrequited love for Barbie, and instituting this harmful new system did not resolve those for him.

So what does? In essence, breaking out of all these harmful patterns and internalising the idea that he is enough.

He ends up reflecting on his feelings, finally puts them to words (or rather, song and dance), and manages to connect with the other Kens through those feelings. He even cries in relief and acknowledges that it doesn’t make him weak. He and Barbie finally have a proper talk, he lets go of their (non-)relationship, and he listens when she says he needs to figure out his real self. He starts to see himself not through his job, his girlfriend, or even his competition with the other Kens, but as just Ken, who is enough.

I honestly can’t think of a less hateful message to send men and boys.

[yournowheregirl]

Let it be known that Eddie Munson hates big box stores. They represent everything he’s against: a big piece of capitalist bullshit that underpays its workers and pump out unnecessary products like it’s nothing. 

And yet, he finds himself in a Target on a random Sunday evening.

He’s not quite sure how he got roped into doing Chrissy’s shopping for her, something about ‘owing her a favor’ and ‘making up for all the times she had take out the garbage when it was his turn to do so’ or whatever that means. But here he is anyway, pushing a bright red shopping cart in search of every item on her list so she can go on her date with that girl from the concert in peace. The things you do for friends.

Eddie finds the first few items quite easily - they’re on sale and easy to spot with the big display in the middle of the aisle - but once he gets to the fourth item on her list: Fresh Cotton scented candle, he starts to panic just a little.

Why are there so many fucking candles?

He rubs a hand over his face in attempt to make himself focus on the rows and rows of glass jars in front of him, taking a deep breath before he starts looking for the Fresh Cotton scented candle Chrissy wants. Only to find out, there aren’t any.

There is Pure Linen and Natural Cotton and even one that’s called Laundry Day - whatever the fuck that’s supposed to smell like - but there is not one candle that says Fresh Cotton. 

Okay. Okay. He can do this. He knows Chrissy like the back of his hand, he’s smelled that candle practically every day, he can totally figure out which candle she wants. 

Eddie grabs the first candle that’s vaguely named after a fabric and smells it, but that one isn’t the one he’s looking for. He tries another (closer, but not quite the same) and another (doesn’t even smell like cotton in the slightest), until he’s smelled practically every cotton-linen-laundry candle in the store and his nose has become immune to any smell whatsoever.

Christ, he really is a terrible best friend if he can’t even get her shopping list right.

Something red flashes by in the corner of his eye and Eddie immediately perks up and chases after it. He stops himself from screaming in victory when he sees that he was right and that there is in fact a Target employee in a red polo walking in the main aisle.

“Excuse me!” Eddie calls out. “Excuse me! Can you help me?”

The guy in the red polo turns around and whoa- Eddie didn’t know that they were hiring actual models to work at Target. He’s pretty sure he’s never met a big box store employee that looks this good - with floppy golden brown hair and a chest that fills out that red Target polo really nicely.

“Uh yes?”

“Great!” Eddie gestures the Target guy to follow him back to the candle aisle and grabs the two candles that he thinks are the closest to what Chrissy wants. “Which one of these is Fresh Cotton?”

Target guy frowns and takes the candles from Eddie’s hands, his hazel eyes narrowing as he reads the labels. “Neither? This one is Clean Cotton and the other one is Crisp Cotton.”

“Yes, yes, I know. But Target used to sell Fresh Cotton, I think, at least that’s what my friend’s shopping list says.” Eddie rambles. “So I guess my question is which one used to be Fresh Cotton and got renamed or whatever.”

“Huh.” Target guy shrugs and takes the lid off both the candles, carefully sniffing each of them before finally handing Clean Cotton back to Eddie. “This one smells the most cotton-y to me, so I’d go with this one, dude.”

Eddie feels his eyes light up with relief as he clutches the candle to his chest. “Christ, that’s a relief. Thank you...” He trails off, searching Target guy’s polo for a name tag, only to come up empty.

“Steve.” 

“Thank you, Steve.” Eddie beams. He puts the candle into his shopping cart and rummages through the pocket of his leather jacket until he finds Chrissy’s shopping list. Scented candle? Check. “Look, I gotta go. I have at least twenty other things on this list and- hey!”

In one quick motion, Steve has grabbed the shopping list from Eddie’s hands, scanning the items on the list and the items in the cart with precision. 

“Dude. Your friend asked for shampoo and conditioner. You bought them that two-in-one crap.” Steve scoffs.

“Is that... bad? Seems to me like it gets the job done faster.” Eddie shrugs.

“Is that bad, he asks. If your friend cares just a little bit about their hair, they’d be devastated.” Steve chuckles. “C’mere, I’ll help you.”

Before Eddie can even protest, Steve has taken his shopping cart from under his nose and gestures for Eddie to follow him. Huh, personal shoppers must be a new thing at Target. He just hopes that Steve doesn’t charge him a surprise hundred dollar fee at the end of the shopping trip.

Turns out, a personal shopper like Steve comes in handy for a Target virgin like Eddie. Steve (obviously) knows the store like the back of his hand and seems to know a lot about the products they sell as well - from the difference between normal and purple shampoo for blonde hair to the package of colored notebooks that Chrissy needs for the next semester. His knowledge is impressive and Eddie can’t help but stare and listen to every word that rolls of Target Guy Steve’s tongue.

(And if he lets a flirty remark or two slip just to see a twinkle in Steve’s eyes in between the shop talk, that’s nobody’s business but his own)

He is a bit confused when Steve starts loading things into the cart that aren’t on Chrissy’s lists, though. Things like highlighters and staples and various arts and crafts supplies. 

“What are those?” Eddie asks.

“Hmm?” Steve hums, following Eddie’s gaze to where it’s looking at the small pots of paint in his hands “Oh. Those are for me.”

“You can do that?”

“Uh yeah? That’s the point of a store?”

“Right.” Eddie nods. “Yeah, I mean, duh. Just didn’t know you were allowed to shop on company time.” 

“Right...” Steve blinks at him in response.

They go through the rest of the list fairly quickly, much to Eddie’s disappointment. When he first set foot inside the store, he wanted to leave as fast as he could, but now that he’s got Steve around, he doesn’t really want this shopping trip to end. 

At least not without Steve’s number saved in his phone. 

There are only a few people in line at the register when they arrive and Steve immediately starts putting his things on the checkout belt. As he waits, Eddie lets his eyes linger at Steve’s toned back, at the way the red fabric stretches over the muscles there, at the way those jeans look practically painted on.

Yeah, he really has to get that number before he gets out of here.

“You probably get employee discount, right? Must be nice.” Eddie grins as he starts putting his stuff on the checkout belt.

Steve cocks his head to the side. “No?”

Christ, not giving your employees a discount in your own store is a new low, even for a big company like Target. “Oh sorry, man. That sucks.”

“I mean, I have my teacher’s discount.” Steve shrugs.

Hold up. What?

“Your what?”

“My teacher’s discount?” Steve repeats. “I’m an elementary school teacher and I get a small discount on stuff I need for my class? Like these art supplies?”

“You- you don’t work here?” Eddie squeaks, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. Oh God, did he just drag a random stranger through a store and make him listen to all of his stupid problems with Chrissy’s shopping lists? This is embarrassing, even for him. “Fuck, I thought- I mean with the polo and- Christ, I’m so sorry.”

But luckily for Eddie, Steve doesn’t seem mad in the slightest. In fact, he just laughs, all bright and clear. “It’s alright, really.”

“But wait, if you don’t work here, why did you help me?” Eddie asks, ignoring the hopeful feeling that starts to bloom in his stomach. 

Steve ducks his head for a second, suppressing a grin, before looking back up at Eddie through his eyelashes and fuck, he has no right to look this hot in a freaking polo shirt. 

“Because I thought you were cute.”

A bright Target red blush settles over Eddie’s cheeks and there’s nowhere to hide, not even behind his hair because his dumb self from two hours earlier decided to put it up in a high bun. 

“Plus, you looked like you were this close to having a panic attack in the middle of the candle aisle.” Steve shrugs. “I’ve been there, and trust me, it’s not a good look.”

The honesty in his voice makes Eddie cackle so loud that even the cashier turns her head to see what all the commotion is about. 

“You’re ridiculous.” Eddie says when his laughter dies down.

“Maybe.” Steve says, his eyes already twinkling with amusement. “But did it work?”

Eddie really can’t say no to that.

(He leaves Target that night with two shopping bags filled with Chrissy’s things and a date with Steve the next weekend.)

[mysaintkitten]

smut with cillian murphy at the golden globes? am i crazy?

Claim Your Prize | Cillian Murphy x fem!reader

!!disclaimer!! this fic does Not represent Cillian as a person, we love and support Yvonne here. this is simply for fun/fantasy! :3

WARNINGS: SMUT (MINORS DNI), public-ish sex, mirrors are involved, kind of sweet sex i think lol, creampie (of course)

“And the award goes to …”

A moment of silence and anticipation fills the room as the announcers carefully pry open the envelop containing the winners name. Beneath the table, you anxiously grab Cillian’s hand. He squeezes it gently in response.

“Cillian Murphy!”

As soon as his name escapes their lips, a wave of relief and appreciation crash over you. Finally, the most hardworking man you know is getting the admiration he deserves.

The people around you clap and cheer, and before Cillian heads up to accept his award you give him a quick hug and a kiss. A brief glimpse into the intimacy the two of you regularly share, yet are never public about it.

It then all becomes a beautiful, hectic blur. As cillian stands in front of everyone accepting his award, he seems to find all the right words to say, and all the right ways to say it. All you can do is stand back and watch him, giving him your utmost respect as he gives his thanks.

When his speech is over and the announcers move on to the next category, you get up from your table to meet Cillian half way. Since the rooms so tightly packed, the best route along the outer edges. As soon as he makes you out in the crowd he smiles happily at you, his eyes beaming with energy and gratitude.

Once you’re face to face, he hugs you again, tighter, finally getting a chance to hold you like he’d initially wanted to when they first announce his win.

Whilst getting ready earlier, you couldn’t help but brainstorm different ways to “reward” Cillian if he won. He isn’t very materialistic, and you knew that the only thing he truly wanted from you was your support, to stand by him whether he won or lost.

But you wanted more, you had to give him something you knew he needed after all these gruelling months of seemingly endless work.

So, after slipping into your dress for the event, you slipped off your panties directly after. Wanting Cillian to have as easy access as possible if he wins.

And now you’re here, wearing no panties underneath your dress, while hugging your winner of a husband.

“I’m so proud of you,” you whisper softly in his ear, turning your head a bit more to give him a kiss on the cheek, “so proud.”

He hums back, briefly nuzzling into your kisses before copying your gestures and kissing you on the cheek, leaving small quick pecks until he ended up back at your lips where he kissed you properly.

The kiss is passionate, warm, not yet sexual but you knew how easily it could fall into that territory.

“I have a gift for you,” you purr in his ear before dragging your fingers along his back, planting a small kiss on his neck and then pulling away.

“What is it?” Cillian asks, earnestly curious, he looks down for a moment but quickly realizes you aren’t carrying anything with you. With a mischievous grin, you grab his hand and lead him away to a private area. You’re able to sneak away quite easily, everyone else is much too fixated on the next winner anyway.

The hallways are vacant for the most part, a few scattered workers here and there, but all you’re thinking about is getting Cillian alone.

Whilst roaming the halls, you spot the bathroom. A unisex, single bathroom. Although it’s not ideal, it’s the best you’ll find in a place like this. Once Cillian sees where you’re heading, it doesn’t take long for him to figure out what your “gift” may entail.

After taking one more good look around, you decide the coast is clear enough and you both sneak into the bathroom before promptly locking the door.

It’s nothing special. A toilet, a sink, a mirror, what you’d normally expect to find in a bathroom. Luckily for you, the room had clearly just been cleaned. The counters and mirrors were spotless, and it smelt faintly of lemon and fresh laundry.

You swiftly turn around to face Cillian, placing your hands on the counter behind you, that sneaky little grin still spread across your lips.

With an equally naughty smile, Cillian presses his body against yours, him too placing his hands on the counter.

“So, what kind of gift does my lovely wife have in mind?” Cillian teases, kissing you gently on the lips, his voice lowers before he speaks again. “One that we need to be all alone for …”

The warmth between your legs intensifies, and the pressure of his body alone is enough to make your brain fuzzy. You drape your arms around his neck, briefly running your fingers through his hair.

“Just wanted to give you a little something that I know you’ve been missing,” you coo innocently, “something that you deserve after all this long …”

You pause for effect,

“And hard …” your voice becomes breathier as bring an arm down off his neck and snake it between your bodies, your grasp landing between his legs to palm him through his trousers, “work.”

Cillian growls, deeply inhaling your sweet and comforting smell, “you don’t know how much I’ve missed this.”

Quickly, Cillian turns you around, your hips now against the edge of the counter top. And now, you’re met with your own reflection. Both you and Cill with flushed cheeks and slightly messy hair, your makeup smeared around the edges of your lips while Cillian’s have a faint red-ish hue from your lipstick.

“I’ve missed this, too,” you sigh as your arousal stirs within you, at this point you don’t doubt that your wetness has made its way to your inner thighs. “I’m so proud of you, baby.”

“S’all thanks to you, really …” Cillian groans against your neck, kissing the skin hungrily. “You’re the only thing that’s kept me fuckin’ sane throughout all of this.”

“Cill …” you giggle at his sweet words, your fingers carding through his hair while he stands behind you, his grip on your hips tightens and you feel him roll his hips against your ass. His warm bulge just begging to be freed.

“Honest,” he defends, “while I was on set, or late at night when I couldn’t sleep, the only thing that brought me peace was you.”

Despite how sweet Cillian’s being, you didn’t take him in here to some exchange kind words or swap some spit.

“You’ve got me here now,” you make eye contact in the mirror, his pupils blown and swimming with lust, “claim your prize.”

The palms of his run along your stomach, his head dipping down to place a kiss onto your neck before bringing his eyes back up to your reflection. Those same palms find your hips, gently gripping the soft skin before sliding his hands down further around your thighs.

He begins to grab at the material hanging down your legs, attempting to hike up your dress as best he can. You bite your lip and give him some assistance in pulling up the fabric, eager for him to see the little surprise you have for him.

Once your dress is lifted up enough, Cillian groans at the beauty in front of him. Your ass on clear display, no panties or tights obstructing his view.

“Were you like this the entire time?”

He watches you nod, a proud smile spread across your lips with your bottom lip still tucked between your teeth. With a smirk he shakes his head, quickly unzipping and unbuttoning his trousers. He pulls them down just enough to allow his cock to spring free, and you feel his hot member pressing against your ass.

Cillian dips a hand down between your legs from behind, trailing his middle finger along the slick seam of your pussy. He dips his finger in, moaning lowly at the warmth and wetness of your core.

“Jesus, baby. Missed my cock that badly, huh?”

You nod while watching him through the mirror, completely transfixed by the sensation of his body against yours along with Cillian’s effortless beauty and sex appeal. You’ve never had a partner that knew which buttons to press as well as Cillian, he could read you like a book.

A small sharp inhale is sucked from your lips when you feel the tip of his length teasing your pussy, smearing your arousal around before gently prodding at your opening.

“Look at yourself when I put it in.” Cillian purrs in your ear, sneaking a large hand up to your neck, gripping your neck and jaw and moving your head forward, forcing you to face your own pleasure.

Already you feel some small amounts of embarrassment, your cheeks are all flushed and your hairs all messy- how could you look so ruined already?

Before you can think too much, Cillian’s pushing his cock inside, slowly. You watch yourself as your mouth starts to hang open, and your brows pinch together. You feel his cock nearly splitting you open, giving you that oh so familiar sweet stretch that you’d been craving after all this time.

“You’ve gotten so fuckin’ tight …” Cillian groans from behind, his warm breath against your neck causing your body to shiver. “You missed getting filled up like this, sweetheart?”

You nod, panting heavily while barely being able to keep your eyes open. His hips roll back out before harshly snapping back in, forcing a pathetic whimper to slip from your lips.

“Yes, yes!” You moan, gripping the edge of the counter as Cillian’s grip on your jaw tightens. Your eyes crack back open and you see your own face again, the pure pleasure he’s giving you leaves you almost unrecognizable in your own eyes. “Missed y-you and your cock-k so much … love you so much …”

It wasn’t very common of either of you to say ‘I love you’ during sex. You’d say it regularly before and after the act, but during? Rarely happened. But since you’ve missed Cillian so much, and he’s been so busy, and now that all his hard work has paid off- it only felt right.

Well, that and the fact that you were already getting cock drunk off of him, your brain barely processing whatever words are coming from your mouth.

“Love you too, darling.” He breathes, kissing your neck while thrusting into you roughly, your hips pushing so harshly against the counter you’re certain it’ll leave a bruise. You don’t care. If anything, you want it to bruise. You want the physical reminder that your husband gave you a good, hard fucking after so many months of separation.

“Love your face, and how cute you look when you’ve got a cock inside you,” Cillian teases, nipping at the shell of your ear before kissing your neck again. “Love this pussy …”

“Fuck-“ you gasp, already feeling the knot in your stomach beginning to form. You really want to make this last, but it’s all been building up within you for far too long now.

“Love, love, love you, my sweet girl.”

“I-I- fuck-“ embarrassment pangs inside you, already too ruined to properly respond to him. Even though you hate it, you know Cillian adores it. While pounding into you, he feels your channel become slicker around him, the subtle sound of your wetness filling the room combined with some mewls and heavy breaths.

“C-Cill, gettin’ close-“ you warn, opening your eyes as best you can to see Cillian when you come. The hand that was gripping your jaw slides down your back, creeping over towards the front of your body where Cillian starts to rub quick circles onto your clit. His other hand digging into your hip.

“Come, baby. Please, missed seeing that pretty little face of yours come undone for me.” Cillian encourages with a growl, the mind-melting combination of pleasure had you tipping over the edge merely moments after.

Your orgasm hits you hard, the hardest you’ve come in months. You bite into your bottom lip roughly to try silence yourself. Your knees wobble, nearly giving out beneath you, but Cillian’s strong grasp on your hip keeps you up on your feet. While wincing from sensitivity, you push away the hand that was rubbing your clit, Cillian obliges.

“That’s it,” he groans, his own thrusts becoming sporadic and sloppy, “gonna come inside, baby.”

You nod and whine, the sensitivity and pleasure had your entire body vibrating.

“Please, please come inside. I need it.” You beg almost pathetically, wanting nothing more than to feel Cillian’s warm spend spilling out from inside you. He’s panting, cursing, sweating slightly, desperate to give you as much of his come as he can.

He bites down on your shoulder while keeping his hips flush against yours, his cock almost painfully deep inside you, you feel his cock twitch. His hot seed painting your silk walls, just like he’d been fantasizing about for all this time.

Once it starts to become too much, he slowly pulls himself out, only to lean his body forward while spreading your cheeks apart, attentively watching as some of his come trickles out of your pussy. He brings his middle finger up and gently shoves his come back in, earning a small whimper from you.

He leans back up and smacks your ass, making you gasp and giggle before letting the fabric of your dress fall back down to cover your legs.

Cillian turns you around and kisses you, sweetly and passionately.

“Thank you for the gift, my love.”

“This was just the first part, baby. The real gift comes when we get home.” You tease with a wink. You take the next few moments to clean yourself up and fix your appearance before heading back out to the event.

You spend the rest of that evening with Cillian’s come seeping out of you, a dirty little secret that only the two of you share.

—

this fic doesn’t really do it justice but I loooove in fics involving mirrors where the top or whoever’s in charge forces the other to look at themselves getting ruined :,( eat it up every time

[dotster001]

It makes me want to read something sad. For example, there is a celebration at the college, but Remshekle does not participate in it because it is not official. Crowley tells MC and Grim that they can't participate in the preparations for the holiday and come to it because they are banned. MC agrees, but is still upset. What happened next I can't think of, but I would like some angst. How will the dorm leaders react to this?

That's What Friends are For

A/N: Hopefully this is what you were looking for. I got some angst in there, but also comedy and a nice ending, even if it's not the expected ending. I'm not super good at solely angst 😂

3k follower Masterlist

"Due to budgeting constraints, we cannot allow unofficial dorms to participate in founder's day activities."

"Oh. Okay. I understand. That's fine. I get it."

"I appreciate your benevolence with this decision."

You stood up from your seat, and left Crowley's office.

You knew that you were living here for free, in an unofficial dorm, nonetheless, so really that you could even be allowed to attend the festival at all was generous in itself. But your friends had been going on and on about the stuff they got to present, and the new costumes they would get to wear that represented the icon of their dorm.

You were honestly more upset that you'd have to tell Grim. He had been so excited to have a cool new outfit. His sad little face would just devastate you.

But you'd get through it. And maybe he'd understand. One day.

….

"Where is my child of man?" Malleus asked. He had finally been informed about a housewarden meeting, and was distraught that his favorite person seemed not to be present.

"Ramshackle is not participating in the founders day parade," The headmage said off hand as he continued to inspect the paperwork Azul had brought forth regarding the founders day buffet menu.

"Pardon?" Riddle seemed startled.

"With having to feed, house, and teach them on our dime, the Ramshackle budget, which was nearly non-existent as an unofficial dorm, is completely drained."

"But it's founders day. Ramshackle was there at the opening, wasn't it?" Leona said with a glare, sparking some widened eyes around the table.

"Yes, but-"

"You only have an 800th anniversary once!" Kalim burst out. "I can pay for their outfits and exhibits if I need to!"

"As could any one of us at this table. And everyone of us would without a second thought," Vil mused. "So I think something else must be going through that bird brain of yours."

Crowley stood from his place at the table, feathers clearly ruffled.

"How dare you insinuate anything less than benevolence on my part! I am simply trying to care for this school-"

"You didn't think about it, did you? Lmao," Idia's tablet cackled.

Crowley's jaw opened and closed a couple of times, before he said, "I am aware of the monetary situation of our housewarden, I just did not wish to infringe upon-"

"Damn, the turnip was right. You really didn't even think about it," Leona laughed.

"So we'll fund their part of the festival. What is our next topic?" Malleus sighed out in relief. He didn't want to even be part of this festival without you. The stares and whispers without your gentle reassurances would be overwhelming.

"No, no, the decision is final. Besides, Ramshackle doesn't have a known founder. Whoever they are was lost to time!" Crowley snapped, clearly embarrassed, and also very stubborn.

"-They can just dress in the Queen of Hearts' inspired attire-"

"-Obviously they will borrow clothing from my grandmother's collection.-"

"-They would look fetching in the fairest Queen's robes.-"

Three voices spoke up at once, and all three turned to glare at each other.

"See! This is why they can't participate! Ramshackle's participation will only sow dissent amongst you. Now let's move on!" Crowley cried, beginning to sweat from the rising hostility levels.

"Oh, shut it!" Leona snapped, before turning back to the housewardens. "It's obvious they'd look the best in an outfit designed after the king of beasts."

"Imagine how op they'd look designed after the god of the dead!" Idia mused behind the tablet, seemingly not realizing he hadn't muted himself.

"Probably not as "op" as if they looked like an octo mer," Azul hissed through a tight smile. "Imagine the radiance and brilliance of-"

"Both of you are gross," Vil snapped. 

"Why are they gross?" Kalim asked.

"Because they don't care about the festival, anymore. They just want to see Y/N in looks they find hot, and can slobber over" Leona grinned.

"Like your intentions are oh so pure!" Idia's tablet screeched.

The table erupted into shouts, the meeting long forgotten as Crowley curled up in a ball in his chair.

Meanwhile….

"We've all discussed it," Ace said as he sat on your bed. It seemed he was the appointed spokesperson of the first year crew.

"We aren't going to let the two of you wallow in despair while we have fun. So we aren't going to have fun either," he said with his signature grin splitting his face.

"None of us are going to participate in the festival!" Ortho interrupted, clearly too excited to wait for Ace to be dramatic.

"Damn it, Ortho! I was supposed to say it!" Ace pouted.

"Language! He's a child!" Sebek hissed.

"He's in advanced potionomics with the third years. He'll be fine," Epel rolled his eyes. 

"But you were all so excited to participate," you said, covering Grim's mouth to keep him from immediately agreeing to their thought process without a second thought.

"It's not fun without you," Jack muttered, looking anywhere but you.

"Look, like it or not, you've woven yourselves so tightly into our lives that we wouldn't enjoy ourselves if you weren't a part of it!" Deuce stated factually, his cheeks turning red as he realized what he said.

"So, like they all said, we aren't going to wear any cool costumes, or work at an exhibit, or eat at an all you can eat buffet-"

"IT'S ALL YOU CAN EAT?" Grim screamed.

"Because we're gonna boycott the whole thing and have fun doing something else," Ace finished with a glare.

"Forget it Y/N. Forget them!" Grim cupped your face with his paws, looking earnestly into your eyes. "There's an all you can eat buffet! I don't need a fancy costume! Let's go to the buffet!"

You gently shifted Grim to your lap, and scratched his ears. "You guys, I don't know what to say. That's so sweet of all of you!"

"Yeah, we're pretty cool," Epel grinned.

"Buffet…" Grim sadly trailed off, knowing he'd lost.

"And we can find even cooler outfits while we're out!" Ortho cheered, excitement clear as he buzzed quickly around the room. 

"Honestly, it was less about the outfits, and more about feeling left out," you said with a sad smile.

"We know," Ace grinned, playfully nudging you with his shoulder.

"It's alright, we can beat up Crowley so he lets you participate next year," Deuce grinned maniacally, wrapping an arm around your other shoulder as he sat next to you, nuzzling his head against yours when you set it on his shoulder.

"Besides, if I let my Liege's dearest friend be sad, what kind of knight would I be!" Sebek said with a grin.

"Dude, don't pretend this is just about Malleus. You totally were about to cry when you heard they were sad."

"NO I WASN'T!"

You giggled, watching as your idiot friends began to yell at one another. This was what you really would have been disappointed to miss. But luckily, thanks to how amazing they were, and how much they cared about you, you wouldn't have to miss it.

[cauliflowercounty]

In the Stands

Jamie Tartt x Reader

Summary:  Jamie x reader drabble for anon

“Can I request a Jamie Tartt fic based off this TikTok please?”

Warnings: Cussing but if you watch Ted Lasso idk why ur worried about that

Word Count : 1.1K

The Dog Track roars as the Richmond team walk out onto the field to play Tottenham Hotspur for the quarter final of this year’s FA Cup. Jamie surveys the crowd, a sea of red and blue alive with excitement, scarves and flags waving in the crisp air as the team huddles in a pre-game circle. The Richmond faithful's song swells and fills the air.

“We’re Richmond ‘till we die!  We’re Richmond ‘til we die! We know we are, We’re sure we are, We’re Richmond ‘til we die!”

As Isaac shouts out orders for warm up, Jamie can’t help but raise his gaze up to the private boxes. He looks up and smiles to himself, seeing you bundled up in your jacket and gloves next to Keeley, who’s whispering something into your ear.  You push up your Richmond beanie as it almost falls down over your eyes.  Rebecca steps down and takes a seat next to you, handing you and Keeley hot coffees.

Jamie had never expected to date a popstar, much less one that Keeley introduced him to. You’d come into his life unexpectedly. After getting rejected from Lust Conquers All and Man City, he thankfully was able to return to Richmond after Ted changed his mind, but the team had had a difficult time accepting his return. Despite being given the cold shoulder by the team, he still looked forward to coming to the club each day because you were there.

Keeley had brought you on for PR for the club.  She and Rebecca had decided you could write a song about Richmond, which would benefit both parties, and you had just returned to the UK after being away on a North American tour in support of your latest album.  

In order for you to get some inspiration for the song, Keeley and Rebecca asked Ted to let you observe training and attend games, so you could understand the essence and culture of the team, so the song would be truly representative of Richmond. Nate was originally very resistant to the idea, thinking that you would be a distraction to the team, Beard didn’t mind, and Roy was more or less apathetic to the idea, so you were brought onto the team. 

Once Jamie saw you, he knew you were different than anyone else he had known before.  You were creative like Keeley, but you had this air about you that put him at ease. You had shown every person in the club remarkable kindness and seemed genuinely happy to be there, but he had also seemed to catch your eye as well, but Jamie was unsure if that was real or just his imagination.

Overtime, you became universally loved by the whole Richmond team because of your warmth and humor. Day by day, the bond you had formed with the team got stronger and stronger as you traveled with them for matches, hung around the club, celebrated their wins, and mourned their losses. You were all close-knit, but your and Jamie’s relationship was different than the one you had everyone else.  

It all started two weeks after you arrived when you were singing in the locker room after you thought everyone was gone. You'd taken to songwriting after hours after everyone was gone in order to soak in the atmosphere of the club to spur your creative juices. He'd forgotten his phone yet again when he caught you singing to yourself, circling the locker room.

You were shocked to see him and had blushed in embarrassment that you were singing so loud when you weren't actually the only one left, but he had made it clear that you had nothing to be ashamed of.

"I think you sound great," he had said, which made you heave a sigh of relief. "Would you mind showing me more of what you have for the song?"

You obliged, and since that day, you and Jamie would hang back after training. You'd sing Jamie the melodies you were toying with, play your guitar, and run lyrics by him. Songwriting wasn’t ever something Jamie had shown interest in, but now that you were letting him in on the process, he had grown to enjoy it, especially since it was an excuse to spend some alone time with you.

Overtime, his inclination had blossomed into what felt like a boyhood crush. He desperately wanted to ask you out on a real date, but he was worried that you’d say no and that you’d never have another of your after hours songwriting sessions or that your friendship with Keeley would keep you from saying yes.  To his delight, you immediately said yes when he accidentally blurted out "could I take you for coffee sometime?"

Coffee turned to dinner, which turned into a budding romance. As soon as the team realized you were getting along with Jamie, they seemed more inclined to hear him out, and you even encouraged Jamie to apologize. Jamie was thankful that you had helped him bridge the rift between him and the rest of the team. Now you were all like one big, happy family and Richmond was on a win streak.

From the pitch, Jamie smiles in your direction and waves his hands high above his head to get your attention. He sees Keeley point his way, tapping your shoulder.  Your eyes dart to him and you immediately smile, seeing him grinning at you like a little kid.  The whole Richmond team lets out a series of “oohs” and slap Jamie on his shoulders when he makes a heart with his arms in your direction. You wave back to him, shouting “Good luck, Jamie!”

Some of the Tottenham players look over to the group of Richmond players and then up to the stands, trying to see what the commotion from their opponents is about.  Their kitman’s eyes raise as he nearly misses one of the players hands when he tries to hand him a water bottle.  

“No way!” the kitman gasps, his eyes wide.  

“What is it?” a player says, looking to the stands as well, finally seeing you waving at the Richmond gang.  “Oh shit!” The player goes to tap his teammate on the shoulder and points up at you from the field.

“Who’s the fuck's that?!” another says rather gruffly, which makes the entire Richmond team burst into laughter as the Tottenham players seemed completely taken aback at your presence, especially since you’re sporting Richmond gear of all things.  Jamie blows a kiss your way with a flourish, which makes you blush. You shake your head at his cheesiness.

You mouth “good luck! Go get ‘em” to Jamie, and he smiles in thanks to you, his heart swelling with confidence.  Ted calls the boys over for a few final words before the match starts and with your support, Jamie’s ready to go all out with his team today. 

--

Thanks for reading!

[glamaphonic]

when you're just living your life thinking that ed teach couldn't possibly ever become more babygirl

and then s2 starts and you are bowled over by the fact that you are the wrongest you've ever been

him telling frenchie that he's going to be an impossible bird and frenchie immediately responding that that doesn't seem like something that can exist but ed knows that

he knows and that's the point

the depression the manicness the all but begging someone, anyone, to kill him

him getting everything in order before sailing into the storm! the absolute relief when jim is about to kill him

and the fact that through it all, that desire to survive is still there, bcs he couldn't bring himself to do it himself

hornigold being there to represent everything ed hates about himself

and him finally going over the cliff because he thinks no one's waiting for him

(but he's wrong; stede is; stede always will be)

anyway character of all time. i love him sfm and cannot wait to see the rest of his journey this season.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Part Of Your World ~ p.p

chapter four: where the people are

pairing: Peter Parker x mermaid!reader

series masterlist

“Where are you going?”

Peter froze in his tracks when he heard Mays voice coming from the kitchen. He recognized that tone. That tone meant she was suspicious of something and usually, she was right to be. Peter walked back into the kitchen and put on an innocent smile.

“The bathroom. To tinkle.”

“Again? You were in there a long time before dinner.” May pointed out and rested her chin in her hands. Peter gulped, knowing that was her interrogation pose.

“I know. But I drank a lot of water during dinner.”

“Oh, I see. Why don’t you go in this one?” May asked and pointed to the hallway bathroom.

“You caught me.” Peter forced a laugh. “I have to deuce and I like to do it in the privacy of my own bathroom.”

“Hm.” May nodded, not sounding convinced.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just noticed that you’ve been spending a lot of time in the bathroom lately. A lot more than usual. But you’re always showering in the hall bathroom for some reason. Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“No.” Peter gulped and avoided eye contact. May raised an eyebrow and Peter caved.

“Fine. You caught me again. I’m re-grouting the tile in my shower and I can’t use it until the cement dries.” He lied as his eyes darted to the side.

“Re-grouting your shower?” She asked, not sounding amused.

“Oh, yes. All the kids are doing it these days. My current grout simply will not do.

“Uh huh. Well, I wouldn’t want to stop you.” May said and waved him on. Peter let out a sigh of relief and went to his bathroom.

“Can’t wait to see it when’s it’s done!” May called after him.

When Peter got to his bathroom, you were in his bathtub eating from a box of Goldfish.

“Is this what real fish tastes like? Because I finally understand fishing.” You said as Peter locked the door behind him.

“No, honey. That’s not what real fish tastes like. Not even a little.” Peter said and nervously paced the bathroom floor.

“Are you okay? You’re whiter than stripes on a clownfish.” You asked when you noticed Peters face.

“No. I’m not okay. I think May is getting suspicious.” Peter admitted.

“Why do you think that?”

“Because she just interrogated me about my bathroom habits and she hasn’t done that since we discovered I was lactose intolerant in the fifth grade.” Peter shouted in frustration.

“I’m sorry. I promise I was quiet. But I’ll do better. It won’t happen again.” You said and shrunk into yourself. Peter stopped pacing and knelt down beside you.

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s not your fault. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at the situation.” Peter assured you as cupped your face.

“But your voice got loud.” You said quietly.

“I know. I’m sorry. I won’t raise my voice around you again.” Peter promised you. You nodded your head and reluctantly believed him.

“Did your dad yell at you a lot?” Peter asked quietly. You looked wistfully at your tail and thought about all the resentment it represented for you. It looked just like your fathers, so you were reminded of him every time you looked down.

“I think our only conversations were him yelling while I stayed silent and pretended I was anywhere else.”

“He’s never gonna find you. You did exactly what he always told you you’d never be able to do. He’s gonna he miserable at the bottom of the ocean forever while you get to run this city.”

“What if the spell doesn’t work? You can’t keep me in this bathtub forever. What if I have to go back?” You whispered in fear. Peter didn’t know you’d been worrying about that and stroked your cheek with his thumb to comfort you.

“That’s not gonna happen. The spell is going to work. And if it doesn’t, I’ll build a huge swimming pool right here in my apartment.”

“Peter.” You laughed skeptically.

“I’m serious. I’ll flood the place. I’ll flood the whole building.” Peter insisted, making you laugh. He laughed as well and when your laughter died down, he leaned in for a long kiss. When he pulled away, he looked longing into your eyes.

“I’d do anything for you.” He promised you. Your expression changed and Peter saw something different in your eyes.

“Peter?” You said in a soft voice. His heart started to pound and he had a sneaking suspicion that you were about to tell him you loved him.

“Yes?”

“I ate your soap.”

“I feel the same way.” Peter sighed happily. “Wait, what?”

“I didn’t realize it wasn’t food at first. I thought it was candy.” You admitted as you handed him a bar of soap that was almost entirely eaten.

“You got this far into it before you realized it wasn’t food?” Peter asked in disbelief as he took the remaining chunk of soap from you.

“It tasted like blue.” You said simply.

“Your stomach is gonna be hurting you tonight.” Peter warned you. “Wait a second, how do mermaids go to the bathroom?”

“I’m in the bathroom right now, aren’t I? I got here because you carried me.”

“No like, how do you use the bathroom?”

“How would I use a bathroom? Use it for what?” You asked in confusion.

“Let me rephrase. Can you pee? Oh my God, do you pee out of your bellybutton?” Peter gasped and poked your bellybutton.

“No.” You laughed and moved his hand. “I have a cloaca, silly. Haven’t you ever wondered how mermaids reproduce?”

“Yes, but I was never gonna ask because it felt inappropriate.” Peter admitted.

“I’m your girlfriend. Nothings too inappropriate to ask. I’m curious about humans the same way you’re curious about mermaids. Besides, I like that you’re inquisitive. It makes me feel better about asking you everything.”

“You know the word “inquisitive” but I had to remind you the word for street?” Peter mumbled out of the corner of your mouth.

“Why are you still hung up on that?”

“Is just doesn’t make sense sometimes. You know so many words and then will ask me what the hand at the bottom of my leg with the tiny fingers is called.” Peter pointed out.

“Feet. I remember that one.” You said proudly.

“Okay, what’s this?” Peter tested you and held up a toothbrush.

“Doohickey.” You answered like it was obvious.

“Toothbrush.” He corrected.

“Why would you brush your teeth?” You scoffed. “They don’t even have hair.”

“I’ll drop it. I’m sorry.” He held up his hands in defense.

“Oh my gosh. Was that our first fight?” You smiled in excitement.

“No, honey. That wasn’t a fight.” Peter chuckled.

“Oh.” You frowned.

“You seem disappointed.”

“I just want to be like the humans. And I notice that they fight a lot. Especially at the beach. Like when the men forget the towels in the street boat.”

“That’s called a car. And yeah, humans do fight a lot, don’t they?” Peter chuckled. “But we won’t be like that. We won’t fight.”

“Oh. Okay.” You replied, seemingly slightly disappointed that you wouldn’t be like the humans.

“But if we ever did, I promise I want make my voice loud, okay? No more of that.” Peter assured you.

“Thank you.” You smiled gratefully.

“You’re welcome. Now, let’s get you some real food.”

“No thanks. I’m pretty full from the soap.” You said and handed him a second half eaten bar of soap.

“Oh God.” Peter groaned.

The next day at school, Peter could not stop looking at the clock. He had tuned out his professor before the class even started because all her could think about was the mermaid in his bathroom.

“What’s the matter? Your leg has been bouncing all day.” Ned leaned over and whispered.

“I’m fine. I just really need to get home.” Peter said as his eyes flicked to the clock again. The seconds seemed to be moving more like hours and he could hardly take it anymore.

“Why?” Ned wondered.

“I’ll explain it to you soon. It’s just a little hard to put into words right now.” Peter whispered back. He normally told Ned everything, but trying to explain the mermaid in his bathtub felt like a daunting task at the moment. Ned would definitely have a million questions and Peter didn’t have any answers quite yet. Finally, the professor ended class and Peter bolted home. He swung as fast as he could and crawled in through his bedroom window before opening his bathroom door.

“Honey, I’m home-“

“Hello.” May cut him off, making him freeze. All the color drained from Peters face as he surveyed the situation. May was standing with her arms crossed while you sat in the bathtub behind her with a pajama shirt of Mays on.

“Peter, what the fuck?” May said through eerily calm smile. “This doesn’t look like tile re-grouting to me.”

“Oh, hi May. How are you this fine Tuesday?” Peter smiled innocently as he began to sweat.

“Dear nephew, please enlighten me here as I seem to be a little confused. Am I tripping balls or is there a mermaid in your bathtub?”

“You’re tripping balls.” Peter said immediately.

“This looks delicious, thank you.” You said to no one in particular before opening a bottle of Peters body wash and squirting it into your mouth. May and Peter watched you in stunned silence as you swallowed what was on your mouth.

“Mmm. That’s nice. What is it?” You asked and wiped the blue body wash off your mouth.

“Peter.” May smiled calmly. “Care to explain?”

Meanwhile, you had squirt some shampoo into your hand and were licking it off. Peter watched you and sighed before turning to May.

“I don’t know what to tell you, May. You’re clearing tripping balls. And during the work day no less.”

“Please don’t mistake my measured bank tone for calmness as I am filled with waters of rage.” May began.

“Oh God.” Peter gulped.

“Why is there a mermaid eating body wash in your bathroom?” She finally raised her voice, making you flinch. Peter quickly escorted May out of the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

“Please don’t yell! She gets really scared by yelling.” Peter informed her.

“Oh, the mermaid in your bathtub gets scared by yelling? Silly me. How could I not have known about the fears and phobias of the fucking mermaid living in your fucking bathtub!” May whispered harshly.

“Language.” Peter gasped.

“Why is there a mermaid in your tub?” May asked again and angrily pointed to the door. As mad as she was, she didn’t yell out of respect for you.

“Because I love her and promised I’d get her some legs.” Peter blurted, making May let out a long groan.

“If your Uncle Ben was here to see this, I swear.” She mumbled to herself.

“I’m sorry for lying, May. But I didn’t know what to do. She needed to get out of the ocean fast and this was the best I could come up with.”

“She can’t stay here.”

“What? May.” Peter whined.

“Peter, I am your legal guardian. Do you know what would happen if CPS decided to do a spontaneous home visit and found a mermaid living in our bathroom? That’s got to be all kinds of illegal.”

“Then where is she supposed to stay?”

“Here’s an idea. How about at your billionaire friends tower where all the other mystical creatures you know live?”

“But I don’t live there. I wouldn’t be able to see her everyday. And they already judge me so much for that time I wore turquoise shorts. I can’t tell them about this.”

“Peter, what makes you think you can keep a mermaid alive? You have her in a tiny bathtub with nothing but two starfish covering her up and nothing but soap to eat.”

“She likes soap.” Peter defended.

“Peter, she’s gotta go. She doesn’t belong in a cramped tub. She needs to be free.” May said with sympathy.

“Well it’s not like I can flush her down the toilet, May.” Peter whined.

“Nobody suggested that. At all.”

“Then what am I supposed to do with her?”

“Take her to Tony.” May suggested. “He’ll know what to do.”

“How would I possibly get her there? We barely made it here in one piece.”

“I think I have an idea.” May told him.

Once the sun had set and they had the protection of the nights darkness, Peter and May snuck you out of the apartment in their biggest cooler and got you in the back of Mays work van.

“This is so cool! What is it called again?” You asked as you played with the handles of the cooler.

“A cooler.” Peter told you.

“Wow. I always seen humans bring these to the beach but they never take them in the water for some reason.”

“It’s usually meant to hold drinks. And my nephews mermaid girlfriend apparently.” May smiled tightly.

“Thanks. This was a great idea May.” Peter said once May started driving towards the Avengers tower.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t get any ideas and start bringing home other mystical creatures. If I ever walk into our apartment and find a warlock, I’m kicking you out.”

“Would you let the warlock stay once I wad kicked out?” Peter genuinely wondered.

“If he paid rent.” May shrugged.

“What’s rent?” You asked from the back of the van.

“This isn’t one of those born sexy yesterday situations, is it?” May asked as she skeptically eyed Peter.

“Born sexy yesterday? You mean the film trope where female characters are simultaneously highly sexualized and highly infantilized so we as an audience are supposed to be attracted to their raw sex appeal as well as be charmed by their child like mind because they need the male antagonist to explain everything to them? Since they were both born sexy and born yesterday?” Peter asked.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Peter mumbled.

“Peter.” May said warningly.

“This isn’t like that, May. I swear. Y/n is really intelligent. She’s taught herself so much about the above world just from collecting things over the years. And she loves to learn. That was one of her biggest reasons for wanting to come up here. She just doesn’t know the name for a lot of things because she never had someone to teach her. So I’m filling in those gaps for her.”

“Oh. I see. You’re gonna be her teacher? You’re the one who saved her from her horrible life and taught her what it was really like to live?” May asked with a big smile.

“Yeah. I guess so.” Peter smiled at the sound of that. Mays smile dropped and he realized she was being sarcastic.

“You’re not her savior, Peter. Don’t forget that, okay? She is in a position where she has to rely on your for a lot of things. And she’s already feeling indebted to you for getting her out of the water. So I’m going to warn you right now. Do not abuse the power you have over her. It will not end in your favor.”

“I would never abuse my power. I would never do that to her.” Peter said quietly as he thought about what May said.

“I’m just saying. Don’t tell yourself you rescued her. You said so yourself. She is very smart. You didn’t teach her everything she knows. She taught herself and you filled in the gaps. You didn’t save her and give her a new life. She escaped from her old one with your help. Don’t let it go to your head that she was miserable until you came along and magically fixed her whole life. She will still face struggles on land. Lots of them. And sometimes, you won’t be able to help her. For both of your sakes, do not give yourself the title of her savior. You need to be equals. That’s the only way this relationship will work.”

Peter was quiet for the rest of the way to the tower. He didn’t want to admit this to May, but he had been thinking pretty highly of himself for rescuing you. He wanted to tell his friends all about how he heroically saved you from your dad and hide you in his bathtub because he knew it would make him sound cool. Peter looked at you in the rearview mirror and saw that you were craning your neck as high as you possibly could to see out the window. It was hard to see from your place in the cooler and Peter felt guilty for not putting you closer to the window. He shrunk down in his seat and briefly wondered if his reasons for bringing you to the shore were as selfless as he once thought.

It wasn’t long before May parked outside the Avengers tower and helped Peter carry you out of the trunk. Peter leaned down towards the facial recognition device at the front door and let it scan his whole face. You were silent as you watched him, your mind not even being able to comprehend what you were seeing.

“Tiniest avenger. Welcome.” FRIDAY confirmed as the door opened. The water in the cooler sloshed out of the sides as Peter stepped inside the tower. He brought you on the elevator and laughed to himself when you got startled by the moving floor. Once he got to the main room of the tower, he saw most of his team sitting around, silently reading or doing puzzles.

“Hey everyone.” Peter said casually. Everyone turned to look at him and froze when they saw you in the cooler in Peters arms. Your tail was flopping up and down over the edge of the cooler while you looked around in amazement. You could see the whole city out of Tony’s floor to ceilings windows. It was a sight you always dreamed of but never imagined you’d actually get to see.

“Uh, Peter, I didn’t think I had to specify this, but you’re not allowed to bring random mermaids into the tower.” Tony said flatly.

“She’s not random. This is my girlfriend, Y/n.” Peter said and proudly held you up. Everyone let out a collective sigh. Some hung their heads in disappointment while others narrowed their eyes at Peter in utter confusion.

“Of course you have a mermaid girlfriend.” Tony sighed. “Of fucking course you do. Why would I ever expect other wise? This is so unbelievably in character for you.”

“Hi Peters dad.” You smiled kindly and waved.

“Oh my God.” Tony sat down and rubbed his eyes.

“Mr. Stark, I know you have a rule against strays, but her dad is the mermaid king-“

“Of course he is.” Tony nodded.

“-and he forbid her from going to the surface-“

“Checks out.” Tony cut in.

“-and he found out about our secret interspecies relationship. He was gonna send her away.”

“So you want her to stay here?” Tony raised his eyebrows.

“Please? Just until she gets her legs. I can’t live without her.”

“Peter, where are we supposed to put her?”

“I have a sensory deprivation tank I’m not using.” Bruce said and raised his hand.

“Of course you do. Why wouldn’t you?” Tony said sarcastically.

“Is there water in it?” Peter asked.

“I can have it filled in less than two hours.”

“Where am I supposed to put her until then?” Peter wondered.

Peters question was answered by Tony showing you to his master bathroom. The bathroom was bigger than Peters entire apartment, so he felt a little better about keeping you there.

“You have a lovely bathroom, Mr. Peter’s dad.” You smiled as you swam around in Tony’s giant indoor jacuzzi.

“Tony is fine. And thank you. Pepper said it was tacky.” He scoffed as he showed you all the different colors the jacuzzi could light up.

“Oh no. I love the beach theme. I feel right at home.” You told him.

“Where is home, by the way?” Strange wondered as he came into the bathroom to officially meet you.

“The upper East side of the Atlantic Ocean.” You said simply.

“Oh. Sounds lovely.” Tony said sarcastically.

“I’m Dr. Strange, by the way. I’ll be the one giving you legs.” Strange said as he reached out to shake your hand. You looked at his hand in confusion, unsure of what he wanted you to do with it. He quickly realized his mistake and withdrew his hand.

“I apologize. I didn’t realize shaking hands was not customary under the sea.” He said to you. Peter stifled a laugh as it was the first time he had seen Dr. Strange being vulnerable.

“That’s all right. I really appreciate what you’re doing for me, Mr. Doctor Strange. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

“I might have some idea. Your boyfriend was pretty convincing.” Strange said and nodded towards Peter. You looked at Peter and watched him smile shyly, so you blew him a kiss the way he had once done to you. Pepper then walked into the bathroom with a couple of bathing suit tops.

“Here. I brought you some swim suit tops that might feel a little more comfortable than….those.” Pepper said as she made eye contact with your starfish bra.

“Oh, thank you. Everyone here is so nice.” You smiled happily and accepted the tops. Peter saw you reaching for your starfish and quickly jumped between you and Tony.

“Mr. Stark, turn around right now.”

“Why?” Tony asked as Peter physically turned him around. Peter turned around as well just as Pepper let out a surprised gasp. She walked back over to Peter, Tony and Strange with a confused look on her face.

“Hey, so, your girlfriend just whipped her tits out like it was no big deal.” Pepper whispered to the two of them.

“She does that.” Peter nodded. “I think it’s a mermaid thing.”

“Great. Remind me to not be in the room when she gets her legs for the first time.” Tony smiled sarcastically.

“So this is really happening? Am I really getting legs?” You asked from behind them. Peter turned to look at you and saw you were wearing a black bikini top that Pepper had given you. From his angle, you looked fully human. He smiled a little to himself and grew excited for the day you really would be.

“If all goes according to plan, yes. I’ll be conducting a spell that transforms your tail into a pair of legs.” Dr. Strange answered you.

“And it’ll be permanent?” You asked hopefully.

“If you want it to be. I could also make it where you turn back into a mermaid when you’re submerged in water.” Strange told you.

“Maybe we should do that. In case you change your mind.” Peter said to you.

“I won’t.” You said confidently.

“You might. You might miss your dad.”

“I’d miss the land more.”

“Isn’t this your first time on land?” Tony pointed out.

“Yes. But I’ve dreamed of it my whole life. I don’t miss the sea. And I never will. I want the spell to be permanent.” You said definitively.

“Give it some thought. We can do the spell another day.” Strange suggested once he sensed the disagreement between you and Peter.

“I don’t need a day.” You insisted. “I know what I want. I never want to see my tail again.”

“We’ll do it tomorrow.” Peter told Strange, making you frown. You looked and Peter and wanted him to look at you, but he was still looking at Strange.

“Fine. Tomorrow.” Strange nodded and left the room. Tony and Pepper patted your shoulder before leaving as well. Once it was just you and Peter, you spoke up.

“Peter?”

“Yeah?” He asked and sat down on the edge of the jacuzzi.

“I don’t like it when you speak for me.” You said in a matter of fact tone. You weren’t angry, just trying to let him know how you felt. Peter was caught off guard by your statement and jutted his head back.

“Oh, I’m sorry honey. I didn’t realize I was speaking for you. I just really think you should keep the option of keeping your tail. Just in case you change your mind.”

“You don’t know what it was like down there, Peter. None of my decisions were mine. I lived in constant fear of being found by the bad men. So I spent my whole life wishing to be somewhere else. I’m free now. I can’t go back. I’m not going to change my mind.”

“What about your dad?”

“He has 7 other daughters. He won’t miss me.”

“I’d miss you. I imagine anyone who lost you from their life would miss you. There’s a space that you fill. I can’t be the only one who feels that way about you. What about your sisters?”

“They never understood me. They never understood what it was like to want the things I wanted. My sisters are happy in the water. They’re happy because they belong. And they always knew I didn’t belong. I will miss them, but I know that they’d be happy knowing I am happy.”

Peter nodded in understanding and leaned in to kiss you. After the chaotic day, you were happy to have this quiet moment with him. You didn’t want your relationship to get lost in the excitement of getting your legs. When Peter pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours and looked into your eyes.

“I swear, I’m gonna show you what it’s like to have someone actually love you. No more possession and having someone make all your decisions for you. No more feeling like you don’t belong. You’re going to be happy here.”

“We’re going to be happy here.” You corrected him with a smile. Peter kissed you one last time before letting you get some rest. He caught up to Dr. Strange in the hallway and stopped him.

“Hey, when we do the spell tomorrow, don’t do the one that will make her permanently a human, okay? Do the other one.”

“But she doesn’t want to ever have tail again. She seemed very adamant about that.” Strange titled his head in confusion.

“She thinks that’s what she wants. But I know she’ll regret it.”

“Peter, I’m not gonna do something without her knowing about it. I’m going to perform the spell that she wants, not you.”

“What about this? What if she only gets her tail back when she touches saltwater? She can still shower and go in the pool, but if she goes to the beach, she’ll return to a mermaid. That way, if she ever wants to go home, she can. We’ll call it the saltwater clause.”

“Did you clear that with her?” Strange asked, already knowing the answer.

“I will.” Peter nodded. Strange seemed content with that and walked away.

Peter looked back at the bathroom door and could hear you swimming around in there. He then thought back to what May said about him not being your savior. If you ended up hating your life on land because it didn’t live up to the fantasy you’d created in your head, he didn’t want you to be stuck there. Even though Peter knew you hated your old life, he wanted to preserve the option of returning to it. Peter made the decision to not tell you about the saltwater clause but make Strange think he did. He figured you’d never want to go to the ocean after spending your whole life trying to leave it, so he’d be safe from you ever finding out. May wanted to accuse him of acting like your savior, so he was going to selflessly preserve your choice to go home. Even if that meant one day, you’d leave him.

🌊🌊🌊

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[poisonlove]

I'm very sorry | j.o

Sorry¹

I'm standing in front of the house, and as I open the door, a silent curse escapes my lips when I spot my mother in the kitchen. I hadn't planned on finding her here at this hour. I start to hope that she's too engrossed in something else to notice my disastrous state.

However, my hope quickly deflates when my mother turns from the kitchen and sees me. "Y/n, what are you doing here?" she asks quickly, raising an eyebrow with curiosity.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at work?" I reply hastily, feeling agitated.

"I decided to stay home today," she tells me with a smile. But the smile quickly fades when she notices that I'm completely covered in frappé.

"What happened?" she asks, worried, as she approaches to examine me closely.

Without thinking too much, I quickly respond, trying to keep my explanation simple. "Oh, Mom, it was an accident. I spilled frappé on myself while trying to drink it." My voice expresses confidence, as if this were the most obvious explanation in the world. The concern on my mother's face eases slightly, but she still seems somewhat skeptical.

"Alright, but try to be more careful," she tells me before disappearing from my sight. I release a sigh of relief, grateful that I managed to avoid more complicated explanations.

I rush up the stairs, my heart beating fast from both haste and embarrassment. My only concern is reaching my room as quickly as possible. Once safe, I undress quickly, almost stumbling in my eagerness to rid myself of the sticky frappé covering me. My clothes end up in a messy pile on the floor, but I don't have time to straighten them. I grab a towel without bothering to wrap it around me and head for the bathroom. My mind is focused solely on getting rid of this mess, hoping my mother hasn't noticed my previous state.

I turn on the shower faucet, and the water begins to flow. I take a deep breath and, with determination, step under the warm stream. I close my eyes, and despite the temperature being slightly above my comfort threshold, I begin to feel the warmth enveloping my body. The shower becomes a temporary refuge, a moment of tranquility after the morning's chaos.

Under the shower, the sensation of the hot water slowly flowing over me starts to soothe the tension. I close my eyes and concentrate on the pleasant feeling of warmth enveloping my body. The water washes away the frappé, and each drop seems to carry away some of my worry and shame.

The morning was so unexpected, and this shower represents a moment of renewal. As the water washes away, I let my mind free itself from worries and focus only on the present, finding a moment of peace and relaxation after Cassie's unpleasant surprise.

...

I finally step out of the shower, wet hair dripping water droplets. The sensation of the hot water running over my skin was truly pleasant and relaxing. As I dry myself, I feel a sense of calm spreading within me.

I head to my closet and, after choosing a comfortable pajama, I slip into the soft fabric. The cool fabric brushes against my skin, and the feeling is pleasantly cozy after the hot shower. With no plans to go out, I head straight to my bed.

I let myself sink onto the soft mattress and feel the comfort of the pillow under my head. I close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath.

"Damn it," I mutter when I hear my phone ringing. Without even checking who it is, I grab the phone. "Hello?" I ask in confusion.

On the other end of the line, an excited and familiar voice answers, "Y/n! Finally, you answered! I left you a bunch of messages." I realize it's Sofia.

"Hi, Sof," I manage a small smile.

"Y/n, where on earth are you?" she asks, sounding worried.

"I'm at home, Sofia," I reply with a sigh.

Momentary silence from the other side, followed by a slight tone of surprise. "Home?"

"Yes, I'm home," I reply. "It was just a little mishap. Nothing serious."

"What happened?" Sofia asks, with a note of concern in her voice.

I hesitate for a moment before answering, "Nothing... really... it was just Cassie."

"Oh..." Sofia murmurs, as if understanding everything instantly. "So it's true, I heard she spilled frappé on you... that darn jerk," she mutters under her breath, expressing her indignation. "I didn't think she'd actually do it."

As I listen to Sofia's words, I feel a mix of anger and gratitude. Anger at how Cassie treated me, but also gratitude for having a friend like Sofia on my side.

"But where are you? Don't you have class now?" I ask, curious to understand why Sofia called me at this moment.

Sofia replies, "Yes, but I'm in the bathroom now. The most important thing is to know how you're doing," she confesses with a smile in her voice.

I can't help but smile with gratitude. "Thank you, Sofia. I'm okay, just a bit shaken from this morning. But I'm better now." Her concern makes me feel more supported and appreciated.

"Alright, I'll go before the teacher finds out what I'm really doing," Sofia hurriedly mutters, "see you later!" she exclaims before hanging up the call.

I find myself smiling, grateful for Sofia's friendship and the unexpected call that helped divert my mind from the events of this morning. Now I can focus on resting and recovering after such a hectic day.

I prepare to lie back on the bed, seeking some peace after Sofia's call. But just as I'm about to relax, I hear my mother's voice calling me from downstairs.

"Y/n! Can you come down for a moment, please?" she says, with a calm but urgent tone.

Sighing, I get up from the bed and head down the stairs, wondering what could be so urgent as to interrupt my moment of peace.

As I mutter something under my breath, I look up to see my mother drying her hands with a cloth. "There's a friend of yours outside; I invited her in, but she wants to see you first," she exclaims with a small smile.

"Who is it, Mom?" I ask puzzled.

My only friend is Sofia Carson.

"I don't know her," my mother honestly replies before returning to the kitchen.

I try to figure out who on earth it could be since Sofia is still stuck at school. But obviously, it's not her, considering my mother knows her well.

"Who the heck is it?" I wonder aloud as I imagine a series of possibilities. "Maybe a classmate who miraculously wants to give me homework," I add with a sarcastic smile.

I decide to go and open the door, but my smile quickly disappears when I see Jenna Ortega in front of my house. A mix of panic and curiosity courses through my veins. What is Jenna doing here?

"What are you doing here, Jenna?" I ask venomously, the tension in my voice palpable as I observe her genuine smile.

Without waiting for my consent, Jenna enters my house, looking around as if she were an expected visitor.

"Hello, dear," my mother says with a wide smile and bright eyes of happiness. It's clear that my mother is excited to see someone other than Sofia.

"Mrs. L/n, sorry for the inconvenience..." Jenna smiles as she searches for something in her backpack. "One of our teachers was absent, so they let us out early... I wanted to come see t/n so we could start our science project," she says with a perfect 32-tooth smile.

I find myself looking alternately between Jenna and my mother, still confused and baffled by Jenna's presence here, in my house. What's going on?

"Oh, yes... the science project," I nervously exclaim, trying to mask my confusion with a weak chuckle. We didn't have any science project, so why was Jenna here?

"Mom, if you don't mind, we'll go upstairs," I say with embarrassment, trying to push Jenna out of my mother's sight. Jenna greets my mother with a smile and starts climbing the stairs.

But before I can close the door, my mother's voice rings out again. "The door has to stay open!" she yells, making me blush intensely.

"MOM!" I exclaim in embarrassment, feeling as if I want to sink into the floor. Without any other choice, I enter my room, noticing that Jenna is curiously looking at the details of my room.

"Nice room..." Jenna murmurs with a smile as she examines the surroundings.

"Thank you... but what are you doing here?" I ask again, this time trying to understand her real purpose in my house. My mind is still filled with questions and uncertainties about her presence, and I feel that I need to get some answers.

"Oh... I just wanted to spend some time with you," she confesses and then tilts her head, looking at me attentively.

"Did you put on your pajamas?" she asks with a small smile on her lips, and my cheeks turn red.

"Well... I just wanted to relax in bed... but that's none of your business," I exclaim defensively.

Everything feels so strange after Jenna's confession, and my mind is a never-ending whirlwind of thoughts. Memories of teasing, laughter... a shiver runs down my spine.

"Listen... I want to start over, okay?" Jenna murmurs, looking at me with genuine remorse.

"You can't erase three years..." I respond, clenching my jaw tightly, heavy memories of the past weighing on my mind.

"I want to prove that I can change," Jenna raises her head and looks at me with challenging, bright eyes, as if she's determined to take this opportunity for a fresh start.

"Mmmmh..." I mumble with indecision, still unsure if I should give Jenna a second chance after everything that's happened.

"What do you say we go out? Anywhere you like..." Jenna suggests, trying to start something new between us. "Or we could stay and watch a movie with my laptop," she suggests, casting her eyes on my pink pajamas. "I have to admit, it's a really cute hippo," she confesses with a smile.

"Ortega!" I exclaim in embarrassment, feeling a bit uncomfortable. "We're supposed to be doing science," I say, raising an eyebrow, trying to remind her of our original mission. "If my mother comes in, she can't see us slacking off," I add timidly, trying to maintain a minimum of seriousness in the situation.

Jenna shrugs and moves closer to me, taking a seat on my bed.

"One thing I've always thought is that you don't know how to have fun," she confesses, looking at me out of the corner of her eye.

I suddenly feel like I'm under examination as Jenna leans on her side and looks at me, her smile challenging my sense of duty and seriousness. Her gaze makes me blush and, at the same time, feel uncomfortable, as if she wants to pull me out of my comfort zone.

"What do you suggest, then?" I ask with growing curiosity, almost forgetting for a moment our complicated past.

"I have an idea," her lips curl into a mischievous smile that sends shivers down my spine. "But you'll have to take off your pajamas," she murmurs softly.

[stedefxckingbonnet]

Past Lives | Izzy Hands x Reader

Izzy Hands x Gn!Reader

Summary: Quite some time has passed since you joined the crew of The Revenge per being saved, and you've grown particularly close to the one who brought you aboard. One night in particular is breathtaking and you decide you cannot contain your feelings anymore, but you had never learned exactly how to express these sorts of feelings to another person, let alone Izzy Hands. So, you do so in the only way you know how.

Warnings: slight angst/tension, slight avoidant attachment style (w/resolution though), kissing, some strong language

Word count: 2264 (some longer ones coming your way in the near future, though!)

A/N: hi hi lovely people! This is honestly the first x reader I've written since I was probably 14-15, so please bear that in mind! My interpretation of Izzy I feel like, isn't always 100% representative of him in the show itself, but I feel like I tried to capture him at his core while exploring this more sensitive side of him that we are getting in season 2, perhaps more of a what he is on the pathway to being, and therefore already is, if that makes any sense. Just has to be unlocked in levels. Plus, Izzy deserves the world so I just wanted to write something sweet to dip my toe back into this sort of writing. Anyhow, I'd like to get back into the habit of writing these so please, do request! I hope you all enjoy this one, comments are much appreciated xx

The stars illuminated the sky in such a way that it almost looked like a painting—a bit too picturesque, like one of those artworks that only aristocrats could afford to have on the wall of their ornate mansions passed through the centuries, or even built and curated just for them. Nonetheless, it was breathtaking, and the fresh air coursed through your veins and senses so effortlessly and made you feel alive. Nights like these weren't meant to be spent hidden away in your quarters and you knew that. Once you were sure everyone had retired for the night, you quietly crept onto the main deck, ready for your moment of solace that you had been seeking for weeks now.

You approached one of the railings, scanning across the deck still to see if anyone had been lurking nearby. The coast was clear, and finally, you found somewhere to lean on as you stared out into the night sky, the wind blowing through even the hairs on your neck, making them stand. On occasion, you'd be sprayed by the sea but it was the most at peace you had felt in weeks.

"Rough night?" you heard someone quietly call from a short distance away. You almost jumped, but you quickly turned around only to see Izzy Hands. Relief washed over you, as did a nervous feeling that had only begun recently. You inhaled sharply as Izzy waltzed over, thanking the stars for not illuminating this spot too much, therefore being no way he saw you craving that much air in your lungs. He leaned beside you on the railing, awaiting your reply.

"Not at all," you admitted. "Quite the opposite. It's so beautiful out tonight."

Izzy only nodded. He joined you in looking out at the landscape presented before him. In all of his years of sailing, it was all he had ever known--the sky and the sea, yet, he had never thought it to be this ravishing before. He never noticed how lovely it could be. Being here with you, he saw it all in a new light. He discreetly glanced over at you once again. He had noticed the way your lips slightly parted when you saw something you liked, and the way your shoulders lowered when you were relaxed. He noticed that you'd twiddle your thumbs when you were truly happy—in fact, you happened to be doing it right now. Izzy allowed his lips to curl into a smile upon realizing this. Finally, he broke the silence.

"I've never seen anything like this," he admitted, almost out of breath whilst he was still looking over at you. You still hadn't noticed.

"Isn't it...divine?" you chuckled. "Beautiful seems too weak a word."

"I feel the opposite. I don't think I've ever described anything as beautiful before."

"Really? Not once?"

Izzy shook his head. "Saving it for something special, I guess."

Silence filled the space between the two of you once again, but for once in your life, it was a comfortable silence. You looked out at the sea, but this time, you could feel Izzy's eyes on you. You attempted to discreetly glance his way, and you couldn't help but smile when you locked eyes. You looked away as you practically felt your cheeks burning and your stomach turning, and you hoped to the sea gods that you weren't falling ill. But these forlorn feelings felt honestly incredible, for once. A wave of confusion crashed over you, and it was growing more and more difficult to ignore.

"You alright?" Izzy inquired with genuine concern. This entire time, his eyes have not left you.

"What? Me?"

Izzy chuckled. "Who else?"

"Fine. Just fine."

"Just fine?"

"Do you believe in past lives?" you suddenly heard yourself ask, and already you were cursing yourself for it.

"Past lives?" Izzy repeated pensively. You nodded, looking over at him intently. It took him a moment to think of a response, and even still, he seemed unsure. "This sure as hell feels like the first time I'm living. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have made a lot of the decisions and mistakes I've made, I suppose."

You felt your heart sink, and it almost felt like there was no way to retrieve it. "I see. Well, goodnight."

Without letting Izzy have another word, you scurried back to your quarters, tears streaming down your cheeks like waterfalls.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You awoke the next morning with a sharp pain in your chest. You winced as you forced yourself out of bed, though as you dressed, the feeling began to dissipate. You almost teared up again upon reminiscing last night. What were you thinking, asking something like that of Israel Hands? Where did that even come from? Why did his answer hurt so terribly? A million thoughts swarmed around in your head like flies, and there wasn't much you could do to swat them away. You felt like holing yourself up in your room but you knew that with Stede as one of the captains, this wasn't much of an option. After hovering your hand above the doorknob for what seemed like ages, you finally twisted it, revealing yourself to the crew. Already, everyone seemed to be intertwined in their usual antics and fuckeries--it would have been fun and refreshing to see if not for the somber mood you were in. Lucius waved you over, and you seriously thought of walking right past him, but he was your dear friend, like a brother to you and you wouldn't have forgiven yourself if you dismissed him. You trudged over to him, and he immediately recognized your gloom.

"Well good morning, mopey," Lucius teased, nudging you in the shoulder.

"Not today, Luci," you mumbled. "Not today."

Lucius' smile dropped, though he raised a brow. "Talk to me. Who do I need to punch?"

"No one. I'm just having a bad day."

"You are such a bad liar."

"I just don't wanna talk about it," you grumbled. Lucius was at a loss for words, but thankfully you knew just what to say. "The sky was lovely last night. If only you'd been awake to sketch it. You're the only one who would have done it any justice."

"Maybe I'll have another chance tonight," Lucius said hopefully.

"Maybe you will," you breathed out as suddenly, none other than Izzy himself appeared onto the deck. You gulped and turned away from him immediately.

"Whoa, whoa. What's going on with you and Iz—“

"—I don't wanna talk about it," you almost seethed. Before you knew it, a finger tapped your shoulder. You swiveled around, fighting the tears in your eyes.

"Got a minute?"

"Not exactly."

"What better do you have to do?" Izzy demanded. Your jaw dropped, and you were waiting for your thoughts to catch up with your mouth but they never did. "That's what I thought. Come on, Y/N."

"Later, okay? Not right now. Tonight," you promised. "That's my best offer."

"I'll hold you to it."

You immediately realized the mistake you had made, and how difficult and miraculous it would be to get through this entire day before possibly knowing what Izzy wanted from you.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The shadow of the moon was present once again, and for once, you dreaded the wonders of nighttime. It felt perilous and peculiar now, like a friend you didn't quite recognize anymore. But, a promise was a promise, you'd be damned if you broke one, let alone this one. As frustrated and almost devastated as you were, you'd never allow yourself to break a promise to Izzy. You pulled your favorite capelet over your shoulders and started toward the deck to find Izzy already waiting in your usual spot. You hadn't realized it until now, but this really was your and Izzy's spot. It's where you wiped away his tears when he cried in front of you the first time, it's where he sat with you countless times when you couldn't sleep, it's where the two of you conversed until dawn frequently. Always this spot. It took everything in you to fight off a pang of joy upon experiencing such an epiphany. Izzy didn't notice that you had appeared beside him until you looked over at him finally.

"Are you alright? You seemed a bit...I don't know. Not yourself this morning, and last night."

"I'm fine," you shrugged, knowing Izzy would see right through you like you were a phantom.

"I don't buy that for a second," Izzy rolled his eyes. And with that, silence surrounded you both once again. It frustrated Izzy to no end that he couldn't figure out what was plaguing you. He always felt as if he was able to put a finger on whatever it was that bothered you, he prided himself on knowing you that well. The last thing he wanted was for you to become a stranger after all the two of you had endured together. The thought of losing you filled him with a sorrow he had never felt before.

"I'm sorry about what I asked you last night. About past lives and stuff," you suddenly said. Yet another moment where your mind and mouth weren't synced. You regretted saying this as soon as you began to speak, but you knew that once you did, there would be no stopping, no taking anything back.

"What was that all about, anyway?" Izzy implored. You almost scoffed at his tone but when you met eyes with him, you instantly realized that he genuinely wished to know. His eyes sort of twinkled when he was curious, and this was the first time you noticed such an endearing phenomenon.

"I just," you exhaled, pausing before you spoke again, this time choosing your words carefully. "Why'd you save me that day at Jackie's?"

Izzy was taken aback at such a question. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Not at all, actually," you laughed in annoyance, which was only a coping mechanism for the extreme anxiety you were undergoing in this moment.

"I honestly can't give you an answer you'd want," Izzy admitted. "I just felt...called to. I could tell it would be nice having you around here. I wanted to give you a place you could call home."

"So, wait, you care about me?" you inquired seriously, which only earned a chuckle of disbelief from him.

"Of course I do, dammit!"

"I don't know, Iz, I just...from the moment we met I felt this connection to you and I can't explain it. No matter how hard I could try, I won't be able to. I felt like I was meant to be around you."

"You think I didn't feel that way, too?"

"You did?" you asked, a glint of hope looming in your voice.

"Of course I did. And, I do. I can't explain it either. But I felt as if we were meant to be around each other, in each other's lives. I don't know," he rambled nervously. This was the first time you had seen Izzy like this. It was a side of him you weren't even sure he possessed until now.

"I guess I sort of caked that to the past life shit," you sighed. "And when you said you didn't believe in past lives, I freaked out and took that as you not caring about me and everything we've built just felt like a huge lie."

"Everything we've built," Izzy repeated.

"I'm so sorry," you laughed embarrassedly. "I don't know what I'm talking about."

"No," Izzy cut you off, putting his gloved finger to your lips. You could feel Izzy's breath on your face. "If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't have asked you to come with me. I had only known you for a few moments and I already knew you would be...important to me."

You were absolutely baffled. You opened your mouth to speak, and not a sound escaped it. Izzy took a step closer to you, slowly moving his hand to cup the right side of your face.

"And it helps that you are just...beautiful," he whispered as your foreheads touched. You could've sworn your heart was going a million miles a minute and that you would need some sort of village medic after this. As if it were instinct, your hand made its way into his carefully swept hair, and it felt like silk between your fingers. All of your worries suddenly melted away as you melted into one another, your lips brushing up against one another's. You nodded pleadingly, yes, you wanted this, followed by a nod from Izzy and finally, like puzzle pieces, your lips connected. It felt effortless and so, so right to share such closeness. Two becoming one, two souls merging to create a love bigger than either of you. A love that had been carefully crafted ever since the first day of meeting. A love that the both of you knew would inevitably take hold, because it always did in all the stories you devoured and then later went on to show to Izzy. A love that you had craved since you heard of the concept of it. A love that Izzy never thought he would attain in his lifetime.

You gasped happily for air, yet your foreheads still touched. Izzy gazed at you as if you were the only other person in the world and the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes upon.

"Perhaps I haven't had any past lives," Izzy breathed. "but I will have love for you in all my next."

[saiidahyunie]

airplane pt.2

minatozaki sana x soccerplayer!reader (remixed) || pt.2

synopsis: the world’s game is calling, but will you be able to kick off your feelings in time before sana loses her chance?

warnings: fluff ; bit of pining ; a pinch of slowburn ? ; angst if you really squint

a/n: long explanation at the end of the fic!

the good news was way too good to be true, but you’re blanked out from all the white noise in your head to even listen in the first place. 

“i-i literally don’t know what to say…it’s happening all too fast.”

“oh! i’m not asking you to decide now. don’t shoot the messenger here.” the woman, kim sejong, who was a representative for a professional soccer team that was interested in you clarified while raising her hands up in innocence. “i’m just formally meeting with you so that we can get some potential talks going, that's all.”

sighing out of relief, you lean back into the chair between you parents, the both of them laughing while you try to hide your flushed face. 

sejong stands up from the chair, turning back to see dex, nodding to him while he nicked his head towards you. the camaraderie was mutual between all parties while she grabbed a card from her briefcase. 

“my contact information.” she hands the business card to dex.“it’s good to finally meet you and i hope we can stay in touch.” sejong says, smiling to you and your parents exchanging nods and goodbyes before being led on her way out to the front door. 

you were literally just having a normal day with some free practice and the one of many dates/hangouts already with sana just twenty minutes ago, but here you were in a state of shock as to what’s being realized in your head: the contract offers. an actual signature for a team that was interested in your talents—to dumb it down even more; you were about to go pro. 

dex comes back with his hands clasp together while your mom tries to make you snap out of your daydreaming again, shaking you while you brush her off in a slight annoyance. “well, i think that was one of the more interesting things to happen today, don't ya think?” 

“dex,” you try to gather your thoughts together, “how did you—”

“i didn’t call or ask around this time, she came to us.” 

you nod. “makes sense, never mind then.” 

“great news either way! from what i heard at rin’s camp, she already signed and sealed her deal to the interested team.

“what?” your mom exclaims in surprise, hand over her mouth while you were just left in awe with what you just heard. “she’s already signed?” 

“well, she’s the one who got the first ranking after all, so of course she’d be the go-getter between you two.” dex replies, raising a glass of water to you in a small celebration. “actually, she’s overseas right now getting the final details done and over with.” 

“but the rankings have only been out for a freaking week or so! that’s insane of her to do that i can’t believe it!”

“remember what we talked about y/n, the project we discussed about last time initially was more of a hypothesized approach, given how the teams are currently holding up in the league currently.”

dex slides a glass of water to you, mindlessly taking it to drink while both of your parents started to leave the table to get on with their responsibilities around the house. even though there were still a lot of things to consider, becoming a pro was the only thing you’ve been dedicating most of your life to. you’re still in disbelief that you’ve managed to balance everything in between, but sana’s words rang through your head like a phone alarm. 

“all of those practices and games will finally be worth it in the end.” 

“every step of the way….”

pondering, almost pensive, you shake your head from the thought of what sana would feel if you told her about your contract offers. knowing how supportive she was, you knew that her answer would always be the same as yours. even if you tried to reason with her, she’d win you over anyway—that’s just how she was with you, with her parents, everybody for that matter. 

“is there a deadline that we have to confirm by?” you ask dex, swiping the business card to see the number and signature of sejong’s finely written in ink, looking back at him while he scrolled on his phone texting a plethora of journalists, other big soccer team higher-ups, and even fellow agents trying to get rid of all the notifications on the message app. 

“well let’s not jump to conclusions now.” he laughs, putting out his hand for the business card back. “if anything, we can hold out until january to get more teams involved. keeping you here would be a crime with the amount of phone calls i get on a daily basis. be thankful that your phone isn’t much active compared to mine.” 

“should’ve thought twice before i made you my agent then.” 

“pull up your phone right now and show me your text and call history, i bet it has sana all over it.” 

you sigh again, opening up your phone before sliding it to dex’s side of the table, skimming through the texts and phone calls. he chuckles at the screen of the hours-long calls and short text messages back and forth with sana. having nothing to hide, you just lift an eyebrow with a simple smirk across your face. 

“after all these years, and you still haven’t made it past that stage.” 

(well, you’re not oblivious or deaf to what dex and your friends have been saying about you and sana for so long now.)

“i–” 

“you don’t think more than three times about signing for a team, but can’t bring yourself to confess to the girl that you’ve been crushing on since you were eight? talk about having your priorities straight y/n.” dex adds, not even leaving you a chance to even state your case. 

dex watches you hang your head in defeat of the argument, lightly tapping the table before going on with the rest of your evening doing whatever. “you staying for dinner?” 

“what’s your mom making tonight?”

“chicken adobo, one of your favorites.” 

“nice!” dex giggles, wiggling your hand while you slap his head to stop him. “but seriously though, time is short y/n, are you gonna regret not saying what you’ve been venting to me about for the past two to three years?” 

“lets not bring back that fight we had from a while back.” you quip, “are the news outlets gonna be about me in the next couple of days? ‘

“expect them to be out by tomorrow or the day after.” 

“great, i’ll worry about signing until then.” 

“still haven’t answered my question though.”

“what question?”

—

your mind may be clouded from all of the contract offers whirling in your head, but muscle memory is your best friend when you seamlessly belt another ball into the top corner of the open net, still impressed at the curvature of the shot.

liz, your fellow vice captain and other close friend, gives you an icy coo when you roll out another ball from the bunch next to the bag, letting it run away before stopping along the grass. “so i take it that the talks are going well?” liz asks, flatly shooting a ball across the ground into the goal. “you’ve been awfully quiet about your side of the whole thing.” 

“i like to keep that stuff private,” you say, “you know how i operate about these things.” 

“but it still doesn’t beg the question however.“ liz interjects, rolling another ball to you before you chip the ball up, dinking the crossbar by doing so. “where do you see yourself going?” 

“who knows?” you laugh out, rolling a third ball back and forth under your foot. “london, rome, japan, korea, maybe even here? it’s still a lot to ponder about.” 

you and liz both look towards the set of benches behind to the side, the sweet sound of laughter filling your ears as sana, tzuyu, and mina all share a conversation together on a break. liz sees your gaze soften towards sana while the small gust of wind blows past through you, leaving little to no motion from it while you’re blatantly staring. 

“all i’m saying is y/n,” liz sighs out, smacking you on the shoulder lightly, causing you to lose your balance. “probably too many times to count at this point, but sooner or later things are going to change drastically. you’ve gotta say something to her, and you’re too oblivious to things as it is.” 

snapping out, you give liz a dirty look knowing that it was a joke before you look back to sana, giving a long lasting daze in which she notices, waving from the bench while you simply raise your hand up in acknowledgement towards the trio. “don’t tell me she drove here too.” liz says, making you chuckle at the thought. 

“god, no.” you say. “after that one time late at night. i had to beg my mom not to give her the access code again.” 

liz kicks in another ball towards the goal, but it’s deflected wide, giving her a nod of the effort. “are you going to spend the remaining time here with sana from here on out?” 

“not today, but next time for sure if i don’t get a text from you asking to get a shooting session in.” 

—

the next time you saw and hung out with sana, you were helping her with baking some cookies for the sleepover party that she was invited to by momo and a few others. ingredients are scattered all across the kitchen island, utensils and plates fill up the sink, and you’re frowning at the fact that you have two handprints over your chest with sana laughing hysterically at the image. 

“you’re so cute!” sana laughs out, and you shake your head while you put your hands on her shoulders to stop her from jumping around too much. “you should’ve seen the look on your face when i put them on the apron!” 

“ha ha, sana. very funny..” you say nonchalantly, dusting off the remnants of the flour poofed on your body from your hands now that the cookies were in the oven almost done baking, so there was a little bit of extra time on your hands. “how long are you gonna be at momo’s for?” 

“probably for the weekend. why’d you ask?” 

“i thought this sleepover was planned for the rest of—never mind.” you say, taking off the apron before setting it onto the high chair behind you. “since we’re off from class for the next week or so, i thought that you guys would be more excited to spend some quality time together.” 

“well, it’s because you’re too busy with your soccer stuff to have time with us anymore.” sana pouts, a chuckle leaving your nose while you fished for your phone to change the song that was playing on the speaker that sana brought down from her room. “you’re still taking me to momo’s, right?”

“after taking my car to see me that one time, you’re strictly back to being my passenger princess.” 

sana arches her brows in question, causing you to mirror the same look from her face, the balls in her eyes capturing yours while she sets herself in front of you. seeing her like this inside these four walls does something to you on the inside, this gaze that you’ve seen for so many years now—why does it feel like it gets better every time you see her?

“y/n.” sana calls out to you, and you swear something just clicks in your brain everytime you hear it.

“yes?”

“is there…something you want to tell me?” sana asks with pleading eyes. 

you’re thrown off by the initial question. a part of you wants to say what you’ve been wanting to say for three years out of the many with sana. i like you, sana. you. i’m in love with you. always have, for the longest time. everything just seems to wash away when i see you smile. all of my worries and burdens are swept under the rug when we have moments like these. i don’t want this to end. not once, if at all. but, cowardice was always your enemy in life. so you say, 

“well, i’m still waiting to hear from dex about signing and stuff like that.” a lame answer, your second thoughts won again this time. “it’s been pretty quiet for about a day or so, but no. you look pretty with the two buns in your head.” you smile, tapping the back of sana’s hair while she accepts the compliment by smiling. 

“thank you as always, y/n. always noticing the great things about me.” 

(oh, she has no idea. or does she?) 

“anything for one of the prettiest best friends i know.”  you agree, moving a part of sana’s hair before your eyes trail down the features on her face. just like your daydreaming, you’re distracted by the curve of her smile, the way her lips are so easily contoured with the rest of her skin. the universe in those eyes that probably picture sunshine and rainbows wherever she goes. this perfect, yet calming storm that eases you, it’s scary. 

you’re also not helping your case when you have a floating hand next to sana’s head, barely touching your hair like she was some art piece. a soft smile is all you could bear to keep yourself calm while sana lightly blushed from the action, looking down to the floor when the compliment you just said finally registered in her mind. “gosh, why are you—“ 

“shh,” you stop her sentence, “look up for me real quick.” 

sana slightly looks up, her face wildly more attractive with the worry from her eyes along the flush of light pink breaking through her face when you bring your thumb across her upper lip. 

you, on the other hand, are playing the role of some guardian protecting their treasure the way your fingers curl on her chin and lips, wiping away the bit of cookie dough that sat there for too long to get you bothered. eyes relaxing up while sana’s gaze lasers through you like a knife in butter, but you have every urge to resist the notion of kissing her right here and now, to not say anything after and just play it off coolly like you always did before. 

she clutches your wrist, not wanting your hand to be pulled away from the bottom half of her face—as if she too, wants this to happen. “sana.” you murmur, the way the double syllables of her name rolls out of your lips so effortlessly, she’s gravitating towards you, the thumping in your chest overpowering the neurons in your brain like you wanted this to happen. she’s got you wrapped gently around her finger and before anything else could happen—

ding! 

reflexively, you adjust your head slightly upwards while sana falls into your chest, a place where she’s been before, and the way her hands clutch to your sweater while you’re holding her at the waist like you’ve caught her countless times, you can’t help but snort at sana’s clumsiness that she was normally known for in a few cases.

“you had cookie dough on your lips.” you say looking down slightly at the girl somewhat hugging like a sloth on a tree, patting her back to comfort while she shakes her head into the fabric, almost wanting to bury herself more into it because she too knows too that the time is short. eventually, she pulls away standing up, patting down her apron while you rub your eyes as a cover up. 

“thanks again for helping me.” sana says, cleaning her throat while you hum and nod in responde before starting to put away some of the ingredients back into the cupboards. “oh, y/n i can just do the cleaning. let me.”

“no, you should go get your bags ready. i still have to drive you to the store to get that ice cream that jihyo asked for.” you reply, continuing to put a box of baking soda into the cabinet while sana waved her hands in protest. 

“go wash up. i got this.” 

“alright, if you insist.” you say, making your way to the bathroom behind the kitchen. “go ahead and change the song on my phone if you want to.” 

sana hums, contemplating on whether she’d use this small window to see what was on your phone. it wouldn’t be any surprise, you had one game which was wordscapes that made sana burst out in laughter when you were playing it at a soccer tourney earlier this year, claiming that you were a mom with your glasses while cooling down for the next match. 

other than that, your phone just had the essential apps and social media platforms, but sana let curiosity get the best of her when she sees an article headline about your situation of where you were going to play professionally. 

the more sana read past the article title, the more she started to worry. time was short, and the clock was winding down before you eventually leave your home to embark on your journey as an athlete. sana understood how much this meant to you, but she can’t help but think that you’re being pulled away from her with the amount of rumors and coverage that you’ve been getting recently. 

she’s happy for you, but at the same time she’s hurt that her longtime best friend that she’s shared more than a third of her life with, was going to walk out on to bigger and better things. an unsaid promise that’s breaking on a thread, and even with the tap water flowing down in her hands and fingers, it feels like you were slipping through sana as well. 

“everything okay?”

sana gasps out startled, water drops stained on your clothes and hers while you chuckled at how easily scared she could get. “sorry to scare you.” you say, placing your chin along the crook of her collar bone, “you’ve been pretty quiet for a bit.”

“well—it’s, uh—“

you look over to the left of her, the screen on your phone showing an article that you’ve already read earlier after, clicking your lips and exhaling out, grabbing your phone to get a closer look to what sana read. 

“it’s just news stuff, sana.” you reassure, “i still have time left to think about everything.”

everything. sana thinks. why won’t you tell me about the good news? we don’t keep secrets from each other. not at all, not ever. so why now? 

“i tried not to read as much.” she says, hiding the lie of worry underneath.

“good, just focus on the now.” you say, patting her back before checking the finished cookie batch in the oven. “let’s go, i put your bags in the car already, so get your shoes.”

“okay. give me your extra hoodie then.”

—

“have you heard about the news with y/n and rin? they’re the biggest talk of the week so far!” sullyoon asks the group of girls at the end of momo’s sleepover, putting down a red five during their game of uno. sana looks up around the table, meeting eyes with the five (including her which makes six) while the light sound of music lowers in order to get a better hearing of the conversation. 

“well, i know that y/n and rin are like the best players out of everyone in the team,” jihyo says, her bright tone making sana smile at the thought of you always striving to be at your best when playing. “so i wouldn’t be surprised if they weren’t being approached by all of the sports biz fanatics.” she slaps down a red plus two, “uno!” 

the next person, maki, draws two cards from the deck, staring at her hand before putting a red seven in the middle. “i know that rin’s already made her deal official, according to the coach after practice following the exit trials.” next was momo’s turn, eating an orange slice before the color changed to blue in the game. 

sana sighs out, placing her hand flat on the table. “y/n has been keeping most of that stuff away from me.” she says, “claiming that she doesn’t want me to worry about her future and all that.” 

“you think so?” sullyoon asks, hugging sana out of sympathy.

“i don’t know,” sana replies, tensing up slightly. “we hardly keep secrets from each other, and we’re open to everything. it just feels weird.” 

“maybe,” momo interrupts, “it could be something other than the whole soccer business.” jihyo slaps momo’s arm, wincing at what she just said before bowing her head as an apology. 

“what do you mean by that?” sana asks quizzically, tilting her head towards her fellow dancing classmate. momo and jihyo both share a look with each other, unsure if it was the right call to even discuss it with the others. as sleepovers go: whatever is said during this time stays between them, so they nod in agreement. 

“well,” momo starts again. “this is kinda obvious to point out, but everyone thinks that you and y/n look good together.” 

“what?” 

“it’s true.” jihyo adds, grabbing a spoonful of the pistachio ice cream that you and sana brought for her. “it’s so obvious.” 

“guys….” sana groans out, “we’ve been over this already. y/n and i have been friends since we were little. there’s no way that she has feelings for me.” 

“you’re not out of the discussion too ya know.” maki butts in to prove the point. “i’ve seen how y/n looks at you everytime there’s games, practices, or even team dinners. she’s got the eyes for you, and they don’t lie.” 

“i–” 

“sana, you’re notorious for being more touchy with everyone here.” jihyo states, “but when you’re with y/n, you just seem even more clingy to her compared to the rest of us.” 

“but that’s how i am!” sana pouts, the argument was too great to go against. the group around the table all share a laugh while sana rolls her eyes. maki looks down at her phone, expression lighting up instantly from what she read. “oooh! we got it! let’s go!” 

“the tickets for the winter festival fair?” sullyoon asks in shock. 

“yep! jeno said that he managed to get some extra tickets for us, better to go now that way there’s nothing fishy going on.” 

the sleepover group all get up collectively to get ready, and sana can’t help but think to herself as to what just happened. pressing the bridge of her nose and sighing out to relive the slight embarrassment she almost put herself through. sana looks back on all of the moments you shared with her, the way you and her would study at the library while waiting for your mom to pick you two up from school, to when sana was scared for her life when you first got your driver's license, all of the moments of arm holding, shoulder bumping, leaning, hugging, sana mindlessly kissing you on the cheek as her way of showing appreciation, the laughs to the point where you’re gasping for air—

“do you know who else is coming?” jihyo asks, almost ready and at the front door. 

“jeno didn’t say, but i think it’s three or four more people.” 

sullyoon taps sana’s shoulder, startling her for a millisecond before catching her breath. “are you just gonna go out like that, sana?” 

“yeah,” sana says. “i’ll get my coat and bags real quick.” 

—

sana clutches onto her handbag while her other hand is balled up into a fist with a heat pack in the pocket. her woolen puffer jacket serving as a solid protector from the chilly outdoors while there’s sets of lights hanging over her, the sound of children laughing and games being won in and around the fair. she’s hanging near the main entrance with momo, sullyoon, and maki just waiting for jihyo to get back from her car.

“i’m so glad we’re able to go today!” sullyoon beams, “i’ve always wanted to come here as a kid!” 

“i mean, they have this every year as it is, it’s just that you’re busy with sleeping all day.” momo says, “when is jihyo coming back? we’ve been here for at least ten minutes already.” 

“she’s getting something from the car, and jeno called me to hang back so that we can all get the tickets together.” maki replies, checking her phone to see if he texted or not. she looks up, “there they are!”

sana along with the three turn their heads towards a small group of people approaching them. jihyo with her trusty small backpack behind her, along with jeno who was actually working at the gate for the parking lot before finishing up, and then there were tzuyu and mina who also tagged along. 

her eyes catch one person adjacent to tzuyu’s left side, you. 

though it hadn’t been that long, given that it was roughly about three or four days of the sleepover, sana scans your whole look that simply exemplifies a cool, hype girl similar to momo’s and mina’s hip style. your hair was neatly done, complemented by the sleek black cropped puffer jacket layered under with a simple hoodie with wide-fitted pants and cool sneakers - you made the effort to look good whenever and wherever you went, making the whole world your runway. 

the small group combines with the other waiting at the entrance, exchanges of hi’s and hugs are being shared all around and sana makes her way to you while you stood still as always, unmoved or unfazed like a stone. you greet sana with a simple, “hi.” with the same energy and tone you always had with her, smiling when she tilts her head to return the greeting. 

“didn’t expect you to come.” sana says, pulling your bottom lip out with a sad look from the first words she uttered towards you. 

“well, surprise!” you cheer, raising your hands lightly to commemorate the present moment before chuckling from embarrassment, “actually, jeno texted me if i was free and jihyo said that you guys were pretty much done with the slumber party so we just moved your bags back into my car for after.” 

“alright, is everyone here?” jihyo asks the group, being the natural leader that she is. jeno is right behind her, talking to one of his coworkers explaining the whole ticket situation to make it easier to get in and before you know it, everyone makes their way inside the festival. 

“you chilly?” you question sana, placing the outer part of your fingers across her cheek, sana starts to burn up from the sudden contact. 

“i have a heat pack,” she replies, pulling it out of her pocket before placing it against your face, feeling the fingertips grazing your cheek as the heat pack warms up your face just enough to hide the red color from breaking through. sana pulls it away soon after while you two catch up with the group up ahead. 

sana looks over again, the sight of you being lost in the bright lights with the sound of kids running and screaming happily all in her vision. sana can’t help but wonder about the endless thoughts she’s seen and heard from you after all these years of being close friends—but you’re quick to come back to earth to catch sana leering. 

“my turn to say you’re staring off into space again. ” 

sana clears her throat while you try to stifle your laugh, causing her to tap your arm and act all hurt because of it. “not funny.” 

“you said it to me! were you dozing or were you looking at the lights?” 

“shut up.” sana says, keeping her gaze locked forward while the group stops at the center of the fairgrounds. after a brief discussion of what to do, here was the plan: games and rides plus eating in between.

“you ready to have a fun day at the fair?” sana asks you, bright-eyed with excitement.

“i’ll always follow you, sana. lead the way.” 

—

to jihyo, momo, tzuyu, and the rest of the group you were with, it was just a normal hangout with friends. but with sana, this was just another typical hangout or date that was filled with endless amounts of fun no matter what was happening or where you and her would go to do it. 

despite the chill that seems to envelop everyone around the fairgrounds, prompting people to huddle close to one another to keep warm, the cold doesn’t seem to bother you even when you’re able to see your own breath. sana might have underestimated the elements this time around, staying closer to you and being more clingy how she normally is with her arm linked with yours while waiting in line for rides or watching tzuyu get a chance at one of the many fair games. 

you and sana both indulged in the activities around the grounds too, winning a small shiba plushie from the ring toss that sana wanted, to winning the horse race by spraying water into the target. there was also a fierce competition of who can shoot the basketball in a contest between you, mina, and jihyo. mina won that challenge surprisingly, since park jihyo doesn’t even know how to shoot a basketball in the first place. 

the group settles in a sea of tables for a food break. you and sana both share a funnel cake plate where sana would be dying of laughter (again) when your nose is riddled with whipped cream, getting a rise out of everyone because of how stupid you looked. you’re not an easy person to lose to, so you scooped a finger of whipped cream before smearing it over sana’s cheek, leaving her completely shocked while it was your turn to laugh at her again while she made an angry pout towards everyone. sana looks over to you again with a soft glance in your eyes, a look of love—and she can’t stop the heat rising in her cheeks the more you indulge in her features, like time slowed down around you two for an eternity.

sana wants to know what you’re keeping from her, to peer into your eyes like she has multiple times before. the chances for her to initiate something that should be second nature to her as a close friend, but there’s something pulling within that’s holding back from doing so. you look out towards the crowd and the group around the table again before tzuyu says that they should do some more stuff before leaving. 

there’s few more fair games played here and there, and maki points out to you at a soccer shootout challenge, and the guy that’s in charge of the attraction calls you forward to step up and try. it was really nothing too difficult, just a penalty shootout but the robot goalkeeper was famous for blocking nearly 99% of everyone’s attempted shots. like the cool individual you were, you treated it like any normal set piece during practices and matches. the group behind you all got low with energy before you started the run up, hitting the ball perfectly into the top corner where the machine goalie couldn’t reach. 

everyone was left in awe while you just simply shrugged your shoulders, the guy in the attraction in disbelief that you managed to get it in, especially on the first try. well, i mean, you are a burgeoning professional soccer player, so maybe it could be a fluke or just pure talent. sana watches you pick out a prize from the top row, which was a huge polar bear. she could see it as your spirit animal, so it was a perfect choice. 

it was almost the end, and most of the rides were on their last call before closing. “we should do this one as our last!” jihyo yells, pointing to one of the biggest rollercoasters the festival had. the format of the kart was weird, the front row was only two people with the rows being three seats a person, and the group that you and sana were with totaled up to eight people. “who wants to take the front row?” maki asks, looking amongst the group. 

“i want to!” sana answers, raising your hand up to volunteer.

“ahhh, about that.” you start. “i think i might just sit this out.” 

“what?!” jeno exclaims, “why?” 

you don’t think twice about it, but you clinch sana’s hand before she could approach jihyo to ask if she wanted to join the front row with her. “it’s my least favorite ride here. i have bad experiences with this roller coaster specifically.” 

sana twists around, noticing her hand being pulled by you. “but you’ll be with me? we’ve gone on a bunch of rides around here already! just one more, please?” 

“guys, really. i’m good, don’t worry about me.” 

“you can take a soccer ball to the face, but won’t get on the rollercoaster ride with the rest of us?” maki asks, rolling your eyes from the question.

you bite the inside of your cheek, trying to ignore the group collectively convincing you to get on for one more ride before going home. looking away wasn’t gonna help and sana pulls your head back down with her hand before she looks at you intensely. 

“alright, for this ride i’ll go with you guys.” 

everyone cheered, and you’re probably regretting agreeing to get on the ride. 

because you hate heights. 

and here you were, on the front row about to get into the ride. no turning back now even when you’re already strapped in. “you look pale.” sana says, looking over to you while you kept your face straight ahead. “oh i’m fine,” you reply. “i just didn’t think you forgot about my thing with high places.” 

“oh, we can ask to get off if you want.”

“no. i’ll stay here. i want to do this.” you cough out, clutching sana’s hand for comfort, clinching tightly while sana looks at the difference in size from her hands to yours. it wasn’t that big, but your hand was slightly larger than hers, perfectly placed as it should belong—where it was meant to be all this time. 

the ride starts forward, jihyo whoops out in excitement while tzuyu cringes next to her. momo was also along the pair in the row behind, with mina, maki, and jeno in the last row while it stars to ascend slightly. your heart is beating by the second, the more the car got close to the top. you’re holding sana’s hand throughout the entire time and before you knew it, it was at the peak before the big drop. 

“sana,” you start, “i just… wanted to let you know about something...” sounding like you were about to die with the amount of hyperventilating you’re doing. sana is left bewildered, stunned at the fact that you’re not even looking up towards the view. she wants to say something, to calm you down, but her words are jumbled to not even speak. “wha–” 

the rest of your words are barely registered in sana’s mind with the added suspension of just literally hanging in the rollercoaster. but sana couldn’t believe that of times and places, you’d address it this way: your feelings for sana. being confessed right out of your mouth. then, gravity and machinery play their role to bring you two back to earth. 

sana is mentally checked out by the time the ride comes back down to the loading dock. you’re still holding her hand when the harnesses are lifted, and you nudge sana to stop her from zoning out while everyone else behind you was already on their way towards the exit. “c’mon, they’re waiting for us at the end of the photo section.” 

at the beginning of this hangout, sana was the one leading. now at the end of it, you’re stepping up to be the one first going forward when you reach the group waiting for you and sana right outside of the ride. the remainder of walking around before getting to the parking lot, sana was just silent when she’s tailing behind you before stopping with the rest of the group.

“i think that was a fun time.” momo says, holding up sullyoon who was a bit sleepy after a long and fun day. “so i guess this means we’re all heading home now?” 

“well, jihyo and i are gonna get some food.” maki says, leaning her head on jeno while he was yawning. “what about you sana?” 

sana looks up, confused, her head spinning trying to think about all of the things that just happened in the span of twenty minutes. she stays quiet for a second, before trying to say—

“i think i’ll have to pass.” you answer for her. “i’m pretty tired as it is, but i can take sana home since we put her bags in my car.” you say, reminding jihyo why it took a bit longer to meet up with the rest of the peeps earlier. 

“okay.” jihyo says, looking over to tzuyu and mina. “i guess we’ll see you guys later?” 

“yeah, just let me know when the next thing happens.” 

goodbyes are being shared, and you’re already putting distance from the rest of the group with sana, walking over to your car as the silence fills up the air when you get inside. sana clicks her seatbelt in, and before you start the car, you look over. “sana.” 

she answers with her eyes landing on you, the same worried look you had when you talked to her about the whole exit trial situation at the cafe, not saying anything still before she hums in response. “you okay?” 

“yeah. i’m good. just tired.” 

you nod, not even putting a piece of mind how much of an idiot you were. sana wants to be mad at you, for keeping something from her that was vitally as important to anything that was happening in her life. that, and the fact that you basically confirmed everything that sana assumed for a little more than over two years. you laid the first move, now it was her turn. what was she gonna do?

after a very short car ride, it was already midnight. sana proposed to get her stuff from the back of your car, but you insisted that it was better for her to get inside and just wait until the next morning to get it. perks of living next door to each other really has some benefits, so sana doesn’t even argue. 

once you reach the porch at sana’s front door to her house, she stops before opening the door, turning to face you under the overhanging light. “there’s something that’s been bothering me.” she says, hands to her side. you’re looking up from the bottom of her steps before walking to match her level. 

“you sound mad.”

“i am.” 

the pin drops in your heart, playing back the many things that you could’ve done to set sana in this mood. “was it something i said?” 

sana nods. and you’re connecting the dots, thinking about the moment back on the rollercoaster. the gears click, “look–i’m sorry—about what i said earlier.” 

“y/n.” sana says, letting any rational second thought out the window. “just, hear what i have to say.” 

sana collects herself before taking in a deep breath, the weight of her heart pouring out while the words are filling your ears. she lets you know how much you mean to her, and even more. sana took a leap a faith, in the hopes that you could understand her feelings. the anxious demeanor you have suddenly washed away, smiling down as sana stutters at your face. 

“sana. i know.” 

“you–”

pulling sana in for a hug, she melts under your grasp, clinging to you for dear life, not wanting for you to leave her space even though that’s the endgame in all of this. so she smiles, where you can’t see, gently holding her face to make her look up to you with wide eyes. “how do you want to go about this?” 

you don’t say anything, leaning down with half-lidded eyes, letting the action speak for itself as sana does the same. nearly filling the space between your faces and lips, before the door abruptly opens. “sana!” her mom says, causing you to push her away slightly to not raise any more suspicion. “oh! y/n, sorry i didn’t know that you were taking sana home.”

“sorry to scare you mama tozaki.” you say,hand behind sana’s back. “we were just talking as always. you know how we are.” sana’s mom hums in response, knowing how good you were for them now as a long time friend. she lets sana know to get inside soon before closing the door to give you and her some privacy. you’re clearing your throat while sana fixes her hair.

“so, i’ll see you soon again?” you ask, sana nods, hiding the pink from her face. “yeah,” sana says, “i’ll text you.”

“cool. i can bring your bags tomorrow, or later.” 

“great. goodnight y/n.” 

“night, sana.”

sana steps into the house and makes way to her room upstairs. she sees through the windward looking out of you walking past her front yard to your house, in good spirits that she finally took her chance and hopes that you’ll do something about it before you leave home for good. 

—

some weeks pass and all of a sudden, sana’s celebrating her birthday in her house. bombarded by her friends, relatives, and anyone that she has made some sort of connection with to send blessings and regards on her special day. 

even after being surprised with a session at the spa to the party back home blowing the candles, she still hasn’t seen you all day which makes her worried that you might’ve forgotten about her despite sending her a lovely birthday text. once everyone cleared out of the house when it was almost sunset times, she answers the doorbell to see you standing there with one of the simplest street fashion outfits with a racer jacket with baggy jeans, holding out a bouquet or roses that makes her gasp at the image.

“sorry for being late, i came to scoop you up.”

“where are we going?” 

“you’ll see. it’s a surprise.” 

that said surprise was a spot on a hill, the cute picnic setup with a bag and basket full of your and sana’s favorite assorted foods and snacks with a wine bottle set next to it. sana was left in amazement with the effort you put into planning to get all of this together. “you planned all of this for me?” 

“i had dex chip in with the idea. but yes, just us together, nowhere else.” 

you’re passing sana some fruits while she’s rambling about how well she’s been treated all throughout the birthday, and lending an ear while you just watch sana have the brightest ever smile that looks best on her. 

it could knock the wind out of you more and more times the second she sets eyes back to you, and you’d get back up every single time because you will. 

sana feels your gaze burning through, the way the curve of your smile tugs across your face, the beauty mark you have on the lower half of your cheek, that one dimple that sana always pokes at when you scrunch your face in annoyance. her head falls a bit, lost in the map of your face when you raise an eyebrow, grabbing her hand to clasp with both when she stops speaking. “i think, it’s best if you know what’s going on with me.” 

sana stops short, undivided attention now on you when you sip the last bits of your wine from the glass. her heart feels like it could stop at any moment, but she’s seen you at your worst in and out of soccer, this was no different. 

“i got a contract offer.” the bombshell announcement that was all but bound to happen. 

“where?”

“it’s overseas,” you reply. pulling your knees closer to your body, feet wiggling through the socks. “this has been everything i ever wanted in my life, but there’s one thing missing.” 

“and that is?” 

“you.”

sana’s left stunned, but also relieved that you can say it more properly this time, and not a few hundred feet up in the air. so she stays quiet, letting you take the first chance of setting your feelings to light.” 

“you’ve been with me every step of the way, and i realized at that time. that you mean a lot to me than i could ever grasp.” sana’s trying everything in power to not let the natural urge of affection take over her, she just needs that push to get it across. 

“i like you, sana. i’m just glad to have you in my life to begin with. and i want to express that in ways that i don’t see myself doing.” 

you hear sana giggle, the sentiment of the moment left in limbo as you put your face in your hands, hiding away from embarrassment, but sana pulls your hands away, looking at you with a wistful stare, one that’s been an oath from the start. she looks hopeful, eyes glittering with a galaxy behind it, and leans closer. 

sana kisses you. your best friend for so many years is kissing you. you want it to happen again and again. the kisses on the cheek aren’t anything compared to this feeling, one that you wished you'd done sooner, but that’s not the worry now. your hand slides up to sana’s face, pace steadying the more feel sana’s perfect, cherry scented lips, not wanting to make this moment end. 

you’re the first to pull away, pulling a needy peck out of you that makes her let out that special giggle that is exclusively for you. “three years.” she mumbles out, brushing her lips against yours, “i’ve been waiting for you to say that.” 

expectant as of sana always, she pecks your cheek when you dip your head away from the blushing you have, before you come back around to meet eyes with sana again. “you have… no idea.” 

“don’t make me worry y/n.” sana says, hugging you now, the feeling of leaving not setting in again for a second, and it sucks. “no matter where you go or who you’re with, i’ll be here for you, always. remember that.” 

“i think we’ll be fine.” you say, thumb rubbing the skin of her cheek while she melts to your touch. “we’ve gone through worse things than this, but we have each other.” 

sana leans her head on your shoulder, looking out to the fading sunset as you wish you had more time for moments like these all over again. 

—

it’s mid january, new years has come and gone, classes are back in session. 

you’re sitting on a bench at the airport terminal, sana’s hand in yours. the last few weeks leading up to this have been an absolute dream that you didn’t want to wake up from. doing everything and anything to spend as much time as possible before being sucked into a different world that will swallow you whole. 

you’re not much of a crier, but you can’t help but giggle at the sound of sana’s–actually, your mom’s sniffles when you and sana share a glance at each other. some conversations that you and sana talk about don’t even need words, since sana already occupied half of your mind. 

“i shouldn’t be feeling nervous, but i am.” you say, sighing out with an uncertainty in your tone.

“hey! that’s not the attitude that we talked about in the car.”

“i know, it’s just—one more thing that i didn’t think it would be possible for me to make this far.” 

sana leans into you, holding tightly to your arm even more than usual, it’s her way of comfort. she holds a hand out, a single pinky–a simple promise that sounds easy, but doing it is the difficult part. “promise me, that we’ll keep the space open for us.” 

“what space?” 

“that you’ll come back to me. no matter if we’re millions of miles apart. or if you’re having the hardest of trials, i want to be the one who hears all of it firsthand.” 

“i wouldn’t want it any other way with you sana.” you say, pinky finding hers, coiling together. “i promise with all of my heart.” 

the announcement of your flight is overhead on the PA system. dex, with his immaculate timing, sees you standing up, that makes sana and your parents do the same thing. you turn back to the three behind, giving a reassuring nod that this was the parting of ways. 

your parents are quick to hug you, fighting back the tears from the very people that have sacrificed everything to give you the chance at the dream you dedicated since you were eight years old for. your dad pats you on the head while your mom literally doesn’t want to let you go, but she does eventually. 

seeing them off, it leaves only sana. in the midst of the people walking past you two in the airport, it was just a bubble surrounding you and her. 

“i guess this is it.” you say hand lingering out for hers while sana stays still. “we were always gonna end like this weren’t we?” 

“y/n, stop.” 

you smile, and sana smiles also. laughing to ease the tension of the occasion, but the tears are welling up in your eyes that makes this a bittersweet feeling to swallow. sana steps forward, sinking into your arms, stumbling a bit, the weight from your backpack nearly tipping your over. you’re catching a whiff of sana’s scent in her hair, to make this feeling in a capsule for you to always keep while you’re away. 

sana looks up at you, leaning down for a kiss, for one last time. you’ll come back around, it’s your end of the agreement. because when you do, you’ll drop everything in your hands in trade for sana in a heartbeat. pulling away, and sana finally breaks a string of sniffles. 

“i love you.” you say. 

“please don’t go.” she bants. “i don’t even know what i’m gonna do when you’re not here, who am i gonna go to annoy about my problems with, and—” 

“sana.” you say again, grinning. a single tear streaming down your cheek. 

“i love you.” sana finally says. she’s said it before, with every weight behind the vowels and constants that carry within the eight letters. it’s so sweet like seeing cherry blossoms, you want to get lost in it over and over. “i’ll see you again soon.” 

pulling away with the last touch of the fingertips, sana waves you off across the terminal. escalator ascending upwards and into the unknown territory of your dream. 

--

a/n: hey!!! you're probably wondering why i wanted to rewrite this series in the first place. long story short, i didn't like the direction i took with this idea when i intially started writing. so i wanted to go back and somewhat remix this idea to make it more appealing to my peronal standards :) i hope this version was a lot more to your guys's liking and don't hesitate to give me your thoughts!!

[captainlunaxmen]

All For the Camera

Chapter 6

Finnick Odair x Fem!reader.

Finally! Here we are. I'm sorry, it took me so long. I had to create a new account and transfer all the fics here. And then I never had time to put my mind into this😅

I'm sorry, I hope you guys will like this chapter and let me know if you want to be tagged in the next chapters.❤️❤️❤️

Chapter summary: the interviews!

Chapter warnings: mention of death, Cal is a warning, suicide hint (very light, but still)

Tag list

@guacam011y @justtrying2getby @idontevenknow1359 @alexandra-001 @bambikitten @maggiecc @redh00dsbf @haneybunny @1-800-styles @sisiking99 @merromimo @yourdailymemedelivery @regsg18 @gordorio @bambikitten @gracieeleanorr @shev3nom @honethatty12 @savingprivatecass @erindiggory @martahabla @sterredem @aawdrea @wpdarlingpan @strawberry--fawn @barbarathewanderer @ih8books @a-mysterious-potato @mayonesavegana @celinaiscrying @katherinejess @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @abaker74 @syd649

I'm sorry if I can't tag everyone😔🥺

I walk into the living room, towards the big table finding Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch already there having breakfast... well Katniss and Peeta are, Haymitch just started drinking.

"Morning," I say sitting down.

"Good morning." Peeta smiles at me, a little forced, which I get... tomorrow they'll be sent to the arena.

"Hi." Katniss says.

"Morning, princess." Haymitch hands me a tea cup, I look at it rather suspiciously and when Haymitch smiles proudly I know he put some alcohol in it... so I take it.

Gladly.

"Good morning, everyone. Today's an important day!" Effie cheery voice echoes in the whole apartment as she enter and sit with us for breakfast.

"Indeed." I say with a sigh.

"When the whole team supposed to be here, Y/n?" She asks me.

"Uhm... around 5pm." I tell her.

"This means we will use this time to come up with a proper strategy, since you refuse any alliance." Haymitch then turns to me, "you'll help?"

"I can't... Plutarch wants to see me." I sadly say, "last minute details to fix, I think."

Haymitch nods.

"Can't you give us a tiny bit of hint?" Peeta jokes.

"Unfortunately, I can't say anything." I shrug standing up taking my jacket with me.

"Fine, keep your secret, Princess." Haymitch says, winking at me as I near the elevator doors. I smile at everyone and enter the elevator.

"Beware of the time, guys. Always." I say before the doors close.

------------------

"No allies?" Plutarch asks in disbelief, handing me a glass, he stands next to his desk in his office.

"No allies." I reply, slowly shaking my head no.

He sighs deeply, then stands up and moves a hand to his chin thinking.

"But..." I start, pointing his attention back on me, "Haymitch and I will take care of it." He arches an eyebrow, questioning, "I promise."

"They know nothing, right?" He checks.

"They know less than nothing." I tell him.

"Good." He nods, "the president doesn't want you to participate in the interview this year."

"Really?" I ask.

Usually Snow insisted on me being interviewed after all the tributes', to have the Capitol's people being represented, as he put it. It's a relief.

"Yeah, he only wants you to be interviewed almost at the end." He informs me, "you know, to have more people follow, waiting to hear from you, both about your tributes and your... wedding."

"Please, do me a favour... don't mention my wedding." I groan, "I'm not really planning on attending. You know."

He sends me a knowing look, then proceeds to hand me a piece of paper.

"What is it?" I ask, examining it.

"The 12 threats in the arena."

"I see he did enjoyed my ideas..." I say swallowing hard.

"You fooled him. He does think you're... coming around." Plutarch compliments me.

"No," I shake my head, reading the list, "no one can fool him. He doesn't trust anyone. He never underestimate anyone."

"Oh, my dear, we did." He smiles. "He has no suspects, whatsoever."

"You think?"

"We would be dead now, if he did." He reason and I nod, agreeing.

"It makes sense... but I still don't feel secure enough." I tell him.

"And you shouldn't." He sits next to me, "we're at the point we can't afford feeling secure. Not even for a moment."

I nod.

"Did... uhm..." I start, my mouth feeling dry all of a sudden, "did... Cal come by... recently?"

"Cal Kingslay?"

"Yeah..."

"No."

"Do you know if he talked to any of the other Gamemakers?" I insist.

"Not that I know of... and trust me, I would know." He tells me, "did he tell you something?"

"Just that he would make sure to not have... competition anymore." I sigh, closing my eyes frustrated.

"Just another thing to keep an eye out for." He pats my back, "now, "he stands again, "tonight's interviews. The tributes will try all they can to stop the games."

"Good fucking luck." I scoff, sadly.

"They'll try everything. So... we need to talk about the remote... very remote chance that they succeed." He continues.

"Yeah... sure." I say, fully unconvinced.

"It might happen." He keeps a dead serious tone, "loved victors, tributes the Capitol consider 'family', they just might succeed."

"Now, that's pretentious." I say, taking a big gulp from my glass, "but okay... so what if they succeed?"

"It's quite simple," he starts, "you will get to-"

A hard knock on the door interrupts him. Plutarch looks at me, tensing, giving me a look to say to stay calm and natural.

"Yes?"

"Sorry, Mr Heavensbee, Cal Kingslay is here to see you." One of the other Gamemakers announces, I look at Plutarch hoping to find comfort. He does looks at me with determination, so I know he will take care of it.

"Let him in." Plutarch agrees.

Not long after, Cak enters the room, before he can greet Plutarch, he notices me.

"My sweetness, what a surprise!" He exclaims.

"Hi, Cal." I say forcing out a smile.

"Miss L/n is my apprentice, I'm sure you knew she would be here." Plutarch says.

"Yes, I admit I was hoping to catch her. With all of her... obligations, I barely see her." Cal tries to justify himself, "I'm sure you can understand how love can be."

"Yeah... I have an idea." Plutarch smiles, after getting to know him, I can recognise when he's true and fake, and that's definitely a fake smile.

"So you get it..." he sighs, dreamily, "I can't wait to marry her," he looks at me, slightly biting his lips, "I'll finally have her full attention."

"Oh well, I hope you'll let us spend some time with her too," Plutarch challenges him, "she has a great brain. Plus she's my apprentice, she might be the next head Gamemaker one day."

"Yeah," Cal grits out, not liking at all the idea, "I'm sure we could think of something. "

"But, Mr Kingslay, tell me, did you want to talk to me about something?" Plutarch asks, putting his hands in his pocket, to show Cal he's not intimidated.

"Oh yes, actually I do." Cal nods, then turns to me, walking up to me taking my hands in his, "would you mind leaving us, sweetheart?"

"Sure." I say, probably way too quickly, my eyes fall to the clock on the wall "of course. I have to get back and help some of the Tributes get ready, anyway."

Cal kisses my hands softly, I fight the urge to snatch my hands back.

"I'll see you tomorrow for the beginning, miss L/n." Plutarch smiles.

"Of course, Mr Heavensbee."

I start to walk to the door, Cal reluctantly lets me go and I subtly rush out as soon as I can.

I jump immediately into the car ready to get back to the tributes centre.

------------------

I go to check in with Cinna about Katniss' outfit for tonight.

He leads me to the dressing room and my jaw drops as I spot the wedding dress in the middle of it.

"Oh my god..." I breath out.

"Glad you like it." Cinna says.

"If anything goes South and I end up marrying that cunt, I'm glad you're the one they chose to make my dress" I tell him, getting closer to the dress to inspect it better.

"You'd be a beautiful bride. Regardless of the husband." He compliments me and I genuinely smile at this.

"Thank you."

"I also added a special touch to it." He whispers.

"What did you do?" I ask, getting nervous.

"You'll see tonight." The determined look he has as he says this freezes me to the stop.

"Cinna..." I start, "what did you do?"

He just winks at me. "C'mon, go take a seat."

I reluctantly follow him out so he can be ready to help Katniss put on the dress, and I go find Haymitch, I take my seat next to him as Ceasar starts the show.

As always Ceasar hosts the show with his usual laugh and cheerfulness.

"Thank you, thank you!" He address the audience once he took his place in the center of the stage, "Thank you for being here tonight! On the eve of the 75th Hunger Games!" He laughs, "we have never seen anything like this and we will never see anything like it, again. Because tonight, on thus stage 24 of Panem's brightest starts will view for the ultimate crown. Tonight will be their final opportunity to express their thoughts. Our final opportunity to express our love and heartbreakingly to say goodbye to all but one."

Hypocrisy.

"What a night." He softly says, before screaming again, "let's hear it!"

And the crowd cheers louder than before.

"And I know, I know all of you want the gossip about THE wedding of the year, but you will have to wait."

The crowd makes sounds of disapproval, even though the cheering atmosphere remains.

"Can't spoil all the fun, can we?" He laughs again, "but don't you worry, the royal couple will tell us all the details eventually." He winks at the audience and finally the interviews can start.

"Kill me now." I whisper to Haymitch.

"And steal the fun to the president? Nah..." he jokes and I can't help but chuckle and move my attention back to the show.

Of course they start with district 1, Cashmere and Gloss, they interview them together and of fucking course, Cashmere will use the tears to try and make people stop the games... not the smartest choice, but still a choice.

Then it's 2 turn, then 3 where Beetee obviously tries to use logic, but unfortunately the Capitol's people are not smart enough to understand.

Then four...

I take a deep breath, hoping Finnick won't say anything he might regret.

"Finnick," Ceasar addresses him, "I understand that you have a message for somebody out there. A special somebody." He laughs, and Finnick shows his perfect smile, his perfect forced smile the Capitol loves so much, "can we hear it?" He then asks.

Finnick looks quickly out in the audience, I see him spotting me and I can see the slight hint of an actual smile on his lips.

"My love," he starts seriously and my breath is caught in my throat, "you have my heart, for all eternity, and" he pauses for a moment, " if... I die in that arena, my last thought will be of your lips."

"Guess he didn't listen to you, uh?" Haymitch says before drinking from his flask.

"No, he didn't." I sigh. I just hope Cal won't think anything of it.

Each victor has their own way of dealing with this special games and interviews. Some tries to pity the audience, some treats it as a normal interview and then there are some like Johanna who just want to let out all the anger they feel. Which is exactly what I would love to do myself.

Cinna arrives, and takes a seat on the other sode of me, Katniss must be ready.

"It's our turn, princess." Haymitch pats my knee as Ceaser announces Kantiss' arrival.

As Katniss joins Ceasar on stage I can finally admire the dress properly. She looks absolutely beautiful, it makes me even angrier knowing it's not her choice.

"You look fabulous!" Ceaser compliments her, "doesn't she?" He asks the audience who claps their hands vivaciously as Katniss just stands there, smiling, acting like the happy bride the Capitol wants.

"Now, Katniss, this is a very big and very emotional night for all of us. Wouldn't you say?"

"Don't go crying on me now, Ceasar." Katniss teases.

"I can't make promises you know me." He laugh with her, enjoying the exchange.

"You know I wouldn't believe you, even if you did." Katniss, surprisingly, jokes again and Ceaser laughs even harder.

"I love her!" Ceaser exclaims, "the firl on fire is so cheeky!" He slowly turns more serious, "but Katniss, on a more serious note. I think we're all a little disappointed, more than a little disappointed, that a certain wedding did not take place. We all hoped to celebrate a double wedding this year. Didn't we folks? Alas. But am I correct in assuming that this is the gown that you would have worn on that day, yes or no?"

As Ceaser speak, I watch Katniss tensing.

"Yes, president Snow thought everyone would want to see it." Katniss answer, with a fake sweet smile at the end.

"Well, President Snow, as usual, was right. Was he not, folks?" He cheers. "I love it! I love it! Don't you love it, folks? It's incredible. It's so gorgeous. Will you do us the honour? Please? Please? Please?"

Ceaser looks like a child asking for candy as he steps back a little to let Katniss have more space to spin.

I tense up in my seat, glance slightly to Cinna next to me.

As Katniss spins her dress, as expected, catches on fire... but it's burning the dress now, I look at Cinna questioning then back at Katniss.

The dress burns to the point of having wings appearing on her...

"It's a bird!" Ceaser exclaims, trying to guess, "it's got feathers. It's like a bird..."

I recognise the Mockingjay.

I look at Cinna, then at Haymitch, who has a stern look on his face.

"Your stylist certainly has outdone himself this time, hasn't he?" Ceaser comments, shock written all over his face, " what theatricality! Cinna!" He then calls, "take a bow!"

The cameras are now on Cinna who stands and takes all the applauses the crows is giving him.

But Snow is not going to like it...

I pretend to cheer like everyone else, but inside I'm scared, defeated...

As the cheers die down a little, to let Katniss exit the stage and join the other tributes, we sit back down and I feel Cinna taking my hand to give it a reassuring squeeze before letting go. A way of saying "it's okay."

Once Peeta gets on stage, Ceasar doesn't waste any more time and asks again about the wedding.

"But, Peeta, the wedding, the marriage, never to be?" He asks.

"Well, actually, we got married." The crowd whispers and gasps, "in secret." He adds.

Nice move, Peeta.

"A secret wedding?" Ceasar asks with a laugh. "All right. Do tell."

"We want our love to be eternal."

A bunch of 'awws' erupt from the audience.

"You know, Katnis and I, we've been luckier than most. And I wouldn't have any regrets at all if it weren't... if..." he starts to stutter.

I wonder what he has in mind, I again try to look for answers in Haymitch, but he is just as interested as I am.

"If it weren't for what? What?" Ceasar urges him.

"If it weren't for the baby." Peeta finally says.

The audience explodes at this. People shouting, gasping, waving their hands, ceasar tries to contain the situation, but fails.

I see Peeta looking towards us, with the faintest smirk and me and Haymitch nod at him, quite surprised.

"Did you suggest it?" Haymitch asks.

"Nope." I say, "you?"

"Neither."

Ceaser motion for Peeta to join the others, clearly he has no idea what to do to calm the people, who simply keep on screaming to stop the games.

But as Ceasar keeps trying to contain the theater, the tributes behind him grab each other's hands to raise them together.

This fills my heart with hope, but the lights are cut off soon and the whole room falls into darkness.

-----------------

I can't help my bouncing leg as we all wait for Plutarch to come out and tell us the fate of the games.

"He won't cancel them." I whisper to Haymitch, making sure the other mentors and guards can't listen, "not now that he has a chance to kill her for good."

"I know." He sighs, patting my legs.

"And Cinna.." I choke out.

"I know, I know."

The doors open and Plutarch comes out with a look that doesn't bring good news.

"The games are still on." He simply says before walking off.

Everyone, walk away to the elevators.

We meet Effie on the way.

"So?" She asks and we shake our heads, "oh poor kids..."

The elevator ride to 12 is silent.

We find Katniss and Peeta in the living room.

"Baby bomb was a stroke of genius." Haymitch starts, I nod, "Unfortunately, games are still on. This is a goodbye, for now."

Katniss nods, determined and defeated at the same time.

"Presents." Effie chimes in, I can see her eyes are humid though, "for you three."

She hands me, Haymitch and Peeta a small box.

"What is this?" Haymitch asks, opening his box and finding inside a golden bracelet resembling flames, I open mine and find a golden ring, similar to Haymitch's bracelet.

"Your token, remember?" Effie tells him, "hair for me, pin for Katniss. Gold bangle for you, gold ring for Y/n and for Peeta the medallion we talked about."

"Thank you, Effie." Peeta says, voice soft with gratitude.

"We're a team." She says, "aren't we?"

I can tell she cares so much about this two, it warms my heart.

Katniss nods, giving her a sweet smile.

"Of course we are." I agree.

"And I am so proud of my Victors," she says, hugging Peeta, "so proud" she hugs Katniss, "you both deserved so much better." She's fully crying now, so I gently rub her back, "I am truly sorry."

She lets out one last small sob and walk away leaving us four.

"Thank you, both." Peeta hugs Haymitch while Katniss wraps her arms around me.

"Thank you, Y/n. Really." She whispers and I nod, giving her one last squeeze before letting go.

I turn to hug Peeta.

"Don't lose yourself in there, okay?" I ask.

"Never." He hugs me tightly, "Thank you."

We pull away, I give him a smile, both to assure him and to give me strength.

"Any last advice?" Katniss asks Haymitch.

"Stay alive." He answers.

And we both walk away, though Katniss calls Haymitch back and I keep going towards the elevator.

To district 4 apartments.

I step into the room, looking around, I hear someone coming and my eyes lock with Mags'. With just one look, she knows why I'm here.

She walks to me to embrace me, squeezing me tighter to assure me she's okay.

I pull away to look at her.

"I'm sorry." I whisper and she shakes her head, puts a hand on her heart and hugs me one more time before walking away.

Soon after Finnick comes out, clearly looking for me. He softly smiles at me and shrugs.

"Hey," he greets, "think positively... You'll get to see me in action again."

I roll my eyes, I still keep a distance, none of us dare to step closer.

"Don't do anything stupid." I warn him.

"As if..." He's still smiling, "you got me out once. I trust you."

I nod, my eyes burn and I blink to keep the tears at bay.

"Stay alive long enough to let me." I say, softly, he nods.

We stay silent for a moment. I'm scared, I don't know what could happen in the arena, I don't know if any of the threats will hurt him, I don't know if he will survive...

I rush to him, I hug him tightly and he immediately reciprocates, holding me to him.

I don't need him to speak to know all he wants to say. That everything is going to be okay, that we will get them all out, that we will finally go to 13 and start this rebellion... just like I don't need him to speak to know he's scared, just like me.

I don't want to let go, I just want to stay like this, in the warmth of his arms.

He kisses the top of my head, giving me one last squeeze before pulling away just enough to look at me.

"I trust you." He repeats, "my love."

I nod, determined to get him and everyone out of there.

I see him moving a hand to my face, wiping away a tear I haven't noticed. He keeps the hand there and I really wish I could just give in... for once.

Thankfully, or not, we hear the elevator's doors opening so we pull away, I quickly wipe my face from any possible tear and pull myself together.

"Is there any... oh!" Cal's voice makes me jump, I wasn't expecting him at all, "My princess! What are you doing here?"

I can sense his tone is accusatory and I don't like it, not one bit.

"I was simply wishing him and Mags good luck for the games, Cal." I quickly explain, I can see in the corner of my eyes Finnick nodding his head, forcing out his confident smile.

"Aw... how sweet." Cal says, flatly, which means he is either not convinced or he doesn't like it, both option aren't good.

"But what are you doing here?" I ask, walking to him.

"Oh you know," he starts, wrapping an arm around me, possessively, "general's duties to perform. After the caos in the theatre we wanted to make sure there were no more... inconveniences." He says looking straight at Finnick, whose expression turns serious, angry.

"Well, as you can see, everything is in order." I tell him, putting a hand on his chest, maybe this will distract him.

"Is it?" Again with the accusatory tone.

"Of course." I smile, "why wouldn't it be?"

Cal considers me for a moment, that seems endless, he then smiles, as if to appease me.

"No reason, of course." He turns to look at Finnick, tightening his grasp on me, "May the odds be ever in your favour."

"Thanks, Cal." Finnick nods, " I can't wait to be back to you."

Finnick says this both to show Cal he's not scared and also as a message for me.

"Neither can I." Cal say through gritted teeth.

He then walks back to the elevator, dragging me to with him.

I take one last glance at Finnick, his fists clenching, he winks at me before I have to turn away from him.

Cal's arm is still around me when the doors close.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" He asks.

"Uhm... no?" I pretend to be confused, "why? Is something wrong?"

I turn to face him, but his hand is suddenly grabbing me by the neck, pushing me against the elevator's wall. My eyes widen and immediately hold his wrist to push him off.

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you, my sweetness?" He asks, with a sweet tone, which terrifies me even more.

"No... Cal..." I weakly mutter out.

"No?" He asks again.

"Of... of course not." I keeo try to push him away, "you're.. you're hurting me, Cal." I choke out.

"I hope you enjoy your little job..." he move his face closer to mine, "because once we're married... you belong to me, my princess, do you understand?" He growls, and I nod, "say it."

"I... I understand." Speaking feels so hard.

"Good girl." He smiles.

"Let... let go..." I ask, never once stopped pushing at his hand.

"Your fight is one of the things I love the most about you, you know?" He whispers, his lips too close to mine now, "but I won't tolerate it much longer."

I nod in understanding.

"Yes... C-cal." I say, after he slightly glared at me.

"Good girl." He says before kissing me.

He lets my neck go and I gasp for air, pushing him away as I catch my breath. His hand find its way into my hair, he grabs it and pulls me up again.

"Have a good night, tomorrow's is a big day." He whispers into my ear.

He leaves a kiss on my cheek, and thankfully the doors open again to the first floor, and he steps out of the elevator.

I still catch my breath, but when the doors close, I collapse on the floor. I can't keep in the sobs forming in my throat. I softly caress the skin of my neck, it's going to bruise tomorrow, I'll have to ask Effie to help me cover it up.

I take a very deep breath, pull the jacket around and wait for the elevator to arrive back to 12.

Everything is quiet and dark, maybe everyone is asleep, so I walk into the kitchen to get some water.

"Hey."

I jump and turn around, Peeta looks at me alarmed. I let out a sigh of relief once I see him.

"Sorry... hi." I say.

"Are you okay?" He cautiously walks closer.

"Yeah... yeah, I'm okay, Peeta." I tell him, I notice his eyes are on my neck and I quickly cover it.

"What happened?" He asks.

"Nothing, really don't worry about me." I smile at him.

"You remember my first night here?" He asks and I nod, sighing as I already know what he's hinting at, "I asked you not to worry about me, but you ignored me, stayed and helped me feel better."

"That was different," I try to smile, "you were about to face death. I'm not."

"But you're my friend." He states.

I look at him, it warms my heart, I know we all created a bond, but hearing him openly calling me a friend makes my heart ache in a good way.

I sigh, deciding to just tell him.

"I met Cal in the elevator." I say, "he found me talking to Finnick and... he definitely didn't like it." I see him opening his mouth to say something, "I'm okay. And I can handle him."

"It... it shouldn't be like that..."

"Just like you all being thrown into an arena to fight for your life." I sadly smile, "I'm okay, Peeta, really."

He nods, gives me one last look, to check on me, and walks back to his room.

I sit in the kitchen, still caressing the skin of my neck. It hurts. I let the tears fall freely.

I need this to go well, we all need this to go well, I don't think I would survive this time if I lose them all...

I wouldn't want to survive.

[uptoolateart]

The Miraculous Child

So, in 'Representation', Felix talks refers to ‘the miraculous boy’ a couple times. He also calls Adrien’s conception ‘a miracle’, meaning Adrien too is ‘miraculous’.

The second I heard this, it hit me that the title of the show has had this extra meaning from day one. If we look right back to the start of the series, it has been a story about children and adults, especially parents, some a little overbearing (like Tom) and some neglectful or downright abusive.

The message I take away is - life, bringing a child into the world, is a miracle. Science tells us how it works, but the fact that it works is almost like magic. Yet, there are people out there who fail to see this and don't value the gift they've been granted.

There will be people reading this and thinking, ‘Yeah? So what about Chloe?’

I hear you.

Audrey is a terrible person, and Andre is no better. When he hauls her off at the end of ‘Revolution’ and says he needs to correct his mistakes, he just sends her away with her mother. He’s washing his hands of ‘a problem’, just like he’s done with everything else, e.g. when he resigned as mayor. He walked away from responsibilities, after creating a mess for the people who voted him into office. Likewise, he walked away from his responsibilities as a father.

Does that excuse Chloe's behaviour towards others, especially Marinette? No. Does it explain it? Yes.

So, let's talk about choice, which has been mentioned several times in the series. Chloe has a choice to become just like one of her parents...or to become something better.

Because, if you think about it, at some point in time, Audrey and Andre and even Gabriel were all children. And children aren't just born nasty. They learn nastiness as they grow up. To become who they are today, they had to have started out in a similar position to Chloe, for example. They represent the potential future for their children.

If we saw them as kids, we'd probably see them being mistreated by the adults in their lives and we'd all sympathise with them and hope for their redemption. But we're seeing them as adults and our instinct is to say oh well, too late, they're just awful people. In fact, they could redeem themselves at any point, as demonstrated by Nathalie's turnaround in Season 5. It's just that, the more awful things you've done, the more you have to atone for. Gabriel would have to do a lot - maybe even have a brain change - to be redeemed. But you see my point.

So, at the end of 'Revolution', we see Chloe at a crossroads. She's on that plane, annihilated by her mother, and hiding by herself in a corner. She browses her contacts and hovers over Sabrina's entry...and her face crumples like her heart is breaking with regrets. Oh, it’s sad.

But she passes over Sabrina and moves onto Marinette. She makes one last attempt to bring her down. It’s an act of desperation – redirecting her own suffering onto another, trying to keep control over things when she’s completely out of control of her own life.

Marinette finally puts her in her place, and we see Chloe fall apart in a real way - for the first time ever. I don't know about you, but I found that very uncomfortable viewing. It was a relief to see Marinette stand up for herself, and it needed to happen...but Chloe's despair was also painful. I think all of those were emotions were intended.

Let’s set Thomas aside here. I don't want to get into debates about what was said on Twitter. He’s not the only writer for the show, anyway. I am just speaking about my personal perception of that scene. Chloe gained heaps of sympathy, after she’d been appalling all season, which was pretty powerful.

The fact is…Chloe needed to be put in her place. But that doesn’t mean she deserved everything she went through. Even so...sometimes these moments are necessary and revelatory. They can be the catalyst for great change.

What I mean is – if you're in denial about your position, redirecting your pain onto others, sometimes you need that wakeup call. You need to hit rock bottom in order to start climbing back up into the light. So, when Chloe fell apart, it was painful...but I also saw it as her potential turning point. As long as she maintained her delusions to escape into at school, it was impossible for her to transform - because she refused to see that there was any change needed. But when you have nothing left…that’s when you might begin rebuilding yourself.

Every episode in Season 5 has had multiple meanings. Looking at 'Revolution', when Chloe was akumatised, she trapped her victims in a maze, going round in endless circles (revolutions). Notably a lot of them were adults.

I think if this had happened early on in Season 4, Adrien would have been trapped morosely in that loop with the others. We saw this kind of thing in 'Guiltrip'. So, it spoke volumes about his growth as a character when he was the first one to seek a way out of Chloe's maze. He immediately used his cataclysm and broke a hole, escaping and letting everyone else out. Metaphorically, what he did was break the cycle. If we think about cycles of abuse, this is what the next generation always has the chance to do - to revolt against the past.

it's interesting, then, that when we got to 'Representation', we saw Cat Noir completely lose it with his father. He needed to let it all out...but he was in danger of going too far...and deep down, he knew it. His worst nightmare was of losing all control, to the point of letting his rage destroy everything he loved. Unconsciously, he's well aware that he runs the risk of becoming like his father. However, his complete breakdown, begging his father to take his miraculous to make it all stop, tells us he won't become like his father - because his conscience is too strong. He wants to break that cycle.

Felix has also done some bad things - but he's begun the journey of redeeming himself and changing. He too is trying to break out of that cycle so he doesn't become like his father.

Kagami is embracing her passionate side, rejecting the coldness and isolation her mother has attempted to breed into her, no doubt due to her own upbringing once upon a time.

And I think there’s definite potential for Chloe to do the same. There’s no reason for anyone to remain caught in these patterns. The trick is to recognise the pattern is there in the first place - because you can’t break free of something if you don’t know you’re imprisoned. At the end of Revolution, I think Chloe finally saw her prison, saw that she was already trapped in her own maze, going round in circles. Now it’s up to her to pull an Adrien and cataclysm the bars that hold her in.

Because like Felix said, over and over – each child is miraculous simply for existing. And miracles should be cherished.

PLEASE NO POST-REPRESENTATION SPOILERS IN COMMENTS :)

[crimson-yogurt]

I think what some people don't see about Wolfwood's death is that the saddest part about it is how borderline happy it is.

It's almost celebratory. The kids of the orphanage and miss Melanie throw confetti and welcome him home as he draws his last breath. It happens away from any sort of action or battle or bloodshed. It happens right next to his best friend, in a moment of serenity and peace, while they share a drink together. He succeeded in saving and sparing his brother's life. He succeeded in saving the orphanage from the clutches of Chapel and what he represented. He has achieved all of his goals. His worst nightmare, being recognized by the orphanage, has turned into relief as they feel nothing but warmth towards him, simply glad to have him back. The church bell rings and confetti falls from the sky. There's nothing left for him to do. He's serene, he's content, his family recognized him and it was OK. His one and only friend is next to him for his final moments. Almost like for a moment everything in the world is OK.

If it was a stereotypical Sad and Melodramatic Anime™️ Death it would have been so unremarkable and predictable. It's calm and somewhat joyful and THAT'S what makes it DEVESTATING. It's heartbreaking in unspeakable ways that it would not have been otherwise. It's so inherently tragic in a way that's ten times more nuanced.

[oftenwantedafton]

Marked - Steve Raglan/William Afton x College Student Female Reader

Finale

Rating - Explicit

Warnings for sexual content and mild violence

Also available on AO3

The apartment is unlocked when you return.

The doorknob feels loose in your hand as you push the door open cautiously.

Inside, the breakfast bar is illuminated by a pair of candles. You see wine and glasses and dishes laid out. A vase of red roses sits nearby. William is at the stove, immediately setting a ladle down on a spoon rest and walking over to greet you.

“Welcome home.”

“How did you get in?”

“Spare key under the mat. Remembered that time you locked yourself out. Wanted to surprise you. Come here.” He pulls you against him, capturing your lips with his then draws back to study your features. “Did you miss me?”

“Yes,” you reply honestly. You look up at him through your lashes. “Did you miss me?”

“You have no idea.” He kisses you again, deeper this time. “I would show you how much right now, but then dinner would be ruined.” He steals one more kiss before turning his attention back to the oven. You remove your coat and scarf and put your travel bag on the floor in the bedroom, deciding laundry and unpacking can wait.

You return to the kitchen to find William humming softly, working on opening up the bottle of wine. He seems especially happy and you think it must be relief that you’re back. Flattered that he’s missed you so much, you prattle about your time away and help him with dinner, completely forgetting any misgivings you’d had before.

“Anything interesting happen while I was away?” You’re feeling a little lightheaded from drinking alcohol on an empty stomach. The candlelight already seems hazy.

“I finally found the perfect candidate for the security position,” he says.

“Well that’s great! Hopefully you can get things repaired and up and running again soon.” You set a colander full of pasta down in the sink and turn to him, frowning. “Didn’t you hire someone already though?”

“It didn’t work out.” He pulls the oven door open, the hot air wafting over you as he slides a loaf of garlic bread off the rack.

“Oh.” You sense a shift in the mood suddenly.

The older man drains his glass, setting it down softly on the counter. “Let’s not discuss work any further tonight.”

You nod and he finishes preparing the meal as if nothing had ever happened.

***

You’re seated on the couch, feeling guilty when William insists on cleaning up and doing dishes. He’s rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt to perform the task and you can’t take your eyes off the springlock scars after he’s finished, sinking into the cushions beside you. He sees you looking, sucking in a deep breath when you gingerly begin to trace the patterns, equal parts terrified and fascinated by them. You know what they represent but you can’t help but stroke them, eliciting a soft moan.

William reaches for the button of your jeans, hurriedly tugging down the zipper. He slides to the floor to his knees in front of you, tugging until the clinging denim and spandex material releases your hips, then your knees, then finally your ankles before you’re free of them. Your panties rapidly follow suit and then he’s between your thighs, eyes locked with yours as he grazes each side of your pelvis with a light kiss. You whimper, scooting closer to the edge of the couch, closer to his waiting mouth.

He teases you still further, planting kisses inside your thighs, narrowly missing the core where you need him most. You know you’re drooling already for him, the honey of arousal slick along your entrance, dewy across your nether lips. His beard chafes your skin, heightening your anticipation. It’s gone beyond wanting; you need him, right now.

His tongue dips between the folds and you arch your back, knotting a hand in his hair, grinding your body against his mouth. He flicks over your clit, thrusts inside your pussy and laps the nectar. He growls against you and the vibration feels amazing. You tighten your grip on his hair and beg for more. A pair of fingers slip inside your well lubricated entrance, curving to massage the inner wall, stroking against your g spot. He sucks your clit hard and you see stars, bucking your hips up, biting your lower lip to keep from screaming. Relaxing your grip, thighs trembling, you struggle to breathe but he’s relentless, continuing until you’re quivering. You feel as if your entire body is liquid, throbbing and tingling.

Somehow he’s managed to open his pants in the process of pleasuring you, trading probing fingers for his cock. He thrusts into you surprisingly gently, taking his time, stoking the flame once again. He sits beside you again and grabs your waist, pulling you back onto his erection. You raise and lower yourself, finding it wet and sloppy like his mouth on your throat. He kneads your breasts then braces your hips as he matches your rhythm and you’re begging for another release, for his release, mewling until you feel him shudder. You taste the salted skin of forehead and massage the crescent scars at the nape of his neck until his breathing returns to normal.

After he’s departed you bring one of the gifted roses to your lips and brush them with velvet petals. The light floral fragrance stirs the air but it’s his body you still smell and feel and taste.

***

It’s several days into the new year, cold but sunny and you can’t help but feel good.

Customers are always more generous with tips near holidays and you’re enjoying your new classes so far. You’ve managed to keep your grades up in spite of all the distractions. You’re in love and maybe the conditions are less than ideal but you’re content.

You volunteer to clear the previous customer’s table, humming the same melody William seems fond of and that’s the precise moment when fate decides to intervene.

If the folded newspaper had been in any other position, you’d probably never have noticed the headlines. But the words security guard and Freddy Fazbear’s immediately catch your eye and you instantly grow silent, lifting the folded print with a feeling of dread.

Local man missing. Authorities have no leads.

Your heart pounds and your hands shake as you continue to grasp fragments, like a drowning person clinging to driftwood.

Last known whereabouts at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria. Recently employed as the night shift security guard. Personal vehicle in parking lot revealed no details. Owner unavailable for comment.

You think back to your conversation with William. How he’d claimed the recent hire “didn’t work out.” How enthusiastic he was about the new employee.

What possible motive could he have for employing these men other than as actual guards?

There was the fact that he was using a false name, too. And the manner in which he insisted you stay away and not get involved. Denying answers to your questions. Not to mention the disturbing rabbit costume.

You roll the paper up, nearly tossing it in the trash before you decide to tuck it into your backpack instead.

If William won’t give you answers, you’ll have to discover them on your own.

***

The campus library is less busy at the start of a new semester, when many students are not as enthusiastic about prospective projects and prefer to procrastinate. You think you’re somewhere more in the middle of that line of thinking, but schoolwork isn’t why you’re seated at one of the desks this evening.

There are a few more moments of hesitation, your fingers poised hovering above the keyboard. You could just ignore the article. Forget about William’s false identity and the strange yellow rabbit costume and his penchant for knives and just pretend you’ve seen nothing. Once you cross this boundary, there’s no going back.

You sigh. That’s just the problem. It’s pretending. And you want it to be real. You want to know the truth. You need to know.

You type in Steve Raglan and find no results. Well, you hadn’t really expected any. Chewing your bottom lip, you enter a new query:

Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria.

A flood of links pop up, detailing the hours of operation, menus, and prices for a variety of locations. Nothing useful, so you decide to narrow the search by entering the name of the town as well.

Child goes missing from popular family restaurant.

You frown, scrolling down the page. Apparently a young boy had disappeared during a birthday party. You click the link hurriedly, scanning the archived article.

Authorities still have no leads and are asking for citizens’ help with the investigation.

You hit the back button on the web browser and select the next link. Yet another child missing. Another, and still another.

You swallow, feeling nauseous. You don’t know what you’d expected, but it surely wasn’t this. What happened to these children? What did William know about it?

Who was he really?

You add grand opening to your previous query.

There. You’d found it. The owner’s name was William Afton.

As you continue browsing, you see an individual standing next to a bear mascot, the face all too familiar.

It’s your William.

There he is, the laugh lines smoothed away, brown hair absent of any gray strands, slightly longer and wavy. No glasses, and clean shaven. The eyes were the same, though. There was no mistaking them.

So he didn’t just buy the place recently. He’s the original owner.

Which means he knows about everything that’s happened.

You close the browser, hand shaking on the mouse. This is the man you’ve given yourself to.

Did he…?

You shake your head. There has to be an explanation.

Surely he didn’t have anything to do with the disappearances personally. So why conceal the truth? Why let the building decay and change identities? Just to get a fresh start? To avoid being associated with the tarnished reputation? Maybe save the family some embarrassment?

It just doesn’t make sense.

***

William’s waiting for you, leaning against his car when you emerge from the library and start across the parking lot. It grows dark early now, the street lamp from a nearby post vaguely illuminating the tall figure. His arms are folded across his chest, breath clouding in front of his face.

“Hey,” you greet him nervously, stopping when you’re still some distance away.

“What happened this afternoon? I was going to pick you up from work, remember?”

“Yeah, sorry, I had some research to do that I really needed to get going on.” You readjust the bag on your shoulder, attempting to distribute the weight more evenly.

“You could have called me.”

“I should have, you’re right.”

“Door’s unlocked.” He abruptly pushes off of the car and walks around to the driver’s side. You walk forward slowly, setting your bag on the floor before you sit down.

“You’ve been waiting awhile.” The interior of the car is cool.

“Mmm-hmm.”

“How did you know where I was?”

“Lucky guess.” He makes no move to start the engine. “So what’s this assignment you’re working on?”

“Um, something historical.” You reach for the seatbelt and he leans over, his hand covering yours, squeezing lightly, and you freeze.

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

His grip tightens. “No, I think you do.”

“Is your last name Afton?”

The pressure abruptly vanishes as he leans back, releasing you. “Where did you hear that name?”

“I saw it in the newspaper. The security guard that didn’t work out? He’s missing. The police are looking for him.”

“I don’t know anything about that,” he declares, gaze sliding from yours.

“And then there’s all of the missing children. What happened to the children, William?”

“Is this what you’ve been doing in the library this whole time? Dredging up old news stories? I’ve already told you the police never found anything.”

“But you know what really happened, don’t you? I mean, how could you not? You own the fucking place!”

You expect him to rage after this accusation, but his voice is deathly quiet, and entirely more frightening for it. “What is it that you think I’ve done?”

“I don’t know.”

“You promised me you would stay out of this.”

“I have tried to be patient and understanding, William. I really have. But this is just becoming too much.”

“Is that so?” He turns the key in the ignition, still pointedly avoiding your gaze. “Well, don’t let me keep you any longer then.”

You blink at his sudden dismissal, reaching haphazardly for the nylon strap of your bag. “I wish you would just talk to me. Trust me.”

“The feeling is mutual.” His fingers curl over the top of the steering wheel.

“William—“

“Just leave. Now.” He looks at you then, stormy gray eyes locking with your own.

You want to slap him. You want to kiss him, shake him, cling to him and demand answers. You hate how much you still desire him, even in that moment.

In the end, you do none of these things and just walk away.

***

It’s been a week since you’d confronted William, and you still haven’t seen or spoken to him.

You reach for the phone dozens of times, wind the cord around your fingers and think about him tying you up in the back of his car. You think about wrapping your arms around him as he stands before your kitchen sink, the warm slide of his tongue on your body, the silvered scars beneath your fingers and then the news articles flash in your mind and you don’t know how to feel. You look for him outside of work, nearly miss the bus waiting. He’s never on campus and his car isn’t parked on the street outside your apartment. Sometimes you consider betrayal and going to the police, but immediately discard the idea. What would you tell them? What information did you have to give them, really? It’s like he kept insisting; there was nothing to find.

So your life returns to what it was before you met him. You make coffee and serve customers and study. You order takeout and flip through television channels and you cannot bring yourself to sit on the side of the couch which had become his. It’s a safe and mundane routine, until you finally decide to break the pattern by taking the bus that leads you closest to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria.

***

It’s late when you finally finish walking to the restaurant. The air smells like snow, brisk and moist against your face. The parking lot holds two vehicles: one you instantly recognize as William’s, the other a rusted sedan. The front gate is undone and you can see neon colors glowing indoors. The marquis lights around the sign above the entrance hum loudly as you reach for the door handle.

You move through the arched entryway and jerk to a halt.

In the distance you can make out the infamous animatronics gathered in a cluster, their eyes glowing crimson, clicking with each blink of metallic lids. You haven’t seen them since you were a child, and never off of their respective stages. They sway slightly and you can hear the internal metal workings whirring, joints creaking with each twitch of limbs.

Another mascot is poised to strike a fallen figure wearing a uniform: a tall yellow decaying rabbit clutching a butcher knife.

“William!?”

His head snaps up and the luminous silver eyes of the headgear fixate on you.

“I told you not to come here without me.”

You recognize your lover’s voice, distorted within the confines of the costume. He reaches up to remove the headpiece, discarding it onto the floor where it lands with a heavy clank. His hair is saturated with sweat, several strands plastered to his forehead, and his own silver eyes are bright and feverish.

“Why couldn’t you just listen?” He takes a step towards you and you take a step back, glancing at the unconscious figure lying at his feet. He’s a young man around your age, bleeding from multiple injuries.

“What are you doing?”

He clucks his tongue and shakes his head impatiently, the movement made more difficult within the constraints of the springlocked outfit. “It’s much too complicated to get into now. Just go back outside and wait in the car. This won’t take long.”

“Are you joking?” You keep reversing until your back collides with something solid. You think it might be a crane machine, the joystick jamming into your lower spine.

“I told you again and again not to get involved. Not to ask questions. Not to pry. The less known the better. But you insisted on disobeying me.” Each remark is punctuated with a gesture in the air with the blade followed by another step closer. Your hands scrabble for something, anything to aid in your defense but you find nothing.

William halts, as if finally noticing your fear. “Do you honestly think I would hurt you?”

“I don’t know what to think anymore,” you whisper.

The man shakes his head. “I thought we were kindred spirits. I thought I’d finally found someone that actually understood me.”

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this. Why you had to hurt those children…”

“It had to be done!” he yells, lurching towards your cowering figure. You gasp when a hand reaches out, cold metal wiping tears from your cheek. He’s panting, his breath hot against your face. “It’s the only way. I told you forever, and I meant it.”

He turns back to find his victim has just awoken, blinking groggily. The quartet of animal characters shift restlessly, waiting for instructions.

“Don’t do this. Please.”

William ignores you, moving towards the security guard.

“William!”

It happens in an instant, and it’s difficult to determine who’s more surprised. You try to grab his arm, stepping forward just as he’s trying to shake you off when the blade makes contact, piercing your abdomen.

The pain is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. It’s hot, burning, you can already feel the blood oozing around the buried weapon. Your knees give out and you sag to the floor.

“No!” William drops to his knees beside you, one hand cradling the back of your head, the other reaching for the knife when something strikes the back of his head and he collapses, revealing the injured security guard, struggling to stay upright.

You see the red glow fade from the animatronics’ eyes, the connection broken, and then everything goes dark.

***

It’s bright when you awaken, the sunlight filtering though the window a warm band across your face.

You blink, struggling to sit up and instantly wince in pain, reaching for your stomach. It’s covered by a hospital gown and padded with bandages beneath. Your throat is parched and you struggle to work moisture into your mouth.

“Hey. You’re finally awake. Take it easy.”

You turn and find the security guard from Freddy’s seated nearby. Sterile strips hold a wound at his temple closed and a pair of crutches lean against the armrest. Dark circles beneath his eyes speak volumes of a lack of sleep.

“How…how long have I been out?”

“A few days. It was dicey in the beginning, but it seems the knife just barely missed doing lethal damage. I should go get a nurse, let them know you’re awake.”

“Wait. Just…just talk to me for a minute.”

“Okay.” He rakes a hand through cropped brown curls, looking a bit nervous and uncomfortable. “Um, are you sure you don’t want me to get someone?”

“In a minute. I just…I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Mike.”

“Mike. You saved my life.”

He rubs the back of his neck. “I mean, yeah. I guess I did. And you saved mine too, come to think of it. So that makes us about even.”

You swallow, gathering courage to ask the next question. “Where is he?”

“You mean Steve? I don’t know. No one does. One minute he was knocked out, then I went to the security office to call for an ambulance and when I got back he’d just disappeared. Cops have been looking, but…” He spreads his hands. “How did you ever get mixed up with a guy like that?”

“I met him at my job.” You remain silent for a few moments, grimacing as you struggle to sit up. “How about you? Why…why did he want to kill you?”

“My brother died when we were kids. When I went in for career counseling he was there. Recognized my last name. Decided I was a loose end he needed to take care of, I guess.”

“I’m sorry.”

There’s a long pause. “So you knew he killed all those children,” he says quietly.

“Not until the very end. And even then I still didn’t want to face the truth.” You feel unshed tears burning your eyes. “I wanted to believe the lies. That I was the one he wanted. I was the one he loved. I wanted to be enough.”

“It’s not your fault he was a monster. He was obviously very good at deceiving people. Some people are broken beyond repair. I’m sorry,” he apologizes, struggling into a standing position with the crutches. “I’m going to go get a nurse now, okay?”

You nod, watching as he makes his way to the door.

“I’ll um, check back in later to see how you’re doing. If you want,” he adds, hand resting on the doorknob.

“That would be nice. Thank you.”

The door clicks shut and you bury your face in your hands.

***

It’s spring and the winter thaw leaves behind fresh green buds on tree limbs and purple and yellow crocuses peek up around the sign for the cafe.

Your family has just left after ascertaining that you have in fact recovered and you do intend on remaining at the university. Your wound is a scar now, a dark line along your abdomen that will continue to fade as time wears on.

If only the memories and the feelings could dissipate so easily.

Mike becomes a regular and you’re grateful for his company. He’s managed to get a security job on your campus and seems content. You share coffee and talk about safe topics, pointedly avoiding anything to do with the traumatic event you’d both survived.

It’s early afternoon one day when a coworker taps your shoulder and says someone left a keyring for you. You begin to protest you aren’t missing any keys when you catch sight of the familiar rabbit’s foot decoration and you freeze, staring at the offering.

“Who gave that to you?”

“I don’t know. Some guy in the parking lot.”

You lift the keyring, heart pounding, racing towards the door but you know before you reach the exit that he’s already gone.

The police had interrogated you after the incident, of course. And you’d told them what you could. The office of William’s alias Steve Raglan had been emptied out. The pizzeria showed no evidence of any violence. The animatronics were reportedly back on their stages where they belonged. William Afton had vanished once again, leaving behind no trace.

Except for this cluster of metal and fur in your hand.

You tuck the keyring into your backpack and ignore it until the end of the shift. Waiting at the bus stop, you waver about your destination. At the last moment you choose the stop nearest to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria.

***

The parking lot is vacant.

You step towards the gate and pause, trying to peer though the diamond shaped pattern but it’s difficult to make out anything inside. It takes you a few tries before you find the correct key, unfastening the padlock and dragging the metal encasement to the side. Another key fumbled and the front doors are unlocked.

What am I doing?

You pull the handle and step inside. The lights are on, the neon signs illuminating the dining room. The stage curtains are closed once again. Tables and booths wait for meals and guests that will never arrive.

You inhale deeply and make your way towards the manager’s office. The final key slides home and then you’re inside.

The desk has a single sheet of paper on it.

You examine the drawing, recognizing William’s handiwork immediately, touching the corner and rotating it to face you. It’s a new animatronic, something decidedly more human in form.

You sense someone behind you, have no chance to move before arms wrap tightly around you, one hand draping against your throat.

“William,” you gasp.

“It’s my finest work yet, I think. But that's for later. I missed you.” His lips hover just outside your ear. The hand at your waist fumbles a button of your uniform dress open and then searches, stroking across skin until it reaches your scar. “You’re marked like me now,” he says, nuzzling at your throat. “I knew you’d come find me.” He caresses the damaged flesh and you find yourself relaxing against him, even as your mind screams at you that he’s a murderer, you shouldn’t be here, you almost died by his hand. You still love him, in spite of everything he’s done. Your body still aches for him. It’s so easy to let his mouth rediscover yours, voracious and wet. You surrender to his touch, let him manipulate your body, until the pleasure immolates any coherent thought.

Tucked in the opposite corner of the room, the yellow rabbit mascot head sits, patiently waiting.