#i think there’s a fine line between enjoying ‘shipping’ players and it being fun and harmless

[wmnylander]

nah u should speak your truth fam

[burr-ell]

Conflict, Communication, and Chemistry: A Laura and Marisha PC Appraisal

A couple of people have observed across all three main campaigns that Laura and Marisha consistently make characters that ultimately don't seem to fully understand each other for various reasons, and their characters' chemistry (or lack thereof) is an outgrowth of that. And until recently, I thought that was one of those things that I personally saw but not everyone else was obligated to view the same way—chemistry is often subjective, and it’s for that reason that I tend not to take seriously a lot of the common shipping-based arguments about chemistry.

But in the most recent 4-Sided Dive, Marisha, Laura, and Sam said this:

MARISHA: I have enjoyed…of course, like, delving into the relationship is always fun, but then relationship tension is also fun. LAURA: Yeah, I feel like you guys [points between Marisha and Sam] are really big on—you really like relationship conflict too. You guys talk about that a lot. SAM: Of course. Because I don’t have any in my real life. LAURA: I’m terrified of conflict. That translates to the game as well, I don’t like conflict. SAM: You don’t like conflict? Even in the game, in this dramatic storytelling game that we’ve made together? LAURA: No! I don’t like fighting! SAM: You just want everything to go fine? LAURA: Yes!

And I think that made things click into place for me. This is the reason why their characters have this through-line, because their approaches to conflict bleed through to their character choices. Laura's characters’ issues tend to be internal; they tend not to have prolonged fights with other characters, and their arcs are often person-vs-self stories about emotional walls and struggling with self-centeredness in some capacity. Marisha's characters, on the other hand, are upfront about their problems and are completely unafraid to go toe-to-toe with other party members, and their character development is often a product of a straightforward person-vs-person or person-vs-society story about overcoming their physical obstacles. And it’s part of why their current characters’ relationship has played out in a way that’s strange and off-kilter, because their interactions do not read to me like the players really understood this about each other before the public talk show discussion quoted above.

In Campaign 1, Vex and Keyleth’s relationship is conspicuous by its absence; even within their superficial commonalities, they are not particularly drawn to each other beyond circumstance. Vex is unquestionably the leader of Vox Machina insofar as they have one, and she does this by consistently finding a compromise—when the group is arguing about their best course of action in Whitestone or Westruun or Draconia or the Nine Hells, Vex is the one who mediates and strategizes their way out. She's very good at seeing all sides of an issue, threading the needle, and coming to a decision that keeps the group happy and together. The problem is that she tends to do this at the expense of her personal needs being met; she bottles up a lot of her emotions and issues and she struggles with letting people in, and has to work on not internalizing and holding grudges.

Keyleth, on the other hand, consistently takes stances and isn't afraid to be the moral compass of the party, like when she notices how dark everyone is becoming during the Briarwood arc and fights to correct it. She lets herself feel what she feels rather than pushing it away, which allows her to overcome the physical and mental challenges of her Aramente and affords her more emotional freedom and honesty. Sometimes, though, these traits work against her—she will argue a point and continue to belabor it until someone else steps in; she can be self-righteous due to her own naïveté; and her emotional openness can be poorly-timed and lead her into indecision and dithering. One of the few one-on-one conversations Keyleth and Vex have is after Vex dies and is brought back in the Sunken Tomb, and Vex is quickly exasperated at having to deal with Keyleth’s feelings when she’s the one who died and she’s just trying to piece together what happened.

Vex is often frustrated by Keyleth's hardline beliefs and feelings and has to compromise around them; Keyleth sees conflict in a much more literal way than the internalization and masking that Vex does, and as a result never really digs deeper into who Vex is as a person. By the end of the campaign, they call each other sisters, which I think is appropriate—they're two people who care about each other but have little in common, tied together by the single factor of Vax. Outside of that commonality, there's little reason for them to be especially close the way they are with other members of the party; if there was, they’d have been close at any point throughout the previous 114 episodes.

Beau and Jester form a stronger friendship in Campaign 2, but they seem to understand just enough about each other to get along well while not being able to truly see each other. Jester is cheerful and goofy by nature, but she also projects that particular image in order to make the people around her happy and keep them together. While she will speak her mind, she doesn’t tend to stand at one end or the other of the ideological and political spectrum of issues faced by the Nein and is simply happy to have an adventure and sow some chaos. Even when having difficulties with the Traveler, Jester is willing to work through it and find a solution that works for both of them in order to preserve the relationship.

Beau, meanwhile, approaches the world abrasively and aggressively and is a bit too prepared to burn bridges with people if she thinks they aren’t worth it. While she recognizes the nuances of the conflict between the Empire and the Dynasty, she’s ultimately loyal to the Cobalt Soul’s mission of using knowledge to fight corruption. She’s perfectly happy to butt heads with Caleb or Fjord or Molly if she thinks they’re in the wrong, and her cut-your-losses mentality puts her in conflict with how important the Traveler is to Jester.

This difference is thrown into especially sharp relief not only by how they deal with their respective fathers, but also the response they think the other should have. Jester wants to reconnect with the Gentleman and for him to repair his and Marion’s relationship, while Beau has fully written off Thoreau and has no interest in reconciling. Jester is upset at Beau’s suggestion that she just forget her dad and not put effort into someone who won’t do the same for her, while Beau is less than impressed with Jester’s suggestion that Thoreau really does care about her and it might be worth it to patch things up, and the upshot of it all is that the way everything plays out makes it clear that both of them have badly misread the other’s situation.

Beau, like Keyleth before her, doesn’t seem to understand that Jester is masking a lot of insecurities and wants someone to see her for who she is and not an idealized version of her; Jester actually stops confiding in Beau after Beau tells her she doesn’t need Artagan and that she’s the actual god. Jester, meanwhile, is unwilling to set aside her dreams and fantasies and is at her happiest when she can roam and adventure freely, something for which Beau would not set aside her responsibilities and beliefs in the mission of the Cobalt Soul. They’re still good friends, but going their separate ways is a benefit to both of them.

And now we have Imogen and Laudna, whose relationship felt lacking well before it became romantic. A lot of time and energy has been spent by multiple people trying to articulate exactly why that is, and there are many reasons—Laudna’s concept seems better-suited to a short form narrative and it took about 60 episodes for her character to stop feeling entirely superfluous; the relationship lacks any substantive conflict or disagreement and the supportiveness feels more like a mutual security blanket; they seem to have little in the way of an actual dynamic outside of melodramatic plot moments. But the relevant issue here is that Laudna is, for all intents and purposes, a yes-woman who supports whatever Imogen wants to do simply because Imogen wants it (a trait that notably does not carry over to anyone else in the party—she is completely unafraid to delve into negative emotions and traits with Ashton and Orym, both of whom are played by people Marisha has historically worked with to produce some of the best relationship dynamics on the show). If Imogen wants to run off and live in a cottage or join the Vanguard or commune with Predathos or not commune with Predathos, Laudna will uncritically encourage her no matter what, because per Marisha’s words on the Laudna playlist, “Laudna will protect and attack anyone who tries to fuck with her girl”. Part of Laudna’s core concept, baked in from the beginning, is the belief that Imogen “deserves the world”. Between these two players, the one who enjoys conflict is playing a character who will do everything in her power to shield and soothe the character being played by the one who hates conflict. The result feels less like a healthy supportive relationship and more like a recipe for enablement.

When episode 77 came out, I commented that for the first time I actually started to feel something—anything at all—about Imogen and Laudna, and it’s because I started to get a sense that there might be some real potential for tension and tragedy. And now—between Laudna imploring Imogen to move on from her if she dies, Marisha seeming to suggest at one point that Laudna may not have a future at all, Imogen admitting that she’s outright disgusted by Delilah, the disconnect between the players’ approaches to conflict, Imogen (and Laura, out of character) being shocked and horrified by Laudna absorbing the soul of the Willmaster, and Laudna now intentionally working with Delilah in order to protect Imogen—I’m starting to wonder if their relationship may indeed be on a collision course.

Now this could end in multiple interesting ways: Imogen could be driven away from Laudna, who is slowly consumed by Delilah; Laudna could choose to sacrifice herself to end Delilah for good and Imogen is forced to move on; Imogen and Laudna could Thelma and Louise their way off a cliff; or maybe someone just points out how unhealthy this all is and they start to be more honest and less codependent and their relationship improves after a lot of hard work. But something has to happen. 

Laura and Marisha have, multiple times now, been asked questions about Imogen and Laudna’s relationship that they have answered with varying degrees of “we never really talked about it”, sometimes referring to in-game conversations and sometimes not, and that is both unsurprising and a bad sign of things to come. I don’t know exactly how much out-of-game conversation happened between previous canon relationships that Laura and Marisha have played, but this one desperately needs it—because for three straight campaigns, all we’ve seen is every indication that these are two players who are uniquely ill-suited to play a romance the way either of them would want to.

[paradoxlemonade]

Mirror Mirror

Fandom: Double Life SMP

Dynamic: Etho & Joel

words: 1313

Warnings: body image issues, insecurity

Ao3: Here!

Summary: Etho doesn't like how he looks. Joel does not know this. Hurt/comfort ensues. (This is my @mcytblrholidayexchange present for @kyleknight! I hope you enjoy ^^)

— — — — —

Joel likes to think he’s a pretty funny guy in his own humble opinion, thank you very much. People laugh when he starts cracking jokes, and those that don’t are probably just peeved that they’re the subject of his mockery—after all, when there’s a punchline, someone has to be the one to get decked. It’s all in good fun!

It’s… disconcerting when someone who’s supposed to be in on the joke isn’t smiling along with it. 

And it’s not like Etho’s even the one on the receiving end! The whole point of the thing is how they—as soulmates—can ruin everyone else’s thumbnails together!

It’s a bit of Etho’s that Joel has always found fun as long as he’s known about it: hiding another layer of visual data in his player code only visible upon lookup is a fantastic prank for messing with one’s friends, since it’ll only show up when they pull his image to build the thumbnail. Etho himself, who doesn’t bother with that sort of menial technicality and just whips out a camera from his back pocket when he spies a good thumbnail, is immune. And sure, sure, Joel doesn’t actually know how to replicate the effect and just went for a plain t-shirt with the face painted on in crooked lines, but it was still funny and would show up on the lookups (And Etho’s pictures, but that’s what hiding the shirt with armor is for).

Joel was grinning like mad as he showed off the creation, hands waving and detailing the concept. Etho gave an affirmation, but he hadn’t seemed particularly enthused with the concept; the mask hiding his face stretched with a smile even as his eyes skittered to the side and hid under knit brows.

So. Joel tries not to let it bother him and simply enjoy the thought of his friends being annoyed with him.

He picks at the hem of the t-shirt as he paces about the Boat Boys (not Small Etho!) base area. The day passes as usual: chaos reigns, problems are caused (all on purpose if asked, mostly on purpose in actuality), and Joel enjoys Etho’s company. Really, the man is a delight—Joel knew of him more than he knew him personally before the latest season, but every new interaction reveals something new about Etho that he didn’t know, and Joel’s actions and mannerisms in turn to him.

Everything seems fine, until. Until, until, until.

Etho removes the secret layer. Joel finds out about it in between sessions and tries (fails) not to take it personally.

It… stings.

The start of the next session and Joel’s ire do not roll in like thunder, but instead stumble in on unsure legs like a fawn. Sure, he’s irritated (and a little offended, and a little hurt), but it’s Etho. So Joel leans on the edge of The Relation Ship and drinks in the sight of the server.

A creaking floorboard from behind him and a gentle wheeze of breath belies Etho’s awaited arrival. 

Without turning around, Joel begins, “I see that you’ve changed your skin?” It’s light as he can manage with a slight chuckle of incredulity, but from the tightness in his jaw, it does little to masquerade much of anything.

“I did, yes—”

“You took the face off? Was it because I—”

“Yeah.”

Joel huffs. “Wow, brilliant.” He pushes off and turns in a single motion, and—

Freezes.

…Any plans Joel has for a polite (but frigid, but pointed, but sardonic) questioning evaporate once he gets a look at Etho’s face.

He looks tired, bags like smudges of coal languishing, shifting with every blink. Every step is upheld with an air of casual nonchalance, but the slight tremble in his fingers betrays him. His pale hair is dull and falls over his scarred eye.

“...You look like a wreck.”

Etho scowls for a bare moment but beats it down to a practiced neutrality. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

Joel snorts. “Considering that I hadn’t asked but you tried to deflect anyways, say that I don’t particularly believe you.” He grabs Etho by the wrist and slides past, leading him down to their chests. “Did you sleep at all between now and the last session? Because your eyebags have eyebags. Bet we could fit a whole stack of items in there.” Before Etho can respond, Joel pops the lock on a chest and picks out a loaf of bread. He drops it into Etho’s hands with a nod of finality.

“I slept just fine. And I ate too, if that’s what you’re getting at by this.” He gestures helplessly with the bread. “I told you, I’m fine.”

Joel shrugs. “And I said I didn’t believe you. I can play this game all day, especially since your face isn’t helping your argument.”

Etho scowls again. “Stop saying that.” 

“Saying what? That you look like you’ve been fighting phantoms? And losing?”

 “Joel, please…” His shoulders are drawn in close and his grip on the bread grows tighter, more desperate.

Joel falters.

“Are you… okay?”

Etho makes a face and stalks back onto the ship. “You don’t need to rub it in, you know.”

Joel trails behind him, his sense of assurance drying up. “You’re gonna need to be a little more specific than that, mate. Rub what in?”

He laughs. Laughs. Something dry, something quiet, something brittle. Etho keeps his gaze trained on the bread crust he picks at aimlessly. “I know I’m nothing nice to look at. I’ve known that basically forever. So you don’t need to rub it in; I already know.”

Joel blinks. He stops following Etho’s pacing and stands in place. What does he say to that? “You’re kidding, right?”

Mm. Probably not that.

Etho gives him an unimpressed look. “Why would I be kidding about this? You’ve been saying it yourself all morning.”

Wait, he thought that… and then Joel…

Oh, goddammit.

Joel rubs a hand across his face letting it trail up to drag through his hair. “You look tired, man, not ugly. You’re not a supermodel—so what? Neither am I. And neither is anyone else that we hang out with. You’re in pretty good company.” His feet finally unstick from the floor and he manages to scoot next to Etho, their shoulders brushing. “You’ve been thinking about this the entire break, haven’t you?”

Etho shrugs, as if it hides the way his shoulders droop with the weight of his thoughts. “I don’t… I try not to think about my face too much. Not ever since”—he waves his free hand at the long, ropy line bisecting his face—“that. No mirrors in any of my builds or anything. I guess your silly t-shirt just reminded me that everyone else is looking at me when I talk to them.”

Joel kinda feels bad for taking that personally, now.

He shakes his head. “If you told me what was up, I would’ve ditched the shirt. Here, like this.” He reaches up with one hand and yanks it off by the neckline, tossing it across the ship in the same motion. It hits the wall and slides to the floor in a crumpled heap. “There, now it’s gone.”

Etho takes a minute to gather his thoughts. After a pause, his eyes trail over to meet Joel’s. “Thanks.”

Joel leans over and bumps him, never breaking eye contact. “Bothering people is fun. Hurting them isn’t.”

The moment passes, and Etho turns his attention back to the bread. He slides his mask down and takes a hesitant bite.

— ��� — — —

Joel leans back and kicks a foot over his leg. “Besides, I can still think of, like, at least three different people who would throw themselves at you in a heartbeat if they thought they had a chance of getting you into bed with them.”

Etho chokes on a mouthful of bread.

[soartfullydone]

I absolutely want to hear some stuff about Celeste for the character fact list.

send me a character ask:

Favorite thing about them

Celeste has experienced so much in her life that she is relatively unflappable. She has a firm grip on her emotions and what she displays to other people. Not that she doesn't lose that grip from time to time. The Worst Vacation Ever has certainly been testing her, and I like that she can still be tested while having enough grit to stay classy about it.

Least favorite thing about them

She won't let me improv more silly stuff :( So on a character level, probably her rigidity. It runs counter-intuitive to how adaptable and flexible I am and often have to be, so I always have to watch myself in order to do her proper justice.

Favorite line

Ooh, probably when she "let slip" her inclination in viewing Ledo as a pirate, the rough sort. She was genuinely surprised that Ledo reacted as vehemently as she did, and that was illuminating and led to a very interesting conversation. There's also "Now, dear, it'll be fine. You held yourself very well with the horse man," which happened because the player (me) forgot the word "stablehand" midway through the sentence.

BROTP

Using all these next terms loosely, so far I've been having fun with the Old Person Solidarity between Celeste and Foaly and the No-Nonsense Professionalism between her and Char.

OTP

That possibility is dead, I think.

NOTP

This possibility is not dead, methinks.

Random headcanon

Despite living in Twalan the majority of her life, she never set foot on a ship until she traveled to Orianth. She'd be dismissive about the experience if asked, but secretly, she enjoyed sailing. It wasn't as daunting being out in open water as she'd expected.

Unpopular opinion

I don't fully know the scope of opinions about Celeste from the rest of you lovely people, so I guess I'll say... I don't know if I want her to get better. Or whether that's even in the cards for her. Whether that needle moves in one direction or the other is solely at the whims of what we discover in the campaign, if there comes a reckoning. But if she winds up being universally hated by the party, I don't think that would shock me or phase her—and it's the not phasing her bit that makes me sad for her.

Song I associate with them

"Eat Your Young" by Hozier

Favorite picture of them

I genuinely love how menacing this screenshot came out. Celeste in cold calculation mode.

[shockinglysubmissive]

One Day Down

WARNINGS: Stripping, Fingering (Reader receiving), Squirting

This is my piece for @missuga Love and Lockdown Collab

WC: 2K

“One day down, 13 more to go. Care to play a game to kill some time?” Your boyfriend asks, looking through your closest of board games. The pandemic had shut everything down, and Kuroo was unable to take the bus back to his apartment, so you two were trapped together for the next two weeks. He doesn’t wait for your response, finding a box and tugging it out of the stack carefully. “How about this one? It will kill at least two hours.” He holds out Monopoly, a smirk spread across his face.

“No way Tetsu! You get way too competitive! We still have nearly two weeks together. We can’t start hating each other already.” Despite your disagreeing words, you start to clear off the coffee table in front of you for the board. He sits down across from you, using a pillow to make the hardwood floor more comfortable.

“Oh. You are so mistaken. It won’t be a normal game of monopoly. Oh no no no Kitten, this will be so much more.” His eyes narrow, sliding a piece of paper over to you. You unfold it and scan over it quickly.

Shoes: $50

Socks or Tights: $50

Sweater or Jacket: $50

Shirt or Top: $100

Pants or Skirt: $100

Dress: $200

Bra: $300

Underwear: $500

“Are… are you serious? Strip monopoly?” You can’t help but giggle as he starts sorting cards. You don’t notice when he slips a stack of cards from his pocket, mixing them into the stack until they are mixed in fully. “If you wanted to see me naked you could have just asked to join me in the shower.” You add.

“ But this will be so much more fun. Seeing you all angry, your pretty tits pushed together with crossed arms because you realize you have to sell your panties and lose the game.” He sets the chance cards on their spot and sets the player pieces out on the board for you to pick.

Your fingers trace the ship, smirking as you pick it up and hand it to him. “Here you can be the ship because you’re going down.” You flash him an innocent smile as he picks up the dog.

“Fine, but you’ll be this one because I’m going to make you my bitch.” He says simply, eyes shining with joking excitement. You distribute the money, rolling your eyes as you start the game.

After a few turns, you had to sell your shirt for money to buy a property, and Kuroo sold his pants to pay for landing on your space. On your next turn, you land on a Chance space. You read it and blush bright red, having drawn one of the cards he had slipped in.

“Money is tight. Give another player a lapdance to steal an item of clothing from them.” Not giving him the chance to tease you for blushing, you move to his side of the table, straddling his lap and give him a half hearted dance. Tugging on the bottom of his shirt, you pull it over his head and put it on yourself. “Thank you for your shirt. Looks like I am fully dressed again.” You take your seat on the other side of the table again. He blinks at you slightly taken aback. “What? I never said that I would make this easy on you.“ You look at him innocently, Adjusting his shirt, which is too big for you.

A growl rumbles in his chest. He knows that you are winning, that doesn't stop him from being competitive. “The game's not over yet. I said I would make you my bitch, and I still intend to do that. I'm just letting you win for the moment because you look so cute when you smile.” Although he is smiling, there is a bit of anger in his words. You have known him for years, and Tetsu can be very competitive. He enjoys being the cunning one who wins. He hates when you are able to beat him without even trying to.

“ Mm.. Ok whatever makes you happy. I’ll let you believe that you will win.” You count your money, and organize the properties that you have collected so far. Unaware of the anger filling your boyfriend, his dick hardens seeing his shirt slide down your shoulder some.

The game continues for many more turns, clothes being sold, but chance cards giving clothes back. In the final few turns, Kuroo buys hotels for his blue properties, and you land on them. One having $50, and your panties left, you had to give up, letting your boyfriend win. Despite getting exactly what he wanted, he didn’t look happy. Your arms are crossed over your chest, a small pout settling on your face wanting him to look at you. Instead he just packs up the game.

“What’s wrong with you? You won! You get to see me naked and you’re still huffing and pouting like a child. What more do you want?” You demand, knowing that this game would end poorly. He glances up at you, his expression is unreadable. He stays silent, still refusing to acknowledge you, a slight scowl on his face. “Kuroo! I knew this game was a bad idea. I’m just going to bed. You can sleep on the couch if you want to keep acting like this.”

“You’ve been teasing me this whole game.” He says simply. You look shocked. Of all the reasons for him to be mad, it was because you teased him. Your boyfriend is known for being a giant tease, and he can’t handle receiving any.

“Hate to break it to you, but you were taunting me way more than I was with you. You get too competitive.” You mumble, grabbing your clothes to get dressed again. “I played the game that you wanted! You always tease me, so I thought I could do the same. Guess I was wrong. I will give you your space.” Houses and hotels are scattered as he drops them to grab your wrist, pulling you to make you sit on your knees so that you can see how his boxers have a large spot of precum soaking through. You swear that you can see him throbbing, even though the fabric.

His grip tightens as he begins to speak. “Biting your lip while thinking, letting your tits bounce when you get excited, slowly sliding off every piece of clothing. Oh and let's not forget the way that your fingertips would absent-mindedly drift to your exposed nipples. You would play it off like you were playing with your hair, but I saw the way your breathing changed.” He leans his face closer to yours, letting his warm breath fan against your ear. “We have 13 days let before we can leave this apartment, and I intend to fuck you so good you can’t walk right until then, understood?” He whispers in your ear. You swallow hard and nod, knowing that he will do just that.

Even when the sex between you both is slow and full of love and passion, he never fails to leave you so fucked out that you lose all ability to think. Seeing the look in his eyes from wanting you so bad, you knew that you were in for a lot of aches tomorrow.

He shoves the remaining game pieces on the floor, setting you on the coffee table. Using the fact that you lost, and were fully undressed to his advantage, he settles himself on his knees between your legs. “Think you can take me, or do you need me to stretch you out?” His voice is gentle as his fingers trace along your already slick folds. Unable to wait for you to answer, he slips his long middle finger into you. A soft moan leaves his lips as you lift your hips to feel his finger deeper. His own need is overshadowed by the desire to make you cum.

“Want more. Please Tetsu. I want you to stretch me out.” Your voice comes out a bit whinier than you hoped, desperate to feel the deep feelings that only he can give you. Taking mercy on you, he slides his ring finger in, curling both until he finds your g-spot. He quickens his ministrations, savoring in the way you react to him. His cock twitches, but he ignores it, too lost in the moans coming from your mouth.

When his thumb starts to circle your clit, you instinctively try to pull away, feeling pressure building in your core. “Ah. No moving.” He presses down just above your pelvic bone, creating more stimulation against your sweet spot. You squirm even more, feeling as if you may explode if the pressure builds any more. “Let go baby. Stop holding back. Relax.” His lips graze down your inner thigh.

At his words, the pressure releases, and you soak his hand with your cum. Your vision blurs and your hands roam to find something to hold on to. Settling for gripping your chest, your hips grind weakly against his hand until you become too sensitive.

He finally removes his hand, fingers dripping with your cum. Popping his fingers in his mouth, he lets out a soft moan. “Fuck I will never get tired of how good you taste.” He leans down and laps at your cum soaked folds. His delicate kitten licks move to your clit and you try to pull away.

“Tetsu… I want you to fuck me. I want you to feel good too.” You tug his hair to pull him up to look at you, eyes begging him to stuff you full. He hesitates for a moment, wanting to continue tasting you, but also wanting to fuck you so hard that neither one of you can think straight anymore. “Baby.” Your voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and he is hovering over you.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you attach your lips to his, opening your mouth just enough that his tongue slips into your mouth. His tongue tastes faintly like your cum, and you can’t help but blush. You slide your hands down his chest, clumsily tugging his boxers down. Pumping his cock to smear the precum, you move to line him up with your entrance.

“My needy girl. Don’t worry. I’m going to make you feel so good. I’m gonna make you cum all over me.” He pushes into you with one fluid snap of his hips. Your walls clamp down around him, already trying to milk him for all the cum he has. “If you aren’t… fuck… if you don’t stop I won’t be able… oh god… to move.” He half begs, trying to keep control as he rocks against you.

“Can’t help it. You just feel so good in me. I want to cum around you already.” Your voice comes out as needy, body already teetering on the edge just from his tip kissing your cervix as he rocks against it. Still sensitive from your first intense orgasm, then his tongue teasing every inch of your pussy, you feel as if you could cum again.

“Not yet baby. Just hold off for a little longer. I want you to cum with me.” He grits his teeth as he builds up to a steady pace. Tears start to well in your eyes as it becomes almost painful to not cum. “It’s okay. Just breathe. It’s going to be okay. A little longer. It will feel so good when you finally cum with me.” He tries to calm your nerves, kissing away the tear that slipped down your cheek.

You cling to his shoulders, mind going numb, and only being able to think about how good his dick is making you feel. “Cum for me. Fuck.” His voice tugs you back to reality just enough to realize you no longer have to hold back. Creaming all over him, you moan his name against his neck, trembling in his arms as he fucks his cum into you.

It takes you both a few moments to come back down from your highs, suddenly aware of the discomfort you feel from the coffee table. “Game night was fun, but can we fuck somewhere more comfortable tomorrow?” You ask softly, giggling softly against his shoulder.

@bummie @izukine @writesmcgee

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E116-119 (Dec. 15, 2020)

Hi! I missed the first three minutes or so and opened the stream to Brian giving an absolutely incoherent ...ad? for some jewel game? Six thousand jewels just for logging in? Some app in the app store and he’s literally been talking about this now for six minutes and I don’t know what he’s talking about. He finally wraps up, Laura brings the show to a close, and we’re all a little worse than we were before.

Ashley tries to get us back on track and Henry bays over her. Brian tries to ask the first question and breaks off into feigned sobs halfway through. This is chaos incarnate.

Tonight’s guests: Laura Bailey & Ashley Johnson.

How’s Yasha feeling right now about Molly? She and Jester both are desperately curious about whether there’s a spark of Molly left in Lucien that can be brought back. It’s not the same as when Yasha was controlled by Obann; this seems more like just the way this is now. They’d settle for even finding the good in him, like they did with Essek. Brian jokes that they can monitor his mental state if Matt’s Irish accent starts to slip a little bit.

Jester is a little wary about scrying on Lucien now since he’s able to see her back.  She’s interested to try again now that Fjord’s given her the necklace.

Ashley has to run and grab a replacement set of headphones from Brian after hers get “crunchy.” It’s pretty cute seeing them run around and smooch on another screen. Brian teases that he doesn’t have any more questions for Jester since Caduceus has been doing all the healing lately. Laura tells us indignantly that she had Heal prepared for Caduceus in that last big fight, but Fjord got to Cad first. Brian explains how this is the same as all the good jokes he always lines up for Talks but never tells. Ashley’s crunchiness continues and we go briefly to a technical difficulties screen while Brian hops up to fix it.

Dani pips in to get this show back on track. Save us, Dani!

Ashley hadn’t thought about the aspect of Lucien controlling his friends’ minds, but finds it really creepy. It’s a cool game dynamic, and it’s a little different because they’re there willingly, but it’s really weird.

Jester thinks that “the tarot cards know all. She wants to buy into it real hard.” If it doesn’t make sense now, it will later. Laura has an Idiot’s Guide to Tarot Reading.

They’re super interested in why Aeor is like it is. Were they more advanced than us? Did they evolve along a different line? Ashley loves sci-fi and is all about this, especially since she wasn’t there for Happy Fun Ball time & hasn’t been able to get caught up on some of the things she missed in between, so she’s using this as an erstwhile replacement. She can already tell there are some things from this campaign that will bother her the way the unopened box did from C1. She and Laura both seethe at the camera about having to leave the spider behind.

Cosplay of the Week! Harland3r on instagram with a gorgeous winged Pike with a shield & mace. It’s an incredible photo and the wings look great.

Travis distracts Laura by dancing like a Trex offscreen. That seems right for this episode.

Jester’s encouragement of Yasha pursuing Beau was important in a lot of ways, not least because Ashley considered herself as uninterested in D&D romance as Travis & was a little unsure of activating a romance among her friends. However, it felt really natural within the game and it was really helpful to have Jester’s in-game encouragement. Yasha’s grown a lot and is in a much more positive place and is ready to find out what’s possible. Laura: “Jester from the get-go has seen Yasha as this wonderful soul from the beginning, and has seen how sad Yasha’s been through everything, and to see the difference that she exhibits when talking about Beau is drastic and wonderful. Jester’s joy in life is helping others find joy.”

Ashley points out it’s also so fun to “yes-and” with Laura because you’re like a little kid being dragged along by the hand - you don’t know where it’s going, but you know it’s going to be fun along the way.

Ashley does have a sense of “thank goodness Marisha isn’t jumping right into this” so she can coax herself into it, but when she tried to figure out the poem she had a lot of drafts that didn’t survive. She intentionally crafted the letter to give Beau an out if she didn’t feel the same way. There’s a lot going on with Lucien right now and there’s constantly a running thought in the back of her head about “maybe Beau is not into this.” Even the last couple episodes with Jester & Fjord have had Ashley finally understand shipping.

Brian brings us to the moment “almost as romantic as the pre-season finale of the Bachelorette.” Jester was “goo” afterwards. Early on in the campaign, Jester was very forward with her flirtations with Fjord & he shut her down. And then he kissed her underwater and immediately went and slept with Avantika, and Jester automatically shut herself down, because she thought she was misunderstanding & would only be hurt by those emotions. She deliberately focused on just being there with her friends, making everyone healthy and happy. These last few episodes where Fjord was flirting back felt like “my teenage heart again, my first kiss, the boy I like actually likes me back!” and she was able to open back up.

Yasha definitely has some instrument plans for those bones. She doesn’t know if she’s going to add to her harp or create a new one.

Ashley and Laura cheer about Travis stepping out his comfort zone. Laura thinks it was really good that he was doing it with her, his real-life wife, to see if he likes that sort of stuff in his D&D campaign. “It was just so sweet. It was just so sweet.” Brian says he’s actually a really romantic dude & Dani is so glad he asked before the kiss. Brian: “It’s going to be so sad when he breaks your heart and goes back to the corpse of Avantika.” Laura: “It’s fine, Jester will be long dead by then anyway.”

Jester does believe the four-year time trade was worth it, but that the city leaves “a mark on your brain,” especially as in-depth as she saw it. “Jester’s always been reticent to talk about her age because she’s aware she’s perceived in a juvenile way by a lot of people, and she’s insecure about that. She grew up by herself without a lot of social interactions and is experienced in a lot of ways now and naive in others; she’s very aware of human emotion around her, but chooses to see it in a certain way.” Losing the time makes her wonder if she needs to grow up & become an adult about certain things now. Laura: “I think actually she’s closer to Fjord’s age now. Actually, I’m not sure about his age. I don’t know how old he is - I’ve never even asked Travis!” Brian: “I think he’s definitely fifteen.” Laura: “Travis, how old is Fjord?” Travis, off-screen: “Sixty-five,” but he’s had the Mask of Many Faces up this whole time. Later, he adds that he’s in his early 30s.

Ashley has really enjoyed digging into Yasha’s more humorous side lately. It’s how she gets comfortable as a player, making it fun and light in a way that this year needs. “It’s also really funny to think that Yasha doesn’t know how Message works.”

Brian congratulates Laura & Ashley both on their game awards nominations. Brian vamps trying to get himself in as the presenter, but incidentally refers to Laura as his sister in the conversation and it’s super cute. “I would like to be the one to give the award to either my fiancee, or my sister!”

Fanart of the Week: @ethanmaldridge with an illustrated page from the Katzenprinz book. It’s just beautiful.

Jester’s polymorph gambit was terrifying, but the stakes got even higher when everyone else got stunned. She does lament choosing a bunny at the start. “Frickin’ Fjord’s armor!”

Yasha loves being polymorphed lately. She thinks it’s kinda funny, especially given her rigid upbringing with such defined roles.

Laura feels like Jester and Vex are weirdly two halves of herself. Brian: “You see the very bargainy, I’m gonna use my wit & smarts to negotiate situations. But at the same time, you’re very open to what people are thinking & feeling and navigating that. What you end up putting out (though it comes across as innocent and naive) is something pure because she truly believes it.” Laura thinks Yasha and Pike are the same way for Ashley, though Ashley feels a little closer to Yasha right now. Sometimes you just feel really exposed. Laura compares how much idealism she put into Jester to her character from Fruits Basket.

Since Yasha didn’t belong to either side in the war, she’s not hugely concerned by the fallout; she more wants to make sure her found family are okay and safe. Jester is the same way, Laura tells us. Jester doesn’t have any greater vision of the Empire & Dynasty interacting; she cares about the people, and it hasn’t been until the vision with the city that she kind of woke up and realized they have to really stop this now. It feels bigger than the Dynasty/Empire. Ashley: “It seems more of a thing for Beau and Caleb to care about.”

Really, up to now Jester was mostly concerned about getting Molly back, but now the stakes seem much higher. “We have to do this. We have to complete this, to beat them, to keep them from doing this.” Yasha is just going with the flow for now. There’s a lot coming at them and they are ready to find out what’s next.

And that’s that for tonight! Brian thanks the crew especially for working incredibly hard on switching everything to home-based streaming. He then gets stuck halfway spinning around in his chair and the last thing we hear is him idly wondering “What’s Fjord taste like?” which seems pretty on brand for tonight’s show. Is it Thursday yet?

[beanieman]

Unpopular Opinion Time: Your Turn To Die Edition

(These all are just my silly opinions and don’t mean anything at the end of the day! Please don’t yell at me because I'm sensitive and will cry. I would love to hear others peoples thoughts about this in the ask box if you like!! )

- The floor masters are more annoying than enjoyable to me. I think it's just because they're so outlandish while the rest of the cast feels like they could be real people. I find it jarring. The two floor masters I find entertaining are Tia and Sou. Tia feels very realistic and doesn't often break the immersion. And Sou dances the line between being sadistically evil and scarily realistic very well. - I like Q-Taro's character but what he did in the vending machine ending and what Nao did in the massacre ending was not the same. Q-Taro's life was in the same amount of danger as everyone else’s, while Nao's was in imminent danger.

- I ship RanSara more than JoeSara. - Speaking of Joe, I like his character, and he's a lot of fun!! But if I rated the main cast by how much I like them, Joe would be at the bottom compared to the others. I didn't click with Joe like many other players, and I'm not sure why?? I like Ranmaru more than him.

- Something that annoys me is when I see people say, "You can't dislike Shin/Keiji if you like Shin/Keiji since their characters have so many parallels.". They have a lot of parallels, but they aren't the same. I would say they're contradicting. Shin has a mask of being a bad person, but the more we learn about him, the better he seems. (At least before the game.). While Keiji seemed like a good person to begin with, but the more we learn about him, the worst he seems. And liking or disliking either arc is fine! Someone can like or dislike any character they want! Regardless of similarities to other characters they enjoy. 

- I do not ship Keishin// at all, and don’t even really like them as a BROTP. Everyone’s shipping opinion is valid though and it’s not toxic or anything, I just don’t like it. Maybe I just have too strong of a bias for Keishima and Shinalice. 

- While Shin and Kanna's friendship should be critiqued and have the toxic parts of it acknowledged, boiling it down to Shin not caring about Kanna at all and only using her while Kanna was a thoughtless puppet to his games waters down both their characters. 

-  Referring to Shin as Sou bothers me, but I don't know how to put into words why that is. It shouldn't bother me since that's the name Shin picked for himself, but it does. I don't think anyone's wrong or bad for calling Shin Sou!! It's just a personal ick of mine that I haven't seen bother anyone else.

- I love Reko, but I'm always going to choose the Alice lives route. Reko already had a character arc before the game even began. She went from someone harsh and cold to kind and warm to those who needed it the most. While Alice has always lived for Reko. He's always wanted her approval and then forgiveness. Seeing Alice learn to live independently after never receiving the forgiveness or appreciation he wanted from his sister is more interesting to me than Reko's seemingly complete character growth. A good example of this is the Shin VS Kanna choice. It was always clear Reko would vote to save Kanna. But Alice isn't as easy to read. Kanna will assume he votes for her until Alice admits he voted for Shin. It's the little differences like that I enjoy the most about Alice's route!  

- Speaking of Reko, she had every right not to forgive Alice even if it's painful. His arrest was traumatic for her, and as far as she knew, he took an innocent life. 

[dgcatanisiri]

Tried to make a brief summary of the issues of Mass Effect Andromeda’s handling of queer men and how it relates to why we’re (broad use here) upset with the Legendary Edition failing to provide better representation than the originals, and it kinda turned in to what amounts to an open letter for BioWare.

So, what the heck, here it is.

A little personal background. I spent my high school life completely in the closet. After graduating, I had a new computer and the opportunity to play a new game. The game chosen was BioWare’s Jade Empire. Still a fairly recent release, and I was a big fan of Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic, also by BioWare. So, being a young gay man, still uncomfortable and uncertain of who I was, I was very excited when I got to play this game that would allow me to play a gay romance, a romance that featured two men. I burned through two playthroughs of the game within less than a week, enjoying that rush of acknowledgement that yes, gay guys could be the hero. It was a massive affirmation for me at the time, something that said that my sexuality was not going to prevent me from being the hero, which legitimately was a message that I felt like most media was giving me to that point, because gay men barely appeared in anything other than guest roles for an episode or two on a TV show, but certainly not in video games. That game, that experience... I’ve said for years that it had cemented me as a BioWare fan for life.

If I say that now, it is a statement with a few caveats.

The history of the failure of Mass Effect 1 and Mass Effect 2 to provide any male/male romances is well documented. I was excited, very eager to romance Kaidan Alenko in Mass Effect 3. But even then, I noticed that there were things that were lacking in the romance. It was noticeable, for instance, that the basic dialogue between male Shepard and female Shepard was unchanged, if either was starting a new romance with Kaidan. The thing that always felt... WRONG about that was that if I’d had the option to begin a romance with him in the first game, I would have. Yet there’s not even a bit of dialogue that even references that inability, no comment of “I didn’t think you were available,” or anything of the sort, nothing to say that, say, Shepard was interested in Kaidan at the time, but didn’t believe he’d be receptive, didn’t want to damage their friendship, something of the sort. There was even a cut in the romance scene, where female Shepard will sit in Kaidan’s lap before being lifted up and carried to the bed, but with male Shepard and Kaidan, just fades to black. And then in the Citadel DLC, while all the other pairings walked in to the casino arm in arm, male Shepard and Kaidan are leaving plenty of room between them. There’s also the absence of any cuddling as they return to the Normandy.

To say nothing of the lack of Steve Cortez during the story segments of Citadel – he is not part of the big team entrance to the apartment, just spontaneously appears in the lounge room. He doesn’t participate in the briefings, and he is not a casino date, despite being part of the assembled team. Cortez also suffers from the fact that his romance spends so much time on how he needs to move on from the death of his husband, Shepard can come across as predatory towards him, trying to push him out of his grief and his pants. Due to the lateness of his arrival in the story, in game three, as opposed to game one or two, there is significantly less time to establish him as a person – beyond his past as a pilot and the death of his husband, we gain almost no concept of his personality or personal history.

I bring all of this up to help set the stage of what was expected when Mass Effect Andromeda was nearing release. Mass Effect had been full of problems of representation of queer men specifically (not that they were perfect on the count of female/female relationships either, because there’s plenty to talk about there, but as I’m not a lesbian or bisexual woman, I don’t feel comfortable talking about their experiences for them). While there were flaws, Dragon Age, what is often considered Mass Effect’s sister franchise, HAD managed to provide male/male romances in every iteration of that franchise.

In fact, considering that Dragon Age’s most recent installment, Dragon Age Inquisition, had been put out with a lot of fanfare about the first gay male companion, who was considered rather popular in the fandom, and the game itself receiving the Game of the Year award that year, indicating that, if there was any risk in the business sense of providing representation of queer men, it was negligible at most in the bottom line of that game, the attitude of a lot of gay men in the lead up to Andromeda’s release was some variation of “okay, Mass Effect has been flawed, but BioWare’s learned from their past mistakes, and they’re coming off the heels of a hugely successful game that had a gay character whose gayness was front and center in his storyline... We can expect that things will be fine, and we don’t have to worry.” That was the dominant attitude I found in a lot of my queer-oriented spaces.

But we started getting uncomfortable as the developers remained cagey about romance options in Andromeda – there were Twitter responses to “we’re concerned about Mass Effect’s history of gay representation, we would like to know about the options” that came out as “we checked and yep! They’re there!” These responses came across as flippant and even tone-deaf – the reason that the question was being asked was because of prior failures to be included, and not simply a desire to get all the details before launch.

As the trailers started coming out, the questions continued from the fans, and the response from the developers... continued to be uncomfortable. When asked directly for a listing of romances prior to release, the response was that the developers wanted players to learn as they played, that “the fun is in experiencing it!” This was a specific response when it was learned that the romance options could be flirted with regardless of orientation, but they would shut it down. Despite the fact that the trailers DID include content from certain romances – specifically, the male Ryder/Cora and male Ryder/Peebee romances.

This was uncomfortable for a lot of queer players like myself because it spoke to a lack of consideration of what it is like to be queer. In many places, it is a serious question of safety to even put yourself out there to find a partner, to flirt with someone openly unless you are already certain that there is a chance for a positive response. There are places where a queer person flirting with the wrong person can get them harassed, assaulted, even killed for doing so. Even in the safety of a virtual construct of video games, these are honed instincts that queer people have developed. And no matter how many times we would say this to the developers, no one seemed to understand. Likewise, the fact that the trailers felt free to show off heterosexual romances, but not queer ones felt... questionable.

Then, finally, firm details started coming out, and... There were problems. Early data-mining said that there was an even split of romances between orientations. But there was a bit of discomfort around the reveal that the gay characters, Suvi and Gil, were limited to the ship, rather than being companions who would accompany Ryder on missions. There is a history of companions being given more involved storylines and involvement than secondary characters. It also didn’t help the disappointment from queer people who’d been eager for Cora or Liam as romances, who were firmly established as straight (Cora herself had a popular lesbian following).

That discomfort increased when it came out further that, ACTUALLY, Jaal would not be available for Male Ryder. This caused a lot of upset. Now it was a case where there was NO M/M squadmate romance option. This on top of the group of fans who were uncomfortable with the idea that, in a sci-fi series, gay men couldn’t romance an alien, while this had become a staple of the series, considering Liara, the character from a species described as equivalent to Star Trek green-skinned Orion girls, had been available for straight men and lesbian/bi women from ME1, and straight women got in on the act with Garrus and Thane in ME2, on top of straight men also getting Tali.

This got worse when the achievement listing for the game was released and there was an achievement for “romancing three different characters.” Meaning that it was absolutely impossible for a gay man to play the game and get this achievement without playing a sexuality other than his own.

This is why I led with my experience with Jade Empire, why it was so affirming to me. Because to hear all this, ten years later, to see what had been so affirming to me a decade prior be functionally dismissed, be shown to take a secondary position at best... It hurt.

And the game proper did not help that feeling at all.

So first we meet Gil Brodie. Engineer of the Tempest. One of the first things we learn about him is that he has a close friendship with a woman named Jill. And then he immediately tells us that one) she is a fertility specialist, and two) she “says [he’s] part of the problem” because he won’t have kids the natural way. This is immediately setting off red flags to me – I can think of plenty of my friendships where we give one another grief for various things, but I would never think of introducing any of them to someone else with that fact. So my reflexive thought in this situation is “what kind of a friend is this really?”

And then, as the game goes on... This is the only thing that Gil’s conversations involve, the prospect of having kids. We do not learn much more about him, just have him talking about considering the idea. The lock-in for his romance requires Ryder to meet Jill, who Gil again says that she will talk his ear off about his “civic duty” to reproduce, a fact that makes those earlier red flags wave higher and more furiously, because who DOES that to a total stranger? And this is passed off as being “charming.” This leads to the culmination of the romance, where Gil says that Jill has decided she wants to get pregnant and she wants Gil to be the dad.

There’s... A LOT going on here, so let me work through this. First, one of the few things Gil says as a bit of establishing his character is that he is impulsive, that he joined the Andromeda Initiative, the journey from the Milky Way galaxy to the Andromeda galaxy without really thinking through what it would mean, that it was a one-way journey with no way to back out once he’d gotten there. So this is already saying to me that this is not a person who really SHOULD be a parent, at least at this point in his life.

We also get a couple of emails from him in-game that paint him as putting in thirty-six hour workdays into the engines on the Tempest, that he cares about and puts a lot of time into those engines. So when I think about him as a father, I see him having to give up something he’s deeply passionate about to do it, because the Tempest is certainly no place to raise a child – they can’t exactly put a playpen in the cargo hold, for example.

This would be one of the first things that I would think of as a discussion element, but... it’s not there. All that we get is a couple of casual comments about how Gil should know that bringing a child into the world is a big thing, something that shouldn’t be done lightly. But this is framed as Ryder questioning Gil’s fitness to be a parent at all, rather than questioning if he’s thinking this through and having considered this enough to be ready to take on this responsibility, or if it’s even something that he even wants.

Because that’s the other big thing here – this is not Gil’s idea. This is not something that he makes clear is his desire. No, it’s Jill who has decided that she wants to get pregnant and use Gil’s sperm. For all that he matters in this whole thing, he might as well be a turkey baster. He’s basically an accessory in his own story, because he goes in to this with all the passion of a math equation: “The Andromeda Initiative is a colonization effort. Therefore, the idea is to have babies. Therefore, I should find some way to reproduce.” This isn’t him having a passion or desire to have kids, just it being “something you do.”

This is, genuinely, a failure to understand the character who was being written. Gil’s writing reeks of having been written by someone who does not know what they are talking about. There is an element to the gay experience that is not innate but learned. When we realize that having children is not a thing that will just happen, that if we want this to happen, it will require a lot of additional steps, there are many who will simply say “this isn’t for me, this is more work than I’m willing to put in to for this.”

Now, Gil could have been someone who had decided it was worth it, but that butts up against the idea of him being impulsive, that he doesn’t think things through. There is no time given to focusing on the reason he decides this is the right choice for him, to the point that many players felt that this was not Gil’s decision but something that Jill was pushing, that she expected him to jump on her command. Because we have so little of Gil, as a character and an individual, but plenty of him talking up her, this “friendship” feels toxic to many.

Just about everyone I have ever spoken with about Gil is deeply uncomfortable that literally, the only way that he will not have a child at this point is if a romanced Ryder stops him – if I am playing a game where I don’t romance him, I actively just stop interacting with him at a certain point so that this never comes up, because this does not come across as happy. It comes across as forcing a gay man into a heteronormative experience to satisfy some traditional idea of “man and woman, raising kids.”

And, as the cherry on top, if you do tell Gil that you’re not comfortable having kids – a very real thing, whether gay or straight – then, unlike other romances, Gil and Ryder do not share a kiss at the finale of the game. And, during the last conversations on Meridian, the only thing Gil even brings up is Jill being pregnant, whether or not it’s his child.

This is what “representation of gay men” amounted to in Mass Effect Andromeda. A homophobic story that was about a gay experience written by someone who is not a part of this community and does not know or understand the experience personally, going through the motions of development when really, all that is cared about is the end result. To say that most of the gay men I know who have played this game find this homophobic is to undersell the point.

It doesn’t help that, of all the Tempest romances, Gil also clocks in with the least amount of romance exclusive material – a few flirts, the romance lock in and scene, and being able to stop Gil from having kids. Other than that, his friendship and his romance are virtually identical.

Speaking of, the romance scene consists of a make out session that fades to black, before coming back in with Ryder and Gil, shot from about shoulders up, briefly wrapping up their conversation that preceded the fade to black. This is noteworthy when the heterosexual romances between Ryder and their human love interests, as well as Peebee and Jaal, the former having a similar body model to naked human women, just blue, and Jaal, who is naked at other points in the game, have much more involved romance scenes – Cora’s in specific received special attention.

All of this, individually, may have just been reflective of time crunch and other external pressures – we all understand the realities of game development, that for all the ambitions that go in, when the deadlines are nearing, something has to give. But taken collectively... The kindest question is to ask why all of the “give” happened in regards to the gay man?

The end result with Gil honestly feels like he was written in response to the bad faith arguments that had come up in the period after the name for the game was revealed and it was made clear that the game would follow a colonization effort. There were a contingent of people who said that “there shouldn’t be gay people coming along, a colonization effort needs to reproduce.” This is a bad faith argument from homophobes, trying to justify why they don’t want gay people in “their” games. In answering their question, the question they only “ask” in order to explain why they don’t want to have gay people in the game without saying that, it comes across as catering the gay content for a heterosexual audience. It should go without saying that this is a bad position to take.

So, that’s Gil. What about Reyes? Well, Reyes himself is bound to a single planet, which, again, points to a minimizing of how much content he will even get, since his content can only be accessed on this single planet. Likewise, Reyes, as a character, is someone who falls in to several old, tired tropes with regards to bisexual men – he is a shady, untrustworthy character, in this instance literally a criminal, meant to be evocative of the “dashing rogue” archetype. This is a characterization that has often been BioWare’s go-to with regards to bisexual men, because we see this archetype drawn on in Jade Empire’s Sky, Dragon Age Origins’ Zevran, Dragon Age 2’s Anders, and even elements exist in Dragon Age Inquisition’s Dorian (even if he is a gay man). It’s a well that BioWare has frequently tapped when it comes to a romance option for queer men, to the point that it starts to feel like BioWare in general believes that this IS what queer men are.

There’s also the questionable portrayal of Reyes that leads to a description of the trope “the depraved bisexual,” an explicitly bisexual character who uses sex and sexuality as a manipulative tool, that they treat others as simply there to be their toys. Over in Dragon Age Inquisition, one of the romance options was specifically NOT made bisexual in order to avoid this trope, but Reyes himself seems to be a candidate for that trope all the same.

All this, and, again, the romance options for gay men were unequal to those for everyone else. This prompted the campaign #MakeJaalBi – Jaal was, notably, the character initially assumed to be the bisexual male companion, and on release, his romance was heterosexual exclusive. But datamining revealed that there was code for him to be romanced by male Ryder. Indeed, on release, it was noteworthy that Jaal could not even be flirted with by male Ryder. Liam had a distinct turndown for male Ryder, a couple of them, depending on when Ryder flirts with him. Jaal had no such turndown.

And this worked. BioWare released the patch for Andromeda that gave Jaal a bisexual romance. However, this was the only change that Mass Effect Andromeda received in regards to the issues of the romances before support for the game ended. While it was seen as an improvement, it was also questioned why this was the only change, when... Well, I spent the better part of two pages outlining the problems of Gil’s portrayal.

(I feel I would be remiss to not mention there was also a character, Hainley Abrams, who would, upon interacting with her, proceed to deadname herself to Ryder, as if that is the only way to establish that a transgender person is trans. This was also changed in a patch after the trans community complained, and, in conjunction with the above, led more than a few people to wonder if the Andromeda script had been looked over by any queer sensitivity readers, given the earlier issues with Gil. This does go out of the scope of everything else in this discussion, but it is worth mentioning.)

When Mac Walters says players will talk about how Shepard is each of theirs, that every individual player approaches Shepard as being “their” Shepard, he isn’t wrong. He says the characters, and the relationships we have with the characters is the heart and soul of the series, he isn’t wrong. And yet... When I play the trilogy, my heart and soul are being torn apart, because I do not get to see myself in the trilogy. I am not there in this story, at least for two thirds of the way. And in that third that I am there, I feel like I am cared about less than my counterparts who are heterosexual.

The idea that “making” characters available for same sex romance changes them is like saying that there is some inherent difference in a person because of their sexualities. While it’s true that the experiences of queer people does offer different perspectives on matters, it does not fundamentally alter the person, the individual that we are. It does not change our heart and soul. Restoring the bisexuality of characters like Jack, Jacob, Ashley, Thane, or Tali is not changing who they are. Making Kaidan bisexual in ME3 did not change who he was, and restoring a romance between him and male Shepard in ME1 would not change him either.

Every game has some cut content surrounding queer content specifically, and a great deal of that content is specifically for gay players like myself. I said at the beginning that I once thought of myself as a BioWare fan for life, but that now comes with caveats. The caveats are pretty simple – while the games produced by BioWare once felt affirming, now they feel like they’re only grudgingly allowing me to be there. That if I must be there, I should just take the scraps I’m given and be content with that, rather than being treated as an equal.

I like to think that this is not the message that the people at BioWare wish to impart to their players. I like to believe BioWare’s statements of wanting to be an inclusive and welcoming environment for their players, regardless of gender, race, sexuality, orientation, whatever identity and label one chooses. But based on the experience of the last four games, of the Legendary Edition perpetuating the homophobia of over a decade ago... I have a hard time believing that.

BioWare games once made me feel like I was equal to the straight heroes across my media. Unfortunately, I don’t feel that way about their games anymore. Not when, after having the opportunity to restore the bisexuality of Kaidan – of multiple characters, really – in the Legendary Edition, I am still being told that offering representation for people like me is something that only comes grudgingly.

And if that’s what I see now... What does it say about what the future of the franchise will offer? If every game in this series involves fighting for content that, in particular, heterosexual players will see offered as the rule, what motivates me to want to continue to be invested and involved in this franchise?

[hopeshoodie]

Ok so I finally got caught up on CMM (anon, I have a lot going on right now, maybe don’t send me over ten asks with spoilers in them… I pinkie promise I’ll post once I read it) and thoughts-

Obviously the big one is Shannon and Hope. I would’ve paid all my gems to talk to either one of them, but I’m still a little salty that we did have to pay. For such a short scene, they recycled 30% of the dialogue towards the beginning and that was annoying. It would’ve been so easy to make them unique. Hope absolutely would have been insecure and said ‘did anyone ask about me’, but Shannon wouldn’t. Shannon doesn’t care, she could’ve said something like “lol does anyone even remember me?” or “it’s totally fine, sounds like it was an original islanders only party”. The reasons they gave for not being there were pretty good, and it makes me feel better than in-canon they weren’t un-invited. Hope’s part was much longer than Shannon’s but I liked Shannon’s more.

My big issue with the phone calls was that Hope’s call was just… flat. In the villa, Hope was smiling all the time, super expressive and warm, and her call just seemed really… flat. It lacked a warmth that being BFFs with her merits. And the conceit, that she’s at a stuffy wellness retreat trying to schmooze a client with her boss, would’ve been really ripe for her being expressive. Like “omg thank god a normal person, I’ve been doing nothing but smiling and agreeing all weekend”. I did like how she expressed insecurity and then corrected herself, it showed a lot of growth. I just wish there would’ve been more sincerity and personality.

I’m not mad about Chelsea and Rocco. I kinda don’t think they’ll last, because Rocco will eventually move on and Chelsea is desperately trying to cling to the experience of the villa through him. But I feel like it was effectively foreshadowed, and seems pretty in character for the both of them. It’s not the redemption arc I was hoping for Rocco though, I still hope Rocco sits down with Lottie or Priya and properly apologizes.

Chelsea’s password being BRA? Jesus christ, give it a rest, FB. She has more than one personality trait. The CMM writers really just latched onto 1-2 cute moments with each character in the main season and decided “this is all they think and talk about”. Same with Hope saying pacifically again and Priya’s gauche sunflower print.

The escape room bit was fun, but I wish the riddles hadn’t been multiple choice (instead the typing in thing and if you get it right Chelsea’s excited but otherwise has stock lines like ‘not quite… it’s a mirror!’). Also it would’ve been more fun if another character was trapped with MC, just to see them try to solve it. The humor in that section was good though, I especially liked the reaction to throwing the box at the wall.

LOVED the new outfits, they’re all super cute but like… Why did I spent 10 gems when literally no one’s going to acknowledge the costume change?? Like surely someone would be like “what… happened? Why did you change?” or even “you changed because you’re the murderer and were getting blood off your clothes!”. But nothing.

I’m not super invested in the mystery, and I don’t really mind that. The characters and their reminiscing is more important. But like… I don’t think the clues were handled very compellingly. The clues aren’t really tied to any one specific person, and they’re not insight into how the murders took place or what enabled the person to get away. It’s just… Here’s a note Chelsea gave you, here’s a thing that was at the scene. I’d like it more if it was things like ‘a bare footprint, a half drank wine glass, a cypher with a puzzle attached’. Something that you could be like ‘x character wouldn’t know how to do that, x character likes wine’ etc. 

Also I don’t love how it seems like the murderer changes based on your choices? Like if they’ve coded it so that everyone’s possibly the murderer and it’s just revealed based on player choice who it is that’s not… A mystery… Like I’d much prefer if only 1 person was the murderer, or there was a pre-set killer for each victim.

Lucas died in my game (I’m romancing Priya), and there was a chance to flirt with him before he died. I know other people had Lottie die if Gary was the LI, so who dies if Bobby is your LI? Can you romance Lottie and the other person?

My eggs are still all in the ‘Noah’s the murderer’ basket.

I really hate how explicit the switch between the mystery and socializing has been. Obviously that’s a facet of everyone playing characters, but like three times now there’s been “let’s get back to the mystery!” or “let’s stop the mystery to socialize” and it just feels clunky and breaks up the story. I’d prefer if all of the characters collectively disregarded the characters they’re playing, except when clearly delivering dialogue in reaction to things, so that there’s less “are you in character right now or are you you?”. I’d also change it so that everyone really casually talks about their theories and the mystery but for the most part isn’t super invested in it. That way the player can choose to be the only one who cares about the mystery and solving it, or we can do away with the back and forth about it. I don’t know, I’m just not a fan of how we keep interrupting GOOD scenes like MC/her LI bonding, reminiscing with people, or Chelsea announcing her relationship to be like ‘lol let’s talk about a mystery’.

I’m shipping Lucas and Priya more than MC and Priya because when romancing her, Priya really doesn’t have any personality outside of ‘interested in MC’, versus when she’s roleplaying with Lucas or around everyone else she’s back to being herself. It’s creating this weird dynamic where the writing makes it seem like Priya is /uncomfortable/ or not herself when romancing MC, to the point where I feel guilty?? Like she seemed more in-character and excited when talking about a guy who dumped her than she has been when kissing and doing the nasty with MC all night. Like honestly you could replace her with Rahim in all her romance scenes and it would be more in-character for Rahim.

Overall I’m... Enjoying it. Like I’m not stopping mid-episode to do something else like I was with S3. But tbh I think I enjoyed Boat Party more, and I’m really only thinking about specific scenes and headcanons after putting my phone down (as opposed to S2 and S1 which lived in my head rent free after playing an episode) 

Maybe part of that is I have a really poor working memory and prefer to binge consume media instead of playing it week by week, so I lose interest each week. Once it’s fully released I’ll have to play it in one go and let yall know if it’s actually bad or I’m just bad. 

[gastricpierrot]

Title: Ships in the Night 

Series: Genshin Impact

Relationship: ZhongVen

Rating: T

Summary:

Barbatos had always wanted to enjoy a Ludi Harpastum with Morax, making so many empty promises with him over the years to go together one day. A festival of fun and games close to his own heart, it’s a change of pace he always thought Morax could appreciate. They finally manage this after all these centuries, yet Barbatos just had to be an idiot at the very end.

He rests his arm over his eyes, exhaling a slow breath. He's such an idiot.

Also on AO3

--------------------------

The sheer idea of festivities lasting two whole weeks sounds absolutely exhausting to Morax, yet even at the peak of the Ludi Harpastum, Mondstadt’s people do not seem like they are slowing down anytime soon.

Morax’s tugged along by the cuff of his sleeve, Barbatos in the lead as they weave their way through the packed streets. Songs and cheer fill the air, mingled with the scents of various food, flowers, and of course, the city’s beloved wine. Barbatos himself is already tipsy despite it still being rather early in the day, having downed almost every pint of free alcohol that’s offered to him by the countless vendors they come across. There's an occasional stumble in his steps, but his spirits remain high as he shows Morax around with wholehearted excitement, a bright grin across his lips, a lively blush on his cheeks.

Morax finds the myriad of sensations dizzying, too many sights and sounds and scents bombarding him all at once—and he holds on to Barbatos’ presence for balance. Barbatos, in contrast, seems to harbour no such qualms, flitting from one booth to the next with ease, only pausing to look back when he finds something he wants to recommend. The apples from this store, the handcrafted trinkets from another, the freshly made Mora Meat from yet another one. He isn’t shy when it comes to haggling—even though Morax did remember to bring his wallet for once (much to Barbatos’ exaggerated horror) and he’s certain there would be enough between them to last the day—but it seems to be a normal occurrence to the vendors. Morax watches their good-humored banters, sees how comfortable Barbatos is around these parts and in these situations.

It’s clear how much he loves Mondstadt, and how much he is loved in return.

They spend the rest of the afternoon like this, navigating the packed streets, Barbatos showing him his favorite spots, stopping only for the occasional breathers and snacks. Mondstadt’s festivals have a very different atmosphere to them compared to those back in Liyue, unique in a way Morax can’t exactly pinpoint. Rowdier, perhaps, with the people more comfortable when it comes to mingling with strangers. Morax has lost count of the number of times he’s been randomly approached to be given some sort of gift, or to be invited for meals or gatherings he politely declines. Perhaps the community here is simply tighter knit as a whole, as compared to the more family-centric people of Liyue.

Barbatos leads him to a park at some point, declaring it’ll be their last stop before he has to prepare for a performance after sunset. Morax notices how it’s mainly families and children in this area, not a single wine vendor in sight. There are booths for games instead, where players will have the chance to earn various prizes if they win. Each is packed with groups of youngsters, all vying for the best toys on offer. Shrill, excited voices cheered and jeered at one another; in a way inciting even more chaos here compared to the people crowding the market lanes.

“Why don’t you give one a try? Even adults are allowed to play, you know,” Barbatos suggests when Morax stops to watch a child’s attempt at a game of throwing hoops over cups marked with numbers. Morax glances at him, sees his wayward smile.

“I don't think it’d be fair to the young ones if I did,” he says, to which Barbatos only barks out a laugh.

“Show off,” he retorts, and even Morax cracks a smile.

“Um, excuse me.”

They’re just about to continue on their way when a voice calls out to them. Morax turns around, not seeing anyone until it occurs to him to look down. A lone young girl stares at him wide-eyed from below, a messy flower crown clutched tightly in her hands.

“Mister, please have this!” She offers the item to him, her words slightly rushed from her enthusiasm. Morax has turned down countless gifts throughout the day, but this time, at least, he knows better than to needlessly upset a child.

So he kneels down to be a little closer to eye-level with her. “It is an honor to receive your gift.”

She stretches out her arms, and Morax tips his head to let her crown him.

The child giggles in delight as she steps back. “You really are like a prince, mister! Bye-bye!”

Morax watches her run back to her parents a little way off, warmth blossoming in his chest as he waves his own farewell to her. He gets back on his feet, and finds Barbatos looking at him with an expression he’s never seen him wear.

“It suits you,” he says, like he actually means it rather than the usual sarcasm Morax’s expected he would go for. He supposes he must be quite the sight, a full-grown adult with a falling-apart flower crown perching lopsided atop his head.

“It probably suits you more, Bar—” he stops himself just in time, remembering that they’re here only as humans and nothing more, and that they should at least make a bit of effort to keep up appearances. Though, it's not like anyone within their vicinity would actually be paying attention.

“Venti,” he tries anyway, and immediately breaks into a frown. The name still feels strange on his tongue, no matter how much he’s tried to practice saying it.

“Gods, it does feel weird hearing you call me that,” Barbatos admits with a slight wince, but Morax could somewhat tell that he appreciates it, nonetheless. It's the way his features brighten at the sound of it, the way his eyes would light up ever so slightly. It is, after all, a name bestowed upon him by a beloved friend many years ago. Barbatos has not been called such for a long time. “But yeah, no, you should keep that. Have some fun, let loose a little!”

Morax doesn’t exactly see how wearing flowers in his hair contributes to “letting loose”, but he doesn’t argue.

They have time to go grab something for dinner just as dusk falls, and then Barbatos is bringing him to what he claims to be one of the main final highlights of the Ludi Harpastum: an event of all night drinking and fireworks. There are several spots around the city hosting such sessions, all offering endless streams of food and alcohol sponsored by Mondstadt’s major wineries. Barbatos will be performing in the one held at the city square—the main place, he boasts—first of the few bards invited there to further enliven the mood.

Dozens of chairs and tables are set up across the open space, most already packed with people by the time they get there. There’s a small stage at the very front, the sides of the venue lined with booths in charge of the food and drinks. Waiting staff donning bright uniforms dart from table to table, expertly weaving their way around the already half-intoxicated crowd.

It’s almost overwhelming; the energy, the pungent scent of food and strong wine, the sheer rowdiness of the people gathered around. Morax stops by a convenient tree a respectable distance away from the square, just far enough that the chances of a random drunkard stumbling over and dragging him in would be minimal.

And “I think I’ll stay here,” he says, when Barbatos turns to him with raised eyebrows.

“Don’t want to join in?” he asks, despite Morax’s answer already being obvious.

“I’m sure I can enjoy the atmosphere well enough from here.”

“Hmm, fair enough.” Barbatos shrugs after a quick gauge of the distance between them and the heart of the event. Then he smiles, hands on his hips. “Anyway. I’ll get going first, then. I’ll come find you when I’m done?”

“If I haven’t already left,” Morax says, because he genuinely does not know how much of this unbridled revelry he can tolerate. Even now, part of him wants nothing more than to walk off and find somewhere quiet to wind down for the rest of the evening.

Of course, his statement immediately gets Barbatos whining. “At least wait for me!!!”

“Just go before you’re late.” Morax shoos him off, though he doubts anyone present currently retains even the slightest sense of time.

“Fine, fine!” Barbatos relents, cheeks still puffed, “but I’m going to throw rocks at you if you really leave without me, alright?”

Morax halfheartedly assures he can throw as many rocks at him as he wants if it comes to it, then with a sudden rush of wind and a final harrumph, Barbatos turns on his heels and strides towards the stage, his people cheering his name the moment they spot him.

“Looking forward to what you have for us tonight, Venti!”

“Venti you rascal, you really made us wait this time!”

“Venti, you’re looking lovely as ever!”

Venti, Venti.

The descent of a god, unknown to his own people.

Barbatos takes his seat on the single stool placed on the stage, crossing his legs just so, his posture relaxed yet brimming with elegance. The wind carries the sounds of his lyre all the way to where Morax stands, clear and proud amidst the endless chatter of the crowd. He begins with a slow tune, a moment of calm cutting through the chaos. Demanding attention.

Quiet. Listen.

Morax too, catches himself holding his breath.

And then Barbatos strums another note and smoothly transitions into a new tune, and the crowd explodes with excitement. His next song matches more to the barely suppressed merriment around him, its melody upbeat and festive. He’s skilled at involving his audience, easily encouraging them to sing and dance along. Charming, radiant. He captivates all who behold him—even Morax, despite such genre of music never being to his tastes. It’s a rather belated realization to come to, but seeing him fully in his element like this, Morax can tell that Barbatos’ boastings indeed hold their weight, and that he truly has mastered the craft of a bard.

Barbatos leaves the stage around the middle of his fourth song, slipping into the crowd as he continues his performance. He sings and twirls and dances, one with his people—and somehow still, Morax spots him managing to down some drinks in between. His current song involves a back and forth; he sings one line, then prompting the nearest person to follow up. It seems to be a piece everyone’s wholly familiar with, all who enthusiastically join in barely stumbling on their turn.

Morax notices too, after a few minutes of observation, that it also seems to be endless; constantly looping around the chorus. He wouldn’t put it past Barbatos for doing this deliberately, for as long as it continued, he could drink.

And he does drink. He drinks so much that it’s almost impressive, since he only has a few seconds at a time to gulp down his alcohol. Morax wrinkles his nose from afar, already dreading the stench he would exude when he returns later.

Morax doesn’t see it, at first. He can pinpoint Barbatos’ general location based on the reaction of the people and when he hops onto benches and tables for some elevation, but he’s partly obscured from his sight most of the time. It’s only as Barbatos makes his way further towards the back of the crowd, closer to where Morax stands, that he notices how else some members of his audience interact with him.

People who take advantage of the general unruliness of a large-scale drinking session in a packed area, hands that touch places past normal boundaries. His thighs, his back, his neck.

Barbatos does not falter, either too immersed in his own performance or too intoxicated to realize and care. Or perhaps he is simply used to this, having been a bard for as long as he’d been a god. Morax does not know.

Fire flares in his stomach the longer he watches, filling his mouth with a bitter taste. It is truly an uncomfortable sight. Intoxication is not consent, nor is silence. Morax could not stand it for long, reaching for the flower crown on his head and tossing it aside before striding toward where Barbatos is lingering within the crowd.

He grabs a person by the wrist and wrenches their hand away from Barbatos, his grip hard enough to make them cry out. Barbatos must’ve heard the commotion, turning at the sound and eyes widening in surprise when he sees Morax right there behind him.

Morax glares at him—a misdirection of his anger, he admits—but he only breaks into a satisfied grin, and finally decides to move his song along. He leaps onto the nearest table, feet stepping delicately between the many glass mugs piled across its surface. His tune reaching a crescendo, his finale presented with flourish.

His audience, quite literally, erupts into cheers and applause.

Barbatos half stumbles down from the table amidst the cacophony of the reception, Morax moving to catch him just as his knees buckle beneath him and he loses his balance. He's trembling, his forehead visibly damp with sweat.

And before Morax can properly help him get back on his feet, he throws up all over his sleeve.

xXx

Barbatos supposes his age must finally be catching up to him.

Or perhaps he’d simply overestimated himself, thinking that participating in the Ludi Harpastum’s all-night drink session wouldn’t be too different from his usual gigs, only with a little more people.

Perhaps he shouldn’t have stepped off the stage in the first place, shouldn’t have danced quite so hard, and should’ve saved the drinking until after his performance ended. The lack of air, the thick haze of human odour mixed with the saccharine scent of alcohol, his own sweeping movements—Barbatos had not expected them to combine into an experience quite so nauseating, even for a god.

He vaguely remembers throwing up once more while Morax carried him somewhere, then a third time in a washroom he didn’t recognize. Then he draws a blank after that.

He stirs to find himself on a bed, his clothes replaced with a set of loose cotton pajamas and his body smelling faintly of floral soap. His head throbs with a dull ache, but he figures he’s seen worse days. More than anything, he feels dehydrated, his lips dry and throat like sandpaper. He braces his palms against the mattress, and slowly pushes himself upright.

He's in a dimly lit room, probably one in an inn not too far off from the venue of the drink fest. He hears the sounds of running water from behind the door opposite the bed; Morax is probably there cleaning up after the mess Barbatos made. There’s a jug on the bedstand, a fresh glass of water already poured out for him. Barbatos’ chest warms as he reaches for it, endeared by how fastidious Morax remains, despite everything.

He returns to lying down a little later, admittedly just a little bitter at how things have turned out. He’s had such an amazing day. He'd always wanted to enjoy a Ludi Harpastum with Morax, making so many empty promises with him over the years to go together one day. A festival of fun and games close to his own heart, it’s a change of pace he always thought Morax could appreciate, since he’s constantly at work. They finally manage this after all these centuries, yet Barbatos just had to be an idiot at the very end.

He rests his arm over his eyes, exhaling a slow breath. He's such an idiot.

The sounds of the shower eventually come to a stop, leaving a ringing sort of silence in their absence. The ruckus of the ongoing party not far off carries all the way to their window; people laughing, cheering, singing. Fireworks bursting in the sky.

He'd wanted to show Morax the fireworks too, damn it.

He lowers his arm and turns when he hears Morax stepping out of the bathroom. He’s wearing a similar set of pajamas as himself, though admittedly it looks so out of place on him that Barbatos almost lets out a snort.

“Hey,” he greets, because he’s genuinely not sure how else he should start. Morax meets his gaze from behind his damp fringe, his face betraying no particular emotion.

“Hey,” he returns, every bit as curt. Barbatos cracks a lopsided smile, and decides there’s no point trying to go around it.

“Listen, Morax, I’m so sorry things ended up like this,” he says, twisting to lie on his side facing him. Morax doesn’t respond to that immediately, and neither does Barbatos see much of a change in his expression.

“Barbatos, how many times do you think I've had to handle your drunk antics over the years?”

Barbatos winces at that. “Now you’re making me feel even worse.”

“You should,” Morax agrees, running a towel over his damp hair. “It’s about time you realize how self-centered and inconsiderate and – “

“Okay, okay, I get it!!” Barbatos interjects before his feelings are actually hurt. “I’m sorry!”

Morax only shoots him a meaningful look and says nothing else, knowing at the end of the day he’d do it all over again anyway. Barbatos supposes he can’t blame him; he’s more aware than anyone that he’s been the way he is for more than a millennium, never once giving even the slightest indication that he would change.

Maybe it’s time he considers, after all that’s happened today, but he decides he’ll mull over that some other time.

His eyes follow Morax as he steps away to hang his towel on a rack, his confusion growing when Morax proceeds to stand rooted in place, frowning slightly and arms crossed as though deep in thought. Barbatos stares at him for a solid couple of minutes before speaking up.

“What are you doing?”

“Thinking about what I should do next,” Morax answers, in all seriousness. Barbatos can’t believe this man is for real. He bursts into laughter, earning himself a puzzled look.

“You really don’t know what ‘rest’ means, do you?” he marvels, then scooting closer against the wall and patting the empty spot before him. “Come here and lie down, we’ve been up and about the entire day. Aren’t you tired?”

Morax’s frown deepens by a fraction. “But I don’t think there’s sp-”

“There’s more than enough space for the both of us!” Barbatos assures, chest light with newfound mirth. Morax really is too much of a gentleman at times. “This bed’s huge!”

Morax remains hesitant for a moment longer, but with just a little more gentle pestering, he relents in the end. “Then, if I may.”

Barbatos watches as he moves to take the space beside him, watches the way his long hair falls over his shoulders, the way the collar of his shirt shifts to reveal the hollow of his throat, a small window of his chest.

Morax fully lies down, and Barbatos realizes there really is just enough space for them to stay still like this. Huh. Has Morax always been such a big person? Or maybe the bed really isn’t that wide to begin with, and whatever alcohol lingering within his system is just messing with his perception of space. Not that it matters at this point. Morax still smells fresh from his shower, his uncharacteristically messy hair and comfortable clothes giving him an air of innocence Barbatos never expected to see on him. Unguarded, youthful. They’re a mere half-arm's length apart, close enough that Barbatos can almost feel his every exhale of breath.

“So how did you find the Ludi Harpastum?” he asks, voice barely above a whisper, perhaps part of him being rather conscious about the little distance between them. Did it live up to the expectations he set for him by constantly inviting him to one over the years, he wonders? Did Morax at least enjoy himself a little with all the festivities? Barbatos noticed he’d mostly followed his lead, trying the many things he’d recommended to him, visiting only the places he brings him. Barely making many choices for himself. It’s too late at this point, yet Barbatos still worries about being overbearing without meaning to. Could Morax really have had fun without as much as a freedom of decision?

“It was...” Morax trails off ominously, pausing to weigh his words while Barbatos braces himself for the continuation. “Different, I suppose.”

“A good different or a bad one?”

“Just different,” Morax affirms. “It certainly feels livelier than the celebrations in Liyue.”

“Then,” Barbatos perks up, a little more hopeful now with the way Morax has responded so far. “What did you like most?”

Morax hums to that, silent in a moment of contemplation. “If I were to choose, I quite enjoyed some of the places we visited.”

He goes on to recall the few locations he’d found a liking to, admiring the history and cultural significance of each that Barbatos had explained to him, the various architectural designs and artistic liberties that define Mondstadt’s trademarks. The motifs of the cobbled streets, the poems framed and hung inside windmills serving as charms for Barbatos’ blessings, even the theme of the patterns carved on many a doorplate—Morax seems to have been quite fascinated by them.

He wears a different expression when he talks about the things that strikes his fancy. A slight upturn of his lips, the faintest crinkles at the corner of his eyes. Even his voice adopts a different tone, laced with a smallest hint of excitement—perhaps even joy, because someone cares to listen.

Barbatos could listen to him like this for an eternity, if he had the chance.

“You’re staring at me,” Morax stops to say at some point, a slight knit across his brow. Barbatos supposes he must be wearing quite the expression, for him to look at him like that. But he could not help it; after all, who wouldn’t be utterly captivated by someone as quietly radiant as this god before him?

“I think I'm in love with you, Morax.”

Are the words that take form, a confession he’s surely taken long enough to make. He no longer even remembers when was the first time it’d dawned him, that his feelings for Morax had progressed into something that wasn’t platonic. How many years has it been since he started seeing him with a different sort of admiration, with the barely suppressible urge of wanting to be closer to him?

Morax blinks at him once, twice. Processing what he’s just heard; understandable, as it really had come out of nowhere.

Then he averts his gaze, reaching to cover his mouth as a wave of red creeps up his entire face.

“Why don’t you tell me that again when you’re sober?” he mumbles into his hand, and Barbatos effectively short-circuits for a moment.

“This is the most sober I’ve been all day, though???”

Morax is adamant, shifting to turn away from him as though to physically end the conversation. “That’s what a drunk person would say. Now stop talking and go back to sleep.”

“No, no, no, isn’t this a little sudden?? Morax??” Barbatos is half laughing now, seeing how desperately Morax is trying to deal with his own embarrassment. It is surprisingly contagious, though; even he’s starting to feel a little shy the longer he badgers him.

“Morax?? Heyyy, Morax? Rex Lapis?”

And yet he refuses to let it stop him. He can see how red Morax’s ears are even from behind him like this. Barbatos pokes at his back, a mix of fondness and mischief welling in his chest when the idea occurs to him.

He squirms forward, closing the little distance between them.

“Zhongli.”

Morax tenses at that, the slightest reaction that Barbatos would’ve missed if he as much as blinked. He's...really cute when he’s like this. Part of Barbatos refuses to believe that this is happening. Morax, the Geo Archon, the honourable Rex Lapis, Adepti Prime—has this absurdly adorable side to him.

“Zhongli,” Barbatos dares to say again, just to see what other sort of response he could elicit from him. “Zhongli.”

He leans out of the way just in time before Morax twists to face him once more, bracing himself for a well-deserved smack—but is instead pulled into a tight embrace.

“You’re so obnoxious,” Morax says, his exasperation obvious even in his quiet tone. Barbatos smiles as he returns the hug with just a much intensity, leaning into their contact with a sigh, a swell of his heart.

Morax is much warmer than he could’ve ever imagined.  

xXx

They say that both the Geo and Anemo Archons are fond of disguising as humans, often descending from their divine residence in Celestia to mingle with the commonfolk of their respective nations.

No one knows what are their preferred appearances, as oftentimes they are indistinguishable from the everyday person. No one knows if they preferred to present as men or women or even children, or if the rumours of them taking human form even hold any truth. After all, who’s to say they wouldn’t choose to appear as an animal, a sprite, or perhaps a fragment of the elements they embody?

Not many in the nations of Liyue and Mondstadt have ever had the chance to see their respective gods, nor to realize that they’ve lain eyes upon them at all. It is something the people have accepted to simply leave up to chance, as there is no point to obsessing over the miniscule possibility of coming face to face with the deity they worship. There are enough mundane things worth paying attention to on the daily; the clarity of the skies, the specials available in the markets, the trees newly bearing fruit.

A particular sight has grown more common as well within the borders of the two neighbouring nations in recent years, one of a pair often spotted strolling together through the busy city streets, the bustling villages, and even the vast wilderness, when the weather is agreeable.

Should one have their stars aligned just right, they may just chance upon a certain bard and gentleman, both usually engrossed in jovial chatter or some lighthearted bickering no matter the location. Oddly out of place sometimes, seeming right at home the rest. Greet them if you wish, and they would usually respond warmly in return. But take heed, at times you may notice their hands linked and fingers intertwined, the pair lost in a world of their own—and that will be your sign to give space, for even gods would appreciate a little time to themselves.

[radramblog]

my favourite mtg character

Innistrad 3 spoilers are in full swing, and with the return of Liesa (which is baffling lorewise) and the new Sigarda, Angels are coming to mind for a lot of Magic players. And so it was that this morning, immediately after having read, digested, and theorycrafted said new Liesa that I got to thinking that I should probably write this post I’ve had in mind for a while.

Magic’s lore has a lot of characters at this point, both cooky and cool, comic and tragic. Angels often lean most heavily towards the latter, a result of the religious implications and iconic status of the tribe overall. But today, I’d like to talk about my favourite character in all of Magic, one who, despite being an angel, strikes more a balance between those two archetypes.

She’s an Angel and a Legend, but she’s no Mythic powerhouse. She’s a cool commander, but not overpowered enough to terrorize the table. She’s in one of my favourite colour combinations, one known for Angel decks, but she surpasses the issues a lot of those decks have. Her name is Tiana, and she’s cute and I like her a lot.

Tiana first shows up in Dominaria’s 3rd story article, the creatively named Return to Dominaria: Episode 3. This is not the start of her story, however, and so I’m not going to start there. Rather, her backstory begins one Episode later, starting quite literally with her initial thoughts upon coming into existence.

Angels are kind of a funny thing in Magic lore, at least on Dominaria. They’re supposed to be manifestations of pure White Mana- as in, if you gave a bunch of white mana a face, you’d end up with an angel, and basically no matter how much you messed with it beforehand you’d still end up with an angel in the end. Angels on Dominaria are manifested from the prayers of the people, and come with a lifelong purpose- to protect, and to fight the enemies of evil. This is what Tiana assumes her job is going to be literally from the moment she starts to exist, and she’s filled with the glorious purpose of this design.

This is not what her job is going to be.

Instead, Lyra Dawnbringer, pretty much the boss of the angels on the plane, informs her that she’s instead a Guardian Angel. That’s fine, we’re still on the protection angle, sounds great- oh so she’s guarding the Great Machine. Which is an irrigation system. Yeah, sure, okay. Apparently the mortals of the plane were so devoted to hoping to whatever gods they’re fond of that this thing works that the energies of the plane made an angel to guard it. Not the most glamorous job to have in your sublime existence, but it still seems pretty important, so sure! Why not. Tiana is a little disappointed, but she’s not about to turn around on the literal reason she exists. She gets over it a little, gets suited up, and gets ready to fly to her machine of residence.

The Great Machine is already destroyed when she gets there. Razed to the ground, workers dead to a man, at the hands of the Cabal.

I’d like to bring up quickly, that while Magic story has always been hit or miss, and more miss than hit, the Dominaria story is actively quite good. Like, not just for Magic, just generally a series of really solid stories. Authors often struggle under the weight and restrictions that this kind of writing presents, but Martha Wells does an excellent job making these characters actually pop, even as minor as most of them are.

Tiana eventually finds herself as the chief engineer for the rebuilt Weatherlight, the legendary skyship that serves as the centre for much of 90s Magic Story, and whose reassembly and restaffing is much of the story of the new set. It turns out that a combination of being a guardian angel for a machine, having effectively nothing to do with an immortal life, and being a massive fucking nerd make her perfect for the job. The entire Weatherlight crew are in some way unusual but that style of character teambuilding is usually really great.

(Art credit to @mochaqt_)

And, as a result, Tiana’s character design is a standout apart from the majority of Magic’s angels. She’s kind of like Rosie the Riveter (as the above fanart alludes), the kind of person to be covered in grease stains and wearing overalls than the usual flowing robes and dresses. She wields a spanner just as often as a sword, and actively involves herself in the nitty-gritty rather than watch on from above. In a word, she’s practical.

For how little time she spends in the spotlight, they really do fit a lot of character into Tiana’s package. Her story is one of loss, of holding on hope to the status quo, and learning to move past it when the time comes. Her magically, spiritually ingrained purpose in life is null from the get-go, and the following lack of direction is something I find extremely relatable. She’s also understandably naïve, considering she’s technically extremely young, a trait which is charming when combined with her literal god-given knowledge of history and, eventually, mechanics.

But of course, Tiana is not just a character in a story, but also a functional game piece made of cardboard and ink. Part of the design of Dominaria as a set was a focus on stories and legends, both of the plane’s (and game’s) past and the new characters of the present, as represented by the Historic mechanic and the introduction of the first Uncommon Legendary Creatures since Kamigawa block. For the set, all 10 2-colour pairs got one new Legendary character to build around for both Commander and Draft, with Tiana representing the Red/White Auras/Equipment archetype that supplemented the focus on artifacts that Historic provided. Tiana’s place in draft was a little awkward, seeing as her main ability rarely comes up, but she’s an incredibly interesting card to work with in the EDH format.

She’s been much overshadowed by other cards like Feather at this point, but Tiana is still a reasonably popular Boros commander at 209 decks (at time of writing). It’s a number that screams “underrated” more than anything. She’s one of those excellent designs that lets you use cards that no other deck would possibly want- in this case, cards like Mortal Obstinacy or Capashen Standard, and turn them into powerful value engines. Her one key ability is just such a cool line of text, and one that perfectly suits her character- she fixes that which ends up broken and returns them somewhere safe. It is kind of a shame there aren’t that many cards to make her work, but I’m more than willing to try to do it.

…eventually. I haven’t actually built her a deck yet.

But that’s pretty much it. Tiana, Ship’s Caretaker is a card and a character I really, deeply enjoy, as she’s both relatable and fun and funny and interesting. With as iffy as Magic plotlines tend to be, it’s kind of a surprise for a character to be so resonant, especially considering what recent offerings have looked like. She’s the coolest Angel in the game, and I will fight the Avacyn/Akroma stans on that one.

[sonicringbond]

Sonic Ring Bond: The Journey - Scene 52

Hopefully as everyone is reading this things have improved for me. My mental state has been a bit of mess at the time of writing this. I’ve had fears for the future of the AU and my ability to write it at all. While I have big plans and changes in store, it’s surprisingly difficult to stay enthusiastic. Strangely, only my primary villain seems to keep me motivated. But they won’t appear here, too an extent I suppose, but there is another villain who returns in this scene. I’ll let you see who now in...

    “Oh~! I see more flowers,” Blister began as she stepped through the Ring Gate and watched Zooey embrace Tails. She grew distracted a moment however as she took in the sight of the Ring Gate Beacon room. The ceiling of shifting blocks covered in glowing geometric patterns was almost mesmerizing. “Wow~. I have to get one of these on my ship.”

    “Maybe later,” Tails stated as he put his hands on Zooey’s shoulders and pushed her back, although as gently as he could. “Right now, we have to support Sonic. Zooey, can we map out the catacombs from the bridge.”

    “The Engineers and I already have a map in place,” Zooey confided in Tails, though still peeked around him curiously at Draw and Blister. Tails’ urgency pulled her back however as she felt his grip tighten on her shoulders. “We can use the same sonar method we used to map the city to keep track of Sonic and give him a heads up if anything goes sideways.”

    “That’s great,” Tails sighed relieved and started to hurry for the bridge, stopping only long enough to look back and ask Zooey another question. “Is it sensitive enough to pick out people?”

    “I don’t believe it is, but the catacombs should be large enough for the Tornado to fly through.”

~|~

    “Ho! An aeroplane of all things to best Claymore the Purple,” Claymore scoffed as he strode through brick halls that were open on one side to a cavernous hall beyond. “How the mage caused so much trouble with so small a force. No less he bought the time to take to the skies again. Ho! It is like that I would do well to remember the name Sonic the Hedgehog, unless I should stop him and my other guest all at once.”

    Weighing the thought of confronting two Ring Mage’s, Claymore chuckled nervously to himself. “Ho! My first real battle since waking and I must face two Ring Mages. Would that I could be joined in battle by my fellow knights.”

~|~

    “I don’t like it,” Rosy puffed up her cheeks, her problems multifold.

    “Well, you’ll just have to bear with it,” Sonic encouraged Rosy to not let the situation get to her. As he was sitting on top of her pressing her deeper into the cockpit of the Tornado, his words seemed uncaring. Though they were no meant to bet, he had his own problems controlling the biplane as he had one hand occupied holding onto Rosy’s tarot card case. “Just consider it for your own protection.”

    “I don’t need protected,” Rosy puffed her cheeks up even more. “Besides, if what Tails said is true, we won’t have time for me to be kept safe. We have to go stop Ix.”

    “You know who you’re talking to, right kid?” Sonic feigned being hurt. But Rosy was not feeling playful.

    Beyond the cockpit, even squished uncomfortably behind Sonic as she was, Rosy could see Yoluku in the sky, the upside-down sunset becoming a tighter and more sinister smile with each passing moment. A chill ran through Rosy looking at it, and she could swear even without her cards that she heard those same whispers.

    It’s fine. This is fun isn’t it? Enjoying a desperate adventure to save the world with your true love. How entertaining!

    “Hrm~!” Rosy emitted a low growl and puffed up her cheeks more. Not liking the voice in her head, she contorted herself as best she could behind Sonic and managed to get access to her wrist device.

    “Tai~ls!” Rosy whined into it. “Please tell me you have somewhere for us to go!”

    -I do!- Tails’ voice came back across the radio.

    ~I want to feel relieved while Tails guides Sonic through how he needs to fly the Tornado into the catacombs. It’s actually a lot of fun too, the way Sonic pilots his plane around the towers of the city and down into a chasm I didn’t know was in the city. Ooh~! It’s so exciting, but the situation isn’t good. Yolk is… I don’t know what Yolk is any more, but I have a really bad feeling.

     ~It’s not like me to have bad feelings, especially when Sonic is here. I know he’ll save the day, but something isn’t right. I just have a hard time believing Ix was seen so easily. He had me and everyone else fooled when I first met him, so to think he would be seen going into these oversized catacombs. It just doesn’t feel right. I wonder if this is supposed to be a trap. But for who? Did he even know I was going to be here? Ooh~! I don’t like this!~

    “We’re going on foot from here,” Sonic stated as he landed the Tornado on a small ledge, bringing the short flight to an end. As he left the plane, he worked he wrist device under his ow glove cuff. “I’ll relay back to you what I see Tails, but you’re going to have to be on your game to get us to where you think our uninvited party crasher is going.”

    -No problem, Sonic!- Tails’ voice chirped confidently across the wrist device’s radio. -Just watch out for traps.-

    “No worries there,” Sonic laughed. “In case you haven’t forgotten, I have a world class rascal here to take care of them for me.”

    “Soni~c!”

    ~Sonic’s ability to stay cheerful, even in the face of danger is always so inspiring and always helps me forget that people call me strange for doing the same. I can’t help but smile running with him through these ancient stone tunnels. Though it would be nice if there were less traps. But, well, a lot of traps that needed to be tripped were already tripped as Sonic and I ran past them. It’s hard to say running so fast, but they look more like they were disarmed rather than tripped. I shouldn’t be surprised, but… I kind of feel like it looks too familiar how they’ve been disarmed.~

~|~

    “Alright, how much further do you want to drag me into this place! It’s been nothing but trap after trap and no rewards worth the risk!"

    “Silence, treasure hunter! I must endure this humility and so will you.”

    “Yikes! Don’t lose your feathers old man!”

    “An old man who will outlive you, treasure hunter!”

    “Alright, alright! Just put my gun down. I’ll stop asking questions.”

    “Perhaps it would be best if you both focused.”

    “Yeah, well if I could I’d leave you both under a pile of rubble if I thought it’d do anything you talkative pile of rocks.”

    “Keep talking, treasure hunter. It fascinates me how your mouth is able to dig a grave.”

    “Yikes!”

    Watching the antics of Doctor Fukurokov, former leader of the now all but defunct Battle Kukku Armada, and Fang the Sniper, the troublesome treasure hunter who introduced Rosy to the world of adventure for his own gains, Ix would have sighed if his stone form possessed lungs. The two were anything but dignified. Though at least Fang put on no airs of false dignity like Doctor Fukurokov.

    Still, Ix’s plans required both, lest he had been rid of them ages ago having learned all he needed from them via a forced Ring Bond.

    “There will be time for you to torment the Child of Chaos yet, Child of the Heavens,” Ix at last interceded by walking between the owl and jerboa-wolf hybrid. His actions were meant to do more than break line of sight between them however, as he continued forward causing Fang to panic.

    “Watch where you’re walking you blasted statue! You’re going to get us all killed!”

    Fang’s excited shouting carried through the catacombs, straight into the twitching ear of a certain pink hedgehog girl. “Fang!”

    “Him again, huh?” Sonic sighed in response to Rosy’s exclamation.

    “Ooh~! Don’t be like that Sonic!” Rosy chided Sonic before suddenly picking her own route deeper into the catacombs.

    “Hey! Amy! That’s not the way Tails is–”

    “It sounds like Fang is with Ix!” Rosy interrupted Sonic and dashed off, following the sounds of the voices and her intuition.

    “This isn’t a great time Amy! AMY!”

    Left with little choice, Sonic took off after Rosy. It was going to be far from a difficult task to catch her either. For as much as she did her best to run at Sonic’s speed, her stumbling and general clumsiness was not the practiced and instinctual scrambling that Sonic performed that allowed him to run freely nigh anywhere. As large as the catacombs were, however, Fang did not possess Sonic’s speed. As he was the one searching for traps, he was the one controlling the pace at which Ix’s party progressed.

    “Yeesh, the weasel, the surprisingly resilient birdbrain, and the statue who really would have been better served staying in bed,” Sonic remarked as he skidded to a halt and saw the odd group. Or at least odd to Rosy who did not see the panic on Fang’s face as anything but a desperate plea for help. Naturally, Sonic saw it differently. “So how are you going to lie your way out of this one, weasel?”

    “Ho! Funny, Ring Mage,” the voice of Claymore boomed from beyond Ix. “I was aiming to ask you and the medium the same.”

    “And now, all of the players are present,” Ix remarked, his blue glowing eyes taking in the autogolem knight, the treasure hunter and pirate, and the two hedgehog’s who he silently deemed the most troublesome of all his obstacles.

Scene 52 · CLEARED Party Crashing, to be continued

-----

And there we go. Two scenes left to finish up Season 1. There’s a lot of ground to cover, and hopefully I’ll be able to have Sonic meet my main villain. It’s just there is so much to cover, and it’ll likely inflate the scenes. The smart thing to do would be to stretch it out, but I really want to end the season inline with the anime season. So, if everything went well after I wrote this, in one week Season 1 will be finished and Season 2 will be quite different in it’s handling. Please look forward to it!

-----

Special Thanks to Cutegirlmayra Story by @JoshTarwater/SonicFanJ Inspiring Song – Insatiable (From “Final Fantasy XIV”) - Vocaloid Version – Azina, Masayoshi Soken – Insatiable (From “Final Fantasy XIV”)

[jeremys-blogs]

The Owl House: Top 10 Episodes

The Owl House's first season was made up on nineteen great episodes, but as with any show there were some I loved more than others. And here's my top ten of them.

10 - Witches Before Wizards: The first episode might have done a great job of establishing both the main cast and the world they're having their stories in, but it was really the show's second outing that truly cemented that this wasn't going to be a typical children's fantasy tale. Luz, overwhelmed by her years of wanting the perfect escapist fantasy, is seemingly given exactly what she wants and, with her current mentor looking like something of a disappointment, goes along with it right into a trap. This episode's clear message is that, whatever ideas Luz and the audience have of epic adventures in other worlds needs to be jettisoned right here and now, as such thinking simply leads to those like Luz being taken advantage of. It also helped to establish Eda, both as an unconventional type of mentor, but also as someone who genuinely cares for Luz's well-being. It's a story that firmly tells us that, if good things are to happen to us, we need to make them happen instead of waiting for others to hand such things to us, and that even a place that comes off as creepy and horrifying can have its appeal when looked at the right way. A fine episode that does well at helping to acclimatise us to the world of the Boiling Isles.

9 - Something Ventured, Someone Framed: Gus didn't really have that many standout moments in the show in the same way that Willow did, but I can safely say that his first (and thus far only) spotlight episode was a good one. Most of the time he's used either as "the supportive friend" or as comic relief, but here we got to see other sides to him, like his insecurities at being the youngest among his peers, or the fears he feels over losing even the small position he has among them. It was also a good show of how Luz isn't the only one who's going to be causing problems at Hexside, as Gus was very much responsible for the shenanigans this time, but he does win points for taking the blame and accepting the consequences of it. Also, special mention must also go to Eda for her subplot of trying to get Luz into the school. It really went to show how much she cared for the girl, since she was willing to make nice with a place she personally loathed because she knew how good it would be for her apprentice. Between Gus and Eda, this was a good little Hexside story with some good development for its two prominent players.

8 - The Intruder: This episode marked an important moment of development for all three of the main characters. For Luz it was her first real step in learning how to use magic in this world, as well as showing just how quick she is to be able to use it in an immediate situation. For King we got to see a softer side to him than we'd been seeing up to this point, and just how much he values Luz as a friend and someone to teach. And for Eda, this was the moment we came to realise just why she's separate from the rest of the Boiling Isles' society. Her curse, which is portrayed in much the same way as something akin to a chronic illness that real-world people would have to deal with, is clearly a bother to her and something that would play a pivotal part of later stories. And the horror aesthetic is of course a good framing device for all of this, giving our characters a desperate situation to not only show of what they can do, but also reveal secrets like Eda's condition. It was a dark, intense and very character-driven story that served as a massive wake-up call to the fact that danger can very much be right at their doorstep in this series.

7 - I was a Teenage Abomination: Here we got our big introduction to Hexside, a location that would provide a great many other great stories and serve as an important place for Luz. In addition, the episode also gave us a number of supporting characters, like soon-to-be friends Willow and Gus, and perhaps one of the show's most complicated characters, Amity. Luz's first arrival onto the scene, both for this school and its students, would prove to be her first real impact on this world, which would of course have consequences aplenty further down the line. Now of course, schools for magic are no stranger to works of fantasy, but this show does well in making Hexside its own thing, with its own feel distinct from other such institutions in fiction. And of course we once again have Eda utterly stealing the show with her early-season disdain for the place and her horror at the thought of Luz wanting to go there, though she admittedly does at least soften to the friends she makes in her brief encounter. Overall, a fun and enjoyable introduction to one of the most important places in the show, as well as giving Luz her first taste of a place that would come to mean a great deal to her later on.

6 - Covention: Like with our introduction to Hexside, this episode gives us a lot of information about the world of the witches and how things typically work here. We're told of the coven system, the magical authority that governs magic, as well as why Eda specifically is opposed to them, but at the same time we have Luz, who despite respecting her teach is open-minded enough to want to learn more and make her own decision on the matter, which was a nice touch as far as I'm concerned as it showed she wasn't just blindly obedient. And speaking of Luz, we get her next step in her relationship to Amity here, as we once more have the two at odds, but with that conflict eventually changing into one where Amity understands Luz more and where we learn that there's more shades to Amity than simply being a school rival. Eda too gets growth as a character, as we have our big introduction to her sister and the knowledge that the two don't have the best of relationships, culminating in one of the show's thus-far best pieces of animation when the two eventually duel, which would of course serve only as a prelude to a fight that came later. Overall, Covention had a lot packed in, and it was executed nearly flawlessly.

5 - Adventures in the Elements: Fun fact, I'd sort of debated with myself over whether this or Lost in Language would be included here, since both episodes share a lot in common. Both feature Luz learning more while also taking action that puts her in a bad light with Amity and both heavily involve Edric and Emira. In the end though I decided that I enjoyed this one more, and what's more it served as another important milestone in Luz's education, since it's really the first time Eda actively goes out of her way to teach her about magic. Additionally, we get some hints as to the true nature of magic in this world, something that Luz comes to know more than even her own teacher. We get hints that Luz's ways are something that the oldest witches did back in the day but has since been forgotten, as Esa herself seems to only vaguely know how that ancient power was used. Also, it's another case of Amity warming up to Luz, to the point where I'd officially call this the moment where the two became friends. And of course Edric and Emira were far more hilarious and likeable here than they were in Lost in Language, so there's that too.

4 - Enchanting Grom Fright: Let me get the obvious stuff out of the way first. Yes, the Lumity shipping moments are adorable and a great milestone for Disney. And yes, that dance sequence was brilliantly animated and easily worth the thousand-plus times I've gone back and watched it. But as good as all that stuff is, what really makes this episode work for me is Luz. Not only do we get another example of her well-meaning nature getting her into trouble, which is something of a recurring theme in this show, but it's also the episode that really addresses her decision to leave her world and be in the Boiling Isles. Throughout the story she's shown to be worried about both her mother back home and what the latter might think if she knew what Luz had really been doing these past few weeks. It's an understandable fear that she's been avoiding for, quite possibly, the entirety of her time in the show, and by the time the episode ends she's fully accepted that she needs to speak to her mother far more than she'd been doing. That, alongside great stuff from other characters, Like Amity's own fears and King struggling to find an audience, made this episode a truly special watch for me.

3 - Wing it Like Witches: In terms of pure entertainment value, as in just sheer fun, this episode easily makes it to my personal top. However, given that the remaining episodes all did more in terms of character and story, I felt it wouldn't really be right to have this one be any higher. But, it's still a hugely enjoyable outing for the show, and one that I've re-watched several times over since it first aired. And it's surprising that that's the case, given that sports movies (or even parodies of them) aren't something I usually enjoy, and this episode has it as both its A and B plots. But I guess that's a testament to the episode if I managed to be delighted by the story in the face of that. The character of Boscha proved a good "love to hate" antagonist that Luz, Willow and Amity must overcome, and it's especially satisfying to finally see Amity in particular break away from that kind of toxic crowd for good. But, not one to be one-upped, Eda herself gets a similar trouble to face when she challenges her sister to the same game, and much like with Luz it's very good to see her come out on top. In terms of how much the characters are developed, this one probably isn't winning any awards, but in terms of just how much fun it was for me, it's easily one of the best The Owl House has to offer.

2 - Agony of a Witch: Disney have had plenty of moments where the episodes prior to the finale are among the darkest and most serious stuff they make, and Owl House, it appears, has one more to add to that collection. Agony is, without question, the most intense story of the entire first season. A darkest hour that I haven't seen from Disney TV for quite some time. It's a level of seriousness and danger that we all probably knew was coming, but likely weren't ready for when it finally came. Our main villain is revealed, the truth behind Eda's curse comes to light, and by the time it was all over it seemed as though all hope was lost. It was a real punch to the gut, and went to show just how much these characters had come to mean to me, given how distraught I felt at seeing them hurt like this. If I had one complaint, and this is no fault of this episode specifically, it's that the follow-up, the actual finale, never managed to capture the same feeling of intensity. But that's a very small criticism, and as I said, this was one hugely impressive episode that brought the stakes up to eleven and showed that this show had more than earned the right to do so.

1 - Understanding Willow: I'll admit upfront that I have some bias on this one, as Willow has consistently been one of my favourite characters in the show. So an episode devoted to delving into her backstory was pretty much guaranteed to get my interest. But credit where it's due, it actually impressed far more than just that initial hook, as we get our long-awaited explanation as to the reasons why she and Amity stopped being friends way back when, a point that was hinted at quite a few episodes back. It's one of those things I like about shows like this, where small bits of dialogue can come back and take centre stage in big ways like this. And of course, we have Luz coming into her own as the responsible one, taking charge and doing what she can for her friend. And it's great that this isn't a problem that she was directly responsible for, unless you count her flipping a photo over as her being the cause of all this. Amity gets plenty of growth as well as a truly gut-punching reveal as to what motivated her actions, and the remaining cast, like Eda and Gus, all have a pretty entertaining side-story of their own. All-in-all, this might seem like an odd choice, but to me Understanding Willow is just the complete package in terms of what I like about this show.

And that's my list. Hope you all enjoy these episodes as much as I do 🥰

[benisasoftboi]

Unorganised thoughts on Trails of Cold Steel I:

So I did like it overall, but I have a lot more criticisms of it than I did of the previous games 

Which also means I have way more to say!

Tl;dr - Rean Schwarzer, Estelle Bright you are not

Also, spoiler warning for both this game and the previous ones

So... the pacing in this was weird. Like I loved all the field study segments, they were SO fun, but there’s also the Trista segments between which very boring and felt like filler

I think it’s meant to make the ending feel more important, since you’re defending the school, but it kind of backfired because being forced to run around Thors (which is not a very interestingly designed location, by the way) over and over and over again actually made me kind of resent it. To a point where I low key wanted the ILF to destroy the school. Oops

Like I cared about Liberl and Crossbell because they were interesting, and big, so I never really got tired of them. I got tired of Trista very quickly

Also having everyone in school uniform made their designs less interesting :/

The other places were all super interesting, though! I think if I had to pick a favourite I’d say Bareahard, but they’re all contenders really 

Oh also the other issue with the structure was that everyone had to be mad at someone at all times, and it was almost comical how systematic it was - Rean and Alisa don’t get on, that’s resolved, now let’s focus on how Machias and Jusis don’t get on, that’s resolved, IMMEDIATELY we’ll replace that with Fie and Laura, then the moment that’s resolved it’s Jusis and Milliam...

Like, be a little less formulaic in your character conflict

Anyway, characters!

I do not like the thing where the character’s name appears in front of them before they say it. It was irritating

Elliot: The one I would have been in love with when I was eleven. Elliot is good and sweet and did nothing wrong ever. Holy Song is the most useful craft in the whole goddamn game. He also has easily the best S-Craft in a game where most of the S-Crafts are *decidedly* lackluster, aesthetically speaking. I like Elliot. His friendship with Gaius is also very nice

Jusis: The one I would have been in love with when I was fourteen. So, the moment I saw Jusis, my immediate first thought was ‘oh, this guy is one half of a gay ship’. I had no clue who the other guy was going to be, but I knew there was absolutely no way that Anime Draco Malfoy wasn’t getting shipped with a man. 

And then Machias opened his mouth, and... every franchise, no matter what, has its gay OTP (its homoTP, if you will) - that one, usually M/M, but sometimes F/F, ship that’s practically got a whole side-fandom just for itself. Up until now, I assumed Trails’ was going to be Olivier/Mueller - but while I haven’t checked, because I don’t want spoilers, I will be shocked if these guys aren’t actually it. They have every making - opposites attract, enemies to lovers, they sing together, other characters make jokes about it...

Like, this was deliberate, surely? Surely?

yes i ship it but like, against my will and resentfully and semi-ironically, because I hate myself for instinctively taking the bait >:(

Something something ‘Turbo-Gehenna’ joke

Anyway, I like Jusis. I think he’s a fun character, easily the most interesting of the boys, and I really enjoyed his development. He has a cute smile

I also thought he had the best voice acting in Class VII, so I looked it up and Ben Diskin! I love Ben Diskin! I couldn’t even tell, I had no idea his range was that great, wow!

I did think it was extremely weird that if you invite him to the Stella Garten, he says he wants to date a woman who is ‘like his mother’. Okay, Jusis.

Machias: The one I would have been in love with when I was seventeen. You ever meet someone who’s like... always right, really, but in such an obnoxious way that you wish they weren’t. Machias. He would have been way more interesting if he was just a really politically minded teen who needed to learn tact, rather than yet another member of the Trails Dead Family Member Club (the fact that it was revealed right after Elliot’s Dead Family Member Club story did not help). Still, he really did grow on me in the end. He’s a little dork

Gaius: The one I would be in love with now, if not for the fact that he’s only seventeen and thus a little baby in my eyes. I do love his design the most. Can he say even one line that’s not about the wind, though? I also like that he’s one of very few characters in this franchise to not have a tragic backstory, was very refreshing. 

I can only assume, therefore, that Nord will undergo ethnic cleansing in Cold Steel II

Crow: oh boy Crow hahahahahaha. I don’t know how I feel now. Uhhhh... what did ‘the things I do for love mean’? I am curious

Alisa: I don’t like tsunderes much, and I found her ‘being mad at Rean for something that was absolutely not his fault’ thing very, very stupid and it did not endear me to her at all (also, like, if you had to have that - a better way would have been for him to accidentally injure her, rather than... ugh, look, I am a woman with large breasts - accidents really do happen irl. There’s no point in getting that mad about it. There just isn’t. I have no patience for this kind of plot). It also bothered me how possessive of Rean she got, I swear I picked Towa over her half out of spite. I don’t hate her, though, to be clear - I loved her plot with her mother and that scene in Nord. And her relationship with Ferris! She’s great when she’s not talking about Rean, basically

I don’t buy her as Rean’s love interest, honestly. Rean consistently shows more attraction to Emma, and has more (mandatory/canon) moments with Towa. It only felt one-sided to me 

Laura: I like Laura a lot. I don’t really have anything to say about her, just that she was consistently good, and I appreciated her maturity and self awareness, I love her and Rean being sword bros, she’s just great

Fie: I think Fie was designed to appeal to exactly me personally. Tiny snarky badass girl with a great design? That’s everything I love and aspire to be! Best girl in the game (didn’t date her though because she’s fifteen and I refuse to date anyone who is younger than the protagonist when I play games set in high schools. Feels weird enough dating teens the same age as my character. Also she had 0 romantic chemistry with Rean)

Millium: She’s fine, good voice acting, want to know more about Lammy, no strong feelings

Towa: I wasn’t going to date anyone, but changed my mind because I really liked Towa... and then I looked at her, and saw a tiny girl with long, light brown hair and soft voice, and realised I just want to date myself

I checked, and according to Playstation Trophies, at least, she’s the least picked girl? The only characters picked less than her are the non-Crow boys (Machias is the least popular, which... I feel a little mean for finding hilarious lol)

Emma: I like Emma herself just fine. Don’t get me wrong. But she’s infuriating as a mystery character, because she’s the worst kind of mystery - the kind that relies on the other characters to NEVER AT ANY POINT ASK THE QUESTIONS THAT A NORMAL HUMAN WOULD ASK

Estelle would have asked

Rean has multiple opportunities to ask her to explain herself, and he doesn’t! One time, she straight up ASKS HIM TO ASK, and he doesn’t! That’s not mysterious anymore! That’s just incredibly annoying!

Lloyd would have asked

And no one else asks either! Some of them, fine - I can understand say, Elliot or Gaius or Millium - but Jusis!? Jusis, who has been there for pretty much all of her mysterious vague magic, and has repeatedly shown himself to be willing to be kind of rude, and may not be that interested in other people but certainly isn’t stupid - while they’re in the Schoolhouse Depths, Jusis isn’t going to grab Emma by the shoulders and demand she explain what she knows? He’s just going to go with it as she refuses to elaborate on things? 

Really?

Kevin would have - actually, no, Kevin would have already known because Kevin Knows All, but he would have told everyone else, so same outcome 

Rean: And that brings me to Rean. Rean... is a JRPG Protagonist. He is good, and noble, and he gives Inspiring Speeches, and he can date all the girls (which means we don’t really get any interesting opposite-gender friendships, because oh no, a threat to the harem!), and he is so, so boring. My god

Hey remember how I praised Sky for how great it was to have Estelle be an actual person with flaws and personality? No you don’t, no one’s reading all of these, but yeah - Estelle is just as colourful and full of life as the rest of Sky, while Rean is the least interesting character in Cold Steel no contest

Oh he has a super powered dark side, oh, well, that’s a game changer, never seen that before except in every 2000s shounen anime. Also we never actually learn the Super Rean rules, so that dramatic moment where he’s thinking about transforming to fight Scarlet isn’t actually that dramatic because I had never realised it could kill him until he said so in that moment

Oh except he’s also an awakener and can summon a Persona giant mecha suit! Because he’s the most special boy to be very special? I have never seen that in a JRPG before except in all of them

In Sky, Estelle wasn’t special. Except she was, but it wasn’t because she had super awesome secret awesome powers and all the boys liked her best. It was because she was flawed, but always trying, and because she was incredibly brave and optimistic no matter what, and because she was the kind of person who told a god summoning evil mastermind ‘lol no’ and then beat him with a stick, and because she really, believably loved her friends. She loved them. And they loved her. Not the player she was the avatar of. Estelle herself

Estelle Bright has ruined me for all other JRPG protagonists, is what I’m saying

Oh also Rean has that whole speech about how they can’t cancel the festival to protect people from an unknown threat, that’s not fair to meeeeee, and as someone who has lived through the year 2020 -  go to Gehenna, Rean 

Olivier is back!!! And yeah I’m going to keep calling him that, that’s who I know him as, and also Olivert is a silly name

Even more importantly, Mueller is back!!! And he and Olivier still have the best comedy dynamic in the series, joyous day! THAT is love and peace, baby!

Sara really, really grew on me :) I want to see her interact with Schera so bad

I didn’t really like Sharon up until I worked out OH SHE’S OUROBOROS, because yessssss more of them! Also, yessss, guessed it!

Angie... predatory lesbian stereotype aside, Angie’s super interesting and I want to see more of her yes please

George is like, the most inoffensive character I’ve ever seen, but apparently he has haters? What!?

What is with these games and naming characters/things French words, and then PRONOUNCING THEM WRONG

I do not care that the official pronunciation is ‘Blue Blanc’. I will continue to pronounce it ‘Bleu Blanc’. Because that’s what you guys actually wrote, Christ alive

I have a French GCSE and I will use it for something, goddamnit

I took Jusis on the bike trip and he looked so adorably goofy in the little sidecar. Best moment of the whole damn game for me

I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to have played this game first, as I know a lot of people did. Specifically in regards to Olivier (or Olivert, I guess)

Like... imagine meeting this guy for the first time as a fairly serious leader of an important faction, participating in vital political machinations. Imagine meeting him here and not knowing about the Grand Chardonnay incident. Imagine not knowing about that time he stopped a riot by riding up in a boat and singing. Imagine not knowing he has a rivalry of aesthetics with a terrorist. Imagine not knowing what I was referring to when I said ‘that’s love and peace, baby’ just now

Incomprehensible

Side note, if you had told me, on one of those warm August days when I was first playing Sky FC, that the silly man in the white coat was actually one of the most important characters in the franchise, I would not have believed you for a second 

But on that subject, I was also trying to work out who a first time player would be siding with... like, I’ve played Sky and experienced Zero (currently working way through Azure as well), which means that my immediate reaction to all of Erebonia’s politics was ‘trust whatever Olivier and the bracers say, don’t trust anyone else’. But someone starting with Cold Steel has no reason to have loyalties to those factions, so I’m curious 

Side note, having played the previous games also massively impacted how I viewed the ILF - I’m very confident that I would have just taken them being evil for granted if I’d played this first, but considering they hate Osbourne... and Olivier does not like Osbourne... that kind of made me a lot more suspicious of who I was really meant to side with

I really liked most of the NPCs in this. I especially became weirdly fond of Beryl

However, I do now also have characters I actively dislike, a series first! Gwyn (creepy old man), Neithardt (sexist jerk, kick his arse Beatrix), and Dorothee (...could write a whole essay on the myriad reasons I do not like that particular archetype) get in the bin

Good god, every interaction between Rean, Emma and Dorothee made me want to smack the lot of them with my controller, Dorothee for being an absolute creep, and Rean and Emma for overcorrecting into low key homophobia (seriously Rean, you’re friends with a lesbian, the idea of the existence of gay men should not shock you this much)

Re: Elise... I heard the words ‘non-blood related younger sister’ and my eyes rolled so far back in my head I was afraid they wouldn’t come back down

Took me a while to figure out, but ideal team is Elliot, Jusis, Machias, with Laura and Fie as back-up

I would like to find whoever’s idea it was to make the S-Crafts unlock as the game progresses rather than just be there when you get the character, and shake them until they apologise. Have them evolve with the story, sure, but not having them at all wrecks the battle flow so much. Emma was unusable to me until chapter-goddamn-FIVE

I loved the Annabelle subplot, and the punchline that the person her family wanted to marry her off to was a Lakelord... I actually yelled

The concert was so hyped, and then there weren’t even any real songs (aside from the re-use of the end credit song from Sky, which made me very happy. And Olivier singing along made me laugh out loud)

TOVAL IS TOBY!?!?! 

Man I’m so mad at myself for not reading Carnelia in/after FC (read it in 3rd), but still - what a reveal!

AND WHAT AN ENDING

I mean. At first

They did such a good job building the tension, and then-

The Crow twist, my GOD, when I tell you I freaked the fuck out... I was totally convinced that it was Claire. Or possibly Campanella on stilts. I completely overlooked that there was another major character with a C name, and honestly I’m glad I did because I have not been this shocked by a reveal in a while

And then I stopped taking it seriously when I saw the robots with heelys 

It was all.. we had a very final boss-y final boss, right? Excellent final boss fight, very fun, very satisfying. And then the game just... kept going. I accidentally stayed up until 4 AM because I thought I was at the end and it just didn’t stop

And then it did. Very, very abruptly 

(no seriously I was making some snarky comment about how goofy the flying robot suits look and then the game just ENDED, what)

(also worst *actual* final boss I’ve ever seen. the fact that they managed to make a battle between two giant robots, one of which was controlled by a traitorous former friend, feel like an anticlimax... that was impressive, honestly)

So Cold Steel I is... easily my least favourite Trails game so far. Again, I did like it, but like I say... Rean isn’t Estelle Bright. And that’s pretty much my main problem, in the end

Sorry, Class VII

OH MY GOD they never explained why it’s Class VII and not Class VI! My theory is that it’s either something about the Sept-Terrions, or the Seventh Division, since Olivier’s specifically connected to them. Or maybe both

Well - I’m excited to find out!

[yelena-bellova]

We’re Not Afraid of You - Avengers/Reader Imagine

Summary: You’re a new member of the Avengers, but they can’t figure out why you seem to be keeping everyone at arm’s length. All is revealed when you accompany them on your first mission…

Requested by anon: Can I request platonic AvengersxReader f imagine where the reader is new to the avengers but is super closed off around them in the compound but when they go on a mission for the first time she is a super badass hero & shocks everyone with her powers.once they go back to the compound she goes back to closed off which has the avengers trying to see why she’s like that & turns out that she’s scared of herself & bc she doesn’t want to hurt anyone .

Warnings: One curse word, a little violence…

Word Count: 2,584

Note: The reader’s powers are kind of a combination between Wanda’s and Jean Grey’s. I tried to give every Avenger some dialogue but clearly failed with Vision because he has zero lines haha Hope you enjoy! :)

The Avengers were gathered in the main living room of the compound for their monthly team bonding night. This month Tony had decided was a movie night and there was currently a heated debate happening over which one they’d watch. “Cap, you are not making us sit through another black and white 1940’s snooze-fest.” Tony argued, holding up Steve’s suggested title. “Well, we’re definitely not watching whatever it was you suggested.” Natasha chimed in, she and Clint were sitting on the floor, her legs draped over his lap. “What’s wrong with the one I picked?” Sam called out from the kitchen, helping Wanda and Vision carry the massive amount of food to the coffee table. They laid out brownies, bowls of popcorn, bags of candy and a box of pop-tarts reserved especially for Thor. “Because the last time we watched the one you suggest, Sam, everyone was passed out cold within the first hour.” Tony retorted. “Well excuse me for enjoying the occasional rom-com.” Sam quipped, grabbing a handful of popcorn and flopping on the couch next to Steve.

“Alright, alright…Bruce and Tony had the best suggestions, let’s just take a vote.” Steve spoke up. “All in favor of Tony’s, raise your hand.” Thor, Rhodey, Sam, and Vision raised their hands. “All in favor of Bruce’s, raise your hand.” Steve called. Him, Natasha, Clint, and Wanda raised their hands. “Fat load that did…” Tony chuckled.

Throughout all this, you had been hiding in your room, as usual. You were their newest recruit, only having been on the team for a month, and you hadn’t adjusted yet to your new life. You had been on the run almost your entire life until S.H.I.E.L.D. picked you up after having seen your powers and recruited you to be an Avenger. You had hesitated greatly, you had always operated on your own so becoming part of a team gave you major anxiety. Because of how much paperwork and training it took to be cleared to work with the Avengers, you hadn’t even been on a mission with them yet. You got along with your new teammates, but you didn’t want to get too close to them. The spacious bedroom that you got to call yours was where you spent most of your time. Unfortunately, the mini fridge you had bought had run dry of food, so you were forced to venture out into the kitchen to restock it. You tried to tiptoe in unnoticed, but that was impossible to do around a group of superheroes. They all immediately turned when they heard you come in, directing all the attention you didn’t want onto you. “y/n! You get to be the deciding vote…” Tony exclaimed.

You froze, not wanting to get drawn into whatever was going on but knowing Tony wasn’t going to let you go. “My Oscar winner or Bruce’s coming of age indie nonsense? And don’t allow yourself to be swayed, but you’re looking particularly beautiful today.”

Groans erupted from the team at Tony’s shameless attempt at trying to get you to side with him, but their eyes still rested on you. You stuttered a little, anxiety starting to run through your head, this is exactly what you didn’t want… “I-I don’t really have an opinion either way. I’m not feeling too good so I’m just gonna stay in tonight.” you lied through your teeth. You turned quietly and walked towards the fridge, grabbing some food you had stashed in the back. You could feel the team still staring at you, knowing they could feel your hostility towards them, you knew you had to throw them a bone... “But I hear the one Bruce suggested is really good.” you mumbled towards them.

Cheers and groans mingled in the air as Tony reluctantly slid the DVD into the player, by the time they turned around to thank you for your help, you had already made a run back to your room. “Is it just me or does she not like us all that much?” Bruce asked the room.

“I thought it was just me, I didn’t realize we were so objectionable.” Rhodey said. “Give her a break, guys. This is the first time she’s ever been a part of the team. She needs time to adjust.” Steve explained, he understood the feeling of being out of place better than anyone. “And we shouldn’t push her. She’ll come around in her own time…” Natasha added, knowing exactly what it felt like to be on your own and then thrust into a team environment. Her heart went out for you and she wished she could help you in some way.

The team collectively shrugged their shoulders and continued on with their night, but leaving an empty seat on the couch just in case you decided to join them. You had chosen instead to spend your night on the rooftop, your favorite spot in the compound second to your room. You gazed out at the dark landscaping, looking off into the distance to the see the lights of the New York City skyline. You sat back in your chair, doing your best to try and relax. You prayed that the team had moved on with their night and weren’t still thinking about you…

ONE WEEK LATER

“Romanoff, y/l/n, where are you?” Steve whispered into his communicator. “3rd level, looks empty but we’re gonna check it out just in case.” Natasha replied, you walked alongside her carefully down the abandoned hall. This was your first mission with the team and saying you were nervous was an understatement. It was simple enough; checking out an abandoned Hydra base to make sure that all the rats had gone down with the ship and see if there were any files left over to retrieve. The whole team had come just in case the report you’d gotten had been terribly wrong. So far there had been nothing, but you got a sinking feeling in your stomach that you and Natasha weren’t alone.

“Sure you don’t want a gun?” she asked as she continued walking down the hall, her weapon drawn. You forgot that no one on the team had seen you use your powers, so when you declined to take any weapons with you, their confusion was justified. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Trust me.” you whispered. “Wait, I’ve got something. Heat signature headed towards the building!” Tony called over the comms.

“GET OUT OF THERE!”

Natasha and you started running towards a nearby window and leaped out of it just in time sending shards of glass everywhere. Something had hit the building and caused a huge explosion right where you had been standing. You both fell through the air, expecting to hit the ground harshly, but Sam sprang into action and caught you both. He set you both on the ground quickly and you turned to see a swarm of unexpected Hydra agents charging towards you. Hulk roared and began taking them out one by one, Steve’s shield and Clint’s arrows started to fly, and Tony, Rhodey and Vision started firing at their enemies from the air. You began throwing punches, hoping that you weren’t going to have to use your powers on anybody. But unfortunately, these thugs played dirty and they weren’t going to go easy on any of you. You heard Natasha let out a loud grunt from nearby, she was pinned underneath a burley Hydra agent with no possible escape. He drew his knife, ready to strike her, there was no time to deliberate on the decision…

You threw your hands out towards the man, letting the blue energy waves flow from your fingers as you threw him into a tree, knocking him unconscious. You began doing the same as more agents charged towards you, your eyes began to glow as your power was now fully unleashed. You had been holding back for so long, you forgot what it felt like to let yourself go and let your powers flow freely…You levitated off the ground and flew through the air towards Steve, who had been knocked down by another agent and began sending blasts of your energy towards him. He was now laying on the ground but was now aiming his fun towards you. He took his shot you deflected the bullet away from you, you then sent him the man flying into the flames of the explosion. You quickly helped Steve to his feet, he looked at you with shock and wonder on his face. “Yeah, yeah, thank me later.” you joked.

“y/n, look out!” Thor yelled, you whipped around to see every agent charging towards you and Steve. He was ready to throw his shield at them, but before he could, you had already launched yourself into the air. Moving your hands together, you built up an orb of your blue energy and sent it forward towards the ground. It looked like an aggressive ocean wave as it knocked down every Hydra agent to the ground in your path, a loud collective groan coming from all of them. You quickly surveyed the area from above, not a single one of Hydras agents had survived the attack. You let out a sigh of relief and lowered yourself to the ground, only to be met by the shocked faces of your teammates.

Shit.

You had forgotten for a moment that they’d never seen you use your powers. You quickly walked away from them, heading towards the Quinjet. Scurrying inside, you headed towards a dark corner and fell to the ground, trying not to cry. Slowly, one by one, the rest of the team joined you on the jet but gave you the space you clearly desired. You stayed silent during the ride back the compound and once you landed, you were the first one off of the jet. You made a beeline to your room, locking the door and sliding against it to the ground. You let your tears fall freely now that you were alone...The reason why you had kept your distance from the team was because of your powers. You knew you were a mutant, you knew you were dangerous and you didn’t want the team to be on the receiving end of your abilities. You were absolutely terrified of what you were and what you could do. You didn’t even have full control over your powers yet, so you weren’t going to take any chances on endangering them. Deep in your thoughts, you were jolted out of them by the knock at your door. “y/n?” a female voice called. It was Wanda. You didn’t want to see anybody at the moment, but out of everybody on the team, you felt the least afraid to be around Wanda. You wiped your eyes and stood up, unlocking the door for her to walk through. She gave you a sympathetic smile and walked towards your bed to sit down, you followed and sat down next to her. She placed her hand on yours carefully as not to frighten you. “I get it, I really do.” she whispered. You began to quietly weep, you knew that she understood exactly what you were feeling. You two seemed to share the same abilities and you had wished so many times you could push past your fear so you could talk to her about it. “I’m so scared.” you cried, turning to look at Wanda. Her expression was nothing but sympathetic as she tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “What if I hurt somebody? I-I don’t know that I can control it fully and if one of you got hurt because of me, I’d never forgive myself.” you continued.

She twisted herself to face you and placed your hand against her forehead. “I want you to look into my mind and tell me the amount of fear you see.” she said. You began to stammer, she gave you a knowing look, “I didn’t have to look in yours to know you can look into ours…”

You bit your lip, closed your eyes and began to let the blue energy fall from your fingers. You scanned Wanda’s brain and found no trace of fear, only sympathy, and admiration. You opened your eyes and pulled your hand back, letting out a single breathless laugh. She smiled at you, placing a hand on your shoulder, “We’re not afraid of you.” she stated. “I mean, I’m definitely gonna make sure I never piss you off…” Tony quipped.

You whipped your head around, seeing the whole team had gathered outside your door while you were in Wanda’s mind. You wiped your tears and stood up quickly, not knowing how to start explaining yourself. Bruce was the first one to take a step towards you, “Look in mine.” he invited. You gave a hesitating glance to Wanda, but she nodded encouragingly. You turned back to Bruce and looked for any ounce of animosity he may have towards you, but there was nothing. One by one, the team stepped forward and you read each of their minds.

Not a single one of them feared you or your powers.

“We wouldn’t have asked you to be a part of the team if we didn’t want you here, y/n. You don’t need to be afraid of hurting us if we’re not afraid of you.” Steve stated, putting a hand on your shoulder. “I can help you learn to control your powers fully, you already seem to be pretty good at it.” Wanda said, stepping towards you. You gave them your first genuine smile in a long time. Words couldn’t describe how relieved you were in the moment that for once, you weren’t viewed as the threat you thought you were. “Thank you…” you managed to get out through your tears. Natasha came forward and hugged you, the next words she said would stay with you forever… “You’re a part of this family, y/n.” Within the next few weeks, you became fully immersed in the team. Wanda and you had regular sessions together where she taught you how to fully master your powers. On missions, you two became a dynamic duo, combining your energy to create catastrophic results for your enemies. She also quickly become your best friend. Steve and you had bonded over your shared love for old jazz music, spending lots of afternoons with him listening to his record collection from the ’40s. Tony and you spent time designing a new suit for you after he deemed your current one “not badass enough” and you two quickly developed a father-daughter bond. You developed a unique connection with every member of the team and you cherished each one. By the next team bonding night, you were no longer hiding in your room, you were instead sandwiched between Wanda and Clint on the couch. Steve stood in front of the tv holding up two discs, “Alright let’s take a vote. All in favor of Clint’s suggestion, raise your hand.” Steve directed, throwing his own hand up and half the room followed. “All in favor of Thor’s suggestion, raise your hand.” The other half of the room raised theirs. You would be the deciding vote once again. “Alright, looks like we need a tiebreaker…” Steve said, looking towards you with a small smile on his lips.

You debated between the choices, neither one of them were particularly exciting to you, but the decision still rested on you. You smirked, flicked your fingers forward and levitated Thor’s disc out of Steve’s hand and into the DVD player. Laughter rang out in the room, Clint gave you a playful shove against Wanda, “The was simultaneously hurtful and super cool.” he quipped.

You laughed and stole the bowl of popcorn in his lap for yourself. Never once had you imagined you’d actually get to a place where you could use your powers freely and the reaction would be joy, not fear. As you scanned the room looking at each one of your teammates, you couldn’t help but let a joyful tear trail down your face. There would never be enough words to describe how thankful you were to be a part of the Avengers.

They were your family, forever and always.

[urirealvibekiller]

.ೃ࿐ this is a college life ship for my sweetest angel bean @thechoppersan​ !! hehe ilyy <33 hope you like the ship bb !! 

______________

.ೃ࿐ your university 

you go to seoul national university college of fine arts (SNU ART) 

.ೃ࿐ your major and clubs

you major in painting <33 

you’re also a part of this student-organized club called tails which is a volunteer club at snu that carries out various projects to help abandoned animals. as a member, you help raise funds for and volunteer at animal shelters, and do many activities (seminars and exhibitions etc) that increase awareness of animal abuse and promote animal rights. with your love for animals, this club is perfect for you and you’re a very active and significant member of the club. 

.ೃ࿐ your roommate/housemate 

you live in a dorm room offered by the university for international students. 

you love living on campus because you do spend majority of your time at the college and you think it’s convenient because you live close to where you study - it’s just a practical option for you. 

your roommate is mina sharon myoi, another international student at snu from japan !! she majors in photography <33 

not just your roommate, she’s also one of your best friends !!

at first, she was very reserved, shy, and quiet and so are you at first so um yeah imagine how those first few days were ahaha - so much silence in your dorm lmao. but don’t worry that didn’t last long because with intervention of another friend (will get to it later) you two gradually became more and more comfortable and now you basically consider each other sisters. 

she’s pretty much a quiet and a very good roommate - like a dream roommate ahaha. kind of a light sleeper though - if you’re a snorer or if you have a habit of sleep-talking/walking, that will definitely wake her up and count on her to let you AND the whole world know about it :) 

she’s also a gamer so expect to find her gaming so intently late at night while you’re reading or sleeping. 

she’s a pretty good cook too so i see you guys cooking together or taking turns cooking. but some nights when you’re both tired and stressed, you’re like fuck it and you just order some delivery. 

overall, your dorm is pretty quiet but unlike the first few weeks, it’s a comfortable kind of quiet - very chill and peaceful. 

.ೃ࿐ your best friend(s) 

minatozaki sana. another japanese friend. you guys met at the tails club which you’re both members of. she’s also best friends with your roommate mina and sana’s the one who helped you guys become closer by inviting both of you to hangouts and such. now, you three are basically a trio now, always seen hanging out with each other. sana lives off-campus with some seniors but she often come and sleep over with you and mina at the dorm. definitely the optimistic sunshine of you three. she’s pretty much always the one who drags you two out of your dorm. very affectionate, often clinging onto either you or mina or both. 

.jeon jungkook. he also majors in painting. is in the same year as you but younger in age - the dude graduated high-school early. he’s also the star player of the university’s soccer team. talk about being an ace. you’re lowkey like an older sister to him at time - always telling to take a break and reminding him to take care of himself because he tends to overwork a lot. a lot of teasing between you guys though but it’s all cute and endearing kind of teases. he likes to come to you with girl problems because girls understand girls according to him and you try your best to help him. kind of a little shit sometimes but you tolerate ahahaha. he’s actually a very good comforter and he’s always there for you when you need him like he would legit fight someone for you. just a very sweet and cute friendship overall. 

.ೃ࿐ who has a crush on you

jeong yunho. that popular outgoing jokestar that is kind of flirty and kind of lowkey has a crush on you but you keep in the friendzone because 1) you’re clueless about his feelings for you and 2) you just genuinely enjoy his company as a friend. he never crosses the line though and is actually a very good friend to you.  

.ೃ࿐ your boyfriend

i mean i couldn’t just not include taeil 

he actually doesn’t go to your university. he studies applied music at hanyang university. 

you guys met when your college department held an art exhibition where one of your paintings was featured and he was a guest there, attending with some of his friends that study at snu too (probably other nct members mehehe)

he especially loved your painting and he stood a long time just admiring it and of course you noticed that so in spite of your normally shy nature, you actually approached first and guys talked about the painting in general. and it was possibly one of the best conversation you’ve had with a stranger - the conversation flowed so smoothly with ease. then you guys realized that you don’t even know each other’s name yet so he introduced himself and when you told him your name, he’s like oh my god you painted this? the look on his face was pretty comical. 

of course you exchanged numbers and talked regularly. like i said before, taeil probably doesn’t like to rush to a relationship and he probably likes to take things slow - like a slow-burn kind of romance. so more than anything, he tries to be your friend first and he’s a damn good one at that. extremely supportive, caring, and just very comforting. but he can also be so hilarious without trying and goofy that you guys always have a good laugh with each other. 

once you’re in a relationship though, you would just be a very chill couple honestly - not much different from when you were friends, just a lot more skinship now lmao. 

he’s a music major so i think he would like to play instruments or sing for you. probably would always jokingly ask you to draw/paint him but when you actually agree and do it he gets lowkey flustered and shy but tries not to show it. 

he lives alone in a studio apartment so once you start dating, you’re going to spend a whole lot of time at his place, probably sleeping over a few times a week. you even have a spare key to his place and you have some of your clothes and stuffs there. your roomie mina might pout that you’re not around much at the dorm anymore but honestly she would be happy for you and kinda lowkey enjoys she has the whole place to herself ahahah

i think he would also want you to move in at one point in the relationship. 

this is such a beautiful relationship honestly. so much trust and stability yet you also have so much fun with each other. <33 

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thank you for requesting !! <33 

i had so much fun writing this omg