#i think they have vegetables and things. just not very many. and not for too long

[r0b0t1me]

mikeys on casey watch duty today

[joelslastofus]

[SUMMARY: After roughly taking your virginity unknowingly, Joel does his best to make the second time around more comfortable for you.]

“I’ll make you feel it again and I promise it ain’t gonna hurt this time”

Part one

Smut

(There is a 50 limit on people who I can tag, I didn’t know so many would want to be tagged sorry I didn’t get everyone!)

It was early in the morning when you woke up to Ellie still asleep and Joel nowhere to be found. You figured he was out keeping himself busy close by, and so you decided to make something for everyone to eat using what you had. Your mind never stopped thinking about what you had just done the day before, you wondered how he was going to act with you in front of Ellie.

Cutting up some vegetables that you grew you heard the door open and knew it was him. Joel walked inside to find you by the kitchen area before looking up to his left and seeing Ellie was still asleep.

“Hi” you spoke softly as his eyes found you again. He gave you a nod as he walked towards you while you struggled to think of something else to say.

“So um, I’m making-“

“You still in pain?” He suddenly asked in a rough low voice. Of course you were, not even twenty four hours earlier Joel had just rammed himself in you not knowing you had never been touched. You shook your head before you could think of a word to say to his unexpected question.

“N-not really, maybe a little but I’m fine” you assured him as once again you began to think of how good it ended. It was worth it to be a little sore. Now if it was ever going to happen again, you weren’t sure, but you couldn’t help but ask how else you could make yourself feel that wonderful high he made you feel.

“Joel um…can I ask you something?”

“Mhm” he stood across from you.

“Well…um, you know that feeling I told you I felt when you made me-“

“Mhm” he cut you off being careful Ellie wasn’t eavesdropping yet eager to hear your question.

“How can I feel that same feeling again…I mean…I know we probably won’t um do that again but I want to feel it…how can I in another way?” You question was hesitant, you almost felt stupid.

He took a deep breath trying to find a way to not react in that moment, an image of you laying in bed with your hand between your legs making yourself cum now in his head and you didn’t even do it purposely.

“Joel?” Your voice snapping him out of it making him look back at you.

“You’ve never-“

“No. I mean we had health class and people spoke but I never…” you tried to explain when Ellie’s voice caught you both off guard.

“Hey are you making those vegetable fritters again?” Ellie asked with excitement running up beside you as Joel silently walked out the back door.

“Uh, yes. Hey why don’t you finish cutting these for me so I can go collect the rest of the vegetables.” Ellie nodded and took over with the knife in her hand as you walked out.

Joel stood in the back staring off into the woods trying to control himself with the thoughts you just put into his head. He knew last night shouldn’t have happened, especially not the way it did but how the hell was he suppose to ignore this urge for you. His thoughts being interrupted by the sound of the door slamming shut as you walked out.

“Sorry, I just needed to get a few things” you uttered low as he looked over his shoulder at you.

“What the hell are you trynna to do to me?”

“What?” You asked confused as he turned looking behind you making sure Ellie wasn’t following you out. Quickly he stepped closer to you, with a very similar look he had the night before.

“I’m trying my best here to not-“ he cut himself off, his eyes drifting down to your lips.

“To not what?” You asked confused making him look back up, but he didn’t speak.

“Look Joel, if you don’t wanna tell me what I asked-“ he suddenly grabbed your face and kissed you making you stumble back against the wall. Still holding your face in his hands he pulled his lips away, his eyes darkened.

“No I don’t wanna tell you,”

“I wanna show you” his words sending a tingle to the pit of your stomach.

“You wanna feel what you felt last night, darlin’?” His eyebrows furrowed as his hands dropped to your waist holding you close.

“Y-yes”

“I’ll make you feel it again and I promise it ain’t gonna hurt this time”

“Joel…I…I don’t care if it hurts...I just want-“

“Hey, I’m done cutting the vegetables!” Ellie called out from inside making Joel quickly turn away from you thinking she came out. You took a deep breath grabbing the vegetables and walked back inside not saying another word.

That evening the three of you sat at the table together having dinner as you usually did. Ellie raised her brows looking back and fourth between you and Joel as you both didn’t lift your heads up from your plates.

“So uh, I was gonna ask if I can try fishing later?”

“By yourself?” Joel quickly looked up directly at her.

“Uh yeah, I mean its right there. We have most of the area closed off. Why not?”

“I don’t know, Ellie. I doubt you’d be able to catch more than I can anyway” he teased her making you look up.

“Nuh uh, wanna bet?”

Joel knew exactly what he was doing, Ellie out of the cabin leaving the place to just you and him…exactly what he had in mind.

“It’s on” Joel chuckled making you smile, it was rare to see Joel in a light hearted mood.

After dinner you watched as Ellie excitedly packed her stuff to fish with Joel making sure she had all she needed.

“You sure she’s gonna be safe there?” You asked making him look up at you.

“I wouldn’t let her go if I thought she wasn’t” he responded as you stood by the counter.

“Ok” you whispered as they finished up packing before Joel walked her to the lake leaving you alone in the cabin.

Being alone with Joel in doors bought an excitement to you that you never felt before. You knew what this meant with Ellie not there and had an idea. Looking at a tiny dirty mirror that was hung on the wall you began to undress yourself. It was strange, although this man had already taken your virginity, he still had yet to see your naked body.

With only a sweater on you watched out the window until you saw him finally approaching. Quickly throwing the sweater aside you positioned yourself by the counter that he would see the second he walked in. Your heart racing hearing the door knob turn until it finally opened, your naked body catching Joel completely off guard. Clenching his jaw he shut the door behind him as you stood awkwardly not sure what to do with your hands. Joel could tell you were nervous, your innocence arousing him a bit more. His eyes slowly finding the sight of your breasts, he began to make his way towards you without taking his eyes off them. Neither of you said a word but he could see you began to breathe heavier as your chest rose and fell in a fast pace. He stopped before you, slowly looking back up into your eyes.

“Now I’m trying my very best to not sit you up on that counter and take you just like I did last night but you’re making it too damn hard for me to not-”his eyes wandered to your naked body again.

“To not just do what I wanna do without thinking. But I promised you I wasn't gonna hurt you, and I keep my promises, darlin”. He looked back up at you.

“Joel-“ you whispered.

“Mm mm” he shook his head,

“I don’t wanna hear a word…not unless you’re cumming for me. I just want you to lay yourself on my bed” he proceeded to take off his jacket as you looked at where he slept. He watched as you nervously lay back on his pillow as he slowly lay beside you turned towards you. Silently his eyes drifted down to your body as you nervously took a deep breath. His large rough hand gently brushing over your hard nipples, he wondered if any other man had the pleasure in ever seeing them before let alone touching them. Slowly he moved down to your bare thigh as you looked up at him curiously.

“What are you gonna do?”

His eyes found yours as his fingers creeped to your inner thigh. He didn’t respond, gently pulling your thigh towards him, making your legs spread. He instantly felt you leg jerk back a bit, he knew you were nervous. You didn’t even realize you had done it.

“C’mere” he whispered pulling your leg completely against him before feeling his fingers trace your slit delicately.

“I’m gonna make sure you’re ready for me” his lips brushing against your ear sending goosebumps through your body just as you felt his finger on your very clit. Slowly he began to move his finger in a circular motion building up the pleasure little by little. Moaning softly he watched as your body began to squirm with excitement before sliding his finger down and feeling how wet you already were.

“Oh there it is” he whispered just as he slid his large finger in. You softly gasped as he leaned his lips against your face, you could feel his hard on against your thigh. Your fingers digging into the covers beneath you, just like that he was slowly finger fucking you…

So many thoughts running through your mind had all just melted away with what he was doing to you, you hadn’t even noticed just how focused he was on watching you as he continued until he spoke.

“That feel good,baby?” You looked up barely able to speak. The sound of your wet pussy speaking for itself, arousing him more.

“Joel..” you choked out jerking your hips upward, he knew what was about to happen.

“Joel…I think…I think it’s happening again” you rolled your eyes back as he moved his hand faster pressing his lips together. You grabbed onto his shirt, nails digging in, he watched as your back arched and lips opened but no sound came out before you cried out like I never before.

“Oh my god-“ you whimpered, your body still shaking against his as his hand slowly stopped. Your legs moving uncontrollably…you both locked eyes.

“Joel-“

“Shh, just feel it, baby” you panted looking up at him and pulled him in for a passionate kiss.

Joel kissed you before suddenly whispering something you didn’t expect.

“Get on me, baby” he began to undress himself quickly before you could say a word. For some reason your heart sunk at the thought, you didn’t know how to ride a man much less a man of his size.

“Joel, I can’t-“ you whispered looking down at how hard he was.

“C’mere” he pulled your arms landing your hands on his bare shoulders.

“Joel wait, I don’t know how-“

“Look at me” he pulled your leg over him as you struggled to keep your balance holding onto him, you froze feeling his cock begin to enter you.

“Look at me, baby. You don’t have to do a damn thing” he held onto your hips as he slowly pushed upward while pulling you down on him. This angle only made him feel bigger, still sore from the day before the you winced making Joel instantly stop.

“You alright?”

“Yes” you whispered looking down at him. It seemed no matter how aroused you were, it was still bound to hurt, being sore also didn’t help.

“It’s ok just..just do it” he quickly shook his head at your suggestion.

“Don’t tell me that, I told you I wasn’t gonna hurt you” you felt his hands squeeze your hips, you knew he was doing his best to control his urge to thrust.

“Joel” you insisted with a look while leaning on his chest. Without saying a word, with full force he thrusted upward making you loudly gasp. The fullness you felt you were almost afraid to move, he remained still beneath you allowing you to adjust to his size.

“Dammit” he whispered breathlessly seeing the discomfort on your face. His hand gently brushing up your body, caressing your face. Slowly he pulled your body down completely against his, kissing you he attempted to distract you from the pain. You could feel his heart racing against your chest as you felt him very slowly pull out half way before sliding back in. You whimpered against his lips as he moved as gentle as he could. He continued this way until he felt your body relax, moving at a steady pace until you pushed yourself up and began to move on your own. He watched as you balanced yourself on him and began to ride him with ease.

“That’s it baby” His hands down on your thighs as he looked down and watched himself disappear in you. This position felt different but you liked it, he could feel how much you liked it. Closing your eyes you moaned throwing your head back when you felt his hands cup your breasts. He didn’t say much but he didn’t have to, the sound of his breathing and the way he touched you said enough. Moving in a faster pace he groaned appreciating the view of you on top, watching your hips grind sensually. His hands abruptly moved down your body as he unexpectedly took back control. You felt his legs lift up beneath you while holding you in place. His hands grabbing your ass he thrusted upward as fast as he could, watching your expressions change from the overwhelming pleasure.

“Joel-“

“Go ahead, cum for me” he demanded out of breath. Both of your bodies sweaty, your hands sliding up his chest but he held, the pressure you felt was much bigger than you had felt before.

“Oh my God-“ your nails digging into his chest, this time it felt much more intense, you didn’t think you could handle it.

“Joel, I can’t-“

“Yes you can” he panted. You squeezed your eyes shut, he felt you tighten up when ecstasy erupted throughout your body. Moaning almost in desperation, you held onto him barely able to keep yourself balanced. His mouth open watching your breasts bounce to his quick movements, he felt your cum drip down his balls. He watched you in awe, holding you steady on him as you felt complete loss of control.

“Oh yeah..” he whispered just as he felt himself about to explode. He quickly lifted you up and moaned in a way you had never heard before. Still on top of him, you leaned back, watching his hips jerk upward as his warm load spilled out of him.. Another harsh sound escaping his lips, yet you couldn’t take your eyes off his cock. His hand wrapped around it, finishing himself off, he looked down and noticed how you watched. He could barely speak taking a minute to catch his breath.

“You ok?” He whispered making you look up at him.

“Are you?”

Joel chuckled as sweat dripped down the side of his head and nodded.

The two of you were silent as you got dressed but you could feel Joel’s eyes on you. He knew there must’ve been alot running through your mind but he wasn’t a mind reader.

“You alright darlin’?”

“Can I ask you something?” You looked at him curiously.

“Of course”

“Does….does it feel the same way for you…the way it does for me….when you-“ Joel chuckled making you cross your arms.

“Why are you laughing, it’s an honest question”

Joel pulled your arms wrapping them around him, as he wrapped his around your waist.

“It can feel pretty intense…like just now” he responded calmly with a slight smirk.

“It almost made it hard for me to get you up on time” and you knew exactly what could happen if he didn’t. He pulled you in for a kiss as you were still lost in thought.

“You know-“ you gently pushed him back.

“It felt a lot…stronger today..while I was on top of you.”

“I take it you like riding me then, huh,” he whispered as he kissed the side of your face.

“I wanna try different things, Joel” your eyes rolled back feeling his scruff against your neck, his lips leaving a trail of soft kisses.

“We will” you smiled when the random thought of how much of an ass he used to be with you came to mind.

“Hey….why’d you always give me a hard time at first” your question making him stop as he took a deep breath. He took a step back as he looked down thinking of how to respond.

“I was trying to avoid this”

“Having sex with me?” You almost laughed making him look up, the seriousness in his eyes made you quickly stop.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me and I just didn’t think it was a good thing for you” he rubbed his facial hair as you raised a brow.

“So what’s the difference between then and now?” Joel cleared his throat knowing a moment of weakness from him was what made the difference.

“Seeing you wearing my shirt that night” his words making you blush.

“Do you regret it?” You asked hesitantly.

“Of course not” he responded quicker than you expected.

“I only regret not knowing you were a virgin, for your sake.” You didn’t exactly know how to respond and so you looked down with slight embarrassment.

“Hey” he placed his hand on your waist pulling you in.

“I’m glad it was me” he whispered before kissing you gently and making his way to the door.

“We’ll be back in a few” he left you standing there silently, you couldn’t help but wonder what this meant although you promised yourself you wouldn’t think too much into it…

Tags

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[ashasdiary]

Layers

Pairing: Nanami Kento x fem!Reader Synopsis: Nanami shows you one of his very many talents: carpentry. You liken him to a certain vegetable. CW: fluff, Nanami being husband material, sexual themes WC: 879 A/N: I miss my big buff man 🥺

Nanami Kento is quite the multifaceted man, you’ve come to find. 

In the few short months of being together, he has pleasantly surprised you now and then as you have gotten to uncover more of him. 

“You’re like an onion,” you tell him one day, leaning back against the wall in your living room, watching while he puts together a custom nightstand that he had made and measured himself. 

He turns and looks at you, brows furrowed slightly but an amused smile on his lips, “Why, ‘cause I stink?”

He was sweating — it was a hot day, too, but you admittedly loved the smell of him. He didn’t smell bad at all; you read somewhere that people enjoy the smell of people they’re in love with. So it checked out. 

“You don’t stink. No, because you have layers, like an onion,” you explain. 

“Are you really quoting Shrek right now?” he snorts and laughs, shaking his head as he looks back to the wood pieces and hammers the next piece. 

“No!” You begin, but then trail off, “Well…maybe. Listen, I’m just saying…you have a lot of talents and I didn’t expect you to be able to do so many things.”

“Doubting my capabilities, sweetheart?” He throws you a smirk and hammers another piece before he sits back and assesses it with the ruler. 

Straight, sharp, angled perfectly. He’s quite pleased. 

“Not at all. I know you’re capable of a lot but you still somehow manage to surprise me quite often,” you say and watch as he smooths his hand over the wood that he’d gotten specifically for this — it was finally finished. 

It was a beautiful piece of walnut wood that he’d sourced. It filled your heart with so much joy that he’d done this; it was truly the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for you. You’re overcome with emotion, getting a little teary eyed, as he stands up and looks at his work. 

“It’s beautiful, Ken,” you come up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist, both of you admiring the piece of furniture that was now going to be a permanent part of your home — and life, probably. “I don’t know how to thank you,” you hug him tightly and he smiles. 

“You don’t have to, sweetheart. I enjoyed making it and the challenge. I was debating on doing a finish but I think its natural form is already beautiful. What do you think?” He covers your hands with his own and massages them gently as he looks to you intently. 

“I love it as it is. I love it, I love it, I love it. And I love you,” you give him another squeeze. 

“I love you more, honey,” he pats your hands, “let’s go put it in the bedroom.”

You release him from your hold and follow behind him as he picks it up and carries it into the bedroom, setting it gently by the bed.

“Ta da…! You wanna decorate it and put stuff in the drawers while I wash up quickly?” He suggests, giving you a quick, chaste peck before he disappears into the bathroom. 

The small smile on your face is permanent and your cheeks hurt a little as you put a few things on and inside your new nightstand, finishing with a book on top. 

You head to the kitchen and start to make dinner - you were thinking of a nice dish of rice and curry. You wash the rice and leave it to cook as you chop up some onions and other vegetables for the curry. As you’re doing so, you hear him come out of the bathroom, humming a tune. 

You smile over at him as he walks over and circles his arms around you from behind. 

“I was thinking of how to show you my appreciation for making the nightstand,” you tell him, “I had a few ideas, but the most prominent, short term idea was that I let my body do the talking.”

You feel him smile against your skin, large hands massaging your hips, “I knew you’d say that. But I don’t expect anything in return, sweetheart, you know that.”

“I know. That’s what makes me want you more,” you teasingly push your hips back against his, feeling how his length is stirring to life in his pants. 

“Honey?” He murmurs against your neck, nosing your soft skin. 

He’s trying to be poised, but god, you make it so hard. 

Literally. 

“Yes, Ken?” Your reply is soft as you turn your head to gaze up at him. He plants his lips on yours, kissing you gently. 

“This onion wants you to take his layers off.”

Your chest shakes with laughter at how seriously he said it, and you turn in his arms and slip your arms around his neck, pecking his soft lips a few times, growing hungrier for him, “Best believe I will be taking all of your layers off and getting to your core. But are you going to be a spicy onion, are you gonna make me cry?”

“Affirmative,” he grins, turning off the heat on the stove as he pulls you gently out of the kitchen and into the bedroom, where he had every intention of bringing tears to your eyes.

Do not copy or translate my work. © ashasdiary, all rights reserved.

Divider by cafekitsune

[dmitriene]

THOUGHTS ABOUT CAVEMAN SIMON AND VILLAGER READER.

synopsis: spring has come, and with it the time for sacrifices to someone, who lives far from people and scares everyone who pokes their noses into the forest, and what could be better than bribing the one you fear, so you were chosen as the one who will bear all the gifts deep into the forest.

cw: fluff, comfort, smut, possible dubcon, story set not in modern time and might be unrealistic, not based on real knowledge about cave people, possible ooc simon since he's a caveman, virgin reader, mentions of cannibalism (not in action), biting, licking, groping, simon is rough around the edges, pet names, cunnilingus with dubious consent, simon is inexperienced, male and female intimacy, many mentions of bare flesh, overstimulation, crying, aftercare, kinda kidnapping. pairing: caveman simon ghost riley x villager fem reader

author's note: this idea was born from an absolutely spontaneous conversation with @suimon, and i'm grateful to her, because without her encouragement i wouldn't decide to write such an interesting story, which is kind of new for me, but i still hope those who will read it enjoy, it's my first attempt on writing this kind of plot, that ended up being 4.5k words.

✎ 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵. 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴. 𝘢𝘰3. ˑ༄

long melted snow, allowing fresh green grass to break through the once dissipated white fluff of snow, bright flowers decorating endless meadows and forests surrounding the village exactly along the perimeter — all this brings with it spring, warm weather, fresh juicy fruits and vegetables, and after them the time for a sacrifices.

behind the forest clearing, where the trees become thicker and seem to be getting darker, lives one whose cave, the exact location of which not many people know, are afraid to approach, and you never heard the exact answer, the exact reason, but everyone was afraid of this place more than fire, but were justified by a man who was frightening to the point of trembling, as if they had seen a living ghost.

naturally, you had never seen him, and you treated his stories as if they were fairy tales — an attempt to intimidate the kids from going too far during walks, nothing more, or so it seemed to you, until you were chosen as the one who would go to him with the onset of spring with fertile gifts, an attempt to appease the so-called monster, which terrifies the entire village with its very existence, and you couldn’t understand why you should go to the one you’re afraid of, and also with gifts?

but one way or another, it was not in your authority to refuse the election of the head of the village and the people, so you were dressed up in the best dress from your meager wardrobe, the white fabric flowing to your feet seemed as soft as silk, an absolutely light linen, diluted a wreath woven from fresh, sickly sweet flowers, and in your hands a basket of the freshest fruits and vegetables, with a rope on your wrist, a thick plexus leading to the neck of a good, well-fed cow, the devil knows what he will do with the poor, as you would think, animal, but one way or another — your task is to give, even if you looked the most appetizing here.

walking through the forest is difficult, especially when, of all the attempts to navigate, you only have — “go straight ahead and stop when you see the cave„ and the only thing left to do is to listen, periodically stop when the cow bends down to nibble fresh grass, and then walk again until feeling of dull pain in the legs, due to the fact that making your way through trees and large branches with almost bare feet is uncomfortable, a little painful, and you have to pick up the white dress in your hands so as not to get it dirty, trying to maintain a festive look as possible, not drop the basket, and still get to this damned place.

more and more doubts creep into your head, maybe no one lives there at all, or does, but it’s just a wild animal, and villagers just couldn’t see it in the dark clearlier?

but it’s hard to believe that in the thicket, which every time becomes darker and denser, in which there are more and more bushes and broken branches, and somewhere where there are even tree trunks lying — someone really lives, and while thoughts are wandering around your head like a prodigal wind, and the path completely disappears under your feet, you finally reach the right place, meeting your eyes with a stone cave, assembled from stones in a stable structure, sprinkled with greenery, moss and tree trunks.

really someone’s abode, albeit open, and looking as if it could become your undoing.

even the poor animal seems to be enveloped in fear, the cow bursts into a loud moo, resting her hooves on the ground, and with all due respect, you cannot push such a weight behind you, but you will not let her escape, tying the poor thing by a rope and to a tree trunk nearby, allowing her to calm down a little, to be distracted by tufts of grass, while your gaze rushes forward into the darkness of the cave, and your legs tremble slightly.

— “well.. here i come, cave man, huh..„ slips from your lips encouragingly to your own self, although your voice trembles, but you cannot return to the village with the same full hands, and in any case, you will most likely be sent again after this, damn old people, so the only way is forward.

the branches crunch under your feet, it seems to you, until you notice glimpses of animal bones, and it’s as if you are tugging from the inside, your step immediately quickens, and you practically stumble, clutching the basket to your chest and swallowing nervously, saying in your mind over and over — “it doesn't belonged to someone, it doesn't belonged to someone„ but it didn’t get any easier, as if the deeper you went, the more terrible it became, there was only pitch darkness ahead, not planning to make way for you even for a second, so you walk, almost blindly, closing one eye and making your way with the other.

— “is.. is someone there? hello??„

your voice echoes against the stone walls, but it becomes clearer under your feet, and a little brighter ahead, so you continue to walk even despite the dead silence, step by meek step, getting out to the center of the cave, where the walls become wider, and your eyes get used to darkness, letting small details immediately scatter before your eyes — some kind of wooden cabinet, a small rectangular table with a single chair, and above it a shelf with plates, everything is just like in your own house in the village, however, the bed is not very similar to the usual one, full of skins, located quite low, and you hesitantly step deeper, saying

— “hey?.. i'm, uhm.. i mean no harm, hello? someone?„

your voice sounds a little quieter, patient, as you walk to the table and allow yourself to place that same basket on it, carefully adjusting it along with the vegetables and fruits mixed in it, before moving away, smiling at the more welcoming composition, besides, it decorated a small surrounding emptiness, you even forgot for a while that you were in a cave, you felt comfortable, until the moment you turned around, noticing a dark figure in the corner that turned around sharply, and you screamed uncontrollably.

a large, massive figure in the very corner of the cave turns to face you, demonstrating its immensity and body, hidden under only one piece of fabric, vaguely reminiscent of pants, but what catches you, or rather scares you, is the skull attached to his face, and the skull would be less frightening if it belonged to an animal, but the shape was human like, separated from the back and leaving only the front, somehow attached to a dark piece of fabric stretched over the man’s face, showing the world only his sunken, dark eyes.

simon overreacts to the sound, furrowing his brows and clenching his hands into fists that hang on either side of his wide hips, not liking it when someone barges in uninvited, especially like this, but watching you shake like a cornered rabbit , he softens, and at the same time resolutely begins to walk in your direction, without warning, which makes your heart jump right up to your throat and back into your chest when you calm a bit inside, but still take a couple of steps back from approaching figure.

— “uh, h-hi? i'm sorry, i must scared you.. i-i screamed pretty loud, yeah?„

you babble, the words fly out of your soft lips hastily and with an attempt to justify yourself, and he freezes, breathing somehow displeasedly through his nose and causing his bare chest to heave, but still, he grumbles somehow approvingly, tilting his head to the side, as if having mercy on you and giving the opportunity to justify yourself, and you don’t dare to miss it.

— “uh, i was sent from village, you know, not far from here! i brought you some fresh vegetables and fruits, and cow.. you know, that does moo„ the words come out in one breath, while you spin around, pointing first at the basket that suddenly appeared on his table, then towards the exit, talking about the cow, telling him about it as if you were talking to a child, as if mistaking him for a completely savage, and simon squeezes out a rough, dry laugh, crossing his burly arms over his wide, scarred chest, cutting off your explanations

— “i know what a cow is„

his voice is hoarse, tart like coffee beans on the tongue, and you stop, taking a deep breath.

simon has already realized that you are from that stupid village full of fools who take him for some terrible animal, but instead of the usual fear like in other people’s eyes, in yours he sees some doubt and sincere guilt, like in a child’s who was scolded by his parents, and this causes amusement in his gaze, a flutter in his light eyelashes

— “i'm, sorry.. it's just, the villagers acted like you are some kind of wild animal, and i.. i thought..„

the words get confused in your head and on your tongue, one way or another, you, even if not for long, believed to the words of the people living in the village, believed that he was less human than many, now trying to justify his honor and your words, standing under his gaze and trembling as if leaf in the wind, your legs shook as you squeezed them together, feeling his strange, ardent gaze where your plush thighs began behind the thin fabric, and goosebumps ran down your skin as his lips stretched into a wide, wild grin.

you stand before his eyes like a prettiest gift, a prey — you are shaking like a little rabbit, or a newborn doe, as if your legs are about to lose control of your weight and collapse on the stone floor, even though a carpet of someone’s skin lies under your feet, he wouldn’t want you to return back to the village in a deplorable state, or maybe you yourself were sent as a sacrifice?

he doesn't know, because you look incredibly attractive and alluring in that light outfit with just panties underneath, the silhouette of the fabric of which he can see on your hips before his gaze goes up to where your round, soft breasts are hiding under the finest cloth, and up to the strands of your hair, decorated with a wreath of fresh flowers, he knows it by the sweet smell and by the fact that he has already seen such in the forest, and simon has never tasted people, has not eaten human flesh — but looking at you, at the softness, at the sweetness, maybe he should give it a try?

— “i never tasted human flesh before„ words roll off his tongue in advance of rational thoughts, a rich baritone from the thin line of pale lips behind the fabric of the mask and the shape of the skull where he licks them like a predator.

and you are theprey, the one which trembles and whose eyes widen when you hear his unexpected speech, wild, causing the blood in your veins to freeze and your legs to obey the instinct of escape, and you take off from your place, turn around on the thin sole of your sandals and move your body towards the exit and impenetrable the darkness from which you came, which previously let you in — and will no longer let you go without the permission of its owner.

you can’t even hear simon’s steps behind you, because of how adrenaline is pumping in your ears and blood echoes like white noise in the background, as his figure wraps around yours like a shadow and pulls you, he clings to the light fabric with dirty fingers and squeezes with a heavy weight around your waist, first with his fingers, then with his hand, heavy bonds that drag you into the air and there’s no point in even twitching your legs, he immediately turns you around in his arms, places your soft flesh in his palms, relishing in the softness, warmth, fingers greedily kneading the soft, supple skin between his fingers on top of the now slightly stained fabric, pressing you into a cold stone wall as you close your eyes tightly.

your body is trembling, you’re waiting for the touch of someone else’s teeth on your body, a sharp flash of pain, surrendering to the clutches of creeping death in the guise of a person without resistance, having resigned yourself in advance, even on the threshold of this cave, even when the dark, densely trees swallowed you in the depths of the forest, but no pain comes, no sensation of rough, sharp teeth in the skin, just his hands that slide from your butt, where he shamelessly touched you, to your hips and thighs, tracing the skin and bones over your dress, forcing you to twitch, squeezing your legs together.

something inside you is twisting shamefully hotly, curling into a coil in your lower abdomen and setting all your nerve endings on fire, you still don’t look, your eyelashes and eyelids are trembling, and simon takes pleasure in your instinctive fear, akin to the animals he mercilessly catches in the depths of the forest, kneeling in front of you just as he once knelt in front of them, but you were distinguished from a dead animal by your vitality, sweet aroma, soft warm body which he wanted to taste until greedily accumulating saliva in his mouth.

— “pretty„

he growls low from his throat, causing you to flush with a flash of blush, your fingertips prickling nervously, it seems that he’s saying this from a sadistic point of view, not really to you, rather than to your body, to what he will eat, and you refuse to look at the eyes of your fear, even when rough, calloused hands run along your legs until he lays them on his broad shoulders, lifts up the dress that gets in the way, exposes the skin to your thighs and carelessly leaves them rumpled to dangle there, when his bare mouth pierces your skin and licks.

your eyes immediately widen following the hitching breath that flies through your parted lips, and you look at him, this beast, this man, standing in front of you on both knees, and even between your legs he seems immense, but strangely tender, when he licks and gently bites a path to your thighs along the soft flesh, pressing his nose into it, you see it’s slightly crooked form briefly, the black fabric falls to cover everything except his mouth, which greedily tastes you like no one has ever tasted.

his dark eyes meet yours fleetingly, yours are frightened, his are peaceful and satisfied, the corners of his lips rise forward and spread on his face, and you feel every movement of his lips on you in dangerous proximity as he crawls higher and higher, settling between supple thighs with his head, sticking his nose and mouth into a place that attracts him with sweetness and wetness, a small sticky spot on the thin fabric, into which he buries himself greedily, opening his mouth wide and licking the fat stripe along your panty clad pussy, burying his nose in your twitching clit and grinning at the reaction of your body, as well as at the quiet, ringing moan that arose from the depths of your throat.

the light, thin fabric gets wet from the amount of saliva in his mouth, mixing with the moisture that is released from your hot, bothered pussy, causing the gusset of your panties become almost transparent, as simon buries himself deeper, without asking, he just takes it, squeezing your thighs until there is a slight, uncomfortable pain burning on your skin, as your legs kick forward and attempt to squeeze together because of the new sensations that you don’t understand, didn’t experienced before, but he’s not going to let you escape just yet, but you squeak, a shushed, soft sound, which makes him soften nonetheless.

simon's gaze studies you through his light eyelashes, he sees the conflicting emotions on your face, how your chest is heaving, how moisture collects on your lash line, threatening to release and turn into tears, so his arms wrap around and squeeze your legs a little more carefully, stroking the soft skin with awkward, uncertain circular movements of his fingers, he hasn’t interacted with people for a long time, especially in the moments like these, when his face is buried between your thighs while he laps lightly against your panties.

fear slowly leaves your body along with rational thoughts, you lose your vigilance in the hands of a stranger, a person who shamelessly touches your private parts, but touches you so well, so carefully, igniting that warmth in the bottom of your belly more and more each time and allowing you to twitch, squirm as much as it possible while being held half in the air, thus only pushing your hips forward, towards his wet mouth, and shuddering with pleasure and new flashes when his nose nuzzles harder into your little clit, making your toes curl, and he growls.

— “so sweet„

comes out as a muffled growl, and you don’t know if he’s talking about you or your pussy, but he licks you more actively, making your folds stick to the absolutely wet fabric of your panties, while he slurps and sucks your folds and clit, his movements are messy, uncertain, he's been isolated from people and any contact with them with his own hands, but that doesn't stop him from having a taste, as his tongue runs between your folds and he continues to tease you with slow, exploring movements.

you make more and more unusual to yourself sounds, quiet moans, breathy mewls, wet squelches that he swallows whole as your hands find support on his head and you dig your fingers into his mask, as you grow more and more impatient in your movements, just in time when simon gets tired of this unnecessary, wet piece of fabric, a barrier to the sweetest fruit and nectar in his life, so he bares his teeth and clings to the waistband of your underwear, helping himself with his fingertips and tearing them away down your legs, exposing your fluttering, wet hole to his hungry eyes and mouth.

the mere sight leaves him swelling with hardness in his pants, and your gaze catches on the silhouette of his cock, leaning heavily against his meaty thigh and bulging against the thin fabric, one little sight had you swallowwing nervously before your eyes roll back from the sharp contact of his bare lips with your bare cunt, he swipes his thick tongue once, twice, licking your wet folds and slurping your juices as an endless source of quenching his thirst, he licks and licks until you begin to lose yourself in how long you've been in this position, where your folds and clit swell, and simon just presses himself unexpectedly deeper before suddenly diving in further.

a loud sigh and a whiny moan spread through the cave, his tongue curls at the tip, when he accidentally, but with pressure, pushes your folds apart and into your fluttering hole, his tongue flattens against your entrance, before licking and thrusting inside, into the warmth of your velvety walls that tighten around his muscle right there, and he growls with satisfaction, akin to a muffled purr, moving his head up and down, smearing his entire jaw and lips in your slick, surrendering fully to your softness and warmth.

every movement of his tongue inside leaves you trembling, your legs intuitively spread apart further along his broad shoulders, your hips find a natural rhythm and constantly buck forward with every lick of his fat tongue against your walls and his sucking on your clit, noticing what reaction it causes in you and trying to hear more of your absolutely innocent, wanton squeaks and moans, enjoying the knowledge that you act and feel this way because of his actions, so he presses his knees into the stone floor harder and leans forward further.

your stomach twists more and more, and you push his face away from you with sharp, broken whimpers, when his tongue touches your spongy spot again and again, your body seems to be engulfed in flames, your spine arches away from the wall, resting your entire weight on his face and curling over him, breathing loudly and shakily when the tip of his tongue thrust rapidly, abusing your sweet, spongy spot with his hungry, drooling mouth.

he only grunts as you lean your full weight on him, continuing his assault on your throbbing and clenching hole, alternating between grazing his tongue against your folds and clit, or thrusting his muscle deep inside your core in fast, albeit languid movements, just until your loud whimpers and hoarse mewls echo against his stone walls, and your stomach twists and turns as your body convulses in an unexpected feeling of sudden orgasm, cunt clenches and pulsates around his tongue, letting go of your sweet slick and milky cum for him to have, covering his chin and mouth in the huge amount of liquid that he actively drink and lap up, opening his mouth wide and licking you clean, drinking till the last drop.

simon doesn’t stop, as if not knowing the line, which he doesn’t really know, continuing to run his tongue against your slit and cling to your hole, as he sukles on your clit, your whole body is buzzing strangely, your head begins to ache from the endless pleasure and overstimulation that his actions and touches bring, making everything between your legs swell and tingle, you desperately claw his bare back with your hands, adding to the scarred canvas of his flesh, trying to push, resist, but he doesn’t care, right until a loud sob escapes your lips.

he reacts instantly, making something close to a questioning grumble before retreating slightly between your legs, licking his thin lips around the edges and all your fluids on your thighs, you hang on him like a sack of potatoes, trying to grab his back with your hands and at the same time not allowing him to move away from you normally, quietly, pitifully sobbing, which cause him to growl, and with a rough grip of his wide hands on your hips, unhook you from him.

simon holds you more carefully, more gently, his hands are still shamelessly squeezing and pawing your hips, going down to the swell of your plush ass, touching the skin and also pulling down your dress to cover you and provide you with the minimum comfort possible in your position, where your panties lie torn on the floor, and endless salty tears flow down your raw, cowered in slight blush cheeks, and he feels even more sympathy for you than all the times before, frowning his light eyebrows and pursing his lips.

— “don't cry..„

he mutters in frustration, carefully releasing one hand from under your butt to carefully wipe the wetness of tears from your cheeks, while you sniff your reddened nose, your head and body pulsating with a strange surge of fatigue, there's still an uncontrollable throb between your legs, and the very thought of this feeling makes you sad, as your eyelids gradually get heavier with a dissatisfied whine escaping from the depths of your throat.

— “shh„

simon whispers quietly, shamelessly moving his face closer to yours to lick your wet cheeks, making you frown and grimace, resting your hands weakly on his shoulders before he gently begins to rock you in his bulky arms and press you against his chest, changing your position so that he supports you under your knees and your back rests comfortably on his thick bicep, curling up, and you no longer care about everything that happens.

you were in a comfortable, floating state between sleep and consciousness, not struggling or scratching like most of the little preys he meet, allowing him to carry you carefully away from the far wall and to a place that vaguely resembled a human bed, full of soft animal skins and located closer to the floor, on which he lays you down and immediately wraps you in the warmth of various furs, fleetingly touching the top of your head while carefully stroking your hair, reaching to the already slightly tattered wreath with flowers and throwing it away somewhere, to which you don’t even react, on the contrary, you cuddle in response to his touch with your head and face.

this makes him chuckle hoarsely, a sound that makes your skin crawl, but he carefully lays you down more comfortably and strokes your warm cheek, going down to your shoulder and drawing the same awkward circles here with the tip of his finger until you are taken into deep sleep, first with your mind, then with your body, allowing your eyes to close and plunge into darkness in a place unfamiliar to you, going limp and burying your nose in fur that smells sharply of musk, something tartly foresty and reminiscent of him, plunging you even deeper and further in viscious sleep, following the rough whisper, that is contrasting with his careful, soft touches.

— “sleep well, my pretty sacrifice„

simon mumbles practically under his breath, his dark eyes following every flutter of your eyelashes and the sigh that slips from your parted lips, before making sure that you are in a deep sleep and getting himself up from his haunches, the movement is accompanied by a slight crunch of bones and a grumble from his lips, he looks around his own cave, a torn, damp cloth lying on the floor, a wreath with scattered petals and a basket with some sort of offerings on the table, which he will use later.

for now he rests his hands on his hips, licking his slightly dry lips and looking at the prominent weight between his legs, resting against the fabric of his pants and responding with warm, tingling arousal and slight drippling moisture, but he will take care of this later, for now, simon will collect all the unnecessary garbage from the floor and get it as far away as possible, and then take care of the cow you brought with you from the village, even if he doesn't prefer to use meat from someone else's hands, he can definitely let it pass now, because he will need to persuade you to stay with him, as soon as you wake up.

simon will not allow something like you to escape, he has denied himself contact and warmth for too long, and now, having touched the forbidden fruit, he knows one thing for sure — he will never let it go again and will not refuse it, so you are in his abode for a long time.

[sundrop-writes]

if Mike fell asleep with you...

Word Count: 750

Horror Characters Masterlist

Warnings: this is mostly pure fluff - Mike and the reader are in an established relationship, the reader's gender is not described in any way (the main pronouns used are you/yours), Mike calls the reader angel, the reader takes on a caregiver role for Abby, mostly just short and fluffy. This is set before the main events of the movie, when Mike is working as a security guard at the mall.

A/N: So, I've seen so many people in the tags going 'just let him sleep!!! that man is so exhausted!!' and saying that he's too tired to fuck in the way that people are writing fanfics about him. And as much as I love super horny fics, I do thought this up, because I agree - the man should be allowed to sleep. This is largely inspired by that scene in Grey's Anatomy where Meredith walked in and Owen was asleep on Cristina's chest while she was reading a book (I think it was when she was reading through Mer's mom's diaries?) - anyway. I love that scene so much because it shows how easily he sleeps around her because he's so comfortable around her. And that's why it deeply inspired this. Let him sleep.

...

Mike was exhausted when he came in the door. 

He heaved out a sigh as he closed the door behind him, toeing off his shoes - pure, stiff tiredness radiating through his whole body in the worst way. 

You knew that sound anywhere. 

“Long day?” You inquired gently from your position on the couch, lightly craning your neck to look at him. 

He shuffled further into the house in an almost zombie-like fashion, only giving you a solitary grunt in response. 

You felt kind of bad that he had been stuck at work late when you had been lucky enough to have a morning shift and been treated to a relaxing evening with Abby. She was a relatively easy kid to take care of, and generally fun to be around. 

And after you had put her to bed, you laid out on the couch, relaxing and reading a novel that your friend had recommended. Generally, you were having a nice evening. And it seemed that Mike was not. 

As you kept an eye on Mike, you folded over the page of your book to mark it and put it on the coffee table for later. 

“Dinner’s on the counter.” You told him. “I made lasagna. I can heat it up for you if you want.” 

You hated that before he started dating you, all he knew was freezer burnt crap - but you were slowly showing him how to cook, and a world of vegetables that didn't come in a can. 

Mike took off his jacket and the heavy belt he had to wear for work (his large walkie talkie and his taser were in his locker at work, as mandated, but the thing was still damn uncomfortable) and he hung them both up. 

He didn’t respond to your queries about dinner as he walked around the couch. Instead of speaking, seeing you laying there so relaxed - the sight was all too inviting, and he eased himself to lay on top of you in a form of very natural intimacy before he grunted a few words into your neck. 

“Did Abby eat?” He asked softly as he laid on top of you. 

It was oddly comforting to have the bulk of his weight on top of you, especially as he melted against you, letting out a small moan as the tension melted out of his bones. He adjusted himself to get more comfortable and his face rested against the softness of your chest - you glanced down to see that his eyes were drifting closed. 

“She ate two platefuls, and had some peas.” You assured him. “Did her homework, had a bath, and she practiced her spelling words before she went to bed.” 

Mike grunted again - a more positive pitch to this one. He couldn't ask for anyone better than you. Sometimes he worried about her - all the time. But when Abby was with you, that worry lessened a lot. 

“You’re an angel.” He hummed against your chest. “I don’t-” He let out a gentle yawn. “I don’t know how I got so lucky with you.” 

“You look hot in a uniform and my job at the bookstore gets boring.” You replied, half-joking about the circumstances of how your relationship with Mike had formed. 

You reached out to him and began running your fingers through his hair, soothing him even further into the realm of sleep with the comforting touch. 

He let out another tired moan in reply - something that almost stretched into a rolling sound with the gentle pleasure of your hand in his hair. With the way his body was so slack against yours, his breathing even and quiet, you knew this was only leading one place. 

“You wanna go get ready for bed?” You asked gently. 

“In a minute.” He answered softly, barely parting his lips to get the words out. 

You glanced over to the table and reached out, picking your book back up as his breathing deepened and his body went even more slack. You were preparing to get comfortable for the next few hours. You weren’t all that tired yourself, and you still had a few chapters left to go. When you got to the next chapter, he began to snore lightly and you felt drool dripping down your neck - which didn’t bother you all that much. You found it cute, in fact. 

You were comforted by the fact that he relaxed enough around you to get such a good sleep. You knew that he needed it. 

...

A/N: also, this is my first time posting a fic completely from mobile by copy/pasting something from google docs on my phone. So hopefully the formatting isn't too messed up and hopefully this goes well! And I hope you guys enjoy this short fluffy fic 💖

[allfearstofallto]

hii! can i make a request?

I've been thinking about angsty things a bit. say if, reader got pregnant, would she hate it? how would scara/childe react? in my opinion, id like to think that scara thinks of this as a way to tie her down to him more, plus its canon he likes kids!! and as for childe i think he'd be very very happy since he has soooo many siblings, (maybe he wants a lot of kids too??)

and..what if reader miscarried? i have this thought of where scara would still be cold to her but give her breaks and more space than usual, but what if reader completely locks herself in and then when he confronts her about it they get into a huge argument, how would scara tackle that, would he resort to abusive tactics and would it increase readers hatred & distance more?

just a brainrot, you dont have to write about it if you're not comfy^_^

This took me so so so long!! I'm so sorry if you were waiting for it!!

I don't typically write for things like pregnancy because it makes me uncomfortable, but I'd be lying if I said I do not absolutely fucking adore angst and hopelessness.

Parasite

Yandere! Scaramouche x Fem! Reader

Forced Marriage AU

TW: 18+ MDNI, Dark Content, Forced marriage, Pregnancy, Miscarriage, Mentions of Dub/Non-Con

A week late turned into two. Two turned into a month. A month turned into three. And three turned into unusual cravings for foods that didn't go together. Sickness and vomiting clouded the hours of your mornings. Dread filled your body the second you realized what this was. Stress makes your cycles late, you told yourself, stress makes your entire body change, and this was a stressful situation, but stress wasn't causing this, was it?

Scaramouche could tell the changes in you immediately. As someone who constantly kept tabs on your life, it was only fair to assume that he'd noticed your slight fluctuation in weight and lack of asking for your monthly cloths. When you were called into his office, you felt a hot flash all over your body, you assumed it was fear, but it could've also been nausea.

His office was a place filled with dread. The air in the room was too thick and worst of all, he was there. The room made you feel small, the only good thing about it was that he was usually too focused on his mile high stacks of paperwork. Except today. Today his razor sharp gaze was focused on your trembling form as you bowed to him, his eyes following down, then back up.

“Answer me honestly,” he began, hands planted on the wood in front of him, “Are you with child?”

If you could throw up again, you would. Of course, you knew all this time, but you never wanted to say it. You hoped, just hoped and prayed that maybe if you never acknowledged it, it would all go away. It would all be a bad dream. But it was true. There was something disgusting living inside you. And it was his.

“I believe so, my lord,” the words couldn't even completely fall from your lips before you were a blubbering, sobbing mess of anguish and fear. Despite the fact that you were completely breaking down before him, he had a small smile on his face, like he was proud of what he'd done to you.

“That's good,” he said calmly, wiping away your tears and planting a forced kiss upon your face. His touch felt cold as ice, but his hands against you made you want to melt your skin away.

The reaction to the “good news” was immediate, whether that was good or bad was up in the air, but everything changed. The tight obi of all the kimono you owned would put too much pressure on your budding stomach, new one's were ordered to be ready as you grew more in size. Your diet was changed completely, less of the Inazuma raw delicacies and more lean meat and vegetables. Daily classes of calligraphy and tea ceremonies were switched to resting with your feet up or light stretching, everything to keep you happy and healthy during your pregnancy.

The biggest change was Scaramouche himself. A man filled with so much hatred and disgust, was suddenly being kinder. Or trying to at least. You watch him open his mouth to make a comment, only to shut it again in favor of saying something still rude, but less insulting.

The Scaramouche that believed that he could take your body whenever he pleased was long gone, even though that was what got you in this predicament in the first place. He'd taken to leaving you in the middle of the night and going to the bathroom to sate his urges. He'd come back with cold damp hands and lay next to you, a protective hand over your stomach as he kissed your cheek and told you how much he loved you.

The day you saw blood between your legs and felt an aching pain in your stomach was a joyous one indeed. A part of you wanted to scream out in glee, but you didn't want to wake your already on edge husband. The blood that coated your fingers could only mean one thing. One good thing. It was gone. You were free of it. Almost immediately, the dark air that seemed to linger over your body vanished and you let out a sigh of relief.

Scaramouche was informed shortly before breakfast that same morning. You relayed the information to a maid, who then told him, whispering the words in his ear so quietly, it sounded like she was speaking gibberish. His face, his expression, changed to one shock, then horror, then pain. You didn't even know he could make such a face, yet there he was with tears in his eyes.

“Wh-what happened?” There was that tone again. The one you were used to. The anger and distaste for you in his voice. He slammed his fist down on the desk, turning his head away from you as his voice became high and breathy, so desperate for answers, “What did I do wrong?”

You stood in his office awkwardly, even this display from a person you hated, this display of agony was hurting you as well. You thought it would be funny. Seeing the man who pulled you from your home and forced you into marriage in pain was supposed to make you happy, but you felt your own chest clenching, felt your hands tremble.

“I-i suppose…I was stressed, my lord,” you muttered, his already labored breaths hitching at those words. The few months you were carrying that thing inside your body, was when he asked for less from you. He expected you to laze around all day and relax. For your body to fall into a daze like trance of naps and delicious food. He wanted happiness for both you and his child that you carried, yet you were still the most stressed you'd ever been in your entire life, knowing that he had something inside you. Something that would continue to fester and grow, until it eventually ate you alive.

He sat back in his office chair dejected, hurt, and empty. Scaramouche's normally sharp, glaring eyes were wide as he stared at the ceiling, body limp as he bit his lip, “Leave me,” he sighed, his voice barely above a whisper. Had it not been for the quietness of the room, you wouldn't have heard him.

Leave him you did, closing the door as silently as possible and not lingering behind. You felt yourself finally stop tensing, telling yourself that all your woes were over, for now. The thing was gone. You were happy. For once, even if unintentionally, you'd won over your captor.

[wordsbyrian]

Would you pls do a Mary earps imagine with them filming TikTok’s together and being otp x

A/n: Not exactly what you asked for but close enough i think.

TikTok is the bane of your very existence.

It’s the bane of your professional life as a chef because everytime you turn around one of your crew is using prep time to make a concoction and upload it to that godforsaken app.

And in your personal life?

Well, in your personal life, it feels like every time you blink you're being sucked into filming one of those stupid videos with your girlfriend.

The first time it happened, you were barely even sure what was going on.

The two of you had been getting ready to go on a date to a relatively nice restaurant, when she pulled up in front of her phone’s camera so she could show off what you were wearing.

That had been the beginning of the madness (as well as a very hard launch of your relationship to the public).

It didn’t really matter what you were doing, if Mary had decided that a video needed to be filmed, it’d be filmed.

A literal walk in the park. TikTok.

You driving. TikTok.

You tearing a member of the kitchen staff a new one. TikTok. (Although she’d been asked not so politely by the head chef to never do that again).

You cooking in your shared flat. TikTok.

Hell, she even made a TikTok of you sharpening your knives, a task you find completely mind numbing.

And if having your every move recorded wasn’t bad enough, she also had you joining her in filming one of the more popular trends. You mouthing along to the silly sounds that are currently popular on the app. Or worse, dancing, you hate the dancing.

Asking how often you think about the Roman Empire (only as often as you need to).

Throwing herself fully clothed into the shower  and singing Taylor Swift while you were trying to brush your teeth.

Making you record a two second clip of everytime you changed clothes while on vacation.

The list is neverending.

Which is why you should be more alarmed when you see her walking into the kitchen  with her phone out but you’re too focused on chopping the vegetables you’ll be using in your meal prep.

 “Baby,” she says.

“Hmm?”

“Can we record a TikTok?”

“Can I keep doing what I’m doing,” you ask in return, still not looking up from the cutting board.

“You don’t need to do anything but stand there and look pretty,” Mary says as she sets her phone up next to you. “And answer questions,” she adds as an afterthought.

You roll your eyes but don’t make any additional comments as you see her hit record.

“So a ton of you have been asking in the comments how my wife manages to be a professional chef when she has so many food allergies,” Mary says, looking directly at the camera. “And I figured it was better if I just let her explain it. Babe?”

Admittedly, you hadn’t really been listening to every word that she had been saying, only really listening to every word that she had been saying, only really catching the words ‘allergies’ and ‘professional chef’, which is a topic you get asked about a lot. So you just answer without really thinking.

“My main allergies are seafood, peanuts and treenuts. And since I’m one of 2 or 3 sous on any given night, I just,” you pause, “wait, what did you just call me?”

You can feel cheeks heating up as your brain finally processes what just happened.

“What? Babe?”

Mary’s playing dumb on purpose. She knows it. You know it. And you both know that the other one knows.

“Not that, the other thing.”

“What my wife,” she asks.

A cheeky grin breaks out on Mary’s face as she watches even more color rush to your face.

For you, when she repeats it, you suddenly feel like you can barely breathe and you know that your next words come out a little choked (much to Mary’s amusement.)

“Yup, that.”

As calmly as you can manage, you put your knife down and take off your apron before walking out of the kitchen.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“I have to find my wallet and keys,” you shoot back.

“Why?”

“I gotta go buy a ring before you change your mind!”

The sound of her laughter is the only thing you hear as you close the door behind you.

The video is up on that cursed app by the end of the week.

A photo of the ring on Mary’s finger goes up just a few hours before.

[thebearer]

ok but on a very real and very serious note...

carmen's first valentine's day with you.

i'm going to share some thoughts, feel free to add:

carmen has always hated valentine's day since he was in elementary school. he hated the everyone make a valentine thing because people would go out of their way to be an asshole and not give him one.

he bought one of those flower-grams in middle school to give to the girl he had a crush on, and she didn't even acknowledge it and he was so embarrassed he never did it again.

carmen hates valentine's day. has always worked on every valentine's day because he would rather and he's never had a serious relationship.

until this year with you.

it's new-ish. one of the bigger milestones. and he's torn. does he do something? does he not?

"are you out of your mind? yes, carmen, you do something on valentine's day." sugar scoffs like it's obvious.

"yeah... you should definitely do something." sydney adds.

but what? what does one do? carmen's not sure.

"just take her somewhere nice. get her some flowers, a little somethin'- not too much, though, alright? you gotta be able to top it, so don't hit your peak. just somethin' small." richie tells him.

so carmen makes some calls, gets reservations, asks you out- you agree, of course, and for once, carmen berzatto has valentine's day plans.

he buys you a tiffany necklace, which makes both sugar and richie a little confused.

"i said small, cousin."

"no, it is. it is. it's just, it's just like a normal one. no diamonds." carmen is now very nervous because, fuck, he thought it was a good gift!!! "the sales lady said it would be perfect. that-that she'd like it."

"she's not wrong." sugar shrugs. "she will like it, it's just... y'know."

"it's a lot? fuck, it's a lot."

"she'll like it, carmen." sugar tries to stop his spiral. "promise, she'll like it."

and you do. you love it, squeal and gasp over it, give carmen the biggest hug and kiss in the restaurant. he's blushing under the low light in the booth.

"i feel... i got you something, but-but it's not like this..." you're a little embarrassed and suddenly carmen's heart is racing because he didn't even think about you getting him something??? now he looks like a jagoff trying to show off.

"you didn't- you really didn't have to get me anything."

"no, but i wanted to." you smile, reaching for your own little bag. "it's just... it's not a lot. not like this."

and to carmen, it's better. a little 'emergency kit', you'd called it. first aid, deodorant, note pads, a little pocket agenda, sharpies- so many sharpies. carmen had been complaining about always forgetting things in the office, so consumed with the kitchen, and you'd listened. you'd heard him, and remembered it, and put this together for him. in a cutesy little tackle box, decorated with fruit and vegetable stickers he found adorable.

"wow," carmen is swallowing back tears. "this is..."

"i'm sorry." you cringe. "i didn't- i should've got you a real gift-"

"-what? no, no this is." carmen nods, looking up at you. "you remembered."

you blink at him. "well, yeah. you said you were always forgetting and-and i figured it would be useful-"

"-it is. it's... thank you." carmen beams, the wave of emotions that hit him startle him a little, make him a little unsure. "thank you for this." then he's leaning in to kiss you, cradling your jaw in the dark lit restaurant.

as you're sharing your meal, pressed side by side, giggling and whispering to each other sweetly, a wave of clarity washes over carmen. he kinda gets the hype around valentine's day, for once.

[cottonlemonade]

Time Well Spent

word count: 984 || avg. reading time: 4 mins.

pairing: post-time skip!Kita x chubby!Reader

genre: suggestive, fluff

warnings: mdni

request: medium guava lemonade with frozen berries for Shinsuke || fluffy-spicy vacation with boyfriend Shinsuke

If you would ask anyone on the street they‘d all agree that Kita was a devoted, patient, and sweet-mannered grandson and when he started dating you two years ago fresh out of university, everyone thought that you were a great match. Walking hand in hand around the small town was almost guaranteed to spark questions of marriage or an armful of some fresh vegetable that an overly excited grandmother wanted to share with the happy couple.

So when you moved in together this summer, there was gossip about an impending wedding, but Kita shot it down immediately. Not, because he didn‘t want to marry you - he would have done so long ago if he wasn‘t worried of rushing you. But because he thought things were too hectic currently to even think about any kind of ceremony. His grandmother had come to visit. Or better, to stay as it seemed. In a surge of energy, she asked a local carpenter to completely redo her house, and, not wanting her to be inconvenienced staying somewhere else, you and Kita were quick to invite her to your new home. The downside was, the walls were very thin and she had been there for over a month. You both already missed the intimacy and freedom you had just acquired and as much as you loved Yumi, you missed having your boyfriend to yourself.

“Are you sure it‘s no problem?“, you asked for the hundredth time as Kita carried the last piece of luggage to his truck.

“None at all, sweetheart.“, Yumi said, patting your full cheek gently, “Ya two deserve some time off. Always workin‘ like that... That‘s not good for yer soul.“

“We‘ll be back in three days.“

“I know.“, Yumi laughed, “Believe it or not, I have lived on my own before, y/n-chan.“

You gave her one more hug, Kita received a pat on the head and together you got in the car, and off you went. The drive to the city wasn‘t very long, luckily and you sighed contently as you watched as the sun set over the many rice paddies you drove past. Kita had his free hand entwined with yours on the middle console and rubbed his thumb soothingly over your soft skin. You couldn’t wait to be alone with him for three whole days and you knew he felt the same way.

“Almost there, dove.“, he said as the truck, seemingly out of place between all the gleaming city cars, turned right on an intersection. As he drove, a big building with flashy castle-like turrets came into view and you were just about to point it out and make a comment about how comical it looked when Kita pulled into the parking lot.

“Uhm, babe? Are you sure this is the right place?“

“Very.“, he said as he opened the door for you and held out his hand to you.

You looked around, noting the many windows with the curtains drawn. It was barely dinner time, you expected there to be a lot more bustling.

The reception desk had you do a double take. Only a small opening in an otherwise milky window gave any indication that there was a person on the other side.

Kita retrieved your keys and held out his hand again.

“Ya ready, dove?“

Your eyes fell onto the many brochures tucked into a little stand next to the reception and realization dawned. This was a love hotel. Did… did Kita book it accidentally? It wouldn‘t be strange for your sometimes densely innocent boyfriend to think that maybe for your special weekend off, he should look for something extra romantic. And what was more romantic than a hotel with the word love in the title?

As you waited for the elevator you tried to think of a way to bring it up without sounding patronizing. The thought process was an adorable one for sure.

“11… 11… 9, 10, 11. Here we are.“, he announced and opened the door.

The room was a whole lot tamer than you expected, judging from the dark atmospheric hallway and those brochures in the lobby. It was pretty cute, actually. The bed was ginormous and strewn with rose petals like you‘d expect a honeymoon suite to be. It had a soft, traditional feel to it. Setting down the bags by the door and kicking off your shoes you went to explore and froze in your tracks when you saw a whole array of condoms on the coffee table by the large TV. You should tell him.

“Honey, I love that you booked the hotel and everything-“ You were cut off by him coming up behind you and kissing your neck. His strong arm wrapped around your soft tummy and pulled you against him. Your eyes fluttered shut and, once you gathered your thoughts, you tried again.

“Did you check the website when you booked it?“

He hummed Yes against your skin, his lips and tongue making it very difficult to focus on what you wanted to say.

Squeezing your eyes shut you decided to just tell him. “This is a love hotel.“

Silence. Kita‘s lips brushed one more time against that spot under your ear that always drove you crazy, then broke from you. You turned around, expecting to see him confused.

And he was. “I know.“, he said with a questioning eyebrow.

You pushed further, worried that your point didn‘t come across. “You… do you know what love hotels are for?“

He nodded. “Yeah.“

With one swift motion, he grabbed one of the condoms from the coffee table and, guiding you backward by your hips it didn‘t take long for you to fall back onto the supremely soft sheets. Kita stood over you, using one hand to undo his jeans, the other to open the packaging with his teeth. He smiled down at your surprised blush. “I‘m very well aware.“

a/n: thank you so much for your request, hon. I hope it was somewhat what you had in mind 😏🌟 @ranscutedoll

And what is a post of mine without a thank you to @haikyu-mp4 for having the sparking idea!

[lexilovestom]

SILENT TREATMENT

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— in which: Tom and Y/n go shopping at the mall and he keeps annoying her as a joke, only to make it up to her when they get home ;)

⌞ contains: smut, some angst, fluff, kitchen sex, annoying ass y/n 🤪 (like fr i wanna smack her in the face at times- ANYWAYS) ⌝

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— Y/n's pov

Tom and I are at a huge home furnishings store that recently opened in our town, and we're looking for some new cookware. I pretty much had to beg him to take me here since he doesn't really like shopping, especially for pots and pans. But I told him that, since it's a new store, we could look around and find some cool gadgets and stuff we both might like. And that pretty much convinced him.

The only thing is, he's been annoying and embarrassing me in front of everyone the whole time. I don't know what got to him, but I'm definitely not liking it.

It started with an innocent joke by "accidentally" banging a pot on my head with a little 'whoops! sorry Y/n, didn't see you there', but it quickly turned into different jokes about our private life that made people turn their heads in our direction. No matter how many times I told him to stop and laughed it off, he just kept going and going to the point the jokes became a little too intrusive and repetitive for my likings.

I know it's something he does when he's bored, and it's just his humor, but enough is enough at some point.

"Y/n are you done?" Tom whines on a patio chair in the middle of the store while I look at some outdoor decor.

I turn to his direction and find him pretty much laying on it with his legs spread. I tilt my head and drop my arms in disappointment, "are you really this exhausted?"

"Hell yeah, Y/n! it's almost 8:00pm and I'm starving! even the store is closing down!" he exclaims. I look at him frustrated, "k, let's check out and go." I start walking away as I hear Tom following behind me. I've been pretty quiet and cold towards him, and i think he finally got the message.

We're now in line and I can feel him looking down at me with a small smirk on his lips. I turn to him "what", "why are you maddd!! I was just joking!" he chuckles to lighten up the tension, but I don't give in.

"You're embarrassing me! it's not funny" I say whisper yelling as he bites his lip and smacks my ass multiple times lightly. I gasp and smack his hand away, "Tom stop! there's people behind!" he laughs. "Asshole."

He then leans closer to my ear, "these white jeans are driving me crazy you know?" he smirks as it's now our turn to check out, "oh my god please shut up and walk ahead." I roll my eyes as he chuckles once again.

Said that we pay for everything, walk out the store as Tom puts his right arm around my shoulders and head home. The car ride was pretty much silent, even if Tom was singing along to Dr Dre's debut album on the radio. He even offered to open the car door for me like a gentleman.

— time skip

Tom is sitting at the dinner table as I place down the ceramic plate containing some vegetables and a schnitzel. Halfway through our meal he suddenly speaks up, "so...will you talk to me again now?" I look at him, "i haven't decided yet."

"You just did!" he chuckles as I give him a death stare for about 2 seconds.

"Y/n come on! i was just joking! why do you have to take it so seriously!? plus, people around us could care less about what we do. They weren't even looking!"

"Yes they were, Tom! they were giving very weird looks and you know how much i feel judged in public already!!" he leans his back on his chair. "I appreciate when you mess with me, but today you took it a little too far in my opinion" I break. Tom's expression becomes so unreadable to the point I can't figure out whether he's confused or sorry. But I hear him exhale through his nose in defeat. He's in no mood to discuss and i understand.

After a while we finish our meals and, as Tom leaves to our bedroom, i stay in the kitchen to wash the dishes.

The house is dark, and the only light on is from the under cabinets of the kitchen. Everything's quiet and the only form of noise is the running water from the sink and the clinking dishes.

I'm thinking about how i might have overreacted over Tom messing with me at the store this evening. Even if he made me genuinely mad, he was just doing it for fun and i took it very personally, in the end...

All of a sudden, as my thoughts come to me in a rush, I hear footsteps coming down the staircase. I stiffen as I obviously know who it is.

Tom sneaks quietly near the kitchen island, I can feel his eyes burning at the back of my figure as I continue to wash the dishes. He's just standing there, looking at me. What's he doing?

He lets out a sigh and gets behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and placing his head in the crook of my neck. "Will you talk to me now?" he repeatedly presses small pecks on my bare cheek.

As much as I want to, I stand my ground and completely ignore him. He murmurs a small 'hm?' before he shakes me side to side as he tickles me, "are you gonna give in?"

I then let out a giggle as he knows I can't stay mad at him for too long. Tom lifts his head up and smiles, "ohh! is that a chuckle I heard?!" he shakes me again before I let out another laugh at the movement.

"Look look look! that's my girl!" he laughs. "Come on baby, you know I don't like seeing you like this." I place the last plate I was washing down and feel Tom spinning me to face him by my hips.

"I'm sorry i made you uncomfortable, you know that's the last thing I wanna do to you." He looks me in the eyes and I can see nothing but sincerity and sorrow in them. I take a deep breath, break eye contact and then look back at him, "apology accepted," I smile faintly as Tom returns the favor. "I'm sorry I reacted that way."

"You have nothing to be sorry about, liebe. Don't even think about it." He whispers as I nod slowly, getting lost in his iris.

Our faces are now inches apart and we both slowly lean in to fill the gap between us. The kiss is soft and comforting, but it escalates quickly after I wrap my arms around his neck to deepen it.

Tom holds me tight to him, and as we passionately make out, I feel a sudden burning sensation in between my legs. He then goes down to my neck, softly kissing and sucking on my g spot, making me whimper lightly, before coming back up to my lips.

He begins to take my pyjamas shirt off, tossing it somewhere on the kitchen floor, and stares at my cleavage for a few seconds before taking one of my breasts in his hand and start playing with it. Lowering his other hand down my back and onto my ass, giving it a good typical squeeze.

I sneak my hand near his already hardened crotch, making him whimper with my slow movements. "Hold on, schatzi. I wanna make it up to you" he whispers on my lips before pressing his back on mine.

Tom then takes his shirt off and picks me up, placing me on the counter. As he's standing in between my legs I touch his defined torso before getting interrupted by him pulling my shorts and panties off at the same time.

He immediately slides his hand down my heat, "so wet for me already? wow, schatzi, you really can't resist me, can you?"

I whimper as a response as he begins tracing circles on my area. I spread my legs wider at his touch and can't help but bite my lip to avoid any loud noises to escape my mouth.

Tom stops and pulls his pants down, his cock springing up the second he does. He then takes it in his hands, pumps it a couple times and proceeds to look at me. "Can I, liebe?"

I nod as he slowly puts it in my throbbing core, making a moan escape my mouth. He starts moving into me as i grip on the sides of the counter, his hips buckling back and forth at a slow pace for me to get used to his size.

We move in sync while his hands come up to my hips for support. Groans, whimpers and little compliments start filling the room as Tom suddenly quickens his pace, making me audibly moan and push my head back.

"Fuck!" i manage to let out as Tom's eyes burn on mine. His gaze and features so strong while he pounds into me. I grab his face and kiss him as I pull him onto me, my back touching the cold granite counter while he leans on my weak body.

As Tom continues to move into me, I'm starting to feel a familiar knot in my stomach. "T-Tom I'm close" I whine, "hold it a little longer, baby. You're doing so good."

My hands, once again, grip the counter. Sweat glistening from both our foreheads, panting escaping our mouths, the loud sound of our skin clapping. Everything is just sending nothing but ecstasy up my body, and as my mind is foggy I hear Tom's raspy voice "do it, schatz. Come for me."

After a few more thrusts, I moan out Tom's name as I release all over him. Waves of pleasure washing over me as I throw my head back while Tom gently kisses my neck to overstimulate me.

"Look at you, screaming my name when just 10 minutes ago you wouldn't even talk to me." He whispers in my ear. I roll my eyes back at his words, "this is the effect I have on you, hm?"

After some slow movements, Tom picks up his pace again, this time harder and more possessively. Groans escape his mouth as I'm a moaning mess under him. In a matter of seconds he releases into me, panting and falling limb on my trembling body, breathing heavily on my shoulder as he peppers it with kisses.

I lift his head with my index finger under his chin and kiss him softly. He slides out of me, cum dripping from my hole.

"Holy shit" I breathe out, Tom sighs and chuckles at the same time as he passes a hand over his forehead to dry some sweat. Admiring his work coming out of me.

"You don't actually think this is it, right?" he looks me in the eyes. "Go upstairs, I'll meet you there in a second, prinzessin." he smirks as I jump off the counter, smiling, and make my way to our bedroom.

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sorry for disappearing guys 😭 sorry if this is kinda ass ngl, but I still hope you liked it lmaoo 🥹 also, I didn't reread this so excuse any spelling mistakes. Make sure to send image requests! I would love to put my spin on your ideas 💕 byee! ♡

[roanniom]

also hi i reread the housewife!reader fic and uhhh eddie’s other ideas…like fucking you in only an apron?! hear me out: EDDIE is wearing the apron. *may be niche but i go feral for men in aprons!!!!!

The Apron

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, dirty talk, slight sub!Eddie but really switch energy from both Eddie and reader, hand job

Eddie does nice things for you all the time, so it isn't surprising to find him in the kitchen taking care of dinner after you called him from work telling him what a shit day you were having.

Hearing you close the front door, Eddie turns from the counter where he's chopping vegetables to give you the biggest grin.

"There you are, beautiful. Come over here and let me get you a glass of wine."

You drop your bag on the floor in awe. Again, not because you're shocked by Eddie doing something so nice but because of the very look of him right now. He's shirtless, wearing just a pair of boxers and tube socks. And your flower print apron.

When he doesn't hear you move further into the apartment, Eddie looks over his shoulder, worried.

"Babe? You okay?"

Not a second later, you're on him. You've got him pressed against the counter, your front pushing into his back. You have to stand up on tip toes to reach, but you plaster kisses to the back and side of his neck once you sweep his long hair out of the way.

"Mmm missed you," is all you manage to mutter against his skin. Eddie is frozen under your grasp, not knowing how to receive being manhandled in this way. It is quite the role reversal. In fact, this exact situation has happened many times, just flipped. With him engulfing you in his arms in the kitchen and grinding against you and whispering dirty words in your ear until you're nothing more than a puddle.

"Missed you, too, sweetheart," Eddie stutters in response. But your next action has him pushing away the knife he'd been holding so he can grip the edge of the countertop instead. You step so that both of your feet are on either side of his right one and push your hips against him, finding friction somewhere between the expanse of his thigh and the curve of his ass.

"Love seeing you make dinner for me," you say into his shoulder before nipping at it. Eddie intakes breath sharply on a chuckle.

"Yeah? You like me taking care of you?" he asks.

"Yeah. I do. It's really hot." Your hands go from his hips to rest over her hands where they grip the counter, interlacing your fingers with his tight ones. You have no idea where this dominance is coming from. Both you and Eddie have always been pretty switch-y, but without the context of the bedroom, this is almost out of character. But Eddie doesn't seem to mind. Not when he's shifting back against your hips and humming.

"If this alone is turning you on, wait till you find out what I'm making you."

"Oh yeah, pretty boy? What are you making me?" you ask, sucking a hickey directly into the juncture of his neck and shoulder.

"That pasta you like," he replies, but his voice is breathier than before. It makes you run your hands up his forearms and under the top of the apron. So you can run your fingernails across his bare chest. He hisses and buckles forward a tiny bit, giving you more to press yourself against.

"Sounds delicious," you whisper in his ear. "But maybe I'm hungry for something else."

Before Eddie can respond, you're pulling him to face you, pinning him back against the counter where you've trapped him since your arrival and grabbing his face to pull him down into a soul sucking kiss.

It's need and dirty, and the sounds that issue from both of you are nothing short of filthy.

This is what you needed. During your awful day at work where you're the assistant to a horrible boss, all you could think about was your lack of importance. Lack of control. You had absolutely no power and no autonomy, especially not in the face of an office full of men who treat you like a piece of meat.

It's not that you want to treat Eddie like a piece of meat, of course. You love him and you respect him. He is everything to you and he takes care of you like you've never been taken care of before. But there is a sort of rush flowing through your veins at the idea of manhandling him. Of getting him worked up and using him for you own (and his own) pleasure after a day of feeling so insignificant. Here, in the warmth of this kitchen, you’re nothing if not significant.

Your tongue plunders his mouth and your hands slide down to his waist, squeezing and gripping and groping. Yet again you step so that your feet are on either side of one of his. Eddie immediately bends at the knee, raising his thigh up to slot between yours and giving you a surface to press against. You're feeling needier by the second, but your urge to stay in control makes it so that you reserve yourself to only a few intentional rolls of your hips.

Eddie's hands are in your hair, on your neck, on your back, on your breasts. He's practically beside himself, preening underneath all of the unexpected attention you are lavishing on him.

When you finally pull back for a more considerable breath of air, Eddie tries to chase your lips, so you keep him held back by your grip on the hair at the nape of his neck. The sting of the pull makes him hiss and he grins at you, almost drunkenly.

"I'm not one to question a good thing, princess, believe me, but what's got you so worked up?" he asks. His voice is low and gravely and it makes you want to swallow his vocal cords. So you do the next best thing, licking up the column of his throat and sucking another bruise just to the left of his adam's apple, making him moan outright.

"You. You in this fucking apron," you grit out finally, all thoughts of gender norms and their uselessness swirling around in your head in flurry of lust and confusion. You pull away from him to take him in once more and end up running a hand down your face. "Oh...fuck."

"What?" Eddie asks before looking down and seeing exactly what you're reacting to - the prominent tenting of said apron directly over his lap. With nothing but the thin fabric of his boxers covering him, his erection is standing proudly, almost begging for your attention.

Eddie laughs at your wide eyed staring.

"Of course my dick is hard. What was it supposed to do with you comin' at me like that? Rubbing that sweet pussy all over me." His words are dismissive, as if he doesn't know the way they seep right to your very core.

"I don't know it's just..." you cock your head to the side and drink in the image of your man, wearing your apron in your shared kitchen, his hard on lifting the fabric with the strength of his desire for you. You run your hand from the top of the garment down to squeeze his length through the fabric. “It’s sexy.”

“Me cooking for you is hot and sexy? I’m never letting you in this kitchen again, baby.” Eddie tries to make his joke, but it comes out distracted as your hand moves beneath the fabric of the apron and under the waistband of his boxers. He’s hot and hard and aching, and you’ve barely done anything. There’s something in the way you’re looking at him that makes him whimper, a sound you definitely don’t miss. It makes you bring your hand back out, and you lift it to his face.

“Spit.”

He does as you order immediately, without even a thought. You return your now lubricated hand back beneath the apron and his boxers. The rub is slick as you start pumping him.

“Fuck,” he says quietly, staring down with hooded eyes. He’s watching the way your fist pumps under the apron, moving the fabric up and down with each tug of his cock.

“Like that, baby?” you all but coo. Eddie nods his head distractedly so you hum. “Yeah? Like it when I take care of you right back?”

The role reversal is heady and you love that he seems just as lost in it as you are. Not that you had really been worried he wouldn’t be into it - it’s Eddie, he’s into almost anything that includes his dick and your body - but you preen with pride that the vibe pushing your buttons today also works for him .

The only thing is he’s kinda quiet. And as someone who is used to a motor mouth Munson, you’re not satisfied with his gasping silence.

So you decide to egg him on.

“You know what I really need from you right now, Eddie?”

“W-what?”

You lean up on your tip toes, gripping Eddie by the back of his neck with your free hand to bring him down closer to you so you can breathe hotly in his ear.

“I really, really need you to cum.”

Eddie lets out a strangled moan as you couple your statement with a pointed swirl of your thumb on his sensitive, leaking slit. His hips rock forward into your hand and you laugh at his eagerness.

"I need you to cum all over my hand. Can you do that for me, Eddie?"

"Y-yeah, I can do that."

"For me, baby?"

"Anything," Eddie says, eyes all desperate and hazy but still finding yours. You shift the apron out of the way finally so you can both watch your hand pumping away at his swollen cock. You gasp dramatically at the sight.

"Oh look at that! It seems like you really do need to cum, huh?" You're teasing him, your voice all taunting. The sight of your smaller hand on his big, throbbing dick, mixed with the sound of your sweet condescension, makes Eddie groan. Teasing was usually his job, but having you do it made all the blood in his body shoot straight to the space between his thighs, even more than before. Which means there was absolutely none left to power his brain, leaving him to babble almost incoherently.

"Need it," he grunts.

"I know, baby. I can feel you throb in my hand. Gonna burst, huh?"

"Oh fuck..."

You lean up again and lick the shell of his ear, making him shiver.

"If you cum right now, how long do you think it'll take for you to get hard again?"

Eddie's brain glitches and he stutters, his fingers turning white against the edge of the countertop.

"I-I...I don't know..."

"You don't know? Hmm?" you ask, letting your free hand slide down from his neck, over his chest and abdomen, over your slick-wet hand where it tugs at him, and down to cup his balls. "Well why don't you hurry up and stain this apron so we can find out. Yeah?"

"Oh my fucking god," Eddie gasps in response, hips bucking into you at this point.

The two of you have done much more depraved shit than this, so he has no idea why he is melting like warm butter in the sun under your touch. But there's something about the confidence of your hand on him. The newness of the gravel and heat in your voice. The promise mixed with the command. It's unlocking a door he hadn't considered before in your dynamic, and out of nowhere he feels close to tears from a simple hand job.

His hazy eyes find yours again and you correctly read the plea in them. The need for you to follow through with the power you currently hold over him. The corner of your mouth quirks up into a grin and you lean forward to suck a dark and sudden mark into his throat before whispering huskily into his ear.

"Cum for me, big boy."

The moan Eddie lets out is otherworldly, filling the space of your small kitchen and echoing throughout your small shared home. His cock pulses in your grip and then he's cumming. Fast and hard. Hot spend shooting out over your fist and onto your apron and your work top. It's so much, all over and you let out a shuddering, pleased laugh.

"There we go. That's it, Eddie. That's it, baby," you encourage, milking his cock for all he's worth, helping him expel the last of his cum so that it dribbles down over your wrist. "Mmm, bet that felt so good, huh? Mmm look so pretty for me."

You're swept into Eddie's arms before you can praise him any further. He crushes your body to his and clings to you, his lips finding yours in a bruising kiss. It knocks the air out of you but fills your lungs nonetheless. The act calls attention to the throbbing between your own thighs, and within moments you find yourself rutting against his thigh almost unconsciously.

Eddie is the first to break the soul sucking kiss, though he does immediately move down to rip open the buttons of your work blouse to litter kisses over your neck, clavicle, and the swells of your breasts.

"Gonna take what you want from me, princess?" he hums gruffly, words made husky from the way his groans had abused his vocal cords. "You already took all my cum."

There it is. Not exactly dominance, but a glimmer of the cheeky confidence that usually colored every sexual encounter between the two of you. You feel your body heat up even further as a rush of adrenaline makes your hips move faster, pushing your clothed pussy over his thigh at a faster rate.

"You've got more to give," you respond breathlessly. Your smirk makes his already dark eyes darken impossibly further. "You've always got more." There. You're not letting go of control that easily. Eddie's answering smirk makes you realize that maybe neither of you need to let go. Maybe the two of you can continue this back and forth, this give and take. This dance of pushing and pulling, breaking each other down and building each other back up until time itself bends around the two of you.

Eddie, to your disappointment, pulls away from you enough to pull the soiled apron off his body. The movement calls attention back to his cock, now tucked back inside his ruined boxers, allowing you to see that he's begun to harden again in a marvelous show of stamina.

"I'll give you anything, baby," Eddie grins. He turns the stove off before hoisting you into the air. Your legs wind around his torso and your hands find his hair so you can mark the remaining pale real estate of his neck and shoulders as he stumbles towards the bedroom.

"Anything."

~*~

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I hope you enjoyed!!! Please let me know and thanks for reading!

[raspberrybesitos]

mistletoe kisses | joel miller x f!reader

Main masterlist

Rating: M - 18+ MDNI

Word count: ~2.6k

Summary: You decorate the Christmas tree with some help from Joel and Ellie.

Warnings: established relationship, post-outbreak, Jackson era, canon divergent bc nothing bad ever happens to them ever 😁, sickening fluff, pet names (honey, darlin’, baby, babydoll, etc), allusions to smut, no mention of hair type/skin color/body type, NO USE OF Y/N.

A/N: surprise!!! i know i said this would be up on the 22nd, but i’ve got something else that will be up on saturday 🤭 and i just couldn’t stop thinking about giving this man a happy ending, including healing and starting new traditions with his family 😔 i wish joel was real 💔 anyway, i hope y’all enjoy! not beta’d, all mistakes are my own. 🏃‍♀️

Divider by @/saradika

Grumbling, he treks behind you, snow crunching beneath his work boots as he cautiously lugs the saw in his hands.

You’re rambling about finding the perfect tree in front of him, Ellie asking a million questions about the tradition.

He hadn’t expected, intended, to find a partner in Jackson. That is until he saw you, lugging a heavy crate of harvested crops across the town, your wagon having been broken. Tommy had told him about you, how you were single.

“She’s sweet as pie, brother. She might be good for you. Real pretty too.” Joel recalls the conversation he had with Tommy before he stormed off to the barn.

His Southern hospitality lay dormant until he saw you struggling. The urge to help creeped up on him. His typical quite observant demeanor tossed out the window as he approached you.

“Need some help?” He asks.

You wipe your brow, huffing before laying your eyes on the broad, handsomely rugged man in front of you - it’s Tommy’s brother. His name escaping you briefly.

You beam. “Oh. Sure. Thank you…” you trail off, slightly off guard by his kind gesture. His large gloved hand extends out towards you.

“Joel,” he finishes your sentence. “Thank you, Joel,” your hand shaking his, giving him your name. It rolls off his tongue with a certain sweetness, sending a flurry of butterflies to swirl in your belly. You knew of him, but knew he was also not a man of many words. You had yet to make acquaintances with him and who you assume is his daughter.

“You’re Tommy’s brother right?” You curiously ask, attempting to make small talk as Joel grunts while picking up the crate.

“Yes ma’am.”

Smiling at his Southern drawl, you run to help him carry one side of the heavy crate, feeling bad letting him do all the work.

“Uh uh, what do you think you’re doin’?” He asks, brow raised as you both stop in your tracks. “Helping you,” you state. He chuckles, shaking his head as he begins to walk.

“I asked if you needed help, darlin’. ‘Sides, what kinda man would I be letting a pretty girl like you carry all this shit by herself? My momma would have me by the head, ‘s for damn sure.”

You open your mouth to detest the notion that women need any assistance from men, but he stops you before you can.

“‘N I know ya don’t need any help from any man. You women are tough as shit, met a lota you over the years. Jus’ wanna help, ‘s all.” He kindly explains. You don’t understand why he wants to help, why he’s approached you specifically.

You’re aware that he’s typically very reserved, not leaving his house if he doesn’t have to. You’ve heard things about his past, and Tommy having confided in you at times, but the world has gone to shit. Who are you to judge? Everyone’s done some horrible stuff to stay alive.

He’s also painfully handsome. Opting to not object to his help and company, you sigh.

“Well, at least let me take some of the vegetables,” you protest, grabbing bunches of carrots. He chuckles quietly.

“Sure thing, darlin’,” he mutters. The nickname catching you both by surprise as a sort of tension falls over you two.

Flashing him a grateful toothy grin, you gather the vegetables in your arms. He gives you a small smirk in return.

“So how are you liking Jackson? I don’t see you ‘round much,” you ask as you begin the trek to the dining hall.

“‘S good. Big change, learnin’ the ropes of patrol. Makin’ sure Ellie’s settlin’ in,” he states. “And Ellie’s…”

“My family,” he says firmly. You nod, internally assuming she’s not his biological daughter.

“Well, I hope you both settle in nicely.” He feels his heart soften at your kindness.

He thought you’d have shied away from him, that you’d have listened to what people are saying about him around town.

But you didn’t. You took to him kindly, warmly.

He’ll be damned if he told Tommy he was right about you, He’d never hear the end of it… but shit, was he right. You were so kind and open-minded, and so beautiful.

The both of you making small talk as you trek to the dining hall, Joel lugging the crate into the kitchen for prep as you follow behind. He places the crate on the floor with a grunt. You drop the carrots in the box afterwards.

Rising to his feet, he sighs as he wipes his hands on his jeans, you copying his actions.

“Thank you again, Joel. I really appreciate it,” you tell him again. “Ain’t no problem, darlin’.”

Silence fills the air, save for the clanging and clattering of utensils in the kitchen.

“Would you… would you like to have a drink sometime? As a, uh, form of repayment for helping me today,” you timidly ask. A small smile breaks out onto Joel’s face.

“You ain’t gotta repay me, darlin’. But I’d love to grab a drink with ya,” he says.

Smiling from ear to ear, you nod happily. “It’s a date,” you say, before slapping a hand over your mouth as your eyes go wide. “I-I’m sorry. It’s not a date, it doesn't have to be. I mean, u-unless you want-,” you nervously ramble before Joel cuts you off.

“‘S a date,” he rasps. A soft smile on both your faces. The rest is history.

He wouldn’t trade that moment for the world, as he’s got you by his side now. He just didn’t expect that drink to lead him to trudging through the woods in the freezing early morning to cut down a tree.

He’d much rather be sleeping right now on his day off, but he can never say no to his girls.

Making your way through the woods, you and Ellie wind through the path while Joel stands and watches. There aren’t many trees, but just enough to scour from.

Not seeing any you like, you continue to walk down the path. “What about this one?” Ellie asks, standing next to a fir no taller than Joel.

Your eyes light up, a sparkly smile illuminating your face.

“It’s perfect. Great find, Ellie!” You yelp, high fiving the girl who’s equally excited.

“Hey, Joel!” Ellie shouts through her hands, her cheeks rosy and nose frosted. He clambers through the trees, saw in hand with his signature scowl. “Find one?”

“Mhmm,” Ellie says while beaming, you nodding in agreement. Joel sighs as he begins to saw down the tree. The trunk’s not very thick, the branches skinny, but still full enough to mimick the times before.

It falls to the snow covered ground, you and Ellie taking a few steps back. Joel stomps over to it, hoisting it up over his shoulder.

“Thank you, honey,” you whisper against his ear before placing a kiss on his patchy beard. His body flushing hot red from heat despite the cold air.

“Sure thing, baby,” he says bashfully, smiling a smile only reserved for you. Lacing his fingers with yours, you walk hand-in-hand back to the house with Ellie rambling ahead of you, vibrating with excitement.

“Joel, could you move it a little to the left?” You ask, hands clasped together over your lips. Joel grunts, red in the face as he shoves the fir to the left.

“A little more, please?”

Another grunt.

“A liiiitttllleee more.”

With a sigh, he shoves it once more.

“Perfect!” You clap. Joel rises to his full height, groaning as his bones crack and ache. You stride to him, leaning in for a kiss.

He could never stay annoyed at you.

“Thank you, honey,” you mutter with a dopey grin. Joel mirrors your expression, wrapping his hands around your waist and pressing his lips against yours. A saccharine kiss, your fingers curling in his grays.

His heart flutters as you sigh into him, your contentment radiating through your chest and into his soul.

When the fuck did his heart ever flutter?

“You guys gonna do that all fucking day or what?!” Ellie shouts, cutting ribbon and twine for the decorations.

You both startle at the sound of her voice, jumping in Joel’s arms. Joel glares at Ellie as laughter bubbles over your lips.

“Sorry, Ellie,” you call out. “Seriously, thank you, honey,” you tell Joel with a pat on his broad chest.

“No problem, darlin’,” he says softly with a swift kiss to your forehead before releasing you from his grasp. Joel strides into the kitchen to heat up some milk, with you rushing over to Ellie who sits at the dining table with an array of supplies.

You’re so good with Ellie, so patient with her while gently explaining how to string the dried oranges on the twine. She gets the hang of it pretty easily, holding it up and beaming with pride. Your giddiness mirroring hers, praising her as you waltz into the kitchen with Joel.

Placing a chaste kiss to his cheek, you flit around him as you pop some kernels in a hot pan. Transforming them into popcorn to make more garlands, and working in comfortable silence alongside each other.

You dump the popcorn into a bowl, you place a tender kiss on his shoulder before returning to Ellie.

Joel feels warm, and it’s not from the heat of the stove.

He preps mugs of hot chocolate for all of you, the chocolate powder stale but still good - the novelty of the gesture still there and just as sweet.

Padding into the living room, the sight of you two making decorations at the table and placing them on the tree tugs at Joel’s heart strings. Remembering how he’d help Sarah decorate their tree every year. Swallowing his grief, he allows himself to enjoy this moment while remembering his daughter.

That’s something you’re teaching him - not to take moments, things, people for granted.

Despite the pain, he knows he’ll confide in you later tonight about it when you’re alone. He sets the mugs on the table, making you pop your head up to flash him a dazzling smile.

“Thank you, honey.”

“‘Course, baby,” he says with a wink. Your smile grows wider, Ellie looking up and rolling her eyes. She playfully gags, Joel smacking his lips as his smile morphs into a scowl.

“Knock it off, kid,” he scolds.

“You knock it off, old man. We’re working here, and you keep distracting my partner,” she retorts. He scoffs, rolling his eyes. You can’t help, but laugh at their banter.

“Sorry, Ellie. I promise I’m listening,” your laughter dissolving into giggles. Joel rolls his eyes before getting a fire going in the fireplace.

Standing back and taking in the scene playing out in front of him. Hot chocolate, a tree, decorations being strung upon it - how is this possible? What did he do to deserve this?

He shakes the thought from his head, not questioning the good thing – the very good thing – in front of him. Instead, he enjoys watching his girls flit around the tree.

Ellie excitedly attempts to place the makeshift star on the tree that she crafted out of some stray branches and extra paper she had in her sketch pad.

She can’t reach, being significantly shorter than the tree. Huffing in defeat, she shoots you a look - both of you thinking the same thing. She whips around, paper star in hand.

“Joel, wanna do the honors?” She asks, holding out the star. Joel swallows thickly, never having thought he’d be doing this again.

“Sure,” he softly says, taking the star from Ellie and setting it atop the tree. The three of you stand back, admiring your hard work in silence, as you tightly wrap your arms around Joel’s middle. He holds you tighter.

“Looks good,” he mumbles. You nod, soft smile on your face.

“Hell yeah, it does!” Ellie giddily yells before cutting off her next thought. “No way, is that hot chocolate?!” She shouts, rushing to the table to grab a mug.

“Yeah, careful kid, it’s still hot,” Joel warns, still wound up in your arms. Ellie blows caution to the wind as she gulps it down.

“Ellie, slow down! You’re gonna get a stomachache,” you scold lightly. “It’s hot chocolate! When the hell am I ever gonna come across this again?!”

“I’ll find some more, jus’ slow down! Gonna be all fuckin’ hopped up on sugar,” Joel begrudgingly says. Rolling her eyes, she glances at the clock. Her eyes bug out of her head.

“Shit! I told Cat I’d meet her at 6!” She shouts before gulping down the rest of her hot chocolate, slamming the mug on the table.

“Be back later!” She says, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

“Be back by 9!” Joel shouts. “Mhmm,” her tone dismissive. “I mean it, Ellie,” he warns.

“Sure thing, old man!” She says before reaching for the doorknob. “Ellie, 9 o’clock, okay?” You chime in, asking.

She turns around, taking in the both of you. “Okay,” she says with another roll of her eyes and an exasperated sigh before heading out the door. It slams shut, making you and Joel wince.

Joel rolls his eyes. “Girl don’t listen,” rubbing his face as he grumbles.

“She’s just excited, can you blame her? Besides, she’s safe here, Joel,” you say, comfortingly rubbing your hands up and down his broad flannel-covered chest.

“I know. Just still getting used to all this,” he rasps. The two of you still stand in the doorway, wrapped up in one another before a grin breaks out on your face.

“Oh, could you help me with one more thing?” You beam at him. His brow quirks up in confusion. “‘Course, baby. What do ya need?”

You unravel yourself from his embrace, padding into the kitchen. He hears you clambering, his curiosity peaking. You return with something behind your back, smiling wider now.

Whipping the sprig of mistletoe from behind your back, you hold it above your head. His features softening.

Joel immediately recognizes what you’re holding, beaming at your antics.

“Could you help me hang this up please?” You ask, drawing out the last syllable, batting your lashes at him with a sly smirk.

“Y’know, if ya wanted a kiss, all ya gotta do is ask, babydoll,” he rasps as he takes it from you, not missing the chance to place a teasing kiss on your cheek. Waves of heat run through you from head to toe.

Joel hangs the mistletoe with ease on a nail that’s been conveniently placed above the kitchen entryway, right where you’re both standing.

You must’ve put it up there when he was on patrol a few days ago.

The red ribbon you tied around the plant stands out against the dark framing, the fire crackles in the background and illuminates the house.

“Well would ya look at that,” his voice low and husky as he locks his gaze with yours. A goofy grin on your face. “Huh. Guess you gotta kiss me now.”

“Don’t need mistletoe for that, babydoll,” he whispers. The two of you connect your lips with each other’s. Sighing into him, you finally have a moment alone with him today. You card your fingers through his hair, a satisfied groan escapes him.

You pull away breathlessly, both yours and Joel’s eyes heavy and glazed over.

“Ya know… Ellie won’t be back til 9. We’ve got some time left,” you teasingly whisper in his ear while he places a kiss to your neck.

“Lead the way, darlin,” he rasps, the two of you rushing upstairs.

just felt like writing some tooth rotting fluff for my Joely, i love him sm 😔

i hope y’all enjoyed! 🫶🏼 thank you for reading 🩷

tag list: @gracieheartspedro @sapphic-gardn @undrthelights @javierpena-inatacvest @nostalxgic @party-hearses @mandoisapunk @tinygarbage @bastardmandennis @janaispunk @persephone-girl @harriedandharassed @its-nebuleuse

[joelslastofus]

[SUMMARY: After roughly taking your virginity, Joel keeps his promise in showing you new things.]

“You have any idea how many times I’ve fought myself to pull out?”

Part 3

Smut

It had been a few weeks now since you so unexpectedly lost your virginity to Joel. The two of you found yourselves having sex any chance you could and anywhere you could. Joel ached to feel himself in you at least once a day as you yearned for him. Ellie knew something was up as she would catch Joel staring at you when you weren’t paying attention like he was in that very moment. Through the window he could see you planting more in the garden you made, he could tell you really enjoyed growing vegetables.

“Why don’t you just talk to her?” Ellie chuckled sitting beside Joel.

“Huh?” Joel looked over at her with a raised brow.

“You keep staring at her, why don’t you say something, don’t just watch her like a creep” Ellie pulled out a comic book and began flipping the pages. Joel held back a smile, if only she knew just how aquatinted the two of you already were with one another.

“You know what Ellie, I think I will do that” Ellie shrugged just as you walked inside feeling like you had just walked into the middle of something.

“What are you guys doing?” You asked awkwardly as Ellie stood up.

“Well I was gonna go take a walk around the cabin, maybe sit up on a tree and read” she made her way behind you quickly turning back to Joel giving him a wink. He couldn’t help but look down and smirk as Ellie walked out slamming the door shut.

“Don’t go too far!” You yelled out to her.

“Did you say something to her about us?” You asked curiously.

“Of course not” he chuckled as he stood up.

“So what was that all about?”

“Ellie caught me staring you, says im kinda obvious that I have a thing for you” he smirked pulling you against his body.

“You were staring at me?” You smiled looking up at him.

“Little bit” he leaned in and took your lips with his passionately. You moaned feeling him close before quickly pushing yourself back.

“She can come back any minute, Joel”

“I think she wanted to give us some time..” he raised his brows with excitement before conintuing to kiss you feeling him push you towards his bed.

“Are you sure?” You whispered in between kisses, he unbuttoned your pants pushing them off you.

“I wanna show you somethin’” he began to swirl his tongue beneath your earlobe making you moan.

“That feel good?” He whispered.

“Mhm” you nodded. Slowly he pulled back looking down at you, his hands on your hips he guided you to sit down on the bed.

“Lay back” you did as he asked and watched as he unbuttoned his shirt throwing it to the side leaving him in a sleeveless white undershirt. Your hips slightly squirmed at the sight of his bare arms, you could already feel yourself aroused.

Joel leaned over you with his hands by your head, your legs eager to pull him in you.

“Not yet darlin’” he whispered in a way that made you shiver.

“Why not?” You asked with a slight look of desperation making him chuckle. Without responding he bought himself down to his knees at the edge of the bed and unexpectedly pulled your legs toward him.

“What are you doing?” You asked confused as you noticed he placed his face between your legs. His dark eyes met yours as you felt the warmth of his breath against your inner thigh.

“I’m gonna make you cum, baby” and just like that you felt his tongue slide down your slit making you gasp. Parting your lips with his tongue he began to slowly tease your clit. Joel was waiting for the perfect time to taste you not wanting to be rushed. Your legs sitting on his shoulders, his hands squeezing your thighs as he watched you feel his tongue devour you. You’ve had women tell you how good this can feel if a man knew what he was doing and you could definitely say Joel knew exactly what he was doing. Flicking his tongue, you moaned unexpectedly reaching down driving your fingers through his curls with the urge to somehow pull him closer to you.

“Oh yes…” closing your eyes you felt him begin to suck on your clit. He moaned watching you lost in pleasure, his moan making you feel a vibration that only intensified the sensation on your clit. Not taking his eyes off you he reached his hand up beneath your shirt, grabbing your breast in the palm of his hand before teasing your nipple. Joel was a man that loved to provide the pleasure to a woman, watching you cum could get him off alone.

“Just like that” you moaned as his other hand found your other breast now teasing that nipple. The triple sensation only making you squirm uncontrollably, your hips jerking towards his face wanting more. He knew you were about to cum with how you grabbed onto him, that always seemed to give it away, holding onto him for dear life. Flicking his tongue and fingers on your nipples faster he waited for what he knew was seconds away. Arching your back you moaned in release practically squeezing his head with your thighs until your body relaxed.

Out of breath you lay flat for a moment until you felt Joel pull you up to your feet. Quickly he picked you up sitting you on a desk as you grabbed onto him still in a daze.

“That was…”you whispered looking up at him noticing his beard filled with your cum as he placed himself between your legs.

“Oh-you have-“ your finger went on to touch his face but he quickly interrupted you with the sudden feel of him sliding in you.

“Shit-“ he spoke hoarsely feeling how wet you were. Joel wasted no time moving in a rythm that quickly built up the tingly sensation in the pit of your stomach…only this time it was different. It felt a little stronger than you had ever felt before, each stroke bring it closer. He moved faster not breaking eye contact as you felt something intense take over.

“Oh my god, Joel-“ his breathing was loud and heavy as he continued thrusting his hips when you got the sudden urge to push him away, you screamed.

“St-stop-“ you cried out as he pulled out when you uncontrollably squirted on him taking him by surprise. He watched in awe as your body convulsed, your legs shaking as you squirted once more. Joel catching your legs from slipping off the desk as you held onto the table.

“J-Joel” your voice trembled still feeling the waves run through your body, you had never felt anything like it.

“I’m sorry” you panted confused and slightly embarrassed with what had just happened making him quickly look up at you. Pulling your body towards him he slid himself back in and grabbed your face with his two hands making you look at him.

“Don’t be,” Whatever had just happened, you could see it turned him on even more. He continued like he had never stopped. His eyes focused on you while he moved vigorously as you whimpered feeling it begin to build up all over again. Almost feeling like you couldn’t handle it, it was all happening so fast.

You never thought anything else could feel better than when he made you cum but this…this took over every nerve in your body in a way you never expected.

“Oh god-it’s gonna happen again” you cried out as Joel pulled out once more and felt you squirt on him. His hands entangled in your hair, he leaned his forehead on yours as you held onto him.

”That’s it baby, that’s how I want you.” He whispered but you could barely speak. Kissing your shoulder and your neck, your arms wrapped around him as he buried himself in you once more. He moaned in your ear in a way you hadn’t heard before, Joel knew he was about to cum but feeling you pulsating around him he lost complete control. His body moving too fast for you to keep up, you moaned digging your nails into his back when he suddenly stopped and grunted harshly.

“Fuck-“ he choked out. You gasped feeling his heart pounding against your chest, his hips jerking once more as his body slumped against yours.

“Joel?” You whispered confused as he panted still hiding his face against your neck. His release taking so much out of him he held still. Slowly he lifted his face up noticing you puzzled expression, yet he didn’t say a word. Instead he kissed you passionately… his cock still throbbing inside you.

“You alright?” He whispered knowing how new this was for you, he didn’t mean for this to happen like this. You nodded as he leaned his lips on your cheek, slowly he slipped out of you and turned away grabbing a towel. Silently you got on your feet looking down at the mess that was made, before you had even finished cleaning yourself up Joel walked out slamming the door shut.

“Joel?!” You called out for him quickly dressing yourself, luckily as soon as you ran out he hadn’t gone far.

“You’re doing this again?!” You yelled out to him making him turn to you.

“First you take my virginity and walk off like an asshole and now you-“ you found yourself struggling to say the words out loud.

“You..you came in me and that’s it? You walk away again with nothing to say?”

“I lost control, shouldn’t have happened” he responded bluntly without looking at you directly.

“So that’s it, you lost control. Joel, what if I get pregnant? ” his eyes quickly found yours with

your straightforward question. You began to sarcastically laugh as he remained silent.

“Is this what you do? Go around and screw women risking getting them pregnant and acting like nothing-“

“No” he cut you off calmly.

“Or did you think I was too stupid to not know what could happen if you did that? Which one is it-“

“No” he flared his nostrils trying to calm himself.

“Oh no, maybe it was-“ he suddenly grabbed you pushing you against the wall.

“You have any idea how many times Ive fought myself to pull out? How many times I just wanted to keep you close?” His words and aggressiveness catching you off guard.

“Do you have any idea-“ he cut himself off realizing a part of him selfishly did it only thinking about what he was starting to feel for you. A part of him realizing this wasn’t just sex.

“I’m sorry” he whispered with a hint of guilt in his eyes, his hands on your waist gently squeezing you. He knew this was all new to you and confusing and the last thing he wanted to do was complicate anything.

“I don’t wanna lose you” he suddenly blurt out. Joel had never felt this way about a woman so fast, he swore he never would again but something in him took over…something he couldn’t shake off no matter how hard he tried.

“Joel..”you whispered gently placing your hand on his face when Ellie appeared clearing her throat, yet this time he didn’t pull away, he didn’t even look away from you.

“Shit..Ellie saw-“

“So what. Let her see” his response surprising you.

“I’m not hiding this anymore, not from her..not from myself. You hear me?” You nodded silently, Joel left you speechless as Ellie quietly walked by and into the cabin. Looking behind you at Ellie, Joel turned your face back to him and kissed you, you could feel his eagerness, you could feel how he felt for you. Excitement rushed through you yet with hesitation and Joel sensed it but he promised himself he would be more open with you with ease.

“Hey” he whispered tilting your face up.

“I won’t do that again” you looked at him pressing your lips together….secretly wanting him to do so again.

[sansaorgana]

I’ve never understood why we shoot off fireworks in the USA for the 4th, I just feel like it could trigger some of our veterans and it makes me feel awful! Could you write something like this with Buck?

hello! 💖 in my country we only shoot them on new year's eve but since I own two cats, I hate them 😡 one of my cats is so terrified each time that he literally has spasms 😥 the older he gets, the more worried I am each new year's eve tbh 😐 anyway, thank you for your request! 🎆 I was actually thinking of something like this with Buck!

I had to close my requests for now because I got so many 🙏🏻

It was the first Independence Day after the war and you were excited that you would celebrate it with your husband for the first time in two years. Especially now, after the victory, it felt more special than ever.

You decided to throw a barbecue for your befriended neighbours and you had been preparing the house and the garden for the whole week – putting up decorations with Buck’s help and cleaning everything. In the last two days you had also been busy with cooking meals and preparing salads while Buck had been supplying your fridge with everything needed for the barbecue – all sorts of meat, vegetables and sodas.

The only thing you hadn’t bought were the fireworks. You wanted to save some money, especially after hearing that different neighbours down the street were preparing a real show anyway. Surprisingly, Buck had agreed to that pretty quickly although you had expected him to try to convince you to get your own fireworks. Not because he had ever been a big fan of them but he never liked it when you were using the “saving money” argument. Whenever you would use it in different situations – like deciding whether to buy a dress or not – he would say “if it makes you happy, we can afford that”. And he knew very well that this barbecue party was making you happy.

However, you didn’t ask about it because it didn’t seem to be significant enough and you completely forgot about it anyway, too busy with all the preparations.

The barbecue started in the afternoon and the weather was beautiful on that day – clear, blue skies above you, giving you a perfect view of the fireworks here and there in the distance. You were handing the bottles of beer and coke to the guests while Buck was in charge of the barbecue when one of the neighbours asked a question that made you freeze.

“Damn, it’s like back there again, is it not?” He chuckled at Buck.

His name was Frank and he had been to Europe as well but not as a pilot. He was obviously referring to the fireworks in the background as he tried to turn it into a joke but his wife Helen hissed at him.

You suddenly realised that the sound of fireworks was not the same to everyone and you looked at your husband, worried. He might have seemed to be pretty alright after the horrors he had endured but you knew him better than everyone else and you knew. You knew about his nightmares and panic attacks. They were rare but they still were happening, sometimes triggered by the things you had never thought of before as threatening. Like with the fireworks.

“I don’t pay attention to them,” Buck gave Frank a kind smile. “My brain just shuts the sound off at this point,” he explained and he seemed to be genuine in his answer, which made you sigh in relief.

You went back to handing out the sodas and glanced at the watch on your hand. It was half an hour until the fireworks show promised by the neighbours living down the street.

When everyone had a bottle of their chosen beverage already, you joined your husband’s side to help him with the meat and vegetables. Rubbing his arm softly and laughing at the jokes being told by the others, you felt happy and satisfied with your life. Finally, after such a long time, it was back to normal, you thought. Well, nearly.

Everyone was sitting by the table in your garden and talking when you realised you had forgotten to bring mustard and ketchup.

“I’ll get it,” Buck smiled at you and stood up.

“Grab me a can of coke from the fridge, too, darling,” you told him and he nodded before disappearing inside the house.

A short moment later, the fireworks show started. Your neighbours living down the street had to spend a real fortune on it because the fireworks were many and very, very loud. You gasped and watched in awe as others stood up and cheered.

You, Helen and Frank were the only ones left sitting by the table. From the corner of your eye, you spotted that Frank’s face changed. He was no longer smiling and his skin lost some of its colour. Helen was squeezing his shaky hands and whispering something to him.

A very loud firework made you flinch while others screamed out of joy and Frank jumped on his seat. You stood up rapidly, realising that Buck hadn’t come back from the house yet.

“Helen, listen,” you leaned in to talk to her despite the noise. “You can go inside with Frank, it’s okay,” you assured her.

“Thank you,” she mouthed out with gratitude in her eyes before urging him to stand up and follow her inside.

You, however, weren’t waiting for them because you were rushing to the house yourself. You froze at the sight of your husband sitting by the kitchen table and hiding his face in his shaky hands. In fact, his whole body trembled and there was a broken bottle of mustard in the middle of the floor. He had to drop it when the fireworks show started.

Your heart broke at the sight. Your Buck was the strongest and the bravest man you knew. You would always go to him when you needed comfort or help because he was so capable of making everything – everything – better. He was good at fixing things in the physical sense but he was also always comforting you with his kindness and calm nature. He would never panic about anything and you had always admired him for that.

In moments like this, you felt helpless because you couldn’t take his pain away. And if you could, you would. He had already suffered so much that from now on, you’d rather suffer for him. But you were also angry – angry at the war for taking place and breaking him so much.

“Darling…” You started slowly and crouched down in front of him, carefully, trying not to startle him. He didn’t seem to acknowledge your presence, though. “Darling…” You repeated and put your hands on his trembling thighs.

He flinched and you shushed him while tears streamed down your cheeks. 

“Shh, shh, baby, it’s me, it’s okay, you’re home,” you tried to soothe him. “You’re with me now, you’re safe,” you assured but it was not working.

You took a deep breath in and moved up now, to stand above him. You put your hands on Buck’s ears, trying to shield him away from the noise coming from the outside. And then, gently, you pulled his face closer to you and pressed it to your tummy. You leaned in to kiss the top of his head and whisper sweet nothings that were supposed to calm him down and after a while it seemed to be working. You could feel his muscles relaxing and eventually he stopped hiding his face in his hands and wrapped his arms around your waist instead, clinging to you like a little boy.

When the fireworks show stopped and it was quiet again, you moved your hands away from Buck’s ears and began to rub his back soothingly instead.

“It’s alright now, baby, you’re home with me. I won’t let anything bad happen to you,” you promised in a whisper, sniffing back your own tears.

Buck looked up at you with teary eyes and you cupped his face to wipe his tears off of his cheeks with your thumbs. You let your fingers trace his scars and your lower lip trembled. Not that you minded those scars – not at all – but they were yet another reminder of what horrors he had been through. And he was just a man – as weak and scared as everyone else; only forced to be brave.

You understood now why he was scared of having a son with you one day. He was scared of another war coming sooner or later and he was scared of his own child going through what he had gone through.

You feared that, too. And you didn’t even fully know what had happened in Europe. Only the men who had been there knew. Women – especially those who had stayed back home – they would never understand.

“Are you back with me now, my love?” You asked, gently. Buck nodded after a while of hesitation.

“Sorry ‘bout the mustard,” he mumbled out and you chuckled as you shook your head.

“It doesn’t matter, darling,” you assured him.

But you were grateful that Buck’s panic attacks were like that. Perhaps it was wrong to be grateful for such things but you had heard enough stories of triggered men who would do much worse things while having panic attacks.

“I’m sorry…” He breathed out as fresh tears pricked his eyes.

“Don’t,” you interrupted him as you crouched down again and held his hands now to squeeze them tight. “Don’t, Gale, please, don’t ever apologise for that,” you pleaded and he looked down.

“I didn’t expect them to be so loud and so… Close. I… I suddenly wasn’t in our kitchen anymore but back in the air, up in the fort and the Germans were shooting at us and I was trying to focus on flying but deep down I was just… I was just praying to get back home to you and all I could see was your face when they tell you I’m dead and…” He started and you pursed your lips to stop your own tears from falling.

“I know, baby, I know. But it’s over now, yes? You’re back home with me, safe and sound,” you reminded him and leaned in to place a kiss upon one of his hands.

You heard footsteps behind you. It was Helen peeking inside shyly. You turned around to shake your head at her and she gave you an understanding look before walking out without a word.

“Let’s clean up now, yes?” You let go of Buck’s hands and fixed your hair before standing up clumsily.

You occupied yourself with cleaning the mess from the broken mustard bottle and Buck washed his face with cold water in the kitchen sink. You handed him some of the paper towels you were using so he could dry his face.

“You’ve missed the fireworks show because of me,” he pointed out.

“God damn those fireworks shows, Buck!” You exclaimed. “God damn them. I don’t want to see any ever again. I’m sorry that I didn't think that it would… That it would scare you like that,” you apologised.

“Well, it takes time to come to terms with the fact that your husband is a coward now,” Buck sighed and so did you, while throwing the used paper towels into the trash bin aggressively.

“My husband is not a coward and has never been. However, that self-pity attitude is new to me,” you told him and he turned his head around to look at you. “My husband is the bravest man I know,” you added. “He is my hero. And I don’t allow you to talk about him this way, you hear me? I have defended him from all the women in town telling me that men in the captive camps were no real heroes and I will defend him from you, too, when you’re so mean to him, Buck, I mean it.”

“Stop, or I’ll cry again,” he shook his head and sniffled.

There was a hint of a smile on his face and it made you grin as well before you approached him and wrapped your arms around him to hug him tight.

“I love my wife, too. The most in the whole wide world,” he assured you and hugged you back while pressing his lips to the top of your head but you could still understand his words. “I wasn’t brave, really, I wasn’t. I just did everything it took to come back to you.”

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

[justporo]

A Night of Staying In

After all the doom and gloom in other writing I really needed some cutesy fluff to feel myself again - and also to give Astarion and Tav a break.

Summary: So have Tav and Astarion just enjoying a cozy night in - also Astarion gets a carrot hurled at his face.

Pairing: Astarion/GN!Tav Warnings: Mention of sex, a carrot gets thrown and then murdered Wordcount: 2,2k

Delicious smells of slowly cooking meats and vegetables, spices and a forgotten mint tea were wafting through the kitchen of your cozy little townhouse.

You were bustling around the well-equipped kitchen. The apron you were wearing was full of stains and its pockets full of cooking utensils – even a half-full spoon absent-mindedly tugged away in one of them. It was slowly leaking through the linen with something on it that looked like blood – but was simply a tomatoey sauce. Your hair was messily put up in a bun, but several strands of hair had fallen out of it and you looked only so far from a mental breakdown.

At the kitchen table Astarion was sitting with a lantern, bowing over an embroidery project. He had the very bright lantern you’d gifted him specifically for this purpose directly next to him, but he was still squinting at his work and holding it so close his nose was almost touching the fabric. He looked a lot less demented than you but still very absent-minded.

Fabrics and threads were strewn all about the wooden table. Different needles were glinting everywhere on it too. One could only hope that those would be remembered at some point – preferably before someone stuck them in their fingers.

Next to him were also laying some loose papers, a feather and an ink pot with lots of writing that was then crossed out again and also some small little doodles on the corners – one for whatever reason happened to be a goose with a knife in its beak.

You had several pots on the iron stove and something about to go in the oven as well. Critically you were moving around between all of these things, clattering with copper pot lids, jars of ingredients and spoons to try the food (always in the same pattern: grabbing a new spoon, trying something, putting the spoon in the dish bowl full of dirty water – then having to grab a new spoon). You had some potatoes boiling and in another pot you had been cooking a mixture of vegetables and beef for quite some time. You wanted to recreate a recipe of cottage pie that you had once tried many years ago in a tavern and had kept reappearing in your dreams. And now you finally had the kitchen and the tools to try and cook it yourself!

But it seemed impossible to get it right, this already being your fourth attempt this week. The vampire had already been moaning that you had basically force-fed him the meal because you had no way of eating that much pie on your own. It was not, that the finished pies hadn’t tasted well, but they just weren’t like you remembered. But you started to think that it might be your memory that was tricking you and not your cooking skills.

You went to try the pie filling again after adding some more spices and dash more red wine (directly from your goblet because you didn’t seem to remember where you put the bottle).

As soon as the spoonful hit your tongue you knew you had done it – finally.

You shrieked and immediately heard another shriek behind you in reply. You turned around to Astarion with glee and saw how the vampire was staring at you angrily and shaking his hand. It didn’t take a genius to figure out your sudden excitement had caused him to stab himself with his needle.

“Darling, can you maybe not scream like a dying goblin, I was concentrating!”, he hissed at you. Your joy evaporated at his flare of anger – so you turned around again, grabbed a left over half of carrot and threw it at Astarion – and maybe a bit more forceful than would have been necessary.

But he was still a rogue and dodged the vegetable easily. It flew against one of the cabinets and then to the ground. There it stayed until Scratch came into the kitchen, drawn there by the sudden noises. The dog sniffed at the piece of vegetable, then grabbed it and went off again.

“Oh really, are we at the ‘I throw stuff at my lover’ point of our relationship now, love?”, Astarion replied to your responsive outburst of anger with a raised eyebrow. “Am I going to have to sleep on the sofa next?”, he continued sassily.

Your hand itched to grab more produce – there were some potatoes still laying around and they made for excellent improvised throwing weapons. But you saw the smirk that played around the vampire’s lips. So you settled for a verbal rebuttal.

“Don’t be such a prick and you can keep sleeping inside”, you said and flipped him off. Then you turned around again to your cooking and grabbed – yet another – spoon and scooped up some of the filling. The vampire mumbled something under his breath about he wouldn’t have to be a prick if you didn’t make him prick himself.

“Oh, that would be so gracious of you, my dear lady, if I was still allowed in your shining presence”, Astarion then said loudly as you were busy with the pots. The tone still very sassy but you heard the playfulness in it now and knew he was now only teasing.

You went over to him, with one hand under the spoon full of hot goodness that immediately started dripping and burning your hand. You winced but kept going.

“Here, try this – I think I got it now”, you said as you stood in front of Astarion who had put down his needlework for the time being. He threw you a pained look: “Love, if you keep feeding me this I think I might actually start to get a pot belly.”

You snorted at him and eyed what you could see of his upper body. “Pretty sure, you will never have to worry about this kind of thing. Now. Try. It”, you answered and insistingly came closer with the spoon.

Astarion sighed, gave you another suffering look and then let himself be fed. His doubtful expression quickly changed to what you interpreted as pleasantly surprised.

“Alright, I take everything back, that was well worth the scream of enlightenment, my sweet. That tastes wonderful”, the vampire said and grinned at you.

“See, wasn’t so hard, was it”, you said and gave him a quick peck on the lips as you could see his face changing to annoyance once more at your petty remark.

You threw the spoon in the dish bowl and rubbed your hands on your apron and started to get everything ready for the final step of the recipe. Meanwhile you said to Astarion: “So, darling, could you write down the following: one and a half cups of red wine and three instead of two sprigs of thyme and just loads of black pepper.”

“Of course, my darling chef”, Astarion replied cheerfully and grabbed the feather and papers laying next to him to write it down. “Any other changes?”

“No, this will be it”, you responded and happily clapped your hands before you put your filling in a cast iron pan, mashed and seasoned the potatoes and then put them down as the topping of your pie. The final touch was some hearty cheese sprinkled on top. Then you put it all in the oven.

In the meantime, you heard the feather scratching over the paper.

“What are you doing, Astarion?”, you asked as you took off the oven mitts from pushing the pan in to cook.

“Just putting the recipe in clean writing for you, my heart”, the vampire replied as he kept looking through older versions and notes on the papers. Brows furrowed as he was concentrating on it.

“That’s sweet, love, thank you”, you said to him but he didn’t reply and probably hadn’t even noticed. Of course – if you said something actually nice you fell on deaf ears.

So you decided to thank him with another gesture. You grabbed another goblet to pour your vampire a cup of wine but as you looked around to find the opened bottle you saw that it had been next to Astarion with an already filled cup all along.

You gave up and sat down across the table with your own cup of wine as Astarion finished up writing. You put one leg up on the bench and hugged it to your chest, head on top of the knee and watched the pale elf.

“Here you go, my sweet”, the vampire exclaimed cheerfully after a few more moments and handed you the finished recipe that was now written cleanly in his neat and beautiful handwriting. ‘Tav’s specialty cottage pie’ stood atop the page and next to it was a little doodle of some steaming hot pie.

You smiled broadly at Astarion: “Thank you, darling.” Then you shortly leaned on the table, almost climbing over it to give him a kiss while carefully trying to avoid the needles.

“Do you sometimes wonder how we ended up like this?”, you softly asked him after you had read through the finished recipe.

“Like what?”

“Well, like this – all domestic. I’m cooking, you’re embroidering, we’re bickering like an old married couple, drinking wine and just enjoying a cozy night in instead of wreaking havoc somewhere out there”, you said and waved vaguely in the direction of the city beyond the walls of your home. Then you took another sip of wine.

“Let’s be honest with ourselves, we’ve been bickering like that from the moment we met”, Astarion answered and looked at you sternly. You shrugged in agreement.

“As for the rest – well, are you enjoying the way we spend our nights like this sometimes? Because if you’re bored-“

“No no, I’m enjoying this an awful lot. It’s just – this is somehow the most unlike turn of events don’t you think? Like, I sometimes can’t believe we actually ended up in the version where we’ll live happily ever after”, you said and cradled your face in your hand not currently holding a cup of wine.

At your words a warm and adoring smile crept onto Astarion’s face.

“Are you though?”, you asked then.

“Hm?”

“Are you enjoying these kinds of nights?”, you asked Astarion again and lifted your head up to look straight at him.

The vampire looked at you, smile still playing around his lips: “Well, my love, after two hundred years full of godsdamned shit I am enjoying this sort of mundanity quite a lot. And I enjoy it even more because I get to spend it with you. I might even enjoy doing the dishes with you later on – unless you don’t splash me like last time.”

You smiled at him too now, broadly – feeling incredibly lucky that you had indeed taken all the right turns that had led you here, to this: sitting at this kitchen table with the love of your life, talking about doing the dishes.

“But if we ever get bored, my sweet, I have quite a lot of ideas on how to spice things up”, Astarion continued afterwards. The smile morphed into a lewd smirk and his red eyes sparkled mischievously: “For example, I could dramatically throw everything on this table to the ground, rip all your clothes off and have my way with you on this table until you forget your own name.”

His voice had suddenly become deep and smooth like dark molten chocolate. You bit your bottom lip as the mental image of his words set in and you just stared into his eyes point blank. Astarion still looked at you, not breaking eye contact, and his teasing smirk only growing.

“Nah”, you made after some more moments, “not tonight. My cottage pie would burn.” Your tone was matter-of-fact and you drank some more of your wine while still looking into the vampire’s eyes.

Then you both broke down laughing. So much so that you had to wipe tears from your eyes by the end and Astarion had his face buried in one of his hands while silent fits of laughter still shook through him.

“Alright”, he said and bit his lip, one of his fangs showing adorably as if he was a cat, “I’ll write it down for another date night then.” You broke out laughing again.

Until you could actually smell your food burning. With an “oh shit” you jumped up and pulled the pan out of the oven – you had saved it just in time.

You got out some plates and forks, and put some generous servings onto them. As you turned around your gaze fell onto the table full of Astarion’s embroidery supplies. Astarion saw your look, then waved it off, dismissing it.

He grabbed one of the filled plates from you and grabbed your then free hand to lead you to the living room. Scratch was there laying on his designated blanket, chewing on his favourite ball. Some telltale orange spots telling the tale of the fallen carrot.

You settled down on your sofa with your food – you swinging your legs over Astarion’s and getting cozy.

And this is where you stayed: eating until you felt like your belly might burst, joking until you were crying again, talking until you got so tired you almost drifted off into dreaming right then and there. And when you had went to bed: holding each other until you woke up in the other’s arms again.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

quaso tier list

I noticed that croissants are a trendy food now…? There’s many different variations of it on social media and many eateries doing their own creative spin on it. I thought it would be funny to make a croissant tier list (from Rollo's perspective) on what does or does not qualify as a "real" croissant.

This is dedicated to you, quaso king 🥐

DISCLAIMER: This is just for fun and in no way reflects my own opinions!! I don't mean to be rude or to talk down to the establishments who make and/or serve any of the croissants pictured here. I think they should make whatever they want to (get your coin) and salute them for their innovation! o_o)7

And now, without further ado...

The reasoning (again, with Rollo's perspective in mind):

"as god intended" = Rollo has very conservative and plain tastes, so I firmly believe he would place a normal ass croissant in the top tier and nothing else.

"socially acceptable but still sinful" = In this tier are common variations of the regular croissant but have some addition(s) that Rollo may deem "too much". This may include sweet (chocolate, cream, fruit, nuts, powdered sugar) or savory (cheese, vegetables, meat) fillings/toppings.

"abomination" = This tier includes croissants that still retain the "croissant" (crescent) shape but have 1-2 elements that are... off... somehow. For example, miniature croissants (that you are encouraged to dip into your drink), whole spears of asparagus stuffed inside the pastry, carving out the middle of a croissant and filling the cavity with other things, and... frozen croissants *shivers* Also here is the "crookie" or combining cookie dough with a croissant.

"blasphemy" = This is when the croissants start fucking with the shape or the form (which Rollo does NOT approve of). Both examples in this tier are just slightly twisty variants, which (while still offensive) is not as offensive compared to what's to come. Also here is a giant croissant, which got downgraded from "abomination" tier despite being the correct croissant shape due to the sheer excess of size.

"contrition" = Here we have flat, crispy as heck croissants and these fat... round... wheel-like stuffed croissants with a LOT of filling. Rollo would call the former basically a potato chip (it only ranks this high because it technically keeps the crescent shape) and the latter too indulgent and being slightly off from the original crescent.

"damnation" = These are not even croissants anymore, it's literally a muffin, a waffle, a donut, and burger buns made with croissant batter.

"eternal damnation (to hellfire with you)" = Rollo voice) WE HAVE GONE TOO FAR, IT IS TIME TO STOP. Yes, you are looking at croissant BOXES, croissant ONIGIRI (with strips of nori and toppings/fillings characteristic of actual rice balls), and some... croissants of a churro-like shape...) The last item here is a rice paper croissant... which, while resembling the shape typical of a croissant, is completely different in composition and is therefore messing with tradition. It is deemed worthy of eternal damnation.