#i think they wanted to do a ‘connection transcends romance’ thing but instead it just feels like they’re copping out of Writing A Romance

[micamicster]

Ok here’s my criticism of the english: I think it needed to be either A Romance OR needed to have the romance entirely unspoken

[shinidamachu]

inukag was born to be shipped by me and I was born to ship inukag as well

For ages now I've been meaning to write about the reasons why I ship Inukag as fervently as I do and @inukag-week felt like the perfect opportunity to indulge myself, so here we go.

I want to start with how aesthetically pleasing they are. From their perfect size difference to the complimentary color scheme of their outfits plus contrasting hair and eye colors, Inuyasha and Kagome just look absolutely good together.

Their character design makes it clear from the get go that they're visually a great match. The association is so strong that the audience becomes unable to picture one without the other, as if they're two halves of the same item. Different, yet unequivocally a team, a pair.

Decades ago, they already had that classic quality to them and I bet they'd never get out of style even decades from now. And the rich lore that surrounds the pairing only adds to that aesthetic: the well, the tree, the beads, the robe, the sword, all of it enhances how iconic they are. Even something as ordinary as star gazing becomes uniquelly theirs.

Futhermore, I just absolutely love the entire concept of it. The subvertion of the fairy tale archetype, the idea of a love that transcends time, of soulmates who actually work on building their bond. Loving each other was both inevitable and a choice they made every single day.

Inuyasha and Kagome were just two teenagers from different worlds — literally and figurativelly — discovering together what love was. This made their relationship very compelling, because the excange between them is insanely substancial.

And their overall dynamic is so wholesome. There was a push and pull, a give and take, that made it fluid rather than static. Every single milestone felt organic and kept the audience thirsting for the next one.

Nothing felt forced or rushed. The slow burn was competently written to showcase their relationship being build on a very strong foundation, consistent in intimacy, mutual trust and acceptance — recurring themes for them and for the story — and so the stages of their bond had such a natural pace, it highlighted how genuine and healthy it was.

Consequently, there are so many aspects of their connection to explore. There's a never ending room for angst and for light hearted moments and you can adopt a more mature perspective or go for comical instead: they manage to be versatile without being generic and to embod the best clichés in fiction without becoming one themselves.

It's hard to think of a trope they couldn't pull off or an alternate universe that doesn't work for them. It gives the fandom plenty of freedom to be creative and to have the best time with it.

Plus, their chemistry was off charts. The romantic tension bleed through every single interaction. Their passion is so strong you could feel it even in scenes that had nothing to do with romance. And they didn't even need to kiss to achieve that level of synchrony.

They were also compatible. Inuyasha and Kagome balance each other quite nicely. Even in a relationship, they still keep their individualities and remain interesting both as characters and as a ship.

The very thing that dooms most pairings — opposite personalities — is precisely what keeps them together. Inuyasha and Kagome are completely different from each other, but they're actually extremely similar where it actually matters: their morals and goals.

And they longer they stay together, challenging one another, growing through trials and tribulations, inadvertently learning what each other's needs are and fulfilling them, easing each other's sorrows, covering each other's backs, saving each other's lives in every possible way, learning each other and learning with one another, the more their dichotomy turns into a duality, because they gain a more nuanced perspective of themselves, of each other and of the world.

It's a level of understanding, closeness and respect incredibly difficult to match. And for Inuyasha and Kagome, no one else even came close.

Another thing is that they're not just complementary to each other, but to the story itself. Their romance enhaces the overall plot. It has a structural placement in the wider narrative, strengthening its core themes and fulfilling the characters individual arcs, ultimately resulting in a more compelling journey.

So many romances are disposable to their own story, but Inukag was detrimental to theirs. Inuyasha and Kagome's interactions served as pivotal points of their respective arcs. Taking only the narrative into consideration, their relationship holds a lot of weight and greatly influenced everyone around it and it tied everything together.

That's why their happy ending felt so satisfying: it feels earned because everything went full cycle. All of that symbolism, all of those parallels paid off. Anything different from what we got would simply lack narrative and thematic cohesion.

And even if they didn't end up together, they could never be circumstancial. There was a real reason why they met, a reason why the fell in love and why they had ever lasting impacts on each other's lives regardless. It wasn't just love for love's sake.

This is what makes them, in my opinion, an epic ship.

BONUS: their soundtrack is lit and their quotes are simply legendary.

[inhonoredglory]

Hello! I've stumbled upon the post of yours about Crowley and Aziraphale being ace, thank you so much for voicing so perfectly what I never could but always felt. The scene at the ball though is wrong - Crowley says "you don't dance" instead of "we don't dance", Neil said that was one of the subtitle mistakes that happened during the strike and I was wondering, does it make any difference for the interpretation? Like, implying Aziraphale has no experience but Crowley does since you pointed out dancing is a euphemism for sex? Or is it a nod to the book that says demons dance (badly) and angels don't? (I felt like in the book and in the series that explanation had no double meaning but was simply about dancing, unlike the ball scene in season 2)?

Thanks for reading my aromantic Ineffable meta and popping in with a very thoughtful and interesting question on Crowley's statement here:

For context, in my original interpretation (with the mis-subtitled “We don’t dance”), I took Crowley’s statement to imply that he believed both of them understood their relationship to be of a certain kind and was questioning Aziraphale’s attempt to change it (by making it more public and physical by dancing).

I do think the core of this idea still holds even knowing that Crowley actually said “You don’t dance.” Crowley’s delivery of that line is deeply serious, and is weighed by much more than just a cheeky nod to the books.

Which (if we look at the book) is interesting, because the “angels don't dance” segment is directly connected to the discreet gentlemen’s club (aka Azi’s gay dance club era doing the “kissing dance”), contrasting Aziraphale’s willingness to “dance” in comparison to other angels. So, I actually would like to speculate that there’s a double entendre to the book’s passage as well (because if it’s one thing that feels particularly Terry Pratchett, it’s making innuendo out of some hollow theological question):

Over the years a huge number of theological man-hours have been spent debating the famous question: How Many Angels Can Dance on the Head of a Pin? In order to arrive at an answer, the following facts must be taken into consideration: Firstly, angels simply don’t dance. It’s one of the distinguishing characteristics that marks an angel. They may listen appreciatively to the Music of the Spheres, but they don’t feel the urge to get down and boogie to it. So, none. At least, nearly none. Aziraphale had learned to gavotte in a discreet gentlemen’s club in Portland Place, in the late 1880s, and while he had initially taken to it like a duck to merchant banking, after a while he had become quite good at it, and was quite put out when, some decades later, the gavotte went out of style for good. So providing the dance was a gavotte, and providing that he had a suitable partner (also able, for the sake of argument, both to gavotte, and to dance it on the head of a pin), the answer is a straightforward one. (x)

Of course, Aziraphale is only willing to “dance” (or, if we take that as its euphemism, “have sex”) under very specific circumstances, with a very particular partner, and that it didn’t come naturally but was learned (and eventually very much enjoyed). Which I think tracks with Neil saying they can be read as asexual.

I think Crowley, knowing the implications of dancing, is commenting on what he believes about Aziraphale, that angels “don’t do that.” It’s probably been battered into him by Hell that demons do in fact dance (“Not what you would call good dancing though” (x) But angels do not. His apparent shock is him shifting his viewpoint on what Aziraphale is capable of and what Aziraphale wants from him.

I think if it’s one thing this season showed us is that Aziraphale definitely feels more experienced than Crowley, and more willing to take their relationship in a physical direction. But both of them are absolutely clueless about romance, relationship labels, and how to fit their transcendent love into tiny human boxes.

So, I guess to sum up, I don’t think the correction in what Crowley said changes my overall interpretation of my analysis (their essentially aromantic selves). Instead of a comment on what Crowley believes about them together, it now becomes more personal––more about what Crowley himself realizes about Aziraphale’s desires. That Aziraphale wants to be more public, more physical, more romantically-coded than he previously imagined Aziraphale was willing (or wanting) to be.

[wishcamper]

loving acovav and your family systems posts, it puts into words and pulls together so many problems that exist within the ic and relationships in the book xx

though i just have to say it absolutely KILLS me that sjm somehow accidently created such interesting and complex character dynamics (even though there is still a fair amount of inconsistency)

Thank you so much! I was glad to find I wasn’t alone in being baffled/infuriated by the books lol

I think sjm does have the ability to identify the conditions for conflict, but kind of all of us do. Blending families can be hard, involved power struggles. Entering a new world creates cognitive dissonance and grief. People react to trauma differently, and don’t always understand others’ reactions. Romance inside a friend group creates tension. These are things we all know if you think for a moment. But her weakness is that she’s often bad at predicting how people would react to these conflicts, and she definitely doesn’t understand why and how people change.

On the whole, the “themes” she explores are pretty universal. That’s why her premises have so much potential but don’t go anywhere emotionally satisfying. And universal stories are satisfying, that’s why we tell them over and over a la the Hero’s Journey. ACOTAR is Beauty and the Beast. ACOSF is essentially The Taming of the Shrew with more push-ups. But where a different telling like 10 Things I Hate About You says something new about that story- that we are more than stereotypes and can find authentic connections when we transcend them - her conclusions are straight up weird. Like, ACOSF says: be who everyone wants you to be and life gets better. Uh?? In what world is that a hopeful takeaway??

That’s why even her own characters seem out of character, because the inciting events and the reactions they elicit don’t make sense half the time. I think it’s because she doesn’t have equal compassion for her characters (some none at all) so the ones she likes get every motivation for their actions upheld as worthwhile, and the ones she doesn’t like are either two dimensional or have to suck up to the characters she likes for redemption. But she doesn’t recognize that this communicates something, even if it’s unintentional. It’s like she doesn’t realize there’s a subconscious story underneath the surface one, that we can see her thought process through the choices she makes AND the ones she doesn’t.

I know she’s talked about how she puts a lot of her own experience into the books and I think that shows but mostly through her internal and external biases, unfortunately. She only ever affirms her own beliefs through the text, and ultimately says something obvious or straight up distasteful without meaning to (I hope). Other people have detailed her misogyny more thoroughly than I can here, but the disdain for her female characters is so obvious. And that’s not even starting on the racism. There’s a very clear thread of personal responsibility that ignores all the systemic, identity, and cultural factors that make us feel, think, and behave in certain ways.

All this is to say: agree, it’s so annoying because it’s like she had all the ingredients for a cake and somehow made a pizza instead because she likes it more. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t know how you got from there to here Sarah, and you seem happy but I still want cake!

Anyway, thank you for the ask, and letting me indulge in affronted literary criticism, which is my favorite thing to do 🤓

[smoreobscurelore]

Good Omens is a story about love.

I know we joke about Gaiman answering 'Love' To fan questions but it really is about love. The whole story is. Almost every major plot beat in the Good Omens show is linked in some way to the feeling of love. That love intrinsically comes hand in hand with the very human feeling of it’s world and characters. 

Crowley and Aziraphale want to stop armageddon because they love the earth and each other. They both love humans, humanity and all they offer (Books, food, clothes, music, cars). They love being on earth where an angel and a demon can co-exist in relative peace. Their love gives them a level of humanity that not many other angels and demons have.

It is Adam's love for his friends and his dog that grounds him. He's ready to go full anti-Christ before he realises the effect he's having on the people he loves. A lot of Adam's love comes from the fact he was raised as a human. He stops the apocalypse, thanks in part, to the fact that he loves his earthy dad so much. It’s Azirpahale and Crowley’s love that makes them stand with Adam.

Peppa, Wensleydale and Brian forgive and fight beside Adam because they love him and each other. They stand against the literal apocalypse with him. The love that Adam and his friends have is what stops War, Famine, Death and Pollution.

The entire plot of season 2 is triggered by the Romance between Gabriel and Beelzebub. The theme of love is so strong that it can transcend Heaven, Earth and Hell. It shows us that Azirapahle and Crowley aren't so rare. Love just really is that powerful. It can connect things that seem unconnectable. It outweighs hate and war that has existed since the fall. Love can literally stop the end of the world. Axirpahale and Crowley do it in season one and Gabriel and Beelzebub at least delay it in season two.

It's Azirpahale's general love, compassion, and kindness that makes him accept Gabriel into the bookshop. He wants to keep Gabriel safe. There are a tonne of opportunities for Azirpahale to wash his hands of Gabriel and save his own skin. He almost refuses Gabriel at the door out of fear but his love makes him reconsider. Even when hell is knocking at his door. He tells Gabriel that he is going to protect him no matter what.

Crowley's love for Azirapahale makes him protect Gabriel too. Acts of service are how he shows his love. He can't just stand by and watch Azirpahale risk his existence. He's willing to risk his own because it wouldn't mean as much without Azriaphale. Keeping Gabriel safe is what keeps Azirpahale safe, so he does it. Fear drives him away from the book shop but love brings him back.

Nina and Maggie are supposed to reflect Aziraphale and Crowley and I think a huge part of that is to highlight their humanity. Sure, Crowley and Azirpahale's love story spans 6000 years. Sure, they're a demon and an angel. But the base love story they have is a very human one. One we see through Maggie and Nina. One where outside forces and unhealthy relationships keep two people, who would otherwise be good for each other, apart. Aziraphale and Crowley can’t jsut miracle their relationship better in the same way they can’t miracle Nina and Maggie into being in love. They have to work hard at it. They have to communicate. They have to do it the human way. Azirpahle loves doing things the human way.(French and magic) 

Tragically, the love that Azirphale and Crowley have for one another is what separates them at the end of season two. They feel so strongly about their decisions because they love one another. Crowley wants to run away together so they can be in love and live how they want. Azirpahle wants to fix the broken system that hurts the person he loves the most. They’re both trying to find ways to be together but their lack of communication turns love into conflict instead. If that’s not human, I don’t know what is.

[gffa]

Final thoughts on Jedi: Battle Scars:  

The book never really transcends the foundational problems it has in the way it was structured, that the central relationship between Merrin and a new character is never given any time to let the audience know who this new person is and no amount of lip service paid to it in-book about how Merrin doesn’t know why she fell so hard and fast for Fret can overcome that we the audience don’t know, either.  They don’t even really flirt or have fun banter, they just immediately dive into a relationship, one that’s supposedly about “letting Merrin be angry”, in a way she can’t be angry with Cal and Cere and Greez, but none of that is actually in the relationship, it’s all soft kisses and playful nipping at shoulders and thinking about hands, it says it’s a relationship with teeth, but doesn’t really have any.  They literally hold hands while on a recon mission!

And that’s not even getting into how they literally have sex in Cal’s room, on his bed with the door green fired shut, you know, the guy who touches things and is pulled into sense memories of things that happen on the spots he touches, that guy’s bed.  Despite that Merrin has her own room.

This relationship turns Cal into an awkward third wheel where he has very little internal world aside from clearly pining after Merrin, being irrationally jealous of Fret’s relationship with her, and thinking about how the Mantis crew is family.  They’re a family.  Did you know they’re a family?  Because they’re a family.  And also family.

I rolled my eyes at the attachment = romance conversation Cal and Cere had, given that that’s not how the movies and TCW use it, but it was reasonably mild and I’m kind of used to books fucking that up.

Cere is the character that actually comes off best in this, she’s struggling with her desire to not fight anymore, to be constantly focused on tearing the Empire down, and instead building the Jedi Order and their legacy up again.  It’s not touched on a lot, beyond one conversation, but it’s probably the best tension of the book, that Cal wants to keep fighting, but Cere wants to start building, and neither of them know which is the right path or if this means they’re starting to diverge from each other.  Survival vs living is a good theme for Jedi in the Empire era and I was intrigued.

Cere’s second conversation with Cal has a great bit about the dark side and why she doesn’t use the dark side against the Inquisitor like she did with Vader--she says, "The dark side of the Force, your potential connection to it is not something to turn on and off like a faucet. It's not a switch you flick when you need it. It's the first step on a road you often can't get off once you start down it. It was successful when I used it against Vader, but it was the wrong thing to do. Jedi can't judge everything based on success. We must judge our actions on whether they were right, and in service of the light.”  BANGER QUOTE.

There’s also a very cute anecdote Cal shares about Master Jaro, I was touched.  ;__;

Cere and Merrin have a conversation while on stake-out that was genuinely delightful, because we know they have a connection already and so the background work was already done for us, and so when they just quietly understand each other or have a moment of shared feelings, it works great.

Occasionally the book gets weird about how it seems to forget what world its set in, like when Cal and Merrin are gleefully killing Stormtroopers, like Cal is envious of Merrin getting to “have a good time killing Stormtroopers”.  Which, yes, this is a spin-off of a video game where you kill a lot of Stormtroopers but Christ alive Cal is still a Jedi, it’s weird to write him as being so cavalier towards taking lives.

The plot of the book was pretty paint by the numbers--do run of the mill mission, get wrapped up in a chase after a MacGuffin, find the MacGuffin, realize the dealer is actually bad, have a few run-ins with the Inquisitor, save the day.  There’s nothing really to spark anything here, it’s just there.

Final Verdict: Borrow this one from the library if you’re interested in the characters, but over half of this story being taken up by a Merrin/OC story that seems to primarily be about being a pansexual f/f relationship, instead of actually developing that relationship, really disappointed me.  I was so, so ready for pansexual Merrin in a super queer relationship, but there was nothing for me to grab onto with it, it’s everything I dislike about f/f, especially with a character like Merrin who actually should have some teeth to her, and then it started pulling Cal into this weird love triangle that was genuinely completely unnecessary and didn’t even go anywhere!  I was exhausted by every scene of it. I was so ready for a book about Merrin struggling with her magick because she’s not really in a great space, but that storyline also felt like it was all tell and not nearly enough show.  This Merrin never felt like she had any real edges to her and maybe I’m just biased, I just read The Locked Tomb trilogy where I had an entire array of lesbian and pansexual/bisexual characters who got to have so many gloriously sharp edges and softer sides, so much glorious banter that made me give a shit about them, that this book just can’t measure up to that. There are some lovely moments scattered throughout the books, basically anything with Cere had my attention, and one really excellent scene with her and Cal talking about survival vs living.  Greez was solid, never great and never terrible, never quite capturing the charm of the game’s charisma.  Everything else is fine, if kind of forgettable. I switched to the audiobook about halfway through, which I think helped a lot, but ultimately:  Borrow from the library if you feel up to it, but if you skip it, don’t feel bad.

[queer-and-dear-books]

Title: Every Day 

Author: David Levithan

Genre: YA Fiction | Romance | Fantasy | LGBTQ+

Content Warnings: Self-Harm | Suicidal Ideation | Mentioned Homophobia | Fatphobia | Misgendering

Overall Rating: 9.7/10

Personal Opinion: This story is an old favorite of mine. It was the first book I’d ever purchased for myself and I fell in love with it. The very concept of A, waking up in a new body everyday, is truly fascinating to me. But the fact that they fall in love with a girl, Rhiannon, and end up wanting to be with her regardless of which body they’re in is so utterly romantic. 

Do I Own This Book? Yes. 

Spoilers Below For My Likes & Dislikes:

Likes:

- Something I loved was seeing all kinds of identities and relationships. The messy sibling dynamics of the Wongs, the bro-fest of the twins. The honeymoon phase of Zara and Amelia, the sweet story of acceptance between Vic and Dawn, and the year-long “are we still sure about this” vibes of Aaron and Hugo. There are so many different types of characters, different lives, we got so many glimpses and it felt special. The uniqueness of every human being just made me love each and every one of them.

- I was curious about some of the lives. Like for Kelsea, I had wondered if she got the help she needed. Luckily, Levithan likes to sate my curiosity by implying that yes, Kelsea does get help. And yes, Michael will make it to his sister’s wedding in Hawaii on time. A disrupts these lives for Rhiannon but it is such a relief that they’re not destroying them. In fact, they may have helped Kelsea.

- A and Rhiannon have some powerful chemistry. It might also be because A kept on pursuing her regardless of what body he was in. Like he put in the work to show that he loved her. Taking her to the beach as Justin, dancing with her as Nathan, making a giant heart out of chopsticks and sugar as George, inviting her to the tree house as Alexander. Like A really knows how to make a girl feel special.

- Also, the last body he was in before he left was Alexander Lin! He’s Asian and he’s such a good boy. He got the most wholesome anniversary gift for his parents, his best friend is a gay guy he once slipped money to so he could pay for his share of dinner, and he’s a creative too. How can I not love him? Obviously, you can’t force a romantic connection between Rhiannon and Alexander so I worry about Alexander’s heart in the sequel but for now, I am transcendent.

- I don’t blame Nathan for reacting the way he did after everything that happened to him. I too would freak out if I was suddenly found on the side of the road by police when previously, the most trouble I’d get in is forgetting to do a homework assignment. It added this other layer to the story that was just super intriguing. Basically by calling A the devil, A really began thinking about the potential of chaos he could bring into a person’s life. It was fascinating. Not to mention, it basically set everything up for the potential of a sequel. 

- Reverend Poole is scum but he is a necessary scum. I like what he adds to the story as an entity similar to A. The implication that there are others like A.

Dislikes:

- Justin is trash. He apparently gaslights Rhiannon and also barely gives her the time of day. I am glad they broke up. Granted, it shouldn’t have happened the way it did but man, they are so much better apart. The thing that really bugs me though is that Rhiannon still did a bunch of things with A while still with Justin and honestly, I don’t like that. She should’ve dumped him first. Look, I’m not against her cheating specifically because let’s be honest, Justin sucks, but she still should’ve dumped him when she had the chance instead of just waiting to get caught hugging A as Michael.

- Reverend Poole gives me the creeps. I know he’s technically possessed by an entity like A, and therefore not completely Reverend Poole, but I don’t care. I do not like him.

- Rhiannon, baby, A told you that Vic identifies as a boy and you still misgendered him the entire time. How fucking dare you. I was rooting for you, we were all rooting for you. But I guess it just shows her ignorance because it has been implied before.

[thewishofafairygodmother]

Chapter 3 The Hypocrite and His Heart

Jacob dislikes sweat but there’s something hot with a guy who’s covered in it, and when Hassan got home, panting, exhausted and sweat dripping from his beard, Jacob felt something grow down there that he had to cover up.

                “Jacob!” Hassan called from the foyer, and his voice was endearing, like a sweet and needing tune to be strung. Jacob remembered what happened earlier that day and even though he screamed with surprise, he felt giddy like a teenager for the second time again. The thing is, Jacob never felt this when he was a teen. Romance was a fairytale idea and that was something considering they, the fairies, were the authors of fairytale classics. And as anything that could depress him, the thoughts flooded his mind, freezing the joyous idea along the way. He went back to reality and felt the frost creeping from his fingertips to his palms.

                “Jacob!” Hassan snapped his fingers to Jacob’s eyes. “Are you okay?”

                Jacob looked up and realized he was between Hassan’s hands. He was trying to support himself from the back of the sofa, trying to catch his breath.

                Jacob assured Hassan he was okay, but he knew, like his frost-covered hand, his melancholy was visible. However, he pretended as if it weren’t. Besides, Hassan seemed like he had something more important to share. Instead of dwelling in that moment, Jacob looked at Hassan and asked why was he in such a hurry.

                 “I know what you could help me with,” Hassan answered.

                Jacob jolted from his seat and angled towards Hassan. He was ready to perform his miracle.

                “I wish… this is if only it’s possible, okay?” Hassan prompted and inhaled the courage to say his wish out loud. “I wish my parents were alive again. I have wanted nothing else in this world than to have a life with my family around me. Years with them, decades even. It’s all I ask. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, please.”

                Jacob was disheartened even more. Hassan’s wish was no way possible. He was a fairy, not a god. He could conjure up a pretty dress from particles of snow, but lives of one’s parents aren’t just a pretty dress like that. Jacob was conflicted to tell Hassan this but he knew he should. There are limits to what a fairy could do. Fairies are connected to natural and life forces, but fairies can only harness them, not summon them from thin air. A fairy can’t regenerate life out of nothing, and Hassan’s parents’ life forces have all been gone, not to mention their spirits may have transcended already beyond life. Jacob didn’t know if Hassan knew this and that he was trying to have leap of faith. Nonetheless, Jacob was only going to break his heart.

                From Jacob’s affect, Hassan might have known the answer already because he stepped away and the excitement he had before was completely washed away from his face. The waves of joy and anticipation subsided to a quiet and defeated shore.

                “I’m sorry,” Jacob broke the silence.

                “It’s fine. It’s not your fault, Jacob,” Hassan quickly replied but his eyes were already brimming with tears.

                Jacob understood the significance of tears. In the fae realm when the skies would cry, it often meant something terrible was about to happen. However, it also meant that the plants all around could quench their thirst from being stewards of shade and color. Jacob understood the natural need to deflate one’s grief with tears. Hence, his attempt to comfort Hassan was aimed to maim the pain, not hinder the tears. He put Hassan’s head on his lap where Hassan buried his face and cried his heart out. Jacob was disappointed at himself. He tried to think of a way to curve the trajectory of the situation but the winds all fell to one simple reality; Jacob was no god. He was just a fairy godmother.

                “Maybe you need closure, Hassan. Not this. You need a second chance at life. At love.”

                Hassan sniffed and feigned a smile back. He didn’t reply and just stood up and closed the door of his bedroom behind him. Jacob was left alone in the living room with nothing to offer. He sighed.

                Life is a single path that one traverses up to its completion. The natural order of life is to go back in its organic state and allow the world to create new ones that one life could be a part of. Despite whatever demise, one life accounts for its role in the natural order. One life only goes so far as the world consents and as far as the individual walks. At the end of life, it is a sad thought to have to only think of one’s role in the grand scheme of the natural order where death is an inevitable end. Life is to be celebrated, lived and savored. Hassan’s parents were deprived of this luxury and Jacob could only offer as far as his empathy. Jacob felt worthless. There could be nothing a fairy godmother could do to overwrite grief. Hassan’s loss was irreplaceable, and Jacob wondered how to go around this wish.

---

The night was still and frightened. No wind, no sound, nothing but two of the most respected members of the Legio Spiralis carrying a black hole of negative energy back to their home. It was as if a centrifugal force kept all life away several meters from them. The world of emptiness watched them bring a harbinger to their town, awaiting the inevitable doom it will unleash. Ushad and Madelid knew the danger they posed, but they had to brave themselves as they vowed with their lives. The Yawa, the Duke of Corruption and Inferno, was caged with their magic and they knew their magic was nothing compared to the power the demon possessed. All they could do was pray to the three goddesses for protection, but even that seemed pointless.

                Hassan, in a very early age, tip toed down the basement without his parents’ knowledge that he and his grandma fell asleep in the shop waiting for them to return. In the most dreadful hours of the night, Hassan felt his parents’ presence, waking him up only to witness their demise. Hassan knew nothing of the peril his parents’ had brought home. In his eyes, it was an uneventful evening and Hassan was happy his parents got home safe. Peeking from the corner of the wall, Hassan saw his parents reveal a small glass casket with an eerie-looking mask inside. His father observed the artefact but before he could proceed inside their sealed chamber, the casing exploded into a blaze. His father was engulfed in flames. Flames flickered from his eyes and tongues of fire caressed his bare chest. His mother screamed in terror but before her voice could’ve called for help, the Yawa had touched her, reducing her to ashes in a matter of seconds.

                “Ma-!” Hassan tried to scream after his mother but his grandma held him back to the shadows. As painful as it was, his grandmother hid in the dark, mumbling prayers to protect them from the ultimate evil that was summoned in their basement. Hassan closed his eyes and prayed with her. He felt his grandmother’s tears on his skin and so he realized he had to be courageous. He had to be steadfast because their lives changed already, and each second meant more decline, falling into the ravine. However, before the Yawa, his father no longer, could walk up the basement and discover him and his grandma, the Yawa exploded again, releasing a nuke of an inferno that ravaged the entire town, setting houses, shops and even people ablaze.

When Hassan opened his eyes, he saw world through a wall of water. His grandmother had casted a protective barrier for them that saved them from an onslaught. When the water subsided, ashes fell from the sky. The night sky cried of dried tears that drifted slowly and lifelessly to the ground; a reminder of death and what once were of things that used to be alive. Their antique shop was decimated. It was erased from existence with only embers remained that still greedily devoured what they could. Hassan saw people go out of their burning houses, searching for the cause of the disaster. The flames put their non-existent shop in a spotlight, it was a monument of disaster. Hassan’s grandmother fell to her knees and started praying, holding the locket that she wore her whole life.

In starless nights or venereal blights,

The dawn will come with faithful foresight

Rebirth and revival brought the doves to flight

Heed my need, your songs I recite

                As her grandmother finished the verse, her locket glowed so bright like the sun was emanating from her chest. It levitated before a luminescent human-like entity emerged from the light. A gigantic bust of the goddess Hanan hovered over the town like the sun would have. It was too early for dawn but Hanan illuminated her world, saving it from the darkness that had befallen.

                “Tell me, what do you need, dear child,” she asked Hassan’s grandmother. Her glowing eyes had vision that penetrated through everything, seeing truth and seeing through reality.

Hassan’s grandmother, a devout cleric of the goddess confessed the evil that was set free.

“The Yawa…” his grandmother’s voice trailed off. There was defeat that came those words; defeat from a war no one waged.

“Fret not, my sister,” Hanan said in an ethereal voice and it echoed through the night. She let Hassan’s grandmother stand on her ghostly hands and she lifted her close to her.

 “The evil has been subdued. What is it that you still ask?” she inquired.

Hassan couldn’t hear what her grandmother had asked, but he had faith that his grandmother had to do what was right. Without question, Hanan heeded his grandmother’s prayer. With a wave of her hand, the town was enveloped in a loving aura. It swept away all the ashes and rebuilt the homes that were lost in the fire. Everything was restored before calamity had struck. Then, she left. Hanan faded into the night. Her light faded into nothingness. But despite the magic that brought back everything, the town fell still, dead and quiet.

“What happened?” Hassan asked her grandmother who seemed downtrodden despite her magnificent feat.

“I’m sorry, Hassan,” she said, before falling unconscious on the ground. Hassan was alone and that was the first time he ever felt such.

---

It was nighttime when Hassan woke up. A moonbeam shined through his windows, calling him to go out and watch it perform. The disappointment had mellowed into surrender. It was sad, but Hassan knew better than force an impossibility to fruition. Life is bleak when only obligations run its course, turning meaning to survival and narratives into warnings. Hassan stayed alive for his duty to prevent any disaster to happen for the foreseeable future. It was a debt he owed to the world, a debt he thought he should pay with his life.

                When he went out of the room, the entire mansion was silent. It was clean and vibrant, but silent nonetheless. It was only a couple of days since Jacob appeared but the house already felt differently without his presence. The lights were turned off and only the blueish shade from the blend of night and moon illuminated fractions of the mansion, revealing some secrets and keeping some at bay.

                “Jacob?” Hassan called. “Are you here?”

                Jacob was one of the secrets it revealed. Jacob was outside in the backyard, perfectly framed by the large windows from the interiors of the house. He was lying on a pile of clouds and snow, watching the clearest skies the town had ever had. For a minute, Hassan stared at Jacob. There he was, placid, magical and serenely positioned to shower under the brightest stars. Hassan had never seen any vision as peaceful as Jacob in a vortex of glitter and light; and that was something considering he witnessed a goddess’s power firsthand. For some reason, Jacob’s presence lifted the gravity of the house. It wasn’t happy. It wasn’t cheerful. It was simply, livable.

                Hassan used the backdoor to go to the backyard. Their backyard changed. Maybe because of Jacob. The previous night, the backyard was infested with weeds and random grass sprouts, bushes that may have been sheltering some possums or large rats. But that night, it was filled with pink roses, sleeping sunflowers, and a rainbow of flowers that Hassan didn’t know what their names were. It was beautiful and it became even better when Jacob nestled in the middle of it all as if he was the prince of the night.

                “Hassan?” Jacob noticed Hassan approaching and his voice reeled Hassan back to reality.

                “Yeah, I’m sorry about earlier,” he said.

                Jacob frowned. “No, there’s nothing you should apologize for. Come here for a while. Maybe watching the stars will help you feel better.”

                Hassan smiled. Watching the stars had always made him feel better.

                “I’m sorry for putting you on a tough spot,” he told Jacob.

                “I’m sorry for failing you with your wish,” Jacob said back.

                “For several years, decades, I’ve been left alone—”

                “I’m sorry, decades?” Jacob reiterated.

                “Yeah, we don’t count but I may be near a hundred years old now.”

                “Oh, my god, same!” Jacob squealed. “You see, fairies live for a very long time because time is different in the fae realm. We have nights and days, but with how close we are to the axis of creation itself, the way we age differs from anything. Some fairies don’t die. We simply figure out when our time has come, and if we had done our part to maintain the balance of the universe, then we become part of nature once again. Some live on as talking trees. Some live as unicorns. It differs. Some live forth and continue to serve the balance of things.”

                Hassan watched Jacob blabber on and on about being a fairy. He noticed that Jacob got conscious of his own awkward enthusiasm so Hassan felt the need to apologize.

                “But wouldn’t that make fairies overly populated? You don’t die and more just keep coming and coming and coming.” Hassan was continued the conversation.

                “Most fairies become fairy godmothers. Only a few stay in the fae realm to keep it safe. Fairy godmothers stay with their godchildren forever. Some live in a pocket dimension given to them when they graduate Godmothering. These fairies perish when their godchildren do, it’s like their existence is tied together the moment they were woven.”

                “Does that make me your godchild?” Hassan asked, curiouser and curiouser.

                “I’m still an intern, to be perfectly transparent. Sooner, a newly graduated fairy godmother may be assigned to you.”

                “But why? Why was I chosen?”

                Jacob smiled. He knew Hassan was going to like what he was about to say. “You see, godchildren are those who yearn for happiness, and are pure of heart.”

                For the first time since they met, that was the only time Hassan felt genuinely happy.

                “I don’t know what else to wish for, Jacob. I only want my parents back. They’d know what I’m supposed to do at this point. They’d know how to fix this. I don’t know what else to do, I just want to fix this.”

                Jacob was puzzled. “Fix what?”

                But Hassan only returned him with a pained stare. There was something he couldn’t share, something he figured Jacob wasn’t ready to hear. He figured that Jacob was his only company after several years of loneliness, so he thought that revealing his childhood trauma wasn’t a first date conversation. Hence, he brushed the thought away and re-attached himself to the peace that was available to him at the moment.

                “I’m sorry if I overstepped my bounds,” Jacob said, breaking the silence.

                “You didn’t,” Hassan laughed. “Making friends is hard around here, maybe I should just wish for you to stay, shouldn’t I?”

                “Me?” Jacob blushed but he hid it, perfectly. “I don’t think that’s how this was supposed to work. Making friends may be an arduous task, but you’ll get there. Maybe I can help you with it! Give you good clothes, a makeover? Maybe even land you a mate?”

                Hassan was amused.

                Jacob pouted as if his earnest offer sounded more stupid than genuine. But he meant it, maybe meant it a bit too much, bordering on asking if Hassan had some romantic interest in mind. Anyhow, Jacob still felt the lingering guilt from earlier. If Hassan loved the stars, then that was something he could give. Life was a farfetched miracle, but giving the stars was a simple, simple task.

“Come on, up. Up! Let me make it right with you.” He patted Hassan on the back and swirled the snow and clouds away. He waved his hands and his eyes glowed bright blue. The wind, as if in command gathered beneath Hassan’s feet until he started to levitate safely from the ground.

                “Don’t you worry. I’ve got you,” Jacob said and winked. He flew up to the sky and the wind tailed him, bringing Hassan up closer to the stars above. Jacob and Hassan reached a point where the sky appeared like a dome. Stars were on top, and all around them like poked holes that peered into the galaxies beyond. The view was magnificent, not to mention romantic. Jacob looked at Hassan but Hassan was too immersed in a view that he only dreamed of. Little did he know that Jacob marveled how beautiful his smile was and how he himself marveled at the beauty Jacob introduced him to. If only he saw how proud Jacob was for making him the happiest man in the world, even for just a minute, then maybe he wouldn’t have felt guilty of wishing Jacob to stay longer than he should.

                Hassan moved closer to Jacob and held his hand. He thanked him for the view. He thanked him for the company as well. Jacob felt a hint of achievement but a tinge of heartbreak still pinged in him which Hassan was quick to notice.

                “Are you alright?” he asked.

                Jacob nodded, forcing himself to smile.

                “You should be proud of yourself. You granted a wish I don’t think I’d ever ask.”

                Jacob smiled, genuinely this time.

                “Actually, I want to show you something too,” Hassan said and clenched his fist, as if focusing his energy on the bracelets he put on that expanded and clasped his arms. Hassan then started muttering as he closed his eyes.

                Cloaked in light, a dress of might

                The dawn that comes that quells the night

                Bless oneself to uphold what’s right

                A herald of peace, to champion this fight

                At the end of the last line, a string of light expanded into a band of luster that enveloped Hassan in full glory. A bright light outlined Hassan’s full physique, imitating the first light of dawn peering from an unwelcoming night. Jacob was in awe, and distracted, at how beautiful Hassan’s body was; full pecs, strong arms, and a thick pair of thighs. Ultimately, a pair of wings made out of pure incandescence proudly stretched at his back.

                “Wow,” was all what Jacob could say.

                “You can relax now, Jacob. I won’t fall. Not anymore,” Hassan said.

                “You look… different. And awesome. God, you look amazing!” and hot, Jacob exclaimed except the last part.

                Hasssan blushed. “Well, my grandmother entrusted this to me. She said I should use this power to protect what’s important to me and to do what’s right. But I think I’ve forgotten which those are or which they should be.”

                Jacob pouted. “You’re a man filled with so much sadness, aren’t you?”

                Hassan laughed at that one. “My grandmother told me on her deathbed, that I bear great power that I could use to do better for this world. But if I’m being honest, I think these artefacts are what caused those tragedies and that these shouldn’t be allowed to exist.”

                “I get that,” Jacob replied. “Power is good. Power means liberty. But power also entailed imbalance. Power is nothing if all are equal.”

                “Power is just power, it’s judgment that matters and I believe that refraining from using these artefacts could minimize the damages they imposed,” Hassan said.

                “Filled with sadness and devoid of trust,” Jacob retorted. aren’t I?

                Hassan hugged Jacob as they stood still mid-air. “Not tonight, at least. Thanks to you.” It was as if the sun and moon married each other as the cusp of a new day. As they pulled away and had a chance to look at each other’s eyes, they’re pretty much sure they felt something new, something they weren’t ready to acknowledge. In his newfound company, he had hope. He felt the tiniest bit of courage to challenge the agony of being a pariah to the community. But what could he do? Where could he start? Hope came with a lot of questions and new problems, but he had to hang on to that thread of hope somehow.

Hassan found answers through Jacob’s viridescent eyes. It is comforting to realize how much one’s empathy could go so far. In this case, Jacob may not have brought back Hassan’s parents to life, but he rekindled a dead fire that wanted something more out of a miserable life. From the ashes, Hassan breathed air and searched for answers, and only one piece of information seemed to answer the list he had carried with him in the past.

He wasn’t alone anymore. He had Jacob.

                “There may be a chance to bring my parents back, Jacob” he revealed.

                Jacob was unsure how to respond.

                Jacob stammered to sound enthusiastic but Hassan had already scooped him from his position and whisked him to a higher place. Hassan looked for a special spot he used to go with his grandma which was a beachfront at the nearest shoreline from their home. Jacob was happiest that flight on the way there. His face was cushioned under Hassan’s chest, feeling the most comfortable spot he ever knew.

                As they settled on the fine sand, Jacob realized why that was Hassan’s special place. The world was quiet. The sea hummed a tune. The trees didn’t obscure the faint glow of the moon, and it allowed Jacob to witness Hassan’s pure and effervescent smile.

                “Before anything else, I think you need to know why my parents died.”

[linnoya-writes]

Things I always hear Kat*angers argue (with counter-arguments):

1) Zuko and Katara’s elements might showcase an “opposites attract” idea, but they’re the same people: both are hot-headed and stubborn and would be at each other’s throats.  Katara and Aang carry the “soft boy/head strong girl” dynamic that is more healthy.

Let’s dive into this idea that Katara and Aang compliment each other better based on their natural responses to danger/conflict:

Aang is playful and cheerful where Katara is serious and focused.

Aang is a patient and peaceful soul where Katara is quick to anger.

Aang encourages Katara to reach for the sky, and Katara keeps him grounded.

Okay-- so it’s safe to say that whenever one partner is angry/frustrated, the other approaches them in a calm, collected supportive manner... right?

Actually, look closer.  These fun-loving, playful and peaceful kid-like traits embedded in Aang’s personality are traits that Katara always had in her-- she just needed someone like Aang to remind her that she had them.  The focused, serious and disciplined traits of Katara are all traits that Aang should be adopting into his own sense of maturity as he gradually becomes more confident and determined to be The Avatar.  

It’s not so much that Katara and Aang compliment each other enough to manage a relationship together, but more that they inspire each other to become more complex, beautiful, individual human beings.  Romantic potential between them has nothing to do with that.  

This “soft boy/head strong girl” idea of Kataang doesn’t even address the way Katara always hides her dark side/emotional issues from Aang in order to be a capable “voice of reason” for him on any given moment, or the fact that Katara is always defending Aang like a mother to a son, chasing him every time he literally or figuratively runs away from problems.  The dynamic between them is an imbalance of maturity rather than a balance of character traits.

Which leads me to Zutara’s dynamic; yes, Zuko and Katara are quite hot-headed, stubborn individuals who easily get frustrated when people don’t see things their way.  They have been at each other’s throats in the past... but here’s what people forget -- they stopped fighting the moment Zuko learned the error of his ways, stood by Katara’s side without judgment when she faced YonRha, and they became an unstoppable well-oiled machine of a duo who understood, respected and trusted each other enough to lay down their lives for the other.

It isn’t to say that Zuko and Katara would never argue or fight again, but the difference here is that their shared maturity, their understanding and mutual respect for one another would keep them at bay to hear each other’s point of view.  They have seen the darkest sides to each other and would know how to approach it calmly and collectively.  Neither of them would downplay or ignore the other’s anger; they would face each other until the conflict is resolved.

And that’s why Zutara’s dynamic, despite sharing similar character traits, holds a lot more weight and power that Kataang.

2) “Their bond is so epic that not wanting them together is like not wanting Han Solo/Princess Leia to be together.”

Okay, so, I’m not completely disagreeing here.  

I do understand that Katara and Aang had a spiritual connection since the beginning (very much like how Hayao Miyazaki sets up two protagonists to have a special, unspoken bond) and the adventures/obstacles they face together make their relationship all the much stronger.  I see Katara seeing Aang as the culmination of all of her dreams come true with the revelation that he is the Avatar, and that she brought him back, and I see Aang seeing Katara as the person who not only welcomed him into this second chance to fulfill his destiny, but to also guide him as a voice of reason into this darker war-torn world that he isn’t prepared for.  As Bryke once commented, Katara and Aang are the “DNA of the show” and I interpret this as the two of them moving the story forward... taking the initiative to go from plot-point to plot-point to fulfill all the needed tasks (ie. finding Aang bending masters) in order to have Aang become a fully realized Avatar.

My argument here is, why does it have to turn romantic?  Why can’t the bond remain as a spiritual, wholesome connection between friends?  Even Roku and Toph brought up the idea of friendship being such a powerful bond that it can transcend lifetimes in “The Avatar and the FireLord”... and I think the beauty of Aang and Katara is that it was a powerful friendship that occurred serendipitously and yet perfectly, setting up the entire arc of the ATLA story.  To me there is more emotional weight in keeping Katara and Aang as life-long friends rather than making things romantic.

The problem with turning their bond into a romance is that it brings up a lot more issues.  Katara is not a nomad like Aang; she would give up her own personal wants/needs to not just be at Aang’s side but travel everywhere with him as the Avatar’s SO, when we know that she is a girl who prefers setting roots, building connections and helping people for as long as its needed (”Imprisoned” and “The Painted Lady”).  She has a strong connection to her family in the SWT and would want to rebuild her home after the war and especially train new water benders.  Her SWT culture that greatly values quality family time, a meat-based diet, clothing made by animal skins would also clash with Aang’s personal tastes-- he’s not even discreet about how much he doesn’t like SWT food.  Furthermore, Aang as the Avatar would have so much responsibility fulfilling his work to the world that he would have a lot of trouble understanding the emotional needs/wants to Katara as a partner-- especially since in the show, he’s so accustomed to seeing her be mature enough to handle tough situations calmly and collectively.  Aang has even repeatedly avoided, ignored or downright down-played Katara’s angry and aggressive outbursts, so it goes to show that he wouldn’t know how to properly “be there” for her dark moments.  Katara has gotten accustomed to setting aside her own emotional headspace to instead nurture/coddle/support Aang.  It becomes a very lonely, very unsung existence, carrying that responsibility to be “collected” one in the relationship.  It’s easy to determine that this would continue as they’d get older, and Katara would continue to carry that heavy burden of always “being there” for Aang, but not vice versa.  

The emotional imbalance in a romance between Katara and Aang would be palpable (and it’s implied in LoK and the comics that they did have problems) especially since healthy relationships are meant to express equality and partnership-- where the two people interchangeably give love and support as needed.   

So yes, Kataang is indeed an “epic” relationship in the sense of friendship, but turning it into a romance would come at the cost of the individual characters’ wants/needs and development, and the healthy dynamic that they had as friends would suffer.

3) “But... what about Aang??  He’s loved her since the beginning and would be so devastated from Katara’s rejection, he wouldn’t be able to fulfill his duty as the Avat--”

Stop.  Just-- I’m gonna stop you right there.

It is not Katara’s responsibility to be there for Aang, especially as PR/damage control for the Avatar.  She does not owe Aang a relationship just because he harbored strong feelings for her, or because he’s grown to depend on her over time, or because he has this unbelievable power of the Avatar State that he hasn’t learned to control without her influence. 

Aang is the one who must grow up, who needs to be the Avatar and understand how to manage this power and sense of duty to the world.  On his own.

Aang needs to learn to be enough on his own.

... And while we’re on this topic, it is never healthy for someone to be figuratively “stuck” or “trapped” in a relationship just because their partner would be a lost, broken wreck without them.  

That is called “codependency,” and that is not okay.

[lokiondisneyplus]

A review of “Journey Into Mystery,” the penultimate Loki Season One episode on Disney+, coming up just as soon as I paper cut a giant cloud to death…

Journey Into Mystery was the title of the first Marvel comic to feature either Thor or Loki. It began as an anthology series featuring monsters and aliens, but Jack Kirby, Stan Lee, and Larry Lieber were so smitten with their adaptation of the characters of Norse myth that the Asgardians gradually took over the whole book, which was renamed after its hammer-wielding hero(*).

(*) The early Journey Into Mystery stories treated Thor’s alter ego, disabled Dr. Donald Blake, as the “real” character, while Thor was just someone Blake could magically transform into, while retaining his memories and personality. It wasn’t even clear whether Asgard itself was meant to exist at first, until Loki turned up on Earth in an early issue, caused trouble, and Blake/Thor somehow knew exactly how to get to Asgard to drop him off. Soon, the lines between Thor and Blake began to blur, and eventually Thor became the real guy, and Blake a fiction invented by Odin to humble his arrogant son. It’s a mark of just how instantly charismatic Loki was that the entire title quickly steered towards him and the other gods.

But once upon a time, anything was possible in Journey Into Mystery, which makes it an apt moniker for an absolutely wonderful episode of Loki where the same holds true. Our title characters are trapped in the Void, a place at the end of time where the TVA’s victims are banished to be devoured by a cloud monster named Alioth. And mostly they are surrounded by the wreckage of many dead timelines. Classic Loki insists that his group’s only goal is survival, and any kind of planning and scheming is doomed to kill the Loki who tries. But this ruined, hopeless world instead feels bursting with imagination and possibility.

There are the many Loki variants we see, with President Loki, among others, joining Classic, Kid, Boastful, and Alligator Loki. There are the metric ton of Easter Eggs just waiting to be screencapped by Marvel obsessives (I discuss a few of them down below), but which still suggest a much larger and weirder MCU even if you don’t immediately scream out “Is that… THROG?!?!?” at the appropriate moment. And all of that stuff is tons of fun, to be sure. But what makes this episode — and, increasingly, this series — feel so special is the way that it explores the untapped potential of Loki himself, in his many, many variations.

This is an episode that owes more than a small stylistic and thematic debt to Lost. It’s not just that Alioth looks and sounds so much like the Smoke Monster(*), that it makes a shared Wizard of Oz reference to “the man behind the curtain” (also the title of one of the very best Lost episodes), or even that the core group of Lokis are hiding in a bunker accessible via a hatch and a ladder that’s filled with recreational equipment (in this case, bowling alley lanes). It’s also that Loki, Sylvie, their counterparts, and Mobius have all been transported to a strange place that has disturbing echoes from their own lives, that operates according to strange new rules they have to learn while fleeing danger, and their presence there allows them to reflect on the many mistakes of their past and consider whether they want to, or can, transcend them.

(*) Yes, Alioth technically predates Smokey by a decade (see the notes below for more), but his look has been tweaked a bit here to seem more like smoke than a cloud, and the sounds he makes when he roars sound a lot like Smokey’s telltale taxi cab meter clicks. Given the other Lost hat tips in the episode, I have to believe Alioth was chosen specifically to evoke Smokey.

Classic Loki is aptly named. He wears the Sixties Jack Kirby costume, and he is a far more powerful magician than either Sylvie or our Loki have allowed themselves to be. He calls our Loki’s knives worthless compared to his sorcery, which feels like the show acknowledging that the movies depowered Loki a fair amount to make him seem cooler. But if Classic Loki can conjure up illusions bigger and more potent than his younger peers, he is a fundamentally weak and defeated man, convinced, like the others, that the only way to win the game into which he was born is not to play. “We cannot change,” he insists. “We’re broken. Every version of ourselves. Forever.” It is not only his sentiment — Kid Loki adds that any Loki who tries to improve inevitably winds up in the Void for their troubles — but it seems to have weighed on him longer and harder than most.

But Classic Loki takes inspiration from Loki and Sylvie to stand and fight rather than turn and run, magicking up a vision of their homeland to distract Alioth at a crucial moment in Sylvie’s plan, and getting eaten for his trouble. He was wrong: Lokis can change. (Though Kid Loki might once again argue that Classic Loki’s death is more evidence that the universe has no interest in any of them doing so.) And both Loki and Sylvie have been changing throughout their time together. Like most Lokis, they seem cursed to a life of loneliness. Sylvie learned as a child that a higher power believed she should not exist, and has spent a lifetime hiding out in places where any friends she might make will soon die in an apocalypse. Our Loki’s past isn’t quite so stark, but the knowledge that his birth father abandoned him, while his adoptive father never much liked him, have left permanent scars that govern a lot of his behavior. The defining element of Classic Loki’s backstory is that he spent a long time alone on a planet, and only got busted by the TVA when he attempted to reconnect with his brother and anyone else he once knew. This is a hard existence, for all of them. And while it does not forgive them their many sins(*), it helps contextualize them, and give them the knowledge to try to be better versions of themselves.

(*) Loki at one point even acknowledges that, for him, it’s probably only been a few days since he led an alien invasion of New York that left many dead, though due to TVA shenanigans, far more time may have passed.

For that matter, Mobius is not the stainless hero he once thought of himself as. While he and Sylvie are tooling around the Void in a pizza delivery car (because of course they are), he admits that he committed a lot of sins by believing that the ends justified the means, and was wrong. He doesn’t know who he is before the TVA stole and factory rebooted him, but he knows that he wants something better for himself and the universe, and takes the stolen TemPad to open up a portal to his own workplace in hopes of tearing down the TVA once and for all. Before he goes, though, he and Loki share a hug that feels a lot more poignant than it should, given that these characters have only spent parts of four episodes of TV together. It’s a testament to Hiddleston, Wilson, Waldron, and company (Tom Kauffman wrote this week’s script) that their friendship felt so alive and important in such a short amount of time.

The same can be said for Loki and Sylvie’s relationship, however we’re choosing to define it. Though they briefly cuddle together under a blanket that Loki conjures, they move no closer to romance than they were already. If anything, Mobius’ accusations of narcissism in last week’s episode seem to have made both of them pull back a bit from where they seemed to be heading back on Lamentis. But the connection between them is real, whatever exactly it is. And their ability to take down Alioth — to tap into the magic that Classic Loki always had, and to fulfill Loki’s belief that “I think we’re stronger than we realize” — by working together is inspiring and joyful. Without all this nuanced and engaging character work, Loki would still be an entertaining ride, but it’s the marriage of wild ideas with the human element that’s made it so great.

Of course, now comes the hard part. Endings have rarely been an MCU strength, give or take something like the climax of Endgame, and the finales of the two previous Disney+ shows were easily their weakest episodes. The strange, glorious, beautiful machine that Waldron and Herron have built doesn’t seem like it’s heading for another generic hero/villain slugfest, but then, neither did WandaVision before we got exactly that. This one feels different so far, though. The command of the story, the characters, and the tone are incredibly strong right now. There is a mystery to be solved about who is in the big castle beyond the Void (another Loki makes the most narrative and thematic sense to me, but we’ll see), and a lot to be resolved about what happens to the TVA and our heroes. And maybe there’s some heavy lifting that has to be done in service to the upcoming Dr. Strange or Ant-Man films.

It’s complicated, but on a show that has handled complexity well. Though even if the finale winds up keeping things simpler, that might work. As Loki notes while discussing his initial plan to take down Alioth, “Just because it’s not complicated doesn’t mean it’s bad.” Though as Kid Loki retorts, “It also doesn’t mean it’s good.”

Please be good, Loki finale. Everything up to this point deserves that.

Some other thoughts:

* Most of this week’s most interesting material happens in the Void. But the scenes back at the TVA clarify a few things. First, Ravonna is not the mastermind of all this, and she was very much suckered in by the Time-Keeper robots. But unlike Mobius or Hunter B-15, she’s so conditioned to the mission that even knowing it’s a lie hasn’t really swayed her from her mission. She has Miss Minutes (who herself is much craftier this week) looking into files about the creation of the TVA, but for the most part comes across as someone very happy with a status quo where she gets to be special and pass judgment on the rest of the multiverse.

* Alioth first appeared in 1993’s Avengers: The Terminatrix Objective, a miniseries (written by Mobius inspiration Mark Gruenwald, and with some extremely kewl Nineties art full of shoulder pads, studded collars, and the like) involving Ravonna, Kang, and the off-brand versions of Captain America, Iron Man, and Thor (aka U.S. Agent, War Machine, and Thunderstrike, the latter of whom has yet to appear in the MCU). It’s a sequel to a Nineties crossover event called Citizen Kang. And no, I still don’t buy that Kang will be the one pulling the strings here, if only because it’s really bad storytelling for the big bad of the season to have never appeared or even been mentioned prior to the finale.

* Rather than try to identify every Easter egg visible in the Void’s terrain, I’ll instead highlight three of the most interesting. Right before the Lokis arrive at the hatch, we see a helicopter with Thanos’ name on it. This is a hat tip to an infamous — and often memed — out-of-continuity story where Thanos flies this chopper while trying to steal the Cosmic Cube (aka the Tesseract) from Hellcat. (A little kid gets his hands on it instead and, of course, uses the Cube to conjure up free ice cream.) James Gunn has been agitating for years for the Thanos Copter to be in the MCU. He finally got his wish.

* The other funny one: When the camera pans down the tunnel into Kid Loki’s headquarters, we see Mjolnir buried in the ground, and right below it is a jar containing a very annoyed frog in a Thor costume. This is either Thor himself — whom Loki cursed into amphibianhood in a memorable Walt Simonson storyline — or another character named Simon Walterston (note the backwards tribute to Walt) who later assumed the tiny mantle.

* Also, in one scene you can spot Yellowjacket’s helmet littering the landscape. This might support the theory that the TVA, the Void, etc., all exist in the Quantum Realm, since that’s where the MCU version of Yellowjacket probably went when his suit shorted out and he was crushed to subatomic size. Or it might be more trolling of the fanbase from the company that had WandaVision fans convinced that Mephisto, the X-Men, and/or Reed Richards would be appearing by the season finale.

* Honestly, I would have watched an entire episode that was just Loki, Mobius, and the others arguing about whether Alligator Loki was actually a Loki, or just a gator who ended up with the crown, presumably after eating a real Loki. The suggestion that the gator might be lying — and that this actually supports, rather than undermines, the case for him being a Loki — was just delightful. And hey, if Throg exists in the MCU now, why not Alligator Loki?

* Finally, the MCU films in general are not exactly known for their visual flair, though a few directors like Taika Waititi and Ryan Coogler have been able to craft distinctive images within the franchise’s usual template. Loki, though, is so often wonderful to look at, and particularly when our heroes are stuck in strange environments like Lamentis or the Void. Director Kate Herron and the VFX team work very well together to create dynamic and weird imagery like Sylvie running from Alioth, or the chaotic Loki battle in the bowling alley. Between this show and WandaVision, it appears the Disney+ corner of the MCU has a bit more room to expand its palette. (Falcon and the Winter Soldier, much less so.)

[dalasteller]

shadow and bone spoilers! malina/mal fans this is not for you but it’s not pro-darklina either. i’m an alina x alina supremacist

so, somehow, the show made me like book!malina more than show!malina after weeks of thinking the opposite would be true. i don’t even like book!mal/malina, but my neutrality towards them is nothing compared to how much i detested show!malina.

I WANTED THE TV SHOW TO MAKE ME LOVE THEM. the trailers made me think i would!!! i'd heard screeners and reviewers talk about this epic love story that transcends everything—these two people who would do anything for each other—and i don't disagree, they definitely would. i just wish they would shut the fuck up about it.

sorry.

looking back, i'd rather the show gave us mal with flaws, who wasn't perfect to alina, who would die for her, but still said the wrong thing and flirted with other girls and was afraid of her power at first. archie did a great job. he just couldn't make me love mal, and neither could the writers opting to make him main character no. 2 and alina’s prince in shining armour who supports her endlessly and has never done anything wrong in his life ever. writers, please, why did you think that was a good idea? when i said i wanted a more likeable mal, i meant i wanted his flaws accompanied by positive traits, by compelling backstory, by personality outside of being alina's hot best friend who never noticed her. i didn't mean i wanted a guy who could be wrapped in a gift box and sold as a robo-boyfriend designed for romance.

no, i mean, they really did write him that way.

what i definitely didn't mean i wanted was over an hour of the show dedicated to watching mal’s perspective of hunting the stag and making besties with his military bros and writing letters to alina and getting shot at a bunch of times instead of letting the book characters who were already beloved by fans get the screentime they deserved. what i wouldn't do to have gotten more genyalina and well-written zoya instead of mal dissecting deer shit...

you would think with how much talk about malina basically being soulmates, childhood flashbacks, fighting and nearly dying for each other at least four times (and did i mention more narration about being soulmates?) that i would take the bait and just let malina set sail. but this show held me at gunpoint for eight hours straight and told me that these two are going to have the same cultural influence as new romeo and juliet and that if i disagree i am going to be killed on the spot. because of this, i have now died.

don't tell me what to do, narrative, because i'm not going to do it!

i am also annoyed that they took the time to redesign mal in perfect childhood-friends-to-lovers dreamboat fashion but refused to retcon zoya's stupid misogyny-fueled bitchy YA girl arc and instead made it even worse by having her be racist to alina? what was the thought process there? they seriously fucked her over. i tried to pretend it didn't happen moving forward but why do they want to use racism as a tool for developing a "bully" character anyway, especially a woc? am i meant to forget about it? they lost me there. i feel like the female characters, with the exception of inej, generally weren't given the same care the male characters were. there was a lot of sidelining in favour of mal's redemptive rewrite and the darkling's 15 minutes of half-assed backstory and crying in every scene for some reason. “make me your villain” .... okay, simpboy, i’ll try my best.

i've already talked about why i hated mal's role (i clarify his role, not his character, because there was literally nothing wrong with him and that’s why i hated him so much) but i'm going to address it from the perspective of my love for alina and why i think this decision was so disrespectful to her. alina in the books was already in need of more characterization, time for herself and her internal development as opposed to her relationship with the three male love interests she acquires through the series. somehow this show took a main character already underused in her own story (though at least the books are told from her pov) and neglected her even further. alina is tied almost entirely to her male counterparts, mal especially, but i'd say the darkling is used as a narrative rebound. i think they both have chemistry and can serve a purpose in the story but the emphasis on codependency is impossible to ignore.

in the first four episodes, every scene that could have been alina struggling to settle into a new life and dealing with the emotional weight of her pressure as a saint was instead about mal. she writes him letters, and cries over him, and slips him into conversations that have nothing to do with him, and gets sad after slipping him into conversations that have nothing to do with him, and can't use her power because she's thinking of him, and then only decides to fully accept her power because of his absence.

alina's feelings are lended to nothing but her missing mal. he isn't just her best friend and love, he's this colossal piece of her identity that she doesn't get to exist without, even when he's gone. the show's exhaustive attempt to make mal loveable and make malina an epic love story turns our female protagonist into a sulking, miserable shell of a character everytime he's mentioned, which, by the way, is like, every two minutes. and apparently it's necessary to draw parallels to the same three flashbacks in all of them. i knoowwwwwwww, they held hands and now they can't anymore, i knowwww. they ran through a meadow, i knowwwwwwwwwwwwww.

watching her scenes almost drove me to printing out a bechdel test and ticking off as many boxes as possible.

i hated it. it made me sad.

i wanted more alina. i want her power to be her own. i wanted that tension between her and mal in the books because his flaws gave her a chance to stand up for herself and say that she liked being powerful. that summoning is a part of her and she would never give it up. that there was a tinge of corruption, of greed, of wanting to be the sun summoner, and it was intriguing! mal's issue of not accepting alina's power allowed her to express how much it meant to her. i wanted the alina who said "the night was velvety black and strewn with jewels. the hunger struck me suddenly. i want them, i thought." i wanted a hint of the sun summoner who decided when it got dark and relished in it (yes i know this can be expanded upon in s2). alina has a cocky side, her insecurities are explored and she finds strength in her new gift and eventually has to find strength outside of it, but in the show the catalyst to her powers is mal. always. is it romantic? sure. but it's hard to enjoy the romance when all we see of alina is her romantic connection to mal. can't she be more than that?

[lazarus-lazuli]

Loki and Sylvie aren’t endgame and here’s why:

(SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 4 OBVIOUSLY)

The TL;DR version: The director herself confirmed that their relationship is not going to be romantic. I could literally just leave it at that. Please calm down and stop clogging the tag with outraged posts about something that’s not even happening, thank you.

But I also want to argue that the episode itself makes it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR that they’re not gonna be a couple. Hit the read more to learn why I think that. Or don’t, honestly the fact the director confirmed this should be enough to assuage you, I’m just actively choosing to be annoying at this point.

If you pay attention to the text of the episode, it’s pretty clear that no, Loki and Sylvie aren’t getting together. Heteronormativity in media may have corrupted us enough to jump to that conclusion (because in most shows a man and woman interacting for five or more minutes in a meaningful way = romance), but I don’t think that was the writers’ intention. Hell, if anything, the episode makes a stronger argument for Mobius and Loki getting together which I’ll touch on a bit as well. And while I do ship them I don’t think they’ll be endgame either since Disney is incredibly fucking homophobic and we’re lucky we even got bi Loki; the Pacific Ocean will be a desert before we get to see him with another man. 

So a few ways the episode told us that Sylvie and Loki aren’t gonna get together:

1) Ravonna and Mobius have a VERY important conversation in her office, not just in the sense of Mobius realizing “Oh shit I’ve been lied to”, but in the sense that she talks about their relationship. She makes a point to define their relationship as a friendship several times, while also making it clear that they have a deep emotional connection to each other - one that transcends time and space. It’s a type of relationship that often gets skewed as romantic when we’re talking about tropes, but no, in their case it’s set in stone that their relationship is completely platonic. Character wise the whole thing gets thrown away since she was very much onto him and proceeds to stab him in the back minutes later, but writing wise it was a very important point they were trying to make to the audience. Like, it was important both in universe and for the audience but for different reasons, if that makes sense. Since they established this strong connection between Loki and Sylvie at the very beginning of the episode - strong enough to cause a fucking Nexus Event - they also wanted to sprinkle in the idea that a strong connection does not necessarily equal a romantic one.

2) The main thing people took away from the conversation between Loki and Mobius was that Mobius was jealous - which, yeah, that’s valid and I agree. I mean he was deadass acting like a scorned boyfriend who just caught his partner cheating on him. But another big takeaway that people need was not only did the show itself confirm that Sylvie x Loki is gross (I mean for God’s sake they’re the exact same person; Sylvie was literally confirmed to just be the AFAB version of him IN THE COLD OPENING), but the whole idea of them being together all came from Mobius. All we know is that Loki cares for her - the feelings he’s experiencing are confusing for him because he’s a loner who hasn’t had any friends at all until Mobius and her came along. The one who’s defining those feelings by insisting they must be romantic is Mobius. This is to get under Loki’s skin because he is jealous. Loki never once gives into the idea of their relationship being romantic, even when Mobius lies about Sylvie being pruned just to get a reaction. Loki may not know EXACTLY how he feels since it’s all new to him, but even he’s not obtuse enough to think that he’s actually falling in love with himself. Mobius is just angry at Loki in this scene for multiple reasons, thus all of the romantic interpretation falls on his shoulders. He’s literally just jumping to conclusions. 

Also when he says Sylvie got pruned Loki just gets visibly upset for a moment, but when Mobius himself gets pruned Loki CRIES and is fucked up about it to the point that even Sylvie picks up on it. So make of that what you will (I will make of that that Loki and Mobius are IN LOVE). 

3) Final point: people got REALLY IN THEIR FEELINGS about the scene where Loki tries to confess to Sylvie. And yeah at first glance, it is somewhat set up like a romantic scene - someone actually posted “what in the Y/N x Loki is this” and honestly I had to laugh at that one because I agree it kind of has that vibe, especially since he starts the whole thing off by saying he’s new to feeling the way he does. But based on everything we know about them and everything that happened up until that point of the episode, LOKI IS VERY MUCH NOT ABOUT TO CONFESS HIS UNDYING LOVE FOR HER. His feelings for sure, but not necessarily romantic ones. He even has his hands on her shoulders - a gesture of affection, but not one that can be read as exclusively romantic. He’s just grabbing her attention, holding her there (since she does seem freaked out - maybe in her mind she thinks he’s about to confess his love, which is actually pretty funny). While there may be a misunderstanding on the part of the characters, I think the text itself makes it pretty clear that no, Loki is not in love with this woman. He ultimately just wants to tell her he cares about her and wants to stick with her through whatever happens; that they’ll make it through together. If you’re cynical you can be like “It was at the very least set up to LOOK romantic to bait the audience” and yeah, I see it too. That’s completely possible. Granted, instead of baiting people with a “OOO, what’s he gonna say?!”, it more so rubbed salt in the wounds of the people who have been queerbaited by TV shows in the past because all they could see was “Bi Man Falls for His Female Self Then Dies” which is bad so I can’t blame them for being upset. But given the context of the show it’s also very much not what happened. 

And hey, I’m just as affected by queerbaiting - I was a Magician’s fan for fuck’s sake. I know queerbaiting when I see it and as far as I’m concerned, if there’s any queerbaiting in this show, it is NOT coming from the interpretation of Loki literally wanting to fuck himself. We will be donning our clown wigs and big red noses for a different reason (that reason involving Disney being Disney). If you’re choosing to be optimistic about the possibility of Loki and Mobius getting together, I fucking commend you and hope you’re right. It would be really amazing and satisfying if they did. I’m not holding my breath, though. Sadly just because Loki x Sylvie won’t be a thing doesn’t mean Loki x Mobius will be, either.

Anyway, I hope this explanation helped to clear up the fact that no, Marvel is not advocating for selfcest and never was. This isn’t Johnny Test. I think it’s good to be critical of Disney and Marvel because they’re both very flawed, but that requires actually watching the content instead of making surface level assumptions based on what you saw at first glance, you know?

[murphystartedthefire]

Okay it’s been some time, I’ve had some days,

MEMORI FINALE DISCOURSE ANONS LET’S GO

My feelings are mixed! They really are. My overwhelming finale reaction was “huh, I guess that wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been” followed by a long, numb, aching feeling in my chest, followed by peace, followed by “they can still grow babies on Bardo though, can’t they?” (that’s a side conversation)

So I’m not telling ANYONE else how to feel, because I’m still sorting my own feelings out. I certainly appreciate that this is a hard ending to swallow for Murphy fans who don’t like Memori. Remember, even for you it’s not as bad as it could’ve been since he’s alive and happy and with everyone else at the end!! But the way he got there basically by accident and was otherwise 100% gonna choose death over living without Emori as the final culmination of his story... not everybody’s gonna find that super romantic and beautiful, especially if you’ve felt for seasons that Murphy’s Epic Love For Emori is not your favorite thing about his character, or you actively think their relationship is unhealthy, toxic, etc.

(I promise I’m only gonna yell SHE’S MADE THAT CHOICE TO SACRIFICE HERSELF AND DIE WITH HIM TOO once. I’ll just say it once. I needed to get it out of my system, it’s my tumblr. I know it’s not the same because they survived all those situations. Then again they also, incredibly, survived this one.)

As someone who does love Murphy’s Epic Love For Emori? And expected it to play a big role in the end of the show, but never imagined it happening like this? Yeah, it got me. It made me cry. It’s making me cry now.

Murphy and Emori are THE love story of “The 100″ for me, the way normal(?) shippers felt about Bellarke or Clexa. Without them I wouldn’t have made this sideblog or ever engaged with this fandom. Without them I would have stopped watching the show pretty early in season 6, if not earlier. I’m not going to act like this conclusion to their arc wasn’t *extremely validating* and emotional for me.

If I have something to criticize about this ending (pre-transcendence epilogue), it’s really a problem that was built up long before the finale and especially in this season. I wish they weren’t so isolated. I wish Emori wasn’t basically the only thing Murphy valued or made his life worth living, ‘cause that was never fair to either of them. I wish their love had made them stronger and more connected to others, instead of constantly just anchored to each other, dead or alive.

“The 100″ might’ve been better overall -- certainly more watchable for me -- if they were part of it and not on a whole other show sometimes. On the other hand, my lizard brain only wants to see them together, so being the center of each other’s world to the very end, to the point where they’re SHARING ONE UNCONSCIOUS BODY, only makes me ship them harder. It’s a double-edged sword.

The whole mind drive thing... you don’t have to think it was the right choice or the healthy choice, even. You just have to get that it was Murphy’s choice, and completely on brand for him. He never wanted to just ‘survive’ if it meant losing her. It was an insane gesture that he committed to with every fibre of his being.

Look, once the mind drive was in Murphy’s head -- once Emori was dead, honestly -- there was no “good” way for it to end. I felt that viscerally as I was watching the episode. (Yes, yes, pre-epilogue, I was proven wrong by magic and aliens.) Murphy could stay in there and die with her, or Emori could push him out and convince him to let her go. He’d still get to say his last goodbyes with her, but she could more firmly insist he needs to move on -- I briefly wondered if that’s how the scene would end.

But I wouldn't BELIEVE Murphy moving on and letting go. I've said in like 20 different posts that the ending I wanted LEAST was for Emori to be killed and shatter Murphy’s soul and force him to be alone. (Not least because holy hell I didn’t want to watch a WOC violently fridged for his survival and character growth.) The second-worst ending to me would be him dying and her surviving.

It wouldn’t work without another full season (at least!) of Murphy coming to terms with Emori's death and finding SOME way to cope and be happy again, which of course in the real world I’d think was possible. In the world of fiction, we didn’t have time for that, and to rush him to the Acceptance stage of grief would be completely unearned.

Seeing Emori all bloody and contorted and glassy-eyed on that table while Murphy falls apart was... so, so fucking awful in a way that’s going to haunt me for a long time. I made a gif set with ONE shot of her in it, and it was somehow the LEAST upsetting one and still like the worst thing I’ve ever put on my blog. It didn’t need to be as ugly and graphic as it was. It did not need to linger on her body that way. But I think *why* they made it like that, besides sadism and shock value, is so even the audience felt his need to undo it and not have that be our last memory of her either.

So yeah... on a gut level, on a story level, it was so satisfying IMO. The goddamn tear of relief and fulfillment falling down his face when he’s holding her again, and he never has to let her go for the rest of his short life. The way that every other Memori scene has led to this. I’ll love you forever, even if we die today. To the anon who asked if you’re a bad person for liking it? You’re a human person responding in the intended way to a love story!!

I like a whole lot of tropes in fictional romances that aren't great or admirable in reality. Is this particular form of attempted “suicide” -- where doing it LITERALLY allowed him to reach her in the mindspace and see the light in her eyes again and spend their last hours/days together in a happy place -- likely to spawn any copycat behavior or ideation? I doubt it, certainly not as much as other triggery crap they’ve done on this show. I'm willing to not worry too hard about whether Memori are Setting a Good Example for how people should react to a loved one's death, and instead be like "Hell yeah those two deserved to go out like Romeo & Juliet, and then be brought back to life just as a bonus anyway.”

It's not REALISM and should not be TREATED as realism, but it was a perfect end to an iconic TV romance where they never could live without each other. That’s where I stand on it right now.

[mediaeval-muse]

Book Review

Descendant of the Crane. By Joan He. New York: Albert Whitman & Company, 2019.

Rating: 2/5 stars

Genre: YA fantasy

Part of a Series? Not yet?

Summary: Princess Hesina of Yan has always been eager to shirk the responsibilities of the crown, but when her beloved father is murdered, she’s thrust into power, suddenly the queen of an unstable kingdom. Determined to find her father’s killer, Hesina does something desperate: she engages the aid of a soothsayer—a treasonous act, punishable by death... because in Yan, magic was outlawed centuries ago. Using the information illicitly provided by the sooth, and uncertain if she can trust even her family, Hesina turns to Akira—a brilliant investigator who’s also a convicted criminal with secrets of his own. With the future of her kingdom at stake, can Hesina find justice for her father? Or will the cost be too high?

***Full review under the cut.***

SPOILERS in the last paragraph of the “Plot” section.

Content/Trigger Warnings: violence, blood, references to torture, slavery

Overview: I really wanted to like this book. I really did. The premise seemed promising, and I loved the idea of a Chinese-inspired fantasy world with a touch of courtroom drama. Unfortunately, there seemed to be too much going on, so much that I couldn’t connect with this book’s characters and the narrative didn’t flow in a way that drew me into the intrigue and mystery. I would have given this book 3 stars on premise alone, but because I didn’t feel like the scenes built on one another, this book only gets 2 stars from me.

Writing: He’s prose is fine for a YA novel in that it is fairly straightforward with a few poetic images sprinkled in here and there to evoke emotion. It’s very similar to a lot of other YA prose I’ve read, and I don’t personally think anything sets it apart. I did notice, however, that would sometimes use imagery or metaphors that I found more confusing than illuminating. For example, He describes a character as taking to the shadows “like a knife in a sheath,” which would have been ok, but the character was supposed to be more dangerous in the shadows - and a sheathed knife isn’t a threat.

I also found that He would reference bits of lore, backstory, or worldbuilding at odd moments, and sometimes, this info wouldn’t be especially relevant. It felt like she was trying to make references to her worldbuilding without infodumping, which is all well and good, but these references would sometimes distract from the main action.

I also thought He’s pacing and focus was off; the trial/mystery plot would sometimes fade to the background, while the tensions with neighboring kingdoms wasn’t really felt until a certain point in the novel, then it disappeared again. Some events received more attention than I think was warranted, while others received less. For example, we get a lot of scenes of Hesina doing paperwork, but then the ending felt rushed and a lot of information was dumped on us after several plot twists. There were times when things would be summarized rather than played out “on screen,” which is ok sometimes, but it often felt like He used summary so she shock the reader rather than lead them on a journey.

And lastly, I noticed that He has the tendency to use constructions where things other than the characters have agency. For example, “fear creeped into her” or “hope fluttered through her” and the like; it wasn’t bad, per se, but it was noticeable, as if He didn’t want her characters to have as much agency.

Plot: Describing this plot is fairly difficult, since, in my opinion, none of the scenes seem to flow or build upon each other to create a structured narrative. It seemed like He wanted to write a courtroom drama, a high fantasy novel, and a political saga, all of which came together to meditate on things like truth, history, and oppression. It was a lot to cram together, so much so that instead of an action-packed saga, I got a narrative that I couldn’t focus on because there wasn’t the time to explore themes or events in detail. In other words, because a lot happened, all events were rushed and felt shallow. The murder trial plot, for example, didn’t feel very developed; all of the courtroom drama felt pretty standard (this suspect couldn’t have done X because she’s left handed and the cut had to have been made by a right handed person) and most of the people who are trying to fabricate evidence are pretty bad at it. The political conflict, too, seems to be an afterthought, as the people’s desperation for salt isn’t really felt (just told to us) and no one seems too bothered about the raids along the border. I think the novel would have worked better if it focused primarily on the trial and following characters as they uncovered evidence that would be important for that trial. Not only would the narrative structure have felt tighter, but I think the courtroom drama could have been a good vehicle to explore the themes that He seemed interested in (things like oppression and truth can definitely come up with the right focus).

I also found myself to be frustrated by the plot twists because many of them felt random. There wasn’t a lot of groundwork that was laid to make them seem plausible, and I personally don’t like twists that I can’t see coming on some level. Don’t get me wrong - I think a little shock is good here and there, but I think plot twists work best when there is some hint that something is awry. The twist with Hesina’s father, for example, felt earned, whereas the ones involving her brother Caiyan and Lilian, felt random. I especially did not like that the whole epilogue was devoted to explaining how one of the plot twists was made possible; the behind-the-scenes action was dumped on us all at once, and I don’t really like it when I read a whole book and am then told “actually, this was happening the whole time” without some hints during the narrative that there is a bigger picture.

Also, just a quick note: while the plot twist with the Tenets is interesting, I feel like it has the possibility to be a scapegoat in the vein of “prejudice is due to a magical curse rather than something real and ingrained that we have to do hard, continuous work to remove.”

Characters: Hesina, our protagonist, is a Princess who becomes Queen for the purposes of having control over her father’s murder investigation. Personally, I found Hesina to be somewhat bland. She’s not really a ruthless ruler or cunning strategist; most of her decisions are driven by emotion, which can be a good character flaw, but it wasn’t really balanced out by a trait that I found particularly defining. The most she has going for her is that she’s pretty brave and is sympathetic to people who are oppressed, but I don’t think Hesina developed enough for me to really see her character as having an arc. I did sympathize with her dilemmas, especially when she had to make difficult political decisions, but I wanted a little more from her.

Akira, the convict-turned-lawyer who is tasked with solving the case, is a ho-hum love interest who Hesina chooses to represent the crown in her father’s murder case because a Sooth vaguely tells her to “find the convict with the rod.” Akira is written as somewhat mysterious, with skills that seem to come out of nowhere: he is good at fighting, knows some languages, and seems to be good at understanding chemical compounds. All these seemed to be laid as breadcrumbs toward figuring out his tumultuous past; however, I didn’t feel like I was dying to know more because Akira is so aloof and fades in and out of the background. We also don’t really see him putting together clues or explaining how he figured things out; most of the time, we get a summary of what he said (”Akira explained this chemical reaction”), so he doesn’t feel like a major player in the plot. Even his background is dumped on us all at once in summary, which made it less emotional to read. The romance between Akira and Hesina also felt a little forced. While it doesn’t take up a lot of space in the story, it did feel a little random. I didn’t really understand why Hesina decided she wanted to kiss Akira, and the emotional moments they exchanged didn’t really feel genuine.

Supporting characters also felt a little one-dimensional, such as Hesina’s mother, who doesn’t get along with her daughter (because of mental illness? other reasons?) but does get along with her son. Civil servants also weave in and out of the story at convenient moments, and commoners are fairly faceless. I did, however, enjoy the family dynamics between Hessina, her brother Sanjing, and their half-siblings, as it created some complicated personal and official court tensions, while also showing some family affection that transcended “legitimate” bloodlines. The dynamics between Hessina, Caiyan, and Lilian were especially well-done, as they seemed to balance each other out. I would have liked to see more instances where Caiyan’s and Lilian’s experience living on the street affected how the plot went; He tells us this detail, but I think it only comes in handy once.

Other: I don’t think every fantasy novel needs a lot of world-building, but more support in this book would have been helpful. I might have missed some details because a lot was going on, but I constantly found myself asking questions like “What are the limits of Hesina’s powers as queen? Why can’t she command this person to do this thing? Why bargain with her main enemy, Xia Zhong, instead of expose him right away?” I also think some of He’s terminology needed to be reworked, as she used phrases like “sticks of black powder,” “Investigation Bureau,” and “pillow log” - terms that got the main idea across, but felt a little clunky.

I did, however, like the idea of the Eleven and the Tenets, especially their role as historical people/documents that are idolized and not challenged. There’s a real opportunity in there for some exploration of how history is sanitized or how bad things are overlooked in the attempt to present the current state of a nation in the best possible light - it reminds me of the ways in which America idolizes the Founding Fathers yet glosses over aspects like slave ownership.

TL;DR: Descendant of the Crane suffers from a shallow exploration of too many plot threads, plot twists which feel in service to shock value, and a forgettable main character and love interest. While it does have some interesting themes, such as the idolization of historical figures, there was ultimately too much going on that I found it hard to focus on any one thing for long.

[l-egionaire]

Queer Platonic Elsa and Anna evidence.

So, after making my first post about the possibility of Elsa and Anna being Queerplatonic, I went and did some reading on Queerplatonic relationships, talked to some tumblr users who better understood the topic and even read some fanfiction that portrayed the topic. While I still don’t think I’m an expert, I do feel I can say that Elsa and Anna might have a relationship like this. So, I’m going to give some evidence. But before I do, I want to provide a definition of what a queerplatonic relationship is for those who don’t know. It’s defined as

“a relationship which is more intense and intimate than is considered common or normal for a "friendship", but doesn't fit the traditional sexual-romantic couple model. It is characterized by a strong bond, love, and emotional commitment, yet is not perceived by those involved as "romantic". The relationship may or may not have some elements or degree of sexuality/eroticism at various times, or none - it doesn't matter, because sexuality/sexual exclusivity is not what the relationship is organized around. It's defined by the intensity and significance of the emotional connection.

The people involved do not have to identify as "queer", it's a type of relationship experienced by and available to anybody regardless of their sexual orientation, romantic orientation, or (non-)monogamy. The people involved in a queerplatonic relationship may consider themselves partners, life-partners, a couple, a triad, or any other term that implies the relationship is meaningful, committed and intimate.”

While I don’t feel that they’d classify their relationship as this way due to the term not existing in their point in history, I do feel it fits them well. So, I’m going to provide some evidence that pertains to other facts about queerplatonic relationships and correlate that with things about Elsa and Anna’s relationship.

1. Queerplatonic relationships are often the most important ones in the persons life.

In a queerplatonic relationship, a persons relationship with their queerplatonic partner is the most important, even more than romantic ones. And that’s very clear with Elsa and Anna. Anna loves Elsa more than anything else and Elsa loves Anna more than anything. Anna does have a relationship with Kristoff and while, it’s not any less important or strong, it’s clear that Elsa comes first to Anna. While it wouldn’t be easy to just break things off with Kristoff, If Anna had to choose between him or Elsa, you know she’d choose her sister. Because she’s who she loves the most.

2. Queerplatonic partners have a level of emotional and sometimes physical intimacy beyond what most people would consider normal.

Intense Emotional and physical intimacy can be signs of a queerplatonic relationship. They have a close emotional bond with one another different than the bond usually common with friends. They are also sometimes very physically affectionate. Things like hand-holding, snuggling, cuddling, hugging and occasionally even kissing can be part of that. Elsa and Anna are extremely emotionally and physically close. They are each other’s most trusted person and confidante. They share things with each other they wouldn’t share with anyone else, even significant others. They have an intense and powerful love that I personally feel transcends even familial affection. And as for physical affection, in many of the shorts and things they are often seen hugging, holding hands, and just being in extremely close proximity. While this might not seem odd for them being sisters, it’s still clear they are extremelly comfortable with physical intimacy with each other.

3. Queerplatonic Partners often plan their lives around each other.

Partners in a queer romantic relationship will feel their relationship is so strong, they don’t wish to be separated and usually plan their lives so that their partner is still with them. I feel this specifically pertains to Anna. Though she expresses a clear desire to escape her loneliness and the pain of her past, she has no desire to leave Arendelle or her sister. If she gets married, she lives in the palace and you can tell when Elsa tells her to leave that she doesn’t want to do that. She even is willing to die for her because for her life without Elsa means nothing. And the same is true vice versa. Elsa has no desire to live without Anna.

4. Queerplatonic relationships are often seen as romantic.

People in Queerplatonic relationships can occasionally act so close that they are seen as being in a romantic relationship. Elsa and Anna’s interactions throughout the movies and other media is often seen as being a sign that they have romantic feelings for one another. Indeed, some romantic tropes are used in regards to their relationship. Even people who see their relationship as being platonic describe them as being soulmates and indeed, that’s how some queerplatonic partners would describe their significant other, as their soulmate or their other half.

5. Queerplatonic Relationships are common among asexuals.

Queerplatonic relationships, while not limited by sexuality, are common among asexuals as replacements or substitutes for romantic relationships. While it may not be canon, many fans of the Frozen franchise perceive queen Elsa as being asexual. It could be easy to see the queen forgoing any sort of attempt at romance and instead choosing to be solely with her sister.

6. Conclusion

Now, I know some of you reading might have still have one question: can siblings have a queerplatonic relationship? Well.....I don’t know. The sources I’ve found usually focus on talking about friends and the people I’ve asked all say they don’t quite know whether that term can be applied to a relationship between siblings, BUT I did find an analysis about the brothers from Supernatural through the lense of a queerplatonic relationship and I feel some of those ideas could apply to Elsa and Anna. I’ve also read a piece of fanfiction where the premise-Elsa and Anna forgoing romantic or sexual relationships to be with each other- is somewhat similar to the concept and can be found at this URL:

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11667496/6/

Once again, while I’ve done some reading on the subject and talked about it with other people, If anyone more knowledgable on the topic feels inclined to say anything, please go ahead, i’d want to make sure I’m not offending anyone or misrepresenting the idea. But I felt I just wanted to present this evidence to the idea.

[phantasieandmirare]

Talking about my demiromanticism

I just have to write and get these thoughts down because if I don’t I’ll never be able to summarize these feelings ever again, I don’t expect anyone to read this but if I make it private or hide it in drafts or anything I’ll never see it again and this is important to me.

The thing about my demiromanticism and romantic relationships is that any desire I have to have one is largely based in cultural amatonormativity and the fact that I feel like I’m being judged or pitied for not having a romantic relationship, especially as I get older and I can feel the people around me starting to wonder when it will happen and I can see people I knew in school getting married and having kids (for some at the tender young age of nineteen). I made the mistake on going on Facebook yesterday and the very first thing that popped up was my best friend from elementary having a photoshoot with her boyfriend. And at first I mistook my emotions at seeing that for jealousy, but that’s not what it was: my anger and sadness and the mini-breakdown I had was based in the fear of being judged for not having what she has, and jealousy at not having that kind of connection with someone that she has. Because the second I saw those photos the first thing that popped into my head was the fear that she would come down one day and see me and we’d get to talking and the conversation would turn to the topic of partners and I’d go ‘Oh yeah I’m still single’ and she would say ‘Oh I’m sorry’ or ‘Well you better get on that!’. I wasn’t angry or jealous of her boyfriend, I was afraid of being judged. 

I just don’t want to be judged for not being in a romantic relationship or being ‘picky’ or ‘stubborn’ or not having the proclivities for it in the first place. Because that’s all I see and hear: people who aren’t in relationships are sad or need to be pushed or need friends to set them up on a blind date and women over thirty who aren’t married are spinsters and cat ladies and are people to be pitied and I just...that’s my problem. Because it’s all about the amatonormativity of our culture and the focus on romantic relationships. Everyone’s always asking about someone special or when you’re going to get married or that you should download this dating app or go on this blind date and it just drives me crazy because it feels like I’m being pushed on all sides into something that to me doesn’t feel real and would not feel real in the moment. Because if I tried a dating app or went on a blind date I would almost certainly have to fake any romantic interest or make it clear from the get go that hey, this needs to take time and we need to get to know each other and for the love of God can we just please be friends to start and if you tell me you love me in a week or want to move in together in a month or try to pop the question before I even know what your favorite color is then I’m done and that’s not something that I think someone on a dating app would want to hear, that you just want to be friends. It’s when society tells me what they think I need that I start to feel angry and sad and afraid. Not want. Not need. It’s the fear of being judged and pressured.

Now don’t get me wrong, I would love a romantic relationship. I love reading and watching and writing romance. I love video games where I can romance characters. But the thing about the stories is that they are based hugely in time and in building that relationship (and this is largely excluding Hallmark or Disney-esque stories where characters meet and fall in love and get married in three days because no). Stories where the characters know each other, hang out, go on adventures together, and maybe eventually fall in love are my favorite because that’s what I feel. A trilogy where the characters know each other for a few years and then kiss at the very end makes way more sense than characters who meet on page 50 and are using the L-word on page 150. Those are far more real to me than love at first sight stories. They’re built on time and friendship rather than the starting goal of ‘This is a person I’m going to marry’. If I experience romance then that’s the kind of slow burn stuff I want. The time is what makes it real, not throwing around the L-word after a week.

And I’m certainly capable of romance. The only time I’ve been in love was with my best friend who I will have known for ten years in September. I realized I was in love with her four years in after 100% daily communication. So I know that it’s possible and that I can have real, genuine romantic feelings for other people, which is why I identify as demiromantic and not fully aromantic. But when someone comes in and tries to push, when a guy I went to school with texted me and was saying stuff like ‘Oh I just want someone to cuddle with’ or ‘I miss you :(’ or stuff like that when we hadn’t talked in years and I barely knew the guy, I panic. I shut down. I feel nothing. This isn’t real. We don’t know each other. Why are you trying to get all up in my business when we know nothing about each other? So that’s why I’m demiromantic instead of aromantic. Because it can happen, but I need time and a connection before I feel anything. I’d like a romantic relationship, but I want it to happen in it’s own time and on my terms and not just because some woman from my church or an old friend from elementary tsks at me because it’s so sad that I’m not in a relationship or it’s weird that I’ve never been kissed and I’m not married. I don’t care about that. I don’t need that. I can live my entire life without that. And if by chance I do get to have that, then I want it to be on my terms, and the person has to be the right person because my Mama told me to keep my standards where they are and to not lower them and I’ll be damned if I let someone slip through just cause Hallmark wants me to know that my life isn’t fulfilled without a special someone when I’m perfectly happy as I am.

I suppose that what I really want out of life is just a connection. I don’t care if it’s romantic. I just want to connect with someone on a deep level, deep enough that we’re comfortable with each other. Maybe I meet a roommate or multiple roommates and we all hit it off and eventually buy a house and move in together and just live our lives and maybe that develops into something more but it doesn’t have to because it’s about the connection, not about romance. I’m aware that I’m describing a QPR which is a concept that used to confuse me but now I get it, and it sounds incredible. Like that one Reddit post about the gay man and his lesbian roommate getting married because they love each other and can’t imagine spending their lives without each other and they consider each other to be their soulmate even though they’re not romantically or sexually compatible but it’s not romantic or sexual in the slightest. Or those three friends from high school who got houses right next to each other and knocked down the fences in their adjoining backyards so they’d all be connected. Just having a connection with someone that transcends friendship. Again, it would be nice, so nice to have a romantic relationship, but I don’t need it. I just want to connect with someone who I can see, and touch, and talk to, and spend time with, and get to know, and maybe it becomes romance or maybe it never does, it’s just the fact that I want someone who I can just be with and to live my life with those connections, and I don’t want anyone to judge me for not being in a romantic relationship when I’m fulfilled as I am. That’s all I want. A judgement-free connection that’s free to become whatever it wants to be, whether it’s romantic or familial or entirely platonic, that’s all I want. That’s all I want.

So yeah. I don’t know if a single word of that makes sense. But that’s why realizing that I’m on the aromantic spectrum and more specifically that I’m demiromantic is so hugely important to me. To know that there’s a reason that I feel this way and that it’s real and not me being picky or stubborn. And to realize that my feelings about other people in relationships isn’t jealousy or want but just the frustration with amatonormativity and people being nosy about it and just wanting a connection. Being aro/demiro is so important to me because it tells me that it’s fucking okay, that I’m okay, that what I feel is real and valid, that I don’t need this to be whole, that I’m not alone and that everything is going to be okay, and seeing green and gray and white and a black triangle means the world to me because it’s like coming home. I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay.