#i think this shit may be painful

[hcuyk]

just brainstromed more thoughts and. oh my god. what a fucking RIDE this fic will be

[cherrysnax]

I hate asking but I can’t draw due to chronic pain and my gfs last job literally made them develop asthma and we are very desperate right now. we’ve been surviving off of my gfs last paycheck and my savings and making it stretch but we just can’t anymore

we are two black disabled lesbians in a household of 6. we don’t have many groceries and our main priority is my little brother, my cat and my grandma. my gf is trying to get a job but is currently facing employment discrimination and is getting ghosted and rejected constantly. atm I’m STILL waiting to speak to a doctor because my chronic pain is making it to where I can’t stand or hold anything heavier than a drawing without significant difficulty.

usually I would offer commissions but I’m in too much pain to draw, I’m sorry. I just wanna be able to get some groceries

my PayPal is here

my cashapp is https://cash.app/$silvertheestallion and my gfs is $Peachjammn

my Venmo is @cherryadventure2

thank you for reading

[uncanny-tranny]

I think what might actually help the families of trans loved ones is to actually engage with where the trans person is at - especially if the family isn't quite understanding yet. When I came out, I was completely alone in figuring out my manhood. I had peers and I had exposed myself to so many trans people who explored gender, and while it was amazing, it isn't quite the same at times. I grieve quietly, sometimes, about all the missed opportunities that might have just made it easier for my family to have seen how utterly happy I was. It took them a very long time to actually notice that I was happy, especially once I got on testosterone. I'm lucky that they saw that happiness eventually, and slowly accepted it. My manhood is completely detached from their influence, both to my relief and chagrin. It's sad to me that I learned to shave from a kind online stranger, somebody who didn't even have a father and yet, I do. I have a father. I grieve at the loss of a potential shared experience. I grieve about the pain I went through when I was in that stage of transition, especially because it was raw and vulnerable. I grieve that many trans people today are traversing the path I had to, because it's sometimes lonely (even when you do have other forms of support).

It's hard to know that I will never have gotten my sense of being from my family. In many ways, it has severed a lot of connection with them because there were so many times that I was begging them to see happiness when they were focused on the idea that I was almost in a state of purgatory - flesh which felt warm but held no familiarity to them. I don't harbor ill-will toward them, I hope I don't leave the impression that I despise them. I understand what they felt, even if I can't conceptualize it myself. However, it's a raw wound in my heart, and I don't want to leave anybody else feeling that way, either.

[xbraveheartx]

Suddenly smacked in the face by the implication of Romeo's message where he says "I remember you, so there's no reason for us to fight. I suppose."

I always thought the wording was weird, but didn't think too much on it... Until recently after we discussed some datamined stuff in the Carmeo/Promeo server. There's a scrapped line (where P was supposed to speak) that says "I may not remember, but I'm still your son" during the NP fight, and while the scrapped lines are their own can of worms, let's focus on the memory parts.

I had always thought that once a puppet woke up, they would just get their memories back. But the fact seems to be this: There are select memories that come back to give bits and pieces of their past that "wake" them up-- cause them to change, as we see with P and the necklace; As we see from the spliced memories at the Black Seaside. However, it might not be all one's memories that come back. Whether those spaces stay blank or come back over time, who knows.

What I'm trying to get at here is...

Romeo's memories might only consist of Carlo at the time of waking. Carlo was what woke Romeo-- "I remember you"-- He had the necklace, he knew from who it was; He recognized the face P was modeled after. "So there's no reason for us to fight, I suppose"-- there's a lack of confidence in the wording here. Friends aren't supposed to fight, right? That's what his memory tells him, at least.

And the only memories P tends to get in regards to his past? Those in relation to Romeo, his aspirations, and of his own death. Seemingly, these are the things most important to him.

They were the most important people to each other; They remembered each other, just one too late than the other.

[neptunesailing]

hades art dump part 2

[dailykugisaki]

Day 113 | id in alt

It's Fushiguro's fault that he does it every five seconds. He lives and breathes mahoraga.

[good-to-drive]

I totally agree with the general consensus that Ringo provided a lot of emotional support and coolheadedness to the other beatles to the point where they'd have probably killed each other without him but I do also wonder sometimes how much of that is being supernaturally patient and easygoing and how much of it is Ringo just having a tumultuous and isolated childhood where he was never taught to recognize and assert his own emotional needs so he became a blank slate on which others could process their emotions

(And tbh I also wonder how an inability to access or assert his feelings may have contributed to his tendency to process pain by numbing himself and the pretty shitty way he treated women)

[m-practice]

i’ll be fully honest i kind of missed the point of Ulysses Dies at Dawn. originally had no thoughts on its ending other than “ouhh death as a form of freedom” which is real as hell but i fucking.

i missed the fact that Ulysses dying at dawn was a plot twist. i mean, we’re introduced to the story, and we hear the title, and we think, sure, guess this fella’s gonna be dying at dawn. and then we’re introduced to the suits to some extent and we think, yeah, this guy’s definitely dying at dawn. hell, they’ll probably be beaten to death

and then you get to the end and they do. the sun rises and they are dead. but by god, they’ve done it on their own terms. they’ve certainly died at dawn, but certainly not in the way the introduction may suggest

[bigmammallama5]

I hadn't realized I still had 16 days of vacation to take by the end of the year (they don't roll over, unfortunately) which means I had only taken barely four up until now, not counting some early Fridays we got this summer. No wonder I'm tired.

I'm gonna go hang out at the studio tomorrow and work on finishing up pots/pumpkins and making slip sample tiles. Maybe I'll take my little tripod and take some time lapse videos throwing stuff, I haven't done that in a few years. Maybe i'll make a poll for the first time and ask what yall are interested in seeing?

[poisoned-pearls]

you know, Idk if I have to say it, but, cut off those people who drain you. You shouldn’t always have to text first, your friendship shouldn’t end because you stopped talking.

And I know it sucks, that feeling of crippling loneliness. But when shit was absolutely the worst for me, when everything had fucking crashed and burned, I met a few people who finally reminded me what it meant to have someone care, and you’ll get it soon

[smartzelda]

I am once again thinking of how we never actually see the name that killed L, just his legal name in "Death Note: How to Read".

I'm thinking of Rem ripping out the pages in her death note she'd written on as she turns to dust, taking too the only written instance of name that killed the world's greatest detective, quite possibly as one last act of defiance against Light Yagami. Thinking of how if she hadn't, Light would have read the final name she'd written, kept inside him the knowledge that he's one of the only humans alive to keep the name that L felt was *his* at the day he died. Sure, he could've just attached hard to how he wanted to remember L, but it doesn't take away the fact that it feels as if he *doesn't* know L's name (because with all the focus he had on finding it out it doesn't erase the care he put into finding it)

I'm thinking of L, who's never really identified himself with a name. Not his legal name, given to him by his guardian, nor any of his number of aliases. He might as well have been L Lawliet just as much as he was the detective L, or Eraldo Coil, or Deneuve, or even his brief stint as Hideki Ryuga. He's been called so many names in his life, but doesn't identify with any of them. I'm thinking of the fact that Near and Mello clearly identify themselves as their legal names despite their similar use of aliases, the way that their legal names are explicitly the names needed to kill them. However, with L, we never see his legal name written down in the note nor do we get to see the name floating above his head. Unlike others from a similar background, we don't know the name that killed him, nor does he seem to identify with his legal name.

Of course, this brings up exactly what the name had killed him was, and if it simply was his legal name, why it wasn't just shown as with other characters. For someone who couldn't seem to form an attachment around any of the many names they've been called, I almost wonder if the name that killed him was something secret, played around with in his head, something only he (and someone with the eyes of course) would know.

[daz4i]

oh my god earlier this week i was talking to my mom abt how i used to constantly feel bad even at elementary school despite having good grades and not having social issues or mental illnesses yet (undiagnosed autism aside). and she really helped me crack the code by saying "yes you always came home angry about (kid in my class) getting better grades than you in math or (friend) being better than you in english even though you knew she is american" and then it clicked. i was simply always a jealous competitive annoying little bitch who has to be the best and most specialest at everything or i may as well die

[yumeyumeappleo]

sometimes i want to change my title but nahh. morning starts without me is too iconic. to me at least

[cervideity]

Expanding on the Vio nightmare idea: do you think Vio ever has nightmares about accidentally killing Green for real at Death Mountain? How does Link feel about these nightmares when he wakes up, considering it's one part of himself killing another?

I DIDNT EVEN CONSIDER THIS... UR MIND... i bet he does . like what a balancing act he had to pull. i bet Vio was stressed out of his mind.

I find it really hard to put myself in Links shoes when thinking about his separate selves and ive been trying ti imagine it all day. I feel like thered be the sense of a Near Missed catastrophe, like stopping yourself from walking into the road the moment a huge truck zooms by. Thats someone he cares about thats him its fine it didnt happen im fine im whole. vertigo.

[souji-upseta]

idgi why ppl find lanque bombyx so unironically ~problematic~ like have people seriously never met a queer person who's exactly like lanque who is shitty and predatory like lanque before? have you never been to a queer slam poetry night? it's a good experience to have. you meet a lot of lanques.

plus it's not like he's the only queer and transmasc rep in homestuck either? bro i fuckin love lanque. i hope his character development involves him becoming even shittier.

[nostalgia-tblr]

did i mention here the SHOCK REALISATION that sylki fic is often about Loki emotionally supporting Sylvie and lokius fic is often about Mobius supporting Loki, so if you combine those it seems fandom has an overall heirarchy of How Fucked Up Everyone Is and it goes:

Mobius >> Loki >> Sylvie

There are a few conclusions we could draw from this, mine is that I feel so very sorry for the hypothetical character that fandom would consider fucked up enough to need to be emotionally supported by Sylvie D: THAT POOR BLORBO D: D: