#i took a break since 2019

[vermillioncrown]

idk idk. the common consensus among the people i've played games with (various games, various social groups, various stakes) is that i am my most diabolical when on a team

"you're the perfect cooperator, co-conspirator" - verm bf

[fridayiminlovemp3]

i didn’t get the tortured poets pop up on spotify … it’s joever for me 😔

[myonmukyuu]

ヤダ！

A moment from Yada! during 4L. Tomoriru was really cute in with how she kept scrunching up every 5 seconds 🥺

I've finally done a Tomoriru for every Setsuna solo now ;w;

Matching clip under the cut:

[syb-la-tortue]

if you see this, you might be a little lost

hello, Syb here, haven’t logged into this account in years, but I’ve noticed this account still get new followers regularly? somehow? how did you even find this place?? XD

my active account on tumblr is SybLaTortue, and yes, it is sadly permanently flagged and I can’t get my cute turtle icon over there and the blog is unsearchable and I have to censor the sexy stuff and it sucks, but I’m not gonna move blog and start posting here unless SybLaTortue gets truly deleted

so like sure, in case of disaster you might find me here, but if you wanna see my art and send me asks on tumblr, SybLaTortue (without the dashes!) is where you’ll find that!

I am also on twitter, where art is posted without censoring (when I post a cropped art on tumblr I’ll always put a link to the twitter mirror) and patreon if you want to support me and see some art months before I post it on here~

[pepprs]

semi-recent sketchbook spreads bc i am having so much fun 🥳 (top left is from 2019 (it’s my favorite spread in the entire book) and the other 3 are from the last couple months but they’re still in progress!)

[thenarrativefoil]

uh oh girlies I'm about to 2:35:23 fish video

[doromoni]

Caffeine of Choice | AA23 , GR63 , LN4

Ships : Platonic! 2019 F1 Rookies x Red Bull Driver! Reader

Genre : Fluff

A/N : wrote some short fluff for our 2019 rookies! Clash of Champions has got me angstyy , I needed a break.

Summary : The Rookies of 2019 cannot believe your choice of caffeine boost.

“You literally race for an energy drink, what do you mean you don’t like Red Bull??” George exclaimed, quite loudly that people now started looking with weird glances.

“Keep your voice low, George! I just got this seat and I’m trying to keep it” You swatted the Brit on the arm.

“Yeah, have fun on that Y/N” Alex snorted, being an Ex Red Bull driver himself.

“ Oh Don’t tell me you drink coffee,” Lando said in disgust, sticking his tongue out for good measure.

You and the 2019 Rookies of Formula 1 were inside the Mercedes Motorhome, and George had smuggled you and Lando in. Alex being there was no problem with him being in Williams and all.

The topic of caffeine boost had suddenly become the topic at hand when Lando had chugged and downed another can of Monster.

And that brings it back to you when you admitted that you don’t like drinking energy drinks … which was awkward since you were driving for the world’s most famous energy drink.

“First of all, yes I drink coffee. But I prefer matcha” I said back to the McLaren Driver as you took his empty can and threw it into the bin

“Grass?? You like to drink grass??” Lando asked horrified by your drink of choice.

“What do you mean, grass?? You’re British! You literally drink Leaves!!” You rebutted, mildly offended that they were laughing.

The other 2 couldn’t help but laugh even further.

“Oh shush it , will you Russell? You drown yourself in tea! And Alex you’re basically British! You guys literally drink leaf soup!!” You exclaimed with your hand in the air waving.

“ But we don’t drink tea for a boost in caffeine, Y/N” George reasoned out, as the 2 remaining drivers were laughing their asses off.

“Oh, shut up! Matcha has been proven to be more effective than coffee!” You reasoned out

“No one said anything about coffee being better than matcha, Y/N!” Alex wheezed out, still laughing. Now tears started to fall from their eyes.

“Urgh! I hate all of you! Enjoy your bloody leaf soup, Monsters and Red Bull drinks! “ You glared at your friends, who liked to gang up on you.

“We don’t drink Red Bull! But you really should, Y/N. Show some support for the team” Lando teased with his face red.

“Screw you guys, I'm leaving!”

You rolled your eyes and stood up from your seat.

“Where are you going?? “ George asked

“I’m going to find Max, at least He supports my drink of choice! unlike you people“ you struck your tongue out at them and you left for your motorhome

Just when you reach your destination.

“Hi, ms. Y/N! How about a can of Red Bull?”

Nevermind. I'm going to RB and find Yuki.

[vivwritesfics]

Soo, I have an idea, bear with me, it‘s pretty specific (and slightly self-indulgent) but I think it could be nice

Basically, reader has been with Lando for a while already. She played piano as a child but for whatever reason stopped but when Charles releases his piano songs it inspires her to get back to it and Charles ends up helping her practise and they become really good friends (but honestly purely platonic, maybe even siblings vibes) over it. Cue a little bit of angst when Lando gets worried about his girl spending so much time with another guy. But ta-dah, happy end, it turns out that Charles helped her write a song for Lando as a birthday or anniversary present

I absolutely understand if you don‘t want to write this, I just had a little daydream about it and thought you‘d be the perfect person to write it!

Lots of love for you and your works <3

I made the reader Jules Bianchi's little sister

F1 Masterlist

Ever since Jules' tragic passing, Charles had felt a certain sense of protectiveness over his little sister. Everybody thought they were going to start dating, that Y/N Bianchi and Charles Leclerc were destined to be together.

Just like her brother, her life was motorsport. She wasn't a driver, that had never been her desire, but she knew everything there was to know about Formula One. She followed Charles around the world like she wanted to with her brother, supporting him like she would have Jules.

She found love at the race track, but not with Charles.

It was 2019, his rookie season when they met. She had been walking through the paddock, making her way to the Ferrari garage, when she bumped into him. In his McLaren shirt and orange hat, nineteen year old Lando Norris was adorable. It took maybe two years before he finally asked her out. They had been happy together ever since.

Something that most people forget when talking about Y/N Bianchi was her love for music. She had been playing since she was a child and it was something she had used to get through her brothers passing.

She could play several different instruments. While Jules was karting, she was practicing violin, piano, and more. But piano was her favourite of them all.

She still practiced regularly, but it was at the back of her mind as life went on.

But then lockdown happened. She and Lando had just started dating, so she was stuck at home in France, left to call him regularly. She called Charles, too, since he was like an older brother to her. As they talked he walked her around his apartment, setting her up against different surfaces as he did something.

"Charles, is that a piano?" She asked as she looked past him.

He took her closer to it, showing her the new piano he had bought over lockdown.

That was what sparked her playing again.

They didn't have much of a chance to practice together after the season started up again. They still showed each other videos they had taken of themselves playing, but they never played together.

Not until just before Lando's 24th birthday.

Actually, it was the summer break, several months before. But she liked being prepared. Lando had been so fucking excited to spend summer break with her, but she had to blow him off, told him to have fun without her.

Instead she was in Monaco with Charles. They were spending a few weeks in his apartment, writing together until they had a song. Charles had booked a studio, where they recorded together.

***

On the day of Lando's birthday he was woken up with a kiss, breakfast, and a good ol' shag.

"I got you something really special this year," she said as she walked in from the bathroom, using a towel to dry her hair. "Do you remember over summer break, when I stayed in Monaco with Charles?"

Lando's expression darkened. "Yeah, I remember," he grumbled. He knew the nature of her relationship with Charles, but he'd also seen what had been said about the two of them.

Sitting beside him, Y/N ran her hands through his hair. "C'mon, Lan, what's up?" She asked, pouting at him.

Lando threw his head back, exposing his throat as he groaned. "I get sent the articles of you and Charles back from before we started dating at least three times a week. And then you spent summer with him in Monaco and-"

Suddenly she put her hand over his mouth, and Lando softly bit her palm. "I was putting together your birthday present in Monaco. That's why I spent the entire summer with him," she said and pulled up her phone.

Lando sat patiently as she pulled out the song she had written for him. He listened to the piano notes she had put together, to the lyrics she had written. It was, to put it simply, beautiful. He could listen to it on repeat for the rest of his life.

"I... holy shit," he said when the song finished. "I fucking love you," He said. "That was incredible."

[nyancrimew]

You do a lot of really cool stuff and you do it As You. How do you overcome the fear of being Perceived and Known? Especially when the stuff you're raising awareness about is controversial or big? I have anxiety and while the "fuck it we ball" mindset has gotten me fairly far, I still find myself regretting putting myself out there or regressing back into a shut in.

i feel like what helped me kinda deal with getting pretty well known is probably not really applicable to many other people, because most of it really was that ive just been slowly more and more exposed to a bigger and bigger level of fame since i was like 16 or so. long before i was at the point i am now i was a really well known person in the android modding community and then the broader and broader tech community, i definitely didn't deal super well with some of my first minutes of fame and there's lots of stuff i regret (i def let it get to my head for a while and because i was also slowly burning out at the time i was quite an asshole to a lot of people). i don't think that was necessarily the best for me at the time, but i learned some lessons especially about community building and i did a lot of media work already at the time so ive been honing my communications skills for almost 10 years at this point.

i first started blowing up with hacktivism related stuff around 2019, and then everytime i did again it was bigger and bigger, making massive international headlines for the first time in 2021 (with the verkada story). i still fucked up a lot and got very stressed at that time, especially with my mental health being extremely abysmal and paranoia growing as state repression became inevitable.

after the indictment in 2021 i did more and more press work again (there are lots of portraits of me from that era) but still wasn't like A Celebrity except for those brief moments, which (as i took a break from hacktivism) gave me some more time to grow and learn. by the time the no fly list hack happened in 2023 i had been spending a few months already doing various smaller cyber security related work and working with many of my journalist friends in the industry. in a lot of ways the no fly list leak and the media reaction to it was just routine work for me already at that point, which i think allowed me to take in all the social fame way better as well. it still all felt quite surreal, but i was already mostly media trained, had quite a bit of experience with working with an audience already so it was just kind of a matter of adapting to my new environment.

this isn't to say i was like specifically working towards fame (especially this level) but ive always cared about community/audience building and media communication. i don't think im like "fake" or whatever, but you do have to consider that despite my laid back style im still someone with an autistic special interest in personal branding and media communications. i just don't wanna do that for corporations or for profit and instead use it for my activist and journalist self advocacy to give things a platform.

[lvnleah]

Protective Love | Lia Wälti

Based on this request! :)

Summary: Reader gets injured during a game against Man United after a bad tackle, Lia is the first at her side when she goes down. Lia stays by the readers side. Lots of fluff!!

Notes: haven’t really read this through so please be kind! Also a short one <33

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Getting injured whilst playing your absolute best was every football player's worst idea. You were playing against Man United, thirty minutes in and you were playing your best game that you’d played in a long time.

Arsenal were 1-0 down, Man United getting an early goal six minutes in. Beth Mead passed you the ball, you were getting closer and closer to the next. Millie Turner slide tackled you, taking the ball from straight under your feet.

You landed funny, instantly feeling your ankles crack right underneath you. Strings of curse words fell from your mouth as your body hit the ground. You instantly grabbed you ankle, holding it to try and ease the pain.

The whistle blew, signalling for the game to come for a stop. The crowd's cheers dulled to a concerned murmur as you lay on the pitch, pain radiating from your ankle after a rough tackle. Your teammates huddled around, but it was Lia's face that came into focus above you — her eyes wide with worry.

"Hey, you're going to be okay," Lia said, her voice steady despite the panic you saw in her eyes. She knelt beside you, her hand gently brushing your face. “What hurts, love?”

“Ankle.” You cried, not being able to take the pain as you groaned into the ground, “I felt it crack.”

The medics rushed over, and as they assessed your injury, Lia never left your side. Her hand gently brushed the hair from your forehead.

Lia was your girlfriend of eight months, you’d been friends for around four years and your feelings had only grown over that time. You were flirty friends ever since you’d join Arsenal in January 2019.

Lia hadn’t been at the club long so the pair of you bonded over both being new. At the time you were both in relationships, you had a girlfriend of 3 years and Lia had just celebrated her 1 year anniversary with hers.

Around a year ago, both of your relationships ended and you both moved in with each other. Your feelings for each other grew and grew and one evening you confessed them before asking Lia to be your girlfriend. You hadn’t looked back since that day.

Once the medics had stabilised your ankle, Lia helped you to your feet, acting as your crutch.

"I've got you," she murmured, her tone leaving no room for argument. The protective glint in her eyes told you that she didn’t want to hear your stubbornness.

As you hobbled off the field, leaning heavily on Lia, you couldn't help but feel a warmth that had nothing to do with the injury. It was the warmth of being cared for, the warmth of Lia's unwavering presence. Something you’d never felt on this level before.

You reached the dugouts and the medics took you down to the physio room. Despite not wanting to, Lia returned to the pitch and carried on with the game.

The physio room was a sterile, fluorescent-lit space tucked away beneath the stadium. You sat on the examination table, your broken ankle propped up on a cushion. The pain had dulled slightly, but every movement sent a sharp reminder of the injury up your leg.

The physio further assessed your injury, she examined your ankle, prodding gently and asking about the pain. You winced as she touched the swollen joint, and she nodded in confirmation.

"Definitely a break," she said. "We'll need to get you to the hospital for an X-ray."

You nodded, knowing that recovery was going to be a long process and your season was going to be cut short. Your heart shattered, you’d been playing your best and you felt like everything around you was crumbling down and you couldn’t do anything about it.

Half time came and Lia rushed into the room the room, “My love, you okay?” She asked, concern written all over her face.

“Broken ankle.” You sniffed, Lia wiping your tears from under your eyes, “Need an X-Ray but they think it’s broken.”

“Oh my love, I’m so sorry, we’ll get through this together okay?” Lia reassured you, sitting down on the physio bed next to you.

You spent the next few minutes cuddled together, your head resting on Lia’s chest as your teammates popped in and out to check on you.

“I can’t believe she did that and all she got was a yellow card!” Lia raged, her hands running through your head.

“Babe, it’s okay.” You sighed, “it was a simple mistake from Millie.”

“Still!” The brunette said, throwing her hands up in the air, “you were playing so well and now you’re out for probably the rest of the season!”

At the hospital, the X-rays confirmed the break. You were fitted with a cast, and Lia sat beside you, her thumb tracing circles on the back of your hand. She didn't leave your side, not even when you got home and she immediately ordered you to bed.

"You're stuck with me," Lia said, running her hands through your hair as you cuddled into her side. "At least until you're back on your feet."

You smiled, despite the pain throbbing in your ankle. "I wouldn't have it any other way." You tilted your head back slowly and kissed Lia’s lips softly.

The weeks of healing and rehab soon started. The first few weeks were spent in bed, Lia brought you books, snacks, and her company. She even learned how to make a decent cup of tea, which was no small feat for someone who had previously forgotten to put the teabag into the cup and just gave you milk.

As your ankle slowly mended, it took longer than the average break and you missed the rest of the games that season. You attended every match, supporting your teammates from the stand.

One good thing about your injury was that you and Lia became closer than ever. As she played the role of nurse, your love for her grew. You became closer than ever and you were just thankful that you had Lia beside you, holding your hand every step of the way.

[babydollmarauders]

WYD NOW? — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!singer!reader

summary: in which y/n writes a song about her ex-boyfriend, 3 years after their breakup, and it gets back to him, leading to their reconnection

notes: inspired by the song WYD Now? by Sadie Jean. ending kinda sucks, but ehh i did my best. pretty sure i lost motivation for this halfway through it, but i tried to power through.

not my gif

*** JUNE 17TH, 2018 ***

“i bet, at this time in a few years, we’ll be painting the walls of our shared apartment.” my boyfriend’s whisper rings through my ears as i turn my head to look at him.

heat rises to my cheeks, Jack’s blue eyes gazing into mine.

“yeah?” i laugh, running a hand through his hair, still damp from the shower he took before coming over.

“mhm.” he hums in confirmation, his hand snaking up under the stolen shirt that adorns my body, gripping my waist and pulling me closer. “i’ll be playing hockey, and you’ll be a big pop star, my little songbird.”

i bury my face into his neck in attempt to hide the redness on the apples of my cheeks from the nickname.

“you gonna write songs about me?” he whispers, pressing a kiss against the side of my head.

“i already do.” i murmur, my lips brushing against his collarbone, causing him to shiver.

*** JULY 30TH, 2019 ***

“i don’t think i understand.” it feels like my head is underwater, my lungs burning for oxygen, but unable to receive it.

“we can still be friends, y/n. you can call me whenever.” Jack sits on my bed, gripping my hands in his hold. “the future is just, so far away and we don’t know what’ll happen.

“i don’t want my dreams to hold you back from achieving yours, y/n. you may not see it right now, but this just seems like the best option for now. and maybe, down the line, once we’re both at a stable place in our careers, if we’re both single, we can revisit us.”

my head is bobbing ‘yes’ but my heart is screaming ‘no!’

it’s like my brain understands where he’s coming from, that he’s being logical and that he’s doing this for the greater good of both of us; no matter what we’ve always thought, we’re still just kids, we were dreaming. but my heart isn’t getting that message. all my heart knows is that it’s being crushed into a thousand pieces and it feels pretty unsalvageable right now.

“are you okay?”

it’s my instinct to tell him ‘yes’. my instinct to not let him know how much he’s really hurting me. how much i want to scream that we’ll be fine. that i would give up my dream to be by his side while he accomplishes his. but i know that would just hurt him; because that isn’t what he wants.

he may be hurting me, but he’s doing it for all the right reasons. he doesn’t want me to push my dreams aside for his, because he wants to see me living them. he wants the best for me.

“yeah, i’m okay. i understand.”

*** PRESENT: SOCIAL MEDIA ***

y/nonthegram

liked by tatemcrae and 246,517 others

y/nonthegram in your faded t-shirt

that i’ve kept this long

i still hear you laughing

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user13 NEW LYRICS??

user92 that’s what i was thinking too! seems too poetic to just be a caption

trevorzegras hey that looks familiar

user57 OH MY GOD NEW MUSIC?

user04 AHHH ANNOUNCE A NEW ALBUM PLEASE

user6 I’LL EVEN JUST TAKE A NEW SINGLE! I JUST NEED NEW MUSIC

tatemcrae my best friend writes the best captions

y/nonthegram MY best friend writes the best songs

tatemcrae says you!

user83 new love song? break-up song? both?

colecaufield what’s this 👀

y/nonthegram

liked by trevorzegras and 283,752 others

y/nonthegram surprise! ‘WYD Now?’ out tonight at midnight.

wholly written in my bedroom at 2am, this song means the absolute most to me, and i hope some of you can find comfort in it like i have <3

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user04 OH MY GOD! THANK YOU FOR BLESSING OUR EARS TONIGHT!

colecaufield so proud of you!

y/nonthegram thank you, coley ♥️

user94 since when does she know nhl players?

user63 she went to high school with some of the 2019 draft class

user72 I CAN’T WAIT OMG

user18 SHAKING, CRYING, THROWING UP! I’M SO EXCITED

_alexturcotte our little melody makin’ munchkin, making moves!

y/nonthegram oh god please don’t bring back “melody makin’ munchkin”

_alexturcotte too late

tatemcrae GO BEST FRIEND THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND

y/nonthegram LEMME KISS YOUR FACE!! MWAH!!

user55 i’m so curious to hear these lyrics 😭 how am i gonna wait 8 more hours?!

jackhughes

liked by y/nonthegram and 352,850 others

jackhughes 3/3

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user77 hey wait, didn’t @/y/nonthegram date Jack in high school? is the new song yesterday about him?

user55 yess! it’s gotta be!

trevorzegras dizzyyy

user91 you should go listen to y/n’s new song 👀

user02 have you heard ‘WYD Now?’ ???

user36 omg he remembered to post 3/3

colecaufield same time next summer? 🫡

subbanator 🚀

y/nonthegram

liked by jackhughes and 227,951 others

y/nonthegram i’m so grateful for all the love on ‘WYD Now?’ these past couple days! thank you all! <3

here’s some photos @/tatemcrae took at our song celly night last night to celebrate the release of WYD Now? and greedy!

in celebration, i’ll be answering some questions in the comments!

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user74 is the song fictional? or was it inspired by someone?

y/nonthegram not fictional <3

user99 is this a single off the upcoming album? or just a normal song?

y/nonthegram the album is still being written, so i can’t confirm or deny if this is a single because i’m not sure yet if it’ll be on the track list! <3

colecaufield omg y/n please come to Montreal! i love you so much! you’re my idol!

y/nonthegram hey remember that time i bumped you with my car? i think we should do that again! i’ll stomp on the gas this time!

colecaufield omg you noticed me!!

user42 at 18, where did you imagine yourself being at this age?

y/nonthegram New Jersey <3

trevorzegras where did he set the bar?

y/nonthegram above the moon

user28 if the song isn’t fictional, then who’s it about?

user96 it’s 100% about jack hughes. if you scroll way down on her page, there’s pics of her and jack in high school, but they stop when they were 18. then he moved to new jersey and now he’s playing hockey, like the song states “you finally got the job you like”. that we’re all aware of, she didn’t have any other boyfriends in high school. she and jack seemingly dated from ages 16-18 until he left for the NHL

liked by y/nonthegram

_quinnhughes 💙

user10 this song was amazing! i really related and it made me feel so seen!

user88 big question is: has jack heard the song yet?

jackhughes call me?

user98 @/user88 if he hadn’t, i’m guessing he has now

*** PRESENT: REAL LIFE ***

my heart races as the notification comes through.

i wasn’t sure if he listened to my music, or if the song would get back to him. i just needed to get my feelings down on paper, and then it turned into a song, and then i liked it too much to not release it.

the night i wrote it, i had played a small show in New York, and i could’ve sworn i saw him in the back of the venue. of course, i knew it wasn’t, but it had rattled me; bringing all my feelings for him back to the forefront of my brain.

“call him.” my head snaps up to face my best friend, her eyes soft as she looks at me from the doorway.

“i-” Tate cuts me off with a shake of her head.

“don’t make excuses, y/n. call him.” she repeats, “you deserve to be happy, and from what you’ve told me, he makes you happy.”

she doesn’t stick around; instead bidding me goodbye and heading back to my guest room to give me some privacy.

i pace my bedroom, iphone clutched in my hand. his contact is pulled up, but i can’t seem to build up the nerve to call him. though, it seems i don’t have to, because my phone begins to ring instead, Jack’s photo displaying on the screen.

“hi.” i breathe out, pressing the phone to my ear.

“hi.” he repeats. “i heard your new song. i’m so proud of you, my little songbird.”

my face heats up, blood rushing to my cheeks. i haven’t heard that nickname in almost four years.

“thank you.” my words come out a whisper, still in disbelief that i’m talking to him again.

“did you mean it?” the question causes a panic to erupt in me, swarms of butterflies erupting in my nervous system.

“did i mean what, Jacky?” i need him to say it.

“what you wrote,” he clears his throat, “in the song. did you mean it all? do you still think of me? do you really wanna try again?”

laying sprawled out on my bed, i stare up at the ceiling as i speak.

“i wouldn’t have written it if it wasn’t true.”

“oh- okay. so, uh,” he stutters, but i can hear the smile on his lips, causing the same reaction upon my own face, “where are you right now?”

“um, my apartment?” my brows thread together in confusion, but he just chuckles.

“i mean like, are you living in LA? are you home in Michigan? what state?”

“oh.” i bite my lip, squeezing my eyes shut in embarrassment. “i live in New York, Jack.”

“really?” his voice is emotionally distant and seemingly hurt. “so close?”

“yeah.” i nod, although he can’t see me. “i’ve gone to a few of your games.”

“you did?”

“mhm.” i hum in confirmation. “i just- i didn’t wanna be the one to reach out and then have you think oddly of me or have you already be in a relationship or something. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you, i just didn’t wanna be seen as that clingy ex-girlfriend or anything.”

“that’s not what you are, y/n.” he sighs, “would you wanna meet up soon? catch up? i’d love to hear about your glamorous new pop star life.”

“i’d love to. although, i wouldn’t call myself a pop star, Jacky.”

“you are to me.” i blush at his words, glad he can’t see how much of a mess i am at the moment. “are you free on saturday? i have practice in the morning, but after that, maybe we could go to lunch?”

“yeah, i can do that.” i confirm.

“okay great, i’ll text you on friday to hash out details?”

“sounds great!” my cool hand rises to press against my heated face in attempt to cool myself down.

“great. i gotta go, Luke and i are going out with the guys. i’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”

“yeah. bye, Jack.” i wait for him to repeat a goodbye before hanging up, burying face in my pillow and letting out a muffled scream.

***

my knee bounces underneath the table of the New York City diner, my hands clasped together on the table.

Jack should be here any minute, and saying i’m nervous would be an understatement. my palms are clammy, my legs won’t stop shaking, and i’m eighty percent sure that i have no skin left on my bottom lip because i’ve chewed it all off.

the little bell above the door rings and my head snaps up to look, but it’s just a young couple with their toddler. i send a friendly smile to the tired looking mother before looking back down at my hands that won’t stop fidgeting.

i zone out, retreating back into my head and all the thoughts that have been plaguing me since we planned this meeting.

what if he doesn’t like me anymore?

what if he has a girlfriend and he’s just trying to be nice?

or worse, what if he’s just asked me here so he could tell me to leave him alone? to stop writing songs about him.

“hi.” i’m pulled out of my thoughts by Jack sliding into the booth across from me, a gentle smile on his face.

his hand snakes across the table to hold mine, and i can’t help but feel like a teenager again, back when we used to have dates like this all the time; where he would hold my hand over the table and we would laugh and joke around for hours.

“hey.” i smile back, giving his hand a small squeeze in return.

“how are you?” he questions. he brings his hand back in order to hold his menu, but his focus remains on me, not even glancing down at the menu yet.

“i’m good!” i nod. “how are you?”

“good, i’m glad. i’m good too.”

we’re interrupted by a waitress, taking a second to look over our menu’s before giving her our orders.

once she retreats, i squirm from the small talk, never having been any good at it. which Jack seems to remember.

“so, how’s the pop star life?” he smirks teasingly, and i giggle.

“not a pop star.” i remind him, shaking my head. “but it’s good. i like where i’m at right now in my career. i like having a strong fanbase but still being unknown enough that i’m not being hounded on or followed like, say, Taylor Swift.

“i’m able to just write my music and put it out, go on small tours, interact with my fans on a more personal level; it’s really nice. i don’t know if i would want it to be more than that.”

he nods in understanding, a wide grin on his face as he listens.

“i get it. and i’m really glad you’ve achieved what you wanted. i’ve always rooted for you.”

“what about you? mr. ninety-nine point season!” he blushes at my words, shaking his head and looking down at his hands, which rest on the tabletop. “how’s that?”

“it’s good! really good.” he looks back up at me, and i have to fight myself from getting lost in his eyes like i would when we were seventeen. “i love it. it’s hard, it’s a lot of work, but it’s amazing. and honestly, i’m pretty glad i’m not on a canadian team. i like that i can go out and still have a pretty normal life outside of hockey, ya know? not be stopped on the street a bunch.”

“yeah, i get it.” i tell him. “i’m so glad you’re happy though. you play great, as you always have.”

he releases a ‘thanks’ before a silence settles over us, neither of us sure what exactly to say next.

i begin to play with the paper wrapper from my straw, winding it around my finger before sliding it off and gently pulling it straight again.

“so, Cole sends me your songs.”

snap! the paper wrapper breaks in two as i look up at him.

“he does?”

“yeah. you know i don’t get on social media too much, so i don’t always know right away when you put one out, but Cole sends me all of them. just in case i miss one.” he explains.

my head bobs up and down as i try to display a level of cool, “oh.”

“that doesn’t bother you, does it?” he asks. “that i don’t always listen to them right away?”

“not at all! i didn’t really think you listened to them at all.” i confess, sinking lower into the booth. “not really your genre.”

he smiles gently, reaching forward to hold my hand tightly in his.

“y/n, you could write a children’s nursery rhyme, and i would still listen to it.”

my head tips back against the booth, joyous laughter spilling from my lips. my nose scrunches, resulting in a small snort, which cause him to laugh as well.

“you’re just saying that.” i choke out, and he shakes his head.

“no! i’m serious! i would!” Jack insists, right as the waitress arrives with our food. she sets our food in front of us, making sure we’re all set before she retreats.

a comfortable small talk takes over as we eat; discussing our friends and their accomplishments since graduation.

“you remember that time,” Jack starts through broken laughter, “that you hit Cole with your car because he said he didn’t think it would hurt?”

“yes! and i barely even tapped him, but the big baby whined that it hurt so bad, i may have crushed his NHL dreams!” my face hurts from smiling so big, but i can no longer fight it.

“and then he was fine and back to practice that afternoon! not even a bruise left on him!” he retorts.

“ever the dramatic, Cole is.” i sigh, sitting back in my seat from position slouched over the table.

“since we’re walking down memory lane, do you remember how i said that maybe down the line, we could revisit us?”

i’m sobered up now, my smile gone as i eye him. he’s playing with his bracelets, a sign of nerves from him, and i just now realize that he’s still wearing the string friendship bracelet i gave him at eighteen; just before his draft.

i swallow the lump that built in throat, nodding, “yeah.”

“you think maybe now would be a good time to do that?” he asks. “start slow; go on dates again, maybe you could come over sometime for movie night with Luke and i, come to a few more of my games, where i actually know you’re there this time. and then see where that could take us?”

butterflies swarm my stomach, my heart beating rapidly in my chest, and my teeth sink into my lower lip, biting back a smile.

“i’d love that, Jack.”

[obsessivevoidkitten]

I don't bring up politics and world events up on here very much, that isn't what this blog is about. This blog is for escapism from reality, but those who are not willing to speak out against brutality are complicit. And this is my largest platform.

Don't continue reading if you don't want to read about war and violence.

Regarding Israel and Palestine I have seen many inaccurate assumptions and outright lies.

1ST CLAIM: One claim I hear ad nauseum is that Gaza elected Hamas and therefore they deserve punishment.

Let's break this down.

A. Hamas was elected around 2006. 17 years ago. They have not allowed elections since.

B. Roughly half of the Gazan population are under 18. This means half the population wasn't born during the last election. This means that of the Gazans who were alive many were too young to vote.

C. Hamas won by a 45 percent plurality, not a majority. This means that less than half of the Gazan who did vote did so for Hamas.

So taking these facts together we can conclude that only a fraction of a fraction of Gazans alive today elected Hamas.

In fact Netanyahu was happy to fund and prop up Hamas because doing so meant dividing Palestinians between the Palestinian Authority in the West Bank and Hamas in Gaza. So Netanyahu is more to blame for Hamas than Palestinians are.

2ND CLAIM: Another thing I hear a lot is that this conflict and all of the casualties are the fault of Hamas. Let me be clear, I do not support Hamas or the October 7th attack that ended up with a civilian casualty rate of around 50 percent, but that one attack doesn't exist alone or without context and nuance as many on the pro-Israel side would have people believe.

No, that attack was one incident in a line of many. Starting with the brutal apartheid, displacement, and ethnic cleansing of Palestinians by Israel.

A slow motion genocide taking place over the course of many decades.

Let's look at some events leading up to and then following Oct. 7th.

It starts with the beginning of Israel. Even the often recited phrase "a land without people for a people without land" erases the existence of native people who had lived there for centuries.

In 1948 you have The Nakba. A mass displacement of Palestinians as Israel took their land. This flew in the face of the UN partition plan, after The Nakba Israel controlled 78 percent of the land, 25 percent more than the UN plan.

This trend of land theft has only continued.

Let's fast forward to more recent events.

2018-2019 The Great March of Return: For over a year there were peaceful marches protesting the Gaza border, this resulted in Israeli forces killing over 220 peaceful Palestinian protesters.

In 2019 Netanyahu admitted support for Hamas to prevent a 2 state solution.

In 2022 journalist Shireen Abu Akleh was targeted and killed by Israeli forces. Israeli forces also attacked her funeral.

Note that during this entire time Palestinians are arrested, even children, and kept in indefinite detention without trial.

In 2023 we then have the October 7th attack. But as you are now aware this isn't where the conflict started.

And clearly not where it has ended.

3RD CLAIM: And that brings us to the 3rd and most blatantly bullshit lie you will here on repeat. The notion that Israel only targets Hamas.

More UN workers have been killed in a 2 month period than have died in any other war since the UN's formation. Over 130.

If they were targeting Hamas then why have so many UN buildings, refugee camps, and hospitals been bombed?

If there goal wasn't civilians then why do civilians make up the majority of the casualities?

Why the medieval style siege/blockade that has caused hospitals to lose fuel and medicine and civilians to go hungry and thirsty?

Why parade civilians around in their underwear? Why laugh and cheer as a UN school is exploded?

Why leave babies in the NICU and force the hospital staff to leave with the promise an ambulance would be provided for the babies only for people to return once the IDF left and find the baby corpses rotting because the ambulance was never provided?

We can even leave Gaza to prove this is not about Hamas. Hamas does not lead the West Bank. And yet Palestinians there are being murdered and arrested at increased rates, their homes stolen by illegal settlers.

Israel officials have called this the Gaza Nakba, they have claimed they will make Gaza inhospitable, they have claimed there are no civilians in Gaza.

Netanyahu has said to remember Amalek.

What is Amalek? Amalek refers to Israels enemy in the bible. This phrase specifically, "Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys"

Israel wants to steal the little land the Palestinians have left. Even now they are herded and concentrated into ever smaller camps with no resources.

Idk what we can do about the situation. This post seems silly for all the good it will do. But maybe it will open the eyes of a couple people. I think that would make it worth it.

[tomsvouge]

Call it what you want

Summary- You and Joe attend his Heisman ceremony. What you don’t know is that Joe has something up his sleeve for after the ceremony. Warnings: Fluff, References of sex

Being friends with Joe was a reward in itself, but seeing him achieve a goal of a lifetime is worth more than any award there is.

Getting ready in the hotel room in New York City was not on your bucket list for 2019 but hey I was not complaining. Joe was up for the heisman trophy and you could not be more proud of him. Knowing what he has endured up to this moment would make anyone have nothing but respect for him.

Joe and I have been friends since middle school. All I remember is a shy kid hesitant to find a seat somewhere. Calling him over to sit next to me was the best decision I have ever made. Although what I didn't know was I was going to be falling for him as the years went on. each day that went by I always noticed something new about him, like the way he gets all giggly when talking about things he loves, or when he gets tuned vision when he is really really focused on something.

Having these feelings for Joe meant that every little thing made me jealous. Like when girls fond over him or when girls literally come up to him and flirt with him. Before my thoughts took over me I got pulled out by Joe calling my name.

"Y/n!"-Joe

"yea what's up"- you say sitting down the makeup brush.

"Which tie should I pick?"- Joe says holding up two purple ties that look almost identical

"Go with the one without the gold it kinda washes you out"- You say taking the tie from him to put it on him while he laughs at your remark.

"Can't even catch a break on my day huh?"- Joe says shaking his head laughing.

"Hey just because your winning an award doesn't change the fact that your still easy to make fun of."- You say while fixing him up so he looks put together.

"There you go. Nice and proper."- you walking back to finish your makeup

"Thanks and I haven't won anything yet, I'm just a nominee."-Joe says following you and sitting down on the bed next to the vanity watching you apply the finishing touches.

"Oh c'mon, Joe we all know you have this award in the bag. You have had heck of a season and most of all you deserve it more than anyone."- you say turning to him and grabbing his hands.

"Everyone believes in you Joe not just your family. You pretty much have the whole state of Louisiana supporting you tonight as you are their adopted son apparently."-you say as Joe looks up and laughs at the adoption joke.

"Thank you y/n. You always know how to bring my confidence back up."- Joe says looking at you with a little glimmer in his eyes.

"Oh! also can you help me zip up my dress?"-you ask standing up and turning around so my back faces him.

"Yea sure."-Joe says slowly zipping the dress up.

"There. And thank you for always being there, it means a lot."-Joe says while you turn around to look at him.

When turning around you had no idea how close you actually were to Joe, so close that your chest was literal centimeters away from his.

Looking into Joe's eyes gave you a wash of euphoria. Something hat only his can do, and he felt the same way about yours. Every stolen glance he takes at you when you aren't looking and every little gesture he does to show that he cares.

As you guys stared into each others eyes, it was cut short by Robin and Jimmy clearing their throats.

"Time to go guys!"- Robin says as she looks at us smirking.

"Yea okay."- we both say at the same time while they leave the room.

"Wait! Joe before we go gets take a picture."-You say opening the camera app and taking the picture,

"okay lets go y/n, this could turn into a whole photoshoot with you."-joe says laughing and guiding me to the door.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Walking into the ceremony felt unreal. Before it started we talked to a couple of joes coaches and other nominees.

A few minutes into small taking we were told the ceremony would be broadcasting in a ew minutes and we had to take our seats. before I went to my seat I decided to give Joe some more words of encouragement.

"Hey Joe just remember what I told you in the hotel room, you have all the support in the world right now, win or lose we're so so proud of you."-you say as he was staring u at you with admiration in his eyes.

"Thank you y/n."- He says with a tight lipped smile.

I could tell he was nervous. Joe only smiled like that when he was nervous or when he wanted out of a situation and didn't want to make it awkward.

As I'm walking back to my seat I couldn't help but over hear one of the nominees say that Joe had a good one. Before I could hear joes response people were starting to scramble to their seats for it to start.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He did it. He won the Heisman for LSU.

As walks up to his family section he hugs each of us. When he gets to me he says something unexpected.

"I love you.."- Joe says as he hugs you and moves on to his dad.

He just told me he loves me. We have said this to each other before but something about this time felt different.

As Joe walks up to give his speech all I could do is tear up. This boy has been through so much and has been knocked down so many times and the is finally proving all those people wrong who ever doubted him in his life.

But one thing that I did not expect to see was Joe cry. I have only seen Joe cry a few times, so little that I could count on one hand. This had really meant a lot to him and you couldn't be any prouder of him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the ceremony and the walk in Times Square, Joe and I decided to head back to our room to celebrate the win by watching movies and drinking some champagne.

The second the door closed I tackled Joe in a hug to the point where he fell back on the bed. Laughing he quickly turned us over on the be. As quickly as he turned us over he jumped off of me.

"Sorry I don't know what I was thinking doing that"- Joe said as he starts to take off his shoes.

"Its fine, You did nothing wrong."- you said

"Im gonna go take a shower right quick, okay?"- you said walking over to the bathroom.

"Okay I'm going to my parents room to do the same."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sitting in the bed with Joe you had laughs and mini tickle fights. But as the night went on you had not idea what was about to happen.

"Okay so now that this movie is over I would like to show you a very important video."-joe says grabbing his computer.

"It's not a sex tape is it?"- you say with semi seriousness.

"No no not even close!"-Joe says laughing at you.

"Oh okay."- you say getting comfortable to see what his is about to show you.

"okay, watch"- Joe says starting the video.

The video consisted of memories of me and Joe from when we first met to literally a few hours ago.

"Joe that was so sweet, but why?"-you say looking at him.

"Y/n, you have been in my life since I can remember. Not a single bad memory with you, if anything you make the bad memories seen not so bad. You have been there for me through the really highs but you have also been there for me when I've hit rock bottom. You make me a better person and I'm grateful to have you as a best friend. And I know this might sound weird but I really don't want to be friends with you anymore. I want to be more than friends. So, with that Will you be my girlfriend?"- Joe says as you have tears in your eyes.

Joe... You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to say that sentence to me."-I say hugging him like my like depended on it.

"So I'll take that as a yes?"- Joe says

"Yes Joe i'll be your girlfriend."- I say leaning in to kiss his lips.

Right as our lips are about to touch Joe pulls away leaving me confused.

"What's wrong?"- You ask looking at him.

"Nothing, but before I forget I have to give you something."- Joe says reaching into the nightstand.

"Here."- he hands me the box

"Joe you didn't have to get me anything."

"Just open the box baby"

I open the box and see a pendant necklace with a "J" on it.

"joey... Its beautiful."

"Just like you. I wanted you to have it even when we are not physically with each other. Look inside."

I look inside and see a photo of me and Joe on the day we met and and an empty side. "What's this side for?"- I say referring to the empty side.

"It's for you to fill, I want you to fill it with your favorite memory of us. I doesn't have to be right now. You don't even have to tell me. just do it when you're ready."- Joe says as I nod.

"Can you put it on me?"-You say turning round.

"Ofc."- He says putting the necklace on me.

"oh and Joe?"

"Yea?"

"I love you too."- I say smiling.

Little did Joe know you filled that empty spot years later with the photo of you him and your baby boy the day you gave birth.

The first pic of the new year!!! Also the start of the Taylor imagines. If you have any recommendations let me know. <3

[cheriladycl01]

All in a days work - Alexander Albon x Lifestyle/Travel Vlogger! Reader

Plot: Y/N vlogging her travels with Alex and how she see's so much of the places that they travel too with the Grand Prix

Credit to the-offside-rule for the GIF

"Hey guys, this week Y/N Adventures moves to Belgium. We just had an extremely short summer break but it was so fun! Alex and I went to Thailand for 10 days and then stayed in London with family for the rest! The vlogs already out so you can go check that out" you grin before you stop to one side in the airport you and Alex are currently navigating through.

"We're leaving a little earlier compared to most driver's. We have to be in Spa, and checked into the Hotel Red Bull provide for the race weekend by Thursday the 29th. It's currently the 25th of August 2019 and we are going to Brussels for 4 nights" you say excitedly before you look over to your boyfriend confused.

He was the typical 'airport dad' boyfriend when you both travelled, and you always wanted to catch it on camera because everyone who watched you found it hilarious.

Currently he was looking down at the bulk of paper, checking through the bag meticulously making sure passports and all other essentials were there.

He'd had too many close calls where you guys had forgotten travel adaptors and were travelling with dead phones or times when you'd gotten flight times mixed up by an hour and had to run to the gate.

He turns to look at you, seeing the camera making him groan before turning away with a light blush. You laugh to yourself swinging the camera back round to yourself before looking around.

"We are currently in London Gatwick, and we are going to go find the Red Lion, Spoons so i can tell you guys about the itinerary of this week" you grinned before cutting the camera and taking your on-board suitcase and Alex's hand walking towards the pub.

"Okay, so Alex is at the bar ordering us drinks right now and I'm going to talk you through the itinerary. So we get into Brussels at 11.30 and can check into our hotel straight away. Then tomorrow we'll be going to Les Galeries Royales Saint-Hubert and looking at the amazing art, and then in the afternoon we are meeting with a friend from Belgium whose going to give us a walking tour of the city centre. Tuesday Alex and I have a spa booked and we'll do some shopping! And then Wednesday is our free day where we going to meet some locals and get a real feel for the culture" you say before spotting Alex coming back with your lemonade that you gladly took from him with a thank you and a massive gulp.

"What have you told them so far, sweetheart!" he asks taking a sip of his beer.

"The itinerary for before the race!" you smile at him.

"Hmmm, you've not told them about the fun day trip after?" he offers making you gasp forgetting that you had major things planned for the Monday and Tuesday before Italy.

"Yes guys we are going to drive over to Germany to Cologne so we can spend time in the theme park there!" you exclaim excited.

"Mmm she wanted to go to Ferrari Land but we are saving that for when we go to Abu Dhabi!" he interjects.

"Then we'll be going straight to Italy! Italy is one of Y/N's fav places guys!" Alex chuckles, you guys had met in Italy 2 years prior while he was in F2.

"Yes I'm excited to see you there!"

*Skip to Sunday!*

"So this is actually Alex's first race in Red Bull, he's starting from 17th today as qualifying wasn't what we were hoping for yesterday, was it hunny" you pan to Alex zipping up the outer part of his race suit. He pulls his headphones out and tilts his head to the side, a cute puppy dog expression resting on it.

"Qualifying, your first in Red Bull wasn't what you were hoping for? But it's today that matters!" you smile kindly at him to which he nods, knowing that yesterday he was still trying to get used to the car. It wasn't like the Toro Rosso he had driven since the start of the year, it was more aggressive, something that was a Max Verstappen driving style. But today is what would count, he agreed with you.

"Yeah. I mean it's a hard car to drive and even with the practice sessions it's still hard to get used to! Spa is also a difficult track, so yeah its just about getting used to it!" he smiles, pulling you in by your waist to his side before kissing you and running of somewhere into the garage.

"It's looking like an interesting season though guys. Lewis is strong, Ferrari is strong, we've got 3 new promising rookies one of them being my boyfriend! So yeah I'm excited for today!"

Max DNFed early on not even completing his first lap, whereas Alex stormed through the grid all the way from P17 to P5 gaining valuable points for Red Bull.

"You did amazing Alex! I'm so so proud of you!" you compliment hugging him as you were stood with the rest of the Red Bull Team! It was a really sweet moment. All of the team cheering for Alex as he pulled into the pits. Christian had congratulated him on an amazing first race and the rest of the team pulled him into hugs that you filmed.

The chaos in the garage was something you loved!

"Charles! Charles" you'd shouted over to him as you saw him walking to the cool down room preparing for him P1 podium!

"Oh Y/N! Hello!" he grins looking down at you.

"Well done on P1 it was an amazing race from you today!" you grin, pulling him into a side hug. You both chat for a little while before Seb comes out heckling him inside.

"Well guys, Belgium has been a blast! I'm going to edit these videos on the plane to Cologne and Italy!" you grin before ending up the vlog.

"Ah you all finished up for Belgium baby?" Alex asks peering over you shoulder wrapping his arms around your waist from behind.

"Yeah! I'm excited for Cologne! Did you say Lando and George were coming with us?" you ask, tilting your head to the side unsure if Alex's rookie friends were accompanying you on your two day theme park trip.

"Yeah, they don't need to go home, so they said it would be easier travelling with us!" Alex smiles swaying you side to side.

"This will be lots and lots of fun!" you exclaim.

Before you knew it you and Lando look it in turns driving the four of you across the Belgium border into Germany and to the Theme Park you guys would spend time in. You got there late Monday morning all of you being tired and not wanting to get up at the ass crack of dawn. You guys all enjoyed a hotel breakfast together.

All the other drivers were confused about the four all in very chipper moods and all animatedly discussing something.

They had of course asked where you were off to and after explaining you were going to a theme park. Charles, Pierre, Carlos and Daniel all agreed to join you guys which left them in a car behind you following you to the park.

Some people, like Lando, Carlos and George didn't want to go on some of the bigger rides. So it was left to the rest of you, you all changed seats making sure no-one was left alone the whole time. You guys went to all the little food stands, making sure to get Lando waffles and get Charles chocolate covered strawberries.

It was probably one of the best days out, and you knew that people especially the F1 fans would enjoy the vlog around the park. There was funny moments between Lando, Carlos and Daniel. Chares and Pierre had ended up on a kiddie ride just the two of them. You and George had been sat on the mine train together and were talking to each other in what you could only describe as a Texan Drawl.

"So how are you all feeling about Italy, home of Tifosi you've got a lot of pressure Charles" you smile over at him. You guys were all sat in a Chinese themed restaurant around a big circular table, talking about the season so far and what lies ahead.

"I mean, I felt good in Belgium the car had the pace. I feel like I can do the same in Italy" Charles admits.

"How about you babe, you think you can keep Golden Boy Max behind you?" you grin teasing your boyfriend who said he was stressing about Max and how he wont always DNF in a race.

"Yeah, I mean that car is literally built for Max. Pierre I'm sure would agree with me that its a hard car to drive because of that but I feel like I'm getting there" he offers.

And that's exactly how that weekend went. Alex placed ahead of Max, who did stay in the race while Charles won his second race of the season. It was an amazing race weekend followed by lots of shopping in Milan where you treated Alex to a gift congratulating him for his amazing races.

After Italy there was a big break before Singapore, rather than keeping on the road travelling you guys decided to go home and see both of your families in London. You were always travelling and coming home always felt like you were on some kind of reality TV show, where you were sat down before being unloaded with all the current family drama.

You and Alex would share look with each other, making gasps every now and then and interjecting where necessary. But it was always fun telling them about the stories from your own travels. The stories were more dramatic and chaotic from your days of solo travelling before you'd met Alex but you still had funny moments to report back to them.

And Alex's family always loved to hear what you and Alex and all your friends had been up too!

So coming home for this break was very needed!

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @spideybv28 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @kapsylia @laneyspaulding19 @lazybot @malynn @cassielikereading @viennakarma @teamnovalak @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @jlb20416

[folkookie97]

❝why'd you only call me when you're high?❞ — MYG

— SUMMARY: ❝ It's Yoongi's birthday and he starts feeling guilty for breaking up with you when you most needed him. ❞

— PAIRING: rockstar!yoongi x actress!reader

— TYPE: light angst, mild dark | rockstar!au, celebrities!au

— WORD COUNT: 907

— WARNINGS/TAGS: Part of "I Bet on Losing Dogs" One-Shots Collection, toxic love, exes to lovers, second chance romance, secret relationship, non-graphic smut (not with the reader), semi-public sex, Trust Issues, Implied/Referenced Alcoholism, ambiguous/open ending, Unplanned Pregnancy, arguing, Yoongi is bad at feeling here (maybe a lil bit toxic too lol), This part is based on Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High? (Arctic Monkeys), POV Second Person

— NOTES¹: This one-shot is part of the "I Bet On Losing Dogs" Collection, random scenarios of my AU where Yoongi is a toxic rockstar with trust issues and an alcohol addiction who secretly dated an actress at the beginning of her career.

— NOTES²: Happy bday Yoongi my sweetheart, I love you so much <3 (he was my ultimate bias from 2015 to 2019 guys, but I'll never get over him 😭😭)

— RELEASE DATE: March 08, 2024

— CROSSPOSTING: ao3

"So you must be the birthday guy of the party. Happy birthday, bro!"

Min Yoongi heard that last sentence a trillion times during the night, the insincerity of the congratulations already going unnoticed by his confused brain as he filled his body with an absurd amount of alcohol.

He hadn't been worried about nothing more since the last few hours. His face was no longer anything more than a mask whose faked fellow feeling had the sole intention of at least not making the situation even more uncomfortable for the guests and their random companions.

When the idea of celebrating his birthday with a party full of other celebrities came into his own mind, Yoongi didn't figured the bad scenarios that could happen at the private club. He just wanted to get rid of the feeling of loneliness that had been damaging him over the last few months. The impostor syndrome haunting him during sleepless nights with the creative block, whenever he tried writing some new songs for his new album.

The deadline until the new tour's start was short, and his patience was even shorter.

Yoongi just wanted to de-stress. Celebrate his special night with some friends from the same celebrities' world, drink a lot, eat some snacks and maybe have sex with random models. Everything he used doing before he met you.

All it took was drinking too much until he went to a far corner to make out with a Victoria's Secret's Angel who wasn't that famous, but at least made up for her lack of fame with her beauty and tongue technology.

However, maybe the weight of having a different mouth touching him after being used to feeling only someone specific for so long had been too much for his emotions heightened due alcohol.

Or maybe he felt guilty. Guilty for letting another woman touch him after sharing so many good moments with you.

Guilty for saying such cruel words to you during your latest arguments. Guilty for don't understanding your desire to see him publicly deny his dating rumors with other women. Guilty for accusing you of being paranoiac, too jealous and also accusing you of blame him for always putting his career before your relationship.

Guilty for never prioritizing you.

But mostly, guilty for leaving you when you needed him most. Guilty for accusing you of pregnancy trick for his fame and money. Guilty for always being a toxic boyfriend and already being a bad future dad.

Yoongi would always love you. He knew that. Everyone in his inner circle knew that. Even that hot model could realized that when he started crying right after cumming in her mouth.

But he didn't deserve your love. He didn't deserve your baby.

And being there, at his own pity party with his lips — and eyes — still swollen and more glasses in his hands as he continued greeting his guests only proved this cruel truth.

It was his fucking birthday. All he really wanted was being with you. Cuddling you, playing some of both of you favorite songs on his guitar, caressing your pregnant belly, talking to the baby...

Damn it! He just wanted you again. He just wanted being with you forever, being your husband. He wanted having a family with you. He needed to get you back. He needed his stupid party end up being useful, at least knocking some sense into his fucking mind.

With his vision blurred from tasting different colorful drinks, Yoongi searched for your number in his blocked contacts, letting out a long sigh with the increased guilt that hit in his chest when he realized that you didn't block him back.

So he pressed the call icon and waited.

Three rejected calls. Four missed calls. He could almost daydream, remembering you carrying your own shoes and calling him every possible curses while leaving your old apartment after one of your arguments.

Even though the clock on his cell phone showed that it was past three in the morning, he knew you were awake. Or at least you woken up with his fucking annoying stubbornness.

I'm so sorry love

It wasn't something very special, but it was as much as his high drunk state allowed him typing in your DMs without looking more stupid than his usual.

It wasn't a decent apology for everything he'd put you through lately. All the arguments, the swearing, the shade comments on the internet, his neglect about the baby...

Yoongi knew you deserved better words. You deserved all the love in the world. All the love he felt for you but never showed you in a healthy way.

But deep down, Yoongi knew you would answer him. He wasn't proud of being sure about that, but he knew it. He knew you better than you knew yourself.

Hi. Why'd you only call me when you're high?

And you unfortunately also knew him enough to know that alcohol was the cause behind his sudden motivation to contact you, after months of just ghosting your attempts to still save your relationship. Save your future family.

I'm so sorry

He practically repeated the same message before trying to click the call icon again.

This time, you answered, barely giving him time to process the situation before your trembling voice echoed through his phone. "Prove it to me without being fucking drunk as usual. Prove it to me without being at your stupid birthday party."

[twice-inamillion]

Reunion

Fluff, Light Smut, and Story Building

Chapter 226

1,060 Words

(The members return home after being on tour for almost a month. Happy moments are shared as the members enjoy their time together.)

It’s been a few days since the members arrived back from the States, and everyone is trying to get some rest or catch up. On the other hand, you have been trying to finish writing the lyrics of a song you’ve been working on for the past month. 

You watch the members interacting with each other, sharing their experiences with Sana. It’s nice seeing her laugh together with the girls after being separated for so long. You know that having a miscarriage, especially knowing that it was Sana’s dream to have a child of her own, was heartbreaking. You did your best to comfort her through the grieving process, keeping her busy, giving her attention, and just being there for her. Now she has her girls, you can tell that she’s doing much better; she’s a fighter. 

———— 

Right after arriving from the tour, the members came onto you like hungry wolves, hungry for the forbidden meat. The first one to quench their thirst was your wife, Jihyo. That night after arriving, she jumped you and made you fuck her until morning. Loud moans were heard through the halls, and holes were filled with cum. 

The second person to visit you was Dahyun while Da-eun took a nap. “Oppa, I missed you so much,” she said as she threw herself at you. She placed your hand inside her sweats, letting you know how wet she was. “I want you to fuck me, please. I’ve missed you.” Like a good fiancé, you answered the needs of your girl and fucked her on all fours as she covered her moans with the pillow. You tried to be as quiet as possible while Da-eun slept in her crib beside the bed.

The third person to approach you was Mina. She did it discreetly as you came from your office and pulled you into her room. She shyly closed the door, led you towards her bed, untied her gown, and dropped it on the floor. You don’t need any words to know what she wants, so you take off your shirt and drop your pants. She pushes you onto the bed and gets on top of you. Mina grabs your cock and aligns it to her leaking entrance, and rides you cowgirl style. 

Momo is the fourth one and sneaks into the shower with you. She brings along Chaeyoung for the ride, and the three of you enjoy a steaming hot session as they wash your body with their chest. You take turns using their ass while they kiss and finger each other. 

Nayeon is the sixth member who sneaks into your room. She pulls your cock out and teases you with a handjob, causing you to wake up. The two of you get into a spooning position and insert your cock as you slowly thrust inside of her. Nayeon falls asleep with your cock inside her womb.

Tzuyu wakes you up as she jumps on you while you’re asleep. “Good morning, Daddy!” You lift your head and see it’s Tzuyu, who’s wearing a thin white top and booty shorts. “Daddy. Since the rest got their fill, now it’s my turn.” She digs into your pants and pulls out your cock with a full hard morning wood. “Daddy is all ready for me.” She lowers herself and goes down on you, sucking on your cock until it's completely covered in her salvia. “I want Daddy to pick me up and fuck me silly,” as she gives you puppy dog eyes. She wraps her legs around your waist, and you pick her up and insert your cock inside her tight cunt. She bounces on your cock as you grab her thick thighs and ass. Suddenly, you hear a knock and see the door open, only to see Jeongyeon. You see her completely frozen, watching as the youngest member bounces on your cock in pure pleasure. 

———————

The only break you got from the member's attacks was when they needed to attend the 2019 Genie Awards. Sana and the babies sat down and watched their aunties and mothers on TV. They all pointed at the screen when they saw their mother perform on stage. 

After the awards, some of the girls had some time to relax. You and Jihyo got together and got her caught up with what was going on back home while she was on tour.

You started off by updating her on the progress of the construction and the center that Sana introduced. She liked the layout of the center that both you and Sana came up with and found it cute when you told her about Sana’s idea of riding the kids to school on a bicycle. 

“Also, I was able to find a video of what happened to Sana during that day.”

Jihyo looks serious and says, “Are you doing to do anything about it?”

“Already did. Served them with a defamation lawsuit. I know JYP will not do much about it, but I will.”

“Good, JYP is nice and all, but he doesn’t like involving the law regarding his idol's emotional health.”

“Yeah, I can tell.” 

“Anyways, what about the “thing” you told me about?”

“It’s a secret.”

“Come on, tell me, I’m your wife.”

“It’s still not ready yet. I can only say that if this album does well, the members will enjoy it. Trust me.”

————-

While the members were on tour, you had the chance to finish the last song of the upcoming album. You had a hard time coming up with the title track and had multiple options for the title song, but after spending time with Sana and seeing how much her members helped her during her lowest points inspired you.

You wrote about the emotions of their darkest moments and the hardships of being an idol to them, confining within themselves to overcome any obstacles.

You call each member one by one to record their part of the song, and every time, they tear up when they learn the meaning of it. They each hug you and get excited to shoot the music video for the title track of “Feel Special.”