#i tried fitting it into the storyline u have written down

[wcvensouls-archive]

         having been somewhat connected through their families and clans even before they were born, ayaka was familiar with who kazuha was  —  and, to some extent, with what had happened with the kaedehara clan. she was still very young when it had all gone down and people in the kamisato clan did not speak much of the matter, but she had been able to catch on a thing or two over time. of course that it was far from being the full story, but she was well aware of that.

         she definitely knew enough to recognize the wanderer when stumbling upon him on the streets of inazuma. she wondered at first whether or not she should say anything, but in the end, the diplomat in her had won. ayaka approached him with a friendly and small smile, nodding lightly in a sign of respect.  “ you are kaedehara kazuha, am i correct?  kamisato ayaka, it is a pleasure to properly make your acquaintance. ”

@windprose  :  old starter call .

[blackknightgargiemoviephile]

How To Train Your Dragon Saga

In the beginning, I was never really interested in watching the movie and never even bothered to watch the trailer, since we thought it was one of those cliche failure movies (and Dreamworks hasn't really had a very good track record of good animated movies at the time), but after being bombarded with tons of Toothcup fanfics and fanarts and after very high recommendations by my friend Jello13 from dA, I finally got down to watching the movie. Boy, was I glad I took my friend's recommendation to watch this movie, and the subsequent sequels after that, because after 3, 4 friggin' times, I still fucking LOVE this movie!!!

Here's my findings of the saga:

Apparently this movie was based on a children's novel written by Cressida Cowell which focuses on the 2nd book in a 10-volume book franchise. There are certain deviations between the real Hiccup and Toothless and the storyline as a whole, but after reading the summary of the original story, I think I like the movie version better. In fact even the writer said so in her blog that she likes the deviation as the movie captured the core essence of her story and it was amazing to see her story to be interpreted this way.

The storyline and the pacing is very good, and the sarcastic humour and slight optimism of Hiccup despite people thinking he's anything BUT a Viking is very intriguing. I love his catchphrases like "I'm way too muscular for their tastes. They wouldn't know what to do with all...this" and "Thank you for summing that up" and his famous line "You just gestured to ALL of me!" is just some of the LOL-worthy lines the talented Jay Baruchel who voices Hiccup does.

I was totally shocked to find out that Gerard Butler plays the role of Stoick, Hiccup's old man! I have never expect him, who is known for his brawniness and action-packed persona, made famous in the movie 300, would actually play a voice-over for a cartoon character. After finding out, spotting his voice and hearing the familiarity was much, much easier.

And of course, the creme de la creme of the entire movie: TOOTHLESS!! He is just so, so, so, soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo uber cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute~~~~!!!!! When I read about him in fanfics and caught glimpses of him through fanarts, I was thinking, "Hey, this dragon is quite cute." Now amplify that feeling by a gajillion times more. That's how I feel about Toothless. He started off a little vicious with his snake-like slit for eyes, trying to act strong and tough like the dragon he was, but the moment he let his guard down a little, he got these pair of big doe eyes that is just so MOE and SQUEE-worthy. And of course I finally learn how he got his namesake: with retractable teeth that he can materialize at will

My most favourite scene of the entire movie would be this scene where Toothless finally was at peace with Hiccup and allowed him to touch him. The way Toothless tried to copy his drawing, and then growled whenever Hiccup stepped on his drawing, then Hiccup moved to avoid the lines in tune with the music until finally they were so close they were allowed to touch was just so AWW-worthy. And the music score was perfect too, especially the title of that score: Forbidden Friendship. Isn't that just sweet?

The part where Hiccup and Toothless slowly develop that bond while trying to get Toothless back on his flight feet again was also very interesting as they slowly worked together and forget each other's differences to reach a common goal, while at the same time trying to learn about each other, and Hiccup using that knowledge to good use (the eel and the scratching of the neck part was really epic), making him the life of the team, much to his crush, Astrid's chagrin.

I also love the part where Hiccup tries to convince everyone during the final exam of killing a dragon that dragons are not what they think they are, and tried to pacify the Monstrous Nightmare only to be interrupted by Stoick and having Toothless coming to the rescue (damsel in distress much, Hiccup? XD) and revealed their relationship. It felt really sad and my heart just broke when Hiccup shouted Toothless for him not to kill Stoick and Toothless looked at him with his doe eyes, then Hiccup tries in vain to stop everyone from hurting Toothless, and that argument which led to his disowning, and earning back his role as a son by proving his worth and Toothless' reputation, though a cost of his leg. I was wondering where would be the scene where he looses his leg, since I read that he had a prosthetic in fanfics, but turns out it happened in the near end of the movie, and literally mirrored Toothless' missing left tail fin.

Ending is a bit cliche where he gets the girl, he is lauded as a war hero and gained the respect of everyone including his father, the dragons made peace with humans and all that, but still it was a very heartwarming cliche scene. One that leaves a smile on your face and a sigh of contentment in your heart.

Speaking of Astrid, not really sure it's because of that yaoi in me, but I never really saw Astrid as a suitable pairing for Hiccup. I know, I'm not usually one for bestiality, but seriously, can't you just FEEL the love between Hiccup and Toothless to the point where you can consider them as lovers? Toothcup (Toothless/Hiccup) pairings are in the rage right now since the movie has been uber popularize, and you cannot deny that sort of relationship exist, right?

This one, personally I feel, is almost as par as the first one. Not better, not worse, but more or less par. Hiccup and Astrid are still together, but the Toothcup shipper in me just don't feel like they match somehow. Moreso, suddenly out of the blue, Snotlout and Fishlegs were heads over heels with Ruffnut, which I ABSOLUTELY have NO CHEMISTRY feel whatsoever! Even after I've watched their TV series that led to the second movie, I STILL don't get the vibe or the chemistry between those three people. It's like "Wait, what?" moment.

Although that moment when Ruffnut was just totally thirsty for Eret was absolutely hilarious though. I couldn't help laughing and cringing at the same time.

When the moment Hiccup's mom Valka showed up, I was not expecting her to be so... skinny. Stoick said that he made helmets out of Hiccup's mom's breast plate, and it seemed pretty big, but looking at her, she didn't look like someone who was close to being a big bosom woman, but what is continuity anyways? LOL Though Hiccup definitely has inherited her knack for dragons. Guess it's in the blood after all.

I teared up a little when Stoick died, and I felt so bad that their bromance was threatened by this, but thankfully Hiccup still loves Toothless and is willing to forgive him and try to bring him back to his side. Goes to show how deep their bond is, and Toothless ended up becoming the Alpha Dragon was one of the most epic moments in the whole movie.

It also kinda interesting that Hiccup has somehow became pretty hot in this movie. Was pretty surprised at how he transformed from the awkward tiny little runt of a boy to a strapping man LOL

Plot feels similar to the 2nd one, but the ending was so so SO bittersweet. A fitting ending, but sweet yet painful for me to watch.

My heart broke at the scene wen Hiccup was complaining about Toothless being in love n said "Am I not enough?" and I was like internally screaming "YES! U ARE ENOUGH!! U TWO ARE ENOUGH!! FUCK THAT LIGHT FURY!!"

Throughout the courtship scene btwn Toothless and the Light Fury i was like internally screaming "NO, SHE'S A TRAP! SHE'S A FUCKING TRAP! HICCUP, WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS?! I'M NOT HAPPY WITH THIS! I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS!!"

I cried like a fucking baby, especially at the end of the movie. It was like I knew it was happening, that they were gonna break up, but I was in denial, then when Toothless hugged Hiccup goodbye, I lost it, waterworks all over. In fact, waterworks all the way to the end at their final reunion ugly-cried like a fucking baby.

It did ended perfectly; perfectly bittersweet and perfectly heartbreaking and I was like "This is it. It's official. It's over. My Toothcup ship has fucking sank!!"

Fuck you, DreamWorks, you have killed my bromance!! Gahh!! I hate and love this movie at the same time!

Overall rating:

HTTYD: 9/10

HTTYD2: 7.5/10

HTTYD: 9/10

[livlepretre]

ok wait i have some thoughts about acotar that you may or may not agree with... but basically i loved acotar/acomaf but hated acowar and i didn't even try to read acofas. there was a lot i hated about acowar but basically it sums up to 1) hated how sjm tried to retcon rhys into being this perfect amazing flawless person kind of destroying everything that was interesting about him in the first couple books. 2) THE EXTREMELY GRATUITOUS AND NUMEROUS SEX SCENES IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR. LIKE ??? oh god especially that one scene where feyre wakes rhys up by... yeah. 3) king of hybern fell so flat as a villain i was expecting to get more backstory or smthg on him but no he was just... there. and evil. for no real reason. and then they killed him. like... ok. 4) TAMLIN WAS SO OOC. AND I HATE HOW SHE VILLAINIZED HIM. i also find the whole fandoms take on tamlin to be very bland and ridiculous. like yeah he obviously was not the right person for feyre and he made some serious mistakes for which he should be held accountable, but he was traumatized too! he was a very flawed character but he's not a villain!!! that scene where he's like making rude sexual comments about feyre in front of everyone felt so ooc for him. hated it. 4) mor's coming out storyline was... very bizarrely handled, and frankly i just found it hard to believe that mor's sexuality was something sjm had planned from the start of the series. as a bi woman that whole plot just rubbed me the wrong way. anyway. ya those are my thoughts but i'm curious to know what u think about this series lolol

Oof complicated question. 

I think in general I come down positively on ACOTAR based mostly on the strength of the first 2 novels? I read ACOTAR and ACOMAF back to back right after ACOMAF came out, and let me tell you: I was obsessed. I was devastated. I was enthralled. It filled some very particular requirements for what I really wanted-- it was gorgeous and atmospheric and really frightening and romantic. I thought the characters were well developed, and I just thoroughly enjoyed the world-building with vicious alien faeries and the real sense of danger, as well as the magic and the breathtaking imagery. As a painter myself, I LOVED reading about painting in a way that felt so true to the actual experience of what it’s like-- so much rarer and harder to actually find than one would think-- ACOTAR and An Enchantment of Ravens are the only two novels I can think of that even grasp the experience. I loved Feyre as a human, loved loved loved the trials, and I loved how even after she became High Fae, there was an element to it that was incredibly disturbing-- the idea of having a human soul in a fae body, which meant that things that sort of roll off of the fae around her-- like violence and killing-- profoundly disturb her and wreck her soul. I loved that. (at least, that was how I interpreted the “be glad for your human heart” thing, and also why I assumed she didn’t recognize the mating bond... that maybe, as a human soul in a fae body, it would be lost in translation for her until it was actually consummated). 

One of the things I also really loved about ACOMAF was that it took everything in ACOTAR and subtly turned it on its side. At that point, I was used to 1st love = true love, so actually reading a narrative where a heroine could change partners was really refreshing, and I liked all the ways that, looking back, we could realize that Tamlin wasn’t it-- that he didn’t try to free her from Under the Mountain (wow that should have been obvious) or how he never offered to teach her to read in the 1st book. I also really liked Feyre’s observation that she needed to feel protected in the 1st book because of where she was coming from then, but that by the 2nd book, because of the trauma of her imprisonment, she felt smothered and trapped. I thought the 2nd book did a good job of showing how Tamlin and Feyre could be really trying to make their pieces fit together the way they once did, but they had both been too changed by their experiences to work and had in fact become poison for each other. They both had PTSD, and I felt that was clear in the narrative. And I was happy for Feyre to leave, I loved the exploration of her depression and her slow recovery, and I was okay with how Tamlin was presented in that way because there is a way in which he really was as helpless as her-- yes, his actions were abusive, but I didn’t think that came from having an abuser’s personality. The tragedy was in the fact that he was also suffering and screwed up, and that meant that Feyre had to leave for her own sake, and that Rhysand ended up being what she needed. 

I’ll put my problems with the series under the cut. 

My problems started in ACOWAR, and it was primarily a characterization problem with Feyre that bothered me. To be honest, SJ Maas has this thing where she makes her main characters (male and female) just the most extraordinary over the top horrendous bitches out of the blue and it’s just like what the fuck. I think she does it for drama, and while I love a cold bitch (NESTA IS MY QUEEN)... that’s not Feyre. Her actions in the Spring Court were so much crueler than I would have anticipated. And it bothered me the way that those actions hurt everyone there, which was wild to me, as it was her home once, and that’s not Feyre. She’s the girl so empathetic that she gave those water faeries her bracelet to use as tribute. That she mourned so hard it nearly broke her for those faeries she killed in her third task. The whole point of the 1st novel was that she started with hate in her heart, but that she’s naturally so empathetic when given a chance to think about anything other than bare survival that love comes rushing in. So, I really disliked Feyre being a bitch for the sake of being a bitch. She felt unrecognizable to me. I realized recently that part of this is that Feyre actually completes her character arc in the 2nd book-- at that point, she’s figured out who she is, gained peace, happiness, and empowerment through it, and found a home. She’s answered all of the conflict within herself, so there’s just not really anywhere for her character to go in the 3rd book, which is part of why she feels so weird as a pov character. 

There were other things of course. Rhys had lost that edge I loved in him so much. (what was the point of that prologue, btw?) This is a little thing but giving Lucien a last name really wrecked a lot of the wonderful strangeness of the world building and I resent it. Especially since no one else has a last name. Sarah was on the right track when she gave Rowan the last name “Whitethorn.” THAT is a faerie last name. I don’t know what this Vanserra stuff is. What else. Hybern was supes whatever. Feyre making bargains was pretty much what we’d seen before. I didn’t mind the sex scenes because that’s just what you can expect from an SJM novel, and I don’t really have any comments on Mor’s coming out story. I also suspect that she was originally written as straight in ACOMAF, but then SJM changed her mind while working on ACOWAR. I’m not going to fault her for attempting to write more inclusively and more diversely (which, as we know, is already not something she excels at). I did find the hook up with Lucien’s dad real awkward though for everyone involved though. YIKES. TOGAS. YIKES. SJM also does this thing in her finales where too much of the books tend to be about the battles and the actual war, and that’s not nearly as interesting as the character moments that might occur because of the war. 

So, that leaves my primary complaint, which is Tamlin. I kind of think that it’s not even a matter of him being OOC, so much as Feyre being completely hateful toward him. Like, I remember thinking he was wildly OOC when he was siding with Hybern, a human hater, as he had specifically said in the 1st book that he would always fight against that. I remember being THRILLED when it turned out that he was playing Hybern, and how disappointed he was in Feyre for ever thinking him capable of actually siding with Hybern and bringing up that conversation they had in ACOTAR. I also loved it when he helped her escape the POW camp, and when he told her to be happy at the end. But honestly, after Feyre fucked him over SO! HARD! in the beginning of the novel, not at all surprised that he showed up at that meeting ready to talk smack. I was on his side during that whole thing, because by that point, I was like, get wreckt Feyre. (Which KILLS ME because I LOVED Feyre in the first 2 books, I think SJM really does mistake just horrendous bitchiness with confidence or something? It just horrified and embarrassed me the whole novel). I really do hope that Tamlin gets some sort of arc going forward. I was so depressed by our visit in him in ACOFAS-- sitting alone in that crumbling manor. I think he actually does deserve a “redemption” arc, although I don’t think he actually has to be redeemed. 

On the subject of bitchy Feyre: I do NOT like the way she treats Nesta in ACOFAS. I guess we see that Feyre has an empathy problem in ACOTAR in that she totally misreads her sisters in the first few chapters and thinks of them in the most uncharitable light possible, and of course, once she decides she’s done with Tamlin, she always assumes the worst of him, but wow. The way she handles things with Nesta just horrifies me. I just can’t imagine treating my siblings like that, or extending them so little empathy. 

And ACOFAS made me think about building snowmen and other horrible fluffy things and it was not my favorite. 

But all this being said I know myself and I am definitely going to read A Court of Silver Flames. I think it might be really good, actually. 

[herondalelucies]

oh and uhm just to keep u busy: all of them for the captain 🙈🙈

🩸 - Does your OC believe in blood being thicker than water? (meaning family relationships and loyalties are the most important)

pre-crowned she def did, but i say thru out the crowned timeline found family hits hehe (i really just integrated found family everywhere and made it so everyone loves each other and are most loyal to their friends)

✂️ - What kind of thing would have your OC cut someone out of their life? How likely are they to let someone back in?

O: i’d like to take the moral ground and say “you can’t murder someone they love!” but then i’d be a hypocrite and the entire storyline of crowned would be void. i think you’d have to be a horrible person who doesn’t care about anyone else in order to not be in bryce’s life. (the distinction is that tanashi cares about people, so bryce can see the good side of him)

🎭 - Does your OC show different sides of themselves to different people?

yes of course! when in Captain mode she has to be stoic, on the alert for danger, and throughout the story she’s still trying to retain this bc she likes to feel in control and is planning for the future. but there are moments of vulnerability with tanashi as the two of them fall in love <3

🩺 - Does your OC accept help easily? Are they willing to admit when they need help?

yes, actually, because being a captain means she has to know how to balance roles and do what’s best for the safety of her charge. bryce isn’t afraid to accept karina’s help bc she’s proud, but rather bc she does have to be suspicious with karina at first, same with tanashi

💡 - How does your OC enact plans? Do they plan down to the smallest details, or do the wing it?

plan, plan, plan! it’d be a disaster if she ever tried to wing anything because that’s how royals get assassinated. 

🌋 - What’s your OCs temper like? Are they a slow boil, or an instant explosion?

slow boil! i honestly don’t think i’ve written a scene of bryce exploding, because she’s very much into control so she doesn’t give in to temper that easily.

⏰ - What is your OC like at timekeeping? Are they punctual, or always running late?

punctual! you be late as a guard then well,,, things go wrong

🎁 - What kind of gift-giver are they? Do they give thoughtful gifts? Expensive gifts? Practical gifts?

i answered in the last ask!

📎 - How organised is your OC? Do they keep on top of responsibilities, or leave things to the last minute?

on top of responsibilities! same reasoning for all the other questions xD 

🧸 - On a scale of 1 - 10, how ‘soft’ is your OC? 1 being the edgiest of edges and 10 being a literal teddy bear that cries at everything? (Bonus questions, where on the scale would your OC place themselves, and where would they like to be on the scale?)

on the surface, bryce would be like a 4, with the same reasonings of lucy, but inside she’s more leaning towards a 7. she’d like to think she’s a 5 though, so she can be balanced and try not to let emotions steer her while also being caring and loving

💬 - Is your OC much of a talker? Do they only speak when spoken to? (Or not even then?) Do they ever talk over others?

a talker! she’s usually at the forefront of conversations, always ready to plan and take control whenever things go wrong. people look up to her for advice too

🌅 - What is your OCs favourite time of day? Are they a morning person or a night owl?

morning ! the start of a new day, new possibilities, another day of routine and being good at what you’re doing; she’s too tired at night to do anything but get good rest

🥦 - Does your OC eat healthily or live off junk food?

i explained this with tanashi, but i’d say healthy! she grew up in the palace, had ready access to food, but indulged in sweets sometimes with raya when they were kids. but healthy foods mean a better diet which means better fitness which means you’re probs going to do better at being a guard

🍹 - Does your OC drink? If so, what’s their drink of choice?

nope~ i don’t drink so it’s hard for me to write something i haven’t experienced. in reality, she’s probs had like wine or light alcohol at parties, because palace functions always do, but i’ll be very real that i don’t actually know anything about chinese alcohol

🍺 - What kind of drunk are they? (e.g. talkative, sleepy, flirty etc.)

idk O: can’t even tell you what kind of drunk i am so this is too much thinking xd

eden LOL i love you <3 wow this was a lot of info xd 

[imagine-lumpygrab]

For the fanfic ask meme... C, D, H L, M, Q, and U

@charliecharlo I keep procrastinating when replying pls don’t kill meh

C: What character do you identify with most?

Of those in my fics? Welp, if I had to only choose from my AT writing then there’s not much choice there. After giving it some thought I decided that I – surprisingly – don’t identify with Lemongrab all that much. The lemonboy has got some trauma I have never experienced and, unlike me, is currently in the process of getting his life together and has a girlfriend. So I think – and it’s equally surprising – that I identify with LSP the most. She didn’t really have that much of a reason to run away from her parents but because she’s impulsive (like I tend to be) she did it anyways. It reminds me of how I started going camping with this scouting club. Going on my first three-week camping trip was like a punch to the guts, and so must’ve been living in Ooo, sleeping in a forest, making herself shelter, (not) getting along with other creatures... But she rarely loses her confidence in front of others. She doesn’t allow herself to give up, partly because she wants to show off, and I get that. Because despite genuinely wanting to be a best me I can possible be, there’s a small bit of me that wants the approval of others, and LSP yearns for this approval too.

Also, she loves Lemongrab and supports him with her heart and soul and I definitely identify with that sentiment :D

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with “Pretty, pretty lemonman” and “Will everybody please give him a little bit of space”?

Y’know it’s a weird coincidence, but when I started writing my AT fanfics, I started writing down songs that the reader could potentially listen to? I guess? And I never did that before, so it’s funny that I’m answering it here.

I don’t have a specific playlist I could provide a link to, at least not yet. BUT my main inspiration and mood setting music is made by Cavetown, who for example made a song named “Lemonboy,” I mean, what a coincidence! I think if no other, their songs “So Much” and “Meteor shower” should definitely be on any potential Lumpygrab/Lemongrab/Adventure Time related playlists. But almost all of their songs really fit the bittersweet aesthetic most Lemongrab-related fanart possesses.

H: How would you describe your style?

Most of the time it’s all hugs, softness, occasionally wings and/or dancing. Very rarely nightmares, stress-talking and endless tears, and also hugs.

My style consists of everyone being happy, although sometimes they have to suffer first. It’s great because if you’re a reader who likes angst with happy endings, my angst is almost guaranteed to always end well :)

L: What's the weirdest AU you've ever come up with?

Well, you reminded me that we’ve come up with what we call the “David Černý AU” where everything is the same except the Czech artist David Černý is Lemongrab’s architect. He builds cars with four legs, buses with muscular arms, and giant babies with barcodes for faces. In our reality they’re all statues. In his reality? They become cryptids or normal Ooo citizens :D

That means when he builds Lemongrab’s castle it’s frickin magnificent.

This is, however, more @charliecharlo’s AU than mine, honestly, I just provided photos :D

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

I am... still working on “Battle over the planet Lemongrab,” and developing that world. Because of surprising demand on Charlie’s Discord server, I’m also considering adding more chapters to my High School AU, but I don’t know about that yet. I’m always open to prompts so if you got them then throw them at me!

There’s two AU one-shots I’m trying to focus on, but I won’t specify what those are about just yet.

Q: Do you have any discarded scenes/storylines/projects?

Not really, no. I know I’ve said it many times, but I don’t have that many AT fics and even though I haven’t worked on some of them for months, I’m not considering them discarded just yet. Just... works in progress. Forever and ever.

U: A pairing you might like to write for, but haven't tried yet.

Well, if I’m being honest, I’m considering writing a self-insert with Breakfast Princess? Just because she’s adorably tsundere and I wanna make her a better person. But I haven’t written self-insert since I was like twelve so I still don’t know if I wanna do that.

Thanks for asking!

~Secret~

[devintrinidad]

10 GIFs of Anime that You Love, Then Tag 10 People

Just got tagged by @chemicalflashes.

Durarara

One of the first few anime I watched. I adored how the intricate stories were intertwined with others; how a bystander in one scene could be a hero or a villain in another. A choice that one makes can easily have devestaring consequences. And of course, the mastermind himself: Orihara Izaya.

Death Note

Oldie, yes. Overrated, probably. Completely worth watching and still able to discuss a decade after completion? Along with a few movies, musical adaptations, and a live action remake? Oh, yes!

Favorite characters are Near and Misa. The former for his cool nature that resembles L’s, but ultimately serves as a better allegory for Justice because he doesn’t find Kira for fun. No, he captures and probably would have him imprisoned for life because it’s his duty as L’s successor. He’s also heavily under-appreciated by the fandom. The latter for her adaptability and unpredictability in situations. Did you guys watch the Yorsuba arc? The girl was calculating how cute she was going to be. Plus, she’s not mentally well (her parents were murdered in front of her), but she still managed to handle herself SO WELL during her time as a prisoner under L’s inhuman methods to seek out the Second Kira. Again, she’s under-appreciated.

Death Parade

Brilliant idea. Has a possible tie in to Death Note. The opening was laughably so misleading!

There are some flaws, like plot holes and unfinished storylines, but it held up pretty well. We learned about the characters through how they interact with one another—especially when put under pressure. The Arbiters are amazing in that they can’t question the system, and yet, in the end, Decim tries to understand and formulate how Chiyuki is going to be finally put to rest.

If nothing else, just watch for the skating scene and the opening sequence.

Cells at Work (Hataraku Saibou)

How could I not add this show??? I’m not that great science, but I have been intimately acquainted with how the body works (I’m frankly disappointed no one has called 1146 a granulocyte yet and we haven’t seen any neurons in the manga 😞). Also...3803 is basically me: I’m terrible at directions, I’m continuously learning new things because I moved away, and the way she met 1146...is kind of how I met my best friend, hehehe.

That said, I’m really in love with this anime/manga fandom and hope to continue writing for it. (Insert self promotion: please read my fanfics on my main platform which is ffnet!)

Another reason why I love CAW...

The neutrophil squad.

...and wbc x rbc...and by that, I mean any or all of those wbc squad can get paired with 3803. Because I have a soft spot for reverse harems. *cough Ouran High School Host Club*

Hetalia: Axis Powers

This show made me love geography and my country so much. It’s funny, it’s hilarious, and it’s so heartwarming how the fandom likes to make all sorts of fanmade stuff to expand on what Hima-papa gives us. (YES, IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2018, I SHALL REFER TO HIMARYU-SENSEI AS HIMA-PAPA. FIGHT ME.)

Is Hetalia dead? I don’t know, but the fandom and one particular FanFiction by @cultureandseptember really helped me out a few years back.

Bungou Stray Dogs

I love literature, good looking animation, and smarmy little know-it-alls who like to play the fool. Hehehe, I’m planning on reading No Longer Human when I get the time. Does that mean Osamu Dazai is my favorite character? Well...

Can you blame me if I said yes? He’s so charming and enigmatic that you can’t help but love him. However, I think I really love him because I struggle with dark thoughts and suicidal ideation from time to time. I haven’t actively sought it out quite like he has in the past, but well... hehehe! I can also relate because he’s kind of like an outsider in the Agency due to his past—he’s different because he can’t actively cancel out your abilities, which always makes him a threat.

Anywhoozles, I’m still waiting to see the movie...Le sigh.

K Project

This. This is not the best anime out there. Seriously.

The animation gets wonky here and there, they do the women in here a huge disservice, and they put too much emphasis on how great Mikoto Suoh. Like, he’s great and all, but the dude has no effect on the story except for the last season.

With that said, I think the main selling point here isn’t the anime, but the side materials like the manga/novels. You get to appreciate the backstories of so many of the characters and you get to feel for them because some of them have suffered so much! (Read: Fushimi Saruhiko).

I think you can get the same amount of enjoyment if you stick to the novels/manga.

Favorite characters: Scepter 4 Alphabet Squad. They are the best boys. Also, Lieutenant Awashima Seri. And Fushimi Saruhiko. You know what? Just put down Blue Clan here. They’re all nerds and they enjoy it.

Also: Domyoiji Andy reminds me of U-4989 from CAW. So...

Violet Evergarden

Remember how I said that I liked literature? This entire anime is about the power of not only the written word, but of also the act of writing, sending, and receiving those words. The anime may be episodic in nature, but you can really connect with the character through her terrible backstory and really feel for her when she realizes that she needs to face her past. PTSD is real and I think the anime really handled the post war aspect of this torn down world really well.

I’m also a sucker for typewriters, steam punk, and characters that don’t really know how to function in society (but learn over the course of the story).

Watch this if you want feels...and get ready for episode ten.

Samurai Champloo

This takes place in feudal era Japan.

But there’s rapping.

And breakdancing.

And guys spraying paint everywhere.

Also, there’s a sunflower samurai we gotta look for???

Hahahah, while episodic in nature, this was a joy to watch. You never get to know the characters really well and when we reach our mission’s end, it seems to fall short, but it’s not about that. The journey is what makes this anime worth it simply because the characters interactions are rife with hilarity and all three mains balance each other out. There’s a fanfic out there that describes them in detail, but in a succinct manner that had me melting. (https://m.fanfiction.net/s/2351750/1/The-Order-of-Things) check it out when you have the time.

Anyway, for those of you who have watched it, I sincerely hope that they meet again in the future.

(But, let’s be real. They probably didn’t).

Tokyo Mew Mew

Guys.

This isn’t a joke.

I have a soft spot for this anime because this was my first ever anime I watched where I realized that this was anime. This was like my gateway anime. Not Sailor Moon. Not Naruto.

This.

Looking back on this, it wasn’t the best—it’s your typical monster of the week deal with some environmental activism involved but for what it’s worth...it’s good??? Like, even the 4Kids dub (DONT CRUCIFY ME) even added some songs that were really great??? Bree Sharp’s Don’t Wake Me Up was my jam??? It fit better than the original Japanese counterpart???

TMM also introduced me to shipping, FanFiction, and amvs. That’s right, without this little gem, I would be writing/writing/thinking about FanFiction. I probably wouldn’t have been an anime watcher without this magical girl anime from the early 2000s.

So, yeah. This anime will always have a place in my heart because without it, I probably wouldn’t have become the person I am today. Thank you, Tokyo Mew Mew.

(This was also the birth of my first OTP before I knew what OTPs were: Kisshu/Ichigo...although nowadays, people are calling them Quiche/Strawberry? Hehehe, there’s so many things wrong here, I only like interactions, not the implications. That’s why I’m completely okay with Aoyama/Ichigo being endgame—and they’re actually really cute in the sequel manga???)

Honorable mentions (because I only thought of these now after I wrote analyses and gifs):

Five Centimeters Per Second

Ouran High School Host Club

Kimi no Nawa

Wolf Children

Psycho Pass

Trigun

(There’s like a dozen more, but nah. I’m good).

Aaaaaaaaaand that’s a wrap!!!

I’m tagging everyone who reads this! MWUAJAHAHAH!

I’m kidding; I don’t have that many friends here (if any) who are into anime so, umm...try it!

Thanks to @chemicalflashes for this amazing opportunity to find out why I love anime so much!

[hoopyfrood]

so my review for disenchanted is... it's fun. it doesn't go anywhere amazing, but there's some fun jokes and some fun characters. its an enjoyable watch with some characters that keep you watching, though i kept wanting them to wring more out of each episode, there is so much potential for a lot of the side characters.

as for characters, most characters aren't really fleshed out, so i didn't feel much connection to most of them, i only really care about luci tbh and bunty is sweet. i'm interested to see what happens with queen oona but seeing as most of her appearances have been small jokes or short appearances, idk, i'm not holding out for much development for her.

bean is good, in theory, though there's not much to her. they have a stereotype of what a non feminine woman is and keep falling back on it, falling back on her being drunk or high somewhere. we don't learn about her childhood, her education, her hobbies, her aspirations. her storylines revolve around her dad or elfo, mostly, under the guise of being about her journey.

some side characters become more interesting, like the kings advisor, odval, although i wish the secret society had been more than just a quick joke. others remain flat and uninteresting, clearly plot devices, not even offering jokes that are that good. i liked getting to learn more about bunty, and the king has some funny moments, but a lot of characters are forgettable. luci is a great break from the repetition or obvious storylines, he's unpredictable and chaotic and kept me watching. he's two steps away from being a fourth wall breaking character, narrating the events in his own way. love eric andres dry tone, luci is a great character i'd love to learn more about.

the pacing of the episodes is a bit random, there's no real connection between most of them and they don't always flow well, sometimes it felt like people's opinions and decisions changed randomly just to keep the plot going. the last episode repeated the same scene several times. the reccuring plot involving luci didn't really grip me and didn't go anywhere really, and has now been overshadowed by the plot of the last episode. i am interested to see where that goes, but i do wonder if the people who sent luci will get a moment to shine and be relevant again.

people keep comparing it to futurama, to the simpsons, but i don't think that gets us anywhere. it's made in a different era, set in a different era, made in different circumstances than for tv viewing. the voice acting is great, it's fun hearing familiar voices, and luci is reminiscent of benders carelessness (also reminds me of paul from the film paul which is a fave of mine), but it's a very different story. there are some weird vague mentions to things like feminism and gender spectrums but they fall flat, i felt unsure if they were being played as a joke or a reference and what the point of them was. there's also that random mention to cultural appropriation, speaking of which, the only two characters of colour are side characters, one completely just a plot device, with ambiguous race and not much depth. seriously guys? you put in elves and gnomes and lizard people but racial diversity was just too hard? put down the d&d handbooks and start being creative.

okay, i'll mention elfo, but briefly. he's annoying. i'm saying it, everyone else seems to be saying it, but what the fuck. it's not his obliviousness and naivety that's annoying, that could've been used well, but it's his crush on bean. i'm not invested, i don't care, it's not interesting. i really don't feel bad for this lil guy fancying a woman out of his league. they tried to give us a different female hero but still went with the 'poor nice guy who she ignores' trope? she deserves what leela and lisa didn't get with the guys chasing after them: the freedom to say no and have it stop. it added nothing to the plot, it became his whole character arc instead of learning to be bad and explore a new place. i'm glad nobody else seems to like him or the idea of him and bean ending up together. seriously, it's so overused, esp in groenings works. i just didn't have the patience to care about him any more as soon as i saw where it was going. bean escaped his advances, but barely, and suddenly she really cared about him despite being ambivalent earlier. the time progression didn't seem real enough to amount to that much character development, the time passage wasn't even clear, it just felt like ten episodes and suddenly luci and bean really cared about elfo all of a sudden. can't relate.

ok, elfo out of the way, what did i enjoy? the scenery, the banging theme song, the good one liners, every character john dimaggio voiced, that one time luci got captured that was quite fun to watch, the whole talking cat thing, uhh, some other stuff. seriously, you can enjoy watching it and not feel too bored, it's just the repetitive tropes that get a bit dull. i kept watching for the potential, a lot of the time. hoping for things to go farther than they did. the earlier eps are fun, the later ones i felt had odd pace and sudden character development/change and a lot of repeated content.

in the second series i want a lot more from these characters. they tried to fit in like three plot twists when most people would have preferred more character exploration, more believable development between bean, elfo and luci as friends. a lot of the episodes were bean and friends get drunk, fuck stuff up, go back to see the king. i don't want more of that in s2. i expected more depth to the plot seeing as multiple writers were involved in gravity falls, but it's ok if it's just fun too, but decide which you're going for because atm i'm not sure how seriously to take the twists or not.

i'd love to see more of hell, learn more about luci. i loved the mention of him having a 9 to 5 job in hell, there's so much that could be explored there, and robot hell was a blast in futurama. seriously, bring back dan as the dancing devil, that'd be fun. i'd have rathered luci having odd jobs from the devil than having two random people apparently controlling him but doing absolutely nothing at the same time. in s2, recycle the tired tropes into something new. throw out the 'old hooker' trope and put in more three dimensional women. get rid of the 'strong female character' idea you have in your heads and actually write a real female character. please, god, get more female writers, i can tell when a woman is written by a man and it's boring. i feel they need to let shion takeuchi have more involvement because i bet she'd do a better job with a lot of these elements but alas she's literally one of only three women on the team with any major involvement, and it shows. it's a show centred around a female character yet it's mostly all decided by men. it's 8 men to 3 women as far as i can tell. and only one person of colour, afaik. it really shows. i'm not surprised, but more people should be pissed off about this. ridiculous.

don't do anything with elfo he's fine where he is just leave him there. bring back tess the giant i want to know more about her. please let oona and odval have a friendship where they bitch about the king and have medieval scrabble nights or something. let literally any women interact with each other without hating each other or talking about men. give bean a girlfriend. don't give pendergast any more screen time people are obsessing over him for some reason and he doesn't deserve that. let the queens be friends or something. let them date. too many women hate each other in tv i'm tired. ramp up the goddamn puns i know u have more stored somewhere and the scenes of shop names etc are fun. have bean learn to drive a horse and cart or get a job she's good at or learn a new skill or make a female friend or something more than having her get drunk and fight her way out of a situation with no real consequences. ok i'm done.

[violentshine]

Do you have any warrior OCs, If so could you tell us about them? :D

I do !! i have so many & i am constantly thinking about them- i actually have been slowly working on a written up story called Melted Ice that really started as a practice so I could write better but then it developed into an entire storyline...

I have a bunch of fan clans..like around 8 ?? but to keep things short I'll talk about the ones i've been developing lately

One of my fav villain ocs, Nettlestar. She was a Vineclan leader, born and raised alongside her sister Smokeseed. I have posted their refs that r both UGLY & their stories r a bit outdated (not by a lot though only some stuff has changed)u can check them out here; Nettlestar's & Smokeseed's I really need to redo their refs

In short; Nettlestar had a short temper, killed her sister, tried to kill an apprentice, Peachwing and her supporters went to Palmclan for help, Sunnystar agreed to help but didn't carry out the full plan. He only took 3 of her remaining 7 lives and exiled her. She went to Oreclan where she told all the secrets of Vineclan to. Oreclan attacked Vineclan, winning back the land that was taken from them all those moons ago. She killed Sorrelroot, who was going to take up Vineclan's leadership (Nettlestar didn't reappoint a deputy after Sootbark died). Took a life from Oreclan's leader, Birchstar. Fought with Vineclan cats after they ambushed her, died twice. Was about to kill Peachwing after stabbing her in the eye only to be killed by Peachwing's mate Canarysong. And now she resides in the Dark Forest.

Smokeseed's story is a bit shorter since she..died but she unconditionally loved her sister, passing off her rudeness to her as stress or not feeling up to conversation. Recently I thought of an amv with her to the song Drift Away which fits SO WELL. She doesn't has as many theme songs as Nettlestar does because I don't think much about her..but she's just kinda there, trying to live her best life with her sister.

Another bunch of ocs I've been developing lately are Hillstar, Almondflight and Pearstrike/star. You can read a little about Pearstar's story here & i would love to link Hillstar's story if i could find it i know it's there tumblr show me my posts ):|

Anyway, Hillstar was a leader who took up leadership after a corrupt leader. She vowed to her clan that she was going to turn Gladeclaw around and make sure every cat was strong and healthy. She led for a longggg time, however she did lose her last life once but begged Starclan to send her back down since Gladeclan also just lost their deputy and she wasn't going to let her clan down again. And then she was killed by Almondflight rip.

Idk if this is enough to get another hooked onto their stories...but if u want to send in specific asks about any of them please do !! i love talking about them

[withnive]

210804 니브(NIve)_'bollywoodhungama' Interview

EXCLUSIVE: Korean singer-songwriter NIve on piecing together debut EP Broken Kaleidoscope, navigating through tough times and producing for biggest artists In a crowded space of Korean music, every year you come across new musicians trying to leave a mark with their artistry. This year, more artists have taken the plunge to unveil music and one of them is multi-hyphenate NIve. Known primarily for his emotional and sentimental sound in his music and vocals, the musician has challenged himself with a rougher approach to both, laying down the foundation for a new sonic identity and ensuring that he presents a record that is resonating. After releasing his debut international single ‘Getaway’ in 2018, NIve received much global attention spurring his Korean debut with ‘Like a Fool’ featuring R&B singer-songwriter Sam Kim in 2020. NIve capped off 2020 with the smooth and emotional single ‘2easy’, which featured Korean R&B star Heize and marked the beginning of NIve’s full-fledged Korean promotional activities. In addition, NIve marked his debut as a producer and songwriter after composing ‘Beautiful Goodbye’ for EXO member Chen’s solo debut. NIve also has producing and songwriting credits with some of K-Pop’s brightest stars, including NCT U, Super Junior, SF9, CRAVITY, BTS’ V, and more. After a long 7 months since his last single ‘2easy’ feat. Heize in November 2020, NIve is determined to navigate through turbulent times through his debut EP Broken Kaleidoscope and build a soundscape that presents his story. "With this album, I really want people to listen to this album. This album is for people who are feeling things, but not sure if it's only them who are feeling it or if others are feeling the same thing. This is the album that talks about 'Hey, you're not alone!' Some people are feeling similar things’," NIve tells Bollywood Hungama. Befitting of his title as a rising artist and producer, NIve plays with multiple genres in the album including UK hybrid pop-rock, pop-rock, and adds a human element to the storytelling. The raw emotions of the EP bring a sense of relatability. Post the release of the album, NIve sits down with Bollywood Hungama on a beautiful afternoon to talk about it. Dressed in casuals and zooming from his office in South Korea, a happy NIve discusses at length about his EP, what made him pour his heart into it, how he battled some of the most challenging moments in life and how writing music has been his biggest escape. Congratulations on Broken Kaleidoscope. What's the response like from the fans?  Well, thank you first. So far, I'm getting a lot of like, support, and love from all the fans, who was the video they think is very different from what I've been doing. But then they liked it, which I was kind of like scared for, like, scared and worried about if my friends were going to be able to kind of get used to my new image, and the style. But it seems like it's playing along pretty well. So I'd say things are going pretty fine. There is this presumption that you make sentimental music. This debut EP Broken Kaleidoscope is a complete genre jump in that perspective. What was the process like to curate this album?  As you mentioned, I think of my five tracks in the album. And each song except for track number one ‘Escape’, track number three, they share like all songs are different, like genre-wise and message-wise, but then they play along the top bar. But most important importantly, when I started working on this album, I didn't think about making an album so it was kind of intuitive. ‘Escape’ was the very first song that I wrote for this album, but when I was writing it, I wasn't thinking about the album. I was writing it just to express myself. So, we had no plan to work on the album. I had a lot going on in my mind and heart. I just had the feeling that I needed to express myself. I got like nine to 11 songs and then I selected a few that spoke about my heart the best. So that's how the song list for this album was selected because I was like I wanted the songs that express my heart at best.

While I was working on this album, I kind of figured out that I was always talking about the big messages like the messages that heal people. But I thought to myself except for that, I haven't really shared what's going on with me at a certain point. So this album is really about me at a certain point in my life. So it's very kind of like an intuitive album. What is the significance of this album title in your life right now?  Well, the title for this album Broken Kaleidoscope actually, the concept of the idea started back in 2020, March, end of March.  I started a series to express myself; I kind of started writing diaries. I named it to be my Broken Kaleidoscope. From day-to-day, I have tried my best to keep up with my feeling since 2020 March, and I've been writing stuff that I wanted to hear daily. I've been uploading that stuff on Instagram stories. I wasn't going to continue with the idea. But then I got lots of messages via DMs, telling me that they can relate to what I was saying. Since then I felt kind of like some more responsibility. I felt responsible for not keeping up with expressing myself. So I kept going. When I wrote those five songs, and then my team and I decided ‘Hey, we're going to put this into an album’, we had to come up with the title right. Naturally, my team suggested and I thought too that we like the concept that I've been doing since 2020 – Broken Kaleidoscope to my broken kaleidoscope. So we were like ‘Why don't we name our album Broken Kaleidoscope because these are the songs that really talked about myself.’ So that's how the title came to be. I started the concept because I felt that it described me and expressed me in the best way, in my opinion. We felt that naming the album Broken Kaleidoscope will resonate with what I've been doing so far, which is expressing me to the fullest. In the opening credits of the, ‘I'm Alive’ music video, you hold a gun to your head waiting to pull the trigger. The tagline reads “It was only after getting a taste of death that I could feel alive.” The concluding credits end with you pulling the trigger but we never see if you did that or not. Cut to the last scene, you see a cake with ‘I'm Alive’ written on it. What was the idea behind the music video concept - do you reflect on your dark past and see a light and not pull the trigger? What does the storyline signify?  Well, you pick the right point because, in the music video, I get the gun in my head, and then you guys can never tell if I pull the trigger on that, well, whether I pull the trigger or not, I wanted to give out the concept that it's the way I am trying to express liberation. What does it mean to be alive? What if, you are not able to embrace yourself, and live your daily life? I thought that, is it being alive? Is it like staying alive without embracing yourself? Can you really tell you're alive? I felt we need some kind of liberation. So the gun in the music video is just like one of the tools that indicate death. Apart from the gun, I run, I drive, I sing in the hotel, I can express a lot, right? Like my anger, or like stress, and all those gestures. The fact that there are emotions that we have to go through to carry on with our lives, and to stay, and truly be alive, I felt that we are dismissing all those negative thoughts and negative feelings on purpose because we think it's just not like good to feel in a certain way - in a negative way. While you're alive, it's inevitable for you to feel the uncertainty and chaotic feelings. I felt that you have to go through those emotions and then be able to embrace those for you to be alive and liberated. So I purposely made sure that you guys cannot tell if I pulled a trigger or not. When do you feel alive? Well, I mean, I can give you the cliche answer. I feel alive when I'm writing. And when I'm driving, recently, I got into the habit of driving. So you can tell from the music video that I did for I'm alive. Your track ‘Escape’ has a hybrid rock vibe but the music video has a lot of angst and rage. What are, were or are you escaping

from? From myself. When I was working on the song ‘Escape’, I was in a position mentally that I felt like I couldn't feel anything whether it was positive or negative. I felt I was at my limit; feeling anything was just too much for me. I felt like I need to escape from myself thinking in this way. The only way for me to be able to pull that off was to write about it. So, to simply answer your question, I'm trying to escape from myself, my feelings. Since you worked on many songs for the EP, how did you put together these five tracks that only showcase your singing skills but also shone a light on producing and writing skills as well? For this album, especially when I was selecting songs, as I mentioned before, I was really just trying to select messages more so than the song itself. I can write a song about basically anything, but then, for me to make sure the album is the album I set out to make, I had to set a good theme. I was just doing my best to select songs that fit the bigger theme that I set. So while I was trying, and doing that, I think the songs just came to be. I felt that when I selected the songs, for example, when I selected ‘Escape’, I thought it's perfect for the beginning of the album because I started the idea with the feeling of escaping – the feeling like wanting to escape from myself. The second track, ‘Maybe I Will Die’ – it’s really not about death itself. But then, felt that you really have to go through those kinds of thoughts in order for you to really learn and know about how precious it is for you to want to live. With ‘I’m Alive’; I felt this song is perfect for this album because it talks about staying alive. I think this song has the most straightforward message out of all the songs on the album. ‘Perfect Dancer’ – I think one of them is the brightest song out of the album. I also talk about how I am preparing myself to treat the world with my own attitude because even if I'm imperfect, I will carry through. That is how I felt and ‘Perfect Dancer’ is a song that talked about it the best. Lastly, ‘To My Dear Friend’, is a song that punctuates this album. It really is a song that talks about the final thoughts of my agony, magnetized thoughts, and like the journey of my emotional elevator like an emotional rollercoaster, I think it’s a song that really puts an end to all the emotions that I was feeling. The songs had stories, and I felt I can align those five songs and put them into a story, then I had confidence that people will be able to walk through my thought process with me. When did you start working on this EP? Did the pandemic change the way you shaped it? I think it was around mid-February that we decided that we were going to make this into an album. This year, mid-February, and I've been writing about those songs since I think, maybe last year, December. A lot was going on in my life. At that time, career-wise, my personal life, all my relationships, personal relationships, and everything just jumbled together and led me to kinda explode. I just felt like, I don't know if I can continue, and the only way again, for me was to write. So I guess, since then I just started writing to really literally survive spiritually, and mentally. You mentioned you weren't in a good space, mentally. So, what helped you in terms of your mental health? To write about it? I mean, what did I feel and I tried to keep up with my thoughts, and the only way for me to keep myself safe is to write about it, express it. I'm not best at cooking or dancing; so I think I'm better at music than most of the things that I can express myself. I picked music to be my tool to deliver and write about my thoughts. So that's how I kept my mind and spirit safe. Is it difficult to pen your thoughts that are, basically, your diaries in a way? Now that it is out in the open, people are listening to your diary, does it get overwhelming?  Oh, yeah! It's scary. It's a scary experience because you are emotionally getting naked and now it is out in the world. It's a diary, it is supposed to be your thoughts like written

in the book. You don't normally share your diary with anyone unless it's your lover, but even if it's your lover, it's very rare for somebody to share their diary with anyone, even with their parents. For me, I'm literally doing it with the world. So it's a very scary experience. I don't know how people are gonna react to it. In some way, it's pretty liberating. But then, that feeling didn't really last for too long for me as the album release date got closer. I felt like 'Should I do this? I don't know if I can do this.' Like, I felt very scared. While making this album, did you learn something about yourself?  Yeah, I learned about myself, way more. I learned that I'm not perfect. I learned that I'm not that strong. While I was writing songs about this album, especially because I had to reveal my weakness, I felt like 'Wow, I had this side in me, and I was vulnerable.' I'm not as strong as I know, how I thought that I'd be. It's just, it was fascinating. But now I learned that I'm not perfect. So I write this album that's what I learned. After releasing this album, I also learned that I'm not alone. So that's also what I've been learning that you're not alone in this - it's like a journey. You grew up in many places, not just in South Korea. So who were your musical influences growing up? Well, all the countries that I've been around, it's not too many. However, I've indeed been living a nomad lifestyle. I was born in Korea, went to elementary school in Korea, and then I moved to Australia, went to middle school there. I moved to New Jersey, United States, and then I went to college in New York City. All while I was doing that, I got personal musical experiences from everyone in the country, so I cannot pinpoint who influenced me or what influenced me. I think all those countries, all my life experiences, I think everything was just like mixed, together. By the time that I decided - 'Hey, maybe I should start writing a song' - all those experiences became my inspiration. Now, to that inspiration, I'm adding my heart to it. So everything is mixed. I think that's how the music that you guys are hearing from me came to be. Was 'Beautiful Goodbye' by Chen of EXO, a turning point in your career?  Well, definitely! It's the song that started my career as a producer and songwriter. It indeed helped me in the artist aspect and career as well. Thankfully, the company themselves contacted my company, but I think, really working with different artists gave me not only the recognition, but it gave the experience that not many artists can have. It's very hard. I know that people may think that artists have this, like, huge community, and then they talk to themselves, like from day to day, it really doesn't happen that way. It's just the same as our society, if we don't have a connection together, workwise or conversation-wise, the connections don't happen. But for me, it happened through my songwriting, so I had to learn and experience fairly different things from what a lot of it was like which artists may not encounter. Is it true that before you started becoming a songwriter and producer, you were about to become a clarinet player? I majored in classical clarinet in my college, I went there for a year. So yeah, it is true that I tried my career to be a scientist, or, or a professor, teacher, like to be exact. And then I went to college for a year, and I decided, maybe I want to take a year off from college. Because if I continued going to college, I felt like I would end up, I will not have my way out from clarinet. And I wouldn't be able to have more opportunities to do different things. So I felt like at least let's take a year off from college, and then do whatever I want to do, musically. And since then I'm here. Well, life happens. How long did it take for you to reach where you are today?  I think it took me 10 years to be where I am right now - a little more than 10 years to be exact, like 13 years, but then I'll exclude those three years because I was young and didn't know what I was doing. Professionally, I think

10 years for me to reach where I am right now. I cannot say that I like fully succeeded as a musician. To become where I am right now mentally and spiritually. I think it really just took me 10 years to get here. Is it difficult to produce and write for yourself compared to produce and write for other artists? It is equally hard because there are two different things. When I am writing for myself. I listen to myself, my story and that takes effort. When I'm writing for others, I'm listening to them and try to figure out their stories in the right for them. So that's like a different style of writing from the other. So those are equally hard. Those are very, not easy. Broken Kaleidoscope EP is out now. What is next for you? What kind of journey would you like to take now? Well, I take my journey to another broken kaleidoscope. Yeah, another Broken Kaleidoscope, which means I will not know, actually, to correct myself. I will keep up with my writing my heart out daily, what I feel the emotions. They're very different from not too different than they're slightly different. And so I will be writing my diaries about what I'm feeling like these days and the next album will be another broken class. Go with a different theme. So I'll be working on that. You said that it's a 10-year journey, anything looking at the day when you started writing versus now? How do you see your journey? Where do you think in the next 10 years, you would be? If I'm still alive, in 10 years, I think I'm gonna be doing the exact same thing that I'm doing right now. With all their face. Same thing, same thing, just no work on my craft to be a good producer, myself, and for the others, and just continue to express and I will never stop with the music. Maybe I tried to do different things from here to there. But then music within myself will not change. So which means that I myself won't change. So I'll be doing the same thing. Do you have any set goals for yourself? I don't think I will ever reach a point where I'm satisfied, but at the same time, which means my only dream is to continue with what I'm doing. And right now I'm doing it. So I guess I'm living my dream out.

[zenosanalytic]

Discovery: Despite Yourself

Ok, so obvsl I’ve already watched this one so it’s a second viewing, but I tried to get at my initial reactions even if, now, from a perspective of having seen up to ep 12.

Saru says “almost nothing else is where it’s supposed to be!” having the position of celestial bodies be different in the Mirrorverse is wonderful attention to detail ouo Having even their targeting computers and sensors confused is another great way to convey that the MV is different down to the atomic level.

“Quantum signature” is typical technobabble, but functional and better than the obsession with “resonance” in the more string-theory-obsessed 90s.

I’ve never noticed it before, but one of their casting directors is named Orly Sitowitz. Imagine living to see your perfectly ordinary name rendered unfortunate by Memes :|

Another clue for Lorca’s jump double-cross I missed the first time: he claims Stamets was “eager” to work with him on multiple universe tech after the war. Taking advantage of Stamets’s non-responsive state puts a time-limit on his plans which I’m not sure really fits with how nebulous they end up being, but I guess there’s little choice. Also: maybe he was hoping communication with Discovery would be difficult once he got Burnham off the ship.

The cloak algorithm! The first time I watched that I didn’t really think about it, but if Discovery ever had made it back, then Klingon cloak-tech would have been useless. So either 1)Discovery doesn’t make it back or 2)this is a way to allow the Klingons to still get their cloak tech from the Romulans as pre-Disc canon states; the Fed has a solution to their “native” cloak tech, but then they bought a different vers from the Romulans that was invulnerable to the algorithm.

Unrelated, but I just realized that the way Disc establishes Klingon cloak -as a secret specific to T’Kuvma’s house before the war- works really well with the idea of Klingon tech being based mostly on salvaging from Hur’q tech after they were driven off. If the only surviving Hur’q ship with a cloaking device able to be studied belonged to T’Kuvma’s ancestors for some reason, then it’d make sense that they’d keep its secrets to themselves in an aristocratic society like theirs. I doubt that’s what they were going for, of course.

He waves them off even LOOKING at the NavLogs: yeah that wasn’t suspicious at all X| X| I do like, however, the way the writers have him do that -defraying suspicion by blaming himself, bamboozling them with a believable but technical explanation, then using emotional appeal through hyping the danger of the situation to direct their attention elsewhere-, which is the way an actual manipulator would protect themselves in that situation. Stuff like this is the difference between writers who know what they’re talking about, and writers faking it by writing what they think a certain type of character should be like based on tropes.

Tilly is so great, and I love that they allow her to know things, and to use that knowledge creatively. Rare to see women characters written like that, and rarer still when the character is not just allowed to be emotionally competent, but the Most Emotionally Competent person on the show. Ditto with Culber on that actually: emotional competence does not preclude technical competence and I’m glad for at least one show that doesn’t argue it does.

“Paul is your superior officer; he gave you an order. You’re not responsible for this.” Can I also just say how wonderful this portrayal of a sensitive, nurturing, truth-abiding military organization which cares about the people who make it up Discovery continues to be?

Discovery’s virtual U-Is are excellent, and I like how they activate and use them through specific hand-postures. I don’t really talk about it much, but the “chunkier” sci-fi aspects of Discovery like this are very satisfying.

The intersection of brainwashing, dubcon, secret-agent, double-life, hurt-comfort, psychdrama in the Voq storyline -and particularly the Prayer scene- is just so Delicious&Ficcy owo owo owo

It is both supremely painful, and supremely sympathetic, to watch Burnham open up to someone in a way she never has before, to trust them in a fashion her Vulcan culture completely discourages, and see it used to betray her. I do wish we’d see more flashes of Vulcan in this second half of the season, though.

Tilly’s first attempt at Evil!Tilly ans Issac’s Scottish accent are Wonderful and Good u_u Also well acted.

This is kind of detail oriented but: the “comet” the Fed uses on their command insignia strikes me as almost an inversion of the sword through earth insignia the Empire uses. Don’t know if that’s intentional or just some iconoclastic observation of my own but, if it IS intentional, that’s another great little world-building detail.

That the Emperor would 1)send Burnham to deal with a rebellion personally, and 2) personally respond to Burnham’s death, when their initial intel spoke of a “faceless emperor”(suggesting a buffering bureaucracy) is a big sign they had a personal connection.

The “Destiny” exchange was weird at the time, but much creepier knowing Mirror!Lorca’s history of grooming Burnham.

Obvsl there was nothing on Defiant in the datacube. The Rebels Burnham finds know nothing of the Federation or Defiant(if such intel were on a random datacube, it’d have to be well-known), and the files accessible from Shenzhou are under heavy security(such that Burnham has to access them clandestinely), only to those captain or higher, and heavily redacted even then. And the complete, unredacted files are only available from the Palace-ship. There’s no way the rebels would have gotten access to that.

I feel like Tyler not, actually, being Tyler is going to be important to the Lorca plotline somehow. Like: Perhaps Lorca knew Mirror!Tyler, and that’s why he recruited him, and he’s relying on Tyler to act in certain vague ways like the Tyler he knew(as he is with Burnham and others), but at some significant point Tyler’s going to do something Voqish that upsets Lorca’s plans significantly.

“Well my mother would definitely approve” at her straightened, blonded hair, is such a small line, but it adds so much more nuance to Tilly’s relationship with her mom which, until now, has been portrayed as entirely positive(at least, iirc). Also a bit disappointing that negative attitudes towards curly and red hair still persist in the 23rd century |:T |:T

Burnham’s mastery of metaphor is… Masterful(X| X| X|) “Painted Rust” damn! I wonder if that’s a Vulcan thing; they do love aphorisms

I don’t like that they killed Culber. I understand the narrative inevitability of it -there has to be a payoff to Tyler being, I’m pretty sure, an engram patterned over a surgically altered Voq and Culber’s the only doctor we know on the ship- but given the persistence of “kill your gays” writing, and how good this show typically is on that and many other fronts, I’d have preferred them writing something else. Even if they find a way to “resurrect” him.

Voq knowing all the access codes on Discovery is… Ominous :| :|

The short, shifting look of pride/affection/approval/attraction on Keyla’s face when Burnham walks into the bridge over Connor’s corpse gives me Life u_u

I feel like there is A Lot of Voq in that speech Tyler gives to Burnham at the end of the ep; as if he’s speaking from Voq’s own experience hiding among enemies without realizing it.

[fheythfully]

fanfic author meme

my friend tagged me to answer all the questions in a fanfic author meme, and it is primarily for the Final Fantasy XIII fandom, so it’s located under a read more. :)

Fanfic Ask Meme

A: How did you come up with the title to [fic of your choice]?

Most of my fic names come from lyrics in songs that have to do with the story content, no matter how vague. Poetry also makes its way in there, and on the very rare occasion, something I come up with that sounds pleasantly appropriate.

A Series of Firsts was the only one in the past five or so years to get a title that accurately and simply described the story, something which I typically never do.

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

No, actually. I write primarily angst and I have a very satisfying and healthy life, so… it all just comes out from somewhere? I am not entirely sure where.

C: What character do you identify with most?

Most recently, maybe Makoto from Persona 5? Growing up I felt that I had all these expectations on me from my family and the adults in my education (which I totally dug myself into by being smart and eager to please) and I always wanted to just say “fuck it” and stop caring about pleasing others and being the perfect student. Which took me until my third year in university to actually achieve but hey, better late than never.

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with cause I’m a vampire smile (you’ll meet a sticky end)?

The title comes directly from the song ‘Vampire Smile’ by Kyla La Grange and it entirely fits so well for that fic. I definitely had it on replay the entire time I was writing.

E: If you wrote a sequel to Serendipity, what would it be about?

EDITED because I wrote for A Series of Firsts instead oops.

Serendipity would have a much shorter sequel - just lots of the gang being happy, of Fang and Vanille traipsing around the world, Yeul living in a big city and being amazed by all of it, Serah and Snow in a small French village with rose bushes and a kid or two and Light living in the same village with Hope being the Cool Aunt. Snow would have a motorcycle (and try to modify it to have a baby seat). Sazh would have a farm with chickens and livestock and live with his son and finally get the life he deserves. Maybe he runs into the reborn version of his wife and she remembers him. And live happily ever after. 

F: Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic?

I don’t have one :( I even went through my favorites on both FFnet and AO3. I just like anything that makes me cry, and I cry easily, and sad fics make me happy.

G: Care to share a favorite crack fic?

I rarely read crack but an amazing one I’ve been reading is Sincerely, Me by Ignis_Sassentia and SharkbaitHooHaHa on AO3. It is a FF15 texting fic and just phenomenal.

H: How would you describe your style?

Lots of run on sentences and disjointed narration. I prefer writing drabbles because I feel like that format lets me get away with using the style better. I like using metaphors and a good balance between simple and more flowery language.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Angst. All the angst. Also, if a fandom has some sort of divine figure in it, then you can bet it’s gonna be worked into my fics – usually as either a passive or active antagonist. This is a big reason why I still love writing for FF13 so much, because thank you, Bhunivelze. And Etro. Mwyn too. I need to write more Mwyn.

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to any Bhunivelze!Hope and Etro!Light fic.

I said to the sun, tell me about the big bang is my favourite out of the few (two?) I’ve written where both take after the divinity. Alternate ending to that one would be, their friends catch on and end them before they can succeed in destroying and recreating the world.

For just Bhuni!Hope, of which I wrote more, eve as my latest one – I considered Light actually realizing what’s happening within the fic itself and being the one to kill him. She would realize this in the midst of a relationship Bhuni!Hope has succeeded in constructing with her, and there would be lots of tears, and horror, and the symbolic knife stuck in Hope’s torso.

Gosh, I just can’t give you guys happy things, can I?

K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

The premise in A Series of Firsts, where Hope and Snow have to come to terms with failing the world, and Light dying and becoming the Goddess, and then having to witness Light and Serah as children and then take them in, and do all in their power to prevent Orphan, and having them be family and Hope has a child with Light and then… they fail. And have to start all over again.

I’ve always appreciated time loops.

L: What's the weirdest AU you've ever come up with?

I discussed an idea with RainbowSerenity about a texting crack fic in the new world about the gang placing bets on how long it will take for Light and Hope to get together, and just being little shits in general (with a very liberal use of emoticons) and then Light and Hope are just there, like… should we tell them? When do you think they’ll realize we’ve been together for months now?

Also, an appearance by Bhunivelze via repeated friend requests to Light’s Facebook through a multitude of accounts. The sentence “how the hell does he have service in the deep ass of space!?” is written down in my phone.

I have to be in a very specific mood to write something of this sort, haha.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

The AU fic above. Hope finding the temple with Light’s statue in 13-2, and ritually visiting it before it becomes inaccessible. Also, a fic I will shortly be releasing on – once again – Bhuni!Hope.

Outside of the 13 fandom, I have further ideas for my 14 OCs and how they meet, fall in love, and then go their own ways. An idea for an original fantasy story I’ve been sitting on (I have the entire plot written out, too…).

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

If someone could read my mind and finish that one FF8 fic I started in 2007 and never finished, despite rewriting like three times, it would be a miracle. The OC I created for it has grown alongside me all this time and I treasure her deeply, even though her story will never be properly finished.

O: How do you begin a story--with the plot, or the characters?

I usually start with a plot idea I want to write about and then the characters usually write themselves.

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an "architect" or a "gardener"? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

The way I write my oneshots, the most planning I ever do is I have the final sentence in mind and then I have to write to get to that point. When I write (wrote) multi-chaptered stories, I typically had the plot mapped out and sometimes things would just write themselves in the process.

Q: Do you have any discarded scenes/storylines/projects?

That FF8 fic. I don’t even want to talk about it, haha. Also a Narnia fic I was writing and had like, two sequels planned for. I am just horrible at finishing things.

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

Not really? I always write however and whatever I want. I really admire attica on FFnet, though – their writing takes me breath away.

Also Sylvia Plath and E.E Cummings make my heart skip a beat.

S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

Bhuni!Hope, and Etro!Light. As has been made obvious.

T: Any fandom tropes you can't stand?

Whenever Snow is being written as useless or dumb. That’s my biggest one.

U: A pairing you might like to write for, but haven't tried yet.

…Light and Snow, very brief in the original 13. I actually had something written down when the game first came out, but never properly wrote it.

Don’t kill me. It would be very sad where they share their angst over Serah and then realize what they’re doing and part ways.

V: A secondary (or underrated) character you want to see more of in fic?

Yeul. YEEUUULLL. I love Yeul. So much.

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

Specific ones.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

All of them. Primarily, Light, Hope, and Yeul.

Y: A character you want to protect.

All of them. From me.

Z: Major character death--do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can't tolerate?

I love reading it if it’s written well, and I’ve never written specifics just background plot. There aren’t any deaths I can’t tolerate, because if done well, it can throw things into a nice twist.

[thefieryeclipse]

Can you pls answer A, J, L, Q, T & U from the Fanfic Ask Meme, i'd love to hear more about your writing process, especially for Tongues of Fire! I love that fic, your awesome!

Fanfic Ask Meme

Hey, thanks for asking (and thanks for the compliment!) This’ll be fun, and I can’t promise it’ll be short answers, so don’t say you weren’t warned X)

A: How did you come up with the title?

For Tongues of Fire, originally it had a different title right up until an hour or so before I posted chapter 1, I think! It was originally named more for Peter and Sylar, but I changed it after writing a dream sequence Angela has near the start of the story, where she sees the world end when “the sun itself sent out tongues of fire to lick the surface of the Earth clean”. And since the plot revolves around everyone trying to prevent this future in their own ways, I decided to name the story after the event that makes the entire story happen ^.^

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

I can’t answer this for ToF I’m afraid, as I can’t spoil the ending that’s to come X) I can answer for Gabriel Gray is Dead though, which originally was going to have a much more bittersweet ending. During the planning stage and even when I started to write the story, Peter and Gabriel/Sylar weren’t going to reunite at the end. The story was going to finish with them both having learned from each other and, although heartbroken, continuing on their own paths with the love the other taught them. But very quickly I was like “nope. Can’t do it. Happy ending for all!” and I’ve never regretted it since XD

L: What's the weirdest AU you've ever come up with?

I think either Sylar Goes, where Sylar comes up against notorious villains from other stories and shows them exactly who’s boss, or Homecoming Heroes, which is a ridiculous but fun concept that could only ever work through the medium of writing and with a rather not-so-bright protagonist (sorry Peter XD). Won’t spoil the twist here, but if you check it out you’ll see what I mean. They’re both silly and were a lot of fun to write!

Q: Do you have any discarded scenes/storylines/projects?

I don’t have too many discarded scenes from Tongues of Fire, luckily I managed to work most of them into the story. The biggest one, though, that I’m really sad didn’t fit, was Peter going to find Mohinder in India for help. He was going to ask if Molly could locate Claire (as Peter needed Claire to help him reason with Noah), but Mohinder wasn’t having any of it after seeing and believing the stories of “vigilantes” on the news. Of course he’d recognise Peter on TV, and of course he’d recognise Sylar with him. And this didn’t sit too well with Mohinder after his past interactions with Sylar. Eventually he’d grudgingly agree to ask Molly, and when Peter and Mohinder left the lecture hall (where the scene would take place) then Mohinder and Sylar would have a tense but silent stare-down exchange in the corridor before Sylar gives him a slightly mocking salute XP

I debated for ages before cutting this scene, because I wanted to include Mohinder in the story, and because I thought the dynamic of a united Peter and Sylar vs Mohinder was a really interesting one. In the end, though, it was too big of a scene that wasn’t necessary and dragged down the pacing too much. I’m not sorry I cut it, but I am sorry we never got to see how Mohinder is doing post-Heroes/pre-Reborn.

T: Any fandom tropes you can't stand?

I think it’s a shame that so many fics (particularly post-series) seem to skip all the drama and tension that would naturally come from the events of the show (mainly the finale) to fast forward to when everyone is all friends and happy again. It’s nice to read some fluffy fics like this, but in the world of Heroes, and especially when Peter and Sylar are united and nobody would likely approve or understand why, and they’ve just spent years in a mental enclosure before being thrust back into the real world with no time to adjust: I’ve always wanted to read more about the potential for drama and plot stemming from this when there are already so many more domestic stories out there.

This is just a small irk though. I’m not saying I can’t stand these fics, they are still well written and beautiful. Even years in I’m still very grateful for the Heroes fandom, and that there might be small things that aren’t my cup of tea, but nothing that properly annoys me ^.^ I don’t think all fandoms can say the same, sadly.

U: A pairing you might like to write for, but haven't tried yet

Maybe Sylar/Elle would make a fun oneshot or two. Aside from them, if I was to write fics for another fandom, I think it would be cool to write Shepard/Kaidan from Mass Effect X)

Wow that was long! Thanks again for asking, I hope you liked reading my answers ^.^

[fanfictionlive]

How do you deal with suggestions? (Warning: I might rant a bit)

Okay, I have a bit of a pickle for you guy. I am currently dealing with a reader who took it upon themselves to shower me with their suggestions of what my fic should be in barely readable PM's. Don't get me wrong, I love comments and even the occasional suggestion. However, this person, by her own admission, doesn't really know where I am going with my story (which is fine it's a mystery, after all). The main request which I have tried to shut down, is that I include characters from other games in the series (Assassins's creed) that just do not fit anywhere in my narrative. This is also a person who hasn't written anything, so i'm not sure she gets how story structure works. All and all I am starting to feel like the commenter is almost trying to take over my storyline (not sure if that makes sens to you guys) and make it into something he/she's like.

submitted by /u/notxreal [link] [comments] from FanFiction: Where Magical Ponies battle Imperial Titans http://ift.tt/2nAhZhj

[dargeereads]

Handle With Care by Helena Hunting

New York Times bestselling author of SHACKING UP and I FLIPPING LOVE YOU Helena Hunting mixes humor and heart in this scandal-filled romantic comedy.

HE WANTS TO LOSE CONTROL. Between his parents’ messed up marriage and his narcissistic younger brother, Lincoln Moorehead has spent the majority of his life avoiding his family. After the death of his father, Lincoln finds himself in the middle of the drama. To top it all off, he’s been named CEO of Moorehead Media, much to his brother’s chagrin. But Lincoln’s bad attitude softens when he meets the no-nonsense, gorgeous woman who has been given the task of transforming him from the gruff, wilderness guy to a suave businessman

SHE’S TRYING TO HOLD IT TOGETHER. Wren Sterling has been working double time to keep the indiscretions at Moorehead Media at bay, so when she’s presented with a new contract, with new responsibilities and additional incentives, she agrees. Working with the reclusive oldest son of a ridiculously entitled family is worth the hassle if it means she’s that much closer to pursuing her own dreams. What Wren doesn’t expect is to find herself attracted to him, or for it to be mutual. And she certainly doesn’t expect to fall for Lincoln. But when a shocking new Moorehead scandal comes to light, she’s forced to choose between her own family and the broody, cynical CEO.

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of PUCKED, Helena Hunting lives on the outskirts of Toronto with her incredibly tolerant family and two moderately intolerant cats. She writes contemporary romance ranging from new adult angst to romantic sports comedy.

Buy-Book Link: 

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250183996

Handle With Care Q&A – Helena Hunting

Q: Can you tell us a little about your new release, Handle with Care?

A: Handle with Care follows the story of the reclusive Lincoln Moorehead, who has done everything he can to separate himself from his family and their massive media corporation. Upon the death of his father, he’s forced to come home for the funeral, and then asked to stay on to help transition the company with the assistance of Wren Sterling who has been commissioned to overhaul Lincoln’s image in the public eye.  

Q: Lincoln Morehead and Wren Sterling are the lead characters in Handle with Care. Which one of them did you find the easiest to develop? What is each characters best and worst traits?

A: I always find developing the male lead the easiest. I’m not sure why exactly that is, but Lincoln’s character was so easy to round out and develop. Lincoln’s worst trait is that he jumps to conclusions without first getting all the facts, but his best trait is his altruism. He’s very much about giving back, and despite the fact that he can be a grumpy jerk, he’s also an incredibly good human being. Wren’s worst trait is that she can be a martyr for things that are outside of her control but her best trait is her strength of character and her belief in redemption.

Q: What was your greatest challenge while Handle with Care? What was your greatest pleasure and/or reward?

A: Wren is a badass heroine, so I think finding the balance between her strength of character and those hints of vulnerability could be tricky at times. I really wanted to humanize her and make her relatable and I hope readers connect with her. I LOVED writing the banter between Linc and Wren. They are both such strong personalities, and that made putting them head to head so much fun. 

Q: Which do you find easiest to write-the humor or the heart?

A: Humor always seems to find a natural place inside the story, but for me it’s about the balance between the two. I love taking a heavy moment and inserting some kind of comic relief before I go for the feels again. 

Q: Do you work from an outline while writing your novels? How closely do the finished novels fit your original vision of the characters and storyline before you begin writing?

A: I outline extensively. Most of the time I have about ten thousand words of outline and character development before I even start writing. It’s just how I work most effectively. I need to know who my characters are going in and where I want them to be by the end of the book. I generally stick to my outlines very closely since they are so detailed.

 Q: What did you edit OUT of this book?

A: A lot of f-bombs. 

 Q: Do you listen to music while writing? Does it influence the flow of the scene you are writing?

A: I do. I create playlists for every single book I write, and I often (always) listen to the same playlist while I write the book. This means that I burn out albums and songs for my family on a very, very regular basis. My husbands list of artists he will no longer listen to grows exponentially with every release. Halsey always finds a place on my playlist and the song Joaquim by Oscar and the Wolf was a particular favorite.

 Q: When sitting down to write a new book you have a specific outline to follow or does it just flow naturally?

A: The first step in my process is always to write an outline. I need the bones of the story down, where the character arcs will fall and what the conflicts will look like before I start writing the book.

 Q: What do you like to do when you aren't writing?

A: I like hanging out with my daughter and craft. Recently we went camping, which was a fun experience, although I grew up with a family cottage so we would spend a lot of the summer there. 

Q: Name three things on your desk right now.

A: Broken Knight by LJ Shen, Fix Her Up by Tessa Bailey, Resist by K. Bromberg, Undeniable by Melanie Harlow, The Last Letter by Rebecca Yarros (still gives me the chills when I think about it), Verity by Colleen Hoover.

Q: What did you enjoy most about writing this book?

A: The banter between Wren and Linc and writing a grumpy, jerk hero who really isn’t a jerk but sure acts like one! 

Q: To get to know you a little bit better... do you have a pet or something that is special to you that you could share with us?

A: I have two cats, Digit is a 14 year old pure white polydactyl cat who sheds like nobodies business and Pumpkin (named by our daughter) is a 6 year old black cat who often thinks he’s a dog, eat edamame beans and begs for bacon at the table.  

Q: You've written many books & bestsellers, in many genres.  What has been your favorite to write thus far?

A: That’s a hard question to answer. I love them all for very different reasons, but I will say that I had a lot of fun writing Wren and Linc because of the banter and how much I love writing a strong heroine. 

Q: What was your favorite book or series in your youth?

A: I used to love reading VC Andrews books, and Clive Barker, which I realize are very, very different! 

Q: What would you like us (the readers) to take away from your story?

A: That families aren’t perfect and people can make mistakes, yet still grow from them.

Q: What is your favorite platform to connect with your reader to date?

A: I have a reader group called The Beaver Den and I love it in there. The readers are always sharing book experiences and it’s a great community! If you want to join my group you can do it here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/HelenaHuntingBeaverDen/

Q: What project(s) are you currently working on?

A: I just finished the third book in the All In Series, which the first book will be releasing this fall. Next I’m starting a standalone, but I also have a new series I’ll be starting soon, and I have a book idea or two for secondary characters in the last two books of The Shacking Up series, as well. It’s safe to say that my writing schedule is planned for the next two years!

Q: Do you believe in love at first sight?

A: I don’t know about love at first sight but when I saw my husband from across the room for the first time I thought, “man, he’s pretty” and then when we had our first conversation the connection was instant. I think people can “click” and be drawn to each other for inexplicable reasons.

CHAPTER 1

WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?

WREN

I slip onto the empty bar stool beside the lumberjack mountain man who looks like he tried to squeeze himself into a suit two sizes too small. He’s intimidatingly broad and thick, with long dark hair that’s been pulled up into a haphazard man bun thing. His beard is a hipster’s wet dream. His scowl, however, makes him about as approachable as a rabid porcupine. And yet, here I am, sidling up next to him. 

He glances at me, eyes bleary and not really tracking. He quickly focuses on his half-empty glass again. Based on the slump of his shoulders and the uncoordinated way he picks up his glass and tips it toward his mouth, I’m guessing he’s pretty hammered. I order a sparkling water with a dash of cranberry juice and a lime. 

What I could really use is a cup of lavender-mint tea and my bed, but instead, I’m sitting next to a drunk man in his thirties. My life is extra glamorous, obviously. And no, I’m not an escort, but at the moment I feel like my morals are on the same kind of slippery slope. 

“Rough day?” I ask, nodding to the bottle that’s missing more than half its contents. It was full when he sat down at the bar an hour ago. Yes, I’ve been watching him the entire time, waiting for an opportunity to make my move. While he’s been sitting here, he’s turned down two women, one in a dress that could’ve doubled as a disco ball and the other in a top so low-cut, I could almost see her navel. 

“You could say that,” he slurs. He props his cheek on his fist, eyes almost slits. I can still make out the vibrant blue hue despite them almost being closed. They move over me, assessing. I’m wearing a conservative black dress with a high neckline and a hem that falls below my knees. Definitely not nearly as provocative as Disco Ball or Navel Lady. 

“That solving your problems?” I give him a wry grin and tip my chin in the direction of his bottle of Johnnie. 

His gaze swings slowly to the bottle. It gives me a chance to really look at him. Or what I can see of his face under his beard, anyway.


“Nah, but it helps quiet down all the noise up here.” He taps his temple and blurts, “My dad died.”


I put a hand on his forearm. It feels awkward, and creepy on my part since its half-genuine, half-contrived comfort. “I’m so sorry.”


He glances at my hand, which I quickly remove, and refocuses on his drink. “I should be sorry too, but I think he was mostly an asshole, so the world might be better off without him.” He attempts to fill his glass again, but his aim is off, and he pours it on the bar instead. I rush to lift my purse and grab a handful of napkins to mop up the mess. 

“I’m drunk,” he mumbles.


“Well, I’m thinking that might’ve been the plan, considering the way you’re sucking that bottle back. I’m actually surprised you didn’t ask for a straw in the first place. Might be a good idea to throw a spacer in there if you want tomorrow morning to suck less.” I push my drink toward him, hoping he doesn’t send me packing like he did the other women who approached him earlier. 

He narrows his eyes at my glass, suspicious, maybe. “What is that?” 

“Cranberry and soda.” 


“No booze?”
 

“No booze. Go ahead. You’ll thank me in the morning.”


He picks up the glass and pauses when it’s an inch from his mouth. His eyes crinkle, telling me he’s smiling under that beard. “Does that mean Imma wake up with you beside me?” 

I cock a brow. “Are you propositioning me?” 

“Shit, sorry.” He chugs the contents of my glass. “I was joking. Besides, I’m so wasted, I can barely remember my name. Pretty sure I’d be useless in bed tonight. I should stop talkin’.” He scrubs a hand over his face and then motions to me. “I wouldn’t proposition you.” 

I’m not sure how to respond. I go with semi-affronted, since it seems like somewhat of an insult. “Good to know.” 

“Dammit. I mean, I think you might be hot. You look hot. I mean attractive. I think you’re pretty.” He tips his head to the side and blinks a few times. “You have nice eyes, all four of them are lovely.” 

This time I laugh—for real—and point to the bottle. “I think you might want to tell your date you’re done for the night.” 

He blows out a breath and nods. “You might be right.” 

He makes an attempt to stand, but as soon as his feet hit the floor, he stumbles into me and grabs my shoulders to steady himself. “Whoa. Sorry. Yup, I’m definitely drunk.” His face is inches from mine, breath smelling strongly of alcohol. Beyond that, I get a whiff of fresh soap and a hint of aftershave. He lets go of my shoulders and takes an unsteady step back. “I don’t usually do this.” He motions sloppily to the bottle. “Mostly I’m a three drink max guy.” 

“I think losing your father makes this condonable.” I slide off my stool. Despite being tall for a woman, and wearing heels, he still manages to be close to a head taller than me. 

“Yeah, maybe, but I still think I might regret it tomorrow.” He’s incredibly unsteady, swaying while standing in place. I take the opportunity for what it is and thread my arm through his, leading him away from the bar. “Come on, let’s get you to the elevator before you pass out right here.” 

He nods, then wobbles a bit, like moving his head has set him off balance. “That’s probably a good idea.” 

He leans into me as we weave through the bar and stumbles on the two stairs leading to the foyer. There’s no way I’ll be able to stop him if he goes down, but I drape one of his huge arms over my shoulder anyway, and slip my own around his waist, guiding him in a mostly straight line to the elevators. 

“Which floor are you on?” I ask. 

“Penthouse.” He drops his arm from my shoulder and flings it out, pointing to the black doors at the end of the hall. “Jesus, I feel like I’m on a boat.”

“It’s probably all the alcohol sloshing around in your brain.” I take his elbow again, helping him stagger the last twenty feet to the dedicated penthouse elevator. 

He stares at the keypad for a few seconds, brow pulling into a furrow. “I can’t remember the code. It’s thumbprint activated though too.” He stumbles forward and presses his forehead against the wall, then tries to line up his thumb with the sensor, but his aim is horrendous and he keeps missing. 

I settle a hand on his very firm forearm. This man is built like a tank. Or a superhero. For a moment, I reconsider what I’m about to do, but he seems pretty harmless and ridiculously hammered, so he shouldn’t pose a threat. I’m also trained in self-defense, which would fall under the by any means necessary umbrella. “Can I help?” 

He rolls his head, eyes slits as they bounce around my face. “Please.” 

I take his hand between mine. The first thing I notice is how clammy it is. But beyond that, his knuckles are rough, littered with tiny scars and a few scabs, and his nails are jagged. 

“Your hands are small,” he observes as I line his thumb up with the sensor pad and press down. 

“Maybe yours are abnormally big,” I reply. They are rather large. Like basketball player hands. 

“You know what they say about big hands.” 

I fight not to roll my eyes, but for a brief moment, I wonder if what’s in his pants actually matches the rest of him. And if he’s unkempt everywhere, not just on his face. I cut that visual quickly because it makes me want to gag. “And what do they say?”

His eyes crinkle again, and he slaps his own chest. “Something about big hands, big heart.” 

I bite back my own smile. “Pretty sure you’re mixing that up with cold hands, warm heart.” 

His brow furrows. “There’s a good chance.” 

The elevator doors slide open. He pushes off the wall with some effort and practically tumbles inside. He catches himself on the rail and sags against the wall as I follow him in. I honestly can’t believe I’m doing this right now. 

He doesn’t have to press a button since the elevator only goes to the penthouse floor. As soon as we start moving, he groans and his shoulders curl in. “I don’t feel so good.” 

Please don’t let him be sick in here. If there’s one thing I can’t deal with, it’s vomit. “You should sit.” 

He slides down the wall, massive shoulders rolling forward as he rests his forehead on his knees. “Tomorrow is going to suck.” 

I stay on the other side of the elevator, in case he tosses his cookies. “Probably.” 

It’s the longest elevator ride in the history of the world. Or at least it feels that way, mostly because I’m terrified he’s going to yak. Thankfully, we make it to the penthouse floor incident-free. On the down side, now that he’s in a sitting position, getting him to stand again is a challenge. I have to press the open door button three times before I can finally coax him to his feet. 

In the time between leaving the bar and making it to the penthouse floor, the effects of the alcohol seems to have compounded. He’s beyond sloppy, using the wall and me for support as we make our way to his door. There are two penthouse apartments up here. One on either side of the foyer. 

He leans against the doorjamb, once again fighting to find the coordination to get his thumb to the sensor pad. I don’t ask if he needs my assistance this time since it’s quite clear he does. Once again I take his clammy hand in mine. 

“Your hands are really soft,” he mumbles.


“Thanks.”


The pad ashes green, and I turn the handle. “Okay, here we go. Home sweet home.”


“This isn’t my home,” he slurs. “My cousin’s family owns this building. I’m crashing here until I can get the fuck out of New York.” 

I scan the penthouse. It an eclectic combination of odd art and modern furniture, like two different tastes crashed together and this is the result. Aside from that, it’s clean to the point of looking almost like a show home. 

The only sign that someone is staying here is the lone coffee cup on the table in the living room and the blanket lolling like a tongue over the edge of the couch. I’m still standing in the doorway while he sways unsteadily. 

He tries to shove his hand in his pants pocket, but all he succeeds in doing is setting himself off-balance. He nearly stumbles into the wall. 

“Thanks for your help,” he says. 

He’s back in his penthouse, which means my job is technically done. However, I’m worried he’s going to hurt himself, or worse, asphyxiate on his own vomit in the middle of the night, and I’ll be the one catching heat if that happens. I’ll also feel bad if something happens to him. I blow out a breath, annoyed that this is how my night is ending. 

I heave his arm over my shoulder and slip mine around his waist again, leading him through the living room toward what seems to be the kitchen. There’s a sheet of paper on the island, but otherwise it’s spotless. 

“What’re you doing?” he asks. 

We pause when we reach the threshold. “Which way is your bedroom?” 

He looks slowly from right to left. “Not that way.” He points to the kitchen. It’s very state of the art. 

I guide him in the opposite direction down the hall, until he stumbles through a doorway, into a large but simply furnished bedroom. Once we reach the edge of the bed, he drops his arm, spins around—it’s drunkenly graceful—and falls back on the bed, arms spread wide as if he’s planning on making snow angels. “The room is spinning.” 

“Would you like me to get you a glass of water and possibly a painkiller for the headache you’ll likely have in the morning?” I’m already heading for the bathroom. 

“Might be a good idea,” he mumbles. 

I find a glass on the edge of bathroom vanity—which is clean, apart from a brand new toothbrush and tube of toothpaste. I run the tap, wishing I had a plastic tumbler, because I’m not sure he’s in any state to deal with breakable objects. I check the medicine cabinet, find the pills I need, shake out two tablets, and return to the bedroom. 

He’s right where I left him; sprawled out faceup on a massive king-size bed, legs hanging off the end, one shoe on the floor beside him. I cross over and set the water and the pills on the nightstand. 

I make a quick trip back to the bathroom and grab the empty wastebasket from beside the toilet in case his night is a lot rougher than he expects. 

I tap his knee, crossing my fingers he’ll be easy to rouse. “Hey, I have painkillers for you.” 

He makes a noise, but doesn’t move otherwise. 

I tap his knee again. “Lincoln, you need to wake up long enough to take these.” I cringe. I called him by name, and he didn’t offer it to me while we were down at the bar. Here’s hoping he’s too drunk to notice or remember. His name is Lincoln Moorehead, heir to the Moorehead Media fortune and all the crap that comes with it. And there’s a lot of it. 

One eye becomes a slit. “Every time I open my eyes, the room starts spinning again.” 

“If you drink this and take these, it might help.” I hold up the glass of water and the pills. 

“’Kay.” It takes three tries for him to sit up. He tries to pick the pills up out of my palm, but keeps missing my hand. 

“Just open your mouth.” 

He lifts his head. “How do I know you’re not trying to roofie me?” 

I hold up the tablet in front of his face. “They don’t say roofie, so you’re safe.” 

He tries to focus on the pill and then my face. I have my doubts he’s successful at either. 

His tongue peeks out to drag across his bottom lip. “The cameras in the hall will catch you if you steal my wallet.” 

I laugh at that. “I’m not going to steal your wallet, I’m going to put you to bed.” 

“Hmm.” He nods slowly and opens his mouth. 

I drop the pills on his tongue and hand him the glass, which he drains in three long swallows. “Would you like me to refill that?” 

“That’d be nice.” He holds out the glass, but when I try to pull away, he covers my hands with his. His shockingly blue eyes meet mine, and for a moment they’re clear and compelling. Despite how out of it he is, and how much he resembles a mountain man, or maybe because of it, I have a hard time looking away. “I really wish I wasn’t this messed up. You smell nice. I bet your hair is pretty when it’s not pulled up like that.” He flops a hand toward my bun. “Not that it’s not pretty like that, but I bet if you took it down, it would be wavy and soft. The kind of hair you want to bury your face in and run your fingers through.” He exhales a long breath. “I haven’t had sex in a really long time, but I feel like I would have zero finesse if I tried right now.” 

I smile and turn away. In the time it takes for me to refill his glass, he’s managed to get one arm out of his suit jacket. He’s made it most of the way onto the bed, feet still hanging off the end, but he’s on his back, which is not ideal. 

I set the glass on his nightstand, along with a second set of painkillers, which I’m assuming he’ll need in the morning, and give him another nudge. “Hey.” 

This time I get nothing in the way of a response. I poke him twice more, but still nothing. He can’t sleep on his back with how drunk he is. He needs to be on his side or his stomach with a wastebasket close by. 

I can’t in good conscience leave him like this. My options are limited. I shake my head as I kick off my shoes and climb up onto the bed with him. This is not at all what I expected to be doing when I brought him back up here. 

I stare down at his sleeping form. His lips are parted, they’re nice lips, full and plump, even though they’re mostly obscured by his overgrown beard. His hair has started to unravel from its man bun, wisps hanging in his face. He has long lashes, really long actually, and they’re thick and dark, the kind women pay a lot of money for. His nose is straight and his cheekbones— what I can see of them—are high. With a haircut, a beard trim or complete shave, and a new suit that actually fits, I can imagine how refined he’ll look. More like a Moorehead than a mountain man lumberjack. I shake my head. “I need you to roll onto your side, please,” I say loudly. 

Nothing. Not even a grunt. 

I pull on his shoulder, but he’s dead weight. Leaning over him, I make a fist and give him a light jab approximately where his kidney is. “Lincoln, roll over.” 

And roll he does, knocking me down and turning over so he’s right on top of me. We’re face-to-face. Good God, he’s heavy. His bones must be made of lead. He shifts, one leg coming over both of mine. I push at his knee, but his arm swings out and he wraps himself around me on a low groan, pinning my arm to my side. He’s like a giant human blanket. 

“How did this become my life?” I say to the ceiling, because the man lying on top of me is apparently out cold. 

I try to wriggle free, I even yell his name a bunch of time before I give up and wait for him to roll off me. And while I wait for that to happen, I replay the conversation with his mother, Gwendolyn Moorehead, that took place forty-eight hours ago and put me in this awkward position underneath her drunk son. 

I’d been standing in Fredrick’s office, still digesting the fact that he was dead. It was shocking that a massive heart attack had taken him, since he was always so healthy and full of life. 

Gwendolyn, his wife—now a widow—stood stoic behind his desk, papers stacked neatly in the center. 

“I’m so very for your loss, Gwendolyn. If there’s anything I can do. Whatever you need.” The words poured out, typical condolences, but sincerely meant because I couldn’t imagine how my mother and I would feel if we lost my father. 

Gwendolyn’s fingers danced at her throat as she cleared it. “Thank you,” she whispered brokenly and dabbed at her eyes. “I appreciate your kindness, Wren.” 

“Let me know what you want me to handle, and I’ll take care of it.” 

She took a deep breath, composing herself before she lifted her gaze to mine. “I need your help.” 

“Of course, what can I do?” 

“My oldest son, Lincoln, will be returning to New York for the funeral, and he’ll be staying to help run the company.” 

A hot feeling crept up my spine. I’d heard very little about Lincoln. Everything from Armstrong’s mouth was scathing, Fredrick’s passing references had been with fondness, and my interactions with Gwendolyn had been minimal as it was Fredrick himself who hired me, so this was first I’ve heard of Lincoln through her. “I see. And how can I help with that?” I could only imagine how difficult Armstrong would be if he had to share the attention with someone else, particularly his brother. 

“Transitioning Lincoln.” Gwendolyn rounded her desk. “You’ve managed to turn around Armstrong’s reputation in the media during the time you’ve been here. I know it hasn’t been easy, and Armstrong can be difficult to manage.” 

Difficult to manage is the understatement of the entire century where Armstrong is concerned. He’s a cocksucker of epic proportions. He’s also a misogynistic, narcissistic bastard that I’ve had to deal with for the past eight months on a nearly daily basis—sometimes even on weekends. 

My job as his “handler” has been to reshape his horrendous reputation after his involvement in several scandalous events became very public. It wasn’t a job I necessarily wanted, and I was prepared to politely reject the offer, but my mother asked me to take the position as a favor to her since she’s a friend of Gwendolyn. 

Beyond that, my relationship with my mother has been strained for the past decade. When I was a teenager, I discovered information that changed our relationship forever. Taking the job at Moorehead was in part, my way of trying to help repair our fractured bond. The financial compensation, which was ridiculously high, also didn’t hurt. Besides, Gwendolyn is on nearly every single charitable foundation committee in the city, and since that’s where my interests lie, it seemed like a smart career move. 

“Since you’re already working with Armstrong and things seem to be settled there for the most part, I felt it would make sense to keep you on here at Moorehead to work with Lincoln. He’s been away from civilized society for several years. He’s nothing like his brother, very altruistic and focused on his job, rather than recreational pursuits, so he should be easier to manage.” 

I fought a scoff at the last bit, since “recreational pursuits” was a reference to the fact that Armstrong couldn’t seem to keep his pants zipped when it came to women.

Gwendolyn pushed a set of papers toward me. “It would only be for another six months. And of course, your salary would reflect the double work load, since you’ll still have to maintain Armstrong in some capacity while you assist Lincoln in transitioning into his role here.” 

“I’m sorry, what—” 

Gwendolyn pulled me into an awkward hug, holding onto my shoulders when she stepped back. Her eyes were glassy and red-rimmed. “You have no idea how much I appreciate your willingness to take this on. As soon as your contract is fulfilled, you have my word that I’ll give you a glowing recommendation to whichever organization you’d like. Your mother told me you’re interested in starting your own foundation. I’ll certainly help you in any way I’m able if you’ll stay on a little longer for me.” She dabbed at her corner of her eyes and sniffed, then tapped the papers on the desk. “I already have an agreement ready and an NDA, of course. Everything is tabbed for signing.” 

I’m pulled back into the present when Lincoln shifts and one of his huge hands slides up my side and lands on my breast. At the same time, he pushes his nose against my neck, beard tickling my collarbone. He mutters something unintelligible against my skin. 

I’m momentarily frozen in shock. Under any other circumstances, I would knee him in the balls. However, he’s not conscious or even semi-aware that he’s fondling me. Thankfully, now that he’s moved, I have some wiggle room. 

I elbow him in the ribs, which probably hurts me more than it does him. At least it gets him to move away enough that I can slip out from under him. I roll off the bed and pop back up, smoothing out my now-wrinkled dress. My stupid nipples are perky, thanks to the attention the right one just got. Probably because it’s the most action I’ve seen since I started working for the Mooreheads eight months ago. 

I hit the lights on the way out of the bedroom, pause in the kitchen to grab a glass of water and check out the sheet of paper on the counter. It’s a list of important details regarding the penthouse, including the entry code. I nab my purse, snap a pic, and head for the elevators. 

I have a feeling this is going to be a long six months.

From Handle With Care. Copyright © 2019 by Helena Hunting and reprinted with

permission from St. Martin’s Paperbacks.

[canaryatlaw]

alright peeps, it’s late so let’s get going here. today was pretty good! I feel like I’m still mentally adjusting to actually working five days a week lol since law school was a lot more varied as far as days went, then there was bar prep and then I did nothing for like a month, so the whole 9-5 thing is still fairly new. But I woke up to my alarm at 7 (like every other weekday), got ready and headed out. I was looking at my plan for the day and trying to figure out who I wanted to shadow, I saw I was on the dep in the afternoon for one of the lawyers that was in court this morning (I don’t think I’ve specified a nickname for her but I like her a lot, she’s only like 3 years older than me but seems to have her shit together and is a pretty competent attorney haha so she’s fun) so I texted her and asked if I could shadow her, she said yes but her first case wasn’t till 9:30, I got to the courthouse at like 8:45 (around when I get there every day) so I went to the Starbucks under the courthouse (have I explained the whole pedway thing? probably at some point) and hung out till like 9:15, at which point I went upstairs only to find a MASSIVE line for security, like it made a U around the whole lobby, way longer than it’s ever been before, apparently due to a large group of some people on some sort of field trip basically. so that was fun, but I still made it to the courtroom before the lawyer lol and was told to get a hold on the case, so I did, and then I ended up talking to OPC and he was saying totally different things and our lawyer was like well can you step up? and I was like ahhhhhhh I feel like that would not go well because he’s saying something different which will probably devolve into an argument in front of the judge and like that’s a /bad/ idea, so she called me and they spoke over the phone, and I convinced him to let us pass the case until she got there, which he was not particularly happy about but agreed to, and she got there not too long after the call started so that was good, but of course at that point it was almost time for the 10:00 am case she had in the courtroom on the floor below, so I got sent off to figure that one out, but fortunately another lawyer from our firm was free and able to step up on the case so I didn’t have to finagle some sort of peace until she could make it there. so that was a bit more exciting than expected, and then once that was over there were three more in a nearby courtroom, so I just drafted orders (they were out of carbon of course so I had to write each one out separately) until all of those were covered. the dep was at 1 and we had to prep the client beforehand so instead of going back to the office we stayed at the courthouse, initially up by the courtrooms where lawyer was working on something, then asked me to take a look and tell her what I thought. the thing ended up being a letter to some board of judicial authority recounting an incident from a trial her and the other lawyer who covered her case today were on yesterday where the judge was just a fucking nightmare and like, very clearly violated the clients due process rights like, BADLY, (basically defense can motion for a directed verdict after plaintiff gives all their evidence saying they haven’t proved it beyond the standard of proof, but this judge prompted then granted a DV in the middle of plaintiff’s evidence, which is like, absurd) and just a recounting of all of that craziness so I looked it over and added a few commas (her grammar was actually totally on point besides that, MUCH better than the majority of people I end up proofing for) (no offense to them at all most people aren’t great with grammar and that’s fine) and suggested she reorder a few things and switch to first person throughout instead of switching between first and third, so she did that and then sent it to one of the partners and a few others to see what they thought. After that we went back to the same Starbucks to grab food, I got one of their grilled cheese’s (surprise surprise) which are actually rather good, so we sat and ate before walking up the pedway then across the street to the building the dep was in. this was like, a super complicated case, way different than most of our cases where we’re just the plaintiff. basically the case involved a former employee of the firm who at the time was driving a car owned by the firm when he got into a car accident, and he was now suing the person who hit him, and that person then tried to pull the firm in as what’s called a third party defendant, basically to say we’re also liable because it was our car, but to establish that they’d have to establish he was acting in the scope of employment at the time. so this dep was for the former employee and his baby mama/ex-girlfriend who was his passenger at the time, given by the lawyer repping the guy who hit them, and also sat in by another lawyer who’s representing the firm and this guy (but not the girl) so we were more or less there in like, an advisory position, but basically acted as the deponent’s lawyer at that point. so there was a whole bunch of unimportant stuff, but when they got to the former employee they did their best to really, really grill him on the car issue (like “does the firm provide all their employees cars for their personal use???” which is of course a no), but he stuck to his guns and maintained it was for personal use at the time and he was off-duty, which should effectively get us dismissed from the case, so we were happy about that. it went super long though, and by the time we got out it was like, 4:45, so at that point our lawyer was like well I have to go back to the office to get this notarized but there’s no point in you going back to just leave ten minutes later, so we walked to the red line on the courthouse stop and like, the train was so much emptier than it is when I got on at the office stop (two stops north) at like 5:15, like I was amazed, and throughout the trip there was just so fewer people I was like shit man, I need to start ducking out early and taking this train because it’s so much better like it was ridiculous lol. so I ended up making really good time and was off the train by like 5:30. So I walked the normal route home, except I needed milk for the recipe I was going to make since the milk that was in my fridge expired 6 days ago (I went through a whole like “well it smells okay does that make it okay??” because I wouldn’t try it because I think just milk is gross, but then I was like okay 6 days is too long let’s not fuck with this) so instead of turning off main street where I usually do I kept walking to where the 7-11 was, only to find it gone and completely boarded up, which I guess I hadn’t seen because I usually don’t go this far down on this side. but no worries, it was right across the street from the Walgreens so it was easily remedied, and I just got milk from there and then headed home. I was making a cheesy mexican bowtie pasta recipe and only being slightly experimental, so of course it starts with actually cooking the pasta, so I did that, and then you combine the pasta, like two cups of “mexican blend” cheese, a can of cream of mushroom soup (random, but okay), a cup of milk, and what was supposed to be a cup of mild salsa, but I can’t really do any type of salsa (when I’m trying to demonstrate to people just what I mean when I say I can’t do *any* spice at all I’ll say like “mild salsa and up” is off limits basically) so I instead used tomato sauce and added some taco seasoning, hoping that it would turn out semi-decent. so you mix that all together and throw it in the oven, then after like 20 minutes you take it out and sprinkle french fried onions and more cheese on the top and then cook it again for another like 5 minutes. and it came out pretty good! I was pleased with it, so that was a win for me. As it was finishing Jess came over and we prepped for our shows while also serving dinner. she has to get up early tomorrow for a photo shoot with “friends” so we decided we’d just do the flash and black lightning, instead of those plus the gifted. so we watched the flash live first. pretty good episode, they’ve been solid so far this season, so that’s good to see after a not all that great season 4. Nora is great and her relationship with Barry and Iris so far has been very well-written and well-acted of course so that’s very enjoyable. They managed to humanize Cicada very well tonight in very little actual footage, which was honestly impressive. obviously the whole Cisco thing was the focus of the episode and I was confident they wouldn’t actually be killing him in an episode calling “the death of vibe” because that’s REALLY on the nose and I don’t think they were that bad, but there was a few seconds there where I started doubting it a bit, but I was happy to see he was just fine. As far as the new version of Wells and their whole jumping to conclusions about the first guy thing goes, I felt like I had to draw a comparison to how this is a perfect example of what happens when police narrow in on a suspect too early and discount evidence that doesn’t point to them because they are convinced of their guilt and will make the evidence fit the suspect, which leads to a great number of wrongful convictions in the US and is a pretty large systemic problem. but that’s my real life diatribe about this lol. Black Lightning afterwards was also strong, I still love Anissa’s storyline of stealing money from the drug dealers and such and bringing it to clinics and churches (even when I have to suspend my disbelief a bit regarding how you can actually use stolen money) so that was good. I don’t know what I think about Jennifer’s storyline right now, the whole thing with the person- I guess she’s supposed to be a shrink?- showing up out of nowhere and mentally taking her to a salon was at best rather weird, and I’m not sure why her normally sensible parents would’ve thought that was a good idea. but I mean, if she eventually starts to help her, that’ll be good at least. The storyline with Jefferson and the new (white) principal was only in a few scenes but oooooooooof did it make me mad, just a whole lot of bs going on there. As far as Tobias goes, of course that arrest they made at the end of the episode was wayyyyyyyyy too easy and it’s never going to be that simple (especially this early in the season) so I’m really just waiting for the other shoe to drop there). but yeah, overall strong episode I really enjoyed. Jess left after that so I watched the 911 episode I missed from yesterday, and holy jesus I was tearing up like crazy, that show is a tad ridiculous at times when they come up with crazy situations they have to rescue people from (but I mean, that’s any cop/firefighter/EMT show ever made), but they also do emotion extremely well, from Buck’s sister (whose name I don’t remember) dealing with PTSD and fear of a vengeful ex-husband to captain talking about his daughter and ultimately in the end being invited into the photo with his girlfriend’s family (I seriously know like two characters names and that’s like, it) was honestly such a perfectly done moment I was legit tearing up over it. So yeah, kudos to them for playing the emotions very, very well. After that I started getting ready for bed, at one point there were a series of loud bangs that sounded somewhat reminiscent of the whole “bullets vs fireworks” game but like, there was a LOT of them and they were VERY loud, so I tend to think it probably wasn’t gunfire unless someone was shooting like 40 bullets in 30 seconds for some reason in our relatively peaceful and quiet neighborhood, at 11 pm on a Tuesday night for that matter. So slightly concerning but probably nothing, at least nobody here was in danger. And yeah, finished the rest of my routine and now I’m here and oh boy did I mention I’m tired and it’s almost 1 am now?? I had a lot to say about today 🤷🏻‍♀️ lol but I’m good now, so I’m going to pass out and sleep for the next 6 hours while I can (major sigh, but can’t do anything about it now). Goodnight my loves. Hope you had a lovely Tuesday.

[unmistakably]

In 2017, Jenna Maroney Is 30 Rock's Most Relevant Character

Ali Goldstein

News that the cult favorite 30 Rock left Netflix this month sparked a series of frantic reactions on certain corners of the internet. 30 Rock Is Leaving Netflix and People Are Furious wrote the Daily Beast. The New York Times offered 5 Things to Cook While Watching 30 Rock Before It Leaves Netflix. Last week's subsequent announcement that it was moving to Hulu mitigated the loss, although the switch in streaming platform also changes how effortless it is to watch a show usually experienced on a loop. Created by Tina Fey, 30 Rock, which aired on NBC from 2006 to 2013, revolved around an SNL-like variety show. With its mile-a-minute joke delivery and irreverent takes on pop culture, it became a critical hit, rejuvenated Alec Baldwin's and Tracy Morgan's careers, and marked Fey's ascent to comedy A-lister.

Netflix does not offer viewer statistics on its shows, but between all the elegiac write-ups and the sad texts from my friends that say they will have to talk to some food about this, I gather that constantly streaming 30 Rock is a common experience. I know I'm not alone in saying that I have forged more than one friendship based on a shared language of deep cuts like the old leather pumpkin or very wool. For me, the threat of losing the constant company of 30 Rock means not getting to spend time with the character that makes me feel like it's okay to be a human woman. I'm talking about Jenna Maroney. Though ever-exasperated eyeroll master Liz Lemon (Fey) has been the source of many viewers' it me moments, the histrionic train wreck Jenna Maroney (Jane Krakowski) is the character who resonates most with me. In the hyperbolic Trump era, it is Jenna's outlandish reactions that feel appropriate. And after a decade of thinking about Liz's self-interested feminism, it is Jenna's relationship to feminist concerns like misogynistic violence and discrimination against gender nonconformity that are most salient today.

Giphy

Liz and Jenna are old friends on the show, each serving as a foil to the other's deeply ingrained hang-ups. Liz is a frowning brunette killjoy; Jenna is all blonde ambition and horse glue. The two are more negative images of each other than opposites, with Jenna's self-aware fakeness cutting through Liz's tone-deaf self-righteousness. Throughout the show's run, Liz's feminism was subject to rigorous debate. Ten years after the show's premiere, essays are still being penned about Liz's feminism and whether it sufficiently registered on the subjective barometer of what a feminist should be. Why Liz Lemon Was The Flawed Feminist We Needed 10 Years Ago & Still Need Today, claimed Bustle in an article from last year. On the Huffington Post, Zeba Blay wrote that 30 Rock, while myopic and dated in its white feminist worldview, also made apparent the need for women who aren't white, straight, and middle-class in comedy.

Watching the show in 2017 is to be frequently confronted with a liberal feminism that considers success to be personal and professional contentment - having it all to yourself. Liz Lemon is the kind of individualist feminist who likes to stick it to the man while playing it safe, who knows that being a woman is the worst because of society, but does not seem concerned with making that society better for anyone else. Liz leaned in - and was rewarded with the G.E. Followship Award. I would have been a Nazi, she muses about her willingness to collaborate with her CEO boss Jack's machinations in spite of her nominal objection to them. In critic Sady Doyle's blog post from 2010, she correctly identified this strain of Liz Lemonism as privileged semi-feminism. Emily Nussbaum, TV writer for the New Yorker, aptly characterizes Liz as a George Costanza more than a Mary Tyler Moore, pushing back against the idea that she should be considered a role model of any sort. But in this post-sheet cake moment, it is harder for me to sit with this shallow feminism.

It's clear that Liz's concerns were meant to be relatable whereas Jenna's were ridiculous. But what about those of us whose lives have taken an odder turn than Liz's has, who are not baby-crazy, who cannot afford to buy our own apartments, and who do not even have the option of settling, even if we wanted to? And those of us for whom feminism helps queer our lives, rather than serving as a belief set that reconciles us toward marriage, motherhood, and the workplace?

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Early in the series, Jenna's problems are more typical. A struggling actress upstaged on her own show, she deals with a pathological need for attention along with more universal female complaints such as weight gain and ageist beauty standards. Her issues, however, become less normative as the show continues. Instead of revolving around the tragedy of an old crone yearning for the spotlight, her storylines in later seasons consider how to pair love with kink, and the need for attention with the desire to please. Whereas Liz gets to have it all by the end of the show, giving the audience that relates to her the happy ending they ostensibly want, Jenna's life takes a turn for the weird and wonderful. Jenna is so dramatic, she is radically unrelatable; it is difficult to identify with someone who exclaims, Stop being dramatic. That's my thing. And if you steal it from me, I will kill myself, and then you. It is a given on the show that Jenna is unlikeable and not to be taken seriously. Even in Doyle's nuanced critique of Liz, Jenna is written off as a shallow, unstable narcissist. But in 2017, I find Jenna's issues more resonant, her outlandishness a better balm against the outrageous misogynist currently in power.

Jenna spends her adult life dodging death at the hands of dangerous boyfriends, most famously, Mickey Rourke. While Liz's worst (but funniest) ex, Dennis Duffy, constantly threatens into come back in her life with his promise, You'll be back, Jenna's exes are considerably darker. On 30 Rock, when trauma resurfaces, it is always treated as a moment of wild comedy. Other main characters on the show have moments of unearthing repressed trauma and are somewhat better off after talking it out. Jenna, however, never has her breakthrough on the couch, not because she is too shallow to bury anything deep, but perhaps because she does not repress that much. Her asides about her own traumas have the horrifying buoyancy of a woman who walks away with a stride of pride. You should have killed me when you had the chance, she sneers about Rourke. Violent exes are her specialty, including but not limited to O.J. Simpson, a mob boss, and a sniper who would never shoot her because he was afraid of his own mother - there is perhaps no greater kiss-off for an ex. It is fitting that the rom-com Jenna was supposed to star in, Take My Hand, gets turned into a torture-porn flick. Jenna is a final girl in her own right. And that's why it is all the more satisfying when she finds The One.

Will Forte (left) and Jane Krakowski as Paul L'astnam and Jenna Maroney

Courtesy of NBC

In the end, Jenna's secret weapon - her sexuality - allows her to become a more self-actualized person by the end of the series. When she finally finds love, it is with someone who shares her profession, the female impersonator and performer Paul L'astnam, played by Will Forte, a both decent and perverse person (#RelationshipGoals). The campiness with which Jenna always approached gender is perfectly complemented by Paul's drag performance of her.

On the surface, her relationship with Paul exists merely to make two obvious points: Jenna is a narcissist, and gender is absurd. This reminds me of a remark of Fey's during her sheet cake manifesto: You know what a drag queen still is? A 6'4 black man. Drag laughs in the face of the idea that who you really are exists under the makeup and clothes. I've struggled with whether or not Paul as a character hints at suspicion toward nonbinary identity. Am I laughing at the small-mindedness of those who would mock Paul? Or is his character a wink of acknowledgment at those who think, Oh brother, people sure do take this stuff too far? Even if I can't shake the feeling that this line was written with an eyeroll at such a nonconforming identity, it is to Forte's credit that the character is played with such earnest compassion, joyful in his expression of how he identifies as gender dysmorphic bi-genitalia pansexual (pronounced sex-u-AL). As someone who regards gender both as a category that tries to exclude me from normalcy and, paradoxically, a playground with no rules, Jenna and Paul's relationship might be the most relatable on the show.

Sexuality, let alone complicated sexuality, so seldom gets an open-hearted and curious treatment in any rom-com plotline. Together, Jenna and Paul figure out not only how to make it work, but how to make it weird and keep it that way. Though they initially struggle to define what their normal might look like, they settle on a deliciously campy parody of heterosexual couples getting surprise married and going to Bed Bath & Beyond. Eventually, she has a coming-out of sorts and stands in her own truth in front of the Wool Council to let them know that her relationship with Paul is also based on love and warmth. And chafed skin.

As the series progresses, Jenna learns not only how to feel but also how to express her emotions. For a woman who was taught to identify sadness through flash cards, she makes incredible strides by the end of the series. She accepts Paul's need to dress as another woman (Cher) and even turns down his televised marriage proposal - her dream - to compromise with his needs for intimacy. But she's still our girl. Don't interrupt, she says to Liz during a reconciliation. The pill that lets me feel emotion is gonna wear off soon. The moment is again played for laughs, but as someone who takes pills like that, I can relate.

We have a clear enough picture of what Liz Lemon feminism looks like. The Liz Lemon of today wears a Nasty Woman T-shirt; Jenna sells them on her website, Jennas-Side.com, profits going to benefit a scholarship in her name at the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks. Liz Lemon keeps her maiden name and would point out the sexism behind the term maiden. When Jenna and Paul marry, he takes her first and last name - good praxis! If there could be such a thing as Jenna Maroney feminism, it would be queer, unruly, and untraditional, and it would not define itself in relation to normative benchmarks of adult life like marriage or children. But I don't want to reclaim Jenna as a feminist antihero. She is a hero for those of us who are fatigued with the question of whether a pop culture figure is a feminist.

Whereas Liz sees the patriarchy as her personal stumbling block, Jenna, who truly suffers at the hands of men, seems blithely unaware that she exists within it. It's not so much that Jenna is a feminist figure; it's more that she becomes proudly anti-heteronormative. She is at turns both delusional and self-aware enough to know that prettiness is a facade, and that portion control and exercise won't heal a broken heart. 30 Rock excels when it treats gender as a performance of the absurd, and perhaps I watch it again and again for this absurdity. I am not a Jenna Maroney, because no one but Jenna can be a Jenna. But I do see myself in her. Not so much, however, that I would steal her thunder. You cannot steal her thunder. Her whole life is thunder.

Natalie Adler has a PhD in Comparative Literature and works in disability advocacy. She is currently writing a novel on obsessive thinking and feminist disillusionment.

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