#i try not to parasocial but like

[candyredterezii]

oh also btw i read Paris Hilton’s memoir and.

It’s really good. I haven’t been normal the last week since I read it.

[blossoms-phan]

many people are afraid to be real lovers. dan and phil are not

[linddzz]

Not to reveal myself again as someone who cares about the try guys but one upside of them suddenly everywhere is seeing everyone else also have the initial shock of seeing Eugene Lee Yang, one of the most stunningly beautiful humans out there just hanging out doing dumb shit with the most "just some guy" energy dudes

[payperviewpanicattack]

I'm so fucking glad I'm just a casual watcher fan, as with all fandoms, you people are fucking insane

[heretherebedork]

I have found the wrong side of the shorts about BL and I am growing very worried about the parasocial side of these actors fandoms. Man, fanservice is fun and all but the more people convince themselves it's real the more scared I get. These are real people. They are not queerbatiing you, they are not really dating, they are doing what they need to do for their careers and are hopefully having a good time with it. Please.

[tempestmothstorm]

actually can we talk about this what do you mean you hear the voices of your dead friends

you cant just stop it there wtf are they saying to you

[chillian-murphy]

It always kinda weirds me out when people try to "prove" Cillian and Yvonne's marriage is successful/unsuccessful, like I understand the urge to look for information on your fave's personal life but at some point you have to kind of be like "you know what? I don't know these people" and put the phone down.

[oh-wow-im-still-here]

Cursed au where before transmigration shen yuan was OBSESSED with tomodachi life and miitopia with luo binghe as the primary mii that he spoiled to death. He didn't use any QR codes, this binghe mii is crafted by his own two hands with PERFECTION. And no!!! He's not sharing his QR code on the forums!!!

[faunandfloraas]

That han fancall is truly truly truly like the most horrendously embarrassing and deeply unsettling shit ever

[lost-in-fandoms]

Hi friend, please give us more streamer Max AU! First interaction between them maybe??

part 1 here

Daniel blinks awake, groggily turning off his alarm and rubbing his eyes, blindly reaching for the water on his bedside table.

The room is still pitch dark, the night quiet outside.

2:55 am.

He grabs his phone, settling again onto the pillows and clicking through his apps until he can open the now familiar twitch app and navigate to Max's channel, just in time to see the starting soon screen appear as it goes live.

He knows this is ridiculous. He knows that he is not helping himself or his unstable sleep patterns by setting an alarm in the middle of the night to watch a guy stream from somewhere in Europe, but as long as nobody knows nobody can judge him either, so that's okay.

He yawns, scratching at his chest, watching people say hello to each other in chat as it comes alive.

He has yet to ever type something there.

In the two weeks he's been watching Max, he has managed to figure out what subscriptions and gifted subs are, Max's schedule (stream four times a week plus whenever he feels like it), and has started to recognise some usernames in chat. But there is something about actually typing that feels...revealing.

His username is generic, just Daniel_358, the number randomly chosen until twitch stopped telling him the username was taken, but that's still his name. Connected to his private email. And he knows he's not doing anything wrong, but it still feels forbidden, to wake up at night and spend about two hours just looking at Max.

The screen suddenly changes, switching to Max's camera, his pretty smiling face filling Daniel's small screen. Not for the first time, he thinks about setting up the projector, just to be able to see more.

"Hello everyone, it's Friday! And we're playing Minecraft today."

Daniel lets Max's now familiar accent wash over him, feeling himself smile back instinctively. Max looks soft today in the dim golden glow of his light, a faded sweatshirt almost covering the very short grey shorts he's wearing, and it makes Daniel wish he had Max right there, in his bed, warm and sleep rumpled in the sheets.

Yes, he is aware how weird that is too. He knows that it would maybe be less weird if he only got off watching Max's streams.

He has by now mostly figured out Max's deal. He'll play his games, talk with chat, and from time to time do something that will make Daniel's breath stutter in his chest. Touching his legs, squeezing himself through his shorts, raising his shirt to touch his stomach, trailing his fingers down towards his pants. One memorable time, he had pushed it high enough to touch his own nipple, a visible shudder traveling through him. Daniel had almost come on the spot.

The whole stream sometimes ends up feeling like a 2 hours long edging session, and he is so painfully hard by the end of it he comes as soon as he gets a hand around himself, waiting until Max has said goodbye to do so.

He doesn't always get off though. One time he had actually fallen back to sleep, Max's voice and Stardew's soft sounds lulling him straight into dreamland. But he always gets at least a little bit hard, something too sensual and alluring about Max for him to help himself.

Today though, Max seems more subdued. He still has his legs splayed open, miles of fuzzy skin on display, but he's focusing more on the game, even replying less to chat.

Daniel frowns, knowing he's not the only one who has noticed it, other worried messages popping up, mixed with a few more rude ones, telling Max to get on with it already.

"Sorry chat," Max says, finally acknowledging the messages with a small laugh. He takes a hand away from his keyboard, but instead of one of the usual teasing touches, he brings it up to his face, rubbing at his eyes and then dragging it down his cheek.

"It's been a long week," he adds with a sigh, before pushing himself to sit a bit straighter, pulling his smile back on. He's playing with the hem of his shorts now, pulling them high enough they completely disappear under the sweatshirt, but Daniel can tell it's an halfhearted attempt at best.

For the first time, he pulls up the chat, fingers itching to write something, but not knowing how to word it without being offensive. "You don't have to touch yourself if you don't want to"? Nobody ever actually acknowledges that bit out loud, he can't be that direct. "You don't have to stream if you are tired"? Would that feel like he's telling Max he doesn't care about his stream? He doesn't want that to be the first impression Max has of him.

Daniel_358: anything we can do?

He feels stupid as soon as he sends it, cringing at himself. What would he even do? He's on the other side of the world, a complete stranger.

And yet Max smiles, soft and sweet, and Daniel's stupid heart jumps in his chest.

"Hello Daniel, welcome in. You just being here is enough."

Daniel knows, he knows, that Max is just saying that, just a throwaway line to make him feel good, but at the same time he can't help but melt a little at the way Max says his name. At the thought of Max wanting him there.

He watches as a few more messages pop up, offering vague support, and sees the moment it gets too much for Max, his face closing off a little as he goes back to the game, trying to redirect chat's attention to it.

Without thinking too much about it, Daniel navigates to Max's profile down to the donate button. He's hovered over it often enough he doesn't have any trouble finding it, but it still takes him a couple tries to figure out how to properly go through with it.

A few moments later, a new alert pops up on the stream, startling Max (and Daniel, even if he knew it was coming) badly enough he accidentally falls out of a tree.

Daniel_358 has donated €358: for making it through the week and as good luck for the next

Max blinks. Pauses the game, then blinks again.

"I..uh...thank you Daniel for the donation? That's...a lot of money, mate," he stutters out, shaking his head slightly in disbelief. "Are you sure?"

Daniel_358: of course Daniel_358: you deserve it

Max's cheeks are red, his blue eyes wide, and Daniel's heart is still doing something weird in his chest.

"Thank you, then. It's...I of course appreciate it."

His voice sounds off, and for a moment Daniel is afraid he did something wrong, but then Max smiles, some tension in his shoulders disappearing.

"Well, Daniel just made the week better, so let's go back to chopping trees, yes?"

The chat explodes in a flurry of yeses and nodding emotes, and Daniel settles back on his pillows, feeling warm and satisfied.

The rest of the stream is more normal, Max going back to his usual teasing a few moments later, but for once Daniel doesn't feel like getting off, content with just watching Max's pretty smile and rosy blush. He still gets hard, he's not suddenly gone crazy (...or more crazy at least), but it doesn't feel as consuming as usual.

By the time Max says goodbye, Daniel is half asleep, curled up in his blankets, his phone laying on the pillow next to his.

When the screen goes dark he yawns, stretching slightly and dipping two fingers into his boxers, trying to decide if he feels like getting off or if he's sleepy and content enough to save it for the morning.

He's brushing a finger against the tip of his dick, still contemplating, when his phone dings, a new notification sound he's never heard before. Curious, he takes his hand out, reaching for it and unlocking it.

The twitch app is still open, now with a red number 3 next to the messages icon, and when he clicks on it he almost drops his phone again in surprise.

Player00Max: Hello Daniel Player00Max: I hope it is okay if i message you I wanted to thank you for the donation Player00Max: but it is a lot of money so I of course can reimburse you if you changed your mind

[stereokem]

one of the things i find really interesting about this Ned Fulmer/Try Guys drama is the fact that the Try Guys as a business works by creating parasocial relationships with the audience, primarily by letting the audience into various aspects of their personal lives (i.e., Eugene coming out, Ned & Ariel’s kids, Keith’s marriage, Zach’s battle with an autoimmune condition). And now, they (Ned and Ariel specifically) are asking for the impossible, which is for people to not be invested in their private issues.

just got me thinking, you can’t be a public figure and have a private life, if your identity as a public figure is publicizing your private life.

[fastidious-and-a-mess]

hey guys. btw. cause it seems like some people (especially in the game changer tag) are maybe forgetting. um. brennan isn’t actually the main character of dropout. or game changer. there are other people on the shows too, actually.

[edit: this is the least complete version of this post, please look in the notes for actual discussion lmao]

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

One day I’m going to finish that essay or whatever it was in my drafts that’s about the themes of womanhood/relationships/thirtysomething stuff and TTPD but since part of this discussion has been revived on the dash but also it’s Saturday so this won’t ruffle as many feathers, I think one thing that sometimes gets lost in the shuffle in the conversation about the muses and stories in the lyrics is just why the recurring theme of the broken dreams pops up all over the album, and why they permeate the discussion of both muses, if not *all* the muses in the album.

Not to project things on Taylor, but it feels pretty clear to me* that the dreams she’s talking about specifically are about having a family, and that is the through line in the album, and why the successive blows devastated her. (*I don’t want to presume that anyone else feels this way and this is just my interpretation etc.)

The suburban gothic allegory in Fortnight depicting a miserable, lonely marriage. The ring on the ring finger in TTPD making her explode with joy because it was a shorthand for lifelong commitment. “He saw forever so he smashed it up” in My Boy. “I’m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free” and dying on the sacrificial altar in So Long London. Marrying her wild boy in But Daddy. “Get the matches, toss the ashes off the ledge” in Fresh Out the Slammer (as in, she burned her life down). “You shit-talked me under the table talking rings and talking cradles” in loml. “The deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling” in How Did It End. “Promises ocean deep and never to keep” in Peter. The allusion in The Manuscript that the man in question made her think he was in it for the potential of a serious commitment only for her to feel used when he moved on. And there are probably more examples I’m not thinking of off the top of my head here.

But what I’m trying to get at delicately is that from what she’s put down in TTPD, as well as what she’s put down in previous albums (“give you my wild, give you my child,” Paper Rings, Lover, renegade, YLM, etc.) building a life and a family with this person (Joe) was not only something she wanted, but seemingly deliberately planning and working towards. So in the death throes of the relationship, her grief was not just about things like losing someone she once loved, the breakdown of this relationship that was once comforting to her, what she gave up to make their life work, etc. but about this important thing she had dreamed of and what she seemed to feel was on the horizon. What I think I’m trying to say is that it had likely shifted at some point (even just based on the album pipeline) from a hypothetical “one day we’ll have ten kids and teach them how to dream” thing you wonder about with a partner to something that felt a lot more… tangible. (Again trying to be sensitive in my word choice/not project or assume things etc.)

I don’t want to make any accusations or assumptions on main, but I think those kind of life plans feeling within reach not only makes it understandable as to why someone would stay in a relationship whose cracks were turning into fault lines, but on the flip side why giving up on something that felt like it was on their doorstep would be so wholly devastating.

But it’s also why what happened in the two successive relationships *was* so devastating in the songs on the album, and why the Matty thing specifically was so twisted. He’d reentered her life and he’d insinuated himself back into her circle and gained her confidence which in turn led her to confide things in him (the “hostile takeovers” of it all, the whole bridge of The Smallest Man with its honey pot spy mission imagery in which like a mark he sweet talked her into sharing her most vulnerable, compromising “secrets” only to then turn it around to use her and ghost her like a trained operative). And given the way the family thing appears in both presumed storylines, it’s again because Muse #2 used the info gleaned about the life with Muse #1 to sell her a con about an alternate path to what she was mourning so deeply. (And why it’s such an unconscionable act because it’s manipulation, at least going by her own words about her experience of it. It’s as cavalier as the organ donor line in The Manuscript, with the same effect.)

The shittalking about rings and cradles is both of them (if not all of them) because in all cases, they ended up raising her hopes only to not plan on following through. One because he maybe couldn’t commit, one because maybe he was never serious about it. (And the one who did it first who was both 🥴.)

If I had to guess (because I am not Taylor so I will obviously never know any of this for sure besides picking up context clues), the dream was like a carrot dangling in her mind, feeling like this is what the “agony” to quote another one of her songs was for — like, things may be hard, but life is hard, and at least they were building towards *something* she felt they both wanted. And as that dream slipped through her fingers, it created a cascading series of events that crippled her emotionally for a time. So when she mourns that life in her songs, it’s almost like it’s the same dream, just in shifting contexts. The conman selling her dream back to her is comforting at first, but hits doubly hard and leaves her broke when it disappears.

The story throughout the muses on the album isn’t “she jumps to the person who promises her these things,” it’s that it’s a whole life she’s built that crumbles under the weight of reality knocking at the door and a foundation that shifts until it disintegrates. And losing that foundation and the dreams built upon it leaves her searching for answers in the wreckage — and looking elsewhere for clarity for a time. And it’s why it’s so hard to remove one muse from the other (or again, all of them), because that central driving force is used by each of them in different ways to build her up and take her down. And why working through the pain of one situation bleeds into that of another.

It’s hard to delve into this more without crossing boundaries or whatever, but it’s just such a palpable open wound in the album, but also why working through the pain in different contexts on TTPD brings to light all these different kinds of hurt but also the emotions that go along with them.

Anyway. That other essay will write itself at some point idk.

[shesmore-shoebill]

fun question, fun answer, with a lot of neat points!

especially loved:

- the elaboration of its not that the personas we see are fake, or inauthentic, as much as it is that they are not an all encompassing or holistic representation of who they are as whole people

- Amanda apparently being equal parts "on" both on and off camera- cool :)

- Courtney highlighting that Arasha is really good at slipping into specific roles/personas depending on what the video needs

- Courtney + Amanda emphasizing how sweet Arasha is + how the video personas aren't fake but also don't showcase all of her as a peraon

- Explicit acknowledgement that there are definitely elements that are intentionally played into because they are on camera, especially little brain farts or dumb moments. Highlighting how those can become running jokes/a Big Thing but if it hadn't been a video it probably would have been glossed over.

- just the general discussion about how the personas/perceptions are intentional in a number of ways- they prep, drink energy drinks, choose to play into certain things for comedy. Not lies, but definitely not accidents.

- People being weird about Shayne/misconceptions due to perception of his video-persona.... :/

- Smosh Mouth helping break those perceptions/Shayne getting to be more himself on Smosh Mouth/it getting to reveal more of Shayne's depths and self. (as a smosh mouth lover i <3 this bit)

[preciousbabyrat]

right so the conspiracy segment today was nothing new which is cool because I'm still hung up on the tour bus one. it's everything. it's so emotional because they were so deep in the closet but so bad at being in the closet but it's not their fault obviously and that's a whole heartbreaking thing. its hilarious because lying online is the funniest thing ever and it only gets funnier the less reason you have to do so. they didn't have to deny so hard because heteronormativity is a hell of a drug, I myself had people think I'm straight after literally coming out to them. but also they did have to because being in the closet while being Looked At is also one hell of a drug tbh. but also regardless I'm so glad for these moments in the "we're all older and chiller and gayer now so it's ok to look back with healed fondness at the freakouts" like do you guys get meeeeee

[supercalime]

Honest question, why do yall care? I mean, if it’s real, good for them but like, this feels so gross. I’ve seen how fans treat them like characters, they deserve all the privacy they can get, relationship or not