#i wanna go back to having time and brainspace

[a-stitch-in-time-and-space]

kira's ongoing narrative in relation to cardassia and post-genocide complication of easy stories -- not, of course, that it was not genocide, but that some people she thought of as enemies were allies, and many people who were a part of the oppressing forces, were later, in turn, the victims of a mass attempted-genocide

and the idea that she, personally, cannot hate every individual cardassian, because she genuinely wants to build and heal and what that looks like, versus many (understandably) traumatised bajorans who are still and will always be at war

it's such a complicated, ongoing, twisty-turny storyline that returns again and again, with dukat, with garak, with ghemor, with damar, with ziyal, with rugal (although he and kira don't really interact, but in terms of the wider complexity of bajoran-cardassian interactions), with marritza (I've forgotten characters I know it -- there's natima as well, although I don't think she and kira interact?)

and then her ongoing narrative related to healing vs punishment vs power with -- yes li nalas and bareil, with winn and opaka (battle lines really is the first realisation I think of kira's needs and ongoing journey), with the people she was in the resistance with, some of whom are trying to create new lives some of whom cannot, ziyal again...

i also wonder about a stitch in time, and the knowledge that cardassia's rich, spiritual life was all but stamped out by a military dictatorship, and how kira would feel about this/whether she would feel a connection with the underground religious space that survived despite it

i think the reason it (mostly, let's not go into the storyline with her mother) works is that it's something her narrative returns to over and over, like a worried tooth, not necessarily in a single straight line, but via individual stories from many directions, with this understanding that she's at the centre of this massive change and she may have to take on a leadership position in order to facilitate and hold together bajoran ideals and culture and history and pain and hope through that, and bit by bit she grows into that role. and in some ways it doesn't come across as conscious, but it builds up slowly like drops accumulating, until there's a picture there

it's so so good, and imo the most complete/successful storyline given to a character in ds9 (I think nog-and-rom as a somewhat more intimate ongoing push-and-pull storyline, and also benjamin sisko on a macro spiritual level have a similar kind of thorough exploration, if different in focus, and also - to an extent - odo). my one big thing with kira's narrative is consistently how they handled ziyal, that is my personal biggest detractor. shocking because -- perhaps with benefit of hindsight, perhaps with a little less sexism idk -- there were so many ways they could have gone with ziyal, it seemed obvious while i was watching, and yet

[cosmo-clown]

how's the dusttale post going? need any help organizing?

-lili

HI LILLIIIIII!!!! I already have the things I wanna say, links to info and a rough draft its just hard to sit down and type it all up + link it back to the original blog!! School is kinda wrestling me atm 😓😓

I really don’t know the next real break i’m gonna have and I wanna be able to put time into it not stressing over my next due date and the middle of the semester is Not Going Well Honestly SO I’m probably not gonna post it until I have some breathing room in my schedule (which is like,, definitely not this week and maybe next week at best)

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN THOUGH i really wish i could sit down and finish it but sometimes i just like do not have the brainspace to type it all out hen I am free,, dusttale lore is kinda heavy

BUT I WILL GET IT DONE!! 💫✨✨

in the meantime heres a comfort doodle of flower!dust having tea

[foundfamilymafiaboss]

Final(?) Update:

Hey, Everybody. So you've probably noticed my last post was from quite some time ago, And I've been silent since. Well, There's a reason for that. And I wanna finally address this and dust off this blog.

A while ago, I promised a fanfiction that was massive, And was gonna tell the story of the Mafia Boss's revenge after getting a new body from the empress and engineer metro cats. I started writing it, and last year when I went on a vacation, I wrote while I was away. I really wanted it to work because I had the entire plot I've had for a few years about this mech revenge thing, and I was so excited to share it with everyone on this website. I had made a lot of posts about it on an art website I was on before I moved to Tumblr and with the new audience I had and the Fandom being able to see it, It made me even more excited.

But then I didn't touch it. I took what I thought was going to be a short break, but weeks turned to months, Days into nightsbrain rotation, And then an entire year, And it sat in my Google docs, collecting dust. I realized I had hit huge burnout. And then I never recovered. It was a mix of both writers burnout and Fandom burnout. (I love you all!! It's not you I just meant the fandom itself. Not anyone in it.) I still love a hat in time, Don't get me wrong, As it's still one of my main special interests, But around October, A new special interest came to me. I fell head over heels for the game "Poptropica." At first I thought it was just brainrot, But I started making ocs, Stories, And nonstop the characters and lore took up my brainspace. I even started drawing fan art, and it turns out it was a special interest. I joined the fandom shortly after, And it kinda overtook others for a bit. Basically, What I'm trying to say is.. I lost motivation. The project became overwhelming, and I wound up not wanting to work on it. And burnt myself out. It's not that I've stopped liking a hat in time (My main blog theme proves that) but Poptropica is just what's been on the brain. ..That and something else but we'll get to that. Also, I don't think I'll have a blog for it.

I think I'm stepping down from this blog. I'll return to it one day, maybe, But for now it's on permanent hiatus. I don't know when I'll come back, but maybe it'll be with a post summarizing the story I was gonna tell. I love this game but it's just not the main fandom anymore. A Main special interest? Yes! But not the main main one anymore. (Also, life stuff. That was a huge factor for this blogs inactivity.)

I'm sorry to anyone who was excited to see where it went. I'm sorry that I disappointed you and went radiosilent. I'm sorry I didn't fulfill my promise. I should've made this post way earlier, but i didn't.

One day, Who knows when, The Junior Mafia cook and Jar Man Mob Boss will make a return. Maybe not into a large fanfiction that I didn't calculate it's length for and thus led to it's early cancelation, But still a return in some way shape or form. (I also lost the file and all my progress for the cover art.. Haha..)

That being said, I still post about Piper sometimes. Or Ahit as a whole. But just.. Not as often. To those who see this: Thank you for understanding. And for sticking around as long as you did.

This isn't goodbye, This isn't the end, This isn't even the final act. It's just the intermission. It's just the pause. It's just the wait. It's just the rest.

Over time, My focus just shifted. That's all. And it sounds redundant, I know. If you want more activity, Check out my main blog @gengar-pixel-2 . It's where most of my stuff is, including fandom things.

That being said.. Here's what I've been up to:

-Gained two new special interests. It's four now instead of two. These being Poptropica and the Jumanji Franchise. (Minus the reboots.)

-I did start writing a fic.. But this time I prepared myself. It's only gonna be 13 chapters long, And isn't even Canon. It'a a crossover fic. I'm taking my time.

-Made new fandom friends.

-Reunited with old fandom friends.

-Went to Chicago for my birthday.

-Made a bunch of new ocs, Little guys.

-Birthday and Christmas happened I suppose.

-Got onto DND. (Haven't played yet though..)

-Got nominated for fan awards and won fourth place. And more..

..Anyway I'm sorry for this sad sounding ramble post. But I wanted to say...

Thank you. For the support, For sticking around, For listening to the stories I had to tell, All the asks, The fan art, The jokes, All of it. You made my day, and I'm not even joking. You all made it worthwhile. I didn't think anyone would even enjoy a story about one of the fandoms most hated characters. Thank you for showing me otherwise.

Anyway, I hope we meet again, Soon. Only time will tell. ..But for now.

"Keep it up! You are amazing and my best friend!! Remember! When you come to HQ, I'll have a sticker for you! Remember: I'm always gonna be there for you. Even if I'm not there!"

"Goodbye, For now. Come back anytime! It does tend to get boring around here. ..But you better not plant any bombs inside of my headquarters. Maybe I'll have a new body next time."

"..Farewell, I suppose. Perhaps you can stop by my metro sometime? Maybe then we can discuss some business.. There's a place in my metro where you would fit right in. ..So long as you fulfill the end of your bargain, Of course."

"I'll see ya some other time, Sugar cube! And you better be ready because I'll whip up something delicious for the next time you come to the island! Remember, I'm always in the rafters. I'll be there for ya when ya need me."

..And from me, Gengar, I'll see you on the other side. Wherever that may be. -Gengar, Signing out.

[twinclownsoflotuspiers]

Fic author interview!

Thamks @galexibrain

Anyone who wants to do this can!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

Currently 70

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

557,317

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

We Call This Fate (MDZS) [JC/WWX] - 546 kudos

2. Smile, And You're Much Cuter! (MDZS) [JC/WWX] - 445 kudos (idek why people like this so much -_- it's a fic i wrote i like the least)

3. Red (MDZS) [JC/WWX. companion work to Fate] - 389 kudos

4. and there is one price i'd cheat to win (MDZS) [JC/WWX] - 355 kudos

5. My Love Grows Gardens And Flower Crowns (MDZS) [JC/LXC] - 341 kudos (relic from my past lel)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do as much as I can! I take a while to reply though because sometimes I'm either not in the right brainspace or the comments have piled up, making me overwhelmed.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably the Jiang Cheng centric angst fic "Indecision". I rarely write unhappy endings even though I write a lot of angst. But this one's ending has absolutely no closure lol.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have a happy or hopeful ending but I guess if we go by pure fluff and everything nice with not a single shred of angst potential then Experiences [Nu: Carnival - Eiden/Edmond], aforementioned My Love Grows Gardens and Flower Crowns and finally Simple Complexities [MDZS - JC/WWX]

7. Do you write crossovers?

I wrote one series for a TGCF/MDZS crossover because I wanted Shi Qingxuan and Jiang Cheng to meet.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Outright hate, no. Weirdly worded borderline rude "constructive criticisms" and backhanded "compliments" a number of times.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write smut! As for "what kind" uhm...mostly vanilla-ish? But with some amount of dubcon though. I think my xiancheng fic "Etched" is the only one in BDSM adjacent territory and a fair amount of questionableness.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! For this fic inspired off of Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem. Pairing is JC/LXC.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Strangely enough, no.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Uhh OTP of all times is probably XianCheng by now? I always love a ship I've once loved though so all my old OTPs are honestly all-time favorites too. Some old ships in question that I still love a lot are IchiRuki (Bleach) and NezuShi (No. 6)

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Hmm.... my longest standing WIP is the BaekChen RPF "Shall We, My Dear" which I fear may not ever be updated. But I do still wanna finish it though...

15. What are your writing strengths?

ANGST, psychological whump, some more angst.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Not being able to control my wordcount and not having a consistent writing schedule lol.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'd get too insecure to do full dialogues but a few short ones here and there should be within my abilities.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

WAAAYYY back I wrote a fic on a random notepad for Nintama Rantaro when I was like 10 or something lolll. Of course I wasn't in fandoms or anything at all back then. For a "fandom" my first posted fic was a Naruto one, Gaara centric because I didn't care (mostly) for anyone else xD.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Several actually. ZhouDu from Priest's Mo Du, NezuShi (and so what if No.6 is old?), some kinda self-indulgent genshin rarepairs I wanna try very specific ideas on [few eg: KaeRosaLuc, VenLuc, EuLuc] and YuuMika from Owari no Seraph because I'd recently begun rereading the manga and Mika is once again blorbo.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written

Simple Complexities hands down. It's not my most popular but I think I hold this fic really dear because I did a great job. From my old EXO RPF fandom, the Noragami AU ChanSoo fic; even though my writing has improved loads from then, I'm still plenty proud of this one. And finally, while We Call This Fate is not my "favorite" but I worked the hardest for this so it has a lot of my love and blood, sweat and tears.

[artnerd1123]

When you write, what are your strategies? Are you chasing inspiration or have a set time to write? Do you have music you listen to? Do you follow an outline or just let the words run free? That sort of stuff.

What a lovely bundle of questions!!! Ty friend :D

Usually I’m chasing inspiration- if I can’t feel that spark or drive to write, it’s like pulling teeth trying to get words on the page. Write time is whenever the stars align HDJDJDJS

If I wanna get into the mood or brainspace to write, I tend to look for music that either matches up with the vibe of the section I’m writing, is good chill background noise, or is full of GO GO GO vibes- depends what I need most!

I tend to have a very rough outline! Or at least a general idea condensed into a few sentences, maybe a bullet list of things I want to happen or quotes I thought of. Just enough structure to keep me on track and make sure I’ve got all my pieces together!!! Then I kinda just go hogwild HFJJDKD sometimes I go off outline but I at least start with one!!! I try not to box myself in too much if I find a better idea (or end up falling back on the original)

And! If all else fails, I try to get myself to write one sentence. Or for 5 mins. Whatever feels more manageable. That way at least I got some words on the page! Nd sometimes it gets me unstuck to go insane hehe

I feel like a little gremlin crawling all over a machine holding up gears and wires and pulling it apart to stick it back together better when writing :]

[kiwibubbles5]

Painful Story Time (Unus Annus)

So. I have more strict parents, and I wasn't allowed free reign on the internet and YouTube until... Maybe around the start of high school? So like 2018-ish. I was super busy with school and depression and anxiety lol, so even once I was allowed to watch YouTube, it took me a while to get into it. My brother loved DanTDM so he was one of the main channels I watched. I found LaurenZside and Let's Game It Out, too. And... That was about all I had the brainspace for. I did not go looking for other content. I did not watch recommended videos. I didn't have time to be curious enough to check out new things.

My brother watched a very few Markiplier videos. Showed me Markiplier Makes: Pie. Showed the family a couple Heist paths. I watched them for my brother. I couldn't fathom trying to get into a new channel myself. I heard little whispers of unus annus. Saw an unusual number of black and white spiral profile pics. Heard some boys at school chanting "UNUS ANNUS UNUS ANNUS."

And, look, in truth, I know it wouldn't have really worked. With everything that happened?! The FIRST video was COOKING WITH SEX TOYS. And there was...... just... so much nudity. My parents would have freaked out. I wasn't into that kind of humor at that point.

But looking back now. Knowing. Being able to remember those little whispers. Knowing that I'd seen a couple videos. It just... it hurts to know how close I was. Close to having been there. Having been a part of this beautiful amazing thing, having this thing to share with the rest of the community. Knowing the ins and outs of what happened. Having seen all the videos. I was just... so painfully close.

And now it's too late. I subbed to Mark toward the beginning of 2022. I was a over a year too late. I see fanart, fan videos, compilations. Sometimes it just hits me. I can't say it hurts more than those of you who experienced it, but it hurts in a different, special kinda way. And I cry. I haven't watched the vids Mark and Ethan posted yesterday yet. I will. I know I'll cry. I was so close and now it's so far. So unreachable. Cuz, like, I know there's archives. I could watch them all. But I won't. I couldn't. And if I did, I'd feel awful. It'd feel wrong. I can never go back.

So... I guess for me, Unus Annus taught me to be curious. To investigate. And, to not write off things just because they're mainstream. Cuz even when I knew my brother was watching some Markiplier, and I got most of my YouTube recommendations from him lol, I also knew Mark was popular. And I didn't wanna go check something out and get into it just because it was popular. But what I sorta ended up doing was avoiding something just because it was popular. Never really checking it out for myself. Until it was too late to be a part of this exclusive thing. So, yeah. Unus Annus is affecting even people who can only see the remains, the clips, the ghost. 🥲 Memento mori.

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°

Hey also side note. Something I've been anxiously afraid of being lowkey judged for just because of the weight of ua and the fact I wasn't really there and all but I must confess. I'd seen tons of people making their own unus annus outfits and merch and such, but I am not artistically talented in those ways. So I turned to Etsy~

I wanted something to hold onto, to support and to have and just - even though I wasn't there. Even though it isn't official merch.

It makes my heart feel kinda sparkly

I wear it all the time except at work cuz my boomer manager would yell at me for wearing a hat

[septembersghost]

I feel like a bad fan if bc I wanna take a break from her music bc it remainds me of him, am I a bad fan?

i think we need to establish that nothing makes someone a "bad fan" unless they're doing something directly harmful to the artist or others (like harassment/bullying), any way you choose to engage for yourself and your own joy and well-being can't be bad. this includes stepping back and taking a break. that does her zero net harm, and it's about protecting yourself. any artist we love doesn't know us and isn't owed lockstep loyalty, and i feel like stan twitter has really warped the perception that you don't have to support someone at all times to still be a fan, nor do you have to virulently hate someone if you just don't vibe with them. it's nuanced and it's individual! so no, it doesn't make you a bad fan.

on the other hand, i do gently encourage you to not let the music be tainted by a current situation because none of it is about him. he doesn't deserve your brainspace, especially in songs that have nothing to do with him, regardless of anything she does onstage. that doesn't mean you shouldn't take a break, but a lesson we're learning very abruptly here is separation between the music and the noise of what's going on. this debate has been circling for a while, how much to tie her personal stories to her music for analysis because it's so deeply a part of her and we have public knowledge vs. what meaning and interpretation we can ascribe to it ourselves, or what unique associations we can give it, and this is a time where we need to separate that and lean more on letting the music be ours, if that makes sense. but i understand why that can be difficult or why you just need a break. there's nothing wrong with that.

spend time with other music you love instead, if you can. and speak now is coming in two months! maybe having some time and space will help and then that one can feel fresh and exciting in july. i'm here for you either way. 💙

[prismadog]

*Edit: had to come back here and redo the links due to a username change. everything should work now but if not, lemme know!

Master Post

Found Family AU character facts/background

so yup, master post is here. first time I'm making one but it only seems convenient to have one since there's so many cf/b posts [there's 7, Mykael. it's only 7, that's not that many].

I did notice, while writing the last couple of posts that there might be some...discrepancies, ya know, things that don't line up exactly, but honestly, I'm not going back through and changing them. I used a lot of energy on those and I just wanna move on to getting back to more Shrub and Xornoth content - I miss my little Shrub and her demon dad.

I also noticed that each new post kept getting longer and longer, and harder to condense down, so I'm sorry for that. I think I just got tired and stopped trying. but hey, that just means more content for you wonderful people out there!

also also, I might be writing some one-shots/short stories featuring some of the characters in their lives before our beloved Shrub shows up. idk yet but I do have a couple ideas tumbling around in my brainspace.

anyway! onto the master post! that's why you're all here, after all [I really hope it's for more than just my crappy posts, but I'll take what I get]

.

Part #1: Xornoth and Shrub

Part #2: Lady Sun and Scott

Part #3: Sausage and Joey

Part #4: Katherine and Pearl

Part #5: Gem and fWhip

Part #6: Lizzie and Jimmy

Part #7: Joel and Pixl

.

Bonus Links!

first Found Family AU post

first ask!

reblog question thingy!

second ask! [though it's more of a suggestion than a question]

first [and probably only but maybe not?] incorrect quote!

random Roseblings headcanon [this has little to do with the AU, I just wanna complete the rainbow]

a reminder to you lovely wonderful amazing people out there! [again, little to do with the AU but I love you guys and want to make sure you're all happy and healthy]

* you don't know how much it pains me not to have these in a rainbow. like, I am seriously hating this - for once, my OCD is hard to ignore. but I can't change it. I won't change it.

also, did you guys notice that [at least on desktop] that the rainbow options are out of order? they go: black red orange green blue yellow pink purple

like, seriously tumblr - and I'm saying this with love - you're downright mad if you think that's what the rainbow order is.

*sigh* I love this clown-circus garbage heap of a site.

[wafflesdenweasels]

Me: *beating myself up because I only am moderately good at most of the things I can do and have a hard time staying focused on one thing*

Literally anyone, doing the thing or not doing the thing: Oh that so cool! I’d love to try that/Wanna do the thing together sometime?/ Wanna see the thing I’m good at

Moral of the story, people don’t think about how good you are at something, they just think it’s cool that you do the thing. And if they ARE dicks about it, they aren’t worth your brainspace. I mean, I’m learning bass. O know some super talented bass players who are just thrilled that I’m even picking up the instrument on occasion. They don’t care that I’m not great and that I’m confused. They often teach me things.

When I first started writing, no matter how shitty it was, my grandpa, who is a professional writer, always told me I was doing amazing. So I kept writing. And ya I know I could have never published what I wrote before, but I got better, even though I was only writing little bits at a time.

When I started voice, only one person tried to put me down. A few years later and I had almost ruined my voice, and had totally lost the ability to properly balance it, and was getting swelling in a tendon in my neck because of the tension I was putting on myself to please this person who I was never good enough for. So I walked away and found someone who taught me the skills I needed to bring my voice back to where it should be. Turns out I’m not an alto 2. I’m a soprano 2.

I just took up roller skating. I thought it would be embarrassing learning something new now that I am legally an adult. Turns out people, skaters and non skater, just think I’m cool for even owning them.

I’m going to be starting school for sound tech this fall. I am terrified because I know nothing about it. All I have is my background in music and a few songs I wrote because I like poetry. When I was on my tour, the guy told me “ya know, I only knew a few chords on guitar when I started here” and now he teaches at the damn school.

My brain likes to tell me I’m not good enough to do something. That I need to be the best at it to even do it, so I have to constantly fight with it, and teach it to do things because I enjoy doing them, and not because I need to be good at it. Being good at things comes with time, and even when I am good at something, I don’t really see it anyway. I don’t know if anyone relates to this, but it’s been on my mind a bit and I thought someone might need to hear it too.

I can tell my brain perfection isn’t possible a million times over and never get through to it, but when I give it a thought out, logical reason why, that it can’t refute or spin into some shitstorm, I can actually do things I enjoy without worrying about judgment or harping on myself about being shit at it.

[sugawara--san]

alright i started watching naruto earlier this week and just some things i'd like to say:

90% of the time i am yelling at the screen for people to stop disrespecting my boy naruto and like, pumping my fist cheering for him???

love when they play the music™ and i know some awesome asskicking is about to take place

i also really love it when they do the hand signs can't tell ya why it just makes me happy lmao

kakashi. that's it that's the thought

okay usually when i watch a show i will have like one favorite and i'll like some of the others but here there are just SO many that i fuckin love?

naruto just might have to be my fav but after him it is VERY close between a whole bunch of them

he is BABY and deserves so much love and respect and is also such a badass. his determination and the way he inspires?? *chef's kiss*

in the beginning i thought my fav was gonna be sasuke cuz yknow we love a hothead emo

but somewhere naruto pulled ahead and then sasuke was gone for a bajillion episodes and suddenly a whole shit ton of others were occupying all of my brainspace

like shikamaru? love him. what an absolute badass genius. unmatched strategy

hinata? BABY. love her. a total baddie. cry whenever she's onscreen. admire her determination just like naruto

kiba? i know almost nothing about him but god i love him. he is so pretty and also i love the pup. would love more kiba content

rock lee? cracks me tf up. is awesome and a sweetheart. died when he took off the leg weights lmao i feel so bad for him tho :(

shino? BEST BUGGY BOY. love the mysterious vibe. is a lowkey baddie. i laughed for five minutes at that one post of him crying watching a bug's life. applauded when naruto dubbed him as one of the powerhouses.

SIDE NOTE TEAM 8 DYNAMIC IS TOP TIER WHAT I SEE IS HINATA AND HER BROTHERS FOR LIFE OKAY

okay but is it just me or would the leaf village kiddos as a whole just have like excellent style

the byakugan is cool and the fight between hinata and neji was double cool

the fight between naruto and neji had me so hyped i couldn't fall asleep omg

i am a sucker for naruhina. them during the chunin exams was super touching and adorable. but i'm worried it's gonna take naruto forever to notice and realize. i know it will djnsnwjfhjs fuck

i want more team 7 bonding

also bonding in like all the relationships between the leaf village kiddos

sasuke calling bitches he fights clowns we love to see it

there are so many characters usually one will have been introduced and i go "wow i don't think i'm gonna like them what a dick/creep/freak/bitch" LMAO and then they get an episode w them and/or their backstory in it and i'm like AW:( and have to take back what i said

like i disliked pretty much everyone in the other groups at the start of chunin exams cuz i thought they were just gonna be villains and then? no??

the fight between gaara and naruto was cool but mostly it was sad to see those two sad bois

also i have to say i haven't seen them all yet ofc but so far the first opening just goes harder than the rest

idk if this makes sense but the whole first opening is the team 7 dynamic i want :((

FUCK i wanna say plz don't touch sasuke but they're gonna fuckin do it aren't they :( noo

they fuckin did it sasuke don'T

SHIKAMARU'S ASSEMBLED TEAM >>>>>

I AM LOVIN IT SM MY BOYS

okay i felt bad for neji when they gave his backstory but i was still salty for hinata lmao and i kinda thought he was still a bitch but on this team i'm actually starting to like him?

why do naruto and sasuke fight so much ugh and yall are just gonna pretend you're not besties who care for and admire each other?? okay then

how fucking SAD and CONFUSED naruto is @ sasuke AW NO

ROCK LEE IS BACK BABYYYYY

I AM LOSING MY MIND FIRST LEE J STOPS SOMEONE ABOUT TO ATTACK HIM SAYING HE MUST TAKE HIS MEDICINE AT A SPECIFIC TIME AND THE GUY JUST LETS HIM?? AND SECOND LEE BEING SO PURE AND SUCH A LIGHTWEIGHT I'M CRYING

rock lee drunk fighting is def never something i've thought of before but now i will, regularly

the sand siblings are back in businesssss like i said i hated like all the other groups but now i'm excited cuz i feel like the gaara redemption is gonna be good and wholesome

aw gaara

sasuke what the FUCK are you DOING I AM MAD ABOUT IT WHAT THE HELL

THE WAY NARUTO STILL GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU AND IS ACTUALLY BEING A MATURE AND CARING FRIEND FOR FUCK'S SAKE SASUKE PLEASE GET A GRIP

HIS LITTLE EVIL GIGGLE IS NOT. IT.

please stop this :(

aw poor baby sasuke

"you have to kill your best friend" okay ay least sasuke is acknowledging that they're best friends jesus fuCK

catch me crying

NARUTO IS SUCH A BADASS AHHHH and they way he is kicking ass but like out of love i love to see it

i am so fuckin emotional right now their bond

sasuke put on the headband tho :(((

holy fuckin shiT

i honestly feel like i'm being attacked

shikamaru crying nooo

no one will read this but i think that concludes my week one thoughts, folks

[sydmarch]

📕

I've probably talked about it on here before but the fic I think about writing more than anything else is an antiviral fic exploring what happens in the time between syd's call with tesser and the final scene.

constantly rotating in my head what had to have happened between him and arvid because even if they didn't necessarily WORK TOGETHER on the afterlife at the very least syd would have had to contact arvid to figure out how the cell garden works. haven't written it yet because it'll require me to rewatch the movie in a certain brainspace and before I do that I'll have to figure out what kind of dynamic I wanna go with.

like do I wanna use one of the ones I feel is at least relatively canon compliant (the main ideas in this realm I have are arvid being unwilling to get involved w more of syd's crazy bs at first & has to be really talked into it, or arvid jumps on it bcus he sees it as a huge opportunity but hesitantly & they have a very tense partnership on the project at first bcus neither is sure if they can trust the other) OR do I wanna do something that's more self indulgent w less strictness to them being ic where it's like their final scene in canon is considered a breakup & this is a dramatic getting back together, or kinda like the other idea where syd has to beg arvid to get involved & he's still reluctant at first not just bcus of all the shit that happened but also bcus he's in denial of his feelings for syd & doesn't wanna acknowledge it by helping but of course they finally end up together, or even something where I use any one of these ideas but also find a way to throw in kink stuff because why the hell not.

while I'm pondering this @edwardashley as a fellow arsyd enjoyer do you have any thots on the subject?

[amaranthinedream]

do you have any other unpublished fics or wips? i'm curious as i'm also a writer but i have all these fics that i never post LOL what do you do with them when you're done!

I actually have a few WIPs! Its definitely a writer thing, I think we just can’t turn our brains off and it keeps imagining new ideas for how these two blorbos can fall in love and then you have to sit down with it and be like ‘we don’t have time for this, you’re already dedicated to [insert published wip fic here]’ and your brain just laughs and comes up with another coffee shop AU because it’s a bitch like that

That said, I’ve been meaning to make a list of my other fics I’ve been slowly working on (OEL takes up a lot of brainspace and time for me), so here’s my 3 most developed ideas (as in, I’ve actually written scenes/a good chunk of the fic)

1. [nameless fic 1]: I’m calling it the Uni AU in my docs, but it’s a modern day AU bdk friends-with-benefits break-up/make-up fic and it’s my favourite of the wips I’m working on. it’s very angsty. VERY angsty. I mean, I hoping to also make it quite lighthearted... until it isn’t.

Basically, bkdk are friends of friends. Katsuki’s a bit of a fuckboy, whereas Izuku is hung-up on someone. they have a one-off fling, which then continues into fwb, which low-key turns into dating just neither one of them want to admit it. Fed up of wondering if Katsuki is seeing other people, Izuku asks Katsuki to go steady and Katsuki says no. Heartbroken, Izuku breaks off their relationship and Katsuki spirals...

anyway, I really wanna talk about this one so have a snippet

“Deku, I don’t want to lose you.”

“You haven’t lost me. We agreed to stay friends,” Izuku reminds him. His eyes tell a different story though, sad and downcast. He doesn’t even believe his own words.

“That’s bullshit,” Katsuki says, and it’s only half on purpose. Izuku’s head snaps up to look at him and Katsuki makes the snap decision of committing to his word vomit. “That’s such bullshit. I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

“I’ve been busy.”

“Don’t give me that crap.”

“What do you want me to say? I was heartbroken!” Izuku says with such force that Katsuki feels momentarily blown away. “I-” his strength leaves him, and Izuku’s chin ducks back towards his chest. “I am heartbroken, Kacchan. Present tense. And it - it hurts to see you.”

Katsuki doesn’t know what to say.

‘How long do you think it’ll take until that’s no longer the case?‘ Is insensitive at best, downright selfish at worst. ‘Your absence is upsetting me. Stop it. Come back.’

Selfish. Always so fucking selfish. He’s never really learnt how to stop, has he?

“We will still be friends?” Katsuki asks. “After … after it stops hurting so much?” There’s something obstructing his airways, and he swallows it down. His vision wavers. “We’ll still be friends.” He says it less like a question and more like a statement, like by saying it he can make it be true.

Deku isn’t looking at him; he’s staring out the window out on the parking lot, seemingly entranced by someone doing a shit job of parallel parking. Internally, Katsuki screams at him to just look at me. He’s right here, why isn’t Izuku looking at him?

Izuku doesn’t reply.

2. Well-Intended Love AU: this is inspired by a cDrama of the same name and plot, which I would diverge from after the initial set up.

Katsuki is a ridiculously rich and powerful CEO, while Izuku is a graduating student who has just found out he has leukaemia. To survive, Izuku needs a spinal fluid transplant, and he has one match in the system; however, that person has refused to be a donor to anyone (guess who it is). Izuku sneaks a look at his donors details while the doctor isn’t looking and basically bugs Katsuki until he gives in to be his donor in exchange for Izuku marrying him for 2 years to get his mother off his back. queue classic fake-relationship turns to real relationship montage (with sugar baby vibes). only, a few months later, Izuku starts feeling the same symptoms he had when he was diagnosed. He goes to his doctor who can find no record of his surgery on file, so Izuku starts looking around the house for his medical record. Opens the safe that Katsuki has never let him near and inside finds an initial blood report from when he first got hospitalised, which basically says he just had bad anaemia. In the same file are bunches of photos of him that he knows are from before he and Katsuki met, taken from a distance. it turns out Katsuki owns the hospital he was diagnosed at, and faked Izuku’s illness (it’s semi-yandere/obsessed Katsuki yall)

And this leads into wip 3, which I’m considering combining with number 2

3. Things Better Left Unsaid: A mostly written E-rated oneshot (it’s filthy). Following sugar baby omega Izuku and CEO alpha Katsuki (I am a woman of simple tastes okay?). I ... cannot say much about this one without the hand of god (tumblr moderators) coming down on me, killing me instantly, so I’m just going to put down a snippet to set the mood

“I’m taking you to the company dinner in two weeks time. You’ll need a new dress, at least.” Katsuki finally says, impatient. “Don’t argue with me on this.”

He’s sitting like a king on the sofa in the main boudoir of the fitting rooms. All black suit and dangerous elegance. One leg up with his calf on his other knee, and arm spreading across the back of the couch, taking up space in the dominating way he likes to do.

Izuku is standing on a pedestal set before the mirrors, but he still feels very small under Katsuki’s eyes. The room matches those eyes, red red red. Warm but ample lighting makes the room feel intimate and expensive. Katsuki’s eyes make Izuku feel even more so.

Izuku nods, and he takes on the dress the attendant hands to him. The last thing he sees before the dressing room door closes is Katsuki languidly watching him from the sofa as a bowing beta offers him refreshments. The girls shirt slips down her shoulder, seemingly on accident if her eyes hadn’t been so carefully watching for Katsuki’s reaction.

It doesn’t matter though. Katsuki had never looked away from Izuku; he didn’t see her.

Smirking, Izuku closes the curtain to the dressing room, tries on the dress, and gapes.

There’s no way this is right.

This is way too revealing for such a formal event. Katsuki doesn’t normally dress him like this.

He goes out, intending to make Katsuki get him the proper dress, but is stunned into silence by the way Katsuki’s entire body language turns predatory upon seeing him.

“Perfect. On the pedestal,” he orders, eyes dark. He takes a sip out of a crystal tumbler of whiskey, never looking away, before placing the glass down.

Legs feeling like jelly, he takes careful steps up onto the platform. Katsuki clicks for a male attendant, who comes running. The previous girl is nowhere to be seen. “The shoes.”

The attendant comes back with the shoes, and kneels at Izuku’s feet to help him into them. They’re high, and Izuku wobbles on one as he slips into the second one. The beta below him looking up at him, cheeks pink, as he holds out a hand for Izuku to hold as he catches his balance.

Thankful, Izuku takes it, ignoring Katsuki's warning growl as they work together to get him secure on both feet.

Izuku can feel Katsuki’s angry eyes burning a hole right through his back. Burning hotter when the attendant doesn’t leave once the shoes on, staying to work the clasps around Izuku’s ankle. He lingers a little longer than necessary, fingers whispering around the small clasp.

Katsuki snarls, threatening, and the attendant springs away from Izuku.

"I- I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean- I'll excuse myself."

"Wait," Katsuki says before the attendant can leave, black-smoke voice smooth. Izuku suddenly feels too warm, fever hot and rubbing his thighs together, feeling so empty.

Katsuki sounds dangerous, and Izuku knows what that means.

Flushed and embarrassed, the attendant ducks his head as he turns to wait for his instructions from Katsuki.

“Go and get the diamond decagon necklace and the matching earrings from the vaults,” Katsuki orders, a growl still in his voice. “Quickly.”

The attendant all but runs from the room. Izuku doesn’t notice, too busy staring down Katsuki in the mirrors.

“Deku, come here.”

I hope that answers your ask! tbh, I have a lot of little ideas that I write down but they don’t often develop into anything structured. there’s a few docs in my folder that could potentially be published as little drabbles... but idk, I write them and then I forget about them because they don’t feel finished but I’m also not that keen on working on them more. what about you?

[ckret2]

what are ichi, ni, and san attracted to individually?

Oh man I found my draft of this buried way deep in my docs, I meant to finish answering this ask weeks ago. How long have I been not working on this? Dang.

Anyway.

I've made some posts about who each of them are individually attracted to, but I haven't done one yet on what each of them individually finds attractive, so sure! A lot of the below will also discuss the love interests each of them has expressed attraction to, to the extent that each of their individual love interests reflect their individual tastes.

This post is 2700 words, buckle up.

Let's start off with what they've got in common—because what they've got in common vastly overwhelms their differences. All of their personal tastes have been heavily shaped by the trauma they went through, so both their collective tastes and individual tastes reflect that. Most prominently: they're all attracted to skilled/strong warriors, because 1) under the Xilien military they had it beaten into their heads that the only thing of worth about them is their ability to destroy, 2) at this point nearly all their hobbies and interests besides fighting have atrophied to nothing so fighting is the only couple bonding activity left to them, and 3) they live under constant terror that if they care about something, it will be destroyed/killed, because they ARE an instrument of destruction/death and that's the framework through which they see the universe—so a partner who can defend themself against anything that might try to destroy them is very appealing.

So you get a powerful warrior, that's gonna put a check mark on all three of their "ideal partner" wish lists.

They're also going to be collectively more attracted to people with dorat-esque physical traits. Scales, coloration in the yellow range, long flexible bodies, articulated wings, a one-head-and-four-limbs symmetrical body layout, snoutlike face with one mouth and two eyes... (When you've been around enough aliens, things like "symmetrical bodies with four limbs" and "one mouth and two eyes" are no longer a given.) Not that EVERYTHING is necessary for them to be attracted, of course, but little things add up. For example, if they were forced to choose and if he wasn't their Hated Nemesis, they'd find Godzilla more attractive than Kong on the basis of the fact that he's reptilian, he's got a tail, and he's got a row of spines down his back, and therefore he's more doratlike than Kong. However, Godzilla loses out to Manda, who's snakey, has horns, and is close to a color that dorats actually come in.

This isn't a conscious thing on their part—they don't, like, mentally tally up dorat-like traits. But if you went up to them and asked "hey, what traits do you consider hot?" and for some reason they decided to answer instead of incinerate you, the list of features they'd provide would end up pretty well describing a very handsome dorat. They don't REALIZE they're looking for dorat traits, but if you pointed it out to them they'd be like "Oh, huh. Well, yeah, basically. But a good looking dorat."

Plus some variations based on their original Dorat Sexualities; like, Ichi and Ni are both more attracted to smaller wings and longer/spiny tails, while San is the opposite. (Not that this is necessary. San looked at Gigan's itty mainly-for-decoration wings and went "yeah these are fine" and Ichi looked at Rodan's little nubby tail and went "sure, still cute.")

Other traits they've got a shared interest in: positivity, optimism, upbeat attitudes, all that, because they've got none themselves; self-confidence, courage, bravery; people who understand the war machine life—they don't feel wholly relaxed around people who don't have a kill count that can be measured in planets, they feel like they've got to keep up an artificially harmless façade not to be cast out by people who Don't Get It; someone they can see more as a "beast" than as a "person" because they feel like "people" are out of their league but "beasts" are their equals (which is an artificial divide that they absorbed from Xiliens, based on arbitrary measures of personhood like "does their culture wear clothes" or "did they invent their own technology or inherit someone else's").

Okay, so, on to their individual preferences. In order!!

Starting with Ichi! A.K.A. The Only One That Actually Has A Crush On Rodan. Most of the reasons he likes Rodan are because he hits a lot of the traits that all of them find attractive: great warrior;  he's pretty upbeat; he's brave; he gives them "oh this is definitely A Fellow Animal and not a Person" vibes; they think that he's totally down with destroying the world (because they don't realize that he didn't understand that that was what they were up to); and he makes them go "oh, he's like, 60% dorat? 65%?"—because of his appearance, because he (like them) survived the oxygen destroyer unscathed, and because he could break out of their siren song mind control. So those are all reasons for Ghidorah to like Rodan.

But it doesn't explain why Ichi likes him so much more than the other two.

And deep down... deep, deep down... I think Ichi just wants to get dicked down and Rodan looks like he can do the job.

But seriously though—Ghidorah, as a whole, has been suppressing a broad swath of their emotions for an extremely long time, ESPECIALLY their capacity to form emotional connections with anyone else. Ni and San have both cracked on that front—Ni's got an ongoing crush that he deals with by burying it alive, and San's got a star-crossed love half a galaxy away that he left behind kicking and screaming—but Ichi's never cracked. He's never let himself fall for anyone. Ni and San see "keep Ghidorah isolated, independent, self-contained" as an obligation; Ichi sees it as a duty—his duty to his other two parts.

None of the three is officially the leader/in charge, but Ichi ended up the de facto leader because back when they were even worse of a psychological wreck than they are now he was the one who just barely held it together enough to corral them and keep them going. He's the team Mom Friend, assuming that the mom in question is also a hardened drill sergeant without an ounce of natural maternal instinct, and the friends the drill sergeant mom friend is mothering are two traumatized soldiers trying to escape a postapocalyptic hellscape so they can forage for food. He's done a better job of not getting attached than the other two because he's felt most strongly that that's absolutely not an option.

But then they're on Earth, one of the worlds they've struggled the hardest to try to conquer, one of the most frustrating experiences of their post-Xilien-escape life; and they've just woken up from several millennia in ice, pissed the fuck off but also disoriented as hell and keenly aware of the fact that they lost a HELL of a fight in order to have been frozen; and mentally, they're somewhat rattled apart, they're still rebooting their usual emotional shields and defenses, they're still trying to get the mental pieces put back together, and Godzilla attacks them like a minute after they wake up and their brains are definitely not put back together—

There are holes in Ichi's mental defenses that have never been there before. He's vulnerable in a way he hasn't been before. It's not that something about Rodan is more attractive to him than it is to the other two—it's that the other two keep a good solid inch of iron around their capacity for affection, but Ichi keeps a nice fat five-foot-thick steel wall around his; and right now that wall is missing. He is completely exposed to the possibility of someone swooping in and seizing his heart—and Rodan went right for his chest with talons extended. And because just that one time, that one day, he's already shaken up, he's already vulnerable, Rodan gets through when the next day he might not.

And so even though the other two can also look at Rodan and agree, yes, the things Ichi is attracted to him for are indeed attractive, Ichi falls hard and fast when the other two don't.

Or, the tl;dr version:

Ichi has been suppressing his sexuality for several times longer than the human race has existed. For a moment—just a moment—all that suppression is gone; and so he's at risk of latching on to anyone that struck him as attractive. On this day, at this moment, he wants to get dicked down, and by god, Rodan looks like he can do the job.

And with all that written... because everything we've seen that Ichi is attracted to so far fits in with what Ghidorah-as-a-whole is into, I'm not sure that I've got anything specific to list that sets his tastes apart from the collective's. I might come up with some later, but since thus far they haven't been relevant in what I've been writing, I haven't come up with any in particular. Maybe it's just the case that all the things he's attracted to also happen to be things that The Whole is attracted to. Y'all wanna suggest specifics, I'll see if I like any that I can work in?

Ni's romantic tastes are best covered here, with the explanation of why he's into San:

https://ckret2.tumblr.com/post/187039340467/anonymous-said-why-did-redacted-fall-for

And honestly... that's it. That's his taste. San is his taste. His taste is San. He had a babycrush on San since back when they were three individual dorats that barely knew each other, long before they were picked up for Highly Unethical Animal Experimentation, mutated, combined, and turned into Ghidorah; and realizing that one of the two people he was stitched together to and sharing brainspace with was the dude he had a crush on was one of the primary things that galvanized him to, like, survive. And since then having a secret limerent obsession with one of the two dudes he's fused to has determined almost everything about his romantic preferences, sexuality, and entire mental/emotional landscape.

What he liked San for originally can basically be boiled down to:

1) He was less "hivemindy" than other dorats, particularly dorats of his sex—San's sex is the one that's got less control over their empathic abilities, and so it's easy for a bunch of them to get together and catch the same emotion from each other like a fast-moving contagion. San had a tendency to go less "tunnel vision" on whatever The Group was thinking about and notice things going on outside their current activity—often with such great interest and attention that it broke The Group out of the zone as well, to their consternation—but Ni, who was uncomfortable in hiveminds, appreciated that about him.

2) Ni's of the dorat sex that's got stronger empathic abilities, but also a better ability to dim the degree to which they're active—and Ni liked to not just dim his ambient empathic field but also turn it off completely, because he didn't like others reading his feelings at all times. This is uncommon enough in dorats that it actually drove their owner to take him to the vet to make sure his head was okay. (And it was okay; he was just Extremely, Extremely Introverted by dorat standards.) Most dorats thought that this made Ni super weird/uncomfortable/off-putting. San thought it made him interesting, a unique novelty worth investigating. Ni appreciated that San didn't radiate Wild Discomfort in his presence.

3) San was, like, pretty hot. For a dorat. To other dorats. Adolescent dorats. Basically he was the cutest preteen snake in the room because he looked like a 14-year-old snake instead of a 12-year-old snake.

But that... was an extremely long time ago. And basically none of it applies anymore. What's being hivemindy or not matter when there's only three of you and you're always in and out of each other's heads? What's it matter that once upon a time long long ago San thought Ni was okay for shutting off access to his emotions when now there are only two people who CAN feel Ni's emotions/thoughts and both of them are equally chill & used to him keeping his mind closed/filtered to them? What's it matter that San was a cute baby snake when they're now three terrifyingly ancient monster snakes that were mutated to look almost identical?

So, by this point? What he's attracted to is, legitimately, "whatever San is like." His preferences shift so that they're always San-centric. San is the emotional rock Ni is clinging to.

... It's honestly kind of terribly unhealthy.

So if you asked him what he's attracted to, he'd say, like, "Oh, you know... someone who's observant, attentive... someone who's curious about his environment, likes learning... someone who appreciates the little things... uhh...... someone who's closer to the left shoulder than the right shoulder........." and then he'd peter out of traits to list because at this point Ichi, Ni, and San's identities are like 75% overlapped and there's not much room left in them for their individual differences.

But he wouldn't be interested in any of those listed traits if they were in somebody other than San.

(Ni is capable of being "interested" in other people—but it's 50% "I'm interested in you as a friend" and 50% "We, Ghidorah, currently in a mood to feel like an individual instead of like three people, are together interested in you romantically." Ghidorah slides back and forth between being "three-in-one" and being "one-from-three."

San's tastes are covered pretty thoroughly in the post about why he (and the rest of Ghidorah) is into Gigan:

https://ckret2.tumblr.com/post/186622638902/more-on-the-relationship-between-gigan-and

Beyond all the reasons San likes Gigan that Ichi & Ni share—his skill in & passion for violence, his familiarity with what it's like to be an unwilling war weapon—he also likes his sense of humor, his ability to appreciate and revel in little details the way San does... and, probably more importantly than anything else, Gigan represented a way out.

All this time, Ghidorah has kept together and remained... if not "stable" in the sense of "emotionally healthy," then "stable" in the sense of "maintaining a mental balance well enough not to fall over"—but they're stable like a tightrope walker who's gotten really good at maintaining that balance on their tightrope, not like somebody who's standing on solid ground. And they maintain that balance through isolating themselves, never letting themselves get attached to any place or any thing or any one, never letting themselves linger in one spot for long, always moving on, on, on, on, back into space. They're that meme "If I keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair."

Which is all well and good, except "avoiding connecting with anything" does not adequately keep San's mind occupied, and the only reason he hasn't fallen into a bottomless pit of despair is because he's got two other people in his head just barely tugging him back from toppling in. But he's desperate for... a sense of continuity, a sense that he can invest something in life that won't vanish in three days, a sense that anything matters. He wants desperately to connect to something else—or someone else.

Gigan offers that connection—Gigan is someone safe they can connect to, because he has the same lifestyle as them. He's someone that San can let in... without them having to change their life at all.

So, that's what he's attracted to that sets him apart from the other two: he's attracted to escape routes. He falls for someone who can anchor them so they don't keep tumbling off into space, from world to world and apocalypse to apocalypse. He wants someone who can be an excuse for them to stop and hold still. Someone who's compatible with them, someone who's just like them, someone who burns worlds the same way they do, but is capable of wrapping their arms (wings? tails? whatever) around Ghidorah and holding them in one place—whether that's "one place" physically or emotionally.

He's just tired of floating through outer space in asteroids.

[pinktatertots99]

college rutipad (good end) au

the finale nobody asked for! or well..maybe one or two people idk nobody’s asked. but anyways consider this the conclusion i’ve been wanting to write for a while but never got to till now. for anyone needing links take these 2:

first

second

and here’s links for the bad end i ended up making:

bad end first

bad end second

otherwise enjoy the fic. takes place four months after the second fic. lets begin!

_____________

“beryl i can’t concentrate with the clapping.” rutile mumbled as they stared at the red head currently clapping, whilst quietly was enough to make noise for the student. “i can’t help iiit it’s my present your opening!!!”

“i don’t wanna tear the paper.”

“why? when were you this insistant in not ripping paper?”

“since ruti cried over ripping dia’s.” padpa interjected as rutile blushed lightly, gaining giggles from the others sitting around them. “i-it was just...very pretty that’s all!!”

“not like i minded.” dia tried to comfort as ruti looked back at them. “and i wasn’t crying i had an eyelash stuck!” padpa raised a brow. “in both eyes?”

“save the snark for your funeral.” they mumbled as they slowly took the wrapping off, using their enlarged stomach as a bit of a table for the light box to sit on. using their pocket knife they opened it revealing multiple tiny outfits.

“man it’s like a pinata.” yellow joked as rutile and padpa looked em over. “like em!? i couldn’t decide on what would be good so i went with all of em!!!” red stated excitedly as the array of rainbow colored outfits were examined by the two.

“yeah their real cute.” padpa stated as ruti nodded, looking away lightly gaining the red head’s attention. “do you have an eyelash in both eyes again ruti~?”

“sh-shut!”

------------------

as the two waved their goodbye’s to the babyshower party rutile took their seat on their dorm room bed with a sigh. “exhausted parent to be?~” they glared at yellow as they started taking down the streamers. “well sitting around with the size of a watermelon inside you IS exhausting.”

“daaawww hey now be nice to my kid.” padpa retorted to the brunette as they laid their head lightly on their stomach. “you just like this because my stomach’s now become your new pillow.”

“well YEAH your thighs are outta business for now.” padpa replied, gaining a light smack of a card from the other. “don’t you have a dorm to go back to?”

“you sure?” they asked, lifting the card lightly. “mean, it’s getting close so-”

“i’m sure if anything happens you’ll be notified alright?” rutile stated giving a light pet to padpa. “heh alright alright, i guess so.” lifting their head they grabbed the spare party favor and hat from rutile’s desk giving it a blow. “godparent yellow take care of these two alright?”

“ai ai!!”

“oh god no don’t put our child in their care.”

“so meeeaaan rutiiiile!!!”

================

walking down the unfamiliar beach padpa looked to the sky. no birds, kites, no nothing. just beetles passing by. walking to the shore they looked outward. nothing but waves pushing forward and back, till they noticed something shiny a little bit ahead of them. within a dozen steps they crouched down seeing something bright and orange red nestled in the sand. petting it lightly it was some sort of...crystal? what was it? they were never good with this stuff. ruby? a beryl? the cream colored stripes looked familiar. like-

“cairnel-”

“PADPA WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!”

padpa screamed as they felt the assault of a pillow getting smacked in their face and falling over to the other side of their bed. “geez your such a deep sleeper c’mon!!” looking up they could see through the nightlight of their window a distressed yellow holding a pillow and panting.

“this is the mos-” they watched as the blonde rushed to their side and gripped their wrist to quickly walk with them out of their room. “-t weirdest way to wa-HEY HEY what’s the rush?!”

“RUTI IS THE RUSH!!!” and just at that they let go as both started sprinting. “i TRIED calling you and then ruti just threw pillows at me to go get you you sloth!!”

“well that explains the pillow but still!!!”

as both rushed through the hall of slowly waking up students coming out of their dorms. slamming the door open padpa looked to the now disheveled sitting up lightly rutile panting and curling up a bit with a nervous zircon sitting closeby with their phone in hand.

“a-ambulance says they’ll be here-” they stuttered as yellow patted em lightly. “good zirc good good ya can go back to bed now.” yellow quickly ushered the younger out, closing the door as rutile gave a gutteral growl, causing the red head to rush to their side.

“and you said it’d be fine for me to go to my dorm huh-” they started only to get interrupted with a firm squeeze of their hand giving a hiss. “shut.” rutile growled as they panted lightly.

“okay so, hot water right?” yellow asked as they rushed to the shared bathroom. “and towels right ruti???”

“that’s...the basics yes!” they exclaimed as they squeezed padpa’s hand again. “geez where did the strength come from!?” padpa asked as rutile gave a hum. “gee, probably AFTER six or so weeks!?”

“okay okay smarty pants.”

“how’re you this calm??” padpa shrugged. “honestly? i’m still half awake maybe that’s why?”

“god, i wish i was in your shoes.” rutile hissed as yellow came back with a salad sized bowl of water and towel over their shoulder. “same man.” as they replied the sound of ambulance alarms blaring caused the three to sigh in relief while the hallway was soon filled with shouts and talk and running from the noise.

___________________

opening their eyes padpa stretched and yawned as they sat up in the hospital chair. looking around they could see people coming and going the hall, yellow sleeping in their chair aswell and looking to the light of the delivery room still being on. geez how long has it been? the smell of scrambled eggs passing by on a plate signaled breakfast time they guessed.

staring at the light padpa sighed lightly as their now more concience mind ran through all that happened. waking up by a pillow, nearly having their hand broken during the ride here. these nine months flashed as fast as what happened just some hours ago.

the light went out. padpa nudged yellow till they cracked their eyes open. “think ruti’s done.” padpa told them as yellow yawned and a doctor coming out. “is the fath-”

“yeah i’m here.” padpa raised their hand passing by the doctor. “r-right-” they heard and walking into the room. already they could see the little bundled blanket in ruti’s arms, those golden orbs looking to them a bit bloodshot from crying and hair a disheveled mess with a similarly disheveled smile at them.

they felt things colliding inside of them, like a roof that just got too tired of holding up all the attic stuff as padpa fell to their knees, holding their mouth as they laid their head on the floor. their ears muffled out concerned questions and statements as they hiccuped tears to fall on the floor from the re-assuring back pets of yellow’s.

it felt like forever for their mind to get out of this clutter of brainspace. this was real, this wasn’t a dream, they really were here, the kid was theirs, ruti was theirs, their in college, their parents, their PARENTS!

slowly getting up they could hear and feel yellow holding their arm to steady them as they walked to the bed. almost as if they knew their body would give in they flopped on the bed close to ruti’s waist, arms laying on it to help steady themself.

“...p-padpa?”

“sorry. tired. processing.”

“...ah, okay.” they felt those delicate hands pet their soft hair, nuzzling to it lightly. as they heard the muffled conversation between them and yellow one thing padpa could hear clearly was the sound of small light sleeping and an occasional noise of breathing. as if it was their gasoline padpa moved to gain enough strength to lean up a bit and look to the bundle in rutile’s arms.

so small, so squishy looking. petting their cheek the little one’s eyes opened staring at padpa with an eyecolor lighter then their own. they smiled lightly. “you...got your troublemaker side from me huh?”

“i can concur.” rutile stated as padpa chuckled lightly. “speaking of though, what’s a name good for a troublemaker?” rutile asked as padpa hummed. “didn’t we have that talk?”

“yes but you knocked out halfway through it.”

“eheh, yeaaah. hmmm.” they hummed, the familiar imagery of the beach and shiny gem flashing through them. “...uhm..what’s that one gem thingy called? cairn-something?” they asked, getting confused stares.

“we’re not naming them after cairngorm.” rutile stated as yellow giggled. “eheh yeah no i mean, like, cairneel-neel uhm-”

“nelian? cairnelian?” yellow asked as padpa clicked their tongue. “that!” they replied, causing the baby to make some rather unimpressed whimpers. “s-sorry eheh but yeah. how’s that ruti?”

as rutile rocked the little one lightly they smirked and nodded. “i think, you listen better when sleeping.” padpa tilted their head as rutile giggled. “i like it yes.” the bushy red head smiled at that. “alright. welcome little cairnelian hehe.”

.........................

“hmmmm,” rutile hummed as they tapped their pencil on their notebook. the sound of light snoring coming from the red head laying on their side.

“no luck?” they looked to see yellow smiling at them. “more lack there of with sleeping beauty here.” they grumbled lightly tapping their pencil eraser onto the others head gaining a snore as yellow chuckled.

“well doesn’t help so many of the ideas are boring.” rutile huffed as yellow sat next to them. “c’mon ya gotta have something cool! like uh, maybe like a gem?”

“gem? ...yellow we’re not hippies.” rutile pouted as yellow giggled. “ey i’m just saying. something like cairnelian might work right?” rutile looked to their sleeping partner as they gave a nudge to yellow. “maybe but i wanna keep other options open.”

“kaaaay. well, if ya want any ideas i’m the best godparent at it!” they stated as they popped their earbuds into their ears. once distracted rutile sighed. “cairnelian huh?” they mumbled, looking to padpa again. their pencil quickly scratched onto the paper the name and moved to give them a pet on the head. “wonder what you’d think of the name cairnelian huh?”

[sarasa-cat]

Tagged by @fereldanwench​ and saving this until I had time with my laptop and brainspace. ;)

First ship you ever read fic for:  FFXII’s Ashe/Vossler + Vossler/Basch all in one story. Google served it up to me while I was searching for a game FAQ. Changed my mind about fanfic. Dove in. Never looked back.

First ship you ever wrote fic for: FFXII’s Basch/Penelo, writing it as a taboo fucked up mess. ;)

Ship you write the most now:  FFVII’s Vincent/Yuffie, with Vincent/Lucrecia + Lucrecia/Hojo playing the in the background.

Ship you read the most now: Hard call. I go through periods of reading everything for a ship and then I stop reading for a while unless I am specifically following a certain group of fic writers and then I’ll read most of what they write, regardless of the ship or fandom. Last night + today I read fanfic for the first time in a very long while (various Yuffentine stories). Have been feeling like reading some dragon age fanfic but not really picky about the ship...

Newest ship:  All of my ships are ooooooold ships. Idk. Maybe the upcoming Assassins Creed game: Kassandra and her female LI?

Rare ship you wanna read more of:  Dragon Age:  Isabela x Merrill.

Your taboo ship:  lolololololol. Which one? I only seem to write taboo ships. Or ships that raise controversy. Penelo and the Ronsentwins. Cullen and all those mages he keeps ending up with. Fenders. Yuffentine. Any Lucrecia ship.

They never met in canon ship: Well, Dissidia (or Record Keeper) sort of fixed that because everyone from any Final Fantasy game eventually meets up. But assuming Dissidia never happened: Gabranth x Terra. Oooh, wait, I have another one:  Solas x Merrill as a complete clusterfuck.

Your unexpected ship:  If you travelled backwards in time 20 years to tell me that I, 20 years later, would be in the middle of writing an EPIC Yuffentine novel, I would have laughed in your face for so many reasons. So. many. reasons.  (I did have a soft spot for Yuffie x Vincent but it wasn’t a ship obsession in any way, shape, or form).

The ship you always forget to give love to: Isabela x Merrill, although they occasionally show up in the background in some of my fic

Ship your OC with a canon character (if applicable): Uh... all my Wardens and Hawkes and Inquisitors? So many different ships with so many different LIs. The non-canonical ones include Inquisitor!Merrill x Solas, Cullen/Hawke, Hawke/Seneschal Bran, Cullen/Warden continuing post-prologue, Warden/Nathaniel Howe, and probably others I have forgotten... ;)

A ship you’re embarrassed to ship:  Most of them?  

Your most romantic ship:  Strangely, Yuffie x Vincent, despite the fact that neither of them are good at being romantic, between Vincent’s canonical weird poetic metaphoric way with words and Yuffie’s blundering randomness.

Your sexiest ship:  Isabela x fem!Hawke

Your most tragic ship:  DRACE x GABRANTH (!!!) which I’ve created as an affair because in my headcanon Drace x Bergan are married and its so messy and OH HOW I MISS THIS TRAINWRECK.

A ship you want more content for:  DA2′s Aveline in a variety of different ship configurations. I’d love to see more Aveline x Isabela.

---

Tagging: if you read this and want to play, please do it -- consider yourself tagged. <3

[syekick-powers]

sometimes i really don’t understand people’s urge to post certain things on the internet. like really, really don’t understand. like i tend to use my tumblr as a mini journal where i dump thoughts that don’t really pertain to anything i could bring up in conversation, or otherwise make a post because there’s something i wanna talk about and i at that moment have no one to talk to. but honestly there are some times where i see people post an opinion and just want to go “why did you feel the need to make this public. why did you think putting this in a public space was a good fucking idea. you do not need to verbalize every wretched shart of a thought that comes into your brainspace. it is not a physical imperative for you to make your thoughts known. why do you want people to associate this take with your internet name.” like really. i’ve had some nasty fucking bitter thoughts in my headspace in the past that were directed at certain people that probably would have gotten me raked over the fucking coals if i’d said them aloud. so you know what i did? instead of saying the dumb shit aloud, i went “wow that was a dumb thought. i’d better work on whatever the root cause of that shit is” and then i didn’t fucking post it. im not gonna play thought police and tell you you’re a bad person for having those thoughts or whatever, but it’s not like someone is holding a gun to your head and demanding that you publicly post all of your shitty thoughts or else you fucking die. sometimes you just gotta step back from the post editor, wonder if this is something you really need to share with the world, and then fucking close the editor.