#i want to be clear that like - them reconciling is not quick lmao

[birlwrites]

that previous ask didn’t come from me, but that one line is doing things to me, so here i am!

they started missing each other long before sirius left.

see, this, right here, is one of their core issues: there was little to no communication between them, even before sirius severed the last ties of their relationship when he ran away. they constantly missed each other in every sense of the word: in the way they longed for the relationship they used to have, but also they just. were never on the same track at the same time, if that makes sense?

i’m so curious to see how sirius feels about regulus in ttdl, because in tyrant, he outright states that he would always be his brother, but he just chose not to reach out mainly because he doesn’t know how walburga and orion would react to that if they were to hear of it. but, and correct me if i’m wrong, i’m pretty sure you’ve said before that sirius doesn’t feel/think exactly the same in ttdl, so where does that leave him?

like we’ve seen that regulus misses him, even though he never says it, not even thinks it. but most of his internal monologue in the recent chapters where he’s in grimmauld makes it pretty damn obvious that he hasn’t quite adapted to his brother’s absence, even though he doesn’t really realises it, seeing as that would require Emotional Awareness and Feelings Acknowledgement, which are very much not in the Regulus Black Skill Set.

but i’m curious to see if sirius feels/thinks the same way, if he unconsciously just brings up regulus in his own head when he sees, hears or does certain things. which is why i’m very excited for the next chapter, because Black Brothers Interaction, and i’ve also been dying to see what happens since you posted those last few lines of the last chapter on here, like, weeks ago.

anyway, all of this to say, i’m very fond of the black brothers and their particular brand of drama and miscommunication, and i’m really excited to see what you do with them <3

— 💌

re: not being on the same track at the same time, YES ABSOLUTELY - a lot of the time they're almost operating in different universes that play by different rules, and that means they're destined to miss each other

i've probably said at some point that sirius doesn't feel exactly the same way in ttdl afhslgkdhfj that seems like something i would say and it is true - the main difference is that in tyrant, sirius and regulus's estrangement is largely driven by their parents. in ttdl, while that is still *very much* the case, both of them have had enough of a hand in it to feel senses of both blame and guilt for how it's gone

so ttdl sirius has all of that going on, and he and regulus also both have their pride - the question is just who's better at swallowing it (not regulus) and who's better at actually admitting that something has gone wrong between them and they want to fix it (also not regulus)

sirius isn't going to chase regulus down on the train or anything like that, but he's more thoughtful than regulus gives him credit for (because regulus would really like to blame sirius running away on sirius being impetuous) and after the events of the next chapter, the wheels will be turning in his brain

so the reconciliation is an arc more than it is a scene or even a chapter - it's going to be an ONGOING process because it'll take a lot of time for regulus and sirius to work through the. everything. but soon they're going to start talking to each other again and that will be its own point of no return

[chxna-cheeseycake]

I feel like talking more about my Dante and Gene Swap AU but this time I will just mainly write out some quick hcs and shit because I don't feel like writing long paragraphs rn lmao. Anyways, enjoy my silly thoughts under the cut!

-Gene's hair is pretty long because he was technically homeless for awhile and didn't have much money so he didn't really have the means to cut it. Same thing goes for the stumble on his face.

-He actually starts liking his long hair though so it's chill with him. Most of the time he just throws it in a low ponytail and calls it a day.

-But Aphmau, Nana and/or Cadenza insist on styling from time to time so he just lets them have their fun. Gene does like the hairstyles they do for him so he appreciates it.

-Naoko (aka Nekoette) does the same thing for him post 15 year time skip which Gene finds really adorable and sweet <3

-Also I just want to make it clear that Gene will not be the father of Naoko and Dmitri cuz I just don't think it really fits with where I want to take this AU

-So Naoko's dad abandons her and Nana when Naoko was a baby while Dmitri's dad actually does die before he was born.

-However, Gene does act like a father figure to the both of them and even helps Nana co-parent Naoko after Naoko's father leaves. Gene and Nana remain as friends though and that's it. No romance here peeps sorry not sorry.

-Gene and Nicole are also just friends but they're friendship gets ruined after they get into a heated argument regarding Nicole leaving for Scaleswind. It'll take a long while for them to resolve this issue of theirs and reconcile.

-During the 15 year time skip when people started coming back to Phoenix Drop to rebuild the village, Gene is very hesitant to take the role of head guard even though the other villagers want him too.

-To be fair the last time he was head guard of a village things didn't go so well...

-So yeah, Gene has a good reason to not really want to take the position of head guard. But he then he starts thinking about how the people of Phoenix Drop need someone to protect them. How Levin, who will soon become a lord, will need a head guard to serve and protect him by his side.

-Only then does Gene decide to take on the role of head guard because people need him and he wants to once and for all prove that he is once more worthy to be dubbed a head guard.

-It's a daunting task of course and past trauma keeps making Gene terrified that he'll mess up again and put his newfound family in great danger. He needs some reassurance that he's doing great at his job and eventually he does realize that he's good enough and makes an excellent head guard.

-Nana tells him that Dante would definitely be proud of the person Gene has become which makes him tear up but with like happy tears of course.

-This AU can be pretty much summed up as Gene getting a redemption arc (that's also written a bit better too cuz that redemption arc in Mystreet... def needs a little work is all I'm saying oof).

-But speaking of Dante, I finally figured out what I'm going to do with him in this AU!!

-I decided to just go all the way with the swapping and make him come back as a Shadow Knight. But since Shadow Knights don't age if they died (at least that's what I recall anyways) Dante here is still like 12 years old when he becomes one.

-Which is very fucking hilarious if you ask me because Dante will be Shad's right hand man like canon Gene so imagine being a Shadow Knight and having a middle schooler be your superior lmao.

-Sasha was absolutely floored by this when she woke up in the Nether as a freshly born Shadow Knight, learning that this literal child is the goddamn general of the Shadow Lord's army.

-Though she still respects him despite the wacky age difference between them lol.

-Also Big Sis Sasha moments because she knows in her heart that this kid definitely went through some shit if he ended up as a Shadow Knight. So even if Dante recoils at the thought of vulnerability, Sasha treats him like a little brother at times and gives him some comfort here and there when it's clear that the kid is especially stressed out.

-Sasha often wonders why Shad decided to turn a whole child into a Shadow Knight in the first place. And a part of her, the old her buried deep within, finds this whole thing disgusting but it's hard to notice with how buried said feeling is.

-Now why did Shad bring Dante back as a Shadow Knight even though he was just a little guy? Obviously because he was in a silly goofy mood duh.

-Nah but seriously, the reason why he did that was because he saw some sort of potential in Dante's restless spirit. He thought that the boy would be naive and therefore easy to manipulate. All he had to do was change up some of the kid's memories and he would have an excellent soldier by his side.

-So Shad messed with Dante's memories and made the kid believe that his older brother purposefully murdered him and had no remorse in doing so. This greatly upset Dante and so Shad took this as his chance to encourage Dante to get revenge on Gene and convinced the kiddo that he could do that by becoming a great and powerful Shadow Knight.

-Dante agreed as he felt such intense hatred towards Gene now and would do whatever it takes to enact vengeance against his big bro. Eventually, Dante became such a good Shadow Knight that Shad made the little dude the general of his army. He also saw Dante as his son so Dante highkey gets special privileges that other Shadow Knights don't.

-Those special privileges turned Dante into a spoiled brat so if people don't listen to him or if things don't go his way, he gets very fucking pissed which is def not good as he is no ordinary bratty kid. We're talking about a kid with Shadow Knight abilities that allow him to slaughter several people in the matter of seconds if he so chooses. He's general for a reason so it's best to keep him happy or else you'll certainly be dealing with a ticking time bomb.

-Would it be correct for me to say that Dante is a demon hellspawn child because that's pretty much what he is.

-And then there's Gene who's a sad, angsty and disheveled heap of a man which makes this AU almost perfect in my eyes lol.

-I don't remember if this is 100% canon or not but I think Shadow Knights can shapeshift to some extent because I remember Zenix doing something like that in S1. But anyways, I bring this up because Dante absolutely uses this power of his to make himself at least a little taller cuz dying at 12 meant that he never got to have any growth spurt so he died short (big L moment lmao).

-He does this mostly because he hates being so short but it's also because he wants to make himself look a bit older as there have been quite the few instances of newbie Shadow Knights not treating him with respect because of his age.

-For reference, Dante was like 5'1-5'2 when he died but he uses his shapeshifting abilities to make himself appear closer to 5'5 most of the time but sometimes he'll get lazy and some other Shadow Knights will be a little confused on why their general shrunk out of nowhere.

-But even with the shapeshifting, it's still easy for others to tell that Dante is a child simply because of the way he acts at times. No amount of shapeshifting can hide that after all lmao.

-Now here's an angsty thought for y'all, Laurance knew about Dante being a Shadow Knight before meeting Gene but obviously didn't know that Dante was Gene's brother. However, once Laurance found out about Gene's whole backstory he decides not to tell Gene about Dante being a Shadow Knight as he wants to spare Gene the grief.

-Laurance does tell Aphmau and Garroth about it who also decide that it would be in Gene's best interest if he didn't know about the whole Dante thing. They think that Gene finding out about it would ruin any healing he has done but they're also afraid how Gene would react to just hearing that info.

-But Gene eventually does find out about his little brother being a Shadow Knight after the 15 year time skip when Sasha gets taken into Phoenix Drop's prison. Sasha first taunts Laurance and Aphmau for hiding such information from Gene and warns them that it's only a matter of time before he finds out.

-And when Gene heads over to the prison to check up on Sasha, that's when the truth comes out. She outright tells Gene that there's something that his friends have been hiding from him and explains what that something is. Gene is baffled and doesn't want to believe it so he confronts Aphmau and Laurance about what Sasha told him.

-Aphmau and Laurance aren't too happy about Sasha exposing them like that but they also expected that this was something she might do after she gave them that warning. So yeah they confirm that what Sasha said about Dante was true which really upsets Gene.

-But like can you blame the man? Technically speaking, they've been hiding this information from him for 15 years which is a long time to be hiding the fact that his younger brother was back and now a Shadow Knight bent on revenge.

-Gene wouldn't want to talk to Aph and Laurance for a bit but in the meantime Nana is there to comfort him because learning such news was definitely not easy for Gene.

-Laurance and Aphmau understand that Gene needs some time to process all this so they respect his wishes and leave him be until he's ready to talk to them again.

-And they do!! It doesn't take Gene all too long to talk things out with Aph and Laurance so they're chill now.

-Gene also can understand why they didn't want to tell him about Dante as that news was pretty hard for Gene to grasp after all.

-Gene needs a really big hug because man am I putting him through the wringer right now oof.

-While Vylad didn't have many interactions with Dante in the Nether, I still imagine that Vylad knew enough about Dante to pity the kid. He knew that there was no way that Dante was always like this. He always assumed that Shad did something that turned Dante into this heartless Shadow Knight general.

-Laurance felt the same way and would actually try to get through to Dante during his initial time in the Nether but it was no use. Dante didn't listen to him one bit and still seemed ever so dedicated to the Shadow Lord.

-And then there's Zenix who would gladly punt Dante off the nearest cliff if he could. He absolutely hates Dante for the sole fact that a 12 year old boy is somehow more worthy of being general of the Shadow Lord's army over him. Zenix is very bitter and thinks Shad has lost his goddamn mind for choosing a damn kid to be his right hand man.

-Dante also hates Zenix as he doesn't like that the other is getting in the way of all of his plans. And as mentioned before, Dante can and will throw a massive (and dangerous) fit if things don't go his way. Also it's absolutely canon to the AU that Dante has at one point kicked Zenix in the balls while in the middle of an argument. It was very unprompted and out of the blue so poor Zenix never saw it coming until it happened.

-Queue Shad watching this happen and lowkey trying to resist the urge to not laugh hysterically (spoiler alert: he's doing very bad at that).

-Also canon to the AU is Shad being a proud father of his gremlin Shadow Knight son that bites people without hesitation and whose favorite hobby is committing arson.

Okay so I don't have any other ideas right now so take this stupid ass meme I made in like 10 seconds. This AU is very fun for me to write about so this def won't be the last post I make about it!

[the-sky-queen]

Here's a ton bc your oc's are cool lmao hope you don't mind :

Nexus : 12, 22, and 23

Aurora : 25 and 30

Shade : 14 and 15

Umbra : 11

Melody : 16 and 17

Aela : 6 and 9

Blake : 9 and 10

:)

I don't mind at all! I very nearly cackled out loud on the bus when I got this. Thank you, Total! You make me happy. Alright, here we go!

Nexus the Unlimited

12. Are they good with Chao, Wisps, or any other sort of creature?

Not really. Nexus thinks that critters are cute, but he isn't really specifically good with them. He has a soft spot for Flickies though. :)

22. How are they with technology?

Nexus is decent at technology, but it's not really his strong suit. If he needs to gather information, he'd much rather talk to people or go through the library manually.

23. What is their preferred method of combat?

Nexus relies heavily on his vast library of Chaos Powers. It's his go-to for fighting. He usually channels his powers through his fists and legs in standard physical combat, but he has also been known to use a sword on occasion.

Aurora Hope

25. What’s the strangest thing about them?

Aurora's powers are pretty strange. But I won't go into them here since that's another question option. :P

30. What is their main goal/motive?

Right now, Aurora's focusing on fixing the future she came from, overthrowing all the gangs and reorganizing society. Not an easy task, but she has faith that she'll be able to do it. After that, she hopes to build her relationship with Shade.

Shade the Shadow Android

14. What makes them the happiest?

Being with his friends. :) A close second is just exploring and learning as much as he can. (Aurora also makes him very happy. He is so in love with her!)

15. What makes them feel angry/upset?

People messing with his friends. Specifically Aurora. Aela attacked Shade and Aurora once and Shade went absolutely crazy.

Umbra the Shepherd

11. Do they have any rivals?

For the longest time, the answer to this question was Nexus. But ever since Nexus got his memory back, he and Umbra have reconciled and are now actually good friends. So Umbra doesn't really have a specific rival right now.

Melody the Hawk/Aela the Shepherd

Gonna clear something up real quick since you listed questions for Melody and Aela. The 'two' are actually just one person. She just has two names. She went by Melody when she was a kid and changed her name to Aela when she became a Shepherd. (Backstory shenanigans! >:D) She responds to both names though and you can call her whichever you want.

16. Biggest strengths?

Melody's biggest strength is her unwavering resolve. She doesn't give up easily.

17. Biggest weaknesses/flaws?

She's a bit too loyal. She always carries out orders, even if she doesn't agree with her superior. It's a flaw Melody has recognized in herself and hates. It's one reason why Melody's so open to people proving her wrong. She knows that what she's been told to do isn't quite right, but she can't bring herself to disagree. So she likes it when other people prove that it was wrong and she gets to smirk to herself that her gut feeling was right.

6. Favorite Food?

Hmm. I'll have to say hot chocolate! Not exactly a food, but she used to make it with her mom all the time.

9. Who are they closest with?

Melody has a really close bond with her pet Cosmic Flicky, Jim! He's a sassy little bird and I love him so much.

Blake the Pyromaniac Porcupine

9. Who are they closest with?

Blake doesn't really have any friends. The members of the cult that raised him took care of him as a collective and he wasn't allowed to make friends outside of the group. All that was important was his destiny.

10. Is there someone they hate/dislike?

Oh, definitely! Blake is always picking fights with the Sonic of his timeline. They have a similar habit of bantering during battles, and Blake despises that. He doesn't like to think about how similar he and Sonic could be if he actually spent the time to look. Blake has a destiny to fulfil! He doesn't need to think about what-ifs! No. There's no way he ever could've been like Sonic. Bleh. Gross.

[clawsnoir]

alright, finally found some spare time to write about my favorite girl. let's talk about selina in the batman 2022 & what's driving her attraction to everyone's favorite emotionally repressed asshole vigilante.

under a cut, because this is going to get long - apologies in advance!

selina kyle is incredibly perceptive. this is an innate ability of hers, as well as a learned one. taking people/situations at face value can and will get you killed on the streets, to say nothing of the consequences that kind of naivety can bring when you're delicately navigating the criminal underworld the way that she is.

when she first meets Batman, she knows him by reputation only. he's a vigilante with a taste for vengeance - and while his biggest claim to fame is putting away a serial killer, he spends most of his nights pounding street level thugs into the concrete and throwing them in jail. selina, a street level drug dealer, is definitely aware of this fact and responds appropriately when confronted with him in person for the first time. she's startled, wary, then curious...and lastly, defiant, when he just stands there and continues to stare at her. she doesn't know what his deal is, and when it becomes clear that he's there looking into annika, she's less concerned about figuring it out and more worried about what exactly he's planning to do.

which isn't to say she isn't attracted to him - she's not as obviously affected as he is, but the pull is there.

their first contact in the mayor's mansion reveals quite a bit about him to selina. his unwillingness to hurt her, his surprising protective streak, and his unexpectedly naive assumptions about her motives. he's not the unfeeling monster he's painted himself as - and selina, who knows a thing or two about using disguise and theatre/performance as a means of survival, recognizes his damage as being similar to her own.

let's talk about the performance that is Batman. bruce is Batman is bruce, but he is not yet at a point where he has self-actualized and reconciled the two halves of his identity. this is important, because selina has yet to meet him as bruce; all she knows is the Batman.

the Batman has total control of his environment, he's highly logical and unaffected by emotion, he's powerful and authoritative, a dominating presence that strikes fear wherever he goes. (this is how bruce wants to be seen, and he's been successful thus far) selina is into that! like, I cannot stress how much she is into that, even as she enjoys poking fun at him for his stoicism. but she also can tell that it's a constructed persona, and the glimpses of the man beneath are intriguing to her.

there's also the outfit which, um...it's fetish gear. let's all be honest with ourselves, it's fetish gear. do not @ me with 'tactical this' and 'military that' because it is literally kink. shout out to zoë for confirming that selina thinks his entire getup is dead sexy and is part of why she's into him in the first place. freaky recognizes freaky, is what I'm saying lmao. his big bad bat persona is the perfect complement to her coquettish sex kitten.

so while selina is into the batsuit and the dark avenger thing bruce has going on, she's also curious about and drawn to the man inside of it. he's a dick towards her, no doubt about it, but it's never really /about/ her, it's about his own issues. selina knows this. she cuts him a lot of slack, but she also isn't afraid to stand up to him and cut him off when he oversteps her boundaries.

he's positioned himself as someone who's cleaning up Gotham's filth, looking out for the little guy, punishing evil...yet he's not really doing any of that effectively when they meet due to his tunnel vision methods. when she calls him out on his naive and limited worldview, she's trying to help him, to make him better.

& yes, part of why she falls so quick is due to how lonely she is. her affinity for strays says it all. is she perhaps a little too eager to trust him and throw her lot in with a virtual stranger, one she has never seen the face of? maybe. do bruce and selina have a history of falling in love at first sight and being each other's only exception when it comes to the walls they put up to keep others away? they sure do!

to steal from my fave @cityhalloween, selina wants batman to prove he's the man she thinks he is. a protector. the kind of man who uses his power and influence for good. the complete opposite of the men she's been surrounded by her entire life. is it a little unhealthy that she's more attracted to his potential than anything? a little bit, yeah, but who cares.

selina and bruce are very, very different; but inside they are one and the same. two broken kids playing animal dress up to distract from the pain, single-minded and solitary, coming to life in the dark where they feel free to be themselves. it's all about the recognition of the other, seeing parts of yourself in the beloved and loving them when you can't love yourself.

it's a genuine and pure connection. the relationship itself is um...not quite functional, as they both have a lot of character development to go through before they're fully realized versions of themselves, but the love is real and true.

[sydmarch]

I've been wanting to ask you this for a while, what do you think of the season finale? And who do you think is at fault? And how would you have written that fanfic you said you'd write in a post?

hi i finally have access to my laptop & have had a chance to clear my head enough to get around to answering this!! first off THANK YOU for asking bcus this is the kind of thing i could talk about for hours lol so let's get into it.

i think the s4 finale was a godawful ooc mess of poor writing & forced drama. even as just a season finale it's bad but as a SERIES finale?? worst series finale of all time and i say that as a fan of supernatural lmao.

in terms of who's at fault, this might not be the answer you want to hear but personally i felt like for a significant part of s4 (ESPECIALLY the finale) the characters were so ooc that my brain isn't able to engage with who's at fault in a watsonian/in universe way - the only ones i can see as at fault for all the bullshit that goes down are THE WRITERS because the characters started acting in ways that completely contradicted everything we knew about them.

quick sidebar from the characters to add that i feel like it was stupid to go for yet another version of the whole "team breaks up then reconciles" thing because they had already done that before.. although never with that big a split, so i guess it had the potential to be compelling if the spit hadn't felt so forced & if we had actually gotten a s5 to watch them reconcile.

pretty much everyone felt out of character to me in the finale but ESPECIALLY walter, paige, and sly. oh and FLORENCE it absolutely didn't make any sense for her to develop feelings for walter & that's not just the part of me who had hoped she would end up with sly talking.

the arguments and drama just felt so forced and unnatural like, you're really telling me the same walter who said to sly "your refusal to let go of the wonderment of childhood, how you look at the world with open eyes, your innocence is your brilliance, and anyone who tries to tell you any different is dead wrong" in a christmas car roll said in the finale "if you were a real man instead of a comic book reading baby boy you would’ve asked florence out ages ago"??? it does NOT make sense & i see no explanation for it other than poor writing & the writers trying to just force a conflict.

in earlier seasons it felt like when there was conflict between characters it MEANT something, it made sense with their characters, & it was satisfying to watch how it played out. an example sticking w the walter/sly dynamic for now - when sly was afraid to tell walter he was dating megan & walter was upset when he found out, only for it to turn out that walter was upset because he was worried about sly getting hurt and not because he didn't think he was good enough for megan like sly was worried about. THAT was conflict that's actually GOOD and MAKES SENSE, not some bullshit that doesn't fit with the characters we know and love like the finale split.

getting back to ooc moments in the finale tho - walter was totally justified to call out sly for bringing megan into the whole mess, but like sly would never do that in the first place?? i was floored that they had him bring up megan like that it was honestly disrespectful sly and megan. i remember in my liveblog while watching the finale i literally said "were the writers on crack" regarding that part and i still stand by that lmfao. they really just shit on sly's character to throw more drama into this mess.

i have to talk about paige as well here... in early seasons i always loved paige & felt like she got a lot of undue hate from the fandom in back then but come season 4 i can definitely see where some of that negativity was coming from. imo part of what made her go downhill was her already established negative traits coming out more often (like from the beginning paige has always had a tendency towards jealousness, pettiness, & idk if i should call it internalized misogyny or the writer's misogyny showing through her (like the "we should give it to a scent tracking dog who specializes in finding sluts" directed at stella in s2)) so those things i can fault paige the character for in the finale. even if i wish they hadn't chosen to exaggerate those traits, they do align with paige as we've seen her at her worst.

what i do fault the writers for completely wrt paige is how just like, mean they made her for no reason? and mean towards walter that just don't make sense when compared to how she acted with him in the past. watching paige go off on walter saying shit like "I wanna go to the beach without hearing marine biology facts or go to dinner without hearing about the inefficiency of putting parsley on the plate" had me feeling like who IS this woman and what did you do with paige? it didn't make any sense for her to be so frustrated with always having to do "genius stuff" and wanting to just do "normal stuff" sometimes when they had already known each other for years before they started dating, so like what exactly did you expect? their relationship was SUPPOSED to be grounded on the fact that while she wanted to help walter better himself, she loved him and understood him, and accepted his genius traits in a way no other non-genius really had before. but then throughout all of s4 it felt a lot more like paige was trying to change walter and turn him into someone she wanted him to be than it felt like she actually loved him for who he was.

of course to some extent paige was always working to change walter i mean, that was basically her job description, but in early seasons it never felt like she wanted to change him so much, or so selfishly, or in ways that weren't just to help him be more well-adjusted without actually changing him fundamentally. s4 largely left me feeling like what happened to the paige that wanted walter to be the best version of himself he could be while also embracing himself and everything that made him different? where's the paige who ordered fermented fish? my feelings about waige at this point are basically "they were one of the most ships of all time until they actually started dating, then it all went downhill". they had so much potential as a couple but the writers kept fucking it up & the finale was the ultimate fuck up on that front.

i don't really have many issues with walter's characterization in the finale other than what i've gone over already in this post but one thing that consistently frustrated me with his late seasons writing was how the writers would just let him stagnate. we'd have a whole episode about walter learning a specific lesson then episodes later he'd be acting exactly like he was before he'd learned said lesson. it felt like SUCH a disservice to his character especially with all the growth we'd seen from him in earlier seasons.

to name just one example - looking at a christmas car roll as an episode i love it & it's a very fun watch (despite the fact that to me it marks the point where the season starts going downhill because of the stupid dream that everyone made way too big a deal about lol) but it didn't really feel like it fit with season 4? it's something that really would've felt more at home in season 1 or 2. "walter learns to appreciate his team" is already a lesson that's been learned multiple times by now, it doesn't make any sense for him to even be in a place where he NEEDS to be relearning this lesson in s4. he should've been far past that but it's like the writers never allowed most of his character development to stick long term. i wish s4 had allowed him more room for actual growth instead of the same lessons repeated over & over again - it felt like he was more developed in earlier seasons & the writers brought him backwards which is such a waste of potential with him.

anyway that's enough about that because this is getting long & a bit off topic from the finale itself but i kind of had to go into my thoughts on s4 in general since they shape my thoughts on the finale so much lol. as far as fic, i had a few vague ideas planned about something with a canon-divergent retelling of the events of s4 tackling a lot of the things i mentioned above.

the most fleshed out idea i'd had in mind tho was one that, for the most part, stuck w the canon of s4 & still had the team split into scorpion 2.0 and centipede with the same people choosing the same sides. the idea started purely out of spite lmao in my mind i had to prove to the writers that ok, you really need the team divided? here's how to do that while writing it in a way that made sense, keeping the post split-teams the same, and WITHOUT fucking up everyone's characterizations. i never really wrote a rough draft but did come up with a bunch of bullet points and a kind of general outline for what i had in mind:

-paige is still upset with walter because yes - she can be petty irrational and jealous. so i'd let her get a little jealous, but i'd cut all of the stuff about "not wanting to do genius stuff all the time" and "emotionally you'll never be more than 16". basically i'd allow her to be jealous & petty but cut all the meanness & the end goal would be for her to actually ADDRESS her pettiness and jealousy by the time they reconcile.

so they would still break up but it would be partially about the jealousy and partially paige being upset/disappointed about walter lying more than anything else. instead of thinking that he'lll never mature emotionally, she'd feel like he isn't mature enough to handle their relationship yet. once we get to the part where the team/waige reconcile it can be based on both walter gaining some more perspective (i don't want it to sound like put all the blame on him here or anything - paige did a pretty shit job explaining the whole white lies thing and was pretty hypocritical about it but i blame that more on the writers trying to force drama than on her) and paige working on her issues too, especially jealousy. so by the time they get back together they're both more mature & prepared to be in a relationship with each other. i'd like to have him write her another love song & have him sing it for her right before they get back together.

-sly still gets rejected by florence & some part of him still blames walter but much less so than in canon. i'd get rid of all the "you made her fall in love with you/you stole her from me" nonsense and make it more like he's projecting his own issues with self worth onto being upset with walter. considering his primary arc throughout the season was around his self worth, what am i really doing with my life, will i ever find some after megan, etc, it would make sense for him to take the rejection poorly and lash out but not so much out of direct jealousy towards walter but more in a sense that he feels overshadowed by him, and envious of the fact that walter has paige while he doesn't have anyone.

the aftermath/reconciliation arc i imagine for sly would be more about finding his own sense of self worth without feeling like he necessarily needs to "find someone". but then i think i'd still have him find someone anyway because it'd be nice and he deserves it. as much as i shipped him and florence during early s4 i don't think i'd have it be her, more likely i'd invent a character for this.

-florence isn't romantically interested in sly OR walter. she sticks with walter on scorpion 2.0 purely because they're friends and they work well together (this would probably be something paige gets EXTREMELY jealous about & would be one of the things she spends a lot of time working through.) also because it'd be pretty awkward to join centipede after turning down sly. i never really figured out what i'd do with her after that, i feel like we didn't really get enough info in s4 about florence as a character rather than just like, florence as a plot device/source of drama. to be fair it's been a while since i last watched s4 but even looking through my old notes i don't have anything about like an arc i'd like to see for florence so i feel like i'm remembering correctly & there's just not a whole lot to go on.

i also wasn't able to come up with any reasonings for toby & happy to leave that i'm truly satisfied with lol. all throughout s4 i was just waiting for them to decide to adopt WAY sooner because i mean. it's the OBVIOUS choice for happy & absolutely ridiculous that they jumped through so many hoops & did all these fertility treatments. should NOT have taken her so long to realize she wanted to adopt.

if it were up to me i would've had happy decide she wanted to adopt as soon as she decided she wanted kids. so in this scenario maybe i'd have them already with an adopted kid & they decide to leave & be part of centipede because they're just stressed out from all of the drama. i don't feel like there's much i'd need to change with cabe here, it's obvious he'd stand by walter.

i was never able to really wrap my brain around ralph in this scenario maybe bcus i'm not good with kids lol but i was LIVID that they just left him out of the finale completely when he should've been one of the most important characters to take into consideration for something like this?? yes obviously ralph has grown up a lot since s1 but when the team split in the past how it would impact ralph was ALWAYS a big thing that was taken into account. he wanted paige & walter to get together so badly, he always wanted walter to be his dad (personally i always thought it was kind of dumb how that stuff was written - imo walter WAS his dad from early on. he doesn't have to be dating paige to be ralph's dad. the found family show needn't be so beholden to the nuclear family but that's a whole 'nother post!) and they just did not include him in the episode or even bring him up.

anyway this post kind of got away from me but that's pretty much the gist of my thoughts on the finale & what i would have done differently!

[x-infernhoes-x]

Evermore- Maliksi x Reader

Title: Evermore

Genre: : )

Warnings:  Not much but I’ll leave it to you guys lmao. Implied Relationship as well so ye.

Word Count: 1, 690 k +

Description: I don’t know WHY I get ideas for fanfics at ungodly hours of the night like I’m supposed to be on a break here since my neck still hurts from writing that 2k pound of word vomit that is known to be one of my greatest smut piece that eventually earned me the title as ‘The Emissary for Zaddy Cannibal’ WHEEZE and I started writing this at 1:57 am so let’s hope I’d finish this before 4 am. I’m basing some stuff I know about Maliksi from the comics and perhaps the anime as well. I also suggest listening to Evermore from the live-action version of Beauty and the Beast after reading!

PS. I didn’t finish this last night because I got sleepy at 3 am. There’s an AO3 version of this that’s direct to the point if you want something shorter than this one which can be found here! Oh and my grandma suggested that I set the font size to 12 instead of 11! and as always, I finished this at 3:29 am GGWP talaga.

Anyways, enjoy! _______________________________________

If people asked about how the Prince of Tikbalangs was like as a person, most of them would describe him as rowdy, haughty, stubborn at times may even be perceived as a pervert due to his distaste of not wearing any underwear underneath his jeans. Some thought of him as the classical, spoiled rich kid who cared for no one but himself but in reality, he was so much more than what people would perceive him to be. Being a Prince was something, sure he got everything that he wanted regardless of what it was, he would always find a way for it but sometimes it led him to live a rather lonely life that felt like he was nothing more but a slave to live through this illusion of being the perfect prince.

If they took the time to peek through the curtains of his façade, they would see that he just wanted someone to understand and see him for who he is but this also proved to be contradictory for the poor fellow given the fact that every time someone would show him just the right amount of honesty and kindness, he would find out that most of these people were only after him for things such as taming him to become their loyal servant, for his money or even for the sake of his looks. He thought that this curse of his would stay with him for the rest of his Engkanto life but somehow that all seemed to change his rather pessimistic view on life when he had come across someone who would turn his whole life in a different direction.

Maliksi had met (Y/N) (L/N) on one of his father’s many extravagant events where he was forced to sit through it. Of course, while his father was busy chatting away, the prince took this as an opportunity to sneak away which eventually led him towards an unsuspecting person who would change his life forever.

At first, the two of them were like total opposites, always clashing and arguing about something to the point that his father, Senior Armanaz had to interfere with their constant bickering but time seemed to wear both Maliksi and (Y/N)’s dissatisfaction for each other’s presence and instead began to tolerate the other, which eventually led into something more than just friendship among the two.

Maliksi and (Y/N) were completely inseparable, almost attached to the hip to the point that the Prince was rarely seen without them. He would take (Y/N) on trips across the country, sometimes he would take them out on long drives after his races and almost everything in between. People have reported that the two seemed even more in sync especially in battle, covering each other’s backs while bantering about which car model was the best or where they would eat after this whole ordeal like the two of them were playing a mere game of Patintero or even playing a good round of Pogs to see who got the most hits on their opponents and who seemed to be stronger.

But there were precious moments where Maliksi would take them on trips across the country just to escape from the hectic and bustling streets of the city and gave them the taste of what it means to be free and live life in color. He would watch his partner’s joyful and almost curious gaze with a feeling of warmth and care in his chest that would make him smile along with them, the two of them would participate in various festivals such as Flores de Mayo and its ritual pageant, Santa Cruzan, The Masskara Festival in Bacolod down to his personal favorite which happened to be the Moriones Festival that takes place in Marinduque. But out of those trips, the one that he treasures the most was the time Maliksi and his parents had flown out to their home province, Bukidnon to celebrate the Kaamulan Festival where his partner met the rest of the family, of course, this was also the time where he had proposed to (Y/N) after their 3 years of dating, he was glad that they had accepted his proposal.

Who knew things would eventually change from thereon. With the underworld restless and agitated from all the events that have transpired, it seemed to put a strain between Maliksi and his fiancé. To make matters worse between the two, Maliksi began to do races that would conclude in fatal car accidents for both parties. This would result in (Y/N) and Maliksi arguing non-stop every time they meet however these fights never resulted in something physical but it would leave them in tears or the other walking away with a slam of the door. This cycle seemed to break the moment a certain Babaylan-Mangdirigma had beat him at his own game and managed to snap some sense into him as well the moment his beloved ran at him at full force, scolding him right in front of Alexandra Trese before the two left to settle their problems in private.

“Magpakasal na tayo.” Maliksi told (Y/N) the morning after the two of them had reconciled. Of course, this made his fiance cough up their drink, eyes wide and still hacking their lungs out while Maliksi made his way over to them, patting their back gently to ease their pain. Once things were clear, (Y/N) could only look at him, disbelief and surprise evident on their face before they spoke, “Seryoso ka ba?! Paano yung simbahan, yung venue-“ Holding their hands in his own, Maliksi could only give his soon-to-be spouse a grin, placing a chaste kiss upon the back of their hands. “Wag ka nang magalala, babe. I’ve got it covered.” And just like he had said, Maliksi did have it covered, the venue, the church, and everything in between. It was a quick but simple ceremony that had his parents and (Y/N)’s parents present and nobody outside of the clan knew about this union between them. Time seemed to move quickly after that but the two newlyweds felt like it was an eternity for them both.

In a short amount of time the fantasy of church bells and dreaming faded into war cries and chants of ‘Sic Itur Ad Astra’  quickly and we see Maliksi and his spouse come face to face with the greatest foe they’ve ever come across, the war-god of Bukidnon, Talagbusao. With the rest of their forces subdued by the War God and Maliksi trying to recover from the hit he had taken from Talagbusao, the Tikbalang prince seemed to take notice that his spouse was nowhere in sight and panic seemed to take a hold on him like a choke-hold. Standing up, he began to look for them, ruby-red eyes rapidly scanning the area, furiously looking for his beloved, silently praying to Bathala that they were okay or let alone still be alive.

His prayers seemed to be answered when he saw them, still kicking and fighting and running to where Talagbusao was and he immediately knew something was wrong. “(Y/N)!! ANONG GINAGAWA MO!?” Maliksi yelled out through the sound of roaring bullets, trying his best to reach over to where their lover was.  “Alexandra, ngayon na!” Maliksi heard (Y/N)’s commanding voice ring out as she caught the Babylan-Mandirigma’s knife, Sinag throwing it to her while they subdued Talagbusao to the best of their abilities, eyes locked with their husband as they mouthed at him, ‘Patawarin mo ako, Maliksi.’ And as quick as a flash, Alexandra, Talagbusao, and (Y/N) disappeared into the Dragon’s Gate. Maliksi was left to watch his spouse in paralyzed horror and shock disappear right before his eyes, chest clenching in panic as the impact of the closing portal sent everyone nearby it flying backward.

_____________________

A month has then passed after that event and we see Maliksi within the Trese household as he would always do, always waiting, hoping, and praying that his (Y/N) would return to him safe and unharmed. This day was different than the other days he would spend at the household because this day was the day that Alexandra Trese had returned as announced by a pale-looking and wide-eyed Hank. The tikbalang prince was the first to head where Alexandra---who was now swarmed by her older brothers and the kambal, his eyes still searching for his spouse, his expression of hope immediately diminished as he spoke, his voice slowly trembling with each step he took, “Nasaan si (Y/N), Alexandra?”  at the mention of his spouse’s name, Alexandra then refused to meet his eyes as the rest of the Trese siblings along with the Kambal clearing a path for him, all watching him with disconsolate looks and glistening eyes as Alexandra held onto Sinag as tightly as she could, trying her best to find the right words to say to him.

“Wala na si, (Y/N), Maliksi. She’s gone.”

_________________________

“There is a story, of a man who had lost his beloved in a war, some say he still waits for their return, others say that the day his beloved had disappeared, he had soon followed.” 

“They say that this man could be found standing by the tall windows of Tower A [1] located in Ayala Avenue. Urban myths suggest that this man is a ghost bound to the building, others say that he’s the reason why that Tower still exists.” Now in his prime, Maliksi sat in the place where his father used to sit. It had been years since he had taken over the clan and years since his beloved, (Y/N) was taken away from him at such an early age. Beside him was an empty throne reserved for them once they return. No matter how many years it would take him, Maliksi Armanaz, former prince and now leader of the Armanaz clan, would still wait for his beloved, (Y/N) to return to him until the end of his days. He would wait for them for evermore.   

[tornscale]

RELATIONSHIPS  — TALK ABOUT THE MUSE

NAME:   Tal’um Dorminia Drakensis

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:   Demiromantic/Demisexual

PREFERRED PET NAMES:  D.....does he have any??? Tbh he’s happy with anything his partner(s) call him.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Depends on the verse, but switches between single and taken! Mostly taken nowadays actually!

FAVOURITE CANON SHIP: ALL OF THEM!

NON-CANON SHIP:  ... with G’raha Tia and Malenia from Elden Ring

OPINION ON TRUE LOVE: Absolutely 100% advocate for it! It might take time and come in forms you weren’t expecting, but it is out there!

OPINION ON LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Not impossible, but certainly rare. It takes more than just a single look to see if they’re your love, but it’s sure as hell a good start to finding out.

HOW ROMANTIC ARE THEY?: He will shower you with all the praise and jewels you could ever desire, he will adore you like the finest painting from the most exquisite collection and delight in you like one does the finest of wine and music. So yeah he’s a fucking romantic once he warms up to you lmao

IDEAL PHYSICAL TRAITS: Thick thighs, pretty eyes, plump lips, muscles, any booba size, and kissable cheeks.

IDEAL PERSONALITY TRAITS: Confidence, kindness, empathy, a quick wit, and just blunt but not brutal honesty.

UNATTRACTIVE PHYSICAL TRAITS: Not really too many honestly, though he doesn’t like it if someone doesn’t care about their appearance to the point of slobishness. Also not a super huge fan of baldness, but it isn’t a deal breaker by any means.

UNATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY TRAITS: Haughtiness, hubris, condescension, uncaring, rudeness, being too meek, and apathy.

IDEAL DATE: Going out to a nice beach with perfectly clear skies, a pleasant breeze, refreshing drinks, and then followed up with a delightful lunch/dinner with a scenic walk or flight before ending the night at his place.

DO THEY HAVE A TYPE?: The more confidence your muse has, and the more forward they are, the more likely he is to fall for you. Though he does tend to lean towards the more dangerous girls now that I think about it.

AVERAGE RELATIONSHIP LENGTH: RIDE OR DIE, BITCHES! IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL! Though in a few cases his partners did leave him early on to leave him as a single father, sooooo yeah. Otherwise he will stay for the whole ride!

PREFERRED NON-SEXUAL INTIMACY: Running his talons through his partners hair, or laying his head on his partners lap as they pet his scales and horns.

COMMITMENT LEVEL: If he is willing to marry your muse, he will literally offer you a piece of his heart, his ‘Dragons Flame’, to bind your souls together. But he will do this process ONLY IF the other party is equally willing to commit. He does not want to ‘shackle’ or ‘cage’ them, and will stop if they say so. But regardless he will absolutely stay until the sweet or bitter ends.

OPINION OF PUBLIC AFFECTION: Wanna make out in public? Hell yeah!

PAST RELATIONSHIPS?: Has had a few, including his first girlfriend that is Riona. Those two left on uncertain terms due to the war and the exile Tal’um suffered after, but once they met they managed to reconcile and stay very close friends.

tagged by:    @hottataru​

tagging:  @gatheringstars @cyluos @pxrifiedmxniac @cceancycs @shiningxfates @tivnxivn @starxxtravelers​ and @kinships!

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

Quick Episode 6 Reaction

So like with the other episodes I want to do a rewatch before making a more detailed response post, but I wanted to get at least some of my thoughts out there:

So, a kind of summary of my initial reaction to episode 6 as it progressed (in the moment of watching) was basically this: “ok ok how long are they going to be sitting in this room being monologued at and when is Loki going to get to actually do something? Ok the new guy is still talking...aaand he’s still talking, uhh we’re over halfway through the episode wtf is happening, how can this possibly be the finale, Loki has barely had any lines let alone done anything, new guy? still?? talking??? ok good finally some real Loki content, yes this is good, (a kiss, oh dear), Loki tears very good - wait, CLIFFHANGER? wtf is happening??” And now that season 2 is official and I do, in fact, know wtf is happening, I feel much better and am enjoying the great things about this episode.

I mean I’m still not delighted that the first 3/4 of the episode had barely any actual Loki content, but when we finally did get some in the last like 15 minutes it was amazingly excellent Loki content, so...?

And all that said I did think He Who Remains/Kang was fascinating and the acting was amazing.

I LOVED that Loki got to be the more level-headed one (such a far cry from Lamentis!) and just wanted to talk about things before making a decision - and they made it so abundantly clear it wasn't about him trying to get a throne. Also I appreciated that their fight seemed evenly matched and they both got to use magic. 

"How do I know that in in final moments you won’t betray me?" - oh boy this line is an interesting one to think about now.

Speaking of the Sylvie betrayal, they did an excellent job with that whole scene - Sylvie’s conflict and emotion and the way she broke down crying multiple times. I loved that it wasn’t a “ha ha ha this was a long con and I was A Bad Guy the whole time!” and was instead a very realistic and raw moment born out of her suffering. 

When Loki was talking to her right before the kiss, I was quite concerned he was going to say something cliche/cringy like "I just want to be with you" so I'm glad it was "I just want you to be ok." And I felt terrible for Loki but my honest reaction to her pushing him away was just a whole lot of relief that there was something to undercut that kiss, lmao.

I am really glad that Sylvie was the one to kiss Loki and not the other way around. It makes the betrayal even more heartbreaking because we have Loki internally going “!!!!!!!!!” about just having received affection initiated by a person he craved affection from, and then it immediately having it ripped away from him and realizing it wasn’t real and it was just to get him to let his guard down so he could be betrayed (I mean it’s unlikely it was completely fake, we know Sylvie has some manner of feelings for him/desire to give him affection either in a romantic or platonic sense - but really it doesn’t matter all that much anyway, because either way she still betrayed him and the kiss was ultimately just to help her do that).

They honestly did the romance in one of the best ways possible imo (since they insisted on making it romantic) because I feel very free to continue headcanoning that Loki was confusing his platonic feelings for romantic ones? I mean it’s not unlikely that season 2 will have them reconcile and it’ll still be romantic, but at least for now that headcanon definitely still works within what we were given? @iamanartichoke I think I remember reading a post of yours talking about your theory about Loki mixing up his feelings because of never having had a friend before, but I can’t find it - do you remember which post that was? (I mean there are a lot of posts about that but I feel like there’s a specific one I’m thinking of? Idk)

MOBIUS NOOOOOOOOOOO

Did they actually explain what the Loki and Sylvie Nexus event was? Was it just them falling in love and stuff? I can’t tell if that’s the explanation or if I should expect there to be more of an answer to that later on. 

Also they still haven’t told us what Sylvie's nexus event was and I'm curious if they're just not going to? Which seems weird but idk if it'll fit into the plot of the next season?

And finally, LOTS of Loki tears in this one! 10/10 for the Loki Crying section on the episode scorecard. 

Tagging a few people: @delyth88 @thelightofthingshopedfor @iamanartichoke 

[cicada-bones]

The Warrior and the Embers

Chapter 35: Blessing

Sorry about the wait (...again lmao) But I hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think! (also - this is the last one before the meeting between Maeve and Aelin! We really are getting close to the ending!)

Masterlist / Ao3 / Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

For the first time, seemingly in weeks, Rowan awoke with a clear head.

Today, they would leave Mistward. In the week that had passed since his…cadre’s…departure, the fortress had gotten no word from the capital. No summons, no orders. This did not comfort him.

Maeve knew everything, she had to. But instead of choosing to strike, she was biding her time. She knew that he had to return to Doranelle eventually. It was not to her advantage to drag them home early, and against their will.

As Rowan walked about their rooms, gathering various belongings, he couldn’t help but wonder what had happened upon the cadre’s return to the city. Couldn’t help but imagine what they had been forced to endure on his behalf.

Aelin stirred in bed, giving Rowan the chance to shake away those thoughts. He took it gratefully.

The princess sat up, her golden hair rumpled. Cloudy eyes found his. “It’s time to leave. Isn’t it?”

Rowan only nodded.

Within half an hour, they were ready to depart, and found themselves standing at the kitchen door, saying their goodbyes to Emrys, Malakai, and Luca.

Somewhere to his right, Aelin was enduring a torrent of worry and affection from Emrys, all while the old male shoved more food than Rowan thought was in the entire fortress pantry into her rapidly-filling pack. Rowan was facing Malakai, who seemed to be struggling to figure out what exactly to say.

The prince decided to take pity on the male. “It has been an honor, Commander,” he said firmly, with a slight bow of his head.

Malakai’s body jerked, his scent speaking of surprise. “…the very same, Your Highness.” The old commander also bowed his head, respect lining his brow.

A small smile graced Rowan’s lips as he backed away, allowing Aelin to say her final goodbyes without any interference.

The princess was looking at the three males, her brow furrowed with anxiety but her scent warm with affection. “It might take a while,” she was saying, “but if – when, I reclaim my kingdom, the demi-Fae will always have a home there. And you two – and Malakai – will have a place in my household, should you wish it. As my friends.”

Emrys’ eyes were gleaming as he nodded, gripping Luca’s hand. Malakai let the ghost of a smile intrude on his resolute expression. Rowan had to hold in a grin at the sight – the gruff commander really had let this female worm into his heart, whether he had wanted it or not.

Luca was openly staring at Aelin, his eyes filled with wonder. Rowan was not sure whether he had ever truly understood who he had spent all those weeks toiling beside in the kitchens. But there was no doubt in his mind now – this was a future queen standing before them. And no longer could anyone easily forget it.

Pride at everything Aelin had accomplished coursed through him. Pride and fondness. He had known that he loved her, deep in his heart, for days – weeks, really. Ever since he saw her looking back at him through the Valg darkness, and she smiled at him, with that Queen’s smile.

Aelin reached out and ruffled Luca’s hair, a warm smile stretching her cheeks. She made to turn and join Rowan at the edges of the trees, but before she could Emrys spoke up.

“Your mother would be proud,” he said. Aelin put a hand on her heart and bowed her thanks. Rowan knew without even needing to taste her scent that words wouldn’t be capable of communicating the depth of her gratitude.

But the morning was beginning to wane, so he cleared his throat softly. And Aelin gave the three males one last parting smile before she followed him into the trees.

Their feet were light as they padded over the leaf-dusted earth, their speed increasing until they were once again streaks of gold and silver through the misty undergrowth. Only this time, their path headed up the mountains to the east, in the direction of the rising sun. To Maeve, at last.

···

The whipping was no more than he deserved.

Lorcan didn’t have to say it out loud to know that it was true, though he’d found himself repeating it over and over again in his head over the past two days. Days that he had spent tied to a post in the stocks, being whipped by Cairn.

There was no warning before Cairn entered the small, muddy yard. No time for Lorcan to prepare. All of a sudden, he would feel a breath at his back, would hear the slight pull of feet in mud, and then the iron would rent his back.

Cairn worked at him for what felt like hours at a time, his every stroke of the whip coated with gleeful mutterings and shouted taunts. Lorcan knew that the vile male took every possible pleasure in having such power over him, that every sound he made would be played over in Cairn’s mind for weeks or months to come.

So Lorcan kept as silent as he could, each stroke of the whip becoming a vow of revenge.

He knew that he deserved punishment. But this, this was something different. This was personal. And Lorcan would take his vengeance on Cairn even if it took him unto the end of his life.

Mostly, Lorcan slept. And let the pain and rage consume him.

Even so, Lorcan couldn’t find it within himself to really regret the decision. The betrayal. Rowan had not lied – if they hadn’t come, Mistward would have fallen. They had saved him, and that fire-breathing bitch. This was just the price they had to pay.

But Lorcan wasn’t sure he would ever forget the sound of that word on his queen’s lips. Betrayal.

He had betrayed her. The one thing he had sworn never to do, not in his extraordinarily long life. And he had done it. When it came down to it, he had chosen Whitethorn’s life over his devotion to his Queen. Had chosen Rowan over Maeve.

And the truth of that decision shook him.

Maeve had found him in that hovel, those centuries past, had rescued him and nurtured him. Had made him into who he was. And yet he had betrayed her. It would be a long time before he would be able to reconcile that with himself.

He was her Second, her top commander, her most trusted confidant. He was responsible. The one in charge. He was at least as guilty as Whitethorn. He didn’t blame Maeve for her punishment of him, even as he hated Cairn for it. Even though he had betrayed his Queen, he could never hate her.

Ever since he had first beheld her, and felt the curls of her dark power brush his dark soul, he had loved her. There hadn’t been anything he could do about it. It was like they were made for each other, both creatures of darkness. Both Fae who stood alone and apart. Who were both loved, and hated, by those less powerful than they.

But she did not feel the same.

Her every rejection of him cut him to the quick. Lorcan tried not to let her see how much her indifference hurt him, but he knew that she knew. And that she gloried in it, in his suffering. Gloried in the way that they both knew this doomed courtship would never end, that he would never stop loving her, and she would never stop taunting him with that love.

Lorcan knew that she bedded Fenrys partially to spite him. Knowing that choosing him over Lorcan would hurt more than some noble, or courtier. And the fact that it worked infuriated him. But there was nothing he could do about it.

Other than perhaps be grateful that Rowan was her relation, however distant, and therefore could not be the blade of her choice. For it was certain that Maeve choosing Rowan to take to bed would hurt more than even Fenrys.

Rowan was his, not hers.

Or at least he was his. Not anymore.

Lorcan had lost Rowan to the clutches of some foreign whore. A bitch-queen from across the sea. And he had no idea how to get him back.

So Lorcan took his whipping with a curse, and a smile. Cairn was the least of his problems. And soon, Lorcan would ensure that the despicable male got what was coming to him.

Cairn left him there, bleeding on the stones, until day passed into night and then day again. And Gavriel and Fenrys came for him.

A key clicked in a lock, shackles fell into the mud with a thump, and Lorcan sagged to the ground, his limbs sighing in relief even as they wept fresh blood into the earth, red beneath his bloody body.

“Get him up,” Gavriel said softly, and Lorcan felt hands reach around his arms and pull him to his feet. “I’m sorry Lorcan, she ordered us not to heal your wounds with our power.”

Lorcan just grunted, forcing his legs to take his weight. They shook, but held. Fenrys began to guide him back up the path to the area of the palace that held their suites.

Lorcan frowned, but accepted the male’s assistance with as much grace as he could muster. He didn’t really have another choice.

“Anything to report?” Lorcan’s voice strained through gritted teeth. One step after the other, he said to himself, one step after the other.

“Nothing of any significance.” Gavriel shrugged. “We received word yesterday from the sentries that guard the western pass that the wolves spotted Rowan and Aelin making their way through the mountains.”

“So they are on their way to Doranelle.” Lorcan grunted.

“Evidently.”

“And when are they expected – ” he gasped, sucking in a breath through his teeth, “ – to arrive?”

“Within two or three days,” Gavriel said, soberly.

Fenrys, however, seemed to have a very different reaction. His scent filled with anger, and his muscles filled with tension, coiled to spring. He shook his head. “When Rowan gets here, I hope he suffers for what he’s done. I hope she drags him over hot coals for this.”

Gavriel turned in alarm, “Fenrys, you don’t – ”

“I mean it, Gavriel. I can’t wait to tell him what happened because he sent us those damned letters. To tell him that she tied Lorcan up in the yard and let Cairn – ”

“You will do no such thing.” Lorcan forced as much authority as he could into his pained voice. Fenrys frowned at him, confused. “You will not speak of this, not to Rowan, not to anyone.”

“But Lorcan – ”

“No, Fenrys. What’s done is done. There’s no changing it now. And it’s no use harping on about it like some upset child.”

Lorcan could feel Gavriel looking at him inquisitively, but Lorcan kept his eyes ahead, until they reached the familiar halls of the residential part of the castle and he shook off their assistance and told them to go and get some rest.

But before he could escape to his rooms, Fenrys tried to speak up one last time. “Lorcan, Rowan should – ”

“No, Fenrys. And I will not hear any more of this from you. You will not speak to Whitethorn about what happened here, and I’m tired of saying so. And if I find out that you defied a direct order, there will be consequences.” Lorcan stared him down, looking the young male directly in the eyes, until Fenrys nodded and turned away.

Gavriel nodded as well, and the two males left the stone corridor.

Lorcan collapsed facedown into bed, but for long minutes, sleep eluded him. He knew that within a couple of hours, or perhaps a day, his own magic would heal the wounds to his body. But right now, they hurt enough to keep him from sleep.

Rowan would have enough to face when he reached Doranelle, he didn’t need Fenrys attacking him at first opportunity as well. And the knowledge of what Maeve had done because Rowan had called for their aid…he didn’t need that weighing on his soul.

Rowan hadn’t really had another choice. He needed to save the fortress, and the demi-Fae. Needed to save the female he loved.

Lorcan turned over in bed, the sheets rustling as he groaned in pain. If Lorcan knew nothing else, he knew how far one would go for the one they loved.

···

Rowan awoke with the rustling of leaves, and the flicker of a breeze over his cheeks. It whispered of birds chattering, a far-off stream, of the coming dawn, and of the countless dreams of slumbering Fae, hidden just from sight.

He rose slowly, his eyes automatically flicking over to his left side to check on the female who was still slumbering there. Aelin’s eyes flickered beneath her lids, her brow furrowed and her mouth open, letting the occasional bated breath escape. Telltale signs of nightmares haunting her sleep.

Rowan frowned and stood. There was nothing he could do, and she needed all the sleep she could get, even if that sleep was restless. Today, she would meet with the Queen of the Fae, and show her all that she had learnt.

They had camped that night at the top of a hill, at the bottom of which you could see the rivers that would lead them through the rest of the valley and right up to the stone walls of Doranelle. Rowan strode through their small camp, heading east to where the first glints of the rising sun could be gleaned over the ruffled edge of the horizon.

Below him, the river water churned, gray and violent and deep. Surely a promise of what was to come.

Today, he would see Maeve again. For the first time in months. For the first time since he had realized the true depth of what he had given up the day he swore her the blood oath. Rowan wondered how long it would take her before she knew that she had lost him forever. Wondered if she already knew. Surely Lorcan and Gavriel had told her what happened at the ward-gates? Surely she must have guessed?

Either way, all would be decided before nightfall. Relief and panic warred within him, fighting for dominance. Both held fast.

Rowan turned to glance back at the queen – his Queen – shifting on her bed of leaves, close to wakefulness. She was so beautiful. Everything he wanted, and everything he couldn’t have.

But something that he just had to save. Someone he had to save.

Desperation began to overflow within him, breaking through the final barriers of ice surrounding his heart. And then, as he turned back to face the now-rising sun, it happened.

At first, it was just a brush, like a trail of burning fingertips, across his brow and down his cheek. Then the feeling of a Presence. Greater and more terrible than he had ever thought to comprehend. Greater than any he could possibly imagine.

She was the sun and the stars and the hearth and the candleflame, the great and the small, the important and the insignificant. She was more than any would ever know, more than thousands of years of worship could appreciate.

She was Mala Firebringer.

And like a sunbeam though the morning dew, she appeared before Rowan Whitethorn, Prince of Doranelle, Lieutenant and second to Lorcan Salvaterre, and bloodsworn to Maeve, The Queen of All the Fae, a silent question ready on her lips.

What ails you so, Prince of Ice?

Rowan wanted to fall to his knees, to avert his eyes, to fall into some remembered prayer from childhood lessons. Yet he was frozen in place.

She was barely more than an outline, a shaft of light enclosed in the rising sun, but he felt her mighty power and strange gentleness as potently as if she were standing right next to him. And that mighty power felt…familiar. Like something he had already learned to love.

So Rowan breathed in her unknowable scent and offered up his desperate prayer.

Rowan Whitethorn begged the Goddess of Dawn to protect Aelin Galathynius. To keep her safe from Maeve when they entered Doranelle, to give her strength and guidance, and to let her walk out alive.

And yet Mala waited. Her question still unanswered. A hidden truth not yet acknowledged.

So Rowan unlocked that final door, and told Mala what truly weighed on his heart. Not for Aelin to survive, or to leave safely, having secured her armies and her peace. But for them to stay together. For Rowan to remain with Aelin, the woman he loved. Here or in any other world.

And as he admitted that, the deepest truth of his heart, Rowan felt the goddess smile at him, across time and space, through other worlds and bearing the prayers of thousands, as she disappeared into the brightening sun.

Aelin awoke, and moved to stand beside him. She cast him a questioning look, which he left unanswered. He didn’t know if he could explain what had just passed. But he knew that it had been something permanent, unchangeable.

They packed up camp and began to scale the hill, following the rushing river back to its source. To Doranelle they went, for their futures to be decided. To Doranelle, where a dark Queen lay in her spider’s web, waiting to pounce. To Doranelle, with the grace of a goddess bestowed upon them, their blades sharp, their steps light, and their eyes bright with star fire.

To Doranelle.

···

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[alewyren]

final fantasy!

I wasn’t sure if I should include Bravely Default or not because ohhh man I have some fuckin Thoughts, so I’ll just do one for mainline FF and one for Bravely Default.

The first character I first fell in love with: 

Tidus left a strong impression on me as a kid due to the way FFX ended, and I still really like him, but I wouldn’t say I was ever in love with him. On the other hand, Fang from FFXIII turned me gay.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: 

Kuja, I think? As much as I will maintain that he is the objective best FF villain until the day I die, and as much as that outfit is IC for him, it’s still, uh. Not good. It’s not even that it’s too feminine, it’s just fucking ugly, lmao. Doesn’t make for a great first impression. But god fucking damn, he is very, very good. Maybe at some point I’ll whip up a meta about him, but I’m not sure what to say that hasn’t been covered already.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: 

Sephiroth. He’s got a cool design, a great theme song (those chosen by the planet, not one winged angel), and a phenomenally intimidating presence. But the thing is, as far as FF7 itself is concerned, he’s barely a character. He’s long dead by the time of the game and exists only as an echo of the past and a manifestation of Cloud’s psychological problems. By the end, he’s more Jenova (who herself is more a force of nature than a character) than himself imo. He works because of what he represents, and the mystery surrounding him, not because of who he is. Hailing him as the “best FF villain” misses the point. I feel like Squeenix themselves don’t get what was great about Sephiroth, since we keep getting these immensely fucking bland villains like Vayne, Caius, and Ardyn that are clearly trying to recapture the Sephiroth magic by focusing on the cool factor or the relationship with the protag or whatever when none of that is why Sephiroth worked in FF7 to begin with.

The character I love that everyone else hates: 

Vanille. Yeah the English voice direction was awful, yeah the noises she makes when riding her eidolon are immensely fucking uncomfortable, but she’s actually a really interesting character who deserved more time to shine, and I maintain that she should have been the protag of FF13 rather than Pink Squall. Since she has like, y’know, a much more direct hand in the entire plot of the goddamn game.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: 

uuuuuuuhhh I really don’t know. Maybe Kain. I used to think he was the shit but now I’m just like “haha, mr. friendzone at it again.” Or maybe Cloud, thanks to Advent Children taking a steaming dump on his personality in the name of fanservice.

The character I would totally smooch: 

FANG. SHE IS SO FUCKING HOT GOOD LORD I’M GAY. Also Rydia. Uh, adult Rydia, that is.

The character I’d want to be like: 

Fang is pretty goals, but she’s a bit more butch than I personally see myself, haha. Maybe Celes, sans heterosexuality and poor taste in dudes. She’s very cool, strong, and sexy.

The character I’d slap: 

Squall I guess? Cheer Up Emo Kid!

A pairing that I love: 

Kuja/Terra! I’d toyed with the idea before thanks to Dissidia 012, but NT sold me forever. There are a lot of reasons these two work so well, the most important being that their interactions are absolutely fucking precious. The reason he freed her from Kefka’s control in the first place, apart from wanting to stick it to the asshole clown, was because he empathized with her, but when she thanked him later he downplayed the hell out of it. Terra genuinely tries to reach out to him, and he’s receptive, but aloof, and acts so theatrical about it (”If that is what Her Highness wishes.”) It’s… cute? Like, they’re both pretty damn emotionally stunted due to their, uh, irregular upbringings, and there’s so much potential there! *slams fists on table* GIVE ME MORE

A pairing that I despise: 

Come to think of it, I don’t think I have a single genuine notp in the entire Final Fantasy franchise. Even ships I don’t really care for, like Cecil/Rosa, Locke/Celes or Wakka/Lulu, I wouldn’t say I hate them, just think they’re lame and poorly written. I guess Kuja/Zidane? Yeah, yeah, I know, rich as fuck coming from me, but I just don’t like them romantically at all. The most important reason being that they’re ugly as sin together.

and now, the bravely default hot takes nobody asked for but that I will rant about at literally any given opportunity.

The first character I first fell in love with: 

EDEA!!! I love her SO MUCH! She’s an adorable, precious ENTJ child who’s so headstrong, but naive, and so endearing. Her design (in the first game–blue is not her color) is great, and she has some of the best class outfit designs as well. She’s also the main melee bulk of the party, which I find immensely refreshing in a franchise where the girls are usually mages or rogues. 

Her character arc is pretty basic, sure, but it works. For starters, she’s the best handled rebellious princess I’ve seen, in that she just flat out turns on Eternia–everything she’s ever known–with scarcely a second thought. Not because she feels trapped by the burdens of being royalty or whatever, she’s just stubborn and willful and has an iron sense of right and wrong that she’s willing to fight for above all else. Which, I mean, yeah, evil empire, but it’s not that simple. Which is why her arc is about reconciling with the fact that it isn’t all black and white, and embracing her role as eventual queen of Eternia. 

The writing is pretty hamfisted, what with her literally calling things “black and white,” but she’s 15, so I’ll give it a pass. Yeah, I know the American version aged her up to make the fanservice shit less gross, but it doesn’t really work when her character is about overcoming her childish worldview, lol. Like, she’s a babbu. You can’t just change a number and make her less babbu. Her theme song is literally called “Baby Bird.” Maybe just don’t fucking sexualize characters who are meant to be read as childish in the first place? She deserved so much better than the writing she got in Bravely Second, which I’ll… get to later, but she was still an absolute delight. Did I mention she’s also hilarious? “Oops, my foot slipped.” “You just DROPKICKED ME!”

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: 

Yew. I mean, I don’t love him as much as Edea, but Bravely Second was kind of a hot mess, if fun, and his arc pleasantly surprised me. He kind of had a similar arc as Edea in the first game, but in the opposite direction. Over the course of the game he gradually overcame his rich, upper class nerd privilege worldview and became Woke ™, and then used his privilege to help people. By contrast, Edea still had to go through the journey of getting past her simplistic worldview, but whereas she was quick to recognize the fact that her world was wrong and had to learn not to see things in extremes, Yew had to work to claw his way outside of that box in the first place. The plot twist about his brother was obvious as hell but like, whatever, it was fun. His mask didn’t even cover that much of his face, how did he not know,

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: 

Tiz. He’s boring, not much else to say there. Except, his design in Bravely Second had me excited as hell because he looks so emo and ow the edge and I was really excited to see what they were gonna do with him, but his personality is… exactly the same as the first game? Why bring him back at all? For that matter, why kill him off in the first place? I know they were going for some meta shit, but like… why?

The character I love that everyone else hates: 

Airy, but idk if that counts because I love her for precisely the reasons everyone else hates her. Even if I think the good end should have been obtained by seeing through her ruse and blowing up the crystals rather than just going along with what she says and repeating the same fucking sequence of bosses over and over…

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: 

Ringabel. Mainly for shipping reasons and because I’m increasingly exhausted with the whole chivalrous pervert trope, especially when Edea was very much underage in the first game, lmao. He’s a good character objectively speaking, but a lot of his potential wasn’t capitalized on and I still don’t get how Alternis did a complete 180 from his brooding initial personality, to… that. Or why there were AU Ringabels in the ending sequence of the first game when I thought the whole point was that he was a spanner in the works who shouldn’t have been part of the party in the first place, and that’s how they managed to foil Airy? Or, it should have been, if they didn’t literally just go along with what she said until the end despite his very clear warnings that she was up to some shady shit. The final stretch of Bravely was a fucking trainwreck, nothing new there.

The character I would totally smooch: 

Edea. But like, a forehead smooch, because she’s a babbu. Though she is 18 for real this time in Second, isn’t she? And she’s matured considerably by then too… hrm.

The character I’d want to be like: 

Edea post-character development. She’s got her shit together, and she’s still strong-willed, outgoing, and adorable as all hecke.

The character I’d slap: 

Yulyana. Fuck the quirky pervert trope, seriously. It’s not funny, it’s never been funny, and it never will be funny.

A pairing that I love: 

Well, Agnes/Olivia is the only pairing that I straightforwardly ship, and I’ll never not be mad that they just, like. Forgot about Olivia in the final stretch of the game. Like they really just killed her off for shock value, huh? Okay Sure.

I like Edea/Alternis a lot too, but it’s complicated. Reading through D’s Journal during a blind playthrough left way more of an impact on me than Ringabel’s dumb flirting, but they definitely have a lot of shit to work through before they get together. They obviously both genuinely care about each other, though Edea’s got other shit on her plate to worry about rather than Alternis being a lovelorn, emo weirdo. But like, he’s not only so emotionally distant from her despite his feelings that she doesn’t even know what his face looks like, but he’s got a weird possessive streak towards her? It might be a translation thing but the phrasing “I would have taken you as my wife” is a bit. Iffy. Especially considering a. the age gap and b. she outranks him. Of course she’s having none of this shit, but I do like the idea of them both maturing, actually bonding like human beings, and getting together when they’re older, ie: when Edea is queen and Alternis has learned to accept his fate as a permabottom. Childhood friend loyalty kink is my passion, and like, while Edea is very much a take charge no nonsense lady, she struggles with personal relationships and emotions. They both do, and that’s why their relationship is so complicated and interesting. I’d love to read slowburn of them.

A pairing that I despise: 

Rindea. But wait, you say! Didn’t you just write a whole paragraph on how you like Altdea? Well, yes. I do stand by that, and I enjoy the ship because of its problems rather than in spite of them. Rindea is. Not that. While Altdea is  a flawed relationship that I’d love to see mature into something functional along with the characters themselves, Rindea is a disgustingly written trainwreck that shits on all that potential, as well as Edea’s entire fucking character, constantly.

I don’t hate the very idea of these two as an item. The problem is how badly said item is written. Even though Rindea has the same problematic base as Altdea, which is treated as flawed, it just completely fucking glosses over all of that, everything that actually makes their relationship interesting, in favor of generic hetero pervy slap slap kiss tsundere bullshit. Yes, Ringabel’s feelings for her run deeper than that, but that’s basically all that their dynamic, their actual interactions, amount to. And for some reason she’s into it? Like, I’m sorry, but fucking when and why did she develop feelings for him? Was it before or after she learned about his true identity? Is it because he’s Alternis or in spite of it? Hell, how did she feel about that revelation in the first place? All of that is very much worth addressing, but they LITERALLY NEVER DO.

Did she just secretly like his annoying flirting all along because no obviously means yes? Like, Ringabel still fucking carries all the baggage associated with being Alternis but the game doesn’t give a fuck! It’s overbearing and weird when Alternis comes onto Edea, but when Ringabel does it it’s peak romance! He loves her so it’s okay! And we don’t know anything about Edea’s feelings for him because the game just never fucking goes into it! It’s just assumed that she must like him back! Hey, here’s a thought! Maybe if Ringabel actually loves her so much he could respect her feelings and lay the fuck off! Oh wait, no means yes, right. And don’t even get me started on Bravely Second, jesus fucking christ. You seriously mean to tell me that, according to Yoko, my girl’s only personal damage is being tfw no bf? Nothing about the stress of ruling a nation or any of her other relationships? Nothing even about how her feelings for Ringabel might actually be more fucking complicated than dokidoki take me with you ringabel kun? Absolutely Fucking Disgusting.

Listen. I like problematic ships, but Rindea is just fucking bad, and it’s made worse by the fact that canon thinks it’s good. At this point they’ve missed so many opportunities to actually expand meaningfully on Edea’s side of the relationship that it’s a lost fucking cause and I want it to die in a fire. Good lord I hate this ship and it’s exhausting being an Edea main when it’s the entire fandom’s OTP. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

I ranted more about this ship as well as the other canon Bravely ships in this post and will probably do so again when presented the opportunity.

[thekazumakuwabara]

Just out of curiosity, but what about Kuwabara and Mukuro?

[ Send me a ship and I’ll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it: Any Kuwabara Ship Edition ]

I am trying not to laugh, because last month, half as a joke and half seriously, I wrote a thing with them. It’s technically part of an ot3, but still. (I was discussing with my friends rarepairs and polyships and my friend randomly suggested an OT3 with Mukuro and Kazuma in it. Of course, we laughed, but then I stumbled upon something while looking at Japanese twitter and then an idea bit me in the ass without me wanting to, and well, here we are. XD)

On one hand, for me to try to understand them, at first she might be a bit confused or she might actually…underestimate him. Until she did he research on him. Highly powerful, skilled human fighter. Powerful psychic abilities. The one who ended up being the one who helped breached the barrier and set into motion the current state of affairs of all the three worlds. 

And then, of course, she has to reconcile that in juxtaposition to the kind of character (like moral and such) and personality he has. He has had hints of training (hello Kurama) but he’s definitely new and unrefined at it all, in comparison to someone like herself, but… there’s something about him. It may not be a romantic attraction right away but she’d still want to keep tabs regardless. She does like knowing her opponents after all.

It would be fascinating to read, that’s for sure, hahahaha.

And because I actually still enjoy the bits I wrote for it, you can read some now, XD. It’s somewhat lengthy so I put the story under the cut.

Pretty sure you can guess what the ot3 is once you read it (or if you read tags lmao).

These bits don’t follow sequentially, just a heads up. You’ll see what I mean.

The view outside of Mukuro’s fortress is only memorable because of its location: in the Demon World. It’s as rocky and hilly as any other place Kazuma is from and there’s nothing extraordinary about it, other than the vast, sprawling forests and the purple skies.

The occasional winds that blow past Kazuma’s face do nothing to clear the thoughts inside. There’s a faint odor that wafts up into his nose but it clears out as fast as it comes. There’s something familiar in it but what that is, Kazuma can’t pin it down.

Footsteps echo behind him but stop before it can get any closer.

He doesn’t react to his companion, the woman who owns all this…splendor.

Nothing but the wind whistles between them for a while and Kazuma wonders what Mukuro has on her mind. For all that he knows of her, he can’t imagine she would have any pressing thoughts now. She’s a lot like Shizuru that way – dealing with the issues that come when it happens and making quick decisions on what to do after having a full assessment. Now, Kazuma just relies on his gut tempered with intelligence these days.

He doesn’t turn to look at her.

“Why are you afraid of it?” She asks, clear.

There’s a twist in her voice that Kazuma can’t understand but he really doesn’t want to.

Her voice returns, with an edge, perhaps, wanting Kazuma to answer. “Afraid of the darkness. You clearly are no stranger to it; too well acquainted with it.”

His mouth presses hard, containing in himself the kind of heat that boils in his belly that he refuses to release.

“Your exploits into our world are well known – and really, we have you to thank for the breach allowing us the freedom between worlds. You think I wouldn’t have done my research on you?”

Kazuma is met with her knowing smirk on her face and he’s struck with how much she reminds him of Hiei and his sister at the same time. The urge to laugh is real if his eyes weren’t as wide as plates.

Her hand barely presses into his shoulder. It is more like her hand is hovering but still connected to him, somehow, feels like the suction of a vacuum drawing something out of him. Her eyes dance with some kind of revelation, the line of her mouth soft yet intimidating. Maybe it’s the curve of her lips, not sharp, but enough of a bite to it to set Kazuma on edge.

He just watches, as her palm moves from the top of his shoulder to the base of his neck. His pulse is racing but steady, remembering some of Kurama’s long forgotten techniques he taught him for his very first tournament.

“I see why he chose you,” Mukuro simply states and it’s the penetrative power of her good eye that makes Kazuma want to fall to his knees. It’s like she’s seen through his mind but he knows that’s not true.

Her fingertips spread out and touch the bottoms of his ears, the nape of his hair. He swallows but stands his ground, not too rigid but not inattentive. Despite the power she holds in her hands (in her entire body, really) his gut doesn’t scream out at him. He is her guest but more than that… There’s more there, behind the piercing gaze. Part curiosity but–

Amusement? Pride? Maybe even…

She takes a long, deep breath and her eyes start to close. Her face relaxes, and that look, while stunningly beautiful amidst the ugly scars given to her, makes the hair on Kazuma’s body rise and he breaks himself from her grasp.

Alarm runs through his veins but he doesn’t brandish his sword, not yet.

“What–what was that?” He asks, forcing his arms to stay down.

Her hand is still in the air from where it was connected to Kazuma’s body. Her eyes open, unfocused until she blinks, opening and closing her fist. Then, her arm falls, mirroring his stance.

“You really do not know, do you?” She says. The astonishment in her voice shocks him out of his defensive mindset. Kazuma, truly, doesn’t understand.

The question is on his tongue but he doesn’t want to say it. Fears what the answer may be.

But, a man doesn’t hide from the truth and a man certainly doesn’t run away when fear wants to take control.

No, a man takes fear into its place and faces to meet the truth head on, regardless of the consequences.

Mukuro looks at her palm, as if reading, perhaps, remembering something as her fingers move. Her eyes meet his own, her mouth parted just a crack, though she may not realize it is open. She drops her arm and her gaze changes.

“Your energy,” she begins, shaking her head in correction, “No, your entire being… It’s unlike anything I’ve experienced.”

Kazuma swallows again, reminded that this woman, no, this demon has eaten humans before. Maybe not in recent years but could probably remember the taste of flesh. He feels like he could be consumed at this very moment and he would be powerless to stop it.

“You’re strong, and the beat of darkness has touched you, but it’s wrapped so tightly it cannot escape, take control. Your energy radiates this strength, but also a peace I have only known once.”

Kazuma blinks, surprise in his eyes. The look she gives him is as if she could grab a hold of him and take whatever is inside but can’t. And Kazuma doesn’t understand how he, just a human, could have something she covets so much, especially having lived for thousands of years. She has power, respect, her autonomy, a place to live freely. He cannot truly understand and why that has anything to do with Hiei.

“Do you know how rare that is?” Mukuro asks him.

No, he thinks, in the shaking of his head. What does being a good person have to do with rarity? Good people exist with power. Unless she meant being himself, being self-assured in who he is. That may be rarer but still not priceless like a fabled entity.

She steps toward him with a hand extended. Kazuma steps back, his eyes darting between her palm and her face.

She stops, and asks again, softer than he has ever heard her speak, “May I?”

He hasn’t taken his eye off her hand. “Do what?”

Mukuro’s palm lays flat, all the lines and creases staring at him, revealing she has nothing in it that will harm him. “If you let me,” she begins again, “I will show you.”

Kazuma takes one step forward. Not close, but enough that the tips of her fingers could touch his chest.

“Show me what?” He says, his question heavy with the decision that will change everything.

Both arms rise and her hands are parallel to his chest.

Her answer is simple.

She only states, “Everything.”

Kazuma raises an eyebrow, disbelief written on his face. His body feels a heavy pull as if he wants to finish the connection, but everything in his being is yelling at him to not leap head first.

“Everything?”

She repeats herself. “Everything.”

Her palms are angled, almost as if she were willing to embrace him.

“Only if you step forward,” she clarifies for him. “Step forward and I will show you.”

No matter what his beating heart says, thumping madly and hard in his ears, louder than his thoughts, no matter what his gut says, asking for caution, Kazuma knows the only way out is through, and the only way to get the truth is to seek it.

And he always takes it.

If you liked what you read, let me know! 

If you want to read my other fandom works or my non-Kuwabara YYH writing, you can go here. If you want to check out my Kuwabara-centric written works, you can look at it here. If you’re feeling extra generous, you can consider supporting me through ko-fi. (Each ko-fi is the amount of a small cup of coffee.) 

[alsolfu]

untitled quarantine Lorenz/Byleth fic

So I began a Byleth/Lorenz fic last year to cope with quarantine. I don't know if I'll post all of it, but I wanted to share the first part.

The basic premise: Lorenz and Byleth break up around the time quarantining becomes necessary and are stuck living together until their lease ends, forced to face their issues. Will they reconcile by the time they're vaccinated or will it not work out?

There's angst, drama, romance, and a little bit of dumb humor throughout. As well as bits of smut, but you won't be finding any of that in this part.

Anyway! Please enjoy. :)

Lorenz hadn’t wanted to do it. But her face. Byleth’s beautiful face when they’d eaten breakfast together that morning-- it had sealed his fate. Being the third time they’d signed this particular lease agreement, he hadn’t read through each page or paid attention to the new stipulations.

He hadn’t read it because he hadn’t wanted to sign it. He hadn’t wanted to sign it because he’d found the perfect place. A brownstone in downtown Fhirdiad. Twice as big as their current house for triple the rent. With a spectacular view.

Just not one so spectacular he couldn’t be immediately and wholly dissuaded by a sleepy morning smile from the love of his life. So he’d signed the renewal and dismissed the brownstone. It wasn’t going to mend the fractures, but he’d felt it was a start in the right direction. He felt hopeful.

That turned out to be another issue. Feeling. Lorenz felt everything. The pleasant pinch in his chest at her laughter, the almost-jaded shock during her vulgar moments, the delight when she looked at him-- the way she looked at him sometimes.

But even the act of feeling was another fracture he couldn’t fix. It was impossible. While Lorenz felt everything, Byleth felt nothing. He could never influence that; he couldn’t believe he’d ever tried.

#

His wardrobe was a spectrum of purple hues, and his suitcase was an ugly clashing shade of yellow. Byleth had bought it for him the single time they’d visited the Alliance together. Unprecedented, both the trip itself and the way he and his father had so enormously disappointed each other. His father, normally a reasonable fellow, thought Byleth unworthy. Lorenz, offended but unsurprised, thought his father a short-sighted buffoon.

The idea of returning home, broken hearted and wearied, made Lorenz feel absolutely ill. His father will undoubtedly congratulate him. Dreadful. He couldn’t bear it.

“As my mind clings to desperate thoughts,” he murmured, catching himself before saying more. Emotional as he was, this wasn’t the time for poetry.

Making one last quick, cursory round of their--no, just hers now--bedroom, he picked up the last piece of himself and put it in the suitcase. The rest of his clothes and belongings he’d return for later. When he wasn’t so furious. When Byleth wasn’t standing in the doorway watching him.

“Do you need a ride?” she asked.

Lorenz closed up the ugly yellow suitcase, long fingers lingering over the sticker Byleth had slapped onto its hard, tacky surface.

“Applying a garish decal to an already unsightly piece of luggage?” He pursed his lips at the sight, his eyes tracing the Alliance’s crest, surrounded by the words ‘Leicester Alliance Founding Day’ with distaste. “I see no point.”

Byleth laughed. “I like yellow. Besides…” She lifted onto the tips of her toes, one hand gently meeting his jaw. “It’ll remind you of today.”

That didn’t satisfy Lorenz. “Being escorted out of the Gloucester estate for insulting my father isn’t a memory I wish to hold close.”

She kissed him rather than attempt to placate further, and Lorenz melted with the same ferocity he’d had the first time she’d let him this close. It was punctuation, marking the best moments in his life. It worked to settle him more than any platitude. He’d been brutally honest with his father on Founding Day that year, and she was marking it down for him.

He wouldn’t need a silly little sticker to remember this. Not when her warmth overpowered all else. Not when she’d kissed him for so long outside their gate, they nearly missed their flight back to Fhirdiad.

Lorenz steeled himself, one hand taking the handle of his suitcase while the other lifted to brush away loose strands of hair getting into his face. “Claude is on his way now.”

Byleth nodded.

Lorenz felt the usual push, the inclination to explain why Claude was in town, but Byleth didn’t ask. She nodded and left him alone in their--hers now, it’s just her--bedroom. She left him standing there as readily as she’d accepted it when he’d announced he was leaving her.

“To find warmth where there’s none,” he spoke quietly, sending one last look around what had once been his safest, most intimate space. “I’m left adrift--” He caught himself again, gritting his teeth.

To hell with it.

#

Lorenz H. Gloucester: I’ll be on the stoop. Hurry up.

Claude: she really kickin you out?

Lorenz H. Gloucester: Leaving was my decision.

Claude: lmao omw bb We’ll get ice cream Talk about our feelings

Lorenz H. Gloucester: I don’t have the patience for this, Claude.

Claude: Ouch ok we’ll get a drink instead

Lorenz H. Gloucester: The only thing I want to get right now is as far away from this nightmare as possible.

Claude: Ya just let it out buddy

In that moment, standing on the stoop in the crisp, wintry air, Lorenz realized it was Hilda he should’ve called for support.

---

Byleth didn’t want to move out. She loved this place. She’d seen the look on Lorenz’s face that morning two months prior and suggested they sign the renewal before he could announce anything idiotic. She knew that look. They weren’t ready to settle down somewhere. Not yet. He had to understand it wouldn’t fix anything.

He’d found a new place--likely something they couldn’t afford while maintaining his expensive taste in clothing--and she’d been briefly taken by the look on his face as he’d itched to announce it. She hadn’t let him. She’d gotten him to sign the agreement instead. Despite the tense air, arguments, and avoidance, they’d silently agreed to give it another year.

Another shot.

He’d kissed her that morning, and she’d thought about it for days afterward, fingertips tracing her lips and pressing them against the front of her teeth. She was in love with this guy, and she was a fool for it.

The only person Lorenz loved was himself, but he’d truly gotten her to believe she was, for a time, the exception.

#

The second the front door closed behind Lorenz, Byleth felt the weight of everything slump heavily onto her shoulders. She stared at the door, thought about going after him, then thought to lock the bolt mechanism for good measure.

Instead, she sank, lowering herself onto the out-of-place chaise lounge she’d bought Lorenz two birthdays ago. To add class, he’d said. Byleth thought he just needed a cute place for his personal drama. A place to faint attractively. She scanned the deep purple upholstery, recalling his soft sighs against her temple as she’d worked him into a weak, overstimulated mess to break in the new lounge the day she’d surprised him with it.

Coming to an abrupt stand, she covered her face with her hands and sighed. The weight grew heavier, tighter in her chest. It constricted at her throat. She forced down the feeling with a hard swallow. She couldn’t cry. Lorenz had made this decision for himself. He was selfish and self-centered and saw nothing else.

She wouldn’t let it affect her.

Fingers peeling over her cheeks, she sighed again. A honk from a car outside held her in place. Claude already? Was Lorenz giving him a cutting remark for the noise? Was he loading that yellow suitcase into the back now?

Byleth’s stomach lurched.

She bypassed the window--if she checked, she’d go after him--and trailed down the hallway to the home office. Best to fend off the longing. She knew the feeling. It crept up, increasing the pace of her heart. It held her tighter than the discomfort. She was suddenly suffocating.

The window in the office was obfuscated by a weeping fig that shed leaves at a speed Byleth found almost sinister. Dried leaves crunched under her slippers. More fell when she pushed aside some of the brush to look down onto the street.

The lean, lavender shades of her former boyfriend climbed into a car she didn’t recognize. She couldn’t see Claude. She didn’t care.

Her breath fogged the glass. Her vision blurred. Everything suddenly felt hot and wet and heavy. Unpleasantly so. She wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. She had to do it two more times before it actually worked to quell her emotions. No tears came. She was going to make sure they never did.

#

There were less students in the club today than Byleth had ever seen. Or rather, not seen? She’d considered the possibility of losing a few. Outbreaks of an unknown disease in the Empire killed many and frightened even more. When the news of it had first reached her three weeks prior, her mind had been… elsewhere.

The toughest decisions are the right ones you never wish you have to make.

Byleth winced at the thought. Just as Felix Fraldarious leaned into her open doorway.

He brushed hair out of his face. “Bad time?”

Her expression slowly eased. “What do you need?”

Felix stared at her.

She stared back.

“If you start crying, I’m calling Bernadetta.”

Byleth sighed. “I won’t.”

He pushed off the doorway and stepped into the room. “You said that last time.”

Last time, her boyfriend of the last decade had announced he didn’t want to be with her anymore. Byleth was stuck in a game of phone call tag with someone from the bank to disentangle her finances from Lorenz’s, and the one person she usually relied on to always keep her on track was hung up on a woman he brought up at any given chance. It was almost enough to make Byleth angry, but she couldn’t dredge up much of anything.

“Don’t use me as an excuse to call Bernie.” Byleth rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms. She was going to have a migraine in record time.

Felix rested his forearms on the back of her guest chair, sending a pointed look her way over the cluttered desk. “Only two students today.”

Byleth shrugged, blinking through her spotty vision as it cleared. “Specialized attention, then?”

“Odd number. They fought, I watched.”

“I don’t believe you.”

There was no way Felix Fraldarious stood in a training space without participating in at least one fight. He probably fought them both. She’d bet the entire club--don’t jinx yourself, By--that one or both of the students were lingering by the entrance now, waiting to catch Felix on his way out.

He made himself comfortable, adjusting an arm to rest his chin on a palm. Yep. He was hiding.

Byleth shuffled through a few papers on her desk, focusing on nothing. “We need to buy another camera.”

Felix grimaced but got over it quickly. “Going online?”

“Completely, for now.” She couldn’t tell him today would be the last day he’d teach anyone in person until further notice. She’d save that bit for last. Give him something to chew over on his way home.

“Heard anything from Garreg Mach?” he asked, extending the linger.

Both students were waiting, then.

Byleth let her thoughts stay there, amused at his hidden discomfort, rather than process the question. She couldn’t deal with Garreg Mach or its inhabitants when she was already overwhelmed. She had to fully convert her contact-sport-based business online. Somehow. A pandemic encroached, the future of their club was a hazy question mark in her mind, and her unbelievably selfish ex-boyfriend was out of her house.

Another realization struck her, eliciting the nth sigh of the day. The rent was too much for her to cover alone. How had that escaped her?

Felix cleared his throat when she began to furiously type at her computer. She paused, remembered herself, and looked at her business partner carefully.

“Are you busy this weekend?”

[mimosajones-blog]

The Cheat: What was the point Jones?

Hello all of you beautiful people! I know I said that I’d post yesterday, but by now ya’ll should know I have a tendency to lie when it comes to saying which day I will be posting, lol. This is why I said before that I’d stop saying when imma post, so eventually imma hold true to that and stop getting people’s hopes up (I know I ain’t shit yall. I promise one day I will be though, lmao).

Anyway, for all of you who made it this far in The Cheat, I want to first thank you for staying tuned for my story. I’ve never really talked in detail about my experience with Dallas to anyone other than close friends (even they don’t know some of the details), so it was good for me to be able to get that all out. My inspiration to tell that story came from watching the Hurt Bae video that went viral in February. A lot of people had opinions about it, and OF COURSE, ya’ll know I had an opinion about it, but I didn’t wanna just put my opinion out there without giving you the reason why I feel how I feel about it. So since you know my story, I can tell you my opinion. Heeeeere we go...

First off, when I saw the video, I commended both of them for actually sitting down and having a conversation about it. I feel that not enough people do that. It’s like someone does us wrong, and we think the best way to handle the situation is to never talk to them again. In some situations, like domestic abuse or rape, it is definitely best. Leave that asshole (male or female) and never look back!! However, in situations where someone has cheated or said/done something to you that you can never forgive, you NEED to talk it out (or at least try). I say this because if you really care about the person as you say you do, you’d never want them to stay that way and hurt someone else just the same. I know I didn’t want that for Dallas. My heart is big as shit so I just can’t stand to see people I love doing dumb shit. You should also just want the closure for yourself. There are so many people I know who are bitter and broken because they never had closure at the end of a relationship. Don’t punish yourself for someone else’s wrongdoings. Although, sometimes talking it out doesn’t work, no one can EVER tell you that you didn’t give your all for the person you love if you wholeheartedly gave your 100%. & whether they sincerely apologize or not, if you talk it out, your closer will come because you’ll either

A. know that the person you loved really was in there all along and that there’s hope that one day they’ll be true to themselves and to others (others doesn’t have to be you though. Let’s keep that clear)

or

B. know they really all around aint shit, lied about who they were the entire time, and you can move on knowing you aren’t missing out on shit (which you can do anyway, but now you have a mental picture and additional proof of aint shitness to look back on when you question whether or not you should have given him another chance cause let’s be real we ALL have that thought when it comes to significant others that we were with for long periods of time. It’s stupid, but we do. We’re all human and wonder “what if”)

That’s why even after what Dallas did to me, I stood by him as a friend because I knew he wasn’t a terrible person. Anyone that had ever met him would say the same thing. He cared about people and really showed love as much as he could, so finding out that he was doing what he was doing hurt and confused me at the same time. I wanted him to be his true self and if I didn’t hold him accountable for his actions, he was just gonna keep doing the same shit cause clearly none of the hoes he was fucking with had morals and would hold him accountable (except Ebony of course).

Because I knew that he was not that person he was trying to be, I knew that showing him what he did to me would break his heart. No one ever likes to see the damage they’ve caused. It’s all fun and games while they’re doing it but when shit hits the fan, they try to speak no evil, see no evil, hear no evil real quick. I tried at first to just show him through words. I tried to articulate my feelings, and he knew that he had hurt me, but I wasn’t showing him my pain, I was just telling him about it. We are taught at a young age not to show emotion because it’s a sign of weakness, but I’m calling bullshit on that one. Why wouldn’t I show you what you’ve done to me? That would be letting you off freely as I bare the burden of my pain that YOU caused. No, I want you to see my pain. I want you to see the trust issues that you caused. The tears that stain my cheeks on a daily basis. The broken pieces of my heart that YOU decided would be better scattered across the floor rather than tucked away neatly in the safe that I, against my better judgement, opened just for you. Look at the emptiness you’ve caused by juggling it with countless other hearts of females who fell for you instead of just giving it back in one piece like you should have. It’s kinda like when people train their puppies not to shit in the house by sticking their nose in the shit so they know what they’ve done wrong. Not trying to say he’s a puppy, but just using it as an example. If we don’t show people the damage they’ve done, they’ll just assume it wasn’t that bad and you’ll bounce back, but some people don’t and that’s the point. You can’t play catch with someone else’s expensive glass vase, shatter it into a million pieces, and just walk off like “eh, they can clean it up. I’m going to get pizza”. Start having these hurt bae conversations. So what if they see you cry, that’s what they caused right?? Make them feel uncomfortable and ashamed. They should. I made Dallas come face to face with the aftermath of his decisions and in the end, he wanted to be better, not for me, but for himself and that’s everything I wanted for my best friend.

I also saw a lot of people saying that the guy in the hurt bae video seemed like he didn’t care. He may not have. That’s a possibility, but he also could’ve just been taught that men don’t show emotions. I say that because that’s exactly how Dallas was. In our entire 7 years, I had never seen that man. Not until after we broke up: the night we fought and months later after we reconciled when he had a death in his family and I was there for him. We had a discussion about why he always seemed so nonchalant and he admitted to me that’s just how he was raised. He was told men don’t show emotion, and he had never seen his dad show emotion, so that’s how he felt he had to be. Now I’m not saying a man should be crying every two damn seconds cause that’s just the fucking most. I don’t even like dealing with females who cry that much, but I do feel it’s unfair that we put men in this box and that they feel like they have to conceal all emotion just to be manly. I feel like the manliest thing a man can do is show me his emotion. It shows me that he’s comfortable with himself as well as with me. I want to be the shoulder that my man feels comfortable enough to cry on, whether he’s actually dropping tears or just being honest about how he feels.

Lastly, I don’t want ya’ll to think I’m making excuses for anyone or trying to victimize the people who cheat. Cheating is foul and anyone who does it is a piece of shit (that’s for my friends who do it to. With your aint shit ass. I still love you, just know you aint shit). There’s literally no point in dragging someone you claim you love through the mud just so you can get a quick nut. You couldn’t come up with a point if you tried. If you want to sleep around, live your damn life, but don’t fuck up someone else’s life because you’re selfish and feel like your needs are more important than others. BE FUCKING SINGLE IF YOU WANNA FUCK AROUND. To be real, you need to find a damn hobby or something cause if you’re cheating, you CLEARLY have WAYYYY too much time on your hands. Try knitting... or golf... nahhh, not golf. That shit didn’t stop Tiger, so I’m sure it won’t stop you either. Just get a damn life cause the time it takes you to come up with all of these lies and jump from one bed to the next, you could’ve built a business and could be making money. Get your priorities straight.

And just so we can have some closure on this story cause I’m sure ya’ll are wondering, Dallas and I are still best friends. I can still count on him to have my back in every situation and vice versa. We love each other and we’ll always love each other, but I can’t trust him with my heart again and he understands that. We talk when we can and visit each other during holidays and such, but we’re not obligated to one another. We see other people and have been working on moving on to bigger and better things in life, but I’ll always support him in his endeavors as he does the same for me. When I said he was my best friend, I wasn’t exaggerating. He knows me inside and out, and he’s been there for me through some of the toughest times in my life when I had no one else to lean on. We don’t plan on that ever changing.

Unapologetically,

Jones