#i want to be the breadwinner. it will never happen (<- chose to work at a nonprofit as a career) but i cannot and WILL not rely on a man

[depresseddepot]

rewatching my mister. park dong hoon investigating his wife's affair and becoming more and more panicked and confused is so hard to watch

[luverofralts]

Arkhelios Adventures

Roman went out to fetch the morning paper just like any other Tuesday. The dog absolutely refused to fulfill the stereotype and retrieve the paper for his owners, so that duty fell to Roman. The dog would still accompany him to the porch, but chose to observe only.

Most mornings, Roman fed the kids, read the paper and met up with Adrian at their restaurant if neither of them had other commitments. Business was picking up, or so they hoped as they tried to make sense of their budget and spreadsheets. It wasn't bringing in a lot of money, but anything was better than losing money.

Adrienne stared at the elaborate cake in front of her and sighed. It wasn't uncommon to find baked goods lying on the kitchen counter that could be entered into competitions with their quality.

Luckily for the kids of the household, there was a training day at the school and classes were canceled. As much as Adrienne enjoyed going to the Princess Zarah Academy in Pleasantview, a day off school was a welcome change. Roman had insisted on her attending there despite his history with the school because it really did produce well-educated and connected students. Adrian had gone to Twikkii Island's military academy as a child and had hated every moment of it, so he had no complaints about sending their kids to Pleasantview.

Dad stress bakes, but he's really good at it. Has he not read his cards lately? It's obvious that he needs to let this restaurant dream go and open a bakery instead. Then at least he can earn some money for what he's good at.

Abe gagged as the dog trotted by, reeking of garbage. Clearly, Renard had knocked the garbage bin over again for Abe to pick up. After Abe III was born, Abe cut down on his hours at the scientific lab he worked at and became a part time stay at home dad. Roman's hours varied depending on where he was needed. Abe III's birth had made Roman the primary breadwinner, which meant it was crucial that his restaurant improved. There was no way that Adrian would let the father of his children go bankrupt, but even a duke only had so much money to give away.

"Abe, I'm worried about Dad."

Abe knelt down to be at the same eye level as his stepdaughter. The little girl looked as serious as she always did. Abe could never tell whether Adrienne was sick or worried or angry when the somber little girl wore the same serious expression all the time. It was something that worried Roman, and everyone hoped she'd grow out of it. No child should walk around the world like it was on her tiny shoulders, but Adrienne always seemed to. If she wasn't making cryptic prophecies or staring at her cards for hours, the little girl was chatting with spirits only she could see and giving her father long, sad looks. It was a minor miracle for Adrienne to open up to her parents and Abe wasn't about to fumble this situation. It might never happen again.

"Hey, thanks for coming to me about your worries," he said, giving Adrienne a hug. "You don't need to worry about your dad, we're the grown ups and we're supposed to do the worrying. What's bothering you?"

"He's not fulfilling his destiny," Adrienne reported somberly. "He needs to stop stress baking and make it a proper business. Then he has to go to Pleasantview to see the queen. He needs to know something from her. It's really important."

"Rien, you're turning eleven soon, not thirty-five," Abe said quietly. "You don't have to worry about your dad, it's our job to worry about you and your siblings. I appreciate that you care a lot about your dad and want him to be happy, but he would want you to worry about your own life. Trust me, your father, Evren, and I will take care of your dad. You just focus on finding whatever makes you happy in life. Maybe you could try a new hobby, like painting?"

Adrienne was about to reply when she immediately sensed something in the air change. Someone was teleporting onto the lot. Her eyes widened dramatically and she instantly scurried away from her stepfather to stare out the window.

"Okay, so no on the painting idea then," Abe sighed. "How on earth am I supposed to help this kid when she defies all the parenting books?"

Adrian wouldn't be pleased with Adrienne's constant worry about Roman and their family. He'd already spent hours at the school talking with teachers about his daughter's behavior. Since Princess Zara Royal Academy had supernatural specialties, they all hoped that Adrienne would find her future there, but so far, her concern for her parents and family hadn't eased and she hadn't made any friends who might help her.

Adrienne ran past her father, who was in the middle of jamming a screwdriver into Abe III's toy robot. The thing was a safety hazard, but Roman wasn't convinced that he was making it any safer with his efforts. Buying a new one would be expensive, so he preferred to try and repair it first.

Someone knocked on the front door, jolting Roman from his work. He could see Adrienne peering excitedly out the window. If she was excited, maybe it was Adrian meeting him at the house early or Theo teleporting in to see his parents before school. It didn't happen often, but a father could hope.

Instead of his ex-husband or son, Roman was greeted by Jorah and Cindra Durant at the door.

"Roman! So good to see you," Cindra gushed. "We were just in the area and thought we'd drop by. Thanks so much for the donated baked goods. Jorah raised a lot of money with them for children's programs in both Strangetown and Twikkii Island. Your contribution was very much appreciated by Queen Maura and her lovely children."

"Uh, thanks?"

Roman was soon enveloped in a hug from Cindra. Before he could ask what the two Durants wanted from him, she continued with her confident exclamations.

"Now, you know that Trent and I try to use our platform as prince and duchess to help those in need. We're compensated by and work with the queen and often, her children. So, as a gesture of gratitude for your support with the queen's programs, we've arranged for a representative of the royal Siew family to thank you in person."

"Roman Bellamy, her Highness Princess Georgiana Siew is here to thank you for your generosity," Jorah declared, gesturing to the little girl behind him.

Roman's heart stopped in his chest as he watched the girl before him play with bubbles. She had accidentally swallowed some of the soap, much like Theo and his sisters had done when they were younger.

She did look like Theo up close, just as Adrian had told him. They had the same eyes, there was no denying it. This was his daughter. She was real, tangible and very determined to ignore what the adults around her were saying. She was just as perfect as Roman had always imagined her to be.

"Georgie, honey, remember why we're here?" Cindra prompted. The little girl dropped her bubbles and reluctantly faced Roman with a grudging look.

"Thank you for helping my mommy. Your cakes are really good. I like the ones with sprinkles best."

"You like the ones with sprinkles?" Roman repeated. In all the media he'd scoured over the years, he'd never heard his daughter's voice. It was like hearing any of his other children's first words. Georgiana had a voice and opinions about his work and it was beyond any of Roman's understanding trying to process this all at once. He had simply been trying to get his mail and suddenly his world had been changed.

"Yeah, and the chocolate ones too," Georgiana elaborated. "My brother tries to take them all, but Viola helps me steal some before he comes down for dinner."

"I'm so glad that you enjoy them," Roman replied, still feeling unsure that this wasn't some kind of hallucination. "I can send you more anytime you want. My daughters live in Twikkii Island with their dad sometimes. Maybe you could play together."

"This is such an amazing result," Jorah gushed, watching Roman's depressive gloom lift. "We did a good thing, sis."

"Excuse me? We did nothing. My husband and I talked to Maura’s PR team. I told Ulyssa where she could go with her entitlement and you cowered behind our father."

Jorah's face fell a little, unable to dispute Cindra's words. Still, wholesome family moments were what Jorah lived for, and he refused to let reality damper the satisfaction he felt seeing Roman speak to his daughter for the first time.

"I told you I was sorry," Jorah whispered to avoid Roman overhearing their conversation. "Valerian and I are going to set boundaries for our family. I promised him and I'm not going to break a promise to my husband."

"Yeah, good luck with that," Cindra replied, rolling her eyes. "You set your boundaries while Trent and I request the presence of Maura’s children at the fundraising event that supports children's programs. My plan gets Roman a yearly meet and greet with his child and your plan does what exactly?"

Jorah scowled at his sister, but tried to remain positive. His sister might have better connections than he did, but he'd still tried his best. The important thing was that Roman had met Georgiana and Maura hadn't threatened to burn Arkhelios to the ground as a result. He'd done what he could and hopefully Roman was going to be in a better mental place as a result.

"Okay, Georgie, we have to get going," Cindra announced, looking at her watch. "Your mom expects you back in class in half an hour. Say your goodbyes to Mr. Bellamy, and let's get moving."

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

scc fans: being cool having fun being dedicated sending fanart

yhk fans: tired dumpster rats writing ten page essays on yhk and how it works and WORDS

anyways more propaganda:

REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR YHK (AND NOT BETRAY ME LIKE MY FRIEND (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE /lh)):

1. Reader/Protagonist/Writer dynamic, you literally cannot get more cosmic than that. they could not exist without each other. they need each other.

2. the dedication, devotion, gratitude, affection and love they show to each other. the acts of love they express. the fact that each and every action we keep talking about is CANON.

3. the many different flavours of their dynamics and how natural it is. they are cringefail losers, they look at each other and decide that they are forever stuck together. they are all so annoyed with each other, they all cannot leave each other. HSY IS THE BREADWINNER !!! YJH IS THE HOUSEHOLD HUSBAND !!!! KDJ IS JUST THERE AND THE OTHER TWO ARE JUST REALLY FUCKING HAPPY HES THERE !!!! THEY WOULD PROBABLY LET KDJ DO WHATEVER AS LONG AS HE WAS THERE AND NOT OFF DOING SOME BS SELF SACRIFICIAL PLAN !!!

4. the fact each of them have been so intrinsically affected by each other. none of them would have survived without the other two. all of them have been changed by each other.

5. they WANT each other. if one of them went off without any notice by god the other two will do everything they can to make sure that idiot comes home. it’s esp prevalent with the other two abt kdj. they WANT kdj. they want him safe and happy and WITH THEM. they see kdj trying to hide his flaws and trauma and they go “no. we’ve already seen all of it. we want everything. we want every part of you here and happy.”

6. the amount of trust they have with each other. the trust you would need to let someone go, to trust that they’ll come back and come back with the other idiot. the trust you’d have to have to be able to leave everything to the other, to trust that they are doing everything they can on their end. the trust they have that the others can handle themselves. how can you trust someone so much like this? how can you trust that they will follow through? how can you trust so much that you will wait however long it takes? how can someone even take that?

7. they are precious to each other. yjh needs the other two alive because they defy his expectations in ways he never realized could happen. hsy holds every memory she has of yjh and esp kdj close to her heart. kdj sincerely wishes for the happiness of yjh and hsy, he cares more abt their happiness than his own. (what he doesn’t realize is that their happy end involves his happiness too.) they mean so much to each other

8. they chose each other over the world. over themselves. they would hand over anything and everything to each other if needed.

9. “I realized something just then. I managed to get this far because these two lived on their own terms - respected my decisions in their own ways.

I began thinking; with these two around, maybe not all hope was lost, after all.”

10. they are capable of hitting each other on the head when they are reaching concerning levels of stupid. hsy literally crashes a yjh vs kdj fight just to make sure they wouldn’t actually kill each other. kdj breaks yjh out of his uncaring attitude. yjh and hsy would probably beat up kdj every time he went “hey i’m back” if they weren’t also mildly emotionally every time it’s happened.

11. what if my love language was sacrifice

12. kdj’s inner dialogue repeatedly describing yjh and hsy as attractive?? (some of his inner dialogue is peak pining like bro what are you doing 🤨???)

13. wasn’t there an arc where kdj intended to give hsy a love letter for a scenerio but yjh went “this is so bad” and also didn’t they in the same arc have this short scene where they talk abt novels and hsy wanting to write a novel later and discussing genres and then kdj FOR SOME REASON brings up romance?? and then they try to change the subject to jhw and lhs, like. y’all aren’t slick.

14. the book is literally about love and stories and loving stories and human connections and relationships and how stories facilitate connections. like. knowing that and knowing who yjh, hsy and kdj are. they are literally the pillars of the novel. they are so incredibly important to the story not only as individuals but also as a trio.

vote yhk i beg -Toon

im so sorry ur friend betrayed u 😔 all is fair in love war....

[othramblings]

Can we talk about how drastically different Nathan's and Haley's respective parental and financial situations are during seasons 2-4? Nathan chose to get emancipated. He chose to be on his own. Yet, he always has the option to move back in with his parents. I don't fault Nathan for wanting to live independently from his parents. It was an incredibly toxic environment and wasn't doing him any good. But at the same time, Nathan always has a fallback. Whereas Haley's parents are just gone after (c)

-->she marries Nathan. Haley is forced to figure everything out because Jimmy and Lydia left her 100% on her own. A newly married sixteen year old girl in her first ever relationship. It's just interesting. Even when she comes back from the tour, there's no backup for Haley. Nathan doesn't want to reconcile and their apartment is gone, so she has to figure out other living options and returns to working at the cafe. And also, Nathan doesn't have any sort of job during seasons 3 and 4.Haley is the sole breadwinner as a married, pregnant teenager. And later, Nathan manages to get them into financial trouble yet never tries to look for a job or rectify this is in any way beyond asking his parents for help. Even as they're nearly out of high school and soon to be parents, Nathan still gets to be the kid while Haley is essentially an adult. It just seems so unfair. Even in the adult years, it's only until maybe season 7 where Nathan realizes he has to grow up. Sorry for the rant!

Wow, thank you for your incredible response!! (as always <3) I really just love how you put everything into words. I couldn't agree more! The show lightly touched on the class difference between Haley and Nathan in the earlier seasons, but it played a big role in their characterizations in many ways and should have been explored more. This type of stuff would have been explored on most other shows around that time; however, OTH's showrunner had no interest in exploring Haley's hardships. For example, in season 4, when Whitey tells Haley that Camila made all the sacrifices in their marriage around the same time that Haley was going to have to give up a good school because of Nathan. The show showed us enough to make us wonder if the same was happening to Haley, but it was never explored. Also this will just get me more hate but Joy is at least 5x the actor James is, so for her to get less emotional storytelling compared to him is nuts lol!

[redemptioninchaos]

send    💐    for my muse’s mother to talk about their child. - Aurora's Mom? Or just aurora talking about Thomas.

"My mother, Paula Trullings, was my main inspiration for learning how to cook. My father Glenn had a long bout with cancer when I was a child, so it was up to my mother to acquire income for him, me, and my two brothers. With me being the oldest child, I shared in the responsibility to take care of the family. I never heard my mother once complain about being the sole breadwinner, breadmaker of the family, but I could tell that it devastated her to see her husband suffering. We all eventually took care of my father up until he passed away when I was 20. Once that happened, I spent more time with Mother in the thoroughfares, learning all I could.

"I met my husband while I worked, and after a few shared meals and secrets, Tomas was born. It wasn't easy, as if to say childbirth ever is, but...there were many complications. Tomas was a big child, so I had to get a C-section. The doctors did all they could, but it was a Lathanderian priest who truly made sure both Tomas and I were safe and healthy. From that point on, I made sure to bring Tomas to the temple in Morningstone every week.

"Tomas was always a quiet child, but he was especially reverent during service. It was as if he could tell that Lathander was watching over him in there, and whatever worries plagued an infant, a toddler were washed away. He loved books as a child, particularly ones involving myths and legends of old as well as historical nonfiction. Hated eating his vegetables," she said with a chuckle, "but I managed to sneak them into his meat pies, his favorite meal. He never seemed to mind them then.

"I could go on about Tomas for days, dear, but suffice it to say that as soon as I heard his new moniker, Ajax, I just knew he was my son. Ajax was his favorite mythological hero growing up, and the fact that he chose that name to protect the rest of the family from the shame of becoming a tiefling is one of the many great examples of the type of man he's become. He lives to protect people in both major and minor ways. As for my own mother? Well, I haven't heard from her since the First Invasion. I pray that she, my brothers, and my extended family are safe. I...I doubt they'd want to associate with a somewhat infamous devil constantly within DAIL's crosshairs..."

[kinetic-elaboration]

March 5: Don't Worry Darling

Finally watched Don’t Worry Darling, and you know what, I was pleasantly surprised. I’d had such initial high hopes but then some middling reviews and allllll that drama just really made my expectations deflate, and when I sat down to watch I figured, well, at least it will be pretty. But honestly, I quite enjoyed it.

It was enjoyable to watch, didn’t seem to drag or make me bored, built the creepiness at a pretty steady pace, and had a really great aesthetic: the outfits, the sets, the music, were all so beautiful and just really so precise without any missteps. And I enjoy a beautiful picture.

The story was not exactly something groundbreaking and new, but I have no problem with a classic tale told a new way, or even just in a new setting. Yes, it’s Stepford Wives, yes it has a lot of utopia-turned-dystopia elements that we’ve seen many times, and yes it has that ‘it’s tech!!’ twist that I was semi-spoiled for, but that’s fine. I have low patience for media that I feel is just tropes lazily stitched together but when they’re mixed up in a new way, with actors I like and in a setting that’s beautiful, I’m fine with the classics, remixed.

Also I love Florence Pugh. Never a misstep. Always magnetic to watch.

And I thought, in my biased way, that CPine was very well cast because it’s easy to believe that someone with eyes like the deep end of the pool would become a sort of cult leader. I mean he was very charismatic.

The aspect that I thought was the most interesting, and that will require some thought and/or a rewatch to wrap my thoughts around was the question of whose fantasy was being played out and how. What I was expecting was basically a men-trap-the-women scenario, the women are Stepford Wives, forced to be the subservient helpers, kept from any sort of power or independence like jobs or the ability to drive, and the men are the breadwinners and the head of house etc. etc. And so if it turns out to be fake in some way—and it’s pretty obvious it’s fake and probably fake in a simulation/computer program way, given the types of glitches going on—then it’s a prison created by the men for their own pleasure and egos. And yet it’s not quite that way. First, there’s Bunny, who knew and chose the simulation, and I liked that that was included, because to be honest, I can see how that life would be a fantasy, that you could get things there you couldn’t IRL: beauty, for example, or simplicity. I mean ‘50s housewife’ is a straight up kink real people really have lol. And the whole place does look appealing as its first introduced: that’s the concept of utopia-turned-dystopia. The reason she gives for wanting the illusion hints at something tragic and awful, and it would make sense, if she did lose her children, that she would give up anything to have them again, even her own reality. So even though it was just rather quick at the end, there was a twist to the narrative there.

But more importantly: what male fantasy is this? It was so intriguing to me that the men did not live in Victory. They have complete control over the situation—complete at least as compared to the women—and they exert it in really gross and horrific ways. The intrusion on the body and the mind. Making their partners feel crazy if they get any hint of what’s happening. Taking away every possible choice or bit of bodily autonomy they have. At least Alice was with her real-life partner and didn’t have fake kids. Whose fantasy is it for Peg to be “always pregnant”? And how many of the married couples even KNOW each other IRL? And yet, the men also do no live in Victory full time. They have these pathetic real lives that they obviously hate, so of course they’d want the 50s planned town fantasy. But they only go there in the evening. During the work day they’re somewhere else—outside of the simulation, in the real world—and they’re doing something. They’re “working every day to afford it” and “hating it.” What do they do??? What keeps them in this situation? That the simulation is so great when they are in it? That it’s hard to leave? That they’re indebted in some way? Is the fantasy Victory at all or the idea that they are white knights for their women?

Because that’s a really common male fantasy, too, right? Being the savior of women. Being the problem solver and provider and hero. Alice must be unhappy because she works so hard. Wouldn’t she be happier in this perfect house with nothing to worry about but cooking and cleaning and gossip? Or is that just a story he tells her because HE wants dinner made for him and sex on the dining room table? Is it a story he tells himself, so he can have all of the above: the clean house and subservient wife and also the sacrifice of working for the dream and also the martyr complex that he is really helping her?

None of this is a defense of any of the men, by the way. I’m not saying oh poor guy his ego was crushed by losing his job and having a partner who’s better than him and so he has no choice but to totally strip her of her free will and autonomy. I just thought that it was a deeper exploration of what the injury is to both parties and what the cause of the injury is, what was exploited in the men, than I was expecting.

One thing I didn’t like, and it was largely the only thing, was Shelley killing Frank at the end, because it felt like it was a distraction from the ending, and brought confusion to the story. I don’t mind if stories leave questions unanswered, especially stories like this one that are more about the conceit than about answering all the specifics. But they need to have the confidence to know what they are about. What is the core narrative? That narrative should be resolved and questions pertaining to it should be answered. Everything else should be set aside. So, here, the narrative is Alice’s awakening and escape. We know what HER life is in realty, we know how she comes to learn the truth, and then at the end we have her daring escape. It’s interesting to speculate on, but unimportant to know, things like what happens to the bodies or how exactly the tech works or what was Margaret’s ultimate fate. Similarly, it’s unimportant to know what happens to Victory without Alice. Shelley killing Frank wasn’t necessary for Alice’s escape. He wasn’t chasing her and he wasn’t in control of his goons in any specific way. So killing him got me thinking about all of these other things, and expecting all of these other last minute plot points, that weren’t important to Alice’s story and that were just a distraction at that point: stuff like what happens to the bodies, where is Frank IRL, what is his relationship to Shelley, what does she know and what is her role in the simulation, why does she think he is a stupid man, what is she planning on doing with Victory, how long has she been planning or fantasizing about a takeover, etc., etc., etc.

But ultimately this is a small point. Overall, I didn’t mind, even liked, that many questions were left unanswered, including how exactly the simulation works, what Frank is like in real life, what the men do outside Victory, what promotions mean, how the women are ‘recruited,’ who Shelley really is, how the cracks in the façade happened for Alice, to what extent the hallucinations she experiences are accidents and to what extent they are planned (perhaps as a way to silence or scare her), and what happens to Victory after.

Another thing I’d need a rewatch to get coherent thoughts on is the question of kids: that Alice doesn’t have them but Jack suggests a child at a time when he is afraid that she is learning too much, that Frank mentions kids to Alice, that none of the kids are real, that losing a child is a method of control over Margaret, and so on. I suppose having a simulated child would bring Alice farther into the construct, give her a reason to stop poking around and want to stay—attachment to the child that seems real—and maybe it’s no more deep than that.

I also want to repeatedly watch the conversation with Frank and Alice. Obviously, it’s menacing. A part of me thinks he was just setting her up to watch her fall—encouraging her to make a grand gesture so that he could immediately shut it down and paint her as a lunatic, putting everyone on his side, making them defensive, and priming them to accept it when Alice “goes away for treatment” for her obvious illness. In other words, he never sees her as a threat, because he knows he’s in control of her entire environment, but he wants to hurry along her inevitable fall, and he does it by imbuing her with false confidence. But then another part wonders if some part of what he was saying to her was true—if he does want to be challenged. But to what end? And why from Alice—why not Shelley, who’s obviously not dumb?

Anyway, that's a lot of thoughts. I need to go back to work tomorrow, and I'm not prepared for this week.

[dragon-ball-meta]

It's amazing how the very things some 'fans' dunk on Krillin and Chi-Chi for and wonder why their significant others chose them are the very things that 18 and Goku love about them. I.E his gentleness and good heart and her tough as nails strong willed nature etc.

OK... I have a take on this that may be a tiny bit controversial, but I feel it needs to be said. The reason Krillin and Chi-Chi are dunked on for their personalities, especially in a series where characters with similar ones are loved, is not because of their personalities. ...it’s because they’re not seen as sexy. Both in terms of appearance and personality. No, you didn’t read that wrong and I’m going to explain to you why. Chi-Chi is seen as bitchy, bossy, always trying to have things her way, “forcing Goku to do things he doesn’t want to do” like... get a job or spend some time doing normal family stuff. How awful. The thing is, there’s another character in this series who had similar personality traits dialed up to freakin’ 11. And that character is Bulma. Bulma was always very bossy. She was borderline abusive at times (if you look at that outside the context of comedic overreactions, at least), she would throw a fit over other girls talking to Yamcha and accuse him of cheating, she would demand attention, she would turn on a dime and flirt openly with anyone she found attractive, and even when on a mission to revive her boyfriend whom she had wept over, she... found herself thinking of other men and even trying to throw tail at Zarbon (in her anime depiction at least, but in the manga she was still dazed by his good looks). She was selfish, would slap, kick, punch, scream, etc. But she’s never really considered to be a shrew, or a “bitch”, or what have you because... well... she’s sexy. She shows skin, shows cleavage, flaunts her curves, is fashionable. She’s seen as a sort of “sex symbol” for it rather than in any sort of negative light. And yes, Bulma does change and grow up as the series progresses, but there are still elements of this present in her, and even when she hadn’t? She was still loved by the fandom. And to further illustrate this, not only does Vegeta acknowledge that’s part of what he finds attractive about Bulma, a la Goku with Chi-Chi, but even in the fandom itself, when there are fan works or figures sexualizing or “sexing up” Chi-Chi in the same way as Bulma? They are RIGHT there lining up to drool. The same dudes who say they can’t STAND her will sit there and WISH she would wear that in the show, act like that in the show, etc. They openly bemoan that she stopped wearing the barbarian bikini armor and started dressing more conservatively. And on the flipside, some also bemoan that she, unlike Bulma, is a more traditional housewife, happily. Bulma’s out there running a whole company, y’see, so any of these other women being more traditional wives or mothers? That’s a negative. And since Chi-Chi is the epitome of that, SHE is bad while Bulma is good. (To be clear, there’s a whole other discussion to be had there as to whether some of that is a valid series criticism to some degree, but I’ve seen people take that wayyy too far with Chi-Chi.) They say she was hindering Goku by trying to hold him responsible, they say that she “ruined” Gohan by FORCING him to study instead of fight, and ignore that Gohan himself preferred it. (He’s a SAIYAN, y’see, he HAS to like fighting, it’s in his blood. Chi-Chi just choked it out of him, that’s all!) Ridiculousness of that sort. And on the Krillin front... well.. just look at Gohan. Gohan and Krillin have shockingly similar personalities. They’re both dorks, they both have a corny sense of humor (in a loveable way), they’re both a bit socially awkward with the opposite sex, they both love and dote on their families and adore their daughters, both even get back into martial arts for the sake of their families but put their jobs and roles as family men and breadwinners first and foremost.  But for some reason, you see Gohan with these ridiculous, over-the-top harems and Krillin the victim of NTR by pretty much every character in the entire franchise at this point. Some people actually even ship 18 with Gohan over Krillin because they think the “take-charge dominant woman x nerd” dynamic is better when that’s the same dynamic that exists with her and Krillin. Why? Well... because Gohan is sexy. Gohan is powerful, traditionally handsome, tall and muscular. Krillin is... short. Missing a nose. Comparatively not powerful and not as muscular. His gentleness is seen as weakness, not kindness. He doesn't have his badass moments of beating the snot out of the main villain while glaring and making women swoon and men jealous. Ergo, he is bad. He is a beta male. He is a “cuck”. He doesn’t “deserve” his wife, he doesn’t “deserve” to be anything but a joke. 18 “settled” for him, and thus their relationship is “toxic”. I even once saw someone say that she settled in a series where “the men are ranked by actual, literal numbers (power levels)” and that 18 thus “not only settled, but sank to near the center of the earth” with Krillin. I’ve seen people say that since Toriyama said in interviews outside the series that he partly let Krillin have his dream of getting married because he felt bad for always writing him having bad things happen to him, that their relationship is bad because that also means 18 got with him out of pity or obligation and teaches that “women are rewards” when the manga itself shoots that whole idea down. These are all real takes. Make no mistake, Gohan will sometimes be bashed by those who have toxic ideas of masculinity as well, but he still gets an overall pass because of his cool factor and... well, sex appeal. Even straight dudes find him cool enough to project onto, and others just lust after him. Plus, if push comes to shove, just imagine that Gohan became “badass again” in fanfic land. Much harder sell with someone like Krillin. The fandom has a very, very nasty case of double-standards throughout, however. This is just the tip of a very unfortunate iceberg.

[sourwormsaresour]

Do you write for sale or zucchero? 😳

I've never written about them. But just for you, I'll write some backstories about them, maybe throw in a few headcanons. They deserve so much more recognition. 

Btw, the backstories are based on the car conversation they had before interacting with Team Bucciarati.  There’s unfortunately not too much we know about the two but this is what I came up with. :)

Sale was raised in the same poor neighborhood as Gelato. These two don’t know each other well but they have heard of each other growing up. Sale grew up as an only child raised by a single mother and his father, although loving and supportive to the very end, was murdered while working as a mafioso. Sale, who was 9 years old at the time, had to quickly grow up to be the “man of the house” so he could take care of himself while his mother is working; later on, he would strive to work harder and be stronger to protect her and become the breadwinner instead. While a lot of family dynamics in the neighborhood was toxic and abusive, to say the least (mafioso fathers and sex worker mothers oftentimes forced to be together and children suffering as a result of poverty and circumstances), Sale was considered “lucky” in that, despite the similar lives his parents had with other parents in the neighborhood, they genuinely loved each other, strived to provide a loving home and opportunities for their only child, and chose to do so rather than forced into it. Sale grew up angry about the circumstances life put him in and how the world poorly treated both him and his family. Like other children in the neighborhood, joining the mafia was a way to a higher status, better opportunities, and venting that frustration to the people working beneath you. What really motivated him to join was his mother- he vowed that he would take care of her and “be the man his father is” should something bad ever happen to his father. Sale wanted to be in a position where he could help her retire out of sex work, hating how she had to tolerate her clients to get food on the table, and overall did it as a way to express gratitude to his mother for raising him. Even after she passed, he continued his goals of becoming a high-ranking mafioso in her and his father’s honor. He's extremely serious about his future plans, which we can see with how he tells off Zucchero for not investing the 5 billion lira in long term goals but instead on more materialistic short-term things. 

Meanwhile, Zucchero came from a more comfortable background, nothing beyond your typical middle class family lifestyle, and never really considered going into the mafia until circumstances forced him to. Based on the conversation he had with Sale, I think Zucchero was an upcoming Ph.D. student who was going to study astrophysics for his dissertation (He mentions to Sale this quote: “I know more about astrophysics than I do any damn rumor”/ “I don't know where the end of the universe is and I don't know jack about [any rumor] either.”) at one of Italy’s prestigious universities; he and Melone probably rubbed shoulders at one point since both are former Ph.D. students. However, Zucchero's actually an average student at best and doesn't focus on studying at all; he isn’t very bright beyond academia. Zucchero preferred partying and living the fast life over pursuing a stable traditional one, justifying his priorities by saying he's “already super smart because he’s studying a STEM degree” and even uses his college major to flex on other people. The scholarship money he gets mostly goes into funding his partying habits than his school needs. The reason behind this behavior is rather relatable: Zucchero is terrified of growing up after college and has no idea what he wants to do in life. He knows the scholarship money can't fund his lifestyle forever and part of why he pursued a Ph.D. is because it delays his higher education career to avoid going into the workforce sooner. During his college years, a bit of party foul landed Zucchero into some criminal trouble that ultimately compromised his spot in the doctorate program. In desperation, he turned to Passione for protection and cash in exchange for his servitude and finds the fast life as a gangster suits his liking more than facing the adult world with no passion. It’s also why he remains in Passione alongside Sale, as we see in PHF.  

Despite the different lives these two had prior to Passione, Sale and Zucchero get along with each other pretty well- or at least tolerate each other enough to work together. Sale easily saw through Zucchero's BS in being the intellect, yet likes how Zucchero is stupidly down for anything. Zucchero has a slight superiority complex against Sale due to Sale's background but admires Sale for being the actual brains out of the two. 

[lilaccatholic]

Ugh, this article from Vanity Fair (copied below the cut for those of you who have run out of free articles for the month) about how many old Hollywood stars were forced into abortions to keep up their “images”—with some of them being absolutely destroyed by the procedure—is absolutely horrifying. How anyone can look at this and not see how these poor women were abused and manipulated is beyond me.

Abortions were our birth control,” an anonymous actress once said about the common procedure’s place in Hollywood from the 1920s through the 1950s. While patriarchal political powers connive to block women’s legal access to abortion in 21st century America, in Old Hollywood, abortions were far more standard and far more accessible than they often are today—more like aspirin, or appendectomies. How and why did a procedure that was taboo and illegal at the time become so ordinary—at least, among a certain set? 

Much like today, in Old Hollywood, the decisions being made about women’s bodies were made in the interests of men—the powerful heads of motion pictures studios MGM, Paramount Pictures, Warner Bros., and RKO. As Aubrey Malone writes in Hollywood's Second Sex: The Treatment of Women in the Film Industry, 1900-1999, “If you want to play in this business, you play like a man or you’re out. And if you happen to be a woman, better not mention it to anybody.”

From the very infancy of America’s film industry, abortions were necessary body maintenance for women in the spotlight. Birth control, including prophylactics, were about as new as “stars” themselves—movie performers who went overnight from being “Little Mary” or “The Vitagraph Girl” to “America’s Sweetheart” or “Sex Goddess.”

“These newly wealthy men and women didn’t know how to control their money, their bodies, or their lives, spending, cavorting, and reveling in excess,” writes Anne Helen Petersen in Scandals of Classic Hollywood. In the working environment of the Hollywood studio system, society’s 19th-century sexual segregation had fallen away. Women—flappers, It girls, sirens and seductresses—were spared their destiny in the kitchen, and for the first time, they earned large incomes they could spend on whatever and whomever they wished. Many believed the publicity they read about their own erotic powers, and they went toe-to-toe professionally with men. Sparks were bound to fly.

And so it became necessary for the studios to implement reformatory measures to prevent stars from destroying their value through scandal. In 1922, Will H. Hays Hays collaborated with studios to introduce mandatory “morality clauses” into stars’ contracts. Consequently an unintended pregnancy would not only bring shame to these top box-office earners—it would violate studio policy. “[I]t was a common assumption that glamorous stars would not be popular if they had children,” writes Cari Beauchamp in her book on powerful women in Old Hollywood, Without Lying Down.

These clauses may have extended to an actress’s right to marry. According to Petersen, rumor had it that “Blonde Bombshell” Jean Harlow couldn’t wed William Powell because “MGM had written a clause into her contract forbidding her to marry”—a wife couldn’t be a “bombshell,” after all. When Harlow became pregnant from the affair, she called MGM head of publicity Howard Strickling in a panic. Shortly thereafter, according to E.J. Fleming in The Fixers: Eddie Mannix, Howard Strickling and the MGM Publicity Machine, “Mrs. Jean Carpenter” entered Good Shepherd Hospital “to get some rest.” She was seen only by her private doctors and nurses in room 826, the same room she had occupied the year before for an “appendectomy.”

In the 1930s, vamp and man-eating thespian Tallulah Bankhead got “abortions like other women got permanent waves,” biographer Lee Israel quips in Miss Tallulah Bankhead. When virtuous singing sensation Jeanette McDonald found herself pregnant in 1935, MGM studio boss Louis B. Mayer told Strickling to “get rid of the problem.” McDonald soon checked into a hospital with an “ear infection,” according to Fleming’s The Fixers.

Many of these Silent Sex Goddesses either fell victim to their own hedonism, fell out of favor, or burned out, such as Theda Bara and Clara Bow. Others, like Joan Crawford, kept going. Kenneth Anger writes that Crawford was a “gutsy jazz baby” who marched through the “twin holocaust of the Talkies/Crash unscathed” to escape her dirt-poor origins. “Joan knew where she came from,” he continues, “and did not want to go back there.”

Get 1 year for $15.Join Now In 1931 Joan Crawford, estranged from her husband Douglas Fairbanks Jr., became pregnant with what she believed was Clark Gable’s child and Strickling arranged for an abortion. Rather than reveal the truth, Crawford told Fairbanks that during the filming of Rain on Catalina Island, she slipped on the deck of a ship and lost the baby.

Crawford’s rival Bette Davis also willingly chose to have abortions for the sake of her career. Davis was the breadwinner for her entire family—her mother and sister, and her husband, Harmon Nelson, whom she married in 1932. If she’d had a child in 1934, she told her biographer Charlotte Chandler in The Girl Who Walked Home Alone, she would’ve “missed the biggest role in her life thus far”—that of Mildred in Of Human Bondage, which earned Davis her first Oscar nomination. Other great parts—“Jezebel, Judith, Elizabeth, Charlotte, and Margo Channing”—may not have followed, either. “But I didn’t miss any of these roles, and I didn’t miss having a family,” she said. Later in life, Davis had three children.

Her first child, Barbara Davis Sherry—known as B.D.—was born when Davis was 39. As biographer Whitney Stine notes in I’d Love to Kiss You: Conversations with Bette Davis, “she was proud of the fact that, after her abortions, she could have a baby at last and a career, because her mother had always insisted that she couldn’t have both. She never tired of reminding [her mother] that she could be a mother and an actress.”

“A child could wait; her career could not.” That’s the reasoning Jean Harlow’s mother gave about her daughter’s own abortion at age 18. Ava Gardner, too, expressed a similar sentiment when discussing her abortion, which she had when married to Frank Sinatra—unbeknownst to him. “‘MGM had all sorts of penalty clauses about their stars having babies,’” Jane Ellen Wayne quotes Gardner saying in The Golden Girls of MGM. “‘If I had one, my salary would be cut off. So how could I make a living? Frank was broke and my future movies were going to take me all over the world. I couldn’t have a baby with that sort of thing going on. MGM made all the arrangements for me to fly to London. Someone from the studio was with me all the time. The abortion was hush hush . . . very discreet.’”

But things didn’t work out quite so well for Judy Garland. Famous primarily for playing Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz and struggling to maintain both her weight and her image as an ingenue, Garland was never free to make her own choices.

“Married or not, the MGM girls maintained their virginal image,” Wayne observes, and this was especially true of Garland. In 1941, at age 19, she married the bandleader David Rose without the approval of MGM, and within 24 hours was ordered back by to work. When she became pregnant by Rose, her mother, Ethel, in cahoots with the studio, arranged for Garland to have an abortion. Audiences loved her as a child—not as a mother. In 1943, Garland became pregnant from her affair with Tyrone Power, according to Petersen. Strickling arranged for her to have an abortion. Arguably, these incidents affected Garland psychologically; eventually she became the first public victim of stardom.

Tyrone Power also got Lana Turner pregnant. Again, Strickling arranged for an abortion. Power was one of a constellation of male stars—such as Errol Flynn, Clark Gable, and Charlie Chaplin—whose unbridled dalliances left women paying the price, according to The Fixers. (The phrase “In like Flynn” alludes to Errol’s ease at bedding women—and his good fortune at being acquitted of statutory rape of two teenage girls.)

Strickling, who was by now referred to as a “fixer,” had his hands full with Turner. The “Sweater Girl” allegedly found herself pregnant by bandleader Artie Shaw in 1941, and Strickling arranged an abortion during her publicity tour of Hawaii. The procedure took place without anesthesia, on her hotel bed. Turner’s mother covered her mouth with her hand to stifle her daughter’s cries. A studio doctor, paid $500 that was then deducted from Turner’s paycheck, performed the procedure. A week later, she was back on set filming Ziegfeld Girl, according to The Fixers.

Some actresses struggled with whether or not to keep their child. Mexican screen siren Lupe Velez committed suicide in 1944 because she was pregnant by her lover Harald Ramond, who wouldn’t marry her. A devout Catholic, she declined to call “Doctor Killkare” (“the joke name for Tinseltown’s leading abortionist,” according to Kenneth Anger in Hollywood Babylon), and downed 75 Seconal instead, according to Hollywood Babylon.

The decision was equally tragic for Dorothy Dandridge. Otto Preminger had directed her in Carmen Jones and made her a star. When she became pregnant by him in 1955, he refused to divorce his wife and marry her. Dandridge was forced to have an abortion; the studio demanded it, according to Scandals of Classic Hollywood, not only because a child would compromise her image as the sexy Carmen Jones, but also because Preminger was a white man. And, while miscegenation laws were repealed in California in 1948, nationwide they were still very much in place.

Ironically, the rebel of her day was Loretta Young—not because she had an abortion, but because she refused to have one. A devout Catholic, Young journeyed abroad in 1935 to recuperate from a ‘mystery illness,’ after she found herself with child by Clark Gable under shady circumstances—and avoided the press. She gave birth to her daughter at home in Los Angeles. Young initially gave the child up for adoption—and then, a few months later, officially adopted her, according to The Fixers.

In the heyday of the Hollywood studio system, women were at their most desirable and their most powerful—but it still didn’t afford them the right to choose when it came to governing their bodies. Hollywood’s production codes extended to women’s reproduction. In the hundred years or so that have passed since the birth of American cinema, everything has changed—though, then again, perhaps nothing has.

[thinkyoureholy]

Oceandust [2]

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Pairing : Kim Hongjoong / [fem] Reader

Genre : Angst, Violence, Language, Fluff, Smut, Pirate!AU

Words : 3.1k

Previous Chapter. - Next Chapter.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

-Y/N’s P.O.V-

It was strange...after that night at the pub I had been seeing more and more of Hongjoong. If I didn’t know any better I’d say he follows me around to randomly bump into me. I shook that thought out of my head the moment it popped into my mind. I can’t start getting all paranoid. With a sigh I headed back home, the pub having been closed for the past few days since they were renovating the place a bit. What am I going to do...we’re running low on food already and I don’t have that much money. Maybe I should- my thoughts were cut off as I bumped into something head first. I cursed, taking a step back, rubbing my forehead.

“You should really look where you’re going, little lady.” Hongjoong said, wincing as he tried to rub at his back but he was unsuccessful.

“Maybe you shouldn’t just appear out of nowhere like that.” I spat out, sounding harsher than I intended.

“I was standing here, minding my own business when you decided to basically ram into me. How is this my fault?” He shot back, glaring at me.

I scoffed, my annoyance switching over to him. Instead of replying to him I walked around him, heading back home. I mumbled to myself as I walked, thinking about what I was going to do about the money we needed for the next few days when I suddenly heard someone run up to me. I looked over my shoulder just in time to see Hongjoong catch up to me, a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes but didn’t offer any words to him, only speeding up. I heard him chuckle before falling into step next to me. No matter how fast or slow I walked he kept up perfectly, never leaving my side. I sighed in annoyance, suddenly stopping and turned to him. 

“Why are you following me?”

He grinned in response, “I’m bored.”

“Okay? Go find someone or something else to entertain you.” I told him before walking away from him.

I inhaled sharply when I heard him follow after me but I ignored him. He just silently walked next to me, not uttering a word. I thought it was a bit strange at first but I chose not to ask questions, knowing he’d never give me a straight answer. Even if I wanted to ask him my attention was drawn elsewhere a few moments later. 

I froze at what I saw, my eyes wide as I took in the sight a few feet away from me. Yuri was standing by a makeshift stall, selling what looked like bottles of Dee’s milk. That little brat...I’ve told him time and time again just to focus on his studies and let me take care of everything. The annoyance and anger at his disobedience rose in me at an alarming rate. Without thinking I marched over to him, forgetting all about Hongjoong. The moment Yuri saw me his face paled, his eyes growing in size.

“Y/N...I...I can explain. I just-”

“I’ve told you time and time again I don’t want you out here working. I make enough to get us by. I don’t ask much of you, Yuri. All you need to do is focus on your studies and watch over the little ones while I’m gone.” I cut him off, keeping my voice down as I scolded him but I wasn’t able to do it as I finally thought back to the younger ones, “Where are they anyway? Don’t tell me you left them at home?! Yuki is only five and the twins are eight, what the hell are you thinking leaving them alone?!”

“You leave them alone all the time!”

“No I don’t! When I’m not home you’re in charge! I expect you to be the responsible one while I’m out here-”

“Working?! Some honest work you do if all you do is sleep around! I bet he’s one of your customers!” He shouted, pointing at Hongjoong who had been silent this whole time.

“Hey now, don’t go getting the wrong idea, kid.” Hongjoong said, an edge to his voice.

I balled my hands into fists the moment Yuri mentioned that rumor that had circulated around town months after our parents died. No one believed that someone like me would be able to take care of four children and myself so of course they assumed I was selling my body to make money. I opened my mouth to tell Yuri to go home, wanting to talk about this at home, in private. But what he said next caused the breath to leave my lungs.

“If all you were going to do was whore around you should’ve just died along with mom and dad! It’s your fault they’re gone anyway! If you had just gone with them like they asked you they would’ve been home earlier and avoided that storm that killed them!”

A lump formed in my throat at his words, my body moving before I could even think to stop it and before I knew it I had slapped Yuri across the face. I kept the tears that had wanted to fall at bay, letting my trembling hand fall to my side as I stared down at him. He kept his head down, clenching his hands at his sides, not uttering a word.

“Go home, now.”

He didn’t offer any words of resistance as he turned on his heel and headed back home. The moment he turned his back on me I slumped forward, reaching out for something to hold onto. I was surprised to feel a hand on my waist, another holding my hand tightly. I didn’t even have to look to see who it was, pushing myself away from him.

“I want to be alone.” I uttered, walking away from him.

But I heard him follow after me. I didn't have the strength to tell him to leave. I barely walked a few steps into a nearby alleyway before collapsing, the tears I had been holding back started to fall, one by one until I was choking on the sobs that crawled their way up my throat. I placed a hand over my heart, clutching onto the fabric of my shirt and clamped the other over my mouth, muffling my cries. I lowered my head as I cried, gasping for air, the pain in my chest too intense. 

I don’t know for how long I was crying for but when the tears finally stopped I noticed the sun had gone down. I was surprised that I had been crying for so long but what surprised me the most was seeing Hongjoong standing a few feet away, his back to me. He was leaning against the wall, staring up at the sky wordlessly, the expression on his face hidden from me. I furrowed my brow the longer I stared at him...what is he doing here? I remember telling him that I wanted to be alone. Did he follow me regardless of my words?

“Are you done?” He asked suddenly, looking over his shoulder with a soft smile on his face.

I said nothing, still in shock to see that he was still here. Hongjoong chuckled to himself, turning around to face me properly. He made his way over to me, crouching down in front of me. Without much warning he reached out and swiped his thumbs over my tear stained cheeks. 

“I didn’t think a person could cry that much...I think you’ve cried enough to last you the whole year don’t you think?” He spoke with a light tone, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips, “What that kid said really got to you, huh? Want me to beat him up for you? Because I can. That little brat went way too far when he accused you of sleeping with me. I mean not that you’re not attractive enough for me to want to have sex with but I’m way too expensive for you.”

I bit back a laugh, wiping my face with the backs of my hands, “As if I’d ever spend a dime on you.”

He let out a loud guffaw, the grin on his face wider than I had ever seen, his fingers combing back the hair that had fallen over his eyes, “Wow that stings, little lady. You don’t know how to hold back do you?”

I gave a soft chortle, a crooked smile on my face, “Thank you.”

He didn’t say anything, simply giving me a nod of his head before the smile he wore vanished, a perplexed look taking purchase on his face, “Tell me if I’m overstepping my boundaries-”

“Like you don’t do that already.”

He scowled at me, flicking my forehead gently, “Don’t interrupt me,” He mumbled with a frown but he wasn’t threatening in the least, “Was...that kid your brother by any chance?”

My mood quickly plummeted at the question, my face sullen as I averted my gaze, giving him a small nod of my head, “He’s the second oldest after me. After our parents died I took over as the ‘breadwinner’ of the family while he takes care of the little ones when I’m away.”

“How long has it been since you lost them?” He asked, his voice low.

“Five years...Yuki had just been born a few months earlier.” I answered, my voice barely above a whisper as I hugged my knees close to my chest, “Yuri’s the one that’s resented me the most for what happened, the others were too young to even remember it. But the way he remembers it isn’t the way it actually happened…”

-Five Years Ago-

I walked down to the port, helping my parents carry the equipment they needed to go out to sea, “Are you sure I can’t go with you? We can finish so much faster if I help you.”

“Then who will look after the others? Yuri? The boy can barely walk to town on his own much less take care of a baby and two toddlers.” My father let out with a scoff but a fond smile played at his lips.

“Mother can stay and I can go. She just had Yuki she needs to-”

“As happy I am that you’re worrying over your dear old mother I’m more than capable of heading out. Besides your father and I have a system already. If he took you with him then he’d have to teach you and you’d have to get used to everything and it’s way too much for you to handle.” My mother interjected, grabbing the things I was carrying out of my hands and passed them onto my father who was loading up the boat.

I gave her a pout, ready to argue once more but before I could she cupped my face in her hands, “Stop worrying or you’ll get wrinkles prematurely. We’ll be back soon so take good care of your brothers and sister for us okay? If I find the house a mess when we come back, you'll have to pay with your head.”

I let out a breathy laugh, nodding along to her words, “Fine but I won’t make any promises about the garden. Those twins are little demons…”

My father gave a hearty laugh at my words, agreeing with me. He reached out a hand and placed it softly atop my head, ruffling my hair affectionately, “We’ll be back soon, Y/N. When we get back I’ll buy you that hairpin you’ve been begging me for.”

“Really?!”

He chuckled, nodding to my words as he helped my mother onto the ship. After another few words they set sail...for the last time.

-Present Time-

“But why did he say you should’ve gone with them? You would’ve died too…”

“Because I told him that night that the reason I didn’t go with them is because I didn’t want to and had other plans. I was joking but when that storm hit and we got news that parts of our parents’ ship had washed ashore I never could find the right time to tell him the truth.” I explained with a sigh, fidgeting with my fingers, “Add that onto the fact that I stopped him from setting sail after them even when we already knew they were dead...I said...awful things to him. Even though I can still see some of that resentment in his eyes every now and then I didn’t think it ran this deep.”

Silence settled over us, Hongjoong seeming like he didn’t know what to say. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable in the least but I had hoped he’d continue talking if only to distract me from my thoughts. Just when I started feeling down again he placed his hand atop my head, something I haven’t experienced in years. I inhaled sharply, my heart skipping a beat at the action. I looked at him with wide eyes, a huge grin stretched across his face as he met my gaze. 

“C’mon let’s go get you something to eat before I take you home.” He said, changing the subject like I hoped he would as he ruffled my hair before standing up.

I stared at his hand for a moment, a little more than confused as to why he was suddenly being so kind and not his usual condescending self. I was unaware of the way Hongjoong’s smile seemed to falter the longer I stared at his outstretched hand. All I heard from him was a soft sigh before he bent down and took my hand, seemingly tired of waiting for me to grab it on my own. Once I was on my feet he began to drag me out towards the center of town but before we could even take more than five steps I stopped him, digging my heels into the ground.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, glancing over his shoulder, his brows furrowed in concern.

“I should be getting home. I don’t want Yuri to think any worse of me than he already does. Besides, I want to have a proper talk with him about everything.” I explained, giving him a small smile.

He set his lips into a tight line, turning to face me properly. He didn’t utter a word as he studied me, his eyes searching my own for who knows what but when he found what he was looking for the corners of his mouth lifted ever so slightly. With a nod he began to lead me in the opposite direction, that is until he stopped abruptly, turning to me again.

“It just occurred to me that I have no idea where you live.” He stated, rubbing the back of his neck as a faint blush covered his cheeks.

I choked on a laugh, covering my face with the back of my hand as I tried keeping a straight face, “You know, you don’t have to take me home.”

“What kind of gentleman would I be if I don’t escort a lady back to her home at this time of night?” He asked rhetorically, not looking for a real answer.

I gave him a blank look, keeping all emotions off my face and out of my eyes, “I don’t remember you being a gentleman in the first place.”

He winced, furrowing his brow in feigned hurt, “I’m trying to be kind to you and you’re making it extremely difficult. It honestly hurts my feelings that you think…” He trailed off mid sentence, finally taking notice of the look on my face, “You’re not buying any of that are you?” He asked, his shoulders deflating as he slouched.

“Not for a second.” I answered without hesitation.

He inhaled sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose before a smirk tugged at his lips, “ I can’t get anything past you can I?”

“If I was any other dumb broad then you’d have me swooning but you struck out there.” I responded, my feet beginning to move towards my home as I spoke.

“I tolerate you because you’re not just another dumb broad. You know how many brain cells I lose trying to talk to your average whore? They literally could not hold a conversation even if it would save their lives to do so. You on the other hand always have something to say, it's refreshing.” He finished with a soft smile, jogging over to catch up to me, walking backwards so he could face me.

I gave him a skeptical look, wrapping my arms around myself as a gust of wind blew by, “You’re being awfully kind today.”

He shrugged his shoulders, turning on his heel so he was facing forward, stuffing his hands into his pockets, “I can’t be my usual condescending self towards you right now, it seems wrong after what you just went through today. You’ve had your feelings hurt enough,” he spoke in a soft voice.

I didn’t know what to say to that, choosing to end the conversation there. I was grateful for the kindness, a faint smile tugging at the corners of my lips. It was a nice change from his usual self but I will say he’s a lot more fun to be around when he’s being a dick. It was easier to talk to him when he was like that, with this side of him I found myself at a loss for words, but I couldn’t deny the fact that it was nice.

-

“Just how far out do you live?” Hongjoong asked, out of breath as he struggled to keep up.

I let out a laugh, glancing over my shoulder, “It’s just over this hill,” I said softly, pointing towards it.

“Do you all live... out here by yourselves? It’s not really the safest place… it's so far away from town…” He let out in between breaths, “Also how the fuck do little kids make it home no problem everyday!? Didn’t you say the youngest was only five?! Holy shit, if Seonghwa knew how out of breath I am right now he’d never let me live it down.”

I couldn’t help but giggle at his exaggerated hand movements, “I did tell you you didn’t have to take me home.”

“And I’m starting to regret not listening to you.” He sighed out, leaning forward to place his hands on his knees.

He bowed his head for a moment before he snapped it back up, looking around with narrowed eyes, “Is it just me or does it smell like smoke?”

I raised a brow at his words, sniffing at the air, “Now that you mention it I do smell smoke,” I said in a low voice before my eyes went wide, “Those little demons! The twins are probably playing with the fire again! Dammit Yuri you’re supposed to be watching them…”

I muttered under my breath, running the rest of the way home but froze once I got to the top of the hill. 

No...no this--this can’t be happening.

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Tags : @myjiminmychimchim​ @atinyarmyx1​

[wonwhomps]

Y.H.R.Y.D

Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x Fem. Reader

Summary: After telling Seungcheol that you hate him and wish to never see him again, will it be too much if one day he appears in front of you telling you how much he missed you or will it start something that could've started years ago?

Genre: romance / fluff / angst

Words: 2602

『Reminder: This story is the sequel / part two of Lie Again. To better understand the situations written below, I suggest reading Lie Again first. Thank you!』

Sitting on one of the station's public bench, you waited for your assigned train to arrive. For the last 10 years of riding the train in order to go to school, work and back home, this will be the last time of waiting and boarding. 

"I'm finally getting a car," you said while standing up and getting ready to enter the train.

Every time you wait at the same station after the tragic confession that happened 3 years ago, every word came back and you constantly think if there's anything wrong with how you look. You never forgot the words you also said to him that night.

"I wish I don't get to see you again", you sigh.

It's already 3 years, get a grip _____! You should be happy, 3 years of putting everything for work and now you're getting a car. Tomorrow.

With a sigh, you look out the window and enjoy the scenery of huge buildings passing by.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Incheon International Airport. Local time is nine-thirty pm and the temperature is twenty-three degree Celsius. (...) Have a nice evening!

Looking out the window, Seungcheol can see the familiar tall buildings and highways. Working in LA for almost 3 years, everything actually stayed the same... Or just the things that couldn't actually be changed.

"Did she change?" he whispered.

Resting his head over the window, "I want to see you again. I missed you,” he said.

"Ouch! I bit my tongue..." you woke up from daydreaming just the right time to get off the train.

"I wonder who's thinking about me? I did not bite my tongue on purpose... I'm not dumb!" Well except for the fact that I fell so damn hard to the man I don't dare say the name... and even meet. Psh.

Good thing there's not much people walking with you at the station. They might think that you're ill considering that you're talking out loud with no one else to talk to.

Tomorrow, there’s no need to buy tickets anymore. You’ll go home riding a car not a train. Tomorrow, you'll never get to remember what happened at the station 3 years ago. Tomorrow, you're moved on. It took you too long to finally convince yourself that you're over him.

For the past 3 years, you always say to yourself that you hate him, that you don't miss him even a single bit. But you find yourself trying to search his name on social media to see what's he up to these days. You can't help but sometimes worry about him, knowing that he's the breadwinner. You worry about him because you're his best friend before everything turned to ashes.

Your mind is full of wonders about him and his whereabouts for the last 3 years until you reach your home. It's only a walking distance from the nearest station up to your place. You did your routine, ate dinner and finally went to bed.

"A new day is waiting for me tomorrow. And a new car!" You excitedly said before closing your eyes and dozing off.

"Hyung! Over here."

Seungcheol couldn't believe that he's seeing his brother personally in 3 years of working overseas to send him to a decent school and provide a decent life for him.

"Video calls didn't inform me that you become taller!" He said showing his gummy smile to his younger brother while putting an arm on his brother's shoulder.

"How are you?"

"I'm glad that you're back, hyung. I missed you."

"You're too cheesy. You want something, don't you? I know your tactics. Let's go around town tomorrow. For now, let's go straight home." He said while hailing a cab.

jeo taeyang wiro my my my my my way~ 

-10 am-

A smile creeps on your face while you turn the alarm off, remembering something special about this day.

Owning a car is one of your dreams. Now that it's finally happening, you felt proud of yourself. Your parents are living on the countryside, that's why it is hard for you to visit them when you have a day off from work. With your dream car, you can now visit them whenever you want during your free time.

After eating breakfast, you took a shower and wore a black long-sleeve turtleneck shirt, mom jeans and black ankle boots. You put all your necessities inside your handbag and head outside to go to your chosen car's dealer shop.

While walking on the way to the station, you can't help but think of all the things that happened in years of riding the train. Although not all of them are happy ones, they're still a part of your train memories.

Seungcheol and his younger brother are on their way to the city to just spend some time together... and money.

He felt proud of where he is and what he is right now. He successfully raised his younger brother. Look at him achieving all of this. But something is still missing... Even after being with his brother, he still feels lonely. A sigh escaped his lips as he followed his brother who entered an electronic shop.

Before entering the shop, Seungcheol eyed something at the store beside the e-shop.

"I should probably start saving up for a car, sometime." He said while entering the shop where his brother welcomed him by pointing to a newly released computer.

"I thought I saw someone," you shrugged. "Must be someone I happen to see at the station. Geez. I think I'm familiar with everyone's faces after all the years of using the train as my main transportation." You said while entering the dealer shop.

Since you already settled the needed information last week, you are now signing some papers and the salesperson is telling you some stuffs about the car you chose. It's just a red sedan car, red has always been your favorite color.

Nothing special, except that you gave the color red a new meaning 3 years ago. Hatred and acceptance. It didn't change the fact that red is still your favorite color tho.

The salesperson told you that you can pick up your car later this afternoon. They still need to process your papers. So you decided to roam around the town, maybe buy some clothes or do a window shopping. 

But you ended up sitting on one of the station's public chair, your eyes following the passing train. You don't want to be emotional or start any drama. You're just here because after all those years, the station somehow calms you. Weird, but it really does.

You stand up near the ticket booth, you suddenly remembered how both of you take turns on buying tickets. The one who arrives first buys the ticket for two.

How both of you wait for each other even until midnight for the sake of riding the train together. Cheesy, but that's how it goes back then.

All the laughter every time both of you accidentally bought two tickets, now holding a total of four tickets.

Moments when you lend your shoulders for him to rest his head on when he's exhausted from his part-time jobs.

How you didn't even feel bored at all whenever you're riding the train with him. All his dad jokes that you actually find yourself laughing to. Basically, standing here... brings back all the memories of your friendship. But you never really think of it as friendship, you assumed something was going on. And here you are, alone.

Seungcheol ended up buying his younger brother the new pc. Something for study, he said. Seungcheol knows better that it's not for study, but still bought it for him, this is the first time his brother ever asked something from him.

He was left walking around the town as his brother immediately went home after holding the magical box. Seungcheol looked at the red car that was being tested. "Someone bought it," he said. "That was actually what I'm eyeing earlier." 

He was still tired after the long flight last night, so he decided to just go home instead of roaming around town. While walking towards the station, memories of 3 years ago flashed in his mind.

He saw how disappointed you were back then and how hurt you were. After seeing you turned your back to him that night, he badly wants to run to you and tell you the real feelings he feels about you, but he needs to provide a better future for his brother, so he needs to let one go.

He realized how foolish he was thinking that lying to you was the best option for everything, when he could've just said he's going away to work. "Things were done and there's nothing else I can do now." he sighed as he stand in line for the ticket.

You realized you were standing near the ticket booth and some passengers might think this is the official line. All your thoughts vanished when you feel someone stand behind you. "Shit." You said before turning around to politely say that this is not the line.

You froze.

You're not expecting things to happen like this. This is like the last time except it's him.

Seungcheol's eyes widen and his lips parted, trying to say something but nothing's coming out.

Staring at him feels surreal, it feels like one of those dreams you had before. He grew more handsome for the last 3 years. You bet he has a lover now, remembering how he rejected you back then. You wish he was yours.

Looking at him, you started saying things inside your head.

I thought I hate you. But the truth suddenly came out, I never really hated you. I was waiting for you to come to me that night when I turned around. But you never came. I lied about hating you. I lied about not wanting to see you again, because I badly want to see you. I want to love you. You're now here, again. I want to hold you but I'm afraid to be rejected again and that makes me want to run away from you.

You were about to leave, but he grabbed your arm. You can see that he wants to say something because his eyes tells you to listen.

"S-seungcheol... I have to go somewhere," you tried to escape. "I'm running lat-" !!

You were surprised when he suddenly hugs you... Tightly.

You remember his scent. You remember the time when he comforts you every time you need someone by your side, this feeling was the exact same feeling back then.

"I'm very sorry," he said while caressing your hair. "_____, I'm sorry."

I missed this.

"I missed you." Seungcheol said.

This must be a dream. You feel like crying after all those years of wanting to hear his voice and to feel his warmth. You want this, but a part of you says you need to let go.

And so you did.

You backed away from Seungcheol and started to walk away. Slowly.

Just like the last time.

You are silently waiting for him to come to you. Because if he does, you can't hide your feelings anymore. Now that he's here, your feelings for the past years suddenly came back.

You noticed that you are now near the exit of the station.

Maybe, he's just here to say sorry.

He's just here to say he missed me... Our friendship. To say sorry for the hurtful words he said to me. He's just here to end things more clearly. Maybe, I should too. I should turn around and say the words I wanted to say to him because now's the right time.

“We were friends, after all.”

You turned around and you suddenly felt a lips on yours. A pair of hands finding its way to rest on your hips.

Seungcheol deepens the kiss because of how unresponsive you are.

Everything's not processing, but you closed your eyes and started to move your lips against his.

Both of you feels like you're in a separate world where there's only the two of you, no one else.

Both of you parted lips when you both heard the station’s announcement.

The next train is arriving at platform X. All passengers who will board the next train, please stand by.

You looked at him. Still can't believe what happened. Same goes for him.

"_____, I love you," he pecked your lips and hands still resting on your hips.

"I.. uh," your phone rings.

You answered the call, Seungcheol's hands still on your hips, while looking at you. Memorizing all of you.

Seungcheol didn't expect already meeting you after arriving back here, and at the station too where everything started and paused.

He always believes that everything just paused between the two of you. That night was not the end. And here he is, holding you. Staring at you like he found something precious that he will take care of forever.

He waits for you to finish the call. He is mesmerized by your beauty. Indeed, everything he said back then were all lies.

After receiving the call, everything is suddenly processed. He just said the love word to you!

I mean, I love him. Not that I was just pressured when he suddenly said that. I was originally planning to say that when I turned around, but he just kissed me. Damn, we're still at the station. Should I say I...

"Love you?" your eyes widen.

"Are you asking me? Yes, I love you." Seungcheol can't hide his smile.

I just said that out loud, didn't I?

"No... I.. I was saying that I.. uh," you looked away. "I love you."

Seungcheol smiled as he hugs you again.

"_____, I want to tell you that I love you that night until today. Until forever."

xxxxx train arriving the platform.

Seungcheol looked at you.

"I'm supposed to take that train, you know? But I forgot to buy a ticket since it's you who's more important right now." he said.

Remembering the call you received, "I'll give you a ride."

His eyes widen.

"Aren't you a little straightforward, I mean... We just exchanged 'I love yous' earlier... Not that I'm saying that you're a little bold. But are you that hungry for me?" Seungcheol said like rapping, trying to avoid your eyes.

"What are you saying? My car is ready to go. I'm saying I'll give you a ride back home. Only if you want." you said, amazed by how his face started to be red like the color of your car.

Oh.

You can see how embarrassed he is right now. He can't even look at you properly. He just nodded, still not looking at you. Ears all red.

You hold his hand and walks towards the station's exit, back at the dealer shop to finally drive your car. With him. The one you love and the one who loves you, too.

Like how the stations and airports always say that the passengers reached their destination. I, too reached mine.

A/N:

I hope you reach yours, too.

Finally, after almost a year posting Lie Again, the sequel is now done. Lie again is a bit angst and I'm not really a fan of angst endings LOL. So if ever my stories ends with angst, expect that I'll write a sequel of that story. I hope you enjoy reading my works. To more stories together! I seriously thank you all esp my followers!

*My masterlist!*

Requests are allowed.

(Format)

Character:

What is your request about:

*tags - WWwrites

:)))

[rodgersandhypnostein]

Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered

‘He's a fool and don't I know it,

But a fool can have his charms,

I'm in love and don't I show it,

Like a babe in arms’

It was only a matter of time before this would happen. Richard  was getting sick of having to tidy the flat up alone, because his flatmate, Oscar, was too lazy and self-important to do it himself. They’ve only been living together for a few weeks and Richard was dreading the next few months of having to come home from work to clean up after Oscar.

‘Seriously, it’s not that hard to clear up after you’re done with it’, he thought.

 Being honest, Richard didn’t even mind tidying up most of the time - he actually found it relaxing seeing a messy room become a tidy one - but this was getting out of hand. Richard would come home, hungry and tired, and before he could even start cooking dinner for himself he’d have to clean up all the utensils and pans, which he’d then have to wash up after cooking.

‘That’s it, I’ve got to do something about this’. 

And with that, Richard began devising a plan to figure out how he could convince his messy flatmate to be a bit more tidy, the sooner the better. Realistically, he couldn’t think of any way he could bribe or convince him to clean up after himself. Oscar made a much larger salary than Richard and so couldn’t be persuaded with money - the only reason Richard thinks Oscar has a flatmate is so he can have a free cleaning service. Not only that, but Oscar was a very persuasive guy himself, and Richard was afraid if he tried to talk to him about it, he’d be able to talk his way out of it, and have Richard do even more work. So he decided to look for a more indirect way of getting what he wanted, and found the perfect way to do it.

As long as they’ve been living together, Oscar has been a total gym freak. He’d go straight from work to the gym for a few hours, come home reeking of sweat, shower and then make food, destroying the kitchen. Not only that, but he could be found listening to those stupid motivational tapes at all times, something about how if he keeps positive thoughts and moods, good things will happen for him. ‘Brilliant’, Richard thought to himself, with a devious smirk.

‘If he’s gonna treat me like a 50s housewife, then I’ll just have to make him my perfect husband’.

Richard turned to google to search for hypnotists. Richard hit them up mentioning his situation and asking about the possibility of creating a motivational tape, with hidden messages of love and adoration for him. Unsurprisingly, a lot of them turned him down, saying that it would likely fail and even so, would be highly unethical. 

Just as he thought he’d have to give up, he got a response from one of the shiftier-seeming guys, saying that he’d love to try it out. After paying an exorbitant amount of money for the tape, and a couple weeks waiting for the tape to arrive, ‘your life will be so different neither of you will want to go back’ was all that was attached to the tape, and with that, Richard was finally able to put his plan into motion.

‘Hey Oscar, I know you love those motivational tapes you’re always using. So, I went to the market the other day and managed to find this. I hope you like it.’ 

Richard hoped Oscar wouldn’t be too taken aback from his sudden gift-giving, but to his luck he happily took it, making sure to put it on his laptop with a ‘thanks mate’, and before long, Richard could tell that his clueless flatmate was listening to his special tape.

The more Oscar listened to the tape over time, Richard could see its influences on his flatmate’s behaviour - the kitchen was starting to look cleaner after he’d cooked, he’d started taking the rubbish out each week and he’d act more gentlemanly towards Richard , once even pulling a chair out for him to sit on, before wondering why on earth he ever did that. Richard just pretended to never notice, meanwhile deviously enjoying every moment of it.

Along with this new gentlemanly and tidy behaviour, Richard could see that Oscar was beginning to act more dominantly with him, almost like an old-fashioned husband would act with his wife. When they’d go out to eat together in a restaurant, Oscar would insist on paying, no matter how much Richard would insist on splitting the bill. Then, when they’d go to a pub to watch the football together, or just to have a quick drink, Richard found that Oscar would sit them down in one of the booths and wrap his arm around him, and he began to enjoy the feeling of Oscar taking care of him.

All of a sudden, Richard ’s plan took a complete 180 degree turn, when out of nowhere, Oscar called him into the living room and told him that he should quit his job. 

‘I just don’t think it’s good for you to be doing so much housework alongside having a job’, Oscar explained, in a tone that was more of Oscar telling why he would be quitting his job, instead of why he should quit. 

‘But I like my job, it’s something I really enjoy doing. And I’ve put so much work into it that I don’t want to throw away.’, Richard was perplexed as to why he was trying to reason with his flatmate, instead of just flat out rejecting the proposal. 

‘I know you have honey but like you said, you’ve put so much work into your job and yet you haven’t really made any progress in it. How long have you been working there, about 5 years since you left uni? And you’ve never been promoted, and have only had a couple pay rises. Why would you want to stay there and be treated like shit when you could stay at home, doing the chores. I know I’d be a lot more grateful for the work you do than they have been. Don’t worry, I make enough money for the both of us as it is, I’ll be able to take care of you’.

Richard began to think it through, and found himself beginning to agree more and more with Oscar, why keep working in this deadend job when he could let Oscar do all the work. How hard is it to cook and clean all day, they’re already things he enjoyed doing anyway, so in theory he’d enjoy his day just as much, if not more, as he does in his job now. 

‘OK, I’ll quit my job and do the chores’. 

‘Great, I knew my tapes would work’ Oscar said to himself in satisfaction.

‘What tapes?’ Richard questioned, surprised to hear anything like that coming from Oscar.

‘Alright, don’t get mad at me honey, but recently I’ve realised that I want you to be more than just my flatmate, I want you to be mine. Mine emotionally, physically, and sexually. So I got some hypnotist dude to make a tape to make you more obedient and subservient to me. I’ve slowly been turning you into my perfect obedient boy for weeks now. And now I’ve finally got you’.

Richard was certainly shocked to hear that the man he’d been hypnotising had also been hypnotising him, but upon taking all of what he said in, he realised that he also wanted what Oscar wanted. He wanted to belong to Oscar, to be his emotionally, physically and most importantly, to be his sexually. He enjoyed acting more obediently toward Oscar and loved the satisfaction and pride he’d get when it was acknowledged. So, to be honest, Richard couldn’t be mad for what Oscar did, in fact all he felt was gratitude that Oscar chose him.

Seeing that Richard was now his, Oscar scooped his now boyfriend into his before taking him to bed. There they consummated their newfound relationship. Oscar was only just able to keep himself from cumming whilst Richard blew him, and found there was no taste he enjoyed more than that of his new lover’s ass, as he kept licking and licking to get more of that sweet taste, much to the delight of Richard, paralysed by the pleasure of Oscar’s tongue on his asshole. Finally, neither of them could believe the immense pleasure they found when Oscar first put his thick dick up Richard’s perfectly lubed ass. 

From that night on, Oscar and Richard were a modern version of the perfect 50s couple, with the hunky, dominant breadwinner - Oscar,

 with his beautiful, subservient housewife - Richard,

and although it wasn’t what Richard had originally planned for him and Oscar, now that it was his life, he couldn’t think of anything better. 

As for Oscar, he loved when he’d come home from work to see his loving husband scrubbing the floors, naked on his hands and knees, with his tasty and fuckable asshole pointing towards the sky, and Oscar would make sure to do both of those things before the night was through.

Hey, it’s Archie here, so I’ve decided to make a bit of a change with the blog, with less of a focus on just celebrities and moreso on just hot guys in general being hypnotised. I’ve found that I’ve been coming up with a few hot situations to write, but was unable to link it to any specific celebrity, and I’d also like to make my blog stand out a bit more.

Also, feel free to write me any asks or suggestions for any stories you’d like to see me write. I’m still gonna be writing stories about celebrities so don’t let my new direction put you off, I’ll still be up to making any of your perverse fantasies a reality haha.

[dragonrajafanfiction]

The Crane Team: Part 3 - Sun Tattoo

In a conference room, ten chairs have been set up around a round mahogany table. The seven new clan chiefs, along with Nanami Sakurai and Yoko Uesugi, sat around it, facing each other and a screen that featured three high ranking former members of the Devil Clan who were teleconferencing in from behind bars.

Nanami Sakurai sat in a prim royal purple business suit, her hair up in a tight bun. Yoko sat next to her, her hair up in a high ponytail, covered from the neck down. When given the permission to speak, Yoko said, “The legal department has agreed to take up the cases for appeal. They’ve also agreed to weekly status updates on these. However, this will take significant staff away from regular duties.  I would like to request a budget for emergency staff members to handle follow up and logging of reports.”

“How many people are we talking about?” A heavy set man rumbled, completely unconcerned. His head was bald save two tufts of hair over his ears. He smoked from a long Japanese pipe. He was Minato Ryoma, a business mogul specializing in real estate. He was the late Clan Chief Genichiro’s cousin and had quickly inserted himself into the vacuum left by his death with very little fuss. 

“My primary objective is to reassure the defendants that Hydra will take their cases seriously. I will therefore hire 45 people. No more than 10 cases per employee.” Yoko replied. “Pay should be a sufficient living wage for Tokyo on its own so that they will not need secondary employment to focus on this task.”

Minato snorted roughly, his stomach bouncing under the table. “Preposterous. Our finances have barely recovered from this disaster and you want to throw away this much money for this project?”

“Our recovery is pointless if we are lax in pulling the Yakuza gangs together and another war break-...”

Sakurai silenced Yoko with a stern look. 

Yoko sat back against her chair. “My apologies.”

“I will make sure that we do a full review of our budget and accommodate as much as we can to the effort.” Sakurai Nanami spoke quietly and dutifully.

“Genji Heavy Industries is still a wreck. The contractor’s we hired are over priced due to the scarcity of workers and materials. We must build the house before we invite other tenants.” Ryoma grumbled.

The other clan chiefs seemed to agree, nodding to themselves. 

“Perhaps priority can be given to the breadwinners within the former Devil Clan so that some of the children currently in foster can be reunited with their rightful families.” The newest clan chief of the Inuyama clan, Inuyama Ren, was a surprisingly young man of 21 years old. His face was smooth and handsome and reminded Yoko a bit of Chance. He was Katsu Inuyama’s last remaining son. The rest had died in the fighting. Yoko couldn’t argue the practicality of his suggestion but he could certainly see objections in her eyes. “Does Ms. Uesugi have a response to this?”

“Yes… I do agree that this is a good suggestion. However, placement of Devil Clan children can’t all be with Devil clan members. Particularly if their actual families are alive. Parents should raise their children.” She said softly. “Furthermore, the youth of the Devil clan are the least responsible for their crimes and the more likely to suffer future effects. I believe the younger members should have a high priority as well.”

Minato huffed again, “Future…” He muttered.

Yoko’s nails squeezed her hands but the effect of such emotion dampening tactics was hampered due to her gloves. 

From the speakers of the computer, one of the Devil Clan representatives unmuted themselves. “It has been demonstrated that the increase in violence of the Devil Clan were the result of illicit drugs being produced to enhance the bloodline. Before these drugs, while there were violent and dangerous hybrids, the population of berserker hybrids was not nearly as high as after these drugs were produced. The Clan Chiefs of the Hydra could be excused for thinking all Devils are going to die young but that wasn’t always the case. Even the rules stated that Devils could be imprisoned for up to 40 years with hope of release.”

Minato huffed but didn’t dispute this.

“We will run an analysis through the accounting department. I can’t promise 45 employees but making sure each temporary hire is paid enough to focus fully on the work is wise.” Nanami nodded her head.

The meeting dragged on to discuss politics. The mass slaughter and outbreak of violence had alarmed non-hybrid officials. They were pushing through an anti-Yakuza bill and needed immediate reassurance that such shocking events weren’t going to recur. Yoko scarcely suppressed a yawn as she struggled to listen. Her Japanese was phenomenal for having studied for such a short time but the details and intricacies of parliament still escaped her.

Her cell phone buzzed at her side and she peered down.

The message: “The Fuma child was rejected this morning. He’s back at the orphanage.”

Her eyes widened. Why? It had taken ages to finally place that child with relatives after a thorough search. He had been marked, improperly, as violent. He’d understandably acted out after witnessing the death of his family. She had been reassured and thrilled that he would finally be placed with his own clan! Yoko looked up at Nanami Sakurai. “I’m sorry. There’s an emergency. Excuse me.”

Without asking permission, Yoko got up from the table, bowed to everyone and dialed the number to the group foster home.

The placement officer over the children’s group hostel answered right away. “Hello?”

“It’s Yoko. What happened? I thought we resolved all concerns?” Yoko stood outside the door and then walked a few more steps to further conceal her conversation from the conference room. Outside the room,  people were passing back and forth but most of them were on phones of their own. Half the corridor was blocked off with construction tape to repair an earthquake damaged wall, making things extra crowded.

“His bloodline isn’t the problem. The problem is he’s not Fuma.”

“Not Fuma? Then what is he? All his paperwork said Fuma!” She said, dodging passersby and trying to find a quiet spot.

“We don’t know. We don’t know why he would falsify his information…”

“There has to be a mistake. He’s eight years old. How can someone his age falsify information?” Yoko started walking towards the exit. “I need to talk to him. How is he?”

“Distraught but…”

“Of course he is…” Yoko broke into a jog. After the assassination attempt, she wasn’t allowed to leave the Genji building without an armed escort and armored car, but this was an emergency! “Excuse me, are you headed out?” She approached a couple of Executive Board members who pointedly ignored her. Even though she chose to believe they were already busy with their own tasks, most of the Hydra members still thought of her as Ruri Kazama’s woman and wouldn’t willingly help a former enemy.

“Look, I'll try to get there as soon as possible.” Yoko hung up and walked over to the information desk. “Hey I need to get a ride to the foster home. Is there anyone available?”

The woman behind the desk looked harried and brushed aside hair that had gone askew. “This is not a scheduled outing and currently there are no armored cars available…”

“When will the next one be back?”

“Probably not until four pm and that will depend on traffic.” She said with some regret. 

“No, this is too important. Can we recall one?”

Her eyes widened in outrage. “Recall one? And what are we supposed to do with the person who’s actually there on-site?”

“I’ll take her.” said an approaching voice.

The secretary’s eyes widened and she stood up.

Yoko turned her head and looked into a familiar face behind thin rimmed glasses. “Crow!”

She hadn’t seen the man since he dropped her off at Genji Heavy Industries after the Cassell Team departed. She thought he had retired. Crow was the last remaining man on Chisei Gen’s original team. Both Sakura and Yasha had died during the Dragon’s awakening. Sakura was killed by Ruri Kazama. Yasha died blowing up Kaguya’s core in Genji Heavy Industries. The man looked a bit thinner than she remembered and he looked like he had aged with dark circles under his eyes.

He stood there in his usual trench coat and colorful shirt. “Are you coming or not?”

“Thanks.” She smiled gratefully and followed him out. 

The sun was bright but there was a noticeable chill that heralded the onset of the fall season. Hydra members walking by were looking up at Crow in shock, doing a double take, just as surprised as she was to see him back.

Crow led her to a red sports car but didn’t hold open the door like a regular driver. He just stepped around to get in.

“Did you see everyone’s faces?” She laughed. “Where have you been?”

“Taking a long vacation.” He slid into the driver's seat. “Where are we going?”

“The foster home for the Devil Clan children. What made you come back? If anyone deserves retirement, it’s you.” She said, buckling her seat. 

Crow didn’t respond but pulled into traffic. His expression was stony and his eyes were grim.

Yoko’s smile gradually faded. “Did… something happen?”

“No, nothing happened. Old habits die hard.” He pulled up to a stop light and they waited for it to change. After a pause, he added. “I never got to thank you for saving Sakura that day. At Tokyo Tower.”

Yoko looked straight ahead. Sakura Yabuki had used herself as bait to trap dead slave monsters at the top of the Tokyo Tower. Once they were nearly on her, she threw herself off the tower and let them follow her down. Yoko knew there was a rope dangling from the tower, where Fingel had saved himself from falling only minutes before. She had grabbed Sakura and the rope and watched the dead slaves continue their descent to the ground, a full 8 second fall. 

Unfortunately, Sakura would die anyway.

“I just wish I could have done more.” Yoko murmured

“Believe me, we all do. Normally, I probably would have just committed harakiri after the young chief’s passing, but I got my old man to take care of. Meanwhile? Might as well come back here.” 

The light turned green.

“Do you really still hold to notions like that?” Yoko asked with a cautious glance. “I don’t think that’s what Chisei would have wanted.”

Crow’s eyebrows flew to his hairline. “Woah, you two were on a first name basis?”

“Ah… I…” Yoko stammered.

“Ha. I’m teasing. I know you’re not from around here.” He gave a vicious grin however.

Chisei and Yoko had an inevitable conflict. She was a member of the Cassell Team, a devil and in love with Ruri Kazama, the leader of the Devils. He’d hurt her deeply by killing a man named Chance who’d fallen in love with her and fought his hardest to stay alive. The killing was brutal.  She couldn’t like him. But at the same time, she couldn’t help but feel that, had circumstances been different, she and Chisei would have been friends. It was true that Yoko had always referred to Chisei by his first name and she couldn’t remember him ever objecting or correcting her. 

Crow had likely noticed that long before now.

The orphanage was actually a juvenile correction facility set back off the road by two layers of guarded cinder block walls, manned sniper towers and armed guards at the gates. Once inside, a large building that appeared to be something like a multistory hospital greated her with an imposing cliff-like presence. Were it not for the playground out back with its colorful slides and swings, you would have thought it was a military facility.

Crow walked in with her as she signed in but she stopped him from entering. “Dressed in that trenchcoat, you’ll frighten the kids. I’ll be right back.”

The only memories Devil Children would have of the enforcement department were invasive interviews that asked probing and embarrassing questions. One wrong answer and they would be sentenced to death or eternal imprisonment. While the caretakers were kind to them, fed them and let them sleep in comfortable beds, at the end of the day, they were locked behind vault doors that were secured by heavy chains. 

It reminded Yoko a lot of Black Swan Bay. Only these children weren’t controlled by a clapper sound.  The influx of orphans after the Hydra’s devastating purge had left the facility staggering and in dire need of funds and personnel. So placing these orphans with families was a top priority of Yoko’s work.

Thankfully, Sakurai, Inuyama and Miyamoto threw open their doors and opened their arms to the orphans. Fuma and Ryoma however had little room in their hearts for these children. Many of their clan members were orphaned at the Red Well when the massive influx of those strange white filaments swallowed up the Fuma Ninjas who had been stationed in the forest to guard the area. Fuma was extremely hurt by the fact that the Devil Clan leader, Kazama Ruri, viciously humiliated the Kotaro Fuma. But with some cajoling Yoko had finally been able to persuade them to take this one child… but he wasn’t even a Fuma child in the end.

She stopped in front of a door and pulled the file from the slot next to it. The name Tatsuya Fuma was crossed out and replaced with “Unknown”. She knocked twice and opened the door.

The boy who, up until now, had been named Tatsuya Fuma sat on a small bed. His room was neat, with a red rug and a shelf full of small toys that had been donated. Mostly toy cars and one toy gundam action figure. There was a TV but it was off. Tatsuya’s face was flushed and sticky from crying.

“Hey…” Yoko approached quietly until she was halfway across the room and then knelt down on the rug. “Hey… what happened?”

The boy hiccuped and sniffled, his knees gathered to his chest. He stared blankly at the wall.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not your fault.”

The boy shook his head sharply, clearly and adamantly blaming himself.

Yoko knew better than to argue. “Then what did you do?”

He looked at her and shook his head. 

“Are you scared?” Yoko whispered.

The boy nodded. 

“Why?” She opened her arms and beckoned him over. “Here, come whisper in my ear.” Her frequent visits to this boy made her known and trusted. He knew how hard she’d worked to get him placed and they’d grown a bit close. Day after day, she’d visited with candy and toys and talked to him, reassuring him that she was on his side.

The boy got down from the bed and hugged Yoko around the neck. He didn’t know it, but Yoko always wore a wire on these visits. Sometimes when she was with them, the children would whisper to her the secrets of their trauma, bits and pieces that they’d seen and heard. Little by little, Yoko was building cases against certain cadres of the Executive Board.Given the overwhelming dominance of the Executive Board of Hydra, getting witness testimony directly was nearly impossible. No one would dare speak of the vicious attacks on them. Their killers were still alive and well.

Tatsuya hugged her so tightly around her neck she nearly gagged. He was warm and trembled like a puppy. His arms were thin but his grip was strong, like iron. She could feel every bone through his cotton shirt.

“Tatsuya died. They shot him in the wall.” He whispered, then he sniffed loudly.

“Who did?”

“The people with the sun tattoo.”

“So you took his name?”

“Yeah...they were trying to kill me. So I can’t use my name. They thought Tatsuya was me. So I am Tatsuya now.”

Tatusya was a real child, not a falsified identity! This boy had taken the dead child’s name to hide from people who were looking for him. She'd sent the wrong child to the wrong family! That family had to find out on the day their son returned to them, that their son was actually dead. Yoko’s heart felt like it fell into her stomach.

“Okay honey… okay.” She ran her fingers through his hair. “Don’t tell anyone what you told me. Okay? I’ll find somewhere for you to be safe. Can you whisper to me your name?”

“Mitsue Ryoma…”

Ryoma. No wonder he never admitted who he was. Ryoma hadn’t adopted a single child since the purge. Yoko always had a bad feeling about them. Their Clan Chief’s dismissal of her proposal this morning was just one of many. They’d opposed unification at every opportunity. She couldn’t place this child with them. “You’re very smart. Okay. You can keep calling yourself Tatsuya.”

Crow had walked outside to smoke while Yoko was in the facility with the kids. He took a deep drag of his cigarette and imagined the young chief’s arm around him, shoving the cigarette in his mouth and lighting it in a sudden show of uncharacteristic affection. It was a cherished memory that came back to haunt him every once in a while.

Even though the Young Chief never talked about that girl who now called herself Yoko Uesugi, he could tell she was never far from his mind. Especially after she rescued Sakura Yabuki. Crow would notice the Young Chief staring at his reflection in his sword. Sakura returned that sword to him and told him that Yoko had saved her life. It was odd behavior and for a long time Crow’d wondered why he would stare at his reflection like that.

The door behind him opened and the girl walked out, head down, hands in pockets. “Let’s go.” She grumbled and jogged down to the sports car and stood next to it, waiting for him to unlock it.

Her sudden change in demeanor surprised him. “Did things not go well?”

She didn’t answer him. She just kept her eyes down.

Once they were in the car, she pointed to the cigarette lighter in the dashboard. “Does that work?”

“Yeah. You want one of mine?” He reached into his pocket for a cigarette. Yoko, however, removed one of her gloves, revealing the clear scales on her hand, and pulled the cigarette lighter. She took the glowing red-hot cigarette lighter and pressed it to her own skin!

“What are you doing?” Crow shouted. He reached out and snatched the lighter from her, but the damage was done. That white skin was blackened and turning red at the edges. 

Yoko cradled her hand to herself.

“It’s fine… it’s fine.” She whispered but she was cringing in pain. “Look.” She held out her hand to him. The burn was already starting to fade, rapidly healing thanks to her elevated blood.

“Don’t do that again! What’s wrong with you?” Crow shoved the lighter back into the dashboard.

Yoko didn’t answer. She just turned her head back to the entrance of the orphanage. 

Crow massaged his forehead wearily. “What happened there?”

“I can’t tell you.” She ran her hands over her face and massaged her eyes.

“Why not?” He asked, looking down at her from his glasses.

She looked him up and down silently. “Do you have a sun tattoo?”

“I got lots of tattoos… sun’s not one of them.”

“Do you know anyone who does?”  Quiet anger boiled beneath those dark eyes.

“Why are you asking?”

She let out a loud sigh and turned back to the window.

Crow sat back, resting his arm on the steering wheel. “Anywhere else you need to go?”

Yoko squeezed the fingers on her burned hand. “Can we go to the track?”

[hurryupimstarving]

I remember in 9th grade my english teacher made us write an essay about a turning point in our lives. I think I bullshitted my way through it. I was fourteen, emo, depressed, and thought I was ‘too cool for school’. But looking back on it, I’ve had a lot of turning points in my life and if they had never happened I’d be dead.

The first one was when my grandpa died. I was eight, he was getting taken off life support, I didn’t understand. There were words being strung together in an order that I couldn’t comprehend. “Let him go slowly.” “End his suffering.” “It’s better this way.” What are these words to an eight year old who only ever understood her grandpa as the man she had met a year ago who flew kites with her and bought her tooney chicken from KFC. I didn’t understand why he died. Later I learned it was because he was a heavy smoker and he only stopped when he met me. A good sentiment but a late one. My family never talked about it afterwards. I still sometimes find myself thinking he’s in the Philippines or somewhere out of my reach, but alive. That was my first meeting with Death. He smiled sweetly at me as he took my grandpa but after that the world seemed darker. A scary place where good men were taken from little girls who didn’t have a lot of good in their life. 

The next was when I was eleven. It wasn't a big moment but it stirred something in me. My teacher made us read “The Breadwinner” and that was the first time I ever comprehended the great expansiveness of this world. My biggest concerns at the time were keeping my friends and keeping away bullies. Parvana’s biggest concern was staying alive, where her father was, and feeding her family. I thought to myself, “How can life be so cruel to a child?” Later I learned that life is cruel to a great number of children and has been so for a very long time. I chose to dive into literature after that, expanding my views, learning about horrors, trying to understand Death.

He greeted me personally when I was thirteen. Young, depressed, and anxious I told my parents about my two suicide attempts. They took me to a doctor who told me they would forget that meeting. They would erase this from the records and forget my confession. This way I could still ‘get a job’. I broke after that. I crashed like a mirror dropped from a dainty hand and shattered into a million pieces. I sat alone in my bedroom with a pair of sewing scissors. Everything else sharp was taken away from me. I didn’t move for hours. I was frozen. Time stood still and all I did was look at Death. Death looked back at me. We didn’t speak, just paused there like dancers before a song begins. This is the first time he spoke. 

“Do you want to keep living like this?” He asked.

“No.”

“Then you have two options. Either you die or you live differently. Simple as that. What do you want?” He made it clear it was my choice. He never pressured me or forced me into something I didn’t want, just sat with me and waited. It took awhile but I chose to live. And live I would, much differently I promised him. 

I changed a lot after that. After the conversation with Death I was determined to live better. I still had anxiety, I still had depression, I still struggled. But at least I was trying. I signed up for a  week-long program in a different province. It was a youth conference and there we were learning about international affairs. It was my first time away from my parents, my first time away from my friends, my first time alone. I was so awkward it was painful. I’m embarrassed for myself. I made no friends, I didn't talked, and cried myself to sleep four out of the seven days. I was offered another choice after it ended. I could stay that awkward and shy or I could change. And change I did.

At fourteen someone believed in me. Even before I believed in myself. This was in the shadow of the conference and while I wanted to me more confident, it was easier said than done. Now I was kind of a smart kid, I never participated in class but I got decent grades. But then my social teacher made me a lawyer in a mock trial. I was shitting bricks. Not only did I have to talk in front of the class, I had to talk for a while and argue and win. I could’ve backed out but let’s be real I was too shy to talk to my teacher about it. So I did it. I ended up loving it. You don’t know the rush of confidence you get when you beat the popular kids in a mock trial with all their friends voting. I realized I was good. I wanted to keep being good. I chose to pursue law after that. I’m thankful for that teacher. At eighteen I had an early quarter life crisis. See while most people were planning their lives, I was busy trying to keep off Death. Each day I struggled with him and sometimes he won. I couldn’t see into the future because that day wasn’t even guaranteed. But I hit the age thirteen year old me never thought she would. What the fuck was I supposed to do now?

“I guess you have some choices to make, huh?” Death smiled at me.

I chose to be a political science major and pursued that dream of becoming a lawyer. I started planning my life. Most people said it was too early but for someone who didn’t think she’d get to live this long I was excited. I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to learn all that I could. I wanted to experience all that I could. But first up was the world. A bit of a daunting task but after facing off with Death nothing could be as challenging as that. 

I was nineteen when I studied abroad in Kampala, Uganda. I guess you could say I went all out. I travelled alone to a country I barely even heard about and there I was with eight other strangers in a three bedroom house in the middle of Africa. It was one of the best choices of my life. I don’t think I can recall a time I was happier. I was making strides in my law career and trying to understand why the world was so cruel to children. I interned with a group that made reusable sanitary pads and studied at Kampala University. I didn’t want to build a school, I wanted to know why a school was even needed. My salvation was tied with theirs and that is how I view everyone around me. I made some of the best friends I’ll ever have. Partied the hardest I ever had. Met the weird people I’ll ever meet. And fell in love with humanity. We are such a strange, crazy and simple species. But it also broke my heart. I realized how much privilege I lived with when a girl told me she wished she was a boy so she could go to school without worrying about her period. Another with better grades than I could ever wish to get told me university was a dream not meant for her. I felt like a coward when I could run from the pandemic. I decided to devote the rest of my life to evening the scales of this world.

I’m twenty now. Medicated for my anxiety and depression. I have alopecia and my hair is falling out. I want to study in the UK. I want to work in the international field. I want a family. And even though I still dance with Death I love my life, I wouldn’t trade it for an ounce more happiness. These turning points shaped me and these tears watered my roots and had me reaching for the sun. But I know this isn’t the end. I know this isn’t the best it can be. I know I’ll still struggle but I’ll take it because I love living.

I don’t know who I’m writing this for. If it’s for me or to help someone else or to get this narrative out of my head. I don’t know if this will help, I don’t even know if it’s comforting for me. But I feel that it needs to be said.

I was told the path to the good life was the constant acknowledgement of one’s choices. Understanding what we’re doing and the reasons behind them. I agree. Everything I’ve done in my life has been a choice. The path of my life is laid out before me but it is my choice to move forward. Staying where I am is comfortable and safe but Death will always be there. He’s the only thing I have to contend with and fear. But he’ll still be with me in the same spot and he’ll be with me further up. And what’s in front of me is new and exciting, so why not move forward?

[samuel-dean]

Valentine’s Surprise.

INVOLVED: Samuel Evans and Mercedes Jones. LOCATION: Evans’ Estate; Atlanta, Georgia. TIME FRAME: Friday, February 14th, 2020. NOTES: Samuel surprises Mercedes on Valentine’s Day.

Samuel stood waiting patiently for Mercedes and Nouvel to join him for their Valentine’s Day surprise. He stood off to the side, his hands were behind his back as he leaned against the wall. To stand in any other spot of the home would just ruin what he’d done for them both this year. His eyes rolled over his handy work, he loved it, he couldn’t imagine a single individual having pulled off something like this is their home today and he prided that fact. Any minute now he was sure she’d come down the stairs with their daughter in hand to join him, he looked to his watch and licked his lips as he continued to wait. If he’d trusted the right people, which he was sure he did, they’d make her take the steps nearest him. There was a simple note left beside her for him that didn’t lead much into what was going on but he was sure it left her guessing.

Valentine's day had never been on Mercedes radar. Most of the time, she'd had some big job to finish. -Some audacious  surprise for some rich, well to do man's wife or mistress. Yet, today she'd awaken to a note the left her giddy from head to toe. What was Samuel up to now? She spent all of two seconds contemplating the day, before rushing, but not attempting to look like she was rushed.  Brent was a lifesaver, he gave her time to put on makeup and do her hair again, something she'd missed taking time for. She smiled at the man as she entered the room to get Nouvel, who never seemed to cry with him around. Before long, she was headed down the stairs which was odd. For some reason the elevator was out of order.  She'd have to remember to mention that to the head housekeeper. She thought absently, before all other thoughts left her mind. The sea of flowers before her was breathtaking. She slowed, eyes wide as she ascended the stairs. Awestruck as she found Samuel, always storybook handsome, standing among the pedals. "Oh my..." Was all she managed to say as she approached the man, wide eyed.  

Samuel watched Mercedes walk down the stairs and if she had said anything at all it had fallen on death ears considering the orchestra of music being played live behind him. How often did some hire people to play a sea of love songs for you as you walked down the stairs to a room adorned in roses? He smirked at her and Nouvel, bright eyes and nestled right where she loved to be most. In her mother’s arms that is. He smiled at her and said “you look refreshed” with a smile on his face. “Happy Valentine’s Day, you two” he said as he leaned in to kiss Mercedes lips sweetly and then to peck their daughter’s plump cheek. “For you” he offered a single rose to her not that it mattered to do so considering the whole bottom half of this wing was covered in them. “I have something to show you two” he said as he grabbed her hand, his other still behind his back and he moved them towards the next set up. It was a pain getting this done, he’d been up all morning trying to make sure that the set up was perfect and for a moment he didn’t know if the walkway of towered rose covered hearts were actually going to make the cut. But it was pulled off in a timely manner, in that same room was the bodies of the musicians playing along in unison. “You know I wrecked my brain on what to do” he told her softly. “And, for a while I wasn’t sure” he told her looking down at her. “But, you showed me a side of you I couldn’t ignore. And it left an impression on me that I would never forget. I never felt so secure in your words and your touch” he told her as she walked her through the heart set up. “It’s only one thing a man this in love could do on a day that is to be showered in love….” he breathed looking at her again as they stopped at the end of the walk way. “Could you guess what that is?” he asked.

Mercedes free hand covered her mouth, as Nouvel cheerful babbles and Samuel's words were lost behind a melody music. The man thought of every thing. And while most would chalk it up to his staff, she knew every inch of this was by his design and she loved him all the more for it. Still in a daze, she felt Samuel move towards her for a kiss. She went up on her toes immediately to meet him. "Oh baby" She said, hand resting against his chest.  If he never did another thing for her.  This was enough. She accepted the rose with a chuckle. "Thank you." She said, bringing the flower to her nose, careful to stay clear of Nouvel's grasping hands. "Oh" She said, as she stared up at him, "And this wasn't for us?" She joked, as they waded the sea of red. Her whole body was on fire as she looked away from his gaze. Not fearfully so. Just overwhelmed. She wanted to say he didn't have to do anything, but it would be lost on him so, instead for once, she buttoned her lips, squeezed his hand tightly in her's and let herself be loved. Tears were at the corners of her eyes as she stared up at him, havel eyes meeting blue. "I haven't a clue." She told him with a shake of her head.  

At her words he chuckled “I had a feeling you’d say that” Samuel told her honestly, he licked his lips growing a little serious now. He thought he would have been nervous about this, but no, he was calm and self assured. He opened his mouth preparing to say what he felt on his heart he wouldn’t be long winded but he needed to say what he thought. He expected her to pack her shit and leave him in his house to suffer in silence without her after the embarrassing moment they shared. But instead she chose to embrace him and she didn’t make him feel half a man about it. “Nine months can teach you a whole lot about a person. And then one minute they do something that is impossible for you to put into words and you know in that instant that, that is more than enough assurance for you. I wouldn’t have changed anything that happened, everything that aligned to make this day possible I am truly grateful for. There were some slip ups and even times where I am sure I thought differently but on this day” he stressed nodding his head with a smirk and he revealed his hidden hand bouncing the velvet covered box in it. She was going to make him do it, after all she deserved it, lowering himself on one knee though he never really pictured doing this ever in his life he said “ I have no doubt in my mind that I Samuel Dean Evans, would be honored if you Mercedes Antoinette Jones, would grant me the privilege of making you my wife? Will you marry me?” he concluded opening the box to her. Now if she rejected him, he’d understand it might be too much too soon for her, but if she accepted it, oh what a happy man he’d be.

Mercedes' laughter rang out only adding to the music around them. She quieted and repositioned Nouvel on her hip as Samuel grew more determined. Sometimes things are too much, his kindness, his love... She didn't deserve him. "This is enough Samuel." She told him in a sobbing whisper.  Alarm bells started to ring in her mind, growing into a deafening roar. As if in slow motion she watched through her tears as he slid to one knee, revealing a box that could only hold one thing. The diamond was the size of a goose egg, surrounded  by yet another ring of glittering gemstones, filled her sight.  Wordlessly, she sank down, seating herself on Samuel's outstretched knee, the world spinning as her breathing became shallow

Samuel watched her expectantly, as she cried he smiled a bit thinking to himself that there was no need for her to. When she lowered herself on his knee, he sat the box down on the ground for a moment. He wrapped an arm around her, his other resting against Nouvel. She had to gather herself which he understood, he rubbed her back and asked her. “You okay?” concerned as he watched her closely. “It’s okay” he coached, not to sure if he was coaching himself into a yes or no but it would still be okay either way.

Mercedes had accepted certain things in life. Being the breadwinner in her family. Check. Being the strong, responsible one. Check. Being alone. Double check. And in the matter of months everything she worked towards her whole life, had changed.  Uncertainty had become her new constant. The losses were great, but wonderful things had  also been born out of change. Things she'd never hoped for or seen. It was selfish to want this man. She'd achieved something for her child, her mother had never for her.  A father who loved and adored her.  As if to remind her, Nouvel's hand, scratched against Mercedes face. She looked down at the baby, as lovingly Samuel did as always the right thing and comforted her. She looked up at him, then rested her hand against his beard. "You sure about this?" She questioned, giving him an out if he wanted it. Or maybe trying to spare herself... She was never sure anymore.

As she finally looked at him, he smirked as she cupped his face in her hand. Samuel nodded his head confidently at her “I have never been so sure of anything else in my life” he admitted to her truthfully. And that was a fact, though he’d done the dance with Scarlet more than once he knew deep down she wasn’t the type of woman he’d wanted to make his wife. Or even the type of woman he knew for sure cared about him as much as he cared about her. Though she had tried to hide and deny it for so long Sam realized that it had all been a gimmick. The way she attentively cared for him that night was a testament to that and he was sure. If he wanted to bank his money on anyone it was Mercedes, it had always been Mercedes he guessed. “I am sure” he said caressing her side lovingly. His eyes fell on their daughter and he smirked at her for a moment before he looked back up at her “I want to make us a family, through and through. All the way” he said, caressing their daughter’s cheek lovingly.

Fear clawed at her. It was too soon... You'll mess up.  You are a novelty and when he's tired of you he'll leave you too. Everyone leaves... All her insecurities were present. All of them wanted to ruin this moment.  Oh, the fear was there. His answer however was strong enough to quiet those fears, and without another moment of hesitation, she gave in. "Yes.." Mercedes blurted, cutting off his final set of words. She  covered his face in kisses, before placing her lips tenderly against his, with a sigh and a smile. "Yes." She said once more her lips never leaving his.

She sat there essentially weighing her options he thought in his own mind and when she finally said something and he happened to also double as relief to him he smiled again at her. She kissed around his face and he chuckled before she kissed his lips and he closed his eyes basking in the feel. She’d said yes, his heart could let up it’s pounding now. Samuel made sure to keep her steady, making sure she nor their baby girl came tumbling down off his knee. He gripped her side with his large hand as he finally opened his eyes again moaning against her plush lips.

Mercedes sigh was long and deep as she melted into his kiss.  Lingering on his lips for a moment, hesitantly, she pulled back, and kissed his nose once more. Then rose from his knee. She pulled her lips into her mouth and put out her finger, idly looking to the box where it sat on the floor. She loved him. There was no doubt about that, but she wanted  to see how that ring would look on her finger.  

As she pecked his nose his cheeks got a little rosey, she stood up and he didn’t let the opportunity pass to pat her butt for good measure. Samuel watched her hold out her hand and he picked the box back up, removed the engagement ring from it before he slid the huge rock on her hand. He smirked as he moved to stand up “I loved every moment of designing this for you” he told her as she grabbed her hand looking it over. “I love it, do you?” he asked her curiously before he pecked her hand sweetly.

Mercedes giggled as his huge hand slapped down on her bottom. "Not in front of the baby." She playfully fussed, still giggling as she spoke. The ring slid onto her finger as if it had been specifically made for her hand. No glove or ring had ever fit her better. She sighed at his comment, shaking her head.  Why was she not surprised?  "Do you want my critique from a designer standpoint or as a woman?" She questioned, mischievously. Smiling though she gave her answer."It's absolutely perfect." She breathed gazing at the ring. She looked at him, seriously, her hand still in his, "I love you."  She uttered simply yet wholeheartedly.  

Samuel chuckled at her “you are right, not in front of precious” he replied as she cooed at Nouvel a little. At her question, he had to think about it, was one any different than the other? They were both critical as hell if you asked him. It amused him that she answered his question anyway. Good, he got that right too, he thought to himself happily. “Great” he said to her before she spoke again telling him how she loved him and he wrapped them up finally dropping her hand. “I love you too” he told her pecking her lips. “Oh” he said as she moved to grab another box for their daughter. “Daddy didn’t forget about you Nouvel” he sung out to her happily as he opened the box to reveal the necklace he’d had made for her. It resembled her mother’s ring and he loved the way it came out as well. He took the necklace out of the box and moved to place it around the child’s neck fastening it securely. “Look at that Nouvel” he told her watching as the diamond danced against her tiny chest.

Mercedes leaned her head back, gleefully accepting his kiss. Her mind already ran  over dress designs and venue options.  She never dreamed of wearing a gown, and now needed to be clear on what she wanted before telling Titus or the man would take over for sure. Her eyes went wide once more at Samuel's forgetful "oh." What other trick could he have up his sleeve? She was about to ask when he produced a miniature version, if what appeared to be a full 2 or 3 carat diamond could be considered miniature, that mimicked the design of her ring and fastened it around Nouvel's neck.  The child's small fat hands, tried fruitlessly to grab for the sparkling gem around her neck with only fleeting success. "You are going to spoil us.  You think of everything." She gushed, watching Nouvel. Seriously feeling her gifts to him were wholly inadequate.

Samuel watched their baby. He turned to Mercedes after the thought, he smirked not saying a word before he grabbed Nouvel from her arms. “You gave me the greatest gift of all” he challenged as he looked at what they’d created. “You’ve spoiled me enough for a lifetime” he said proudly, as he kissed the little girl’s face again. “Besides, I love planning all of this for you” he said looking around for a moment. “Otherwise, how else would you learn how much I cherish you both. I don’t think me saying it enough will ever suffice. I must tell you too” he breathed out. He hugged Mercedes close before he stole a cookie from a tray behind her back and treats were brought out to them by the staff. “Congratulations ma’am” Samuel’s ole pale said as she offered Mercedes a chocolate covered strawberry, Helen could have foreseen this coming and on the contrary she was actually excited about it though professionally she wouldn’t show it. Samuel bit into the cookie and he munched happily as he looked to Nouvel again bouncing her lightly “they made use a steak dinner for two” he said chuckling a bit at the thought, his staff thought of everything. He guessed he wasn't supposed to know up until the point that he gathered downstairs but he was nosey. He couldn’t help it.

Mercedes narrowed her eyes, as he took the baby from her arms. "I knew you'd say." was her quick reply, eyes going back to her ring. No, she hadn't spoiled him. Which grieved her. How do you spoil a man who has everything? Truthfully, she had no idea. She have to come up with something and soon.  She rested her heavy laden hand on his chest, as the staff entered as if on cue. "Thank you, Helen." She said, grinning at Samuel, idly wondering how much the woman had known and for how long. She released Samuel choosing as strawberry, nibbling at it.  Mercedes smiled fondly at Helen and the assembled staff, “That was sweet of them. Well I guess that means they have the rest of the day off huh?”

At Mercedes comment Samuel thought to himself for a moment “I hadn’t considered that, but why not” he added as he walked Nouvel over to the flower arrangements. “Look” he breathed to her happily, lasting memories that’s what he wanted to create with them. Helen looked to Mercedes as she pressed her new fiance and she didn’t know what to think. A day for them to rest? Was that even possible? Did they know how to? In all her years of working for the Evans’ she never once had a day where she had nothing to do, she couldn’t conceive it. When she opened her mouth for the entire body of staff to assure Mercedes they needed no day off she heard Samuel and her eyebrows rose. Oh they were going to adore the woman being the Queen of this Palace she had compassion and kindness infused in her, not that Samuel didn’t he was just structured and nowadays she was breaking him out of his routine and it was amusing to watch. “Alright then” she said as the head of staff she looked at them signaling them to set the desserts up for the family and get lost.

[ohshcscenerios]

Hi there! Is there anyway you could do Kyoya and Renge for your pairing game? Love your blog btw, keep up the good work

Thank you for your kind words and also for participating! An interesting ship, indeed. I hope you enjoy!

Kyoya x Renge 

1. Who Confessed first?

Technically it was Renge who confessed first when she declared Kyoya as her fiance. She learned a powerful lesson that day but her feelings for Kyoya never faded. As far as she understood, Kyoya didn’t want anything to do with the bubble-headed French maiden. However, when Kyoya confessed his feelings a year later, Renge learned another powerful lesson; miracles can happen.

2. Who Initiates the Kisses?

Renge is a very affectionate person, from pampering her man with homemade cookies to laying out his silk pajamas at night, but when it comes to kisses she really wants Kyoya to surprise her. She likes feeling his arms snake around her waist and his thin lips greet her cheek. She’s explained to him  it makes her feel like a woman. So, in a way Renge initiates their kisses by asking Kyoya to initiate first.

3. Who Initiates the Cuddles?

Renge may ask for kisses but she cannot contain her love for cuddling. Kyoya isn’t one to cuddle just because so she makes it her responsibility to steal him away from work for a nice cuddle in bed. At first Kyoya protested, not wanting to waste daylight, but after a while he secretly began to enjoy holding her close. He doesn’t want to admit that to her though because he knows she’ll try to push for longer cuddle times.

4. Who Is Against/For PDA?

Kyoya doesn’t like the extra attention in public but Renge adores having Kyoya’s arm draped over her shoulder. She enjoys reminding Japan who Kyoya chose to marry.

5. Homemaker/Breadwinner?

Renge looked forward to becoming a homemaker. She had always dreamed of caring for her home, her husband, and her family like a good little wife. At first Kyoya didn’t understand why she would choose to stay home rather than pursuing a career but he soon realized that was how Renge supported him – in her own little way.

6. Dominant/Submissive?

Renge has an aggressive personality, both outside and inside the bedroom, which clashed with Kyoya’s need for dominance. They agreed to an unusual compromise; cosplay. On the nights they can’t seem to find their balance they will dig out matching costumes and start over with a different character.

7. Have They Done “It” Yet?

Renge declared sex before marriage a very improper behavior for a young lady such as herself and wouldn’t let Kyoya’s greedy hands near her. When they got engaged she allowed him second base… and that was it. Kyoya had to wait until their wedding night to completely claim her.

8. Who Wants/Doesn’t Want Kids?

Renge has always imagined a large happy family with her Kyoya but unfortunately he doesn’t agree with her timeline. Renge would love to start their family as soon as possible while Kyoya would rather wait until the Ootori Group’s ducks are in a row. Renge reminds him she’s not getting younger to which he’ll roll his eyes and sigh.

9. Who Tutors Who in College?

Renge loved flaunting her relationship with Kyoya in college, especially in front of the well-to-do girls who doubted their love. Renge pretended to need help with her classes and asked Kyoya to meet her in the college’s library – centered table – so he could tutor her. Kyoya knew what she was doing and still went along with it, knowing it would quiet the pesky gossipers.

10. The Family’s Thoughts?

Renge’s father was thrilled for her little girl when she married Kyoya. He trusted the Ootori family because they had always been good business partners. The Ootori family, on the other hand, didn’t agree with the marriage. They didn’t need their marriage to partner with Renge’s family because they already were partners. The Ootori family also had their private thoughts about Renge, like how she could behave empty-headed. Kyoya defended his right to marry her.

11. Who Is More Protective?

Both are very protective but in different ways. Renge is considered an explosive energy, easily triggered by side comments and hints of defiance. If she suspects anyone working beneath Kyoya is disloyal to the Ootori Group she will have a little chat with them in the break room. Kyoya is also protective but he chooses to stay behind the scenes, pulling strings where he needs to.

12. Who Easily Becomes Jealous?

Renge can become extremely jealous so Kyoya has to be careful with where he takes her. When they are asked to come to Galas and balls Kyoya becomes very nervous because he knows if any woman dares to even bump into him Renge will have their heads.

13. Date Night or Night In?

Renge loves going out for the night, mostly to show off her handsome husband. Kyoya has grown to not mind being flaunted around town with Renge on his arm. He’s learned to take her silliness as a compliment.

14. My Opinion on the Ship!

Personally I do not like this ship. I feel Renge wouldn’t be a fair match for Kyoya. They differ in too many ways, both personality and priority wise. They do make a good team when planning events and scheming for the host club but beyond that I can’t see their friendship progressing into love.