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rarepears · 1 year

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Hello 👋

Since you're answering, can we now know a little more about SJ x TL? Or maybe SJ x WRH? (Is Wangxian still happening?)

Can't wait for another update, your fics are my favorite thing to re read 🥺

Lol I read SJ as Shen Jiu and TL as Tianlang Jun.

I'll spoil some things for Sung Jinwoo X Wen Ruohan, how about that?

With the expansionary policies of the Wen Sect (aka taking over many smaller sects and recruiting rogue cultivators), the other sects take note and do the same. It's very much an imperialistic race to conquer and colonize the other sects (like the European powers slicing up Africa and Asian ahem).

So rogue cultivators? Far and few.

Wei Wuxian's parents thus are part of the Jiang Sect and are still alive in this AU; they were rogue cultivators for a few years until the rather insistent Wen recruiters trying to get their headhunting commission (cough much like how job recruiters today can make big bucks for successful job candidates) so they went back to the Jiang sect to become officially affiliated. They still act much like rogue cultivators, but, you know, being officially affiliated still means something.

Add in Wei Changze's bbf (best buddies forever) status with Jiang Fengmian and you get a Wei Wuxian who's more highly regarded by the cultivation world because who cares as much about social status/class when power is more important - power and money.

(Imperialism and colonialism - or at least for British Empire and I'm still using a wide paintbrush for describing this - the social hierarchy was a lot more flexible for the monopole center. Families gain great status and class with the wealth they could claw from the colonies. Indentured servants who traveled to the Americas worked off their years of service and were able to acquired land and slaves afterwards thanks to good timing and buying cheap land before its value and price skyrocketed.)

With Wen Ruohan serving as a leader for both the cultivation world AND the mortal realm - notice how he's establishing schools and domestic policies that impact tradesmen, roads, local politics, and more? - the cultivation world wakes up to the value of the non-cultivation world and is now imposing more control over the local towns and cities. The extraction of wealth (cough taxes) naturally is one form of control; but propaganda and the flow of information is another.

Does Wangxian happen? Sure, but here it's tainted by the fact that the Lan and Jiang are seeing another opportunity to establish another strong alliance via marriage. There's more eyes on the couple - more to criticize, more that wish to undermine such a relationship, more to gossip. As much as there are those who wish to throw Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji into nice neat boxes of gender expectations, there's those who want to profit off such things (the yellow books, gossip columns, matchmakers who see more opportunities to throw concubines at the two, etc.). The fate of Lan Wangji's mother was a well kept secret... which means that naturally it will get leaked out and weaponized at some point.

The political instability is both a result and response to Wen Ruohan making his imperialistic desires clear and obvious to all. There's more shuffling of cultural norms and more social mobility but there's also more bottom-up movements -religious revivals, fearmongering events (cough like the Salem witch trial) - that are a response to the social chaos and economic unpredictability.

Okay, that's enough rambling from me. Not even sure if all these random thoughts make sense, but here you go.

[More in #THE MARRIED LIFE OF SUNG JINWOO AND WEN RUOHAN AU]

#THE MARRIED LIFE OF SUNG JINWOO AND WEN RUOHAN AU #mdzs #mao dao zu shi #solo leveling #solo leveling ideas #the untamed #sung jinwoo #wen ruohan #wei wuxian #lan wangji

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pjisskullourful · 7 months

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I'm so proud of you

🫂⭐

thankyoooou my darling💖

stream of consciousness response cos i have so many feelings& idk if im gonna be able to sleep even though its 1.30am? okcurrrrr

holy fuck. holy fuck. HOLY FUCK!!!

i had some shitty things happen to me pre -pandemic but then being on lockdown i was forced to sit with all of that, accept the label of 'victim'& my mental health got bad. i've always been a homebody& a bit anxious in social situations, but during lockdown i became quite terrified of the outside world. there are occasions when i let my best friend down by pulling out of commitments at the last second cos i never felt good enough, i wanted to hide the fuck away, i felt myself decaying& i thought people would see that& i was SO ashamed& thats when the body dysmorphia got in the drivers seat(the street name of the concert venue was driver, i'll be the driverrrrrr)& it was crippling & took so many things from me

anytime i leave the house is an accomplishment for me now. even if its just to walk down the block to buy a loaf of bread. & going into a situation like a concert, with the overstimulation, the complete lack of control (i am a perfectionist, control freak)(i love structure, i need routines to feel safe & thrive& be happy)- i wasnt sure i could do it. i had a cry last night cos i was feeling so intimidated, i didnt know how to prepare

but i made it out of the house. i dressed myself to the fucking nines with no shame. i took PRIDE in my appearance when usually i just want to be a floating brain so that no one can perceive me in my form. i was serving CUNT, i put my entire pussy into it& i fucking did it

to be in the presence of those four fuckers, im in disbelief. i've been unemployed since a bit before the pandemic, i've had to come to terms with ptsd & the fact that i now have a disability & idk how to just jump into another job. i feel so worthless so often. but here, i dont. i had given up on my dream of making money from my writing. but now i am!(& it started with an ethan commission!!!) & im not worthless& i have accomplishments that i have gained for myself, despite everything else, despite the voice in my head telling me im not good enough, im past my peak, im decaying -- yada yada yada suicidal ideation

a little bit of my dream came true because of those four fuckers. i cried the day honey came out cos i am just so completely grateful for everything being a fan of them has given me

& it started with an ethan commission. & then ethan looked in my eyes& said thank you

i am not worthless, i am not past my peak. i am a motherfucking kool kid

thankyou for every note on every fic(i look at every single notification, they make my heart fucking soar), every kudos, every cent anyone has sent my way. tonight was a celebration of all of that& i could be present& happy& in it. no darkness could touch me, especially not while ethan was looking at me

he is as fucking flawless in person(they all are). i got to stand so close& stare at that fucking body(cos he wonderfully took his shirt off after interval)& i love him& i'll most likely love him forever, thats my baby daddy ❣️ my mum is gonna be so proud. i wish i could wake her up with a phone call. ethan is her fav& i cant wait to tell her i had an interaction with him

i sat in the gutter& went from loudly laughing(ala gaga in aura) to sobbing loudly. my world has been rocked

for some people a concert is just a concert but this is a GIGANTIC deal for me. middle finger to my anxiety. middle finger to my body dysmorphia. this is such an accomplishment. i am grateful for every fucking second, grateful to myself cos i fucking DID IT!

& this is the second time this year that i've seen a eurovision winner perform their winning song(cos my girl conchita back at the start of the year). & that is dopee as fuck!!!

my therapist is gonna be so proud 🥲

can i get a HELL YEAH for vallium? ily forever bby

tldr-- im proud of me too babyyyyyy

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blade-liger-4ever · 1 day

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Okay, a little announcement

I have a blog on WordPress, and I recently posted this:

Now, to all the Supernatural fans, I will be kind and tell you right now - this is featuring comments, discussions and, perhaps, fanfic that is an AU or rewrite of the Catholic/Christian mindset, and will therefore be un-enjoyable for you. However, that is not the main point of this post.

There are some OCs for this rewrite/AU I have in mind, and I am working on creating them as well as discovering their "voice", if you will. I already have one designed via Hero Forge for visual reference, and will be getting to the (for now) other two at some point, but I fear that Hero Forge often makes the female characters I create seem a little "butch"/gay, and my characters are NOT gay. I do not wish for my female characters, especially the one I just made, to appear gay or repugnant to any viewers or followers I gain on WordPress, and I am looking for artists - preferably Catholics and Christians - who are willing to collaborate with me on this.

Now, to be fair to the other half of this group, I will warn you that I cannot commission you for art. I can't pay for fanart to be made for this, and I mainly just want at most three art pieces for each of my characters. If you are willing to do this collaboration, please let me know, and while I cannot pay you, I will cite you on each post for these characters and post links to your Deviantart/Tumblr accounts so that others will be able to find you and, God willing, be able to pay you for the art they desire.

If you find this interesting and want to help me out, just reblog with comments or ask in the comments on this post. My schedule is a bit wild, but I will do my best to respond to you quickly. If you are a rabid Supernatural fan who wishes to attack me, I will block you because I am not looking for a fight, nor am I attacking you. As a matter of fact, I am not attacking anyone in this fandom: this project of mine is to have fun and get myself accustomed to public interaction that would include the writing world.

So please, if you find that this upsets you, keep scrolling. I do not wish for a fight, but I will not end my ideas, or bend to wills that is not God's Will, simply because you wish me to.

Take care, all of you, and have a blessed day.

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boldlyanxious · 1 year

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Robinhood 3

Part 2

Masterlist

I didn't read back through so we just hope it all looks good

He thought long and hard about it later. She would not tell what harm she expected by not being able to complete the escape just that it had been her only opportunity. He knew it was because she didn’t trust him. He wasn’t sure if it was because of things that happened years ago or how he had treated her when he found her. But if they could manage this right, they might be able to use her to stage a coup in the region. The Agreste’s had gained too much power and they were abusing it. Given the right incentive Lady Marinette could be guided to take charge more and do something to help out. More than she was doing as Ladybug, making actual change to help people. Making both of their other identities unneeded and perhaps he could get his family back.

He looked across the courtyard where she was helping with the washing. She wasn’t very adept at scrubbing the clothes as the other women were, but she was working just as hard, perhaps harder. He had thought to suggest to some of the others that if they got close to her then she would confide in them. But maybe that would just happen on its own. Many of the people wanted her to stay here to keep her safe. Those she was working with now seemed to already have accepted her as one of their own. He would speak to some of those he trusted most later. If they could learn anything that would help them they would tell him. That would be beneficial to all of them.

He and Roy were going out scouting today with a few of the others. The group of younger lads would be delivering the supplies that were supposed to have been delivered by Ladybug. They may end up with the response to her not showing up at the expected time or possibly learn what people knew about her disappearance. He looked back at her once he was mounted on his horse. He had intended to do a last scan of their camp before they departed but she looked up at the same time and their eyes met. He didn’t look away and she refused so they were frozen there for several seconds until Roy shoved him.

“Shall I have a painting commissioned? I think that would last longer.” he dropped his voice low, “and not wish to never see you again.”

“Has she said she doesn’t wish to see me?”

“No, but I can’t repeat what she said about you. There are children present.”

Roy ruffled the hair of one of the group who would be going on his first mission. Then, he chuckled at Jason before getting astride his own horse.

—

Marinette watched as Jason and the others mounted up to go somewhere. She wasn’t sure where all of them were headed but she heard one of the younger ones say he would be delivering the supplies that she had when she had been captured. She was very happy to hear that. As much as those here needed supplies the village had been fairly desperate. She hoped the delay didn’t create too much hardship for them. Those in the camp were well fed and warm most of the time. Their chosen response to their situation granted them all they needed at the cost of being outlaws.

She could no longer go to the village. Her opportunity had been lost and now her plan had probably been revealed. She had planned to leave them some of her gold as well and perhaps a couple lucky ones would risk more for the higher value of some of her jewelry to help her get further away. But now her only option was to sneak away to try to make it another way. She knew the path that the carriage had been traveling so hopefully she could liberate some of her jewels to offer another on the way. She had a plan but she didn’t know if she would be able to pull it off. Those left behind were still watching her closely but they allowed some space after she had the opportunity to get away but she had remained. They were not suspicious of her and that would help her.

Her moment came sooner than she expected. They had washed piles of clothes and she was wringing them out and others were as well. The older ladies were hanging the clothes, leaving the younger ones to do the more intensive part. It was just how it worked. But it was work. Her fingers and arms were so sore. The next pile she passed over to be hung, she dropped. Not all of them were dirty again, but several were. She was sent back to scrub the dirt out of them once again.

She tried not to groan. She thought that it might even be a bit of a break to scrub more instead of twisting the clothes to wring them out. But the older children who were left there had already dumped the wash barrels as part of their own chores. She would have to refill the tub just to clean them. She was getting buckets of water to pour over the clothes, lugging it back and forth. People were still milling about, all focused on their own responsibilities. She rested her head and took a breath before lugging one more bucket of water. But before she lifted it, she paused.

It was quiet. She looked all around and didn’t see anyone. Just as it had been when she left her estate, it wasn’t ideal. She had no idea how long it would take for them to realize she was missing nor what their response would be. She couldn’t risk going to where the supplies were kept which was where she suspected her own jewels were. Instead she slipped into Jason’s tent. It wasn’t the biggest but he had his own while the others shared. It was very much a utilitarian set up.

She didn’t expect much from there. But a quick inspection yielded a silver emblem with a bat. She recognized it as belonging to the Wayne family. Along with it was a dagger with an emerald set into the handle. She nearly left it, but she considered that she may face danger and she would do better if she were armed. Whether the danger was from a beast or man. Using a piece of leather, she tied it high on her leg, under her dress. It was bulky but her skirt would hide it well. Looking out the opening of his tent, she waited until there was no one there and snuck out and moved quickly to the trees.

She could already hear voices searching for her but they hadn’t yet realized she had left. There were many places she could be within the camp. She wished she could have taken food with her but the midday meal had not been too long ago and if she had a good idea of where she was headed then she hoped to find safety and her next meal by nightfall.

—

Jason was very happy right now. They had intended to be out scouting for several days, but they had managed to come across a town being taxed heavily by Gabriel’s men. Instead of intervening during the process, they watched and waited to see where the men took the money. Typically when a town was taxed there would not be enough and the men would make an example out of a few. If they came upon this, they would stop them to protect the people. But now they were able to follow them to where they collected the money before returning to the Agreste estate.

He was disgusted at what he found. They were laughing at the reactions of the people while eating the food that would have kept the town from starving. He could hear how they were planning to not turn it all over to Gabriel so he would send them back to ransack the town. They wanted to hurt people. He would not let them get away easily with this. He wouldn’t just send them running away having come off badly in a fight to report back on what they found.

With a few signals he and the others quietly entered the building. Roy took two men with him to watch the back to ensure none escaped. The men inside were woefully unprepared. They were easily overrun and barely before they realized that they were under attack, they were being dragged outside and tied behind the horses for the journey back to where they had just come from. A couple stayed behind to gather the rest of what was inside while Jason and Roy went back to the town to return their taxes.

The town was quiet when they arrived. Roy used a shield to make a loud clanging sound and the people began coming out to find out what the racket was. They were confused and wary but when they saw who had come and the prisoners they had the chatter became more excited. Jason and Roy set about putting the tax men on display in the town square. The square had stocks already set up so they used those to restrain them.

“These men have taken what is not theirs and they intended to keep part for themselves so they could return and claim more.” Jason proclaimed to the crowd, “They wish to hurt you and take all your hard earned money and food to feed themselves. So while we work to return the money you have paid, I recommend sharing what you have. Feed them.”

He reached into a trough set out for the horses and pulled out a handful of the feed in there. He walked up to the closest one and crammed it into his mouth. The crowd laughed as he struggled to get away. He kicked his feet and spat out what he could. Unfazed, Jason moved on to the next one and did the same with the remainder and the part that the first one had spit out. Roy had already moved forward to continue with the third one. He gestured encouragingly to one of the townspeople who had taken a couple steps forward. He was an older man but he had a determined look on his face. He looked back at his daughter and then set his eyes on one man in particular before stepping forward.

Jason was willing to bet that the man had said something very offensive to the young lady to make the man react like that. He moved forward out of the way, allowing others to take their turn at the men. He could see some of the young farmer boys returning with buckets of pig slop. He joined the rest of his crew to expedite the return of their money and as much as the stolen food as they could recover from the depot. They finished quickly and promised to head back tomorrow before midday to send the men running before they went back to their own camp. Allowing the village to punish them on their own was better than any revenge Jason could have managed.

—

She wasn’t sure if everything was old or new bruises, but everything hurt. She had been traveling for hours and had finally come to a stream. She wished she could have found a horse but it would have been too obvious and loud. She had been able to forage some berries she recognized. She had seen some mushrooms but she couldn’t be certain of the variety so she didn’t eat them. She had eaten some bitter leaves that she knew were edible but they were not very good on their own. She tried to mix it with the berries just so she could have something in her stomach. Then she drank as much as she could of the cool water and chose to follow it hoping that it was the one that went close to where she would find Monsieur Damocles.

Nothing looked familiar but she had never come from this direction so hopefully she was still on the right path. Her feet were aching so when she came to another patch of berries she sat there and rested. Propping her back against a tree, she closed her eyes and tried not to panic. Everything looked bleak at this moment. She wished she had never left her house. It wasn’t reasonable for her to think that. She had no idea the dangers she would face if she had never left. Things looked bad now but she was in control now and away from the known harm. She was headed for safety and even if things felt bad now, they would soon be only a memory.

She was startled suddenly. She had no idea how long she had been there. She had fallen asleep but something had woken her. It was as if the hairs on the back of her neck had raised but that hadn’t been it. She had been fully asleep. Then she felt it again. A movement at the back of her neck. She jumped up and quickly pulled out the dagger. Then screamed as she realized that it was a snake that had slithered down from the tree. She slashed out as it recoiled. It darted forward trying to strike and she screamed again. This time when she slashed with the dagger, she struck true. She cut the snake right in half.

It twitched briefly before it stilled. She leaned against the tree to catch her breath. Her ears were buzzing and her chest heaved from the adrenaline but as she settled the tense feeling returned. She initially thought that it was just leftover adrenaline but she could hear rustling in the trees. Carefully, she crept around the other side of the tree and crouched down. The sounds were getting louder. It was from multiple directions and they were moving in towards where she was. They had probably heard her scream.

She could see two men on either side in front of her and then there were voices on the other side of the tree. She gripped the dagger tighter in her hand as they continued talking. Another came around the tree with a sword out. He held the snake out on the end for the others to see.

“Whoever was here won’t be far. It is a fresh kill.”

“We shall keep looking,” the other man said, coming into view. “We will find out what their purpose is in coming onto my land.”

“Monsieur Damocles?” Marinette asked, revealing herself.

She moved out of the shadows so she could be seen once she recognized him.

“Lady Marinette, what are you doing out here wandering on your own?”

She brushed herself off and approached him.

“I have been searching for you. I have been traveling on my own but I am not sure where I was exactly. I have come for your aid. There is no one else I can trust.”

“Come with me, my child. We have food and you probably want to clean up and rest.”

Taglist

#jasonette #maribat #Robinhood au #boldlyanxious #I had a rough night and need happy feels #also I'm considering unadopting my cat for giving me a rough night

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oddberryshortcake · 11 months

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For the character ask meme!

The floaty blue lava lamp, from that stupid silly card game anime spinoff show! <3

ASTRAL MY LOVE!!

What I love about them: SO much!! Gorgeous character design, I think about just how effective his design is all the damn time, he’s the perfect example of ‘ethereal beauty.’ I can only imagine how much more effective his design would be had his hair been more ‘flowy’ with better animation. But Ygo thrives on detailed still images and just look up one picture of Astral and you’ll just see- here, I’ll do it for you

Also a nonbinary legend. He/she/they take the crown.

I’ve always loved the trope of inhuman being discovering humanity for the first time, I love how well Zexal was able to execute how he changed over the course of the series- From a frankly emotionless brat who always had some snarky condescending comment say, to a genuinely kind person with some agency of his own (some, we’ll get into that.) I loved seeing each emotion he experienced, and he’s just great and underutilized despite being the most important person in the series (we’ll get into that)

What I hate about them: He was not utilized enough! It’s not his fault, it's the executives and such, but rewatching when Astral (spoilers) was genuinely disagreeing with Yuma and finding it hard to see himself going down the same path as him and trusting him again (which is huge because Astral got to a point where he trusted Yuma unconditionally and it blew up in his face bad,) what could’ve been used to voice their differences and speak up for himself more just…Did not happen. All of Astral’s thoughts stay within his head.

He gets shoved to the side a LOT for someone who is a floating plot devise and the entire reason the story is even happening. It’s been about 12 years and Astral is still viewed as an extension of Yuma in a lot of the official ygo merchandise. I love their relationship, but Astral needed to be more independent! Narratively and just in general.

Favorite Moment/Quote: I had to go back and get it, subbed episode 48- “I have no idea when I will vanish, but you have a future and infinite possibilities. Thus, I wish to leave behind the proof of my existence in your mind” (I believe dub said ‘heart’ instead of ‘mind’, both work beautifully)

Astral completely excluding himself from having a future, resigning to disappearing without a trace and no one will remember him but Yuma…and that’s all he wants out of his life. It is so damn sad that he just sort of resigns to his existence being a fickle and meaningless thing (once his mission is over) but his innocent hope of at least one person remembering him cementing itself in his friend’s grief-addled mind just aaaa! He’s just got this air of sadness that’s so !!

What I would like to see more focus on: Astral was created for one purpose only, and when that he succeeded in his mission, it’s implied that there’s just nothing after that. That he’d just be used up, dead and gone. He carries this sort of instinctual desire to self-sacrifice because that is what he’s made to do and I’m always screaming at the TV screen, just begging him to think about himself and gain a desire to live!! Screw these people who made you to fix their own mistakes! You deserve to live, Astral!

What I would like to see less focus on: Uhhh not sure really, maybe less of him just living and breathing through Yuma and more of him being his own person.

Favorite pairing with: Oh that’s easy, It’s [REDACTED] But on something I can talk about, I genuinely really enjoyed writing Goldenshipping (Jey x Astral) when you commissioned me and whenever I see the fanart I go 👀👀

Favorite friendship: Astral and Yuma are iconic (and obvious.) For a more unconventional one, the little friendship Astral and Haruto had was so genuinely wholesome (too bad those characters both aren’t really focused on at all)

Astral teaching this traumatized child how to eat with chopsticks and smiling fondly at him when his instruction works?? Fucking beautiful. I cried.

The fact that Astral was willing to give all of his numbers, his MEMORIES, to Kaito in order to save Haruto should Yuma find that the better solution. Amazing.

NOTP: Literally cannot think of any except maybe Eliphas because as much as that man denies it, that IS HIS SON

Favorite headcanon: Should Astral become human or just be able to live on Earth (away from his planet that used him and also away from toxic amounts of chaos energy that wE KNOW GENUINELY HURTS HIM TO THE POINT OF PASSING OUT?? MAYBE HE SHOULDN’T BE AROUND THAT??) I genuinely believe he’d make an amazing dueling teacher

He already taught Yuma how to duel and it’s something he’s good at and still likes. I can picture him getting tons of students and, more than half of them are there because they have a lil crush on him.

I’d be his student lmao

#asks #Zexal #Zexal Astral #I do not know his tag lol #ygo Astral #I'm sorry if there are typos I'll find them I'm sure #my hands are killing me I'm going crazy

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blubberquark · 10 months

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Blog Meta vs Tumblr Meta

When I started this tumblr, I wanted to post about game development and game design. I followed other game developers, and I posted about game design, WiP screenshots and art assets, and links to finished games. Later I started an aesthetic sideblog (reblub.tumblr.com), and posted some programming tutorials to this tumblr. Programming is not really something that interests followers who want to know when I have released a new game, or who want to reblog WiP pixel art. Then I stopped worrying and broadened the range of topics on this main blog to opinions on computer literacy, teaching programming, and contributing open source. It's my blog and you can't stop me. I might post some cooking recipes. Maybe it even helps promote my games.

If I wanted to go all-out on promoting my games, I would post a lot more visually interesting WiP stuff, and game design ideas that are directly related to games I am promoting, broken down so players who don't design their own games understand them. I would have to manually cross-post everything on mastodon, twitter, instagram, tiktok, and so on.

If I wanted to go all-out about programming tutorials, I should probably host them somewhere else. The NPF tumblr post editor does not do code blocks, or maths. I could make a series of hyperlinked pages and host them on my own domain, or I could record some screencasts and sell a course, but not on tumblr.

I don't want to do either of those anyway. I want to keep this tumblr relatively noise-free, I don't want to be my own full time social media manager posting gifs every day, and I don't want to sell webinars or online courses. I just want to keep making games, occasionally.

When tumblr enabled ads on blogs, and not just on the dashboard, I noted the lack of kickbacks for blog posters.

When Posts+ was announced, I thought about posting more gamedev tutorials. There is probably a small audience out there who would want to learn GameDev from me, but they might not be enough people to make it financially viable, and they are probably not willing and able to pay me enough. The people who are on tumblr already don't want to buy gamedev tutorial content, and when they do, they don't want to do so on tumblr.

With every new tumblr feature, I noted that it doesn't really help me write one or two posts a month. It doesn't help me publish or monetise the kind of content I want to write. The tip jar is more compatible with the way content spreads through tumblr than posts+, but it's not what I need.

The only way I can monetise a gamedev tumblr is by posting viral gifs of my game, and directing them to other platforms:

getting people to wishlist the game on Steam

promoting my itch.io page

promoting a Patreon

promoting a podcast

promoting a KickStarter

selling branded t-shirts

funnelling them into my Discord

There is no good way to monetise devlog content, game development tutorials, or long-form blog posts on tumblr.

This feels mildly concerning, but maybe it's okay. I know that many game developers started a Patreon for their podcast, a YouTube channel, a twitch stream, or a TikTok, only for that to become a larger source of revenue than their game sales. As they work on their next title, and try to drum up hype for Steam wish lists, cross-promote other games, appear on podcasts, the sales from their last game dwindle, and the revenue from YouTube ads and twitch donations grows. They are basically professional YouTubers at that point, or professional programming coaches, but without the actual game in the end, it doesn't work.

On the other hand, tumblr can still monetise me. I could decide to blaze some pretty screenshots, some .gifs, and gain followers and wishlists.

I don't know where this leaves artists on tumblr though. Tumblr is full of pixel artists who take commissions. Tumblr is full of old school oil on canvas artists. Their interests aren't aligned with the platform. Tumblr doesn't earn anything when they do commissions, and the artists don't earn anything when ads are shown on the dash next to their reblogged original content.

With all this in mind, tumblr live makes some sense.

In the mean time, I'll have a look at cohost, and I might re-work some of my drafts that require elaborate formatting into a longer-lived web site. And maybe I'll write some games!

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drowned-hubris · 4 months

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Tl/Dr: I’m taking my art down because of AI and I’m real pissed about it

So because of the whole “tumblr is feeding everyone’s blogs to an AI trainer and you have to manually opt out, but if anyone who hasn’t opted out reposts your content then it will still be fed into the AI” problem I have removed all my art from my page

Im in school, so I can’t take a job right now, which is sad because the AI art protector site i will definitely be using is only available for computers and the mobile app is still in development.

Since I’m on mobile and cant afford any kind of computer I will probably have it down until mid-summer when I can save up money from my summer job

I’ll add a few rants below the cut, but hopefully I’ll be able to share my art sooner than 6 months in the future

Also the art protection website I was talking about is called Glaze!!

So rant: No type of AI should be called “artificial intelligence.” The code isn’t intelligent, the person who wrote it was. I only say AI because Artificial Machinery isn’t a well known term. Personally, I think Ai should be saved for if the machinery gains intelligence and can make it’s own decisions that AREN’T based on facts, what it’s creators want, or what it’s programmed to do.

Show me a robot who prefers pancakes over waffles that has no outside influence other than its own fake tastebuds? Yep, that can qualify as Artificial Intelligence

Show me a robot that likes pancakes over waffles because of a popular vote its creator held or because of statistics/creator bias? That there is nothing but machinery regurgitating human information into my ears

Artificial Machinery: every Ai we have in the current day

Artificial Intelligence: some android named Randy in your cool sci-fi movie set in the year 10,000

Another thing (that probably won’t happen unless an artist is president. For gods sake, there still aren’t laws for child labor I mean family channels)

I wish there was some type of law where AIs made for mushing peoples art together and pretending it made something new was not allowed to use any image that wasn’t made for the AI.

On one hand: AI “art” bro’s would still get the ‘big titty goth anime gf’ they wanted to jack off to but didn’t want to pay for a commission

On the other hand: Actual artist wouldn’t have their creations and plagiarized and rebranded, plus some could actually make money by being hired by whatever company or studio made the AM so they could feed the paid art into it

Obviously this will never come into act while I’m either alive or at the very least can still use my hands

Also I don’t want to hear about the “oh but AI art helps disabled people !!” Just because you want to go from Zero work in art to a perfect human rendition on paper in a day doesn’t mean it helps anyone. Disabled people can still draw, they’re still human, humanity is to make art !!

Sure, maybe it won’t look exactly like that model on the magazine in your dentist office, but that doesn’t make it any less art! Art is expression, expression isn’t typing “cool scene” into a text box and getting 10 other artist’s work mushed together handed to you! Expression doesn’t have to be pretty or copy/paste or the standard, it’s whatever you want it to be. I promise, anyone truly in the art community would value a few stick figures over stolen, fake art.

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calavanda · 2 years

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I've already ranted on Twitter about how much I yearned for more Hawks and Deku interactions... Yeah, I'mma copy and paste that for here too because I'm bored and thinking about them makes me happy-

Also, as I'm typing this, Tumblr is showing me that there are huge gaps between paragraphs and I'm hoping it goes away when I post this cuz I can't fix it and it's driving me nuts-

----

I wanna talk about how I wish I had more moments between Deku & Hawks. Even tho they don't share that many similarities compared to other characters that relate to them separately, I feel like these two still share something while also being different.

Hawks and Deku, to me, are two major examples of the next generation of heroes. They both have different ways of tackling situations while at the same time having similar goals where they just want to help people and be able to smile with everyone else. Both of them are willing to sacrifice their mind and body for the greater good.

Hawks did so by becoming a hero for the Commission and despite knowing the truth of society, the truth of his role, he doesn't escape because of his dream. Hawks is more aware than anyone that their society is dependent on dependency; that they need heroes and villains. That the system functions by being broken. What's worse is that he may not even know how to fix society without breaking it from what it's always known. But he doesn't do anything about it because of how dependent he is himself on the Commission. They made him who he is. As selfless as he can be, he can't help but be selfish about that until the Commission falls from its own failures. It isn't until the Commission is, well, out of commission that Hawks can finally do something for himself and for others. The way he wants.

On the other hand, Deku has grown up in this society as an audience member; he was a quirkless kid until he met All Might. It's clear that even since Deku gained OFA, his views on heroes have shifted due to all the crazy crap this kid has gone through. It's because of these experiences that even his goal has changed from "saving people with a smile on my face" to "saving people with a smile and have nobody worry about him." Sounds similar to Hawks wanting "to create a world where people have too much time on their hands." A world where nobody has to worry.

But despite all this, his idea of a hero doesn't change. That idea follows him during and after the war, most from Shigaraki's words about society rejecting him and how it's treated those who follow him, which are words targeted towards him and the heroes he admires by someone deemed a villain. Seeing heroes step down after society unleashed anger and fear upon them was something he took note of, but it wasn't until Deku's encounter with Lady Nagant that Deku starts to see the truth of society even more. But despite now having an insight of just how toxic their society truly was, that doesn't hold him back from wanting to reach out to people, hero or villain. He realizes it's not just black and white. And now his motivation grows to help, just like Hawks. And just like how Hawks sacrificed his sense of self for the greater good by being a pawn, Deku sacrifices his self worth and well being for the greater good, but unlike Hawks, has a more open heart and mind to everyone. Hawks may have offered Twice a hand, but it's clear that his mind and heart isn't so open to everyone. Twice was a different case because he unintentionally grew on Hawks, forming an actual bond. In the end, though, he stuck to his training and is probably more hesitant than ever to do something like that again.

Anyways, Hawks and Deku share the same mindset about their own worth as a human being and despite the Commission being down, despite 1-A still reaching out a hand to Deku, they both still struggle a bit with whether or not they should value themselves that way. Both of them are a part of a team to "bring everything back", but it's clear they don't want things to go back to the way they were. They want to continue to chase their goals of helping everyone and making a peaceful world. Sure as hell ain't gonna be easy though. Their current society is very broken and, as Nagant said, will continue to hurt those behind the scenes if they bring back the status quo. I think we all hope that these two, among many others, will discover ways to rebuild society.

And for a couple small but obvious similarities:

・Having a Pro Hero give them indirect hope just to get through their childhood

・Actually got a glimpse of villains being real people

・Befriended a guy with prehistoric behavior but can also be calm and intelligent-

・Smart as fuck like wh-

・Somehow have a tolerance for pain (how tf are Deku and Hawks still alive fr-)

・Truthfully dedicated and optimistic (to a fault ;>)

----

#hawks and deku sibling energy #hawks and deku #Hawks and Midoriya #izuku midoriya #keigo takami #hawks bnha #wing hero hawks #bnha deku #my hero academia #bnha #Mha #mha tangent

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bellybiologist · 5 months

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Commission Price changes coming soon (Next month)

Okay, I've been putting it off on the rare chance i'd somehow materialize 500 more dollars a month from patreon or something, but I think it's time to bite the bullet and increase my commission prices again. This is because of these reasons:

At the moment, I'm barely breaking even, and the winter bill increases and problems-that-needs-addressing in the past few months have made it impossible to actually save money.

I'm drawing as physically and as mentally quickly possible. I'm trying to not to push myself into burnout or physically hurting myself, but im always teetering on this edge. I find myself constantly apologizing for going so slowly, and wish I could draw faster and just knock several things out of the park every week, but that would definitely cost me in some way that may not be recoverable… or at the very least cost a lot in product quality! And I want to make sure you guys are happy with your pieces!

As it stands, my patreon hasn't been able to gain the traction it needed to keep me afloat. Which is ultimately fine, but I have to compensate with a commission price increase since that seems to be where a lot of people's interests are falling these paste few months.

Prices have not been finalized, but I'm debating between several methods of price increasing. Such as:

A flat percentage increase across the board. Easiest to implement.

A large increase in the 1st figure's price, to account for correspondence and adjustment work that often makes commissions take longer. ie. $100 for a figure, then $60 for subsequent ones of the same size in the same piece.

Removing the WIP phase for commissions, and offering a pricier bracket that allows that back and forth correspondence. YCHs will be getting a price increase for this too, though it'd still be lower than the current normal figures. This will allow much faster completion of commissions.

Please let me know any thoughts about these! Feedback pertaining to what would still be attractive to you would be useful while I ponder my options.

I unfortunately cant let myself ruminate on this for too long cuz the bills will not wait on my indecision! So I'm aiming to have a final decision within the next week, and for w/e decision I have to be active by february 14th.

If you want pieces using the current prices, feel free to jump on the list between now and than, even if you're already waiting on a piece. To avoid possible insanity, I will allow a single customer to have a max of 4 figures on the list at a time before the price change, whether its all one big piece, or 4 individual ones. Ones already on the list are free to alter or add their orders, too, since i've already been doing that anyway! These updates will be reflected on the commission form as well.

As always, thanks to everyone and their continued support!

#announcement #commissions

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writeblrsvoid · 8 months

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I’m just gonna rant a bit

so I decided to sign up for a Halloween writing exchange, where my gifted has a lot of great requests for their fic. And it only needs to be a 1k one shot which is not that big, in comparison to what I have done before. Like that’s what 100 words a day to be turned into my Halloween right? And I have managed that before.

But due to my irl work (nearly a dozen commissioned pieces) which does have a looming deadline for a VERY well known organization that’s sort of internationally known, and will have a good monetary gain on my part. And due to IRL emergencies I will be having to double my workload to support the person I know who IS having those emergencies.

a single commissioned piece has taken me 12+ hours to create. And that is still without quite a few pieces to work on. My relative has been getting well again, but they do believe that they will be able to finish in time for this deadline and they have yet designed the templates for their commissions. I feel they are wildly optimistic of this with our already extended deadlines.

to meet the deadline I have around 6 weeks, but more likely 5 as I will have to do the finishing steps for my pieces. This means I need to finish steps two and three for each piece by week 5.

so I will need to do one piece a week if I ONLY did my commissioned pieces.

but I will probably have to do my relative’s pieces as well, and that adds nearly a dozen more pieces for me to do. Designing. Placing. Actually working on the stuff. Then the four other steps on top of that. And then, I gotta ship that stuff. And any other things I can squeeze in if I want to be generous and or payed for the extras.

which means around 3 pieces per week, and that’s best case when I will hopefully be able to do 2 a week.

currently I am working on my 5th piece, with my first piece needing only 30ish minutes max to have it ready for the next step. My third piece is unfinished as I need time away from it which will need a couple more hours work.

and then I have a short workshop later, birthdays and a second western holiday I have to do. On top of the other non work IRL stuff

this has made it hard for me to set aside time for a voluntary works. Which I don’t like, and have put about 30 words into and have basic ideas for every single suggestion. Which is better than nothing, but I still feel as though I’m getting nothing done and I do not want to drop out as this would be my first exchange with another person. And I do know that I must do what is best for me and etc, but I committed to the exchange.

I know that I have a certain style of writing that I can do that is quick and prompt, and I do love this style very much. But it has never even broached 400 words! I don’t know what to do.

the mod of the exchange has said that the word count can be broken up between stuff, but nothing is really speaking to me. my ‘Clicker’ style has potential for one of the ideas, but I have no idea for it more then dispatcher and ‘recording the events for training purposes’

the other idea I have for the Clicking style might not make sense as it follows people before electronics. Maybe breaking the count up between each character?

I just hope I don’t get burnt out in either project because I haven’t been able to really find a story that scratches my brainrot right or engage with a story to enjoy it.

I’m not to sure. Sorry for a rant that isn’t entirely a writing thing

I hope that you figure it out. Don't forget to rest! Especially during such a stressful time. Yes, it's important to make your deadlines, but you won't make them if you're not taking care of yourself. Drink fluids, eat food, get rest! <3 you'll figure it out, I'm sure. Trust in yourself.

🤍

Best wishes to you, Nons!

#the void shouts back #anonymous

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princess-ibri · 1 year

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Would you be willing to share some more information about your Frozen OC Karen?

Sure!

She's based on Karen from The Red Shoes, so her backstory in my DisneyVerse is such:

She's was born in the kingdom of Glowerhaven and grew up poor but happy until she was orphaned at the young age of seven. She was taken in by a great aunt who was wealthy but had never tried to help Karen's parents in life due to disaproving of her neice’s marriage to a poor man.

One of the first things this aunt did was burn a pair of red shoes Karen owned, one of the last presents her parents gave her (made to match those of the young Princess Ida she'd seen once and admired) as the aunt thought they were too old and besides that too vain for a child to wear.

And from there she was kept at the beck and call of this aunt, made to do all she wished and forbidden from playing with 'common' children and especially from dancing, another thing she loved, as it too was deemed unseemingly for a proper young lady.

When Karen was about 13, she saw the young Princess Ida of Glowerhaven agin, wearing red shoes and dancing on her balcony, and she thought that she'd like to have the power a princess had, so that she could be free to wear beautiful things and dance and have no one be able to tell her differently.

She realized as she grew up that her physical beauty granted her some power in that it made people treat her differently than they had when she was just a poor dirty girl on the streets. And so she began to use it to her advantage to win people over, becoming rather vain and self obsorbed, delighting in playing the coquette and making people trip over themselves to please her.

When she was 18 she was taken to court to be presented to the Queen of Glowerhaven and the rest of Society, and scandalized her aunt and several others by wearing a pair of red shoes (which she'd had specially commissioned) when she was meant to wear all white.

Karen was quite pleased with the attention this gained her though, thinking her display of independence had gained her another point of victory in the court games--until her aunt started to go off on her for being wanton and wilfull and how she'd see to it that she'd be kept at home or locked away in a convent for the rest of her life. The aunt also demanded that this new pair of red shoes be burned the same as the first pair had been, and forced Karen to watch as they burned away.

At this point Karen ran from the manor and out into the streets, knowing she wouldnt be able to go far before her aunts men caught her, but distraught and furious and scared and wanting to do something--and in just the right frame of mind to listen to the proposal of a strange old soldier who appeared at the crossroads, offering her freedom and power to do whatever she wished, to be able to out dance the wind itself--if she'd be willing to make a bargain with him.

Which was how Karen found herself with a new pair of red dancing shoes, ones that made her thr greatest dancer anyone had ever seen, and she could never take off--traveling the lands in the strange company of the Old Soldier Voland, doing his bidding and fulfilling his schemes, and wondering if she hadn't traded one prison for another...

***

Jumping to the future after the Frozen 3 adventures, I like to think that she and Hans settle down somewhere by the sea side where they can just have a chill life away from terrible family members and evil demon bosses, and maybe even have a kid eventually (though given their own upbringings they take their time deciding on if thats something they actually want or not)

Let me know if there's anything else you'd like to know about her or any of my other OCs!

#asks #karen frozen #my ocs #disney ocs #DisneyVerse #frozen #frozen 3 #voland frozen

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pjisskullourful · 7 months

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hey my gorgeous ones!

so my funk is continuing(hoofuckinray). theres just some shit going on in my personal life& the emotional fatigue has bled into creative constipation& im really struggling to get much of anything written. i've switched off commissions for the moment, just wanting to take it a bit easy on myself while im trying to get back on my bullshit

as a please-dont-hate-me for the delays that are ongoing, here is the first almost 2k of chapter 25 of stained sheets. its all i have sofar, there are two whole more scenes to write so i genuinely cant say when you'll be getting it

thanks for any patience& understanding you swing my way. stay selfishly happy my thotties

You paused from closing the fly on your high-waisted pants - you had been trying on the outfit you wanted to wear to dinner tonight, but something had caught your eye, distracting you.

A jagged, dark line reached up from just above the waistband of your underwear. This stretch mark was brand new to your eyes. It hit you like an actual wound, your gut twisting and your mind racing.

As your throat clenched, you stopped caring about checking that your choice of outfit was cute or not. You hated this intruder on the side of your tummy. This new line was a failure on your part, maybe if you weren’t so lazy, or spent less time playing video games, you could have avoided gaining another mark in your ugly collection. You were frozen with the top of your pants in your hands.

How long had this mark been on your body? Had Damiano seen it - what did he think when he looked at it?

This was supposed to be a fun day - the day before Easter, and some friends of his were hosting a dinner that would end in an egg hunt through their garden. You were going to be meeting more of the people he had grown up with. But most importantly, you were getting to spend the whole weekend with him, there hadn’t been many of those so far this year. There was no Måneskin-business to take him out of the country, he was just your boyfriend this weekend.

You didn’t want to waste any of this precious time with your insecurities. You wished you hadn’t seen the line, because it hadn’t been as simple as noticing it. You were having a full reaction to it. The change of mood inside of you was almost a tangible sensation.

You didn’t know how to resolve it, you just knew that you wanted the unpleasantness to stop. Your solution was to physically move away from it. You undressed without completing the try-on process, so desperate to walk away and pretend this negativity didn’t exist. You just needed to refresh yourself and then you would be able to get back on the right track.

“I’m gonna have a shower.” You loudly announced without knowing if he actually heard you. He might be outside having a cigarette, or otherwise occupied too far from the bedroom.

You went into the bathroom and stopped at the vanity, pulling your hairbrush out of a draw. You took your hair down and started brushing through any tangles. Standing in front of the wide mirror, it wasn’t easy to keep your concentration on your hair. Your eyes wanted to wander, to find other flaws in the reflection to tear yourself apart over.

Until you were given the perfect distraction. Your boyfriend came into the room, his figure filling the reflection behind you. He was dressed in only a pair of underwear, wearing a festive headband on top of his short hair. It was enough to make you smile, even though you had to feign annoyance.

“Take those off.” You said as sternly as you could manage.

“You got it, baby.” He said, promptly taking his briefs off.

You were amused, even as you rolled your eyes. You turned your back on the mirror, more than happy to put all of your attention on him. “I meant the bunny ears and you know it.”

The fuzzy rabbit ears remained fixed on his head as he furrowed his brow. “I’m confused, do you want me to put the underwear back on?”

“Damiano.” You warned, but this only resulted in getting him to say your name back to you, in a sing-songy way, delivered with a positively devilish smile. “I never should have let you take the ears from my office…”

His eyes grew wide and he pointed an accusing finger at you. “You were the one who took them.”

You let this unserious discussion progress, exaggerating your shock. “How dare you accuse me.”

“No, how dare you. I was just there to pick you up from work. You were the one who pulled them out of the cute little window display and put them on my head.” He said.

“I didn’t think you were going to walk out still wearing them. And I was kind of distracted, I was working.” You added to his recollection. “Now you must take them off before they get stretched or broken ‘cause I’ve gotta put them back, they’ll probably be part of next year’s Easter display.”

He resisted, still. “I like them. You have to agree that they look better on me than they did in the window.”

“I agree.” You said. “Now take them off.”

The thing that was stopping you from simply snatching the accessory off of him, was the knowledge of how getting too close to him would change this situation entirely. He could physically overpower you in an instant and any illusion of you having some control would be banished.

“You can ask nicer than that, kitty.” He said, very clearly enjoying this teasing.

“Can you please take the ears off for me, please and thank you.” You said, even clasping your hands together in front of yourself to further sell it.

He cocked his head to the side. “I didn’t hear a single word you said. It’s kinda hard to hear you over all of those clothes you’re wearing.”

You reminded yourself how much you enjoyed being called a ‘good girl’ as inspiration to help you bite back any sarcastic comments. You even resisted the urge to roll your eyes.

You removed the two items that you were wearing - a bra and a pair of panties. You cupped your hands to either side of your mouth and spoke at a much higher volume. “Can you hear me now?”

He smiled and nodded. “Yes, did you have a request for me or something?”

“Can you please take those ears off for me, please?” You asked.

“Why, of course I can.” He said, plucking the accessory off of his head. “Here you go.”

You snatched it out of his hand, holding it securely in both of yours. “I’m gonna find someplace to hide these from you.”

“I can’t imagine why you would think that’s necessary. I’ll get the shower started while you do that, shall I?”

This made you pause from leaving the room. “Oh, you’re joining me?”

“Yeah, unless that’s not okay? I thought we should shower together, to save water.” He said.

You smirked. “To save water. Yep, that’s fine.”

You carried the confiscated item over to where you kept your work bag. It was enough to put it into your bag and shut the zipper. If he pulled it out of there he would be in the wrong - you’d both know it, and any argument would be in your favour.

When you returned to the bathroom, it was to find him standing under the stream of water. You were further distracted from your earlier issues as you admired how great he looked when soaking wet.

He turned his head and smiled at the sight of you, beckoning you in with a curling of his finger. You stepped in, sliding the door shut behind yourself. You shouldn’t have been surprised when he was instantly drawing you in for kisses, his hands cradling your face. There were times when the two of you could share a focused shower, spending as much time washing yourselves as you did making out.

But the look he had given you had indicated that this wasn’t the case for today. You linked your arms around his waist, indulging in this as the noise of the persistent water blocked out everything else. You felt how easy it would be to melt as his mouth worked tenderly against yours.

His hands left your face, slowly moving down to where the water had already reached. He started to kiss his way off of your mouth, his lips pressing against your chin before going lower. You couldn’t help arching your back into him as his lips worked across your throat. This was the closeness that you absolutely ached for when he was away, showers (like pretty much everything else) were so dull without him.

But -

“I need to wash my hair. This shower was supposed to have purpose.” You said.

He stopped what he was doing to look up at you. “Nobody’s stopping you from washing your hair. Look, I’ll even help. I’ve got lots of time to help with washing your hair these days.”

“I could return the favour and use my volumising shampoo on your hair.” You said of his well maintained buzzcut.

He wore a deadpan expression, blinking at you. “Hilarious. I swear, you’ve missed your calling in life. You shouldn’t be doing admin work- stand-up comedy, that’s where you should be. Netflix would give you a special so fast.”

“Because I’m a special girl.” You said as he let go of you to grab the shampoo bottle.

The intimacy wasn’t totally lost in this process. The two of you remained standing very close together (even though there was ample room for each of you in here) and you took every opportunity to touch him.

When he began to massage the shampoo into your scalp, you could have let out a moan of pleasure. You shut your eyes and soaked up every second of his attentiveness. His fingers slowly dragging across your scalp was the only thing that you needed right now.

“Stop making that face.” He said, his voice so stern that your eyes instantly snapped open, you were practically ready to apologise at once. “That’s a sex face and if you keep it up you’re gonna get me hard, which isn’t the purpose of this shower, right?”

You almost began giggling, you covered your face with both of your hands. “I didn’t mean to. I, I guess I was enjoying myself a little too much.”

“I’ll say.”

You parted your fingers to peek at him. “Did I really do a sex face?”

“Oh, yes. If you want me to get specific- it was your edging face. When I see that face I know that I’m doing it right and your brain is getting all empty.” He said before instructing you to tilt your head back under the stream of water.

As he rinsed all of the product out of your hair, you physically cringed. “Oh my God, I hope I don’t make that face when they’re washing my hair at the hairdressers.”

“Relax baby, I’m the only one who knows that face is linked to naughtiness.” He said.

You tried your best to stay in constant awareness, and control, over your facial expressions as he conditioned your hair. The lack of massaging on your scalp kept you from that floaty feeling.

“What do you think, is that up to your standards?” He asked, losing the careful look on his face that he had been wearing during this task.

You tested his work by running your fingers through the ends of your hair. “It feels perfect. Thank you, Daddy.” You reached out to tap the end of his nose.

#fic preview #send praise #send reference pics

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thelilnan · 1 year

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little vent

i have been So unhappy with myself recently (at least six months), and I wonder how much is directly impacted by losing my Bubbie last may. or just my own bad choices and bad luck. I don't wanna say it has much, if anything, to do with me turning 30 a few weeks ago. but then again birthdays like that do make you ask yourself "What have I accomplished?"

not a ton, at least not stuff I want to do, especially professionally. somehow i feel like I always miss the boat or everyone knows stuff I don't, even when I try to figure it out, ask questions, take chances. it's frustrating. i graduated with a master's 3 years ago and haven't been able to find anything even remotely related to art. and not that freelancing is necessarily that far off from what I want to do, but hunting down clients is so daunting and unreliable, it's just insulting half the time. so i do commissions and door dashing and while it's okay, it's barely scraping by. and it's not what I want to be doing at 30. just objectively.

i have such a fun time doing conventions though. when the sales are good. but they're not always good, because I serve a niche market. and that's hit or miss. it missed big time this last convention. i didn't break even, and I'm really not in a financial position to lose money.

i don't know. it's a new month and adhd brain says now is the time to start again. so I am. I've given up drinking, at least for this month (my dependency on it has been a little irresponsible and out of control. it's affected my mood, my health, my productivity. i wouldn't say it's alcoholism necessarily, because I dont have any withdrawl symptoms, but it was excessive. anyway.), and i've tried to become more active because i know half my insomnia is linked to unused energy (which would lead me to drink so i could fall asleep, you see the issue here). then i'd wake up at like 2pm, get nothing done, cycle repeats.

but! the last couple days i've gone on walks of at least 1.5 miles, and today (weather related) i did my first 30 min cardio set in over a year. i'm proud of that. it's still not what i wanna be doing, i wish i could just reset myself to 2019 before all these issues came up, before i gained 20 lbs and drank 4 tall beers a night (or more, honestly. worst it got was a bottle of wine in addition to it all) and lost a lot of motivation to even try to develop myself as a person or artist.

but what's that saying? the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. the second best time is today. so i'm doing that.

slow starts. healthy routines will lead to productivity and maybe even a fuckin job. whatever that is!

anyway thanks for reading. please don't fuckin reblog this lmao.

#do not reblog ;#srsly #cw alcohol #cw body image #little zeller things

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nellie-elizabeth · 1 year

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The Legend of Vox Machina: The Hope Devourer (2x12)

I don't want to wait for more!!!

Cons:

Okay, to start, didn't really need the second shot of the dragon's innards and asshole. Like, we just saw it in the last episode, not sure what was added by showing it again. I'm not being a prude, it's just not a funny gag to me when we have to belabor the point! We get it, it's gross!

I have two "big" complaints here, and by "big" I mean that I absolutely adored this episode so, so, much and will be giving it high marks but these were just two things that kind of made me go "huh".

First, I wish Umbrasyl had looked more beat up before the killing blow. The Herd of Storms, all the buildup, the trap building, Vax and Scanlan going inside the dragon, and then none of it matters because Umbrasyl heals himself immediately in the cave and seems to be relatively unfazed by all of their attacks up until Scanlan takes the killing blow. I think this would have been an easy fix. Instead of having Umbrasyl fully heal to show off to Ripley, show him healing his cuts a bit, but there's still some wound visible. During the fight in the cave, I noted that Umbrasyl didn't use his acid breath as much. Maybe that was meant to be the evidence that he was in some way affected by the earlier encounter, but I could have used a verbal call-out. Maybe someone notices that it's taking him longer to build up to more of an acid blast, so they're all trying to attack in those windows of time. Or something. My point here is that it feels weird for all of the help they were able to get from Grog's herd to amount to absolutely zero gain. I like the idea of Vox Machina being hugely outmatched by Umbrasyl, obviously, but still. The way it played out made it seem like Scanlan one-shotted that dragon. That because he stabbed him in the eye with a Vestige, that was game over all on its own. But then it kind of feels like if Grog had punched him in the eye with his vestige, or Vex had shot him with her vestige, that could have ended it too, you know? I didn't sense the cumulative damage weighing on Umbrasyl until Scanlan's final brave attack finished him off, and that's the way I would have preferred to feel.

The other complaint isn't even so much a complaint as just an observation that I don't really know what to do with... it occurs to me that season one of this show ended with Vox Machina getting praise from a state leader, and then a big uh-oh as we learn that dragons are coming. Season two of this show ends with Vox Machina getting praise from a state leader, and then a big uh-oh as we learn there's a dragon in the room with us, and some more baby dragons on the way. It's not a problem, so much as it feels like the final episode of both seasons had very structurally similar final scenes, and that can make the story feel cyclical, instead of like an escalation. Season one had four full-grown dragons flying directly at Emon. And I know those dragons have wreaked serious havoc on Emon and Westruun and Pyrah and beyond, but this final button kind of just reiterates the threat we've already established: these dragons are super bad and things might get worse.

Pros:

But whatever. Who cares about any of that, this was awesome!!!

In contrast to it feeling like Umbrasyl could have kept fighting indefinitely, it was cool to see our group of heroes in the most dire straits yet. Grog and several of the others with physical injuries they can't shake, Pike and Keyleth both so exhausted in their magic that their spells are taking more and more effort, and the results are more and more feeble. Vax half-conscious for half the fight, for fuck's sake. They really were at the end of the line before Scanlan pulled off his last trick and saved the day. Grog's injuries from his fall were severe, and while Pike was able to get him almost back to fighting shape, his leg was out of commission for the rest of the fight, which I thought was a cool way to put limitations on him here. It was an unspoken contrast to his physical weakness from earlier, which he couldn't handle, whereas now he fights through it, since he's learned his lesson about where to find his strength.

Jumping back, we start the episode with Scanlan dreaming of an imagined future where he's telling stories to his grandkids about his heroic exploits. The portrait of Vox Machina made me tear up a little. Vax with the silly mustache, still in the armor... I'm not going to be okay when this show ends, holy shit. And I liked Vax's panic trying to wake him up from the dream, too. These two got such good moments in the last two episodes, I love seeing this pair get attention. I'm always praising the way this show finds moments for the background relationships to flourish.

And then we get Vax's wing moment! I very much adore the scene with Gilmore in the original stream, but come on: in the same way that Grog learning his strength comes from his friends was moved to a pivotal climactic action sequence, having Vax discover his wings here, as he's plummeting to his death along with Scanlan, was pitch fucking perfect. It looked visually stunning, and everybody's reactions were amazing too. Scanlan says he's in love with Vax (relatable), Keyleth tells him he's beautiful (relatable), and Vex gets annoyed that she's stuck with a broom while her brother gets actual WINGS. I love all of them so, so much.

Vax seems to really have embraced his new mantle now, talking to the group about fate, the way they've all been led here. He brings up all the people in their lives who have been involved in this hunt for the vestiges: his and Vex's family, Keyleth's people, Grog's herd... and how none of that was happening by chance. It was all leading here, to this. They're supposed to be here. Scanlan can't accept that, but Vax is ready to, come what may.

On the romance front, we get the following developments: Keyleth chickens out of saying something to Vax as he goes in to scope out Umbrasyl's lair. It's a sweet moment, as Vax gives her a soft little smile and seems to be a little less withdrawn than he has been for most of the season. We also get Percy and Vex having so many cool moments in battle where they heroically save each other from danger and call out each other's names in fear when the other one is in peril... I eat that shit up every time, you know I do.

And SCANLAN AND PIKE coming in with the steal... after Scanlan's big heroic moment where he realizes he needs to step up and take what belongs to him, and save his friends in the process, Vox Machina finds him on the ground, apparently dead. Pike cries over him and gives him a kiss, and then Scanlan wakes up... I loved that Pike was annoyed for half a second and then just gives the BIGGEST smile and pulls him into a hug. Y'all, I can't believe the glow-up of this ship for me. I liked the concept fine in the stream, but here I'm just so freakin' obsessed with it. Truly excellent stuff. Also, Scanlan, hold onto this moment, buddy. Did you see how relieved everyone was that you were okay? They love you, Scanlan. They're your family. (I had to have this pointed out to me, but that key that Scanlan gets in the dragon's hoard is totally for the Magnificent Mansion, isn't it??)

As always I find it hard to talk about what's cool in the combat, but I remain consistently impressed by the little character moments that are interwoven throughout the action. Vex catching Vax as he falls dangerously close to the pit of acid, the shot of Percy and Vax holding each other up as Percy takes a shot, clearly weakened, Pike and Grog coming in for the surprise attack after the rest of them had already been worn down, Keyleth using vines to pull Grog out of danger when it's clear none of them are making a serious dent in Umbrasyl's health... I love all these small moments and my attention is always riveted to the screen to catch every single one.

And another Scanlan and Vax moment to round things out, as Scanlan says he doesn't believe in all that fate stuff, but Vax does. And he believes in Vax. Why is that the cutest, sweetest thing I've ever heard???

Despite my complaint above about the structural similarity between this ending and the one for season one, I did enjoy the last scene a lot. I love watching Cassandra in her element. I was wondering when Raishan was going to make her appearance, and the idea of making it Keeper Yennen who serves as the disguise works so well! Surprising for fans of the stream, even though we knew��something like this must be coming! I of course loved Vax calling out "Shaun!" and catching him as he slumps to the table, and all of Vox Machina calling out in alarm as their friends fall unconscious around them. This is a show that never fails to emphasize the care and love that these characters have for each other and the people around them.

I think it's what elevates it for me above everything else, honestly. I've watched plenty of shows where there was a ton of action and violence and chaos, where it would be a big deal, a very special moment, when we actually got to see any two given characters share a moment of affection or connection. In this show, as with the stream, it's constant that we see moments of them checking in with each other, reaffirming their care and support. And I for one can't wait to see how that all continues, knowing the plot points we'll be facing in future.

9/10

#review #tlovm #tlovm review #critical role #the legend of vox machina

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