#i want to go to kol nidre but

[adira5780]

G'mar chatima tova everyone.

I hope you find this Yom Kippur meaningful however you are observing it.

[frances-baby-houseman]

Something that has been stressing me out UNBELIEVABLY, like wakes me up in the middle of the night, cannot stop thinking about it, freaking out on the regular, is that we have to join a synagogue by September. Alice HAS to start religious school-- bat mitzvah prep starts in third grade!!

For awhile we went to adam's dad's congregation in Northfield, but they had a bad cantor transition and that combined with COVID meant we fully stopped going after being pretty engaged members for 5ish years. We don't want to go back there, but where!?

We tried a VERY FANCY congregation in the fall, bc Joe's friend's family goes there and it's close to our house, but I did not get the right feeling there. They did not do the right tune for Kol Nidre! And also we learned that adam's cousin bedbugs goes there and I'm sorry I have such a complex about her, our girls are the same age and love each other which is great, cousins should love each other, but I cannot handle being in the same bat mitzvah class!! We are not hedge funge mengeaners!! So that was out. But where?!?!?!?

I was literally crying and crying about this yesterday to both Adam and my work bestie bc you're just supposed to go where your family goes!!! But adam's family abandoned us!!

And then! This morning! In my canasta group we have a side chat for the jewish girls so we can share jewish events, and one of the women texted us an event at a local temple for next week and I was like, OMG YES TELL ME MORE WE ARE SYNAGOGUE SHOPPING! And two of the other women are also, and we were like, let's do this together! so one of them gave us the rundown on everywhere, and she actually said our best bet was probably the congregation that Adam's aunt and uncle go to! They love it and I've been a few times and didn't love it, but they've since merged with another congregation and have a really good reputation. So we're going to try it out, and another temple down the street from my house that's having a yom ha atzmaut party next week.

Look at that! Look at hashem giving me a little life boat! And maybe I will join with my new friends!!

[internerdionality]

There’s some language in my Haggadah (stolen and slightly paraphrased from The Common Road to Freedom, 1989), that’s been echoing in my head for the last couple of weeks: 

We sing Dayeinu to proclaim that every one of the miracles on the path to liberation “would have been enough” even if the road to freedom had not been completed by the miracles that followed.  What does this mean, however, that it would have been enough? Surely no single one of these would have been enough; halfway to freedom is still to be a slave.  Dayeinu means we must celebrate each step toward freedom as if it were enough, then to start out on the next step. It means that if we reject each step because it is not the whole liberation, we will never achieve it. It means to sing each verse as if it were the whole song—and then sing the next verse!

This isn’t the first year I’ve used this particular excerpt, and for that matter, it isn’t even the only place that the Haggadah, or Judaism as a whole, makes this same point. 

For example, there’s a midrash we retell on the night of the seder, about our rebellion during the exodus from Egypt, when we came to the Red Sea. Most modern depictions—for example, my beloved Prince of Egypt—shows Moses venturing into the water alone and raising his staff to part the waters so that the Israelites could pass through on dry land. According to this midrash however, Moses simply told us that the waters would part—once we’d gone in. For obvious reasons, most of us said “ahh, yeah, dude; no thanks. Not gonna drown ourselves to prove a point, yeah?” But a few particularly determined—or simply despairing—souls walked into the ocean on faith alone, and only when they were in up to their necks did the waters part and allow them through. 

As someone who has never been much of one for blind faith, this story both thrills and terrifies me. The Common Road to Freedom takes a different lesson from this Midrash, however; 

“Now as then” it reads, “redemption cannot come unless we take that first fearful step.” 

And, of course, we have the ubiquitous (if you follow the tumblr blogs I do, at least) language from Pirkei Avot: “it is not incumbent upon you to finish the task, but neither are you free to abandon it.” 

We start the holiest day of the year with the prayer (for lack of a better word) of Kol Nidre—“May all vows, and promises, and oaths that  I swear, between this year and the next, be null and void.” 

This legalistic disclaimer (which, you know, really tells you all you need to know about us Jews right there, doesn’t it) is meant to keep people from hesitating as, with the confessions of sins they have committed in the previous year ringing in their ears, they promise yet again not to sin in the year to come.  

To break a promise, for a Jew, is a devastating and grievous act. Therefore, before you make a promise, before you really commit yourself to doing something, you better be damn sure that it’s something you can complete! We recite kol nidrei to remind ourselves that we should not hesitate to set challenging goals for ourselves, despite the honest and realistic fear of attempting something we may not succeed at. We shouldn’t keep from trying something, from continuing to work at something, even if it might be really fucking hard. Even if it feels like we might never get good at it. 

But despite this core principle of my religion, that’s something I’ve always really struggled with. I don’t like doing things I suck at. I get crushed when I don’t succeed. For all my life, I’ve quit doing things—or never started them in the first place—if it seemed like I was never going to be great at them. I recognized this about myself some years ago, and it’s been something I’ve been working to change—but there are still times when I realize I’ve been doing it without knowing. 

I’ve always wanted to write fiction—and it was something I thought I was pretty decent at, so I got over that hump, at least. But I went for years thinking that if I didn’t have a completed manuscript that I could market to publishing companies, I couldn’t call myself a writer, and if I didn’t have a real brilliant, fully formed idea for that novel, there was no point in even trying to write it. Even once I started writing fanfic, I felt like I had to have a finished, polished story before I put anything out there. 

But if we reject a step because it is not the whole achievement, we will never find success. Nothing will come unless I take that first, fearful step. I shouldn’t hesitate to begin something just because I’m not sure I can ever finish it. 

I have thirty or more fics that I’ve outlined or started writing in the past year, only to abandon them “until I have time to finish them” — or rather, until I get the inspiration and/or hyperfocus to do so. But unless I’m really, really excited about and know exactly where a fic is going, I have a real hard time writing it… Especially without people cheering me along, because I’ll get to a point where I’ll write a chapter or a passage that I don’t like and can’t figure out right away how to fix, and then I’ll just stop writing it because I think it’s bad.

But you know what? The joy of fanfic is that it doesn’t have to be perfect. That no matter what you right, there’ll be probably be someone out there who likes it (and if there isn’t, hey, you can only get better at writing by doing it, right?!). Two of my most popular fics are ones that started out as pure crack and so I felt free to publish as I went along. I’ve really enjoyed the interactive process of publishing a fic even as I’m writing it, and how the comments affect what I’m writing as I go along. 

Anyway! All of this was an incredibly long-winded and introspective way of saying, I’m going to start digging through that WIPs folder and putting anything that has at least one finished chapter out there. I’m going to start publishing things as soon as I’ve got a good chunk of text written, even if the fic isn’t done. Even if I’m not sure where it’s going or if I’ll ever finish it! 

Screw it. I’m putting the fics out there. And if, after honest effort, I find myself unable to complete them, then may my readers absolve me of them.

[flagbridge]

All Vows Ch 20/21: The Music of All Vows

Phantom of the Opera: E/C, R/C, C/M, Post-Leroux/ALW Canon; Redemption Arc 140K Words, 40 Chapters, 18+

This week we have a double-chapter post of All Vows Chapter 20: A New Teacher and Chapter 21: Maman's Requiem

We finally made it--Erik and Christine have re-met. In Chapter 21, Erik recalls the first time he sang to and with Christine, and plays the Requiem he wrote for his mother. I wanted his Requiem to include traditional French music, Western Classical, a call back to Jewish and Christian liturgical music and influence from his extensive time in Persia. Here is Kol Nidre/All Vows, the prayer that the fic is named after and Erik hears outside the Grande Synagogue. It's going to come up again.

In Persia, he would have most certainly have heard Qawaali, a Sufi devotional music that originated in India but would have made it to Persia by this time. I found the video below while writing this post and it illustrates a combination of western orchestra with the harmonium and singing style of Qawaali--which I wanted to include in the Requiem.

Then of course there is "A La Claire Fontaine", which is like "Twinkle-Twinkle Little Star." This is Erik, and not Christine's comfort song--but Christine has a currently-unknown connection to the song (she's Swedish, remember). I just saw another fic I'm reading use it, and I'm surprised that was the first time after my fic that I saw someone else use it--considering it is so widely known in France.

And then of course there are the operas, but the operas of Leroux's novel are very well explored (although listen, Gounod's Romeo & Juliette slaps. I just saw it live).

[real-shul-stories]

caller, day before kol nidre: im wondering when i'm going to get my tickets?

me: we aren't mailing tickets this year (as we had been advertising for 2+ months and had not done since before the pandemic)

him: so i was supposed to just check my email?

me: we requested that everyone register online for services, as we have strict attendance caps. our main service is already full, but i still have space in our satellite service if you’d like to attend.

him: wow, i can't go to my own synagogue, where i'm a member? I'll just go to a different shul, i don't want to go to some rinky-dink place

(it's worth noting that the rinky-dink place in question was the newly remodeled church immediately next door to us)

[towardtheonetheperfection]

9 Tishrei 5784

Here I am, home on Kol Nidre. Feeling absolutely guilty for having stayed home. Because a Jewish influencer would never stay home on Kol Nidre. A baalat teshuva would never stay home on Kol Nidre if they really cared about their Yiddishkeit. A Jew would never intermarry if they really cared about their Yiddishkeit. And so I shouldn't even call myself Jewish.

I want to go to synagogue tomorrow but I have to eat. And I'll feel bad going to the orthodox synagogues, but that's where I want to be.

This is the opposite of how I should feel on Yom Kippur. It should be a fresh slate. I should feel refreshed. But I don't feel like I deserve the fresh start. I'm just going to continue to sin. I can't fulfil what Gd asks of me, i don't think I ever will. There's no way to avoid some of these continuous sins and stay in my current life. I am just praying and praying and praying Gd makes my path clear. So that's what I'll be doing on Yom Kippur. Praying to get some guidance. And some forgiveness. Even though Gd forgives me, I can't stop punishing myself.

My partner can't help. He's sympathetic. But he doesn't get it.

How do I make tomorrow meaningful?

Maybe I'll spend the day somewhere pretty and work on my tallit. I know it breaks every law but it's the only thing that feels like it might be actually enriching. I can meditate, and sew, and meditate, and sew. And then I can use it embued with all of the tears and love I put into it to start my shacharit practice using the guide video I shared.

This year has to be about the inner work. The outer work, the outer presence, is too painful and it's not working.

[greenbeandagger]

hey guys just wanted to say that while it’s super awesome that y’all wanna support jews this holiday season, it’s not really appropriate to do the bugs bunny “i wish all ______ a very happy ______” meme for yom kippur. it’s great for sukkot, fantastic for simchat torah, but yom kippur is a day for repentance, remembrance, and forgiveness. it’s probably the most serious holiday we’ve got, so please don’t make light of it. instead of “happy yom kippur”, maybe say something like “have a meaningful holiday”, or “have a healthy fast” for people doing the traditional sundown to sundown fast. yom kippur starts with kol nidre (some people go to services, others just eat a big pre-fast meal, my family does both) september 15th at sundown and lasts until sundown on the 16th. please be conscious of your jewish peers! love, your local jewish nonbinary lesbain

[prismatic-bell]

Hi,

This might be a strange question but it's something that's been on my mind recently. Is there any way that gentiles can help Jewish classmates (or any classmates that are religious but not christian) in situations where professors assign homework or exams on holidays? Is that something that we should bring up to professors even if we don't know if anyone in the class celebrates that holiday? Or is there a way that we can support classmates who speak up about needing to given time to celebrate their faith?

I'm sorry if this is awkwardly worded. I just want to know if there's anything I can do in the future to help in those kinds of situations. I don't want to step on any toes, but I also don't want my classmates to feel like they would be on their own if they spoke up. I know it might be difficult to do anything during the pandemic since I don't really know my classmates, so if you have any suggestions as to ways to help after the pandemic that would be great too.

First of all, this is like Allyship 101: “how can I help those who need this help?” So, A+ to you, friend.

The holidays you’re most likely going to run into problems with, at least for Jews (I encourage my siblings from other religions to chime in), will be Pesach and the High Holy Days. Pesach is juuuuuuust before Easter, and I know when I was in college it was quite common to get midterms that week. The High Holy days consist of three days within a ten-day span: Rosh Hashanah, Erev Yom Kippur (which some Jews may refer to as “Kol Nidre,” as this is the main prayer said during that service), and Yom Kippur. You know how there are Christmas and Easter Christians? You never see them in church except on Christmas Eve and Easter morning, but dammit you will always see them on those two days? Yeah, there are Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur Jews. Synagogues will overflow capacity trying to accommodate all who want to attend, and in many cases tickets may be required simply because there aren’t enough seats to safely hold all comers My sister’s synagogue has three chapels, and still has to double up services (as in, every prayer service is performed twice) to accommodate all attendees on these holidays.

I’m Reform, meaning there are a lot of mitzvot I don’t follow. Even so, here are just some of the restrictions I face on Yom Kippur:

--I cannot fast due to medical problems, but I am restricted to very small amounts of plain food (I usually have plain rice and a couple of tablespoons of peanut butter on the side for two tiny meals between services; maybe a small amount of plain chicken). Most people fast from both food and water for 25 hours.

--I can’t wear “nice” clothes. This doesn’t mean I don’t dress up--it means I shouldn’t wear anything that would encourage slouching, lounging, relaxing, etc. The focus of Yom Kippur and Erev Yom Kippur is study, reflection, and repentance--not luxury. You are expected to be uncomfortable. That’s the point.i

--There are five prayer services on Yom Kippur. I’m supposed to attend all of them. (I . . . won’t lie, I often skip the family service. It’s a rehash for the little kids about what Yom Kippur actually is, it’s about 45 minutes long, and it’s usually when I take my second meal.) It comprises about six hours’ worth of prayers, while Kol Nidre evening is about another two. Rosh Hashanah isn’t quite that intense; it’s more like four hours. Again, though, I’m Reform--Orthodox Jews may spend the entire twenty-five hours of Yom Kippur praying.

As you can imagine, the day of and the day after these services, I’m wiped. I don’t want to work. I don’t want to cook. I don’t want to do house chores. I want to rest, and I want to eat things that aren’t plain rice.

So what can you do?

First, I recommend a calendar app. My phone very considerately tells me when the holidays are, because the Jewish calendar is lunisolar and the dates change from year to year. You can also just . . . look up a Jewish calendar online. Keep in mind that the Jewish religious day runs from sunset to sunset, not from dawn to dawn. So for example, according to my phone, today was the first day of Chanukkah. In reality, we lit the first candle last night, because 25 Kislev began at 5:20 on 10 December. Almost all modern calendars will mark the first “full” day of the holiday, not its actual start the evening before, so keep that in mind.

Next, you may wish to ask directly on the first day of class if you see something concerning on the syllabus: “what is your policy for accommodation of religious observance?” IT IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT THAT YOU USE THE WORDS “ACCOMMODATION OF RELIGIOUS OBSERVANCE.” A secular Jew may wish to go home for Pesach even though they don’t believe in the story of the Exodus, and they should be allowed to do that without having to justify it in the same way as all the “well it’s not really about Jesus anymore, it’s a time for family” Christmas-observers, but that phrase up there is a magical phrase that means they are protected from discrimination if they choose to do that. Make the professor tell the entire class what the plan is. If you have an asshole who says they make no exception for religious observance, you can do one of two things: challenge the professor directly (”sir, are you aware that’s against the law?”), or go directly to the dean or principal. Be aware that you may face some backlash from the professor if they’re particularly petty, so keep an organized copy of all assignment rubrics and what you’ve turned in. That way if that backlash comes out in your grade, you can challenge it.

Now let’s say the teacher was thoughtless. I would like to draw a distinction here between “thoughtless” and “malicious” because as an ally, one is much easier to deal with than the other. “Thoughtless” can be approached thus: the prof tells you all the midterm essay will be assigned next Wednesday. You raise your hand and say “Sir? That’s Rosh Hashanah, people might not be here.” Your prof, who was thoughtless, goes “oh. All right, let me see” and looks over his notes and says “then let’s give the assignment next Monday. You’ll have two extra days to work on it, so make good use of them.” That is a good response to a mistake. A malicious response would basically be “too bad, so sad,” and you should go to the dean. Even if there are no Jews in your class, that attitude will 1) dissuade Jews from taking the class in the future and 2) potentially cause a lot of problems for the school, which the dean would really like to avoid.

Finally: if a classmate speaks up and says those words for themselves, and the professor is less than supportive, this is where you’re gonna have to grab onto your ovaries or testicles or whatever your personal body part of great courage is, and get confrontational:

“Professor, we get off automatically for our holiday. She should be allowed to celebrate too.”

Or even, if needed:

“Professor, that is discrimination.”

Keep in mind that last one may net you a very negative reaction if you have to use it. If a professor is nasty enough to go “I don’t give a shit” when presented with the problem in the first place, they may well be nasty enough to yell at you and criticize you in front of the class. Be ready for this, and realize it is not an attack on your character--it’s a reflection of the professor’s. They know they have no argument, so they’ll just try to cow you into silence. Stand your ground. If you are firm in your defense of your classmate, others may step up. Even if they don’t help you in that initial confrontation, they may offer to be witnesses if you take the matter to the dean. Make sure you introduce yourself to your classmate after the fact, and ask if there’s any further support or help they need. Make it clear that you’re happy to help.

Thank you for speaking up and speaking out. Best of luck to you in your studies!

[nevermindirah]

With the High Holy Days coming up (shana tova!) how do you think Jewish!Booker would deal with his first Yom Kippur in exile?

Hi anon! Shana tova to you too!

I have a text file from July that reads only this:

Booker spent last Yom Kippur blackout drunk.

I think the first year of exile, Booker couldn’t bear to do anything even vaguely gesturing in the direction of Yom Kippur observance. I think he’d start coming back to observance slowly, in baby steps, over the course of years.

That first year, nothing. Then the next year — this year, 2021 — the High Holidays are early in the fall, there’s not even a chill in the air when he's out walking and happens to hear the shofar blowing as he walks by a synagogue. He doesn’t give more than a passing thought to maybe stopping, maybe daring to see if they’ll let him in.

The third year, he gets up the nerve to listen to that Leonard Cohen song based on that prayer, the one that lists all the ways he’s already died.

It’s maybe a year or two after that when he lights a yarzeit candle alone at home on Yom Kippur afternoon. And another year or two later, he gets up the nerve to go to a synagogue just for the afternoon memorial service, to say the ashkava for his wife and sons.

I think it’s a long while after all those baby steps before he gets up the nerve to stay for other parts of the Yom Kippur service. The Day of Atonement can only atone for sins against G-d, not sins against people, not until they’ve made peace with each other, and everyone he’s sinned against is either dead or not speaking to him for a century. It feels... rude isn’t quite the right word for it, but he doesn’t know what describes it better, to sit in a service surrounded by people praying to be inscribed in the Book of Life when all he wants in the world is to finally be allowed to die.

I think he spends more than one Yom Kippur blackout drunk. I think he leaves a Kol Nidre service early one year and drinks himself to death, because he’s not ready yet.

I think finally one year somebody notices and talks to him. Maybe an eager rabbinical student, maybe an older person who recognizes their own loneliness in him. And he admits that his wife and children died hating him, and whoever got him talking says something that brings him comfort that Andy or Joe or Nicky never did. As much as they love him, as much as they tried with him, this just wasn’t a reassurance other immortals could give.

T’shuvah, t’filah, and tzedakah mitigate the severity of the decree, and by the time Booker can stand to be in a synagogue for long enough to have a conversation with a stranger, he’s already done plenty of his and my favorite charity work, wealth redistribution. Now he’s finally ready to do some repentance and prayer.

[etchedstars]

“oh, you’re not going to school tomorrow for the jewish thing? omg you’re so lucky! take me with you!”

fuck you. 

1. that “jewish thing?” our most important holiday. the most serious. it is called yom kippur, and the day before it is kol nidre. call it by its name. it’s a lot more than the “jewish thing.”

2. yes. i am not going to school. this is so, as stated before, i can get inscribed in the book of life and live another year. like literally everyone, i’ve done bad things this year, and this is the day i am forgiven in the eyes of god. 

3. i cannot make this any more obvious: YOM KIPPUR IS NOT A DAY OFF. yom kippur is to fast. yom kippur is to pray. i’m not lounging around in pajamas and eating all day. in fact, i can’t fucking eat. 

4. unless you’re ready to face everything you’ve done wrong in the past year, i won’t be taking you with me. you have it better: you can eat, you can actually laugh, you can learn. it is once a year. 

5. i happen to know that this quote was said by someone who wanted to get out of pe. we don’t have pe tomorrow. you can suck it up. i’m not sorry. 

l’shanah tovah to my jewish followers. to the non-jewish followers, please keep this in mind throughout tomorrow, and please try to avoid saying things like this. it’s disrespectful and rude.

[ongreenergrasses]

6,7, and 15 for the ask game! :D

!!! thank you Giada i am so excited to talk about this!!!

6. Do you speak any Judeo languages? right now i do not, no, but it is also worth noting that a lot of American Jewish families have a variety of Yiddish words in their everyday vocabulary and mine is no exception

7. Are there any Judeo languages you want to learn? i would like to learn Yiddish i think, and i have been working on learning Ladino

15. If you celebrate the High Holy Days, what do you like to do? it depends! i became more religious and started celebrating them more once i moved and started university, last year i went to Selichot and i really loved that. i take the day of Rosh Hashanah off but i don’t go to synagogue, but i go to Kol Nidre (and often play for the service lol) and go to services for Yom Kippur, those two are very important to me. i do not fast for Yom Kippur because of health reasons but i do take the day off and spend the afternoon doing something low key and enjoyable

16. Do you have any Jewish superstitions? skdkkdjf yes i am pretty superstitious. i have nazars by the doors of my house to ward off evil and also have one hanging from my rearview mirror in my car. i also believe that the color red and specifically red string worn as a bracelet on the left wrist can ward off evil and protect from demons

ask me about my Judaism

[theartofimaginaryfriends]

Happy Challahdays (Part 3)

Fic Series: Hanukkah Oneshots

Characters: Jewish!Percy x Jewish!reader, Jewish!Sally x Paul, Estelle Blofis

Premise: Percy goes to the latke lunch at the synagogue with his family.

Masterlist

taglist: @pjsolympians

Word count: 692

A/N: Quick disclaimer that I'm going off the assumption that every synagogue has a space for these types of events, and have never been inside Temple Emanu-El (one day I'd love to see it, though!) As per usual, there is going to be a quick little blurb on what today's candle represents and I will have a thing in the comments of the terms used in the fic. Hope you enjoy this one :)

For the third day: The third light is the light of justice. No nation can endure which is unjust to the weak. "Justice, always Justice shalt thou pursue," was the commandment of Moses, our teacher.

Temple Emanu-El was the Synagogue that Percy and Sally were members of. Their favourite event of the year was the latke lunch. After they had eaten, Percy moved to a table where his friends played a game of dreidel and joined in. Sally and Paul, on the other hand, conversed with the other parents and allowing the other Jewish moms to hold Estelle.

The room was loud, the many conversations echoing in the large area. Not that anyone minded, they were too busy in their discussions to give it a second thought. The game of dreidel was on its fifth round, and Percy was close to winning. It was between him and Y/N, who was surprisingly good at it. They had a large amount of the pot in front of them, and just the rest of the participants was struggling to not sneak a piece of gelt.

It had gotten to the point in Y/N's luck, where Percy and their friend Daniel would try to blow on the spinning top as a way to try to land it on Nun. They partially succeeded, the dreidel having landed on Shin. Unfazed, Y/N put one piece of gelt back in the middle of the table, and the game continued.

The teens were relentless after that, everyone trying to stop the dreidel from spinning and having it land on any other letter than gimel. Daniel's landed on hey, and he scooped up three pieces of gelt from the six that now remained in the middle of the table. The game didn’t last too long after that, with Percy getting lucky and winning the pot on his turn.

"Good game, Jackson," Y/N slide their pile towards him. "Another round, anyone?"

"My parents are waving me over," Daniel shook his head. "I gotta go."

"Me too," one of the girls, Emily, left the table as well. The gelt was split evenly between everyone, and they wished each other a Happy Hanukkah as they were leaving. Soon enough, it was just Y/N and Percy, who continued to hang out at the table ignoring the fullness they felt from the latkes and snacking on the chocolates in front of them.

"Your baby sister is really cute," Y/N smiled, watching the nine-month-old giggling as Sally played with her at their table. "Estelle, right?"

"Yeah," Percy nodded. "You've met her, haven't you?"

"Briefly," Y/N said. "During Kol Nidre, I think."

"Let's go over to say hi."

"Sure!" Percy laughed at Y/N's enthusiasm, and they walked over together. "Is she…?”

"No," the demigod shook his head. "She's mortal, thankfully."

Y/N was the only one of their friends to know that Percy was a demigod. The only reason was that she could see through the mist, and they got attacked by a couple of empousai when they were hanging out at the skatepark. He was glad to have a friend outside of Camp Half-Blood that he didn’t have to lie to, but he was still worried about them. Being aware was enough to put a mortal in danger.

"Hello Y/N," Sally greeted them, cheerfully. "How are you?”

"Doing good," they smiled. "Dealing with a stressed sister trying her hardest to learn her Torah portion, but I know she'll be fine. How are you?"

"Understandable," Sally said. "Things have been good lately. Estelle's been easy. Much easier than Percy was."

"In my defence-" Percy started but trailed off. He scratched his neck in embarrassment at Sally's warning look. "Okay, fair enough."

Estelle watched Y/N with interest, before reaching up to them as if to say she wanted to be held. "Do you mind?"

"Go ahead," Sally adjusted the baby so she was easier to pick up, and Y/N held her with ease. Automatically, Y/N began bouncing and their focus was completely on Percy's sister. Estelle's giggling continued while Y/N played with her, and tried to grab at their glasses.

They continued to chat with Percy and his family, until Y/N was whisked off by their parents, leaving Percy to hold his baby sister. "Happy Hanukkah, Percy."

"Happy Hanukkah, Y/N."

[lotshusband]

What’s a favorite thought of yours about Steve & Bucky reconnecting to their Judaism? This is one of my favorite headcanons and I would love to hear more of your thoughts

i want steve and bucky to get scooped up by a fleet of bubbies and forced to go to shabbos dinner every week & get cooed at when they talk to them in yiddish (steve’s heavy brooklyn accent only comes out when he talks in yiddish)

i want steve and bucky to clutch hands tight enough to go white-knuckled during kol nidre the first year bucky is back, both of them mired in the guilt they feel for what happened, both choking on their desperate need for forgiveness

i want bucky to find his sisters’ kids and grandkids and tell them stories about their family that have been forgotten by time

i want steve to grimly decide that he Has to host a seder. he just has to. so bucky rolls up his sleeves and helps him host the first annual avengers seder, which is only more fun than it is awkward because everyone is drinking heavily. they make wanda sing the four questions ‘cause she’s the baby and she feels REALLY put upon but still does it (natasha swiftly downs the elijah wine while wanda’s back is turned)

i want bucky to wear steve’s dog tags with a magen david strung onto the chain as well

[dancewriteandbehappy]

anyway the interesting thing is when I was in elementary school/middle school/high school I had the luxury of forgetting the dates for the high holidays. I mean yeah my parents always knew or mentioned it but I had the luxury to not remember because I didn’t need to fight

And by that I mean I lived in a really Jewish area so everyone got it. there was no fighting to make people understand. We had the high holy days off, if I remember correctly—or at least when we didn’t go to school, teachers anticipated that. Everyone knew it was coming. I didn’t have to remember

But being in a foreign country...even being away from my hometown...I have to figure out the dates at least a month in advance. Figure out when services are and where I’m going to go and how I’m going to get there and what about my classes, my workload, my rehearsal schedule

I told one of the girls in dance society here that I couldn’t come to rehearsal on Tuesday because of kol nidre

she said “sorry?” with a tilt of her head

and then apologized

and still didn’t get it when I said Yom Kippur. She was totally chill with the whole thing, told me she would let the others know, but

It makes me feel I have to push my Judaism in everyone’s face. “Don’t forget about me!” I want to say. “We’re still here, you know. We’re still here!”

The point is I don’t have the luxury of forgetting anymore. That is, do I know what date Rosh hashana falls on, or Yom Kippur, like I know the date of my friends’ birthdays or the first day of christmas? hahaha absolutely not.

but it means three weeks in advance I’m planning out my high holy day schedule to...minimize the damage. one could say.

[nerdyqueerandjewish]

Kol Nidre went until 9:45 last night when usually it would go until 8:30 because our interim rabbi, who I otherwise like, talks and talks and talks and let me tell you it makes me not want to go back to shul today for the rest of YK

[thinkingfromafar]

The rabbi at Kol Nidre services gave a sermon in which, among other things, he defended Jordan Peterson, said things were too politically correct, and called it "the homosexual lifestyle". I probably should have expected it after his Rosh hashanah sermon where he defended inviting a homophobic evangelical Christian pastor to our shul, but.

I tried, but I was basically crying for the rest of services. What should have been a safe space for me to pray had been violated. I didn't go to services the next day, and I'm not planning on going back to that shul as long as he is the rabbi there.

I'm glad my family is supporting me in this, emails are being written, donations cancelled, but would they have done anything if they hadn't noticed me breaking down?

I feel bitter, and angry, and hurt. This is not how I wanted to start my new year.