Im begging my brain to fucking focus i stg id kill for some executive function but all i can think about is how i need more multicolored pens because i somehow lost all but my purple ones and i absolutly cant finish this assignment -that i am doing on the computer mind you- until i have acquired more pens.
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Just read a fic so bad I have turned into the joker
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When I was sixteen, I was going through an incredibly turbulent time in my life. I don’t want to go into details, but it was… it was just really bad. And so the idea of who I was expanded twice, and as I’m autistic and I fixate on things, it expanded in the way of fiction.
I remember standing in the snow. It was so cold out, I was shivering so badly that I felt like I was going to shake my soul out of it’s body. The lights were on, yellow beacons on a dark backdrop. The sky was a lit up brown and snow was still falling, obscuring the forest around us. I had headphones on. I was listening to Welcome to Night Vale.
I felt so incredibly dehumanized at sixteen, WTNV was… it was an escape, but it became much more than that. It became me. I could see that dusty forest and those lights in the sky, and the voices playing in my ears, oh, that felt like me too. Like home. So familiar. That part of me became what I call “Capitalism”. Capitalism comes out when I’m very very frightened, I start to smile and I can’t stop smiling and I can still feel the hurt, but it doesn’t matter, I’m hardly human anyway. Who cares?
Yeah, no I know, it’s… it’s something. Yeah. I wish I could do it justice with words, it’s like being a whole new person.
When I was seventeen, something else happened. That was when I made the last big jump in who I was, and it’s had such an effect on who I am that it ended up kind of… melding with who I am right now? I don’t know how to explain it. Dirk Gently’s Holistic detective agency, the 2016. It become a special interest immediately. During this time in my life, there was a CPS battle underway, my mom finally left for good, a bunch of shit. This jump in who I was was… just massive. It changed my entire personality, my style, my music taste, the things I enjoyed doing, the aesthetics I liked. I was still me, but… I was like, version 4.0 or something instead of 3.0. It’s like when a video game is compared to it’s beta version. I started learning Romanian.
And that boy affected who I am today. I call them jumps, but it’s just… I don’t always have a big jump like when I was seventeen. They’re like, my personality is a house and someone keeps building ducking addictions to it. I had an addition built in late 2020, early 2021, but it’s been influenced by the boy I was when I was seventeen, even though he’s grown and changed in his own way.
Don’t know. I wish who I was made sense.
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Been reading some ff7 stuff and it's mostly sephiroth based and like... It's so funny seeing people write his thigh length hair, they never get it right.
'he wrapped his hair in a towel on his head-' I appreciate the thought but I can promise you that that hair is coming out the end of the towel and still dripping cold water down his spine despite having been wrung out five times.
'leaving it to dry -' babe it'll be still sopping in six hours and it's incredibly heavy when wet. I don't care how sleek his hair is it's going to frizz if he steps one foot outside in that condition.
'Haha the bottle of shampoo and conditioner every time rumour isn't true-' the shampoo, no, but the conditioner? You'd be surprised!! Not to mention whatever hair oils he uses to prevent all that loose hair matting in seconds!
'he quickly dried his hair-' no.
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It feels SOOOO GOOD to watch all those artist who've been drawing Hazbin Hotel content for years now, reposting their old art for the new, wider audience and finally getting recognition they deserve 😩👌
Especially Huskerdust, once a niche ship and now they just keep taking Ws.
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✨Surprise! ✨
I'm launching a new story for my dark cream ship kids and co ^^
I usually don't warn before the first part is done but I thought Mimosa's birthday was a good day to announce it!
A Tear's Soul!
I already showed that drawing (hehe it's the cover) but now I can talk about it ;3
The project is gonna a mix of comics and writings (because I'd burn myself out trying to do full comic when I'm not very experienced in those... They're hard, ok?)
Sooo it's gonna take me a while........................
Even if I try to shorten it as much as possible (10 parts unless problems)
I think the ones who'd be interested all know how my projects usually go, it's not gonna be a cute, fluffy story uwu. It'll have some fluff tho promise, but angst is part of the journey here! I'll give warnings each time I feel it's necessary :P
So!
If it interests you and you wish to be tagged on it, tell me now and you'll be tagged in each update :D
[I had to compress that gif, it was too big XD]
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okay wait laughingstock concept Incoming: so im imagining some of the neighbors (maybe Julie & Frank) noticing that Barnaby & Howdy are a lil fruity, yk yk. and Julie's like damn, i guess we have to play matchmaker here.
so naturally they wind up getting the whole neighborhood involved. everybody's a wingman here. Poppy's dropping hints when Howdy drops off groceries, Wally is constantly asking Barnaby to go get him things from the bodega, etc etc. Howdy and Barnaby are facing this sudden change in town-wide behavior with slight concern and bemusement
eventually - lets say Julie, Sally, and Wally - get Barnaby into the bodega and then abruptly leave like "don't have too much fun without us you two *wink wink nudge nudge*". once they're gone (read: very obviously hiding outside & watching through the window) Barnaby & Howdy turn to each other like:
Barnaby: you think we should tell them we're already married?
Howdy: let them have their fun - they'll figure it out eventually
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Luffy is like staring into the sun.
At least, that is what Zoro thinks the first time he sees him. But then, his first coherent thought had been it’s too bright upon their initial meeting, looking up from glowering down at the ground to raising his head and squinting at a too big, self-congratulatory smile and do you want to join my crew?
Then it had been simple enough to blame the harsh sunlight blinding him, framing Luffy’s profile and that bright grin, and he’d bitten back the hell I will one minute and had a sword and an oath clenched between his teeth in the next.
And so Zoro follows the sun.
He follows and his skin reddens and blisters and peels; it splits at the seams and bleeds as he burns, and still he follows. It aches and cracks, and still he reaches out, twining his fingers through promises and a loyalty that will not bend.
Luffy curls a hand around his jaw and it’s a different sort of burning, flaring up into his eyes and down to his very marrow. And Luffy asks, where will you go? Nowhere, Zoro says as the words gather in his throat, raw and parched, and he chokes on them, anywhere.
His touch is a balm as fingertips skitter across his skin, soothing and pressing and digging and prying, and Zoro thinks he would burn again and again, blinded by the sheer brilliance of it all.
And then it’s dark out on the open sea, some nights, and then others too many stars dot the horizon, gathering up above them like they’re spilling out of the slit open belly of a giant, and Luffy tilts his head, blistering heat where he rests against his shoulder and looks at Zoro and says, I think I know where, and would you come with me?
And Zoro is a drowning man with a lungful of sea water, salt gathering with blood at the corners of his mouth and asks, of course, and where?
Luffy smiles and it’s a gathering of starlight and the sun, and it makes Zoro want to shove his fist into his mouth and shatter every one of his teeth, and Luffy would just laugh and bite down on his wrist and lay claim to his pulse point, like he doesn’t already live inside its every thrum.
No telling, he says. Will you still come with me?
And Zoro burns and it rages in the pit of his belly right into the raw skin of each scar, into his fingertips as they dig into Luffy’s scalp. How dare he have to ask, grin with the knowledge that he already knows the answer, and Zoro turns to follow the sun and says, yes, says I wouldn’t be anywhere else.
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