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rachalixie · 9 months

Text

forgive me for what i haven't done

summary: you arrive at your enemy's kingdom under the guise of making peace. the prince being nice to you wasn't part of the plan.

genre: strangers to lovers, hurt/comfort

warnings: she/her reader, reader's father is emotionally manipulative and physically harms her, mentions of violence

word count: 17.5k

a/n: absolute massive thank you to @sulfurcosmos, @isilentprincess, and @woahfruity for reading this through and giving me your honest feedback. i truly appreciate you <3 this fic has sent me through the five stages of grief.

you can’t ignore the bruising grip your father has on your arm as he walks you to the steps of the large palace. the journey here was a mere two hours, but it feels like this palace was built out of another world altogether. it’s shorter than your own, absent are the dull reaching peaks and towers of your home, traded for warm bricks covered in snaking ivy and the shining sun peeking through powdery clouds. where it lacks in height, it makes up for in its expanse. the building was wider than any you’ve ever seen.

it was more beautiful than any building you’ve ever seen, too.

you hope your nerves don’t show as you throw one last glance back at the carriage you arrived in; it would soon take away your handmaidens that had made the journey with you, and you wouldn’t see them again until you went home. it makes your heart ache that the only people you felt comfortable with were leaving you behind. you try and focus on the present instead, knowing that wallowing in self-pity would get you nowhere. you had hours of meeting strangers ahead of you, making polite small talk with them and learning whatever information you could about the royal family until you could go to bed and be upset in private. you weren’t here for pleasure anyways, your father had reminded you as the carriage had pulled in. you were here for a reason.

the first person you make eyes with is the king, a kind looking man, hair and beard speckled with gray and a soft smile on his face as he takes in his visitors. he had invited you and your father here, a gesture of goodwill, an unspoken plea for peace between your two kingdoms.

“they want peace,” your father had scoffed, throwing the letter from the neighboring king to his desk. you watched as it slid off and fluttered to the floor. “the scum that killed your grandfather want peace, and they dare ask me to negotiate a treaty with them.”

“well,” you started, swallowing down your nerves like you did every time you spoke to your father. since your mother passed, all those years ago, you had taken over the role of his confidant, like he did with her. though, he never listened to your advice when you gave it; you were simply a body for him to talk at, to pour out his grief and frustration out on. “did the king not overthrow his own father? he is not the man that hurt our family, and i assume neither are his sons. can we not let the past stay in the past?”

the two kingdoms are small - a unity between you would open opportunities for new trading, allies in battle, new paths to resources that your people don’t see.

“their bloodline is rotten,” he says, definitive. “i would be doing the world a service by ridding it of their pitiful existence.”

his words of extremity did not surprise you; he spoke of all of the neighboring kingdoms in this way. he was not one for alliances, keeping the borders of his territory locked to outsiders, deeming them not fit to enter his kingdom. you can barely remember a time when foreigners or immigrants inhabited the now barren lands.

“and the people in their kingdom?” you question. “they are truly innocent. will they be given refuge here once their kingdom has fallen?”

“i do not care!” he spits out at you, eyes burning in anger, and you shrink back a little. “they will burn along with their miserable rulers. i will find a way to take them down, all of them, to make them pay for what they did to my family. and you, gods help me, will do as i say.”

and you would. in truth, you had barely even considered going against him. you were alone, you had no options other than following through with his wishes, no escape from him and his cruelty. you had nowhere to go that he would not find you. and yet, he remained vexed as he moved closer to you, speaking quietly in a manner that was more terrifying than if he was yelling at you. his fingers curl around your upper arm, like a warning-

“welcome,” the king’s voice breaks you out of your memory, and you muster up a smile for him. “thank you for making the journey here. and please, call me stephen. you are esteemed guests here, no need for formalities.”

your father doesn’t offer the same notion back, nodding coldly at your side. king stephen furrows his brow for a moment, and it’s clear on his face that he’s caught off guard. so expressive for a royal, you muse as he shakes his head and the smile returns to his face.

“my sons,” stephen gestures to the boys standing by his side, the ones you had yet to lay your eyes on. “crowned prince christopher, his betrothed, the lady roseanne, and our youngest, felix.”

betrothed? you did not know the older son was engaged. this complicates things. you can feel the anger coming off in waves from your father, and you place your hand on his forearm for a moment. not now, please, you mentally beg, and you almost sigh in relief when the tension leaves his body, turning your attention to the two royals in front of you.

the taller of the two dons a mop of curly hair under his circlet, cleanly pressed clothes shining with the royal blue of their family. a striking woman is at his side, an arm loosely curled around his. as he moves forward to greet your father, linking arms like the king had, your attention is drawn to the boy left standing alone.

the shorter boy is what you can only describe as ethereal. his features are sharp in all the right places, smoothed out by soft planes and dips covered in starlight scattered freckles. his clothes are similar to that of his brother’s, but no crown adorns his head.

he might be the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. it makes your knees weak.

“i am felix,” he says, his voice deeper than you would expect from the gentle features of his face. he dips his head a bit, a sign of respect, as he takes your hand and presses a gentle kiss to the back of it. your voice is steady when you respond with your own name, and you’re glad for it.

his attention is diverted when your father’s hand lands on your shoulder, his touch more gentle than it ever is whilst away from prying eyes.

“my daughter, princess y/n,” he announces, a proud smug on his face when you shyly curtsey. he must think your timidness is a ploy to get their trust, and not as a result of the raging nervousness boiling under your skin.

“it’s an honor to meet you, your highnesses,” you meet each of their eyes, looking for any sign of malice, but you find none.

“come inside, please,” the king beckons, and the circle of knights that had been flanking him move aside gracefully to make way to the tall archway leading inside the palace. you’re once again taken away by the beautiful architecture inside, melting candles lining the walls made of warm brick. “we will begin the peace talks tomorrow, spend the day settling from your journey.”

“we will go freshen up,” your father states, cutting your exploration short with a poorly concealed fake smile donning his face. you hope no one else can see through him the way you can. “and we will meet you for dinner?”

he doesn’t wait until the king answers before he pulls you off to a hallway, beckoning over a servant and barking at him to show you both to your chambers. you pray to the gods that your hosts see your father’s unorthodox behavior as a difference in customs, rather than rudeness. the servant looks flustered, eyes wide as he directs you to your adjoined chambers, and you almost feel bad for him. you’re sure he can tell when your father’s anger returns, getting stronger the further you walk from the royal family, and you keep your head bowed until the two of you are behind closed doors.

he lets go of your arm harshly, almost throwing you off of him in his haste and if you weren’t so afraid you would remind him that he probably shouldn’t yell as you’re sure he was about to do.

“he is engaged?” he growls out, teeth gritted together in fury. “this was not in the intel that i was given. this does not fit into our plan!”

his plan was for you to woo the prince, get him to fall in love with you, and then to kill his father and take the throne. nevermind the extensive gaps that he didn’t care to think out, that you weren’t brave enough to tell him about. the thought of the prince not going along with the neighboring king taking over his kingdom never crossed his mind; it was either extreme hubris or immense stupidity on his part. perhaps it was both.

“will i have to marry him? the prince?” you asked, avoiding his eyes. you kept your voice as leveled as you could, but you couldn’t completely mask the apprehension you were feeling.

“you will do whatever is necessary to gain his trust. if the boy proposes, you will accept.” he said, clinical and cold like he wasn’t gambling with your life. if your father was correct, these men were murderers, men who killed others in cold blood. what would the prince do if he discovered your father’s plan? how long was he expecting you to keep up this charade?

“control yourself,” he says when he takes in the tears pricking at your eyes, the wobbling of your lips as the gravity of his words sink in. “those of our class do not weep so easily.”

“what do we do now?” you ask, regretting it almost immediately when his anger turns towards you. you had wished, foolishly so, that he may forget this revenge-fueled nonsense and let you go home.

“i do not know, stupid girl. why do you not think of something instead of having me do everything for you?” you pray that no servants were listening in through the door, and no knights were making their patrol past the hallway. with how loud he’s speaking, there would be no hiding his ill intentions. “i thank the gods you were born a woman and i can marry you off. with how useless you are, there would be no helping my kingdom with you as a ruler.”

the words sting, your heart aches at the cold insult he’s thrown at you, but it’s not the first time he’s said something like this. it’s at the tip of your tongue to tell him that this wasn’t even your plan, that you didn’t want to betray this kingdom in the first place, that you’re tired of being his pawn in a game only he wants to play. you want to tell him that you would be a better ruler than he is if given the chance, that you almost hope for the day that he keels over and dies because you would be free of him. but you’ve learned to hold your tongue in times like this, knowing that he only says these things out of frustration; flashes of the kind man he used to be when you were younger play through your mind, calming you down as you scramble for some kind of answer.

“i will go after the younger one,” you start, a half-baked plan forming in your head. “if king stephen and christopher are out of the way, he is next in line for the throne, is he not? we just have a couple more people to get out of the way. befriend the king, distract him and make him trust you. i will handle the prince.”

you disappointed yourself by expecting some kind of verbal affirmation, some kind of praise for doing something right, but all you get from your father is a curt nod and a gesture to leave his chambers.

a nod was better than nothing. a nod was silent assurance that you were doing something right, that he was wrong about you. that you could think for yourself.

when you enter the hallway, you catch a glimpse of the servant from earlier peeking around the corridor. you smile at him, hoping that he had heard nothing and that your face didn’t betray the whirlwind of emotions clouding around in your head. he simply smiles back, foxy eyes crinkling and he nods at you before disappearing.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

dinner was an incredibly awkward affair; all throughout the meal, you couldn’t avoid meeting eyes with felix from where he was sitting across from you, and you flushed and looked away every time. his eyes were striking, soft browns highlighted with specks of gold reflected from the candlelight. this was the boy you were supposed to woo and manipulate, and you couldn’t even meet his eyes. gods help you.

you weren’t sure if your hosts could sense the concealed hostility in your father’s voice, but you could. he was doing a poor job of hiding his apathy, answering king stephen’s questions with short words or grunts. he eyed his food with judgment and took hesitant bites, even though you thought it was exceptionally made.

even the banquet hall itself was remarkable, banners of blue and gold hanging from the tall ceilings and plants of various kinds lining the walls. light shone down from the high windows, bathing the royals in front of you in a golden light.

“is the food not to your liking?” king stephen asked, a small frown gracing his features when he saw your father’s mostly full plate.

“this is amazing, like nothing i have ever tasted before,” you voiced, directing the attention to yourself. your own plate was nearly scraped clean, and you might have licked it to savor the flavors if you didn’t have your royal dignity to uphold.

your heart pounded in your chest from addressing the king so directly.

“good, i am glad,” stephen smiled warmly at you, quelling your nerves, and his smile reached his eyes in a way your father’s hadn’t for years. “i shall make sure to send your compliments to our main cook, he was worried that the meal would not suit our guests’ tastes.”

“minho worries too much,” christopher laughs, meeting eyes with his fiancée. the way he looks at her sends warmth up your spine, like you’re witnessing kindling sparkling into a burning flame. “his cooking is the best in the entire kingdom.”

it might have turned you off that he was boasting like that if it wasn’t about someone whose status was below his. a crowned prince, giving compliments like that to a palace worker? kitchen staff, at that? it was different, for sure.

the thought stuck with you for the rest of the night, even as your head hit your pillow at night. though you weren’t so naive to think that first impressions were indicative of their entire nature, it seems that the image of this royal family that your father painted for you might have been more skewed than you initially thought.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

while your father spent the next day with king stephen and their advisors, beginning the process of drafting and scrapping and rewriting peace treaties that you knew would never come to fruition, you were left to your own devices. venturing out of your chambers where you were bound to run into strangers was unsettling, but you pushed the feeling aside as you got dressed.

your father no doubt assumed you were jumping right into spending time gaining felix’ trust, but you didn’t know how to approach the younger prince to fulfill your part of the deal. you didn’t even know how to find him, or who to ask for his whereabouts; the sheltered walls of your home did not provide many opportunities for you to practice talking to people.

the people here did not seem to have the same problem. wherever you turned, visiting nobles and palace staff sent you smiles, casual how are you’s and i hope you slept well’s handed out to you like spare change. it made your head spin, and the desire to retreat back into your chambers was strong.

you found your way outside instead, through an archway made of brown stone. the fresh air often helped you think.

your casual walk allowed you to take in details that you couldn’t when you first arrived. the trees and greenery surrounding the palace were things you did not get at home, the forever winter killing off any color you longed to see. crops and livestock were held miles from the palace, outside of the reach of your vision and the invisible leash your father had kept you on, but here they thrived under the midday sun. you had a horse that you called your own, but you were only allowed to use him to travel to nearby towns on the outskirts of the palace property, right outside of the strong walls that surrounded it. none of the villagers there spoke to you past cold formalities, no matter how hard you tried, so eventually you gave up, settling for spending your time inside the castle.

here you found that you simply had to step outside of the palace walls to feel the soft grass beneath your feet, to smell the earth under your nose, to drink in the vibrant pinks and purples of the flowers in the gardens. there were so many trees, tall and strong with no walls blocking your vision of the soft foliage. you found a quiet bench under a tree, leaves and twigs decorating it’s surface from disuse, and you decided to call it your own despite having no ownership of any part of these grounds.

no ownership yet, if your father had anything to do about it.

you sat there for hours, drinking in the scenery as the sun made it’s path across the clear sky. you had expected boredom to creep around the edges of your mind, but it never came. the tranquility was so addictive that you found yourself back there, on that same bench, the next morning. and the next, your feet carrying you there before you were even fully awake.

“penny for your thoughts?” a deep voice disrupts your peace on that third day as a slender body sits on the bench next to you, just close enough that the warmth of his body touches your skin. you’re equal parts relieved and distressed when you see that it’s felix, and you smile at him in greeting, hoping that it didn’t come out as a grimace. this time when you meet his eyes, you make an effort to not look away.

“i do not get to see things such as this at home,” you wave your hand towards the garden, towards the birds chirping and the gentle sound of a stream bubbling. “it is beautiful. serene, you know?”

you don’t know how to act around him, and you certainly didn’t expect him to approach you. your words came out awkward, sounding unpracticed and superficial, and you try and hold back a flush from taking over your face. you hoped it wasn’t outstandingly clear how uncomfortable you were in his presence. do better than that, your father’s voice rings in your head.

“i agree,” he turns away from you, drinking in the picture-perfect view in front of you. “i am very lucky to call this place my home. what is yours like?”

“gray,” you deadpan, and the responding laugh he grants you makes your heart skip. better.

“there must be something beautiful there, it cannot just be you, right?” he says, a playful smirk tugging his lips upwards.

“flattery will get you nowhere, my prince,” you shoot back, enjoying the moment of quick banter between the two of you before your words turned sober. “when my mother was alive, she would paint the hallways and the walls of our chambers with beautiful flowers and vines and clouds. the flowers were my favorite part, she painted them in such beautiful shades of purples and yellows. most of them have been painted over, but the ones in my chambers remain. those are my favorite part of the castle, the most beautiful things i have ever seen.”

“i would love to see it one day,” he says, adamant and genuine as he takes your hand in his to squeeze it once before letting it go.

“maybe you could visit?” you look up at him through your lashes, a fake gesture to toy with him that left you feeling staticky and wrong. it was a complete lie - you would never subject this beautiful boy to the somberness of your home, lest it dull his brightness. even though he might not have a home soon, you push away the thought.

“only if it means i can see more of you, and not having you hide away,” he says, pointedly, though his face shows no malice.

“it is overwhelming, for me,” you explain, embarrassed at having been caught. “to be surrounded by strangers.”

“yes,” his eyes are far away for a moment, his head deep in thought. “i understand.”

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

the next morning you had only just left your chambers, planning for another day exploring the greenery around the palace, when you spot felix leaning against the wall opposite of the door. he approaches you with a warm smile and takes your hand, his skin soft under your fingertips. how long had he been waiting there for you?

“my lady,” he bows his head, bringing the back of your hand to his lips to press a kiss there, as he had done when you first arrived. “would you care for a walk around the palace? it would be my honor to be your escort for the day.”

“if you ask so nicely,” you smile back, humor seeping into your voice naturally. “how can i refuse?”

“excellent,” his smile widens and he holds an arm out for you to take. “i’ll take you to meet my friends! that way, you will have friends here, too, instead of strangers.”

his friends, you thought, would be nobles and lords and other members of high class that you would have to make fake pleasantries with. while his gesture was sweet, you had no interest making relations with the elite members of this court, the ones whose lives you were planning on upending. the last thing you expected was for him to take you straight to the kitchens, down winding hallways and corridors, marked by the ever increasing aroma of delicious baked goods and mouthwatering herbs.

“minho!” felix exclaims, bouncing on his heels excitedly, catching the attention of a man who was frowning deeply at a pot bubbling over a fire. “this is y/n, i am taking her around the castle today. y/n, this is minho, the king of our kitchens, and a dear friend of mine.”

the way he introduced you, so casually, was perplexing; no one had ever spoken your name without princess or lady preceding it. even more so was his casual use of king when talking about someone of lower class, a term that should be solely reserved for his father.

“hello, my lady,” minho looks up, his lips turning up into a graceful smile, slightly crooked teeth peeking through his lips. his hair curls around his ears a bit, dainty jewelry adorning his lobes, and his features look almost sculpted in perfection. he’s absolutely beautiful.

“is everyone in your kingdom this pretty?” you blurt out, forgetting yourself, and minho barks into laughter. felix’s hand moves to lay on your arm, right at the crook of your elbow, and if it wasn’t for the amused smile on his face you may have thought you upset him.

“you are one to talk, my lady,” minho says, delight on his face that quickly morphs into exasperation as the pot he was monitoring earlier begins to bubble over.

“careful, min,” felix drawls out, his fingers curling further into your arm. almost possessively. interesting. “she is our guest, not someone for you to flirt with.”

“alright, your royal highness,” minho says distractedly, stirring vigorously. “now stop distracting me, unless you want raw meat and vegetables for dinner tonight.”

felix grins in response, shooting a wave at the cook before leading you to a door in the back of the kitchens. it follows outside to a set of fields you hadn’t laid eyes on before, a cobblestone path winding through it like a river.

“so, do you think i am pretty too?” he teases as he leads you down the path, towards a set of men - knights - sparring in the midday sun. “or is that reserved for minho?”

“well-” you laugh, startled at his boldness. “i will not lie, you certainly are beautiful. but do not let it get to your head.”

“well as you said, flattery gets you nowhere, my lady,” he laughs too, and the two of you break all composure as you lean into each other. it’s almost too easy to be casual with him, too natural to break the carefully taught formalities that were drilled into you. you thought it might be a challenge, or awkward at the minimum, to get close to the prince, but you’re finding it to be quite an enjoyable experience thus far.

as you approach the knights, sweaty and panting from the exertion of their practice, you point out two men stand out from the rest, wearing armor with the royal colors showing proudly rather than the simple silver of the other knights. they held themselves with grace, power exuding off of them almost effortlessly, and they spark your interest.

“changbin and jisung,” felix points them out. “chris’ most trusted knights, and our friends. i pray for you if you ever get into a poker match with those two, they’ll cheat you out of every coin in your purse, the rascals.”

his voice is fond as his words are teasing, a juxtaposition that fascinates you. you don’t think you can recall a time where someone has used an insult as a term of endearment as he had just done. you lock this away in the back of your mind to ponder on later as you take in the two knights in front of you. the shorter one is clearly fond of exercise, if the muscles that even his heavy armor can’t hide is any clue. his hair is as dark as a raven’s feathers, curling from sweat, and his face is kind. the one next to him is slimmer, but no less strong. his face is round, cheeks swelling from the gummy smile he’s wearing, and his eyes are so pretty.

“felix!” the more muscular one, changbin as felix had pointed out, beams at the man beside you. “care to join? your moves must be getting rusty with all the sitting around you royals do.”

felix sends a glare to changbin, no heat behind the gesture, and him and jisung laugh in response.

“i have company, you scoundrels,” felix complains, almost in a whine. “could you not just boast about my prowess on the battlefield? you had to make me look bad?”

“please, lix,” jisung teases before turning his attention to you. “he may not be the most powerful warrior, but he is quick. the most agile swordwork i have seen, probably. it is like he is dancing with his opponent.”

felix flushes, shy under the compliments of his knights, his friends.

“hyunjin and seungmin must be around here somewhere,” felix muses as he walks you down the corridor lined with knights, back inside and down a hallway you haven’t seen before. “this is where mine and chris’ chambers are. hyunjin is chris’s personal secretary, and seungmin is mine. though, i would consider him more of a menace than anything else.”

his voice is lined with fondness again, like the way he spoke about minho and changbin and jisung. it’s the same manner as how he talks about his father and his brother, his family. it was like they were all his kin, regardless of blood.

“you are on a first name basis with the staff here?” you ask after a lull of silence, curiosity winning over your hesitance. your own handmaidens did not address you by name, the women who were your closest companions since you were young girls. you had never even thought to grant them the privilege of doing so.

“we treat everyone with the same respect, regardless of status or bloodline,” he says, words sounding a little colder than usual.

“do not misunderstand,” you quickly correct, not wanting to offend him. because you want him to trust you, your mind supplies. not because you want him to like you. “i think it admirable. it is…different, to how things are in my kingdom. i am simply not used to it. i would prefer it this way, if i had the choice.”

it wasn’t a complete lie; you were searching for words that would win him your favor, but it surprised you how naturally they came to you.

“do you not?” he furrows his brow, looking at you in confusion. whatever iciness he had before had melted into befuddlement, like he genuinely didn’t understand. “have a choice, i mean.”

you don’t know how to tell him you don’t have many choices at all.

the silence takes over the both of you again, less comfortable than before, but he remains quiet as if he can sense the thoughts whirling inside of your head. it’s only when you reach the limits of the palace property that you’re thrown out of your mind, glancing at him with unspoken question.

“i thought we could take a stroll through the lower towns to end our day,” he explains, no signs of lingering animosity from your previous conversation. “it is my favorite place to go to get away from the palace once in a while.”

the lower towns, like most things in this kingdom, were not what you had expected. there were children playing in the streets, laughing and screaming while their parents watched on in exasperation. markets lined the cobblestones you walked on, selling vibrant fabrics and jewelry, freshly baked goods and crisp produce, and a variety of trinkets that overwhelmed you in the best way, patrons were striking bargains for products on every corner, trading goods for coin, a smile on each face you encountered.

it was a good distinction from the towns you were used to, where knights patrolled to ensure nothing was amiss. people there lived in fear, not in joy. everywhere you turned, people smiled at the prince beside you, and he would wave back or offer a small nod, ever polite. the few times you had managed to sneak into the lower towns to buy paints and canvas or trinkets as gifts for your handmaidens, you had gone in a thick cloak that covered your face lest you be recognized. here, walking around in your day dress, you felt almost naked.

a child runs up to felix and wraps his small arms around his legs, bouncing excitedly on his heels.

“prince lixie!” he squeals, and felix leans down to ruffle his hair, a large smile on his face. it might be the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. “is that a princess?”

it takes you a moment to realize that the child is asking about you. you don’t interact with children much, your father would never allow them to touch you like the boy is with felix.

“yes, she is,” felix whispers, like he’s sharing a secret. “a very beautiful princess. why don’t you say hello?”

“hello,” the boy turns shy, peeking his head out from behind felix’ leg. the child, you found, could be forgiven for his lack of decorum when addressing you. he had a lot to learn at his young age. “i am joshua.”

“hi, little one,” you say, a little awkward as felix’ eyes are trained on you. “i am y/n.”

you were at loss for words, but the few words you managed to give had the boy practically beaming at you in response. you watch as felix tells him to return to his friends, because you and him were on official palace business, and the boy nods sagely before scampering off.

“sorry about him,” he says once lucas is out of sight. “i have been visiting him in the village since he was very little. i have taken a liking to him, naughty as he is. he is the son of one of the merchants here, and he lost his mother years ago. i see myself in him.”

“he is precious,” you take his arm again as he continues down the path. “i always wanted to visit the children in the orphanages at home, but i-” you cut yourself off, a habit you’ve taken to since arriving here. i need to learn to think before speaking. “i have not gotten the chance.”

“the children here are lovely,” he says. “i like learning from them. they keep me humble, remind me that not everyone is born with such privilege.”

he says it so simply, as if it’s his right to question such things; a man born into royalty surely has no business spending time with lower-class children, learning from them. it is one thing to offer them a coin, something that the kingdom could clearly spare. but what could they possibly teach him that his well-respected tutors could not?

you didn’t bring it up, afraid that he would react the same way he had earlier, when you questioned his informality with his staff. afraid that maybe, he would react in anger, though you couldn’t quite imagine the perfect lines of his face twisted into anything but peace.

before the two of you leave, he stops at one of the many stands selling an array of sparking jewelry and scarves, and he asks you if you would like anything. you want to say yes, the handmade twists of metal and dyed fabrics captivating you, but you shyly shake your head.

you almost miss his forlorn expression when you refuse, turning away from the stand. it’s better this way, to not receive gifts from him. there will be nothing in your possession to remember him by, then.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

as felix drops you off at your door in the evening, the day comes crashing down on you - he’s so kind. everyone here is, from the royal family to the staff and the people living in the villages outside the gates. throughout the entire day you spent with felix, you did not once think about why you were here, simply enjoying his company and learning about him, not the secrets you were tasked with uncovering.

it’s given you a lot to think about.

as he leaves, he runs a gentle hand down your arm from your shoulder to your wrist, squeezing gently before walking away. even his strides are made in lovely, even steps that makes him look other-worldly.

you lean against the doorframe, taking a deep breath to try and settle yourself, and it’s then that a flash of movement out of the corner of your eye captures your attention.

a servant is standing just down the hallway opposite from the one felix disappeared into, the same servant who had walked you to your chambers the very first day. the first person here who had smiled at you for no reason other than to be kind.

“hello,” you call out softly, beckoning him closer to you; you don’t know who looks more nervous out of the two of you as he approaches you with uncertain steps. “what is your name?”

“jeongin, my lady,” he almost whispers, hesitant, wide eyes trained on you.

“nice to meet you, jeongin,” your lips tug upwards. he’s adorable.

“we have met before,” he blurts out, smacking his hands over his mouth. “i am sorry, i spoke out of turn. i just meant…”

he trails off, looking down shyly.

“meant what, jeongin?” you ask, sure to keep your voice light and free of demand despite the curiosity starting to burn in you. what did he mean, you’ve met before? surely, he means within the palace earlier that week, right?

“i used to live in your kingdom,” he admits, his fingers playing with them hem of his tunic. “when i was younger. my mother was a servant in your castle.”

“really?” you gasp, understanding and puzzlement taking over simultaneously.

“yes, but i left when i was still young,” he explains. “i remember you, though. you were always kind. i admired you for that.”

“thank you, jeongin,” you manage to force out, knowing that you did not deserve his kind words, even as informal as they were given. he was wrong; you were just as wicked as the rest of the nobles in your court. perhaps you were simply better at hiding it.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

your father pulls you into an empty corridor near your chambers the next day, his strength harsh enough to make you stumble over your feet.

“what have you learned,” he speaks in hushed tones, scared of being overheard. it’s more of a demand than a question, as if he simply expected you to have what he needs after such little time.

“i spent the entire day with him yesterday,” you start, choosing your words carefully, lest he discover that you’re actually enjoying yourself here. “he took me around the castle, and i have an idea of the layout, in the case that we need to make a hasty exit.”

“anything else?” he pushes, leaning further into your space.

“they are…unusually fond of their staff here,” you divulge, more reluctant to give up this information. “they might be of use.”

“good girl,” his smirk is like frost, and he reaches out to cup your cheek. a gesture that, to others, may have seemed paternal, protective. though his touch sends an unpleasant shiver up your spine, his words satisfy some sick satisfaction within you - the need for his approval was met.

“your mother would be proud.”

as he walks away, it makes you queasy how those words make you straighten up, proud. pleased. living in the echo of your mother’s footsteps for so long made you doubtful that you would ever be able to fill them, but maybe this was a start.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

you see felix later, walking to the banquet hall with another boy dressed in simple clothes. they pause by the entrance, deep in conversation, and you duck behind a pillar, out of their sight. you’re just close enough to hear snippets of their conversation, when their voices raise from their hushed whispers. they must not want to be overheard, you realize, straining your ears harder. this was your chance to gather some kind useful information for your father.

you close your eyes and listen, picking up puzzle pieces of she’s sick and time off and you’ve almost completed the puzzle when it hits you - though any conversation they might have had was not meant for you to hear, this one in particular felt like a breach of privacy. not of felix’ but of the boy standing before him.

his secretary, seungmin, that he had spoken about the previous day. the boy who, as you had just learned, had a sick mother, and was requesting some time away to care for her. as you peek around the pillar, you see felix rest a hand on his shoulder, leaning close to the boy before pulling him in for a gentle hug.

he’s friends with his staff, and he touches them so casually? this didn’t fit. it fit nothing of the way you were brought up, formality and proprietary trained into you, and it fit nothing of the picture your father had painted of the royals that ruled over this kingdom. it seems that with every observation, instead of answers you were left with more and more questions.

“what are you doing?” a voice sounds from behind you, too close, and you nearly jump.

“what?” you breathe out, turning to see jeongin standing behind you, eyes wide.

“you were just standing there with your eyes closed,” he explains. “is everything okay?”

“my lady,” you correct, the words leaving your mouth as if it had a mind of its own. “is everything okay, my lady.”

“oh,” he says, twisting his bottom lip between his teeth. “apologies, my lady. there is no such need for formalities here, i had forgotten.”

“it is alright,” you assure, watching as he relaxes and lets out a breath.

“just, a word of advice?” he says, continuing before you could tell him that no, you didn’t want nor need his advice. “if you are going to be here for some time, you should try and adapt. not to overstep, my lady, you just might find yourself more comfortable if you relax a bit.”

he walks away with a smile, and you’re left alone to reflect on his words. he did overstep, but it does not mean he didn’t give you something useful. adapt, he had said, and perhaps he had a point. felix seemed to be more open with you when you were agreeable, when you didn’t question his strange impropriety.

maybe becoming one of them, even through a facade, was the key to unlocking whatever you needed to find.

he arrives at your door as the sun was setting, light knocks accompanied by a call of your name that you almost couldn’t hear. you call out softly for him to enter, a delighted smile taking over your face when you see what he has grasped in his hand, held out in offering.

a beautiful bouquet of flowers, wrapped in creamy tulle. the petals were a vibrant purple, highlighted by sharp yellows and soft whites towards their center. they were violas, your mother’s favorite flower.

you hadn’t seen one since she had passed. your father had forbade anyone from growing them on his lands.

“how did you know?” you gasp, smiling at him brightly as you take them from him. you move them closer to your face, and if you were alone you might bury your face into them, savoring their powdery sweet smell. “that these were my favorite flower?”

“you told me,” he says, ears turning pink under your attention. “that your mother painted your room in purple flowers. i just guessed, but from your reaction i hope i got it right?”

how had he remembered such a small detail that you had given him, when you knew little to nothing about him?

“oh, felix, they’re perfect. you remembered such a small thing?”

“there are a lot of things i wish to know about you,” he confesses.

“likewise,” you smile at him.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

smoke, creeping through the gap between the floor and the wooden door, rising in curling pillars towards you. snaking around your neck, entering your throat and your nostrils, burning your lungs to ash. you scramble for the doorknob, but the moment your fingers hit it you’re snatching your hand back - it’s icy hot, unable to touch.

there is no escape.

the windows - covered by royal blue curtains, catch fire from below, and you throw them back. you need air, something to clear out your crumbling lungs, but when you look outside the city is on fire. red-hot flames lick up the side of the palace, trees turned barren and flowers burned to a crisp.

in the center you can see felix, flames surrounding him but not touching. he’s whispering something, and you cry out that you can’t hear him. speak louder, please, you beg. help me.

“this is your fault,” he speaks, his voice right in your ear, but when you turn towards it, it’s not felix next to you. it’s your father.

his hand slides around your waist, pulling you close to him, embracing you.

“good work,” he says, proud smile on his face as the both of you watch the city fall to the flames. “i knew you could do it.”

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

since the younger prince had taken you on a tour of the castle, you’ve seen him every day. sometimes he would greet you at breakfast, disappearing afterwards only for him to show up at your door later to ask you on a walk around the grounds. other times he would be waiting for you outside your chambers when you woke up with a basket of fresh pasties baked by minho for you to enjoy together, and he would watch in delight as you savored the flavors. on rarer days, you would only see him in passing while he was between duties, but he would stop to press a kiss to the back of your hand, every time.

you played along with him, accepting his flirting and responding in turn. it came instinctively, and you often forgot that you were meant to be luring him into a false companionship, not a real one. he was alluring, smart with a fragment of recklessness, soft with sharp edges, a perfect balance of everything.

as the days passed, he would get bolder. his touches lingered for longer, the searing heat of his hand pressing on your arm, your shoulder, on the small of your back. his kisses moved from your hands to your cheeks and your temples, to the crown of your head, and it left you aching for more. he didn’t hold back his compliments, reflecting not only on how beautiful he found you but also how thought you were clever, intelligent, good-natured. you never thought those things about yourself, but something in the way he said it made you think they were true.

in the times that you weren’t with felix, you spent time with jeongin. the boy was as sweet as he looked, the the more time you spent together, the more his shyness melted away to reveal sharp wit and an even sharper tongue. you found your own walls dropping around him too, his easy companionship making it difficult to remain closed off to him. he reminded you of the home of your childhood, the one that you missed fiercely, and you were grateful to have him by your side. he kept you humble, holding you accountable for the way you acted, even though a spark of fear remained within him any time he spoke his mind in that regard. you managed to hold back your annoyance at his remarks, and soon you found that it simply faded out of reach. you became fast friends, almost too quickly, evidenced by the way he would raise his eyebrows at you when he saw you with felix, like he could see right through you.

you were lucky that your attraction to the prince was all that he could see through. the weight of your impending betrayal was like a shackle on your ankle, following you wherever you went, impossible to truly forget about. while you had yet to learn anything about the royal family that could serve as a benefit to your father, you saw your relationship with felix as a betrayal in it’s own right. if you were better, you would leave him alone - you would leave this kingdom entirely, and refuse to play any part in their downfall. but you couldn’t physically stay away.

you couldn’t stop from filing away small bits of information that might serve to be useful, either. the prince’s brother’s favorite meal, in case the opportunity to poison him came along. his father’s daily schedule, told to you by felix freely when you had asked, your fingertip running down his arm from his shoulder to his wrist. the likely areas where secrets may have been hidden, restricted to you and glossed over by felix when he would walk with you around the castle. you hated it, categorizing this information into handy little parcels that you would deliver to your father.

a welcome distraction came in the form of the very thing you should be avoiding; on a few occasions, felix had christopher and his betrothed, roseanne, accompany the two of you on whatever excursion he had planned for that day.

a simple picnic in the garden, juicy fruits picked just that morning and fresh baked bread and crumbly cheeses to snack on while the four of you talked. conversation came easy with chris and roseanne, once you broke out of the too familiar anxiety that surrounded you when with new people. felix’s warmth from where he was settled next to you, allowing you to lean into him, helped more than you wanted to tell him. chris was so similar to his brother, sharing his kindness and his humor, though his jokes were cheesier than felix’ dry sarcasm. roseanne was lovely, someone who you could see as a close friend under different circumstances.

a on a visit to the lower towns, just as lively as it was the first time you went. it was then that you officially met hyunjin and seungmin, the prince’s assistants. the way they bickered with one another, and their royal counterparts, made you laugh so hard that your stomach ached with it. even they were striking, and it left you wondering whether one’s disposition on the inside reflected their beauty on the outside.

your friendly chatter continued into mealtimes, where the kings would join you, the very few times where you would get to see king stephen at all. he bantered with his children, asking them about their days and their plans for the next ones, acted like a father instead of a king with them. it sent a pang of longing through you - your father had been like that, before. you don’t think he remembered how to be a father, anymore.

as much as you loved the prince’s company, you hated the approving nods you would get from your father whenever he saw you and felix together. the acknowledgement that you craved for just weeks ago felt near futile now - he didn’t see that instead of making the prince fall for you, the opposite was taking place. he didn’t see the genuine connection between the two of you, the way you craved for him, the way nothing else seemed to matter when he was in front of you. he didn’t care about your heart, about how it would likely break beyond compare when he he was finished here. he didn’t care about you.

the you that was falling for felix. for his compassion, for his gentle nature, for his quick wit and effortless beauty. for the way he treated those around him, for the way he spoke to you like you were more than a pawn in a cruel game of chess. it made you sick to your stomach to think about what was to come, what you hopelessly wished you could avoid. you find yourself wishing, not for the first time, that you and your father were truly here seeking peace. that you could imagine a future here without guilt gnawing at your chest.

the closer you grow to felix, the stronger the gnawing feeling in your stomach becomes. but you can’t stay away from him, even if you tried; the sparking light in his eyes drew you in and you were helpless to his magnetic pull. the way he would beckon you over with his hand, palm facing upright as if waiting to join with your own, left you no choice but to go to him. you knew you were selfish, spending time with him out of your own desires while doing nothing to warn him of what was to come and making no actions to follow through with your father’s wishes. you knew your time here, living in peace, was running short, the last dribbles of sand slipping down an hourglass.

and yet, when he finally pulled you into an empty alcove and held you close so that he could press his lips gently to yours, you let him. you responded in kind, moving together with him like some kind of dance.

when he invited you into his chambers and into his bed, you didn’t say no. even then, when he gave you all of himself, you took it.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

fire, this time contained in a ring of wooden slats, smoke curling up into the night sky. felix, by your side, you tucked into his side while the two of you claim it’s warmth for your own.

“why?” felix says, running a hand up and down your arm. you hum, snuggling further into him when a breeze makes it way to you through the trees surrounding you.

“why what?” you ask, voice syrupy sweet.

“why did you do it?” he turns towards you, the flames still visible in his eyes. he glances over your shoulder pointedly before turning back to the campfire, pulling you into him again. you look behind you, and a firestorm meets your vision. you can barely make out the outline of the beautiful palace through the inferno, but a figure stands out in the center of it. you move closer, the heat threatening to scorch your skin, to see your father strapped to stake. burning. dying.

you turn back towards felix, question dying on your lips when he’s not there. a sick feeling enters your stomach as your gaze returns to the fire, and where your father was is felix in his place.

you let out a horrid scream.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

waking up to the sight of felix, blonde hair illuminated by the morning light like a halo around his head, was something you think you could never get used to. even if you were allowed this under better circumstances, if the two of you had fallen together after meeting at a ball or a diplomatic meeting, his beauty was something that you truly could not comprehend.

you have half a mind to scold both him and yourself for breaking proprietary, for falling into bed with one another out of wedlock, as parts of two separate kingdoms that have yet to establish ties. you don’t, though; you were as much at fault as he was, and you had enjoyed it too much to ruin it for either of you. you do not acknowledge the guilt that was creeping up inside of you from your dishonesty, or the remainder of fear that lingered from your dream. looking at felix while he slept seemed like a much better way to spend your time.

he is equal parts pretty and cute when he mumbles, smacking his lips together as his eyelids flutter, holding onto the last pieces of sleep he can. when his brown eyes peek through his eyelashes and land on you, you can see the smile in his gaze.

“morning,” his deep voice rumbles, and he pulls you close to him by the waist. you land almost on top of him, his movement making you lose your balance from where you were perched on your elbow watching him, and you both let out breathless laughter at your undignified flailing. you settle against him, his chest pillowing your head while you trace senseless patterns into whatever patches of skin you can find.

you can still feel the phantom touches that he had imprinted on you the night before, as he held you more gently than anyone ever had. you can feel the silky smooth strands of his hair under your fingers, the ghost of his breath panting against your neck. you can hear the sweet sounds you pulled out of him over and over.

“penny for your thoughts?” he asks, just as he did when he met you in the gardens the very first time.

“mm,” you sound, not wanting to break the peaceful silence the two of you were basking in. “just thinking about my mother.”

“oh,” his face drops in sadness. not in pity, but in compassion. in empathy, for of all people he would understand; he lost his mother, too. “can i ask how she passed?”

a refusal is at the tip of your tongue, as it is when anyone asks about your mother, but it fizzles out when you look at him. you found yourself wanting to talk about this with him.

“she was sick,” you start, early memories of your childhood filtering into your head. “since i can remember, she was sick. it took over her body slowly, it took years for her to succumb to being bedridden. she would paint for hours and hours, back then, until she collapsed. but then, it took over her mind too. that was the worst part, her forgetting who my father was, who i was, forgetting who she was. when she passed, it was almost a relief, i could not stand to see her in that state of pain anymore. i was twelve, when it happened.”

“i am sorry,” his voice is deep, thick with sadness. “that sounds like something a child should never have to go through.”

“what about…” you trail off, not wanting to make it sound like the two of you were trading secrets like giggling children.

“she was murdered by bandits, in the lower towns, just a few years ago,” he answered your unfinished question. “she went further than she was supposed to go from the castle grounds, and she always refused to bring knights with her. my father blames himself, and i blamed him for a long time too. but it was not his fault.”

“i am sorry, too,” you place your hand on his cheek, hoping the weight of your caress would surpass the lack of words you offered him.

“as strange as it is to say, i-” he cuts off for a second, letting out a strangled laugh that didn’t reach his eyes. “i am glad that you understand. it is hard telling these things to people that have not experienced that kind of pain.”

you don’t think it’s strange at all. it settles something within you, the part of you that had felt so alone for years. for all of his charms, it was this display of raw honesty that transformed what you had thought to be superficial attraction into something more, something deeper.

“i feel the same,” you close your eyes, trying to tamper the nausea that arose at those words. you’re going to take his father from him too, your back-stabbing mind informs you. and his brother, you don’t deserve his comfort.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

your father calls for you that morning, sending a note to your chambers. you only see it when you finally get out of felix’ bed and make it to your own to freshen up, a smile present on your face that you can’t help.

every step you take towards your father’s chambers feels more and more like you’re signing your death wish, and the sound of his door opening several moments after you knock on it sounds like cannon-fire in your head.

“you asked for me?” you move closer to the desk where he had sat, and from your position you could see messy piles of paper with words that had been angrily scrawled on them.

“i have asked you for many things,” he starts, voice dripping with condescension. “but it is good to see that you can manage to follow simple orders.”

his passive aggression makes your blood boil; after weeks of being treated so kindly by your hosts, your patience was wearing thin in the face of your father.

“i am trying to earn their trust fully,” you try to reason. “it is taking longer than expected.”

“and sharing a bed with him is not enough? whoring yourself out to them has not given you the opportunity to find out what you need?” his words were almost enough to make your skin catch fire. how did he possibly know what you and felix had done? “complete what i have asked of you, now. the faster we finish this, the quicker we can leave this horrid place.”

leave this place, and go back to what? an empty castle where you are disrespected, forgotten, ignored? a place with no life, no joy, no laughter? you weren’t sure what you wanted anymore, but you were certain that going back was not a favorable outcome.

“i’m not a servant that you can bark orders to,” you bit out, regretting it almost instantly when he stood up so fast that his chair fell to the floor behind him.

“watch your mouth,” he growls, stalking towards you, and you take a few steps back from him. “it seems that the only thing you’ve learned from the insolent brats here is how to be weak. how to disrespect your king, the one who has clothed you and fed you since you were born.”

your king, he said. not your father.

he grabs you by the neck and pushes you back, back, back until you’re up against the door, his grip strong enough that you knew would leave behind a ring of bruises. you wish you could deem this unfamiliar, but the sensation of feeling pain caused by his hands was not uncommon.

“i am growing tired of your excuses. you think they care about you? they would kill you in an instant if they knew what you have been hiding.” he moves closer, until his face is inches from yours and you cannot look anywhere but at him. “if you know what is good for you, you will stop this insolence and do as i say.”

when he removes his grip from you, your knees give out, and you brace yourself against the doorframe to keep from falling. he returns to his desk, not sparing you a glance as you leave his chambers and close the door behind you.

you don’t notice the frightened frame that had been standing outside the door through the tears clouding your vision.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

you’re sitting at the fireplace in your chambers when you hear your door open, jeongin slipping in and closing it quietly behind him. he settles himself next to you, taking in your haggard appearance.

“your father is not here to make peace, is he?” he asks, his voice quiet and free of judgment. like he was confirming what he was already known to be true, not making an accusation.

“no,” you answer simply, too exhausted to try and lie to him. your friend. maybe the first real one you’ve ever had.

“you are helping him.” he says, letting a crumb of distress loose into his voice.

“yes.”

“you have come here under the illest of intentions, gained our trust,” he starts, calm. quiet.

“i know,” you sigh.

“you are going to hurt a lot of people.“

“i know.”

“you are going to do it, even though you do not want to.”

“i know, jeongin!” you snap, feeling guilty when he jumps a little.

“it’s just,” he’s playing with his fingers, a tell of his nerves. “i remember what it was like, at home. before, and then after. when things changed, when people became meaner. more cold, and closed off. that is why we left, and came here. don not make us go through that again.”

“i am sorry,” you whisper, a heavy, uncomfortable feeling settling in your stomach at his words. all you can offer him is an empty apology, useless as it is.

“i had hoped that you would be different. that you would stay true to who you were, or who i thought you to be.” he’s looking into the fire, not blinking as if mesmerized. as if he’s trying to dissociate from this moment in a way you wish you could. “when i saw you here, you still had it. that light, from before.”

“i do not want to do it, innie,” you choke out, echoing his words while your eyes burned. “i do not know what to do. i never wanted this, i hate it.”

“i know,” he says. “i can see it. in everything you do, your hesitation, the way you hold yourself back. but you do not understand.”

“understand what?” you’re exhausted, you don’t have it in yourself to be frustrated at him.

“that you have a choice,” he says, as if it was a simple thing. “that you can choose to end this, choose to do what you know is right.”

“i am scared,” you wobble out.

“being scared is good,” he finally breaks away from the fire, but the light in his eyes burns just as bright when he looks at you. “it makes you genuine. that is what makes you different from him. but you do not have to let that stop you.”

“i do not know how,” you whisper, voice barely carrying over to him.

“figure it out,” he says, just as quiet. “or i will do something, that you will not like. i will not let you harm my friends, no matter who you are.”

he leaves you then, slipping out of the chambers as quietly as he had come in, leaving you to your thoughts and what felt like a never ending stream of silent tears flowing from your eyes.

the next morning, you hand jeongin a note to give to hyunjin for christopher.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

the sun had been set for hours when you wrap a scarf around your neck to hind the greenish blue splotches forming around your neck and secure the buckles on your boots. you hadn’t seen felix all day, but you knew that if he asked you to spend the night with him that you wouldn’t be able to follow through with what you were about to to.

your cloak shrouds your face from anyone who might be awake as you quickly make your way through the gardens, to the bench that you often inhabited. christopher is already waiting there for you, a grim look on his face.

“why did you ask me here, my lady?” he asks, clearly confused.

“please, i need you to listen to me,” your voice is hushed, like you’re scared of anyone hearing despite the hour of day and the concealed location you had chosen.”i am going to tell you things that you will not like, but i need you to listen until the end.”

“are you alright?” he looks concerned at how desperate you sound, but you shake your head. now isn’t the time for him to worry about you.

you tell him everything. the things your father had said about his family, the plan he had concocted before even stepping foot in this kingdom, the way his demands have been increasing from your lack of progress. the way you had changed as a result of being around the people here, that you didn’t wish to play in your father’s game any longer. you watch as his face morphs from surprise to anger to betrayal and back again, a cycle of emotions that might be comical under any other circumstance.

there were many ways you could have done this; telling the king for one, but this would open the chance of him ending your life along with your father. trying again to reason with your him, making it clear that you weren’t going to comply with his demands, but you could never see him compromising his mission. there was one single thing that you had thought of that had a chance of succeeding, with your head still attached to your body.

you end your speech with a demand, simple as it is, and that’s when he shows disbelief.

“you want me to kill your father?” he asks, incredulous.

“i may have loved him once,” you admit, voice thick with emotion. “but not anymore. he is not my father anymore, he is a tyrant. there is not a single soul in the kingdoms that would benefit from him being alive.”

“how do i know i can trust you?” he raises a cool brow, indifference masking whatever he was truly feeling underneath. “what if this is part of your plot?”

“you do not have time to consider my legitimacy!” you cry out, desperate. “i have tried to delay him, to think of some way out of this. he is getting angrier by the day and i fear that he will do something without thinking, something bad, and soon.”

“why not just leave then?” he asks, as if giving you a test. for all it was worth, it was a test that you wanted to pass. “why go through all of this when you could just get out, save yourself?”

“that would not be fair to my people, to leave them with him,” your words come out more passionate than you expected them to. “they deserve better than that. and it would not be fair to you, either. you have shown me more compassion than anyone has since my mother was alive. i will not repay that kindness by leaving like a coward.”

“has he hurt you?” the question catches you off guard, as does the concern filtering through his gaze. you bite your tongue; you want to answer, tell him yes, but that tiny, frightened version of you inside stops the words from coming out. you want to pull down your scarf, show him visible proof of the way your father treats you, but your hands feel like lead. he takes your silence as a confirmation though, nodding and cursing under his breath.

“i will not kill him,” he says, and you open your mouth to beg, plead for him to listen, but he holds a hand out as he continues. “but i will keep my guard up. i will not take this lightly; my father’s life is in danger, and i will take every precaution while i gain information.”

you sigh through your nose, defeat making your body sag into the bench. this was your last chance; chris may as well have just sealed all of your fates.

“please understand,” he says, weary. “i cannot go to my father with accusations when i have no proof. i believe you, i just need evidence before i can act.”

“please, just,” you say as you stand, not wanting to ask him for another impossible task he might refuse. “do not tell felix? i cannot have him getting caught up in this. i do not want him hurt.”

“you care about him.” he states, as if he is already sure of your answer.

“more than i thought possible,” you answer, and it is the truth.

“i cannot promise you that i will keep him in the dark. he is my brother,” he frowns. “we do not keep secrets from one another.”

“please,” it’s all you can say before you walk away, pulling your hood back over your face. you can only hope that he will listen to your plea. if not for your sake, but for felix’.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

you should go to your own chambers, should stay away from felix until things were figured out, done and over. but your feet take you to his door instead of your own, and you’re inside his chambers before you can second-guess your stupid decision. you can tell he’s awake by his breathing, irregular and short, and it both pains and excites you that you are allowed to know things about him in that capacity.

“hi,” you keep your voice low, almost a purr as you climb into the bed and throw an arm around his curled up form. his nose scrunches and he wriggles a little bit, almost dislodging you, but you keep your grip strong. you don’t know when you will get this again.

“you smell like outside,” he complains, his body going lax. “where were you? i missed you.”

“just checking on some things,” you mumble into his skin, your lips finding home on the back of his neck. “i am all yours now.”

“do you not have people to check on things for you?” he asks, opening his eyes finally and turning his head towards you. you’re glad for the lack of light that keeps him from really seeing you. seeing the stress pinching your brows together, and the guilty frown that you can’t get rid of. “i have told you, my staff are there at your disposal. for whatever you need.”

“why trust others to do things i can do myself?” you quip back, the guilt of not telling him eating at you. you bury your face into his neck, hiding yourself, and the hand he tangles into your hair soothes you a bit. you feel tears welling up against your will and you let a shaky breath out into his honeyed skin.

“are you alright?” he tries to move your head up to look at you, but you refuse, shaking your head.

“i just really care about you, you know that right?” you admit, the last words you spoke to chris echoing in your head. “i didn’t expect to ever care about someone this much.”

“i care about you too,” confusion laces his words, and he runs a hand up and down your back. “are you sure you are alright?”

“i will be.”

so will he. you would make sure of it, somehow.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

felix is out of bed by the time you awaken the next morning, but it isn’t something unusual to wake up to cold sheets next to you. he is a prince, after all, and he can’t spend all hours of his day with you. if anything it’s better that he’s gone today; it will help you keep the distance that you failed to keep the night before.

you’re slow as you dress, the decision you made before you succumbed to sleep weighing heavily on your shoulders; you were going to speak to your father, for a final time. you were not going to give him a choice, you were going to rob him of the basic right that you he so often deprived you of. you were going to make him listen to you, for once.

but when you enter his chambers, he is absent from them. you try and dampen the dread creeping up your throat; surely, he wouldn’t act now? only a couple of days after you last spoke?

you approach his desk, looking for any sort of clue that might lead to his whereabouts, but what you find is worse than you’d imagined. pages upon pages of plans, detailed imagery of how he wanted to kill the king and his sons, how he wanted to enslave the people here, how he would take the resources here and let the land rot and decay, all scribbled down in near nonsensical sentences.

stupid man, leaving these out for anyone to see. you swipe them off the table, folding them neatly and tucking them into the bodice of your dress where no one would find them, just as your father enters the chambers. your hand flies to your chest, covering up what you had just done, but your father must think it an act of surprise from his lack of acknowledgement.

“what are you doing here?” he asks, eyes narrowed on you. you hold your head up even when you want to cower before him.

“the crowned prince knows of your betrayal,” you inform, watching as his eyes filled with anger. no fear, as you had expected.

“how,” he growls, making quick steps towards you and taking both of your arms in a harsh grip. his rings dig into your flesh,

“i told him,” you say, surprised when the words come out clean and leveled and your head stays up high. “i will not help you any longer. the king will know soon, and you will be thrown in prison.”

it was an empty threat; you knew the king was still unaware of what was going on.

“you would trade me for these people you barely know? the same people who killed your moth- your grandfather?” and it clicks into place. he made a mistake, he misspoke, and it showed the last of his cards that he had kept so carefully hidden from you. it’s clear now: he’s gone mad, searching for some kind of revenge, even if it is on the wrong people. he’s locked himself into some grief-fueled conspiracy, and you realize now that he’s truly lost to you. that he had been lost, for years now.

“you are not fit to rule over anything,” you snarl. “you are not fit to be a father, you are not fit to do anything more than sit here and place blame on everyone but yourself!”

he doesn’t react for several moments, searching your face for something, before letting out a bark of laughter, eyes wild.

“you ungrateful, insolent, stupid girl,” he shakes you with every word, and your teeth rattle. “you think you can threaten me?”

he raises a hand and the back of it strikes you across the cheek, metal catching on the delicate bone there. you fall to the ground, the force of it knocking you off balance, and when you raise a shaking hand to your burning skin it comes back flecked with blood.

“get out of my sight,” he spits at you, stepping around your form as if you were a mere pest before him. “this changes nothing. your threats mean nothing, but heed mine. if you ever step foot in front of me again, i will have you hanged. from now on, you are not my daughter. you are nothing.”

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

the walk to your chambers feels longer than usual despite your hurried steps, and you can’t shake the feeling that something unfortunate was going to happen, soon. what did your father mean when he said that your warning changed nothing? did he not believe you?

you don’t dwell on his clear descent to madness for long; you curse yourself for not seeing the blatant signs of it earlier, his obsession and his misplaced fury, but you know that there are more pressing issues that need your attention.

perhaps a further look at his aimless scribbling would give you some answers. either way, it was the proof you needed, the evidence chris claimed was necessary to have before approaching king stephen with your claims. you knew needed to act, and soon.

when you find felix already in your chambers, his presence is enough to qualm the hurricane raging under your skin. it comes back full force, though, when you look at him and he’s angry.

“when were you going to tell me,” he starts, voice ice cold like you’ve never heard it before. it terrified you. “that you were planning to kill my family?”

“what?” you gasp out, every nerve in your body freezing to stone. any urgency you were feeling regarding your father is wiped out, replaced with cold trepidation. chris told him.

“you came here to kill my father, to kill my brother and his love and to, to use me,” he grits out, voice trembling, and you can’t stand it.

“no, i-” you choke out, the words escaping you. you wanted to tell him everything, wanted to show him what you had found and bring the evidence to his father together, but you can’t get it out. “maybe at first, but no, not anymore-”

“not anymore?” he cries out, incredulous. “how can i trust anything you say to me? you’ve been lying to me since you got here, lying about everything, lying about caring for me-”

“no, felix, i love you,” the confession rips out of you and the timing couldn’t be worse. you wanted to tell him after, when things were not in the uncertain state they were in now. you wanted to give him the confession he deserved, something worthy of the man that he was. he shakes his head at your words, crystal tears forming in his eyes.

“you do not get to say that to me,” he bites out. “i do not even know who you are, you have been lying to me from the beginning, playing with me, you do not get to say that.”

“i did not want to,” you almost wail, the feeling in your knees giving out as you fall to his feet. the emotions that you haven’t been letting yourself feel were pouring out of you. “i did not want to, but he would have killed me, or married me off to some brute to get rid of me and i had no idea what to do.”

you want to shout, look at what he did to me, look at the evidence of what he would do to me, but you can’t.

“stop. stop talking.” he drags you to your feet by the arm, grip harsh like he would rather do anything than be touching you right now. “get out of my chambers. i want you and your father out of my home, and if you do not leave i swear to the gods i will tell my father to have you hanged.”

you stumble towards his door, turning back to throw one last pleading glance at him, and you regret it as his next words cut you right to the core.

“they warned me about you, did you know that?” he’s no longer speaking out anger, but rather cold indifference. it’s worse, somehow. you wanted to ask who they were, but in the moment it truly didn’t matter. “they told me about your family, how vile you all are. how you would poison us from the inside. but when i laid eyes on you, i did not believe them. i know now, that i should have.”

your body remains frozen long after he leaves, and you don’t realize that your body has moved to your bed until jeongin peeks his head into the door.

“innie,” you choke out from where you’re laying over the covers. he rushes to your side, and his face falls when he sees the tears leaking from your eyes.

“what happened?” he pushes your hair out of your face with the tips of his fingers, so gentle that you can’t help but let out a sob.

“felix,” you stutter out. “he hates me- he wants me gone. and i don’t blame him, i hate me, but innie, it hurts.”

you let jeongin pull you into his arms, tears leaking into his shirt, and even then your traitorous heart wishes it was felix holding you like this. the last thing you remember before sleep clouds your mind is jeongin whispering i’m sorry into your hair.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

fire, but this time it surrounds you. not burning, but encasing you in warmth, covering your body completely. it spreads, catching onto the surfaces around you.

it’s threatening to combust, taking you with it. you didn’t know what do to. flee? protect, your mind demands. so you run, past door after door, passing by people who beckon you inside. you can’t, you need to leave.

chris, asking you to come inside. minho, calling you in for a meal, fresh and fragrant. jeongin, asking you to join him, telling you he’s worried about you.

felix, standing still as stone on his balcony. your father behind him, eyes dark as they narrow in on the prince. no.

you rush to them, gliding past felix, your flame sliding off his skin like water. you push your father away, your momentum carrying the both of you forward as the flames catch on his frame.

falling, falling, falling, off the balcony towards an endless pit of darkness. you look up and felix is watching, beautiful face twisted in anguish as he watches the two of you plummet.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

you didn’t leave. despite felix’ warnings, you didn’t make any moves to flee the castle. you needed to see this through, needed to ensure that the people here were safe; the only way you would leave this palace is in the absence of your father’s company. if you were going to die, you would rather it be by stephen’s hands than by his.

you almost don’t leave your chambers, terror paralyzing you as you sit on your bed, waiting nervously for something to happen. whether it be news from christopher about his efforts or a group of knights ready to take you to the dungeons, your body itched for some action. you don’t leave for breakfast, and you don’t let jeongin in when he quietly brings you a meal and leaves it at your door. you pick at it, watching the morning sun rise into the sky and wishing you had a jug of wine to drown yourself in.

by midday, you had made up your mind; you were going to enter the king’s chambers, deliver him the information you had, and sneak away from the palace at night. where you would go, you did not know, but you knew that you were not welcome in either court anymore. you had ostracized yourself from your home and from the group of people here that you hoped to one day call your family.

you had no one. and it was your own doing.

you push away the thought as you hurry through the familiar halls, stopping at one of the only doors you had yet to enter. the king wasn’t in his chambers, you discovered, when you spent several minutes knocking on the door to no avail. the council chambers were empty as well, and you felt your heart speed up as you raced through the halls, avoiding any person you saw. your boots clicked on the stone as you hastily entered and exited chambers and hallways, searching desperately for the king, hoping he was here somewhere.

you find them in the banquet hall, a smile on stephen’s face as he signs a long document with a feathered quill. you’re not close enough to see what it is from you’re standing behind a column at the entrance to the hall, hiding your presence from them. your father moves to stand next to the king when he finishes, leaning in close as he takes the quill from him, and he raises his hand behind the king’s back. in his hand, sunlight glints off of a piece of metal in his hand - a knife,

you look around desperately for a knight to alert, but you find none. why are there no knights here? your stomach lodges itself into your throat as you stare at the two kings, frozen as your father readies the knife, poised to strike stephen right in the center of his back -

“no!” you cry, breaking away from the spot you were glued to as you run faster than thought was possible have towards them. your father turns towards your voice in shock, the knife slicing through the king’s side in a clean movement, and the king falls.

“what are you doing?” your father snarls, the man by his feet forgotten as his attention turns to you. you spare stephen a glance, meeting his wide eyes, and you hope he can see the apology in yours. your father’s forward movement moves your attention to him, and you see him stalking towards you with his knife poised. “i am growing tired of your foolishness, you wretched girl.”

“if you want to kill someone, kill me. not him,” you plead, backing away from him. “he did not kill her, you know that. this, this delusion you are living under, it needs to stop!”

“do not speak of her to me,” you can see his anger rising, redness traveling up his neck. “you are a poor excuse of a woman compared to her. you know nothing. everything i have done, i have done for her, and i will kill you and the rest of them if i need to.”

you’ve heard your father recount his killing of countless adversaries, spoken in cold tones with no regret, but to see him with his weapon raised at you is something you had never imagined in all of your days. it was a truly terrifying sight.

he backs you into the same column you had been hiding behind earlier, a mirror image of the way he had cornered you in his bedchambers days ago. his free hand circles your neck, covering the bruises that he had left behind then, and your hands fly to his wrist.

“this will never free you,” you choke out, tears brimming in your eyes that make your vision blurry. this way, when you look at him, his features are so unfocused that he almost looks like he used to, when he was sane. kind. “do you not understand? this will not bring her back. you will be truly alone.”

“better to be alone than living with you as a reminder of what i have lost,” he says softly, the sharp blade of the knife pressed to your side, stinging as it nicks your skin.

you close your eyes, resigned to your fate. this was how it was going to end, no matter what. you, suffering from the result of his hands, his jolted mind. you, a mere ghost of your mother, biding your time in this world until he decided that you had none left. living a life that would never truly be your own.

no.

your eyes fly open and meet his and he hesitates, the knife pulling back the smallest bit. you take the chance, your hand moves from one of his wrists to the other and you twist, taking in a sharp breath when he gasps and lets the knife clatter to the floor. he lets go of your neck and you drop, grabbing the handle of the knife with a shaky hand and slashing upwards, hoping that it would land somewhere.

he drops to the floor with a howl of pain, clutching at his thigh, and in the next moment you’re on top of him, pinning him to the floor with a knee to his stomach. the knife is still in your hand, unmoving from how strongly your fingers were grasped around the handle. it would be so easy to plunge it into his chest, so simple. you would finally be free.

you barely register when several knights finally barge into the hall, swords pointed at the two of you. your focus was purely on the man under you, at the madness swimming in his eyes and the ugly curl of his mouth shaped in scowl.

“you will not do it. you are weak,” he wheezes out, confident even as he struggles to speak from your weight on him.

you raise the knife.

a moment of tense silence.

and felix calls out your name. the only voice that could break you away from the trance you were in. his lovely voice, shaped in your name.

when you meet his eyes you drop the knife, and you’re pushed away from your father when by knights who move to secure him in shackles. you stand on wobbly feet, taking in the hall - felix, hovering by your side, hands raised as if he wanted to touch you but couldn’t. chris, standing by his father’s side, supporting him as he rises from the floor. blood drips down his side, but not an alarming amount. he would be fine. your own father, cursing angrily at the guards who were keeping him restrained, his words passing through you with no recognition.

you’re sure you looked horrible, in this moment. hair a mess, chest still heaving, clothes torn. you didn’t belong here. you drop your father’s papers that you kept hidden in your clothing to the ground, watching them flutter before settling, face up for all to see.

“i will leave at first light,” is the last thing you say before leaving the king, the princes, and your father behind you.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

you didn’t look at your own reflection until the next morning. your face was a horrible painting of blues and blacks, and the bruises on your neck are fading into green, though you’re sure more were forming underneath them.

you look horrible.

you didn’t come with many things, and most of them were unnecessary for where you were about to go; traveling into the woods didn’t require fancy dresses and jewelry, so as you packed your bag you left them behind.

the last thing you expected was for felix to push the door to your chambers open, a noisier affair than you were used to from the way the door banged against the wall.

“you are still here,” he breathes out, panting a bit like he ran here. he eyes the bag you were holding warily.

“i am,” you answer, fear seeping into your veins as he moves closer to you. not of him, never of him, but of the power he held over you. of the way his words could break your heart into more fractures than it already was in.

“your father is in line for execution, at midday,” he informs, placing a hand on top of yours when he reaches you, his warm skin stinging the ice-cold skin of your own.

“good,” it’s the only thing you can think to say. the only reaction you can muster from learning that your father was about to die, like you had wished him to.

“chris told me what you asked him to do,” he says, voice low. “i did not stay long enough to hear the whole story, when he told me the other day. i came to you in anger, and i did not listen to you either. i am sorry.”

his voice wobbles in sorrow, and it breaks your heart.

“no, do not be,” you whisper, flipping your hand around so you could tangle your fingers with his. you wanted to feel him like this, at least one more time. “i should have been honest with you. when i chose to go against him, when i chose you, i should have told you.”

“you were scared,” he strokes the back of your hand with his thumb. “of him. and of us, i presume. i cannot fault you for that.”

“i was scared, but-” you cut yourself off, trying to find the right words. he waits for you patiently, eyes trained on your features. “since my mother died, my life has not been my own. i have not been allowed to make my own decisions, i don’t know how to…do this. that is no one’s fault but my own.”

“this?” he asks, velvet soft as he seeks for clarification.

“to be honest about things. to trust people with what’s going on. to…not be scared of people’s reactions,” even this show of candor was sending your heart into a frenzied pace. “i do not know how.”

“then let me teach you,” you can hear the tears in his voice but you don’t look up to meet them. you didn’t think you could handle it. selfish. “please. i do not know what you are planning to do - after, but please do not leave.”

“felix, i have never felt more free than i have here, in this kingdom, with your people. with your family,” you squeeze your fingers around his hand, the only thing you could bring yourself to do. “with you. you have already taught me so much. how do i continue to take and take from you like this?”

“you do not owe me anything,” he vows, bowing his head a bit. “anything i give to you, i give gladly. i act without thinking and i make rash decisions, too. do not think that i am not learning from you in turn. if it were not for jeongin finding me and explaining things to me yesterday, i would have done something horrid. i could have lost you, do you understand? you and i, we are not so different.”

jeongin. once this was all over, you were going to award that boy a house. or a village. whatever he wanted.

“did he do this to you?” he says when you don’t answer, raising one hand to the bruising around your neck and another to your cheek, feather-light fingertips tracing along the lines. “did he hurt you?”

“yes,” you breathe out, admitting for the first time to someone other than yourself what kind of man your father truly is. letting yourself accept that maybe, it was not your fault. that maybe, you deserved something better.

you stayed.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

chris meets the two of you outside your chambers hours later, looking more exhausted than you’ve seen him before. he takes in your linked hands with a smile.

“felix told you?” he asks, gentle. you nod, leaning into felix. “i am sorry, that i did not do more. that it came to that.”

“do not apologize,” you say, resolute. “if anyone should be sorry, it is me. for putting you all through this.”

“if anyone needs to apologize, it is your father,” felix swears, his grip on your hand tightening. “if he was not already on his way, i would kill him myself for hurting you.”

you squeeze his hand back, hoping the gesture would bring him some comfort. violence was not a color that you think shaded felix often, but you couldn’t deny that his protectiveness was attractive.

it is chris’ duty to oversee the affair, but you cannot bring yourself to accompany him. the thought of seeing your father again, restrained and awaiting death, was not something that you wished to experience.

felix stays with you, guiding you through the halls and into his bed, holding you tight the entire time. his presence by your side is overrides the myriad of negative emotions inside of you and for once, your mind is quiet, failing to remind you that you needing felix in this moment was self-serving. it’s as if the thoughts were dying along with your last-living relative.

you wished that you felt happy, relieved to be released from him. or even sorrow, full of grief for your lost father. but you felt nothing.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

chris enters felix’ chambers at dusk, waking you and felix from the sleep that neither of you intended to fall into.

“my father wishes to see you,” he addresses to you, waiting with leveled patience as the two of you slowly rise from the bed.

“is he angry?” your voice comes out as a whisper, betraying your anxiety.

“yes, but not at you,” he assures, settling a hand on your shoulder, his touch light. “do not worry.”

but you did worry, all throughout the walk to the king’s advisory chambers to when you enter the door, startling him out of whatever hushed conversation he was engaged in with his staff. when he looks at you he is angry, and you’re glad in that moment for christopher’s warning. you moved with more confidence than you truly had, chris and felix’ presence at your sides helping more than you cared to admit.

“you wanted to see me, sire?” you ask, your hands wringing together. felix takes one of them into his own, if only to stop your movements.

“i wanted to discuss things with you,” stephen waves off his advisors, waiting for them to leave the chambers before continuing. “regarding your father.”

“my father is dead,” you state plainly, moving forward until you were in front of the king. “i swear fealty to you, my lord.”

you slowly knelt at his feet, gasping in surprise when felix knelt by your side.

“whatever i can do to prove my loyalty, i will do it,” you assured, keeping your head down. normally, you would internally bristle at the thought of kneeling before a king like this, in an act of submission, but this time it was different. this time, it was your choice.

“you have proven your loyalty by going against your own kin, my child,” his voice was thick with emotion. “please, stand.”

you don’t, until felix does and pulls you along with him. you’re confused at his immediate acceptance of you, the daughter of a man who wished him such ill-will. you look at him and you’re sure he can see the puzzlement on your face.

“i did not ask for you here to make you prove yourself,” he explains, gesturing at the papers strewn about the table. your father’s notes. “i simply wished to thank you, for preventing such heinous acts from occurring. these notes…” he pauses, as if gathering his thoughts. “are unsettling. more were found in his chambers, detailing increasingly vicious flights of fancy.”

you would learn later that in your father’s notes were his plans for you, for once his own were executed. perhaps stephen felt pity for you as a result of what he saw. when you meet eyes with the king, any trace of anger is gone, replaced with a deep kind of sadness.

“thank you, for keeping my family safe at the sake of your own welfare. anything you wish for, i will grant it.”

your mind screams at you that you don’t deserve it, that you had put them in more harm than anything, that he doesn’t owe you any kindness.

“i wish for nothing that i do not already have,” you glance at felix, shooting him a small smile when you notice the pride gleaming on his face.

───•───•───✧𓆩⟡𓆪✧───•───•───

it takes less of jumping through diplomatic hoops than you would have expected to sign your kingdom over to stephen. the lands were adjacent to one another, so rearranging property lines was as simple as removing a single line from a parchment map. you learned that it was more common than you had originally thought to combine kingdoms, though usually it resulted from acts of war. you were queen for all of two days before officially resigning.

your father, for all his boasting, did not carry many alliances with other nations, and the ones he did have stephen was glad to cut off. your father’s knights did little more than grumble about having to change their colors, and the ones that refused to were promptly dismissed from service.

the castle that was once your home was a different case; you never wished to go back there, other than to gather the things that still held your mother’s touch. that place hasn’t been a home to you in a while, but you decided that it could be a home to someone.

it would take some time, but you had plans to turn the palace into an orphanage. a place where everyone and anyone could come and seek shelter, food and water, and company. it was the least you could do for your people, who had suffered under your blind eye for over a decade while you sat in your chambers, ignorant to all that was going on outside the palace walls.

the biggest relief was the weight of your kingdom off of your shoulders. maybe it was selfish to think that way, but you had never asked for that life. you knew your people were in better hands with stephen than they ever would have been with your bloodline, and you could think of no better successors than chris and roseanne.

you had your ladies in waiting brought from your old palace, but they did little more than help you dress. jeongin had become your formal assistant, but you considered him a friend and a confidant more than anything. you had offered him and his family whatever he wanted, now that the riches your father held were in your name, but he had refused. he simply asked for a new house in the lower village for his parents and siblings, but stated that he wished to remain in the castle.

you and felix decided to hold off on announcing a formal betrothal, deeming it wiser to let the kingdom that had nearly doubled in size settle first. you had not been together long, after all, and most of your time together was spent with you under a guise. you took the time to relearn each other, to memorize every miniscule detail of the other’s personality, your habits and your mannerisms and your preferences. despite your earlier reservations, propriety mattered little with the two of you; you spent even more time together than you did before, and you had all but moved into his chambers, only using yours when you wanted someplace quiet to think.

you don’t remember a time when you were happier than you were now. for the first time in your life, you looked toward the future with brightness.

#stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #lee felix fluff #lee felix imagines #felix x reader #stray kids x y/n #skz fluff #stray kids fic #stray kids hurt/comfort #lee felix x reader #lee felix x you #lee felix x y/n #lee felix fanfic #felix imagines

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bunplushyy · 2 months

Text

One of those days

Parings: Step-mom!Wanda x fem!reader

warnings: none just fluff and wholesomeness :))

a/n: I felt sad and wanted to write something to take my mind off things, so I decided to write something short. I did not proofread this nor felt like editing it so if there are mistakes I'm so sorry, i wanted to post this for the people who also have bad days maybe this can help, I dunno lol. anyways back to girl rotting and what not, enjoy!! :D

Word count: 1.1k

“Malysh, I’m home!..” Wanda sat her bags down on the couch frowning, usually once she comes home you're running to her with open arms. Since your dad was on a business trip it left you with her. It’s been a couple of days and university had been kicking your ass.

mentally you weren't feeling the best, and it had been eating you away until today after class it broke you.

“Baby.. where are you?” She walked upstairs to your bedroom, only to find you curled up in the bed with the covers over your head.

“oh!! hi darling!!” her usual smile appeared on her face before uncovering your head, finding you teary-eyed and sniffling. “Angel…angel what’s wrong?” your cries started to get louder as she sat you up pulling you in her lap.

“hey.. hey look at me.” She turned your head to face hers wiping away the tears from your face. “talk to me Lyubov..tell Mommy what’s wrong.”

you started to speak but you just broke down in her arms, she let out a sigh and put her chin on your head rubbing your back to help you with your breathing.

“oh, it’s one of those days isn’t it?” you nodded into her chest.

“aww baby…don’t worry, mommy’s here and I have all the time in the world to be with you..”

She shifted on the bed to make you both comfortable rocking you both as you started to calm down a little bit.

“i-i’m sorry... I just-“ you started but she shushed you, running her hands through your hair. “You have nothing to be sorry about printsessa, let mommy take care of you.”

She pulled you into a tight hug, “I know you don’t wanna talk when you’re in this state, But I don’t need you to say anything I just need you to listen to me, honey?” You nodded playing with her fingers.

“It’s all right, baby, It's ok to have these days...Even the people who seem to be the happiest, strongest, perfect individuals on Earth, go through tough days… It happens to me too, baby. Remember?” she started to smile again.

“Remember that even Mommy sometimes is in a bad mood and doesn’t feel good.”

“yea..” you sniffed

“Yeah? And what do you do to help me when I’m in a bad mood?”

“I try to make you feel better..” she nodded before pulling you back into her chest.

“That’s right! but right now, it’s time to make my baby feel better and I know exactly what to do about it,” she spoke in a matter-of-fact tone that made you giggle a little.

“you do?”

“Yes, Of course, I do silly! first off I think my baby deserves some mommy kisses..” She started to kiss you all over your face before she landed on your lips.

your giggles filled the room, as she kissed all over your face and neck, before stopping and moving your hair out your face moving your so that you would face her.

“There’s that beautiful face I know and love, now mommy needs to tell you something important..” your smile quickly turned back into a frown. your anxieties started to show its face again as you removed your hand from hers but she quickly held it again rubbing the back of it to reassure you you were fine.

“Are you ready to hear it?”

you slowly nodded as she took a deep breath and smiled, “I love you.”

she took a hold of your face and looked into your eyes wiping your forming tears.

“I love you very very much angel.” your tears started to fall again your hands pressed up to your face as she pulled you right back into her.

“Aww, malysh,” she rubbed your back.

“shhh it’s ok, mommy’s got you... I didn’t mean to make you cry again but you needed to hear it. I love you so much, you mean the world to me..” she sighed.

“I know you have many responsibilities, and with everything that is going on sometimes you feel overwhelmed but I’m here for you, printsessa. I’m here to help you recharge, on the days you feel drained like today, and I’m here for you on the days you have everything under control and your energy matches the one of a little bunny because you're always my little energetic bunny..” she giggled.

“But still, I’m here for you, sweetheart always and I’m so grateful to be able to do that, cause you know I wouldn't stand to see my bunny like this and not do something about it, right?” you lifted your head and nodded at her before putting your head back on her chest.

“Yes, that’s because you’re important to me, honey. You’re my good girl, My precious baby girl, I will always be here when you need me I promise you.”

“I love you mama..” you mumbled into her chest and she laughed before kissing the top of your head.

She froze for a moment letting the word ‘mama’ ring through her head, out of all the years she’s been with your dad you’d never call her that. It stuck something in her something so… soft and endearing which filled her with so much love.

“I love you too, honey.” she pulled you up to face her again. “Are you feeling a little bit better now darling?”

“yeah, a little bit..”

“Good. But I’m not done cuddling and spoiling you tonight, I think my baby deserves to have a nice dinner.”

“I don’t need-“

“No no, honey you need to eat. How about I make your favorite food and you're going to be a good girl for me and eat it. I’m thinking my famous Chicken paprikash how does that sound?” you excitedly nodded Wanda made this dish a lot when she first moved in with you and your dad, and it soon became a meal you loved for her to make.

“I’ll also let you choose what movies we can watch tonight.. but for right now, we can just cuddle a little bit more.” She held out her arms, you melting right back into them listening to her heart beating and the breaths she took as she started to hum softly as she slowly rocked you.

“Don’t worry, baby…everything will be all right. You'll be fine, Mommy’s here, and I’ve got you. You’re safe with me, sweetheart, There’s nothing that can hurt you, I will not allow anything to hurt you, not while you’re safe and secure in Mommy’s arms. I will take care of you, always my sweet, precious, beautiful baby girl.”

#luna's fics⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda fic #step-mom!wanda #marvel #mcu #wanda maximoff x female reader #marvel fanfiction

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astrologylunadream · 6 months

Text

Who is in love with you +why?🧸🍑🌸♡ (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hellooo it's Lunadream💌 I will show you right now who is currently in love with you and what made them so! hope you find your message🌸💫

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🍂💗

Pile 1🌸

Pile 2🍮

Pile 3🤍

Pile 4🎃

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 💕

Pile 1🌸

Sign energy: School, Heir, Sloth, Sleep, Care-taker, Sun, Venus, 12th house, 6th house, Taurus, 🛩🌹🖤🐭

🧸Your energy: Hellooo my pile 1's are very cute >w< The dreamy type, loves to take cat naps. May have venus in 12th house or taurus in 6th. I'm seeing a youthful appearance for this pile, you take good care of yourself and often engage in skin-care routines, healthy diet, ect. Make yourself very beautiful naturally💗 You have a feminine aura about you, very soft and angelic. You are very quiet at times and may seem half-asleep due to your peaceful nature. You have such calming vibes, very pleasant and beautiful. I feel like this pile have many suitors or perhaps secret admirers you aren't aware of!! I'm getting royalty from another country/land vibes~ may be a descendant of royalty or simply lots of money, the kind rich girl/boy in your social setting.🛍 Some of you are/were very popular in school. Genuine sunshine vibes <3 You just have such a sweet shining appearance, and your personality is like a little flower so graceful and delicate.🌻 Taurus, Libra, Leo, Pisces, Virgo are signs for my pile 1. You could have venus in Pisces or Taurus/Libra. You may be into the color black or feel drawn to people who wear black, like the dark to your light aesthetic kind of thing~☯💗 You love romance and dream of it often, love daydreaming and drifting off to sleep as you imagine the perfect love story. Cinderella vibes♡ Some could be year of the rat or have a pet mouse/rat.

🍑Who is in love with you: Scratch, Accident, Privacy, Rose colored lenses, 8th house, Cancer, Saturn, Taurus, Capricorn, 5th house, 🤗📌🏖⁉️ Alright my pile 1's this is someone you may know already!! Such secret admirer/hidden crush vibes rn💞 This person has a lot of scorpio/plutonian energy, very intense. Cancer, Capricorn, Taurus and Leo placements, they definitely have Scorpio somewhere in their inner planets. Their aura is magnetic and mysterious and almost dangerous in a sense. They are very private and keep to themselves, they avoid huge crowds and parties, they prefer to be alone.👤 They like being in the comfort of their own home, doing their hobbies and things they enjoy all by themselves. This person likes feeling safe, in a quiet environment, and doing whatever they want. I'm getting that they like going to the beach at night lol. They may have injuries or scars, might have glasses due to eye sight issues and this could be contact lenses aswell. They have restricted themselves from romance for a long time, they just spend time alone because they don't trust or believe in having a relationship with someone, they are hesitant to give it a try. So they just stick to themselves and do most activities alone.☹💔 They tell themselves that they don't need anyone, loner mentality. They may have had past experiences believing in love and seeing everything through rose-colored lenses and it ended terribly for them and it stabbed them in the back, leaving them with trust issues and resentment for having any sort of bond with another person. :( I'm seeing a slow warming up to my pile 1 as they finally start to fall into love again when they look at you, it's like their world is being shown in color, reminds me of the wizard of oz...😩😫💌💞 and they're like "tf is this?!?! What am I feeling rn?? Is this love?!!!"⁉️💗

🧁Why they love you: Trust, My love, Mouth, Drama, Name, Water, Capricorn, Cancer, Eros, Earth, 🆕️🟪👎📸 Okaaay I'm sensing a situation right now, you guys definitely stepped into this person's life and they were like 😳🤯🎆 It just hit them, and like this person has a lot of drama around them. So much crap they deal with and you just came in and I feel like you stuck up for this person lmao I feel like pile 1 just finally stood up for this person and just 🤚 to all those who were stirring up drama for this person💀 I feel like you were there for them when they needed it, and when everyone didn't even care about this person and you stepped in and said the truth, you said what needed to he said and your person LOVES you for that just know my pile 1 like omg they find it so attractive and just so empowering.😍😫✊ They felt like they finally found someone genuine, someone they could trust. And it made them so emotional too they felt like they could open up finally, like a new beginning for them.♡ They feel so safe with you by their side, and omg your name is a huge turn on for them btw they love your name and love saying it (and other ways too...😳) They love how compassionate you are to them and everyone who needs it💗 You ground them, and they feel so secure with you. The biggest reason they love you is because of how safe you make them feel and how much they trust you because they trust you a lot my pile 1's and this person does NOT trust easily I'll tell you that.😩 They love how you care so much for others, they know you have a big heart and this attracts them to you even more!!

💌Messages from your person: Tell me your secrets, You don't owe me anything, I wanna marry you, You keep doing this, I know your secret (What is the secret pile 1??? They're so serious about you!!🥺💍💖) Extra cards: Unheard, Mystery, Attraction, Pain, Hobby, North node, Leo, Venus, Gemini, 7th house (Literally they see a future in love/partnership with you the cards speak for themselves you guys!!)

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💫🌸

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the blossom emoji~🌸 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗🌸💗🌸🎀

Pile 2🍮

Sign energy: Chest, Purple, Emotions, Passion, Stage, 3rd house, Eros, Mars, Virgo, Moon, 🔮📵🎤🛸

🧸Your energy: Heyyy we have a pretty person in this pile!! Your energy is radiating I'm getting lots of Virgo, possibly Gemini, also Aries/Scorpio and Cancer for you guys. Okay so let's see I'm getting really spiritual and uplifting vibes from my pile 2's, you are so emotional and that's what makes you so beautiful🥺💖 Singing/performing may be your passion, or you may really have a thing for music. I'm seeing lots of devotion to music like I'm hearing it's your life omg, You have a lot on your mind, and you think and feel a LOT too. You are at a point in your life where you are very self critical and strive for the best, you are willing to do anything for what you love, including love itself. My pile 2 is very protective over their heart and you guys are not letting it get broken, you have an amazing talent for speaking for your feelings. Your playlists say more about you than you ever could😂😭 You love comforting voices/asmr. I feel like you have really soothing voice aswell <3 You have a lot you stress about when it comes to relationships, my pile 2 should just have more trust in themselves, trust the process take it slow and be open to recieving love because you guys deserve it and it anyone can be loved it's pile 2.🥰⭐ You have a passionate mind and spirit and you put a lot of energy into everything you do, if I could give your brain a hug I would lol it sounds so funny🤣🤣 but seriously, take care of yourself and your mind because you tend to overthink and over feel a lot🥺👌💓

🍑Who is in love with you: Yandere, Winter, Chase, Love letter, Height, Capricorn, Vertex, 6th house, Mars, Uranus,🤙😒🐈🍓 Wow... just wow this is quite the person in love with my pile 2's... where do I even start-😫🤯 Okay you guys this person is really into you I mean REALLY into you... the vibe is just almost suffocating with this person's feelings towards you. Yandere is coming through so yeah they've got extreme ride or die feelings for you guys. Virgo, Capricorn, Aries/Scorpio and Aquarius could be in this person's chart. They could be above average height or have a strange height. They are most likely taller than you, they often tower over you or stand next to you in a way that asserts dominance so to speak. This person is someone you see often, they could be a co-worker/classmate or such. They could be born in winter so Capricorn and Aquarius are likely signs for them, also you may have met this person during winter. They are head over heels for my pile 2's and definitely very into them romantically, they are very masculine by nature and act that way toward you. They express their love in a more assertive/forward manner to you. I'm getting kabedons, grabbing your wrists and chasing you down lmao this person is so into you for real. They may send you love letters often or even daily. They are super committed to you and a little clingy too, huge simp vibes🤭💌

🧁Why they love you: Intuition, Toy, Careless, Flirt, Honest, Taurus, Fire, Air, Venus, Pluto, 🐚🤲🏖🌪 They love you because of how genuine, honest and true you are to yourself and others. They are actually obsessed with this aspect of you and the way you are truly yourself. They really went with their gut and just fell into loving you my pile 2's lol this person can actually be pretty quick to fall in love I'm getting. They don't think things through and just let their feelings take over🤭 They love your feminine energy and passionate nature. Honestly this person can't get enough of you😍😭 They are in love with how you show your emotions and how strong and sensible you are with them (even if you don't think so <3). This person may have started to fall for you after being flirted with/flirting with you. For some of you there may have been a very subtle flirting but they took it so so so serious and now they're like, obsessed with you🙃 Lol they love how you speak and your voice made them fall in their seat lmaooo they love how comforting and sweet you are. And that little spark within you that always keeps you going, they really love that about you.❤ They might have realized how cool you are and just brush things off not letting it effect you all that deeply. I'm getting for the most part this person just really enjoys the chase with you and is in love with obsessing over you guys🤣 Watch out cuz just because someone loves you doesn't mean they're "the one" (be careful pile 2 I'm getting some really unhealthy obsession vibes from this person with you and this could even be someone who finds you easy to manipulate/control so always trust your own judgement!!) They got really into your giving energy/soft aura and now they're hooked.

💌Messages from your person: Stop thinking about me, Stop ignoring me, I can't hide it from you, Am I perfect for you? You can't hide your feelings for me (They are definitely thinking about you rn) Extra cards: Society, Amusement park, Luck, Words, Favor, 6th house, Pisces, Chiron, Gemini, Sun

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💫🌸

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the flan emoji~🍮 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗🌸💗🌸🎀

Pile 3🤍

Sign energy: December, Feelings, Seduction, Feet, Caution, Taurus, Neptune, Water, Venus, Moon, 🌇🔚📿🧍‍♀️

🧸Your energy: Feminine aura is prominent in this pile, I'm getting alluring siren beauty vibes🔱🖤 Such powerful seductive qualities and you guys are so attractive😫💋 May have Taurus in 12th house so Aries rising is likely. May have venus in water sign (Cancer/Scorpio/Pisces) or Venus conjunct moon placement. Some of you could love winter or winter clothing, could be born in winter specifically december. You are very charming and beautiful, ahh I am loving the vibe of this pile🥰 You are very cautious of love, it both intrigues you and scares you at the same time. You may worry about sharing your emotions so closely with another person, or wearing your heart on your sleeve. You have a heavy heart and a very fragile one, you know this so you keep it safe and guarded at all times. You don't open up from fear of being vulnerable which has led to you seeming cold or apathetic, but you do feel emotions quite strongly actually. You have a soft imagination and you wish to be beautiful (spoiler: you already are😇). You feel as if love purposely trips you making you fall harder than you would have liked. You may live in the city or love watching sunsets, you love when the sun sets and the moon rises. Jewelry looks great on you, pearls and onyx probably looks godly on you🥺🖤 Some of you are a bit of a loner type, waiting for someone to step in and say "hey why are you alone? You look too gorgeous to be all by yourself"😫😩😭💞 Omg I hope that's the person who loves my pile 3 lmaoooo

🍑Who is in love with you: Affection, High standards, Blame, Hug, Socialization, 3rd house, Lilith, 12th house, Sagittarius, Fire, ☀️🤐🤵☄ OMG I'm sensing a hot couple with you two JUST SAYING😭🥵 Omg we haven't even started yet I need to calm down!!! They got that look about them omg... they're really popular and liked by so many people it's like, who doesn't like them?! Wide smile, messy hair, dangerous eyes...💀 Omg pile 3 why am I freaking out so much this is great- Their voice makes you high that's what I'm hearing LMAO you wanna hate them but then you can't omg I'm hearing this persons a catch like others would KILL to date this person...🤯 This person lights up the room I mean set it on fire🔥 They have a way with words, and omg they have a knack for telling dirty jokes at parties and like they're so smooth about it-😳 I'm just gonna say it this person is probably really hot my pile 3 the person in love with you is HOT. But you wanna know what?? The worst part of all is they just wanna give you a hug!! They don't want a wild night or some naughty crap they just want to make you smile😭😭😭 They seem like a bad boy/girl but for you they're so sweet I can't...💓 They just wanna make you laugh and talk about your interests. They find you so amusing and exciting to be around, some of you may have a bad impression of this person. So you could be really on the fence about them, or shutting them out completely because you think they're bad news. I'm hearing "don't blame me" you may blame them for some reason!! They could be someone you like and blame them for your feelings😝💕

🧁Why they love you: Past, Magnetic, Acceptance, Passion, Dare, Chiron, Scorpio, North node, Pisces, 2nd house, 😭⁉️😟🦥 Awww I feel like they saw you and was like 🥺!! Like when you see a little cat on the street and you just melt😫💓 I'm getting fast attraction vibes with this one, this person probably fell quick for my pile 3's. I feel like they were like "wow who's this hottie?" Or something like that omg just like such raw passion🥴🔥🧲 Mars in 1st house overlay vibes~ It could have been a dare from their friends to try and win you over, but they just fell deeper in love with you😍 I feel like it was first physical attraction that led them to seeking more about you, then once they saw the deeper shades of your heart they felt even more inclined to love you!! They love your magnetic aura and how you're healing yourself from damaged emotions. They think you're so strong and your endurance is very attractive to them, they have much passion and respect for my pile 3 and just overall so much love!❤ They want to he that shoulder to cry on when you finally open up to them, and they love the true you, the emotional and vulnerable you. They love your chaotic little mind, they also really fall in love with you when you cry. It makes them feel drawn to protect and be there for you, to experience everything you are feeling. They're the type to put themselves in your shoes, just so they know exactly how you feel. They love watching you grow and heal, and transform into the the strongest most powerful person you can be.🤧🖤

💌Messages from your person: Sing to me, I thought it was all in my head, Focus on me, I wanna kiss your neck, You make me so happy (Ahhh so cute😍❤) Extra cards: Angel, Out, Cafe, Girlfriend, Innocence, South node, 11th house, Scorpio, Leo, Fire (My pile 3 they wanna ask you out on a date <3)

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💫🌸

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the white heart emoji~🤍 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗🌸💗🌸🎀

Pile 4🎃

Sign energy: Accusation, Admiration, Fear, Company, Fit, Gemini, Lilith, 9th house, 5th house, Saturn,🧚‍♀️🌇✌🦋

🧸Your energy: You give ethereal fairy/pixie vibes, you probably dreamed of becoming an air pilot as a kid😆 You enjoy having people over in your home. You felt restricted in your early years by others, so you admire those who can live freely and live in chaos and fun. You desire change in your life and all you want to to have a good time, others have tried to dampen your fun and good vibes. For some you may have had an older sibling that got on to you a lot, or told you to be more responsible😞 Could have been told you don't fit in with your family, because you are different. But my pile 4 you are so special, you are like a fairy!!😉 So magical and joyful~ you are a child at heart no matter the age, and you probably believe in fairytales at least a little🤏😇💫 You have changed a lot over the years and learned so much, you have many role models. Your child-like nature is both a blessing and a curse, many people hated you for being so light and joyful. But so many people love this about you, those who gave you a hard time felt bad that they couldn't face life as bright and care-free as you do. You truly are a gift to this world⭐

🍑Who is in love with you: Ability, Inactivity, Change, Soft spot, Friends, 2nd house, 8th house, Moon, Uranus, Chiron, 💄🤹‍♂️🌻😚 Omggg this is someone you know pile 4, this could be your best friend or a friend of yours. Could be friends of friends also, lgbtq+ vibes with this person, they could totally be a friend that has a secret crush on you!!🙊 This could be a childhood friend, perhaps someone who always cared for you all along. They are deeply in love with you pile 4 and they are so delicate with you, the way they speak is like a flower so calming and still. Could be Cancer, Taurus, Scorpio or Aquarius placements. I just realized the juggling emoji with the rainbow so that's another confirmation for any lgbtq+ in this pile :D This person loves you in such a pure adorable way, they light up when you smile. And they have the means to truly heal you my lovely pile 4, I mean they could really treat you well. They want to take care of you and probably always did/do.💝 I'm getting that if this is a childhood friend situation that they always cared for you like tend to your injuries, gave you bandaids, shared their lunch, honestly so sweet😭🥺💗🩹 You guys may not have a label for your relationship or it could be very confusing for you both, "are we friends? Do they like me? What are we??" What I'm hearing. This is a very emotional and empathetic native, they are so involved in your comfort and care. They want to check up on you a lot and ask if you're okay <3 This person is genuinely out for your best interest.

🧁Why they love you: Think outside the box, Devotion, Practical, Capricorn, Happiness, Earth, Scorpio, 5th house, 9th house, Saturn, 🌅🧤🎓🗻 I think they realized how smart and capable you are and just how you showed everyone that you aren't childish in a bad way and can actually achieve whatever you put your mind to.🤗 This person is in love with your perseverance and dedication for the things you care about, they love your care-free and fun yet able mentality. They especially love how dedicated you are to being happy and creating your own happiness, that really makes them fall in love💘 They find your mind so interesting and unlike any other, your ideas and beliefs are so unique and innovative to them. You are their little box of happiness awww and they wanna take you with them everywhere they go🥺 They think you're really smart and you never stop amazing them. Every little thing you do inspires this person, and makes them fall deeper in love with you. I feel like they try to think rationally about their feelings for you, because they wanna be thoughtful and rational just like you can be. But of course you make them so emotional and just so many feelings are ignited within this person for you. They love your success and all that you have achieved with your will. They are in awe with the things you do and say, your happiness makes them feel safe. They fell in love with your bright eyes and strong personality.🌈

💌Messages from your person: Cheer for me, No one makes me feel this way, It's karma, I have no boundaries with you, I've changed (I feel like you've inspired this person to keep going and stay strong!! You have shown this person how to be strong and believe in themselves and they honestly adore you for that🥺💓) Extra cards: Show, Interpretation, Sight, Conflict, Softie, Pluto, Jupiter, Neptune, Vertex, Sun

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!💫🌸

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the pumpkin emoji~🎃 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗🌸💗🌸🎀

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

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abbyromanoff · 8 months

Note

I don't if you'll do this request but I wanna request for Fan!Wanda x Singer!Reader (Reader has the music of Elvis Presley) Wanda meets Reader for the first time and they instantly click

I CAN’T HELP FALLING IN LOVE

PAIRINGS: Wanda Maximoff x reader

WORD COUNT: 1631

WARNINGS: fluff, fan!Wanda, singer!R, literally nothing but sweet fluff sooooo :)

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!

Wanda looked at her empty bank account with a frown on her face, she had paid so much to try and get tickets to your concert that she forgot to have common sense. But this was an exception, you were her idol, the person she’d been dreaming of meeting for years. She had posters of you in her room, even, and now she was going to be meeting you. After the concert she’d be able to take a photo with the person she’s been obsessing over for years, this was worth the missed bills.

She entered the building after hours of waiting and took her spot near the front row, admiring the platform that would soon be holding you. Jitters of excitement coursed through her as a smile was plastered on her lips, she had never been so happy.

Shouts of your name could be heard across the entire stadium yet she was the loudest, she couldn’t care less if she’d lose her voice the next day. She blushed from your radiant smile alone and held onto the bars tightly as people tried getting as close to the front, nearly squishing her in. She was trying to enjoy this, but the pain in her stomach from the railing was not making it easy.

“Hey! Can everyone please take a few steps back from the front?” You asked when your song came to an end, the rasp in your voice sending many into spirals. They listened and Wanda was nothing but grateful, especially when she noticed your eyes on hers for a brief moment.

“Thank you, thank you!” The show continued like normal, but Wanda couldn’t stop grinning from ear to ear when watching the way your lips moved so well. She wondered what they’d feel like against hers.

“Thank you for coming everybody! I can’t wait to meet some of y’all, and for the rest of you, have an amazing night!” You were rushed off the stage by your managers and you instantly chugged down the extra water they offered you. While you loved your fans more than anything, it was so tiring and exhausting sometimes. But you wouldn’t trade this for the world, it was your dream since childhood and now you’re here, singing your heart out in front of thousands of people.

“Okay, everyone please calm down, you’ll all get a chance to see them.” The young lady spoke, trying her best to gather the crowd but failing to be heard. You picked at the skin of your nails anxiously and bit your lip, trying to gather yourself before they all started filing through. That didn’t last very long.

Most of the people who saw you were trying their best to talk to you or were crying their eyes out, you helped them as much as possible and gave them a small hug before taking a photo and signing their item of choice.

Once the wave ended, you took a deep breath before they got ready for the next. And it continued that way until nearly two full hours passed. It was close to midnight and while you felt horrible for the people who had to wait so long to see their favorite artist, all you wanted to do was go home.

Wanda, on the other hand, was shaking with joy when she was next in line, her gaze being able to land on your figure with how close she was. You said your goodbyes to the young gentleman in front of you and turned to look at her, eyes widening slightly in result. She was beautiful, you’ve never seen such a woman.

“Uh, hi, it’s wonderful to meet you.” You shook her hand and, even if she was the one meant to be filled with nerves, somehow you were even worse. It wasn’t often you got to meet someone who held such power over you as a normal civilian.

“Hi, Ms- uhm, Y/N.” You chuckled as your hand stayed in hers, only when you realized did you pull away hesitantly.

“Alright, can we get this going? There’s a line of people out there.” You nodded and wrapped your arm around her, pulling her close and smiling as she hugged your waist. A blush was adorning your cheeks along with hers, and when she pulled away, she grabbed something from the back of her pocket and you thought she was going to ask you for an autograph but instead it was a small bracelet. You looked down at the object with a grin, only to notice she was being directed to leave.

“Wait!” She turned around and so did the groups of workers. “Uh, would you be willing to wait for me? This group will be done in about five minutes. Obviously, only if you want to, of course.”

“Yes!” She must’ve cringed at her eagerness and cleared her throat before retrying. “I mean- that would be great, I’ll meet you in the back?”

“Yeah, right behind the curtain and I’ll be there.” She nodded and was then brought to the spot you requested, happiness being evident in your expression for the rest of the few minutes.

Before the next wave could come in, you went to where the brunette was waiting and greeted her with a hug this time, letting yourself linger a moment too long and only pulling away so you could properly see her.

“I’m sorry, I don’t usually do this. I just saw you in the front row and thought you were absolutely beautiful and then you came in and I didn’t want to let you walk away without saying something.” She lowered her head in embarrassment when she was beaming in excitement, not only did she get to meet you but here you were standing right in front of her complimenting her beauty.

“Would it be okay if I got your number? Or I could give you mine, t-that would be okay too. That is if you want to-“ Noticing her rapid nod was the only answer you needed and wanted. You let out a relieved sigh and took out your phone where you accessed your keypad before handing it over. She shakily typed, making sure to read the numbers over and over in case it was wrong.

“There, you can text me after the meet and greet or whenever really, I don’t mind.” She chuckled anxiously and, before you could say anything else, workers were trying to usher you back inside.

“Well, I’ll text you then.” She leaned forward, pressing her lips onto your cheek and leaving with a small wave, trying her best to keep her composure and not completely freak out. The rest of the night she was stuck on your mind as you were hers. She stared at the poster in her room where you sang a sweet melody into the mic, not only did she get to hear it in person but there’s a chance she could again, this time with only you.

Suddenly, her phone rang and she was greeted with an unknown number, but she knew it was you.

“Hey, I know I said I would text but- I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to hear your voice again.”

“It’s okay, I’m actually glad you called, I’ve been thinking about you.” She heard shuffling on the other side along with the beeping of an open car door.

“Oh yeah?” She giggled quietly, trying not to wake up her sleeping parents in the next room.

“Well, would it be weird for me to say I’ve been thinking about you too?” Her heart skipped a beat as one side of her wanted to scream in joy, while the other part of her knew that would most likely blow her chance with you.

“What were you thinking about?”

“Just how nice it would be to take you on a date sometime.” She was silent for a moment before she spoke up, the anxiety inside of you growing and growing in hopes of receiving the answer you want.

“You wanna take me on a date?”

“Why not? You’re simply the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever had the blessing of laying my eyes on and I can already tell you have the kindest soul known to mad-kind, I guess I just want to learn more about you.” You must’ve had experience with dating as you nearly knocked her off her feet. If you asked her to marry her at this exact moment, she would’ve said yes.

“Then I guess I can’t say no to that, now can I?”

“I guess not. How about this Friday night, you busy?” The decision-making went on for only a few minutes as she internally canceled any plans she may have for the next year if it meant she got to spend the evening with you.

“I can give you my address and you can stop by, but I get if that sounds a little creepy for a first date.”

“No, no, that’s fine! Yeah, just send me the info and I’ll be there.” She bit her lip nervously until she saw the text from you, writing down and memorizing the apartment number multiple times.

“Alright, I’ll be there, 8 PM sharp.” You said your goodbyes after nearly half an hour of talking, but you didn’t want to stop yet. You wanted to keep going, to create small conversations again and again if it meant hearing her voice. No one had ever had such a pull on you before, what was so different about her?

Meanwhile, Wanda was already planning her outfit for the upcoming event, scurrying through each dress or jumpsuit to try and figure out what would impress you the most. She had a feeling she wasn’t going to be sleeping tonight.

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ancientgoddessofegypt · 3 months

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ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS PT 11. Thoughts on the 6-12 / 2-8 house axis.

6th house placements - If you're health isn't up to par, this can keep you from landing your desires. Venus in the 6th needs to focus on self care related to beauty. Mars in the 6th needs physical activity or something to keep their brain on the go. Pluto in the 6th house needs to STOP obsessing over their health and mundane tasks. All in all, your health is the reason why your subconscious (12th house) could be experiences certain formalities.

12th house placements - I spoke of how your health is connected to the 6th house, but it's also connected to here. Your subconscious mind can show signs of unhealthy/illness in your dreams & mind through the power of illusions. Whatever the individual is going through mentally/spiritually, it always comes back into the physical. If a Neptune 12th house person is always having nightmares, the physical reality is dense and lowly operative in its physical form. Illusions are the higher focus of the problem, even if there isn't any planets in the 6th house. Mars in the 12th house can deal with irrational thinking, this makes the 6th house go under overwhelming circumstances because the brain is hot wired with an insatiable desire to continue working even when the body is overstimulated.

If no 6th house placements, the person with 12th house placements has to look beyond the spirit and focus on the spirit realm in a way that doesn't always pull them out of their body.

With work, this can keep the most ungrounded 12th house individual from working themselves to death in their subconscious/unconscious mind.

The 2nd house deals a lot with the material world. But its hidden secret is working with the power of its physical essence. Due to the planet or sign in this house, your gifts can show divine talent that the material world can find useful. If you aren't present in knowing where your gifts are, try looking into taurus placements as taurus is the original ruler of this house. The throat is connected to the second house, so with the material world.. We do have to use our speech in order to get our desires met, right?

So for example, Venus in the 2nd house is said to give someone a beautiful voice, especially when singing. In this case, anyone with a venus 2nd house could sing in make money, right? wrong. However, someone with Venus in this house, could be someone whos vocal chords can *stimulate* the senses and vibrations of other people, soothing & calming the physical senses of others, appetizing them and causing them to want more. Remember, taurus is very subtle, and so is the 2nd house. The second house is a house built off sensuality but HELLOOO thats what the material world is based off, its mainly sensual energy.

So with the voice, second house placements can will their desires into reality through the form of *SENSUALITY*. They must pleasure the senses in the physical realm in order to get axis to the 8th house, as this is the gateway to allowing desires to open up to different collectives.

Mars in the 2nd house could need massages or something that soothes the body as there tense nature can make them angst and fall deep into temptation.

Pluto in the 2nd needs healing and the voice needs to be used expansively in order to feel the temple (the gut) to reveal whatever its suppressed in the spirit. The physical realm for pluto 2nd house natives can feel deeply til the point of disconnect, making them boastful yet uncomfortable in their own bodies.

Mercury in the 2nd house should read a little more as their mind needs calm, stimulating pleasure for its senses to keep moving. Their minds are used to hustling to get the job, car, thing they desire, but their mental prowess is normally in a relaxed state and must give themselves time to absorb the world thru just sitting down and relaxing. Absorbing enough information and expressing them through the form of speech and writing is a special way to receive pleasure.

The point I'm trying to make is, the 2nd house *needs* relaxation and pleasurable experiences to the max. Your not here to drive yourself crazy although you will eventually, because taurus/2nd house energy works. and I mean they work HARD. But theres a time to be bull headed, and to just sit down and take in the day. So whatever placement is in this house, you'll have to find what your soul needs in order to be more in awe with your reality. You're not built to just work all the time, you gotta chill out at some point.

Alas, the 8th house. Now this house shows deep seated pleasure. But in a way that's hard to grasp. Interestingly enough, people are able to enjoy your aura's due to the energy you intentionally or unintentionally *feed* them. But you're more prone to searching for you're own sense of pleasure due to it being trapped in a world of people who are looking for something or someone to 'save' them, and you're the puzzle to the prize. Honestly, this group gets enough crap as it is so.. I'll be a little easy with em here lol.

The 8th house is the house of secrets, sex, leisure, and things that go hidden into the unknown. Whenever these individuals are in the public eye, THIS is when they should often look for decodes and examples of how their power formulates in the present eye. Your energy is vulnerable, but not the take for grabs kind of way. Your energy is healing, true, and loud, but its also hidden power that keeps a certain amount of people at bay.

With that being said. When dealing with the 8th house, these individuals have to look within in order to receive the leisure in which they seek. & thru other people, they can have their desires and needs meet within a blink of an eye. Thats if they let it. The people that gets a taste of their essence can feel a drive to open up realms for the 8th house individuals. You don't know why you're doing it , you just are. People are often 'delivered't' by the 8th house person because the caging of their own bodies, emotions and intellect can push through when being just in the same room with them. It's because the secret of being a student of divine knowledge comes from letting go of whats keeping you looked inside of trapped mind or body. So in the presence of an 8th house individual, you will have dark knights of the soul in order to reach yourselves into heaven.

8th house examples I'll go with the sun.

Sun in the 8th house needs to shine their light no matter how extreme it gets. Their energy is big, powerful, and generous. So when they embrace all of their power they can absorb more energy through the public eye. This attracts the right suitors, the right energy, and the magnetism levels are higher when they use their gifts to the fullest. The more they allow vulnerability to shine through their essence, their weight can lighten the load, thus making it either to attract money, or anything they are looking to obtain.

Now dealing with its friend in the second house, lets say the sun is there, too.

2nd House Suns pleasure is through hobbies and activities that make the inner child sing. Whatever it is that they love to do, or has the ability to make them shine will bring them the big bucks. And can be used as a form of monetary value in the process. Acts of pleasure come thru in the form of the sign the sun is in, for example, if its in Gemini, then the second house sun could be deeply into reading, communication is a key for leisure and whatever it is they do for money communication will be a strong outlet in the career.

Like I said before, the 2nd house is more subtle. Its not built on vulnerability like the 8th house. (Taurus/Scorpio is the same way, however Taurus won't allow you to see its hidden face, Scorpios will at some point, but often times, their truest selves comes out with darker nights of the soul.)

So how does this apply to the 2nd house? Look at the 2nd house as 'heaven' the 8th house as 'hell'. Both are needed to ignite balance, while one is looked down upon, the other one is silent in its secrets and doesn't really care what you see. When working with both of them, going into the deepest layers of the psyche (8th house) can help balance out the desires of the material realm (2nd). Because the reason you want a certain material reality to come into the surface is THROUGH the 8th house axis. Because the energy of the individual can will it by force (8th house).

The 8th house - 2nd house axis shows grace, sensuality, and truth as the basis for material realities to come into fruition.

If you have any questions about your own placements in this house, come to me in my asks :) I dont mind responding. Anywho, hope you all enjoy this piece of information of the axis of the 4th house. Ase!

#astrology theories #tropical astrology #astrology thoughts #astrology #astrology observations #spirituality #astro knowledge #astro observations #astro notes #astro placements #astro community #astrology knowledge #6th house axis #12th house #6th-12th house axis #8th house #2nd house #2nd-8th house axis #Deja’s astro observations

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specialagentlokitty · 1 year

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Wednesday x reader - never again

Sitting on the roof of the school, you pulled your knees further into your chest as you stared out into the blackness that surrounded the world.

It was so peaceful, the only sounds being the light breeze through the trees, the way the moonlight bounced of the nearby lake, the stars whinging so brightly above.

Letting out a small breath, you watched as it turned to mist and slowly rose into the sky.

You smiled to yourself.

Standing up, you spread your arms out, closing your eyes as you beamed from ear to ear.

You loved this.

You loved the night.

The darkness.

Everything about it.

But the smile soon fell from your face, because the beauty of the night also hurt.

It brought back memories of a person you wanted nothing more than to just forget, someone who you’d been trying for the past year to get over, to work out of your mind.

And it had nearly worked, up until the point she randomly turned up at Nevermore, burning herself into your brain once again.

And the worst part?

Wednesday Addams didn’t even seem to know who you were.

Jumping down from the roof, you landed on the balcony below and stood there, hands stuffed in your pockets as you buried your face into your hoodie.

“(Y/N)?”

You turned around, smiling at the friendly werewolf who had stepped outside.

“Hey, sorry did I wake you?”

“No, I wasn’t asleep. I was talking to Wednesday, are you okay?” She asked.

You froze a little at the mention of the other girls name, but you slowly nodded your head.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just getting some fresh air is all.” You beamed.

Enid frowned a little, she didn’t believe you, she knew you too well.

Walking over, she leant across the balcony, and you sat down next to her, swinging your legs back and forth a little bit.

“That’s her, isn’t it? The girl you told me who didn’t love you back. It’s Wednesday.”

“How’d you know?”

“The pain on your face when you first met her. Why not talk to her, become friends?” Enid asked.

“She made it clear she didn’t even know I exist.”

“Come on! Surely that’s not true!” Enid huffed, “she’s nice! A bit weird, and shows she cares in weird ways, but she really does care!”

You shrugged a little bit, and titled your head to face the sky once more.

“You don’t know her like I do. I grew up with her Enid, trust me. That girl has no care in the world for other people. She never even noticed me, she doesn’t even remember me.”

“That is because emotions have a habit of ruining things.”

You didn’t bother to turn around, you didn’t have to because Wednesday walked over and stood on the other side of Enid.

“I’ll just…” Enid mumbled.

She could cut the tension with her claws, and she didn’t want to stay around that for any longer.

She simply left the room entirely, wanting to be as far away as she could possibly could get before the tension suffocated her.

Wednesday stood there, and you shuffled to the edge of the balcony.

“I do remember you.”

You glanced at the goth before scoffing.

“Whatever you say Addams.” You spat.

Wednesday watched as you jumped down, landing on the floor below with a gentle thud before you jogged away somewhere.

She wouldn’t admit it, but it felt wrong to just leave the conversation like that.

She felt like she could have said more.

But what more could she have said?

For the next month she would watch you, eyes fixated on you wherever you went, whenever you were close she would watch you intensely.

“Just talk to her.” Enid giggled.

Wednesday tore her gaze away from you, looking at her dorm mate.

“What?”

“Talk to her!”

“Why?”

“Because you clearly want to.” Enid laughed.

“I hardly want to talk to you, why would I want to talk to her?”

Enid began a long spiel about how Wednesday obviously liked you, and how you clearly liked her as well.

Wednesday was sick of the conversation, so she just up and left without another word, deciding to head down to the lake to escape it.

As she was approaching, she realised she wasn’t the only one there.

You were sat there as well, eyes closed, hands resting in your lap as you took slow and deep breaths.

Stopping in her tracks, Wednesday watched you.

She always wondered what you were, you weren’t a werewolf, siren, vampire, or anything like all the other students.

You didn’t fit any of those categories.

Slowly creeping closer, she stopped only a few meters away from you, crouching down.

She could see the soft glow from your eyes, they were fixated on nothing, staring off into the distance.

Clearly you were focused on what was going on around you, and Wednesday couldn’t control what happened next.

“I do remember you. Your name is (Y/N) (L/N), you love nature and animals. You like music and hate spicy foods, you stuck up for my brother whenever he was being weak and I couldn’t be there to get revenge on them.”

Wednesday adjusted, slowly sitting on her knees as she stared at you.

“I know you loved me, and that is a horrible choice really. I’m not good, I’m not someone you should love.”

Wednesday turned her head to make sure no one was around, and when she turned back your (E/C) eyes were fixated on her.

“What…?”

Wednesday quickly stood up, taking a few steps away from you.

“Nothing.”

She went to walk away, but you jumped in front of her.

You stood close, close enough so she could feel the heat radiating from your body against hers.

“Wednesday don’t lie to me. I swear to god if you’re lying to me…”

“I’d rather stick a stake through my own heart.”

“Fine.”

You moved and headed back to the water.

“I’d rather stick a stake through my own heart than admit to anyone that I… perhaps have feelings for you…”

You froze.

“Seeing you ignore me.. it feels weird. I don’t like how it feels, so don’t ignore me.”

You chuckled softly, turning to face her as you raised a hand.

Wednesday felt some water hit her in the side of the face, glaring at you she stormed over and grabbed your wrist.

“Do that again and I’ll bury you alive…”

You smirked a little, leaning forward a little bit.

“You wouldn’t…”

Wednesday leaned forward, her nose brushing against yours.

“Don’t test me…”

She looked down, then she looked back into your eyes before shoving her lips against yours.

It was awkward, and she was tense as you wrapped your arms around her.

When you pulled away she quickly removed herself from your arms.

“Not a word to anyone otherwise I’ll set your room on fire.”

With that, she marched away, but she didn’t get far because she stopped and turned to you, giving you an expecting look.

“Well, hurry up.”

You shuffled your hands into your pockets and walked over to her, the pair of you walking side by side.

You didn’t realise it, but she grabbed the sleeve of your hoodie, only slightly, no one would have even noticed it.

But she did, because you were hers, and she wasn’t letting you get away this time

#Wednesday #Wednesday x reader #wednesday x y/n #Wednesday x you #Wednesday imagine #Wednesday Addams #Wednesday Addams x reader #Wednesday Addams x you #Wednesday Addams imagine

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kowaiitenshii · 11 months

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[Wish We Never Met]

Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader

Plot Summary: You haven’t seen Kylo Ren since he destroyed the Jedi academy you both called home in your youth, and you want nothing more than to forget about him. That doesn’t stop him from reaching out.

Warnings: Kidnapping. Kylo is his own warning. Angst?

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Hello again everyone! This oneshot is the product of a betrayal prompt from a good friend of mine! If this does well and people enjoy it, I will be open to prompts and requests and if the demand is high enough, I may even write a part 2 for this. Thank you so much for all the love on Sunkiller Lullaby again as well!! Please enjoy!

A perfectly clear night on Ossus, a rare meteor shower had been forecasted that night, and you didn’t dare to miss it.

You and your best friend, Ben Solo, had snuck out against your Master’s wishes to watch the shower together.

It was once in a lifetime, after all.

You couldn’t have thought of a better person to sneak out with, you’d known him since you were just ten years old; not that you had many other friends in the academy regardless.

The two of you never quite fit in with the other padawan learners, having earned reputations for being too reckless, too quick to anger, too ready for a fight. But you found solace in one another, always sparring, studying, or shirking off your responsibilities to go on some ill-advised adventure together.

As the two of you grew, as did your fondness for one another. Master Luke began separating you more and more, fearing that you would build ties too strong to sever.

Attachment, of course, was strictly forbidden.

But that did little to stop you from stealing away to see the person whom you were closest with in the entire world whenever you could.

The two of you laughed like the foolish teenagers you were as you ran through the lush green field littered with wildflowers together hand-in-hand, searching for the perfect spot to watch the show.

Cresting the top of the hill, Ben suddenly dropped to the ground, pulling you along with him as you tumbled down through the long grass. As you came to a stop, landing on top of him at the bottom of the hill, you playfully punched him in the arm.

“You really ought to be more careful Ben! We could have gotten hurt!” you scolded him, still laughing like mad.

“You know I wouldn’t let that happen!” he reassures you, laughing back at you as you shift off of him and take a seat next to him in the tall grass.

The two of you spent a long time in comfortable silence, watching the meteors shoot over your heads. It was an awe-inspiring sight, countless comets of every colour followed by their glowing tails lighting up the entire sky above. It truly was beautiful, and you were still unsure if you’ve seen such beauty since.

You spent hours just watching, enchanted by the ethereal lightshow.

That is, until you looked towards Ben, and instead of watching the beauty of the stars, he was watching you.

Your breath caught in your throat, and your heart swelled in an unfamiliar way as you looked at him, realising in that moment that he had grown up, no longer the awkward, lanky boy you knew as a child.

His eyes sparkled innocently in the dim light, reflecting the colours of the stars. His lips were pink and parted, as if to ask something that was caught just on the tip of his tongue. His long raven hair blew in the gentle breeze, tousled by your tumble down the hill.

For a split second, you envisioned running your fingers carefully through his soft locks to fix it for him before forcing yourself to look away.

Cheeks hot and heart thumping in your chest, you tried to remind yourself of the rules of the Jedi you so desperately tried to uphold. You knew attachment was wrong, and love could only serve to destroy you. And yet, the idea of a life lived without ever knowing love, that kind of love, left a hole in your heart that ached for it.

Clenching your fists so tightly your nails dug into the palms of your hands and closing your eyes, you tried your hardest to push your feelings down, to bottle them up and seal them away.

The gentle feeling of Ben carefully, almost sheepishly placing a large hand to your left cheek and turning you to face him snapped you out of your quiet rumination. The sensation of his touch was warm and tingling, spreading goosebumps across your skin like wildfire.

Your eyes met again, Ben measuring your reaction, looking hesitantly from your eyes to your lips and back again, as if he too could sense what you were feeling.

Given the tender, vulnerable expression that spread across his countenance, you knew that he could. The rough pad of his thumb ghosted over your cheekbone, your skin feeling electrified as he touched it, the energies between you rich and palpable.

“(Y/N)...” He whispered your name like a prayer.

Before he could speak again, you would take his face between your hands, crashing your lips into his in a moment of reckless abandon.

They’re soft and wet, the feeling of the kiss itself and the mixing of energies setting you both on fire.

You lose yourself in it, all teeth and tongue and burning desire, kissing him over and over again.

Ben is just about to lay you down right there, in the soft grass beneath the stars, before you force yourself to pull away. Sitting up pin straight and wiping the spit away from your lips, you were too ashamed to even look back at him.

The world goes black.

The next scene that plays is the one that has torn you apart for years.

Standing before the devastated Jedi academy you called home for nearly your entire life, you watched as it burned to ash. Tears flowed in rivers down your cheeks as you sobbed in agony of all that was lost, all because of the boy you loved.

Falling to your knees, Ben’s name tore its way out of your throat in a grief-stricken scream.

Eyes flying open, you jolt upright in bed.

You’re then hit by the same cold realisation that it was all a dream, as you are every time you have that dream. Although, you suppose it's more of a recollection than a dream.

Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you groan groggily as you spot the familiar silhouette of a man’s astral body across the room.

“Ugh… Go away Kylo.” you moan, already becoming annoyed.

Even if he wasn’t there physically, seeing him through the force hurt all the same.

“You know I can’t, even if I wanted to.” he replies matter-of-factly, and you know it to be true. Whatever unseen force it is that binds you to each other, neither of you could control it.

He haunts you like a ghost, torturing your very soul every time you would connect unannounced. His presence tonight is especially wounding, having been freshly reminded of the feelings you held for him despite everything.

Throwing your covers off, you annoyedly begin to stoke the small fire pit in the centre of your hut, doing your best to ignore Kylo’s dark and magnetic presence looming in the shadows.

“Where are you?” he asks abruptly, looking around the room and searching for any indicators of your location.

You roll your eyes, finally looking in his face. His eyes are locked on you as he stands in the darkness of the room, the light of the flames illuminating his features.

He’s every bit as handsome as you remember, all doe eyes and plump lips and strong nose.

He’s gotten taller, and bulkier in terms of muscle than you remember, no doubt enhanced by his new training. Your heart strings tug painfully in your chest, and you remember why you avoid looking at him when this happens.

“You know I can’t answer that.” you whisper solemnly in reply.

“Why not?” he snaps back instantly.

“You know exactly why, Kylo Ren.” you sigh in irritation, spitting his name at him as if it tastes foul. You throw another log into the fire before standing and turning around, crossing your arms and doing your best to shut him out as your anger and frustrations build.

“It would be so much easier if you would stop hiding, if you would just join me.” He continues, ignoring the vitriol in your tone and trying to coax the answer out of you.

“I’m not hiding, Kylo. You just can’t find me. There’s a difference.” you scoff back at him, vaguely pleased when you hear him let out his own irritated sigh.

You’ve been through this hundreds of times, your answers and his questions never changing. Everytime you speak to him, everytime you look at him, the void in your chest that calls to him grows wider. And with great pain every time, you deny him.

It’s torture, the purest form you could imagine.

“You called to me. In your dream. I heard it.” he asserts in a gentler tone, as if it would change anything. You dig your nails into the skin of your arms in an attempt to temper the rage bubbling up inside of you.

“I’m tired of fighting Kylo.” you sigh. “Can’t you see that? That’s why I’m here, in a hut in the fucking jungle.” you spit, an edge of hurt in your tone that you pray he doesn’t hear.

“Then why won’t you just come to me?” He tries desperately to persuade you. “I will take care of anything, everything you need. It could be so simple if you would just-” he starts on the same tirade that he starts every time you see each other.

The fresh pain of the memories, the aching of your heart at seeing him, listening to the same argument; it’s finally all too much. The dam you’ve built to withhold your emotions finally breaks, your hurt finally overflowing as you spin on your heel to face him, screaming out the truth as you cut him off.

“Because I love you, Ben! Because I love you, and you’ve destroyed everything else I’ve ever cared about! And I hate myself for it!” you bark at him through gritted teeth, hot tears welling up in your eyes and threatening to spill over.

His brow furrows in frustration and shock as he yells back at you.

“You know that isn’t the truth! I didn’t-”

Clutching the sides of your head in frustration, you continue screaming, cutting him off once more.

“Everyday I wake up and I’m forced back into the hell that is the realisation that this is my reality!” you gesture feverishly around the humble, run down hut in which you both stand, then between the two of you. “This is my reality, and I will never forgive you for it Ben.” your voice breaks, your anger spent and only leaving you with aching despair as the tears finally begin to fall.

“I loved you, I really loved you.” you choke out between cries, the growing lump in your throat making it hard to speak.

For once he’s silent, saying nothing as he looks upon you with widened eyes.

He’s visibly taken aback, and the realisation finally hits you that you just admitted your love to him, and that you hadn’t called him by his name, his true name, since the incident that ripped you away from each other.

He turns away from you, hiding the tears welling in his own eyes.

“I don’t need your forgiveness.” he whispers, and you take one last look at him before he promptly vanishes.

Left alone in the crippling emptiness of the hut you call home, you fall to your knees under the crippling weight of your sorrow, wracked with anguished sobs.

Elsewhere in the galaxy, Kylo Ren wipes the stray tears from his face and steels his nerves, before throwing on his cloak and helmet.

He could feel your presence even more acutely in the force now, the bond strengthened by your heated confession. It was certainly not one he had expected, but he had no doubt now that he would track you down.

All he would have to do is follow your signature.

Your words were all the confirmation he needed as he stormed out of his personal quarters to gather a fleet, barking the orders to gather his knights at a commanding officer.

If you refused to give yourself willingly to him, he would just have to take you.

The next morning, you awaken suddenly to the sound of Stormtroopers blowing the door clean off of your hut.

In an instant you leap to your feet, ready to defend yourself from any danger. Time moves in slow motion as you look out the door, the mass of troopers, fronted by the Knights of Ren parting like the fabled red sea.

Blood running cold, your heart drops to your feet as you lay eyes upon their leader who moves to the forefront, Kylo Ren.

You’re stricken with the awful, ice-cold revelation that he had used your bond in the force against you.

It lead him right to you.

Frantically turning to reach for a weapon, you’re cut short as a blaster hits you with a stun ray, rendering you unconscious.

Your body falling to the floor with a soft thud, Kylo Ren strides over to where your body lay crumpled, just within the doorway, sighing regretfully. Crouching over you, he frowns as he softly brushes a lock of hair out of your face.

“It could have been so much easier.” he whispers like an apology, before carefully scooping you into his arms.

He takes a moment to look at you, admiring the beauty of his prize before carrying you onto his ship.

#ben solo x reader #ben solo x you #ben solo x y/n #ben solo x f!reader #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x female reader #kylo ren x f!reader #star wars x reader #star wars imagines #star wars imagine #kylo ren x you

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coneyislandbabey · 1 year

Text

well, my boyfriend's in a band. -> e.roundtree

WARNINGS: maybe some profanities

SYNOPSIS: Nobody thinks the thing between you and Eddie can be as pure and real as you say it is. word count: 1,323

NOTES: written for this request!

A lot of people talked about you and Eddie, now that you were publicly together, but none of them knew what they were saying. They spun the story like it was as old as time, unchangeable, inevitable, as sure a disaster as whatever or whoever they were comparing you to in the moment. Him, a rockstar, high on the enormous tide of fame and cocaine, a man who could have anything in the world at the snap of his fingers. You, a couple of years younger, elusive writer from the Los Angeles scene, enigmatic partier– naïve, obviously getting taken for a ride.

It never occurred to any of them that a man like Eddie Roundtree could be truly, inescapably gone for you. Why devote yourself to one girl when you could have as many as you wanted at any time? People had been asking that question about Billy Dunne for the Six’s entire career, and they couldn’t believe another band member was making the same ‘mistake’. Fame should mean freedom. As if getting to give your all to someone and receive their all in return wasn’t a kind of freedom in of itself.

Let them talk. What difference did it make to you?

When you stepped onto the tour bus, the afterparty was already in full swing. You hadn’t been able to catch the show because your flight had gotten in too late, but it didn’t matter; you’d be joining Eddie on tour for the next few months, so you had plenty of shows in your future. All you cared about was getting to your man. You located him sitting on the far corner of the couch, squished in with Graham and Warren and Warren’s girl of the night. You had spotted him before he spotted you, and you took a moment to take in the face you hadn’t been able to see since the tour started. His warm brown eyes crinkled in laughter, the sweep of his burnt sugar hair over his forehead. He was so beautiful it made your breath catch every time you allowed yourself to drink him in like that.

“(y/n)!” Warren shouted, being the one to notice you first in the fray of the party, pointing to you with one long finger as if the shout wasn’t enough. Eddie’s head whipped around, and his mouth stretched into the widest grin at the sight of you. You returned the smile with your own, squeezing through the small, packed crowd until you landed right in his lap.

Eddie’s arms instantly went around your waist, hands settling warm and solid on your lower back. Yours went loosely around his shoulders, your head dipping down to a well-received kiss. His eyes were bloodshot and he was half gone to whatever booze and drugs he’d done already, but even through the haze of inebriation they were settled on you.

“You’re here, I can breathe again,” he said, voice lazy. He was leaned all the way back, head resting on the window behind him, like it was the first time his body had been able to relax in weeks. You lifted your palm to his cheek, rubbing your thumb gently along his lower lip, curved up in that little smirk of his.

You bent your face close to him so that only he could hear you. “Missed you, too, baby boy.”

Eddie leaned over the side of the couch, and when he came back up he was holding his lighter– red, engraved with his name in gold, a gift from you shortly after you had started dating– and a joint. He lifted the joint and you took it in your lips, he grabbed your chin and held your face gently with his guitar-calloused fingers as he lit it for you. You took a long drag, exhaling only after the joint was between Eddie’s lips.

Eddie’s hands went back to your waist, skimming up beneath your shirt and skating across your spine. The whole time he’d been away and you’d been stuck in Los Angeles without him, you’d felt unmoored, but you hadn’t realized the extent of it until you were finally back in his arms, back with your anchor. This was where you were meant to be, and Eddie felt that just as much as you did.

The next night, you stood in the wings with Rod watching the band play. They were all mesmerizing in their own ways, especially, of course, Daisy and Billy singing together, but your eyes never left Eddie. He always exuded confidence, but never more so than when he was onstage, and it was intoxicating to see. He wore that cocky smirk on his face, the one that either made you want to smack him or kiss him and nothing in between, his body moving as one with the bass. He’d never wanted to play the instrument, you knew, but god did he play it like it had been made specifically for him.

Any chance he got, his eyes were on you, even onstage, even in the middle of a song. As the song came to an end, he caught your eye for the hundredth time that night, bringing his hand to his mouth and blowing a kiss into the wings for you. You laughed, pretending to catch it and press it to your heart, making him grin before he had to turn away and start playing the next song.

“That guy’s got it fuckin’ bad for you, huh,” Rod observed, and you snorted.

“Mm, he better,” you nodded.

Eddie made a beeline for you as soon as the show was over, shedding his bass on the way and scooping you up in his arms. You squeezed him tightly, laughing as he picked you up off the floor and spun you around. When he set you back down on the ground, you grabbed his face and kissed him, skin warm from the lights and exertion everywhere you touched, hair sweaty where your fingers tangled with it at the nape of his neck.

“You were enthralling,” you told him once you had pulled away.

“That was my best show so far,” he said, “Had to pull out all the stops because I knew my girl was watching.”

“Well, you really blew me away,” you laughed. “But you blow me away every time, you always will.”

You two skipped the afterparty that night, instead heading straight to Eddie’s hotel room. You needed just each other, alone, away from the hecticness of tour. You wanted Eddie all to yourself, you always did, and Eddie would give you as much of himself as he could at every chance, just as you did for him. That’s why you found him so easy to love; he knew what you needed from him, and was nearly tripping over himself to give it to you.

The next morning, you were in a diner with Eddie catching a quick breakfast before the buses had to leave. Your eyes scanned the newspaper rack in boredom as you waited for your food, and your mouth drew up into a smirk as you spotted something familiar.

You grabbed the tabloid and turned, showing it to Eddie. On the front was a photo of him on stage from the night before, eyes turned towards the wings, hand extended mid-gesture as he blew you a kiss. A smaller photo was superimposed in the corner, catching the two of you walking out of the venue later that night, your arm looped through the crook of his elbow as you walked back to the hotel. The headline was something invasive and completely false about your relationship, but you ignored it.

“They love to talk about us,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“These pictures are pretty good, actually,” Eddie said, grabbing the tabloid to get a better look. “I should get in touch with them and ask if I can have some copies of ‘em.”

tag list: @eonnyx

#daisy jones and the six #djats #eddie roundtree #eddie roundtree x reader #eddie loving #eddie loving x reader #warren rojas #warren rhodes #graham dunne #karen sirko #karen karen #daisy jones #camila dunne #julia dunne #billy dunne

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thefiery-phoenix · 1 month

Text

YANDERE SEUNG EUN HAN(JOHAN SEONG) HEADCANONS

I feel so bad for what he has to go through, he does NOT deserve whatever he has to go through

You'd meet Johan Seong when his dog Eden would run off from him as usual. He was hunting for Eden as usual when he spotted him with you, you were petting his head and stroking his ears as Johan smiled softly to himself, glad to see that Eden was okay and he struck up a conversation with you. The two of you would talk for a while and Johan would be lying if he said he didn't like your company. He actually liked spending time with you and wanted to spend more time with you, which was something he didn't feel since a long time. He wants to know more about you however his mind will be telling him to cool it for the time being. He's quite disappointed even when he doesn't show it that you have to leave, he wishes he could spend more time with you and get to know you better

He wouldn't exactly fall in love at first sight, he doesn't believe in the whole love at first sight thing and has a rather logical outlook on the world. With his mom's blindness and his decreasing sight, he knows the only way to survive in the world is if he gets stronger and has power. Falling in love was the last thing he'd ever wanted, so why was his heart racing wildly against his chest and his face felt warm and flushed whenever he kept seeing you? Perhaps he was getting sick...that could be the reason, he isn't supposed to fall in love. He'll keep denying his feelings for you at first but when he sees you with someone else he'll get really cranky and annoyed. Why the HELL are you hanging with some other random dude when you have him by your side? Is this a way of telling him that he's not good enough for you or something? You should have known you're supposed to be by HIS side since the day you've met Eden and him

He has abandonment issues and trust issues, a LOT. He'll do extensive research on your likes and dislikes and your personality and he'll have your habits memorized too. He literally BLENDS in with the shadows of the night which makes it easier for him to stalk you and tail you whenever you're going back to your house. He'll end up breaking into your house as well at some point maybe when you're away or something. He'll take in every single detail of your room and ensure Eden doesn't mess up your room. His eyes will land on the pictures of you with your friends and his expression will darken slightly. He doesn't care if they're people from your past but he does hope you're in contact with them any longer, else he'll have to make a few house calls

He'll take a few 'souvenirs' for himself as well, not major things which you would realize would be missing, small things like your pens, pencils, your favorite lip gloss so he can imagine what it would be like to kiss those beautiful soft lips of yours...He has insecurities as well, he's worried you'll leave him like everyone else one day and that can't happen. The thought of losing you scares him, he can't lose you. He gets annoyed when someone else tries to steal you away from him, it just pisses him off to the core. Once you've left, he'll deal with that pest immediately by breaking their bones or just straight up murdering them. He shows NO mercy to those lousy scumbags who want to take you from him. The other day while you were speaking to one of the guys from your school, you didn't realize he was being too flirty with you and touchy with you, you failed to observe the slightly perverted look in his eyes but someone noticed it all right. A certain brown haired guy who always followed you around noticed it from the shadows, dressed in his usual black hoodie, white shirt and red sweatpants as his fists clenched till his nails dug into his skin

After you left, Johan followed the guy back to his house and just as he was about to enter his house, he grabbed him by his hair and dragged him to the back of the alley nearby and slammed him against the wall as he warned him in a ominous tone to stay the hell away from you as he beat him unconscious to a bloody pulp. If he decides to ignore his words, he could always pay a night visit to get rid of him permanently. You have to hand it to him, he's determined when he wants to be. When he's determined to make you his in every way and manner possible, you better believe he's willing to do whatever the HELL it takes for that to happen. At frist he'll cleverly isolate you from your friends with slight emotional manipulation and guilt tripping from his side till you realize what's happening and it'll be too late for you to do anything

Due to his insecurities and fears and all the immense paranoia of losing you, he'll kidnap you quicker than expected

You'll wake up in his house and you'll be confused why Eden is with you, nuzzling his head against your hand. Johan would just calmly walk into the room and tell you what he did with a stoic look on his face while you'll be freaking out and panicking at what happened. He'll be slightly annoyed with you panicking, why are you getting scared? He's doing this for your own good, he's protecting you and saving you from every single thing that could potentially harm you. You should be glad, but he'll feel slightly bad when he sees you crying. He'll let out a soft sigh and grumble slightly as he'll wipe your tears with his thumb and caress your cheek softly and lovingly as he'll make some food for you. Don't think of abstaining yourself from eating or starving yourself, he'll just make you sit on his lap and feed you as he shoves mouthfuls of food into your mouth. You're eating one way or another and he'll make sure of that even if he has to FORCE you to eat and take care of yourself

He's closed off and stoic around other people but he's like a hurt innocent child when he's around you. He feels like he can trust you, you've managed to tear down those barriers and walls caging his heart so it's a big deal when he starts telling you his feelings. When you hold him for the first time and hug him, it takes him all his will power and self control not to just tear up in your arms. He'll sigh in content as he'll pull you closer to him and bury his face in the nape of your neck. Yeah, whatever plans you've had afterwards will have to wait because once you're in his arms he'll refuse to let you go, clinging onto you like a leech or moss on the bottom of a rock

Did I mention he was incredibly clingy too? He NEEDS to be around you, he'll hug you from behind whenever you're doing something. Even when you're sleeping he doesn't let you be, he'll be the big spoon as he pulls you closer to him to cuddle with you and he feels like he's protecting you from something. Just humor him unless you want to deal with him being sulky, grumpy and annoyed for the rest of the day. Literal embodiment of a puppy sometimes, with murderous pent up rage. Growing up, he didn't really have a lot of attention. He always had to shoulder responsibilities and he just needs someone to tell him they're proud of him and show him some affection. Even the slightest touch from you will send his mind into an overdrive and he'll start blushing and become flustered. He likes it when you pet his head and he likes giving you kisses on your head and your hand or nuzzling his cheek against yours. See, he does have his soft moments at times. He might not be able to afford really fancy and expensive stuff given with his mom's eye surgery but he's willing to buy and make small things for you to see you smile. Besides, it's the thought and the actions that counts more than the gifts in his opinion

Don't escape from him for both of your sakes. If he returns back to find you gone, his dread and paranoia will start to settle in as he realizes his worst fear of losing you is coming true. However he'll compose himself as he's determined to find you no matter what. He'll have Eden track you down by identifying your scent and you can be DAMN sure he'll lead Johan to you. Johan will give you an icy glare as he drags you back home. Scream, kick, cry he doesn't care, he will not put up with your little temper tantrums. He won't hurt you physically but he'll yell at you for leaving him with tears running down his face, angry and hurt that you've betrayed him and he'll start with the guilt tripping of how Zack, his mother, everyone left him and how people like Gun took advantage of him to tug at your heart strings

It will be quite a long time for him to trust you again. He'll calm down eventually but that doesn't mean you're off the hook either. He'll punish you by taking away your favorite items and FORCE you to cuddle with him every day till he's satisfied. You'll have to deal with him being suspicious and sulky for a while because of your little escape attempt. Every night he'll whisper in your ear about how you'll never be able to leave him. He doesn't feel guilty or bad even in the slightest that he's abducted you, he feels like it was necessary, you're HIS and only his. He's usually gentle and soft spoken towards you too. Under NO circumstances would he let you join God Dog, he doesn't want you fighting and getting hurt

He won't take it lightly when someone tries to take you from him. He'll deal with them quickly sending them to their literal death no matter who it is. He gets quite insecure of his eyes at times but his heart would melt when you comfort him about them which fuels his possessiveness towards you even more. Ultimately at the end of the day he just wants to come back to you, hug you and hold you in his arms and love you. Is that TOO much to ask?

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hannieehaee · 3 days

Text

SERENDIPITY

18+ / mdi

summary: jungkook, god of love and son of venus is given the task by his mother herself to rid the world of you, known as psyche, as your beauty begins to rival her own. unfortunately for all parties involved, jungkook becomes enamored by you upon accidentally pinching himself with his own arrow.

content: cupid!jungkook, psyche!reader, an extremely simplified and smutty version of the og story, afab reader, everyone here is a god/goddess of some sort, side character deaths, the dialogue is very much modern and not fitting of the times, angst(?), fluff, smut, they have sex where she doesnt know who he is multiple times but its consensual, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 8.6k

a/n: for immersion purposes, psyche will be a reader insert and wont be referred to as psyche throughout the story (but jk will be referred interchangeably as cupid). anyways i read this last week during one of the lit courses i decided to take to improve my writing and really enjoyed it!! i hope u guys enjoy it too<3

masterlist | kofi/patreon

support me through a one time tip<3

"Why did you call for me, again?"

"Jungkook, pay attention!", hissed his mother, holding her fingers to her temples in stress as one of her many servants walked in with the fruit she'd requested, "I need you to use your arrows on someone."

"What? Why? I thought you didn't like me meddling with people's love lives."

"This is different. This one needs a little help," Venus frowned in sheer annoyance, "She is known as Psyche by many, Y/N by her loved ones. She has become quite a figure among the Roman population. Some have begun to worship her beauty. They pray to her, they bring her offerings, they kiss at her feet, completely disregarding the true Goddess of Beauty."

"And where does this concern me?", Jungkook was beyond bored by his mother's ramblings. On a usual day, he would be out and entertaining himself with the many mortal maidens found around Rome, always guaranteeing himself a partner for the day.

Venus shot Cupid a look as her servants fed her by mouth, making him straighten his back and begin paying better attention. Even as the Goddess of Beauty, Venus was known as one of the most menacing Goddesses to exist, holding far too much power among all Gods and Goddesses. Jungkook couldn't help but feel intimidated by her, even as carefree as he was known to be.

"She has far too many admirers. Even Gods are beginning to show interest in her, yet she is lacking in suitors thus far. I need you to shoot your arrow and tie her off to the most hideous creature you can muster. She may seize from being a disturbance this way."

"Okay, so you want me to doom her to an eternity with a monster?", Jungkook tilted his head in curiosity.

Despite being considered the most beautiful entity, Jungkook knew Venus to be one of the least amicable creatures in all of the land. Mortals were blissfully unaware of her cruelty, thinking her to be the most perfect among all Goddesses. However, Cupid, as her son, knew of the misery that awaited anyone who crossed the Goddess of Beauty.

Venus halted her movements in frustration, scaring the servants nearby before turning to Jungkook in annoyance, "Cupid, my son, you will obey my order without question. I gave you those wings, I gave you that bow, and I gave you that arrow. I don't care how cruel you may think me to be, this is an order. You shall not utilize your powers for your own endeavors until you finish your task," she demanded, "Now, go rid me of that wench before I find someone else to do the job."

With a sigh, Jungkook nodded in defeat, fully aware of the type of punishments his mother could deliver should he disobey her orders. Walking over to the window through which he had originally entered, he pulled his bow and arrow from his back, beginning to fly off with his wings as he embarked on a journey to seek out the mighty Psyche that had his mother so worried.

"Y/N, there's another letter from one of your admirers," announced Psyche's mother, placing the letter on the huge pile of gifts provided by the many civilians who came visit their castle with the hope of getting a glimpse of the beautiful girl.

"Mother, what shall I do with all these? There's so many letters yet not a single suitor," you sighed, frustrated at the lack of prospects you'd had so far, "My sisters have both married, yet I am left alone with no one to seek my heart."

"Child, you should be grateful," said your mother, "You are admired through all the land, vied for as if you were a true Goddess. Someone will come for you one day, rest assured," affirmed your mother, petting your hair as she landed a soft kiss on your forehead and took her leave once more.

It was easy for your parents to grow used to the love and admiration you received. Endless people would come and dedicate themselves to their servitude if it meant as much as receiving your blessing – which was absolutely worthless as a mere princess in a land filled with mystical deities.

Your elder sisters had both been married off months back, finding old yet respectable husbands to take them away and care for them as any and all husbands should. You, however, remained alone with your parents, always hoping that a man would be brave enough to court you.

It was unfortunate, really; the way in which your beauty prevented you from receiving any suitors. You had not chosen to be blessed by Venus herself, nor did you ever hope to become her contender in the title of the most beautiful entity in all of creation. Unlike you, she had found a God to sweep her off her feet, gifting her with the fruit of love himself – her son Cupid. Oh, how you wished he'd shoot his arrow and allow you some rest from this endless search for a husband.

As weeks passed by, your parents became more and more worried with your state. You were unconsolable, finding misery in every letter your sisters would send in regard to their new lives with their new families. One of your sisters was already awaiting an heir. Despite your endless happiness for your loving sister, your misery at your own situation prevented you from feeling genuine excitement for a new heir in your family. You wanted your own. You needed your own.

Your constant distress caused your parents to seek out a esteemed Oracle in your city, hoping that she would be able to give some insight about your predicament. She would be able to answer the question as though who and when you would find a suitor.

Visiting her was easy enough, feeling intense excitement at the prospect of an insight into who your beloved would be. Your parents seemed indifferent, but simply hoped to ease your endless concerns.

The Oracle took the form of an old woman, one who was known to assert people's future entirely correctly. Thus far, she was yet to be erroneous in her readings. Such magic was impressive to you, leaving you worried for any bad outcome she could possibly see in your future. If she were to find something unfortunate, there would likely be no way to remedy it. However, your parents assured you that the preventive knowledge would allow you to act accordingly and fix your destiny should you need to.

"The great Psyche," smiled the old woman sitting across from you, "I have heard lots about you."

Bowing your head in respect, you introduced yourself despite her knowing you by the popular name of Psyche, "I have heard of you too. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Oracle. I hope to find a favorable end with you."

"I hope for the same."

Taking your hands, the Oracle felt them, closing her eyes in concentration as she went through every crease and contour of your hands, furrowing her eyebrows every so often. Her emotions translated onto you somehow, making your heartbeat speed up and your own eyebrows furrow in worry.

Suddenly her eyes opened, a clear distress showing through them.

"Your destiny is muddled," she began, "I cannot see too well, but your future is grand and ... it will lead to misfortune to those around you."

Your mother stepped in at such words, inquiring for more information, "What do you mean by this? What is it that you saw?"

"Your child may wed a powerful being. One among the strongest to ever be seen. She shall marry a being stronger than a God, one capable of immeasurable destruction should he choose to engage in such acts."

"A God?", asked your father.

"It is uncertain as per what I see," she responded, "All I can see is his aura radiating stronger than the sun. He shall take her and make her his own, not allowing anything to stand in his way," she reaffirmed.

"I-", you began, unable to finish your sentence as your parents quickly stood up and dragged you onto your feet.

"We shall take our leave," your mother said frantically, "We thank you for your service."

No more questions were asked as your parents dragged you by your hand, leading you out of the cursed place.

The Oracle's words had never been wrong, which meant that your future was sealed. You were to wed something that was not a man. Was he a God? There was just no way of knowing. It could've been a demon or monster seeking the most beautiful woman in the land. It could've been a God seeking a mortal to keep in his chambers as he wed a Goddess. Whatever it may have been, you were terrified.

"You shall leave," were your mother's first words upon arriving back to the castle.

"W-what?"

"We cannot keep you here. If a being is to come and rip you away, we cannot allow it to destroy our kingdom. Your fate is sealed, but ours remains," said your mother, your father nodding in agreement beside her.

"Where am I to go?" you whispered in disbelief.

"We will take you to the mountains. Maybe the monster shall not find you there."

"Monster? How can you be so certain?"

"Gods mustn't marry mortals, you foolish child. A God would never have to drag you away, as you would go willingly. It must be an evil creature attempting to attain your beauty."

"But-"

"No 'but's, child. It has been decided," your father gave the final verdict, thus sealing your fate even further.

To have hoped for protection from your parents had been foolish. These were the same royalty who had given away their two eldest daughters to the highest bidders, not caring for proper marriages as long as they meant protection for their kingdom. You were equally worthless to them. Should you pose any danger to their kingdom and you would simply be thrown aside, just as now.

The following days proved as a goodbye as your parents prepared your departure. They assured themselves they shall never see you again, so they made arrangements with that idea in mind. Without a care for your wellbeing, they assured themselves this was the best course of action. Your fate was sealed, after all. There was nothing they could do to protect you any longer.

It was only a few days after your visit to the Oracle that your parents made the long and extraneous walk to the lone mountains neighboring the kingdom. Climbing the highest and most lonesome peak, they bid their goodbyes to you, with your mother letting out a few worthless tears as she looked at you one last time.

Your first few days on the mountain had been miserable. You only had enough food to realistically survive a few days, but your parents had reassured you that your husband would come for you soon, likely aware that you were there for his taking. The constant fear of the most odious taking you away made you feel terror you had never experienced. Jumping into the peaks below you crossed your mind a few times, but you knew you'd survive the fall. Your fate did not predict a tragic death, which meant that any fall would not result in demise. Your metaphorical demise would only come in the form of your husband.

All you could do now was wait for him to come, hoping against all hope that he would not be as monstrous as you dared imagine.

Jungkook was beyond annoyed at his current task.

Despite being a God, he did not hold the same almighty powers many other Gods did. His skill was the intertwining of souls, shooting his arrow any time he knew two people were meant to be tied for life.

In all honesty, he did not care for such a task. The thought of tying Psyche's fate to that of a monstrous being did not bother him in the slightest. He felt quite indifferent about it, not knowing nor caring who Psyche was. He doubted Psyche's beauty could possibly be as menacing as his mother had described, but he still felt some sort of intrigue about her appearance.

Fortunately, his curiosity was soon satiated.

After days of looking for Psyche, he finally encountered her, watching from afar as he spotted a lone woman standing on the cliff of a mountain, completely bare as her clothes laid ripped on the small surface of the mountain. It appeared that she had been there for days, likely having ripped off her own clothes in frustration.

Had you been left here for his taking? Destiny worked in mysterious ways, after all.

As of now, Cupid had only been able to see your backside, as you were facing opposite of him. Even from afar, Jungkook could not deny the beauty of your body. Every curve and contour of it had been sculpted to perfection, making the God salivate at the sight. But Jungkook had come here with a task. He needed to take care of his mother's request. There was no time to thirst after the heavenly body before him.

Reaching behind him, Jungkook grabbed onto his bow and arrow, bringing both to the front as he began to aim at you, prepared to shoot when he got the angle just right. After shooting you, he would aim his arrow at the first creature he encountered, let it be a deer or an actual monster. It did not matter much at the moment.

But as Jungkook had said, destiny worked in mysterious ways.

Jungkook had been entirely unprepared for the moment you turned around, facing him yet not seeing him from his hiding spot in the distance.

Your beauty took his breath away instantly, making him falter in his movements as his focus shifted from his arrow and onto you. Your body was the image of perfection itself, shaped perfectly for his hands to drag themselves across every inch of skin. Your curves were begging to be marked by his lips, being just the perfect size for any God to lose himself in them. And your face? Gods, it was the prettiest sight in all of Rome.

Jungkook understood now why his mother had felt threatened by your mere existence. He understood why you had so many admirers, yet no suitors brave enough to make you theirs.

Without realizing, Jungkook's hand had slipped during his daydreaming, making him misplace his hand and causing his arrow to grace him across the chest, creating a gash right by his accelerated heart.

Oh.

Fuck.

You ...

Gods, you beautiful thing. You gorgeous, beautiful thing.

The effects of the arrow were quick in turning Jungkook into a mess of himself. His breathing accelerated, his eyes became hooded, his skin rose in goosebumps, his cock stood tall and proud. His entire body betrayed him as he rapidly fell in love with you.

His mission had failed, but he could not care for such things in this moment. Not when he felt such strong emotions of love towards you.

This was rare. His arrows caused people to fall in love, but never had they produced such a strong effect. Never had he seen a man become so immensely enamored so quickly after a shot of his arrow. Perhaps your beauty had bewitched him before his arrow struck? The details didn't really matter much to him. At least not as much as his sheer need to have you did.

But it could not be done so easily.

Gods were not meant to fall in love with humans. Should his mother ever find out and you would both meet your ruin. No, he needed to think this through. He needed to get to you, but not allow you to know of him. If you were ever to see him, you'd fall in love with him instantly.

He did not want to force such a situation onto you, so despite the sheer effort it took, Jungkook took his leave, opting to plan for an appropriate way to rescue you and make you his.

It took a few days for your misery to come to an end.

After endless hours of agony stranded and alone on the peak of that mountain as you awaited your inevitable demise, you finally came to find some peace.

It was a voice, an unknown one, calling to you. It had been during one of the many instances in which you had found yourself wailing at your misery, completely defeated at your situation.

Suddenly a voice called out to you, reassuring words in their tongue.

"Do not fear, Psyche, nor be sorrowful beyond measure... I have come to aid you, for it is impossible that Love should go unrewarded."

Despite the words, there was no heavenly body attached to them. They had simply come from the wind.

"Who are you?", you asked.

"I am Zephyrus, the West Wind. You may never see me, but I am here to rescue you."

"Rescue me? Where shall you take me?"

"I shall take you to my master's castle. He shall care for you there."

"Your master?", was this meant to be the monster who would wed you?

"Yes. His immeasurable love for you shall be proved as he cares for you."

"Is he ... Is he a monster?"

"On the contrary. He is a heavenly body; the most heavenly of them all," reassured the West Wind.

A heavenly body? Could it really be a God?

You needed no time to consider it. You decided to you must go and meet the man who would save you from your misery.

"Take me, Zephyrus. Please."

"With pleasure."

You were unsure how you had arrived here, but that was the last of your concerns upon seeing your surroundings.

Currently, you found yourself in the most beautiful of palaces. Everything was made of expensive marble and tailored just to your tastes. As you explored the gorgeous abode, Zephyrus explained your current situation to you.

"You shall be cared for here, by the most competent of servants," the West Wind began, "They will rid you of all the misery you suffered on that mountain. Every bit of suffering your family brought to you shall be undone within this palace.

"Oh, thank you, Zephyrus! You don't understand how grateful I am."

"You shall not thank me. This is all your beloved's doing."

"When shall I meet him?"

"You will meet him tonight, as you lay to sleep," he began, "However, you shall not see him."

That confused you.

"What do you mean?"

"He wishes not to be seen. He will come to you in your barest of forms to reveal his undying affections, but you shall respect his wishes of not being seen. He will show up in the dark as your back faces him. This is his one and only condition," revealed Zephyrus.

"Oh."

It was disheartening, to say the least. But you owed your eternal gratitude to your future husband, so if he requested not to be seen, you would obey such order.

"I understand. Anything for my savior."

The next few hours were spent in luxury you had yet to familiarize yourself with.

You were bathed and fed, healed from all trace of injury during your time stranded. You were treated as a Goddess, served by invisible, voiceless servants as the wind aided you in all your needs.

It proved quite lonely, but you were still content at the knowledge that your beloved would come to you tonight.

They dressed you up as beautiful as you could imagine. Your beauty shone through the care you were given, making you appear entirely irresistible to any man who should come your way.

Oh, you were beyond excited to see your future husband. Would he allow passion to take over him when he saw you?

You had not met him yet, but you were already in love. All things Zephyrus had told you about him only made you more excited.

He detailed his feelings for you, telling you the mountains he'd move just for a single glance at you. He told you of the creation of this palace, rushed to be made to your liking just so he could care for you away from all harm.

Oh, your husband just sounded so lovely. Yet you wanted to cause his ruin upon meeting him.

You laid in bed, your natural beauty shining through the care your invisible servants had given you. Your sleeping gown allowed any to see the perfect contour of your curves as you laid in bed awaiting your beloved's arrival, back facing the window as Zephyrus had instructed.

You were not to face towards the window, allowing the dark atmosphere of the room to hide your beloved's identity. However, according to Zephyrus, your beloved would be able to see you through his magic, allowing him to get his fill of your beauty.

It only took a few hours for a voice to emerge through the window.

"Oh, my beloved," sighed the voice, approaching.

"Husband?", you asked, still lying on your side, facing away from him.

"Yes, it's me. I have not wed you yet, but you are correct. You are my wife from now on, beautiful," his steps got closer, stopping at the edge of the bed opposite your own.

"Oh, husband, how long I've waited for you!", you wailed.

He took a shaky breath, climbing the bed as his hands laid softly on your hip. Your hip had been sticking out due to your sideways position, ready for him to grab at it however he desired.

"My beautiful Psyche ... You cannot understand how badly I want you ..." he breathed, hands hesitant as they caressed the curves presented to him, "I've had to hold back from ravaging you for days. Your touch is the only cure to this madness I feel."

Never in your life had you felt such an immediate fire within you. Oh, how badly you wanted to see him and express the same sentiment.

"You shall touch me however you wish, my dear husband. Please touch me ... I am yours," you pleaded.

"Yes? You are mine? Even if you shall never see me, you wish to be mine?"

You winced at such words, sad at the implications behind never facing your husband. But his voice and touch were enough to render you powerless against him, wanting him more than you thought possible.

You whimpered when his hands went to lift up your gown, revealing your nude bottom as he continued to caress at you.

"Yes! I am yours in every way. Please ... please take me. I need your touch more than anything," you pleaded.

With a groan, he positioned you so he could kneel behind you, placing you on all fours for him. It truly did not matter if you faced him or not, as the room was far too dark for you to ever make out his mere silhouette.

His hands were greedy as he felt you up, throwing off the useless gown so he could have his fill of your body. With endless groans and puffs of breath, he touched every inch, kissing his favorite parts as he explored your body.

"You beautiful thing ... No one shall ever have this body ever again. It is mine forever. Do you understand?"

You sighed in pleasure due to his mere touch, "Yes, husband. My body is for you only."

"I am going to officially wed you as I find my rightful place inside you. This will serve as our wedding night. Okay, gorgeous?"

You nodded wordlessly, pushing up against him to encourage his touch further.

It seemed as if he was already nude, as you felt his hardness behind you when he pushed up against you in retaliation.

Oh, it was so big and warm. He would surely be your ruin.

With a groan, he entered you, making your back arch deliciously at such stretch.

"Oh ... My angel ... My beautiful Psyche. You are everything a man could want, fuck. Feel so perfect around me," the God groaned upon entering you, hands digging into your hips as he began canting his hips against yours.

He caressed you like a man in love, whimpering any time you'd get just a little too tight for him. For the first time in your life, you felt like a true Goddess, experiencing worship from a God himself.

"It's so warm and perfect ...", he sighed, "Made for me, yeah? Just for me ... My Psyche, my ruin, my perfect ruin," he murmured as he pressed kisses against your back, a new confession of love behind each one.

Meanwhile, you were rendered wordless. Nothing made sense when you felt such otherworldly pleasure. Were mere mortals meant to experience such bliss? How could you ever outlive such an experience when your beloved was giving you everything and more than you ever hoped from a husband?

Your whines filled up the room, making your husband speed up out of sheer desire for more. He encouraged your sounds, dipping a hand between your legs to play with you with his skilled fingers, drawing cry after cry out of you as his hips refused to slow down.

"You are so beautiful, fuck ..." he groaned, "Men should worship the ground you walk on. I will worship you ... Every day for the rest of our lives I will worship this beautiful body."

Nothing but love flowed between you. Your new husband's obsession with you was more than clear. The God worshiped your body with low cries of your name, hips becoming less and less coordinated by the minute. His godly stamina was no match for the feelings flowing through his body, rendering him weaker than a human man at the sight of his beloved losing herself under his touch.

Your high triggered his own, making him slump against your back as his hips attempted to hump against you throughout the entirety of his orgasm. He whimpered pathetically at the tightening of your walls, crying expletives far too explicit for a God to recite.

You did not fare any better. From the moment your husband laid his hands on you, you became a shell of your former self, your body now a vessel dedicated to pleasure. You had yet to even ask his name, too immersed in the love between you to even remember.

"My beautiful girl," he whispered as he recovered his breath, kissing along the length your back, "I will protect you for the rest of eternity," his lips went down your back, reaching your ass, "going to take care of you in any and every way," his lips eventually reached your cunt, still swollen and leaking out his own essence. He remained quiet for a few moments, likely hypnotized by the sight.

"Oh ...," he groaned upon a tentative lick against your sensitive cunt, "Need you again ... Need this cunt again," he cried, losing himself between your folds.

Losing his train of thought entirely, he held you up on your hands and knees, feasting on your cunt shamelessly. He kissed and licked at you, groaning any time your ass would push back against him, silently begging for more.

"F-feels so good ... Need y-you. Please ...", you whimpered, begging for nothing in particular. Such pleasure had you lacking any critical thought. You were likely the most mindless creature in all of the land as your husband took away all your ability to reason.

"Gonna get you there, gorgeous. Gonna make you cum and make you mine over and over again," he growled against your cunt.

With just a few more moments, you came undone once more, this time falling against the bed in sheer exhaustion. You wished to turn around and seek solace in your husband, but you knew better and opted to allow him to initiate the next contact.

Once more, he spent a few moments worshiping your limp body, kissing and sucking at every corner he enjoyed. Every so often he would mutter low praises to your person, claiming worship towards you. Unfortunately, this ended far too soon, quickly leaving you cold and alone on the bed as be suddenly got up.

"I apologize if that was too much," he chuckled, now from a small distance. You wanted to turn to confirm, but you did not dare disobey his prior order, "I, uh, I must take my leave now, my love."

That was when you truly wished to break his rule and turn to him, pleading at him to stay with you through the night. One night and you were already infatuated with him.

"You're leaving?"

The disappointment must've been clear in your voice, as he instructed you to close your eyes before he turned you around to face him, caressing your cheeks in a loving manner before landing a soft peck on your lips.

"I cannot stay the night with you, beautiful. If you wake up and find out my identity ... I don't know how I shall protect you from that."

"But-"

"It's okay, angel. I will be back night after night, giving you all the love a God can muster. Now I bid you goodnight, my love. I love you," he kissed the back of your palm, quickly disappearing from your vicinity before you could say goodbye.

When you opened your eyes he was gone, window still open and marking his sudden exit. As deflated as you felt at his departure, you also felt immense excitement for the next morning in which you'd see him, promising yourself to be prepared for him every single night to deliver your love to him.

After weeks of becoming your husband's wife, you continued to live a life of pure bliss every night as he made love to you. It was still incomprehensible to you how he would deliver his sentiments in such a carnal way, but you were yet to have any complaints. The two of you would create the embodiment of love together every night, and you looked forward to it day after day.

But it was only the nighttime that brought you such happiness. You'd spend your days waiting for your husband to arrive, hoping for the moment in which he'd be with you and love you. He'd make conversation with you every night after making love to you, making you feel less lonely in those moments. However, you'd remain completely alone the rest of your days.

It wasn't after many pleas that your husband finally agreed to allow you some company in your new palace. Being accessible only through the flowing of Zephyrus' wind, you were completely alone at all times. It had taken vast begging from your part, but your husband eventually agreed to command Zephyrus to fly your sisters out to you, somehow managing to get into contact with them.

The last time you had seen them had been before finding out about your wretched fate through that Oracle. They remained unaware that you had been left stranded at the mountain, likely entering a panic when the news were delivered to them.

Before allowing your sisters access to his palace, your husband had warned you to stray away from their persuasion. Confused, you asked him to elaborate. He then informed you of the way in which they'd likely envy your newfound fortune and somehow wish to cause a rift between you and your husband. As one last warning, he told you to not listen to them should they tell you to unmask his identity. He loved you far too much to be ripped away from you in such a way, he had said.

You did not believe your sisters capable of attempting to sabotage the immense love you had found in the arms of your husband, but you had unfortunately been wrong.

Upon their arrival, they had showed little concern for your sudden disappearance, simply making quips about how much less their husbands provided for them, claiming they deserved more than yourself. They, of course, did not say such things to your face but rather to each other. But the winds of Zephyrus informed you of it all upon their departure. Even during their stay, they demanded you unmask your husband, claiming he must be a hideous creature if he was so insistent in hiding himself from his beloved wife.

You, unfortunately, fell for their trap. The seed of doubt had been instilled within you, making your curiosity for your husband grow more rapidly than ever. As soon as they left, you began pondering on ways to see your husband in a way that would not reveal your betrayal.

The outcome did not matter in the end. Regardless of your husband's appearance, you would fall for him time and time again just from his mere presence. Should he be the most wretched of monsters and you would still love him. His love and tenderness for you had rendered you a woman in love, and nothing would take that away.

But you needed to know. You needed to see him. You had gone far too long without seeing your soul's other half.

It occurred just a few nights later. The fated night in which you would finally see your husband.

By an act of the Gods above, your husband had fallen asleep right after a night of rigorous love making, holding you in his arms with the most love a man could hold for his woman.

In the sheer darkness, you managed to make your way out of your husband's hold, sneaking your way to the other side of the room with difficulty due to the complete lack of illumination in the room. After some struggle in the dark, you found a lamp, which you managed to light up with some oil.

Due to the small size of the lamp, you had to come close to your husband in order to properly see him. With hesitation, you walked over to him, holding the lamp right above his sleeping form to get the perfect view of him.

He was ...

He was the embodiment of love itself.

Before you laid Cupid, the most beautiful of all Gods.

Jungkook, as some knew him, slept under the light of your lamp, beautiful wings nowhere to be seen as he retracted them in his sleep.

You became instantly hypnotized by the sight of your beautiful husband. Your heart sped up and your eyes became heavy. His nude form was nothing short of art, and his gorgeous features were some that could never be replicated by neither man nor God.

If you hadn't already been insanely head over heels over your husband, you would've fallen for Jungkook upon a single sight. It had been the most beautiful God who had been making love to you night after night, praying to you as if you had been the deity.

Unconsciously, you grew too distracted by the sight of your beloved, not realizing you had tilted your lamp enough for some of the scorching oil to slip and trickle onto Jungkook's chest, immediately rendering him awake.

With shock in his eyes, he got up in a frantic hurry, clearly not having realized he had fallen asleep next time you. His hands went straight to soothing the burnt skin right by his chest. It didn't take long for betrayal to appear in his eyes, realizing that you had deliberately sought out a way in which to see him while he was fully unaware of your intentions.

"Psyche ...", he muttered, eyebrows furrowed as he avoided your eyes in disdain. You caught sight of tears growing in his eyes, causing pain to gnaw at your chest.

"Jungkook, I-"

He chuckled bitterly at the situation, "I warned you against this time and time again, but you became poisoned by the words of mere mortals who do not hold the love for you I so highly esteem," he took a breath, "I foolishly wounded myself with my own arrow and took the role of your lover. I feared that you'd want to cut off the head that carries these eyes that love you, so I remained a mystery to you. Yet your own love for me did not respect me enough to halt this betrayal. I- I shall take my leave. Goodbye, Y/N," he said before retracting his wings and making his way out through the window once more, hands rubbing at the growing wound on his chest due to the oil that had burnt him.

You stood there wordless, tears in your eyes as you watched your husband fly away.

Your cursed endlessly throughout the rest of your sleepless night, hoping that maybe he would come back tomorrow so you could make amends.

Tomorrow never came, and neither did the next day. From your perspective, time stood still as Jungkook continued not to show up day after day for a week. On the seventh day, your heart grew too sore to continue waiting for him without taking action.

Although you blamed your own greed for him for your betrayal to him, you also blamed the instigators – your sisters.

But they were your sisters no more. They were simply obstacles to overcome in the journey to gain Jungkook's trust back. And nothing would stop you.

A new sense of vengeance took over you astonishingly fast. Without a second thought, you managed to contact each of your sisters individually, making claims of your husband, Cupid himself, becoming unforgiving of your betrayal and demanding your departure, announcing that he would wed your sister instead. Each of your greedy sisters fell for the lie and one by one fell to their death as they attempted to make their way to Cupid's castle.

As for you, you managed to convince the West Wind to fly you off the mountains so you could begin your journey to your beloved. Hurt and disheartened, you spent weeks in search of him, not mindful at all of how battered you became with the passing of time. Any pain would be worth Jungkook's forgiveness.

However, your state of mind and exhaustion led you to multiple attempts at ending your own life, attempting to drown yourself or jump off cliffs, always surviving almost unscathed by some cruel act of the Gods. Without Jungkook's forgiveness life was simply not worth living.

In the meantime, Jungkook found himself in his mother's chambers, healing from the wound you had caused as his mother let out her fury at the discovery of her son's new lover.

"So you decided to wed your mother's nemesis? You decided that you shall bring this wench upon me and tie her to me for eternity?", she seethed as Jungkook disregarded her, too exhausted to respond.

"I shall find that hideous wench and rid the world of her myself," she decided, calling over a few servants to direct them to deliver you to them, "And you," she turned to Cupid once more, "You useless child. I shall birth another one just to spite you for your disrespect."

Those were her last words as she exit the chambers, leaving Jungkook to his rest once more. He wanted to worry for you, but his wound of the heart needed more healing before he could allow himself to go find you for himself. Within him, he thought of you fondly, hoping you'd survive his mother's wrath.

It did not take long for Venus to find you and bring you to your knees before her, expressing every foul thought she had of you with no shame.

"You believe to be worthy of Cupid, the prettiest God to lay foot on this world? Fine. Should you complete my tasks and I shall stay out of your way. Should you fail, I will do with you as I please."

Having spent weeks alone in the wilderness, injured in every way imaginable, you could not see a better outcome to such a situation. You agreed without thinking twice, knowing that no fate was worse than your current one.

You were assigned impossible tasks, one by one, as Venus sat back and awaited for your inevitable demise.

Much to her surprise, the divine forces had helped you in the completion of each one.

The first task had been to sort an immense amount of grains before morning. The grains amounted to an innumerable quantity, which proved the task to be impossible. Upon your defeat, you fell asleep halfway through the task, somehow waking up to find ants assisting you in its completion. By the time Venus arrived, she had a frown on her face at the sight of the achievement.

Her anger did not last, as she assigned you the next impossible task with ease.

Upon being ordered to gather golden fleece from magic sheep, you knew that this time you'd truly meet your demise. The sheep were extremely aggressive and known to kill a man in mere seconds. However, by another act of the Gods above, the reeds by the riverbank suddenly advised you to await til morning in order to freely gather the fleece that the sheep had shed.

The completion of this task also brought anger to Venus' demeanor, causing her to provide you with yet another impossible task. The completion of the final task finally led to the hardest of them all; one that would finally render you no longer.

Your final task had been to travel to the underworld and bring Venus a box of beauty. There were far too many intricate steps to be followed, but your love for Jungkook was enough to lead your journey.

Finally, upon your arrival, you held the box of beauty in your hands, ready to deliver it to Venus and finally receive her blessing in wedding her son. But once more, your curiosity grew too big.

Before arriving to the mighty Goddess, your hands took a mind of their own, forcing you to take a peak at the box. If you were to officially wed your beloved Cupid, a little extra beauty would surely be helpful.

Your naïveté finally led you to your final moments, causing you to enter eternal sleep upon a small peek of the box's contents. Still slightly conscious, you laid in your lonesome, unable to move nor think.

In your final moments, all you could think of was your beautiful Cupid and how badly you had hoped to live for him. To live to love him once more.

It took Jungkook a few days after his mother's final warning to him to fully recover from his injury.

Being aware of his mother's anger towards you, his immediate thought upon gaining his energy back was to seek you out and rescue you from whatever threat his mother must've been holding over you. He was unsure if she had managed to find you, but he could not take the risk of waiting to find out, knowing your life was likely in danger.

It took interrogating a few servants in order to track you down, now making it his mission to save you from his mother's disdain.

When he had been informed of the endless grueling tasks you had taken on just for a chance to see him again, Jungkook's heart melted. His love for you had never gone away, but his hurt had blinded him as his wound debilitated him. Now fully recovered, he was able to realize that his endless adoration for you was mutual. Your stubborn desire to see him had not been born out of malice, but out of love for him. He understood now. Had he been denied of your beauty for a single day, he would've lost all sense of sanity.

You were currently on your final task, Jungkook had been informed. Worried about your safety, he set out to take the same journey, traveling to retrieve the box himself in case you had somehow not made it on your own. He grew impressed when he reached the end of the journey and found that you had already retrieved it and were currently on your way back.

Jungkook continued to travel in search of you, growing more worried by the second as he did not find you. The moment he finally encountered you, his wings gave out in him, causing him to fall due to the sudden worry the sight caused him.

You were lying on the ground, vulnerable and alone as you held the box against your chest. You must've opened it, he assumed, knowing your curiosity could easily get the best of you.

Running to you, he held you to his arms, throwing the box aside as he caressed your limp body in his arms.

"Oh, Psyche ... My beautiful, curious girl," he tsk'd, "Your curiosity became your undoing once more," he scolded lightheartedly, tears in his eyes at being able to hold you again.

Leaning down, he pressed a lone kiss to your lips, whispering against them as he did so, "Come back to me, my love. Let me make you mine again."

Within seconds your body regained its consciousness, leaving you disoriented for a few moments. Upon realizing Jungkook was holding you, a look of awe in his eyes, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him as close as humanly possible to you as you cried into his chest.

"Oh, my beautiful girl," he wrapped himself around you, retracting his wings so they'd shield you both from the outside world, "Don't cry for me, my love. I'm here. I adore you more than I can possibly describe."

You wailed apologies into his chest, weaved with many confessions of your love for him. He took them all in with a smile on his face, refusing to let go of you as he memorized the shape of your body against his own.

"Love you so much, my sweet ruin. No one can ever harm you again," he assured, leaving endless kissed against your hair. He finally pulled away, wiping your tears with his thumbs as he looked into your eyes, "Let me take you home, my love."

"My beautiful girl ... How I missed you, fuck," groaned the pretty angel as he laid kisses down your neck.

He pushed you up against the wall the moment he flew you back to his recluse palace, rendering you speechless with just a few kisses. Jungkook wasted no time in showing you his love through words and touches, finally able to face you while he loved on you.

Sighing as he kissed down your neck, you molded yourself to his liking, willing to let him do whatever he wanted to you. You were far too enamored by the God, feeling nothing but inhuman addiction to his touch.

"I adore you more than you could ever understand," he breathed out as his hand ripped apart your worn out gown, wanting to finally see you bare face to face. With a shuddering breath, he got his fill of your body, caressing at every inch his eyes went over, feeling the carnal need to memorize every curve.

Turning you around, he pressed you up to his front, grinding against you as he felt you up, groaning breathily into your ear.

"I have wanted your body since I first laid eyes on you," he whispered, hips slow and sensual in their grinding, "I can finally have you however I want. Oh, my angel, I'm going to render you useless by the time I'm done with you."

Your Cupid then grabbed you and led you to the bed, where you positioned yourself on your hands as knees as you usually did. Shaking his head, Jungkook stops you before you settle on the bed, instructing you to turn around and lay face up for him.

"No, beautiful. Turn to me. Want to see you. Want to make love to you while you look at me with those pretty eyes," Jungkook moaned against your lips.

There was not much warning before Jungkook slipped inside you. But it did not matter. Your body welcomed him with no struggle, having become far too thirsty for his touch in the weeks of your separation.

Out of all the times you'd made love, this was by far the most intimate. Jungkook love and caressed you with an inhuman infatuation in his eye, groaning any time you'd so much as look into his eyes as he pounded into you.

"Oh, my Psyche ... Love you so much ... Always loved you. Always needed y-you, oh fuck ..." his eyes closed in pleasure, pressing his face into your neck to breathe you in. His hips were incorrigible, with Jungkook being far too drunk with lust to have any finesse in his movements.

"My Jungkook ... My Cupid ... You pretty angel, I missed you so much, so- oh, so much!", you cried, your eyes becoming clouded with tears all while your nails dug into his back. You could feel the scars from which his wings would retract, caressing them softly.

"Oh ... Oh, angel, d-don't do that- My wings are too sensitive, my Psyche, d-don't ..."

This only encouraged you to do it more, caressing his erogenous zone softly and sensually, causing him to cry against your ear, whimpering in an ungodly way that had your eyes rolling back at just the sound.

Your pretty angel babbled against you, letting out nonsensical rambles about how much he loved you and how he could never let you go again. How he would breed you and give you an heir and bring you both to the land of the Gods with him.

Practically sobbing against each other, still grinding like mindless animals, the two of you found your highs together, continuing to stimulate each other throughout the entirety of your orgasms. Your mutual whimpers filled up the room, making the experience all the more erotic.

Finally, you two laid against each other, breathing heavily as you refused to let go of one another.

You were still beat and battered from your weeks in search of your Cupid, but that was the last thing on your mind. All you cared about was holding onto Jungkook and never letting go.

Holding you even closer against him, Jungkook wrapped himself around you, pulling out with a groan as he spooned you in his arms, breathing in your hair and humming against you. He reassured you about any worry you may have had in regards to your future together, assuring you that your injury to him had fully head and that he could never hold any type of negative feeling towards you for long.

You no longer would have to worry about his mother's schemes, Jungkook assured, as he would go to Zeus himself to grant you immunity amongst all Gods. He'd convert you into a Goddess yourself, he promised, so that he could give you a heavenly heir and grow old with you until eternity. Nothing in this world could ever separate Cupid from his beloved Psyche. Jungkook would never let anything keep him away from his one and only beloved.

"I adore you, my Psyche, my beautiful ruin. I will always protect you," he sighed one last time, eyes growing heavy as you turned around in his arms and cuddled against his warm chest.

"I love you my Cupid," you kissed at the small burn mark the oil of your lamp had left, humming against his chest.

You fell asleep calmly in each other's arms, knowing you'd wake up to an eternity of love between one another.

a/n: im sorry if the pacing seems all over the place but i promise this is how the original story goes 😭

to read short 3.3k word continuation (+ all other previously written bonus content) you can go join my jk monthly tier on kofi or patreon!

content: afab reader, continuation and conclusion of the cupid and psyche lore/story (this is kinda like a pt. 2 honestly oops), impregnation, mentions of oral, jungkook is obsessed with reader its insane, pregnancy sex implied (but not really bc its after one day of the insemination lol), jungkook is a god so yk endless sex, smut, penetrative sex (like three times lol), etc.

wc: 639 (teaser); 3313 (full drabble)

sneak peak:

"Hmm, my beautiful Psyche," hummed Jungkook against you, stretching his body before cuddling further into you, absolute bliss in his voice.

After a night of extraneous love-making, Jungkook finally awoke in your arms, a smile instantly making its way onto his face at the remembrance of the previous night.

After having brought you back to the palace he built for you, he made love to you, finally able to look into your eyes as you both lost yourselves to the pleasure found in each other's touch. The thought of your gorgeous whines for him still made him shudder, having to will his boner away at the memory.

Then he thought about everything else that had happened since your separation.

He recalled all the trials you had gone through this past week, all to gain access to his heart, a heart that had belonged to you from the moment he laid eyes on you. It was hard not to feel immense guilt at knowing how badly you had struggled from the moment he left you alone in that palace, too hurt and stubborn to realize that your love for him would have you risking your life just for one more chance. In hindsight, he should've understood, specially considering that his own heart burned for you harshly enough for him to want to give up his Godly powers for you if he so had to.

Then he remembered the worst part of it all.

His mother was still seething with vengeance for you, not having found satisfaction in your death while completing her useless tasks. Jungkook knew that she never meant to even consider giving her blessing for the two of you to be together. It had all been a ruse to make you find your demise under the false pretense that you would somehow earn Jungkook's forgiveness by the end of it all.

What you didn't know was that Jungkook didn't need to forgive you. His love for you overpowered every other fleeting thought in his brain. One look from your remorseful eyes and he would be on his knees, begging you for forgiveness.

He pondered as he watched you sleep in his arms, blissful yet still wounded by your weeks of pain.

How shall he make up for all the suffering you endured while he recovered from his wound? How could he make amends for making you think for even one second that he'd dare try and live without you by his side?

His experience as a carnal lover had not prepared him for such feelings. There had been no training or preparation for him to understand the way you made his heart rush, the way you altered every aspect of his being.

All he could think about was how you were his beautiful Psyche and how ... how badly he wanted to put an heir in you.

The thought had seemed been sudden, but he had actually thought of it from the moment he found you waiting for him in bed that first night. You, full for him, manifesting the greatest form of love as you grew his seed inside you.

An heir would be the solution to all problems.

An heir would bring you an instant pass to the land of the Gods, forcing Zeus to turn you into a Goddess in order for you to birth a Godly child. It would also make his mother accept the gift he'd bring upon her, unable to deny a child created by the God of love himself. Lastly, this heir would also be his own gift to you – a showcase of his endless love for you and the future he was to create with you.

But most of all, it would quench the thirst Jungkook was currently feeling at the mere thought of marking you as his as humanly possible.

...

find the 18+ continuation on kofi or patreon!

if you have trouble finding it on there, just let me know!!<3

#bts fanfic #bts smut #bts x reader #bts scenarios #bts imagines #jungkook scenario #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenarios #jungkook x reader

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ohraicodoll · 1 year

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Monsters

Joel Miller x f!Reader The Last of Us (show/game) 4.8K Words (3rd POV) Summary: Two broken people clash. “Even when he hated her presence, it stirred something deep in his belly to see her spitting and angry at the world. Like a confirmation that only the cruel survived. That if something sweet like her had turned into a monster then he shouldn’t have expected better for himself. Permission. He was justified in his edges and bitterness.” Warning: Depictions of graphic violence Part I | Part II

Ellie had told him that the woman had been trying to be a singer before the world went to hell. He hadn’t asked, because he never asked, but had learned it the way most information came from the young girl. Rushed and mostly to fill the silence between them when she wasn’t being entertained. He didn’t care about before because that world was over so why did it matter- who they were before- but he could see it in his mind sometimes.

She would have been young, a lot younger than him by a decade at least, and soft skinned with bright eyes and an eagerness to share something beautiful. An artist type with her voice as the brush. He knew that type well. When he was younger, he’d wanted to be a musician too. Had learned to play the guitar, played a few gigs to keep himself occupied while Tommy went off to the army trying to be a hero. Met a girl that way though it all came screeching to a halt when she got knocked up and then quickly dipped when Sarah was young. There was no time for guitar and dreams while raising an infant as a single father. He had just been an average joe then. Not too smart, not too many goals, but good with his hands and at building things. The only job he was qualified for. He hadn’t had time for beauty or art when he’d been too busy trying to pay the bills, keep his brother out of trouble fresh from discharge, and his daughter fed and taken care of. Now neither of them had time for that. It was only about survival and this teenage girl tethering them together. The mission. The woman, who Ellie had taken to calling Red for some reason he wasn’t paying attention to, wasn’t soft skinned anymore and probably hadn’t been for a long time. She was all bared teeth, sharp edges, and brutality. A bobcat whose first instinct was to tear and shred rather than be gentle. That’s how he first saw Red.

They’d been clearing an old building for the night to possibly stay in and had stumbled upon a group who’d camped the area, knowing what a prime location it was. Scavengers, vultures picking off whoever came through and taking what they could. There’d been a good number of them and Joel was only one man with a highly valuable ward so he did the rational thing and ran. Ellie had stumbled badly, falling behind in the blink of an eye. He’d cursed at himself later and reamed himself a new one at the fact he didn’t keep her in front of him. It was an amateur mistake and he wasn’t an amateur. The scavenger that had been persistently tailing them had been there fast, machete raised, still pissed at the blow the girl had landed on him earlier. Quicker than he could raise his own arm and shoot the guy Red had come barreling from a side room, swinging a metal bat so hard into the guy's head it dented. All teeth, growling like a goddamn animal, bashing the bat over and over into his head until it was nothing but pulp. Breathing hard, her eyes met his and it was like looking into a mirror. Hollow and broken and rage. Even when he hated her presence, it stirred something deep in his belly to see her spitting and angry at the world. Like a confirmation that only the cruel survived. That if something sweet like her had turned into a monster then he shouldn’t have expected better for himself. Permission. He was justified in his edges and bitterness. She’d helped Ellie and gotten them out, her choice made after seeing the asshole go after the girl. It took all night to get out of the city limits and far enough it was safe enough to rest. Then the damn kid got attached. She refused to go on without the woman after only one night, no matter how much Joel growled at her absolutely not. Red didn’t have anyone, was just surviving from one night to the next. The heavy implication that there had been a group, had been other people, once hung in the silence. And against his best wishes, Joel agreed if only to get the kid moving though he kept an eye on the woman diligently for at least a couple weeks.

They both didn’t like each other at first, but she looked after the girl and it helped having someone look over his shoulder after Tess… But she wasn't the smuggler who had been all broken edges and selfishness. Red didn’t give a shit about herself to a fault, so selfless at times it felt like it was a punishment or a goddamn death wish. Like she hated herself. She used her body like a weapon and made Ellie her sole priority as if she had nothing left tethering her to life until she saved the girl. He reasoned that it made his job easier, but if anything it made him more on edge watching her throw herself into every fight like a rabid animal with no care for her own safety. Joel reasoned that it was because seeing another person die would make Ellie harder to manage, but he wasn’t so sure. He wondered who she had lost to act that way and then he shoved that thought into the back of his mind because he didn’t care about her enough to wonder that. As the days went on, he could see the leftover marks from the world before and the person she used to be, small whispers of that bright eyed girl. A small tattooed “Love ya” in someone’s handwriting on her inner arm. Dainty flowers on her ankle. Stars on little strings under her collar bone. What you would expect a young woman to get if there weren’t an apocalypse. When she pissed him off, he called her Starshine mockingly, unable to see something so small and lighthearted without turning it bitter. She called him Tex after Ellie had spilled that’s where he was from. He hadn’t been able to hide the wince at the name so she kept at it like a bird pecking at an open wound. The memory of Tess's voice calling him that late at night had long since merged with her wide scared eyes as he left her to die. It flashed in his mind every time. It made him hate her more, but the anger kept him focused. Starshine. Tex. The pain was a revolving door. Red protected her bag religiously. It held everything that she owned, the only remnants of that life before. A small mixtape cassette of music, a couple of pictures, a pair of keys that were rusted and useless, a journal. He’d seen her damn near behead a guy who had attempted to rip it off her and she hadn’t stopped hacking away until she was soaked in blood and panting. It was the one time Ellie had been scared of her. Joel had been impressed. All teeth. She didn’t speak for days after that. That softness wasn’t completely gone though, just buried underneath thick callus-like skin. Sometimes he could catch it peeking through. When they’d happened upon a stream, she’d forced Ellie to wash her hair and he’d watched as Red helped her lean her hair back into the water and had even laughed when the girl swung it to splash her. She’d sat behind Ellie later on and combed through the long mess, complaining the kid was letting it get matted. Then she’d rolled her eyes when Ellie had complained in turn about Red’s aggressive brushing. She could handle people trying to kill her constantly but not getting her tangles brushed out. Joel had watched them out of the corner of his eye, warm coffee in his hands, and simply shook his head. The kid liked her and it kept Ellie from pestering him constantly, though he was finding he didn’t mind it as much. She would take turns asking them questions whether they be about the world or how things worked or their lives before. Sometimes she simply liked to read things out loud from her dumb joke book to whatever books she’d grab. It was the few times he saw Red crack a smile, her hand on Ellie’s bag to keep the girl moving forward and making sure she didn’t trip on anything while distracted. He was minding them both less and less. When they’d gone through a store, Red’s fingers had trailed over the tops of old records lovingly, wistfully. Joel had watched her linger for a second and the way her eyes had lightened, her lips pressed together as if she were remembering. When she caught him staring, her hand had snatched away and the light had sputtered out before she kept going. He’d resisted going over and seeing what records she had touched, finding the spots in the dust hers had made. One time after having found two whole bottles of booze and a safe enough spot to breathe, they’d both gotten drunk after Ellie had passed out. It’d been a hard day of travel and they had needed it. Joel hadn’t had alcohol in months and his tolerance had diminished, the liquor hitting him harder than it had in a while. She’d mentioned a younger sister and a guy named Harry and he didn’t have to wonder who she had lost anymore. The name burned in his belly along with the taste of the alcohol and he imagined someone handsome and young, maybe the owner of the “love ya” handwriting. He didn’t ask questions, didn’t pry to see how long that wound had been there. His own was twenty years old and still festering. Hell, there was a new one just a few months old. They’d switched to other topics. Music mostly, Texas, the Fireflies. Nothing too personal, but holding tiny glimpses of themselves. She’d fallen asleep first and his eyes had traced the tiny stars too many times to count, hand gripping the bottle of liquor to keep from reaching out. They both learned each other’s patterns. Months of traveling together, working together to keep Ellie safe, had given her the ability to read what he wanted without him even saying it. Survival did that. Flank left, check around the corner right, keep back with Ellie while he cleared the rooms. He trusted her to take care of the girl, but that selfless tendency sometimes reared its ugly head…except Joel didn’t know when things changed. When it stopped being a pain in the ass for him and instead drove high keeling panic through his body. The sun was getting low and they’d unintentionally come too close to what seemed like a fortified cabin. The owners had been out and stumbled upon them, a case of the wrong people at the wrong time, and Joel knew instantly what type of people these were. Not just preppers like Bill, but kill-first-zero-hesitation survivalists. Apparently simply knowing of the safe house’s location was a death sentence and they’d attacked before he could process. Joel had a guy in a chokehold, squeezing so tight he could hear the distinct crack of bones splintering. There’d been four, the first easy enough to take care of but while Red was finishing him, another was headed towards Ellie and had managed to hit her. The woman had thrown herself at him, literally, clinging onto his back and driving her knife over and over into his chest. But he wasn’t going down so easily and had grabbed onto her arm in turn, trapping her there. She didn’t see the fourth guy walking up with his gun trained. Didn’t see that she was seconds from being another name on the list of people who had died in Joel’s life. But he had. White hot panic shot through his chest and he hadn’t thought, hadn’t even grabbed the pistol that had fallen to the ground. Joel lunged, gunshot ringing through his ear, and tackled the man. Blood warmed his skin as he punched over and over and over again. He hadn’t needed a bat to do the same damage she had done that first time, he was a weapon himself and even as bone fragments embedded in his hands, skin caved, and brain matter splattered all over the ground he destroyed whatever was left of the man underneath him. “Joel!” her fervent whisper shot through him and the sound of his name, not just Tex, finally got him to stop, breathing hard. In the dying sun, he could see her perfectly standing next to him. Like starshine. Still alive, the barest graze of a bullet on her shoulder. But she was okay and Ellie was okay and the man was dead. And she wasn't afraid of him, sitting atop the mutilated corpse that he had done with his own hands. “You okay?” she asked and he wanted to laugh because she was asking him? But he nodded gruffly and attempted to stand, only pausing when she offered him a hand equally covered in blood. She used to be a singer. He’d be a musician. Now they were matching monsters. For some reason, seeing her blood soaked hand in his irked him. She hadn’t been paying attention to herself and was only focused on getting the guy away from Ellie. It was careless and remembering seeing the gun raised at her irritated him even more. “You damn near almost got killed, Starshine,” Joel growled, his anger finding its usual target, “You’re lucky I managed to get to him in time and all you got was a graze instead of your brains splattered all over the damn floor.” “I was protecting Ellie,” Red bit out, hackles raised, “I’m sorry, I thought that was the point? Would you rather I make sure her ass stays alive or mine?” He grit his teeth together and clenched his fists, the pain shooting up from the torn skin helping keep him grounded. The answer should have been easy. Ellie, always. She was the cargo, the whole reason behind this journey. But the fact he couldn’t make himself reply, wasn’t satisfied with either option, made him turn his back and walk towards the house in silence. He didn’t like what that meant. They could see why the group had wanted to protect the small cabin. It was a goldmine and if they didn’t have a goal, a mission, Joel would have loved to keep fixing the place up and stay there for the rest of his life. They had their own generators, a high concrete fence, a water well, and even a small farm behind the house. They even had electricity and running hot water. It was a goddamn oasis in the middle of the forest, a more rustic smaller version of what Bill and Frank had. After clearing the whole place, it was decided they all would stay at least a day or two. It was safe enough and that would give them all time to rest, restock, and breathe before continuing on to Wyoming. It was a luxury and there was no sense not taking advantage of that.

Ellie had happily raced through the whole house, digging through the previous occupants' belongings as if she hadn’t just witnessed all four of them get massacred. She flipped through their books, went through the pantries, and even shouted happily to Red at the discovery of a radio and collection of tapes. She’d paused only to scrunch up her nose, looking at the two adults, “Actually, you both should take showers first. You both need it so I’ll go last.” Joel had looked down, blood and mud covering his arms and pants while Red’s torso and hands were crimson as well. Now that the adrenaline was seeping from his body, the sting of his knuckles were making themselves known. He nodded his head at the woman, brow furrowed, “You can take a shower in the Master. I’m gonna take stock of all their shit and use the hallway one.” For once, Red didn’t argue, only pressed her lips tightly together and nodded before heading down to where they’d discovered the large master bedroom. She was usually quick to argue about being told what to do, but Joel tried not to think too much about it and chalked it up to exhaustion. The hot water was a godsend for his bunch up muscles though it stung like hell on his wounds. Hands pressed against the shower wall, he let the water run over his skin and wash away all the blood away. The murky rust colored water swirled and disappeared down the drain and though his brain told him to be efficient, clean and get in and out, he allowed him a small bit of time to stand there and zone out. There’d been a fixed up jeep in a makeshift garage out back. They could tear every salvageable supply from the cabin, fill it up, and finally make it to Wyoming in record time instead of the weeks, months, it’d been taking walking there. A couple days to rest and they’d be on their way. But with a plan set, his mind inevitably went to the woman he’d just butchered a man to protect. It hadn’t been like that moment with Ellie, standing in front of the FEDRA soldier. That night his mind had disappeared, seeing the light of the gun and knowing there was a young girl behind him that was the same age Sarah had been made him flashback to that moment. He’d been there again, but different. More brutal, more capable. He wouldn’t let her get hurt again. No, this was different. Pure instinct had taken over his body and he hadn’t thought at all. Ellie hadn’t been the one in danger, Red had, but the reaction had been visceral. He hadn’t wanted her name to end up on that list of people Joel couldn’t save. Hell, he didn’t even know her real name. No one to mourn her but him and the kid. Running a hand over his face, he finished washing up and turned the water off, not wanting to take all the heat before Ellie could get cleaned up. His muscles had loosened but that only let every ache and soreness seep in, his knuckles a mess of skin and small fragments of bone stabbed in. They were going to smart for a while and he needed to get the splinters out. Joel threw on a loose shirt and clean pair of jeans, water dripping from his damp hair even as he tried to comb it back. He’d seen a small suture kit in the master bedroom with some tweezers. Cursing himself for not grabbing it, he left the bathroom and barely missed being bulldozed over as Ellie ran in, “my turn!” He frowned as the door slammed shut loudly in her eagerness, shaking his head at the teenager and sighing. Red had to still be in the shower so that would give him enough time to grab the kit from the bedroom and try to clean up his hand. Most of the fragments were in his right hand, his dominant one, and it was gonna be a bitch to get out. The master bedroom was more like a stockpile than what it previously was. All the outer windows had been boarded up, the only entrance to the house being the front door. Racks of fabric, supplies, all sorts lined the walls. Nothing decorative, purely functional. Turning to the bathroom door to make sure it was still shut, Joel went over and found the shelf of First Aid supplies and rifled through until he came across the small kit. No alcohol, but there was some ointment and bandages so better than nothing. “Shoulda just used the gun,” Red’s voice was soft despite the words and he turned, finding her leaning against the open door frame in nothing but a towel. Steam poured from the entryway, light reflecting off the mist and surrounding her almost in a glow. She looked cleaner than he’d ever seen, skin shiny and hair sticking to her neck. The little tattooed stars winked at him even from across the room. He forgot how quiet she could be sometimes. “You rather I take three seconds to find my gun in the dark and let you get shot or deal with a busted hand?” Joel bit out gruffly, hand clenching reflexively though he wasn’t sure if it was out of pain or because he wanted to trace the long line of her bare neck. She didn’t reply, arms crossed over her torso before padding over and grabbing the kit from his hands. Her face was never relaxed, lips always pressed together in a slight purse and brows lowered. A line between her eyes was beginning to develop, the apocalypse wearing and tearing her down like the rest of them. He wondered if she had been a smiler when she was younger and shared her music but then clamped down on that thought. “Sit,” Red bit out though she accompanied it by shoving a hand against his chest, forcing him to take a seat on the edge of the bed. His own brows furrowed into a hard line, back stiff, at the none too gentle movement though his mouth went dry for an entirely different reason as she kneeled in front of him. He could see the little stars up close, peering down at her as she shoved her way between his knees on the floor. She smelled of soap and something floral which had his brain confused because it didn’t fit her. Maybe the her before, but not the one soaked in blood that usually was at his side. She grabbed his hand in her’s without even asking him and pulled it forward to rest on his thigh, laying out the contents of the kit next to them before pulling the tweezers out. Joel could only watch and control his breathing, trying not to shudder at the feel of her warm skin against his jeans or the brush of her hair over his arms. It’d been a while…since Tess and he wasn’t going to deny that Red was attractive. Hell, any man probably would have a hard time keeping his thoughts pure with a pretty woman between his thighs. But her on her knees, fingers skimming over his knuckles, made him clench his teeth in an attempt to remain neutral.

“You don’t have to-” “Shut up, Miller,” Red muttered, holding the tweezers and working to dig out one of the larger splinters, “I’ve seen you use your left and you’re shit with it.” Joel huffed and tried to focus on the pain, his breathing, anything but her touch. He should have yanked his hand away and shrugged her off, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not when she was this close and he could watch her, memorize the freckles along her shoulders and the trail of water sliding down. She pulled out a few large fragments of bone and he watched in morbid curiosity at the small pile. They’d once belonged to the skull of another person. Joel had managed to smash his head in so hard they’d dug underneath his skin, silent retribution in the last moments of that man’s life. Now he was in his house, using his water and his things, taking his bed. “Luckily it doesn’t seem like you fractured your hand,” Red muttered, adding another small bone to the pile. One of her hands was holding the tweezers while the other wrapped around his fingers, his own hand almost gently wrapped around hers. He tried to shrug it off as her holding it to maneuver it around.

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Joel grumbled and cleared his throat as her thumb trailed over the cuts on his knuckles. The small movement was surprisingly gentle, something he didn’t expect from her. “You saved me,” the words were whispered softly as if she didn’t want to speak them out loud into existence. But he’d heard them, had been acutely aware of the sound of her breathing and the way her lips formed the words even as she concentrated on pulling the splinters out. And her saying them, confirming what he had done, shot a different kind of pain through him. Because he had saved her and for all the excuses he tried to come up with, they were just that. Excuses. The real reason why wasn’t something he was willing to admit to. But it stirred that anger he relied on when confronted by something he didn’t like. Vulnerability. “I wouldn’t have had to if you’d been watching yourself,” he growled low and tried to jerk his hand out of her grasp, but she held on strong, “Should have stayed back and behind me like I told you to.” Her eyes flickered up to meet his hazel ones under her brow and those long lashes, the look hard and sharp. “Right. It’s always listen to you or do what you say as if you’re the expert on surviving,” her voice was low and rough like a crackling flame, “Anyone ever told you that you have control issues, Tex?” The sight of her angry, on her knees in just a towel and wet hair clinging to her skin, framing those little tattooed stars had something stirring deep inside. His free hand dug into his thigh and he tried to ignore how soft her hands were even as they gripped his injured one, “My control issues have kept me alive this long. You knew what you were signing up for when you tagged along. I didn’t need a second little girl to watch over if that’s how you want to act, Starshine.” She chuckled humorlessly and leaned in towards him between his thighs, “No, you see at first I thought that was your type. That you liked being obeyed and I was almost sure that’s how you liked getting your rocks off. Some sweet damsel in distress who needs you and gets on their knees to please you however you want like good girls.” As if emphasizing her point, she sat up straight all prim and proper and he tried to ignore the trickle of water that slid down her cleavage and into the towel. Red wasn’t wrong entirely. The sight had his mouth watering and as her hand rested on his thigh, squeezing the thick muscle there, arousal flooded him. Then the hand still holding his injured one squeezed and he hissed, a strange combination of pleasure and pain hitting him, “But the more I see you, I don’t think you want some submissive sweet thing at all. I think you like someone arguing with you more, right Tex?” Joel glared at her, blood pounding through his veins. He was loath to admit to her being right, at confirming that she had read that part of him, especially as she sat there half naked and looking so smug. Maybe she was right. Hell, that had been what had drawn him to Tess. He didn’t like gentle, didn’t trust it anymore. Gentle got you killed and even if he did want her to listen and do what she was told, it’d been born out of wanting to keep a distance. But she wasn’t gentle and she didn’t listen. She was a wild animal, all teeth, and hell if that hadn’t made her attractive even while driving him wild. “Guess you got me all figured out, don’t ya Starshine?” he hissed, leaning towards her. Her fingers clenched onto him tighter and he got the urge to lick the star pattern along her collarbone, just to see what she’d do. But he didn’t, eyes narrowing and drilling into her own, “Except you’re wrong if you don’t think I like seeing you on your knees for me.” Her pupils were wide and blown up, skin flushed and scars in even more stark relief. Each deep breath made her chest rise and fall and he knew even if she was trying to hide it, his words had affected her the same. Joel only leaned back and ripped his hand from hers, moving to stand up, “Now get dressed and go to sleep if you’re done bothering me.” He’d snatched the suture kit and tweezers from the bed, stepping around the woman and leaving her still on her knees as he went for the door. He felt the urge to look back at her, to see her reaction, but he only pressed forward and left, shutting the door behind him. If he didn’t look back, she would stay the same monster as him in his head, not the girl who smelled of flowers and gently pressed against his thighs. And he needed that reassurance even as the memory of her skin on his made his fists clench.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x oc #joel miller x f!reader #tlou #tlou fanfiction #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #raicodoll writes #i've been in a writers block lately and been busy so this helped me a bit #also I'm texan so I feel like I have a slight advantage writing Joel lol #I tried doing 2nd POV and it came out awful so sorry #have another oc lol #fic: monsters #oc: Red #feral reader #series: feral

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defrosted69 · 1 year

Text

Is it alright to fall in love with you?

(New Jeans Hanni fanfic)

****Since you guys liked Hanni so much, I made another one so here you go Yohohoho****

They say that a beautiful flower will emerge from it's beautiful stem once it fulfilled its cycle. The sun will welcome the blossom and let it shine where everyone can see the beauty of the flower. Bees and butterfly will come by to say hello to greet the flower. Everything will slow down as their eyes will land to its beautiful structure. Even the rain will pay homage to its Beauty by helping it add aesthetic to the petals that shows eternal beauty. Photographers would be at awe and would make the surroundings a photoshoot.

All glory would be given to the flower but there are those who got stuck in the middle of the process and froze on what to do next. Some wither away unable to withstand the harsh punishment of mother nature as they fall to the ground slowly getting buried and forgotten as they are not there to witness the blooming of their fellow peers who transcended to become a beautiful flower.

Just like in life, many people doesn't bloom to their full potential and they stagnate on their own state not knowing what to do to take that next step. And sadly, you ended up like them.

You have to wonder, how did life turn out like this for you. Everything was so optimistic and bright for you growing up as you have the vision and passion to reach your dreams but slowly, they began to crumble down. All that sunshine was Just your delusion thinking you can take care of it when in reality, life hit you hard like a bullet train. It didn't stop and it continued to torment your life every hour, every minute, every second and every breath you take. Everything had fallen apart from you.

That smile you once had held and showed off to was gone. Infront of your mirror was a tired and empty face that showed no enthusiasm about anything. That fire you once had that you hoped to keep burning was washed in an instant. Rekindling that fire felt so pitiful for you but nothing, nothing ever made that fire back on.

Recalling it now, you couldn't even remember the last time that you genuinely felt happy. Your days felt like a repetitive cycle that just doesn't end and it felt exhausting. But weirdly enough, you feel like keeping that cycle on repeat is your comfort area, like there was no point for you to add something in that cycle because it will just ruin everything that was schedule for you. Society and your personality made it hard for you to make friends entering college.

Gone where the days when you were making cool and enjoyable memories down town wit your bikes. There was no more time for you to mess around and have fun as the sunsets peak through the valley's. The word fun didn't exist anymore on your vocabulary and was replaced with work and money.

Your friends from high school was slowly becoming the person they dreamed off enjoying the labor of their hardship while for you? What's there to enjoy? You were working on a 7 to 8 hour work hour and sometime even have to go to overtime with less pay than what they promised. It was tiring.

So tiring.

You opened your apartment room and you were greeted by the familiar small space that you have been accustomed to. Today was the worst day for you. Job really felt like shit and your girlfriend just dumped you like it was nothing. The 4 years of loving each other, giving everything to her was all drained down the pipe for nothing. You gave all her what you can but it seems it wasn't enough.

You gave her chocolates, yet someone gave her 5 different boxes of imported sweets.

You gave her flowers, yet someone rented a whole flower shop for her on her birthday.

You skipped your days just to attend her needs, yet someone gave her what every person wanted.

You gave her a teddy bear, yet someone gifted her a whole toy store.

You spend a lot for her than yourself, yet someone offered the same but didn't even lost any penny.

You gave her your world, yet someone gifted her the universe.

You laid on your bed thinking of what you did to have this kind of life. Everything was just turning into shit day by day and nothing postive was coming out of your efforts to be better. It has come to the point that you found yourself thinking about going back to where you were truly happy.

"I just want to he happy!! What do I have to do to get my happiness back! What more can I do?!"

You thought to yourself as the alcohol has finally started to kick in your system. Your vision was turning blurry as the ceiling began dancing in perspective. The world was suddenly spinning around you yet you didn't have the energy to move up. You endure the dizziness and eventually the alcohol calmed down and so was your body.

KNOCK

"Anybody home?"

You woke up upon an unfamiliar voice. The sun was already peaking out of your room as your curtains danced slowly with the soft passing breeze that passed by. You yawned a little and stretched your arms out waking your whole body up. Your legs felt weak at the moment yet you were able to reel yourself to open the door as the sun's light blinded you for a few seconds.

"Who is it? Hmm?"

You blinked a couple times after your vision was finally back. You couldn't see anyone infront of you but your brain clarified you that there was indeed someone who called out to you-

"I'm down here Mister."

An irritated voice called out to you as you lowered your view and there you saw a highschool kid glaring at you. She looked at you as if you made the biggest crime known to mankind but you blinked a couple of times making sure you're awake.

"You're not a ghoul are you? Am I dead?"

This wasn't kindly received as the girl glared at you even more and harshly handed you a pot. You were caught off guard by her harsh action but you manage to catch the pot on your chest with your hands. The girl then began stomping her small feet away from you and mumbling the words

"Rude Ahjussi....."

You were left stunned not knowing what to do or say as you looked at the pot and there was a note attached to its cover.

"We're your new neighbors. And we made some Kinchi stew for you as our gift for you. Please treat us well"

You were honestly confused by their action because there was no way that people still do stuff like this especially in this new era of society. But if someone with a kind heart was offering you a gift then who are you to decline right?

Your day started off rather well with a free breakfast and you can even call it a hangover dish which helped you a lot since you were so DRUNK last night. You somehow ended up finishing the pot of food unconsciously because you were just taking and taking that you realized that the food was delicious. It somehow reminded you off home in sense but nonetheless, you had to return the favor for giving you such delicious food for breakfast.

You washed their pot and checked your wallet if you were still financially okay or on the brink of loaning. Luckily for you, you have enough money to pay the neighbors kindness but your mood suddenly took a dip seeing the picture of you and your girlfriend, or well, in this case, your Ex-girlfriend. You sighed and closed your wallet as you prepared yourself to buy some ingredients.

"Yow Pham Hanni, why do you look like your pissed or something?"

"Don't start with me Minji."

Hanni snarled at her best friend who raised her hands up in surrender. Kim Minji has been best friends with Hanni since elementary and up until now. The two shared a lot of things together, spend time together and even sleep at each other's home sometimes.

"Chill, you're the one who needs to apologize to me remember? You almost broke my heart thinking your going far away."

Hanni's stoic expression suddenly cracked as she began to smile slowly and show an amused expression.

"Heh, Did I broke your poor heart Minji?"

"Of course Dummy. I was Almost about to cry my heart out the day you moved but here you are. Still in this city."

Hanni finally let her happiness get to her as she laughed whole heartedly making Minji chuckle at her. Hanni's Father was a contract engineer and sometimes, he has to move from one place to another making it for her family to stay at an original place sometimes. But this time, Her father finally was able to land a permanent spot in this city but unfortunately, they could only afford an apartment for now as their finance was still a little shambles after moving from places to places.

Though it was kinda sad for Hanni, it was more sadder for Minji because her heart would litterally crack open everytime Hanni would move away. This has been the 4th time since the Pham's move to a new home and Minji still can't take losing her best friend again.

"Haha, My bad Minji. But I promise you, this time I'm staying here."

"Promise me?"

Minji hugged her which made Hanni sigh but she found it disgusting how Minji gave her the puppy eyes. This was one of the 3 things Hanni didn't like about Minji. First is that she's quite lazy, second is that she's so soft and pure that sometimes, her kindness would lead to misunderstandings, and lastly is her puppy eyes. She just find it so disgusting and annoying.

"Yah, your an 18 year old girl yet your doing this puppy eyes? Ewww. Stop it Minji."

"Promise me? ~~~"

Minji didn't listen and just blinked more showing off her puppy eyes. At this point, Hanni wanted to puke her breakfast out but she just groaned and nodded her head. Minji smiled happily and hugged her even more tightly.

"Can't... Breath... You... Monster strength...."

"Opps, My bad hehehe~"

Minji chuckled as she let Hanni go making the small girl breath heavily.

"Why the fuck are you so strong?"

"I don't know?"

"Whatever"

"Anyway, Why did you looked annoyed earlier?"

Hanni sighed as she recalled the events from earlier. They just successfully moved last night and Hanni really wanted to skip classes today because not only she can rest, but she can finally see her childhood crush next to their house.

Yes, that's right. Hanni's childhood crush is you, your pathetic ass.

She was so excited seeing you last night enter your room but she also felt worried seeing you all wobbly and tired walking to your room. This kinda made her sad because time wasn't really that gentle with you. But then again, that was kinda true. So that night, she formulated a plan to finally see you face to face and it just so happen that her mother made the kimchi soup for you. Hearing about it, she immediately volunteered to give you the pot. Honestly, she was very nervous as every step she took towards your room made her heart race so fast.

She was afraid that she might slip up seeing you face to face but when she finally was infront of your door. She knocked 3 times and waited for you patiently. When the door opened, she finally saw you. She was a bit surprised seeing you so tall than what she last remembered but the thing that pissed her off was that, You were busy looking for her when she was standing infront of you. Hanni has a little ego when it comes to her height and this made her glare at you.

Without even thinking, she harshly gave you the pot and stared to walk away stomping her way out as her face show a bright red color. She was fuming with both embarrassment and anger not towards you but herself.

"FUXKK!! Why did I get pissed when he didn't look down on me!! Gosh, me and my temper! Arghh!"

She mumbled some words out of her frustration but she immediately covered her mouth hoping you didn't hear her and that's how her morning ended with you.

"So that's it huh? How old is he anyway?"

Minji asked Hanni as she wasn't really sure of what your age really was.

"Uhhhh, I first met her when I was 8 so it's been 10 years. He used to have a middle schooler uniform back then so maybe around 23 of 22? I'm not sure."

"Uhuh, So you like older guys huh?"

Minji smirked at her as she tried to make embarrassed but this only made Hanni giggle in delight and sway her body to the side. Minji was caught off guard by this as she didn't expect her best friend to be so deeply in love with someone older than their age.

"Woah Hanni, hide your blush girl. You're litterally telling me that you like older guys."

"I don't like older guys geez. I just like him Hehehehe~"

Hanni once again giggled like a madman in love and Minji could only chuckle. She was already aware of Hanni's first love but she didn't expect that her first love still stayed with her till now. She has to commend her best friend for her loyalty and perseverance to not let that love die.

"Is this why you rejected a lot of guys like even the popular ones like Sunoo, Sunghoon Oppa, and even Jay Oppa?"

"Yup, there nothing compared to Y/N Oppa. Heheheh~"

"Eh? What if he has a girlfriend?"

Hanni's smile dropped after realizing what her best friend said. She completely forgot about that possibility. 10 years of waiting and something like that wasn't out of the picture at all. Hanni sighed and pouted her lips indicating that she was now sad.

"Well if so, then I'll just be fine being friends with him then. I'm okay with just that."

Minji felt sad for her. She finally realized how much Hanni likes you to the point that she would throw away her happiness for yours. This somehow made her feel pity for her friend as a idea popped into her head.

"Hey, Listen to me Hanni."

"Hmm?"

"From here on out, I'll support you with your love journey with him."

Hanni smiled softly at her. It was nice for her to hear that Minji would support her whatever her decision maybe.

"Thank Minji. That means a lot."

"Heheh of course. That's what are best friends are for. Just don't turn into a Yandere though...."

"You bitch. We both know someone fits that category than us."

Minji chuckled and nodded her head.

"True, true. Well anyway, lunch is ending soon. Shall we walk Honey~"

"Shut up Minji. And yes, let's go back to class."

School finally ended and Hanni was glad that the teachers didn't give them any homework to do cause she was tired asf. She didn't want to study anymore and her first aim to do was to go to her room and sleep. The sun was setting already when she arrived at their apartment building and the memories of earlier made her cringe. She had hoped that the events earlier was nothing but a nightmare.

"Stupid Hanni, what were you even thinking doing that."

She sighed as she opened the door to her house.

"I'm home~"

Hanni said as she removed her shoes and placed them on the shoerack near their door. She heard laughter coming from the kitchen as this made her curious.

"Did Mom brought over her friends?"

It wasn't unusual for her Mother to bring over some of her friends at their place as Hanni has grown accustomed to it. Sometimes she would think of it as a norm especially when her mother introduces her to some of her Mother friends son who's the same age as her. Honestly speaking, she didn't care about any of the guys that was being introduced to her as she was set on you and nobody else.

She got closer and there her breath hitched. Her hearth began to beat faster and her whole body froze. She gripped the hem of her skirt as a warm and hot temperature arose through her cheeks. You stood there smiling and laughing along with her mother as you converse about her.

You wanted to repay the delicious favor they did for you earlier so you went out and brought out ingredients needed for the dishes you prepared. It wasn't grande kind of dishes as you didn't have much on you but like the saying goes "Kindness isn't paid but rather showed".

A simple tteokboki dish that goes with some kimbap that your mother used to make for you when you were in Highschool. Her ways of making the food still lingered on your memory and it has become a comfort food for you whenever you feel down. It's just your laziness kicking in everytime you thought making the dish. But this time, that laziness was gone as you tried your best to make the best Gimbap there is inorder to repay the kindness they gave you.

You were quiet anxious in all honestly because this was your first time entering a place which isn't your home or your work place. But that was immediately washed away when the woman happily helped you carry the food as you thanked her for the dish earlier. The woman just shrugged it off as she introduced herself as Mrs. Pham. She wasn't korean but she was very fluent in speaking the language. You also began to help her out in the kitchen as she told you stories about her daughter.

Just by hearing the stories that she was saying, it sounded like her daughter was very smart and outgoing person. Then a sudden realization hit you in the face. The girl from earlier must have been her daughter but remembering what happened earlier, you began to question yourself why she was mad at you in the first place.

"Ah, Hanni sweety, you're home. Meet Mr. Y/N Lee. He's the neighbor you gave the soup to earlier."

You looked behind you and you saw the girl from earlier but this time, instead of glaring at you, she seems to be in a state of shock and suprise. Both of you locked at each other's eyes as Hanni's thoughts were in shambles.

"Oh my gosh oh my goshohmygoshohmygosh!"

She didn't know what to do as You gave her a small smile and a simple wave as you felt embarrassed after the incident from earlier. You were in dire need to apologize to her because of some misunderstandings. Her parents seems really cool to be with and they also seem to be very wise as well.

"Hanni, Prepare the plates already and stop standing here."

Her mother's voice snapped her back to reality as she looked down embarrassed walking past you in a hurry. You were slightly suprised by her speed but you just thought that she must still have hated for earlier. You just let it bypass your thought and decides to leave the household because you already did what you originally want to do. But then, her father saw you slowly walking away and said

"Where you going young man?"

Even though you weren't looking at them, you felt pairs of eyes staring at your back with intensity which somehow made you nervous. You gulped silently and turned your back smiling at them awkwardly.

"Oh I uhh.. I'm going home now Sir. I just want to give back the food from earlier. Thank you by the way-"

"Hiyaaah, come and eat with us. Come on."

Mrs. Pham said as she brightly smiled at you. Her hand signalled you to come and eat with them but you just bowed and shook your head. The atmosphere around the household was something that you missed dearly on your own. The sense of family that you longed ago forgotten was slowly coming back at you because of them. It was quite joyful but at the same time sad for you.

"Come and eat with us Oppa, you deserve a little break"

Hearing the words of Hanni made you stiffen as you looked at her. The glare she gave you earlier was now gone and was replaced with a soft expression that you couldn't believe she was able to do. For some odd reason, her expression and words struck a chord in your heart as you held your emotion in tact. You didn't want to embarras yourself against them after all because you know they were good people.

"If Hanni says it’s okay then you should stay Y/N."

Her father said finally making you concede to their decision for you to stay. You walked back towards the kitchen and offered a seat for Hanni, you were after all a guest and it's the owners rights to sit first and you be the last. But for Hanni, her heart was ready to explode by your gesture. Sure, some may say that it's just an etiquette to show but for Hanni, this was something she will forever embed in her memory.

"Take a seat Hanni"

"T-Thank you O-Oppa..."

"No problem."

Dinner proceeded like normal as if you were part of their Family. It was weird because that old feeling of belonging came crashing down on you and you felt your emotion slowly cracking open. You held to your chopstick tightly and gripped it tight holding yourself in. But Mrs. Pham noticed this as she felt pity towards you. What she was seeing in you was not an adult man but rather, a tired and worn out soldier who's been keeping himself strong for a long time now.

"Y/N-ssi.."

"Y-Yes?"

"It's okay. It's okay."

Her warm and comforting words was the final nail to your coffin as you bit your lips as they quivered slowly. Tears began to slowly fall out of your eyes and Hanni felt so devastated seeing you crying.

"Oppa..."

"N-No, It's okay.. I-I'm fine... I'm fine really.."

Your words didn't match your action as tears was falling from your eyes as you try your best to hide them but to no vail. Everything about the household just broke you because seeing how they were all connected made you remember the past you used to have. The happiest moment you used to have before was gone and it was painful because you didn't ask anyone to remove that happiness from you. It was taken from you and seeing the Pham family act like how you used to, made you miss the old times. You covered your eyes preventing you to lose more tears but then suddenly, Mr. Pham stood up and patted your back.

"It's all right Kiddo, let it all out."

Their kindness towards you, a complete stranger was really getting you to break down your walls that you built so much. The protection towards not showing weakness was taken down immediately. Ironically, kindness was the reason it was taken down.

Hanni clenched her fist in sadness and worry because she didn't expect you to cry your heart out. The silent sniffles was all she needed to know that you went through a lot of hardship, alone.

"Oppa...I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Hanni blames herself for being not there whenever you needed help. This was preety obvious that you were fighting your own problems alone and as great as it sounds, it wasn't a healthy way of dealing a problem. This only gave Hanni more reason to be by your side. At this point, she wasn't even thinking to be your wife, just a friend is enough for her as for the moment.

You have expected that Dinner would be awkward after your embarrassing breakdown but no, it didn't. It become more livelier than earlier as her parents told you amazing stories about their life, their struggles, and many more. Her father has told you many inspiring words that you surely will live out. You were slowly admiring Hanni's father because of her wisdom and his wife for her comforting words. You felt like you were home again with them and that brought a small smile upon your face. You offered your services to wash the dishes but Mrs. Pham decline the offer and told you to rest up. You tried to push for your agenda but in the end, Mrs. Pham won.

You thanked them and apologized for the nuisance you cause but they just brushed it off and even told you that you were welcome in their home anytime. You weren't gonna lie, you actually had a great time there and it was one of the few positive moments you have so far since being an adult. Hanni was the one who had to walk you towards your room even though it was less than a minute walk but you didn't complain.

"Listen Hanni. About earlier, I'm sorr-"

"I should be the one apologizing Oppa. I was too insensitive towards you. Please forgive me"

Hanni bowed to you with her entire back bend forward as you were surprised by her action. You actually didn't mind her actions earlier because you felt like you were the one who caused it anyway.

"N-No, it's okay Hanni. I should be the one apologizing to you because I was the one who's insensitive towards you. I didn't know you were small.."

Hanni bit her lip controlling her rage because she hates it being called small.

"But you're cute. I-I mean you being small adds to your cute factor. Gosh what am I saying to a teenager? I'm so out of touch from reality."

You groaned and gave yourself a self palm to the head as the words that came out of your mouth was something inappropriate especially since Hanni was still a teenager and your a grown ass man. Saying stuff like that in the open would immediately send you to jail and your life will forever be fucked. But Hanni was the opposite, she loved every word that you said and her face right now was Red as a tomato. She took in deep breaths in order to calm herself down before fixing her posture and looking at you.

"Well I don't mind you calling me Cute Oppa cause that's true anyway."

That sentence made you chuckle at her and shook your head.

"Yah, you shouldn't be too proud of yourself. That can bite you in the ass."

"Hmph. Nope."

Hanni smiled brightly as you just chuckled at her. Even though you two were now talking comfortably, you still somehow feel bad for her with the incident earlier.

"Listen Hanni, is there anything you want? I kinda still feel bad for earlier. Let me make up for it."

"Please be my boyfriend...”

She wanted to say those words out loud but she still has a lot of things to do and this was a great baby steps for her in order to achieve that goal.

"Hmmm well, there's a movie I really want to watch so.... Maybe we can go watch it together in the weekends Oppa?"

This was her shot, well probably her best shot of her life and she just laid it out. In her defense, this was the best opportunity to have and she might not even get another chance like this again.

"Weekends huh? Sure, I can make time in Saturday."

Hanni wanted to die from happiness. One of her dreams on going on a date with you was finally happening as she she flashed you the best smile she ever has. You on the other hand found it adorable how Hanni smiled sweetly at you.

"Alright, here's my number Oppa. Contact me when your free. Hehehe~"

"Ah right, here's mine too."

Hanni gave you her number which you saved in your contacts as Hanni did the same.

"Well, see you around Oppa. Goodnight and also, Thanks for the food, they were delicious."

Hanni gave you a thumbs up as you just chuckled and shrugged your shoulders. The moonlight was quite bright tonight as the full moon showed itself in the black sky. You waved her goodbye as she walked away smiling and happily waving at you. You entered your room and you immediately noticed the atmosphere between Hanni's house and yours.

"They are such a sweet family. I wished my family stayed together like them..."

You could only sigh at that false wish as you did your nightly routine and headed to bed.

Hanni meanwhile was smiling ear to ear and dancing in her room listening to New Jeans as her day was complete. She finally got her ultimate crush number, converse with him, and finally set a date between the two of you. Hanni's luck was truly kind towards her today and she couldn't be more thankful towards the man above.

"Thank you God for today. Please, please let me be his Woman. If not then at least let me be his shoulder to cry on."

Although everything was going great for her, she still couldn't help but feel sad for you after all.

"Y/N went through a lot in the span of 10 years huh. He really deserves a happy life ahead of him. Hmm... What should I do to make that possible..."

Through out the night, Hanni thought off many possible ways to make your smile appear once again, and this time, a smile that wasn't sad or broken but rather, a smile that showed true happiness.

The days for Hanni was slow and she hated how time was moving so slow as if it was preventing her to get what she wanted. She has been restless lately thinking on what she would wear, how she would act, and how she should attract you. But even though she was quiet anxious and annoyed of the slow days, she was quiet glad of taking your number because the two of you have been in touch lately.

You find it very surprising that talking with Hanni on the phone was actually quite enjoyable and fun to be. You enjoyed listening to her afternoon rant and late night conspiracies because you found it amusing that someone like her is already running wild in imagination. It was something you lost before and it's probably the reason why your life has been dull. The lack of imagination and inspiration to create such imagination was long gone. There was no way for you to recreate those crazy and creative imagination of yours but hearing Hanni's crazy imagination, well you couldn't help but smile at that.

Hanni was what you were before, an energetic, creative, and adrenaline pump person. People like that are very rare to find nowadays and growing up, you lost your old self in order to adapt to society and act like the adult because you are now THE adult. Finding time to be foolish was already off your calendar as there was no time for that, everything needs to be serious in order to accomplish something.

Even though Hanni didn't like hearing advices, There was an exception towards you. Hanni would sometimes spill some days where she hated it and you would come up and tell her some advices and things she would work out on. Of course, she didn't like it at first but realizing that you went through tough times, this was the best way for her to at least Change some of her bad habits that she has grown out off. Although it was good for you that you were advising Hanni, she didn't like it completely because she felt like she was being treated like a kid by you.

She wishes that this kind of advices wouldn't just let you see her as a kid but she hoped that it would get past that. This is one of her fears especially when it comes to liking you now. You were the adult between each other so it was only natural for you to act like one but can you look past Hanni as a kid? That question was one thing that made Hanni anxious of what she will do next.

Nonetheless her questions would be answered on their Movie date.

Hanni woke up earlier than usual as her heart was pumping so fast. This was the day she finally can get on a date with you which she could only dream off. She had already prepared the clothes she was gonna wear for this day last night as she made sure that her outfit would literally captivate you. She had asked Minji about her opinion on what she would wear and the chaotic pair would end up emptying the closet of Hanni leaving her room a total mess. As if a tornado was able to enter her room, Minji was able to find the best outfit for her despite the carnage around her room.

Minji might be the best stylist Hanni has ever met in her life because Minji is that type of girl who can lead a new trend. The powers she holds if she was casted on a photoshoot, Hanni would bet that Minji would change the game in the fashion industry.

Hanni took a double shower and made sure the shampoo she was using would create a beautiful scent if passed by. She usually stay at the shower room for half an hour but today, she made sure nothing would be flaw in her body as she took longer than usual. Her father could raise his eyebrows because he would be in for a suprise seeing the water bill slightly increase.

You on the other hand was eating your ramen as you forgot to buy ingredients once again because of the tiring workload you did this week. As if last week wasn't hellish enough, this week was doubled than the last. Everyone was working overtime because they couldn't afford leaving their work in overdue. Everyone wanted a break so they all decided to do overtime which in turn causes them to lack sleep and proper rest. You were part of the suffering as you didn't even had a proper meal the entire week.

Instant food was your go to lunch, dinner and breakfast which wasn't very healthy to begin with. Even though the days were tiring, seeing the messages of Hanni every night was enough to leave a small smile on his face. Hanni was slowly becoming your happy pill because her energy is just so contagious that you couldn't help but feel a smile forming on your face every time you would see her in the apartment hallways or in her messages.

Today was the day to somehow thank her for being a reason that brings a smile on your face. You took a quick shower and checked some clothes for you in your closet. You wanted to slap yourself from embarrassment as all of your clothes were all too formal and a quick realization hit you.

"I guess I didn't even have time to buy clothes for myself huh.."

You sighed as you decided to wear your white polo and your usual formal pants. You decided to remove the suit jacket in order to look less formal because today was your off day. You hoped that Hanni wouldn't mind your attire at all considering you look like your usual uniform. Nonetheless, you got out of your apartment earlier than the supposed meet up because you didn't want to show up late.

You messaged Hanni saying your outside her apartment when a few seconds later, Hanni came out looking very preety. Your eyes landed front upon her beauty as you were star struck by her visuals. This was your first time seeing Hanni without her uniform and you immediately saw the difference between her Uniform attire and casual clothes. She wore a simple white shirt and light brown jacket that goes along well with her brown baggy pants.

You chuckled seeing how adorable she looked with her pants while Hanni blushed and pouted seeing and hearing you chuckle.

"Yah, What's so funny Oppa?"

"Ah no it's nothing."

"Nothing? You liar. You're laughing at my outfit huh?"

"No, no of course not. You actually look adorable with your attire."

Well that was enough to make Hanni flustered. She froze in place for a couple of seconds as the words that came out of your mouth replayed over and over her thoughts.

"So, what movie do you wanna watch Hanni?"

"H-Huh? Oh umm.. Let's just go to the cinema and see if it's still there."

"Sure. Let's go."

The two of you walked away from the apartment building as Hanni began to converse about you about her school life. It took you by suprise when you heard her say that she's actually quite smart. You decided to tease her making her whine at you and pout cutely which you didn't mind at all. But unknown to you, Hanni actually loved it and was blushing slowly. Through out the walk, Hanni couldn't help but glance at you whenever she has the chance too. Your simple formal attire just makes her heart weak and makes her heart flutter.

Upon arriving at the Cinema, you were suprised by how many people were there and your attention immediately landed on Hanni. Your instinct kicked in as you held her hand which made Hanni blush furiously. The way your hand made contact with hers made her loose her common sense as she stares at her hand holding yours.

"Hold on me tight Hanni, you might get lost."

Hanni didn't hear you as you pushed through the wave of people gently shielding Hanni from the tight crowd. It was quite a Challange but you managed to arrive at the ticket booth with no problem as Hanni was still ecstatic with her hand holding yours.

"What Movie are we watching Hanni?"

"I luv yu..."

"Hmm? I don't think there's a movie called like that though."

You looked over at the category of the words that Hanni said but for the girl, she was blushing madly because of embarrassment. Her mind just suddenly process her initial thought and it came out of her mouth. She was glad that you were slow to realize it or even better, you didn't realize it at all. Which in turn, saddened Hanni partially but she brushed that thought off anf held your hand even tighter as she pointed at the movie she wanted.

"I want to watch that Oppa."

"Hmm? John Wick?"

"Yup."

"It's rated SPG and I don't think your height is.."

"Do you wanna die Oppa?"

Hanni looked at you with a deadpan expression which you couldn't help but laugh a little and press her cheeks. Both of you widen your eyes after the action that you just did. Hanni blushed as she eyed you while you slowly pulled away your hand from her cheeks.

"Why... Why is my heart racing? God no.."

A slight blush appeared on your face as you eyed Hanni who was staring at you with a shock yet calm expression. You didn't even think of doing the act as you just instinctively touched her cheeks like it was the most natural thing to do. You gulped hard and looked away.

"Sorry Hanni..."

You were now completely ashamed of yourself. Once again, you fucked up a great friendship because of your usual self. For sure right now that Hanni hated you-

"I... Kinda like it Oppa.."

You quickly look back and saw Hanni smiling at you with the most brightest smile you have ever seen in your life. Hearing the assurance out of her voice and that sweet smile somewhat calmed your nerves down. Something about this girl was making you intrigue of your own self.

You bought two tickets for the movie and when you thought Hanni wouldn't supriseyou anymore, she surprised you again when she was so emerced on the movie even cursing out the bad guys. You couldn't help but laugh at her. This kind of behavior was once you had but had dissappeared so seeing Hanni act like you used to was a sight to see. But the thing that suprised you the most is that, this kind of behavior was what you hate the most especially when watching movies but for some odd reason. Seeing Hanni act like that somehow made you appriciate people like that.

"The movie was great! Isn't it Oppa? John wick is really badass! He went Woosh and then he picked up his gun and went Bang Bang to those losers."

Hanni was hyped up after seeing the movie as she mimicked the character on the movie and even did some impressions of him. You simply smiled at her cute antics as the two of you were walking at the mall hoping to find a restaurant to eat and luckily for you, your favorite restaurant was opened as you and Hanni took a seat and ordered your food.

"Say Oppa, what kind work do you do? A teacher?"

You chuckled and shook your head. Hanni had been so far the only person that has put a smile on your face. Your life has been boring yet in just a span of a week, Hanni has turned that frown into a smile that can't seem to be erased. Her presence alone made you smile unconsciously.

"No, I work at an office Hanni. You know the typical guy who works on his computer all day. Boring isn't?"

"Nope, that's sounds fun actually. Did you try folding a paper and making it into a paper plane? It's fun seeing them fly in the office. Or better yet, did you shoot a crumple paper on the trash bin and shot it saying Kobeee like that?"

Her eyes was sparkling upon saying her ideas and you couldn't even talk. It sounded like basic ideas yet when Hanni says it, it sounded like it was legit fun.

"Well, I didn't do any of that..."

"Well now you can try.. Hold on, I think I have an idea."

Hanni grabbed the tissues on the table and began to fold them in a particular manner as you sighed and saw the paper plane or tissue plane if you would call it.

"Alright Oppa, See the trash bin there?"

"Yeah."

"If I shoot this and it landed on that thing. You need to double my order. Deal?"

"What? Why would I-"

"Hmm? Is Y/N-Oppa scared? Hmm??"

Hanni taunted you giving you a smug look which you just playfully scoffed and shook your head.

"Go ahead. Try it."

"Heh, Don't underestimate me. For my name is Pham Hanni, Watch."

Hanni closed her left eye as she focus her sight on the trash bin. Her face looked so focused and her hands felt relaxed. She was confident on herself and it was preety obvious for you that Hanni was a skilled person. You gulped silently as your wallet couldn't afford another order of the foods here. With a deep breath, her hand moved forwards as the tissue plane went floating in the air twirling in some degree. The plane was getting closer to the target and this made you nervous. Sweat began to form on your forehead as your heart began to beat louder.

But at the last minute, the plane instead entered the Restaurant kitchen making Hanni bit her lips in embarrassment and you slowly looking at her. When Hanni met your eyes, both erupted in laughter making everyone in the rest a look at you weirdly. You apologized for the sudden outburst but Hanni didn't, she didn't care about there stares unless it was a woman staring at you lovingly then it's a different story.

"See? It's fun isn't it Oppa?"

"Yeah, I guess your right."

Hanni, a highschooler was able to make a simple thing fun without doing anything extra at all. Her creative imagination gave life to such simple thing and you were already captivated by it.

Lunch was fun once again with the help of Hanni and this was one of the few times where you enjoyed lunch with a companion. You were used to having lunch alone at the company building that it has grown accustomed to you that eating alone was normal but Hanni, showed you that having someone to eat with is more fun. The sun was already setting and Hanni decided to head into the park to relax her feet.

"Ahh, Did you know Oppa that this place is my comfort zone?"

"Well I just know now."

"Whenever I feel down or really tired, I go here and unwind my mind because it just relaxes me."

"I see..."

A place where you can fully unwind and remove all the thoughts away and just relax. That was one place you hoped to find soon but as of the moment there was no place close to something like that.

"Do you have a comfort zone Oppa?"

You shook your head at her question but at the same time this question struck you. You have never thought this question before because your comfort zone has always been your home but that disappeared. Home wasn't longer a comfort zone but rather a toxic environment now. It was suffocating you whenever you thought of how much it changed for the worst.

"Honesty speaking Hanni, my comfort zone before turned to a toxic one."

"Oh, I'm sorry..."

Hanni felt ashamed for saying such question as she scolded herself but you could only shook your head.

"It's alright. The reason I teared up on your home was because I was reminded of how my life before was before all shit went down.."

You sighed as Hanni saw the distress on your face. Today has been a blast lately and seeing how you looked sadden by the past made her feel sad a little too. Today isn't just for her to have fun as well, this was also your day to relax so she immediately came up with an Idea. A simple yet effective way to get that heavy feeling off your chest. She was hesitant to grab your hand again but she slapped herself on her thoughts because you needed her right now.

"Man up... Err I mean Go grab her hand Hanni! This is your chance!"

She told herself as she took a deep breath and gently grabbed your hand surprising you in the process. There was a visble blush on her face as she drags you to a nearby bench. You just let her be as you noticed how small her hands are compared to yours.

"Cute... Wait. What am I saying? She's literally a kid! I need to touch grass..."

Both sat down and infront of them was the park fountain and they stayed quiet for a few seconds observing their sorroundings. Hanni didn't let her hand go as she only made it tighter.

"You know Oppa, sometimes you just need to let those go of your chest and talk to someone about it. I'm all ears and I won't judge you at all. Like what Mom said to me, she saw you being so strong for so long that she pitied you when you broke down crying."

You softly chuckled as this was an embarrassment for you.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, I kinda feel bad though when I saw you crying. It...kinda made me sad seeing you cry."

You saw the sincerity on her eyes and you can tell that Hanni really cared for you. Even though it was just a few days ago that you two met, it felt like Hanni knew you for a long time now.

"Heh, well my family life was like yours. All smiles and laughter. I though that it would last like that until I grow old but it didn't. Dad was caught having an affair with another woman and they filed for divorce. Dad moved out along with his stuff and you thought it wouldn't get worse but it did...."

Hanni noticed how your hands began to quiver and your eyes began to look broken and empty. Hanni couldn't bear seeing you in such state but she has to keep herself under control or she might do something she could regret.

"Mom was diagnosed with brain tumor that she kept from us, from me ever since I was young and I had to take part time Jobs for moms recovery but guess what? She died on the day of my graduation and instead of me celebrating my degree, I cried alone and mourned my mother's death. Ever since then, the word comfort zone became nothing for me as shit just keeps getting worse for me since then. Heh, I'm pathetic aren't I? I live the worst life of them all but it is what it is. "

Hanni hated how you smiled after saying those words. She hated how you were saying to yourself that everything was okay when it's not. She hates that you have been lying to yourself to show how strong you are but in reality, your weak. She hates that you have been so much and nobody was there for you.

"Hanni, listen we should-"

She shut you up when she pulled you closer to her and hugged you tightly. She could hear your heartbeat which seems to relax her but the thing that surprised you, was how much you felt at ease with Hanni being this close to you. That warm and comforting embrace that you longed to have was now presented to you. You couldn't help but feel a little emotional with how Hanni hugs you.

"Oppa, everything will be okay from now on. You don't have to carry everything on your own. I'm here with you now."

You bit your lips not wanting to cry but Hanni's embrace was just too much for you. You ended up sobbing quietly with Hanni comforting you by your side.

Your date was finally over as both of you were now walking the hallways of your apartment. You stopped at her front door as Hanni smiled happily at you.

"I had fun with you today Oppa, I hope you did too."

"Honestly speaking Hanni, I did. It's been so long since I last had fun like this."

This sentence made Hanni giggle in delight as she achieved what she needed to achieve this day.

"So shall we go on a date again Oppa?"

You chuckled at her wording but nodded your head nonetheless.

"I wouldn't call it date Hanni, but sure. I don't mind going out with you again."

Hanni jumped in delight as she hugged you tightly again. You were surprised at first but patted her head in response. You didn't know that Hanni was such a clingy person after all but that only adds to her charms. Hanni was about to pull away when a wild idea came to her mind. A small smile appeared on her face when she looked up to you. You weren't gonna lie, seeing her look up to you was adorable and it slightly made you blush.

"Oppa, do you pack your lunch?"

"Ummm no, I usually eat at the cafeteria."

"Eww the cafeteria. No, that's disgusting."

"What do you mea-"

Hanni placed a finger on your mouth shutting you up as she smiled at you.

"From here on out, I'll make you lunch boxes so that you don't have to eat in that filthy piece of shit cafeteria. Bleh!"

You wanted to refuse but Hanni was quicker than you as she pulled away and said goodnight before entering her house. You were just stunned by how Hanni dictate her decisions towards you as you just chuckled and shook your head in amusement. Hanni was the first girl you met that was actually fun to be with.

"I'm sure she would eventually forget about the lunch box thing."

Like the famous quote "Teenagers scare the living shit out of me" says, Hanni did in fact kept her word and gave you lunch boxes everyday to work. Initially you wanted to refuse her offer but seeing the band-aids around her hand on that day, it made you realize that Hanni was very genuine in making you a lunch box. Of course this would worry you and checking her hand if it was okay and all that but Hanni would just blush and nod her head. She was quite the stubborn yet smart girl because she would ask you out for another hangout.

Even though Hanni insist it was a date, you keep the word Hang out to not mistaken their relationship. After all, You were a 22 year old adult and Hanni is an 18 year old high schooler. Society would immediately hound you to death knowing your dating a minor. Your so called Hang out ranges from Cinema dates, Dinner date, amusement park date, or sometimes, staying at your place blasting music and dancing together. But the more Hanni do this kind of stuff to you, the more you see Hanni in a different light.

The way she worries about you when you go to overtime, the way she messages you everytime you arrive home, the way she would invite herself to your apartment room when there's nothing to do, the way she took care of you when you got sick, and more importantly, the way she argued back with your boss when you were clearly unable to work. That memory will forever be stuck with you because instead of getting fired, you were instead given more time of rest as your effort at your job boar fruit. Hanni was extremely ashamed for herself that day but you instead hugged her and twirled her around thanking her.

That was the day Hanni finally saw the old handsome smile she fell in love with in the first place.

Everything she does towards you was bringing you that joy and fun that you solely lack in life. She was bringing back that light that you lost back then.

Hanni was slowly becoming your Miss Sunshine and it's quite concerning for you. Hanni was a good person both as a person and at heart. So for you to have such feelings for her was surely not appropriate. In fact, you are clearly seen as a big brother towards her more than anything. But this also seems to have cause a stir at your work place and that's the lunch boxes.

You see, everyone in your workplace have been seeing you eat alone and getting your food at the counter but ever since you brought Hanni's lunchbox, everyone has been curious on who's been giving you such food.

"Hey Y/N, nice lunch box."

"Ah, T-Thank you."

"So did you made it?"

"Ah no, Someone else did."

That immediately cause them to gasp in a surprising manner which confused the hell out of you.

"Y-You have a girlfriend?"

"Ah, No she's a friend of mine."

"But she makes you lunch boxes everyday?"

"Yeah"

"Bro, You're so lucky because if a girl made lunch for you everyday then they are wife material. Marry her and don't let her go!"

Those words have been sitting on your thoughts for some time now and everytime you would see Hanni smiling and getting close to you, it made you realize that the girl that once glared at you and harshly gave you food, was making you fall for her.

It sounded so wrong for you to be having feelings on a girl who's so much younger than you and that's the confusing part. You suddenly began to act differently towards Hanni to which she noticed immediately. Everytime she would get close to you, you would move away. When she messages you, you just simply say a one liner and tell her good night. You were pushing her away from your life because deep down you know, you know that you don't deserve her.

Of course your actions pains Hanni because she felt like she might have pushed herself towards you too much. Her worst fear was slowly creeping up on her and she didn't like that one bit. She decided to take a step back on her plans and go back to her roots. Her first steps. Surely that would help her right?

Your alarm clock rang once again indicating your normal boring day to start. You got out of your bed and checked your phone but to your surprise, Hanni hasn't even read your message last night. You sighed and messaged her a simple Good morning and did you normal morning routine. You turned on the morning news hoping to hear something good happening at the economy as you wear your usual work outfit.

"Huh? So today's afternoon forecast is rain huh?"

You looked out your window and saw that the sun was already hiding and dark clouds were ruling over the sky.

"More like morning will rain."

You turned your TV off and wore your shoes before getting out of your apartment. Hanni hasn't still read your messages which slowly made you worried. This was the longest Hanni has left you on read and surprisingly, outside of your apartment was her Mother.

"Oh, Mrs. Pham good morning."

You bowed at her but you notice the sad and empty look she gave you. You sense something bad had happened and your heart was starting to beat faster as this could mean something related to Hanni.

"Y/N. Have you seen Hanni?"

There goes your bad feeling. Cold sweats began to form on your forehead as you tried to keep yourself calm.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Pham but I thought she went home last night"

"She didn't.. I tried calling her multiple times but she's not answering and... I feel like this is our fault as parents for her running away."

You wide your eyes. Your ears was not deceiving you at all because you heard it loud and clear. Hanni ran away from home and hasn't contacted anyone since. You were slowly on the verge of panicking but you remained calm as there could be a place for her to be in.

"Did you try to contact anyone from her friends Mrs. Pham?"

"I did. I called Minji and she has no idea that Hanni ran away. I... I don't know where my baby could be..."

Mrs. Pham suddenly began to sob her eyes out as you pulled out your handkerchief and gave it to her. You rubbed her back hoping to calm her down because you know how much a mother loves her children to their deaths. But there was something that still lingered on your mind.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Pham for asking but you said earlier about something about your fault as a parent for letting Hanni ran away? Hanni never once told me any problem she was facing but this is the first time I heard of this."

You might be nosy right now but you couldn't let anything happen to Hanni right now. Your sunshine was missing and it was your turn to return the favor she has done for you turning your life upside down for the better.

"Well you see me and my husband-"

"Why is everything falling on me so hard? What did I do to deserve this?"

Hanni thought to herself as she hugged her knees close to her. For the past few days, everything has been shity for her. School hasn't been to kind with her as her marks was slowly falling behind because of her family issues. Her parents have been constantly getting into fights lately due to her father wanting to prioritize their financial status by moving away once again. But her mother didn't want any of that money if it means making Hanni sad.

Both didn't end up in a good deal and in their fight ended up in hot claims of divorce. Hanni couldn't take such possibility as she didn't want to lose any of her parents. She had loved them so much and for her to be the reason why they would be divorcing, it was stabbing her heart.

Add in the slow fall of her relationship with you as you were clearly trying to push her away. Her once sanctuary in you was slowly disappearing right infront of her eyes. Add all this and Hanni couldn't handle it anymore as she decided that it was better off to run away from her problems, to run away from all worries and just be free.

"Mom.. Dad, I'll miss you surely.."

A tear escaped her eyes as she was set to a new goal for herself and for the better of everyone. Surely she wasn't gonna be missed by anyone if she just dissappeared from everyone.

"Oppa, I'll miss you..."

This time, her emotions was slowly getting the best of her and it didn't help that rain was slowly falling down on her. Her walls began to show crack as she recalls the moments she felt so love whenever she was with you. The memories both of you shared flashed on her mind making her realize that she had so much fun being with you. The way her heart relaxes even now just by thinking of you shows how much you impacted her life positively.

The rain suddenly got harsher yet she stayed there, on the bench getting soaked not minding the rain at all. Her body began to shiver from the cold harsh rain and she could feel her feet and hands getting stiff from the rain.

"Maybe this is better.... Dying from the cold..."

She closed her eyes and accepted her faith. There was no hope for her to fix the problem because she is the problem after all.

"Goodbye Minji, I really appriciate you being my friend because I'm such a loser. Thank you so much for giving me such fun and memorable memories."

"Goodbye Mom, Dad. I know that Dad was just thinking about all of us but guess what? I'm a stubborn child after all and weak one too. I couldn't handle seeing you fight because of me and I hope the two of you will be happy after all this."

"Oppa, I'm sorry for being too clingy towards you. I must have been a creep towards you huh? I'm sorry for acting like a spoiled annoying bitch towards you. I'm sorry for bothering you all this time. I'm sorry for all the mistake I did for you, all the pain and confusion I did towards you. I'm sorry.…I truly am sorry because I.... Love you Oppa and…goodbye... "

"HANNI!!!"

You finally spotted her as you sprinted towards her faster than anyone as your adrenaline pumped to the max. You immediately covered Hanni from the rain and saw her shivering from the cold rain. She slowly opened her eyes and even though they were quite Blurry she will never forget the face of the person she loved.

"O.... Oppa..."

"Don't say anything. We're going to the hospital okay?"

You immediately removed your large jacket and coated Hanni with it. Her eyes was now slowly getting a good vision of you as notice how she looked so tired and broken. This made your heart crack as you held her cheeks warmly making Hanni love your touch. It was comforting and warm.

"Now hold on Hanni. I'm gonna carry you."

"W-What?"

Her weak voice made you more inspired as you carried her in a princess like manner as you held the umbrella on one hand while carrying her as well. By some godly strength, you carried Hanni so fast to the hospital in less than 5 minutes as upon arriving there, you called out doctors and nurses immediately. You didn't care if everyone was looking at you. A doctor and some nurses then came to your aid as you gently placed Hanni on a hospital bed.

They proceeded to do their medical stuff as you anxiously wait for the result on the waiting room. Obviously, you were the only soaked person in there as you would attract some eyes but you didn't care. All your mind could process is that Hanni will be alright and nothing bad will happen. Upon hearing that Hanni ran away, a place immediately landed on your though as you hurriedly made your way to the park where Hanni told you was her comfort zone.

Not long afterwards, the doctor would come out as you stand up hoping for the best.

"How's she doc?"

"She's fine. She's in a stable condition now but if she was 5 minutes late, she could be in critical condition because of hypothermia."

You sighed out a breath of relief as you wanted to thank the man from above.

"We're moving the patient to a private room. We just need a signature from her parents or her legal Guardian."

"I'm that person Doc. I'm......"

"You're?"

You gulped as you were afraid to say this word but at a time like this, there was no other way.

"I'm her boyfriend Doc."

"Ugh where.... Where am I? Why is the ceiling so... White?"

Hanni spoke as she was looking around her new surroundings. This was very new to her as she tried to sit up but immediately noticed the tube injected to her left hand.

"I'm at a hospital? What happened? Hmm?"

Hanni noticed a hand holding her right hand tightly as the person was slowly waking up. Hanni widen her eyes seeing you look up at her. You immediately widen your eyes as you hugged her tightly surprising her. Her heart immediately began to face faster and her cheeks getting warmer.

"O-Oppa? Why.. Why are you here?"

"Thank God you're already awake Hanni. I was so worried sick you know."

This sentence only made Hanni blush even more as she could feel herself melting at your embrace. You finally pulled away from her as you checked her temperature on her neck and forehead. Your small gesture of checking up on her reminded her of when she took care of you when you were sick.

"O-Oppa I though.. I thought you hated me. But you saved me... Again. Just like last time.."

You softly gave her a warm smile and patted her head. You finally realize what those words meant as her mother finally told you the first time you met Hanni.

"Yeah, I finally remembered the 8 year old kid I saved from the pedestrian lane before. I didn't know she grew up so beautiful."

Hanni widen her eyes and gave you a look of shock. There was no way that you finally remembered her after all as her facial expression made you laugh whole heartedly.

"Yah, if you know then why did you kept quiet all this time?"

She pouted her cheeks at you cutely as you couldn't help but cup her cheeks on your hand making her blush furiously.

"I only figured out after your mother told me. Speaking off your mother, Your parents are kinda dissapointed at you."

Hanni lowered her head in shame as she knows that what she did was something she can't apologize for. It was an impulsive decision for her and she has nobody to blame but herself.

"But, I talked to your parents about their issues and told me that the whole divorce thing was just said because of the heat of the argument. There was really no reason for the two of them to separate."

This made the small girl smile happily as she was glad that the issue of her parents was solved. But there was still one problem that lingered on her mind.

"Oppa, I have to apologize to you."

This made you confused as you removed your hand on her cheeks. She played with her fingers as a blush was evident on her cheeks and she couldn't properly look at you in the eye.

"I.. I'm sorry for being too clingy towards you. It must have felt a little awkward with me, a high schooler getting all comfortable with an adult and-"

"Okay Hanni, Stop and listen to what I'm about to say."

You looked at Hanni in a serious expression as Hanni's heart beat was so loud and warm sweats began to form on her forehead. Your intense stare was making Hanni weak.

"I need to apologize for trying to push you away cause you see, I may have put myself in a pickled situation."

This time, Hanni notice a red stain appearing on your cheeks as her heart began to beat faster. Is her dream fantasy finally becoming a reality?

"Ever since you arrived to my life, everything has been so bright and positive with me. Like I feel like the traces of my old self dissappeared because of you. You ,Pham Hanni changed my life for the better in just a couple of months. Nobody has given me this much joy and fun in my life since I was a high schooler and because of that, I'm so forever thankful of you. "

Hanni could only nod at your words as you know the following words that will come out of your mouth is not from the brain but from the heart. With one deep breath you continued.

"Hanni, during those months of fun and enjoyment with you is something that will never be replaced and because of that I...might have caught something like.. Ummm you see I eventually-Argh! fuck it."

You couldn't properly say it but with one strong motivation, you said the words you wanted to say with your heart.

"I love you Hanni."

Now Hanni's mind blew out as she couldn't believe what she just heard. Eight letters and 3 words, it was finally said by her first love towards her as this took a while to process but when she finally realized what she heard. She couldn't hide the happiness that her heart was beating.

"So you see, I plan to tell your parents that I love you-"

You were silenced when Hanni pulled your collar closer to her face as your lips touches hers. Her small peach flavored lips gave you an euphoric sensation that elevated your body to the top. Her lips locking with yours felt like you finally found the missing piece to your puzzle. She pulled away giggling and smiling sweetly at you.

"Oppa-No, Y/N, I love you too. Your my first love hehehe~"

Now that was a surprise but nonetheless you smiled back and cupped her cheeks and kissing her forehead.

"So you have been in love with me for 10 years?"

"Yeah, I do. I sounded desperate huh?"

"No, no you're not. That just adds to your charm."

"Hehehe, Anything to make you love me~"

The two of you shared another kiss but this time, the two were now fully aware that they loved each other and their hearts belonged to each other.

Even though that failed flower fell to the ground, it can become a foundation to bloom a better, stronger tree for flowers to bloom themselves. There is no failure in life, there is only bumps that we need to overcome in order to proceed to the next step. And sometimes, we need our own miss sunshine to guide us.

#pham hanni #NEW JEANS #kpop fanfic #fluff #fanfiction #kpop #hanni x reader

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