#i want to wrap her up in a blanket

[antaripirate]

actual photo of drunk lila ‼️

[cherryblossomchronicles]

The revelation of Seok-Ryu's past was a gut-wrenching blow.

Going from the high of deciding to spend the rest of your life with your partner to realizing you might not even have the time for that must have been devastating for her. But then choosing to not tell your best friend about it, your family? It would have totally crushed her to go through all of that alone and put a strong front for them.

“It’s okay Seok-Ryu, it’s not a big deal.

I’ll get better. I’ll tell them after I get better.

It’s not a big deal, its nothing.”

As an elder daughter, Seok-Ryu had internalized the societal expectation that she should be the pillar of strength for her family. This pressure to always be "okay" had become so ingrained in her that she felt compelled to hide her struggles. Her reassurances to herself that "it's not a big deal" were a desperate attempt to maintain a facade of normalcy.

This is such a consistent thing with elder daughters in a family. We must have it all planned, we must be able to solve everything, survive anything that we prefer to tell anyone about our problems when we have already solved them. This habit becomes so ingrained in us that we stop telling people even about the things that we should.

“I’m going to worry about a recurrence next year and the year after that.

Even if I remain in complete remission for five years, I won’t be completely free.

I’ll always be near death’s door. I am going to feel a little anxious and sad.

That’s how my life’s going to be.”

This is the life of a cancer survivor. Even if you’ve risen triumphant from the battle, war is not yet done – rather your entire life is now a war. You can’t rest it easy. Stress, anxiety and fear will constantly dog your steps and make a home in your routine. This is what Seok-Ryu’s reality look like with her mental health taking a steep nosedive due to her physical health. She had to let go of so many aspects of her life to deal with her new reality. All this while she was also dealing with her slowly crumbling relationship with Hyeon-Jun.

When she could finally let go of that threads tying her back to the toxic part of her life and decided to come home, she realized there is another battle that she must face – lying to everyone she loves day-in and day-out. And she did, pretended that everything is fine, that things didn’t work out for her, that she had burnout – that she came back due to workplace harassment. Everything was acceptable but the truth. That little nugget was something that no one could know about. For all the problems, scorns and disappointment that she had to face and go through, the reality of the hellscape her life turned to was known only to her and she was happy in that escape. Even if she had to pretend, make herself sick, avoid the situations and deny herself the things she wants, if she could believe that everything is back to normal for few moments – all of it would be worth it.

“That’s why I don’t need love anymore.

The stomach I have left can barely handle digesting my dream.”

In all this, one thing that made me immensely sad was her decision that she and her situation is the problem. What happened with Hyeon-Jun made her think that no relationship would be able to survive the stress that comes as a complimentary gift of being with her. And she? She swore off it. Everything is acceptable in her books, everything, but ruining her friendship with Choisseung.

She knows he likes her, she also remembered that she liked him first, in their past but she would rather be selfish and keep Seung-Hyo in her life as her friend. At least with it comes a guarantee that even if he gets angry, mad or furious with her, it’s all temporary. That their friendship is made of sterner stuff to crumble under this pressure. She can’t say the same about relationship and repeating the slow death of a relationship like the way she experienced is the last thing she wants to do. Especially when the person in question is someone, she holds very dear.

Having decided upon the truth about being with her, she went ahead to turn him down as gently as she could, crushing any hope while also trying to preserve as much of their friendship as she could.

Seok-Ryu wants. She wants to be happy. She wants to not have to worry. She wants to cook for a living. She wants to see her parents happy. She wants to see Seung-Hyo successful. But more than that – she wants to keep seeing that smile on his face and she knows being with her is the fastest way to lose it.

[ghost-proofbaby]

rereading the last chapter of 'so mordor it is' for the first time in a hot minute and i just-

Eddie purses his lips, “I mean- Okay, yeah, that’s shitty or whatever. But I get it. I get why he’s doing it.”  “Because he’s a dick? Because he’s always been an asshole looking for a reason to pick on you? Like I said, it’s not excusable, Edd-”  “Because if I lost you how he lost Chrissy, I’d do far worse.”  Willow pauses with her mouth wide open, taking in just how deadly serious he looks at this moment. He’s not even cracking up in the slightest at her insults at the jock who had contributed to being a thorn in their side this past year, focusing on her and only her.  “No,” Willow says slowly, “You wouldn’t. You’re a good person with common sense.”  “Not when it comes to you,” Eddie rebuttals, “Not when it comes to you getting hurt. If you- If you had- If it had been your body found-” he chokes up, unable to continue the thought without taking a breath, “I’d also have a vendetta out for the prime suspect. Hell, I’d have it out for every possible suspect. Willow, if I lost you, I’d do far worse than some petty rallying against the town’s freak. I’d burn this town down for you.”

what the hell is wrong with me

[howtotrainyouragents]

Me, like I'm sitting at a cafe in a French philosophical film: Luffy, he kisses the homies good night, you know? He cuddles the bros to sleep

[isa-belle1367]

Thinking about my assassins creed oc again😭

[swordmaid]

playing around with the romance scene mod and shri'iia's braid laying on her hip ............omfg............ok rapunzel...............!!!!!!!

[thedreadvampy]

it's been a strange arc so far

when I was 19-21 and having an extremely imbalanced relationship with someone in their mid 30s I was like 'we are both adults so the fact that this is fucking me up is my fault'

when I hit my late 20s and saw how young people in their late teens and early 20s seem now I was like 'oh wait I was so fucking young I didn't know shit about my own limits or about managing relationships and I don't know why someone in their mid to late 30s would be into that except for nefarious purposes'

the weird bit is now I'm into my 30s - not even that far into my 30s - and while I still wholeheartedly believe that last thing about how young (and self destructive) 20 year olds are, I'm also kind of like 'huh, actually nobody I know that age has their shit remotely together and frankly the reason this fucked me up is because NEITHER of us knew what the fuck we were doing it how to cope, for different reasons and at different life stages, and there probably wasn't any malice or intent to control as much as there was Blind Flailing.'

[kaerinio]

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐝?

𝐘𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖

yellow, a study in wildfires, honeycombs, and summer rain. everyone sees you smiling and laughing, happy in all the ways but the way that you know is true to you. everyone believes that nothing bad could happen to you, that you live life so freely that you'd never miss a beat, even if something bad DID happen to happen around or to you. but you're as miserable as the rest of them. you might be warm and gentle, when you need to be, but at the end of the day, you have long since accepted that fire is like you: best to be admired but never touched.

tagged by: @nightstriumphtagging: @messanique ; @homebehind ; @mysfated/@khrused ; @wornkindness

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Wabtabda :D

HERRRRRRR IT'S MY BABY IT'S MY GIRL THE WOMAN EVER!!!!!!! <33333333

[iwasbored777]

She looks so tiny here no baby don't cry 😭😭😭

[dgraymen]

ough

[minniepetals]

my thought process going into writing cmar every time: am i in the mood? do i want to cry or do i wanna stay happy and stress free?

[melonisopod]

Well shit. Now I need to write a fanfic based on the Case Files event because Mnemosyne works so well for my AU.

[vonlipvig]

yet another fictional woman has bewitched me body and soul

[lacefuneral]

cooper and laura as a pairing: wrong. gross. that's a child and an adult. i hope you burst into flames.

cooper and laura as a father-and-daughter duo: correct. poignant. sweet. i hope you find a $20 bill on the ground.

[birlwrites]

what's your opinion on regulus/lily? i love them, but i honestly don't like the fics because they often make snape not a bad person, but i digress. i tend to read the fanfic because if you don't get pro-snape things, you don't get anything at all with that ship.

(or, what about, for fun, regulus/lily/evan)

i think regulus/lily can be very cool, AS LONG AS it doesn't turn into 'dramione but make it marauders.' (this is actually a caveat i have with a lot of marauders' era ships - that the potential is there, but the dynamic is often just like it is in a popular golden trio era ship. i'm down for a LOT of ships as long as the characters and dynamics don't feel recycled)

i think if i were to write a regulus/lily fic, it would probably be grounded in the war, because i feel like they need very high stakes to really push them together (see ttdl LMAO) - unless they're in the same house or year or something like that where they naturally run across each other a lot

like (and this is just off the top of my head - if someone wants to take this premise and run with it, go ahead! i already have far too many wips afjlshgskdf), this would be my go-to:

due to various scheduling issues, regulus and lily are assigned to do prefect rounds together (a combination that would normally NEVER fly because they try not to put muggleborns and People With Close Personal Ties To Death Eaters on patrol together)

lily goes into it hackles up, in the direct wake of sirius's disownment, expecting the worst from regulus black

regulus goes into it mildly curious about this lily evans who he has only ever heard about in the context of a) snape or b) potter, but honestly he's preoccupied with Sirius Angst and Family Pressure Angst and lots of things like that

slow burn the fuck out of it. regulus will probably be the one who has to actually break the ice because just b/c lily is no longer expecting him to blow up at her for blood purity reasons it doesn't mean she expects him to be worth befriending

bond over being younger siblings with very complicated relationships with their older siblings

become close friends (and here you get the joys of the secret relationship trope before a romantic relationship even develops, because War and also Sirius)

(side note - much character work for sirius would be necessary to make sure he's not just Regulus's Shouty Dramatic Brother)

and then i don't know where it would go from there but i do really like the idea of them working together in the war. either as an 'they're on their own side' thing or as a 'infiltrated both sides, using them for their own agenda' thing. like let them have a safehouse that lily has stocked with hand grenades, that's my vision

regulus/lily/evan would be A HOT MESS (in a fun way afjslghskdjf i just mean i'm laughing thinking about it) - triple the complicated relationships with older siblings. evan 'flirting is my middle name' rosier vs regulus 'pine until i either have to confess my undying love or fake my death' black vs lily 'historically people have just fallen all over themselves to ask me out and i don't actually know how to demonstrate interest in someone' evans. lots of lighthearted bickering. lily introducing regulus and evan to modern muggle technological marvels (disco ball). they have 'study dates' which are actually just lily and regulus studying and evan being distracting. they have a black and white cat named oreo (evan thinks this is the most original cat name ever). regulus is tormented constantly by lily and evan attempting to invent new household charms whenever the mood strikes. he and oreo often retreat to the library (spare bedroom full of books and one (1) disco ball) for safety. lily has a secret diary in which she keeps track of Definitely Totally Very Real Muggle Inventions that regulus and evan don't know she lied about yet. they have GREAT photo albums