#i want to. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA eat him

[phantomdecibel]

Hnnnngggg,,,, au where Polites lives and they just makes it home to Ithaca safe and sound and they’re all just happy forever . What then huh .

Also it’s nice that like….. Euerylochus doesn’t feel like an idiot . I said this very thing with Odysseus in remember them but…. it feels reasonable that Eury wouldn’t trust something Odysseus got from the gods and looks into it . It feels reasonable that he eats the clearly sacred cows given that in this retelling they haven’t been told they’re sacred nor that they’ll make it home if they don’t eat it . And he’s starving .

(But also . Just need to give a HEAAAVY shout out to this comment for opening my eyes . Also . I just really like this take:

)

Anyways conclusion:

I am kissing Eurylochus on the forehead . I’m literally hugging him wrapping him in a warm blanket . I’m bringing him hot cocoa .

head in hands where the hell is my emotional support flower au. oh wait I have to write that myself–

YEAH LIKE LOOK AT HIM GO THATS!! MY BOY!!!! SOLE OWNER OF THEIR INLY BRAINCELL RIGHT TGERE! also it was the same with the going to the island of the wind god – that was the whole theme of luck runs out. we’ve seen what happens when we meddle with gods; we absolutely should not keep doing that. and they didn’t even know that the storm was piseidons doing at that point! ofc he didn’t want to risk seeking divine aid and the price it would cost to deal w a normal ass storm. and yeah they’re starving! it’s eat or die! they were fucking doomed either goddamn way! AND he was clearly soooooooo beating himself up over opening that goddamn bag. like. like aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa–

(and fucking OW they kept ody alive. they kept him alive and brought him with them. even after he betrayed them and they betrayed him, they refused to abandon him. too bad he couldn’t return the favour.)

(staring at the comment ough. oooough)

GOD YES SAME. HE FUCKING DESERVES IT. HE DESERVED BETTER (do NOT get me wrong I love the way he was written and his story felt like there was no other way it could have gone in this situation I’m sobbing but not complaining. mostly)

Also the call and response in scylla. brilliant. the emotion in their voices. the delivery of motherfucking “you’re quiet today” “nothing much to say”

[quijabored]

GUESS WHO READ THE NEXT CHAPTERS OF BSD!! WHAT THE FUCK :D !! IVE GOTTEN TO CHAPTER 115, KEEP SEEING 116 IS COMING OUT ON JULY 3RD SO IM WAITING FOR THAT I GUESS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

FYODOR.

FYODOR WHAT THE FUCK.

"Yeah Im so happy hes dead, top 5 favorite character but yeah no Im so glad hes gone."

***WHAT DO YOU MEAN HIS ABILITY ALLOWS HIM TO JUST COME BACK????***

AAAAAAAAA?????

I sat there thinking. I sat there and I was like "yeah no way bros making it"

HOW??????

IM DONE WITH HIM OH MY GOD

I love Fyodor so much he makes me so happy BUT HE SHOULDVE STAYED DEAD

WELL GET TO SIGMA IN A SECOND CUZ I NEED TO TALK ABOUT HIM BUT

ALSO FYODOR BEING LIKE "Yeah I gotta take care of you :)" TO AYA LIKE STOP NO PLEASE JUST GIVE HER HER DAD BACK

WAAAAAAAAAAA PLEASE HE PROMISED AND HE- WAAAAAAAAAAAA

I HATE FYODOR SO MUCH OH MY GOD

I love him so much oh my god-

AYA LOOKS SO TERRIFIED AND UPSET PLEASE

PLEASE JUST LET BRAM COME BACK PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-

ALSO FUKUCHI IS INFACT DEAD YES, IM GOING TO START VIOLENTLY SOBBING

Fukuzawa looks so upset oh my god I hate Fyodor so much not to my other other other father bro

ALSO IS TERUKO JUST FUCKING DEAD??? PLEASE TELL ME SHE ISNT??? MY DAUGHTER??? SHE WAS SO SAD AND THEN SHE WAS HAPPY WHEN SHE SAW FUKUCHI AND STARTED SMILING AND AND AND-

AAAAGGHHH HER BACKSTORY MAKES ME SO NOT YIIPPEE :((((

WAIT SO IS FYODOR LITTERALLY IMMORTAL??? SO HE JUST CANT DIE???

SO HOW ARE THEY GONNA DEFEAT HIM???

Is this gonna be like the immortal snail plans except the snail is super smart and has probably planned everything out?

Like could they just put him into a block of cement and feed him so he doesn't die???

OH GOD WHAT ABOUT NIKOLAI

HES ALL UPSET AND SAD BRING MY SON TO HIS HUSBAND I NEED TO SEE THEM REUNITE

Oh god Nikolais screwed he is NOT making it out of this series alive is he...

Cuz Fyodor was like "you tried to kill me so Im gonna kill you"

I WANT FYOLAI TO HAVE AT LEAST A DECENT ENDING I DONT WANT NIKOLAI TO JUST DIE

Also Ranpo being my absolute goat??? Like he's able to figure all of this out even if just a little too late??? I love my son and all of my children????

ALSO FUKUZAWA SHIELDING TERUKO FROM THE LIGHT PLEASE I AM SOBBING

OKAY BACK TO SIGMA

MY POOR SON

FIRST HES GETTING DROPPED 17 TIMES??? NOW HES HAVING TO GO LIKE "Oh god" SEVERAL TIMES BECAUSE FYODORS JUST....

THE HUH????

Wait do you think Fyodor can kill himself and he wouldn't come back since there's no one to blame or do you think he'd just come back

WAIT HOLD ON IF SIGMAS SEEING HIS MEMORIES HOW LONG IS HE GONNA BE THERE??

Bro I don't mind if the world explodes and everyone somehow manages to keep everything together, JUST LET SIGMA JOIN THE ADA

ASAGIRI DONT YOU DARE KILL HIM OFF I WILL EAT YOUR LAWN GRASS

SAME THING WITH AKUTAGAWA SO-

WAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THIS SERIES SO MUCHHHHH

Also Dazai rolling around when hes thinking is so real, I do it a lot

Now time to buy all the manga (I can buy the first 3 rn, BUT I SWEAR ILL GET MY HANDS ON ALL OF THEM SOMEHOW)

"How dare he look so babygirl after killing someone"

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY OH MY GOD I LOVE HIS FACIAL RANGE ITS SO SILLY BUT CAN YOU MAYBE JUST... WAAAAAAAAAAAA I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I WANT FROM HIM IM SO GLAD HES ALIVE BUT HE NEEDS TO STAY DEAD OH MY GODDDD

[lorei-writes]

Okay! Not sending this in the "I want you to write it way" unless you actually want to but more in the "I just have to share this because it's taking up too much brain space" kind of way.

Okay, so, Napoleon centred crack oneshot (extremely self indulgent so don't mind that) where mc takes all of the residents to Egypt for whatever reason because plot convenience and does not want Napoelon to come along because Egypt campaign and everything and, after a lot of bribery and a few tears and one mc because weak to puppy dog eyes, is convinced to let him come along under the condition that he needs to not fall out of a Tok tok (a three wheeled vehicle we have in Egypt that goes really fast because the drivers don't care about the speed limit) going as fast as possible around a roundabout (I do not recommend, I could not feel my legs for a solid few hours after doing this very same thing) and it's all just filled with a lot of screaming, a surprisingly proud mc because Napoleon isn't weak and would probably manage because he isn't an idiot (mostly) and ends with a weird kind of fluff where mc treats him to crepes and nice Egyptian desserts ✨

I promise that this makes sense in my head

Anyways, take care of yourself and remember to drink water and eat actual foods 💜✨

I hope you are aware that it's been almost TWO DAMN YEARS, but. But. I said I would. SO I FUCKING WILL.

Enter at your own risk.

Napoleon Gen Fic Crack

Content Warnings: none

Thoughts: also none

"No!" Mitsuki roars, quite unamused by the entire situation. Suitcases have been packed, Arthur has -- somewhat successfully -- managed to condition himself to deal better with sun (ah, those Englishmen and their sulky weather -- they do fry fast!), Sebastian has prepared a bathtub-worth of soothing lotion. Everything neatly in order, everything ready for them to depart. However, one obstacle remains. And he was not Bon a(bout) part(e)ing.

"No!" Mitsuki roars, quite unamused by the entire situation. Suitcases have been packed, Arthur has -- somewhat successfully -- managed to condition himself to deal better with sun (ah, those Englishmen and their sulky weather -- they do fry fast!), Sebastian has prepared a bathtub-worth of soothing lotion. Everything neatly in order, everything ready for them to depart.

However, one obstacle remains. And he was not Bon a(bout) part(e)ing.

"Mitsuki, I promise, I'll be good."

"EGYPT CAMPAIGN, 'LEON. EGYPT. CAMPAIGN."

"And Syria," Napoleon mutters, fiddling with his thumbs.

"Did you say anything?" she presses, positively ready to bite. (Reverse vampirism, if you will; or perhaps rabies -- that much is still unclear; vampire-transferred rabies?).

"I don't want to be --"

"You don't want to be?!"

"HOME ALONE!"

Oh, there it is again! And he is not even aware of all the risk of the potential thieves, and the seasonal-hallmark-movie-bestowed duty of having to meticulously set up ever-increasingly-ridiculous traps! What is there to complain about?!

Mitsuki groans.

Mitsuki gasps.

Mitsuki grabs her own head in her very own hands, and tears at her hair. At this rate, she'll either go white or bald. "FINE," she shouts. "COMTE. CREDIT CARD."

"... Ma cherie?"

"CASH."

"... Why?" Not that he is not ready to spoil her at any time, but now, this is a little abrupt.

"I need a toktok, a roundabout, an Egyptian driver, cushioned walls, and a glue trap. ON YESTERDAY."

Leonardo covers his mouth.

***

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [redacted] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [insert more "AAA"]AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [some more "AAAAA", don't be shy]AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[now in bold too]AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[give Napoleon a wave!] AaaaAAAaaaaAAaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaAAAaaaAAAAA!," Napoleon shouts. Nevertheless, he bravely, heroically even clings to his seat. He can't feel his feet -- no, scratch that, his entire legs -- and his hands. For all he knows, his fingers may be bleeding. Or sweating. Both profusely. The experience is nothing like anything he has ever experienced before. Not even the attempted invasion on Russia.(Arguably because of the seasonal mismatch, but this poor narrator does not have enough credibility to judge that much).

And there he is. Victorious, at last.

Napoleon falls face-first into dust. Comte did not have enough time to introduce asphalt roads to XIX century France. (The construction crews were all booked until the end of July). He lifts his gaze, Mitsuki staring down at him with stern eyes.

"You pass," she sniffs, a singular crystal-clear and mountain-spring-cool tear rolling down from the corner of her eye. "Come now, we shall dine."

"Mitsuki?" Napoleon asks.

"Crepes first, 'Leon. The dessert comes last," Arthur shouts from below one hundred layers of sunscreen. Very well. If the ghost of the mansion says so, that must be the law.

--

Tag List: @cilokgoang @violettduchess @pathogenic @fang-and-feather @kissmetwicekissmedeadly @tele86

I'd say I'm sorry, but I don't enjoy lying.

[kykyonthemoon]

Hello! This is my first time requesting so if there is something wrong please let me know! So here's my request:

Prompt 5 of 'unrequited love but it turns out to be requited'

With Scaramouche <3

I almost forgot this request, I am sorry uwu And since anon-chan did not state a specific ship, I shall go with Scaramouche x Reader one :>

Comforting

— Paring: Scaramouche/ Wanderer x Reader

— Tags: short, fluff, light angst

— Summary: Scaramouche arguing with and then comforting you in his own way.

— Word count: 779

———————————————–

— Masterlist

— Ao3

— Hoyolab

———————————————–

“I didn’t mean to fall for you.” Scaramouche grumbled.

"And neither did I." You reacted in a similarly bitter tone.

"Excuse me? Do you dare to say it again?"

Scaramouche and you were arguing over insignificant things. You two had always been like that from the first time you met. You didn't understand why he and you could be lovers at all.

"You heard it," you exasperatedly say. "What made me fall in love with you? You're arrogant, you never confess when you're wrong, and you always disregard others, even my feelings!"

"Is that how you really see me?"

Scaramouche arched his brow. He seemed uneasy, as if he had been smacked across the face. And you had only just poked the hive. Every other time you were the one to ignore him, because you were so aware of his unlikable temper. Today, though, was different. It was time to make things clear with Scaramouche.

"That's right."

Everything in front of you became blurry, your nose began to burn, and you struggled to prevent your voice from trembling. You were not a crybaby; you just wanted to frighten Scaramouche so he would be gentle with you. And yet, somehow, you started crying for real.

"You always say hurtful things to people and never apologize! I honestly don't know how I've put up with you for so long..."

Scaramouche was taken aback. He froze, and his face turned unpleasant. After about a minute of reframing the situation, he stated:

"If you find me that unbearable, I'll leave."

You were not given time to react when you saw Scaramouche launch into the sky and disappeared. 

"Eh?..."

You were so taken aback and perplexed by his actions that your tears had all dried up. You could never expect comfort from Scaramouche, not one bit.

So, you were upset all day. You were not in the mood to do commissions either. All the monsters you encountered on the road seemed to avoid you, shivering behind the bushes at the sight of the deadly aura radiating from you.

You arrived home in the evening in a condition of intense exhaustion and rage. You wanted to punch something so bad, then you heard the front door open. Without much thought, you rushed out there with a punch.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

A hand stretched in front of you deflected your strike. It was Scaramouche. In his other hand, he was carrying a small basket of food.

"Are you still upset with me?" He inquired nonchalantly.

"Of course!" You yelled.

"I suppose so, too. Therefore, I prepared something for you."

Distracted by the scent of his cuisine, you followed Scaramouche inside. He set the food on the table for you.

"This is my special dish, Shimi Chazuke." 

"Is this your gesture of reconciliation with me?"

Scaramouche said nothing further but encouraged you to eat quickly. His eyes appeared to be remorseful. With your chopsticks, you took a bit of rice. The bitter flavor of tea blended with the sweetness of rice in your tongue. Perhaps Scaramouche, like this Shimi Chazuke, might be both irritating and endearing.

After the meal, you felt less angry with him. Scaramouche, on the other hand, had yet to apologize. He just inquired:

"Delicious?"

"Delicious." You nodded.

"After you've finished eating, wash the dishes yourself."

You locked your gaze on Scaramouche. He appeared to be apologizing to you, but something was not quite right. You stated:

"Didn't you prepare this to make peace with me?"

"That's correct. You've finished it all, which means you're out of anger with me."

You drew your arms over your chest:

"When did I say I wasn't mad at you any longer? You even make me do the dishes now!"

Scaramouche looked down at the empty bowl without a grain of rice, then back at you.

"How come you've eaten so well?"

When Scaramouche was just about to say something that threatened to ignite another fight between you and him, your eyes immediately began to shed tears.

For a single second, his eyes indicated concern. Then he went back to his regular arrogant demeanor.

"Alright then." He said, "Since you're a crybaby, Y/N, I'm going to wash the dishes today."

He got up, packed everything, and went into the kitchen. You fixed your gaze on his back. It was the first time you felt you had prevailed over Scaramouche.

"Oh, wait!" You dashed into the kitchen and said, "You haven't apologized to me yet!"

Scaramouche pretended not to hear you. It was true that he would never confess being wrong, but the fact that he was willing to cook to comfort you was  a significant step forward.

-The end-

[xhfics]

🎱🎱 your favourite emogi is back!!

This is more just a random thought of mine, but I needed to share how much I want to kick my feet cause of Seungmin. Since that live they did where Seungmin got so excited about going to eat after (when he kept repeating 'food' and almost started to jump sitting on the couch and everyone looked at him) I can't stop thinking about how adorable he was, it was legit one of the cuttest things ever.

You know when someone is so cute that you want to squish the shit out of them? Like cute aggression? That's exactly what I wanted to do😭.

He got embarrassed after, and I could only think about how hard I wanted to squish his cheeks and tell them he was the fucking cuttest man ever but like aggressively???? Idk he makes me act stupid 😭😭 I love when you can tell he's just so happy or excited he's not even thinking about what he's doing AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Oh I feel you anon!! I really like it when he's so very excited and happy and hyped that his brain just starts malfunctioning 🤭 he's like 'head empty no thoughts just food' you know!! I fully support that. And I fully support squishing his cheeks together and telling him how cute he is and how much we love him😭 Genuinely crying whenever I think about him ngl

[a-bucket-of-trash]

Hi Bucky (i hope you find that nickname appropriate =D),

it's my first time sending anyone on this platform a message, so if you think I'm overstepping a line, please tell me.

I wanted to say again that I adore your content and as a fellow Kelvin-lover, which is a really neiche thing, I think, wanted to thank you for your service (implied salute) at ginving us readers the opportunity to dive deeper into that charakter. I didn't even played the Game yet, because of some money issus, but he did wiggled into my heart nontheless.

I would like to pick up the topic "female receving oral" again. So, I couldn't sleep that well tonight, because my brain would NOT shut up about that thought...:

You and Kelvin laying in bed (either in a cabin on the island or at home) in the spoon position (Kel being the big spoon) and he wakes you up by rubbing his boner against your ass, but he is still asleep (probably having a naughty dream about you). You, getting hornyer and hornyer, decided to put it in. You carefully pull down your and his pants to not wake him up and his dick naturally slides in, elicting a rather loud moan from you, but he's not waking up. The sex is rather painful, not because it hurts, but because it's slow. Kelvin fastens his pace after some time and wakes up just seconds before he cums. He looks at you horrified about what happend. (Now your talent is demanded, because i dont really know how to resolve this situation. If you decide to give this thought a go and let it happen on the island it's obviusly dubcon, in my opinion. Maybe you could give it some backstory, where they fall in love or something [I'm so creative...] or you could let it as is and just let the reader give him a kiss or touch of some sorts and he agrees with the following.) You gently lead his head between your thighs, where his cum is leaking out of (I think is FUCKING hot, when men lick you clean, but if it's not your thing, please skip it). He starts to kiss your thighs, delicatly kneading the flesh at your hips and stomach and finally gives you what you need the most. (We agree that he is big softie, so I think he goes slow and takes his time with every bodypart of yours.) It's hard for you to focus, so you accidentally squeeze your thighs around his head little to much and panic about his wellbeeing but he doesn't stop for a second, just looking into your eyes, while eating you out.

I think that's it. I hope you like it and i hope you could make a coherent story out of it.

English isn't my fist language, so please excuse any mistakes.

Have a really nice day!!!

With that ask and kind words, you can call me Bucky or you can call me tonight to dinner omg wtf you are too sweet! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Overstep on me please owo

I totally agree that is a SO SMALL community of Kelvin Fans, like I think we know each other by now XD

Happy to offer my service, my General!

I didn't play neither * cry in poor * but I play in my imagination lmao

I will pick all that idea and I will smash it in my notes because YES ALL THAT YES, 1000% YES YOU GIVE ME EVEN EXTRA IDEAS BECAUSE I WAS A LITTLE LOST THANK YOU!

Your english is better than mine, don't worry Bean!

Thank you again and have a lovely day with Kelvin in your pants head ♥ 3 ♥

[ruvviks]

for all three of the main boyes: 3, 50, 56 :)

THAMK YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i am going to be so mean to them. just wait

3) how would they fare in a zombie apocalypse?

mikhail would do very well and then die because he sacrifices himself for one of his friends :/ girl that was unnecessary there's at least five different ways you could've prevented that from happening

50) do they have any insecurities?

mikhail absolutely has insecurities and most of them revolve around the worry of not being good enough for others. he often worries about if he's doing his job well enough or not and can get very insecure about his own skillset as a result :( it helps that his friends constantly reassure him that he's doing great, even when he's not even really doing anything <3

56) what do they smell like?

i refuse to answer this in 2013 wattpad smell combo style so Vibes are going to have to do LMFAO mikhail smells Warm :] kinda like laundry that's fresh out of the dryer or a warm and sunny spring morning :]

3) how would they fare in a zombie apocalypse?

patient zero 😔✌️

50) do they have any insecurities?

vincent has a lot of insecurities surrounding his appearance and identity :( at the start of the story (around the time he meets jackie and then everyone else) he still gets misgendered regularly and that takes quite a toll on him, but this is something that goes away during the story and his self-confidence grows a lot because of it. he still feels a bit :// about it sometimes but this is generally easily fixed by bringing it up to vitali who will then not stop giving him attention until he feels better <3 meaning of "attention" is up to your own interpretation <3

56) what do they smell like?

was gonna say "vincent smells like axe deodorant lol" as a joke but. at least during the in-game events he most definitely Does most of the time SGFDHGDHFGJ not in a "cis man who thinks one can of axe deodorant is the equivalent of a shower" way but in a "trans guy who showers daily and then puts on a normal amount of deodorant" way <3

he switches to a less heavy deodorant later and then he smells a lot sweeter :D occasionally with a hint of vitali's cologne because. well. you know

3) how would they fare in a zombie apocalypse?

hides a bite from the rest of the group he's with out of sheer stubbornness and gets at least three other people killed because of it. no i'm not pulling my punches today

50) do they have any insecurities?

vitali has many insecurities, probably more than vincent and mikhail combined but he's being very brave about it and you wouldn't be able to tell easily even if you know him for a very long time already. he doesn't like to open up about his worries and insecurities mainly because he doesn't want to be a bother to others and would rather let it eat him alive than inconvenience someone else with it :(

most of his insecurities revolve around the fact he always felt like he was lacking in one way or another despite working so hard and this comes back in everything he does and says. he is always doing the most for his mercenaries (best fixer in night city istg) but still often worries it's not enough ;-; shaking him

56) what do they smell like?

vitali is the only one who gets the 2013 wattpad smell combo treatment. vanilla and a very nice not too strong cologne in like the Best possible way. this is a bit vague because well what kind of cologne. i don't know i'm not an expert. but he smells amazing ok just trust me on this

oc asks!

[glimmerobscura]

moving in w my bf has made being feeling healthy and in control of my meals impossible... he wants to eat together all the time and if i have a big/late lunch (aka the only meal i can eat in peace) and decide im not hungry around dinnertime, he acts like im going to die...

sometimes i dont want a bigass pasta, beef, potato type dinner!!! sometimes i want to eat vegetables and tofu and rice!! but he doesnt want it so i have to make the other kind and eat it with him or else he thinks im gonna starve AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

GODDD i miss eating whatever and whenever i want:'(

[kpopisthereasonihavenolife]

When you wanna write a feral!vampire!tae fic going uber fuckin’ soft/domestic for human y/n bc he loves her to bits and pieces, but you can’t afford to write anything new bc work is starting to kick your ass (bc yours stuck in the middle of every damn thing and your now almost in a leadership position you do NOT want) and the last thing you need is anOTHER wip

[elsecrytt]

ELSEY YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS TO ME

Elsey listen it's 2 am i need to sleep but your addition to that Dia post KEEPING ME AWAKE

How does it feel to have such a big brain huh? You're amazing please keep ranting about whatever because i will eat this shit up

Oh, also you dropped this 👑

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA thank youuuuuu~ It's so sweet that you enjoy my Takes sfgkhhfgd and it's super encouraging to know that you get something out of them, hehe,,, it's always just.

So fun to see ppl who get similar vibes from the characters, sharing their own views and reasons for that,,, it's lovely to hear from you and Erin, and I'm glad y'all like hearing from me, too~

I've had this whole. Theory of Diavolo post floating in my head for ages but I haven't gotten around to it until now bc it requires a lot of. Screenshot editing,,,,

Now Presenting:

Diavolo - Truth and Lies

Spoilers for:

The Escorts (Memory SR, Chapter M, Luci and Satan on it) Devilgram

The Glory Days (Lucifer Chapter A UR) Devilgram

Main story up through Lesson 16

So basically:

Diavolo has the ability to tell lies - this is confirmed in several places in canon.

My personal headcanon/theory is that this isn't Diavolo being a people person (although he probably is, to some extent). This isn't even a special ability Diavolo has, either as a demon, or as a future Demon King.

I think this is a curse. Specifically, I think this is a curse that Diavolo asked a witch to place on him, and the caveat of this curse is that Diavolo cannot tell a lie.

It's totally possible there are instances of this being blown out of the water in canon but Diavolo is usually pretty diplomatic in his denials and avoids telling direct lies so just stay with me for a moment. I HAVE SCREENSHOTS!!

The first question of course is. "Who would have put a curse like this on him, Elsey? He's the Demon Prince. He's ridiculously powerful, what kind of witch could even do that? Even Solomon might not be able to."

We do know a witch who might have done it! A witch who would have been powerful enough, and who has a pretty interesting relationship with Diavolo: Maddi!

Maddi is acknowledged, by Satan, Lucifer, and Diavolo, to be extremely powerful. Literally Lucifer is going "When someone radiates power like she did..." Lucifer!

The really interesting bit is later on - that Maddi refused to return to the human world until Dia married her, and it was really long ago.

It sounds like, in return for casting this curse on Dia, Maddi wanted his hand in marriage. It'd explain both her entitlement, and the reason Diavolo had a hard time turning her down - because she did him a favor!

And also why Diavolo is pimping out Satan and Lucifer not to see her again lmaoooo. This, I daresay, is why Diavolo doesn't like her - it's not necessarily a reasonable request she's making, but she also did something for him that literally no one else could have done.

Plus she's supposedly smoking hot and if she likes Luci and Satan, her taste in men is absolutely fine. Listen Diavolo I'll take one for the team and marry her myself -

Anyways. Second point here - this happened "a really long time ago". This is a point in favor of my theory, because Diavolo has been asserting that he is honest/never lies for a very long time indeed:

This is a MEGA long time ago - before Lucifer fell from heaven, even.

Now ofc Diavolo doesn't outright say it's a curse (and I doubt this theory is something the devs intended), but it does sound like Diavolo is leaning on the "honest" thing pretty heavily, no?

(Bonus points: In his recently-released character songs, one of Diavolo's lines is actually - "I have nothing to hide/I am always honest")

Consider also the fact that if this is true, it goes a good way to explain how Diavolo is getting along with Lucifer so well, and pressing the point of peace even though Lucifer quite clearly looks down on demons as an archangel.

See, Lucifer actually tells a couple of blatant lies during this visit:

If Diavolo has this ability to know for certain when someone is lying, then he knows Lucifer doesn't hate him/the Devildom as much as he said (and Lucifer's dad hung him out to dry on the speech thing lmaooo)

Now, on to what I consider the most damning piece of evidence - we have the actual statement in Lesson 4 during Levi's TSL quiz, that Diavolo can tell when someone is lying

Diavolo was brought in to judge this event, too - almost certainly because he has this ability. "You know as well as I do" - this is something all the brothers, and possibly the demon populace as a whole, know about Diavolo.

Levi later does concede that he lost; he believes Diavolo's ability, and implicitly, believes that Diavolo isn't lying about it. But canonically, this is our confirmation that Diavolo can tell when someone is lying, possibly as some supernatural "ability".

The real proof comes in lesson 16. Belphie, at this point, absolutely despises both humankind - and naturally, the suggestion that Lilith became human - and Diavolo. That's important. He HATES Diavolo and Diavolo's ideas.

If you chose to tell him "I'm sorry you found out this way", he goes on to mope a bit until his brothers encourage him.

But what if you choose to say "You really won't believe it?"

Belphie insists he won't believe it. He could never believe it. And honestly this makes a lot of sense, and feels like the natural reaction he'd have to such an unforeseen revalation.

And then Diavolo says "It's the truth". Diavolo, who Belphie hates. What reason does Belphegor possible have to -

Aaaaaand he believes him. Just like that. Now, I'm gonna be real, I'm not super impressed with how the writers handled this plot twist, especially in light of the aftermath. HOWEVER.

It's still fucking weird that Belphie just accepts Diavolo's word so easily, accepts the entire story and spins right into repentance and blaming himself for Lilith's death...

...unless. Diavolo is magically incapable of lying. Perhaps because he's been cursed?

The brothers all know about Maddi (it's in the escorts mission). They very probably would all know why Diavolo doesn't get along with her, but still has to accommodate her when she visits. It would make sense for Belphie to know about this, actually.

Annnnnyyways that's my favorite pet Diavolo theory that's been rattling around in my head for a while. It's by no means canon or confirmed (canon seems to forget about Diavolo's ability to tell when someone is lying on the regular, anyways), but my god, is it interesting.

Diavolo being a living lie detector and unable to lie makes him an invaluable plot device, a useful tool to a resourceful enough MC, and even as cursed as the theory suggests, if you remember a little oneshot I wrote called "Heartache".

It is just. hnnng. Absolutely delicious. I love the idea so much and wish there were more of it in canon... but hey. That's what fics are for ;)

[superjumpintomyheart]

I like the idea of Deep Cut crashing in the Squid Sisters’ apartment wherever that is (and also Vice versa) frequently that it’s become normal

Frye, barging in Callie’s room: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Callie, not looking up from what she’s doing: Thinking about shiver?

Frye, now face planted on the floor: a (yes)

here are some more completely accurate and real interactions between deep cut and the squid sisters:

Big Man wraps anyone who is sleeping in his arms, all of the inklings/octoling have fallen asleep at once while he sits there with his fins around all of them like -3-

Frye frequently talks with Callie about her problems or feelings, she views Callie like a big sister (idk if i hc callie as older or younger than frye yet we'll see, also we need canon deep cut ages)

Marie stops by deep cut's apartment often to check up on them and make sure they're eating and taking care of themselves

Shiver will actually open up to Marie, they won't do it often with other people but they've found a type of comfort in her. the five of them all are pretty close

big man, callie, and frye make up the chaotic trio of them all

shiver and marie are the quiet tricksters

frye and callie have sleepovers a lot, even if the rest of deep cut isn't there or marie isn't with callie. basically they are besties i decided

big man likes to cook for others, marie and callie often are checking in on deep cut but big man is usually the one checking up on THEM and taking any opportunity to do something for them

Callie, "Hi big man! we're just done with agent work and now we're trying to figure out which one of us should make dinner cause we're so tired-"

"I will cook! I will cook! I can make stew, sushi, ramen, meat, whatever you want! I can make all of it, really!" big man excitedly waddles off to the kitchen and immediately starts meal prepping. there is no stopping him, he is making you a feast

callie likes to give big man pats on his head :) he enjoys them

shiver and marie love watching movies together late at night, sometimes they do self care things like face masks or manicures

that is where i will stop for now lol im a bit sleep deprived atm

[heyitsyn]

Prove Me Wrong

M!Reader x Oikawa

a/n: SDKLFJSLDKFJDLSKF OKAY I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST UPDATED BUT I REALLY INVESTED MY TIME INTO RESEARCHING AND READING FANFICS WITH AN M!READER BC I REALLY DIDNT WANNA GET IT WRONG SO I APOLOGIZE IF I DID SOMETHING WRONG AND I HOPE THIS ANON LIKES IT!!!

anon:

-heres an interesting thought. what about flamboyant oikawa with a cold boyfriend😳😳

YEYYY I FINALLY UPDATED

LETS GET STARTED SHALL WE?

okayokayokay

so in the request above

this is a m!reader

meaning you will be male in this one so hehe yep the story starts now

you are,,,

distant

and cold

but its mainly just because you were,,,

too tired to actually put in the effort of socializing

between bouncing between part-time jobs to care for your siblings and to schoolwork and book club

the mans can only do so much

so you spend most of your time in school just trying to catch up on sleep bc youre too busy studying up all night for exams since yanno

✨gRaDuaATiOn✨

unfortunately for you, your class had the famous manwhore oikawa tooru

why is that a bad thing?

well, imagine just trying to get some shut eye and suddenly, you just hear a bunch of screaming girls and it gets louder the closer the guy approaches your classroom and when he opens it,

the screams become 10x bass boosted

then imagine that with your sensitive hearing

now,,

it does bother you but it wouldnt bother you as much if he told them to leave

BUT NOOOOOO

he decides to let them in and chat with them and flatter them and continue with that bs until the bell rings

even then,

the girls in your class cant help but keep giggling at him and he always whispers in that obnoxious voice and youre just like two seconds away from ripping his tongue out

now

you dont hate him

you just genuinely dislike his way of living

and the way he talks

and the way he acts

yea see?

no hate

theres a difference

then there was that one time that you got so fed up with it that when oikawa settled on his seat and the fangirls circled him like some cult

they started talking to him all at once trying to get his attention

so it was a garbled mess of sounds and you growled, burying your face deeper in your arms because you would snap really really soon

then one girl shrieked when oikawa smiled at her and then you really just let go of all bearings

your chair made a squeak as you shot up, palms slamming against the wooden desk and your eyes glaring straight at them

‘go back to the farm, ya squealing pigs’

DSKFJLSDFKJSDFKDJS SORRY I LOVE TSUMU

this made everyone silent-even the others in the class just minding their own business

they all knew you as the quiet kid who didnt really talk much but those who did were really scared at you and the way you talked to them with such a cold and monotonous voice that they started spreading rumors about you

even absurd ones like your eyes are so cold bc youve killed so many people that you have no life and empathy left

LIKE WHAT THE HECK YOU STRUGGLED TO GET A SPIDER OUT OF YOUR SISTERS ROOM THE OTHER DAY LIKE EXCUSE YOU

but apparently they were just,,, so scared of you that when you finally got done with them and bursted out, the girls started crying

YALL KNOW THE SAYING LIKE HELL HAS STARTED WHEN THE QUIET KID SNAPS

the females run out of the room scared and the others nervously looks at you

your eyes sweeped through the room and each one of them flinched when you made eye contact with them

YES ASSERT OUR DOMINANCE M/N

the only who didnt was oikawa tooru himself

your eyes landed on him and he still had that stupid smug look on his stupidly gorgeous face and you wanted to ki-WAIT NO SLAP it off of him

‘the hell you looking at?’

you grumbled at him and he just merely shook his head with a smile

‘you remind me a chihuahua, m/n-chan. so cute when its angry’

‘HAH?!’

now it isnt a surprise to hear oikawa tooru say that to a boy bc wowza the school loves him so much that hes a bi icon in seijoh and hes such a king like who cares?

but they were surprised to see you turn red, the tips of your ears to the base of your neck were all flushed

‘see? so cute, right, everyone?’

KSDFJLSDKJFS

THE NERVE OF THIS MAN

the class didnt say anything except just put their heads down bc as much as they wanted to agree with oikawa at how suddenly hot you looked, they were too scared that you might plummet their faces to the ground

maybe thats when everyone started noticing you more

again, you were very quiet, you didnt talk much, you just sat there and listened so obviously you didnt really stand out but then that outburst made you more noticeable

you started seeing girls in your class staring at you then blush and look away abashedly

then the guys in your class started greeting you, even people in the hallways

ngl the attention you suddenly got was overwhelming

especially when oikawa seemed to call out to you all the time now

as you were walking down the stairs, hed see you and he’d shout and wave to you

‘m/n-chan! hiii!!!!’

his loud voice would make everyone turn and look at you and you dont do well with public attention so you turn red and you glare at him

‘shut the hell up, idiot. and dont call me by my first name. we’re not friends’

you turned to walk in the classroom but you looked at him again after taking a few steps

there he was

smiling and giggling with those girls

all he does is smile and giggle and shit

its so damn fake that you cant believe everyone fell for it and the worst thing is oikawa’s doing it to get everyone’s acceptance and validication

it was pathetic and disgusting

poor oikawa :(

now on to baby flatttykawa side,

he was kinda hurt by that

like how the heck are you not friends when youve been going to high school for 3 years?

sure, its only been casual greetings and him waving at you when yall made eye contact

but its still something, right?

right?

when you walked back into the classroom, tooru cant help but feel down at the declaration of the lack of friendship you had

his form slouched and his eyes trailed down but the voice of some girl brought him back to where he was and to fix his attitude

‘oikawa-san? are you okay?’

the others muttered in concern with her but they were eased when he raised a peace sign with the signature smile 

‘yep! all good!’

GOD I REALLY CANT STAND IT WHEN HE USES A FACADE TO EVERYONE BUT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BC HES SUCH A STRONG CHARACTER THAT DOESNT BREAK AND HES SO INSECURE AND IT PAINS ME SO MUCH THAT HE FEELS THE NEED TO HIDE BEHIND A MASK EVERYDAY AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

truth be told,

oikawa has always noticed you

not only do you work at the one bakery with his milk bread but you also work at the convenience store that the team sometimes visits

then he also noticed you picking up your brother from the volleyball practice that takeru’s part of and he cant help but frown at the eyebags under your eyes that he always sees

he lies awake at night just thinking how you would look without those eyebags, without the sickly looking complexion, or even just the lack of life in your eyes

then during class, you sat by the window

tooru knows this bc his eyes always fixes itself on you whenever he opens that door and he has to hold in the need to hug you when he sees you sleeping on your desk

others might call you lazy

others might call you a video game all nighter kid

but they dont notice the things you do

the nervous habits hes seen from you at the times that tooru couldnt help but stare

he knew it was creepy to do it

but you were so silent

you blended yourself into the background and you made sure to stay there 

thats why nobody knows anything about you

with good looks like yours and a smart brain (he knew this from mattsun and makki being your students), why exactly were you not known?

maybe thats why it drew you to him

all his life he chased, 

but now hes the one chasing?

tooru knows that your left eyebrow lifts when sensei writes something you dont understands

tooru knows that you like to do sudoku in the convenience store while you worked

tooru knows you eat the same meal during lunch every day from the same lunchbox

and he also knows that your brother talks so highly about you from takeru

the little things your brother brags about like your ability to cook f/f or your weird ability to just assemble something without looking at the instruction manual

he notices and knows all these things about you

things that people never really even bothered to 

oikawa didnt even know he liked you until iwaizumi pointed it out during lunch

the third years liked to go and eat at the rooftop where it was nice and windy

oikawa was sitting and leaned against the tall wire fence, his eyes fixated on you down below on the bench as you ate your lunch

then you accidentally loosened the chopsticks causing your food to slip off

that made oikawa giggle

he was chuckling and giggling that the others noticed him when he suddenly went quiet

‘oi, oikawa’

makki nudged him back to them and tooru flinched before smiling at them

‘hm? so you do notice me!’

iwa glared

‘idiot. of course we do. youre laughing over there like some damn schoolgirl. did one of your fangirls posses you or something? if not, cut it out. its ugly’

oikawa shot him an offended look

‘what?! iwa-chan so mean!’

mattsun took the liberty to peer over the edge to see what he was looking at and smirked

‘eh? were you looking at l/n-sensei?’

oikawa blushed, feeling like he just got caught doing something bad

‘and what about it? im looking at you too, right now, mattsun!’

makki cackled at oikawa’s poor attempt of reasoning

‘i mean, i dont blame you. if issei wasnt here, id definitely get with him’

SEDKLFJSDLFISDKFJ MATTSUHANA YALL :”)

oikawa’s eyes wandered back down to you and he noticed you put the bento box to the side before sneezing

‘gosh, even his sneeze is cute’

he mumbled then jolted when he heard his own words 

iwa sighed

‘what are we going to do with you, shittykawa?’

‘what?! what did i do?!’

iwa’s eyes scrunched and he scrutinized his best friend

‘boke. i feel bad for that kid, doesnt know this stupid idiot likes him’

so thats how oikawa came to terms of it

he thought he was just interested and fascinated with you but he really does like you

and to be honest, he doesnt really want you to know that bc duh, you dont like him so why bother?

baby oiks doesnt interact with you much anymore bc he knows you get uncomfy with attention but he still does look out for you and decides he should just admire from afar

he will live every day just holding his feelings in for you and one day they will disappear

but today just wasnt the day

maybe today was the start of the worst yet the best part of your life

last night was particularly rough as the convenience store you worked in had a drunk person who wanted to fight with you and your manager had to call the police and it was just a mess

to add on to it, midterms were around the corner-like next week- so you were studying up for that

but your sister got sick so you were also trying to take care of her and making sure her fever was going down and her crying ever few hours about her tummy ache didnt allow you to sleep

hehehe single parent working late tingz

ALSO SHE DOESNT HAVE MISS RONA JFC

so yep haha you did NOT get any sleep

so you walked into school that morning, looking tired as hell and mad as hell but you just wanted to sleep bro

the one kid you tutor, matsukawa issei, and his friend who usually tags along, hanamaki takahiro, noticed you dazedly pass them in the hallway and poor dudes felt bad for you

mattsun actually pays you to tutor him bc he knows you need the money while taka preferred to buy you snacks and drinks as compensation

so it was normal that he had an energy drink in his bag that he was going to give you tomorrow during your tutoring day

‘oi! l/n!’

your head perked up at the call of your name and you nodded in greeting at the light brown haired boy

‘hey’

you muttered and mattsun placed his hands on your shoulder to keep you upright

‘oi, l/n, you sure you want to be here? you can go home and we can tell them youre sick or some-’

but you waved your hand

‘nonono todays an important lecture so i cant miss it’

the two guys didnt look convinced but they respected your need to be in school since they too need to be in class for midterms

‘here. at least take this’

makki placed a drink on your hand and you nodded and gave them a small smile

‘thanks’

you mumbled before wandering off

once they saw you at a distance away, makki wrapped an arm around issei to get his attention

‘ya think we should tell oikawa to keep an eye on him? make sure he doesnt keel over and die or somethin?’

mattsun stopped before nodding

‘yea thats a good idea’

SKLFJLSDKJFD NOT MATTSUHANA BEING YOUR PARENTS

oikawa was already in class when you walked in and he cant help but tear his eyes away from the girls to you as you sluggishly walked to your seat

the drop of your bag and the thud of your head meeting the desk made him worried bc you looked worse than usual

his phone buzzed and he checked it to see a message from mattsun

‘keep an eye out for your boyfriend. mightve been working late last night and yanno how he is. just watch out if he faints or something’

okay that made him super worried

totally ignoring what mattsun called you, oikawa knew he needed to talk to you

but these fangirls were the first problem

he shut his phone off and looked up at them with a grin that made them madly blush

‘ladies, class is about to start. oikawa-senpai would hate for you to be marked. so study hard for me, okay?’

like hypnotized cult members, the girls ran to their classrooms and tooru finally had the opportunity to talk to you

he stood up and walked over to your seat

‘m/n-chan’

he called out, looking down at you

‘m/n-chan’

he tried again and was about to put a hand on your shoulder when your hand snatched it

‘dont touch me, oikawa’

you grumbled and tooru furrowed his eyebrows

‘m/n-chan, i just wanted to ask if youre okay’

he whined and you didnt bother to look up but just let go of his hand

‘i was until you came over, idiot’

ouch

tooru was thankful that the teacher came in then and there bc he didnt know how to respond to that

he wanted to brush it off but it hurt him a little

and he knows he shouldnt entertain his crush on you but he couldnt looking at you and watching as you got up to use the bathroom 

as class went on, oikawa was starting to worry

now again, hes no stalker bc his observation skills were just phenomenal due to volleyball

so he noticed that youve been in the bathroom for like 20 minutes now

DONT JUDGE US, OIKAWA. WE’RE JUST TRYING TO PUSH OUT THE BIG PIECE OF-

okay nevermind

anyways

tooru, worried that something happened, raised his hand to go and use the bathroom and the sensei wasnt exactly paying attention so he just let him go

thank god he has long legs bc he was able to reach the bathroom quick and he stifled a shriek when he saw your passed out form inside

‘M/N-CHAN!’

he yelled and he cursed when duh you were alone and who knows how long youve been there

and ew bathroom floors is bleh

you were in no way light but you werent exactly heavy either so he was able to muster up all his strength and hoisted you on his back

tooru’s heart thrummed in his chest and he knew it couldnt be that serious but he cant help but think of the worst

and yep

the nurse just told him that your heartbeat was okay and you were snoring so you mustve been exhausted by the dark circles in your eyes

‘keep an eye on him for me. i have to tend to midoriya over there. the kid broke his arm again and i dont know how’

she grumbled at the end but tooru didnt care as he sat on the chair next to your bed

he sighed before laying his head on the cot by your hand

his eyes settled on your face and how peaceful it looked

gosh, you really were so cute

your personality just sucked ass

constantly telling him to shut up and calling him idiot

hmph

not long after oikawa fell asleep, you woke up and cursed, immediately realizing you fainted and you missed class

as you were going to rub your eye, there was weight on your hand and you looked down to see a head full of brown hair that could only belong to a certain someone

a certain idiot

‘oi. oikawa, wake up’

you shook his head and when he didnt budge, you just pulled your hand from under him making him jump awake

at first, he was confused

looking around like a lost puppy and his eyes bleary

yea it was cute and what about it

then he noticed you sitting up and he smiled

‘you feeling better, m/n-chan?’

he asked, leaning close 

but you placed your hand on his face to push him away

‘yea. and stop leaning so close, idiot’

you grumbled and he whined

‘youre so mean, m/n-chan! i was so worried about you!’

he complained and you rolled your eyes

‘i didnt ask you to be, idiot’

SLDKFJSDLKFJKL M/N IS SO MEAN WHAT THE FAK

oikawa frowned

‘i cant help it. i like you, m/n-chan’

you froze, looking at him with scrunched eyebrows

then you chuckled dryly

‘yea, okay sure. im okay now so you can go to class’

wOW OIKAWA DESERVES BETTER WHAT

tooru was taken aback

‘wh-what? thats it? after i just told you that i liked you?’

you blinked at him

‘what do you want me to say about that, oikawa? how do you want me to react? im not like your fangirls, squealing and shit’

your words cut deep in him and oikawa held your arm

‘no wait a minute. what do you mean by that? do you not believe me?’

‘who the hell believes something that’s fake?’

there was a snip in your tone and oikawa knew you were talking about this facade of his

‘what? i-’

‘you think i believe you? you telling me you like me? do you even know who you are?’

you asked and tooru sniffled, eyes staring at your chest

‘for years, you told people what you wanted them to hear, regardless if you meant them or not. not once have you ever told them no. who the hell accepts chocolates when they dont even like them to begin with?’

at that last part, oikawa snapped up to meet your eyes

‘how did you know’

you rolled your eyes

‘our brothers are friends, idiot. he gave him some of the chocolates you gave to takeru since the brat couldnt eat them all’

oddly, that brought some warmth in tooru’s chest

so he wasnt the only one who knows the stupid stuff

but you continued on your rant

‘for a guy who doesnt like sweet stuff, youve accepted their nasty treats all the time, like why? oh, wait i know why, because you want them to like you. it doesnt matter if-if this-this persona of yours isnt real because as long as they like you, you dont give a fuck. isn’t that true? am i right? because please, prove me wrong’

maybe your dislike for him came out at that tangent and you half expected him to cry but you were surprised when he glared at you with teary eyes

‘i will. ill prove you wrong, m/n, that i do like you and i will make you like me. ill make you like me with the real me. i swear.’

‘mhm. okay. sure, oikawa’

do you regret it?

i mean,,,

kinda?

but not really?

because you loved watching the girls faces fall when oikawa rejected their treats the next day

you were walking to class when you noticed him with his cult by the entrance and you saw him smiling at some girl before gently pushing away a can of cookies

‘gomen. i actually dont like sweets that much anymore. if you want, you can give me milk bread?’

you stopped and oikawa caught your eye and he grinned

you nodded in greeting before continuing to walk

but he noticed a small smile on your face and gosh oikawa sighed like a lovesick fool

it took iwaizumi to finally send him back and his fangirls were looking at him worriedly

‘could you be less obvious, shittykawa?’

rip iwaizumi hajime in episode 546546546 of daily adventures of oikawa tooru

you noticed that oikawa has started to become distant with his fangirls and hes been sticking to you during lunch, leaving behind the others

makki and mattsun looked like proud parents as they peered down over to you flicking oikawa’s forehead and they smiled

‘god, that kid deserves this’

‘hah? that sounds like more of a punishment to me. but i dont care. it takes him off our hands for a while’

IWA I SWEAR HES SO MEAN BUT HE STILL WUVS TOORU SO ITS OKAY

oikawa would pick your brother up and take him home when youre too busy to go get him yourself and sometimes, he even takes your little sister too which causes them to have a mini sleepover and you sleep there too

also, whenever youre working in the convenience store, tooru would buy sandwhiches and a drink just for you so you can eat them while youre on break and not have to waste money and you told himyou dont want him spending money on you but he doesnt wanna hear it

‘i dont want you buying me-’

‘ssshhhh dont. im doing this because i want to and becaus i care for you, m/n-chan’

overtime, 

yea

sure

youve started to like him

youve started looking forward to seeing his stupidly cute face and his stupidly cute giggle

you went to his games and gave him a tight hug when hes about to play as a ritual for good luck and you would open your arms for him wide whenever he wins

then he didnt

against shiratorizawa, you noticed how he was so disappointed

even as you walked home with him, he continued to smile and tell you how good his team played

until you couldnt take it anymore

you pulled him over to some alleyway and you pushed him to the wall

DSKLFJLSDKFJLSDFJ WOW WHAT

oikawa nervously fiddled with his jacket and gave you a shaky smile

‘m/n-chan, what are you-’

‘tell me what youre feeling right here, right now. no bullshit, no lies, tell me everything in that pretty head of yours’

you deadpanned and tooru looked away

‘im fine’

‘are you lying to me, tooru?’

your voice was even but he could tell you were serious

he gulped before taking in a shakey breath

‘im fine. so stop asking about it!’

he exclaimed and you sighed

‘listen, i know its not official yet but you want me to be your boyfriend right?’

tooru flinched before he flushed at the word ‘boyfriend’ 

then he nodded

‘as your boyfriend, you have to lean on me, tooru. i dont want you to hold it to yourself because i wanna be there for you and i want to go through everything with you because i,,,,,’

you stopped and hesitated, debating if you should say it or not

‘because i like you, idiot’

you confessed and swallowed thickly

oikawa met your eye and his eyes watered

‘im so angry! im so disappointed! but i know my team did their 110 percent! we’re just not strong enough! so its not their fault! but ushijima is such a freak and hes too strong and its not fair!’

he complained and he cried loudly

not once in the 3 years of knowing oikawa have you seen him cry and you were so proud of him for being able to trust you enough to show him being vulnerable

you rushed forward held him close to your chest

‘for what it’s worth, you looked so incredibly hot and cute playing’

you whispered and pecked his neck 

of course oikawa couldnt hold his surprise at the feeling of your lips on his neck so he squealed a little

you gigled and continued holding your boyfriend close, even if it was at some nasty alleyway

yall became official and ngl, they didnt see this coming

some nobody dating the grand king oikawa tooru?

what in the wattpad?

yall know that tiktok of like ‘guys you cant dm me anymore. i have a girlfriend now. what else? and i love her’

IF YALL DONT KNOW IM SORRY

but you totally made oikawa tell his fangirls that

YOU KNOW THE FUNNY THING?

when yall became official, you actually gained your own little fanclub

maybe its because you gained clout from your boyfriend but they started noticing you and wowza you were hot

before, it was you getting jealous over tooru but now, it was him getting possessive of you

hes such a brat that he sits on your lap before class and youre just all smirking and feeling all good bc your baby is so cute when hes jealous

YOU CANT DISAGREE THAT HE DOESNT RADIATE UKE ENERGY

but all oiks has to do is pull down your collar and expose your purple littered collarbones and they will know who you belong to

theres a reason why iwa-chan is now the kids babysitter

youre still kinda cold and distant to people but youre soft for your baby and you always hold him close when hes in sight and you just cant get enough of him

:’)

also!! 

your sister loves dressing you up and oikawa has his sisters makeup and they both do your makeup and you guys have tea party with the boys and just the cutest domestic stuff

you still call him idiot though

but like affectionately yanno?

and over the years youve turned it down to dummy

and ngl tooru loves it when you call him that

what in the dumbification-

because he knows that equivalent to babe from you and he absolutely just loves you lmao

youre def the more quieter and calmer one in the relationship like you absolutely dont react much

while tooru is the overreactor and hes very animated with his facial expressions and stuff

like the one time

he was cooking some chicken pasta and you cheekily grabbed a piece of chicken and he made a dramatic gasp

‘*le gasp* oikawa m/n how dare steal a piece of chicken!’

you cackled before crossing your arms at the sight ofyour lover with his pursed lips and hands on his hips

‘excuse you. its more of you who’d take my last name’

it was so easy to make him flustered and tooru quickly turned around to tend back to the food but he was really just hiding his red face

‘b-baka. thats not going to happen’

‘not if i do it first’

you shrugged and smirked, wondering if he will fall for it

and as expected with oikawa tooru

‘yea okay sure’

‘i will!’

‘prove me wrong, m/n-chan~’

‘turn around right now’

oikawa rolled his eyes playfully before turning with a smile

‘what are you-*le gasp part 2*’

his hands covered his mouth at the sight of you there in front of him, kneeling on your knee tightly clutching a silver ring between your thumb and index finger

your heart was thrumming in your chest but you gulped and smiled

‘i win. now marry me, dummy’

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry if this sucked booty :((( but i just really like the thought of uke oikawa and just him with a cute boyfriend for a change like please we all know oikawa is a bi king and thats on docosahexaenoic acid

[vadergf]

GUYS I WAS EATING BREAKFAST AND WATCHING THIS VIDEO AND THE GUY IN IT WAS SO HOT AND I SAID I WANT HIM TO RAIL ME OUT LOUD AND MY PARENTS WERE IN THE ROOM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[ragdoll-darlin]

The adventures of the ferocious Matenrou.

Summary :  Matenrou go to an amusement park and have fun. Mostly.

Words : 2,906

Warnings : vomit mention, doppo typical ramblings + worries, getting a bit overheated , platonic or romantic - whichever you want.

A collab with @wolfm2540 , we switched every paragraph. 

“Hey hey, Doppo, look at that giant roller coaster!! Let’s get on that one first!!”

“It looks tall… what if we fell off… knowing me I’d probably break the ride somehow and we’d all fall and get hurt and it would be my fault like always……. I’m so useless….”

“Doppo-kun, you’re doing it again.”

Matenrou had just pulled into the Adventure Land parking lot. Jakurai parked the car while Doppo continued his self-deprecating ramblings. Hifumi was oblivious, staring at the rides and practically jumping up and down in his seat, which is probably why Jakurai wouldn’t let him ride shotgun.

Hifumi was practically bouncing as he waited for the doctor to unlock the car. He tumbled out, standing back up completely unbothered and running over to open Doppo’s door and drag him out, much to the other’s dismay. Jakurai slowly got out with a chuckle, searching his jean pockets for a hair tie; it was hot, and he didn’t want to get sweaty from his hair on his neck. “You two,” he called to his bickering teammates, who turned their heads so fast you could hear Doppo’s neck crack. “Get the sunscreen, We’re going to be out here for a while.”

They grabbed their backpacks and walked towards the entrance. Hifumi’s face lit up as he saw the sign. “Adventure Land, let’s go Doppo-chin!” His voice was as vibrant as the cartoonish letters. Doppo was still hunched over, his hands stuffed nervously in his hoodie pockets. Jakurai was somewhat concerned with the other’s choice of clothing, given that sweater weather was long over. He sighed and smiled as they entered the park. These two never ceased to amuse him.

Hifumi ran right after to the line for a roller coaster that had long since spilled out of its desired area and into the walkways, completely forgetting Jakurai telling them all to get sunscreen. Doppo looked to Jakurai with a mix of worry and pleading - whether it be “Can i go home?’ or ‘can i go on something else’, the doctor was unable to tell. Either way, it was clear the salaryman didn’t want to go on the towering road coaster. After looking over to Hifumi, though, clearly their chances of getting out of the ride were 0, as the host was bouncing around with a large grin on his face, not even bothering to check if the others were with him.

“Ummm, sensei…” Doppo looked concerned. “Do you really want to get on this thing?” Jakurai looked down at him and gave a sad smile, then patted his head. “I’ve never been on a rollercoaster before, though I'm more nervous than excited. But look at Hifumi. That silly grin of his makes it worth it, don’t you think?” Doppo looked at his friend, loud and boisterous as ever, and the concern on his face melted away when he saw how happy Hifumi was. “Yeah, you’re right, sensei.” The line moved forward.

Doppo felt himself shaking, though he tried to swallow his fear. It would be fun, or at least it was supposed to be.. But what if the ride broke? Then him and everyone would die and it would be entirely his fault. Doppo made a small noise in his throat and leaned onto hifumi, resting his chin on the host’s shoulder. Jakurai wasn’t having the best time either, he could feel his stomach lurching even though they hadn’t even been on the ride yet, and probably wouldn’t for another 10 minutes.

The line lurched forth, nothing in the trio’s demeanor changing very much. Finally, it was their turn to get on. Doppo looked ready to faint. Jakurai was trying his best to conceal his nervousness, but was obviously terrified. Hifumi was as oblivious as ever. “Hmmm, these seats only take two people. Sensei, do you mind if I ride with Doppo? That way he calms down a bit, hehe! Want him to have fun, too.” Jakurai’s eyes widened for a moment. “Um, that sounds fine, Hifumi-kun. I will ride alone.” They buckled into the seats. It was time.

Doppo shuddered as the announcer came on the loudspeakers, explaining the rules. Jakurai was frantically trying to tie his hair up into some form of bun so he doesn’t wack a poor soul behind him, and hifumi just watched the other rides, planning out where they would go next. Suddenly the ride lurched forward, and started its slow trek towards the top of the hill. Doppo grabbed onto hifumi’s arm, already biting back a screech.

“When is it gonna drop… when is it gonna drop? Hifumi! Is it gonna drop yet?” Hifumi just laughed. He looked way too excited. Doppo repeated his question (something of a mantra, at this point) as the ride kept climbing. There was one last click as the ride suddenly dropped.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

“...”

Doppo was dying. Literally dying. But it was somehow enjoyable? His stomach felt like it was dropping onto his feet, the wind was forcing his eyes shut, and his neck was whipping around violently. But it made him feel alive. Maybe that’s why Hifumi enjoys these rides so much...

Hifumi couldn’t keep himself from laughing. The thrill was a high he could never get tired of, flinging his hands in the air with an excited scream as the cart rushed down another hill, then a loop, bringing them upside down then right side up right after. Jakurai felt sick to his stomach, but he supposed that was intended to be part of the fun. Feeling adrenaline pulsing through his veins as everything moved far too fast, even he couldn't help from giving a laugh or startled noise.

Hifumi kept laughing. It was kind of scary, actually, given that nobody else on the ride was laughing like that. Oh well, he’s always been eccentric. The ride continued, more ups and downs and flips, until it finally reached the end. Jakurai had a headache. It wasn’t as bad as he expected but somehow still very unpleasant. Though he did feel a bit of the thrill that Hifumi must have been looking forward to. “Ha...haha. That was sort of fun.” Doppo’s hair was a mess of red and curls, thanks to the wind. There was a slight smile painting his face. Hifumi was somehow still laughing as they got off the ride and back onto the ground.

“Hey, doc! You can pick the next ride!” the older man almost sighed with relief, knowing if Hifumi had his pick they would certainly end up on something his stomach couldn’t handle. He hummed, eyes scanning all of the rides. “What about that one?” he points to a building with bright and cheerful letters spelling out “BUMPER CARS’ . Hifumi jumped up to get a clearer view, then nodded eagerly. “It looks fun!!!! C’mon, Doppo-chin!” Hifumi grabbed his roommate by the sleeve and started to drag him, with Jakurai in tow. On arrival, they noticed the line was incredibly long here as well, mostly consisting of children, save for some teenagers and adults holding the hands of young ones. ‘Ah.. have I picked a child’s ride?” Hifumi giggled, “yea, yeah, it's meant for children, but what does it matter!! It'll be tons of fun.” “The cars are too small.. We’re gonna get stuck.” Doppo pointed out grimly. “Nonsense!!!” Even with how loud the amusement park was, Hifumi’s loud voice turned some heads, but he didn’t mind at all.

Doppo was intimidated by all the children staring. Jakurai’s long hair and Hifumi’s personality didn’t help keep them out of the center of attention. He grabbed onto Hifumi’s shirt as they shuffled into the building. The ride operator simply stared at them. Jakurai tilted his head and asked “Is there a problem?” The poor teenager looked scared. These three eccentric individuals trying to enter his kiddy ride were scary. He shook his head vigorously and led them to the cars. “Hahaha, I’ll take this pink one! Which are you choosing Doppo-chin?” “Uhhhh…” “Choose the green one!” “Okay…” Jakurai was, perhaps, a bit embarrassed, but he was the one who chose the ride after all. He sighed and hopped into the most inconspicuous car, the grey one.

The small cars were beyond uncomfortable for somebody of his size, even hugging his knees to his chest didn’t keep the contraption from digging into him rather painfully, and people had taken to staring at him. The other two didn’t seem to mind, talking about something while they waited for the ride to begin. It did, and soon there were people blending together, laughing and screeching as they maneuvered the battle grounds. Jakurai recognized the laughter of Hifumi as his golden hair popped up above the other heads, heading straight for Jakurai, who sat unmoving, unable to reach the steering wheel due to his legs blocking the way. Hifumi hollered triumphantly as he hit the car, then yelped as Doppo rammed into him, looking determined. This continued until the ride ended, and the two younger remembers quickly left their cars and ran over to help their leader get out, which was a bit of a struggle.

Jakurai felt the children’s eyes burning into his back as they walked away. No wonder Doppo seemed so freaked out in line… Now that his stomach had settled down, the doc realized he was hungry. His teammates probably were, too. “Doppo-kun, Hifumi-kun, shall we get something to eat?” “Yeah, I’m soooo hungry, sensei! Where do you wanna eat, Doppo?” Doppo jumped back. “You- you’re asking me!? But what if I pick somewhere with lazy workers and they don’t make the food right… then we’ll get food poisoning… and we’ll be too sick to ride anything else… and it’ll be my fault…..” He kept rambling, as usual. Jakurai sighed, grabbed Doppo’s shoulders, and shook him violently back into normality. “Ah, thanks sensei.” Jakurai chuckled. “So, anywhere in particular you want to eat?” “No… not really. Let’s just let Hifumi choose.” Doppo didn’t realize the implications of his words until they had already left his mouth. Hifumi was surely going to choose someplace ridiculous…

“Yay, yay!! Thought ya’d never say so, Doppo-chin!” Hifumi scouted the booths, trying to find something with a menu they’d all like. He had intended to make their lunches, but Jakurai had said it might be more fun to try the food there. Finally, he settled on a barbecue, set under a blue canopy, with a somewhat large amount of people chatting while they enjoyed their food. The group walked over to the tent, peering at the menu. Jakurai quickly decided on a steak, but Hifumi couldn’t figure out if he wanted the chicken or salmon, and Doppo couldn’t figure it out at all, not to mention that the heat was causing his appetite to shrink, so he just decided t mooch of some of what hifumi got.

Hifumi practically skipped towards an open seat, Doppo and Jakurai following behind. It was getting hot. Perhaps steak wasn’t the most refreshing option. The Doc let his thoughts wander as he watched his teammates bicker over trivial things. Times like these were nice, relaxing and getting to have fun together. He hoped they could have this opportunity again soon. Doppo and Hifumi stopped their catfight when the waiter came by with the food. “Hahaha, this salmon is gonna be so delicious! Here Doppo-chin, have a bite!” ‘Wait-” Doppo was cut off as Hifumi shoved the fish in his mouth. “Is it good? Do you like it!!?” “BLEH! Hifumiiii, don’t do that without asking!!” Jakurai let out a loud laugh, and the other two stopped to look at him. After a pause, they laughed, too. Matenrou was having a good time, indeed.

Jakurai stood, smiling. “Well, shall we all return home? We’ve gone through all of the rides.” Hifumi shook his head, “I wanna try out some games!! Can we?”Jakurai gave a fond sigh; it’s not like they had anything else to do tonight. Hifumi took that as a yes, grabbing both of their sleeves and dragging them over to a game where you had to get rings on the neck of glass soda bottles. There were large stuffed animals hanging above the bottles, fluffy with cute faces. Hifumi got a large bucket of the rings to split, and Doppo winced at the obnoxious price.

“Here we go, Doppo-chin! Huzzah!” The ring clattered around the bottle necks before hitting the ground, leaving a pouting Hifumi and unamused Doppo with one less ring. “Um, my turn, I guess…” Doppo tossed the ring halfheartedly, not doing much better than Hifumi. They needed 5 to win. There were only 8 left. “Awwww, Doppo-chin, we both missed! That’s, like, so unfair!” Doppo tsked at him. “Stop being so loud…” HIfumi was ignoring him already, mind focused on the next toss. “Alley-oop!!” He emphasized the last syllable as the ring left his hand, soaring through the air before dramatically landing on a bottle neck. “Haha! Hahahaha!! Did you see, Doppo-chin? I landed the ring, did’ya see, did’ya see?!”

Doppo was being shaken back and forth by a grinning Hifumi, his hands gripping his sweater sleeves. “Yes, I saw, I saw! Now please stop…” Jakurai picked up a ring, holding it between his slender fingers and examining it. This couldn’t be harder than killing people, he thought while giving it a toss. It failed, falling quietly. Jakurai looked at it with a blank expression for a few moments, then stepped back to let the younger two take control. Somehow, between the two of them, they managed to get the needed amount, and Hifumi picked out a large polar bear, hoisting it over his shoulder with a laugh. "Let's each do our own, then meet back up here!" Neither Doppo nor Jakurai wanted to upset him, though they both just wanted to return home, but then Jakurai saw an octopus that reminded him of Hifumi, so he went to get it, and Doppo wandered off the other way, just looking for one that seemed easy.

Doppo sighed, not wanting to be left alone. He shook his head and kept walking before he found what seemed like an easy win. The sign read “Guessing Game!”; the attendant had to guess your age within 2 years, weight within 10 lbs, and birth month within 3 months. If they were wrong you won a prize. The only difficult part would be talking to the attendant… while Doppo braced himself to approach the game, Jakurai was trying his hardest to win the little octopus plush. It was invertible, two wildly different expressions on each side. Just like Hifumi with and without his jacket. This one seemed a bit easier than the bottles, a simple game of basketball. Jakurai was tall. Basketball should be easy enough.

It took 10 tries. 5,000 yen, all to get the stupid yellow octopus. Jakurai almost felt ashamed of himself as he walked to find the others. It didn’t take long, Doppo was at a guessing game, failing rather horribly. Hifumi was on what must have been his 5th, judging from the various prizes littering the ground next to him. He was trying to get a goldfish currently, playing a game similar to the one they had all done together. Jakurai was silently hoping he didn’t get a goldfish, since they seemed rather annoying to take care of and usually died quickly. Luckily, he failed, the last ring falling to the ground. Hifumi’s pout was visible even with his back turned, shoulders drooping.

Jakurai decided to intervene before Hifumi wasted all his money (and their time). “Come, Hifumi-kun, let’s find Doppo.” Hifumi gave an enthusiastic nod as he scrambled to pick up the various prizes. Jakurai raised an eyebrow and helped him carry a few. The two walked off, a purple-haired doctor with a polar bear on his back and a blonde host with various little creatures in his arms, to find Doppo. It didn’t take long to find the salaryman, his anxious aura almost visible in the air around him. He had lost the guessing game. Apparently he was too easy to read… he hung his head and sighed, turning to go find Hifumi and Doc. He walked a bit before looking up; there were his two friends approaching him, quite the site with all their spoils of war.

“Ahhh.. seems you’ve had a lot more luck than me” Doppo mused, looking them all up and down. “Yep! and this stuff is heavy.. let's go home!!” there was a unanimous agreement, all of them tired and done with what they wanted. They got comfortable, tossing the prizes in the trunk, and settled in for the ride. It felt longer than the way there, though perhaps it was due to the fact that they had eaten, so more bathroom breaks were inevitable. The moon was out and glowing when they arrived home at their shared apartment. Hifumi ran and flopped onto his bed, yelling at the others to follow. “I’ve got to wake up early and leave.. I donˋt want to wake you two in the process” Jakurai hesitated, standing awkwardly in the room while the other two changed into nightclothes. “C’mon, doc! It’s no trouble, we’ll fall right back to sleep after anyways. “yeah..” So Jakurai sighed and joined them, and they all fell asleep in minutes, tired from the day’s adventure, but also excited to do it again one day.

[scuzznishimuraenthusiast]

Salas, Ivy, Kate! Happy birthday!!! Love you so much /p, hope you enjoy this drabble 💐

———————————————————————

Kate bounced into the kitchen as quietly as she could, then paused in the doorway and did a double take. Both of her boyfriends were already there, Reynie perched on the counter and Sticky leaning against it, his eyes closed and his head resting on Reynie’s shoulder.

Reynie’s face broke into a sleepy grin when their eyes met. “Mornin, Katie-cat,” he murmured. Sticky jolted up at the sound of Reynie’s voice. Kate’s heart fluttered because wow, it has GOT to be illegal to be that cute.

“You boys are up early,” she chirped, careful to keep her voice down since Constance and the adults, minus Milligan, were probably still asleep. “Smells like waffles, you making breakfast?” For me? goes unsaid.

“Yeah.” Sticky adjusted his glasses and grinned. “We were going to bring you breakfast in bed, but I guess I underestimated just how early you get up.”

“Well, I’m up extra early today. Big day, y’know.”

“As long as you won’t be too tired to go zip lining later.”

“Too tired? Reynard, have you met me?”

“Kate, we both saw you collapse from exhaustion at Walmart two weeks ago,” Sticky deadpanned.

“Okay, well—” She huffed. Reynie giggled and Kate pretended to scowl at him. “I hadn’t gotten any sleep that week, I’ll be fine today.”

“Good. No dying on your birthday.”

“Hey, Sticky?” Reynie interrupted before Kate could retort. “Did you set the timer for those waffles?”

Sticky blinked, then turned to face his boyfriend. “You said you would do that.”

“I did?” A pause. “I did not do that.”

“Fuck.”

“Himbos,” Kate remarked as she dashed around the counter to the waffle maker, Sticky stumbling after her.

“Yeah, that’s fair.” Reynie hopped off the counter and joined them.

The waffles were a darker color than they should be, Kate noted as she used the already laid out fork to move them onto a plate, but they’d be fine with a little extra syrup.

“Sorry, Kate.” Reynie sounded sheepish. “You don’t have to eat those.”

“Huh? No, it’s fine.” She laughed at both of her boyfriends’ guilty expression. “Seriously guys, they’re fine. Thank you for doing this.”

“You sure?” Sticky still didn’t sound convinced. “We can go get donuts if you want. We won’t be offended.” Reynie nodded quickly.

“Hm.” She paused, plate in hand. Donuts do sound good. “I want these” — she held up the waffles — “but maybe we can get donuts for lunch? That does sound good.”

“Donuts for lunch?” Sticky gave her a playfully judgemental look. She stuck her tongue out at him.

“Be nice to me!”

“Yeah, Sticky, don’t bully the birthday girl.” Reynie elbowed the other boy in the ribs with a grin.

Sticky scoffed, though he couldn’t hide his smile. “Fine, fine. We can get donuts.”

Kate beamed. “Aw, you do love me!”

“Of course we do.”

-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BROOK ILYSM TYSM AAAAAAAAAAAA 💖🌾💐 /p

[missrown]

I WAS SUMMONED AND HERE TO DELIVER-

So there's Harem Au and Royal Au

So, as you ascend to the throne, one of the traditions for rulers in your kingdom is to have a harem of atleast 5 men.

So what do you do? You make a competition for it obviously-pfft

So you test them in terms of skill, strength, wisdom, tactical ability, and morals. And well, of course 5 stood out out of all the men.

Dazai, Chuuya, Aku, Atsushi, and Ranpo were the ones that won your challenges. And luckily for you, they all adored you in some sort of way. Even Chuuya and Aku were a but hesitant but they wouldn't participate if they didn't want to

it got burried in my notifs

Anyways,

As the new ruler, you leadership skills were admired by Chuuya. Your ability to keep trying to be one step ahead of your enemies was admired by Dazai. Your morals, your love for the people of the kingdom was what Atsushi admired. Your logical and creative thinking was what bought Ranpo's attention to you. Akutagawa admired your kindness, even to people who were below you, you made sure to treat everyone kindly.

Dazai and Chuuya bickering over who would spend the night with you and Ranpo using that small commotion to divert your attention to him.

Atsushi and Akutagawa bickering over who would take the responsibility of Royal garden. In the end it was given to Atsushi.

Akutagawa helping you, in whatever you desired, you and him do calligraphy in both of your free time.

Atsushi every morning without fail brings you a fresh bouquet of your favourite flowers which he helped in growing.

Chuuya, with his ability and strength would also act as a bodyguard whenever you need to leave the kingdom for some important reasons.

Dazai would always treat you the best he could think of. Serving you tea, whatever you asked of him he would do everything in his power to get you that.

You and Ranpo, in tea time always eat different sweets. And he always chooses the one which will satisfy his and yours tongue.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! IM SIMPING! HELP!