#i was already having a rough time mentally

[logansluvr]

TASTE

LOGAN HOWLETT x F!READER

SUMMARY : You won’t admit it, but it stung when you realized you were just a placeholder while Logan waited for Jean AGAIN. Now that she has him, she realizes that no matter how hard she tries there will always be you somewhere on him…Or Jean and Logan both fucked themselves over while you enjoy the aftermath.

WARNING : description of mutant powers (all things nature), angst, more angst, Jean slander (sorry), suggestive content, nothing deeper than a make out, hurt/slight comfort, some Logan slander (ily), Logan has some self reflection time, love triangle??square???

basically I was listening to taste and this sparked in my head and now it won’t leave me alone…

I heard you're back together and if that's true

you'll just have to taste me when he's kissin' you

IN ALL HONESTY SOMEWHERE IN THE BACK OF your mind you knew it was coming. It was nice to indulge in the fantasy though. You indulged in it as an ode to your past self ( you from a year ago ) when you realized that what you thought of Logan was more than a crush. The opportunity presented itself so sinfully you thought it had to be some sort of hallucination.

You couldn’t say no, after all you still had that ode to your past self and deep down you felt…comforted. Comforted in the fact that Logan had thought about you in that way — though that thought diminished soon enough.

At first it was nice, Logan treated you right even if there was something a little off about it. He took you out on occasion, made you laughed, hell he even laughed with you.

There was a point after three months where he began to not mind falling asleep in your bed — even if he acted a little colder the day after it happened.

There were nights when he would be extra tense after a small rescue mission, or after something happened during the day.

He’d take it out on you by burying himself inside of you, biting down on your chest in places clothes covered — other times he’d just bury his head between your thighs taking his time in making you fall apart over and over.

But after nights like those he wouldn’t even look you in the eyes directly. It seemed that only a half a year into your relationship you realized something odd. Certain people in the halls would stare at you with pity, Scott Summers barely looked you in the eyes and even the professor seemed like each word he said to you he was internally wincing.

It was only one night after a particularly rough mission that you had pieced most of it together. Once you were in your room you recalled the high tension between Scott, Jean, and Logan. Most of the time you felt like you a Ororo were missing a big piece of something — especially with the way they’d all go at each other.

You were grateful he had the decency to tell you rather than ignore you, you weren’t even paying attention. Too busy trying to hold back tears — ones you were confused on having.

He muttered something along the lines of you being too young and he just isn’t ready for something like that. You didn’t care, it was a bunch of bullshit. You didn’t need telepathy to know that.

Once he shut the door behind him you had walked to the shower, turned it on, stepped inside with your clothes on, and cried. For a minute you didn’t even realize why you were crying until you had the realization that it was because you felt more for him than you initially let yourself believe.

The days after that everyone sensed the tension, Logan tried to act normal. You however, you just simply brushed him off — he didn’t need to know that he had seriously fucked with your mental. You were going to act normal, act like it didn’t affect you.

It was bad enough the professor looked at you with sympathy the day after your crying session.

On the bright side he fixed your schedule around so you’d see less of Logan.

The week following the breakup you realized he hadn’t even waited that long before he was already crowding Jean — that’s when you realized it wasn’t one big coincidence Scott was meaner at the same time Logan was crowding the Dr.

You had unfortunately turned down the hallway about a week and a half after the breakup, patting a student on the shoulder after they had bombarded you with questions. You were going to meet Scott, his next class in coordination with yours.

But as you glanced at the end of the hall you saw him. Standing next to her, arm on the wall as he smiled down at her. Staring like she was the only thing in the room — you could almost hear the swish of the trees outside, an affect from the anger simmering beneath you.

Thankfully someone stepped out of the classroom you were about to enter. It was one about halfway down the hall, and it seemed to draw both your attention and the attention of couple practically eye fucking at the end of the hallway.

Scott glanced at them, thankful for his sunglasses so they couldn’t see the glare on his face before he turned towards you. Clenching his jaw he walked towards you, handing you the lesson plan he had worked up.

You were far too busy reading over the sheet to notice the gaze burning holes into your back — but Scott wasn’t. And as he glanced over his shoulder he found Logan Howlett staring directly at you.

And a Jean grey staring at him staring at you.

It was only about three weeks after the breakup when something seemed to change. You hadn’t truly been feeling better but you were getting there — busying yourself with other things. Working more on your abilities and working on your training.

You were none the wiser to the situation happening between the two people you’d successfully stopped feeling hatred for. You stopped the avoidance thing about two weeks after the breakup, the mansion was big but not that big.

While it didn’t outwardly bother you that much, other people seemed to notice a tense thing between the couple anytime you were in the vicinity.

There was a day when it seemed like everything went from bad to worse between them. It was a nice day outside and Jean found herself in Logan’s arms, holding onto him whilst his lips pressed against hers.

Her hands were tangling in his hair whilst they swapped whatever DNA they were hoping to swap. And when they pulled away to catch their breath her eyes remained closed, a small furrow in her brow as her tongue ran over her lips.

If someone were to ask her, she’d say she was hallucinating.

Because she could’ve sworn she tasted cherry lipgloss on Logan’s lips — cherry lipgloss she didn’t own.

Yet as her tongue darted out to lick her lips again, it was gone. Her eyes cracking open to find Logan’s gaze over her shoulder, and when she spun around to glance at what had got his attention there you were.

There you always were.

Oblivious to the fact that Logan was watching you. Oblivious to the fact that wherever you showed up he seemed to only look at you the way he used to look at Jean. Oblivious to the fact that all you had to do was enter the same room and all of the sudden his attention was on you.

And it wasn’t on purpose, cause there was a moment where your mental forces had slipped and she probed. And when she dug deeper she only find pure oblivion, it made it all the harder to spite you.

She could ignore if she wanted too, and she tried. For a while. But every-time she kissed him, there was that lingering feeling of tasting cherry lipgloss.

The same cherry lipgloss she watched you apply in a mirror in the hallway.

And she swore your perfume lingered on him even if it had been weeks since you’d been within five feet of him.

Every time you close your eyes

And feel his lips, you're feelin' mine

And every time you breathe his air

Just know I was already there

this was short Ik but I’m currently crying because I had a smut with over 6.k words and HALF OF IT DIDNT SAVE?!??!?

anyways <33 taglist??

[wolvietxt]

💭 thinking about…

𝗅𝗈𝗀𝖺𝗇 𝗁𝗈𝗐𝗅𝖾𝗍𝗍 𝗑 𝗍𝖾𝗅𝖾𝗉𝖺𝗍𝗁𝗂𝖼!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

pairing : logan howlett x fem!reader warnings : anxiety, panic, angst, fluff, overstimulation, implied age gap, pet names, budding relationship au wc : 1.5k a/n : i’m thinking about maybe making the odd prompt list, not sure if anyone would be interested? idk i feel like i have so many ideas on what to write but not enough time to actually write them. lmk if it’s something anyone would be interested in😭

you'd always hated crowded spaces, but this - this was something else entirely.

the pounding bass from the club’s speakers seemed to vibrate through your whole body, and the flashing lights made it impossible to focus on anything for too long. it was all too loud, too chaotic. the mission had been simple: blend in, keep an eye on the target, and extract information. easy enough. except no one had accounted for the fact that a telepath like you could hardly stand in the middle of a packed nightclub without being bombarded by the overwhelming flood of thoughts and emotions from every single person around you.

the drinks, the laughter, the flirtations happening at every corner - they were suffocating. you tried to block them out, but your mental shields were already thin, your energy worn down from the mission prep. and now, with the music and flashing lights adding to the noise in your head, everything was starting to blur together. the alcohol from earlier wasn’t helping either.

you stood near the edge of the room, trying to focus on anything other than the mental cacophony around you. the team was scattered throughout the club, everyone doing their part to blend in with the crowd. but for you, it was becoming harder to concentrate on the task at hand. the target’s thoughts were buried under a thousand others, each one screaming for attention inside your mind.

you felt sick, like the world was spinning too fast. the room was closing in. your head pounded, and you could feel a sharp nausea creeping up your throat. you needed to get out of there, away from the noise, the thoughts, the people.

a warm hand suddenly brushed against your arm, pulling you out of the spiral you were falling into. you turned, blinking, and found logan standing beside you. his sharp eyes were locked on you, concern written all over his face. he’d always been able to read you better than anyone else on the team, even without telepathy.

“you alright, kid?” his voice cut through the haze, gruff but steady. it was like an anchor, something real and solid to focus on.

you nodded quickly, though it was a lie. “i’m fine,” you muttered, but the words felt weak, shaky.

logan didn’t buy it for a second. “yeah, bullshit,” he muttered, his hand still resting on your arm, grounding you. “you’re lookin’ pale as hell. c’mon, bub.”

before you could protest, logan gently but firmly led you toward the exit, weaving through the crowd with ease. you followed, grateful for his presence. the second you stepped outside, the cool night air hit you, and you felt like you could finally breathe again.

logan guided you away from the line of people waiting to get in and toward a quieter spot around the corner of the building, far from the pounding music. the noise from inside was muffled now, and without the sea of thoughts crashing into you from all sides, your head began to clear, just a little.

“better?” logan asked, his voice softer now, though still carrying that rough edge that was so inherently him.

you nodded, taking a deep breath. “yeah… yeah, much better. thanks.”

he leaned back against the brick wall, folding his arms across his chest, watching you carefully. he didn’t push, didn’t demand an explanation, but you could tell by the way his eyes narrowed slightly that he knew something was wrong.

“it’s just... the noise in there,” you said after a moment, your voice quiet, almost embarrassed. “not just the music, but the people. their thoughts. it’s... it’s a lot.”

logan’s expression softened, just a little. he might not understand telepathy the way you experienced it, but he got it in his own way. he knew what it was like to have too much going on in your head, to feel overwhelmed by things out of your control.

“should’ve said somethin’,” he muttered, though his tone wasn’t harsh. “i would’ve gotten you outta there sooner.”

you shook your head. “i didn’t want to mess up the mission.”

“the mission doesn’t matter if you’re about to pass out,” he shot back, his eyes flashing with irritation - not at you, but at the situation. “you gotta take care of yourself.”

you sighed, leaning against the wall beside him. “i know. ‘s just... hard. when you’re in a place like that, and everyone’s thinking all at once, it’s like - ” you shrugged, trying to find the right words. “it’s like being underwater. you can hear everything muffled, but it’s all too much at the same time. i couldn’t block them all out.”

logan was quiet for a moment, processing what you said. then he nodded, as if he understood. “well, you’re outta there now. you don’t need to go back in. the rest of us can handle it.”

you frowned, shaking your head. “no, i can’t leave the team like that. we’re supposed to - ”

“hey,” he interrupted, his voice low but firm. “you’ve done enough, kid. let us take it from here.” his gaze softened as he looked down at you. “besides, you ain’t leavin’ us hangin’. you’re just takin’ a breather. nothin’ wrong with that.”

you met his eyes, feeling a little less guilty under his steady gaze. he was right, of course. but it still felt wrong to step back when the rest of the team was inside, working.

“how about this,” logan added, his tone softening. “you stay out here for a bit, get your head straight, and if you’re feelin’ up to it, we’ll go back in together. but only if you’re ready.”

his words made you relax a little more. the pressure to keep pushing through was gone, and the idea of taking a break, even if just for a few minutes, didn’t feel so bad when he framed it like that.

“okay,” you agreed softly. “i think... i think i need a few minutes.”

logan nodded, satisfied with your answer. he pushed away from the wall and motioned toward a nearby bench. “sit down for a sec. no rush.”

you followed him, sinking onto the bench gratefully. the fresh air felt good, like it was clearing away the fog in your mind. logan sat beside you, silent but present, his arm resting on the back of the bench, his fingers grazing your shoulder lightly.

“how do you do it?” you asked after a few minutes, your voice barely above a whisper.

logan glanced at you, eyebrow raised. “do what?”

“stay so calm,” you murmured, staring down at your hands. “you’re always in control. even when everything’s going crazy, you just... keep it together.”

he huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “you think i’m calm?”

you looked at him, a little surprised by his response. “well, yeah. you always seem like you’ve got it under control.”

logan’s gaze softened as he met your eyes. “darlin’, i ain’t always calm. most of the time, i’m just as pissed off or frustrated as the next guy. but i learned a long time ago that lettin’ it take over don’t do any good. doesn’t mean it’s easy, but... you get used to it.”

you frowned slightly, processing what he said. “so... you’re just used to it?”

“nah,” he corrected, his voice softer now. “i’m used to dealin’ with it. there’s a difference. but i had to figure that out the hard way. you’ll get there, bub. more easily i hope.”

you nodded slowly, letting his words sink in. it wasn’t the same as what you were dealing with, but in a way, it felt like he understood more than anyone else on the team ever could. and the fact that he was here, sitting with you, offering quiet support, meant more than you could express.

“thanks,” you said after a moment, glancing up at him with a small smile. “for getting me out of there. for... everything.”

logan looked at you for a beat, his expression softening. “anytime,” he muttered, his voice gruff but genuine.

for a while, the two of you just sat there in the quiet, the night air cool against your skin. the noise and chaos of the club were distant now, and with logan beside you, the overwhelming thoughts and emotions that had threatened to drown you finally felt manageable.

“you ready to head back in?” logan asked after a few minutes, though his tone wasn’t pushy.

you hesitated for a second, then shook your head. “not yet.”

he smirked slightly, nodding. “good. let’s stay out here a bit longer.”

you smiled, leaning into his shoulder, and he didn’t pull away. instead, his arm settled around you, holding you close as the night stretched on, the two of you finding a moment of peace amidst the chaos.

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@bluevclvet, @angellreads, @babey-fruit-bat

[nina-ya]

A/N: i was a little sappy writing this one ngl idk I just love law so much LMAO Pairing: Law x reader CW: none, mild backstory spoilers if you squint WC: ~800 Other versions: Luffy Zoro Sanji Law (more to come) • masterlist • ko-fi • discord server •

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Loving Law is not easy. It’s not supposed to be. He’s all sharp edges haphazardly taped and glued together, just waiting to fall apart at a moments notice. Every glance feels calculated, like he’s already three steps ahead in some mental game of chess that only he knows the rules to. But once you become a part of his life, once you’ve proven that you deserve his trust and care, you’re under his protection in ways that you may never fully understand.

Loving Law is falling in love with the ocean at night. It’s unpredictable, dark, but there’s a certain beauty in the unknown that is him. He won’t admit it, but he will always catch you before you fall. Not because he’s trying to be a hero, but because losing anyone else is something he cannot quite handle. His love comes in the forms of subtle checks such as a quiet “don’t overexert yourself,” a lingering glance that asks if you are okay, or a warm coat tossed your wat in the middle of a cold night. He’s practical, pragmatic, but never indifferent. 

Loving Law is accepting that he doesn’t need to be saved, but sometimes he will let you stand beside him as the waves crash over him. He will let you in just enough to feel the weight that is constantly pushing down on him, but never so much that you think he’s burdening you. But you’re there to remind him that being strong doesn’t mean carrying everything on his own. 

Loving Law is loving someone who sees the world through a lens of strategy and survival. His love doesn’t come with flowery speeches or romantic gestures- it comes with an almost obsessive need to keep you alive. He ensures you have what you need and he never asks for thanks. He doesn’t need it. 

But then when you break through those hard walls he had built around his heart from loss after loss, you get to explore a much more vulnerable side to him. You get to learn about the despair that he has been put through, all of the rough battles he has fought to get to this point, everything that makes Law, well, Law. It’s not easy for him to do, and you can see this in the way he chooses each word carefully as if they may betray him. But when this does happen, you realize that there is a strength among the vulnerability, a wordless trust that comes from knowing that you wont use it against him.

And when he opens up, even if its just for a moment, you realize that he is not just giving you his trust, but he is giving you everything. Every piece of himself he thought was lost, every part of him that he thought was too broken to be loved, it’s all there, in the space between his words and the look in his eyes. And you couldn’t be more grateful to be the one he shares it with.

Loving Law is knowing that it may take some time to get through to him, but when you do, its more than perfect. There is a heightened intensity in the simplest of gestures such as the way his fingers graze over yours, the warmth of his hand resting at the small of your back, or the way that he presses his forehead against you staring into your eyes with a look that screams ‘i cherish you’ without having to utter a single word.

When his lips finally meet yours, its as if the whole world screeches to a halt. There is no rush, no frantic urgency, just a slow deliberate tenderness as if he is memorizing every inch of your mouth, the softness of your lips. The way he tilts your chin up, deepening the kiss with an inhale as if he needs to breathe you in. His hands are firm, one cupping your face while the other rests on your waist, keeping you close to him. His hands, calloused from years of battle, move with a surprising softness when he’s with you, as if he’s afraid of breaking something precious. Loving Law is finding safety in vulnerability. It’s the knowledge that while he may keep the world at arms length, he lets you in piece by piece until he allows himself to be fragile in your presence. It’s the softness that only you see in him, the way his hands tremble slightly when they brush over your skin, the way his lips can express so much in the soft presses against yours, the promise that despite all the loss he has endured, he will never let you go.

[ink-perfect]

together.

during battle, zoro takes a hit for you, causing him a serious injury. when the fight ends, a heated confrontation between the two of you ignites, forcing you to confront the fear of losing him for good. (vv angsty, but i can't bear to have a sad ending so some extremely cute fluff at the end!)

the battlefield was a blur of steel and screams, the air thick with smoke and the sharp tang of blood. your body moved on instinct, every step calculated as you cut down the enemies that surrounded you. but you were getting tired - too tired. your limbs were heavy, your breath coming in short, ragged bursts. still, you pushed forward. you had to. your crew needed you.

in the chaos, you felt it before you saw it - a chill making its way down your spine. turning your head, you saw him. an enemy soldier, his eyes locked on you, his sword raised and aimed straight for your heart. you were too slow. you knew it. nobody had expected the fight to go on for this long, and you felt the last of your stamina draining, legs threatening to buckle on the spot. there was no time to block, no time to move.

you were done for.

the glint of his blade caught the light as it arced toward you, and you couldn't even find the energy to flinch. 

but before the blade could strike, something blurred in front of you - a flash of an all-too familiar green.

zoro.

his back was to you, his swords already crossed to block the enemy’s strike. the force of the blow sent sparks flying as their blades clashed, a few landing on your legs and imprinting a constellation of maroon across your skin. once again, you barely reacted, instead just adding the burns to your sprawling mental list of battle scars you had gotten in the last few hours. it was only when you mustered up the strength to look up that you realised how strong the enemy’s attack really had been. his sword had broken through zoro’s guard, slicing deep into his side.

“zoro!” you screamed, your voice breaking with panic as you watched the blood stain his shirt, bright and vivid against the chaos around you. without hesitation, he pushed the enemy back with a snarl, cutting him down with a single, vicious strike.

you stumbled toward him, your hands reaching out, but your legs gave out as soon as you moved. the adrenaline was gone, and your body was failing you. zoro was there before you hit the ground, his arms catching you, consequently taking the brunt of the fall.

“you’re...okay, i got...you...” he rasped, his voice strained but steady. his breath was hot against your ear as he pulled you close, and you could feel the tremor in his body as he struggled to stay upright.

“no,” you choked out, your hands gripping his shirt, feeling the warmth of his blood soaking through. "you’re not okay. zoro, you’re-"

“doesn’t matter.” his voice was low, rough, as he pressed his forehead against yours for the briefest second before lifting you into his arms. “you’re safe. that’s what matters.”

you wanted to argue. to scream. to cry. to kick that stupid attacker's ass. but most of all, you wanted to sleep. this urge overpowered all the former ones, and your world tilted, darkness creeping into your vision. you could acutely feel firm hands running along your back and through your hair, then elevation, and finally a slow but steady movement forward. zoro was carrying you. carrying you with a massive wound in his side. you wish you could tell him to stop, to wait, to let you carry him, but the strength and warmth of his grip made your body feel heavier by the second. the last thing you felt before slipping away was the steady rhythm of the swordsman’s heartbeat beneath your cheek, constant and comforting even as blood pooled at his side.

you woke up in a daze, your head pounding and your limbs aching. the familiar sway of the thousand sunny rocked gently beneath you, the soft creak of wood and distant sounds of the crew murmuring outside the door. but you were alone, tucked beneath a heavy blanket. the infirmary was dimly lit, the faint salty scent of the sea mingling with the sickening one of antiseptic.

suddenly, it all came rushing back - the fight, zoro stepping in front of you, the sword slicing into him. you bolted upright, body sore but heart racing. where was he? was he okay?

“zoro…?” you tried to yell, but your throat was so sore and dehydrated it came out as a silent croak. shit. you couldn’t even call for him.

before you could gather your thoughts, you heard racing footsteps and the door subsequently creaked open. zoro stepped in to fill the frame of the infirmary doorway, panting from the run down there. speak of the devil, you thought to yourself, but as you took him in, light filtering in only from behind his figure, perfectly chiseled features morphed into a face of concern, you couldn’t help but think he looked more like an angel. 

“how’d you know…i woke up?” you mumbled, still very much disoriented. he couldn't have possibly heard you.

“i didn’t,” he came over to sit at your bedside. “just had a feeling.”

you swelled at the sweetness of the coincidence, but deflated almost immediately as you caught sight of his injury. from this angle, you could clearly see his bandaged side, a massive crimson spot already formed on the gauze. the sight of him, alive and standing, had filled you with relief at first, but now you felt something else: hot, sharp anger that twisted in your chest. 

“what the hell were you thinking?” you snapped, throwing off the blanket, wincing as the cold air bit at the burn marks scattered along your thighs. you moved to swing your legs off the bed and stand up, but zoro immediately pushed you down in concern, lightly tracing around the scars with his fingertips. his eyes darted back and forth on each one, furrowed brows morphing into raised ones of guilt as he realised their source. 

“fuck,” he groaned, eyes snapping shut as soon as he felt tears lining the bottom of them. “i did this to you.”

you jerked upright, causing you to scrunch up your face in pain yet again. “what? no, that’s not why i’m mad…”

he blinked, his brow furrowing. “then what...?”

his cluelessness made the fire inside your chest burn brighter. how unaware was he?

“you could’ve died, zoro!” your voice cracked, the weight of what had happened hitting you all at once. “you took that hit so mindlessly…if you had been even a second slower-” your hands trembled as you clenched them into fists, frustration and fear boiling over.

he frowned, his arms crossing over his chest, clearly confused. “you were in danger. i wasn’t gonna just stand there and let you get hurt.”

“no, you could’ve let me handle it,” you shot back. “you can’t keep throwing yourself into the line of fire like that! it’s reckless! i mean, do you realise how that feels? knowing someone could’ve died because of you? i didn’t ask for you to put your whole life on the line for me-”

“ask? baby, the fuck do you mean by ask?” he interjected, voice sharp now, eyes narrowing. “i am never letting you take a hit. not a chance. i don’t care if you ask or not.”

you couldn’t help but admit that the pet name paired with the bold statement made you melt a little, despite the circumstances. after regaining your composure, you continued. “that’s not the point!” your chest was heaving now, the words spilling out before you could stop them. “i don’t want to lose you, zoro. don’t you get that?”

he scoffed, his tone dismissive. “you’re not gonna lose me, sweet. you should know that by now.” his lips quirked up in that cocky, familiar smirk. “i’m gonna be the world’s greatest swordsman, i can’t die before that.”

something in you snapped the moment those words left his mouth. a strangled cry tore from your throat as your fists clenched at your sides, your chest tight with frustration. "listen to me!" you shouted, louder than you intended, your voice breaking with emotion. “i don’t care about your dream, zoro. i care about you."

his eyes widened, momentarily thrown off by your statement. you didn’t care about his dream? but you didn’t stop. “why are you being so selfish?” your voice cracked with the weight of it all, tears stinging at your eyes.

his face hardened, defensive. “it’s not about being selfish-”

“then what the hell is it about?!” you cut him off, fully getting off the bed and stepping forward, your hands trembling. "you’re willing to risk your life for your dream, but have you ever thought about the fact that i need you? that the crew needs you? we’re a team - you don’t have to carry everything on your own!" your voice dropped, softer now, the anger giving way to fear. “and i don’t want to keep wondering if the next fight will be your last. keep living in fear that my incompetence could be the reason for your undoing. do you think your dream’s more important than your life? than us?”

he looked up, at your last sentence, a blind rage, similar to fire coursing through him. “are you…saying…i have to fucking pick?” his voice came out beat by beat, sharp and venomous, like the very idea of it was an insult.

your heart pounded in your chest, panic rising. "no, obviously not-" you backtracked quickly, your eyes darting to his, desperate to get him to understand what you had meant. but the matter was too far gone. his fists were clenched at his sides, his jaw tight.

"it’s only been a few months of us anyway," he said through gritted teeth, his voice low and far too cold. "if you can’t respect my dream, i don’t know if this can work out anymore." 

you felt like you had just been punched in the gut. you let out a massive gasp, stopping in your tracks as a numbness started to make its way through your body. what did he just say? 

your breath caught in your throat, your mind reeling, unable to comprehend the weight of his words. “this can’t work out anymore?” it felt like the ground had fallen out beneath you. you looked up at him, tears welling in your eyes, but he refused to meet your gaze.

his jaw clenched, his muscles tight with frustration, but you could see it - the way his hands shook, the storm raging behind his eyes as he fought against his pride and your words. he was hurt, too. you didn’t know how to continue anymore, so neither of you spoke for the next minute, tension in the air thick and suffocating. then, without another word, he turned on his heel and left the room, the door closing with a soft thud behind him.

that night, you lay in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, your thoughts spinning endlessly in circles. the room was dark, but it wasn’t the kind of darkness that comforted you. it felt suffocating, like it was pressing down on your chest, making it harder to breathe. the silence in the room was deafening, broken only by the faint creak of the ship as it drifted through the night.

your chest still ached with the weight of everything left unsaid. the words you’d both thrown at each other replayed in your mind, over and over, like a broken record. his cold tone, the harshness in his voice - it had felt so unlike him. and yet, you couldn’t stop hearing it. “if you can’t respect my dream, i don’t know if this can work out anymore.”

the pit in your stomach grew heavier. your heart twisted painfully every time you thought about it. how could he say that? your hands clenched the blanket as if holding onto it could somehow anchor you.

you couldn’t sleep. you didn’t want to sleep. the image of zoro taking that wound for you kept playing in your head - him throwing himself between you and danger without hesitation, the way his body had tensed, how he’d barely flinched even as blood poured from his side. each time the memory replayed, it sent a confusing mix of emotions through you - anger, fear, sadness, and something else. something you didn’t want to admit.

he’d saved you. but at what cost? why did he have to be so damn stubborn, always putting himself on the line without thinking about how it made you feel?

you felt torn apart by conflicting emotions, your thoughts a tangled mess. you were furious with him - for being reckless, for acting like his life didn’t matter, like your feelings didn’t matter. but at the same time, you couldn’t shake the guilt gnawing at you. had you been too harsh? had you pushed him too far? you hadn’t meant to make him feel like his dream wasn’t important. of course, it was. it was everything to him.

and you hated the thought of zoro out there, alone, nursing his wound in silence. was he thinking about you? was he still mad? but this wasn’t just about his pride. this was about you two, about something bigger than just a fight. what if he meant it? what if this really was the end?

the thought sent a cold shiver through you, the possibility more terrifying than any battle you’d ever fought. your heart clenched painfully in your chest, the fear sinking in deeper now. 

you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to block it all out. but the harder you tried, the clearer everything became - the memory of his blood on your hands, the fear you’d felt when you thought he might be seriously hurt. and now the fear of being alone, because that was what you officially were.

“zoro…” you sobbed quietly to yourself, for what felt like the millionth time that night.

suddenly, the door creaked open, so soft you almost missed it. your body tensed, but you kept your eyes shut, your breath steady, pretending to sleep. footsteps padded quietly across the floor, and it was these that gave away the fact that it was him instantly. god, he had to stop doing that, arriving as soon as you spoke his name.

he came over to stand over you, his breathing heavy and uneven. he’d probably been training. that’s what he always did when he was angry or frustrated - push his body until the physical pain outweighed everything else.

“i know you’re mad at me,” he began to whisper, his voice rough and low, almost too quiet to hear. “but i couldn’t - i couldn’t let you get hurt.” 

there was a pause, and you could hear him sigh, the sound full of exhaustion and something else - something more vulnerable than you’d ever heard from him before.

“and i’m sorry,” he said, his voice breaking just a little. he clenched his jaw. “but i’d rather die than lose you.”

your heart soared at his words, the weight of them sinking deep into your chest. you wanted to move, to say something, but you stayed still, your breath caught in your throat. his words from earlier came back to haunt you, sharp and biting. “it’s only been a few months anyway.” the comment had hit you hard at the time, like he was dismissing everything between you, reducing it to something temporary. you’d felt crushed, like you didn’t mean as much to him as his dream.

but the more you thought about it, the more you realised - he hadn’t meant it like that.

zoro wasn’t someone who spoke about his feelings easily. you knew that. and when he did, it often came out wrong, guarded by his pride and that tough exterior. “months” wasn’t a measure of how little you mattered. it was the opposite. it was a measure of how little time it had taken for him to realise that you weren't something fleeting. that you weren’t just someone by his side for a few months. that you were way something more significant, so fast.

it hit you like a wave - the way he looked at you, the way he protected you without a second thought, how he stood by you not just because you were part of the crew, but because you mattered. in his world of unshakable dreams and ironclad will, you were one of the few things that could make him question himself. and that scared him.

he didn’t have to choose between his dream and you. that’s what you had been so afraid of, but now, hearing his words, you knew - he’d never been choosing between the two. you were already part of his dream. the fact that he was terrified of losing you, more than anything, was the reason behind his biting words from before.

currently, you could hear his breathing even out as he came to lay down beside you in force of habit, worn out by his own thoughts. in the silent darkness, the weight of his presence was palpable, the tension in his body easing as sleep began to claim him. just before surrendering to it completely, the memory that you were no longer together surfaced - but he didn’t leave. he couldn’t.

you turned your head slightly, your eyes tracing his slumbering silhouette. seeing him like this, unknowingly exposed to you, made the wall of anger and fear between you begin to melt away. this was when you realised it as well. this wasn’t just a few months of something casual. this…was something real. something he’d never said out loud, but something you knew now, somewhere in your heart.

you stayed still for a few minutes, listening to the steady rhythm of zoro’s breathing as he slept beside you. his presence was heavy, comforting in a way you hadn’t expected after the intensity of the day. but his newer words began to replay in your head, replacing the harsh ones from before. they sunk deeper with every passing second.

“i’d rather die than lose you.”

goddamnit, you couldn’t pretend anymore.

with a shaky breath, you shifted under the covers, turning around toward him. “zoro…” your voice was soft, barely a whisper, but it was enough to stir him from the edge of sleep. his eyes snapped open, his body tensing for a moment before he realized it was you.

“you’re… awake?” he muttered, blinking in surprise, his voice still rough from exhaustion.

“yeah,” you said, sitting up slowly, your heart pounding as you braced yourself for the conversation that had to happen. “and i, uh…i heard everything.”

the swordsman’s eyes widened slightly, his usual stoic mask faltering for just a moment as the weight of what he’d said sunk in. he sat up as well, avoiding your gaze at first, his hands resting on his knees as he stared at nowhere in particular.

“i didn’t mean for you to hear that,” he finallymurmured, voice gruff, a mix of embarrassment and regret. “i-”

“no,” you cut him off, reaching out to place a hand on his shaking arm. “i’m glad i did. because i need to say something too.”

he finally looked at you, his dark eyes searching your face, unsure of what was coming next, but oh so ready.

“i’m sorry,” you said, your voice trembling slightly. “for what i said earlier. i didn’t mean it like that. i never wanted to make you feel like your dream didn’t matter. it does."

you frowned as tears welled in your eyes, guilt hitting you like a tidal wave.

"your dream is so important. especially to me.”

zoro’s expression instantly softened, the tension in his shoulders easing a little. but you could see the conflict still lingering in his eyes, the pain that had been eating at him since the fight.

“but you matter more to me,” you continued, your voice steady, even as your heart pounded in your chest. “so i was scared. i am scared. of losing you, of watching you get hurt because you’re always so willing to throw yourself in front of danger for everyone else. but i know now that it’s because you care, not because you’re selfish and i’m so horrible for saying that.”

his jaw clenched, and for a moment, you thought he might argue, but instead, he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “i’m sorry too,” he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “i shouldn’t have said what i did. about us.”

your breath caught in your throat, the memory of his words from earlier still stinging. “did you mean it, at all…?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

he shook his head instantly, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that took your breath away. “no. of course not,” he rushed to say, his voice firm, but still gentle somehow. “i was pissed and... i didn’t know how to handle it. but this - what we have? it’s not just a few months of something. i care about you more than i’ve ever said.”

your heart clenched at his words, your suspicions, or rather, hopes, confirmed. you could see it now - his struggle, the way his pride had gotten in the way, but more than that, the way he felt. this wasn’t just about his dream anymore. it was about the two of you, and everything you’d built together, piece by piece, in those months.

“i love you,” you whispered, tears stinging at your eyes again, but this time they were different - they emanated less from fear and more from an overwhelming sense of relief. “i really hope you know.”

his eyes softened even more, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flicker of vulnerability in them, something raw and unguarded. “i know. and i love you too,” he said, his voice low but steady, like it had been true for a long time. “way more than i’ve been able to say.”

and before you could think, before you could process the weight of it all, you leaned forward, wrapping your arms around him, burying your grinning face in his chest. he tensed for a moment, then slowly, his arms came around you, holding you close.

“i’m so sorry, baby…” he murmured into your hair, his voice rough with emotion. “for making you feel like you weren’t important. you are. you are so goddamn important to me, to the crew, to everyone.”

you pulled back just enough to look up at him, your fingers brushing the side of his face, heart flooding with affection. “we’ll figure this out,” you whispered. “together.”

zoro nodded, his expression serious but soft. “together,” he agreed.

you smiled, the tension between you finally lifting as you leaned into him again, resting your head on his chest. the sound of his heartbeat was steady beneath your ear the same way it was when he saved you, grounding you in the moment.

and as you sat there together, wrapped up in each other, the weight of everything that came before melted away, leaving only the quiet certainty that what you had wasn’t temporary. 

it was real.

it was forever.

and you would grow it, together.

-- ౨ৎ

masterlist

[welveteen]

My dad found my IG account 😬

[cozylittleartblog]

bug doodles so i can say i drew something

[livetogether--diealone]

~ the one who was supposed to bring glory back (1)

[feline-evil]

I can't think of anything that could kill a generative ai system faster than letting it pull from blogs on here, its going to be fed so many erroneous callouts and pointless discourse posts that its gonna generate a way to speedrun offing itself

[baycitystygian]

guys I just survived a ladder that wanted to kill me. cheers

[unintentional-sad-wizard]

Help I said I was gonna wait until summer to get a dog but there are dogs at a local shelter that fit all my requirements and they are so good and what if I just went to look. Just to chat with the staff about these dogs. And perhaps casually filled out an adoption application for one of them well I’m there.

[yoohyeon]

I found a nice place to send my cv at, but I’m terrified

[cosmic-ships]

.

[albatris]

maybe i should post nat's first murder <3

[poisonouspastels]

actually im kind of thinking abt how all the main players in the AU are probably way more mentally Not Great than it may appear at first

[tvrningout-archived]

when i say i feel like tearing up bc i’m finally!! starting to feel more like me!!! i mean it and feeling better means y’all are about to have this troublesome lil gremlin to deal with again B))

[sscrambledmeggss]

A girls worst nightmare (all her comfort media is upsetting/stressful)