#i was on team bucket list because i believed in them being able to save us

[vod-ika]

Clones; A Sociologic Rant

I’m pretty sure I could base a whole sociologic thesis off of this show I have so many thoughts this is LONG.

So the fascinating thing about clones is that over and over it’s emphasised in show that they are considered property/cannon fodder/disposable, and at the same time it’s shown that they understand that claim, and still go so far out of their way to control some kind of their own independence.

I occasionally have a hard time separating show and fanfiction (fuck canon it’s my world now) but even in show, the allusions to modern militaries, the decorating of armor, the personalisations such as accents, names, and specific groups (Domino Squad) all point to an entirely unmitigated, completely developed culture inside the Republic. So this is basically a list of things I’ve seen, wondered about, or headcanoned in TCW.

- I would just LOVE to sit down with Filoni or Lucas and a sociologist and just Talk about how, if this army was real, what all would the Kaminoan’s have programmed in their heads (mental stability, coping mechanisms, stamina, self-preservation instinct, etc,) and how would it work in real-time, on and off the battlefield. What kind of programming went on in those eight to ten developmental years that ensured that loyalty was innate, the knowledge of property was omnipresent, and that they believed they weren’t allowed to own anything? What did they do to them to make sure that they would never want to form an uprising???

- “We are only as good as our weakest link” is repeated in team events endlessly, something that can extend to both skill and health. How deeply engrained are checkups, both mental and physical? I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that day in and day out clones, regardless of rank, are able to listen to and watch brothers die and Not have that affect them.

- Were they programmed with “protect the Jedi” in mind, or was it just, “bam. here is your CO, they outrank you so you have to respect/protect them?”,  and then one of them jumped off a building with no armor and their captain had a heart attack? With the whole “Jedi were peacekeepers now they’re generals” thing I feel like the Senate just took two pieces of a puzzle that don’t actually go together but fit anyways and shoved them together and now they’re just kinda staring at each other like “the fuk u doin here”

- HEALTH. IS SO. IMPORTANT. When you know that any injury severe enough or illness overlooked long enough could result in you being swiftly and carelessly replaced by someone who looks Exactly like you, how much more of an emphasis is put on health, bodily wellbeing, and injury prevention? Clones are human, and while they’re very highly trained, strong humans, they’re still human and skin is skin. (Applying real logic to a cartoon) Seeing clones in things like explosions that they potentially survive, but lose a limb or two always made me sad because, to The Republic/The GAR/ Kamino, what good is a crippled clone? To Kaminoans, their life’s purpose is over and you might as well treat them as a lame horse. Fuck Kamino.

- I just realised something. When most modern soldiers deploy, they deploy with the intent to eventually be replaced because they have served their time wherever they are, and are being replaced by a new wave of soldiers. Clones deploy with the intent to die and be replaced until the battle is won.

- When Marines or Infantrymen or Sailors ship out, they always have duffel bags or those gigantic green laundry bag stuffed with clothes and personal items. Now, we know that clones collect personal items, and assumedly have multiple pairs of blacks (or no sweat glands) but I have yet to see any kind of carrying devices other than crates and small backpacks like for small Hutt babies or explosives. Do they have to leave everything behind when they’re op-hopping to their next planet? Are there barracks left behind that hold the ghosts of personal blankets and magazine clippings? Or is there a mountain of green laundry bags just off-camera?

- Naming culture, good god. So, you’re fresh out of boot, and you’ve got your number still. You’re like, “dope. I’m CT-1234. I’m a GAR mortarman. Go time.” Then, some dickhead is like, nah you’re called Sparkles now lets go prank Gogo and Jazz. Naming is WILD, and I’m mostly drawing from fanfiction for this. Either you’re named for some major or heroic or kickass reason like Tracer or Wolffe or Fireball, or you’re named for the most mundane thing like your number ends with 22, so you’re Twos or there are checkers on your armor so now you’re Check. either way it is a personal choice that Specifically defies the number they were assigned at decanting. Even Dogma had one for fucks sake.

- Painting armor. You know that time had to be taken to sit quietly and detail on that eel, or those lines, or that decal. Did it do anything to better the Republic? Did it win any battles or save any precious Jedi? No, but it happened anyways. People like to discuss why we play video games; there’s no societal, familial, or interpersonal benefit, only benefit to the one playing. There’s no societal, familial, or interpersonal benefit to painting armor, only benefit to the one painting. Fuck Kamino. 

- Vocal inflections! The places they’re deployed affecting their speech patterns! I personally have a wild mashup of regional American accents because of the time I’ve spent traipsing, so how does being deployed planet after planet affect clone speech patterns??? Who rolls their r’s and who doesn’t? Are there transfers from other battalions whose accents are indiscernible because of where they were last deployed? Or ones who just have a whole additional vocabulary of local language? I’m three states away and the Louisiana accent blows my mind. Imagine that, but a whole fucking star system away???

- LINGO. Military lingo, planetary lingo (see above), sign language etc. give me different forms of communication outside Basic, used in both the formal and informal settings. (name calling in ASL/BSL during a briefing, talking about shinies in front of their faces in a language they don’t yet understand, talking about Jedi in front of their faces in a language they don’t understand.) Clones are told all that they are is property but damn if that property isn’t going to be able to talk shit about you to your face.

- To add on... Mando’a???? Is it innate? Is it learned? Did Jango Fett personally sit every clone ever down and teach them how to say Cat and Dog and Yes and No? Does every clone know it, or only those who sought it out? Literally it’s the most impersonal personal thing. “You, a thing who was made for combat, who looks exactly like millions of others, know one language of BILLIONS in the galaxy, purely because the man whose hair we based your genetic makeup off of knows it.” like WHAT

- HELMETS. BEING. SO. VERY. PERSONAL. Everything you see, speak, hear, smell is filtered through that bucket on your head. Are HUDs customisable? Is wearing or touching someone else’s bucket a no-no? Who’s watching telenovelas on guard duty?

- Speaking OF helmets: When your waking hours are constantly covered by your bucket, how do bodily “tells” betray what your face can’t? People acclimate. How common is it to be able to read your brother’s emotions like a fucking book based purely on how squared his hip is in parade rest, or which shoulder is higher than the other at attention?

- Or even just armor. Dude, that is literally the only thing between their skin and certain death by laser bolt. You ever talked to an athlete? And how picky they are about what cleats they wear or what goggles they use, or what percentage Gatorade their water is? We’re incorrigible. Imagine that, but the choice made results in how mobile you are, or how much laser to the shoulder you can stand.

- Time is so fucking short and they all must know that. I think I’ve used the line, “the average lifespan of a clone is measured in months, not years,” and boy does that fucking hit. How do you handle life when you were made to be snuffed out by it?

To conclude, I have many thoughts about the minute details of a working army that is comprised of identical people created, raised, and sent off to die for a war they didn’t start. Sounds a little ridiculous when you say it out loud, but between the show itself, fanart, and fucking fanfiction, it’s a little hard not to attribute human nuances to the show that exemplified my childhood. I’m an adult and it is my very highly specifically adult choice to psychoanalyse this show, and you can bet I’ll throw hands with Disney at any time.

“When my creator cares not how I face death, only that it is for them, how do I use the time death allows me? Cruel is my maker to have given me eyes to see and ears to hear the world, but denied me the chance to explore it. I can only hope that those who follow see what I could not, and that eventually a painting of all the world will be born through the eyes of the many.”

[wrenhyperfixates]

Party Favors

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: Loki comes to the rescue when your nephews’ birthday party is on the brink of disaster. Warnings: some curse words and implied smut; fluff

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

“No! Don’t run there. It’s slippery.”

“Hang on, the bathroom’s right inside.”

“There’s going to be cake later, and you don’t want to get a tummy ache.”

Gosh, kids were tiring. You’d promised your sister, Katie, that you’d help out at your nephews’ birthday party. It was a sticky summer afternoon, but the heat did nothing to slow down the thirty-something kids running around the backyard. Between neighbors, classmates, and camp friends, the birthday boys had quite the guest list. Your sister and brother-in-law were both chaperoning the party, along with some other parents, but you were still outnumbered. Even if you weren’t, kids in large groups seem to have a penchant for trouble. It sure didn’t help that they were all at the age where chaos seemed like average fun.

Spotting the twins, you decided to take a few photos for your sister, who was busy running around to make sure everything was running smoothly. “Hey, Timmy. Hey, Tommy. How’re my favorite nephews today?” you said after snapping a few shots.

“But Auntie (y/n),” Timmy started, “we’re your only nephews.”

“Yeah, and we’re eight now,” Tommy continued for his brother. “You can’t trick us anymore.”

“We’re big boys now,” they finished together.

“I guess you are,” you replied, laughing. “Not too big for the bouncy house, I hope.”

“Of course not, Auntie. Bye!” they shouted, running towards the inflatable castle.

You walked over to the boys’ father, Lucas, and helped him check all the Slip 'N Slides and water balloon supplies. Just when you thought you might get through the day without any disasters, your sister came running up to you and Lucas.

“The clown just cancelled. There was a huge traffic jam and he can’t make it in time,” she said in a conspiratorial whisper.

“That’s all right,” Lucas said. “I’ve been saving some grade-A dad jokes for a situation like this.”

Both you and Katie groaned, eliciting a hurt scoff from her husband. And then a genius idea hit you.  

“Wait a minute, guys. I literally work with superheroes.”

A few years ago, you’d scored a position at Stark Industries and, though you’d never worked in the field, often helped the team from the lab. You’d even played a large role in designing Tony’s latest suit.

“Could you really get one of them to come? I mean, aren’t they busy?” your sister asked.

Truth be told, you weren’t sure that they were free, but they definitely owed you a favor. You’d saved their butts more times than you could count. It was, at very least, worth a try. You found the quietest place you could, then called Tony. Then Thor. Then Steve. Then Nat. None of them picked up. In a desperate last attempt, you phoned the Tower hoping someone would pick up. F.R.I.D.A.Y. answered and confirmed the presence of one Avenger in the Tower. You immediately asked her to put them on, not bothering to check who it was.

“Hi. I have an urgent matter and need to call in a favor.”

“And since when do I owe you one?” a smooth baritone came from the other end of the line.

Shit, you thought, of all the people in the Tower it had to be him. You and Loki got along well enough, but you weren’t friends, per se. The two of you constantly kept up a witty banter that was often flirtatious. The others teased you about it, and you were sure they placed bets on which one of you would ask the other out first. That, of course, was stupid, as Loki obviously did not feel that way about you. And how you felt? Well, it was best not to dwell on it.

“Oh, hi Loki. Sorry, you weren’t who I was expecting. Where’s everyone else?”

“Out at the movies. They should be back in half an hour, if your urgent matter can wait that long.” You let out a frustrated groan, which prompted him to say, “Well, that’s certainly not how I imagined getting that sound out of you.”

You were thankful he wasn’t there to see you blush. You didn’t know if you could wait that long for the rest of the Avengers. That didn’t even include the time it would take for them to actually arrive. You were about to hang up and tell Katie she better try to find a replacement clown or magician when you got your second great idea that afternoon.

“Loki,” you said, “I’m sending you my location. Just come over as fast as you can. I’ll explain when you get here.”

Then you hung up before he could respond. You raced to the front of the house to wait but were nervous that he wouldn’t show. You didn’t have long to worry, though, because he suddenly materialized, making you jump a little. Sometimes you forgot that he could teleport.

“Your savior is here,” he declared, striking a dramatic pose.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Yeah, yeah. My hero,” you said before explaining the situation to him.

“Well, I’m afraid I’m not very popular with the masses, (y/n). I think you’d be better off waiting for one of the others.”

You couldn’t help but notice how he tried to hide the sadness behind those words. Before he could leave, you protested, “Kids may love superheroes, but you know what they love even more? Magicians!”

He raised a skeptical eyebrow at that. “I’m not sure how you came to that conclusion. Besides, I don’t much appreciate being reduced to a mere magician.” He stopped for a second to tap his chin as if deep in thought, before continuing, “But, I suppose if you ask nicely, I might consider it.”

You made your best puppy dog eyes and stuck out your lower lip while giving him a pouty please. He considered you for a moment before responding.

“Very well,” he said. “I will save you this time. Just remember that you owe me. In fact, I’ve already got just the thing in mind.”

The devilish grin he gave you with that last part caused an involuntary shiver to run down your spine. He noticed but decided not to push his luck. Besides, he genuinely found it cute. In fact, he found everything about you cute. However, he refused to acknowledge the way his heart beat faster when you took his hand to lead him into the house. As you were walking, he conjured a classic magician outfit for himself. Though, he opted to have green accents instead of the traditional red. When you turned back around to face him, you couldn’t stop the girlish giggle that escaped your lips.

“Like what you see, darling?” he asked, striking a pose.

“Oh, fuck off.”

Despite your harsh response, you were blushing. As much as you were loath to admit it, he was rather dashing in the suit and top hat. You felt a sudden rush of nervousness as you introduced him to Katie and Lucas. You could see on their faces that they were trying to figure out where they knew Loki from. The second they connected the dots, their faces fell, but the reassuring smile you gave them must have worked since they started gathering the kids for the show. In all honesty, you hadn’t thought about their reaction to his being there. Or the other parents’ reaction, for that matter. It was hard to remember that the world was still clinging to the madman he’d been at the battle of New York when you knew he was just a witty prankster. Actually, he did a lot of good for the world. To you, he was just Loki.

You offered him a grateful smile as he stepped up in front of the kids and introduced himself as Loki the Magnificent. For as reluctant as he was in agreeing to this, he was putting on quite a show for them. It was a good thing, too, considering how brutally honest kids could be. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding when it became apparent how enraptured all the children were with his act. He even brought Timmy and Tommy onstage to assist him with a few tricks. You made sure to take tons of pictures, partly for your sister, but mainly to tease Loki with later.

Once he finished his last trick, the kids were seated at various tables and the cake was brought out. You wanted to run up to Loki and thank him, but you had to help distribute the cake. After double checking that all the kids got a slice, you brought a piece to Loki.

“Hey, you were great up there. And I guess you really saved my ass,” you said, mumbling the last part.

“It was my pleasure. Believe it or not, I had fun.”

He raised a bit of cake on his fork in a sort of salute to you. You fully expected him to leave once he finished eating, but, to your surprise, he stayed even after all the guests had gone. You two were cleaning up the junk in the backyard when you found yourself thanking him again.

“Really,” you said, “I don’t know what we would have done without you.”

“Well mortal, let this be a lesson on how superior I am and-”

His sentence was cut short by you dumping a bucket of water down his back. You were laughing so hard that you didn’t notice him get one of his own to return the favor. You shrieked in delight as he started hurling leftover water balloons at you. You ran away from him, but his aim was impeccable. Pretty soon, you were drenched. Though you were able to seize some ammunition of your own, you were no match for the god.

“Okay, okay,” you shouted to him, bent over, trying to catch your breath. “Truce.”

“No way,” he replied, running up behind you and grabbing you by the waist. Lifting you into the air and spinning, he said, “I’m claiming this as a victory!”

Your laughter was making such a racket that Katie came to see what was going on. Through giggles, you apologized to her, but she just waved you off. Seeing as you and Loki were both sopping wet, she thanked you for all your help and sent you home to dry off. You wondered why she didn’t let you stay there to do so, but the smirk on her face answered that. Rolling your eyes at her, you said goodbye and then shouted farewells to Lucas and your nephews, who were inside.

You and Loki made your way to your car in a peaceful silence. You offered him a ride, but he insisted on teleporting you home instead. Only problem was, he brought you straight to his bedroom, not your home. You gave him a quizzical look that demanded he explain himself.

“Don’t forget, little one. You owe me a favor.”

“Oh yeah? Bring it on.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After their movie ended, the Avengers tried to return your calls. You never did pick up. They didn’t have to wonder why for long, though. The sounds coming from a certain bedroom answered that question perfectly.

[carmenxjulia]

I put together a transcript of the 2 hour Q&A Interview the Carmen Sandiego Discord did with Showrunner Duane Capizzi. All of the questions were submitted by server members. You can read everything below the break!

Duane Capizzi:

Hi there!

Am I in? Is this thing on?

PizzaHorse:

Hi, welcome!

Yep, you're in the right place!

Duane Capizzi:

Sorry I'm late, I was wandering around some empty Discord hallways looking for the right room haha

PizzaHorse:

No worries. Let's get started!

Who is your favorite character?

Duane Capizzi:

Moose Boy!

KIDDING!

Alright, how to NOT get myself in trouble if my answer isn't "Carmen" haha.

But really, they are ALL my babies.

So I know it's going to sound like a cop out to some that I can't pick just one. But hmm, some for instances...

I love that she's so morally evolved at such a young age; her ability to always take the high road and never lower herself; her drive and conviction and dedication. Her ability to kick serious booty and look good while doing it. Her progressive values, her fashion sense. I could go on and on. But then there's Shadowsan and his arc; Chase and his. Julia, who's every bit as strong as Carmen but shows it in different ways. The Cleaners don't get enough love.

I'll close that question with an anecdote about The Cleaners ...

I love that all our characters are embraced and that everyone seems to have favorites. Our sound engineer Marcel is a pretty serious guy: he has a serious job that takes high levels of focus and attention. He's always deeply focused and not prone to small talk. Anyway, we were in the middle of our first or second sound mix, and he suddenly stops in the middle and turns around to face us. I'm thinking, "uh oh, we're giving too many notes." That's when I notice he's freeze framed the Cleaners. He says "I really like these guys." Then he turns around, hits play and gets back to work.

PizzaHorse:

What was the biggest challenge for coming up with new stories and plot for the reboot?

Duane Capizzi:

THE biggest? Sigh. I'm not sure I could come up with just one. Plotting is always challenging and we had the brain trust of the room, our trusty white board, and writer assistant to keep the threads of the ongoing storyline together. I think the single biggest ONGOING challenge was tracking which character knew what at any given time.

The caper part was challenging - coming up with new capers and keeping them interesting and fresh. But, it was the characters and their interactions that kept things fresh and interesting. Another museum heist? That's okay - Chase is on the case and he gets to interact with "X" this time (for instance).

There were also some episodes - Duke of Vermeer and Crackle Goes Kiwi come to mind - where there was SO MUCH SET UP needed to get the payoffs to work. I was really worried about too much talk/too much detail. Very "Swiss watch!" It took a lot of work to make sure it all clicked and was clear - hopefully it seems effortless on screen but I can't say there wasn't some sweat and the occasional tear (mostly from me - I'm a big cry baby

But really, what made it fun was that we had so many buckets to draw from: sometimes a story germ initially began with a character idea; sometimes it was inspired by global location; sometimes it was a clever way to update or reimagine an idea from old Carmen lore. Usually, it was some combination of all of the above!

PizzaHorse:

What was your favorite scene to write?

Duane Capizzi:

I think we have a theme here! "How can I pick just one ...?"

As a film buff, I got to indulge in some serious fan nerdery on this show: I got to write spy movies, yakuza movies, spaghetti neo-westerns (though turning it on its head: spaghetti westerns usually involve REVENGE and because of Carmen's character make up, this was sort of anti-revenge).

Is writing coming up with the idea or typing it? Haha. An "if a tree falls in the forest" question. The writing team and I had so many cathartic "that's how it goes" in the room. But on my own, writing the Pilot, was a very inspiring time for me: I remember laughing out loud the moment I thought of Chase falling on his own car (in part because of doing my spin on "that trope" that we've seen in so many hard boiled movies recently). But also how emotional I got when I imagined the simple but potent image of Black Sheep deciding to take her destiny into her own hands and walk that long corridor to the Faculty who we were about to meet for the first time.

I think I've cited this in another interview, but there was a period where I was completely immersed in Chase's arc and the scene where he would crack the location of VILE island ... by listening to Julia in a dream ... was a big one for me. It revealed he was finally open to admitting he needed Julia more than he would ever admit - yet, it was his own subconscious speaking.

The next morning, after cracking that scene, I bumped into Raf Petardi (voice of Chase) ... at the supermarket! It was very strange and hilarious

PizzaHorse:

Did you scrap any lengthy or funny scenes that you would be able to share?

Duane Capizzi:

With few exceptions, most scene cuts are done at the script stage so that the story board team doesn't waste effort over boarding. A variety of trims to any script are common, but they are usually for the better

The easier question to answer might be scenes were part of our "wish list" at writer room stage, but never made it to story or script. I hesitate to go too deep here (in the event that we might ever do more Carmen episodes in this canon - I'm not giving up hope). And there were cases where things we wanted to do earlier in the series wound up getting nixed or not fitting for whatever reason, but we got them in later - USUALLY FOR THE BETTER. So there's sort of a reverse Murphy's Law/rule of good fortune somehow in these things. But some fun things that didn't make it into the show, that leap to mind were: a Bollywood dance sequence (!). A Vegas caper involving Brunt wanting to steal an Elvis jumpsuit against the backdrop of an Elvis impersonator convention. We also thought it would be neat to get Maelstrom imprisoned so that Julia could interrogate him and he would play mind games with her - very Lector/Clarice!

PizzaHorse:

Were there any different treatments of Carmen you pitched before settling on the one we ended up with?

Duane Capizzi:

I was one of several "pitches" that I'm sure HMH heard before running with my version. But I can honestly say I've never pitched anything as fully formed: the take on Carmen felt so right to me, and clearly HMH and by extension Netflix agreed

I'll answer your question with an anecdote: I had the entire Pilot pretty well worked out, and pitched it in the first meeting. But one key thing that changed (much for the better!), simply because it wouldn't have fit without slogging things down ...

In my Pilot pitch, Black Sheep's escape on the boat was off screen: we see Shadowsan corner her, then we cut away. The rest of the Faculty show up to find SS's broken sword on the rocks, and are led to believe BS killed him (!). In the present, Crackle points his weapon at Carmen and prepares to pull the trigger. We know that Chase is on the way and may rescue her. The compartment door opens to reveal - not Chase - but Shadowsan! Big surprise! Then we cut back to BS's escape and find out what really transpired etc etc.

Crazy, right? SS would have been hanging out with the gang in season 1; we might not have gotten to 203 with his back story, since his sword was broken and he couldn't return it. Just one of those magical things where "things work out" the way they are supposed to. THAT SAID, it made for a heckuva pitch

PizzaHorse:

Are there any characters that ended up taking a direction you didn't initially anticipate?

Duane Capizzi:

GRAY.

I didn't know we'd make him amnesiac when I wrote the Pilot, that was something we came up with in our first week Writer Room.

And even then, when it became clear he'd be a key piece of the bigger puzzle, we didn't know how exactly (mostly the Season 4 stuff).

We did get very deep with a version where 404 ended with his protective streak for Carmen kicking into high gear, and they would be fighting off Vile Guards back to back in perfect tandem. Then, having chosen Carmen over VILE, it was Carmen who actually orchestrates Gray going "off grid" so that VILE can never find him again. Funny, I know that is arguably the version of Gray's arc that many fans might have preferred seeing. But in the tradition of spy thrillers and film noir, and for a lone wolf character like Carmen who is focused on her life mission and not romance, we stand behind where we went with him. We felt it was so much more compelling ... and truly more emotional that he totally has a get out of jail free card when he sacrifices everything (including his life, potentially) to save Carmen.

when she needs him most!

I know I made some controversial comments about Gray "not being good enough for Carmen" and I'd like to clarify that I meant, until that final episode. What he did was so selfless and heroic. Is there hope for them in the future? Who knows?! But I do hope we get to explore that one day

I'm sure Gray is living off the grid somewhere now, inspired by Carmen's selfless good and thinking of her from time to time.

PizzaHorse:

You mentioned in the interview with Alicyn that Carmen is a love story, but you were cut off before you could finish discussing. Could you elaborate on your answer now?

Duane Capizzi:

Ugh, yes! Sorry about that. I actually answered that privately for someone so will cut and paste that response here. Let's see if it works.

Something we never said in the show, but something I imparted to the creative team was: Carmen Sandiego is (among other things) a LOVE STORY, where every character in our ensemble is in love with Carmen in one way or another. Even if they don't know it! That love can take different forms: we see how spurned by Carmen Coach Brunt feels and why she retaliates so excessively. Chase eventually comes to realize that he too loves Carmen, even if he wasn't initially aware of it haha. One of the most moving things to me about the series is how all of the different factions come to Carmen's rescue at the end when she's not "in her right mind," without knowing the others are there too. It's a massive group effort to bring back the Carmen they love. But we weren't looking for a fairy tale ending for Carmen with ANYone - Carmen's a classic lone wolf anti-hero, that goes with the territory. At least at this stage in her journey.

PizzaHorse:

Were there other locations that you wanted to feature in the show that didn't make it?

Duane Capizzi:

I think we managed to cover a lot of ground and "cadence" between different countries/cultures/continents was important to us. Many "iconic" locations of course, and it would have been nice to explore some lesser known locations if we had more episodes.

One that we almost did was Niagara Falls, Canada - actually literally going to the Falls and doing a big hydro-electric caper, where Player could actually get into the field with Carmen and the team.

But ultimately, we wound up bringing Player into the fold the way we did and wound up stronger as a result. It made his "first face to face" with Carmen even more impactful, IMO.

PizzaHorse:

Were there any changes in production between the first half and the second half of the series?

Duane Capizzi:

Well, there was that Covid thing

But while it was no doubt a colossal undertaking to get the entire staff transitioned to work from home (animators! and their equipment!), we managed to make up for lost time WITHOUT a dip in animation quality. My fedora's off to our amazing team at Wildbrain for pulling it off!

We did lose some staff between orders, but that is a natural part of production unfortunately. Namely, one of our episodic directors Kenny Park, our first storyboard artist Dennis Crawford, and our story editor May Chan were among those who moved on to other shows during the break. But, as hard as their shoes were to fill, fill them we did!

PizzaHorse:

What is your favorite season?

Duane Capizzi:

Easy. Hands down, Season 3.

(crickets)

KIDDING!

Again, another "they're all my babies" answer (and yes, I love Season 3 equally

It's hard, because really when you step back I'm sure you'll agree it's a series, with stand alone capers; but it's really all ONE BIG MOVIE.

Season 3 is like the scherzo of a symphony: the shortest movement of four, and the one that tees up the big finale.

That's my hoity toity answer but I'm going to put to rest all of the various theories on what happened with season 3. It was a combination of two things: Netflix's desire to experiment with different ways of "dropping" seasons, and their desire to do a holiday themed drop (in this case Halloween, naturally). It became our challenge to come up with a theme (easy enough: masks), and the bigger challenge to serve their need while not interrupting our ongoing narrative. A challenge to be sure, but a challenge met. I think the biggest bump was perception: it was a short season and I know that was disappointing to many. But, by design.

So, Season 3 = an essential part of the whole. I don't think there's a wasted episode, and it gets everyone into position for the big finish. I can't pick a favorite season - you can't make me

PizzaHorse:

Were there any characters you had wanted to give more time to but couldn't due to time/plot restraints?

Duane Capizzi:

Well, there's the "what was on the white board" answer but hopefully some of those ideas will see the light of day in some way, shape or form some day. I think if we had more episodes, we would have shaken up the internal dynamic of VILE a bit more (as hinted at Brunt's displeasure with Maelstrom for leaving her hanging out to dry at end of 405 - a seed we planted "just in case," as some have noted). And we had more scenes in mind with Chase's partnering with Carmen for the first time that we had to cut to the bone because of what little room we had in that otherwise packed episode (worry not: it's mostly more gags, more embellishment, more twists and turns - but the important stuff is there). Mostly, and I don't think it would have been right for Season 4 but I hope to tell in the future, I think there's an interesting history between Shadowsan and Lady Dokuso - possibly tragic - that I would love to explore one day. (She was a cameo in Duke of Vermeer at the dinner party BTW, I'm not sure if anyone noticed. And we built a bigger role for her out of that)

PizzaHorse:

What are some pre-2000/nostalgic Carmen references you snuck into the show? Do you have a favorite reference that was included?

Duane Capizzi:

Doing that was so much fun! I'd say roughly 60% of the characters were from previous iterations of Carmen, though often in name only. We had fun reimagining most everyone to make them more relevant or updated or giving them a more colorful personality for starters.

"Suhara" was Carmen's Japanese mentor when she worked at the ACME Agency in a flashback episode in the 90's series, for instance. I don't think I need to spell out how we turned that one inside out

And Tigress was also one episode only: she was a "rival thief" to Carmen, but revealed to be an ACME agent in disguise - a persona created solely to bait Carmen. It was really cool of course, but it seemed like untapped potential so we made her an ACTUAL Vile Thief.

My own internal rule was to make sure the references/easter eggs wouldn't confuse anyone - they were there for those who were in the loop and window dressing. The one and only time i broke that rule was Dark Carmen's line from 407: "I do it for the mental gymnastics." It was one of the most absurd lines from the 90's series (IMO) and i was determined to have it come out of Dark Carmen's mouth. I'm sure it left some 7 year olds scratching their heads

aside from that, the key references were the music: I still tingle at how we worked the Rockapella theme into the Interactive Special; and the 90's main title theme (composed by Mozart!), in our Vienna episode ("They're playing my song"). If you wanted Rockapella or Carmen as a bad guy, well ... be careful what you wish for!

PizzaHorse:

Was there any improvised content from recording sessions that made it into any episodes?

Duane Capizzi:

Yes! Not much, because a lot of it would have pushed us into TV-MA haha

Mostly Mary Elizabeth - Coach Brunt has a POTTY MOUTH!

Mikey and Abby usually riffed their banter WAY beyond what was on the written page and had us in stitches. Some bits definitely made it in! But mostly there was too much or it would get off point (hmmm, much like my interview answers maybe? haha)

Sharon Muthu did rise to Pun Goddess status with "Mask and you shall receive." And Raf pitched me "Chasse means hunt in French" after one session and I said: "I'm going to write that in." I don't think he believed me. You can't say I'm not a straight shooter.

PizzaHorse:

If you could get more season, would you do it, and what type of story would you tell?

Duane Capizzi:

Well if that hasn't been clear so far, ABSOLUTELY

There have been discussions of course. It's up to the powers that be at this point. I will say this: the beauty and tradition so far has been that every iteration has been its own thing. I definitely think there are more "different canon" versions of Carmen that can be had and be a part of this wonderful tradition. After all, there were many naysayers for our version when it was first announced.

I will also say that if we don't get to tell any more stories in this canon with these characters, we've left a perfect gem that will stand the test of time. I would rather go out on a high note than overstay our welcome.

All that said, we worked within the allotted episodes given, ended it as we wished, but left the door open for other stories. I'd love to do an expansion and a deepening: pick up where we left off; find out what happened in those two years; and proceed to do the equivalent of Godfather II or Better Call Saul as related to the amazing originals they followed.

Let's hope! Keep putting good vibes out there!

PizzaHorse:

If you could pick a character on Carmen Sandiego who'd you switch places with for a day (you get to control their life and they get to control yours) who would you pick, and why?

Duane Capizzi:

Okay, THIS is difficult. So you're going Freaky Friday on me?

on a Sunday?

Hmmm, I know Ivy would get along with my cat ... but then I'd have to hang out with Zack!

That's the trick: I can't pick my favorites cuz I couldn't hang out with them!

(not that I have favorites - they're all my babies haha)

Okay, I have one: ROUNDABOUT. I could fill Shadowsan's seat - how cool is that? Then, I could enact all my evil fantasies - but still have a get out of jail free card cuz he'd be sitting at my desk!

(cut to Duane being brain wiped - D'oh!)

PizzaHorse:

Who are two characters who don't really interact in the show that you think could be good friends or work really well together?

Duane Capizzi:

Hmmmm. Okay, now I'm going to give you quick and sassy answers. Gray and Julia! They'd be so cute banding together to rescue captive Carmen (for instance). And they could also duke it out and maybe settle things between themselves re: shipping controversies instead of dragging me into it

PizzaHorse:

The FINAL QUESTION. Have you learned anything super impactful while working on the show?

Duane Capizzi:

Aside from Iceland's terrifically low crime rate?

I think I have learned to never underestimate how meaningful characters can be to fans. Social media has obviously brought us a lot closer to our fan base in more immediate ways: it's been really gratifying to hear/see/read feedback and not be writing things in a vacuum. It's been gratifying to see that ideas that were meaningful to myself and the creative team on Carmen that were crafted with care, have also resonated with our fan base. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE who has traveled on this journey with us - for embracing Carmen's world view, and her friends and foes alike. Take care everyone! Stay safe! This has been fun, thanks for having me!

PizzaHorse:

HUGE thank you to Duane Capizzi: for being here today.

Thank you everyone for watching and reacting!

Duane Capizzi:

Okay, gotta run - just gotta find the door

Anyway, really: THIS HAS BEEN AMAZING. I speak for everyone involved in the creation and production of Carmen: it has been an amazing and inspiring series and we're elated to see it connect with such a CREATIVE, TALENTED and INTELLIGENT fan base. Take care everyone! Until next crime...

[firemblem-fics]

parents? PT. 1 | claude

firstly this is the longest thing ive ever written yay

secondly, this is only a part one. this is kind of introducing it! the good stuff will happen in part two i promise just give me a bit! thank u 

Warnings: cursing, death, angst, claudes an asshole but also so are you at times, Claude makes a jab at single parenting just for the sake of the story I’m sorry

— — —

The village was in ruins. Nobody was spared in the fire as three demonic beasts rampaged through the rubble. The Golden Deer house fought valiantly to save everybody, but oftentimes such a thing simply could not happen. The beasts were too strong, knocking out four of the team’s own fighters before they finally defeated them. 

Many people, like Marianne, were visibly distraught at such a tremendous loss. She was being comforted by Lysithea, who only held a rather troubled look in her eyes. Ignatz seemed crestfallen as well, as did some others. You, on the other hand, were rather angry. You were furious at the destruction around you. The fires, the destroyed homes, the lost lives. 

It was under Claude’s leadership that these people weren’t saved. The professor was dealing with other matters, so she couldn’t be there to lead. Mistakes were made and they cost people their lives. You’d never truly cared for the boy, finding his “schemes” and his cocky and nosy personality rather annoying, but this was the icing on the cake for you.

Bristling in anger, you marched over to said boy, pointing a harsh finger into his chest. “This is YOUR fault.”

“My fault?” Claude nearly laughed. “Yeah, sure, some things happened, but that's what happens in battle, Y/N. This was a collective failure.” 

“Those things cost people their lives, Claude. I can’t believe you’re so inconsiderate.”

Claude’s eyes lit up a little in frustration. “I'm inconsiderate? As if I didn’t try my hardest to save everyone? I’m new at leading. I’m only 17, if you don’t fucking remember. It’s not like I knew this was going to happen-“

A loud wail interrupted him. You furrowed your brows, looking at Claude before turning and looking around. 

“What’s that?” 

Claude shrugged, “A survivor, I hope.” 

You ignored him and ran in the direction of the noise, stopping at a charred house. The fire had stopped, but the crying hadn’t. As you walked inside the burnt skeleton of the house, you hoped that the fire didn’t seriously hurt someone. They’d have trouble making it back to the monastery to be healed. 

Another cry sounded as you moved into another room of the house. There, underneath a small, wooden-framed bed, laid a child. He was no older than 6, tears making trails down his ash-covered face. You kneeled down, trying to make yourself less intimidating to coax him out. 

“Hey buddy,” You reached a hand out, internally grimacing as the little boy flinched away, “We’re not here to hurt you. We need to get you somewhere safe.” 

The little boy looked around. “Wh-where is everybody?” 

Your heart broke and you looked back at Claude, who had followed you, your eyes pleading for help. He sighed and knelt down beside you. “They all had to leave. It was really, really dangerous so they had to keep you safe. We’re here now to keep you even safer.”

That seemed to have calmed the little boy down at least a little. He slowly and shakily walked towards you. You held out both arms, silently asking to pick him up. He obliged and nearly crawled into you and you wrapped yourself tightly around him, whispering reassurances as he sat on your hip. You looked at Claude next, your face asking, “What the hell do we do?” 

Claude only shrugged and walked back to the rest of the team, leaving you to trail slowly behind. You’d take him back to the monastery and go from there. The orphanage was rather full- there was no way they’d be able to care for another one. 

--- --- ---

“We can’t help him in the way that you’re asking, Y/N. I apologize.” 

Your heart dropped. Rhea had asked you to talk to the lady at the orphanage anyways, hoping that she would be able to accept him. Unfortunately, she couldn’t. 

“Then what’s the purpose of an orphanage?” You didn’t want to yell seeing as the boy- August, you’d learned- was sleeping on your hip. “Aren’t you supposed to take in kids? Help them? Raise them? He’s lost everything. And now he can’t even get a home?” 

The lady only sighed. “I’m really sorry. He wouldn’t be getting the attention that you’re asking me to provide. I’ve got other children to tend to.” She went to walk away, but then stopped. “Just keep him to yourself if you’re that worried about him.” She huffed, slamming the door closed behind her.

Keeping him? You thought. I wouldn’t be opposed, but I’ve got class. And fighting. And I’m seventeen. Ah, fuck it. My parents would love him. 

You walked away, careful not to wake August, and made your way to the audience chambers where Rhea was. You’d only hoped she’d let you take responsibility. But you’d never given her a reason not to trust you, right?

“Absolutely not.” 

Wrong. 

“What? Seteth, why not? I’m responsible.I can do it- August’s well behaved. And- and I’ve got my friends too. They can help a little. He’s not a helpless baby and he can do things on his own, he just trusts me a little more to help him.” You pleaded. At this point, you knew that nobody would take care of him. You couldn’t just leave him. 

“You’re just a child yourself, Y/N. You know nothing about raising a child.” He argued back. 

“Neither do new parents! What are you gonna do next, tell new parents that they can’t keep their first child? Please, I’m responsible. Lady Rhea, tell him I’m responsible.” You turned to the Archbishop, who was simply standing there.

“I believe this will be a good experience. Y/N has never given me any reason to distrust her.”

“Lady Rhea, this is absurd-”

“However, she has to find someone to assist her if the workload becomes too much to handle. I, on the other hand, will take a look into the orphanage to see what we can do. The only absurdity here is how they have turned away children.” 

“Thank you, Lady Rhea. I won’t disappoint you.” With that, you left the chambers and walked through the yards, ignoring the strange looks that people gave you as you headed back to the Golden Deer Classroom. August stayed on your hip with his head resting against your shoulders, his small fingers twirling your hair around. 

You stopped outside of the classroom and called the little boy’s name, waiting until he looked at you to continue. “We’re gonna go learn now, but you’ve gotta stay quiet. If you need to talk, whisper to me, okay?”

August nodded. “Yes ma’am.” 

Hm, he has manners. That’s perfect. 

You quietly opened the door, hoping that nobody would notice. Your hopes were in vain. Everyone turned around at the sound of the giant doors, their eyes moving from you to the little blonde boy on your hip. Reactions varied- Hilda practically cooed at him while Lorenz could only watch you take the only open seat with disgust. You were disgusted too, but it was because the only open seat was next to Claude. As Byleth resumed teaching, Claude slid a note over to you. 

‘Was single parenting on your bucket list?’ 

You rolled your eyes, looking over at August to make sure he wasn’t watching you write before replying. 

‘Fuck you. Rhea said that I need to have someone help me if I have trouble, and just for that comment I’ll ask for it to be you.’ 

Claude read the note and chuckled quietly, crumpling it up and putting it in his pocket. You assumed that the conversation was over, so you allowed August to crawl into your lap and lay against you to have a small nap. The poor kid had a long day, after all. This didn’t stop Claude from leaning over to you and whispering. 

“So, does that mean you’ll call me daddy?” 

You choked on your own spit suddenly, waking up August and making your other classmates look at you. Byleth turned around and gave you a look, but you could only wave them off as you kept coughing. You glared at Claude, who had a grin on his face. God, he loved watching you suffer, didn’t he?

He kept smirking at you, but lost it when you grew your own. If he was going to tease you about helping a kid, you were going to make sure he’d pay the price. As his eyebrows furrowed a little with worry, you asked, “Can you walk with me to see Lady Rhea after class?” 

--- --- ---

“Lady Rhea, I told you she wasn’t responsible enough. Look, she comes back two hours later and already requests for assistance.” 

First of all, Fuck you Seteth. Second of all, this was just revenge. 

“Okay, listen, I don’t know why I’m here either-”

“I’d like to request assistance just in case. Say I have to take a shower or do something and August can’t be with me? I’d like to be able to have someone else help care for him when I might not be able to for a bit.” You interrupted Claude. 

“What makes you think that Claude is a good candidate to help you? Why are you choosing him?” Seteth retorted. 

Spite, you wanted to say. “He’s the leader of the Golden Deer. Heir to the Alliance. He’s been able to take care of us through battles and such, how much harder could it be to help take care of one child? Even then, I’ll only need his help for a few minutes at a time.” You said. Damn, you were good at acting like you actually tolerated him. 

“Lady Rhea, Seteth, please, I don’t want-”

“Plus, would you really trust anyone else in the Golden Deer to help me?” You cut him off again. 

Claude could only glare at you as Rhea weighed her decision. You smirked before turning to check on August, who had occupied himself by spinning in circles around a column. You whispered August’s name to get his attention, holding out your hand as he came towards you. He placed his smaller hand in yours and stood patiently in between you and Claude

Rhea’s face soon bloomed into a soft smile. “Whenever you need assistance, Claude will be there.”

You thanked her and bowed, following behind the Alliance heir as he nearly stormed out of the chambers. When you got outside, he whipped around to face you. 

“What the hell was that?” He growled, “Revenge? For what, one simple comment? A little joke? And now I’m stuck waiting on you if you ‘ever need my assistance’, whatever that bullshit means.” 

You furrowed your eyebrows, pulling August close to you. “First of all, watch your language. He’s only six. Secondly, I think your comment was insensitive. You were making fun of single parents and my bucket list- which you know is a big deal for me.”

“Alright, whatever. I’m sorry for saying something about single parenting, I shouldn’t have, but I think I have the right to have an opinion about your dumb little list.”

“Claude, you don’t even know why it’s important to me, you just want a reason to make me upset-” 

“Well? You deserve to be upset. I’m upset too, because now I have to help a brat take care of a little brat. I didn’t ask for this shit.” Claude rolled his eyes and walked away. 

You stood still for a bit, watching him leave with angry tears in your eyes. You snapped out of it when a tiny hand pulled at your shirt. You looked at August. 

“Can we go ‘M sleepy.” He yawned. 

“Of course. We can go to my room and you can sleep for the rest of the night.” 

You made a mental note to grab dinner for the both of you once he was asleep and scooped him up, letting him doze off again against your shoulder as you walked back to your dorm room. The poor boy had a very rough day- and so did you. A nap sounded very nice. 

[datingintampafails]

Chapter 16: Ethan*: Part One

Ethan* was the one where when I said to my friends, “I don’t want to have to write a stupid ‘dating in Tampa’ chapter about this guy…. He’s a good egg.” But here I am, writing it. 

I matched with Ethan* on Bumble during a super busy work week, we chatted about things briefly on the app, and I mentioned that I might be able to do a video chat rather than an in-person date easier that week because of my schedule. He agreed to it and asked if that night would work. So our first date is a rather spontaneous video date. I made dinner for myself and was eating it about 20 minutes before our time we picked up, when a piece of mozzarella got stuck in my throat and I was choking. I managed to dislodge the mozzarella cheese stuck in my throat, but was afraid my voice might be weird since I had just stuck my hand down my throat to save my own life.

He had said that he tended to be a little awkward on the phone. Despite the disclaimer, I found him to be perfectly fine on the phone. I told him about my near death experience prior to the call, and we had a laugh about it. We gave each other tours of our homes. He owns his and has completely renovated his place, which is pretty cool. I admired the handiwork of his home, especially the “shiny floors” that he had redone. I learn some quirks about him, such as being homeschooled until college and that he doesn’t like chocolate (weird). He also had mentioned that he was born in Northern Virginia, about ten minutes away from where I grew up and lived there until he was five, before moving to St. Pete. He never had typical pets, but did take care of some squirrels and some lizards, straight Florida kid shit. We ended the call recognizing we got along and generally understood each other. I knew he was 26 but turns out that I was like ten days short of exactly a year older. He immediately after said he was “excited to hang out... soon.” and that we seem to have a lot in common. Agreed.

I let him know that I have some questions for him before that, but that I’ll get to them. The next day, rather than doing that, my friend Lauren inspires me to make a legitimate dating application. I create this thorough Google form, which includes serious questions, as well as some less serious questions which are unfortunately inspired by my previous dating experience, i.e. do you chew with your mouth open? are you a warlock?, etc. I send this to him, and he hesitantly does it after I ask him to. His comment at the end is “I thought this was dumb, but I actually had fun.” From this form, I learn that truly Ethan* does have some similar goals to me. He also doesn’t want children. I ask what people are looking for and he responds with “Unsure yet, but I am open to anything from casual friends with benefits all the way up to a long term relationship if we are a good match. I don't have any future goals but I enjoy companionship and sex and seek these out in a partner.“ Seems like a fair expectation, which is kind of where I am at too. I send that same application to different people that I’ve matched with at the time, but Ethan* is definitely my front runner.   

This guy didn’t really match up to my usual douchebag energy guy I usually go for. He was a college athlete, wide receiver and ran track, and definitely still kept up with his physique. He had curly bronde hair that was slightly receding on the sides, a six-pack, and nicely sculpted shoulders and back. I knew ahead of time he was on the shorter side, that is, not over six feet tall. He owns a boat and also has a pilot’s license and flies planes for fun. Things that were definitely unique and super cool. He asked me if I would ever go flying with him, to which I enthusiastically said that would be cool. He didn’t know that learning to fly is also something on my bucket list, I would actually never have the chance to tell him. 

That weekend, a few days after our virtual date, I was finally done with my marathon of working long days and said I would be down for meeting up. He mentions his plans with his friends were canceled that night, and we decide to do something that night. I let him know I have an appointment and can come over after that, around 6. We discuss what we are going to do, we decide on a night in. I suggest tacos, however, he responds by asking if I like Chipotle. I inform him that since we live in a place where there are much greater options for local taco places, which aren’t Chipotle and basic, we should get that instead.  He then suggests a place by him we can go to, and we agree on that. However, this is also coming from a guy who said Papa Johns was his favorite type of pizza. With pineapple. 

I go for a comfy but not trying too hard look for that night. Some athletic leggings from Uniqlo, and a crop top. Ironically, I believe that exact ensemble is in one of my photos on Bumble, in hindsight. I excitedly text him about it being 7/11, which is free slurpee day, and ask if we can go. He says there’s a 7 Eleven by him that we can go to. I finished my appointment, which was actually a lip and eyebrow wax, and drove to his place. He asks me to park on the street so that he can drive his car to the taco place, and I sarcastically tell him that he’s going to have to drive around my car in the driveway. I then mention I’m on the way and will see him soon.

Usually, by the time I am going to meet someone in person, I have given them my number or other ways to contact me outside of the original app. My friend had suggested to me that I try to stay on these apps communication wise, until a successful first date. I was trying to follow this advice and since Ethan* and I were still communicating exclusively on Bumble, I was following that advice. Granted, he hadn’t really asked me either to change communication methods, so it worked out.

 I message him “Aqui” when I pull up to his house, and as I start to get my things out of my car he emerges from the front door to greet me. Immediately as I walk up and analyze him, I feel bad as a wave of disappointment falls over me. He in no way lied about his height on his profile, but definitely I overestimated how tall his height was. Otherwise, he was 100% authentic and who he said he was. He meekly asks about my appointment and if everything is okay, specifically asking if it was a doctors’ appointment. I admit I was actually getting a wax, then he compliments me saying that my brows look really nice and he otherwise wouldn’t have said anything as it would seem weird.

I then say I’m hungry and we should go get food. I get out to his car, which is a super nice Jeep Grand Cherokee, with a leather interior. Despite the nice car, I look down at the floor of the passenger seat, which is entirely covered in discard receipts. 

I mention this to him, and he gets super embarrassed about forgetting to clear his car before I arrived. Upon looking at the receipts as I help him clean, I recognize many of them are from Taco Bell. We bond however over the amazingness of Baja Blast being the ultimate drink. I insist we go to 7 Eleven first to get our slurpees, since I don’t want the food getting cold/soggy. We find out it isn’t really free slurpee day, due to COVID-19, and instead it’s a get a medium free next time with your membership there or something. So I get a medium anyway, so at least mine is free.

Next, we pull up to the taco joint, which is basically you walk up to a door to order. We discuss the menu and agree that fish is gross. He orders for us both, which I love, and sit briefly at a colorful picnic table outside of the restaurant. We are there not even one minute, when he asks if we can go to the little market that’s next to the restaurant. I say sure, and we browse the market. He picks up some apples and some grapes, and we just sort of look around. We are joking around and I quiz him on the “best type of apple,” which is sort of an inside joke at my full time job. 

He finishes his purchases and we sit at a different picnic table, while waiting again for our food. They bring it out and we take it back to his place. In the car he’s going between rap and pop music. I’m more or less into anything but country, so it’s a fair vibe. I figure since he was on a football team, that was probably what he was used to listening to in the locker room. 

Now that we’re back at his place, I excuse myself to the restroom. A man’s private restroom always says something about the man. Does he clean his bathroom? How many products does he have? Does he have that singular shampoo/conditioner/body wash combo bottle in his shower? His toilet definitely could use a scrub, same with his shower, but otherwise pretty well kept and he had separate products in his shower. 

I’m still feeling iffy about the guy due to his height, and when I sit down on the cough with him, he asks if I like South Park. Unfortunately we find out that South Park has been taken off Hulu and so we look for a back up. Then he asks about Rick and Morty; I love that show, so we turn that on for us to watch while we eat. He too is a couch eater, which is good since his dining table literally has no chairs around it. 

We share some laughs, we eat the food, we drink the slurpees. Once there’s no longer food to eat, he asks if I want to cuddle. I say “uhm okay.” I remember a message he had sent me the day before where I said I hope he doesn’t try to cuddle in my lap like my dog, and he had responded “what if I did? jk. but really do you like to cuddle?” And I’m wondering if I’ve gotten myself into a stage 5 clinger situation. Somehow I become like the guy, as he is nuzzled onto my belly and I have my arm around him. Later he asks to spoon, and I’m like yeah that’s fine. As I’m sure that’s less awkward than what we’re doing now. Though if I wasn’t so uncertain about him, the previous position probably would have been cute and endearing. While we were cuddling, we talked about goals and briefly about my application. He talks more about how he flies planes on the side, and that his goal is to join the National Guard as a pilot. The cut off is 32, so essentially he wanted to gain more and more flying experience so he could join before the cutoff. I have never really been particularly interested in being involved with someone in the military, so that was almost a turn off for me. However, I did this it was good that he had solid goals he was continually working on.

Regardless, I’m still having a good time. He’s a nice and entertaining guy, and we mesh well. It starts to get late, so I mention it’s time I go. Before I leave, I remember we have still only been talking via Bumble, I ask him for his number. I then realize I also don’t know his last name, so I also ask for his last name. I realize his initials are “Eh,” which I find humorous, so I text him “eh” to let him know it’s me. Which also described how I was feeling at that moment. 

He then walks me to my car and I give him a hug, and then he kisses me. Even though I wasn’t really feeling kissy after this date, I realize it is actually a really nice kiss and tell him I’ll let him know when I get home. I think back to Aaron* where he wasn’t the best kisser, and think oh well that’s nice. 

I get home and stew over the date, thinking about what I’m going to do about this guy. He texts me the next day saying “Would it be bad if I already wanted to see you again tonight?” I tell him I have plans, which isn’t a lie, I do, and let him know I’m free the next night. We set up another hang out at his place. 

In my mind, I determine the way I’ll figure out my feelings is to sleep with him. “If the sex is good,” I think to myself, “then that should get me over the height thing. And if it’s terrible, then I’m outtie anyway.”

[osleyakomwonkru]

Failure of Empathy: Team Delinquents and the Undoing of Octavia Blake

A few weeks ago, I wrote about Team Adults, and how they failed Octavia in the bunker and then betrayed her the first chance they had after it was open. Today, we take a look at Octavia’s former friends who found themselves outside the bunker and how they failed her too.

While for the adults, the major way they failed Octavia was by not putting their experience into practice, the delinquents failed Octavia in a different way - empathy. Not one of them asked her what happened over those six years with an honest desire to know and understand. Not one of them acknowledged the difficult circumstances she must have led through or told her that she’d accomplished something extraordinary by uniting a group of people who mostly hated each other, and kept most of them alive despite the bunker’s expiration date passing a year earlier.

Then they proceeded to destroy the society she’d built, betraying her one step at a time. She also gave them the latitude to do so, because she believed that she could trust them. She believed that she could trust her friends, because they’d been through a lot together. Even when she was presented with evidence that she couldn’t trust them, her big heart still wanted to, and that trust was her undoing.

So let’s get into it, shall we?

Monty (and Harper)

I hate how fandom views these two as having made a “great sacrifice”. Seriously. They didn’t. They chose their peaceful life. They chose not to wake anyone else up, even when they could have helped in finding a new place to call home, because they didn’t want anyone else interfering with that peaceful life. Hell, they didn’t even start looking for a new place to live until 28 years after the others went to sleep. Them finding this new planet for the others to live on was their redemption.

Which brings us back to the purpose of this post - them and their relationship to Octavia. Octavia and Harper never really had one, so the focus here will be on Monty.

Now, Octavia and Monty have had an understanding and friendship going back to the early days of the dropship, when it was the two of them and Jasper. While in season 1 most of the others were all business, those three were the sweet kids trying to make the best of their situation. They always stood by each other, defended each other - until the irradiation of Mount Weather, and nothing was ever the same again after that.

And the reason it wasn’t ever the same again after that was Monty - for awhile I thought Monty’s callous attitude to Octavia in season 5 was an anomaly, but it really wasn’t, if you look at how Monty treated Jasper throughout a lot of season 3 and 4. Octavia was the only one who showed Jasper any sort of compassion in season 3, and Jasper then reciprocated that when Octavia lost Lincoln. Monty? He threw a bucket of cold water in Jasper’s face.

Monty does pretty much the same thing to Octavia in season 5. He actively doesn’t want to understand the trauma that Wonkru went through in the bunker, and while tough love is something that works in some circumstances, it isn’t something that you can apply with any sort of success to the deep-seated psychological trauma that Wonkru had.

It isn’t just Octavia either - when he’s talking to Cooper, and she says they’re marching to war and she never wants to see the bunker again, he brushes that off with a flippant “you did things to survive” and thinks that they should just get over it. A few episodes later, Octavia as good as tells him and Harper about the Dark Year - but they don’t seem to catch the underlying message of “you fight to live or you die - that is how I survived when this farm stopped feeding us” - and brush her off again.

Because of their lack of desire to understand her world - and why she needed out of that bunker - they put the final nails in the coffin of their own hopes of restoring a peaceful farm there. Cooper offered Monty the hydrofarm upon their departure for the war, and I do believe Octavia would have upheld that. But instead of staying in their new farm, Monty and Harper provided support for Traitor Squad for the next three episodes in their fruitless attempt at trying to stop an inevitable war (see post here) and destroyed their opportunity for peace on earth instead, because them proclaiming the restored farm to Wonkru was the straw that broke the camel’s back for Octavia (as detailed in this post here).

Clarke

Now, to her credit, Clarke was impressed by - and did want to understand - what happened in the bunker at first. She even told Bellamy that their survival was impressive. But what she should have done is told Octavia that too. It would have meant so much to her. Octavia’s heart would have warmed from Clarke’s story about Madi having “heard every story about the girl under the floor who saved the human race” - but she wasn’t that girl anymore, and hadn’t been for a long time. She needed a different kind of acknowledgment, and Clarke was well poised to offer it - she respected what Octavia had accomplished, she herself knew what it was like to have to make the hard choices, they should have been natural allies.

Instead, Clarke let Bellamy’s doubts eat at her, which resulted in her losing all sense of logic when Madi showed up. Clarke and Octavia had a similar goal - neither of them wanted Madi to take the Flame - but Clarke didn’t see that for some reason, even though Octavia was very clear about it all. She accepted Madi into Wonkru, and by doing that, granted her protection that Clarke couldn’t dream of being able to give. She made Madi her second, which also provided protection that Clarke couldn’t give - people would know that Madi wasn’t to be messed with, because Blodreina had taken a personal interest in the girl and was training her for battle and eventual leadership.

Eventual leadership is a key phrase - Octavia wasn’t stupid. She knew that there were people who wanted the Commanders back. So by accepting Madi as her own and training her, she was preparing her for when that day would come (which would also hopefully be a day in a time of peace, in which Madi wouldn’t have to make the hard decisions that Octavia - and Clarke - had had to).

They had a solid battle strategy, plus a sneak attack, where Madi would have been safer than any other battle that could have been waged - because as noted in the post linked above, that war was going to happen one way or another.

Instead of trusting in that, or even going with Bellamy’s plan of taking off in the Rover to retrieve Spacekru, Clarke decided the best idea was to attempt to deliberately sabotage Octavia’s plans by murdering one of her people. Clarke knows Octavia. She knows Octavia is relentless. That when she has a goal in mind, she pursues it single-mindedly and nothing will stand in her way. This would be no different. So instead of being able to go with a reasonable Plan A, Octavia had to keep going down the list of plans, each one becoming more dangerous.

Clarke continued to aid the movement down the list of plans after she and Madi left Polis and went to Shallow Valley. If her single solitary goal was to protect Madi, she would have disappeared into a far corner of the valley and waited out the battle, rather than joining up with McCreary. She’d taken the worms out of the equation, there wasn’t a risk to her or Madi if they did that. Instead, she delivered her daughter to a psychopath, and instead of letting Madi kill him when the moment was open, she continued to heal them and sold out the rest of her remaining friends.

Clarke is credited with having a change of heart and trying to stop McCreary and spearheading the evacuation, but it would have all been wholly unnecessary if Clarke had stayed out of everything in the first place. Clarke is the one who started the war with Eligius IV in the first place. Clarke is the one who murdered a member of Wonkru, resulting in Bellamy’s actions against Octavia, and thus putting the Flame in Madi. Clarke is the one who betrayed her friends to McCreary, resulting in them getting slaughtered. Meaning Clarke is the one who created the circumstances by which she was essentially sending her daughter into a kill box (see this post).

If Clarke had worked together with Octavia from the beginning, the valley would have been won with little fuss, Madi would not have the Flame, and hundreds more would have lived. What’s more, she could have been the emotional support that Octavia so desperately needed, because Clarke had been in her position enough times to understand. I’m really disappointed that we didn’t see that.

Echo

Now, Echo isn’t a delinquent, but there’s not really a reason to make a special post just for her, and given that she spent six years living in space with five delinquents, she fits here well enough.

Out of all of the people here, she did the best - her only issue was deferring to Bellamy when she should have stood on her own merits. Echo more than any of them would have understood the pressures Octavia was under - and she did, though Bellamy chose not to understand. Echo was the only one who recognized that something horribly bad had happened in the bunker and that Octavia needed Bellamy, her brother, to be there for her. She should have been more specific in how that should happen.

Echo also respected Octavia’s authority in the way the others didn’t - even when Bellamy disagreed, Echo acknowledged that Octavia was right. This also meant that Octavia listened to Echo and took her information and recommendations into consideration. Not to mention that in 5x09 when the fighting starts in Shallow Valley between McCreary and Diyoza’s factions, and Kane shows up to say that Bellamy and Clarke negotiated a surrender with Diyoza, Echo writes it off as fake news, because Octavia would never surrender, knowing that Bellamy and Clarke had no authority to speak for her with Diyoza. All the respect to Echo for that.

Bellamy

Now, I have another essay planned on the Blake dynamics through the series as a whole, but here we’re sticking just to S5, and to the thesis of that essay - despite all of their tumultuous past, their reconciliation at the end of S4 and the subsequent six years apart should have been the best thing that happened to them and their relationship. Six years apart would break their co-dependency, so that they could restart their relationship as adults with a clean slate when they saw each other again.

It should have been wonderful. But it wasn’t. And it was Bellamy who screwed it all up.

It’s this moment. This moment right here. Their first private conversation out of the bunker in 5x04.

You can see Bellamy’s hostile stance - holding himself back, arms crossed. You can see Octavia steeling herself for the lecture she knows is coming, though you can tell she’d hoped for understanding.

Then Bellamy begins to speak. “Blodreina. The Red Queen. Tell me about the fighting pit. How did that happen? Because it looks to me like someone read Ovid a few too many -”

Bellamy’s only concerned with what he’s seen in five minutes. He’s not concerned about her, the person he’d spent most of his life trying to protect from harm. He doesn’t ask her how she’s doing, what happened to her, what she had to do to lead them - like he said she’d have to, in their last radio conversation before Praimfaya.

Bellamy is known as the heart for a reason - because he uses it. But suddenly, all that heart he’s been known for is gone. He doesn’t want to know what happened to his sister in those six years. He only finally wonders in 5x10, at which point it is way way too late.

This here in 5x04 is the moment when everything could have been different. If he’d asked her what happened. Or not even that - he knows she’s not a talker. All he needed to offer her was understanding. Love. Confirmation to her that he’d be there for her no matter what. And hell, knowing at least that some sort of gnarly shit went on down there even if he didn’t know the specifics, but now they were free - he could’ve offered her that forgiveness that he and Clarke were so famous for giving to each other: “If you need forgiveness, I’ll give that to you. You’re forgiven.”

But he didn’t. He didn’t give her validation, he didn’t even give her consideration.

He did ask her to trust him. And she did. Which backfired so spectacularly that she almost ended up vaporized on the streets of Polis.

This set the tone for the rest of the season. I could write thousands of words more on it, but I don’t think I need to. Because this scene in this episode is the tipping point. Everything else was just actions and reactions to each other, all stemming from here, all stemming from how Bellamy showed no empathy and Octavia could take no chances.

Clarke and Spacekru spent six years living in peace and relative plenty. Octavia spent six years in a war zone. It was clear from the moment the bunker was opened that some serious shit had happened there, and Octavia was at the epicentre of it - and yet, despite having had to make all sorts of horrific choices for the survival of their people in seasons past, her fellow delinquents seem to have forgotten what that felt like. Forgotten their own experiences. Forgotten the way they wanted to be treated, forgotten the empathy that they so desperately craved after those acts. After their six years of peace, they didn’t want to understand that Octavia had been living in a very different world, and that the choices they’d had to make in the past were now choices that she’d had to make as well.

Octavia even calls Clarke and Bellamy out on it in 5x07 - and they have no words to say in their defense. The thing that they could do, however, is draw on their shared experiences - but they don’t even do that. Bellamy’s always been full of motivational tidbits to prevent others from making what he perceives as the same mistakes he has - such as when he tells Riley in 4x05 that “war made me a murderer, don’t let it happen to you” or when he tells Madi in 5x13 that she can be “better than them [the prisoners]. You can be better than us.” Why doesn’t he have one here for Octavia besides “don’t do this”? Where was his empathy here?

Bellamy failed her. Clarke failed her. Monty failed her. They all failed her.

[its-tubbs]

Black in America

Have you ever given any thought to what it may be like to be Black in America? Chances are no one does unless they are truly a Black or African American person trying to survive.  It would be great if everyone could walk in the shoes of a Black person for just one week.

I often wonder if anyone could survive a week when they get upset if a group of people is starting to grill food in Lake Merritt Park or if you are sitting and waiting for a friend at Starbucks.

Fifty years ago, John Howard Griffin published a slim volume about his travels as a "black man" through America. He expected it to be an obscure work of interest primarily to sociologists, but Black Like Me, which told white Americans what they had long refused to believe, sold 10 million copies and became a modern classic.

I keep asking myself and my colleagues what happened? Today, I can't tell the difference between the 60's and 2020. As much as we appear to move forward, we seem to be swiftly reversing in our accomplishments as a race of people. All over the country, racism, discrimination, police brutality and racial profiling have reached the top of the list.

For decades, black parents have told their children that in order to succeed despite racial discrimination, they need to be twice as good, twice as smart, twice as dependable, and twice as talented. This advice can be found in everything from literature to television shows, to day-to-day conversations.

African American employees tend to receive more scrutiny from their bosses than their white colleagues, meaning that small mistakes are more likely to be caught, which over time leads to worse performance reviews, lower wages or job termination.

For the past 15 years, I worked as a freelancer or marketing consultant in order to have better control of my life. As a contractor of color today, contracts became almost obsolete as government organizations and other enterprises stopped giving contracts to those of color because they wanted to hire those that looked like them or to give contracts to friends or family members. What angers me is most white people in charge are never reprimanded or questioned about their choices, even when their contractors are incompetent and unproductive for big buckets of money. Try that as a Black man or woman and you will end up in jail or fired from your position.

In the past year, I took a 40 hour per week job with an organization, hoping to be able to make a difference for priority communities or communities of color to be served. I convinced myself that my skills and experience would be welcomed and positive lessons would be shared and learned to make communities healthier.

Deep down inside I knew that I was simply fooling myself. From the moment I walked in the door, I was greeted with racism, discrimination and passive aggressive behaviors from white privileged co-workers with less experience and who continued to be unable to reach their goals or simply make a difference. I often ask how many t-shirts need to be purchased to reduce disparities in communities of color? That's when I become the enemy questioning their authority and position. Well, they did get that part correct.

As a black man, I can't remember a day when I didn't face discrimination or racist views from others. Depending on my mood, there are days that I wish I didn't have to leave home for meetings or appointments.  Often it happens before I even leave my apartment building where I have lived for 15 years, but still get looked at as if I am an intruder or burglar. As a black man, in order to survive, you learn to ignore or suppress most of the negativity that attempts to hit you in the face every day.

As a black man in America, many things happen on a daily basis to push your buttons. The key is learning to stay calm and avoid those threatening triggers. Although the events vary, here are some of the issues that I deal with every day as a black man:

Every time I enter a department store, drug store or office building I am followed, questioned and watched very carefully by security guards, even if they are black. They are trained to be suspicious of other blacks because their training sessions teach them that black and brown people are thieves, murderers and drug addicts looking to steal or cause bodily harm.

Riding public transportation can be a curse or a blessing. If you are black, usually no one will sit next to you unless they are another black person or someone homeless that smells like pure crap. During those times you remove yourself to another part of the car or bus.

Entering an elevator has always been amusing to me. White women, especially would rather take the stairs or wait for the next elevator to come down to the lobby. If they reluctantly enter an elevator with a black man, chances are they will be holding tight to their purses because being black means you are going to snatch their purse and run. Just a note, most black people don't even think about white people at all.

Entering restaurants: Don't be surprised if they are booked. They are very surprised if you have a reservation and in shock that your name was not black enough to alert them.

Office or Team meetings can be quite interesting. Bleeding heart liberals are usually 10 times worse than an outright racist. How can you identify one of them? Well, they are usually passive aggressive and feel that they can say anything to a person of color without ramifications. They can also cry at the drop of a hat if an intelligent response is given. They often will launch into a dialogue that starts with, “that's not really what I meant and I am sorry that you misunderstood me”. When it comes to this bullshit, I don't hesitate to go for their jugular and eliminate the problem without raising my voice or an eyebrow.

A black female employee is told by a co-worker multiple times that she is “so well spoken,” or “not like other black women” that the coworker knows. These comments place a negative assumption on Black Americans, as well as shows contempt or a lack of respect for African American Vernacular English.

A latina staff member is sitting in a team meeting when one of the directors makes a face and starts to put down another latino worker who is no longer with the organization but who has been pulled in as a consultant because of her great skills. Being the only latino staff member in the meeting, she feels crushed by the white co-worker's attitude, facial expressions,  and nasty comments about the other latina person. No one else seems to notice except for me.

Driving while Black can be rather frightening. You may be doing everything correctly but if you are black the profiling begins. Being black means that you must be high on drugs, drunk, have a criminal record, have a warrant out for your arrest or may be thinking about committing a crime. To save us all, 10 police cars are called in and you are beaten nearly to death or murdered for resisting arrest. Trust me, it happens every day.

The most difficult one is when you are a Black person who goes in for an interview and the only Black person on the panel, like the security person at Walgreens or CVS, focuses on destroying your chances of being hired. The old name for these people was Uncle Tom, but I have moved to calling them Handkerchief Heads.

Another common form of racial bias can happen even before the interview. Black or Latino sounding names have a disproportionately lower call-back rate than white names when it comes to landing an interview.

Racism is often boiled down to its most basic definition: discrimination and negative stereotyping based on race or skin color. However, the truest definition of racism — that of systemic or institutional racism — is much broader, and understanding that definition can help illustrate the lived experiences of people of color in America.

So how do you survive being Black in America?

If you have stories to share, please sent them to me. Those lessons can help so many others to succeed.                            

[chungledown-bimothy]

Trust Me: Chapter 7

Hey look! A timely update! Consider it a preemptive apology to everyone who loves Logan. 

Chapter 1 Chapter 6 AO3 Chapter 8

Warnings: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF TORTURE and JD is a high schooler. It’s relatively short, and marked by ******* before and after. But it’s for sure there. Oh, and some swearing.

Author’s Note: The German translates to “I speak German too, and I know you killed them.”

Word Count: 2190

Tag List: @ccecode​ @emo-sanders-sides-loving-unicorn​ @ren-allen​ @ilovemygaydad​ @bloodropsblog​ @funsizedgremlin​ @raygelkitty​ @roxiefox23​ @thomasthesandersengine​ @spookyingarbageisland​ @band-be-boss-blog​

15 minutes passed before Logan broke the silence. "I understand that two members of the football team committed suicide two weeks ago. I know that you are new to the school, but it must be difficult nonetheless."

"Not really. I bounce around so much, I don't bother learning names or faces, let alone care about anyone. Besides, I heard they did it because they were gay and too homophobic to deal with it. No major loss there, in my opinion."

"That is… an interesting perspective, JD. I am almost afraid to ask about your thoughts on Heather Chandler's death."

"Sometimes even the shiniest of ivory towers are prisons, I suppose. One has to wonder, though, how much the bullying rate has dropped since she kicked the bucket. I mean, sure, one of the other Heathers is trying to take her place, but even she knows that she'll never measure up." He looked out the window and then back to Logan. "Hang on, I never told you where I live."

"I know where I'm going. What do you know about how Heather, Kurt, and Ram died?"

"If you say so," JD began, hesitantly. "Only what everyone knows. Heather drank drain cleaner, and Kurt and Ram shot each other. I heard someone saying that they used some special kind of bullets called ich lüge."

"Ich spreche auch Deutsch und ich weiß dass Sie sie umgebracht haben."

"H- how could you possibly know that? No one knows that. I was careful. I was perfect."

"Obviously, you were not. If you were truly careful, you would not have said anything about the bullets. You wanted to applaud yourself for being so much smarter than everyone else. You also would not have chosen such an emotionally-driven accomplice. I understand the appeal. We have a lot in common, JD. We both understand that emotion and personal attachments are nothing more than hindrances. But there is that one person who changes all of that. Who makes you want to know how to feel things. But ultimately, they will always choose their emotions over us. I was not completely certain that you killed them until you bragged about the bullets. Killing people who had been cruel towards your person, Miss Sawyer, aroused my suspicions. Rule number one of getting away with murder: only kill people to whom you are not linked."

"It's you, isn't it? The killer everyone's talking about. The Park Puzzler."

"That is the first honest and correct thing you have said all evening." Logan paused, considering JD's words. "Is that really what they are calling us? Disappointing, but not surprising. The best and brightest certainly do not go into journalism."

"You aren't gonna kill me. You said yourself, the first rule of getting away with it is killing strangers." Logan was filled with a savage glee, seeing the terror in his student's eyes, his desperate attempt to save himself.

"In most circumstances, yes, killing you would be a mistake. However, your father is known for leaving town and taking you with him unexpectedly. You have attended 10 high schools, I believe, and it is your senior year? Everyone knows that the killer is punishing people for their unpunished crimes, and how would a simple teacher know what you did? Especially one who does not interact with other teachers, let alone students. No one was around when you got in my car. No one has ever seen us interact outside of the rare occasions you showed up to my class." He sighed when he saw JD reach for the door handle. "Don't be stupid- there is no point in trying to escape. I engaged the child-lock this morning. You cannot open the door from the inside, and breaking through the window is difficult with only a fist for exceptionally strong individuals. Looking at you, I estimate that you have slightly below average upper body strength for an 18-year-old male."

"Well that's awfully rude, teach. So, I'm gonna die. Why? Why not just turn me over to the cops?"

"You are a young, white man who, when you want to, can be quite charismatic. The American justice system is skewed to protect people like you. Even that is predicated on the assumption that a prosecutor would take the case, which is unlikely, given how well you were able to convince everyone that they were suicides. Your kills were cold-blooded with very little motive outside of bloodlust, and you left very little to no evidence. Truthfully, I am rather impressed."

"And we're back to my question. Why do I have to die for doing such good work? You're a killer too. Why should I die, when you're no better than I am? If the papers are accurate, killing me will even up our body counts, so you aren't even better than me on that front."

"The quality of your work was admirable, but it was still wrong. You took three innocent lives, simply because you wanted to. I only kill those whose crimes go unpunished by the corrupt justice system. We are both killers, but my crusade is a righteous one."

"I still don't buy it. I trade in half-truths, straight-up lies, and manipulation, teach, and there's more to it than you're saying. You're gonna kill me anyway, and clearly we aren't to wherever it is you're taking me to do the job. Why not pass the time with a good old-fashioned villain monologue?"

"All will be revealed in due time. I have been reliably informed that people tend to dislike 'spoilers'."

"You're absolutely nuts. You know that, right? You're even more delusional than I am. And that's my self-harm of choice is fucking Slurpees."

"I find it interesting that you truly believe that your obsession with what is colloquially known as 'brain freeze' is less sane than your manipulation of Veronica Sawyer and the cold-blooded murders of your peers."

"Peers? That's bullshit. They were, at best, vapid instruments of the system."

"And for that, they deserved death?"

JD shrugged. "I would do anything to protect Veronica from assholes like that."

"As I would do anything to protect my sibling from a world that turns a blind eye to the crimes of assholes like you. We are at an ideological impasse. That impasse, however, is rendered irrelevant by my superior intellect. Ah, here we are." Before JD could respond, Logan reached across the car and emptied a syringe into his arm.

-

The first thing JD noticed when he came to was the rope around his wrists tying him to a chair. Struggling revealed that his ankles were bound as well, and the chair was bolted to the ground. He was surprised to find that he wasn't gagged. Looking around, he reasoned he could only be in a warehouse, and it was empty except for him and a video camera. He continued to struggle against his restraints, barely noticing when the rope burn broke his skin. He was also hungry, and his mouth felt like sandpaper.

"How long was I out?" JD croaked, unsure if anyone was there.

"Approximately eighteen hours. It is 2pm on Saturday." JD jumped, not expecting Logan's voice to be so close behind him. "You are in luck. Normally, Patton would take a turn with you before I do anything, but they are… otherwise occupied. You should thank me- you will be useless to them once I have started with you, let alone finished. I am saving you potentially weeks of agony. The last one took a week and a half to learn his lesson. Only then could I begin my experiments."

"Experiments? What the fuck are you going to do to me?"

"As many things as you can endure."

"Why? Why not just kill me and get it over with? Satisfy your 'righteous crusade' without wasting time."

"And waste the opportunity to study how much the human body can endure? I think not. In all honesty, I care about the cause far less than Patton does. As I said, you will be spared their particular brand of torture, both physical and mental. I can only imagine what they'd do to you, given the fact that you murdered children, despite being a child yourself."

"We were all 18. Technically not children. Why, may I ask, won't I have the pleasure of making their acquaintance? They sound absolutely delightful."

"I am not surprised that your listening skills are subpar. They have other business to attend to."

"They're with someone, aren't they? That's why you've got such a big bug up your ass about emotional attachments and me and Veronica. It's rebellious child 101, teach. Lash out to get their attention. You aren't the center of their universe any more, and it's eating you alive." Logan flinched, and JD smirked; he'd hit his mark.

"Those who speak of what they know find too late that prudent silence is wise. This is doubly true for children who know nothing." He raised a hand, cutting JD off. "No more talking. Feel free to scream, however. Your responses will be recorded on that camera," he pointed, "and further analyzed later. I tend to get… distracted in the moment."

Logan briefly returned to the shadows of the warehouse before returning with a tank that seemed to be smoking. "This, JD, is liquid nitrogen. You mentioned your fondness for cold-induced pain. Let us see how you feel about it in the extreme. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest."

****************************

He put on thick gloves and an apron before opening the lid and pulling out a ladle full of liquid nitrogen. Very carefully, he stepped forward and slowly emptied the ladle onto JD's arm.

The first drops hit JD's skin with a sizzle, causing JD to flinch. That flinch quickly turned into convulsions and a scream he didn't know he was capable of making when the stream grew thicker. It burned. Every second was more painful than the last. He was on the edge of unconsciousness when the agony stopped getting worse- Logan had stopped pouring. JD didn't know how long he sat there, face contorted with pain, before he was able to open his eyes and look at his arm. He immediately wished he hadn't. From wrist to elbow, his arm was mostly violently red and blistered. What truly horrified him, however, were the areas that weren't red at all, but were an unnatural grayish-yellow.

***************************

"That is third degree frostbite. Those uniquely discolored areas should turn black over the course of our time together." JD tried to scream, to swear, to cry, but he couldn't. He was hit with a wave of dizziness and nausea when he tried to open his mouth. "Ah yes, that would be the shock setting in. Breathe with me, JD. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight." Logan led him through the breathing exercise until he returned to a slightly more normal temperature. "Well done. Keep focusing on your breathing; I will be right back with some first aid."

"Wh- why bother?" JD asked when Logan returned without his gloves and apron, carrying a first aid kit. "Why not let me die from this?"

Logan gently began heating the frostbite with a warm, wet towel before responding. "There are more experiments to run. Even if this was the only one I had planned for you, seeing how it heals is a crucial part of the process. My goal isn't killing you. My goal is observing how the human body reacts to and recovers from various extreme stimuli. Letting you die would be extremely counterproductive. For now, at least." Logan began wrapping JD's arm with bandages. "There we go. That should be adequate to keep you alive and will hopefully prevent gangrene. The point is to study frostbite, not gangrene."

"Why thank you." JD smirked the best he could, but even he knew that it was, at best, a pitiful attempt.

"You certainly are strong, JD. Most people would not dare being sarcastic in the face of their torturer. Drink this." Logan demanded, holding a water bottle to his lips. "Good. I suggest you get comfortable. I will be back tomorrow to change your bandages and check on you. Can't have you dying before I allow it."

-

Sunday

"Oh Logan, he's absolutely wonderful. He's so smart, kind, and handsome. He didn't even blink when he learned my pronouns! And he said the most beautiful things about Monet and Impressionism. Aahh, I wish I could stay and tell you all about it and him, but I have to spend some time at the coffee shop- between our work and Virgil, I haven't spent nearly enough time there!" Patton got to the door before turning around. "Oh, and I'd love to know what you were up to yesterday- I called, but you didn't answer or call me back. That's why I had to come check on you before going to work. I'll be back around eight tonight, okay? See you then!" Patton was out the door before Logan could respond. Eleven hours. Plenty of time to tend to JD and come up with a convincing lie.

[stevefusedineen-blog]

A colleague of mine, who was a group HR director of a global 500, was asked by his CEO 15 years ago, a simple series of questions. How much are we spending on training? Where is it working and where is it not? Where should we be spending less and where should we be spending more? Curious as to what the answer was, I asked and he responded, “Honestly I have no idea”. After lots of "Big 4 Consulting" he managed to finally arrive at somewhat of an answer. They were spending around £100m on this training, but he still had no way to measure what was having an impact and what wasn’t, and had only been given instinctive recommendations on where to better apply that £100 million. Today, I think if the current CEO of this global 500 asked the same question to his HR director or Chief Learning Officer, he would still get the same answer. Crazy that this is likely the last area of big business that spends this much, yet can’t provide a measurable value answer back to the CEO.

Fifteen years ago Marketing would have been equally as fluffy, but not today. New marketing automation software, new mindsets, skillsets and a laser focus on KPI and business value has made marketing today completely different. When I recently interviewed for Fuse Universal’s Marketing Leader, like most CEOs, I filtered out anyone that wasn’t able to give concrete examples of campaigns that they had led, which weren’t able to describe measurable business value. This is a minimum criteria to prove that a Marketing Leader has moved their mindset into the modern age of marketing, where having a data DNA, is as important as their creativity.

Gone are the days where a marketing leader would say “We assume it’s working or people feel good about it afterwards”, which crazily enough I still hear from Learning Leaders. Kirsty (our new Marketing Leader), like any good Marketing Leader, defines her campaigns and chooses the marketing weapons to deploy, based on which ones are most likely to achieve the KPI that campaign is focused on. Be it a number of sales qualified leads or top of the funnel new contacts. The mindset, skillset and toolset of a modern marketing professional today compared to 15 years ago is radically different but if you look at the world of L&D – not a huge amount has changed, but just as digital disruption came in the form of Fintech & Martech, next-generation learning tech is enabling modern thinkers and practioners, like TJ at Merck and Peter Stone at Catalyst to spearhead the same level of digital disruption that we have seen across almost every other industry. L&D may have been late to the digital disruption party, but we are now well and truly on the guest list.

One of the problems that digital disruption is going to solve, has been something many of us have kept as a quiet secret up until recently, and that is there is a whole lot of corporate training out there that offers almost zero business value. Worse is that we have hidden behind an untruth for a long time that “You can’t measure the impact of learning and training”. This may have been a historical truth as it was historically for marketing, but it is no longer true today. Now that access to rich data and rich data tools allows us to measure people performance, it is revealing the bigger more scary truth that corporate training is rarely designed for business value and often when it happens, it happens by chance and not by design.

...A small idea that changes everything; design backward from business outcomes not forward from learning outcomes

There is one way to make sure that the impact of a learning design will be far higher. By doing just one small but significant thing, we can change corporate learning forever. Our friend Rachel Hutchinson and her team at Hilti are doing just this, by “Deciding on the problem they are solving, being clear on the outcome and business impact they are going to measure, and most importantly being crystal clear on exactly how the measurement of business value will be achieved before any learning design is even considered." If the business asks for 2 courses on x or y and you accept, then it’s too late. Measurement of business value must come before learning design, as it impacts every decision on learning design thereafter.

In the case of Hilti, Rachel and her team hypothesis the impact that they believe they can make by looking at descriptive and predictive analytics, in order to forecast the delta of difference, a learning experience can make on every learning experience. If they conclude they can’t make a difference, then come to the conclusion that they don’t do it.

This one simple idea of designing backward from the business outcome rather than forwards from the learning outcome, will change everything in the learning design, because every choice becomes about shifting that performance dial, and anything else is secondary. In that secondary bucket includes traditional learning thinking and instructional design techniques, because they are all learning output focused, not business outcome focused. It’s time to blow them up and start again. If you do design learning that is actually designed with a business outcome in mind, it will allow learning professionals to talk the language of the CEO/business, and transition their transformation from someone you go to ask for a course, towards being strategic business partners that can directly help improve the performance of your team and company.

So how can learning be measured for business impact? The answer is in a multitude of ways. Here is one example: almost every role in every company has performance metrics – Sales may be the most obvious, but Marketing have theirs as do service agents, and within every company, there are high performers and average performers. If you map the behaviors, skills, and knowledge of the best people and design a learning experience that shifts the median upwards toward the best people, then the delta of difference is measurable, and the impact is measurable. In Sales this measurement may be conversion rates; for developers, it may quality of code, documentation and velocity. The key is to correlate learning data and performance data to prove the value that the learning is having.

A common excuse of learning professionals to avoid this new reality that our profession can be measured is to say by there are so many other variables that its impossible to say it was the learning that made the difference. A relatively quick way to prove it was your design and your hypothesis was right is A/B testing e.g run the learning experience the old way for a segment of the business and the new way for the other. It’s a popular marketing technique and provides a quick way to get data and move the myth that learning can’t be measured for impact. Its also a great way to get feedback quickly and iterate continuously. 

A more advanced technique is working with the internal performance team to understand the variables and account for them. As an example, we did some work with University College London and Carpetright to test the hypothesis that bottling the greatness of the best people on selling one key product and giving that understanding would have around 10% positive impact on revenue. UCL looked at 3 years of Carpetright's performance data to understand variables such as seasonality and it showed as around 13%, not accounting for 5% seasonality, which was a useful start!  

The data also hinted that simply doing a one-off event and not using follow up techniques such as social learning and performance coaching (which they are now turning on), meant the performance curve almost mimicked the forgetting curve. By asking the question of "How can this improve the business outcome?," the team at Carpetright are evolving the learning experience with performance coaching and social learning and they are measuring the impact.

Rachel and her team initial challenge, at Hilti, was how to bring down “time to competence” for new sales starters from 12 months to 6 months and the measurement they decided to use was "time to payback" eg the cost of salary, development, travel etc. They made the initial hypothesis that through the use of modern learning technology, micro-content, role-playing face to face and the team they had they could achieve this 6 months saving. This they did but after their initial success (because they were focused on business outcomes not learning outputs), they challenged themselves again with the question of “What would we change to shift that metric from 6 months to 3 months? It’s a great question and exactly why the business outcome vs learning output creates the right mindset to ask that question. 

After some discussion they decided that helping their face to face trainers become more digitally savvy, may help reduce the time again as their trainers would transform from only using traditional classroom techniques to becoming more socially and digitally aware. This would enable them to be able to mentor new starters before their first face to face classroom session, giving them feedback on demo pitches they had recorded and uploaded to the platform. And it worked bringing the time down to almost 3 months!

Thinking backwards from the business problem, defining the outcome and using data & analytics, will radically change the learning experience design and allows a mature conversation with the business, that is no longer about how many courses they want for how many people but what problem can we solve, what outcomes are possible and what is the business willing to commit to together for. It may be a little uncomfortable at first, as is all change - but for those on the other side, they will never go back to the old ways.

Like Rachel, Siri Wikander and her team at Scandic, partnered with Sonja Prest and her team at Atom, came to the realisation that social learning technology could be used to enhance a daily learning culture, which would assist in people engagement and staff attraction. They would benefit hugely if the 20,000 colleagues in Scandic hotels were recommending friends to work in their hotels. They are now 18 months in and the data says the hypothesis holds true and with every hypothesis, the next one gets easier, as you have more historic data to predict the future with.

As Charles Jennings said in his recent video “We need to move from course takers to value makers.” Designing backwards from the goal, rather than asking how do we prove value after we designed a course, is the beginning of new world of measurable business value and L&D moving from the corner room to strategic partner.

More and more learning professionals are now switching their thinking from reactively building the courses they are asked to by the business and instead searching for business problems they can solve. They are learning continuously on what do more of, what to do less of and what value they are receiving from the budgets they get. Flipping the thinking of measurement from after to before seems small but it’s an idea that fundamentally changes everything in the learning design and makes traditional instructional design redundant as a whole new mindset for design takes over, which I'll cover in the next article (if you got this far :)

For those who are about to move from learning outputs to business outcomes for the first time, you will never think about designing learning in the same way again. Blue pill or red pill ?

Would you like to hear more? 

Get in touch hello@fuseuniversal.com

Or register to the Hilti webinar: " Can You Prove the Value of Your L&D Department?" With Rachel Hutchinson from Hilti & Don Taylor - https://fuseuniversal.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_PsmpKkGPRiWhHe2dwqKCXw

[angeltriestoblog]

Second sem (and freshman year) recap

It’s pretty hard to believe, but another chapter of my college journey is finally over and done with. Since I had ended the first half of the school year in such high spirits, I didn’t really believe upperclassmen when they warned that things were only going to get harder from there. In fact, I even thought I’d be the one to prove them wrong! I mean, with a class schedule that looked like this, how would I run out of time for all the things I both needed and wanted to do? My Tuesdays and Thursdays were practically free, save for that one Math class I had to attend in the morning that I surprisingly never cut.

For the most part of the semester, I was in a chill state compared to everyone else. I claimed that I had successfully adjusted to the demands of higher education to the point where I found what once was an unreasonable workload to be manageable. I was able to make time for my home org’s activities and devote enough attention to the only project I was deployed to, which I touched on a bit in my first recap blog post (linked here in case you want to jog your memory). As previously mentioned, I was assigned as one of the Documentations Heads under the Information Management department of the Career Building Program, a three-phase event that gives its participants a glimpse into the corporate world. We kicked things off with a resume writing workshop that I was lucky enough to join. The facilitator assigned to me gave useful insights that I was able to apply in the creation of my own curriculum vitae, which I am keen on using when it’s my turn to apply for internships and jobs in the future. I obviously don’t have much on it yet, seeing as I’m just a freshman, but the idea of filling it up with more experiences over the years is exciting me in ways I cannot explain.

Our group was even given the opportunity to explore the studio of the country’s biggest network, where we were briefed by executives in communications and IT and toured around the sets of our favorite shows. We even ran into Luis Manzano while he was filming Minute to Win It! Unfortunately, I wasn’t scouted by any representative from Star Magic and spontaneously put in a love team with Donny Pangilinan, but I guess that’s alright.

I also went to Talent Night with some friends (not in pictures: Gela's boyfriend and ICA barkada), which is shocking since I’m honestly not the type to attend parties like this. I’ve always been the girl who stayed home and binge watched YouTube videos on a Friday night. But, I guess the drunk confidence of those I was with rubbed off on me and I managed to pull through! It was also a plus that Timmy Albert was one of the performers: I do pass him by along the corridors quite frequently, but it’s just different seeing him sing and play an instrument in front of a crowd, especially since I’ve loved Roses and Sunflowers even before I got into Ateneo.

One surprise that I definitely did not see coming was participating in Daloy, our annual program that revolves around corporate social responsibility. This year, we decided to shed a light on how this could be seen in the Philippine clothing industry, so it seemed fitting to hold some talks featuring prominent figures in this field, as well as a fashion show to exhibit the collections of local brands that advocated sustainability. I was really interested in the concept when I first heard of it, and initially wanted to go as a mere audience member - little did I know that I would be tapped by the committee to model! To this day, I don’t know how or why I was chosen: from what I know, there were even screenings held a week prior to the event to determine who would get to walk the runway. But, I was messaged three days before and in that short span of time, I had to fit clothes, find pieces in my closet to match them and perfect my walk (which took several tries on my part, given the fact that when shy, I’m stiff as a board).

Agreeing to join was a huge step out of my comfort zone - the closest I’ve ever come to strutting on a catwalk was back when family members would ask me to “walk like a fashion model” as a kid during reunions. So, the fact that it had all paid off in the end, and that I was even complimented for the way I looked and performed beyond what was probably expected, was definitely a huge confidence boost for me. I couldn’t have done it without Nelly, Daloy’s project head who patiently guided me through the entire process before the show.

Shoutout as well to the other ACTM upperclassmen who were so friendly to me this school year. We may not have any pictures together, but you deserve a spot on this post nevertheless: Gella, my "boss" (hehe) who was always so patient when I asked questions and even went out of her way to say such kind words about my writing; Sam Que who made me feel like we had already known each other for so long even if we had just talked for the first time, and Ysagab who constantly reassured me that I was doing a good job even if I was looking like such a rookie.

My presence in events wasn’t limited to those of ACTM, though. I also went to the Loyola Film Circle’s Under the Stars, where I was able to see the live performances of OPM acts and watch one of my favorite chick flicks beneath the beautiful night sky. Since it took place the day after Valentine’s, I was surrounded by Ateneans and their significant others (who didn’t hold back at all when it came to publicly displaying their affection), but I didn’t even mind since I was content in the company of both my college constants and high school friends.

I dropped by Sulyap as well, which was the culminating activity of the Ateneo Heights Writers Workshop and the launch of the chapbook of their fellows. It was one of the busiest Fridays of the school year, but I still made it a point to go, because I wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to be a part of something organized by my dream org, Ateneo’s premier literary publication. As much as I love my course and the people in it, I have to admit that I haven’t been able to exercise much of my creative side. So being in a room full of like-minded individuals and hearing them speak lengthily about their works and the process that brought them to life was a refreshing experience, a much-needed break from the usual routine. My personal favorite was Unica Hijas by Mikaela Regis, which revolved around a lesbian couple trying to make their relationship work despite the fact that they study in a conservative, all-girls high school - a setting which is all too familliar to me.

It’s also worth noting that I was sorta able to tick a particular item off my freshman year bucket list. And I say sorta, because… well, you’ll see. It’s been a dream of mine ever since to watch a UAAP basketball game live, show up to the arena in a bright blue shirt, cheer as loud as I can when a player makes a point and raise my fist in the air while Song for Mary plays in the background. But, even if I’m consistently in school by 6am, I was never able to get tickets - I couldn’t match the efforts of some fans, who would camp overnight just to get their hands on them. But, just when I thought there was no more chance for me to show my school pride at a match, my friend Mika offered me a free ticket to the Ateneo Lady Eagles’ volleyball match against FEU at the Filoil Arena one Wednesday. We weren’t really on speaking terms before because we were from different cliques, but after bonding over K-Pop, I saw how nice and chill of a person she actually is. So, I didn’t want to turn her down even if I was hesitant to go at first. You see, I was never a fan - in fact, I didn’t know how the game went despite the PE lessons I had back in Grade 5. (Ms. Abella, if you see this, I’m sorry.) But, it didn’t take a lot of convincing for me to agree and I ended up enjoying way more than I thought I would. Fortunately, I was able to catch on when it came to the rules of the sport: the energy of the crowd was contagious as well, and the performance of the players was way too good it was impossible not to shout either out of triumph or frustration. Once we made it to the finals against UST, I even found myself waiting for announcements on where to buy tickets. I didn’t get any though, because they were either sold out due to the ever-increasing demand (ALE fans don’t play around) or there was a conflict in schedule (hi, Enlit play).

Despite this, I streamed the last game and screamed like I was actually in the venue myself. Apologies to all our neighbors, who probably thought someone was getting killed in the house beside theirs. I was so proud when they brought home the championship after three years, I even bought a Team Ateneo shirt (it’s not that hard to guess whose name is on the back) and went to the bonfire with my friends Gwen, Julia and Lou. I had hoped to meet and take a picture with the players, but they were already far too wasted when I arrived. Like, seriously. I saw Maddie Madayag chug a whole bottle of Mule right before my eyes.

So, you could say that it was all fun and games (quite literally) for me until hell weeks eventually rolled in. Plural form intended. I found out that all my professors were just holding back every major requirement until the very last stretch of the semester. Suddenly, my schedule was chock full of presentations and final papers, comprehensive exams and extra classes that put my time management and endurance to the test. I spent many days in Matteo Down just like before, but also started going to the floor above it in case I wanted to suffer in the company of more people. The studying would only continue once I got home: I’d pull all-nighters despite my brain’s and skin’s desperate cries for help, as manifested in my worsening acne. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that stressed in my life, and it’s scary to think that that’s only the tip of the iceberg in the Ateneo.

Coping mechanisms I’ve picked up to help me deal with these unavoidable circumstances would be trying every restaurant along the Katipunan area whenever I had free time (which I will elaborate on more extensively in another blog post, so do watch out for that!) and eventually discovering Pancake House’s corned beef hash, which I love so much I once had it thrice in the span of a week. Another one would be the addition of yet another emotional support K-Pop boy to my collection. After watching My ID is Gangnam Beauty over Holy Week break, I fell in love with Cha Eunwoo and his god-tier visuals, mild demeanor, impressive English skills and heartfelt determination. This led me to binge watching reality show episodes and furiously putting the entire discography of Astro on loop. If you look at my Last.fm, you could see how Crazy Sexy Cool easily climbed to the top of my most played songs, sitting prettily at the #1 spot with over 300 plays in just a little over two months.

Although I constantly had to bear the pressure and stress on my shoulders over the past academic year, I am eternally grateful to Ateneo for equipping me with lessons both within and beyond the realm of academics that have helped me grow into someone I never imagined, but am happy to have turned into anyway. When my naive and starry-eyed self first entered college, I had such high hopes for what my experience would be and proceeded to map out the next four years of my life in accordance with the vision I had in my head. Having just broken free from the metaphorical chains of my previous school, I found it to be the perfect time to transform into a student who excelled academically, had a long and winding list of extracurricular activities and easily built a vast network of connections thanks to her pleasing and magnetic personality. If I got lucky, maybe I’d have one of those so-called “college blooms” and even get myself an actual boyfriend!

This isn’t something unique to me, I bet a lot of people entered this new stage of their lives with the same mindset so I wasn’t the only one in shock upon realizing that it doesn’t always play out that way in real life. Because of these ridiculous expectations we have implanted in our heads, that basically state that we have to be successful in everything we do and fast, we subconsciously keep ourselves from enjoying the process. In our desire to aim high and aspire for perfection in all that we do, we could end up failing to acknowledge the small yet equally important wins we gain along the way: the friend we make outside of our block despite the sheer discomfort we experience in meeting new people, or the answer we gave in class that impressed our most intimidating professor could appear minuscule when placed beside our goal of being straight-A student who’s active in seven orgs. In addition, we deprive ourselves of the allowance to make mistakes, stray from taking the detours and breaks we need to remain functional human beings and often drive ourselves to the point of fatigue and burnout. And when we are still not flourishing and thriving as planned, we fall prey to toxic comparison: we pit ourselves against others who don’t have the same background or circumstances as we do and question why our progress doesn’t match with theirs.

This is obviously such a toxic way to go about things. Talk about sucking the fun out of what’s supposed to be the four most enjoyable years of our lives. Thankfully, over time, I did some growing up, if you will, and channeled the power of acceptance - both of what I am and what I am not, and the will of God (or whichever supreme being you've placed your faith in) who meticulously planned out what’s ahead of me before I was even old enough to know what school was. I now work to the best of my ability, confident that all I have to do is put in my share of the hard work and see where it takes me, and am also more gentle with myself when I make mistakes.

On a somewhat lighter note, I’ve also been able to form my own opinions about very controversial issues on campus: an example of which would be what I think is the best CR - the answer is definitely Arete. You can’t go wrong with its triple killer combo of aircon, bidet and strong WiFi connection. The only possible downside could be the fact that there are usually a lot of people, so it’s not the best option if you’re planning on being loud and… um, smelly. The secluded and fragrant Leong Hall and ever-reliable New Lib restrooms come in second and third place respectively, while honorable mentions include the 2F Kostka CR (but only from 6:00-7:00am, when no one else is around) and this one specific stall in the Socsci building that's spacious enough that I can bring all my belongings inside with me.

Another point for discussion would be the superior place to eat on school grounds: this might cause an uproar, I’m aware, but I still believe it’s JSEC, despite the stark price difference compared to other cafeterias on campus. I was set on trying something from every stall before the school year ended, but I was too fixated on my top picks: I don’t have any regrets though. In fact, I wish I had more of the beef salpicao with calamares on the side from Casa Paella, the Superbowl from Blendabowls and The Coop fries with garlic aioli served on the side. Besides the fact that the food served is satisfying beyond measure, I enjoy the chit-chats I have with the ates and kuyas manning the stalls, who never fail to ask me how I am and tell me about the cute chinito boys they see on campus that they think I might like.

Although I can’t completely rule out Gonzaga, because of this particular stall with quality liempo and a kuya who always gives me a five peso discount. (I’ve been told he does this with girls he finds cute, but I have yet to confirm that). Also, it’s the only place on campus that I know of that sells fresh fruits by the kilo - perfect for those days when I try to convince myself to go on a diet before I relapse and binge eat at Pancake House.

A lot of people do say that ISO sisig is worth the cross-campus walk it’ll take to get there (e-jeep rides are more recommended! An experience in itself! Especially if you’re seated in the back, where there’s a constant feeling of being sucked in a vacuum! But, I digress) - it might just be a matter of preference, but I think it’s overrated. A destination that deserves more attention is the Cervini Hall cafeteria just by the university dormitories. I’ve only been there a grand total of two times so I don’t exactly have any specific favorites on the menu that I recommend, but I’d definitely still go for the homey ambience.

As for superior study places, Matteo Down has been tried and tested several times: I do prefer getting a place opposite to the entrance though, because it does get distracting having to see people enter and go out the door so often. What was supposed to be a study session often ends up becoming a game to see how many people are wearing a striped shirt today. I usually spend time on the fourth floor of the Rizal Library, and get the couch as often as I can because of the comfort (and charger) it provides.

Of course, I wouldn’t have been able to power through this year without the help of my closest friends: Sevi, Gwen, Raya and Christine. I always had this nagging fear in the back of my head that I wouldn’t be able to find a tight-knit group once I got to college, but thank you for proving me wrong. Thank you for letting me be my true self, for entertaining even my most random thoughts and for accepting all the kalat that comes with being my friend. I sincerely hope that we stay together and have more Gino’s dates in the future along with Chloe!

To Gela, Jill, Shar (and Dom, but we don’t have any pictures together except for the last one HAHAHA) - I didn’t expect at all that I’d be writing about you guys. I was so intimidated by all of you at first, because I felt like we were so different in terms of our upbringing and environment. But after getting to know you, I came to realize that you are seriously some of the most down-to-earth, chill people ever. Thank you for always providing quality chismis, volunteering to find me chinito boys to date and giving me apps to make my IG stories look cuter.

To the rest of X1, we weren’t exactly the most united and we knew that - it’s just that we were probably the most diverse out of all the groups in our batch, and with that comes clashing personalities and differing opinions and interests. But, nevertheless, I am content with the time we managed to spend together, where I was able to get to know all of you!

To the friends that I made outside of my block (and even my course), thank you for laughing at my jokes and telling me that I'm fun to talk to. Hopefully, we get to hang out more and maybe even have common classes in the future hehe

To my Enlit section, we barely spoke to one another during the first semester so I fell under the impression that you were all stoic and no fun to be with. But, I was proven wrong eventually. I wish I was able to talk to more people in LL, but to the classmates I was closest to (Dootie, Cyrah, Czarina, She and Jessa), I will never forget our side comments and mini-rant sessions. I heard we’re having another English subject come sophomore year, and I really hope I end up with you guys again.

All in all, there is no other word that could sum up the experience that was my freshman year in college better than “adventure”. It was every single emotion on the spectrum All At Once, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world - in fact, during the first half of the semester, I admit that I’d entertain thoughts of alternate universes where I’d be an Iska/Lasallista/Tomasino out of sheer curiosity, but now I just can’t imagine myself anywhere else. Anyway, enough with all that drama. I’m going back to school in three weeks to start my summer term, which we fondly (lmao) refer to as intersession. So, there’s technically nothing to miss.

Hope the rest of you enjoy the summer break that I unfortunately will not be able to experience until I graduate from college! Wishing you nothing but love and light, always.

Angel

[yourarmynoona]

Your ARMY Noona’s Fanfic Rec MASTER LIST (updated 5/13/18)

So as much as I LOVE writing BTS-oriented or K-pop fanfics in general, I have always wanted to compile a BTS Masterlist of Fanfiction writers and fics. I’ve read so many over the years but these are a few that stand out to me. I’ll continue to update as I read more or add to the list (or remember where the hell I wrote them down at) so for now, please enjoy the works of these incredible fantastic writers!

(Credit to all the writers listed as these descriptions and works are theirs)

~Your ARMY Noona ❤

 ☆ ☆@endearkim ☆ ☆ ☆

➤ “Pyramids” 

Description: It didn’t matter how many times you slapped yourself, but when those eyes of his landed on you, it was like life had stopped.

Rating: M

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Wordcount: 10k+

➤ “Aqueduct”

Description: You were a little more than enamored with the sun.

Rating: M

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Wordcount: 10k+

☆ ☆ ☆ @seokkbuns ☆ ☆ ☆

➤ “Wanted”

Description: His voice was powerful, commanding, catching your attention without any extra effort on his part and even without looking you could tell it was directed at you. Taehyung trembled, and you slowly turned your gaze to the Kelkie standing in the middle of the other two, his dark, doe-like eyes boring straight into yours as he spoke at you in a language you couldn’t understand. Your breath caught in your throat because standing right before you was the most ethereally handsome being you had ever seen

Rating: M

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Wordcount: 10k+

➤ “Inheritance”

Description:  After your grandmother passed she left everything to you. Her house, her fortune, and apparently… her cat? The grumpy male hybrid you encounter at her house is anything but the tame housecat you’d expected to find. Fulfilling your grandmother’s last request to look after him becomes a lot harder when he seems to be avoiding you, and your dissatisfied relatives start stirring up trouble.

Rating: M

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Wordcount: 2.6k+

☆ ☆ ☆ @drquinzelharleen ☆ ☆ ☆

➤ “Suga Daddy”

Description: Yoongi gives you an offer you can’t refuse.

Rating: M

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Wordcount: 7.8k+

➤ “Close as Strangers” 

Description: You were happy it was your last year of school. That was, until you started tutoring your old best friend Jeon Jungkook, otherwise known as “Mr. Popular.”

Rating: M

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Wordcount: 10k+

☆ ☆ ☆ @kinkjungkook☆ ☆ ☆

➤ “Tempting”

Description: Y/N is an angel and a good one at that. She steers clear of the seven deadly sins, especially lust. She is out performing her duties when she runs into a demon. Luckily for her, that demon, Taehyung, doesn’t seem to buy into that whole “Angels and Demons are sworn enemies” idea. But unluckily for her, Taehyung just so happens to be the very embodiment of sin. 

Rating: M

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Wordcount: 10k+

➤ “Soliloquy”

Description: Jimin was a boy who had an affinity for flowers. You were a girl who liked to talk to them. When you both end up in the same place at the same time, it only made sense that you both would have a lot to talk about. It all should have been very simple.

Rating: T

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Wordcount: 5.5k

☆ ☆ ☆ @jiminisalier ☆ ☆ ☆

➤ “Giving a Hand”

Description:  Your work is not the typical job, you give hand jobs for money, but instead of feeling ashamed by it you’re comfortable with it. Until a man offers you to work in his company, where you would use your abilities to please seven guys.

Rating: M

Pairings: Reader x OT7

Wordcount: 134k+

➤ “Elevator”

Description: You got stuck in an elevator with a stranger boy who claims his name is Vante. You know he is lying, but he is funny and extremely hot, so you let it pass.

Rating: M

Pairing: Reader x Taehyung

Wordcount: 6.5k

☆ ☆ ☆ @taechubs ☆ ☆ ☆

➤ “Bygones of the Sun”

Description: Jung Hoseok was once the sweetheart of the school, the dance captain whom every girl, including you, can’t help but fall head over heels for. But like the force of the ever-glowing sun, everything that rises must also set. A year of inactivity later and he’s now the school’s resident bad boy. You’re a firm believer of allowing the past be the past, and yet you can’t help but wonder where the risen sun has gone into hiding—because perhaps its shadows have out-shined its own radiance.

Rating: M

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Wordcount: 10.4k+

☆ ☆ ☆ @oppamansae ☆ ☆ ☆

➤“Mission Badboy”

Description:  What if you could win 100,000 Won by giving someone a makeover? But here's the catch – you have 6 months to turn a nerdy, anti-social male into the school's biggest heartthrob.

Rating: M

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader; Hoseok x Reader

Wordcount: 10k+

➤ “Xeno”

Description:  The best part about being an assistant in a lab was watching all new inventions come to life, although sometimes some of them fail, leaving them away in a storage room, never to be bothered with; free for the taking.

Rating: M

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Wordcount: 10k+

➤ “No Regrets”

Description:  Forever, we are young’ – that was Seokjin’s motto. You had never expected to live by it, not until he came up with a bucket list and forced his friends to go on a week-long trip with him during spring break. All of you soon learnt that youth was an adventure, and a great time to make stupid mistakes.

Rating: T

Pairing: Seokjin x Reader

Wordcount: 4k+

➤ "Endgame”

Description: In chess, winning is everything – unfortunately, it is never easy. Y/N knew that as soon as she was ordered to assassinate the ruler of Seoul’s wealthiest mob empire, Park Jimin. The real question was: would she be able to survive this twisted game, all while keeping her identity a secret?

Rating: M

Pairing: Maknae Line x Reader

Wordcount: 5.5k+

☆ ☆ ☆ @chinnychimchim  ☆ ☆ ☆

➤ “So It Goes”

Description: Park Jimin knows a lot about humans. of course he does, he studies them for a living. he knows that they say hello by holding hands, and when they say goodbye, they put their arms around each other. but this particular human, he notes, is unlike the rest- stuck in a slump, going about your day praying for the Universe to stage an intervention in the form of an alien abduction. when he decides to finally fulfil your wishes, he finds that you have a little something to teach him about what it means to live life on Earth the way you do: ugly crying, underwear and all. in return, he shows you the possibilities that abound if you simply adopted their mantra: everything is beautiful, and nothing hurts.

Rating: M

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Wordcount: 9.2k+

➤ "Catch Your Death”

Description:  Jung Hoseok has always been your number one antagonist. as a snow leopard hybrid, the only one in the kingdom— you’re always just too much for him— too pretty, too cold, too elegant, too weak to match up to his standards of a competent fighter. so when you’re betrothed to him in a very unusual matrimonial ceremony, its natural that your blood should run cold, because you hate him to the core. Right?

Rating: M

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Wordcount: 5.1k+

☆ ☆ ☆ @imaginethisbts☆ ☆ ☆

➤ “Territory”

Description: Dogboy Tae gets extremely possessive when “that time of the month” rolls around and find’s it hard to control his natural instincts and his dominating nature during the monthly occurrence.

Rating: M

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Wordcount: 2.9k+

➤ “Lust & Errors”

Description: Step brother, fuck buddy… They were one and the same now. But what started out as some mindless fucking game, quickly turns into something much more difficult and complex.

Rating: M

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Wordcount: 4.3k+

☆ ☆ ☆ @iq-biased☆ ☆ ☆

➤ “Aromatherapy”

Description:  When your holistic hippie friend offers you a free massage at an unheard of health shop, you’re skeptical. But as soon as your masseur Jungkook walks into the room, you realize your outlook on massage therapy is about to completely change.

Rating: M

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader; Hoseok x Reader

Wordcount: 5k+

☆ ☆ ☆ @softjeon☆ ☆ ☆

➤ “Trust Nobody”

Description:  The first thing someone should know about you is that you’re an escort. Yes, you have fucked for money. One day your boss made you an offer you couldn’t say no to. One year - seven boys. One rule: never fall in love.

Rating: M

Pairing: Taehung x Reader

Wordcount: 5.7k+

➤ “Yes Mr. Park”

Description: Nobody had ever made you feel like this - made you feel like submitting so fully. There was an ache burning inside you, that just wanted to say yes to anything your boss would ask of you.

Rating: M

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Wordcount: 4,6k+

☆ ☆ ☆ @httpjeon☆ ☆ ☆

➤ “1-800-Music-Street”

Description:  You’re enchanted by a street performer and then he saves you, resulting in multiple meetings one can only describe as fate.

Rating: M

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Wordcount: 5k+

➤ "Barbarian”

Description:  Your husband, hoseok, comes home from a raid with the need to make you pregnant with his child.

Rating: M

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Wordcount: 2.5k+

  ☆ ☆ ☆ Gimmesumsuga ☆ ☆ ☆

(Tumblr account @gimmesumsuga)

➤ “Sweeter Than Sweet”

Description:  You would have never expected someone like Park Jimin to notice you; he's handsome, seductive, and totally out of your league. Oh, and a vampire. You're enthralled by him from the moment you meet, addicted to his kiss and his bite, willing to do anything to be by his side - even if it costs you your freedom... and your life.

Rating: M

Pairings: Reader x Jimin; Reader x OT7

Wordcount: 250K+

➤ “Pink Panther”

Description:  Hybrid!AU. Smut with lots of kinks.

Rating: M

Pairings: Jin x Reader

Wordcount: 13k+

 ☆ ☆ ☆ Sugamins ☆ ☆ ☆

➤ "Valentino Summers”

Description: Whether or not Jimin was smuggling drugs really didn’t matter. He was hustling, and these days that was all there was to it.Hustle and survive, or struggle and die.

Rating: M

Pairings: Yoongi x Jimin

Wordcount: 560k+

➤ “House of Cards”

Description: Jungkook is the heir to a mob empire, the most notorious in the whole of Seoul. Taehyung is a rookie sent in to infiltrate by his select team and bring the empire crumbling down."You knew the game and played it, it kills to know that you have been defeated."

Rating: M

Pairings: Taehyung (V) x Jungkook; Jungkook x Jimin; Taehyung x Jungkook x Jimin; Jimin x Yoongi

Wordcount: 390k+

➤ “Taste of Ink”

Description: Jungkook is a drug runner for the largest gang in the whole of Busan: the Sam Yong Pa. One day he bumps into a runner for a rival gang in the next district that has trespassed into their territory: a Geum Sung Pa boy called Jimin. Jimin has a friend, a goon for the rival gang. Taehyung beats people up for a living, and boy, does he look good when he’s doing it.But their blossoming friendships reignite old gang flames and causes the most brutal gang war the country has ever seen. Dragons destroy and stars explode.

Rating: M

Pairings: Jungkook x Taehyung

Wordcount: 128k+

 ☆ ☆ ☆ MissterMia ☆ ☆ ☆

➤ “The Songbird and the Sea” 

Description: In a world where dominance of the sea is an endless battle between pirates and mariners, Park Jimin is content living in his little village on a small, uninteresting island by the eastern mainland. He wants nothing to do with the bloodshed of good and evil, the heartless killing of both innocents and condemned, the constant establishment and disruption of order. What he wants is peace, to live his life in the same town he was born in, to spend his days in the beautiful forest, and to use the powers of his Blessed Rune to nurture the home he loves so dearly.But when his island is attacked by pirates, Jimin will have no other choice than to do as they command and leave all thoughts of peace behind in favor of boarding the Agust, a pirate ship captained by the infamous Min Yoongi, Black Fox of the East.

Rating: M

Pairings: Yoongi x Jimin;  Taehyung x Jungkook; Namjoon x Jin

Wordcount: 255k+

➤ “Sirens Quest”

Description: Park Jimin was never much of a gamer. He’d always figured if people wanted stories, they could pick up books. If they wanted fantastic visuals, go to the movies or, heck, go to a museum. If they wanted to interact with people from all over the world, well, they could just sign up for the foreign exchange student tutoring programme at their school.So when his father got him a copy of Cypher Legends for his twentieth birthday, he decided to try it out only because he knew he’d feel guilty if he didn’t. He didn’t expect much at all, hell, he barely expected to get through even an hour of gaming before he’d lose interest.He definitely didn’t expect to be completely captivated by the gorgeous, fantastic, endless world of Cypher, or to form some of his strongest friendships with the people he met there, and he most certainly didn’t expect it all to happen because of another player called Suga and the beautiful staff Jimin swore he’d get his hands on no matter what.

Rating: M

Pairings: Yoongi x Jimin

Wordcount: 5k+

[a-year-of-musicals]

Day 209/365 - Spongebob Squarepants

Day 209/365 - Spongebob Squarepants

By Various Artists

SpongeBob SquarePants awakens and happily welcomes the day with his pet snail, Gary (Bikini Bottom Day). He greets various friends in his hometown of Bikini Bottom - including his best friend Patrick, his neighbor Squidward, and his squirrel friend Sandy Cheeks - as he walks to the Krusty Krab restaurant. At work, his boss Mr. Krabs tells his whale daughter Pearl she will manage the restaurant one day. With Pearl uninterested, SpongeBob hints that he dreams of being the manager. Mr. Krabs laughs at the idea, telling SpongeBob he is "just a simple sponge" and could not handle the position (Bikini Bottom Day Reprise 1). The day continues uneventfully until a violent tremor suddenly rocks the entire town.

The mayor announces all citizens should return to their homes. A television news report reveals that the tremor was caused by a nearby volcano that will erupt (No Control). SpongeBob checks up on Patrick, who is upset over the emergency. To cheer him up, SpongeBob reiterates that they are best friends forever (BFF). With the town in a panic over the impending doom, married villains Plankton and Karen try to convince the citizens to enter an escape pod that will take them away from the volcano. But, the two have a secret scheme planned. Once the residents are inside, they will hypnotize them into liking the chum that they serve at their restaurant, the Chum Bucket (When the Going Gets Tough). The townspeople, unknowingly, support this idea and decide to hold a last-minute music concert to raise money for the transport. Squidward, who dreams of getting to perform his own one-man show, is immediately shut down when he brings it up. Instead, Pearl suggests that the famous rock band, the Electric Skates, plays at the concert. Everyone agrees and Squidward is named manager of the event.

SpongeBob, however, is against the idea of leaving town and believes the citizens should fight to save Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob thinks back on Mr. Krabs' words from earlier and wonders if he could really save the town (Just a Simple Sponge). He decides that he can think of a solution with the help of Patrick and Sandy. Together, the three could build a device that could stop the volcano. Mr. Krabs sees the upcoming disaster as a money-making opportunity, holding an "apocalypse sale" on his signature fast food dish, Krabby Patties. Pearl worries about her father's greedy obsession with money, believing that it overshadows his care for her (Daddy Knows Best).

Meanwhile, SpongeBob convinces Patrick and Sandy to team up, climb the volcano, and stop it from erupting with an invention Sandy will build. Sandy has smarts and Patrick has strength, but SpongeBob does not know what he can contribute. Regardless, the friends are determined to succeed (Hero Is My Middle Name). Before they can start their plan, a group of cultist sardines appear. They found wisdom in Patrick's simple thoughts at the town meeting and decide to make him their new leader (Super Star Sea Savior). Patrick likes the idea and decides to back out of SpongeBob's plan so that he can bask in self-glory, angering SpongeBob. The two fight and end their "BFF" status. After Patrick leaves, Sandy reminds SpongeBob that things are bound to be okay. The entire company reveals their personal thoughts and feelings about the impending disaster (Tomorrow Is).

After intermission, Patchy again sneaks onstage, telling the audience that pirates are persecuted by others because of stereotypes (Poor Pirates). Once again, security intervenes to chase Patchy away. SpongeBob wakes up and greets a new day: the day when the volcano is expected to erupt (Bikini Bottom Day Reprise 2). Bikini Bottom has fallen into anarchy and chaos: the mayor has employed a dictator-like rule over the people and an angry mob has started to hunt down Sandy, thinking her scientific achievements are the cause for the volcano's impending eruption. Sandy is able to hide from the mob and show SpongeBob her invention, the Eruptor Interrupter. They plan to throw it inside the volcano and save the town.

Back in Bikini Bottom, Plankton worries Sandy and Spongebob will successfully climb up the mountain and save the town.But Karen tells him that she found his avalanche maker.She says they can use it to create an avalanche that Spongebob and Sandy won’t survive.Electric Skates finally arrive (Bikini Bottom Boogie). Squidward asks if he may perform with them as an opening act. The band will only allow it if Squidward buys every item on a ridiculously long shopping list. Meanwhile, SpongeBob and Sandy make their way up the volcano with great difficulty. Sandy tries to lift their spirits by reminding them of what they have learned in karate class about never giving up (Chop to the Top). When they stop to rest, SpongeBob cannot help but think of how he misses Patrick and wishes he was there to help them. In Bikini Bottom, Patrick finds life as a guru unexciting and misses SpongeBob as well, prompting him to leave his followers behind to help SpongeBob ((I Guess) I Miss You).

Meanwhile,we see Karen preparing the avalanche machine. Plankton then nervously says that his real name (Sheldon) is small sounding and he then asks to be called big guy. Karen happily agrees to call him big guy and she jumps into Planktons arms and the two have a very romantic kiss. Squidward obtains all but one of the items on the Electric Skates' list (seahorse radish), so the band refuses to let him perform despite his pleas, calling him a "loser" in the process. Their use of this word causes Squidward - constantly called a loser in childhood by his classmates - to snap back at the band in anger, and they end up quitting. Now alone, Squidward insists that he is not a loser and performs a show-stopping song with a tap dance number and a back-up chorus in his imagination (I'm Not a Loser). Back on the mountain, Plankton and Karen use the avalanche maker to make the avalanche.SpongeBob starts to fall when Patrick saves him with a jetpack Sandy invented. The two reaffirm their friendship and follow Sandy to the summit of the mountain. When they reach the top, neither Sandy nor Patrick are able to reach the rim where they need to throw the device in. They turn to SpongeBob, who doubts his skills (Just a Simple Sponge Reprise). They remind him that he is the only one who can squeeze through tight areas and that his optimism has gotten them this far. With new determination, SpongeBob throws the Eruptor Interrupter in. They head back to Bikini Bottom and wait to see if their plan will work.

In Bikini Bottom, the entire city is in anarchy. Since the band is gone, there will be no concert and no escape pod. SpongeBob tries to calm everyone down, insisting that whatever happens, they have each other (Best Day Ever). When the time comes for the volcano to erupt, everyone braces for their deaths. The time passes without an eruption, signaling that the Eruptor Interrupter has worked. With Bikini Bottom safe, everyone decides that they should celebrate by having a new concert with Pearl as the lead vocalist. Patchy descends from above on a rope, having finally managed to sneak into the show, and joins in (Bikini Bottom Day Reprise 3). During the curtain call, the cast performs the (SpongeBob SquarePants Theme Song).

Favourite Songs: Bikini Bottom Day, Just A Simple Sponge, Tomorrow Is, I Guess I Miss You, I’m Not A Loser and Best Day Ever

Favourite Character: Squidward

We both play Clarinet - ‘nuff said!

[agentmanatee]

Agents of Shield, Season 6 Speculation

I really like the current speculation on Daisy helping Jemma find Fitz at the start of s6. Not just for what it means for Daisy’s relationship with Jemma, but for what it means for Daisy as an individual: a return to empathy. Daisy emotionally shut down in 5x8 after starting to believe that she was the one to destroy the world and further shut down when she learned Coulson was dying (a big reason why we see her lashing out with such cruel words in 5x12). The only true moment of empathy in 5B was with Robin, who incidentally rejected it but did use her own version of it when she gave them the picture with Coulson’s location. Between realizing that she didn’t destroy the world and could save it and what was lost in the finale (accepting that Coulson was dying, Fitz actually dying as collatoral in her battle with GraviTalbot), her heart would open up and allow her empathy to shine through. Her loss of Lincoln and how much she misses him would add so much to her understanding of Jemma’s situation and how passionate she would likely give to finding Fitz (If such a thing was an option for Lincoln, she knows Jemma would do the same). I’m setting myself up for dissapoint when they don’t talk about their shared experience her, perhaps starting with Jemma asking why she’s helping so much. I’m holding out hope because it would serve to build Daisy’s character (afterall, her issues are sometimes given focus and the loss of Lincoln has been highlighted in both s4 and s5. Before Daisy enters another relationship they need to do something to show how she’s ready to move on), but not too much hope.

Another speculation is Daisy’s the only team member that doesn’t give up on being able to find Fitz. I don’t see the team giving up on Fitz and Jemma after (1) believing Jemma dead when the monolith swallowed her when Fitz proved them how wrong they were [I imagine there’s a lot of guilt over that. Jemma could have come home sooner if Fitz had their support.],(2) Mack just held his hand as Fitz died, so I can’t see how he would accept abandoning the living one, even if his responsibilities leave him from a more active role, and (3) the team knows the lengths Fitz and Jemma would go to to find the other and how they always do. Daisy most of all.

It’s a shame that Melinda May will likely not be involved in this endeavor. Between losing Andrew and Coulson, she could offer her girls so much insight and they could help her grieve. Also, she had to watch helplessly as her boy died after that brief moment of hope. I suppose that whatever it is that Coulson left her to do (check off things from her/his bucket lists?)

I would like to thank @agl03 for creating speculation as a jumping point for this.

[winewankers]

As a former wine waiter (Sommelier/Somm) I know a thing or two about ordering wines in restaurants. First and foremost – don’t be scared of us, we only bite when you forget to tip  (only kidding, well, kinda).

Tip 1 – use your Somm

One of the biggest mistakes people make when going to fancy restaurants is not fully utilising their somm. There are many b

enefits in getting assistance from your somm. First and foremost, they know the intricacies of the food on the menu and how well they team with the wines on their list.

After all, they have taken quite a lot of time constructing that list, and they assembled it with the type of food they serve.  They’ll also be able to tell you about the wine’s history and personality.  And if you’re into trying an unusual wine, they can steer you in the direction of unique gems that will make your dining experience all the more exciting.

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Tip 2 – Think about food and wine matching and be accommodating

Whether you get help from the somm or not, when perusing the wine list, try and accommodate everyone’s food in the wine selection. If this is impossible because of clashing food styles, try ordering by the glass or buy a couple of bottles to drink over the course of the night.  If you land yourself in a restaurant where the staff are barely old enough to drink, let alone recommend a wine to go with your meal, try these pointers.

Find a link: Between the weight, flavour, texture or intensity of the wine, with that of the food. Poached fish for example is a very light and delicate dish, hence it deserves a light and delicate wine like Riesling. Similarly, a hearty winter stew will sit perfectly with a rich, tannic, full-flavoured red, such as a Shiraz.

Chilli can be hell to team with wine, but remember this. A fruity wine, with a touch a sweetness will tame the chilli heat.

Heavily oaked and tannic wines are terrible when matched with chilli or overly spicy foods. The tannins dry the inside of your mouth and expose you to a greater chilli onslaught, ouch!

If your dish is cream based, find a wine with a higher acid. The acid in the wine cuts through the oiliness of the dish to create a balance.

Tip 3  – taste the wine when offered

I know a few of you will cringe at the thought of having to taste the wine when it’s offered to you in the restaurant. Many of you probably think it’s a big wank, and to actually go through with the ritual makes you look like a big snob. Remember this – you are not being offered the wine to see if you like it.  So don’t say something like, “oh no, I’m sure it tastes lovely,” because at least five per cent of all wines sold with a cork in a restaurant are ‘off’.  This is your chance to weed out the bad ones.

You would hate to have your whole restaurant experience ruined because you decided to forego your right to test the wine.  These ‘off’ bottles of wine are known as being ‘corked’. As cork is a naturally occurring product, it can sometimes be tainted with a mould that can make the wine smell like wet cardboard (in the most severe cases). A slightly corked wine will merely lessen the wine’s fruit aromas. Either way, you should not be paying good money for this wine.

If you still feel a bit unsure about detecting a faulty wine, it’s perfectly acceptable to have the wine waiter smell the wine for you. Don’t feel embarrassed – it’s their job to look after your wine experience. If the wine is faulty, refuse it and order another one or chose a new wine altogether.

Tip 4 – Taste wines even under screwcaps

Many quality restaurants wines are now being served in screw cap bottles.  This is a godsend, trust me. This mere practice is almost eliminating faulty wines, delivering a perfect wine experience every time. So what do you do if you’re offered to taste a wine that has been bottled under a screwcap?  You still taste it because while the ‘corked’ element has now been eliminated, there could always be a chance the wine has other faults.

Screwcap are not 100 per cent perfect (the cork manufacturers are probably very happy to hear this).  They are a whole lot more reliable then cork however.  If the top of the screwcap is damaged in transport it will usually get a ding in it.  This can break the seal at the top of the bottle and let air in, oxidising your wine.  As a result, the wine will taste flat and dull.  This rarely happens however and can usually be detected just by looking at the capsule to see if it is in mint condition. You can also taste if the wine has been heat effected. This is when the wine has been ‘cooked’ in high heat during the transport or storing of the inwe. It can happen to both screwcap and wines under cork. Smooth and supple reds can become tangy – where tannins and acids become more pronounced. Fruit flavours can also suffer.

Tip 5 – it’s OK to pour your own wine

The simple answer is yes! There is no reason why you should miss out on drinking your wine merely because your waiter is not doing their job properly. Many restaurants are under staffed nowadays to cut mounting costs. It’s now acceptable in many establishments that they will open the wine for you and pour the first round. Then if they get the chance to further top the wine up during the meal, consider yourself lucky.  These restaurants will usually leave the wine on the table.

If you are at a swanky restaurant and the waiter has taken the wine off the table and either placed it in a bucket or on a side table, you have my permission to embarrass them if they forget to top up your glass.  If you cannot get anyone’s attention to pour your wine, wait for the manager to be in eyeshot, excuse yourself from your dinner guests, stand up, retrieve the wine and pour it yourself.  The manager will feel like they have the worse restaurant in the world and will offer you free desert and coffees.

If you don’t feel like being that dramatic (which is probably 95 per cent of you) walk up to the Manager and ask them to pour your wine because you feel like you are being neglected. If you do this, the manager will feel it is his or her responsibility for the rest of the night to ensure you have perfect service. Either way – you win.

Tip 6 – start with an aperitif

A pre-dinner drink has a purpose, believe it or not. It should be relatively ‘drying’, so that it sweeps away the flavours of the day and prepares your palate for the fantastic meal that awaits. That means ordering a dry vodka or gin Martini (it’s not wine, but I’ll allow it), glass of Champagne, dry white wine or dry Fino Sherry (don’t worry, drinking Sherry is cool again). So if you want to play by the rules, do not order that sweet cocktail I know you’re secretly craving! Save that for later at the bar.

The top 6 tips for ordering wine in a restaurant As a former wine waiter (Sommelier/Somm) I know a thing or two about ordering wines in restaurants.

[dsmroleplay]

#BeginsWithAHeaderNowFrienship #DSM #SPN #RP Part One

Co written by @HuntersGirlBaby & @HuntressJo_Rp

Aly - NewChristmasHeader Just for the Christmas season!

Jo - She's at it again, loves it, Aly.

Aly - *blushes* Thank you, Jo! It means a lot to me. I couldn’t help myself today. *beams*

Jo - You go sweetheart. I'm glad you are getting into the Christmas spirit. Are you getting yourself organized?

Aly - *brightly smiles.* I’m so excited for Christmas! Oh yes, everything has its place!

Jo - {She smiles at her } I can't wait for Christmas this year as I have a family to care for this year. I hated I was pulled away to not celebrate thanksgiving with my special family. I hope nothing will pull me away again. I need to start to get myself organized. I hate shopping.

Aly - I can help! Whatever you need, I’ll be happy to lend a hand! *giving her a gentle smile.* Oh no, don’t be sorry! Things happen for us all. We did miss you so much! I’ll go shopping with you or even for you!

Jo - Now you are talking Aly, [She smiled at her knowing she was out her comfort zone with the idea of shopping]I would love to spend time with you and I need all the help in the world with shopping. Because what do you get the Winchester boys especially one of them who has everything? Plus I need to get to know you, Aly our girlie day still needs to be planned.

Aly - I would love to spend time with you too! *she beamed a smile. So excited that she would get to spend time with Jo. Even though she didn’t know her well, Ali had missed her a lot.* You know the right girl! And I’ll make it painless, in and out with shopping! *her whole face  lit up.* Yes! I’ve been looking forward to our girlie day! It doesn’t matter we do, as long as I get to spend time with you!

Jo - Jo couldn't help but smile. She wanted to spend time with the only female Winchester. She hoped the bonding would bring her and Aly closer. Since the girls need to stick together. Jo hoped that all would turn to her if she needed help with anything ad Aly had offered to help with shopping. ”When are you free Aly to have our girlie day? ” She asked.

Aly - *she bounced a little on the balls of her feet.* I’m free when it’s good for you, I’m flexible! *it would be nice to have a woman to do things with. Yeah, she kept herself busy. But with Jo, she was family. And she wanted to be close to all her family.* We’re going to have so much fun! Maybe we can even have sleep overs! I’ve never done that before. But first we get you settled and comfortable! *she beamed.

Jo - A smile danced across her face. ” Absolutely I can't wait to spend time with Aly. We can teach each other with everything we both like. As I'm not exactly a girlie girl but I can't wait to get to know you. Maybe I can call you daddy to organized a few days off, maybe over the weekend and you can help me move in and we can watch movies and eat chocolate. If you are free?

Aly - *she beamed a bright smile.* I would love that! *she danced a little.* I love the outdoors but I do enjoy being a girly girl sometimes. *rubbing her stomach.* You had me chocolate! And I’m free! And I’m excited to learn all about you and what you enjoy doing! And learning from  you. You are a kick butt woman and awesome! So you have me this weekend!

Jo - *Jo smiled softly * You certainly take after your daddy if you are an outdoor fan, Aly. I did try to once to get your daddy to go horseback over the grand canon in las Vegas but our trip was caught short. Now I need to put that back on my bucket list. What kind of outdoor things do you like to do? *She smiled looking at Aly* I'm looking forward to the weekend now Since I'm getting to spend time with you now Aly.

Jo - *she beamed a smile, a blush colored her cheeks.* Thank you Jo! I love hearing that. *her eyes go wide.* If I know daddy, that will happen! Daddy always does that. It will be marked off again, promise! *her smile grew.* I love to ride horses! They’re so sweet too! Driving  the ATV’s. Working on ranch. *she taps her chin.* Muddin is fun too! I hope to go camping too! And shoot a gun once to see what it’s like. *smiling at her.* We are going to have a blast! Now your turn, what do you like to outdoors?

Jo - *Jo couldn't help but smile some more listening to Aly* Yeah I hope so plus he's the guy you can always count on, on the good and bad times. I just wish I knew how to say thank him. Camping is fun. Have you ever been to music festival with camping involved Aly? Those are the best with how crazy things can get with mud and good music. I just love doing anything that I can get my feet into like a sky diving and  Bungee jump the higher the better. You could say I'm a little daredevil, but I do like to be around the ranch you guys have. Sometimes I've just walked around the ranch to find some peace and calm surrounds, with the lake and the animals. It's like my escape from Work. What do you like around the ranch?

Aly - No! I’ve never been to something like that. Sure I’ve heard of them. But never went. I would love to go to something like that. I love music! It’s..its..music is hard to explain. There just something about it. *she smiled wider.* You are a daredevil! But it sounds like so much fun! *she perked up when asked about the ranch.* Spend time with the fur babies, all of them. I sing to the horses! And they love it. *laughs softly.* I’m better with animals then people. Which I don’t mind really. I’m getting better on that end, slowly. I love tinker around on things. I put in a hearing a cooling system in for the horses. I like knowing they are comfortable. Ooo, we could ride horses together sometime! *smiles* I think with daddy, seeing someone he cares about smiling and happy is thanks for him. I know I’m that way. How long have you known daddy?

Jo - Jo couldn't believe Aly hadn't had the opportunity to go to music festivals. Now I know I need to get for you. Would you mind coming with me if I manage to get some tickets when the festive start up again next year? I can understand music everyone needs music in there lives. I just love music all types of genre of music. she offers a smile with a little puzzling look- fur babies? -She asked- what're favourite animals on the ranch?. I see that a lot of people like animals more than people. Is that because animals are more loyal than people? -Jo smiled brightly with aly suggesting of going horse riding. - I would love that Aly. I would jump at any excise to go horse riding especially with you. It's one of my favourite part-time when I'm not working. -Jo needed to think about Aly question about how long exactly she knew Colt. When she scratched her cheekbone with her fingernail- er awhile I can't exactly remember how long, but he's always been there when I need him or not needed him. He just turns up and now our friendship just builds up from here. Now I don't know what I would do without him. You could say he's my hero now. As I don't know how many times he's saved my ass on hunts now.

Aly - *her whole face lit up.* I would love to go with you, Jo!! *she almost squealed.* It will be so much fun to go with you, listen to music, dance and sing! *she danced a little at how excited she was.* It will be amazing! *though she figured there would be a lot of people. She would have Jo there. It would make it much easier. Ali knew that her and Jo would come amazing friends. Ones that lasted over a life time together. She giggled.* Fur babies, are my dogs. I have three now! And they are the best dogs around. Then there’s the alpacas! You will get to meet them all! And I can’t wait! *she was smiling so much her cheeks hurt.* Daddy took me riding on Jericho! And I love that horse. He’s like an old soul. He listens when you talk and gives amazing hugs! *there was hunting again. One day she was going to learn what  that was. But if it was anything like what daddy and Cowboy did. She would worry for Jo.* Jo..you stay safe when you work right? I think it’s not the most safest thing to do. And I want you to come home safe. You’re family, and I always worry about family.

Jo - Jo didn't care she took Aly hands in hers and started to bounce around with her in a circle, with Aly and her going to a music festival next year. This may have been a little immature but this was a dare for sure that She was a pencil in her dairy. Spending more time with Aly with their wheelies deep in mud listening to good music. After a few minutes of laughing and spinning around with Aly when Jo stopped them. She was grinning trying to compose herself. ”You have three  dogs I hope to meet them very soon. Was this your dad's way of giving you some guard dogs? •She smiled at Aly waiting for a reacting• when they finally stop falling onto the floor when Jo catches her breathe with the room spinning around. She thought how to tell Aly about her work had she said too much• Yes I'm carefully but I'm going, to be honest with you. I was naïve when I was chasing some people and I was caught short with the actual numbers when I was outnumbered in  this farmland. When I was saved by your daddy and his team. •Jo stopped what she was saying bring back those memories she needs to live with every day.•

Aly - *she giggled and smiled. Feeling light on her feet, happy to be able to go with Jo to the music festival! She couldn’t believe it. It was amazing that she would get to share this with Jo. It would be their thing. Each year going to these, it could be their special thing. Ali danced and spun with Jo. Holding onto her. Is this what it felt like to have a best friend? Ali would have to say yes!* Oh yes you will get to meet them! *she laughed as she fell to the ground with Jo.* Actually, I got them but daddy thought it a good idea! My own guards that  go with me everywhere! *she was laughing more and trying to catch her breath. Listening to Jo, she peeked over at her. Slowly she took Jo’s hand in hers and squeezed it.* I’m glad daddy and his team saved you Jo. No matter what happened. Know that you did all you could. *she  spoke softly. Moving closer to Jo, she rested her head on her shoulder.* I’m here whenever you need me Jo, I promise.

Jo - Jo couldn't help but laugh swirling around faster with Ali. She was beginning to act like a teenager again laughing and giggling with Ali. Forgetting about her being an actual adult for once and able to have some fun for a change. When she  stopped to cuddle Ali. she talked sorely with her cheeks turning a light shade of red trying to catch her breath. ”How about we shopping later? Because I'm getting my keys to my place tomorrow. I'm just glad I don't need to decorate it as  it's a new build. Plus you know I'll be here for you too. She smiled which wasn't a lie. When Jo looked into Aly eyes she saw a friendship and a little sister she never had in her life. Since it's was always just her and her mom when she was growing up.

[junker-town]

Can Joel Embiid save the Philadelphia 76ers?

Is Joel Embiid enough to save the Sixers?

The Sixers’ fit issues can be solved if their star center is the best version of himself.

One minute into their overtime loss against the Oklahoma City Thunder, the Philadelphia 76ers traveled back in time. The play began on the left wing with the ball in Joel Embiid’s hands. He sized up Steven Adams, thought about launching a quick three and then passed out to Tobias Harris at the top of the key.

Embiid then lowered his shoulder into Adams’ chest and threw up his arm. At the same time, Al Horford ducked into the paint, right in front of Danillo Gallinari. Harris considered Embiid, but then saw Horford call for the ball and tried to feed him.

It was a basketball sequence that belongs in 1995. This is how it looked:

Nine days before that, in crunch time against the Utah Jazz, Embiid stumbled through a clunky two-man action with Josh Richardson. It yielded a stepback from just outside the paint. Again, instead of spacing the floor, Horford did Utah’s defense a favor by running to the opposite block to position himself for a potential offensive rebound.

We’re 15 games in and Philadelphia’s season is already stocked with needlessly ineffective possessions that resemble those two seen above. Diagnosing the problem is easy, but knowing where things go from here is not. Were both symptoms of an unworkable on-court partnership, or more just what tends to happen when new teammates need some time to figure each other out? Zoom out and an even scarier question pops into view: Is Embiid good enough to make everything OK?

Awkward fits have been Philadelphia’s calling card for the past two years. By himself, Embiid has pretty much been able to elevate them over any self-created faults — including Ben Simmons’ unwillingness to shoot, Wednesday’s three notwithstanding — but this year’s roster is fused together in a particularly uncomfortable way.

Embiid’s presence is what fuels the championship-or-bust urgency that’s felt through Philadelphia, and even though the Sixers have traditionally refused to function without him, right now their 18th-ranked offense hardly gets better with Embiid on the court. He’s their best player by a long mile, a generational center as powerful and gigantic as he is nimble and technically proficient. But this team limits his strengths in a way that should concern everyone who predicted a trip to the Finals. Embiid could be the most unstoppable player in basketball, and it’s a minor tragedy that he isn’t close to showing why on a nightly basis.

His numbers aren’t disappointing, per se, but they’re also static, which should be a concern for any 25-year-old superstar. On a per possession basis, Embiid is essentially the same player he was a year ago. Similar usage while averaging nearly the same amount of points, assists, and rebounds. His shots are at the exact same volume — even if a few at the rim have been transferred out to the three-point line — and he’s posting up more often, but for the most part Embiid is what he was last year.

This is simultaneously impressive and disappointing. JJ Redick and Jimmy Butler — Embiid’s two most complementary teammates — were replaced by Richardson and Horford. As a pick-and-roll shot maker with three-point range who doubles as a bloodhound on the other end, the 76ers need Richardson to provide the best of what Butler and Redick did in one body. So far he’s been a little turnover prone and hasn’t shot the ball particularly well, but he makes sense next to Embiid and the Sixers are pounding teams when both share the floor.

And then there’s Horford. Being that Embiid’s long-term health is the most important variable for Philadelphia’s entire organization, acquiring the best available insurance policy always made sense. The risk was inherent — Horford is 33, has endured regular knee problems, and cost a lot of money — but he’s also incredibly smart, with a skill-set that’s as essential as it is scarce: the stretch five who passes, posts, and can anchor a quality defense. Thanks to Horford, the Sixers aren’t completely lost without Embiid, but when neither is in the game they play like the worst team in the league.

And when you lose Redick’s three-point shot and off-ball wizardry plus Butler’s get-a-bucket star quality, then throw Simmons’ offensive handicaps into the mix, Horford and Embiid don’t make much sense together, especially in crunch time. (Horford was benched down the stretch of a close game against the New York Knicks on Wednesday night.)

It’s too early to claim Horford benefited from Boston’s ecosystem as much as he elevated it, and too dramatic to say he misses Isaiah Thomas, Kyrie Irving, or even Marcus Smart — a teammate who can explode off his ball screen or zoom around a dribble hand-off, draw two defenders, then kick back to him for an open three — but Horford was the connective tissue on those Celtics teams. Now, when beside Embiid, he sports the usage rate of a foot stool and a true shooting percentage that would embarrass Andrea Bargnani.

(The Sixers are the least threatening pick-and-roll team in the league, in both volume and efficiency.)

Philadelphia’s offense runs out of air when both big men share the floor. It scores at a bottom-five rate, and tends to be sticky, with talented, smart players all trudging uphill to give each other an advantage that may not even be possible.

Brett Brown’s solution is to stagger his two centers, which makes sense but doesn’t solve any long-term problems. It also leads us to another simple yet devastating question: if Horford can’t make Embiid better what’s the point of bringing him onboard in the first place?

Horford will eventually make more than 32 percent of his threes, but the Sixers need to involve him in more ways that accentuate his passing and vision. They’ve tried running him and Embiid together in pick-and-rolls, but it’s not the most complicated action to defend, and especially tough with Simmons also on the court.

Plays like this add to the list of reasons why Embiid has been unable to dominate at the MVP level we’re accustomed to seeing. Some of his relatively lackluster production can be attributed to new teammates, as has been discussed. Some of it’s because the Sixers would rather Embiid be fresh in the playoffs than exhaust himself during the regular season. (He’s already missed four games and is averaging nearly five fewer minutes than he did a year ago — although a few blowouts and an ejection for wrestling Karl-Anthony Towns contribute here.) There’s also the slight possibility that Embiid simply isn’t as good as his gregarious personality might lead observers to believe, but I don’t buy that at all. His ceiling still might be higher than any player in the league.

The crux of Philly’s offensive conundrum is that too often Embiid functions to serve his teammates instead of it being the other way around. In an ideal situation, Embiid would not launch over five threes per 36 minutes, or habitually spot up 28 feet from the basket to “drag” his man out of the paint. Whoever’s guarding him is usually happy to leave him there:

He’s not a bad shooter, but the opportunity cost of drawing a double-team and kicking out to an open teammate, or muscling his way through single coverage on the block, or leveraging his unprecedented combination of size, skill, and explosiveness as a legitimate roll threat instead of someone who pops to the perimeter after a screen, is humongous.

There’s no excuse for Embiid to average .75 points per possession as a roll man. It’s insane. Some of it’s because Philadelphia’s roster doesn’t brim with capable pick-and-roll playmakers. Butler is gone. Harris and Embiid’s relationship is oddly inverted, with the center feeding the wing for post-up chances. But hope is not lost entirely. Look at this late-game sequence with Raul Neto. (Notice Horford spotting up in the weak-side corner, and the absence of Simmons.)

Embiid already averages more post-ups than every team except the Los Angeles Lakers and San Antonio Spurs, but that shouldn’t preclude him from operating with his back to the basket more than he does, even if defenses send help on the catch. Give him a cross screen, dump the ball down low, *et voila*: points! This version of him is literally unguardable.

But if the primary cause for this dip in production is a calculated call for self-preservation then it makes sense to stick Embiid on the perimeter as much as possible. Instead of tussling in the paint he can mind his own business and snooze through entire possessions at a time.

Moments like the one seen above illustrate why he’s moving slower than any other time in his career. If he’s playing himself into shape, that’s not great. If he’s catching in-game breaks like LeBron James used to do, all the power to him.

Even though the regular season can be a drag for teams that think they can win it all, the Sixers are not positioned to coast through it with the confidence of an actual champion. They need to use all 82 games in ways that unwrinkle issues that will only expand in the playoffs. To start, that means playing Embiid with Horford more than the first five minutes of the first and third quarters, and ensuring those two have an opportunity to figure each other out in crunch time.

This play below isn’t a reinvention of the wheel, but it does get everyone involved and lead to the type of shot Embiid should be taking. More of this:

Philadelphia’s defense is not the problem. It’s massive and dominant and impossible to score on when their five best players are together. But putting the ball in the basket has been a lot more complicated than their overall talent suggests it should be. It’s too early to talk trades, and any significant ones made in the middle of the season (involving either Harris or Horford) won’t be easy to pull off.

Embiid can stand to be more aggressive in the paint, and the Sixers can figure out more ways to get him the ball before the defense can collapse. In the past, he’s been powerful enough to overcome Philly’s bizarre roster makeups, but what we’ve seen so far might be an insurmountable challenge. Eventually, whether it’s next year or before the trade deadline, this team will need to find more players who directly complement their franchise everything. That’s traditionally how title contenders are built, and the Sixers can’t call themselves one until they figure out a way to correct their ongoing mistake.