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sturniolos-blog · 2 months

Note

dad!matt but reader is struggling w an ed while going thru pregnancy..?

Eating disorder - Matt Sturniolo x Y/n oneshot

warnings - eating disorder (don’t read if you’re not comfortable,) throwing up, sad, fluff, self consciousness, insecurity, mentions of a handjob, slight arguing

disclaimer: first person POV

—————————

1:24pm

It was hard for me, to be pregnant and barely see her husband.

It was harder to see women he was friends with that was the definition of beauty.

All of it was hard.

As I stood at the kitchen island, staring at the to go box of food Matt had left for her before he’d gone to work.

I got this from Buffalo Wild Wings, I know you’ve been craving spicy stuff. Love you so much, baby(s) -Matt

The note read, I wanted to crack a smile, dive in to the food. But I couldn’t, my mind didn’t let me.

You’re not supposed to eat. You’re already gaining enough weight with the baby. Matt’s not gonna know, throw it out, pig.

My thoughts ran wild and mean. I didn’t particularly think i was a big person, I definitely wasn’t skinny but I also definitely wasn’t fat, maybe a couple pounds “overweight.” But the expectation nowadays want you to be perfect or else you’re not good enough.

I let out a sigh, picking the to go box up and bringing it to the trash, shoving the box in the bottom of the trash, knowing that if Matt saw the box in the trash he would freak.

—————————

8:48pm

The rest of the day consisted of me sleeping on the couch, or watching TV. Getting up to wipe counters and vacuum occasionally, but otherwise just not doing anything else. Not like being 7 months pregnant was easy.

I scrolled through the channels with a bored look on my face, my hand holding my head up as my elbow was propped on the arm of the couch.

The door opened and Matt came in, holding another bag of food, with a big smile plastered on his face.

I internally sighed, guilt already eating away at me.

“How are both my babies?” Matt laughed, taking his shoes off and placing the bag of food on the coffee table before kneeling on the couch over me and kissing me softly.

He pushed into the kiss a little more before pulling away with a big smile, “Hi, pretty girl.” He whispered.

There it was again, pretty. That word, was he saying that because I’m his baby mama? Is he saying that because he doesn’t want me to be insecure? Or is he saying that be-

“Hey..” Matt grabbed my chin, making me look at him as he sat down regularly on the couch. “You okay?”

I picked at my ear and nodded, “I’m fine.” I said, pulling my hand away from my ear.

Matt let out a laugh and shakes his head, “You pick at your ear when you’re nervous or lying, so what is it? Am i making you nervous or am i being lied to?” He taunted.

I scoffed, my hand going to pick at my ear again but i caught my self, placing my hand in my lap. “Sorry, i’m fine. This baby just keeps pushing on my bladder, speaking of I have to use the bathroom.” I let out a short laugh, struggling to get up.

Matt stood up and helped me, “Okay, well I got in n out because I know you’ve been craving burgers lately.” He said, kissing the side of my forehead.

I shook my head, picking my ear once again but this time he didn’t notice as he started taking the burgers out of the bag. “Uh- i actually made a sandwich like twenty minutes ago so i’m not really hungry.” I said nervously, picking at my fingers.

Matt nodded, “That’s fine, baby. Now go use the bathroom before we have another accident like last week.” Matt teased.

I let out a scoff, “Screw you! I told you I had to go but you insisted on me giving you a ha-”

“Okay! Okay, go.” Matt cut me off as he let out another laugh.

—————————

9:57pm

I lathered lotion on my hands as i stood in front of the mirror in Matt and I’s room, smearing some on my neck and chest.

Matt came in with his hair wet, shirt off with sweatpants, coming up behind me and kissing the back of my neck, then kissing my cheek. His hand going to my belly, squeezing softly.

I smiled before he pulled away starting to get into bed as I started to put some overnight cleanser on my face.

“You sure you’re not hungry, n/n? I know you get hungry later at night now.” Matt urged on as he got comfy under the sheets.

I shook my head, “No that salad I had really filled me up.” I laughed, starting to get into bed.

Matt gives me a weird look, “I thought you had a sandwich.” He points out.

Shit.

“I had a sandwich and a salad so i’m extra full, can we drop it?” I snapped, not meaning to but it just came out.

“Alright, alright.” Matt said as i climbed into bed.

I turned off the lamp, the room going silent.

“Can we cuddle?” Matt whispered.

I let out a sigh, putting my arms out for Matt.

He immediately crawled into my touch, his head going onto my chest as his hand rubbed my belly, a gesture i used to hate, because i was fat.

—————————

8:34am

I wake up slowly, letting out a soft groan as i open my eyes. I let out a hum as i turn my head, looking over to see Matt’s head on his pillow, his face towards me as he slept.

His pink lips were slightly parted as he continued to take slow, unconscious breaths.

He was laying on his stomach as his arm was draped right under my pregnant belly.

I smiled before slowly removing his arm. He let out a small hum before he started to wake up.

“Mm.. good morning.” Matt said with his sleepy, morning voice.

“Sorry.. i didn’t mean to wake you up.” I apologized as I stood up.

Matt shook his head, indicating it doesn’t matter. He then gives me a confused look, “Where are you going?” He said as he rubbed his eyes.

“Bathroom, I told you this baby of yours likes to push on my bladder.” I complained as i started to walk towards the bathroom.

Matt lets out a laugh.

“Shut up!” I yell as I close the bathroom door.

I do my business before standing up, standing at the sink to wash my hands.

My eyes glance down at the water as it runs through my fingers.

The water starts spinning.

I look up to look at myself in the mirror, but I was also spinning, i couldn’t keep focus.

Everything was turning around me as I stumbled and almost lost my buisness. My back hit the door harshly.

“Babe, you okay?” Matt calls out.

I swallow harshly as I try to gain my balance, I try to speak. “M-matt, i think i-”

Thump.

Everything went black.

—————————

10:32am

I slowly blink my eyes open, my body hurting as i regain my conscious.

I let out a groan as I look around, noticing that I was in a hospital room.

“Baby? Hold on, n/n. Wait.” I hear Matt’s voice tell me, putting a hand on my leg.

“What happened?” I croak out.

“Just uh- drink this, sweetheart.” He said, a harsher tone to his voice, putting a cup of water in front of my face with a bendy straw poking out of it.

I bring my lips to the straw, sucking slowly as i swallow, my dry throat getting moist from the water.

I watch as a doctor comes in the room, holding a tablet.

“Y/n! So good to see you awake. Now, let’s talk. I’m gonna ask you a couple questions and i need you to answer truthfully and with full honesty.” She says.

I rub my eyes and nod, moving to sit up, rubbing my head but immediately groaning in pain as i feel a wrap around it, assuming i hit my head when i passed out.

I grabbed Matt’s hand.

“Okay, do you know where you are?”

“Los Angeles Hospital.”

She nodded and smiled, “Good, good. Next, do you know what happened?”

I look away for a second, thinking. “I passed out. Everything got spinny and then went black.” I explained.

She nodded, “Y/n, have you ever suffered from an eating disorder?” She asks.

I look at Matt who’s face turned pale, i shook my head. “Never.”

Matt squeezed my hand.

“Okay, well, Y/n, do you know the reason you passed out?” The doctor asks me, her tucking her hair behind her ear.

I shook my head as I picked my ear. I hear Matt let out a scoff.

The doctor looks at Matt, “Is something wrong, Mr.Sturniolo?”

He shook his head and cleared his throat, standing up. “I’m just gonna go grab something from the vending machine, i’ll be back.”

I held onto Matt’s hand tighter, shaking my head. “Matt, please.” I whispered, my voice cracking slightly. I could tell something was wrong.

Matt clenched his jaw, looking at me before he nodded.

“Alright, Y/n, well the reason you passed out is because your labs show you haven’t eaten in a while, which is bad for a normal person, but even worse for a woman carrying a child. You see, your body is giving energy too two living beings, your food is shared, your sleep is shared, everything is shared. So when you don’t eat, it’s not just taking energy from you it’s taking energy from the both of you.” She explains.

“Oh, i just- i don’t- uhm-” I shake my head, not knowing what to say.

“Okay, i can give you two a minute or two to maybe talk and process, and then we can talk about things we have to make sure happens for the future and for your baby girl to be healthy.” The doctor says, walking out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Mat stands up and starts pacing the room as he bites his thumb nail.

“Matt-”

“Don’t!” He raises his voice. “You were struggling and you didn’t tell me? How could you do that to me? What are we even married for if you won’t tell me things like this?” He yells at me.

“Don’t yell at me! It’s not an everyday thing t-that you struggle with y-your body, a-and that you feel guilty everytime you take a bite of something! So d-do not come at me for not telling you that!” I yell back as my voice cracks.

A guilty look appears on Matt’s face, “I’m sorry. I just wish you would’ve told me. I want us to be able to tell each other things like this, we’re married, y/n. Married.”

I nod and sniffle, “I’m sorry.” I whisper out.

He shakes his head, putting his hand on my cheek as he kisses me softly. “It’s okay, just next time, please tell me.”

I nod and he kisses me again.

—————————

So this is the end hope you liked it idk why it took me so long i’m in another writers block like help anyway hope yall liked

taglist: @sturniolosmind @novasturniolo03 @hearts4chriss @vinniehackerslefttoe @christhopersturniolo @mattybswife @streamermattsgf @sturnolio-luvs

#matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #spotify

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dbnightingale24 · 2 months

Text

My Little Decoy

A StevexReaderxBucky Messy Triangle

Another story for Patreon! So, for this one, I'm a bit anxious (when am I not?), because this definitely took off in the complete opposite direction of what I initially planned. That being said, I hope you all enjoy it!

Thank you as always to @fuckingbye for the amazing moodboard, I love you to bits for literally everything you do! I was in the middle of updating three other stories when this idea came to me, so please just work with me! (I'm so sorry I'm like this.)

Anywho, here we go!

Word Count: 34,776 (I'm not even gonna apologize anymore)

Warnings: Honestly, this entire fucking story. SMUT (MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY), Threesome, Lying, Infidelity, Emotional Cheating, Swearing, Drinking, Infertility, Family Drama, Angst, Lusting, Daddy Kink, Running Away, Tie Play, Cuff Play, Crying, Fluff, Best friends to lovers...that's all I can think of? They're honestly so many.

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: Don't Look So Blue, You Should've Seen Right Thru, I'm Using You, My Little Decoy

Summary: You truly do have the best intentions when you try to move on and suppress your feelings for your best friend Steve, and try to move on with Bucky. Unfortunately, life doesn't give a damn about intentions. Neither does love.

I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to get posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

You wonder how the hell it got to this point in the first place as you lay in Steve’s soft bed sheets. What feels like it should be a quiet moment of peace is juxtaposed with your current reality; Bucky pounding on the front door and you and Steve conspiring to think of some kind- any kind- of excuse.

You truly don’t understand how it got to this.

It all feels like it started so long ago. You didn’t even know 6 years could feel so fast, much less pass so quickly. You look around at where you are now, at Steve, as you listen to the shaking of the front door against Bucky’s fist as he continues thumping away. Fuck. What if memories lie? Maybe it is that long ago.

6 Years Earlier...

“Babe, you ever had a night out in the city?” Bucky asked as you took off your gear.

Training was brutal and everyone was looking for a way to relieve stress. You knew The Avengers were all planning to meet up at some club downtown, but you had other plans.

“I have, and as much fun as it can be, I have other plans,” you laugh as you take your hair out of the tightest ponytail you’d ever had it in.

“Oh? What are you getting into?” Natasha laughs, making her way over with Bruce holding onto her as if he’d lose her.

“My friend’s band is playing tonight. I promised her I’d go if we finished up early enough.”

“Oh, this I gotta see!” Bruce chimes in as you laugh and shake your head. “You never let us have a peak into your personal life!”

“God, I haven’t been to a show in forever,” Natasha chimes in with raised eyebrows.

He wasn’t wrong. You played everything so close to the chest; wanting to keep those you love and care for the most safe...wanting to keep yourself safe. Since none of them were relenting (not to mention they’re the damn Avengers), you finally agreed and told them to meet you outside of your room at the compound in about two hours.

“Is it too late for me to get in on this?” Steve asks just as the group was about to disperse.

“There you are!” Bucky interjects before anyone has a chance to say anything. “Y/N is giving us a peak into her personal life! We’re all meeting at her place in two hours and going from there,” he laughs patting his best friend on the back.

Steve looked at you with a cocked eyebrow and you just laugh and nod, giving him the ‘OK’ to tag along. Unbeknownst to the others, you and Steve hung out the most. No, he’d never been privy to your personal life, but you two spent a lot of time watching movies and listening to music together on the weekends. Occasionally, Bucky would get in on the action, but it was mainly you and Steve. You and Steve had a certain level of comfort that you didn’t have with the rest of them. It was more of an unspoken, private thing and that’s how the both of you preferred it. You both understood each other, and neither of you ever made the other feel sad or out of place for things that had gone wrong in each other’s past. You both had wounds you were still healing from, and you gave each other the space needed for that to happen.

You’d always had a thing for Steve. He kept himself at a distance, so it was difficult for you to tell if he ever felt the same. After a while, you’d stopped trying and just accepted him as a friend. He told you that he’d wanted to go back and stay with Peggy, but he was too afraid to leave Bucky on his own again, so he’d come back instead. He wasn’t even sure if Bucky would ever be okay with being alone; Steve just stayed without asking him. It seemed like the right thing to do, and he didn’t hate the current timeline too much.

Soon enough, everyone is in your small little complex, drinking and laughing as you put together the last bit of your outfit. The thought of Steve joining all of you had you more anxious than you cared to admit, so you chalked it up to the normal anxiety of inviting your work colleagues into your personal life.

Which was more than fair.

“I’m sure you look amazing, lets go! I’m too excited for this!” Natasha hollers as she makes her way into your bedroom.

“Nat!”

“Oh, they’re all in there drinking away! You’re fine,” she laughs, closing the door behind her. “Well shit!”

“I swear to God, I’ll change right now!”

“No! You look amazing!” she promised as her hands covered her mouth. “None of us have ever seen you out of work clothes, and babe...you look amazing,” she laughs in shock.

“Should I change? I don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea-”

“If you’re comfortable, who cares. No one wants to interfere with your personal life. I think we’re all more afraid of pushing you away,” she laughs.

“You really think it’s okay?”

“I mean, I think you’re hot as fuck,” she laughed as you rolled your eyes, “but I think you look amazing.”

“You sure?”

“Get enough alcohol in them , they won’t even notice when you leave for the bathroom,” she laughed.

Even though you laughed along with her, you knew better. James Buchanan Barnes kept his attention on you almost as well as Steve, but you never thought anything of it. It always had a more platonic feeling than with Steve, almost more familial.

When you came out, Steve was the first to look at you. His mouth slightly agape was enough to make you wanna go back, but Bucky was quick to chime in-

“Someone is ready for a night out,” he laughed.

That’s all it took.

Soon enough, you were taking shots and laughing with everyone else. Even Pepper and Tony were excited and joined you all. Your life was something so foreign to them, and you could tell that they all felt extremely excited that you trusted them enough.

In all honesty, you felt more comfortable because Steve was there. You knew he’d never let anything happen to you, and you’d never let anything happen to him. If you were being completely honest, you’d only wanted to invite him out. How it spiraled, you’re still not sure but it did. It The only thing that felt off was letting him see you dressed as you were. It was weird for all of them to see you dressed as you were, but Steve couldn’t take his eyes off you.

You were in red plaid crop top, with tight fighting black jeans that hugged your hips in just the right way, and black low top heels. You put your hair in loose curls, and finished it off with eyeliner and mascara. After a brutal day of training, you really didn’t wanna spend forever doing your makeup, because you knew you’d wanna come home after everything was over and go right back to sleep. Yeah, everything was hugging your body in just the right way, but you weren’t about to change.

You were introducing them to your life.

Before you all left, Thor filled three flasks with his mead from Asgard for himself, Steve, and Bucky and you laughed pretty damn hard.

“We wanna enjoy this night too,” he winked at you as you rolled your eyes.

The walk was easy enough, but it felt like it took forever. People kept asking for pictures with the OG Avengers, they had a million questions, and of course they were all happy to be as kind as possible. It’s not that you minded all that much, but you really missed your best friend. Work had been kicking your ass, she had been extremely busy, and was in the middle of planning her wedding. Nights off were extremely rare, but actually getting to see her and her friends perform? It had been forever.

“You made it!” she squealed once you were finally inside the club with everyone, almost knocking you over with how hard she hugged you.

“I told you I’d show! Even if I would’ve only caught the last song,” you laughed as you hugged her back just as tight. “We still on for drinks after?”

“Fuck yes! Your tits look amazing in this top, we’re definitely getting free drinks out of it,” she beamed with a wink and you burst out laughing. “Okay, I’ve seen all of you on TV, but I still wanna officially meet everyone,” she smiled at everyone. “I’m Meg.”

As everyone went around introduced themselves, you made your way to the bar, to grab your signature Jack and Coke.

“Hell yes! You made it!” Meg’s finance, Paul, beamed as he made your drink.

“Why is everyone so shocked that I’m here?!”

“You haven’t been to a show in years!”

“Blah, blah, blah,” you muttered as you reached behind the bar and grabbed his pack of cigarettes.

“You bring the Avengers with you and you dare to steal from me?” he sneered sarcastically as he handed you your drink.

You laughed as you reached across the bar and kissed his cheek, “I’m sure our friendship will survive it.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Dude, I had no idea the place would be so packed tonight.”

“I have a feeling everyone here had a long ass Friday.” “Yeah, well they better treat my baby right.” “You two!”

He rolled his eyes as he flipped you off, “enjoy the show!”

“Thank you, Paaauuullll,” you sang out as everyone joined you.

You looked up to see Steve staring at you intently, and he quickly turned towards the stage when he realized he was caught. Before you could allow yourself to think on it or feel flattered, you heard your best friend yell from the stage as she started to make her guitar scream.

“We’re ‘Flowers of Cinnamon’, and thanks for spending your Friday night with us!”

From that moment on, you were barely paying attention to your surroundings. With the exception of your drink, you didn’t focus on anything other than your best friend rocking the fuck out. It had always just been a hobby for her, but she had always been so damn good at it. You envied how effortlessly performing came to her. The band was a cross between Paramore, The Bangles, and All Time Low, and they were just as amazing as you remembered. You wouldn’t have been able to stay still even if you’d wanted to. You sang and danced along to every song, bouncing around, and screaming your head off. You had no clue that Steve had been watching you with the biggest grin on his face, Bucky had been watching your chest bounce up and down, or that Tony had been recording your reaction to your best friend’s music, smiling so hard at your happiness.

Every other song, your best friend made eye contact with you and laughed, and nothing else seemed to matter. Thinking back on it, you wished it had, because maybe things wouldn’t have gotten so fucked up, but you were just so damn happy. The more drinks got, the more you danced and sang around, finally feeling comfortable and happy, even with your new set of friends watching you.

“Okay, this is gonna be our last song for the night,” Meg smiled into the microphone and she laughed at amount of “boos” they received. “Listen, I wanna get fucked up too!” she joked, gaining laughs from the crowd. “Okay, so tonight is extremely special because my best friend on the entire planet is here and brought her friends with her! Thanks babe! So, our last song is gonna be a cover of one of her favorite songs ever,” she winked at you as you cocked an eyebrow.

As soon as you heard the first cord of ‘Decoy’ by Paramore hum out of the speakers, you screamed so loud that everyone in your group (and Paul) started laughing.

‘Close your eyes and make believe that this is where you wanna be

Forgetting all the memories, try to forget love cause love’s forgotten me

Well hey, hey baby, it’s never too late

Pretty soon you won’t remember a thing

All I’ll be distant, the stars reminiscing

Your heart’s been wasted on me’

You sang along so effortlessly as you started to jump up and down.

‘You’ve never been so used as I’m using you, abusing you

My little decoy

Don’t look so blue, you should’ve seen right through

I’m using you, my little decoy

My little decoy’

You linked arms with Nat, who clearly didn’t know the song, but was more than happy to sing and dance along with you. You glanced around and it made you so happy to see everyone else happy and having a good time. It’s not like you were a stick in the mud at work but, you never let loose. Even when it came to holiday and birthday parties, you were pretty damn reserved. The only person who can claim that they’ve seen you fucked up is Steve, and even then it was just you being wine drunk on the sofa while you two listened to albums and discussed work.

No, this was you letting lose and everyone accepting it. Accepting you. You looked over at Steve and he a look of pure love and adoration in his eyes, and it made your heart swell.

God, you wished you would’ve paid more attention to the way both he and Bucky looked at you that night, but you were just so damn happy and having so much fun.

If you could turn back time...

“Am I still okay at singing?” Meg asked once she finally made her way over to all of you.

“Dude, you’re still fucking amazing!” you beamed as you wrapped her in a tight hug and she laughed. “That was so good! Thank you for playing ‘Decoy’, almost making me cry!”

“Aha!” she teased before she looked at everyone else. “What about Earth’s mightiest heroes? Were you all able to tolerate it?”

“That was amazing,” Tony laughed, Pepper nodding in agreement.

“Why don’t you do this full time?” Nat asked as you waived Paul down and got another drink for both you and Meg.

“If I did this full time, I’d be so stressed all the damn time,” Meg laughed, “I’m much happier painting.”

“What do you paint? Do you have a studio?” Clint inquired and a smile came to your face.

Things were going better than you could have ever imagined.

As everyone got acquainted, you snuck to have a smoke. A few moments later, a smile came to your face when you saw Steve come out after you.

“You said you’re quitting those,” he nodded towards the cigarette in your hand.

“I stole Paul’s,” you laughed, standing a little further from him so as to not get the smoke in his face.

“I can handle it,” he laughed as he placed his black leather jacket on you. “You’re pretty...exposed and I don’t want you getting cold.”

“Well, aren’t you just the sweetest man?” you teased before you inhaled your cancer stick. “Who else knows about this? I’ll call the ‘New York Times’” He snickered as he shook his head, “quiet you.”

“Are you having fun tonight?”

“I am, I like you seeing like this.”

You scoffed, “crazy?” “Happy...content. Secure.”

You felt your cheeks heat up at his words, and the look he gave you along with it, had butterflies appearing in your stomach.

“We should get back inside,” you smiled at up at him as you ashed the last of your cigarette and threw it in the nearby trash bin.

And maybe that’s when it started.

You just missed all the signs that night, because you were convinced Steve didn’t want you.

He convinced you he didn’t want you.

When the two of you got back inside, Paul had just finished up his shift and the guys had finished helping Meg back up her equipment which she had decided to lock up in the manager’s office for the night.

“Dancing! We need dancing!” she whined once her eyes landed on you.

“Hell yeah we do,” you laughed as you linked arms with both her and Nat.

Once again, you didn’t notice the way Bucky ogled you or the way Steve kept a close eye on you. When you all reached the next bar, you instantly ordered more drinks and pulled Nat and Meg onto the dance floor with you, still wearing Steve’s coat. He leaned against the bar, talking with Tony and Pepper, but still kept an eye on you. As Janet Jackson’s voiced filled the giant building, you danced around with the biggest smile on your face (at some point Meg had put her sunglasses on your face), smiling and waiving at Bucky when you saw his eyes glued to you.

Well, glues to your ass.

By the time everyone was ready to call it a night, you were drunk as shit.

“You’re not coming back to the compound?” Nat asked as she stumbled out after you.

“Nah, I wanna sleep in my own space tonight. It’s closer,” you giggled as you started giving out hugs.

“I can take you,” Bucky offered with a slick grin.

“I can take her, she’s on the way to my house,” Steve countered, and Meg cocked an eyebrow at you.

You just started dancing and walking.

“Goodnight everyone! Get home safe! I love you all!”

You were drunk, tired, and in no mood to figure out whatever that was about. You just wanted to go home and get in your bed. You honestly don’t know why you didn’t go back to the compound that night, but it just felt right to go to your own home. You already spent so little time there to begin with. A few moments later, you heard the hurried footsteps of someone behind you, but you kept looking ahead.

“You’re impatient when you’re drunk,” Steve laughed as he came up beside you.

A small smile came to your face at the fact that Steve was the one to walk you home.

You giggled as you leaned into him, “my feet hurt.”

No sooner than you said it, he scooped you up.

“Steve!”

“You weigh nothing, don’t worry about it, darlin.” “It’s a 30 minute walk!”

“I’m very well aware of where your apartment is.” “Steve-”

“Hush.”

You pouted but did as you were told, leaned into him, and took in the scent that was all his own. Something between woodsy and fresh cut grass. In your drunken state, he felt like home.

“Why didn’t you want Bucky to take me home?” you asked after a few moments, not missing the way he stiffened a bit.

“He’s a little buzzed and he gets a little handsy and flirty at times. I didn’t want him to bother you.” You giggled as you took in more of his scent, “you’re literally carrying me, Steve.” “You said your feet hurt.” “Are you a little buzzed?”

“I definitely don’t feel sober,” he chuckled softly and you softly sighed at the comfort of rumble in his chest.

“Do you wanna sleepover?”

“I’ll order a car service once I drop you off.”

“Why not order one now?”

“It was weird...everyone hanging out tonight. I feel like we haven’t hung out alone together in a while.” “Then why not sleepover?”

“Cause I should go home. I don’t wanna accidentally wake you up or something. You worked hard today and you need rest.” “So did you.” “Y/N.” “You’re so weird sometimes, Steve,” you huffed as you laced your hand with his.

“What are you doing?”

“Holding your hand like I’ve done a million times before. What’s wrong?” “Nothing.”

You rolled your eyes and mumbled, “alright weirdo.” “I’m not being weird.”

“You’re not being normal.”

He let out a frustrated huff, “did you have fun tonight?”

“So much fun, I’m so happy you came out.”

“I’ve missed you, darlin.” “I’ve missed you too. Steve?”

“Hmm?”

“Sleepover.”

“Y/N-” “See? You are being weird. You’ve slept over my place a ton before, in my bed, and it wasn’t weird. What’s so different about tonight?”

He muttered, “so many things.” “Like what?”

“It’s just been a long night.”

“Fine, whatever. Go home, see if I give a fuck.” “Hey!”

“You’re being weird and you won’t tell me why. You know I hate when you do that shit.”

“I just think I should sleep in my own bed, darlin’. I’m not trying to be weird or make you upset.”

He sounded so strained and you couldn’t read his facial expression, so you couldn’t see how torn up he was. You couldn’t tell how much he was at war with himself.

You couldn’t tell how much he wanted you.

He chuckled when you didn’t say anything, “don’t get quiet on me now.”

“Can you at least stay until I fall asleep? It won’t take long.” “Everything okay, darlin’?”

“Yeah Steve, I just miss you,” you confessed softly.

“We’ll do a sleepover tomorrow, alright? We’ll have it at my house.” “Fine.” “Don’t be upset.” “I don’t care.” “You’re also a giant brat when you’re drunk.” “You’re saying that you miss me, but won’t spend time with me!”

God, you sounded like a brat to your own ears. That was a huge part as to why you’d never let him see you so inebriated. It’s why you never wanted anyone from The Avengers (or S.H.I.E.L.D for that matter) to see you so drunk. It became harder for you to suppress your feelings for Steve, and he’s all you wanted when you were drunk. For reasons unknown to you (at the time), Steve wanted to go home. That should’ve been enough, but your drunk wanted to hold him all night.

You were going out of your way to start an argument.

He let out a heavy sigh as he reached your complex, “I’ll stay-”

“Don’t do me any fucking favors-” “Will stop arguing with me? And stop with swearing, you know I hate it.” “Well maybe I hate you.”

He scoffed hard at that, “no you don’t.”

“You don’t know that-”

“Yes I do, so stop saying it. I’ll stay, okay?”

“And you’ll sleep next to me?”

“Yes darlin’, I will sleep next to you.”

You pressed a soft kiss to his neck and you felt his grip on you get tighter, “thank you, Steve!”

“Anything for you, sweetheart.”

That night, he was good to his word and slept next to you, letting use his chest as a pillow and you were asleep almost instantly. The next day, he was back to normal and you didn’t think anything of his behavior from the previous night. You had no reason to. However, from that day on, things did slowly start to change more.

It started with Bucky coming around more, especially when Steve was with you. You couldn’t sense it, because has always been entirely too good at hiding his emotions, but he slowly became frustrated. So much that he basically stopped coming around all together.

“Hey, are you busy?” you asked timidly as you approached his office one day.

“Yeah, unfortunately.” “Oh...okay then-”

“What’s wrong?”

“No, you’re busy and I don’t wanna take up your time...”

You could feel your eyes welling up and didn’t know why. Steve always had a way of making you so damn soft and vulnerable, and you truly hated it.

You still hate it.

“Darlin’-” “Please stop calling me that. The guy who started calling me that doesn’t seem to exist anymore. If he does, he’s making sure to stay away from me.”

“He still exists-” “Then what’s going on? Why are you staying away from me?”

He sighed as he threw down his pen, “nothing-”

“Alright, if you’re just gonna lie to me-” “I’m not lying!”

“Steve, you saw me walking with Bucky yesterday and literally turned in the other direction and walked away.” “You guys are just hanging out a lot now and I don’t wanna third wheel-” “You wouldn’t third wheeling! We’re just friends!”

“Y/N...” “Steve, why are you just abandoning me? You’re the one I’m closest to and you know that. You’ve always known that,” you sobbed as you closed the door behind you.

“Please don’t cry-” “Then why are you abandoning me?! What did I do wrong?!”

“Nothing-”

“Then what the fuck?! You’ve been acting so strange, but you’re saying I haven’t done anything! If I didn’t do anything, what the fuck is going on with you?!”

He let out another frustrated sigh and just stared at you, clearly at war with himself.

“Fuck this and fuck you, I give up,” you sobbed as you dried your eyes.

“Darlin’”

“Stop calling me that! I’m just Y/N and you’re just Steve. I can’t do this with you anymore!”

After you stormed out, things only got worse, because you’d never felt so low and alone in your life. Unless it had to do with a mission or training, you barely even looked his way. The farther you got away from Steve, the more Bucky swooped in. In fact, the more you look at how everything happened, you realize that things wouldn’t have gotten so bad if you’d just shut things down with the both of them.

However, it’s not as if thinking with a broken heart ever lead to a good thing.

You cried a lot and Bucky was just there for you. He was sweet, he listened, and let you keep your secrets. Sure, he asked what happened between you and Steve (everyone was), but he dropped it when you told him you wouldn’t be talking about it.

You can’t explain what you don’t know.

“Hey doll, we’re goin’ out tonight. You wanna come? Invite Meg!” Bucky asked one night after you let him in your apartment on the compound.

“Nah, I’ve got a hot date with a black and white French film and a few glasses of wine,” you smiled weakly.

“You can’t stay in here forever.”

“I don’t. Sometimes I go home.” “Babe-”

“I just wanna stay in, Buck,” you sighed as someone else knocked on your door. “I guess I’m just the most popular girl in the world.”

When you opened it the second time, Steve stood there looking just as upset as you felt. Instead of even trying to attempt to hear him out, a rage flared up inside you and you had to force yourself to not shove him. As far as you were concerned, he had a lot of fucking nerve to show up at your place after all the shit that happened in his office.

“What?”

“I wanted to know if you’re coming out tonight-”

“No.”

“Well, can I come in and we can talk? I know I owe you an explanation-”

“I don’t want an explanation anymore, Steve,” you lied harshly, “I just want you to leave me alone. I stood in your office and cried like a fucking dumbass...that was a month ago. Now you wanna talk? Just leave things as they are.”

You truly wish you hadn’t spoken out of anger because none of it was true. You cried over him whenever you were alone, you missed hanging out with him, you missed falling asleep next to him...you missed Steve. Your Steve.

You’ve always been a hot head.

“Darlin-” “What have I told you about that?” “Y/N, just give me a few minutes-”

“No, go away. Unless it has to do with work, we don’t have anything to talk about.” “You don’t mean that,” he more pleaded than told you.

“I’ve never meant it more!”

“Y/N-”

Bucky sighed as he came up behind you, “she just needs to cool off, Pal.”

If you hadn’t been so upset and hurt you would’ve laughed at how wide Steve’s eyes got.

“We’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“I thought you were coming out. It was your idea in the first damn place,” Steve snapped.

“I don’t wanna leave Y/N while she’s this upset. She shouldn’t be alone right now.”

Steve opened his mouth to say something, but all that happened was he clenched his jaw and looked away before he stormed off, punching the wall on his way out.

You should’ve spoken to him. You should’ve gone after him. Instead you pushed past Bucky and made yourself your first glass of wine of the night.

“Babe-”

“Buck, if you’re gonna stay here tonight, please no lectures. I just wanna be upset, okay?”

He just nodded solemnly, “I get it. No lectures, just drinks and weird French movies,” he smirked and you quietly laughed.

Here’s the thing: it’s not that you never found Bucky attractive, you just never thought about him. You were always thinking about Steve. However, at that time, thinking about Steve brought you too much pain and you didn’t want to feel anymore pain for a while. You just wanted to feel numb. You’d rather have nothing, the void, than hold onto the pain Steve’s brought on.

You rested your legs on him when he sat next to you, not thinking anything of it. When he started stroking your leg after the third glass of wine, you still didn’t think anything of it. You only started to pick up on his actions when he squeezed your thigh a little.

“Buck?”

“Yeah doll?” “What are you doing?”

“Trying to help you relax and feel better.”

“Buck-”

“I’ve never seen you this upset, babe. I just wanna help.”

The thought and the offer were tempting. You couldn’t remember the last time you had gotten off to something other than your vibrator. Of course you’d made subtle advances towards Steve, but he’d clearly turned you down. Plus, the women around the compound did talk. While Bucky had a reputation for being a skirt chaser, he also had a reputation for wearing women out in the best way.

It’s not like you were looking for anything. You just wanted to forget for awhile.

He tested the waters a bit more by sliding his hand further up your leg, waiting to see how you’d respond.

You placed your wine glass on the ground and opened your legs for him a bit, “you just wanna make me feel better?”

“So fuckin’ good, doll,” he husked, as he reached between your legs and easily ripped your panties off, “just lay back and enjoy, baby.”

His movements were slow, but his kisses were desperate. It felt good, but off. Not to mention you felt more guilty with every kiss he gave you, like you were betraying Steve.

‘Fuck Steve,’ you told yourself mentally, ‘he had his chance and he clearly didn’t want it.’

You closed your eyes in a vain attempt to shut out any thoughts of Steve, but that only made his face come to mind. You let out a sound between a moan and a frustrated grunt as you pulled Bucky’s hair.

“Please!”

“Tell me how bad you want it,” he smirked, his hot breath lapped at your pussy.

“So fucking bad, please! Need it!”

“Love seeing you like this,” he cooed, before he dipped down and dove in and his lewd moans filled the room.

This was the moment Bucky became your “decoy”. You didn’t want him in the same way he wanted you, but part of you felt like he didn’t actually give a shit. Since he’d lost Nat to Bruce, Bucky wasn’t ever really looking for a relationship. He liked to play around, entertain a woman (or two) for a few months, then he’d move on. As far as you were concerned, that night was only supposed to be a one time thing.

“F-fuck!” you moaned, doing your best to be in the moment as you lulled your head back while he fucked you with his tongue and massaged your clit with his thumb. “Feels so good, Buck!”

You weren’t lying completely. It’s not as if Bucky was bad at eating you out, he just wasn’t the one you wanted doing it.

You felt him smirk against your folds, and started to grind your pussy against his face, forcing yourself to focus on all the pleasure you felt instead of everything else.

‘Steve doesn’t want you. Steve doesn’t want you. Stop thinking about Steve!’ you told yourself mentally.

When he switched up and started sucking on your clit, he easily pressed two fingers into your soaked folds. You felt the knot in your core tighten and snap.

“FUCK!” you cried out as you came hard and a few tears escaped your eyes.

You hated how the tears weren’t from pleasure, but you masked it well enough as he fucked you through your high.

“Take off that fuckin’ shirt, baby. Let me fuckin’ see you,” he husked as he took off his own shirt and started to undo his jeans.

You were quick to do as he said, taking all of him as you ignored how uncomfortable you felt being so bare beneath him as his mouth glistened with your juices.

You were doing this to feel better, so why weren’t you feeling any better?

“Waited so fuckin’ long, baby,” he groaned as he dipped down and worshiped each of your breasts while his thumb made little circles on your clit.

“Bucky!”

“I know baby, I’m gonna take care of you, gonna take such good care of you,” he moaned before you felt his tongue on the side of your neck, licking up little beads of sweat.

You took a deep breath and told yourself you wanted it as you felt him at your entrance. You wanted Bucky. You just needed to let yourself relax.

“Jesus, you’re fuckin’ tight!” he grunted as he pushed into you.

“Oh fuck!”

“I know you can take me, baby! Your wet little pussy is squeezing me so tight, baby!” “Please don’t stop,” you whimpered as you wrapped a leg around his waist, trying to hang on to him as he fucked into you hard and fast.

You wanted this. You agreed to this.

He pushed himself up with his metal arm and looked down at you adoringly, “wanted you for so long, doll. Waited for...ah fuck!”

To avoid feeling anymore guilt, you wrapped an arm around him to pull him close and kissed him passionately, moaning into his mouth when you felt him fill you to the brim. He rode out both your highs before he rested his forehead against yours.

“So good, baby. You tired?” he asked, breath still coming heavy.

You just closed your eyes and shook your head no.

“Good girl.”

Bucky kept at it for a while, not feeling any real pleasure until he brought you off (which you had to fake half the time). There was nothing wrong with him. You found him attractive, and you knew that he wanted you, but it just wasn’t what you wanted. All of it felt so hollow and emotionless on your end. You felt like you were acting and Bucky was working his ass off to please you; to make matters worse, your phone kept going off and you knew who it was.

Steve would’ve hated you if he knew what you were doing and who with, but a part of you felt like he already did. When you both were done, Bucky was a gentleman. He pulled your shirt over your head, carried you to bed, and held you close until you both fell asleep.

You didn’t cry until the next day when you woke up alone in an empty apartment. You ignored calls from both Bucky and Steve, and eventually Bucky was the only one texting you.

Something in you knew that Bucky had confirmed his suspicions, and you just knew he was furious. You and Steve both knew Bucky wasn’t a bad guy, he was just a player and Steve never wanted that for you.

Eventually you cracked and called Meg, and cried while you told her everything.

“Well...fuck,” she muttered once you finally got everything out. “Are you sure Steve knows?”

“His calls and texts were incessant until they weren’t. He hasn’t done either in the last 3 hours.”

“Oh yeah no, he definitely fucking knows. Bucky?”

“Bucky went from every 30 minutes to every other hour.”

“Well, what’s wrong with him?” “Nothing...”

“Except?”

“He’s not Steve.”

“Yeah, but Steve passed up on you, and he was kind of a dick about it. He waited a month until after the office situation? You’ve been showing him your available for how many years? I know you love him, but-”

“I don’t love him.”

“Yeah, cause that’s you’re crying to me about him instead of the skirt chaser that fucked your brains out?”

“Meg.”

“I’m not being insensitive, I’m being honest. Bucky was there last night, clearly wanted you, was with you all night, and all you could think about was Steve. Today, even though Bucky is still texting you, you’re more upset that Steve isn’t because you know he knows. If I were you, I’d be more worried about the guy that’s used to fucking around breaking my heart, than the guy who isn’t,” she sighed.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Steve had his chance, I need to let him go. I’ve been in my room crying all day...I have to stop.”

“Can you?”

“I don’t have much of a choice do I?”

“Babe, if you could end up with Steve, I’d prefer that, but that’s not really an option. Even if he came back, he gave you the run around for a bit. Just focus on you for now and what you want. You always want to make others happy, and you need to focus on you.”

“You’re right. I know you’re right.”

“Do you need me to come over?”

“No, being alone is good for me right now.”

“Alright, I love you, Y/N. It’s gonna be okay.”

You let out a heavy sigh as you sobbed, “I love you,” and hung up.

You ignored Bucky for the rest of the day, feeling guilty about it, but knowing it was for the best. You’d done enough wrong and you truly did need to focus on you and what you wanted.

However, before you fell asleep, you broke down and checked all your texts from Steve.

O Captain, My Captain: Darlin, please just talk to me. I’m so sorry.

O Captain, My Captain: I’m not going out tonight, please just answer me.

O Captain, My Captain: Don’t do anything with Bucky. He’s my best friend, but he’s not worthy of you. He won’t treat you right and you know that.

O Captain, My Captain: Please just answer me.

O Captain, My Captain: If I could take back my actions, I would. I’m so sorry. If you’d just talk to me, I’d be able to make you understand.

O Captain, My Captain: Please talk to me. I miss you so much.

O Captain, My Captain: I’m going to sleep, but give me a call whenever.

O Captain, My Captain: Seriously? All night and you’re still not talking to me?

O Captain, My Captain: Baby, please just talk to me. We’ve never gone this long without talking, and I fucking hate it.

O Captain, My Captain: Y/N...please.

O Captain, My Captain: Bucky just left. You’ve made yourself loud and clear, and fine. I got it.

O Captain, My Captain: Do whatever the fuck you want.

When you woke up the following day, you had the biggest headache from crying, and the last thing you felt like doing was facing either of them. You had a job to do though, and criminals didn’t stop being criminals just because you had a broken heart. Even though you were slower to dress than usual, you were still on time for training, and God, it was brutal.

Bucky kept looking at you, Steve wouldn’t even look your way, and you couldn’t focus. You’d never had a day so bad, and all you wanted was to crawl back into bed. During the meeting after, you just leaned against the wall, barely listening to anything Nick had to say. The one time you bothered to look up, you looked over at Steve and was glaring at you.

God, you really fucking hated yourself.

“Doll, wait up!” Bucky called after you once the meeting was over.

You’d practically run out of the room.

“Bucky, I really just want-”

“What did I do wrong?” he breathed once he caught up to you. “Everything seemed fine on Saturday, I thought we both enjoyed it.”

You didn’t miss the way Steve quietly scoffed as he walked past the both of you.

“Bucky, I just-”

“Did I hurt you? What...I really like you, Y/N. I have for a while and I just...was I too eager?”

You honestly hadn’t expected that.

“Wait...what?”

“I never said anything, because I thought you and Steve had a thing going, but that’s clearly not happening. You were just so upset on Saturday and I wanted to make you happy, and I’ve wanted you for so long...what did I do?”

Trash. You felt like absolute trash.

“I need to get to my room.” “Y/N-”

“Just...I’ll talk to you later, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. I just have a lot going on in my head. I just need to be by myself for a while.”

“Please just-”

“I’ll talk to you later, okay? I’m sorry.”

You can read the rest here.

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berberriescorner · 1 year

Text

Nobody's Gonna Know

(Part One)

Characters: Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as himself x Black!reader (woc!reader), Michael B. Jordan as himself (appearance), and Kiana Ledé as “Jerrika” (appearance).

Summary: What happens when you realize what you’ve always wanted was right in front of your face the entire time?

Warnings: Profanity, daddy kink (you’re not surprised), smut, mentions of violence, drinking, and did I mention smut already😈?

Word Count: (Part One) 4,100+/9,000+. Sorry, lovelies, I couldn’t stop😆.

A/N: Yes, it’s lengthy, but the idea snowballed into something unexpected. I hope you all enjoy it!

Inspired By:

Lounging lazily on your king-size bed, you laid on your back comfortably in an oversized t-shirt. You silently scrolled through Instagram. Your breath hitched at the feel of fingertips gently stroking your calves. Still staring at the phone screen, a wicked little idea popped into your head. You smirked, tapping the add a new post button. Using your free hand, you positioned it atop the head that rested on your pelvis and between your thighs. Not wanting to give him reason to stir, you gently stroked his head, and he relaxed into your touch. The movement of your hand paused long enough to snap the picture. He was none the wiser as he continued to search for something to watch on HBO Max. Eyes still searching the screen, he turned his head slightly and placed a gentle kiss on the inside of your thigh.

“Soft ass thighs.”

A soft moan fell from your lips. You made sure Yahya’s face wasn’t in the shot. Your digits glided across the keyboard, adding a Nicki Minaj lyric as the caption, “My man full, he just ate💦😘.” You tapped the post button and laid your phone on the nightstand.

Yahya had just licked you to tears. No one knew about the two of you. That you started as best friends turned into a sneaky link. The both of you have secretly been trying to figure out what this was morphing into. Unsure of where things were going, you decided to keep things quiet. You both enjoyed teasing the people in your inner circle on IG (they were all extremely nosey). Thus the reason for posting said pic—that it would sometimes get a rise out of the other person was a bonus.

Yahya received a notification that you had posted. Still lying between your legs, he teased, “What thirst trap are you posting now?” He froze, seeing a picture of his current position. He huffed, “You for real?”

Yahya rolled over, still lying on top of your stomach. His hand rained down on your thigh.

“I thought this was supposed to be on the low? You damn near ripped my head off for telling my bro I was over here in the middle of the night. I guess the rules only apply to me,” Yahya grumbled. His face changed from frustration to a sly grin.

“Boy, calm down. Nobody’s going to know that’s you. That’s what makes it so exciting, you teased. “And why do you have that stupid grin on your face?”

“I just noticed the caption, so I’m your man now?”

“Don’t do too much. They’re just lyrics. Relax, my guy.”

“Yeah, right. When are we going to stop playing this game?”

“What game, Yah'?”

“Stop acting like this isn’t more than just a sneaky link now. I’ve been blowing your back out for over four months.”

“And I greatly appreciate it. Why do we have to get into specifics? We have amazing sex. No need to make it more complicated.”

“Are you dating anyone else? I know you better not be fucking anybody other than me, Y/N.”

“I’d hardly call a few dinner dates that haven’t gone past friends, dating. It’s been nothing but innocent, Yah'.”

His jaw ticked at the revelation of you being in the presence of another man’s company.

“For the record, I don’t make a habit of having more than one sexual partner. That’s your thing, not mine.”

“You refuse to let that shit go, huh? I slept with her one time! We had just started whatever this was at the time. I cut her off once I knew this wasn't a one-and-done situation. Who exactly did you go on a date with, sweetheart?”

The question and term of endearment dripped with jealousy. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for more confrontation. There was no doubt in your mind that the answer would upset him.

“Michael. I know you don’t like him. We just went on two dates. Nothing happened, Yah'.”

He pulled into a seated position on the mattress.

“Out of all these thirsty ass dudes that beg for your attention. He had to be the one you said yes to. How many times have I told you that’s a waste of your time? How do I get you to understand that he just wants to knock you down?”

“Is that not what you’re doing with me?“

“Stop that shit. You know how I feel about you. Your ass doesn't want to hear it because you’re scared. We both know this could be so much more.”

“This is stupid. Why are we arguing? We’re not a couple. This is supposed to be easy and chill.”

“There you go deflecting as usual,” he sighed.

“Do you want me to delete the damn picture, Yahya? It’s the reason this conversation even took place.”

“No, no. Leave it up. You know what? You’re right, love. Lay back down. Let’s just enjoy each other’s company.”

Yahya was the least bit worried about your IG post. It was only for close friends, and he wanted them to wonder. Acting angry was just a means to an end. He had a reason to get his lick back. Now, he had an excuse for what he was planning.

Hearing you went on two dates with Michael sent jealousy coursing through his veins. He made a mental note to keep his enemies closer. Seeing that you were focused on the show, he went to Instagram. Yahya went to Michael’s page and added him to his close friends.

He wanted to see how your friends were reacting to your photo. He pulled up your page and skimmed through the comments. Yahya chuckled at your best friend's comment. In bold letters, she said, “Okay, best friend! I see you! No clue who that is, but get that head in your comfortable bed! Yaaasss👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾. I expect full details and a face reveal when we link tomorrow. I’m tired of all this damn anonymity.” Yahya laughed, knowing that you weren’t giving up any information.

Yahya waited two days before he put his plan in motion. He hit your line, inviting you for a movie night at his place. You were sure the night would end on your back with Yahya between your thighs. Anytime the two of you were alone, your hands always seemed to roam. Every time you two gave into temptation, it would go for rounds. Knowing this, you brought an overnight bag. He knew just how to put you to sleep.

Only twenty minutes into the movie, you were already at the edge of the mattress. Yahya placed you on all fours with your box braids wound tightly around his hand. He tugged at them, pulling you into the most perfect of arches. His free hand crept to the top of his nightstand. You were plunged deep into the throes of passion and hadn’t noticed him pick up his phone. The only light in the room came from the television. Pistoning in and out of your tight walls, he managed to open Instagram. Yahya needed it to be pitch black to pull off his scheme.

“Nobody watching this shit for real, baby. Alexa! Turn off the tv in the master bedroom,” he groaned.

The tv shut off as he pulled out and slammed back into your slick heat.

“Ye-yes. Fuck, baby,” you cried, arching your back deeper.

His face lit up at that. He continued giving slow, deep strokes as he recorded you both in the dark.

Yahya made sure this was for close friends only. With confirmation, he laid the phone on the mattress next to the two of you. He proceeded to put in work, going crazy in your walls. Your sweet, soft, and sensual moans were like music to his ears. You were used to Yahya laying some good pipe, but tonight he was on demon time. This man was trying to tear your walls down and ruin you for any other man.

“Feel me deep in your shit, baby?”

You moaned in response.

He thrust so deep that your hands instantly flew to his abdomen. You tried to push back against his stomach, wanting him to take it easy on you. He growled, binding your wrist with his free hand.

“Move your fuckin’ hands,” he half moaned, half growled. His hand let go of your hair and rained down, smacking and grabbing your left cheek. He slapped the right cheek before burying his digits in your braids again. “I thought you could take all of it, baby? That’s what you begged for. Right, love? Hmm? This ain’t what you wanted?”

You whimpered.

A faint “Please, Daddy” escaped your lips.

“What is it, baby? Use your words.”

“I can-ah!”

“Yes, you can, baby. You gon’ be my good girl, and take it,” he whispered, trailing kisses down your back, fully sheathing himself inside you. His length tapped that spot deep within you.

“Y-yes, baby, I’ll take it, g-give me that di-Yes, Yah'!”

Yahya tapped at your spot repetitively, sending you spiraling. You buried your face in the mattress, clawing at the bedding. Your release approached, barreling toward you like a freight train as you attempted to muffle your screams in the sheets.

“Good. Fucking. Girl. Each word was highlighted with another thrust. “Yeah, come just like that, mama.”

Satisfied with himself, Yahya ended the video and posted it to his stories. He hoped none of your closest friends would recognize your voice. There was only one person he needed to figure it out, Michael. Yahya knew you were going to throw a fit, but so long as nobody could see you. He felt he could get you to be cool with it. Leaning against you, he licked, nibbled, and kissed your shoulder. He was still plunged deep inside you and solid as a rock. Yahya’s lips trailed over to your ear. Releasing a deep groan, he rasped, “Hope you got one more in you, love. Daddy needs to come too. He pulled out until it was just the tip. About to respond, he plunged deep inside, forcing you to gasp. Yahya pulled two more orgasms from your body before spilling inside you.

He made quick work of getting a warm cloth to clean you up. You moaned at the sweet actions of his aftercare. Yahya smirked at how easily it was to turn you on. He swaggered into the bathroom and finished cleaning himself up.

Collapsing into bed, he pulled you closer and pressed his lips against yours. Rolling onto your side, you pushed back against him, making yourself the little spoon. Yahya’s hand crept from your thigh and up the side of your body. His large palm found its destination as it gently cupped your breast. His lips left light kisses on your shoulder and neck.

“You’re always trying to cop a feel,” you sassed, sucking your teeth.

“You know this is my emotional support Titty.”

“Shut up, Yah',” you giggled.

Yahya bit his lip and smirked as he tweaked your nipple.

“Uhn-uh! If you’re going to be on my body like this, your ass needs to behave and sit still. I’m exhausted thanks to your big dick bandit ass,” you teased.

“You know you like that shit,” he responded, tugging at your nipple again.

He pressed his semi-hard erection against you. The action caused your breath to hitch.

“Tell me you don’t want me again, and I’ll let you sleep,” he whispered, nibbling your earlobe.

About to reply sarcastically, you lost your train of thought as he dipped his hand between your thighs.

“You were saying something, love?”

“Fuck, you don’t play fair,” you panted.

“Come here, mama. Want you to ride me.”

Sliding down his length, it became clear you wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon.

“Yah', baby,” you whined.

“I know, baby. I know. I’m going to make you feel good. Ride me, mama,” he urged, guiding your hips.

Though he had fallen asleep satiated and peacefully, his morning was the opposite. Yahya jolted out of his sleep as he struggled to breathe. You had covered his face with a pillow while chastising him.

“I just know your big-headed ass didn’t record us fucking and post it to close friends! Please tell me my eyes are deceiving me.”

Yahya's hand tugged at the pillow over his face. He snatched the pillow, throwing it across the room. He overpowered you, flipping you onto your back as he smirked.

“What’s wrong? You don’t want your side hoes to find out about me?”

“The only side hoe I have is you.”

“Naw, sweetheart. I’m your main dude. You’re just too stubborn to admit it.”

“Whatever! You better hope nobody recognizes my voice, freaky ass,” you kissed your teeth.

“Oh, I hope they do,” he smiled. “You’re not even mad, for real. I know that shit lowkey turns you on. Listen to those pretty little moans, mama.”

You did your best to bite back a smile but lost. Yahya licked his lips, giving you a million-dollar smile.

“I know I sound good. You ain’t gotta sweat me or nothin’.”

“I should’ve left the lights on while I recorded that shit. Give them something to really talk about.”

“You want to tell people we fuck so bad,” you teased.

“It’s going to come out sooner or later. I’ma make you mine, shortie. You can continue to run from it but in the end. You’re going to be mine.”

Wanting to avoid such a touchy topic, you switched the subject.

“Boy, shut up and feed me. I’m hungry. What’s for breakfast, best friend?”

Yahya smiled devilishly, “This dick.”

“Nasty ass. I want food, Yah',” you whined.

“That’s a whole ass meal, fuck you mean?”

Eyes rolling and smacking your teeth, he laughed.

“I forgot how cranky you can be in the mornings. Let’s get the baby’s tummy full. What do you want to eat, baby girl,” he responded in his best baby voice.

“Can you make french toast and bacon? You make it better than I do,” you asked in a cute tone.

“You know I can’t say no to that voice and face. Come on, spoiled brat,” he teased as he slapped your thigh.

Yahya scooped you from the bed, dangling your body over his shoulder. His hand grabbed a handful of your behind, giving it a loud smack.

“Ouch, Yah'! That hurt,” you whined.

“I didn’t mean to smack it that hard. My bad,” he smirked, rubbing the pain away.

“Lying ass.”

Carting you off to the kitchen, he got you fed and full. Neither of you had anything planned. The two of you spent the remainder of your Sunday binging television and ordering takeout.

When the time came for you to head out, Yahya felt his chest tighten. He was sad to see you leave. If only you two could figure out where to go from here. He’d have you sleeping in his bed every night. Little did you know, your best friend’s feelings for you had existed as long as the friendship had. He just never knew how to tell you. The chemistry and attraction lingered between the two of you. That is, until one drunken night, he did something about it. He fell back on his couch, missing you already, as his mind drifted back to that night.

You were spiraling down a black hole of heartbreak. Yahya came running to offer support and a listening ear to vent to.

His fist balled up, jaw flexing as his memory replayed the image of you opening the door.

Your eyes were bloodshot and glassy as you did your best to keep from crying again. Yahya’s heart sank seeing how distraught you were. He stepped closer to you, and in a low baritone, he said, “Hey, mama.” The sympathy in his soothing voice sent a fresh trail of tears rolling down your cheeks. He sighed as his arms snaked around your waist, pulling you as close as possible. Yahya’s chin rested on your head as you curled into his chest, body trembling as the tears flowed. “You’re going to be straight, mama. I promise I got you,” he soothed, rubbing his hands up and down your back. He gave you a minute or two to let it all out. Releasing you, he bent back, using the pads of his thumbs to wipe your tears. Yahya leaned forward, sweeping you up bridal style. “Let’s get you comfy on the couch. I’ll fix us some drinks and snacks. Then you can tell me everything, alright?” Giving him a faint nod, Yahya kicked the door closed. He made quick work of getting you situated on the couch. Yahya wrapped you in your comfort blanket. Gently kissing your forehead, he whispered, “Be right back, love.”

He called from the kitchen, “Are you in the mood for something light or heavy?”

“This calls for the hard shit. Bring the tequila. I don’t even need a damn chaser. Give me something that will make me forget the last twenty-four hours.”

Yahya strode back into the living room, alcohol in hand.

“What are you about to tell me, love?”

“Maybe you should take a couple of shots first.”

Yahya set the shot glasses and bottle on the coffee table. His hand ran down his face as he took a deep breath, “Am I going to have to beat his ass?”

You sat up straight, dropping the blanket around your waist. Pouring two shots, you answered, “Just promise me you won’t lose your temper.”

“No.”

“Yah', please,” you begged, voice trembling.

“The desperation in your voice tells me that I’m going to regret this, but fine, I promise not to lose my temper. What happened?”

“Drink first.”

Shots were thrown back, and you grimaced, pouring out two more. After the second, you started to pour another round, but Yahya’s hand gently grasped your wrist, “No-.”

A small whimper fell from your lips as his eyes grew. Yahya’s eyes darted from your weary ones down to your wrist. His hands were like lightning as he slid your sleeve up a bit.

“No, fuck that, mama! Is this a bruise?”

“You promised, Yah'.”

“Promises are meant to be broken. Where the fuck is his punk ass at?”

He sprang from the couch, searching his pockets for his keys.

“Where’s he at?”

“No, please, Yahya. You promised! I handled it.”

“Why are you protecting his bitch ass? Has he been putting his hands on you this whole time?”

“I’m not protecting him. I know he’ll press charges against you. It’s not worth it. This is the only time it’s happened, honestly!”

“Don’t lie for him. Tell. Me. Where. He. Is.”

“I’m not lying, Yah'. This is the first time. I handled it, I swear. You should see the side of his face. I smacked the shit out of him.”

“Did he hit you anywhere else,” he asked, checking your face and body for more bruises.

“No, I’m telling you the truth. We were arguing about him getting caught up in his lies and cheating. I told him I was done and that he needed to get the hell out of my house. This dude had the nerve to snatch my wrist, demanding I hear him out. I told him he was hurting me. His response was he didn’t give a fuck. That pissed me off, so I slapped him. He charged at me, and I kicked him in the nuts. How do you cheat on me with a bitch I called a friend and have the nerve to be mad that I no longer wish to be with you? The audacity!”

“I pray he tries to show up while I’m here.”

“He won’t. It’s over, and he understands that now.”

Yahya looked at you, not quite believing it.

“I told his ass if he tried contacting or coming near me again that you’d beat his ass. That or he was going to have a chat with Nina.”

“Thought you didn’t want me to put hands on him. You swear your ass is tough with that baby Glock. Who the fuck puts hot pink on the butt of their gun,” he retorted.

“I don’t want you to, smart-ass, but he knows you would. It was only said to get my point across that I was done with him. Not too much on my baby, Nina.”

Yahya sighed, frustrated that he’d have to keep his promise. He reclaimed his spot on the couch, crossing his arms irritated. You kissed your teeth, “I know you're not mad at me for keeping you out of trouble?”

“It’s whatever. He needs his ass beat, though,” he sulked.

“Just leave it alone, Yah'.”

“I heard you the first time.”

The room grew quiet. It stayed that way for a little while. That was until he heard you sniffling.

“I’m not mad at you, love. I just really want to rock his shit.”

“I know you’re not mad at me. It’s just.”

“What is it, mama?”

“Am I not good enough? Dudes do me dirty, and people I call friends turn out to be grimy. You’re the only person who has always been down for me. I’m so thankful for your years of loyalty and friendship,” you rambled, tears sliding down your face.

Yahya pushed his anger aside, taking a deep breath. His hands reached for your arm, pulling you into him. His palm cradled your head, guiding you to lie against his chest. He kissed your temple, speaking words of encouragement.

“That’s just god's way of making room for the real ones to come into your life, mama. You’re going to be alright, love. You’ll shake back from this. You’re strong, girl. The right man is out there. He’ll love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

As he held you, speaking enlightenment into you. Something shifted inside you. Not quite sure what the feeling was, you shook it off.

“More tequila,” you offered.

The pair of you went shot for shot. It only took a short time for you both to get drunk off your asses. In a drunken stupor, you both laughed as you recounted the numerous times you had to fake a climax with your ex. Yahya was in tears, holding his stomach, laughing uncontrollably.

“This man had to be talked through eating the box. Every. Single. Time. At what point do you finally get the gist of eating pussy? I can’t believe I stayed as long as I did.”

“Why did you stay?”

“The dick was big.”

A hand flew to your mouth, covering your lips, shocked at what you had just revealed.

“Sorry. That was probably too much information. I need to stop drinking,” you slurred, no longer able to look him in the eyes.

Yahya cupped your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“Not too much. That’s some pretty useful information,” he rasped.

Your breath hitched as you looked into his chocolate orbs.

“I don’t follow.”

“That’s what you like, mama?”

Yahya’s hand trailed to your neck. His fingers circled your throat, giving a light squeeze. You knew you should pull away, but your mind and body said two different things.

“Yahya,” you whispered.

“Answer me, mama. That’s what you like?”

You moaned, nodding your head yes. Yahya licked his lips at your response.

“I want to hear you say it, love. Tell me what you like. I want to make sure you understand what I’m trying to say,” he groaned.

The liquor urged you to take it further. You leaned closer, his hand still squeezing your throat. Lips only inches apart, Yahya watched in awe as you answered, breath tickling his lips.

“I love a big, long, thick di-.”

Before you could finish the sentence, Yahya groaned and devoured your lips. Not giving it a second thought, he slid you on top of his lap as your tongues battled for dominance. Hand still placed around your neck, you ground against his lap, loving the groan he released.

“I can see why that was useful information now,” you purred.

It was evident, even inside his jeans, you could feel that he was massively large. You pulled back, slipping your shirt off, dropping it to the floor. His eyes sparkled at the sight of your breast as he cupped them, kissing and suckling your neck.

“Are you sure this is what you want, mama?”

“Yes, I want you, Yah'. Fuck the pain away, please.”

Kissing your lips again, he held you close as he raised from the sofa. Arms wrapped around his neck. You tasted each other's lips as Yahya carried you to the bedroom. The following morning wasn’t even awkward. That’s probably because you woke up with Yahya’s head between your thighs. A serious discussion occurred over breakfast. Though you both decided it probably shouldn’t happen again, time would reveal that it was too late to turn back.

I know I left it on yet another cliffhanger, but that's my specialty😆. I got my lovelies, though. The fic is complete, so slide on over to part two. Before you go, leave a comment and tap the love button. Reblogs are greatly appreciated🫶🏾!

Gif Credit: @abdulmateens, thanks again for allowing me to use it for my mood board💗.

Divider Credit: @firefly-graphics.

Tagging a few lovelies:

@sheabuttahwrites , @moebuttta , @darqchilddaydreamz

@alertyoulikeitsamber , @astoldbychae , @miyuhpapayuh

@sunshine-flower , @nightlywords7 , @4everbrookemarie

@delta7of96 , @novaniskye , @1andonlytashae

@shaolyninferno , @mcdesij , @willadean

@partygetsmewetter-x , @blackerthings , @peachbuttetfly

@theraieinfluence , @honestpreference , @queeniekiy

@tashawar , @skyesthebomb , @captainwithoutmakingitlove

#berberriescorner #nobody's gonna know #part one #daddy yahya #yahya abdul mateen ii #yahya abdul mateen ii fanfiction #yahya abdul mateen ii x black!reader #yahya abdul mateen ii x reader #black writer #black fanfic writer #black fanfiction #yahya fanfiction #yahya fic #yahya abdul-mateen ii fanfic #yahya abdul-mateen ii fanfiction #spotify

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lias-writings · 11 months

Text

Be my MJ??

pairing: spider-man!bella x reader

tw: kissing, mentions of food, fluff, established relationship, flirting (?)

a/n: hey!! so few days ago bella reposted the photo of them like a spider man ^ and i had this idea, there are few changes, like bella’s taller than reader, they are not famous obviously, and they are still british, but live in queens, so does reader but reader’s ethnicity isn’t mentioned.

also!! this is an au! you can imagine it as one of the spider-verse if you wish to (that’s how im imagining it) but it’s up to you <33

summary: you found out your partner is the spider-man everyone is interested about and not just a regular teenager as you thought.

you always thought that you had a pretty average life, and you did. you were going to local high school/college, you went to house parties with your friends and you had a partner, who you loved and who loved you.

and there you were laying on your bed scrolling thru your instagram looking at all the posts updating about the local superhero spider-man.

no one really knew who it was, no one knew if it was even a man but no one would guess it a teenager from queens.

as i mentioned before, you were doing basically nothing when you heard a knock on your window.

you almost jumped from your bed in shock but when you looked to the window’s direction, outside you saw nothing but dark night and noisy New York City.

you would go back to your previous action if you didn’t heard that sound again. this time you were sure it wasn’t just in you head so you grabbed the nearest thing- a hair brush, and put it in front of your face in a protective way.

you expect anything, a confused bird, witch on a broomstick, kidnapper or even a fucking alien but not this. not the superhero in a red costume, named after an animal you feared the most.

THE spider-man was outside of your window. at that moment you thought nothing could surprise you more, but hell you were so wrong.

the person just pulled their mask down, and at that moment your heart stopped. it’s not a middle aged man, it’s not another rich dude who became a superhero, it’s your partner bella.

you were staring at the window for good minute while bella was waving at you and signalising that they want you to open the window.

when you kind of pulled yourself together you slowly opened the window, still taken away a bit.

“hi.” they said with a little apologising smile.

“hi.”

“i-i can explain, all of this”

“i’m listening” you weren’t as confused as you were moments ago, now you felt more angry because they’ve been lying to you.

“okay, so- i kind of was bit by a spider- radioactive spider and since then i can do this” they started explaining and then shot a web right from there wrist at the direction of your door - “and this” they continued as they sticked their hand to the ceiling and crawled around a little.

“how long have you been this spider-person?” you asked knowing that spider-“man” has been around for few moths at least, but you wanted to hear it, you wanted to know why they didn’t trusted to enough to tell you sooner.

“a year” they almost whispered with a guilty face.

“a year?!” you almost screamed but luckily realised, that your parents are downstairs, soon enough.

“i’m sorry i didn’t tell you, i know i should have, but-”

“but what? am i not trustworthy?” you cut them before they could finish their sentence.

“no! of you course you are, i-“ and as they were speaking they slowly walked closer to you.

“if you knew, it would put a target on your back, which is the last thing i want, i love you and i’d never forgive myself if anything happened to you.” now your waist were completely hugged by two arms of theirs and they were resting their forehead on yours.

“even now it’s dangerous for you to know but i’m gonna do everything i can to protect you.” they finished as they gently kissed your lips, while stroking your waist.

the kiss made you completely forget what were you mad about so you dived more into it.

moments after you both pulled away in the need of oxygen but still kept your faces close.

“so you’re a spider-man, huh?”

“yeah, most girls would kill to be at your place” they smirked.

you let out a sarcastic gasp and pulled out of the ‘hug’, so you could touch the place where your heart is.

“oh really? just so you know i’m still mad at you for lying to me.” you made a fake insulted face at them as they chuckled.

“guess you don’t want this then.” they said as they leaned out of the window to grab a plastic bag that was there the whole time. you leaned your body closer to them in a curiosity and your eyes brightened when they pulled out your favorite food/sweets.

“so this is the biggest advantage to date spider-man?”

“no you haven’t seen the best yet.” they winked at you as they handed you the meal.

#bella ramsey x reader #im so nervous to post this omg😭#bella ramsey #bella ramsey fanfic #bella ramsey fluff #happy pride 🌈#spider man #lia writes 🌷🛍️

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c0ffinshit · 2 years

Text

Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome (The Grabber x Reader)

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

A/N: hello all! i really liked how this turned out so if this does well, i’ll make this a series!

I DON’T CONDONE (Y/N)’S ACTIONS, THIS STORY IS FICTION AND SHOULD REMAIN FICTION, PLEASE DON’T DO ANYTHING IN THIS STORY IN REAL LIFE.

word count: 907

warnings: yandere-ish, stalking, (y/n) is a cop hater (as she should), a bit of bribery, mentions of past kidnappings, paparazzi by lady gaga core, albert just needs a break (he has been thru ENOUGH)

Hybristophilia (also known as Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome) a form of paraphilia (abnormal sexual desire) involving sexual attraction to people who have committed some sort of "outrage.”

You’ve been obsessed with Albert Shaw since you saw his police sketch in the newspaper. Your life stopped being yours and started being his at that moment. Anytime he kidnapped another child, you would cut out the article and pictures and tape them above your bed. You figured out who he was long before the cops could even guess. Your job was to protect him and throw off the pigs the best you could. It went as far as you getting a van that looked like his to drive around it. Every dollar and coin you got from my job would go into a jar, saving up so you could move into the house next to his. Every Saturday, you would deliver him letters that you would write yourself. And the minute you got home, you would wait patiently for a reply that would never come. Maybe he didn’t have any family members or fans that wrote him letters. Either way, you wrote to him any chance you got. When you wanted to see him, cute dates you two could go on, among…other things. You never got as far as that. As much as you wanted to cut off your hair and glue it to a sheet of paper. He’s the man of your dream; you didn’t want to scare him too bad.

You went out one night; you can’t remember when. All you can remember was he finally got caught. At first, it was a surprise when you heard the news. Your jaw dropped when you looked at the TV and saw his face all beaten and bruised. The friend who was with you didn’t know of your…obsession, for lack of a better word. So when you started crying, she was confused and tried her best to comfort you. You tried to explain through your sobbing, but she only shushed you and told you, ‘everything was okay.’ But it was the light of your life that was in jail and away from you, something you couldn’t bear. You had to see him; You didn’t care what I had to do.

You waited until you got home the next day to call the police department to see if he was taking visitors. They said no. That he wasn’t taking visitors and probably never will since he doesn’t have any family that’s alive. Your heart broke, he couldn’t see you, and you wouldn’t get any updates on where he might be or what he might be doing. Lying was the only reasonable option in this case. The following day, you woke up early and put on your nicest-looking clothes. Making sure to cover your face just enough so no one would recognize you. And you walked about five miles to the police department, where Albert was being held.

He will be so thankful to see me.

The big dark building stood tall, almost threatening. But you weren’t afraid of some men in a blue uniform. As you entered, the sound of shoes hitting the linoleum floor filled the silent room.

“Hello, officer, I’m here to see Albert Shaw,” you said, trying to barely higher a voice than your own.

“Family only, lady,” the officer had a harsh tone, like a knife.

“Oh, but I am,” you slid the cop forty dollars, “I should be on the list,”

His eyes spark, and he takes the money.

Oink Oink, you thought as he escorted you to a chair with a phone.

Now the only thing between Albert and you is glass. His face is barely visible when you finally spot him turning the corner. He looked so bruised and bloody, but his cuts were clean and healing, for the most part. Albert finally sat down and picked up the phone.

“What?” he asked, his voice sour and gravelly. Finally, his voice.

Your face lit up, and you took off your disguise, “Al, honey, It’s me,”

He looks up and groans, “Christ, (Y/N), can’t you leave me alone?”

You looked at him, your confusion running clear, “What?”

“Can’t you take a hint? Why don’t I respond to your psycho-sexual letters? I’ve through enough in the past twenty-four hours,” he puts the phone down and places his hands on his face.

You were so confused. Didn’t Albert love you?

“But Al, we are meant to be together–”

He picks up the phone again, “BUT THERE IS NO US! There has never been this ‘soulmate’ bullshit you constantly talk about in your letters. You hardly know me!”

You put the phone down, fighting back the tears. With your hand against the glass, you hoped Al’s hand would follow yours and apologize.

“Give it up (Y/N). I can’t give you what you want–”

You let your hand fall back to your side. You gingerly pick up the phone again, “Yes, you can, I know you can. I’ve seen and followed everything you’ve done. You’re a sweet guy; just give me a second chance,”

Albert places his hand in the same place your hand once was.

He lets out another heavy sigh, “If, and only if, I get out, I’ll give you that second chance,”

You wipe my eyes at the happy news, “Oh heavens, thank you, Albert, I’m so grateful–”

“But we do it on my terms, alright?”

You nod your head vigorously, “God, yes, thousand times yes!”

He gently smiles, “Now, tell me about yourself. Not what you want to do to me, tell me things about you,”

#The Grabber #the black phone #the grabber x reader #ethan hawke #ethan hawke x reader

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puffpasstea · 1 year

Note

hiii I love all your writing! it really makes me feel some type of way 💖🥲 I was wondering if you would be willing to write something about y/n feeling like her friends are using her (to get to harry, $$$, or for clout) and Harry is comforting y/n. Or something like y/n feels left out at a Hollywood party with all of Harry’s friends?

im going thru a rough time with my friendships and kind of feeling lonely. no pressure though 💖 thank you for being a source of joy during this time 🥺🫶🏻

Hi babes! Thanks so much for your lovely message 🥰🥰 and I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I’ve been where you are. It hurts no matter how you try to rationalize it. Please know that my inbox is always open if you need a friend, or just to vent. I hope this little one shot helps somehow. Let me know what you think! 💗

—

She plumped down on the barstool, tucked away in the shadowy corner of the room, letting her feet dangle and hover over the floor. Those heels were killing her. She glanced across the room, scanning the crowd of faces for Harry’s comforting eyes. He was standing in between Jeff and some really old guy in a suit, the grin on his face slowly growing until his dimples appeared. At this distance, she had no idea what he was actually saying, but she liked to imagine that he was telling a joke, judging by his face, that’s usually what he looks like when he’s laughing at his own joke before he’s even reached the punchline. She was glad to see that he was at least having fun. Because she’d be lying if she said that these kinds of events felt fun for her.

Tagging along to these parties increased her sad and admiration for Harry. It always made her proud to see him in “work mode.” This wasn’t even what he normally does for a living. Giant parties like these were usually hosted by the record label, designed to make really rich, really old people feels important enough and respected enough to convince them to invest their buckets of money into musicians’ tours. Someone needed to pay the insurance companies, purchase the bands’ equipment, pay the crew, and fund the millions of things -big and small- that went into carrying out an entire tour. Learning this gave her a better understanding of why, to make it in an industry like this, you need more than just a pretty voice and a little bit of hard work. But as proud as she was of Harry, she couldn’t help but feel like an outsider in moments like this.

Harry always wanted her to feel included, so he would keep his arm hooked into hers, introduce her to his team and investors, and whisper any background information into her ear to catch her up to speed. She loved witnessing first-hand how he was good at remembering a CEO’s 4-year-old daughter’s favorite cartoon, or how he complimented an ancient rich lady on her brooch. She found his ability to make everyone feel important to him weirdly attractive. But, when Harry and his friends would so quickly fall in and out of industry talk, making inside jokes or using technically lingo, she often found herself feeling weird. Like she was an anchor weighing him down. His constant need to keep an arm around her waist, or to explain a joke to her, or rephrase something in a way that she would understand, it made her wonder if he wouldn’t be more present in the moment if she wasn’t trailing behind him, so she found a quiet place to sit and admire him from a distance, hoping he’d be too engrossed in his friends’ conversations to notice her absence.

She pulled out her phone to check the time. It was almost midnight. She could pass the time by scrolling through her phone, but it would honestly just make her more miserable. Scrolling through Instagram posts of people that felt so far away would just hurt.

Perhaps this whole thing wouldn’t be on her mind if things in her own friendship were different. The truth was that some of her most important relationships have felt nonexistent lately. Which made her more conscious of how she related to people. Often even wondering if she had some invisible flaw that she’s failing to see, or if she was too stubborn to realize that she was unintentionally pushing people away. It felt like her relationship with Harry had altered the way that people saw her. Friends that she had had for quite sometime, and honestly thought would hold on to forever, were now gone without a real explanation. It was like they’d decided on her behalf that she no longer needed them. They began acting different around her, gradually growing colder and more indifferent. It was difficult to come to the realization that, if they would treat her this way, maybe they weren’t really friends in the first place. Maybe they only liked having her around to make them feel better about themselves and seeing her happy, successful, and in a relationship with someone like Harry was doing the exact opposite of making them feel good. So, they no longer had any use for her.

She felt a lump form in her throat. At least ending friendships in this way was better than the opposite. The people who’d never actually liked her, never treated her with any respect at all, and never bothered to hide their feelings about her suddenly “reconnecting” with her because they found out who her boyfriend is. How did things get so fucked up and why hadn’t she noticed until it was too late?

“There you are!” The feeling of Harry’s soft lips kissing her cheek yanked her out of her spiral. “How’re you, darlin’?” He smiled, grabbing the stool next to her and ordering a drink. He still had a smile on his face and seemed to be giggling to himself.

The look he was giving her forced her to smile back. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, it’s- it’s nothing Mitch was just telling a funny story over there.” Harry chuckled at the memory of the encounter. “Anyway, where’d you run off to? I looked behind me and you’d vanished.”

She waited for a moment, considering just telling him the truth but she didn’t want to burden him. He was clearly having a good time. And he’d earned it. He’d been working so hard lately; a night out with his favorite people is what he needs. Besides, she liked that Harry felt comfortable enough to introduce her to his friends and bring her to industry events. She didn’t want to make him feel bad about it.

“N-nowhere, I- my heels are just too much. Probably should’ve worn a different shoe tonight.”

Harry’s brows furrowed. “Oh, I’m so sorry, baby. Wanna go home?”

“Oh- no, no. Don’t worry about me. I’m good just staying right here. You go, have fun.”

Harry wasn’t having it. She should’ve expected it. He wasn’t the kind of person to just abandon her after she’d admitted to being in pain. Instead of going back out there, he brought the party over to her. Within minutes, Mitch, Sarah, Pauli, some assistants from the wardrobe department and a few drum techs were gathered around her previously private corner. They’d ordered some appetizers and sat around telling stories from past tours, making plans to visit the landmarks and hidden gems of certain cities they were touring, and recalling the time someone had intentionally re-tuned Mitch’s guitar and fucked up his string-matching.

For the whole night, Harry’s hands were on her thigh, glancing at her in between conversations and casually kissing the top of her head. She felt selfish for not having fun. After all he does for her, and after he’s forced everyone to hang out at the bar so she can be included. She still felt like an outsider looking in. What the hell was wrong with her?

The ride home was quiet. Harry asked her if she wanted to take her shoes off and stretch her legs but she’d just hummed a quiet “no,” looking out the window of the passengers seat to avoid his eyes.

She stood in the bathroom, getting ready for bed and trying to shake the feeling of intense isolation that had clung to her. She wished she could wipe it off the way she’d just wiped off her makeup. Maybe if she just went to bed and started fresh tomorrow?

Harry called her name “come over here and give me a cuddle alreadyyyy.”

She made her way to the bed where he’d been plopped, reading a book as he waited for her. The goofy smile on his face disappeared as soon as he saw her. “What’s the matter, baby?”

“N-nothing.” Her voice betrayed her, already breaking. It’s just that the softness of Harry’s voice and the concern in his eyes threw her off. The tears that she’d been pushing away all night were now stinging the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill over.

“Not nothing.” Harry asserted, reaching for the side of her hip and gesturing for her to come closer.

“It’s dumb. Please just forget it, Harry.” She pressed her palms to her eyes, wiping the tears away.

“It’s not dumb if it’s got you this upset, honey.”

“I- I just wish-“

Harry said nothing, his eyebrows shoot upward.

“I wish I wasn’t so lonely all the time.”

Harry felt his heart split in half at her words and the simplicity with which she’d said them. He wondered how long she’d felt this way. If the feeling just rolled off her tongue like that, it had to have been sitting in the pit of her stomach for a while.

“Lonely?” Was all he could say.

She just nodded, tears now unashamedly rolling down her face.

Harry was now replaying all the conversations that he’d had in the past few weeks where she seemed to jokingly suggest that she was fundamentally in likable, or that she was too rough around the edges for friends to want her around, or that she hated people so much that she hardly left the apartment anymore. How could he have been so blind? He knew her well enough to know that when she made self-deprecating jokes like this, it was usually because she believed them to be, at least partly, true.

“W-why?” He cleared his throat, hoping to sound more like an adult. “What’s made you feel so alone?”

She shrugged, finally pulling her hands away from her face and shifting nervously on top of the duvet. “Just don’t have any friends anymore, Harry.”

“What do you mean? You’ve got plenty of friends!”

“Name one.”

Harry wracked his brain. “Well there’s Je- okay, fine? What about Sa-“ he was stumped. Every name that came to his mind was a friend of his that had, by extension, gotten to know her through their relationship.

She could see the wheels turning in his head. “Exactly.” She huffed.

“Well, what about people at work? That nice lady, Melanie? You seem to get on really well. And, besides, you can share my friends!”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not like I don’t know people. But those superficial relationships only make me feel worse. They just remind me of the connections that I’ve lost. I don’t- Harry, I don’t wanna have perfectly mundane conversations about the weather, or what I did over the weekend. That’s not what I mean. I just- I miss the kind of connection where you could text someone your random and extremely niche take on a specific topic that only you care about. Or call someone cuz you’re bored and want company. Or make spur of the moment plans. Or vent to without worrying if they’re secretly judging you for talking too much. You know? The kinds of things that you can just build overnight.”

“Intimacy.” He said simply.

“Yeah…”

Harry said nothing. He pulled her into his side, letting her lay her head on his shoulder and blink her tears away as he squeezed her shoulder.

“I’ll be your friend!” He said suddenly breaking the heavy silence.

She laughed, the chuckled disrupting her sobs. “Thanks, but, I think I like what we are.”

“No, I mean, like, sometimes you date someone but you can’t really talk to them about stuff. You know? I’m saying you can talk to me.”

“I just- I don’t know why it’s so hard for me.”

“Baby, it’s not your fau-“

“Don’t! Don’t say it, okay?”

“But you know it’s true.”

“It makes me feel like a bad person to just say that they’re dumb for not wanting to stay friends. Somehow I’m the perfect Angel and everyone else is wrong for leaving me.”

Harry said nothing for a moment. He could tell she firmly believed that and convincing her wasn’t going to be simple. Plus, he didn’t want to interrupt her as she finally let things off her chest. After he was sure she was done speaking, he started again.

“I’m not saying you’re perfect. Nobody is. We all have our flaws. But people who really care about you wouldn’t give up on you when things get difficult. Friendships only work if both people are invested.”

“What if- What if I’m just not good at this? What if people leave me because I’m not a good friend?”

“Bullshit.”

“Harry! I’m serious.”

“So am I! You care, and you’re so kind. And you’re fun and gracious and-“

“Then why am I so alone??”

Harry kissed the side of her head gently.

“I get what you mean.”

“No you don’t. You’re surrounded by people who love you all day everyday.”

“Yeah, but that hasn’t always been the case. I felt really lost and alone for years before all this happened. You know? After the band and all?”

“Hmm”

“It was hard.”

She just nodded silently listening to, taking his words in, letting the sound of his voice comfort her.

“Just can’t change who you are to make people want to stick around. You’ll lose sight of what matters to you. Even though it hurts to let people go.”

“It does.”

“I know baby.” He nuzzled his nose into her neck. “But you’ll meet the right friends eventually. Ones who won’t take advantage, won’t be threatened by your light and love.”

“I hope I do. This is exhausting.”

“Let me help. Hmm?”

She finally turned to face him, locking her lips into his, causing him to hum into her mouth.

“You always do, Harry. Everyday.”

#harry styles one shot #harry styles #ask #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles x y/n

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faxxistheword · 2 years

Text

Lovers Lake

Eddie x (fem)reader

Warnings: S M U T, degrading kink, slapping, hair pulling, besties with extra benefits (that’s pretty much it)

Summery: your best friend Eddie and you decided to go to lovers lake for just a swim but turns out to you both fucking after that you both make a some what big decision. Hopefully it not destroyingyour friend ship.

A/N: this was my first time actually finishing a smut story so I’m sorry if it’s bad.

WC: 2k

“Hey y/n you wanna go to ‘lovers lake’ whore?” Eddie says yelling making people look at him with weird looks.

“I sure do you slut.” You say back laughing as Eddie comes over to you and leans on the locker next to yours.

Eddie nods and just looks at you.

“You okay?” You ask laughing and shutting your locker.

“I’m just so done with today. I couldn’t imagine it only being Wednesday.”

“Oh well too bad because you are dreaming and it is Wednesday.”

Eddie scoffs, and you, too, start to walk outside as someone tells Eddie to fuck off and get off his locker, making the both of you laugh.

“Okay, well, I’ll pick you up at 9?” Eddie asks, walking to his van.

“Maybe you will.” You are say when you turn around and walk toward your house.

Eddie yells something to you, but you pay no mind to it as you are too far to find out what he said.

When you get home, you decide to go thru your bathing suits deciding whether or not to pick a one-piece or a two-piece.

After deciding on a one-piece or two-piece, you go with the two-piece because why the hell not? Plus, it’ll only be you too.

You take off your school clothes and put on your bathing suit and put a dress on so that it’ll be easy to take off and put back on.

You are nervous to ask your mother to go over because you can’t tell her that you’ll be going to ‘lovers lake’ with a boy. It wasn’t your first time lying to her, but it was your first time lying to hang out with Eddie somewhere other than his trailer.

You walk out knowing it is now or never, and you see her sitting down watching the news.

“Hey, mom, is it alright if I go to Lauren’s house tonight?”

That wasn’t too hard, you think to yourself.

“Yes, that’s fine. Are you going to be back tonight?”

“Tomorrow. If that’s okay.”

“Of course, it’s okay. I won’t be able to call and check up on you tonight, though. I hope that’s okay.” Your mom says, making this the best news you have ever heard.

“Oh yeah, that’s okay. We are probably going to watch movies and eat food anyway.”

Your mom nods her head “when will you be going?”

“I’ll be walking to meet up with her at eight-thirty.”

“Okay, be safe.” Your mom says and turns her attention back to the television

Your mom isn’t that strict. She has rules, and you try not to break them so often, but when you do, it’s only a little one like now.

Once it hits eight-thirty, you say goodnight and I love you to your mom and get your bag that way, it doesn’t seem suspicious.

You wait about 20ish minutes when you finally see headlights in your driveway.

“Jesus, you couldn’t take any longer.” You say to Eddie when he parks and gets out.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t say I’d pick you up at 9.” Eddie says, laughing. “Now get in loser. I wanna go!”

You roll your eyes even tho Eddie can’t see and get into his van.

“So, what did you do when you got home?” Eddie asks when he’s been driving for about 10 minutes or so.

“Went thru my bathing suits, got dressed, and then talked to my mom.” I laugh at how boring I must sound.

“What bathing suit did you pick out?”

“None of your business.” You say back, making Eddie take his eyes off the road for a second.

“I guess I’ll see when we get to ‘Lovers Lake’ then.” He says, making you shrug and taking his attention back to the road.

“Maybe.”

The rest of the car ride is silent, but not a sinister silence.

Eddie parks his van, and you didn’t realize that you guys made it already.

Eddie just made things go by so fast, and you had no idea why but it was a good thing.

“Are you going to get out? Or stay in my van all day, loser?” Eddie asks, standing by his open door.

“I think I will stay in your van while you have all the fun.” You say, laughing while getting out.

Eddie laughs and rounds his van standing next to you, and you both start to walk to the lake. Once you both get to the lake grounds, you begin to take your clothes off and shoes.

Once you take your dress off, you see Eddie staring at you, and you feel your face heat up.

“What are you looking at?” You ask, a little shy now.

“It’s just your bathing suit... it’s Metallica, and Iron Maiden, my two favorite bands, and their albums are on your bottoms. It’s just so fucking awesome.”

You start to blush because you know Eddie loved these bands. You wanted his attention, but not in just a friendly way attention. You don’t know why but you just wanted him to look at you, and it seemed to work.

You smiled at Eddie, knowing damn well that you wore this two-piece because you knew he loved these bands.

When Eddie took off his shirt, you couldn’t help but look at him. He was just so handsome and fuck.. you didn’t want to think about your best friend that way, but you couldn’t help it when he looked like a god.

“When you finish staring, we can start walking,” Eddie says, catching you red-handed and making your face beat red.

You and Eddie walk together into the water, making you stop as it’s freezing, making Eddie walk farther into the water by himself.

“What, are you cold or something?” Eddie says, teasing you when you don’t walk further with him.

You flip Eddie off, walking further in so he would stop teasing you. “Better asshole?”

Eddie walks over to you, smiling. “Do you want me to carry you? It’ll be easier in a way.” Eddie says Mockingly.

You shake your head, yes, and Eddie lifts you out of the water, making you wrap your legs around his waist just above his dick.

“No, no, wait, it’s too cold.” You protest, putting your face into his neck, trying to warm up from his body heat, but Eddie keeps walking anyway, making you feel defeated because anything you say or do, he’s not going to listen.

“Okay, I’ll set you down in a second. We’re almost there.” Eddie says, looking at you.

You don’t say anything but nod your head because it’s too freezing to say anything. Eddie finally stops walking and lets you down, making you yelp at how cold the water is and with no warning.

“Jesus, it’s cold, but it’s worth it.” You say, looking in awe at the moon reflecting off of the water.

“It is.”

You and Eddie look at each other, and both laugh at how awkward it has gotten.

When you look away, you hear a splash in the water, making your head whip to the noise.

“Holy shit, that was nice,” Eddie says, coming back from the water and laughing at how scared you looked.

“I bet-” before you could finish, Eddie starts to splash you and laughs hysterically at how you flinch.

“Stop it, Eddie.” You say pretending to be mad, but you weren’t angry. You loved the way Eddie teased you.

When Eddie wasn’t paying attention, you started to splash him as if it was only fair. Eddie looks at you, and you both start to splash each other, laughing like you never have before, making the night unforgettable.

You and Eddie stop splashing each other to regain your breath, and you start to swim closer to Eddie and stop in front of him.

“What do you want?” Eddie asks, making your roll your eyes.

“What, I can’t stand in front of you anymore? Fine then.” You say, turning around, but Eddie grabs your wrist and pulls you against him.

“I didn’t say that, did I?” He ask in your ear, making you shiver.

“You didn’t..” you whisper.

Eddie lets go of your wrist and slide his hand down to your hip bone, making you whimper. You melt into Eddie’s body, even more when he begins to slide his hand up to your chest and slowly plays with your boob making you moan.

“Mm fuck Eddie.” Your body reacts, and you start to grind on his dick, making him groan.

“C’mer,” Eddie says, turning you around and picking you up.

Eddie wraps his arms around you and holds you up, looking into your eyes. “Is this okay?” Eddie ask.

“It’s more than okay.” You say, kissing down his neck and making him moan.

Eddie takes one of his arms away from you, making you grip onto him harder with your legs making him chuckle. Eddie reaches your bottoms and pulls them down the best he can without putting you down.

“Fuck I might have to put you down,” Eddie says, making you moan in protest.

You nod anyway, and Eddie sets you down and takes your bottoms and top off; Eddie takes off his bottoms also and picks you back up when you both are good.

When you both are situated, Eddie picks you back up, making sure to touch your pussy on his dick, making you moan.

“Oh fuck.. I’m going to put my dick inside you, okay?”

You are a little nervous, it’s not your first time, but it’s your first time with him.

Your best friend since second grade. The man you had always liked but didn’t know how to tell him. And now you two are about to have sex in lovers' lake.

“Fuck me like a whore Eddie Munson.”

Eddie growls and sits you on his dick without warning, making you moan loudly.

“Oh fuuck, Eddie.” You moan loudly.

“Feels good?” He asks, making you bounce harder.

You can’t speak with all the pleasure going thru your whole body, so you nod, making Eddie slap your face lightly but enough for you to moan.

“Words. I need fucking words.” He says, gripping your cheeks.

“I-it feels so fucking good.” You moan out when Eddie makes you hit the spot, and he lets go of your cheeks.

Eddie moans in your ear, making you tighten around his dick.

“Oh god, Eddie… I’m not going to last. I need to cum.” You cry out, bouncing on his dick harder and faster.

“Not yet, baby.. cum with me.”

You cry out and start to suck on Eddie’s neck, making him grip your ass hard, leaving scratch marks.

“Oh.. fuck, I’m going to cum fuck.” Eddie moans in your ear just for you to hear.

“Cum with me.” You moan in his ear, making him groan loudly.

Eddie starts to rub your clit, making you bury your head in his neck.

“Let me hear you, baby,” Eddie says, pulling your hair so you are looking at him.

“I can’t last much longer.” You cry out, scratching his back.

“Fuck.. cum for me, baby. I wanna feel you.”

That’s all it takes for you to cry out and cum on Eddie’s dick, making him cum with you and groan in your neck.

Shrivers run down your body when Eddie doesn’t pull out yet and stands there looking at you.

“You are so beautiful when you cum.” Eddie says, making your face heat up.

“I could maybe say the same thing.” You say, laughing.

Eddie glares at you but laughs it off, knowing damn well he is very handsome when he cums.

———————

“Sooo.. can I come over and stay the night at your trailer?” You ask, walking back up to Eddie’s van.

“Hmm, I guess that could work,” Eddie says, making you slap his arm.

“You want me too.. and who knows, maybe you could get some more sex.” You say quietly, getting in his van.

“What was that smart ass?” Eddie asks starting his van and driving away.

“Hm? Oh, nothing.” You say, looking at Eddie.

Eddie shakes his head laughing.

“Do you want to have sex again? Not right away.. or right away but without being in a relationship?”

“Like friends with benefits?” He asks, looking at you for a second before turning to look at the road again.

“Yes..” your a little nervous. Despite everything that just happened, your still a little nervous.

“What happens if we fall in love with each other? I wouldn’t want that to stop us from being friends or anything.”

You don’t know what to say to that because you are already In love with him. But you want to take it slow. You want to see where the future takes you both.

“Let’s just have the future handle that.” You say, looking at him.

“Let’s be friends with benefits then.”

You and Eddie smile at each other when he pulls into his driveway and sit there in silence for a few minutes before Eddie starts to speak. “Let’s go inside so we can take a shower and cuddle.”

You nod your head excitedly in agreement, and you both get out and walk into his trailer.

(if there are any mistakes, I'm sorry, I fixed everything I saw was wrong with it)

#eddie munson #stranger things smut #nature #lovers lake #eddie x reader #eddie munson smut #1980s style #stranger things #we love Eddie #mike wheeler #pink #pastel #painting #notes #noah schnapp #natural hair #nyc #pets

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