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tootiredmotel · 3 years

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a different lover is not a sin

or: 5 times Dean didn't go to Pride + 1 time he did

Happy @starrynightdeancas gift exchange posting day!!! This one's for the wonderful and talented @andzia267 !!! Sending you all the hugs and good vibes, and I hope you enjoy it! And thank you Sophie for hosting all this, you're a rock star! <3

Read on ao3 or below / 5.5k words

CW: homophobia, queer used as a slur, john winchester being an asshole

1 - 1994

Dean was fifteen years old when he found out that being gay was something people could be proud of. It was early in the morning, they'd left their motel about 20 minutes before, and Sammy had fallen asleep in the backseat. The sun was just starting to completely show over the horizon, and they were driving through– or rather, struggling to get out of– Phoenix on their way to a possible poltergeist in Tucson. Every street they tried to take was blocked for the big event, and dozens of people already lined the sidewalks with colorful outfits and signs.

"Fuckin' queers," John grumbled in the seat next to him. "Never should'a thrown that damn brick."

Big banners overhead displayed "Stonewall 25: A Global Celebration of Pride". Dean made a mental note to hit up a library once they got to Tucson to look that up, "Stonewall". In the meantime, he was mesmerized staring out the window. Guys held hands, women kissed, everyone was practically vibrating with excitement. A black man in heels and a wig caught his gaze through the window and waved. Dean started to wave back, but his hand was harshly swatted back down.

"Do not," John said. "Don’t talk to them, don’t even look at ‘em. These people are sick in the head."

Dean focused his gaze on his lap until they were out of the city, and his mind wandered back to the gas station they stopped at the day before. He thought of the guy at the cash register that called him "cutie" and winked at him as he bought a candy bar for Sammy and beers for Dad with his fake ID. By Dad’s logic– which Dean trusted, of course–, that cashier, that queer, must've been sick in the head.

Then Dean remembered how his heart sped up, how his ears got hot, and how for a second he let himself think the cashier was kinda cute too. He realized he must also be sick in the head, and the thought was making him feel actually, physically sick. He felt like throwing up. Dad could never know.

Dean was fifteen years old when he learned that being gay actually wasn't something to be proud of.

---

2 - 2000

Dean was 21 years old when he learned the word “bisexual”. Dad had caught word of a ghoul case in lower Manhattan and sent Dean to take care of it. It was starting to get too hot and the streets were too crowded, but Dean was mostly glad to get a break from the constant fighting between Dad and Sammy.

Except it was June, and every time he turned a corner, there they were. The Pride parade flyers.

The second he spotted a rainbow he averted his gaze. He turned another corner and spotted another one. He avoided reading them at all costs. He heard Dad’s voice. Sick. Sick in the head.

For years now Dean had pretended he wasn’t sick. He pretended to not stare at Patrick Swayze too much whenever Dirty Dancing played on TV. He pretended like he didn't imagine what it would be like to kiss a guy, what stubble would feel like against his lips if he ever did.

He liked women. He could stick to women. He could live his whole life like that. And that meant he wasn’t totally sick, right? He wasn’t gay -gay if he liked girls.

But then what the hell was he? Would he even belong at one of these Pride things if he wanted to? He was probably a freak of nature. Even sicker than the rest of the bunch.

Curiosity got the best of him. He spared a glance at one of the flyers as he waited to cross the street.

Gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transexuals, ALL WELCOME

“Are you gonna go?” A voice next to him asked. ”It’s next weekend.” He was blond, pale, and a bit shorter than Dean.

“What? No! I don't swing that way,” Dean said, a bit too quickly and with too much bite.

The guy looked him up and down with a frown. “Geez, alright. Just askin’.”

He started to walk away, and Dean spoke up before he could stop himself.

“Hey man, wait.”

The guy stopped walking.

“Sorry, can I ask you something? Assuming you... know about this stuff?”

He seemed exasperated, but he turned anyway, willing to hear Dean out. Dean licked his lips, rubbed at the back of his neck, swallowed nervously. He couldn’t believe he was doing this, asking a stranger on the street about something so personal. At least the chances of meeting this person ever again were close to none.

“What’s bisexual?”

The guy’s features softened a bit. He seemed to understand something about Dean that so far Dean refused to acknowledge.

“It means you’re into more than one gender. And yes, you can do that,” the guy said. He flashed Dean a tight smile and then disappeared into the crowd.

Dean felt his hands go numb and balled them into fists, shoving them in his pockets. He took a deep breath through his nose. The guy said you. You are. You can.

The guy didn’t know what he was talking about. He knew nothing about Dean. He was wrong.

Or maybe he was right.

But he couldn’t be.

Dean couldn’t be… that.

Dean was 21 years old when he decided he wasn’t bisexual. He wasn’t anything. He was also 21 when he solved a case in record time (two days), just so he could book it out of New York before the next weekend arrived.

---

3 - 2004

By the time he was 25 years old, Dean knew he was bi. He hated it, he never spoke about it, and he ignored it as much as he could, but he was aware of it. And he knew he was bi because, at 25 years old, he’d already gone through two serious breakups, and they both equally sucked.

The first was Lee. He hunted with Dean and John for about a year, the second half of which Dean and Lee spent sneaking around and hooking up behind John’s back. It was fun, and hot, and exciting, and some of the best hookups he’d had up until that point in his life were with Lee.

But the thing is that it wasn’t just hooking up. They were close, and Dean liked him. A lot. They kissed for the first time after a particularly scary werewolf hunt in which Dean almost died, but John was more preoccupied with the mostly-unharmed victim than his own son. Dean and Lee rode in the backseat, bruised, bloody, and quiet. When John went to walk the victim up to her apartment, Lee reached over and placed a hand on Dean’s back, asking him if he was okay. Dean fell into Lee’s arms, and they kissed as they pulled away from the embrace, soft and comforting. It was Dean’s first kiss with a guy.

Lee was a lot of firsts for Dean over the next few months. But then John almost caught them once, drunk and making out in the Impala.

And then that case in Arizona went wrong, and Lee just couldn’t take it anymore. He packed up, swore off hunting, hugged Dean goodbye, and left him in the dust.

Dean needed to clear his head after that. He could barely look his dad in the eye after that close call, couldn't let him see the sorrow he was feeling. With every interaction, he imagined how John would yell at him, probably try to beat it out of him, if he noticed all he was feeling over Lee. Or worse, John could ignore him, practically disown him like he did Sam.

So he also packed up and left. Went hunting on his own for a while.

It was on one of those hunts that he met Cassie, and she was yet another handful of firsts for Dean over the course of a few months. She was amazing, and he fell hard and fast, but of course that went up in flames too.

Then again, he should've known better than to be honest. Honesty only ever got him in trouble.

He’d just left her back in Ohio and was working at a bar in Indianapolis for a few weeks to make some cash. He’d eventually meet back up with Dad. He just couldn’t right now. Not with Sam gone to college. Not after getting his heart broken twice over within a year.

He was hyper-aware of the end of June approaching. He knew it was coming, Indy had a pretty big celebration, and he made sure to be working all day that day so he wouldn't have to face it.

That was pointless, though. Toward the end of the day, a big group of about ten or twelve people who were clearly coming from the parade stumbled into the bar. One of them was apparently the owner’s little sister and they went there every year after the celebrations. They were loud, and obnoxious, and looked incredibly happy. Their happiness was contagious, and Dean loved serving them. He chatted them up, got to know them a bit, and heard all about the parade, all while staring down anyone at the bar who dared look their way with even the slightest stink eye.

But watching them that happy and comfortable, seeing not one, but two pairs of guys sloppily leaning against each other and sharing the occasional kiss while none of their friends seemed to bat an eye… something in Dean ached. Deeply.

Dean was 25 years old when he realized that a small part of him kind of, sort of, wanted to be part of this community. He couldn’t though. Not if he wanted to be on good terms with Dad. Not if he aimed to be the man Dad wanted him to be.

He left Indianapolis the next day.

---

4 - 2008

Dean was 29 years old and on his own personal highway to hell when he learned his brother went to a Pride parade before he ever did. They were driving through San José, the streets were lined with ads for Silicon Valley Pride, and Sam just casually decided to mention how fun it was the last time he went.

Thankfully they were at a red light, or else Dean probably would’ve slammed the breaks. He twisted to look at Sam head-on, his arm on the back of the seat.

“You what ?” he gawked.

Sam shrugged innocently. “What?”

“You went to one of these Pride things?”

“Yeah, dude.”

Dean’s brain was just trying and failing to load. “Why?” he finally asked.

“Jessica was in the GSA and some friends invited us. It was awesome.”

“She was in the what?”

“The G. S. A.,” Sam answered slowly. “Gay-Straight Alliance.”

“Oh.” Whatever that is, Dean thought. He kept eyeing the flyers. It was tomorrow.

“Green.”

“What?”

“Light’s green. Green means go.”

Dean rolled his eyes. "Shut up."

He kept driving and turned up the radio. Somebody To Love was playing, and as much as he liked Queen, he had to change the station. He tried to picture his little brother (his straight little brother) wearing rainbow face paint and having the time of his life at this thing. How come Sammy got to go when Dean could barely entertain the idea? Dean was the not-straight one. It wasn’t fair.

He channeled his jealousy into gripping the steering wheel.

“You okay, Dean?”

“Yeah.” No. “Yeah, m’fine.”

Dean was 29 years old when he died and went to hell without ever having gone to a Pride parade, knowing that his idiot ( straight! ) little brother already had.

---

5 - 2014

Dean was alive again and 35 years old (75, if you count hell) when he was formally invited to a Pride parade for the first time. It was a couple of days after that whole mess with Cas in Lucifer’s crypt, and he called Charlie. He just wanted to hear her voice, needed to know he was still on good terms with at least one of his best friends.

“So anyway,” Charlie said after a while of recounting what she’d been up to. "How single are you right now? My answer is: miserably."

Dean chuckled. Then he thought of Cas, and the smile disappeared. "Yeah, you and me both, sister."

“Would you mind coming with me to this thing next month? Going alone kinda sucks.”

Dean put the phone on speaker and placed it on the library table as he sat down with a beer. “What’s the thing?”

“Pride.”

Dean was glad no one was around to see him almost choke on his drink.

“You good?”

“Yeah, what was that?”

“Pride parade. Don’t have anyone to go with this year.”

“Why uh… Why? Why me?”

She knows.

“I dunno.”

She knows she knows she knows.

“You’re my friend, Dean. Thought maybe you might be interested. But never mind, I guess.”

And while all the alarms in Dean's head were blaring danger danger danger abort, he also hated to hear Charlie so disappointed.

“Hey, no, listen, Charlie, I… I would. Really. You know I support you, wholeheartedly." And that's obviously the only reason I would want to go. "But with Sam doing these trials, and Cas on the run with the angel tablet–”

“It’s okay Dean, I get it. Talk to you soon?”

“Yeah.”

And she hung up.

Dean knew, at this point, that there was nothing wrong with being queer. It wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, and it sure as hell didn’t mean you were wrong in the head or whatever.

But years of pretending to be a false version of yourself in an effort to please a man who was impossible to please wasn’t exactly an easy habit to break. As much as he wished it didn't, as much as he wished he could just exist, the thought of anyone finding out still made him sick to the stomach.

John’s voice still echoed in his ears. His words still drove Dean’s sense of self-worth and so many of his decisions. He tried to never stare at a good-looking guy for too long. He tried to not get too into it with Benny. He tried to keep his feelings for Cas at bay, tried to keep him at arm's length, tried to keep the fact that he was in love (deeply, stupidly in love) as close to his chest as he could.

Even that night at the crypt choking out the words to get through to Cas, he couldn’t bring himself to say what he meant. I love you, he’d wanted to say, because it was the truth. What came out, however, was I need you. And he did, he needed Cas more than air, but it wasn't quite everything.

It still got his heart split in two.

Was he so far gone over Cas that he couldn’t hide it? Had he been trying so hard and failing just as miserably this whole time? Was his attraction to dudes that obvious? Or did Charlie just have a sixth sense for this kinda thing?

It was probably the last one. He hoped it was.

Cas knew, for sure. Angels knew everything right? They could read minds, feel longing, or whatever. And if none of that ever tipped him off, well, Dean put it all on the line back in that crypt. He told Cas how he felt, told him he needed him, tried putting himself out there, and it got him left. Again. With Dean, it was always leave-or-get-left when it came to love. He was tired of it.

Dean was 35 years old, desperately in love with his best friend, and truly heartbroken for the third time in his life, when his other best friend– an out and proud lesbian– gave him a chance to go to Pride, to break through his shell, to finally embrace himself as he was; but because he was practically living in the closet, he couldn’t seem to find the handle after so many years of purposefully ignoring its existence, and he missed his chance. Besides, what was the point of going to a celebration of love without the love of his life by his side?

---

+1 - 2021

Dean is now 42 years old and the happiest he’s ever been. The love of his life? Cas? Turns out he’s felt the same way all along. They're kind of together now, and slowly but surely they’re working through a decade’s worth of shit.

They’ve been raising a kid together too, along with Sam and Eileen, and that kid is also God. After saving the world and whatnot, Jack decided to bring back some of their friends and family that died over the years: Mary, Kevin, Charlie. Yes, there are two Charlies now, but it’s not as confusing as you’d expect. (One is from another dimension, and the other one is Dean’s little sister. Simple.) Mary’s off hunting most of the time and Kevin’s applying to college.

They’ve got extended family now too, Jody and the girls. OG Charlie is staying with them for now, while she finds her footing. Most of that household is queer. Most of Dean's household is queer as well, actually. Turns out both Jack and Eileen are non-binary, Cas is gay in the broader sense of the word, and Dean…

Dean is bi. And everyone knows now.

Apparently, a lot of people had known for a long time. Sam has known since the siren back in ‘09 (even though Dean stands by the fact that it wasn’t like that, Sammy ), and everyone has slowly picked up on his and Cas’s thing over the years, so there’s that.

He still feels a bit weird about it. About calling Cas his boyfriend, about having the freedom to hold his hand in public, about the fact that they now have goddamn pride flags hung around the bunker. He feels even weirder about the fact that John’s voice in his head is now drowned out by the sounds of his home life, more lively and supportive than he ever expected to have.

He wasn’t expecting any of this, he didn’t think everything would change so fast. But when you spend the better part of your life pushing down such a huge part of you and then finally give yourself an out, a chance to show the people who love you who you really are, everything just... follows.

Love follows. Acceptance follows. Family follows. And he wasn’t really expecting any of it.

He certainly doesn’t expect it when Cas walks into the library after his weekly Thursday evening call with Claire and announces, matter-of-factly and with air quotes, “We’re going to "Pride" this weekend.”

Dean’s stomach drops. It’s the Sioux Falls Pride Parade and Festival, it’s in two days, and they’re leaving tomorrow to spend the night at Jody’s so they can all be there bright and early Saturday morning. Everyone immediately starts bustling about, packing and planning outfits and gathering flags to bring with them.

Dean just goes to his room– his and Cas’s now– to pack a small duffle.

Well, he means to. Instead, he takes out the duffle from the closet, puts it on the bed, and sits next to it for a while. An hour goes by. He thinks back to all those times he had brushes with one of these things and was just never in the right mindset. He’s not even sure he’s in the right mindset now, but he’s going. It’s happening.

“Jack’s all ready to go,” Cas says when he walks in. “We spent about half an hour putting together an outfit for Saturday. He wanted it to be as colorful as possible.”

Dean smiles, but it’s not all there. He looks at the empty duffle next to him.

“Yeah, I might need some help with that myself.”

Cas is in sweats and a hoodie. Yes it’s June, yes it’s hot, but he’s a quasi-angel, and the way he experiences the world Dean will never be able to wrap his head around. He walks over and stands in front of Dean, running a hand through his hair and down the side of his face until he’s cupping Dean’s jaw. Dean takes Cas’s hand and leaves a few kisses on the inside of his wrist, closing his eyes as he does.

Cas regards the empty bag and hums quietly, as if in thought, before walking over to their closet. Dean chases his hand, holding onto it until he’s completely out of reach. Cas starts searching, and Dean’s stomach knots more and more with each clang of the hangers. Cas finally pulls out a flannel from its hanger– purple with hints of blue and pink– and tosses it over. Dean can’t believe he didn’t think of it first.

They continue to pack in comfortable silence before changing and getting into bed. Dean doesn’t flop onto his stomach or cuddle into Cas’s side as he usually does; instead, he lies on his back and stares at the ceiling in a daze.

“Dean?” Cas’s voice snaps him out of it.

Dean turns his head and asks, automatically, “You okay?”

It’s a habit by now, asking each other that question. It’s part of the working-through-a-decade’s-worth-of-shit thing they’re doing. Turns out they share a whole lot of trauma. They share worries and insecurities. They share nightmares sometimes, mostly about the Empty.

“I’m okay,” Cas says, putting his hand on top of Dean’s heart for him to hold, and Dean can breathe a little easier.

“You nervous about this thing?” Dean asks, interlocking their fingers.

“The parade? No, not really.”

And then, because he's been working on communicating how he's feeling out loud or whatever, Dean looks back up at the ceiling and says, "I am. Kinda."

He feels Cas shifting and propping himself up on his elbow, and then he's in Dean's line of sight. Dean's gaze is drawn to him, like all of him has been since the moment they met, and Dean can't believe he just has this now. He has a boyfriend, and it's Cas, and he's looking down at Dean with stars in his eyes and a comforting smile that actually works because it's Cas.

And then Cas is leaning down and softly pressing their lips together, and that's also something Dean can’t believe he gets to do: kiss Cas good morning and good night and at any moment in between, kiss him I'm sorry, kiss him we're going to be okay, kiss him I love you.

"I love you too, Dean," Cas says once they've pulled away, and Dean didn't even realize he'd said it out loud, but it doesn't matter. "And you don't need to be nervous. I'll be there with you."

The thought should be a thousand times more nerve-wracking, not just going to Pride but going to Pride with Cas on his arm. It's not nerve-wracking at all, and he soon drifts off to sleep.

Friday goes by faster than it should. The six-hour drive to Sioux Falls, although packed in a car with five people, goes by in a blink. They stop for provisions before getting to Jody's, filling up on backpacks' worth of snacks.

They get to the house and are met with endless hugs and excitement to match. Patience, Alex, and Jody are already working on dinner for the bunch, while Charlie, Donna, and Kaia are running around prepping for the next day and dragging along a hesitant but nevertheless happy Claire. Dinner is chaotic and loud and there are way too many people at the table, and Dean has to step outside after a while.

He sits on the back porch steps. Claire joins him. She's holding a beer, he's not. He hasn't been drinking for a few months now. They don't talk, but she leans her head on his shoulder and they stay there a while, looking at the stars.

When they go back inside, Claire sits back down in her spot at Cas's left, across the table from Dean, and leans on his shoulder for a while too. It's her way of saying she cares, of saying I missed you without really saying it. Jack sits at Cas's right, talking excitedly with Patience about some tv show or other, and the image fills Dean with such fondness that he reaches over with his foot, presses it to Cas's ankle, and keeps it there for the rest of the night.

Dean, Cas, Jack, Sam, and Eileen spend the night spread out around in the living area while the girls sleep in their respective rooms, and Dean is only slightly less nervous as he falls asleep holding Cas’s hand.

---

The nerves all come flooding back as he’s parking the Impala the next morning.

They’re not able to get even remotely close to Phillips Avenue since the streets are so full. They park the three cars that all twelve of them came in as close as they can and then have to walk for another twenty minutes. From blocks and blocks away, people walk and holler and greet them excitedly, many of them trying to circle this swarm of flanneled individuals that are taking up a whole sidewalk. Granted, Dean and Claire are the only ones in their usual kind of outfit. The rest of the bunch is wearing as many colors as they could compile from their closets, half of them are wearing face paint, and the other half are carrying an assortment of pride flags.

They fit right in.

The walk toward the main avenue of the parade is kind of a blur for Dean. He knows he waved at a few people, some friends of Alex from high school joined the group at some point, and Jack already grabbed a snack from his backpack.

The actual parade is also kind of hazy. Getting out of the house that morning had been probably even more chaotic than the night before, so they’re a bit late and the parade has already been going for a good half hour. On top of that, they accidentally merge into it not quite at the starting point but a bit further down the road, in between a decked-out pickup truck and a group of people with dogs. Music is blaring, the dogs are all barking, a big float rides a few yards in front of them, and hundreds stand on the sidewalks recording on their phones and cheering them along.

Dean’s not sure they’re even supposed to be in the actual parade. Maybe they’re supposed to be on the sidewalks? Is this right? What is happening, what is he even doing here?

He doesn’t notice how heavy he’s breathing until Cas is squeezing his hand and beckoning him to meet his eyes. He does, and the blue in them, as imposing as the Atlantic, drowns out everything else around them. “You’re okay, my love,” Cas says. It’s a fact. As long as Dean is with him, he’s okay.

On his other side, Dean feels someone link their arm around his. It’s Charlie, and she’s beaming at them, her cheeks almost as red as her hair. It brings Dean back to reality, grounds him, but he’s okay now. He’s not alone, and he’s meant to be here.

He’s proud to be here.

The parade leads up to a sloping park, and at the lowest point of it, there’s a stage where Dean assumes someone will MC for the afternoon, or maybe perform. It’s grandiose in its simplicity, kind of like a Greek theater, with everyone settling down on the grass around it, expectantly.

“We’ll be right back,” Dean hears Sam say, and he turns to find they’re all set to spend the afternoon, towels laid and backpacks off (save for his). “Jack wants to go meet the drag queens,” Sam says with just a bit too much glee before he and Jack take off.

“It’s not just Jack,” Eileen smiles and follows.

Cas is already sitting, eating one of the PB&Js he packed as lunches for everyone. Jody and Donna are settling down as well and Charlie’s taking a dozen pictures, but the rest of the girls are all standing. “We’re gonna go check out the vendors,” Claire announces, and they start to take off as well.

“Be careful, please!” Dean calls after them, but they pay him no mind. He turns to Charlie. “Hey, your majesty, keep an eye on them will you?”

She smiles, bows gracefully, and heads in the same direction.

Jody stands and grabs Dean by the arm, beckoning him to talk in private for a second.

“What’s up?”

If Dean knows Jody at all, and he does, they’re on the brink of a mom talk.

“Look around, Dean.”

“What for?”

“Just look,” she says, rolling her eyes. “Please?”

So, at her request, Dean starts taking in the environment. Now that everyone is gathered, he can actually see all the people that came out (heh) for the event. There are church groups, pet shelters, skateboarders, and rollerskaters. Drag queens are already taking pictures by the stage, and at least two people are wearing unicorn heads. A few vendors’ tents and food trucks surround the park, and rainbows completely dominate the scenery. There are elders, and kids, and all kinds of families and couples, and everyone looks… happy. Free.

And Dean is here with them. He is one of them.

There’s no danger, no monsters of any kind. No one to judge him, hurt him, call him sick in the head.

He finds Claire’s blonde head amongst the sea of shoppers at the edge of the park. She’s holding hands with Kaia and has one of the biggest smiles Dean has ever seen on her face. There’s no shame in it, and she’s not in any danger either. Things are different now, and she has the freedom to be herself that he never had at her age.

He has it now too. He can be himself.

Dean doesn’t realize he’s about to cry until Jody pulls him down into a hug.

“Dean, I am so proud of you.”

And then he cries.

---

They spend the afternoon laying on the grass, eating, drinking, and enjoying the festivities. The girls come back from the vendors’ tents after a full hour, and most of the bags on their arms are Charlie’s. She gets Cas a mug that says bee yourself in rainbow colors with an image of a cartoon bee, and she gets Dean a button pin that says AC/DC in pink and blue. There’s a meaning behind that apparently, and Dean decides he’ll look it up later.

Jack memorizes all the drag queen’s names. Donna takes a million pictures. They trade numbers with a few people.

There’s a big fireworks show just after sundown. It starts to get windy and a bit chilly, so Dean grabs the nearest pride flag and wraps it around himself. Cas, the perpetual freak who just doesn’t feel temperature apparently, is wearing a t-shirt and shorts and smiling at him unabashedly.

“What?”

“That’s the bisexual flag.”

So it is. “Shut up,” Dean says, but he’s smiling too. “You want in on this?”

He doesn’t wait for Cas to respond before he wraps it around his shoulders as well. The fireworks continue.

“You know,” Cas says after a beat. “As beautiful as they are, pyrotechnics are extremely damaging to the environment.”

Dean can’t help but laugh because of course, Cas would say something like that in a moment like this. He laughs and laughs and regrets being the only one to have heard that; then again, he’s the only one who could’ve found that funny.

He laughs a bit more, wipes a tear, and sees that Cas is still just solemnly watching the show.

“Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?” He replies and then turns his head.

Dean wants to kiss him. He wants to kiss him so bad. Then he remembers where he is, physically and in his life right now, realizes whom he’s surrounded by at this very second, and decides that he can.

So he does. It’s not unlike the way he kissed Cas when they rescued him from the Empty. Granted, there’s less sweat, blood, adrenaline. But just like that day, they’re both on the ground, and the gesture catches Cas by surprise. Just like that day, Dean pulls Cas in gently by the back of his neck and there’s no hesitance or fear. Just like that day, he just does it, presses their lips firmly together, and relishes in the taste of Castiel, in the feeling of the person he loves most in this world kissing him back.

The one big difference is this: that day marked the beginning of the rest of his life. Today? Today is just Dean’s first Pride.

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djcarnationsblog · 2 years

Text

BUNGOU STRAY DOGS HEADCANONS

I’m sorry, this is a fucking urge I need to get off my chest XD A few hcs for each BSD Character I’m feelin-

Ships including Dazai/Chuuya, Atsushi/Akutagawa, Poe/Ranpo

Warning for spoilers!

DAZAI OSAMU (FIRST ONE IS LONG, BARE WITH ME-)

>Dazai is a transmasc man, but also a femboy. I say this why? Well, take a look at my semi-indepth, legit serious reasoning for giving it to him XDXDXD

Dazai, back in the Port Mafia, never had much control of how his life went, if you think about it. Where he slept, where he lived, what he did, who he was or wasn’t allowed to kill, whether he was allowed to die or not. Barely any part of his life was in his control. Being trans only made it harder on himself, mostly because of...well, Mori and his bullshit. He wasn’t even in control of the way some people saw him, in terms of gender.

The bandages he wears aren’t only for scars, but they were to bind. Why? Because they were the only thing available he could use. The scars were an excuse to bind, and make it look like a natural, aesthetic choice, yet Dazai himself wished he didn’t have to bind with his own bandages, just another thing he couldn’t control. HOWEVER, before he found out he was trans, there was one specific outlet he had, one that he could indulge within the safety of his own living quarters.

And that was what he wore. You see, Dazai doesn’t care about gender norms, and that carelessness also helped him find in outlet, the one thing that he was in control of. He especially grew fond of wearing feminine clothes.

So, he’s a trans femboy because it started out as a sort of outlet for him in the Port Mafia, which then became one of the things he loves because of how free it makes him feel, to make his own decisions and all.

>Dazai can dance. He so totally danced with Chuuya back in the Port Mafia. Don’t matter if it’s classical dance, or fuckin’ obscene dancing, just. Dance-

>Dazai, when Odasaku was alive, saw him as a brother figure. Because he’d have these moments with Odasaku, whether it be asking him to iron his clothes, or fucking around at the bar, he’d have these moments where he goes ‘huh, brother material’. One time he accidentally called Odasaku his brother, Oda never let him live it the fuck down.

>Dazai is emotionally constipated, fuckin’ stupid when it comes to romance especially. Chuuya asking him out on their first date? Man fucking fainted. He may be good at manipulating people with his charms, but he CAN NOT for the life of him, take what he dishes if it’s genuine. And often times he doesn’t know when it’s genuine until it’s up in his face as obvious as the sun.

>Dazai also can’t take genuinely affectionate nicknames, which Chuuya uses sparingly JUST so this fucker doesn’t get used to it.

CHUUYA NAKAHARA

>Chuuya likes wearing harnesses. Doesn’t matter on what part of the body, he just likes how they look on him.

>The first time Dazai had ever been vulnerable with him, he didn’t actually know how to process it, and just put a hand to his cheek cluelessly. Turns out Dazai likes affectionate physical contact, so Chuuya would make sure to do it at least once or twice a day.

>Chuuya may be a lightweight to liquor and wine, but damn if people said he couldn’t make some GOOD. DAMN. WINE. They’d be either liars, or they don’t even know Chuuya. Everyone loves Chuuya’s wine.

>Chuuya mutually simps for Dazai, even though he tries so damn hard to hide it. Literally loves the shit out of him but he’s too much of a tsun to admit it-

>Chuuya and Kouyou would have days where they just sit down, and gay. That’s it. A gay and a lesbian just simping over hot guys and girls.

>*Bonus cause fuck yeah* Chuuya is like the father figure to so many people it’s fucking crazy. Elise, Q, Kyoka, all the kiddies. Just. Dad vibes.

ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA

>He’s a bi icon, all the bi vibes.

>Atsushi’s pupils will sharpen like a cat’s in daylight, it’s just that the others don’t often notice unless you stare at him when he goes into dark areas, then comes out of them.

>Atsushi CAN in fact purr. He has done it. When Dazai had put a hand on his head, Atsushi just kinda started purring. Dazai has never been so astonished by the fact that his ability actually meshes with some part of his being like this. He never let Atsushi live it down either.

>Atsushi definitely can pick up Akutagawa, like we’ve all seen before. I like to think he actually doesn’t rely on the tiger for that strength, he’s just naturally very strong, and often times he’s training to gain more of that strength.

>More often than not, when Aku and Atsu are in a relationship, Atsushi has the habit of just picking up Akutagawa and walking around with him, absolutely everywhere. He likes doing that, and Akutagawa doesn’t mind, so score-

RYUUNOSUKE AKUTAGAWA

>Akutagawa is definitely demisexual and somewhere on the asexual spectrum to me.

>Akutagawa is a damn fashionista, you can not tell me otherwise. His whole wardrobe is filled with outfits he’ll wear off the job for specific days and everything.

>Akutagawa and Gin would constantly mock each other behind their coworkers’ backs. Middle fingers, stuck out tongues, the like. They’re like overgrown children to each other and literally nobody’s caught them yet.

>Akutagawa likes laying his head on Atsushi’s lap, because that prompts upside down kisses and he loves those kisses. Atsushi knows what the fuck he’s doing whenever he does that, but he indulges him anyways.

>Akutagawa and Chuuya are like, the best of fucking friends and you can not change my mind. They do so much together and shit, it’s adorable because Chuuya’s just teaching him about all these different things and Aku’s always willing to learn.

RANPO EDOGAWA

>Ranpo’s got so much sass in his tiny body. He’ll literally chew out a person without hesitation. Man, chill XD.

>Ranpo likes making origami swans, he learned it from Poe and has just been casually filling up one of the rooms of Poe’s mansion with them.

>He’s stolen Poe’s boots before. Bitch can’t walk in them, but he sure as hell looks fabulous in them. Poe doesn’t even mind, man.

>Ranpo can play the ukelele, he’ll often play it for Poe while he writes, and Poe gives him candy as compensation.

>Ranpo’s a proud, picky pan.

EDGAR ALLAN POE

>Poe can play the piano, calling it now. He’ll be playing that shit when he has writer’s block to help clear his head.

>Poe doesn’t even remember where the hell he got Karl. Just picked him up one day and decided that was how it’s gonna go.

>Poe’s actually freakishly flexible, Ranpo’s always impressed by it because this man can and will sit in what seems like the most uncomfortable positions when writing but it really helps him actually.

>Poe didn’t really have a choice when his bangs decided to grow over his eyes, he just decided to go with the flow afterwards cause it benefitted him.

>Poe’s Sapiosexual and Bisexual. That’s it-

#BSD #bsd headcanons #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #atsushi nakajima #akutagawa ryuunosuke #ranpo edogawa #edgar allan poe #DJC rambles

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writing-with-olive · 3 years

Text

The Stonewall Riots of 1969

1) Current State of Being (it was not good, fam, not good)

To set the scene, we’re in the late sixties. We’ve won the second World War, and suddenly everyone’s dealing with the fact that the patriotic frenzy America has been whipped into isn’t really having the same purpose it used to. Thing is, everyone’s still really heated along the basic lines of DEATH TO COMMUNISM AND ALSO COMMUNISTS. During the war, this was helpful. It created a sense of unity. But once the war was over, attention turned inward.

At this time, there was also research that queer people were "sex perverts" and a government report even came out saying

"The lack of emotional stability which is found in most sex perverts and the weakness of their moral fiber, makes them susceptible to the blandishments of the foreign espionage agent [...] the pervert is easy prey to the blackmailer.

This same report also cited a case of a gay man "who's homosexuality was used by the Russians [who were communist] to recruit him as a double agent before world war 1." Basically, the overall gist was that gay people were believed to either be communists now, or they would become communists because their brains were weaker.

Alrighty, but why were they easy prey? First, when it came to communism, they were just as susceptible as anyone else, but after steep laws against queer people were passed, blackmail became pretty real.

So... yeah, let's talk about a couple laws that were in place in the late sixties, shall we?

For the crime of sleeping with a consenting partner in the privacy of your own home you could face anything from:

A light fine

Five, ten or twenty years in prison

A life sentence

Electrical shock therapy

Castration

In addition, to target trans people, police had also dug out a law from the nineteenth century that was originally passed to supress angry tenant farmers who would don disguises and demonstrate against their landlords (law found in subsection 4 of section 240.35 of the New York Penal Code). The law stated that individuals could not wear more than three items of clothing that did not match their assigned gender at birth.If an officer thought you were breaking this law, they could arrest you and take you to a bathroom or similarly private location and have an officer who matched your presented gender either do a strip search or pat you down there to see if things matched.

Things got especially bad when New York realized they’d have to “clean up the place” in preperation for hosting the World Fair. In part, this meant a heavy crackdown on the gay community, and by extention, gay bars.

2) The Genovese Crime Family and Stonewall

At around this time, the Mob was starting to notice that gay bars were an excelent source of profit - since the prohibition era (1920-1933), limited access bars and speakeasies had popped up everywhere and since the gay community already couldn’t be themselves on the streets, they retreated to these more sheltered locations.

Three mafia members decided to open a gay bar because ohhh boy could you rake in some serious profit. Combined, the three of them put up $3500 to “renovate” the Stonewall Inn (which had gone through itterations of being a straight nightclub, straight bar, and gay restaurant in a sort of irregular cycle).

Renovations included building a stage to dance on, painting the walls black, and getting a jukebox. No running water, no fire exit, just the bare minimum. It certainly wasn’t legal.

When they opened (as a bottle club to get around pesky liquor laws), the bouncer would look through a little slat in the door and if you had a codeword or looked sufficiently gay, he’d let you in. You then had to sign up to be a part of the club (about a dollar) and write your name down on a sheet of paper. Of course, no one wrote down their real names.

The liquor in question was stolen, to begin with, and then heavily watered down with... questionably clean water, and then sold at about three times the original price in half-cleaned glasses (glasses were dunked in a bucket and then reused). Since none of the patrons really had high expectations anyway, they went with it. Needless to say, however, Stonewall was not a particularly nice place to be.

With all the money the trio raked in, a cut had to go to the Mafia man who controlled the district, and another cut went to paying of the notoriously corrupt 6th Precinct, to avoid getting the whole place shut down.

Because they were payed off, the police would only conduct their mandated raids early in the night before things got going, and on weekdays - this was when there weren’t a ton of people there, and it was easy to make it look like nothing was amiss.

3) The Raid (this is where shit gets real)

First of all, the thing is - no one knows why it happened. It just.... did.

On June 28th, 1969, at about 2am, the night was in full swing. The bar was crammed full of people dancing and drinking. The air was stuffy as usual and quite dark.

Then the bright flourescent lights come on - the signal that there was a raid and to seperate and to look less gay. The police came through, and called that they were making arrests. Everyone needed to line up against the wall and have their ID’s ready. Of course this was an issue, because just about everyone was legally not supposed to be at stonewall.

As the police began taking people outside, a crowd was going - raids at this time were... unusual to say the least. Some of the queens went into the back of the police cars without much of a fight - obviously they were terrified, but it didn’t look like there was much they could do.

One of them, however, and no one knows who for sure, was having none of this. Though Marsha Johnson and Sylvia Rivera have both been suggested as the starter of the riot, both have denied it, saying it was someone else. Storme DeLarverie, however, has both accepted and denied it was her. In an interview where she confirmed herself as the starter, she described her reaction, saying:

“The cop said ‘Move f****t’, thinking that I was a gay guy. I said, ‘I will not! And, don’t you dare touch me.’ With that, the cop shoved me and I instinctively punched him right in the face. He bled! He was then dropping to the ground - not me!”

She then turned to the crowd and yelled “why don’t you all do something?”

This was when things transformed. Objects started to fly. It was like someone had just punched a hole through the dam holding back the collective anger of the queer community.

A lot of the queer street kids, homeless, desperate, and with nothing to lose, were at the forefront of the fight, throwing anything from stones to pennies to bottles. Here’s the thing: no one really liked Stonewall - it wasn’t particularly nice or inviting or anything like that, but it was THEIRS and they were going to fight like hell for it.

Those being pulled out of the Inn started fighting back too - throwing what they could, kicking, punching, pushing back against the police. Marsha Johnson, a woman some have referred to as “basically a lesbian superhero” even climbed a telephone pole and threw an unidentified heavy object at a police car, shattering the window.

It was chaos and the crowd was still building. The flying objects didn’t stop, and it wasn’t like anyone had great aim - they were just as likely to hit a fellow protester - but there was a sense of comraderie and it made the police nervous. They were calling for reinforcements, but none were coming.

Finally, one of the police chiefs decided they had to retreat into Stonewall. They grabbed a few people as hostages and dissapeared inside, and barricaded the door. The inside of the Stonewall Inn was a wreck. The jukebox had been smashed. Same with the stage, the bathroom mirrors, and the cash register. Broken furniture was strewn on the floor.

Outside, the rioters had yanked a parking meter out of the ground and were trying to bash their way through the door, using it like a battering ram. Each thud made the officers even more nervous, and the captain, realizing things could turn from bad to horrific and deadly commanded his officers not to shoot unless he shot first. He went up to each one, commanding them individually by name, saying that if they shot without his direct sayso, they would be spend the rest of their police careers with only the worst possible jobs. To their credit, no one shot.

Outside, reinforcements finally arrived, armed in full riot gear - helmets, plastic shields, those club/baton things. They came forward in a full on phalanx. Then it started getting really ugly. People ended up lying on the sidewalk with blood coming from their heads or injured in other ways. The crowd started falling back, step by step. Finally, many of them ran.

But not to flee. Instead, they went all the way around the block and came up behind the reinforcement officers. Surprised that there was a new attack coming from behind, it was the police that began to loose the ground, and were forced to retreat back, back, back.

It was into the late, late hours of the night when the riots finally died down to nothing, the last of the crowd finally dispersed, exhausted.

4) The Next Day (aka a giant middle finger to the cops)

The shattered glass sparkled in the morning light the next day - a tribute to what had gone down the night before.

That night, the crowds around stonewall were huge. And it wasn’t just the queer community - the anti-war protesters and Black Panthers had joined in, standing against the even larger ranks of officers. The night before was a tipping point, but if momentum was to keep going, there needed to be sustained effort.

Inside, the Inn was back to normal. The Mafia had repaired the stage, gotten a new cash register, and even replaced the jukebox. It was if the efforts of the police had never even happened. Throughout the night, the queer community went in and out as though everything were totally normal - as if the police didn’t matter.

The riots were even worse than the night before, but the police couldn’t gain any ground.

Despite what was happening and the triumphs of the queer community, the press was a little less enthusiastic, aiming to diminish what had happened, taking the viewpoint of the police, or claiming the riots happened because of a celebrity’s death, and not the decades upon decades of oppression.

5) The Impact (how we got to today)

A year later, a lot of the Stonewall participants gathered to commemorate the movement. There were now several activism groups that had grown since the riots, but there needed a way to keep it growing - keep the flame from dying out.

One woman proposed that they have a march like the Civil Rights movement and Anti-war protesters were having. As soon as the question filled the space, there was unanimous consensus. Yes - they were to march.

It was terrifying. One member remembered fearing that only ten or so people would show up - that it was only going to make them into a laughingstock and nothing more. Indeed, many people had shown up with popcorn to “watch the f*gs” - it was seen almost as a show or performance.

But the moment was anything but. When the member looked back, in apprehension, what he saw wasn’t ten or the anticipated couple hundred people. No more than two thousand people had joined the parade. And not just the queer community - straight New Yorkers were there too. It was a moment of solidarity, and a demand for justice.

Every year since, there have been pride marches around the country, memorium to the community, and to the fight we’ve been fighting for a very long time, and to the patrons of Stonewall Inn who finally decided enough was enough.

6) Sources (because apparently trusting an unsourced tumblr posts is seen as an academic no-no)

(all in MLA because I just copy/pasted them from my research notes and also MLA feels official and all that)

Yardley, William. "Stormy DeLarverie, Early Leader in the Gay Rights Movement, Dies at 93." The New York Times, 29 May 2014, www.nytimes.com/2014/05/30/nyregion/storme-delarverie-early-leader-in-the-gay-rights-movement-dies-at-93.html?_r=0. Accessed 12 Apr. 2021.

Brown, Dalvin. "Marsha P. Johnson: Transgender Hero of Stonewall Riots Finally Gets Her Due." USA Today, 27 Mar. 2019, www.usatoday.com/story/news/investigations/2019/03/27/black-history-marsha-johnson-and-stonewall-riots/2353538002/. Accessed 12 Apr. 2021.

Burey, Jodi-Ann. "'It Wasn't No Damn Riot': Celebrating Stonewall Uprising Activist Storme DeLarverie." The Riveter, Feb. 2017, theriveter.co/voice/it-wasnt-no-damn-riot-celebrating-stonewall-uprising-activist-storme-delarverie/. Accessed 12 Apr. 2021.

Carter, David. Stonewall: The Riots That Sparked the Gay Revolution. 2nd ed., New York, St. Martin's Griffin, 2010.

Duberman, Martin B. Stonewall. New York, Plume, 1993.

Edsall, Nicholas C. Toward Stonewall: Homosexuality and Society in the Modern Western World. Charlottesville [Va.], U of Virginia P, 2003.

Kristi K. "Something like a Super Lesbian: Storme DeLarverie (In Memoriam)." The K Word, edited by Kristi K, 28 May 2014, thekword.com/2014/05/28/something-like-a-super-lesbian-storme-delarverie-in-memoriam/. Accessed 12 Apr. 2021.

---. "Something like a Super Lesbian: Storme DeLarverie (In Memoriam)." The K Word, edited by Kristi K, 28 May 2014, thekword.com/2014/05/28/something-like-a-super-lesbian-storme-delarverie-in-memoriam/. Accessed 12 Apr. 2021.

"The Stonewall You Know Is a Myth. And That's O.K. | NYT Celebrating Pride." YouTube, uploaded by The New York Times, 31 May 2019, www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7jnzOMxb14. Accessed 12 Apr. 2021.

(not in mla sorry) - PBS’s Stonewall Uprising (documentary)

++++

tagging: @veryunoriginal and @doggo038 because yall seemed pretty interested. Also my usual taglist: @candlemouse @bookdragonfanish @book-limerence

If you want to be added/removed from any of my taglists, let me know! taglists found pinned to the top of my blog :D

#queer history #lgbtq #stonewall riots #greenwich #pride parades #sources are at the bottom :D #sixth precinct #storme delarverie #marsha johnson #sylvia rivera #black panthers #anti-war protesters #american history #gay history #olive's writing vibes #guys if you could reblog this that would be awesome more people need to know queer history #yall are the best!

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retroellie · 4 years

Text

Dating Ellie Williams Headcannons

Summary: Headcannons for dating ellie

A/N: Have this because my last imagine was ass... I think i like writing headcannons way more than imagines lmao

Warning: TLOU2 spoilers, Mentions of death, PTSD, and NSFW/dirty talk

Word Count: 1.8k

- She fell in love with you when she first saw you

- She had just come to Jackson after the incident with the fireflies

- You being around the same age as her tommy asked you to show her around and tell her what’s what

- “Ellie this is Y/n, Y/n this is ellie.” Tommy introduced y’all

-Her heart stopped when she saw you, she couldn’t help the blush that was forming.

-She couldn’t stop looking at you when you were talking about the shops and sights around Jackson

- It seemed like you were liked around town, you were friendly to everyone and everyone knew who you were

- She will never forget the thing you said to her when you guys were in front of her new home

-”Tommy told me a lot about you and i just want you to know, you're safe now.”

-She felt for the first time she could let go, relax for a minute

-You helped her move into the garage, trying to make her as comfortable as she could be

- She wrote about you a lot in her journal, writing poems and drawing pictures of you

-You guys hung out a lot with Jesse and Dina but she would much rather hang out with you alone

-You two had become really good friends by the time you guys were 16, i mean Ellie opened up to you more than she did anyone

-Opening up meaning talking about her interests and some of her favorite childhood memories

-She was honestly too scared to tell you about her immunity and even more scared to tell you about her past, afraid that she was gonna scare you away

-You introduced her to cat and you definitely regretted it because cat liked her

-When they started dating cat was definitely the third wheel because you and Ellie were so closer

-You held Ellies hand when she got her tattoo, she couldn’t hide the blush than but blamed it on the pain

-You guys shared the same love for music, you showed her most of the music she listened to

-You would sleep over at her place a lot

-You guys would watch movies, talk about space and dance horribly to old music

-Y’all could never get bored of each other

-When you spent the night at her place you would sleep in her bed with her but it was as friends, Ellie didn’t want you sleep on the floor and you didn’t want to force her out of her own bed

-Ellie would always get so embarrassed when you slept over, she would always go into a gay panic

-By the time y’all were 18, she was head over heels for you

-You two were still best friends but her feelings got in the way so she was distant

-It got to the point where she didn’t want to be with anyone else, it was either you or no one

-She didn’t really have time for relationships so she didn’t really mind it

-She would play guitar for you when you came over, even attempting to teach you

-Everything she owned was yours and everything you owned was hers

-”God damn it, where is my Walkman”

-”Oh, I took it. Mine broke.”

-Ellie bashed on everyone you liked, Little did she know you liked her

- You liked the boy who worked at the bar? She had something to say about him

-You found out she liked you when you two were dancing one night

-Your arms were wrapped around her neck and hers around your waist, it was like a scene from a movie

-You both felt the tension, it made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy

-”I’m just a girl.... not a threat.”

-”Oh ellie... I think they should be terrified of you.”

-Next thing you know her lips were on yours

-The kiss felt like it went on forever until you pulled away, panting for air

-No words exchanged just a smirk and her pulling you out of the church

-She didn’t waste anytime, She’s been waiting for this moment

-Now that you guys were together, you guys were too powerful

-You guys spent a lot of time in her garage, i swear you basically lived there

-You guys could spend hours tangled up together or have heated make out sessions that lead to so much more

-Soft kisses and 80s movies

-endless sex i swear this woman is going to be the death of me

-I have said this before but this girl is always horny, i mean she still has raging hormones so she’s always on top of you

-She tries to highlight her tattoo when pleasuring you because she knows it drives you crazy

-She loves when you sit in her lap, it’s both cute and hella sexy to her

-Her kisses make you lightheaded, like you gotta sit down for a minute after she kisses you

-She finds your body fascinating, like it sounds cringey but she love everything about you body

-She likes to explore your body a lot, like what gets the best reaction out of you

-She’s kinda new to sex, she’s had a fling or two but nothing long term so now she really has to get this shit down

-She’s the top, i said what i said

-Joel has walked in on you two lots of times

-”Hey elli... OH FUCK. SORRY, I’m sorry.” He says while covering his eyes

-You both have to stop for a minute just to laugh your asses off

-Y’all were really loud too so like y’all got complaints a lot

-”Sorry, Y/n came over for a minute.” Ellie says busting through the door

-”Yeah i know, i heard y’all.” Joel joked

-She makes really bad cheesy pick up lines to you

-”You know I’m jealous of your heart, because it’s pumping in and out of you and I’m not.”

-”I’m literally gonna break up with you.’

-She never fails to make you laugh

-Her with her fucking puns mama, you can’t hide from her silly side

-Joel is a proud dad, he loves his lesbian daughter and her girlfriend

-Later on into the relationship ellie fully opens up to you

-You were tracing her tattoo one day, feeling the bumpiness of it

-”What happened?’

-She debated on telling you, Joel said not to tell anyone

-She gave in through, telling you about riley, her immunity, her and Joel's trip, even David

-She ended up crying, you’ve never seen her that broken down before

-You held her most the day, giving her all the kisses she needed

-When Joel died, you were basically always with her. Not wanting to leave her alone

-You were the one that found them. You shook ellie awake, Letting her sob into your shirt

-You brought her home, she could barely move. She was in so much shock and pain

-You cleaned her up and took days off of rounds just to lay in bed with her all day

-The nights were the worst

-She would wake up in tears, sweat drenched her body. She would bury her face into her chest, crying her eyes out

-”I saw him. All the blood..”

-”I know baby, it’s okay. I’m here.”

-you guys were still so in love with each other at 20, maybe even more if that was possible

-The trip to Seattle and trying to kill Abby really brought y’all even closer, seeing sides of each other you guys never had

-The fear and the defeat you both felt on that trip, it made ellie more in love with you that you stayed

-You two lived in a small farmhouse after the trip to Seattle, it was nice and quiet

-You lived like two cottagecore lesbians out in the middle of nowhere, it was a good change

-Ellie would love to paint you with flowers, she found that you and flowers together created a perfect masterpiece

-Ellie was kinda a city girl so you had to teach her a lot of stuff, you mostly read books about farms because you didn’t have a clue either

-You guys lived without pants, like no one was there to see y’all, no one to impress so like fuck it, who needs pants

-Ellie loved waking up to you in the kitchen, with messy hair and nothing but her t-shirt on.... Yes please

-To save water y’all would take baths together, it mostly always turned into bath sex

- Ellie was glued to your side, like wherever you went she was there with you

-She was very distracting, always kissing up your neck or moving your hips on hers

-I swear this woman was distracting without meaning to be

-When she was doing farm work and her tattoo would stand out, it made you want to jump on her every single time

-Sex with her back then was great but sex with her now was so much better

-She really matured a lot, she knew what she wanted and just how to do it

-Your pleasure came first to her, she loved the feeling of being able to pleasure you

-Don’t worry, you didn’t leave her out. You made sure she felt just as good as you

-She wasn’t shy so dirty talk was her thing

-”Just one more time baby, i wanna see you cum on my fingers one more time.” I’m so gross im sorry AHDS

-She would fuck you on literally everything in the house

-No one was near to hear y’all and y’all could do it anywhere and at anytime, it was fucking heaven for y’all

-Y’all were together a lot and although ellie loved it, she knew you liked your alone time

-She would go into her painting room and play guitar or draw, doing anything to keep her busy

- After a hour or two went by you would come in and sit on her lap, hinting that you were getting a bit lonely

-You were always there for her when she went through her attacks, telling her it was going to be okay and you were here with her

-”Y/N! I- I can’t.. can’t breath.”

-”Ellie baby, you're okay. just keep taking deep breaths for me, okay?”

-Seeing her like this broke your heart but you were nothing but patient with her, she was really thankful for that

-You never talked about joel or even riley, you knew those were sensitive topics so when she did talked about them you listened and allowed her to rant

-”You know, I think Riley would’ve really liked you.”

-”You think so?”

-”Yeah, she would’ve liked your weird taste in music.’

-Ellie dreamed about what it would've been like in a normal world

-She could see you two meeting at a movie theater, hitting it off and eventually getting married, Maybe adopting a kid or two

-She was so in love with you, no matter what you looked like or what your body type was. She loved you

!Credits to gif owner!

#the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us x reader #Ellie Williams #ellie williams x reader #tlou ellie

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maxineswritingcenter · 3 years

Text

You Saved Me - Derek Hale x fem!reader part 15

-------------------

Derek and I had taken off after the Kanima on foot. Stiles and Scott followed in his Jeep. We made it to an abandoned parking lot, halting a moment.

“You stay behind and wait for Scott, I’ll follow the scent this way.” He took off over the fence as Stiles and Scott pulled up. Scott got out, and jumped over the fence. I followed behind him down the tunnel.

“Okay! I’ll be here!” I heard Stiles yelled. I caught up to Scott, and we both ran in the direction of hissing and growling.

“Where’s-” He came to a halt and froze. I skidded to a stop as well. Gerard Argent stood there, almost like he had been waiting. Well, there goes my alibi of not being a werewolf, but odds are he already knows. We took off in the opposite direction, eventually finding a boiler room below a nightclub.

“Why the hell is Gerard here?” I panted.

He shook his head, “I have no idea.”

“What do we do now?” We turned around and yelped. Stiles was standing behind us.

“Sorry, sorry.” He apologized, “Did you see where he went?”

“We lost him.” Scott panted, resting his head against the red brick wall.

“What? You can’t catch his scent?”

“I don’t think he has one.”

I leaned against the wall, “That’s how he gets the jump on us, we can’t smell him coming like any other werewolf.”

“Alright, any clue where he’s going?”

“To kill someone.” Scott narrowed his eyes at Stiles.

“ Ah. That explains the claws, and the fangs, and all that. Good. Makes perfect sense now. “ Stiles’ voice dripped with sarcasm. Scott continued to stare.

“What? Scott, come on. I'm one hundred and forty-seven pounds of pale skin and fragile bone- sarcasm is my only defense!”

I looked him up and down, “You’re only a hundred and forty-seven pounds? We gotta bulk you up for the finals, you’re gonna get killed out there.”

“Not the time for lacrosse advice, (Y/N).”

“Yup, got it.”

“Just help me find it.” Scott said, getting frustrated with our back and forth.

“Not “it”. Jackson.” Stiles corrected.

“Yeah, I know. I-I know.” Scott looked around the corner.

“All right, but does he know that? Did anybody else see him back at your house?” Stiles asked.

“Everyone who knew saw. Lydia missed it though.” I said, trying to hear anything.

“I mean, I don't think so, but he already passed Derek's test anyway.”

“Right, because that test was so accurate.” I smirked.

“But that's just the thing, how did he pass the test?” Stiles asked.

"I don't know." Scott said his favorite sentence. But the fact of the matter is, there were no answers for anything.

“Maybe it's like an either-or thing? I mean, Derek said that a snake can't be poisoned by its own venom, right? When is the Kanima not the Kanima?”

“...When it’s Jackson.” Scott and I said in unison. Stiles’ eyes went wide and his mouth was pressed firmly shut. I followed his gaze and gasped, quickly covering my mouth. Scott followed our gaze, seeing the slimy green tail of the kanima disappear into the attic of the club.

“He’s inside.” Scott said, staring up.

“What's he gonna do in there?” Stiles asked, peaking around my shoulder.

“Well, I don’t think he’s looking for a date.” I said, staring at where the kanima went inside.

"I know who he's after." Scott stared at the window.

"What? How? Did you smell something?" Stiles asked, staring at Scott.

"Armani." Scott stated. We moved around the corner and looked inside the window of the building. The origin of the Armani just happened to be Danny. He was walking towards the entrance of the club, named Jungle.

“Well... At least he’s getting out.” The corner of my mouth twitched up. We walked around to the other side of the club to the back door. Stiles attempted to open the back door, but alas it was locked.

“Ah come on.” Stiles groaned, backing away from the door and looking up, “ Alright, maybe there's, like, a uh-like, a window we could climb through, or some kind of-” Stiles was cut off by Scott ripping the handle off the door and handing it to Stiles.

“...Handle that we could rip off with supernatural strength? How'd I not think of that one?” He threw the handle over his shoulder. Why was this place familiar? We all walked into the club. As we got into the actual club, we stopped. The loud music and lights reminded me of a party from high school. There were four disco balls on the ceiling surrounding one large one in the middle of the room. Beams of colored light were bouncing off the sweaty club goers. There were aerial silk dancers throughout the room, there were also shirtless men dancing on tables. That’s why I recognized the name.

“Dude, everyone in here is a dude! I think we're in a gay club... “ Scott said, astutely observing his surroundings.” We turned back, looking at Stiles who was flocked by two drag queens.

“Man, nothing gets past those keen Werewolf senses, huh, Scott?” Stiles said sarcastically.

We managed to get Stiles away from the queens and over to the bar where we found Danny. But before I could make it there, another drag queen pulled me away from them.

“Miss girl.” She drawled. This queen was all pink. Pink acrylics, pink outfit, large poofy pink wig. Her makeup was very dramatic, but in an aesthetically pleasing way.

“Um... yes?” I cracked a nervous smile.

“Do you know where you are? Because the lesbian night club is a town over.” She pointed towards the door.

“I uh, my brother,” I pointed towards Stiles, “He just came out and was too nervous to come alone.”

“Oh, how sweet.” She said, looking over at Stiles. Stiles looked back at us. The queen smiled and winked, waving dramatically. Stiles smiled back nervously and waved before turning back to the conversation they were having.

“See, he said he wanted to go try to talk to someone alone, but he’s just so skittish.” I put my hands on my chest.

“Well good luck, doll.” She put a hand on my shoulder, “It is the beginning of a long journey.” I smiled, watching the queen walk away. I rushed back over to Stiles. Where he was unsuccessfully trying to get a drink. "Three beers." Stiles smiled. The bartender stared at us.

“IDs?” We all took out our respective IDs. He stared at them, then back at us.

“How about three cokes?” He asked.

“Rum and Cokes!” Stiles grinned, “Sure.” The bartender looked unamused.

“...Coke's fine, actually. I'm driving, anyway.” Stiles backed down. We turned around and waited, scanning the room.

“Your drinks are paid for.” We looked back at the bartender. He motioned his head to the end of the bar. There was an older man who smiled at us, toasting his beer to us.

“How bi.” I smiled, waving back. Stiles looked at Scott who was trying not to laugh.

“Awh, shut up.” Stiles glared.

“I didn’t say anything.” Scott said innocently.

“Well, your face did.” Stiles sneered, we looked back towards the dancefloor where we saw Danny dancing.

“Hey, I found Danny.” Stiles said.

“I found Jackson.” Scott said. We looked up, watching Jackson stalking the ceiling, twisting and turning through wires. Right above where Danny was dancing.

“Get Danny.” Scott said.

“What are ya gonna do?” Stiles asked as we watched Scott’s claws come out, “Works for me.” We started maneuvering our way towards Danny’s direction.

“Danny!” Stiles shouted over the music. Danny was dancing with a guy, but as we got closer, we lost sight of him.

“Danny!” Stiles called again. Smoke started coming down from the ceiling. Was there a fire? No, the smell wasn’t the same. That’s when the screaming started. I frantically looked around, trying to find anyone. Soon the smoke cleared, and there was a line of paralyzed men on the floor, Danny being one of them. “Danny!” I called. The music was shut down and the lights had come back on. I went down on my knees to check if he was breathing. He was looking around, fear in his eyes.

“(Y/N)?” He asked, his voice trembled.

“That’s right, Māhealani. I’m right here.” I smiled.

“What are you doing here?”

“Uhhh..” I looked around, “Stiles was questioning but... I think after tonight he’s gotten his answer.” I lied.

After questioning Danny, Scott made his way back to the jeep. I was sitting in the back, looking back at a very naked Jackson who they had found in the back of the club; naked and covered in blood and black goo.

“Couldn't get anything outta Danny." He said.

“Okay, can we just get the hell out of here now, before one of my dad's deputies sees me?” Stiles said anxiously. Stiles started the Jeep, but a police cruiser pulled in front of the Jeep, keeping us from our escape.

“...Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Could this get any worse?” Stiles groaned. Suddenly, Jackson groaned and sat up.

“That was rhetorical!” Stiles sighed. We turned back towards the cop car. Scott pointed to the car, “Get rid of him.”

“Get rid of him? We're at a crime scene, and he's the Sheriff!” Stiles said anxiously.

“Shit.” I ducked down, realizing that if Uncle Noah saw me, it was going to be even more awkward.

“Do something!” Scott motioned with his arms. Stiles fumbled with the door handle and got out.

Jackson sat up in the back, “Wha-...What’s going on?” I pushed him back down.

“Jackson. Jackson, be quiet.” Scott said urgently. He looked towards Stiles, then back to me.

“Why didn’t you get out with Stiles?”

“We’re not attached at the hip, ya know.” I avoided the question.

“You know what I mean.”

I sighed, chewing on the inside of my cheek, “I got into a fight with his dad. I told him that he wasn’t my dad and to stop acting like it.”

“A little harsh.” He titled his head.

“I am aware of that-” Jackson tried to sit up again.

“What’s going on?” He groaned, holding his head.

“I’m sorry, Jackson.” He punched Jackson in the jaw, sending him back down.

“Ow.” Scott winced, waving his hand.

“Don’t be sorry. I’ve been wanting to do that this entire year.” I grinned, a little impressed.

Stiles came back shortly, not saying a word as he started Roscoe and drove out of the parking lot.

“What’d you tell him?” I asked, leaning between the seats.

“I told him we took Danny clubbing because of Damon.” He sighed.

“Excellent.”

Stiles and Scott dropped me off at Scott’s house so I could get to my car and drive it back to the railroad depot. I needed to talk to Derek about what had happened tonight, if he missed it that was. He seemed to disappear after we split up.

I need to apologize. But he also needed to explain himself. What if he had gotten to Lydia that night and killed her, what did he think I would do, accept that, especially since he was wrong? I got inside, I went up to Derek’s room. He was lounging on his bed, looking at the photos. He looked up from the photos, avoiding my gaze.

“Derek, I’m sorry that I was trying to distract you... But I didn’t know what else I could do to stop you from killing Lydia.” I walked in, sitting on the edge of the bed, “I don’t know why she failed your test either, she must be... I don’t know, immune or something else that is immune.”

“You’re right, okay? I should have trusted your instincts.” He said, setting the pictures on the bed in front of him. I moved closer, looking at them again. He had the pictures of us together. There were three teens in the picture. Me, another girl, and Derek. She had long, dark brown hair, kind brown eyes with a very distinct beauty mark under her right eye. Flashes of her face filled my mind, smiling, laughing.

“Wait... Do I know her?” I picked up the picture, “I do know her.... That’s Paige.” Derek’s emotions rose higher: guilt and sadness. Looking back at him, I saw his face. He looked so broken.

“Derek, what’s wrong? Did something happen to Paige?” I asked. He leaned back against the wall.

“You were friends. She was my girlfriend.” He sighed, “She was bitten by another alpha. And she was rejecting the change. I killed her to put her out of her misery.”

“Der...” I reached out, putting a hand on his knee. Derek sat up quickly, moving the pictures onto a box next to his bed. He pulled me closer, hugging me close to him. He rested his head against my shoulder, breathing deeply. I sighed, lightly brushing my fingers over his knuckles. Derek was followed by tragedy, plagued by guilt and fear.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“It’s fine, you didn’t remember.”

“Not about Paige, about everything. I just wished I could remember so I could help you more. It isn’t fair that you’re going through all of this by yourself.”

“I’m not alone.” He picked his head up off my shoulder. He brought his hand up, turning my head so I could see his eyes, “I have you. And that’s all I need.” My lips pulled up in a smile, turning so I was kneeling between his legs.

“I love you.” The words fell off my lips like they had always been there.

He grinned, “I love you.” His lips brushed against mine with every syllable. He pressed his lips to mine.

--------------------------

Read part 16 here!

This one is a little shorter because... There really is no reason, it be like that sometimes.

Likes, Reblogs, and Comments are appreciated!

Message me or comment below to be added to the taglist!

YSM Tag:

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#derek hale x reader #derek hale fic #teen wolf x reader #teen wolf fic

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luminous-shifting-vibes · 3 years

Text

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

#tw drugs #tw swearing #tw cannibalism #tw crime #tw food #tw homophobia #shitpost #out of context #out of context quotes #lumi's quotes

34 notes · View notes

ayoalex · 4 years

Text

No one asked but head canon that I have for some of the characters that shouldn't be a thing and I hope it never becomes canon.

Ruby:

- She's just a lamp at this point, it's good for practice tho

- Absolutely tried to adopted a Beowolf at one point in V4/V5 until Qrow made her stop.

- She can cook... Kinda she just know the basics. The only thing she knows to bake is cookies, like that's it.

- She listen to rock but her favorite band is One Direction.

- She may have cut herself way to many times while cleaning or maintaining Crescent Rose, she's still sad she didn't even got a cool scar put of it because of her aura.

- She once tried to cut her own hair in V4 and then gave up and just decided to wait till some actual decent hairdresser could do it for her.

- She doesn't know how to pronounce correctly some stuffs so she just call them "thingy"

- Tried to dyed her hair all red like Gerard Way... Yang didn't let her touch any hair products for 5y.

Weiss:

- Doesn't know how to drive a bicycle and at this point of her life she's just afraid of asking.

- "I don't cook, I don't clean"

- Later Yang taught her how to clean, so at least the dorm isn't as much of a disaster.

- "Yes I have a scar in my eye, no I'm not blind"

- The only fiction book she actually read was Sailor Moon manga and that's why she uses combat skirts.

- Her favorite character is Sailor Venus

- Ruby once showed her the anime and she just cried, cuz "goddamit there's way to many episodes Ruby".

- She fights everyone just for shit and giggles, she just enjoy the drama.

- She knows how to play the kazoo for some strange reason.

Blake:

- She will never tell anyone but she onced read an hentai by accident at the age of 12 and since then she has a phobia of tentacles.

- Is a bad influence... Specially to Ruby.

- She once skipped an entire day of classes because she was sleepy, Weiss was really mad at her.

- "Men, I wish I had the money to buy that" Proceeds to hack the system so the company sends her shit for free

- Yang has to tell her she can't just continue doing illegal shits now that's she's at school and out of the White Fang.

- Sometimes she just look directly at Weiss eyes and just break some shits to make her upset.

- "Blake, isn't your abdomen too exposed on battle?" "I want them to know I'm hotter than them Illia"

- "High boots? Check. Skinny pants? Check. Fat ass? Check. Ok I'm ready to fuck shit up"

Yang:

- She loves every type of music but she only knows how to twerk with classic music.

- Knows every word of "Bet on it".

- Used to watch Turtle Ninjas and Michelangelo is her favorite.

- The hot lesbian weeb, geek, nerd and jock everyone loves.

- For some reason she knows ton shit of History and Philosophy.

- She once made an essay about High School Musical named "Sharpay Evans was the real victim."

- She is a fanatic of car/bike video games like Need for Speed, etc

- Absolutely loves GTA and she used to play with Velvet and Blake all the time in Beacon

- She and Nora once went outside on a stormy day to see if by Nora activating her semblance she could electrocuted Yang so she could activate her own semblance... It strangely worked.

- She can't really cook but she's an amazing baker... Tho she only bakes on Ruby's birthday

- She has a whole archives of blueprint of some motors, cars, bikes, weapons, etc.

- Yang and Blake just used to go to clubs or bars to bet money on some dudes in pool and blackjack knowing damn well Blake was an expert on both.

- Yang knows different instruments, her favorite song to play is the Wii Sports song

Jaune:

- He loves romantic movies, The Notebook always makes him cry

- He learned to play guitar to impress girls to make him look like a tough guy, now he just play acoustic covers of Britney Spears discography.

- Circus is a personal favorite of him.

- He knows how to dance, used to do ballet with his sisters and once a boyfriend of one of his sisters taught him hiphop

- Has a teddy bear that he brings everywhere with him.

Nora:

- Fav food is pancakes but she absolutely loves eating pizza

- She always gives strange ideas to Yang since she knows Yang is a closet nerd and geek.

- She saw Pokemon once and since then have tried to imitate Pikachu attacks.

- Power Ranger is her shit.

- Hot girl shit

- If Ruby is a lamp, then she's a charger.

Ren:

- He did tried to dyed his hair pink but didn't like the result so decided for just a part of his hair pink.

- Everyone things he's the normal one of the group until you listen to him in a deep discussion with Weiss about Sailor Moon.

- Him and Blake casually bond once because of tea and now they just recommend each other new teas they have tried.

- He absolutely loves cartoons, Samurai Jack is one of his fav.

- The emo kid that is also a sunshine.

Oscar:

- "I cook and I clean"

- He just think Yang is cool and it doesn't matter how much Weiss tries to make him stop thinking that Ruby just tells some cool story about Yang.

- "Sir, they are my found family, can you please take me back to them?"

- Loves talking with Blake, she's always giving him books recommendations and she's one of the few that don't strictly treat him like a kid.

- He tried playing video games with Ruby... Let just say he prefers spending time with Ren now.

- Knows every word of Short King Anthem, he sings the chorus while Weiss and Nora rap the other 2 verses.

- He watch Love Island religiously and even has the game in his scroll.

Bonus:

- Sun made a GC with only Illia and Yang on it so they could talk about Blake but he forgot they don't have international communications anymore.

- Coco and Yang and Blake used to go to the same gay bar.

- Summer used to curse when playing video games with Qrow and one day Ruby heard her. Since Ruby could barely talk she didn't cared until at dinner Ruby said "Fuck" In her tiny baby voice and that's the first word Ruby said... Also Qrow was banned of playing video games with the girls in the same room because Summer blamed him.

- Phyrra was a musical fanatic that she and Yang just watched a musical every Sunday.

#rwby #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #jaune arc #phyrra nikos #nora valkyrie #lie ren #oscar pine #summer rose #qrow branwen #sun wukong #illia amitola

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random-imagines-blog · 4 years

Text

Promise Me Part 2 {Reggie Mantle x Reader}

Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 2244 Summary: Some people aren’t taking the kindest to your budding relationship. Sequel to Promise Me, Part 1 Found Here (X)

The only thing better than hanging out with Reggie at school was the reactions from the other students. Especially your ex boyfriend Sweet Pea. Karma came around and knocked him off of his ass, just as you were hoping. Her summer fling, Josie, had dumped him for Archie Andrews, just the way that he had dumped you for her. A petty side of you was happy about that. He deserved it. He got to be grumpy around the halls of Riverdale High while you walked around with Reggie following you like some kind of lovesick puppy. After you had taken him out for his birthday, showed him a good time with a bunch of drag Queens and sugary alcohol-free drinks, he’d taken to you even more. Didn’t even complain when he had to ride bitch on the back of your motorcycle back to your snug little town.

“Are you ready for the test today?” Reggie asked, somewhat sarcastically. You had been blowing him off lately to study for this exam. You really needed to do well on it to pass this class, since you had been just cruising through it instead of trying. It was now or never.

You took your study notes out of your pocket, where they had been crumpled up for a couple of hours, and slammed them down on the cafeteria table. “You have no idea how ready I am, Mantle.” You said with a smirk. You flattered out the pieces of paper and went right back to studying them while Reggie sat beside you and made sure that your hair didn’t get into your food. You were eating without paying attention, and if he hadn’t stepped in, you probably would have eaten a lock or two. You were appreciative of it, but never knew how to show that sort of thing.

You never thought that this would have worked out. Reggie, with his range of emotions - most of them fueled by negativity, like jealousy and arrogance but once in a while, he showed you something nice. Meanwhile, your brother Jughead had once complained that you had the emotional range of a knife. But yet there was something between you two. Something more than you had ever felt with Sweet Pea. This in no way felt like a relationship out of convenience.

“When you pass, I’ll take you out to Pop’s, we’ll get milkshakes,” Reggie said, clipping your hair back for the upteenth time.

“Yay, another milkshake,” You said, deadpan as always. “We always go for milkshakes, Reg, I think that this deserves something a little more special. What about our secret place?”

“What, you showed him your stupid secret place?”A voice came from behind you. You didn’t have to turn around to know that it was Sweet Pea. Now that he didn’t have Josie to focus on, his attention had been on you again. Love notes, flowers, trying to sit next to you in class. You had told him to fuck off so many times, it might as well have become your catchphrase. But there he was, always there, right out of the corner of your eye, listening to everything that you were saying. “I’ve known you forever and you never took me there.”

“Guess you just weren’t special enough,” You said with a shrug. You got to your feet, shoved your notes back into your pocket and smiled rarely at Reggie. “Come on, walk to me class.”

“Yes ma’am,” Reggie said with a smirk, getting to his feet. He purposefully pushed past your ex boyfriend as he followed behind you, neither of you looking back. The Serpent wasn’t worth it. That was something you had come to learn and fully believed.

You wore the top that your mother had gotten you and sent in the mail. It was plain, but flowy, and didn’t have the leather look that you had come to be known for. All black t-shirts and jackets, comfortable things. But this was a special night - even to the point where you were allowing Reggie to pick you up in his car. This shirt was a dark purple color, not quite black, but still enough to where you felt yourself while wearing it.

There was a honking noise outside the trailer. You still had never let him come inside. You weren’t ashamed of the little home that you shared with your dad and your brother, but you also didn’t want to see the look of distaste that Reggie would no doubt have on his face.

With a last glimpse in the mirror, strange how feminine you looked today, you left the trailer and walked over to the car that didn’t look like it belonged in this neighborhood at all. It was too nice. And too clean. People were no doubt peeking out their windows to see who were there and who they were there for. With your usual level of confidence, you strode to the car and got inside, only to be greeted by a huge smile and an arm around your hug from Reggie Mantle. “ONE HUNDRED BABY!”

Yes, you had gotten a hundred percent on your test. That was the main reason why you were letting Reggie drive. Because you were so damn excited, that you might try to bribe one of the bartenders to put a shot into your drink. No one really messed with the gay bar, so cops were unlikely to show up. It was hard to ID people when they were dressed as the opposite gender, anyhow. “It’s not that big of a deal,” You said, shrugging his arm off and put on the seatbelt. What an unfamiliar feeling. You spent more time on bikes than you ever did in cars, and those did not come with seatbelts.

“You’re allowed to be happy and excited for things you know,” He said, his smile slightly faltering. “It’s just us. And I’ve seen you happy before.”

“It’s just embarrassing,” You muttered, sinking into the seat. “Having ... feelings.”

Reggie took that as a huge compliment, and it helped to boost his ego. “So you have feelings for me, eh?” He asked with a huge grin.

“Oh stop,” You said, rolling your eyes. “Is it such a surprise that beneath this hard exterior is just soft, pink flesh? I am still human, after all.”

“A bit,” Reggie said with a shrug, focusing his eyes on the row as he tried to find his way out of the trailer park. The streets were thin and like a maze. “You just hide them so well, it’s hard to tell you have any.”

“I wouldn’t be hanging out with you if I didn’t, you dolt.” You sunk into the comfortable leather seats of the car, letting yourself relax now that you were leaving the park. You still had to give him directions to the gay bar, but he was getting the hang of the journey. “People just suck. They break down your walls, just to hurt you so you have to build them back up and stronger. I don’t like being vulnerable.”

“People are assholes,” Reggie agreed, thinking of his on again off again thing with Veronica. He hadn’t thought much about it since you had come into his life, actually.

Rather than get into more conversations about emotions, you turned up the music and rolled down the window, sticking your head out. “Fuck standardized testing!” You yelled out as you drove past the school. Reggie laughed at that, wondering how you could go from steady as a rock to being this free and liberated within a matter of seconds. He’d never met anyone like you before. Never met anyone who truly did not give a fuck about what other people thought of them.

The bar was busy tonight. Friday nights usually were, but there wasn’t a single person there who you recognized from Riverdale. It would be hard for any of them to get in, considering you and Reggie were the only ones that were allowed in under age. Only when you weren’t around the judgmental looks of your peers did you really feel like you could be yourself. You didn’t care what other people said, it was just the fact that they were saying anything that bothered you.

You ordered more of the virgin cocktails that you liked so much, so syrupy sweet. You drained the first one quickly, and felt the sugar remaining in your system. “Dance with me,” You said to Reggie, holding your hand out to him. And he did. He came out onto the dance floor with you and the dressed up Queens and made sure that you had a damn good time.

So good a time that you didn’t notice that there was a familiar face in the crowd. And hand that was connected to the body that was connected to that face had his phone out and was recording video.

“Did you hear that they go to gay bars together?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if y/n was a lesbian. I wouldn’t want to date a guy again if he did what Sweet Pea did-”

“Reggie’s dad is going to kill him.”

“A hidden drag Queen?”

The words followed you and Reggie around the next morning as you met at your locker and he walked you to your class, just as he always did. His jaw was clenched, a vein popping in his forehead. You understood his anger - his dad would really would get pissed off about this sort of thing. You had heard the rumors. And you had seen the bruises that Reggie refused to talk about, but you never pushed the issue.

It was pushing at your own anger issues as well. You didn’t like this sort of attention - why the hell couldn’t Cheryl do something daring to get the attention onto her, the way she liked it? Burn down her house again or something. You’d give her all your money to do that at this point.

The most amazing thing though, was despite all of these looks and the rumors and the jokes, Reggie stood by your side. He picked you up from your first class, and took you to your second. And then he picked you up from there and took you to lunch. His shoulders were more tense than they usually were, and he had started to grind his teeth. Something would have to be done before both of you exploded.

Everyones eyes were on you when you stepped into the cafeteria. Even your brother’s, though they looked hurt - you never even told him about your special place. Sweet Pea, sitting beside Jughead, looked pissed. You stopped before you got in line, and Reggie bumped into you from behind. You turned around to face him, looking up into his dark eyes. You were always astounded by the sharp jawline that he had, and those cheekbones - he was a fuckin’ hunk.

“I’m bisexual, not a lesbian,” You said, loud enough for everyone to hear. “Not that it’s anyone’s fucking business. And if you’re that damn concerned about Reggie, well...”

You had to stand on your tiptoes because he was so tall. You leaned against him, pressing his chest against yours, using him to steady yourself. You wrapped your arms around his neck and brought him in for a kiss that should ease any doubt in anyone’s mind.

There was a pounding sound on the edge of the room that made you startle yourself out of the bliss that Reggie’s lips had blossomed in you. Expecting it to be a teacher, you turned around, only to see Sweet Pea was raging his way towards you, the chair that he was sitting in pushed to the ground. You turned around, straightening your shoulders, ready to get into a fight with your ex-boyfriend if this was how it was going to end up. You weren’t about to let Reggie defend you, that’s not the sort of girl that you were.

“You don’t deserve her, Mantle,” Sweet Pea sneered, his nostrils flaring.

“Neither did you,” Reggie said in return. He put his arm around your waist, and you could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Get over yourself, Sweet Pea,” You said, not liking the way that they were talking as if you weren’t even there. “So what, Kevin Keller takes a video of us dancing and that, for some reason, is all of your business? I’ll be the first to admit that we aren’t as interesting as you seem to think that we are. You really want something to focus on in that video? Learn some style from those Queens, you boring peasants.”

Reggie laughed for the first time that day at your comments. You leaned back against his chest, motioning for him to back up. “Let’s go to Pop’s,” He suggested.

“Anywhere that’s not here,” You said, exchanging his arm for his hand, holding it tight as you left the cafeteria, leaving even more gossip behind you but at least it was about the kiss rather than rumors of you both being gay.

Fuck the high school rumor mill.

#Reggie Mantle #Reggie Mantle oneshot #Reggie Mantle x reader #Riverdale #Riverdale oneshots #oneshot #oneshots #reggiem #request

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woman-loving · 4 years

Text

The Emergence of a Lesbian Bar Scene in 1960s Sydney

Selection from Unnamed Desires: A Sydney Lesbian History, Rebecca Jennings, 2015.

In addition to these social groups, lesbians were also beginning to join a much longer-standing gay male bar culture in significant numbers, reflecting a broader social acceptance of women and public drinking in the wake of reforms to the licensing laws in the late 1950s. Male narrators recall seeing lesbians on the commercial scene for the first time in the early 1960s, and lesbian narrators begin to discuss their participation in the bar scene from the 1960s onwards.[28] Lesbians socialised alongside homosexual men and drag queens in venues such as Chez Ivy wine bar in Bondi Junction and the Purple Onion coffee shop on Anzac Parade. Virginia, who first visited Chez Ivy and the Purple Onion in the early 1960s, went out on the scene in a group of male and female camp friends and remembers that: ‘It was very mixed. I hardly went anywhere where it was just for women. I think the women’s thing came later, yeah, the segregation side of it.’ She spent these nights out drinking gin and tonic, talking to her friends and dancing the twist, as well as enjoying the drag shows that were put on at the Purple Onion and Les Girls.[29] When Carolyn began to frequent Chez Ivy in the late 1960s she also remembered the clientele as very diverse:

“Chez Ivy’s was home to guys, girls, drag, bi, crossdressers and straights--I felt comfortable in this group and I would look forward to hitting ‘the Club’ each night and weekend ... The cat fights and tantrums were ongoing--this added to the fun of the night and drama. We had parents looking for sons and daughters, bomb threats, vice squad raids, scuffles with ex-lovers--but it was fun!"[30]

Chez Ivy closed at 10pm, but many revellers continue their night out at coffee shops such as Doddy’s on Darlinghurst Road and the Coffee Pot in Kings Cross, or at cabaret clubs such as Les Girls or the Purple Onion.

This picture of the 1960s as a period of transition from a predominantly male to a mixed camp scene is supported by accounts which suggest that lesbians, as newcomers, were not always entirely welcome at Sydney’s camp venues in this period. One reason for this attitude may have been the behaviour and image projected by some bar lesbians: a number of interviewees recall Sydney’s bar lesbians as being quite ‘tough’ or ‘rough’ in this period, in contrast to the more flamboyant drag culture cultivated by camp men. Lesbians were widely regarded as being prone to fighting and causing difficulty in bars with their behaviour. [...]

Although the majority of venues were mixed in the 1960s, lesbians increasingly made up most of the clientele at a few bars: the Trolley Car near Sydney University, the Sussex Hotel on Sussex Street in the City and the Park Inn opposite Centennial Park. Dennis worked at the Trolley Car, owned by Dawn O’Donnell, when it opened in 1966 and recalled the venue as a ‘long, old terraced house’ with a licensed bar downstairs until 10pm and an upstairs room which continued to operate illicitly after official closing time. The venue was popular with lesbians[...]. A significant lesbian clientele also mixed with drag queens at the Park Inn in this period. Karen went to the Park Inn in the late 1960s and recalled that ‘The majority that went there were women.’[35] Laurie, who had gone there for the first time in the 1960s with her girlfriend Helena and two new friends, also remembered:

“I walked in there and it was like seventh heaven. It was full of lesbians from wall to carpet to wall you know? And drag queens. I saw my first drag show there and that was it for me ... We went there every Friday night to Saturday night for the next ten, fifteen years I think?’”[36]

A number of the women who socialised in these venues adopted masculine dress codes and identities. Laurie recalled that all the lesbians at the Park Inn were ‘butch and femme. Three piece suits, cufflinks, ties, the whole bit.’ Laurie herself was introduced to this butch/femme scene by some lesbian friends, who took her clothes shopping in the men’s department of Grace Bros and then to get her hair cut into a ‘short back and sides’ before escorting her to the bar. Her girlfriend, Helene, retained her feminine dress and appearance, as she was adopting a femme identity. Margaret also described the masculine appearance of the other women clientele when she first discovered a camp venue in the 1960s. [...]

For some women, adopting a butch appearance meant potentially passing as a man. Colette recalled experiencing some confusion on her first encounter with a butch lesbian in the early 1960s:

“In 1964/65 I said to my sister, ‘We have to find some lesbians’ ... the only gay place at that time was a place called the ‘Hole in the Wall’, literally a brick circle had been made in the wall ... it was dark inside. It was in Kings Cross in the vicinity of St Vincent’s hospital. It was fully of very interesting people and after about an hour I noticed this very attractive blond boy, there was just something about him, and he obviously noticed me because he came over and spoke and her turned out to be a woman in fully drag so this was terribly exciting for me ... she looked like a boy but she was a girl, this was exactly what I was looking for. So we went home together and it was off with the frock for me and she unstrapped and stripped down to a t-shirt.”[38]

Colette’s reference to the girl unstrapping suggests that some butch lesbians in this period were binding their breasts in order to adopt a more masculine physique, in addition to wearing male clothes.[39] Some of the lesbians who frequented Ivy Richter’s venues in the 1960s were similarly capable of passing as young men. Ivy recalled one occasion on which gender ambiguity led to an altercation between one of her lesbian clients and a member of the licensing police. [...]

The extent to which femme women were a part of the Sydney scene in this period is more difficult to determine. While a small number of accounts refer to butch/femme partnerships and communities, many focus primarily on butch lesbians, suggesting that butch identities predominated. It is also possible that many femme partners of butch lesbians occupied a more transient position in the lesbian social circles of this period and were therefore less visible. Davis and Kennedy noted that, in the butch/femme community they documents in 1940s and 1950s Buffalo, ‘many fems ... became butch, others went straight, and others claimed to be too shy to be interviewed.’[41] A similar picture emerges in Sydney. In her account of a casual encounter with a butch lesbian at the Hole in the Wall in Kings Cross in the 1960s, Colette describes herself as removing her ‘frock’, suggesting that her own appearance was more feminine than that of her butch partner. Colette herself was a newcomer to the bar on this occasion and implied that she was not part of any coherent lesbian community at the time. Accounts of the Park Inn hotel in this period also suggest that the predominantly butch lesbian clientele mixed with other women as well as drag queens. Laurie, who had gone there for the first time in the 1960s, recalled that women of all classes mixed there and ‘there was one table that was reserved permanently for when the prostitutes came in, from Kings Cross, and they were all gay.’[42] The hotel owner, Ken (Kandy) Johnson, claimed that nurses made up a significant group amongst the more butch regulars and remembered one occasion on which he had received a call from the local hospital, attempting to locate one of their nurses, who was needed to assist on an operation. [...] Kandy’s account of this exchange suggests that camp women who identified as butch--wearing men’s suits and short hair--may have interacted with more feminine prostitutes in his bar. Whether or not some of the prostitutes had sexual relationships with women, Kandy’s account suggests that others may not have immediately identified them as camp, defining them instead primarily as ‘prostitutes’. How the women themselves defined their sexual identity, if at all, is even more elusive, in the absence of accounts by femme participants in this scene.

The possibility that femme identities may not have been clearly identified as lesbian identity model is also suggested by Elizabeth’s account of roles in her suburban social circle. Unlike the majority of women socialising in private friendship networks in the mid-century, who describe their roles and appearance as conforming to mainstream ideals of respectable femininity, Elizabeth recalled her private house party scene in the late 1960s as organised around a restrictive form of gender role-playing. [...] Despite her partner’s expectation that she adopt a feminine appearance, however, Elizabeth does not appear to have developed a clearly defined femme identity. Explaining the relationship between their respective roles, Elizabeth was unsure of the term for a feminine partner, commenting:

“You were a butch lesbian or you were a, whatever, I don’t know what you call it, but anyway, you were one or the other and that’s how it worked and I thought that makes sense.”[45]

Elizabeth’s ambivalence toward her femme identity was also apparently reflected by those around her, as she recalled attracting criticism of her appearance from a woman at a party. The woman commented that Elizabeth shouldn’t ‘think you can fool us wearing that dress’, suggesting that she regarded the adoption of a feminine appearance as an attempt to hide a lesbian identity. This account suggests that feminine lesbians may have been viewed with distrust in some Sydney lesbian circles, and perhaps not regarded as having an important or valued role in that community.

Other accounts, however, suggest that both butch and femme identities were consciously adopted by some women as an indication of membership in a lesbian community. Laurie had been introduced to the butch/femme scene when she moved from Perth to Sydney in the 1960s and she she and her girlfriend Helene adopted butch and femme identities respectively. [...] After introducing them to butch/femme fashion, June and her girlfriend Karen took Laurie and Helen to their local bar and the new arrivals soon became regulars. Descriptions such as Laurie’s are reminiscent of postwar butch/femme lesbians in the US and UK, where the commercial bar scene fostered a highly nuanced subculture based around butch/femme role-playing, and new entrants to the community were expected to adopt either a butch or femme style and behaviour. This was often a highly conscious process in which new members chose an identity and experienced a rite of passage in which they adapted their image to fit the new identity. For Laurie, the decision to become a butch was taken by her new butch friend, June, on the basis that Laurie was a better pool player than Helene. [...]

Personal narrative such as Laurie’s suggest that, while a number of lesbian identity models in the 1960s were characterised by an emphasis on secrecy and discretion, others, such as butch/femme, were highly visible and confrontational. Butch/femme lesbians, like Laurie and Helen, forged their identities in social spaces which they shared with prostitutes, gay men and drag queens and as a result they understood their lesbianism within a broad, cross-gendered community of sexual minorities. Similarly, the shared nature of the camp social scene in the 1960s, meant that many more discreet lesbians in this period also defined their identity alongside gay men, in terms of a shared attempt to evade detection by mainstream society.

However, despite the presence of consciously butch women on the commercial lesbian scene in the 1960s, butch/femme did not represent a pervasive subculture in the Sydney camp bar scene in the manner described by historians of US lesbian subcultures. Oral history accounts suggest instead that butch lesbians coexisted with women of more conventional appearance, often sharing the same social spaces. This reflects the situation in Melbourne in the same period, where Lucy Chesser has found that:

“while there were sizeable lesbian social groups which organised around role playing in Melbourne in this period alternative models of lesbian relationship were often avialable to women from working class backgrounds ... In addition, butch/femme role playing appears to have deceased in importance as the 1960s progressed.”[48]

In Sydney, other lesbians who socialised both within and outside of the bar scene in the 1960s do not recall the early scene as a butch/femme culture and did not themselves adopt either a butch or femme identity. Virginia did not recall a butch/femme scene at Chez Ivy and the Purple Onion in the early 1960s, although she conceded that ‘some of them probably were pretty butch’, while Carolyn described Chez Ivy’s lesbian clientele as a relatively diverse culture group.[49] The fluidity of lesbian dress and identity on the commercial camp scene in Sydney in the 1960s reflects the predominance of small, private networks in the preceding decades and indicates the absence of a long-standing and developed subculture in the bars of this period.

Moreover, the ways in which women made use of the new pubic spaces becoming available to them continued to be shaped by private networks and patterns of socialising. Both the bar scene and the camp social groups in the 1960s were relatively secretive and enclosed, making it difficult for outsiders or the authorities to identify them. In the absence of any homosexual press, bars and clubs did not advertise and only a few individuals were lucky enough to stumble across them by accident. The mainstream press could occasionally give a hint but most women were introduced to the camp scene by friends from elsewhere.[50] Virginia first visited camp bars with friends from a North Shore ballroom dancing club she belonged to, and Karen began socialising with lesbians she met at a hockey club in the late 1960s. Carolyn and her girlfriend were first introduced to Chez Ivy by a lesbian couple they met by chance on holiday in the Central Coast.[51] The enclosed nature of the scene in this period also lent a secretive atmosphere to socialising, which some women remembered as exciting. [...] Lucy Chesser argues that the sense of belonging to a secretive lesbian subculture in this period played an important role in affirming women’s lesbian identities and giving women a sense of pride in escaping detection.[53]

Friendship circles continued to be important, not only introducing women to venues, but in the ways in which individual lesbians made use of the spaces available to them. Unlike the pattern of socialising in London’s lesbian venues in the 1960s, where each bar or club possessed it own community of regular clientele with specific behavioural codes and identities, venues seem to have played a less important role in shaping identity on the Sydney scene. Women moved more freely from one venue to another, but as groups rather than individuals. [...] In this sense, the commercial camp scene which emerged for lesbians in the 1960s reflected earlier patterns of socialising in the city. Women continued to structure their social networks around small, private circles of friends and simply extended the location of their social activities as new spaces became available to them. Sydney’s lesbian socialising in the 1960s was defined by one’s circle of friends, rather than a regular haunt, and as a result women moved easily between the social spaces available to them.

#lgbtq #lgbtq history #lesbian history #bisexual history #butch femme #australia #australian lgbtq history #sydney

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demigodreading · 3 years

Text

WSVU Day 2

Characters: Willow, Olivia Benson, Fin

Theme: First Kiss

Warnings: This is my least favorite one that I have for this week. It just was not anything like I had originally wanted it to be. Horrible Fluff, Undercover Mission

Relationships: Olivia Benson x Willow Olivia Benson x Original Character

Summary: Original Character, Willow, and Olivia Benson are thrown into an undercover operation at a lesbian bar. Olivia reveals her true feelings for Willow and they end up in bed together.

#WSVU WEEK

Secrets Out

Willow was still relatively new to the SVU squad when she was placed undercover with Olivia to try and lure out a perpetrator from a local gay bar. He was known for following out lesbian couples back to their apartments. Once there he would tie one up while he forced the other one to have sex with him. If they did not follow his exact orders he would beat and cut the one that he had tied up. Three lesbian couples had been attacked but they were no closer to finding out who he was. He was careful and seemed to go unnoticed by everyone else in the bar. Before it got any worse Cragen decided to send his only two female detectives undercover to lure him out.

Willow and Olivia were close friends by the time they heard the details of the undercover operation. They had bonded over being the only two female detectives and would often work out together after work. Rock climbing was what Willow enjoyed the most because of the rush that she always got when she reached the top. Olivia however enjoyed runs through central park. She loved feeling the breeze on her face and being outdoors instead of stuffed indoors all day. Lately, they had been doing more than just working out together. Short conversations after workouts had turned into dinners. Dinners had turned into movie nights. Movie nights had turned into the occasional sleepovers when Willow had fallen asleep on Olivia’s couch during the movie.

During these sleepovers, Olivia would tuck a blanket around Willow making sure she wouldn’t get cold in the night. Sometimes Olivia would even sneak a soft forehead kiss just light enough that Willow would barely stir. It was nice having someone in the apartment to make the long dark nights seem a little more manageable. Plus Willow always seemed to know how to make Olivia smile when she felt like drowning herself in a wine bottle. She was falling for the other woman rookie detective and she only could hope that the same feelings were had by Willow.

Olivia had finally mustered up the courage to ask Willow on a proper date when their undercover plan launched for that same night. Willow and Olivia were released to go home and get ready. The plan was that they would meet at Willow’s apartment and then head to the bar from there because she was closer. They would hang out at the bar for awhile flirting and trying to lure the man to follow them home that night. Fin would be working as security at the bar while Munch, Cragen, and Elliot would be out in the van in case the woman needed back up.

Olivia and Willow gathered their stuff and headed to the elevator together to prepare for the events of tonight. When they reached the bottom floor Olivia looked at Willow. She was wringing her hands out nervously searching through her purse for her keys mumbling curse words.

“Willow,” Olivia said, grabbing Willow’s hand, “Are you okay?”

Willow seemed to calm under the touch of Olivia, “Never been undercover before. I don’t want to mess it up.”

“You are going to do great. This is going to be easy,” Olivia smiled squeezing Willow’s hand, “Just imagine tonight as another one of our girl’s night. Another day of hanging out and just having fun.”

“We are going to have to do more than just hanging out tonight if we want to catch the guy Liv.”

“Would that really be so bad?” Olivia replied nonchalantly giving Willow a quick kiss on the cheek, “I’ll see you at your place at 6.”

Before Willow could respond Olivia was rushing out the door. Willow placed her hand gently on her cheek where she could still feel Olivia’s kiss burning against it. Did Olivia really just say that them going on a flirty date wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world? That was something Willow had dreamed about since the first day she had laid eyes on Liv. This however was definitely not the way that she had ever planned their first date to be. Undercover putting their life on the line to try and find a serial killer.

An hour later there was a knock on Willow’s apartment door. She had just finished getting ready, her hair still slightly wet from her shower. She was in a tight red dress that dipped down low into her cleavage. The back of the dress was mostly open with thin straps criss crossing to keep the fabric together. She had on tall black heels and to complete the look some dark red lipstick. She hadn’t been this dressed up since she had gone on her last date with her ex-girlfriend when she had first started at SVU. When she opened the door to find Olivia standing in with a bouquet of red roses.

Willow smiled, opening the door up for Olivia to step inside. Olivia has had her burgundy hair down like she always did but it was the shirt that really caught Willow’s attention. It was a tight black tank top that had a crisscrossed front that showed off Olivia’s cleavage perfectly. Around the tank top, she had a black leather jack pulled on that complimented her ripped black jeans. She had black boots with a small heel pulled on that kept her a couple of inches taller than Willow.

Olivia handed the roses to Willow, “You look stunning Willow.”

Willow felt her cheeks turn a bright red and she went to find a vase for the flowers, “I could say the same thing about you Liv. You look gorgeous. Thank you for the flowers by the way.”

“Of course, pretty girls deserve pretty flowers on their date,” Liv smiled.

“So you were serious about what you said earlier?”

It was Olivia’s turn to turn bright red, “I was going to ask you out before we go put on this assignment. I had been trying to work up the nerve all day but the captain really ruined my thunder.”

“Well, just so you know. I would have said yes,” Willow smiled taking Olivia’s hand in hers.

“Good to know,” Olivia said squeezing Willow’s hand, “What about after tonight we can go on a date where all of our coworkers won’t be keeping an eye on us.”

Willow let out a tiny groan, “I forgot they would be there tonight.”

“Don’t think too much about it Willow,” Olivia said pulling her to the door, “Like I said tonight is all about having a little fun.”

They arrived at the bar twenty minutes later grabbing each other’s hands as they stepped out of the cab. Munch and Elliot watched as the two women approached the back of the line. Olivia wrapped her arm securely around Willow’s waist holding her close as they waited to get closer to the bar. When they got to the front Fin quickly checked their IDs and they ushered them inside. The bar was packed and Willow clung to Olivia as she pushed through the crowd to find two empty seats at the bar.

They needed to be out in the open enough to attract the attention of the man they were looking for. Olivia and Willow sat close together as Olivia ordered drinks for the both of them. Olivia kept her hand high on Willow’s thigh causing a slight shiver to come down Willow’s spine. When their drinks arrived Willow took a big gulp out of it downing it with one breath. She immediately ordered another one as Olivia slowly sipped at hers.

“Willow,” Olivia said gently rubbing her thigh, “Take a breath beautiful.”

“I’m sorry Liv,” Willow sighed, “I haven’t been on a date since I broke up with my ex girlfriend. I feel completely out of my element.”

“Just let me take the lead,” Olivia said and leaned into Willow, “I promise I will take good care of you.”

Olivia placed a gentle kiss on Willow’s neck causing a soft moan to escape her lips. Olivia quickly downed her drink and then dragged Willow onto the dance floor. Olivia laced her arms around Willow’s waist pulling her in close. The feeling of Olivia pressed this close to her made Willow almost collapse right then and there. She wrapped her hands around Olivia’s neck as they moved to the movements. One song bled into another and soon everyone else in the room disappeared.

When Willow pulled her head back slightly she made eye contact with Olivia. Before she realized it Olivia’s lips were pressed hard against hers. The feeling was electric as she ran her fingers through Olivia’s hair pulling her even closer. She felt Olivia’s tongue brush over her bottom lip. She opened her mouth slightly allowing Olivia access and moaned into the kiss. As they finally broke for air Olivia noticed Fin trying to catch their attention. Olivia laced her fingers through Willow’s making their way to Fin.

“Hey lovebirds, captain wanted me to tell you both that you are off the hook. They caught the guy following a different couple home. Said that you both could go home for the rest of the night,” Fin said as they all stepped out of the bar.

“Thanks Fin,” Olivia said, offering Willow her jacket as the cold breeze finally hit them, “We will see you in the morning.” He nodded, “Also your secret is safe with me guys.”

Willow and Olivia smiled as they said their final goodbye to Fin. In the cab Olivia and Willow sat as close as they could to each other. They walked up to Willow’s apartment hand in hand. As soon as the door shut Olivia was all over Willow. She was biting gently down her neck as Willow kicked off her heels. In one swift movement Olivia grabbed Willow’s ass pulling her up. Willow immediately wrapped her legs around Olivia’s waist giving directions to the bedroom as Olivia continued to peck down her neck leaving marks that would be dark bruises in the morning.

When they got down to the bedroom Olivia flopped Willow onto the bed. Olivia stripped of her tank top and pants quickly before laying her naked body back on top of Willow. She stopped momentarily looking into Willow’s eyes for wordless consent. Willow nodded her head and kissed gently down Olivia’s neck. Olivia moaned pulling at Willow’s dress. She threw the dress into the pile along with her clothes. They tangled their limbs around each other as they leaned into another kiss.

Olivia kissed down Willow’s neck once again biting right at her pressure point. Willow let out a long moan as Olivia sucked gently making sure Willow would remember this night for days to come. Once she was done Olivia continued to make her way down taking one of Willow’s breasts gently in her mouth. Willow let out a long moan lacing her fingers through Olivia’s short hair. As Olivia worked over her breasts she slipped a hand down between her thighs.

“Already so wet Willow. We haven’t even started,” Olivia said as she gently swiped her finger through Willow’s folds.

Willow let out a whimper, “Olivia please.”

“Please what?”

“Fuck me,” Willow whimpered as Olivia swiped gently over her clit again.

“Well since you asked so nicely,” Olivia smirked and dipped one finger slowly inside of Willow.

Willow opened her legs more so that Olivia was able to insert two fingers inside of her. Willow dragged her nails along Olivia’s back moaning out her name. It was all the encouragement she needed to keep going, setting a frantic pace. She kept her palm against Willow’s clit circling it slowly. It wasn’t long before she felt Willow spasming around her moaning loudly. Olivia kept gently pumping her fingers until Willow had officially ridden out her orgasm.

Willow let out one final gasp as Olivia removed her fingers and sucked off the juices. Once her fingers were clean she placed a gentle kiss on Willow’s forehead. Willow wrapped her arms around Olivia still slightly shaking. Olivia placed her head on Willow’s chest listening to her heart beat. Soon both women fell asleep, their limbs tangled together.

#wsvu week #olivia benson #olivia x original character #olivia benson x original character #undercover #law and order #smut #first kiss

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somestansomewhere · 3 years

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Debbie Gallagher: ALL Love Interests RANKED

Okay! I tried to rank all of Debs’ love interests and it was hard to do because I am not set on that ONE PERSON that I ship her with above all else, but these are my thoughts! Keep in mind that these are all MY OPINIONS and you are entitled to yours as well! Let’s talk about it! If you read all this ILY.

Here we go:

...................................

23. The Guy At The Pool (Season 5)

He thought Debs was special needs and she tried to flirt with him...

22. Kelly (Season 9-10)

I LOVE Kelly so much but she was not into Debbie! I really love her with Carl and Debbie should not have tried to interfere! I will however say that I really really REALLY enjoy their friendship and I wish that that would have continued on. They had some really good moments together.

20/21. Eugene (Season 6) & Board Game Guy (Season 7)

Alright so these two don’t technically count because Frank tried to set Debbie up with Eugene so that she’d be written into his will. And the Board Game Guy was from a deleted scene as one of Debbie’s “life partners” from that flyer she made. So enough said.

18/19. Tyler (Season 6) & Erika (Season 6)

Again, Frank attempted to set Debbie up with Tyler and while that “potential relationship” wasn’t as bad as what happened between her and Erika, I am grouping them together because Debbie wasn’t technically into either of them and it was set up to fail right from the start.

17. Larry (Season 6)

The pregnancy fetish guy! I’m not quite sure what the intentions were for this character in the long run but it was a funny joke in the episode he was in. Even in the beginning Larry gave off red flags, but Debbie was happy... until the truth was revealed. Weird.

16. Jared (Season 11)

Another irrelevant love interest: the gay guy that cheated on his husband with Debbie after giving her cocaine. Obvious issues with this encounter/plot line aside, I did feel that their interactions at the bar were flirtatious and I didn’t hate him.

15. Calista (Season 11)

ANOTHER irrelevant character that was used and never brought back!!! I didn’t totally hate her either, she was upfront about her ex-girlfriend and that whole situation. She helped Debbie and didn’t take advantage of her but the second she came on screen; I’m sorry but I did not give a fuck. Her last episode built up a potential friend/relationship opportunity for Debbie and they just did nothing with it. Idfk what else to say, not a fan but I did appreciate Calista trying to take care of Debbie when she clearly was drinking too much.

14. Sandy (Season 10-11)

Oh boy, everyone’s favorite partner of Debbie’s... Yeah, Sandy is so low on this list not necessarily because I didn’t like her for Debbie, or that I have beef with Elise (b/c I love her as an actor sm). I personally just hate the sheer fact that this character EXISTS in the first place. I never understood the hype, but I know that people only like her because she’s a Milkovich ie. related to Mickey. That’s the hard truth this fandom isn’t willing to admit. My disliking Sandy should be a post of its own but lemme get into her relationship with Debbie.

You could tell that Emma and Elise liked working together so the chemistry was sorta there (definitely not soulmate shit tho). Each time that they interacted in s10 I was over it. S11 was better in the sense that whether I would like to admit it or not, they did have some “cute moments” (mainly just Sandy calling Debbie babe/babes). The second shit hit the fan in regards to Sandy’s history, I immediately understood Debbie’s issue with her and why her character would not want to be with Sandy. But, with that being said, Debbie was also in the wrong because she made everything about herself throughout the entire course of this relationship! Sandy did call her out, ex: “who was supposed to take Franny to school?”, and things like that were nice. HOWEVER I am sorry to say, this relationship felt like a massive waste of time and it felt like they were trying to force something that shouldn’t have existed to begin with. I don’t have the patience to even analyze this anymore, but maybe down the line because clearly there is SO MUCH to delve into!

13. Alex (Season 9)

Omg I did not like this relationship/plotline at all. Alex had issues but Debbie was so inconsiderate! I never saw the appeal here! It was nice that Alex had the decency to go and help Debs with Ford after the fact. I just feel “meh” about this tho. They had moments but ultimately I personally wasn’t into it and Debbie’s random newfound self discovery of “lesbianism”.

12. Kyle (Season 3)

Emma Kenney’s first kiss! Kyle was a one episode character that did have the potential to be more than that. I didn’t hate the kid as Debbie’s love interest, but there also wasn’t anything special about him. He was just kinda there and then he left. Debbie really seemed to like him though, spelling his name in her peas, etc.. I do like that one line about cigarettes that Kyle had but again he was such a short lived character and when he turned out not to be related to Kevin it became unnecessary to keep him around... even if the episode alluded to him returning. They were sorta cute!

11. Claudia (Season 10)

So I didn’t like this relationship much either but there was a certain kind of stability in the relationship that felt organic and nice. Partly because I enjoyed watching Constance Zimmer and she made Claudia likeable. Do I ship it? No. Was it a problematic dynamic? Yes. Was it a tolerable relationship? Eh. I didn’t hate it entirely though. Debbie, being a Gallagher, eventually fucked it up. And while I did like the drama, Debbie wasn’t REALLY into Claudia as much as she may have believed she was. So, it totally felt like a one off that would end with Claudia not returning... and it was. So there was no time for an investment of any kind.

10. Hedi (Season 11)

Gosh... Debbie’s endgame(?). Hedi was introduced too late for me to care enough about her (At this point it would have made sense for Debbie to wind up with Calista because at least she was already introduced!). I don’t necessarily like Hedi as a character and quite frankly it was a “who tf does SHE think she is” kinda deal for me. At first I was interested and didn’t hate her (and I don’t), but then she “thought she was Jimmy” and I instantly got annoyed (LOL I GUESS it was a nice nod to him tho... I guess).

My (several) problems with Hedi as a character aside, there IS something about Hedi being presented as this “dangerous badass” who is (somehow) WORSE than Debbie, that worked well. I’m not a fan of the ship, but it is an interesting dynamic in the sense that Debbie could potentially be “living on the edge”. I fear for what trouble this could cause Debbie BUT it’s like Frank referenced: Monica vibes. I don’t think it’s “true love” like Debbie said to Franny. A constant storyline for Debbie has been “why can’t anyone ever love me” and so she falls in quickly. Maybe Hedi will leave her but that’s the thing, “she’s done worse” so idk, either way I don’t think it’s meant to last! But I guess I don’t mind them being together! Karma’s a bitch! Will Carl tell her what Arthur found? Would it even make a difference?

9. Julia (Season 10)

I would have actually rather preferred her with Carl too! It was never love between Debbie and Julia, but the relationship did create good conflict for my viewing pleasure. UNPOPULAR OPINION, I didn’t mind Julia as a character at all. She was fine for me. I also enjoyed how ultimately SHE was only using Debbie in the end. Julia does admit later on that she was experiencing with her sexuality so maybe she did have feelings for Debbie at one point, which I thought was interesting. Debbie got herself into this one. At least Julia was more age appropriate than Claudia... (which is ironic since Debbie got in trouble for being with Julia when the age gap is MUCH bigger between Claudia and Debbie LOL I love it)! I also found Julia annoying Debbie to be amusing, that’s not to say that I liked her a lot either cuz I don’t!

8. Matty (Season 4-5)

Man do I feel bad for Matty! Debbie raped him and it was horrible. From the get-go when Matty was introduced the relationship was hella awkward!! And not only that but Debbie was a MINOR! Matty did do the right thing and said they couldn’t be together but a part of me will always feel strange that he WAS INITIALLY attracted to Debbie before learning her age. That to me is still wildly inappropriate. He shoulda cut it off. He did try to be her friend and took her to that dance which was cute but ahhh this was just a MESS all around. Cringe. At least he didn’t take advantage.

7. Henry (Season 4)

Speaking of Matty and that dance, Henry was supposed to take her. He asked her as a joke in order for Seama to inflict revenge on Debbie. If that weren’t the case however... DAMN THEY WERE CUTE! The potential that this relationship could have had! If only it wasn’t all an act! It was a “day worth of love” and sure that’s not enough for two people to REALLY be IT, yet there was something charming about their connection that I wish was real. Or idk maybe Henry could have reconnected with her later and apologized and it could have been revealed that he did actually like her... but that wasn’t the case. Fuck him!

6. Simon (Season 1-2)

Debbie was NOT interested in Simon at all but at the time he was almost like the male version of her. Their banter back and forth was fun to watch and he probably would have treated her well. It’s unfortunate that we didn’t get to even see their friendship progress. Their interactions were funny and he was a good guy!

5. Batiste (Season 10)

Y’all may not understand why this guy is so high on the list but a part of me wishes this character wasn’t a one off. Batiste is the dude Debbie tried to return her “unused” shoes to. If you can recall, he wanted a blowjob to take advantage of her. While this was a dick move (and the plot went nowhere) a part of me would have liked to see more! He did have an arc where he acted like an ass and realized that it is wrong to degrade women. I just think it could have been built upon and Emma may have had chemistry with this actor. There was something here that I didn’t hate and I felt it could have been expanded upon.

4. Little Hank (Season 2-3)

Debbie’s first real crush! It was interesting to see how he didn’t like her at first and then a “friendship/relationship” slowly started to develop after he gave her flowers. IT JUST NEVER CONTINUED! Little Hank was in no way the most upstanding, but it was cool to see Carl have a friend that Debbie crushed on (when she was little she wasn’t intentionally taking something away from Carl ie. Kelly, so I support it). Their interactions were fun to watch too! The fandom definitely has a soft spot for Little Hank! And at one point everyone was rooting for them to be together. Too bad we never discovered what ended up happening to this character!

3. Neil (Season 7-8)

The bathtub scene tho! Adorable! There was a short moment within this relationship that was super cute where the two of them really did seem to care about each other and may have both been in love. It goes without saying that Debbie was only using him, but they did have SOME potential and they found a common ground where they each benefited each other’s needs. Debbie once again was TOO controlling and self absorbed to make it work, but I don’t think she was entirely happy in a relationship with him. He deserved more respect!

2. Derek (Season 5-8)

Baby Daddy! I really did enjoy them together until Debbie took advance of him and Franny came into the picture, but at the same time that’s one of the reasons that Derek, as a character, has a deeper connection to Debbie and the audience. I always enjoyed their flirting back and forth and the relationship they had (the deleted scene with the card/push up game ahh my heart)! Debbie really did mess up due to her desperation to “belong to a family”, which is another one of her consistent character traits. She just went too far and tried to trap him. Then shit got messed up between their families. Derek did eventually ask for parcial custody and did have a desire to be a part of Franny’s life. Debbie said no and that plot line died until s10. Pepa!! Ahh! RIP to Derek, it was sad to me that he died. Definitely a character and relationship that I wish was incorporated more because I truly enjoyed them together.

1. Duran (Season 8)

Besties with benefits! Stop! Nobody talks about my guy Duran! Sure they both said that this relationship was of a sexual nature and that they were just a couple of friends but damn! The chemistry and dynamic was palpable! It is truly a shame that we didn’t get to see more of this friendship! They were on common ground and really did care about each other! I don’t know why but I really just LOVED them together! Duran was also in her friend group with Farhad and that was a group that seemed to have a positive impact on Debbie as a person. S8 Debbie was cool! These two complemented each other so nicely! Duran wasn’t by any means the best influence on her because he almost lead Debbie down a “Monica path” but come on, Hedi is worse in that department. He was getting his life together like Debbie was with her profession. Just think of the hair convos Duran and Tami could have had Lol. Idk, I just like Debbie with him a lot! It was healthy to an extent and he was supportive of Debs with Franny.

#I could write so much more for each of these but I’ll spare you #guys nobody talks about the AMOUNT of love interests Debbie had over the course of this damn show #I miss characters with a lot of depth!#I want to do more of these relationship lists for other characters #my lists #my favs #shameless #gallavich #debbie gallagher #franny gallagher #sandy milkovich #debbie x sandy

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sierraraeck · 4 years

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Healing - Epilogue

What happens after the end?

A/N: Just shit headcanons of mine. Some might be things I wanted to include and didn’t fit, or just fun ideas I had.

Later at the dinner party, Savannah makes a comment about Spencer and Aundreya and their relationship and whatever so Derek describes it to her.

He says he’d describe it as “He’d die for her, and she’d kill for him. Hell, they both already have.” Flashback to that time Spencer got shot and that other time her dad grabbed him and held a gun on him and that other time he had a sniper on him and that other other time he got kidnapped and tortured.

Then Derek asks Aundreya (who’s no longer paying attention to anyone other than Spencer) “Speaking of, what is your body count for him? Five?”

“Uh… let’s not talk about it.” It was seven. Darrell Fairchild (the guy in prison), a prison guards (she accidentally blew too much of the drug in his face), Dakota (Spencer’s dealer), Xena, Archer, Joe Spade (her dad died in prison because she sent him there and died probably due to her friends on the inside if we wanna count that), and DeLeon.

She didn’t kill DeLeon when she first cuffed him, but her friends in prison killed him on behalf of her so…

Aundreya insists that Spencer get her ring symbol tattooed on his hip like the rest of them. His has a little diamond on the inside of one of the infinity loops so everyone knows that he’s “the king to Alionth’s queen”

Aundreya stays with the BAU but whenever she has free time, she visits the ring and does what she can to keep them going, but Deen is doing a pretty good job on his own.

Deen is totally in love with Penelope and the two of them go on to have an amazing life together, causing Deen to step back a little.

Which means that Mateo and Niko get to take on more responsibility.

Mateo.

Ugh he was a good one, but he wasn’t Spencer. Mateo knew it was coming before it happened. He could see it in Aundreya’s eyes. He’s doing okay and will hopefully find some new lady soon.

Niko and Roman are together, by the way, so they’re all good.

Everyone, including the BAU, was invited to the wedding. Chaos ensued.

Mateo finally gets to rename “the ring” “the Lions”

The Lions become a criminal information network that consults with the FBI. They still do their own shit, but are up for hire, by the BAU specifically if they need it.

Aundreya finally stops dancing for money.

But she still does it for fun.

Like for Derek’s bachelor party, she got all of her best girls to dance with her, and even taught Savannah a few moves which she learned at her bachelorette party so that she could perform for Derek.

Aundreya totally gives the girls lessons.

Emily is strong so she's pretty good at it, but she’s not as flexible as JJ who is actually kind of a natural. She’s also a twig, so that doesn’t hurt. Tara has already taken a pole dancing class, so she’s got it together. Penelope is the best at all the dance stuff and could give you the lap dance of your life. Deen approved.

They perform it one night at the strip club and make a shit ton of money. What do you expect, though? They’re wearing these super hot revealing clothes and everyone is losing their minds. The girls understand the appeal and why Aundreya hasn’t quit yet. Plus, free drinks afterwards.

Aundreya always comes home to Spencer who is more than willing to reap the rewards of her in sexy stripper clothes.

But she also totally has fun staying in and reading, or curling up on the couch with him watching tv.

They’re amazing in the field.

They have very different skill sets, but when they team up, watch your back. They bounce ideas off of each other so fast sometimes the team can’t keep up. But the real magic happens in the interrogation rooms. They play off each other so well it’s honestly scary. They’re always on the same page and can freely improvise and the other can totally change their plan and follow. Like mind reading, but scarier.

Both of them still have nightmares, Spencer more than Aundreya because of his memory, but she’s always there to comfort him. They’ve had their fair share of late night walks. Spencer always brings his gun, and Aundreya has a dagger. They’re prepared.

She once took down a man that had been walking in the same direction as them for too long and kept side eyeing them. Apparently he was ‘looking at Spencer wrong’

Turns out, he was super gay and into Spencer and wanted to know if that was his girlfriend or someone else.

“Who else would I be to him?”

“Uh, I don’t know? Sister, cousin, friend…”

“I totally see the appeal but he’s taken.”

“Aundreya, get off him, I’m so sorry sir.”

They snuggle.

Neither will admit it.

But it happens.

One time it happened on the jet and the team had a meltdown.

They made fun of Spencer, asking him 21 questions about how he could get Aundreya to soften up, but no one really said anything to Aundreya about it.

Except Derek.

He made fun of her relentlessly and she kicked his ass.

The two of them spar a lot because it’s fun. They’re pretty evenly matched, but when Aundreya is pissed, Derek doesn’t have a chance. He’s stopped sparing with her when she’s in a bad mood, no matter how much she begs and reasons that it’ll make her feel better.

“But it won’t make me feel better”

“That’s not true. I know that you enjoy a good workout”

“Not when I can’t walk the next day because you don’t know how to take it easy”

“I always spar when you’re angry”

“Yeah because I’m not an out of control maniac!”

He had a point.

It’s usually their entire workout for the day. They usually draw a crowd because they’re mesmerizing to watch, but there was one time that a bunch of teenagers were around, so they recorded it and posted it on YouTube and Instagram. They went viral.

Aundreya is Emily’s wing-woman at a lesbian bar and totally helps her get this super hot trainer. It happens more than once, sometimes with Tara joining too until Emily and Tara pull themselves together and kiss. Aundreya had a similar pep talk with Emily as she had with her about Spencer.

The only other person besides Spencer that sees her soft side is Penelope. After a really rough case, they’ll drive to as many pet shops in the area and look at/hold as many cute animals as they can. The owners know them by now and will let them basically hold and take care of any animal they want to.

Rossi gifts Aundreya his expensive whiskey from that night as a housewarming gift when her and Spencer finally get a little townhouse. They didn’t want something big, but still wanted an upgrade from an apartment.

Side note: Aundreya not only wanted to recruit Penelope to join her ring, but she was looking to rope Rossi in as a client since he’s stupid rich. Never happened but could’ve been fun.

Spencer and Aundreya can really only sleep if the other is with them. It’s like they’re the other’s sleeping drug. They always get paired in the same room, because one time they tried to separate them, and they were inhaling caffeine like it was the only thing keeping them alive and were grumpy as hell the next day.

They check on the other whenever they can. It’s usually small, like longer eye contact or a small squeeze on the shoulder. They’re not big on PDA so they wait until they’re in private to just full on collapse into the other and hold each other.

They call when they haven’t heard from the other in too long because they worry.

But their favorite little “tradition” is the mornings. They have a nice routine, but the mornings they love the most are the ones they have off. They have a porch, so they’ll take their coffee and tea out there, and just sit, enjoying the morning air. Even when it’s snowing, they don’t take as long, but they make the effort to just go outside and take a deep breath before the craziness of the day starts. It grounds them and helps remind them that they’re alive, and that the other is right beside them.

And always will be.

Series Taglist

@justanothetfangirl @kris-stuff @blameitonthenight21 @wooya1224 @unded-bride @swiftingday @dezzxmx

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eddiestommy · 4 years

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when she talks (i hear the revolution)

And look, she isn't dumb, okay? She knows what she looks like, what with the small chest and broad shoulders, how she looks with her short hair she asked Alex to cut with his razor last summer after a fight with her mom, the men's flannels with baggy jeans. She's known since Andrew Williams from her 8th grade History class told their entire grade she was a dyke after he catched her looking at an old Playboy magazine behind the bleachers. She knows.

The one where Bobby and Reggie are lesbians and maybe Bobby should love herself a little bit more.

Read on AO3

for eris (@molinajulie) , who didn't ask for this but whom i love dearly. thanks for introducing me to this show and loving bobby as much as i do.

Bobbi's uncomfortable the moment she gets inside the club.

This isn't their usual scene and although it's not that different from the grimy, underground places Sunset Curve usually plays at, it's new enough that it has her constantly looking over her shoulder and jumping a little bit every time someone stands just a little too close.

After their last bassist, some dude named Austin who was just mediocre enough and a little too much of an asshole to Alex for anyone to truly care about him, had quit the band two weeks ago, Luke had insisted they do the club rounds, check what the L.A. music scene had to offer and hopefully snatch a new bassist for themselves before their next gig.

They've not been successful, so far. There's lots of talented bassists, this is L.A. after all, but they're either too enamored of their own bands to give their offer a chance, aren't into Sunset Curve's sound, or just straight up don't like the idea of being in a band with a woman. Bobbi doesn't care about men's comfort enough for her to be offended when they give her a once over with a frowned brow and ask Luke if he's sure that's the kind of band he wants to be part of, but when it's the girls who do it... Well that just hurts.

And look, she isn't dumb, okay? She knows what she looks like, what with the small chest and broad shoulders, how she looks with her short hair she asked Alex to cut with his razor last summer after a fight with her mom, the men's flannels with baggy jeans. She's known since Andrew Williams from her 8th grade History class told their entire grade she was a dyke after he catch her looking at an old Playboy magazine behind the bleachers. She knows.

It doesn't make it any better, knowing, when she has to pitch her voice a couple octaves higher that usual when talking to a girl she doesn't know yet so they don't get scared of her or think she's flirting with them. And it sure as fuck doesn't make it better when bassists would rather stay with their shitty, dead-end bands playing underground clubs and illegal parties than be in a band with someone like Bobbi. With Bobbi.

"Did you came here to listen to the music, or are you here just to sulk at the bar and look into your beer like it killed your children?"

And well, Bobbi must have been too busy with her self deprecation time to realize someone sat next to her at the bar and was now looking at her. Not just someone, either, but a girl. A pretty girl.

"I don't have children," she says before she can stop herself, and maybe this is why she's still single even tho it's 2020 and lesbian bars and dating apps are a thing that exist.

"That's good to know," the girl says, and gifts Bobbi a bright smile dressed in red lipstick. "Hi, I'm Reggie Molina"

"Bobbi Wilson," Bobbi says, and fucking extends her right arm for a handshake like a dumbass.

"Nice to meet you, Bobbi," the girl, Reggie, chuckles shaking her hand. "So? Are you here to see a particular band or did you just came here to be sad? 'Cause I gotta say, if it's the second one you chose a terrible place for it."

Reggie is giving a pointed look at the crowd to prove her point, and she's right, of course. Some band is playing a Pearl Jam cover and the audience looks sweaty and a little bit gross from dancing all together and jumping to the beat of the music. Bobbi can't quite make it out with the dark red light situation the club has going on but she's sure she sees Alex by the right side of the stage talking to someone.

"Uh, no, not really. I'm in a band and we're missing a bassist for our next gig. We're supposed to be looking for someone to play with us but everyone seems..." She doesn't finish her thought but Reggie shoots her a look like she knows what she means.

"What's your band's name?" Reggie asks, taking a sip of her drink.

And wow, maybe Bobbi should practice her people skills because she didn't even notice Reggie already had a drink or the way she looks so pretty holding the straw between her red lips. She also got pretty hands, from what she can see of them holding the tall glass of her drink. They look soft but not too delicate, and Bobbi is definitely not looking at how long and slender her fingers are, absolutely not, sir.

"Uh, Sunset Curve?" She's not sure why she phrases it like a question but she hopes that it's just distracting enough so Reggie doesn't realize she went quiet because she was looking at her hands.

"Oh, shit, are you serious? I fucking love your music," Reggie says with another one of her open smiles. And Bobbi isn't looking, but she can see how pretty Reggie looks when she smiles like that. She has one of those smiles that make her do everything she can to keep seeing it. "I saw you guys play this club over at Sunset Boulevard last month, I think, you guys killed it. My sister definitely has a crush on your frontman, bought your demo and all."

Bobbi kinda hates the sound of her own laugh but she can help but laugh at Reggie's words. Girls having crushes on Luke is such an usual occurrence that they now count on the fact that most of their audience at any given point it's made up of teenage girls and young women who are there to see Luke bounce around the stage with his arms at full display. It's cute, honestly, how Luke gets all flushed when Alex and Bobbi joke about how he ought to take his shirt off on stage to see if that helps selling more tickets to their shows only for him to go on a rant about how 'it's about the music, you dorks'.

"She'll be happy to know he's single, then," Bobbi says between laughs.

"Oh, is he now?"

If Bobbi's heart skips a beat or two at the edge of interest in Reggie's voice she hopes it doesn't show on her face. Of course Reggie is interested in Luke, why wouldn't she.

"Is your drummer, too? Single, I mean."

"Uh, yeah, Alex's single," Bobbi says, her disappointment bleeding through her voice just a little bit. "He's gay, thought. Alex, I mean."

"What about the rhythm guitarist?" Reggie asks again, her smile a little darker and just on the edge of flirtatious, and Bobbi is sure she's imagining the way her eyes seem to give her a once over. "Is she single?"

Bobbi takes a long second to reply, suddenly hyper aware of the way Reggie's blue—so, so fucking blue—eyes are looking directly at her, how her left hand is so close to where Bobbi's is, right next to her beer that's most likely gone warm by now. She's suddenly aware of how close they are, how Reggie must have been closing their distance while they've been talking because now she can feel her breath just inches away from her lips, can even taste the fruity taste of whatever cocktail she's drinking.

"Yeah, I'm single," Bobbi says. It's barely more than a whisper, but Reggie hears it all the same if the way she gives her another one of those lopsided smiles and moves even closer to Bobbi are any indication.

They're so, so close now that Bobbi would have to barely move at all to kiss her. Actually, their lips are so close that they might as well be kissing right now because Bobbi can feel the way they move against hers when she speaks again.

"And what's you guys' policy of dating other band members?"

"Uh, well, Luke and Alex dated for a while a couple years ago before they decided they liked each other as friends better," she replies. She's pretty sure she must look stupid right now, all cross eyed with how close they are and how she keeps trying to look at Reggie's mouth and eyes at the same time. "Why?"

"Well, you said you guys are looking for a bassist and I would like to audition for the position, but there's this really hot guitarist on the band, too, and I don't think I could play with her if I don't get to kiss her, too."

And Bobbi's brain is so haywire by now that one thing she says to this is, "I haven't even heard you play."

Reggie's face moves back just a couple inches as she laughs at Bobbi's words but she's frowning at the distance anyway, so used to feeling Reggie's lips just barely against hers as they speak.

"Then I'll guess you'll have to stick around and watch," Reggie says with a wink and kisses Bobbi.

It's hardly a kiss, to be honest, just a little more than a touch of lips and it's over so fast Bobbi can't even react to it and kiss her back. It nonetheless stuns Bobbi enough that she stands sat at her bar stool even as Reggie gives her another wink and starts walking towards the stage where another band is starting to set up for their own set, too dumbfounded to go after her and still trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms fanfiction #jatp #jatp fanfic #reggie jatp #bobby jatp #fanfic:mine #fanfic:julie and the phantoms #ship:bobby/reggie

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sharkb0yinthewat3r · 4 years

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What was coming out like for you?

For years I was closeted and i really didn’t want to do it. I go back and forth between whether or not I thought it was unnecessary or I told myself it was unnecessary so I wouldn’t have to do it. It was probably a little bit of both.

I knew for a while that at the very least my mom knew since she was the only one dropping hints. But if she did so did everybody else. After I was like truly accepting of myself, I really did buy into the narrative that i didn’t need to do it. On one hand I felt like everyone in my family already knew so there was no need to inform them, there was no need to bring it up out of nowhere unprompted, and it’s just ridiculous that that’s something anyone has to do. I’m more than my sexuality and straight people don’t have to come out.

Anyway this ended up being a really long post feel free to read all of it, but the main takeaway is that coming out was scary. Even when I knew nothing big was going to come of it, there’s just like this anxiety I had and I think it’s normal. Im lucky to live a life where I can be myself freely without having to be concerned about repercussions. I would say me coming out to my friends/just not hiding who I was from them was a great experience. My cousins were so great. My mom and my sister, I guess I wish that those had gone better which is crazy to me because they had known the longest and had so long to prepare and just didn’t have ideal reactions (far from awful but it was kinda just like uhhh ok?) and then my dads is probably my favorite bc that’s how it should be for everyone. It was ultimately very freeing for me but it was also like very uncomfortable for me.

My coming out happened in 4 phases:

1. College freshman year: i was struggling with my sexuality after I got my first crush and wasn’t sure whether or not people would accept me and eventually I told one friend that I lived with and he never treated me differently, I think I told three other friends that were girls, but overall it was extremely difficult to communicate for me. I would say that this was a time in which I was still closeted.

2. I now work on accepting myself and don’t really talk about it with people unless it comes up for the next three years. I’m now in my fourth year of college and join an org where I’m placed on a committee that’s essentially 60% gay males 40% straight males (and girls). My goal when joining was just to be open and let people get to know me. I was still middle ish of the road and sorta wanted to be perceived as straight. I think people just kind of started to assume I was gay and it was like “oh I don’t have to think about telling anyone anything or acting a certain way. I can just be myself” and I kinda just let loose and as we started hanging out and going to parties together I was able to open up and be myself judgement free and it was just so much fun and that’s when I like TRULY accepted myself and I was like life should be like this all the time. I can’t believe I haven’t been doing this. This was more of like a me coming out to myself than anything else and showing myself how enjoyable life can be when you don’t bottle yourself up.

3. Same year (after my first semester) Even though I was very open with my friends at school, this was my first time home for a ‘long break’ and I wasn’t as open with my family. Me and my two female cousins went out for a day together in the city and then ended up at a bar where they were talking about the kind of guys they were into and my one cousin mentions that she’s into older guys and I didn’t say anything and then our other cousin went to the bathroom and I was like btw I’m gay and I only wanted to preface that bc when u said u were into older guys I was like legit same I know exactly what you mean. My other cousin came back from the bathroom and then we laughed about it, but they were the sweetest and most supportive I could’ve wanted. I don’t think I’d ever felt as close with them as I did in that moment. They asked if anyone else knew and I was like well my friends but that’s it and they said they wouldn’t tell anyone and I thanked them.

A few nights later I met my sister out at a bar for her birthday in the city. I was hanging out with her friends (who I knew just not on a real personal level) because she was dancing and making out with some guy. This is actually kinda funny. It was winter and the bar was hot so I tied my jacket around my waist (as I often do bc that’s just typically part of my look, kinda like a staple of mine tbh) and her friend is like “ryán why are you wearing that around your waist, go put it in the coat check” and I was like no thanks like I really don’t mind having it on my waist, I like the way it looks and I honestly don’t wanna pay and she’s like “you have to check it, any girl who walks in here and sees a guy with a jacket around his waist will not want to get with him” and I looked at her and laughed and was like “lol ok well that’s fine because I’m into guys anyway” and she was taken aback like “OH” and I was like lol r u surprised and she was like well your sister just never told me that and I said well idk why she would, like for one I’m not sure why that would be a topic of discussion between the two of you and for two I haven’t told her anyway. She and my sisters other gay friend practically forced me to tell her the entire night and I was like um ok. And then my sister got mad at me for telling them before her and made it all about herself and I was drunk crying running to the bathroom lol and she followed it up with SO MANY questions and was like you gotta tell mom and dad we talk about it all the time. And I was like 1. No I don’t, if they wanna know they can ask me I don’t care 2. That’s kinda fucked up that you guys talk about me and my sexuality all the time behind my back?? 3. If you just said u all know why do I have to tell you. There isn’t really more to the story there, it was her telling me to and me saying no.

4. It is the 2019th summer. Id thought many times about telling my parents I wanted to go to pride and just like ended up saying nothing. Fact of the matter was that I wasn’t proud and honestly even if I wanted to go I didn’t know who I’d go with. My parents are VERY religious and when I was younger I had heard my mom express worry about a girls mother after the girl had come out as a lesbian l o l. Years go by and my mom got me a pamphlet for the lgbt center mixed in with a bunch of other papers when I moved in my freshman dorm, said a lot of encouraging things to me like telling me “you can date anyone you want” and asking me about my love life (this kind of stuff happened between stages 1 and 2). Nothing was explicitly said but I think we both silently acknowledged it. She even asked about one of my gay friends bc I think she thought we mightve been dating (between stage 3 and 4) which we were not and never have hooked up or anything. Honestly I knew they’d be supportive and I knew they weren’t going to kick me out, I just didn’t know how they’d honestly and truly take it. And by the time that I didn’t give a fuck about how anybody “took” the “news” I was aware that they knew and subscribed to all the beliefs that I listed above. If they wanted to know so desperately they could ask me. At this point I wasn’t even trying to hide it. A guy kinda fucked me over right before school was over and I was talking to her on the phone and she was asking how I was and why I sounded meh and I just told her guys suck without trying to get into it. Anyhow picture this, straight pride has just been confirmed for August 2019. Gays are distressed everywhere. Can we not have one thing??? I share a post to my insta story stating something along the lines of “straight pride isn’t necessary and you should be happy you don’t need it. LGBT people need pride because we still don’t have equal rights and people get killed every day for being a part of this community and people get kicked out of their homes for loving someone, etc.” and I guess my mom saw it and was like that was an interesting post on your instagram and I was like lol ok thanks. (She had thought I didn’t think I was safe in my own home and that’s why I wasn’t coming out) And she’s like is there something you want to tell me? And I say is there something you want me to tell you? And she says only if you want to. And I say “what mom do you want me to tell you I’m gay? Like it’s not a secret. I know you know and everybody else knows.” We went on a walk and she said some highly questionable microaggressions but meant with overall support. At this point though like I already accepted myself so I could just roll my eyes and be like lol whatever you don’t get it.

Then my dad comes back and she calls him to the kitchen and is like I think you should tell him now. And i was like gurl what? This is so out of nowhere and so ridiculous. You’re really going to do this after we just had an hourlong discussion on why I didn’t feel the need to come out. And my dad comes in and is like what’s up and I say hey just so you know I’m gay, ok? And he says ok.

#omg this is so fucking long im so sorry #ive been writing so many novels for asks lately #ask

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