#i will laugh my fucking ass off

[rose-blooms-red]

I will not hyperfixate on the funny haha british kick the ball show I will not hyperfixate on the funny haha british kick the ball show I will NOT hyperfixate on the funny haha british kick the ball sh-

[ghoulishcavern]

the wood collective plot line is literally fucking sooo comical. you have Big Salmon(corporation made entirely to irritate doc) and doc (Unspeakable Power of Destructive Machinery not yet available) who are now forced into a Get-Along-Shirt (they Will get their permits revoked if they don’t work together). doc tried his hardest to gain complete control over the wood industry. he’s Now forced to awkwardly do business with the 2 guys he blew up last week. The Most they can do is hurl insults at each other. it makes it even funnier because doc is 10x more powerful then either beef or skizz, but beef and skizz dominate their interactions with combined louder insanity. the wood collectives’ dynamic is like a sitcom set up i swear.

[radrillest]

[silver-horse]

it's fascinating that those biphobes compare women liking astarion to women liking legolas and they mention a popular post that says "I never understood why so many straight women are into legolas. what do you think he is going to do? top you?" they bring this post up like some sort of proof "haha. so right. so true."

EXCEPT the notes on that popular post are filled with THOUSANDS of women commenting "no. I am gonna top him" and "bold of you to assume women can't top" and a lot of them are bisexual women commenting "I am bi and I only like men who look like a girl lol" honestly relatable Lmao

they act like that shitpost is pointing out some truth about how those women are silly. but the replies on that post show the stupidity of that assumption. people really don't get that feminine looking women don't just want to be rough handled by some masculine dude. and people have varied tastes and sexual desires. there is so much misogyny all tangled up in the biphobia. but it's subtle in a way that they don't notice their views on these matters are flawed because even when we point out what's wrong with these gender essentialist stereotypes, they ignore it and treat it as a joke "haha you all act like we wanted to behead bisexuals"

[randomsufff]

You know what I really need in fanfics? More confession scenes where one person drops the confessions then runs, fast as fuck, in the other direction.

Like, obviously they’ll meet back up eventually and talk about it (which is hilarious in itself that they would have to sprint to catch up while yelling why they’re like this) , BUT THINK ABOUT IT!!! It 1) give the other person a chance to gather their thoughts so the person confessing doesn’t have to sit in anxious silence and 2) allows the confessor to get it over with quick and overcomes that anxiety over confessing. Also it’s just fucking hilarious.

Like imagine your fav paring or whatever, they get to that part where one (or both idk) realizes their feelings for the other but they’re just anxious to be vulnerable like that or they fear rejection, whatever. One of them suddenly goes, fuck it, and they turn to the other. (Maybe they’re on a sidewalk, maybe they’re in a park IDK endless possibilities here) and they go:

“ok I’m about to say something, it’s nothing bad (I hope) and I’m willing to talk about it after I say it. I’m 100% serious, this is really not a joke. But I’m going to say this and run to (relevant location). Ok? Ok…. Don’t freak out… iminlovewithyou” *Cue maniac SPRINTING as fast as humanly possible in the other direction* (Bro I’m cracking up just typing about this)

AND THEN!!! You get to chose how they react after a few stunned seconds. Do they sprint after them? Do they shout to bring their ass back over to them? Do they race like hell to beat the other at the determined location??? I don’t know, but it’s hilarious as fuck and can transition seamlessly into heartfelt feeling talk.

(Thinking about this with specific ships is funny as hell too)

Idk I think of more fics had this trope we could all have a grand ol silly time instead of accidentally speed reading through confession schemes because the stress is too much then having to go back and re-read it to fully process it, as one does. You know?

[jflxwr]

qibli to winter the entire time they were in/talking about the scorpion den in darkness of dragons

[adm-starblitzsteel-4305]

Godzilla and Kong when Mothra shows up

[ghastigiggles]

please spare some tickle headcannons for Sebastian I beg of you 🥺 hes a snarky ass fish that needs to get his shit wrecked

stupid fucking fish that i hate

lee

if you think you're getting within wrecking distance without a considerable amount of trust buildup you've got another thing coming

even then you're on Thin Fucking Ice and pushing your luck is inadvisable. but if you fall into that very minute miniscule percentile...

This fish is stupidly ticklish.

A lot of places he didn't even think could be ticklish actually are (his esca, for example) and he hates it, actually! thanks!

very prone to violence. cannot control his tail at all and is very quick to try and grab anyone who tries shit.

doesn't laugh right away. grits his teeth and tries to pass off the smile as a snarl. he's gonna hold that shit in as long as he feasibly fucking can...

when he eventually does break, his laugh is actually quite bright and a little wheezy.

"If yohohou - ghh, hah, if you dohon't - motherfuHUHUCKER -!"

good stamina but no patience. you have one chance to stop when he says he's serious or you're sooooo totally fucked. sorry.

ler

you fucked up.

you fucked up so bad oh my god you're so FUCKING DEAD BRO!!!!!

see the problem is he has three hands AND a snake body AND he's bigger than you. so uh. moving is gonna be a thing of the past for now.

oh no the claws. haha. uh oh!

he's an older brother and still has that stupid uncanny ability to just hone in on bad spots despite all this time away

won't stop making snide. snarky comments and teases the whole time

slow and meticulous. he has time to kill. and expendables, apparently.

"wait - you actually like this? pff- hah, well that explains a couple things! in that case, i'm sure you can last a little longer than this, can't you? no? hmm, let's find out."

evil.

[cheecats]

top 5 funniest DOTC moments

[personwholoveschocolate]

personaly I THINK that xenk should straight up put on full mr darcy suit just to walk out of the fog to edgin saying "you have bewitched me body and soul" ect ect for the sole reason of edgin standing there looking at him with teary heart eyes before breathlessly say "why are you like this" and kiss him passionatly on the lips

[hraishin]

the implication that the thousand years of death jutsu is a family jutsu broke me fr

[jess-flows]

Bitches (Mike) be like: "I never liked Peter"

Them during the Headquarters sessions:

Sorry guys, I coudn't resist

[jade-len]

you know it's bad when i read svsss and tgcf, stories about just two guys falling in love and getting together, and think, "god i wish i were in between them."

gay little domestic cottage core life with binghe and qingqiu? please and thank you. being sandwiched by hua cheng and xie lian, two pretty men who are hundreds of years old? i am blushing, kicking my feet and giggling

and again, it's not even that i would want only one of them. like in both of the relationships, the two love each other too much to the point it'd feel wrong if they were separated! it wouldn't feel complete, so you gotta be with both of them!

but that's the thing; i just?? i feel so incredibly guilty whenever i think about being loved by these mxtx couples??? like it's so stupid but i feel like i'm intruding in on something and it's like, everyone else seems to just want them together only, not wanna be with them. like it's fuckin taboo or whatever

i feel like with any other character from any other media it'd be fine to simp for and write/read x readers of them, but when it comes to these books, it's off limits! no way, what are you, crazy? yes, yes i'm unhinged and desperately want their love and affection simultaneously. i want to be in a happy little poly relationship with these overpowered beautiful men with long hair.

i can't be the only guy or whoever to feel this way?? to wanna be kissed by these characters? sandwiched?? i have two hands for christ sake and they all look so happy together and im just like "lord i wanna be with them so much". someone tell me i'm not alone cmon <\3

[volatilemask]

literally how.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

wormie wormie wormie wormi-

[bonetrousledbones]

all that being said

toby. i need you to put this back in the game right fucking now immediately