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bardic-tales · 2 years

Text

REFLECTIONS (SI X IA)

Novel: Fall of Darth Jadus

Pairing: m!SI (Darth Jadus / Darth Noktis) x f!IA (Cipher Nine / Cynthia Prescost)

Fandom: Star Wars

Word count: 2981

Warning: Suggestive languages and themes, Death of Main Character, Language, disturbing imagery. Minors DNI

Premise: Cipher Nine must come to terms with her Sith lover’s death, but she finds herself overwhelm by her other Sith companion.

Author’s Note: This idea has been floating around in my head since my husband and I both restarted our original characters. Some of it is taken from an RP that we were running in chat while we were questing.

It also takes place during the Heart of Terror Act for the Imperial Agent. We have decided that Adaki is using their Force bond and occasionally Force teleport to be with her physically. He is testing everyone’s loyalty, especially Cynthia’s. After all, she will be his Empress when he democratizes fear and tries to take the Emperor’s place.

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The Empire had almost completed its grieving steps and Darth Jadus had been dead for several months before Cipher Nine only begun to understand the full weight of her grief.

Right after Darth Jadus’ death, she went into survival mode, not allowing herself to grieve properly. She had the Empire and its welfare to think about. Her grieving would have to wait. And wait it did.

She sat up in the darkened room and squinted against the blackness.

Nine wondered how she could feel the gap in her life that the Sith’s death left behind. She didn’t know the man long, but he left an impression upon her life that hardly anyone else had.

He just overcame the loss of his fiancée, too, she reminded herself. She didn’t openly weep when he told her the tragic tale of how his fiancée was taken from him and how he searched the entire galaxy for her. It affected Nine in a more subtle way.

While she and Jadus didn’t share a kiss or other similar intimacy, there was a warmth to their interactions. He once told her that he would not pursue a relationship with her until she was sure she understood the dangers of becoming involved with a Dark councilor. Jadus would not lose someone he cared for again.

After enough time in the darkened silence, she was able to fall back into her usual fitful sleep. There was nothing refreshing about it. That was when the dreams would come, her mind’s endless search for her one great tragedy.

The dreams were always the same. Jadus’ death would play over and over in her mind, though from a perspective she never had. She never witnessed his death, but in her dreams, he died right in front of her. The method was always different, but the result was always the same. She failed him.

Quickly, another of these nightmares overcame her. Jadus was standing before her, speaking, but she could not make out the words. Whatever it was, it seemed important, urgent, even.

Nine tried to cross the distance between them, but she couldn’t lift her feet. She took a step forward, trying to fight the resistance, and the distance between them grew. The flagship’s floor crumbled away. A tomblike silence immediately followed, as blinding, fiery stars twinkled around the sundered starship.

I’m only dreaming, she told herself, to wake up, but it didn’t work.

“You failed me, Cyn,” Jadus lamented, reaching for her in vain. “You failed me.”

“Jadus!” Nine cried out as she reached for him. She could almost touch him, almost brush his fingers with her own. This had been the end of her nightmares from the time he was lost to her. He continued to die in many ways. Each time was more gruesome than the last, but the end result was always the same. Nine couldn’t make it to him in time.

Blood seeped from a wound upon his chest and soaked his dark leather outer robe. It pooled within his gloves until it streamed off his finger tips into a widening pool upon the sundered ground.

Jadus dropped to his knees. The bottom of the lightsaber hilt attached to the belt looped around his waist clattered against steel flooring. He looked up at her. His metallic helmet glinted in the neon emergency light. The Klaxon alarm drowned out any other thoughts or sounds, except his voice repeating those terrible words once again. “You have failed me, Cynthia.”

Nine sat up in the blackened room. She blinked against the darkness and tried to get her bearings. Everything looked unfamiliar to her. Gone was the ruined starship, the gore, and her lover. The only thing that remained was the crushing weight of her failure.

Her heart raced, and it was the only sound she could hear in the night’s perpetual stillness. She was utterly alone.

The silence was suddenly broken by the cacophony of the door being caved into the room. It turned end over end until it smashed against the metallic dresser in the far corner of the room. Wires and cords dangled from the top of the metal door frame.

Adaki stood on the other side, his hand outstretched. The Zabrak had used the Force to gain entry into her room. He stood there, his carmine-colored chest glimmering in the naked golden fluorescent hallway light. Twin onyx stripes raced diagonally across his hips, and their pointed tips disappeared beneath the waistband of his loose-fitting raven trousers.

“What are you doing, Lord Adaki?” She hastily pulled the covers over her breasts, pinned the top of the blanket under her arms, and stared at the interloper.

“I heard you cry out?” he said as he stepped into the room, unable to hide the concern on his countenance for a fleeting moment. “Are you alright? What happened? Were you attacked?”

“It was a bad dream,” she said, almost laughing at the outrageousness of the situation. “Are you going to bash down my door every time I have a nightmare, my lord?”

“That sounded like no ordinary nightmare, and they are hardly harmless. Nightmares can cause great damage. A powerful Sith could attack you in your dreams.”

As she continued to press the sheet against her body, Nine turned away from him. She known he couldn’t sense her thoughts of feel her emotions. Most Sith couldn’t. Imperial Intelligence trained her well.

Not well enough, she relentlessly reminded herself. If someone hadn’t placed a block within her mind and dampened her connection to the Force, she would have been able to sense that there were two targets for the dissidents: one on Dromund Kaas and one above the planet, her lover’s star destroyer. Jadus’ words echoed in her mind. Nine failed.

“The Sith in my dreams cannot hurt me.” The skin bunched around her eyes as she stared at the wall. Wetness clung to her thick eyelashes. She blinked the tears away. “He’s only a ghost from my past.”

Adaki set down on the bed beside her. The plush mattress sunk beneath his heavy weight, and her body shifted towards him from the disturbance. His scent drifted to her, reminding her of desert trees mixed with blossoming flowers. The Zabrak’s cologne was like himself: powerful, intoxicating, and a bit sensual. It was the fragrance of desire.

“Was it Lord Jadus again?” The words were unusual spoken by him, coming from a Sith. There was almost a gentleness to his tone, but she knew how treacherous he could be. Since she had traveled with Adaki for a brief time before she met Jadus that first time, she knew he was a brutal man who discarded things like a person threw away trash.

With those doubts in her mind, it still took only a second to lower her defenses. The dream and its aftermath left her vulnerable. The knowledge she failed not only the Darth in charge of Imperial Intelligence but also the man she had come to love left raw, like a pat of butter stretched thinly across toast.

“It always is.” Nine dared not look at him. She swallowed the lump thickening in the back of her throat, but it wouldn’t go down easily. Nothing was ever easy now in the wake of Jadus’ death.

“You will discover the truth behind his assassination, Cyn. You are the best that Imperial Intelligence has to offer. You will unmask the conspirators and bring them all to justice.”

“Fuck justice,” Nine responded coldly. “I will bring them vengeance. I will make them suffer for what they have done. I will make them pay for robbing the galaxy of Jadus’ greatness.”

Adaki stared at her, apparently dumbstruck by her confession. His countenance took on a hungry expression, like he saw her with a renewed sense of passion. It was clear that she surprised him.

“You would make a wonderful Sith, my dear,” he purred. “If only you would let me train you.”

Jadus asked to do the same thing. He had told her that looking at her felt like he was staring into a font bubbling over with raw Force energy. She was a beautiful and terrifying person. That was what had attracted him to her.

Nine had never considered herself particularly unique. She was only a citizen working for the Empire and didn’t feel as if she had any connection with the Force. If she had, she surely would have felt something. And that, itself, had worried Jadus.

Was that the nature of a relationship that an Imperial had with a Sith? One or both of them would meet death. She understood any apprentice that Jadus had would eventually try to kill him. That was the reason that she had refused Jadus’ help, his offer to train her. Any training from any Sith would make her lose her sense of identity and would eventually pit herself against the one who trained her, in this case, the man she had loved.

It doesn’t matter. Nine didn’t kill Jadus, but he was still dead. She was still responsible. She should have anticipated it, should have known that the conspirators would go for the second most powerful Sith in the galaxy. The death of such a prestigious council member would be how she would make the Empire crumble if she were a terrorist.

“I don’t understand what you mean, my Lord.” Nine folded her arms around her chest, still pressing the thin sheet to her body. She felt naked and exposed as her bare shoulder brushed his own.

Adaki leaned forward and watched her. She swore she saw that emotion in his eyes before, but how could she? They briefly traveled together when she was given her first assignment by Imperial Intelligence. That was before Hutta and before she swore fealty to Darth Jadus. There was surely no romance or interest between them, as there wasn’t enough time for it to blossom.

“As I told Lord Jadus,” she said, “I’m nothing special. Nothing that would require training from a Sith of your magnitude, my lord.”

“I have told you before to call me Adaki. Pray, I do not ask again.”

“My Lo — Adaki, are you sure that is wise? People will gossip.”

That was not the only reason she was protesting. Darth Jadus had her call him by his name, too, so much so that he insisted on it much like the Zabrak was currently doing. It made their interactions seem personal and intimate.

If she would have known then what she knew now, she would have insisted on keeping things formal with him. Her heart wouldn’t have been split in twain, otherwise. He might have survived. He might have been at her side now …

“People gossip,” Adaki said. “That is what they do. It would be simpler to stop the sun from rising than to stop the common rabble and their incessant talking. I don’t waste time worrying about what people say behind my back, only I they venture to plotting against me. That is wholly unwise, however.”

“As you say, Adaki,” she conceded.

“You are wrong, you know?” he added. She glanced at him, confused.

“What do you mean.”

“You said you are nothing special. Nothing that a Sith of my magnitude should show interest in. You are wrong. There is something there, elusive, but it is there. You have some connection to the Force, that much is clear. I can feel that much, but it is muted. It is difficult to describe, almost like a limb that has been severed, the memory remains.”

“As you say, Adaki, but I still can’t feel it.”

The truth was that she didn’t feel anything he described. Even if what he said were true, Nine was sure that if she had any connection with the Force that would require training she would have shown talent. Still, she knew there was no sense in arguing with a Sith Lord. It would be a fruitless exercise as his decision was already decided; Adaki rarely changed his mind after that.

How do I know that? Nine thought. There was something more to their relationship, the familiar sensations lighting her memories, but the more she was around him, the more her thoughts felt cloudy, as if she were peering through the memory with a thin gauze of fabric covering the past.

Adaki raised his right hand, but she didn’t shrink away. Despite the fine hair lifting up on her arms, she didn’t sense any danger. He clutched her face and covered her mouth, left nostril, and chin in a tight grasp. His fingers bite into her flesh.

Nine still wasn’t afraid. She felt as if she had finally come home after being lost, as if something from a long distant past had finally clicked into place. It was strange to her that someone like Adaki felt the way he did. She never was led by her heart, always putting the Empire before her needs, but it didn’t make sense that two Sith Lords had made her question her loyalty to her obligations. This was unlike her.

Adaki stared into her eyes, and she looked back. His hand slid down her face until he gripped her chin and jawline, exposing her neck and lips to him. His gaze dropped to her mouth. A chill traveled up her spine, overshadowing any grief she may have felt. It was replaced by an urgent need, the desire burrowing itself within her mind, eclipsing everything else.

Kiss me. If she could have thought straight, she might have considered that maybe he was clouding her mind and guiding her emotions. She may have demanded he leave and allow her to mourn her fallen lover, the other Sith Lord who died from her failure. Instead, the only thing that Nine could think about was the Sith Lord sitting next to her. Once again, she silently pleaded for him to kiss her.

“I can.” He stared into her eyes as he spoke. “You should be able to to. You reach out for the Force, grasping at nothing instead. Constantly and fruitlessly, you try to catch it. You are unaware of this? You are. It is such power. It calls to me. It is … seductive.”

His words traveled through her like the clear note of a tuning fork. The only thing she could feel was desire. Maybe, that’s what he was talking about. She had no experience to draw on nor anything to really compare it to.

All she knew was that he was the opposite of what she knew a Sith should have been. He cared — at least, when it came to her. Adaki was the first one who rushed to her after Jadus’ death, offering to travel with her and lend his aid, and who was she to refuse him.

Her mind felt dull once again, but she wouldn’t look away from him. He commanded her full attention much like her lover did. There was so many things about Adaki that reminded her of Darth Jadus, and it made it easier for her to let her guard somewhat down with him.

He was exciting to her, a breath into a dismal imperial life. She couldn’t deny the way sparks seemed to fly when he stared in her eyes nor could she deny the guilt burrowing deep within her gut. Her other lover’s death was too recent for her, to fresh in her mind.

What should I do? Nine was quickly becoming overwhelmed.

“You have power over it, even if you don’t know.” He bent his head forward and his mouth hovered before hers, the black tattoos revealing to be a dark gray with a splash of crimson flesh from his lips. “You are also reaching out to me, beckoning me, trying to overwhelm my senses. You aren’t doing that intentionally?”

“Doing what intentionally?”

“Making me want you.” The words should have served as a sobering slap to the face, but it had quite the opposite effect. She narrowed her eyes at him, sizing him up like prey. Her tongue darted across her lower lip briefly as she looked him up and down.

“You want me?”

“Absolutely.”

There was one hitch in his plan. His entrance made it so they were not alone. The door still lay against the wall. Cables still hung down from the entrance way, revealing where the door once was.

It appeared that wouldn’t deter him. Adaki leaned down and brushed her mouth with his, a soft gesture that she thought she had imagined until he deepened the caress. His fingers glided along her jawline, up to the side of her face until he lost his hands within her mass of hair. He grasped the dark strands and tilted her head back.

His lips did not leave hers throughout the entire time. He nibbled at her bottom lip, pulling the flesh between his teeth, before letting it go.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she could taste his minty toothpaste he had used previously that evening. . She closed her eyes. This wasn’t what she had planned when they had both retired to their separate rooms that evening, but if she were honest with herself, this was what she had wanted from the time they departed her ship and hailed that first taxi to the promenade.

Adaki pulled away. His mouth shimmered with her saliva before he ran the tip of his tongue over his bottom lip, still tasting her, but soon after that, he recomposed himself and she doubted that they even shared an sort of an embrace.

Nine was the first to speak. “Don’t stop.”

“There are more important matters to attend to, Cyn. Take that frustration you feel and use it to see to your revenge. Don’t let this cloud your purpose.”

#Writeblr #writing #fan fiction #angst #creative writing #swtor #swtor fan fiction #OC x OC #Sith Inquisitor #Imperial Agent #AU: canon divergent #fd: star wars #sithy tricks #fanfiction #fic: reflections #one shot: fodj

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alfredosauce50 · 4 years

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would you be down to do 2p china hc’s? im very curious on how you characterize him!

I’m down! I’m guessing you figured I had my own interpretation of the guy after I answered an ask saying I’d write for him. I really like 2p! China as a character, but I have to say, I haven’t properly written for him before. Nevertheless, I’ll give you my thoughts on him as a person!

2p! China Headcanons

Zao’s appearance doesn’t give away much of his personality. He’s got a bit of a baby face, and he has a sociable and pleasant demeanor for the most part. So if you didn’t know him well enough to see past those traits, you would be surprised at how shady he can be.

Appearance

Like his 1p counterpart, his dark brown hair goes past his shoulders and is tied back in a low ponytail. It’s pretty thin too, so it stays flat against his back. But that’s what makes it look so good. He isn’t the tallest guy out there, as he stands around 170cm or 5′7″. Doesn’t mean you can easily take him out in a fight, though. He’s quite slender, but he’s muscular and knows a few martial arts to boot.

He has a lot of tattoos, and he doesn’t try to hide them. He has dragons curling down his arms, as well as Chinese characters etched into his back. Most of the time, he wears traditional clothing, such as a sleeveless Tang suit, so his arms are exposed. It’s almost as if the colors black and red were made for him. And he knows it. So unless he’s having a bad day where he’ll go for a simple T-shirt, he likes to dress to impress. Not that he even needs to try.

He’s devilishly attractive, and the way he talks gets girls flocking to him.

Personality

Zao is very easy-going and open-minded. He’ll talk about anything with anyone. Everything is fascinating in a way, and nothing seems to faze him either. So he’s the type to question the most trivial things in life--or list drugs as casually as you would your favorite candy bars. It’s also difficult to shock him, or anger him. When life deals him a bad hand, or springs up inconveniences, he’ll go with the flow because that’s life. So unless something involves the person he likes, he keeps himself pretty level-headed.

With his willingness to talk about anything, comes his brutal honesty and bluntness. So sometimes, he’ll find himself offending people even if he never meant to. If he does this to women, they’ll slap him before storming off, leaving him in confusion at what he did wrong. But if he does this to men, he’ll have to be quick on his feet to escape a potential fight. Unlike a few other 2ps, he has a good temperament so he avoids violence, but he’ll resort to it if he absolutely has to.

Despite the careers he’s depicted to have, like being a drug-dealer, something in adult entertainment, night-life, or anything illegal, he has strong fraternal instincts. If somebody embodied the “big brother” trope, it would be him. He cares a lot for his younger siblings, and they look up to him as a role model. But he’ll always tell them, “Do as I say, not as I do!” As comfortable as he is in his own skin, his own identity, he wouldn’t want them taking after him.

He’s very flirtatious, and a huge tease. How he shows he likes you is through making you blush, or embarrassed. He’ll call you pet names. Shower you with compliments. Refer to you as if you and him are already an item. If you bumped into him at a grocery store, he’ll help you shop, then say, “So, is that all we need? I can’t wait for dinner tonight.” Zao is also unapologetically dirty-minded. He’s all about dirty jokes, conversations, and gestures. The bigger reaction he gets, the more addicting they are.

He doesn’t have any qualifications, not even a high school diploma, but he’s street-smart to make up for it. That’s how he makes so many connections and hustles his way up to the top in shady businesses. If you need something, anything, legal or illegal, expensive or cheap, you can ask him, and 99% of the time, he’ll say, “I know a guy.” If he likes you, all he wants in return is something perverted. A kiss, maybe. Or maybe your underwear.

Interests

He loves anything cute, and he doesn’t hide it. Sanrio is a must--he keeps a collection of their plushies, most of them being Hello Kitty, but he also likes other characters such as Cinnamoroll and Pompompurin. Sometimes, he can get a bit obsessive over whatever sells fast. So if he has to, he’ll stay up and keep refreshing the page selling whatever he has his eyes on. If he’s infamous for his connections that let him get pretty much anything he wants, surely he can get his hands on the limited-edition Hello Kitty-themed towel, right!? He isn’t against having other kinds of merchandise either, like household items, but he keeps it lowkey for functionality.

In his house, you’ll find a lot of imports from East-Asian countries. Not only is he used to using them when he was back in China, they’re better than what you can find in America. Or at least, in his opinion. This includes cosmetics, snacks, alcohol, and decorations.

Although he doesn’t have a lot of time to, he enjoys watching anime. That’s why he makes sure to get through the most popular and mainstream ones first.

Zao likes to keep connected with his culture. He doesn’t care to assimilate, and being ‘different’ doesn’t bother him at all--he thinks it’s what gives him a unique personality and background. Since he doesn’t have a lot of friends to speak Mandarin with, he’ll look for his neighbors who can, and strike up a conversation every now and then. As well as that, he’ll give his siblings red pockets for Chinese New Year so they can spend it on food, videogames or whatever they want.

He can’t cook for shit. Even then, he has strong opinions on food, especially Chinese. While he enjoys westernised take out like Panda express, he wishes people would stop assuming Chinese cuisine is just dumplings, fried rice, noodles and yum cha. They’re B-tier at best. For a country with that rich and long a history, there’s so much more to indulge in. Too bad he can’t make anything if he tried.

Psychology + romance

Zao is used to being a second choice. His cheerfulness and bluntness make other people think he’s creepy or weird, so he can’t quite wrap his head around somebody liking him to that degree--or getting particularly close to him. At least, emotionally. There are a lot of girls who want him for one-night stands. But this doesn’t stop him from flirting with someone he genuinely likes, even if he doesn’t expect anything in return. It’s fun because they get flustered, after all. But when they start returning the same energy, get persistent, or even make him suspect that they like him back, he will get nervous. He’s used to being the chaser, not the other way around. So if the tables turn and things start getting real, he will back away.

As confident as he is with his image, it’s difficult for him to get intimate with somebody romantically. He’s open, but can’t be vulnerable. He’d rather keep things casual, so when he really falls for someone, he’ll be conflicted between keeping things the way they are, or pursuing them.

Eventually, these feelings will deepen to the point being just friends becomes suffocating. That’s when Zao loses his cool and gets frustrated. It could happen due to a build-up of his emotions, or an event that makes him explode from jealousy. He’ll get desperate after so long of not doing anything and make it very clear he wants you. “Just date me already!”

When he finally gets together with you, prepare to be coddled. He’ll want to help you with anything the best way he can, and go to extreme lengths to do so. Nothing seems extreme when it’s for somebody he cares so much about. While he never holds it against you--how much he does for you--he may or may not guilt trip you into giving him more affection. But only subtly. Instead of him kissing you, he'll loiter around your presence until you kiss him. And when you do, he’ll smile like an idiot.

He never makes it explicit when he wants to take you out on a date. Zao will just ask you if you’re free, and take you out for the night. He doesn’t see a point in labelling it as a ‘date’, because he doesn’t just see quality time with you through a romantic and sexual lens. He values the friendship aspect of it as well, and you really appreciate him for it.

Zao loves to cuddle. He doesn’t hug you much throughout the day, but when you’re at home and about to sleep, he will hug you, a lot. He won’t let go while he talks to you, and will only loosen his coils when you fall asleep.

Acknowledgements

I was mainly inspired by the 2p! China in the story, “Dragon District”, written by xYourHero. So props to them. The fandom’s perception of him has definitely deepened because of it, and it’s great seeing underrated 2ps finally getting the attention they deserve! I’m one of the people who’s had my characterization of Zao take after hers, so I’ll also be crediting her for my headcanons.

You can find the story on DeviantArt, Archive of our own and Wattpad. I adored that fic back in the day. Such good memories. I wasn’t even writing back when I was reading it. Any who, let’s get right into it. I’ve divided the headcanons into subcategories, appearance, personality, interests, and psychology + romance.

(Look at this fanart is by Amphany on DeviantArt. It was drawn for xYourHero. I’m gonna put it here for reference. https://www.deviantart.com/amphany/art/Dragon-smoke-548426383)

#hetalia #hetalia headcanons #2ptalia #2p!china #2p china #2p china headcanons #2ptalia x reader #2pchina x reader #axis powers hetalia #Axis powers ヘタリア #hetalia fanfiction #hetalia fanfic #alfredosauce50 #ask

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dahniwitchoflight · 3 years

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man, a lot been happening on the internet lately, talking about content creators and parasocial relationships being a big topic recently

I almost don’t wanna post anything about it, cuz I’m not sure how to avoid any sort of stirring of the pot, but there’s an angle to this situation that I think a lot of people are confused about, and that’s “where does the fault lie when a person gets hurt in a parasocial relationship?”

And people I guess are thinking this is some sort of case of power dynamic’s, but I think thinking of it in these terms is incorrect to be perfectly honest

does a content creator seem to have a lot of sway over someone who’s fallen into a parasocial relationship with them? sure it can seem that way

but is that the content creator’s fault? No, as bad as that sounds to the tumblr crowd

this is NOT the power dynamic between an abusive father and their child, or a skeezy boss and their secretary, or any other real abusive power dynamic where the victim faces some sort of real consequence for not being compliant with the abuser’s wishes

this is the dynamic between a casino and someone with a gambling addiction.

can you argue that the gambling addiction/parasocial relationship wouldn’t exist without the casino/creator existing? sure you can

can you argue that it’s within the interests of the casino/content creator to get customers and fans? absolutely

but can you also say that the problem in the situation here is inherent to the person with the actual addiction problem here? someone who gets too invested in the scenario through their own desires and or addiction problems? That many people can go to a casino or be a fan of a person in a perfectly reasonable healthy amount and never get hurt or encounter any issues? Yeah

Even if you dislike the casino/creator and have hard feelings for putting you into a situation where you believed you were gonna win it all, even though the odds of that happening were never in your favor, and rightfully feel you’ve been victimized by them, the casino/creator existing and doing there thing I really don’t believe is the thing at fault here

I think there’s something to the idea that people who are vulnerable to addictions like gambling and thinking that theyll win the jackpot of millions against impossible odds is not too dissimilar from a singular fan of some content creator thinking, this is it, I’m the one theyll fall in love with over everyone else, against all the odds itll be me

and also whatever prevents them from realizing that the consequences of losing would apply to them as well, other people in the casino might lose all their savings, but it wont happen to me. Other people might get lost in the fantasy and then end up being dumped, but it wont be me

I think the brain juice would see these as very similar situations, and this addiction angle I think explains a lot for how people get into parasocial relationships in the first place and why they feel like it’s so hard to get out

but people are still free to believe that casino’s/content creators are morally corrupt institutions, just from their nature of the fact that their livelihood depends on people and fans crowding to their type of entertainment

At the end of the day, they cannot control what their fans are going to do, they can’t read the minds of anyone who chooses to come to their establishment, they can’t know at a glance or through conversation who’s going to get addicted and who isn’t, they can only see warnings signs after the fact and then damage control, it’s just a messy reality of life that it happens

There are best practices to prevent these types of things sure but those don’t catch every case and inevitably there are going to be people who fall through the cracks anyway

the correct approach here is to mitigate the addiction problem. that’s the real thing at fault here, not any one person

so to answer the question, where does the fault lie when someone gets hurt in a parasocial relationship?

you might be a victim yes, but not a victim of the casino, as much as it can feel like that, your a victim of an unfortunate affliction

people can be dismissive and yell all they want about alcoholics being drunks, or gamblers having no spine and should just be able to not go to a casino, or people who are overinvested fans should just be able to stop back and not care about a creator so much, but I understand that it’s not that easy

but it still doesn’t make it the fault of whatever you got addicted to, It doesn’t make it anyone’s fault, and the casino/creator has less power over an addicted individual than you think, short of banning them entirely, there isn’t much they can do from their end to mitigate an individual’s behavior, I think that is something some people need to hear, I hope people don’t think I’m callous or believe that people weren’t genuinely hurt by the events that happened to them or something

but the fix to this problem doesn’t lie on the casino’s/creator’s end, it lies in mitigating the addictive disorder in the individual’s in particular’s end

this is purely speaking from someone who runs a blog and has thoughts for a fandom that once upon a time a lot of people seem really invested in, (not so much nowadays lol)

I cannot control anyone of you, I don’t know any one of you, no matter how much I might try or get close or how close any person out there gets to me, I still can’t predict when I might encounter someone who seems overly starstruck, and in no way do I have the ability to navigate those kinds of relationships properly. I simply do not have that sort of therapeutic training and I think it’s a little bit unreasonable for people to expect that from me, despite how charismatic or not I seem like

I just have indeed had instances where another person got really overinvested in “Dahni Witch of Light” and wanted to be in my inner circle of socialness and friends and might have been hurt when I declined that, but at the same time, I can’t do anything about that (thankfully I’m not any sort of real popular LOL and it’s only really happened like once or twice, that I know of, since they made their feelings clear to me in private, but that’s still one or two people that might have gotten hurt)

So what does this all have to do with stuff?

I’ve read all the anecdotes about both Dan Avidan and Vinny Vinesauce, read all the docs, see all these people’s point of view, and yeah it sucks that they got hurt by the circumstances, but all that stuff meant to paint these people in a bad light? did more to me to paint them in a really good light

I saw nothing but people making sure they had the comfort and consent of everything they were involved in, doing best practices when it comes to relationships, talking about their feelings, about their expectations and also doing what they can to protect themselves and their privacy

again the worst things I saw about either of them, is danny building up the fantasy of being with a rockstar a bit too much, egging on any potential parasocial relationship issues that might have already existed, and vinny giving someone HPV (which, is debunked in of itself because that’s not how HPV works in men, even outside of vinny that’s just not how it works.)

the rest of all the stuff I saw esp in the vinny doc, was people not even accusing vinny of saying or doing anything wrong either, but miles and miles of “I assumed he was thinking x” or ”I assumed he was feeling y” and no attempts to communicate with him about any issues they had with him, because they felt awkward doing so, and instead let it fester inside them until they got hurt by it

this is not sexual assault, their mild discomfort about stuff never even happened over sexual topics, just bland things like him over-venting to them sometimes or having lowkey mental issues like being paranoid a little, this is not even being intentionally hurt by someone, this is being bad at communicating with your partner and letting yourself endure a relationship you weren’t actually happy with, because you didn’t want to get dumped by the person you were invested in

and if you feel like you can’t honestly communicate with your partner, not because of anything they did to you, but because of your own internal conflict over how famous he is, and feeling like you’re forced to endure things you aren’t vibing with in a personal relationship

(mind you, I mean the things they said they endured in the doc which was, they didn’t like when vinny would get ranty about his friends or previous sexual encounters he had that went bad or they got weirded out because they thought he was too paranoid about stuff when they were together....which... okay so like tell him you don’t want to hear about that stuff? communicate your problems to your partner? end of story? you never even attempted that, you never even gave examples of things you thought he would do to you other than dump you if you spoke up...... which, I’m sorry, but that’s not some sort of consequence a victim faces from their abuser.... so you can’t even say he would have had a bad reaction, especially when you give examples of him doing exactly the opposite, apologizing for things that made other people uncomfortable WHEN theyve actually communicated to him that they were uncomfortable with it)

-Those are signs that you are too overinvested and too parasocially invested with a person to have an honest relationship with them

like, heck these things aren’t even unique to partnerships, you should be able to communicate when anyone around you is making you uncomfortable, even friends, but if you can’t and the only reason you can’t is because of a parasocial investment in that person, that’s not healthy on your end

Danny sure seems to have been a little bit at fault for building up the fantasy of catching feelings for a famous dude when he intended one night stands, is that the best way to have navigated the situation? No probably not, but to a person who doesn’t have a parasocial relationship with him, this behavior would just be disappointing when the fantasy fizzled out, it’s not inherently harmful

after that point, if after the fact a person who had any sort of interaction with them felt hurt by the experience, there honestly is not much more a content creator could have done to mitigate that, in fact Vinesauce I think seems at least more aware of the parasocial thing and tried more strongly to vet the people he was with to not be those kind of people, but again people aren’t mind readers and nothing will ever be foolproof like that, and I guess some people even took him trying to vet that kind of behavior as hurtful in and of itself, (they took him venting about previous parasocial relationships he had and how paranoid and upsetting they were to him, and took it as some sort of threat against them personally, like they were trying to mindgame what exactly he was telling them, assuming he was saying something else that he wasn’t, which, is assumptions that live entirely in their own minds) but I’m just sitting here like, what else could they have done?

I get that people who had sexual relationships with these people could come away feeling really awful about it, feeling manipulated or duped in some way, but what else could have been done to prevent that from happening other than the people in question just, never interacting with anyone? Which is not a realistic solution, and doesn’t fix the problem of the victim in question moving on and getting starstruck by someone else and having it happen it all over again

If these people want to make friends, want to make relationships with anyone, want to have casual sex, want to have any sort of human connection, there unfortunately gonna have to sort the people they encounter into two different groups, people who have parasocial relationships with them and people who don’t, (and this is NOT people are fans of them and people who are not, you can be a fan and not get caught into the parasocial thing) and it is impossible to get this correct in every single individual social experience that theyre gonna have with every single individual human being, regardless if it’s a sexual relationship or not

in conclusion, I really do hope the people who were hurt by all this can truly heal and move on eventually from this, in no way am I trying to lessen their experiences, but I really don’t think other people deserved to be hung from the gallows over this, it’s no one person’s fault, neither the fan’s or the content creator’s, it’s just a messy interpersonal situation

I believe the correct thing to do is spread awareness about the warnings signs that you might be falling into a parasocial relationship, more effort needs to be put into what this looks like, what it feels like, how to avoid it, how to mitigate it, and how to regulate the very real feelings of love and affection someone might have for a person they see all the time in media but don’t have a real connection with, with the understanding of yeah, if you really can’t enter a casino without losing your life savings, a very real conversation needs to be had if you should even be entering these casino’s/watching their content at all

#my main conflict over this post is is this actually helpful at all or is this just hurting stirring things up more #I don't believe my position is an unreasonable one to have #and i do believe there is something to be gained from reading it #but i don't want to hurt anyone either

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themillsdaughter · 3 years

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Okay, so I have thoughts on the bensler reunion and feel like if I don’t write it somewhere, it’ll just become one of those subjects one ruminates over for the rest of their lives until they become bitter and old and shake their fist in silent rage.

Twitter is filled with people who haven’t watched it yet, hence me posting about this here after years of being inactive in this fandom. if anyone’s interested, I’d love to chat about this too, but in case it isn’t clear by now, major spoilers and unhappy ranting ahead.

Alright, first off, I feel like I should put a few disclaimers from the get-go: one, i have not watched the Organized Crime episode past the letter part bc who even has the energy, two, despite everything I say here, I do genuinely love the characters, and three, I was never, ever, ever fully on board with Stabler coming back. I thought it was a stupid idea since I first found out about it.

I mean, come on. It’s literally been ten years. Ten freaking years without any contact (do not get me started on that semper fidelis thing) and NOW they wanna bring him back? Now that Olivia is settled as the captain, now that she has moved on with her life and is finally as happy as she can? Are you kidding me? And not only that, I had a feeling the show wouldn’t handle all the emotional bagage as it should. SVU is one of my favorite shows, I’ve quite literally watched it for half of my life (even before I was even fluent in English). I love this show with a ferocity I can’t quite put into words, but it has, without a shadow of a doubt, been losing it’s power for at least a couple of seasons now, if not more.

As I said, I haven’t been participating in the fandom for some years, so I can’t speak as to why it’s been going a bit downhill, though I do have a suspicion that it has something to do with the fact that it’s been going on for, hahah, literally over two decades.

But anyways, that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to say here is that I thought it was stupid to bring Elliot back. The show doesn’t need him. It might need the drama, but absolutely not him.

Either way, since what I think has no actual implication in the serious world of tv dramas, it was happening anyway and the thirteen-year-old bensler shipper in me could not help herself. I had to watch it.

I expected to be angry, I expected Olivia to go against her better judgement at least once because he asked pretty please. I expected them to share at least one kiss.

Only one of those expectations wasn't met (to my delight).

Two minutes into the episode, I was already yelling at the TV because I swore she was going to hug him when she first saw him. Thankfully, that didn’t happen, but the eye contact was already too much.

But nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for Kathy’s part in this episode. She was hurt. Someone tried to kill her. Uh-uh.

Thinking from a creative point of view, it does make sense. She’s been his wife for god knows how many years now, he’s involved with some pretty big crimes, someone wanted to kill him, she was colateral. Beautiful, classic, awesome.

What does not make sense is how the episode was set up. WHY should we feel this anguish, this great sadness over Kathy? Sure, we’ve known about her for as long as Elliot was on the show, that is, since the very beginning. But, and I’m sorry to repeat this again, IT HAS BEEN TEN YEARS. The viewers attachment to Kathy is a very very thin thread.

And yes, I do understand that the point was to focus on Elliot’s loss, on his pain, his fear of losing his wife, the mother of his children. However, that wasn’t even properly done, either. Were they in love again? He said they were happy, but how so? Where were they at in their love story? Were they a family again, were they facing problems? Were they distant, but still married? The show didn’t answer any of that, so, when she passes (which, to be honest, was predictable), that’s that. She’s dead. Elliot cries, Liv’s in shock. Okay.

Granted, it was the very first episode of his return, I cannot speak over what will be revealed in later episodes of either shows, but I personally feel that we weren’t given enough to feel. It was all based on the expectation that we would remember everything that happened and that we would still have the same attachment to everything.

And now we get to the duo of the hour: Olivia still-in-love-with-the-same-man-who-abandoned-her-a-decade-later Bensler and Elliot agressive-man-but-with-a-tinsy-bit-of-more-control Stabler.

Here I do admit that part of my frustration is my own fault. I wished, prayed, hoped and desperately wanted Liv to get angry. To give him some sort of verbal smack-down for what he did. Yes, it makes perfect sense for her to just shut it out as best she can. It’s Liv we’re talking about, so that’s very in character for her, but it still didn’t give me the satisfaction I feel we deserved to see her tell him to go to hell. (Furthermore, I think it would have been a fantastic way to showcase how much she’s grown without him. Yes, she used to be soft with him, but now she’s assertive, she wants more for herself, she knows she deserved more than what he did).

The tears, the apology, the hug in the hospital.... it was all....fine. It was fine. It was them. It just lacked something more. It lacked some sort of spark.

Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to love their reunion despite myself. I wanted to be wrong and watch a beautifully executed, messy, sweet reunion of the ship which literally made me join fandom life, learn about fanfiction and learn English. I wanted that more than anything, but I didn’t expect it.

What I expected was exactly what I got. I smelled that scene of Elliot begging her to let him in the interrogation room, giving her those Puss In Boots eyes and Olivia just folding from the minute they announced his return. And it made me angry, because the whole message they’ve been sending us through all these seasons, of Liv growing into the main character, into someone who wasn’t El’s partner anymore, into a f***ing Captain was backpaddled real quick.

And yeah, there is something to be said about the effect he will always have on her, no matter how many years. But is that really what she, as a character, deserves? Is that even healthy?

I probably have more thoughts, but this is far, far too long already.

In general, the episode was fine. It wasn’t awful. it was also not great. Do I wanna watch the rest? No. Will I? Probably.

Oh, and just before I go: WHAT THE F*** WAS UP WITH FIN???? HELPING HIM OUT??? TELLING ELLIOT UNSOLICITED INFORMATION ABOUT LIV’S LIFE??? ABOUT HER LOVE LIFE??? Yeah, sure, he was a bensler shipper, whatever, but excuse me??? You’ve actively participated in her life for twenty years and think it’s healthy to try and make her patch up with a man who just, in her own words, DISAPPEARED?

Love the dude, wanted Olivia to yell at him too.

Anyways, if anyone made it this far and feels like talking about it, I am absolutely open to that.

#bensler #svu #olivia benson #elliot stabler #rant #bensler reunion

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themilky-way · 4 years

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like water {din djarin}

gif credit: no-droids

pairing: the mandalorian/din djarin x fem!reader

summary: when the one person he cares about is threatened, he lets himself indulge in the aftermath of defending them.

warnings: some violence in the beginning, choking (not in the fun way), depictions of scratches, punches, and minor abrasions; the reader is hurt basically. oh and mando’s gun bc yeah❤️umm that’s it i think? nothing too horrible tho but if this thing triggers you, please don’t read !!

author’s note: not to be conceited or anything (is that even the right word for it lol?) but im super proud of how this turned out! requests are open btw for anyone who wishes to submit anything (if unsure, just ask which fandoms)!

----------

cyar’ika-> darling, sweetheart

nothing in that exact moment had made much sense. one minute the most precious thing to ever exist to him was snatched away, and the next his hands were gripping the treasure beneath his holster. his knuckles were lily-white at this point, holding the gun as hard as his body would allow him to without crushing underneath him, and the urge to cock it made him visibly shake. he’d been given a command, and out of all the merciless men in the filthy galaxy, he needed to follow it, so his weapon of preference stayed where it needed to.

the meager specks of emotion that still lived within him betrayed his prominent composure, the view in front of him blocked by the sudden glaze of his eyes. the small drops of saltwater puddled together in his now hazy orbs, holding on until it was nearly impossible to stay put and then rivered down his cheeks. the cause? well, you.

you were filling up the mandalorian’s line of vision, his eyes darting between you and the bounty that had gone wrong. an alienated hand was wrapped around your innocent throat, your feeble hands wrapped around its wrist in a dumb attempt to break free. the ground you were roaming on before appeared to be never ending, and in the same way, the darkened sky absorbed you whole. vertigo was now in full effect; any quick movement caused you to shut your eyes tightly and hope to the maker you’d get through it. it took a few seconds for you to regain your balance, a sharp pain pinging around your neck forcing you to find it. you half expected to be back on the mud again, to have the man you had spent the past year flying around with pulling you to safety. instead, you found din frozen in place, an instinctive action rooted in the steel handle of his pistol. he wasn’t moving, too scared to blink as if you’d disappear if he did.

perhaps you were; someone like you seemed too good to be true. in all actuality, it may be that you were a fever dream, a celestial that had come down from the sanctity of your home to finally rescue him from his burdens. amidst his frantic glances, he reminisced every second he’d spent with you since your unforeseen arrival, and that somehow worked for him. the gears in his brain started to turn again, and with every ounce of his strength, he pounced on the quarry and did what he should’ve done the instant you were taken from him. anger took over his worry, the effects illustrating themselves in a collage of mitted fists and blood. the pistol residing on din’s waist was useless compared to his hits; the softened position of his jawbone was locked firmly as a result of his gritted teeth and he was going to need more than your delicate hand on his shoulders to ground his senses.

the mandalorian never expected to succumb to anyone, nor to feel remotely joyful upon hearing someone’s laugh. the idea of kindling a relationship was ludicrous, utterly impossible if only he weren’t bound to the chains of his creed. oftentimes, he wondered if someone would one day traverse his path and make him question every moral he’d been taught. din had dismissed the thought, as any other member of his intricate society would have, but the wondrous insight depicting a different lifestyle always lingered faintly in his mind.

today, the very same visions behind his recurrent insomnia framed themselves in a frail art piece. din’s focus laid directly ahead, the fingers navigating the center controls as tight as they’d been on his gun. his eyes deserved to rest, perhaps take in the splashes of color nature was offering him, but he landed them on the same lovely sculpture adorning his cockpit.

you were seated in the chair adjacent from the pilot’s, with your knees closely tucked to your chest. one large scrape designed itself on your leg-a dull reminder of the ordeal you were involved in hours earlier-with flakes of arid blood protecting the wound. bouncing off the skin of your throat were shades of red and purple, now properly mixing into a deeper complexion that’d require you to hide it for some time. besides the scattered nicks living on your face, and the other couple dozen on your arms and legs, the outcome wasn’t as terrible as the one your attacker received. it was a rule of thumb to not mess with a mandalorian, much less with the pretty little lady clutching his arm as if it were second nature. the foolest of fools wouldn’t even have done such a foul thing, and this particular creature came to know the punishment for harming what wasn’t rightfully his.

it truly amazed him; the way you seemed to be so unphased by a traumatic circumstance. the woman beside him-the same one who couldn’t sleep unless a window was open-had endured pain, and the marks on her skin proved themselves in jagged indications of it. through the darkened screen of his visor, din could make out your hands neatly intertwined around your folded knees, your chin simultaneously resting on top. you’d been as observant as you always were, hardly missing his actions as he navigated his newfound family to a safe stop. sure, you were unaware of the loving term he considered of you and the baby, but it didn’t hurt to keep it a secret, right?

“hey.” it came out more hoarse than he intended it to, but the emotion behind it flowed out nonetheless. “you okay?”

not really. i don’t feel good. it was easy to say exactly that, to speak the truth, but it was even easier to lie. for the sake of his own worry, at most. your eyes were still glued to his armor, taking in the rough outline of where you imagined his skin would be underneath, or moreso the abstract idea of feeling it with your hands. reflections of your yearning came and went like the mandalorian’s missions, almost impulsively at times, and the curious, teasing tilts his helmet would bid you only encouraged that craving. much like now; the black “T” of his expressionless face leaned to the side, asking you to earnestly respond. “mm, yeah. ‘m kinda tired, though,” you mumbled.

you threw him a lie and he caught it. “don’t lie to me.” din swiveled his chair to accordingly match the peripheral of yours, his elbows coming to rest on top of his beskar-clad legs. “can you look at me?” he inquired softly. then, his intent fell on the slow shift of your head and how it turned to face him, your cheek settling on your unscathed knee. a breath fell from his lips at the doting admiration swimming in your stare. “there she is,” he confirmed with an upward curl of his lips. “is there anything i can do?” it was sincere; a genuine concern to accompany his question. you hummed in response, fearful to accidentally voice the confessions you hid from him. you blinked once, twice, until his question became a plea. “please, cyar’ika.”

reasonably, you were too busy exploring the shape of his helmet, permitting your creative imagination to paint images of the man next to you; so when your ears perceived his sudden name of endearment, there was nothing amongst the stars that you could’ve possibly denied him from. “you’ve never called me that before,” you smiled, all big and brilliant.

“i’ve wanted to,” the man replied. what resembled ages of pent up stress released with a few curated words. his muscles relaxed, something he never believed to be attainable given his vigorous profession. “god, i’ve wanted to.”

he followed it with a humble laugh. a sound so familiar and warm, so genuine that it empowered your grin to spread higher. “by all means, keep saying it.” now it was your turn to nervously giggle, and him who embraced the noise with everything he could. a mutual infatuation, so wonderfully obvious, yet it was refused acknowledgment. “i think there is something you can do, though.” silence advised you to continue, “can i sleep with you tonight?”

the misguided pieces of your minds’, maybe even your souls’, reattached themselves that very same night. as the both of you slept, hands, calloused and smooth, intimately merged against the cushions of the warrior’s bed. tender kisses planted to your forehead left electricity in their wake, and the dark ambiance of his dwelling favored the entanglement of your tired bodies.

“i wish i could see you, din,” you sighed. the manner in which it was expressed, full of sleep and everything akin, urged him to lift your weightless wrist to his lips.

“you’ll get to one day, cyar’ika. for now just let me hold you, yeah?”

#not me writing fanfiction better than ap literature essays #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian #din djarin x reader #din djarin x y/n #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin #star wars #pedro pascal #my writing!

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averytinyelephant · 4 years

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damn the heavens

Author’s note: This is my gift for @tog-secret-santa! (This is my first time participating in an event for a fandom, and it’s been really fun, so thank you to the mods!!!) This gift is for @pi-a-ia (who’s art is amazing, go check it out!!). I tried incorporating all of your wishes in this fic, so I hope you like it! [Contains spoilers for the anime and anyone who hasn’t caught up to chapter 193 (Season 2, Ep. 113) of the manhwa.] Fandom: Tower of God (Read the Webtoon here!) Pairing: Khun Aguero Agnis/The Twenty-Fifth Baam

Summary: After the end of the Workshop Battle, Baam stares at the sky. Khun may not have the courage to chase the stars, but maybe he can carve Baam a path of light to reach them.

Gif credits to @edo-taichou.

THE WINNING TEAM OF THE WORKSHOP BATTLE IS: TEAM SWEET & SOUR

There’s silence for one short moment. Then, an explosion of cheers.

Khun breathes a sigh of relief.

Finally, everything’s back as it should be.

—

There’s celebrations. Drinking, yelling, partying— Khun doesn’t really care for any of it. And from the looks of how he can hardly keep his eyes open, Baam doesn’t either.

“Baam, let’s go get some rest.” Baam blinks a few times at the proposal, likely not used to being called by that name again yet, but gives Khun a soft, grateful smile. “Okay,” he agrees simply, “please ask Rak-ssi too. He must be tired too.”

Khun clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes exaggeratedly at the mention of the gator, and it’s worth it for the bright peal of laughter it pulls from Baam. He agrees with a nod as Baam makes his way to their room.

They spread out a few blankets on the floor and gather three pillows to rest their heads. It’s makeshift and shabby, nothing like FUG’s luxury beds and the expensive bedsheets Khun can afford, and everyone’s still celebrating loudly in the other room.

All three of them are fast asleep in minutes.

—

When Baam wakes up, it’s to loud snoring and a heavy weight on his chest.

He blinks at the ceiling a few times before sitting up, gently sliding the still-snoring Rak off of his chest.

I… made it back.

He steals a glance at Khun wrapped up in his blanket. The way they both sleep suits them: Rak is splayed out and snoring open and carefree, Khun is turned away and closed into his blanket. Both of his hands are hidden under it as he holds the pillow under his head— does he still sleep with a knife in hand? His hair doesn’t look as disheveled as it should after sleeping for so long, so he must not have moved very much, which makes it possible that he does.

That... Baam feels a little twinge in his chest at that. What had Khun’s life been, before they met and these years they’d been apart, to make him so afraid? Suddenly, he wants to... Baam can’t really tell, but reach out, maybe, make Khun feel safe and happy— and wow, when did Khun get so close? Baam jerks his head back, pulling his hand from where it was about to land in Khun’s soft blue hair. Khun needs his rest, Baam decides, and he doesn’t want to wake him up.

He steps outside softly, checking his Pocket as he leans on the balcony and looks up at the false sky. He has a message from Endorsi that reads: Meet me at the gate by 2 PM. If you don’t, I’ll kill you.

Baam just laughs.

—

Shibisu and Wangnan drag everyone into the main room to play drinking games. Khun’s about to make his escape like the last time, but is dragged into it anyway when Baam asks him to stay, since it’s the last night before Shibisu’s team leaves for the next floor. That bastard knows what he’s doing right now, Khun realizes quickly: his eyes are shining with mirth after intentionally making a show of asking him to stay and play with them.

Khun sighs in defeat, sitting next to Baam on the floor in the crooked circle everyone’s formed. Baam gives him a bright, guileless smile and Khun suddenly has a very personal understanding of how much his own snark must irritate people (this, however, does nothing to curb how much he’ll be using it in the future). Khun’s not a fan of alcohol or getting drunk in general, and if he remembers right, Baam is a terrible lightweight. It doesn’t take much sleight of hand to swap the nearest bottle for a non-alcoholic substitute from Khun’s lighthouse.

Baam takes a sip and gives Khun a curious look, and Khun leans into him and whispers, “If I’m going to get dragged into this, I might as well get some good blackmail.”

Baam giggles and nods at him in agreement when Wangnan interrupts loudly, “Viole! Khun! You want to share what’s so funny with the rest of us?”

Baam blushes down to his neck and violently shakes his head, and Khun takes the bottle from him to take a swig from it before answering, “I don’t know, have you managed to pick a game for us to play or did you gather us all here just to watch you argue until we all get drunk?” Wangnan deflates quickly and Baam has to quickly hide a snicker (“Seriously, Viole?!”) before Shibisu snarks back, “Do you have one to suggest then?” “Unlike you, I spend my time doing useful things, not drinking myself silly.” “He totally just can’t think of one,” Prince interjects with a sneer. Hatz adds, “Earrings is just too much of a coward to admit that he doesn’t have any friends to drink with.” “You want to say that to me again, Hara-kiri?” “Do your stupid earrings keep you from hearing me properly?” “If you want me to kick your ass that badly, you can just ask.” “Can’t you two just drop this for one night?”

They eventually agree on Truth or Dare, and while Khun does get the blackmail he was looking for, he (along with Goseng and Baam) gets stuck with the job of ferrying people back to their rooms for the night so that they don’t just stay passed out on the floor of the main room (at Baam’s request). Baam laughs at Khun grumbling as he’s stuffing a snoozing Endorsi in his lighthouse, and Khun delights in Baam’s yelp as he hops onto the side of his Blue Shield without warning, causing him to almost drop Prince and Ehwa.

Khun has to admit, this was a lot of fun.

—

Baam asks Khun to help him cut his hair. Khun agrees.

As Khun takes his long hair in hand, Baam sheepishly apologizes for not following Khun’s advice for talking proper care of his hair. It pulls a shocked laugh from Khun; he hadn’t remembered giving him that lecture at all until now, and he waves away the apology.

“I’m sure you have plenty of good excuses,” he reassures, “but I’ll be holding you to it from now on.”

Baam smiles brightly, nodding so vigorously that Khun has to remind him to keep his head still and then stifle a laugh at his embarrassment. Baam’s hair smells like blood and screams and tears and loneliness, eight years too much of it to ever be washed out, and when Khun cuts off everything below his neck all in one go, Baam heaves a sigh of relief, one Khun guesses is the first in years.

After it’s done, Baam looks up at the false sky.

—

A month. It’s been a month since the workshop battle ended.

Baam came back to the us. We passed the test without any problems, and earned the right to go up to the next floor. Everything seems to have worked out well, but in fact, this is only the beginning. Emily disappeared from the Archimedes. Where could she be now and what is Cassano planning to do with her? And most importantly… where is FUG? They tried to set me up.

Apple, Micheal,… …and Rachel.

“I want to hear more stories about… what the Outside of the Tower is like.”

I won’t let them get away with this. Even if Baam tries to stop me, I will get her.

—

Baam’s late to the meeting Hwaryun scheduled. Khun teases him lightly about it, but Ehwa tells him later that she found him looking up at the false sky, some nonsense about a fairy tale someone told him about the sky.

“You must be glad,” Hwaryun taunts him, “Now, you have more time to find Rachel.” Khun only turns his head enough to meet her eyes.

“Did you think I wouldn’t know that you’re making a team to find Rachel, behind Viole’s back? The reason why you calmly accepted my suggestion was that you thought it would be a burden to go up the Tower with Viole right now, right?”

“You are trying to kill the girl who used to be your best friend’s everything. If Viole finds out, how will he act towards you?”

He makes an agreement to meet in a year at Train City, a smile plastered on his face. He hides his teeth, because the backs of them taste like lies. That’s to be expected: he’s been cut and carved from lies— he learned how to make and break trust before learning how to keep it, to hide the truth with locks and traps and smoke and screens until it damn well doesn’t exist anymore.

When he offers his hand to shake, it’s a calculated risk: he may be made of lies, but people trust you more if you seem non threatening and vulnerable. As Khun shakes his hand, he keeps his other hand in his pocket to keep the decks of cards he has hidden up his sleeve from slipping.

They fall anyway, because of course they do.

They always have, whenever Baam’s involved.

—

Khun feels his skin crawl restlessly like a billion tiny sweetfish swimming through all of his cells, only getting more intense with each step he takes towards his room. He looks out of the open hallway at the false sky, Hwaryun’s taunts coming to mind, and he’s filled with rage so white-hot and primal that it almost surprises him.

Baam’s still chasing after Rachel, he’s known that — he didn’t even need Baam to tell him to know that because he understands, he understands that Baam’s doing what he never did. Hwaryun’s probably allowing it because it gives her an excuse to force him to grow stronger for whatever purpose FUG needs Baam to fulfill, and she was right, he needed the extra time in order to—

She’d called him Viole, she’d called Baam her god. Khun’s almost as disgusted at her as he is at himself, but he’s never claimed not to be a hypocritical asshole.

Khun knows that there’s forces much greater than him at play here; he’s made that mistake once: he’d believed that any floor test was simple enough to plan and slash his way through, he’d believed the Tower and all of its gods were small enough to contain in his hands.

He doesn’t care. He’d like to not ever have to hear that shit again.

False kings, false gods, false stars lighting up false skies — Khun’s sick of all of it.

—

Before they leave the Wolhaiksong resort that night, Baam checks his inventory to make sure he has everything he needs. He finds three large books he’s never seen before. They have similar fancy leather covers with elegantly minimalistic yet intricate engraving. They look like they’re very old, older than he can even imagine, he realizes on a closer look, since they look like that after being preserved with Shinsu. Out of curiosity, he opens one to a random page.

He’s faced with charts and diagrams of great clouds of light, explanations too dense for him to make sense of at the moment, but there’s lots of blue annotations in a handwriting that looks very familiar for one he’s never seen before. He opens the others to other random pages and finds that they’re all the same way, filled with the same familiar annotations in all kinds of colors, contrasting the old black print of the books. Baam realizes in awe that the books are about stars, pages and pages full of skies and stars, and they’re real.

”Stars are just a legend. Even if you go up, the only thing you’ll reach is this floor’s roof. That blue sky is created by shinsu, and the bright thing at night is just a light ball. I heard there are stars in the Outside world, but they don’t exist, at least, not here in the Tower.”

He can feel shock pricking at his eyes, and looks again at the covers of the book for a title, a name, anything—

and feels tears run down his face.

FROM THE LIBRARY OF KHUN EDUAN.

#i experimented a lot with my style here and i think i like it a lot #lots of scenes in tog are really really dense and you have to pick them apart a lot when youre reading so heres my process of doing that #plus some of my own stuff sprinkled in #and im sorry for how late in the day this is i had some personal complications with posting #khun aguero agnis #the 25th baam #khunbam #team baam #team sweet and sour #tower of god #vi writes #tog secret santa

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starkerintheparker · 4 years

Text

starker reclist - AUs

Hey guys! Welcome to the second part of my personal Starker reclist, dedicated to AUs. Last week I posted my canon-based recs, you can find them here.

I tried to incorporate as many tropes as I could, hoping everyone will find something special within their interests. There are a few a/b/o and underage fics, all properly tagged in case anyone wishes to avoid them. I also tried to highlight soulmate AUs because I reckon it’s a somewhat popular trope. Enjoy! ❤️

Last updated: April 25th, 2020. All new fics added will be marked with ***

• 007 AU by @darker-soft-starker (T, 4k, completed)

Summary: Undercover and bored at an art auction, Tony finds entertainment in Peter Parker.

Review: Look, I’m a simple woman. Daniel Craig has owned my ass ever since Casino Royale and I was reading 00Q and Hartwin before I even shipped Starker. Point is, I like spy movies, ok?! So naturally I couldn’t leave this fic out of my reclist. I you need further incentive, consider this quote: “What, a little late night espionage not romantic enough for you?” Peter retorts, whipping a pistol out from his jacket and aiming it at Tony’s chest.

• 3 Times I Told You I Loved You & 1 Time You Said It Back by @starkeristheendgame (E) background Peter/Steve, Peter/Bucky, Peter/Scott

Summary: Peter Parker confesses his love to Tony Stark three times. Once at ten, once at fifteen and once at twenty. Finally convinced that Tony will never love him back, Peter ventures out into a different path, desperate to find the love he seeks from someone else. But you know what they say about star-crossed lovers.

Review: This lovely fic holds a very special place in my heart. I’m so invested I decided to wait until it’s finished so I can read it all in one sitting. Peter’s longing and heartbreak hurt my poor soul but I trust Jensen to give me that promised Starker endgame - I know it will be glorious when it finally comes.

• A Night on the Town by @scarletmanuka1 (G, 2.3k, completed)

Summary: Nightclub AU. Years after the events of Endgame, Tony has hit rock bottom. The Snap left him crippled, Pepper has abandoned him and has taken Morgan with her, and he's feeling old and lonely. Peter arranges a night out at the nightclub that he works at to try and cheer Tony up.

Review: I love get together fics, especially if it involves oblivious!Tony getting his shit together and going after his man. Seeing him bitter and broken after Thanos was hard, but special kudos to IronBros moments because that friendship is true goals!

• Age of Adeline by @starkerforlife6969 (completed) background Harley/Peter, Bucky/Peter, Wade/Peter

Review: I’d never in a million years think about this movie as a Starker AU but gosh, this is everything I needed in my life and it completely devastated me but I loved every minute of it. As a devoted monoshipper, I was surprised to realize that I got emotionally involved with all pairings, even more so with Starker, which totally paid off. Gorgeous, powerful and heartfelt. God bless SFL.

• assume makes ass for u and me by @pretty-well-funded (M, 1.6k, completed) tw underage

Summary: In Tony’s defense, he was sure the kid was a rent boy.

Review: This 1.6k fic caught me completely off guard and now I’m crying because I need MORE. I love the premise, the dialogue is criminally good, their voices are amazing and I can’t get enough of cheeky!Peter charming Tony with his wit and filthy mind.

• Bamf!secretary Peter by @starkerforlife6969 (M, completed)

Review: Who could ever resist some corporate espionage drama with bamf!Peter leaving Tony speechless and horny? Not me. I’d read more 30k of this verse because competent, sassy Peter Parker is such a kink, omg.

• Biker!Tony by @starkerforlife6969 (T, completed) Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Review: Same age AUs are not usually my thing but I can’t resist cute high school sweethearts written by this fandom goddess. Plus, protective!Tony calling Peter “doll” does things to my heart - and Peter’s.

• Breaking Character by @cagestark (E, 8.3k, completed)

Summary: Tony Stark, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and spy for SHIELD. Working with another SHIELD spy, the infamous Spider, he will take down an infamous human trafficking ring in New York. But the act they have to put on will demand more from Tony than he ever thought he'd have to give. Not that he minds.

Review: The spy trope seriously needs more fic like this one, because I’ll have bamf!Peter lying back to save his country while Tony freaks out any day. Cage hits the perfect balance between plot building, fantastic sexual tension, clever dialogue and the hottest smut sequence. What a ride! (Pun intended).

• Curiosity Killed the Cat by @areluctantsblog (T, 1.5k, completed)

Summary: Peter has been modelling in an art school for years. He's used to strangers' eyes roaming his body - clothed or naked - and he knows that it's not him they are looking at. Not him who they are interested in. He's just a model, a tool for their work. And for a long time he doesn't notice the one pair of eyes that, despite seeing him but rarely, is looking right at him.

Review: Very soft and atmospheric, this fic left me in a bit of a daze and it took me a while to realize it was over. Great writing will do that to you.

• Detective!Tony, Graffiti Artist!Peter by @starkerforlife6969 (M, completed)

Review: Oh don’t mind me, just appreciating this author’s talent at writing from the filthiest smut to the softest “Tony saves Peter in all ways that matter” like this ficlet. We stan.

• Eat at Pete’s by feyrelay + glorious art by @peachbabypie (E)

Summary: Peter gives him an unimpressed look, “If you didn’t do your work, then you wouldn’t be able to earn my time though, would you?” Pfft. “Kid, I have more money than god. I can splurge on your delicious pancakes and attention, trust me,” Tony informs him loftily. Peter smiles that wicked, crooked little smile that's just for him. It's not even and perfect like his the-customer-is-always-right one that's more frequently on offer. “I didn’t say you couldn’t afford it. I said you wouldn’t have earned it.”

Review: How can we ever say no to dom!Peter putting Tony in his place and hopefully on his dick + Tony loving every second of it?? Their dynamics are fantastic and that TASTY COUNTER DIALOGUE KILLS ME. EVERY TIME. Check it out and come scream with me: sub!Tony rights :D

• Fire and Ice by LeafyGreenQueen773 (M, 3k, completed) Soulmate AU

Summary: AU where when someone writes on his or her skin, the same thing shows up on their soulmate in the same place as a Mark that fades away in a few hours.

Review: This was the first Starker soulmate fic I’ve read and it made my heart ache so soft and good. Lovely and bittersweet, quiet and painfully honest.

• Genius, Acrobat, Playboy, Philanthropist by @scarletmanuka1 (E, 28k, completed)

Summary: After Peter's aeriel acrobatics partner, Adrian Toomes is fired from The Avengers Circus Troupe for theft, he is shocked to discover that his replacement is non other than legendary performer, Tony Stark - the man that Peter had hero worshipped since he first learned how to tumble.

Review: After reading this fic I realized I need more Circus AUs in my life. I could read jealous idiots falling in love while doing beautiful acrobatics for the rest of my days. Original plot, nice character development and I really appreciated how the author inserted little canon things here and there.

• Happy to Disappoint by @deaded-blush (M, 60k, completed) tw underage, domestic violence

Summary: Adrian Toomes is in quite deep with notorious mob boss Tony Stark. But when Tony comes to collect the debt owed, he's surprised to discover Toomes has an adoptive son. The chance meeting changes the direction of both their lives...

Review: Hands down one of the best Mafia!AUs I’ve ever seen. Read it all in one sitting and by the end I was SHOOKETH and utterly obsessed with this story. Nothing about it is okay so brace yourself for whump!Peter and lots of h/c. Bonus points for an incredibly satisfying ending that will make you gasp out loud.

• Hey Baby, Slip between my Beta-Pleats and get to know my Alpha-Helix? by @starkerforlife6969 and @darker-soft-starker (E, 37k, completed) A/B/O

Summary: Even though Tony can't tell the difference between Manolo Blahnik and Jimmy Choo, Peter really has no other choice. His heat is around the corner, so even though he loathes the party-going, booze drinking, smug playboy know-it-all that is Tony Stark. He'll just have to do.

Review: I can’t believe life went on as we know it (or did it??) after these two geniuses wrote together. This is the Starker version of “enemies to lovers” we all wanted and deserve, where spoiled-bratty-posh princess Peter finds the perfect balance for his chaotic energy in goofy-unapologetic-charming playboy Tony. Their falling in love is just so tender, so genuine and so good, it’s impossible not to cheer for these two sweethearts through this delightful, carefully crafted story.

• If you let me by @css1992 (E, 12k, completed)

Summary: Peter had tried dating younger guys, but it just didn’t do it for him. They were often too eager, too fast, too rough. Just too young, in general. Not that older men couldn’t be too much, too, Peter learned it the hard way. The man looking back at him from across the room seemed like a good one. He knew he shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but he was gorgeous. Possibly the most handsome man Peter had ever seen in his short life.

Review: I remember the first time I read this fic it hit me in such a powerful way I cried a bit and was too overwhelmed to do words and tell the author just how much I loved it. But I never forgot this fic or the way it made me feel. It’s so evocative, so sexy, so raw, so heartbreaking, so sweet and so gentle. Great atmosphere, even greater characterization and some of the hottest smut I’ve ever read. Treat yourself and check this out right now.

• I’ll be Home by @starkerforlife6969 (M, completed) A/B/O

Summary: The story starts when Soldier Tony comes home for a few days, and is introduced to the love of his life.

Review: Will I ever stop reccing SFL’s works? Maybe, but today is not the day. This gorgeous, breathtaking fic attacked me in my own house during Christmas day and made me cry like a baby. I’m a sucker for reunion stories - the longing, the heartbreak, the power of endurance. This fic reminded me that no matter how long or difficult the journey, love will always find a way.

• Little Spider by @stfustucky (iwillpaintasongforlou) (E, 5k, completed)

Summary: Peter Parker is one of the country's best hitmen, known in the underworld as the Little Spider. He spends his days in the lap of luxury with his billionaire fiance Tony Stark, and his nights doing dirty work for various shady characters. Life is good, right up until someone puts out a hit on Tony and wants Peter to pull the trigger. It... might be time for them to have a talk.

Review: Omg this fic was so deliciously good in a totally surprising and sexy way. Bamf!Peter took my breath away with the perfect balance between his two personas. Tony getting off on that sheer power and confidence is a BIG MOOD and my second favorite thing in this fic. The first being the badass power couple they make.

• love somebody like you (E) by @intoxicatelou

Summary: five times Tony was Peter’s roommate and one time he was his soulmate instead.

Review: Who doesn’t love some forced proximity mixed with the unbeatable soulmate trope? This plot is the hottest take and my heart cannot handle young!Tony with his brilliant mind and sassy charm protecting and flirting with Peter, unfff feels everywhere *cries in Starker*

• Love Thy Neighbour by @darker-soft-starker (T, 2.3k, completed)

Summary: Tony's new neighbour is kinda weird.

Review: I know I keep saying that same age!AUs are not really my thing but I’m the softest bitch for feel-good, cozy domesticity, and I love how this charming story shows that ordinary life become magical when shared with someone special. I could babble all night about how eccentric and confident Peter seduces our man of science that for once has absolutely no idea of what’s going on - but you really should see it for yourself right now :)

• Mafia Boss!Tony Break Up Make Up by @starkerforlife6969 (E, completed)

Review: Man, this fic was so rude to my heart. The heartbreak, the rough sex, the guilt, the hopeful make up, the gorgeous ending. My body literally cannot take the stress, why are Mafia AUs so doomed and beautiful and more importantly, why is SFL so good at writing them???

• Microcosm Series by @bloomblood (M, 32k) tw underage

Summary: Tony and Peter become each other’s heroes after the Snap, saving themselves before they offer aid back to the world.

Review: I haven’t read many post-apocalyptic fics but this series’s raw atmosphere sucked me in. I adore the quiet intimacy, the slow and tentative healing, and all the silent and complex emotions underneath apparent simplicity. Big aesthetic mood, just as its lovely author.

• Musechaser by @nightskygardenia (M, 10.5k, completed)

Summary: Eighteen year old art student Peter Parker is desperately searching for his muse, someone who can bring his creative skills to the next level through inspiration. Lucky for him, his next class just so happens to feature a gorgeous model by the name of Tony Stark, a man Peter's convinced is his muse, to the point of staying after class to ask for private modeling sessions.

Review: Another big aesthetic mood, this fic paints a gorgeous imagery. I love the setting, the slow pace and the building anticipation until the sexual tension finally breaks. Peter is adorable and Tony exudes confidence; their voices are spot on and their chemistry is palpable and intense.

• My Best Friend’s Dad by @darker-soft-starker (M, 17.6k, completed)

Summary: Peter is home for the summer, back from his first year away at college. Having stayed over at Harley's house every weekend since they were fourteen, he never used to think much of his friend’s dad. A few years worth of college experience has Peter noticing Tony in a different way. This time, Tony notices him back.

Review: Turns out that Tony Stark being a dad and a daddy is too much for my body. I worship this fic. I wanna get married to it and have its babies. No words will ever make it justice *sobs* no but seriously, secret relationship is a perfect Starker trope and this one will take you to the edge of your seat until the very end. A+ characterization, lovely build up, infuriating cliffhangers and the wholesome happy ending we all deserve. This is the kind of fic that leaves you a bit depressed once it’s over, because you suddenly realize you’ll never read it for the first time ever again. So get to it and make sure to enjoy every second!

• One Call Away by @readysetstarker (E)

Summary: Tony didn’t need the phone sex gig. He was more than well off, his own sex life was in great shape, but damn, there was just something about listening to someone else get off to his voice.

Review: Omg who could ever resist sex hotline + daddy kink + identity porn? Dev is coming after our own hearts and bodies with this hot combo. I love the balance between their cute chemistry and the hot phone sex, plus the identity porn is deliciously fun. I was so happy to know this fic is getting longer than the author had previously anticipated because I’m definitely not ready to let it go.

• Open Road by @starkerflowers (E, 2.5k, completed)

Summary: It’s not love, but it’s good. TW: implied abuse (not between Tony/Peter); bruises/violence; panic attack.

Review: This refreshing not-quite-a-love-story will capture your heart, make it hurt, make it ache, make it hope and finally, make it heal. This fic is so gorgeously written I honestly cannot rec it enough. Yes, it’s dark and angsty, but it’s also gentle, hopeful and deeply evocative.

• Panty Raid by @starkerforlife6969 (M, completed) A/B/O

Summary: Imagine Tony being forced to do a panty raid as an initiation for his fraternity. So Tony, keeping up his playboy appearances, sneaks into the omega dorms. And he sees sweet innocent Peter who is so alarmed by the alphas raiding their dorm Tony can’t help but comfort him.

Review: Unf this fic is just too charming and cute, my heart cannot take it. Frat stories are so fun they make me forget my preference for age gaps and realize I could read more 50k of protective young!Tony any day, please and thank

• Pete’s Eats by @darker-soft-starker (T, 9.3k, completed)

Summary: Peter has a YouTube channel where he just drinks wine and teaches people how to cook things if they live in a mediocre apartment. While cooking and drinking he just talks about stuff like memes and school and, most importantly, his undying thirst for Tony Stark.

Review: This is legit the funniest shit I’ve ever read, everybody else can go home. I was already sold on Peter being a relatable thirsty dork, but Tony’s A+++ characterization (for a moment I thought it was RDJ on the big screen) and the identity porn side trope killed me for good. And what a way to go. I’m an angst hoe but I could read this forever and would be okay with it.

• pondus, pondera by spqr (M, 9.3k, completed) underage prostitution but not between P/T

Summary: Peter sells his virginity for $5,000 when he’s fifteen.

Review: Ugh I’m so weak for the angsty hooker trope, I just love the potential to simultaneously explore whump, mutual pining and gentle recovery. Trust spqr to deliver it all with a carefully crafted slow burn, god-tier characterization and a heartfelt and satisfying get together. This fic is a gem.

• Powerful by @cagestark (E, 4.6k, completed) SIM!Tony

Summary: After finding out about Peter's abusive ex, Tony privately vows revenge.

Review: This fic took my breath away and made me realize that dark!Tony with a soft spot for Peter is everything I need in my life. Precious Peter being empowered by a viciously protective Tony is now my absolute jam, and it was fascinating to see see their dynamics mutually feeding each other’s nature. This fic is gorgeous, sexy and liberating.

***Red Light District series by @starker-stories (17k, ongoing)

Summary: Everyone knows that Tony Stark is a playboy who has dozens of women passing through his life and through his bed. What everyone doesn't know is that Tony Stark is deeply closeted, longing for something he can't ever have -- a life and a love with another man.

Review: I’m completely in love with this series and not only because it explores the good old hooker trope which I’m very partial to. It’s so well written and atmospheric, if a tad bittersweet and heart-wrenching. Great narrative tension, Tony and Peter’s chemistry is insane, their voices and dialogue are amazing and the smut is looong and scorching hot *chef’s kiss*

• Samadhi by @starkercrossedlovers (E, completed)

Summay: Tony goes to yoga to try and deal with his anxiety and ends up falling for the instructor, one Peter Parker.

Review: Okay so yoga fics are among my guilty pleasures and I can’t get enough of feel-good fics like this one. Peter’s such a sweetheart, so thoughtful and amazing with Tony. I love it when they take care of each other and find solace together, this fic made me soft :’)

• Single dad baker!Peter and lawyer!Tony by @starkerforlife6969 (G, completed)

Review: I’m not usually a fluff girl but this fic is just too wholesome to go by unnoticed. Nothing hits my soft side harder than a cynical character reaching that turning point that makes them start to believe in love. Fuck yes, YOU SHOW THAT MAN SOME HAPPILY EVER AFTER PETE

• Soft Kitty by @ko-fiandfanfiction (E, 33k, completed)

Summary: Peter wasn’t wearing something Tony would call normal, not that there was anything inherently wrong with what he was wearing or anything. It just struck him as…different. To put it plainly. Tony is not sure what to make of this new development.

Review: For those of you who love some occasional feminization, this is the perfect treat. Soft, sexy and sweet, it combines top guilty, pining Tony with oblivious idiots in love, two of my favorite tropes. Amazing slow burn with glorious sexual tension, infuriating dancing around each other and a very satisfying get together. Bonus points for including the “Avengers living together in the Tower” trope, this is the 2012 team building fic we deserved.

• Solitaire by @darker-soft-starker (M, 29k, completed)

Summary: After a traumatic experience, Tony loses his marriage and his business empire in one fell swoop. At rock bottom, it takes real change to pick up the pieces, to dig himself out of the funk he's been living in. It's not pretty. Along the path of healing Tony meets a bright young man, Peter Parker, who makes the entire journey worth it.

Review: Oh man, this was a tough ride on the soul. Few things hurt me like reading whump!Tony but his healing journey is so beautiful it’s all worth it. Top notch characterization, amazing dialogue, FEELS EVERYWHERE, and a gorgeous portrayal of loneliness, friendship, hope and love.

• Someone Who Makes you Happy by tuesday (T, 6k, completed) Soulmate AU

Summary: Peter was born with several marks already marring his skin, including an interlocking AES over his heart. A scar-sharing soulmate AU.

Review: This fic is absolutely stunning and it makes my heart ache in all the right places. Great worldbuilding (I LOVE the scarring concept, so unique and fitting to these characters), A+++ Tony characterization (the wit and the self-hate are so spot on I could weep) and a journey full of longing, until they finally get to be on the same page.

• Splice by Mezzymet (E, 35k, completed) A/B/O

Summary: "He's not...." The doctors polite nature and disposition hadn't been able to mask the odd tone of his voice, like he had been reading someone's death certificate. Only Peter hadn't been on his death bed. "Peter isn't like the other kids.

Review: I keep coming back to this story because it’s such a fascinating and unique take on this trope. Very well thought and put together - the world building is fantastic, the sex sequences are breathtaking, and Tony’s gentle thoughtfulness makes me wanna cry.

• Stopover by @cagestark (E, 10k, completed)

Summary: A stopover is just a break in a journey. Tony is on the run from the organization he used to kill for, and when he stopped for gas and coffee in the small town of Stopover, IL, he had no plans to leave with anything more.

Review: *sigh* this is the mob boss!Tony fic I’ve waited for all my life. Even more impressive than the delicious smut checking all my kink boxes was the phenomenal build up, the overall urgent atmosphere that surrounds those “on the run”, combined with the gentle wonder of stealing a moment in time to find solace in the most unlikely place. Breathtakingly moving.

• Student Body President Election by @starkerforlife6969 (T, completed)

Summary: Tony and Peter are competing for Student Body President and a smear campaign takes things a little too far.

Review: GIMME ENEMIES TO LOVERS AND ALL THE HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA. This ficlet is so fun and adorable it will make your heart smile. Great plot idea and the usual bonus points for protective!Tony being a sweetheart. Will have more 30k, pls and thank.

• Such a Softer Sin by @css1992 (E, 18k, completed) background Peter/Norman

Summary: Tony is a self-made man. Peter is a sugar baby – someone else’s sugar baby.

Review: Another fantastic slow burn that hit me hard in the feels. I love it when fics explore the characters’ personal struggles before they get together, and while the Peter!whump destroyed my heart, Tony’s parallel journey of growth took my breath away. css1992’s talent took the good old sugar baby trope to a whole new epic level.

• Summer Daze by @darker-soft-starker (NR, 4.3k, completed)

Summary: Starker no-powers au where Peter watches construction worker Tony from his bedroom window as the older man works across the street.

Review: Ahh yes, the classic “food as metaphor for love” trope, my absolute jam. This fic is so adorable and endearing, pining!Peter in his wooing mission makes my heart ache and the sweet anticipation is so good. There’s something about this fic that gives me nostalgia; it’s as soft and warm as a summer breeze.

• Tamed by @cagestark (E, 8.3k, completed)

Review: It’s no wonder this is Cage’s most beloved fic. Bad boy!Tony being all soft for Peter is everything we deserve, not to mention a mesmerizing (and HOT AF) first time together. This fic shows how rich and captivating Cage’s writing is - she’s able to transform that old basic trope into something unique and heartfelt. If you need one more reason to read this, please consider: best first bj ever :)

• Teacher!Tony wrong number by @areluctantsblog (T) tw underage

Summary: Peter’s using a replacement phone and mistypes Ned’s number asking for help on a physics problem.

Review: I have such a soft spot for this fic! It was one of the first AUs I’ve ever read and I’m completely in love with their dynamics. Peter’s underage but this fic is carefully written and pretty tame, so I’d rec it to anyone looking for the good old “they probably shouldn’t, but then again nothing’s happening” trope.

• The Bleedover Effect by tuesday (T, 11k, completed) Soulmate AU

Summary: The first time Tony got punched in the face by nobody there, he had a lot of very complicated feelings about it that mostly boiled down to, "I deserve this." A pain-sharing soulmate AU.

Review: Tuesday truly is the queen of soulmate AUs, we have no other choice but STAN. First of all, I adore the concept here - being such a sucker for whump, this could easily become my favorite soulmate trope. As usual, her Tony voice is perfect and his devotion to Peter hits my fragile heart every time. Kudos for the soft and hopeful ending. The series has been discontinued but the sequels are very much worth the read, if you’re up for it :)

• The Catfish Chronicles by @stfustucky (iwillpaintasongforlou) (E, 32k, completed)

Summary: Peter creates a fake profile under the name “Benjamin” trying to catch his scumbag boyfriend cheating. Tony creates a Tinder profile for "Anthony" looking for love late in life. Funny how two geniuses who fight side by side every day can only manage to fall in love after they've accidentally catfished each other. This is... gonna get awkward.

Review: My identity porn thirst might be showing but who cares, I want these two idiots pining after each other in every possible way. This was such a fun and exciting ride! The suspense had me legit freaking out and their get together was lovely and wholesome. I particularly adored how thoughtful and sweet Tony was dealing with Peter’s insecurities, that was handled really well. A treat!

• The Concept of Domesticity by @peters-tofu (E) mpreg

Summary: Tony has accomplished nearly everything he's set out to do, now he wants something different. A family of his own? Sounds easy enough. But he's far too impatient for a relationship, so surrogacy it is. Meanwhile, twenty-two year old college student Peter Parker has just volunteered to be a bearer at an agency.

Review: Can’t say I’m a big fan of this trope but since every rule has its exception, here it is! The only Starker mpreg I’ve ever read is so so good and adorable I can’t help smiling every time I think about it. I just love their dynamics, the soft domesticity, the cute bantering, and the fact that Peter has one baby daddy all wrapped around his little finger but what else is new ;)

***The Date by Neuropsyche (E, 33k, completed)

Summary: Tony has a high society gala and he needs a date.

Review: My favorite fake dating AU so far, this fic is so sweet and wholesome. Confident!Peter is my jam and it was amazing to see their sassy bantering evolving into genuine affection towards each other, not to mention the delicious hot smut with dom!Tony :D

• The Final Heist by @starkerforlife6969 (G, 10k, completed)

Summary: Tony’s only got one more heist. He does this, he can be retired on an island in the Mediterranean in a month. All he needs is a world-class art forger. (White Collar inspired)

Review: Honestly, the amount of times I’ve mentioned SFL in this list is getting embarrassing. I must have done something really good in another life to get such a talented author writing something inspired by one of my favorite TV shows. I feel like this fic was personally crafted for me; it’s original, romantic, sexy, fun, clever and so very atmospheric. I’m a lucky hoe.

• The Heart Benefits of Exercise by @areluctantsblog (E, 14k, completed)

Summary: Personal Trainer Tony and Gym Newbie Peter. Peter can hardly keep it together watching Tony demonstrate different exercises and lift weights. Tony is very much aware of the effect he has on his trainee, and after a session, Peter begs to be shown a whole different array of exercises.

Review: This fic was a lovely surprise, very relatable and entertaining. Love myself an adorable Peter thirsting over Tony (can’t really judge lol), especially if it comes with a good amount of pining and hot, kinky smut :D

• Tipping the Scale by JayPendragon (E, 119k, completed)

Summary: Peter has a rhythm. A system. All runs like a well-oiled machine, engineering pun intended. Every wheel of his life is churning perfectly. He doesn’t expect Tony Stark of all people to throw a wrench in it.

Review: Hooker!AUs are my kryptonite, I’m so here for the “fuck first, talk later” and the general pining + misunderstandings + h/c combo this trope provides. This amazing longfic delivers it all with a well-paced, delicious slow burn told from Peter’s POV, which is always a delight to read and makes you fall even more in love with him. If you also enjoy this trope you’re in for a treat!

• To Catch a Spider by Thekeyandquill (E)

Summary: After the war, Peter Parker left his career as a spy behind to live a simple life in the south of France. But when someone frames him for the theft of plans for a new weapon, he must re-enter his old life and get close to the real thief's likely next target - one Tony Stark. A To Catch a Thief AU.

Review: TKAQ is so skilled their writing should be experienced like fine wine. Amazing research, top notch world building and characterization, and the loveliest atmosphere that makes you feel like you’re inside a movie. Clever, organic dialogue and a sexual tension so palpable you can almost taste it. This is a gem. Make sure to check their other works.

• Two White, Two Black, One Pink by @starkerforlife6969 (E) poly fic: Peter/Tony, Peter/Steve, Peter/Bucky, Peter/Strange Summary: Peter has three (maybe one day: four) men in his life who mean the world to him. Review: Ugh, this fic is pure bliss. It has legit ruined me for any and all other poly fics. Words just cannot describe how gorgeous, poetic and unique SFL’s writing is, or how deeply it has affected me. So if you enjoy Mafia AUs, poly fics and soft-but-also-bamf!Peter taking care of Tony AND being taken care of by the men he loves, give this a chance and experience transcending storytelling.

• Uranium Heart by spqr (M, 11k, completed) Soulmate AU Summary: It’s probably better, Peter thinks, that he doesn’t know who his soulmate is. He wouldn’t want to lie to them about Spider-Man, but he doesn’t think he’d be able to tell them the truth, either.

Review: Be still my heart. This is such a gorgeous fic! Not only it combines two major tropes in a coherent 11k story, but I also appreciate how spqr explores these characters and their dynamics in a very unique and realistic way. I strongly recommend checking their other works, especially Landslide.

• Waiting Game by @cagestark (E, 6k, completed)

Summary: Peter hasn't seen Tony in fifteen years. Not since he had their hasty marriage annulled, graduated college, and moved across the country. Their twenty year high school reunion will find them reunited. They've both changed, but one thing hasn’t. Hint: it's their feelings for each other.

Review: This fic literally made my heart BURST WITH FEELS: the whole build up and anticipation, the slow disclosure of their past, the first uncertain moments of their reunion. I also appreciate the powerful and moving message underneath it all, that true healing comes after we overcome our demons at our own pace. A masterpiece.

• Wooing Peter Parker by Neuropsyche (E, 62.5k, completed)

Summary: Tony and Rhodey dodge the press and sneak into the library where they meet Peter Parker - who immediately catches Tony's eye. But Peter isn't a one and done kind of guy and Tony's going to have to work for what he wants this time.

Review: This is the kind of fic that warms you all over and makes you smile non stop. It has so many elements I love in fic: cute flirting, clever banter, hot sex, soft domesticity, boys being reasonable and talking their problems out for a change. If you’re looking for something light, sweet and honest, this series is a must read!

#starker #reclist #peter parker x tony stark

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gamergirluprising · 4 years

Text

(WARNING SENSITIVE INFO WILL BE DISCUSSED OR GIVEN. IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE INFO REGARDING SELF-HARM OR BULLYING I’D ADVISE YOU NOT TO READ ON. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED)

Hello, everyone, I’d like to share somethings that have urked me and outright surprise me when getting deeper and deeper into this whole shebang cause honestly, this is too much to NOT notice. If you're wondering what I am talking about I am referring to all the stuff I found out about Viv and the fact that she never truly seemed sorry for what she's done to said people based on what I have found out and what she's said in recent years.

Now you all may say "G, she said she's sorry and that's that. Don't bring up things that happened years ago or have been resolved." and look, man, I'd leave it alone if it was CLEAR that she was truly a person of her word, wasn't a hypocrite, and didn't cause 3 people to be suicidal and cause/know of witchhunts that she KNOWS happened and/or wanted to happen. You guys can like her all you want and defend her, but be sure they are good defenses, understand WHERE I am coming from, and be mindful of what I am saying. Don't just ignore everything she did just cause you THINK she's super nice or because she's your idol.

I will also emphasize that I wish for NO ONE to send any unnecessary hate or anything of the like to Viv. You don't stoop to someone else's level just cause they did some bad crap. I just wanted to say any of this, loud and clear, cause its straight facts that shouldn't be buried just cause she wants to hold onto her image the best she can. That isn't at all fair to those victims who have been wronged and had their names tainted over her destructive and mean-spirited hypocritical behavior. AGAIN DO NOT ATTACK VIV AND DON'T THINK ME CALLING HER OUT IS A REASON TO HATE HER. We can be better than her in terms of handling things. Do not also think me calling her out shouldn't have been done JUST CAUSE you don't wanna hear it or not. If you don't wanna see it, you don't have to read it.

with that being said, LET'S DISSECT.

S T A R V A D E R

First I have to start off relaying to you guys what Starvader had stated at the beginning of the document so you'll get a jist of why she even spoke up in the first place.

"I type this document with no malicious intent only my personal thoughts on how I feel recently about the situation since its been on my mind well every day now since 2013. At least five years I’ve had thoughts below as to my personal experience of meeting an ex idol and why sometimes meeting your idol isn’t the best approach. For me, that ex idol is Vivienne Medrano creator of Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel. I’m not aiming to defame this creator nor do I think people should stop liking their work or stop supporting them. If you like their work there is nothing wrong with that but I will refuse to silence myself any longer due to how much this rarely leaves my mind and tends to come up. This has been a situation swept under the rug and most would probably state ‘ well why are you bringing all this up now it was so and so years ago you guys squashed this etc etc “ that being the case, sorry doesn’t fix emotional trauma that comes up frequently during depressive episodes and comments do tend to stick to people in a certain way. Apology or not, words have a heavy weight to them."

I put this here even though I will be putting a link to her doc because people will most likely not read or press the link and just act as if Starvader wanted blood. No, she stated her mind and was clear when saying she wanted no harm done to Viv.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRX8VEoTS7Xot7D9u5i7MMEgtT44mNEtgpl4FY7QDZCA7ZY2j-CTJF7Uw_JwSJ6WUQNVvaTQv60Igte/pub

In this link It tells anyone who comes across it what she and some others mentioned here had to go through when being compared by Viv, wanting to do what's right and still being "called out" and bullied while getting hate sent to them, and having been told how her dreams would never ever be achieved and that she should practically give up, how she put friends against one another, etc. It showcases screenshots of these examples.

It all began with the accusation of art theft. The very thing she played the victim in with someone else. I'm sure some of you old-time fans of Viv know who this person was and are aware of the beef they had with one another. After reading Starvader's Doc, I want you to look at the post Vivziepop made to defame someone known as

D O L L C R E E P

This may be a throwback to you and you all may have thought this person was abusive. I won't say that they did absolutely nothing wrong since they themselves have said they did some wrong in the situation, but I will say that one was more of a problem starter than the other.

http://web.archive.org/web/20151008172207/http://enoughisenough-dollcreep.tumblr.com/post/125101370456/my-experience-with-dollcreep

Notice in this post that the very things she did to Starvader she said DollCreep did to her and how she tries and paint DollCreep as this SEVERELY abusive person. Hell even in Starvader's document you'll see that DollCreep told SV that he talked with Viv about the whole thing regarding SV and Viv and she apparently listened at the time. Not to mention that the screenshots Viv put in that post were either take(very possibly) taken out of context or not even bad to begin with (though his reply about the face thing was odd and shouldn't have been addressed b but due to circumstances, I think that's why he was so cautious). I don't know DC like that, but this kinda makes me feel as though he wasn't a bad person Viv makes him out to be and more her trying to destroy his image ENTIRELY for her benefit, cause till this very day she still calls him an abuser and someone she doesn't want to meet again.

if you continue on into the post she made, you'll see that she has made characters, EERILY SIMILAR to DC's, some WAY MORE than others. SV was willing to change some of the designs and even wanted to stop, Viv, however, seemed to take great offense over such an accusation and took to social media to make her frustrations known. SV kept this hidden from 2013 to 2018.

Oh btw, if you read the doc you'll see that SV wanted to commit suicide. DC actually attempted it. The cyberbullying ran that deep and it ANGERS me.

here’s what someone who saw the sitch had to say.

https://web.archive.org/web/20170619163024/http://dcs-personal-blog.tumblr.com/

can find everything here regarding what DC said about the sitch. You guys DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HURT THIS PERSON. It actually pisses me off that people even attacked DC and blindly believed Viv. It’s Johnny Depp’s situation all freaking over again

Here’s the picture of Viv saying that he was abusive, completely ignoring her behavior, and knowing hate would be sent to DC. Again won’t say that DC was completely innocent but damn man, was this necessary? DC even said that they talked it out and everything

https://vivziepop.tumblr.com/post/179705403534/im-only-going-to-say-this-once

Don’t even get me started on the whole character credit fiasco that Viv refused to properly fix.

https://krieg-was-taken.tumblr.com/post/101438542866/dollcreep-kibadoglover45-dollcreep-even

Look at this as well.

https://web.archive.org/web/20200104224648/https://tyacutie123.tumblr.com/post/125800399071/beware-of-abusive-artist

it mentions SV again, but it also brings into light a parody character meant to mock DC during all of this drama.

https://killapunk.tumblr.com/post/125896144245/dcs-personal-blog-enoughisenough-dollcreep/amp

DollCreep does the same thing back and is treated like the enemy. Hypocrisy at its finest.

now, most of you guys will be saying that this all happened in the past. It’s over, some will say, She’s changed (some of you may even say that these people deserve it. Yes people actually have said stuff like this to me or others) but here’s the problem, She still pulls crap like this to ruin people or to make others feel stupid. Just last year she was laughing with JaneGumball (who APPARENTLY made up with the victim) saying that she deserves it for being rude when the girl just said her opinion and was still a fan of Viv at the time, meaning she didn’t even mean to hurt Viv’s feelings and, hear me out, even if she did WHY FIND HER CYBERBULLYING FUNNY AND JUSTIFIED OVER AN OPINION? What sort of logic is that? That’s GREATLY immature and unnecessary, especially for someone her age (She’s 27 or 28 guys while the victim was 15, come on man!)

and I’m sure some of you know what happened with the person who made a meme regarding HH and other animated cartoons.

She’s VERY MUCH AWARE THAT THEY WERE ATTACKED....and this is how she responds....wow O K A Y.

So no, she didn’t actually change because she most likely didn’t think she had to. People kept supporting her thus making her believe that what she did was correct. Oh and Faust is practically Viv as well. (As seen by the SV doc and this tweet thread)

https://twitter.com/melonbea/status/1206994000563068930?s=19

Hell Viv seemed to ignore this too, as well as a lot of shipping drama if it involves a specific ship, but I won’t delve too deep into that subject since I am not very aware of the things that go down in that side of the fandom.

and there’s this

https://afraidofmonsters-headcanons.tumblr.com/post/188662798256/so-lets-talk-about-this-blog-the-fandom-and-viv

and this

https://historia-kq.tumblr.com/post/190882421127

I’d advise you guys to hear these things out.

Oh and Viv is the type to be a Hypocrite regularly,

https://twitter.com/VivziePop/status/613097846603026433?s=19

I could send you all the screenshots of her tweets but that should be another post on its own cause THERE IS A LOT. Like her Cancel Culture tweet, that tweet where she said, and I quote, “The hypocrisy is strong” back in 2014, November 29th. That time she had a thread of tweets saying, and I quote “never let someone dictate your value as an artist! Never seek the approval of someone else and conform to what they say you should do!” Despite doing this to StarVader.

If you guys want screenshots I can either personally DM or make a post showing her hypocrisy. Cause honestly this is rather, dare I say it, TOXIC. She’s manipulated people and has used them when they don’t abide by her rules or make a mistake that could have been resolved privately, she attacks and it’s saddening. I am TIRED of people getting hurt by her and I am tired of her abusing her power. If she wants to change I am COMPLETELY DOWN for that, but change starts when you want it. You can’t say sorry and expect people not to see past the lies or see that you obviously didn’t change. Sorry should mean what it means, feeling regret or penitence, but if you don’t at all exhibit these things then how are we supposed to believe that you are at all sorry for anything you’ve done currently AND in the past? I mean damn dude did you guys even know what happened to the cosplayer that Viv was mad about?

https://boricua-moonbakery.tumblr.com/post/616407364553310208

Now look, if you like Viv’s content, that’s your choice. I for one very much do like some fan content that i’ve stumbled onto and find some very creative and my cup of tea and while I’m not a huge fan of HH I still very much find the premise very creative. What I do if a creator of something is majorly sketch or strange I simply seperateb the content from the creator. I simply wanted to point out things many peeps don’t know about and any person who is a fan of Viv, I hope you’d at least understand WHY I am at all saying anything I am saying. I want there to be justice but I want things to be fair. I don’t want Viv to get hurt, but I want her to actually learn from her mistakes. I am not here to discourage you from anything, it’s your choice if you choose to stay and I will not judge you for it. I am a girl who SIMPLY wants people to be more aware of who exactly Vivienne Medrano is. She’s mistreated both fans of HH and ZP and it boggles me.

If you guys want more info, like her tweets that I mentioned, just message me.

END OF DISSECTION

#hazbin hotel #vivziepop #vivziemind #vivziepop drama #vivziemind drama #vivienne medrano #vivienne medrano drama #cyberbullying #hypocrisy #Trigger warning #tw #content warning #vivziepop critique

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ofstarsandvibranium · 5 years

Text

Good Business: Part 12

Fandom: Marvel (Mob AU)

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes is a ruthless mobster. He’s also referred to as Big Buck due to his towering strong frame as well as his round stomach. You’re the owner of a small diner, a place that Big Buck decides to visit. Based off this drabble.

“So Y/N, Jamie says you own a diner?” Winnie asks as she takes a sip of wine.

You nod with excitement, eyes lighting up like the candles that decorated the table, “Yes! That place is my pride and-”

“Sorry, I’m late!” Steve came rushing in, beads of sweat on his forehead, “Had to finish up some...business.”

“Yeah, kissing Miss Sharon!” Matty exclaimed and Steve blushed hard, while you threw your head back in laughter.

“High five, Matty!” you lean across Bucky and held up your hand for Matty to slap his hand against yours.

Bucky chuckled and watched as his best friend and adoptive brother kissed his mother’s cheek, sitting next to Charles.

“Sorry again, um. Hi, Y/N, I interrupted you?” he asked sheepishly, laying the fabric napkin across his lap.

You shrugged, “It’s no big deal, Steve. I was just telling Winnie about the diner.”

Steve brightened up, “Oh, ma, you gotta try her pies! They’re amazing! Almost as good as yours!”

Intrigued appeared on the Barnes matriarch’s face, “Almost, eh? Guess we should have a bake off, huh, Y/N?”

“I’d be honored, Winnie. But if it’s a contest, I’m sure these guys will be a bit biased since they love you so much.”

Winnie picked up her wine glass again, taking a small sip, “Not too sure about that, Y/N. Jamie here might love you more than me at this point.”

At this moment, Bucky was drinking from his water glass and choked when his mother spoke, “I-Shit-”

“Language,” Steve said sternly, glancing at his two nephews.

“Sorry, uh, heh,” Bucky cleared his throat, “Despite how much I...care for Y/N, no one can compare to the love between a mother and her child.”

George chuckled and rose his glass of whiskey, “Good answer, Buck. But, uh, Y/N, we heard that you really gave Bucky a hard time when you first met.”

“Uh, well,” you looked at Bucky with a bit of concern. How do you talk about your encounter when his family didn’t know about his organization?

“Bucky and a few of his friends were being a bit loud and obnoxious and people were starting to get annoyed, but they didn’t want to say anything since he’s a well-known businessman. But I didn’t care, so I told him and his buddies that if they continue to behave like that, they’re outta there!” You look at Bucky and his gave you a nod of approval. A nice save.

George hummed, “Guess we Barnes men got a thing for strong feisty women, eh?”

Bucky snorted and reached over, resting his hand on your thigh, “Seems so.”

________________

After dinner, dessert was served as well as more drinks. You had a few too many glasses of wine and got a lot louder and giggly, which amused Bucky since he’s never seen you like this. When it came time to go, you were starting to get a bit sleepy. You drunkenly kissed each of Bucky’s family on the head and wished them a good night.

Bucky, with Steve’s help, practically carried you into his car and buckled you up. As soon as the door closed, you leaned your head against the window, asleep, mouth open, slightly snoring.

Both Bucky and Steve chuckled at the sight of you. Bucky proceeded to sigh and lean against his car, “I think that was successful.”

The blonde nodded, “I agree. Looks like they all are smitten with her.”

“It’s hard not be smitten when it comes to her,” he looks at you through the window with such softness in his eyes, “I really love her, Steve.”

Steve lightly punched his best friend and brother, “You better, with the way you guys are going. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if you proposed in a few months.”

Bucky proceeded to shake his head, a look of worry and...insecurity in his eyes, “I don’t know if that’ll ever happen. I love her, but-but I don’t want her to get involved with the life we lead, Steve.”

Steve snorted, “Way too late for that, Bucky. I have never seen anyone make you this happy and smitten and in love before. And if Y/N didn’t want to get involved with you, she’d have rejected you and your friendship from the very beginning. What you two have? It’s special. You can’t back out now.”

_____________

It’s bright. It’s way too fucking bright. Was the first thing you thought about when you stirred from your sleep.

You heard the door of you bedroom creak open and you slowly turn your head. Your sight a bit blurry from sleep, but after rubbing away the crust and sleep, your vision clears.

Bucky’s there standing in your doorway in an undershirt and underwear, holding a tray of food. The look of concentration on his face dissipated when he realized you were awake.

“Mornin’, sweet cheeks!” he exclaimed a bit too loud which made you wince, “Oh, sorry. Anyway, I got you some breakfast and painkillers. So which would you like first?”

“Painkillers. Now,” you groaned, hand reaching out for them.

Bucky placed two pills into your palm. After you tossed them in your mouth, he handed you the glass of orange juice and you downed half of it. You then placed the glass on your bedside table and sat up properly, allowing Bucky to place the tray of breakfast on your lap.

“Thanks for this. You didn’t have to cook for me.”

Bucky snorted, sitting at the edge of your bed, “Oh I didn’t cook this. I made Steve get this stuff for me from your diner. Figured any food from your place was safe so-”

“You thought right!” you pointed, biting into a piece of fruit, with a smile. After you swallowed, you nodded towards him, “You stayed over?”, eyeing his undershirt that hugged his round belly and his boxer briefs that clung to his thick thighs.

He shrugged, “I didn’t know if you’d wake up in the middle of the night and hurt yourself or what. Just wanted to make sure you were safe is all, sweet cheeks.” he then rubbed the back of his neck, wincing, “Also, I’m getting you a new couch. Your current one is shit!”

You playfully shoved him, “Hey! It’s not shit! It’s...well used.”

“Aka shit. Anyway, you can’t fight me on this.” he grabbed a piece of your bacon, and munching on it. He then leaned in and pecked your lips, “I’m gonna go do the dishes now. You finish up eating, ‘kay? Also, I called Sharon. You’re not going into work today.”

“Buckyyyy!” you whined, “You can’t just call out for me like that!”

He shrugged, “Sharon understood. She said you need to take more time off anyway. So, there you have it.” with that, he sauntered out, your eyes focusing on how good his ass looks in that underwear.

Good Business Taglist (CLOSED): @cametobuyplums @sergeantrosabellaswan @asadmarveltrashbag @youcanhaveyourspacecowboy @reniescarlett @j-the-smol-otter @buckysknifecollection @lowkeysebby @rinthehufflepuff @134340-cm @snoot-snoot-toot @seabassali1328 @bluebellhairpin @emzy106 @viarogers @feelmyroarrrr @vxidnik @jasura @jade-cheshire3303 @yknott81 @baliebay19 @jessieray98 @fandommemporiumm @iluvsumbucky @bucksandroses @lecoindenox @ylva-stark @booktease21 @nerdy-bookworm-1998 @cheyenne222222 @momobaby227

#chubby!bucky #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #marvel #au #marvel au #mob au #mob boss au #mobster au #diner au

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bang-and-a-blintz · 4 years

Text

A Little Extra

Deadass. I woke up the other night at like 4am because this idea popped in my head. Would’ve been nice for it to have been a dream but whatever (thanks a lot, subconscious) and I tried to write it instead. For some reason I can’t stop thirsting over Sasha but I also just want to give him a big hug so this ended up manifesting from that. And yes, I know his character is supposed to be a total twat but I still love him.

So here’s a little Sasha Mann/Reader oneshot that miiiiiight potentionally be more. I have lots of thots. 😇

Fandom: The Affair

Relationship: Sasha Mann//Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Warning: In the realm of smuttiness (basically just some not-so-dry humping)

Word Count: 3,504

~A Little Extra~

You've seen him on set a few times but never had the chance to be properly introduced, and it's not like you can just waltz on up to the lead actor, especially someone with as much prestige as Sasha Mann. No way. At least not when you just got hired fairly recently as an extra for the film. It had been a dream come true to finally be working on a real set in Hollywood and, not to mention, you always did have a little crush on Mr. Mann, so it was just a stroke of luck that you landed the same film.

Oh, how you wished you could go up to him and just say hey or something. Anything for the chance to hear him say your name with that charming accent and smile in that endearingly boyish way of his. But you feared the opportunity may have passed ever since he and that Helen woman split up. You had nothing against her, but the Sasha that walked into work now was a far cry from the man you remembered before the breakup.

Gone was the sweet and genial man who came in every day with a big grin on his face. Now, however, he was so easily irritated and ill-tempered, snapping at anyone who crossed his path.

He rarely smiled anymore and it saddened you.

Before, Sasha had always been kind to everyone working on set; he would make a point to take time out of his day to greet all of the cast members and crew. On several occasions, he treated the everyone to some wild nights out on the town. You knew the man must make a fortune, being an A-listed actor and all, but even still, catering to a group of fifty or more for all expense-free parties around town must add up eventually. But he never even batted an eye; it seemed like he just loved to see everyone having a good time. All in all, the guy was generally pretty friendly with anyone who crossed his path. At least as far as you could tell, but unfortunately, it didn't seem like that was the case as of late.

"Where the fuck is my coffee? And who the fuck has taken my robe?!" Sasha roared across the room and the chatter quietened a smidge. A few people scurried off while his assistant went over to him with the article of clothing in question.

"The coffee is brewing, sir."

"Brewing? Fucking hell, are you a witch cooking it up in a cauldron, hm? Ever heard of a goddamn Keurig? Well, I'll tell you, it's one of those funny little machines that have a rather conveniently placed button that when pushed, miraculously funnels out the magical fucking coffee!"

Yikes.

"Mr. Mann, it's broken." The guy looked bored with his boss and you had to give it to him for dealing with Sasha's little tantrum. He was acting more and more like a pretentious asshole every day and it was getting old.

You stood by and casually sipped on your cup of mint tea. They had just finished filming a scene with you somewhere off in the crowd and now you were just relaxing before they called wraps. Not wanting to be anywhere near Mr. Mann’s warpath, you shuffled around them and hoped no one would notice.

The last thing you needed today was to be caught up in that nonsense.

All of a sudden a hand gripped your arm, nearly spilling the tea everywhere, and pulled you in the opposite direction. It was the assistant director and he looked frantic. "Y/N, right? Well Rachel, the lead, you know, she's just called in sick and we have a super strict schedule today and it turns out that you look the part exactly so congrats to you. You get to be one of the big shots for a day! Sex scenes always get the talent agent's attention, so really, you’re probably getting the better end of the deal."

"Excuse me, did you say sex scene?" You stumbled a bit but his iron-like grip kept you upright as he plowed on forward towards the make-up department.

"Yes, you had signed the nudity rider that your agent had sent over to us stating that you would consent to any nude scenes that involved sexual activities, but not the actual act of sex itself, of course. This isn't porn." You begrudgingly remembered a conversation you had with your friend who had been sort of acting as your agent at the time. She insisted that these riders were simply a formality. She assured you that they were usually only for something like a pool party scene that would have you wear a bikini in the background or something of the sort. In this case, it seemed, you were getting the chance to do a sex scene with the main fucking character. "This is a very unique situation; normally we would not ask this of you, but seeing as time is of the essence and we are super behind schedule, we're going to have to make an exception today. Sasha just had to go through a fucking existential crisis in the middle of this movie. Set us back three goddamn weeks. Fucking prima donna."

No lie, though, you weren't even mad, and to refuse such a golden goose of an opportunity would be insanity. So you shook away the shock and squared up your shoulders as you let the man lead you into the makeup department. They touched up your face for the camera, even though no close-ups were going to take place, and fit you with a pair of skin-toned pasties accompanied by matching underwear.

After you were all dolled up to the assistant director's satisfaction, he unceremoniously dragged you the rest of the way to the set, opened a door, and tossed you into a room.

You tugged the silk robe tighter around your body and looked around warily; the scene had been made up to be like one of those super-cheesy-over-the-top romantic movies. An extravagant bed sat in the middle of the room surrounded by rose petals and candles, which made you a little nervous. It would be just your luck to accidentally knock one over and burn the whole place to the ground.

"Hello, who are you? This is a closed set." Sasha's deep voice cut through your internal monologue causing you to notice his presence and looked up at him. He was tall. Really, really tall. You swallowed thickly.

As he took a step towards you, you instinctually took a step back and then remembered your voice, "I'm Y/N. They told me to come in because Rachel is sick and they really needed someone now and apparently I looked the part…?"

"Of course she is." Sasha rolled his eyes, ignoring your rambling, and huffed in frustration while he dragged a hand through his hair. He wore a matching robe that was untied and hung open shamelessly. You tried not to stare and focused on his face instead. The look in his eye was wild and angry and almost sad but it quickly disappeared after Sasha blinked. You noticed how flawlessly he put back on the mask of a debonaire. "Well, let's get to it then."

With wave of a hand, he turned to shed his robe and you took that as your cue to do the same. When you spun back around, you saw Sasha staring at you for a little longer than what you imagined was normal. He took his time imprinting the image of your nearly nude body in his brain. You could hardly believe it was something to gawk at, not that you were ashamed or anything - you were rather fond of your body and appreciated it. But he was Sasha fucking Mann; he could have anyone he wanted. What made you so special?

"I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing here…" You spoke quietly and Sasha smiled at that, the first you've seen on his face in awhile.

It was a lovely sight.

"It's all very easy, you and I will act like we're having a very romantic affair and they are going to film through the walls." He came closer to you and you couldn't help but smirk a little at the funny cock sock he wore - it looked ridiculous. Clearing his throat, Sasha drew your attention back up to him. "Listen, Y/N, I know this might be a little strange and overwhelming but I promise to be nothing but respectful and professional. If you are in any way uncomfortable, please let me know and we will stop immediately. Okay?"

You couldn't help but nod dumbly, wasn't it just moments ago you were wishing Sasha would simply say hello to you? Now you were about to pretend to have sex with him…on camera.

"Are we - are we going to kiss?"

He chuckled and the sound went straight to your core. It was deep and throaty and you didn't realize sounds could be craved until that very moment. "Yes, some kissing and touching and perhaps a bit of pseudo-cunnilingus; all depends on how much time we have."

"Okay, let's start then." You hoped you didn't sound too eager but the way his smile stretched spoke volumes of your discretion. He called out 'action' but your focus was currently fixated on the way his chest hair traveled down all the way until it disappeared beneath his skin-colored underwear.

If only you had an unrestricted view.

One of Sasha's impossibly large hands motioned you towards him. You had seen those hands before and appreciated them from the distance, but at this proximity, you carefully took mental notes of all your favorite details. Like how long his spider-like fingers were, how the thick veins protruded from the tops of his hands and ran up his forearms like tantalizing lightning strikes, how the ridges of his knuckles seemed to be chiseled out of stone, and how they all moved together like a symphony of skin that drew you in with a single beckoning curl. "Come here, Y/N."

This man had a magnetic pull that was too strong to resist, so you didn't even try, and easily stepped closer into his embrace. One of those aforementioned hands came up to cup your face. His thumb drew a line from your bottom lip down to the base of your throat and then back up to the curve of your chin. You barely comprehended his other hand clasping around yours and bringing it up to rest on his chest.

You couldn't help but smile while flexing your fingers against his solid body, delighting in the feel of his fur tickling your skin. He took notice of your intrigue and tightened his grip on your jaw, smiling when you inhaled sharply.

Those long fingers reached across your waist, slightly digging into the supple flesh, and his thumb drew small circles along the hipbone.

Moving closer, you brought your other hand up and dove it into his thick expanse of hair. It was just as soft as you had imagined however many countless times before, but the sensation of feeling the silky locks sift through your fingers was far better than anything you could have made up.

The butterflies in your belly were throwing a rager.

It may have been just your imagination, but you could have sworn that he leaned ever so slightly into your touch. That vulnerable look flashed again in his eyes but when he blinked, it was replaced by hunger. Those dark brown orbs stared right through your soul as Sasha slowly brought his lips down to meet yours.

This was not how you pictured your workday going and, if you were being perfectly honest, you figured it was all a dream of which you would be woken up from very soon. So why not enjoy it while it lasted? You ignored the blaring sirens that rang in your head that told you to be conscious of the dozen people watching your every move. Fuck 'em.

If they wanted a show, that's what they were going to get.

Throwing caution to the wind, you happily sank into the pillowy softness of his lips. His eyes were locked on your facial expressions and you gave up trying to maintain eye-contact the moment his velvet tongue teased open your lips.

There was no battle for dominance; you were willing and ply and perfectly content with letting him take the reins. His kisses were gentle at first but quickly grew deeper and more desperate.

The grip he had on your waist tightened considerably as he pulled you closer and then slid his hand up, spreading those fingers wide along the space between your shoulder blades.

Sasha pulled his lips away from your mouth and began to drag them across to your neck, angling your head for better access. His breath was hot and heavy in your ear, "Arch your back a bit," his hand guided your body so that your breasts more firmly pressed up against his chest. He cooed, "Just like that, yes, good girl."

You couldn't help but moan at his words and it seemed to fuel the fire. He groaned loudly in return and devoured your mouth with a new fervor.

Suddenly, both of his hands were cupping your ass and he lifted you up effortlessly. You immediately wrapped your legs around his waist as he took a few steps towards the bed.

"Watch out for the candles." You gasped at the movement and gripped his shoulders to steady yourself.

There was that damn chuckle again, "No need to, they're fake."

Before you could even think about his response, Sasha caught your lips again with another searing kiss. The second his tongue lapped against yours, all coherent thoughts escaped your mind.

Not breaking the kiss, he held your body against him as he delicately lowered the both of you onto the mattress. The weight of him tucked in-between your legs and pressed against you was utterly divine; you wished to never be bereft of the feeling again.

He grasped both of your wrists with one large hand and pinned them above your head. Your body writhed beneath his and caused a low growl to emanate from his chest. You felt the vibration travel across his skin and couldn't help but grin against his lips. Briefly, you wondered if this was at all affecting him the way it was you or if he was really that good of an actor.

Well, there certainly was a way you could find out.

At once, you gently sunk your teeth into his bottom lip, and, while using the leverage of his weight firmly pressing your hands above your head, you rolled your hips up to meet his.

Sasha’s reaction did not disappoint.

"Oh, fuck." Those big beautiful brown eyes slid close as his body shuddered. He buried his face in the junction of your neck and panted against the sensitive skin. The evidence of his arousal was rather obvious now as you felt it pressed ardently against the inside of your thigh. He canted his hips and, with a grunt, gave a sharp thrust. "You're doing so very well."

Hearing your gasp, Sasha brought his lips back up to meet yours and the two of you began to set a pace. It became a blur of frantic grinding and clawing and teeth and skin and lips and tongue and sweat and saliva. He was everywhere at once; you could do nothing but hang on to the wrist that anchored you down and enjoy the ride.

You realized that the line of professionalism between the two of you had been long since crossed, but you could not have cared any less. The shocks that shot up your spine every time he rocked into you told you that you were completely and utterly fucked…or at least that was the sweet redemption you prayed for.

Sasha seemed to feel the same as he stroked your side all the way down to the curve of your ass and then brought his hand back up to palm your breast.

Knowing that your panties were sopping wet and he was sliding his hardness along your slit made you let out a long moan to which he returned with another nice, hard thrust.

Instantly, you saw stars.

"Oh god, Sa-Sasha, I think…I think I'm going to-" You breathed the words in-between his relentless kisses but he paid no mind to your concern. If anything, it seemed to spur him on even more.

The flimsy fabric between the two of you could barely even act as a barrier; his cock felt hard and hot as he rutted against you with abandon and you could feel the tension begin to boil over. You could focus on nothing besides the raw, wicked feeling of Sasha Mann enveloping your every sensation. Bright lights exploded in your field of vision as he sent you spiraling blissfully over the edge.

Your moans and sighs filled the room as your back arched, pressing yourself even closer to him. Sasha released your hands and instead curled an arm under your waist to hoist you up for a better angle. You immediately dragged your fingers across his scalp and held onto him as if your life depended on it.

After a few more short, frantic thrusts, his whole body tensed and he pulled you tightly against him. Sasha groaned lowly in your ear and buried his face in the crook of your neck as he came.

All you could hear above your heart pounding was the mix of panting breaths as the two of you tried to maintain control of your breathing.

After a moment, Sasha lifted his head to look you in the eye, and what you saw nearly broke your heart. His face was riddled with guilt.

"Y/N…" He started and then licked his lips, not quite knowing what to say, "I'm so sorry, I-"

The door to the room burst open and the two of you looked over with equally dazed expressions, feeling like two teenagers caught in the act. You had nearly forgotten where you were when you saw the assistant director standing there.

"Hey guys, we called cut like five minutes ago. Time to wrap up for the day." He said and gave you two a weird look.

"Oh, good. Well, thanks for letting us know, we'll be out in a minute." Sasha forced a smile and waved the other man away. The guy took that as his cue and closed the door behind him.

Awkward.

You turned your gaze back to the man above you, but he refused to meet your eye.

He began to ramble, but you were irritated with how he adamantly kept his head turned to the side. "I’m sorry, Y/N, this was completely inappropriate and I should have never let this get out of hand. I really fucked up and you have every right to -"

You were having none of it and cut him off, reaching up to cup his cheek and gently forcing him to make eye-contact. The raw guilt and sadness that was written all over his beautiful face felt like a knife to your gut and you wanted nothing more than to make it go away.

"Hey, don't…it's okay, Sasha. There is no reason for you to apologize. I mean, I enjoyed that quite a lot." You smiled up at him and smoothed out some of the crinkles in his brow with the pad of your thumb, "Did you?"

He contemplated you quietly for a moment and his silence was starting to make you nervous. Did you read the situation wrong? Was this all a mistake? Were you going to be thrown off the set for violating the lead actor? A barrage of anxious thoughts and self-conscious questions ran through your mind at alarming speeds and every second of silence was torturous.

Until that warm beam of a smile broke across his face and it felt like sunshine on your heart.

"Yes, very much so." As he spoke, those big brown eyes searched yours for permission before he leaned down and delivered a sweet little kiss to your lips. Sasha tucked some hair behind your ear and cocked his head down at you, grinning easily, "Now how about we get cleaned up and I can take you out to dinner?"

"That sounds wonderful."

~~~

Taglist (just a few who I thought might be interested - message me if you want to be added or removed!) :

@festering-queen @vissidarte213 @moony691 @allis143 @apocalypsenowish @torntaltos @hoefordarkness @thebeautyofdisorder @chrsitophwaltz @guardianbelle @gabesprincess @hiphop-gir @hyacinth-meadow @undead-notunreasonable

#what can i say?#i like my men toxic and tragic and blessed with a heart-warming smile #sasha mann x reader #claes bang x reader #so funny story - while i was doing some research on this about #how sex scenes were made in hollywood #SPOILER ALERT - they're not sexy #but the article was interesting #and guess who was the director in the interview?#i already forgot her name but it was the same lady who directed THE AFFAIR #like ???????#fucking wild!#and the best part was that while the other directors #weren't vibing with filming sex scenes ya girl was like hell yeAHHHHHHH let's do it #MISTER MANN #yum #anyways hope yall enjoy #perhaps there will be more #claes bang thirst squad #this was practice smut #it's been awhile since i've written any sauce #prolly not even that good #you can keep scrolling #okay i'm gonna go now byeeee

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animerunner · 4 years

Text

What Happened Is Not Right And That’s Okay (Chapter 2)

Ao3

Link to Chapter 1 Fandom: The Owl House Rating: T Warnings For this Chapter: Dehumanization, ableism, possible borderline gaslighting, and parental ignorance/neglect possibly bordering on child abuse. Relationships: Eda Clawthorne & Lilith Clawthorne, Eda Clawthorne & Eda Clawthorne’s Mother, Eda Clawthorne & Principal Bump (additional relationships to be added as the story progresses. Summary:Living with a curse was never a simple task. And really from day one Eda knew it was going to be complicated. But she can't help but wonder at times. Just why hers has to be this complicated.

In short: An Exploration of what life might have been like for Eda growing up with the curse. AN: Hey there so what story is basically what it says on the tin. With some creative liberty of course.

Something to keep in mind is that this story progresses: 1. Explore Eda's character and others in response to the curse 2. Help myself explore and come to terms with my own Chronic Illness 3. Help educate others who aren't as familiar with disabilities on the realities of the situation. This one is important to me since the fandom can have an ableism issue. And I would like for readers to maybe take away why the use of certain tropes is a lot worse than they might realize. 4. This story is not meant to be either tragedy or inspiration porn. 5. I've only really begun interacting with the disability community in the last few years. So if I do a misstep its unintentional ignorance. Which I realize is not great either. I just want to make clear my intent is not malicious. If someone else who is in the community in some form be it Neurotypical, disabled, chronically ill, etc. sees something questionable within the story that comes off as unintentionally ableist please tell me. I would be happy to clarify if the plot beat was unintentional (and fix it) or somehow deals with the story itself. Which will happen sometimes. 6. Some of this is based on my own experience. Some of it is not. The parents issue this chapter is a good example of it not being based on my own experience.

This story will touch on some topics that might be sensitive to some readers. I will include warnings . If your sensitive to the topic please keep that in mind before starting it. Also please bear in mind that not all chapters will have the same element. So while one chapter might have one issue, the other might not. A good example of this is an arc I will be exploring later in the story involving ableism in sports.

For anyone who wasn’t around for the first chapter. This was originally inspired by @beckyarteest‘s fic before it went off and became its own quasi multi chapter AU (I am bad at sticking to canon compliance): I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.

Anyways Actual story is under the read more. Ao3 link is at the top. Please let me know what you think!

One day turned into two and two turned quickly into a week. And after that with no real sign of the ‘curse’ resurfacing, Eda had actually started to think that maybe everyone else was right.

Maybe whatever had happened that day was just a one off thing.

Unfortunately, reality had made that hope come crashing down just over two weeks after “the duel that wasn’t” with Lilith.

=============

Eda wouldn’t remember the moment that would properly change everything about her life.

Though, she guessed that wasn’t entirely accurate. Considering the biggest moment had happened a week prior was when she had been supposed to be vying for an Emperor’s Coven spot against Lily. The day of her first transformation.

However the incident in potions class, the moment they now knew this was almost certainly not just a one off incident like they had been hoping? That was the moment it became all too real for Eda.

Even if it would be a while longer before it became real for the rest of the family. That was the day reality started to sink in for Eda. As it was the day that she knew at least to an extent that her life wasn’t going to ever be the same.

It would also be her first gateway into the many, many issues that came with the curse. Whether it be other people’s treatment of her cursed form, right or wrong, or just still having people take her seriously in the beginning.

Something that would be a recurring struggle she would have to deal with in the coming years.

Much like the duel, she would only be told what had happened afterward. The entire time she was transformed she wasn’t even aware of what was going on.

It was something that would over time become associated with fear and worry. At the time though, for an Eda who was still in denial, it was more of a source of annoyance.

Eda didn’t like that she had to rely on other people to necessarily do ‘the right thing’. Especially since in both instances so far it nearly hadn’t ended in her favor.

Thankfully of all people it was apparently Principle Bump who came to her rescue. Seeing reason when one of the other teachers had tried to suggest handing her off to the head of the Beast Keeping classes for the time being...

Bump scowled at that not particularly liking the way this conversation was going, “She is still a student. A transformed one but one nonetheless. Unless she starts attacking someone there is no reason to be summoning Arden.”

Sure, he may not be particularly fond of Eda’s antics at times. Sometimes he wished that the entire Clawthorne dynamic wasn’t like how it was. It was a source of many of his headaches.

But that did not mean he supported putting Eda in a cage.

Even if she wasn’t in her right mind currently, she was still a student. And she wasn’t being aggressive. Honestly, this other form so far hasn't been aggressive at all. Though who was to say that wouldn’t change?

He was more than a bit concerned with how little they knew. However, there was one thing he was certain on: that forcing her into a cage would make things worse, not better.

Not that he particularly liked the idea even before you factored in the fact that they’d be caging a student.

“So what do you suggest we do with her then, sir? Leaving her out could cause property damage.”

Which, arguably, was more Eda than anything else.

“Put her in my office and call a healer. Hopefully someone will know what to do to get her to transform back.”

“Sir, I must protest. Putting her with you could put you-”

Bump cut the other teacher off before he could continue. “I didn’t become the principal of this institution by sitting on my thumbs Marcus. I am more than capable of handling an unruly student. Even if she has been transformed into another creature.”

Not that he genuinely thought handling would be an issue.

=============

“So what your saying is neither of you can help.”

Bump had ended up summoning both a healer and grabbing DeFrost anyway. Hoping maybe one of them would know how to solve their issue.

“I apologize, sir. But I’m used to dealing with minor curses. Things of inconvenience mostly. Under normal circumstances, I would refer this student to a specialist. This is way beyond my own capabilities to treat.”

And of course, they couldn’t do that without involving the Clawthorne parents. Who he had tried to alert when Edalyn had transformed again. But they had both been busy and he had yet to hear anything from them yet.

“And I’ve never seen a creature quite like this. Cursed or otherwise. I could possibly see if I have anything discussing something similar to Ms. Clawthorne. However...”

“Most likely Edalyn will have transformed back by then.” Bump concluded.

So apparently they were dealing with not just a curse. But a rare curse. Great.

Why was it that nothing involving the Clawthornes was just plain and simple?

“At the very least can you tell me if she’s any sort of danger?”

That way he could have his staff stop bothering him.

DeFrost adjusted their glasses. “Well it's hard to say without knowing the curse or how it impacts her mind. But based on normal cursed creature behavior most likely she won’t be a danger to anyone unless she’s provoked. However there’s still a lot of questions there...”

“Like what could provoke her.”

“Exactly.” DeFrost nodded. “Sir, I know you said you could handle if anything happened but-”

“I can handle myself just fine Arden. I appreciate your concern but if I need your help again I will ask for it.”

“Understood sir.” DeFrost agreed reluctantly. Before taking their leave.

“Am I dismissed as well sir?”

“No. Actually I wanted to ask. I know you can’t help her return to normal. But I imagine the transformation back won’t be easy on her. Is there anything we can do to ease that at least?”

“Well yes. But that would normally involve the family…”

“I’ll handle anything that might come if they protest. This is already a difficult time for Edalyn. Let's not make it worse.”

=============

Thankfully time really was all they needed for Eda to transform back.

Though rather than answering his questions and possible suspicions. Eda’s return to awareness just raised even more of them in their steed.

“Welcome back Edalyn. How are you feeling?”

“Like an icicle is trying to drive a hole into my skull,” Eda said, wincing again rubbing the right side of her head. “What happened?”

“I believe that you will probably want this, then.” Bump rather than answer the question slid the potion that the healer had left for Eda when she finally returned to normal. “The healers figured you might have one after you transformed back.” Bump explained as Eda downed the bottle.

Eda frowned as she put the bottle down again. Now that the pain was receding she could think a bit more clearly. And realize that she couldn’t think of a reason for why she would be in the office in the first place. “Back? Wait was I-”

“Transformed into that creature from the duel? Yes.”

“I didn’t even realize it,” Eda noted with a frown. Much like the last time everything was just a giant blank from right before she transformed. Which worried her on another level. Why was she unable to remember anything from when the spell, curse, whatever it was took effect?. “I didn’t hurt anyone did I?”

“No everyone got out of your minor escapade without a scratch.” Bump assured her. Deciding to leave off the near incident with DeFrost and the cages for the moment. It wasn’t like he hadn’t specifically told them not to get the Beast Keeping professor involved.

Eda sighed in relief. “That’s good at least.”

“So you really aren’t aware of what happened after you transformed? I take it?”

“No, the last thing I remember is being in the potions classroom. And then waking up here. Everything between the two is a blank.” Eda’s face scrunched up in a frown. There was a bit of a tangible residue of some sort of memory. But she still didn’t know the relevance of it. “Mother’s going to kill me for missing class.”

“I would have thought you might be somewhat pleased by the new attention.”

After all that had been a reason behind some of Eda’s pranks over the years. Though sometimes Bump wondered just how much Eda realized this herself.

“Not like this.”

“Either way I’ll write a note. In the meantime you really should have a specialist check you.”

Eda winced. “That’s probably going to be easier said than done.”

“If it comes to it, the same offer I made to your sister when she was being given difficulty by them I’ll extend to you. If you need someone to help you get seen about this curse then I can try to help you find someone that your parents won’t cause problems with.”

Eda winced remembering the fiasco that had been trying to get her sister her glasses. There was an unfortunate high probability history could repeat itself. She really hoped her parents had maybe learned. “I’ll keep that in mind, thank you Principal Bump.”

“Your welcome.”

Eda’s unusual politeness wasn’t lost on him. Go figure the most polite conversation he had ever had with Edalyn was because of a curse.

Maybe he should have tried a different tactic with the youngest Clawthorne?

Too late to fix that now he supposed. =============

Any small hope for Eda that maybe her parents would take it seriously when she got home. And not try to toss it again under ‘something else’ didn’t last longer than five minutes after her mother got home.

“Clawthornes don’t get cursed.”

“But-” Eda began to try and protest. Absentmindedly scratching her wrists. While most of the pain had subsided with the potion Bump had given her, there were still some residual aches and pains from the transformation.

Just like last time in fact.

“End of discussion. I will not entertain this absolutely absurd discussion. Let alone the idea of taking you to a specialist.”

Eda scowled, not ready to back down without a fight. “If it's just a spell then why did it happen a second time?”

“I don’t know Edalyn, maybe someone thought they should continue the lesson.”

Eda opened her mouth to try and continue the argument. Only to have her mother disappear through the door, slamming it shut behind her.

“But I haven’t even done anything this past week.” Eda muttered to herself.

After the first idea of it being a curse had gotten into her head. She had decided to try and be better. The transformation had hurt! She hadn’t wanted to go through it again.

So as difficult as it had been she had hung up her pranking supplies. For now at least until whoever was angry with her cooled down.

If this really was because of a prank. Then someone was really vindictive was all she could say.

Either way whatever caused it wasn’t really the problem anymore. It was figuring out what to do next before the curse resurfaced a third time.

Normally she would have turned to Lily for guidance. But her sister was away at training. Meaning it was her against her parents. And she had no clue how to handle it from there.

It had always been them against the world. Even when that world sometimes included their own parents.

With the one person who may have understood their complex family dynamic gone. With her having no idea when she would see Lily again. She had no one to turn to.

Sure, Bump had once said that if she needed help to come to him. But this felt like a bit of a reach.

Maybe it was for the best to leave it alone for now. Maybe if it happened again her parents would take it seriously.

She knew that the likelihood of that happening was probably small, but what else could she even do at this point?

Her parents' reaction, while infuriating, was not entirely unexpected. And it was even less likely to change if her childhood was anything to go by. Since, if it was something that made the Clawthorne’s imperfect, then it was not to be acknowledged. Even if it impacted their own children.

And if there was anything that indicated an ‘imperfection’ it was having a curse on a child.

Titan knew how it had been a fight to get Lily her glasses. Eda couldn’t even begin to imagine how complicated things might be if this was something far more sinister than getting your sight corrected.

She guessed if she needed too she could try looking for care on her own. She was old enough now that she didn’t need her parents there at a healer’s appointment. But then again the fall out from going to a doctor when she didn’t have her own source of income.

Well it would be a mess.

Why did this have to be so complicated?

#the owl house #toh #the owl house fanfiction #eda clawthorne #disability representation

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otomefoxystar · 4 years

Text

The One - Chapter 5

Fandom: Kissed by the Baddest Bidder

Pairing: Eisuke X OC

Warning: mentions of kidnapping

Genre: Angst

Written by: @otomefoxystar

Neither of them got much sleep that night. Eisuke woke up knowing he had to tell her that the baby could be his. He was almost certain of it. The timing was perfect. Once he was showered and dressed he went to check on Charlotte. He didn't expect to see her awake. She was lying on her side hugging a pillow staring straight ahead with tears falling down her cheeks. He walked over to her and kneeled on the floor so his face was in her line of sight. Her eyes shifted to him and she sniffled. “ I can’t do this” She sobbed Eisuke brushed her hair out of her face. “ Yes, you can. I know you can, you are the strongest woman I know.” “ If I’m so strong why do I feel so weak?” “ Because you’ve gone through a lot recently, but you’re getting better.” Charlotte sat up and wiped her tears away. She sniffled and Eisuke's lip pulled up forming a small smile. “ Charlotte” He stood up and sat next to her on the bed as he took her hand. “ I have something that I need to tell you, so I’m just going to come out and say it.” She licked her lips and swallowed. Her heart was hammering against her chest in nervousness.

“ We slept together” “ You told me we weren’t together.” He took a deep breath and looked at her. “ We aren’t and never were. It happened once” “ Do I sleep around often?” He knitted his eyebrows together and shook his head. “ No, you’re not like that.” “ So then why?” He pressed lips together, feeling nervous about how she’d react to his explanation. “ Because I told you had to.” She looked at him in confusion not understand why she would listen to something like that. “ This isn’t the point Charlotte.” “ I think I deserve to know” She was starting to get angry and her ears began heating up. “ I’m trying to tell you that the baby inside of you is most likely mine.” “What?” “ I don’t believe you were with anyone else to my knowledge at least.” She took her hand out of his and stood up. “ You need to explain what happened because right now I am really confused!” He looked up at her as he was still sitting on the bed and took a deep breath. “All you need to know is that we slept together and now you’re pregnant that’s what we need to be worried about.” She sighed angrily “ I know that but I need to know why we slept together.” He stayed silent and she was getting frustrated “ You know what?! No, I’m not doing this not now not ever! I’m done being toyed with!” “ I’m not toying with you. I don’t want you involved any more than you already are.” “ No, I don’t want to hear it anymore” She went to the door and slipped her shoes on " Where are you going?" “ Away from you” She stormed out of his suite and into the lounge where Soryu and Baba were standing talking. She stomped out not talking to either one of them just focused on leaving. Then Eisuke came running down the stairs. “ Charlotte don’t leave!” She pressed the elevator button “ Leave me alone Eisuke” “You're still in your pajamas” “ Doesn’t matter” She stepped into the elevator and she glared at Eisuke “ Don’t follow me I want nothing to do with you” She said as the doors closed. If only she could just remember then she wouldn’t have to ask and this whole altercation could have been avoided. Why can’t she remember? She was ready for her memories to come back, She had waited long enough. Not long after she left the hotel when she passed a lightning post she was suddenly grabbed and she smelled a sweet smell and she struggled to stay conscious before succumbing and letting her consciousness slip away. She was carried into the back of a silver sedan by a blonde haired man. Eisuke was angry. Angry at himself, angry at the situation angry at Charlotte for not letting him explain. She always had a bit of a temper, at least that stayed the same. He looked back at Baba and Soryu. “ What did you do Eisuke?” Soryu asked plainly “ I didn’t do anything” he lied. How could he tell them that he had gotten her pregnant and she was so mad that he didn’t explain it properly that she ran out in her pajamas? He didn’t want to explain their whole relationship. How she was sold at the auction and how she belonged to him, and how he only used that against her if he got desperate. This time his desperation had consequences, she was pregnant and she hates him. He had to fix this. “ Find her” Baba arched an eyebrow “ But boss she said-” “ I don’t care what she said. I want you to find her and bring her back here. I don’t care if she’s screaming and kicking.” He didn’t care if she hated him for it, he had to tell her. She was right she deserved to know, even if it made her hate him more. Only if she knew how much everyone loved her. Baba had looked high and low he had even gone to her parents' house, but she had disappeared. It was unusual even if she was angry she wouldn’t just vanish. Darkness had enveloped the sky, and Baba felt defeated as if he had failed Charolette. He feared the worst, his gut told him that something was wrong. He walked back to the penthouse empty handed. “ Where is she?” Eisuke demanded “ I couldn’t find her, I looked everywhere I could think of but I couldn’t find her.” He looked down, and Mamoru came into the room. “ We need to find her! Mamoru I want you to use your detective sources and find Charolette.” Eisuke raked his hair back with his fingers. He felt on edge and was pacing in his suite. What if she had been kidnapped what if she’d been attacked again? She could lose the baby if there’s too much stress on her body. This was the first time in his life that he felt so useless there was nothing he could do except wait. He poured himself a glass of wine trying to relax, she was the only thing he could think of. He had never worried much about other people, but when it came to Charlotte he worried more than was probably normal. He looked out the window of his suite as he took a drink of his red wine, something Charolette had enjoyed in the past. Why did everything remind him of her? He watched as the headlights of cars flashed by, wondering if she just ran away. She wouldn’t be that angry, would she? He didn’t care what it took he would find her if it ended up killing him. Soon the whole bottle of wine was gone, and Eisuke was quite inebriated. He went into her room and noticed her bed had since been made up and the floors had been vacuumed. This irritated him, he wanted it to look like it did before she left with the bed unmade, looking slept in and he wanted to see her clothes strewn across the floor, but instead they were in the laundry basket. Could someone be trying to hurt him by hurting her? All these irrational thoughts were filling his head. Nothing ever got accomplished by worrying, he needed to do something he had to get his mind off of her. He decided to walk around the hotel casino. He walked around, and soon he was seen and women started swooning over him. On a normal night he would have taken one to his room and had his way with her, but tonight it just irritated him. Charolette blinked her eyes and realized how bad her head was hurting. She put her hand to her forehead and rubbed, but then noticed the unfamiliar setting she was in. She was laying on a bed in what looked like a cabin. She got up and went for the door, but it was opened by a man with golden hair and blue eyes. He was tall, and he looked down at her. “ I’m glad you are awake Charolette, I’ve been waiting for you.” She looked at him wide eyed “ Where are we?” “ You are in my palace milady far in the woods, there is nowhere to run. There isn’t another house for miles. You are to stay here with me.” “ Why? Why did you take me?” “ Wait…I know you. You work at the hotel.” “ Smart girl. Yes, my name is Yuri, we met a little over a month ago. I’ve wanted you since then and now I can finally have you.” She grimaced “ You can’t have me.” He laughed and licked his lips seductively. She started backing away from him as he started in towards her. “ Please no. Stay back” As he pushed forward her back hit a wall and he grabbed her chin. “ You will be mine one way or another, but you will be mine.” He released her chin and backed away. He closed the door and locked it from the outside. She ran to the door and began banging on it and sank to the floor crying when nobody came to answer it. She put her knees up and hugged them as she sobbed. She wished she hadn’t gotten so angry with Eisuke he was just trying to tell her that the baby was his and she threw that in his face. He had been nothing but kind to her. This whole time he had been taking care of her and never once did she stop to thank him. She wished she could run back and tell him that she’s sorry that she doesn’t hate him. She wished that she was back in that hotel where she was safe and loved. She wanted to be in the company of Ota. She wished Soryu was guarding her and Mamoru was napping on the couch while Baba was making a fool of himself. She wished that Eisuke was sitting there quietly, observing everything around him. She sat there with tears streaming down her face, broken images started filling her head. She saw herself breaking something and being forced to be put up for auction. She saw herself being faced by all the guys and feeling afraid, but not more afraid than she felt right now. She saw herself laughing with Eisuke and quietly glancing his way every time he entered the room. She felt heat rise to her cheeks every time their eyes connected. She saw herself meeting Yuri and feeling so happy only to be ripped of that happiness by Eisuke’s demand of her having to sleep with him. She wasn’t unhappy though she was mad but not unhappy. She saw herself and Eisuke at the party and how he kissed her and brushed her skin with his fingertips. The feeling gave her goosebumps. She drank a lot that night, but Eisuke’s gentle kisses and feather light touches lit a fire in her belly. seeing him make love to her and her to him. They were so into each other and caught up in the moment. No wonder she got pregnant, he must have forgotten the condom. Condoms were the last thing they were thinking about, they wanted each other … needed each other. Then when it was over he held her like they were lovers. It was a blissful feeling, but then knowing it was over was painful knowing she would never feel that again she decided to get drunk at the hotel bar. Ota tried to stop her but she got mad and tried to leave and that’s when Yuri attacked her and if Ota hadn’t saved her who knows what he would have done. Now though she was alone with no Ota no nobody but herself. What will he do? How long will he keep her here? what will happen when he discovers she’s pregnant? Finally, her memories had returned but she had to be kidnapped and had no one to share it with. She knew she had to escape. He said there wasn’t a house for miles, but she didn’t care she just knew she had to get out and get back to the guys where she was safe.

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four

#kissed by the baddest bidder #kbtbb #eisuke ichinomiya #kbtbb eisuke #voltage otome #L365 #voltage inc #kbtbb fanfic #kbtbb fandom

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snowdice · 5 years

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Something Left (Part 1 of the series Is There Anything Left of Patton?)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Virgil & Logan, Logan/Patton(?)

Characters: Logan, Virgil, Patton(?)

Summary: Virgil has been living in Logan’s house for 3 months and they get along pretty good. Their abilities seem to balance each other out making them a good team for the apocalyptic world outside their door.

Then he finds the secret in Logan’s basement... He almost wishes that secret was as simple as he first thought it was.

In which I set up a world where Logan is probably crying like 85% of the time.

Notes: Zombie Apocalypse AU, Past major character death(?), Look it’s a zombie AU so you can probably guess why there’s a question mark after everything involving Patton.

Three months. It had been what passed for a normal three months, a good three months even. Especially when compared to the three months before it and even more to the three months before that. Don’t even get him started on the three months before that; those months had been the shittiest months. Those three months had started out with him working at a coffee shop trying to pay rent while look for a better job and ended with him almost dying because he had to jump off a bridge into running water to save himself from a pack of zombies.

These last three months had been good comparatively. This was mostly because he’d been living in Logan’s house for almost the entire time. Logan’s house had actually been his (as far as Virgil could tell) from before. That or he’d bothered to lug cases of old college textbooks with his handwriting scribbled in the margins and boxes of photographs with him in them through the zombie apocalypse.

It was a nice house even now and sat on the outskirts of what used to be a town. Virgil had no idea how he’d managed to hold down the fort during the outbreak or how he’d managed to not get overrun after it. He imagined that the population of the dead in the vicinity of his house was a lot smaller now than it had been at onset, but it was still sizable enough that Virgil had almost gotten eaten while scavenging in a neighboring house. That is how his met Logan.

Virgil had been certain he’d been about to die since he’d just barely been holding back teeth from chomping his face, when a single bullet had gone through the zombie’s head and embedded itself right to the left of Virgil’s own skull. Even just the one gunshot, of course, alerted every mindless carnivore in the area of their location, so they’d scrambled into his house to wait it out.

Virgil had just… not left. He’d never really been invited, but he’d also never been asked to leave so he’d just stayed. He contributed of course. Virgil was pretty good with the little garden out back while Logan seemed to have… whatever the opposite of a green thumb was. He seemed to appreciate Virgil taking it over. Virgil was pretty sure the plants themselves cried in relief.

Despite his lack of skill in the gardening department, Logan was pretty good at things like hunting (managing to only kill the zombie and not also shoot Virgil had not been a lucky shot) and keeping the house structurally sound. They both were okay at scavenging which was much easier with two of them and they worked well together.

Also, Logan was nice to talk to, especially since Virgil had been alone for a long time during the last year. He was a good guy if a bit eccentric. He’d disappear for hours into the maze that was his house and Virgil often found him reading in odd places, but he was chill and smart.

Well.

At least, that’s what Virgil had thought.

“God dammit. You’re one of those people. Fuck.” Virgil said.

“It,” he said standing in his secret, fucking, dead body prison basement, “It isn’t like that.”

“You know, Logan,” Virgil said. “That’s what they all say.” He gestured at the thing in the cage. Even though he knew there was nothing going on in its head, Virgil couldn’t help but feel a bit of pity for it all trussed up like that in the corner, squirming and making horrible sounds behind a gag. “So, what? Huh? Is it someone you think you care about too much to put out of its misery even though it might kill anything it comes into contact with? Are you keeping it for some sort of last-minute defense for your house? Do you do science experiments on it out of some perverted need to know more about them? Tell me, because I’ve honestly run the gambit of crazy assholes in the last year.”

“No,” Logan said. “I…” he sighed. “You don’t understand.”

“Oh, I don’t understand?” Virgil scoffed. “Why don’t you explain it to me? Why do you have a zombie in the basement of your house. The house I lived in for the past three months without you thinking to tell me about this?”

Logan looked at him for a moment. “Very well.” He grabbed a set of keys on the wall and moved over to the enclosure.

Virgil lunged forward to grab his arm when he moved to put the key in the lock. “Don’t you fucking dare!”

Logan didn’t try to pull away from his hold. He just spoke calmly, face neutral. “He is restrained well on the other side of this cell. I will lock the door behind me. You won’t be in danger.”

“You’re fucking nuts,” Virgil spat. “What am I supposed to do. Just stand on the other side of the bars and watch you get ripped to shreds by that thing?”

“I will not get ripped to shreds,” Logan promised. “I’ve been in that cell many times. I know how to deal with him. Please let me explain myself.”

Virgil cursed, but released him. He took a few long steps back while Logan unlocked the cage. His warry eyes went to the creature who was stirring at the noise, but it did seem well restrained. As he had promised, Logan locked the door behind himself.

The thing grew more agitated as Logan approached, straining against its bonds and making sickening noises behind the gag. Logan went to his knees in front of it, a sad smile on his face. “Hello Patton.” Logan reached for the handcuff locks.

“You’re so fucking nuts!” Virgil said, but it did not deter the other man and it was not like Virgil could stop him from the other side of the bars. He didn’t even have the keys if he wanted to enter the cage. When Logan released the thing’s arms, it reached forward, its fingers grazing Logan’s cheeks in a move Virgil recognized. He’d seen people get pulled in with motions like that. Mindless dead fingers grabbed and grabbed, pulling you toward deadly teeth so they could tear you apart. The only thing keeping Logan from being a snack was the gag in the things mouth, but as Virgil watched, he reached up a hand to take that out. From experience, Virgil expected it to lunge directly towards Logan’s neck, but it… but it didn’t.

It continued to reach for him, and the raspy moans got even more haunting without the gag smothering them, but it did not attack. Despite all rational thought, Virgil felt himself draw closer to the bars of the cell to watch. Logan calmly set the gag to the side as though he was not being clawed at by a mindless dead thing and then, he reached up to press the inside of his wrist to the creature’s mouth. “I don’t know why,” Logan said, very much not being bitten. The creature seemed discontented with this new thing covering its mouth and titled its face to get away. “Perhaps it is a different strain of the virus or something went wrong with the turning. Maybe it’s just him. He was a good man in his life. He wouldn’t even let me kill bugs he found in the house. Perhaps there is an echo of that leftover that keeps him from hurting people. Or maybe it’s just me; I wouldn’t risk anyone else to test out if he’d attack another. That’s why I keep him restrained here.”

“I…” Virgil said. “Fuck.”

Logan looked up and Virgil was shocked to see that despite the level tone he’d been using the whole time, there were tears leaking from his eyes. “You can see why I can’t just finish him off though. Even if perhaps I should. I just…” and his voice finally wavered as he gave an aborted sob. The creature reached and reached mindlessly for him, brushing his face again and again with its fingertips. Logan grabbed its hands and held them between his own. “I-I don’t know what you want, dear,” he whispered. The creature wiggled and pulled against the grip. Logan cleared his throat. “Virgil would you perhaps mind sliding me the first aid kit on the table over there?”

Virgil obeyed, grabbing it and sliding it through the bars to him. He took it and opened it with practiced ease. “You’ve hurt yourself again,” Logan said at a volume that made Virgil sure it was not meant for him. “Here, I’ll fix you right up. It’s okay.” There was a minute pause in the sounds it made. A reaction to the words? To the tone of them? Or did it just finally need a breath? Virgil could not be sure. It did not pause in the reaching, and the moaning started full force again right after. Logan rubbed some sort of cream into a mark near the creature’s elbow.

“Does that work?” Virgil asked. Most zombies he’d seen didn’t appear like they ever healed. They were often rotted and limping.

“He’s still living in some sense of the word. He heals if wounds are properly treated and he has enough nutrition. In fact, he seems to heal faster than before.”

Nutrition. “And uh, what do you feed him?”

“Meat. He doesn’t seem to have a preference for cooked or raw. He won’t eat anything else. Well, except for baked potatoes for some reason.”

“Backed potatoes?”

“He won’t eat mashed or fried.”

The creature stopped reaching for Logan in favor of attempted to get at the cream on its skin with its mouth. “No,” Logan scolded. It did not respond. He pushed its head back and picked up bandages to start wrapping the area.

“You know this is crazy, right?” Virgil asked.

“I do, but what do you expect me to do when there is something left of him?”

“I. Fuck,” was Virgil’s response. “Fuck.”

Want to read more? This is now part of a series! Click below for the next part of this story.

Someone You’ll Never Meet

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #logicality #adriana writes #zombie au #past major character death #angst #italop

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #383

“the big bully try to stick his finger in my chest / try to tell me, tell me he’s the best / i don’t really give a good goddamn ‘cuz i got my lunchbox & i’m armed real well”

Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Well yeah. Most of my friends are online, and while I've seen pictures of most at least once or twice, some I still haven't. The last time you threw up, what caused it? It was a side effect of a mood stabilizer I started. Any foods from other countries you would like to try but haven’t yet? I'm sure there's something, idk. Do you think the world would be more peaceful without any religion? Yes. Have you ever had a stalker? No. Does it hurt your feelings when people talk shit about things you love? It makes me self-conscious way more than anything. I start to obsess over whether or not the person things poorly or weirdly of me for liking what I like. I just feel judged for liking it, but that's my problem. Do you like it when people give you nicknames? I do, actually. It feels kinda affectionate to me. Do you often find yourself checking out people’s butts? Haha I'm not gonna say it's never happened, but it's not something I make a habit out of for sure. What fandoms are you in? MEERKAT MANOR IS BACK BAYBEEEE, Markiplier, Silent Hill, Shadow of the Colossus, World of Warcraft, Spyro, Wings of Fire, and lots more, honestly. I'm into a lot of stuff, and I don't love in moderation, haha. Are there any fandoms you used to be in, but left? Yeah, like Supernatural, Good Mythical Morning, or Warriors, but it wasn't out of "I don't like it anymore" or anything, I just drifted away. Anything the fans in your fandoms do that pisses you off? World of Warcraft if particular has one of the most toxic fucking fanbases. There are so many goddamn elitists and people who whine about "boohoo WoW is dying" and "omg this game has been trash since Wrath" and yada yada yada and it's annoying as hell. They always find some shit to complain about. Then Silent Hill... ugh. I think people just hop onto the "the series sux after 1-4" bandwagon to fit in with a certain crowd, but that's not the main thing that annoys me; rather, it's the fact the former main admin of the SH wiki made a fucking joke out of us there. He was clearly having personal issues and made a HUGE and utterly ridiculous deal of Silent Hill 4 having heavy symbolism to the main character being obsessed with the bullshit idea of him being circumcised, and it led to a maaaassive thread of us members trying to talk some damn sense into him as he abused his power. He was finally banned by the Wikia staff, but not in time for some gaming websites to publish "news" stories about it because it was just that ludicrous. Now, YEARS later, we still get trolls coming onto the site to try and revive the drama by inserting absolute rubbish into pages or making new ones. Nowadays I'm the main administrator there, and it's fucking embarrassing sometimes. I'm supposed to keep the wiki under control and respected, you know? Ugh, I'll stop. I could rant for a very long time about this. Do you prefer ruffly or regular potato chips? Ruffly. Do you write down your own recipes, or just commit them to memory? I don’t cook. What color do you want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, lilac, and a light creamsicle orange. I REALLY want to dye it SOMETHING. :( How do you like your chicken? Of course breaded (like nuggets, tenders) is my favorite, but I also enjoy is broiled and seasoned well. There's other ways, but because I don't cook, I, uh... don't know how a lot are made lmao. Do you enjoy cheese fries? UUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH YES. Do you eat refried beans? I absolutely hate beans, so no. What is a food you enjoy, but don’t have very often? A whole lot because a lot of it is from restaurants and we don't eat out all that much. As well, my diet is very narrow just because of how picky I am. Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Why? I mean, what are we comparing them for? I think Audrey is fucking gorgeous, though. Marilyn is also beautiful. Favorite fictional world? Uh, I dunno. Do you use lint rollers often? No. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want to. Has your power ever gone out for more than a day? I think so. Other than a dislike button, what’s something you wish Facebook had? Hm, I dunno. What time do your parents normally get home from work? Mom can't work right now, but I think Dad gets off around 5PM. Are you afraid to ask people out on dates? Yep. Do you think it’s better to look for love or let it find you? Both can work, but I definitely prefer to let it find me. I feel that *in general* that usually has better results. Have you ever found yourself worrying about commitment? No. I'm a very committed person romantically. Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? No. Have you ever had a rash from poison ivy? I don't believe so, no. Do you have any chairs in your bedroom? No. Did you watch Elmo as a child? Some, yeah. Do you know anyone who doesn’t eat meat? I don't think so, off the top of my head. When you throw up, do you cry? No, but I'm a whiner and will also shake from fear because I have such a phobia of vomiting. Doing it totally turns me into a baby. Who was the last person to carry you? I couldn't tell you the last person to full-on carry me, but back when I tore a ligament in my foot, my mom kinda had me lifted when she would help me walk. Is it easy for you to accept loss? Absolutely not. I handle it very, very poorly. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had a rolling back pack? Yes. Who knows you better than anyone else? My mom, probably. Would you ever want to go to Brazil? Sure, if the opportunity came up. Are there any medical conditions that run in your family? A lot, mostly heart problems. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica imo. Who is the biggest jerk you've ever met? She was somehow my former best friend. Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never been in that situation, thankfully. What's a charity you would never donate to? I'm really not familiar enough with charities and their practices to know which ones are sketch or not. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you have any exes you'd consider dating again? Yes. What were some of your favorite classes you took in high school? Art and German. Mythology was fun, too. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Yeah, I have a cousin that's a lawyer. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, outta curiosity. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like, two days. Part of the reason I left Girt was because I liked Sara. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? Chicken noodle soup. What's a movie series where the sequel was better than the original? Ha, for some reason Inspector Gadget came to mind. I guess from mentioning my childhood. I was FUCKING OBSESSED with that movie as a kid. The first one's fine, but I love the second one. Does your car have heated seats? Mom's doesn't. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing strange, really. Describe your hometown. What’s it like there? Small and dangerous. Lots of run-down areas. A gang nearly broke into our house once, if that helps you get the picture. What was the last video game you beat? I replayed Silent Hill 2 forever ago. What did you learn from your last failed relationship? It really just taught me that you need to take care of your own mental health before you can effectively handle another's properly and strike a healthy balance. What country does your favorite band hail from? Britain. What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done? Finish decorating my room. -_- Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it? Good Mythical Morning, I suppose. I used to be OB-SESSED. I still adore Rhett and Link as people, they are fucking wonderful human beings and excellent entertainers, I just drifted away from their content. I don't really know why. Do you sleep with the TV or the radio on? No. What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)? Menstrual cycles, I'd say. It affects your mood so much, and as someone who's bipolar, it can be very confusing. I like to know why I'm feeling a certain way. What movie has the best special effects? /shrug How many work hours per week is too much for you? I wouldn't know, I've never really worked long enough to figure this out. Can you remember your first day of school? I think I have the faintest memory of it. I know I was very scared to leave my mom (I had absolutely awful separation anxiety from her) and I MIGHT have cried, but I don't really recall with certainty. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No thanks. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Most, no, because the level of cringe is LITERALLY unbearable for me. Do you have a safe? Mom does somewhere. What’s the scariest thing to happen to you so far? The breakup. That night was just fucking terrifying. I was so certain my life was over, like the situation was so, so impossible in my head. What was your last dream about? (or your daydream if you don’t remember) My memory's faint, but I just remember I had a nightmare where a LOT of my bones were totally snapped in half. When was the last time you saw a relative? Excluding my immediate family, I last saw my now-departed grandmother and my uncle a while back at a hotel as they were passing through. Have you ever been in a TV audience? No. Are you in any way close to reaching a personal goal? Not really... Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Do you like making collages? Not really. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? No. What would you love to learn to do? Digital art, like drawing on a tablet. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Lemurs. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot, 100%. Are you more shy in real life or on the internet? I am WAY more shy irl.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''lunchbox'' by marilyn manson

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