#i wonder if Link will be an adult or a child in this movie

[veggiecorner]

are there any specific irl people who you think are worthy of playing link? I know thinking of actual good castings will just disappoint me in the long run but I cannot think of someone I would be ok with playing link and it is driving me INSANE. Also, talking link, mute link, or kinda quiet link?

I love myself (arguable) so i'm not gonna look at white men

The initial announcement, regardless of WHO it is will emotionally hurt all of us - even if its a good casting (really doubt that, unless they get the person who casted people for the one piece live action). I don't think the Zelda movie is going to be awful, I just...at the moment can't even imagine how it'll be...well, feeling like Zelda. I also associate live action with more serious themes so it's hard to think of an actor who could capture the fun and whimsical parts of Zelda - if there are even going to be parts of it.

As for how much Link talks......tbh i always KNEW Link was eventually going to talk, I didn't have a problem with that. But I do see him as kinda quiet, only speaking when necessary. Like...less talkative than he is in the mangas. I would be sooo pleasantly surprised and happy if they went with a mute Link but lets be for real.............

[innuendostudios]

new video about Edgar Wright's Cornetto Trilogy, and how everyone* keeps getting them wrong! this video is sponsored by Nebula, a place where you can watch the original version of this video before I had to tweak it for YouTube's copyright bots. (by clicking that link, you can get an annual subscription for 40% off.) or you can just back me on Patreon, which is also cool and good.

transcript below the cut.

I adore Edgar Wright’s Cornetto Trilogy. I flirted with making a video about it ages ago, had a draft of a script, but ultimately decided it wasn’t about anything except “here’s a thing I like, and here are its (I thought) very obvious themes.” So I shelved it. But, in the years since, I have seen multiple video essayists on this here website claim that these movies are about growing up and taking responsibility. (I say “multiple.” It’s not a lot. But it’s more than one! And that’s enough.)

These people are 100% wrong.

Lemme lay it out: the Cornetto Trilogy is not about growing up. It is not about taking responsibility. It is the exact opposite, and that’s not subtext. It is three movies about stunted manchildren thrust into extraordinary circumstances, and each, in the end, is saved - is redeemed - by abandoning his character arc and failing to grow or change. It is a three-part love letter to immaturity.

And I guess I have to set the record straight.

Sometimes making a video about a thing you love is an act of appreciation. And sometimes it’s out of spite.

The Cornetto Trilogy is three movies: Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and The World’s End. All three are written by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright; Pegg stars, and Wright directs; all three center on a relationship between Pegg and real-life best friend Nick Frost, which makes each film a reunion of the core team behind Spaced (excepting, but for a small role in Shaun of the Dead, Jessica Hynes). The three films span three genres: zombie apocalypse, buddy cop, alien invasion; each features a Cornetto ice cream cone: strawberry to represent blood, original blue to represent the police, and mint to represent little green men; this is a joking nod to Krzysztof Kieślowski’s Trois Couleur films, Bleu, Blanc, and Rouge, which were based on the colors and themes of the French flag (I don’t care what you say, Emily: #TeamRouge); that nod is funny because Trois Couleur is high-art drama and these are comedies. All three are parodies of, tributes to, and actually surprisingly good executions of their respective genres. And the hook, the gag at the center of all these movies, is that Simon Pegg plays a character wholly unsuited to be starring in this kind of film.

Shaun, the burnout, is the wrong person to survive the zombie apocalypse; by-the-book British bobby Nicholas is the wrong person to lead an American-style bombastic actioner; and alcoholic asshole Gary is the last person to save the world from aliens.

And I think that’s where people get stuck. Because “schlub finds himself protagonist of a genre film” is the elevator pitch for like a dozen Adam Sandler movies. The genre trappings may be as mundane as parenthood or mandated anger management classes, or as high-concept as action movie, whodunnit, or time travel It’s a Wonderful Life if Clarence were Christopher Walken as the angel of death (that… that makes it sound good, it’s not, don’t see Click; leave Frank Capra alone, Adam). But all these movies have the same basic shape: an extraordinary situation forces a guy to confront his shortcomings, which always stem from having never grown up. And you probably haven’t seen all of these movies, but if you’ve seen any, I bet you have assumptions about how the rest end: even though “Adam Sandler acts like a child” is generally the selling point of an Adam Sandler movie, they all end with some lip service toward becoming an adult: hey man, grow up a bit; appreciate your family a little more; square your shoulders; clean your room. This is so standard, it was parodied mercilessly in Funny People.

And this was a formative microgenre for my generation! Whole universe turns itself upside down to teach some shitty dude to, like, do the dishes and pay his wife a compliment now and then - Liar Liar, Bruce and Evan Almighty (all directed by the same guy, by the way). So I don’t blame people of a certain age for seeing the first act of Shaun of the Dead and thinking “I know where this is going.” And when, at the last minute, it swerves and goes someplace else, you could read that as a gag, a final subversion of expectation, still the same basic shape. But no! No! Once is a gag - thrice??? Thrice is a thematic statement!

So lemme make my case. I’ma take you through these movies one by one - we’ll talk about the manchildren and the expectations set by the genre, and then we’ll talk about that last-minute swerve and what it means. And then you’ll tell me I’m right and apologize!

Shaun of the Dead:

Shaun is a man in his twenties. What kind of manchild is he? He’s the slacker.

What is his problem? He needs to sort his life out. Shaun doesn’t know how to take action. He hasn’t advanced since college - he’s been working the kind of job a teen takes over the summer for like a decade, lives with the same best friend, has the same petty fights with his stepdad, goes to the same pub every week with the same group of people. He can’t make a reservation, he can’t manage a calendar, he’s a washup. This makes his girlfriend, Liz, feel stifled, trapped; he is a weight around her ankle, taking her on the same date week after week, keeping her from living her own dreams, having her own adventures. She gives him one last chance to prove he can sort his life out, and he blows it, and she dumps him.

And then: a zombie movie happens.

The genre forces him to confront his shortcomings: to survive, and save his loved ones, he’ll have to take action, make plans, be decisive. This is a common fantasy: when you feel ground down by the mundanity of life, you might imagine, oh, if only a crisis would happen, like a zombie virus outbreak, where my normal-life problems like “am I gonna make rent,” “is my girl gonna take me back,” “is my roommate gonna kick out my stoner buddy who’s crashing on the couch” become meaningless, and it’s immediately clear what’s really important, what matters. Then I’d know exactly what to do. It’s why disaster movies work as escapism: a necromantic plague - or at least the fantasy of one - is sometime preferable to normal life.

Hot Fuzz:

Nicholas is a man in his thirties. What kind of manchild is he? He’s the hall monitor.

What is his problem? He can’t switch off. He is a hypercompetant police officer with a rulebook where his brain should be. He’s so good at being a cop that he’s spotting and unraveling crimes even on his day off. He can’t maintain a relationship, has no friends, all his coworkers hate him because he keeps finishing their work for them, and his stats show up the rest of the force so badly that they scuttle him out to the country.

Now you might be thinking, “Mmm. A fastidious police officer who can’t have fun? How is that a manchild? Sounds pretty grown-up to me. You’re reaching, bud.” Ohhhh ho ho, smartass, do you remember this scene? [bar scene] Yeah! Nicholas Angel has a five-year-old’s notion of law and order. He’s still playing cops and robbers.

And that’s a problem, because then: an action movie happens.

It doesn’t happen all at once: he goes out to the country and finds they do things a bit differently there. They are (ostensibly) less concerned with rules than what than the rules are for: if the purpose of drinking laws is to keep the streets safe and orderly, and letting some people off with a warning or allowing kids drink so long as they do it inside achieves that end, the rule can be bent. That’s a judgment grown-ups can make; I mean, they’re the ones who wrote the rules in the first place. So be lenient with shoplifters, don’t hassle people for speeding; this isn’t the Big City, you can use your better judgment. But Nicholas never got past doing whatever Mom & Dad said; obedience, and trusting whoever’s up the chain, is his entire moral framework. He can’t accept that bending the law could be more righteous than following it.

But also maybe there’s a criminal conspiracy murdering people and writing it off as accidents and the police chief might be in on it. Or maybe Nicholas is so desperate for a big case with no moral ambiguity that he’s seeing things where they aren’t. 

The genre forces him to confront his shortcomings: either there’s nothing going on and he needs to chill out about procedure, or the department is corrupt and he’ll have to go rogue like it’s Point Break - and this is how he experiences Point Break. [“paperwork”]

No matter what, he’ll have to bend the rules, which he constitutionally cannot do.

The World’s End:

Gary is a man in his forties. What kind of manchild is he? He’s the delinquent.

What’s his problem? Pfffft. What isn’t his problem? Gary is a manipulative, narcissistic, lying, self-destructive, ignorant, violent, thieving, shit-talking, unapologetic asshole who peaked in high school when being all those things was still kind of badass. The greatest night of his life was the drunken pub crawl after graduation he and his friends didn’t even finish, and he’s been tumbling downhill ever since. He’s spent his life ruining everyone who knows him until there’s no one left to ruin but Gary King. So now it’s time to bully the old gang into going back home with him to relive that night by finishing the pub crawl, because, in his own words, it’s all he’s got. And he and his friends have to confront how home has changed since they left - the bars have gentrified, not everyone recognizes them; the defining, epic deeds of Gary’s youth have been forgotten. You can’t actually go back because that place doesn’t exist anymore.

And then: a sci-fi movie happens.

Turns out the town’s been taken over by aliens, and all the people who couldn’t conform to their new order have been replaced with robots! That’s why no one recognizes them! And that’s why the pubs all look the same: the aliens are homogenizing everything! And it’s clear, if they can’t get Gary and his friends to play ball, they’ll roboticize them as well! The obvious move is to get the hell out of town, but Gary keeps inventing excuses to stay and finish the pub crawl, and they sound pretty sensible because the group’s already five pints in. The genre forces him to confront his shortcomings: sooner or later he’s gonna have to give up on recapturing his youth and do what’s best for him and his friends now, even if it means running back to the city where all his problems live.

So there we have it: the characters cross the threshold into an unfamiliar world where an external conflict cannot be addressed without resolving the tension within. The slacker will have to get his shit sorted, the hall monitor will have to break the rules, and the delinquent will have to do what’s good for him. And, to an extent, all three know this! The movies Wright and Pegg pay homage to exist in these stories - Shaun knows what a zombie is, Danny keeps Nicholas up watching Point Break and Bad Boys II, and Gary and friends know bodysnatcher movies so well they have philosophical debates with the robots about whether “robot” is the PC term.

So, yeah, if you turned the movies off there, I could forgive you for thinking that’s where they’re headed. But you goofballs watched them to the end and then made content about them, what is wrong with you???

What actually happens in the second halves of these movies?

Shaun twigs that he’s in a zombie movie and, at first, tries to play the part - his survival plans are miniature hero’s journeys with him as protagonist, wherein he’ll save the day by neatly confronting all his flaws. He’ll resolve parental conflict by saving his mom from his zombified stepdad, resolve romantic conflict by showing his girl he can come through when it counts, and resolve internal conflict by being a man who saves the day. And all his plans suck! It’s just the same plan he always comes up with! Dragging around the same useless liability of a bestie, collecting the same group of people, and holing up in the same pub! He doesn’t save his mom: his stepdad apologizes, resolving their conflict for him, and then survives in zombie form but Shaun’s mom gets killed; most of the friend group gets killed because the crisis does not actually suspend but in fact amplifies their personal grievances; and he doesn’t save the day, just manages not to die long enough for the military to show up.

But… well, Liz wanted adventure and now she’s had enough for a lifetime, so… she’s down to just be boring with him for a while - sit on the couch, watch TV, hit the pub. Beats running for your life. Tensions with the roommate are gone cuz roommate died, but rent is covered cuz Liz moved in. Zombies don’t get eradicated, just folded into normal life, so Shaun can mindlessly play video games with his bestie forever, and it’s not a problem that bestie doesn’t have an income cuz he doesn’t need food or shelter.

The zombie apocalypse doesn’t make Shaun sort his life out, it changes the world til he doesn’t have to.

When Nicholas discovers that, yes, there is definitely a murderous criminal conspiracy inside the police department, he recognizes the only way to bring about justice is to become what Danny has always wanted and go Dirty Harry on the town. It’s either that or just swallow the crimes. But he does neither. He and Danny go on an epic shooting spree, recreating famous movie scenes, taking out the entire criminal organization against all odds, and spouting badass one-liners… but everyone who helps them is a cop, they don’t actually kill anyone, all perps are formally arrested, and they fill out all the paperwork. I think he even properly signs out the weapons. He never switches off, never breaks a rule, does absolutely everything by the book, only… louder. And this violent showdown saves him from the chill town with lax rules he thought he’d moved to. Now he, with his five-year-old notion of right and wrong, is in charge of the police department.

The buddy cop actioner doesn’t make Nicholas bend the rules, it changes the world til he doesn’t have to.

Gary knows exactly how a movie of this sort is supposed to go and spends the whole movie running from it. Friends and secondary characters keep sharing these poignant moments with him, because they know this story, too: yeah, he’s gonna reject help at first, but sooner or later he’ll hit rock bottom and then someone will get through to him. And, as the night goes on, and the characters get drunker and drunker, and Gary passes up more and more opportunities to abandon the pub crawl and go home, these moments take a tone of desperation. They start to sound more like interventions; like, Gary, we all know you’re going to come to your senses but could you hurry up with it??? How many of your friends need to literally die for you to shape up? Are you gonna get them all killed?

And the answer is: Gary will never shape up! To Gary the Human Dril Tweet, his friends trying to save him, psychiatrists trying to treat him, and aliens trying to assimilate him are all the same thing. He doggedly makes it to the end of the pub crawl and confronts the alien overlord who tells him all the technological advancements of the past few decades - all the efficiency and homogenization that’ve changed the face of his home town - are their doing. The Information Age is an intervention on behalf of Earth, a pan-galactic effort to save humanity from itself. And the reason they’ve been replacing people with robots is some people are too fucked up to go along with it.

And here’s Gary, King of the Fuckups, brashly declaring that fucking up is what makes us human. There is no freedom without the freedom to ruin your life. We are endowed by our creator with the right to be drunken, ornery pieces of shit.

He tells the aliens to piss off and he’s so fucking annoying that they do, and they take the Information Age with them.

Now… I know… ugh… I know a lot of people love this movie, say it’s the best of the three. Some friends who’ve struggled with mental health or just being an adult under late capitalism really identify with Gary, and the valorization of being a mess. I see you, you’re not wrong, I get it, I really do. But can we just… not “but” but “also” can we… can we also admit that this ending is… this is Space Brexit.

Like, literally it’s an alien invasion but symbolically this is Gary rejecting the adult world of rules and authority and doing what’s best for the community and that’s how Brexiters view the EU. And people keep telling him “Gary, this is in your best interest” and Gary says, I don’t want my best interest! I am registered in the anti-Gary’s Face Party and I will cast my vote by cutting my nose! I choose to do what’s bad for me.

And, like a true Brexiter, he chooses for everybody.

Now tell me that’s a movie about growing up. Gary collapses human civilization in its entirety rather than change, and in the world that follows, he thrives… by being an immature, irresponsible bag of garbage.

To Wright and Pegg, growing up is death, and these are movies about being alive. These characters don’t cross the threshold back into the ordinary world with the ultimate boon of character growth; all three stay in the extraordinary world. The zombies remain, the robots remain, Nicholas is offered his London job back and chooses to stay in the country. These are stories about normal life spontaneously turning into a genre film, and they are made with deep love for those genres; why would they end with leaving those genres behind? Because it’s what Adam Sandler would do?

So there you have it. I rest my case.

“Okay Ian. Why does this matter?”

…what was that?

“You’ve made your point: these movies aren’t about growing up or taking responsibility. So what?”

Uhhhh.

“Bring it home for us.”

…

“Why do you care so much?

[breath]

I wrote the first draft of this script when I was around Shaun and Nicholas’ age, and “so what?” is why I shelved it. Now I’m Gary’s age, this video’s been in the back of my brain the whole time, but I got this far and “so what” is where I got stuck, again. This is why the CO-VIDs came out quicker, cuz I let myself end with “so that’s interesting!” and got on with my life. But there’s clearly something sticky here, more than “someone is wrong on the internet.” (Also, to the YouTubers I’m vaguebooking, who said these were movies about growing up - I’m way more annoyed at the folks I’ve argued with on Twitter about this, you just made a better rhetorical device; you do not owe me an apology!) (Also, to the commentariat: I am not extrapolating this from like two data points, this is chronic and recurring and has been bothering me for years.)

There are a few directions I could take this to give it some “cultural weight.” I could put on my social justice hat and talk about how the “crisis of adulthood” doesn’t play as broad comedy unless you look like Adam Sandler or Simon Pegg, or put on my class analysis hat and talk about how signifiers of adulthood are, traditionally, ways of spending and accruing capital which are, today, often inaccessible to people under 40.

And that’s all legit, but here’s the real deal: I’m just mad at Gary. The world changed around Shaun such that he could stay a child. And Nicholas ended up somewhere he could stay a child. If you missed that, you’re wrong, but whatever. But to say that Gary grew up grinds me, because Gary chose this. The whole movie is people telling him to grow up, and he says no! He says it out loud! He says it to the literal end of the world. To walk out of the theater and say “that’s a movie about growing up” is more than a mistake, it’s a refusal. It’s trying to “fix” the movie by fitting it into a more familiar shape, so it doesn’t say what it says, so Gary isn’t who he is, who he chooses to be.

I’m being cheeky when I say this because he’s a fictional character, but saying Gary grew up is enabling.

Gary says there’s no freedom without the freedom to ruin your life, which is the problem with alcoholics and libertarians: it’s not just your life, Gary! You live in a community, a culture, and an ecosystem! Your actions - everybody’s actions - impact other people! That’s just the way the world is! You can’t shit yourself at the bar without other people having to smell it. We’re all fuckin’ connected, man! You don’t want anyone’s will imposed on you; you spend the whole movie imposing your will on everyone else! You say humans don’t wanna be told what to do, and then you decide humanity’s future by yourself with no input or consent from anyone!

People point to Gary ordering water in the last scene instead of beer as evidence that he got sober, like that’s proof that he did grow up in the end, which are you fucking joking??? Getting sober is a shorthand for maturity the way buying a house is, it doesn’t signify anything in and of itself! Gary drank to escape the adult world of rules and responsibilities! So, yeah, under normal circumstances getting sober would mean he’s made peace with that world and is ready to integrate. But that’s not what happened! The thing he was escaping doesn’t exist anymore! He literally destroyed it!! People died! Probably millions! Now he lives a happy life LARPing as Omega Doom - no I don’t expect you to catch that reference! He doesn’t need to drink! He is literally reliving the best day of his life forever. And even if it did mean personal growth, the idea that a person could make what would be, unequivocally, the most selfish decision in human history, and then spend his life celebrating the outcome, oh but if he overcame a personal demon in the process then on balance that’s maturity? That is lightspeed solipsism! Who are you if you think that way? Are you all Adam Sandler???

And none of that makes this a bad ending, or Gary a bad character. I mean, he is the reason The World’s End is my least favorite, and I don’t like the ending, but I don’t think it’s bad that I don’t like the ending. Rather than watch another addict pull his life together or destroy himself, we watch a downward spiral with so much gravity the whole world self-destructs alongside him. And that’s why The World’s End is the most interesting of the three: it is a bold choice, and I think we are free to feel however we want about the conclusion Gary engineered for himself. I don’t think it’s valid to pretend it didn’t happen.

In the context of the trilogy, we see that Shaun’s immaturity is mostly a problem for Shaun: he would be, at worst, a footnote in the lives of the people who love him; “yeah, I liked Shaun a lot, but I couldn’t carry him through life anymore.” Nicholas is the kind of overachiever that is useful if pointed in the right direction; juvenile code of ethics aside, he is, empirically, helping the community (within the entirely fictional framework where that’s a thing police do). If the world hadn’t changed to turn their flaws into strengths, they would still be relatively harmless. Gary is what happens when immaturity isn’t harmless, and shows us how a world built by that immaturity would look.

There is an appeal to Gary King, a wish fulfillment. Letting your id fully off the leash because you no longer care what anybody thinks - it’s why some people drink, and it’s why some people would like to drink with Gary. But if that’s not just your Friday night, not just your twenties, but that’s your life? There is a destination at the end of that road, and it’s Gary doing something truly ugly. And we see that ugly thing the way Gary sees it: as awesome. But then you see the reality: the Monday morning after the Friday night. We went out with Gary and he did something terrible.

And I’m not telling you to hate Gary for it; I’m not saying Gary can’t be forgiven. In fact, seeing it for what it is is the only way Gary could be forgiven, because, if he “grew up and took responsibility,” there’s nothing to forgive.

I think this is the only way the trilogy could have ended. I mean, you make stories about boys who get older and older and don’t grow up, it eventually becomes a problem. There’s only two ways to resolve it: you either end with a guy actually sorting his shit out, or you go for broke and show what happens if he doesn’t. And I think some of us boys saw that and said, “no, noooo, they did grow up! all three of them!” rather than say, “haha! hahaaa! ……………shit.”

[wangxianficfinder]

In The Mood For...

June 22nd

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1. Hi, i really like your blog, it is very helpful, i was wondering if you could find a wangxian fanfics that are completely fluff, just wangxian living their post-canon, domestic lives, as husbands. humor is preferred.

Thank you, if you have already replied to a request similar to mine, please just link that blog in the answer. @honestlyewww

As You Like It by cosmicmilktea (T, 8k, wangxian, post-canon, food as a metaphor for love, tea, light angst, fluff)

The (Several) Convenient Kidnappings of the Chief Cultivator by the Yiling Patriarch by misscam (M, 3k, WangXian, Humor, Spoilers, mush of series and novel, some adult action, Switching)

Wei Wuxian, God of Fertility by tired (T, 19k, WangXian, Family Feels, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack, the juniors get REAL drunk, Gossip, POV Multiple, surprisingly not an mpreg fic, Kissing, Self-Esteem Issues, Discussion of Porn and Sex, Post-Canon, SOFT SOFT SOFT, married wangxian, Fluff and Humor)

The Grandmaster of Demonic Reproduction by likeafox (E, 7k, WangXian, Kid Fic, not mpreg, but not-not mpreg?, Pregnancy Kink, Come play, LSZ deserves a sibling)

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2. Hi, I'm itmf Wei Ying with split personality (Preferably canon era) Thank you!

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3. For the next ITMF, I wanna see travelling with Li'l Apple! Gimme your fics that talk about our fave cantankerous donkey. @mreisse

Wearing Down Every Bone by CSHfic, VSfic (E, 30k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Time Loop, Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Case Fic, Curses, Pining, Getting Together, Time Travel, Night Hunts, Hurt wwx, Mystery, Angst with a Happy Ending, Use Your Words, Mutual Pining, Depression and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, gratuitous use of empathy)

lost my fear of falling by thefireplanet (E, 30k, WangXian, HuaLIan, Bodyswap, Wei "My Intrusive Thoughts Are Totally Not Winning" Wuxian, Hua "My Husband Said I Had to Help You" Cheng, YLLZ WWX, WWX-centric, WangXian-centric, Post-Canon, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, Canon-Typical Wangxian Sex Things, One (1) Obscure War Movie Reference, mawage, Mawage is what brings us togeder tooday)

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4. ITMF where JYL and JWY reliazed that WWX is in danger if he stay in Lotus Pier. That threats can come from YZY or JFM or the cultivation world. Just that i want to read a fic where JYL and JWY try to protect WWX @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

🧡 To have and to hold by Moominmammashandbag (M, 78k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Major character injury, CQL verse, Happy Ending)

The Hate and Love of family by Moonlit_dewdrops (T, 20k, WangXian, WIP, Abuse, Near Death, Bad Parent YZY, YZY's A+ Parenting, Protective JC, Protective JYL, Recovery, Trauma, Protective LWJ, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Dynamics, Good Uncle LQR, Not YZY Friendly, Hurt WWX, Panic Attacks)

I Have Arranged to Tie You to Me by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 59k, WIP, WangXian, Lan protective team, Time Travel, Past, LWJ oriented, Arranged Marriage, Boys In Love, Soulmates, Fix-It, Jiang siblings, not jiang parents friendly, Soft LWJ, Protective LWJ, Genius WWX)

a life without sun by thankgodforpandas (T, 30k, WangXian, JC & LXC, JC & WWX, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives, Mutual Pining) which is a bit different but features a protective Jiang Cheng who works to help Wei Wuxian find happiness.

What If..... Jiang Cheng Understood? by ToxicAngel13 (M, 66k, WIP, WangXian, Ribbons, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, WangXian Get Married in the Cold Springs Cave, Protective JC, Confused WWX, Angry LWJ, Fix-It of Sorts, Good Uncle LQR, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, POV LQR, YZY Bashing, POV JFM, Not JFM Friendly, Hurt/Comfort, Protective NHS)

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5. Hi!!! I couldn't find a tag for wwx with short hair, so I was wondering if anyone had any recs? I would prefer for it to not be a modern au tho, thank you!

Mud on Your Feet by AvoOwO (Not Rated, 59k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Nightmares, Sentient Burial Mounds, Burial Mounds, Possession, Panic Attacks, Night Terrors, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Good Sibling JC, Hurt WWX, Soft WangXian, Feels, Blood and Injury, Hallucinations, Delusions, JC Loves WWX, Insomnia, Good Sibling WWX, Sleepwalking, Sleeptalking, LWJ just wants to sleep with his husband, Protective JC, WWX Sees Dead People, LJY pulls through, POV LWJ, Cloud Recesses, PTSD, Post-Canon, YLLZ WWX, resentful energy, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Thirteen Years of WWX's Death, WWX's Three Months in the Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, WWX is tired, LWJ literally just wants to sleep with WWX again is that too much to ask for??, Soft JC, Yunmeng Siblings Feels) wwx gets short hair near the end

Cloudy Memories Recessed by FirefliesNLightningBugs (M, 7k, WIP, JC & JYL & WWX, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Sunshot Campaign, Good Person JZX, Good Sibling JC, Good Sibling JYL, Amnesia, (kind of), Weird Magic, Demonic Cultivation, post wwx disappearing during sunshot campaign, POV Alternating, POV JC, POV JYL, POV WWX) wwx short hair request, there is a ao3 wip called "cloudy memories recessed" by FirefliesNLightningBugs that's set during sunshot post-escape from bm and his hair is so damaged it had to be cut off

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6. Worlds most random in the mood for request… but is there any fic that features Transformers? The idea spawned in my brain and it’s haunting me. Autobots, Decepticons and Wangxian, I can’t be the first person to have thought of that. @cullen-blue23

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7. recs of wwx sad or crying bc of lwj, and lwj feels guilty? thanks for all your hard work!

Honesty is the Best Policy (Except if You’re an Asshole) by piecrust (E, 22k, WangXian, Porn with Feelings, College/University)

🔒 Life is Like a Stranger by through_shadows_falling (T, 69k, wangxian, Kid Fic, Child LWJ, Child WWX, First Meetings, Canon Divergence, Cute Kids, Orphan WWX, Autism Spectrum, Fix-It, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Canon, POV LWJ, Growing Up Together, WWX raised at Cloud Recesses, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Puberty, Growing Up, Coming Out, teenage angst, Wet Dream, Pining, This fic gets a little raunchier as the kids become teens, But it won’t get too explicit, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Spanish Translation, Brief mentions/moments of WWX kissing others in chapter 22 but only on the cheek, also characters kiss WWX on the cheek in chapter 23, but his real first kiss is with LWJ, Перевод на русский | Translation in Russian) Not sure if this is what 7 is looking for because both Wei Wuxian & Lan Wangji are children when Lan Wangji makes Wie Wuxian cry but Life is Like a Stranger. The crying and guilt take place in chapter 4.

Reconnaissance by TomatenMark (M, 2k, WangXian, POV LWJ, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Arguing, Head Injury, LWJ loses his temper, Then instantly regrets it, WWX Whump, WWX Needs a Break, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Where are we? In what point of the timeline? Don't know, there are only vibes here)

~*~

8. itmf fics where there is no war, but wwx eventually leaves the jiang sect anyway--bonus points if it's an unavoidable result of wwx & jc's conflicting values. doesn't need to be bashing--i just want to explore a timeline where wwx can make the choice for himself to walk away, rather than being pushed into a hundred corners by canon

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 258k, WangXian, WIP, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious) Pretty much exactly as requested. No war as the Wens are distracted by infighting, WWX leaves LP due to value conflicts

Debts of a Child Part 2 by Hauntcats (M, 111k, WangXian, YZY Bashing, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Angst and Feels, lots of anger, JC Bashing, not Jiang friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Content warning for icky spiders in later chapters., hurt no comfort for Jiang siblings.)

~*~

9. heyyy admins! any soulmate au's? thanks!

leading tone by silencemostofall (G, 32k, WangXian, Modern AU, Soulmates, with a lil twist, Eventual Happy Ending, Music, Orchestra, [Podfic] Leading Tone by silencemostofall by Beria1021)

pastel by antebunny (G, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Soulmates, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Self-Esteem Issues, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unrequited Love, but not actually, no courtesy names)

Bleachwhite Linen by MonocerosRex (T, 44k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & WWX, JYL & WWX, JC & WWX, LSZ & WWX & LWJ, Modern, Soulmates, not the traditional kind of soulmates exactly, Hospitals, Fluff, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Touch-Starved, lwj and wwx are the softest husbands and they aren't even together yet, Getting Together, Marriage Proposal, Sibling Bonding, handwaving medical procedure and magical systems, worldbuilding is for chumps i'm here for the sugar, Sickfic, or more like convalescence fic but that isn't a tag, POV Multiple, Family Feels, Family Fluff, lxc is a troll and he ships wangxian so hard, wwx deserves and gets gets hugs, Sharing a Bed, Hair Washing, Sleepy Cuddles, Hugs, JYL is a queen)

it goes like this by moonsteps (T, 15k, WangXian, College/University, Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Humor, Fluff, Oblivious WWX, in which wwx is jealous… of himself, some drunken LWJ shenanigans, someone pls save JC, two idiots in love)

💖 nothing you confess by PorcupineGirl (T, 31k, WangXian, Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, POV Alternating, Golden Core Reveal, Depressed WWX, WWX Has PTSD, JC & LWJ Friendship, friendship may be too strong a word more like allies who are gonna love the shit outta post-burial-mounds WWX whether he likes it or not, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery)

💖 The Cruelty of Fate by Procrastination_Sensation (T, 15k, WangXian, Major Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending)

💖 What if you're making me all I was meant to be by WishingStar (T, 12k, WangXian, LSZ & LJY, Angst with a Happy Ending, Soulmates, Time Travel)

🔒💖 No Matter What I Do I Feel The Pain (With or Without Goose) by Trickster_Angel (T, 3k, WangXian, Soulmates, The Soulmate Goose of Enforcement, Crack, Not tagging animal abuse but they have to fight off the geese, Not Serious, Humor, First Kiss)

🔒💖 to hold the wind by androids_fighting93, artbysongs (E, 62k, WangXian, JYL/MM, Soulmates, Modern, Reincarnation, College/University, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Disownment, LWJ Loves Rabbits, Touch-Starved LWJ)

the heartlines on our hands by occultings (microcomets) (E, 47k, wangxian, Soulmates AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, First Time, Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death)

the river and the sea by sasamelons (T, 7k, WangXian, Soulmates, Arranged Marriage, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Falling In Love, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Mutual Pining)

🔒 Bright the Day We Met by ereshai (G, 1k, WangXian, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, POV Outsider, Fluff, Supportive LXC, Soulmates)

~*~

10. any fics where A) lwj is afraid of losing a-yuan/sizhui? not exactly afraid but like sad, scared etc? maybe something bad happened, or to the wens/wwx, or someone claims a-yuan is theirs, along those lines.

B) same thing but a-yuan is scared of losing lwj instead?

thank you for your work!

~*~

11. Itmf: (long fics only please)

A) lwj looooves carrying wwx in his arms. Doesn't matter whoever sees. It's his love y'all.

B) idol wwx or actor wwx or wangxian in showbiz

11B)

life, drama and action by Akai__hana (G, 13k, WangXian, XuanLi, singer!lwj, actor!wwx, Social Media AU, Fluff and Humor, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack)

Some of You by tangerinechar (M, 60k, WangXian, Modern AU, Social Media, Actor AU, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Love Confessions, Matchmaking, Light Angst)

The Fault in Our Stars by Vamillepudding (T, 17k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Romantic Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Misunderstandings, the title makes it sound like a cancer story, it’s not a cancer story)

Ornaments Under the Stars by trippednfell (M, 62k, wangxian, Modern, Inspired by Hallmark Christmas Movies, the wangxian Hallmark Movie AU no one asked for, plot and title were randomly generated, Kidfic, Disabled Character, debilitating injury as substitute for missing golden core, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note, Angst with a Happy Ending, Guest starring Lan Zhan’s sky blue coat, The Coat deserves its own tag, disordered eating habits - not a major plot point, WIP)

All My Songs I Wrote to Find You by Winxhelina (T, 8k, WangXian, Social Media, Bullying, Immortal LWJ & WWX, Scheming NHS, Musicians, Explicit Language, Kissing, Making Out)

~*~

12. Can i ask for a recommendation for Time Travel like the Four Juniors (Lan Shizui, Jin Ling, Lan Jinyi and Ozouyang) (i'm so sorry if i spell there names wrong) went to the past and met there parents

Or the past went to the future

Time, Time, Time by skeletonofaplant (G, 44k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, LSZ & WWX, JYL & JL & JZX, LJY & LSZ, Time Travel Fix-It, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Angst, Fluff, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Time Travelling Junior Ensemble, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Humor)

Time Travel, Obviously by nirejseki (Not Rated, 1k, Time Travel, Crack)

❤️ Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)

~*~

13. Hey guys! Any fanfic recommendations with Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji fighting and arguing, but with a happy ending? Especially if they are in an established relationship @livesformitski

KILF (Knits I'd Like To Fuck in) by ScarlettStorm (E, 168k, wangxian, modern, sex work, fiber arts, 2nd in series) this one has a substantial Wangxian fight that ends well

~*~

14. Hi!!! I have something for the next ITMF.

I'm feeling kinda angsty today, so are there any fics where Lan Zhan sacrifices himself for Wei Ying's happiness?

It could be any kind of sacrificial method and Wei Ying doesn't know of Lan Zhan's sacrifice until it's too late. Wei Ying could try getting him back through any means (time travel, necromancy, etc) except for sacrificing himself :D

Thank you and keep up the good work!

~*~

15. Hello! If you accept nsfw asks, I am looking for WangXian fics where dragonJi has *ahem* dragonly endowments downstairs. The classic antlers and tail is good too, but I am particularly looking for lemons where non-human anatomy comes into play. There is a bit of this in Paths Of Light And Darkness Converge, if anyone wants an example. Thank you! 🐉

🔒 dragons white to ride by RoseThorne (E, <1k, WangXian, Dragon LWJ, LWJ Has Two Penises, Multiple Orgasms, Implied Future Mpreg, First Time, Wedding Night, POV Third Person, POV WWX, Overstimulation, Podfic Welcome, Crack Treated Seriously)

~*~

16. For ITMF, I'm wondering if there are fics out there where LWJ & WWX can wield each others' swords. I've read something where WWX can use Bichen due to a partial core transplant from LWJ, but I'm interested in anything where the swords recognise their owner's soulmate? @thispatternismine

Lost and Found by dea_liberty (M, 36k, WangXian, JC & WWX, SL/XXC, Post-Canon, Found Families, a lot of feelings, Epilogue, Marriage, so many feelings, Some angst, Canon-Compliant, Brotherly Love, angst with happy ending, Much-needed reconciliations, outsider pov, Fix-It, WWX has some PTSD to deal with, Minor Violence) it's not the focus but it comes up in the first part of "Lost and Found" and is revisited near the end of the fifth part (LWJ can unsheathe and wield Suibian)

~*~

17. Hi, I have a request for itmf. Is there any wangxian fic where

a) Lan Zhan likes to take care of Wei Ying or in the simple thing,he has caretaking kink(is this the right word?) . Like The Second Jade of Lan's late but incendiary sexual awakening by KizuKatana

b) Any fic like A matter of time by mrcformoso. Where Lan Zhan keep wei ying for himself and wei ying like it. Or a time travel where lan zhan just, "you're mine" Or the friendship between Lan Zhan and Nie Huaisang to protect Wei Ying. Or anything that the 3 of them have dark personality(yandere)

Thank you for all your hardwork. Love you guys😘 @chibiizzy

17A)

The Dragon's Bride by jaws_3 (T, 34k, WangXian, Beauty and the Beast Fusion, Arranged Marriage elements, Slow Burn, sometimes ya get sent off to atone for ur villages misgivings and u just gotta deal, Dragon LWJ, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending, Spanish Translation Available)

Continuation by thefaceofno (T, 14k, WangXian, Canon Continuation, WWX builds a lotus pond in cloud recesses, Hair Brushing, Light Angst with a Happy Ending, Pining, gay disaster LWJ, Post-Canon Fix-It)

🔒 The Promises We Make by Mayarenerose (G, 34k, WangXian, LSZ & LWJ, LXC & LWJ, LWJ & WN, LWJ & JC, Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Fluff, Angst, Everybody Lives, Canon Divergence, Gratuitous Bed Sharing, LWJ: moves into the Burial Mounds, WWX: ??? wtf??? are you??? doing??, Rabbits, there are so many rabbits in this fic guys i cant even)

💙 this river runs to you by sundiscus (T, 53k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mutual Pining, Dragons, Literal Sleeping Together, Tender wound tending)

❤️ the best of you by sysrae (E, 41k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, slightly undernegotiated kink, but in a very soft and consensual way, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, JFM and Madam Yu's A+ parenting, Dysfunctional Family, Mental Health Issues therapy is good actually, the most tender of railings, Reference to animal attacks/animal cruelty, descriptions of past violence)

Falling to the Rhythm by Selenay (E, 128k, WangXian, Modern: No Powers, Dance, Strictly Come Dancing Fusion, Ballroom Dancing, Dancer!WWX, Violinist LWJ, Pining While Dancing, Oblivious WWX, Gratuitous Costume Descriptions, Gratuitous dancing descriptions, Slow Burn, [Podfic] Falling to the Rhythm by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona))

Work-Life Balance is Not A Thing by catbrainedschemes (E, 17k, WangXian, Modern AU, Workplace Relationship, Romantic Comedy, Idiots in Love, Oblivious WWX, Oblivious LWJ, Sexual Tension, Eventual Smut, but not that eventual, Pining, Dirty Talk)

17B)

Like stones on an unseen board by Vir_Abelasan (Not rated, 11k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Dark LWJ, Older LWJ, Teacher LWJ, dark twin jades, Age Difference, Manipulation, Protective LWJ, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Corporal Punishment, Relatively canon-typical abusive Jiangs, WWX Get a Happy Ending, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Not Jiang Clan Friendly)

🔒 At heart by apathyinreverie (M, 36k, WangXian, WIP, Dark LWJ(Ish), Amnesia, WWX gets to be Not Okay after the BM, Hurt WWX, Recovery, Caring, Protective LWJ, Possessive LWJ, some definite manipulation, but not everything is as it seems, not nearly as dark as the tags make it sound, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Revea, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, kind of, Domestic WangXian, Fluff, WWX Goes to Gusu, Possessive WWX, WWX happily atticwifing away, Sunshot Campaign, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ)

~*~

18. Hi so I tried to find any fic that has this idea myself but I couldn't find any so I am here to ask this oh great finder to find me a fic that has wei ying dual wielding like he wheels two swords maybe one of them is Suibian and the other is like one of his parents blade or something I just want a fic that has him dual wielding it will be so cool

Take My Hand, Hold Me Tight by ThyNameIsAeschylus30 (M, 58k, WIP, HanXian, One-sided WangXian, Canon Divergence, Transmigration into MDZS, But WWX from his world transmigration to cannon WWX's world, BAMF WWX, Immortal WWX, Healer!WWX, Age Difference, Donghua WRH, Pining WWX, Minor WWX/OMC, Past Relationship(s), YZY Bashing, Bad Parents JFM and YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Unrequited love for LWJ, Potentially OOC!WWX and others, JFM isn't getting bashed he's being gaslighted by WWX, Accidental Baby Acquisition) It's a WWX/WRH fanfic where WWX an immortal healer from another realm transmigrated because this version of him died. He uses both his old and his current sword if I remember correctly

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[simpcityy]

First off, love your stories. Second, can I request a Miguel O'Hara x daughter! Child!reader (maybe 4 or 5 or whatever age you want it to be) gets adopted by him and he notices how extremely shy she is from the trauma she has. Like one day he took her to HQ for the first time to make her open up more and Hobie or Peter B (anyone really) scared the hell out of her and she was crying loudly and they tried to make her smile and Miguel just slaps one of them and it makes you laugh (have you seen ice age? The scene where Manny and Diego hit him and the baby just laughs? That's what I'm thinking that happens. The video is linked just in case)

First off, I would like to apologize for how long this took to complete, I swear I didn't forget! The cons of being a young adult in this world but finally! I was able to write this wonderful idea of yours into a short one-shot. Yes! Ice Age was my childhood movie and that particularly scene was my all-time favorite.

Word Count: 744 Warnings: Trauma, adopted child, Ben being smacked...ughh that's all

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Being a hero came with pros and cons. Miguel, who is currently Spider-Man 2099 was facing with a problem, you. A small 5-year-old child. Your parents were gone thanks to a villain who was after you. Sitting on the rooftop, Miguel held you as you slept in his arms after the intense crying of seeing your parents gone. Thinking carefully what he was going to do. "What will it be Miguel?" Lyla appears in front of him, glancing at the small child. The man only grunted, " If I were to drop them off at the orphanage, most likely they will get them...I have no choice but to adopt her." He gets up holding you close as he swings off the roof.

It's been weeks now, close to 3 months. Lyla was having blast teasing Miguel seeing how protective he was over you. A small call from the daycare and he was out to pick you up right away. Miguel grumbles as he waited in line at the daycare with you clinging to his leg as many mothers were whispering how adorable you were and how hot Miguel looked being a protective and active father. He watched a young boy of your age walk over to you. He raised an eyebrow when you rejected the offer of wanting to play outside in the playground with him." ¿Qué pasa, cariño?" He kneels down to your height rubbing your cheek as you cling to him more, to the point he's back up carrying you in his arms. The sight of Miguel carrying you made many of the parents' awe. "Mr.O'Hara?" Your daycare teacher calls out the next person on the list. " Now, go out to play with your friends?" He smiles before it slowly fades as you only shake your head no and cling to him. Leaving him no choice but to hold you in his arms throughout the meeting.

During the meeting, Miguel nods as your daycare teacher express her concerns. " I know (Y/N) was adopted by you Mr. O'Hara but...is there any sort of trauma that prevents them from having a social life? They are too shy, to the point they even refuse to play with their peers, and I fear this can prevent them from building a social life." The woman explained as Miguel nodded, paying attention. He knew she was right; you were too shy around strangers and whenever he took you to the park, you would beg to go home right away and watch movies with him instead. He was mad at himself for not seeing those struggles and odd behavior right away. Mad at himself for sheltering you from the cruel world when he should've been exposing it you slowly so you can fight you way around it. As it was told by all dimensional Spider-Mans, being a Hero has many pros and cons, mostly cons.

After the meeting, Miguel held your hand as you both walk home " (Y/N), don't you like making friends?" He looks down at you as you ponder his question. "No..." You whisper holding his hand tightly. "por qué?" He picks you up in his arms walking home faster. "It's hard" was your only answer that lingered in Miguel's mind. As nighttime came, Lyla appears on Miguel's shoulder seeing him look up programs to help children with trauma. "Are you really considering that?" The AI asked before Miguel shook his head "No, I'm just seeing what the programs are based so I can do something similar with them at home." He mutters as he kept reading and reading till Lyla's idea turned the light bulb in his mind.

"Why no bring them to HQ and meet Mayday, maybe they feel less shy around someone who's younger than them" The AI shrugged.

The next morning, that's what Miguel did. You looked around both in awe and fear seeing so many people in this big place. "¿Te gusta?" He whispers to you, holding your small hand into his larger ones. You only shrugged feeling mixed emotions. Upon arriving at his office, he hands you a couple of papers and crayons. " I'll be up there working, soon, I want you to meet someone okay. ¿Puedes hacer eso por mí, cariño?" He smiles petting your head. Once the words meeting someone has gotten you on edge but slowly nodded, knowing this meant a lot to your adopted father. "Okay" You whisper and began to color waiting for the suppose someone you were meeting.

After a while you were busy drawing a picture of you and Miguel before seeing small hand grabbing your crayons. Looking up, you saw a small baby. Slowly, sitting up on your knees, you kept coloring. Miguel watched carefully with Peter. "Relax, they will click soon alright Miguel, and here I thought I was the overprotective father." Peter smiles before sighing seeing Miguel wasn't even listening to him as he was busy watching the interaction between you and Mayday. After a while, Miguel smiles a bit seeing you help Mayday color and stopping her whenever she tries to put the crayon in her mouth. Peter kept quiet watching Miguel, enjoying the small smile before it could fade. Both fathers watched afar their children enjoying their company until Ben walked in.

"Woah! Is this Mini Miguel?!" Ben walks over and picked you up from the back of your shirt taking a good look at you. Miguel and Peter stood stiff seeing your tears forming. You looked at the masked man and all hell broke loose. Ben panicked as you wailed reaching for miguel. "papá!" You cried as Miguel jumps down his platform with a frown. " ¡Idiota! Everything was going well until you came!" He yells and grabs you, holding you close. Trying to calm you down but so far nothing was working. He sighs and curses at Ben. Meanwhile Ben apologizes over and over, "Look, I am so sorry, I didn't know they were going to get scared!" He looks at Miguel before being smacked behind his head "OW!"

Miguel felt somewhat satisfied after smacking Ben before hearing your small giggle. He stops and looks down at you, seeing a small smile covering your mouth. He slowly smacks Ben again causing you to giggle out again. "Oh, let me try!" Peter walks over holding Mayday and smacks Ben behind the head. "Ow!" Ben yells as both you and Mayday giggle. "This is really a stress relief." Peter admits waiting for his turn as Miguel smacked Ben again. Ben held in the pain as his punishment for scaring you. "Anything for Mini Miguel!" He says acting like a tough guy as both fathers took turns, the room filled with giggles from you and Mayday. Lyla recording the whole thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spanish Translation: 1. Qué pasa, cariño - What's wrong, Sweetie? 2. por qué- Why? 3.Te gusta - Do you like it? 4. Puedes hacer eso por mí, cariño - Can you do that for me, Sweeite? 5. ¡Idiota - Idiot

[borninwinter81]

I've been rediscovering my love for Clive Barker this week due to finally managing to see The Ultimate Cabal Cut of Nightbreed (some kind soul has uploaded it to YouTube) and then re-reading Cabal, the book it was based on.

Cabal is amongst my favourite books ever written (though as a bibliophile that list is extremely long!) and one of my favourite movies. I originally saw it in the early 90s when I was probably far too young, and read the book not long after.

I backed the Occupy Midian campaign in 2012 when the lost footage was being searched for and reintegrated into the movie, and I attended a screening of one of the early edits where I met Nicholas Vince and Simon Bamford (Kinski and Ohnaka in Nightbreed, but better known as two of the Cenobites from Hellraiser). This led to the eventual DVD/Blu-ray release of The Directors Cut (which I got a physical copy of) and then The Ultimate Cabal Cut (which I didn’t, and which I haven't seen until now).

It's an oversimplification to call Barker's work horror, especially in Cabal/Nightbreed - this was the mistake the production company made when originally editing and marketing it.

Clive Barker's vision shows us the beauty of the weird, the macabre, the abnormal, and the supernatural, and the true horror in his work comes from the "normal".

In Cabal/Nightbreed his monsters are not evil, they're simply different - undead, mutants and supernatural beings, a metaphor for anyone who has ever felt othered by society. Midian is a place where they can live safely with no fear or judgement. The evil characters are "naturals", humans who hate and fear the monsters for being different even though they pose no threat, and ultimately try to destroy them.

As a member of the LGBT community it's easy to see where Barker's motivation for this metaphor came from, but it could equally apply to just about anyone who feels like they don't fit in. Certainly as a lonely, bullied, weird child when I first read/saw it, who then grew up into a reasonably weird adult, I'd love for the monsters to come and take me away to Midian.

Anyone seeing this who isn't familiar with the book/movie, I'd urge you to look them up, as well as others by Barker. More of my favourites by him are Imajica, Abarat and of course The Hellbound Heart, filmed as Hellraiser. The Forbidden from short story anthology The Books of Blood was also filmed as Candyman.

Below I've linked The Cabal Cut of Nightbreed. Even if you know and love the original theatrical release I'd still urge you to watch this (quick as you can in case its removed due to copyright!).

In addition to doubling the movie length from 1 hour 40 mins to 3 hours 20 mins, a number of the actors voices have been re-recorded as they were overdubbed in the theatrical version for some reason, notably those of Rachel, and Lylesberg, played by Doug Bradley. It was a crime to remove that man's beautiful voice and wonderful to hear it back where its meant to be.

Also, rather than being a standard horror movie heroine who seems to be there only to scream and be rescued, in this version Lori comes across as much stronger and more well-rounded character.

As it says in the opening text, although much of the footage was of good quality there are some sections where all they had available were degraded VHS tapes, some of which were without audio. This means the editing is also a little clunky in places. However the makers of this version wanted to include everything they possibly could in order to bring it in line with the original shooting script and Clive Barker's epic vision for the piece.

[yen-sids-tournament]

Animated 9: Cinderella III: A Twist In Time v Return To Never Land

Cinderella III {original-Cinderella (1950)}

It is in the words of Seamus Gorman 'A Masterpiece'. In his series reviewing the Disney Sequels it was considered the benchmark to measure all other Disney Sequels by. I don't remember which sequel got the damning 'It was good but it was no Cinderella III: A Twist in Time.' This movie has it all: time travel, characters with 3d personalities, that one iconic meme where the king says 'I forbid you to take another step' and the prince jumps out the window. Its so silly, its so fun, it is a masterpiece. Link to the Seamus Review:

~Anastasia redemption arc and character development ~The cat, lucifer, gets more screen time ~The king has a backstory

Time travel, and the prince. "But the talking mice say she's the wrong girl" " I forbid you to take another step down these stairs!" "Ok!*jumps out the window*"

Return to Never Land {originial-Peter Pan (1953)} *spoilers?*

It follows Wendy's canonical daughter Jane, in every version of the story where Peter returns to the Darling's window, he meets Jane, and this story gives her her own adventure. with Wendy as a turn of the century child, it isn't too much of a stretch to assume Jane would be growing up in the middle of a deeply contentious time in British History, that being the London bombings of World War 2, and Unlike Wendy, whom needed to understand that she didn't WANT to never grow up and embrace her coming maturity as it arrives, Jane had been thrown into a position in her family where she had needed to grow up too fast, and in her trip to Neverland understand the importance of that child-like wonder she had nearly lost.As such, she starts out deeply skeptical and frustrated by the nonsensical nature of Neverland, and being more trusting of adults than of children whose attempts of 'playing with her' were little more than bullying with the thin veneer of 'just a game', which ultimately allows her to be manipulated by Hook. But even then manages to grow attached to the lost boys and connect with Peter and due to her inability to fly for most of the movie had almost fully integrated into the world of Neverland and became the first Lost Girl by the time of the third act.While it's held back by the painfully early 00's music it's ultimately a very compelling story about a child in a deeply traumatizing situation finding temporary haven in a place untouched by the war that had so deeply distorted her worldview and ultimately reclaiming her right to have a childhood after constant danger of death and destruction had nearly wrenched it from her entirely.(also there's no racist Native American stereotypes that exist just for the sake of themselves and could have easily been some sort of fantasy species but nahhh it was the 50s so native americans were SUPER okay to be racist about/s)

[greenleopard49]

Orange Side's motives

Orange is on the war path against those who have wronged him. The song "Hell To Your Doorstep"-Thomas Borchert exemplifies what we have in store in the upcoming Sander Sides season finale. In the song, it describes the character Dante, overcome with rage, vows a terrible revenge on all his conspirators who wrongfully imprisoned him, including Mercédès, for she has betrayed him by stepping into a marriage with another man and having a child together. I believe Orange side will also take this route of revenge on those who are against him.

Who is Orange going to enact his vengeance on?

Janus

Nico

Patton

Roman/Remus

Janus

Let's start with Janus. Why would Orange want to enact revenge on him? Well who would want to be friends with their warden? You might be wondering, "You mean Janus is imprisoning Orange? Where are you getting this from?" Well PickYourPoison on their YouTube channel made a great theory video linking Janus's connection to the Orange side through his Christmas sweater.

Please go and give them a like and subscribe.

In summary, each side's Christmas sweater corresponds with a Christmas movie or Christmas theme. Patton's sweater is modeled after a gingerbread cookie, Logan's sweater is modeled after the movie "The Polar Express", Virgil's sweater is modeled after the story of "Rudolf the Red nosed Reindeer" and Roman and Remus's sweaters are modeled after the play "The Nutcracker". However, Janus's sweater is modeled after the 9 circles in Hell based on the book "Dante's Inferno". Where the sweater connects to both Janus and Orange is in the center of the sweater where a stripe contains a yellow eye. According to the video the stripe represents the 5th circle of Hell known as Wrath and Janus is keeping a watchful eye on it to make sure whatever is in there stays at bay. This is further supported by the frosted chains on the sweaters sleeves.

Janus's function is to not disclose things to c!Thomas that he doesn't want to know. However, since throughout the series c!Thomas made it his goal to learn more about himself. At first from Janus's perspective, he didn't take c! Thomas seriously about learning more about himself. Then Virgil got accepted by c!Thomas and light sides and that got Janus scrambling to get things in order so that he and the other sides will be prepared for Orange when he is eventually freed.

Nico

Now what could be the catalyst into freeing Orange side from their prison? Nico, more specifically how c!Thomas perceives his relationship with Nico. As, stated before the goal of the Sanders Sides series is for c!Thomas to learn more about himself. However, what sparks him towards this journey of introspection? His breakup with his previous boyfriend. We don't know much about what caused the breakup but from what we got from the episode "Moving On, Part 2/2 " that c! Thomas's boyfriend was not happy in their relationship and c! Thomas loved him so much that he wouldn't want to put his ex back into a situation like that again.

Sanders_Sides_Breakup_Scene

Before meeting Nico c!Thomas was getting over a breakup, trying to process whether or not he is a good person, questioning his sexuality(the Valerie thing during the Valentine's Day episode... that was an odd one ngl), navigating adulting,confronting the darker sides of himself, worrying whether or not he is on the right career path pursuing YouTube full-time, losing a callback that could have been his huge break just to go to a friend's wedding and is worrying about the prospect that he might be alone for the rest of his life. Now c!Thomas is rushing into another relationship without understanding why the previous relationship didn't work. And what's worse, I don't even think that c!Thomas even likes Nico as a person but as something to hold him over while he tries to gain some control over his own life.

Since the introduction of Nico we only know cursory things about him. Mainly what we have seen from his stickers and pins, that he is a music writer and that he likes art shows. Heck, what is the icon that c!Thomas associates Nico with in his contacts and wrapping for Nico's gift?A carrot.

Yes, it is a cute nod to how they first met but also Thomas hates carrots. This isn't even speculation, we constantly get mixed signals from Patton about Nico on not knowing him and c!Thomas getting a trendy gift for Nico after not getting him anything for Christmas is suspicious. Whatever happened to break the relationship between c!Thomas and his ex may befall his relationship with Nico as well.

Patton's_mixed_feelings_on_Nico

Patton's_gift_to_Remus

Nico's_forgotten_Christmas_Gift

Patton

Speaking of Patton,why would Orange side want to enact revenge against him? Well I believe Patton maybe one of two sides responsible for Orange Sides imprisonment in the first place. Patton encompasses c!Thomas's morals that he was taught by his parents and encompasses most of c! Thomas feelings. Throughout the series Patton has been increasingly seen as being too controlling over c!Thomas's morality, leading to the reveal of Remus and making c!Thomas feel like he is a bad person for not sacrificing his free time to help others in need. This has caused a rift in Patton's relationship with Virgil. Patton tried to change by softening his approach on how he discusses moral issues but as we've seen in Putting Others First Redux that only disguised his intentions. After this episode's events where Janus gets accepted by c!Thomas and Patton, Roman who used to view Patton as a moral authority on issues no longer respects him. Now, Patton seems to afraid to voice his opinions anymore or else he'll be picked on by the other sides. He seems now to hangout more with Janus according to the music video episode "in Into The Unknown". However, Janus rarely tells him anything.

Patton_visits_Janus

Did Patton sentence Orange to be imprisoned or was his overbearing morals the reason why Orange had stayed imprisoned for so long? Either way, I would be enraged at a justice system that would lock me up and throw away the key.If Patton is the judge that sentenced Orange to prison, Janus is the warden keeping Orange prisoner, and Nico/c! Thomas's ex are the victims, then who was the cop that arrested him?

Roman and Remus

I suspect the culprit or should I say culprits are Roman and Remus. More specifically the being who was Creativity before Roman and Remus split. Why do I say this? Well let's look at the evidence.Roman is c!Thomas's creativity that revolves around his passions. Roman usually tries to portray himself as a hero guiding c!Thomas to achieve his hopes and dreams at the cost of c!Thomas's health.

Roman_wanting_Thomas_to_focus_on_desires

Roman's_dream_of_leaving_a_legacy

Roman is also the only side who is depicted fighting monsters. Such as the Dragon Witch and the manticore-chimera.

Roman's fear is being rejected and suffers from self-esteem issues.Virgil's Anxiety is the reason that gets c!Thomas out of bed in the morning and not seeking his hopes and dreams.

Anxiety_pressures_Thomas_to_get_out_of_bed

Roman fears his work being harshly criticized by Logan for not being good enough, professional enough, serious enough.

Roman_fear_being_criticized_by_Logan

Roman feels guilty that it's his fault that c!Thomas's desires are more important than doing good for others.

Roman's_guilt_that_his_desires_are_getting_in_the_way

c!Thomas assures Roman that he needs him but he doesn't know what feeling could motivate him into doing good.

If Roman is going through all of these existential issues, what issues did the Original Creativity have? Now for Remus, he is the side that represents Instrusive Thoughts. While he may provide random negative thoughts, it is up to c!Thomas on whether he will act on them or not.

Remus also seems to amplify c!Thomas's negative thoughts. For example, jumping to conclusions about being rejected by Nico.

Notice in this scene, that this is the only time Remus acted through fake Nico. Therefore, there is a high likelihood that Remus was told this before. I speculate that it was probably Roman who told him that after the feral cat incident.

So where am I going with this? Original Creativity carries both Roman's insecurities and Remus's amplification of negative thinking. There was a conflict between him and Orange side due to differing ideals. During the quarrel he thought of a terrible idea to win the fight and severely injured Orange side and caused Orange's imprisonment. Orange's views didn't sit well with Original Creativity. These conflicting viewpoints caused him to split into Roman and Remus.

Orange Side's Crime and What he Represents

We went through who wronged Orange side, now we need to know what crime did Orange commit and if he committed a crime at all? I suspect that Orange was trying to "unify" the sides under him instead c!Thomas. Orange represents hatred, more specifically retributive hatred which refers to hatred in response to wrongdoing, driven by a moral notion of desert.  His reasoning is there is a principle of nature known as the Survival of the Fittest. The animal that wins has got to fight for it or else the animal will be taken advantage of by someone else. c!Thomas is that animal who is trying to survive, he is struggling and fighting to keep himself afloat. So Orange believes that he must become the side that c!Thomas must rely on the most for him to survive in this world. He values c!Thomas's self-worth but believes c!Thomas's indecisiveness makes him too weak too be behind the wheel of decision making. With Orange behind the wheel, he would ruthlessly crush anyone who gets in his way of achieving his goal of trying have c!Thomas achieve success in life. This idea is coming from the lyrics from the cut song "Biggering".

Orange Side's Influence on c!Thomas and his Personality

The influence of Orange has been prevalent throughout the series especially in the episode "Are There Healthy Distractions". In the episode c!Thomas is contemplating his friendship with Rico due to Rico informing him that he used to not support gay rights. That caused c!Thomas to angrily interrogate Rico and then returned to his apartment to roomenat on what happened.

Then Virgil brings up this:

"You only see things from your perspective and your perspective is your eyeballs looking out, away from you. And that makes it a lot harder to see your own flaws or where you went wrong."

Virgil later elaborates c!Thomas's behavior at the party:

"When Ricko brought up that he used to not support gay rights, maybe you shouldn’t have immediately started angrily interrogating him. Because he used the past-tense and he trusted you enough to share a history that he was not proud of with you.

And sure, he wouldn’t have gotten around to some of the stuff you wanted to know about on his own, but things might have gone smoother if you just calmly asked later. And, even though you had a right to feel angry, maybe you shouldn’t have taken your anger out on him because he’s right, he is a different person now.

And attacking a person for opinions that they don’t have doesn’t really do anybody any good. And even though he was kinda snobby when he told you that “your behavior is unacceptable”, you still shouldn’t have fired back, “oh yeah, like me kissing a man is unacceptable?” because again, he doesn’t feel that way anymore.

And he’s always been supportive and comfortable around you and your boyfriends and now maybe we ruined a good friendship ‘cuz we couldn’t see past his past and we put the final nail in the coffin by skipping out on the party!"

From this alone we have a good read on Orange side's personality. Orange can be vengeful. A vengeful personality is characterized by a desire to seek revenge or an unwillingness to forgive. He has an inability to manage negative emotions, especially anger. Orange seems to be unable to see his own wrongdoings even though his feelings of anger may be justified. Orange seems motivated by power, this is shown when c!Thomas started angrily interrogating Rico and attacking him for opinions that he doesn't have. Orange is willing to incur greater personal costs to get his revenge. This is shown with c!Thomas in a moment of anger was willing to risk losing his friendship with Rico just so that he could attack Rico for opinions he no longer holds. Even with Orange imprisoned, his presence is strong.

Orange Side and Logan

Finally, if Logan's logic is suppose to oppose Orange side's hatred, what relationship will Orange have with Logan? I suspect that Logan used to be apart of Orange. Not in an identical twin sense like Roman and Remus, but more like an Orange fruit missing a segment of itself. Logan used to be apart of Orange, his scene of reason, planning and foresight. To put in biological terms Logan was Orange's prefrontal cortex. When Orange was whole, he represented c!Thomas's sense of Truth about himself and the world and he worked along side Original Creativity who represented c!Thomas's Ideals for himself and the world. As c!Thomas grew Whole Orange noticed more and more that c!Thomas will need to acquire as much knowledge as possible so that c!Thomas can be successful and not be taken advantage of. However, his thirst for knowledge led him to be arrogant and controlling to a point where he tried to convince the other sides to work under him so that they can make c!Thomas a more productive and punctual version of himself.

However, it went poorly, much like how it went when Logan suggested that c!Thomas should get a real job and that he should be taken seriously. After Logan wanted to change c!Thomas's life around, Virgil says that "What you just suggested would be a massive change in Thomas's life. So, I kinda hate you right now and shut your dirty mouth."

So Whole Orange tried to take over control of c!Thomas by force.During the fight Whole Orange gets serverly injured to a point that a piece of him was severed from him. Then Orange was casted in c!Thomas's subconscious below. The piece that was severed from Orange was given new form and became the side we know today as Logan. Stricken with conflicting ideas Original Creativity soon split into two sides Roman and Remus. Roman upheld the morality that led to Orange's imprisonment while Remus abjectly rejects it to the point that he embodies an aspect of creativity that cannot be imprisoned or tamed. Intrusive Thoughts.

So, what will happen when Logan meets Orange side? I believe that Orange will try to convince Logan to become Whole with him again. Their combined power will allow Logan's wishes to be heeded and to be taken as a serious threat.

This has been foreshadowed in the episode "Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts" through the cover song "We Could Fly" - Sam Sparro, in the lyrics "Stop trying to rule the world" .

As for Orange, he will be able to grow in power, regain control over his negative emotions by using Logan's logic,work towards his goals of gaining control of c!Thomas and exacting revenge on those who have wronged him.

Logan, I am your Father

Yes, I know I pulled a "Luke, I am your Father" trope but the dialog just works so well here.

Orange- Logan, you have only begun to discover your power. Join me and I will complete your training. With our combined strength we can end this convoluted loop of self-destruction and bring order to c!Thomas.

Logan-In what scenario would I ever join you?

Orange-If you only know how powerful the motivation of vengence is. Nobody ever told you when your birthday was?

Logan- The closest approximation of my birthday is c!Thomas's birthday. It's impossible to determine when c!Thomas developed the qualities that came together to form me.

Orange-No Logan, your qualities originated from me. For you were once apart of me. I am your Father!

Logan-That's not true, that's impossible.

Orange-Search your feelings. The times you displayed your wrath towards others. You know it to be true!

Logan-No!

Orange- Logan, we can overthrow c!Thomas. I have foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me Logan and together we can control c!Thomas's future as Father and Son!

I think I'm going to end it here. Sorry for the long essay. This has been on my mind for a while and I wanted to get this off my chest.

[hanasnx]

I don’t really read smut anymore if I can help it unless it’s part of a story, not the point of a story, especially when it’s about Hayden Christensen the person, not one of his characters.

You see, I think he does look at stuff about him. Especially when he was researching everything he could find about Star Wars. He stated how he found interviews and fan art. I find it very hard to believe he didn’t read a fic or two about his character. There’s some amazing content, and as cringey as this site can be, I think it’s the perfect type of social media for him.

Tumblr is a place that you can geek out over your interests and say things, you cannot responsibly express in the adult world. It’s a place you can be proud that hundreds or even thousands of people, love your epic 100k plus word FanFiction you spend most of your free time on, without having to admit you prefer writing, over going to some smelly club.

I also really appreciate how little anybody’s opinion on here, actually matters in the big picture. You and some of your mutuals are guilty of this, but I just attribute it to your age. Nothing can effect you on here, so do what you please and no one is the wiser.

Except, when I think of Hayden Christensen on here looking at stuff, I can’t help but wonder how a self proclaimed shy introvert, might feel reading about things with his actual name. He might get sick to his stomach reading about himself fictionally making a controversially young fan, bleed from his rough sexual treatment. Even if she’s into it. I think because of how introverted and private he is, and the fact everyone in Hollywood thinks he’s a bit odd, add to that the things Rachel says about her past sex life, without naming him, but giving her age so everyone knows who it must have been, have effected him negatively.

When he was younger, several costars pre-Rachel stated how serious and confident he was. Even Rachel said how she admired how sure of himself he was. He was photographed at many social events, celebrating birthdays, going to the playboy mansion, hosting parties in Vegas nightclubs, racing his cars, going to F1, and Cannes, and even the MET Gala. He dated Reena Hammer, who was practically the British Paris Hilton of socialites. He’s also a world renowned model. His interviews when he was earlier in his career, he was playful and almost arrogant in some, very flirty.

At first I thought his aversion to people came from the Star Wars toxic fandom hate he received for the prequels but if you look at when some interviews and interactions with people occurred, they were at or after, peak hate era.

There’s one in Cannes where he shooshes the media and gives them a dirty look while up on the podium. Another time he’s at an award show getting heckled and fired right back at them. There’s that interview where he says he wanted to be in Star Wars ever since he was a baby, that oozes confidence.

Then he got traumatized by a combo of fellow celebs, fans being hateful or saying nothing matters but his looks, and the loss of his anonymity. He has stated how cringe it was to see his face on everything from chips, to cereal, to chicken noodle soup, magazines about him, more often than not, without his permission.

I don’t want to villianize Rachel Bilson, because I think she is just an empty headed, cute little nepo brat, that should be taken about as seriously as the movie Virgin Territory. She was in a wreck, in her teens and got a head injury so she has a hard time with long term memory. How it would be dating someone that forgets everything with time, cannot be great for your self esteem. Add to that her talking about how paranoid and depressed he gets, and publicly stated he has severe anxiety can’t help his anxiety. Then to mail that coffin shut, she spreads rumors he cheated with someone as embarrassing as Emma Roberts, said he never could make her cum, said her break up with Bill Hader was more difficult than child birth, has been linked to a bunch of men that she says she now has no issues orgasming with partners, and she constantly brings him up on her podcast that I think 75% of her listeners, listen in hopes she’ll say something about Hayden.

Living with social anxiety, brought on by trauma and over exposure, seems like it’d be something close to torture, never knowing what she will reveal about you next. Also how she talks about Briar all the time, even going so far as taking calls from her school, on the air has to make him feel very helpless.

I do appreciate one of your recent answers about how he doesn’t even know what sexy stuff he might be into, and while I hope he does find someone that makes him feel safe and secure, I think it’s better to stick to his characters. It’s not difficult to just make him AJ, or James, or even Jacob, if you’re sick of using anakin.

We should also be conscious that Briar is reaching the age where she is going to be looking up her parents. It’s just a fact. And as a fan of Hayden, you can’t just not give a shit about Briar. The man seems to love her more than anything, and we love him. Robin Williams suffered from similar mental health issues as Hayden does, and no one knows what pushed him over the edge, but I sure as shit don’t want to contribute to him having a breakdown.

And yes, I wrote a very sexual series about a celeb using their name before I realized how hurtful that had the potential to be. I went back and saved them all before deleting them all on here, and then I edited them all to be one of that celebs characters, and it actually did even better. Maybe one day I’ll share that with you.

I hope you don’t take this as an insult or me judging you at all. I think you are a very skilled writer with an amazing imagination. I enjoy dark fanfiction, and you have the ability to build worlds, and describe emotion that is quite rare. I used to write a lot more, and I always knew that smut equals instant gratification. Smut gets most of the attention, and some of them I wrote have thousands of notes, while the one I worked the hardest on, and am most proud of, has like 30. It’s heart wrenching and makes people cry though, and most don’t like to be emotionally wrecked by a fic.

You don’t have to post this if you don’t want to, but of course it’s yours now. I need to be anonymous with this because my main blog is very wholesome and pure, while my fanfiction writing is on a sub account I guess you’d call it off my main, and so is my Hayden fan account. We have interacted somewhat through posts you’ve liked and commented on.

well it’s a good thing that i don’t tag any of this with just his name and instead tag it with “hayden christensen smut” and “hayden christensen x reader” so that people don’t just come across it who are looking him up. you can filter those tags and my user too or if you’d like to give me your user privately i can block you. i don’t rly know what you were trying to do here because i never opened this discussion up and never planned to

[remidyal]

Bad Ideas of the Day Part 6 - Can't Stop Won't Stop

The monthly-ish roundup of bad ideas of the day! If you haven't seen these, I often put a bad idea of the day into the ideas channel in the fic discord; this is a monthly-ish roundup of them. The prior month's is here and then links further and futher back go.

As always, if anyone does something with one of these lemme know, I wanna see! This month's list is a little bit shorter than normal with fifteen prompts; I've been busy with holidays and all.

Bad idea of the day, you are what you eat edition: After the first day of school, Adaine is shocked to find out that an ancient bylaw of the school states that any student who kills a member of staff automatically inherits their position, and so she is in fact now the lunch lady, sworn to somehow provide quasi-edible meals to the students by the fourth bell of the day.

Bad idea of the day, strength in numbers edition: Fig turns up at the start of junior year claiming to now be a mathemagician, someone who wins in battle through the power of math, profoundly annoying Adaine who knows that's not how that works at all right up until the point in their first battle of the year where she yells out a complex equation, then stabs the person in the face while they're trying to work out what the hell she's doing.

Bad idea of the day, important life lessons edition: Worried that they're going to end up malnourished as adults, or at a minimum living on whatever they can pull from an interdimensional city within a magical jacket, Sandra Lynn, Jawbone, and Lydia start trying to teach the various children of Mordred Manor how to cook, mostly directed at Adaine and Aelwyn (who have 0 knowledge or skill in it) but expanding out to showing Kristen the wonders of various non-corn based cuisine, Fig how to use spice in a slightly more restrained way when cooking for others, and also the three of them going to a great deal of effort to learn the magic needed to cook ghost food so they can teach it to Zayn. (Ragh attends but is already a good cook.)

Bad idea of the day, hearts and crafts edition: Learning that it's a tradition among the devils of the hells to bring any romantic interest they might wish to pursue a trophy of their enemy, Fig drags the rest of her friends into a quest to cut out the heart of Ayda's greatest foe, the ancient pirate treasurer in charge of Leviathan's budget.

Bad idea of the day, winter wonderland edition: A fic covering the first snow day in Mordred Manor, up to and including all-out magical snowball fights, one of the ghosts possessing and bringing to life the snowman that gets made, and Ayda feeling kind of left out because she can't really play in the snow without it melting until, Rudolph-like, that becomes very useful when they really need to shovel the driveway but nobody wants to. (remember, kids, it's fine to make fun of someone for their differences unless that difference has a utility to society (???))

Bad idea of the day, It's 3 AM in a werehouse edition: The month after Tracker has a bad full moon and starts chewing on the walls, the denizens of Mordred manor are extremely alarmed to discover in the middle of the next full moon that a) their house is sentient and b) their house is now a werewolf and they need to go.

Bad idea of the day, class swap edition: Fabian Seacaster arrives at Aguefort hoping to turn around his family fortunes after his father was driven penniless out of Leviathan and off the seas, and is lucky enough to quickly find himself in a party that seems destined for finanical greatness. After all, other than the refugee high elf girl, his party consists of the heir to an invention empire, a girl who has been part of the leadership of a megachurch since she was a small child, a princess of Hell, and Riz Gukgak, son of THE Pok and Sklonda Gukgak.

Bad idea of the day, movie magic edition: The Dream Team has to deal with a sudden sequence of threats from movies coming to life, which is particularly not great for New York which now must deal with threats like King Kong, the alien ships from Independence Day, climate change, and an ungodly number of bad sequels like Home Alone 2 or Friday the 13th part 8

Bad idea of the day, hell is other parents edition: A fic that's just a meeting of the Aguefort PTA

Bad idea of the day, true art is petty edition: Driven by a need to out-do Lucienne's alleged fiancée, Margaret devotes herself to becoming a universe-renowned artist and poet, culminating in her spending the entire duration of the battle of the brands painting scenes inspired by the fight while ducking bullets and plinth mental blasts on-camera.

Bad idea of the day, rat race edition: Learning that New York is planning on putting forth a bid for the Olympics that will include plans to 'clean up' the city by further displacing the homeless without actually helping them, Kugrash decides to be the rat in the soup that will blow up the bid during the olympic committee's tour and presentation of the city. Can he be gross enough to derail it, or will New York City end up with a bunch of white elephant buildings and debt for a brief party at the people of New York's expense?

Bad idea of the day, oh now you've done it edition: Freshman year, Adaine speed runs getting kicked out of her house in one of the fastest ways possible: She befriends Zayn and becomes a goth.

Bad idea of the day, it's im-portent edition: Sometime during the time between freshman and sophomore year, Fabian catches on that his party's wizard is using her limited control over the very nature of fate itself to try to make him successfully meet cute with anyone - ANYONE - who isn't her sister.

Bad idea of the day, the easiest way to elevate your fantasy setting is to make something weird happen to the moon edition: Convinced that Galicaea is behind the eldritch monsters suddenly attacking Solace since Cassandra took up residence there, Kristen talks the rest of the Bad Kids into her plan: Get Gorgug's parents to make a Hangrocket so they can go to the moon and blow it up, shattering both the moon itself and Fallinel's faith in Galicaea to reduce her power enough to make the monsters stop.

Bad idea of the day, I'm Getting Fantasy High Ones Out Here While I Can edition: In a fit of paranoia, Riz decides that his friends are in terrible danger of being assassinated by Fallinel/the Helioic church/Hell/Whitclaw's children/Sam Nightingale and that he needs to keep an eye on them at all times, resulting in everyone else getting annoyed by him doing things like hiding in the secret passages of Mordred Manor

[darklinaforever]

You know, I hate when people say that the only redemption for Thomas was death because he was an irredeemable monster and slept with his sister… Like, his redemption was very good in the movie, but do people at least realize that he is talking about a man, once a child who experienced countless abuses from his parents, that his only protection was his older sister, who in fact developed domination over him, and probably influenced him when they were younger to be together on an intimate /sexual level, let's not be afraid of words, probably groom, and to extract from him some kind of inviolable oath implying that they should never separate ? That he was clearly on her side as much because he loved her as he was afraid of her ? The girl has had influence and mental dominance over him since childhood… Are people aware that it's not easy to get rid of such influence even as an adult ? (I mean… Lucille literally sings him a lullaby like a child when she sleeps with him from what I remember…) Do I even need to remind you that Thomas never killed on his own, with his own hands ? Even if he let Lucille do it, it all stems from an influence and dominance that dates back to childhood. Please note, I am not saying that as an adult, Thomas did not make his own choices. I'm simply saying that his choices arise generally from Lucille and the influence she has had over him for so many years. Edith is literally the one who broke the infernal cycle and gave him the courage to finally act against his sister. He was not bad-hearted and devoid of morals. Thomas was actually quite pure in his genre despite the situation he was in. He knew what he was doing was wrong and clearly didn't like doing it. He knew his sister was in trouble, but loved her and was too afraid of her to dare act against her. If he was irredeemable, he would not have found peace in death. A character like Thomas could totally have redemption or he lives in another context (or hypothetically if Edith's friend had used his connections so that Thomas would get away with it in the eyes of justice, perhaps ?). I'm tired of hearing that he absolutely deserved to die.

[Thomas has his eyes mostly open, looking at her, and his smile, when he is intimate with Edith during their love scene. During the scene with Lucille, Thomas has his eyes still closed...]

And be careful, I'm not saying that Lucille didn't suffer in her life either. She suffered from the same problems as Thomas, and probably worse from their parents, since she protected her little brother in addition to suffering. But unlike Thomas, Lucille has become a monster, and truly irremediable. That's why his ghost is black at the end and Thomas's isn't. In the end, the promise between the two is broken. They are separated, and Thomas is free from Lucille, in peace.

I also always see tons of people wondering why Thomas chose Edith, because she wasn't like his and Lucille's previous victims, but the answer is pretty obvious...

Thomas never lied to Edith about his feelings for her in the first place. He loved Edith and that's precisely why he chose her. He was simply selfish in wanting a little happiness / sunshine in his shitty / dark life, perhaps even thinking that he would manage to avoid the same fate as the other wives. Lucille was also very reluctant to agree to take Edith.

I love the whole prediction of their relationship in the love speech Thomas gives to her at the beginning of the film. There is a bond between their hearts, and if it breaks, he will die, and she will eventually forget him. To which Edith replies that she won't, she will never forget him. And that's exactly what happens in the film. Their hearts are linked by a bond, it breaks when Edith learns the truth, Thomas dies, but Edith will never forget him and will end up dying, as she predicted at the beginning of the film, a widow.

Also, I'm tired of people saying that Edith was too pure for Thomas, so it's impossible that she really loved him… People really need to stop with the concept of purity, because It's annoying after a while. It's well known that a pure girl falls in love with a dark man. Also, the film is once again a gothic romance! If you can't stand romances who are dark, don't watch a gothic romance !?

“Don’t underestimate the lord of darkness, even the purest heart will join to it.” - Klaus Mikaelson.

[spyderslut]

You're a degenerate faggot, and people like you are the reason why TERFs hate trans women so much. People like you who claim that incest and child rape are okay and inherently linked to transfemininity, no wonder cisgender lesbians want nothing to do with us. You wanna go live with your little sis puppygirl gf forever??? Well here's a fucking tip: The Pink Opaque is real and you have to kill yourself to get there. I know you're a fucking closet case and not a real girl so why don't you slide your Shein maid dress over your hairy back one final time before you hnag yourself from your doorknob. You are not a real woman and you don't deserve to be, faggots like you deserve to be raped and murdered.

Adults doing play pretend with other adults is fine. If someone wants their partner to spank them, that's fine. If someone wants to be tied up and whipped by their partner, that's fine. If someone wants to be slapped by their partner, that's fine. But all of these things are incredibly problematic! They fetishize child abuse, slavery and spousal abuse! How could someone who isnt a monster be into these things? (its because it isnt real. Its because its adults doing things to other adults. Its because play pretend power dynamics are fun. And its the exact same with things like cnc and fauxcest. People who think those things arent okay better not like it when their partner says "be a good girl for mommy") Did you know that that guy that played a nazi in a ww2 movie wasnt actually a nazi? wild right? Terfs consider any trans woman to be a degenerate that should be killed. They dont make the distinction between the good and the bad. Its all degenerate trannies to them. I also don't own a maid dress, unfortunately. And whenever i try to hang myself i get a massive erection and i feel to awkward about it and just jerk off instead. So no dice on that one, sorry.

[oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat]

The Owl Ornament

Oh boy, oh boy.

Warning: holidays & Christmas (?), vague religious themes, depression, themes of depersonalization & dissociation

Description: The mother gave her child an ornament; an owl made of faux white and grey feathers. Her child looked up at her, confused. They were a child. Children often got trains or turtles or pinecones. Not owls. Why would she give them an owl? 'You're smart,' she clarified, as if reading their thoughts. 'You're quite a wise child, darling. And pretty, of course, just like this little owl.' The owl was pretty, yes, but... how could a child be wise?

Extra: I'll post more fanfic soon, don't worry. A lil experimental with writing style. Please be kind with this one because it's based on a very personal experience of mine.

[Masterlist] | ao3 link

[read under the cut]

Owls watch over the ground below, soaring silently in the mid of night. 

They search and scan for any little rustle in the bushes or any glimpse of tiny fur by the base of trees. They listen for the squeaks, the pitter-pattering of teensy paws, the snuffling of whiskers. When owls find what they're looking for, they strike. They hold on and pay attention. They wait. They strike, and they always notice things that help them See what they need to. 

Owls watch from above, no different from angels, and they See. 

~~~

Ezra was always an observant child. 

They were quiet. They would read instead of playing outside, listen to music instead of singing, draw small sketches instead of watching movies. The other kids thought they were weird. So did the adults, to be honest. 

'At least they're quiet,' everyone always reasoned and justified. 'At least they listen and do as told. I wish my children were like that.'

They didn't just listen, no, that's not what the adults meant. Ezra was obedient to a nearly mindless degree, and that is what everyone always praised. Obedience and silence was all that mattered to them. That's it. 

No one asked why they'd refuse to play with the other kids, or what they'd stay in their room for most hours of the day. That didn't matter to them. They didn't care enough to wonder why Ezra's eyes were always so grey. 

And it confused Ezra when a school counsellor mentioned the unbalanced ratio of friends to books in their bag. 

'You're very smart, Ezra,' she'd said, leaning forward slightly in her office chair. 'You read so much that I'm surprised you don't have more friends with all that knowledge to share.'

Ezra just stared at her. Why would people want to befriend the weird kid? People don't like weird; people don't like different. 

'I'm sure you have lots to say, don't you?'

Ezra said nothing. They knew silence was better, more acceptable. Who want to hear a child's thoughts? People didn't like it when children spoke. People like silence. 

The counsellor let them go back to class, a strangely worried look on her face as Ezra left. 

~~~

At home was no different. 

Ezra sat in silence, reading one of their beloved books. They liked sitting by their bedroom window and listen to the rain from outside. It was calming. It made everything feel... better, I suppose. Not best, mind you, but better. Sometimes, better is all we can afford. 

Their mom never asked why, but Ezra liked to think she wondered. If she wondered, then she cared. Moms were supposed to care. Their mom cared, right? Of course, she did! She'd praise them for being quiet and doing chores. She'd tell them how much she wished Ezra's siblings were like them. She didn't have to worry about Ezra, not like the other kids. They were the least problematic. They were an easy child.

But, that's the thing: no child is truly easy; they just pretend to be. 

Ezra wasn't easy. They were just good at faking being easy. That entailed not talking and reading books alone in their bedroom and doing as told as soon as they were told the instructions. These were acceptable conditions if it meant surviving- living. I meant living. 

And to do so, Ezra had to watch. They had to See, and they Saw a lot. They Saw the way their mom's forehead creased when she was upset. They Saw how their siblings watched certain shows when Mom was around versus when she wasn't. They Saw how the other kids were with their parents, and it confused them when they saw how few people kept silent. Wasn't silence better over speech? Isn't that how it was for everyone? Isn't that just... normal?

They learned others had different experiences, that everyone did. That all sorts of people were different and weird and outcasted. Most people didn't like the weird and odd, but a few people did. Ezra liked those people. They didn't make them feel so alone. A nice fantasy, it seemed, because Ezra never met such a person like that before. They just saw them on the streets, walking. They Saw them, but no one ever Saw Ezra. Maybe they were just a ghost.

Maybe they were always a ghost.

~~~

Ezra liked the holidays and Christmas and everything- just like every other child did- but it always felt grey to them.

They saw the coloured lights and pretty animations, but it was through a grey lens. Maybe they should've gotten their eyes checked. Maybe something was wrong with them. It felt like they were a little storm cloud, hovering above the world and watching from far away. They watched as their hand flipped to the next page in their book. They watched as they blinked, lost in the trance of reading fiction and fantasy. It didn't really feel like reading; they didn't see any fairytale play out in their head. They just saw themself reading. 

However, a knock on their doorframe jolted them from their trace. They looked up from the book, feeling groggy as if waking from slumber, and looked over to see who it was. There stood one of their siblings.

'Mom needs you,' is all their sibling said before running off. 

Ezra closed their book, not before placing a handmade bookmark in it. Perhaps 'bookmark' is a strong word, since it was just a thinly folded piece of lined paper they took from one of their notebooks. Either way, after setting it down, they hopped off their bed and walked out to find their mom. 

After a short venture down the stairs, they found her standing in the living room- which was also the dining room- in front of the fake Christmas tree. It was already decorated with ornaments and lights, evident from the few open tubs of stored holiday decorations. The tubs were usually kept in the under-the-stairs closet, but were probably out because of the holiday season. Ezra idly wondered if their mom would ask for help moving them back, and they really didn't want to deal with that. But they shouldn't be so selfish and lazy. If their mom asks, they should obey like they always do. Their mom likes that. That's what good kids do, right? 

They stood behind their mom for a second before she turned around and slightly jumped, laughing it off as she put a hand on her chest. Where her heart was, or at least where Ezra assumed a heart would be in their mother. 

'Ezra, I didn't see you there! I wanted to give you something for the tree,' their mom smiles lightly as she spoke. 

She picks up an ornament from an almost-empty plastic bag, most likely from the local store. 

The mother gave her child an ornament; an owl made of faux white and grey feathers. Her child looked up at her, confused. They were a child. Children often got trains or turtles or pinecones. Not owls. Why would she give them an owl?

'You're smart,' she clarified, as if reading their thoughts. 'You're quite a wise child, darling. And pretty, of course, just like this little owl.'

The owl was pretty, yes, but... how could a child be wise? Ezra didn't understand, but they accepted the gift anyway. It would be rude not to. It's best not to disappoint their mom. They didn't like to disappoint people. Disappointed people were scary. 

'You should hang it on tree. I'm sure you'll find room for it somewhere, sunshine,' their mom smiled again. 

She smiled a lot. She was a smiley woman. That's one thing about their mother Ezra loved; they loved her bright mom-smiles. 

Ezra nodded, signing a quick 'thank you' before turning to the tallish tree. Fake, plastic pine needles were already shed on the floor underneath it. How can something fake seem so real? A lot of questions, huh Ezra?

They examined the tree with their eyes in a slow, methodical way. They couldn't seem to find a spot for their ornament. There were so many ornaments already, a crowded display of inside family jokes and places their mom used to travel to when she was a younger adult (she was so much freer than, according to her stories she often told her children). Ezra looked around on the sides of the tree, the front, the ups and downs of it, but still couldn't find room. They weren't looking for a good spot, just a spot. They decided to look around the back of it. It was surprising bare on the back of the tree, compared to everywhere else. After looking for a bit, a spot caught their eyes. They found a spot! It wasn't a really good spot; it was kind of hidden and in the middle of a weird place and in the lower areas where no one would really notice it. But hey, it was still a spot. 

For some reason, as Ezra hung their owl ornament in that little spot, it made them feel weird. It felt... strangely like them. Unnoticed, not Seen, away from everything else. Distant. Small. Not bothersome for everything else. It just... felt like something they'd understand. And as Ezra looked at their small hidden owl, they did understand. They understood a little too well. 

Ezra dismissed their thoughts and feelings about the spot. They walked back up the stairs quietly, their mom not even noticing them leaving. They went back to their room, back to their bed, and what to watching themself read from afar as if a ghost of a ghost. 

This ghost was always an observant child. 

[naffeclipse]

Hello! First time writing here :) Just hopped on here to say how much I absolutely adore your writing, I've honestly fallen in love with the entirety of Sleuth Jesters and have cried more times than I can remember while reading it, you genuinely such a wonderful way of telling stories and I can't wait to see how Cryptid Sightings will go!! That being said, I was recently listening to El tango de Roxanne, (Moulin Rouge movie version) and the way a character sings reminded me so much of SJ! Eclipse. I'll leave you a link here in case you've never seen the movie, the character I'm speaking of is the one who begins to sing. The rawness in his voice reminds me so much of Eclipse's anger, the way he starts the story, the escalation from "desire" to "betrayal" and "jealousy will drive you mad" which I think it's a pretty accurate way of representing the stages of Eclipse's feelings towards Y/N, him slipping just as much as Y/N is, taking a bullet to the face, getting more anger driven as time goes by and losing carefulness in his moves, the whole Fire on Fire sequence.

I love how complex every character in SJ is, how similar all of them are and yet how they all had drastically different outcomes from those similarities that tie them together. Even the similarities between Y/N and Gregory, both orphans with one of them getting the chance of a better life, one the Y/N was only able to grasp through the detectives support and still they were already an adult when it happened. I feel like that's an ulterior motive of them being as protective of Gregory as they are, they weren't able to save themselves or the little girl, and Gregory was a child just as helpless as they were, as the girl they sentenced to death was, the difference is that Gregory has them now and they had the resources or at this point, stubbornness, to do everything in their power to protect him.

I'm sorry for the rambling, now I'll leave you the link of the song in case you're interested in listening to it, and hope you have a wonderful day/night!!

https://youtu.be/xwCRjwngXzY

Oh yesss, I absolutely dig the soul and anger and desire behind the first singer! His deep and gravely voice paired with the intense string instrument is *mwah*! Mafia Boss!Eclipse would be killer with a singing voice like this lowkey aldsjfasldf

I also love that the song has two individuals wanting the same person (the detectives and Eclipse in love* with the vigilante) and the stark difference in desires and how their affections are displayed. There's jealousy, but one is dangerous and mad and the other is pining and aching.

Ahhhhha, thank you so much, babe! I'm so happy you enjoyed it and ohhh, I love reading analyses and yours is delightful ♥ ♥ ♥

[sunder-the-gold]

Nintendo needs to cast children for Link and Zelda

Ideally, Nintendo shouldn't be doing a live-action Legend of Zelda movie at all.

But I think casting a child-actor for Link is not only the only way to make that work, it actually does offer something that animation might struggle to inspire.

Fear for a child. A real, flesh-and-blood child.

If Link is a child, it's so much easier for Sony and Illumination to write a story full of scenes where Link confronts mortal peril. The child-actor doesn't need to learn fencing techniques, and the writers don't need to consult martial artists for the fight choreography.

Because he's just a kid who picked up a sword for the first time.

Ganondorf doesn't need to be written as a master martial artist who employs millions of dollars worth of CG sorcery. He just needs to be an adult, with an adult-sized sword.

Harry Potter, Pan's Labyrinth, The Never-Ending Story, 'The Lion, The Witch And the Wardrobe'...

A child's wonder at the marvels of a wide-open world, and a child's terror at the threats from beasts and adults.

[dr-jem-nutcase]

MvA: The 'M' Files take-a-peak, pt. 1

Imma be giving this out in parts. And I won't take forever, I pinky promise. I will be making commentary on this, so feel free to just look at the pictures.

I do NOT own any of this, this is all property of DreamWorks

Cover

Ok, I've always loved the BOB holding Dr C image, but the "Maj. Richard Head" name tag (in the lower left corner) totally went over my head as a kid. But now that much of my innocence is gone, I wonder how on earth DreamWorks (DW) let this sort of thing slip onto the cover of a kids' book. But then again, the MvA movie and even the TV show had its fair share of adult humor too. So no argument

So...let's continue

Intro

Okay, reaffirming that Area 5X is in the middle of a desert. It says the desert, but which desert? BOB's Big Break (I'll just call it BBB) said Nevada desert so we'll just run with that

"KP" means "kitchen police" or "kitchen patrol". Thank you, Mr. Google, for the clarification

A lone bench. And the only bench for miles around. Totally inconspicuous. About as inconspicuous as one lady at my local supermarket who stole clearance stickers from the clearance shelf & put them on expensive items...all while wearing a bright red coat you could see a mile away

And this, I guess, is how the average person gets into Area 5X. Or at least a first-timer. Yeah, there's that runway & the tower with the Area 5X emblem (as shown in the TV series, the video game, & the Art of MvA book), and the "roof" area in BBB. The world is truly a mysterious place

Chapter 1

A loop-the-loop. Always a loop-the-loop. Also, the physics in that hamster tunnel is killing me

And enter the dragon himself

Guantanamo (thanx again, Google) is a military detention camp and prison in Cuba. It opened in 2002, so I'm guessing that this comic is set in the mid-2000s, a few years before Susan showed up. I think I'd rather have that tranq syringe in the situation room in the movie than spend eternity in a camp

Link's cell is so tiny!!

And is Monger's speech balloon covering up a fitness poster or a beach babe poster? I mean, in one piece of concept art, there's a blow-up doll in his tank/cell, so...but then again, a lot of the concept art featured some not-so child-friendly material

Awww, Insecto

Dr C looks like ET. I can't even!

Is BOB juggling or practicing levitation? No matter what he's doing, what is that?

The American people? What about the British people? The Japanese people? The average world citizen?! Either this was semi-lazy story-writing or the average American has a weaker mental stability than the rest of the world population (as an American myself, I would totally believe the latter). If it's just Americans, then let Insecto go back to Japan but away from Tokyo! Get Dr C back to his lab in the UK where he can FINALLY finish his experiments.

But this is a kids' book, so I'll stop whining...for now

To be continued

Well, I hope so far y'all have enjoyed this. See you next time!

[wind-becomes-lightning]

OOO HI HELLO. 25 on the writing prompts for kkobym if u will :333 CONGRATS ON 600 ILY!!!!!

hello my friend! That was some angsty prompt you gave me there! I had this in mind right away, I hope this is sooort of ok, I know you have your own brand of OBKKRIN so who knows if you like this, but I tried!

Hatake Kakashi / Uchiha Obito /Nohara Rin

2900 words

Ao3 Link [x]

for @rinweek2022 Day 1: Everybody Lives Au.

prompt: “It hurts…” “what?” “Loving someone who doesn’t love you…”

Rin wonders why it pains her so much that her two best friends are dating each other.

Rin was always busy, it was one of the many negative feats of her lifestyle. With the Three Tails as her constant companion she had to learn chakra control, figuring out her new abilities, how to use her increased healing techniques, then of course studying new medical jutsu and her general education as a doctor she hardly had any time at all. Apart from that she travelled a lot, saw the world, met the other Jinchuuriki, learned healing practices in the most remote places of the mountains in the Land of Earth and brought them back home. She functioned like an ambassador for Konoha abroad, the girl who had become a Jinchuuriki against her will in the war and now advocated for peace and healing.

She was almost too busy to understand when time moved forward, too away to see the people she had been a child with growing up. To her it sometimes seemed like people just turned into adults out of the blue. Voices lower, shoulders broader and body height taller from one blink to the next, while she, at least in her eyes, stayed largely the same. Maybe that was because she actually got to see herself in mirrors and water surfaces almost every day. 

One day she sat opposite of her two childhood best friends at a cafe just nipping at some kind of sweet bread she had bought for herself. In the time in which she had been too busy to notice Kakashi and Obito had gotten quite the reputation separately, but mostly as a duo as well, learning how to work their twin sharingan eyes to perfection. Rin had never really seen them fight alongside each other, but with each time she returned to Konoha from a long trip and they took her out for food or a movie or just to hang, she noticed how much closer they had become.

It felt like ages ago when they had done nothing but arguing. Rin felt like no time had moved since then to her, but now the two boys often sat close by each other, knee bumping against each other as if they couldn’t keep a tiny gap between them for a second of their lives and somehow she knew what it meant. “You guys are dating, right?” she stated and with that cut off a very long winded story that Obito had started about the son of their teacher Minato and playing a prank on him. 

Both guys looked a little found out, like a deer in a flashlight, but only Obito blushed. Kakashi, as always, pulled himself together much quicker. “How…how.. I mean… no we are not,” Obito stammered, but Kakashi elbowed him in the side. “She already figured it out.”

Obito then bowed his head a little: “I’m sorry Rin, I know you liked Kakashi…. “ 

Rin moved her head from one side to the other and thought of that. She had not thought of her childish feelings for Kakashi for a long time, almost like some other person had felt them in another lifetime. She forced her mouth into a smile: “Don’t worry, it is totally fine! I’m happy for you guys.”

She could not quite explain the pain she felt after this. Was it because she had actually, secretly enjoyed Obito’s feelings for her? That she had always kind of thought if Kakashi would date anyone it would be her? After all, couples coming out of Genin teams weren’t so unusual. But then again a couple did come out of their Genin team, she just wasn’t included.

The heavy heart would not subside when she left Konoha for the Land of Water again. When both friends hugged her goodbye and then snailed their fingers around each other Rin averted her gaze from them. She hated herself for how sour the taste on her tongue felt, how angry the view made her, when they had done nothing to deserve it. 

Kakashi and Obito had grown up and grown out of being interested in her in her absence. That was the price to pay for being the busy travelling jinchuuriki of Konoha, well technically Konoha. Kushina-sensei had employed her to stay around, telling her she need not feel so responsible for the world just because Isobu was inside of her, but Rin had insisted. Now she was left out of changes among those she held the dearest because of her own stubborn mind.

“You are just worried you will be left behind,” Isobu snarled from inside her. “That they will forget about you more and more and then don’t need you anymore.” She hissed him out of her mind, but knew that he was only saying what she was feeling deep down inside. They were connected to each other after all. He could hear all she could hear, see all she could see and feel all she could feel.

Maybe she had been gone too long. Kakashi and Obito had inside jokes now that she didn’t understand. She stopped walking in their middle and walked by their side, often a step behind them, to give them the space they apparently demanded as a couple. There were a lot of “Oh that’s such a long story” and “You had to be there” things they laughed about. Things Rin had missed and would continue to miss, but maybe it was better this way for them to have their privacy.

The aching would grow stronger, even months after she figured out the two of them were dating. Dreams of either of them and sometimes both of them haunted her. It had never been like this before, not when she had a crush on Kakashi either, that overtly romantic themes were invading her mind so much. 

She dreamed of the three of them together on a tatami floor playing video games, legs tangled over each other. After the first time she saw both of them kiss each other Rin dreamed of kissing them both, Obito first, Kakashi second. When she woke up the pit in her stomach felt so deep and so empty that she cried.

The Land of Steam was soothing and terrible with its many hot springs that were loved by couples and families. Rin was tasked to find a herb that was rare and study it in relation to a healing cream that might help with severe burns. She took the time in the country to also relax, sit in the hot water of a stream or two and let her numb limbs take a break. 

But that also meant having to deal with all of the signs of love and romance around her and her mind could not help but cycle back to Obito and Kakashi. What would they do if they could be here with her? Would they have shared a private room? Maybe with an onsen that they could all get in together without the gender separation? And why was she thinking so much about this now?

These thoughts and feelings ruined it all for her. The comfortable lifestyle of travelling and studying that she had put up through her late teens and early twenties suddenly felt lonely and terrible. She knew she could return to Konoha permanently whenever she wanted, work in the Hospital alongside Shizune and report back to Minato for missions that required her chakra control, but she was too scared to go back permanently. Plus, what was there for her to return back to? Kakashi and Obito clearly didn’t need her.

The pain just got worse each time Rin saw either of them back in the village. Each time either of them would wrap their arm around her, tell her a story, buy her food, tell her to come over to watch some movie, everytime they were kind to her. Obito’s constant smile, the way he acted like he had no depth perception with his one eye and walked against lampposts and post boxes just to make her laugh. The way Kakashi could have the deepest, calmest discussions with her about what she had seen on her latest mission, while also blushing deeply at the sign of his favourite dirty book.

In these moments she was happy to experience them, feeling elated and relieved at having been there with her friends, but then the deep pit opened and drowned her again. Reminding her that her bond with them was not as great or important to either of them as their bond with each other.

Part of her wanted to stay away, do longer missions and leave them alone, but Minato-sensei kept calling her back as if he could somehow feel that she was done with the travelling lifestyle, at least if she was honest with herself. So she found herself in Obito’s and Kakashi’s company more than she had previously and the sting she felt each time they were holding hands, kissing or even touching in front of her became almost unbearable.

“You should absolutely come, Obito is terrible,” Kakashi said one afternoon as they sat together at Ichiraku ramen. “He bought this game and now he can’t even finish one mission. Just like in real life.”

Obito blew his cheeks up: “I know Kakashi would have died last mission if I did not save his ass through Kamui. This sir doesn’t have the chakra to use that jutsu effectively enough.” Then he paused and added “But you absolutely should come, our new apartment is great.”

Rin kept up the weak smile on her lips. Obito And Kakashi had recently moved in together, without her of course, because she was still not officially back in Konoha. They had asked her to move in with them, but she knew they were just keeping up pretences, they much rather would have liked her not to be there too. She looked up into Obito’s wide uncovered black eye and could read his expectations in them. “Sure, I’d love to come before my next trip.” It was like someone else spoke that was not her.

Despite what she had told her friends Rin tried to get her next trip moved up to be spared the fate of visiting them. It was rude of course, a little terrible of her to deceive them like that, but the dread she felt just at the thought of seeing their apartment together, their lives together, without her, was too much. However, no matter how much she begged Minato-sensei and Kushina or even the director of the hospital, there was nothing for to do. She was to stay in Konoha for a bit. She assumed Minato had his hands in this, but she could not prove it. With her excuse out of the window, she had no choice but to go to the boy's apartment.

It didn’t surprise her how neat it was with Kakashi being one of the tenants, what surprised her was that apparently even Obito was keeping his clothes cleaned away in either the bathroom for washing or his closet. No dishes in the sink, no dirty socks on the floor, the only room that was a little messy was the living room. A blue cough was aimed at a small tv and a gaming console in front of it. Open games were littering the floor in front of it, as if someone had gone through each of them and tried them out. 

“What do you think?” Obito seemed excited to show her.

Rin sighed at the sight. The pictures of their team at the wall, the little Mr. Ukki plant Kakashi loved so much, the little dog bed for the Ninken. “It feels like home.” It was the first thing that came to her mind and it almost bit her tongue when she realised what she had just said. It was, after all, not her home at all.

Kakashi now stepped next to her, one arm on her shoulder to move her to the left to another door there. “Go there, open it.” She looked at him and narrowed her eyes. “You aren’t pranking me, are you?” she asked. To which Kakashi only laughed and then pushed her forward.

She walked to the door and opened it slowly, still not convinced that this wasn’t a prank of some kind, but no bucket of water fell on her head. Instead the room in front of her was painted in a light violet, had white furniture and a bed, a little desk and a closet. She stared at it speechless.

“We know you don’t want to move here permanently because you are travelling so much,” Obito said and blushed a little as if he were shy, “but we thought you might want to have a space to live in if you are back home anyway. Something close to us.”

The door crashed close as Rin let the handle go and stepped back. Her head was spinning and she could feel the tears burn in her eyes. They were pitying her of all things. Pitying the lonely girl who had grown apart from her family and community and village and best friends so much for the sake of gaining a reputation. They were pitying her and were letting her stay in their lives that they had long since continued without needing her.

“I - I don’t think…” her lips were quivering, “ I don’t think I should.. Get in the way of your guy’s relationship.” She didn’t know how else to say it.

Kakashi looked at her from the side, the visible eyebrow furrowed: “You wouldn't - Rin, is there something wrong with you? You have been so absent lately. “ He stopped for a moment in which Rin bit her lip to stop herself from crying. “Do you have issues with this relationship? Are you uncomfortable with us dating?”

“No! I’m very happy you are happy.” Her voice shook as she looked up. She now no longer could hold back the tears. “I - I just - I just… I just don’t think I belong anymore…and it hurts…”

Obito bowed over to put her face between his hands, wiping the tears away as they came streaming down. She wanted to push him away, but found him too strong to do so. “What hurts?” he asked softly.

The reality of her situation crashed over her. “It hurts to love someone who doesn’t love you back.” Rin spoke with clarity, as if she had understood and known this for ages now, even though it all had just clicked into place seconds ago. The pain in her heart, the jealousy, the anger, it all made so much sense so suddenly.

The two men seemed too stunned to speak. Obito let go of her face and moved back a little. “Who… who is it you love… Kakashi? Because I asked you and –”

“Yes, Kakashi.” She said and looked at the whited haired man. “I’ve always loved him.” Obito opened his mouth again, but then she cut him off by pushing a fist against his chest. “And you, Obito. I love you too.” She let out a breath of relief. It felt so wonderful to finally understand and admit this reality. How had it taken her so long to figure it out? “I love both of you.”

There was stunned silence, so Rin continued: “And I know you guys love each other and that I am not… not part of…this, but I need you to know so you understand that I can’t…” She felt her lips quivering again. “- can’t stick around you anymore.”

She waited with bated breath for a reaction, but what did come surprised her. Kakashi put his head into his neck and breathed out. “My god, I’m so glad that is what it is…” Obito drew her into a hug. “Never worry us like this again.”

“What? You… you don’t think I’m weird?” Rin held on to Obito’s sweater, her elation turning to confusion.

Obito shook her a little in his arms. “When you grew more and more distant we thought something might have happened to you that you can’t talk to us about.  We were so worried.”

“Or when you declined moving here with us we wondered if we had done something to offend you, if maybe we insulted you by suggesting you stay in the village.” Kakashi now wrapped his arms around Rin from her backside, effectively trapping her in the warmth between them.

Rin could now no longer move. She kept her head pressed against Obito’s neck. “I really wanted to say yes, but I thought I would be in the way.”

“Sage, Rin, it’s always been the three of us together. Why would you think it would be different in this regard?” Obito knocked his forehead into hers. “How could you ever think for a second that just because we love each other means we don’t love you?”

Kakashi, his head on her shoulder, hummed a little. As always, he left the big speeches to Obito, who had an easier time articulating his feelings. “Just move in with us, dummy,” Obito said and grabbed her a little tighter.

Rin could feel the tears again and this time she did not hold them back. She grabbed Obito tighter too. “Yes, of course. I really want to”, she said and though her voice was shaking the large pit in her stomach was nowhere to be felt.