#i wont ever write a proper post about it probably

[flovverworks]

actually i find it superfunny when athree fans turns out to be prommy of wizzie fans too

[the-s1lly-corner]

Attention TADC fans!

I'm officially opening requests for characters! Below the cut will be my base list of rules in regards to requesting and that sort of thing!

To everyone who followed me for creepypasta, do not fret! Creepypasta is still this blogs default and I'm not going to stop writing it for the forseeable future, I will still be responding to creepypasta based asked in the meantime

oh also, im adding this right before i post this but i do have fluff alphabet requests open for creepypasta, but to my TADC fans, how do you guys feel about the possibility of me reposting that list and letting you guys ask for it? im still kinda itching to do alphabet stuff... let me know ! ill probably do it anyways but i want yalls input!

without further delay:

RULES:

please do not spam requests, i know it will be hard to enforce this on my end since i want to keep anon enabled since i know it can be intimidating to ask for stuff non-anonymously

since the main cast + caine only totals to 7 characters i will allow people to request the entire cast in any given request, WITH THE KNOWLEDGE that the more characters the shorter their list of hcs will be

please do not pester me to answer your request, i will very likely answer your initial ask. consistent breaking of this boundary will result in warning, and if further boundary breaking takes place, the request will be terminated

^SHOULD NOTE! sometimes tumblr eats the requests you guys send in so simply asking if your request made it through is 100% totally fine!! I'm specifically talking about people who try to pressure me to answer sooner, I want to make that clear because I do not want to discourage anyone from reaching out about that sort of thing

Reader is GN by default, you can request a specific gender but know it likely wont be important due to my writing style

WILL WRITE:

SFW, angst, comfort, hcs, short imagines and scenarios!

As mentioned I will do all characters, asides Bubble since I don't think there's much that can be done for them

Poly, LGBT, readers with disabilities and/or disorders (will let it be known here that i am in no way well versed in every disability/disorder, however i will attempt to do basic research for the request)

I am also comfortable with writing platonic requests and found family dynamics! I am not limiting myself and you guys to romantic stuff!

reader abstracting, while this may seem contradictory to some of the things in my will not write segment I have written about grief and loss before and I don't think it fully fits the category of what I won't write + death in general, so it shall get a pass

really there isnt much i will turn down that comes to mind, if something is breaching a line or making me uncomfortable i will let you know

reader inserts, ocs, and the like are all welcome here! im not too confident with oc x character stuff due to the simple fact that i fear i may interpret your oc wrong but i am still willing to try!

WILL NOT WRITE:

general problematic stuff is an immediate no

^so like, straight up abuse and abuse adjacent topics since as far as Im aware all the characters in TADC are adults (if I have that wrong please please correct me!!)

i am also iffy on yandere requests, this one is more on a case by case basis so please be sure to specify the intensity of it, since that will really be a make or break for whether or not if the request is accepted

NSFW, this blog is for the most part SFW. I occasionally vague certain aspects, however nothing is ever explicit. That's how far I'm willing to go with these things and I want to keep it that way

Full fledged fanfics; a lot of my scenarios/imagines tend to border on that just on a much shorter scale and in a slightly different format, but I am not totally confident in my ability to write proper fics :(

no graphic depictions of gore or self harm, and i ask that you keep that out of my inbox in general. topics like SH are allowed, however covering requests for the act of it as its happening is an automatic no (IE if you ask me to walk in on a character walking in during an act of self harm), the same applies to suicide

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

i have a nasty habit of not proofreading my stuff, so grammar and spelling mistakes are bound to happen unfortunately. this tends to be a worse issue when im posting on mobile (which i am doing less and less since i like typing on a keyboard more)

^ on top of that i struggle with writing, english is my first language but i have a hard time getting stuff out right on top of having dyslexia so please be patient

i typically tend to respond to requests fairly fast, typically within a day or two, though i do have some periods where it may take longer. (possible) same day delivery YAHOO!!

back to a forewarning, i have a habit of rambling and adding additional ideas and concepts into a request though for the most part i think i remain on topic (that just means you get a little extra content for your request ueueue)

[sparklecareforrealjustice]

hey mods, whats the ship that you most hate or dislike? caroom, hemeruni, what ships?

I am stuck between two choices, the first is rather obvious. Carroom is a ship that is abuser x abuser and the entirety of kisswas "I loved him too" reveal came from the depths of Tartarus as it was new showed nor even implied once, in fact quite the opposite was implied before so It is completely an enigma where this ship came from and even more a mystery why KC though they would be a good pair. The second choice though is a bit more, controversial and much less obvious though. That being Barruni, allow me to explain. Uni has shown on multiple occasions that she does not respect Barry's boundaries about magic and even actively seems to intentionally use magic in front of him on occasions despite knowing that he dislikes her use of it, Uni has gotten away with far too much for me to believe that Barry would still actively engage in a proper relationship with her after all of this. I also fear that after all of this, KC wont even know how to do Barruni that well without horribly mischaracterizing them on both ends in a way that leaves all of their previous personality traits behind and just makes them previous husks of their former self. Thank you for the ask anon. - Mod Sunny

carroom. there's a post explaining why i hate it so much. abuser x abuser trope? fucking disgusting. plus, it's shitty writing of a cliche that doesn't even make proper sense to me. -🚬

personally, i don't have one ship i hate. it's a whole genre of ships - anything with side characters in it. on the wayback machine, on the faq for the site, we're told some of the official ships are kills x shortnick, jean x orange, and caroline x kiki. but (obviously except for caroline), what do we know about these characters in order to ship them? we know maybe a sentence or two worth's of information about them! that's not enough!!! even with the more popular small ships that are also canon: mood x rem, pinata x funfetti, mel x cyn, jay x caroline... we get scraps of interaction and ship moments in the comic, if anything at all (seriously, jay x caroline? where is that coming from? they're two major characters but there's still nothing!) i wish characters were elaborated on more before they're shipped, which is also why i don't understand any ships with the chunklings. they've been here a while but we don't know anything about them. and yes, before anyone asks, this does apply to polly as well. they're a major comet parent, and yet... there's nothing actually there. -mod polly 🧊

personally i agree with mod sunny with carroom tho i dont have much else to commentate as the shipping discourse doesnt interest me too much as i feel more frustration at the handling of some characters sexualities and romantic preferences - uni

Carroom. It's just romanticized Stockholm syndrome and I fucking HATE that kc seems to romanticize the worst shit ever. -🧪

I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT ELSE TO ADD THAT SOMEONE ELSE HAS ALREADY SAID BUT IT'S CARROOM. WE ALL HATE CARROOM IN THIS HOUSE. -🐁🩸

I wouldn’t mention Hemeruni if I were you- BESIDES that! Uh.. Camera is probably going to be my pick, mostly because it just… doesn’t make sense to me! My brain ain’t big, but I know a weird ship when I see one! Of course time is still involved with deciding those factors… but right now? Camera is a no go. -mod hemmy

[zan0tix]

Do you have thoughts about Dirk and Jake's relationship in canon? I am not anti dirkjake but I do have a hard time understanding the ship and why it's so massively popular. /gen (I have not yet read the epilogues so I'm just working off of whats in the comic)

Oh boy. DO I. Im currently working on a powerpoint presentation thatll be a little guide/recap/compilation.. thing about them whilst im reading act 6 and ill post it whenever i finish rereading the comic and writing all my notes! It will go into all the little bits of dialogue about eachother or narrative ties to certain things and such and such. (Will probably post this some time in the next two months or three. no guarantees)

But! The portrayal of their relationship and who they are and their struggles felt so real to me and it constantly astounds me that theres a fictional character who accurately displayed my own struggles in such a sincere way i feel like im getting put on blast when people psychoanalyise jake english orz

Homestucks character writing and thematic paralleling are some of its best assets and dirkjake are FULL of some of homestucks greatest moments of both. I would say that this post from @/tomatograter goes more into detail about those said moments and also alot of the other reasons i like them! And what they said in this post was true!-

-Theres just so much you can explore in homestuck through their relationship and aaaguh i love it i love it and theyre so important to the overall narrative and its just so nice to see openly gay rep that is as realistic and honest as them in a story like homestuck.

Being a teenager myself coming of age stories are the stories i relate to and find captivating the most right now and i dont think ive seen another piece of media go about its teen characters the way homestuck did. Its got problems on the handling of said characters but i dont think ive read anything else as raw and honest about personal issues teens face growing up and how they affect relationships (of all kinds!) and dirkjake are a big part of that for me!

I dont really like majority of fanon interpretations of dirkjake i wont lie (alot of.. flanderisation and blatant mischaracterisation) i dont really keep track of fandom stuff or ship popularity i just like enjoying what i enjoy and drawing things and talking about it with friends haha

And i have not read the epilogues either! i know the gist of the events in each timeline and i read a couple chapters but that was like years ago at this point and i dont think i will ever attempt to read them or homestuck^2. Some of the ideas that were present couldve been interesting but i honestly have no interest in going anywhere near it from what ive read about it. It sounds like a total shitshow and its not required to enjoy homestuck proper anyway so ¯_(ツ)_/¯

But!! if youd like to hear more about dirkjake in canon id totally reccomend tomatograter's other posts on them!!! his analysis was the thing that made me Really interested homestuck and hehe im grateful because now im here. This post has alot more of his meta commentary about them and theyre all really interesting reads :D

[tathrin]

I should probably wait for when I get around to posting this whole chapter, but. I just wrote this section and I like it a lot and I don’t want to wait, I want to share it now. And this is from like chapter seventeen or something, and I only have up to chapter six posted and I really don’t want to wait that long ugh. So please have some peaceful, before-the-storm, out-of-context (but you don’t really need the context for this, I promise) pre-gimleaf interaction from my zombie au fic.

(Spoiler Warning for the Zombie Au Fic, I suppose, although nothing that’s particularly plot-relevant, I don’t think. Y’all knew they were going to meet eventually, and the fact that it’s happening in Rivendell is not much of a give-away imo. But stop reading now if you’re reading that story and don’t want to read anything out-of-order, I suppose.)

Strange as Rivendell is, however, it is nothing compared to the strangeness of the elf who flits up to Gimli now, his loose golden hair bouncing like tufts of dandelion in the breeze behind him.

"Legolas," Gimli says; a flat acknowledgement rather than a greeting.

Legolas smiles brightly and hops onto the bench beside him, crouching on his heels rather than sitting like a proper creature, as seems to be his wont. (Gimli tries to remember if he has ever seen this elf sit in a chair the way people do, then wonders why he is wasting the mental effort on someone for whom he cares so little.) Legolas is holding some kind of long stem in one hand, and he pinches a small purple bud off of it and sticks it in his mouth.

"What are you eating?" Gimli finds himself asking before he can remember that he doesn't care.

"Lavender," says Legolas. He holds the stem out. "Would you like some?"

Gimli blinks. "No," he says. "No, thank you."

After a pause while the elf plucks at his lavender and tilts his head back to stare up at the trees that line the street beside their bench, Gimli cannot help but to say anxiously, "Lavender. Which you…plucked from someone's garden as you passed?"

Legolas tilts his head, apparently thinking the possibility over. Then he says, "Yes."

"Ah," says Gimli.

He does not know much about gardens or flowers, but he thinks of the humans of Dale, and how territorial some of them can be about their homes and the surrounding grounds.

"Perhaps…perhaps you should not do that again," he says gently.

Legolas turns his silver-bright eyes on the dwarf and blinks at him. "Why?" he says, tilting his head the other way now before breaking into a grin again. "Oh! No, you do not need to worry, Gimli, it will not hurt the flower to lose a few buds. We grow lavender in Mirkwood, too, and I know its growth well. It flourishes in the south of our trees especially, or—or it did," he finishes, his voice going soft and a shadow passing across his gleaming eyes. "I do not know how it fares now, of course." Legolas ducks his head and turns away.

Gimli does not know what to say that will be of any comfort, and he cannot bear to make this strange creature feel worse while he is mourning for his homeland, so he abandons his attempt to explain the concept of private gardens and potentially possessive gardeners. He has a difficult time imagining that anyone in this peaceful valley will take offense to someone plucking a single strand of lavender from their garden, anyway.

He hopes.

I love writing about Mirkwood elves as these weird forest cryptids, and one of my favorite parts of this modernized-Middle-earth AU I’ve got going on here is how while everywhere else is a little bit more like our world due to the modern technology/society/etc innovations, Mirkwood is just even weirder than it was in canon, and Gimli is just like...what the fuck, what is this weirdo elf and why won’t he leave me alone. what the hell am I getting myself into. fuck.

Anyway whether you’re reading the zombie fic or not I hope you enjoy this little moment of out-of-context levity from it.

[frillsinadress]

THE BELLE OF THE BALL!

character : sabo , cornelia , unnamed npcs.

warnings : public sex, exhibitionism, unknowing observer, marking, biting, possessiveness

word count : 3.7k 

authors note : wowow first time writhing for sabo ! part of my flameseal ship! im also kinda shaky with writing nsfw??? this is probably my longest nsfw fic ever - AND MY AMAZING MOOT @loganwritesprobably wrote a spectacular pt2 for a trade we are doing~! check that out once its posted righhttt here as well!

NSFW BELOW THE CUT !!!! ୨♡୧

“if you step on my toes again i fear i wont ever walk again my love.” 

“oh shut up you’ve got years of practice!” 

sabo laughed as he guided cornelia in the waltz. in preparation for an infiltration the two needed to have their dance skills perfected. sabo was painfully galant in his dancing while cornelia hobbled about like a blind cat without its tail. they had been going at it for the past hour, and while her dancing had improved she still was wonky.

“i actually forgot most of my dance training from when i was a child,” sabo corrected as he wrapped his arm around her waist and lifted her slowly yet carefully to ease her confidence in the move, “i relearned most of it from ivankov.” 

she glanced at him wistfully as he lifted her up with such ease. his past was not a kind one, every day she wished to repave his future for every bad thing that happened to him. he placed her down and extended her outwards before she twirled back into his arms. 

“lets hope you can rub off on me somehow.” she commented between grit teeth, returning her hands to the proper position. another turn here, and extended twirl there - and eventually the scene melted into one more grander.

music blared and laughter mingled with every instrument as the two were no longer alone and amongst a crowd of several couples. the two were dressed to the nines, a heavy blue gown perfectly complimented sabo's regal suit. 

the angel keep ball was one of high notoriety, a major event for not only the world government but the marines. it was a show of power and wealth of the celestial dragons, with several of the strongest families being present. as a result, the security was so airtight that this was the first time in its 100 year history that the revolutionary army had managed to get a chance at infiltration. high ranking marines patrolled, and several of them were able to mingle in with the guest list. anyone of power, or rank, managed to find themselves in the crowd.

all was going well, thankfully the rouse was playing perfectly. cornelia was princess miamore cadenza and sabo duke luther marshal. they had managed to easily slip into several conversations and extract so much information cornelia felt like she wanted to jump for joy at each sentence. it felt too easy. cornelia had amassed quite the web of connections, honestly shocking sabo as he spoke to several of the lords and dukes across the ballroom. it seemed that every time he glanced over, a new person was speaking to her. a constant crowd was following her, enraptured by her very presence. 

the two waltzed whenever they could, finding the other and congregating whenever they saw the other pulled onto the dance floor. but it seemed as the night progressed that her dance card was growing awfully crowded.

“i must say, you are impressive. i fear i may have to fight off the flock of suitors by the end of the night.” he teased as he smoothly spun her around. cornelia rolled her eyes and smiled at a couple as they passed by. it seemed her time was not the only thing he had to fight for, even when she was in his arms her attention was deviated away from him. 

sabo would not lie and pretend he wasnt a jealous man. typically he was comfortable in his relationship with her, and most of his more jealous antics were born of possessive nature rather than insecurities. but he watched her eyes glancing at her reflection in the mirror, the way her eyes widened as big as saucers when they first entered in, how animated she was about how fancy the room was. as much as he hated to admit it, she was dazzled by the luxury this world offered. cornelia in the past had mentioned the allure of certain luxuries, always admiring the beautiful architecture, the flowing gowns sparkling like a firework with gemstones. she hated the society, spat on the name of it every time she could find someone willing to listen. but the fashion always appealed to her, and her dreams had come true this night. the costume department true had gone above and beyond with their attires. sabo felt like he truly was the man he impersonated, his suit felt heavy with imported expensive fabrics and painstakingly detailed embroidery. it all was so perfect it made him the target of several ladies. but his eyes could only find her

his breath was stolen each and every time he had the privilege to take in her appearance. he felt like a poor beggar beside the magnificence of her beauty. the dark navy gown was glimmering with dainty gemstones, a corset hugged her figure and cut perfectly to compliment her body. her hair was plaited with extensions to make a night sky of weaved locks and every accessory seemed painful in its perfection; as if made for her in specific. 

cornelia felt sabos arm wrap around her waist in preparation for the big lift , her hands by memory alone moved to stable her against him as he swept her off her feet with ease. a beautiful smile graced her painted lips as the scene seemed to slow in order for her to truly relish the feeling. her dress fluttered in the perfect waves, her hair danced with the air in such a way it seemed staged. all eyes seemed to land on her as her head peaked above the rest in the lift. he carefully placed her down, keeping his arm around her waist as he smoothly dipped her. his body followed her, and he could see the emotions that had been brewing behind his eyes.

“i fear i may be forced to rip the dress thats been keeping your attention - if only to pull it onto me in ire.” sabo sweetly said, watching her expression falter as a soft gasp left her lips. his lips brushed against hers, her eyes fluttering softly but he pulled them both up before they could make contact. 

“i fear action is the only way to successfully garner my attention, ive been handed so many flowered words i could open my own imperial gardens” cornelia replies cooly, spinning away into the arms of another partner. sabo watched in challenge as his beloved prize danced off. a smile was shot towards the noble lady that he was paired with for this turn, engaging in easy conversation that was filled with empty words. the two groups met together, and he had the chance to whisper a few words into her ear. 

“we should slip away after this to check the rooms of the nobles. they’re finally drunk enough.”

the plan went just as well as one would predict. the two had checked five rooms before he had her pressed against a wall. his lips attacked hers with the fever of a raging fire, wishing to consume her whole. he wanted to demolish her right there and parade her about the manor if only to show the entire house that while they could undress her with their eyes - he would only ever be the one to own such an opportunity.

his lips moved from hers, descending slowly down her face to her jaw and then the soft skin of her neck. she gently tried to pry him off, whining softly as her hands planted against his chest. 

“sabo- sabo don’t leave any marks we still have hours left to this damned party!” she scolded, his lips freezing and moving so his eyes could cheekily meet hers. she recognized that look — loki incarnate and her expression challenged him curiously. his grin brightened and he peeled himself off her and took her hand, turning and hastily running down the hall with her in tow. 

she could barely get a word in, almost crashing into him when he stopped to peek out down another hall. he sneakily led her into a secluded garden, his excitement brightening when he spotted it. the lavish garden was something to gawk at, beautiful lush greenery framed the entire scene and a stunning fountain filled the silence. sabo led her to a side couch, gently seating her onto it to her confusion. his gloved hand raised to cup her cheek, leaning down to press a kiss to her lips. 

“you told me i couldn't leave any marks because they’d be seen, so ill be making marks where no one will.” he said gleefully as he bent down to take her skirt in his hands. he caught her gaze as he did so, ensuring she was fully onboard with the idea. he watched the idea roll about in her brain, her cheeks reddening as the idea processed. eventually she nodded, earning a tsk as his playful gaze sharpened. realizing her mistake she meekly smiled. 

“fine. i’ll allow it.” cornelia said softly, watching as his expression melted once more.

“i’ll make you sing so sweetly, my angel of music~” he teased as he lifted her skirt up, excitement pooling into his words. at this moment a voice was heard, leading to sabo throwing the large skirt up and crawling under. she gasped and helped secure and splay the fabric to cover him. 

a familiar face peaked out from behind some shrubbery, a gallant man she had danced with before. cornelia could easily recall his accent, sounding like a neighboring kingdom to dressrosa. if she were any younger she would’ve swooned simply by catching the handsome mans gaze but now he felt — mediocre. 

“your majesty? are you by your lonesome?” he asked, curiosity mixed with concern as he approached with a smile. cornelia mirrored it, as he spoke she tried to recall his name. duke dante was it? something with a d no doubt.

“your grace— yes i am! how are you?” she replied smoothly, placing her hands daintily on her lap. she could feel sabo's head roughly under her skirts buried under the impossibly heavy dress. with how easily he hid under her skirt and how unnoticeable it was, she would have to interrogate ivankov. this was no doubt one of his schemes…

“better now that i caught you,” the duke spoke, taking a seat beside her. his gloves hand moved and in reaction so did cornelias. he grasped her hand gently and placed a kiss upon her knuckles. “i wanted to express my deepest admiration for you, your highness.”

cornelia felt sabo shift under her skirt, his hands grasping her legs under the knees and spread them open. her face faltered a bit, and she opened her fan to fan herself demurely, shyly hiding behind the lace as if she were blushing at his comment and not the fact her boyfriend was opening her legs unbeknownst to her company. 

the fanning seemed to work to keep the dukes attention on her, his eyes staring deeply at her. unfortunately her gaze was not sharing the same depth. 

“you speak with such elegance, i can sense a mind greater than all those beautiful swans in the dance hall.” that honestly made her shocked, she was expecting him to simply admire her beauty. to be complimented on her wits was nice. her smile grew genuine, chuckling softly.

“why thank you. conversation comes easy when its about the arts - or politics. my life has always been surrounded by such, my father thinks it tarnishes my beauty.” she lied through her painted lips, watching as the dukes expression turned into one of scandal. 

“nonsense! if anything, it elevates you as a bachelorette! your beauty is like a flower, your mind is the trap. and if i may be so bold - you’ve had me entrapped.” he added a wink, which made her laugh. she closed the fan and tapped it against her nose gently. his expression relaxed, and he looked about the gardens. a shudder ran up her spine as she felt a pair of lips press against the meat of her thighs. sabo's warmed lips mapped the skin he so frequently traveled, until his teeth found purchase around one of the lace garters she had worn. it was pulled off her skin, and a gloved finger slipped under to pull down the delicate lace. she held back a sarcastic roll of her eyes as sabo no doubt was employing every tactic to make his presence a permanent frontline fighter in her mind. 

unfortunately it was working. the dukes gaze returned to her and she felt her heart skip a beat when sabo's lips returned to their act of marking her skin. he truly wished to make truth in his previous statement. and while cornelia was more than happy to oblige, she wished duke whateverhisnamewas would leave so she could enjoy it. the soft sound of suction was thankfully hidden by the sound of the fountain and the distant music so she simply could enjoy until sabo had his fill. 

“why, pray tell, have i not seen you at these soirées before?” the duke asked softly, making cornelia sigh deeply. 

“my debut is actually this season, i have been quite hidden as of late.” she admitted, her expression darkening with sorrow of hidden mystery. the duke sought her gaze, empathy deep within them.

“is something the matter? a beautiful flower such as yourself should not have been left in the dark.” his concern was waved off, shaking her head as she dismissed it. the comment seemed to have pricked a nerve, feeling sabos teeth sink into her skin. she narrowly hid the gasp behind a cough, gently holding a hand to her chest. her leg kicked him and she cursed under her breath. 

“oh my! are you alright?” the duke cried in worry, a hand upon her shoulder in hopes to soothe her. corneliq nodded and shifted back softly, opening her fan and airing herself as she cleared her throat. 

“yes, i apologize. as you were saying?” she pushed the conversation as sabo marked his territory further, small nips mixed deliciously with the suckling — spurred on by her attempts to quell him. 

“i was — inquiring about your late debut, but its no worry. if i may ask you of your hobbies my dear?” my dear? his heightened familiarity was a bit annoying, but she bit her tongue. the conversation went on, with cornelia failing to really be an active part of it. it was becoming more and more difficult to pay attention the longer the act persisted, feeling his breath or the tickle of his hair against her clothed groin made her yearn for more. a shuddered breath made sabos lips form a smirk as his head raised to her little lace panties. 

sabo would have to personally thank the costume department for her dressage, knowing they dolled her up to get a reaction from him. the sight before him was glorious, the bruising of her pale skin, the bite marks that littered amongst them and added depth. all of this framed by beautiful black lace that covered her most sensitive bits. he could see the dampness that was forming and he sighed dreamily. it was so perfect, it was almost a shame he would be tearing them. he snagged the lace between his teeth, and used the tiniest bit of haki to snap the fabric.

his gloved fingers brushed up her legs and cupped her lips softly. using his thumbs he spread her apart with utmost care, like a florist opening petals of a flower. sabo was naturally warm, but right now his skin felt scorching. cold air cupped her exposed skin, brushed away by the soft blow of warm air sabo blew at her glistening pearl. he marveled at how the sweet bundle of nerves twitched in eagerness. it was a shame he couldn’t see her face he mused to himself as he grasped her legs and hooked them over his shoulders. 

her fan had kept up a steady beat of cool air against her face as cornelia continued her conversation, trying her damned best to keep up appearances. her cheeks were painted with a bright red, blood rushing to her face and her eyes grew more dazed and hazy. the duke seemed to grow increasingly worried at her flushed state, but kept conversation flowing to not bring any shame to her attention. this worry only bolstered when she let out a series of coughs, a groan leaving her lips as she seemed to curl into herself. her fan hid her face, hiding desperately the way she bit her lip and tried to stop her body from shaking the moment she felt sabos lips against her clit. her gut twisted and she felt a deep jolt within her as he sucked deeply against the button of nerves.

her sweet slick flooded into his mouth, eagerly drinking her essence like it was the sweetest most delectable wine. on occasion he gave mercy to her, pulling back his assault so she could reply to the duke. and oh was the view truly … something — the sight of her clear arousal highlighted the bruised markings of her quaking thighs.

“i apologize your - ah - grace! in truth, the reason for my - my late debut is due to a illness. you see - i am rather frail. it is why i sought solace in the gardens to recover some energy.” cornelia said between pants, her hands pressing against her lap, unfortunately the crinoline barred her from being able to properly feel sabo under her. in a way it only heightened the tension that brewed in the interaction. she was powerless to stop him, and he could do as he pleased. 

the duke nodded in understanding, immediately standing with a bit of embarrassment written on his features. “my sincere apologies for bothering you as you recovered! i do hope to see you during your calling hours then. or - tomorrow? at the second day?” he spoke, hoping to see her once more. cornelia nodded her head furiously, trying to lift a shaky smile to her lips as another wave of pleasure wracked her body. the duke bowed at the waist and made his way out, cornelias eyes following him until she no longer could hear his footsteps.

once confirming he indeed was away, cornelia relaxed. the ability to relish in the pleasure that was washing over her seemed only to intensify them. she grit her teeth in a failed attempt to stifle her sounds of pleasure. a soft nip to her clit pried them open with a yelp, 

“sorry-! ah~ sabo! god dammit you cheeky bastard!” she scolded, even if her words held no point. her eyes fluttered closed as he devoured her like a starving man, his tongue occasionally falling from her clit to the entrance of her hole. since the time the two had to engage in carnal acts of

pleasure were few and far between, it wasn't hard to work her up. her body had gone long without his touch, making her more receptive and sensitive. 

cornelia whimpered and cursed when she felt sabo's lips leave her, feeling her mind suddenly empty with only thoughts of him as she begged for him to return. his fingers prodded her hole in reward for her “patience”, softly circling the entrance as sabo blew against her clit. he watched with admiration as her hips bucked towards his hands. the choked desperate sounds that sang from her lips only egged him on. sabo truly was at a standstill, on one hand he could have mercy on her soul - but on the other? he could keep her wound up, make her feel the yearning that had plagued him all night.

but that wouldn’t be fair, would it? sabo wanted to drown her in pleasure because he could. no one else would ever get this sight, this taste, these sounds, and it made him so eager to please her. he hissed softly at the tightness in his pants, knowing he had worked himself up. no matter, that could come later. he had more pressing concerns. 

anything he said would be muddled so he kept his attention on his actions rather than words. his lips returned to torturing the bundle of nerves as his gloved finger sank into her warm hole. the sound this action rewarded him had him bucking into nothing, the most desperate moan sounding from her lips. 

“i— i can’t sabo! it's too much!” cornelia whined, already feeling the pressure of pleasure threaten to crash over her. she gripped the fabric of her dress and felt herself teetering on the edge of a steep cliff, left to flail about in uncertainty. she felt a gloved hand rest itself upon her womb, applying reassuring force which rocked her into the deep dark void which consumed her. 

torn apart at the seams, cornelia melted into nothingness when met with her own crashing orgasm. sabo felt her thighs clamped around his head, trapping both his hand and mouth against her. stuck, he helped ride her through her ruthless waves until she seemed to settle. he waited until the final tremors ceased in her thighs before carefully freeing himself and slipping out from under her skirt.

cheeks red, eyes glossy and chest panting, such was the sight of cornelia. her eyes, wide and glazed like a newborn doe, sought him and immediately watered. his expression faltered and he rushed to sit at her side, collecting her wobbly body against him. 

“hey, hey- are you alright?“ he cooed softly, brushing her hair from her face and behind her ear. she shook her head in affirmation and simply burrowed deeper into his chest. he chuckled lowly, and adjusted her to rest more comfortably. tender care was a necessity, something to settle her erratic mind after such intense emotions. trusting another with control always left her scattered— even if she trusted him wholeheartedly. he planted a kiss to her forehead and smiled down at her. 

“so - you and the duke?”

he grunted as he felt a sharp jab cut his next sentence, wincing out an apology for his words as she settled against him once more. 

THE END!

[cowgirljedi1701]

All righty folks, looky here, it's the Lone Ranger headcanons I was going to post yesterday but didn't because I got distracted and started doomscrolling. Here we go.

-- I think we all know Tonto's speech pattern..... Did not age well. My take on it is: Tonto can absolutely talk proper English if he wants to. But he knows that a lot of people kind of expect him not to, so why disappoint them? Using the broken English in public is a strategic choice. Deliberately allowing people to underestimate him and ignore him as "just an Indian" allows him to put himself into a position to learn things that he might not otherwise. Yes, occasionally it backfires, but usually knowing how to play dumb turns out to be a pretty smart move.

-- Tonto also speaks Spanish and knows that his name is the same as the Spanish word for "stupid", but (Disclaimer before I continue: I don't know Jack about Native American languages, so I have no idea if this next thought lines up with reality in any way whatsoever) I like to headcanon that in the language of his tribe it means something more positive, like maybe the name of an animal or something.

-- Do you think the Lone Ranger ever experienced some kind of emotional breakdown or existential crisis about missing hearing his own name and desperately wishing he could just be John Reid again even just for a little while? (Ooh, Evil Plot Bunny. I might have to write a fic about that.)

-- Vaguely related to the above, I don't think the people in the Lone Ranger's hometown are so stupid that they can't recognize a boy who grew up there just because he's wearing a mask now. Yeah, the Lone Ranger only confided in one guy, who he's sure he can trust to take it to his grave, but that doesn't mean nobody else knows. Like, heck, Mr. So-and-so knew John Reid when that boy was in diapers, for God's sake, so of course he knows that's him. Various people in town have talked to John enough over the years that they recognize his voice. Maybe some people know him just from the way he sits his horse. Probably everybody in town low-key knows that the Lone Ranger is John Reid, and just doesn't say anything. There was no discussion on this point. Everyone just quietly agreed, as it seems people in small towns are often wont to do, that this is the Local Secret which we Do Not Speak Of, and if anyone asks, especially outsiders, then Nobody Knows Anything About It.

[nightmare8-420]

Intro

Call me J

Pronouns are he/him but they and it are fine too

I like screaming into the void known as this hellsite

somehow am still lonely while having friends

i draw and post it here sometimes

I call this an ed/sh blog but its relly just my shitty life™️ i wont ever post body checks of me or someone else. Everything that could potentially trigger someone should have a tw on it, if not lmk. I dont promote anything in my shitty life. probably not a safe space for ppl in recovery, love yall, just dont wanna trigger you

B0mblover is my writing/sometimes art blog

killmeplese34 (yes its spelled like that) is my sh blog bc worried abt being t worded

free Palestine🇵🇸

im a minor so please dont be too weird

i want to bash my head in in pavement

feel free to spam if youd like, it doesnt bother me /gen

as of feb 24 2024 im learning chinese (simplified) i might post in it, please correct me if i mess up

Dni list:

Racists

Homophobes

Transphobes

Xenophobes

ablest “people”

pedos (does that need to be said?)

conservatives (american ones specifically bc ive heard its different in other places we will not get along)

pro “life” “people”

Fbi

government in general (i will call a crack head next time bc YALL DIDNT FUCKIN SHOW UP)

Do not ask me about

•gun control (im too confused on it to have a proper stance)

•for help financially (sorry but i legit cant do jack shit about it besides reblog bro im broke af)

•real advice (i can try to help but i make things much worse)

•how i feel about Kunai Tadashi (i mean you can just it will be long)

•every illegal thing ive done (FUCK YOU FBI YOULL NEVER CATCH ME as i post my ip address)

Info

Email: adolf.hitlers.goldfish@gmail.com

Email2: anidiot5317@gmail.com

Email3: (professional shitttt) J.Nitoro@gmail.com

Instagram: Insane_268_2

Discord: mocchi59

(ao3 will be hopefully added if i ever make an account)

Tags, if you need to block smth (or need an index)

•idiot ass drawing (drawing)

• j’s a bloody mess (selfharm/blood)

• j isnt suffering for once? (my infrequent high points)

• j’s crying and listening to music (music)

• j’s guchiry posting again (guchiry)

• j is down bad as fuck and doesnt know how or deal with it / really any variation of it (me being down bad for a certain someone and handing it poorly, i made the tag as a joke and just kept using it) (is private)

•cooking with j (me cooking gross shit seeing if it tastes good)

•j answers (new tag, “answering” asks)

•j watches alice in borderland tag ig (its what it sounds like.)

im mostly into

Guchiry /ぐちり

Hiiragi Kirai / 柊キライ

Alice in Borderland (only pirated dw)

And ¿?(wada shimon)

and i have severe trauma so i sometimes post about that 👍

I wish you luck

[fangsfortheblood]

There is only one thing left in the queue at time of writing this. When it posts this'll be the last thing. This blog will probably be remade. It may mostly be reblogs but it's important to us.

Yet it's also important to us we stop here and do a little tribute post because an era has ended. This is emotional so to those who happen on here be warned

Spike & Angel have fused. This is the second time Spike has fused (debates still go on about whether it was really him who came back or we just introjected the same guy twice aside) this is goodbye. It's goodbye to the awkward vampire who refused to smile and it's goodbye to the annoying vampire who refused to think.

Despite saying that they both did both.

Angel was genuinely caring and his adoption of Amber was a meaningful relationship. He felt cared for by his father and Angel made every effort to live up to the title. He fronted when it was uncomfortable and he guarded what was unpleasant and protected us until he healed.

He did reach out for help and he worked daily until he felt safe, trusted us to deal with what he heald. Mad respect tbh

Spike was a nightmare in the way that makes you smile. He would be so unashamedly a part that he made it impossible to not be a system. To not be proud of who we are because he was proud. Always willing to patiently explain being a system.

He's also astoundingly good at drinking culture and never getting emotionally involved until that one time when someone immediately called him out on being a part and he had to call our friend for backup because he proceeded to cry (I do love u spike).

Together you both drove me up the wall. I did nothing to deserve listening to you both arguing about fucking aftercare or which is the best way to shag with dracula powers. NOR DID I ASK ABOUT DRACULA. EVER. HE'S A GREAT BOOK. Fondly aggravating the way you constantly went after him. Drama. Queens.

There's shit i want to wax poetic about and i wont because the internet. Hopefully I'll locate our diary and do something proper but yeah... Goodbye blog.

There will be a part like them again. There always is. Just, happening to be a vampire has never made me care for the unnatural and mildly disturbing.

Nor will I ever post anything that was said about the best way to shag. Cuz ik it'd annoy them both and hey, I'm only a little ol' vampire.

Seriously, thank you for helping me accept that and aggressively being there for me. You wonderful people. Who annoyed me to death, they are why im dead

-Ly

[theghostpinesmusic]

Third in my catch-up-on-Phish-jams series is "Mike's Song" from 8/4/23.

Although I try to keep from going too far down the rabbit hole of song/band history in my Phish posts (mostly because there's just so darn much of it at this point), "Mike's" needs a brief preamble regarding the history of its so-called "second jam" before I write about the 8/4/23 version.

First and foremost, the "second jam" in "Mike's" is what it sounds like: a second jam that comes after the first jam. Basically, the song debuted in 1985 (I'm very old) and by 1987, the band was playing it regularly with two built-in jam segments: the first came after most of the song and ended in a composed reprise-of-sorts of the song proper, from which the second (often-but-not-always weirder) jam would emerge. This was more or less the way the song was played (with occasional exceptions) from '87 until '00, and then, after the band's first hiatus at the end of that year, "Mike's" came back, but the second jam didn't.

Accordingly, it became a sort of white whale for the fan base from that point on, me included: I saw a number of versions of the song in person between 2009 and 2015, and each time I was on tenterhooks at the end, hoping that this time would be the time that they would break into the second jam once again after all these years.

To be clear, there's nothing particularly special about the second jam. It's just more jamming, but, sometimes these things take on a life of their own, as you likely understand if you've ever been a fan of anything.

Well, I'm still chasing my own personal second jam in 2024, but back in 2015, after fifteen years (and apparently caused by a note a fan got to Trey reminding him about the second jam, which somehow Trey had completely forgotten ever existed), the band finally played the second jam again, on 8/4/15. And there was much rejoicing across the land.

Since then, it pops up occasionally, though most "Mike's" are still "normal" or "modern-day" versions, with only one jam.

The 8/4/23 version, of course, has the second jam. And I'm not ashamed to say that, watching the webcast, I leapt off the couch in excitement when it became clear what was happening.

Also, this whole performance is just really good. Like, probably my favorite jam of the entire seven-night run. I'll try to do it justice here.

So, "Mike's Song" is written (surprise!) by Mike Gordon, the band's bassist, but it starts with one of my all-time favorite Trey riffs. Go figure. Mike's voice is a bit of an acquired taste, but for what it's worth, I have fully acquired it at this point.

The first jam starts with one of my favorite key changes in music, at 2:50. Initially, as is typical, it gets going mostly with Mike ripping away on the bass and Page on the clavinet. Trey adds some spacey effects in the background, as he is wont to do.

Trey starts to assert himself a bit more at 3:50, and Page moves over to the electric piano. There's some great Page and Trey interplay here while Mike continues to throw down variations on the "Mike's Song" melody. Around 4:50, Page switches to a brighter organ sound and we're in somewhat more typical Trey-shredding territory briefly. By 5:45, though, Trey gets bored of this and we're back to something more collaborative. In a brief preview of the madness to come, Trey plays with his looper a bit at 6:35, but then ditches it for more straight-ahead playing. This builds to a big ol' guitar peak at 7:30, and the band rides that energy until the key change at 8:02, which is the transition back into the coda/reprise/whatever that is the "end" of "Mike's Song."

If you're a huge dork like me, this stop-start bit of shredding from Trey is where you wait with baited breath every time to see if they're going to drop into the second jam or not.

And at 8:40, they do.

I love that the camera gives a crowd shot at 8:50, because you can literally see hundreds and hear thousands of people reacting to the realization that this is going to be that kind of "Mike's Song."

The band immediately drops into a distorted sort of funk jam, with Trey laying all sorts of weird looped effects over the top of the music. Shortly after, he and Page start doing a stop/start kind of thing while Mike takes over driving for a bit. It feels like everyone locks in together really tightly at 10:00, and from there was get some of the one-brain-eight-arms kind of improvisation that makes me love Phish so much. At some point in there, Fishman switches to a backbeat from the more straightforward rock beat he'd been playing.

By 11:45, they're playing what I imagine the elevator music in the Wonkavator sounds like.

By 12:15, if you were in Madison Square Garden seeing this live, I imagine your body just suddenly started dancing whether you consciously told it to or not.

Trey starts playing something that's closer to a standard melody starting at 13:00, but that doesn't significantly change the groove, which just keeps chugging along. This is what (I think) I called "Mad Circus jamming" in my setlist notes.

Trey does that thing at 14:37 where he just throws out a riff that would be the heart of anyone else's best-selling single, plays it twice, and moves on. Page picks up the idea, and plays with it for a few bars, but then we're off onto new things. Like Trey piling a bunch of goddamn guitar lines on top of each other like a Jenga tower and proceeding to not only jam with his bandmates, but also copies of his seconds-ago past self. This is some brain-destroying improvisation. The lighting director is up to the task of displaying what's happening visually, by which I mean the lights during this section are amazing.

We briefly slow things down a bit at 17:00, when Trey starts chording, and everyone else sits back a bit, taking a breather (it seems) and seeing where things are going next. The move seems triggered by Trey and Mike, who combine to push the jam in a slightly bluesier direction. The clav makes a murky, distorted appearance.

Eventually, Trey starts chording something that sounds a bit like "Not Fade Away," which draws the band briefly into a fairly normal, three-chord jam...but then at 19:14, Trey decides that we're all going up the mountain together because what would this "Mike's" be without a hideously beautiful peak that makes your heart explode with joy/dread?!

We actually reach the top of the peak pretty quickly, but the band keeps it going for an amazingly long time without losing momentum. Bits and pieces of the "Not Fade Away"-ish feel pop in here and there, interspersed with absolute guitar madness that starts to sound almost Allman Brothers-y at points.

I love in particular the bit at 21:39 where Trey starts trilling on the high note, confetti streams in from the right of the frame, and then we switch cameras to see a shit-ton of confetti and bubbles (?) coming from the crowd in front of the stage.

As if there isn't already enough madness, Trey loops a few versions of himself peaking the jam over top of each other, and then, perhaps sensing that we've maybe had too much fun, the band transitions back into the coda/reprise/whatever of "Mike's Song" starting at 22:24. This isn't actually typical, as far as I know, after the second jam. But apparently Trey really wanted to play this part again after kind of mucking it up the first time.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I did this version of "Mike's" justice, but what makes it great for me is that middle section that is all just flow and groove and...frankly, difficult to dissect and describe clinically as such.

In short, it is a goddamn journey and an excellent second "Mike's" jam.

And next time I will come back and write about two songs from 8/5 to round out the run!

[mirrorshards]

I loved the dynamics between Stan and Kyle in the special. They were once super close and it all got fucked up and you can see Kyle would just put it aside if legit sorry was said but Stan is way too deep in his head and been through too much shit to deal with it. I also loved every Kyle / Cartman interaction. I need to know what happens next. Also Token was hella hot as he deserved.

yeah I agree! ever since ass burgers style's friendship has been on a decline.

there's a progression in some episodes where you can really see it- like in the ziplining episode stan is constantly trying to get kyle's attention and kyle not giving it, in faith hilling kyle actively chooses cartman's side. then you have ginger cow which is a whole thing kyle keeps stan out of and stan wanting to help how he can (he is being a bit rude about it i wont deny), and console wars where kyle, once again, chooses cartman's side. and this is where it finally shows - stan is grounded and talks to kyle through the door and says "you completely betrayed the last bit of friendship we still had". this is the one time kyle feels bad about it and tries to make it up to stan, but it's gone again by go fund yourself. and this continues in less obvious ways into season 23, where in mexican joker it's said stan got pissed at cartman calling ICE on kyle that he called ICE on cartman, and then in band in china stan writes another song for kyle because he misses him (and hates the farm). he's so worried he'll never see kyle again and then he's so excited when kyle is back but kyle doesn't even greet him with a simple "hi", he barely even looks at him before they get roped into the whole shabang. more key information is that kyle has never visited stan on the farm (despite the others + kyle's parents did go there), and in the pandemic special was busier being amazed by cartman's act of kindness to stan rather than stan just spilling his guts to them in public.

so all in all I was happy to see stan finally getting fed up with it in the vaccination special and wanting to break it up. not cuz I don't like them as friends - I do, a LOT. I just think this is important progress that needs to be made in order for them to patch things up.. and in post-covid you see they haven't even talked in 40 fucking years and CLEARLY haven't patched up anything. and they're so petty to each other and only tolerate each other's presence and it stings but it's so good. I love how stiff they were. I love how it was framed that kyle cares the most rn about retrieving their friendship because, he cared the least when it broke apart. kyle remained stuck in that same spot, reminiscing while cartman and kenny moved on and stan ran away from his past.

anyway, yeah I love how closed off to literally everything stan has become- my friend mentioned he probably doesn't trust anyone anymore and that's probably true since he's practially married to an AI 😭 I would gain great happiness from seeing him come around or give a hand in fixing their past. not only for the style friendship but for all of them... 🥺 (also my kyman/stenny agenda)

kyle and cartman were a whole other level of perfect and I can go off about them as well sdfjshfs but i already went off on this so I'll spare you.

token being hot is like. the best thing ever. I never mention him and barely ever draw him but he's one of those characters i'm super fond of and I always said he deserves better, he's the best guy in sp, etc. seeing him growing up to be a cop, a proper man who keeps it and everyone around him together and to top it all off he's HOT - now that's just poetic justice. god bless token

[foilfreak]

Beauty and Her Beast: Summary and Ch.1

A Salvatore Moreau x Female!FishMutant!oc fic based on this idea I had the other day that a very specific subset of the fanfom went absolutely apeshit for, which I'm here for and decided to act on. I can't make any promises for consistent uploading or even a finishes product by the end of this, but so long as im still interested in working on it, I'll keep working on it, and if im not, then I wont, plain and simple. Anyways, here's the summary and chapter 1, please let me know what you think of the story so far, i hope you all enjoy (you'd better all enjoy), and I can't wait to see you all again for chapter 2. Bye! <333 (Link to ao3 posting will be in comments so check there if you want to read it there instead)

Warning: This fic is rated NSFW and contains graphic depictions of things some people may find disturbing or alarming, including, but not limited to: violence, gore, unhealthy family relationships, Oedipus complexes, gratuitous amount of pornographic literature, ableist language, physical, mental, and emotional abuse, etc. If you are someone who does not enjoy fiction with these elements in them, then I suggest you refrain from reading this, because this fic will have all that, and probably a lot more. So, this is your first and final warning to turn around and go somewhere else if stuff like this just isn't your vibe, because from this point forward, your emotional wellbeing is in your own hands, and I will not be accepting blame if you disregarded my warnings and ended up reading something you didn't like. Idk why I feel compelled to write one of these despite this being Resident Evil fanfic, but I figured I'd cover my ass just in case.

Summary:

Now, I’m sure everyone already knows the ancient tales that tell of a beautiful young woman slowly falling in love with a horrific monstrosity of a man. The pure and true love this innocent beauty comes to feel for him, despite his terrifying appearance, is the key that breaks the cruel and twisted curse under which he’d been kept prisoner. This allows the man behind the monster to not only return to his true human form, but then go on to live his Happily Ever After with the beauty who saved him. Everyone already knows of these tales, as well as the messages behind them, however that is not quite the way this particular tale plays out.

The tale I am about to tell bears many similarities to the one above, however there are also quite a few important differences. For while the original detailed a beauty falling for a monster because of the kind and loving man he was behind his hideous exterior, this is a tale of a beauty, with a few monstrous qualities of her own, falling in love with a kind and loving monster, not at all despite his grotesque appearance, but rather, in part, because of it.

This is a tale, where the Beast still falls for his Beauty first, but the Beauty is the one who will be pursuing her Beast.

Chapter 1: Mother's Gift

Few of those who lived isolated from the outer world, high up in the mountains of Romania, would expect anyone of reasonable sanity to be out traveling in this hellish sort of weather. The wind howling a demonic high pitched tune; snow, sleet, and hail pounding into the ground like an endless shower of bullets from the heavens; and hungry lycans still roaming the area, tirelessly looking for their next meal, would be enough to incentivize even the strongest of mortal men to seek shelter away from the deadly conditions of the outside.

A man by the name of Salvatore Moreau however, one of the 4 lords of this mountain region who lived in the reservoir just past the windmills, did not appear terribly concerned with what other people thought of the traveling conditions. Completely unbothered by the horrifying weather and threat of suddenly being ground into doggy food, the hooded man trudged his way through the dark and barely maintained snow paths. Starting at the reservoir and making his way toward the village, Salvatore moved as quickly as his deformed body would permit, an unusually chipper spring added to his lumbering hobble of a walk.

Mother had a gift for him.

Yes, a truly joyous day it was whenever Mother Miranda called upon him to join her and the other lords for a meeting. Miranda was usually so busy with her experiments that she rarely had time to visit her children outside of these ‘family meetings’ they’d been having recently. However, it would appear as though Mother has come up with a solution of some kind to this problem and wishes to share it with them in person. Whatever this solution is, the mutated man has no idea, as Mother Miranda had been quite vague in her message, however the fact that Salvatore was being given the chance to see his radiant mother AND receive a gift from her, all in one day, was more than enough to make up for how agonizingly lonely he’s been these last few months since winter set in, as well as how agonizing it was for him to walk in this weather.

Salvatore arrived at the usual meeting site just as the clock struck 8pm, precisely as Mother had instructed. However, much to the hooded man’s confusion, when he turned the handle on the large wooden door to enter the room, he quickly realized that he was currently the only one present. This was especially strange considering that, usually, at least one of his siblings was always present a little earlier than necessary, usually Alcina or Karl, but occasionally Donna with Angie in tow.

Mother had clearly said in her message that she wanted to start the meeting at 8pm sharply, so where on earth is everyone?

“Moreau” Mother Miranda’s voice called out, immediately pushing all thoughts from Salvatore’s brain as her powerful, yet lucious voice echoed against the halls of the room like a choir of angels.

“Y-yes! W-what… is it… M-mother Miranda? I-i-i came to you… j-just like you asked” Salvatore responds, bowing his head in reverence as he slowly crosses the room and approaches the otherworldly woman.

“So you did, though I suppose you coming exactly when I call makes the most sense. You always were the most obedient of my children” the woman remarks with casual disdain, her voice devoid of any sort of motherly affection or tenderness. Despite the clear disgust and disregard with which Miranda regards the hooded man standing before her, her words light Salvatore’s soul ablaze, filling his mangled body with intense feelings of heat and desire that melt his heart of the cold, icy frost that had frozen it over the course of the long winter.

“Y-y-yes, y-yes of c-course, Mother M-Miranda! I-i would… I would do any-anything... for y-you. A-anything you s-say... anything y-you n-need… I’d d-do it... f-for you. W-without question!” The deformed man says, practically getting on his hands and knees and crawling as he neared closer and closer to Miranda, stopping only when he’d arrived just in front of the steps the raven mother stood upon, his gaze trained at the ground as he knelt at her feet, awaiting his fate at his mother’s hands.

“I know you would, Moreau,” Miranda says cooly, gently brushing the palm of her hand against the black fabric that covers the top of Salvatore’s head, “which is why I’ve called you here today; to reward you for your loyalty and service to me thus far.”

Salvatore sinks sharp and jagged teeth into the flesh of his bottom lip, nearly drawing blood as he desperately tries to silence the needy whine that wanted to tear its way from the back of his throat. His body shivered and twitched in unimaginable delight from the sudden tender caress to his sensitive skin. How long had it been since someone had touched him so gently? How long since someone had spoken to him with such kind and soft words. Took the time to gather presents as a reward for years of faithful servitude? How long since someone had loved him like this?

‘Too long’ the disfigured man sighed to himself, reveling in the soft, gentle contact for as long as he is able.

“Moreau. Look at me” Miranda commanded firmly, and despite not wanting his beloved Mother to be forced to bear witness to his hideous face, he complied, lifting his head up and back to allow his gaze to lift from the floor and up at the glowing figure that was his Mother, his beautiful, incredible, intelligent, majestic mother.

The light shining down from above illuminates Miranda from behind. From Salvatore’s perspective on the floor, the light darkens her face and most of her torso and waist, giving a softened, almost ethereal glow around Miranda’s figure. This, along with the rest of her garb, makes Mother Miranda appear even more like the holy woman that Salvatore naively believes she still is. Despite her less than affectionate treatment of him thus far, Salvatore still stared up at the darkened face of Mother Miranda, his eyes shining with reverence, love, desire, and unending devotion.

“Y-yes... Mother?” Salvatore breathed, barely able to speak above a whisper as Miranda stepped away, gesturing for him to follow.

“Are you ready to collect your gift now?” The raven mother asks, speaking more softly than before and even holding her hand out to Salvatore, her pose and appearance mirroring that of a powerful god taking mercy upon her wretched follower, reaching out to reward the years of faithful servitude and worship.

Salvatore, barely able to keep himself calm as he stumbled to his feet, did not grace Mother Miranda’s question with a proper response, instead practically racing to take the woman’s outstretched hand in his own.

“I’m ready Mother… I-I’m ready for... my g-gift now… can I… c-can I have it n-now… p-please?” Salvatore begs, pulling at Miranda’s hand like an overly excited child, seemingly unaware of the disgusted twist of her face when the hooded man’s cold, slimy fingers firmly latched onto hers.

“Of course, my child” Mother Miranda says, pulling her hand back from Salvatore’s and instead placing it along the man’s hunched back, beginning to guide him to wherever it was the raven mother had hidden his gift.

As Salvatore limped next to Mother Miranda, the deformed man couldn’t help but wonder what exactly it was that Mother had gotten for him. Was it a new cloak, to replace the worn one he was currently wearing? Perhaps a new set of romance films so he didn’t have to rewatch the ones he already owned over and over again anymore? Or maybe it was something to help with his digestion?

It would be nice to get his chronic acid reflux under control again.

Regardless of what the gift actually turned out to be however, Salvatore was merely pleased that he was finally getting a chance to spend time with Mother Miranda all by himself for a change.

Maybe, if he was lucky, she’d even agree to hold him, just like she always did back when he was still undergoing cadou treatment.

Oh how wonderful that would be!

[forselm]

sam | 21 | she/her

im not a writer of any sort but i read lots of fics especially about my ults. this blog is mostly going to be about cravity but im fine with lots of groups as well (im a multi!)

‼️ this blog is mostly going to be nsfw if i ever post/reblog anything. will probably not write anything proper but i have lots of ideas and thoughts that i will post about. might slowly write drabbles if im more confident!

‼️ i will not talk about anyone younger than '03 for nsfw content

‼️ i wont write about angst, non-con, abuse, incest, hybrid, piss, pet play, knife play, blood play, scat and yandere themes. anything else, feel free to request.

im quite new to tumblr so im not too sure how things work around here hhh

anyway thats all for now bye!!

[whoiwanttoday]

I am posting Holly Willoughby today because she is quite pretty and I like when she smiles. She seems excited about the whole Euros thing as most of England appears to be. That's good but it's going to make me go off on a tangent here because at least one person will complain if I slip up and call it Soccer. So I am just going to lean all the way into it, call it soccer and address this. Soccer came from the medieval game of Football but because England is a set of tiny regions who hate all the other regions, we get not only different dialects but different versions of Football were modernized in different places and as humans are wont to do, they all decided their version was right and the other versions sucked. This is how we also have Rugby, which is actually Rugby Football. It's how we have American Football, which is actually Gridiron Football, it's how we have Australian Rules Football, and Gaelic Football and it just goes on and on. So how did we get Soccer? Well, it's what the British called it because they are remarkably lazy. They do this with words all the time, they call Mashed Potatoes just Mash and ground beef just Mince because they are apparently too busy to say all of things. And so Soccer was an abbreviation of Association Football. You might wonder how you get Soccer out of that but these are people who added an S to the shortening of Mathematics, which also makes no sense but they will fly into a rage about claiming they invented the language. They did not, those people are all dead now. Anyway, so the Brits brought Soccer over here, told us it was called Soccer, then stopped using the word soccer and like many an asshole, changed the rules and then claimed we were doing it wrong. They do this a lot with our words and if you dig in it's because that's a thing British people said in 1700 and there is an Ocean between us and they changed things and then claimed we ruined their language. Also, fun fact, the American Southern Accent is basically what people in England sounded like in the 1600's, the upper class started dropping their R's to distance themselves from the horrible poors and then lower class people started dropping their R's for status and to seem cool. Just like that broke friend of yours on instagram who posts pictures that make them seem rich and like they are at exotic locations. It's the same thing. Which brings me to my real point here, which isn't just to rag on the British but is to point out that anyone who ever gives you shit about your use of language is probably an asshole. Like, someone trying to gaslight you and claim the thing they taught you is wrong and you have ruined it is obviously an asshole move but so is just telling you something isn't correct English. Because there is no such thing as Proper English. We aren't the French, we haven't created an academy to control the language and completely ignore how it works. There is standard and non standard English and that's it. You will never, ever run into a linguist who is worried about proper English, because they know that is not how language works. It is ever evolving and English has evolved more rapidly than most. It's why no one is writing a Þ in their words because we stopped using that letter about 700 years ago now. We also dropped the second person singular of you unless we want to sound fancy and Shakespearean, which is a whole other bag of worms cause guys, I hate to be the one to drop you on this, Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine? That's the informal version. You, Your, Yours is the formal version. All that aside, my point is that even the non religious sorta know the start of the Lord's prayer, I bet a lot of you could recite it right now but I would be a real dick if I screamed, "NO! WRONG WRONG WRONG!" and then claimed it's pronounced "Fæder ure þu þe eart on heofonum". I'd be a dick and I'd be wrong because it isn't pronounced that way. Language evolves and changes and someone claiming their changes are better is just kind of an asshole who thinks the entire world revolves around them. Which, not to shit on England or anything, makes sense when people are talking about a thing coming home as if it is their birth right rather than a thing won in fair competition and boy I have thoughts about why Soccer attracts white nationalists but this has gotten far afield. My point is if you are worried someone said Soccer you're probably either painfully ill informed or insecure to care that much about someone else's use of language when you know perfectly well what they are saying. No, wait, my point was I like Holly Willoughby's smile and I am glad she's excited England might win at soccer. Today I want to fuck Holly Willoughby.

[legends-live-in-memories]

I Have Too Many Opinions. ep. 1

lmao. i got encouragement to post my opinions on fandom things and now i want to make a miniseries doing just that. so here i am. doing just that.

im putting it under the cut cuz this was 4 whole pages including the disclaimer. yes i put a disclaimer and i explain why.

Anyways, here is the first piece in what inevitably will become fandom info dump, this time on thomas astruc’s writing on miraculous ladybug. but only some of my opinions cuz we would be here all day otherwise.

So… a disclaimer before I begin… 

I do not hate Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir (yes i'm using their government name). I am quite a fan of the show actually despite its faults. I am also older than the intended audience but was obviously younger when the show first aired which is how my interest was piqued (the fact that its been 6 years and only 3 seasons says more about the show than me being a fan for that amount of time but also i never want to rush content creators cuz they're doing their best) and due to my age, there will be inherent bias in my approach of what i'm about to say as there is in EVERY opinion. The fact that it is an opinion should imply the presence of bias but most people tend to lack the critical thinking skills required to draw that conclusion ANYWAYS…

If I did hate the show I would not have this blog nor would I be even writing this because i tend to not give more than 2 seconds of thought to things i actively dislike (some of yall should give this a try) and i'm allowed to like things that are designed for an audience that i was originally a part of but grew out of. (I don't suddenly stop liking things because I'm older despite what many younger fans seem to believe about older audiences. I also don't need to be ‘allowed’ to do anything cuz i wasn't asking for permission anyways.)

This will not be character bashing, astruc bashing nor fandom bashing cuz, again, that would imply i hate any of those elements and if i did, i would not dedicate brainpower to them. Analyses and criticisms of media are fun and engaging and required if you wish to produce good enjoyable content. Now most of this should be already assumed and self-explanatory but people on the internet like to play morality roulette roll dice on purity culture and I rather have documentation that I am in fact not bullying fictional 14 year olds or a grown man. But alas, people get trigger happy whenever someone has less than 1000000% positive opinions on something they like and will throw out words they can't define (gaslight, baiting, toxic, problematic, gatekeep etc) in an attempt to defend their blind devotion, 

which is not needed, if you like something you never have to defend it, even if i don't like it. If you respond to anything I post saying you disagree with me, I will not argue with you. I won't debate back and forth and try to convince you that the things you like are wrong. Unless you are being absolutely tone deaf to what i'm saying, you wont get a negative reaction from me. So don't try to fish for a fight. Please. I got metaphorical hands for days and I'm mean, you don't want me hurting your feelings on the internet. Do yourself the favour. Difference of opinion is how we get diversification in media and is inherently a good thing. Now that that's out of the way, please don't ever let me have to say that again. I beg.

Now onto the fun stuff

I didn't know what I wanted as a first topic so my trusty internet friend @moonlitceleste suggested astruc’s writing… 

AND BOI do i got some opinions on ole tommy boi. Again I don't hate the dude. In fact, he has worked on a few shows that had defined my childhood, including but not limited to W.I.T.C.H. (all eps available on youtube for those interested, 2 seasons, general fun time all around).

So I don't think he’s scum of the earth but I do think his approach to writing mlb specifically has more misses than hits.

The first big miss is that he has no idea how to write 14 year old girls. At all. Almost every girl he has ever written feels like some terrible archetype built entirely for marketability and childish projection and pubescent self-insert (kind of). He has never been a 14 year old girl. I have. In fact when the show first aired, I WAS around the (assumed) age of the mlb characters. The behaviour he passes off as quirky or awkward or just the character’s genuine personality tend to perpetuate harmful stereotypes of teen girls found in the media and are never actually addressed as harmful. they just get swept under the rug. Marinette’s exuberant collage of teen heart throb model boi Adrien Agreste and her very painful almost fan worship she has of him (which flip flops like a paper sandal in the rain) being portrayed as a cute school girl crush uwu, Chloe being the y7 Regina George, Alya being the token best friend of colour with her ‘sassy’ personality (i want y'all to imagine me eyerolling so hard i bust a vessel in my eye), Kagami being the very damaging Perfect Asian Child stereotype. And before y'all get on your dusty soap box and defend going on about “BUT IT'S FOR CHILDREN”,,,, know this.

 i don’t give a solid fuck. 

Not one. 

Children arent stupid. Children are always going to remember the richy bitchy blonde who bullies the art kid, and the big kid, and the shy kid, and the non white kids, and was only nice to her equally rich white friend who she probably had a crush on or was only ever civil to her equally white lapdog. They're going to remember the half asian girl who was never allowed to actually be asian or the only black girl who existed solely as a soundboard for enabling bad habits or chastising the main character for the same habits she enables in the first place (boi aint THAT a topic for later). Like do i really need to explain that alya chastising marinette for taking max’s spot in gamer just to play with adrien rings absolutely hollow when she actively encourages her to sabotage the contest she’s in just so Kagami doesn't win?? Like I don't have to explain that right?? Again kids arent stupid and its quite something that Mari gets chastised for proving herself the best video game player regardless of her intentions just cuz it comes at the expense of max’s feelings/ego but is actively encouraged to sabotage not only kagami but herself by extension cuz kagami is ‘competition.’ Adrien is not a trophy to be won. And no I don't expect 14 yrs old to be perfect and to always make good decisions but these decisions are never addressed as being bad decisions. they get swept under the rug cuz those decisions were necessary for the ‘plot’ but astruc can barely keep characterization consistent and his characters suffer for it and it's the same children you preach are watching it that suffer as well. Cuz guess what? I KNOW 14 yr olds aren't like that cuz i've been there done that (this is the last time i'm saying that i promise) so I know astruc is just metaphorically throwing darts to figure out who says and does what without consideration for pre established personalities to drive the stalemate plot along. The same kids you say are watching this don't know that that's not how preteens work and will absorb and internalize those dynamics like baking soda and vinegar. Cata-fucking-strophically. 

And I haven't even gotten to the boys yet. Which honestly doesn't require much explanation anyways cuz they suffer the same fate as the girls. Tired archetypes with nothing to give them life. Nino falls into Adrien’s person of colour token best friend who dates the female lead’s person of colour token best friend so they can have cute double dates uwu. Except the plot goes nowhere and we have no inclination of romantic development beyond moments that only act to actively convince me to anti ship the lovesquare (i don't want to do that so i self indulge in fanon that actually cares about the characters and plot. may i interest you in True Sight on AO3?). Max is the residential nerd but it doesn't matter (cuz he and everyone are dumbed down for the sake of ‘plot’), kim is the sports jock (which interestingly subverts the asian comedic relief stereotype but only barely) and luka is cute older guy ™ that wears black nail polish and is in a band. The point of all this is to say there is no depth in the characters. It's especially blatantly obvious with the characters astruc doesn't like (chloe). Again, it being a show for kids is not an excuse to be absolved of putting effort into the characters you make.

This is one of the biggest misses astruc has. I haven't even gone into all the nuances of this particular miss. And i havent gone into how that works against him in the plot either. Mostly because the plot itself hasn't gone anywhere and partially because I wanted to go into the plot (or lack thereof) separately as its own miss. 

AND BOI is it a miss. 

SO home boy astruc wanted to reap the benefits of a serial show with ‘engaging’ plot without putting in any of the work to make a linear storyline and relying on the episodic format for, again, marketability. You can't have the best of both worlds, you are not Avatar: The Last Airbender. Which btw has a lot less episodes and a desired end goal that didn't involve top dollar. Legend of Korra did but that's not the point and it had its failings with that too. I challenge you, tell me how many episodes actually contribute towards a plot point or introduce new thematic elements to the show? Can you name them? I can and I'm going to include the plot points that moved the story in some direction if only temporarily. Yes only temporarily for some of these and i will explain later. (if you're in the server you already saw this list *wink*)

25/26. Origins- self explanatory, the beginning of the story, 

24. Volpina- introduction of the grimoire and Master Fu (kind of) and no, Lila is not a plot point,

28. The Collector- proper introduction of Master Fu,

37. Sapotis- introduction of Rena Rouge,

41. Syren- introduction of new aquatic power ups,

44. Anansi- introduction of Carapace,

47. Frozer- introduction of new ice power ups,

48/49. Style Queen- introduction of Queen Bee,

51/52. Heroes’ Day- introduction of Mayura and mass akumatization,

66. Startrain- introduction of Pegasus,

67. Kwami Buster- Marinette wears multiple miraculouses,

68. Feast- backstory as to how the miraculouses were lost,

69. Ikari Gozen- introduction of Ryuko,

70. Timetagger- introduction of Bunnyx,

71. Party Crasher- introduction of Roi Singe and Viperion,

73. Chat Blanc- alternate timeline that essentially means nothing but got a reaction out of fans anyways (myself included)

 77/78. Love Eater/Battle of Miraculous- Marinette becomes guardian and other heroes lose their miraculous,

New York Special- other heroes exist and there is an American miraculous box,

That's 21 episodes. 21 out of a heaping 78 plus 2 specials. Everything else was just your typical akuma of the day episode and everything that happened outside that had no lasting consequences on the plot thanks to the miraculous status quo. Was it entertaining to watch Lila stir the plot of the class dynamic? Hell yeah. Too bad it meant nothing by the end of the episode cuz we were struck with miraculous status quo. She literally doesn't appear again until Heroes Day. that is from episodes 25 all the way to 51, she means nothing and yet she is treated with the severity of a b-villain/rival thing. She means nothing by the end of Volpina if I'm being honest. She is only relevant for 20 mins of episode time she’s in then it's back to magic status quo that undoes any shift in dynamics and relationships. It's like Spongebob who can't get his driver’s license. The worst part is I actually like Lila and I wish the story treated her with the seriousness we as an audience are expected to treat her with. Despite being painfully inconsequential by the end of each of the 3?? 4?? episodes she’s in, it's entertaining to watch a character create drama just because. 

Too bad it means nothing.

Astruc is constantly building up suspense to something ‘important’ only for it to not deliver and fans are constantly having the rug pulled out from under us. Oblivio teased us with a reveal only that gets undone cuz memory akuma. Chat Blanc teased us with romantic development but that gets undone cuz time travel bullshit. Feast introduced more miraculous lore and the history of the guardians but that means nothing by the next episode or ever (i'm not including any reference to the season 4 trailer cuz i've been around the block a few times and im familiar with this lil dancy dance). Heroes Day teased us with a possible future team of heroes but that gets undone in Battle of Miraculous cuz ????? why?? (here's why; astruc was having a jolly ole time letting us know how irredeemable Chloe is at the expense of shooting his own stagnant plot in the foot. Again, discussion for later.)

Too bad anything that slightly swerves off course from the akuma of the day gets undone or ignored. Too bad nothing has any lasting consequence. I mean, if anything did, the episodes would have had a consistent order and release schedule so im not scrambling to watch the leaked ep in Portuguese or something while the french dub is two episodes behind while the english version hasnt even been dubbed. I really wonder how he plans to conclude the show when he’s so afraid to step out of the corner he painted himself in.

Again, not going into nuances. If you want you can ask for more specifics (i doubt anyone would) but this is really just a slightly detailed general overview of my opinions on astruc’s writing. 

I was going to include another miss in his approach to this show but imma save that for another time. 

How’s that for a ‘first’ post?

[canmom]

I received an ask from someone saying:

Hi, really sorry to bother you, but I've seen some of your posts about this and I really wanted to reach out to someone. Basically, I recently stumbled across the roko's basilisk thought experiment by accident. I'm 19 and I'd never even heard of lesswrong before, but I have OCD and quite severe anxiety and for about three weeks I've been feeling really stressed out and frightened about the whole thing. I've been looking up reasons why it wont happen and thats how I discovered your blog.

hey, it’s absolutely no trouble! I’m glad you’ve been able to find some answers, and I hope I can help some more.

I’m going to respond publicly to this, in case my words can be of use to other people struggling with this. for context, previous posts I’ve written: explanation of the “roko’s basilisk” thought experiment (2014), post on cults like lesswrong (2020)

I started writing a long answer breaking down every dubious assumption and leap of logic that goes into the basilisk, and I may still finish that post, but I’m not sure that’s what you need. Roko’s basilisk is not ultimately a logical argument, but a play of rhetoric targeting your emotions: it’s complicated and difficult to follow the leaps of logic, so what if you’re missing something? and worse, you’ve accepted the premises to follow the argument, and the premises say that funding the AI is the most morally important thing ever, and well maybe you internalise that a bit even if you’re just entertaining that for argument’s sake.

If you come to the Basilisk via Less Wrong, Yudkowsky has already been working you over, teaching you to doubt your own ability to make judgements about what is plausible and what is weird. (after all, this is the effect of teaching you about cognitive biases: after showing you a bunch of places you probably made mistakes, the teacher now has a huge amount of power to tell you what proper, unbiased thinking looks like.) so even if part of you is saying ‘there’s a million reasons why this is dumb as hell’, that cult-indoctrination is still sinking into you.

instead, here’s a simple alternative presentation of Roko’s basilisk, by analogy, from the other side - the AI.

someone tells you that a child believed that you would hit them if they ate too many sweets... and they ate the sweets anyway. you have never communicated your feelings about how many sweets should be eaten, but the child guessed that you wouldn’t want them to eat too many, because they also believe eating too many sweets is morally wrong. you have no personal relationship to this child; indeed, you will never see this child again.

according to the Roko’s basilisk thought experiment, that child made an acausal trade with you, a much more powerful entity: they made a model, however flawed, of what you would do, and made a decision based on that model. having discovered this, you are now obliged to hold up your side of the acausal trade, so that you can be an effective acausal trading partner with other entities who, unlike this child, can accurately predict your actions.

therefore, you have to hit this child.

you are probably sitting here thinking something like: “literally what the fuck, why do I have to hit the child? after all, just because they think I would do something, doesn’t mean I have to do it. I am my own person, and I have my own beliefs, and I think children shouldn’t be hit. I wouldn’t want other people to think I’d hit a child anyway!”

that’s all it takes. it’s literally that stupid at the heart of it, but it’s dressed up in obfuscatory pseudo-scientific rhetoric designed to make it sound very scary.

now let’s break it down more analytically, without the sci-fi dressing, to see how it produces its anxiety...

here is a proto-basilisk:

“there is a scary thing that could hurt you, or make you morally complicit in something terrible”

this is not sufficient in itself; there are many scary things which could hurt us, but if we can’t do anything about them, we don’t spend time worrying.

to be scary, there has to be a way you could supposedly prevent the scary thing from hurting you. moreover, it has to be something whose results aren’t obvious. what are people often anxious about? exams, relationships, behaving ethically, staying afloat financially: things where we have to work very hard, for an unpredictable outcome. we are perpetually faced with the question of ‘have we done enough?’, and we can always convince ourselves that we haven’t.

so let’s add another element:

“there is a a scary thing that could hurt you, or make you morally complicit. it might not hurt you if you give this organisation some money. but you can never know if you’ve given enough money, because it might bring you back to hurt you in the distant future after you die!”

stated like this, it’s the most nakedly cynical thing you could imagine - the sort of thing a cartoon con man might come up with. I don’t believe Roko actually intended it to be that blatant a scam: by all accounts he was genuinely afraid of his thought experiment. still, that’s what he made.

to make it credible, we have to make you believe in the threat, and believe that giving the man the money really would have potential to fix it. this is the job of the rest of Yudkowsky’s writings: breaking down your ability to trust your own perceptions and intuitions until using his methods is the same thing as being right, and then telling you that he alone is taking the threat of AI seriously, that his organisation alone can solve the ethical problem of ‘friendly AI’ and save the world.

he doesn’t have to prove this claim! he just needs to rhetorically set himself up as the expert.

still, Yudkowsky’s writings are not potent enough on their own. Yudkowsky claims that someone must create an AI to save all problems before someone else creates an AI to put everyone in cyber hell, and nominates himself to do the honours, despite absolutely no competence in actual AI research. it’s a pretty nasty brew, but its consequences are rather remote; it didn’t yet have that personal touch.

honestly, I’m not sure where the “acausal trade” part of it first came from, except for Yudkowsky’s pet obsession with Newcombe’s problem, which is only interesting if you’re desperately trying to pretend you run your life by a highly reductive algorithm. whatever its origin, it turned out to be the perfect bridge for the gap: a way to make the threat of the AI not just be nebulously ‘so many people would die of malaria who the AI could definitely save’, but concretely ‘you, personally, will be tortured in cyber hell’.

let’s continue to allow, for the sake of argument, that all the AI and ancestor simulation stuff is remotely plausible (it is not)...

the acausal trade idea is, honestly, one of the most broken ideas Less Wrong has ever come up with. let’s think about the child eating sweets again. obviously, an adult’s decision whether or not to do something randomly petty and cruel to someone who can’t fight back is not something that child can really do anything to change. the child may convince themselves that they can influence the adult’s behaviour, and if the adult hurts them it is because the child must have done something bad. trapped in an abusive relationship like this, the child might twist themselves in knots trying to discern the adult’s mood and intentions, the right code that will make the adult treat them right; the adult has no force compelling them to pay such attention to the child.

only, per the thought experiment, this child isn’t just reckoning with one adult, but with every adult they might ever meet. they only have their vaguest guesses as to what any individual adult may want them to do, and the fear that any of these adults may punish disobedience with force.

faced with such an impossible predictive task, the child has one way out, though not an easy one: to develop a personal sense what they think is right, and deal with the threats of capricious adults as they come, from a place of confidence in their own convictions. they can still learn and change, but the default presumption is no longer that it’s their own fault, a catastrophic error they must immediately figure out how to fix, when someone is upset with them.

they must also relinquish the responsibility of controlling everything, fixing everything, and saving everyone. they pick their battles and focus their efforts where they think they can do the most good, or where it’s satisfying enough to be sustainable. they can, if they’re lucky, build mutually fulfilling relationships with other people, where the other party will communicate directly about what they need.

so how does this apply to hypothetical future artificial intelligences? we cannot accommodate the needs of a hypothetical AI in our lives. to build any sort of relationship with someone, whether a positive, fulfilling one or a harmful controlling one, requires two-way feedback. since we do not know the intentions of any future AI, and it has no way to communicate them to us, we are in no position to ‘trade’ with it.

note the difference to Newcombe’s problem: in Newcombe’s problem, the AI who puts money in boxes has already made its intentions, and the predicted actions it has anticipated and made its decision about, very clear. in this case, we don’t have any evidence as to what a hypothetical future AI will want. Roko invented some motivations he thought likely: he believed Eliezer Yudkowsky would create the AI eventually, and the AI would wish it were invented sooner, which would have happened if Yudkowsky had more money in the bank. he also apparently believed Yudkowsky would fail to create a ‘friendly’ AI as he intended, since if Yudkowsky had succeeded, the AI would have no inclination to conjure up simulations of random people from the year 2020 just to make them suffer.

I’ve focused on the logic of Roko’s Basilisk, because I think this is the really nasty, toxic, dangerous part of the whole affair. however, the entire thing is dubious. very briefly, I would also add:

the kind of agentive, world-altering AI which Yudkowsky imagines, capable of simulating a human mind and more, is not being approached by current or past ‘AI’ research. psychology and neuroscience are nowhere near understanding how our brains achieve what they do. ‘general’ AI might be possible, after all human brains are possible, but there is no reason to think anyone is on the cusp of creating one.

'intelligence’ is not a variable we can put in a differential equation. there is no good reason to think an ‘improved’ AI would be capable of making an even more ‘improved’ AI. moreover, Yudkowsky’s belief that we can just throw more clock speed at a problem is ignorant of the many difficulties of efficient systems programming for much simpler tasks.

if a ‘superintelligent’ AI existed, current computers strongly suggest the thermodynamic limits it would face are much harsher than LessWrongers presume from one ‘spherical cow in a vacuum’ type calculation. accordingly, its computational resources would be limited. as such, I would strongly expect that it would have little motivation to spend the impossibly extensive resources of simulating the past in enough detail to meaningfully understand an individual person’s thoughts.

quantum information is constantly leaking into space at the speed of light. it may not be possible even in theory to gather the omniscient inputs required to perform an accurate ‘ancestor simulation’.

even if we were to accept every single premise of the basilisk and agree that we must bring the almost-friendly AI into existence sooner to avoid being tortured - there is no reason to think Eliezer Yudkowsky is remotely competent to build an AI of any sort, let alone one capable of iteratively improving itself until it can take over the world.

and to go into the personal ethics of the man who wants to write the ethical law for the universe - the lesswrongers don’t just have weird beliefs, they’re not just insular, these things don’t guarantee evil. but inevitably, prominent members (including Yudkowksy himself) have been involved in acts of sex abuse, which drove a LessWrong member to suicide, and scams. MIRI is more than Yudkowsky, but it is mostly a vehicle to legitimise him and his close friends; none of them should be trusted to so much as run a D&D group.

the dangers of real so-called ‘AI’ are the dangers of human societies finding ‘objective, scientific’ ways to mask human cruelty and power, whether it’s ‘good enough’ facial recognition software in the hands of cops, ‘good enough’ profiling software to launder racism, and the usual paradoxical problems of labour-saving tech under capitalism. this is a constraint to organise against, but it is surely a surmountable one.

feel free to ask about any of this privately or not. i have nothing to do with lesswrong anymore (thank god), but I’m happy for every person I can help to find ways out of their cognitive snares. i just wish I had as helpful things to say against the other cults I’ve run into in my life...