#But thank you for sending in an ask! (also goes for that previous person) i know i dont really say much aside from posting art but-

[wttcsms]

if you feel like falling (catch me on the way down) | TWO

ᝰ.ᐟ after getting your heart broken by professional soccer player, rin itoshi, all because he loved the game more than you, you officially swear off all men — especially athletes. your publicist doesn’t get that memo, though, and you find yourself roped into a fake relationship with yoichi isagi, who isn’t just a pro soccer player, but also your ex’s rival. things could get messy. ( fem!reader )

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pairing yoichi isagi x reader (endgame), past! rin itoshi x reader word count 5.9k chapter synopsis the busier your schedule, the less time you can spend thinking about rin. the only problem is, you see something you can't unsee. nothing a bottle of tequila can't fix, right? (spoiler: tequila isn't fixing a broken heart) chapter contains partying and drinking to cope, diet culture author’s notes i have nothing to insightful to add rn, but send me any asks discussing this fic and i will have a lot to say LOL

From: fumiko.gima@apextalentgroup.com To: [USER EMAIL HIDDEN] Cc: wfitch@everlanefitch.com, mai.sasaki@apextalentgroup.com, hideakitakeda@titansecuritysolutions.com, benji1968@gmail.com + 3 others Subject: 6/19 — [NAME] [SURNAME] AGENDA Attachments: 📎 [6.19 AGENDA.pdf]

All — 

Attached is the PDF copy of [Name]’s itinerary for today. Reminder that these times are STRICT. Stay on schedule. 

Fumiko Gima

Get Outlook for IOS 

Your first alarm goes off at 4:50 AM to what you assume is the noise they play on repeat in hell (By the Seaside, an Apple classic). After waking up, you roll over in your king size bed (the problem with always choosing to go big instead of just going home is the fact that when you’re all alone, the luxury of extra space just becomes empty space) to promptly hit the snooze button. You’ll allow yourself five more minutes of sleep (as a treat). When the second alarm you set up goes off at 4:53 AM (By the Seaside, once again), you scream into your pillow, and shut it off for real this time. You knew you weren’t going to give yourself the full five minutes, but it felt really good to trick yourself into believing that you would. You always start the day with this tiny disappointment; that way, no one has the privilege of being the first person to piss you off. 

At 4:54 AM, you slide your feet into your Ugg slippers, readjust the loose straps of your silk camisole, and shuffle into your marble-floored bathroom. You rub the sleep from your eyes, brush your teeth with your pink electric toothbrush, and wash your face. By the time you’re done with your morning skincare, it’s 5:06 AM. You honestly can’t remember the last time you did your own makeup, but you bring your makeup bag with you anyway. If there’s downtime between shoots, you’ll post a faux-GRWM TikTok where you apply three miniscule dots of concealer on your seemingly already flawless skin and add a fresh layer of the brand new, limited edition Rhode peptide lip treatment that Hailey Bieber’s team gifted you. They also gave you twenty grand to do so, with a personal “hey girlie, would love to catch up with you one of these days!! life has been so hectic, sorry for not keeping in touch x btw, i just came out with a new shade of my…” text from Hailey herself. (You replied back with a “yessss, we need to meet up soon!! Also, LOVE LOVE LOVE the new shade omg 😍” — neither of you have any intention for planning a meet-up, and you don’t “LOVE LOVE LOVE” the new shade as much as you “LOVE LOVE LOVE” to deposit a fat check.) 

You’re sliding into the backseat of the glossy black SUV parked in front of your driveway at 5:14 AM. Your chauffeur, Benji, holds open the door for you. 

“Good morning, Ms. [Surname],” Benji never drops the formalities with you, except for when he’s lecturing you. Thank God he doesn’t own a smartphone; if he saw half the things Daily Mail wrote about you, his voice would be gone from scolding you so much. Even if he’s technically on your parents’ payroll and is paid to make sure you get to and from places safely, it still feels nice to have someone who cares about you enough to call you out on your shit. 

The first stop is an exclusive, members-only pilates studio. If you’re home, you have to work out in the morning, no matter what. You like your routine. Out of all the things online magazines put out about you, it’s kind of embarrassing how the most accurate one is revealing how you stay “fit ‘n flawless even after going out every night.” Most people didn’t believe it. Rin got it, though. Rin would actually work out with you, when the two of your schedules aligned, and— Time to start your workout early! Nothing takes your mind off of matters more than focusing on the burn of your core and arms. 

By the time you finish your private session, you’re walking out the studio with your puffy tote bag slung over your shoulders. Your body is still a bit damp from taking a quick shower but not drying off properly, and Benji drops you off at your first business stop of the day — ELLE Japan.

You smile brightly as the team of makeup artists surrounding you shower you with compliments. One of the girls brushing on your foundation tells you that you have really nice skin. When she goes in for a second layer, you almost consider rescinding the thanks you gave her.

The set is hectic, as expected. No matter how long these people have been in the industry, no matter how big the host is, something always seems to be going wrong. Apparently, there’s been a mishap over in wardrobe, and ELLE’s people are not very happy with how this is going to delay everything. With your hair and makeup done, there’s nothing for you to do besides sit down, be quiet, and look pretty. 

Downtime is the last thing you want. You’re used to a busy schedule, but you convinced Fumiko to accept as many projects as possible. If you have to rank at the top of the list for celebrities who emit the most CO2, then so be it. You’ll pollute the whole damn planet if it means you won’t have a single second to be alone with your thoughts. 

At 9:00 AM sharp, you go on your phone to inform your manager that the agenda is fucked. ELLE Japan is definitely going to push back this session with you for at least a good hour, which means Fumiko is going to have to explain to Your Style (the YouTube channel name for a famous fashion commentator who’s amassed nearly twenty million subscribers) why you’re going to be late for the Zoom debrief on what you two are going to talk about in an upcoming video. At 9:02 AM, you receive a text.

juli ᡣ𐭩: u know i love u 

It’s two in the morning in Paris. When Juliette said she was going to visit her father, she said it was going to be a much-needed vacation — just something chill and lowkey, like going to all the designer stores and eating croissants on a balcony. Those were her exact words. 

juli ᡣ𐭩: [photo attachment] 

Somehow, from the neon strobe lights, bodies pressed against one another’s, and the way the image is blurry because she couldn’t get her phone to focus, it feels like Juliette’s “something chill and lowkey” morphed into club-hopping all over France. You roll your eyes with affection. You should’ve known her vacation was going to turn into this; as if Juliette would eat bread for pleasure — she’s been quoted for claiming that carbs are a necessary evil. She probably hasn’t even touched a croissant for the past week she’s been there.

juli ᡣ𐭩: showing u before TMZ posts it juli ᡣ𐭩: [video attachment] juli ᡣ𐭩: do not freak out. not worth it. juli ᡣ𐭩: ugh i knew this club sucked ass for a reason 

You wait for the video to load. It’s almost as blurry and unfocused as the original image she sent, but you can tell she had to zoom in pretty hard to capture what she wanted. It’s two figures with a minimal amount of space between them. One of them is definitely a girl; she has the build of the usual French models. A thin, leggy brunette who has mastered the intricate art of Just Had Sex hair. Perfectly messy, but could never be considered sloppy. She’s wearing a sparkly, tight minidress. The fabric shimmers when the strobe lights pass by her body. The person she’s practically pressed up against is a man. Tall, lean. He’s leaning down, presumably so he can hear her better. When the video clip ends abruptly (someone bumped into Juliette, and the video ends with shaky footage and a loud “putain!”), you replay it. And replay it. And then you play it again, just for good measure.

Each time you watch the stupid video, you find something new to notice. Her red lips brushing against his ear. The way his hand hovers near her hip. The way you’re certain she’s smiling when she speaks, like the smirk of a victor. The exact same self-satisfied, smug grin you sport whenever you get a guy right where you want him. Upon every rewatch, though, one thing remains the same: you’re constantly fixated on him.

Right now, it’s two in the morning in Paris. You know that when you weren’t in this fucked up headspace you’re in right now, you’d be in bed, snuggled underneath your blankets, by 11:30 PM. You know that when you felt your best, you could be in bed, whispering in the dark to the person you felt safest with, at 10:00 PM (at the latest, because you both would have a busy day ahead and needed the rest). He likes sleeping early because he likes being well-rested. 

So why the hell is Rin Itoshi at a club right now?

At 9:39 AM, ELLE Japan gets right back on track. Before your editorial shoot for a special anniversary edition of the magazine, they get you to sit down to do a video interview that they plan on posting all over their social media. 

“This is a very special edition that will be coming out, and you are not only having the biggest spread dedicated to you, but you’re also going to be on the cover. Knowing this, how are you feeling right now, [Name]? This might be the most high-profile photoshoot you’ve done so far in your career, and that’s saying something. You have quite the impressive resume.” 

The ring lights are shining directly in your eye. The stool they have you sitting on for this interview is uncomfortable, and you have to focus on remaining balanced. Your back is perfectly straight, and your hands are folded in your lap. You blink, and you see the video playing in your mind. You have God knows how much makeup caked on right now, and you still have a long day ahead of you. Rin is at a club right now. Rin is at a club right now, with a girl. Rin is at a club right now, with a girl, and they’re basically grinding against each other, and he might just have forgotten all about you.

You smile brightly. At 9:40 AM in Japan, you let everyone know, 

“I honestly think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been before in my life! This is a great way to establish a sort of, I guess, new era of my life and my career.” 

You turn to face the camera directly, giving them a dazzling view of your pearly whites. “Not trying to rush the process or anything, but I am definitely looking forward to seeing how this will all play out in the future.” 

You’re operating on autopilot for the rest of the day. The ELLE shoot wraps up close to noon. You forgo lunch, but knowing you and your tendency to skip meals, Benji refuses to start the car until you eat the lunch his wife packed for you. It’s light and refreshing — they want you to eat well, but they’re not cruel. Even if they want to bring you a feast of a nice, hot, home cooked meal, you’ll eat it out of obligation and then suffer the consequences on set when everyone asks why you’re so bloated. You don’t even taste what you’re consuming. 

At 12:30 PM, you hop on the Zoom call and pretend to care about discussing matters such as the lack of personal style affecting the younger generations. Every topic is a trivial topic to you. The only thing worth dissecting is that damn video. You should’ve asked those twenty million subscribers to help you analyze that, instead of nodding along when the YouTuber starts going on a rant about how Shein and other fast fashion brands are ruining everything. 

Late in the afternoon, you get another text. 

kenyu: So the team wants to host a belated birthday party for me lmao. Team’s planning on having it at 10 tonight kenyu: Sending you the address right now

A party is exactly what you need right now. Endless drinks, no need for rational thinking, and you’ll be (mostly) surrounded by people who think models are all vain and vapid. No one there is going to expect a decent conversation from you, and with the state you’re in, it’s a wonder how all your sentences are even making sense. 

You give Kenyu’s next message a like in response. You were expecting a club, but when you click on the address, Maps reveals that it’s residential. Rin is gallivanting around European nightclubs, and meanwhile, the best you can do are house parties. This is how the future is playing out? 

At least even at your worst, people still think you’re on top of the world. 

Maybe life without a man dragging you down and invading your space is for the best. After all, once you got done with all your professional obligations, it’s only eight at night. You’re used to going out with whatever makeup they did for you on set at your last shoot of the day, which is a shame. You have shelves full of makeup that’s been sent to you by different brands, and one of these nights, you plan on just messing around at your vanity. 

You like living alone, you decide. You can leave all the lights on if you want, and no one complains about it hurting their eyes. You have full control of the thermostat. You don’t have to fight for counter space in the bathroom. Plus, no one can see how you’re living. 

At 9:13 PM, you’re sprawled on the cool marble floor of your bathroom (squeaky clean thanks to the housekeeper you have come once a week), and instead of rewatching that dreadful video and subsequently crying, you had a quick retail therapy session. Your new Prada heels should be coming within the next two days. 

You don’t get Benji to drive you. Nobody bats an eye at a rich girl having a driver, but it does seem kind of weird to have him drop you off at a party as if you're a tween girl getting taken to the mall. If the house is owned by one of Yukimiya’s teammates, surely it won’t be too awkward if you had to leave it there because you got too drunk to drive yourself back home? 

Because — no offense to Yuki, you’re happy he’s getting another birthday celebration — the whole point of even going to this party is to get fucked up. You already know that Juliette had a point — if not TMZ, then at least Daily Mail will be all over Rin and that girl in the club. If that gets leaked, then you might as well have your own headline to combat his. Sure, lately you’ve been out partying, but that was with other models so it doesn’t raise too many eyebrows. Rin being caught at a club is basically him hard launching the breakup. You need to raise some speculation on your side of things, too. 

you: can you get someone to pick up my car from this address tomorrow morning? you: please :) 

When you see three dots appear, you smile for real. You can practically hear her sigh and see the shake of her head.

Fumiko Gima: Yes. Fumiko Gima: Be safe.

Aw, maybe your manager does have a heart. Right before you can send her a heart, she adds:

Fumiko Gima: Don’t stay out too late. You have your first shoot at 8 AM. 

This is the message you give a heart reaction to. Maybe everything really is just business with her. 

You suppose you can’t fault Fumiko for always seeming cold. She’s your manager, not your best friend. 

In this industry, her honesty is refreshing. You normally find this to be the case, but you really feel it now when you step into the mansion and hear a cacophony of laughter swarming you from all sides. At every turn, there’s a celebrity with a drink in hand. Everyone’s leaning towards each other, as if they’re so captivated with the other’s words. 

You see an actor leading a stumbling model up the spiral staircase. To your side, you see a baseball player chatting up the daughter of one of the baseball league’s board members. Upstairs, someone’s probably snorting a line off Yukimiya’s teammate’s bathroom counter. There are only three reasons why people in your social circle attend these parties: to get fucked, to get fucked up, or to make business deals. Considering the fact that you’ve been here for nearly five minutes and have yet to see a birthday cake — or the belated birthday boy himself — you’re pretty sure everyone here has lot the damn plot for the original celebration.

When you venture some more, you end up in the massive backyard. Some people are drunkenly making out in the pool, some people are watching them, and in a table in the corner, you spot a group of girls giggling and cheering as they all do shots. Perfect. This is exactly where you need to be. 

One’s a model; you’ve seen her on a couple pages you flipped through in Harper’s Bazaar. You go up to the table and give her a bright smile.

“Hey, girl! Or should I say Miss Bazaar?” You greet her like how you think people would tease a friend. She’s not your friend; you don’t even know her name. You know she knows your name — everyone here does. And it’s because of the fact that everyone knows you that she lights up when she realizes you’re speaking to her. 

A photo op with you guarantees that even if the headline coming out tomorrow is centered on you, she’ll still be in the frame. Daily Mail will add a caption naming everybody from left to right, and she’s planning on being the one captured right next to you. 

“[Name]!” She squeals, giving you a quick side hug. “How have you been?”

All your friends, the grand total of exactly two people, know how you’ve been. You grin, pointing to the bottle of tequila they have on their table. 

“After how this day has been, I honestly just need a shot.” You play it off like a joke, and as someone pours you one, you add, “Or maybe like five.” They all giggle before throwing back the tequila straight. They might think you’re joking, but this table full of strangers are the first people you’ve been honest with all day. 

At 12:15 AM, they aren’t strangers anymore. In fact, you think they might be your best friends in the whole world. You don’t know the lyrics to the rap song blaring through the bass boosted speakers, but you’re laughing as you take another shot. The Harper’s Bazaar girl is doing another shot with you, but she has her phone in her other hand. She makes sure that the both of you are in the frame together, and a second later, she’s tagging you in an Instagram story you don’t bother to view. You’re not even following her. 

“Okay, so out of all the guys here, who looks the most fuckable?” One of the girls leans on the table for support as she asks this question. You can’t help but notice how glittery her lipgloss is. Wow, even after all the shots she’s taken, there’s no transfer. Impressive. “I say Theo Sachs.” 

“Who the fuck is Theo Sachs?” Harper’s Bazaar asks, and the whole entire table giggles. Honestly, at parties like these, laughing comes easy. In fact, you’re giggling right with them, even though you also have no fucking clue who Theo is. There’s just something so freeing in tequila-induced joy. 

“Um, the host of this party?” Glittery Lipgloss says. “Oh my God, girl, he’s like, one of the players for Bastard.” 

“The fuck is Bastard?” Another girl asks, adjusting her blue minidress. 

“The soccer team!” Glittery Lipgloss is too drunk to be fed up, but you’re sure she would be rolling her eyes if she could. 

“I didn’t know we had soccer players here. I only saw baseball players.” Blue Minidress frowns, before adding, “I would totally fuck one of the baseball boys, though. No preference whatsoever. Matter of fact, I could take the whole team.” 

Harper’s Bazaar laughs. “What about you, [Name]? Who are you taking home tonight?” 

Before you can think of something to say, Glittery Lipgloss groans. “Oh my God, she has a boyfriend.” She looks at you for confirmation. You don’t give her any, but thankfully Blue Minidress has her own insight to add to this conversation. 

“So what the fuck does that have to do with her question? [Name], who are you taking home tonight?” 

Nobody. Out of every party you’ve gone to this past month, you went back home, completely and utterly alone each and every time. It’s not even because nobody offered — they have — but because no matter how lonely you may get or feel, you don’t like strangers in your space. It took you three months of dating Rin to let him into the penthouse you were originally staying in, and that was with you being in love with him. 

Once again, you’re saved from answering when someone behind you goes, “[Name]?” 

You turn around, only to come face to face with Yoichi Isagi. On second thought, maybe this isn’t the rescue you thought it was. Drunk You can’t hold back your frown when you see him. He’s wearing a dark blue polo shirt and chinos. He looks perfectly business casual and could pass off as an off-the-clock investment banker instead of the world class athlete you’ve heard he is. Then you let out a little snort of laughter, which only makes him look more confused. You don’t want to tell him that it’s kind of funny how normal he looks. 

Not in a bad way. You’re surrounded by models for practically the whole day. Looking unattainably hot or having ethereal beauty is the one non-negotiable job requirement. Even Rin, with his stupidly long lower lashes and impossibly high cheekbones and his pretty boy resting sulking face, is serving standards some male models can’t achieve. Isagi looks like the type of guy you would have a crush on if the two of you were completely normal and attended regular high school together. 

But that’s not the reality you’re living in. Right now, you’re getting drunk with girls you don’t know, and every night, you’re making headlines. He’s a professional athlete that everyone at this table would gladly fuck just for a chance to be declared social media’s favorite WAG of the Week. The both of you could have your pick of anyone at this party, but you refuse to let anyone in, and you think Isagi might be one of those intense athletes who only care about their sport.

If that’s the case, he’s doing every girl a favor by not pretending he can commit to anything but soccer. You know someone who could use a few pointers. 

“Hi,” you mumble, and then you want to slap yourself because why the fuck are you acting like you’re nervous? But for some reason, you feel like you're a kid caught with their grimy hand in the cookie jar, like you’re doing something wrong.

“I didn’t know you’d be here.” 

“Well, it’s Kenny’s birthday party. Of course, I’d be here.” You cross your arms against your chest, feeling like you have something to prove. Before Yukimiya became his teammate, Kenyu was your friend first. Like, real friend, not just someone you leave supportive comments on their Instagram post type of friend. 

Isagi actually smiles when he hears that. “Funny. I think everyone but Yukimiya actually wants to be here.” 

You sober up a bit when you hear that. “Yeah, I couldn’t find him anywhere.” Not that you looked very hard. The minute you found this table of girls, you didn’t bother exploring the rest of the mansion. 

“He was upstairs with some of the guys. You know that he, uh, doesn’t really like these types of parties.” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“You don’t seem like the type to like these parties either.” If he was anyone else, you’d be saying this to flirt. You’re honestly not sure what your intention behind this comment was, either. You’re too drunk to decide if you wanted it to be an insult (some way to defend Yukimiya’s behavior?) or just you trying to make conversation for once (you’re not normally one for small talk). 

“Caught me.” Isagi smiles easily. From now and thinking back to Yukimiya’s birthday lunch, Isagi is rarely not smiling. You wonder if he means it. Surrounded by people who only let you drink with them because being seen with you elevates their own status, you decide that the answer to that is a probably not. “I was about to head out before I thought I saw you, and I wanted to come by and…” For a second, he pauses to choose the right words to say. “Just wanted to see if it really was you.”

“Well, you saw me. Guess your business is done here.” Then you swiftly turn your back to him, as if to abruptly end the conversation. Instead, you’re drunker than you realize, and your heel ends up being wedged deeper into the grass than you expected, and you lose your balance. You think you might fall, which would be so embarrassing, but maybe not as embarrassing as what actually ends up happening.

What actually ends up happening is that Isagi is quick to wrap his arm around your abdomen, pulling you close to him as he attempts to keep you steady and upright. The girls looked shocked, but then they burst into another round of giggles, and since you’re not joining in the laughter, all you can think about is how annoying they are. You squirm around in his grasp, ignoring the whiff of fresh laundry you get from being all up in his personal space (not by choice!!!; he’s the one that pulled you in, after all!), and he releases you. 

“Are you feeling okay?” He asks you. It’s hard to glare at him when he looks so genuinely concerned. 

“Never better.” 

“Do you have a ride home?” 

What does it matter to you? Is what you want to say. 

“I’ll call an Uber.” You lie, hoping that this will end the conversation once and for all. Seriously, Isagi just killed the whole vibe of the party for you. You want to go back to drinking. 

“But I thought you didn’t do Ubers.” When Isagi calls you out on your bullshit, you soften momentarily. You almost forgot that he heard about your weird thing of having strangers know your home address. Then, you go back to giving him the cold shoulder. Sometimes, it’s a warm and gooey feeling to be known. Right now, you want to drown your sorrows in tequila and be showered with fake affection by girls who probably don’t even like you sober. You didn’t come to this party to be known. You came here for revenge. 

(You’re not going to acknowledge how drinking your sadness away isn’t necessarily showing up Rin, but for nearly an hour straight, you hadn’t thought about him, and that’s good enough.) 

When you have no response to that (wit doesn’t come easy when you’re in the condition you’re in right now), Isagi looks at you imploringly. 

“Let me take you home.” 

You shake your head childishly, almost saying nuh-uh. “Just because you don’t like this party doesn’t mean I don’t like it. I’m staying right here.” 

He finally frowns. “Fine. I’ll wait for you to finish up here, then I’ll take you home.”

“I’m with my friends right now. Leave me alone.” 

He raises an eyebrow. “Really? Which friend is going to make sure you get home safely? Yukimiya already left early.” Despite the two of you not knowing what the other is thinking, you both give wry smiles about that statement for the same reason. The party is still going on strong, despite the guest of honor not wanting to show his face and leaving early. 

“These are my best friends.” You gesture to the trio of girls you know nothing about, besides the fact that they can keep up with your drinking habits. They all smile at Isagi, who waves back before turning his attention back to you.

“Really?” He asks. “What’re their names again?”

No one has anything to say to that, especially you. When the silence gets too awkward, Isagi clears his throat and also puts his foot down.

“I’m taking you home, [Name].” 

You look at the trio of strangers you just spent hours with. Harper’s Bazaar shrugs, and the other two look away. The sting of not knowing who they are, despite them obviously having enough notoriety to be invited, makes your “best friends” not your friends anymore. Whatever. 

“Fine.” You grumble, following Isagi to his car. 

“Did you have fun tonight?” Is what he asks you as he signals to make a turn. The clicking of the turn signal is the only thing that fills the silence in the car. 

No. 

Sometimes, it’s fun in the moment, but that’s only when you’re drunk enough to trick yourself into thinking you’re having a good time. You’re more like Yukimiya (and — gross — Isagi) than they know; the whole “It Girl dominates the party scene” vibe you’ve got going on… It’s just bullshit that your PR team mixes together to get people talking. The high of being adored by everyone in a room vanishes almost immediately the minute you go home and wash off your makeup. In the bright lights of your bathroom, you stare at the sad, lonely girl in the mirror. It’s too dark outside for you to see anything out the window, but you lean your head against the cool glass, and before you know it, you’re waking up…

To Isagi groping you?

You’re groggy and confused and trying to blink the sleepiness out of your eyes, but Yoichi Isagi is definitely all up on you. You’re shocked, honestly. He looks like such a sweet guy! No wonder he was so pushy in getting you home.

He’s holding you in some awkward side hug, and he’s patting down your waist, trying to slip his fingers through the fabric of your dress, and finally, because he must be a novice-level pervert who doesn’t know the first thing about female anatomy, you speak up. 

“Gross! You can’t even feel up a girl properly! No wonder you take advantage of drunk, vulnerable girls!” 

“Ah!” He jerks back, shocked that you’re awake. Serves the pervert right. He should be backing up. You took a month of kickboxing classes (your modeling agency thought it would be the next big thing, since all the Victoria Secret models kickbox — they were wrong). “I-I wasn’t feeling you up!” 

“Then why were your hands all over me?” 

“I was looking for your key! You were asleep, and you looked like you needed it, so I just carried you to your door, but it’s locked.”

Oh. Likely story. You’re not letting him off the hook just yet. 

“Obviously my front door would be locked, dumbass. Who doesn’t lock their house?” You point to the perfectly trimmed hedges by your door. “Key’s in the bushes.”

Since you’re making no moves to get down on your knees and rifle through the bushes, Isagi sighs and does it himself. When he holds up the key, you nod in thanks, take it, and then proceed to unlock the door using your fingerprint. 

He blinks. “What?” 

“What?” You repeat back, innocently. 

“You didn’t even need the key to unlock the door!”

“Yes, Isagi. Modern technology is something, isn’t it?” And because you feel kind of bad, you offer him the chance to wash up before driving back. 

“You’re really something, you know that?” Isagi says from the kitchen sink. You’re sitting on a stool by the counter.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s nothing bad.” He clarifies. “It’s just… Rin’s a pretty private person. We always wondered what his girlfriend must be like. Sorry.” He shuts off the faucet, dries his hands. “Ex-girlfriend, I guess.”

“How do you know that?” You’ve been racking your brain, wondering if Yuki spilled your secret accidentally. Or — even worse — Rin himself confirmed it. Rin never even told anyone explicitly that the two of you were dating, so it’s not plausible that he would go blab about the breakup. 

“Well, I didn’t really know for sure until I drove you home that first time.” He admits. “I just thought you made a weird face when I mentioned Rin during lunch, and then you started acting funny afterwards. Just had a hunch, that’s all.” 

Great. So, Isagi, who’s basically a stranger to you, could read you to filth. Is there anyone else that you haven’t been fooling? How embarrassing. Being perceived sucks. 

You don’t say anything else. You can hear Isagi mumbling about something, and you make a half-hearted noise in reply, but you’re sleepy and drunk and coming to the realization that you can’t keep fooling everyone around for long. There’s no point in dancing around the topic of your breakup. It’s getting tiring, anyway. 

It is pretty exhausting to be pining after someone who’s not coming back. 

Because that’s why you’re trying so hard to keep the breakup a secret. Partly for pride, but mostly because… You’re hoping that after learning everything there is to know about you, Rin Itoshi wouldn’t go so far to cut you so deeply by leaving you. Right? He understood your level of loneliness like no one else, and he related to it. For the first time in both of your lives, the two of you suddenly found the right person to fill in all the empty spaces. 

And then he left, and the emptiness just continues to grow in infinite amounts.

You groan as you move around, only to find that you’re moving on top of your bed. You’re tucked into your sheets, and your hair is splayed across your pillow. You turn your head and see a shadowy figure exiting out your bedroom door.

“You’re leaving, too?” 

Your throat is dry, and the words come out small. You hate this feeling of hopelessness and vulnerability, and the figure pauses in his steps. 

He hushes you gently. “You should go to sleep. You’ve had a long night.” 

“Fine. Don’t stay. I don’t care.” You burrow yourself further into your blankets. 

“Do you really want me to stay?” 

At one in the morning, covered in the darkness of your bedroom, you turn every shadow into Rin Itoshi. You don’t know what you mumble in response, but you know that whatever you said, it’s directed towards him.

[zan0tix]

Do you have thoughts about Dirk and Jake's relationship in canon? I am not anti dirkjake but I do have a hard time understanding the ship and why it's so massively popular. /gen (I have not yet read the epilogues so I'm just working off of whats in the comic)

Oh boy. DO I. Im currently working on a powerpoint presentation thatll be a little guide/recap/compilation.. thing about them whilst im reading act 6 and ill post it whenever i finish rereading the comic and writing all my notes! It will go into all the little bits of dialogue about eachother or narrative ties to certain things and such and such. (Will probably post this some time in the next two months or three. no guarantees)

But! The portrayal of their relationship and who they are and their struggles felt so real to me and it constantly astounds me that theres a fictional character who accurately displayed my own struggles in such a sincere way i feel like im getting put on blast when people psychoanalyise jake english orz

Homestucks character writing and thematic paralleling are some of its best assets and dirkjake are FULL of some of homestucks greatest moments of both. I would say that this post from @/tomatograter goes more into detail about those said moments and also alot of the other reasons i like them! And what they said in this post was true!-

-Theres just so much you can explore in homestuck through their relationship and aaaguh i love it i love it and theyre so important to the overall narrative and its just so nice to see openly gay rep that is as realistic and honest as them in a story like homestuck.

Being a teenager myself coming of age stories are the stories i relate to and find captivating the most right now and i dont think ive seen another piece of media go about its teen characters the way homestuck did. Its got problems on the handling of said characters but i dont think ive read anything else as raw and honest about personal issues teens face growing up and how they affect relationships (of all kinds!) and dirkjake are a big part of that for me!

I dont really like majority of fanon interpretations of dirkjake i wont lie (alot of.. flanderisation and blatant mischaracterisation) i dont really keep track of fandom stuff or ship popularity i just like enjoying what i enjoy and drawing things and talking about it with friends haha

And i have not read the epilogues either! i know the gist of the events in each timeline and i read a couple chapters but that was like years ago at this point and i dont think i will ever attempt to read them or homestuck^2. Some of the ideas that were present couldve been interesting but i honestly have no interest in going anywhere near it from what ive read about it. It sounds like a total shitshow and its not required to enjoy homestuck proper anyway so ¯_(ツ)_/¯

But!! if youd like to hear more about dirkjake in canon id totally reccomend tomatograter's other posts on them!!! his analysis was the thing that made me Really interested homestuck and hehe im grateful because now im here. This post has alot more of his meta commentary about them and theyre all really interesting reads :D

[daisygirlwrites]

Task Force 141 + Reader (Callsign-Crash): friendship headcanons

a/n: Hello hello! Just some random headcanons that I had written down for Crash and her relationships with the members of the 141 team. Nothing romantic, just some wholesome stuff.

original gif by @collinnmckinley

also, this is really freaking long, sorry in advance. enjoy reading! 

Before getting thrown out the window and getting her callsign, she was quiet and shy around the group. Opting to listen to others conversations, rarely adding to it.

Honestly intimidated with how tightly knit the team is, and given her previous team’s history, she was scared to get close.

Volunteered to be the DD whenever the group goes out to a bar. Fortunately, most of the time, Ghost is sober(enough) to help her get everyone into the car and into their rooms

Would silently comfort Soap and Gaz whenever they threw up, rubbing their backs and getting them water.

In the mornings after, she got everyone a breakfast burrito. Soap and Gaz are eternally grateful. Got a little information about her when they asked why she got them food. “Help with my hangovers during college.” Soap and Gaz gave each other a look as she walks away

After the window incident, Crash becomes a lot more open. Seeing how they treat her as if she has been with them for years, it wasn’t fair to them with how closed off she was.

Soap:

He talks to you a lot and you don’t mind. He just comes out and starts rambling on whatever he has interested him at that moment. You don’t really say anything, just sitting there awkwardly (because why would he want to talk to the newbie instead of his friends) but nodding to what he says anyways. One time though, he looks at you and says “Thanks for listening to me. It’s nice to have someone not tell me to ‘Shut the fuck up Mactavish.’”

Literally you after he tells you this:

“you’re my friend now. we’re having soft tacos later” vibes

Would send him memes and funny videos whenever you guys are on leave

His contact name on your phone is “Bubbles”

Would show you how to make bombs out of random shit. Set them off in bare fields or abandon buildings. Had a couple close calls

Will let you call him Johnny but you call him Mac instead.

“Aww, why not, lassie?”

“I’d rather not get my ass beat by your boyfriend.”

Calls you Lassie along with your callsign. When he wants to piss you off, he calls you Mini Ghost or Little Ghost

Like Ghost, you rarely take off your balaclava and tactical glasses

“The mask, take it off.”

“Nah, I don’t wanna.”

“You ugly?”

“Not as ugly as you old man.”

Has yet to seen you drunk though and he intends to get you there some day

Holds his hand when he’s throwing up

You would use him as a pillow during rides back to the base

The first person to tell him about any drama that’s happening in your life

Gives you advice about men

"Men are stupid, trust me, I am one."

Loves it when you would go on ramblings about the things you like. Anime confuses the hell out of him but he would always ask you about the plot and your favorite characters. He’d ask you about the current artist you listen to and has a list of recommendations from you so he could look them up when he gets home

After a mission gone wrong and believing that it was his fault, you seek him out, finding him sitting alone in the meeting room. You tell him

“It’s going to be okay. I trust you, John.”

He tears up and you wrap your arms around him.

Gaz:

With you two being the youngest, you bond over similar experiences

Sometimes share exactly one brain cell with each other. Sometimes you, Gaz and Soap share a brain cell

Brings out the chaotic gen z energy of each other

Your guys’ energy:

Follows each other on social media and would send each other tiktoks at ungodly hours

Kind of have a competition against each other to see who’s Price’s favorite child is

Gaz finally has someone who he can talk about anime with

Favorite shows to watch together: Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Champloo  and Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

Similar music taste. The whole team listens to Queen, David Bowie, Pink Floyd and a few more others. However, Gaz and Crash have the same love of rap and indie pop. Anything they find on tiktok will be added to their shared Spotify playlist.

Gaz would ask about how college was like. He thought about going but ultimately for him, the military was the better option

“Were you part of a sorority?”

“Oh hell no. Loved going to the parties though. Always had top shelf vodka.”

“Really? Thought students couldn’t afford it.”

“When it comes to alcohol, we find a way.”

Share the same sentiment of feeling like they’re not doing enough in the team. After a particularly rough mission, you two would find a corner and just sit together in silence.

Would break the silence by quoting something from vine or tiktok and all things would be okay again

Price:

He has adoption papers ready

Crash, despite your name, is polite, respectful and responsible. Would always help Price clean up after meetings and briefs

Same with Soap, you would listen quietly to Price’s war stories and even his favorite fishing trips

Saw in your file about what happened to your old team and captain. Vows to never pull the same stunt as them

Sadden to see how you’re so young and has seen and dealt with many things already. It breaks his heart that there’s more that you’ll experience. 

You, Soap and Gaz would do dumb shit all the time but you knew when it was the right time to bail. Of course, they would snitch on you to Price. You’d rarely get in trouble though

Basically you two:

Would gift him cigars from the countries you’d visit during leave

Also a matching set of torch lighters. His has a special green flame while yours is pink. 

You don’t smoke anymore but you would hangout with him and help him finish reports together.

Price often thinks about a life where he didn’t join the military. A life of normalcy. To go to a home filled with life. 

Would have loved to have kids and technically, he still can but his job makes it almost impossible. 

But with Gaz and now you, you two are his pride and joy.

Would be the “hip” dad and will always ask about the new slang and memes

“This food is-what you kids call it...uh, busting!”

You and Gaz look at each other, “It’s bussin’.”

“This food is bussin’!”

Ghost:

Did not to want to get close to you at all. 

Was honestly peeved when Price told him that he was going to mentor you

“I don’t want to play babysitter, Captain.”

Surprised to see how short you were. All of the rumors and information he was told, they never mention your size

At first, he hated how you would follow him around like a lost puppy. 

“Leave me alone, go bother Soap or something.”

Doesn’t miss the flash of hurt in your eyes but you turn around anyways.

Before you joined, he, Price and Laswell were all sitting in Price’s office, his phone on speaker. He was reading over your file before Price’s contact said

“She reminds me of Ghost when I worked with him seven years ago.”

He looks up from the folder, Price’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise and Laswell nodding.

“I think we’ll have her transferred to us,” Price replies.

Hates to admit but he’s impressed. Thought the rumors was bullshit but you proved him wrong, time and time again

You still have a lot of things to learn and even more practice to do but he believes in you

Does not go easy. He’s merciless. Has put you down countless times and reprimanded you more. You would always leave training sessions with a new bruise. The rest of the team gets concerned with his training methods.

But you still get up and you blink away the tears whenever he shouts at you

At about five months after you joined, on a mission, you spot an enemy behind him before he does and without a word, you quickly take your knife out and throw it towards the man behind him. 

He opens his mouth to yell at you but he sees the enemy on the corner of his eye and watch him slump down. Your knife stuck in his bleeding neck

Gives you a nod after that. Pulling out your knife and handing it back to you

Knife throwing would be one of the training sessions you’d do. It was also a good time for some small chat

Finds out that you’re also a part of the “Dead Mom, Shitty Dad” club

It takes a year for him to SLIGHTLY open up to you

Told you about one of his favorite dishes his mom made and his favorite Queen song was ‘You’re My Best Friend’

Even told you how he likes his Earl Grey prepared

It scares him of how much you remind him of his mom and brother. You have her kindness and his determination. He will never tell you this

You, along with the team, become the very thing he cares about and will protect you to the best of his ability.

Bonus:

[isadollie]

hi anne! i wanted to request boyfie x fem!reader headcanons for daichi and kuroo from haikyuu?

btw loved your recent bokuto hubby drabble 🥺 you've really blessed us 🥺 i wanted to include bokuto for the ask but you wrote him so well in that drabble! 🤧 you can still include him in this request if you'd like 👀 might be fun hehe 🤭

thank you! 🤍🤍

boyfriend! daichi, kuroo, bokuto headcanons (separate)

★ hello anon! tysm for requesting<3

★ and omgg, i'm so happy you liked my little bokuto drabble! 🥹🥹 i included him in the headcanons here as well cause it's never too much bokuto am i right or am i right

♡ DAICHI SAWAMURA

★ super protective like omg

★ i feel like he loves to hold hands at all times

★ the sidewalk rule.

★ is veryy serious about your relationship

★ already plans your future together and loves to talk about it

★ always asks for your opinion though

★ "my love, when we get married, do you want to get a cat? a dog? maybe a hamster?"

★ can be a bit too serious sometimes tbh

★ like, when you guys are out with friends, sometimes you have to nugde him and be like "that person was joking btw" cause he just doesn't get itttt

★ that type of man that your family would love

★ might get late to the meeting with your family and then enter with a cute smile and be like "i'm so sorry, i met an elder lady on my way and i had to help her with grocery shopping"

★ he's that type to read every single book you said you liked, and watch all your favorite movies

★ always insists to pay for everything

★ acts of service allll the way

★ will stop in the middle of your walk to kneel down and tie your shoe

★ loves to show you off in front of his teammates

★ ALSO OMG imagine you two go shopping cause you wanted to get some new makeup supplies

★ he'll carry your cart and when you want to see how would a lipstick, eyeshadow or anything else look on skin, he offers you his hand so you can try out all the shades on him hehe

★ and then when you two walk out of the store both of his hands are covered in blush, lipsticks and other stuff but he doesn't care tbh

★ (now i kinda want to write a drabble abt it)

★ (let me know if i should)

♡ KUROO TETSURO

★ would probably do anything you asked of him tbh

★ he's that type of boyfriend to also be your bestie ykwim

★ "they broke up?? no way! give me all the details rn"

★ skincare routine is his favourite activity with you, he's just so glad you got him into that

★ then he goes to practice and talks to his teammates like "don't you guys see how i'm GLOWING??"

★ pretty random but i hc that he can fall asleep literally anywhere and that he loves naps

★ kinda... like a cat...

★ and oh he SNORES

★ loves to tease you sm

★ especially abt your height, let's be honest

★ asks how's the weather down there and thinks he's funny

★ i feel like he really cares about kenma's approval of your relationship

★ introducing u to kenma was more important for him than introducing you to his family atp 💀

★ so stressed abt it too it's honestly funny

★ but kenma said you seem cool so kuroo can already go look for a ring

★ sends you reels of cats cuddling and says "us"

★ loves to carry you and always looks for an excuse to do so

★ would switch his shoes with yours when your legs start to hurt

★ looks good in your heels and i'm telling you, he walks in them better than u do

★ just smirks and says that he can teach you to be better lol

♡ BOKUTO KOTARO

★ lowkey an introvert's nightmare

★ probably took ages to confess tho

★ cause he's just too afraid to mess up, and he doesn't want to ruin your friendship:(

★ asked akaashi to help confess

★ also, asks akaashi with help with ANYTHING

★ like in my head, bokuto doesn't really have any previous relationship experience

★ so he doesn't really know what to do sometimes and you're very important to him so he wants to do everything right

★ therefore he asks akaashi for help. all the time. all. the. time.

★ like let my man akaashi rest 😭

★ asks him what to get you for your birthday, how to apologize after a fight, anything you can think of tbh

★ so clingy, the definition of clingy actually

★ wants to hang out 24/7

★ if you asked him to move in with you on the very same day you two started dating, he'd agree without hesitation

★ also texts you whenever you can't meet up

★ sends the most random shit, especially on tiktok and ig

★ he's that type to, when he plays a match, before he makes a serve, points at you and is like "this one's for you" and then completely misses

★ will talk your ear off

★ says the cutest things when he's sleepy

★ he'll just cuddle up to you and start rambling abt how much he loves you

[jihyoruri]

❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ 𓍢 CHANEL GIRLFRIENDS kim minji x fem!reader

🎸★ ͘ ⴰ yn of lesserafim and minji of new jeans, both are ambassadors of the worldwide known luxury brand chanel, they’re also known as the chanel girlfriends.

a series of short oneshots and compilations that convinced the world that the “chanel girlfriends” are definitely not just two girls who are friends.

PARING — kim minji x lsrfm!reader

all mine

previous. masterlist. next

minji knocked the door of the lesserafim dorms, she waits patiently until the door opens to reveal sakura with chaewon peeking behind her to see who’s at the door.

before minji can open her mouth she’s cut off by the japanese girl, “yn?” which causes the girl to nod in embarrassment as they let her in.

“she’s in her room.” chaewon adds, pointing the down the hall, minji nods before thanking them and heading towards yn’s room.

“keep the door open!” both girls yell behind girl.

minji sends them a thumbs up from behind her and heads towards yn’s door.

she opens the door without knocking and finds yn on her bed with her face in her phone, she walks towards the girl not forgetting to keep the door open.

yn looks up from her phone and a smile immediately makes its way to her face when she sees the new jeans member, “ah! you’re here come lay down with me.”

“oh also close the door i hate when it’s wide open.” she adds only for minji to shake her head, “they said to keep it open.” she says as she lays down beside yn who groans in annoyance.

“so annoying.” yn mumbles to herself as minji laughs, she opens her mouth to say something but is cut off by the multiple dings of yn’s phone.

she watches as the girl picks up her phone and starts typing, she tries to look at what it was but yn has that stupid privacy screen protector due to her nosey members was her reasoning.

minji watches as yn lets out an embarrassed laugh at her phone, the laugh that she always does when someone teases her, she raises a brow and puts her chin on yn’s shoulder.

“who are you talking to?”

“my mc partner for the award show.” yn responds nonchalantly, “remember, he’s an actor you probably don’t know him.”

“oh,” minji digs her face into yn’s neck to get a better look at the phone and immediately scowls at the flirty texts that the actor as been sending to her girlfriend, but it seems like yn wasn’t picking up on any of the hints.

“can you pay attention to me now?” she asks nudging yn who laughs and turns off her phone.

“you’re so obsessed with me.” yn says teasingly as she wraps her arms round minji, her phone dings again but before she could reach over to it minji grabs her hands, “don’t you even dare.”

🎸★ ͘ ⴰ

minji tried her best to keep her composure she really did, but it’s hard when your girlfriends mc partner doesn’t know the meaning of personal space.

she clenched her fists as the man passed a flirty comment to you that had everyone in the crowd gasping and laughing.

everyone besides minji.

“you look like you’re gonna burn him alive.” hanni whispered to the girl who nodded her head, “I just might…”

“minji!” hanni gasps hitting the girl’s shoulder.

“what?”

“you can’t expect someone who doesn’t know yn is in a relationship to not flirt with her, that girl is a total heartthrob.” hanni says knowingly, “hell I would try it with her if I could.” she adds earning a glare from minji.

“plus, yn loves you and is super loyal do you really think she’s gonna leave you for him out of all people? she’s all yours.”

“yeah…” minji trails off, “she is all mine..”

the award show goes on with another dreadful hour and minji just is just happy it’s finally over, immediately parting from her members to find yn and boy when she does.

minji pauses when she finds her girlfriend leaning against the wall outside of lesserafims changing room with her mc partner talking her ear off.

before minji can even comprehend what she’s doing she walks over to yn like she’s on a mission.

“babe!” she says loudly, startling the two mcs, minji takes notice of yn’s shocked face when she puts her arm around her shoulder, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

yn just stares at the girl in shock, nobody but their members know about their relationship so seeing minji act like this was definitely a shock to the girl.

“did i interrupt something?” mini asks looking at yn who just shakes her head rapidly.

“n-no not at all.” she stuttered out before gesturing to in front of her, “this was my mc partner of course, he was just telling me how good I did.”

“ahhh,” minji says pretending that she was interested but she couldn’t care less about what he was talking about all she wanted was him away from her girlfriend.

“Im-”

“would you look at the time,” minji cuts him off pointing to his watch, “you should probably get going, everyone is heading out now.”

“I was actually going to offer to drop yn off, see if it’s okay with her members.” he says and minji narrows her eyes.

can’t he catch a hint? what does she have to do? kiss yn in front of him? she was really considering it at this point

“no need.” she says before yn could even respond, she removes her arm from yn’s shoulder and interlocks your hands together before opening the lesserafim dressing room pulling yn in with her and shutting the door in his face.

yn looks at minji in shock as the five girls snap their heads towards them.

“hi?” yunjin says looking mostly at her members girlfriend.

minji bows politely before dragging yn with her and sitting in one of the couches, pulling yn into her lap.

chaewon stiffened at that but sakura just turned the leaders body away from the younger couple.

minji rests her chin on yn’s shoulder while she relaxes finally feeling at ease after pulling away yn from her biggest nightmare.

“what was that?” yn asks leaning into the girl.

“what was what?” minji responds but is only met with an unimpressed look from as she shifts her body to look at minji.

she lets out deep sigh and looks off to the side, “I didn’t like how he was acting with you, the constant texting and the flirting,” she blurts out, “and don’t even get me started on how I literally called you babe and he didn’t care and continued to ask to leave here with you!” she rambles on.

“it’s like he couldn’t take a hint!” she finishes before looking at yn who only had a smile on her face.

“what?”

“you’re so cute!” yn coos pinching the girls cheeks causing minji to scrunch her face up, “stop!”

“who knew the kim minji gets jealous?” she teases, “or were you just good at hiding it until now?”

she was good at hiding it until now.

“shut up.”

“you don’t have your worry, I’m all yours.” yn says pressing a kiss to the girls cheek awfully close to lips since she knew she couldn’t kiss minji on the lips, not with chaewon in the room she’d probably kick the new jeans member out the room.

“I know.” minji mumbles, turning yn’s body back around and pulling her closer on her lap, “just wanted to make it known to him.” she adds still pissed and yn takes notice of that.

“how about, I convince chaewon and sakura unnie to let you sleep over?”

“but then we’ll just be sleeping in the living room like always with eunchae since she’s always forced to stay with us.”

“we’ll just so what we always do,” yn says like it’s obvious, “pay eunchae and the sneak into my room.”

“WHAT?!”

both girls snap their heads towards chaewon who has her hands clenched.

yn nervously stands from minji’s lap walking over to yunjin so she could hid behind the older girl.

“nope, this is your mess.” the girl laughs moving away from yn who whines and moves to sakura who laughs and wraps her arms around yn.

“chaewon unnie, i was joking.” yn laughs nervously pushing her face into sakura before looking at minji who has stood up from her seat.

“I should probably go…” she trails off not daring to look at chaewon whose eyes are burning into her head.

“see you later,” she says to yn before quickly walking out the room and shutting the door as chaewon yells, “you are not seeing her for a week!”

[makochi-furin]

Hii hii! I hope your doing okay today or tonight, I was wondering if you could write something for dazai (idm if it’s scenario, hc or mix of it and if you add another character you really want to write about).

The request basically is; a reader who finally told Dazai about their past abuser, how they got away with no consequences (who reader mentioned seeing sometimes in the city) and later said abuser goes to the agency on behalf their company to investigate missing items.

Stuff like this is really comforting for me so thank you if you do it :D I hope I put in enough detail for you to work with.

DAZAI AND CONSEQUENCES

A/N: baby, I’m so sorry, but this is long asf and I got a lil carried away💀 I’m also sorry it took a bit to get out. I work in a nursery, so I work 12 hours shifts, and this got to me slam in the middle of my first one (out of three in a row). If this isn’t what you wanted, you can send me in another ask :) But I hope you like it

WARNING(s): reader was in a physically abusive relationship in the past, mentions of PTSD, canon-typical violence, mentions of panic attacks, pissed off dazai, reader is a girl

—I'm gonna assume this is like a pt. 2 of this writing, but it can stand alone, too :)

—We all know Dazai is megamind over here. He sees EVERYTHING. Nothing goes unnoticed by him (which you probably find a little annoying, tbh, but oh, well). It's especially annoying when he knows things about you that you don't necessarily want him to know

—HOWEVER, if it's something that you physically and emotionally feel like you cannot talk about, like it brings you distress and discomfort, he's very unlikely to push you about it. Let's be honest, this man's probably never even told you the name of his parents. You don't even know if Dazai Osamu IS his real name, so he knows he hasn't got room to talk

—I feel like if Dazai noticed something about your mannerisms, or the way you act that very obviously speaks to past trauma, he'd ask you about it, like in my previous writing. If you're unable or unwilling to talk about it, he drops it. He SO desperately wants to know, but he cares for you too much to put you in any sort of emotional distress by pushing it

—When you do decide to open up to him, he's all ears. He knows how hard it is to speak about the shadows of your past, and he honestly is just so flattered that you trust him (he can't believe it, lmao. Like, three people in his life truly trust him) enough to tell him about it

—You were sitting on the edge of the bathtub in Osamu's apartment, absently watching him comb through his wet hair. The two of you had showered together, and you couldn't help but notice over the months of your relationship how much he had changed.

Osamu was flighty at first, and very distrustful. He wasn't a fan of placing himself in vulnerable positions. Not just to you, but to anyone. Yet, when you'd gently brought up his lack of self care, and how it made you sad to see the person you loved think so little of themselves, a change happened.

You helped, of course. At first, you reminded him to brush his teeth when he forgot, and then you began combing his hair. You'd point out when it was time to change his bandages, and call him to bed at an acceptable time because you knew he'd just stay up until the early hours of the morning (if he slept at all). Together, you two had even begun cooking meals, and he'd started to fill out a little bit.

Now, he made sure to do all of those things, even if you didn't remind him/cook with him, because he felt better, yes, but also because he could see how happy it made you.

He was still suffering from chronic depression, of course. You knew you couldn't fix that, and were thinking about gently bringing up a therapist to him, but he had gotten so much better. Even his coworkers noticed it.

Osamu dragged a comb through his brown waves, eyes narrowed as he focused intently on it. It meant so much to you. How could he not focus on it?

You knew it, too. He would've never made these changes for himself, but he had begun to trust that you had his best interest at heart. A few weeks ago, he'd even opened up about some of his own traumas surrounding Mori and the Port Mafia, about his best friend, Oda Sakunosuke.

Osamu trusted you.

That was why it felt so wrong to keep your own past from him, because he was finally starting to open up. You feared if you didn't return the favor, he'd wilt again. More so, you'd recently been catching yourself let parts of the story slip. Subconsciously, you wanted so badly to tell him.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" He asked lightly, brown eyes sparkling with so much affection that it had your breath catching. Osamu was watching you from the mirror.

You blinked, realizing you'd been out of it for a moment, lost in thought. In your lap, you fiddled with your fingers. Part of you wanted to shut down as your heart plummeted at the thought of reliving the worst of it...

But the way he looked at you, like you hung the sun and the stars, like he felt such fondness for you that 'I love you' simply didn't cut it...

It was time to tell him.

"Can... Can we talk?" you asked, surprised by the softness of your voice. It was almost ashamed, but you knew you shouldn't feel shame for what had happened to you.

Only, you were so scared he'd feel ashamed of you.

Osamu was a great aim, and he was smart as a whip, and he was oddly strong for his thin figure. He'd never let himself stay in the sort of situation you did. He'd fight back.

You felt so small.

He turned to look at you, leaning back on the bathroom counter. His eyes were gentle and knowing, and you couldn't tell if you were upset that he already knew what this was about, or relieved. "Of course," he said with a little smile, squatting down in front of you and taking your hands in his. "What about?"

You gulped, knowing there was no turning back now. If you told him this, you'd be trusting him with probably the worst part of your life. Even imagining it, the past with him, made you sick to your stomach.

You knew you'd backtrack if you didn't just rip it off like a bandaid.

"I overreact to things sometimes," you whispered, and he squeezed your hands. "I'm sure you've noticed it."

"I wouldn't use the word 'overreact.'"

You chewed on your lips nervously, staring into his eyes. Thankfully, all you saw there was understanding, but it was still so hard. "My ex beat me. For years... Anytime I did... anything, pretty much. It was bad." Your voice cracked as you continued, tears welling in your eyes. "I couldn't see my family... I ended up in the ER a few times. He broke me, Osamu. He had me convinced I'd never trust another man."

You waited with baited breath for his reaction, trying to hold in the tears. Your eyes stung and your breathing was speeding up into gasps, because you hadn't even told your family or closest friends the full extent of it.

Osamu looked oddly calm, but at the sight of your fallen tears, he got up to sit beside you. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, he pulled you in close, flush against him, and kissed your temple. "Breathe, baby. It's all right now," he whispered, squeezing you close.

You couldn't stop it now, though. What had been building up since you left your ex was being released right here, right now. There was no turning back. Hot tears rolled down your cheeks and clouded your eyesight. Subconsciously, you grabbed his shirt in a tight grip and squeezed until your hand ached.

"He beat the shit out of me, and nothing ever happened," you continued, the anguish in your voice now laced by anger. "He broke my collarbone... my jaw—my ribs and my wrist. He made me feel like an ant, like I was so small, and I still feel that way now, and even after I left him... I'm still suffering, but he gets to go about his life like it was nothing. I couldn't even go to the police—he said he'd kill me," you got out through gasps, squeezing your eyes closed as your vision had started to darken at the edges, anyways.

Osamu's eyes flashed with something you didn't recognize, but all he knew to do was pull you in tighter. He placed a hand on your head and pulled you into his chest, and you certainly weren't trying to resist.

"It's not fair," you added, knowing how childish you sounded. Nothing was ever fair. Here you were, saying all this to a man who had probably done much worse than just break people's bones, complaining about fairness.

You weren't a child. You knew life wasn't fair, but that didn't mean it didn't fucking suck that it wasn't.

"Sometimes, I still see him, you know... In town, I—" You had to stop, otherwise you'd make it worse for yourself.

He held you close, rubbing your back and gently scratching your scalp as he whispered for you to breathe. Osamu knew you were about to land neck deep into a panic attack.

Eventually, he did get you calmed down. He got you to bed, made you a mug of hot chocolate, and read to you for about thirty minutes before you were able to catch your breath, his smooth voice calming you better than any benzo could.

In the end, you two lied down together, your back pressed to his front. The bandaged arm that was wrapped around your waist felt like a safety blanket. You were sure you'd be embarrassed about your outburst tomorrow, but for right now, you simply soaked up the feeling of him wrapped around you so snugly.

"You're not small," he whispered to you, and that was the last thing you remembered before passing out.

—Dazai doesn't seem different to you afterwards, in that he doesn't act differently towards you. You were worried at first that he'd see you differently, that he'd see you as being as weak as you saw yourself, but it was the furthest thing from. He respects the hell out of people who can go through such terrible things, and yet come out so kind, so good

—While he doesn't seem different, inwardly you can bet he's raging. Dazai is PISSED OFF, more than he's been in years. He's made great progress, but let's not forget that Dazai can be a cruel mf. He's got a darkness in him that he doesn't want you to see, but it is definitely there

—He doesn't press you for anymore details, but he can't help himself. He digs. He uses his brilliance to find out who the guy is, who his name is, and any time he feels even a slight bit of guilt at digging into your past life without your knowledge, he reminds himself of the injuries you listed.

—You thought he'd forget the things you admitted during your confession? PLEASE. He needs to know everything about this fucking piece of work. If he has a photo, he might even text it to Chuuya, along with a message "wanted alive," and you best bet Chuuya takes it seriously (even if he hates Dazai, lmao) because just by LOOKING at the photo of this guy, everyone can tell he's an asshole. And you still see this mf sometimes? Man is RAGING

—Dazai stands on business, because seeing you so torn up about it physically hurts him. It makes his heart ache every time he remembers you in that state. He can't fucking stand it, and he has to do something about it

—Your words about it being unfair haunt him in his nightmares. You're right to a degree: the world isn't fair. However, Dazai knows that if it takes him a million years, he's gonna make this shit fair

—Then, what do you know, one day he's at the office and Atsushi comes strolling in with a Manila folder and the piece of shit, himself. There he is, practically served to Dazai on a silver platter

—"This is Tanaka Jiro," Atsushi chirped, missing the way Dazai's eyes widened when he saw the new client. "He's here on behalf of the engineering company that got broken into last night."

Dazai sat up in his chair, staring right at the man who had the gall to make you feel small and weak. His eyes darkened, and then he slowly smiled. It wasn't happy or gentle, or even playful and teasing.

He smiled like Mori smiled.

In that moment, if his coat was black instead of tan, he'd look the picture of his younger, crueler self. He supposed that part of him never went away, always there just at the edge of his subconscious.

He promised Odasaku that he'd push it away, that he'd do good. However, he felt that even Odasaku, his kind friend, would understand the necessity of it now.

Immediately, he jumped out of his chair and made his way over. His hand landed on Atsushi's hair, giving it a playful ruffle. As he looked at him, his eyes softened. "Maa, Atsushi-kun. You work too hard, you know. I'll take this case for you."

Atsushi stared at him with obvious shock, eyes wide and jaw on the floor, because Dazai never, ever volunteered to work. If anything, he complained about it like a child.

"D-Dazai-san?" he breathed, in disbelief. It looked like he thought someone had killed the real Dazai, and was now acting in his place.

"Ah, ah," Dazai chirped, shoving Atsushi away. "Go do normal teenager things. Flirt, make friends," his voice trailed off as his gaze slid to Tanaka, your ex, and the smirk lifted his lips once more, eyes flashing dangerously, "all of that."

"O-Okay," Atsushi mumbled, still in shock. He recovered quickly, smiling brightly at Tanaka. "Dazai-san is a very good detective, Tanaka-san. You're in good hands!" he promised.

Tanaka smiled back, and seeing the bastard have the audacity to smile had Dazai seething internally.

Maybe, he'd take all his teeth, so that he could never smile again.

"Thank you for your help, Nakajima-kun," Tanaka said, nodding.

As Atsushi walked off, Dazai tilted his head to the side, his plan already formed. "Follow me to answer some questions, and then I'll begin investigating right away."

—For Dazai's plan to pay off, he needs to figure out who broke into the company. It wasn't a planned event, and he quickly figured out the guy who did it probably had no connection to the company (probably just a low down thief looking for some quick cash), which made it more difficult. It was the sort of not-really-a-big-deal crime that the agency would usually put on the back burner (the only reason it even came to them was because the thief was figured to be gifted), but Dazai worked tirelessly at it

—He interviewed people, looked over documents from dusk to dawn, and just generally put in a hell of a lot more effort for this than he usually would for some petty theft

—You probably even notice how hard he's working. There are bags under his eyes and he's back to not taking very good care of himself, but when you ask about it (obviously worried), he just smiles gently, kisses you, and assures you that he'll have this case figured out in no time. He doesn't want you anywhere near this

—When he does find the criminal, their interaction goes something like this:

"I know you did it. Give me the shit you stole, and I'll let you off."

"Bet."

—He has this part meticulously planned out. While your ex is in work one day, Dazai plants the stolen items in his car, and then calls the company security

—He watches with glee as he's dragged from the building, kicking and screaming like an enraged toddler, and fired on the spot. Your ex's livelihood? Gone. Phase one? Completed

—Dazai sat at his desk with a satisfied smile, chin resting in the palm of his hand as he counted down in his head. Everyone else is entrenched in their own workloads, barely even noticing the malicious sparkle in Dazai's eyes.

Soon enough, the door bursted open, and your ex came running in. His eyes were rimmed red, like he'd been crying, and he was flushed all over from rage. "What the fuck did you do?!" he demanded, pointing at Dazai.

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently, standing and walking over with the same smile.

Everyone else stopped what they were doing, watching the scene with widened, or curious eyes. This sort of thing didn't happen much at the ADA.

"You know what the fuck I mean, you piece of shit!" Tanaka screamed in his face, and it only made Dazai's smile widen. When he saw this, he hissed, "I think we should take this outside."

"Hold on," demanded Atsushi, immediately standing from his desk, along with Kyouka and Kenji.

Dazai didn't even look at them, staring into Tanaka's eyes, as he held up his hand to stop them in their tracks. The smile melted off his face, replaced by a cold glare and lips pressed into a line. "I'm fine," he assured them, light tone not at all matching his expression.

"But—Dazai-san," Atsushi mumbled, eyes flickering between Dazai and Tanaka.

"You guys are so dramatic," Ranpo said with a roll of his eyes, absently watching the scene from his desk, which his feet were propped up on. "Dazai-kun said it's fine."

Dazai tilted his head mockingly at Tanaka. "Are we going outside?"

That, they did. Tanaka stomped down the stairs and through the cafe, out onto the crowded streets of Yokohama.

Dazai followed, of course, even as Tanaka led him towards a darkened alleyway, obstructed from the view of the general public. Inwardly, he thought that this guy was making it way too easy. He was an idiot.

Tanaka stared at the dead end wall for a minute, and then let out a cry of rage, turned on his heel, and began running at Dazai with his arm pulled back and his hand clenched into a fist.

Nonplussed, Dazai side stepped it, loving every minute of the surprise on Tanaka's face. "What? Did you think fighting someone your own size would be as easy as beating on a girl?"

That had Tanaka freezing immediately. "What the fuck are you talking about?" he growled out, and Dazai almost laughed at his attempt to be menacing and scary.

Right on time, a black SUV pulled up. He might not be in the mafia anymore, but Dazai had plenty of contacts from it. When masked men jumped out of the vehicle, surrounding Tanaka, Dazai smirked at the look of pure terror on his face.

"Don't play dumb. You aren't handsome enough to pull it off," he said lightly, and then laughed as Tanaka tried to call for help.

He was knocked out before he could.

When he awoke, eyes all bleary and with a searing headache, he was in a big, dark warehouse. It was old and beaten, with leaking pipes and creaky doors. He was sitting in a chair, hands cuffed together behind him.

Tanaka screamed.

Dazai walked in front of him casually, hands tucked into his pockets. "Scream all you like. No one will hear you," he said.

"Why are you doing this?! Who even are you, man?!" Tanaka cried, the tears falling down his cheeks. He looked so pathetic.

Dazai loved every second of it.

He hummed, walking forward until he was right in front of the bastard, footsteps echoing around the wide open space. Grabbing a fist full of Tanaka's hair, Dazai yanked his head back, so he'd be looking up at him, so he could see the icy glare, the hate.

"You hurt someone I'm very fond," Dazai said softly, tilting his head. "You hurt someone I love... And ever since she told me, I've been thinking of ways to make it fair for her. It's all I've thought about.

"She's not like you and me, you know. She's kind. She's sweet. She's good. You," Dazai scoffed, "you're pathetic. A man who has to beat defenseless women to feel good about himself is no man." When he leaned in close, so his lips were inching his ear, Tanaka whimpered. "And me? I'm the worst of the worst."

Now, all Tanaka could do was cry and plead, but Dazai wasn't having any of it. He let go of Tanaka's hair, letting his head fall limply, enjoying the sounds of his uttered prayer. "No god can save you from me," he told him in a pleasant voice, taking a few steps back.

Dazai crossed his arms and hummed thoughtfully, making a show of it. "I thought I could just kill you, but that's not really fair, is it? She has to live with what you did to her, and I think the fairest thing would be if you have to live with what I do to you."

"You're fucking psychotic," Tanaka whispered.

"Ah," Dazai agreed easily. "I've always been more of a proponent of revenge, rather than justice. See, she probably just wishes you'd have gone to jail." His casual tone melted into something deeper and smoother, deadlier. "Whereas I'm more of an eye-for-an-eye kind of guy, so..." He pursed his lips in faux thought, looking up at the ceiling. "What was it she said?"

Tanaka stared at him in horror, especially when Dazai stared him straight in the eye and smiled.

"Right. Broken jaw, collarbone, ribs, and wrist!" He said, snapping as if he'd just remembered it, as if your broken confession hadn't been causing him physical pain this whole time. "I have plenty of history with breaking jaws, so I guess we'll start there. What do you say?" he asked brightly.

Tanaka screamed again, the sound becoming a cry of raw terror as Dazai began walking towards him.

An hour later, Tanaka still sat in his chair, still handcuffed, but he was bloody and bruised. Every injury he inflicted on you, Dazai returned tenfold. He was delirious with pain, and in and out of consciousness.

Dazai grunted when he looked down at his hands, seeing the blood that absolutely coated his knuckles and bandages. He'd have to clean that up before coming home to you.

"You up?" he asked, walking closer.

When Tanaka immediately flinched back, Dazai hummed with satisfaction.

"I won't kill you," he said, as if he was doing Tanaka some great favor. "You're going to go about your pathetic, little life with no job, and every time you look at yourself, you'll remember this pain. You'll finally feel at least a fraction of what she did."

Tanaka just whimpered. It was hard to speak with a shattered jaw.

Dazai smiled at the sound, crouching down in front of him to force Tanaka to look him in the face, in the eyes. "The men who kidnapped you are going to drop you off at a hospital. They'll ask what happened, and you'll be tempted to tell them. So," his tone lowered into a hiss, breaking the somewhat casual facade now that Tanaka had physically felt his anger. There was no point hiding it now. "I'll tell you the same thing you told her at her lowest point, that defenseless girl who didn't stand a chance against a piece of shit like you: tell the cops, and I'll kill you."

Dazai stood, jaw clenched. "And I'll be watching you from now. Step a toe out of line, hurt anyone else, and I'll bring you right back here. Only, that time, I'll probably just go ahead and do the whole world a favor, and shoot you in the head.

"I bet no one would miss you at all, because that's how small you are."

With that, he walked away.

—I know that was pretty brutal, but to be honest, y'all, Dazai was a whole ass executive in the PM (the 'demon prodigy'). He tries to hold it back in the ADA (per his promise to Oda and his care for the others), but let's not kid ourselves. The guy does have the capacity to do some really evil shit, and I think if he'd do it for anyone, it'd be you

—It just pisses him off so much to feel helpless, especially when it comes to you. He couldn't save you, then, but he can damn well set the record straight. In his head, he had to do something. At the very least, he had to stop this guy from doing it again

—You were eating dinner with him that night, and hadn't really noticed anything out of the ordinary. Both of you were just sitting at the counter, digging into some instant ramen, and you probably wouldn't have noticed if you didn't pay such close attention to him.

There was a speck of blood on the collar of his coat.

"Hey, what happened?" you asked, concern pinching together your brows. Worried eyes scanned him over, looking for any sign of injury. You found none, though.

"It's not mine," Osamu answered, and then took a bite of his food, looking pointedly away from you.

You pursed your lips, tapping his wrist. "We don't lie to each other, O-sa-mu."

He couldn't help but smile a little at your tone. His eyes finally met your's, and he tapped your wrist back. "It's not a lie. It's-not-mine."

"It's a lie by omission if you don't tell me what happened."

You were terribly confused when his eyes softened, and then he gently pressed his hand to the back of your head, bringing you closer until your foreheads were touching. "What's wrong?" you mumbled.

"I can't tell you everything," he admitted slowly, eyes shut. He looked so peaceful, like he was where he was meant to me. Honestly, when Osamu was all soft like this, it took your breath away.

"Then tell me part of it," you breathed, reaching up to cup your hand around his neck. "Did something happen?"

He stayed quiet for a long time, though you didn't know how long. It was like he was contemplating something serious, and that both confused and worried you.

When he finally did speak, it felt like time froze. Everything froze.

"I made it fair. He won't ever hurt anyone else again. I made sure of it."

The words were a whispered promise, and you automatically knew what he was talking about, of course. He was mysterious, and he had been distrustful at first, and you knew he had once been in the mafia, but he was also the person you trusted the most in the world.

Osamu always went above and beyond for you, and you didn't feel as safe anywhere as you did with him.

You believed him wholeheartedly, and found that this admission was enough. You didn't need to know the details, and probably wouldn't want to.

The relief you felt was enough.

"Thank you, Osamu."

—Look, he's so bby girl with you, but he don't play when it comes to your abusive ex💀

—Just... just honestly don't fuck with the people this guy loves, okay? He's gd diabolical, and he can be so cruel to those that hurt who he cares about, so... Just watch it if you're tryna show out to his girl, okay, lmao

[merakiui]

MERA!!!! I have no one else to ramble/rant about this to since I fear it's a pretty uncommon experience, but have you ever read a wonderful piece of work by someone who unfortunately ended up deactivating/leaving most socials? ;ª;

There's this one darker Tweels fic called "Aphotic" currently listed on ao3 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/27124492/chapters/66236443 link for good measure)- which if im not sure if you've ever read, but oh. My. God. It's such a great fic that really hits the spot for darker content of the tweels. The characterization of Jade and Floyd are absolutely my favorite in this fic as they're just *incredibly* mean to the reader but in a tasteful way. Bonus points also go to how the author wrote the mc(reader) as well, everyone in this fic is just equally fucked up and reading through this story is just one incredible rocky ride..there are only two surviving chapters and one of the two is Floyd focused, but I don't wanna spoil the main plot of the fic for anyone that may be interested in reading just please take the warning that when I say the tweels are mean, they are MEAN..

unfortunately the fic is not only unfinished but as I mentioned earlier, in a devastating turn of events the author of the series completely deactivated D: they were also on tumblr once I think they went by twstedworks? But there's no longer any way to see any of their works on this platform anymore which is just so unfortunate,, I get an intense feeling of past-felt-fomo knowing I wasn't able to see any of their other stuff while they were an active writer knowing that they seemed to be active in 2020(?) Which was a time I wasn't really reading any written works for twst... but regardless of whatever reason they chose to leave the platform I do hope they're doing well now.

I'm sad that I'll never be able to see the jade centric part of Aphotic, or be able to see any of their previous dribbles or works since they've all been completely wiped. I have followed good yan/dark twst writers and blogs in the past that have deactivated or moved on for whatever personal reason in the past but it does really suck in this case not being able to at least, in the slightest , have been able to experience other stuff this author may have wrote which im sure was delightful orz...

Reminder to readers and consumers of fanfic on here to always show support and motivation to your favorite writers!! You never know when you'll never get the chance to read anything from them ever again :( and thank you esp Mera for being one of my favorite twst blogs of all time on here!! Your interpretations of the tweels have always been my favorite from any blog and the way you choose to write these characters in general never disappoints ✨️

If this does get answered, being as this is my first ever formal ask, may I be 🪆 anon? Or 🍮🥄 if that's taken ^_^

Hi hiii, 🍮🥄 anon!!! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

I know that experience... >_< it's happened to some of the stories/authors I followed. It's always so sad when writers deactivate/leave the platform or fandom/etc, but everyone has their reasons. I can only be grateful I was able to behold such enjoyable works!!! :D "Aphotic" sounds like such an interesting story!! I love mean tweels. <3 I'll have to check it out!

I think I've read some writings from twsted-works before they deactivated! It was so long ago (before I even had a tumblr account), but I remember adoring the way they wrote Octavinelle. I hope they're doing well wherever they are!!

And you're so right!!! It's always important to show support and love to artists, creators, writers, etc! Most, if not all, writers love to receive feedback on their work. Even something like a keyboard smash or a dozen heart emojis is very flattering to us because it shows us that you've enjoyed the work. Whether you show that enjoyment by commenting, liking, reblogging, or sending an ask on here, it's always lovely to spread appreciation for the hard work and time that goes into crafting wonderful stories!!! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

Thank you so much for your sweet words!! I'm just happy to be able to write and share stories!! It's a huge honor you would consider me one of your favorite twst blogs. I'm beyond flattered!!!! ♥️✨

[scribbling-dragon]

45 and flower husbands (or maybe emberfrost/snowbugs :eyes:) for the ask game!

breath from death

summary:

“Oh, love…” the sheer agony in Scott’s voice is enough to make Tango crack his eyes open, watery from his subsequent coughing fits, tears continuing to bead up as he tries to bring Scott’s shape into focus. When he does, he almost wishes he hadn’t, having to resist the urge to recoil from the way Scott is looking at him.

(ao3 link)

(2,473 words)

hdjsk this was meant to be more angsty than it actually was,, i just made tango into a bit of a loser tbh. but! hope you enjoy the snowbugs (i can't lie the only reason i wrote them is bc i loved the name hdsjhsjk). did i see scott gift tango a heart and go a little silly? yes. yes i did

also! if you liked this and want to send in another request the list of prompts is here! i've got a lotta free time at the moment, so i'll definitely be writing stuff a lot more than i have been recently

“Ooh, Skizz really wasn’t lying, hm?”

Tango glances up at the voice, not even bothering to lean away from the bush he’s made himself a comfy spot against. Or as comfy as he can be when every part of him is in burning pain and agony. But the slight slouch he’s found himself in puts the least amount of pressure on his various injuries and maladies, and so is the most comfortable he can be right now.

“Scott,” he croaks out, wincing a little at how terrible his voice really sounds. He’d been spitting smoke earlier, angry with how much energy it was taking to simply haul himself to his feet. It’s left him with the inside of his mouth covered in ash, and his throat feeling like it’s been rubbed raw. “Good to see you could make it.”

Skizz is somewhere nearby, but not close enough to interrupt if Scott decided he wanted to put him out of his misery right here and now. He’s somewhat caught between being thankful for such a thing, and angry that he couldn’t go on any further.

He’d just be another footnote at the end of a book, another mention; a small aside, make sure to mention the one that almost dies in the most silent and insignificant ways.

He is well aware of his previous contributions to these games. He goes out with barely a sound, and the world carries on without him, continues to spin round and round, maybe a few choosing to mourn him. Be sad over the misfortune of his death, how easily such a thing could have been prevented.

He doesn’t even realise he’s breathing smoke again until Scott coughs, waving a hand in front of his face to waft the smoke away. Tango snaps his jaw shut almost immediately, muttering a quiet “sorry” when Scott continues to cough.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Rough day?”

“You could say that,” he stretches his back out, wincing as it tugs at the edges of unhealed injuries. A stray branch from within the cherry blossom bush scraping a hot line of agony across his spine. He curls inwards on himself with a hiss of pain, tears beading in his eyes at the sudden sting of all his injuries making their protests known.

The small relief from earlier, afforded to him by other servermates, swayed by Skizz’s plea for a small gift of love, a small act of mercy. A better act of mercy would be to put him out of his misery entirely, he thinks humourlessly.

“Hey, c’mon, you're just making this worse for yourself,” a hand lays over the back of his own hand, slowly encircling it before pulling it away. The movements are done with such delicacy, such gentleness, it’s as though he’s made of an extremely fragile glass. Like he’d break if the hands moved him too fast, that he’d shatter into a thousand pieces.

Maybe he would. He feels about ready to fall apart right now, anyway.

“See,” the person – Scott, it’s still Scott, he’s still here, Tango realises belatedly – breathes, his voice barely above a whisper. “That’s much better. Now, where has your teammate gotten off to?”

“He, agh,” he coughs again, a small curl of smoke rolling off his tongue as he hacks, one or both his lungs threatening to make an appearance as he doubles over again, stomach cramping with the force of his coughs. “He went to get some resources, something to better survive the next few hours.”

“He didn’t stay with you?”

“The idiot would have,” he scoffs, laughing slightly. He then has to cough again, appreciating Scott’s gentle stroking over the top of his shoulders. He’s nowhere near as warm as Tango himself is, the fire stoked within his core happily blazing away, despite the disrepair of the rest of his body. “I made him leave. I’m dead either way. My death will be nothing to gasp and cry over, better he’s not around when it does happen.”

“Oh, love…” the sheer agony in Scott’s voice is enough to make Tango crack his eyes open, watery from his subsequent coughing fits, tears continuing to bead up as he tries to bring Scott’s shape into focus.

When he does, he almost wishes he hadn’t, having to resist the urge to recoil from the way Scott is looking at him. His hand is still lying over the top of Tango’s shoulders gently, though no longer stroking to soothe him through a coughing fit.

When Scott had turned up, looking down at him with those gleaming red eyes. Eyes that herald violence, promise it, Tango had willingly accepted his death. Would probably have stretched his arms out and taunted Scott for coming after someone when their guard is so far down that it’s ripped to shreds if even twitching his arms didn’t hurt so badly.

And then he’d just…stood there, crouched in front of him and comforted him as he coughed.

It’s his own fault that his lungs are in such a sorry state, anger over everything about these damn games making his flame burn too hot too quickly. He usually has better control over it, breathes fire for a party trick sometimes, not to clog his lungs with ash. Still, Scott had provided the comfort happily, despite them being on rival teams now, people that should be looking to kill each other. Not make sure that he can breathe and is comfortable and that his ally hasn’t abandoned him.

“Every death is worth shedding at least a tear over,” Scott tells him. His hands have migrated from his shoulders to cradling the back of his neck, now kneeling in front of him instead of crouching. Tango almost wants to tell him that he’ll stain his jeans with grass and mud; they may already be wrecked beyond repair, ripped in ways that aren’t purposeful and stained with old blood, but the thought still crosses his mind. “You’ve built good alliances here, love, there will be several tears shed over your death.”

“And a few oh, poor Tango, what a terrible way to go!’s following behind it,” he snorts without humour, only sparing a moment to be relieved when it doesn’t catapult him into another coughing fit. “The same way it goes every time,” he finishes, slightly bitter. It brings a sour taste to his mouth to think about his previous failures. His previous embarrassments.

He’s jolted from his self-pity party when Scott’s fingers twitch over the nape of his neck, making his efforts to ignore how Scott’s hands are currently resting against the back of his neck null and void. His efforts to ignore how the hands reach far enough round that Scott could easily strangle him. Could simply wrap tight and squeeze the last drops of life from him. Scott would definitely benefit from it, numerous superficial injuries littering his body that he’d probably be relieved to get rid of.

But Scott doesn’t grip to his neck tighter, doesn’t shove him to the ground and crush his windpipe. His hands remain a heavy, almost comforting, weight at the back of his neck. Their faces are close like this, he realises belatedly, the intimacy of such a thing settling over him suddenly and heavily. Like a weighted blanket’s just been chucked on his head. He feels a little unbalanced by such a realisation, even as close to death’s door as he currently is.

It makes an odd feeling wash over him, only increasing as Scott moves his hands, fingers tickling the short furs at the back of his neck. Can feel the way Scott’s thumb brushes over his pulse point – stupid, doesn’t he know that the thumb has a pulse? That you can’t measure someone else’s heartbeat with your thumb, as your own racing heart will interfere?

Scott’s pinky fingers ghost over his jaw as his hands retreat, and tango almost makes a pitiful sound in the back of his throat when he thinks Scott’s pulling away from him.

He’s glad he didn’t (really, really glad) when Scott’s hands still again, settling over his jaw, cradling his face gently between his palms.

He really is quite close now, close enough that Tango can take in the smudged state of his make-up, like Scott’s been rubbing his eyes and smearing it around the corners of his eyes. Or that he’s not reapplied it recently and he’s simply been wearing the same make-up for the past few days.

He’d given up on the stupid pink eyeliner and little hearts he’d draw on his own and the others’ faces ages ago, tired of reapplying it every morning, wasting precious time that could be spent doing other things. More important things.

Scott’s make-up still looks good, though, smudged the way it is.

“I’ve always noticed when you died,” Scott tells him. This close, he can see the pink flecks in Scott’s eyes. They almost match the shirt he chose to wear for this go-around, wanting to fit better with the whole vibe they had going on at the Heart Foundation prior to its burning. “Kinda hard not to, when you're checking your comm every few minutes and hoping it’s not one of your allies that’s just died.”

“Oh,” he says, maybe a little dumbly. So sue him! He’s not sure what to say to a man very close to his face, still looking pretty despite his smudged make-up, when he gets told that he always notices him.

Yeah, some snide part of his brain comments, always notices when you make a fool of yourself and die in the most humiliating way possible.

“Oh,” Scott repeats, snickering a little. It makes his shoulders shake, meaning Tango’s face is wobbling a little because Scott’s still holding his face, cradling him carefully like he’s some delicate thing to be treasured.

Man, he’s glad Skizz hasn’t made a reappearance yet. He’s not sure how he’d explain his current everything to him with a straight face. Skizz would probably laugh at him until he cries.

“What else do you want me to say to that!” he protests, a little embarrassed at his slightly lacklustre response. “Thanks, I notice every time you die too – I'm always dead at that point! I can’t notice.”

“No, no,” Scott shakes his head, brushing one of his thumbs over the paper-thin skin beneath his eye. The motion makes him shiver, something weird, but not unfamiliar or unwelcome, curl down and around his spine. He shudders again. “I’m just teasing you, love, promise.” His eyes twinkle with mirth, “Would you believe me if I told you I came here with kind intentions?”

“Not at all,” Tango says, half-joking. “You’ve only been mean to me so far.”

“Aw, I'm hurt!” Scott cries, eyes crinkling as he grins. “I saw Skizz’s, uh, plea for help on your behalf and thought I might as well pop over and give you a little boost.”

“Oh, really?” He perks up at that. A few people have been by already, each giving him a small boost. To think he was in an even worse state as the sun rose that morning is somewhat horrifying to think about. It’s a miracle he even managed to have a coherent conversation with Skizz as their day began. “Well, c’mon then! Don't leave poor ol’ me waiting.”

“Okay, okay,” Scott laughs again, a little quieter. “God, you tell someone you're about to give them something, and it’s all they can think about.”

“All I can think about is how much pain I'm currently in,” Tango jokes.

He realises that the joke didn’t quite land as he intended when Scott’s face doesn’t continue to crease with smile lines, instead dropping into something sadder. “Well,” he says confidently, “I can fix that real quick for you, love.”

And then Scott’s leaning and Tango’s floundering, because, sure, he’s kissed people before. For definite. Kissed people plenty of times, actually! But he never quite knows what to do with his hands, nevermind the fact that he can barely even lift his hands right now.

Scott seems comfortable taking the initiative, giving him a chaste peck on the lips, warm hands continuing to cradle his face gently, before pulling back just as quickly as he’d moved in.

“There,” he says, sounding satisfied. “All better?”

“I – yeah. Thanks,” he manages. He mentally fist pumps when his voice doesn’t wobble and he doesn’t immediately chase after Scott with significantly less achy limbs than a few moments before. “That’s really appreciated, thank you.”

“Not a problem,” Scott says, wiping a little around his bottom lip, clearing away some of the smudged make-up there. “Always glad to help!” He chirps, then stands. “Well, I’ll be seeing you around, hopefully not at the other end of my sword!”

“Hopefully not,” Tango agrees. Really hopefully not because he’ll probably just stand there like an idiot and think about how soft Scott’s lips are, and the way they’d slotted against his own, and-

The clearing of a throat above him has him blinking his eyes open, squinting a little at the figure silhouetted by the sun.

“See you had a little visitor,” Skizz tells him, sounding far too smug for someone that probably only saw Scott walk away. Tango’s sheltered where he sits, so even if Skizz was on his way back while…all that happened, there’s no way he actually saw anything.

“I- what? Oh, Scott, yeah. He gave me a heart.”

“See he gave you a little something else, too.”

What?

“What?” He asks, sitting up slightly, hissing under his breath as his cracked ribs forcefully remind him that they're still cracked. “What d’you mean?”

“You got a little something,” Skizz says, “around here.”

And gestures around his mouth.

Tango wipes at his lip with his thumb, cringing when it comes away stained with make-up. Make-up that everyone has seen Scott wearing recently.

“Oh, wow, haha,” he laughs, not at all amused. “How’d that get there.”

“How indeed,” Skizz says, obviously already knowing, the dick. “Maybe we should ask the whole server, see if they can help us solve this mystery.”

“No!” Tango throws himself upwards as Skizz goes to retrieve his comm, smacking his hands away frantically. “No, no, I'm sure we can figure this out ourselves.”

“Oh, yeah. I'm sure we can.” Skizz says, and walks off. Still grinning.

Tango collapses back down to the ground, indulging his moment of dramatism even as it aggravates a few minor wounds.

Whatever shitty higher being watches over me now, he pleads, please strike me down before he comes back.

The shitty higher being watching over him decidedly does not strike him down, and Skizz comes back to laugh him again, though he brings a make-up wipe with him…maybe Tango can find it in his heart to forgive him. Eventually.

[doromoni]

Hunting Affections

Charles Leclerc x photographer!reader

Max Verstappen x photographer!reader

Epilogue

fanfic + smau fic

faceclaim : Hwang Eunbi

warnings : nothing ig?

A/N : UP FOR EDITING 🤍

masterlist

<previous

Summary; Love is but a concept — just connections of neurons that take part in the brain … and yet, why is it the most painful when one falls alone?

or

Loving someone who doesn’t love you back , until you can’t no more. Maybe then they’ll actually know what they’ve lost.

Certainty is not a word to describe life, as change is constant, and nothing can tell what tomorrow may bring. No day is perfect, and no day is the same as the ones before. Everything changes and not all people in our lives actually stay, and not everything that we planned is fated for us — but maybe it’s actually for the best.

I thought that I had lost myself when a person that I loved parted from my life. I thought that my everything was over when Charles Leclerc left me.— well I did, and it did, but I found a better version of me in the end.

Now, I could honestly say that I’ve forgiven all that had been done. I am truly thankful for everything that had happened in the past, for what I have now couldn’t have happened because of it.

y/n_stills.

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y/n_stills. Everyone, we would like for you to meet our sweetest angel, Jilian 💙.

We’ve decided that it was time that you all get to meet our most precious, baby girl. During the first few years of our baby, we have decided that it would be the best to keep her out of the spotlight and keep her to ourselves for the meantime. We hope that you understand and respect our decision and that everyone will show kindness to our angel.

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“Mommy, please hurry up! I don’t wanna miss Daddy’s race” and there goes my most precious little girl stomping her feet as she sped towards my legs hugging them in a death grip.

“I know, I know , my sweet . Mommy just needs a minute to fix my hair , then we’ll go see daddy, alright? Why don’t you choose which car you want Mommy to drive” I said trying to placate the pouting girl. Nodding eagerly, she dashed towards the garage.

She was a carbon copy of her dad, from her features to her attitude — She really was her daddy’s daughter alright. She even got his love for cars and his passion for the sport — I love her even more for it.

Hearing the small footsteps coming back, I grabbed my bag and headed out the door. Seeing my daughter bounce in excitement as she clutched the car keys in her tiny hands has brought the greatest of warmth to my heart. Zooming towards me she then pushed the keys to my hands, then making her way back to the garage. Looking down to key, a chuckle left my lips. As expected, my daughter knew what she wanted , her favorite — and of course it’s her daddy’s Ferrari 488 Pista.

After buckling my baby in her car seat, I drove us to the race circuit. Today was her first ever actual race and appearance to the public. Her father and I had agreed that it was about time to desensitize her to the motorsport world, since both of us are still active in our fields … plus she’s been begging to come with us rather than staying in with her nanny.

Feeling the excitement from my baby , as the circuit came nearer and fans wearing the colors of their teams rushing past our car — with some sending waves our way.

“Mommy, why are they saying hi? Are they friends?” My daughter asked with big eyes as she tried to take everything in.

“Yes sweetie, they are our friends! They also support daddy and other uncles’ racing.” I explained as I parked the car in the private lot.

y/n_stills. 2mins

viewed by landonorris, oscarpiastri, lewishamilton and 1,636,162 others

story replies

landonorris MY NIECE! MY NIECE! MY NIECE!

landonorris your favorite unkow wando is hereeee

y/n_stills. Hmmm favorite… sure.

oscarpiastri Mom! You brought Jillyyyyyy~ please let me babysit later! 🥺

y/n_stills. Well she did miss you

oscarpiastri YES! I promise I won’t leave her with lando!

Grabbing everything we need, I picked up my daughter and placed her on my hip. Her tiny arms circled my neck tightly growing shy from the attention we were getting from the fans as we walked through the paddock

“It’s ok baby. Mommy is here, their not gonna hurt you. Remember, they are our friends! Let’s go find your Daddy, hm?” I said soothingly as I placed a kiss on her forehead. Sensing that she was starting to get overwhelmed, I planned to move quicker to our motorhome, when a familiar voice shouted catching our attention.

“Y/N! Mon Petit Jillian! “

My Jillian physically perked up at the voice. Suddenly giddy , she squirmed at my hold. With a soft smile and with no choice but to let go , I looked at my daughter run towards the man with a squeal.

Jillian ran straight into the arms of Charles Leclerc.

———

“Charles, let’s talk please”

Here we are, where everything had all began. We are once again sitting beneath the stars , hidden from civilization, on the same beach where we poured our soul out for the world to hear.

He remained quiet as he looked at the crashing waves up ahead. Charles looked so peaceful, as if everything had finally fallen into place. Then a soft smile suddenly appeared on his lips as he looked straight into my eyes. Patting the place next to him as he looked back into the ocean, I then complied and took a seat beside him.

We sat their in complete silence, only savoring the peace that the both of us missed. He then spoke , his voice blending in with the sound of the waves crashing ahead of us.

“Do you really love him?” Charles had asked earnestly, there was no anger in his voice. His eyes were clear, holding only tranquility and peace.

“Yes, I do. I do love Max, so so much.” a smile growing , as I answered without a doubt. Charles turned silent again , this time closing his eyes. Yet , again a smile had shown in his lips, this time it reflected understanding acknowledgment, and then finally… acceptance.

“I was really a fool for what I did to you, Y/N. I’m sorry for being selfish and hindering you from your happiness . To be honest, I haven’t been alright for a while … even I don’t understand myself. I felt miserable and I felt that it wasn’t fair … and others should feel the same.”

“When I saw you getting along with everyone, I grew jealous and vindictive, specially when my entire family loved you instantly, I could never do that you know? I was blinded by my own faults, so I blamed you instead because it was easier. I had the mindset that you were mine and I that we should be hurting together… that you shouldn’t be happy when i’m not. I took everything out on you and you didn’t deserve any of it. Not at all. You deserve the entire world and more.”

Charles then looked back at me with the same eyes that looked at me when we first met — the same eyes that filled with the same spark… the spark of freedom.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry for everything …. I’m letting you go. Be happy“

My tears gushed endlessly, as i choked on my sobs. Now Charles and I chanting a different promise to the same stars that witnessed our journey.

———

5 years had passed, and a lot has changed. All of us had moved on and had gone through with our lives. Everything has changed, all of us had matured to what we are now.

“How is my favorite little girl, doing? Did mommy let you play with the present I gave you?” Charles had lifted Jillian to his hip as he caught the toddler mid run. Rolling my eyes at the Monegasque driver, I went towards them.

“Noooooo , Uncle ChaCha! Mommy didn’t let me play with it yet! She said that I could play with it when I’m five!”

Seeing my daughter act petulant to her favorite uncle (Don’t tell Lando) brought a chuckle to the both of us.

“What? How dare Mommy say no to a princess?” Charles acted exaggeratedly

“ Well Mommy is the queen , and Daddy said that everyone should follow her orders” My baby said smartly.

“And Daddy stands by his statement! Mommy is always right!” Then the voice of my husband boomed behind me, and our daughter automatically jumping into her Daddy’s arms.

There stood with the biggest of smiles with our bundle of happiness, joy and love , our daughter settled in his arms, Max Emilian Verstappen , my husband, the father of our child, and the love of my life.

I didn’t need to hunt for affection any longer , Now I am surrounded by it .

Fin~

Thank you for reading, everyone 🤍

[ineed-to-sleep]

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[veeagainsttheday]

Ed, Killing, and the Kraken in Our Flag Means Death S1 and S2

This meta contains a whole heckuva a lot of spoilers for Our Flag Means Death seasons 1 and 2. Thanks to @petrichorca who gave it a read through and left some helpful comments!

When we first get to know Ed in s1e4, the episode concludes with him telling his first mate, Izzy Hands, about his plans to murder Stede Bonnet and steal his identity so Ed can retire from piracy. Ed and Izzy discuss the plan in a casual manner, like this act isn't shocking or deviant from previous conversations and schemes Ed and Izzy have had before. This is consistent with how other characters, especially Black Pete, have described Blackbeard in previous episodes (‘when Blackbeard kills man, woman, or child…’). While Black Pete is (probably) lying, Buttons was with him until the flip. 

As the song ‘The Empty Boat’ by Caetano Veloso plays, Izzy tells Ed, 'You've still got it' and Ed says, 'I know,' turning away to face the empty deck. Only the audience witnesses his true facial expression - the Blackbeard mask falling, a kind of dead-eyed exhaustion (echoed by the lyrics of the song) taking its place. 

In s1e5, we see Ed threaten violence against the French captain, but he doesn't actually hurt the man himself. We also see him act as if he's about to go kill the French partygoers before Stede steps in and 'handles it'. At this point I think we the audience would, if asked, have said that Ed seems to have a casual attitude towards killing that you would expect from 'the legendary Blackbeard'. He's scary ('next one goes through your fucking eyeball') and almost cartoonishly violent ('skin him. And use the snail fork'). So we the audience maybe make some assumptions about where the show stands on violent killing - not only that Blackbeard is familiar with it, but that it's a commonplace act for him.

Then we come to a pivotal moment. In s1e6, Izzy pushes back on Ed for not killing Stede, there’s the conversation about doggy heaven, and Ed promises Izzy that he’ll be the one to do the killing. We see Ed hyping himself up (‘You’re a killer bro. So kill.’) and then holding his knife while standing next to Stede behind the curtain in the captain’s cabin. They’re interrupted by Lucius cutting off his finger. Ed doesn’t go through with it; the moment passes as Stede exits the curtain to announce the entrance of the Kraken. 

At this point, I as an audience member fully believed that Ed couldn’t kill Stede because of his feelings for him. I wasn’t yet sure what those feelings were, but I knew that Ed had a deep affection for Stede, and for a moment I believed that was all that was holding him back. Then, of course, we see Ed have a PTSD/panic attack trigger from the Kraken fuckery that sends him into Stede’s bathtub, hiding underneath Stede’s robe, where he and Stede have what I believe is the most intimate moment of the entire first season (a reading supported by s2e3). Ed tells Stede, ‘The Kraken didn’t kill my dad. I did.’ We are shown the flashbacks to the way Ed’s father abused him and his mother, and the Kraken story he told on deck earlier is shown again with the figure of the beast in the water replaced by himself, as a young teen, on the dock. 

Then Ed tells Stede, ‘If I’m being honest, I haven’t killed another man since.’ Stede tries to comfort him by reminding him how much he loves a good maim, but Ed is still preoccupied with how the fact that he killed his abusive father as a child means that he’s not a good person, and that this is why he doesn’t have any friends, aka, isn’t loveable. Stede tells him, ‘I’m your friend,’ in essence, To me, you are loveable, and Ed reacts by saying, ‘No,’ and banging his head against the tub.

The next important point happens in s1e8, when Jack invites himself to breakfast and regales Stede (very deliberately, as he’s trying to push Stede and Ed apart) with the tale of Ed setting a ship alight and killing many people. (Also note - the show’s first mention of Hornigold! ‘He treated us like dogs! Worse than dogs!’ and ‘Ground us down into nothing!’) While Jack emphasises the horror and brutality of what Ed did, Ed’s demeanour completely changes - ‘No, Stede doesn’t want to hear about that.’ Jack obviously doesn’t listen to Ed; Stede’s face passes from horrified listening to Jack to squinting at Ed like, ‘Is this - true?’ Ed looks thoroughly guilty as the story continues and Stede asks him, clearly doing his best to preserve Ed’s secret in front of Jack, ‘I thought you’d, uh, given up the killing?’ Ed surges forward in his seat and, not making eye contact with Stede, says, ‘Yeah, well, technically the fire killed those guys. Not me.’ The camera then cuts to Jack looking at Stede with a bit of an incredulous expression as if he’s both gauging Stede’s reaction to the entire thing and thinking, ‘Wow BB’s in deep here if he’s making up some weird story about not being the one who lit that fire.’  

I don’t think the show intends for us to believe that Ed was consciously lying to Stede in the bathtub scene in s1e6. Instead, we see the complex way that Ed - who is shown to be both brilliant and possessed of an internal monologue that just cannot shut up - has constructed mental barriers to protect himself from the trauma of killing while still achieving the highest possible status in a very violent profession and existing in a world marred by colonial violence perpetrated specifically against people like him. 

S1e9 shows Ed continuing to posture to everyone but Stede as Blackbeard, seasoned killer (for example, telling Chauncey that he barely remembers killing Nigel because he’s ‘a real “life is cheap” kinda guy’). At the Academy and briefly after, in the beginning of s1e10, Ed seems set to have given up killing and violence for real, but Izzy’s threats in the cabin in s1e10 send Ed reeling back to the Kraken persona he assumed when he killed his dad. The season concludes with him pushing Lucius off the ship and Krakening up to sail, rob, and raise hell forever - but the final shot shows Ed crying alone in his cabin, his Kraken makeup streaking down his face. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s one of my favourite scenes from a character perspective. Imagine if the season had ended with Ed fully transformed into the Kraken, rather than clearly miserable and heartbroken under his mask? 

Season 2 begins with Ed trying to set a record for most consecutive raids, working his crew to death under brutal and traumatic conditions. His list of crimes on his wanted poster certainly suggests a lot of violence and killing, yet the show is careful to show us Ed himself only seeming to kill one person - firing a gun into a man’s back during a raid - and if you look closely, you’ll see that the man was already dying with a dagger through his body. It feels vital to me that the only direct ‘killing’ action we see Ed taking is shooting a man who we presume he can justify as having been already on his way to death. 

In s2e1 and s2e2, Ed can’t kill Izzy, though he does try desperately to get Frenchie to do it for him. He can’t even kill himself, trying to get Izzy to do it instead. When he thinks Izzy has committed suicide with the gun he gave him, he says, ‘I loved you, best I could,’ as if any love Ed could give would by its nature not be good enough. 

Ed wakes in s2e3 in the care of his old captain, Hornigold; of course, he’s really in the gravy basket and Hornigold is serving as a Jacob Marley-esque psychopomp. They key to Ed realising that he’s really [Buttons voice] ‘down in the old gravy basket’ is the conversation that concludes his attempts to be Jeff the Innkeeper. Hornigold tells Ed that he’s not good with people - after all, he did strangle his father. Ed reacts first with disbelief then cold fury, saying he never told anyone that; Hornigold reminds him that he told one person and Ed flashes back to telling Stede in the bathtub in s1e6; then Hornigold reminds him that the one person he told left him, and we see Ed crying under his Kraken makeup at the end of s1e10. Later, when Ed (finally, even Calico Jack would have had it sooner) realises that Hornigold represents himself, he says that he’s unloveable. Here’s the crux of it - he believes that he is fundamentally unloveable because he killed his father, because he is the Kraken, the monstrous beast capable of lethal violence. That’s why Stede left, his brain is telling him even as he’s dying. 

Then Stede actually proves him wrong by returning, saving him from death, and telling him that he ‘love[s] everything about [him]’ in rapid succession. Whether or not Ed fully accepts this information, we do see him very quickly, yes, melt back into Stede’s arms. Which brings us to s2e6, and Stede’s killing of Ned Low. 

Quick digression into killing and Stede: Stede accidentally kills a man in s1e1, is haunted by his ghost in s1e2. He’s so haunted by dead Nigel that he spends a lot of s1e2 asking first Oluwande and Jim for advice on being a ‘mur-der-er’, and then asking Black Pete how his former employer, Blackbeard (!!!) handled killing. (How Pete says, ‘When Blackbeard kills man, woman, or child-’ lives in my head at all times, Matt Maher with the line deliveries of all time.) Finally in s1e2, during his court-mandated therapy with the tribal elder, Stede admits that he doesn’t feel bad about killing Nigel - he was a horrible person even when he was a child! Stede's guilt is coming from somewhere else. We see this again in s1e9, when Stede says it is time for him to face the consequences for what he’s done - it might seem like he means for killing Nigel, since that’s why he’s about to face the firing squad, but we know that Stede’s guilt is about abandoning his family (the people he’s hurt!). Similarly, when Stede kills Ned in s2e6, he seems to get over it very quickly. Ned is clearly a bad guy, and although the act of killing him was traumatic for Stede (much like the act of killing Nigel), Stede presumably reconciles it by knowing that he was protecting Ed and his crew (and avenging Calypso’s birthday). Stede as a character is shown to have a tremendous amount of natural resilience. We later see him immolate a guy and dispatch a number of British soldiers without hesitation. Stede is also one of the two main protagonists of the show, and his attitude towards killing seems to reflect the attitude of the show itself - killing colonisers and torturers to protect your loved ones is ok, actually. 

(Side note but I found this idea about how zero tolerance policies actually hurt victims very informative on the topic of why it's ok that Stede killed his childhood bully; I got that link from this very interesting post where several people are in conversation about how Ed is not Izzy's abuser.)

Back to Ed in s2e6. He asks Stede not to kill Ned; when Stede does anyway, Ed is visibly saddened and ignores Izzy telling him to give Stede a moment; instead he goes immediately to check in on Stede in his cabin. He knocks on the door and in that soft voice that he only ever uses with Stede, he starts to say, ‘Hey. You okay? Look, I was a wreck after my first kill as well.’ Then he pauses, before rambling, ‘I mean, well, it was my dad, so there's that,’ which feels like a little moment of self-reflection. Like. Yeah. Ed. Baby. You might be super fucked up about the act of killing because the first guy you killed was your dad, when you were a literal child! Also, Ed has never been to (as far as we know) court-mandated tribal elder therapy, so of course his decision to kill his father fucked Ed up for decades! Also as a very clever friend pointed out, we don’t know anything about what the consequences of that were for Ed - how did his mother react, is that why he ran away to sea, etc.

There's another important thing here that the audience knows, but that Ed has never told Stede (or, we have to assume, anyone) which is that the catalyst for Ed becoming the Kraken to kill his father was abuse. The audience is shown through his panic-attack-induced flashback that Ed's father physically and verbally abused his mother and presumably him too. All Ed has ever said to Stede or anyone about it, as far as we know, was his joke to the crew during scary story hour that his dad was a dick. Stede can probably infer roughly why Ed killed his dad, but he doesn't know the details, and he loves everything about Ed anyway, and now Ed knows that Stede does too. 

So Ed and Stede have sex, and as many metas have pointed out (like this one!), it's so meaningful that Ed feels safe enough to give up his Blackbeard/Kraken identity the very next morning. He attempts to get Stede to see that it might be nice to not be pirates anymore due to the high chance of death but Stede manages to completely misread it and laughs it off. (To be fair to Stede, they're both horrible at communicating and Ed is not saying what he wants in any direct manner.) Ed proceeds to have his big beautiful brain start to spiral out of control as Jackie points out how popular Stede is becoming as a pirate; Ed panics, tells Stede he doesn’t even know who he is, and leaves to become a fisherman before he can get left (again!). 

As Ed rows away from his failed career as a fisherman in s2e8, his boss Pop-Pop (who he has managed to recreate a fucked up father-son dynamic with that like so many things in his show is played for laughs but has pretty dark undertones) yells after him, 'If you were ever good at anything, go and do that, you bum.' Ed rows back into the port of the Republic of Pirates and sees the destruction Prince Ricky has wrought upon the pirate community. Ed's first thought is, Stede, and then he imagines Stede calling for help before straight up murdering two British soldiers. He remembers Pop-Pop's words and says, 'Have it your way,' before diving into the sea, retrieving his leather, putting it on underwater, and emerging from the waves fully dressed. It's fantastically hot and the exact level of drama I expect from this man. The Kraken musical cue is playing as it happens. 

We now see Ed murdering British soldiers in the coolest ways possible, demonstrating his skill at fighting in hand to hand combat. One way to read him taking Pop-Pop's advice is that this is what he's good at - killing and violence. 

But you know what Ed’s even better at? Protecting the people he loves. His mother, himself, and Stede. Each time Ed becomes the Kraken, he fulfils that. He protects his mother from his father, himself from Izzy after being warned that ‘[Edward] better watch his fucking step’, and Stede from the invading colonisers who want to destroy their freedom. But something has changed the third time he does it - this time, he can tell Stede that he loves him and he doesn't mean it as a tainted thing, but something that he knows Stede will treasure. He's both loveable and capable of loving. He always has been, of course, but now he knows it. The Kraken, the part of him that is capable of killing, was always a defence mechanism for Ed, but the third time he understands it and himself enough to know that it doesn’t make him a monster. 

[bekkathyst]

New Shipping Policies / Announcements

This post is going to explain our new procedures for shipping as well as some other announcements! This will apply to both Tumblr sales and the online store.

Shipping Costs: As I've been explaining during the last week or two, we are no longer able to offer free shipping. To avoid having to close our shop for good, we will now be replacing the free shipping we used to offer with a discounted shipping rate. It costs us 25€ (~$27) to send an average-sized parcel to the US, but we will charge a reduced price of $15 per package. In the future, if you order a particularly large amount of items at once from the online store, shipping may be around $20 instead, but that is for extra large items/high quantities only.

EXCEPTIONS: If you have an open box that was started before these changes took place, this will not apply to that box. That box will follow the old rules (free shipping after $60) but, of course, if you are willing/able to pay for shipping, we deeply appreciate it. Any box opened after today will have to follow the new rules.

Open Box System: To get the most for the shipping cost, you may choose to order/pay for items from one sale and ask us to hold them here. That way you can wait until you purchase more from future sales to make the shipping price more worth it for you. You will only pay shipping once, just make sure to let me know you want to keep your box open. Once you're ready, just ask us to ship and we'll combine all your orders into one box to send out to you!

Crystal Sales Moving Forward: I am aiming to have one large crystal sale per month, from now onward. I will announce and start previewing sales about a week beforehand, and I hope to keep to a more regular schedule from now on. I am also going to focus on having these themed sales! And I will most likely be able to offer the personal shopping/mystery boxes from the gem shows like I did last year.

Jewelry: I aim to have a new jewelry collection every two months or so. There will be some other offerings in between, but we will just see what works out! Any jewelry purchase can be combined with crystal sales for open boxes. My next jewelry collection (the BG3 inspired collection) is likely to be released at the end of March!

I just want to keep you all updated so you know what to expect and you can better decide if you want to keep an open box or not. I would also love to take any requests for future crystal sales or even themes you'd like me to try to organize!

Any questions? Please ask away! I am happy to answer.

All in all, if today goes well, we will hopefully be able to come back stronger and build a system that works much better for us than the previous one. I have faith in our little shop :)

Thank you all so much!

[luminouslywriting]

Previous domestic anon - I'm baaaaaack. I love, love, love your take on domestic Gale! If you have the time and inspiration, would you be interested in expanding on pregnancy/parenting/Dad Gale hcs as well? Your writing is amazing, thank you for taking the time to share it!

Ahh this is such a cute idea!! I can definitely try my hand at this haha 🥰🤍 I’m loving these asks so keep sending them in!! Admittedly, this one was slightly angsty at the beginning haha! Pregnancy thoughts below the cut!

-I think that initially before pregnancy is even a thought on the table, Gale is above all things a man who is nervous and unsure about having kids because of his own father and some of the neglect and abuse that he endured. That definitely plays a part in his insecurities and doesn’t really know what a father is supposed to be anyway—but that doesn’t mean he’s not willing to try.

-I think communication, especially where he has a hard time expressing deep feelings and emotions, is going to be a process and he is going to need you to be patient with him.

-now if things are less abstract in the sense of you already being pregnant, I think he needs to take some time to think things through and gather his thoughts and figure out how to be supportive to you while also addressing his own fears and worries.

-He definitely cries when you tell him that you’re pregnant. There’s not a lot of words beyond “I love you” but he’s still unsure about a lot of things. -But once that is out of the way, this man is the softest, sweetest, gentlest man when it comes to you being pregnant and that little baby. -I absolutely picture him as the type of guy to immediately start talking to the baby at nighttime when you’re asleep. It doubles as a coping mechanism for him and a way for him to express himself and figure out how he’s feeling.

-He has sooooo many dreams and hopes for this little baby and he’s constantly wondering about who the baby is going to look more like, what their personality will be like, if it’s a boy or a girl, or what their name will be. -He tests out names after work. When he comes home, it’s usually with a name suggestion and if either of you like it, then it goes in a jar in the kitchen for potential names to narrow down. -Absolutely a wreck at first?? Like he’s trying to figure out what brand of crib is going to be the safest and WHY are there so many different types of bottles and WHY are there so many different diapers?? -So you may need to help him calm down a little bit because it’s still very early in the pregnancy and you have lots of time before you need any of that stuff. -Gale Cleven strikes me as the type of man to dote on a pregnant wife; we’re talking neck and foot massages, holding you while you’re sleeping and trying to make sure you’re comfortable, if you’re carrying heavy things then he’s taking the load—yes this applies to groceries too. -Completely in awe of you as your body changes and adapts for the baby. He’s literally the most starry-eyed man as he watches you get ready in the morning and at nighttime. -COMPLIMENTS AND HYPES YOU UP

-Helps you with your shoes

-If you have pregnancy nausea or morning sickness, this man is PREPARED. Like, he worries at first, but then he understands and he’ll hold your hair up and rub your back and set lavender or peppermint near you while you’re resting. -He heard somewhere that music and reading to the baby to familiarize your voices is a good idea and he’s absolutely doing that in the evenings

-Loves slow dancing with you in the kitchen and discussing the baby

-Was really excited to put together the nursery

-Is literally the most patient when it comes to your mood swings or cravings. Because listen, this is the man that put up with Bucky’s delulu baseball girl dreams in the POW Camp. If he can handle that, he can handle you. Might get a bit of whiplash though haha. -Goes faithfully with you to every appointment and tries to read up as much as he can so he’s educated about what is happening to your body. -When the baby bump actually shows up, he’s SMITTEN 🤩

-Literally is the proudest man ever and immediately sent letters and pictures to the men of the Hundredth

-Bucky is the godfather, I don’t make the rules. -And labor? Listen, this man is NOT leaving your side and he’s absolutely getting as sassy with the doctor as he was when he told his copilot to sit there and take it 😌

-But the minute that baby is born? He’s the most emotional whimpering wreck of a human being who has never seen anything so perfect in his life. -Cried for an abnormally long time and was very concerned he was going to drop the baby??? Which he wasn’t, and he didn’t, but the fear was there. -And then dad Gale thoughts?? -He’s so patient and understanding and loving to his children. He loves getting to spend time with them individually. -Gale has the mentality of “we don’t negotiate with terrorists” when it comes to the kids though so that does mean a strict bedtime and some rules being adhered haha

-But the kids ADORE him

-He’s not super involved in, like, PTA or anything but he is SO supportive. Your daughter has a dance or a music recital? He’s on the front row, accompanied by you and Bucky and clapping his little heart out. Your son decides he wants to do baseball? Gale is going to grimace and ask Bucky for how to help his kid learn and get better. -He is the homework helper dad haha. -Definitely is involved in bedtime routines for the kids and making sure teeth are brushed, kids are bathed, and a story is told. -Helps with every single science fair project and the kids always win haha. -Is honestly wrapped around your children’s fingers. -He changes a little bit when the kids start to be old enough to actually have conversations with and he becomes more vocal. Because his dad never told him that he was proud of Gale, he makes a point to say how much he loves the kids and how proud he is of every little thing they do! -Gale carries pictures of the kids in his wallet and proudly brags about them when asked about his family.

-And I could keep going forever haha….but here’s a little fun with that

Some spicy thoughts below:

-The best most praising and body-worshipping pregnancy sex

-He runs warm baths to help with body aches and helps you wash up. Also really enjoys putting lotion on your belly when the stretch marks start showing up. -Is very creative with positions so you can be comfortable haha

-Maternity clothing shopping always gets a little frisky haha

-And he can’t help it, but he thinks you’re even prettier while pregnant, so he definitely has a higher sex drive to match yours. -Sneaking quickies in between the baby napping in the evening

-If you’re self conscious of your body after pregnancy, he will cure that with the best orgasms of your life

-Definitely develops a breeding kink after the first child haha

-Is still the sweetest husband ever and always takes the time in between raising the kids to let you know how much he loves you…..and then he proceeds to show you how much 🤩

[jayujus]

JOAH (I LIKE YOU) - CHAPTER 17

— 17 : new best fran

written ~ 0.4k + smau

y/n and wonyoung were on their way to their school's campus for the dance event. it was a bit awkward since the two never spoke in person before, but wonyoung tried her best to keep a conversation the whole time.

"are you sure they'll be okay with modeling for me?" y/n nods, feeling a sense of nervousness in wonyoung's voice. "i think you'll be fine. a few of them have experience in modeling..." she smiles at y/n's reassurance. "thank you, y/n."

"of course!"

once they'd arrived, riki had immediately taken notice of the two girls, surprised that she was here with someone new. the girls looked around in hoping to spot someone they knew, but riki was already making their way to them.

"hi,"

"hi," the girls say in unison. "uhh so what do you need me to get started on?" y/n asks, feeling extremely awkward with riki's presence.

it didn't make much sense to her as to why he would talk to her out of the blue and ask for her help when he passed every opportunity he had before.

"umm can you help me and taki with the lights? if it's not too hard,"

"that's fine. can wonyoung help too?" riki hums.

__

wonyoung finishes her job, excusing herself to go to the bathroom, leaving y/n with riki and taki.

y/n smiles at wonyoung and goes back to setting up the lights. riki stops and looks at her, seeing her focused on finishing up, he's unsure of whether he should say something.

taki cringes at riki, quickly finishing up and leaving to go help jongseob and soul.

riki bites his lip, sending a glare at taki's way for leaving them alone before finishing up himself.

"i'm done.. is there anything else for me to do?" riki looks around, "umm i'm not sure. i think everything else is already being taken care of. the lights were the main thing." she nods, "are you leaving now?"

"i can't, wonyoung needs to scout people for her magazine. that's why i invited her to come."

__

it was about 7pm, wonyoung and y/n were sitting on the bleachers, listening to the dance team talk to the audience.

"did something happen with you and riki? it's so awkward with you both..." y/n shrugs, not really sure how to answer. "i don't know,, i liked him for a while but he never liked me back... and he was awfully mean about it too so eventually i realized it's better for me to move on, but for some reason he chose to text me for help on this event."

"and you moved on?" y/n hesitates, but she hums after a few seconds. "he must've developed feelings for you because he missed your attention, then."

"that's not true."

"mhmm.... you keep telling yourself that." y/n playfully smacks wonyoung's arm. "whatever! let's talk about you... i see you got along well with jungwon today." she playfully winks, resulting in a smack by wonyoung as well.

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a/n ❀ : written part is not that good and detailed as i was hoping im so sorry T_T also if u have a username change and are on the taglist you can lmk and ill change it!

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[thesharktanksdriver]

The Devil's name is Tomie (Romantic)

I fucking love Junji ito and specifically the ever changing character of Tomie. This is kinda more of a character study of her with my interpretation

Reader in this is female

There are dark topics in this like murder, Tomie’s origins which include her being in a relationship with her teacher and general creepy dudes so be warned. Also stuff in the relationship is definitely toxic (low key kinda yandere) but it’s Tomie so you probably already assumed that. She’s not a good person by any means and is a monster in every sense of the word

this is dark and not healthy. I repeat not a healthy relationship.

This is kinda me dabbling in some darker subject matter so please be warned when reading and keep that in mind

From the vivid memories that Tomie can removed of her initial life of a normal teenage girl she knew she always had a rosy picture of romance

She’d see romances played on the screens of tv shows depicting charming men with roses and girls being gifted necklaces or letters written out of love

It was something she had craved and had become curious about

Love, what an odd thing. It must’ve been great by how all the women in those old movies would giggle like little girls and swoon

It’s perhaps why her former self had pursued a relationship with her teacher, one whom would eventually go on to dismember her along with her classmates

It was from that point she had realized that love was fake

Faker than the plastered smiles of those classmates who had killed and dismembered her as she walked back into that classroom

Watching with a smile the mental anguish her appearance had given them

Each time she then went on to be killed by pathetic men had gone to prove that to her

Love was only made up of two things, obsession and lust

But something changed suddenly

She had enrolled at a university with the goal to once again watch people’s psyche crumble for her entertainment

Looking for a victim to toy with in her endless cycle

But it was there that she ran into you, poor naive little you who had a seat beside her in class

Your…cute?. A bright young woman like herself who greets her with genuine enthusiasm

That in itself isn’t much to her, what does get her attention is when a pathetic boy tries to steal a glance beneath her skirt

She can’t say she’s surprised but before she can retaliate on her own you do it for her

Calling him out in front of everyone with raging fury of how disgusting he is

Now that…that for some reason sparks an interest in her

For almost all her previous lives from her different clones Tomie couldn’t really remember a time someone had acted in such a way

It intrigues her to pursue you

So after class is over she thanks you, asking if perhaps you’d be interested in a study session and you agree

She meets up with you at a small cafe she found herself enjoying, they made good pastries and no one had yet to screw up her caramel macchiato

It’s there that she engages with real conversation with you. There’s no fake facades like usual, she lets her guard down just enough as you ask about her interests and what she was pursuing

When she asks the same questions you light up, talking passionately

She can’t remember the time where she’d put so much effort into something

She did it before (she must’ve back when she was a normal school girl) but her mind goes blank

As hours tick on she doesn’t feel the passage of time until you suggest walking her back to the dorms

And she agrees

You hover by her side, giving security from male gazes sent both of your ways

You’d glare sending them scattering off which made her hold back giggles

She felt nice

So she concludes that perhaps she’d spend more time with you

Meeting up with you from this point onwards becomes a tradition for her

Along with spending her lunch with you talking and idly chatting about the latest fashion

She likes that you actually listen to her, treat her more than just something to claim or impress

You genuinely engage with her interests in the refined and even pick up the latest copy of vogue when you have the chance and money

You see her as Tomie, an individual that no one (not even her other incarnations) can replicate

Sure she is a bitch at times, one who’s words cut harsher than knives but you also know that she is honest in those words of criticism

You take her for what she is even though the bad overweighs the good (but you don’t know about that. She keeps her cool when with you)

She begins to realize she has formed some sort of attachment to you but she’s not sure what type

It feels more intimate and intense than friendship but for the longest time she’s in denial that it is love

Or at least her own slightly twisted version of it

And it stays that way for the longest while until you end up crying in her unblemished arms

Apparently one of your professors had been acting creepy towards you. Constantly sending odd glances your way and trying to get you to stay after class to talk to you privately

It was freaking you out, especially since he was a well regarded teacher and no one would possibly believe your words

Whatever is in her mind pauses at that, flashes of HIM and what had initially started her never ending cycle play in her head

It is then two questions are answered in her mind

1. Why was she so interested in you?

It now stares her in the face, you remind her of her former self

You exemplify what she remembers of that initial life so long ago. The innocence, the passion, the hope and Shortcomings of how girls are treated by society

The fear that comes with it from being taken advantage of by men whom await around corners like monsters

Back then she’d been to naive and cocky to see how her teacher had taken advantage of the opportunity. She thought at the time she was in control, that it was ok but it wasn’t

But your smart enough not to fall into their claws, you see the red eyes peering from the darkness and know to run

What you do not know though is that the beautiful blue of Tomie’s eyes are an entirely new monster that you had run willing into

With each incarnation each Tomie loses a bit of their humanity, becoming more and more removed from the original

They’d all accepted it at that point, hell she had reviled in it for awhile that she was removed from humanity

But due to you she now craves it, she craves to have you to help her feel alive again form how utterly human you are

And 2. That feeling was love…you what she assumed to be love

It’s such a removed concept to her now. Twisted by the past memories of dead Tomie’s of “Love” they’d revived from their followers

Obsession and lust being the key ingredients to that mysterious concept

But now as she whips away your tears with a certain gentleness she sees the love for so long ago

Love she saw in those black and white films of a childhood long past

Or something like it

At heart Tomie knows this love is likely twisted, dark at the centre of it all yet she does not care

All she cares is that she’s feeling something

So kisses you, stopping your tears as you reciprocate back surprised but happy

She smirks as she pressed deeper into your mouth, hearing your little sounds

Her hands pull you closer to her, she can now feel your racing heart beat pounding in your chest. It’s cute especially as hers is unbeating

That night when you fall asleep at her side, curled up in her luxury blankets, head on a silk pillow as your hair formed a halo around you, she stares

You look like an angel, you are one…one that’s now trapped in the hands of a devil masquerading as an angelic being

She makes your relationship with her public immediately after that, hanging off your arm as you both head to classes

You get jealous stares but her angry glares stop people as the stew in anger

Your teacher whom was bothering you soon ends up getting kicked out his job and you cry happy tears to her

Unknowing to the fact she pulled some strings to have it that way

That’s how she likes it though, you completely unknowing to her true actions

And she intends to keep it that way no matter what

For she is now your loving girlfriend, whom always kisses your cheek goodbye and makes sure that everyone knows your hers and she’s yours

As you can tell she’s extremely possessive in more ways than you’d expect

She hides it well from your view but to everyone else they get the message

Stay the fuck away

Her world revolves around you and so should yours

She almost always has a hand on you, whether that be the small of your back, your hand, an arm wrapped around your shoulder or your waist

It gives her security and she enjoys the warmth she feels from you

Who needs friends anyways when you have your loving girlfriend?, family isn’t needed much either but she lets a pass on that

Cause she can slither her way into that social bubble and make them love her

Make them encourage you to possible tie the knot if your open to marriage

It doesn’t matter much to her but she does admit a wedding would be fun and it would make it official that your both tied to each other to the eyes of everyone else

If your Family’s homophobic or generally awful she’s 100% using that to advantage and getting you to cut them out your life

That way it’s just you and her

Tomie absolutely loves coordinating outfits with you that compliment one another or are complete opposites

Cause on the one hand the matching outfits show that your a couple and your both super cute together

But on the other hand with opposite aesthetics it’s also really cool when your in something pastel while she’s draped in red and leather with an arm around your waist

Whatever your tastes are in style she accommodates it to these fun little ideas she has

Speaking of which, Tomie is actually quite happy to try out quite a bit of dating ideas she saw from online and tv

Stuff like theme parks, movies, museums, plays and travel are ones she really wants to experience with you

But She’s equally happy to try out your suggestions as well since your the only input she actually cares about

She’s also protective but you probably already expected that as well

The minute any aggression is aimed at you she’s sending death glares and planning to ruin that persons life

Sometimes she won’t do it depending on the day and the amount of effort she wants to put into that

But on days she’s feeling petty or they did something really bad their entire life is gonna be in the garbage bin

No ifs, and’s or buts about it

This sentiment also extends to Other Tomie’s she runs into

She kills the other versions of herself whom interrupt her routine with you because of the fear they’ll steal you away

While they are also Tomie each has their own sense of individuality compared to the others which leads them to butt heads constantly

They are the same person but also not simultaneously

And with that comes the threat of them as well

For if they are her they’ll also want you to themselves just as she does once they see what makes you special to her

And she refuses to share you with anyone else including herself

You don’t know of this of course, she brushes it under the rug as she links her hand with yours and drags you off to a new shop

Telling you to find a nice dress as she deals with something urgent with a smile

With her she baths you with the same luxuries she surrounds herself with

You get the best just as she does, it’s to be expected since you are her beloved, her love, her dearest

Unlike most incarnations of herself your Tomie actually puts some effort into stuff

She likes domestic life, whether that be helping you with a meal or engaging in small but fun activities

Their enjoyable because you make them enjoyable for her

Which is something that can’t be said for the other Tomie’s and herself before she met you

She lives, breaths and wakes up each morning to feel your love for her and her love for you

No matter how actually twisted it really is

Because of this Tomie won’t let you go even in death

When the time comes that you are aging she WILL make sure that your still at her side

She curses you to a fate similar to her own except there are no other versions of you

Your just put in an immortal cycle, die and then wake up rejuvenated and back to normal

No memory of said death or life except for the fact that Tomie is your loving girlfriend

And when this happens you awake at her side in bed, her smiling face staring back at you as she caresses your cheek softly

Then giving you a kiss to seal your fate once again

To love Tomie is to suffer but for Tomie to love you is a fake eden that the devil herself protects

There is no apple to bite as to realize the truth of her ever consuming love

[jkslipppiercing]

Bumblebee 03 | jjk

• summary: Jeon Jungkook was your high school bully. What are you gonna do when your parents are forcing you to marry him as the country's most well-known CEO?

• genre: enemies to lovers, slowburn, high school bully to lover, arranged marriage, CEO/billionare romance, marraige of convenience.

• pairing: ceo!jk x reader, high school bully!jk, asshole!jk.

• warnings: cursing, kinda infidelity (?), close proximity, "my wife" moment lol

• WC: 4k

• taglist

• index

• previous/next

Cold. You feel cold.

You wake up to an empty bed, staring groggily at the ajar space beside you. Oh. So he left.

You check your phone, eager to know what time it is; 8:03 AM.

So he must've left for work. You should talk to him as soon as possible, concerning what happened yesterday. Not only are you curious to know what caused Jungkook such a nightmare, but you're also worried about his well-being. You want him to be okay, of course.

Knowing he should be at his agency by now, considering it's an early Monday morning with an agency he has to manage, you get off the bed and head to the bathroom. You freshen up, then put on a simple work attire of a white button-up shirt and navy blue skirt. The shirt hugs your breasts comfortably, while the skirt adds a touch to your curves, making you look professional, but elegant. You throw on a pair of white heels, and head for the door.

Jungkook already explained that he’s had a private chauffeur that chaperones him wherever he goes. With you now being a part of his life, his chauffeur will now be under your command as he will go about driving his own car. With that being said, you send a quick text to Mr. cha, the chauffeur, and ask him to meet you by the gates. He arrives at the mansion’s entrance before you, accompanying you to the car by the gates.

Shortly after, you both start heading to Jeon Modeling Agencies.

●●●

Holy shit. It’s massive.

It’s your first ever time visiting Jungkook’s company. You’ve never come here, never having a reason to, and so you stare up at the building feeling intimidated. He manages to keep ahold of this all by himself? That’s incredibly impressive. Props to Jeon Jungkook.

You thank Mr. cha as you smile at him; “Thank you, Mr. Cha. I will make sure to shoot you a quick text when I need a ride back home.” He nods his head in acknowledgement then bows, motioning for you to go about your day. You do just that, entering the building then heading straight to the reception desk.

She smiles kindly at you, “Good morning! How may I assist you today?” You return the smile right back at her. “I need to speak to Mr. Jeon.” Her eyes go wide.

“Mr. Jeon? The CEO?” She stares at you in confusion. So what?

“Yes, the CEO. May I ask the reason why you’re so surprised?” You look at her expectantly waiting for a reasonable answer.

“O-oh, well, don’t worry about it.” She plays with her fingers nervously. “If you continue straight in that direction, there’d be an elevator which you can use to go up to the 15th floor. From there, head to the right towards Mr. Jeon's secretary's desk, and you can take it on from there.” She continues to fiddle with her hands, her earlier bubbly personality long gone.

“Well…thank you.” You awkwardly throw a lop-sided smile her way as you carry on with the directions she instructed you with. You use the elevator, arriving at the 15th floor as you take a right and beeline toward the secretary’s desk.

She types away at the computer in front of her, not sparing you a glance. “Um, excuse me?” You clear your throat, expecting her to throw as much as a glance your way. She doesn’t, her eyes staying fixated on the screen as she speaks, “How may I help you?” She mumbles, a cold tone seeping through her smooth voice.

“I came here to speak to Mr. Jeon.” You place a hand on your hip, dissatisfaction evident on your features. She should show a bit of respect, at least.

“Pffft.” Her snort takes you off-guard as she finally looks up from the screen and at you, laughing right in your face. “And what makes you think someone like you is allowed into his office?” She mocks. “Only high-class people from CEOs to business associates are allowed to speak to Mr. Jeon. Visits you should be making are to the hair salon.” She smirks. What the fuck? Who the fuck does this bitch think she is?

Just when you open your mouth to retaliate, the giant wooden door beside you opens. You hear a deep, ice cold voice that cuts through the air like a knife. “Yoona, you’re fired.” Jungkook speaks, his eyes never once leaving you as he directs his words to his secretary.

Yoona’s eyes widen. “W-what?” She fumbles.

“Did I stutter?” His eyes now look at her, void of emotion. “Pack your bags and leave. I expect to never see you step foot into this building ever again. Understood?” He raises an eyebrow when Yoona takes longer to respond. He speaks again, more strictly this time.

“The last thing I need is a crude secretary who thinks she’s important enough to disrespect my future wife.”

His eyes stray to yours as he feels you staring at him, expression beyond stunned.

Yoona stays quiet as she begins packing her stuff. In the meantime, Jungkook places his hands on your waist and pulls you to him. Losing your balance almost causes you to bump your head on his chin, as he raises a hand to your face, only to pinch your chin between his thumb and index finger. He inches closer to your ear, huskily whispering: “Why are you here, bumblebee?” Your ears go red when you see Yoona freeze from the corner of your eye. At this angle, Jungkook looks like he’s kissing your neck rather than whispering something to you. You push yourself away from him as you look him in the eye, your words laced with an implication aimed at Yoona to understand. “I think we should take this to the office, Mr. Jeon.” He smirks as he pulls your wrist, entering the office and closing the door behind him.

Outside, Yoona stays rooted to her spot as she fumbles to reach into her purse and pull out her phone, hastily sending a text to her colleagues’ groupchat, asking them to meet up. She claims to have an important matter to discuss about the young and single hot-shot CEO, not being so single anymore.

“May I know what the fuck you are doing here, Y/N?” Jungkook’s harsh tone catches you off guard. You came to check on him…after last night. Is that so bad?

“I just thought I’d drop by, see how work is going…” You hesitate. Maybe Jungkook doesn’t remember what happened, and you both will just carry on living like nothing did happen.

You start walking around his office, admiring the abstract art of naked women he has hung on his walls. One of them is an envision of a women that shows off an incredible burst of confidence- which shows from the way she’s spreading on the canvas, and the way she’s painted- yet, she has no face. Over her features are scribbles of black ink. Almost like confidence is an empowerment of freedom. She’s not trapped in a body or an identity. She’s free.

You begin tracing the painting with your fingertips, Jungkook’s voice startling you yet again.

“Why are you here, Y/N?” This time, the tone of his voice slices through the air, piercing through your ears and aiming straight for your conscience. He doesn’t want you here.

Your eyes narrow, brows scrunching in irritation. You still have your back to him, eyes on the painting as you speak. “Why do you care?” Your tone is just as irritated as his, mirroring the annoyance.

“Go home. I don't want you here.” You turn around in time to see him lean on his desk, hands gripping the wood on either side of him as his knuckles turn white. He grips the edges tighter when he sees you scoff. You take slow steps toward him, your heels clicking against the cold marble floor.

“And who are you, Mr. Jeon, to tell me what to do,” You’ve now stopped in front of him, planting yourself so close to his body that your nose almost nudges his. He breathes heavily, his eyes boring into yours, speaking louder than they’d ever have when looking at you.

“You must be so delusional…to tell me what I can and can’t do.” You whisper with such demise- you don’t recognize your voice.

Jungkook’s jaw clenches as a muscle ticks. His eyes trail to the painting you were earlier staring at, his focus straying from you to it. You notice, so you lean closer to him, just as you grab the area between his jaw and neck, your thumb resting on his cheek. You turn his face enough that he’s looking at you again. “I do whatever I fucking want to, Mr. Jeon.” Your voice sounds from in between your lips in a mere whisper.

You raise the other hand to plant on the other side of his neck, the other still resting on part of his jaw. You look like you’re cradling his head is a way that makes him look so fragile, as you lean your head forward. “I know you’re not mad at me.” You speak , your voice sounding just above a whisper. He mirrors the action, your foreheads now resting against one another. Both your eyes are sealed shut, your breaths mingling there in the silence.

Your hands snake around his head and into his hair, massaging his scalp and combing through the tousled strands. A low hum sounds from him, voicing his thanks. You know why he’s acting this way. He’s stressed. He fears you’re going to run away now that you've seen what happened the night before. Underneath the angry exterior is just a lonely Jungkook in need of some love. And you’re going to give it to him. But for now, you need to understand his perspective.

You struggle to find your voice. “Talk to me, Jungkook.” His head unbinds from yours as he lifts it to looks at you. Gone is the cold hearted Jungkook, and in his stead is a vulnerable one. His eyes plead with a silent question, and you smile in a soft understanding.

“Tonight?” He asks.

“Tonight.” You confirm

Tonight is the night where no secrets are left to keep.

●●●

10:00 PM, on the dot…still no Jungkook.

Tictoc, tictoc, tictoc.

The ticking of the clock taunts you. This is torture, considering you’ve been waiting for four hours. You’ve never had to wait this long for anything.

After you left the Agency, you thought you and Jungkook had already agreed to meet back at home at about 6:00 PM. He promised you, claiming he’s going to explain everything. Everything, as in, his family background. You agreed, arriving home to prepare for the night. You had decorated the dining table with all sorts of appetizers and main-dishes; you loved to cook. You put on a comfortable, yet classy red dress, feeling like you should be ready for whatever was going to happen.

You had planned everything out, only for Jungkook to come back home at midnight, smelling like another woman.

You’d been fast asleep by then, the food left untouched.

●●●

Jungkook’s POV

He unlocks the front door with ease, the warm and fresh scent of roses welcoming him. You must’ve lit a candle, it smells hella good in here.

He never lit candles around his house. He never had miniature statues resting on his shoe rack. He never had cute little notes and reminders scattered around his house in the most random places. Yet it’s all because of you.

As he enters further into the abode, another sight welcomes him. It’s you, hunched over the dining table while you sleep peacefully, in front of you situated are multiple plates filled with all types of food. You must’ve cooked for him. Jungkook feels a tinge of guilt pinch at his insides. He shouldn’t have been fucking around at a gentlemen's club all the while you were cooking for him. And waiting for him. You waited. He knows that because he saw the multiple messages you had texted him with your phone, at the moment bunched up in your hand. It seems like you fell asleep while scrolling on social media, refusing to succumb to your exhaustion. You were always stubborn, so you fell asleep trying your best not to.

Jungkook’s guilt deepens, and an angry frown adorns his features. He’s angry at himself. Angry at himself for acting like such an asshole. He was always one, but this is just next-level-shit.

He heads into his room, changes out of the clothes that he feels oh-so-disgusting in. He feels like shit, probably because he’s acting like one. He really done went to a strip club while you put all of this effort into doing something for him. To listen to him. And he kept you waiting. He will never think of himself the same way again.

But Jungkook isn’t used to this. He isn’t used to thinking about a girl this much. Usually, he would just fuck a woman to satisfy his needs and get rid of her the next day. Although he feels like he truly needs to fuck the shit out of you seven days a week, he also cares for you. He thinks about you all day, what you’re doing, if you’ve eaten, if you slept well. That's why he needs you beside him all the time, so he has a plan. He needs to get you to bed first, though.

A girl was all over him tonight at the club, despite him showing no visible interest in her. He was thinking about you the whole time, but he’s a coward. He isn’t ready to tell you all about his life yet; what he’s feeling. He’s scared, wants to live like nothing’s wrong for a bit more. So to avoid the so-called “talk” you were planning to have with him, he went to a random club to get drunk and forget.

He did, essentially, get drunk, but it wasn’t enough to drown the voices in his head.

After putting a pair of sweats on- no shirt because he’s all hot and bothered- he heads back to where you were to find you awake. You have an adorable pout on your lips, your face is all puffy, and Jungkook struggles to keep his expression neutral. You’re so cute.

“You’re here?” You ask with a slight tilt of your head. He nods and walks to you carefully. Only then does he notice the empty bottle of wine on the table. You were hunched over it, hiding it from you. He wants to burry himself in the deepest, darkest pits of the earth if he’s the reason you got drunk.

“Let’s get you to bed, sweetheart.” His voice is merely above a whisper as he goes to pick you up from the chair.

“No.” Your response comes out strict. He stays rooted to his spot, waiting for what you’re about to say. “We need to talk.” You mumble. You’re not drunk enough to blackout, but the exhaustion mixed with the groggy state caused by alcohol is enough to get you drowsy.

“We will. Tomorrow.” He poorly attempts a reassuring smile, failing miserably, but of course: you don’t notice.

“Where were you, Jungkook? Why didn’t you reply back to me? I was worried sick.” He freezes at your irritated tone. You’re mad…well, obviously, you have the right to be. He acted like such a dick. He knows that.

“I- I got caught up at work.” He actually checked out of the agency earlier than usual today, only to visit a strip club with a person he knew would understand him. He always called that person when he was in too deep in his thoughts and needed a quick break. He needed a break from everything- from you haunting the entirety of his thinking- and hitting taehyung up was the best solution.

He doesn’t mention that, though.

You’re unconvinced, and you make sure he gets the memo when you settle on an agitated frown on your lips. He finds the sight too cute for him to handle- it makes him feel even more guilt for lying to you- so he looks away.

He proceeds to you when he doesn’t hear your protests anymore, picking you up from the chair bridal style as you stifle a yawn. “I hate you…” You mumble again, balling your hand into a fist and putting all your might into the weak punch you muster to his chest. “I deserve that and much more, sweetheart.” He whispers under his breath, quiet enough for you not to hear.

Your head rests on his shoulder, your hands encircling around his neck a second later to find some sort of stability. He finds the position comfortable, and all he wants from the world is to sit down on the sofa in this exact position and fall asleep; but he’s too guilty for that, right now.

So he settles on plopping you on your side of the bed before he whispers to you, “Y/N…” Your eyes are half open, state drifting in and out of consciousness. You don’t succumb to sleep, though, you hum back a tired response.

“I’m going to change your clothes for you, okay?” He asks softly. He still expects you to say no, you’re still mad at him; but you’re not awake enough to acknowledge that. Not really focusing on his question, you mumble an incoherent response then nod your head and swat his shoulder. You giggle in the most drunk way possible, falling asleep the minute right after.

He stays careful, bundling your dress from your ankles all the way to your chest, taking it off through your head, cautious enough to not disturb you. Just after your dress is neatly hung in his closet- in the section he made for your clothes, as the walk-in closet is still under construction- he realizes something.

You’re not wearing a bra.

It was a silk dress, so he understands your preference. He’s not oblivious, knowing the outline of the bra would’ve taken away the essence of the dress. The purpose of the silk was to hang loosely around your breasts, giving them a flattering shape, overall making them look good. Had you actually worn the bra, it would’ve ruined the appearance of the effortless beauty of the dress.

Instead of being shocked or entranced by your boobs, he’s respectful about it.

He simply takes one of his favorite shirts and puts it on you, letting you sleep.

Soon after, he turns the lights off and lays on the bed with his back to you, giving way for his thoughts to consume him entirely.

●●●

Y/N’s POV

Your feet paddle against the floor as you make your way to the kitchen, wanting to grab a cup of coffee to gather your thoughts.

You woke up to an empty bed- as usual- with Tylenol and a cup of water on the nightstand, waiting for you to wake up. A painful headache attacked you as soon as you woke up, so you happily agreed to take the medication.

As you make your way to the kitchen area, aromas of deliciously cooked bacon and eggs welcome you. You follow the scent like a starving puppy, eyes wide and curious, and find yourself face with a breathtaking scene. Jungkook is shirtless, has an apron on, and is cooking the bacon while facing you. His muscles flex with each and every movement, from flipping the pan to fetching the seasonings on the counter, and you have never salivated harder over something. Or someone.

“You’re awake.” Jungkook’s dimple makes a grand appearance as he smiles at you. Your heart just melted.

You try your best to reciprocate the smile, but your mind is prickling at you. You waited for Jungkook yesterday, but he didn’t show. Why? You don’t remember anything after that. You do remember drinking an entire wine bottle because of how upset you were, though. You were never a drinker, you get drunk very easily; a lightweight.

“Jungkook…” He looks at you as he turns the stove off- deeming the food done and ready serve- and then takes the apron off. He stays in his grey sweatpants, serving the food on a single plate. He hums to you in question.

“Are you overworking yourself?”

Out of all the things you were about to say, Jungkook had expected you to question him about being late. Instead, you had asked if he was overworking himself, as if you weren’t suspicious if he wasn’t at work. You trusted him enough that you didn’t suspect anything else.

He was going to tell you everything today, even going to the strip club. But with you acting this way and being understanding about it, he’s afraid again. He doesn’t know what your reaction is going to be, but he knows that everything needs to be cleared out. He shouldn’t be immature.

“Y/N, I went to a gentlemen's club yesterday.” He just says it. Why hesitate? It’s only going to make things worse.

“What?” A single word escapes your lips, and he panics.

“A strip club.”

“Oh.”

There’s a silent beat occupying the space before you speak again.

“Were you trying to avoid us talking?” You're blank. Neutral. Expressionless. It scares him.

His eyes are wide, racing through all of the possibilities in his head of not telling you, but he goes on. “Yes.”

You still betray no emotion, blankly staring at Jungkook, who now sits opposite you on the table. He had set a plate of bacon and eggs in front of you before sitting down.

“Let me make one thing clear,” You speak with a smile on your face, but it’s fake. He can see right through you; you’re disguising your true feelings with fake ones.

He waits for you, “This is nothing but business, Mr. Jeon.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. Jungkook’s anxiety spikes. Fuck.

“And what do you mean by that?” He knows exactly what you mean. He doesn't want to believe it.

“I mean,” You take a deep breath, “Our whole relationship is purely for convenience. It is only purposeful for business, and it will stay that way.” You speak cautiously, but making your point clear.

He almost flinches. You’re basically saying that you and Jungkook shouldn’t mix your personal feelings and lives with each other’s. You’re basically telling him, there’s no need for him to talk about his life because you don’t want to know anymore. Everything is just business. Ouch.

Jungkook feels a stab straight to his heart. He wanted to open up to you, he really did he just wasn’t ready for it yet. He didn’t want to feel betrayed, and that’s exactly what you are doing right now. He kept running away from facing reality solely because he didn’t want to ache anymore. He was tired of the pain he had to relive and re-experience every passing second of the day. Is it so hard to understand?

Gone is the vulnerable Jungkook, instead is the cold one. The distant CEO who doesn’t befriend anyone. The lonely twenty-seven year old who deals with everything on his own. It has always been this way, and it will always be. He should’ve known. He clung on to an invisible string of hope, only for it to snap in half before he had the chance to believe in it.

Jungkook’s face turns into one void of emotion. He wears a blank mask that covers the true identity of his feelings. Right now, he’s hurt. When he speaks again, he uses the same cold tone he uses when he’s being professional with someone, just like now. “Deal.” He offers his hand for a handshake, which you happily take.

He gets up and heads for the bathroom, turning around just in time to catch you staring; “Oh, and Y/N…” He pauses, making it look like he’s thinking about what he’s about to say, when in actuality, he's mocking you. Keeping you on your toes.

“Starting today, I’m your boss, and you’re my personal assistant.”

Challenge accepted, Jeon Jungkook.

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