#i would like to be kinder to myself

[pasta5284]

learning abt resilience & mindfulness practices is like. dont cry just thinking about being kind to yourself. dont cry realizing youre allowed to treat yourself well. dont cry dont cry dont cry

[uncanny-tranny]

The funniest thing is that the stereotype that trans people will become less aromantic/asexual once they transition is false for me. I became even more aroace.

[spaceratprodigy]

🎉 [ Art from 2022-2023 ] 🎉

Happy Birthday to my most favorite person in the world, the love of my life 🖤

I still can't believe this'll make our 10th year of being best friends and even more I can't believe we get to celebrate our 8th anniversary this summer 💖💕

Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links

[mobolanz]

and this is a goodbye . You won't be hearing from me anymore

[franeridan]

currently at around ch46 of dunmeshi and i honestly hope going forward kabru becomes More of a bastard cause if he doesn't I feel like the fandom has been doing my boy so dirty

[tricksterlatte]

I saw someone on the bird website point out that just because people disagree with a fellow fan doesn't give them the right to bully or harass said fan, especially in such cruel ways (they were body shaming a well known Overwatch person because she shared a selfie, and the hate originated from her opinions on the character).

It's been driving me crazy how people somehow forgot you can disagree with someone's opinions without being an asshole. Why do we condemn bigotry or cruelty when it's directed at our friends, but hurl it out ourselves when opportunity arises to bash someone we dislike? It just makes me so sad.

This isn't about a specific situation but it's a problem i've noticed over the years. I have been both a perpetrator and a victim of this (if I said otherwise, I'd be a liar. I've been on the internet since I was 10 and have been active in multiple fandoms), but I don't want to contribute whatsoever to that type of environment anymore. We have to talk the talk and walk the walk with this one, or we will continue to be miserable. If you dislike something or someone, either communicate if this person is supposed to matter to you or vice versa, or just block them, mute them, unfollow them. Whichever suits your comfort level for whatever the situation may be. If you hate something or someone but still proceed to follow them, check their profile, and grab screenshots or QRTs to make fun of them, whether with petty jabs or actual bigotry and cruelty, you are not only making other people into targets. You are sending yourself into a spiral that will only harm you in the long run.

I know how addicting social media can be. I know how the instant gratuitous relief can feel when you vent about something within an echo chamber. And I don't think the answer is just don't vent, don't misconstrue my words. I think the answer is does this make you happy? I don't think this type of habit makes anyone happy. I know sometimes people change, and I really hope people can and do.

I don't say this as an accusation or to be mean myself, I say this as someone who suffered on my own end, not only from taking the brunt of harassment but also from indulging it on occasion. I used to be horrible about this type of fixation on things I hated within fandom during my prime days in my earliest tumblr fandoms, and I nearly fell into this trap again over the past few years. My irl situation was entering a state of despair, and during those times, without anyone trustworthy that shared these spaces with me and that knew me well in return, fandom felt like the one place where I had a semblance of control. That doesn't excuse belittling people. It never does. A reason is not justification.

It's a special type of hell, for example from my personal experience, to receive dozens of suibait anons about fanfic you published, whether it was from things I left blatantly tagged and easily avoidable, over my writing not being as good as others' within these spaces, or because people admitted they were envious of something outside of my control. Or people making fun of my cosplay photos or treating me as an object to be sexualized, no matter who they were or how they identified. I had old Retrospring anons sent that exploited my vulnerability regarding events only certain groups knew about, trying me during my worst of times. When I vaguely discussed them on other websites, without sharing things being said to protect myself and to not spread drama, I was largely told I was overreacting and to just delete them. Which I did, but they kept coming. I deleted anonymous ways of contacting me and closed off most forms of contact with fandoms other than a few long running places I've known for years (thank you WWD crew you guys are the GOAT). But even so. If I didn't have the person who is now my wife there for me at the right time, I probably wouldn't be here right now. Not everyone experiencing this type of thing has anyone there for them at all.

I have a tendency to ramble, so I'll summarize here: the only type of toxicity that will ever bring people joy is toxic yaoi, toxic yuri, Toxic by Britney Spears, and the Toxic TM from Pokemon. I want to get better myself, and I'm posting this because I hope for the best for anyone who read this. If you disagree with me for this, that's okay too. If you don't think this applies to you, it might not! I don't know you. None of us know each other, which I think should be further incentive to be kind, instead of ample opportunity to be mean. If you have the choice, strive to be kind over the escapism that brings us joy. For some of us, this will be the only kindness we may ever know.

[noirandchocolate]

They instituted a 25 items or less mandate at the self check at ShopRite. Hell world.

I am quite fast at self checkery despite my number of items but the thought of having to get everything on the conveyer belt in a correct order and then bag it all as the cashier sends it flying down at me and then get done quickly enough to pay and leave before anybody behind me in line Gets Mad while also the cashier Gets Mad because I need to pay part cash part card because that’s how my gf and I split the expense all while I have to try to Appear Normal…*gnaws own arm*

It’s probably because of shoplifting but have they considered I am a very fine fellow who has never done anything wrong in her life?

[marcvscicero]

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[piplupod]

the fact that having trouble sleeping causes sleep avoidance for me is so stupid fhsdgjkl

"oh no i'm having especially vivid nightmares and waking up every hour or two and im so exhausted i can barely get thru the day without having a breakdown. hm i think the solution to this is to become afraid of and avoidant of sleep :)"

[tenta-cute]

A bit somber and meta-ish today: whenever I see someone claiming that Billy didn't deserve to be redeemed, I am tempted to ask them what they think about prisons. Considering how gleefully vindictive a lot of those people are, it wouldn't surprise me if they had very strong opinions about the concept of punishment vs rehabilitation...

[robyn-goodfellowe]

weird cuz i’m not really happy with the quality of twtt anymore but i am content. i don’t feel compelled to go at it until it’s perfect like i do with everything else like it’s imperfections feel like a part of it

[july-19th-club]

i've been blocked by this person so they will likely never see this, but in cause they're still looking - i sent you a real apology, that i meant, privately, after i'd had time to make sure i was able to approach it in an adult manner, and you responded by refusing to accept that my apology could be genuine. i don't know if it was my phrasing (i will apologize, and genuinely, for mistakes that i make, or posting things that wind up being cruel or unfair, but i will not participate in the 'grovel or you aren't really remorseful' culture that exists on sites like these. i am sorry that i shared something that hurt you. if i could have had a longer conversation with you, i would. my apology was real, and that is why it was not performative). BUT. because i can now no longer message you, i've decided if i have any chance of reaching out to you i will have to do it in public. if you do wind up reading this, i realize that you likely still will not believe me, or accept my sincerity. that's the nature of online interactions, i guess - we don't really ever know each other well enough to accept good faith from one another when we're mad.

[martinskiseyes]

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[topflights]

cracks knuckles. in the face of wanting to drop out of college i remind myself again. hangman adam page would want me to do well on my midterms hangman adam page would believe in me to get this work done hangman adam page would be proud of me for trying so hard hangman adam page would support me even if i ended up failing these tests

[isekyaaa]

this kinda turned into vent, so if you dont feel like it just ignore it!

I absolutely love your k*avetham analysis because same. I just realised this, but extremely reminds me of a friend that just doesn't get better. It's been 8 years and not only they haven't improved AT ALL, but I would also argue it's gotten worse. And it's frustrating because you've been there, tried to support them through bad times, but then you get the same rant for 124124 time and you realize that even with all the help they've been receiving, their situation hasn't improved by one bit. And you wonder, is it the fault of friends/family/psychologists not being enough, or are they a problem?

And Kaveh has been getting help! He had a lot of projects lined up, nearly all of Sumeru loves him, but you cannot be stuck in the toxic mentality forever. Alhaitham was friends with a boy that was so guilt-ridden that he was willing to sacrifice himself to get rid of it, and several years later he is still at that stage. You cannot help a person that doesn't want to be helped, and Alhaitham is not even a person who would hold your hand to resolve your issues. He would be supporting you from behind, waiting to catch you when you stumble but leaving you to it. And he has been doing that! But no wonder he's sometimes snippy at Kaveh when he's always getting dragged into his problems.

fejiwoafjiew I wrote a whole rant response to this and then tumblr ended up crashing OTL But you get me, anon!!!! It's tough, right? Seeing someone put themselves through that. And no matter how much you try to help, they just won't get better. And I will be honest with you. In my opinion, it's them that's the problem, not the people around them. They truly do not want to get better because of the responsibility that comes with it. It's just easier to suffer.

It just really sucks to see as a whole. Like look at Kaveh. He's caring, responsible, dutiful, talented, friendly, creative, opinionated, driven, ethical, self-sacrificing, etc etc etc. He has so many genuinely good traits. And yet how do the people close him know him? Someone that is chronically unhappy and complaining constantly. People like him become a self-fulfilling prophecy through self-sabotage. They push away any support they get because they can't see the big picture. It's just frustratingly sad.

I know this would never happen in game, but I just want Kaveh to leave Sumeru for a bit. He needs to just start anew. Maybe move to Mondstadt. Let the culture there engulf him in love and care. Let Venti listen to his problems a bit. Idk. Mentally my solution for any troubled soul is to move to Mondstadt HAHA. And then maybe after he gets better, he can then move back and be more resilient and just... happier.

[echoofawind]

For the AO3wrapped asks: 3, 6 and 30 please. 💚

Ahhhhhh!!! Thank you so much for asking ☺️☺️

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

This is also my answer to 28 : 😅 'Finally 39'. I don't give two pop tarts how it does on AO3. Don't care about kudos/hits/anything. I wrote that piece for me because I was inspired. I didn't have any outside expectations I had to meet. It wasn't a gift for someone (I sign myself up for too many gifts and they all wreck me and my writing because of the pressure I put on myself to be "good") . That story felt like a home run on fandom for me.

I'm proud that I put myself first in that writing. I did what I wanted. And I love the result. I hope to write more for me in the future.

6. Favorite Title Used

Lol, I forgot this was indeed 2022, wow. 'Clone A Wand' . I thought the euphemism was so obvious and cracked me up. I was surprised when folks didn't immediately figure it out. I need to finish the smutty epilogue for that one.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

It should be intuitive, and it's not a new revelation: how quickly the ideas and words flow when I get out of my own way. When I can find a way to remove all of my self imposed restrictions and limitations and roadblocks, it feels almost like flying.

Thank you for the ask!! ❤️❤️❤️