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sunatooru · 4 years

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Hi🥰i loved your blog! Can i request a headcanon for Asahi, Nishinoya and Kageyama (and maybe Aone if it's not too much) with a secret admirer who leaves chocolates and sweets (milk for kageyama) and cute notes to their desk like "don't forget to drink water today" "you look so cute today" "you make my heart go boom boom" or "Don't mind! You can work harder for the next match, i trust you!" if they lose a match. But somehow they never can caught her? Thank you!!!

Thank youuu xx I had to cut some parts so Tumblr could let me post it haha

Asahi

* You'd seen him around school before, I mean with his height it was hard to miss

* He seem so mature as if he had his life together, you thought he was cute but nothing worth acting upon

* Then one day he was standing at you classroom door stuttering as he ask if he could borrow spare notebooks

* You watched how he always had a soft yet nervous smile, how as intimidating as he seemed he was just a soft boy who didn't want to let others down

* When you heard about how all his spikes were getting shut down against Dateko, you took it into your hands to hold him up

* You would wake up a few minutes early to buy some treats to give to him

* You waited about 5 seconds at his desk before you chickened out and wrote down a quick notes next to the small tray of chocolate

* Cue panic 'Someone left their things on my desk' 'omg what if this was for someone else but got our desks confused' Yeah heart was pumping

* When he finally opened the letter he was shocked

* "Don't mind! All your spikes will make it next time, Ace x"

* But he didn't go back to the club so You would leave something every day

* "I'm sure you'll play again one day x"

* "You hair has gotten so long, it suits you x"

* He once saw you leave his classroom but didn't add the two as he nervously avoided your gaze

* And then the day finally arrives where he played once again

* "I told you, you're my ace! x"

* He's blushing hard at this. He kept all your notes, keeps one on him whenever he need reassurance

* And this time he writes something back

* "I hope to hear your voice one day"

Nishinoya

* The boy is grinning like full on cheeks in pain grinning

* "You're the best libero I've ever seen! You make my heart go boom boom boom"

* I'm telling you right now he's walking with so much suave the whole day

* He's showing off this note to everyoneeee

* Shows his bestie Tanaka and laughs at his friend getting jealous that he didn't receive a note too

* you would pick stuff up after school ( sleep just triumphs anything else ) But also you wanted to add a little touch to it, seeing as you wasn't ready to tell him things face to face

* So now you leave him a couple of lollipops and another note

* "You're very cute when you're happy"

* He looks forward to a note everyday now, he wants to know who you are

* Tried to use some weird tv tricks to uncover clues. Flopped of course

* And then the game against seijoh happened where they lost

* You could see the whole teams mood bring down, especially with Yuu it made your heart break

* The guy who was always lifting everyone up was trying so hard not to break

* You left a note "I know you'll win the next game!""

* He didn't come in that day but that didn't stop you

* "I can't wait to see you play again!"

* "I love how brave you are to receive like that. It's amazing!"

* You motivated him so much

* He couldn't let you down, he needs to be his best if he wants to meet you

* One day he came late and was only met by a note

* "I hope you enjoy this desert, it's actually my favourite"

* Huh? Where is it?

* Did someone take it? He's annoyed, he wanted to eat what you loved

* He sees Tanaka looking guilty

* He's trying to rolling thunder over Tanaka now (don't worry he kept your note safe)

Kageyama

* At first you was intimidated by him, his presence was just huge

* He would usually be alone and he didn't seem phased about it

* You found out he has a milk preference

* He was buying it from the vending machine everyday, you laughed at the boy with such a intimidating face who could become so soft from a simple drink like milk

* You started leaving notes for him and also bought him his milk drink every Monday (you'll be broke if you did everyday)

* "The vending machine is ripping you off! Here's some better and cheaper milk "

* Confused, what do you mean ripping off?

* And then he tasted the drink and fell in love (with the milk)

* "You're very skilled at setting"

* "You're weird quick is so cool!"

* "Don't forget to drink today!"

* Okay he's starting to like you now, he's not sure who to talk to about having a secret admirer (which is something he realised after his sister told him)

* "Kageyama how comes you always have a drink at your desk?" Hinata ask

* "Uhh someone leaves them here"

* "What??? Someone just buys you milk and that's it?"

* "Yeah"

* You accidentally forgot one day and he was really confused

* He was actually a little worried so he decided to leave a note at the end of the day

* "Hello there was no drink today and I hope you are okay. I mean the drink is not that important really but I did miss your note today - Tobio"

* You squealed when you read it

* "Sorry about yesterday! I'm okay and I missed not giving a note too "

* He's smiling as he drinks his milk

Aone

* Protect him at all costs! Please he's so sincere it makes me want to cry at people judging him by his appearance, he's a kind mannered boy and an absolute gentleman (unrelated but important)

* You absolutely adored him. You found him so interesting in how he wasn't a man of many words yet was so kind and respectful to others even if they are initially scared of him

* Your heart actually aches when you hear people speaking about him and how he needs to open up and be more social or else people will leave him (the urge to fight them is real)

* Once you saw him smile when Karasuno's Hinata spike won a game and you vowed to get him to smile like that again

* It started will a short note on his desk accompanied by a small tray of chocolates on a Friday

* "You're instincts as a middle blocker are so sharp! I hope you have a great day today"

* He was a bit hesitant with the gift but whispered a 'thank you' as he shared the chocolates around

* "I hope you like the chocolates. I just wanted to say I think you're very sweet x"

* Aww he's blushing

* He keeps this note. It made him happy so he's keeping it

* "Don't forget to drink water today as it's really hot! x"

* He listened to you, made sure to keep his water near him as you told him

* He now has an allocated section in his room that has all your notes

* He sometimes think about how you would sound like, he really wanted to meet the person who liked him in the way no other had, in the way he has never liked anyone else before

* You once left some food for lunch

* "Happy birthday! This is for you x"

* He was so happy like you took your time to cook for him specifically for his birthday

* Also, unknown to him, you could always know how he reacted to your gifts and notes thanks to your friend taking pictures for you

* You saved his reactions they same way he saved your notes

* One day when you was about to leave your note and gift you saw a wrapped up present

* "Thank you for treating me so kindly - Aone"

* This cutie made you lunch! And not just that, no no no, he bought a little teddy bear keyring!

* So now every time you go to leave something, he has left you something already

* Does he know who you are? No

* Will that stop him from falling for you? No

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #kageyama headcannon #kageyama tobio x reader #kageyama x reader #aone drabble #aone x reader #aone headcanons #aone takanobu x reader #asahi x reader #asahi headcanons #asahi azume x reader #nishinoya x you #nishinoya headcanons #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya yu x reader

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spoiledmoonbliss · 3 years

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Continuing from here: https://spoiledmoonbliss.tumblr.com/post/660512193414103040/so-there-has-been-a-reckoning-in-wangxianmdzs

Part 2 of the Shinocchi Saga, because it's not over. More people have come forward with their stories.

Something else that came to light was by BigBadRedPanda, where she said that Shinocchi also plagiarized fics from CN writers/fics. Which is ironic because...a lot of the authors Shinocchi harassed with her fake accounts received hateful comments accusing them of plagiarizing, and provided zero proof. Here's the link to the thread. When she confronted Shinocchi on twitter (and it wasn't even a confrontation, she just asked nicely in CN if what she wrote came from an author in weibo), she got softblocked then.... harassed on tumblr. Link to complete thread here: https://twitter.com/bigbadredpanda/status/1430608771487870982?s=21

Rikke, mdzs writer of a stone to break your soul, a song to save it also wrote a google doc detailing the level of harassment she went through because of Shinocchi. Link to thread here: https://twitter.com/yilingss/status/1431368699831721984?s=21

Another one of her victims talks about being stalked and cuberbullied by Shino since 2014 when they were both in the dramatical murder fandom. Link to complete thread here: https://twitter.com/pvc_parfait/status/1430596875283886082?s=21

And jackie (jinzixuans) also wrote her final thoughts and said that her friend, geragrena (also a popular writer of mdzs) was also harassed and stalked by Shinocchi. I've been in the fandom for over two years and I remember when geragrena was posting her fic, Off-key (book store owner lan wangji x idol wei wuxian, it was very VERY popular) and how she mentioned on her twitter that she was getting harassed and accused by "someone" that she had plagiarized someone else to use on Off-key. The harassment was so much that she ended up abandoning fandom and deleting her twitter handle. Turns out that geragrena was also Shinocchi's victim. Link to the thread here: https://twitter.com/jinzixuans/status/1430455888083517444?s=21

Yesterday, user mirrorofprincess posted screenshots of Shinocchi and what she had posted on her website. She had posted, soon after flouncing from twitter, that she wouldn't give an apology. She also seemed to blame her stalkers, and implied a lot of the people saying they were harassed by her are people who have a grudge against her. She took no responsibility. Link here to the screenshots https://twitter.com/mirrorofprinces/status/1431311423439884292?s=21

Hours after mirrorofprinces posted screenshots of Shino's post on her private website, shinocchi re-activated her twitter account and posted a half-assed apology, where she also unblocked sweetlolixo and tweeted an apology towards her and all her other victims. Unsurprisingly, people didn't fall for it and a short time later, shinocchi deactivated her twitter (AGAIN). Her (disingenuous) apologies also disappeared but here's a screenshot.

She had also posted on her private website yesterday that she would tell her version of events and her truth but today she deleted that post and instead wrote a new one saying she wouldn't speak about it anymore and she wants to "heal."

ANOTHER THING that came out today was by user Dil2510322, where she called her out on her weak ass apology and said that some of the twitter accounts that Shinocchi used to stalk, harass and cyberbully people are still up on twitter and they still have the hateful tweets. Link here: https://twitter.com/dil2510322/status/1431629258875617281?s=21

Of course there are still fans that defend her just because they enjoy her writing and don't want her to close her website. Sally aka sweetlolixo has even received messages asking her that since she already put the past behind her, that it's okay to follow both of them right.??? *facepalm* people, don't be dumbasses.

Here's another screenshot of when she had posted her apology on twitter (when it was still up), and when she tagged some of the most vocal victims of her cyberbullying. (I'm all over the place because the tumblr app sucks)

I'm sure we haven't seen the last of Shinocchi. It's very possible that if you were a popular mdzs writer during the past two years or had a popular fic and got hate comments, that it was her. Shinocchi, trying to drive other talented authors and artists out of fandom because 1) they were becoming too popular or 2) they wrote a dynamic she did not like.

This was personally disappointing because I've been a fan of Shinocchi's fics. I used to follow her on twitter where she constantly complained about being a victim of cyberbullying and how she was constantly receiving anon hate messages and comments on her site and on AO3. It was the main reason, she said, on why she had created the website and why she had locked her fics to ao3 members only. I got angry on her behalf, i sent her encouraging messages...and it turns out she was cyberbullying others, doing what she was crying about, and in such an extreme way that a lot of them left fandom. And her behavior shows that no, she did not learn her lesson and that the only thing she's sorry about is getting caught and called out.

#wangxian #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #shinocchi #cyberbullying #fandom #antis

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gogglor · 3 years

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Cap-Ironman RecWeek: What-If Wednesday

Time for another installment of @cap-ironman rec week! Today’s theme: AU’s.

I know AU’s in different settings are half the reason most people read fanfics, but they’re not really my thing on the whole. AU’s where different choices are made, or different events transpire? Absolutely. Coffee shops? Not my cup of... you know.

So, here’s my AU recommendations for mostly “turn left” scenarios. This time with an under-the-cut break so I don’t take over everyone’s timelines (sorry about that last post). Also with some summaries truncated for length.

Alone Like This

Author: GotTheSilver

Word Count: 7,452

Summary: Steve, post waking up, runs away from SHIELD, and Tony's the one who tracks him down.

Why You Should Read It:

First off, GotTheSilver’s been consistently and regularly putting out solid Stony since 2012 and not only are they not stopping, they’re only getting better. This writer doesn’t get nearly the fanfare I’d expect in Stony circles for someone who puts out this much good stuff, and here’s hoping this post can be a part of changing that.

While I am always a sucker for enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, there’s something to be said for stories where Steve and Tony hit it off right away. And watching these two very different people look at each other and see the same sense of being lost, then finding each other again is... excuse me, there’s something in my eye, ignore me.

Second Chance Lives

Author: raeldaza

Word Count: 43,872

Summary: Tony's gonna die of palladium poisoning anyway, why not join a pointless expedition to recover Captain America’s body? And after, well, why not dedicate his last few months to making sure an American hero settles into his new life? What else is he going to do, get drunk at parties?

Why You Should Read It:

This writer doesn’t write a lot for the MCU but when they do, dang.

“Tony is the one helping Steve acclimate to the new century before Avengers 2012″ is a whole genre of Stony fanfics that scratch an itch I didn’t even know I had before I started reading fanfiction, and this is one of the best ones out there. It’s got it all - Steve poorly coping with his PTSD, Tony poorly coping with his immanent mortality, some breathtakingly poor communication between the two most emotionally stunted men in the MCU, and a cat named Roomba. What’s not to love?

Should You Choose to Accept It

Author: elwenyere (look, you’re gonna be seeing a lot of them this week, sorry-not-sorry)

Word Count: 27,106

Summary: After a terrorist attack and a field operation gone wrong, the Avengers realize that Nick Fury's secrets are just the start of a much bigger mystery. Steve and Tony try to keep some things from each other as well, but that can't possibly affect the mission — right? Mission Fic + Getting Together (or Mission: Getting Together) that mashes up elements from Iron Man 3, CA: Winter Soldier, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season one, and Mission Impossible 3.

Why You Should Read It:

You can see my post yesterday for singing El’s praises, but what I really liked about this fic was how how damn creative it is. The CAWS/IM3/AOS mashup is everything I wished the actual MCU gave us and more, with well-developed characters and an exciting story to put them in. And because it’s El, you know the banter’s gonna be on point, the way the characters care for each other is gonna be emotionally constipated but touching, and the pacing’s gonna be exciting enough to draw you in and keep you there. Also, this fic doesn’t have nearly enough kudos so please go read it and fix that or I’m gonna have to try to hack AO3 and that’ll just be embarrassing for all parties involved.

What Happens In Vegas

Author: sabremc

Word Count: 161,951

Summary: “What the hell, Tony?” Rhodey demanded brusquely. Tony winced and drew the phone away from his ear. “You’ve got cops and Feds all over the hotel. I’m watching you perp walk out of the police station on repeat on CNN. They’re saying you tried to bribe Stern? Fox News has you selling weapons on the black market, and God that picture they’re using is the one from Bali in ’09. You look like shit. They wheeled Stern out and put him in an ambulance, by the way. Got some paparazzi swearing you decked the guy. Now they’ve got ‘copters following it like he’s OJ.”

“Yeah, don’t worry, Sourpatch, I’ve got it covered. Uh, though, I should probably tell you that, purely in the interests of national security and the greater good, I kind of had to fake marry that stripper-gram you sent. Thanks for that, by the way,” Tony added quickly.

Why You Should Read It:

If you’re deep enough into Stony to see posts like this on Tumblr, you probably know sabre’s what we in the business call a “big name author.” They’re prolific, they’re popular, and most importantly, they write words good (technical term). Seriously, sabre just keeps cranking out high quality stuff over and over again, raising the bar for the rest of us like a jerk (not really. I’m not bitter they write stuff so good I wish I’d thought of it first. Not at all.)

I never read stripper!Steve or stripper!Tony as a rule, but this came so widely recommended that I broke that rule and boy am I glad that I did. This is also the only fic on this list that’s a true-AU, with Steve being a non-powered vet from Afghanistan who left his army career to help Bucky and is stripping in Vegas to raise money for a prosthetic arm. He’s booked to do a private show for Tony, shenanigans ensue, and now they’re fake-married. This fic’s got some top-of-the-line banter and character development, but I particularly love it for its rich setting. Sabre paints a Vegas not just with strip clubs and blackjack tables, but KISS-themed minigolf, romantic dinners on the Eiffel tower, gaudy hotel lobbies, and making out on giant ferris wheels. It’s such a richly developed playground for the characters to play on, and through it, Steve manages to find a life for himself he’d given up on, and Tony finds multiple ways to show his kindness and depth of feeling for Steve. I know the word count’s long for this one but trust me, you’ve gotta read this fic.

Wait & Sea

Author: Lenalena

Word Count: 53,244

Summary: In which Tony and Steve get sent on an undercover mission aboard a cruise ship to make contact with Hydra. In this AU the military has kept the discovery and defrosting of Captain America a secret, so Steve and Tony have never met before. Yet they are to pose as newlyweds....

Why You Should Read It:

This one’s old and popular enough to be considered one of the “classic” Stony fics, and for good reason. Lenalena doesn’t write too often and not as much as they used to, but the fics they have up there are an absolute delight.

This is another fic that I skipped a bunch of times for being outside my comfort zone, but when I finally read it I saw why everyone’s so wild about it. In this story, Steve’s defrosted a bit earlier and not revealed as Captain America. He and Tony are sent undercover to sniff out Hydra shenanigans on a cruise and, because it’s fanfiction, they’ve got to pretend to be a married couple while onboard. There’s tons to love about this fic, but the things that bring me back to reading it over and over is first, Tony’s kindness and the way he’s attuned to Steve’s feelings, which... God, just inject “kind, observant Tony” straight into my veins, please and thank you. This is also another really rich setting for a story, and Lena knows how to fold the the hokeyness of the cruise into the seriousness of the mission and the depth of feelings Steve and Tony are finding for each other in a really beautiful, layered way. It’s funny, it’s heartfelt, it’s steamy, it’s gripping... why are you still reading this here? Go check it out for yourself!

Ashes to Ashes

Author: dirigibleplumbing

Word Count: 51,582

Summary: After regrouping following some surprise time travel, the world's heroes and sorcerers come up with a plan to protect the Mind and Time Stones by taking them into space in opposite directions. The result involves a lot more time loops than Steve would like, but at least they're getting a second chance to stop Thanos. (As well as a third, and a fourth...) And if Steve takes the opportunity to try to reconcile with Tony, too—well, they have the time, and Steve's going to make the most of it.

Why You Should Read It:

Dirigibleplumbing’s another name in Stony fanfics that does not get nearly as much fanfare as they deserve. They’re consistently a really creative voice in Stony fanfics and I always look forward to their stories showing me something new. Go read all their fics, I need more people to geek out with me over them.

I tend to limit myself on Steve-and-Tony-mend-things-after-Civil-War fics not because they’re not good, but because they’re so heavy, and also the Sokovia Accords have five hundred layers of crap in them that no good fic could possibly hash out well. This one, though? When you add in the Infinity War/End Game fixit? Poetry. Art. Music to my ears. DP wrote a really engaging, twisty story where it’s hard to predict what’s coming next, in spite of it literally being a pseudo-Groundhog day scenario. The characterizations are great, the story is engaging, and the feelings are big and sad and eventually happy. Go read it, you’ll love it.

I have tons of other recs for this category but this seems like a good place to stop for today. Tomorrow’s Alternative Media Thursday, and I’ve got some real gems I’ve been saving for that day (aaaaand possibly a self-rec or two ;)

#capimrecweek #tony stark #Steve Rogers #stony #fanfiction #MCU #ficrec

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frannyzooey · 3 years

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Okay so I've spent a long time curating stuff you wrote and posted because I miss reading your writing (I went all the way back to May 13th, then Tumblr, this hellsite, refreshed 🤡) and would like to say a few things:

You write so much and so beautifully and prolifically, I'm truly amazed by your talent (if u ever hear a "all hail kelli" coming from somewhere, know that I was the one who started the chant)

I'm SO EXCITED for your new Marcus Moreno fic and your Javier Peña fic, I got more and more excited with each ask you answered/pic you tagged as "xxx inspo" about them

Tumblr didn't notify me of weeknights chapter 4, which means it really hates me but that's cool, I already decided to turn on notifications on your blog bc literally every single thing you write is Art™ of the prettiest and most wonderful kind, so I refuse to miss any of it 😤

I am bewildered at how sweet and kind and thoughtful you are - this "dive", of sorts, i did into your blog showed me just how much of a good and caring person you are, your answers and comments on others' fics were always so wholesome and joyful, idk man, you really are special! And it didn't really come as a surprise, but it just makes me incredibly warm inside thinking that you're out there making people's days better and being this bright light in the community, not to mention i still can't believe my luck to be able to call you a friend. You are wonderful 🥺❤️

I just remembered something else, I'm very 👀👀👀 at Gracie's happy ending which you hinted at in an answer 👁️👁️ is it out already? Did I miss it? Hdjdjdjsjsh

Anyways. I must sound like a broken record by now saying how much I love, appreciate and admire you, but I just can't help myself 🤷 now I'll go and read all the stuff I missed out on from you and I'd like to thank you once again for writing and sharing your marvelous talent for free like the literal angel you are 🥰✨

lela ❤️

I truly do not deserve this kind of love — your reblogs (which gave me life yesterday), your endless kindness, this wonderful ask just dropped into my inbox — it’s been a rough couple of days and it’s like you knew I needed that extra shot of love and came bursting in here with it like the ray of sunshine you are 🥰

1) I don’t even know what to say to this — I am so beyond happy you like my writing, it makes me so happy to share it and sometimes I get a little nervous about posting too much or wish I was a little bit more careful? choosing? about my writing but the way you just took those insecurities and said “NOT TODAY” — thank you 🥰❤️

2) eeeeee!!! I am so excited you are excited! I have a lot of ideas for them and it’s been nice to explore the fic in asks because it kinda takes the pressure off writing something more substantial? longer? more structured? looking at those tags is kinda dreamy, ain’t it? 😍

3) BUT THEN YOU READ IT AND MADE ME CRY with your reblog and I’m still weepy — thank you ☺️

4) this is something that is really important to me because sharing takes guts, takes being vulnerable, takes putting yourself out there and as someone who very much struggles with that in real life I want to make sure that I am beyond welcoming and enthusiastic to anyone who wants to share anything on here. kindness takes so little yet goes such a long way and I love seeing it on my dash — it makes people feel so welcomed and then we get more content which is always the goal, right? ❤️ you are my friend, something for which I am very thankful and you are one of the biggest resources of support and kindness — the generosity you provide with your time to support and uplift others is truly inspiring and I love you for that. 🥰

5) Gracie IS gonna get her ending — you didn’t miss it ❤️ feel free to send me any asks you have about her in the meantime, I’ve missed her so!

YOU are the angel, a true blessing and I appreciate you more than I can say. I am HONORED you took a deep dive on my blog — if that ain’t a love letter, idk what IS. 🥰🥰❤️

I LOVE YOU

#over300books

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hannie-dul-set · 3 years

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hello its me again !! yesterday I told you I followed u bc of your love for jaemin and your funny humour but today I want to add something else, and thaTS YOUR AMAZING WRITING SKILLS !!

i just finished reading the masterpiece that is Top of the world and I'm so shaken up by the excellence of the rich vocabulary, the sentence structure and just the way you wrote the various events that happened. I'm such at a lost of words to express what I feel you have no ideas, I will never recover from the high quality of this story. it couldn't have been better than that what you delivered and I'm just so so relieved to have been able to live this amazing experience of reading such an outstanding story. I'm sorry maybe you're thinking im showering you in too much compliments but you deserves to be praised for having written Top of the world.

I will always be amazed with how people who write are able to wrote down their imagination and wow, im still shaking like.. Im so impressed by you you have no ideas 🙈

moving on, this is the first time ever since I'm reading nct fics on tumblr that I came across this characterization of jaemin, and it is a real take of fresh air in the best way possible even tho he's really such an asshole like wow the popularity did go too high in his head I was so scandalized (in a good way lmao it made me amazed) with how an ass he was and like the way he ordered around jisung ???? djjdjffjhf I- I wanted to punch jaemin so hard 😤 I wanted to dive into the story and beat his ass lmaooo im sure you too, like I was rolling around in my bed bc I couldn't stay still and laying down without reacting ㅠㅠ

I dont know at what length of words the ask can tolerate but let me tell you something before I forgot ! I realized that every situations/events you wrote had a purpose, like you didn't wrote basic actions that we would pass over without much attention, and bc of that you held our attention during the 15.6k of words and it was so much overwhelming I couldn't stop reading just to breathe lol, you kept me going for so long and I really liked it im so sad that I lived this experience and I couldn't live it again *sobs* this is so revolting I want to pat your head you did so so well 🥺

alsooooo, when you introduced yn's character in the beginning, I was kinda afraid that he would bully her physically you know, like I couldn't imagining you daring to write him being more than despicable than he was but thanks god that wasn't what I imagined fjdjfj, the way he exercised his 'dominance' towards someone he didn't know just for a seat lmao, wow he got some real balls ?¿ I was scandalized a lot fjjfjffj but I was curious too about jeno's character in the story, he was so chill (I think?) about yn's being involved with jaemin from the start and I was expecting him to be an asshole to her just like jaem, u know ? could we know your motives about jeno's character in the story ? why didn't you wrote him like jaemin?

I will speed up a little fjfjj or else I will write you 6 pages of my thoughts lmao

but yeah !! so, I really liked the contrast between how we perceived yn's outside facade and inside, like when he make her kneels in front of him, you made us look at her from jaemin's view and how she looked not so bothered by his behavior and then you switched the second after into yn's point of view and how she tried to not show her emotions... *mind blowing* 🤯 not gonna lie, I was rotting for her to not let him mess with her head but instead her doing that to him and it kinda worked fjfjfjf and then I knew the moment he was surprised about the non effect he had on her that it was the start of his fall anD I WASN'T A SECOND DISAPPOINTED

I FUCKING LOVED THE BLOSSOMING REALTIONSHIP BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM anD the slight graduation of jaemin's becoming soft to her oh my god I had hearts in my eyes. I loved every moments of this story (I loved the entire 15.6k words of it, I cherished them), but the pool scene toward the end made me go feral for a lot of minutes like the picture you implanted in my head of him in the water made me post all my thoughts (also blonde jaemin? as in, make a wish jaemin?, god I hope bc fucking damn, he was so so so hot)

I was so emotional at the end, they got together and just, being the witness of jaemin's character development was breathtaking, I couldn't stop thinking about how smooth you made it for his character development during all the story, it wasn't forced or too quick...

It was perfect

omg.... [CLUTCHES HEART]. help oh my god first of all thank you ??? for leaving such a LONG long review omg ???? made my entire day ?? week ??? HQGSBWJ IN SUMMARY THANK U AND I LOVE U FOR THIS AAAA i really appreciate it when people just ramble abt my works it just makes my drive go ⬆⬆⬆ yanno HHHH.

when i was first writing this is was like "oh gosh....is it....okay to turn jaemin this much of a dick?? IS IT??" like i was so SURE people wouldn't like this characterization of him but i literally got the reverse 😭 never expected anyone to jump with me on my asshole richkid jaemin agenda bUT HERE WE ARE....IT BEING MY MOST POPULAR FIC YET HAHSJ. i both hate and love this kind of jaemin and yes i definitely wanted to drag him down from his high horse while writing (at the same time....i will let him drag me around as he pleases too 😳).

i'm very gratified that u think its cohesive and each scene has a purpose because to be honest i didn't fuckin know where to go with this entire fic at first LMAO i was just in a richkid jaem brainrot after talking abt it too much with my friend and this was....the result 🕴.

as for jeno oh mr. jeno lee....HAGSNSK to be honest, as this fic wasn't rlly that deeply planned HAHA, i just wanted a contrast to jaemin's personality LMAO if he had the same personality as jaems....insanely egotistical god complex and all.....i think this would have turned out to be a love triangle AHAHS GM SKW. bUT— but hehe. i have another richkid fic in the dusty corners of my google docs rn. a 00’ line fic in fact HAHA so totw jaemin and jeno will be making a comeback here (ofc this is an entirely different universe but their characterizations are essentially the same HEHEHEHEHEH).

anyway !! thank u so much for sharing ur thoughts on totw ;o; 💞 this rlly made my day no joke HAHA i'm so happy to hear you liked this aaaaa. and yes. maw jaemin was the cause of all of this. something snapped in him during that era and led me to write this very self indulgent fic. thank u HAGHSKA.

#and no worries ur grammar is perfect !!! :D hehehe thank you once more aaaa and very sorry for replying late ;o;#💌: byunfirstlady #feedback #top of the world

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sinnabonka · 3 years

Note

Dude fucking condolences for that fic but I’m totally starting bc of you

Oh man, that’s been an amazing read, so don’t be sorry! Join me in my pain parade instead, and please come scream at me about it, when you do.

Fun fact, I finished it yesterday at almost 3 AM (cried like a little bitch I am and lost my shit both on private with @shelikestv and under this post), and went to bed feeling devastated, drained of hope, hurt right in my heart. But when I woke up today, I realized I didn’t feel that way anymore? Instead of being hopeless, the story suddenly became an ode to hope.

I’ve never been so beautifully confused by the piece of fiction. The author is long gone from tumblr, but I came to their blog anyway and wrote them a huge message describing all the thing I’ve felt while and after reading this fic. I pulled my heart out of my chest and laid it to their feet, because it was the most beautiful writing I’ve encountered in this fandom. And now I soldier myself up to read something else of theirs.

Worth mentioning, that Dean Winchester they wrote is the one I fell in love with back when I met him, the one to never ever let go, who is determined to fight till his last breath, who can and will save his family no matter what. Kick for the surface.

#spn #destiel #destiel fic rec #destiel fanfic #every living thing

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not-gae-cuz-i-like-straight-wae · 3 years

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WOW!!! Warning: there are some SERIOUSLY AWFUL HATERS out here on Tumblr!!! \(°o°)/

Okay, I don’t exactly know how to put this, but I’m gonna try anyway.

What I’m gonna talk about, happened yesterday, but I was kind of in a SHOCK because of it, so I totally didn’t know what to say... But I DO know that I’m INCREDIBLY DISAPPOINTED and also VERY MAD! Someone TOTALLY insulted me PERSONALLY and even told lies about me as well! It's completely unjustified. That much I know for sure. This person is so hateful, that even though I’m no hater, it’s kinda contagious and I feel like hating that person back. Especially after what all that already happened before the person did what he/she did. What a filthy TRAITOR!

So this person makes fan art and I was a great fan of it. I even had drawings of that person on my laptop lock screen and background. I knew they all were on his/her Tumblr page, but I had no account yet, so I couldn’t like the posts or something else. Eventually, after seeing more interesting stuff on Tumblr, I decided to create an account for myself. One of the first things I did, was following this person, liking a lot of his/her fan art and I wrote many kind comments in which I let him/her know how much I loved the art. I also sent some private messages to this person to tell him/her these things personally (and it were long messages, not just some short sentence like “I like your art”) and that I’d love to see more of the characters he/she drew. He/she replied with a “thank you” and said he/she would indeed make more and I said that I couldn’t wait.

Then (and this was yesterday) I looked at the list of the ones I follow and noticed there was one less. I went to our chat and from there I tried to go to his/her page, but I couldn’t manage to do that (which was because the person blocked me, apparently). I just looked up the page in the search bar and there I saw the message... IT WAS AWFUL. Not only the message itself, but also (and especially) the TAGS. This person was literally talking about ME and didn’t care a thing about letting me know that. It was absolutely disgusting to read it all and I was all like: “WHAAAAAAAAAAT?????!!!!!!!!!!” This person HATES and SCOLDS me, because (he/she said) I don’t support the lgbt+ community. Because I’m homophobic. The person said I’m not being oppressed for being straight... Like, WOT?!

Let me start off by saying this: YES, I don’t support the lgbt+ community, because that’s MY choice and MY opinion. I’m thinking for myself and nobody’s gonna tell me what I must think of anything! Exactly THAT is what annoys me the most! They all want to impose their opinions to me, with violence if it has to. They can’t even respect my opinion, but they expect me to agree with and support THEIRS??? Besides, almost the entire world is already supporting it all. Gay pride here, trans pride there. Those flags are everywhere! They’ve even got a WHOLE MONTH of lgbt+ pride now! Countless people praise and glorify - if not, worship - them and they’re gonna talk about oppression??? Come on, man! If it was all to have the same rights as straight people, to be equally treated as them, it would’ve been lgbt+ NORMAL, not PRIDE.

But that’s another story. What I’m REALLY ANGRY about, is THIS:

I LITERALLY have written on my page that I’m NOT homophobic or something alike. LITERALLY! And I’m not! In fact, I know quite a few gay people and I never got into a fight with them because of it. I may not agree with you on several things, but if you wanna be gay, go ahead! That’s not my problem. You do what you do, but let me do what I wanna do as well. And don’t go bothering me, telling me I have to find this normal and that normal... However, now even THAT isn’t enough anymore! I must support it or some people will hate me, apparently! Anyway, does this person really think I’m BLIND or something? Or PLAIN STUPID maybe??? Well, guess what... I’M NOT. I already had SEEN posts of this person about lgbt+ pride. Did I scold him/her? No. Did I talked bad words about him/her behind his/her back? No. Did I sent private messages to him/her in which I expressed my hateful feelings??? NO!!! But what I DID do, was following this person, liking his/her content and saying many nice things about his/her art. And then you go talking about me like THAT? I 100% don’t get it. Like, seriously, WHAT THE???!!!

Of course, after reading the (very personal) message, I immediately changed my laptop’s lock screen and background. How I wish I could delete this person’s page from my internet...

I thought it would perhaps happen in the future. The far future. But it seems it’s already reality today: you can’t say you’re straight anymore! Because that’s THE ONLY THING I did. My username: not-gae-cuz-i-like-straight-wae. Do I say I hate homos? (Yes, here we go again.) No! My profile picture/the name I use for my drawings: straight weh/straight wayzzz. Do I say I hate homos? Again, no! The title: this blog is not geh. Do I say I hate homos? Once again... No! The banner: hetero pride. Do I say I hate homos??? NOOOOO!

I SAID HETERO PRIDE AND IT APPEARS THAT BECAME AN ILLEGAL THING TO SAY. WELL, I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN: I FIND IT QUITE NORMAL TO BE HETERO, BUT I’M HAPPY TO BE NORMAL.

You know, I actually COULD feel oppressed for being straight now, because this person basically discriminated me for merely saying it! (By the way, there was someone else like that and he/she started to spam long texts and pictures in our private chat, saying he/she was streaming it to Discord. I’m pretty sure that isn’t even allowed! Eventually, I had to block that fool.) I’ve seen so many usernames that included “gay”, “lesbian”, “bi”, “trans”, etcetera, but when I include “straight” in my username, I’ve committed a terrible sin, according to some people! These things are seriously happening, but I still can’t believe it...

Someone choosing to be gay may be none of my business, but I also never said a hard word about it. Just that I DON’T support it unlike almost everyone else these days. And why would you give a darn crap about what I think, huh??? There are MILLIONS of people to back you up!!! Often, I only need to turn my head to see another lgbt+ supporter. I can’t even watch TV anymore without flags turning up on the sides of the soccer field or sometimes even in the stands! So what the FRICK are you whining about??? (Maybe I’m talking to you specifically, maybe I’m not, but I’m pretty sure you’ll know if I do.)

At first, I was shocked by the message and I gotta be honest, I was really SAD too. It came so unexpected and definitely not on the right day (my birthday, I’ll have you know... no joke, I couldn’t even celebrate it due to my school tests, but then I was taking a break after some studying and I do had to see THAT message). I suppose it hurt me more than it should have. But well, the longer I think about it, the more happy I am you showed your true self. The HORRIBLE and RUDE person you are. The truth is one of the most important things in life and I’m glad to have found it out once again. The last thing I want to say, is that I’m not hateful towards those you claim I am hateful to, but now, I DO despise YOU.

#you can f off yourself #stupid morron #i'm sorry y'all for having written a message like this #but some toxic person posted a very rude message about me #and i had to do this #i was just being friendly to this person #complimented him/her for his/her drawings #and then this #no #i won't accept that #if i'm being friendly to you #and then you post a message #addressed to me personally #as loathsome as that person's message #you will get it back #straight in you face #so please #don't be a jerk

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modern-oedipus · 3 years

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Therapy Notes #?

I haven’t mediated or wrote in my mental health journal for nearly two months, and now, starting them feels overwhelming. So instead, I’m making a Tumblr post about 5 things I’ve successfully done today, to remind my brain that I’m not only unfinished tasks. (This was a psychiatrist advice— when I told her I don’t want to use medicine and I want to regulate my mental health without antidepressants. Thankfully, it worked for me, as I wasn’t a severe case. Anyways.)

• I read 3 stories from Rashōmon, Akutagawa’s book. Moreover, I borrowed that book from my girlfriend yesterday, which makes me feel like I’m running through her brain, which is equally exciting as— just being lovers. But like. Intellectually. I remember how she always gets very excited showing her books from her chaotically huge library. I think I even interrupted her speech midway just to kiss her. Life is quite fanfic-like nowadays. 🧿🎈

• I posted one Instagram post at @nilashh and wrote about how and why Akutagawa’s stories and his life inspired me. I developed a sense of genuine respect to him as I read his stories. Our writing style is similar. I think I understand what he means at the core of his writing. But, I had to google some specifics parts to see if I missed anything. I also made a private instagram as Nila because I want to share more photos of just me being me. It’s private, though, I only keep those who are dearest to me, those whom I trust. I also don’t keep anyone irl on that account. Which means I’ll probably have 10-15 people only but 😂Good enough! Some things are better in privacy 💖 I hear a lot from people that, I look attractive to them, and some were quite to surprised to find me looking like that because you know, they just so happened to read my fics and didn’t expect I’d look “this good” or something? Anyways, it surely is a pleasant reaction when I do a face real. I also feel the same thing, like most of my friends are FREAKIN gorgeous! Some have colored hair and all! Inspiring!

• Told my mom to bring our canary over the grandma’s since he was home alone. Here, there are 2 more pet birds. It is more fun for him to hang out with them. I’m happy I came up with the idea. He is here now.

• I called my father to check up on him. I also vented him about how I saw in my dream that he had a new baby daughter and how I wanted to strangle the daughter because I’m his only princess, and my dad was freaked out at my agression and ensured me he’s not gonna have any more kids 😂 It was funny. But, seriously. It may sound odd but I’m glad I only have my brother. I feel like I’d constantly compare myself if I had a sister (who’s prettier? Who is thinner? Who has more friends? etc.) but with a male sibling, I don’t feel any competition. Of course, I am only talking hypotehtically, maybe I would love if I had a sister, but honestly? I always hated the thought of sharing my spot with anyone. So I am glad I only have my younger brother and no one else. My father is my most beloved human on the earth so I would feel very jealous if I had to share him— and funny thing is, I told all of these to my dad, and he was freaked out 😂 Well, not my fault. If he didn’t want me to make him my favorite person, he shouldn’t have been a fantastic gentleman with an interesting personality (outside of him being a parent) and also a safe parent. Only natural that I’d strangle a potential sister if she were to ever ask to share my spot. I wonder why I had such a weird dream, tho. Both my parents are passed the age of getting kids and we are old, no one is getting kids. It was so weird for sure. Anyways, it was just a dream in the end.

• It’s so hard to find something I productively did today. But I was having a chat with my 15 years old cousins— and I noticed, the parents usually do not listen to them wholly. But I decided to listen until they finish their words, be kind, validate their ideas and respectfully tell what I think as well. Because I think teenagers, kids, or even pets; deserve personal space and respect. It’s not good to act all high and mighty even if you “know” the best as an adult. This lead to a very entertaining conversation with 5 male teenager cousins in a room. I feel like I can actually talk to them better compared to when we were younger. I guess we all are growing up and that’s inspiring.

Anyways, I’m too tired, so here are 5 QUICK notes of things I’m grateful for: 🧿 (I saw that this evil eye emoji thingy is kinda?? Like a charm?? To keep bad shit away if you’re happy? I AINT TAKING ANY CHANCES)

• being alive

• having my loved ones alive (and RIP to all loved ones we lost this year..)

• my dog— actually I’ll just share my doggo

That’s the doggo! 🤍💖🧿

• being healthy. I am kinda having some health problems ritht now but they are not too harsh and I am not on any medication.

• hmmmm what else

• my lover ofc

• the fact that I finally can read books after training my brain and patience for so long. I sometimes have symptoms very similar to adhd (but I don’t have adhd, I learned that some other issues can MIMIC the symptoms of adhd but are not chronic like it) so I kinda tried adhd hacks — consistently for. 2 months and they worked!

Anyways my head hurts and i was just gonna write them on notes section of my phone but since some of my mutuals said they do benefit/enjoy therapy notes series, i decided to share! Give me a hug we all are tired!!

#therapy notes #nila stuff #akutagawa ryonosuke #reading #writing

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oaky-fedora · 3 years

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[this is post two of the series i was mentioning here]

[ II ]

I finally saw the sun today, these past few weeks have been very stressful-

i had gone through hell time and time again, this past month has been full of surprises, and ups, and downs

after all this time, i’ve finally realized where my error was.

i was the victim of tunnel vision, yet again.

i’ve been beating myself down.

i’ve been forcing myself in the wrong way.

i’ve been treating myself like a stranger again, after all this time of working on self love.

i’m not going to throw bullshit into your face and say “i’m fixing things by being positive��- i’m not going to glorify/romanticize anything.

i’m going to say things as they are, because that’s where my best interest is right now.

i’m very glad that i’ve had the opportunity to get on a very specific discord server lately (you know yourselves <3) and i’m even happier that you guys have pulled me onto here. tumblr feels like an escape to me, it feels like a place i can actually express myself on, it feels like it’s a secluded, safe space for me. i’m comfortable sharing things on here, because of these people in my life.

both of these platforms have helped me so much with my journey, and i’ll be taking the opportunity to just be myself on here and turn this into the closest representation of my mind/heart/thoughts/soul/self i can possibly arrive to. tumblr is my journal, the series of posts and poems i make to define who i am, or get closer to who i really am.

(this is also why i don’t reblog anything. i want to keep this blog as a memory. i want to be able to look at this blog in retrospect and see that i have been slowly maturing over the course of all these years.)

i’ve finally broken through the tough layer i form every time i’m faced with a hardship. i go hard on myself, and i find it hard to be intuitive or connected to anything whenever i’m in this state of survival. i’m finally able to calm myself down, i’m proud of myself. i’m proud of the work i put in, i’m proud of the effort i’m trying to make. things don’t always go my way, but they’re not meant to. lots of things happened, yes- have i been down and depressed and skipped meals? yes. is it part of the process? yes.

it’s been so hard for me to find where i belong, because i always feel the need to defend myself, or to justify myself, but never allow myself to feel peace or rest or live in the present moment. i’ve been disconnected from my faith (which i consider to be part of my purpose and identity), and i’m happy that i’m praying again. i’m happy that i’m asking to be on the right way again, i see everything aligning, i see how god works in this universe and keeps redirecting me towards where i need to be.

i finally broke through, yesterday. played some sad songs, cried in the shower, made some art, wrote some poetry. i’ve finally been able to sit myself down to study, a problem i haven’t been able to fix since early december.

today while i was in the bathroom, i saw a single ray of light shining through, from in between the towels our neighbor hung to dry, coming right through the little window. it had been the first time in a month and a half i felt the sun on my skin, and it felt warm, kind, loving, comforting. i’ve missed that feeling, i’ve missed a physical feeling that isn’t the heater in my room, or the covers i get under, or the water in my shower.

that one picture managed to capture a month’s struggle and the moment of relief.

i saw the sun, took my phone out, fumbled and tripped and kept adjusting it til the frame was just right. i had finally found the right angle, the right pose, the right frame- and i clicked.

i looked at the picture, and there i was,

human.

i paused to appreciate the picture. i never knew my eyes could be beautiful. i had spent my entire life thinking “people have all these shades of blue, green, gray in their eyes- and i’m stuck with the most generic of all, same-old, tasteless brown.” i can’t express what i felt when i saw the picture, it’s like hey, maybe my eyes aren’t so bad after all... i know this is mundane to most, i know it’s silly, but this picture is helping me find a new form of self-love, and i’m proud of it <3

as i started looking up, and seeing the world around me again, and finding new hope, soon came news that were looking up too. i was called from my room, only to find my family gathered in the living room on a video call with my married sister, and they asked me to guess the news- my sister’s pregnant with her second child. i’m happy i get to care for my niece, she always runs to me first, she always wants to play with me, she’s cuddly and loves spending time with me, and that’s already such a huge blessing. now if only i could imagine all the love i would give my sister’s second child too... i’m happy i get to give someone good memories, i’m happy i get to spend time with family and remember the things that matter. i always see myself talking to them when they’re all grown up like “when you were a kid, we used to play all the time, with whatever videos you were watching, you used to create all these games, and i would follow your lead and keep it going and you would always run to me at the end of it for a hug.”

it feels weird being an uncle at a young age, i’ll tell you that. but it’s also wholesome. it teaches you more about family and spirituality and life than you could ever learn anywhere else.

i appreciate all i’ve been given, and i hope whoever reads this finds something of their own like this soon too <3

#spontaneous #emotional #journey #journal #personal #spiritualjourney #spirituality #self love

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adenei · 4 years

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Waiting in the Wings

Wrote this lovely one-shot after being inspired by another tumblr post about the similarities between Ron and Cassandra from the Tangled series. Waiting in the Wings is a song that Cassandra sings in the series.

Takes place a few days after Harry’s name comes out of the Goblet, and Hermione tries to talk to Ron about it.

Ron walked into the library looking for a table that was out of the way. After choosing one that would do, he threw his bag on the ground as he sat in one of the empty chairs. It’d been two days since Harry’s name came out of the goblet. He’d done everything he could to avoid being around Harry. Hermione, too, since she’d just nag him, and he really wasn’t in the mood for that. Ron was also running out of things to do that kept Harry out of his sight. Sure, tagging along with Seamus and Dean had been fine yesterday, but it wasn’t the same. So here he was, sitting in the library of all places, to avoid being around ‘the chosen one.’

He begrudgingly pulled out his work. Since he was here, Ron might as well attempt to get some of his homework done. He figured he’d at least stay until he got hungry, and who knows what he’d do after that. Ron opened one of his textbooks, not paying attention to which one, and arranged the parchment beside it. Looks like he was starting with History of Magic. “This day keeps getting better,” Ron muttered to himself as he attempted to focus on the book.

His focus didn’t last long, as his mind began to wander, as it normally did these past few days, to Harry’s betrayal. The anger and hurt was still simmering beneath his skin. They normally did everything together. He couldn’t believe that Harry would actually go behind his back and do this without him. So much for being best friends. Why keep this whole thing a secret? It didn’t make any sense.

Ron heard movement across the table and looked up. Hermione sat down across from him and began pulling out her work. “I hope you don’t mind if I join you. All the other good tables are taken, and you looked like you could use some company,” she said blithely.

“Not if you’re going to nag me, no,” Ron snapped. They sat in silence for a while, but everytime Ron looked up at Hermione, he could tell she was dying to say something. If he wasn’t so annoyed at what he knew she was going to ask, he would have been impressed she’d held out this long from asking. She wasn’t known for her patience when it came to prying answers out of people.

“Why don’t you just say what you came here to say?” Ron finally said.

“What do you mean? I came here to spend time with my friend who I’ve barely seen or spoken to all weekend.” Hermione retorted.

“That’s a lie and you know it. I’ve known you long enough to know when you have an ulterior motive up your sleeve, and at the rate you’re chewing on your tongue, there won’t be anything left if you don’t come out with it already!” Ron hissed.

“Fine. Why are you so upset with Harry? And how can you not believe he didn’t put his name in there? You know him better than anyone, even me, so you must know how ridiculous this row is.” Hermione’s words flowed uncontrollably out of her mouth.

“That’s rich coming from you. I told you once, and I’ll tell you again. I’m not going to talk to you about it. You wouldn’t understand, anyways. So if you want to go take Harry’s side with this, then be my guest,” Ron said angrily as he slammed his book and shoved it into his bag. As his arm made his way back to the table to grab the parchment, Hermione reached out and grabbed it. Ron’s eyes snapped up to Hermione’s, who looked just as shocked as he did before she pulled away rather quickly. He wasn’t sure what just happened, but the shock he felt from it made all the anger evaporate from his body, albeit briefly.

Hermione recovered from the unexpected shock quickly and said, “Don’t be daft, you know I wouldn’t choose sides. Just as Harry did last year for us, and I’m sure you’d do the same for Harry and me if ever that were to happen..”

“Still wouldn’t be surprised if you chose him,” Ron mumbled, trying to gloss over Hermione’s brief mention of the Crookshanks/Scabbers debacle last year as well as the idea that Harry and Ron would forgive and make up eventually.

“Why would you say that?” Hermione asked him meaningfully.

“It doesn’t matter,” Ron said as he slumped his shoulders and stared at the blank parchment in front of him.

“Yes, it does, “Hermione pushed.

Ron sat there for a long moment. His mum told him once when he was mad at the twins that it was always better to talk about something rather than hold it in. Ron wasn’t one to talk about his negative feelings often. He’d just let them build up inside until he combusted, rather than put his anger and hurt onto someone else. Growing up as the sixth youngest sibling, he didn’t want to come off as whiny and nagging to his older brothers.

“I’m just sick of always being the sidekick. The one who stands by, ready to be there, only to get shoved aside.” He wasn’t sure what led him to lay it all out there for Hermione, but he did it anyways.

Hermione stared at him. “Ron, you know that’s not true.”

“Who says? I’m always the forgotten sibling, and then I had to go become best friends with the bloody Boy who Lived. It doesn’t matter whether I’m there or not because it’s always going to be Harry who saves the day.” He wasn’t sure what possessed him to say it.

“How can you say that?” Hermione asked. “You are just as important as anyone else.” Ron wasn’t sure what Hermione was thinking. She couldn’t possibly think he was more important than this.

“Yeah? To who?” Ron said sarcastically.

“To me!” Hermione paused a moment. “To Harry, too, and your family.”

“Thanks, Hermione. I know you’re trying to help, but it’s not going to change things. It’s just how it is.” Ron wasn’t sure why, but his thoughts floated back to the Mirror of Erised that night first year. He remembered seeing himself holding the Quidditch Cup, as Head Boy, and aside from his brothers; finally noticed as his own person, and not just ‘another Weasley.’ He was pretty sure he’d still see the same thing if he were to look in it today. Nothing had changed.

“Ron, Harry couldn’t have succeeded in half of what he’s done without you beside him, or have you forgotten? Harry and I would have been stuck at the giant chess board if it wasn’t for you first year, or maybe I would have been strangled by the Devil’s Snare because I was too focused on needing firewood for light and forgetting that I could cast magic.” Hermione paused as Ron shrugged.

“You would have found another way around the board, I’m sure.”

“Okay, but what about second year? There’s no way Harry would have managed the Spider’s Lair on his own-”

“Wish he would’ve” Ron interjected under his breath as Hermione rolled his eyes.

“He couldn’t have gotten down to the chamber of secrets without you either!”

“Hermione, he went in alone when I was stuck with Lockhart on the other side of the debris, remember? I didn’t do anything there to help him rescue Ginny from Tom or that diary.”

“But you still went down there with him, and you were ready to go into danger with him. It wasn’t your fault you got separated.”

“That’s the thing, isn’t it? I got sidelined, so it was Harry saving the day, saving my sister, not me. And, it kind of was my fault. Lockhart used my wand that backfired and caused the rock to fall..”

“Honestly, Ronald! It’s a good thing he did use that wand, otherwise you two would have been obliviated and Ginny would surely be dead!” When Ron didn’t respond, Hermione pressed on. “Okay, but what about last year with Sirius? You told Sirius he’d have to kill you before Harry. Even with a broken leg you were protecting your best friend!”

“Sure, a lot of good that did, yeah? Sirius wasn’t after Harry. He was after Sca- er Pettigrew, and then everything went to hell with Professor Lupin, and you both got to scamper off to save the day, but I had to stay behind because I’d gone and broken my leg.”

“Ron, you’re not giving yourself enough credit-”

“Why would I give myself credit when someone else is more important? I’m not destined to be the hero, so can’t I just have this? Just let me be angry, Hermione. It was one thing for both of us to joke and think about what would happen if we were somehow in the running or chosen as the champion, but he took it too far! Once again, he wins. Harry’s the champion, he gets all the glory and attention.”

“Do you think Harry really wants the attention from this? When has he ever acted like he was basking in any glory? He didn’t get to choose this life, Ron. I thought you’d understand that of all people.” Hermione huffed. “No one can make you believe that Harry didn’t put his name in the goblet, and this is the last time I’ll bring it up. I hope you come to your senses soon because Harry could really use his best friend about now. In case you haven’t noticed, the rest of the school is also pretty peeved about Harry being a champion, too, so he’s not just dealing with Slytherin nonsense as usual. It doesn’t help that his best friend doesn’t even have his back. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to revise this History of Magic paper for tomorrow. You’d do well to take yours back out if you want any help on it.”

Ron sat there processing everything she said and slowly took his book back out. “Er, right, thanks,” he said, for lack of anything else to say.

“Like I said before, I’m not choosing sides. So I’ll split my time as best I can until you two can sort this out, but I won’t get in the middle of it anymore.” Hermione went back to her parchment.

Despite taking his textbook back out, Ron sat there with his arms crossed thinking about what Hermione said. He’d been denying it deep down, but the more Ron thought, the more he realized that Hermione was probably right. Harry wasn’t exactly sharp witted enough to figure out how to get past the age line. Even the twins couldn’t crack that one. Ron had let the initial reaction of jealousy and betrayal get the best of him, and his anger had taken over. It wasn’t one of his best qualities, but he was who he was.

Ron sat up to focus back on his homework as he’d resigned to the fact that Harry was probably an innocent victim, but they’d fought, and Ron was not the best with apologies, his pride always getting the best of him. So he’d wait until Harry came to him. He would, of course, have his back if anyone tried anything in the meantime. Loyalties were more important than pride. After all, it wouldn’t be that long, right?

#Ron Weasley #oneshot #goblet of fire #ron weasley defense squad #ron and hermione #roncentric

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smolie · 3 years

Text

in december i wrote a 2020 year music review for myself that i intended to post here BUT...because i was infamously restricted twice last year, i didn’t bother since you wouldn’t be able to read it anyway because it was not possible to view my blog hjfdhfd

now that my restricted era is (hopefully forever) over i just want to post it here for the sake of completion since i want to do the same thing this year

this is really long so if you actually read it ... idk you are insane in the membrane and i love you... but i genuinely don’t expect anyone to read this hjfdhjf i just like reflecting on the music i have listened to and be able to look back on what i enjoyed in certain stages of my life! okiiii bye 💗

january

mac miller - circles (album) it’s a bit funny that i worried putting my thoughts down about this album and now it turns out to be first on the list, chronologically of course … oh bittersweet irony </3 listening to this album is such a double edged sword, either way i am always hit with a truckload of feelings when i turn to this release.

this album came to me in a time of my life where i was slowly but surely sliding down towards rock bottom again just after i got out of it and thought i was okay. the times i’ve listened to this crying in the bathtub with a glass of wine….girl let’s not lol…. it’s almost strange how much i can relate to the thoughts another person brought to paper. the comfort this album brings me is otherworldly, i feel so understood by mac’s words and it’s my go-to “wallow in self-pity for a bit then come out stronger than before” album. then again, i feel a little sting when any of mac’s songs come on shuffle. a friend of mine said she cannot listen to artists who have passed because it feels too strange and most of the time i agree but this time, it’s so so different. this album would have been mac’s salvation, i can feel it. everything would have been a bit brighter and lighter for him after this, it would have had to be. i feel like i would do him a disservice if i did not listen to this album, so i will cherish this final gift from him as his legacy and my comfort. i miss him incredibly and am all the more thankful he shared his heart with us.

album favs: circles, good news, surf

tiny meat gang - broke bitch (single) MAN I TELL THAT BROKE BITCH IF YOU WANNA GET IN TUNE BETTER CHANGE YOUR WHOLE PITCH LIKE WOAH !!!!!!!!!! did that give you whiplash? hehe funny to say this about a song called broke bitch by a duo called tiny meat gang but this song actually means a lot to me! it came out shortly before their show in berlin and i almost exclusively listened to it on my 7+ hours train ride from one side of the country to the other to see my meat boys. this played out of the fat ass speakers at the venue when they stepped on the stage and i will never forget meeting them :’) also the song fucking slaps obviously

february

loona - [#] (mini album) ah yes, the most controversial loona release to date! i’m not gonna lie and say this sounded anything like i expected it to. but also, i have come to terms with the fact that loona release noise music now and personally i am here for it. why not did not have the endless energy of hi high or otherworldly vibe of butterfly, but it’s a hype song and i am always there for hype. i also have to say the b-sides were not as strong for me as on previous releases but i think i have to come to peace with the fact that loona will never top their debut mini for me. though if i can wish for one thing…… let loona have title tracks with a chorus in 2021? pls? crumbs?

album favs: so what, oh (yes i am)

tame impala - the slow rush (album) *lights cigarette* i’m listening to pretty underground music….i don’t think you’ve heard of this band….they are called tame impala *intro of the less i know the better starts playing* yes i am a basic white bitch and listen to like 3 alternative bands but damn i listen to them religiously. like any other basic bitch on this planet i found out about tame impala through the less i know the better and checked out their music. i wasn’t too much into this album as i was into currents but towards the end of the year, i was in a moody alternative music slump that took me back to this album and i like it a lot more now! most importantly, tame impala fulfills my primitive urge to listen to songs that exceed the 4 minute mark. something clicks in my brain when i see a song that is like 6:34 and chances that it ends up as one of my faves on a album are high. i enjoy tiktok like everyone else but this trend of 2:50 long songs needs to be stopped immediately.

album favs: borderline, lost in yesterday, it might be time, is it true, posthumous forgiveness

honorary mentions: onlyoneof - dOra maar, everglow - dundun

march

nct 127 - neo zone (album) ah, yes. the album that fundamentally changed me as a person <3 i’ve been listening to nct for a while, matter of fact i checked my top tracks 2019 playlist on spotify and cherry bomb was on there lol. i remember trying to get into them in 2018 when they released their regular-irregular album but the endless member & unit concept scared me off, so i only listened to a handful of songs without looking into them march 2020, the fateful month in which they released kick it and screencaps of jaehyun’s sexy ass tiddies in the kick it mv landed on my tumblr or twitter and i HAD to look up who this man is…...remember when i thought jaehyun was my ult for like, 2 weeks? me neither, johnny suh only in this house <3

anyway, i checked out this album and by god, is this pure kpop perfection. last time i listened to a god tier no skip album like this was … maybe the perfect red velvet? hype songs, well crafted ballads, love songs that make me wanna learn the lyrics, genuinely fun and interesting pop songs, this album has it all. somehow, the way this album is crafted greatly reminds me of brown eyed girls’ sound-g, it has the same vibe, concept and mix of genres to me, i’m not entirely sure how to explain. anyway, this album is one of my favorites of all time and even though i’ve obsessively listened to it (lastfm says 1.4k scrobbles as of today, december 7th…) i am still not tired of this. i recommend this to anyone who loves kpop tbh, you will have a good time with this!

other than being just a musically solid album, the emotional ties i have with this are …. isabel stop making albums your emotional support 2021 challenge. i’ve listened to this release all spring lockdown, this basically played at every waking hour for all of march and april. the promotion time of this era and lockdown are deeply intertwined for me and so i am always remembered of all the nct content i consumed during that time which inevitably cheered me up so much. this album really means a lot to me :’)

album favs: kick it, mad dog, love song, boom

honorary mentions: itzy - wannabe,

the weeknd - after hours (album) my dear melchanoly, was one of my favorite releases of 2018, so i had been desperate for a new release by abel and boy did he not disappoint. the perfect thotty, dirty emo 80s, making it clap while crying in the club album! this is a no skip from top to bottom and all i can say is that the grammys can go to hell <3 abel aoty! there is really not much i can say about this album, the flawless production, lyrics and sound speak for themself. my only criticism is that i feel overwhelmed by 14 songs, especially when some of them are really long. a few songs greatly overshadow the weaker tracks on the album for me but i still love this to death.

album favs: escape from LA, blinding lights, after hours, faith

dua lipa - future nostalgia (album) after the weeknd’s masterpiece of an 80s inspired pop album i was really looking forward to this. i greatly enjoyed the pre-releases, i played don’t start now and physical up and down, they are still some of my favorite songs released this year! when i first listened to the album i really liked it, songs like boys will be boys or pretty please sound like fillers to be but the rest is solid. yet a month after release you couldn’t catch me listening to this and i cannot even really tell you why. i think it was a combination of the following: 1) i greatly overplayed dsn and physical to the point where i didn’t want more of the pop 80s sound that the album has 2) there were other releases at the time that caught my attention and interest more like neo zone or after hours 3) dua herself….girl….she really gave it her all this year to make herself as unlikeable as possible. nationalist propaganda and the constant traveling during a fucking pandemic were really the kicker. i can barely stand seeing her on my instagram feed anymore, much less listen to her album. her having the nerve to go “we’re in a pandemic lol” when people asked about an animated music video …. if you don’t shut the hell up lmao … also, she takes the crown for the corniest album opener of all time. i nearly closed spotify when i heard future nostalgia (the song) lmao

album favs: don’t start now, physical, levitating, hallucinate

honorary mentions: megan thee stallion - savage

april

apink - dumhdurum (song)

listen, i’m not gonna sit here and pretend like this mini album interested me in the slightest but god, the title is such a banger.i’m so sick, eung eung and dumhdurum are a holy trilogy that i will defend until the end of time! i really hope apink stick to this mature, elegant concept, it suits them so well and goes well with their new sound. come back soon queens <3

rina sawayama - xs (song) i feel like i’m gonna catch some hands here … xs is an absolute banger, the guitar riffs and disruptive sounds really get me going every damn time! but the rest of the album … tell me why it doesn’t catch me?! i literally cannot explain. i need to take an hour, sit down and do nothing but listen to the album from top to bottom once again and see if my thoughts change but right now i only care about xs.

chungha - stay tonight (song) drama! vocals! dance break! choreography! this release served it all. i listened to this obsessively during the time of the release and it still holds up today. can we talk about the run chungha had with gotta go > snapping > stay tonight? lord have mercy.

honorary mentions: april - lalalilala, nct dream - ridin’

may

lady gaga - chromatica (album) the immense disappointment i have in this album is tough to put into words lol. any other artist might have gotten away with this release but gaga having the discography that she has, well … she doesn’t get away with it. this has underwhelming all over it. i enjoyed the pre-releases and my hope was high but the rest just doesn’t live up what i expected, i can’t even say why. it’s just underwhelming pop for someone of gaga’s calibre. i listened to this album during release week and then never again till december to write this list and i can see why.

album favs: rain on me, sour candy ft. blackpink, stupid love

baekhyun - delight (mini album) it’s confession time … this is a name i never would have expected on any of my music lists to end up. exo has always been one of those boy groups i casually listened to. i greatly enjoy their title tracks and a handful of side tracks, i have a few members that i keep an eye on more than others but that’s about it. baekhyun was never one of those members i had any interest in, matter of fact i always thought he was kinda vanilla and boring 😭 i didn’t even plan on listening to this release if it wasn’t for his association with superm and thus nct, so i gave it a shot and we have no choice but to stan. his voice is like butter and can cut sharp at the same time, his versatility is insane. i dived a bit more into baekhyun related content and he is so likeable, it’s almost ridiculous. this production is absolute god tier, not a single skip on this mini. late spring/early summer i had this weird urge to listen to songs with mellow voices but still a banger instrumental and i wholeheartedly blame this release. matter of fact, this album is so good, i had to buy a physical copy. Y’ALL. THIS IS A BIG DEAL. i haven’t bought a kpop album of anyone that’s not holy top 3 (brown eyed girls, loona, nct) in like … idk, 5 years?! baekhyun’s impact. i’m a fan now <3

album favs: candy, r u ridin’?, love again

ak aussenkontrolle - in meinem benz (song) this … is very unrelated to this entirely list but i had to put it on here. i miss my ex boss and our 3 hour drives to meetings in the south of the country where we would blast trashy german rap music </3

nct 127 - neo zone: the final round (repackage) *airhorns* REEEPACKAGE TIIIIIME!!! my first nct era that i experienced from start to finish! i remember watching nct 127’s beyond live with luna where these mfs performed punch and we finished the concert having no idea what this song sounded like. the structure is so unusual and the intro catches me off-guard every time just to hype me up beyond compare. not gonna lie, the fact that johnny has exactly one (1) line hurts but! it’s my favorite line of the entire song! possibly related to the fact that it’s his line but let’s ignore that ….

album favs: punch, make your day

kim woo seok - red moon (song) i’m not even gonna lie to you. i have not a single idea who this man is. you could put him right in front of me and i wouldn’t know … all i know is that he has a banger song. i saw him perform this on a music show that i watched for nct and i ended up loving the song … thanks for your service sir, whoever you are ...

june

stray kids - go live (album) 2020 was kind of the year of boy groups for me, i’m so sorry … stray kids promoted simultaneously with nct 127 so i ended up hearing their title track and holy hell, is that a song. god’s menu is hype from start to finish. it reminds me of good ol’ 2nd gen noise boy group song a lá b*g b*ng fantastic baby. just pure hype and fun noise. i am forever grateful to witness the birth of the line cooking like a chef, i’m a five star michelin. the title track impressed me so much that i ended up checking out the entire album which i rarely ever do with boy groups and what is even rarer is that i enjoyed the b sides lmao!!! it’s not an album that i would put on and just enjoy from start to finish but it has some really solid tracks! this release made me want to keep an eye on stray kids, they seem like a really fun bunch.

album favs: god’s menu, TA, airplane

seventeen - left & right (song) the boy group run continues … same thing with stray kids, seventeen promoted during punch era so i heard their song while watching some music station show for nct and i heard this and was sold. solid, fun pop with the catchiest pre-chorus in history and a banger chorus. i listened to the entire mini and can’t say it really caught my interest so this is a title track only release for me.

dishonorary mentions: twice - more & more (i hate this song so much lol)

honorary mentions: ryu sejeong - tiger eyes, monsta x - fantasia, chloe x halle - do it

july

irene & seulgi - monster (mini) this is a weird release because it’s good. the title track is fun enough, the b sides are dope. but my issue with this is that it’s nothing new. this sounds exactly like a red velvet release. i get that they didn’t want to a joy, seulgi, irene, yeri release only and went for the sub-unit route instead, but why not be experimental and stray away from the usual sound of the group? also, whoever made monster and not naughty the title track deserves to be spat on. at least the choreography here is more interesting and “experimental” for kpop standards. also, why only a seulgi solo and no irene? i have no idea how reveluvs reacted to this release but this has rushed written all over it.

album favs: monster, naughty (i’m counting this to the mini idc), uncover

exo-sc - 1 billion views (mini) doing my part as a filthy casual exo listener. this release goes in the same category as baekhyun’s delight where i like the album so much that i HAD to get a physical copy. i don’t know what they put in the title track for it to be so diddly darn addictive but it clearly worked. the only bad thing about this release is how criminally mismanaged it was by sm, when i get you lee sooman ...

album favs: 1 billion views, on me, say it

baekhyun - garden in the air (song) i told you i’m a loyal baekhyun fan now <3 king releases and i listen, that’s just how it goes now! this is a cover of a boa song and i really love his version. there is not much to say except that it’s a really smooth song and his voice absolutely carries the track. i enjoyed this much more than i thought i would!

hyoyeon - dessert (song) YOU KNOW WHAT I DESERVE??? DESSERT!!!!!!! *insert tik tok challenge here* imagine if miryo featured on this instead of the ethnic hip girl … why can’t we have nice things. anyway, a banger!

johnny - sunny side up episode 1 set (spotify playlist, actual set) johnny being the skilled, talented, multi-faceted king that he is has been dj-ing since before debut (not me acting like i was around at that time lmao) and thus he decided to bless our quarantined, lockdowned asses with an online dj set! that was the most turned up sunday morning i ever had in my entire life. this set kicked off an edm/house/techno affinity that i had for the following couple of weeks. this set is an absolute banger, i would go insane to this in the club. he has an amazing ear for transitions and drops and i still just put on this set on the regular when i have cleaning to do or so. he could fill the void that rona and thus no clubbing in 2020 left in my heart and i’m so happy he decided to share this with us <3 now … john … sunny side up episode 2 pspspspspsps

honorary mentions: gfriend - apple, jessi - nunu nana

august

cardi b ft. megan thee stallion - wap (song) late summer 2021. we are vaccinated, icu beds are free, barely any new cases, clubs are open, this song plays and i can finally make it fucking clap.

troye sivan - in a dream (mini album) a cute mini album! nothing life-changing or as exciting as previous releases but easy (haha!) to enjoy. i really, really enjoy easy, can always count on troye for a dreamy sound.

album favs: easy

honorary mentions: itzy - not shy

september

wonho - love synonym pt. 1: right for me (mini album) honestly? i know like, 3 monsta x songs. i never bothered to get into them and maybe i never will, but it was difficult to ignore the whole wonho & monsta x mess that went on. i have absolutely no memory of why i decided to check out this release, i guess i was curious what he was going to do and … i was positively surprised lol. open mind is the exact time of song i had been so desperate all summer (remember mellow vocals with banger instrumentals? yeah) and uhm … can’t ignore the obvious … mr wonho is fucking fine. sir, you just gained a fan … now, where is love synonym part 2?? huh?????

album favs: open mind, i just, losing you

joji - nectar (album) this one is on tiktok. i heard gimme love in a bunch of tiktoks and had to look up the song and here we are. what an album! it came right as seasonal depression started to hit and accompanied me for a good chunk of autumn. at this point one has to ask if joji can ever really miss? the entire album is a no skip, it’s almost difficult to narrow down my favorites if my favorites weren’t so damn god tier!!!

album favs: gimme love, ew, tick tock, pretty boy, your man

super m - tiger inside / 100 / drip (songs) okay, listen. technically tiger inside & 100 were already released in august. instead of those three songs i was gonna write about the entire album until i realized i really don’t give a fuck about it 😭 i really only care about those three songs. and YES, i unironically like 100. is it a good song? no. but neither is jopping and that fucking bangs. i don’t turn to superm for life-changing, profound music, i turn to them for a good time LOL and that’s what they deliver every time! that being said, taeyong’s VROOM VROOM, UHMM UHMM, GRRRAHHHH verse is life-changing and profound! speak your truth king! also i wish drip was a b side for nct 127 that song is so damn sexy

taemin - never gonna dance again act 1 (album) this isn’t kpop, this is taemin pop. taemin never misses and the fact that hw*s* won dance performance over taemin is a literal hate crime. i will never forget the industry for this daylight robbery … anyway, nice album!!!!

album favs: criminal, black rose, waiting for

stray kids - in life (repackage) *airhorns* REPACKAGE TIIIIME 2.0!!!! i was on the edge of my seat waiting what stray kids were going to deliver after i greatly enjoyed god’s menu. i was still not over listening god’s menu when the repackage came out so i didn’t listen to it right away and now i greatly regret the few days i could have listened to back door earlier </3

album favs: back door, any

jackson wang - pretty please (song) i’m not gonna pretend like i ever listened to a song by jackson ever before. he is short king from got7 in my head and that’s all! i don’t even remember why i listened to this song but all i know is that it slaps severely. i love the wong kar wai inspired music video and the choreography is fun too! i’m gonna check out more of his music <3

honorary mentions: fromis9 - feel good, knk - ride

october

blackpink - the album (album, duh) i don’t even know what to say about this … this might be the weirdest release on the list for me. there are song i absolutely fucking hate (ice cream …) and songs i get my life to (pretty savage) on here and the discrepancy just gives me massive whiplash. i would never put this album on and listen to the whole body of work, i just cannot with the brain damage it gives me. i am still stuck in 2016, begging for bp to release music like whistle/boombayah/stay/playing with fire but i think i need to give up on that wishful thinking … i am just grateful we a got a title track with actual lyrics in the chrous for once.

album favs: pretty savage, lovesick girls

nct - nct 2020 resonance pt. 1 (album) this era was … a ride. nct 2020 happening was near inevitable but with covid it got pushed back so far, i started to believe it wasn’t even going to happen. i was semi-terrified of what was going to happen during a comeback with 21 (now 23!!) member group since i only experienced nct 127 comebacks so far and uhh … a LOT happened lmfao but let’s keep this about the album … i had no idea what was going to hit me. johnny having effectively 3 lines in nct 2018 did not give me much hope and after he got denoted to no line treatment in punch again, i was ready to not even have any expectation but this release changed everything. make no mistake that most of my favorite songs are units with johnny, we knew that was gonna happen lmaooo they dropped the teaser video for misfit and i thought i had my favorite song in the bag and then faded in my last song happened. y’all. JOHNNY SINGS? LIKE? ACTUALLY SINGS? DOESN’T GET FORCED TO RAP OR TALK-SING? MY MAN’S VOCALS??? OH MY GAAAAHD! this song is dramatic, theatrical, emo, it serves vocals and rap, it has catchy english and korean lyrics, this is THE song, the ULTIMATE song. i love this song so much, i want to belt it on top of my lungs in the pouring rain. apart from fimls, i also loveeee misfit, that was to be expected after i was going completely insane over the track video. johnny has like 3 lines but again they are iconic (WARNIN’! NCT WE MOBBIN’!) and i just enjoy the track too much to be upset over that. nectar. holy fuck. nectar!!!! wayv never disappoints with their thotty songs, they now have an absolute god tier hoe-ly song trinity with love talk > bad alive > nectar. the first chorus and hendery’s first verse (CHOP CHOP CHOP!) get me every time, this song is so insanely good i am severely upset i cannot sing along to it :( music, dance has nct 127 written all over it in bold letters, it’s so inherently 127’s sound!!!! i love this song so much, it’s so fun, upset and has massive dance-ability, i wish we had gotten a stage for it but i guess you can’t have everything in life </3 make a wish……………………………..the cursed unit. i don’t want to say anything about this except that, unfortunately, the song is fun and i enjoy it. the end. overall, this album is so insanely solid. i know i talk about my favorites A LOT but i genuinely do not dislike a single song on here, this is an absolute no skip album! that’s it. see you for resonance part 2!!!!!

album favs: FADED IN MY LAST SONG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, misfit, nectar, music dance, make a wish

loona - 12:00 (mini album) controversial loona release 2.0! i don’t know what it is, but somehow they managed to lace the words di da dam di dam di dam dam dam dam di dam (yeah) with pure crack. i fucking love why not, i would even go as far to say it’s my 2nd favorite title track. that is right, i think it’s better than butterfly (btw: hi high > why not > butterfly > so what). so much was strange this comeback, from the inexplicable concept + teasers, the outfits, the styling (yves….i mourn your hot girl era) but the title track is just SO good, SO fun, SO catchy that i am willing to ignore it all. i also enjoy the b sides much more than on #, they are much more memorable to me. and now … HASEUL RETURN…………….i purely live to see the next loona comeback at this point

album favs: why not, voice, universe

twice - i can’t stop me (song) thank fuck twice released a good song this year. if more & more had been the only 2020 release, that would have been the real tragedy. not gonna lie, i still haven’t listened to the full album, it just keeps slipping my mind. but! i’m going to! until then i’m gonna bop to i can’t stop me.

ariana grande - positions (album) the way this album has people upset is so funny. i am a huge dangerous woman fan myself, it’s my fave ariana album to date but she has said repeatedly that this is not the sound she is striving for. now she has her coin and can do whatever she wants in music and if that is r’n’b then fuck! we have to live with it! lmao! i can live with the sex theme of the album because it’s delivered in a fun way? but it’s getting a bit old...if the next album is about riding dick only too idk how much i would enjoy that. i would probably always come back to ari because i like her voice so much but girl, there are other topics to sing about, i promise! anyway! i like this album, it’s one of those where i can hit shuffle and enjoy it in the background while doing other stuff.

album favs: positions, 34 + 35, love language, my hair, pov

tiny meat gang - sofia (song) ayyy, it’s my meat boys :’) ending the year the same way they started it, with a banger! i absolutely love the guitar instrumental, the melancholic love song type sound paired with the theme of singing about loving a robot … yup, that’s creativity and talent right here! this makes me so freaking desperate for a new ep and i genuinely have no idea how far or close we are to one but!!! i am always waiting!!!

noel - push (ep) this is something i absolutely did not expect. noel (of tiny meat gang!) released his first ep ever and i was absolutely wowed. noel has it all, the voice, the talent, the creativity and all it took him was the confidence to finally put something out and i’m so happy he did. he gets real personal on bus back, more than ever before and i always get a bit emo listening to this track </3 this man is gonna go places and i’m so happy to witness his journey.

album favs: crow, head sunk, bus back

honorary mentions: sam smith - diamonds

november

taemin - never gonna dance again act 2 (album) i’m gonna say it. idea is better than criminal. the chorus drop???? when he goes MY AH AH MY AH AH MY AH MY IDEA MY MY IDEAAAAAA A-A-A A-A-A???? bitch … tell me you can sit still, i won’t believe you. i like part 2’s title track more, but part 1’s b sides are more interesting to me. either way, taemin delivered as expected!!

album favs: idea, impressionable, exclusive

nct - nct 2020 resonance pt. 2 (album) part two, baby! we made it! part 2 had more mellow, ballad-y songs with my everything, i.o.u. and all about you, overall less drama than part 1 but i still enjoyed it. work it is one of those controversial songs where you despise it with your entire being or you defend this top tier noise till the end and i am absolutely the latter. the agony of not being able to listen to it and seeing the timeline so divided nearly killed me, but i have concluded that people who hate work it have never felt joy in their life <3 honestly my opinion cannot be counted because i eat up anything johnny participates in … biased ass… what i’m not gonna talk about is resonance (the song), this absolute mess of a “remix”. the audacity sm had to release this as a single is insane. anyway!! this era was a rollercoaster ride. all the interactions truly made me interested in members of other units more. hendery (the rise and fall …), yangyang my beautiful son, jeno aka blue hair guy, chenle the chaos kid and xiaojun after he made make a wish his bitch in particular! all the interactions between the units were so fun to witness and it was fun while it lasted but i am … so glad it’s over lol. i miss nct 127, i miss some peace, i hope the boys get to rest for a bit and so does my bank account.

album favs: work it, 90s love, i.o.u., raise the roof

miley cyrus - plastic hearts (album) not in a thousand years would i have expected a miley release to be on here. this girl does everything to be absolutely unlikeable in my eyes but after severely banging out to her heart of glass cover, i was really excited for this and it did not disappoint. what is disappointing is that it took her so long to find a sound that fits her like a glove. i believe many people miss out on this release after her previous history and i nearly would have done the same. this alt/rock influenced pop does her voice so many favors and i really hope she sticks to this direction, i love this album greatly!!

album favs: heart of glass, midnight sky, night crawling ft. billy joel, wtf do i know

kai - kai (mini album) just. imagine debuting with an album like that. lol. what a god tier big dick move. we all knew whatever this release was gonna be, above all it was going to be sexy and boy were we RIGHT!!!! mmmh is exactly as thotty as i needed it to be and the b sides give me everything from r’n’b to trap. i love this release and i love that it’s only the beginning of kai! like!! he is only gonna gain even more experience and become even more powerful!! what the fuck!!!!!

album favs: mmmh, ride or die, hello stranger, nothing on me

honorary mentions. gfriend - mago

december

nothing? wtf?? 😭 no interesting release happened,,,,half the time i listened to christmas songs anyway lol

pre 2020 releases i only found this year

mgmt - little dark age (album, 2018) & oracular spectactular (album, 2007) another tiktok serve. i found little dark age through a tiktok trend and ended up really liking mgmt. they fit perfectly into my autumn/winter moody alt/rock mood that i had going on and i’m happy they have so much more music that i can check out!

artist favs: little dark age, electric feel, time to pretend

tame impala - currents (album, 2015) everyone’s favorite basic alt bitch album! i enjoyed this more than the slow rush for a good chunk of time, it also fit right into my alt rock autumn mood. i really love this album, like previously mentioned it has my favorite long ass tracks on there but also a good amount of short or medium long tracks. i’m still busy enjoying currents and the slow rush but i can’t wait till i finally take the leap to dive into their other releases because i’m loving everything i’ve heard so far.

album favs: the less i know the better, let it happen, new person same old mistakes

joji - ballads 1 (2018) after liking nectar so much, checking joji out was a given and i just love this album. only when i listened to this i realized i heard slowly dancing in the dark a few times on tiktok lmao that cursed app man … i would say i love nectar a bit more but this is still a fantastic album!!

album favs: slowly dancing in the dark, attention, test drive, yeah right

jus2 - focus (mini album, 2019) in my “mellow moody bangers” phase i was scouring playlists for more songs and i think i found focus on me first which fitted right into the niche i was looking to fill and i ended up enjoy this whole release! only later i realized this is a sub-unit from got7 lmao how come i enjoy solo or unit releases by got7 members but their group discography never interested me? anyway, very sexy ep!

album favs: drunk on you, focus on me, love talk

knk - sunset (song, 2019) part of my mellow bangers playlist. very sexy, i can imagine this as a runway song! i have no idea who knk are but given the fact i enjoyed two of their songs so far maybe i should look into them lol

baekhyun - city lights (mini album, 2019) i am repenting for my sins of missing out on baekhyun releases by consuming his music at an exorbitant rate. un village is one hell of a title track that i didn’t appreciate before, but i feel like in 2020 my music interests started to vary and i love the groovy r’n’b and string sound of this song so much. i also love stay up to death, the vocals baekhyun serves here are unreal. his BABY WE CAN STAY UP!!!!!!! gets me every single time!!!! what a mini!

album favs: un village, stay up

mac miller - swimming (album, 2018) i’ve listened to this album before 2020 but i had the urge to put this on here. this is going to sound so corny, but if i had to pick one song to be my life’s title track, it would be ladders. the hope this song gives me is unreal, it feels like a light at the end of the tunnel. this album is so fantastic, i love the upbeat instrumentals paired with sometimes gloomy lyrics are so incredible, mac was truly one of the greatest artists of our time. this album is so outstanding and i miss him every day.

album favs: ladders, jet fuel, 2009, self care, perfecto

doja cat - hot pink (album, 2019) i can never decide if i like doja or not but the album slaps lol that’s it come on tiktok queen

album favs: say so, juicy, like that, streets

my fav 2020 playlists

slapping mellow

neo culture technology

malcolm

why go to therapy when this playlist exists?

top songs 2020

(by spotify)

#again a heads up: this was written in december 2020 and there are a few names mentioned here that....i want nothing to do with anymore lol #like h*ndery of gfr*end #but i'm not gonna delete them because at the time i enjoyed their releases and no one knew they were ignorant asswipes <3 #also not me thinking i'm gonna get vaccinated this summer LMFAOOOOOOO #i can consider myself lucky if i even get them this year #german government my detested <3 #about me

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kintsugi-sheep · 4 years

Text

2020.11.29: Perfectionism

“Stop thinking about the end result, because no matter what happens, by telling the truth, you’ll be on the best possible path to happiness.”

That’s one of many little bullet points that I’d left over from last week. I was feeling tired, so I didn’t want to get into every detail of every thing that I was thinking or feeling at the time. But this one has rung a little true for me.

I’m rounding off NaNoWriMo with nothing done for this story.

It’s depressing, to tell the truth. However, I also picked up a new writing exercise. I’ll head over to the writing prompts subreddit, pick something, and write it. I did it yesterday. I did it for a prompt today that actually got taken down before I could respond to it.

So, I sent what I’d written directly to the poster of the prompt and I wrote a short for another one.

Writing itself doesn’t seem to be the issue for me. It’s my connection to what I’m writing that gets in the way of things.

The story that I’m currently working on was never meant to be taken this seriously. It was supposed to be an inconsequential collection of the story scraps I’d accrued while forming more viable ideas. But, a few months ago, I came to the realization that what I’d believed to be my magnum opus, the story I was crafting to put on my pedestal as my greatest work since before I was a teenager—a story that was a literal lifetime in the making—was a contrived mess that I couldn’t reasonably untangle.

It physically hurt, realizing that I’d fallen out of love with World Crown, formerly known as Vermillion Mythos, formerly known as YVK Chronicles. It’s interesting seeing how my ability to name things has grown as well.

Anyway, now it’s a carcass for my other creative efforts to scavenge from. And it’s a sizeable one, so I’m not short for ideas yet.

To pull myself back to the point, I’m now attached to this new project in a way that I wasn’t at its inception. And this wasn’t created for NaNo mind you; this story is, I think one-and-a-half or two years old. Even older if you consider the more rudimentary stages of its existence. And because I want my child to become accepted by the world rather than a wretched outcast, I’m keeping it locked away, where it can do no wrong in my eyes and where no one can judge it.

I don’t know when I’ll get into talking about the stuff I read in depth or anything like that, but I did come across this earlier today in How to Be Miserable by Randy J. Paterson:

· People wo adopt reasonable standards generally achieve as much or more tan perfectionists, because they get a motivational boost out of success, enabling them to devote more energy to their efforts.

· Perfectionism imposes a fear of trying out new things out of a knowledge that you will not excel on your first try. This results in a restricted life.

· Perfectionism can cause you to spend a lot of time erasing minor flaws that no one else can see, inadvertently annoying people with your slowness and preventing you from shifting to other challenges.

There’s knowing something, and then there’s accepting something. The first two are things I knew, but need to remind myself to accept from time to time, so that I act instead of plan. The third one was something I’d never considered, but did resonate with me. A good friend of mine, a fellow writer, got tired of listening to my ideas for a long time because I never implemented or finished anything. And I know it got on his nerves.

So, what am I doing to rectify this?

Well, this is the second week of posting on Tumblr. I’d like to keep this going. I used to constantly burn myself out because I felt like I was screaming in the dark. And I know that’s the point, but accepting that it’s the point is the hard part. Acknowledging that I’m not the people I look up to. That these posts are for me and that in the future, I’ll have something I didn’t give up on to actually look back to and congratulate myself for.

I also want to keep writing these Reddit shorts. I’ll post them here once a week. Maybe there’s some gold to pan in there.

I don’t know how to end this post.

#writer #author #writeblr #blog #perfectionism

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lalahbug · 4 years

Text

Dual Fate - France x F!Reader

Fandom: Hetalia Word Count: 2,164

My Masterlist

Warnings/disclaim: general Angst if you choose the sad ending

Author’s Note: Originally posted on DeviantArt, under the same username, on 11/05/2013, different endings were posted on 11/06/2016. Word count includes main story and both endings. Revamped/edited in 2020.

To make it not as much as a hassle with posting, both endings are just here. You can read both or just one. Pick your poison.

___ is a blank for your name/oc/whatever you prefer Written in 3rd person

Line/header is to separate paragraphs to indicate time skips, as Tumblr hates my formatting.

Story under cut

He spotted her running from the taxi as the rain poured down making him smile. ___ entered her favorite café, his café. Francis took a deep breath and tied back his hair the way she likes it. Today was the day Francis was going to tell ___ he loves her. He had to get to know her better, even if it meant rejection. He had her usual breakfast ready.

Every time he tried to ask ___ out, she'd get an excuse and leave. He asked around to figure out why. The reason being that she’s never had a boyfriend and knows Francis is a player and doesn't wait to get played. For the past 6 months, Francis stopped seeing all his normal hookups, stopped going to clubs, and mainly focused on her. All in hopes to get a chance just to date her.

He watched her unhappy face turn into a smile from the smell of the café. The smell of bread, eggs, chocolate, coffee, and fresh pastries.

"Morning Francis,” she smiled at him, as she put her stuff down at her normal table. His butterflies started to whirl. Her soft plump lips curved to show her dimples and her eyes slightly crinkled from the true smile. He stood there like an idiot with a dreamy smile. "Hello, Francis?" She giggled and poked his cheek.

He shook his head. "Morning, ma chère." He mentally slapped himself, she makes him act so out of character it even threw him.

"Can I get my usual?"

"Of course, anything else?"

"You were out of blueberry crumble yesterday. Got any today?"

"I made a fresh sheet this morning just for you, they also have a surprise in the middle."

"I love it when you cook something different."

"Do you want one?"

"Oh, Francis you know me better than that don't you?"

He laughed. "Two blueberry crumble cake pieces coming right up. Ohonon~!" She giggled then started organizing her backpack and her messenger bag.

He sighed, she was lovely, her damp hair was clinging to her face. He ran off the kitchen to get her usual. He peered through the kitchen door, balancing her plates on his arm. Waiting for her to go to the restroom like she does every morning. She grabbed her backpack and walked to the bathroom. As soon as she was in the restroom, Francis went to her table quickly. He laid down her hash brown where he formed two eggs as eyes and bacon for the hair and sausage for the mouth. He placed the hot chocolate and pieces of blueberry crumble down. Then he put a letter under her book. The letter had his confession and an explanation of everything on his mind for these past 6 months.

Thankfully the café was slow, meaning he could join her for breakfast. ___ came here every other morning. Every Friday she stayed longer, until about lunchtime, because she didn't work on weekends at all. On Saturdays and Sundays, she went to the gym, then came to his café, if she finished her book, then she’d go to the library then come back to the café to read and relax before heading home. Needless to say, Francis knew her schedule inside and out. He also loved weekends because of how much he got to see her and talk to her if it wasn't busy of course. Today, though, it was raining, business was usually slow during the rain.

The flirting between both of them had been going steady for a good 4 months and he wasn't going to chicken out anymore. He sat down across from the place he had set up for her.

"Oh, Francis!" She beamed from ear to ear. "This is so cute! I might just not eat it until my friend shows up to show him!"

Francis' smile quickly faded, guy-friend, coming here? He quickly put on a fake smile. "I am okay if you want to show off my skills but it'd be a shame for it to get cold." He was trying so hard not to twitch, had he waited too long?

"My friend will be here at any moment. I will definitely show it off!" She giggled with happiness.

"You've never brought a friend in before. Special occasion?" Francis was trying to keep his cool.

She blushed slightly. "Not really. Just hanging out with him. Oh, there he is!"'

’Why was she blushing? Can I even look at this "friend" of hers?’ Francis’ thoughts were raging with many emotions at once.

"Matt," she waved, "over here." The Canadian boy turned with a shy and unsure look.

Francis' whole world stopped. His little brother. What was Matt doing with his ___ today? How did they even meet? Francis’ heart was racing and almost contracting with pain.

"Matt, this is Francis, my favorite cook in the whole world!" She gusted to him; his eyes stayed on the floor.

"Oh, hey bro," Matt whispered.

"Brother?" ___ looked between them quickly. "You two are related?"

"Francis, he raised me. I was going to tell you I knew him but I couldn't figure out how too." Matt was still looking down. ___'s face flushed.

"Hello, brother," Francis whispered with a broken look on his face...

Sad

Matt’s eyes scanned Francis’, with an apologetic face.

“So, you’re ___’s friend. What are you guys doing today?” Francis forced a smile, which Matt could sense, almost making him flinch.

“Well, Matt asked me out on a date. So I’m not sure what we’re doing today.” ___ smiled at Matt as she said so.

“So, you asked her out?” Francis dropped his fake facade.

“Yeah,” Matt whispered before sitting next to her.

“Well, then I’ll let you two enjoy breakfast.” Francis stood up. “I’ll get you maple syrup and pancakes, okay Matt?”

“Thank you,” he whispered before giving his brother another apologetic look.

After numbly making the pancakes and giving them to Matthew. Francis rested his hands onto the counter, trying not to cry. He loves ___, he loves Matt. Of course, Matt likes her, she’s so cute and shy, just like him. Matt only learned of Francis’ love interest yesterday, walking in as he was writing the letter to her. There’s no way Matt could have known; there’s no way Francis could have known. They never talked to each other about crushes and love interest.

Francis froze. “I have to get that letter before she reads it.” He said to himself, before getting them fresh refreshments. He rushed and got the drinks to them, unfortunately, another customer came in and he had to take and make that order.

By the time he was done, they were gone. With money on top of the letter, for their meal. There was more there than necessary. He pocketed the money; he could feel his tears welling up.

“I’m so sorry.” He noticed the handwriting; it was Matt’s and the letter was unopened. She didn’t even open it, Matt just responded for her. He flipped it over, to see her cursive handwriting.

‘Matt told me not to read this, but while he’s in the bathroom, I wanted to apologize for not reading this. I’ll see you next Friday~!<3’

Francis went into the kitchen with the letter, ready to throw it away with his feeling.

Tears spilled over as he ran a finger over the last sentence she wrote.

He threw the letter in the trash and cried.

Kneeling, he pulled the letter back out. Sobbing, he smoothed it out. Then there was a jingle, showing that someone was in the cafe. He quickly wiped his eyes and came out. There she was, grabbing a bag she forgot. She smiled at him before walking over.

“Were you cutting onions?” She reached up to where the wetness was on his cheek.

“Yeah.” He lied; he loves it when she touches his cheek with so much care.

“Oh, that’s good. I would hate to see you cry. Oh, is that the letter you wanted to give me?” Francis glanced at the letter in his hand.

“You can give it to me, I’ll read it when I get home. It can be our little secret from Mattie.” She giggled; it only tore his heart more.

He ripped it.

“It was just a thank you, for always brightening my day by smiling when you come in.”

She looked a little confused then smiled at him. “You’re so welcome, you are my favorite cook. So I’m glad I can do something in return. I’ll have to buy you goggles for cutting onions,” she giggled before turning and heading for the door. “Bye~!” With that, she ran out of the door.

Francis went back to his kitchen, crying again, realizing he had torn where she wrote. So he threw it away, this time with his hope.

Happy

�� An awkward silence engulfed the three.

“This is really cute,” Matt spoke up looking at the breakfast Francis had set up for ___.

“Yeah, I waited so I could show you.” She smiled at Matt then looked at Francis. “It’s super cute, thank you for putting the effort in for me.”

Francis' heart melts at the sight of her smile. “Anything for you.” Matt sat rather close to ___ since Francis was sitting in the car across from her. Which only made Francis more uncomfortable.

“Sorry, I never told either of you, that I know both of you,” Matt mumbled.

A clear blush came onto her face. “So, you knew he was before I even asked you to come today?” She almost hissed at him; a voice Francis had never heard from her.

“Yeah, I didn’t know how to tell you. But I approve. I’ve got to go, though. I’ll see you later.” Matt quickly hugged her then shuffled out of the cafe. Leaving a flustered and confused ___ to stare at Francis. Francis smirked at her, understanding why she wanted Matt there.

“So, you wanted your friend's approval of me. Why is that?” He leaned a bit forward rested an elbow on the table and hand against his rest.

“What makes you think I wanted his approval?” Her cheeks were nearly burning.

“Well, he said he approves. If not me, then what?”

“Your food?” He chuckled as she was questioning herself.

“He didn’t eat any. Also, you’re blushing,” she basically slapped her cheeks from trying to hide the blush. “Covering it doesn’t make go away. Ohonon.” Francis kept staring at her, he was so incredibly happy. He wasn’t late. She liked him. She was being nervous in front of him. He reached across the table and took her hand from her face. Entwining his fingers with hers, before kissing the back of her hand.

“We should eat before it gets cold.” She whispered.

He let go of her hand and nodded in agreement.

Francis managed to get her talking again, while they ate. Unfortunately for him, another customer came in, thankfully he was done eating. He excused himself from her and to assist the other person there.

___ finished her hot chocolate and the crumble cake. Once she was done, she politely stacked her plates so it was easier for Francis. When he brought out the other customer's order, he winked and smirked at her. Making her blush again. He glanced at her while taking the dishes from the table. She sighed once he left to go wash the dishes.

Deciding to read, ___ picked up her book, but paused, noticing an envelope. She was very confused and decided to take it, starting to open it. She smiled fondly, once she realized it was from Francis, his neat handwriting always made her smile. Even if it was just on the receipt because the cafe was too busy for him to actually talk to her. It was short and to the point.

Summarizing it; it explained to her, how much he loves her. From trying to make sure to have time with her, to stopping all of his playing around. All he wanted was a date and if it was good, for her to be his girlfriend. She blushed at his neatly wrote words. Tracing the letters at the bottom, the words that were making her heart race. ‘Anything for you, love, Francis.’

Putting down the letter, she noticed Francis coming out from the back. Holding a new hot chocolate for ___. He smiled at her once he sat down. He raised an eyebrow once he saw the letter.

“Didn’t expect you to read it here. Well, let me ask in person then.” He sipped his coffee before grabbing her hand again. “Will you go out on a date with me?”

She looked at him. “Ask something else.” He was confused for a moment before smiling and getting up. Placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

She squeezed his hand slightly, looking at him with red cheeks and a smiling face.

“Anything for you, love.”

#fanfic #fanficiton #hetalia #hetalia fanfic #france x reader #france/reader #lalahbug #lalah writes #reader insert #xreader #self insert

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